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Read the post-Hellweek thread for Hellweek statistics, Q&A and upcoming updates

File: 1674521987193.jpg (2.49 MB, 3923x5884, Baby Q&A.jpg)

No. 310088

Discuss family planning, birth, pregnancy, conception, fertility, and any other baby-related topic in this thread.
Refrain from posting if you dislike children or are childfree.
Old threads

No. 310091

i'm turning 28 soon and i've always wanted to be a young mother. i'm still in uni though, so getting pregnant would absolutely ruin my life. i wish we had a better support system. i don't want to sound like a tradwife, but the modern world makes it very difficult for the majority of people to start a family. too many rules, less chances, the need to be educated and you must be motivated to work your ass off and not expect help from anyone in the system

No. 310093

Holy fuck, I related to this..I'm trying to pay off as much of my school debt as I can and work on my career but I'd also love to be a mom. Idk. It feels like everything's stacked against us.

No. 310124

Same except I'm 30. I've been with my bf for 4 years and we absolutely can't afford a kid. I don't see how we could make it work at this point. My abusive ex didn't want kids at all, so from that relationship I already kind of resigned myself to the possibility of it never happening… But sometimes it makes me so depressed I just cry. If this doesn't happen for me I know I will mourn it in my later years.

No. 310149

I'm 30 and planning to become a mother in 3 years, it's definitely difficult. I'm trying to adjust my life to make it easier for me when the time does come around to getting pregnant. My bf and I are making it an effort to start a savings fund. I've been fucked over hardcore for not having credit and I'm currently finding myself penny pinching as someone who makes about $10 more than liveable wage. I don't have a college degree, but this was a career I started in 7 years ago and getting out of it when I have a child is going to reduce my funds. I know I can't reach out for government assistance, that's a trap and will fuck me over. I can only think of passive income, I'm figuring out what I can start doing now and build up from there.
My best friend also wants to become a mother and she wants to so badly not work at all and it upsets me because it doesn't seem realistic and it's going to disappoint her. Like, I've discussed this with my bf and he says the nuclear family structure doesn't exist. Corporations and the government make it impossible for a single source of income to uphold a family. You have to be lucky to make more than $25+ an hour by yourself. The majority of people in my country can barely make $15 and on top of that less than 1/3 of my countries population has a college degree, and don't get me started on paying off debt from people who've completed AND attempted but dropped out of higher education.
I turn into an anarchist when thinking about becoming a mother, the government doesn't want us to have children, they hate children because they're deemed nonproductive members of society. School sets children up to get used to the corporate world and it's meaningless hoops instead of learning to live independently and sustain a healthy and less stressful life. Young adults now just turn to expensive services to do simple things for them because they were never taught and it's too scary and stressful for them to learn how to do these things now or they simply don't realize it's possible to do it by yourself or they don't have the time because of the corporate world. Many parents can't be there for their children because of funds. They send them off to daycare facilities and right there majority of one of your paychecks is gone. It's such a trap. The world we live in doesn't welcome children and allow them to be raised by their parents, only strangers. This is why I'm working so hard now, because I want to see my children, I want to be there. I want my bf to be there too. I want to homeschool them and teach them they can achieve many things using the tools of their own bodies. I want to give them beautiful memories of the outdoors and having time spent with my and my bf and their friends and family. I don't want them to be sucked into this corporate world filled with debt and no time for leisure. It's misrable. Truthfully, I can't change everything around me, but I want to have my child to also hold hope and have optimism for the world around them.

No. 310206

Agree 100%, especially with the last paragraph. It is truly sickening. In about 40 years there will be a panic about our aging population (in the US at least) just like there was in Japan. It's completely preventable but they will do nothing to improve matters.
My goal is to have a kid by 35. My boyfriend wants 2 but that's a pipe dream lol. Ideally I would like to take the first year off from work. I know it will be hard but to me it's worth the peace of mind. I'm generally an anxious and untrusting person, and can imagine that I'd only be worse when it comes to strangers watching my infant.

No. 310270

I had all my kids during college and medical school, it's hard, but not impossible. You can also take advantage of childcare on campus

No. 310336

I'm six months pregnant and my esophagus constantly feels like there is a brick stuck in it. It's not reflux, so none of the reflux fixes help. Has anyone had this and found ways to make it better?

No. 310359

I took tums and it helped

No. 310372

>My best friend also wants to become a mother and she wants to so badly not work at all and it upsets me because it doesn't seem realistic and it's going to disappoint her. Like, I've discussed this with my bf and he says the nuclear family structure doesn't exist. Corporations and the government make it impossible for a single source of income to uphold a family.
That's not true at all. You just need a man who makes enough money and to not live in a shitty expensive city. Plenty of women are still stay at home moms and plenty of men can support a family on their income. Most women chose to work because they dont like the idea of being financially dependent on a man (what if you break up and have no work experience etc.) but it's not impossible.

No. 310387

Just wanted to post about my experience with pregnancy and PCOS to give fellow PCOS nonnas hope. I was diagnosed with PCOS in my early twenties and told by my doctor I would have a hard time getting pregnant and maybe not be able to get pregnant at all and that it's really important for me to eat healthy and remain at a normal weight (I used to be quite overweight which I think caused my PCOS and then lost weight). After eating healthy and staying at a normal weight all throughout my 20s I finally wanted to get pregnant at 29 and I was again told that it would be hard etc. But I got pregnant on my second cycle trying! Now I have a healthy baby and at my last check-up my doctor looked at my ovaries and said that they look healthy and normal!! They definitely didn't before. I was so shocked to hear this good news. It really really pays off if you work hard to keep the weight off and eat healthy. I still have irregular periods and some other symptoms since you can never get fully rid of it but I am so happy my body was able to heal itself and I have my healthy baby.

Don't let people convince you that PCOS means you have to be fat forever and can't have kids, I read that bullshit so many times from so many women on reddit etc who use it as an excuse. You can do it too!

No. 310402

I feel like there's a lot of misdiagnosed PCOS because I was diagnosed with it and had zero troubles conceiving, I also was skinny my entire life. My only symptom was irregular and heavy periods. Like most of women's health there's a lot of misconceptions and doctors will lazily treat it so you have you advocate for yourself

No. 310403

This so much + I can only speak for myself but most of the people I've seen who struggle with finances often bring it up on themselves. I only knew like 3 families who struggled with finances, one of them was a single mom who went on vacations frequently claiming she didn't get paid enough, another would spend every last penny on designer shit while begging for money from groceries, and the last one kept having kid after kid and had like 6+ pets while owning project cars and claiming they could barely scrape by. Of course this is all anecdotes and I don't doubt there are families truly struggling regardless of what they do, but I do want to open the question of how many families are truly struggling with finances vs how many families are just struggling with consumerism because it's not fair to families who actually need support and money but just look like trashy people who can't budget

No. 310486

my husband and I are currently in grad school and I'm pregnant. it can work. there's family housing and free daycare. women can get stuck in this loop of waiting for the "right time" until before they know it they're 38 and wishing they had children.

No. 310515

so much this. I have a 4 month old baby and honestly it's really not that much. Usually you get clothes gifted, but if you buy them second hand people give them away for so cheap as well. You could do cloth diapers and wash them in the sink instead of wet wipes to save money and as long as they're breastfed its basically no extra money spent as well. You could even skip the money for a crib and just co-sleep or put a little mattress on the floor. A sling carrier instead of a stroller. And once they start eating solids, they barely eat either. You can more than satisfy a toddler with a boiled egg and some yogurt for dinner for example. Don't fall for the lies that you need a huge amount of money!

No. 310521

It's either this or they end up having kids way too late and then can't go have fun at birthday parties, trampolines, running around, etc because they're in their 50s/60s with teenagers
>Inb4 the "just take care of yourself dumbass" anon chimes in
Unless you're an Olympian or something, the average person in their 50s and 60s isn't going to be able to keep up with high energy ass children, just because you're not literally disabled doesn't mean you'll have the time or energy to want to deal with kids and teens

No. 310522

not everyone wants to hand their kids over to strangers tho

No. 310540

I said the same thing until my baby was about 7 months old and I was tired of putting my education off. Anyone who knows anything about university knows that even "full time" you only go less than 6 hours a week, if you find a reliable childcare center you will be fine, if your baby was in the nursery or NICU you probably already "handed your child to strangers" anyway. Women's lives don't end just because they have a baby, sorry most women are still allowed to have goals and interests after they have kids

No. 310541

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Is it just me or do doctors seem to use "failure to thrive" loosely as fuck now? I thought it was just me, from about 0-3 months my ped always kept pressing me claiming my baby wasnt gaining enough when she reached her birth weight before 2 weeks and doubled birth weight at 4 months, she has a double chin and was super chunky and it's like ??? Are you looking at the same baby? Anyway ped would kept pressing me to feed her 2+ oz after a full feed every 2 hours, which made no sense because she was already getting what she needed from breast. Today I saw a TikTok of women showing off these massive chunky baby claiming they had failure to thrive but like wtf? These babies aren't starving to death anytime soon. Is this just a way to push formula or something?

No. 310573

The "jumbo sized" piece of shit made me mad. Ugly AND will kill you during birth. I'd drop it on its head if it were mine(bait)

No. 310577

I feel like gear isa minor/optional expense. The main expense my husband and I figured was insurance. It's an extra $300 each month if we don't get anything fancy. There's also the loss of income unless you pay for childcare instead.

No. 310579

I feel like not enough people take up with Medicaid, it's quite easy to get and from my understanding , all children get it in most states,
you can get it for your children even if you make over the minimum requirement.
>Inb4 how dare you rely on government money
Government programs are literally made to help us, only Americans would suggest something as ridiculous as paying taxes just to NOT take advantage of some of the couple of programs to help themselves

You're totally correct though, my MIL is a hoarder and kept telling me and husband to constantly buy shit as her best advice to his, "go buy swaddles, not 2 or 3 but 7 or 8, go buy 50+ outfits, etc". The best advice I ever received is to buy the basics (bassinet, diapers, changing station, etc) and THEN just buy what baby needs from there. If baby doesn't like swaddles hey at least you don't have millions sitting around, if you just end up EBF at least there's not a bunch of random bottles to clean, obviously just buy a single item that may be in needed in an emergency such as a single pack of bottles or swaddle because you don't want to be stuck at 3 AM and you're not producing enough milk to keep baby satisfied or they need a swaddle or something

No. 310580

Depends on the woman, I knew women that struggled with delivering preemies but I'm tiny (5'0) and most women in my family are and had no issue delivering 10+, 24in+ babies kek. The issues are that picking up baby postpartum is a pain, they won't fit into newborn clothes or diapers which plenty of folks bought tons of and it's going to eat a lot

No. 310594

the option is there though. i will be staying at home for the first couple of years but i love that i have the option to drop my child off at a daycare that is in my building if i have a job interview i want to attend, or anything else really. and if you're in uni or grad school, you would only drop them off for a couple of hours a day.

No. 310597

This. My baby was in the NICU for her first few months of life so "leaving baby with strangers" doesn't phase me considering the "strangers" are individuals highly trained in childcare. Obviously it's good to do research on the facilities since you can ask about vaccine requirements, how well they background check, etc. I feel like it's easy to judge daycare moms until you're put into the situation where you may need daycare

No. 310603

This. While I was pregnant I couldn't imagine being separated from my baby, and after she was born I couldn't consider it at all. I worked at a daycare/preschool when I was younger, a nice middle class one, and I was horrified with how everything is run and the way teachers and staff blatantly bully or make fun of children. My field of work also made me interact with other daycare and preschool facilities in a research capacity and it seems to all be the same except the very high end ones. I know many mothers do not have a choice though.

No. 310612

I feel the same but you have to understand it's only like this in LONG term ones, like 4-8+ hours daily. College childcare involves only a 1-2 hours at a time unless you really jam packed your schedule, plus they're cleaner and better trained I feel and simply not around your child enough to have a long term influence. Trusted family members and friends would obviously be the first option but it seems like most American family offer shit tier support systems or they'll expect almost twice the pay of a daycare worker to watch your kids even for an hour at a time.

Cheaper facilities meant for full term child care are shit though, some of them are so expensive parents are actually losing money trying to put their children through it. I was in daycare and I resent it since daycare workers often act like children themselves

No. 310625

File: 1674978165804.jpg (61.87 KB, 550x550, angry-derpina-fffuuu-internet-…)

>2 years have passed since we started trying for a baby

>still nothing

>blood tests are normal, pap smear is normal, hubby's sperm count seems normal

At this point I'm convinced my uterus is full of bees or something like that.

No. 310631

Not to sound crazy or anything but if there's no known internal issues and you just can't seem to get pregnant it's often a sign of something deeper. My first marriage when we started ttc everything seemed good but it just didn't work, turned out he was a porn addict in multiple online relationships with teenagers. Second marriage I got pregnant instantly and everything is great

No. 310642

I've had vulvodynia since late 2021 and I'm afraid I'll never be able to have kids now. I'm 28 and wanted to have them in my early 30s so there's not much time until that. But I just got diagnosed so hopefully I'll be able to find a cure and go back to normal.

No. 310669

Do you use lube? Some lubricants can slow down the sperm so much that it can't reach the egg. They make special fertility lube that is easier for them to pass through. I also used evening primrose oil, it makes your cervical mucus more plentiful and thinner to create a perfect environment for sperm to pass through.

No. 311019

I don’t think my first trimester symptoms are any worse the second time around, but I have seriously lost all patience for it. Not sure if I’ll end up making it to baby #3 after this. It’s been less than a week of the all-day morning sickness, and I’m ready to start tearing my hair out. I cannot believe it’s going to be another 8 weeks of this shit. I’m so mad.

No. 311022

? What does “look who’s talking now” mean…

No. 311024

I've been trying to figure out too anon. I guess the baby?

No. 311025

File: 1675253865121.jpg (23.51 KB, 258x386, Lookwhotalkinnow.jpg)

No. 311302

I am over 4 months postpartum and I am having period-like bleeding every other week. I literally get a 1 week break until I have another "period" for like 5 days. I have already had two ultrasounds and one HCG test and there is nothing going on in my uterus, no left-over placenta or anything. I am exclusively breastfeeding. I can't find anything online about people experiencing this at all. My doctor just wants to put me on the pill but I don't want that while I am breastfeeding.

What the fuck? I hate my life so much right now.

No. 311353

I'm 3 months postpartum and literally losing all of my hair. It's coming out in handfuls constantly unless I keep my hair in a loose ponytail. This has been going on for about a week and my hair already feels much lighter when I hold it. I'm seeing a lot of patchyness on my scalp and it looks like my hair is receding. Im EBF. Is this normal and how long should I expect this to continue? Do I need to go to a doctor?

No. 311386

That's normal sadly and your hair will eventually return to normal.

No. 311388

For me, the hair loss started 6mo postpartum and lasted for about 6 weeks. Lost about a cm around my entire hairline, my “sideburns”, and about 70% of the volume in triangular sections near my temples. It looked and felt like a lot to me, but wasn’t immediately obvious to anyone else apparently. It’s been about 16 months since then and everything has come back, although some of the stubborn areas are only at about 10cm of growth. Like you, I was seriously freaked out and considering consulting a doctor, but I guess some of us just draw the short straw on those hormones. It’s fairly normal.

No. 311410

Been half ass trying for a baby after my miscarriage, but a part of me feels exhausted and dread the thought of becoming pregnant again. It was a rough 3 months of miscarriage healing and the 3 months I was pregnant was so miserable I hated every moment of it. The whole ordeal was traumatic and I felt like cattle constantly undressing for my doctors to probe me for every visit. I feel less human now than before and im depressed for my loss. I guess nobody really talks about the sad parts of pregnancy.

No. 311412

File: 1675540280972.jpeg (168.4 KB, 1283x799, E5C9B849-C56C-4393-A2DC-102426…)

so i purchased an amazon c shaped pregnancy pillow a couple of weeks ago but absolutely hated it. it was so bulky and took up like 3/4 of my bed, plus it got flat after a week of use. i really wanted a bbhugme but the price is insane to get it shipped to canada. i luckily found it on fb marketplace the other day for $50, and omg. it is so worth the money. you can adjust the firmness and position in it so many ways. i highly recommend it! try to find it second hand if you can

No. 311413

I had similar but I also had cancer before pregnancy. I just took fish oil and vitamins and it helped tons

No. 311478

Anon lmaooooooooooooo I love it thank you

No. 311743

Acid reflux and heartburn will be my villain origin story.

No. 311751

>My first marriage when we started ttc everything seemed good but it just didn't work, turned out he was a porn addict in multiple online relationships with teenagers

Um, what. There's men who are married with children and still do those things

No. 311815

I hope this is the right thread to ask, apologies if it isn't. But did any of the moms here(who are happy to be moms and enjoy having a child/children) like the idea of pregnancy but were ambivalent or uninterested in the actual having a kid part, prior to becoming a mother?

I'm 30, married, we're both on board to start trying in 3-5 years, will get some tests done to make sure our junk is functional before that, yadda yadda. Not too worried since my mom had kids easily in her late 30's. And while I don't mind the idea of pregnancy itself now, I kind of like it even as I get older, I can't picture myself as a mother to a child anymore than I could at 20. I don't dislike kids, but I don't really like them either. I have no maternal instinct whatsoever. Whenever I have to hold a baby niece/nephew or a friend's kid the only thing on my mind is "oh my god don't drop it". Sorry if this is rambling, but did any of you feel the same way, but got the maternal feelings when your own child was born? Every happy mom I know irl said she always had strong maternal instincts and desired to be a mother.

No. 311857

Some women's bodies simply reacts poorly to toxic men in their life. Plenty of women in relationships with shitty men often start getting health problems from stress and there's often different omens that you need to catch, infertility being one of them. Some women are simply blessed with their bodies being able to reject shitty men from their life

No. 311865

Nta but masturbating too much means lesser sperm in one ejaculation for a man so porn addicts are more likely to be infertile.

No. 311899

Preemie mom here - my baby is getting her NG tube out next month woo

No. 311918

Congratulations! Hope your baby continues to be in good health and that you're healing well from birth.

No. 312087

>TikTok account about mom with multiple kids with genetic deformities
>Go to account
>Her husband is a decade older than her
Can we please make age gap couples illegal to reproduce? Thank you

No. 312088

It depends. I met very little people who can talk the talk and walk the walk. I knew so many people who loved the idea of having kids but ended up being miserable with children, I also knew people who were indifferent about having kids that ended up loving parenthood. They key is patience and acceptance with children

No. 312095

I wish I was a cavewoman pregnant and foraging for berries while my mate risks his life hunting a wild bison

No. 312106

We don't qualify for Medicaid or any marketplace subsidies.

No. 312130

Medicaid is one of the easiest government programs to get since they never investigate "fraud" unless someone is out to get you and knows you have Medicaid for some weird reason. Just apply for it anyway and don't report your income. I got it and knew multiple people that received Medicaid even when making well over the amount required.

No. 312141

How much does having a light period actually affect your chance of conceiving? I keep seeing articles and Youtube videos saying that you need a thick lining to get pregnant and having a scanty period affects your fertility, but most of these opinions are based on studies regarding women who need IVF. I'm stressed as hell that I won't be able to conceive because my periods have been really light since going off of the pill 4 years ago. I use a cup so its easy to measure the loss, and its consistently only 15-20mL a cycle. I used to have much heavier periods as a teen but they kind of dropped off as I aged. My cycle is regular, my BBT is showing that I'm ovulating and have a sustained rise in the luteal phase, but my periods are light and I'm worried I have low estrogen or that my uterus is fucked from the hormonal bc. I've had one chemical pregnancy but wasn't actively trying to get pregnant at the time, so I guess time will tell now that hubby and I are trying to conceive. Is there anything I can actually do about it apart from the usual exercise/eat healthy advice and seeing a doctor, which I will do if we struggle.

No. 312147

I've had a heavy period all my life until I changed my diet and started taking herbal supplements, weirdly enough the first time I had a light and watery period was when I got pregnant immediately after the first light period I had. My best advice (outside of the usual) is to start TTC a little before you actually do want to get pregnant since sperm helps you become more fertile. There's no way to predict when you'll actually become pregnant but some women just start trying too late and have babies way later than when they wanted because they also didn't account for the time it takes to TTC + length of pregnancy

No. 312168

Most parents will tell you that it's different when it's YOUR kid. I was never crazy about kids until I had my own, once I was pregnant was the only time I started watching baby videos and thinking they are cute and being excited for my own. It takes a little time to get used to being a mom and getting those maternal feelings. People don't tell you this but when your baby is born that is a whole ass person that you don't know at all and suddenly lives in your house, that overwhelming love you feel for your children comes over time.

No. 312214

How do you manage hormones and get them to regulate faster? I'm 8 months PP and feel so fucking bloated and keep breaking out

No. 312220

What's the fastest way to get supply up? I pump and power pump every day but can barely get out more than 2 oz per feed

No. 312224

Nonnas I’m getting kinda nervous. I’m in my late twenties now and still single. Thought the last moid was the one but he chickened out. I don’t want to have children soon but I want to build a solid relationship with someone first and I feel like time is running out. I’d always thought I’d have kids early thirties but the amount of vetting I want to do before shacking up with a score might push that timeline back even further. My family has historically had fertility issues and I’m so nervous about my biological clock. Is there a way to test my fertility? Should I start freezing my eggs?

No. 312227

I’m in the same boat and I really think that managing stress and eating well/hydrating is the best option we’ve got. I recentlystarted taking magnesium biglycinate supplements to help with stress. That specific form of magnesium is apparently best absorbed rather than other kinds. Good luck my heart goes out to you these hormones are still a bitch

No. 312235

Egg freezing is expensive af but now is probably cheaper than older because the statistics on how many harvests it takes to get enough eggs is better when younger. The benefit I've seen for other women is that they relax about finding a moid and that means they keep their standards up, whereas I've seen women in their 30s really fucking settle for less than they deserve because their desperation for a family makes them far too optimistic about men's capacity for character growth. Don't take a fixer-upper, it's not worth it.

No. 312285

Seconding this, is there a test for fertility?

No. 312772

Nigel and I spent about 2 hours last night coming up with baby names. I'm certain we decided on a name if we'd have a girl. Looking for a decen and unique boy's name is difficult. We're turning to biblical and Egyptian origin names.
I'm not pregnant yet, but it's so fun to plan these things. I know we'd still have a few months to plan before the baby even comes, but it's exciting being on the same page when it comes to names.

No. 312785

There's AMH(anti-mullerian hormone) testing, which gauges your ovarian reserve, but that just tells you how many eggs you have left–unless you're in your 40's, this is typically not an issue. It's usually pretty cheap as far as medical tests go, but is still about $150 where I am at least. But that's the only test I know of to "test" your fertility potential without actually trying to conceive.

No. 312932

>baby needs special formula for her NG tube/acid reflux
>If I'm feeding by mouth I can only fix rice/breast milk mix but can't put rice and breast milk down the tube so I'm forced to use formula for tube feedings
>WoW fOrMuLa Is So ToXiC, BrEaSt MiLk iS pErFeCt FoR bAbY
I'm tired of mom groups, everything we do is wrong even when we have no choice. The worst ones are the anti pacifier and swaddling Karen's because "you should just be responding to your babies needs" like okay you try staying awake for 3 days straight because of babies colic or PURPLE crying without losing your mind due to sleep deprivation and PPA and tell me how much you hate pacifiers and swaddles. I bet 10-1 they're all privileged white women who get nanny's or other family members and don't truly grasp what it's like to deal with an extremely fussy baby

No. 313005

that’s cute nona! i have a note in my phone with baby names that i’ve added to over the years. i’m actually pregnant now and a couple of the names are in the running. we are basically going to base the name on the patron saint of the day baby is born, but we have backups just in case it doesn’t feel right lol

No. 313300

There's Modern Fertility, but if you are on bc they don't test for much. My test also came out as high prolactin even on the retest. I got pregnant the month my iud was removed. AMH can tell you something, but you'd be best off getting tested every year or so to monitor the change in AMH.

No. 313410

Nutritionwise, its true that breastmilk is better than formula though. If your body can't produce, you could try looking into buying some from milkbanks. Good luck!

No. 313412

pursuing your own goals and interests made your baby unable to have a stable foundation to its mother and it will likely not be able to have and be able follow its own goals in the future. Neglect in early childhood really fucks your mind. Why do Americans romanticize "the hustle" so much and are unable to sacrifice anything in order to give everything to make their bloodline prosper? Weak imo. Infancy is so short, imagine being in such a rush just to chase money that you can't focus and be there for your helpless little baby for lets say 1 or 2 years when they're at least able to speak and tell you what they were doing during your time away.

No. 313470

Sorry anon, I'm going to listen to actual doctors that made my baby stop puking up entire feeds when multiple rounds of medications wasn't working to keep my milk down (that was exclusively breast milk btw) since rice formula is the only thing that made her stop puking. If you have some magical spell to make my baby stop puking up entire feeds sure step in

No. 313471

>Putting an almost toddler in daycare for 6 hours weekly is "neglect that fucks with its mind"
This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, having a baby doesn't ruin your life. 6 hours a week for classes would barely even be classified as neglect and vast majority of parents let their family watch newborns for same amounts for time anyway. Hell doulas come in for newborns to watch for 5 hours so mom can rest. Multiple studies have been shown parents spend more time with their children than any other time in the past decades. Literally less than an hour daily is FAR far from "neglect enough to ruin a child's mind" get a fucking grip

No. 313474

Anon is likely just a moid who, quite literally, thinks mums need to be GLUED to their children (I've actually seen moids claim a mom is neglecting her child because dad held it while she ate at Christmas) or they're upset because they didn't do anything productive when dad, other family members, or whoever else is helping with baby, that they didn't bother doing anything productive. It's completely normal and healthy for other people to watch the baby. It's no different from family members coming over to watch the baby for a couple of hours so parents can sleep, eat, etc. Why is it suddenly bad because mom is doing something good with her life?

No. 313521

>make their bloodline prosper
kek the obvious deranged moidspeak. I'd say "why do they even try?" but clearly there are those of us dumb enough to not recognize scrote bait a la >>313471

No. 313601

Eating oatmeal every day and taking sunflower lecithin and fenugreek supplements helped me build up more milk supply.

No. 313604

The things that some people consider child neglect is so bizarre to me. My baby was in the NICU for the first few months of her life where I practically lived in the NICU as well and so many staff, usually women, considered the most bizarre things neglect to me. First they would bash me and claim I was neglectful for leaving to get food or to go home, even though I saw all the other parents basically visit their babies once a day or so. Then didn't tell me I could have food sent to my room while breastfeeding, then before my daughter has a feeding tube put in due to oral adversion, every second of the day I had to spend feeding her and I stayed up for like 48 hours straight not even a wink of sleep. When I pointed this out to a social worker she said "it's normal for that" like no, no the fuck it's not normal to literally hallucinate from lack of sleep. It's like being human suddenly makes someone the worst mom on planet. I need sleep and let baby be watched by dad/other family members/doula/etc? Bad mom. I need to put her down for a second to eat? Damn I'm starving my baby. Baby starts crying because I needed to take a few extra seconds to do proper postpartum care? Oh no baby is crying for mom now narcissistic am I?. Meanwhile dad gets a dad of the year award for taking care of his baby. I'd give anything to be born as a man, it's truly life on easy mode

No. 313609

>Explains in detail why baby cant have any breastmilk currently
>Accuses anon of not producing enough and tells her to get some from milk banks
Omfl I can't with you retards. What's even the point of explaining things if you can't be bothered to take a second to read the entire post, and then trying to give medical advice based on a post you didn't even read fully? The audacity

No. 313610

There's one anon who has never had a baby, pregnancy or probably even sex and she(he?) keeps making posts giving anons super bad advices centered around mainly pregnancy or childcare. That anon is probably reading this comment of mine as well, if you are, please stop.

No. 313658

>extremely sad baby story where the baby ends up dying of a rare condition at 6 months old, no known previous genetic history
>Goes to couples page
>Wife brags about her husband being 9 yrs older than her
Ladies PLEASE for the sake of your baby, do NOT reproduce with old men. Christ's sake

No. 313731

This thread and the past few ones is a hotspot for bad advice kek
>Oh your baby can't have breast milk? Obviously you're not producing enough go buy breast milk
>Can't afford kids? Just dig yourself into credit card debt
>Poor? Just have kids! They're not that expensive
>Have kids too late? Just take care of yourself
It feels extremely creepy and predatory, and it seems super unfair young moms (who are now on their own more than ever thanks to our shitty gen x and boomer parents) that we get terrible and harmful guidance and are lost when most of us can't rely on anybody but ourselves. The fact that family coming to help out with a newborn is a privilege for most young moms instead of the norm is baffling. I just feel so cheated that I was basically camping in bed with tons of water, diapers and baby clothes due to not being able to walk around due to pain since I was all on my own but it's basically the bare minimum for parents to even stay and help the first couple of days?? Fuck me

No. 314011

When does "pregnancy brain" stop? I feel like I am legit retarded now. I was in law school before becoming pregnant and 5 months postpartum I can barely turn on the coffee machine that I use every day in the morning. I constantly forget what I was doing. I am bilingual and right now I cant speak either language correctly. I am still having very interrupted and bad sleep due to breastfeeding and baby not sleeping through the night yet so I think this long time of bad sleep has fried my brain completely. I guess it will recover once I get normal amounts of sleep again? Which will be when the kids are in college I suppose. Nobody told me this would happen. Am I alone in feeling like a retard?

No. 314052

I'm almost 9 months PP and it's almost completely away for me even though I went completely stupid while pregnant. Currently PPD is just making my motivation hard for medical school, cleaning and staying healthy

No. 314386

What are good baby foods for 8-12 months? My baby loves pears, bananas and ice cream and it's hard to introduce her to savory stuff and it feels like a waste since she doesn't eat it. She hates chicken and duck but kinda likes broth.

No. 314392

You fed her ice cream before vegetables? No wonder she doesn't want them anymore. Don't give them any sweets until they are at least a year old and eating well. Have you tried vegetables that are sweet like peas and carrots? You might have fucked up by giving only sweet things and sugar so early.

No. 314587

is the ice cream home made and without sugar? Else this is really awful, for the sugar and also the conservants and whatever chemicals they put in there. You might have luck with joghurt perhaps but try one that is natural please. Or maybe a really well cooked sweet potatoe. Avocado is not sweet but is also a good weaning food.

No. 314621

This was a special made baby ice cream anons! I made it in the ninja ice cream maker with breast milk, baby rice, strawberry and banana. Sorry I didn't make it clear. my baby was a preemie with failure to thrive and this was actually suggested by my OT

No. 314909

Why do people keep trying to gaslight women into skipping proper postpartum care? They act like letting the baby cry for an extra minute so you can do by proper vaginal care, eat or drink water is literally abuse. You gotta be kidding me breastfeeding drops blood sugar and women can literally pass out if she doesn't eat and breastfeeds. If you don't properly put on the ice pads or take medical or anything else it can cause infections. It's like as soon as we have a newborn people barely think we're human anymore

No. 314997

Have any anons gone through egg freezing? Is it a worthwhile process? I lost my ovary during my relationship, and we just broke up so I don't know if I will be in a relationship any time soon, and I'm getting older so I would love to freeze my eggs to give me some peace of mind.
Any advice is great.

No. 315056

As long as if you have a period and eggs you can get pregnant. When you're older you're more likely to have multiples since you'll hyperovulate anyway. Egg freezing started out as a predatory business towards women like most fertility companies

No. 315091

>I lost my ovary
I'm sorry but then how will you freeze anything?

No. 315231

What's the best thing for PPD anons? I'm thinking of ketamine infusions

No. 315238

I still have my second one

I haven't had a period in years due to being on an iud and now I'm on the pill so a little concerned about that
>predatory company
so is it not worth it?

No. 315239

I'm having my second period since giving birth and I am feeling a lot of cramping and heaviness in my actual vagina?? Does that mean I have a prolapse? Should I contact my doctor or are these regular period symptoms I never had previously? During my pregnancy I had a million non issues and I'm scared of reaching out to my GP or OB because both of them probably judge me for my health anxiety. They're also male so I don't trust their opinions on female health honestly.. My OB did miss granulated scar tissue I had after giving birth and gaslit the situation a lot. Did anyone else experience this with their postpartum periods?

No. 315271

How long has it been since you gave birth? Have you not had your 6 week postpartum check-up? Can you feel around in there carefully to see where things are at?

No. 315273

My baby had really bad colic and it's only gotten better around the 4-5 month mark. Now she is 5 months and teething. Everyone told me it's too early to be teething and I must be wrong but guess what? There is literally a tooth poking out of her gums today. I can't catch a break. Just wantes to rant cause I am so sick of how much you get gaslit when you have a baby.

