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I cant wait to have a family with my partner. Im studying childhood studies so i think i will be capable of giving them the care they need…or at least aspire to.
in terms of pregnancy im not looking forward to the possible morning sickness and terrible stretch marks.i already have a shit ton of them and ive always been skinny - a good indicator that i will get a shit ton of stretch marks during pregnancy too.
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>30 years old, in a relationship for almost 8 years now.
>He has four kids from previous marriage.
>Kids range from 12-17. Two boys and two girls.
>Boys are a pain when they're little but are easy teens.
>Girls are easy when they're little but are a pain when they're teens.
>Their biological mother is BPD, meth addict, and recently got arrested for drug cultivation and distribution.
>Dealing with her manipulations for years.
>Kids have been emotionally and psychologically abused by her. One even attempted suicide at her house.
>Her shithead husband is physically abusive towards her and has threatened boys on numerous occasions.
>Been fighting through the courts for years trying to get full custody.
>We finally got it after she was arrested.
>Kids are happiest they've ever been and feel safe now.
>Too many ups and downs over the years.
>Parents pressuring me lately to have my own children.
>They're older so it's almost like their dying wish to see their grandchildren.
>I'm an only child so it's all up to me.
>I have no idea if I want my own after dealing with all the craziness over the years.
>This is my life.
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I really want to adopt (and have them as my only child), but it's hard to find a partner who would want to do that as well
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I always go through periods of baby fever. Having been pregnant before (I chose abortion) I know how horribly my body reacts to pregnancy. Fainting, nausea, headaches, mood swings, sore boobs…ugh, it was just the worst. It was like I got every symptom in the book, at the earliest possible weeks that they could appear.
Morning sickness sucks fucking balls, anon.Not to mention you get really sensitive to all sorts of smells. Of all things that got me to actually dry heave, it was the smell of a sandwich. A SANDWICH. And it can ruin so many good foods for you as well. I would eat some pasta for dinner and find it delicious, then look back on it a few hours and be repulsed by it. Then my brain would do this weird thing where it would keep thinking about pasta and flashing its images of gross squirming worm-like noodles into my brain. Ugh, I still can't enjoy it to this day, and it's been a year since.
My brother just got married, and his wife is basically infertile do to some problem with her uterus. They said they might adopt someday, but they aren't too keen on the idea. I fucking love kids and would love to raise a family someday, but I live in constant fear of having a baby at a time in my life where I'm not as ready as I could possibly be financially (hence my past abortion.) I'm honestly scared of giving my future kids a shitty life.
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I just found out that im 5 weeks pregnant and im terrified. im 21 and my boyfriend is 28. he says hes totally ready for kids (except financially)… i just dont know if im ready to give up my drunk partying lifestyle yet. im also in nursing school with three more years to go and he doesnt have any education after high school. anyone else been in a situation like this?
pic related, me rn
If you want kids you want kids, and no one can convince you otherwise. That being said, you sound like you actually hate 'raising' a kid, but don't mind being around them for a few hours, to play, or whatever. My parents were strict but they were fair and explained why I couldn't have something if I "whined about it" (and boy did I ever). They had the patience and tenacity to stick with it, even through the temper tantrums and screaming and puking. It isn't for everyone, and liking kids generally is NOT the same thing as enjoying raising one.
Ask yourself if you're up for the task of shaping a human being into a functional, mostly respectful and law abiding citizen. Given how many fuck that up, it's a monumental task that should only be undertaken when you're %100000000 sure, and willing to sacrifice your life, your happiness, your enjoyment for THEIRS.
Specific to your situation anon - if you have no reproductive issues you should be able to have kids for a long time. There is no reason to have one now if you can hold off to be more stable later on. Kids, statistically, do better in homes that have stable financial income and a supportive and loving environment. That second one generally means 'no revolving doors' - you don't have to be married or even in a relationship to have a kid and raise them well, but you do want to keep ANYTHING to do with your sex life (frequency, ect ect) so removed from their life it isn't even funny. They shouldn't meet casual flings or anything like that, the only person that you can introduce as a possible 'partner' or 'boyfriend' should be a solid, wants to settle down kind of guy. Even when parents do have a more relaxed sexual life, separating that from their kids helps ensure they develop their own sexuality at their own pace and without your opinions.
It's okay anon, you're young. No one expects you to know how to rear a kid or do a good job — you're barely out of 'discovering yourself' phase. I'm 27 and I'm only starting to figure myself out and part of that is health reasons. I'm never going to have kids, and it's partially due to the conversation I had with my mother about her mom. She's a very distant mother and my own mom does love her, dearly. She also said my grandmother probably…shouldn't have had them. She wasn't well enough equipped psychologically to take care of them really well. My grandfather is so loving and dedicated, 3/4 great kids is not bad especially with mental disorders in the family. But I'm glad my mom was honest with me, because I think she knew I felt some doubt, and she is very happy to have kids. But she wanted me to know it's not uncommon or unknown for women not to want to have kids, or not even be great at rearing them. It doesn't make them any less amazing, and my grandmother tried her best. It's really up to the individual.
Honestly, I think it's fine if you maybe want kids but just not NOW, and decide to abort it. Like I said if you're decently healthy 'down there', you can have kids later. My friend has had 3 abortions (2 because of faulty procedures though) – but it never affected her potential fertility. I trust you'll think about this, and maybe talk to friends who are also young and had kids about their honest experiences.
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Everyone has so many different opinions when it comes to children, but it seems like there aren't many people here who actually have them.
I always wanted to be child free. My boyfriend and I decided we didn't want kids when we got together over 4 years ago. Accidents happen, though. I have a 7 month old baby, now. It sucks. I'm one of the people that DESPISES babyhood. I'm so glad it only lasts a little while, because I'm about to go fucking crazy. I know I'm going to have so mucb fun with him when he can walk/talk and gets a little independance, though. I'm willing to answer any questions I can about being a mom. Also, I'm 23, if that matters.
I don't think I want children, but my fiance brings it up all the time. He's got baby fever more than I do. It's almost a deal breaker for me, but we've been together 5 years. I have talked to him about it before, and he says he'll still accept whatever happens, but he's trying real hard to get me to change his mind. I don't have much experience around children or babies and don't really have the instinct I suppose. But what scares me way more than babies are teenagers. I cannot deal with bullshit from teens. I'm a shy and quiet person, so I can imagine my kid would be bullied or something and I don't want to see my kid go through that. And kids are so expensive! I guess it's selfish, but I want to spend money on ME. Travel, hobbies,clothes, etc. If I do have kids, I just hope for all boys. I have all brothers and I'm the.only girl. I have no idea how to deal with girls.
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I want children, but I'm piss scared of them being mentally challenged. I don't think I could handle it. I'm so terrified of this possibility that, even though I want biological kids, I might just adopt to be absolutely sure.
I have no hatred for mentally challenged people at all. I just, personally, couldn't do it.
I'm with him because he's given me stability I never had and I like this country more than my own and I don't want to leave it. He also helps me with my mental issues but there's no denying that he does take advantage of me
Anons, how does one decide whether or not they want to have a child?
I'm having a really hard time deciding this and the pressure only gets worse, even though I'm only fucking 23y.o. atm.
Having a child could be nice and kids are so cute when they are little(around 1-10 years old), but…What will I do when they are too little and then when their puberty will begin? Pregnancy is a nightmare, babies are terrifying and I have no idea what to do with them, and teenagers are kind of fucked up, there's no way I'd be able to keep my child from becoming a trainwreck.
And how can I possibly raise a child into a normal person? I'm 23 and I have no fucking idea how to be an adult myself and what to do with my own life. And thanks to my mother I don't even have an idea how to have a normal relationship with a child.
But then again, having a child could be nice, and I'd really like to see how my genes+my hubby's genes will turn out.
I'm hoping that a genetic test which I'll do later this year will help me decide, there are a couple of serious problems that run into our family, even some history of mental illness on my mom's side, but until I know just how bad it is, its kind of not convincing enough…
Also my husband is very "meh" about kids right now and actually promised me that if I'd want a child someday he'll get us a 3rd cat lol.
Maybe I'll get lucky and he will never want a child at all, so I won't even have to make a decision myself.
Sorry for broken english
I'm 23 also, had my son at 22. Speaking from a mom's perspective, it's not all that bad (yet.) He's an adorable little lump. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when he gets older, but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Every pregnancy is different. You might get lucky, like I did, and have no problems at all. Or, you might be one of those who has "morning sickness" your entire pregnancy.
Now, speaking from my own experience outside of just motherhood, don't do it. You sound like you're on the fence, but leaning towards "no." If the only reason you want to have children is to see what they'd look like and to carry on your genes, this is not the life choice for you. It's fucking hard when they're newborns and you get like 3 hours of sleep a night for 4 months straight. It'll make you question your sanity every minute of every day. It's hard when they rely on you for EVERYTHING. Obviously, you won't be able to live your life the same way you are now, except a baby is just there. I'm not sure if anyone has actually talked to you about having kids, but you've probably heard how it basically flips your daily life upside down.
Have confidence anon. I was the same when I was pregnant. I was filled with so much love for my baby and my anxiety was through the roof about things I couldn't control.
You'll be fine as long as you have patience for your little one and try to understand them at all stages of life. It's amazing knowing the differences between their cries and being able to just know what they need even when they can't talk yet.
The first three months are rough but it's so worth it. And don't worry about spoiling your child. Everyone told me that if I'm always around my son he wouldn't learn how to be independent and always clingy. But I was with him 24/7 since he was born until he started walking on his own. He loves me but if I have to go to work or if I leave him with someone else he doesn't mind. He's independent and he trusts the people around him. :)
Preggo anon back and I'm honestly kind of desperate.
My insurance sucks. But they give me free prenatal appointments, so yay, right?
Except my doctor is extremely negligent, does not care, does not ever listen to me, and I recently put two and two together that the practice regularly and as a general rule practices insurance fraud.
They've been diagnosing me with utter bullshit and even going as far as to diagnose me secretly so they can bill the insurance. I cannot trust them. Its so bad that once I had pneumonia and it took them 5 consecutive visits to put a stethoscope to me even though I begged, because I could feel the fluid in my lungs.
So now I've been having some cramping with my pregnancy. Its probably nothing, but the internet said I should go to the OB/GYN and check.
My doctor's office is across town, and every time I've tried to call them and get appointments closer or switch doctors they insist to me I can't do that? Even though that is bullshit?
I feel so powerless. There's a hospital nearby, but I don't know if they take my insurance, and they have tons of doctors out of network so its a huge risk.
I don't know what to do. I just want to cry. I haven't even been able to have my first prenatal appointment because of this.
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Shittily made Facebook meme is shittily made, but this is essentially how I feel. Better to go ahead and have kids (if you want them) when you're young. If you don't want them, then whatever, this doesn't apply to you I guess.
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No it has to do more with age than anything. It's also healthier for a pregnant woman to be slightly chubby.
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There was a big age gap between me an my brother too. It felt like I might as well just have had my own kid since I was responsible for him all the time.
It's only hard when they're young I think. Everyone else I know who have kids close in age seem to be better put together.
I'm in my early 20s and I definitely want children and to be a mom, but my life is not at all together right now. I'm hoping I'll find someone and be married not too many years from now, and we can start trying for a child pretty much right after.
If you are comfortable with terminating a pregnancy if there is a problem with the fetus, there is testing that can detect a lot of problems before the child is born. My mom was older when she had kids, so she has these tests done when she was pregnant with me. https://archive.is/EHTdz
There isn't a test for everything, but it is still useful.
Contact the insurance company. The last thing they want is to be defrauded.
Honestly my biggest turn off is just the thought that I won't have time for myself. Or not very much at least. 99% sure I will have to work at least part time, because usually one salary is not enough here to sustain an acceptable life. And I'd never want to give up having my own money I can spend at my own shit. Looking around and hearing from most other women, I am sure that most of the household stuff will be left to me as well; sure, there might be ways to train your man into helping but as said, looking around friends and family in 90% the women is doing most of the chores. (And my SO would probably work full time too.) And then I'll have to entertain and care for the child?
I know the ~le intorivert~-meme is kinda overdone on the internet, but I am an introvert and I'm kinda selfish. I want time for myself, where I am alone, can do what I want, and can go do my hobbies without being disturbed. And I want quite a bit of that. Sure I love my SO and my family, but I also love the time alone. Right now I can't even imagine moving in with my SO without having my own space/room completely for myself, and I can even less imagine not having my own time on top of that.
Plus the thought that everytime I want to go out, I need to find a sitter, spend money on the sitter, have to consider the child and its needs… No way you can just enjoy an evening out or grab a coffee with your friends in peace, you'll have to plan everything in advance and rely on a sitter or grandparents to watch the child.
Sure I'd love the child, but how much would I love being a mother when I have to sacrifice what I like and need? Probably not a lot.
Maybe there are some lolcow moms who can share their experience. But right now while I do want kids one day I am super afraid of becoming one of the regretting motherhood-people. Not because I don't want children, but maybe because my personality and circumstances don't match well with having children.
Actually its really inconclusive if precum has sperm in it. Some studies say yes, some studies say no, others say it depends on the guy. A lot of people rely on the pull out method enough for Planned Parenthood to consider it a genuine birth control method (https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/withdrawal-pull-out-method
If you're unsure, take a pregnancy test and use condoms from now on. It isn't a guarantee that you could or could not be pregnant. It is more likely that a dudes precum could have sperm in it if hes already ejaculated.
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If you're so unsure, and your wording is "I wanna have a child to keep my SO happy", maybe you have to rethink your life and your relationship. Anon here >>136231 is quoting something different, but the question remains - you didn't give a single reason here on why you would even want a child, aside from pressure from other people.
> prevent putting it through the strain of such a lasting big disagreement for a couple I will have to give in in the future and have a child.
Honestly that wording makes my skin crawl. "Give in" to your SO and have a child??
A child will stick to you until the end of your life. For the first two decades it will live under your roof, share your space, demand your attention. It will influence your life, health, decisions, every step that you make. If you are not happy about the child, what do you think will do that to your relationship? Do you think you can maintain a happy, healthy relationship with that kind of attitude towards something as big as a child? And how will your child feel, born only to save a relationship? Usually these arrangements don't work out too well.
Of course I can only judge you from this little post but honestly, you don't sound like you should have a child now, and maybe never. And it might cost your your relationship, which sucks and I am sorry for that. But if you really do not want a child, having one might end up costing you your relationship, and a lot of that on top as well.
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I would love to have a sweet baby with my wonderful boyfriend, but we currently have shit jobs and opposite hours. He's a night time dish washer and I am a 9-6 dental assistant. I hardly see him as it is and having a baby right now would mean that we would have even less alone time together. I'm not ready for that sacrifice yet. We also don't make a lot of money so there is that too. It is very sad that I can't have a sweet family with him based on long hours and shit pay.
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I don't want to give birth, but I think I want to adopt children someday. If I'm financially able to, I'd like to have a big family
I'm in the opposite situation actually, and I'm gonna hijack your post (sorry). Recently celebrated my 3 year anniversary with my boyfriend. He's honestly the perfect fit for me, I'm extremely lucky to have met him. But I want children, like, I really want children. But whenever I talk about it, he just completely shuts me down. I understand we're not very financially stable at the moment, and we haven't been together too long (3 years together is too soon to have kids with someone IMO) but to completely shut me down and say he never wants children hurts. Our relationship is so great, I can really see us sticking together forever, so it bothers me that this one thing we just can't agree on, because it's a big deal to me. I wouldn't leave him over this, but it hurts. I want to be a mother one day and have children of my own to raise and love and I want him to be the father of those children and…he doesn't want that and I can't have that. I just have to hope maybe he changes his mind. Anybody else deal with this?
