File: 1674521987193.jpg (2.49 MB, 3923x5884, Baby Q&A.jpg)
No. 310088
Discuss family planning, birth, pregnancy, conception, fertility, and any other baby-related topic in this thread.
Refrain from posting if you dislike children or are childfree.Old threads
>>>/g/212315>>>/g/49996 No. 310124
>>310091Same except I'm 30. I've been with my bf for 4 years and we absolutely can't afford a kid. I don't see how we could make it work at this point. My
abusive ex didn't want kids at all, so from that relationship I already kind of resigned myself to the possibility of it never happening… But sometimes it makes me so depressed I just cry. If this doesn't happen for me I know I will mourn it in my later years.
No. 310149
>>310091I'm 30 and planning to become a mother in 3 years, it's definitely difficult. I'm trying to adjust my life to make it easier for me when the time does come around to getting pregnant. My bf and I are making it an effort to start a savings fund. I've been fucked over hardcore for not having credit and I'm currently finding myself penny pinching as someone who makes about $10 more than liveable wage. I don't have a college degree, but this was a career I started in 7 years ago and getting out of it when I have a child is going to reduce my funds. I know I can't reach out for government assistance, that's a trap and will fuck me over. I can only think of passive income, I'm figuring out what I can start doing now and build up from there.
My best friend also wants to become a mother and she wants to so badly not work at all and it upsets me because it doesn't seem realistic and it's going to disappoint her. Like, I've discussed this with my bf and he says the nuclear family structure doesn't exist. Corporations and the government make it impossible for a single source of income to uphold a family. You have to be lucky to make more than $25+ an hour by yourself. The majority of people in my country can barely make $15 and on top of that less than 1/3 of my countries population has a college degree, and don't get me started on paying off debt from people who've completed AND attempted but dropped out of higher education.
I turn into an anarchist when thinking about becoming a mother, the government doesn't want us to have children, they hate children because they're deemed nonproductive members of society. School sets children up to get used to the corporate world and it's meaningless hoops instead of learning to live independently and sustain a healthy and less stressful life. Young adults now just turn to expensive services to do simple things for them because they were never taught and it's too scary and stressful for them to learn how to do these things now or they simply don't realize it's possible to do it by yourself or they don't have the time because of the corporate world. Many parents can't be there for their children because of funds. They send them off to daycare facilities and right there majority of one of your paychecks is gone. It's such a trap. The world we live in doesn't welcome children and allow them to be raised by their parents, only strangers. This is why I'm working so hard now, because I want to see my children, I want to be there. I want my bf to be there too. I want to homeschool them and teach them they can achieve many things using the tools of their own bodies. I want to give them beautiful memories of the outdoors and having time spent with my and my bf and their friends and family. I don't want them to be sucked into this corporate world filled with debt and no time for leisure. It's misrable. Truthfully, I can't change everything around me, but I want to have my child to also hold hope and have optimism for the world around them.
No. 310206
>>310149Agree 100%, especially with the last paragraph. It is truly sickening. In about 40 years there will be a panic about our aging population (in the US at least) just like there was in Japan. It's completely preventable but they will do nothing to improve matters.
My goal is to have a kid by 35. My boyfriend wants 2 but that's a pipe dream lol. Ideally I would like to take the first year off from work. I know it will be hard but to me it's worth the peace of mind. I'm generally an anxious and untrusting person, and can imagine that I'd only be worse when it comes to strangers watching my infant.
No. 310521
>>310486It's either this or they end up having kids way too late and then can't go have fun at birthday parties, trampolines, running around, etc because they're in their 50s/60s with teenagers
>Inb4 the "just take care of yourself dumbass" anon chimes inUnless you're an Olympian or something, the average person in their 50s and 60s isn't going to be able to keep up with high energy ass children, just because you're not literally disabled doesn't mean you'll have the time or energy to want to deal with kids and teens
No. 310541
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Is it just me or do doctors seem to use "failure to thrive" loosely as fuck now? I thought it was just me, from about 0-3 months my ped always kept pressing me claiming my baby wasnt gaining enough when she reached her birth weight before 2 weeks and doubled birth weight at 4 months, she has a double chin and was super chunky and it's like ??? Are you looking at the same baby? Anyway ped would kept pressing me to feed her 2+ oz after a full feed every 2 hours, which made no sense because she was already getting what she needed from breast. Today I saw a TikTok of women showing off these massive chunky baby claiming they had failure to thrive but like wtf? These babies aren't starving to death anytime soon. Is this just a way to push formula or something?
No. 310579
>>310577I feel like not enough people take up with Medicaid, it's quite easy to get and from my understanding , all children get it in most states,
you can get it for your children even if you make over the minimum requirement.
>Inb4 how dare you rely on government moneyGovernment programs are literally made to help us, only Americans would suggest something as ridiculous as paying taxes just to NOT take advantage of some of the couple of programs to help themselves
You're totally correct though, my MIL is a hoarder and kept telling me and husband to constantly buy shit as her best advice to his, "go buy swaddles, not 2 or 3 but 7 or 8, go buy 50+ outfits, etc". The best advice I ever received is to buy the basics (bassinet, diapers, changing station, etc) and THEN just buy what baby needs from there. If baby doesn't like swaddles hey at least you don't have millions sitting around, if you just end up EBF at least there's not a bunch of random bottles to clean, obviously just buy a single item that may be in needed in an emergency such as a single pack of bottles or swaddle because you don't want to be stuck at 3 AM and you're not producing enough milk to keep baby satisfied or they need a swaddle or something
No. 310612
>>310603I feel the same but you have to understand it's only like this in LONG term ones, like 4-8+ hours daily. College childcare involves only a 1-2 hours at a time unless you really jam packed your schedule, plus they're cleaner and better trained I feel and simply not around your child enough to have a long term influence. Trusted family members and friends would obviously be the first option but it seems like most American family offer shit tier support systems or they'll expect almost twice the pay of a daycare worker to watch your kids even for an hour at a time.
Cheaper facilities meant for full term child care are shit though, some of them are so expensive parents are actually losing money trying to put their children through it. I was in daycare and I resent it since daycare workers often act like children themselves
No. 310625
File: 1674978165804.jpg (61.87 KB, 550x550, angry-derpina-fffuuu-internet-…)
>2 years have passed since we started trying for a baby
>still nothing
>blood tests are normal, pap smear is normal, hubby's sperm count seems normal
At this point I'm convinced my uterus is full of bees or something like that.
No. 311412
File: 1675540280972.jpeg (168.4 KB, 1283x799, E5C9B849-C56C-4393-A2DC-102426…)
so i purchased an amazon c shaped pregnancy pillow a couple of weeks ago but absolutely hated it. it was so bulky and took up like 3/4 of my bed, plus it got flat after a week of use. i really wanted a bbhugme but the price is insane to get it shipped to canada. i luckily found it on fb marketplace the other day for $50, and omg. it is so worth the money. you can adjust the firmness and position in it so many ways. i highly recommend it! try to find it second hand if you can
No. 311815
I hope this is the right thread to ask, apologies if it isn't. But did any of the moms here(who are happy to be moms and enjoy having a child/children) like the idea of pregnancy but were ambivalent or uninterested in the actual having a kid part, prior to becoming a mother?
I'm 30, married, we're both on board to start trying in 3-5 years, will get some tests done to make sure our junk is functional before that, yadda yadda. Not too worried since my mom had kids easily in her late 30's. And while I don't mind the idea of pregnancy itself now, I kind of like it even as I get older, I can't picture myself as a mother to a child anymore than I could at 20. I don't dislike kids, but I don't really like them either. I have no maternal instinct whatsoever. Whenever I have to hold a baby niece/nephew or a friend's kid the only thing on my mind is "oh my god don't drop it". Sorry if this is rambling, but did any of you feel the same way, but got the maternal feelings when your own child was born? Every happy mom I know irl said she always had strong maternal instincts and desired to be a mother.
No. 311857
>>311751Some women's bodies simply reacts poorly to
toxic men in their life. Plenty of women in relationships with shitty men often start getting health problems from stress and there's often different omens that you need to catch, infertility being one of them. Some women are simply blessed with their bodies being able to reject shitty men from their life
No. 313731
>>313610This thread and the past few ones is a hotspot for bad advice kek
>Oh your baby can't have breast milk? Obviously you're not producing enough go buy breast milk>Can't afford kids? Just dig yourself into credit card debt>Poor? Just have kids! They're not that expensive>Have kids too late? Just take care of yourself It feels extremely creepy and predatory, and it seems super unfair young moms (who are now on their own more than ever thanks to our shitty gen x and boomer parents) that we get terrible and harmful guidance and are lost when most of us can't rely on anybody but ourselves. The fact that family coming to help out with a newborn is a privilege for most young moms instead of the norm is baffling. I just feel so cheated that I was basically camping in bed with tons of water, diapers and baby clothes due to not being able to walk around due to pain since I was all on my own but it's basically the bare minimum for parents to even stay and help the first couple of days?? Fuck me
No. 315238
>>315091I still have my second one
>>315056I haven't had a period in years due to being on an iud and now I'm on the pill so a little concerned about that
>predatory companyso is it not worth it?
No. 315397
File: 1678040281016.jpg (43.64 KB, 400x600, dad and baby.jpg)
Has anyone gotten a small gift for after the birth for their partners? I was hoping to get my husband the more premium version of his favorite whiskey, but he didn't know this so he got it himself to share with people as they come by to meet the baby. He's been so wonderful throughout the pregnancy, and was an absolute saint before then too, so I'd like to make him feel a little comforted and taken care of, too. He's such a minimalist that something like a cozy robe would be an annoyance, and I wouldn't want to spend too much, since then he would feel bad instead of appreciative.
No. 315489
>>315485ntayrt and i have no stake in this game but you're absolutely psycho, letting other people you trust, (usually family) watch your baby is normal, and has been normal and even expected in most cultures around the world historically. It allows for better long term functioning for the parents. Hence the grandmother hypothesis, etc.
t. anthropologyfag
No. 315541
>>315489There's been a new wave of people (women and men) who give weird faketrad parenting advice (only to women though) that is basically that women need to have their babies attached to them like a kangaroo would, and they only ever seen to pop up when another person watches the baby so that way the mom can do something she wants to do like go to class, eat, take a shower, etc. Even if the other person is the father. It's funny because postpartum doulas will come in and watch the baby for 4-5 hours and it's bizarre to me the internet experts think they know better than doulas who have been taking care of newborns and postpartum moms for years and even decades
The worst ones are the ones who keep trying to shame moms out of postpartum care by calling it selfish if a woman takes a few extra seconds to ice her freshly ripped vagina or properly clean her c section.
I swear to God these new sexist ideologies are becoming more and more harmful to women. It wouldn't surprise me if FGM started becoming supported in the west
No. 315898
>>315895Anon I didn't have a child but my mother told me I was like that as a baby, hated eating and drinking, and on the rare occasions I ate well I would throw up and she'd lose her mind over it. I can definitely understand how you feel and how heartbreaking and draining your current situation must be for you. But please always remember that you're trying your best.
Do you have any professionals or something like that that you can contact for help? Any female friends or relatives whose baby struggled from similar issues? These issues are super common unfortunately and babies are just not cooperative in most cases. Please don't feel like you're not enough or doing something wrong, most mothers go through this.
No. 315928
>>315878Use freshly pumped milk (frozen milk has increase lipids which makes it taste soapy) and then try a few bottles (comotomo, Evenflo, Phillips naturals, etc) to see what baby likes or if it's old enough try a sippy or open cup. Also glass bottles make the milk taste better
Make sure baby doesn't have reflux either or else it could cause an adversion and if it does put rice in the bottle and get a reflux prescription. You can also put sugar water (look up how to make baby sugar water) to get baby to suckle
No. 316007
>>315901Immediately postpartum I used Depends silloute disposable underwear and I swear they were a lifesaver! Dermoplast and frida icepads were my bestfriend. For my son, we swaddled with muslin blankets because they were cheapest. If you're breastfeeding a boppy is really useful. I ordered 2 button up gowns off of amazon which were super cozy and nice to use while giving birth and afterwards! Don't spend a ton of money though because they get stained
As a newborn and infant these have been used daily:
-A bouncer/ Swing / Floor seat.
-A portable sound machine
-A utility cart for diapers/wipes/breastfeeding supplies
-A rocking chair
-Blackout curtains!
-More burp cloths than you think you'll need
No. 316254
File: 1678467004891.png (513.37 KB, 768x722, Screenshot 2023-03-10 at 11.36…)
can we talk about strollers? i just bought this bugaboo cameleon set off of fb marketplace for $250. it comes with everything: a bassinet, bug/sun/rain covers, drink holder, plus some other things. i really like it and kind of bought it on a whim because the couple were very sweet and it seemed in really good condition. i have no idea about strollers, although i know bugaboo and uppababy are popular. what strollers have you bought?
No. 316419
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>>316254We have a Maxi Cosi Street+ I am very happy with it except the front wheels get a bit fucky when its been muddy and dirt gets stuck in the mechanism. I would probably buy something with bigger and better wheels next time. Other than that its been very practical.
No. 317251
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>>317250Samefag to add I use only water wipes with nothing added to them and this cream.
No. 317533
>>317520another
victim of baby fever succumbs to the horror of motherhood. RIP.
No. 317656
File: 1679264180790.jpg (77.94 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)
Since the childfree people in their thread are sneering about us having issues with things like breastfeeding and all the other difficult things that come with having a baby I'd just like to say that despite how hard it is sometimes, I feel so overwhelmingly blessed by having my daughter.
I never thought I could love anyone this much and every time I see her smile and hear her do her cute baby giggles I am filled with so much love and happiness. It's so totally worth the sore nipples and backpain to watch her explore the world for the first time and learn new things every day an learning more about her. Whenever I get like 2 hours away from her I miss her already after a couple of minutes and can't wait to hug and snuggle her again. Not even when she is sick and crying all night long have I ever wished not to have had her. Seeing my husband as a dad also made me love him even more and appreciate him in a totally new way. I love having my own family and I wouldn't change it for the world.
No. 317673
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Women in IVF sex selection groups are straight up deranged.
Like I just want a girl child because I’ve seen how misogynistic and awful teenage moids get especially now in the era of ubiquitous porn and meanwhile these women are like 'I want a girl because BOWS and CLOTHES and PRINCESS TEA PARTIES' or 'I want a boy because my moid won’t be able to bond with a girl because he can’t take a GIRL hunting or teach her to fix the car'
I wasn’t aware that there were so many people obsessed with gender stereotypes to this degree before I joined these groups, or at least I’d have assumed that they’d mostly be extremely religious and opposed to IVF
No. 317677
>>317673Genuinely what is the point in paying all that money to choose your baby’s sex when there is a chance they will Troon out anyway?
How about don’t be a shitty parent to your kid and expect a perfect daughter because that’s what you paid for?
No. 317741
>>317640Ayrt, thanks! We currently live together but it’s only a 1 bedroom apartment. I don’t think our parents will be disappointed or unsupportive, I just worry mine will be concerned. They’re boomers who got to do everything the “right way” in that they got married and bought a house before starting to have kids. I think they’ll just worry that we’re not in as stable of a place as we’d ideally be.
Could you elaborate on needing less money than you think? Everyone I know goes on about how expensive everything is and I’m already trying to think of ways to penny-pinch, such as maybe getting reusable cloth diapers but that seems gross lol.
No. 317767
File: 1679324926424.jpg (71.96 KB, 938x910, empapador-absorbentes-camas-or…)
>>317741cloth diapers are fine honestly, the poop is quite washable before they start solids. However you should look into maybe getting a monthly box or something that gives a better deal than buying them packet-wise. You could clean the butt with water and mild soap and keep the water wipes for maybe nighttime/when outside. A baby carrier/sling instead of a stroller. I didnt need a baby bathtub, just hold the baby on your lap while sitting down in shower while newborn, later when they can hold their head you can just hold them up while standing in the shower. In the "airplane" position it was easiest to clean them imo. Clothes if not gifted can be bought for peanuts used on like fb marketplace or thrift shops. If you breastfeed, you dont need bottles or formula. Pacifiers are absolutely optional. You dont need a changerpad let alone a whole furniture for it, I just got 3 bed mats that are waterproof (pic related) and just put it under the baby whereever she was at to change her. Instead of a crib you can put a baby mattress on the floor (make sure to air out daily) or co-sleep. I know this is frowned upon a lot but it worked for me. Oh and I made a diaper cream out of coconut and bentonite clay. Generally you dont need to bathe the baby that much either and just a mild baby soap like from burts bees is fine. No need to get all sorts of oils and lotions and whatnot. The only thing I would get that can also be seen as unnecessary was a bouncer, just so you can leave the baby somewhere while you get some cleaning or cooking or whatever done. However this can also be optional, especially in a 1 room apartment. Make sure that all the things you get are cotton/natural though this is the only thing I would watch out for. Its not worth it to cheap out on fabric and get polyester (plastic).
No. 317832
>>317798Honestly same. The last thing this world needs is more moids
I have one daughter now, and would like more children. But one of things holding me back is the risk of having a boy. I wish there was a way to only have female babies, apart from aborting once you know the sex
No. 317887
>>317767Thank you SO much for this very thorough response. I will take much of it under consideration when we really start to put all the pieces together.
