>>2268157thank you for believing me, that honestly sounds somewhat similar to my experience, DID is an extremely covert disorder and often goes undetected into adulthood, as it's a disorder formed to protect you from things you can't handle and keep you sane and functional when you're in an environment so chaotic that there is no resting for you, you need to be on guard all of the time. being an overt or extremely dramatic disorder like people on tiktok try to illustrate is counterproductive to the point of DID. the switch between alters is not as dramatic as gendies want to illustrate, it very often feels like a subtle switch in attitude and often done subconsciously because your brain has deemed THAT mental state to be the one best suited for the situation at hand. blackouts are also extremely rare and would be counterproductive to the whole "discreet" part of the disorder, for me i experience extremely heavy amnesia, but it's not immediate for the most part, i find that i'm able to retain memories of the past few days, but it quickly begins to dissipate and be suppressed.
honestly, the memory issue is how i noticed, i had just gotten out of an extremely
abusive relationship and when trying to recall it to others, i realized i had absolutely zero ability to recall the 3 years i had just experienced. furthermore, i began to realize almost my entire childhood was lost to me as well, and when expressing concern about this to a friend, she mentioned i might be dissociating. upon looking it up, i got results for DID and immediately closed the browser because i had seen that shit during my combat years on tumblr and had chalked it up to roleplay, much like the others in this thread. in 2015 i was friends with a lot of people who were faking DID, including an extremely infamous user who caused a lot of drama throughout the website, so needless to say my mental image of DID wasn't good. i ignored it until i realized i was losing recent memories as well, people kept telling me about things i did or said and didn't remember and i could physically feel my demeanor switching all over the place, as well as my intentions, the people i liked, my dreams for the future. i couldn't get my story or my memories straight, i felt so confused, it was much like how that woman described it, like a tear in my brain, though i ofte
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