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File: 1538343036923.jpeg (21.99 KB, 590x417, innocence-in-danger-smartphone…)

No. 303056[Reply]

Has any farmer here been a victim of an online child predator?

I've been in a LDR with my abuser for over 4 years. It started when I was 13 (we met when a month before my birthday) and ended when I was 18. He was 17 and a colleague of my father from an online game that he played.
Because of the relationship, my depression worsened, I have developed PTSD and a cluster of identity and self-esteem issues. Throughout the relationship, I acted like textbook BPD case.

Even though he is nothing but a blurred memory now (I am 26), he still affects me. Recently I started having the recurring dreams about him coming back into my life to snatch me into his reality. In those dreams, I am exactic about him coming back and heartbroken cause I have to break up with my bf for him (which I would never do, I want to be together forever with him). Every time I wake up confused and disgusted.

I read some memoirs of victims of child sexual abuse to feel less alone, however I feel guilty for relating to them - after all, their experiences were so much worse, being physical for the start. Sometimes I think I am some Soren-type freak, appropriating other people's nightmares to feel better. But there are no resources for people who went through that and deal with the fallout, only for parents concerned about their child and potential victims.

It makes me feel even worse that I got destroyed by something that so many people would laugh at as not being real (not for a lack of trying, though - it went as far as him traveling from the other side of the country to the city I lived near and me bailing on him as he was getting on the train to my village. As much as I have worshipped him, I knew that he would rape, kidnap me or worse had we met). I have never since experienced such an intense relationship. It was so much more than a sum of it's parts. As an adult, I know that it was shit, that he manipulated me and that we had nothing to talk about, to be honest. But when I was going through it, he was my God, my life, just everything. We had our secret world just for the two of us. I loved him so damn much I thought if I ever lost him, my life would end. I wished that it truly did for so many uears, as I have outlived my usefulness.
I am not even touching the tip of the iceberg here… I feel like only people who went through something similar can understand me.
397 posts and 23 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 491576

You were so young back then and this was targeted. There is no responsibility on your part for what happened, and let me tell you, whether you'd been in contact with him or not he still would've mutilated himself ~ he just had an easy audience to manipulate this time. It's so hard but don't be hard on yourself for this. Fuck that dumb asshole.

No. 491582

get the fuck out of this thread idiot

No. 493110

No. 493142

I'm kind of glad I found this because it sort of help recontextualize the stuff I went through as not just "a weird internet experience" that I was overreacting to or letting bother me too much but into what it was. Grooming.

I think the first time was around when I was 12 and I began talking to a man that was about 20. He did the usual thing about how I was mature and looked so cute and much older than my age (I didn't. I looked 9 when I was 12). He spent 5 months befriending me before starting to ask for nudes and images. I remember sending stuff of me in skirts and my mothers heels to him. I also sent photos of my chest on one occasion but that made me super uncomfortable so I didn't do it often. He stopped talking to me after I refused to send more nudes, gave up and moved onto his next victim.

When I turned 15 I again somehow "befriended" a guy that was 26. He would mention constantly how he thought the legal age should be lower (than 16), how "lolis" aren't pedophilia, how liking teenagers isn't pedophilia and is super natural, etc… He would constantly use the idea that 18 and 15 were ONLY 3 years apart to try to get me to send photos. For maybe months I fell for this stuff constantly and I couldn't stop talking to him when i did feel bad because he would threaten to kill himself or to leak my nudes. He would also constantly bring up that I sent the photos myself and that he needed me to make me feel like it was my fault. It only stopped when I turned 16 and my computer broke so i couldn't access the internet easily anymore. It felt so relieving to be free of him.

He was autistic and would constantly mention it since he knew it made me pity him and justify his behaviour. He used it as an excuse constantly. I hated autistic people for so long after because of the impression he left on me. After we stopped talking he contacted me again stating that he decided he wasn't a guy but was trans and how everything he had done was okay because he was actually a girl and autistic and that I was being mean. I know it was just another ploy for pity points though. Especially since at the time he contacted me again I had set a hard rule against talking to any men older than me. I remembering hearing after that he tried something similar with another girl but she actually had the balls to call him out on it.

It freaks me out so much thinking about how my underage nude phoPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

No. 493151

Recently I got bothered by someone suggesting that I report the guy who groomed me from when I was 12. All of our contact was in IM messages and I never sent him nudes so it seemed pointless to me, so to prove my point that it was a waste of time that would only cause me stress, I contacted an organisation to ask if it would even be investigated.
The organisation said that even if there was no explicit proof of him asking for nudes, as long as I could prove that we were in contact whilst I was underage the police would still take my allegations seriously enough to investigate. I was surprised.