No. 315284

I did, and my OB missed my granulated tissue and told me the pain I felt was normal. I saw an pelvic floor therapist twice and she put silver nitrate on it which helped. She did an internal exam but didn’t say anything was abnormal besides the fact that I pee when I sneeze. She prescribed me kegels and said I was good to go. That was about 3 months ago, I’m 18 weeks postpartum now. I still pee when I sneeze

No. 315336

Correct and typically frozen egg babies have a lot of complications. My best advice would be to take out the IUD and use condoms until you're ready since it can be literal months to years before you're able to get pregnant when getting off birth control. It also allows you to track your period which is one of the biggest indicators of any fertility issues and you can control it from there

No. 315397

File: 1678040281016.jpg (43.64 KB, 400x600, dad and baby.jpg)

Has anyone gotten a small gift for after the birth for their partners? I was hoping to get my husband the more premium version of his favorite whiskey, but he didn't know this so he got it himself to share with people as they come by to meet the baby. He's been so wonderful throughout the pregnancy, and was an absolute saint before then too, so I'd like to make him feel a little comforted and taken care of, too. He's such a minimalist that something like a cozy robe would be an annoyance, and I wouldn't want to spend too much, since then he would feel bad instead of appreciative.

No. 315400

He should be getting you a gift

No. 315403

This is your partner, you're the one that knows what he'll like the best. You could maybe get something for a hobby of his or maybe a dinner at a nice restaurant for you both where you can enjoy yourself after things calm down a little and you can get a family member to take care of the baby meanwhile?

No. 315483

You're getting him a baby. No need for any other gifts.

No. 315485

>dinner alone while someone else watches the NEWBORN
Pls stop giving advice if you never had a baby!

No. 315489

ntayrt and i have no stake in this game but you're absolutely psycho, letting other people you trust, (usually family) watch your baby is normal, and has been normal and even expected in most cultures around the world historically. It allows for better long term functioning for the parents. Hence the grandmother hypothesis, etc.

t. anthropologyfag

No. 315522

Nice sentiment, but you literally carried and birthed his baby and you're likely going to be doing more than him looking after your newborn. He should be gifting and spoiling you. Its the bare minimum for men to treat their partner well during pregnancy.

No. 315541

There's been a new wave of people (women and men) who give weird faketrad parenting advice (only to women though) that is basically that women need to have their babies attached to them like a kangaroo would, and they only ever seen to pop up when another person watches the baby so that way the mom can do something she wants to do like go to class, eat, take a shower, etc. Even if the other person is the father. It's funny because postpartum doulas will come in and watch the baby for 4-5 hours and it's bizarre to me the internet experts think they know better than doulas who have been taking care of newborns and postpartum moms for years and even decades

The worst ones are the ones who keep trying to shame moms out of postpartum care by calling it selfish if a woman takes a few extra seconds to ice her freshly ripped vagina or properly clean her c section.

I swear to God these new sexist ideologies are becoming more and more harmful to women. It wouldn't surprise me if FGM started becoming supported in the west

No. 315552

Does anyone else's blood sugar drop immensely when breastfeeding? Everytime I breastfeed if I don't eat right before I will start shaking, getting cold and dizzy and such. My breast milk is also extremely sweet it feels unusual for it to be THAT sugary. Is my body just putting way too much sugar in my milk? How do I stop?

No. 315553

human breast milk is naturally very sweet

No. 315555

A newborn needs to be fed every 1-2 hours, sometimes every 30 minutes if they are cluster feeding. Unless she is formula feeding, which most women don't, she is literally going to be tied to the baby at least for 3-4 months until they start feeding only ever couple of hours. They also need their mother the most when they are newborns, you don't just leave them to go out and have fun. Just shut up if you don't have kids, you know nothing.

No. 315557

Samefag to add that she will also want to spend every moment away from the baby she can get SLEEPING and not going out on datenights.

No. 315558

Are you out of your mind? I have 3 kids. Newborns can go 2-3 hours without eating, most hospitals put women on 3 hour feeding schedules now, which can easily be fed by someone else if you pump beforehand. How do you think women even return to work at 6 weeks if you have to be tied to a newborn? By 3-4 months you can go 4-5 hour stretches at night meaning you only need to wake up once to feed the baby

No. 315560

They cluster feed a lot when they are growing. 2-3 hours is a GUIDELINE given by hospitals. Every baby is different and many babies need to eat way more often than that.

No. 315562

None of my kids ever went 2-3 hours as newborns and even if yours do, do you really want to spend those in a restaurant rushing through dinner so you can get home quickly to feed the baby (that might get hungry earlier than that) or do you want to enjoy a nap when you stayed up all night?

No. 315568

You’ve got real issues anon. I wish your kids luck dealing with a personality like that.

No. 315587

Passive aggressive posters like you are why this thread sucks

No. 315592

yeah, not the ones who sperg out and harshly criticize and talk down to every anon that parents in a different way from them like they're going to murder their children, it's everyone who say "wtf" who are the problem kek.

No. 315643

Again just pump and let someone else feed the baby. We have modern inventions to help women

No. 315697

>so you can get home quickly to feed the baby
Do you not know how babysitting works anon? If the mom is breastfeeding she just pumps in advance and leaves milk and bottles with whoever is taking care of the baby. You just take the milk, pour it into a bottle and warm it up. Reading these posts feels like talking to an alien who's still learning about human child rearing.

No. 315698

>It wouldn't surprise me if FGM started becoming supported in the west
Ever heard of the husband stitch? It's doctors mutilating a woman's vaginal entrance after birth so she's tighter for her husband. It's been a thing in west for a long time already.

No. 315700

No amount of breastfeeding will make a difference in your child because they'll genetically acquire your autism, retard. Have fun when your child ends up being a failure while the women you criticize over tiny shit have normal children because they're not disabled and mentally ill like you.

No. 315784

It's likely a moid who is too lazy to take care of childcare duties so wants to convince women the only way they'll be good mums is if they do 100% of the childcare and never dare let another person watch the baby

No. 315878

I really wish my baby took bottles. I've been EBFing against my will. She refuses to drink from bottles. I tried so many. At this point I am exhausted, but I've made it 7 months.

No. 315881

It’s a fucking baby. Just force it to drink from the bottle. What’s it gonna do, cry?

No. 315882

HE should be the one not only spoiling you with gifts, but WORSHIPPING the ground you walk on. Period

No. 315895

She's a human being with preferences. I don't like making her upset. I tried to "force" her to take a bottle and she just refused to eat all day and cried terribly. Not sure about you nonnas but it physically hurts me when my baby cries intensely.

No. 315898

Anon I didn't have a child but my mother told me I was like that as a baby, hated eating and drinking, and on the rare occasions I ate well I would throw up and she'd lose her mind over it. I can definitely understand how you feel and how heartbreaking and draining your current situation must be for you. But please always remember that you're trying your best.
Do you have any professionals or something like that that you can contact for help? Any female friends or relatives whose baby struggled from similar issues? These issues are super common unfortunately and babies are just not cooperative in most cases. Please don't feel like you're not enough or doing something wrong, most mothers go through this.

No. 315901

Question for those that have already had their kids, what did you find to be the most useful items for you and your babies during/after giving birth? Is there anything you regret getting cos it wasn't that useful or needed?
I am currently in the 3rd trimester and am "nesting" rn, getting the house ready, starting to pack my birth bag etc.

No. 315913

And this is why you take every post itt with a grain of salt.

No. 315928

Use freshly pumped milk (frozen milk has increase lipids which makes it taste soapy) and then try a few bottles (comotomo, Evenflo, Phillips naturals, etc) to see what baby likes or if it's old enough try a sippy or open cup. Also glass bottles make the milk taste better

Make sure baby doesn't have reflux either or else it could cause an adversion and if it does put rice in the bottle and get a reflux prescription. You can also put sugar water (look up how to make baby sugar water) to get baby to suckle

No. 315936

Does anyone ever NEVER have a positive test? For my first I had an ultrasound, went through the entire pregnancy and didn't have a positive test. I checked every direction, took it in the morning and even purposely dehydrated myself and never had a positive test but I was indeed pregnant. I swear to God I'm pregnant now and my uterus feels exactly how it did when I was pregnant and still no positive test. What to do? Should I just get an ultrasound again?

No. 315962

It happened to my mom for all her pregnancy, she got an ultrasound after her period did not came to be sure.

No. 315965

I was wondering if the lesbian nonna and her wife who got pregnant with ivf was going good ?

No. 316003

Off the top of my head, a sound machine, Love to Dream swaddles, and the Fridababy nose sucker. Also, just buy some diapers for yourself instead of bothering with pads.

No. 316004

Thank you all for the advice and kind words. I have tried all of those methods unfortunately. I am working with some lactation consultants and so far my baby simply won't cooperate. She does sometimes tolerate drinking a bit, but not enough to be considered a meal. I'm still working on it. I feel bad when I see other babies who easily take a bottle, but I am hoping with time my little one will get better.

No. 316007

Immediately postpartum I used Depends silloute disposable underwear and I swear they were a lifesaver! Dermoplast and frida icepads were my bestfriend. For my son, we swaddled with muslin blankets because they were cheapest. If you're breastfeeding a boppy is really useful. I ordered 2 button up gowns off of amazon which were super cozy and nice to use while giving birth and afterwards! Don't spend a ton of money though because they get stained

As a newborn and infant these have been used daily:
-A bouncer/ Swing / Floor seat.
-A portable sound machine
-A utility cart for diapers/wipes/breastfeeding supplies
-A rocking chair
-Blackout curtains!
-More burp cloths than you think you'll need

No. 316013

This but swaddles are a good investment if your baby likes being swaddled! And the haaka helps so many wet shirts if you leak like crazy like me. A cosleeper bassinet would be best as well

No. 316047

I bought so many burp cloths and I have never used a single one since my baby doesn't spit up at all.

No. 316048

What tests are you buying? There is definitely a very big difference in quality depending on the brand. The blue dye tests are especially bad.

No. 316129

All of them. Cheap, experience, digital, hospital grade ones, etc. Maybe the hormones just don't come out in my pee? It was like this for my first

No. 316233

Could be you just have naturally low levels of HCG or very slow to rise HCG.

No. 316254

File: 1678467004891.png (513.37 KB, 768x722, Screenshot 2023-03-10 at 11.36…)

can we talk about strollers? i just bought this bugaboo cameleon set off of fb marketplace for $250. it comes with everything: a bassinet, bug/sun/rain covers, drink holder, plus some other things. i really like it and kind of bought it on a whim because the couple were very sweet and it seemed in really good condition. i have no idea about strollers, although i know bugaboo and uppababy are popular. what strollers have you bought?

No. 316372

I just wore my baby in a lille baby carrier until she could sit unsupported on her own. She now uses a McLaren umbrella stroller. Lightweight and well made. My baby loved to look around, so she did not enjoy lot of strollers that obstructed her view.

No. 316419

File: 1678546764916.jpeg (26.41 KB, 554x554, images (7).jpeg)

We have a Maxi Cosi Street+ I am very happy with it except the front wheels get a bit fucky when its been muddy and dirt gets stuck in the mechanism. I would probably buy something with bigger and better wheels next time. Other than that its been very practical.

No. 316989

My aunt said my cousin had a tooth at 4 months, its not unheard of. Hope it goes well. I had used a natural rubber teether that I put in the freezer sometimes. I heard frozen breastmilk in a mesh feeder helps as well, but did not try that myself. Hang in there.

No. 316991

Absolutely same for me, I would like to get my baby to bottle feed as well but nothing works, if it even makes it into her mouth, she just spits it out and cries. 6 month mark now, I hope once she's open to solids I might just give it into an open cup since she hated every rubber or silicone nipple I got.

No. 317037

Dip the nipple in a sugar/water combo (2 tsp of water 1 tsp of sugar) and they will naturally suck on it. Also get slow flow nipples too. The best bottles for breastfed babies in my experience is como tomo, Phillips advent naturals, even flo, first essentials and Minnie. You can also get others to help you

No. 317042

This happened to someone I know irl. She went to the doctor about not having periods but the tests were negative. Found out she was going to be a mom at five months due to an ultrasound. Her baby is happy and healthy.

No. 317071

That is my worst nightmare kek

No. 317089

I've had 3 kids and this always happens to me. For me it's blood tests or straight up ultrasounds

No. 317153

That's because once your HCG gets too high it actually overwhelms normal pregnancy tests and they show up negative.

No. 317180

So my period is usually on time, give or take 3 days. I’m currently two days “late” which wouldn’t concern me usually… but since the day my period was supposed to start, my discharge has had a brown and sometimes pink hue mixed into it everyday now… I don’t think this has ever happened and my periods are usually pretty heavy. It’s probably nothing and it will come right after I post this kek.. but would you nonnas tell your bf of your concerns if you were in my place or wait til it’s been a few more days?

No. 317185

I would take a test before creating unnecessary concern.

No. 317250

Does anyone have any tips for diaper rash? I have been so dilligent, changing her diaper after every poop and never letting her go more than 1-2 hours without a diaper change except at night, always cleaning very thoroughly, always applying barrier cream. I have no idea why she still got a rash and now I don't know how to make it go away. Could it be I am actually putting on too much cream and making it too moist? It's the only thing I can think of. Now I try to change her even more often but she HATES it and I try to let her air-dry in between and hang out without diaper for a while. I'm so sad, I feel like such a failure despite trying so hard to do everything right.

No. 317251

File: 1679054388001.jpg (74.14 KB, 870x870, penaten_creme.jpg)

Samefag to add I use only water wipes with nothing added to them and this cream.

No. 317263

maybe she is allergic tp the diaper material

No. 317264

We used the same brand since she was born and she's only now getting a rash at 6 months.

No. 317304

My thighs are the same size as my waist used to be. I haven't gained more than the guidelines say to. Will my body ever be normal again?

No. 317307

Everyone is different but personally I found it relatively easy to lose the baby weight, especially while breastfeeding you burn a shit ton of extra calories. But I also understand that some women don't since it is much harder to exercise and cook healthy meals with a baby, it's definitely doable but I get why some women would just indulge in snacks and take-out. If you avoid that then you should be fine.

No. 317308

sometimes I don't use any. Maybe try ruling out that baby is not reacting to anything else? Maybe try switching diaper brands, theres some that use less chemicals or maybe use cloth ones. I had good calming of rashes by either putting some coconut oil or the diaper cream from weleda

No. 317520

Samefag just did a test and it’s positive. I’m so nervous right now. I’ve had the worst baby fever but wasn’t actually trying to get pregnant. I’m so scared nonnas of what’s gonna happen to my body and how my family will receive this as my bf and I don’t own our own home or anything yet.

No. 317533

another victim of baby fever succumbs to the horror of motherhood. RIP.

No. 317546

hey! i don’t know if you solved this yet but sometimes diaper rashes can become yeast infections. if you think this is the case, try putting on an anti-fungal cream and letting that dry before putting on barrier cream. you might need to size up in diapers. that was the cause of my daughter’s diaper rash.

No. 317636

go back to reddit you ugly trannoid

No. 317640

Congrats nonna!! Don't worry, I'm sure you will figure something out, just trust in God. You need way less money btw and less things than it seems. And if you live with your or his parents in the beginning it's also doable. Now focus on taking care of yourself and your body until you get to meet your baby, it's the most beautiful experience there is. Dont stress out, your hormones and stress levels during pregnancy are already shaping what kind of person baby will be. I also was slaving in my dead end wagie job and didn't live together with my BF when I got pregnant- now we are living together and life is better than ever with our 6 month old. And don't worry about how family takes it, I even had to deal with MIL telling me and insisting that I have to kill my own child, it can be so grim. But ultimately the only thing that matters is the relationship between you and your baby.

No. 317643

>just trust in God!
Kind of a weird thing to say to someone with real concerns who's shown no indication they're religious.

No. 317656

File: 1679264180790.jpg (77.94 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)

Since the childfree people in their thread are sneering about us having issues with things like breastfeeding and all the other difficult things that come with having a baby I'd just like to say that despite how hard it is sometimes, I feel so overwhelmingly blessed by having my daughter.

I never thought I could love anyone this much and every time I see her smile and hear her do her cute baby giggles I am filled with so much love and happiness. It's so totally worth the sore nipples and backpain to watch her explore the world for the first time and learn new things every day an learning more about her. Whenever I get like 2 hours away from her I miss her already after a couple of minutes and can't wait to hug and snuggle her again. Not even when she is sick and crying all night long have I ever wished not to have had her. Seeing my husband as a dad also made me love him even more and appreciate him in a totally new way. I love having my own family and I wouldn't change it for the world.

No. 317673

File: 1679268873772.jpeg (121.16 KB, 750x886, 4E5ECC04-40DA-4EE0-8B91-757DC2…)

Women in IVF sex selection groups are straight up deranged.

Like I just want a girl child because I’ve seen how misogynistic and awful teenage moids get especially now in the era of ubiquitous porn and meanwhile these women are like 'I want a girl because BOWS and CLOTHES and PRINCESS TEA PARTIES' or 'I want a boy because my moid won’t be able to bond with a girl because he can’t take a GIRL hunting or teach her to fix the car'

I wasn’t aware that there were so many people obsessed with gender stereotypes to this degree before I joined these groups, or at least I’d have assumed that they’d mostly be extremely religious and opposed to IVF

No. 317677

Genuinely what is the point in paying all that money to choose your baby’s sex when there is a chance they will Troon out anyway?
How about don’t be a shitty parent to your kid and expect a perfect daughter because that’s what you paid for?

No. 317684

This kind of parent would probably troon their daughter out if she didn’t like bows or tea parties tbh

No. 317731

What a horrible mom, she's totally the kind that turns her daughter into a doll/minime but once she hits puberty she gets jealous of her and see her as a rival.

No. 317732

Why are we here pretending like most of us don't have a strong girl bias because of believes we hold about women and men and their inherent qualities? I don't see an issue with it honestly.

No. 317741

Ayrt, thanks! We currently live together but it’s only a 1 bedroom apartment. I don’t think our parents will be disappointed or unsupportive, I just worry mine will be concerned. They’re boomers who got to do everything the “right way” in that they got married and bought a house before starting to have kids. I think they’ll just worry that we’re not in as stable of a place as we’d ideally be.

Could you elaborate on needing less money than you think? Everyone I know goes on about how expensive everything is and I’m already trying to think of ways to penny-pinch, such as maybe getting reusable cloth diapers but that seems gross lol.

No. 317767

File: 1679324926424.jpg (71.96 KB, 938x910, empapador-absorbentes-camas-or…)

cloth diapers are fine honestly, the poop is quite washable before they start solids. However you should look into maybe getting a monthly box or something that gives a better deal than buying them packet-wise. You could clean the butt with water and mild soap and keep the water wipes for maybe nighttime/when outside. A baby carrier/sling instead of a stroller. I didnt need a baby bathtub, just hold the baby on your lap while sitting down in shower while newborn, later when they can hold their head you can just hold them up while standing in the shower. In the "airplane" position it was easiest to clean them imo. Clothes if not gifted can be bought for peanuts used on like fb marketplace or thrift shops. If you breastfeed, you dont need bottles or formula. Pacifiers are absolutely optional. You dont need a changerpad let alone a whole furniture for it, I just got 3 bed mats that are waterproof (pic related) and just put it under the baby whereever she was at to change her. Instead of a crib you can put a baby mattress on the floor (make sure to air out daily) or co-sleep. I know this is frowned upon a lot but it worked for me. Oh and I made a diaper cream out of coconut and bentonite clay. Generally you dont need to bathe the baby that much either and just a mild baby soap like from burts bees is fine. No need to get all sorts of oils and lotions and whatnot. The only thing I would get that can also be seen as unnecessary was a bouncer, just so you can leave the baby somewhere while you get some cleaning or cooking or whatever done. However this can also be optional, especially in a 1 room apartment. Make sure that all the things you get are cotton/natural though this is the only thing I would watch out for. Its not worth it to cheap out on fabric and get polyester (plastic).

No. 317768

Beautiful nonna well said and I relate very much.

No. 317792

I knew multiple families who did this, fucked around in their 20s, brought a house and all in their 30s and started trying for babies in their 40s and now they're absolutely miserable. They can't have fun or keep up with their kids, when my husband joked around about bouncing at a trampoline park for birthdays they kept crying about how they'd break something because they're in their 50s now. Everytime I saw them they seemed miserable and constantly giving us shit tier advice like have the second baby 20 yrs later in our 40s even though we're doing good financially and even have a home lined up. This method of waiting til you're older to settle down also forces people to choose someone who may not be right for them if you didn't take relationships seriously in your 20s

No. 317795

Anyone obsessed with gender of their children is extremely weird and gross it seems. At least people who prefer girls tend to do it because they like girly things and girls are more likely to do that sort of stuff, people who prefer boys never ever do it because they like boys personalities more but do it out of a place of misogyny. "Gender disappointment" aka moids who are seething because they wanna be king Henry apparently and demand their wife birth them sons constantly are the worse and don't deserve kids, especially if they choose to get pregnant naturally or don't offer money for IVF and just expect random strong sons to appear in their wives lap

No. 317798

I want a daughter because most men abuse and rape women at least once in their lifetimes whether that be raping a drunk girl, smacking their girlfriends or beating their pregnant wives to death, even if they don't outwardly abuse women, they're very likely to become sexpests who consume abuse porn. I don't want that and sadly there's not much I can do to make a change in a child when the environment affects them this much. I don't want someone like that to be my "child".

No. 317802

God that is horrendous. My daughter is three, and I never expected her to be anything other than herself. Today she wears camo jeans with a Stitch shirt because that's what she picked. Projecting a fantasy onto your unborn and pigeon-holing them before they draw their first breath… just so creepy. Kids are individuals with their own idea of self expression. This woman's daughter will likely resent her.

No. 317812

Yes. When you let your children make their own personality instead of enforcing one on them you get a much better outcome. I'm into girly stuff but I don't push it on my daughter, who's big into sharks and dogs. If you want a specific gender don't have kids. If you expect your kid to have a very specific personality and interests, don't have kids. If you can't handle arguments maturely and calmly don't have kids.

No. 317832

Honestly same. The last thing this world needs is more moids
I have one daughter now, and would like more children. But one of things holding me back is the risk of having a boy. I wish there was a way to only have female babies, apart from aborting once you know the sex

No. 317833

I usually lean child-free because of how much I’d hate having a boy, but if I didn’t have worry about that I might actually want a child. Watching what my brother (and his friends too) turned into despite our amazing parents blackpilled me on the idea of sons forever. It’s horrifying.

No. 317878

I have a daughter too and I'm scared to gamble again. I remember how good and relieved I felt after finding out she was a girl. I really don't want to become a boy mom and have to clean out my son's fap den.

No. 317880

Anyone else get preggo constipation episodes?

No. 317885

Yall are weird as hell for having husbands/otherwise committed moids to procreate with but draw the line at your own child being a boy.

No. 317887

Thank you SO much for this very thorough response. I will take much of it under consideration when we really start to put all the pieces together.

Turns out I was worrying too much, unsurprisingly. I broke the news and they’re over the moon. My dad is a little worried about how we’re gonna handle everything but ultimately everyone is very happy and excited.

No. 317906

You can leave your husband if he turns into a rapist, it's much harder to walk away from a child you gave birth to even if he's a monster. That's why boymoms are the way they are, maternal instinct overpowers common sense.

No. 317921

I’m just a lesbian and I don’t want any males in my household.

No. 317927

Why not? Having a daughter can give you all a perfect reflection of moids or other people in your life. It can quickly reveal how misogynistic someone is or if someone is a perv. I cut out my husband's mom for this reason because she would say creepy things revolving around my daughter such as asking for pictures of her private parts when we got a gender reveal ultrasound. She's 12 months now and is never allowed to met her grandmother

No. 317956

How do you stop people from stealing breast milk anons? I was hospitalized for PPD for a few days and I would turn the milk into my male nurse. When I was leaving he handed me a bag of the breast milk bottles, and I was missing at least 3. Not the first time I've gotten my milk stolen either

No. 317980

You're not allowing your child's grandmother to be in her life because she asked to see the ultrasound pictures? Sorry but you are totally insane.

No. 318076

Did you not read?
>asking for pictures of her private parts
>private parts
No normal person asks to see a fetuses vagina specifically. She also as a weird habit of making sexual comments towards children. Talks to her daughter about sex often, demanded that she needed to watch her daughter have sex for the first time. And also comments on high schoolers breast size. Sometimes when we were watching movies she would just randomly out of nowhere start mentioning every woman's breast size. She asks high school girls if they ever had sex with a woman. She has two assault charges towards her children. I cut her off when she asked for pictures of my daughter's vagina, which was a good choice since months later husband and his sister started revealing that she had molested both of them by claiming she needed to check their private parts. Who's insane now?

No. 318077

nta but fuck that's so bad, if I were in your shoes I would've done the same. Good on you for having the courage to cut her off.

No. 318346

God I swear my hormones were not this fucked up during my first pregnancy. I reek to the point that it makes me sick. Despite strong deodorant, scrubbing my underarms daily, and spraying with alcohol, they always smell horrible in the morning or towards the afternoon. I’m not even a sweaty person; most of the time I’m totally dry. I feel like I’m over washing my shirts too. I don’t want to leave them in the basket for more than a half a day in case the soap can’t clean them well enough.

I’m so self conscious about being near people right now since I’m literally nauseating to myself kek.

No. 318347

I am >>317520 and I’ve settled into the idea of having a baby. While I was scared shitless a week ago of being pregnant, now I’m terrified of something going wrong. I was experiencing strong symptoms (heightened emotions, hot flashes, intense hunger, brain fog, sore boobs) but suddenly don’t feel pregnant. My symptoms have lessened and I know I shouldn’t complain, but I’m getting worried something may be going wrong. Is it normal for symptoms to come and go so quickly?

No. 318362

Remember that you can also smell better (as in able to smell more) during pregnancy. At least I could, extremely.

No. 318375

Yes that's totally normal

No. 318376

You didn't mention any of the other stuff in your post. Old people have different attitudes towards naked children, I bet you all of your parents have pics of you naked in the tub that they think nothing of. Old women constantly fawn over how cute babies butts are. If you had cut her off just for that then yeah, you way overreacted. Now you come out saying she is an actual child predator who assaulted children before thats a bit of a different story and maybe some context you should have included.

No. 318446

She's always had creepy behavior towards children, asking for pics of her vagina was the crossing point. It wasn't until after I already cut her off more stuff was revealed and my gut feeling was right. Parents need to be better at spotting predators and not be afraid of taking action

No. 318539

I made it the whole way through this pregnancy with literally zero issues and now, at 36 weeks, I have covid. What sort of universal force has decided to punish me and why!!!

No. 318560

This happened to me. Perfect pregnancy and my mom visited me and gave me covid. As a reaction to covid, I developed severe PUPPs. It was literal itchy hell on earth.

No. 318850

try doing a baking soda bath for this.
"add 2 tablespoons of baking soda to warm bath water. Soak baby's bottom for 5-10 minutes once or twice a day."
How far along are you?

No. 318876

File: 1680034023911.jpg (48.17 KB, 1000x1000, 51L1jOv20hL._SL1000_.jpg)

Update on the diaper rash, it's gone! We ended up buying Aquaphor because I read it was good for diaper rash and also just let her hang out on a changing mat without a diaper for 10-15mins at every diaper change so she can properly dry and get some airflow and sunlight down there. It helped really quickly.

No. 320227

>new mom
>Baby crying, typically while trying to complete a task and postpartum mental health is fucking up
>Cue the internet experts who want to force women to believe they are on the same level as child abuse if they're unable to get baby to stop crying right then and there
What hellhole did I even wake up in? Is this just a recent thing that these literal retards all seem to have forgotten babies cry and women don't need to run to baby a millisecond after crying started?

No. 320230

Always remember that the worst keyboard warriors have a penis that clouds their judgement. Always. Don't feel bad for them, they're happy in their ignorance, but that doesn't make them right.

No. 320309

Did anyone else have issues with their teeth chipping excessively while pregnant and breastfeeding? I try so hard to take prenatals and calcium supplements (I take them about every other day) and I’m sure I’ve got some kind of vitamin deficiencies going on… because my teeth won’t stop fucking chipping. I have good dental hygiene but I don’t have a very balanced diet ugh. I need to stop eating granola and crunchy rollers

No. 320464

How big of a difference is there between a regular pump and a hopspital-grade rental? I have the option to rent a pump for free for 12 months, but I'm not sure if it's worth having the extra clutter around.

No. 320483

Are you getting enough magnesium/vitamin D? Without sufficient levels of either you can take all the calcium you want but it won't be utilised by your body for bone growth

No. 320494

Eating grains leeches minerals out of you, might skip a few granola bars here and there. Also take vitamin K.

No. 320496

Seconding the Magnesium (specifically glycinate) recommendation. OJ also helps absorption
Could you return it early? It wouldn't hurt to have if you do end up exclusively pumping. I personally have no use for a pump and prefer to hand pump if needed but i know everyone feels different. Electric ones make me feel sewercidal.
Those people are genuinely retarded and if any of them are moms they get off on being the sacrificial mother archetype.
If the babies needs are met they can cry so you can take a shit or eat something. It will be fine.

No. 320675

I'm currently 5 weeks and freaking out a bit about folic acid doses. Around 6 months ago I told my GP I was going to try and conceive this year and she put me on 5mg folic acid. When I found out I was pregnant I also started up a prenatal multi containing 500 mcg of active folate. I see that the recommendation is 400-600 mcg for women without a history of neural tube defects, and 5mg is literally 10x that amount. Is this excessive and should I discontinue? IMO, my folic acid stores should be quite high if I've been taking this dose for so long, and the prenatal should be sufficient. I will talk to my GP about it after Easter weekend but was wondering if anyone had some insight? I do have a B12 deficiency that's being treated and I have decent levels now, so I wonder if thats why she prescribed such a high folic acid dosage.

No. 320704

Folic acid is water-soluble and will be excreted through your urine. You don't have a large storage of it, like you would with vitamin D or other fat-soluble vitamins. You should be ok taking both, but it may be excessive. Your doctor will know what's the best choice for you.

No. 320786

My understanding is that although it's water-soluble, large amounts can't be processed by the liver and end up as unmetabolized folic acid circulating in your blood which can have negative effects. Regardless I'll chat to my doctor about it.

No. 320799


Apparently there aren't any confirmed health risks reported by the cdc so far. I wonder why your doctor wants you to be on so much. Either way, you're technically not supposed to start any supplement without your doctor's approval. All the best nonnie!

No. 320855

Anons do you know any ways to make the appearance of already existing stretchmarks on your body less noticeable? I've been using oils and I feel it has helped but I'm wondering if there are other choices.

No. 320862

Mederma makes a stretch mark lotion. It really improved the appearance of my stretch marks within a few weeks.

No. 320981

Anyone here considering using/has anyone here used IVF sex selection to have a girl? To be honest I think I would be able to raise a non moidy son but it just seems like it would be better to not even have to worry about it; I’d prefer a girl anyway, and I’m only having one child + will likely have to use IVF anyway so… might as well guarantee having the kid I want to have more? I don’t know. It feels weird ethically but I really would like to have a daughter more than I’d like to have a son. Plus a lot of clinics say they won’t do it unless there’s a health reason but I also heard they will do it quietly if you ask or make up a sex related health reason like autism.

No. 321093

Thanks anon.
Do you have any genetic disease that runs in the family and affects men? You could use that as a reasoning. I think choosing sex is illegal in most countries but clinics usually let that stuff slide if you keep quiet about it just like how some abortion clinics abort babies past the official time using made up health issues.
I don't think it's bad ethically, does your husband/wife agree though? That'd be the biggest concern imo. I hope it works out for you and it all goes well.

No. 321105

I live in a Eastern European country and I’m planning to go to Ukraine to do IVF with donor sperm and sex selection. I’m a lesbian and I want a moid-free home kek

I’m probably gonna go to ISIDA clinic in Uzhgorod. From what I’ve seen one cycle costs 7-10k €. There are Facebook groups related to IVF sex selection but they’re mostly populated by weird Christian nut Americans with 7 sons who 'want a girl because they’re obedient and love princesses' or alternatively 'want a boy because their hubby-wubby is unable to relate to girls' so you have to deal with a lot of retards while trying to find information.

No. 321201

you're mentally ill, please don't have children for the love of God.

No. 321222

God isn’t real and the only mentally ill one here is you, moid.

No. 321296

Isn't it funny how lesbians think all harm comes from men and then their statistics of domestic abuse are then higher than of normal couples? It's selfish as hell and mental illness to pay someone to implant you a child that isn't truly yours just to abuse it after you aborted its siblings you fucking freakazoid.

No. 321363

Do you just spam this to random people?
The statistic you're talking about how been debunked multiple times dumbass

No. 321368

File: 1681371543500.jpeg (14.25 KB, 680x476, CCC07522-CB6C-4732-9DA3-B07ACA…)

Can’t tell if you’re a scrote or a fucktarded boymommy but either way you’re living proof why women shouldn’t have sons kek

There are no benefits to male children, they’re more likely to have all mental illnesses except depression, more likely to have ODD and behavioral problems, more likely to commit crime, less likely to finish school and get a degree, and nowadays all are misogynistic porn addicts starting at an early age. Also all metrics show that lesbian couples are better parents than straight ones, mostly due to the absence of a scrote. Cope and seethe.

Also abortion is based, especially if males are being aborted.

No. 321369

can you share those studies/metrics anon? that sounds very interesting!

