[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Server Status ]

/g/ - girl talk

File(20 MB max)
Password (For post deletion)

New farmhands wanted, click to apply!

File: 1674521987193.jpg (2.49 MB, 3923x5884, Baby Q&A.jpg)

No. 310088

Discuss family planning, birth, pregnancy, conception, fertility, and any other baby-related topic in this thread.
Refrain from posting if you dislike children or are childfree.
Old threads

No. 310091

i'm turning 28 soon and i've always wanted to be a young mother. i'm still in uni though, so getting pregnant would absolutely ruin my life. i wish we had a better support system. i don't want to sound like a tradwife, but the modern world makes it very difficult for the majority of people to start a family. too many rules, less chances, the need to be educated and you must be motivated to work your ass off and not expect help from anyone in the system

No. 310093

Holy fuck, I related to this..I'm trying to pay off as much of my school debt as I can and work on my career but I'd also love to be a mom. Idk. It feels like everything's stacked against us.

No. 310124

Same except I'm 30. I've been with my bf for 4 years and we absolutely can't afford a kid. I don't see how we could make it work at this point. My abusive ex didn't want kids at all, so from that relationship I already kind of resigned myself to the possibility of it never happening… But sometimes it makes me so depressed I just cry. If this doesn't happen for me I know I will mourn it in my later years.

No. 310149

I'm 30 and planning to become a mother in 3 years, it's definitely difficult. I'm trying to adjust my life to make it easier for me when the time does come around to getting pregnant. My bf and I are making it an effort to start a savings fund. I've been fucked over hardcore for not having credit and I'm currently finding myself penny pinching as someone who makes about $10 more than liveable wage. I don't have a college degree, but this was a career I started in 7 years ago and getting out of it when I have a child is going to reduce my funds. I know I can't reach out for government assistance, that's a trap and will fuck me over. I can only think of passive income, I'm figuring out what I can start doing now and build up from there.
My best friend also wants to become a mother and she wants to so badly not work at all and it upsets me because it doesn't seem realistic and it's going to disappoint her. Like, I've discussed this with my bf and he says the nuclear family structure doesn't exist. Corporations and the government make it impossible for a single source of income to uphold a family. You have to be lucky to make more than $25+ an hour by yourself. The majority of people in my country can barely make $15 and on top of that less than 1/3 of my countries population has a college degree, and don't get me started on paying off debt from people who've completed AND attempted but dropped out of higher education.
I turn into an anarchist when thinking about becoming a mother, the government doesn't want us to have children, they hate children because they're deemed nonproductive members of society. School sets children up to get used to the corporate world and it's meaningless hoops instead of learning to live independently and sustain a healthy and less stressful life. Young adults now just turn to expensive services to do simple things for them because they were never taught and it's too scary and stressful for them to learn how to do these things now or they simply don't realize it's possible to do it by yourself or they don't have the time because of the corporate world. Many parents can't be there for their children because of funds. They send them off to daycare facilities and right there majority of one of your paychecks is gone. It's such a trap. The world we live in doesn't welcome children and allow them to be raised by their parents, only strangers. This is why I'm working so hard now, because I want to see my children, I want to be there. I want my bf to be there too. I want to homeschool them and teach them they can achieve many things using the tools of their own bodies. I want to give them beautiful memories of the outdoors and having time spent with my and my bf and their friends and family. I don't want them to be sucked into this corporate world filled with debt and no time for leisure. It's misrable. Truthfully, I can't change everything around me, but I want to have my child to also hold hope and have optimism for the world around them.

No. 310206

Agree 100%, especially with the last paragraph. It is truly sickening. In about 40 years there will be a panic about our aging population (in the US at least) just like there was in Japan. It's completely preventable but they will do nothing to improve matters.
My goal is to have a kid by 35. My boyfriend wants 2 but that's a pipe dream lol. Ideally I would like to take the first year off from work. I know it will be hard but to me it's worth the peace of mind. I'm generally an anxious and untrusting person, and can imagine that I'd only be worse when it comes to strangers watching my infant.

No. 310270

I had all my kids during college and medical school, it's hard, but not impossible. You can also take advantage of childcare on campus

No. 310336

I'm six months pregnant and my esophagus constantly feels like there is a brick stuck in it. It's not reflux, so none of the reflux fixes help. Has anyone had this and found ways to make it better?

No. 310359

I took tums and it helped

No. 310372

>My best friend also wants to become a mother and she wants to so badly not work at all and it upsets me because it doesn't seem realistic and it's going to disappoint her. Like, I've discussed this with my bf and he says the nuclear family structure doesn't exist. Corporations and the government make it impossible for a single source of income to uphold a family.
That's not true at all. You just need a man who makes enough money and to not live in a shitty expensive city. Plenty of women are still stay at home moms and plenty of men can support a family on their income. Most women chose to work because they dont like the idea of being financially dependent on a man (what if you break up and have no work experience etc.) but it's not impossible.

No. 310387

Just wanted to post about my experience with pregnancy and PCOS to give fellow PCOS nonnas hope. I was diagnosed with PCOS in my early twenties and told by my doctor I would have a hard time getting pregnant and maybe not be able to get pregnant at all and that it's really important for me to eat healthy and remain at a normal weight (I used to be quite overweight which I think caused my PCOS and then lost weight). After eating healthy and staying at a normal weight all throughout my 20s I finally wanted to get pregnant at 29 and I was again told that it would be hard etc. But I got pregnant on my second cycle trying! Now I have a healthy baby and at my last check-up my doctor looked at my ovaries and said that they look healthy and normal!! They definitely didn't before. I was so shocked to hear this good news. It really really pays off if you work hard to keep the weight off and eat healthy. I still have irregular periods and some other symptoms since you can never get fully rid of it but I am so happy my body was able to heal itself and I have my healthy baby.

Don't let people convince you that PCOS means you have to be fat forever and can't have kids, I read that bullshit so many times from so many women on reddit etc who use it as an excuse. You can do it too!

No. 310402

I feel like there's a lot of misdiagnosed PCOS because I was diagnosed with it and had zero troubles conceiving, I also was skinny my entire life. My only symptom was irregular and heavy periods. Like most of women's health there's a lot of misconceptions and doctors will lazily treat it so you have you advocate for yourself

No. 310403

This so much + I can only speak for myself but most of the people I've seen who struggle with finances often bring it up on themselves. I only knew like 3 families who struggled with finances, one of them was a single mom who went on vacations frequently claiming she didn't get paid enough, another would spend every last penny on designer shit while begging for money from groceries, and the last one kept having kid after kid and had like 6+ pets while owning project cars and claiming they could barely scrape by. Of course this is all anecdotes and I don't doubt there are families truly struggling regardless of what they do, but I do want to open the question of how many families are truly struggling with finances vs how many families are just struggling with consumerism because it's not fair to families who actually need support and money but just look like trashy people who can't budget

No. 310486

my husband and I are currently in grad school and I'm pregnant. it can work. there's family housing and free daycare. women can get stuck in this loop of waiting for the "right time" until before they know it they're 38 and wishing they had children.

No. 310515

so much this. I have a 4 month old baby and honestly it's really not that much. Usually you get clothes gifted, but if you buy them second hand people give them away for so cheap as well. You could do cloth diapers and wash them in the sink instead of wet wipes to save money and as long as they're breastfed its basically no extra money spent as well. You could even skip the money for a crib and just co-sleep or put a little mattress on the floor. A sling carrier instead of a stroller. And once they start eating solids, they barely eat either. You can more than satisfy a toddler with a boiled egg and some yogurt for dinner for example. Don't fall for the lies that you need a huge amount of money!

No. 310521

It's either this or they end up having kids way too late and then can't go have fun at birthday parties, trampolines, running around, etc because they're in their 50s/60s with teenagers
>Inb4 the "just take care of yourself dumbass" anon chimes in
Unless you're an Olympian or something, the average person in their 50s and 60s isn't going to be able to keep up with high energy ass children, just because you're not literally disabled doesn't mean you'll have the time or energy to want to deal with kids and teens

No. 310522

not everyone wants to hand their kids over to strangers tho

No. 310540

I said the same thing until my baby was about 7 months old and I was tired of putting my education off. Anyone who knows anything about university knows that even "full time" you only go less than 6 hours a week, if you find a reliable childcare center you will be fine, if your baby was in the nursery or NICU you probably already "handed your child to strangers" anyway. Women's lives don't end just because they have a baby, sorry most women are still allowed to have goals and interests after they have kids

No. 310541

File: 1674890570219.jpg (128.65 KB, 1200x797, macrosomia-is-the-medical-term…)

Is it just me or do doctors seem to use "failure to thrive" loosely as fuck now? I thought it was just me, from about 0-3 months my ped always kept pressing me claiming my baby wasnt gaining enough when she reached her birth weight before 2 weeks and doubled birth weight at 4 months, she has a double chin and was super chunky and it's like ??? Are you looking at the same baby? Anyway ped would kept pressing me to feed her 2+ oz after a full feed every 2 hours, which made no sense because she was already getting what she needed from breast. Today I saw a TikTok of women showing off these massive chunky baby claiming they had failure to thrive but like wtf? These babies aren't starving to death anytime soon. Is this just a way to push formula or something?

No. 310573

The "jumbo sized" piece of shit made me mad. Ugly AND will kill you during birth. I'd drop it on its head if it were mine(bait)

No. 310577

I feel like gear isa minor/optional expense. The main expense my husband and I figured was insurance. It's an extra $300 each month if we don't get anything fancy. There's also the loss of income unless you pay for childcare instead.

No. 310579

I feel like not enough people take up with Medicaid, it's quite easy to get and from my understanding , all children get it in most states,
you can get it for your children even if you make over the minimum requirement.
>Inb4 how dare you rely on government money
Government programs are literally made to help us, only Americans would suggest something as ridiculous as paying taxes just to NOT take advantage of some of the couple of programs to help themselves

You're totally correct though, my MIL is a hoarder and kept telling me and husband to constantly buy shit as her best advice to his, "go buy swaddles, not 2 or 3 but 7 or 8, go buy 50+ outfits, etc". The best advice I ever received is to buy the basics (bassinet, diapers, changing station, etc) and THEN just buy what baby needs from there. If baby doesn't like swaddles hey at least you don't have millions sitting around, if you just end up EBF at least there's not a bunch of random bottles to clean, obviously just buy a single item that may be in needed in an emergency such as a single pack of bottles or swaddle because you don't want to be stuck at 3 AM and you're not producing enough milk to keep baby satisfied or they need a swaddle or something

No. 310580

Depends on the woman, I knew women that struggled with delivering preemies but I'm tiny (5'0) and most women in my family are and had no issue delivering 10+, 24in+ babies kek. The issues are that picking up baby postpartum is a pain, they won't fit into newborn clothes or diapers which plenty of folks bought tons of and it's going to eat a lot

No. 310594

the option is there though. i will be staying at home for the first couple of years but i love that i have the option to drop my child off at a daycare that is in my building if i have a job interview i want to attend, or anything else really. and if you're in uni or grad school, you would only drop them off for a couple of hours a day.

No. 310597

This. My baby was in the NICU for her first few months of life so "leaving baby with strangers" doesn't phase me considering the "strangers" are individuals highly trained in childcare. Obviously it's good to do research on the facilities since you can ask about vaccine requirements, how well they background check, etc. I feel like it's easy to judge daycare moms until you're put into the situation where you may need daycare

No. 310603

This. While I was pregnant I couldn't imagine being separated from my baby, and after she was born I couldn't consider it at all. I worked at a daycare/preschool when I was younger, a nice middle class one, and I was horrified with how everything is run and the way teachers and staff blatantly bully or make fun of children. My field of work also made me interact with other daycare and preschool facilities in a research capacity and it seems to all be the same except the very high end ones. I know many mothers do not have a choice though.

No. 310612

I feel the same but you have to understand it's only like this in LONG term ones, like 4-8+ hours daily. College childcare involves only a 1-2 hours at a time unless you really jam packed your schedule, plus they're cleaner and better trained I feel and simply not around your child enough to have a long term influence. Trusted family members and friends would obviously be the first option but it seems like most American family offer shit tier support systems or they'll expect almost twice the pay of a daycare worker to watch your kids even for an hour at a time.

Cheaper facilities meant for full term child care are shit though, some of them are so expensive parents are actually losing money trying to put their children through it. I was in daycare and I resent it since daycare workers often act like children themselves

No. 310625

File: 1674978165804.jpg (61.87 KB, 550x550, angry-derpina-fffuuu-internet-…)

>2 years have passed since we started trying for a baby

>still nothing

>blood tests are normal, pap smear is normal, hubby's sperm count seems normal

At this point I'm convinced my uterus is full of bees or something like that.

No. 310631

Not to sound crazy or anything but if there's no known internal issues and you just can't seem to get pregnant it's often a sign of something deeper. My first marriage when we started ttc everything seemed good but it just didn't work, turned out he was a porn addict in multiple online relationships with teenagers. Second marriage I got pregnant instantly and everything is great

No. 310642

I've had vulvodynia since late 2021 and I'm afraid I'll never be able to have kids now. I'm 28 and wanted to have them in my early 30s so there's not much time until that. But I just got diagnosed so hopefully I'll be able to find a cure and go back to normal.

No. 310669

Do you use lube? Some lubricants can slow down the sperm so much that it can't reach the egg. They make special fertility lube that is easier for them to pass through. I also used evening primrose oil, it makes your cervical mucus more plentiful and thinner to create a perfect environment for sperm to pass through.

No. 311019

I don’t think my first trimester symptoms are any worse the second time around, but I have seriously lost all patience for it. Not sure if I’ll end up making it to baby #3 after this. It’s been less than a week of the all-day morning sickness, and I’m ready to start tearing my hair out. I cannot believe it’s going to be another 8 weeks of this shit. I’m so mad.

No. 311022

? What does “look who’s talking now” mean…

No. 311024

I've been trying to figure out too anon. I guess the baby?

No. 311025

File: 1675253865121.jpg (23.51 KB, 258x386, Lookwhotalkinnow.jpg)

No. 311302

I am over 4 months postpartum and I am having period-like bleeding every other week. I literally get a 1 week break until I have another "period" for like 5 days. I have already had two ultrasounds and one HCG test and there is nothing going on in my uterus, no left-over placenta or anything. I am exclusively breastfeeding. I can't find anything online about people experiencing this at all. My doctor just wants to put me on the pill but I don't want that while I am breastfeeding.

What the fuck? I hate my life so much right now.

No. 311353

I'm 3 months postpartum and literally losing all of my hair. It's coming out in handfuls constantly unless I keep my hair in a loose ponytail. This has been going on for about a week and my hair already feels much lighter when I hold it. I'm seeing a lot of patchyness on my scalp and it looks like my hair is receding. Im EBF. Is this normal and how long should I expect this to continue? Do I need to go to a doctor?

No. 311386

That's normal sadly and your hair will eventually return to normal.

No. 311388

For me, the hair loss started 6mo postpartum and lasted for about 6 weeks. Lost about a cm around my entire hairline, my “sideburns”, and about 70% of the volume in triangular sections near my temples. It looked and felt like a lot to me, but wasn’t immediately obvious to anyone else apparently. It’s been about 16 months since then and everything has come back, although some of the stubborn areas are only at about 10cm of growth. Like you, I was seriously freaked out and considering consulting a doctor, but I guess some of us just draw the short straw on those hormones. It’s fairly normal.

No. 311410

Been half ass trying for a baby after my miscarriage, but a part of me feels exhausted and dread the thought of becoming pregnant again. It was a rough 3 months of miscarriage healing and the 3 months I was pregnant was so miserable I hated every moment of it. The whole ordeal was traumatic and I felt like cattle constantly undressing for my doctors to probe me for every visit. I feel less human now than before and im depressed for my loss. I guess nobody really talks about the sad parts of pregnancy.

No. 311412

File: 1675540280972.jpeg (168.4 KB, 1283x799, E5C9B849-C56C-4393-A2DC-102426…)

so i purchased an amazon c shaped pregnancy pillow a couple of weeks ago but absolutely hated it. it was so bulky and took up like 3/4 of my bed, plus it got flat after a week of use. i really wanted a bbhugme but the price is insane to get it shipped to canada. i luckily found it on fb marketplace the other day for $50, and omg. it is so worth the money. you can adjust the firmness and position in it so many ways. i highly recommend it! try to find it second hand if you can

No. 311413

I had similar but I also had cancer before pregnancy. I just took fish oil and vitamins and it helped tons

No. 311478

Anon lmaooooooooooooo I love it thank you

No. 311743

Acid reflux and heartburn will be my villain origin story.

No. 311751

>My first marriage when we started ttc everything seemed good but it just didn't work, turned out he was a porn addict in multiple online relationships with teenagers

Um, what. There's men who are married with children and still do those things

No. 311815

I hope this is the right thread to ask, apologies if it isn't. But did any of the moms here(who are happy to be moms and enjoy having a child/children) like the idea of pregnancy but were ambivalent or uninterested in the actual having a kid part, prior to becoming a mother?

I'm 30, married, we're both on board to start trying in 3-5 years, will get some tests done to make sure our junk is functional before that, yadda yadda. Not too worried since my mom had kids easily in her late 30's. And while I don't mind the idea of pregnancy itself now, I kind of like it even as I get older, I can't picture myself as a mother to a child anymore than I could at 20. I don't dislike kids, but I don't really like them either. I have no maternal instinct whatsoever. Whenever I have to hold a baby niece/nephew or a friend's kid the only thing on my mind is "oh my god don't drop it". Sorry if this is rambling, but did any of you feel the same way, but got the maternal feelings when your own child was born? Every happy mom I know irl said she always had strong maternal instincts and desired to be a mother.

