No. 2550023
I'm curious to what extent you think having a good social life is a result of luck. I'm a good conversationalist, active listener, know how to provide emotional support, etc. Despite this, I have only made one friend after graduating college, and it's a moid with a shared hobby. I've tried going to Meetups, Bumble for Friends, clubs, even church. I've met people who I can have a lovely time chatting to. But they're all, without exception, very passive and seem to expect me to put in all the effort. So it's the type of relationship where they show up if you invite them, they're lovely and sweet people, they respond if you text them, but if you stop initiating, they stop. It's really hard to tell who's genuinely uninterested, who likes you but is super passive, who's socially awkward or autistic, who had social skills that deteriorated during COVID, who is genuinely busy and not using it as an excuse, etc.
When I look at the friends I've made who've lasted, I've met them entirely by accident, friend of a friend stuff. I know it's not the same making friends in your 30s as when you're in school. At this point, though, I don't think the problem is my social skills or lack of effort. I think I've just had bad luck in trying to meet people who I vibe with. I think if what I wanted is to just vibe and chill, I would have better luck, but I have enough friends who are like that and I'm really looking for something a little deeper. I don't see any solution to find the kind of friend I'm looking for other than to keep trying and putting myself out there. It's discouraging because if the issue was something I was doing wrong, I could have hope I could fix it, but when it's out of your hands you have to just have faith that eventually it's going to work out.
No. 2550064
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Last night I played Risk with some coworkers over Discord. It was my first time playing and I had no idea what I was doing but it was pretty fun. I don't generally believe in "socializing" with coworkers like that but I liked it even if only to take off some of the grim monotony from my life.