No. 321370

Not involved in this and not a lesbian but those statistics don't show abuse between women but rather how many lesbians have been abused in total by either men or women.
Nta but kek. Why are some of you so obsessed with anons getting IVF? Bringing up religion and god on a site that's %50 porn and horny posting is so ironic.

No. 321373

File: 1681376249544.jpeg (132.87 KB, 750x969, 93A218E0-3053-4801-A91C-79B37A…)

>The results indicate that children raised by same-sex parents from birth perform better than children raised by different-sex parents in both primary and secondary education.

>Results revealed no significant differences between the 2 groups of children, who also compared favorably with the standardization samples for the instruments used. In addition, no significant differences were found between dyadic adjustment of lesbian and heterosexual couples. Only in the area of parenting did the 2 groups of couples differ; lesbian couples exhibited more parenting awareness skills than did heterosexual couples


>According to their mothers' reports, the 17-year-old daughters and sons of lesbian mothers were rated significantly higher in social, school/academic, and total competence and significantly lower in social problems, rule-breaking, aggressive, and externalizing problem behavior than their age-matched counterparts


>corporal punishment is less commonly used by lesbian mothers as a disciplinary measure than by heterosexual fathers

>Since the sexual abuse of children that occurs within the home is largely perpetrated by adult heterosexual males (Balsam et al., 2005; Turner, Finkelhor, & Ormrod, 2007; Peter, 2009; Putnam, 2003; Shusterman, Fluke, McDonald, & Associates, 2005; Zink, Klesges, Stevens, & Decker, 2009), growing up in lesbian-headed households may protect children and adolescents from these types of assault
>When compared with age- and gender-matched adolescents of the National Survey of Family Growth, the study offspring were significantly older at the time of their first heterosexual contact
>None of the NLLFS girls reported pregnancy

No. 321377

Do you think those surveyors went around door to door asking “any domestic violence going on in here?”, jackass? The study asked couples if either of the two had ever experienced domestic violence.

“Lesbian relationship” doesn’t mean “never dated a man”, there are fully homosexual women who took years to realise it. You don’t need more than a braincell to see domestic violence is a male crime. The more women in a couple, the more likely you are to encounter a victim of domestic violence.

Your interpretation is like saying girls are rapists because you’d find a higher percentage of SA victims in a girls’ school. It’s a disingenuous narrative created to tarnish women and say that sweet evil men aren’t that bad, “you’d beat your wife too if you had one uwu”.

No. 321700

This is more of a vent/rant. I am going to the US from Europe with a baby and I just found out that it's apparently a CRIME to bring your baby car seat with you into the US.

>A person may not manufacture for sale, sell, offer for sale, introduce or deliver for introduction into interstate commerce, or import into the United States, any motor vehicle or motor vehicle equipment….unless the vehicle or equipment complies with the standard…Title 49 Section 30112 of the US Code of Law. Child seats are items of motor vehicle equipment. The fine is up to $1000 per violation.

What the fuck? Guess I am buying a new carseat first thing after landing with a baby after a long ass flight. I don't really trust used/rented seats since you never know if they have been in an accident.

No. 321711

Is anyone really going to stop you? I doubt most of them are even aware of that law

No. 321718

Supposedly the TSA will confiscate it

No. 321763

there's fairly cheap ones available at like walmart and stuff here, $60 ish dollars, but I wouldn't think its a crime to just bring it but probably yes to use it?

No. 321775

This is interesting, I’ve never heard this before. Apparently you also can’t use a US car seat in Europe or Australia (and vice versa) because of different regulations. Sorry anon, that sounds super annoying. Traveling internationally with a little one is already hectic as it is.

No. 321845

Actually the opposite, apparently it's not a crime to use it, but a crime to import it.

No. 321908

Can we talk about anatomical changes after childbirth? I've had one child so far and I think everything for me has returned to normal fully now around 6 months after birth. We had sex 6 weeks after birth and it did not feel great at first but now it actually feels better than before and PIV orgasms are actually easy for me now. I think that giving birth made my cervix less sensitive cause I used to always get pain and flat out couldn't do some positions during certain times of the month and now I don't get that at all anymore and it's all just very pleasant feelings all around.

I was so afraid of having my vagina "ruined" by giving birth and I know that it CAN happen if you have a super traumatic birth, fingers crossed it will not happen to me in the future, but I'm surprised that the changes for me were actually positive. I feel like nobody ever talks about this stuff except to share horror stories.

No. 321988

Yeah my vagina looks and feels the same. I was really surprised, especially because I had a second degree tear. I can't see any scar tissue because it's mostly internal. My bladder did shift though, I can actually feel a lot more pressure in my urethra during sex and when I have to go to the bathroom. There's not much I can do about it besides kegels forever. I was also able to heal my diastasis recti with a few youtube videos, but I have loose skin and pretty bad stretch marks. Overall I thought my vagina would look and feel totally different but really the stretch marks were the worst part of childbirth for me. I forgot to mention that I had pre-eclampsia which made me gain an excessive amount of weight, I probably would have been totally fine if it weren't for that! I plan on having more

No. 322224

Would you mind linking those videos? I'm 5mo. pp and I feel like my abs have just forgotten the way they used to be. My midwife doesn't want to refer me to a physical therapist since "it's so early" and my body is "still healing"… Nevermind that apart from the separation, I'm back to normal. I'm just pissed off all the time from being indoctrinated by the fucking patriarchy into believing my body was going to be "ruined" by childbirth. Some seperated abs and loose skin and stretchmarks can't ruin fucking perfect female beauty lol. Sorry for rant.

No. 322722

I'm nine months pregnant and overcome with irrational disgust at the thought of my MIL holding my baby. I remember her holding my nephew when he was small and talking about how she remembered her own sons as small children, and I'm weirdly angry picturing this exchange with my own child. Last time we saw her she remarked about how seeing me took her back to her own pregnancy. I don't feel upset thinking about my own family, or any of my other in-laws. My hormones are obviously acting up. Does this feeling go away?

No. 322788

The over the top crazy preggo emotions went away from me around 3 months PP.

No. 322793

I actually feel like child birth made my vulva more attractive. And postpartum was the first time in my entire life I was okay with my body's appearance. Moids and pickmes just want to claim women are ruined to neg them

No. 322824

File: 1682104198842.jpg (62.55 KB, 718x387, IMG_6724.jpg)

I dont like my stretch marks and that my boobs are huge and sort of saggy now but husband is very happy and I can actually orgasm vaginally without having to rub my clit during sex. So you win some and lose some. But you likely won't have as much sex, as by the time you get the baby to sleep you're gonna be very tired as well. Or get ready to get jiggy with it while having your little one watching you and babbling.

No. 323090

My sister told me one of her friend’s boyfriends broke up with her after she gave birth with the excuse that “the baby isn’t a male” like what the fuck is this? The 1400s?

No. 323093

These posts are so sweet. I've always thought women had this kind of a glow to them after childbirth no matter how tired they were.

No. 323270

No problem, anon!! Glowbody PT has some great resources. I’m following Abby Pollock to see if she uploads anything soon because she just did a video about diastasis recti. I completely agree! I can’t believe doctors don’t actively recommend at least the most basic PT exercises…. It happens to most women. I did these exercises 4-5x a week for probably. 6 weeks but I still do them at least 2-3x now because I really want to make sure my core and pelvic muscles stay healthy! I take 1 HIIT class a week at the gym but she rarely does any exercises that activate the transverse abdominals which I’ve noticed about most mainstream core workouts. Make sure you really focus on deep belly breathing throughout both workouts, it helps a lot.

No. 323290

This is going to sound really stupid so just bear with me. my brother and his wife very recently had a baby, and I'm super excited for them, but I'm worried that when I go and visit I won't be able to like…interact with the baby properly. I have no idea how to interact with very young children, I always feel really awkward around babies/young kids because I just have no idea what to do. But I want to be able to actually play with my own niece, lol, so do any nonnies have advice? Also, second question, do any nonnies have any tips on what kind of gift I could give my sister in law that may or may not be baby related? Or have any of you gotten a postpartum gift that you really appreciated and would recommend? I don't know if I'll be able to visit them soon, but I want to bring her something nice since she did all the hard work!!

No. 323379

Food or a doordash/grubhub giftcard is the perfect thing to bring. As for how to interact, newborns don't really play much. If she offers you the chance to hold her, smiling is good, but toddlers really are more interactive. Offer to take a picture of SIL with baby; not enough people do that for the mom.

No. 323412

Newborns are basically potatoes that just sleep, eat and poo. They don't play or interact with people yet. Just sit down and let them put the baby in your arms if you want to hold it. I second food as a gift, something she just needs to warm up so she doesn't have to cook or maybe some lactation cookies.

No. 323971

Thank you so much nonny, this is exactly what I've been looking for! I browsed myself a while ago but I never found any video that I thought was based in actual evidence, and IRL everyone was just remarking at "Dont do situps until it's closed, do other exersizes" without getting into details of what to do instead!?
I hope other nonnies see this post because as you said, this really should be a part of the basic information you're given pp. I wanted to have this info at the hospital damn it, before I worked out in the wrong way for weeks and got nowhere. Our bodies are bloody amazing for being able to go through such a huge change, to give life to a whole other being, and come out looking even better!

No. 324063

How do nonnas feel about homebirths? Strongly considering it given the baby is healthy and there aren't expectations of complications.

No. 324064

my mom did it for me and my sister with doctors and midwives present. she liked that she didn't have to hang around the hospital for too long and found it was more comfortable. no complications. not too knowledgeable about it firsthand though

No. 324139

dangerous, nona, there are thousands of things that can go south while giving birth. in the event of complications arising, an ambulance and transfer to the hospital would take minimum one hour while you would be cared for immediately in a regular hospital stay. i wish you a happy and safe delivery and a healthy baby

No. 324153

I think a lot can be said for traditionalist ways but I don't think pregnancy is the right time to reject modern conveniences. A lot of things can go wrong even if you didn't anticipate them beforehand. Lots of women before you could've prevented complications had they had access to hospital care like you do anon.

No. 324576

>moid-free home
kek, never change nonny

No. 325145

I'm also considering it but its not exactly the standard here. In the private health sector in my country the rate of c-section is 76%, which is absolutely insane and reflects on our OBGYNs mindsets about birth. My husband would prefer labouring in hospital as he's worried something could happen to me during labour. From what I've read, the need for interventions in labour go down significantly with planned home labour, but the risk for neonatal death varies. Some studies indicate that the neonatal death rate is similar to hospital births, while others state its higher than hospital births. Things can go wrong in any labour, but it makes sense to me that labour would go smoother (if you're low risk) in a place where you're comfortable, allowed to move, not subjected to a ton of cervical checks and suggested interventions to get you out of the labour ward as soon as possible at your doctor's convenience. On the other hand, if you're unlucky enough to have a serious unexpected complication, you're essentially screwed during homebirth. I'm really scared of being pushed unecessary interventions and being rushed through labour (emphasis on unecessary, I know interventions are needed sometimes), especially being a first time mom who statistically might experience a longer labour.

No. 325146

Laying on your back is pretty much the least comfortable or convenient childbirth position. Squatting is a much better and natural position, as gravity too helps.

No. 325262

Absolutely never do this for your first birth. Nothing in life can prepare you for that shit and you do NOT know how you are going to react. I went in thinking that I'm going to have an all natural birth, no need for an epidural etc. Well I had no fucking idea how absolutely mind-shattering the pain of labor is and I started to panic so much in the hospital because my contractions were SO CLOSE together that I never got a single break in between, it was just pure and constant agony until I was begging for an epidural. I was so glad to have supportive nurses and doctors around me who could immediately administer aid for me. I was panicking so hard there was no way I could have even pushed because the pain was so bad it just made me shut down completely. Unless you know how you are going to react during birth then you should NOT BE ALONE. The second birth is usually easier and you will already know what you are in for, but personally I would never have a home-birth just for the sake of my baby. If your baby dies because the cord is wrapped around their neck or compressed in the birth canal then you would never forgive yourself.

No. 325961

How much weight did you gain post-pregnancy?

No. 326913

I had a home birth yesterday! My care provider was a practice of certified nurse midwives and I live about 7 minutes from an excellent hospital. The main downside was zero pain relief. Plenty of birth centers in the area offer a nitrous oxide for pain, as does my nearest hospital, but that's not something legally permitted in home births where I live. In the UK and probably other countries, this is an option, so that would make home birth more appealing. Nothing could have prepared me for contractions, but if I was dead set on and unmedicated in any setting that would have been the same. It was a lot more planning and preparation for me, and if my Nigel wasn't totally on board and helpful with the planning it wouldn't have worked. It was nice to be in a familiar setting, and much easier to feel confident in sticking to what you want without getting bullied by a provider. They took care of cleaning up, thank goodness. I did worry about the neighbors hearing, though, especially around 3am. It was so good to be in our own home and own bed after. I wouldn't recommend it if you live somewhere rural where a hospital transfer would take a long time, or with a provider with lesser certifications. Home birth is definitely a choice that I feel privileged to have been able to make.

No. 327013

I didn't gain any weight. I lost 80% of the weight I gained in the first 4 weeks and the last 20% within 4 months postpartum. Breastfeeding makes the weight fall off.

No. 327048

Same here. Baby is almost 8 months and I even actively try to eat extra in order to produce milk but now I'm exactly the weight I was before pregnancy, just with bigger boobies so I cant fit in stuff I used to wear lol.

No. 327051

Congrats nonna! You're incredibly powerful and inspiring for all women. I'm glad you had this option and that it all worked out good for you. Now you can go straight to enjoying that dreamlike newborn phase without any hospital vibes. Great stuff!

No. 327309

File: 1683753108909.jpeg (22.48 KB, 646x528, 98434-meme-the-pepe-frog-sad.j…)

I just found out I'm pregnant with a boy. How do I raise him in a way that won't result in him trooning out or becoming an incel?

No. 327314

Have an emotionally involved father and don't let him have unsupervised internet access.

No. 327315

Lots of outdoor activities, hiking, playing in the woods taking him foraging, hunting, gardening, tending to animals etc. Skills and hobbies like woodworking, knitting, sewing, drawing, music etc is also very good.

Kids who grow up around and to appreciate nature tend to end up more adjusted from what I can tell. Gives them less instant stimulus, calms them and provides a good sense of achievement, as well as builds their muscle and hand eye coordination in a healthy way. Make him appreciate and like things rooted in the real world.

No. 327356

Sorry if i’m shitting up this thread, I don’t have a baby but just a thought about how people around me talk about kids/babies.
I’m a very young adult. Kinda sucks to hear fellow gen z around me shitting on having kids/“hating” kids because they think it’s edgy and cool to be “independent” (as if mothers can’t be). I’ve always dreamt of getting married, having a baby or two, doing “traditional” mom things like cooking for the family, etc… and I always feel weird to say this around my friends
It’s a little sad how so much of gen z is focused on personal and financial success that many ppl feel like having a family is the biggest money drain of their life that is going to break down their career so that it’s not even something to strive for. I mean there is some truth to that because kids are expensive as fuck, but after talking to a lot of moms, I just see so much happiness that comes out of the financial and personal sacrifice of having kids. Props to all you moms out there :) there seems to be so much struggle but I respect you all so much(:))

No. 327363

This, unfortunately so much of how boys turn out is based on the male role models they have.

No. 327369

I know a lot of kids with no dad who didnt troon out or incelize, while there are kids with loving dads who did all that and then some…
Don't let the internet raise them, be involved in his/her life, maybe homeschool PLUS after school sport or dance so theyre not a loner with no irl world experience.

No. 327371

If this was true then we wouldn't see so many shitty kids who have a seemingly loving mom and loving dad who are desperate for help
Although the mom being naive and letting a stranger come by and *olest the kids out of sheer stupidity does have a bad outcome yeah

No. 327372

A lot of them can barely afford a one bedroom apartment, I don't see how they'll be able to afford feeding + health insurance for a whole family unless they're trust fund kids. I think part of their reaction is also because of how often women are pressured into it. Not saying that women who enjoy having kids don't exist, just that I can see why some may be against it if they're being told constantly from a young age to do it or come from a strict family, culture etc., like being told/expected to do something often makes people want to do the opposite or it just feels tiresome.

No. 327373

>dreamlike newborn phase
She's beautiful, but dreamlike would be a lie. Posting this from a sitz bath to heal from 2nd degree tearing while my husband cleans up colostrum vomit and some sort of foul diaper situation. We knew it would be hard but nothing could have prepared us. My mom is an angel and stops by daily to help.

No. 327408

Being a mom is the hardest and most underappreciated job in the world. I still wouldn't want to do anything else tho. One hug, smile or kiss from my daughter makes up for all the nights of screaming during teething and colic. I think the most magical thing about raising kids is learning about a new kind of love you never thought possible. The kind of love a mom feels for her child is the biggest love in the world.

No. 327466

Loving dad isnt enough, he has to not be a complete wimp, which is hard to find in modern men. Not saying he has to be über macho, but like, men nowadays are more feminine than most women and scared of manual labour and have no stoicism. They're basically overgrown children to their wives.

No. 327625

It's not just about being loving, but the parents have to set a good example and guide their children too.
Stop using "feminine" as a negative term. Just say they are childish and weak.

No. 327771

My mom and aunt both did home births for three out of six kids. Midwives there for two of those and no complications for any of them, they both said it was because huge hips run in the family. However, my sister did both of hers in the hospital, and her first hurt so badly that she honestly thought she was going to die and so the doctor did a c-section. But the hospital also dropped the ball a million times during her labor and the doctor admitted that he wanted to go home so they did the c-section sooner rather than later, so hers might have gone a lot smoother if she had had a midwife or doula.

No. 327782

Stoicism isn't much better imo.

No. 327792

Being in control of feelings is an important trait fathers should have, I wouldnt want to raise kids around men who screams and have tantrums over video games like men nowadays do

No. 329015

Scrotey post.

No. 329017

Nonna could have worded it better, but it's kinda true. Men generally are kinda shit

No. 329025

I've seen tradwives say it this way, and some posts in this thread can be borderline trad sometimes.

No. 329286

I'm convinced some of you just throw a dart at a post to call it scrotey

No. 329684

Complaining about men being 'wimps' and 'feminine' is scrotey language. Emotional instability is actually a masculine trait and every woman knows this.

No. 329805

Kek no it's not. Shit like this is the reason why lolcow is slow as molasses now. You have to walk on eggshells to the point where you can be accused of a scrotes while shitting on scrotes all because of the words you used to describe men being crappy

No. 329806

nta but anons have always been like this here, it's not new. the reason lc is slow now is because shaymin nuked half he userbase's access to the site for several months, not because most anons dislike tradfaggotry

No. 329828

I agree. I am tired of people using feminine as an insult. Just say they are weak.

No. 329872

God whatever, you know what I mean, is splitting hair that important? A man should not be an unstable man child whiny little boy, is that better?

No. 330242

We are moving across the continent with an 8 month old baby and I am soooo afraid of the long plane trip, it will be over 13 hours all together. She is a good baby when entertained, fed and awake but she is used to sleeping in a dark room with white noise, laying snuggled up next to me being nursed to sleep so I have no idea how I am going to get her to sleep on the plane at all when it's bright and there are people all around. We booked first class to make it more comfortable for her and have more space but I am very scared everyone there will hate us and give us the evil eye any time she makes a noise.

Anyone have any tips? I already bought some new toys that she has never seen before plus I will bring a laptop because she likes to watch sesame street and disney songs. Grateful for any and all advice!

No. 330277

you could try to nurse her during take off and landing so that the ears hurt less. Theres also some ear muffs for babies so the noise isnt as hard on her.

No. 331422

True, but I feel like more and more posters have started leaving because it feels like walking on eggshells to not get called a scrotes. I went from visiting lolcow everyday now I barely visit once a month anymore

No. 331800

I cant wait to be a mom yet i hate men with a passion and dont want to deal with one yet being a single mom is incredibly difficult and i have a lot of plans regrading my career and studying

No. 331804

in exactly the same situation. i really want to become a mom soon, but men are horrendous.
sending support your way.

No. 331843

In the same boat as you but I'm closing in on 36 and for me personally, I feel that's approaching too old territory.

No. 331959

My mom had me at 39 and I turned out fine (yes I use lolcow but I promise I am not autistic). If you have a son instead of a daughter tho there is a big chance he will be a sperg. Also in your late 30s there is a higher chance of pregnancy complications.

No. 332602

There is risk but not that much. The biggest concerns is simply planning your babies life around yours. Please do not bring humans into this world if you do not bother thinking about how you will plan for them into adulthood.

I see this among gen z parents as well where a lot of them are trapped or cannot grow because they are too worried about their parents or their parents never helped them prepare for adulthood (because they're worried about their end of life plans themselves)like what usually happens

No. 332604

i feel like thats not too old , plenty women i know had a kid (usually their second , though) in their 30s with little to no complications. 40s is where it gets tough

No. 332621

At the local elementary schools, there are so many parents who are in their late 30s, well into their mid 40s. It's honestly rarer to see parents in their 20s, and with elementary school you're dealing with children in the 4-10 year range, so subtracting their child's age to theirs reveals a lot of them had children in their late 20s and 30s and a lot of the elementary school children reveal they're only children or even the oldest child of the family.
I think it's more of an effect of the current state of the economy and the general culture surrounding parents and actually giving birth to children. The workforce is unnecessarily bombarding the average employee with so much stress, making claims of needing more productivity to make everyone look busier than they actually are because they've employed someone who doesn't know how to do the bare minimum and would rather not discipline the individual, let them go, and hire someone else, but have everyone else make up the work for them. More employees are calling in, thus more employees are being called in to cover. Money is scarce, inflation is rapidly increasing compared to the raises we're getting. Where's the time to properly prepare for having a child when you don't feel like you're making enough and/or you keep getting called to cover because you'd like to make a few extra bucks? I hear so many people say, "There's people who have kids all the time and when they're young", but really… where are they? It's really not that common anymore.

No. 332624

Has anyone here ever babytrapped a man before and also how effective is it?

Don't judge me please

No. 332631

Not me personally but I have watched it happen with people I know and it does not work. Great way to become a single mother.

No. 332697

My newborn is so tiny and perfect it makes me a little sad that she's getting bigger. I love how healthy and strong she is, and it's good that she's growing, but these moments feel so precious.

No. 332710

One way ticket to single momhood. not worth it

No. 332737

She sounds amazing, I’m glad you’re enjoying this time anon

No. 332798

You cannot actually trap a man, it doesn’t work that way. Usually a man traps a woman because men don’t feel the same attachment or empathy towards a child that a woman feels . Just don’t do it

No. 333288

The only thing you can probably (but not definitely) get by doing this is child support payments, which almost never make up for the cost of raising a child.

No. 333334

Not a mother, but I've read several reports that when some women have had a baby, the baby's father becomes incredibly jealous of their own child - to the point of violence against the woman.

If you are trying to babytrap a man, all I can see the best outcome being him leaving and actually paying support, after that all the other outcomes are miserable.

No. 333456

How bad is having a baby in your early 30s? I am very nervous but I want babies…

No. 333522

It’s totally fine. Why don’t you go to an OBGYN and talk about your concerns with them?

No. 333571

Yes. I'm so tired of TikTok moms that are like 22 with 4 kids (most of the time they just post thirst traps). I know this one mom who's a major cow. Her entire page is thirst traps and her showing off being a trailer park mom of 4 while making the most basic crappy food possible that's very little on the child's plate. Ofc you can't question it because you'll immediately get bombarded with "stop mom shaming, she knows how much her kids eat she knows best" or some super weird and rare hypothetical that would totally explain why she isn't feeding her kids well other than she can't afford to

Tbh I have no problem with lower income moms. Living in a trailer with 2 kids at a young age? Sure, 3 is pushing it. 4 your just extremely stupid and irresponsible with your pregnancies (back to backs are dangerous) and don't care about the quality of your child's like as long as if you get clout

No. 333572

Yes. I'm so tired of TikTok moms that are like 22 with 4 kids (most of the time they just post thirst traps). I know this one mom who's a major cow. Her entire page is thirst traps and her showing off being a trailer park mom of 4 while making the most basic crappy food possible that's very little on the child's plate. Ofc you can't question it because you'll immediately get bombarded with "stop mom shaming, she knows how much her kids eat she knows best" or some super weird and rare hypothetical that would totally explain why she isn't feeding her kids well other than she can't afford to

Tbh I have no problem with lower income moms. Living in a trailer with 2 kids at a young age? Sure, 3 is pushing it. 4 your just extremely stupid and irresponsible with your pregnancies (back to backs are dangerous) and don't care about the quality of your child's like as long as if you get clout

No. 333574

Yes. I'm so tired of TikTok moms that are like 22 with 4 kids (most of the time they just post thirst traps). I know this one mom who's a major cow. Her entire page is thirst traps and her showing off being a trailer park mom of 4 while making the most basic crappy food possible that's very little on the child's plate. Ofc you can't question it because you'll immediately get bombarded with "stop mom shaming, she knows how much her kids eat she knows best" or some super weird and rare hypothetical that would totally explain why she isn't feeding her kids well other than she can't afford to

Tbh I have no problem with lower income moms. Living in a trailer with 2 kids at a young age? Sure, 3 is pushing it. 4 your just extremely stupid and irresponsible with your pregnancies (back to backs are dangerous) and don't care about the quality of your child's like as long as if you get clout

No. 333576

Does not work. Remember, men can easily leave and you will be the one now miserable because you don't have the man you were obsessed enough with to do this for and are saddled with the reality of a child you wanted for the wrong reasons. Think of your future, and thinknof the hypothetical child's future. Not worth it.
This is true, my own aunt had major drama immediately after giving birth because her husband was blowing up at her and having tantrums out of jealousy. Her sisters all had to intervene and camp out at the house all because this man was jealous of a mother tending to her 1 month old newborn.
And in case anybody has preconceptions about the circumstances under which this might happen, this was an upper middle class family in America where both parents where 35+.

No. 333854

If a moid gets jealous because of a newborn he is automatically a terrible dad, husband and person. Even just jealousy aside. Your wife got ripped open either via c section or vaginal birth and shes doing enough work to make you jealous? He shouldnt even have had time to think about jealousy

I thought about this with MrsMidwest and Abby&Matt too. They probably only do it to prove how trad they are by keeping the woman barefoot and pregnant and have no regards on how this will affect the baby either

No. 334306

File: 1686296201671.jpg (967.57 KB, 5760x3840, The-Laundress-Baby-Collection-…)

Anons now that laundress has been recalled what are some better alternatives for that delicious smell? I like noodle and boo and dreft doesn't hit the same like it use to

No. 334343

This happens with most men who were spoiled by their mothers. They make their wife play mommy for them and once the baby arrives and they have the share their "mommy" they act like a retarded toddler. This isn't the woman's fault and it's not easy to foresee this outcome as most men hide this facade of theirs until the baby is born.

No. 334398

better to ring trap a man

No. 335322

I'm looking for high a high quality plushie for my daughter, that can be shipped within the US. Most of the ones I see in stores and online are such cheap crap, all made in China from the cheapest fabrics and with no love put into them at all. Do any of you know a good site to order something that's actually made with love? Maybe Etsy?

No. 335324

Make one yourself. My most cherished plushies from childhood were ones my mom made me. And she is not an artist at all. The wonky handmade look always made them extra lovable to me and knowing my mom made them for me out of love is so cute.

No. 335331

handmade plushes made in America

made to order

maybe those? I kind of want the adelie penguin

No. 335752

unscented free and clear is the best to use, enjoy the natural smell of your baby
I really like GUND and jellycat personally. Also nip brands are good.
I would be careful with etsy bc there's a million chinese drop shippers now.

No. 335762

File: 1686880433001.jpg (6.06 KB, 225x224, images.jpg)

More of a Mommy talk I guess but we took our daughter to build-a-bear for the first time for her birthday and she loved it so much.
She picked out everything pink and "shparkly" and a tutu and I love her for that its so freaking cute.
When we got back I was in the bathroom and I heard her run up to her daddy and say "Daddy I'm happy"
She's just so sweet and I'm so happy we can do nice things for her like this

No. 335766

Oh my god how I want a daughter so badly.

I have such bad baby fever and I'm only 22, I've been trying my best to avoid the feels too much but I'm SO eager. I've had baby fever in the past pretty badly but this is like NEW. Oh how I want children.

No. 335770

Its the hardest and most rewarding thing I've ever done.
Though definitely never rush it nonnie i would never want this with just any moid, you have plenty of time.

No. 335972

I have a toddler and am pregnant. I keep having an impending sense of doom for no reason. has anyone else had this?

No. 335977

File: 1686955219069.jpg (40.28 KB, 535x425, kiwi.jpg)

When did everyone start getting normal vaginal discharge back postpartum while breastfeeding, and was it an immediate precursor to ovulation resuming?

No. 335986

Around 7-8 months for me, but still no ovulation since I am still breastfeeding.

No. 336087

How can I tell I am ovulating? Even when it was confirmed via ultrasound I have zero physical signs and everytime I take an ovulation test it is positive

No. 336186

You can tell this comment was made by someone who doesn't have a baby. Free and clears simply don't get spit up stains and smells out as much as an enzyme cleaner does

No. 336229

Nah girl i spot treat any stains and have never had a problem.

No. 336259

Do you know how ovulation tests work? They are not like pregnancy tests where a second line popping up means positive. They are only positive when the line is darker than the control line.

No. 336313

When was your last check up and blood work? The doom could be a sign of anxiety (it makes sense that you would be anxious to be a mother of a newborn and a toddler), but your body can also be trying to tell you something is wrong. I doubt this is the case for you since you're young enough to have a pregnancy, but my grandmother felt an impending sense of doom in the week leading up to her heart attack.

No. 336344

Seconding bloodwork. It might be as simple as a deficiency, when I'm low in vitamin c i get that feeling.

No. 336382

My blood work and everything is okay, I do believe in gut feelings but my gut feeling has always been unreliable in the past. I found out it was because of how my SSRIs are reacting due to me stopping them because of pregnancy

No. 336514

First time mom here. What items can I get second hand for baby? Im assuming things that can get really dirty and are difficult to clean are a big no like camp cots, but what about prams, car seats etc?

No. 336539

Everything but mattresses and car seats (car seats are usually outdated and don't meet modern safety standards). There's usually numbers on every item that you can look up on the companies site to see if it's been recalled or not. Also some companies (typically Evenflo and 1st safety) will just send you new things if you use the email registration

No. 337122

Swings, bouncy seats, bassinets and things like that yes.
Definitely clothes.
Would avoid mattresses and car seats like another anon said. You can definitely get a stroller secondhand but a stroller with infant carseat combo is a good thing to look into.
I honestly have like 4 strollers lmao but i think its good to get some kind of small lightweight stroller once the bany is sitting.

No. 337164

Sometimes local fire departments have carseat distribution programs. The dept I used to work at had one.

No. 337167

I'd never buy a used carseat cause you can't know for sure it's never been in an accident already.

No. 337331

I’m officially a mom now. A week ago, wife gave birth and we have a beautiful girl. I’m not gonna say her name here ofc, but she’s named after the flowers that were the theme of me and wife’s wedding
I love her so much it’s insane. She looks a lot like my wife, with skin tone, but she has both of our hair color. And surprise, we didn’t know this but the donor had a Heterochromia gene bc she has one eye color of wifes parents.
She’s been at home for a week and honestly, she’s such a good baby. She only wakes up for about 10 minutes to feed, then goes right back to sleep, even through night. Wife and I are so full of joy it’s insane. I love being a mom. I love babies. And I love my baby

No. 337395

>hears heartbeat on fetal doppler
>feel movement
>gets pregnancy tummy
>no periods and all other pregnancy symptoms
>negative tests

i feel crazy sometimes

No. 337458

Congrats, nona!

No. 337668

Heterochromia can be purely aesthetic but sometimes it is a symptom of a health condition. You should ask your doctor for more information to make sure your baby is healthy.


No. 337669

Heterochromia can be purely aesthetic but can also be a symptom of a health condition. You should ask your doctor for more information to make sure your baby is healthy.


No. 337670

Heterochromia can be purely aesthetic but sometimes it is a symptom of a health condition. You should ask your doctor for more information to make sure your baby is healthy.


No. 337781

If you are far enough along to feel movement you don't test positive on pregnancy tests anymore. At that point you have so much HCG that it actually overwhelms the test. Go to a doctor and get a blood test!

No. 338338

My partner drives me up the wall sometimes when he’s taking care of our baby. I’ll breastfeed her, then he’ll take her to change her nappy while I go for a shower, and by the time I come back downstairs he’s giving her a bottle. ‘She was hungry’ like hell she was! She either wanted to play and be entertained, or she was getting overtired and needed to be helped to sleep. And then I have to pump to make up the lost milk, which means by the time she wants to go back on the breast there’s very little milk and she just gets angry. Like please man, just spend 10 minutes making funny faces at her and telling her she’s a very smelly baby, she loves it.
And on a similar note, it is so clear he doesn’t see nursing as actually feeding the baby. We had to bottle feed formula and expressed milk at the start because she was too sleepy to nurse properly and my supply dipped quite a lot. So I spent weeks pumping, forcing her on the breast, eating all the right food, drinking all the right drinks, just to be able to nurse her and we finally got to that point! All for him to say ‘shall I give her a bottle’ when she cries after nursing. Pal, she cries for more than just hunger. She’s gassy as fuck. ‘We really need to give her a bottle at night.’ Why? I nurse her to sleep and she sleeps for 7 hours? What is the issue? Why do you want to wake her (and us) to force a bottle into her? Let us sleep!
This turned into way more of a rant than I intended, sorry nonas.