No. 311857

Some women's bodies simply reacts poorly to toxic men in their life. Plenty of women in relationships with shitty men often start getting health problems from stress and there's often different omens that you need to catch, infertility being one of them. Some women are simply blessed with their bodies being able to reject shitty men from their life

No. 311865

Nta but masturbating too much means lesser sperm in one ejaculation for a man so porn addicts are more likely to be infertile.

No. 311899

Preemie mom here - my baby is getting her NG tube out next month woo

No. 311918

Congratulations! Hope your baby continues to be in good health and that you're healing well from birth.

No. 312087

>TikTok account about mom with multiple kids with genetic deformities
>Go to account
>Her husband is a decade older than her
Can we please make age gap couples illegal to reproduce? Thank you

No. 312088

It depends. I met very little people who can talk the talk and walk the walk. I knew so many people who loved the idea of having kids but ended up being miserable with children, I also knew people who were indifferent about having kids that ended up loving parenthood. They key is patience and acceptance with children

No. 312095

I wish I was a cavewoman pregnant and foraging for berries while my mate risks his life hunting a wild bison

No. 312106

We don't qualify for Medicaid or any marketplace subsidies.

No. 312130

Medicaid is one of the easiest government programs to get since they never investigate "fraud" unless someone is out to get you and knows you have Medicaid for some weird reason. Just apply for it anyway and don't report your income. I got it and knew multiple people that received Medicaid even when making well over the amount required.

No. 312141

How much does having a light period actually affect your chance of conceiving? I keep seeing articles and Youtube videos saying that you need a thick lining to get pregnant and having a scanty period affects your fertility, but most of these opinions are based on studies regarding women who need IVF. I'm stressed as hell that I won't be able to conceive because my periods have been really light since going off of the pill 4 years ago. I use a cup so its easy to measure the loss, and its consistently only 15-20mL a cycle. I used to have much heavier periods as a teen but they kind of dropped off as I aged. My cycle is regular, my BBT is showing that I'm ovulating and have a sustained rise in the luteal phase, but my periods are light and I'm worried I have low estrogen or that my uterus is fucked from the hormonal bc. I've had one chemical pregnancy but wasn't actively trying to get pregnant at the time, so I guess time will tell now that hubby and I are trying to conceive. Is there anything I can actually do about it apart from the usual exercise/eat healthy advice and seeing a doctor, which I will do if we struggle.

No. 312147

I've had a heavy period all my life until I changed my diet and started taking herbal supplements, weirdly enough the first time I had a light and watery period was when I got pregnant immediately after the first light period I had. My best advice (outside of the usual) is to start TTC a little before you actually do want to get pregnant since sperm helps you become more fertile. There's no way to predict when you'll actually become pregnant but some women just start trying too late and have babies way later than when they wanted because they also didn't account for the time it takes to TTC + length of pregnancy

No. 312168

Most parents will tell you that it's different when it's YOUR kid. I was never crazy about kids until I had my own, once I was pregnant was the only time I started watching baby videos and thinking they are cute and being excited for my own. It takes a little time to get used to being a mom and getting those maternal feelings. People don't tell you this but when your baby is born that is a whole ass person that you don't know at all and suddenly lives in your house, that overwhelming love you feel for your children comes over time.

No. 312214

How do you manage hormones and get them to regulate faster? I'm 8 months PP and feel so fucking bloated and keep breaking out

No. 312220

What's the fastest way to get supply up? I pump and power pump every day but can barely get out more than 2 oz per feed

No. 312224

Nonnas I’m getting kinda nervous. I’m in my late twenties now and still single. Thought the last moid was the one but he chickened out. I don’t want to have children soon but I want to build a solid relationship with someone first and I feel like time is running out. I’d always thought I’d have kids early thirties but the amount of vetting I want to do before shacking up with a score might push that timeline back even further. My family has historically had fertility issues and I’m so nervous about my biological clock. Is there a way to test my fertility? Should I start freezing my eggs?

No. 312227

I’m in the same boat and I really think that managing stress and eating well/hydrating is the best option we’ve got. I recentlystarted taking magnesium biglycinate supplements to help with stress. That specific form of magnesium is apparently best absorbed rather than other kinds. Good luck my heart goes out to you these hormones are still a bitch

No. 312235

Egg freezing is expensive af but now is probably cheaper than older because the statistics on how many harvests it takes to get enough eggs is better when younger. The benefit I've seen for other women is that they relax about finding a moid and that means they keep their standards up, whereas I've seen women in their 30s really fucking settle for less than they deserve because their desperation for a family makes them far too optimistic about men's capacity for character growth. Don't take a fixer-upper, it's not worth it.

No. 312285

Seconding this, is there a test for fertility?

No. 312772

Nigel and I spent about 2 hours last night coming up with baby names. I'm certain we decided on a name if we'd have a girl. Looking for a decen and unique boy's name is difficult. We're turning to biblical and Egyptian origin names.
I'm not pregnant yet, but it's so fun to plan these things. I know we'd still have a few months to plan before the baby even comes, but it's exciting being on the same page when it comes to names.

No. 312785

There's AMH(anti-mullerian hormone) testing, which gauges your ovarian reserve, but that just tells you how many eggs you have left–unless you're in your 40's, this is typically not an issue. It's usually pretty cheap as far as medical tests go, but is still about $150 where I am at least. But that's the only test I know of to "test" your fertility potential without actually trying to conceive.

No. 312932

>baby needs special formula for her NG tube/acid reflux
>If I'm feeding by mouth I can only fix rice/breast milk mix but can't put rice and breast milk down the tube so I'm forced to use formula for tube feedings
>WoW fOrMuLa Is So ToXiC, BrEaSt MiLk iS pErFeCt FoR bAbY
I'm tired of mom groups, everything we do is wrong even when we have no choice. The worst ones are the anti pacifier and swaddling Karen's because "you should just be responding to your babies needs" like okay you try staying awake for 3 days straight because of babies colic or PURPLE crying without losing your mind due to sleep deprivation and PPA and tell me how much you hate pacifiers and swaddles. I bet 10-1 they're all privileged white women who get nanny's or other family members and don't truly grasp what it's like to deal with an extremely fussy baby

No. 313005

that’s cute nona! i have a note in my phone with baby names that i’ve added to over the years. i’m actually pregnant now and a couple of the names are in the running. we are basically going to base the name on the patron saint of the day baby is born, but we have backups just in case it doesn’t feel right lol

No. 313300

There's Modern Fertility, but if you are on bc they don't test for much. My test also came out as high prolactin even on the retest. I got pregnant the month my iud was removed. AMH can tell you something, but you'd be best off getting tested every year or so to monitor the change in AMH.

No. 313410

Nutritionwise, its true that breastmilk is better than formula though. If your body can't produce, you could try looking into buying some from milkbanks. Good luck!

No. 313412

pursuing your own goals and interests made your baby unable to have a stable foundation to its mother and it will likely not be able to have and be able follow its own goals in the future. Neglect in early childhood really fucks your mind. Why do Americans romanticize "the hustle" so much and are unable to sacrifice anything in order to give everything to make their bloodline prosper? Weak imo. Infancy is so short, imagine being in such a rush just to chase money that you can't focus and be there for your helpless little baby for lets say 1 or 2 years when they're at least able to speak and tell you what they were doing during your time away.

No. 313470

Sorry anon, I'm going to listen to actual doctors that made my baby stop puking up entire feeds when multiple rounds of medications wasn't working to keep my milk down (that was exclusively breast milk btw) since rice formula is the only thing that made her stop puking. If you have some magical spell to make my baby stop puking up entire feeds sure step in

No. 313471

>Putting an almost toddler in daycare for 6 hours weekly is "neglect that fucks with its mind"
This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, having a baby doesn't ruin your life. 6 hours a week for classes would barely even be classified as neglect and vast majority of parents let their family watch newborns for same amounts for time anyway. Hell doulas come in for newborns to watch for 5 hours so mom can rest. Multiple studies have been shown parents spend more time with their children than any other time in the past decades. Literally less than an hour daily is FAR far from "neglect enough to ruin a child's mind" get a fucking grip

No. 313474

Anon is likely just a moid who, quite literally, thinks mums need to be GLUED to their children (I've actually seen moids claim a mom is neglecting her child because dad held it while she ate at Christmas) or they're upset because they didn't do anything productive when dad, other family members, or whoever else is helping with baby, that they didn't bother doing anything productive. It's completely normal and healthy for other people to watch the baby. It's no different from family members coming over to watch the baby for a couple of hours so parents can sleep, eat, etc. Why is it suddenly bad because mom is doing something good with her life?

No. 313521

>make their bloodline prosper
kek the obvious deranged moidspeak. I'd say "why do they even try?" but clearly there are those of us dumb enough to not recognize scrote bait a la >>313471

No. 313601

Eating oatmeal every day and taking sunflower lecithin and fenugreek supplements helped me build up more milk supply.

No. 313604

The things that some people consider child neglect is so bizarre to me. My baby was in the NICU for the first few months of her life where I practically lived in the NICU as well and so many staff, usually women, considered the most bizarre things neglect to me. First they would bash me and claim I was neglectful for leaving to get food or to go home, even though I saw all the other parents basically visit their babies once a day or so. Then didn't tell me I could have food sent to my room while breastfeeding, then before my daughter has a feeding tube put in due to oral adversion, every second of the day I had to spend feeding her and I stayed up for like 48 hours straight not even a wink of sleep. When I pointed this out to a social worker she said "it's normal for that" like no, no the fuck it's not normal to literally hallucinate from lack of sleep. It's like being human suddenly makes someone the worst mom on planet. I need sleep and let baby be watched by dad/other family members/doula/etc? Bad mom. I need to put her down for a second to eat? Damn I'm starving my baby. Baby starts crying because I needed to take a few extra seconds to do proper postpartum care? Oh no baby is crying for mom now narcissistic am I?. Meanwhile dad gets a dad of the year award for taking care of his baby. I'd give anything to be born as a man, it's truly life on easy mode

No. 313609

>Explains in detail why baby cant have any breastmilk currently
>Accuses anon of not producing enough and tells her to get some from milk banks
Omfl I can't with you retards. What's even the point of explaining things if you can't be bothered to take a second to read the entire post, and then trying to give medical advice based on a post you didn't even read fully? The audacity

No. 313610

There's one anon who has never had a baby, pregnancy or probably even sex and she(he?) keeps making posts giving anons super bad advices centered around mainly pregnancy or childcare. That anon is probably reading this comment of mine as well, if you are, please stop.

No. 313658

>extremely sad baby story where the baby ends up dying of a rare condition at 6 months old, no known previous genetic history
>Goes to couples page
>Wife brags about her husband being 9 yrs older than her
Ladies PLEASE for the sake of your baby, do NOT reproduce with old men. Christ's sake

No. 313731

This thread and the past few ones is a hotspot for bad advice kek
>Oh your baby can't have breast milk? Obviously you're not producing enough go buy breast milk
>Can't afford kids? Just dig yourself into credit card debt
>Poor? Just have kids! They're not that expensive
>Have kids too late? Just take care of yourself
It feels extremely creepy and predatory, and it seems super unfair young moms (who are now on their own more than ever thanks to our shitty gen x and boomer parents) that we get terrible and harmful guidance and are lost when most of us can't rely on anybody but ourselves. The fact that family coming to help out with a newborn is a privilege for most young moms instead of the norm is baffling. I just feel so cheated that I was basically camping in bed with tons of water, diapers and baby clothes due to not being able to walk around due to pain since I was all on my own but it's basically the bare minimum for parents to even stay and help the first couple of days?? Fuck me

No. 314011

When does "pregnancy brain" stop? I feel like I am legit retarded now. I was in law school before becoming pregnant and 5 months postpartum I can barely turn on the coffee machine that I use every day in the morning. I constantly forget what I was doing. I am bilingual and right now I cant speak either language correctly. I am still having very interrupted and bad sleep due to breastfeeding and baby not sleeping through the night yet so I think this long time of bad sleep has fried my brain completely. I guess it will recover once I get normal amounts of sleep again? Which will be when the kids are in college I suppose. Nobody told me this would happen. Am I alone in feeling like a retard?

No. 314052

I'm almost 9 months PP and it's almost completely away for me even though I went completely stupid while pregnant. Currently PPD is just making my motivation hard for medical school, cleaning and staying healthy

No. 314386

What are good baby foods for 8-12 months? My baby loves pears, bananas and ice cream and it's hard to introduce her to savory stuff and it feels like a waste since she doesn't eat it. She hates chicken and duck but kinda likes broth.

No. 314392

You fed her ice cream before vegetables? No wonder she doesn't want them anymore. Don't give them any sweets until they are at least a year old and eating well. Have you tried vegetables that are sweet like peas and carrots? You might have fucked up by giving only sweet things and sugar so early.

No. 314587

is the ice cream home made and without sugar? Else this is really awful, for the sugar and also the conservants and whatever chemicals they put in there. You might have luck with joghurt perhaps but try one that is natural please. Or maybe a really well cooked sweet potatoe. Avocado is not sweet but is also a good weaning food.

No. 314621

This was a special made baby ice cream anons! I made it in the ninja ice cream maker with breast milk, baby rice, strawberry and banana. Sorry I didn't make it clear. my baby was a preemie with failure to thrive and this was actually suggested by my OT

No. 314909

Why do people keep trying to gaslight women into skipping proper postpartum care? They act like letting the baby cry for an extra minute so you can do by proper vaginal care, eat or drink water is literally abuse. You gotta be kidding me breastfeeding drops blood sugar and women can literally pass out if she doesn't eat and breastfeeds. If you don't properly put on the ice pads or take medical or anything else it can cause infections. It's like as soon as we have a newborn people barely think we're human anymore

No. 314997

Have any anons gone through egg freezing? Is it a worthwhile process? I lost my ovary during my relationship, and we just broke up so I don't know if I will be in a relationship any time soon, and I'm getting older so I would love to freeze my eggs to give me some peace of mind.
Any advice is great.

No. 315056

As long as if you have a period and eggs you can get pregnant. When you're older you're more likely to have multiples since you'll hyperovulate anyway. Egg freezing started out as a predatory business towards women like most fertility companies

No. 315091

>I lost my ovary
I'm sorry but then how will you freeze anything?

No. 315231

What's the best thing for PPD anons? I'm thinking of ketamine infusions

No. 315238

I still have my second one

I haven't had a period in years due to being on an iud and now I'm on the pill so a little concerned about that
>predatory company
so is it not worth it?

No. 315239

I'm having my second period since giving birth and I am feeling a lot of cramping and heaviness in my actual vagina?? Does that mean I have a prolapse? Should I contact my doctor or are these regular period symptoms I never had previously? During my pregnancy I had a million non issues and I'm scared of reaching out to my GP or OB because both of them probably judge me for my health anxiety. They're also male so I don't trust their opinions on female health honestly.. My OB did miss granulated scar tissue I had after giving birth and gaslit the situation a lot. Did anyone else experience this with their postpartum periods?

No. 315271

How long has it been since you gave birth? Have you not had your 6 week postpartum check-up? Can you feel around in there carefully to see where things are at?

No. 315273

My baby had really bad colic and it's only gotten better around the 4-5 month mark. Now she is 5 months and teething. Everyone told me it's too early to be teething and I must be wrong but guess what? There is literally a tooth poking out of her gums today. I can't catch a break. Just wantes to rant cause I am so sick of how much you get gaslit when you have a baby.

No. 315284

I did, and my OB missed my granulated tissue and told me the pain I felt was normal. I saw an pelvic floor therapist twice and she put silver nitrate on it which helped. She did an internal exam but didn’t say anything was abnormal besides the fact that I pee when I sneeze. She prescribed me kegels and said I was good to go. That was about 3 months ago, I’m 18 weeks postpartum now. I still pee when I sneeze

No. 315336

Correct and typically frozen egg babies have a lot of complications. My best advice would be to take out the IUD and use condoms until you're ready since it can be literal months to years before you're able to get pregnant when getting off birth control. It also allows you to track your period which is one of the biggest indicators of any fertility issues and you can control it from there

No. 315397

File: 1678040281016.jpg (43.64 KB, 400x600, dad and baby.jpg)

Has anyone gotten a small gift for after the birth for their partners? I was hoping to get my husband the more premium version of his favorite whiskey, but he didn't know this so he got it himself to share with people as they come by to meet the baby. He's been so wonderful throughout the pregnancy, and was an absolute saint before then too, so I'd like to make him feel a little comforted and taken care of, too. He's such a minimalist that something like a cozy robe would be an annoyance, and I wouldn't want to spend too much, since then he would feel bad instead of appreciative.

No. 315400

He should be getting you a gift

No. 315403

This is your partner, you're the one that knows what he'll like the best. You could maybe get something for a hobby of his or maybe a dinner at a nice restaurant for you both where you can enjoy yourself after things calm down a little and you can get a family member to take care of the baby meanwhile?

No. 315483

You're getting him a baby. No need for any other gifts.

No. 315485

>dinner alone while someone else watches the NEWBORN
Pls stop giving advice if you never had a baby!

No. 315489

ntayrt and i have no stake in this game but you're absolutely psycho, letting other people you trust, (usually family) watch your baby is normal, and has been normal and even expected in most cultures around the world historically. It allows for better long term functioning for the parents. Hence the grandmother hypothesis, etc.

t. anthropologyfag

No. 315522

Nice sentiment, but you literally carried and birthed his baby and you're likely going to be doing more than him looking after your newborn. He should be gifting and spoiling you. Its the bare minimum for men to treat their partner well during pregnancy.