I still don't plan to report him because I'm honestly over so much of it now that I don't feel like it's worth going through all that when at best he can only be charged with attempting to solicit child pornography, and not possession, but I wanted to just post this here in case any other anons with similar cases are wondering if they will be taken seriously.

Anon I read your story and it breaks my heart that you weren't protected the way you should have been even after your parents found out. No 12 year old "allowed" themselves to be groomed because nobody can possibly look at a 12 year old and blame them for what an adult did to them. It wasn't your fault in any way, not one bit, he was a predator and your parents failed help you at a point when you were most vulnerable. You were incredibly strong to deal with that alone so young, and you've stayed strong enough to survive addiction and to recognize harmful behaviors. You've lived through all of this and you're still working towards recovery while also looking to protect those kids in a way that you should have been. I wish the best for you and your new child, you're amazing.

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No. 490704[Reply]

Have a dumbass question that doesn't fit any other threads? Ask away!

Previous thread: >>>/ot/473321
141 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 493064

Do women actually gain foot fetishes or is it really rare? I've just came from the Wikipedia article about it,not the other way around just fascination the with male feet, I'm just insatiably curious

No. 493065

I have a foot fetish’s but only when my feet are worshipped, licked and my toes are sucked on. It just feels good. I could never do the same for men’s feet. They’re usually gross. Women’s feet on the other hand are small and dainty…

No. 493069

creepy scrote larper

No. 493087

I wasn't directly asking you… can't you read?

No. 493096

It depends. Fetish as in something all encompassing that I can't enjoy anything else? No. But it is a part of the body I appreciate. If I'm attracted to someone (which is very rare) I will enjoy caressing, kissing, and licking their feet like I would other places like their neck or stomach. Although I prefer it having done to me more because my feet are sensitive.

The guy I had done it to had very good hygiene so it never grossed me out or anything. In the end I think what made it so great was his reactions. He was very embarrassed that he got turned on from it and it was hot as fuck. I liked making him squirm when I called his feet cute and pushed him on his back so I could kiss them. Cringe I know, lmao.

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No. 475692[Reply]

How do you stop yourself enjoying yaoi? I realise its cringe but I can't enjoy straight or lesbian couples in fiction anymore.
12 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 492963

Worst case: you find out the boyfriend/girlfriend is into yuri or yaoi as well
404 reality check not found

No. 492964

aren't most yuri written by scrotes for scrotes though

No. 492965

Liking yaoi is based. Fuck 3dpd men. One of the coolest people I know is a fujo and her love for 2d men has landed her work in animation. I wish I was as into 2D men as she is.

No. 493005

At least yaoi characters have some personality. Almost every otome protag is a doormat.

No. 493040

She’s gonna make her yaoi dreams come true

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No. 453716[Reply]

Past thread: >>392418
Point and laugh at fucktarded fetishes. The more unusual and bizarre the better.
289 posts and 41 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 490425

Recently found out from a friend's experience with her husband that "sex positive" sex therapists who help struggling couples may recommend bringing BDSM into the relationship to "create a trusting bond around sex." Beyond horrific.

No. 490441

The Second Life bit at 3:33 had me dying of laughter

No. 490490

Yeah because it's completely impossible to have a trusting bond around sex without BDSM, right? That's horrifying. Sex "positivity" is a virus that needs to be eradicated before it ruins more people's lives.

No. 493036

File: 1576020875546.jpg (Spoiler Image, 66.24 KB, 1024x509, rip.jpg)

Rip again

No. 493038

File: 1570211509555.jpg (93.84 KB, 521x188, AE_13_cybert2.jpg)

No. 469216[Reply]

An all-purpose employment thread. Post about your employment status, successes, woes, anxieties, rants, etc. The chancellor will see you now
202 posts and 14 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 493015

Congrats anon! I'm starting to job hunt a little and I'll definitely be trying to apply some of the stuff you've posted!

I think during my last round of job hunting I started to really get the hang of it and hopefully I can get some of my confidence back!

No. 493016

Thanks and good luck!

Remember: confidence < competence < practice.

There are plenty of lessons in every single interview. You just gotta look for them.

Also keep in mind that knowing that your skills, availability and expertise are in demand also adds to your confidence, like it does for me.

No. 493018

Don't know how I missed this post but that's pretty awesome. Congratulations.