Even when I was a little girl, I never found the idea of family appealing. Pregnancy has always grossed me out, and I fear it and am disgusted by it so fiercely that I think it'd be safe for me to classify it as a phobia. I'm sexually active, and I've been on steady birth control since I was 16 years old.
I don't like kids, I never have. They annoy me. I hate having to dumb myself down to talk to them, I hate having to play along with their dumb little games and scenarios. I hate pretending like I care about what they think, and I hate how all my friends that have become moms are all about their kids (i know they should be, but it still annoys me. some people aren't THAT into it and understand that not everyone wants to hear about their kids 24/7 and all the dumb irrelevant things they did in their life)
I had a friend go through 2000 pictures on his phone to show me his little girls doing various mundane things.
My on and off again boyfriend has major baby fever, always has. He knocked up a girl 6 years ago and they had both wanted it, but it was a bad relationship and the girl is a trashy psycho. Needless to say the relationship didn't work out.
He's also a narcissist, very selfish, cruel, and pessimistic. I've told him many times how he's not fit to be a father and he shouldn't have even had a kid in the first place, and that hell no i'm not having his children, EVER. even if I did want to have a kid I would never have his.
I've never gotten the maternal urge. I'm very protective and motherly to my friends and pets, but that's the extent of it. I don't desire children and I don't want to adopt either. Being pregnant and having to give birth and raise a kid would be my worst nightmare.
I'm comfortable with this.
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old comment but holy fuck this place is a shithole
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Any lesbians in here who have had kids? It's probably unlikely since we make up ~1% of the population and then only 1/5 same sex couples raise children. I didn't think I wanted kids unless I started watching this one lesbian couple on YT who is having a child through a sperm donor and it warmed my heart
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>last year got a new job at a group home
>get ass kicked daily by an autist twice my size
>gets so bad that i'm covered in bruises and shaky when i walk
>quit job due to fear
>still have horrible nightmares about attacks a year later
I used to think i'd want a kid someday but after that experience, i'm to scared of all the things that could go wrong.
on top of that, i'm mentally ill and probably couldn't function without my meds which i would have to stop taking if i didn't want my baby to be seriously fucked up
That's not much of an option. If I have it, I want it to be a good one. >>136299
fairly more realistic option, but hindered by laws in my state which make second trimester abortion illegal
also I don't know if autism or tardrage is detectable yet, I don't know anything about it.
only maternity place I know of that has cute shit is this one http://www.apeainthepod.com/
I heard about it like 5 years from someone's pregnancy vlog.
Went from Lakynn to Laekynn? Laikynn?
Also I fucking hate that kind of handwriting.
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I guess so.
I can imagine the retarded potato jokes that kid will get.
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Her other son is named Tittan, but I don't think there is a blackboard picture of her name selection process.>>50307
Maybe there's a conception that babies don't REALLY feel pain like older children do? If parents feel comfortable circumcising baby boys, they might have less reservations about piercing baby girls' ears.
Though, where I live, the pierced ears seem to be more popular with Hispanic and African-American families. Hispanic families tend to mostly only pierce girls ears, but I see a lot of African-American baby boys with pierced ears. So it's probably a cultural thing. (Please nobody derail this with race-baiting.)
Diapers, unless they're using cloth ones. I appreciated those the most at my baby shower. Check with the mother to see if she has a brand preference. We tried all brands with ours and Pampers were the one we settled on. My kid seemed happier in them.
A gift card is always nice. Maybe some essentials like diaper cream, baby lotion etc, unless, of course the mother and father are picky with that kind of stuff.
Diapers are good. But try not to get newborn sized because sometimes they pop fresh out the vag wearing the next size up.
Gift cards are so much more appreciated at baby showers because the parents are usually hoping for something off of their registry, but since people just usually want to buy cute baby clothes the important/useful stuff gets left out and with a gift card they can just get what they need or save some money on a really big purchase like a carseat.
Cash also works in the above situation, but try to make it thoughtful by at least writing a card and explaining why you are giving cash/a gift card.
Diapers in sizes from newborn to 6 months.
Baby thermometer, nail clippers, swaddling blankets, extra bottles and nipples, burping cloths, baby socks in sizes from newborn to 1 year, cream for mums nipples if she's breastfeeding, baby sling, gift card for mum to get a pair of pants or a shirt that fits her postpartum body, the offer of a night off when baby is old enough for a sitter.
I've thought of this but never actually done it. I'll give it a try and see if it makes any difference.>>50321
Yeah we are both hot heads. I try to be as chill about it as possible so I don't just make a stressful situation worse but most of the time i want to go in the other room and scream. If i didn't know better sometimes I'd say she has accidents to try and piss me off lol.>>50322
Oh yeah. She knows what she's doing. Sometimes she's in the mood for a reward and sometimes she's not, but you're right, I've noticed that even when it comes to pottying for a reward it's never poop. She only ever pees in there. And a lot of the time i can tell that she just made herself pee on the chance that she'll get something out of it because it will just be like, a tablespoon of pee. Lol>>50323
Honestly I'm ashamed to say yes I have and she could give two fucks less. One time I just let her stay in a shitty diaper so long she got a bad rash and i felt neglectful. I told her you have this rash now because you didn't use the potty. She didn't give a fuck. She's the most stubborn human I've ever encountered.
She had a checkup on friday and the pediatrician said she'll just do it when she's emotionally ready. It's super frustrating and hard to not just give up.
It'll be okay. You'll get to your deadline and once you start trying and finally conceive, you'll feel a good grace period where you can breath and work some stuff out.
I am currently 22 weeks and I was hoping to secure a new job before I got pregnant but that didn't work out so I'm kinda just dealing with it as it comes. You'll make things work, anon! I hope you and your husband have a good support system like your families/friends because they will come in handy a lot. My husband's family has given us so much free baby stuff and we're moving back to where his parents live because they've offered to help with the baby.
But it sounds like if your friends are having babies and such, you'll have a lot of good resources and people to talk to. Nobody has their shit together 100 percent when they have kids, anon. I'm starting to realise that.
Also unrelated, but question for pregnant ladies or former ones, is crotch/vaginal pain normal in second trimester? I've been getting semi sharp pains in my right side for a few days and they're really annoying.
Because that's how our species survived. If we didn't feel that yearning for a child from time to time humans might've died out a long time ago.
It might go away, it might grow stronger, try to stay calm and think about why right now is not a good time.
I know it's not a good time, so I'll have to wait. I'd hate to have a more difficult than necessary experience with children, because I was rushing.>>54501
Well this is an interesting thread to be bumped i'll give my 2 cents.
I would describe myself as antenatal for several reasons
-childbirth is painful and physically/emotionally taxing on women.
-childbirth is dangerous to womens health.
-fear of overpopulation and drain of human life on resources.
-ignorance towards adoption and the view of adoption as a "last resort" for having a child.
-the conflation of having my own offspring as a reflection of vanity.
-additional expense of new person as a tax on resources.
-fear of genetic abnormalities and hereditary disorders being inherited by offspring.
This is a biggy for me, severe autism is a heritable trait passed on by my mother to me and my siblings as carriers we have a 50/50 chance of one of our offspring inheriting it, not the cliche autism shit people make fun of on the internet real shit, banging on the wall and throwing shit autism. With this comes seizures and phenotypic traits I could never wish on a any fucking human being. Although I'd love my offspring to inherit traits I deem good I can't take the possibility of such horrible shit that would ruin another humans life. There are countless hereditary disorders and disabilities I can't discount because of the severity they cause on sufferers and the people around them.
-I'd be a shit parent lul. I hate kids.
-Lack of sufficient funds to keep their quality of life high.
The pressure to conceive offspring is a widely felt societal pressure on women, it exists for good reason as a biological imperative. Getting away from our animal nature is always greeted with hostility though social change takes decades to be introduced and accepted even now abstaining from child bearing is STILL a controversial thing among women, this shit needs to change imo.
I obviously have no disdain for women who choose to have children it's a great thing to be a part of socially though I can't help thinking about the future implications it will have on the gene pool and overpopulation of humanity. I'd never force abortions nor births on any women I would have no right to. I'm only 19 but have considered adoption later in life after University of course. I have a high regard of life as being sacred but am pro-choice for the sake of woman's sexual freedom, I feel it should be necessary to prove that one has sufficient income,time,mental stability and intelligence to raise a child rather than the last minute, redneck lazy current system in most of the western world religious kooks tend to have a fuck tonne of kids 8+. I also like the idea of limiting the number of children parents can have like the 1 child policy in China to put off overpopulation for a while,perhaps limit it to 2 or 3 children per couple? Something mildly conservative but still allowing for a decent number of children. Adoption should be a first priority for every child-seeking couple to prevent the suffering of orphans it's sickening to see vain couples more obsessed with designer babies than dying fucking parent-less children, the couples that try every fertility treatment under the sun to prevent having DNA that isn't their own. There's no other excuse for it other than vanity.
If the social attitude towards adoption being seen as a "last resort" and "other" "weird" option for having a child were to change perhaps the general quality of life of children would increase in the western world? Idk, it could backfire for all I know.
I am a mother, but I agree with you. Maybe because I got pregnant by surprise. Luckily, my boyfriend and I have stepped up and we're a pretty happy family all things considered, but I know not everyone can just suddenly do that. As far as adoption goes, when we talked about children, that was preferred. We wanted to adopt and never have bio children. I guess nature and failing bc had a different idea. Anyway, my virtue signalling, Women's March attending feminist "sister in law" is on her 4th pregnancy. I would think adoption would get her more brownie points with the SJW crowd, but I guess not? She harps about wanting minorities' populations to overtake white people (she's white, her husband is white, her children are white,) but she's contributing to the white population by having more than 2 children. Ironic.
If you want parentless children to decrease, we need better access to birth control and abortion, and better options for parents to have their children stay with them.
TBH I'd be a lot more anxious about an adopted child to have various psychological and health-related problems, than it'd ever be the case with my biological child.
Well fuck me sorry for the double post but I spelled that shit wrong no wonder ya'l were fucked up maybe I am secretly an autist I meant "Antinatal" not "Antenatel"
kek the meanings couldn't be more different.
Nah fam, you still seem pretty autistic to me
My biological clock has been ticking so hard lately. I'm 25 and wasn't planning kids until my mid 30s (inb4 downs etc) but the place I work with is filled with women my age or younger with children. Recently I get embarrassed if they ask if I don't want any etc.
Have you considered adoption? It seems like you have some strong biological reason not
to have a baby. But if you adopted you could get one that's maybe a toddler and raise it as your own.
I've thought about it, and I might end up doing that in the end but I still have this desire to pass on my own genes too. I don't mean to sound "holier than thou" but I'm really proud of my line, especially my mom who is a badass but chill retired war vet and cop. She was the black sheep of her sisters, and I'm the "different" one from my cousins. I want that to continue and see what kind of person comes next, you know? I'm her only kid. >>54852
No hurt feelings, he is kinda terrible. When around close friends or just us two he's fine. When we first got together he was cool. But when he is around new people or a crowd he has this desire to be the center of attention and people love it which eggs him on more. We've talked about this though, and he's trying to do better. I've noticed he holds his tongue more often, and when he comes home he's happy to announce "The cops came/we got kicked out but it wasn't my fault this time, did I do good?"
Gosh darn it, he's doing his best.
Yea, money is something I have to put off until I'm stable enough for any of the options I want. As for bf issue, well we've been together for 8 or so years already and I've thought about ending it several times, but with the improvements he's making, I don't want to just abandoned him like that. >Scold him for actions and encourage to do better>He starts to>leave him
Feels like too much of a bitch move and I still have feelings for the guy. As for his opinion on the surrogacy/adoption/donor etc. He's cool with it. He wants to be a dad and doesn't mind alternatives, but as you said, he just may not be a good one. That saddens me.
I think the first mistake here is scolding him. Nagging is the number one worse way to get someone to change imo. Because nagging implies that he's like a child. He isn't. He's an intelligent adult dude that you picked as your partner. Either you kinda just realise he's not the one for you and you're incompatible or you learn to find humour/love that he enjoys being the centre of attention sometimes. The drinking thing can be an issue, however and I would try to approach that with an adult conversation about excess.
If, like you said, he's trying and doing his best to get better, acknowledge that as much as possible. I know it sounds dumb but you stress the good things they do, place little focus on the bad ones. Because the bad issues tend to stand out more in their minds and it's all they'll focus on but when you bring attention on the good, they'll enjoy the feeling of knowing you appreciate their efforts.
Or go about the other way, stress the things you LIKE that he does, compliment when he's being quiet and thoughtful when you're in a small group. Reinforce that those are the times you like him the most. It's like inspiring him, right? If he's like most men, he honestly wants to please you and when it clicks that you like him a certain way, he'll strive to be more like that.
I've been with the same guy for 10 years, married for almost 7 now and my husband used to have a bad case of the lazy when it came to mess and I eventually realised getting angry about it wasn't helping. So I figured out how to get him to pitch in when I was cleaning was to simply ask in a pleasant tone that while I was doing the dishes/vaccuming/etc, could he help collect the trash/clean the counters/etc for me. 'For me' is the operative words to stress here because it makes him seem important (because he is) and that I'm trusting him to do this for me. And if we're both cleaning/doing chores together, we're being a team and keeping each other company, right? And I always, always remember to thank him. Always. Whatever it is. And he does the same whenever I do anything for him. You can start to easily take for granted things in long term relationships and that can breed a certain sort of unconscious resentment.
I'm not, like, any sort of relationship expert and this is purely going on my own experience of marriage and watching my parents, but yeah. I hope some of this makes sense. You need to trust him a little more that he can be an adult and step up the plate. Also, consider why you were attracted to him in the first place and why you stay with him (and he stays with you) You don't whittle away 8 years with someone just for no reason.
Also, it comes across a little…idk, callous to think that your genes are so more perfect than his that he'd be the weak link in any potential children or that he'd just automatically be a bad father. If that's truly how you feel towards him deep down, I feel kinda sorry for him that the person who is supposed to love him thinks that he isn't 'on par' with them. If that's truly how you feel, then, yeah. IDK man. I would end it for his sake.
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This is probably going to be a pretty unpopular opinion but am I the only one who thinks that moms who formula feed NOT out of necessity are incredibly selfish? The benefits of breastfeeding are indisputable, and if you're not willing to do what's best for your child, you shouldn't have one. Period end.
Breastfeeding my daughter was absolute hell at first and it's still a struggle months later. She wouldn't latch due to a tongue tie so I had to feed her pumped milk for 3 weeks. It was such a nightmare. We've had every issue under the sun from insufficient weight gain to extreme nipple pain, and we persevered until we got the hang of it because THAT'S WHAT MOMS SHOULD DO.
There are so many moms who have to formula feed because of medications or other problems and it breaks their heart. I just don't understand how anyone could choose to not breastfeed.
there are apparently a lot of health benefits to breast feeding. iirc it has something to do with developing your immune system. they say c-sectioned babies have the same immune issues too. (i'm not knocking people who can't breastfeed/give birth due to medical concerns, just saying that there are health concerns)
i was neither breastfed (mom didn't want to) nor given birth to (mom couldn't give birth due to my size) and i ended up kinda sickly lol. tons of health issues. i have a naturally weak body and the lack of nutrients in infancy prob didn't help.
I didn't breastfeed my kid but I pumped so he was still getting breastmilk.
I don't think it's a huge deal if women don't breastfeed. I'm not going to criticize anyone for not doing it. Mothers should support each other, not be judgemental about shit like this. You have enough going with a newborn and crazy hormones, the last thing you need is someone turning their nose up at you for not doing something they perceive is right.
