/ot/ - off-topic

>>424513
maybe it needs a bit of context but i had an online friend whom i used to play games with for months. he had a wife and kid but still made time to play with me. despite that we used to be very close. i would look forward to when he'd reply and if it weren't in a few hours i'd get so uncomfortable. i was so happy the first time he said goodnight to me. i hated his friends in our group and would refuse to talk to them. i would cry everyday once he went to play another game. i just needed him to focus on me. but that's over. hopefully a woman will probably be nicer to me.

This shit gonna be long ok. I was introduced to this girl, C by a good friend who used to be in the same group of friends. We went to the same shows, had similar interests and my friend was just like, let’s all hangout before this show. I had just followed C on instagram and elsewhere and thought she was very pretty, and when I saw her irl…she wasn’t ugly by any means but holy fuck had she meitu’d her nose and skintone. I was really taken aback by it, I didn’t recognise her at first but thought that maybe she was insecure or some shit, we were about 18-20, she’s a bit younger than I am.
We get along well and after a year or so of hanging and visiting, helping her with makeup and hair, kinda like sisters, my other close friend saw a ig post of hers. She had started to claim whatever I had borrowed to her, was hers. Giving out tips on how to dye hair, when irl I had done it for her and not in the ways she described. My friend told me C looked so much like me that he had almost left a comment for me. I was weirded out but just tried thinking it’s the usual “friends picking up each others mannerisms” or shit like that.
WELL, I started noticing how she never pitched in when she was visiting me for weeks on end, never actually held up a conversation unless it was about fandom shit or shitting on her former friends, so I asked the friend who introduced us about it. Apparently she was over her and was waiting for me to be done with her too, we trash talked. It ended up weird, first friend not really wanting to hang with us unless she had to, she was civil about it but C really had no idea. She was so self centered. If I mentioned a tattoo, a hair or any idea about my looks, she’d steal it and do it the next day. She’d bodyshame everyone, including myself which I find odd these days, why copy me if I was so ugly?
After a year or so, C’s friends have started the process of ditching her for being shitty, she started vague posting after every time I or anyone else would tell her no to something. “whore this whore that”, it was actually disturbing to see her throw tantrums like that. If you asked her about it, she’d delete the posts, pretending they were never there.
A few years ago, we just casually started drifting apart, and by gradual I mean I did my fucking best in order to get the fuck away. She then did a weird style change where she started copying the friend who introed us??? Our looks could not be more different so it was weird. I mean,Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Like OP, I obsessively stalk people who were mean to me years and years ago. I wish I could just let them go but I keep wanting to compare my life to theirs so I can feel that I finally "won".

Any advice on how to stop?

>>448126
I get what you're asking but your mind is playing a trick on you here. The painful memory still affects you and hasn't healed. You've been hurt and it hurts till this very day. There was no closure. Maybe other emotional wounds contribute to this pain. A pool of emotionally-charged baggage (that Everybody accumulates). So you're obsessed. Simply quitting your stalking habit evades the issue at hand and just relocates it again. The stalking is a signal, a cry for help, un-adressed pain. The pain will stay even if you quit right now and find another reason to surface. Good luck, friend, and I'm hugging you from afar.

this is long, sorry.

In high school my friend was openly bisexual. I’m a lesbian but at the time I didn’t know this. I was told through another friend that she found me attractive. After I learned this, feelings for her started to blossom and this is when I stated to realize I liked girls. I started to spend more time with her and we became really close. We liked a lot of the same music and I made numerous mixed CD’s for her. She would spend a lot of nights at my house and we’d sleep in the same bed and though we never really cuddled, I remember laying a bit closer than necessary or even laying my leg against hers would make my heart race. But I couldn't bring myself to admit my feelings for her.

