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Discuss family planning, birth, pregnancy, conception, fertility, and any other baby-related topic in this thread.Refrain from posting if you dislike children or are childfree.
Same except I'm 30. I've been with my bf for 4 years and we absolutely can't afford a kid. I don't see how we could make it work at this point. My abusive
ex didn't want kids at all, so from that relationship I already kind of resigned myself to the possibility of it never happening… But sometimes it makes me so depressed I just cry. If this doesn't happen for me I know I will mourn it in my later years.
I'm 30 and planning to become a mother in 3 years, it's definitely difficult. I'm trying to adjust my life to make it easier for me when the time does come around to getting pregnant. My bf and I are making it an effort to start a savings fund. I've been fucked over hardcore for not having credit and I'm currently finding myself penny pinching as someone who makes about $10 more than liveable wage. I don't have a college degree, but this was a career I started in 7 years ago and getting out of it when I have a child is going to reduce my funds. I know I can't reach out for government assistance, that's a trap and will fuck me over. I can only think of passive income, I'm figuring out what I can start doing now and build up from there.
My best friend also wants to become a mother and she wants to so badly not work at all and it upsets me because it doesn't seem realistic and it's going to disappoint her. Like, I've discussed this with my bf and he says the nuclear family structure doesn't exist. Corporations and the government make it impossible for a single source of income to uphold a family. You have to be lucky to make more than $25+ an hour by yourself. The majority of people in my country can barely make $15 and on top of that less than 1/3 of my countries population has a college degree, and don't get me started on paying off debt from people who've completed AND attempted but dropped out of higher education.
I turn into an anarchist when thinking about becoming a mother, the government doesn't want us to have children, they hate children because they're deemed nonproductive members of society. School sets children up to get used to the corporate world and it's meaningless hoops instead of learning to live independently and sustain a healthy and less stressful life. Young adults now just turn to expensive services to do simple things for them because they were never taught and it's too scary and stressful for them to learn how to do these things now or they simply don't realize it's possible to do it by yourself or they don't have the time because of the corporate world. Many parents can't be there for their children because of funds. They send them off to daycare facilities and right there majority of one of your paychecks is gone. It's such a trap. The world we live in doesn't welcome children and allow them to be raised by their parents, only strangers. This is why I'm working so hard now, because I want to see my children, I want to be there. I want my bf to be there too. I want to homeschool them and teach them they can achieve many things using the tools of their own bodies. I want to give them beautiful memories of the outdoors and having time spent with my and my bf and their friends and family. I don't want them to be sucked into this corporate world filled with debt and no time for leisure. It's misrable. Truthfully, I can't change everything around me, but I want to have my child to also hold hope and have optimism for the world around them.
Agree 100%, especially with the last paragraph. It is truly sickening. In about 40 years there will be a panic about our aging population (in the US at least) just like there was in Japan. It's completely preventable but they will do nothing to improve matters.
My goal is to have a kid by 35. My boyfriend wants 2 but that's a pipe dream lol. Ideally I would like to take the first year off from work. I know it will be hard but to me it's worth the peace of mind. I'm generally an anxious and untrusting person, and can imagine that I'd only be worse when it comes to strangers watching my infant.
It's either this or they end up having kids way too late and then can't go have fun at birthday parties, trampolines, running around, etc because they're in their 50s/60s with teenagers >Inb4 the "just take care of yourself dumbass" anon chimes in
Unless you're an Olympian or something, the average person in their 50s and 60s isn't going to be able to keep up with high energy ass children, just because you're not literally disabled doesn't mean you'll have the time or energy to want to deal with kids and teens
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Is it just me or do doctors seem to use "failure to thrive" loosely as fuck now? I thought it was just me, from about 0-3 months my ped always kept pressing me claiming my baby wasnt gaining enough when she reached her birth weight before 2 weeks and doubled birth weight at 4 months, she has a double chin and was super chunky and it's like ??? Are you looking at the same baby? Anyway ped would kept pressing me to feed her 2+ oz after a full feed every 2 hours, which made no sense because she was already getting what she needed from breast. Today I saw a TikTok of women showing off these massive chunky baby claiming they had failure to thrive but like wtf? These babies aren't starving to death anytime soon. Is this just a way to push formula or something?
I feel like not enough people take up with Medicaid, it's quite easy to get and from my understanding , all children get it in most states,
you can get it for your children even if you make over the minimum requirement. >Inb4 how dare you rely on government money
Government programs are literally made to help us, only Americans would suggest something as ridiculous as paying taxes just to NOT take advantage of some of the couple of programs to help themselves
You're totally correct though, my MIL is a hoarder and kept telling me and husband to constantly buy shit as her best advice to his, "go buy swaddles, not 2 or 3 but 7 or 8, go buy 50+ outfits, etc". The best advice I ever received is to buy the basics (bassinet, diapers, changing station, etc) and THEN just buy what baby needs from there. If baby doesn't like swaddles hey at least you don't have millions sitting around, if you just end up EBF at least there's not a bunch of random bottles to clean, obviously just buy a single item that may be in needed in an emergency such as a single pack of bottles or swaddle because you don't want to be stuck at 3 AM and you're not producing enough milk to keep baby satisfied or they need a swaddle or something
I feel the same but you have to understand it's only like this in LONG term ones, like 4-8+ hours daily. College childcare involves only a 1-2 hours at a time unless you really jam packed your schedule, plus they're cleaner and better trained I feel and simply not around your child enough to have a long term influence. Trusted family members and friends would obviously be the first option but it seems like most American family offer shit tier support systems or they'll expect almost twice the pay of a daycare worker to watch your kids even for an hour at a time.
Cheaper facilities meant for full term child care are shit though, some of them are so expensive parents are actually losing money trying to put their children through it. I was in daycare and I resent it since daycare workers often act like children themselves
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>2 years have passed since we started trying for a baby
>blood tests are normal, pap smear is normal, hubby's sperm count seems normal
At this point I'm convinced my uterus is full of bees or something like that.
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so i purchased an amazon c shaped pregnancy pillow a couple of weeks ago but absolutely hated it. it was so bulky and took up like 3/4 of my bed, plus it got flat after a week of use. i really wanted a bbhugme but the price is insane to get it shipped to canada. i luckily found it on fb marketplace the other day for $50, and omg. it is so worth the money. you can adjust the firmness and position in it so many ways. i highly recommend it! try to find it second hand if you can
I hope this is the right thread to ask, apologies if it isn't. But did any of the moms here(who are happy to be moms and enjoy having a child/children) like the idea of pregnancy but were ambivalent or uninterested in the actual having a kid part, prior to becoming a mother?
I'm 30, married, we're both on board to start trying in 3-5 years, will get some tests done to make sure our junk is functional before that, yadda yadda. Not too worried since my mom had kids easily in her late 30's. And while I don't mind the idea of pregnancy itself now, I kind of like it even as I get older, I can't picture myself as a mother to a child anymore than I could at 20. I don't dislike kids, but I don't really like them either. I have no maternal instinct whatsoever. Whenever I have to hold a baby niece/nephew or a friend's kid the only thing on my mind is "oh my god don't drop it". Sorry if this is rambling, but did any of you feel the same way, but got the maternal feelings when your own child was born? Every happy mom I know irl said she always had strong maternal instincts and desired to be a mother.
Some women's bodies simply reacts poorly to toxic
men in their life. Plenty of women in relationships with shitty men often start getting health problems from stress and there's often different omens that you need to catch, infertility being one of them. Some women are simply blessed with their bodies being able to reject shitty men from their life