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PLEASE DO NOT COMMENT IN THIS THREAD UNLESS YOU CREATE A NEW THREAD FOR ONISION (and LaineyBot if she's still in the picture).
This thread will be used to archive all the older threads and their summaries for easy Lolcow browsing.
INITIAL SUMMARY FROM FIRST THREAD>Extreme lolcow, used to be in the top 100 on youtube, now is in the 700s>Rapist>Preys on underage fans, his current wife was 16 when they began dating>Cheats on every girl he's ever dated/married>Thinks all meat eaters are murderers>Compares alimony to slavery>Put his turtle under a plastic bin out in the sun in the middle of summer and was shocked to find it dead an hour later>Says he's a feminist and that women are all attention-seeking, greedy, succubus whores in the same sentence>Tells his fans to kill themselves and posts sexist, racist tweets on the daily in the guise of "comedy">Stepped on and burned a bible while paying for his wife to attend a christian school>Caused his ex-fiance to miscarry by slamming her into a door frame>Created a "skinny-pact" with his ex-wife so she'd remain sexually attractive to him>Got his new wife pregnant at 18 and now they have a son named Troy>>>/pt/29193
12/10/2014 - 9/12/2015>He released his new edgy book on September 11th>During the livestream with his wife, he constantly shoved her off and pushed her away from him.
12/16/2016 - 12/18/2016>Milkanon and Luxymoo screenshots>Billie's back>Onion makes 800th "We broke up" "Just kidding" video >Lainey makes a private twitter to complain about Billie
Luxymoo's post about Onion's come ons >>324533
7/01/2017 - 7/14/2017>Lainey has developed cow tendencies over the course of the Onion threads and according to the farmers, she's featured along with Onion as the second co-conspirator in this dramatic saga from now on. >Onion attempts to instigate drama with Blaire White, wanting a major debate for views. Blaire of course, doesn't give him what he wants and ignores him.>Onion converts a former Air Force buddy to his Sicesca cult. TomatoBallz is still sucking Onion's greasy cock, nothing new there. >Cyr wants nothing to do with Onion, despite trying one last time tearing him away from Dasha just to have "Ocyrion" back for views and nothing more.>Gregma is once again harassing Dan and Phil, the Phan guys don't respond to his bs either.>No word on the IRS thing yet…>Gertrude and minions continue to block, erase and mute comments from detractors; along with buying subscribers, follows and creating sockpuppet accounts.>Despite Gretch's claims of no longer having a poly-relationship anymore, Lame is still going at it; hooking up with a young former schoolmate who plans on moving to Washington for college.>We also learn that Lamo is 99% useless as a housewife and 60% useless as a mother. Onion plans to get rid of her, someday.
7/14/2017 - 7/24/2017> Onion finally gets senpai to notice him, and "debates" Blaire White while looking like Patrick Bateman; the result is a shitshow in which Gerg showcases all his famous narc manipulation techniques, including reductio ad dictionary: "let me just check the dictionary definition of the word 'collection'"> Lainey reckons she's losing weight so fast that by the time I finish this post she'll be weigh a negative number of pounds and be able to float away to Fiji like a helium balloon> Greg had spotted a new potential trinity victim, Vix, until he was cockblocked by her boyfriend. He has a lot of feelings about this difficult situation, all of which are totally platonic of course> Lainey is really relating to today's youth on her livestream #blessed #yassqueen #slay #notgroomingchildreniswear> The IRS popped around for tea and biscuits. We look forward to future updates on how the visit went.> Onion M.D. continues to make great strides in the fight against eating disorders by trying to trigger Shane Dawson's body dysmorphic disorder, using bogus made up measurements and advice> Onion M.D. doesn't apply the same body-shaming techniques on his buddy Billy The Fridge, despite Billy being literally the same size as an actual fridge> Instead, he collabs with the human Fridge and TomatoAsslickette, to create a macabre skit about armed intruders killing a bunch of his characters off for no reason. Comedy for the whole family.> Onion also gets ignored by Kalel, shat on by danisnotonfire, and shade from Trisha Paytas. All deserved, of course.> even Lainey is visibly sick of his shit, although still trying very hard to imitate Billie in a creepy Dasha-esque way