>>317792Turns out I was worrying too much, unsurprisingly. I broke the news and they’re over the moon. My dad is a little worried about how we’re gonna handle everything but ultimately everyone is very happy and excited.
No. 318076
>>317980>>317980Did you not read?
>asking for pictures of her private parts >private partsNo normal person asks to see a fetuses vagina specifically. She also as a weird habit of making sexual comments towards children. Talks to her daughter about sex often, demanded that she needed to watch her daughter have sex for the first time. And also comments on high schoolers breast size. Sometimes when we were watching movies she would just randomly out of nowhere start mentioning every woman's breast size. She asks high school girls if they ever had sex with a woman. She has two assault charges towards her children. I cut her off when she asked for pictures of my daughter's vagina, which was a good choice since months later husband and his sister started revealing that she had molested both of them by claiming she needed to check their private parts. Who's insane now?
No. 318347
I am
>>317520 and I’ve settled into the idea of having a baby. While I was scared shitless a week ago of being pregnant, now I’m terrified of something going wrong. I was experiencing strong symptoms (heightened emotions, hot flashes, intense hunger, brain fog, sore boobs) but suddenly don’t feel pregnant. My symptoms have lessened and I know I shouldn’t complain, but I’m getting worried something may be going wrong. Is it normal for symptoms to come and go so quickly?
No. 318850
>>317250try doing a baking soda bath for this.
"add 2 tablespoons of baking soda to warm bath water. Soak baby's bottom for 5-10 minutes once or twice a day."
>>318347How far along are you?
No. 318876
File: 1680034023911.jpg (48.17 KB, 1000x1000, 51L1jOv20hL._SL1000_.jpg)
>>317250Update on the diaper rash, it's gone! We ended up buying Aquaphor because I read it was good for diaper rash and also just let her hang out on a changing mat without a diaper for 10-15mins at every diaper change so she can properly dry and get some airflow and sunlight down there. It helped really quickly.
No. 320496
>>320309Seconding the Magnesium (specifically glycinate) recommendation. OJ also helps absorption
>>320464Could you return it early? It wouldn't hurt to have if you do end up exclusively pumping. I personally have no use for a pump and prefer to hand pump if needed but i know everyone feels different. Electric ones make me feel sewercidal.
>>320227Those people are genuinely retarded and if any of them are moms they get off on being the sacrificial mother archetype.
If the babies needs are met they can cry so you can take a shit or eat something. It will be fine.
No. 320799
>>320786https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/folicacid/faqs/faqs-safety.htmlApparently there aren't any confirmed health risks reported by the cdc so far. I wonder why your doctor wants you to be on so much. Either way, you're technically not supposed to start any supplement without your doctor's approval. All the best
nonnie!
No. 321093
>>320862Thanks anon.
>>320981Do you have any genetic disease that runs in the family and affects men? You could use that as a reasoning. I think choosing sex is illegal in most countries but clinics usually let that stuff slide if you keep quiet about it just like how some abortion clinics abort babies past the official time using made up health issues.
I don't think it's bad ethically, does your husband/wife agree though? That'd be the biggest concern imo. I hope it works out for you and it all goes well.
No. 321105
>>320981I live in a Eastern European country and I’m planning to go to Ukraine to do IVF with donor sperm and sex selection. I’m a lesbian and I want a moid-free home kek
I’m probably gonna go to ISIDA clinic in Uzhgorod. From what I’ve seen one cycle costs 7-10k €. There are Facebook groups related to IVF sex selection but they’re mostly populated by weird Christian nut Americans with 7 sons who 'want a girl because they’re obedient and love princesses' or alternatively 'want a boy because their hubby-wubby is unable to relate to girls' so you have to deal with a lot of retards while trying to find information.
No. 321363
>>321201Do you just spam this to random people?
>>321296The statistic you're talking about how been debunked multiple times dumbass
No. 321368
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>>321296Can’t tell if you’re a scrote or a fucktarded boymommy but either way you’re living proof why women shouldn’t have sons kek
There are no benefits to male children, they’re more likely to have all mental illnesses except depression, more likely to have ODD and behavioral problems, more likely to commit crime, less likely to finish school and get a degree, and nowadays all are misogynistic porn addicts starting at an early age. Also all metrics show that lesbian couples are better parents than straight ones, mostly due to the absence of a scrote. Cope and seethe.
Also abortion is based, especially if males are being aborted.
No. 321370
>>321296Not involved in this and not a lesbian but those statistics don't show abuse between women but rather how many lesbians have been abused in total by either men or women.
>>321201Nta but kek. Why are some of you so obsessed with anons getting IVF? Bringing up religion and god on a site that's %50 porn and horny posting is so ironic.
No. 321373
File: 1681376249544.jpeg (132.87 KB, 750x969, 93A218E0-3053-4801-A91C-79B37A…)
>>321369>The results indicate that children raised by same-sex parents from birth perform better than children raised by different-sex parents in both primary and secondary education. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0003122420957249
>Results revealed no significant differences between the 2 groups of children, who also compared favorably with the standardization samples for the instruments used. In addition, no significant differences were found between dyadic adjustment of lesbian and heterosexual couples. Only in the area of parenting did the 2 groups of couples differ; lesbian couples exhibited more parenting awareness skills than did heterosexual coupleshttps://psycnet.apa.org/record/1995-17278-001
>According to their mothers' reports, the 17-year-old daughters and sons of lesbian mothers were rated significantly higher in social, school/academic, and total competence and significantly lower in social problems, rule-breaking, aggressive, and externalizing problem behavior than their age-matched counterpartshttps://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20530080/
>corporal punishment is less commonly used by lesbian mothers as a disciplinary measure than by heterosexual fathers>Since the sexual abuse of children that occurs within the home is largely perpetrated by adult heterosexual males (Balsam et al., 2005; Turner, Finkelhor, & Ormrod, 2007; Peter, 2009; Putnam, 2003; Shusterman, Fluke, McDonald, & Associates, 2005; Zink, Klesges, Stevens, & Decker, 2009), growing up in lesbian-headed households may protect children and adolescents from these types of assault>When compared with age- and gender-matched adolescents of the National Survey of Family Growth, the study offspring were significantly older at the time of their first heterosexual contact>None of the NLLFS girls reported pregnancyhttps://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3210350/ No. 321377
>>321296Do you think those surveyors went around door to door asking “any domestic violence going on in here?”, jackass? The study asked couples if either of the two had
ever experienced domestic violence.
“Lesbian relationship” doesn’t mean “never dated a man”, there are fully homosexual women who took years to realise it. You don’t need more than a braincell to see domestic violence is a male crime. The more women in a couple, the more likely you are to encounter a
victim of domestic violence.
Your interpretation is like saying girls are rapists because you’d find a higher percentage of SA
victims in a girls’ school. It’s a disingenuous narrative created to tarnish women and say that sweet evil men aren’t that bad, “you’d beat your wife too if you had one uwu”.
No. 322824
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>>321908I dont like my stretch marks and that my boobs are huge and sort of saggy now but husband is very happy and I can actually orgasm vaginally without having to rub my clit during sex. So you win some and lose some. But you likely won't have as much sex, as by the time you get the baby to sleep you're gonna be very tired as well. Or get ready to get jiggy with it while having your little one watching you and babbling.
No. 323971
>>323270Thank you so much
nonny, this is exactly what I've been looking for! I browsed myself a while ago but I never found any video that I thought was based in actual evidence, and IRL everyone was just remarking at "Dont do situps until it's closed, do other exersizes" without getting into details of what to do instead!?
I hope other nonnies see this post because as you said, this really should be a part of the basic information you're given pp. I wanted to have this info at the hospital damn it, before I worked out in the wrong way for weeks and got nowhere. Our bodies are bloody amazing for being able to go through such a huge change, to give life to a whole other being, and come out looking even better!
No. 325145
>>324063I'm also considering it but its not exactly the standard here. In the private health sector in my country the rate of c-section is 76%, which is absolutely insane and reflects on our OBGYNs mindsets about birth. My husband would prefer labouring in hospital as he's worried something could happen to me during labour. From what I've read, the need for interventions in labour go down significantly with planned home labour, but the risk for neonatal death varies. Some studies indicate that the neonatal death rate is similar to hospital births, while others state its higher than hospital births. Things can go wrong in any labour, but it makes sense to me that labour would go smoother (if you're low risk) in a place where you're comfortable, allowed to move, not subjected to a ton of cervical checks and suggested interventions to get you out of the labour ward as soon as possible at your doctor's convenience. On the other hand, if you're unlucky enough to have a serious unexpected complication, you're essentially screwed during homebirth. I'm really scared of being pushed unecessary interventions and being rushed through labour (emphasis on unecessary, I know interventions are needed sometimes), especially being a first time mom who statistically might experience a longer labour.
No. 326913
>>324063I had a home birth yesterday! My care provider was a practice of certified nurse midwives and I live about 7 minutes from an excellent hospital. The main downside was zero pain relief. Plenty of birth centers in the area offer a nitrous oxide for pain, as does my nearest hospital, but that's not something legally permitted in home births where I live. In the UK and probably other countries, this is an option, so that would make home birth more appealing. Nothing could have prepared me for contractions, but if I was dead set on and unmedicated in any setting that would have been the same. It was a lot more planning and preparation for me, and if my Nigel wasn't totally on board and helpful with the planning it wouldn't have worked. It was nice to be in a familiar setting, and much easier to feel confident in sticking to what you want without getting bullied by a provider. They took care of cleaning up, thank goodness. I did worry about the neighbors hearing, though, especially around 3am. It was so good to be in our own home and own bed after. I wouldn't recommend it if you live somewhere rural where a hospital transfer would take a long time, or with a provider with lesser certifications. Home birth is definitely a choice that I feel privileged to have been able to make.
No. 327309
File: 1683753108909.jpeg (22.48 KB, 646x528, 98434-meme-the-pepe-frog-sad.j…)
I just found out I'm pregnant with a boy. How do I raise him in a way that won't result in him trooning out or becoming an incel?
No. 327315
>>327309Lots of outdoor activities, hiking, playing in the woods taking him foraging, hunting, gardening, tending to animals etc. Skills and hobbies like woodworking, knitting, sewing, drawing, music etc is also very good.
Kids who grow up around and to appreciate nature tend to end up more adjusted from what I can tell. Gives them less instant stimulus, calms them and provides a good sense of achievement, as well as builds their muscle and hand eye coordination in a healthy way. Make him appreciate and like things rooted in the real world.
No. 327369
>>327314I know a lot of kids with no dad who didnt troon out or incelize, while there are kids with loving dads who did all that and then some…
Don't let the internet raise them, be involved in his/her life, maybe homeschool PLUS after school sport or dance so theyre not a loner with no irl world experience.
No. 327371
>>327363If this was true then we wouldn't see so many shitty kids who have a seemingly loving mom and loving dad who are desperate for help
Although the mom being naive and letting a stranger come by and *olest the kids out of sheer stupidity does have a bad outcome yeah
No. 327625
>>327371It's not just about being loving, but the parents have to set a good example and guide their children too.
>>327466Stop using "feminine" as a negative term. Just say they are childish and weak.
No. 331804
>>331800in exactly the same situation. i really want to become a mom soon, but men are horrendous.
sending support your way.
No. 332602
>>331959There is risk but not that much. The biggest concerns is simply planning your babies life around yours. Please do not bring humans into this world if you do not bother thinking about how you will plan for them into adulthood.
I see this among gen z parents as well where a lot of them are trapped or cannot grow because they are too worried about their parents or their parents never helped them prepare for adulthood (because they're worried about their end of life plans themselves)like what usually happens
No. 332621
>>331843At the local elementary schools, there are so many parents who are in their late 30s, well into their mid 40s. It's honestly rarer to see parents in their 20s, and with elementary school you're dealing with children in the 4-10 year range, so subtracting their child's age to theirs reveals a lot of them had children in their late 20s and 30s and a lot of the elementary school children reveal they're only children or even the oldest child of the family.
I think it's more of an effect of the current state of the economy and the general culture surrounding parents and actually giving birth to children. The workforce is unnecessarily bombarding the average employee with so much stress, making claims of needing more productivity to make everyone look busier than they actually are because they've employed someone who doesn't know how to do the bare minimum and would rather not discipline the individual, let them go, and hire someone else, but have everyone else make up the work for them. More employees are calling in, thus more employees are being called in to cover. Money is scarce, inflation is rapidly increasing compared to the raises we're getting. Where's the time to properly prepare for having a child when you don't feel like you're making enough and/or you keep getting called to cover because you'd like to make a few extra bucks? I hear so many people say, "There's people who have kids all the time and when they're young", but really… where are they? It's really not that common anymore.
No. 333334
>>332624Not a mother, but I've read several reports that when some women have had a baby, the baby's father becomes incredibly jealous of their own child - to the point of violence against the woman.
If you are trying to babytrap a man, all I can see the best outcome being him leaving and actually paying support, after that all the other outcomes are miserable.
No. 333571
>>332621Yes. I'm so tired of TikTok moms that are like 22 with 4 kids (most of the time they just post thirst traps). I know this one mom who's a major cow. Her entire page is thirst traps and her showing off being a trailer park mom of 4 while making the most basic crappy food possible that's very little on the child's plate. Ofc you can't question it because you'll immediately get bombarded with "stop mom shaming, she knows how much her kids eat she knows best" or some super weird and rare hypothetical that would totally explain why she isn't feeding her kids well other than she can't afford to
Tbh I have no problem with lower income moms. Living in a trailer with 2 kids at a young age? Sure, 3 is pushing it. 4 your just extremely stupid and irresponsible with your pregnancies (back to backs are dangerous) and don't care about the quality of your child's like as long as if you get clout
No. 333572
>>332621Yes. I'm so tired of TikTok moms that are like 22 with 4 kids (most of the time they just post thirst traps). I know this one mom who's a major cow. Her entire page is thirst traps and her showing off being a trailer park mom of 4 while making the most basic crappy food possible that's very little on the child's plate. Ofc you can't question it because you'll immediately get bombarded with "stop mom shaming, she knows how much her kids eat she knows best" or some super weird and rare hypothetical that would totally explain why she isn't feeding her kids well other than she can't afford to
Tbh I have no problem with lower income moms. Living in a trailer with 2 kids at a young age? Sure, 3 is pushing it. 4 your just extremely stupid and irresponsible with your pregnancies (back to backs are dangerous) and don't care about the quality of your child's like as long as if you get clout
No. 333574
>>332621Yes. I'm so tired of TikTok moms that are like 22 with 4 kids (most of the time they just post thirst traps). I know this one mom who's a major cow. Her entire page is thirst traps and her showing off being a trailer park mom of 4 while making the most basic crappy food possible that's very little on the child's plate. Ofc you can't question it because you'll immediately get bombarded with "stop mom shaming, she knows how much her kids eat she knows best" or some super weird and rare hypothetical that would totally explain why she isn't feeding her kids well other than she can't afford to
Tbh I have no problem with lower income moms. Living in a trailer with 2 kids at a young age? Sure, 3 is pushing it. 4 your just extremely stupid and irresponsible with your pregnancies (back to backs are dangerous) and don't care about the quality of your child's like as long as if you get clout
No. 333576
>>332624Does not work. Remember, men can easily leave and you will be the one now miserable because you don't have the man you were obsessed enough with to do this for and are saddled with the reality of a child you wanted for the wrong reasons. Think of your future, and thinknof the hypothetical child's future. Not worth it.
>>333334This is true, my own aunt had major drama immediately after giving birth because her husband was blowing up at her and having tantrums out of jealousy. Her sisters all had to intervene and camp out at the house all because this man was jealous of a mother tending to her 1 month old newborn.
And in case anybody has preconceptions about the circumstances under which this might happen, this was an upper middle class family in America where both parents where 35+.
No. 333854
>>333576If a moid gets jealous because of a newborn he is automatically a terrible dad, husband and person. Even just jealousy aside. Your wife got ripped open either via c section or vaginal birth and shes doing enough work to make you jealous? He shouldnt even have had time to think about jealousy
>>333574I thought about this with MrsMidwest and Abby&Matt too. They probably only do it to prove how trad they are by keeping the woman barefoot and pregnant and have no regards on how this will affect the baby either
No. 334306
File: 1686296201671.jpg (967.57 KB, 5760x3840, The-Laundress-Baby-Collection-…)
Anons now that laundress has been recalled what are some better alternatives for that delicious smell? I like noodle and boo and dreft doesn't hit the same like it use to
No. 335752
>>334306unscented free and clear is the best to use, enjoy the natural smell of your baby
>>335322I really like GUND and jellycat personally. Also nip brands are good.
I would be careful with etsy bc there's a million chinese drop shippers now.
No. 335762
File: 1686880433001.jpg (6.06 KB, 225x224, images.jpg)
More of a Mommy talk I guess but we took our daughter to build-a-bear for the first time for her birthday and she loved it so much.
She picked out everything pink and "shparkly" and a tutu and I love her for that its so freaking cute.
When we got back I was in the bathroom and I heard her run up to her daddy and say "Daddy I'm happy"
She's just so sweet and I'm so happy we can do nice things for her like this
No. 335766
>>335762Oh my god how I want a daughter so badly.