No. 315541

There's been a new wave of people (women and men) who give weird faketrad parenting advice (only to women though) that is basically that women need to have their babies attached to them like a kangaroo would, and they only ever seen to pop up when another person watches the baby so that way the mom can do something she wants to do like go to class, eat, take a shower, etc. Even if the other person is the father. It's funny because postpartum doulas will come in and watch the baby for 4-5 hours and it's bizarre to me the internet experts think they know better than doulas who have been taking care of newborns and postpartum moms for years and even decades

The worst ones are the ones who keep trying to shame moms out of postpartum care by calling it selfish if a woman takes a few extra seconds to ice her freshly ripped vagina or properly clean her c section.

I swear to God these new sexist ideologies are becoming more and more harmful to women. It wouldn't surprise me if FGM started becoming supported in the west

No. 315552

Does anyone else's blood sugar drop immensely when breastfeeding? Everytime I breastfeed if I don't eat right before I will start shaking, getting cold and dizzy and such. My breast milk is also extremely sweet it feels unusual for it to be THAT sugary. Is my body just putting way too much sugar in my milk? How do I stop?

No. 315553

human breast milk is naturally very sweet

No. 315555

A newborn needs to be fed every 1-2 hours, sometimes every 30 minutes if they are cluster feeding. Unless she is formula feeding, which most women don't, she is literally going to be tied to the baby at least for 3-4 months until they start feeding only ever couple of hours. They also need their mother the most when they are newborns, you don't just leave them to go out and have fun. Just shut up if you don't have kids, you know nothing.

No. 315557

Samefag to add that she will also want to spend every moment away from the baby she can get SLEEPING and not going out on datenights.

No. 315558

Are you out of your mind? I have 3 kids. Newborns can go 2-3 hours without eating, most hospitals put women on 3 hour feeding schedules now, which can easily be fed by someone else if you pump beforehand. How do you think women even return to work at 6 weeks if you have to be tied to a newborn? By 3-4 months you can go 4-5 hour stretches at night meaning you only need to wake up once to feed the baby

No. 315560

They cluster feed a lot when they are growing. 2-3 hours is a GUIDELINE given by hospitals. Every baby is different and many babies need to eat way more often than that.

No. 315562

None of my kids ever went 2-3 hours as newborns and even if yours do, do you really want to spend those in a restaurant rushing through dinner so you can get home quickly to feed the baby (that might get hungry earlier than that) or do you want to enjoy a nap when you stayed up all night?

No. 315568

You’ve got real issues anon. I wish your kids luck dealing with a personality like that.

No. 315587

Passive aggressive posters like you are why this thread sucks

No. 315592

yeah, not the ones who sperg out and harshly criticize and talk down to every anon that parents in a different way from them like they're going to murder their children, it's everyone who say "wtf" who are the problem kek.

No. 315643

Again just pump and let someone else feed the baby. We have modern inventions to help women

No. 315697

>so you can get home quickly to feed the baby
Do you not know how babysitting works anon? If the mom is breastfeeding she just pumps in advance and leaves milk and bottles with whoever is taking care of the baby. You just take the milk, pour it into a bottle and warm it up. Reading these posts feels like talking to an alien who's still learning about human child rearing.

No. 315698

>It wouldn't surprise me if FGM started becoming supported in the west
Ever heard of the husband stitch? It's doctors mutilating a woman's vaginal entrance after birth so she's tighter for her husband. It's been a thing in west for a long time already.

No. 315700

No amount of breastfeeding will make a difference in your child because they'll genetically acquire your autism, retard. Have fun when your child ends up being a failure while the women you criticize over tiny shit have normal children because they're not disabled and mentally ill like you.

No. 315784

It's likely a moid who is too lazy to take care of childcare duties so wants to convince women the only way they'll be good mums is if they do 100% of the childcare and never dare let another person watch the baby

No. 315878

I really wish my baby took bottles. I've been EBFing against my will. She refuses to drink from bottles. I tried so many. At this point I am exhausted, but I've made it 7 months.

No. 315881

It’s a fucking baby. Just force it to drink from the bottle. What’s it gonna do, cry?

No. 315882

HE should be the one not only spoiling you with gifts, but WORSHIPPING the ground you walk on. Period

No. 315895

She's a human being with preferences. I don't like making her upset. I tried to "force" her to take a bottle and she just refused to eat all day and cried terribly. Not sure about you nonnas but it physically hurts me when my baby cries intensely.

No. 315898

Anon I didn't have a child but my mother told me I was like that as a baby, hated eating and drinking, and on the rare occasions I ate well I would throw up and she'd lose her mind over it. I can definitely understand how you feel and how heartbreaking and draining your current situation must be for you. But please always remember that you're trying your best.
Do you have any professionals or something like that that you can contact for help? Any female friends or relatives whose baby struggled from similar issues? These issues are super common unfortunately and babies are just not cooperative in most cases. Please don't feel like you're not enough or doing something wrong, most mothers go through this.

No. 315901

Question for those that have already had their kids, what did you find to be the most useful items for you and your babies during/after giving birth? Is there anything you regret getting cos it wasn't that useful or needed?
I am currently in the 3rd trimester and am "nesting" rn, getting the house ready, starting to pack my birth bag etc.

No. 315913

And this is why you take every post itt with a grain of salt.

No. 315928

Use freshly pumped milk (frozen milk has increase lipids which makes it taste soapy) and then try a few bottles (comotomo, Evenflo, Phillips naturals, etc) to see what baby likes or if it's old enough try a sippy or open cup. Also glass bottles make the milk taste better

Make sure baby doesn't have reflux either or else it could cause an adversion and if it does put rice in the bottle and get a reflux prescription. You can also put sugar water (look up how to make baby sugar water) to get baby to suckle

No. 315936

Does anyone ever NEVER have a positive test? For my first I had an ultrasound, went through the entire pregnancy and didn't have a positive test. I checked every direction, took it in the morning and even purposely dehydrated myself and never had a positive test but I was indeed pregnant. I swear to God I'm pregnant now and my uterus feels exactly how it did when I was pregnant and still no positive test. What to do? Should I just get an ultrasound again?

No. 315962

It happened to my mom for all her pregnancy, she got an ultrasound after her period did not came to be sure.

No. 315965

I was wondering if the lesbian nonna and her wife who got pregnant with ivf was going good ?

No. 316003

Off the top of my head, a sound machine, Love to Dream swaddles, and the Fridababy nose sucker. Also, just buy some diapers for yourself instead of bothering with pads.

No. 316004

Thank you all for the advice and kind words. I have tried all of those methods unfortunately. I am working with some lactation consultants and so far my baby simply won't cooperate. She does sometimes tolerate drinking a bit, but not enough to be considered a meal. I'm still working on it. I feel bad when I see other babies who easily take a bottle, but I am hoping with time my little one will get better.

No. 316007

Immediately postpartum I used Depends silloute disposable underwear and I swear they were a lifesaver! Dermoplast and frida icepads were my bestfriend. For my son, we swaddled with muslin blankets because they were cheapest. If you're breastfeeding a boppy is really useful. I ordered 2 button up gowns off of amazon which were super cozy and nice to use while giving birth and afterwards! Don't spend a ton of money though because they get stained

As a newborn and infant these have been used daily:
-A bouncer/ Swing / Floor seat.
-A portable sound machine
-A utility cart for diapers/wipes/breastfeeding supplies
-A rocking chair
-Blackout curtains!
-More burp cloths than you think you'll need

No. 316013

This but swaddles are a good investment if your baby likes being swaddled! And the haaka helps so many wet shirts if you leak like crazy like me. A cosleeper bassinet would be best as well

No. 316047

I bought so many burp cloths and I have never used a single one since my baby doesn't spit up at all.

No. 316048

What tests are you buying? There is definitely a very big difference in quality depending on the brand. The blue dye tests are especially bad.

No. 316129

All of them. Cheap, experience, digital, hospital grade ones, etc. Maybe the hormones just don't come out in my pee? It was like this for my first

No. 316233

Could be you just have naturally low levels of HCG or very slow to rise HCG.

No. 316254

File: 1678467004891.png (513.37 KB, 768x722, Screenshot 2023-03-10 at 11.36…)

can we talk about strollers? i just bought this bugaboo cameleon set off of fb marketplace for $250. it comes with everything: a bassinet, bug/sun/rain covers, drink holder, plus some other things. i really like it and kind of bought it on a whim because the couple were very sweet and it seemed in really good condition. i have no idea about strollers, although i know bugaboo and uppababy are popular. what strollers have you bought?

No. 316372

I just wore my baby in a lille baby carrier until she could sit unsupported on her own. She now uses a McLaren umbrella stroller. Lightweight and well made. My baby loved to look around, so she did not enjoy lot of strollers that obstructed her view.

No. 316419

File: 1678546764916.jpeg (26.41 KB, 554x554, images (7).jpeg)

We have a Maxi Cosi Street+ I am very happy with it except the front wheels get a bit fucky when its been muddy and dirt gets stuck in the mechanism. I would probably buy something with bigger and better wheels next time. Other than that its been very practical.

No. 316989

My aunt said my cousin had a tooth at 4 months, its not unheard of. Hope it goes well. I had used a natural rubber teether that I put in the freezer sometimes. I heard frozen breastmilk in a mesh feeder helps as well, but did not try that myself. Hang in there.

No. 316991

Absolutely same for me, I would like to get my baby to bottle feed as well but nothing works, if it even makes it into her mouth, she just spits it out and cries. 6 month mark now, I hope once she's open to solids I might just give it into an open cup since she hated every rubber or silicone nipple I got.

No. 317037

Dip the nipple in a sugar/water combo (2 tsp of water 1 tsp of sugar) and they will naturally suck on it. Also get slow flow nipples too. The best bottles for breastfed babies in my experience is como tomo, Phillips advent naturals, even flo, first essentials and Minnie. You can also get others to help you

No. 317042

This happened to someone I know irl. She went to the doctor about not having periods but the tests were negative. Found out she was going to be a mom at five months due to an ultrasound. Her baby is happy and healthy.

No. 317071

That is my worst nightmare kek

No. 317089

I've had 3 kids and this always happens to me. For me it's blood tests or straight up ultrasounds

No. 317153

That's because once your HCG gets too high it actually overwhelms normal pregnancy tests and they show up negative.

No. 317180

So my period is usually on time, give or take 3 days. I’m currently two days “late” which wouldn’t concern me usually… but since the day my period was supposed to start, my discharge has had a brown and sometimes pink hue mixed into it everyday now… I don’t think this has ever happened and my periods are usually pretty heavy. It’s probably nothing and it will come right after I post this kek.. but would you nonnas tell your bf of your concerns if you were in my place or wait til it’s been a few more days?

No. 317185

I would take a test before creating unnecessary concern.

No. 317250

Does anyone have any tips for diaper rash? I have been so dilligent, changing her diaper after every poop and never letting her go more than 1-2 hours without a diaper change except at night, always cleaning very thoroughly, always applying barrier cream. I have no idea why she still got a rash and now I don't know how to make it go away. Could it be I am actually putting on too much cream and making it too moist? It's the only thing I can think of. Now I try to change her even more often but she HATES it and I try to let her air-dry in between and hang out without diaper for a while. I'm so sad, I feel like such a failure despite trying so hard to do everything right.

No. 317251

File: 1679054388001.jpg (74.14 KB, 870x870, penaten_creme.jpg)

Samefag to add I use only water wipes with nothing added to them and this cream.

No. 317263

maybe she is allergic tp the diaper material

No. 317264

We used the same brand since she was born and she's only now getting a rash at 6 months.

No. 317304

My thighs are the same size as my waist used to be. I haven't gained more than the guidelines say to. Will my body ever be normal again?

No. 317307

Everyone is different but personally I found it relatively easy to lose the baby weight, especially while breastfeeding you burn a shit ton of extra calories. But I also understand that some women don't since it is much harder to exercise and cook healthy meals with a baby, it's definitely doable but I get why some women would just indulge in snacks and take-out. If you avoid that then you should be fine.

No. 317308

sometimes I don't use any. Maybe try ruling out that baby is not reacting to anything else? Maybe try switching diaper brands, theres some that use less chemicals or maybe use cloth ones. I had good calming of rashes by either putting some coconut oil or the diaper cream from weleda

No. 317520

Samefag just did a test and it’s positive. I’m so nervous right now. I’ve had the worst baby fever but wasn’t actually trying to get pregnant. I’m so scared nonnas of what’s gonna happen to my body and how my family will receive this as my bf and I don’t own our own home or anything yet.

No. 317533

another victim of baby fever succumbs to the horror of motherhood. RIP.

No. 317546

hey! i don’t know if you solved this yet but sometimes diaper rashes can become yeast infections. if you think this is the case, try putting on an anti-fungal cream and letting that dry before putting on barrier cream. you might need to size up in diapers. that was the cause of my daughter’s diaper rash.

No. 317636

go back to reddit you ugly trannoid

No. 317640

Congrats nonna!! Don't worry, I'm sure you will figure something out, just trust in God. You need way less money btw and less things than it seems. And if you live with your or his parents in the beginning it's also doable. Now focus on taking care of yourself and your body until you get to meet your baby, it's the most beautiful experience there is. Dont stress out, your hormones and stress levels during pregnancy are already shaping what kind of person baby will be. I also was slaving in my dead end wagie job and didn't live together with my BF when I got pregnant- now we are living together and life is better than ever with our 6 month old. And don't worry about how family takes it, I even had to deal with MIL telling me and insisting that I have to kill my own child, it can be so grim. But ultimately the only thing that matters is the relationship between you and your baby.

No. 317643

>just trust in God!
Kind of a weird thing to say to someone with real concerns who's shown no indication they're religious.

No. 317656

File: 1679264180790.jpg (77.94 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)

Since the childfree people in their thread are sneering about us having issues with things like breastfeeding and all the other difficult things that come with having a baby I'd just like to say that despite how hard it is sometimes, I feel so overwhelmingly blessed by having my daughter.

I never thought I could love anyone this much and every time I see her smile and hear her do her cute baby giggles I am filled with so much love and happiness. It's so totally worth the sore nipples and backpain to watch her explore the world for the first time and learn new things every day an learning more about her. Whenever I get like 2 hours away from her I miss her already after a couple of minutes and can't wait to hug and snuggle her again. Not even when she is sick and crying all night long have I ever wished not to have had her. Seeing my husband as a dad also made me love him even more and appreciate him in a totally new way. I love having my own family and I wouldn't change it for the world.

No. 317673

File: 1679268873772.jpeg (121.16 KB, 750x886, 4E5ECC04-40DA-4EE0-8B91-757DC2…)

Women in IVF sex selection groups are straight up deranged.

Like I just want a girl child because I’ve seen how misogynistic and awful teenage moids get especially now in the era of ubiquitous porn and meanwhile these women are like 'I want a girl because BOWS and CLOTHES and PRINCESS TEA PARTIES' or 'I want a boy because my moid won’t be able to bond with a girl because he can’t take a GIRL hunting or teach her to fix the car'

I wasn’t aware that there were so many people obsessed with gender stereotypes to this degree before I joined these groups, or at least I’d have assumed that they’d mostly be extremely religious and opposed to IVF

No. 317677

Genuinely what is the point in paying all that money to choose your baby’s sex when there is a chance they will Troon out anyway?
How about don’t be a shitty parent to your kid and expect a perfect daughter because that’s what you paid for?

No. 317684

This kind of parent would probably troon their daughter out if she didn’t like bows or tea parties tbh

No. 317731

What a horrible mom, she's totally the kind that turns her daughter into a doll/minime but once she hits puberty she gets jealous of her and see her as a rival.

No. 317732

Why are we here pretending like most of us don't have a strong girl bias because of believes we hold about women and men and their inherent qualities? I don't see an issue with it honestly.

No. 317741

Ayrt, thanks! We currently live together but it’s only a 1 bedroom apartment. I don’t think our parents will be disappointed or unsupportive, I just worry mine will be concerned. They’re boomers who got to do everything the “right way” in that they got married and bought a house before starting to have kids. I think they’ll just worry that we’re not in as stable of a place as we’d ideally be.

Could you elaborate on needing less money than you think? Everyone I know goes on about how expensive everything is and I’m already trying to think of ways to penny-pinch, such as maybe getting reusable cloth diapers but that seems gross lol.

No. 317767

File: 1679324926424.jpg (71.96 KB, 938x910, empapador-absorbentes-camas-or…)

cloth diapers are fine honestly, the poop is quite washable before they start solids. However you should look into maybe getting a monthly box or something that gives a better deal than buying them packet-wise. You could clean the butt with water and mild soap and keep the water wipes for maybe nighttime/when outside. A baby carrier/sling instead of a stroller. I didnt need a baby bathtub, just hold the baby on your lap while sitting down in shower while newborn, later when they can hold their head you can just hold them up while standing in the shower. In the "airplane" position it was easiest to clean them imo. Clothes if not gifted can be bought for peanuts used on like fb marketplace or thrift shops. If you breastfeed, you dont need bottles or formula. Pacifiers are absolutely optional. You dont need a changerpad let alone a whole furniture for it, I just got 3 bed mats that are waterproof (pic related) and just put it under the baby whereever she was at to change her. Instead of a crib you can put a baby mattress on the floor (make sure to air out daily) or co-sleep. I know this is frowned upon a lot but it worked for me. Oh and I made a diaper cream out of coconut and bentonite clay. Generally you dont need to bathe the baby that much either and just a mild baby soap like from burts bees is fine. No need to get all sorts of oils and lotions and whatnot. The only thing I would get that can also be seen as unnecessary was a bouncer, just so you can leave the baby somewhere while you get some cleaning or cooking or whatever done. However this can also be optional, especially in a 1 room apartment. Make sure that all the things you get are cotton/natural though this is the only thing I would watch out for. Its not worth it to cheap out on fabric and get polyester (plastic).