No. 338354

Has anyone tried Pumping Pals, Pumpables, LacTek, or any of the other "comfort flanges" on the market? Are they any good? Are they worth it? I only pump once a day right now, but it's not the most comfortable experience even with the correct flange size.
Congratulations nona! Enjoy your little family and all the precious moments! May your daughter have a lifetime of health and happiness!
I am upset on your behalf reading that, nona. It sounds like your husband has no understanding of the effort you put into feeding your daughter breastmilk. If you have any free visits left (you should have 6 a year if you are in the US, regardless of which insurance plan you have) you could try having a lactation consultant come by while your husband is home. This place https://lactationnetwork.com/ lets you input your insurance, location, and desired appointment times and matches you with a consultant. One thing they do is a weighted feed. Don't mess it up like I did and feed the baby right before the appointment (my issue wasn't intake level, but I was still curious to know how much she ate) because you want your husband to see that the baby is getting x ounces when you breastfeed. Usually a lactation consultant sends you to fill out an intake questionnaire asking what your concerns are, and I'd suggest telling her all of this.

No. 338363

I feel you. Not the same exact issues that you have, but the same general attitude of my husband just pisses me off. He thinks he knows everything better despite not doing any research whatsoever on parenting or babies while I have spent 10 months reading absolutely everything. So he will make dumb suggestions like "Just let her cry herself to sleep" at like a couple of weeks old and doesn't understand why I won't just let her cry and then tells me I am not allowed to be frustrated with the baby ever because I "won't even try his advice".

Whenever it's his time to watch the baby so I can shower or do chores he just plops infront of the TV and gets frustrated that this doesn't entertain the baby at all cause she is way too young to watch TV or he lets her sit in his lap at the computer and lets her smash his keyboard until she gets bored of doing that and starts crying. He puts the least amount of effort to entertain her possible so while I am doing stuff I am constantly hearing her cry and so I have to rush doing anything and am always stressed out.

Men are truly no help with a baby but they expect to be praised for doing anything at all like changing a diaper once a day. I know there are probably men out there that are different, but I don't know a single woman who doesn't have this exact experience.

No. 338410

How old is your baby? This would absolutely piss me off so much. Could you just tell him feeding is your sole responsibility from now on and he isn't to interfere. This is how me and my partner do it - my baby is EBF so he doesn't get a look in until we start weaning. He'll put the baby down for naps more and things like that so its a bit more balanced (though like another poster said nost duties fall to mum in the end)

No. 338444

I use pumping pals silicone flanges and I never use them. I also feel like my body is use to the normal flanges because my baby had a feeding tube most of her life and my breastfeeding journey has mostly just been pumping with those medela ones in the hospital

No. 338445

Woops I am 7 months preg

No. 338451

I found out a few days ago that my wife is pregnant, and I'm worrying way more than I thought I would. I think part of it is because we were caught off guard by this. When we had our test after the insemination, it came back negative, which felt absolutely crushing for us. We decided to put trying on hold until next year due to the emotional toll it was taking. Fast-forward just over a month and my wife has sensitive breasts, her emotions feel a bit off and she's getting unusual food cravings. We tested three times to be sure, and they all come back positive. As happy as I am, I just sank into this state of panic. That night we found out we were expecting, I had a nightmare that I was a penguin with an egg I had to protect. Everything around me was melting because of global warming and I had to get my egg somewhere safe, but in the end it broke. I woke up with my heart racing and tears in my eyes, having to explain this ridiculous dream to my wife. Since then there's just been an edge to everything. When I'm exercising, I'm pushing myself harder than usual because I'm obsessing about being healthy for my wife and baby. When I'm working on my business, I'm putting in more hours than normal because I'm focusing hard on long term planning, so they're both provided for should anything happen to me; even though I've already set up financial plans for that I'm still paranoid it's not enough. I'm overanalysing everything my wife does and asking her if she's ok probably a hundred times a day. Past couple nights I struggled to sleep and just watch her instead. This horrible survival instinct nagging away at me that if I fall asleep, something bad will happen and I'll lose them both. I should be jumping for joy, but instead I'm a total wreck. Is this normal? Will is subside after a while? I'm trying to distract myself and work on nutritious meals I can make for my wife as cooking relaxes me, but it's so hard to switch off.

No. 338452

Why did he even want kids

No. 338461

lol congratulations!

No. 338514

How long does the phase last where babies bite you constantly? My baby is 9 months and has been consistently teething since 4 months old and she now has 6 teeth and it hurts A LOT when she bites me, which is her absolute favorite thing to do. She also pinches me, kicks me, scratches me, grabs onto my hair, skin, nose, lips and pulls really hard and stabs her fingers into my nostrils and eyeballs. Every time I take her hand and I firmly say "Ouch! Don't bite/pinch/scratch mommy. That hurts!" But she doesn't stop. I am literally covered in bruises like I am a domestic violence victim. I just want this to end.

No. 339158

A few days ago me and my bf were snuggling in bed, he took a huge sniff in my neck and said it smelled "like a baby". Took a test today and I am indeed pregnant. We don't exactly have all our shit together, but we're both 28, and I never wanted to be a 30 + yrs old first mom I also just don't feel like terminating, can't wait to meet my baby !

No. 339160

Spank her?

No. 339162

>Spanking a 9 months baby
Are you mentally ill by any chance?

No. 339163

I don’t have children, but I think maybe giving her something else to help her satisfy her needs of biting, scratching and pulling could work? Like a toy or something. Or maybe find a way to make her get tired like lots of games, reading sessions, baby gym.
I don’t know, I just think she may be bored or tired and that doing those things like kicking you or pinching you are a way for her to distract herself because she gets a reaction out of you.

No. 339164

And this is why you take everything itt with a grain of salt because a literal 12 year old, mentally challenged retard or whoever else who doesn't even have a kid could be advising you.

No. 339165

I am sorry anon but this post is making me laugh kek. I second the anon who said to distract her and keep her busy.

No. 339167

That's what I do AAAALLLLL DAY, but she will drop any toy or teether I give her and go straight to biting me again. We literally have spend hundreds of dollars on toys and teethers that will keep her busy for 2 minutes at most and I spend 24 hours a day taking care of her and entertaining her every waking second.

No. 339173

Give her a drumstick/beef rib to chew on.

No. 339179

That is a choking hazzard.

No. 339183

It is? Nta but where I'm from people give babies bones to chew on all the time kek

No. 339189

The bone can splinter and get stuck in their throat. Especially chicken bones. That's really not safe at all.

No. 339191

When I was a kid pig ears worked great for our golden retriever

No. 339205

I feel like if the bone is thick enough it should be fine. Like a chicken drumstick bone. Idk, I'm not trying to disagree it's just what I've seen my whole life.

No. 339216

Has anyone else had experience with sudden moles/freckles on their breasts during pregnancy? With my first pregnancy I suddenly got three small moles (definitely moles) under my left nipple. Took forever to notice because of the placement, but they were ultimately fine. I’m on my second pregnancy now and just recently had a black raised freckle appear on my areola. Has this happened to anyone else, or am I just going to have to resign myself to get a chunk of my nipple sliced off for a fucking biopsy? Of course when I try to google for any information at all, the only thing that shows up is about 100 pages of melanoma scaremongering.

No. 339228

Its a baby, not a dog. A baby cant chew through a chicken thigh bone. A chicken bone is unsafe for a dog bc it can crush it up, a big leg bone with the little bone removed is safe and has been done for centuries.

No. 339229

No. 339251

Lol I knew that not everyone does it but didn't realize it would be weird to some people.

No. 339305

whats yalls favorite baby names?? rn sonya is top of my list for female names ,and veronica. im blanking on boy names tho

No. 339375

We’ve landed on Margaret (Maggie) for a girl but cannot agree on a boy’s name. I prefer more “classic” names and have suggested William, Daniel, Oliver… I want a nice name that has at least one nickname with it. We’re not finding out the gender and I feel more strongly it’s a girl, so I’m sort of just hoping we don’t need a boy name this time around lol.

No. 339376

File: 1688830766862.jpeg (241.89 KB, 640x427, BF6A8718-6C01-4A01-863A-622981…)

Got my first big item - Babybay co-sleeper bassinet. I really wanna set it up to see how it looks but I’m not due til mid-November so it’ll just be in our 1 bedroom apartment taking our space for 4 months kek.

No. 339432

Say NO that hurts mommy, set her down somewhere safe and walk away for a few minutes.
She'll get it.
You're doing too much for her, you're not a clown you're her mother. She will learn to explore and play on her own.
That is so upsetting I'm sorry nonna, overfeeding a baby can be really bad for them!
Might as well leave her in a bouncer or swing at that point he is more useless than a machine
congrats nonnie!
That's… for dogs

No. 339435

I love the name Margaret. Maggie is such a cute nickname! My girls name if I ever have one is Mary, but I’ve considered Margaret too. Never thought of the nickname, it’s so so cute ahh. Good luck on finding a boys name!

No. 339640

Sorry if this is the wrong thread but I’m paranoid and wanted some advice from some more experienced women. Is it retarded that I’m worried I’m pregnant even though I’m literally on my period right now? My boyfriend and I had sex a few times for the first time last month and each time we used protection but since we were both virgins with not much experience putting on condoms and I’m not on hbc, I’m so paranoid something went wrong kek. I started bleeding 28 days after the start of my last period so it came right on time within my usual cycle length but it’s not as heavy as it normally is and I’m not cramping as much. The logical part of me wants to attribute that to the fact that I’m actually exercising for the first time in my life and losing some weight but the paranoid part of me is thinking it’s implantation bleeding or something. I only started bleeding last night and I know stress (like stressing about being pregnant kek) and weight changes can also cause changes to your cycle, but I think part of why I’m so paranoid is I’m in a state where you have to get an abortion before week 6 of pregnancy so I really want to be proactive in recognizing any signs of pregnancy. We did have protected sex twice about 5-6 days before presumed ovulation and then again twice about a week and a half after presumed ovulation. I haven’t been temping to know for sure when ovulation is, just basing it off of cervical fluid. Logically, I know I’m being retarded as fuck since the chances of it happening are so so low and probably almost impossible based on all these factors, but since I’m so new to this and all my friends are either gay or on hbc, it would really help to hear that from women who have experience with this and know what to look for lol. I hope everyone’s pregnancies are going well and that your little ones are happy and healthy!

No. 340138

Highly unlikely that you're pregnant nonnie.
However if this is going to be a constant worry for you, you should buy a big box of pregnancy tests on amazon.
If you're doing condoms and NFP its VERY unlikely you're pregnant.

No. 340151

If the blood is red then it's not implantation bleeding. You can buy a whole box of really cheap pregnancy tests on Amazon from the easy@home brand. They dont come in a nice plastic stick but thats what they use in doctors offices and you get like 50 of them for a couple of bucks. Cheap piece of mind to have around.

No. 340468

I hate that my baby sees me at my best and worst when I’m home alone with her all day every day, and only sees her dad at his best because he’s never overstimulated and tired from constantly juggling naps/feeding/playing/changing/etc. He goes to work but we literally work in the same place and it’s the most laid back little local shop so I know he spends most of the day just hanging out at the till and reading a book; then when he comes home he’ll make dinner for us both which is nice but it means I’m stuck holding our little velcro baby all morning, afternoon, and evening. It just makes me so sad knowing that he’s always going to seem like the fun parent because he’s always well rested, always has time to eat and drink enough, always able to leave the house and do whatever he wants without a second thought.

No. 340478

Having a baby has just solidified that men are the weaker sex. I carried this baby for 9 months, went through a brutal labour to birth her, and now here I am 3 months later managing to juggle her and everything else that needs to be done; all while he can’t figure out how to make a cup of coffee while holding her. I carry her for hours every day while going about my day, and he can’t even hold her for an hour to help her nap because it hurts his arms. Men are so inferior.

No. 340479

>because it hurts his arms
He's lying.

No. 340486

Tell him it’s hurting his arms because he never does and isn’t that so sad? Doesn’t he want the kind of muscle strength that comes from holding his infant daughter? Alternatively if he isn’t violent you could try the whole “sweetheart a man your age should be able to hold an infant, maybe you should do some strength training?” Either way it’s an excuse, the more he does it the easier it will become… unless he is physically disabled or unwell?

No. 340487

Anon please look up weaponized incompetence. That's exactly what he's doing to you. As much as it sucks to say, even teenage boys are stronger than you are, so he's lying out of his ass when he says it hurts. Unless he has health issues it's simply not possible he can't hold a baby for an hour, it's not possible. Partnered men everywhere use weaponized incompetence to get out of parental tasks and household chores, now you know what it is you don't have to fall victim to it like so many other women.

No. 340488

Does anyone havs recommendations for communities where expecting mothers and new mothers discuss all that is pregnancy and child rearing? I’m planning to get pregnant and it would be nice to see what others have gone through and are going through. Obviously a community that doesn’t center gender nonsense would be ideal but I understand that’s difficult in current times.

No. 340503

are you looking for mumsnet?

No. 340513

Listen to these nonas, >>340138 >>340151
Pregnancy tests are held to federal standards, so even if they're the shitty fifty cent ones, they'll still work.

No. 340530

Something like mumsnet but US centric, most of what I’ve found seems steeped in politics.

No. 340576

you could try the groups/communities on pregnancy apps like Flo and Glow Nuture. they’re not solely US based, i don’t think, but they’re less judgey than facebook moms.

No. 340745

Thanks nonas! Immediately after I posted this I started experiencing period symptoms way more like my usual period, worse cramps, heavier bleeding etc. I also read up more about implantation bleeding and saw that it didn’t even look close to my blood on the first day, mine was way heavier so I really was just being retarded. I also took a test after my period ended to be absolutely sure and it was, predictably, negative. I think safely getting through one cycle makes me feel a lot better and way less paranoid but I will definitely look into those Amazon tests. Thanks for your responses!

No. 340960

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I might be pregnant again, had a super duper faint line on a test this morning. It might have just been an indent, but I feel super bloated and have had some weird cramps the past couple of days. I am still breastfeeding my 10 month old so I don't have my period back yet so no clue really. We've obviously not been preventing it from happening and I would be happy to be pregnant again since I want more kids and am over 30 already so I don't really have the time to wait too long im between.

Thinking of how to tell my husband, I know he will be super happy about it so I might get an outfit for our daughter that says "big sister" on it. Hope its gonna be a girl again!

No. 341102

Congrats nonnie that's super cute.
You can definitely get pregnant before your first period, it happened to me too.
The big sister tshirt is an adorable idea though it may take him a minute to get it lol

No. 341114

Thank you! I took another test this morning and it was stark white and now I am super confused lol. I guess it was just an indent (the First Response tests used to be so good, wtf happened???) but I still feel soooo pregnant. I guess it's just hormones going wild and making me go nuts.

No. 341325

Any nonas in here have twins? My wife thinks we're having twins as she's way more hungry and fatigued than what we've been told to expect, and also showing quite prominently for 11 weeks. We did reciprocal IVF though, and as my mother always cursed me for being a hungry baby and making her gain weight (I was 10lbs and tall for a newborn) I figured it could just be my genes? Idk. We're first time mothers so this is kinda mystifying. Should get our appointment for the first scan in the next two weeks and find out either way. I just don't know what to expect.

No. 341790

I had preemie twins and it was exhausting and I didn't get hunger until I was breastfeeding. I was ravenous when breastfeeding twins

No. 341807

Walter (Wally), Frederick (Freddy), Zachary (Zack), Simon (Sy), Gregory (Greg), Archibald (Archie), Arthur (Art), Alfred (Alfie), Abraham (Abe)

No. 341868

Yeah, my wife is really wiped out atm. I was worried she was ill, but she got the all clear from the doctor who told her it was the effects of the pregnancy. Did you have a feeling that you were expecting twins before your first scan? Nearly everywhere I look online seems to mention that a lot of women just have this intuitive feeling that they're carrying twins, which is how my wife feels. Luckily, we were planning on having 2-3 kids anyway. I just wasn't expecting it to play out like this.

No. 341898

I'm an over 30 here interested in having a baby. How was your experience?

I live in an area where everyone has babies young and people keep telling me how hard it'll be for me, so I'm nervous. I really want children though.

I just wanted your feelings as an over 30 with their first baby!

No. 342030

Another mom over 30 here. The pregnancy is going very well so far. I am in the second trimester and the baby looks healthy as can be. All my unpleasant symptoms have been mild and I get bursts of euphoria when I feel him move.

10/10 experience, would recommend.

No. 342100

Thank you, nona. This gives me a lot of hope. I wasn't sure I wanted kids but the past year I've been having these reoccurring dreams about the same son and daughter, and waking up feeling heart broken they aren't real. My husband wants children too and I feel like we're in a place where we could give a child a good life. My only fear has been my age but I'm happy it isn't a huge problem.
Gonna talk to a doctor about it this week, wish me luck!

No. 342325

30 is an extremely normal age to have. Child and the most fertile age range with the best birth outcomes is 25-35 you'll be okay nonnie

No. 342441

File: 1690591586265.jpg (362.3 KB, 1000x725, shutterstock_546641992.jpg)

Why does no one ever talk about how good it feels to have a little fetus wiggling in your belly? It's like an internal massage. Elon Musk needs to make robotic fetus implants for women who aren't pregnant so they can get belly rubs all the time.

No. 342578

I always thought it felt so funny, like butterfly kisses from the inside

No. 342580


these have quite a few toys that are great and high quality. I got one from them that has no synthetic materials, no polyester! Organic cotton around lambwool filling.

No. 342599

The best feeling in the world. I can't wait until my baby is in active mode in the morning and evening and is wriggling and kicking like crazy. During my anatomy scan he was very active and I got an adorable video of him stretching and kicking the shit out of my uterus lol. Crazy how you can even see the movements when looking at your stomach at such a relatively early stage.

No. 342776

The audacity of men never fails to amaze me. For the past week, my baby has been screaming in pain at various times throughout the day, peaking at bedtime every night. My boyfriend works during the day so he never saw it until she had her evening burst and every day he would tell me ‘she’s just teething’ ‘it’s probably growing pains’ ‘she’s just tired’. And every day I would say ‘this is NOT normal, I’m going to phone the doctor’ and he would just dismiss it as just a general baby thing. I said that it seemed like she had painful reflux - arching her back, screaming in pain, painful spit up, loads of gas, crying while feeding. I started venting to my own mum and would send videos of my baby crying and my mum even said I should phone the doctor. So I phoned today and the doctor asked us to come in this afternoon to give the baby a quick check. The doctor said ‘we can both agree it seems like acid reflux’, prescribed reflux meds and literally after ONE dose, it was like I had a completely different baby. She still fussed a little but there has been NO screaming, no back arching, no painful spit up. Now my absolute nightmare of a boyfriend has spent the whole day claiming that ‘WE’ both knew it was reflux since she was spitting up and arching her back so badly and it took all my strength to not just slap that man. There was no ‘we’ in this, it was all me (with a little encouragement from my own mother). There’s no point to this story other than venting and to say that you should trust your motherly instincts because men will never understand what it’s like.

No. 342777

That's infuriating and I hope you either dump him or set the bar much higher so he knows he can't get away with treating you and your baby this way. What if it had been something more serious? The least he can do is apologize and promise not to dismiss you in the future. Every single woman I know who's had/raised a child with a man like this ended up saying she "had to raise two kids" because they are so useless. They forget to feed the children, act like they don't know how to bathe them, can't remember what grade they're in, are clueless about their medical history, shoo them away when they have health issues, and just are not good co-parents and make the mothers even more miserable than they'd be if they were single. I'm really glad your baby is feeling better though and it wasn't anything more serious! Good on your for trusting your instincts, idk why men act like you can't be trusted to know your own baby.

No. 342788

This reads like a moid with a pregnancy fetish. Kicks hurt especially if you're a small woman with a big baby, it feels like the worst gas pains of your life and they're active when you're trying to sleep

No. 342799

Yeah I agree. I guess from a purely psychological side it is nice to know your baby is growing and active and healthy inside you, but it definitely doesn't feel good physically and more often than not hurts and is uncomfortable. I think it's a moid also, there is zero "massaging" going on from a baby kicking you in the cervix or ribs.

No. 343804

absolutely written by a scrote or tranny kek

No. 344062

You should set it up to make sure no parts are missing. This is a good task to have your partner do.
That can be a hard feeling, but I can just about guarantee that you are her favorite parent.
Sounds like a troon to me.

No. 344163

Anons - does your previous baby learning to walk mean you're going to get pregnant soon??

My first is learning to walk and we've been trying for a second for months,I am constantly getting these weird pregnancy omens and the other night my waitress (we live in the country and this was a typical rural 24 hr diner) that because my first was learning to walk she was making room for our second and kept looking at my stomach. I have pregnancy dreams almost every night and I keep getting those weird TikTok "predictions" (yeah I know it's stupid) for August 19… My obgyn appointment is August 18… I had sex and ovulated not too long ago either. August 19 is definitely been giving me a weird feeling though

Will keep everyone updated

No. 344174

i have heard that when your kid starts bending over and looking at you from between their legs (like the downward dog position) it’s a sign that you’re pregnant. i’ve never heard the walking thing though.

No. 344182

Are you still breastfeeding? I think this is probably something people say because around 1 year old is when children start walking and also weaning off the boob. When your baby is weaned your hormones return to normal and you can ovulate again.

No. 344187

My baby wasn’t well for a while and we recently started a new medication and she’s like a completely different baby. She’s happy and smiley, she was playing today and happy to just lie there and watch the world go by. It’s been weeks since I’ve been able to set her down without her being in pain, but today I was able to set her down and shower while she just smiled and wiggled on the ground like a little worm. I feel so relieved and excited now for the days ahead because she’s finally comfortable and happy!

No. 344200

What is the medication?

No. 344201

That is so nice anon, congratulations!

No. 344344

Successfully potty trained my toddler and got him signed up for soccer and headstart! Can I just say I love this stage of childhood, don’t get me wrong I loved the baby era but I love to chat with him and play with him and seeing him gain independence gives me so much pride, what a smart little guy!

No. 344422

can you explain your potty training method? i feel like my daughter is ready but i have no idea how to even start.

No. 344498

Why does sex hurt during pregnancy and can I even do anything about it? In the first trimester sex was amazing for me but halfway through the second trimester things went to shit. My drive is down to zero so its really difficult to get into it. Nearly everything is a turn off and basically nothing works as a turn on. Even after a lot of foreplay, when we get to PIV it at best feels uncomfortable and at worst is painful. Like PIV if you're not lubed up enough, except you are. My husband is very understanding and doesn't push me at all to do anything and said its probably just a time in our lives where this isn't a focus at all and will need to take a break. But I miss this level of intimacy so much and don't want it out of my life for the remainder of the pregnancy, especially because we probably won't be doing anything for a few months post partum.

No. 344499

I just started out by making him wear undies during the day and having him sit on the toilet every now and then (every 35 mins) he was scared of the toilet entirely and hated the way underwear felt when I first tried this so I let him wear diapers for a little longer like a week and then I tried again. in the meantime I took him with me to the restroom and had him watch his dad use the restroom, and just have him get used to the restroom and the sound of the toilet flushing. I tried again with Wearing undies and plopping him on the toilet every now and then he had some successes but I wasn’t sure if it was controlled because he also had accidents, I’d say like 7 pee accidents before he was able to tell me he when had to go to the restroom, I was suggested to let him wear underwear or no bottoms so he could get the sensation that he was having an accident, that peeing and pooping wherever in a diaper was no longer an option. Pooping in the potty was a little trickier to teach, he didn’t poop for 2 days so I put him back into a diaper and he immediately pooped, he told me he was scared to poop but not pee in the toilet. after that I had him back in underwear and he would tell me he needed to go potty and pee in the toilet but a day later he pooped his pants. I was really considering letting him wear diapers again for a little bit. But it was only one poopy accident and he learned from it and now he tells me when he has to pee and poop and it’s really great. my advice is to just be ready for accidents and if she doesn’t seem ready like she seems scared or just refuses you can have her in diapers for a little bit again, it took a little over a month to get him fully trained. Have her pick out underwear of characters she likes and have her try them on. Make it sound as exciting as possible. Best of luck anon, I hear girls are actually easier to train than boys so this should be a doozy!

No. 344741

This may be the wrong place - but I’m 6 weeks pregnant and opted for medication abortion. I took the first pill yesterday, was having second thoughts but did it anyways. I’m feeling regretful now - if I don’t take the remaining pills that actually expel the fetus, will it live?

No. 344761

It may survive with severe disability/damage. Take the remaining pills.

No. 344773

Consult a doctor, anons here can't give a clear answer.

No. 344800

my baby girl just turned one month old and i’m so happy. but having a newborn is so hard and i’m over it lmao. idk how single moms do it

No. 344866

Happened to me and when I was sideways it felt way better. Your cervix gets lower I think during pregnancy so it feels more uncomfortable especially during positions that penetrate deeply like doggy

No. 344867

Are you the anon from a while ago with the super fussy baby?

No. 345051

Lol awww don’t worry anon the little baby days go by really fast

No. 345194

Any anons thinking about homeschooling in America? So tired of school shootings but I'm nervous I won't have time for it. How does one even make enough money to be a mom and teacher full time? Is affiliate marketing a good idea?

No. 345612

Yes, I’m considering homeschool too. I used to be a teacher in my local school district, and it’s honestly so bleak and horrifying I can’t imagine sending my child there. The crime rates are high, literacy rates falling, discipline waning because basically the district doesn’t want parents to know how bad it really is so kids get away with EVERYTHING but murder and sexual assault. Kids are free to throw desks, threaten others students and sell drugs and there’s a “no kids left behind” policy that changed 0/Fs to 50s/Ds so the school doesn’t get taken over by the federal government I guess?? Anyway, there were students in my class who couldn’t even speak English and were straight D students but as long as they had a translator on their laptop and cheated off of other students they kept getting pushed right along to the next grade. I can’t imagine my child going to a school like the ones I had to attend as a child or teach at but could never afford to send him to a private school, either. We barely make enough for me to stay home now and I assume it’s only going to get harder, but I cannot put my child in public school here. We’ve considered moving to a better state with an area that has better schools and offers public-charter options when he’s older. In the meantime, I’m getting a professional certificate online and trying to study up in UX/UI so that maybe I can get an internship or apprenticeship someday that could result in a hybrid job, or at least a job that pays enough for me to get my kid into a better district/ school. It’s stressful as hell but if I choose to homeschool we probably can’t afford anymore kids and I’d really like at least one more. Your concerns are definitely valid though- I guarantee your local district manipulates the publics view of how bad it really is and gaslights parents. They also probably hire pedophiles and are willing to cover up any weird shit that goes on unless the local police get involved. I’ve seen it multiple times. They don’t pay well enough to have actual professionals working for them most of the time, especially since the job includes so much “classroom management” lol aka being a glorified correction officer. All of that said, I live in one of the worst states education wise and in an area with high gang activity. If you look at your local crime and literacy rates you can determine if you live in an area you’d feel safe sending your child to school. Some schools in your district will be better than others, I’d find those schools and try to move to those zip codes if you do send your kid to public school. Sorry for the long response!

No. 345681

Has anyone gotten pelvic floor therapy postpartum? What happens during a session and does it help. I peed a little when I sneezed and I'm freaking out.

No. 345689

Not american but I want to home school, too bad its practically illegal in my country and my kids would get taken away. I just remember not learning anything in school bc it was very easy and most of the teachers weren't intelligent or engaging, and just having to sit a desk for hours. I would have learned more if I could have been at the library instead of class. So I'd love if my kids could actually spend their time productively and learn life skills too, school is just day care for older kids.

No. 345704

You should talk to adults who were homeschooled before you decide to homeschool. It’s a real grass-is-greener situation and it can do a lot of harm even if you have great intentions. I would personally never homeschool because of the severe social isolation it inflicts on children.

No. 345715

Micro-schooling is a better option, but honestly you can still socialize your kids by putting them in sports and other communal activities.

No. 345724

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but once a month, maybe for a week, I become obsessed with pregnancy and all things baby. I usually am not really good with kids, but I’m polite, and try to be understanding, but I just never really want one myself. Plus I’m a lesbian, so even if I was dating, my partner wouldn’t have the right parts to get me pregnant anyways.

But when this baby week comes along, it’s all I can think of. I think about being a mother. I think about babies. I think about the amount of love I’d have for this new human being whos completely reliant on me, this life that I helped create, and how it’ll be hard, but worth it. I literally dream of giving birth to a baby girl, and holding her with my dream wife and raising her together, watching her grow into a beautiful young woman.

This part is kinda depressing, i was raped at 13 and got pregnant, my mom is against abortion, so I carried my daughter to 4 months before my body couldn’t handle it and I miscarried. I can’t help but wonder if I was older, more mature, with financial stability and less trauma in conception, would I have been a good mother? If it worked, my daughter would be 9 years old. I guess sometimes my brain mourns her and fixates on what it would be like if she lived and I had my daughter today.

Auuugh I’m in baby week right now and I’m looking up fertility clinics. I know it’s stupid because I can’t have a baby now, but a girl can dream sadface

No. 345728

My baby just turned 12 months. Today we went to a local farm and she got to tend to some animals. She loves brushing our dog, so it was nice to see her be super gentle and brush and feed some goats. She was so interested in all of the animals, and learned was able to recognize and babble a lot of animal names.I feel so happy with my life. my husband took a whole week off of work for her birthday and we just stayed cozy together and did so many fun things. I want another one, but I also want to treasure these moments and let her have my full attention for as long as possible. She is such a gentle and smart soul. It is amazing seeing your child bloom.

No. 345729

Nothing is wrong with how you feel, most people dream about having a kid with their ideal partner and even as a lesbian you can still achieve that. I'm really sorry for your traumatic experience, please don't blame yourself for it and try not to say "what if", I'm a med student and first thing you learn is that babies who are miscarried are often not viable, they're the babies that'd have died in the first hours or days of the birth.
I hope you'll have a perfect partner and a perfect baby in the future, don't lose hope and never blame yourself for a situation you had no control over.
Homeschooling is a bad idea. Children should interact with their peers and socialize with them for the ideal behavioral development. Most people who were home schooled say it left them stunted both intellectually and socially

No. 345749

To offer some perspective: homeschooling is not allowed or heavily restricted in large parts of Europe because parents generally aren't capable of providing adequate education (amongst other reasons). Professional teaching requires 4 years of full-time education for a reason.

No. 345765

I've never met anyone who is/was micro-schooled, It sounds like it would be better but I don't know. Sports are not enough for socializing but it's better than nothing. You have to consider who you're socializing your children with – other homeschool kids? (I think that's usually called a "homeschool pod") if those are your children's friends you can't control their ages (always very mismatched with much older and younger kids grouped together.) Or maybe you're socializing them with "regular" kids in which case your child is going to feel like a serious outsider and have trouble relating even if they are a happy and outgoing type (it's often described as feeling like a "third-culture kid", which they kind of are.) Then they have to grow up and operate in the same world as everyone else but they have this completely different childhood, not to mention if they want to pursue a degree they literally have to learn how to go to school at 18 which is a nightmare lol
Sorry to derail, I'm really interested in this topic but that's probably more than I should have written.

No. 345772

is being ''one and done'' really all that bad? having grown up with a plethora of siblings ive always envied the only kid life , lol. one and done would entail having basically all of your focus and resources on a singular kid.. which is better for them , imo. they can socialize and learn sharing/etc with other kids when playing/at school/sports etc. maybe its just a case of grass being greener on the other side

No. 345776

If you have deep trust and knowledge in your parenting skills it's fine. Personally most only child families I met have somehow managed to breed the cringiest people alive

No. 345778

>somehow managed to breed the cringiest people alive
It's the combination helicopter parenting and not having to share.

No. 346523

It's really not, one of the worst thing about having siblings is how transparents parents are with their favoritisms.

In my experience only child have an easier time sharing because they don't have the scarcity mentality of kids with siblings who can't have any personal belongings (they always HAVE to share even their absolute favorite things).

No. 346524

Took over two years, but we're finally pregnant again. I found out in the most bizarre way by testing positive before a colonscopy… I've suffered one early miscarriage since the birth of our daughter, that was two years ago. I'm so fucking scared I'm going to lose this one too. Just made it to week six, first ultrasound is on friday… my emotions are all over the place. Apparently inflammation from RA was interfering with the implantation process… I have no idea how many failed implantations we've had as a result. I try not to think about it. My labs in June finally came back normal and what do you know, I got knocked up in July. All anxiety aside I am elated, trying not to get too excited but it's so hard.

