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No. 509469[Reply]

Previous thread:
1213 posts and 121 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 516766

Anon you sound cowish, no one needed to know about your bank account or twin flame…

No. 516770

not bandaid baby, just mistake. my dad pays for all my stuff and we have a great relationship. they'll still live in the same town but it's a scary change. i just don't know why no one else is as scared and sad as i am about this. like 22 years of the same stuff suddenly changing and no one's talking about it? i can accept it and have before, i was just being pitiful and selfish last night ig

No. 516771


>>516770 samefag
can one be a bandaid baby and a mistake? i don't think they would have considered abortion. my mom faced a miscarriage 2 years before so maybe that would have been too much. but i can't help myself for thinking i caused this marriage's downfall. maybe they subconsciously blame me for it since i was never treated the same as my sisters
im still being selfish and pitiful rn but not sorry for it. i think im allowed to feel these things before im strong for myself again

No. 516775

People are really testing my patience these days…Just because I don’t say anything, it doesn’t mean they can talk to me as if I’m not bothered by rudeness.
I’m tired of having to be the nice one all the time and getting just a few words when I care about them probably more than anyone cares in their lives.

No. 516779

Nobody has always to be the nice one. You just have to start standing up for yourself just like your rude peers are doing.

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No. 303056[Reply]

Has any farmer here been a victim of an online child predator?

I've been in a LDR with my abuser for over 4 years. It started when I was 13 (we met when a month before my birthday) and ended when I was 18. He was 17 and a colleague of my father from an online game that he played.
Because of the relationship, my depression worsened, I have developed PTSD and a cluster of identity and self-esteem issues. Throughout the relationship, I acted like textbook BPD case.

Even though he is nothing but a blurred memory now (I am 26), he still affects me. Recently I started having the recurring dreams about him coming back into my life to snatch me into his reality. In those dreams, I am exactic about him coming back and heartbroken cause I have to break up with my bf for him (which I would never do, I want to be together forever with him). Every time I wake up confused and disgusted.

I read some memoirs of victims of child sexual abuse to feel less alone, however I feel guilty for relating to them - after all, their experiences were so much worse, being physical for the start. Sometimes I think I am some Soren-type freak, appropriating other people's nightmares to feel better. But there are no resources for people who went through that and deal with the fallout, only for parents concerned about their child and potential victims.

It makes me feel even worse that I got destroyed by something that so many people would laugh at as not being real (not for a lack of trying, though - it went as far as him traveling from the other side of the country to the city I lived near and me bailing on him as he was getting on the train to my village. As much as I have worshipped him, I knew that he would rape, kidnap me or worse had we met). I have never since experienced such an intense relationship. It was so much more than a sum of it's parts. As an adult, I know that it was shit, that he manipulated me and that we had nothing to talk about, to be honest. But when I was going through it, he was my God, my life, just everything. We had our secret world just for the two of us. I loved him so damn much I thought if I ever lost him, my life would end. I wished that it truly did for so many uears, as I have outlived my usefulness.
I am not even touching the tip of the iceberg here… I feel like only people who went through something similar can understand me.
416 posts and 23 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 515909

I couldn't even read all of this because of how disgusted I felt from it.
I wish there was anything anyone could do to undo trauma like that but the most I have are words and I just want to tell you I'm glad you were at least smart enough to get out of it instead of being strung along with an abuser into your adult years without a chance of a fulfilling life.

No. 515924

I’m so late but same here, you’re not alone. My groomers were primarily from Japan too. I did meddle in their spaces looking for a ‘relationship’ so I realize my own fault. I also resonate heavily with this post >>495793 .

No. 516012

Anon my heart breaks for you. I kept thinking about your post because in no way did you deserve it. You were a naive kid looking to fit in that just ended up finding the worst person online. In no way could you have known how to deal with him/the situation at the time from lack of experience as well as how unfiltered the net was 10 years ago. I'm sorry you feel guilt or dirty about anything sexual I understand from some other abuse. You are not a slut and you will never be on the level of skin walking trash he was. Please forgive your younger self someday because you deserve to move on with someone who makes you happy with or without sex.

No. 516016

Anon, you didn't deserve any of that shit. It probably doesn't always feel that way, but you already know it.
People on the internet can just be complete monsters. I hope you can heal from all this one day, and I hope the piece of shit who keeps stalking you gets what's coming to him.
Like another anon said, at the very least, you got out of it before those predators could've taken your adult years from you.