No. 317768

Beautiful nonna well said and I relate very much.

No. 317792

I knew multiple families who did this, fucked around in their 20s, brought a house and all in their 30s and started trying for babies in their 40s and now they're absolutely miserable. They can't have fun or keep up with their kids, when my husband joked around about bouncing at a trampoline park for birthdays they kept crying about how they'd break something because they're in their 50s now. Everytime I saw them they seemed miserable and constantly giving us shit tier advice like have the second baby 20 yrs later in our 40s even though we're doing good financially and even have a home lined up. This method of waiting til you're older to settle down also forces people to choose someone who may not be right for them if you didn't take relationships seriously in your 20s

No. 317795

Anyone obsessed with gender of their children is extremely weird and gross it seems. At least people who prefer girls tend to do it because they like girly things and girls are more likely to do that sort of stuff, people who prefer boys never ever do it because they like boys personalities more but do it out of a place of misogyny. "Gender disappointment" aka moids who are seething because they wanna be king Henry apparently and demand their wife birth them sons constantly are the worse and don't deserve kids, especially if they choose to get pregnant naturally or don't offer money for IVF and just expect random strong sons to appear in their wives lap

No. 317798

I want a daughter because most men abuse and rape women at least once in their lifetimes whether that be raping a drunk girl, smacking their girlfriends or beating their pregnant wives to death, even if they don't outwardly abuse women, they're very likely to become sexpests who consume abuse porn. I don't want that and sadly there's not much I can do to make a change in a child when the environment affects them this much. I don't want someone like that to be my "child".

No. 317802

God that is horrendous. My daughter is three, and I never expected her to be anything other than herself. Today she wears camo jeans with a Stitch shirt because that's what she picked. Projecting a fantasy onto your unborn and pigeon-holing them before they draw their first breath… just so creepy. Kids are individuals with their own idea of self expression. This woman's daughter will likely resent her.

No. 317812

Yes. When you let your children make their own personality instead of enforcing one on them you get a much better outcome. I'm into girly stuff but I don't push it on my daughter, who's big into sharks and dogs. If you want a specific gender don't have kids. If you expect your kid to have a very specific personality and interests, don't have kids. If you can't handle arguments maturely and calmly don't have kids.

No. 317832

Honestly same. The last thing this world needs is more moids
I have one daughter now, and would like more children. But one of things holding me back is the risk of having a boy. I wish there was a way to only have female babies, apart from aborting once you know the sex

No. 317833

I usually lean child-free because of how much I’d hate having a boy, but if I didn’t have worry about that I might actually want a child. Watching what my brother (and his friends too) turned into despite our amazing parents blackpilled me on the idea of sons forever. It’s horrifying.

No. 317878

I have a daughter too and I'm scared to gamble again. I remember how good and relieved I felt after finding out she was a girl. I really don't want to become a boy mom and have to clean out my son's fap den.

No. 317880

Anyone else get preggo constipation episodes?

No. 317885

Yall are weird as hell for having husbands/otherwise committed moids to procreate with but draw the line at your own child being a boy.

No. 317887

Thank you SO much for this very thorough response. I will take much of it under consideration when we really start to put all the pieces together.

Turns out I was worrying too much, unsurprisingly. I broke the news and they’re over the moon. My dad is a little worried about how we’re gonna handle everything but ultimately everyone is very happy and excited.

No. 317906

You can leave your husband if he turns into a rapist, it's much harder to walk away from a child you gave birth to even if he's a monster. That's why boymoms are the way they are, maternal instinct overpowers common sense.

No. 317921

I’m just a lesbian and I don’t want any males in my household.

No. 317927

Why not? Having a daughter can give you all a perfect reflection of moids or other people in your life. It can quickly reveal how misogynistic someone is or if someone is a perv. I cut out my husband's mom for this reason because she would say creepy things revolving around my daughter such as asking for pictures of her private parts when we got a gender reveal ultrasound. She's 12 months now and is never allowed to met her grandmother

No. 317956

How do you stop people from stealing breast milk anons? I was hospitalized for PPD for a few days and I would turn the milk into my male nurse. When I was leaving he handed me a bag of the breast milk bottles, and I was missing at least 3. Not the first time I've gotten my milk stolen either

No. 317980

You're not allowing your child's grandmother to be in her life because she asked to see the ultrasound pictures? Sorry but you are totally insane.

No. 318076

Did you not read?
>asking for pictures of her private parts
>private parts
No normal person asks to see a fetuses vagina specifically. She also as a weird habit of making sexual comments towards children. Talks to her daughter about sex often, demanded that she needed to watch her daughter have sex for the first time. And also comments on high schoolers breast size. Sometimes when we were watching movies she would just randomly out of nowhere start mentioning every woman's breast size. She asks high school girls if they ever had sex with a woman. She has two assault charges towards her children. I cut her off when she asked for pictures of my daughter's vagina, which was a good choice since months later husband and his sister started revealing that she had molested both of them by claiming she needed to check their private parts. Who's insane now?

No. 318077

nta but fuck that's so bad, if I were in your shoes I would've done the same. Good on you for having the courage to cut her off.

No. 318346

God I swear my hormones were not this fucked up during my first pregnancy. I reek to the point that it makes me sick. Despite strong deodorant, scrubbing my underarms daily, and spraying with alcohol, they always smell horrible in the morning or towards the afternoon. I’m not even a sweaty person; most of the time I’m totally dry. I feel like I’m over washing my shirts too. I don’t want to leave them in the basket for more than a half a day in case the soap can’t clean them well enough.

I’m so self conscious about being near people right now since I’m literally nauseating to myself kek.

No. 318347

I am >>317520 and I’ve settled into the idea of having a baby. While I was scared shitless a week ago of being pregnant, now I’m terrified of something going wrong. I was experiencing strong symptoms (heightened emotions, hot flashes, intense hunger, brain fog, sore boobs) but suddenly don’t feel pregnant. My symptoms have lessened and I know I shouldn’t complain, but I’m getting worried something may be going wrong. Is it normal for symptoms to come and go so quickly?

No. 318362

Remember that you can also smell better (as in able to smell more) during pregnancy. At least I could, extremely.

No. 318375

Yes that's totally normal

No. 318376

You didn't mention any of the other stuff in your post. Old people have different attitudes towards naked children, I bet you all of your parents have pics of you naked in the tub that they think nothing of. Old women constantly fawn over how cute babies butts are. If you had cut her off just for that then yeah, you way overreacted. Now you come out saying she is an actual child predator who assaulted children before thats a bit of a different story and maybe some context you should have included.

No. 318446

She's always had creepy behavior towards children, asking for pics of her vagina was the crossing point. It wasn't until after I already cut her off more stuff was revealed and my gut feeling was right. Parents need to be better at spotting predators and not be afraid of taking action

No. 318539

I made it the whole way through this pregnancy with literally zero issues and now, at 36 weeks, I have covid. What sort of universal force has decided to punish me and why!!!

No. 318560

This happened to me. Perfect pregnancy and my mom visited me and gave me covid. As a reaction to covid, I developed severe PUPPs. It was literal itchy hell on earth.

No. 318850

try doing a baking soda bath for this.
"add 2 tablespoons of baking soda to warm bath water. Soak baby's bottom for 5-10 minutes once or twice a day."
How far along are you?

No. 318876

File: 1680034023911.jpg (48.17 KB, 1000x1000, 51L1jOv20hL._SL1000_.jpg)

Update on the diaper rash, it's gone! We ended up buying Aquaphor because I read it was good for diaper rash and also just let her hang out on a changing mat without a diaper for 10-15mins at every diaper change so she can properly dry and get some airflow and sunlight down there. It helped really quickly.

No. 320227

>new mom
>Baby crying, typically while trying to complete a task and postpartum mental health is fucking up
>Cue the internet experts who want to force women to believe they are on the same level as child abuse if they're unable to get baby to stop crying right then and there
What hellhole did I even wake up in? Is this just a recent thing that these literal retards all seem to have forgotten babies cry and women don't need to run to baby a millisecond after crying started?

No. 320230

Always remember that the worst keyboard warriors have a penis that clouds their judgement. Always. Don't feel bad for them, they're happy in their ignorance, but that doesn't make them right.

No. 320309

Did anyone else have issues with their teeth chipping excessively while pregnant and breastfeeding? I try so hard to take prenatals and calcium supplements (I take them about every other day) and I’m sure I’ve got some kind of vitamin deficiencies going on… because my teeth won’t stop fucking chipping. I have good dental hygiene but I don’t have a very balanced diet ugh. I need to stop eating granola and crunchy rollers

No. 320464

How big of a difference is there between a regular pump and a hopspital-grade rental? I have the option to rent a pump for free for 12 months, but I'm not sure if it's worth having the extra clutter around.

No. 320483

Are you getting enough magnesium/vitamin D? Without sufficient levels of either you can take all the calcium you want but it won't be utilised by your body for bone growth

No. 320494

Eating grains leeches minerals out of you, might skip a few granola bars here and there. Also take vitamin K.

No. 320496

Seconding the Magnesium (specifically glycinate) recommendation. OJ also helps absorption
Could you return it early? It wouldn't hurt to have if you do end up exclusively pumping. I personally have no use for a pump and prefer to hand pump if needed but i know everyone feels different. Electric ones make me feel sewercidal.
Those people are genuinely retarded and if any of them are moms they get off on being the sacrificial mother archetype.
If the babies needs are met they can cry so you can take a shit or eat something. It will be fine.

No. 320675

I'm currently 5 weeks and freaking out a bit about folic acid doses. Around 6 months ago I told my GP I was going to try and conceive this year and she put me on 5mg folic acid. When I found out I was pregnant I also started up a prenatal multi containing 500 mcg of active folate. I see that the recommendation is 400-600 mcg for women without a history of neural tube defects, and 5mg is literally 10x that amount. Is this excessive and should I discontinue? IMO, my folic acid stores should be quite high if I've been taking this dose for so long, and the prenatal should be sufficient. I will talk to my GP about it after Easter weekend but was wondering if anyone had some insight? I do have a B12 deficiency that's being treated and I have decent levels now, so I wonder if thats why she prescribed such a high folic acid dosage.

No. 320704

Folic acid is water-soluble and will be excreted through your urine. You don't have a large storage of it, like you would with vitamin D or other fat-soluble vitamins. You should be ok taking both, but it may be excessive. Your doctor will know what's the best choice for you.

No. 320786

My understanding is that although it's water-soluble, large amounts can't be processed by the liver and end up as unmetabolized folic acid circulating in your blood which can have negative effects. Regardless I'll chat to my doctor about it.

No. 320799


Apparently there aren't any confirmed health risks reported by the cdc so far. I wonder why your doctor wants you to be on so much. Either way, you're technically not supposed to start any supplement without your doctor's approval. All the best nonnie!

No. 320855

Anons do you know any ways to make the appearance of already existing stretchmarks on your body less noticeable? I've been using oils and I feel it has helped but I'm wondering if there are other choices.

No. 320862

Mederma makes a stretch mark lotion. It really improved the appearance of my stretch marks within a few weeks.

No. 320981

Anyone here considering using/has anyone here used IVF sex selection to have a girl? To be honest I think I would be able to raise a non moidy son but it just seems like it would be better to not even have to worry about it; I’d prefer a girl anyway, and I’m only having one child + will likely have to use IVF anyway so… might as well guarantee having the kid I want to have more? I don’t know. It feels weird ethically but I really would like to have a daughter more than I’d like to have a son. Plus a lot of clinics say they won’t do it unless there’s a health reason but I also heard they will do it quietly if you ask or make up a sex related health reason like autism.

No. 321093

Thanks anon.
Do you have any genetic disease that runs in the family and affects men? You could use that as a reasoning. I think choosing sex is illegal in most countries but clinics usually let that stuff slide if you keep quiet about it just like how some abortion clinics abort babies past the official time using made up health issues.
I don't think it's bad ethically, does your husband/wife agree though? That'd be the biggest concern imo. I hope it works out for you and it all goes well.

No. 321105

I live in a Eastern European country and I’m planning to go to Ukraine to do IVF with donor sperm and sex selection. I’m a lesbian and I want a moid-free home kek

I’m probably gonna go to ISIDA clinic in Uzhgorod. From what I’ve seen one cycle costs 7-10k €. There are Facebook groups related to IVF sex selection but they’re mostly populated by weird Christian nut Americans with 7 sons who 'want a girl because they’re obedient and love princesses' or alternatively 'want a boy because their hubby-wubby is unable to relate to girls' so you have to deal with a lot of retards while trying to find information.

No. 321201

you're mentally ill, please don't have children for the love of God.

No. 321222

God isn’t real and the only mentally ill one here is you, moid.

No. 321296

Isn't it funny how lesbians think all harm comes from men and then their statistics of domestic abuse are then higher than of normal couples? It's selfish as hell and mental illness to pay someone to implant you a child that isn't truly yours just to abuse it after you aborted its siblings you fucking freakazoid.

No. 321363

Do you just spam this to random people?
The statistic you're talking about how been debunked multiple times dumbass

No. 321368

File: 1681371543500.jpeg (14.25 KB, 680x476, CCC07522-CB6C-4732-9DA3-B07ACA…)

Can’t tell if you’re a scrote or a fucktarded boymommy but either way you’re living proof why women shouldn’t have sons kek

There are no benefits to male children, they’re more likely to have all mental illnesses except depression, more likely to have ODD and behavioral problems, more likely to commit crime, less likely to finish school and get a degree, and nowadays all are misogynistic porn addicts starting at an early age. Also all metrics show that lesbian couples are better parents than straight ones, mostly due to the absence of a scrote. Cope and seethe.

Also abortion is based, especially if males are being aborted.

No. 321369

can you share those studies/metrics anon? that sounds very interesting!

No. 321370

Not involved in this and not a lesbian but those statistics don't show abuse between women but rather how many lesbians have been abused in total by either men or women.
Nta but kek. Why are some of you so obsessed with anons getting IVF? Bringing up religion and god on a site that's %50 porn and horny posting is so ironic.

No. 321373

File: 1681376249544.jpeg (132.87 KB, 750x969, 93A218E0-3053-4801-A91C-79B37A…)

>The results indicate that children raised by same-sex parents from birth perform better than children raised by different-sex parents in both primary and secondary education.

>Results revealed no significant differences between the 2 groups of children, who also compared favorably with the standardization samples for the instruments used. In addition, no significant differences were found between dyadic adjustment of lesbian and heterosexual couples. Only in the area of parenting did the 2 groups of couples differ; lesbian couples exhibited more parenting awareness skills than did heterosexual couples


>According to their mothers' reports, the 17-year-old daughters and sons of lesbian mothers were rated significantly higher in social, school/academic, and total competence and significantly lower in social problems, rule-breaking, aggressive, and externalizing problem behavior than their age-matched counterparts


>corporal punishment is less commonly used by lesbian mothers as a disciplinary measure than by heterosexual fathers

>Since the sexual abuse of children that occurs within the home is largely perpetrated by adult heterosexual males (Balsam et al., 2005; Turner, Finkelhor, & Ormrod, 2007; Peter, 2009; Putnam, 2003; Shusterman, Fluke, McDonald, & Associates, 2005; Zink, Klesges, Stevens, & Decker, 2009), growing up in lesbian-headed households may protect children and adolescents from these types of assault
>When compared with age- and gender-matched adolescents of the National Survey of Family Growth, the study offspring were significantly older at the time of their first heterosexual contact
>None of the NLLFS girls reported pregnancy

No. 321377

Do you think those surveyors went around door to door asking “any domestic violence going on in here?”, jackass? The study asked couples if either of the two had ever experienced domestic violence.

“Lesbian relationship” doesn’t mean “never dated a man”, there are fully homosexual women who took years to realise it. You don’t need more than a braincell to see domestic violence is a male crime. The more women in a couple, the more likely you are to encounter a victim of domestic violence.

Your interpretation is like saying girls are rapists because you’d find a higher percentage of SA victims in a girls’ school. It’s a disingenuous narrative created to tarnish women and say that sweet evil men aren’t that bad, “you’d beat your wife too if you had one uwu”.

No. 321700

This is more of a vent/rant. I am going to the US from Europe with a baby and I just found out that it's apparently a CRIME to bring your baby car seat with you into the US.

>A person may not manufacture for sale, sell, offer for sale, introduce or deliver for introduction into interstate commerce, or import into the United States, any motor vehicle or motor vehicle equipment….unless the vehicle or equipment complies with the standard…Title 49 Section 30112 of the US Code of Law. Child seats are items of motor vehicle equipment. The fine is up to $1000 per violation.

What the fuck? Guess I am buying a new carseat first thing after landing with a baby after a long ass flight. I don't really trust used/rented seats since you never know if they have been in an accident.

No. 321711

Is anyone really going to stop you? I doubt most of them are even aware of that law

No. 321718

Supposedly the TSA will confiscate it

No. 321763

there's fairly cheap ones available at like walmart and stuff here, $60 ish dollars, but I wouldn't think its a crime to just bring it but probably yes to use it?