Has anynonny dealt with an autoimmune illness while pregnant ot be in the same boat? I'd love some advice. In the meantime I'm baking clafoutis and hoping that deliciousness will calm my nerves kek. Oh and when the surgeon told me the good news I burst into tears like a psycho. My mom had to hold me while she explained it's been a hard road to get pregnant and I wasn't expecting that news.

No. 346784

Anyone here had a donor-conceived child? How’d it go? Did they inherit something the donor did not disclose? Have they met the donor or siblings, if not - are they curious about them?

No. 346997

What's with this uptick of moms claiming to have zero labor or postpartum pains and that their baby was perfect? I had a lady make multiple accounts to scream at me because I told her I didn't believe she had zero labor and postpartum pains for all 4 kids and that her babies never cried. For reference, it was under a post about how it's okay for dads to spend hours in the bathroom and I mentioned how hard and impossible it would be for a new mom dealing with postpartum pains and/or multiple kids

No. 347000

I think it's the natural response to women feeling more comfortable to talk about how horrible and terrible and traumatizing birth was for them (and not believing that anyone could have any different). In response, women who's hormones worked as intended and erased the pain after the fact get indignant and have to humble brag. Basically it's just retards shitflinging. Have you been scrolling comments sections on instagram recently or something kek

No. 347001

kek no. I used to work in L&D and saw women on all fours acting like they needed an exorcism and claiming they had no pain after. It's possible but very rare and a woman having no pain with all 4 kids and perfect babies? not a chance. It's either women giving into the unrealistic expectations for moms in today's world, women trying to straight up lie to get on the side of moids with breeder fetish, or just moids trying to silence women when expected to push their side of the bargain to help out

No. 347617

Did anyone feel that you are pregnant right after you were impregnated ?

No. 347635

> saw women on all fours acting like they needed an exorcism and claiming they had no pain after.
Does that really happen? I know it’s common to kinda forget the pain and only remember the overwhelming joy and stuff but I didn’t know it was possible to totally forget it

No. 348156

I'm pretty sure my moid doctor gave me the husband stitch then claimed I "over-healed", I had to get "clipped" multiples times because I kept closing up and they said I overhealed, is this a thing or are they covering up for moid obgyn?

No. 348203

How does one deal with a circus? I have a family of 5 and just getting out the house and doing a quick grocery run seems like a whole show

No. 348204

>didn’t know it was possible to totally forget it
They didn't forget. There's a small but very loud minority of women who want to make sure everyone knows how good they are at being pregnant and child birth. I don't even understand what the end motive is, like they're trying to impress king Henry or something? Weirdly enough women I knew who had easy and good birth experiences often don't talk about it much unless it comes up, nevermind trying to insert themselves into any conversation of women talking about how hard birth is with "it was so easy I didn't feel anything, didnt tear, and pushed 4 big male babies out right on the due date teehee"

No. 348209

over-healed sounds like moid bullshit. More like they stitched you up a little more "just to be sure".
Unless he meant excessive scarring, which is not unimaginable. My Ob did a pretty terrible job when stiching me up, resulting in a patch of inflexible scarring right by the entrance of my vagina. It burned eveeytime I had sex but the OB said I was probably just not wet enough and gave me some bs cream. I finally had it removed by a different gyno and after healing I'm now pain free

No. 348607

they gave me estrogen cream "to relax it" but I got clipped multiple times, it is literally closing up constantly. Everytime I try to tell a new doc about it they treat me like I'm crazy but I know it's not scar tissue or anything

No. 348609

Mrs.Midwest was like this until months later she revealed fertility issues + birth trauma that ended with a planned c section for her second. I actually respect her for self-growth instead of just trying to appeal to tradthots

No. 348962

Anon how can I manage homeschooling while being in college myself? I only take a few classes each semester but am going to med school soon

No. 348982

I'm 31, single, just barely starting a career and I still want a family. I had two very traumatic relationships - got attractive and dropped out before I picked myself up. I wish I was rich enough to just get a sperm donor and be done with it, but man. I just want to get married and have a kid.

No. 349102

Sperm donations aren't that much anon. I knew middle and lower class lesbians that got them. Although you shouldn't get pregnant unless you know for fact you have friends or family willing to help out postpartum. Being completely alone postpartum can be dangerous due to complications+ blood sugar fainting from breastfeeding, not to mention if you need to go to the hospital (can happen a lot to newborns) it is not safe to go while you're freshly ripped

No. 349113

File: 1695028837956.jpg (18.8 KB, 410x263, amazingdrawing.jpg)

When you say 'clipped' do you mean they just give you a little cut and that's it? No stitches? If that's the case then I'm not surprised you heal up just as tight as before
In my case the gyno removed a small crescent of tissue, then stitched the edges of the skin together. Made a drawing to illustrate, pls don't laugh. The bit that was removed didn't actually look like scarring (to me), but my gyno noticed it was very inflexible. So although removing it made my perineum slightly smaller, overall it became much more stretchy again.

No. 349213


Sorry for being 2 months late, I’ve barely had time to do anything. We did end up going to the doctor to check if her eyes are gonna be an issue, they couldn’t find anything wrong. They mentioned that the lighter one might change to match the darker one, and it did darken, but to a darker blue rather than brown.

My wife recently asked me if I’d be willing to take medication to induce lactation, cause she’s worn the fuck out from nursing. Our baby is the hungriest baby ever, she’ll just keep drinking for 2-3 hours until she either falls asleep or my wife physically can’t take it anymore. This is switching breasts too. Doctor says nothing is wrong with her, she’s just a hungry baby

Anyways, back to lactation meds, cause I do wanna help her out, and we’re both women and capable of producing milk. Anyone know any supplements to induce milk wothout pregnancy? Ik this is a unique problem

No. 349231

Domperidone is the most common milk inducing medication

No. 349234

You would need medications from a doctor to induce lactation, and they don't give those out easily in my experience. I was going nuts and not able to produce enough milk (probably stress, in retrospect) and they refused to give me any medicine to help with milk supply because they had a lot of risk factors.

No. 349257

Are you in America? The formula industry made it impossible to get any sort of lactation medication in America claiming it's dangerous but you can order them online from Canada or Europe

No. 349417

Has anyone had any experience with down payment assistant programs? Do they actually work?

No. 349500

can I vote this for the stupidest anon on the lolcow rewards?

No. 349752

If the risk is acceptable to you, you could acquire it from an online seller. The adult lactation fetish subreddit is sadly the most up to date place to find sellers.

No. 349760

It depends on ages, but lots of snacks, making sure everyone has a place on the shopping cart (or whatever) and packing a bag ahead of time helps.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula and you both shouldn't be killing yourself trying to lactate for the baby.
Your wife probably needs to eat better and sleep

No. 349761

Also try to give that baby a paci and your wife can unlatch the baby if she's not swallowing anymore.

No. 349954

Anon why would you even know or do that? Also there's Facebook groups called human milk for human babies, women give out milk to babies for free

No. 351090

Anyone here have experience working at a daycare with a young toddler? My husbands job has been doing so poorly that we can’t afford food for ourselves most months, however he apparently makes too much for any sort of food assistance or even access to our local food banks…. It’s absurd honesty but anyways I have to go back to work. We spend 100% of our income on bills and needs and still never have enough, debt is piling up and I’m so stressed out constantly. The only option I have is to work at a daycare where I can bring my son. We can’t afford daycare so I can go get a better paying job. I’ll have to wait until he’s able to go to public school to get a different job. Honestly all of the other daycare workers there are moms with young babies also in my position… are daycare workers in America indentured servants?? Anyways any advice is welcome

No. 351180

Where do you live? Plenty of food banks don't require paystubs

No. 351374

I absolutely hate hate the fact that despite having public health care system in my country you can't have a c-section on demand, you can only pay for it in a private clinic and it's very, very expensive. I will never give birth naturally, not only because the thought of natural birth paralyzes me and I'm extremely dysphoric and I'm sure it would destroy me mentally, but also because I have a malfunction of the detrusor muscle and I've suffered from overactive bladder since my early childhood. If even women who are healthy down there can get fucked up from natural childbirth, I'm sure that in my case it would force me to wear diapers for the rest of my life, and I don't want that. Even now going anywhere is often a problem because I need to pee every 10 minutes and if I don't it will hurt me. Pregnancy itself would make this problem worse anyway because the pressure would leave even less space for the bladder. But at least it would only be temporary and not life lasting like the complete fuck up of my muscles and nerves during vaginal birth. Having a c-section can reduce the risk of severe incontinence from 10% to 5%, maybe that's not a lot but it's still better than nothing. Lower risk of anal incontinence and pelvic prolapse too. I already have problems with those areas so no, thank you. I'm not planning to have a baby for at least 2 years but I'm already saving extra money for the procedure kek

No. 351568

American nonnas, what prenatal vitamins do you recommend?

No. 351588

File: 1696624578984.png (152.97 KB, 421x500, b29.png)

My husband works two jobs so that I can stay home with the baby, our baby is now nearly 1 year old. It is hard to explain but due to the WFH nature of one of the jobs, he balances two full time jobs that run from 9:00am - 5:00pm, 5:00pm - 9:00am the next day. This isn't every day but for most the week there is never a time that he is isn't working (again, I admit he comes home at 5:00pm, but the work he does from home is highly stressful and he has to spend the whole night in his office).

I want him to quit the job and spend time with us. He hates the other job, he wants to come home and play with our baby. The little time we get we spend huddled on the floor of the living room desperately trying to soak up as much family as we can. But the thing is, if he quits his job, I have to go back to work, we need the money, and then the baby goes to day-care (where I don't trust the staff of under 20s drug users to look after her properly) and even though we will have dad home of a night time and all to ourselves, well then we still miss out on being a family because I'm working all day and the baby is with strangers.

I feel so backed into a corner. We had a conversation about him quitting the other night and he agreed he would quit, but now I'm starting to regret it. He has said he will quit before and we always reach a certain point and then he never pulls the trigger because we need the money. This time we agreed when it comes to that point, we will make sure to pull the trigger, but now I'm the one panicking. I really cannot stomach putting my baby into care.

No. 351593

Him quitting his job when you can already barely afford to eat is insane! Sorry but you can not afford for him to quit and if you won't earn much more than what a proper daycare costs it makes much more sense for you to stay at home. Maybe you can do something from home?

No. 351595

Sounds like he needs a BETTER job, not two jobs.

No. 351597

I have to know…
What are complications to childbirth I should 99% expect, and what are things that are less common but I should keep in mind? I see so many complications, some that I've never heard publicly talked about and I just want to know from moms what is actually a huge possibility, what is basically an absolute and what is uncommon but may happen

No. 351626

Tearing is very common, but mostly first and second degree tears that heal fast, very bad tearing (vag to butt) is uncommon.

One thing I didn't know and nobody told me is that right after birth you can not feel if your bladder is full. I waited way too long to go pee cause I just didn't feel like I needed to go even tho my bladder was almost bursting. Just go pee regularly after birth until you can feel it again, it's dangerous and none of the nurses even told me this.

I didn't really have any complications, my birth was very fast and easy, I had some first degree tearing that needed to be stitched up but that was healed within 2 weeks.

No. 351628

I'm pregnant for the first time and my family has this weird tradition of not using any pain medication during labor. My sister told me that active labor feels like a bad period, and my mother + aunts all say the same. My problem is, that I can't tell if they are just coping of if childbirth isn't that bad. Also my mom had a full tear (vagina to butt) and did stitches without pain meds. I'm debating on just lying about it but I'd like others opinion on pain and medication.

I use ritual because i'm a vegetarian. But I've heard good things about smarty pants and ollie

No. 351642

this is a basically what I couldve told my younger self
tearing and pain is extremely common, get the adult diapers, not pads. using actual numbing spray, not the hospital shit. ask for different pain relief not just otc, if they cant give it to you ask a few more docs. Lots of water and food, if your baby has jaundice request to stay in the NICU and you get free food and endless supplies

No. 351707

It is a million times worse than period cramps. That is a horrible lie to tell someone. Just get the epidural if you want, it's your body and your choice. I wanted to do my birth all natural but my contractions were so rapid and close together that I could barely breathe and I never got even a full minute in between to relax, it was counterproductive since I couldn't focus on anything like pushing or breathing and was all cramped up and nothing was moving. I got an epidural and it was the biggest relief ever. Pushed my baby out with 3 pushes and only had first degree tears. They stitched it up and the epidural was already wearing off by then. I will get another one with my second.

No. 351709

Samefag to add I really hate women who are soooo proud of doing a "natural birth" and shame others for not wanting to do that. My MIL is like that too and constantly brings it up.

Nobody brags about getting their appendix out without anesthesia or getting a root canal without pain medicine. It's only women who are giving birth that are shamed lile this.

No. 351716

Thank you
If anyone else has more input I'd love move
My husband and I are going to start trying this year but I'm nervous

No. 351761

Birth is scary and really hard, but you get an adorable baby out of it that immediately makes everything better. I didn't even feel them stitch me up because I was just staring at my baby like "wow… you were inside me all along?!?! That is CRAZY!" It's absolutely worth it.

No. 351762

Women being taught that pain and suffering are their best accomplishments is so fucking misogynistic, even as a mom myself. Like what men get to thrive in their academic and career accomplishments and the best thing a woman can do is be in a lot of pain?

No. 351765

Ayart Thank you! My family is normally very pro hospital and aren't super into natural birthing - it's just this one aspect and it's really weird. I haven't told my family I'm pregnant yet because I'm still in the first trimester but when I do I know I'm going to be judged on what I do for pain management. Even though most of the women in my family have PCOS I just couldn't believe that child labor was the same as bad period cramps.

I never thought about how toxic or misogynistic this attitude was until now so thank you. My family is full of pickme's so it's not surprising just sad.

Could be the pregnancy but I love you all so much.

No. 351820


I hate this statement too, cause some women have medical problems that require help from meds or surgery, but they aren’t seen as “real mothers” because of it. My homophobic sister in law was rude as hell to wife because she needed an epidural after 6 hours of labor. Sister in laws birth was 3 hours, wife was in labor for 20 hours. She’s not less of a woman for being in horrible agony and needing help

No. 352265

I'm in a loving stable relationship but I'm always paranoid of something like my husband dying or something and being left to my own devices. Currently I'm making money while he does childcare and housework. It's what works for us because he's a great dad, never missed a feed, keeps everything clean, entertains our daughter without screens, very patient,etc. Is this a rational fear? I'm thinking of putting him on life insurance that way if he dies or something I can take off work for a while to figure out everything. I'm also scared of one day him just up and disappearing or something. I don't see why I think like this as he's shown no signs of these things or any red flags. I guess anxieties are just normal sometimes. What other ways can I protect myself

No. 352269

Life ins is always smart to have especially when you have a child or children. My wife and I both have policies because we want our daughters to have that financial stability even if one of us passes suddenly somehow (god forbid). I think it’s practical as fuck and if you can afford it, go for it. Also that’s really nice to hear that your man is a good dad, it’s so often not like that. No screens too, love love love ♥

No. 352330

Has anyone here done natural childbirth? or planned one and ended up getting the epidural? or just general hospital experiences I am 33 weeks and getting nervous

No. 352395

I planned on doing all natural, but I got pre-eclampsia very suddenly and needed to be induced. I lasted roughly seven hours without an epidural but the pain was awful and I was making very little progress, I got no rest between contractions and it was so extreme I could barely speak so I got the epidural which was a life saver.

If you can, have some generals planned out and go over it with whoever is with you. Have your bag ready in advance just in case and bring little comforts (lotion, lip balm, snacks you might like). I wasn't ready but I grabbed a ton of stuff (we rushed to the hospital) so I was okay but it wasn't ideal.

I'm sure you'll be fine, it's normal to worry about these.

No. 352509

I’m a widowed single mom now. This is my first day completely alone with baby, I’m having trouble.

Baby is 3 months old, she normally takes a nap about 3PM to 4PM but we were at the hospital and left at 3:15-ish. I thought she’d be asleep when we got home, 10 minute drive, but she’s wide awake. I can’t get her to go back to sleep, so I hold and play with her. She eats at 4 and I didn’t want to mess her schedule up more, but she didn’t eat. It’s 4:30 and she’s been fussing and crying for 20 minutes now. I tried feeding, changing diaper, changing clothes, feeding attempt, pacifier, white noise, none of it works. Her late mom would always baby wear her until she sleeps, I think baby likes the heartbeat. When I do it though, she won’t relax. I think wife was more effective because she’s the one who carried baby, and her heartbeat is more comforting than mine. Is there any other ways to make a baby sleepy?

No. 352518

I hear wearing a sling helps since they lay on your chest and feel more comforted.
I am so sorry you lost your wife. If I think if anything else, I'll post, but I know my sister has 2 young ones and sometimes they are just fussy to fuss.

No. 352524


She tired herself out and went to sleep, she’s feeding normally again. I am not prepared for being single mom. I love my daughter but this is gonna be hard. Any single mom nonnas with advice and tips while it’s still early

No. 352568

theres different apps and stuff to help connect you with other moms, also make good friends with old ladies in your community. I live in apartments and when my first was born they would bring me food, supplies, help clean, etc. Just be social

No. 352620

Nonna I'm so sorry about your wife. You're very right in that this will be a hard journey for you both but you can do it, I absolutely believe in you. It's hard to give advice without knowing your location so here is what I do as a semi-single parent: rely more on your family/community/friends/neighbours. Try to be open and honest with your support system about your needs and expectations on them, ask if they can help you with chores weekly or bi-weekly. If you dont have a support system, look into finding your village. In my country we have "open daycare" where parents spend time together with their children so the children can play together and parents can vent/chill/ask questions. Ive met two families there whom have become friends for me now and we spend time together outside of daycare, taking turns offering each other dinner, outings, playdates etc.
Get groceries or food delivered if your budget allows for it. Thrift clothes and toys when you have the time and energy for it, it saves you immense cash but it comes at the cost of your time and travel so be mindful to balance your energy. Babywear her often and she will soon associate your heartbeat with love and comfort. I wore my child almost 24/7 in the beginning but Im a fucking masochist lol, but I feel like it paid off. My child is very calm and sleeps through vacuuming or dishwashing because theyve always heard it from the beginning.
About their sleep why she didnt fall asleep after hospital: I was told by a childrens psychiatrist that babies have "sleep trains"; meaning if your baby missed her 3 o'clock train there might not be another train until next nap-window. I would comfort her, talk to her, say that I dont know exactly what you want but Im trying to figure it out etc as youre trying to help her decide if she'll catch a late sleep-train or wait until the next one.

Nonna I believe in you, I really do. You will raise a beautiful daughter, I know it in my heart.

No. 352638

I like Nature's Way Alive Premium Prenatal and Garden of Life Vegan DHA because those were the only things that didn't give me awful fish burps.

No. 352837

We just found out we're having a babygirl and I couldn't be happier, I was bracing myself in case it'd be a boy, but it turned out just perfect. My partner is elated and I just want to fill my house with books and movies and art about / by cool strong women and help her become an awesome woman too. I'm so so excited !

No. 352857

I have an extreme worry that I wont be able to get pregnant.
My period finished 2 days ago and this will be month 2 of trying.
I'm trying not to think about it because I know stress can cause issues around this, but I wish I could fast forward to being 7 months pregnant so I can finally just relax around getting pregnant.

Dont get me started on miscarrying or the child dying :(

No. 352892

My bf and my step brother both have shit dads. They were mostly raised by their mom and they turned out to be the sweetest, most gentle men I've ever known. I've never heard anything misogynistic come out of their mouths and my step brother eventually got married a few years ago to an equally nice, successful lady. Meanwhile, my other stepbrother that was raised by our shitty misogynistic dad naturally turned out to be a pos that never amounted to anything and is still single and mooching off his mom to this day. So, it really depends on who is influencing them tbh

No. 353062

Just had a baby. I hate hate hate how pumping makes me feel weird/shameful. I know it’s not…I just hate how society has warped breast to be sexualized when all I’m trying to do is feed my baby with my human udders.

No. 353064

I get you, I felt the same for the first month or so, and a gross male I barely knew once said I must look like a dog with puppies when I nursed because I have twins, which was disgusting and it took a lot of reassurance from my wife to not feel nasty. I promise with reframing of mind it is possible to not feel that weird male-invented shame that we don’t deserve. It’s beautiful and kind of awe-inspiring (even if tedious and sometimes painful) that we can feed our little ones with our own bodies. You got this, mama-nonna. Congratulations on your baby ♥

No. 353117

Anon if you can, you should seek a therapist or similar. I'm a medfag and we're taught that if a new mother has any worries, she should not only have a family and partner to support her but also a mental health professional. You deserve all the support, I hope it goes well for you and both you and your baby have a the easiest time.

No. 353261

My period is gone, hoping to have a baby stick this month!
I was looking up the vitamin/nutrition targets to hit and its making me want to pull my hair out.
I think I'm just going to take a prenatal multivitamin, a DHA+Choline and an Iron+VitC (dr has said I need this as I am low ferritin), and just eat "clean" and healthy.

No. 353282

Thank you both.

Also, I do have plenty of support…it’s just the reframing of my state of mind about breastfeeding being sexual due to the porn industry and the patriarchy that is the issue. Everything else is a-ok.

No. 353283

Good luck!!!

No. 353285

Hey. It took me three/four months. I’m 36. I just had a wee baby. Just use an ovulation test and preseed lube. You got this.

No. 353316

That's great to hear anon. I'm sure you and your baby will have a great time, you sound sweet.

No. 353334

Okay very quick but a month ago I got raped at school, I don’t wanna go into details but he came inside and I know it was during ovulation week cause I track my menstrual cycle. I didn’t tell anyone about it because I have a very strict religious family and I didn’t want them to know that I got “violated”. Anyways, I didn’t get my period. They were supposed to come 4 days ago and nothing came.
Usually, before my period I have cramps but this time I had no cramps at all, no little bleeding, nothing. I am taking a blood test tomorrow morning to see if I’m pregnant and I’ve never been more fucking scared in my entire life.
I got sick too recently, a bad cold and I’m still sick as fuck so maybe it’s why I didn’t get my period ? Or maybe the stress ? I don’t know.
What is gonna happen next if I happen to be pregnant because there is no way I am going to tell my family. Can I really get pregnant if someone came inside just ONCE ?
I told my girl friends and they’re very supportive and saying they’d help me raise the baby. I believe them but the really big problem is my family, also the fact that I feel I am too young (19) to be a mother..and I just feel like my body wouldn’t handle pregnancy, I an anemic, had a lot of problems before with ovarian cysts and stuff..I don’t know.
Praying it’s just the anxiety.
I haven’t been able to stop crying

No. 353345

Anon I'm so sorry. My friend also had a similar experience and didn't get her period for several months just because of stress but you should still get a blood test. You can always have an abortion - an abortion is much better ethically than giving birth to a child if the birth is going to be traumatizing for you. If you feel you won't be able to bond with the child but don't want an abortion, you could always put the child up for abortion as well.
I hope you're not pregnant, please know that there are choices for you no matter how you feel and you're the only one that should have a say in these choices.
Also when something similar happens again, please seek urgent medical help. You can either take pills or get iuds after intercourse which can prevent pregnancy.

No. 353346

You don’t have to carry and raise your rapist’s baby even if you are pregnant. That would be insane.

No. 353359

I am praying it’s just the stress for you too nonna. My cycle was all fucked up after I was raped and I had the same fear as you but it ended up being okay. Like the other anon said, you do NOT have to carry the fetus to term, you aren’t a bad person if you have an abortion.

No. 353396

Thank you, it’s 5AM here and I’m going to get my blood tested at 7AM. I haven’t been able to sleep at all because I am too stressed. I even paid some astrology app to ask questions to someone even though I don’t even believe in astrology but it was just to reassure myself (it didn’t even work). I am trying to chill out but god I am on the verge of fainting.
I have the deep feeling that I am pregnant. Shaking but trying to act normal around my family, they’re all waking up to go to school or work. I am desperate and so scared

No. 353401

Watch out, you definitely could faint. I fainted last week from emotional stress and I had never fainted before and thought fainting from emotion was a myth, it's not, so sit down if you start feeling weird. And remember, even if you are pregnant you have options, you are not doomed.

No. 353421

Taking a lot of vitamin c can induce an abortion of its still very early and its pretty safe, google it

No. 353430

Sorry anon, it's truly awful this is happening to you. Can you get an abortion at least or is that illegal where you are? At 19 you should be able to get an abortion without your parents being informed. If you're really in a position where you're forced to bring the pregnancy to full term look into legally abandoning the newborn. In a lot of countries it is legal to abandon a newborn at the hospital or religious organisations.

Praying for you, let us know how it goes!

No. 353472

She should have an abortion instead of that. If she has an abortion earlier on, it'll be much easier compared to later abortions btw. Please consider that anon

No. 353473

Not every country allows abortions

No. 353485

She never said her country banned abortion, retard. If the baby survives and borns disabled, anon will suffer so much more.

No. 353488

Not to be dark, but also consider how much it would fuck you up to know you were a rape baby. I was thinking about that in the shower and it would be so bad to know you are 50% from a predator who assaulted your mother.

No. 353496

I'm the retard? I never said she shouldnt get an abortion, just if it isnt allowed in her country she could try other options. Jfc youre the retard

No. 353499

Why are you yelling at me I wasn’t replying to you

No. 353573

The fact that she didn't mention abortion at all in her original post doesn't bode well imo.

No. 353835

How do you deal with giving a child access to the internet? I think at 12 it's probably OK to give them monitored access, but I'm not sure. I never had any monitoring when I was a kid but turned out pretty normal, though I grew up in the webkinz wizard101 era and I don't know if that stuff exists for kids anymore.

No. 353840

Monitor for sure but don't be overbearing about it, kids of parents who constantly stare over their shoulder will not feel comfortable being honest on their own with you and will want to hide things. Maybe install a web filter.
The best thing is to have discussion with kids about good internet use. Teach them privacy habits and about the risks of inappropriate websites, and be open to listening to their thoughts and experiences too. Nowadays it's normalized among their peers to do stuff like dump their personal details online or develop porn addiction so it's important to talk with them about how even though it's common, it's not healthy or safe. And just try to be approachable about the topic, you want them to feel comfortable coming to you if they're unsure about online content

No. 353881

I think 12 is a bit young, if you want to get your child used to computers maybe do it through video games?

No. 353891

Elementary schools nowadays require internet access (and accompanying devices). Unless you meant internet access aside from educational purposes.

No. 353912

I've bought my vitamins today!
Iron because I'm very low ferritin and dr said to get on it.
I ovulate in 3 days so I'm hoping this month is THE month for me

No. 353916

File: 1697804001696.jpg (438.73 KB, 2652x2160, vits.jpg)

oops forgot the pic

No. 353957

Im 16 months PP and my periods are finally regulating out. What is the best day to conceive? I cannot tell when I'm ovulating except sometimes I get spotting/pain. How can I tell when I'm fertile?

No. 353958

I give them flip phones that are heavily restricted so they can just make emergency calls or plan events with other kids they know irl. Absolutely no discord, skype, TikTok, etc.

Does anyone know if private schools are as technology dependent? My friend told me about German schools in the Midwest that are very hands on and less technology. I might have to research more into those but a non religious private school would also be favorable

No. 353961

Get a period tracker app, it should tell you when you're fertile after a few cycles.

No. 353978

I use the Flo app to track ovulation, get some ovulation pee sticks and get a thermometer to check your temperature rise around when the app tells you its your ovulation date

No. 354083

I really hope you're okay anon. I had an abortion at 8 weeks and it was painful but easy to get through and I was able to go home an hour later and pretend like nothing happened. I just told my family I was having bad cramps and they bought it. I'm now 9 weeks pregnant with a child I want and in case you are worried about it, you can still get pregnant after an abortion. I hope you are able to find a safe way to terminate and if not, just know you are a good person and none of this is your fault.

No. 354107

Have any of you had a baby registry for your baby shower?
Is it too presumptuous?

No. 354114

I’m not a mom but almost every baby shower I’ve been to had a registry, I think it’s pretty normal. I guess it depends on your culture with that type of thing but it never seemed presumptuous to me.

No. 354129

Ngl I always thought they are but in recent years I've been to so many baby showers, weddings and anniversaries by friends and family that used them so I guess most people are totally fine with them. Just make sure you have different price categories on there so people who don't want to spend a lot have budget options.

No. 354186

Make a registry, they're there for a reason. it's too much to buy without help. I made one for a virtual shower. At the very least your family will pitch in, I got $1000+ worth of stuff and almost everything we needed for the baby, would have had a really tough time coming up with everything without the help, plus after people have bought everything you've got a list left over of stuff you'll have to buy yourself

No. 354195

File: 1697943209371.jpg (9.77 KB, 442x442, 1697941393420671.jpg)

Can we talk about how fucked up it is that babies have come out of our vaginas and suck on our boobs?

I have a sensitive g-spot and nipples. It's going to feel when my kid is wriggling in my vagina during birth. And I want to breastfeed because I heard it's what's best for babies but I assume it's going to feel like my kid is sucking on my clit every time she wants to eat. Why are our bodies designed like this??(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 354197

They don't 'wriggle' in your vagina. During birth you're going to be too high to feel anything other than pain you retard.

And breastfeeding is painful. Less like sucking on your clit and more like gnawing on your nipples.

No. 354199

Are you even female? Are you high? What the fuck is this post lmao?

No. 354201

They're 1000% a moid. No woman imagines that birth will make them horny.

No. 354208

>I have a sensitive g-spot and nipples. It's going to feel 𝘸𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘥 when my kid is wriggling in my vagina during birth.
Yo I'm not saying this to be mean but it must be fun to be this stupid and yet optimistic about how life works.

No. 354216

lol this thread is full of moids

No. 354217

Mtf trannies think the female experience is being constantly aroused by your own body.

No. 354229

You are so obviously a male and probably a tranny, this is one of the most vile posts I’ve seen on here. Please kys and never go near any child.

No. 354232

you will never be a woman

No. 354239

obvious bait is obvious

No. 354274

My vitamin pills have made me feel nauseous again :( Going to check if I'm ovulating today since my tracker app says I am(:()

No. 354277

Anything containing iron or zinc makes me feel nauseous and hurts my stomach, apparently it’s normal

No. 354279

Yeah I'm on iron tablets :( very annoying(:()

No. 354305

I'm on iron too, when I mentioned feeling nauseous for hours after taking the iron pill to my doctor he advised me to take it with fresh orange juice. Apparantly the vitamin c in the orange juice improves absorption. Unfortunately it doesn't actually lessen the nausea for me (I've resorted to not taking iron before my first meal because it led me to throwing up in public) but maybe it helps you!

No. 354322

Iron is notorious for causing nausea as it’s very hard on the stomach especially if you already suffer reflux or whatever (I had terrible reflux all throughout my pregnancy) it’s best to take it with meals. Orange juice will supposedly help the iron be absorbed better into your bloodstream but it does nothing to lessen the nausea or stomach pain that comes with OJ, it can increase it because it’s acidic. You should always take iron with a snack and drink a full glass of liquid with it because if iron pills get stuck in your throat or esophagus they can be a bit corrosive to your GI lining.

No. 354335

Switch to heme iron if you are taking elemental iron, it absorbs much better and is less irritating for your gi tract

No. 354337

I take liquid iron but it still gives me nausea tbh

No. 354343

My iorn comes with 500mg of vit c so its meant to stop the nausea, I have it with my breakfast but hasnt really improved

No. 354348

Oh damn not even with food? For me having a meal, waiting at least 2 hours and then taking the iron works. It's not optimal I think but it's allowed according to the leaflet that comes with my pills.

No. 354352

I see, I usually wait 10 mins then have my vits, I might try spacing it out more.

No. 354614

I'm 14 weeks pregnant and went for my checkup today. Baby was friggin jumping in my womb. JUMPING. Like I saw the baby nearly smack their noggin on the top of my uterus. I thought I was out of mind thinking I could already feel movement, but my OB confirmed I could absolutely feel that kek. Has another nonna experienced this at 14 weeks? I didn't with my first. Kid was jumping so much they could hardly get the heart rate.
Like I'm 99.9% that creepy poster was a troon but I did know this one woman who swore up and down she had the most powerful orgasm of her life while giving birth. Apparently there's a name for it, idek what it was as I tuned her out for the rest of the evening. Fucking gross.

No. 354615

My twin girls were VERY active at that point, I called them my lil froggies because they were constantly wriggling and moshing kek then they became my little watermelons bc they got fuckin yoog by the time they came out. They both walked at like 8 months btw, maybe you’re in for an early mover/future athlete with those jumps! Congrats on your new teeny bouncer, nonna! Wishing you a healthy and safe pregnancy for the duration ♥

No. 354616

Women can have orgasms during birth. I don’t think it should be taboo. Orgasm is expected from the physical stimulation and extreme rush of hormones like oxytocin. I don’t find female sexuality like that pervy, only male sexuality is bad IMO.

No. 354617

Does anyone else get creeped out by the fact their uterus can expand to hold a whole baby and a shit ton of fluid? Idk why but that just makes me feel so…wtf. I always think of my uterus as this small thing so knowing it can stretch to that kind of capacity and make my whole stomach swell is kind of terrifying, especially knowing it’s just a thin layer of flesh that could potentially burst yet has to encase this precious living thing, idk man it just freaks me the fuck out.