No. 516839

thank you guys… It actually means a lot. I've never spoken to anyone about it, because of that "shame"-feeling, so I've never given myself a chance to be validated and told, "it wasn't your fault," but it really did lift my spirits
so thank you

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No. 231750[Reply]

Following the newly made author cows thread - >>>/snow/516563, let's have a general writing life thread! Post your favorite writing tips, advice, inspiration, problems, questions, memes, and vents.
62 posts and 14 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 506402

Please tell me that it works. Please

No. 506549

it works for me because i get intimidated by a blank page and it's hard for me to just start writing, even if i know it's just a rough draft. alcohol makes all forms of communication easier for me, not because i suddenly get genius ideas, but because i no longer give a fuck about possibly saying something cringe and just do it. sometimes the stuff i write drunk is laugably bad, but when i'm sober i know exactly why it's bad and can either edit it or start over with an actual plan, instead of getting cold feet over all the possibilities of an unstarted project. so yeah, i wouldn't rely on it for a long term project that you're really serious about, but when you know you just need to stop stalling and write something, it's very helpful.

No. 515786

I literally can not read anything I've written. My anxiety is THAT bad about my writing. I cringe just going over something I wrote last week, even though I worked hard on it and it's not that bad. What is wrong with me. How to fix.

No. 515788

You have to proof read over and over again , page by page until it reads like something you yourself would be happy to have paid for. It's best to set yourself a target of one page a day in the beginning and and a year for something completed. Remember that you are telling a story and stories didn't begin on the page but began around fires entertaining people. Get into the habit of speaking your story out loud , perhaps recording it to dictaphone. It's hard work but you know that.

No. 516487

if you want to write, i hate to say it, but you just have to get the fuck over it. editing is part of the process. learn to enjoy it. join a workshop. show your trusted friends. read your shit.

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No. 81567[Reply]

How many of us here are learning different languages? Since the last language thread didn't get too far, let's try again. Here, list

>languages you want to practice

>languages you are native/fluent in
>your contact/location/personal info
>any other info you think is relevant
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 81870

So hide the thread. Don't you go to language classes, anyway? Go practice your French listening comprehension.

Never used the Genki series but if you're the studious or serious type I'd recommend the Japanese for College Students series. (On the other end of things, Adventures in Japanese is pretty light study, if that works for you - if you've taken Japanese before it will be a breeze and maybe not worth it)

No. 515626

Sorry for raising a dead thread from the dead.

Are there any anons who self-taught a language? How did you do it?

I want to teach myself French (with free rescources preferably) but I have no clue where to start.

No. 515643


not self-taught myself,but I'm a greek anon and there's a belgian guy who went viral some time ago because his greek is so good he is either thought to be a greek,cypriot or greek who was raised abroad.in one of his videos he answers how he self-taught himself a few languages and considering how good his greek is,I'd believe him kek.the video is in greek and there are no subs,so I'll sum up his points here

>learn a little daily

>grammar first,vocab second.he calls grammar "a new system".he considers more important learning the basic grammar of a language and then moving on to combine it with the vocabulary.then he goes on to suggest language books/methods for autodidacts like assimil,complete (insert language you wanna learn here), colloquial languages or books for self-teaching published in your perspective country
>read,listen to things and look up the words that are unfamiliar to you,preferably stuff you are interested in esp if those touch you on an emotional level
>record yourself speaking so you can improve your accent
>ask natives to correct you
>teachers aren't fundamental to your learning,but they can help tremendously as long as you take advantage of the knowledge they can give you
>he suggests some poliglots like Luca Lampariello, Steve Kaufmann and Richard Simcott
>patience and persistence ofc

any output from any self-taugh anon would be appreciated ofc,but I trust the advice this guy gives as his greek is amazing and he is even an english professor at a uni in Belgium

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No. 515658

i'm currently self-teaching myself two languages but one of them i spent years studying @ school and the other i was actually spoke as a young kid, so make of my advice what you will.
-make it fun. if it starts feeling like an obligation, you'll most likely want to stop. find learning resources that make french feel more like a hobby. it can be looking at a sentence in a song that you think sounds good and looking up the words in it, maybe studying the grammar from that. (of course there are a lot of unfun and even stressful moments in language learning.)
-doing a little every day (ish) is obviously the best method. try to stick to that as much as possible, but don't beat yourself up if you can't/don't want to literally study everyday, of course.
-practice your accent. i know there are some videos about what stops speakers of x language from being understood in y language, which could help you work on the most obvious pronunciation problems you might have.
-now, this is advice for a higher level, but: read even when you don't understand every word. don't stress over looking up every word and just try to get used to the language, or even guess what words are based on context.
bonne chance avec ton français!

