I agree with the idea of feminism but I hate calling myself a "feminist" (and being shamed by feminists for not wanting to identify with their ugly little label) because, while I agree with certain points they make and share some general opinions, I feel like the way they go about voicing them is annoying and counterproductive. Feminists don't only get a bad rep for saying stupid or obnoxious things imo, they also get a bad rep because of how they present themselves. The "angry, combative feminist" stereotype is a very real thing, and their often stereotypical flashy look (bright colored hair, piercings/tattoos, the clothes they wear) only exacerbates this more, it makes them look like lunatics. And I don't have anything against flashy people, I'm a flashy person myself, but now I hate that it's associated with crazy, screeching feminists.
I know some people are worth losing your composture over during an argument bc they're just so fucking dense or condescending, but I'm ashamed to associate myself or agree with a movement that, more often than not, gets noticed for being loud, rude and obnoxious. It makes me physically cringe. It's not appealing to anyone, ever, to be a total cunt to the people you're "debating" with. The loud, obvious feminists I encounter on the daily (mostly college) are always ready to pick fights with the people who say things they disagree with, and they're never very eager to be civil about it, they want to full-on yell at people. I don't want these people "representing" my gender, I just want a normal, level-headed woman who can have a discussion with a man or another woman without acting like she's God's gift to this Earth for reading tumblr posts and having feminist paraphernalia adorning her backpack.
Also: acting like people either agree 100% with what you say or they're wrong isn't gonna get people that don't like the idea of feminism in the first place to join your movement, and it's obvious to anyone with half a brain that 98% of what feminists say or do is geared towards OTHER feminists. The most extreme versions of these feel kind of cult-y, in my opinion; "you either agree with us or YOU'RE WRONG!!!". I thought the point of feminism was to convice people who DON'T like it that it's a rational ideology to have? But it's become more and more evident to me as I grow older that it's just another gatekeeper club where you either raise their flags and parrot what they say or you're "alienated". I hate it. NoPost too long. Click here to view the full text.