I was a breastfed C-section baby and I'm fine.
Definitely frail-looking, but healthy as a horse and could probably beat all of y'alls dad in a bar fight.>>55283
IA, some women can't breastfeed for a variety of reasons, including but not limited to mastectomy and old age. It's hard enough for some mums to conceive (like mine), I'm sure they would've loved to if they could.
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My gf recently found she has cervical cancer. She asked me if I wanted kids and I did not have an answer. Right now I don't but I think in future I might want some. At this point its too late for her to be the one to carry a kid. She sounds like she really does not want a surrogate mother but if I had a kid Id like it to be my own. Im not gonna leave her, but Im worried she wont want me to ever have a kid. I just dont know how to feel about it.
Well they can save her eggs and your supermarket and implant it in a surrogate. I mean, if she wants kids and her cancer makes her unable to have one she will not have much of a choice.
I'm really sorry both of you are going through that. I hope for the best for you guys.
Ah well, it's about the fact that fewer people get married here (or after way longer amount of time than in the us).
I guess we would marry if they're was an interesting tax break for it or to avoid custody shanahagans if by miracle we popped a parasite.
France do have common law marriage stuff, tho. I seem to remember. If you give of the appeance of being married, creditors can go after both you accounts.
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So many guys posting ITT have so skewed view on so many things.
One example can be this so called overpopulation.
Firstly, as you can see on the pic, the only crammed up places are mostly Asia, the most urbanized parts of Europe, few dots in the middle east and some parts of Africa, but we'll talk about Africa in a second. America, South America, northern Asia and lot of Africa are almost barren.
If you look deeper, you'll see that it's only southern Asia that really has overpopulation problem. Europe looks populated due cities and the way how our current economic system works. Most of Europe has denisity below 200 people/km^2, which gives us 5000m^2 of land per person. Now go check averange size of propety on which family house is built. I just checked ads in my country and most are 100-2000m^2. My family has property of 400m^2 and it's quite comfy. Note I'm saying family which is few people. When I looked at size and population of my whole country, I ended up with around 8000m^2 per person.
And why do cities are so populated? Why low populated places aren't getting any of the population increase? Because our current rampant consumptionism steming from broken capitalism puts money above the people and no one will start business where there is not enough people, or those people are too poor to pay for the product as much as owner would want. And small family busines for low populations that could work in such conditions is choked by regulations and efficiency of huge corportations, wealthy enough to improve enough to pass retarded regulations, or to just create sweatshops in populated Asia, where abundance of people means low wages, and ship everything home. And people from so called shitholes move to cities for work. It's a vicious cycle.
But today left is pathetic and would rather cry for welfare funded by taxes from rampant consumptionism insetad of fixing broken system and advocating for better urban planning. I guess iphones and che gueavara shirts are enough to buy people.
Africa on the other hand is only overpopulated for its current civilization level. During colonial times South Africa alone could feed whole continent. When colonists fucked off, it all crumbled, but the fact is that we have technology and knowledge to put most of barren lands on the planet into use. Just look at the Israel doing so fine job desalinating water, while many other ME nationas, even with access to the coasts have problem with it.
And it looks like they won't ger on european/american civilization level for quite some time. The worst thing about this is that retarded left once again bleeds from heart and would rather send money and food to these people to feel better about themselves insetad of building schools and TEACHING them how to do stuff. If you want to really help them, don't fucking dig well for them, but teach them how to do it themselves. Current actions are only making them more and more dependant and are foundation of one of the biggest humanitarian crisises in the history somewhere in the future if retarded policies leading to crisis in EU/US are going to continue and at some point we won't be able to afford sending the goods to africa to maintain its "overpopulation" built on this aid.
So yeah, it's not the europeans and americans (which I assume most posters here are) need to drop their populations, but asians and africans. Population of EU and NA is around 20% of world population, while Asia is around 2/3 of the world.
Usually you'd expect left to consider such humanee problems, but todays left is full of pathetic retards who only destroy everything they touch. Even communists which fucked up a lot had at least some right ideas when it came to working hours and some urban planning. Today the most vocal left are useless SJWs and I'm bitter and mad as fuck about it.
Secondly, in a perfect world 2 kids would be 100% replacement rate, but because some people die, some never find a mate or never have kids, some are infertile etc, you actually need around 3 kids just to keep population on stable level.
There are also other things like how retirement pension system works, worst outcomes being crisis turning country into brazil tier place etc, but the point is I'm sad at how many people have so narrow horizon and complete lack of knowledge on the subject, but keeps repeating empty buzzwords.
There are also other, more personal reasons why this thread makes me sad, but I'll keep them to myself because it's borderline forcing others to live the way I find good because of my feelings, not pragmatism like example of retirement pension system.
Thank you for that map. I now see that overpopulation only happens in places human like to inhabit. Phew, TIL.
Anyway, what you're saying clearly is pulled out of your ass. In Western Europe, we make up for the slight decrease of pregnancies with immigration.
Tell us about those sad reasons, please. I guess I reeeally want to hear about how having a kid is supposed to make my life meaningful.
>>49996> husband and i decided not to have kids after we find out i have a genetic condition that causes a lot of pain and dysfunction for me (50% chance of it being passed down)> after a mourning period of 'what if' i'm totally at peace with it> last week we found out which mutation caused it, > so if we wanted to we could still have a healthy baby> but if i were to carry it my body would be in a much worse state for the rest of my life and i wouldn't be able to take care of it by myself> suddenly going through all the emotions i had when before i was at peace with never having children
i consider it unethical for us to have a child (for my husband and the child and the earth), but i am still sad
oh well. it is nice not having to spend money on children :')
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Yes, people love living in the deserts of middle east, asia and africa. They love mountains in tibet. They love maintaining coastline in Netherlands so their lands below sea level wouldn't get flooded. Everyone wants to live in the earthquake or tornado risk areas.
That's not how it works.
Also enjoy immigration at the rate allowing them to not integrate, create ghettos and rape kids at swimming pools.
And yeah, everything that doesn't match your view surely is pulled out of ass. You can't be wrong after all, can you?
You have never considered adoption or a surrogate willing to carry?
And what do you mean by worse state the rest of your life? Just curious, not accusing!
Well, yeah, racists opinions are always great, what was I thinking, I should be perpetuating the aryan race. How selfish am I not to!
Also Netherlands really is a great comparison to deserts. It's top notch argumenting, right there.
Good god, I should have a kid right now, could be as smart as you and solve this massive crisis we're having due to surpopulation!
we've considered it, especially adoption, but i'm currently disabled by my symptoms so i would have a tough time actually taking care of the child. so my husband would have to work full time and do most of the child care, which is unfair to him and the child
i have a connective tissue disorder that leads to my joints being unstable and prone to partial or total dislocations plus a bunch of other milder side effects. during pregnancy this gets ever worse due to hormones, and from what i've read of women who have the syndrome and have had children, their symptoms are often worsened permanently b/c of it. i hope that makes things clearer
I'm sorry you're going through that, anon.
If you don't mind my asking, what condition is it?
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It happened again ;_;
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I really want to have my first but no luck after attempting thus far; does anyone have tips with TTC?
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Thrice as in 3 menstrual cycles?
If you're both healthy and in your 20s, you have a good chance of conceiving within a year of stopping birth control if you're having sex regularly. It can help to use a lubricant meant for couples TTC. Some lubricants, even saliva, can harm sperm. If you're having irregular periods, it might be worth seeing a doctor, just in case something is off.
Best of luck!
I have 100% considered surrogacy. All the surrogacy 'agencies' require that you have had a successful pregnancy in the past, and still be living with the child. Which. I get. The agencies usually require that the surrogate be paid a stipened for the use of their body to grow and birth the child. And implanting a fertalized egg isn't exactly cheep, so they want to stack the deck in their favor. I do get it.
But like. I don't need to be paid. I would surrogate for free. All the couple would have to pay for would be the invetro, and any medical checkups or visits. Which– they'd be paying for anyway.
But yeah. I am 100% down for surrogacy. I just need to find a couple who doesn't back out. But. They're hard to find. All my gay friends don't want kids, and all my straight friends are conceiving naturally. It's a personal issue for many straight couples, understandably, but… god. Just. I could help some family out there, if we could just find one another.
Birth is very rarely painless, but the pain doesn't have to be as bad as you're imagining. Much in the same way that a woman's first sexual encounter is "supposed" to hurt, the pain of labor is oversold for the drama of television and media, as well as the religious aspects of 'this is a woman's punishment, if you hadn't sinned, you wouldn't be in this position.' No one comes out and says it, but the undercurrents are sure as fuck there.
Try to relax as much as you can during labor though– don't feel bad if you CANT. It's an exciting, and stressful time!
If you're comfortable doing so in advance… you might want to try stretching your vaginal opening. You'd be surprised how big it can get without ripping or tearing, and training your mind and body to realize that large things can pass through without pain could help during labor.
Chat with your midwife. Make a labor plan. It sounds like you know all the steps, you're just holding off, because acknowledging them means acknowledging the baby's almost here. Do whatever it is you need to do get in gear on that! You'll thank yourself later.
Thank you. I needed to hear that. I've been dragging my feet a lot because of some…cynical horrible thought that something will happen and I'll be left with nothing but baby clothes and items and heartbreak. I have no idea why I feel like this, either! My whole pregnancy has been really easy going and by all accounts the baby is healthy. I guess I'm trying not to get too attached on the off chance something does happen. I even put off deciding on a final name.
But I should put my bag together and call midwife to make things get sorted. And maybe start doing those exercises!
omg, I would never word vomit all this on a real couple, in real life. I agree, I would sound utterly insane, and couples dealing with infertility and wanting to start a family and all that shit don't need my issues on top of all that.
I try to stress my desire to help for altruistic reasons. But. I would not feel right charging them money. That's cash that would better be served going towards their new kid.
So– again, not to be weird, but getting into sexy times is the best way to do this, usually. It'll help you relax, lubricate, and associate with good feelings. If you have a partner, they can help you by increasing the number of fingers they use to stimulate you, internally.
Go slow. If anything hurts, stop. The idea is to teach yourself you can do this without pain, so hurting yourself is the OPPOSITE of your goal.
But uh– yeah. Get a toy (maybe an inflatable one?), or a partner, and slowly start expanding your, uh, horizons.
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my mom is in her fifties and my older brother (her eldest kid) died in his twenties. he had a serious girlfriend and was thinking about starting a family but he died before he could have kids.
i'm 23 now with a serious boyfriend, and my mom is completely obsessed with me having kids. she brings it up nearly every time we see each other, she always says "when you have kids" and sends me links to inspirational birth stories etc. multiple times i've caught her staring at my boyfriend with moony eyes and i know she's thinking about what a great dad he'd be. tbh this is all really upsetting/annoying but i also feel terrible for her because she would have had grandkids by now if my bro hadn't died.
i'm completely on the fence about having kids. i love babies and i know being a SAHM could make me really happy, but my career is important to me too, as well as partying/my social life/being free. also, my bf and i are poor af and not financially ready for kids.
some part of me wants to just get it over with and give her some kind of happiness before she dies, but the other part of me is stubborn and wants to make a point about how she's wrong to pressure me. i'm aware that parental pressure is a bad reason to have kids, but the longer i stall the meaner i feel because as i stated above, i'm on the fence and can totally picture myself as a mom.
tl;dr my mom is thirsty for grandkids and i'm a pathetic sack of shit who might give in to her demands
I never wanted kids in my life but I'm currently 26, soon to be 27 and wondering if I'm not actually on the fence.
I have a wonderful boyfriend, he loves kids but I don't. But it's the first time in forever since I've been wondering if having kids wouldn't be so bad, except whenever I think of it, nothing appeals to me.
I'm just too afraid of him leaving me when he hits 30/35 and want a family to be fulfilled.
The only positive things I can think of is when they'd be over 18 and visit once in a while and be fun to be around. I have very harsh expectations on myself and I'm afraid I'd push them on my hypothetical kids especially if they're kinda slow. I look at cows like Luna and Lotte and I shudder.
Plus I just can't see myself pregnant and delivering or even breastfeeding and having cracked nipples. The only scenario I could see myself handling is having someone getting pregnant for me and having my boyfriend take care of the kid so I could see him/her a few hours a day. Basically the worst parent ever :/
My family is cool with it but bf's family is very religious and starting to wonder when we'll pop out ours since his sister just got a baby (good thing we don't live close to them because they treat the baby as a literal miracle when all I see is a boring potato)
yes, but her overbearing attitude makes me reluctant to involve her in my hypothetical kid's life too much. she's always criticizing other parents we know and saying shit like "but you won't make that mistake 'cause i'll be here to show you the right way" etc.>>58570
i already resent my mother lmao, but you're right, it's not fair to my hypothetical kid. this makes a lot of sense.>>58573
she's in medium-poor health, various chronic pains etc. i'm not saying she won't make it to 60, it's just on my mind.
Yeah I did but he's very pleasing and easy going and I kind of choose to not dwell on that subject because I'm afraid having a hard look at it will result in a break up.
My previous serious relationship of 7 years ended up with my ex saying he thought I was going to change my mind eventually and never intended on being cool with being childless like he pretended. So I'm kinda having the feeling that he doesn't take me seriously because everyone likes to hammer down that I'll change my mind.
At this point I don't even know WHY I consider it, I just think of people saying "You'll change your mind", "Your biological clock with tick!" or "If you don't do it you're gonna regret it". I almost feel brainwashed and I don't know what is my real desire and what is ideas planted in my mind.
At the same time I don't want to break up because WHAT IF I end up craving washing poop off the walls and being an insufferable mom once I reach my thirties ? I'm really lost on this one honestly.
It seems like the most horrible painful club in the world but everybody want me in and tell me I'm gonna love losing my sleep.
oof that rly sucks about your 7 yr relationship. it was really inconsiderate of your ex to lead you on.
the positive thing is that if your biological clock starts to tick after years of not wanting kids, you'll know. like it will be fairly obvious lol and anyways you still have time to figure it out.
This might be harsh, but break up. You two will never last. He will want kids, nothing can change that. You don't. The longing and urges for kids is stronger than a relationship, and he will break up with you. He will start to resent you for not giving him the thing he will want the most. You know you don't want kids. Maybe wanting grown kids who visit once in a while isn't the same as wanting to be a mom. Because even when they are grown they will still be a huge part of your life, and you obviously don't want that. And if you get kids despite not wanting them, they will know it and it will mess them up.
Find someone who doesn't want kids. There are plenty of them out there.
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I can't have kids in my own body due to being born with MRKH, but my boyfriend is major baby crazy. He wants a family, he wants kids, multiple kids.
It isn't as simple as just wearing no condom since we'd have to go about the process of surrogacy and the HUGE cost of all that. We are both almost in our mid 20s(me 23, him 24)and we are sorta nearing that typical age. Then again that's just the social stigma and I know quite a few people in there late 30's who just had there first child.
I /think/ I want kids. there's no definite answer, some days I get hormonal and want them now but other days I'm like lmao NO, seeing as I actually babysit my boyfriends little brother for an entire year so I know exactly what it's like raising a kid(We lived in his parents house so.. rippo.)
Beyond even wanting kids or planning, we definitely don't have the cash. Neither of has a college degree or even a set career in mind to hold a stable house hold, we barely get by with us two. I don't even know if my eggs are even good kek.
Have you tried saying this to her? Like– pretty much exactly this? "I know brother's kid ruined grandkids for you, and you can only think of me during my bad times, but I really need a mom to talk to, and you are failing me."