8/12/2017 - 8/21/2017> CloggerBex returns home after accomplishing one shaving cream video and showing up in Gerg's livestreams. Her twitter suggests she won't be flown out again due to school and expenses, not that it matters because she's sad that Plainey shit-talked her on previous younow streams. > Lainey continues to dye her hair Billie's color, making pissy comments on her younows (bars pls!!!) about how she's not with Bex and totally not poly you guys, but she's a weeb now so pls submit fanfics and cosplay ideas. And she's vegan, and did she mention she hates weed?> Gerg suicides his channel by transitioning the main Onision channel with 2 million subs to paid-only, 50 cents a month. Some people's Google Play connected cards were autocharged, and Gerg's 13-year-old fanbase sobs in his comments about how their mom won't let them pay him. Gerg is unmoved, knowing he needs to get sweet cash before the IRS fucks him to the tune of up to $300,000.> A potential third trinity member, Ashlyn (macncheesefairy) appears. 18, vegan, and a visual clone of Billie, she's been getting plenty of Onion's attention on social media, but this isn't definite - Lain-boy has a new crush, but won't say who.> Drama youtuber TallVideos and conspiracy farmers suspect that Greg has three kids total: Troy, Cloey, and one from a previous partner or marriage, which would explain some of the age-inappropriate children's toys around the house better than Lainey's daddy kink. Delicious, but unconfirmed milk on this episode of Big Greg Goes To The City.
8/21/2017 - 8/26/2017> Gargamel drinks water out of a barely rinsed out bottle of Clorox only to throw up on YouNow while our space prince cries begging him to call poison control
(of course Onion was annoyed by her concerns)> our favorite space prince cries after finding out her totally platonic friend has a boyfriend after spending her beta buxx on a plane ticket> macandcheesefairy, a Billie clone, emerges on Twitter and YouNow and starts to get the attention of Lame and Greg despite previously being a Social Repose and Billie fan and has only recently started following both Onion and Lame on twitter.
She has caught the eyes of Onion himself, still yearning for Billbong, while Lainey aggresively ignores her generic manic pixie comment spam on YouNow.> Doormat admits on stream that Greg often breaks up with her during arguments and she doesn't allow him to leave the relationship lol> Faxx Machine blatantly lies on Twitter calling his beloved Patron and donator $$$$ Becca "thick" and not "fat" despite of how contradictory this is.
He has after all called much thinner women, and underaged girls fat on his videos. > Eugenia Cooney is offline for a day which causes Greg to speculate about her death, because spending a day away from the internet is incomprehensible to him, and he announces the callout videos he'll make after she dies.> several of the people who pay Greg to do his own job on discord (lol) have posted on the previous thread confirming they lurk as previously suspected> Cap Anon or perhaps our toiletclogger herself has posted a dank screenshot of a very high Gingerbeck
8/26/2017 - 9/13/2017> guess who's back, back again. Sarah's back, tell a friend> IRS came to visit, Greg fake cries over him going to lose his car and home. It's all TurboTax's fault you gai's> Lainey starts a new channel 'Beauty Bot', will start writing off her makeup purchases as business expenses no doubt.> Get's all righteous over Pewdiepie accidentally saying Nigger on a stream when he flings the word Faggot about despite his space prince being 'trans'.
Haley steps in and brings up his use of the word faggot which Greg tries to twist. He also has deleted his tweets where he says the word faggot.> Greg talking about making a kickstarter and has a new 'vegan' food blog consisting of microwave food and tin foil.> Lainey now has blue hair, just completing her billie transformation, also getting her younow fans to beg for her.> They got rid of their guinea pigs so they could get a puppy.
