Came today to lurk but this hit me hard. No need to waste time with old feels but been in the same situation as a guy, the words resonate. Managed to pull myself to go to concerts after i hit 20 and the first girl that gave me attention became my first gf after a month because i was starved for emotion (and frankly misled that I needed sex in my life). Moved in with her and got physically abused for 6 months (severe beatings, hair pulling, getting cut and getting burned with cigs) until i realized where i was and wtf i was doing to myself just for companionship and moved back home. After 2 years of lone time i clicked with another girl, herself a virgin a year younger, and she is my gf now. because of her evil controlling mom she became unconsciously very egoistic and due to this she has some kind of emotionally induced vaginitis, practically cant enjoy herself if she doesnt suffer and so emotionally and sexually i am in the same horrid place. I mentioned sex twice because both of you think you should take it into consideration when you choose to stop the loneliness… I did and ended up very, very badly. Still hanging on and will get better but if I could choose just out of love with a straight mind I would do it. Don't fucking become someone's meat to play around with. NOT worth it, not in a hundred years. If you can accept a suggestion, have a lot of patience with yourself. Because others won't. There is still time and if you improve for your own benefit the chances of finding someone will too.