No. 515770

just a dumb tip for those learning a new language: try switching your phone/any other device's language to the language you're studying. I recommend only doing this with one language or else it can get overwhelming lol. also, if you're into video games and the game you're playing has a different language option (voice or subtitles) use it! it can be a fun way to learn new vocab and study grammar in action. I'm currently playing Pokemon Shield in German because I really like reading in German, so I figured I'd make it fun. my phone's language is also in German. I usually have to stop and think about alerts/notifications I've never seen before, because then I have to decipher them unless I want to press the wrong thing lol.

in addition to German I'm also learning Dutch and Greek – those I'm doing by myself, but German I learned in school for several years and I also did an internship abroad for a few months. I would also emphasize flash cards for learning vocab or new writing systems. they can be made very easily and they're super portable, so you can study them anywhere and anytime.

sorry for the blogpost! good luck and have fun, anons

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No. 515548[Reply]

I’ve been exploring this site for a while now and I do try and find some interesting cows but I notice usually it’s lots of just judgement on things like
A. What they enjoy
B. Their style
C. Just general things that people enjoy
It’s kind of odd but maybe that’s the point of this I don’t know, sorry
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 515581

tbh I'm only here for /g and /ot

No. 515583

Onision is the only interesting case right now. What saves LC and makes it a good site is the non-drama boards.

No. 515585

i have to agree. at this point i only really follow dollymattel/shayna and the animecore thread. shayna is spiraling so fast and so loudly i can't look away (god damn she needs to get off the internet for so many reasons but the tweets just keep on comin), and i used to follow a few of the people mentioned in the animecore thread so it's like looking into a distorted mirror of what i could've been, or something.

a lot of the other threads just seem pointless with a lot of retarded logic. ("this joke doesn't make sense so they must be serious reeeee")

No. 515598

The only thing that bothers me is people trying to dunk on girls for their appearance when they have plenty of other drama to discuss. A lot of the time the girls in question are actually pretty or average at worst and it just screams insecurity from the posters

No. 516631

People also forget about HPD, which is basically pathological attention seeking. I guess BPD is just a bigger meme.

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No. 230337[Reply]

There is not really an organized thread for programming related topics. Feel free to share books and resources here. Post whatever you're working on and feel free to ask questions anons!
67 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 489470

>basic data validation
I know basically nothing about programming, could you explain please? Also are filter technologies really expensive? Wondering because they're trying to get money out of this (through donations). I always assumed they weren't too complicated.

No. 515469

okay I have an actual dumb question. after you write code, how do you implement it? like, I know there's something called an IDE but I've heard you don't need to use that. sorry if this question is literally retarded, the only coding experience I have is editing HTML layouts on myspace

No. 515470

You should write code in an environment. Then, either run it or compile it so it can be ran.

No. 515472

Oops you said you didn't want to use an IDE (samefagging sorry). I highly suggest you do because they simplify things a lot compared to not using one.

No. 515502

Very big dumb. Anyway, generally your code is the implementation. I think what you mean is more along the lines of "How do I run it?" and that would depend upon the language. For something like C you would compile it into a native program (think .exe file), and then run that, but for something like javascript you would simply run the code file itself.

IDE on the other hand stands for interactive development environment. You could think of working with an IDE as like working in a workshop rather than in a field or lot. It assists in the process, but if you have the tools and knowledge it isn't exactly necessary.

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No. 243951[Reply]

Post artwork that's been fixed, red-lined, redrawn, etc.

This is in part to stop the art cow threads from getting derailed. If you want to post a redline of Holly Brown's work, post it here. If you want to post liquefied art of Spechie's, post it here. If you recently fixed your own art work or redrew it, post it here.

All art posted on here is open to critique, so don't post anything you'll get touchy about.

The point is to have a "before" and "after" for those of us who find those picture satisfying or a detailed explanation of why the work is incorrect for those of us who are not artistically inclined.
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No. 512738

No no i meant to say I saw another person's design from another site though

No. 512741

Oop sorry anon

No. 515102

File: 1581790527504.png (1.86 MB, 1262x853, becc.png)

Tried to clean up Becca's strange lighting/shadows. I'd change the colors entirely because the entire thing is so saturated but I wanted to see it with as little of my own style injected as possible. Maybe it's an unfair comparison because I edited it digitally, but white highlights everywhere does not improve anything.

