>>493362A big root cause of the problem of policing lesbianism with a constant background paranoia of 'the male gaze' and 'trooniness', is the politicisation of sexuality- I understand that many here are radical feminists, but some, I feel, have gaslighted themselves into 'lesbianism' because it's 'based' and means they don't need men, and insist that fawning over their husbandos is normal lesbian behaviour- to have been exposed to such a narrative as a lesbian struggling to accept herself was really confusing- if I have not been able to have these feelings about the male form, am I not a lesbian like them? Am I just 'p0rn brained' if I like seeing 'scrotey' characters, and women in skimpy clothes sometimes, and not a real lesbian?
It's been really good to divorce sexuality from politics and what is acceptable. And to see this thread, to be allowed to express sexuality, and appreciation of the female form, is really refreshing. It actually felt homophobic to be told that's 'man brained, scrote brained' whatever- that was the core source of insecurity about my sexuality.
I think making this thread 'gold star' takes away from the focus of simply only liking women, and frames it as a reaction to pretenders and homophobic bisexual women- I think if we had stricter parametres, and maybe were in a less political space (this site is quite political) people would be less desperate to take on this lesbian label to be 'based', and there would be more focus on homosexual women just chatting about life and s*x and whatever, having fun. I want to see these threads become silly again. That's all.
Also, to the bi women that insist on using the label- there is nothing wrong with you if you like men. You don't have to be ashamed, and you can still choose who you date based on your political alignments- it's just that, when you use a label that's not yours, you confuse people who actually belong in that group, and people may find is less believable that a woman is a homosexual, when they see a 'lesbian' thirst over men or switch sides back to men- that could really hurt the community. I really hope you guys can accept yourselves in peace, and love yourselves as you are, there is nothing wrong with you (bi women), I just hope you can label yourselves more honestly.