/g/ - girl talk

Do I HAVE to allow my toxic brother in my room, under the guise of using exercise equipment? Or is there a way to stand up to him, that wont result in me being abused and/or homeless? Sorry for the long post.

My brother is coddled by mom, and now, he wants to invade my room. He has turned my family against me, esp mom. Mom is only close person I have in my life who I can speak with about certain things. My home life is now tense and distant, thanks to my brothers influence. I just had a bad breakup, Im isolated with no friends or other family, Im going through financial difficulties, have depression somedays, and have to stay with family for a long time. I just want my brother to leave me alone. I avoid him as best as possible, but he wont stop inventing new ways to torment me.

So my room WAS my only sanctuary away from my brother. Now, he wants to use exercise equipment located in my room. Every space my brother is in, he clutters it/takes it right over. I want my room free of his presence, sweat, filthy shoes that he wears indoors and outdoors. I dont want him snooping, leaving recording stuff, or doing who knows what. I dont trust him. He [used to?] snoop on an elderly woman neighbor with binoculars, and used to relentlessly harass me everytime I went to the bathroom. I do NOT want my brother in my room.

If I say no, this could happen
– my mom could physically take the exercise equipment [I got it as a birthday gift years ago] from my room. My brother would love that, it would be devastating and humiliating for me.
– my brother could increase the harassment, and might even take out his anger on me
– at minimum, my mom will likely ignore me/treat me bad until I give in. My vulnerable emotional state cannot take this.


My brother
– did not wish me a happy birthday, ruined it for me. Mom excused it away, because apparently Im not nice enough to him. Mom told me to not wish him a happy bday on his upcoming bday, rather than make him apologize. Yet he enjoyed my bday cake that I made, while harassing me nonstop when I was trying to measure ingredients out. He wants the same cake for his bday, so me trying out a new recipe basically just benefits him. Mom later invited him to go out with us, because we cant have a male feel left out on his sisters bday, can we? He declined, thank God.
– hates women, is a raging manlet with anger issues that are gPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>497782
>If I "willingly" move the exercise equipment out of my room, it will feel like my brother took a part of my identity out of my room, as my room will feel even emptier. Its like he wants me to feel like he can take my possessions over, like nothing is safe.
he wants a reason to get into your room regularly. unfortunately your best option seems to be give up the equipment so he has less of a reason. gym equipment is not your identity, nor is an empty room. i know it hurts and your brother knows you like the gym equipment and is doing it on purpose. maybe try looking up calisthenics? things will probably continue to escalate. i remember reading your posts before, your brother is terrifying and your mother is a stupid bitch of a boymom whose entire existence revolves around kissing her son's ass as a cope for being a failure of a mother. sorry if i'm overreaching or sound crazy it sounds like your brother might want to sexually abuse you honestly by continuously invading your personal space. you cannot trust your mother. you need to tell them less and less if possible, make few complaints, and limit how much ammo you give them. you sound too open and easy to manipulate. can you make plans to move out or get outside help?
>Should I try to take a part out of the exercise equipment to make it not work when he tries to use it, and then have it mysteriously work when I use it, and pretend to not know why? They will both probably call me out on it if I do that, and treat me bad, so Idk.
this is a terrible idea. you live with these people and already cannot maintain boundaries to protect yourself, it sounds very obvious they'll call you out.

>>497789
Samefag, have you heard of the term "coercive control"? it is the defining feature of what we think of when we discuss domestic violence, victims being heavily monitored, controlled, and manipulated by their abusers.

I'm trying to read your old posts for more context. You need to step back and look at the big picture, the small day abuses are bad but you need a plan and action to get out.

As you get older and mom can't cater to him as well he will expect you to become your mother and do everything for him, and you will also have to care for her too. If your mom dies things are going to get very ugly. You need to make a plan to get out which will be difficult but this is your life you need to save. Your brother is a monster and is very likely to escalate.