I have such bad baby fever and I'm only 22, I've been trying my best to avoid the feels too much but I'm SO eager. I've had baby fever in the past pretty badly but this is like NEW. Oh how I want children.
No. 335770
>>335766Its the hardest and most rewarding thing I've ever done.
Though definitely never rush it
nonnie i would never want this with just any moid, you have plenty of time.
No. 335977
File: 1686955219069.jpg (40.28 KB, 535x425, kiwi.jpg)
When did everyone start getting normal vaginal discharge back postpartum while breastfeeding, and was it an immediate precursor to ovulation resuming?
No. 337122
>>336514Swings, bouncy seats, bassinets and things like that yes.
Definitely clothes.
Would avoid mattresses and car seats like another anon said. You can definitely get a stroller secondhand but a stroller with infant carseat combo is a good thing to look into.
I honestly have like 4 strollers lmao but i think its good to get some kind of small lightweight stroller once the bany is sitting.
No. 338338
My partner drives me up the wall sometimes when he’s taking care of our baby. I’ll breastfeed her, then he’ll take her to change her nappy while I go for a shower, and by the time I come back downstairs he’s giving her a bottle. ‘She was hungry’ like hell she was! She either wanted to play and be entertained, or she was getting overtired and needed to be helped to sleep. And then I have to pump to make up the lost milk, which means by the time she wants to go back on the breast there’s very little milk and she just gets angry. Like please man, just spend 10 minutes making funny faces at her and telling her she’s a very smelly baby, she loves it.
And on a similar note, it is so clear he doesn’t see nursing as actually feeding the baby. We had to bottle feed formula and expressed milk at the start because she was too sleepy to nurse properly and my supply dipped quite a lot. So I spent weeks pumping, forcing her on the breast, eating all the right food, drinking all the right drinks, just to be able to nurse her and we finally got to that point! All for him to say ‘shall I give her a bottle’ when she cries after nursing. Pal, she cries for more than just hunger. She’s gassy as fuck. ‘We really need to give her a bottle at night.’ Why? I nurse her to sleep and she sleeps for 7 hours? What is the issue? Why do you want to wake her (and us) to force a bottle into her? Let us sleep!
This turned into way more of a rant than I intended, sorry nonas.
No. 338354
Has anyone tried Pumping Pals, Pumpables, LacTek, or any of the other "comfort flanges" on the market? Are they any good? Are they worth it? I only pump once a day right now, but it's not the most comfortable experience even with the correct flange size.
>>337331Congratulations nona! Enjoy your little family and all the precious moments! May your daughter have a lifetime of health and happiness!
>>338338I am upset on your behalf reading that, nona. It sounds like your husband has no understanding of the effort you put into feeding your daughter breastmilk. If you have any free visits left (you should have 6 a year if you are in the US, regardless of which insurance plan you have) you could try having a lactation consultant come by while your husband is home. This place
https://lactationnetwork.com/ lets you input your insurance, location, and desired appointment times and matches you with a consultant. One thing they do is a weighted feed. Don't mess it up like I did and feed the baby right before the appointment (my issue wasn't intake level, but I was still curious to know how much she ate) because you want your husband to see that the baby is getting x ounces when you breastfeed. Usually a lactation consultant sends you to fill out an intake questionnaire asking what your concerns are, and I'd suggest telling her all of this.
No. 338363
>>338338I feel you. Not the same exact issues that you have, but the same general attitude of my husband just pisses me off. He thinks he knows everything better despite not doing any research whatsoever on parenting or babies while I have spent 10 months reading absolutely everything. So he will make dumb suggestions like "Just let her cry herself to sleep" at like a couple of weeks old and doesn't understand why I won't just let her cry and then tells me I am not allowed to be frustrated with the baby ever because I "won't even try his advice".
Whenever it's his time to watch the baby so I can shower or do chores he just plops infront of the TV and gets frustrated that this doesn't entertain the baby at all cause she is way too young to watch TV or he lets her sit in his lap at the computer and lets her smash his keyboard until she gets bored of doing that and starts crying. He puts the least amount of effort to entertain her possible so while I am doing stuff I am constantly hearing her cry and so I have to rush doing anything and am always stressed out.
Men are truly no help with a baby but they expect to be praised for doing anything at all like changing a diaper once a day. I know there are probably men out there that are different, but I don't know a single woman who doesn't have this exact experience.
No. 338451
I found out a few days ago that my wife is pregnant, and I'm worrying way more than I thought I would. I think part of it is because we were caught off guard by this. When we had our test after the insemination, it came back negative, which felt absolutely crushing for us. We decided to put trying on hold until next year due to the emotional toll it was taking. Fast-forward just over a month and my wife has sensitive breasts, her emotions feel a bit off and she's getting unusual food cravings. We tested three times to be sure, and they all come back positive. As happy as I am, I just sank into this state of panic. That night we found out we were expecting, I had a nightmare that I was a penguin with an egg I had to protect. Everything around me was melting because of global warming and I had to get my egg somewhere safe, but in the end it broke. I woke up with my heart racing and tears in my eyes, having to explain this ridiculous dream to my wife. Since then there's just been an edge to everything. When I'm exercising, I'm pushing myself harder than usual because I'm obsessing about being healthy for my wife and baby. When I'm working on my business, I'm putting in more hours than normal because I'm focusing hard on long term planning, so they're both provided for should anything happen to me; even though I've already set up financial plans for that I'm still paranoid it's not enough. I'm overanalysing everything my wife does and asking her if she's ok probably a hundred times a day. Past couple nights I struggled to sleep and just watch her instead. This horrible survival instinct nagging away at me that if I fall asleep, something bad will happen and I'll lose them both. I should be jumping for joy, but instead I'm a total wreck. Is this normal? Will is subside after a while? I'm trying to distract myself and work on nutritious meals I can make for my wife as cooking relaxes me, but it's so hard to switch off.
No. 339163
>>338514I don’t have children, but I think maybe giving her something else to help her satisfy her needs of biting, scratching and pulling could work? Like a toy or something. Or maybe find a way to make her get tired like lots of games, reading sessions, baby gym.
I don’t know, I just think she may be bored or tired and that doing those things like kicking you or pinching you are a way for her to distract herself because she gets a reaction out of you.
No. 339376
File: 1688830766862.jpeg (241.89 KB, 640x427, BF6A8718-6C01-4A01-863A-622981…)
Got my first big item - Babybay co-sleeper bassinet. I really wanna set it up to see how it looks but I’m not due til mid-November so it’ll just be in our 1 bedroom apartment taking our space for 4 months kek.
No. 339432
>>338514>>339167Say NO that hurts mommy, set her down somewhere safe and walk away for a few minutes.
She'll get it.
You're doing too much for her, you're not a clown you're her mother. She will learn to explore and play on her own.
>>338338That is so upsetting I'm sorry nonna, overfeeding a baby can be really bad for them!
>>338363Might as well leave her in a bouncer or swing at that point he is more useless than a machine
>>339158congrats
nonnie!
>>339189That's… for dogs
No. 340138
>>339640Highly unlikely that you're pregnant
nonnie.
However if this is going to be a constant worry for you, you should buy a big box of pregnancy tests on amazon.
If you're doing condoms and NFP its VERY unlikely you're pregnant.
No. 340487
>>340478Anon
please look up weaponized incompetence. That's exactly what he's doing to you. As much as it sucks to say, even teenage boys are stronger than you are, so he's lying out of his ass when he says it hurts. Unless he has health issues it's simply not possible he can't hold a baby for an hour, it's not possible. Partnered men everywhere use weaponized incompetence to get out of parental tasks and household chores, now you know what it is you don't have to fall
victim to it like so many other women.
No. 340513
>>339640Listen to these nonas,
>>340138 >>340151
Pregnancy tests are held to federal standards, so even if they're the shitty fifty cent ones, they'll still work.
No. 340960
File: 1689820017790.jpg (131.95 KB, 1500x1000, GettyImages-1297995956-2000-65…)
I might be pregnant again, had a super duper faint line on a test this morning. It might have just been an indent, but I feel super bloated and have had some weird cramps the past couple of days. I am still breastfeeding my 10 month old so I don't have my period back yet so no clue really. We've obviously not been preventing it from happening and I would be happy to be pregnant again since I want more kids and am over 30 already so I don't really have the time to wait too long im between.
Thinking of how to tell my husband, I know he will be super happy about it so I might get an outfit for our daughter that says "big sister" on it. Hope its gonna be a girl again!
No. 341102
>>340960Congrats
nonnie that's super cute.
You can definitely get pregnant before your first period, it happened to me too.
The big sister tshirt is an adorable idea though it may take him a minute to get it lol
No. 341114
>>341102Thank you! I took another test this morning and it was stark white and now I am super confused lol. I guess it was just an indent (the First Response tests used to be so good, wtf happened???) but I still
feel soooo pregnant. I guess it's just hormones going wild and making me go nuts.
No. 341898
>>340960I'm an over 30 here interested in having a baby. How was your experience?
I live in an area where everyone has babies young and people keep telling me how hard it'll be for me, so I'm nervous. I really want children though.
I just wanted your feelings as an over 30 with their first baby!
No. 342030
>>341898Another mom over 30 here. The pregnancy is going very well so far. I am in the second trimester and the baby looks healthy as can be. All my unpleasant symptoms have been mild and I get bursts of euphoria when I feel him move.
10/10 experience, would recommend.
No. 342100
>>342030Thank you, nona. This gives me a lot of hope. I wasn't sure I wanted kids but the past year I've been having these reoccurring dreams about the same son and daughter, and waking up feeling heart broken they aren't real. My husband wants children too and I feel like we're in a place where we could give a child a good life. My only fear has been my age but I'm happy it isn't a huge problem.
Gonna talk to a doctor about it this week, wish me luck!
No. 342441
File: 1690591586265.jpg (362.3 KB, 1000x725, shutterstock_546641992.jpg)
Why does no one ever talk about how good it feels to have a little fetus wiggling in your belly? It's like an internal massage. Elon Musk needs to make robotic fetus implants for women who aren't pregnant so they can get belly rubs all the time.
No. 342776
The audacity of men never fails to amaze me. For the past week, my baby has been screaming in pain at various times throughout the day, peaking at bedtime every night. My boyfriend works during the day so he never saw it until she had her evening burst and every day he would tell me ‘she’s just teething’ ‘it’s probably growing pains’ ‘she’s just tired’. And every day I would say ‘this is NOT normal, I’m going to phone the doctor’ and he would just dismiss it as just a general baby thing. I said that it seemed like she had painful reflux - arching her back, screaming in pain, painful spit up, loads of gas, crying while feeding. I started venting to my own mum and would send videos of my baby crying and my mum even said I should phone the doctor. So I phoned today and the doctor asked us to come in this afternoon to give the baby a quick check. The doctor said ‘we can both agree it seems like acid reflux’, prescribed reflux meds and literally after ONE dose, it was like I had a completely different baby. She still fussed a little but there has been NO screaming, no back arching, no painful spit up. Now my absolute nightmare of a boyfriend has spent the whole day claiming that ‘WE’ both knew it was reflux since she was spitting up and arching her back so badly and it took all my strength to not just slap that man. There was no ‘we’ in this, it was all me (with a little encouragement from my own mother). There’s no point to this story other than venting and to say that you should trust your motherly instincts because men will never understand what it’s like.
No. 344062
>>339376You should set it up to make sure no parts are missing. This is a good task to have your partner do.
>>340468That can be a hard feeling, but I can just about guarantee that you are her favorite parent.
>>343804Sounds like a troon to me.
No. 345612
>>345194Yes, I’m considering homeschool too. I used to be a teacher in my local school district, and it’s honestly so bleak and horrifying I can’t imagine sending my child there. The crime rates are high, literacy rates falling, discipline waning because basically the district doesn’t want parents to know how bad it really is so kids get away with EVERYTHING but murder and sexual assault. Kids are free to throw desks, threaten others students and sell drugs and there’s a “no kids left behind” policy that changed 0/Fs to 50s/Ds so the school doesn’t get taken over by the federal government I guess?? Anyway, there were students in my class who couldn’t even speak English and were straight D students but as long as they had a translator on their laptop and cheated off of other students they kept getting pushed right along to the next grade. I can’t imagine my child going to a school like the ones I had to attend as a child or teach at but could never afford to send him to a private school, either. We barely make enough for me to stay home now and I assume it’s only going to get harder, but I cannot put my child in public school here. We’ve considered moving to a better state with an area that has better schools and offers public-charter options when he’s older. In the meantime, I’m getting a professional certificate online and trying to study up in UX/UI so that maybe I can get an internship or apprenticeship someday that could result in a hybrid job, or at least a job that pays enough for me to get my kid into a better district/ school. It’s stressful as hell but if I choose to homeschool we probably can’t afford anymore kids and I’d really like at least one more. Your concerns are definitely
valid though- I guarantee your local district manipulates the publics view of how bad it really is and gaslights parents. They also probably hire pedophiles and are willing to cover up any weird shit that goes on unless the local police get involved. I’ve seen it multiple times. They don’t pay well enough to have actual professionals working for them most of the time, especially since the job includes so much “classroom management” lol aka being a glorified correction officer. All of that said, I live in one of the worst states education wise and in an area with high gang activity. If you look at your local crime and literacy rates you can determine if you live in an area you’d feel safe sending your child to school. Some schools in your district will be better than others, I’d find those schools and try to move to those zip codes if you do send your kid to public school. Sorry for the long response!
No. 345724
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but once a month, maybe for a week, I become obsessed with pregnancy and all things baby. I usually am not really good with kids, but I’m polite, and try to be understanding, but I just never really want one myself. Plus I’m a lesbian, so even if I was dating, my partner wouldn’t have the right parts to get me pregnant anyways.
But when this baby week comes along, it’s all I can think of. I think about being a mother. I think about babies. I think about the amount of love I’d have for this new human being whos completely reliant on me, this life that I helped create, and how it’ll be hard, but worth it. I literally dream of giving birth to a baby girl, and holding her with my dream wife and raising her together, watching her grow into a beautiful young woman.
This part is kinda depressing, i was raped at 13 and got pregnant, my mom is against abortion, so I carried my daughter to 4 months before my body couldn’t handle it and I miscarried. I can’t help but wonder if I was older, more mature, with financial stability and less trauma in conception, would I have been a good mother? If it worked, my daughter would be 9 years old. I guess sometimes my brain mourns her and fixates on what it would be like if she lived and I had my daughter today.
Auuugh I’m in baby week right now and I’m looking up fertility clinics. I know it’s stupid because I can’t have a baby now, but a girl can dream sadface
No. 345729
>>345724Nothing is wrong with how you feel, most people dream about having a kid with their ideal partner and even as a lesbian you can still achieve that. I'm really sorry for your traumatic experience, please don't blame yourself for it and try not to say "what if", I'm a med student and first thing you learn is that babies who are miscarried are often not viable, they're the babies that'd have died in the first hours or days of the birth.
I hope you'll have a perfect partner and a perfect baby in the future, don't lose hope and never blame yourself for a situation you had no control over.
>>345689>>345194Homeschooling is a bad idea. Children should interact with their peers and socialize with them for the ideal behavioral development. Most people who were home schooled say it left them stunted both intellectually and socially
No. 345765
>>345715I've never met anyone who is/was micro-schooled, It sounds like it would be better but I don't know. Sports are not enough for socializing but it's better than nothing. You have to consider who you're socializing your children with – other homeschool kids? (I think that's usually called a "homeschool pod") if those are your children's friends you can't control their ages (always very mismatched with much older and younger kids grouped together.) Or maybe you're socializing them with "regular" kids in which case your child is going to feel like a serious outsider and have trouble relating even if they are a happy and outgoing type (it's often described as feeling like a "third-culture kid", which they kind of are.) Then they have to grow up and operate in the same world as everyone else but they have this completely different childhood, not to mention if they want to pursue a degree they literally have to learn how to go to school at 18 which is a nightmare lol
Sorry to derail, I'm really interested in this topic but that's probably more than I should have written.
No. 346523
>>345772It's really not, one of the worst thing about having siblings is how transparents parents are with their favoritisms.
>>345778In my experience only child have an easier time sharing because they don't have the scarcity mentality of kids with siblings who can't have any personal belongings (they always HAVE to share even their absolute favorite things).
No. 348209
>>348156over-healed sounds like moid bullshit. More like they stitched you up a little more "just to be sure".
Unless he meant excessive scarring, which is not unimaginable. My Ob did a pretty terrible job when stiching me up, resulting in a patch of inflexible scarring right by the entrance of my vagina. It burned eveeytime I had sex but the OB said I was probably just not wet enough and gave me some bs cream. I finally had it removed by a different gyno and after healing I'm now pain free
No. 349113
File: 1695028837956.jpg (18.8 KB, 410x263, amazingdrawing.jpg)
>>348607When you say 'clipped' do you mean they just give you a little cut and that's it? No stitches? If that's the case then I'm not surprised you heal up just as tight as before
In my case the gyno removed a small crescent of tissue, then stitched the edges of the skin together. Made a drawing to illustrate, pls don't laugh. The bit that was removed didn't actually look like scarring (to me), but my gyno noticed it was very inflexible. So although removing it made my perineum slightly smaller, overall it became much more stretchy again.