No. 321775

This is interesting, I’ve never heard this before. Apparently you also can’t use a US car seat in Europe or Australia (and vice versa) because of different regulations. Sorry anon, that sounds super annoying. Traveling internationally with a little one is already hectic as it is.

No. 321845

Actually the opposite, apparently it's not a crime to use it, but a crime to import it.

No. 321908

Can we talk about anatomical changes after childbirth? I've had one child so far and I think everything for me has returned to normal fully now around 6 months after birth. We had sex 6 weeks after birth and it did not feel great at first but now it actually feels better than before and PIV orgasms are actually easy for me now. I think that giving birth made my cervix less sensitive cause I used to always get pain and flat out couldn't do some positions during certain times of the month and now I don't get that at all anymore and it's all just very pleasant feelings all around.

I was so afraid of having my vagina "ruined" by giving birth and I know that it CAN happen if you have a super traumatic birth, fingers crossed it will not happen to me in the future, but I'm surprised that the changes for me were actually positive. I feel like nobody ever talks about this stuff except to share horror stories.

No. 321988

Yeah my vagina looks and feels the same. I was really surprised, especially because I had a second degree tear. I can't see any scar tissue because it's mostly internal. My bladder did shift though, I can actually feel a lot more pressure in my urethra during sex and when I have to go to the bathroom. There's not much I can do about it besides kegels forever. I was also able to heal my diastasis recti with a few youtube videos, but I have loose skin and pretty bad stretch marks. Overall I thought my vagina would look and feel totally different but really the stretch marks were the worst part of childbirth for me. I forgot to mention that I had pre-eclampsia which made me gain an excessive amount of weight, I probably would have been totally fine if it weren't for that! I plan on having more

No. 322224

Would you mind linking those videos? I'm 5mo. pp and I feel like my abs have just forgotten the way they used to be. My midwife doesn't want to refer me to a physical therapist since "it's so early" and my body is "still healing"… Nevermind that apart from the separation, I'm back to normal. I'm just pissed off all the time from being indoctrinated by the fucking patriarchy into believing my body was going to be "ruined" by childbirth. Some seperated abs and loose skin and stretchmarks can't ruin fucking perfect female beauty lol. Sorry for rant.

No. 322722

I'm nine months pregnant and overcome with irrational disgust at the thought of my MIL holding my baby. I remember her holding my nephew when he was small and talking about how she remembered her own sons as small children, and I'm weirdly angry picturing this exchange with my own child. Last time we saw her she remarked about how seeing me took her back to her own pregnancy. I don't feel upset thinking about my own family, or any of my other in-laws. My hormones are obviously acting up. Does this feeling go away?

No. 322788

The over the top crazy preggo emotions went away from me around 3 months PP.

No. 322793

I actually feel like child birth made my vulva more attractive. And postpartum was the first time in my entire life I was okay with my body's appearance. Moids and pickmes just want to claim women are ruined to neg them

No. 322824

File: 1682104198842.jpg (62.55 KB, 718x387, IMG_6724.jpg)

I dont like my stretch marks and that my boobs are huge and sort of saggy now but husband is very happy and I can actually orgasm vaginally without having to rub my clit during sex. So you win some and lose some. But you likely won't have as much sex, as by the time you get the baby to sleep you're gonna be very tired as well. Or get ready to get jiggy with it while having your little one watching you and babbling.

No. 323090

My sister told me one of her friend’s boyfriends broke up with her after she gave birth with the excuse that “the baby isn’t a male” like what the fuck is this? The 1400s?

No. 323093

These posts are so sweet. I've always thought women had this kind of a glow to them after childbirth no matter how tired they were.

No. 323270

No problem, anon!! Glowbody PT has some great resources. I’m following Abby Pollock to see if she uploads anything soon because she just did a video about diastasis recti. I completely agree! I can’t believe doctors don’t actively recommend at least the most basic PT exercises…. It happens to most women. I did these exercises 4-5x a week for probably. 6 weeks but I still do them at least 2-3x now because I really want to make sure my core and pelvic muscles stay healthy! I take 1 HIIT class a week at the gym but she rarely does any exercises that activate the transverse abdominals which I’ve noticed about most mainstream core workouts. Make sure you really focus on deep belly breathing throughout both workouts, it helps a lot.

No. 323290

This is going to sound really stupid so just bear with me. my brother and his wife very recently had a baby, and I'm super excited for them, but I'm worried that when I go and visit I won't be able to like…interact with the baby properly. I have no idea how to interact with very young children, I always feel really awkward around babies/young kids because I just have no idea what to do. But I want to be able to actually play with my own niece, lol, so do any nonnies have advice? Also, second question, do any nonnies have any tips on what kind of gift I could give my sister in law that may or may not be baby related? Or have any of you gotten a postpartum gift that you really appreciated and would recommend? I don't know if I'll be able to visit them soon, but I want to bring her something nice since she did all the hard work!!

No. 323379

Food or a doordash/grubhub giftcard is the perfect thing to bring. As for how to interact, newborns don't really play much. If she offers you the chance to hold her, smiling is good, but toddlers really are more interactive. Offer to take a picture of SIL with baby; not enough people do that for the mom.

No. 323412

Newborns are basically potatoes that just sleep, eat and poo. They don't play or interact with people yet. Just sit down and let them put the baby in your arms if you want to hold it. I second food as a gift, something she just needs to warm up so she doesn't have to cook or maybe some lactation cookies.

No. 323971

Thank you so much nonny, this is exactly what I've been looking for! I browsed myself a while ago but I never found any video that I thought was based in actual evidence, and IRL everyone was just remarking at "Dont do situps until it's closed, do other exersizes" without getting into details of what to do instead!?
I hope other nonnies see this post because as you said, this really should be a part of the basic information you're given pp. I wanted to have this info at the hospital damn it, before I worked out in the wrong way for weeks and got nowhere. Our bodies are bloody amazing for being able to go through such a huge change, to give life to a whole other being, and come out looking even better!

No. 324063

How do nonnas feel about homebirths? Strongly considering it given the baby is healthy and there aren't expectations of complications.

No. 324064

my mom did it for me and my sister with doctors and midwives present. she liked that she didn't have to hang around the hospital for too long and found it was more comfortable. no complications. not too knowledgeable about it firsthand though

No. 324139

dangerous, nona, there are thousands of things that can go south while giving birth. in the event of complications arising, an ambulance and transfer to the hospital would take minimum one hour while you would be cared for immediately in a regular hospital stay. i wish you a happy and safe delivery and a healthy baby

No. 324153

I think a lot can be said for traditionalist ways but I don't think pregnancy is the right time to reject modern conveniences. A lot of things can go wrong even if you didn't anticipate them beforehand. Lots of women before you could've prevented complications had they had access to hospital care like you do anon.

No. 324576

>moid-free home
kek, never change nonny

No. 325145

I'm also considering it but its not exactly the standard here. In the private health sector in my country the rate of c-section is 76%, which is absolutely insane and reflects on our OBGYNs mindsets about birth. My husband would prefer labouring in hospital as he's worried something could happen to me during labour. From what I've read, the need for interventions in labour go down significantly with planned home labour, but the risk for neonatal death varies. Some studies indicate that the neonatal death rate is similar to hospital births, while others state its higher than hospital births. Things can go wrong in any labour, but it makes sense to me that labour would go smoother (if you're low risk) in a place where you're comfortable, allowed to move, not subjected to a ton of cervical checks and suggested interventions to get you out of the labour ward as soon as possible at your doctor's convenience. On the other hand, if you're unlucky enough to have a serious unexpected complication, you're essentially screwed during homebirth. I'm really scared of being pushed unecessary interventions and being rushed through labour (emphasis on unecessary, I know interventions are needed sometimes), especially being a first time mom who statistically might experience a longer labour.

No. 325146

Laying on your back is pretty much the least comfortable or convenient childbirth position. Squatting is a much better and natural position, as gravity too helps.

No. 325262

Absolutely never do this for your first birth. Nothing in life can prepare you for that shit and you do NOT know how you are going to react. I went in thinking that I'm going to have an all natural birth, no need for an epidural etc. Well I had no fucking idea how absolutely mind-shattering the pain of labor is and I started to panic so much in the hospital because my contractions were SO CLOSE together that I never got a single break in between, it was just pure and constant agony until I was begging for an epidural. I was so glad to have supportive nurses and doctors around me who could immediately administer aid for me. I was panicking so hard there was no way I could have even pushed because the pain was so bad it just made me shut down completely. Unless you know how you are going to react during birth then you should NOT BE ALONE. The second birth is usually easier and you will already know what you are in for, but personally I would never have a home-birth just for the sake of my baby. If your baby dies because the cord is wrapped around their neck or compressed in the birth canal then you would never forgive yourself.

No. 325961

How much weight did you gain post-pregnancy?

No. 326913

I had a home birth yesterday! My care provider was a practice of certified nurse midwives and I live about 7 minutes from an excellent hospital. The main downside was zero pain relief. Plenty of birth centers in the area offer a nitrous oxide for pain, as does my nearest hospital, but that's not something legally permitted in home births where I live. In the UK and probably other countries, this is an option, so that would make home birth more appealing. Nothing could have prepared me for contractions, but if I was dead set on and unmedicated in any setting that would have been the same. It was a lot more planning and preparation for me, and if my Nigel wasn't totally on board and helpful with the planning it wouldn't have worked. It was nice to be in a familiar setting, and much easier to feel confident in sticking to what you want without getting bullied by a provider. They took care of cleaning up, thank goodness. I did worry about the neighbors hearing, though, especially around 3am. It was so good to be in our own home and own bed after. I wouldn't recommend it if you live somewhere rural where a hospital transfer would take a long time, or with a provider with lesser certifications. Home birth is definitely a choice that I feel privileged to have been able to make.

No. 327013

I didn't gain any weight. I lost 80% of the weight I gained in the first 4 weeks and the last 20% within 4 months postpartum. Breastfeeding makes the weight fall off.

No. 327048

Same here. Baby is almost 8 months and I even actively try to eat extra in order to produce milk but now I'm exactly the weight I was before pregnancy, just with bigger boobies so I cant fit in stuff I used to wear lol.

No. 327051

Congrats nonna! You're incredibly powerful and inspiring for all women. I'm glad you had this option and that it all worked out good for you. Now you can go straight to enjoying that dreamlike newborn phase without any hospital vibes. Great stuff!

No. 327309

File: 1683753108909.jpeg (22.48 KB, 646x528, 98434-meme-the-pepe-frog-sad.j…)

I just found out I'm pregnant with a boy. How do I raise him in a way that won't result in him trooning out or becoming an incel?

No. 327314

Have an emotionally involved father and don't let him have unsupervised internet access.

No. 327315

Lots of outdoor activities, hiking, playing in the woods taking him foraging, hunting, gardening, tending to animals etc. Skills and hobbies like woodworking, knitting, sewing, drawing, music etc is also very good.

Kids who grow up around and to appreciate nature tend to end up more adjusted from what I can tell. Gives them less instant stimulus, calms them and provides a good sense of achievement, as well as builds their muscle and hand eye coordination in a healthy way. Make him appreciate and like things rooted in the real world.

No. 327356

Sorry if i’m shitting up this thread, I don’t have a baby but just a thought about how people around me talk about kids/babies.
I’m a very young adult. Kinda sucks to hear fellow gen z around me shitting on having kids/“hating” kids because they think it’s edgy and cool to be “independent” (as if mothers can’t be). I’ve always dreamt of getting married, having a baby or two, doing “traditional” mom things like cooking for the family, etc… and I always feel weird to say this around my friends
It’s a little sad how so much of gen z is focused on personal and financial success that many ppl feel like having a family is the biggest money drain of their life that is going to break down their career so that it’s not even something to strive for. I mean there is some truth to that because kids are expensive as fuck, but after talking to a lot of moms, I just see so much happiness that comes out of the financial and personal sacrifice of having kids. Props to all you moms out there :) there seems to be so much struggle but I respect you all so much(:))

No. 327363

This, unfortunately so much of how boys turn out is based on the male role models they have.

No. 327369

I know a lot of kids with no dad who didnt troon out or incelize, while there are kids with loving dads who did all that and then some…
Don't let the internet raise them, be involved in his/her life, maybe homeschool PLUS after school sport or dance so theyre not a loner with no irl world experience.

No. 327371

If this was true then we wouldn't see so many shitty kids who have a seemingly loving mom and loving dad who are desperate for help
Although the mom being naive and letting a stranger come by and *olest the kids out of sheer stupidity does have a bad outcome yeah

No. 327372

A lot of them can barely afford a one bedroom apartment, I don't see how they'll be able to afford feeding + health insurance for a whole family unless they're trust fund kids. I think part of their reaction is also because of how often women are pressured into it. Not saying that women who enjoy having kids don't exist, just that I can see why some may be against it if they're being told constantly from a young age to do it or come from a strict family, culture etc., like being told/expected to do something often makes people want to do the opposite or it just feels tiresome.

No. 327373

>dreamlike newborn phase
She's beautiful, but dreamlike would be a lie. Posting this from a sitz bath to heal from 2nd degree tearing while my husband cleans up colostrum vomit and some sort of foul diaper situation. We knew it would be hard but nothing could have prepared us. My mom is an angel and stops by daily to help.

No. 327408

Being a mom is the hardest and most underappreciated job in the world. I still wouldn't want to do anything else tho. One hug, smile or kiss from my daughter makes up for all the nights of screaming during teething and colic. I think the most magical thing about raising kids is learning about a new kind of love you never thought possible. The kind of love a mom feels for her child is the biggest love in the world.

No. 327466

Loving dad isnt enough, he has to not be a complete wimp, which is hard to find in modern men. Not saying he has to be über macho, but like, men nowadays are more feminine than most women and scared of manual labour and have no stoicism. They're basically overgrown children to their wives.

No. 327625

It's not just about being loving, but the parents have to set a good example and guide their children too.
Stop using "feminine" as a negative term. Just say they are childish and weak.

No. 327771

My mom and aunt both did home births for three out of six kids. Midwives there for two of those and no complications for any of them, they both said it was because huge hips run in the family. However, my sister did both of hers in the hospital, and her first hurt so badly that she honestly thought she was going to die and so the doctor did a c-section. But the hospital also dropped the ball a million times during her labor and the doctor admitted that he wanted to go home so they did the c-section sooner rather than later, so hers might have gone a lot smoother if she had had a midwife or doula.

No. 327782

Stoicism isn't much better imo.

No. 327792

Being in control of feelings is an important trait fathers should have, I wouldnt want to raise kids around men who screams and have tantrums over video games like men nowadays do

No. 329015

Scrotey post.

No. 329017

Nonna could have worded it better, but it's kinda true. Men generally are kinda shit

No. 329025

I've seen tradwives say it this way, and some posts in this thread can be borderline trad sometimes.

No. 329286

I'm convinced some of you just throw a dart at a post to call it scrotey

No. 329684

Complaining about men being 'wimps' and 'feminine' is scrotey language. Emotional instability is actually a masculine trait and every woman knows this.

No. 329805

Kek no it's not. Shit like this is the reason why lolcow is slow as molasses now. You have to walk on eggshells to the point where you can be accused of a scrotes while shitting on scrotes all because of the words you used to describe men being crappy

No. 329806

nta but anons have always been like this here, it's not new. the reason lc is slow now is because shaymin nuked half he userbase's access to the site for several months, not because most anons dislike tradfaggotry

No. 329828

I agree. I am tired of people using feminine as an insult. Just say they are weak.

No. 329872

God whatever, you know what I mean, is splitting hair that important? A man should not be an unstable man child whiny little boy, is that better?

No. 330242

We are moving across the continent with an 8 month old baby and I am soooo afraid of the long plane trip, it will be over 13 hours all together. She is a good baby when entertained, fed and awake but she is used to sleeping in a dark room with white noise, laying snuggled up next to me being nursed to sleep so I have no idea how I am going to get her to sleep on the plane at all when it's bright and there are people all around. We booked first class to make it more comfortable for her and have more space but I am very scared everyone there will hate us and give us the evil eye any time she makes a noise.

Anyone have any tips? I already bought some new toys that she has never seen before plus I will bring a laptop because she likes to watch sesame street and disney songs. Grateful for any and all advice!

No. 330277

you could try to nurse her during take off and landing so that the ears hurt less. Theres also some ear muffs for babies so the noise isnt as hard on her.

No. 331422

True, but I feel like more and more posters have started leaving because it feels like walking on eggshells to not get called a scrotes. I went from visiting lolcow everyday now I barely visit once a month anymore

No. 331800

I cant wait to be a mom yet i hate men with a passion and dont want to deal with one yet being a single mom is incredibly difficult and i have a lot of plans regrading my career and studying

No. 331804

in exactly the same situation. i really want to become a mom soon, but men are horrendous.
sending support your way.

No. 331843

In the same boat as you but I'm closing in on 36 and for me personally, I feel that's approaching too old territory.

No. 331959

My mom had me at 39 and I turned out fine (yes I use lolcow but I promise I am not autistic). If you have a son instead of a daughter tho there is a big chance he will be a sperg. Also in your late 30s there is a higher chance of pregnancy complications.

No. 332602

There is risk but not that much. The biggest concerns is simply planning your babies life around yours. Please do not bring humans into this world if you do not bother thinking about how you will plan for them into adulthood.