No. 354618

Yes pregnancy literally causes the uterus to expand up to 1000 times its original size which is insane.

No. 354621

Aww I love that you had your little froggies!! So sweet and wonderful! I'm glad it's not unusual to have such activity, my daughter walked at 10 months so maybe the new babe will walk early like you say! I'm amazed you had twins, mad respect for you nonna. Thank you for your sweet words, I'm really excited to meet this little one.
When you put it that way, that makes sense and seems appropriate. I guess the lady I spoke to was just weird about how she described it. Almost lustful and salivating, it was unsettling.

No. 354624

Any small anons with big babies? I'm 5'0 with a massive, almost 7 foot husband plus a lot of people in my family are tall. I just had my baby which was very long, very big. Ever since I've been feeling weird internal pains, my organs have felt awful and my spine is completely out of it. Is this normal or?

No. 354636

Get a postpartum belly wrap if you're not using one already. Look into postpartum exercises aimed for your back, tons of guides online. However I think you should go visit a doctor if you're feeling pain internally and in your organs.

No. 355083

Please report back if the belly wrap works. I'm 5'1 with a 6'7" husband. We were both 10lbs at birth and I am terrified of the giant that will depart me in 4 months.

No. 355473

Why are so many young people aggressive to young mothers? I’m not even 25, my daughter was born just over 4 months ago, and the only people who are welcoming to me are older moms.
Late wife and I had a lot of friends our age, and they wanted us to party, go clubbing, do a lot of things, but we couldn’t because of baby. They started acting all passive aggressive about this, even stating that our daughter “stole our love from them” WHAT????
When wife passed away, her funeral just happened yesterday, a lot of these friends came to say goodbye to her and offer condolences. But they were shocked to see me with our daughter. They asked why I haven’t given her up for adoption yet, since she wasn’t conceived with my egg. They told me that I’m throwing away my life for a baby who isn’t even a blood relative of mine, and that she’d be happier in another home with two parents. I was so pissed and I threw them the fuck out of the funeral.
The only people who have been supportive is wife's not-horrible family, her sister is 32 and invited me into her mommy group with other 30+ women. These women are so sweet and supportive, they even helped me when she started crying inconsolably. I love these older women. And I fucking hate those ex friends.

No. 355489

As someone not interested in kids/being a parent, I was kind of sympathetic to your friends being upset you couldn’t do young people thing with them anymore. But what they said to you at the funeral is straight up sociopathic to the point that I’m praying you’re taking a page out of Reddit’s book and making that part up (I don’t think you are though). If I was there I would have gone batshit and beat them up im dead serious. That is NOT a normal response and there is seriously something wrong with them. Again, I’m saying this as a childfree person myself so you can grasp the scale of how fucked up and abnormal that was. Sorry that happened to you and I’m glad your wife’s sister is there for you.

No. 355496

>They asked why I haven’t given her up for adoption yet, since she wasn’t conceived with my egg.
This is absolutely wild and not normal at all. The issue with those people isn't their age, it's that they're genuinely deranged. Where are you from that people are like this?

No. 355647

does not work. steel bone corsets work better if you lace them comfortably. i also see a chiro once a week

No. 355648

This reads like a fake reddit story honestly. Like you had multiple people, friends even, tell you to put your daughter up for adoption? yeah suuuure

No. 355649

It does sound so bad it's fake
If it's real that fucking sucks and your friends are unfeeling jerks. How could you say that to someone grieving, I can't even imagine the type of person who would let alone a group of them
But yeah I do notice sometimes people are aggressive to mothers especially young people, I don't know why. I think it's the anti-natalism thing but they take it too far and just end up being rude to people who choose to, like some kind of projection thing

No. 355653

America, in a state known very entitled people. American culture is very “My life over everyone else. Everyone should cater to me. Logic over empathy all the time.” And those friends are exactly that. They don’t like that my life is centered around my child, and that I’m miserable caring for her alone, so they “logically” believe that if she’s not there, my life will be easier. And they’re right, my life would be easier without her, but she’s my baby girl and I love her more than the world.

No. 355654


Do you live in the United States? Because people genuinely think like that. My baby is making my life hard, so they 100% believe that the logical way to make me happy is removing her from my life. They genuinely act like removing my baby from my life is like rehoming a pet you can’t take care of. I am grateful for you that you’ve never had to interact with people like this. They are genuinely the type to tell you “you don’t like your job that pays well and is easy? Just quit, you’re making yourself miserable.”

No. 355658

File: 1698526246338.jpg (293.53 KB, 1080x2400, Screenshot_20231029-074721_Flo…)

I just want to be pregnant ahhhhh
My basal thermometer package was stolen from our third story doorstep so I have to wait for another one

No. 355670

Even if you think it's fake why would you call it out? It matters more to you that a single "fake" story doesn't slip that you'd risk kicking a woman dealing with her asshole friends and is now trying to survive raising a baby while mourning her partner? Plus the anon has been pretty consistent with her posts so I don't think she's lying

No. 355754

Nonna my heart breaks for your and your baby's loss. Stay in the mom group, surround yourself with loving and supportive people. So relieved you ousted those people from your life. Shockingly callous.

No. 355799

File: 1698613157743.gif (393.67 KB, 498x303, angry-cat-triggered.gif)

I'm at 9 weeks and told my mom but asked her not to tell any other family members until I'm further along. Two days later at a family function she "accidentally" announced it to everyone. I can't stop thinking that I'm now cursed and will have a miscarriage.

No. 355800

That’s really frustrating nonna I’m sorry she did that. I come from a culture where we don’t even have the shower til after the baby is born for fear of jinxing things, and my wife’s mom who is not from my cultural bg basically did the same shit to me when I was around 9-10 weeks at Easter. It really upset me. Try to just breathe and keep taking good care of yourself and your little jellybean, I’m sending you good vibes for a continued healthy pregnancy and birth, nonnamamma! ♥

No. 355917

Sending good vibes and expectations all will go perfectly well. Try to keep a PMA and don't let her foolish slip up make you overly anxious, just rest and nourish yourself.
Dang have you had your baby yet?

No. 355961

How much freetime do you have after giving birth? I dont know what to expect, I never had younger siblings so I never witnessed a newborn's schedule. I want to get back to a hobby I had pre-pregnancy that got hard to do with the mobility changes from big tummy, I can do the hobby from anywhere, in the same room as the baby, but cannot hold the baby while I do it. Husband has 2 months paternity leave and works from home so he will be able to help out. I just want to balance breastfeeding and giving attention to the baby with my hobby which I want to spend about 4 hours a day on

No. 355968

Yes my girls were born healthy and are doin well! I should have specified I meant “at easter” as in on the holiday the year I was pregnant which was 2021 kek. My sweet pumpkins just turned 2 this month and they’re SO BIG and I’m getting newborn fever again and so is my wife so we may be adding to our family next year or the year after lmao I know this is lolcow and lolcow hates women who want to be moms but I love being a mama so much even on the shitty days

No. 356016

Lol we don’t hate moms.

No. 356026

I just want to say to all the moms and moms-to-be in this thread, you are awesome and I wish you all the best. Reading through your posts just makes me want to have a little one myself even sooner (although I’m already turning 30 next month… my dreams of being a young mom are shattered).

No. 356037

>mom born in 1952
>she became a mom in 1987
You can do it anon

No. 356039

Kek have you seen the /ot/ threads lately?

No. 356091

There were literally multiple anons sperging and claiming insane stuff like majority of moms are paralyzed from birth injuries and then laughing at women who have pregnancy or birth complications, all because they had sex

No. 356110

It was one anon, possibly the /lgbt/ tranny, samefagging.

No. 356158

I randomly threw up and also yhe other end this morning.
I didn't eat anything that was off but my period is due in 6 days.
How likely was that baby related?
It may have been my prenatal but I've never felt that sick before from them?

No. 356162

Did you take them on an empty stomach? Anything with iron will make me throw up if it's on an empty stomach.
It's probably not baby related yet though, I didn't get nausea until a while after my missed period. They call it morning sickness but during my first pregnancy it was all day to the degree where I was afraid to go out because I kept puking. My current pregnancy I didn't have a moment of morning sickness, so it might happen it might not.

No. 356169

Is diapers being stinkier than usual a sign of anything bad? Baby switched off old formula, now on new formula, Gerber Good Start SoothePro (which mom group recommended). Baby is colic, so this one’s supposed to be better for her. She used to be on Gerber Gentlepro, so it’s not like she switched to a new brand. She’s not as uncomfortable, and she sleeps better, but these diapers are worse than any I’ve ever changed in my life

No. 356170

No I've always taken them on a full stomach. I threw up after like 7/8 hours after taking them. Wishful thinking for a baby ahh

No. 356178

Nope completely normal. I noticed as my baby got older diapers got stinkier especially during food switches

No. 356208

when did you guys know its the right time for you to have a baby? did it just happen for you or did you plan it?
im a massive over thinker in general and i feel like this will be the most important decision ill ever make, will i ever feel prepared enough or ready for it?

No. 356236

Planned. I got fired and my husband had a good salary so we decided it was a good time since I could just sahm. Also decided to buy a home, so we decided to started trying while we looked, ended up getting pregnant fast so we sped that up a bit, ended up closing on a home at 36 weeks and now I'm 37. There's never really a perfect time but there's plenty of times that are good enough, and as long as you're not in the WRONG time stuff will work out fine around it

No. 356250

I feel like people underestimate the amount of time it takes to get everything in order when you're pregnant. I found out I was pregnant in college, by the end of the semester I had already taken multiple pregnancy and parenting classes, had an apartment lined up, my husband had a good job lined up as well, and I spent the 2nd trimester getting the nursery ready, picking out a hospital and setting up the birth and everything was 100% ready by the time I gave birth. It's completely possible to TTC when you don't have anything "perfect" for the baby yet

No. 356255

File: 1698867602171.jpg (142.25 KB, 588x442, 1000011237.jpg)

You will have about 2-3 hour 'chunks' of freetime between feedings and napping all throughout the day. Newborns don't have a day-night cycle distinction so a baby will sleep, eat, sleep, eat for the first two weeks for about 2 hours sleep- 1/1.5 hours eating/awake. Week three is when it gets much tougher, babies start connecting their naps together so you will need to play and do tummy time with the baby during the day and try to just feed/nap super quietly at night. Best hobby for me was crocheting, watching some cooking shows while drinking tea, drawing new art for the nursery. Highly recommend making high contrast art for babies, they love black and white art. Crocheting hats is also very fast and fun, great use of time to make cute outfits that are seasonally themed.

No. 356325

I planned. I went back and forth as to whether I not I wanted a kid, and knew if I had one, it would just be one. when my sister told me she was pregnant I took a hard look at my life and realized I have a great job and an okay house so for me it felt "now or never."

My sister's first child was while she was working part time and in college as an undergrad. She made it work even as a single mom, now owns a home, has two masters degrees, a good job and a husband. Her first kid is 12 now and is well adjusted and doing well.

I think you can be successful no matter how prepared you are and like >>356250 said 9 months is a long time to get your house in order.

No. 356384

Pregnancy test was negative again this month. Sad

No. 356400

Sorry to hear Nonna, how many months have you been trying?

No. 356401

About 3. I know it's not that long but every month I get a bit sadder

No. 356420

It will happen, nonna. I did artificial insemination at home so it took me around 4 tries, and it took after I had been taking Eu Natural conception supplements for a month. Worth a try if you’re not already using them! Good wishes and good luck ♥

No. 356822

I've just found out I'm pregnant (1 week late on my period, yay) and I've just set up the meeting with the termination clinic but I have nobody to confide in except my bf. All my friends have wanted their pregnancies and love their kids, and I'd love for that to be us but we're not in a place financially or emotionally for it. I don't think counselling would help since we both want this termination, but it's just a hard concept to think about. I'm currently praying for a miscarriage before I go to the clinic, idk how to tell my job I'll need a day off for this.

No. 356824

I'm not trying to talk you out of it, that's your prerogative, but a lot of people aren't financially or emotionally ready for children yet live very fulfilling lives by keeping their babies.
Unless you're very mentally ill, you will regret it even if its 100% the right thing to do.
Be sure of your decision and only do it for YOU, not for your partner.
It is something that will stay with you even when you do eventually have children when you're ready.
Just tell your work you have an urgent medical procedure and if they ask further just say its private sorry I don't want to talk about it.

No. 356879

>Sex every day all week
Get it anon
But on a serious note if you're TTC try to have sex every 2-3 days, sex everyday can make sperm less potent

No. 356906

we dont usually have that much sex, i know every few days is better but hubs thought process was "better in there than not". Its been a few days now since we had sex but my period starts in 3ish days so I doubt I will get prengnant from any until then

No. 357071

That's not true, it doesn't diminish the sperm count. Having sex every day is the best for trying to conceive. If you wait 2-3 days the chance of your moid jerking off and spilling his coom into a toilet instead of you increases.

No. 357114

If you man jerks off because you have sex every 2-3 days instead of everyday you have no business reproducing with him anyway

No. 357135

My husband doesnt jerk off, unless hes doing it at work

No. 357141

Well may as well not reproduce with a moid then because cooming only once a day already counts as well adjusted for them, the vast majority of them do it twice a day at least and a man who only jerks off every 2-3 days is basically unheard of. They are monkeys who have to compulsively tug on their dicks.

At work, in the shower, in the bathroom when you think he is "pooping", while you are running an errand, while you are asleep, etc. Men always find a way to jerk off behind their partners back. They won't admit it to your face obviously.

No. 357142

I've honestly had this thought for a long time reading fertility communities that men masturbating and thus diminishing their sperm count is a huge factor in couples having fertility issues but it is not talked about at all because it's taboo to even say that a man should maybe jerk off less. Men can not be expected to exert this amount of self-control in order to keep their semen concentrated and reserved for their wife. Especially all of the women on reddit in the trying for baby subs who are married to gross fat reddit coomers who would rather watch hentai than make a baby with their wife.

No. 357156

Question about bras in second trimester.

I'm just entering my second trimester and obv my breasts have grown, but it's gotten to the point where I need to buy new bras. Are there any good recs for pregnancy bras? Or should I just buy a few regular cheap sets? My concern is if I shell out $50+ for a nice ones and then my breasts change size again.

I promise I'm not a moid, I tried googling this and only got adds for breastfeeding bras.

No. 357160

I wore only sports bras for the second and third trimesters tbh, they were much more comfortable and I didn’t get THAT big as I’m not really chesty, but my friend who is busty and got literal watermelons with her pregnancy also swore by sports bras. Zip front ones are really nice especially.

No. 357162

The world is much different now than it was 12 years ago. I’m not saying it’s impossible but doing anything independently is wayyyyy harder today than it was for previous generations. It’s something to take notice of if you’re consuming advice or looking at other peoples success stories.

No. 357163

Thank you! I'll try that. I was a B cup so I'm thinking a sports bra will be fine.

ayart, I didn't think about that and fully agree with you. I don't think she would be able to buy a home now, the home she owns is nicer than mine and was cheaper + she made about a 1/3 of what I make. The economy sucks.

No. 357167

I don't want my son to grow up in front of a screen. Initially my husband and I agreed on that prior to marriage, but now that our boy is here, he doesn't make an effort to keep him away. We live in a confined space of 600sq ft. and there's a massive TV in every room. I can't turn my infant away from it, without another being blatantly in his face. It's horrible for his eye development, but my husband's response is basically "too bad" instead of questioning the pervasive amount of electronics in out home. We had agreed to just have a TV only in the living room, so at least I could take my son to the bedroom where he wouldn't see a screen while feeding, but my husband just replaced the TV we had in our room with a new one. I can't get any peace. He has it turned on at night to sleep, and I am the opposite. I just want a quiet home. He wants more kids and is getting pissy, but I'm not dragging more people into this cramped, unpeaceful space. Children need to be grounded into the real world for several years before being introduced to electronics. Studies show impaired development, bad eyesight, and lower IQ before the age of 3. At the very least, we should wait that long.

No. 357168

>the home she owns is nicer than mine and was cheaper + she made about a 1/3 of what I make.
I hate this timeline

No. 357169

File: 1699222020653.gif (164.88 KB, 220x165, im-tired.gif)

Have you brought up the studies to him? Have you reminded him of what you both agreed upon? Having a tv in multiple rooms in a 600 sqft space is wild. He needs to keep tv time to when your son is asleep or away. I'm sorry you're in such a shit situation.

For the bedroom, can you suggest a white noise machine + a nightlight? There are a ton of options now with different types of sounds. Wishing you luck nona I hope he comes around.

unrelated but this gif is a daily conversation with myself. I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore.

No. 357171

Blackpilling honestly

No. 357175

It truly is. Whenever I see posts like that they make me really sad. Not that I think ‘oh I’m superior because I’m raising children with a woman’ but it makes me appreciate what I have a lot more. Being with a woman means she understands where I’m coming from a lot more easily even if we don’t agree on something, and compromise comes easily. My wife and I discuss everything to do with raising our kids as healthy as possible and one of those was zero screens until they’re at least five if we can help it. I would be devastated if she reneged and acted like that nonna's husband. It’s just a sign of disrespect tbh and also of a moid’s stubborn lazy “me do what me want” mentality. Of course there are good Nigel’s out there who make good fathers but that’s beside the point.

No. 357177

I have brought the studies up to him, and sometimes he's understanding and tries for a day or two, but just circles back that he can't anyway because my grandmother watches TV in the living room every morning. I have a blanket tied on my son's crib so that he can't see it. I already have a night light and white noise from our fans and AC. He specifically wants to "watch TV" which ends in him falling asleep in 5-15 minutes, and promptly getting mad when he finds I have turned it off after. He'll spend an hour or two looking for something to watch, but never actually watch it. He eats into sleep time he needs for work and then complains when he gets home that he can't sleep or spend time with baby because he's tired. It drives me nuts.

No. 357191

ayart this is awful - and there isn't much advice I can give but I hope you are able to protect your baby as much as possible. You are absolutely right in not wanting to have additional children with him. Obviously, I don't know the full scope of your relationship but maybe a family counseling session or visit with a priest if you are religious would be helpful. Best of luck nonna, you are a great mom.

No. 357195

The fuck are you talking about? Kek me and my husband are practically glued together (we run a business together) the only time he'd even be able to jerk off is while pooping, showering or whatever in which I'm constantly in and out anyway

No. 357199

>massive TV in every room
>has it turned on at night to sleep
American moids be like.

No. 357220

Get him headphones and make him watch it on his phone.

No. 357254

ok I really want a kid but I need to know a few things. Mums, is it really worth it? did it ruin your life like so many people say? Did you regret having children? how much did your life drastically change?

How do you deal with your awful husbands/boyfriends? Does the stress of doing everything make you go insane?

My worst fear is being abandoned and unable to deal with all the stress, mess and cleaning that needs to be done with the kids.

No. 357257

For me it was so, so worth it. My daughters bring so much joy and light into my life, and contrary to scrote rhetoric, my body is not “ruined.” Two years PP and my body is pretty much exactly as it was before (plus a few stripes of course). I always wanted to be a mom though, and i get a lot of fulfillment/contentment out of teaching them and watching them learn and grow, so much so that when there are fussy or sick days or days I am very tired, I still wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have a wife who helps me though, and a mom and MIL who also are available often to help with things well. I go to therapy once a week. I think having the right partner is so crucial—unless you are very rich and want to just do it alone, which is pretty based also. I’m not gonna lie, it’s about self sacrifice and quite a lot of it, but if you have at least a partner who does their fair share and picks up the slack/unburdens you when you need it, you aren’t going to burn out completely. Newborn days were a lot, their first year was a lot, but they just turned 2 and they’re so smart and funny and absolutely sweet. They teach me just as much as I teach them. My wife and babies are the best thing that ever happened to me.

BUT, tldr; there are a lot of arguments that can be made against having children and they are valid. It’s about what’s right for YOU.

No. 357259

He will still sometimes let the baby look at his phone if he's laying on the bed with him or in his arms. He also has a computer in the living room he games on, same issue.

No. 357260

Hmmm, is there anyway you could arrange the PC so its not facing the baby?
The phone thing at least needs to be cut.

No. 357264

We have discussed it, but it's unforeseeable at the moment. The house was renovated from a 1920s craftsman style in the 60s by someone with absolutely no contracting experience. The living room opens to all rooms in the house and is mostly doorways. Windows were forcibly put in close to the floor and make it hard to arrange furniture. If it wasn't so full of my grandmother's ginormous Anglo-Saxon oak furniture, we'd all fit comfortably, but she's not parting with any of it. Getting her to allow us to move one cabinet to another end of the room was a 3 day fight, even though she hasn't touched any of it in 30 years from the dusty documents inside and admitting she feels there's too much and we could do what we wanted with some of the stuff she didn't care for or use. She says one thing, and then flips 180 the next day. She's really unable to get around here and has rapidly declining health where it is hard to walk. She's grappling on furniture that can really hurt her if it comes down. It's just a clown show here. I appreciate everyone trying to be helpful.

No. 357269

That's lovely. I see that it could be different from you, you have a wife not a general narc scrote husband. If I was rich I would 100% be doing it alone but sadly no. You also mentioned daughters. You're so blessed and lucky. I want kids but also terrified of having a boy. I always thought it was a little cringe when some women say they'll abort if it's a boy and I don't even agree with abortion but I hate scrotes so much I really don't want a boy. If it's a boy I might abort it. I want a daughter soooo soo bad.

No. 357285

>If it wasn't so full of my grandmother's ginormous Anglo-Saxon oak furniture, we'd all fit comfortably, but she's not parting with any of it.
Solidarity anon, I've been in a similiar situation.

No. 357289

My husband is a great and very involved dad so none of it was an issue. I actually like my body better after because I have bigger hips and breasts. You learn to grow up and be responsible very quick since it's no longer you and your dumb mistakes but something as small as not getting out of bed all day will not do. My children are the only reason why I pushed through medical school as well and took care of my health

No. 357353

>Goes through one of the most traumatic experiences a woman can go through and starts shit posting to lolcow about how a breast pump turns you into a horny hentai character

No. 357360

File: 1699335538386.jpg (831.36 KB, 1280x853, 8-x-18-custom-blank-canvas-mad…)

I used to live in a loft apartment that was renovated from a 100+ year old building. We got these big stretched canvases and used them to divide a section of the loft into a sortakinda TV room. Try that.

No. 357372

Tracker says I'm meant to get my period today.
I'm praying I'm pregnant and wont get it, but I tested last week and it was negative.
Wishful thinking

No. 357375

This might work. Thanks anon. I bought a canvas kids tent on Amazon to give my son a separate space, but I think even that is too big.
Wishful thinking you're pregnant, or that you tested a week early? You don't know until at least 1 day after your missed period, and sometimes it takes a few days after that for cheapie tests or if you ovulated late.

No. 357376

Both, the test I took was one that says it can detect up to 6 days before your period is due to start

No. 357403

Idk on those things I always test positive on or after my period. Be patient and test again, probably give it a week. I get it though cause my first pregnancy I tested early, negative, and insisted I knew I was pregnant. Husband thought I was delusional, then I kept making us buy more and tested daily until sometime like a day or two after my missed period I finally got the faint line. I'm not sure how I knew but I knew 100% when it happened, there was like a weird oily feeling under my skin

No. 357416

I got apprehensive about birth, asked my mother for advice. She gave birth to 4 kids, later 3 without epidural and all were 9-10 pounds. She said not to think of the labor as "pain" but as "work" and said "it's a looooot of work but as long as you see it as working towards a goal it's ok". She also said if she had to pick giving birth or getting the flu for a week she'd give birth. That blew me away is that normal or is she built different? Both my sisters and my friend had c sections so I got no other irl people to go off of

No. 357421

After birth the body releases a cocktail of hormones that makes you forget the pain and our brains are amazing at downplaying how awful birth is, otherwise you'd never ever do it again and everyone would only have one child. Old women especially like to downplay it and they also love to brag about giving birth without medication. I gave birth a year ago. It was the worst thing I ever did in my entire life, but it's worth it cause you get a perfect little human out of it that makes it all better. Still fucking terrible tho.

No. 357463

I'm feeling frustrated. I've been ttc and my period is over a week late, but every pregnancy test I've taken has come out negative. TMI but I started spotting yesterday and assumed I'd get my period today, but instead it's still just spotting with no red. It's unusual for me to spot for this long. I'm frustrated. I want my period to either start for real or for a pregnancy test to give me a positive already. Waiting is stressful enough, I don't want to have these mixed messages.

No. 357485

All of my pregnancies every single blood test was negative, the only foolproof way was via ultrasound

No. 357489

I have heard that it’s different after the first baby but my three day unmedicated labor was exhausting. I have a horrible flu that I’ve had to cook, clean, work, and take care of a sick baby through. I would choose to be sick. I think your mom is forgetting the pain and not considering that later births are usually easier, barring complications.

No. 357506

nonnies she's a girl!! I'm having another girl my daughter is having a little sister AHHHHH!!!! I would have been happy either way but I'll admit now that I know, the thought of them growing up together as sisters is so sweet to me. I am a little worried though as during the 16 week scan her body is on target for growth but her head is in the 91st percentile? My OB was a little concerned, I'm up at MFM for neonatal lupus monitoring and such later this month, so I know whatever is going on they'll tell me. Should I be worried? Or is my girl just gonna have a big noggin?

No. 357514

Congratulations! I find out tomorrow and am hoping for a similar results. I have one older sister and we have a great relationship.

I started experiencing round ligament pain today and this sucks, I never want to be pregnant again.

No. 357525


My daughter had the same thing, but 90th. She’s fine developmentally but she did have a slightly bigger head coming out. Nothing scary or anything, just a longer birth. And hospital cap fit her perfectly rather than kinda big like most do

No. 357554

Ahh best of luck!! Let us know the news when you come back, thank you for your sweet words. Ugh round ligament pain sucks, but it will get better at some point. Prenatal yoga, even just basic vids on YouTube really help me. Hang in there.

Thank you nonna, that puts my mind at ease. I can deal with labor, and the idea of her head actually filling out hats is super cute. My first daughter's hats were always big kek. I just want her to be healthy and happy. Already picked out a name, I love her so much.

No. 357575

Let’s talk about cute things our little ones did as babies/toddlers.

I’ll start, I have 3 year old and 4 month old daughters now, and 3 year old loves to play “mommy” with her baby sister. She has a little wooden doll crib with a plush mattress that rocks, and she sometimes takes her sister from the swinger and puts her in the crib with her blanket and rocks her. I will usually take the baby back to her crib once 3 year old gets bored, but it’s so cute that she loves her sister so much

No. 357580

Nonna that is so freaking precious i bet you take loads of pics of that. My newly turned 2 year olds have a play kitchen with tons of things and they both pretend to be me when they cook lmao they babble in this very teacherly tone of voice I use when my wife has them in the kitchen like at the table and I’m cooking. I pretend I’m doing a kid’s cooking show for them and clearly they watch because they mimic all these little gestures like rinsing dishes and one even told the other “don’t touch iss hot, ouch!!” about the pretend stove the other day. They are really sweet with each other always holding hands and giving cheek pecks and it makes me so happy. I hope they will always be best friends ♥ now I’m tearing up kek

No. 357586

When should I test for pregnancy? My period is 3 days late but it might be the tracker being wrong.
Hopeful thinking, I want a baby so bad

No. 357611

mine says "baaaeeebeeeee" when she sees babies and will try to bottle feed everything including our dog when she was 8 months old

No. 357622

Had my first ultrasound where it actually kind of looked like a baby. It was waving it's little arms around, I'm not normally a crier but several years of joy ran down my face. I know it's just pregnancy emotions but this was the first time I really felt happy being pregnant.

No. 357708

Is it worth it to get the tdap shot at 38 weeks? I forgot about it and didn't get it, I might ask about it at my next visit or I heard it's ok to get it at the hospital after the baby is born since the anti-bodies still transfer via breastmilk. Getting worried because my family has decided they want to swarm and I'll feel rude telling them to wait till his first shot

No. 357817

I finally got permission to get rid of the oversized oak table!

The evidence for the tdap shot is lacking; there isn't sufficient research to conclude any measurable benefit from the amount of antibodies mother has passed from the placenta, as it's very little. It's up to you if getting the vaccine is worth the potential it might protect your family. I got it. As for your family, it's your baby, and your recovery. You're not rude to make them wait as long as you are respectful in voicing your boundaries.

No. 357908

Me again, I tested today because still no period and it said negative.
My app was on time last month.
Wishful thinking but maybe the tests are wrong??
I'll wait another week or so before buying another test.
I have small cramp feelings though.
Could my pre natal vitamins i've been taking affect that at all?
Within the last week I've had heart flutters too?

No. 357913

Sorry anon, we know how excited and frustrated you feel. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do but wait. Testing a day after your missed period is just the MINIMUM wait time. Implantation occurs 6-11 days after reaching the egg. It takes 9 days after for the hormones to spike to a detectable level. You're testing at the minimum 15 day mark. Your HCG isn't high enough or your period is coming late. I thought I might be pregnant again, but my period was a whole week late, despite being consistent for months. It's possible I had a chemical pregnancy that disappeared before a positive result, and I'm sorry to bum you out, but that might be a potential for you as well.

No. 357956

Good opportunity to necro here: this is called attachment parenting. You're gonna laugh, but it is in fact a right wing psyop (just like AP adjacent lactivistm). It's not new. I recommend looking it up, it's pretty cowish.

No. 357985

No I completely believe it, I noticed the more extreme versions of, quite literally, not letting baby be put down for a literal minute are only ever spread by alt right men. I have no clue why people try to put extreme amounts of pressure on women and convince them nothing they do as a parent will never be correct, like at that point you might as well tell moms to off themselves

No. 357989

I had three positive ovulation tests 15 days ago and I have not gotten my period yet but also am testing negative on pregnancy tests. I guess I didn't ovulate afterall? I know it's possible to get a positive ovulation test but not ovulate, but now what do I do??? This entire time I didn't do any more ovulation tests obviously and now I am just waiting for my period which doesn't want to come. It's so unbelievably frustrating. I wish I had a normal cycle, TTC with irregular cycles is such a pain in the ass I honestly am so fed up with it.

No. 357991

Samefag to add that last time I got pregnant I tested positive 9 days post ovulation, but I also confirmed ovulation by measuring temperature. I didn't feel like taking my temperature every day this time so I guess that's my own fault. I for some reason though this time I will just all let it happen "naturally" and not obsess over it but ofc I am obsessing again anyways… Sigh.

No. 358144

TTC anons - do not consume biotin 3-5 days before a pregnancy test! I've had multiple pregnancies but could never figure out why I never had a positive test, turns out biotin causes false negatives

No. 358161

Huh that's interesting, is the biotin in prenatal vitamins enough to cause this? That'd be really weird since all prenatals I ever took had biotin in them and I think most women who are TTC start prenatals early as it's recommended.

No. 358217

I think it does this in very high doses, I'm not sure how much a prenatal has

No. 358222

I'm worried how my back problems could affect me in pregnancy and birth. I've had spinal fusion and still have chronic back pain. I've read that contractions during birth could lead to another disc herniation and because of the scar tissue from surgery administration of an epidural could be difficult, so a c-section would possibly have to be done under general anaesthesia. Im not pregnant yet and will definitely discuss these topics with my obgyn beforehand but maybe some nonnies here can relate/share experiences ?

No. 358244

I hate visiting my mother in law. She gets her germs on my baby and overstimulates her. She tries to get her to crawl by shaking a toy in her face. She’s not a circus pony! She also doesn’t like handing her back when it’s time to leave. I’m always worked up for a while after a visit.

No. 358312

alot of biotin is bad for the baby anyway

No. 358313

Still no period, I'm having tiny cramping though?
The test I took was a "early detection" one that apparently shows up 6 days before a period.
If I dont get my period next week I'm going to buy a different test and test again. Trying hard not to think I'm pregnant though

No. 358316

I had to terminate because my baby had a high chance of down syndrome and a cystic hygroma. My first and only child was born with a congenital heart defect. I'm strongly considering IVF with PGA testing to drastically reduce the chances of chromosomal abnormalities and good egg/sperm health. The abortion was traumatic and I already miss my baby girl.

No. 358319

I have a redpill stalker who shamed me for wanting to go out to a bar with friends something I never get to do and I am not breastfeeding. Men like this suffer from some sort of Norman Bates like psychosis and I hope any women in their lives are at a safe distance because you know these motherfuckers rack up dv charges like its nothing.
You have a right to alone time, interests outside of care taking, as well as a night out or two every once in a while. Unless you're railing lines of drugs in front of your kid or just leaving them alone you're doing fine.

No. 358349

my skin has been feeling the omission of retinol, and while i'm sure it will adjust, i was curious if anyone had luck with pregnancy friendly alternatives? how did you maintain skincare throughout this retinol free time?

No. 358355

Nonna I'm so sad and heartbroken for you, take as much time as you need to heal. Take care.