No. 349213
>>337670Sorry for being 2 months late, I’ve barely had time to do anything. We did end up going to the doctor to check if her eyes are gonna be an issue, they couldn’t find anything wrong. They mentioned that the lighter one
might change to match the darker one, and it did darken, but to a darker blue rather than brown.
My wife recently asked me if I’d be willing to take medication to induce lactation, cause she’s worn the fuck out from nursing. Our baby is the hungriest baby ever, she’ll just keep drinking for 2-3 hours until she either falls asleep or my wife physically can’t take it anymore. This is switching breasts too. Doctor says nothing is wrong with her, she’s just a hungry baby
Anyways, back to lactation meds, cause I do wanna help her out, and we’re both women and capable of producing milk. Anyone know any supplements to induce milk wothout pregnancy? Ik this is a unique problem
No. 349760
>>348203It depends on ages, but lots of snacks, making sure everyone has a place on the shopping cart (or whatever) and packing a bag ahead of time helps.
>>349213There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula and you both shouldn't be killing yourself trying to lactate for the baby.
Your wife probably needs to eat better and sleep
No. 351588
File: 1696624578984.png (152.97 KB, 421x500, b29.png)
My husband works two jobs so that I can stay home with the baby, our baby is now nearly 1 year old. It is hard to explain but due to the WFH nature of one of the jobs, he balances two full time jobs that run from 9:00am - 5:00pm, 5:00pm - 9:00am the next day. This isn't every day but for most the week there is never a time that he is isn't working (again, I admit he comes home at 5:00pm, but the work he does from home is highly stressful and he has to spend the whole night in his office).
I want him to quit the job and spend time with us. He hates the other job, he wants to come home and play with our baby. The little time we get we spend huddled on the floor of the living room desperately trying to soak up as much family as we can. But the thing is, if he quits his job, I have to go back to work, we need the money, and then the baby goes to day-care (where I don't trust the staff of under 20s drug users to look after her properly) and even though we will have dad home of a night time and all to ourselves, well then we still miss out on being a family because I'm working all day and the baby is with strangers.
I feel so backed into a corner. We had a conversation about him quitting the other night and he agreed he would quit, but now I'm starting to regret it. He has said he will quit before and we always reach a certain point and then he never pulls the trigger because we need the money. This time we agreed when it comes to that point, we will make sure to pull the trigger, but now I'm the one panicking. I really cannot stomach putting my baby into care.
No. 351626
>>351597Tearing is very common, but mostly first and second degree tears that heal fast, very bad tearing (vag to butt) is uncommon.
One thing I didn't know and nobody told me is that right after birth you can not feel if your bladder is full. I waited way too long to go pee cause I just didn't feel like I needed to go even tho my bladder was almost bursting. Just go pee regularly after birth until you can feel it again, it's dangerous and none of the nurses even told me this.
I didn't really have any complications, my birth was very fast and easy, I had some first degree tearing that needed to be stitched up but that was healed within 2 weeks.
No. 351628
I'm pregnant for the first time and my family has this weird tradition of not using any pain medication during labor. My sister told me that active labor feels like a bad period, and my mother + aunts all say the same. My problem is, that I can't tell if they are just coping of if childbirth isn't that bad. Also my mom had a full tear (vagina to butt) and did stitches without pain meds. I'm debating on just lying about it but I'd like others opinion on pain and medication.
>>351568I use ritual because i'm a vegetarian. But I've heard good things about smarty pants and ollie
No. 351642
>>351597this is a basically what I couldve told my younger self
tearing and pain is extremely common, get the adult diapers, not pads. using actual numbing spray, not the hospital shit. ask for different pain relief not just otc, if they cant give it to you ask a few more docs. Lots of water and food, if your baby has jaundice request to stay in the NICU and you get free food and endless supplies
No. 351716
>>351642>>351626Thank you
If anyone else has more input I'd love move
My husband and I are going to start trying this year but I'm nervous
No. 351765
>>351762>>351707>>351709Ayart Thank you! My family is normally very pro hospital and aren't super into natural birthing - it's just this one aspect and it's really weird. I haven't told my family I'm pregnant yet because I'm still in the first trimester but when I do I know I'm going to be judged on what I do for pain management. Even though most of the women in my family have PCOS I just couldn't believe that child labor was the same as bad period cramps.
>>351709I never thought about how
toxic or misogynistic this attitude was until now so thank you. My family is full of pickme's so it's not surprising just sad.
Could be the pregnancy but I love you all so much.
No. 352395
>>352330I planned on doing all natural, but I got pre-eclampsia very suddenly and needed to be induced. I lasted roughly seven hours without an epidural but the pain was awful and I was making very little progress, I got no rest between contractions and it was so extreme I could barely speak so I got the epidural which was a life saver.
If you can, have some generals planned out and go over it with whoever is with you. Have your bag ready in advance just in case and bring little comforts (lotion, lip balm, snacks you might like). I wasn't ready but I grabbed a ton of stuff (we rushed to the hospital) so I was okay but it wasn't ideal.
I'm sure you'll be fine, it's normal to worry about these.
No. 352509
I’m a widowed single mom now. This is my first day completely alone with baby, I’m having trouble.
Baby is 3 months old, she normally takes a nap about 3PM to 4PM but we were at the hospital and left at 3:15-ish. I thought she’d be asleep when we got home, 10 minute drive, but she’s wide awake. I can’t get her to go back to sleep, so I hold and play with her. She eats at 4 and I didn’t want to mess her schedule up more, but she didn’t eat. It’s 4:30 and she’s been fussing and crying for 20 minutes now. I tried feeding, changing diaper, changing clothes, feeding attempt, pacifier, white noise, none of it works. Her late mom would always baby wear her until she sleeps, I think baby likes the heartbeat. When I do it though, she won’t relax. I think wife was more effective because she’s the one who carried baby, and her heartbeat is more comforting than mine. Is there any other ways to make a baby sleepy?
No. 352518
>>352509I hear wearing a sling helps since they lay on your chest and feel more comforted.
I am so sorry you lost your wife. If I think if anything else, I'll post, but I know my sister has 2 young ones and sometimes they are just fussy to fuss.
No. 352620
>>352509Nonna I'm so sorry about your wife. You're very right in that this will be a hard journey for you both but you can do it, I absolutely believe in you. It's hard to give advice without knowing your location so here is what I do as a semi-single parent: rely more on your family/community/friends/neighbours. Try to be open and honest with your support system about your needs and expectations on them, ask if they can help you with chores weekly or bi-weekly. If you dont have a support system, look into finding your village. In my country we have "open daycare" where parents spend time together with their children so the children can play together and parents can vent/chill/ask questions. Ive met two families there whom have become friends for me now and we spend time together outside of daycare, taking turns offering each other dinner, outings, playdates etc.
Get groceries or food delivered if your budget allows for it. Thrift clothes and toys when you have the time and energy for it, it saves you immense cash but it comes at the cost of your time and travel so be mindful to balance your energy. Babywear her often and she will soon associate your heartbeat with love and comfort. I wore my child almost 24/7 in the beginning but Im a fucking masochist lol, but I feel like it paid off. My child is very calm and sleeps through vacuuming or dishwashing because theyve always heard it from the beginning.
About their sleep why she didnt fall asleep after hospital: I was told by a childrens psychiatrist that babies have "sleep trains"; meaning if your baby missed her 3 o'clock train there might not be another train until next nap-window. I would comfort her, talk to her, say that I dont know exactly what you want but Im trying to figure it out etc as youre trying to help her decide if she'll catch a late sleep-train or wait until the next one.
Nonna I believe in you, I really do. You will raise a beautiful daughter, I know it in my heart.
No. 353282
>>353064>>353117Thank you both.
Also, I do have plenty of support…it’s just the reframing of my state of mind about breastfeeding being sexual due to the porn industry and the patriarchy that is the issue. Everything else is a-ok.
No. 353345
>>353334Anon I'm so sorry. My friend also had a similar experience and didn't get her period for several months just because of stress but you should still get a blood test. You can always have an abortion - an abortion is much better ethically than giving birth to a child if the birth is going to be traumatizing for you. If you feel you won't be able to bond with the child but don't want an abortion, you could always put the child up for abortion as well.
I hope you're not pregnant, please know that there are choices for you no matter how you feel and you're the only one that should have a say in these choices.
Also when something similar happens again, please seek urgent medical help. You can either take pills or get iuds after intercourse which can prevent pregnancy.
No. 353396
>>353345>>353346>>353359Thank you, it’s 5AM here and I’m going to get my blood tested at 7AM. I haven’t been able to sleep at all because I am too stressed. I even paid some astrology app to ask questions to someone even though I don’t even believe in astrology but it was just to reassure myself (it didn’t even work). I am trying to chill out but god I am on the verge of fainting.
I have the deep feeling that I am pregnant. Shaking but trying to act normal around my family, they’re all waking up to go to school or work. I am desperate and so scared
No. 353430
>>353396Sorry anon, it's truly awful this is happening to you. Can you get an abortion at least or is that illegal where you are? At 19 you should be able to get an abortion without your parents being informed. If you're really in a position where you're forced to bring the pregnancy to full term look into legally abandoning the newborn. In a lot of countries it is legal to abandon a newborn at the hospital or religious organisations.
Praying for you, let us know how it goes!
No. 353840
>>353835Monitor for sure but don't be overbearing about it, kids of parents who constantly stare over their shoulder will not feel comfortable being honest on their own with you and will want to hide things. Maybe install a web filter.
The best thing is to have discussion with kids about good internet use. Teach them privacy habits and about the risks of inappropriate websites, and be open to listening to their thoughts and experiences too. Nowadays it's normalized among their peers to do stuff like dump their personal details online or develop porn addiction so it's important to talk with them about how even though it's common, it's not healthy or safe. And just try to be approachable about the topic, you want them to feel comfortable coming to you if they're unsure about online content
No. 353916
File: 1697804001696.jpg (438.73 KB, 2652x2160, vits.jpg)
>>353912oops forgot the pic
No. 353958
>>353835I give them flip phones that are heavily restricted so they can just make emergency calls or plan events with other kids they know irl. Absolutely no discord, skype, TikTok, etc.
Does anyone know if private schools are as technology dependent? My friend told me about German schools in the Midwest that are very hands on and less technology. I might have to research more into those but a non religious private school would also be favorable
No. 354195
File: 1697943209371.jpg (9.77 KB, 442x442, 1697941393420671.jpg)
Can we talk about how fucked up it is that babies have come out of our vaginas and suck on our boobs?
I have a sensitive g-spot and nipples. It's going to feel when my kid is wriggling in my vagina during birth. And I want to breastfeed because I heard it's what's best for babies but I assume it's going to feel like my kid is sucking on my clit every time she wants to eat. Why are our bodies designed like this??(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
No. 354197
>>354195They don't 'wriggle' in your vagina. During birth you're going to be too high to feel anything other than pain you retard.
And breastfeeding is painful. Less like sucking on your clit and more like gnawing on your nipples.
No. 354614
I'm 14 weeks pregnant and went for my checkup today. Baby was friggin jumping in my womb. JUMPING. Like I saw the baby nearly smack their noggin on the top of my uterus. I thought I was out of mind thinking I could already feel movement, but my OB confirmed I could absolutely feel that kek. Has another nonna experienced this at 14 weeks? I didn't with my first. Kid was jumping so much they could hardly get the heart rate.
>>354208Like I'm 99.9% that creepy poster was a troon but I did know this one woman who swore up and down she had the most powerful orgasm of her life while giving birth. Apparently there's a name for it, idek what it was as I tuned her out for the rest of the evening. Fucking gross.
No. 354621
>>354615Aww I love that you had your little froggies!! So sweet and wonderful! I'm glad it's not unusual to have such activity, my daughter walked at 10 months so maybe the new babe will walk early like you say! I'm amazed you had twins, mad respect for you nonna. Thank you for your sweet words, I'm really excited to meet this little one.
>>354616When you put it that way, that makes sense and seems appropriate. I guess the lady I spoke to was just weird about how she described it. Almost lustful and salivating, it was unsettling.
No. 355473
Why are so many young people aggressive to young mothers? I’m not even 25, my daughter was born just over 4 months ago, and the only people who are welcoming to me are older moms.
Late wife and I had a lot of friends our age, and they wanted us to party, go clubbing, do a lot of things, but we couldn’t because of baby. They started acting all passive aggressive about this, even stating that our daughter “stole our love from them” WHAT????
When wife passed away, her funeral just happened yesterday, a lot of these friends came to say goodbye to her and offer condolences. But they were shocked to see me with our daughter. They asked why I haven’t given her up for adoption yet, since she wasn’t conceived with my egg. They told me that I’m throwing away my life for a baby who isn’t even a blood relative of mine, and that she’d be happier in another home with two parents. I was so pissed and I threw them the fuck out of the funeral.
The only people who have been supportive is wife's not-horrible family, her sister is 32 and invited me into her mommy group with other 30+ women. These women are so sweet and supportive, they even helped me when she started crying inconsolably. I love these older women. And I fucking hate those ex friends.
No. 355649
>>355473It does sound so bad it's fake
If it's real that fucking sucks and your friends are unfeeling jerks. How could you say that to someone grieving, I can't even imagine the type of person who would let alone a group of them
But yeah I do notice sometimes people are aggressive to mothers especially young people, I don't know why. I think it's the anti-natalism thing but they take it too far and just end up being rude to people who choose to, like some kind of projection thing
No. 355653
>>355496America, in a state known very entitled people. American culture is very “My life over everyone else. Everyone should cater to
me. Logic over empathy all the time.” And those friends are exactly that. They don’t like that my life is centered around my child, and that I’m miserable caring for her alone, so they “logically” believe that if she’s not there, my life will be easier. And they’re right, my life would be easier without her, but she’s my baby girl and I love her more than the world.
No. 355658
File: 1698526246338.jpg (293.53 KB, 1080x2400, Screenshot_20231029-074721_Flo…)
I just want to be pregnant ahhhhh
My basal thermometer package was stolen from our third story doorstep so I have to wait for another one
No. 355799
File: 1698613157743.gif (393.67 KB, 498x303, angry-cat-triggered.gif)
I'm at 9 weeks and told my mom but asked her not to tell any other family members until I'm further along. Two days later at a family function she "accidentally" announced it to everyone. I can't stop thinking that I'm now cursed and will have a miscarriage.
No. 355917
>>355799Sending good vibes and expectations all will go perfectly well. Try to keep a PMA and don't let her foolish slip up make you overly anxious, just rest and nourish yourself.
>>355800Dang have you had your baby yet?
No. 356162
>>356158Did you take them on an empty stomach? Anything with iron will make me throw up if it's on an empty stomach.
It's probably not baby related yet though, I didn't get nausea until a while after my missed period. They call it morning sickness but during my first pregnancy it was all day to the degree where I was afraid to go out because I kept puking. My current pregnancy I didn't have a moment of morning sickness, so it might happen it might not.
No. 356255
File: 1698867602171.jpg (142.25 KB, 588x442, 1000011237.jpg)
>>355961You will have about 2-3 hour 'chunks' of freetime between feedings and napping all throughout the day. Newborns don't have a day-night cycle distinction so a baby will sleep, eat, sleep, eat for the first two weeks for about 2 hours sleep- 1/1.5 hours eating/awake. Week three is when it gets much tougher, babies start connecting their naps together so you will need to play and do tummy time with the baby during the day and try to just feed/nap super quietly at night. Best hobby for me was crocheting, watching some cooking shows while drinking tea, drawing new art for the nursery. Highly recommend making high contrast art for babies, they love black and white art. Crocheting hats is also very fast and fun, great use of time to make cute outfits that are seasonally themed.
No. 356325
>>356208I planned. I went back and forth as to whether I not I wanted a kid, and knew if I had one, it would just be one. when my sister told me she was pregnant I took a hard look at my life and realized I have a great job and an okay house so for me it felt "now or never."
My sister's first child was while she was working part time and in college as an undergrad. She made it work even as a single mom, now owns a home, has two masters degrees, a good job and a husband. Her first kid is 12 now and is well adjusted and doing well.
I think you can be successful no matter how prepared you are and like
>>356250 said 9 months is a long time to get your house in order.
No. 356824
>>356822I'm not trying to talk you out of it, that's your prerogative, but a lot of people aren't financially or emotionally ready for children yet live very fulfilling lives by keeping their babies.
Unless you're very mentally ill, you will regret it even if its 100% the right thing to do.
Be sure of your decision and only do it for YOU, not for your partner.
It is something that will stay with you even when you do eventually have children when you're ready.
Just tell your work you have an urgent medical procedure and if they ask further just say its private sorry I don't want to talk about it.
No. 356879
>>355658>Sex every day all weekGet it anon
But on a serious note if you're TTC try to have sex every 2-3 days, sex everyday can make sperm less potent
No. 357141
>>357114Well may as well not reproduce with a moid then because cooming only once a day already counts as well adjusted for them, the vast majority of them do it twice a day at least and a man who only jerks off every 2-3 days is basically unheard of. They are monkeys who have to compulsively tug on their dicks.
>>357135At work, in the shower, in the bathroom when you think he is "pooping", while you are running an errand, while you are asleep, etc. Men always find a way to jerk off behind their partners back. They won't admit it to your face obviously.
