>Do you still have a relationship with them? Why or why not?
I still have a relationship with my mom, she's very supportive and loving despite the physical and (mostly) emotional/psychological abuse she caused along with collaborating with my stepfather for said cause. Nowadays she's gotten (sorta) better after realizing how bad she treated me and understood the reason for my mental disorders…in her own
way ("at least you didn't have it as bad as I did, my mom was way
worse (physically) to me, big deal!"). As for my stepdad, he's an even bigger pos and a master manipulator; he deserves no relationship, only forgiveness as I no longer wish to carry hatred inside my heart. He never liked me because I wasn't his kid and forced my biological father to never contact with me due to jealousy towards my mom (to this day, I never spoke to my real father and don't really know who he really is) 20 years ago. He was also sexually abusive (molestation-wise) both physically and mentally to the point that I'm still scared of being completely alone with him and always keep my guard up. Most of the time I pretend he does not exist in my world (perception), it kinda helps.
>Do you get irrationally angry at people who agree with you when you're talking about how horrible they are?
When I first spilled the beans
to my therapists about my home life I felt like I betrayed them, like I stabbed them in the back. I also get depressed after talking about what went/goes down between us whenever chances come up with said therapists.
Honestly, if it weren't for the constant triggers
, flashbacks and nightmares of the abuse, I wouldn't even speak about it and pretend that it never happened like I used to do and attend therapy just so I can get medication and leave like I've done for the past three years (my mom forced me to go anyway, she saw something was mentally wrong with me and wanted to be fixed along with mooching off them).
Though I am very thankful for my current therapist, she helped me realize a lot!
>Do you feel envious or resentful toward your friends with good parents?
I was mostly recentful for the material things they had and wish I had all those things (Internet/MySpace, cellphones, iPods, etc…) except we could only afford cabPost too long. Click here to view the full text.