I see this among gen z parents as well where a lot of them are trapped or cannot grow because they are too worried about their parents or their parents never helped them prepare for adulthood (because they're worried about their end of life plans themselves)like what usually happens

No. 332604

i feel like thats not too old , plenty women i know had a kid (usually their second , though) in their 30s with little to no complications. 40s is where it gets tough

No. 332621

At the local elementary schools, there are so many parents who are in their late 30s, well into their mid 40s. It's honestly rarer to see parents in their 20s, and with elementary school you're dealing with children in the 4-10 year range, so subtracting their child's age to theirs reveals a lot of them had children in their late 20s and 30s and a lot of the elementary school children reveal they're only children or even the oldest child of the family.
I think it's more of an effect of the current state of the economy and the general culture surrounding parents and actually giving birth to children. The workforce is unnecessarily bombarding the average employee with so much stress, making claims of needing more productivity to make everyone look busier than they actually are because they've employed someone who doesn't know how to do the bare minimum and would rather not discipline the individual, let them go, and hire someone else, but have everyone else make up the work for them. More employees are calling in, thus more employees are being called in to cover. Money is scarce, inflation is rapidly increasing compared to the raises we're getting. Where's the time to properly prepare for having a child when you don't feel like you're making enough and/or you keep getting called to cover because you'd like to make a few extra bucks? I hear so many people say, "There's people who have kids all the time and when they're young", but really… where are they? It's really not that common anymore.

No. 332624

Has anyone here ever babytrapped a man before and also how effective is it?

Don't judge me please

No. 332631

Not me personally but I have watched it happen with people I know and it does not work. Great way to become a single mother.

No. 332697

My newborn is so tiny and perfect it makes me a little sad that she's getting bigger. I love how healthy and strong she is, and it's good that she's growing, but these moments feel so precious.

No. 332710

One way ticket to single momhood. not worth it

No. 332737

She sounds amazing, I’m glad you’re enjoying this time anon

No. 332798

You cannot actually trap a man, it doesn’t work that way. Usually a man traps a woman because men don’t feel the same attachment or empathy towards a child that a woman feels . Just don’t do it

No. 333288

The only thing you can probably (but not definitely) get by doing this is child support payments, which almost never make up for the cost of raising a child.

No. 333334

Not a mother, but I've read several reports that when some women have had a baby, the baby's father becomes incredibly jealous of their own child - to the point of violence against the woman.

If you are trying to babytrap a man, all I can see the best outcome being him leaving and actually paying support, after that all the other outcomes are miserable.

No. 333456

How bad is having a baby in your early 30s? I am very nervous but I want babies…

No. 333522

It’s totally fine. Why don’t you go to an OBGYN and talk about your concerns with them?

No. 333571

Yes. I'm so tired of TikTok moms that are like 22 with 4 kids (most of the time they just post thirst traps). I know this one mom who's a major cow. Her entire page is thirst traps and her showing off being a trailer park mom of 4 while making the most basic crappy food possible that's very little on the child's plate. Ofc you can't question it because you'll immediately get bombarded with "stop mom shaming, she knows how much her kids eat she knows best" or some super weird and rare hypothetical that would totally explain why she isn't feeding her kids well other than she can't afford to

Tbh I have no problem with lower income moms. Living in a trailer with 2 kids at a young age? Sure, 3 is pushing it. 4 your just extremely stupid and irresponsible with your pregnancies (back to backs are dangerous) and don't care about the quality of your child's like as long as if you get clout

No. 333572

Yes. I'm so tired of TikTok moms that are like 22 with 4 kids (most of the time they just post thirst traps). I know this one mom who's a major cow. Her entire page is thirst traps and her showing off being a trailer park mom of 4 while making the most basic crappy food possible that's very little on the child's plate. Ofc you can't question it because you'll immediately get bombarded with "stop mom shaming, she knows how much her kids eat she knows best" or some super weird and rare hypothetical that would totally explain why she isn't feeding her kids well other than she can't afford to

Tbh I have no problem with lower income moms. Living in a trailer with 2 kids at a young age? Sure, 3 is pushing it. 4 your just extremely stupid and irresponsible with your pregnancies (back to backs are dangerous) and don't care about the quality of your child's like as long as if you get clout

No. 333574

Yes. I'm so tired of TikTok moms that are like 22 with 4 kids (most of the time they just post thirst traps). I know this one mom who's a major cow. Her entire page is thirst traps and her showing off being a trailer park mom of 4 while making the most basic crappy food possible that's very little on the child's plate. Ofc you can't question it because you'll immediately get bombarded with "stop mom shaming, she knows how much her kids eat she knows best" or some super weird and rare hypothetical that would totally explain why she isn't feeding her kids well other than she can't afford to

Tbh I have no problem with lower income moms. Living in a trailer with 2 kids at a young age? Sure, 3 is pushing it. 4 your just extremely stupid and irresponsible with your pregnancies (back to backs are dangerous) and don't care about the quality of your child's like as long as if you get clout

No. 333576

Does not work. Remember, men can easily leave and you will be the one now miserable because you don't have the man you were obsessed enough with to do this for and are saddled with the reality of a child you wanted for the wrong reasons. Think of your future, and thinknof the hypothetical child's future. Not worth it.
This is true, my own aunt had major drama immediately after giving birth because her husband was blowing up at her and having tantrums out of jealousy. Her sisters all had to intervene and camp out at the house all because this man was jealous of a mother tending to her 1 month old newborn.
And in case anybody has preconceptions about the circumstances under which this might happen, this was an upper middle class family in America where both parents where 35+.

No. 333854

If a moid gets jealous because of a newborn he is automatically a terrible dad, husband and person. Even just jealousy aside. Your wife got ripped open either via c section or vaginal birth and shes doing enough work to make you jealous? He shouldnt even have had time to think about jealousy

I thought about this with MrsMidwest and Abby&Matt too. They probably only do it to prove how trad they are by keeping the woman barefoot and pregnant and have no regards on how this will affect the baby either

No. 334306

File: 1686296201671.jpg (967.57 KB, 5760x3840, The-Laundress-Baby-Collection-…)

Anons now that laundress has been recalled what are some better alternatives for that delicious smell? I like noodle and boo and dreft doesn't hit the same like it use to

No. 334343

This happens with most men who were spoiled by their mothers. They make their wife play mommy for them and once the baby arrives and they have the share their "mommy" they act like a retarded toddler. This isn't the woman's fault and it's not easy to foresee this outcome as most men hide this facade of theirs until the baby is born.

No. 334398

better to ring trap a man

No. 335322

I'm looking for high a high quality plushie for my daughter, that can be shipped within the US. Most of the ones I see in stores and online are such cheap crap, all made in China from the cheapest fabrics and with no love put into them at all. Do any of you know a good site to order something that's actually made with love? Maybe Etsy?

No. 335324

Make one yourself. My most cherished plushies from childhood were ones my mom made me. And she is not an artist at all. The wonky handmade look always made them extra lovable to me and knowing my mom made them for me out of love is so cute.

No. 335331

handmade plushes made in America

made to order

maybe those? I kind of want the adelie penguin

No. 335752

unscented free and clear is the best to use, enjoy the natural smell of your baby
I really like GUND and jellycat personally. Also nip brands are good.
I would be careful with etsy bc there's a million chinese drop shippers now.

No. 335762

File: 1686880433001.jpg (6.06 KB, 225x224, images.jpg)

More of a Mommy talk I guess but we took our daughter to build-a-bear for the first time for her birthday and she loved it so much.
She picked out everything pink and "shparkly" and a tutu and I love her for that its so freaking cute.
When we got back I was in the bathroom and I heard her run up to her daddy and say "Daddy I'm happy"
She's just so sweet and I'm so happy we can do nice things for her like this

No. 335766

Oh my god how I want a daughter so badly.

I have such bad baby fever and I'm only 22, I've been trying my best to avoid the feels too much but I'm SO eager. I've had baby fever in the past pretty badly but this is like NEW. Oh how I want children.

No. 335770

Its the hardest and most rewarding thing I've ever done.
Though definitely never rush it nonnie i would never want this with just any moid, you have plenty of time.

No. 335972

I have a toddler and am pregnant. I keep having an impending sense of doom for no reason. has anyone else had this?

No. 335977

File: 1686955219069.jpg (40.28 KB, 535x425, kiwi.jpg)

When did everyone start getting normal vaginal discharge back postpartum while breastfeeding, and was it an immediate precursor to ovulation resuming?

No. 335986

Around 7-8 months for me, but still no ovulation since I am still breastfeeding.

No. 336087

How can I tell I am ovulating? Even when it was confirmed via ultrasound I have zero physical signs and everytime I take an ovulation test it is positive

No. 336186

You can tell this comment was made by someone who doesn't have a baby. Free and clears simply don't get spit up stains and smells out as much as an enzyme cleaner does

No. 336229

Nah girl i spot treat any stains and have never had a problem.

No. 336259

Do you know how ovulation tests work? They are not like pregnancy tests where a second line popping up means positive. They are only positive when the line is darker than the control line.

No. 336313

When was your last check up and blood work? The doom could be a sign of anxiety (it makes sense that you would be anxious to be a mother of a newborn and a toddler), but your body can also be trying to tell you something is wrong. I doubt this is the case for you since you're young enough to have a pregnancy, but my grandmother felt an impending sense of doom in the week leading up to her heart attack.

No. 336344

Seconding bloodwork. It might be as simple as a deficiency, when I'm low in vitamin c i get that feeling.

No. 336382

My blood work and everything is okay, I do believe in gut feelings but my gut feeling has always been unreliable in the past. I found out it was because of how my SSRIs are reacting due to me stopping them because of pregnancy

No. 336514

First time mom here. What items can I get second hand for baby? Im assuming things that can get really dirty and are difficult to clean are a big no like camp cots, but what about prams, car seats etc?

No. 336539

Everything but mattresses and car seats (car seats are usually outdated and don't meet modern safety standards). There's usually numbers on every item that you can look up on the companies site to see if it's been recalled or not. Also some companies (typically Evenflo and 1st safety) will just send you new things if you use the email registration

No. 337122

Swings, bouncy seats, bassinets and things like that yes.
Definitely clothes.
Would avoid mattresses and car seats like another anon said. You can definitely get a stroller secondhand but a stroller with infant carseat combo is a good thing to look into.
I honestly have like 4 strollers lmao but i think its good to get some kind of small lightweight stroller once the bany is sitting.

No. 337164

Sometimes local fire departments have carseat distribution programs. The dept I used to work at had one.

No. 337167

I'd never buy a used carseat cause you can't know for sure it's never been in an accident already.

No. 337331

I’m officially a mom now. A week ago, wife gave birth and we have a beautiful girl. I’m not gonna say her name here ofc, but she’s named after the flowers that were the theme of me and wife’s wedding
I love her so much it’s insane. She looks a lot like my wife, with skin tone, but she has both of our hair color. And surprise, we didn’t know this but the donor had a Heterochromia gene bc she has one eye color of wifes parents.
She’s been at home for a week and honestly, she’s such a good baby. She only wakes up for about 10 minutes to feed, then goes right back to sleep, even through night. Wife and I are so full of joy it’s insane. I love being a mom. I love babies. And I love my baby

No. 337395

>hears heartbeat on fetal doppler
>feel movement
>gets pregnancy tummy
>no periods and all other pregnancy symptoms
>negative tests

i feel crazy sometimes

No. 337458

Congrats, nona!

No. 337668

Heterochromia can be purely aesthetic but sometimes it is a symptom of a health condition. You should ask your doctor for more information to make sure your baby is healthy.


No. 337669

Heterochromia can be purely aesthetic but can also be a symptom of a health condition. You should ask your doctor for more information to make sure your baby is healthy.


No. 337670

Heterochromia can be purely aesthetic but sometimes it is a symptom of a health condition. You should ask your doctor for more information to make sure your baby is healthy.


No. 337781

If you are far enough along to feel movement you don't test positive on pregnancy tests anymore. At that point you have so much HCG that it actually overwhelms the test. Go to a doctor and get a blood test!

No. 338338

My partner drives me up the wall sometimes when he’s taking care of our baby. I’ll breastfeed her, then he’ll take her to change her nappy while I go for a shower, and by the time I come back downstairs he’s giving her a bottle. ‘She was hungry’ like hell she was! She either wanted to play and be entertained, or she was getting overtired and needed to be helped to sleep. And then I have to pump to make up the lost milk, which means by the time she wants to go back on the breast there’s very little milk and she just gets angry. Like please man, just spend 10 minutes making funny faces at her and telling her she’s a very smelly baby, she loves it.
And on a similar note, it is so clear he doesn’t see nursing as actually feeding the baby. We had to bottle feed formula and expressed milk at the start because she was too sleepy to nurse properly and my supply dipped quite a lot. So I spent weeks pumping, forcing her on the breast, eating all the right food, drinking all the right drinks, just to be able to nurse her and we finally got to that point! All for him to say ‘shall I give her a bottle’ when she cries after nursing. Pal, she cries for more than just hunger. She’s gassy as fuck. ‘We really need to give her a bottle at night.’ Why? I nurse her to sleep and she sleeps for 7 hours? What is the issue? Why do you want to wake her (and us) to force a bottle into her? Let us sleep!
This turned into way more of a rant than I intended, sorry nonas.

No. 338354

Has anyone tried Pumping Pals, Pumpables, LacTek, or any of the other "comfort flanges" on the market? Are they any good? Are they worth it? I only pump once a day right now, but it's not the most comfortable experience even with the correct flange size.
Congratulations nona! Enjoy your little family and all the precious moments! May your daughter have a lifetime of health and happiness!
I am upset on your behalf reading that, nona. It sounds like your husband has no understanding of the effort you put into feeding your daughter breastmilk. If you have any free visits left (you should have 6 a year if you are in the US, regardless of which insurance plan you have) you could try having a lactation consultant come by while your husband is home. This place https://lactationnetwork.com/ lets you input your insurance, location, and desired appointment times and matches you with a consultant. One thing they do is a weighted feed. Don't mess it up like I did and feed the baby right before the appointment (my issue wasn't intake level, but I was still curious to know how much she ate) because you want your husband to see that the baby is getting x ounces when you breastfeed. Usually a lactation consultant sends you to fill out an intake questionnaire asking what your concerns are, and I'd suggest telling her all of this.

No. 338363

I feel you. Not the same exact issues that you have, but the same general attitude of my husband just pisses me off. He thinks he knows everything better despite not doing any research whatsoever on parenting or babies while I have spent 10 months reading absolutely everything. So he will make dumb suggestions like "Just let her cry herself to sleep" at like a couple of weeks old and doesn't understand why I won't just let her cry and then tells me I am not allowed to be frustrated with the baby ever because I "won't even try his advice".

Whenever it's his time to watch the baby so I can shower or do chores he just plops infront of the TV and gets frustrated that this doesn't entertain the baby at all cause she is way too young to watch TV or he lets her sit in his lap at the computer and lets her smash his keyboard until she gets bored of doing that and starts crying. He puts the least amount of effort to entertain her possible so while I am doing stuff I am constantly hearing her cry and so I have to rush doing anything and am always stressed out.

Men are truly no help with a baby but they expect to be praised for doing anything at all like changing a diaper once a day. I know there are probably men out there that are different, but I don't know a single woman who doesn't have this exact experience.

No. 338410

How old is your baby? This would absolutely piss me off so much. Could you just tell him feeding is your sole responsibility from now on and he isn't to interfere. This is how me and my partner do it - my baby is EBF so he doesn't get a look in until we start weaning. He'll put the baby down for naps more and things like that so its a bit more balanced (though like another poster said nost duties fall to mum in the end)

No. 338444

I use pumping pals silicone flanges and I never use them. I also feel like my body is use to the normal flanges because my baby had a feeding tube most of her life and my breastfeeding journey has mostly just been pumping with those medela ones in the hospital

No. 338445

Woops I am 7 months preg

No. 338451

I found out a few days ago that my wife is pregnant, and I'm worrying way more than I thought I would. I think part of it is because we were caught off guard by this. When we had our test after the insemination, it came back negative, which felt absolutely crushing for us. We decided to put trying on hold until next year due to the emotional toll it was taking. Fast-forward just over a month and my wife has sensitive breasts, her emotions feel a bit off and she's getting unusual food cravings. We tested three times to be sure, and they all come back positive. As happy as I am, I just sank into this state of panic. That night we found out we were expecting, I had a nightmare that I was a penguin with an egg I had to protect. Everything around me was melting because of global warming and I had to get my egg somewhere safe, but in the end it broke. I woke up with my heart racing and tears in my eyes, having to explain this ridiculous dream to my wife. Since then there's just been an edge to everything. When I'm exercising, I'm pushing myself harder than usual because I'm obsessing about being healthy for my wife and baby. When I'm working on my business, I'm putting in more hours than normal because I'm focusing hard on long term planning, so they're both provided for should anything happen to me; even though I've already set up financial plans for that I'm still paranoid it's not enough. I'm overanalysing everything my wife does and asking her if she's ok probably a hundred times a day. Past couple nights I struggled to sleep and just watch her instead. This horrible survival instinct nagging away at me that if I fall asleep, something bad will happen and I'll lose them both. I should be jumping for joy, but instead I'm a total wreck. Is this normal? Will is subside after a while? I'm trying to distract myself and work on nutritious meals I can make for my wife as cooking relaxes me, but it's so hard to switch off.

No. 338452

Why did he even want kids

No. 338461

lol congratulations!

No. 338514

How long does the phase last where babies bite you constantly? My baby is 9 months and has been consistently teething since 4 months old and she now has 6 teeth and it hurts A LOT when she bites me, which is her absolute favorite thing to do. She also pinches me, kicks me, scratches me, grabs onto my hair, skin, nose, lips and pulls really hard and stabs her fingers into my nostrils and eyeballs. Every time I take her hand and I firmly say "Ouch! Don't bite/pinch/scratch mommy. That hurts!" But she doesn't stop. I am literally covered in bruises like I am a domestic violence victim. I just want this to end.