No. 357163
>>357160Thank you! I'll try that. I was a B cup so I'm thinking a sports bra will be fine.
>>357162ayart, I didn't think about that and fully agree with you. I don't think she would be able to buy a home now, the home she owns is nicer than mine and was cheaper + she made about a 1/3 of what I make. The economy sucks.
No. 357167
I don't want my son to grow up in front of a screen. Initially my husband and I agreed on that prior to marriage, but now that our boy is here, he doesn't make an effort to keep him away. We live in a confined space of 600sq ft. and there's a massive TV in every room. I can't turn my infant away from it, without another being blatantly in his face. It's horrible for his eye development, but my husband's response is basically "too bad" instead of questioning the pervasive amount of electronics in out home. We had agreed to just have a TV only in the living room, so at least I could take my son to the bedroom where he wouldn't see a screen while feeding, but my husband just replaced the TV we had in our room with a new one. I can't get any peace. He has it turned on at night to sleep, and I am the opposite. I just want a quiet home. He wants more kids and is getting pissy, but I'm not dragging more people into this cramped, unpeaceful space. Children need to be grounded into the real world for several years before being introduced to electronics. Studies show impaired development, bad eyesight, and lower IQ before the age of 3. At the very least, we should wait that long.
No. 357169
File: 1699222020653.gif (164.88 KB, 220x165, im-tired.gif)
>>357167Have you brought up the studies to him? Have you reminded him of what you both agreed upon? Having a tv in multiple rooms in a 600 sqft space is wild. He needs to keep tv time to when your son is asleep or away. I'm sorry you're in such a shit situation.
For the bedroom, can you suggest a white noise machine + a nightlight? There are a ton of options now with different types of sounds. Wishing you luck nona I hope he comes around.
unrelated but this gif is a daily conversation with myself. I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore.
No. 357257
>>357254For me it was so, so worth it. My daughters bring so much joy and light into my life, and contrary to scrote rhetoric, my body is not “ruined.” Two years PP and my body is pretty much exactly as it was before (plus a few stripes of course). I always wanted to be a mom though, and i get a lot of fulfillment/contentment out of teaching them and watching them learn and grow, so much so that when there are fussy or sick days or days I am very tired, I still wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have a wife who helps me though, and a mom and MIL who also are available often to help with things well. I go to therapy once a week. I think having the right partner is so crucial—unless you are very rich and want to just do it alone, which is pretty based also. I’m not gonna lie, it’s about self sacrifice and quite a lot of it, but if you have at least a partner who does their fair share and picks up the slack/unburdens you when you need it, you aren’t going to burn out completely. Newborn days were a lot, their first year was a lot, but they just turned 2 and they’re so smart and funny and absolutely sweet. They teach me just as much as I teach them. My wife and babies are the best thing that ever happened to me.
BUT, tldr; there are a lot of arguments that can be made against having children and they are
valid. It’s about what’s right for YOU.
No. 357260
>>357259Hmmm, is there anyway you could arrange the PC so its not facing the baby?
The phone thing at least needs to be cut.
No. 357360
File: 1699335538386.jpg (831.36 KB, 1280x853, 8-x-18-custom-blank-canvas-mad…)
>>357167I used to live in a loft apartment that was renovated from a 100+ year old building. We got these big stretched canvases and used them to divide a section of the loft into a sortakinda TV room. Try that.
No. 357375
>>357360This might work. Thanks anon. I bought a canvas kids tent on Amazon to give my son a separate space, but I think even that is too big.
>>357372Wishful thinking you're pregnant, or that you tested a week early? You don't know until at least 1 day after your missed period, and sometimes it takes a few days after that for cheapie tests or if you ovulated late.
No. 357514
>>357506Congratulations! I find out tomorrow and am hoping for a similar results. I have one older sister and we have a great relationship.
I started experiencing round ligament pain today and this sucks, I never want to be pregnant again.
No. 357554
>>357514Ahh best of luck!! Let us know the news when you come back, thank you for your sweet words. Ugh round ligament pain sucks, but it will get better at some point. Prenatal yoga, even just basic vids on YouTube really help me. Hang in there.
>>357525Thank you nonna, that puts my mind at ease. I can deal with labor, and the idea of her head actually filling out hats is super cute. My first daughter's hats were always big kek. I just want her to be healthy and happy. Already picked out a name, I love her so much.
No. 357817
I finally got permission to get rid of the oversized oak table!
>>357708The evidence for the tdap shot is lacking; there isn't sufficient research to conclude any measurable benefit from the amount of antibodies mother has passed from the placenta, as it's very little. It's up to you if getting the vaccine is worth the potential it might protect your family. I got it. As for your family, it's your baby, and your recovery. You're not rude to make them wait as long as you are respectful in voicing your boundaries.
No. 357908
>>357586Me again, I tested today because still no period and it said negative.
My app was on time last month.
Wishful thinking but maybe the tests are wrong??
I'll wait another week or so before buying another test.
I have small cramp feelings though.
Could my pre natal vitamins i've been taking affect that at all?
Within the last week I've had heart flutters too?
No. 358313
>>357908Still no period, I'm having tiny cramping though?
>>357913The test I took was a "early detection" one that apparently shows up 6 days before a period.
If I dont get my period next week I'm going to buy a different test and test again. Trying hard not to think I'm pregnant though
No. 358319
>>315541I have a redpill stalker who shamed me for wanting to go out to a bar with friends something I never get to do and I am not breastfeeding. Men like this suffer from some sort of Norman Bates like psychosis and I hope any women in their lives are at a safe distance because you know these motherfuckers rack up dv charges like its nothing.
You have a right to alone time, interests outside of care taking, as well as a night out or two every once in a while. Unless you're railing lines of drugs in front of your kid or just leaving them alone you're doing fine.
No. 358366
File: 1699808805061.jpg (96.78 KB, 804x439, 1000006929.jpg)
I feel like cervix tracking is just absolutely and utter bullshit and woo. Not the mucus but the position/opening. It literally is different for me every single day and during different times of the day. Up and down like a fucking yoyo and open and closes like a fish mouth. There is zero consistency in it'a behavior. Is my cervix just bipolar or what? Do any of you actually have a cervix that behaves like in the diagrams?
No. 358549
>>358432Never met an ivf kid that hasnt had a slew of health issues/mental retardation.
And tbh ops genes might be perfectly fine, its probably a mattter of incompatible genes with her partner. Most women who have fertility issues "magically" get pregnant when they get with a different man.
No. 358567
>>358557The likelihood of #2 being born on the same day is pretty slim. If they're a few days out then you could have parties one weekend and the weekend after.
It's up to you if you want to skip next month, but personally I wouldn't.
Also you could get pregnant later but have complications and the baby has to be delivered early.
No. 358598
>>358313Still no period.. trying not to be excited.
If I am pregnant, would it be too soon to announce on Christmas?
No. 358624
>>358621lmao
nonny! don't call your baby a scrote lol
No. 358656
File: 1699918354248.jpg (159.84 KB, 1500x1500, 71wCRYepJsL.jpg)
I'm trying to figure out when it will be appropriate to tell my director I'm pregnant. I'm currently 11 weeks and things are going well.
Everyone at my workplace is super supportive and most are women. All of my co-workers have had births while working here and my workplace is in general very family oriented. My current boss knows but is going on maternity leave next week so my director will become my supervisor while she is out. My boss has not told the director nor HR but given that I have a lot of dr. Appointments I think I should tell my director?
When did you all tell your workplace officially?
No. 358672
>>358669Almost a year, our probation is 6 months so I'm officially full-time. It's a public job but there is no union and my government has an "at-will" stance on employment meaning you can be fired for lots of silly reasons. Another employee in my dept deferred her employment by 4 months so she could have her baby before starting which is wild to me.
Thanks for your feedback, waiting is probably the best bet.
No. 358774
>>358492Average misbegotten front pole abandonment issues+obsolescence panic.
Btw, why does the baby automatically need mommy? I thought fathers were important and essential.
No. 358846
>>358774Because when kids want to have fun people assume it's going to do exciting stuff with dad, when something is wrong the mom gets blamed. You can even see it in adulthood - if a kid is successful people credit their dad, if a kid grew up to suck it's because Mom didn't try hard enough
>Inb4 muh single mom study!A lot of the times those kids come from already broken homes but the mom was just the one who stayed, nevermind the fact this mindset alone creates more criminals because it attempts to dodge blame from the actual criminal and blame it on the mom
No. 358886
File: 1700032084619.jpg (148.4 KB, 780x585, OB_C_1083-library_medium.jpg)
>>358863During a C-section, a doctor makes an incision through seven different layers of tissue. You then have to heal from that shit while taking care of a newborn. There is nothing wrong with having a C-section but they're absolutely not the easy way out.
No. 359586
File: 1700287743956.jpg (467.33 KB, 1080x2340, Screenshot_20231118_010528_Chr…)
Why the fuck is due date 40 weeks when the average is 40 weeks and 6 days and only 50% of women give birth before then?
Doctor said he's going to induce labor if I go near 41 weeks and I'm 39 weeks tomorrow. I'm eating dates and breast pumping to try and speed this up
No. 359626
>>359586I was 11 days overdue. And they estimated I was further along than what my last period would calculated the due date as because I got a heartbeat super early And the baby looked more developed, I was probably damn near 2-3 weeks overdue really.
Unless you're having any sort of complications just assume you'll be overdue because it happens to most women
No. 359699
>>359586Tell your doc to fuck off, he's not going to do shit unless you consent to it. Babies come when tey're ready and your placenta doesn't just expire after 40/41/42 weeks.
Also be weary of them wanting to do a cervical check, because if they're very induction-happy they might sweep your membrames without even asking
No. 360000
>>359858Sending you hugs and support, that's not an easy situation to be in at all.
Think about it logically. You got an abortion for a reason. It was an unplanned pregnancy, would you have been able to take care of the baby? Your boyfriend 'got over it' already, does that seem like dad material to you? If you'd had the baby, would he have pulled his weight? How much did you have on your plate, and how possible would it have been for you to carry and take care of a child as well?
I'm so sorry you went through this but again, you did go through with the abortion for a reason. Of course looking at it logically won't make the situation any easier but it does give you a clearer perspective of why you made that decision in the first place.
No. 360206
I'm a little bit worried we stirred up our baby too much… Since she was born my husband has always played "rough" with her, but never out of proportion to her age. I was really happy with the progress up until now (she is 9 months old). He theorised that play and bodily exercise was going to be really good for her development and he did a lot of tummy time with her and she is already walking and saying two words over and over, so I know it has paid off for her in a lot of ways. She is just now lately… really strong, active, energetic, and she squirms and pushes me and wriggles out of my arms and is getting demanding and has high energy needs and, yeah… I guess all put in a list like that they sound like good things, and they are, but she never slows down or calms down and cuddles with us and I partially think it's because her Dad has been so full on with her from the beginning. He hasn't done anything wrong, he had a theory that her development would be tied to physical play, and he was right in a lot of ways, it was all done with careful consideration, it's just now I'm worried it has kind of backfired on us and she will be a danger to other kids at places like daycare.
No. 360491
File: 1700643425184.jpg (120.97 KB, 1500x1489, 71Fj1UX3dQL._AC_SL1500_.jpg)
Did any of you guys get one of those maternity pillow ? Was it useful and did it give you a comfy sleep ? It looks so gigantic to me…
No. 360495
>>360206Teaching her to be able to calm down and relax is important. Children need to be able to wind down or they'll stress themselves out.
Place some importance on soothing and calming types of play too, and times of doing nothing.
No. 360599
>>360491My husband got me one of these things. I hate/love it. I like the long tube part since i was a side sleeper prior to pregnancy and it helps me a lot to alleviate some of the discomfort like back pain.
What I hate, is the fact that it wraps around. I'd like to be able to at least feel my husband next to me. I also hate the pillow part because I'd rather use my pillow.
I would personally go for just the single long tube pillows.
I'm not brave enough to tell my husband I hate it, since it was a very sweet surprise.
No. 361179
File: 1700967268380.jpg (1.13 MB, 4032x3024, 20231126_135337.jpg)
Idk what im doing wrong with my basal tracking but my temp goes up and down heaps
No. 361265
File: 1701011829488.jpeg (101.69 KB, 750x942, 34CEEE9E-6038-43C4-B8DE-9C0921…)
Pretty cranky about this. This kid is just squirming around and ramming up against my cervix for the past 2 weeks, like please vacate the premises now.
No. 361563
>>361491It's just luck. I'm a medfag and I knew a mother and a father aged 20-21yet their child had two metabolic disorders.
You can use ivf, it decreases the chances of some of the diseases that have known genetic defects. Good luck, don't lose hope.
No. 361735
>>361654Same. Also even with my wedding band dudes keep hitting on me when they see me with my babies. They obviously don't believe me that I'm not available and not interested, and then get shocked when my husband turns up.
There's always this air of "you should be honoured that I'm considering a used person like you"
No. 362833
>>362811Tokophobia tends to be a
valid reason.
No. 362874
>>362815If you’re already in labor this can be really difficult, because if the baby is descended too far down it’ll have to be an emergency cesarean which is apparently way more dangerous if you’re already in the process of giving birth.
>>362811 If you’re trying to elect a C-section its always better to be upfront about that birth plan preference with your provider/obstetrician to see what your options are once the time comes, because I’m sure they’d be willing to grant you one if you’re paying out of pocket.
No. 362884
>>362811currently pregnant rn, in a due date group I'm in several women have requested elective caesareans when they go to deliver. Don't wait till you're in labor, they will schedule it beforehand.
that said, recovery can be shit (vaginal birth recovery can also be shit!)
No. 362954
>>362889I’ve never undergone pregnancy so I'm sorry for speaking out of line here, but there are health risks associated with c-sections, both for the mother and the child. I don’t think women should get hate for having had a delivery by c-section, but I think it’s misinformed to think it’s a walk in the park, or entirely the same as giving vaginal birth. There is evidence babies delivered by c-section are more prone to autoimmune diseases amongst other things, probably because vaginal birth helps establishing the child’s gut microbiota. These days I think it’s normal to give the baby a bacterial swab after c-section delivery, which remedies this to some degree.
Anyway, I’ve read that it’s becoming increasingly normal in US hospital to pressure mothers into undergoing c-sections if they are not able to give vaginal birth on whatever schedule the clinic had in mind (I think within a day), simply due to cost efficiency. Imo this is a dystopian development that treats women like livestock. Of course vaginal birth is associated with its own risks, but in my conservative opinion c-sections should be performed only when medically necessary. That doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to hate on women who chose to have them for x y z reason, I just think it’s an unfortunate development.
No. 363006
>>362954I think people definitely underestimate the recovery/process of a c section compared to vaginal
Ime just from people I know who did vaginal vs c section, the recovery and complications are wayyyyy harder with a c section. It's basically a football sized wound in your abdomin going through the muscle wall and into the womb. It's no walk in the park
No. 363028
File: 1701799669195.jpg (361.73 KB, 1079x1368, Screenshot_20230929_142802.jpg)
have any of you achieved pregnancy with late ovulation? i am on day 17 of my cycle, have yet to ovulate, and am afraid of a short luteal phase and being unable to conceive. if i am not successful this cycle, i'll have to wait until next year because i have summers off of work and can't afford to take leave any other time of the year. i am sure that stress isn't helping.
No. 363100
>>362889I think C sections can have more complications, better for multiples, etc
when you become a mother, regardless of what you do, people will hate you for it because, as mentioned in the thread, the world somehow hates mothers while expecting them to do anything and everything. I can see why some women get c section because some insurances will only give mothers more postpartum care if they had a c section. This means more days in the hospital, PROPER pain relief, night nurses being paid for, etc. where as if you get a vaginal birth you're typically just shunned aside
No. 363288
>>363119Thanks
nonnie. It was negative but still no sign of my period. I'm wondering if I should wait another week or two and doing the dip method instead if my period still doesn't show up. It's out of the norm for me to have one this late.
No. 363502
>>363473you kinda proved the point anon
> Fentanyl being offered as the only pain relief>kept you for 2 days and that's itthat shouldn't be standard and keeping you for only 2 days (3-4 days is peak for baby irritability and postpartum pain, and risk of postpartum complications)
mix that with the fact it's rare for friends and family to help out with the newborn and ofc insurance refuses to cover postpartum doulas or night nurses
No. 364408
>>364381Ayart
I thought about this, and it would be a great idea if I wasn't an idiot and already told people I know the gender but am keeping it a secret.
No. 364547
>>364453Not trying to be sassy, but if 1.5k is too expensive, you can't afford kids.
>>364508Some women have posted about laying a towel down and sleeping topless. I always wore a shirt I didn't care for. If you produce a lot, it might be an issue. Invest in a waterproof mattress cover.
No. 364880
I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable. I offered my boyfriend to move in with me when the baby comes. Only thing is I don’t want his cats, don’t get me wrong I adore his kitties. I have my own cat, but mine is trained and very clean. The apartment is really small, and I know my cat and his will fight. He has two I have one. My place only allows ESA too, and his cats are not. The part the bothers me is his are annoying, they whine and whine, one smells bad bc he is retarded and doesn’t groom well (vet checked and nothing is wrong). They don’t have boundaries and scratch, climb on stuff, and just arnt trained shelter cats. What I can’t handle is one tracks shit and cat litter everywhere, it’s not the cats fault his paws are huge and it gets stuck, but there is shit all over the pillows, bed, sofa, floor. It’s not clean, I don’t want these dirty cats around my baby. I don’t want him to get rid of the cats, but I wish they could stay somewhere until we could afford a bigger place that is not an apartment, then we take the cats back. I don’t want him to move in if his dirty kitties are coming too, is that wrong? I’d rather be by myself.