Maybe not the failing part. But if she's any sort of a decent mother, that should be enough of a splash of reality to snap her out of it. If not– you're probably better off without :(
I have but again, my mother is absolutely convinced she'll end up having to care for my child (even though we live two days away BY PLANE) and I have no idea how to care for a child (even though I've been a nanny for infants/children my entire career.)
I've just stopped speaking to her because every conversation ends with her being negative and I'm hoping when I actually give birth she'll change her mind. >>58719
My wife is an only child and her parents are much older, so unfortunately no. Plus, the intense homophobia. My own aunt is dealing w drug addiction so I can't for that either. I have made some mom friends, but I just really want my own mother to care lol. My only comfort is my kid wont be an idiot like my brother's.
thank you anon. again because I'm petty and bitter, I am greatly comforted that my baby is planned and greatly wanted, and we have nice stuff we can buy ourselves, while my brother's kid was purely a trap and he still hasnt married her (which was her intent.)
In the ultimate bid of petty, I found out which certain cribs she wanted (and didnt get since theyre trailer trash) and got it. my not sister in law was pissed af. thats what you get for ruining what I always wanted.
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I already posted this in the confessions thread but I'm terrified.
I'm pregnant, and I'm not even entirely sure who the father is, considering I have history as a sex worker and just being a general slut (in my defense, i have extreme HPD, but >excuses)
I'm almost sure it's a guy I met on fucking 4chan. People know about it too, I've got people fucking gossiping about it online.
I'm not mentally well, not to mention I have an eating disorder. I'm not fit to be a mother at all, but I don't want to abort it, and he's strongly against abortion.
I'm sure this is going to either end in miscarriage or I'll fuck this child's life up.
I can't even at this point. You can't abort a child 2 months in, can you? I'm sorry; I forgot to add that in.
I think, if this all goes 'well,' I'm going to put them up for adoption, but at the same time just thinking about that makes me want to break down.
I guess so. Like I said, it's a real bad situation; He wants me to have this child, moreso so he can 'save' it I think. He's got this savior complex… I used to have a drug problem and similar issues, along with my mental health, and he's gone on and on during arguments about how "I want to raise the kid right so they don't have to visit their mom in the cemetery," "Junkie mothers are a dime a dozen," "I want to take care of it so nobody has to see a news article about a mom trading her child for drugs," "I'm surprised you haven't battered your stomach with hammers (referring to my bad self harm mostly,) or hopped on more dick for booze."
I'm not even sure if this is the right place to talk about it. I ended up going off a different tangent here, sorry.
Anon, you need to think long and hard about this because this will dictate your future. You say HE want to be a father but that doesn't necessarily mean that he's ready or won't change his mind about this. Some men will invariably step up and take on the responsibility but that's not a guarantee. You need to be 100 percent prepared to do this yourself because ultimately, the last person to have the sign off on having this baby is YOU and you will be the primary care giver.
If you are not ready for this commitment, the whole idea that your life is now secondary to this baby's and you'll have to do whatever it take to make sure they're safe and secure then…this isn't for you. And you need to find a councilor and see your options for late term abortion. I don't know where you are in the world but where I'm from in Europe, you still have a window to abort safely. Unsure about America.
This isn't an easy choice for someone to advise on. You need to weigh what your future is going to be and this is going to take some actual soul searching.
If you don't have the heart to abort it, maybe you can go online and find a family in the area that's willing to adopt the baby as soon as it's born?
Just putting it up for adoption isn't very good considering how foster homes can get, but if you manage to find a family that wants to adopt the baby, you can give it a better life and you might actually get to watch it grow up (if that's what you want)
Also, get in birth control.
So what are your feelings about this guy? Do you love him, or know much about him or is he truly just a random guy? I don't blame you for sleeping with him if it was a result of your mental problems but he doesn't sound like the type of guy you'll bring home to your mom and dad. If both of you are unable to come to an agreement about abortion I would suggest try to find a family memeber or a really close friend of the family if they can adopt the baby. You'd be able to be around the child more if you wish. Unless he can mature and raise the baby with you and you accept to have this baby with him. Not suggesting marrying this guy or the real father if you ever find out who it is and isn't him but maybe try to date him and judge for yourself on whether to keep it or give it away because both parents are vital for a baby's survival and development.
If you can't find a way then abortion is the best thing to do before it's too late.
You forgot to mention you've been drinking, and that the guy literally makes a point on not being in love with you because he has an anime waifu.
I really hope you take the advice here and go to planned parenthood or find people who want to adopt.
I think that's what I might do.. my family on my mother's side are very big on adoption, having raised many kids, IIRC in similar istuations to my own.>>59184
That's the problem as well.
I wouldn't call him so much of a random guy, moreso someone I had been hanging out with for a while, just a friend, I guess? He has feelings for me, I think, despite showing them in a … borderline verbally abusive way. It's just really complicated. Like I said, it's mostly fault on my part, I was the one who initiated it despite being a bit drunk, etc etc.
I'm going into the hospital (psych, along with health of the baby and whatnot,) for a few weeks, I'll look more into planned parenthood until I get out and then decide where to go from there.
Sorry again, I feel like I turned this whole thread about me. You guys can go back to your usual talk.>>59188
Please stop stalking me and making up lies. I've had substance abuse problems in the past but I'm doing all I can and trying to tackle dozens of brain problems and disorders.
Your story is literally my worst nightmare. Please don't have the baby with this guy who you describe as "borderline abusive". Also, if you're going to a psych ward certain medications can also interfere with a babies' growth in the womb.
Please just take the abortion pill and sort your shit out before you attempt to have a child.
There are lots of agencies in the US that let you pick a family. Healthy newborns have more demand than supply.
Birth control is also good. IUDs are very effective, if you have had poor luck with the pill.>>59194
If you're having issues where you cannot "sort your shit out" before seeking mental health care, be sure to let any medical professionals know your situation.
>>59191>Please stop stalking me
I'm just browsing as I always do, I wasn't expecting to see you post or anything.
>and making up lies.
Maybe you're not alcoholic but considering some things you've said you can't blame anyone for thinking you are. Sorry for saying that.
In any case I think you did well coming here for advice since everyone is actually sensible, please don't let that guy decide what you should do.
Thank you. Now that I'm 18 (19 this year) I know I need to start the pill – My mother wouldn't let me before I could make my own med decisions, said they'd mess with my hormones too much.
I'm going into the hospital tomorrow, and they're already aware of it and whatnot.>>59201
Sorry for the accusation. I get very paranoid about these things because I already have people stalking all my social media and even my MPA account.
I'm bordering on alcoholic, but I'm really, really trying to stop for the baby's sake.
Anon, I'm in the process of adopting and listen to the others- you can find great families desperate for a newborn. We've waited years and plan to share pictures and have worked out a deal so the mom can be involved still. You can have it all and stay sane.
For the sake of other families that want a baby so badly, if you really refuse to abort, then please consider private adoption.
haven't even read all of the posts relating to you, but for fucks sake GET AN ABORTION. literally nothing
about you sounds fit to bring a child into this world. not.thin.g. whatsoever. jfc.
I've been taking psych meds for a while.
But you're right.
I'm sorry again for turning this all about me and whining when I should've gotten an abortion months ago.
Wow you should have aborted. Even if it gets good adoptive parents you've already hurt it's development.
Why the fuck did you prioritise some douchebags temper over potentiometer FAS or other mutations/disorders?
Go get your tubes tied at least jfc.
I'm really not experienced with any of this, it was all a huge mistake; I'm only eighteen and I've been working as a sexworker, along with as I said, mental illness and trauma/abuse stuff.
I know better now and I hope at least this will teach me a lesson.
I really do hope you get the right help. And if you ever actually want to be a mother when you have everything settled amd sorted you'll hopefully have a good and caring husband or boyfriend to help you bring one into the world, not this douchebag who only thinks of himself.
But for your and the child's sake please think of having it aborted.
Hey if cam shows bring in some money and validate you, why not?
For real though consider therapy and make the tools your therapist gives you a part of your daily life.
Get an abortion. Get an abortion NOW. Stop waiting. Go now. Now. NOW. If you need cash, go to one of the Feminism blogs on Tumblr and have them send out a call for donations for you.
As a child who was adopted– Your child is NOT going to be wanted. There are literally THOUSANDS of children suffering in foster care already, who will NEVER get a home. Adopted children have a higher rate of PTSD and suicide than war veterans. You're not doing anyone any favors. You have admitted you have mental issues, and have been using, though you're TRYING to get clean. And while I applaud you for that, adoptive parents are SUPER choosy about the kids they bring into their family. Don't let people like >>59205
guilt you into doing a Newborn adoption. These are people who, if they really cared, could adopt and care and love and nurture one of the LITERALLY THOUSANDS of children in America alone that are already languishing in the foster care system. They're selfish. They're desperate for a new born because they're "easier" and don't have a lot of the trauma issues that a foster care adoption brings. Your kid, coming from a mother with mental issues, is NOT going to be one that these so-called 'desperate' families want.
There are also various groups that fund abortions in each state. For example, Texas has the Lilith Fund. Please don't doom a child to the effects of your drinking and mental problems.
Oh please. This guy sounds like a classic abuser, and you want her to 'talk it over' with him?
Even if he wasn't (he is), how HE feels about this isn't the issue. Don't encourage her to put the abortion off any longer. She needs to get that scheduled NOW. Not wait a few days to talk to him, then.. wait a few days to get an appointment at the doctors… No. Fuck. That. Get your ass to the doctors.
If you're REALLY concerned about him (don't be. He sounds like abusive trash), just tell him you had a miscarriage. He's not going to know.
Depending on the state abortions might be covered under health insurance.http://www.obamacareabortion.com
But I'm assuming OP doesn't have health insurance since she's 18 and not working.
Also I'm >>59169
who initially suggested private adoption because OP seemed really hesitant about abortion and regular foster homes aren't good at all.
Thank you, once again, I would quote everyone but I'm too lazy and I wanna keep this rather short; I'm currently in an ED clinic, I'm trying to talk it over with them if I should go through with the abortion while I'm here, but it may cause too much stress, it's really complicated, along with me not being sure what to do with all this.. I'm really, really glad that you're all urging me to do the right thing without being outright cruel (I have a history of basically getting 'fuck off junkie whore kys') from some very unsavory people. I promise you all that I'll do what's right..>>59366
He has his own problems, but he's said some outright awful things to me.. but I guess it may've been the heat of the moment, we had been arguing but he used my problems against me in a means to hurt my feelings, but that being said, I said some things I didn't exactly mean, but, yeah.>>59379
I appreciate it..
I'm hesitant to call him abusive because he's helped me so much during this, he's not terrible, it's just not a good fit – neither of us are really fit to be a parent, it really was a mistake.
Fight on girl. I hope abortion will be doable, it seems like the easiest way out.
Thanks for updating.
>>59407>SO IS REPRODUCTIVE ABUSE, where a partner forces, or otherwise controls their partner's ability to be pregnant or not.
I'm glad you pointed that out. After looking into it, it sounds like reproductive coercion. >>59394
I hope you are able to resolve this in a way that is best for you. It sounds like the people at the ED clinic are supportive, and it is good that you are talking to them about your situation.
I hope everything goes well for you anon. You're young and in a rough place… I don't think having a child right now would be fair to either of you so don't feel guilty about whatever you choose to do.
Wish you the best anon <3
>>59851>Does it ever stop?
Yes, of course. You just gotta chill through.
Re: disappointment, let down, etc.
No reason to feel that way. Don't mistake your family's love for your family's expectations. They don't care about you fulfilling them, they just want you to be happy.
Source: I'm 36, childless, never wanted kids, have a close-knit relationship with my family
You need to be confident in standing up for your life choices. A good compromise, considering you're only 20 is saying something like "I'm only 20 and in this economy i can't consider having kids until I'm financially secure which might not happen until I'm 30." Because it IS possible you might change your mind by then (i keep adoption open as an option in my case because I don't want kids, and i'm 26 so it's pretty much a given that i won't give birth at this rate).
But ultimately don't let your family make you feel like a disappointment. If you haven't even been open about your wishes you should really consider being more outspoken. I had to be a bitch to my mom before she finally came to terms with the fact that my older brother (who's 30 and can't even hold down a job, let alone a relationship. he still mooches off my mom and grandpa) is her only hope for being a grandma.
you just gotta be consistent with it and eventually they'll shut up even if they hold onto the hope.
female partners have the option of a sperm bank, you know that right? it's one of the major reasons those things exist. unless you don't wanna do that, but just saying, being with a woman doesn't mean you have to resign to either never having kids, or ditching her for a male.
>I'm not even 20 yet and people are already asking me at family gatherings if I have a boyfriend or if I'm going to give them babies soon. I feel like such a let down every time I say no
lmao, really? first of all your family's kinda screwed up if they're asking a teen when she's going to have babies. and second, you're kinda are too if you "feel bad" for telling them no at your age. like come the fuck on.
You don't need anonymous posters to "approve" that these messy chat logs are abusive enough to justify an abortion.
You don't need to prove anything to anyone, just get out of there and save your own life.If you're unhappy, it's bad, if you're not ready to have a kid then make sure you abort asap, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
However, I do think you need to get away from the unhealthy side of the internet, it's well proven that using places like 4chan when you're depressed and you're clearly meeting awful people through it.
If there's something specific you want to share with us for advice on, you could always tl;dr it because these are long and unclear, but you don't need anons to pass judgment on your chat logs to know that what you feel about them is allowed.
Just fucking get an abortion. If that thing doesn't come out damaged from all the drugs / drinking you'll surely fuck it up with how you are as a person. If it's adopted out IF
it will be prone to mental illness from you and your shitty fucking boyfriend.
I'm not saying this to be mean, or that you won't ever have a baby. But right now is not a great time. This guy is not the right guy. Just wait a few years, sort your shit out, find someone new who is a good person then you can think of having children.
Plant a tree for baby.
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Anon it's been close to two weeks since you initially posted.
I'm completely new to this thread, but considering you were "months" into your pregnancy as over a week ago >>59213
, I'm guessing you are awfully close if not past the cutoff time to be ordinarily approved for a D&E abortion.
The easiest option (the pill abortion) is completely off the table at this point, and as someone who has experienced a late D&E, you are in for a world of shit. BUT it would be ten times better compared to the alternative of you going through the process of carrying that pregnancy to term and birthing.
There is no reason why you couldn't go to your welfare office and be approved for an emergency abortion. You fit the criteria: mentally depressed/suicidal, taking medications that could affect the development of the fetus, high risk due to alcoholism and ED, etc.
You don't have to beg for money or get insurance if you live in a blue state.
I'm not pointing these things out to be cruel or insinuate you could never be a good parent in the future, but if ever justification for an abortion did exist, these are it!
Don't let a John–a self-righteous one at that–dictate the rest of your life. These men don't care about you, if they did, they'd make a show of commitment and NOT throw verbal abuse at you. They don't mind if you have their child because they do none of the work and get to have their seed passed on.
Abortion? Gossip? All that you can leave behind and put in your past! Nobody will care in a matter of years, if not months.
A baby? That's for life.
A late miscarriage? Mental trauma.
Adoption, if you're lucky? Regret.
Stop punishing yourself because you think you're unworthy just because you have a mental condition, drink and do sex work.
None of that fucking matters.
You can start over if you have an abortion.
Allow your mind to reset and heal.
Then tackle your problems a step at a time.
It was a surgical abortion and I don't have nausea or other symptoms that I had when pregnant… plus the ultrasound confirmed it was all gone.
I'm paranoid now I'll buy a test tomorrow ;—;
Could just be the shot anon.
