Sorry for the blogpost, just wanted to share things are going well:
A few days ago, I got a call back for an interview and it went extremely well. The manager actually pulled me to the side and said I was the one she wanted to hire. I hope I hear from her soon. I travelled there from a different city, it was my first time driving my personal car (which is a scary thing), my first time driving on a freeway, and to a new city on my own. I have only had my license two months and have barely used it. It was truly a jump from my comfort zone.
At my doctor's appointment, all went well. Blood test shows that all of my levels are normal, except for one small thing which was just slightly out of normal range and nothing to worry about.
I heavily cut my internet use today, to less than 30 minutes instead of 8 hours like I usually do. I starting to read a book I've been meaning to, and it's very calming and helpful for my mental health. I'm able to focus on it and really absorb what is being said, which is usually really difficult for me.
I drove myself to a few grocery stores when I couldn't find what I wanted, which I would never normally do. It was a really busy day today too, work traffic. It seems silly, but when I couldn't find what I wanted, I'd usually just go home because I had worked up too much anxiety to do anything else, but today was nice. I actually wore a skirt in public for the first time, quite literally. I was so self conscious I couldn't do it, I'd normally feel gross, but it felt really awesome. I've only ever worn pants. Feeling the cold air on my legs kind of took me back to when I was a child, when I wore shorts and was too young to care. More people approached me today too, I was offered more help and people struck up conversations with me. I still felt a bit out of place, but I was masking less. I felt I was being more genuine in my replies to people, not entirely dissociated (still fighting it a bit).
I actually bought things for myself too, just to make me feel better, things I've always wanted to get, but never received and was too critical to get for myself. I bought myself flowers (plants, not cut). I adore them; I've always wanted to get one as a gift, like those girls who's parents would congratulate them after graduating. I also bought a candle, because they're comforting to light and read next to at night. I specifically bought a religious one, the ones with the picture of Christ on it bPost too long. Click here to view the full text.