No. 365160
>>364508I just wear a super loose sports bra, it's like a size too big so it just feels like loose cloth.
Otherwise I just it flow, gets on the bed but we've got cheap sheets down rn so I can feed baby on bed and not worry. They'll get throw out once he's not feeding
No. 366238
I had my first kid young, I was worried about it, but I decided to cause my parents had me when they were too old, so I had to see my mom develop early onset dementia when I was barely a teen, and I didn't want my kids to experience that.
She was healthy, and the cutest baby, but I had a lot of complications, and almost died out of bloodloss at birth. It took us almost a year, with a lot of focusing on fertility windows to conceive, we even thought about checking out IVF, but everything seemed normal health wise. I thought it was supposed to be easier since I was young.
Second kid I developed awful hiperemesis, worse than the first time. Second month in and I was at the hospital, and we decided it was better to terminate. I was worried that seeing me sick and being unable to take care of her was going to affect my first kid. We thought that maybe if we waited until she was older it could be better. We were thinking about trying again, but last night I had a nightmare were I had a stillbirth, and remembered that if there's a lot of time between pregnancies, the possibilities of having complications are more. I'm gonna tell my husband that I'm too scared of almost dying again to try for another kid. It sucks cause I love children, I love my kid. It breaks my heart that I won't be able to give her a sibling.
No. 366933
File: 1703152607133.jpg (568.35 KB, 3024x1493, 20231221_065108.jpg)
It's my turn!
I went and got bloodwork done today so I'll find out in a week or so if it's actually positive. It would be such a huge relief to me if I can get pregnant that easy, I've always wanted to be a mother and my luck is awful so I had it in my head that it will be hard. Fingers crossed!
I have some cramping though, I'm meant to be 4 days in on my period so I've just assumed it's issues around that?
No. 367055
>>366933The turn around for my tests was fast, I'm 3 weeks pregnant!!
I'm still having cramping though? Hope all is well, this baby is very wanted.
No. 367257
File: 1703245107245.png (20.28 KB, 657x419, preg.png)
>>366933>>367055I'm now doubting my results. What do you nonas think?
The top line reads like I'm 70IU/L right? What does the <2 mean?
Have to wait at least a week to talk to a dr irl about it
No. 367265
>>367145Happy for you nonna!
>>367257I peed on 2 different tests and both positive within 30 seconds. Happy days!
No. 367799
>>367777Are you not getting a dating scan (6-7weeks)?
I'm 4 weeks and also feel a bit miserable, I've felt nauseous all day and had cramping too.
No. 367983
>>367799Me again, I'm 4 weeks pregnant and had this awful cramping, like a mix between period cramping and food poisoning that woke me up.
I went to sit on the loo hoping that would solve the problem but the cramping had nothing to do with it.
It's gone now and everyone I speak to says cramping is normal this early on but wtf??
Everything is closed because of Christmas tomorrow, I have a Dr appointment Thursday.
When do people know when to go to the hospital over pain like that?
Surely it's not normal??
It lasted maybe 10 mins max. No bleeding. I hope baby is ok
No. 367992
>>367985The cramping was 10 hours ago, it passed and I've not had bleeding since
>>367986I did have brussle sprouts but I've had cramping on and off all week, but maybe like 10% pain compared to my bad cramping. I sure hope its just gas, tmi but I tried to go #2 during (thinking that might be the reason) and there wasnt much.
I guess I'm on edge because its my first pregnancy and the baby is very wanted.
No. 369017
>>368011>>367992I've had bad cramping every day for like 10 mins or so.
I seriously can't tell if it's just gas.
I farted today during it and it went away faster.
The amount of cramping surely can't just be gas right? It's like the worst period cramping I get. How can gas hurt all the way across my abdomen?
No. 369100
>>367801Nah that's not normal, at least not for those who are insured. I would contact your local social services offices and inquire about state insurance. Just in case nonita.
>>369017Gas while pregnant can absolutely be felt all over your abdomen, and hurt like hell. I woke up last night with it and had to aggressively release it in the bathroom for like twenty minutes lmao. Pregnancy yoga and stretching helps quite a bit.
No. 370375
currently 6 weeks and can't stomach anything. i was eating very healthy for the first weeks, spinach, avocado, eggs, broccoli, chicken, smoothies, etc, but now the thought of anything i had been eating before makes me want to puke. all i have been able to get down are plain things like cheerios, crackers, and broth. feeling miserable every day, and worried this subpar diet will have an impact on baby's growth. have been diligent with the prenatals, but is it really enough?
No. 371053
File: 1704405412988.jpg (123.53 KB, 800x800, aow-st21000-2.jpg)
Are there any cute animal kigurumis for babies that aren't made out of spider pubes and arsenic in a Chinese sweatshop with nets outside the windows so the slaves can't kill themselves? My baby loves cozy outfits like this but shady Chinese companies seem to be the only ones selling them..
No. 371083
File: 1704419938104.jpg (211.01 KB, 1170x2532, 1gjsosqlvkb91.jpg)
I gave birth a few months ago and I am shocked by how "human" little babies can be. After reading rationalist arguments about how there is nothing morally wrong with eating babies I expected newborns to be mindless balls of reflexes but no, even fresh out of the womb they are more like adults with fevers so nasty they just want to sleep and eat soup than the weird pseudo-human automatons I imagined.
My two month old is currently obsessed with lights. She loves ceiling lights and laser pointers the way bigger kids love transformers. One months ago her obsession was music and being held by someone who is dancing. Before that she slept most of the time but she had a clear preference for velvet swaddles and certain types of bottles.
No. 371101
>>371083>I expected newborns to be mindless balls of reflexesa reasonable mistake anyone inexperienced with babies could make
>After reading rationalist arguments about how there is nothing morally wrong with eating babies,and now it's a sentence you could only find on an imageboard. I love you.
No. 371182
>>371083Kek nonna, ilu. Don't listen to anything moids say, they never know what they're talking about, and the uwu rational ones are just as delusional as the openly crazy ones.
You baby sounds so sweet, she's only 2 months old and already so much smarter than the moid in your picrel.
No. 371356
>>371351Thank you so much nona. Its my first time being pregnant so I had no idea all the little bits that go into it.
I'm going for my dating scan in 4 days, I'm hoping all is well with my little one
No. 372034
It’s one of those nights, nonnas. My daughter is 3, and she has a weird sleep schedule. Ever since she started sleeping on her own, she wakes up every morning around 1-4 AM, it’s usually just to go to the bathroom, get water, or a small snack. She usually wakes me up too, because she’s scared of the dark and being alone, but it’s not a big deal, I usually need to pee around this time anyways. She is generally back in bed within 10 minutes.
Her bedtime is usually 9:30 pm, but last night, she went to sleep at 8 because we had a very active day, and she was sleepy early. I didn’t think an hour and a half difference would make her so energetic. She woke up at midnight, she got her snack, and I read to her. I usually stay for the 10 minutes it takes for her to fall back asleep, but she just couldn’t. I could tell she was trying, she kept her eyes closed, but couldn’t stop tossing and turning.
Eventually, she just got frustrated because she can’t sleep, so right now, she’s just playing with her dolls in a dim light, and I’m playing soothing music to hopefully tire her out. She hasn’t had a night where she’s so energetic so early since she was maybe 15 months old. I wish I had a way to help her sleep through the entire night, but I’m the same way, and I’ve been like that since I was a little girl. I can’t even make myself sleep through the entire night.
No. 372374
>>372034my best advice is to switch sleep-related things until it works
first take any screens out of the room, or objects that can distract with sleeping
then use black out WINDOW COVERS (not curtains)
then try different white noise machines, air purifiers and a humidifier with essential oils, find a good routine like sleep baths (melatonin bath salts and bubbles)
before bed make sure shes full and try sleep teas and filling food (but low carb low sugar)
if neither of those works try replacing the bed, pillows, sheets, etc with something more comfortable
No. 372382
>>372374I’ll try these things out, I’ve been wanting to get her black out curtains for a while now, but never had a reason to because she was fine without. I think that night was just extra bad because she fell asleep early and woke up with too much energy, she ended up falling asleep around 5 AM. We played in low light for a while, and when she started looking sleepy, I brought her to my bed. She doesn’t sleep in my bed unless she has nightmares, but I was also too tired to take her to her own bed. We cuddled, and slept until noon. Luckily, I have this entire week off, so it’s no skin off my back if I sleep in. She woke up today at her usual time.
Her bedtime routine is pretty similar to what you described. She usually has a snack an hour before she sleeps (no bigger than a bowl of cereal), then a bath half an hour before she sleeps. I find that she really likes night baths, and the warm water makes her relax. I’m still not sure why she wakes up every night in the middle of the night, but it’s usually to pee or get water. She goes back to sleep within 10 minutes of this, so it doesn’t really effect her sleep all that much, she still gets 11-12 hours of sleep. She slept well last night, and she’s in bed right now, so I think it was probably just a random rough night. I’ve thought about melatonin gummies for her to sleep all night, but she’s only 3, and I don’t want to mess up her brain chemistry while it’s still developing. Plus I had nightmares and sleep paralysis when I took melatonin, so there’s a chance she may have that too
No. 372397
I'm always feeling like I'm failing at being a mom while simultaneously feeling that expectations are ridiculously high for parenting nowadays. My boy is 1 month old and my lactation consultant who also does his weighs and wellness checks lectures me everytime for not doing daily oral exercises, whole body massages, face massages, skin to skin, holding him 24/7, following an OT book on daily developmental exercises, tummy time and also doing his stretches for his torticollis while also somehow finding time to look after myself. Don't get me wrong, I do all the exercises for his torticollis, he gets his tummy time, I exclusively breastfeed, play with him, sing to him and make eye contact, but how the fuck am I supposed to keep up with all of this extra shit in one day? He's developmentally fine, is gaining weight well, he's very alert and interactive for his age so why am I shamed about not doing every new Instagram exercise/activity? How did babies develop before all of this? I know it's not rational to feel guilty about it but I still do
No. 372398
>>372397you should find a new LC and check reviews please
sage for tinfoil but an anon mentioned foster agencies pay people to promote unrealistic parenting standards so people are more likely to give up their children when they don't feel like good enough parents
No. 372489
>be me, single mom, 8 months pregnant
>I sleep on my back sometimes for short periods, side sleeping through the night
>I wake up from my nap, completely unable to move my lower body
>wtf
>no matter how hard I try to do anything, even curl my toes, I can’t move
>panic because I live alone, call 911
>I tell them I’m pregnant when they ask
>”Try rolling to your side”
>I do, and about 5 minutes later, I slowly regain control of my legs
>ask wtf happened
>”Sometimes your baby will put its weight on your spinal chord, and stop the nerve signals from being able to reach your legs”
I just learned this today, why did nobody tell me about this!!!
No. 372783
>>372505How old are you?
If you're like 22/23 then yeah I'd have to say he's right. Coming from already having a kid, it's hard to fathom how much of your time it's going to eat up. You should get anything fun or big out of the way now because there's a significant loss of autonomy, at least get one big international trip in.
If you're 34/35 then you're right. I know some people who waited and ended up regretting that because there was difficulty in conceiving, which it was hard to tell if age played a factor and also there's a lot of added stress and urgency. Plus difficult to have multiple if you're planning that. Men also tend to cling to their youth more, and sometimes there's hesitant to face the reality that it's time
If its inbetween you should sit him down and get some concrete plans going, make a plan for one big trip, or a hard due date for an accomplishment, then have the kid. Otherwise this wishy washy attitude could delay things and land you in a tight spot.
No. 373084
File: 1705107392128.jpg (42.04 KB, 400x400, s-l400.jpg)
>Limited edition diapers
Does Disney expect people to keep used diapers as souvenirs or something?
No. 373757
>>372783I agree with this. there are some benefits especially if you're planning to have less than 2 kids, in general having your first one in your twenties is ideal simply due to the age timeline. I know a lot of people who resent their parents because they weren't able to see them graduate college, get married, have kids, and be in their grandkids' life because they had them too old, etc
don't eat moid propaganda about age though they're unironically starting to think women go into menopause at 28
No. 374115
File: 1705519195333.jpg (152.2 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)
My two month old loses his mind when I show him high contrast illusions and it is the cutest thing I have ever seen. I am so glad I chose to have a child.
No. 374117
File: 1705519566652.jpeg (24.53 KB, 507x286, prevalence-chart.jpeg)
>>373757It's not just the timeline, it's also that risks of birth defects and pregnancy complications increase as the parents get older. Having kids in your early 20's is optimal from a health point of view.
No. 374157
File: 1705531920730.png (19.91 KB, 800x530, Spectrum-MaternalPaternalCh.pn…)
>>374126But it hurts women to be told there are no risks to waiting when it's not true. Someone who really wants children and wants the best possible odds of having healthy kids should start early if they can afford it.
No. 374162
>>374157Ntayrt but maternal mortality is lowest at age 30, so combining that with other factors (eg financial stability) 30-34 would still be the best age range, no?
Either way like the other anon said, the difference is marginal and you’d probably see bigger differences on rates of smokers vs non-smokers and obese vs non-obese, no reason why this small difference would be more important.
No. 374368
File: 1705634305689.jpeg (88.41 KB, 1200x800, IMG_4076.jpeg)
>>374215Maybe your circumstances will allow it, but if you do decide to try it, buy used in case it didn’t work out. I tried a diaper service. The lack of stay-dry layer gave my baby a rash despite frequent changes, and I wasted so much time trying to wrap a prefold around a newborn. I switched to the pocket diaper option the service offered. Once I figured out how to stop leaks, it was still right on baby’s thighs, and I couldn’t use most diaper creams. I started walking pocket diapers on my own. It turns out my apartment building has a hot option on the washer, but the water isn’t actually hot. I wasted so much money troubleshooting this. The real issue was time as I work from home while watching baby. I use disposables now and can use the diaper cream my baby needs. I still keep a second pail for fabrics that need to be double washed on hot (something my husband eventually made possible through an unauthorized modification to the plumbing) and I use flats for handling my baby before and after baths.
One thing I do like is casual elimination communication. I started once my baby could sit on a potty, around 3.5 months. She still wears diapers, but they are often dry for many hours at a time, because I remove them to offer the potty. It’s especially nice to avoid very messy poop diapers, and to give her a chance to go before getting in the car. If you want to reduce your diaper usage, this is a way to do it.
No. 375320
>>375316NTA but she said
she’s not ready for it due to her own circumstances. It’s great that you would have been fine with it and that others might have been fine with it, but that’s not really the point of her post.
No. 375626
>>375293I really think it would be good for your daughter to have a younger sibling. I think it would help with her neediness.
If you're not ready yourself then youre not ready though.
What does your partner think?
No. 375729
>>375692You're a saint; thank you for your kind answer - that absolutely seems the way to go!
There's a lot of activities one can do with her kid(s) around here, so I'll maybe use that to get in contact with some other moms? Unfortunately I'm a socially inept loner tho… but I'll try my best!
>>375626That's something I considered as well - it might be hard for her at first, but maybe she'll profit from it in the long run.
But I'm SCARED. I do not have to go through with the pregnancy if I don't want to (help is rather accsessible here), but I'm absolutely not sure if I could live with this decision. My partner is rather blasé about the whole issue - mind you, it would mean 1% stress for him and 99% for me since I do all the child rearing…
No. 376507
File: 1706646761694.jpeg (21.43 KB, 488x488, GUEST_0cab2d78-b8e5-4a63-9773-…)
How come most mobiles come in bland colors babies can't see (humans are somewhat colorblind until they reach five months old) and have dangling things that face outside the crib instead of the baby? A baby that has this mobile would just see blurry beige animal bellies for months…
No. 376933
File: 1706888175542.jpg (366.43 KB, 1080x2340, 1000005688.jpg)
>>376507I bought this one for my baby since its cheap and black and white. I thought maybe baby mobiles were a waste of money but as soon as I put it up he started looking at it and smiling, kicking his feet to shake his bassinet so it would shake, I can leave him in there for 20 min and he'll entertain himself
No. 378485
File: 1707590761490.gif (170.49 KB, 220x340, awkward-straight.gif)
My scrotalicious husband doesn't talk to the baby. He thinks it's the intelligent thing to do because obviously the baby doesn't understand English. But he doesn't realize that hearing language and watching facial expressions is how humans learn to communicate. He also keeps heating up too much of my pumped milk "because even if we throw out a bunch you can just make more", unaware of the sacrifices I have to make to get that milk out. Very frustrating.
No. 378515
>>378485You need to take him to your next dr visit for the baby and tell the dr in front of him that your husband isnt engaging with your baby. Let the dr shame the fuck out of him. This is fucking weird and he should be shamed into the ground over it.
>>376754I am so sorry to hear this nona. I am just so so sorry.