>>419531
Many victims of abuse never understand or accept the reality and stay/side with their abusers for the rest of their lives. You cannot save or help your mother unless she wants it, and she most likely will not because her identity as a Mother of a son will come before you, because you are seen as more understanding and able to be dealt with. She is like a peasant trying to appeal to a skygod, to bring rain.
> everytime I wanted to join a club or have a (rare) friend over, Mom told me to quit and didnt allow friends over because the house wasnt ready. Of course the golden male child was always allowed to have his friends over at the drop of a hat.
Discouraging you from having friends and from getting a job? Your mother sounds sinisterly manipulative too, isolating you. Maybe as a victim of DV, she internalized abuse as the way to keep people around and feel in control.
>everytime I applied for a job, Mom discouraged me, saying focus on school instead, telling me "it'll ruin your life", "you dont want to deal with rude people". I applied anyways and was unsuccessful. I eventually gave up and now I have no work experience, no job references, and I still dont know what I want to do in life. Completely isolated and dependent. I feel broken.
Does your area not have serPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>497789
>>497790
Thank you for reading, and just letting you know, not all previous posts are mine.

Surprisingly, more recently, they have eased off on messing with my sleep, and they actually try to be quiet. But I dont trust this would last if I had a job.

Youre right, I need a plan. A lot of days, my mood is awful due to the daily nonsense they do, and I cant focus on really important things like setting goals.

I would love to be at peace one day in a different, decent home environment. But its like I cant conceive of actually leaving and living somewhere else. It feels impossible. But youre right, it is possible, and I have to realize that.

I cant do another summer of being this reliant and vulnerable. I was thinking of starting a business, no idea on specifics, maybe something digital? I would have to list a home address, so I almost couldnt move for a while if I did form a business. Or maybe I should start by getting a job? Then theyll know where I work, which hours, etc..but maybe thats necessary to eventually move away. Getting the ball rolling is where Im stuck, I suppose.

The issues: I have no references, my agoraphobia, and due to living in a small gossipy town with hardly any jobs, Ill probably need to rely on transportation. I feel like they will tinker with the family vehicle one day if I rely on it for work, so that it fails. There was a time I missed my brothers text due to his vehicle failing, and he got mad that he had to walk back home in a safe area during the day for like 20 mins lol. Yet he refused to call our parents for help, or an Uber. So he probably wants revenge for that situation he got himself into, that he wants to pin the blame on me for. They wont add me to the names on the vehicle insurance, but afaik as long as I have their permission to use it, I can still legally drive. I have a drivers license. Another thing is, I want to travel so bad, Ive never gone on a vacation. But they keep stalling on getting our passports. They dont have passports either, and they insist on everyone getting their passport at once. Im so isolated I cant find passport references who have known me for x amount of years, required for where I am, so we all have to pay a lawyer to do our passports at once.

I realize Im not gPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>497810
>Thank you for reading, and just letting you know, not all previous posts are mine.
Multiple nonnas being abused like this is horrifying to consider. God, I hope you all can get out one day.
>Surprisingly, more recently, they have eased off on messing with my sleep, and they actually try to be quiet. But I dont trust this would last if I had a job.
Smart, you're right to be wary. Preventing someone from sleeping is a form of torture and will severely degrade the psyche. If you can't really live there and work, you might have to put leaving first. But that's risky of course.
>I would love to be at peace one day in a different, decent home environment. But its like I cant conceive of actually leaving and living somewhere else. It feels impossible. But youre right, it is possible, and I have to realize that.
Your brain can only handle so much. I think reading from more domestic abuse survivors will help with gaining perspective and strategy. Reddit is a shithole of a website ultimately, but it has a lot of advice and venting subreddits you can lurk and read for perspective like r/domesticviolence. Especially if you need resources for contacting dv hotlines but can't call them since you are being monitored.
>I cant do another summer of being this reliant and vulnerable. I was thinking of starting a business, no idea on specifics, maybe something digital? I would have to list a home address, so I almost couldnt move for a while if I did form a business. Or maybe I should start by getting a job? Then theyll know where I work, which hours, etc..but maybe thats necessary to eventually move away. Getting the ball rolling is where Im stuck, I suppose.
>The issues: I have no references, my agoraphobia, and due to living in a small gossipy town with hardly any jobs, Ill probably need to rely on transportation.
It is a really tough battle, I do not mean to minimize that at all. Your mother set you up to be easily controlled and dependent on them since you don't have your own money or work experience to get a job.

You need to find resources and seek whatever options and knowledge you can use in whatever way. This is where Reddit can come in handy too, you can go the subreddit for your Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>420668
These are cute!

>>481891
I used to use these.
Literally just use water and a q tip to wash off mistakes.

>>481913
Yes, but it's just a little more stubborn than a regular polish or gel that stays wet. It can be hard to fix mistakes that are close to parts of the design that are fine.