No. 493022

i'm almost 27 and i've never had a job. i feel like i'll be a student forever. i can get by on what i get given for it, even if it's not a comfortable life. i enjoy reading the stories of people who have jobs but i have no confidence to apply to any.. and getting older.. i wouldn't be taken seriously with no previous experience. /spill over

No. 493035

Farmers with micromanaging bosses, how do you cope? Mine wants to be included on every email sent and is constantly asking for updates on the smallest of tasks. For example, this morning a coworker asked if I secured a meeting room and not even a minute later my boss replies with the whole department CCd with: “Anon???? Please respond??”

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No. 491663[Reply]

The more secrets you feed the farm, the stronger the farm gets. Lay yourselves bare before the farm gods.
137 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 492992

he just got raided by the police
love yourself more you deserve better

No. 492994

File: 1576012815238.jpg (65.22 KB, 634x435, article-2311267-195F930D000005…)

Im not sure I was ever attracted to men. I got in relationships with them to satisfy their want n avoid awkwardness. I always broke up with them before sex happened because I didnt want it to. The relationships I had with other women felt so much more fulfilling. They only ended when I got cheated on or mutually ended it. I didnt call myself a lesbian because I didnt care for the idea of sex that way n figured it was a big part. Ive never really understood when other girls pointed out a male celebrity was so hot shed screw him. I just dont see people in the light of 'I want to have sex with them' at a glance. Idk if Im bisexual or lesbian, I think Im too scared to call myself lesbian from the high amount of transbians. At least with bisexual I wasnt such a target for those pricks. I always saw myself alone with a good career or maybe marrying another woman if we really clicked.

No. 493048

I feel society (in terms of mentality of people and other things) is regressing back to pre-1960s state before social progress and political revolutions for multitude of reasons. and this is not natural but on purpose because people were getting too ""woke""

1) there has been some evidence that people have been getting more dumbed down in the past 10 years, which is very clear if you compare archives of 00s discussions online vs 10s discussions online of any subject (but especially about social/cultural/political/historical subjects). low education and illiteracy was pretty rampant before the mid 20th century

2) a lot of beauty standards for women is weird af, with women having to look more and more like plastic dolls and be devoid of any kind of personality, and not even show facial expressions and hide their mannerisms like robots besides carefully crafted shit (this even applies to men) like how society was focused on being polite and "proper" and crafting the most perfect image of the most ideal people before the mid 20th century. in the mid and late 20th century and 2000s being "real" was the thing because of the political atmosphere back then that made people tired of the old and convention.

3) the bullshit with groupthink and being "cancelled" if you have the wrong opinion, again a completely early feature of human society and in the 60s-00s there was a trend of being racy and having controversial opinions because it was yielded as progressive and forward thinking while now it's seen as problematic and needs to be shut down as soon as possible and what was once progressive is now considered the convention and you're shamed if you break out of it

4) misogyny and racism is coming back in style when a strong pro humanist/pro woman/pro everyone message was being pushed out back then

this is just my theory and i would like legit discussion about it. i think so many people complain about how things are compare to (imo) the peak ages of contemporary culture and which confuses other people because people have in mind the 30s/40s/50s and shit when someone talks about the past for some reason

No. 493051

I meant to post this in the tinfoil thread and now I can't delete it, what the fuck

Confession anons please ignore the tinfoil sperg in this thread

No. 493057

Yeah I know. I have low self-esteem…I get attracted to these types of guys pretty easily.

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No. 472051[Reply]

A Thread for former NEETs who escaped the NEET lifestyle and are tying to stay out and current NEETs who wish who want to get out of NEETdom
313 posts and 23 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 492957

Either don't go and wallow in self pity, loneliness and shame, like you seem to be already ready to do, or go and worst case scenario just spend the evening on your phone. As you said you will solve ansolutely none of your issues with anxiety and social interactions if you don't make efforts for it, and at least if you make the decision clearly you're not going to be thinking about what you're going to do during Christmas.

No. 492961

It sounds like not having friends causes you to feel a lot of shame and pain but please know that it's not inherently shameful. Also, you're not pathetic, you just seem lost which just happens to a lot of people. I don't know what causes you to put yourself down like that but you're fine, okay? You seem to have some demons and try really hard, too hard to please your parents and/or some figment of really fixed, unforgiving, harsh expectations. I'm sure there are reasons for this but fuck your social life doesn't affect them and concern them this much. You're more concerned with their opinion of you or their reaction than your own well-being. That's a red flag.

If it's a two hour drive and you're gonna feel trapped staying the night, don't go. Thank your old friend for the invitation and tell her you can't make it. Maybe even go as far as explaining why. These are just ideas and recommondations. You could say: I'd love to come and thank you so much for the invitation, it really means a lot but staying at an unfamiliar place all night would be very stressful and hard for me at the moment. I thought long and hard about it but I find it's best for me to skip this time. But I was really happy about your invitation. Or just say that sadly you can't make it but that you really tried (because you did) and that it means a lot. Or something in a similar vein if that helps.