No. 339158

A few days ago me and my bf were snuggling in bed, he took a huge sniff in my neck and said it smelled "like a baby". Took a test today and I am indeed pregnant. We don't exactly have all our shit together, but we're both 28, and I never wanted to be a 30 + yrs old first mom I also just don't feel like terminating, can't wait to meet my baby !

No. 339160

Spank her?

No. 339162

>Spanking a 9 months baby
Are you mentally ill by any chance?

No. 339163

I don’t have children, but I think maybe giving her something else to help her satisfy her needs of biting, scratching and pulling could work? Like a toy or something. Or maybe find a way to make her get tired like lots of games, reading sessions, baby gym.
I don’t know, I just think she may be bored or tired and that doing those things like kicking you or pinching you are a way for her to distract herself because she gets a reaction out of you.

No. 339164

And this is why you take everything itt with a grain of salt because a literal 12 year old, mentally challenged retard or whoever else who doesn't even have a kid could be advising you.

No. 339165

I am sorry anon but this post is making me laugh kek. I second the anon who said to distract her and keep her busy.

No. 339167

That's what I do AAAALLLLL DAY, but she will drop any toy or teether I give her and go straight to biting me again. We literally have spend hundreds of dollars on toys and teethers that will keep her busy for 2 minutes at most and I spend 24 hours a day taking care of her and entertaining her every waking second.

No. 339173

Give her a drumstick/beef rib to chew on.

No. 339179

That is a choking hazzard.

No. 339183

It is? Nta but where I'm from people give babies bones to chew on all the time kek

No. 339189

The bone can splinter and get stuck in their throat. Especially chicken bones. That's really not safe at all.

No. 339191

When I was a kid pig ears worked great for our golden retriever

No. 339205

I feel like if the bone is thick enough it should be fine. Like a chicken drumstick bone. Idk, I'm not trying to disagree it's just what I've seen my whole life.

No. 339216

Has anyone else had experience with sudden moles/freckles on their breasts during pregnancy? With my first pregnancy I suddenly got three small moles (definitely moles) under my left nipple. Took forever to notice because of the placement, but they were ultimately fine. I’m on my second pregnancy now and just recently had a black raised freckle appear on my areola. Has this happened to anyone else, or am I just going to have to resign myself to get a chunk of my nipple sliced off for a fucking biopsy? Of course when I try to google for any information at all, the only thing that shows up is about 100 pages of melanoma scaremongering.

No. 339228

Its a baby, not a dog. A baby cant chew through a chicken thigh bone. A chicken bone is unsafe for a dog bc it can crush it up, a big leg bone with the little bone removed is safe and has been done for centuries.

No. 339229

No. 339251

Lol I knew that not everyone does it but didn't realize it would be weird to some people.

No. 339305

whats yalls favorite baby names?? rn sonya is top of my list for female names ,and veronica. im blanking on boy names tho

No. 339375

We’ve landed on Margaret (Maggie) for a girl but cannot agree on a boy’s name. I prefer more “classic” names and have suggested William, Daniel, Oliver… I want a nice name that has at least one nickname with it. We’re not finding out the gender and I feel more strongly it’s a girl, so I’m sort of just hoping we don’t need a boy name this time around lol.

No. 339376

File: 1688830766862.jpeg (241.89 KB, 640x427, BF6A8718-6C01-4A01-863A-622981…)

Got my first big item - Babybay co-sleeper bassinet. I really wanna set it up to see how it looks but I’m not due til mid-November so it’ll just be in our 1 bedroom apartment taking our space for 4 months kek.

No. 339432

Say NO that hurts mommy, set her down somewhere safe and walk away for a few minutes.
She'll get it.
You're doing too much for her, you're not a clown you're her mother. She will learn to explore and play on her own.
That is so upsetting I'm sorry nonna, overfeeding a baby can be really bad for them!
Might as well leave her in a bouncer or swing at that point he is more useless than a machine
congrats nonnie!
That's… for dogs

No. 339435

I love the name Margaret. Maggie is such a cute nickname! My girls name if I ever have one is Mary, but I’ve considered Margaret too. Never thought of the nickname, it’s so so cute ahh. Good luck on finding a boys name!

No. 339640

Sorry if this is the wrong thread but I’m paranoid and wanted some advice from some more experienced women. Is it retarded that I’m worried I’m pregnant even though I’m literally on my period right now? My boyfriend and I had sex a few times for the first time last month and each time we used protection but since we were both virgins with not much experience putting on condoms and I’m not on hbc, I’m so paranoid something went wrong kek. I started bleeding 28 days after the start of my last period so it came right on time within my usual cycle length but it’s not as heavy as it normally is and I’m not cramping as much. The logical part of me wants to attribute that to the fact that I’m actually exercising for the first time in my life and losing some weight but the paranoid part of me is thinking it’s implantation bleeding or something. I only started bleeding last night and I know stress (like stressing about being pregnant kek) and weight changes can also cause changes to your cycle, but I think part of why I’m so paranoid is I’m in a state where you have to get an abortion before week 6 of pregnancy so I really want to be proactive in recognizing any signs of pregnancy. We did have protected sex twice about 5-6 days before presumed ovulation and then again twice about a week and a half after presumed ovulation. I haven’t been temping to know for sure when ovulation is, just basing it off of cervical fluid. Logically, I know I’m being retarded as fuck since the chances of it happening are so so low and probably almost impossible based on all these factors, but since I’m so new to this and all my friends are either gay or on hbc, it would really help to hear that from women who have experience with this and know what to look for lol. I hope everyone’s pregnancies are going well and that your little ones are happy and healthy!

No. 340138

Highly unlikely that you're pregnant nonnie.
However if this is going to be a constant worry for you, you should buy a big box of pregnancy tests on amazon.
If you're doing condoms and NFP its VERY unlikely you're pregnant.

No. 340151

If the blood is red then it's not implantation bleeding. You can buy a whole box of really cheap pregnancy tests on Amazon from the easy@home brand. They dont come in a nice plastic stick but thats what they use in doctors offices and you get like 50 of them for a couple of bucks. Cheap piece of mind to have around.

No. 340468

I hate that my baby sees me at my best and worst when I’m home alone with her all day every day, and only sees her dad at his best because he’s never overstimulated and tired from constantly juggling naps/feeding/playing/changing/etc. He goes to work but we literally work in the same place and it’s the most laid back little local shop so I know he spends most of the day just hanging out at the till and reading a book; then when he comes home he’ll make dinner for us both which is nice but it means I’m stuck holding our little velcro baby all morning, afternoon, and evening. It just makes me so sad knowing that he’s always going to seem like the fun parent because he’s always well rested, always has time to eat and drink enough, always able to leave the house and do whatever he wants without a second thought.

No. 340478

Having a baby has just solidified that men are the weaker sex. I carried this baby for 9 months, went through a brutal labour to birth her, and now here I am 3 months later managing to juggle her and everything else that needs to be done; all while he can’t figure out how to make a cup of coffee while holding her. I carry her for hours every day while going about my day, and he can’t even hold her for an hour to help her nap because it hurts his arms. Men are so inferior.

No. 340479

>because it hurts his arms
He's lying.

No. 340486

Tell him it’s hurting his arms because he never does and isn’t that so sad? Doesn’t he want the kind of muscle strength that comes from holding his infant daughter? Alternatively if he isn’t violent you could try the whole “sweetheart a man your age should be able to hold an infant, maybe you should do some strength training?” Either way it’s an excuse, the more he does it the easier it will become… unless he is physically disabled or unwell?

No. 340487

Anon please look up weaponized incompetence. That's exactly what he's doing to you. As much as it sucks to say, even teenage boys are stronger than you are, so he's lying out of his ass when he says it hurts. Unless he has health issues it's simply not possible he can't hold a baby for an hour, it's not possible. Partnered men everywhere use weaponized incompetence to get out of parental tasks and household chores, now you know what it is you don't have to fall victim to it like so many other women.

No. 340488

Does anyone havs recommendations for communities where expecting mothers and new mothers discuss all that is pregnancy and child rearing? I’m planning to get pregnant and it would be nice to see what others have gone through and are going through. Obviously a community that doesn’t center gender nonsense would be ideal but I understand that’s difficult in current times.

No. 340503

are you looking for mumsnet?

No. 340513

Listen to these nonas, >>340138 >>340151
Pregnancy tests are held to federal standards, so even if they're the shitty fifty cent ones, they'll still work.

No. 340530

Something like mumsnet but US centric, most of what I’ve found seems steeped in politics.

No. 340576

you could try the groups/communities on pregnancy apps like Flo and Glow Nuture. they’re not solely US based, i don’t think, but they’re less judgey than facebook moms.

No. 340745

Thanks nonas! Immediately after I posted this I started experiencing period symptoms way more like my usual period, worse cramps, heavier bleeding etc. I also read up more about implantation bleeding and saw that it didn’t even look close to my blood on the first day, mine was way heavier so I really was just being retarded. I also took a test after my period ended to be absolutely sure and it was, predictably, negative. I think safely getting through one cycle makes me feel a lot better and way less paranoid but I will definitely look into those Amazon tests. Thanks for your responses!

No. 340960

File: 1689820017790.jpg (131.95 KB, 1500x1000, GettyImages-1297995956-2000-65…)

I might be pregnant again, had a super duper faint line on a test this morning. It might have just been an indent, but I feel super bloated and have had some weird cramps the past couple of days. I am still breastfeeding my 10 month old so I don't have my period back yet so no clue really. We've obviously not been preventing it from happening and I would be happy to be pregnant again since I want more kids and am over 30 already so I don't really have the time to wait too long im between.

Thinking of how to tell my husband, I know he will be super happy about it so I might get an outfit for our daughter that says "big sister" on it. Hope its gonna be a girl again!

No. 341102

Congrats nonnie that's super cute.
You can definitely get pregnant before your first period, it happened to me too.
The big sister tshirt is an adorable idea though it may take him a minute to get it lol

No. 341114

Thank you! I took another test this morning and it was stark white and now I am super confused lol. I guess it was just an indent (the First Response tests used to be so good, wtf happened???) but I still feel soooo pregnant. I guess it's just hormones going wild and making me go nuts.

No. 341325

Any nonas in here have twins? My wife thinks we're having twins as she's way more hungry and fatigued than what we've been told to expect, and also showing quite prominently for 11 weeks. We did reciprocal IVF though, and as my mother always cursed me for being a hungry baby and making her gain weight (I was 10lbs and tall for a newborn) I figured it could just be my genes? Idk. We're first time mothers so this is kinda mystifying. Should get our appointment for the first scan in the next two weeks and find out either way. I just don't know what to expect.

No. 341790

I had preemie twins and it was exhausting and I didn't get hunger until I was breastfeeding. I was ravenous when breastfeeding twins

No. 341807

Walter (Wally), Frederick (Freddy), Zachary (Zack), Simon (Sy), Gregory (Greg), Archibald (Archie), Arthur (Art), Alfred (Alfie), Abraham (Abe)

No. 341868

Yeah, my wife is really wiped out atm. I was worried she was ill, but she got the all clear from the doctor who told her it was the effects of the pregnancy. Did you have a feeling that you were expecting twins before your first scan? Nearly everywhere I look online seems to mention that a lot of women just have this intuitive feeling that they're carrying twins, which is how my wife feels. Luckily, we were planning on having 2-3 kids anyway. I just wasn't expecting it to play out like this.

No. 341898

I'm an over 30 here interested in having a baby. How was your experience?

I live in an area where everyone has babies young and people keep telling me how hard it'll be for me, so I'm nervous. I really want children though.

I just wanted your feelings as an over 30 with their first baby!

No. 342030

Another mom over 30 here. The pregnancy is going very well so far. I am in the second trimester and the baby looks healthy as can be. All my unpleasant symptoms have been mild and I get bursts of euphoria when I feel him move.

10/10 experience, would recommend.

No. 342100

Thank you, nona. This gives me a lot of hope. I wasn't sure I wanted kids but the past year I've been having these reoccurring dreams about the same son and daughter, and waking up feeling heart broken they aren't real. My husband wants children too and I feel like we're in a place where we could give a child a good life. My only fear has been my age but I'm happy it isn't a huge problem.
Gonna talk to a doctor about it this week, wish me luck!

No. 342325

30 is an extremely normal age to have. Child and the most fertile age range with the best birth outcomes is 25-35 you'll be okay nonnie

No. 342441

File: 1690591586265.jpg (362.3 KB, 1000x725, shutterstock_546641992.jpg)

Why does no one ever talk about how good it feels to have a little fetus wiggling in your belly? It's like an internal massage. Elon Musk needs to make robotic fetus implants for women who aren't pregnant so they can get belly rubs all the time.

No. 342578

I always thought it felt so funny, like butterfly kisses from the inside

No. 342580


these have quite a few toys that are great and high quality. I got one from them that has no synthetic materials, no polyester! Organic cotton around lambwool filling.

No. 342599

The best feeling in the world. I can't wait until my baby is in active mode in the morning and evening and is wriggling and kicking like crazy. During my anatomy scan he was very active and I got an adorable video of him stretching and kicking the shit out of my uterus lol. Crazy how you can even see the movements when looking at your stomach at such a relatively early stage.

No. 342776

The audacity of men never fails to amaze me. For the past week, my baby has been screaming in pain at various times throughout the day, peaking at bedtime every night. My boyfriend works during the day so he never saw it until she had her evening burst and every day he would tell me ‘she’s just teething’ ‘it’s probably growing pains’ ‘she’s just tired’. And every day I would say ‘this is NOT normal, I’m going to phone the doctor’ and he would just dismiss it as just a general baby thing. I said that it seemed like she had painful reflux - arching her back, screaming in pain, painful spit up, loads of gas, crying while feeding. I started venting to my own mum and would send videos of my baby crying and my mum even said I should phone the doctor. So I phoned today and the doctor asked us to come in this afternoon to give the baby a quick check. The doctor said ‘we can both agree it seems like acid reflux’, prescribed reflux meds and literally after ONE dose, it was like I had a completely different baby. She still fussed a little but there has been NO screaming, no back arching, no painful spit up. Now my absolute nightmare of a boyfriend has spent the whole day claiming that ‘WE’ both knew it was reflux since she was spitting up and arching her back so badly and it took all my strength to not just slap that man. There was no ‘we’ in this, it was all me (with a little encouragement from my own mother). There’s no point to this story other than venting and to say that you should trust your motherly instincts because men will never understand what it’s like.

No. 342777

That's infuriating and I hope you either dump him or set the bar much higher so he knows he can't get away with treating you and your baby this way. What if it had been something more serious? The least he can do is apologize and promise not to dismiss you in the future. Every single woman I know who's had/raised a child with a man like this ended up saying she "had to raise two kids" because they are so useless. They forget to feed the children, act like they don't know how to bathe them, can't remember what grade they're in, are clueless about their medical history, shoo them away when they have health issues, and just are not good co-parents and make the mothers even more miserable than they'd be if they were single. I'm really glad your baby is feeling better though and it wasn't anything more serious! Good on your for trusting your instincts, idk why men act like you can't be trusted to know your own baby.

No. 342788

This reads like a moid with a pregnancy fetish. Kicks hurt especially if you're a small woman with a big baby, it feels like the worst gas pains of your life and they're active when you're trying to sleep

No. 342799

Yeah I agree. I guess from a purely psychological side it is nice to know your baby is growing and active and healthy inside you, but it definitely doesn't feel good physically and more often than not hurts and is uncomfortable. I think it's a moid also, there is zero "massaging" going on from a baby kicking you in the cervix or ribs.

No. 343804

absolutely written by a scrote or tranny kek

No. 344062

You should set it up to make sure no parts are missing. This is a good task to have your partner do.
That can be a hard feeling, but I can just about guarantee that you are her favorite parent.
Sounds like a troon to me.

No. 344163

Anons - does your previous baby learning to walk mean you're going to get pregnant soon??

My first is learning to walk and we've been trying for a second for months,I am constantly getting these weird pregnancy omens and the other night my waitress (we live in the country and this was a typical rural 24 hr diner) that because my first was learning to walk she was making room for our second and kept looking at my stomach. I have pregnancy dreams almost every night and I keep getting those weird TikTok "predictions" (yeah I know it's stupid) for August 19… My obgyn appointment is August 18… I had sex and ovulated not too long ago either. August 19 is definitely been giving me a weird feeling though

Will keep everyone updated

No. 344174

i have heard that when your kid starts bending over and looking at you from between their legs (like the downward dog position) it’s a sign that you’re pregnant. i’ve never heard the walking thing though.

No. 344182

Are you still breastfeeding? I think this is probably something people say because around 1 year old is when children start walking and also weaning off the boob. When your baby is weaned your hormones return to normal and you can ovulate again.

No. 344187

My baby wasn’t well for a while and we recently started a new medication and she’s like a completely different baby. She’s happy and smiley, she was playing today and happy to just lie there and watch the world go by. It’s been weeks since I’ve been able to set her down without her being in pain, but today I was able to set her down and shower while she just smiled and wiggled on the ground like a little worm. I feel so relieved and excited now for the days ahead because she’s finally comfortable and happy!

No. 344200

What is the medication?

No. 344201

That is so nice anon, congratulations!

No. 344344

Successfully potty trained my toddler and got him signed up for soccer and headstart! Can I just say I love this stage of childhood, don’t get me wrong I loved the baby era but I love to chat with him and play with him and seeing him gain independence gives me so much pride, what a smart little guy!