No. 378569
File: 1707637882386.gif (2.98 MB, 500x500, 1000006021.gif)
Where/how do you all find local birthing groups? I'm almost in my third trimester and all of my irl friends either have toddlers or are not having kids. My insurance doesn't provide a birthing group and the peanut app is a hellhole. I just want to find normal people who I can eat lunch with.
No. 378953
File: 1707787711565.jpg (355.37 KB, 1500x1500, 1703536731692103.jpg)
>>310088>>378950The foreskin is the most sensitive and erogenous part of a penis.
>Nature designed the foreskin to be an erogenous sensory organ.[15] The foreskin has a layer of muscle called the dartos muscle sheath that provides the foreskin with elasticity, flexibility, and stretchiness, which allows full stimulation of the nerves in the ridged band that sense movement and stretching to provide foreskin sensitivity. There is a mucocutaneous region at the tip of the foreskin where outer skin changes to inner mucosa. Winkelmann (1959) identified the foreskin as a specific erogenous zone (meaning an area of acute erogenous sensation). Winklemann reported rete ridges in the foreskin with nerves set close to the surface with closely set networks.[9]Lakshamanan & Prakash (1980) report the "prepuce covers the glans completely and snugly like a hosiered material and continues to do so through the entire span of life of the male", which they explain as being caused by the smooth muscle fibers within the prepuce. The prepuce is free to glide back and forth. When it does, it must stretch to go over the glans penis.[7]
>The foreskin is a sexual organ.[15] It provides both mechanical and erogenous functions in sexual intercourse, as well as pheromones.[3] Winkelmann (1959) classified the foreskin as specific erogenous tissue.[9] When the penis becomes erect, the foreskin unfolds to provide the skin necessary to allow the penis to expand to full size and length.The gliding action provides stimulation and facilitates intromission.[8][21] [22] At times of sexual arousal, the foreskin may be lubricated by pre-ejaculate. During the thrusting of sexual congress, the gliding action reduces abrasions and irritation in the female partner and avoids problems with vaginal dryness.[8][21] The foreskin may protect the corona glandis from hyper-stimulation and prevent premature ejaculation.
Male circumcision is male genital mutilation, just as female circumcision is female genital mutilation. No mother who loves her children would ever mutilate her children's genitals.
No. 378960
>>378957Genital mutilation is child abuse and should be treated as such
I agree, genital mutilation is child abuse.
Some more resources with link to scientific articles:
https://www.cirp.org/library/anatomy/https://en.intactiwiki.org/wiki/Foreskin No. 378962
File: 1707789259095.jpg (1.51 MB, 3509x2481, Infographic_Foreskin.jpg)
>>378960I forgot to post this picture.
No. 379184
>>378976are you lost? this is a baby thread, many mothers here have sons and will make a decision to circumcise or not
I'm against circumcision but the amount of misogynistic moids in those communities make it so hard to be against
No. 379315
File: 1707961113021.jpg (166.38 KB, 960x720, sf-pride-13-march.jpg)
>>379184>the amount of misogynistic moids in those communities make it so hard to be againstWhere are you finding misogynistic men in those communities? If you mean criticism of feminism then that's not necessarily misogynistic, since criticism of feminism doesn't mean criticism of women's rights. Modern feminism is flawed because although 3rd wave feminists keep telling everyone that feminism fights for the rights of boys and men as well and fights against gender inequality, few feminists are actually concerned with extending protections of the right of bodily autonomy, a right which is rightfully protected for females in first-world countries, to males. The inherent right to bodily autonomy of both males and female should be protected. For example, for all of the talk of "my body, my choice" coming from so called "feminists" such as the singer Pink, the hypocrite Pink still mutilated her son's genitals, and got angry when an intactivist put up his phone with a message criticising her child-abuse at one of her concerts.
(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE) No. 379364
File: 1707978297956.png (129.23 KB, 360x450, hQBXs5w.png)
this could be fun a test.
No. 379365
File: 1707978320959.png (142.89 KB, 360x450, 7ESQtee.png)
No. 379371
>>379365I was actually coming here to ask if anyone else is doing reusable diapers as I've been making reusable wipes today.
-No ipads
-Wont breastfeed after 2 but will offer breastmilk in a cup after 2
-Cloth diapers and reusable wipes
-Homecooked meals almost everynight
-Once we move I will grow our fruit and veg
-Sewing and knitting baby blankets/ clothes. Eventually would like to make clothing
-No plastic plates or cups, I'm avoiding as much plastic as possible while pregnant
-After moving will have grain bags as we will have chickens
-Would be fine bringing my child to the slaughter of an animal if they wanted to watch it
-On the fence on homeschooling until highschool
-Havent looked into baby led weaning but it sounds right for me
-Husband wont let me eat my placenta but I would try it. If could move I would bring it home and bury it.
-Delayed removal of placenta seems to be scientifically sound
-Not going to go back on hormonal bc
-Will babywear
No. 379459
>>379364>>379365Sage for small rant but I hate how labeled everything is in birthing/parenting communities. Like, I do a little bit from both the crunchy and non crunchy mom side and some lady called me a chewy mom.
The reason why it irritates me so much is that people polarize themselves so heavily in these groups. If I mention any type of reusable or less chemical minded products in a non-crunchy mom group people automatically start getting defensive or claim that they won't do those things because they vaccinate??
On the reverse side crunchy moms are just as annoying because they claim you don't really love your/the environment child if you do anything non-crunchy.
I refuse to join chewy mom groups because I think labelling yourself as one of these categories is really damaging to building friendships etc. Anyway, I can't wait for my baby to get older so I can escape these weird groups and just be a regular mom.
No. 379935
File: 1708116186709.jpg (139.23 KB, 778x450, crunchy mom vs normal mom.jpg)
>>379365>>379364I'm a bit of both. Presumably eating raw meat doesn't include sushi, and while I didn't sew my own clothes I did sew up my own cloth diaper inserts and wipes.
>>379459I think these groups just attract people who really want identities and turn everything into some big moral struggle. Finding grounded people is a relief. Unfortunately, I don't think madness goes away after the kids start to grow up either.
No. 380316
>>380073you can get blood tests done if you're concerned about your fertility and egg supply. 2nd'ing getting his frozen (+tested now to see if it's any good).
egg freezing is very invasive. you're basically doing IVF procedures and suffering from all of the related complications and side effects but just without the insemination + reimplantation portion of IVF. it's expensive. you'll be injecting yourself with hormones to stimulate your body to produce a bunch of eggs at once then undergoing surgery for a doctor to extract them.
also. not to freak you out but I recently just read a story about 60+ women who suffered through their egg retrieval surgery w/o anesthesia, screaming in pain as doctors cut into them over and over while calling them hysterical, because a nurse routinely stole their anesthesia.
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/podcast-the-retrievals-reveals-painful-experiences-of-female-patients-are-often-ignoredimo, it doesn't seem worth it to pay $10,000+ to set yourself up for that kind of risk and suffering for just insurance.
No. 380942
>>380941Lmao don't call your baby a moid nonna!
I'm waiting to hear back about mine, but I think it's a boy too
No. 381015
>>380576i had my first post partum period just now….2.5 years after giving birth. And I do feel more like myself now! Plus there was significantly less cramping etc.
(still - i somehow assumed it wouldn't come back ever!?)
No. 381448
File: 1708780558173.jpg (144.6 KB, 700x700, Huckleberry.jpg)
Does anyone know why the huckleberry app shows two different numbers for total amount of milk/formula consumed, depending on where you check in the app?
Baby is bottle fed exclusively
No. 382774
>>382467He is flying so it wouldnt be easy to go with him
>>382475I will do this but i worry I'll fall apart, but <1 week isnt long
No. 383373
The mailman came while I was pumping milk. I had to answer the door with milk all over my shirt for the first time and it was very awkward.
>>382668If you can't find anything nice at a local store I would suggest ordering online and sizing up. Don't worry about it fitting well.. late in pregnancy you'll be more concerned with comfort than looking good.
No. 383820
>>383802Sounds like round ligament pain. You might be able to do gentle stretching to temporarily relieve it but iirc there's no permanent fix for it
I started side sleeping at 24 weeks
No. 383825
Are the 12 and 20 week scans + associated tests like amniocentesis sufficient for detecting major congenital issues? I'm honestly terrified of the idea of having to raise a child with severe (esp intellectual) disabilities. I don't think I'll be able to accept the full implications of pregnancy until I get confirmation that the fetus is healthy.
>>383679If she doesn't tell you about it then definitely don't bring it up. She may also want to keep her distance from you until the pain heals. If she does bring it up, I imagine a 'I'm so sorry, I can't imagine your loss, let me know if there's anything I can do' without referring to your success should suffice.
No. 383831
>>383820>>383821Did you ever use a heat pack or waterbottle on your belly? Dr Google says its safe but I'm still a little worried.
The pillow I have is the big body ones in the U shape, was yours very full? Idk if I just bought a bad one because where I hug it it looses stuffing.
>>383825My 13 week one we saw the heart, brain, and bones, she kept saying perfect healthy baby but idk if they could pick up on some defects. You can test for genetic carriers at 10 weeks, and depending on your own results your partner then gets tested, if you both match with an issue then the baby gets tested in utero. 10 weeks you can get a separate down syndrome test done. 21 week scan they look for physical disabilities and count toes etc, back of neck.
I'm terrified to have a non verbal autistic child. I would much prefer a down syndrome child over that.
No. 383867
>>383831I think they would've caught any major structual abnormalities to critical organs. The risk isn't zero and can never be zero but it is a very small risk.
As for intellectual disabilities omega 3 and choline supplementation might help. I don't want to spam everyone with links but there are research studies showing that prenatal choline supplementation has positive impacts on facets of intelligence (attention, spatial processing, language) for average babies and it can mitigate deleterious genetic and environmental risks associated with negative impact on intelligence. There are studies indicating prenatal choline can improve sensory issues in babies is ASD and lessen the cognitive impairment in kids with down syndrom.
So while you have no control over any defects you have, if it helps you any you can supplement choline and omega 3 to buffer any potential risks. If your baby is physical and neurotypical then it only helps also. If you want links to studies incan drop some but it's a good rabbit hole and google has it all. I saw a study that choline can also mitigate epigenetic changes in the fetus caused by gestational diabetes or high fat diet. I think I also read that it can mitigate neurodevelopmental impacts from prenatal illness exposure.
>>383825I never did but I think the heat risk was mostly during early first trimester during early cell division?
It seems like everyone says "just ask your doctor!" with pregnancy but seriously your OB might know for sure and can explain any limitations or caveats to applying heat to your belly. Like, my OB said that a pillow under the hips (to angle your body 45 degrees) is enough in lieu of side sleeping if side sleeping is totally impossible. I'm not sure if the majority of OBs agree with what my OB said (I side slept anyway), but they do seem to know more and have advice about edge cases that the internet doesnt know about. You might be able to ask about your situation via the patient portal or even calling them instead of waiting for an appointment
No. 383878
I dropped my 16oz morning pump and I am the angriest. About how long do these feelings generally last?
>>383825There’s always a risk of disability. NIPT can test for a lot of genetic issues, though
No. 383986
>>383972I can't answer you with a simple answer because it is up to you how much you take and I am not a doctor (and I'm kinda retarded) so I feel weird telling you definitively what to do. Anyway…
You have the recommendations that ACOG and the FDA present
>Choline plays a role in your fetus’s brain development. It may also help prevent some common birth defects. Experts recommend that you get 450 mg of choline each day during pregnancy.Source:
https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/nutrition-during-pregnancyHowever there are studies that suggest the optimal amount is a bit higher (in the 600-900 mg range).
The tolerable upper limit for pregnant women is 3.5g/day. Stay faaaar away from that limit. I think the highest amount I ever saw in a human study was 1.3g/day and it was on chronically alcoholic women who didn't stop drinking in pregnancy. I personally took 900-1000 mg/day but I have autism and debilitating mental illness in my immediate family and I wanted to try to buffer against it as much as possible. I also couldn't stomach any foods that are high in choline and my nutrition was poor.
This meta analysis is a good synthesis of research related to nutrition in pregnancy. It has other vitamin recommendations like omega 3s and vitamin D.
https://mhnpjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40748-022-00139-9
>for US women, we recommend that prenatal supplements contain at least 350 mg of choline during the first two trimesters, and roughly 600 mg in the third trimester, especially for women who do not consume several eggs/week (eggs have the highest dietary content of choline per serving, with one large egg containing 300 mg of choline). This recommendation appears likely to improve brain development in infants, and possibly help with other conditions as well.There are different kinds of choline. Most studies, including the ones on alcoholic mothers, use phosphotidlycholine. I think any kind is fine but Choline bitartrate might harm cardio vascular system health with chronic high doses. If you accidentally by this kind, taking it for a month wont hurt anything
No. 384018
>>383986Thanks for the recommendations
nonny, just bought a bottle of phosphotidlycholine. I'm 7+4 weeks along; hopefully I don't have a choline deficiency and didn't fuck something up.
No. 384033
>>383986I'm taking a pregnancy vit with a bunch of stuff as well as a DHA + chlorine.
I'm pretty sure my tablets are making me feel worse through which really sucks.
No. 384043
>>384033Yeah I found it hard to execute scientific recommendations sometimes with nausea or just other limitations with reality. Doing something occasionally or to a smaller degree is better than never doing it. And there are foods that have choline in it like eggs and meat.
>>384018It's never too early or too late for choline. I saw a study where they gave a choline drink to toddlers who were born to alcoholic mothers and they had better outcomes with learning and verbal scores. At 7 weeks your baby hasnt even started making the major structures of the brain so it's a good time
No. 384434
File: 1710174830122.jpg (252.96 KB, 1080x1814, SS_Opera.jpg)
>>384389The lecithin bottles might have the amount of choline shown (idk how it is where you live but in the US it looks like this). I can't find any sources for the amount of choline in lecithin that arent health-woo sites.
What about choline citrate or GPC?
No. 384456
>>384434>What about choline citrate or GPC?No luck.
>>384449I'm just going to resign myself to lecithin supplements and eat a couple eggs a day. fml managing a pregnancy diet is rough.
No. 384528
>>384513Because my progenitors are not my parents? Because there's nothing in my genetic makeup that encodes love in my brain? Because they are two complete strangers?
I love my parents and if I'm extremely grateful they're my parents. I have a more loving family than the vast majority of "biological" families I see.
I have no idea where she got that information from but all adopted people I've talked to feel the same way.
No. 384545
>>384537I wish you a lot of happiness. If I could say something from my perspective is do not listen to anything like what she said. I don't even think about it and my parents never told me until I asked (as a joke) and I cried because I thought that meant I had to meet my progenitors. I truly did not care and if they never told me this it wouldn't make any difference. But I would hate to be referred to as an adopted daughter or adopted
in general, I don't know if this is normalized elsewhere but I find this horrible and I would be hurt if I was othered like that as a child. I have a friend in college who was also adopted and she feels exactly the same, doesn't matter at all and it would be best if the word "adopted" didn't even exist because they're our parents just the same.
No. 384601
>>384501adoption is good in situations where the parent is simply not mentally stable enough to handle parenthood. The issue is that most of the time it's not the situation of crazy
abusive moms giving up their kids and their kids being rescued, it's typically upper-middle-class folk preying on poor people and purposely instilling systems that make it as expensive as possible to raise children, all along with increased amounts of parent-shaming over menial things so people feel like they failed before they even tried
IMO there should be more strict regulation of employment, shelter, medicine etc so people wouldn't have to be ripped from their babies to handed to some rich people using them as toys. Even if they got rid of work-at will laws and put in rent control I'd bet people giving their kids up would drastically drop but you know no one is going to do that
No. 384706
>>384456This is a shot in the dark but i wonder if you could ask a doctor to prescribe it for you? In the US you can get vitamins prescribed. Idk how it is where you live of course and doctors can be rude or paternalistic towards women but it's worth trying especially if you maybe lie and say your diet is totally devoid of choline rich foods.
If pharmacists are chill in your country, you might be able to ask them about guidance and sourcing?
No. 384858
>>384706Good idea; I'll ask my doc during my next appointment.
>>384857I don't think anybody can know for sure because having children involves fundamental lifestyle and identity changes that need to be experienced to be understood. As far as taking the plunge though, I personally became receptive to the idea once I got tired of my old lifestyle, had reached all other 'adult' milestones, and had my fill of experiences people can't have with kids in tow.
>I am terrified of pregnancyfwiw my fear of pregnancy and anxiety in general plummeted upon becoming pregnant, though it seems to be different for everyone. Can't speak to your other concerns, though.
No. 384945
File: 1710366711557.jpg (348.35 KB, 1080x1350, SCROTE.jpg)
Is there a way to stop this from happening besides not having sex with white scrotes? I don't want a baby who looks like a colonizer.(racebait)
No. 384947
>>384857I've always wanted kids but the drive didnt really kick in until I met my husband. Pregnancy is a scary thing, its something traumatic happening to the body. I'm a worrier and now all my social media is geared towards pregnancy birth and babies and when I tell you the shit that goes sideways with everything to do with that.. its alot.
But I know it'll be worth it in the end, stats are low for all the bad shit, if it was truly as bad as it looks on paper then women would only do it once rather than have big families.