I was on that shit from 15-17 (parents were controlling and didn't want to talk to me about sex), and it did some fucked up shit to me then same as you.
You're ok. It's just the hormones acting up.
It's a huge stress on the body - suddenly oh, baby, secrete that, do that; suddenly again oh, no baby, scratch that, secrete this, do this
It's all gonna calm down, chill
if you're worried that's why you shouldn't be worried. you're not gonna let that stuff happen if you teach her better. don't teach her to be afraid, teach her to be strong. don't be afraid to teach her about sex even as a small child. obviously rape is different, but the main reason children get molested and are allowed to is because so many parents shy away from teaching them what it is.
you're already going to do better than most because you're concerned about it, but there's a way to teach fear and a way to teach strength, just make sure to keep that in mind.
the world is terrifying but it's really really beautiful too.
1. teach her from a very young age what parts of her body no one is allowed to touch or look at. I have seen documentaries of even little boys who were taught this, and it has stopped predators before they act because they know this means the child will tell.
2. ideally, do not partner with any male that is not her bio dad. I don't remember the exact statistics but the potential for sexual abuse is very high with "mommy's new boyfriend".
3. Do not leave her alone with a male that is not someone super trusted, like her bio dad. A distant elderly relative who was very sweet and funny and was left a widow used to take my mom and I to therapy and used to use the few minutes she was taking her turn to "caress" my thigh. So I would honestly be weary of leaving her alone in the presence of any
adult male, no matter how low risk you think they are.
4. Do not let her walk do things like walk home from school by herself, or other things that could risk a car slowing down next to her while she's alone.
5. when she's a teen, watch documentaries or something with her about pedophiles, domestic abuse, kidnapping etc. This will instill both knowledge and fear. Avoid her being too trusting or naive.
This so much, the best thing you can do is give her all the information as soon as you can and surround her with positive role models (and books that she can consult privately when she can read!).
This might be too lefty liberal for you but also saying that she doesn't have to give hugs and kisses to anyone even you, unless she wants to is important. It hurts when they won't hug you, it really does, but it's better than instilling the idea that a good girl has to accept kisses and hugs from the whole range of extended family. This one is important to me because my mother was open to me about everything, except as a teenager I still fell for the "if you love me you would do x for me" bullshit from a boy. You can't protect kids from everything, but you can give them all the tools you wish you had.>>60160
I would agree with point 1 and some of the others, but 4 is too much. If you restrict any kid too much, they go out looking for trouble and don't know how to respond when they find it. Cautious is good, but over-protected just makes them more of a target.
There's no way to tell unless you go to a doctor. A lot of women assume they are infertile for similar reasons and then have a baby.
It is odd that you have never had a scare, but if you've been diligent in pulling out it could happen. Do you WANT to have a baby?
i was on medication for my depression and stuff on the back half of my first pregnancy and all throughout my second. my children years later are developmentally and physically sound.
i agree with anon. self awareness and wanting to try is key and while its the easiest route to be discouraged, keeping faith and making an effort towards doing your best makes a difference. there is a lot of hate about taking meds while pregnant, but your health is imperative as well as the fetus. you can do it.
i struggled with postpartum psychosis which is scary, but anticipating it and treating asap made all the difference. mood disorders do not determine if youre going to be a bad parent. keep your chin up anon, parenthood is a beautiful thing and if/when youre ready, there is a love and happiness that, imo, comes from guiding a little mini you that is truly fulfilling.
Thanks anons, means a lot. It's always good getting insight from others who've experienced severe depression as well. I always worried andout the during and post partum depression, because of things get worse than they are now hoo boy that's a whole bother shit fest.
Here's hoping though!!
Most young mums are unprepared and have accidental babies. You're not suddenly ancient and doomed to get fucked up by pregnancy because you're five years older jfc.
Go outside, have a relationship, explore things like sex and fun before telling yourself you'd be happier having gotten pregnant at 19 and sacrificing half your youth to raise them. You sound so naive that I'm sort of concerned for you. How is it wasting youth to not have a baby immediately after adolescence?
same. except i don't have a boyfriend.
i'm pretty crazy though, i like chatting in baby forums, looking at baby names, watching pregnancy vlogs and thinking about things like what to pack in a kindergartener's lunchbox. I know i can't be the only one, but baby fever decided to hit me with a thousand pound piano. I'm glad i'm sensible enough to keep it in my fantasies though, because i'm in no position to have one anytime soon :(
surprisingly hearing that friends and past classmates have kids actually makes me glad I don't have any yet, because most are still too young to be financially well off on their own. One girl I used to be friends with who is only days younger than me has 3 kids. Lol all of my life plans would be over if I had 3 kids right now.
Yeah, you really need to go private for a lot of shit
Cancer patients are left waiting 1+ years to get seen to by anyone, including obgyns here.
It's a disgrace.
then private costs hundreds or thousands for anything unless you have a medical card to cover some of the costs. If not; you're fucked.
My fiance legitimately wants like 15 kids (I don't want that many) but holy fuck is it hard just trying to conceive one
I think I have PCOS making everything worse, but I'm trying supplements and will consider pre-seed (holy cow is that expensive at £25 in store should you be lucky enough to find the blasted stuff!
I know ti's not a miracle worker, but it's better than nothing
I just wonder how much truth there is behind the "just don't think about it" attitude?
If you're poor why do you want to get pregnant?
And no, I don't know what any of that is. Most people don't need that snake oil shit to get pregnant.
As in I can't buy the stuff online so I need to find something in a physical store I can walk into, money is fine that way I just don't use credit cards.
We both want a child, he's just too big to fit without lube and I saw most lubes are shit for sperm, I wanted something to be of ease that didn't kill more sperm than nature does already
Your money situation is sketchy. If you were well off, you should be able to buy shit online
>he's just too big to fit without lube
Wow. Are you joking? So many couples have this problem but do you know what they do? They build and work up to it until he can fit. If that doesn't work for you, which I doubt you've it tried because you seem borderline retarded, then y'all just ain't meant to be together plain and simple.
Please don't procreate. You're just so lost and retarded and confused and have a deluded concept of sex and finances. Sorry.
I ain't buying a credit card just to get some preseed.
And contrary to some couples, with lube he eventually fits in but it's uncomfortable at the entrance because my man is the biggest I've been with. It kills the mood trying to fit that shit in for 40+ minutes without lube, and it's downright painful after awhile of trying. I can't help my damn anatomy.
>>64324>Do you even know how much kids cost?
People like this go on welfare though, or find religious communities to leech from. So no, they don't have to worry as much about the costs because nobody is going to deny a baby who didn't ask to be born shelter, food, healthcare, or education.
Sad, but true.
Anyway>can't purchase things online>can't use a credit card>thinks you "buy" a credit card
Anon sounds underage.
i can afford the shit in real life. Hence I'm looking for a place IRL to get it. I ain't a virtual ATM, I work in cold hard cash in the real world. That's what I'm on about being poorfag, I ain't got virtual creds.
>buying credit cards
entering a 12 month minimum contract for a one time purchase? I ain't about that
Bullshit, child. Maybe not as much money as they demand, but they get help nonetheless. I've seen way too many lazy, unemployed whores pop out kids and have everything handed to them. Bonus points if they suddenly pretend they love religion to get freebies and free childcare. >>64446
Don't breed. You sound like ghetto trash.
Thanks for that Kek, anon, I really needed it today.
My bf is a few years older and is starting to press me about kids. His mom is pressuring him, a lot of his friends have them.
I don't think I want any. I have severe depression and am so fucking afraid of pregnancy and post partum. We talked a lot about not wanting any early on but I think he's pulling a 180. He's talking about it almost daily and when I point it out, he tells me it's to make me cringe. I'm not sure I'm buying it. He asks me what kids name I would like and stuff.
What do? I love him, we've been together for year. It's really eating at me and the anxiety it's generating keeps me up at night. I already feel worthless and I think too much internet has been making it worse. I feel like I'll never be good at anything and that having a kid is the only way to legitimate not having killed myself yet. I hate this.
A year is not enough to know someone well enough to have a child with them. When you have a child with someone you're tied to them forever, even if you don't stay in a relationship with them, you have to deal with either joint custody and/or child support payments, for the next eighteen years. It's always easy for men to want children, they don't have to deal with pregnancy post partum depression and will never have to deal with the majority of childrearing. No matter how much a man wants a child, he will never put in as much effort as the mother does no matter what he says.
Anon, you are not mentally healthy. You need to get involved in some kind of therapy, and reduce your internet time, or at the very least don't visit websites like this because they can exacerbate your mental illness, depression, and suicidal thoughts. You have so much value, that goes beyond being a mother or a girlfriend. You don't need him and you don't need to have a child if you don't want too.
White people (and some East Asians like the Japanese) are on a demographic decline that, if continued, will lead to the destruction of their countries and near-extinction of their race.
- Women are going to college (feminist/liberal indoctrination camp) and entering the workforce rather than getting married and having kids. If they ever have kids it's usually when they're over 30 years old (serious risk of kid being retarded), and they only have 1 or 2 kids, they might not even live to see their grandchildren if their kids have kids.
- Divorce courts are extremely biased in favor of women, and women are rewarded for divorce. We have over 50% divorce rate, and no-fault divorces allow women to divorce for whenever they want. Even if the woman cheats and causes the divorce, a man could lose his wife, children, house, and financial security all at the time, and his wife could do this ANYTIME she wants for any reason. Men are very scared of getting married or having children now because of this.
- Economy. A very large portion of men don't make enough money to be seen as acceptable partners in the eyes of women, so women won't have kids with them.
- Women are ruined in general, their minds are poisoned by feminism, they become extremely arrogant and entitled, they slut it up, emulate nigger/hip-hop culture, ride the cock carousel, get tattoos and piercings, they're stuck permanently as children rebelling against daddy. Many men don't want to put in the effort for THAT. This along with many other issues makes a lot of men just give up, and instead play video games and watch porn, or fuck prostitutes or random sluts from clubs/Tindr, what's the point of them even trying?Tick tock roasties, by 30 guys already don't want to have kids with you. I'll enjoy seeing you die alone with no family in a nursing facility, that is if there's even enough young people to pay taxes for your healthcare.
>>64555>will lead to the destruction of their countries and near-extinction of their race
I owe literally nothing to strangers who happen to share the same skin color as me, and refuse to be a human incubator just to satisfy some sick pervert's worldview that race is something we have to worry about.
If you care so much, then by all means encourage young white trash to get knocked up, remain in poverty, and btw–no welfare for them–since we have to start telling people to pull themselves up by their bootstraps to save the shitty first world capitalist economy by denying poor whites their food stamps.
Stupid ass permavirgin robot stanklord.
Tick tock, you still tfw no gf :'((
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>>64555>not earning and investing enough in 40+ years to be able to not depend on big government
lol, low achiever detected
Nobody will blink an eye when you die.
I hope you enjoy living in Mexico/Africa, or better yet, an Islamic caliphate.
Your feminist views will backfire on you, and I hope I will be there to see it. I will love seeing feminists die alone in a cold facility, again IF there is even enough young people to pay for your healthcare, or even provide the healthcare for such a massive aging population compared to what will be such a small young population.
>by all means encourage young white trash to get knocked up
I am trying.>>64559
My 5+ children and several grand children will.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
Five kids that you're not currently taking care of as you continue shitposting on the internet to people who don't give a shit. When you could be acting a parent to them.
This is truly nu white culture, I'm ashamed to share the same color as you.(don't take the bait)
How do I know you're an red-pill incel? Let me count the ways.
>muh White people and special Asians>liberal arts degrees>no kids after 30>the phrase "cock carousel">all women have daddy issues>men are better off MGTOW>uses "roasties">the wall is something that suddenly happens the moment you turn 30>etc.
And I don't even disagree with you. Just try harder next time to not be so obvious.
I've seen him tons of times? We've been dating for three years before our wedding? I never once said he was a virtual stranger, but maybe I should have specified more.
We've visited each other AT LEAST 8 times each, just haven't been able to in the past 6 months.
(my bad, should have specified.)
Honestly… I always think it's a bad idea to get married if you've never lived with the other person. It's completely different and will change your relationship.
About getting pregnant: nothing wrong with being pregnant while you get married BUT I don't think it's wise to jump from a LDR to getting a baby. See if you both work out when moving together (my friends were dating for 7 years and broke up when they moved in with one another because it didn't work out).
Get used to your new everyday life, especially if it's in a new country. You will need new doctors, get accustomed etc. You won't have your family and friends around you and it'll be tough, with or without your partner.
We've lived with each other for short spans of time (I lived with him for six months until I had to return home per passport rules) but I still get what you're saying. It'll be weird not going to the same doctor I've had since I was a baby and not having my mom there fawning over her first grandkid.
Like I said though, I totally get what you're saying–the baby fever might have to wait for a bit.
Congratulations! Wishing you all the best!>>64788
It's fine. It's not as if the people close to you will think you got marries because you got pregnant. Just get pregnant after you send out save the dates, if that sort of thing matters to you. That said, immigration/visas can be tricky. If it's important to you that you live together when the baby is born, wait.
thankfully he's canadian and i'm american so it isn't terribly hard when it comes to the border and everything, but i know what you mean with immigration and visa. thank you though!!
congrats!! hoping you, your s/o, and your future lil bean the best of luck!
I recently got married and today is our 11 month wedding anniversary. I'm the anon above who just recently got pregnant (>>64637)
I'm very happy that we waited until we had lived together and been married for a while. People always say the first year of marriage is the hardest, and honestly I agree. It's not that things change that much per se, but it's the notion that you're in it together and you'll share all your days. You're no longer chasing the other and while you might have been together in a relationship for a while, there are some subtle changes when you get married. It can take a while before you get settled in your new place, find new friends etc, and having a baby or being pregnant can be pretty isolating.
That being said, you know your relationship better than we do, but I'd make sure I had a good, stable marriage before getting pregnant. Your marriage union is pretty much the basis of the family you're creating, so make sure it's a good one, you know? Also, just enjoy your time together as newlyweds.
Yeah, I can see what you mean. I think part of it is no longer taking my birth control for medical reasons and the fact that a lot of my friends are having kids also sends me into a "i want one of my own" mindset a lot quicker than it should. Plus, all of my relatives now have babies of their own so I feel like I'm straggling behind. I also really want one of my own–but if it's meant to happen, it'll happen, if not then it won't for a bit, no use worrying about it when I have other stuff to focus on first.
do i need to sage this for a blogpost?
that was 5 months ago, i don't think they're gonna respond.
anyway, do any of you guys have a plan for what age you're going to start TTC? I'm 23 and I don't want it to be later than 28+. i'm thinking I may start in about 3 years.
I remember that, except I didn't have the walk. Really sucks not being able to sleep in the position you want though. Also, the kicking and stretching really doesn't help. Savor it, though. You'll really be a sleep deprived wreck soon enough.>>69715
I took buspirone. Didn't seem to help much tbh.>>69716
Damn, anon. I mean, I guess it's only fair as far as equal treatment of the sexes goes, but that still really sucks. Drinking isn't the best way to deal with problems, but you probably already know that.
As a counter to >>69755
does anybody literally never get baby crazy? Does anybody else feel like they have no maternal instinct either? People always talk about after they hold and interact with other people's babies and then they start wanting one? That has never happened to me.
I don't really like kids at all and I have no idea how to communicate with them or make them happy/comfy, so these questions aren't even important because I've already decided it's best if I don't have any. I'm just curious if anyone else thinks there's such a thing as being meant to not have kids? I feel like a lot of women, even if they decide to not have kids for financial and other personal reasons, still have that maternal instinct. I feel like there has to be a reason why I don't.