No. 344422

can you explain your potty training method? i feel like my daughter is ready but i have no idea how to even start.

No. 344498

Why does sex hurt during pregnancy and can I even do anything about it? In the first trimester sex was amazing for me but halfway through the second trimester things went to shit. My drive is down to zero so its really difficult to get into it. Nearly everything is a turn off and basically nothing works as a turn on. Even after a lot of foreplay, when we get to PIV it at best feels uncomfortable and at worst is painful. Like PIV if you're not lubed up enough, except you are. My husband is very understanding and doesn't push me at all to do anything and said its probably just a time in our lives where this isn't a focus at all and will need to take a break. But I miss this level of intimacy so much and don't want it out of my life for the remainder of the pregnancy, especially because we probably won't be doing anything for a few months post partum.

No. 344499

I just started out by making him wear undies during the day and having him sit on the toilet every now and then (every 35 mins) he was scared of the toilet entirely and hated the way underwear felt when I first tried this so I let him wear diapers for a little longer like a week and then I tried again. in the meantime I took him with me to the restroom and had him watch his dad use the restroom, and just have him get used to the restroom and the sound of the toilet flushing. I tried again with Wearing undies and plopping him on the toilet every now and then he had some successes but I wasn’t sure if it was controlled because he also had accidents, I’d say like 7 pee accidents before he was able to tell me he when had to go to the restroom, I was suggested to let him wear underwear or no bottoms so he could get the sensation that he was having an accident, that peeing and pooping wherever in a diaper was no longer an option. Pooping in the potty was a little trickier to teach, he didn’t poop for 2 days so I put him back into a diaper and he immediately pooped, he told me he was scared to poop but not pee in the toilet. after that I had him back in underwear and he would tell me he needed to go potty and pee in the toilet but a day later he pooped his pants. I was really considering letting him wear diapers again for a little bit. But it was only one poopy accident and he learned from it and now he tells me when he has to pee and poop and it’s really great. my advice is to just be ready for accidents and if she doesn’t seem ready like she seems scared or just refuses you can have her in diapers for a little bit again, it took a little over a month to get him fully trained. Have her pick out underwear of characters she likes and have her try them on. Make it sound as exciting as possible. Best of luck anon, I hear girls are actually easier to train than boys so this should be a doozy!

No. 344741

This may be the wrong place - but I’m 6 weeks pregnant and opted for medication abortion. I took the first pill yesterday, was having second thoughts but did it anyways. I’m feeling regretful now - if I don’t take the remaining pills that actually expel the fetus, will it live?

No. 344761

It may survive with severe disability/damage. Take the remaining pills.

No. 344773

Consult a doctor, anons here can't give a clear answer.

No. 344800

my baby girl just turned one month old and i’m so happy. but having a newborn is so hard and i’m over it lmao. idk how single moms do it

No. 344866

Happened to me and when I was sideways it felt way better. Your cervix gets lower I think during pregnancy so it feels more uncomfortable especially during positions that penetrate deeply like doggy

No. 344867

Are you the anon from a while ago with the super fussy baby?

No. 345051

Lol awww don’t worry anon the little baby days go by really fast

No. 345194

Any anons thinking about homeschooling in America? So tired of school shootings but I'm nervous I won't have time for it. How does one even make enough money to be a mom and teacher full time? Is affiliate marketing a good idea?

No. 345612

Yes, I’m considering homeschool too. I used to be a teacher in my local school district, and it’s honestly so bleak and horrifying I can’t imagine sending my child there. The crime rates are high, literacy rates falling, discipline waning because basically the district doesn’t want parents to know how bad it really is so kids get away with EVERYTHING but murder and sexual assault. Kids are free to throw desks, threaten others students and sell drugs and there’s a “no kids left behind” policy that changed 0/Fs to 50s/Ds so the school doesn’t get taken over by the federal government I guess?? Anyway, there were students in my class who couldn’t even speak English and were straight D students but as long as they had a translator on their laptop and cheated off of other students they kept getting pushed right along to the next grade. I can’t imagine my child going to a school like the ones I had to attend as a child or teach at but could never afford to send him to a private school, either. We barely make enough for me to stay home now and I assume it’s only going to get harder, but I cannot put my child in public school here. We’ve considered moving to a better state with an area that has better schools and offers public-charter options when he’s older. In the meantime, I’m getting a professional certificate online and trying to study up in UX/UI so that maybe I can get an internship or apprenticeship someday that could result in a hybrid job, or at least a job that pays enough for me to get my kid into a better district/ school. It’s stressful as hell but if I choose to homeschool we probably can’t afford anymore kids and I’d really like at least one more. Your concerns are definitely valid though- I guarantee your local district manipulates the publics view of how bad it really is and gaslights parents. They also probably hire pedophiles and are willing to cover up any weird shit that goes on unless the local police get involved. I’ve seen it multiple times. They don’t pay well enough to have actual professionals working for them most of the time, especially since the job includes so much “classroom management” lol aka being a glorified correction officer. All of that said, I live in one of the worst states education wise and in an area with high gang activity. If you look at your local crime and literacy rates you can determine if you live in an area you’d feel safe sending your child to school. Some schools in your district will be better than others, I’d find those schools and try to move to those zip codes if you do send your kid to public school. Sorry for the long response!

No. 345681

Has anyone gotten pelvic floor therapy postpartum? What happens during a session and does it help. I peed a little when I sneezed and I'm freaking out.

No. 345689

Not american but I want to home school, too bad its practically illegal in my country and my kids would get taken away. I just remember not learning anything in school bc it was very easy and most of the teachers weren't intelligent or engaging, and just having to sit a desk for hours. I would have learned more if I could have been at the library instead of class. So I'd love if my kids could actually spend their time productively and learn life skills too, school is just day care for older kids.

No. 345704

You should talk to adults who were homeschooled before you decide to homeschool. It’s a real grass-is-greener situation and it can do a lot of harm even if you have great intentions. I would personally never homeschool because of the severe social isolation it inflicts on children.

No. 345715

Micro-schooling is a better option, but honestly you can still socialize your kids by putting them in sports and other communal activities.

No. 345724

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but once a month, maybe for a week, I become obsessed with pregnancy and all things baby. I usually am not really good with kids, but I’m polite, and try to be understanding, but I just never really want one myself. Plus I’m a lesbian, so even if I was dating, my partner wouldn’t have the right parts to get me pregnant anyways.

But when this baby week comes along, it’s all I can think of. I think about being a mother. I think about babies. I think about the amount of love I’d have for this new human being whos completely reliant on me, this life that I helped create, and how it’ll be hard, but worth it. I literally dream of giving birth to a baby girl, and holding her with my dream wife and raising her together, watching her grow into a beautiful young woman.

This part is kinda depressing, i was raped at 13 and got pregnant, my mom is against abortion, so I carried my daughter to 4 months before my body couldn’t handle it and I miscarried. I can’t help but wonder if I was older, more mature, with financial stability and less trauma in conception, would I have been a good mother? If it worked, my daughter would be 9 years old. I guess sometimes my brain mourns her and fixates on what it would be like if she lived and I had my daughter today.

Auuugh I’m in baby week right now and I’m looking up fertility clinics. I know it’s stupid because I can’t have a baby now, but a girl can dream sadface

No. 345728

My baby just turned 12 months. Today we went to a local farm and she got to tend to some animals. She loves brushing our dog, so it was nice to see her be super gentle and brush and feed some goats. She was so interested in all of the animals, and learned was able to recognize and babble a lot of animal names.I feel so happy with my life. my husband took a whole week off of work for her birthday and we just stayed cozy together and did so many fun things. I want another one, but I also want to treasure these moments and let her have my full attention for as long as possible. She is such a gentle and smart soul. It is amazing seeing your child bloom.

No. 345729

Nothing is wrong with how you feel, most people dream about having a kid with their ideal partner and even as a lesbian you can still achieve that. I'm really sorry for your traumatic experience, please don't blame yourself for it and try not to say "what if", I'm a med student and first thing you learn is that babies who are miscarried are often not viable, they're the babies that'd have died in the first hours or days of the birth.
I hope you'll have a perfect partner and a perfect baby in the future, don't lose hope and never blame yourself for a situation you had no control over.
Homeschooling is a bad idea. Children should interact with their peers and socialize with them for the ideal behavioral development. Most people who were home schooled say it left them stunted both intellectually and socially

No. 345749

To offer some perspective: homeschooling is not allowed or heavily restricted in large parts of Europe because parents generally aren't capable of providing adequate education (amongst other reasons). Professional teaching requires 4 years of full-time education for a reason.

No. 345765

I've never met anyone who is/was micro-schooled, It sounds like it would be better but I don't know. Sports are not enough for socializing but it's better than nothing. You have to consider who you're socializing your children with – other homeschool kids? (I think that's usually called a "homeschool pod") if those are your children's friends you can't control their ages (always very mismatched with much older and younger kids grouped together.) Or maybe you're socializing them with "regular" kids in which case your child is going to feel like a serious outsider and have trouble relating even if they are a happy and outgoing type (it's often described as feeling like a "third-culture kid", which they kind of are.) Then they have to grow up and operate in the same world as everyone else but they have this completely different childhood, not to mention if they want to pursue a degree they literally have to learn how to go to school at 18 which is a nightmare lol
Sorry to derail, I'm really interested in this topic but that's probably more than I should have written.

No. 345772

is being ''one and done'' really all that bad? having grown up with a plethora of siblings ive always envied the only kid life , lol. one and done would entail having basically all of your focus and resources on a singular kid.. which is better for them , imo. they can socialize and learn sharing/etc with other kids when playing/at school/sports etc. maybe its just a case of grass being greener on the other side

No. 345776

If you have deep trust and knowledge in your parenting skills it's fine. Personally most only child families I met have somehow managed to breed the cringiest people alive

No. 345778

>somehow managed to breed the cringiest people alive
It's the combination helicopter parenting and not having to share.

No. 346523

It's really not, one of the worst thing about having siblings is how transparents parents are with their favoritisms.

In my experience only child have an easier time sharing because they don't have the scarcity mentality of kids with siblings who can't have any personal belongings (they always HAVE to share even their absolute favorite things).

No. 346524

Took over two years, but we're finally pregnant again. I found out in the most bizarre way by testing positive before a colonscopy… I've suffered one early miscarriage since the birth of our daughter, that was two years ago. I'm so fucking scared I'm going to lose this one too. Just made it to week six, first ultrasound is on friday… my emotions are all over the place. Apparently inflammation from RA was interfering with the implantation process… I have no idea how many failed implantations we've had as a result. I try not to think about it. My labs in June finally came back normal and what do you know, I got knocked up in July. All anxiety aside I am elated, trying not to get too excited but it's so hard.

Has anynonny dealt with an autoimmune illness while pregnant ot be in the same boat? I'd love some advice. In the meantime I'm baking clafoutis and hoping that deliciousness will calm my nerves kek. Oh and when the surgeon told me the good news I burst into tears like a psycho. My mom had to hold me while she explained it's been a hard road to get pregnant and I wasn't expecting that news.

No. 346784

Anyone here had a donor-conceived child? How’d it go? Did they inherit something the donor did not disclose? Have they met the donor or siblings, if not - are they curious about them?

No. 346997

What's with this uptick of moms claiming to have zero labor or postpartum pains and that their baby was perfect? I had a lady make multiple accounts to scream at me because I told her I didn't believe she had zero labor and postpartum pains for all 4 kids and that her babies never cried. For reference, it was under a post about how it's okay for dads to spend hours in the bathroom and I mentioned how hard and impossible it would be for a new mom dealing with postpartum pains and/or multiple kids

No. 347000

I think it's the natural response to women feeling more comfortable to talk about how horrible and terrible and traumatizing birth was for them (and not believing that anyone could have any different). In response, women who's hormones worked as intended and erased the pain after the fact get indignant and have to humble brag. Basically it's just retards shitflinging. Have you been scrolling comments sections on instagram recently or something kek

No. 347001

kek no. I used to work in L&D and saw women on all fours acting like they needed an exorcism and claiming they had no pain after. It's possible but very rare and a woman having no pain with all 4 kids and perfect babies? not a chance. It's either women giving into the unrealistic expectations for moms in today's world, women trying to straight up lie to get on the side of moids with breeder fetish, or just moids trying to silence women when expected to push their side of the bargain to help out

No. 347617

Did anyone feel that you are pregnant right after you were impregnated ?

No. 347635

> saw women on all fours acting like they needed an exorcism and claiming they had no pain after.
Does that really happen? I know it’s common to kinda forget the pain and only remember the overwhelming joy and stuff but I didn’t know it was possible to totally forget it

No. 348156

I'm pretty sure my moid doctor gave me the husband stitch then claimed I "over-healed", I had to get "clipped" multiples times because I kept closing up and they said I overhealed, is this a thing or are they covering up for moid obgyn?

No. 348203

How does one deal with a circus? I have a family of 5 and just getting out the house and doing a quick grocery run seems like a whole show

No. 348204

>didn’t know it was possible to totally forget it
They didn't forget. There's a small but very loud minority of women who want to make sure everyone knows how good they are at being pregnant and child birth. I don't even understand what the end motive is, like they're trying to impress king Henry or something? Weirdly enough women I knew who had easy and good birth experiences often don't talk about it much unless it comes up, nevermind trying to insert themselves into any conversation of women talking about how hard birth is with "it was so easy I didn't feel anything, didnt tear, and pushed 4 big male babies out right on the due date teehee"

No. 348209

over-healed sounds like moid bullshit. More like they stitched you up a little more "just to be sure".
Unless he meant excessive scarring, which is not unimaginable. My Ob did a pretty terrible job when stiching me up, resulting in a patch of inflexible scarring right by the entrance of my vagina. It burned eveeytime I had sex but the OB said I was probably just not wet enough and gave me some bs cream. I finally had it removed by a different gyno and after healing I'm now pain free

No. 348607

they gave me estrogen cream "to relax it" but I got clipped multiple times, it is literally closing up constantly. Everytime I try to tell a new doc about it they treat me like I'm crazy but I know it's not scar tissue or anything

No. 348609

Mrs.Midwest was like this until months later she revealed fertility issues + birth trauma that ended with a planned c section for her second. I actually respect her for self-growth instead of just trying to appeal to tradthots

No. 348962

Anon how can I manage homeschooling while being in college myself? I only take a few classes each semester but am going to med school soon

No. 348982

I'm 31, single, just barely starting a career and I still want a family. I had two very traumatic relationships - got attractive and dropped out before I picked myself up. I wish I was rich enough to just get a sperm donor and be done with it, but man. I just want to get married and have a kid.

No. 349102

Sperm donations aren't that much anon. I knew middle and lower class lesbians that got them. Although you shouldn't get pregnant unless you know for fact you have friends or family willing to help out postpartum. Being completely alone postpartum can be dangerous due to complications+ blood sugar fainting from breastfeeding, not to mention if you need to go to the hospital (can happen a lot to newborns) it is not safe to go while you're freshly ripped

No. 349113

File: 1695028837956.jpg (18.8 KB, 410x263, amazingdrawing.jpg)

When you say 'clipped' do you mean they just give you a little cut and that's it? No stitches? If that's the case then I'm not surprised you heal up just as tight as before
In my case the gyno removed a small crescent of tissue, then stitched the edges of the skin together. Made a drawing to illustrate, pls don't laugh. The bit that was removed didn't actually look like scarring (to me), but my gyno noticed it was very inflexible. So although removing it made my perineum slightly smaller, overall it became much more stretchy again.

No. 349213


Sorry for being 2 months late, I’ve barely had time to do anything. We did end up going to the doctor to check if her eyes are gonna be an issue, they couldn’t find anything wrong. They mentioned that the lighter one might change to match the darker one, and it did darken, but to a darker blue rather than brown.

My wife recently asked me if I’d be willing to take medication to induce lactation, cause she’s worn the fuck out from nursing. Our baby is the hungriest baby ever, she’ll just keep drinking for 2-3 hours until she either falls asleep or my wife physically can’t take it anymore. This is switching breasts too. Doctor says nothing is wrong with her, she’s just a hungry baby

Anyways, back to lactation meds, cause I do wanna help her out, and we’re both women and capable of producing milk. Anyone know any supplements to induce milk wothout pregnancy? Ik this is a unique problem

No. 349231

Domperidone is the most common milk inducing medication

No. 349234

You would need medications from a doctor to induce lactation, and they don't give those out easily in my experience. I was going nuts and not able to produce enough milk (probably stress, in retrospect) and they refused to give me any medicine to help with milk supply because they had a lot of risk factors.

No. 349257

Are you in America? The formula industry made it impossible to get any sort of lactation medication in America claiming it's dangerous but you can order them online from Canada or Europe

No. 349417

Has anyone had any experience with down payment assistant programs? Do they actually work?

No. 349500

can I vote this for the stupidest anon on the lolcow rewards?

No. 349752

If the risk is acceptable to you, you could acquire it from an online seller. The adult lactation fetish subreddit is sadly the most up to date place to find sellers.

No. 349760

It depends on ages, but lots of snacks, making sure everyone has a place on the shopping cart (or whatever) and packing a bag ahead of time helps.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula and you both shouldn't be killing yourself trying to lactate for the baby.
Your wife probably needs to eat better and sleep

No. 349761

Also try to give that baby a paci and your wife can unlatch the baby if she's not swallowing anymore.

No. 349954

Anon why would you even know or do that? Also there's Facebook groups called human milk for human babies, women give out milk to babies for free

Delete Post [ ]
[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Server Status ]