>>659111i don't want to derail the thread but you are not wrong for being upset / annoyed with your mom or feeling disappointed at the choices she has made. this can coexist with your empathy for her, i hope no one guilt trips you into feeling like you aren't allowed to hold her accountable for her choices or behaviours or feel resentment or sadness, disappointment, hurt, anger etc at the way her addiction affects you and your sisters (and the rest of your family, if they're affected by it as well).
this is also my mom's drug of choice, and she goes into terrifying violent psychosis. living with her has been like living inside of a schizophrenic horror movie. which is not to divert the subject onto myself, just letting you know you are far from alone, because living with this can feel very isolating sometimes.
i hope you and your sisters are taking care of yourselves, and that you all have a backup plan or a couch to surf on for a few days if shit really hits the fan. your feelings are entirely understandable and healthy, and your mixed feelings towards your mother do not negate your love or compassion for her.
i'm sure you know all of this, but i feel the need to say it anyways because a lot of resources and support groups for children / loved ones of addicts really hammer home forgiveness (and rhetoric that is often misappropriated to evade accountability or as a blanket excuse for the addict's actions)