Any good recs for short natural looking press on nails? I want to break my nail biting habit. I've been a nail biter since I was 10 years old and since then the longest I got without biting them off was 3 weeks. They are really short and bitten off rn and I feel super embarrassed about it. Will getting press on nails help with that? Then I won't be able to bite them off anymore?

I went to a nail salon for basically the first time today, after only doing them at home for a long time. I just asked to have my nails trimmed short and shaped to be round, and to have some cateye gel nail polish. The lady was rough on my cuticles and cut me twice, leaving a good amount of blood on me. She also got some tiny spots of polish cured onto my skin. It looked cute in the end but after telling a friend how I got cut up she told me not to tip so I didn't, and I feel a little bad because I usually tip for most services but I don't know what nail salon etiquitte is like. I was already charged 45 bucks, when my sister who got basically the same thing as me was charged 25. I feel like maybe I should just continue doing my nails at home since it wasn't a really good experience even thought I love the look of gel nails.

>>497126
The thing comes with 5 heads and I really only use the default one lol but ya I should look them up finally.
>>497131
I really only take off the head to get to nooks and crannies. Behind the toilet is the worst place to vacuum. I have a tiny brush head—it was probably made for behind the toilet and I haven’t used it once. I sometimes use the headless vacuum to suck dust off wall panels.

>>497069
>>497116
thank you both very much!! im actually in the process of shifting around my room to have more space so this is all very useful info to have, im gonna do my best to keep my spaces clean & see cleaning as an act of self care

I want the bissel little green so bad it’s so cute and charming

What dusters do you use? I’m using a static matic and it sucks.

Anyone a big fan of bleach? I love it, it's so useful. Disinfecting the toilet bowl, getting rid of mould spots in the shower, soaking dishcloths. Best chemical ever.

>>496208
Lmao what the fuck

>>496214
Yes. I pay attention to Luigis cock so much that the feds have forced him to cover it by handcuffing his hands to his rapebelt every time he makes an appearance

>>496208
KEK yeah it’s my right to thirst over this slut

>>496223
should say nonnies thirst over my rights

Crumbs

>>495904
Am I supposed to know who that is?

>>484837
That's literally the opposite of gold digging

>>495904
hi sivi

>>496155
Exactly, she just fell in love with a guy, how is that gold digging?

>>496155
>>497223
The point is that she intended to gold dig but ended up falling in love instead and still had a happy ending with money. The last line was sarcastic. Please get tested for autism or at least improve your reading comprehension.

>>483970
Why not anon? I'm sure you're fine

Tips for looking butch while being overweight? How do I avoid looking like a 13 year old tif? I want to cut my hair really short but I just know I will look like shit with my current wardrove.

I want to give off the same energy as these Asian butches in suits but instead I look like a fakeboi wearing her big brothers prom handmedowns.

>>493358
A lot of butches are overweight, anon. Look at classic American menswear and don’t dye your hair.

>Opinion on the terms butch? Masc?
I like the term masc, it's sad to me how the term butch within zoomers is starting to be used by a bunch of retarded gendies. I hate watching them powerscale how much T they take and the fact their retarded girlfriends always enable it. i heard the term "fat butch bodies" be used once and I wanted to kill myself. I'll use both terms interchangeably though
>>409686
>laugh about it with her male friends
I wouldn't call her a "pick me" because that term only applies to osas but she definitely wants some validation and to feel more like a scrote herself if she's doing that shit around moids. I don't get why other butches kiki with moids but some lesbians act like that and it's so retarded. she probably did that shit for her own amusement too duh but doing it with moids is especially lame
>>409676
i remember seeing this kek, the ftm ones always look stinky

I've been in therapy for over a year trying to heal from a narcissistic relationship that ended almost four years ago. I know I'm getting better, but I'm just so sad it happened in the first place and that it destroyed me for so long. I think I'm finally starting to feel like myself again, and it's very unusual. I've literally never had this thought or desire at any point before, but the other week, I found myself wanting to contact my ex. I won't, but I almost miss him. These past three years I had never felt anything positive towards him after leaving him, and all of sudden I'm getting emotional about the good times. Why now? Maybe I just finally feel safe enough to explore that aspect of the relationship.


Also, I don't know if this anon >>407979 will see this but if you do I am still thinking of you fondly and hoping that you are doing okay. I hope you've found some peace in the present.