If it’s any consolation a lot of women don’t get that maternal urge and some of them who end up parents despite that turn out perfectly good mothers.
I get baby urges so badly but I think a lot of it is over exaggerated or just expected of all girls even though it’s not some law of ovary-ownership
I do think there is such a thing as being not meant to have kids, but IMO some of that demographic is to do with personality as well, not just a lack of maternal urges. Like there’s loads of people who wanted and have had kids who definitely shouldn’t have had them.
However other anon is right, I think people just expect that girls will be maternal so when they’re not it feels like !!big shocker!!
Omg anon I feel this so hard
Almost five years with my bf, I’m 25 and he’s 29. If we had the money we’d already be married and have a kid because we know that’s what we want but money is tight and housing is impossibly expensive.
Rationally I know it’s a bad time but there’s no telling that to my hormonal brain. It wants babies right now. So sick of turning to cooing mush over friends babies
im the same way.
ive had two kids already but leading up to them being born even with proper prenatal care and stuff i was still super fucking paranoid.
but im a depressed piece of shit. im still scared theyre going to end up like i am now. maybe they didnt end up retarded, but there is a chance theyll want to kill themselves on the reg
long blogpostin sorry.
my first pregnancy was a fucking mess. no meds and after my c-section, i wanted to breatfeed so i fought through the post-partum depression to the point that i was ready to kill my baby because in some psychotic way, i felt like everything would magically be rainbows. but got on meds and therapy and worked through it.
so when i got pregnant the second time, i made sure to stay on a couple meds that were decently safe during pregnancy and made a plan with my psychiatrist as far as how dosage and stuff would change after birth. so overall working through pregnancy while addressing the depression and having a plan for afterwards helped
but as far as raising them, i cant sit here and tell you that just because i have some pills it was 10/10 no biggie. but i find that as they grow older, mistakes do happen. people have told me that from the start and i would brush it off, kind of like how people are like lol goodbye sleep. ok yea i get it. but really. there will be times where youll reflect on something you said or something you should have done and it wont feel good.
it sounds selfish, and i know that it is depression and shit just sucking energy and passion out of me, but there are days that i have to remind myself to make sure i spend some quality time with my kids. not just feed them, make sure homework is done, but nice non-routine stuff. even simple things like letting them pick dinner and if its dessert for dinner, sure. pick the movie, play a shit ton of board games, paint dads toenails while he naps.
when they were babies and toddlers, it really can be as simple as just sitting and singing with them.. sing with them while doing laundry or dishes. if i couldnt concentrate on getting shit cleaned up it was a cute reminder to have my kid tug on my shirt and sing a certain song and wed go through and pick up clothes or toys. ngl sort of irked the shit out of me some days cus all id want to do was wallow in how unfair depression is and how tired i was but i have these little people who look up to me for a kind word or touch. always remember, children love affection. hugs, holding hands crossing the road, a comforting backrub at nap time or during a cold, they all matter no matter how small it may seem to us. i give my kids random high fives and tell them how cool i think they are just because meanwhile inside i feel like a rotting slug
try and be easy on yourself. it sounds cliche but i have honestly never heard of a mother going into having kids thinking they got it 100% anxiety about parenting is normal, unfortunate, but if you have people around you who can help with baby when its time, absolutely use that. get a shower, watch a movie, just have a day to sleep away. those days make a difference
I'm same anon as >>79391
For me, when I lost my mucus plug and went into labor, the contractions weren't hard to handle at all. I lasted to 8cm before chickening out and asking for the epidural. My hospital also had wireless monitors I requested to use because walking around my room helped the pain and helped my cervix dilate faster.
Surrogates exist. So do sperm banks, and adoption agencies. Jesus Christ, if you're a WLW but you want kids, don't expect us to do the bare minimum and Google for
I think anon was just thinking aloud and not looking for solutions.
As a side note, not all women (especially radfem) consider surrogacy ethical, so this might not be an option for anon.
Nta but lmao, get over yourself. You're talking about "big girl pants" and yet you don't seem to understand that "big grown up" relationships can have compromises like this.
I hate when people come in and say shit like "if it were me, I'd do this!" as if it somehow makes them a better person to self-fellate over how different they are than someone else.
Ok have fun cleaning up after a child and
a man-baby, then. Compromises are different than a grown adult (responsible for a child) having a panic attack over some vomit.
yes. idk what other anon is talking about. it's a muscle
anon, so in fact it gets a bit tighter rather than loose. the myth that it gets loose is just some dumb meme perpetuated by idiot men.
I’m exactly the same anon. Newborn to like1.5yr is my utmost favorite time. I have severe abandonment issues so another living person needing and wanting me that much is so uplifting. No matter how you look smell, what your mood is (as long as you’re not negligent or abusive) they look at you looks no one else ever will. You are LITERALLY their whole world.
That being said, you don’t lose interest or love. It just changes. It becomes wonderful in whole new ways. Watching your child take on your best attributes and then developing their own is wonderous.
TLDR: I have a 11 month old and 10 yr old and it only gets better
Too many variables to guess.
Some babies latch easily, some can’t. Some women produce milk well, some don’t. It’s just a case of try and see.
I think the most important is to give yourself time. The first month is often really hard, and that's when a lot of women give up. As long as the baby don't lose weight, you should try for 6 weeks (if you want to BF) and then see if it's still hard.
For me, it was really painful the first week. The second day was the absolute worst. But it was a great experience past 5 weeks. I didn't gave up because the only thing in my mind was "you're too tired to take any big decision, wait a few weeks and stick to the plan".
Is he the sole parent? Anything for the baby.
Is he partially involved? Stuff to make visitation easier like cash for a car seat, pram, high chair, or cot, or again, general baby shit.
Socks, hats, bottle nipples, burp cloths, bibs, blankets, nappies, little bath tub, baby nail clippers and ear cleaners,a nice keepsake box, freezeable homecooked meals for him. Heaps of stuff really.
Asides from baby stuff like >>98895
said, I think it'd be nice to get him a little treat for himself too, like a nice bottle of liquor, or some other consumable/food thing if he doesn't drink.
Former mil-spouse, here. Wayyy easier said than done. It’s part of the military culture to be a young stay-at-home mom with either infants or multiple young children. Anything that has to do with military is literally revolving around mothers, families, and kids. There’s a lot of pressure on couples to procreate because “Tricare covers it. If you can’t afford food, just have the kid anyway and get on WIC and beg for cheap things and handouts in the yard sale groups.”>>98741
I completely empathize, anon.
There are groups you can join on Facebook that have fellow childfree households. It is also healthier to just make civilian friends outside of the military world. If you live on base, it often isolatss you from the normal civilian life and tends to take a toll on your emotional health. It really sucks.
Was meant to link to the anon who was saying they don’t know how to meet non military wives. They
Spoke as though they were surprised that there’s loads of families and as though they weren’t able to meet other people.
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Who here /infertile/?
>tfw saved our whole adult lives to have kids
>have house, investment property, $200k+ In liquid assets with 6 figure jobs
>turned 30 this year and realized I have stage 4 endometriosis
>single moms on welfare popping out 4 kids and I’m bitter as fuck old hag about it
How the fuck do I become degenerate child free couple? I hate traveling.
I posted about this situation in /ot/ before but I thought about posting it in this thread because it is relevant and I wanted to get a perspective to see if I’m crazy or am I surrounded by crazy people.
Basically, still live at home with parents. My friend lives with us too. Friend is kinda an autistic weeb but at least she means well, and I’ve known her awhile so I can trust her. Friend has a younger sister who is a vapid dumbass. Sister decided, while high on coke, to have a baby with her abusive boyfriend because she thought they would make a cute kid.
At the beginning of the month, she finally realizes that her baby daddy is a piece of shit and starts living at our house. Initially, it was supposed to be for two weeks or so. But now she’s gonna be here till Thanksgiving? She was supposed to go to Texas to be with her father but idk what’s going on with that.
In the meantime, she has taken over my room entirely (because I had the most space in my room) and hasn’t even bothered to say “thank you” to me for doing so. I have no personal space. Her baby cries a lot. Now, I do love kids and I hope to be a parent one day but I realize now is not the time for that. I don’t want to share a space with a baby. Period. I work and I’m going back to school in January. I just want peace and quiet when I’m home but I’m sure not going to get it with this bitch around (especially since I have a hunch that she’s gonna get back together with her baby daddy sooner or later).
Like am I being an asshole for not being okay with this set up? My mom acts like I’m this big child hater for not wanting to share a space with an infant. My aunt (who also lives with us) wanted the sister and baby to move in with us and I straight up told her that if she does, I’m fucking leaving. I feel like my mom and aunt’s baby fever is so big (plus my aunt’s giant savior complex) is so big, that they’re willing to defy common sense and the concern of their actual relative over some bitch who’s not even related to us. I know I sound dramatic when I say this, but it hurts. It really fucking hurts.
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I’ve watched all the infertility movies on Netflix and they always spend all their money and fail kek. I’m supposed to be making appointments for a lacroscopy but I’m too depressed and making it worse by wasting time.>>99170
How is childfree not the most degenerate shit ever?
Wow. Like I too am trying to get pregnant, but reading you badmouthing every woman who has decided against having children for her own reasons really makes me dislike you.
Like wtf, let people do whatever they feel is the right thing to do. They're not hurting anyone.
Some of the childfree crowd get a bit much with their terms like crotchfruit and mombies but calling them degenerate is a bit much.
Some of them are rude but not wanting kids on itself isn’t degenerate or anything similar. Better they freely choose to not have kids than have ones they resent.
The only reason people with kids get upset over other adults not having kids is because it's not acceptable to hate and regret your kids, even casually/"jokingly", so instead of wishing them away/groaning about how they should have kept their legs closed they have to shit on everyone who didn't
make that same mistake. It's like they resent you for not being as careless as they were, but they can't admit it so they have to act like it's everyone's shared responsibility to have kids. This way they get to watch others be as miserable as them.
I think it depends on the person and their genetics. My mom had me when she was 35 with one try lmao, and her mother had her at 39 accidentally.
Look into the fertility of the women in your family I'd say.
My ex's mom had her youngest daughter (she is now 9) when she was 39. My mom was born when her mother was around early to mid 40s. My male cousin who is in his early 40s had a daughter with his wife who is also the same age.
I think genetics are the things that matter; some people can conceive easily at a later age while others can't.
Go now! We're going to a place we've always wanted to go before we continue treatment. :)>>99298
It is not as bad as people here tend to put it, but usually declines steeply after 35. Look into your family history and ask your doctor. >>99279
We're interracial in a monoracial society, so not sure about adoption. Plus children put up for adoption are often still not in foster homes but orphanages, which can lead to all kind of shit. And I think surrogate pregnancy is illegal. So yeah.
Ugh, sorry about the double post. Hit Reply by accident.
I'm thinking either Japan or France. I've always wanted to see Paris even if the reality ends up disappointing me, haha. But I want to live out my weeaboo fantasy in Japan too.
Luckily my husband and I have already been talking about kids and he's for it. Basically we'll try to get at least one big trip out of the way and then start planning for a baby.
This article might put you at ease. The real drop off point is 40 onwards. But the majority of women aged 35-40 (around 80%) will be able to conceive naturally within a year of trying.
I understand the fears, I used to have them a lot myself after reading the rhetoric online but a lot of it is misguided or purposely false (to scare women into believing they can't wait) Also it's good to bear in mind men account for about half of infertility cases, so even though the blame is often put on women it's just as likely to be a problem with their partner.
I gave birth at 38 weeks. How it was, tw
: I had diarrhea at 8pm, at 11pm light contractions started, at 2am my bloody show began. It was like light period. I went to the hospital in the morning and they made my documents and shaved me down there. I was dilated about 1-2cm. At 2pm the real contractions started, at 4pm they were starting to be unbearable like I was in so much pain I had to scream and cry, it was exhausting. At around 8pm they put me on a gyno table. At this point I was screaming like crazy. The doctor broke my water and gave me an episiotomy after local anesthesia. They started saying I should push like when you poop and so I did. When the baby was out I finally had relief from the horrible contractions. But when they sew me I felt that ugh. I spent the night in that same room, I was bleeding a lot, which is normal. Also they gave me a bucket to pee in. It was stinging at first. Recovery was quick, it hurt to sit tho and from the uterus contracting back to it's original size.
I was induced. 1/10, would not recommend it. The pain was alright, but I had a bad reaction to the product they used (should have told them I can't take any hormonal contraceptive). I was cold, I threw up so many times and was feeling just bad. Didn't have any contractions (later they told me the cervix was opening because only the cervix responded to the product). Btw you can feel with your hands contractions, your belly just becomes super hard, shrinks a little and you can't feel the baby anymore. Plus it hurts, but it's not 100% pain at the begining. You begin with maybe 20% of the total pain you will feel and it gradually worsen till you are at 100%, and then it stops you can rest for a few minutes.
I tried to tell them I wasn't feeling right (already had "real" contractions before) but I was told "what did you think labor was like ?" and they left me alone. My husband arrived maybe 1 hour later (I was already at hospital). So I felt like shit until they though my cervix was opened enough and the labor really started and they removed the fking product. Then it was a great experience even with the pain. I finally had real contractions. Then I had epidural and could sleep when I didn't have any contractions (that means every 1m30 for 30second) because I was fucking tired even if the first phase only took 4 hours. My water didn't broke till the end (I asked them to not break it till last minute). It was easy to push for me. I had the lowest setting of epidural, so I could still feel a little pain and move my legs. It was easier to sync with the pain to push (idk how to explain it). Then I felt a hard thing smacking my pubis bone from the inside, my midwife pierced my waters and 2 push later baby was born. I was induced at 8 AM and baby was born at 5PM.
Then I had skin to skin time with the baby. It was wonderful till the next day/sometime in the night. I had super painful post partum contractions, that nobody told me about because they are usually light for first time moms. They hurt way more than labor but were shorter. I did tear but nothing much (didn't feel it at all during nor after and had one unnecessary stitch), recovery would have been perfect if I had not caught a staphylococcus in hospital.
I did not want to be induced, and should have listened to my gut feeling more. Hope it helps you !
Also induced, at 40+3. Went into hospital at 9am, had a hormone pessary thing inserted at 12pm, contractions started at 11pm and was removed by midnight because they were coming every 30 seconds within about 10 minutes and honestly I couldn't cope. Next day I went up to delivery suite, had an oxytocin drip fitted, then had my waters broken at 3pm. By 5pm I had gone from 2-4cm and I was losing it a bit because it was so painful. (Not to freak you out, my pain threshold is really poor and induced labour hurts loads more because it happens way faster than natural!) I had a non-opiate epidural and quickly I couldn't feel anything. Honestly I lay there covered by a blanket relaxing on my side until about 10pm, getting my epidural topped up every hour, then the midwife checked me and said I was fully dilated. Waited about an hour for the epidural to wear off so I could feel what I was doing again and then pushed! My head was so into getting my baby out then I genuinely don't remember feeling any pain, and after 45mins she was born. 2 minor labial tears, 1 needed stitches but again didn't feel it because so out of it. Contractions were started again via drip to get the placenta out, but that delivered quite quickly. Bled quite a lot but no haemorrhage or anything. Feeling your belly straight after is super weird, because it's still really big after but it's like soft and jelly-like?
Idk I hope that's helpful. Just ask if you have any questions!