She was dating a guy throughout this and then they broke up. There was a window of opportunity to say how I felt but I didn’t use it and before I knew it, she was dating another guy. This killed me. My crush turned into real, unrequited love and a lot of angst came with that. I confessed my feelings for her one night when we were drunk and she basically said ‘too bad you didn’t tell me earlier’. IMO she wouldn’t have dated me even if she was single and I’m not sure if she even actually did like girls but this still hurt. We continued to be friends for a year or so after but in grade 12, after some messy drama between her and my other friends, we stopped talking. My friends hated her and I pretended to as well but really, I still had feelings for her.

I went to a small college in a new place and in the first year I struggled to make friends. I didn’t have anyone to talk to besides my roommate so I spent a lot of time alone and admittedly obsessing over my former friend, fixating on old pictures and memories of us and stalking all of her social media. There was another fight between my friends and her and it ended in her blocking all of us but I made separate accounts so I could still follow her social media. I remember finding her email which led me to her youtube account, there was music there that she’d liked and I cried listening to it. In a group chat with my friends I let my anger and bitterness out. I took pictures of her and made memes of them, made fun of her boyfriends and said some vile shit about her. I had a folder on my computer dedicated to pictures and information on her.

This was three years ago or so? My feelings for her only went away when I started to obsess over another friend (not romantically but funny enoPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>447987
me and my friends usually get those animal onesie pajamas and put beanie baby tags on them

not really spectacular or anything, idk what I wanna dress up as this year

>>447987
I was thinking May Queen from Midsommar would be a fun costume idea for this year. Or not full May Queen but just the white cult dress with a flower crown…

I've always wanted to dress as Marie Antoinette or a Georgian era lady but never put forth the effort (or money, time) to actually do it lol. An easier historical costume idea would be like, "Maid Marion" or Eleanor of Aquitaine: https://youtu.be/lvJFsYZTzrE

>>447936

So good, i love Yoshitaka Amano's designs , he is probably my favorite artist.

>>447936
I watched Bloodlust just yesterday, anon! It was great.
I was initially put off by the aesthetic of the 80s film (it looks very "meh", while Bloodlust is fucking beautiful with all its detail - I think even the director of Bloodlust was billed as complaining that the first film "looked cheap"), but I was so impressed by Bloodlust, I think I'll watch that soon, too.

i have had some experiences before - mostly when i was younger.
>live in somewhat old house
>newly renovated
>crawlspace everywhere because of slanted ceilings
>wood house (scandi style)
>constant creaks, bumps and drafts
>4 bedrooms, 3 upstairs, 1 small downstairs
>always had dogs, sometimes they stare at certain spots in the house

1st exp:
>be 6
>almost asleep in room next to staircase
>door is open to let in the hallway light
>hear parents downstairs tv noises
>suddenly shape manifests from shadow
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>448121
>>448138

i can't stand blood and sharp things, it gives me vertigo to even look at a boxcuter, i cope with the self harm impulses beating myself with a stick, a bruise will just go away shortly, i've slapped the crap out of myself in more manic episodes too.

>>447421
>La La Land is now high art
Fucking lol. He should stay in school until he learns more about film history.

>>448139
Me and that damn toothbrush making my arms black and blue.

New thread: >>448171

>>448136
But you don't have to fill out everything though. You can make any social media account only with an e-mail address. If you allow them to use your location, give your real name, and phone number, it's your fault.

>>448199
Isn't having a non-real facebook against the rules? Hell I don't think you can activate it to even try and upload fake info without verifying by replying to a text message now adays.

>>448206
I have several accounts I use for sharing stupid mobile games stuff. None have my info aside from throwaway e-mails. As long as you don't get reported they don't care.

>>448199
And that's the thing, imagine being young and making a Facebook as a public About Me page to connect with your classmates. Most young people like to share about themselves to their friends. When you get older and become an adult, people branch off to being more public or more anonymous.

>>448130
>free speech, anonymity or privacy.

Yeah, I love it when freedom allows regular cp to be posted and lots of propaganda that pushes people to become violent mass killers. We are so violated to have that removed. kek. Freedom.

>>447779
Not surprised, corrupt countries all have the same shit. I'd like to say something more positive but… it is what it is.