I know everyone's story is different but I learned something about certain abusers from my marriage (which just ended officially on paper THIS WEEK). He never took pleasure in the abuse. He didn't see himself as a controller or an authority. He always did it because he saw it as self defense when he was victimized. I feel like I got an idea from movies that a man would hit you for fun, or because he's some kind of sadist who accepts and enjoys being a bad person. So it threw me for a loop because he always made me feel like I was victimizing him in some way.
I "hurt him" when:
>I didn't send pictures to prove that I was out with friends instead of cheating
>I asked him to wash; he had "childhood neglect trauma" that I activated because his hippie mother never taught him to bathe or brush his teeth
>I stayed late at work, because it triggered his abandonment issues
>I listened to other musician friends' music, because I should have known he's self-conscious about his music and needs extra validation
>I spoke to someone too long at a party, which triggered his social anxiety
>I wouldn't let him have sex with me, because again, triggered his anxiety
>and more
It was because I was a horrible partner who failed to placate his many sensitivities. So I deserved to get stonewalled for days, have things thrown at me, get locked out of the house, and driven miles away to be kicked out of the car and abandoned on the side of the road. It really is still amazing that some people abuse because they think they are victims standing up for themselves.

>>455659
Sounds like male bippie behavior with the way every ounce of abuse you receive from them is justified in their eyes because they tell themselves it's your fault and insist that they are the eternal victims, with the constant need for validation over the littlest things, and needing your life to revolve around them 24/7 or they'll feel "abandoned".

>>455659

This is exactly how my abuser operated too.

My crying was just attempts to guilt trip him. My wanting to spend time with him was just attempts to isolate him. My wondering where the man I first met just attempts to idealize him. My confrontations on his inconsistent behaviors and words were just attempts to gaslight him. So on and so forth. In the end, everything had to go his way, on his terms, with no responsibilities or considerations towards me, else I was controlling him and he was not living as his authentic self.

I realized later that he was constantly triangulating and cheating on me (at least emotionally). He's 30, has dozens of exes with only a few months each, yet somehow all of the breakups are never his fault. A preference for GNC & tifs, which we all know are an at risk population for abuse. Claims to be asexual, but I'll bet he just objectifies/degrades women and has a porn addiction.

Honestly, so glad he discarded me. Huge, huge, huge bullet dodged. He has major signs of ASPD/NPD. I failed to see just how much danger I was in until the trauma bond withdrawals calmed down. I've had so much support from friends, coworkers and my therapist in processing and preventing any real hoovering.

Honestly, walking away from him post-discard has taught me that I can walk away from anyone. And the relief from no longer being manipulated 24/7 has made being alone so peaceful. I used to be scared of being alone, but now I understand my true fear is being objectified, degraded, manipulated. I couldn't see him for what he was in the middle of it all.

Always trust your body. It understood long before I did consciously that this man was not safe.

Dealing with reactive abuse. My partner of 4 years will bait and provoke me in arguments to suck me in. Follow me around the house, even outside as I’m trying to get some space so things don’t escalate. I can’t win nonnies, I just want out of this. I feel so ashamed because I’ve posted on this thread a year plus ago and I’m still in this same situation. I have stopped getting angry and giving the other party the satisfaction in arguments however. I still feel so defeated.

>>493297
And lmao the ‘adorable baby’ men are the fucking worst, speaking from personal experience

>>493280
All actors are cheaters though, so that could be said for basically every guy posted on /g/ kek. They're probably only into his looks

>>476390
South italians, Maltese and Greeks have Legitimately have pre-neolithic West Asian genes but equating Anatolian farmers with modern West Asians is nonsense. It means that even Nordic people are part "middle eastern" according to this logic. Balts, who have the least Anatolian genes, are 1/3 Barcin.(derailing)

>>443194
disgusting ape

>>476394
Spoiler this, like no srsly

>>493716
You get it

>>493707
Perfect neck

>>493714
Vote for chained up Luigi thread pic

>>493720
Ahh cute imagine licking him like that and he smiles and squirms because it’s tickly and warm

Hi I usually make op but I'm busy today! I'll leave you to it

>>473370
he fits the female gaze a lot
Cute

>>473370
He looks exactly like a really pretty TiF i follow except he's actually a man… Rarest type of male beauty

>>479126
I hate his personality but honestly still would. Only thing is his arms are so grotesquely hairy.

>>477321
>>479152
post TIFs in the attractive women thread?

>>477387
Francis-nonna…I loved him in the earlier seasons