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So here's one study that examines your likelihood of reaching your desired family size based on age and ivf use.https://academic.oup.com/humrep/article/30/9/2215/621769
The day I went into labor, (40 weeks exactly,) I felt light contractions all morning. A few hours after I lost my mucus plug, we went to the hospital where I asked for a wireless monitor because walking around the room helped tremendously with the pain and also helps you dilate quicker. When I was about 8cm, I got the epidural I asked for. It didn't take completely and I could actually still feel contractions and my legs somewhat, so the anesthesiologist gave me an extra shot of lidocaine. The pain from contractions wasn't bad at all before I got the epidural, but I was definitely scared of how it would feel when the baby came out, so that's why I opted for the drugs. I pushed and the doctor had to make a small incision because I wasn't stretching enough.
All in all, I was only in the hospital for 7 hours before my son popped out. After they laid him on my chest to breastfeed and bond, they took him to get washed up and a nurse wheelchaired me into a bathroom. She told me I had to pee or they'd catheter me for whatever reason. Then, I was wheeled into my actual room. I ended up staying in the hospital for 4 days, but only 2 days are mandatory where I live. I just happened to go in on a weekend. You'll be fine, OP. I was scared too until I realized that it'd be in the past, just a story one day, and I'd forget all about the pain. Of course, it wasn't that bad for me to begin with. I can think of worse that I've experienced.
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I just want to post somewhere. I just had my tubal ligation surgery recently and Im so excited!
No more anxiety and paranoia about getting accidentally pregnant
Also im young (23) and was so surprised when i didnt have any pushback from doctors
I was trying to find the bragging thread but couldn't find it. I saw some talk about CF up thread so I thought it wasnt extremely off topic.
I dont hate kids or mothers so I have no issues with the girls in this thread. I'm all for women having choices and I wish everyone the best. Whether they dream of a family or being childfree.
I don't think you were bragging anon, and I am the person who is pregnant and requested delivery stories just before you. I'm glad you didn't get a huge pushback like a ton of young women always do. I would like a similar procedure after this baby but they probably won't do it. I am happy for you!>>100026>>99997>>99996>>99995>>99986
Thank you so much for all your responses!! Tbh my biggest worries are a) needing to be induced and b) tearing/needing an episiotomy. Also shout out for "piss into a washcloth" because that is the candid advice that nobody tells you that I absolutely need to hear. Never even heard of post partum contractions either. You are all the best.
You have the right to refuse episiotomy. It heals way worse than a tear tbh, and 90% of the time is unnecessary. It's only conveniant for the medical staff. You can refuse unnecessary cevix checks too, that's how I got my super hospital infection (I'm >>99995
)and you can refuse to be induced. It's really hard, because they will most of the time pressure you but when you're under 35, except few really rare cases, you can exceed your due date for 1 or 2 weeks without any problem. And then be induced if the baby really won't come out. Plus they can get your due date wrong up to two weeks. Stress really delays labor too, so try to keep calm, do what you love, have plenty of sex 'cause you won't have any for at least two months and don't forget you can turn off you phone so you won't be harrassed by concerned family/friends. Don't let people (medical staff too) belittle you because it's your first. Advices are really useful so listen to them but you know your body best. You can do it ! The baby could came in so it will get out somehow !
About real advices, I'd say ask for a small basin when you have your baby and are in a hospital room. If your boobs hurts (they will) and get full of milk, you just fill the basin with hot water, put it on a table, bend over and soak your boob(s) in. Looks ridiculous but worked way better than a hot shower at least for me. There's something with the position that really helped plus thank god for hot water.
Mine told me to massage it with pressure for two hours. When they did it they put more pressure and it hurt ._.
Btw I recommend buying stool softener/laxative safe for breastfeeding, as stools may be difficult to pass, especially with tears or episiotomy
Love you anon. Its not only our first baby but I'm also what they'd consider young (they often mistake me for an accidental teen mom before realising I'm married and had 2 losses before this) and so they tend not to take me seriously. I have always had a hard time standing up to doctors etc so I genuinely screenshot your comment to remind myself. The thing is as soon as they bring the baby into it (e.g if they just said an episiotomy is better for the baby without any actual reasoning behind jt) I'd freak a bit and let them do whatever. For God's sake the last time I had a stay in there they KEPT trying to put an antibiotic I am allergic to into my IV because nobody was listening to me or checking my shit. They also got me, at like 25 weeks pregnant, mixed up with the other woman in the room who was going to get her tubes tied and tried to tell me I had to fast for the day. Theyre useless.
Also god yes to turning off phone to avoid everyone constantly asking where the baby is. I thankfully keep a very small circle and we only keep in touch with immediate family on my side and even that is a bit much sometimes. Turning off my phone to become unreachable will always be one of life's greatest pleasures tbh.
I will definitely take the boob advice also, I never understood how a shower should help much with that type of pain. I will basin the fuck out of my boobs.
Regarding this massage scenario honestly I welcome someone squishing everything down a bit, does it make you feel somewhat less bloated? Cause I can't wait to feel like I can move again. My mom also nearly died from pp haemorrhaging so I guess I'm automatically open to whatever they suggest to prevent that.
I guess I've decided to go with a tear rather than episiotomy, after reading about it and reading these comments. I absolutely know it's one or the other for me because the back part of my vag And the skin around it is ridiculously tight and is a problem even during sex sometimes.
I've been watching videos and I still can't get over how gigantic babies heads are. Big props to you anon moms who have done this because honestly like how. Babies are the epitome of big head energy
Tbh I hope this wasn't aimed at us above you because I do agree with you. Anyone sane won't try to refuse an induction if baby is in distress or if it passes 2 weeks, also I don't think anons were saying the fungal massage were mean, just that the name is a bit misleading when the procedure feels like you're being punched and they don't really tell you beforehand that it's a part of the process. (I sure didn't know)
I completely agree, a lot of women's attitudes towards it are so reckless. For many of them it's because they had a bad experience the first time which I'm sympathetic towards but Jesus the liberty some of them take with this process is insane. I can't imagine the people who refuse the necessary shots and medical care, it's just wildly irresponsible. You can't have a child with modern day life expectations and standards of health without the modern day procedures and precautions we took to get here ffs. There's a huge number of people into the whole empowered birth free birth home birth thing who take it completely into their own hands, and have breech babies, nuchal cord babies, posterior babies, at home vaginally against all recommendations. These people always talk about how they want ~my experience~ to be perfect, ~My birth~, always about them before you hear them mention the baby tbh. And a growing number of women refusing all medical assistance such as regular check ups and scans throughout– resulting in "surprise twins" or even women having anterior placenta without finding out which can fucking kill you both. Completely agree that too many of these crunchy nutcases don't take it seriously enough that this is an event that killed and still kills a lot of women. The same women tend to look down their nose at anyone who opts for ~unnatural pain relief~ or doesnt/can't breastfeed. A lot of these crunchy new age inspiring birth Instagram accounts post straight up dangerous info about this stuff too and encourage women to go ahead with it. A lot of OBs in the comments point out how irresponsible that is but more and more people are following the trend >>100137
Uh can you just come with me to have the baby please?? Lmao i would love to message you tbh. I'm afraid I'll take a look afterwards and all my stitches and also haemorrhoids will just fall out and I'll turn inside out.
Not at anyone here, insane women I know.
One seriously ranted about how the doctors removed the placenta after she couldn’t physically push it out, instead of letting it stay there til she was ready and it had started an infection.
Another says hospital births are a money making scheme despite living in a country with socialised healthcare. Women who outright try and refuse things like the fundal massage even after an explanation. It’s like they inexplicably think that their body became magical during pregnancy and can’t suffer injury or illness due to it being natural. Not even crystal waving hippies, just really ignorant and really contrarian because a Facebook image told them something that sounds nicer than medical fact.
Thats' ridiculous. What were they supposed to do ? Let the placenta in provoque a septis ? Does she knows the uterus retracts ?>>100153
Here you go !
Anyone who’s willing to put their comfort or their sense of self righteousness above the safety of their baby is unfit to be a mother, and yet here we are letting these women walk out of the hospital with the baby she’s already delegated into being an accessory to her ego.
The same women are often the ones driving a military assault vehicle, drinking a coffee on the way to get her hair dyed, but won’t give their teething baby some bonjela because it’s not natural.
Kid ends up with months of pain and an amber bead necklace while mum bitches about her kid and says ‘oh the terrible twos!’ As if she’s not a neglectful sow.
Your sister is a terrible person, and a terrible mother and she should not be allowed to make decisions for those children.
Vaccinate them against her wishes and report her for deliberate malnutrition. Hopefully she can’t have any more and the ones she has will go to some relative of yours who isn’t retarded.
Bet her diet doesn’t match her astrological sign and she eats whatever she wants. People like that use woo as a screen for being controlling freakish monsters. Sorry you’re related to it.
It's my husband's sister, so I'm not really itching to get involved as a technical outsider. If it were my own sister, I'd be bitching up a storm at her. She's apparently the "new sign" that they discovered a few years ago, "But that doesn't count, and I identify with my old sign more" I tried bringing up the homeopathy with my husband and my husband's brother, but they think that it's just her being quirky. I'll just try to be there for my nieces when they get older. I'm already planning on helping them with their college/work fund, so taking them to doctor visits and being there for support won't be too much farther down the line.
Saged for getting off-topic about relatives and pseudoscience. Sorry, just seeing other moms vent reminded me of it.
You’re ridiculously good for planning on helping them build futures. It must be awful to have to watch without being able to change it despite offering the facts. Comforting to know kids like that have relatives who will try for them.
Honestly organic mommies are the worst. There’s too many women getting pregnant and suddenly deciding they are more qualified than healthcare providers because ~muh maternal instinct~
Measles is a thing we have to worry about again in my area, plus whooping cough and shit. I get that mothers get shat on for that being their main role but the increase in mothers who think that birth made them some sort of demi-god is disturbing.
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Ophiucus is actually a constellation, not an astrological sign. Sage for zodiac sperg
Yay I will message you soon! >>100218
I don't know how you have the patience not to snap at your sister, anon. I wouldn't be able to handle that shit. >>100230
Ah nevermind. I see. Really lovely of you to be thinking of those kiddos and open to supporting them.
There's a huge community of these crunchy moms on Instagram of all places spreading real misinformation and conceited, damaging bullshit to look hippy and new age and woke and spiritual and cool. There is a famous instagrammer with 2 daughters who is like this and I was actually friends with her on Facebook until she started praising KVD for being a "smart lady" by her decision not to vaccinate. That was just too much for me to even hate-view her stuff. Also a huge concentration of Australian mothers in these kind of almost cults posting total bullshit and completely dismissing any criticism or you know, factual information.
Unfortunately lads none of us will be woke spiritual divine feminine motherwomyn because we won't put Amber necklaces on our children or breastfeed them until they are 14. I won't be able to brag about my all natural orgasmic birth in a tent where I practised sacred ululating, and my children won't be brought up on a raw vegan unschooled lifestyle. Poo.
Can’t belive I’ve been feeding kids protein and not letting ear infections run their course like an asshole. Constant pain is great for children’s mental health.
A family friends mother is huge in the Australian anti vaccination movement. She hosts goddamn conventions for them to pay each other’s asses over measles coming back with aggression. She literally believes in some massive profiteering conspiracy to give everyone autism and and collect payment for it and her adult son swears that people are after her in some Illuminati-esque government conspiracy way. You don’t pay for kids vaccinations here. That’s the real kicker.
Told the dude that the study it’s all based off was admitted as fraud and he didn’t want to hear it. There’s no helping folk like that.
The really bothersome part is that it’s a mother preying on other mothers to harm their children because they think their midwives and nurses are secretly really high paid and just malicious, not some of the most hardworking and underpaid people in the nation.
amber necklaces are so common, sister put them on her nephew just because she "heard from facebook that it works"
i understand that birth in some aspects has been overly medicalized and in some cases it is best to look into alternative birthing methods like birthing centers, midwives, water births, etc. but social media has made certain people more vulnerable and gullible than ever.
I was once casually discussing cosleeping with my uncle's wife – to me because we have prepared an actual co sleeper cot, personally I would never sleep with the baby in the bed at all with us. I didn't say that though, she kind of dove into the conversation by saying "cosleeping is great because your natural instinct won't let you roll onto the baby" and my jaw nearly hit the floor? How can you be so idealistic and irresponsible to believe that? As if plenty of babies haven't died from tragic situations being in the same bed as their parents. Huge yikes moment.
Also the main thing I don't get is why nobody wants to listen ever when you tell them that entire study was bullshit to the nth degree, like hahaha how the fuck do they even believe it at all>>100242
This is phrased really well. It's like the motherhood version of doing a juice cleanse or something – no idea what supposedly physically happens but I saw it on fb so it must be a thing! CleaNsiNg mY tOxiNs!! >>100243
Literally this. Your child would have to be on fucking fire, Stacey.
Facebook and Instagram shills have literally got them convinced that they become magical and instinctually perfect at motherhood because it’s more pleasant that finding out that parenting is hard and that babies require more planning and expertise than ‘cute I want one too’.
If someone is so easily misled that they can be fooled into hurting their child they should not be considered competent to have a child at all.
To be fair, pregnancy/motherhood have some instinctive parts. Sometime I just turn around for no reason because I feel something is wrong, and stop my 18mo from doing something dangerous. Same for pregnancy. Never happend to me, but I had a friend who felt her baby was in danger, got brushed off by her doctor went to the hospital anyway and a cesarian because the baby was suffering.
But I have no patience for parents who refuse to educate themselves. My mother was super proud to say "I've never took any class on birthing nor parenting !" when I was pregnant and tring to educate myself. And she was a terrible mom.
Lmao something my mom would say, when in fact grandma was the one doing all the work raising me. After raising her two daughters she's a super woman in my eyes. Now my mom is acting like I shouldn't have a kid before I'm 40 major eye roll
. Guess she should've taken this advice instead, because she didn't want her social life to end when I came in the picture and she was 26
Oh you’re totally right that there are some maternal instincts, and I’ve made a point to never ignore a mother who says ‘something is wrong with my baby’ because each time I’ve heard it, its been meningitis, a broken arm, or a bad virus that needed IV rehydration and electrolyte replacement, respectively.
I’ve just got no tolerance for ones who claim that their instincts are better than doctors or that the moon will help ease colic because nostradamus said so. Your mum sounds like an idiot who just wants to control your pregnancy/parenting.
My period is due next week.
Once in a blue moon my breasts become a little sore a day or two before my period, but now they're a whole different cup size.
I'm feeling sick all the time too, and I can feel very mild cramps nearly all the time.
Going to call in when the clinic opens in a few hours. I don't know how to tell my boyfriend.
Did one yesterday, but it came back negative.
I've read that it could be too early to tell (1 week until period).
I feel too different, I've never had symptoms like this before.
I really, really hope it's my period.
My nipples aren't any darker either, doesn't that usually happen?
Either way I've sent my form into the clinic.
I had a period that was late before, but I had to drink a ton of parsley tea to get it started.
Didn't have these symptoms though, I felt completely fine then with no changes.
I really hope you're right.
Even so, I'm waiting for the clinic to get back to me for an appointment.
If you were really pregnant you wouldnt feel like shit a week before your expected period. Thats barely even enough time for your body to make the proper amount of hormones. Things like morning sickness and feeling gross and tired dont kick in for a majority of people until like week 6+ and a majority of people you see talk about feeling so sick were actively seeking to get pregnant and were hyper aware of anything to the point they chalk it up to pregnancy. (A fun game is to type in any kind of sickness or ailment to google and add “pregnant” to it and see all of the women desperate for two lines to show up on their pee stick. People will believe anything is a sign of pregnancy)
A good rule is, if you arent pregnant enough to get a positive result, you aren’t pregnant enough to have things like morning sickness. Boobs get bigger and smaller during both ovulation and periods, it doesnt necessarily mean you’re pregnant.