No. 358366

File: 1699808805061.jpg (96.78 KB, 804x439, 1000006929.jpg)

I feel like cervix tracking is just absolutely and utter bullshit and woo. Not the mucus but the position/opening. It literally is different for me every single day and during different times of the day. Up and down like a fucking yoyo and open and closes like a fish mouth. There is zero consistency in it'a behavior. Is my cervix just bipolar or what? Do any of you actually have a cervix that behaves like in the diagrams?

No. 358388

It was heartbreaking but the idea of taking care of two high needs children one of which will never be independent is way worse than what I had to go through. I wanted to hold a memorial for her even though I never kept the remains.Luckily my insurance has great fertility benefits and I'm willing to spend whatever it takes to get that healthy baby girl. I'm doing ok just mostly numb.

No. 358397

Don't you think it's a bit irresponsible to keep having children when you already know your genetics aren't producing healthy offspring? IVF is so dystopian, I can not imagine what it's going to do to the gene-pool to let all these people who were not meant to reproduce continue their bad genetics. People are going to have so many more health issues in the future from doctors intervening where nature said "no".

No. 358432

IVF kids, especially those conceived with not-ideal genetic material, are also more prone to cancers and other diseases that develop later in life.

No. 358434

wrong thread

No. 358436

Wdym wrong thread? It's cruel to bring sick kids into this world to suffer. If I couldn't have a healthy baby naturally like I did, I'd foster or adopt instead.

No. 358492

I once seen a tiktok of a woman who was freshly postpartum showing her padsicle, ofc the comments got spammed with moids telling her shes a stupid woman and that "baby is crying for mom", calling her a bad mother and saying she needed to get her kids taken away. nevermind shit MILs nowadays who also overbear modern moms. It's no wonder moms nowadays start cutting off family and friends since no one seems to be capable of being around moms without being a cunt

No. 358493

unrelated to the shit genetic aspect, every person I knew who got IVF was a complete narc, especially if they have had children previously. I have yet to meet a non-narc person who did IVF

No. 358497

No one gives a shit

No. 358530

So far pregnancy is one of the nicest things I've experienced in my life, especially due to not having my periods anymore. I've never felt so happy and balanced in my life. I wonder how many women think they're crazy or depressed and are actually just being fucked up by their periods.

No. 358531

You're getting shat on but I agree and I think cruelty should be criticized even in a thread about motherhood.

No. 358538

I gotta agree, I used to get suicidally depressed every PMS for a week before my period. Literally nothing would activate dopamine, video games, tv whatever would habe the same effect on me as staring at the wall. I'd have to white knuckle my way to relief when the actual period started every single month. Pregnancy has been the best I've felt in a long time, I'm 38 weeks now and been in a normal good mood the whole time and then randomly had a day where I got the PMS blues again. Floored, idk how tf I did that every month. Not looking forward to it again

No. 358549

Never met an ivf kid that hasnt had a slew of health issues/mental retardation.

And tbh ops genes might be perfectly fine, its probably a mattter of incompatible genes with her partner. Most women who have fertility issues "magically" get pregnant when they get with a different man.

No. 358557

Just got my period today. It was our first cycle trying for #2. I am sad but even more so now because if I get pregnant on my next cycle there is a very high chance my second baby will have a birthday very close to my first child. I'm scared they will have the same birthday and have to share it, I'm sure that would suck for them. But I also don't want to waste a cycle just because that might happen? Idk what to do tbh.

No. 358567

The likelihood of #2 being born on the same day is pretty slim. If they're a few days out then you could have parties one weekend and the weekend after.
It's up to you if you want to skip next month, but personally I wouldn't.
Also you could get pregnant later but have complications and the baby has to be delivered early.

No. 358578

Could it also be the fact people who get IVF tend to have weird relationships (younger woman, man twice her age?) From what I've noticed with these couples, even if they're able to conceive naturally, their kid ends up having health and mental problems (and no, please don't come in with poor anedotes). Hell my parents are "only" 7 years apart and I have health problems because of it yet idiots are running around reproducing with moids who could be their dad's wondering why their kid always has a new health problem

No. 358579

My brother and I have birthdays one week apart, never had an issue with it. Don't worry about it too much.

No. 358581

The chances of that happening are miniscule but if you're genuinely worried, just skip the cycle? One cycle is nothing in a lifetime.

No. 358590

God I want a cheeseburger and chocolate shake so fucking bad right now holy shit HOLY SHIT

No. 358591

Get one. Pregnancy has given me the craziest craving for sugar, I used to barely eat it before now I can't get enough

No. 358593

What part of "age gap" do you get all of this??

No. 358598

Still no period.. trying not to be excited.
If I am pregnant, would it be too soon to announce on Christmas?

No. 358601

It depends on how much help you need. If you need lots of support yeah announce it early, if you have everything lined up then I personality wouldn't announce it until a few months after birth kek. I was a week overdue and nothing bothered me more than the baby watch crew calling daily, even my own parents (given, they're crazy, but still) accused me of giving up the baby for adoption because I wasnt able to text them fast enough after my baby was born (I was completely on my own btw, husband worked long shifts which means i had to feed every 2 hours, pump after, change diapers in-between, and hope i can eat or sleep with the little time i did have)

No. 358603

Same fag, this was the first place I “announced” kek so just wanted to follow up as I’m on leave now, eagerly awaiting labor to get going… was having regular, but painless, contractions last night/this morning. Still having a few here and there, hoping they ramp up again and we go into active labor tonight or some time tomorrow. My due date is the 19th so we’re getting close. Send me and baby your energy nonnas, I don’t wanna be pregnant another weekend.

No. 358609

Only announce it to people if you're okay with them knowing if something goes wrong. I made that mistake, ended up being very awkward. This time I just told my best friend and waited until like 24 weeks when I was showing to tell more people

No. 358621

>gave birth to a boy

>he keeps pooping on his balls

why are scrotes like this

No. 358624

lmao nonny! don't call your baby a scrote lol

No. 358625


No. 358632

No doubt he picked up this kind of behavior from his father

No. 358635

No. 358656

File: 1699918354248.jpg (159.84 KB, 1500x1500, 71wCRYepJsL.jpg)

I'm trying to figure out when it will be appropriate to tell my director I'm pregnant. I'm currently 11 weeks and things are going well.

Everyone at my workplace is super supportive and most are women. All of my co-workers have had births while working here and my workplace is in general very family oriented. My current boss knows but is going on maternity leave next week so my director will become my supervisor while she is out. My boss has not told the director nor HR but given that I have a lot of dr. Appointments I think I should tell my director?

When did you all tell your workplace officially?

No. 358669

How long have you been working there? I got fired as soon as I started showing because I had a high risk pregnancy and wanted to wear proper PPE when dealing with a crazy c diff patient known for throwing his poop

No. 358672

Almost a year, our probation is 6 months so I'm officially full-time. It's a public job but there is no union and my government has an "at-will" stance on employment meaning you can be fired for lots of silly reasons. Another employee in my dept deferred her employment by 4 months so she could have her baby before starting which is wild to me.

Thanks for your feedback, waiting is probably the best bet.

No. 358774

Average misbegotten front pole abandonment issues+obsolescence panic.

Btw, why does the baby automatically need mommy? I thought fathers were important and essential.

No. 358775

wait til he grows up and starts urinating all over your bathroom

No. 358846

Because when kids want to have fun people assume it's going to do exciting stuff with dad, when something is wrong the mom gets blamed. You can even see it in adulthood - if a kid is successful people credit their dad, if a kid grew up to suck it's because Mom didn't try hard enough
>Inb4 muh single mom study!
A lot of the times those kids come from already broken homes but the mom was just the one who stayed, nevermind the fact this mindset alone creates more criminals because it attempts to dodge blame from the actual criminal and blame it on the mom

No. 358863

Man just get a c-section, fuck that shit.

No. 358886

File: 1700032084619.jpg (148.4 KB, 780x585, OB_C_1083-library_medium.jpg)

During a C-section, a doctor makes an incision through seven different layers of tissue. You then have to heal from that shit while taking care of a newborn. There is nothing wrong with having a C-section but they're absolutely not the easy way out.

No. 358890

Holy shit you have actually returned. Anyway we both know it’s because they all have persistent mommy issues and think every woman exists to meet their needs.

No. 358921

I got my period today. Quite sad. My period has never been 8 days late like that before. Do you think I could have been pregnant but it just wasn't viable and that's why I'm on my period now?

No. 358954

I'm a little over four months now, have been having terrible sharp pains, fatigue, nausea and cramps. I've been freaking out thinking something is wrong. I'm fucking constipated. Literally went to the hospital to be told I was full of shit.

No. 358992

Try dates! They aren’t just for cervical ripening.

No. 359380

i'm going through something similar i have been in and out of the doctors office and triage 3 times this week, i got blood tests, ultrasounds, and urine samples. All have come back with nothing and my baby appears okay. I'm getting an internal ultrasound next week and am hoping I'm not full of shit so I dont feel bad about going to the doctor so much.

No. 359586

File: 1700287743956.jpg (467.33 KB, 1080x2340, Screenshot_20231118_010528_Chr…)

Why the fuck is due date 40 weeks when the average is 40 weeks and 6 days and only 50% of women give birth before then?
Doctor said he's going to induce labor if I go near 41 weeks and I'm 39 weeks tomorrow. I'm eating dates and breast pumping to try and speed this up

No. 359626

I was 11 days overdue. And they estimated I was further along than what my last period would calculated the due date as because I got a heartbeat super early And the baby looked more developed, I was probably damn near 2-3 weeks overdue really.

Unless you're having any sort of complications just assume you'll be overdue because it happens to most women

No. 359687

I have really bad spicy cravings at night and end up downing jalapenos and hot sauce crackers then puke it all up in the morning because of morning sickness. Yayyy

No. 359699

Tell your doc to fuck off, he's not going to do shit unless you consent to it. Babies come when tey're ready and your placenta doesn't just expire after 40/41/42 weeks.
Also be weary of them wanting to do a cervical check, because if they're very induction-happy they might sweep your membrames without even asking

No. 359858

Is this the right place to post this vent? I don't want to post it in the /ot/ vent thread because I feel like I'm going to get shit on. But anyways, in August last year I got pregnant, it wasn't planned. After a lot of back and forth I got an abortion at about 8 weeks. I remember the day very well, I just went to the clinic, filled out a form and they gave me a pill. I remember not wanting to take it, I was sobbing and I was such a mess, but I mistakenly thought that if I went home without taking it I'd regret it. Well it was quite the opposite. It's been well over a year and I regret it everyday.

I had a dream last night I got pregnant again. I told my mom in the dream and she was so happy for me, and so was I. I felt complete again. I feel so bad about my decision and I feel like I will never get over it. I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this. I just feel so alone in feeling this way, especially since it seems like my bf has completely gotten over it.

No. 360000

Sending you hugs and support, that's not an easy situation to be in at all.
Think about it logically. You got an abortion for a reason. It was an unplanned pregnancy, would you have been able to take care of the baby? Your boyfriend 'got over it' already, does that seem like dad material to you? If you'd had the baby, would he have pulled his weight? How much did you have on your plate, and how possible would it have been for you to carry and take care of a child as well?
I'm so sorry you went through this but again, you did go through with the abortion for a reason. Of course looking at it logically won't make the situation any easier but it does give you a clearer perspective of why you made that decision in the first place.

No. 360036

Just an awful situation to be in, and the decision wasn't going to be easy either way. It sounds like there was a lot of pressure too. You can look back and regret it now but ultimately there's no way to know how things would have gone otherwise. Maybe at 12 weeks can the baby is inviable, or after your boyfriend neglects his side of the responsibility. You can't compare your decision to a best case scenario of the alternative. The alternative doesn't exist so its easy to fill it in with something you're longing for and imagine tje grass greener. It's better to take it as something that's happened to you and move forward with what you know in mind. Eventually the timing will be better, and you can have a baby and tell your mother under good circumstances

No. 360064

do they have a project rachel near you? it helps women who are traumatized by abortion

No. 360206

I'm a little bit worried we stirred up our baby too much… Since she was born my husband has always played "rough" with her, but never out of proportion to her age. I was really happy with the progress up until now (she is 9 months old). He theorised that play and bodily exercise was going to be really good for her development and he did a lot of tummy time with her and she is already walking and saying two words over and over, so I know it has paid off for her in a lot of ways. She is just now lately… really strong, active, energetic, and she squirms and pushes me and wriggles out of my arms and is getting demanding and has high energy needs and, yeah… I guess all put in a list like that they sound like good things, and they are, but she never slows down or calms down and cuddles with us and I partially think it's because her Dad has been so full on with her from the beginning. He hasn't done anything wrong, he had a theory that her development would be tied to physical play, and he was right in a lot of ways, it was all done with careful consideration, it's just now I'm worried it has kind of backfired on us and she will be a danger to other kids at places like daycare.

No. 360212

There's probably and equal chance that's just naturally her disposition. Some kids are just prone to being more energetic and active. Still might be good to try and incorporate slower methods of play and less stimulating toys, like puzzles. Being comfortable sitting still is also an important skill

No. 360251

I got back on a birth control pill a month ago, the past five days have been the sugar pills. I still haven’t gotten my first period on it. I don’t understand why, but I really crave to be pregnant again. I don’t want to get my period. I’m really good at taking my pill the same time everyday, but damn a girl can dream. I really don’t understand this deep desire.

I’ve also been super nauseous the past few days, but not at morning sickness level. Why am I like this?

No. 360491

File: 1700643425184.jpg (120.97 KB, 1500x1489, 71Fj1UX3dQL._AC_SL1500_.jpg)

Did any of you guys get one of those maternity pillow ? Was it useful and did it give you a comfy sleep ? It looks so gigantic to me…

No. 360494

For me it didn't do much plus I couldn't cuddle my husband. Get a good fan, and inner tube to sleep on your stomach

No. 360495

Teaching her to be able to calm down and relax is important. Children need to be able to wind down or they'll stress themselves out.

Place some importance on soothing and calming types of play too, and times of doing nothing.

No. 360508

I got the cocozy. Personally was a lifesaver, I'm a backsleeper so keeping myself on my side was difficult and as I got bigger the back + stomach support helped a lot, plus pillow between the knees. Worth it for me

No. 360599

My husband got me one of these things. I hate/love it. I like the long tube part since i was a side sleeper prior to pregnancy and it helps me a lot to alleviate some of the discomfort like back pain.

What I hate, is the fact that it wraps around. I'd like to be able to at least feel my husband next to me. I also hate the pillow part because I'd rather use my pillow.

I would personally go for just the single long tube pillows.

I'm not brave enough to tell my husband I hate it, since it was a very sweet surprise.

No. 361179

File: 1700967268380.jpg (1.13 MB, 4032x3024, 20231126_135337.jpg)

Idk what im doing wrong with my basal tracking but my temp goes up and down heaps

No. 361207

Happy due date to me, now where the FUCK is my baby!!

No. 361265

File: 1701011829488.jpeg (101.69 KB, 750x942, 34CEEE9E-6038-43C4-B8DE-9C0921…)

Pretty cranky about this. This kid is just squirming around and ramming up against my cervix for the past 2 weeks, like please vacate the premises now.

No. 361491

I'm scared, I want to have a kid but I'm past the proper age (33). I wanted to have a kid in my mid/late 20s but not everyone gets that lucky to find a partner,especially when depresssed.
I was told that past 30 it's a lottery if you get a healthy child or not and I'm being bashed left and right for not being a mom yet.
I wish you all pregnant nonnas all the best, I wish I'll be one of you one day.

No. 361508

33 is a perfectly safe age to have a baby. Get nipt and take folic acid.

No. 361511

That is not past proper age, wtf? If you were in your 40s then yeah its a bit risky but girl you are fine to have kids in your 30s

No. 361524

33 is like the average age for most women to have their first child now anyway. Don’t listen to outdated medical advice from the 1800s

No. 361534

Did you have your baby yet anon

No. 361558

how do you deal with weirdly increasing mom-hate in the US? it just feels like the entire world is against you and you're not even allowed to exist. You're hated by all sides of the spectrum, and if you leave your house without your partner people assume you're a single mom and continue hating you from there or make very gross judgements

No. 361563

It's just luck. I'm a medfag and I knew a mother and a father aged 20-21yet their child had two metabolic disorders.
You can use ivf, it decreases the chances of some of the diseases that have known genetic defects. Good luck, don't lose hope.

No. 361576

Isn't it just the increasing misogyny overall? They hate every woman, women who don't want children even more ime

No. 361589

Nonnas……..I’m ~carrying bean~ again. I’ve posted before about my two year old twins and my amazing wife who I’m a big dumb simp for and well…yeah, we decided we wanted another little one so they’re close in age with their sisters. She’s younger than me (I’m 32, she’s 29) so she said she could wait her turn to be the pregnant one and I’m just over the moon. Absolutely bonkers with happy. We used the same donor (we plan to do it for any we may have including ones she might carry so all the kids will be “related”) and because he’s just a good specimen tbh. Healthy, normie, attractive and not American born. It’s early on so we’re not telling anyone really yet, but everything looks good and I’m beyond excited. It’s like an early Christmas present, I hope we have another girl!!!!

No. 361603

No and I’m feeling a bit depressed about it today. My midwife said 41+3 is average for first time moms, but I’m getting worried I’m going to end up being induced. It just seems like nothing is happening beyond fake contractions for weeks now.

No. 361654

I feel like I've gotten more hate as a mother than when I was outspoken about not wanting kids tbh. I use to be militantly childfree and at worst I'd get tradthots saying something rude and then that's it. As a mother I've had multiple men blow up my DMs with hate comments for even ASSUMING I'm a single mom (I'm not)

No. 361722

you’ll be fine, a family member had a healthy baby at 44 this year. that was risky, but don’t worry too much. you’re still very young and in a very healthy age range.

No. 361735

Same. Also even with my wedding band dudes keep hitting on me when they see me with my babies. They obviously don't believe me that I'm not available and not interested, and then get shocked when my husband turns up.

There's always this air of "you should be honoured that I'm considering a used person like you"

No. 361866

I’m really stressed and worried. Two weeks ago I found out I’m pregnant, I’m waiting for my dr to call me to make my first appointment.

Today I started spotting, it was bright pink now brown. Is this even normal? I’ll tell my dr, but I just got a referral yesterday and don’t even know my gyno yet. She is supposed to call this wk

No. 362004

It sounds like implantation bleeding. It'd be more worrying if it was going from brown to bright red

No. 362022

Labor is so slow… im 40+4 and have started cramping and having contractions occasionally, mucus plug came out. Everytime I stand up I either have to poop or pee, can't leave the house cause it's that bad. The cramps make it constant. I also feel weird mentally, kind of out of it. It's been like this for two days with gradual progression, I feel like it's gonna take two days longer. I hope it's soon this SUCKS

No. 362064

I'm in my second trimester now and I know I'm supposed to build a registry but I just can't find the energy or care to do research on so many baby products.

No. 362345

Every birth story sounds like a body horror movie plot to me. Just gross.

No. 362367

genuinely wondering where americans got this idea from because listening to this horseshit as someone from a country where women panic about accidental pregnancy until menopause and until about 30 years ago had like 40 birth control abortions within their marriages is like watching a twilight zone episode

No. 362643

This, the average woman right up until the 1930s stopped giving birth at around 42-43. Too many nonas have been poisoned by redpill horsehit about how every woman over 30 is a barren hag.

No. 362736

where did you get the ridiculous idea that 33 is too old? i got pregnant on the first try and had a healthy baby at the age of 33. most of the women at my ob office were 30+.

No. 362739

Feeling your struggle nona. 39+3 here and everyday the past week I wake up with cramping and tearing back pains. Today I lost bits of my plug, and every time I think "this is it" but the sensations just gradually fade away lol. Mentally I'm totally off and picking fights with my husband because I'm so frustrated and grumpy. No energy to get out of the house or do anything productive, but also bored af which contributes to my shitty mood. Then every day there's some new symptom that raises my hopes. Hoping you've delivered or are close to it, as well as the 41 week anon.

No. 362790

>I was told that past 30 it's a lottery if you get a healthy child or not
uhhh anon at 33 you're at the optimal state to get a kid, it's statistically safer to have a kid at 33 than at 25 believe it or not

No. 362796

At 33 you're starting to get out of the optimal window to have kids. Best time is late 20s early 30s.

No. 362805

Here's a detail purposely leave out when fearmongering about "the optimal time frame": the difference between the optimal handful of years and the rest of your 30s is marginal.

No. 362811

I’ve never been pregnant and I don’t plan on getting pregnant for the next ten-ish years but how unrealistic is it of me to try and get an elective c section? I’m aware of all the risks and everything but I know I wouldn’t be able to handle a vaginal delivery, that’s just me, regardless though being a mother is really important to me and I’d much rather deliver surgically. Has anyone here asked for a c section without medical reason before and gotten one? I read that doctors usually try and push vaginal deliveries onto women that ask and decline to perform the surgery but do you think I’d have a better chance if I offered to pay out of pocket? I know it’s a lot of money but to me it would be worth it.

No. 362815

Isn't it the opposite? Doctors are happy to perform a c-section because it gets you out of the delivery room faster. Just say "I want a c-section" after you go into labor and they'll wheel you right over to surgery in ten seconds, I've seen it happen.

No. 362819

it depends on the doctor. I'm on my second pregnant, I'm showing all the signs for twins but it hasn't been officially confirmed yet. I'm scared since I didn't progress very fast for my first and almost had to get a c section. imo an elective is better than emergency

No. 362833

Tokophobia tends to be a valid reason.

No. 362874

If you’re already in labor this can be really difficult, because if the baby is descended too far down it’ll have to be an emergency cesarean which is apparently way more dangerous if you’re already in the process of giving birth.

If you’re trying to elect a C-section its always better to be upfront about that birth plan preference with your provider/obstetrician to see what your options are once the time comes, because I’m sure they’d be willing to grant you one if you’re paying out of pocket.

No. 362884

currently pregnant rn, in a due date group I'm in several women have requested elective caesareans when they go to deliver. Don't wait till you're in labor, they will schedule it beforehand.

that said, recovery can be shit (vaginal birth recovery can also be shit!)

No. 362889

This is off topic but since anonymous already mentioned c-sections I want to ask why people act so weird when it comes to that.

Like people will transformation traditions and say misogynist-tier things about how women with c-sections aren't real mothers or that they're vain and vapid etc etc. It's really weird because those women carry a baby in their stomach too but just because their delivery process is different such as a doctor helping them by cutting them open to get the baby out that gets these women branded as "not real mothers" like…

Either way even if a woman gets a c-section for vapid reason….who cares. It's got nothing to do with you and doesn't have anything to do with someone's parenting abilities

No. 362907

People also seem to think c sections are easier. I haven't had one but the recovery seems like hell.

No. 362925

would c sections b ideal for multiples?

No. 362942

They think the woman is being lazy and taking the easy way out, that's it. People still believe women are made to suffer and that you don't become a "real" woman until you've endured the pain of childbirth.

No. 362954

I’ve never undergone pregnancy so I'm sorry for speaking out of line here, but there are health risks associated with c-sections, both for the mother and the child. I don’t think women should get hate for having had a delivery by c-section, but I think it’s misinformed to think it’s a walk in the park, or entirely the same as giving vaginal birth. There is evidence babies delivered by c-section are more prone to autoimmune diseases amongst other things, probably because vaginal birth helps establishing the child’s gut microbiota. These days I think it’s normal to give the baby a bacterial swab after c-section delivery, which remedies this to some degree.

Anyway, I’ve read that it’s becoming increasingly normal in US hospital to pressure mothers into undergoing c-sections if they are not able to give vaginal birth on whatever schedule the clinic had in mind (I think within a day), simply due to cost efficiency. Imo this is a dystopian development that treats women like livestock. Of course vaginal birth is associated with its own risks, but in my conservative opinion c-sections should be performed only when medically necessary. That doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to hate on women who chose to have them for x y z reason, I just think it’s an unfortunate development.

No. 362997

Can I take a pregnancy test being 8 days late? I've never had to take one before and I'm terrified nonnies.

No. 363006

I think people definitely underestimate the recovery/process of a c section compared to vaginal
Ime just from people I know who did vaginal vs c section, the recovery and complications are wayyyyy harder with a c section. It's basically a football sized wound in your abdomin going through the muscle wall and into the womb. It's no walk in the park

No. 363028

File: 1701799669195.jpg (361.73 KB, 1079x1368, Screenshot_20230929_142802.jpg)

have any of you achieved pregnancy with late ovulation? i am on day 17 of my cycle, have yet to ovulate, and am afraid of a short luteal phase and being unable to conceive. if i am not successful this cycle, i'll have to wait until next year because i have summers off of work and can't afford to take leave any other time of the year. i am sure that stress isn't helping.

No. 363094

currently pregnant late ovulation. Had my period on 10/18 and am 3-4 weeks pregnant with twins. Good luck anon

No. 363100

I think C sections can have more complications, better for multiples, etc
when you become a mother, regardless of what you do, people will hate you for it because, as mentioned in the thread, the world somehow hates mothers while expecting them to do anything and everything. I can see why some women get c section because some insurances will only give mothers more postpartum care if they had a c section. This means more days in the hospital, PROPER pain relief, night nurses being paid for, etc. where as if you get a vaginal birth you're typically just shunned aside

No. 363111

I got pregnant with my first on CD 35 tested positive on CD 45. It shouldn't be an issue, just takes longer if your cycles are longer.

No. 363119

Yes First Response works that early, but a negative could turn positive in a few days. I got my positive 8 dpo.

No. 363288

Thanks nonnie. It was negative but still no sign of my period. I'm wondering if I should wait another week or two and doing the dip method instead if my period still doesn't show up. It's out of the norm for me to have one this late.

No. 363302

As the other anons said, don't take any biotin for a few days before testing again. If your test is still negative you're not pregnant

No. 363304

Giving birth in US hospitals is a nightmare. They give you fucking fentanyl during labor and pitcoin as standard before even asked but can't even give you proper numbing or pain relief after having the most sensitive part of your body ripped open. What's even the point of giving you the most overdosed drug while having a baby but draw the line at moms getting pain relief? Especially since majority of moms have to do everything all by themselves since getting help nowadays isn't common (and ofc insurances won't pay for night nurses either). You're basically just tossed aside after birth even though it's one of the most dangerous things to do to new moms. Don't even get me started on PPD questions that are literally just like "circle yes or no if you're depressed" but even if you are you'll just be thrown on anti depressants to make you fatter and numb and never get any help. No wonder so many moms burn out and resort to Coco melon to get some sort of relief

No. 363452

pregnant anons - what are your goals before new baby arrives? I want to lose weight from my previous, get a new car and larger house

No. 363455

I hate flying with a baby because even if my baby is completely asleep, everyone looks at me like I’m the devil. Nobody said anything but everytime my baby groaned in her sleep, the lady next to me gave the the dirtiest glare I’ve ever seen in my life. She didn’t even cry, or fuss. She just mumbled a bit in her sleep

No. 363463

what country you live in? here everyone is happy to see babies. Once me and my husband were eating dinner and my baby was being particularly fussy and a couple saw and paid our bill and told us we were doing a good job

No. 363473

It's more about the hospital than the country I think. I had a pretty good labor, they gave me fentynl during but I asked for that. Actually worked great but just didn't last long enough, only lasts about 45 minutes. After that I went got walking epidural which took care of things until I gave birth. After they kept me for two days and had nurses come in to check on things and show me how to care for baby, lactation consultant, free room service with a pretty good menu, in hospital baby photographer. I was lucky enough to go to a super nice one though, I think it's like top ten in the country. My friend went to a rural hospital and had a way different experience partly due to doctors rushing her when she wasn't even taking that long

No. 363477

I am from the US but I was flying from the US to Germany. Baby did great, I made sure to nurse during takeoff so she could adjust, she was very good. But mostly Americans gave me very dirty looks because I dared to bring a sleeping infant on a plane

No. 363502

you kinda proved the point anon
> Fentanyl being offered as the only pain relief
>kept you for 2 days and that's it
that shouldn't be standard and keeping you for only 2 days (3-4 days is peak for baby irritability and postpartum pain, and risk of postpartum complications)
mix that with the fact it's rare for friends and family to help out with the newborn and ofc insurance refuses to cover postpartum doulas or night nurses

No. 363521

im so afraid of this. fuck that bitch

No. 363589

Fentynl wasn't the only pain med I was offered, that's just the one I chose to use

No. 363722

Has anyone experienced prodromal labour? I had no idea this could happen and its absolute hell. 40+1 today but I started having contractions every night for 4 nights which build in intensity and timing but fizzle out. They seemed to be productive because initially lost bits of my mucous plug, then had bloody show the next day, more bloody show etc. It was annoying at first and caused a few false alarms for my midwife. But they're at a point where they are so painful I can't get any sleep at night (they decrease during the day to one or two an hours). At first it was mildly achy period like cramps, but it full on feels like a Charly horse in my lower abdomen trying to split my pelvis and back in two now. After 4 days of this my pelvis muscles are so tense and sore. I have no idea what to do because my cervix is just chilling posterior and not dilated at all. My midwife says at least when cases like this turn to proper labour the labour is usually extremely quick because of all the practice contractions, but how am I going to be rested enough to do labour, and with such overworked tense muscles? The only good thing is that I've become used to the labour sensations and can sleep through some of them now. I'm worried there's something structurally wrong with my pelvis or baby is in a bad position and that's why this is happening.

No. 363794

I’m 2 months pp and ebf and my period started up again today. I’m so irritated. It took 6 months after my first, and I was partially formula feeding, ugh. I hate having a period, but I hate hormonal bc more.

No. 364108

I don't disagree, but what is the science behind this? are you more likely to pass bad eggs during periods? is it because you have more self-control in your 30s and women who are in their 30s are more likely to keep a healthy diet vs drinking and drugs of the 20s? less stress since you're likely in a more consistent lifestyle?

No. 364360

I found out I'm having a girl and I'm so excited. I wanted to keep the gender a secret from my family to avoid overly gendered gifts but my sister told me I was being stupid.

The thing is, when she had her son my step dad threw a fit when he was gifted a toy playhouse. He was also given toy guns at a very young age which I think is inappropriate. She recently had a girl and while a lot of her baby gifts were cream there was also a substantial amount of dresses etc. My mom is also certain I'm having a boy, which is obv incorrect and I'm partly worried they are going to assholes when they learn it's a girl. There have been plenty of studies that show that drowning your kid in traditional gender roles at a young age may be what drives women to care taking jobs and men to stem (on top of everything else). I want my daughter to feel empowered to make her own choices as much as I can.

My question is: am I being ridiculous in hiding the gender from my family? Should I tell them and explain I want more gender neutral baby items?

My question is

No. 364381

Just pretend you dont know the sex because you want it to be surprise for when you give birth

No. 364408


I thought about this, and it would be a great idea if I wasn't an idiot and already told people I know the gender but am keeping it a secret.

No. 364453

I have such intense baby fever right now, I wish I could have my own baby so bad, I want to hold my infant baby in my arms and care for that child and give her everything in the world, but I’m a lesbian and IVF is expensive…

No. 364501

The sister is being so rude, I definitely think you’re doing the right thing. You get better quality gifts that way too! The final reveal will be so dramatic and amazing. What a wonderful surprise for everyone, I wish your daughter the best in life.

No. 364508

Breastfeeding nonnies, how do you stop yourselves from lactating all over everything at night? I don't want to sleep with a bra on..

No. 364545

Thank you that makes me feel much better about it! You're right my sister is a jerk.

No. 364547

Not trying to be sassy, but if 1.5k is too expensive, you can't afford kids.
Some women have posted about laying a towel down and sleeping topless. I always wore a shirt I didn't care for. If you produce a lot, it might be an issue. Invest in a waterproof mattress cover.

No. 364556

Nta but a family member of mine who did IVF with a donor spent ~$25k USD. It might just be cheaper in non-US countries though.

No. 364573

This doesn't apply to my Nigel thankfully but what's with other moids insisting SAHMs "sit on their ass all day"? They wouldn't tell someone who works at a daycare, a NICU nurse, who is a maid and private chef and homework tutor that they "sit on their ass all day" so why tell someone who does all those jobs around the clock wih no breaks no days off that theyre lazy? Are Americans so brain rotted by propaganda that they only believe someone can be useful if they're making money that way?

No. 364583

Find an attractive man in a different state, get him to jizz in a cup and get a turkey baster

No. 364747

They vastly underestimate the amount of labor that goes into childrearing. They literally think it's like having a pet where you just throw some food out and the kid takes care of themselves.

No. 364880

I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable. I offered my boyfriend to move in with me when the baby comes. Only thing is I don’t want his cats, don’t get me wrong I adore his kitties. I have my own cat, but mine is trained and very clean. The apartment is really small, and I know my cat and his will fight. He has two I have one. My place only allows ESA too, and his cats are not. The part the bothers me is his are annoying, they whine and whine, one smells bad bc he is retarded and doesn’t groom well (vet checked and nothing is wrong). They don’t have boundaries and scratch, climb on stuff, and just arnt trained shelter cats. What I can’t handle is one tracks shit and cat litter everywhere, it’s not the cats fault his paws are huge and it gets stuck, but there is shit all over the pillows, bed, sofa, floor. It’s not clean, I don’t want these dirty cats around my baby. I don’t want him to get rid of the cats, but I wish they could stay somewhere until we could afford a bigger place that is not an apartment, then we take the cats back. I don’t want him to move in if his dirty kitties are coming too, is that wrong? I’d rather be by myself.