It's healthy to wish for friendships and for improvement of struggles. But beating yourself up over it doesn't help. That's not healthy and most importantly, you don't deserve it! You deserve to be treated fairly with respect and patience and positivity.
pulling the sick card is perfectly fine and enough explanation. good call.

Even parental worrying can become overbearing and bad at some point even if the intent is well-meaning. Should your parents put you down about it or tease you or be overly disappointed in you and make you feel guilty, please view their behavior more critically.

Don't give up, I believe in you, anon.

No. 492968

>wallow in self pity, loneliness and shame
>worst case evening spent on your phone
I don't think you understand social anxiety, let alone how to fix it

No. 492972

I'm trying to recover but today I feel like such a fucking loser. It sucks.

No. 493103

recovery happens a day at a time, don't be so down on yourself anon.

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No. 470594[Reply]

Abbiamo visto thread brasiliani, lituani, francofoni ma ancora nessun italiano.
Cosa c'è di nuovo nella scena cosplay e mucche italiane? Che movimenti sorgono dalle fauci di quel gorgo che è la community italiana?
115 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 491487

Che roba

No. 491680

Suona da pseudo-intellettuale ma penso che quel loro modo di atteggiarsi è per comunicare fra di loro e ritrovarsi. Come i gufi
A lavoro ho incontrato gente di tutti i tipi e venne una coppia gay sui 50 molto composta, sposati e cattolici, che non avevano questo atteggiamento. E' una minuscola minoranza, solitamente più in là con l'età, e mi chiedo se subiscono discriminazione negli lgbt o simile.

No. 492524

Anon toscane state bene?

No. 492883

File: 1575990000773.png (630.18 KB, 667x458, frog.png)

>coppia gay sui 50 molto composta, sposati e cattolici
Ma nel cattolicesimo non si possono sposare i gay
E neppure le lesbiche

No. 492887

Postando la ranocchia, mi hai fatto ricordare che ODIO la comunità di artisti su youtube.
Nessuno può insegnare "l'arte", perché è una cosa molto soggettiva, trovare il proprio stile etc se si fanno fumetti (se si fa realistico invece ci si deve spaccare di tutorial), infatti tutti copiano e tracopiano da sta gente e fanno tutte le cose uguali
Tra l'altro Giada Romano tracopia da Mika Kawamura (Ufo Baby) e nessuno dice niente

File: 1575331315117.png (1.61 MB, 720x2127, 1572009090358.png)

No. 490034[Reply]

Discuss art and artists. Try to be at least a little intelligent.

- If you have beginner questions, want to know what art books to start with, or generally need to know how to begin with art, use these links

The fastest way to improve:
1. Perspective Made Easy by Ernest R. Norling
2. How to Draw by Scott Robertson
3. Framed Ink by Marcos Mateu-Mestre
4. Figure Drawing by Andrew Loomis
5. Figure Drawing by Anthony Rider
6. Drawing the Head and Hands by Andrew Loomis
7. Figure Drawing by Michael Hampton
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

No. 492838

What do you guys think of Huta Chan? Her art is fine, but it’s hella generic pretty girl. I also noticed her anatomy can be kinda wonky sometimes too, but that might just be because she doesn’t sketch stuff out

No. 492857

anon you're in the dead thread. there's a new one here:


new to this format :/(newfag)

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No. 476533[Reply]

~It's all made up stories for made up internet points~

Feel free to add your own milky subreddits and note this isn't just a man/trans hate thread, but more of a general reddit thread
1170 posts and 300 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No. 492879

> I was angry when she wouldn't do things that I liked in porn. I hid my excessive porn habit from her, because I knew she was insecure and wasn't okay with my consumption of it. I was shit at communicating and got cross at her waaaaay too much. I've only had the one girlfriend. It was a 6 year relationship, and that was 12 years ago. I've had a lot of time to think

kek die alone loser

No. 492895

>I was reminiscing about past romantic playthroughs, as I usually do because playing IRL in single player mode tends to keep you stuck on certain levels
jfc, are redditors always cringey or does being on that site make them this cringey

No. 492899

My autistic ex always related life to video game mechanics. He should post in that thread he got dumped for his mommy issues and love affair with the xbox

No. 492908

Made me cringe hard too

The thread at that point had turned into a serious discussion on codependency and he still can't just come out and say "I obsess over my exes and hate being single" No he has to dress it up all kooky

No. 493066

this makes me so happy.

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