12/13/2017 - 1/08/2018> Vix continues to stream for three more days, happily making fun of the onions. Greg replies to her one tim, blocked and unblocked her since, but won't answer her messages.> tries to defend himself by subtweeting about Vix only being a friend.> still tries to desperately get noticed by any slightly famous YT (Kalel, Shane, etc) by tweeting at them> tries to set up a Poshmark internet store for selling his nasty-ass clothes at full price. Gets happy about 666 subscribers because hellz yeah u guis hail satan lol XD> Greg’s internet presence becomes less and less as he reuploads and rearranges videos to his six (?) different channels. He goes to LA for a gig with Brandon Rogers where the filters betray him and make his dented caveman brow more prounounced.> onion's new thing is making react videos on stream, yet he was the one who made fun of other youtubers who make react videos, another desperate attempt to get back on top and recreate his channel> Greg makes CPS video to explain why CPS visits. Doesn't explain anything, kisses CPS' ass.> Claims “I’m not a dad anymore “ thinking that it will make the internet stop questioning his parenting skills.> Lainey, apparently straight edge, starred in a glorified advertisement for weed by Corked Diffusers.> Lainey manically tries to make herself happy with shopping binges, haul videos of all the stuff she gets from fans, chopping off and dying her hair every two weeks and flying in a “crush” she has ahortly after Greg claims “we’re not poly anymore”.> Her crush Maya visited the McMansion, Lainey and her made a video where they kissed (patreon-only), Lainey deleted the video within 24 hours cause it didn't work out between the two (or three?) of them, so Maya flies back and the two of them only indirectly interact publicly through twitter.> Greg is very quiet about Maya despite the fact that she's a pothead and we all know his stance on drugs.> Becca and Harley are recorded talking shit about both onions in a discord conversation. Onision is weirdly chill about it, Becca is still in Lainey's streams trying to butter her up.> 14 y/o fan tries to send Lainey a package with gifts, gets grounded by her mother. Lainey only cares about the pressies she now won't get.> Lainey is still desperately trying to push her smol bean persona, gets easily triggered when people question her weight, size (esp. shoe size), anxiety etc. went to go and get shoes to prove how smol her feet are live on stream> Held her show next to Greg’s during a livestream in a desperate attempt to prove she’s totally a SIZE 4 in jOuRnEyZ kIDs> Lainey pushes off doing streams multiple times, claims exhaustion, shitty days and general feel-bad-ness.> Taylor and Greg make videos for their channels of “Love books” they wrote to one another. Taylor features Greg in her video and sounds like a star struck groupie while Greg reads everything in a monotone voice while saying, “This might make me cry”. Greg’s video by contrast, talks about Lainey in the ways she’s important to his image and sticking it to the haters. He releases the video without even showing her the book first and promises to upload the full PDF for Patreons ($). Taylor accidentally forgets to edit out her children’s names in her video and Troy and Cloey are confirmed for the children’s names.> Lainey has a really bad day after he posted his video about the book and is pissed in her stream, making sneaky remarks like "he can do whatever he wants, I don't care" which makes it obvious she wasn't very pleased with the outcome or his way of publishing it> Lainey says she won’t get a ring tattoo because “what if you get a divorce “?
3/21/2018 - 4/03/2018>Onion continues to be embarrassed by his disgusting mess of carrot hair and changes his video to black and white to hide his insecurity. In videos where he just uses color-correction, he makes his hair look piss yellow.>Onion constantly makes lengthy posts telling his haters to stop watching him, as he slowly strives to make his followers unquestioning yes men a la Sicesca.>Onion makes a video about girls he's into. Highlights include insisting he's a Dom, liking black girls, and liking homewreckers.>Sam explains in a private discord some of her stranger interactions with Onion, namely him hugging her and asking if she was wearing a thong, to insisting she sit with him on his bed right next to each other even though there was a chair in the room.>The unhappy couple post a vid titled "Is My Marriage Happy", where Lainey's result is she's unhappy in the marriage and Greg's result is he's happy. Grug constantly interrupts Lainey to talk about himself. Gurg also believes "fapping is so emotional cheating".>Anons speculated about a correlation between the cold sores on Lainey's and Gurgle's mouths to herpes.>Anons speculated about the true value of Lainey's rings, as her first ring was sold to a fan for $700. Meanwhile, Lainey bought 2 silicone wedding rings as replacements.>Onion released a video making fun of his patron's tastes in music and includes a handful of Lolicon and Futanari Hentai from his personal stash for comedy, dubbing it a "Hentai Break". He also includes a Hentai Break in a video where he announces moving his Coterie from Onision.xyz to another exclusive forum.>Onion changed his Twitter profile to an older pic of him with his dark hair where he thinks he looks kawaii, despite announcing numerous times his departure from Twitter.>The unhappy couple dye their hair again out of shame. This time, Gurg's hair looks dust bunny gray and Lainey's is mess of a mop that she pretends is "rose gold". Gurg also trimmed his hair using kid's scissors and a shaving razor.>Onion makes yet another video about how unfair YouTube is to his dying channel. He changes his Twitch handle from "onisiongames" to "onision" after getting verified on Twitch. His twitch only gets an average of 9 viewers luckily.>Onion makes another video about an incident years ago where a doctor diagnosed him with a UTI and he railed on her for diagnosing him with a "cheater's disease".