No. 364889

Absolutely. It's so weird since even easier jobs like housekeepers for rich people or nannys who do nothing but work for a specific person always get praised for hard work but people are so happy to remove the idea that moms work hard for their kids. Moids think anti family propaganda is stuff like career women when in reality anti family propaganda is Americans hating babies and screaming at mothers for existing

No. 364890

It is absolutely hard to keep animals with a newborn. Would there be anyone to help out with the animals until you get everything in order?

No. 364962

I don't have a solution to your problem unfortunately, but cats and particularly their faeces pose a safety hazard due to toxoplasma gondii, which is very prevalent among cats. Your worries are entirely reasonable. Chubbyemu has a fascinating video on a worst case scenario with a toddler.

No. 364988

3 cats is wayyy too many with a newborn. You're not unreasonable I think most people who have experience with cats would realize that's just going to end up being a mess. Maybe some family can watch them for a while until he's more established in the home and the kid is older?

No. 364992

I wish baby blues would pass… im a little over a week post partum and it's not as bad as my pms but it's annoying. I'm sleeping fine now that me and my husband do shifts, so that's resolved, but im still just feeling a constant low-grade sad feeling. Idk how long this is supposed to last but I hope it passes soon

No. 365000

If it's his child that you're carrying, you can make him give the cats to someone he knows. Every parent would put their child's health before their pets especially if the child is a newborn with a weak immune systems

No. 365001

if it persists please talk to a psychiatrist, anon. You deserve the attention of a professional when you're going through post partum times. For women post partum is the MOST stressful time of their lifes and we deserve every time of support we desire because of that. I hope it gets well soon but if it persists don't think of it as some unimportant matter and do talk to a professional about possible ways to improve your situation. Best wishes for your baby.

No. 365080

I wear a bra. Lately I’ve been getting clogs so I’ve been using a form fitting tank with nursing pads.

No. 365160

I just wear a super loose sports bra, it's like a size too big so it just feels like loose cloth.
Otherwise I just it flow, gets on the bed but we've got cheap sheets down rn so I can feed baby on bed and not worry. They'll get throw out once he's not feeding

No. 365307

Kek this reminds me of a tradthot post of a cartoon of what a housewife does while her husbands at work. It depicted her cleaning the entire house, including deep cleaning then making 3 course meals and only one slide showed her "checking on the baby" which was a quick glance of watching the baby sleep and not even changing the diaper or feeding it. Nobody with a newborn has that much free time what the fuck

No. 365871

My baby wakes up and cries hungry every 20 min or so then takes a couple sips from the bottle or boob and falls back asleep. How do o train him to eat more normal

No. 365892

>a three course meal
KEK. I can't even make breakfast for myself without the baby fussing. Half the time I just kind of shove nuts in my mouth (if I am lucky and he doesn't demand to be rocked so I get to use one of my arms)

No. 366093

This is just kind of a vent. I'm officially 22 weeks pregnant today and holy fuck the past week has been rough. My pelvic area is sooo fucking sore, my sides are aching terribly and I'm fucking exhausted all the time. Yesterday I had this weird feeling of being lightheaded and my arms felt light, but it went away pretty quickly and I felt better after eating and resting. My BP has been kind of all over the place but within normal range. One week was 135/70 and the next was 94/66. That one I felt like I was going to fall asleep any minute. Docs are seemingly unconcerned, however, so I guess this is just my state of being for the moment kek. At least my girl is doing well and there's no sign of congenital heart block. I carry the SSA antibody so we've been monitored pretty closely. Right now I'm so tired… but I have so much shit to do before Christmas I need to kick it into gear. I really miss caffeine in excess.

No. 366094

I would definitely talk to your pediatrician or lactation consultant to be sure, but my idea would be using a pacifier. It sounds more like your baby is looking to be soothed by nursing versus an actual feed. Hold him, put in the pacifier and let him suckle for a bit. Maybe 15-20 minutes at a time. If he fusses afterwards give him a boob for a bit. Extend the times to where you're eventually on a every three hours feeding schedule. I fed my first on a strict three hour schedule unless she was sleeping or obviously hungry. If she was sleeping, I didn't wake her. I would check her of course to be sure she was alright. She never went two hours beyond feeding time until she was around six months old, but by then we had introduced some solids. If your baby is 3-4 weeks old he's ready for a pacifier. I'm not an expert though I'm a mom who has had a kid and pregnant with number two. Always consult your pediatrician first.

No. 366238

I had my first kid young, I was worried about it, but I decided to cause my parents had me when they were too old, so I had to see my mom develop early onset dementia when I was barely a teen, and I didn't want my kids to experience that.
She was healthy, and the cutest baby, but I had a lot of complications, and almost died out of bloodloss at birth. It took us almost a year, with a lot of focusing on fertility windows to conceive, we even thought about checking out IVF, but everything seemed normal health wise. I thought it was supposed to be easier since I was young.
Second kid I developed awful hiperemesis, worse than the first time. Second month in and I was at the hospital, and we decided it was better to terminate. I was worried that seeing me sick and being unable to take care of her was going to affect my first kid. We thought that maybe if we waited until she was older it could be better. We were thinking about trying again, but last night I had a nightmare were I had a stillbirth, and remembered that if there's a lot of time between pregnancies, the possibilities of having complications are more. I'm gonna tell my husband that I'm too scared of almost dying again to try for another kid. It sucks cause I love children, I love my kid. It breaks my heart that I won't be able to give her a sibling.

No. 366240

Nonna I'm so sorry to hear this, sounds awful for you. But please don't risk your health to give your little girl a sibling. Have a think and a talk with your husband about it but have you considered adoption?

No. 366280

How do you deal with people not respecting the rules you have for your infant? Any time the grandparents are around they want to pump her full of whipped cream and chocolate because they think it's cute and funny. I don't have anyone else reliable and can't afford daycare. Every time I bring it up they try to gaslight me into thinking I'm too overprotective.

No. 366740

Late reply, but I was recently having this problem with my second. She would fall asleep while feeding and never get enough, sending her into an annoyingly fast/constant waking-eating-sleeping cycle. Turns out her latch wasn’t deep enough, and the difficultly in getting milk out was causing her to fall asleep from the effort. At a nurse’s advice, I started expressing a bit of milk before feeding to make sure the flow was consistent, and adjusting her latch. The problem was fixed immediately. Might be worth a try!

No. 366933

File: 1703152607133.jpg (568.35 KB, 3024x1493, 20231221_065108.jpg)

It's my turn!
I went and got bloodwork done today so I'll find out in a week or so if it's actually positive. It would be such a huge relief to me if I can get pregnant that easy, I've always wanted to be a mother and my luck is awful so I had it in my head that it will be hard. Fingers crossed!

I have some cramping though, I'm meant to be 4 days in on my period so I've just assumed it's issues around that?

No. 367055

The turn around for my tests was fast, I'm 3 weeks pregnant!!
I'm still having cramping though? Hope all is well, this baby is very wanted.

No. 367065

Congrats nonna!! At this point cramping is very normal. You'll likely cramp on and off throughout your pregnancy. If you have painful cramping, pressure in your pelvis/vagina and/or bleeding, call your doc immediately. Spotting is perfectly normal, but a flow of bright red blood or blood with clots is not. In the meantime, take it easy, no unnecessary extertion and relax.

No. 367145

I also just found out I am pregnant again with my second! Second cycle after I stopped breastfeeding and my period returned. I am very excited!

No. 367257

File: 1703245107245.png (20.28 KB, 657x419, preg.png)

I'm now doubting my results. What do you nonas think?
The top line reads like I'm 70IU/L right? What does the <2 mean?
Have to wait at least a week to talk to a dr irl about it

No. 367265

Happy for you nonna!
I peed on 2 different tests and both positive within 30 seconds. Happy days!

No. 367777

Have any of you had twins? My husband is scaring me saying I'm having twins cause I am feeling soooooo pregnant already at not quite 5 weeks, it feels different than my first pregnancy or maybe I am just not remembering it right. I have so much cramping, bloating, food sensitivity and am absolutely exhausted so early on. Also feels like my belly is so big already, even tho it could just be bloat. My first appointment isn't until 12 weeks.

No. 367799

Are you not getting a dating scan (6-7weeks)?
I'm 4 weeks and also feel a bit miserable, I've felt nauseous all day and had cramping too.

No. 367801

No, they didn't offer to do that, I think maybe because I am uninsured? They said they won't see me before 12 weeks because "You can't do any tests before that". I had my last baby in Europe, now I am in the US so I just assumed it's different here.

No. 367843

Guess we're all pregnant again here ? Kek

No. 367983

Me again, I'm 4 weeks pregnant and had this awful cramping, like a mix between period cramping and food poisoning that woke me up.
I went to sit on the loo hoping that would solve the problem but the cramping had nothing to do with it.
It's gone now and everyone I speak to says cramping is normal this early on but wtf??
Everything is closed because of Christmas tomorrow, I have a Dr appointment Thursday.
When do people know when to go to the hospital over pain like that?
Surely it's not normal??
It lasted maybe 10 mins max. No bleeding. I hope baby is ok

No. 367985

Usually you go to the hospital if the pain doesn't pass or if there is bleeding. Do you have a medical emergency hotline you can call and ask? Sometimes you get an intuition that "something is wrong" and you should go in.

No. 367986

Samefag to ask if it could have just been really bad gas? That is very common early on and can hurt a lot more than you'd think! If it passed after 10 minutes it could be the gas bubble moved along.

No. 367992

The cramping was 10 hours ago, it passed and I've not had bleeding since
I did have brussle sprouts but I've had cramping on and off all week, but maybe like 10% pain compared to my bad cramping. I sure hope its just gas, tmi but I tried to go #2 during (thinking that might be the reason) and there wasnt much.
I guess I'm on edge because its my first pregnancy and the baby is very wanted.

No. 367994

I've not bad bleeding at all*

No. 368009

It sounds like everything is fine, best you can do is not stress out and call your doctor if you are having a lot of pain again! Enjoy your Christmas!

No. 368011

Thanks nona, I think I just needed someone to tell me its ok (even if it turns out I am miscarrying) so hopefully I'll destress now

No. 369017

I've had bad cramping every day for like 10 mins or so.
I seriously can't tell if it's just gas.
I farted today during it and it went away faster.
The amount of cramping surely can't just be gas right? It's like the worst period cramping I get. How can gas hurt all the way across my abdomen?

No. 369093

>boobs grew several cup sizes during pregnancy, they are bigger than the baby's head

>have to carefully squeeze y nipples out of the way of his nose to avoid suffocating him

>the only tops that fit me now are either so baggy they look like garbage bags or stretchy skintight stuff that makes me look like a porn star

I feel like I can't share my pictures of baby's first Christmas because my boobs ruin them and some scrotes is going to jerk off to them. Ugh

No. 369100

Nah that's not normal, at least not for those who are insured. I would contact your local social services offices and inquire about state insurance. Just in case nonita.
Gas while pregnant can absolutely be felt all over your abdomen, and hurt like hell. I woke up last night with it and had to aggressively release it in the bathroom for like twenty minutes lmao. Pregnancy yoga and stretching helps quite a bit.

No. 369142

I was the same way. huge fucking retarded massive balls stuck to my chest. It settles down after a while don't worry

No. 369151

We want to get insurance, but we are planning to move to a different state very soon so there's really no point in getting it here because we want to first see what kind of insurance would be best for the hospital that will be close to us when we settle down permanently. We can afford to pay it ourselves until then but I guess when I said I was self-pay she assumed that I am poor maybe?

No. 369198

Nonas, how do you decide on what to buy for your babies?
I'm worried about bad plastics in toys or chewy things but I'm dubious that the more expensive name brand alternatives are made in the same place as cheapshit shein baby stuff?

No. 369360

My tits STINK. Nobody warned me about the smell of underboob sweat and stale milk, wtf.

No. 369388

Silicone and wood is the way to go but also observe how they react to stuff. My daughter personally prefers pretend play with plush animals and baby dolls so I usually use that

No. 369861

That's very odd, I would definitely try to find a new obgyn. Scans around 6 weeks is a must to make sure there's no blighted ovum, they have a heart beat, and if it's twins. Any place that refuses to do that for you won't offer you the care you need

No. 369890

My boob sweat smells of nothing. You might have a fungal infection or something.

No. 370280

My first ante natal appointment is in 2 days.
Any advice on what to expect going in?
I switched from a male dr I saw last week since he seemed very rude and I dont want to deal with that when I'm further along.

No. 370375

currently 6 weeks and can't stomach anything. i was eating very healthy for the first weeks, spinach, avocado, eggs, broccoli, chicken, smoothies, etc, but now the thought of anything i had been eating before makes me want to puke. all i have been able to get down are plain things like cheerios, crackers, and broth. feeling miserable every day, and worried this subpar diet will have an impact on baby's growth. have been diligent with the prenatals, but is it really enough?

No. 370412

Women smoke crack and eat mcdonalds every meal and their babies turn out not completely fucked, stress less nona you're already doing heaps

No. 370453

You're definitely fine. Just take a prenatal but your body will literally suck the nutrients out of your bones if it's what the baby needs, lack of nutrition is going to hurt you more than the baby. I spent my whole third trimester stressed about the amount of coffee I drank (a lot) and how it was correlated with low birth weight, then gave birth to a 9 pounder. Just listen to your body you'll probably start getting cravings for things that have the nutrients you need in them

No. 370500

I really want a girl. Have any of you nonas used holistic methods that ended up successfully giving you a female fetus?

No. 370509

It comes down to luck in the end. But I also ONLY wanted a girl and I read that X bearing sperms swim on average slower but survive longer in the vaginal canal while Y bearing sperms have shorter lifespan but they swim faster, usualy if the ovulation has already occured the egg will be fertilized with a Y carrying sperm. So I planned to have sex a few days before ovulation and abstained from it in the 48 hours around ovulation, and it worked, I'm six month pregnant with a baby girl rn.

No. 370520

hi i know this probably isn’t the right thread and i’m sorry for asking to be spoonfed but is there any thread discussing abortion or unplanned pregnancy. i just tested positive and im absolutely terrified

No. 370596

thank you for the reassurance. i didn't expect the first trimester symptoms to be this bad ):(emoticon)

No. 370774

There's the advice thread, you could ask there. Sending you hugs nonna, we're here for you.

No. 370935

I'm the same way currently 8 weeks. I get IVs with zofran and it helps a ton when I'm cycling through pills for hyperemesis that don't seem to work

No. 371053

File: 1704405412988.jpg (123.53 KB, 800x800, aow-st21000-2.jpg)

Are there any cute animal kigurumis for babies that aren't made out of spider pubes and arsenic in a Chinese sweatshop with nets outside the windows so the slaves can't kill themselves? My baby loves cozy outfits like this but shady Chinese companies seem to be the only ones selling them..

No. 371083

File: 1704419938104.jpg (211.01 KB, 1170x2532, 1gjsosqlvkb91.jpg)

I gave birth a few months ago and I am shocked by how "human" little babies can be. After reading rationalist arguments about how there is nothing morally wrong with eating babies I expected newborns to be mindless balls of reflexes but no, even fresh out of the womb they are more like adults with fevers so nasty they just want to sleep and eat soup than the weird pseudo-human automatons I imagined.

My two month old is currently obsessed with lights. She loves ceiling lights and laser pointers the way bigger kids love transformers. One months ago her obsession was music and being held by someone who is dancing. Before that she slept most of the time but she had a clear preference for velvet swaddles and certain types of bottles.

No. 371085

no child, just scrolling through, but check etsy, will be pricey but i've seen some super cute kids clothing and costumes there.

No. 371101

>I expected newborns to be mindless balls of reflexes
a reasonable mistake anyone inexperienced with babies could make
>After reading rationalist arguments about how there is nothing morally wrong with eating babies,
and now it's a sentence you could only find on an imageboard. I love you.

No. 371182

Kek nonna, ilu. Don't listen to anything moids say, they never know what they're talking about, and the uwu rational ones are just as delusional as the openly crazy ones.
You baby sounds so sweet, she's only 2 months old and already so much smarter than the moid in your picrel.

No. 371192

My baby likes to pretend play with her dolls, other than feeding literally any plushie or doll any chance she gets she likes to put them to "sleep" and cover them in a blanket and pat them. We went to a restaurant and she was using the cloth napkin as a blanket to put her stuffed animal to sleep it was so cute

No. 371252

Anecdotally, every couple I know has only girls except for two unplanned pregnancies, both boys. If having a boy is totally unacceptable to you, don’t just run and get pregnant, though.

No. 371253

I'm glad that you seem to have decided to not eat your baby nona

No. 371291

Of course the scrote to write that looks how he looks.

No. 371292

I'm 7 weeks and everytime I roll over in bed I have to be careful because I get this stretching pain on one side of my lower abdomen. Have any of you experienced it?

No. 371294

I got pregnant with a girl when I was in college and living in a dorm, then when I planned a pregnancy living with my husband it was a boy. I don't know what factors would cause such

No. 371296

Try lowering your partner's testosterone. Stress, foreign estrogens, sedentary lifestyle, unhealthy diet, alcohol consumption, etc.

No. 371297

Samefag who can't delete because cleared cookies, do the same for yourself. Obviously be careful about the alcohol consumption.

No. 371351

It's round ligament pain and it's totally normal!

No. 371356

Thank you so much nona. Its my first time being pregnant so I had no idea all the little bits that go into it.
I'm going for my dating scan in 4 days, I'm hoping all is well with my little one

No. 371362

Mommas, did you get the genetic carrier screening for you and your partner?
I'm planning on getting it, it tests for 500+ autosomal recessive conditions and we figured since we're going to have more than one baby its worth the cost to do it now.
We're also getting the NIPT testing done.

I'm a bit nervous because the likelihood of neither of us having the same marker in 500+ tests is so slim.
Then we would test the baby and it carries the miscarry risk (even though its like 2%).

No. 371596

I got it and definitely recommend if you don't know your family history well. For me, the doctors didn't really tell us anything because the results didn't have anything of concern. Hoping it goes just as easy for you.

No. 371603

How do people cope with having your identity erased by being pregnant; I'm starting to feel like everyone is just focusing on my pregnancy, it feels like if I hear one more person comment about it I'm just going to cry and refuse to leave the house.

No. 371921

Does anyone have any tips on surefire ways to conceive a girl? If I have to carry a male I'm genuinely going to try to induce a miscarriage.

No. 371976

That's not how it works. Does the person you're getting pregnant with know you will get rid of your son?

No. 371987

IVF, also this was asked only a few days ago

No. 371999

To me, I just think "all the women I look up to have been pregnant before and have been in this place"

No. 372034

It’s one of those nights, nonnas. My daughter is 3, and she has a weird sleep schedule. Ever since she started sleeping on her own, she wakes up every morning around 1-4 AM, it’s usually just to go to the bathroom, get water, or a small snack. She usually wakes me up too, because she’s scared of the dark and being alone, but it’s not a big deal, I usually need to pee around this time anyways. She is generally back in bed within 10 minutes.
Her bedtime is usually 9:30 pm, but last night, she went to sleep at 8 because we had a very active day, and she was sleepy early. I didn’t think an hour and a half difference would make her so energetic. She woke up at midnight, she got her snack, and I read to her. I usually stay for the 10 minutes it takes for her to fall back asleep, but she just couldn’t. I could tell she was trying, she kept her eyes closed, but couldn’t stop tossing and turning.
Eventually, she just got frustrated because she can’t sleep, so right now, she’s just playing with her dolls in a dim light, and I’m playing soothing music to hopefully tire her out. She hasn’t had a night where she’s so energetic so early since she was maybe 15 months old. I wish I had a way to help her sleep through the entire night, but I’m the same way, and I’ve been like that since I was a little girl. I can’t even make myself sleep through the entire night.

No. 372374

my best advice is to switch sleep-related things until it works
first take any screens out of the room, or objects that can distract with sleeping
then use black out WINDOW COVERS (not curtains)
then try different white noise machines, air purifiers and a humidifier with essential oils, find a good routine like sleep baths (melatonin bath salts and bubbles)
before bed make sure shes full and try sleep teas and filling food (but low carb low sugar)
if neither of those works try replacing the bed, pillows, sheets, etc with something more comfortable

No. 372382

I’ll try these things out, I’ve been wanting to get her black out curtains for a while now, but never had a reason to because she was fine without. I think that night was just extra bad because she fell asleep early and woke up with too much energy, she ended up falling asleep around 5 AM. We played in low light for a while, and when she started looking sleepy, I brought her to my bed. She doesn’t sleep in my bed unless she has nightmares, but I was also too tired to take her to her own bed. We cuddled, and slept until noon. Luckily, I have this entire week off, so it’s no skin off my back if I sleep in. She woke up today at her usual time.
Her bedtime routine is pretty similar to what you described. She usually has a snack an hour before she sleeps (no bigger than a bowl of cereal), then a bath half an hour before she sleeps. I find that she really likes night baths, and the warm water makes her relax. I’m still not sure why she wakes up every night in the middle of the night, but it’s usually to pee or get water. She goes back to sleep within 10 minutes of this, so it doesn’t really effect her sleep all that much, she still gets 11-12 hours of sleep. She slept well last night, and she’s in bed right now, so I think it was probably just a random rough night. I’ve thought about melatonin gummies for her to sleep all night, but she’s only 3, and I don’t want to mess up her brain chemistry while it’s still developing. Plus I had nightmares and sleep paralysis when I took melatonin, so there’s a chance she may have that too

No. 372383

That may possibly be the case. Kids around that age also develop fears and such around that time so it could be nightmares. Does she go back to sleep easy after she wakes up?

No. 372388

If it’s not a nightmare, it doesn’t take more than 10 minutes for her to fall back asleep, it usually is about 5 minutes. This is the case most of the time, when she wakes up from 1-4 AM. But if it is a nightmare, she can’t sleep unless she’s in my bed and being snuggled until she falls asleep again. This usually takes 30-45 minutes, from her waking up scared to her being asleep again. She’s just smart enough to tell me when she’s scared, so I usually know when it’s a bad dream

No. 372394

this doesn't seem unusual as even adults wake up to pee or drink water then go back to sleep shortly after. maybe keep water by her bed? some children can also have schedules thrown off from season changes too

No. 372397

I'm always feeling like I'm failing at being a mom while simultaneously feeling that expectations are ridiculously high for parenting nowadays. My boy is 1 month old and my lactation consultant who also does his weighs and wellness checks lectures me everytime for not doing daily oral exercises, whole body massages, face massages, skin to skin, holding him 24/7, following an OT book on daily developmental exercises, tummy time and also doing his stretches for his torticollis while also somehow finding time to look after myself. Don't get me wrong, I do all the exercises for his torticollis, he gets his tummy time, I exclusively breastfeed, play with him, sing to him and make eye contact, but how the fuck am I supposed to keep up with all of this extra shit in one day? He's developmentally fine, is gaining weight well, he's very alert and interactive for his age so why am I shamed about not doing every new Instagram exercise/activity? How did babies develop before all of this? I know it's not rational to feel guilty about it but I still do

No. 372398

you should find a new LC and check reviews please
sage for tinfoil but an anon mentioned foster agencies pay people to promote unrealistic parenting standards so people are more likely to give up their children when they don't feel like good enough parents

No. 372489

>be me, single mom, 8 months pregnant
>I sleep on my back sometimes for short periods, side sleeping through the night
>I wake up from my nap, completely unable to move my lower body
>no matter how hard I try to do anything, even curl my toes, I can’t move
>panic because I live alone, call 911
>I tell them I’m pregnant when they ask
>”Try rolling to your side”
>I do, and about 5 minutes later, I slowly regain control of my legs
>ask wtf happened
>”Sometimes your baby will put its weight on your spinal chord, and stop the nerve signals from being able to reach your legs”
I just learned this today, why did nobody tell me about this!!!

No. 372493

That's terrifying. I'm glad you're okay, but I'd never heard of that either. My doctor mentioned not sleeping on my back because it would hurt the baby, but she didn't elaborate why.

No. 372502

You will most likely just end up disabling your child.

No. 372505

Does anyone have any advice for bringing up wanting to have a baby with your partner; my partner does want kids, but we have a slight timeline difference. He wants more time to travel/ be adults (even though we're still just doing the same things we always do, no extra travel etc) Maybe I just have a little extra broody-ness right now after visiting family for the holidays

No. 372516

I heard you're not supposed to do that because it sends less blood to the fetus. That's why you're supposed to lay on your side while doing kick counts.. when the baby gets more blood, it moves more.

No. 372523

Ask him where is he taking you then? Whats the time difference?

No. 372525

Me again, went to my first dating scan thinking I was 8 weeks, I'm actually 6 weeks 3 days. There is a heartbeat so I'm happy after all my cramping that the little one is in there fine

No. 372536

Just do it, just say "when are you thinking about having kids together". If you are going to have a kid together, you got to be able to have a conversation about having kids. If he gets cold feet from just talking about it/it damaged the relationship, then it wasnt stable enough for kids in the first place.

No. 372540

I usually sleep on my side, but I dozed off while listening to meditation stuff. I’m at the stage where I’m tired all the time, and being on my back relaxed got me snoozin

No. 372553

Yeah, don't feel bad about it. I don't think any woman manages to never ever sleep on her back. If it's a once in a while thing it's unlikely it would hurt your baby I think.

No. 372708

>chilling out with baby on my lap
>piss my pants because my bladder is weaker since I gave birth

Is it weird that I find it kind of cute that I match my baby now? I joked with her that now mommy needs a diaper change too.

No. 372770

Never happened to me but I pooped my pants while running 2 weeks after giving birth. Just keep doing kegal exercises and you'll be better than before, I actually feel like I have better bladder control now because I use to pee myself before I got pregnant

No. 372774

I’ve posted before about my twins and my wife, mentioned we are having another baby and we just found out today she is a GIRL!!!! We are feeling very blessed that our girls will have a little sister, also why do I always want seafood when pregnant knowing full well I may never touch it kek

No. 372783

How old are you?
If you're like 22/23 then yeah I'd have to say he's right. Coming from already having a kid, it's hard to fathom how much of your time it's going to eat up. You should get anything fun or big out of the way now because there's a significant loss of autonomy, at least get one big international trip in.
If you're 34/35 then you're right. I know some people who waited and ended up regretting that because there was difficulty in conceiving, which it was hard to tell if age played a factor and also there's a lot of added stress and urgency. Plus difficult to have multiple if you're planning that. Men also tend to cling to their youth more, and sometimes there's hesitant to face the reality that it's time
If its inbetween you should sit him down and get some concrete plans going, make a plan for one big trip, or a hard due date for an accomplishment, then have the kid. Otherwise this wishy washy attitude could delay things and land you in a tight spot.

No. 372821

I am still convinced I am having twins. My first appointment isn't until I am 11 weeks and I am 7 weeks now and I just HAVE to know. My husband thinks I am crazy but I feel so much worse than with my first pregnancy and already have a little round belly. I know you pop faster the second time but it seems crazy fast at 7 weeks???

No. 372822

Happy for you both!! Congrats

No. 372876

I had twins and I did start showing pretty early! Come back and let us know if your suspicions are correct, Mama hehe

No. 372972

Anyone know if there's anyway to encourage/have twins that's not just ivf?

No. 372992

My sperm donor was a twin from a family where the extended tree has loads of twins, my family also has lots of twins even though I’m not one. I think that kind of thing makes a difference, because I did normal AI not IVF and I did have twins kek

No. 373084

File: 1705107392128.jpg (42.04 KB, 400x400, s-l400.jpg)

>Limited edition diapers

Does Disney expect people to keep used diapers as souvenirs or something?

No. 373091

I've read that older and overweight women are more likely to have twins.

No. 373486

I am endlessly frustrated with my toddler throwing food. She is 15 months, almost 16 and it hasn't gotten better at all. I read online that you are supposed to not react to it at all, so I don't and just silently clean it up when she's done. I sit with her and try to catch her before she throws it but she has developed a technique where she just really quickly throws it to get around me catching it. Last week she launched a whole fist full of mashed potatoes across the entire room. I have tried putting a "no-thanks" bowl on her tray but she just throws it off, she doesn't understand food that she doesn't want goes in there. She also throws foods she likes to eat and eats every day, so it's not like she's throwing it because she doesn't want it or isn't hungry. She is doing more of a "one for me and one for the floor" thing. She also doesn't talk yet so I don't know how to communicate with her about this at all. I know some people say to end the meal as soon as she throws food, but I don't think she would understand that yet and putting her through getting into high-chair, putting on bib, cleaning her up, taking off bib, taking her out of high-chair over and over again because she threw some food on the ground would be such a pain in the ass. It's just so frustrating and feels like it will never get better.

No. 373502

Have you tried asking your pediatrician for advice? I'm a med major and pediatrists usually know more about kids and how to get to them than first time parents. Either way I hope it gets better for you soon, most children have troubles with food early on and it sounds really rough on you. She's lucky to have such a patient and understanding mother like you.

No. 373677

We have an appointment coming up, I will ask. Thank you for your compassion!

No. 373757

I agree with this. there are some benefits especially if you're planning to have less than 2 kids, in general having your first one in your twenties is ideal simply due to the age timeline. I know a lot of people who resent their parents because they weren't able to see them graduate college, get married, have kids, and be in their grandkids' life because they had them too old, etc

don't eat moid propaganda about age though they're unironically starting to think women go into menopause at 28

No. 373768

I got a call from the nurse today saying my Dr wants me to get another ultrasound of my baby in 2 weeks to make sure it's growing properly.
The nurse said it's because the Dr estimated my baby at being 2 weeks further along than the first scan showed.

The estimate is done from the first day of my last period.
The ultrasound I had was a dating scan meant to get the correct date (said I was 6 weeks not 8 weeks like the Dr said).

Do you think the Dr is just being super careful because she gave the wrong estimate, or do you think she's seen something wrong in my first ultrasound and she's worried??

No. 373898

Dating a week or two off from your period is pretty normal. Your period was likely just implantation bleeding if you're further along than you thought. If it helps you feel better I ovulated late and am 1 week behind when I got a dating scan

No. 374050

I didn't bleed on the first day of my period, the Dr said that's how they date it. So the first day of what would have been my period if that makes sense?

No. 374115

File: 1705519195333.jpg (152.2 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)

My two month old loses his mind when I show him high contrast illusions and it is the cutest thing I have ever seen. I am so glad I chose to have a child.

No. 374117

File: 1705519566652.jpeg (24.53 KB, 507x286, prevalence-chart.jpeg)

It's not just the timeline, it's also that risks of birth defects and pregnancy complications increase as the parents get older. Having kids in your early 20's is optimal from a health point of view.

No. 374126

>aving kids in your early 20's is optimal from a health point of view.
No offense but I don't think you should post such unnuanced takes because people will run with it and use it against women. The difference between early 20s up to mid-late 30ish is marginal. Even your graph looks shocking on first sight when it really isn't: 120 in 10k is a frequency rate of 0,012%.

No. 374157

File: 1705531920730.png (19.91 KB, 800x530, Spectrum-MaternalPaternalCh.pn…)

But it hurts women to be told there are no risks to waiting when it's not true. Someone who really wants children and wants the best possible odds of having healthy kids should start early if they can afford it.

No. 374162

Ntayrt but maternal mortality is lowest at age 30, so combining that with other factors (eg financial stability) 30-34 would still be the best age range, no?
Either way like the other anon said, the difference is marginal and you’d probably see bigger differences on rates of smokers vs non-smokers and obese vs non-obese, no reason why this small difference would be more important.

No. 374184

>less than 1% difference
omg , so big. You're literally making your kids retarded!!!!!11!!

No. 374185

i agree having kids too late is bad but late twenties and early 30s is the safest age for women to have children. Also if down syndrome doesn't run in your family you're basically at no risk regardless of age + they can test for that before 12 weeks so it's possible to abort if you do have down syndrome

No. 374186

>I didn't bleed on the first day of my period, the Dr said that's how they date it
what do you mean?

No. 374215

I apologize if this has already been discussed upthread, I didn’t see— but does anyone here have experience with cloth diapers? Would you recommend them?

No. 374245

Hard no lmao. They are a great thing in theory because reusable and because the money and environment—just no. You will change your tune kek. It’s better to just keep paying Big Diaper(tm) and not have to literally scrub shitty diapers on top of everything else new mamas have to do! Any other nonnas who have the opposite perspective pls weigh in, I genuinely would like to hear arguments in favor as everyone I know who has tried (myself included) became disillusioned rather quickly

No. 374255

I use them sometimes and it's not as bad as others make it seem. Poop is easy to get off with a hose and I have a mini washer for them. Way more absorbent and diaper rash is non existent. Only recommend using them after newborn stage when baby poops less

No. 374258

Assuming you would throw them in the washing machine, I could just imagine how tired I would get of having to do a bleach only cycle to disinfect after washing poopy diapers.