No. 385283
>>384857There's no way to know for sure. I figured I'd probably regret not having a kid more than having one so I went for it. Those first couple months are rough though you might regret it then but by 3-4 months omg they're so so cute and now I want another. Best I can describe it is yes your quality of life will take a hit but you won't regret it. I've never met anyone who got intentionally pregnant and regretted it. But also I can respect enjoying the increased QOL that comes from not having kids, but im glad i had mine. Also as long as you have noise canceling headphones the crying isn't that bad, otherwise its pretty bad.
>>384947I think the problem with pregnancy is the horror stories get a lot of attention, a lot of births are run of the mill which is why you don't hear about them. Like how a regular car ride is boring, unless you get in a crash you probably aren't going to talk about it.
No. 385390
>>385301I think people overblow the body changes and understate the lifestyle changes. The body changes aren't as bad as you expect, I wouldn't weigh that heavily. Mine didn't change much, I weigh like 5 pounds over initial weight.
The lifestyle change is very very major though, imagine for a significant portion of the day you have no arms. They will be preoccupied so you can't grab anything you need to. The drop in autonomy is pretty staggering, and cannot be understated enough, weigh that a lot heavier.
No. 385426
File: 1710591464036.jpeg (11.46 KB, 482x175, Kumon-Logo-White1_full.jpeg)
Every weekend I tell my baby that our family tradition is Saturday sleep-ins and he just gives me the kumon stare.
No. 385480
>>385390I'm not talking about physical damage, and I say this as someone who actually likes my body better after having children.
It sometimes takes years to recover hormonally, a lot of your organs work differently and it's not uncommon for women to develop new health issues after having kids. Ofc im not gonna go into mine since I don't care to stroke the egos of scrotes and anti natalists here but my point stands.
No. 386001
>>385956>Why does the body reject so many fetusesPregnancy is a huge investment, so if the body detects that a pregnancy is non-viable or in some cases unhealthy/unfit then it'll terminate. Non-viable pregnancies (e.g. massive genetic defects like trisomies) are very common too.
>And why is pregnancy when the immune system is at its lowest?So the immune system doesn't attack the embryo/fetus/whatever
No. 386152
>>385956Medfag, body doesn't reject many fetuses but if there is anything wrong the child is naturally aborted. Your immunity is lowered because you have another being inside you.
I hate when sub 80iq bitches try to bring weird asf pseudoscience stuff when the topic is female biology. Thank god this type of pseudo science nut usually can't reproduce.
No. 386237
>>386204My biological "parents" would have killed me for being a girl. I wish my parents were rich. Stop taking these bigoted vaguely Marxist fictions out of your ass and bring some evidence. As the "poor child kidnapping
victim" of your narrative I think you're an asshole.
No. 386247
>>386244One minute ago the tone was "We should ban international adoption". Now it's "we should be mindful of the issues in international adoption".
Some societies have a culture so egregiously vicious towards females the only choice many girls have of surviving is international adoption. I'm sure there are issues but you didn't really cite any, just your vibes and ban it all.
No. 386797
File: 1711139906236.jpg (7.35 KB, 247x250, 1650750271574.jpg)
I found the tiniest bit of brown spotting today, and my pregnancy qualitatively feels different than it has for the past few days, though I'm not sure if I'm imagining things due to anxiety. Is it worth calling the doctor over? My 12 week scan's in a couple weeks and if I'm going to miscarry then it'll happen regardless of what I do, I figure.
No. 386963
Mastisis… spent all night shivering, nauseas, every joint aching. This is the third and worst time I've gotten it, I cannot wait for baby to be done breastfeeding he is almost 4 months, 2 more months to go…
>>386940that's absolutely heartbreaking… wishing you strength to get through this
No. 387087
>>386387It sounds like you want the autism answer so here you go. If any of it sounds retarded that's just how i think sorry:
Because the baby has foreign DNA. The baby's genetic material is entirely their own, as a blend of the mother and the father.
The placenta belongs to the baby (it is built using their DNA, not yours) and imbeds into the uterine wall via capillaries/blood vessles. Blood is exchanged between the mother and the baby at this junction between placenta and uterine wall. The capillaries of the uterus are close to/almost touching the capillaries of the placenta and blood cells travel from one to the other.
Whenever foreign bodies (viruses, bacteria, cells, organs, parasites) enter your own body, your immune systems natural and appropriate response is to attack it and develop antibodies and other immune cells to recognize and attack the foreign material. If you are sharing blood with the baby your immune cells will enter their body. If your body has produced antibodies against the baby, those antibodies will attack the baby's cells once it enters their body via the placenta.
Moreover, activation of the immune system (which is complex and comprised of more than just white blood cells) causes stress on the mother's body. Whenever you are sick (in general even when not pregnant), some of the fatigue you feel is from inflammation in your body - because your immune system causes micro injuries on your whole body systemically. Experiencing systemic inflammation for 40 weeks would harm the mother's cardiovascular system and other organ functioning. There is already some inflammation associated with pregnancy but it'd be alot worse if the immune system wasnt suppressed. Google autoimmune disease and read up on the different ways an overactive immune system/chronic high inflammation can harm one's body.
So, immune suppression is the body's attempt at keeping the mother safe and the baby safe. It has the consequence of making the mother more susceptible to severe illness if she catches something because our bodies can't do diametrically opposite things at the same time. It's very important to try to avoid illness during pregnancy.
Babies/fetuses/embryos are not parasites, as parasites are a different species from the host body. They are a huge resource drain for the mother and many other things but calling them parasites is incorrect. Not saying you did but anyone who did itt is wrong until scientific community changes the definition of parasite.
No. 389021
>>387438I would try to feed him a lot slower if you can. I'm assuming baby is newborn?
There is super slow flow nipples available for some brands of bottles.
No. 389022
>>3861153 months isn't enough time for you to be really be showing, and if you were going to be trying to get pregnant anyway I don't think putting yourself through that trauma is worth it. You can drink later
>>386176I'm so sorry
nonnie No. 389950
File: 1712611211980.jpeg (137.39 KB, 1080x1342, IMG_0932.jpeg)
I see a lot of people, both men and women, be really nasty to mothers. Even on here, I’ve seen people be nasty to women for expressing feelings of wanting children. With men, it’s more like once you actually have the children, they’re free to remark about your parenting or concern troll you. For example, saying stuff like, “oh, you have children and yet have hobbies I don’t approve of? Why are you even online and not taking care of your children? Shouldn’t you be ______?” It feels like there’s an expectation for you to give up your personhood and individuality, or that you’re just automatically not a person anymore if you’re a mother. I don’t have children yet, but I really want them. It just makes me very sad to see mothers being dehumanized.
No. 390080
>>389950Both men and women have told me I shouldnt be online at all now that I'm pregnant.
Women on here have told me that once I have a baby I shouldnt do anything besides stare at the baby while it sleeps, that I shouldnt get to do hobbies around the baby schedule and have said how embarrassing it is to be on lolcow while pregnant/have children. They sound like incels.
No. 390162
File: 1712702433127.jpeg (43.23 KB, 728x410, IMG_7343.jpeg)
>>390080how is this not just straight up misogyny
No. 390357
I have my first ultrasound + nuchal tube scan in a couple days and am nervous- what is the process like?
>>390080>>389950>>390146There's no point in listening to ''''advice''' and judgment from strangers and unqualified individuals; even if they are parents, gen alpha children are more poorly-behaved and developmentally/academically delayed than any other living generation, so chances are that they're shit parents with shit advice.
No. 390434
>>390403This + the bad medical/psych advice
People swearing spanking turns them into good people while slowly turning into obnoxious cunts if you disagree. The amount of times I've seen people (even a nurse) try to put toddlers on keto diets, fear mongering of fucking fruit and veggies. The "absolutely no sleepovers or hang outs" crowd, "if you don't give your children a mansion and private chef and a Mercedes on their 16th birthday you're abusing them and shouldn't have had kids" crowd, etc etc. I can take judgement but people trying to get CPS calls over nothing is insane to me. Modern western parenting has to be the most judgemental thing in the world
No. 390986
>>390626I'm not a mother and don't want kids but those people just sound terminally online and/or mentally ill. They're enabled by internet echochambers like r/childfree where everyone shares their opinion, as well as the anonymity/lack of repercussions for saying nasty things on the internet so they just say the most out of pocket nonsense to take their impotent anger out of you, as realistically there's nothing they else can do about moms existing or you being one, and they also have deeper issues in life. We're not their therapists so nobody cares, but it might help you to realize this yourself.
It's difficult to do at first, but be glad they're not reproducing and think of everyone who says that as a gullible, easily influenced idiot with no critical thinking skills because that's exactly what they are. Those people have the black/white thinking and reasoning of a seven year old, and are usually trashy yet sheltered. It's never happy well-adjusted individuals who are like this.
Slightly OT but I'm a white-passing minority and my ethnicity is not very well liked, so I get to hear the grossest comments about my people as a whole. It used to ruin my life but I eventually realized none of what they say is true so why should I let it bother me? They were retarded and knew nothing about my culture, didn't even google a single thing to see if it's true. And they always run with their tail between their legs when confronted one-on-one, it really is just mental illness and misplaced frustration. I bet you're a great mom, nonna.
No. 391029
>>390986I lurked r/childfree the other day and it seems to be filled with the most miserable and developmentally stunted adults. Idc if people don’t want to have children but to make it part of your identity/personality? There was one thread of people complaining about strollers in places intended for children/families, like theme parks and Disney lmao. They try to complain about strollers taking up space but you know that if parents WEREN’T using them, they’d complain about kids running loose and not being contained. Obviously they just get
triggered seeing children existing anywhere, but most won’t say that outright because it’s a reflection of how unstable and unwell they are.
No. 391061
>>389841I got most of it second hand, in my country there's a local popular fleamarket type app you might check facebook marketplace or look if you have alternatives. Stroller, clothes sets, high chairs, toys. Most baby stuff can is very washable or else you just clean it with vinegar + dishsoap. And many moms are willing to sell it for ridiculous cheap since they just want to make space and get rid of it. My relatives all get a massive ick from that but since I thrift most my stuff as well, I can't relate and only see my full wallet.
Also: DO NOT GET A LOT OF 0-3 MONTHS CLOTHING. They outgrow this in like a week and they dont need daily clothes changes unless the diaper leaks since they are so clean.
No. 391085
I really wish I had help. I suffer from a physical and mental disability (it is not genetic btw, its a byproduct of the way i chose to live) and I've spent much of the last 5 years in and out of the hospital. I have experienced horrific abuse, malpractice, and neglect under the "care" of doctors. My husband and I are discussing getting pregnant because we both want to have a baby and I've already miscarried once, but when we discuss where the birth would happen he defaults to us going to the hospital, even though he knows what I've experienced. He tries to calm me down and tell me that its the healthiest decision for our child, but I don't believe that. Nurses and doctors who work in the maternity ward are not safe, trust worthy people. I'm afraid of my child being dropped by them, becoming ill or injured after being in contact with a pool of gross nasty strangers instead of cuddling with me immediately after they're born, and obviously them switching out my baby with a different one. I just want to have my baby in peace. I feel like if I was stuck in a hospital room full of scary doctors who I do not know, trying to convince me to get into positions that are convenient for them, trying to shove their hands inside my body, all while dilated to a 10…I think I'd just have a stroke from the overwhelm.
No. 392223
>>392220Kek I noticed it too. Or anons SWEARING this place is being turned into mumsnet or something even though there's barely even posts about it or if there are it's very vague and just gets buried. It's weird how motherhood is the one topic that makes anons so damn
triggered as if we don't have millions of other posts daily that can easily be put on the specific forum. But oh no -one- post where an anon vaguely mentioned breastfeeding is enough to swear this forum is going down and the millions of other posts just magically got turned into mom shit somehow
No. 392249
File: 1713497641004.gif (2.72 MB, 498x487, IMG_2710.gif)
>>392223>>392230They get so angry for no reason. And I get it, some normie moms can be really annoying and shallow, but lolcow moms are not the bitches telling you that you’re shallow and worthless if you don’t have kids. We’re still farmers, we just have a life and family outside of farming.
No. 392276
>>392220>>392223I think it's just a tiny handful of particularly fragile unhinged and childfree anons. Possibly one or two.
A couple weeks or so ago, what I assume is the mumsnet one was sperging about normies taking over lolcow or someshit, as if this place has always been the female wizchan rather than a community for women with a common interest.
I do get why anons wouldn't want lolcow to turn into a GOMI-style bored mother whinefest but there's literally no threat of that happening here and any fear to the contrary is delusional.
No. 392722
>>391085The hospital isn't that bad
nonnie. Honestly, labor is so long and so intense that you're too focused on the pain to think about what the doctors are doing.
If you're worried about them doing something to your baby, just get your husband to follow the staff around. The parents are allowed to watch most procedures.
>>390080They have to be people with no kids. Newborns sleep most of the day and often prefer to sleep on their parents.. I don't know what I would have done during my kid's newborn period if I hadn't had access to the internet.
No. 393074
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Am I the only one who after giving birth started wishing she lived in one of those close knit religious communities where each woman has 10 kids and 15 siblings? I'm the only child of atheist professionals who expected me to be a girlboss and it feels so lonely. It feels unnatural to have a small village and have to pay for things like childcare.
No. 393130
>>393074I mean… probably. I always wonder how those mfs afford so many kids. Idk about the religious part cause I think the moms in those communities are expected to be only a mother and I couldn't devote my life to raising that many kids. Being an only child is tough though, I plan to having maybe 2 or 3 cause of that. Big close families seem really comfy…
>>393081Fr. Stuff like child abuse used to upset me but now it actually
triggers me to the point where sometimes I have to close the thread or stop watching the news story cause I don't want to hear anymore.
No. 393442
>>393074We all dream of an 'escape' or easy solution for the difficulty of raising kids, and these larger religious communities pride themselves at being SOOO good with taking care of 10 kids while the mom also has time to make traditional meals for holidays and dress all the kids of ceremonies etc.
The sad, dark, unspoken truth about these ultra religious communities is that the parents have a lot of help, and it's all run by the strength of the mother's will (which does snap, and it snaps on the kids). The help for childcare comes in the form of the older children taking care of the younger children (almost completely like with the 8 passengers youtube channel) and the mom will hire young international college-aged girls do childcare for food/board. The mom and dad also scream, hit, and threaten their children a lot so they behave and stay out of the way. The kids long for a hug, a moment of time with mommy, but are quickly shoved from religious school to dinner to bath to bed and there better not be any complaining! The dad might not even work but do religious study that is stipend by the congregation while the mom is girlbossing in HR/teaching/tutoring. The women are running the show but not in a cutesy SAHM homeschool sourdough bread way, but more like a small government with an velvet fist/covert narc thing in front of family while her kids don't even eat without her approval (traumatized from doing one wrong thing).
Usually the latest baby gets all the attention for a year or two while the second youngest is tossed aside, only for that baby to eventually be expected to be proper and quiet as the mom is pregnant again and has an NEW new baby that needs the most attention. I've seen a 5,3, and two 2 year old twins all hoping for a shred of love from the breastfeeding mom who is only focused on the latest baby. It broken my heart seeing all those little kids wandering around like lost kittens, feeling the neglect and need to please their parents to get attention.
No. 393493
>>393446It seems like there are a lot of (extremely vocal) mothers who have done literally nothing with their lives beyond shit out children and turn motherhood into a pissing contest over who's the most dedicated mommy because their uwu 100% natural homebirth and EBF are the only social capital they can hope to ever have.
You just know that they fuck up their kids for life by resorting to lazy bullshit like gentle parenting or ipad rearing when their kids are older and parenting becomes about rearing children rather than keeping them alive and healthy too.
No. 393656
>>393650I'm actually a very similar case to you. My mom had me as a teen pregnancy and then remarried and had more kids. I'm 24 and my youngest siblings are 14 and 11. It was fine when I was a teen and they were babies- I was often left "in charge" of them and helped around with babysitting and chores a lot. But then once I left home and moved to college we grew much farther apart.
I text and visit them sometimes but we're definitely not close compared to siblings of similar ages. My mom has told me one of the kids said she wishes she had an older sister, which hurt but I also get what she meant- our relationship feels more like aunt/niece than sisters, she's too young to even remember when we lived together.
It doesn't help that I'm not good with kids and never know how to act around them kek. Then there's how my mom will talk to me as an adult, sometimes asks for parenting advice about the little ones etc. just a very different dynamic to most families. I have a feeling that once we're all adults it will be fine but for right now it's awkward. Not to discourage you from having more kids, it's not the end of the world that we're not super close, but it feels very different.
No. 394077
>>393188I liked mine but I was so worried the whole time that the check-ups were reassuring to me. Also enjoyed my doc, and didn't really have anything else going on so I was looking forward to them.
>>393789It's Definitely people without kids, I see it from both men and women. There's some kind of weird idea some people have where mothers should be punished by ultimate servitude. I think you're right it mostly stems from mommy issues…
>>393650I heard the farthest you can have them apart while maintaining a close sibling connection is 4 years, but who knows the accuracy. My mom had 3 kids close together, then me 17 years after them. There's definitely a separation in closeness there, but it's not bad. They're supportive and involved despite the emotional distance.
No. 394421
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There’s an “enbie” mom in my daughter’s Girl Scout troop, and I’m tempted to pull her out, but all her friends are in this troop, so I don’t want to be the bad guy