7/15/2018 - 7/26/2018>Anus continues to again harass Shane publicly via twitter, most notably saying that Shane's lack of wanting to pursue a lawsuit out of not aiming to negatively affect Anus's family was "a threat" >>549218>Anus breaks the back window of his truck due to not properly placing a packaged bunkbed, blaåmes everyone else >>549334 pic of incident >>549440 and proper box placement >>549540>Anus and Sarah were in a room off-camera at some point, and Anus made a comment to her saying, "Dat booty tho" (recreation >>552187 ). Sarah now flips whenever someone else comments that to her, hence her flipping out in Lainey's discord >>549773>Anus made 2 new chapters of his shitty book >>550024>Lainey got new hair ..again. This time it's purple >>550201>Lainey and Anus make a video where Anus admits that he thinks bisexuals whore themselves to everyone and would only be okay if Lainey was dating a "biologically same" person. It's a goldmine of excuses >>551204>McMansion still hasn't been sold after 42 days >>55 1653>Anus spergs about Trump, compilation here >>551950>Anus deflects as his Twitter spergs continue, targets are Shane, Trump, people who support Shane, Billy the Fridge, >>552581 and Demi Lovato >>553354>Lainey and Sarah make a sketch where they touch each other a lot >>553109>Anons share a tweet Anus made in 2013 where he talks about masturbating to 6 year old boys as a strong counter-argument to his Shane spergs >>553328 Onion in response calls out his hypocrisy and apologizes >>553786 but doesn't apologize for his harassment of Shane >>553827>Discord insider shares how Sarah wanted in on the trinity >>553371>Anus blocks people who tweet "dat booty though" but then decides to make a video about it, exploiting Sarah >>553851>People continue to tweet at Anus about Sarah …who continues to deflect by talking about Lainey, compilation >>553933
9/25/2018 - 10/8/2018>Still no public updates on the swamp trailer’s case, still active as of October 8th.>Gregma has started reporting parody accounts for “impersonation” >>579689>Greg makes a stupid “apology” (with half-washed makeup) on video for Billie, AJ and Shiloh. Reuploads the video detailing his “relationship” with Maya around the same time. >>579920>Greg continues to whiteknight Jessie Paege (aka shitting on SR’s horseface), probably to get in her barely legal pants >>580135>Makes yet another video challenging Shane to fight him. >>580342>Lainey makes a video of Greg reacting to her “secret” tumblr account, calls her perfect since she’s totally into girls. >>580515>Lainey takes offence at Shane’s Jake Paul series because she feels like he’s calling her husband a sociopath because people on the internet believe he is one. >>580951>Greg confirms that Billie was the ex he sent the apology to. >>580973 Lainey probably cried about it. >>580992>Sarah and Lainey have stopped following each other publicly on twitter, >>581060 Instagram, discord >>581078 and facebook >>581081. She does, however, follow Greg. >582369>Lainey releases a Mask and Ask video that details a bit about their relationship. >>582987>Gurg spergs about weed a few times. >>583420 >>583579 >Greg posts uncensored tits on youtube. >>584057>Still acting as if he is a savior for sexual assault survivors, despite his history with sexually assaulting women. >>585186>Still trying to start beef with youtubers far more relevant than he is. >>585316 >>585738>Lainey posts “Am I A Transtrender” >>585354 and Kalvin Garrah releases a (respectful) reaction video. >>585483>Greg, of course, bitches about Kalvin on twitter >>585744 and on youtube. >>585765 Kalvin gives no fucks about Greg and ends up getting blocked by Onion. >>585927>Greg is currently trying to get his teen fans to validate his appearance. >>586013