I don't have BDD but I do have some serious insecurities and similar experiences to anons in this thread. I was a happy kid looks wise, since I grew up in the nineties before selfies and too much photoshop (I really feel for young girls growing up in today's selfie age) my only issue was that my legs were already hairy by the age of 10. I didn't think of how I looked otherwise, I was busy being a kid. by the time I started puberty things changed though, I developed severe acne. I had the worst acne in my year at school and it completely destroyed my self confidence. I also got hairier, so much hairier. I always say puberty didn't do shit for me other than give me hair and acne. I just became the ugly girl. I also hated the amount of moles on my skin and never showed by body. I hated being in my own skin, always wore long sleeves and never shorts even when it was really warm.
I basically lived this way until I was 17 and grew into my looks a little more, acne calmed down too but never cleared, even through my 20s. I've had acne for over half my life and in my early thirties now, due to a hormone issue I still have acne. it causes me such stress. every morning I dread looking in the mirror and seeing what new monstrosity may have appeared on my face. my hormone problem also causes hair growth on my face, I pluck my chin everyday and obsessively so. my chin is usually scabbed up and red raw from the skin getting picked during plucking and ingrown hairs. my sideburns grow in very dark and long too, I shave those. the fact that I have to shave my face daily kills me inside. I feel so unfeminine and disgusting especially with acne too and now, being in my early thirties, the signs of ageing setting in a little.
I'm unwell in other ways too so my overall appearanc is…. bad, most of the time. I look ill because I am ill. I find it hard to look at people sometimes for fear they will see stubble on my face or just look at my fine lines, dark undereyes and acne. I also get acne breakouts on my back which is stressful. all the stress only makes my acne worse and the depression too has meant I've lost most of my appetite and barely eat. I'm underweight, like a bag of bones and look so so unwell. I feel so unattractive and ugly. seeing pretty girls on television with their hairless faces, nice skin and glowing alive looking eyes makes me sad. I want to be pretty and to look bright and cheerful and attractive but I'm just… not.
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