No. 515105

Looks much cuter anon

No. 515118

She no longer looks like the victim of domestic violence. Nice fix-up.

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No. 475318[Reply]

Post about your journals and journal inspirations here!

Some icebreakers:
- What made you start?
- What kind of notebook do you write in?
- Where do you get your journals?
- How often do you write and do you have a preference with what you write with (favorite pens)?
- Do you decorate your journals? If so, with what and how?
- Any favorite stores/companies to get all your journals and journaling goodies from?
118 posts and 30 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 509633

>fully diy it
Just buy a blank paged journal and print the calendar. There are plenty of calendars online…

No. 514862

Are there pretty online journals or something? Or should I just use a google doc

No. 514969

I hate that y'all introduced me to alixepress for journaling shit. I just spent like 50 dollars on that fricken site

No. 514991

What did you get? I need to look into some journals with a lock due to paranoia

No. 515531

Dude, everything's 50 cents, how much stuff did you buy?! lmao (also, point me to some cute things thanks)

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No. 514823[Reply]

Happy Valentine's Day ladies!

>Are you doing anything special?

>What do you think of the holiday?
>What are your favourite pet names to be called?

An anon in the vent thread mentioned that it was her birthday on Valentine's Day, but since her birthday lands on a holiday, no one really remembers it until after Valentine's, so a big happy birthday to that anon! I didn't forget.
3 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 514897

me and my girlfriend had decided that today she would do something special for me, and tomorrow is my day for her. both are surprises

i was expressing some concerns over tonight that aren't relevant, but she ended up telling me what we were doing. it was the same thing i chose to do for her tomorrow! i think that's very cute and we're definitely gonna be one of those couples that propose at the same time

anyways, tomorrow is the day we're doing that thing (botanical gardens) and tonight we're going to a gaga themed event w drag and more

No. 514940

I’m single and lonely so today I’m gonna go to the mall and possibly eat at the Cheesecake Factory after buying my mom her lotion and body wash from bath & body works

…maybe I’ll have a glass of wine if I do decide to go to the Cheesecake Factory

No. 514942

Live your best life anon! It’s not cheesecake, but I personally loooove CF’s lemoncello cream torte cake.

No. 514949

I ate brekkie tacos today lol it was pretty good.
Made tortillas fresh, tabasco sauce,peppers,egg with green leafs mix in, eggs a little bacon and raw onion on top. It was most enjoyable. I forgot it was valentine day.

No. 514950

File: 1581732170170.jpg (21.06 KB, 400x400, 2140c128c5e40e847e902e7c46d68f…)

Happy san valentin's day anon!

>Are you doing anything special?

i did! i when out with a freind of mine it was fun, we talk a lot!

>What do you think of the holiday?

i think is a cute holidays as anyother it can be use for extra cute dates or gifs i really like it

>What are your favourite pet names to be called?

Honey, tbh i thing is so cute and it come out so natural.

Hope all the ladys had a very nice day and happy san valitne!

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No. 397814[Reply]

Do any other farmers find yourself going through periods of internet “rabbit holes” where you find yourself reading specific websites/watching vids related to a specific subject for days~weeks on end? What is your current “rabbit hole” and how did you find yourself there?
311 posts and 60 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 505710

You're thinking of anti-natalism, anon. They're just depressed doomers who think the pain of life shouldn't be inflicted on anyone.

No. 505720

they're right

No. 507021

holy shit thank you so much anon! I thought i lost this link! thank you so much

No. 513364

Got interested in the Wells Church cult recently after watching a couple of Dr. Phil clips about it. Their way of converting people is to drug and kidnap them, then they brainwash them with heavy preaching and more drugs.

From what I’ve read in the comments, people fear this will be Waco all over again and some compared the cult with the Osho movement. I also noticed that they are diversifying as of late.

No. 514903

File: 1581715879393.png (683.21 KB, 1517x931, huh.PNG)

One odd rabbit hole is oddly specific government sites. Everything has to be regulated so of course they exist, but it's so surreal seeing all the bureaucratic rules behind everything. Another weird thing about sites like this is that they're extremely bad at advertising. They have a bunch of programs you can take advantage of that no one really knows about

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