>>447815
This need to be heard in other countries, the government need to stop this bullshit about the police

Locked due to being a duplicate topic. This doesn't need it's own thread, take it to pink pill.

Why are they like this ? In this thread they

>Accuse ex-muslims of being Islamophobes
>Proudly declare themselves to be sissys
>Literally Share Interracial sissy Porn
>Share the same unfunny tired Jokes
>Anti SWERF Rants

https://www.reddit.com/r/ChapoTrapHouse/comments/cj9ok1/terfs_got_salty/

Chapo's subreddit has just been quarantined, IIRC it's the second leftist subreddit to be quarantined after fullcommunism. Most likely for threats of violence against specific groups they don't like.

>>445022
>Chapo's subreddit has just been quarantined

This is amazing, i can just imagine the butthurt longposts.

>>447604
>relying on the military industrial complex siding with commies who want to abolish all their jobs, take all their money and hang them
good plan

>>447641
What were you responding to ?

>>303434
cringe you sound like an ugly boring teenager whos obsessed with your appearance in order to mask your own self. i bet all your relationships are superficial af. even ugly people have friends so your whole post is just an off-topic embarrassing blog that has nothing to do with this entire thread lmao

>>303434
Love yourself anon. I mean, Christ, if you are so focused on your looks and approval from others, no wonder you had trouble keeping real friends. People are generally attracted to authenticity.

Has anyone here ever ghosted themselves from nearly everyone because you feel like you are the "toxic" one? I used to have lots of friends but a couple years ago I had a mental breakdown, paranoia, was in the hospital for a short time. Shortly after, I deleted all my social media and now rarely communicate with anyone except my boyfriend and occasionally my immediate family. I enjoy my solitude but sometimes wonder what all those people think of me now, if I ever do cross their mind. (hopefully not)

Honestly, sometimes I wish I could just erase the memory of me from everyone except a few ppl of my choosing.

Bringing this dead thread to life.

This never really bothered me before, because I feel like back when I dated my ex I had a decent group of people through mutuals that i saw every so often that I wasn’t really ‘alone’. Then we broke up, I moved, and had this Tinder phase where I kind of lived my social needs through ‘dates’ with guys. Then I met my husband and we were so busy going out, traveling, and doing all of these things that I was perfectly happy to have a bubble with just him and my family. I actually have a lot of close family that I treat as friends (cousins) but since I moved to my husband’s country, its just me and him. I had a few people I talked with and hung out with but literally every single one of them just felt too toxic and were all “wahh wahh help me, but I’ll never show support back to you” to me (and to he fair, one was legit crazy “help me stalk my ex bf” kind of type”) so I just ghosted and blocked them all.

I got married a month ago and my husband’s family really wants us to have a ceremony but….i have absolutely no one to even invite, because my family will probably be too busy and it costs a lot to fly here… not to mention hotels. Even my MIL comments on how I have basically no friends here. It used to be so easy to meet locals when I was uni aged because it was appealing to go out, drink, karaoke, eat good food…but absolutely none of that appeals to me. And a lot of expats are here short term and the ones that are married are either old or have kids so I feel like they wouldn’t want to relate with me. Either that or they are in their late twenties still trying to go out and club every weekend. Honestly I’m just hoping that having kids in the next few years will fix this, because i will be open to bigger communities of people.

Wow this is the thread I’ve needed.
I lost basically all my friends because I decided to stop drinking, after years of being an awful alcoholic. I had to cut ties with the alcoholics in my family too because being around them is far too triggering and I simply can’t relapse. I get all my socializing from my husband, occasionally my mom and sisters (all school age) when I visit them. I’m basically a shut in NEET, I’ve heavily invested in my hobbies and stay at home 95% of the time. I’m guilty of being a weeb too.. But at the very least, I maintain my appearance well and when my husband wants me to come with him to see his friends, I’m actually kind of funny and sociable despite the fact that I have bad social anxiety.

I genuinely don’t have an issue with my lifestyle though. Sometimes I wish I was more “normal” and had real friends and enjoyed going out, but it’s so much better not pushing myself to be something I’m not. A lot of my family is like this too, so maybe it’s genetic tbh. I’m just really glad I married someone who’s understanding and loves me for me.

>>434032
How on earth does taking a pill in the morning and going to an endo once a year make someone unable to work? At the very most (as in already having fairly severe hypothyroidism at diagnosis) I can see taking a leave of absence for a couple months while you wait for synthroid to start kicking in

>>437477
shes said she's dyslexic and has a speech impediment. so im not surprised

>>426829
I only purchased it because Waffles recommended it so much. It's… okay. Honestly, not worth all that money, but it's a lot better than the sketchbooks I used to buy discount stores.

>>431963
I think this is the only picture that came out even slightly good in that video. I've been subscribed to Lavendertowne for some time now, and it's just… getting worse and worse. It's sad to see.

>>439272
I sometimes watch her videos. I definitely think she has her comfort zone and she stays in it, but I enjoy seeing how she uses different art supplies.

I've been carrying around a 4 leaf clover for almost a month

Do I have to enchant it to get the luck coming my way or what?

>>395390
What did you do to have that effect? I wouldn't do that, but I'm curious. I don't necessarily believe in this stuff but it's interesting

so, yeah, i was a very insistent and materialistic atheist until about 3 years ago. had some stuff happen, felt some things, realized that hey, maybe, maybe the universe we live in does not just consist of the things we see. maybe there are some things we just feel, and don’t need to explain.

now here i am learning and reading tarot, trying out some spells here and there, and trying to gain back the spirituality i lost in my early years.

i agree with the theory that after the enlightenment age everything went “science based on evidence ONLY other things are NOT real and FEMININE which is not reasonable and logical and MASCULINE” so humanity as a whole, we lost a part of ourselves. our kinder, softer parts. our “maybe”s and “i don’t know”s. i was like that too, so harsh, and so cynical.

but the past year i’ve been so alone which led me to confront so many parts of me and my life, and it was so hard and painful that i wanted a guide. or a reassurance. i found it in studying tarot cards one by one, which tell a human being’s whole story.

i don’t know about all that intent, i try but i’m still skeptical. i do want to give in though.

for me, this whole thing is like a safe quite private thing that i can use to heal or act like i have some control in the chaos that is my life.

also, are there any turkish gals itt? where do you get your stuff, i can’t manage to find metaphysical shops anywhere lol

>>395759
The inverse is certainly more common
>Jesus and Christianity aint real
>But ghosts and witchcraft is

And I say this as a person who uses tarot and astrology

>>447198

Jesus is like a middle eastern version of buddha, and like buddhism it ultimately leads to nihilism. The enlightened one just does nothing and waits to die and reincarnate or move on to another world. Current Christianity is not even Christianity at all. I really don't concern much with it.

>>447189

These are the times of Kali Yuga. The collective is spiritually shut.

>>409832
>>427889
Do you guys have a discord?

>>441965
>>442074
what’s most baffling is how this individual seems to be female

the selection of gifs, paired with the extensive reiteration of academic credentials, gives me big 2013 “tumblr fandom mom” vibes. like i can picture this individual penning marvel fanfic and using fancy discourse words to explain why Captain America’s female love interest is a dumb slut

I am really interested in linguistics and language, was watching a video about Esperanto, a language constructed to be easy to learn so that everyone could learn it as a second language and it would be a universal language. It never caught on, but I also learned that apparently there is a language called Lojban that is supposed to be logically constructed so that sentences are logical and have no ambiguity. The language just borrows words from European languages, it's the structure of the language that's logical. It honestly sounds weird as fuck. Here is a video of it being spoken.

Also, here's a pdf of Alice in Wonderland in Lojban to see what it looks like written http://www.lojban.org/texts/translations/alice/alice.pdf

The Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman fandom

http://www.thedqtimes.com/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/HanksHussies/

http://hanklawson.blogspot.com/p/hank-pics.html

>>447209
>HanksHussies
Fucking hell lmao