Just did one of those digital tests (it can tell from 1 week, I'd be at three) and it came back negative.
I've had the odd cramp, but I'm not sure if that's me mega-dosing on the parsley/black cohosh. I'm due any day now, so I'll try to relax. I know stress can cause all sorts of symptoms (even fake pregnancy one's apparently!)
Thank you ladies from keeping me from losing my head. I'm still going to go the clinic just to make sure, would it be a good idea to ask them to check my hormones? >Inb4 NHS tells me to gtfo
Errr… anybody got some book recommendations if I'm 7 weeks pregnant, have zero common sense or any knowledge of pregnancy/babies. I didn't even know what trimesters were.
As a frame of reference my ex with diabetes had low or high blood sugar and started acting extremely crazy. I just ignored him for a couple days and planned to lure him out of my apartment but happened to facetime my friend complaining about the situation who told me to call 911. Luckily hubby is a natural father and excellent with kids should I just not be left alone with it? lol
i second >>101854
. parenting sites and forums are filled with a bunch of really out of touch moms. shit gets weird but that book has lasted imo for so long because its neatly packaged decently and less sahm crazy.
its a really hard thing to be responsible for a baby but what helped me was really focusing on the reality that they cannot express what they need with rational reactions. at first its really visceral, and toddlers are emotional but still with the lack of emotional regulation. its tough, but as adults we have capability of rational speech and cognition to express what we want or need (hopefully) in a controlled manner. but young children really arent able to do so and its hard to keep that in mind at times.
having people around you with a sound mind that can help out when you need it is really important. baby matters but so does the parent. my mom died while my first child was a toddler and i have had a second after so i was left in the dark because no one else around me really was 'instinctively' maternal and my inlaws are honestly rather unhinged so it was kind of grasping at straws when i needed a break from being a mom.
sorry for the novel but i was absolutely where you were. my first was an oops baby but i really wanted to try the best i could. you can do it.
Hey anon, with my first pregnancy I was convinced I was having a boy. Absolutely no reason, just felt like I was having a boy. Lo and behold I now have a son.
This time around I’m thinking it’s a girl, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ll have it confirmed once I hit 20 weeks. Women tend to be more intuitive by nature, I don’t see why we wouldn’t have some weird sense about the baby in our belly.
My boyfriend wants to eventually have a kid years down the road, but whenever I think about being pregnant I start having horrible anxiety attacks. I'm pretty thin, but I have stretchmarks on my hips and thighs, so that kind of tells me that I'm going to have horrible ones after giving birth. It doesn't help that weight sticks on me and it's hard for me to lose. After pregnancy, my boyfriend believes I'm going to have zero stretchmarks on my stomach, zero extra skin, and that I'm going to bounce back into a sexy bombshell.
My mom had to work out before, during, and after she had me, but held onto weight pretty badly after my older sister because of zero exercise schedule or healthy eating. Only difference is that she has no stretchmarks. He also keeps saying that, because his sister bounced back and looks even better, that I will too. When he said this to my mom, she laughed and told him he couldn't be more wrong, but he ended the conversation saying that he knows I'll be fine because ~~his sister was fine~~.
Anybody else have similar issues or fears? Anything to help confirm or deny that what I'm saying is true? I'm petrified of my body being absolutely ruined after having a kid, because my body, to me, is already gross enough lol. It doesn't help that I cannot stand babies (kids are ok), so I feel like I'm going to resent the child because I have to deal with a baby and a destroyed body.
first, anon, i don't think being a father at "40" makes him old. my dad was in his mid 30s when he had me, and and in his 40s when my siblings were born, and he always played with us, he never skirted his responsibilities to change diapers, or watch us. he can't cook to save his life, but his age did not stop him from being a good dad.
it sounds like he doesn't really want kids, and he is just toying with the idea without wanting to commit.
a man his age should know exactly what he wants in life and when. i would give him an ultimatum anon. if he wants kids or doesn't want kids, he should start making up his mind and decide for good if he wants to marry you and dedicate his life to you.
also second, to you anon, i don't think you should have kids. if you aren't 100% gung-ho about being a mother, then you don't want to be a mother. the fact that you're okay with the idea of sterilization tells me you don't want this.
Never have children with a man without marriage or some kind of prenupital/legal contract.
His age really isn't an issue, but what is an issue is his indecisiveness to make a commitment to you.
Have a serious talk about it anon, is this a man who you're willing to get strung along with for the next five years? Don't even entertain the thought of children with this man until you've secured yourself in the relationship.
How long have you been together anon? I know there's magical unicorn relationships where people date for 9 years and decide marriage on the 10th, yet generally speaking men know if they want to be with you for the rest of their lives after a couple years of dating. It's ridiculous to give a man that much more of your time with nothing on his end to show he's for committing to you.
You sound like you really shouldn't have children. >>102748
There are medical reasons to hurry up, older fathers tend to have children with greater chances of health issues. That being said, I think you're right that he sounds like he doesn't want kids.
You are not a freak. I really want a child, and I think pregnancy will be kind of nice, but giving birth is the stuff of my nightmares. There's so much shit that can go wrong, and so many cases were women are victimised when they can't do shit anymore because for some reason births are often not done in the best way for mothers and… ugh.
At some point the want for children will overrun the terrified reaction.
Just wanted to empathise about not being believed about being in labour. I was having irregular but painful contractions for a week but was told it was “just a UTI”. The hospital finally admitted me over concern for my mental health because my head was fucked from the pain and uncertainty. The day after I was admitted I had a scan and found out the baby was measuring post term at 38 weeks and I had polyhydramnios/too much amniotic fluid. They refused to consider inducing me and just wanted to check me for gestational diabetes despite meeting none of the criteria/risk factors except the fluid. That night I went into labour, suddenly started having contractions every 6 minutes out of nowhere then down to every 3 within an hour. It took the midwives an hour and a half to come check me and when one eventually did I was 4cm. The fuck ups continued from there but at least they believed I was in labour from that point I guess?
Also the fucking paracetamol. Paracetamol does fuck all when I have a headache, the fuck is it going to do when my body is cranking up to push a baby out
Oh, and after I gave birth I asked about the UTI test results. I didn’t have one lmao
i had a natural birth (don't ask, i wanted to die at the time) and it was like the most painful thing i ever felt. i have really painful scar tissue that didn't heal properly 10 years later…
the nurse was also a cunt and wouldn't hand my baby to me so i had to pick him up out of the bassinet and was scared to death i'd drop him.
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Just found out I’m pregnant so I’m bringing this thread back. Is anyone else pregnant atm?
I've just turned 19, and have recently noticed how broody I've been feeling. I'm not seeing anyone right now and am in college, but sometimes I catch myself thinking of baby names and what I would need to buy and it freaks me out a bit. I've always just assumed I'd have kids at some point or another, but I've never actively thought about the details of it.
But to pull a complete 180, the whole actual 'being pregnant' part scares the fuck of out me. The idea of a human growing inside me and kicking around gives me the heebie jeebies. To make matters worse, I'm really worried of postnatal depression, which is very prevalent in the genes of the woman in my family. And lets not even get to the birth part.
I don't know if its because I feel like my teens are coming to a close and thinking of the ""next stage"" of life is my way of coming to terms with it or what. My mum certainly brings up me having kids enough, and some of my old friends from school are already buying prams. Maybe its just internalised peer pressure to feel this way, or my biological clock is ticking, but I'm just feeling really confused and emotional recently about it all.
I know I'm not mature enough to have kids if I feel horrified about them being inside me in the first place, and I'll obviously wait until I'm financially stable and am in a loving lifelong relationship. Just have to focus on college and wait until the time is right. Ahh sorry that this turned into more of a meaningless vent but it felt better to get all this out of my head.
How dumb can you get?
Nobody wants birth they want a child. How do you come to the conclusion that it’s the few hours of mind shredding pain women want and not the brand new person at the end of it? Maleposters are so weird.
Ok but who TF likes wiping asses and incessant screeching to the point of being willing to shred their vagina to accomplish it
Also a lot of women like being pregnant specifically
Because women aren’t that stupid about women-specific things like birth. >>114098
Reddit has your antinatalist clubs. If you’re triggered
by a baby making a sound you should stay inside. Millions of people want children because that’s how the species continues. You’d have to be literally simple to not realise that, so it’s just a ‘reeee babies exist and I dun like it’ post.
Your opinion isn’t science but go off. I get that it must be hard to function when you’re so easily triggered
into a tantrum because another baby is getting attention but there are clubs like childfree just for coping with that. They all agree with you and you can make up whatever science facts you want.
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Honestly, I don't believe there's anything you can do at all. Stretch marks are definitely genetic. Sorry, anon.
Seconding this, it's a genetic thing. I applied every cream and oil (mostly just because your skin gets itchy otherwise and you need the moisture) and still got stretch Marks, even after never having had one in my life prior. I love them though so it has never bothered me at all.
Clearly the world is secretly being run by infants.
/pol/ has it wrong, it's The Baby Question.>>114717
I like how she ignored the anons pointing out that all relationships involve chemicals "duping" you.
Also not a momanon, so obligatory sage and happy mother's day to moms here!
Newborns are totally Machiavellian villains who trick you for fun. Boss baby was a warning, not a lame movie.
Happy mother’s day momanons!
I get it, but do you really want your potential kid to be an unwanted accident? And are you prepared to dedicate your life, free time, and finances to this accident? Not to mention the health risks related to pregnancy and giving birth.
In case something happens, maybe abortion would be a better choice until you're sure you're ready. If you're ever ready, of course.
Yep, I guess part of me still has this desire to be a mom but I just don’t want to choose it for myself, I’d rather keep an accidental kid than choose to have one and fuck over several aspects of my life intentionally. I’m a depressed anon who sometimes feels like I have nothing to live for, and that a kid might help me have purpose. But that in itself sounds terrible and being a parent is way harder than just filling a void. Not to mention that most parents at some point feel like they’re not doing a good job of being a parent or doubt themselves. I feel like whatever happens to my kid I’d probably blame on myself and have unending thoughts, telling myself that it’s my fault only and that would give me more reasons to hate myself.
Now that I really think about it, I kind of just want a pet that will fill the void. It’s not too good though because my boyfriend wants kids for certain and probably won’t compromise if I decide that my finances and mental health later on aren’t in a state to have kids.
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any mom anons have their opinion to share about taking a baby to the pool? Summer is approaching and I want to take my little one to the pool. What age is too soon to take them? Is it too unsafe and unhygienic? How long did you have them in the pool for etc. Recommended swim attire and diaper? thank you!
I kinda feel the same, this is first time I've ever seen someone other than myself think that way. Like, I'll never actively choose to have kids or go out of my way to have one, but if I accidentally got pregnant I'd take a chance and keep it. I can imagine it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, but I guess it's just that I know in my head that having a kid would be less than ideal, but if the choice was made for me (to an extent) I'd feel more comfortable indulging an emotional decision rather than doing what's best for my bank account and comfort.
I don't have sex though so it ain't gonna happen kek.
Are you me?
Until not that long ago (I'm in my early 20's) I was disgusted at the thought of having kids. I did not like children (did not hate them or anything though).
Lately, I don't feel disgusted with the thought anymore, and I would even say I do want children in the future. I look at kids and think they're funny and cute.
But I think the same, that my children would inherit my anxiety/depression and how much I would suffer to see them suffer. I also sometimes think that I am way too weird/fucked-up to be a good mother.
Also, finding a good man is really hard these days, I don't want to date older men and the guys my age are all immature and video-game addicted.
Hope we can figure out life anon.
I have bipolar disorder and my teenage years were AWFUL. Like I really didn't appreciate how bad it must have been for my mum until I had my daughter. However, part of why it was so bad is that bipolar wasn't really known about then, so no one knew what was up with me or how to handle it. If my daughter has it, I'll know exactly what to do and how to help her, and I'll actually be able to understand what she's going through. Your experience will actually be very valuable. Plus there's no guarantee your child will end up with MH problems - even with hereditary ones I think the chance is 40%?
Also, most parents are weird or fucked-up in some way. You just get too tired and busy to pay it any mind. Not in a horrible way, but becoming a parent makes you realise how self-involved you unconsciously are and you drop a lot of bullshit behaviour. In my experience anyway!
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Any preganons here and can’t stop worrying the baby will die in the womb or during birth? I also look up the premature survival rates every week lol.
Because he thinks it’s unreasonable to ask her to get in a taxi and travel a few miles farther.
She has health problems, but she is well enough to travel out of the country at least twice a year on holiday.
tell him to fuck off lmao
he can make the decision when he learns how to give birth
Idk. I used to find them annoying as hell (and still do in some cases), but then I stopped allowing childfree spergs to influence my opinion. I realized that a lot of kids' behaviour depends on how they are being treated by their parents. During my train commute I started noticing patterns.
Immigrant Muslim mums letting their kids thrash about, wail and cry while they browse their mobiles and ignore them, and the toddlers' older sisters feeling self-conscious and telling the child to be quiet while the actual mother completely forgets about the child or other passengers and lets it cry and scream.
Overindulgent parents spoiling their child, too afraid to speak up against it for fear of being "abusive
" and letting it walk all over them, boss its siblings around and act like a whiny brat if it doesn't get what it wants NOW.
Mothers who sit with their quiet children, amuse them, read to them and tell them to pipe down if they get too loud.
I also had young cousins and nieces I had to babysit and they were really sweet as long as people treated them like human beings and not housepets. Sometimes parents won't let their child be independent and it starts to act out when it isn't given space to breathe and is always told what to do or not do. My own mother was like this and I just treated them how I wanted to be treated and they liked me a lot and listened to me.
I don't want children yet but I'm not against potentially having them in the future. Yeah it's shit to have society dictate what you should and shouldn't do as a mother but as a woman this is the case for everything. I always make sure I have the last word and never do what I don't want to just because "you're supposed to". I've had to train myself to not give a fuck about being judged or hated but it gets easier.
"Immigrant" isn't a race, first of all. And yes this is very typical of Somali mothers because they are the largest group of immigrants with the most kids in my country. I'm an immigrant myself but I'm from Southern Europe.
Second, their parenting style differs greatly from that of the natives here, who are in the category of letting their kids walk all over them. I've lived in different countries over the years and there is always a difference in parenting styles between countries, let's not pretend there isn't.
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Can any mom-anons discuss and share your favorite baby products? Recommended bottles, pacifiers, clothing brands, gear etc.
The mobile thing is pretty unnecessary but everything else is alright enough.
One thing I would add is reusable nappies. They save a LOT of money in the long run and are more breathable, so fewer nappy rashes. You can make some yourself or buy a bunch.
Rubber nipple shields are also good to have, as well as lanolin.
I also wouldn't bother buying new baby clothes. Charity shops always have a lot, and the baby will end up staining them anyway in ten minutes. Make sure to wash them at a high temperature first and you're golden.
Not gonna lie I get weirded out and roll my eyes when moms post on imageboards. Hell, maybe I will be such a mom but I would rather not, but then again, I am grossed out by myself posting right now but this was also the case even when I was a teen and smol kid so I shouldn't care about mommies who should take care of their kids and themselves instead of shitposting. But I'll definitely use it as banter-material and have done so before, both irl and online. But I don't mind them outside of banter in all honesty, and I only would use it as banter if they were being shitty. Hell, despite teenmoms are almost always promiscuous, retarded and in general useless I really don't believe they always turn out losers. In fact statistics over here proves it completely wrong, since they tend to work even harder since…well…they should. I really don't want my daughter to be a teenmom though, I'd hate myself a lot if she became a mom young.>and all that kinda shit?
Since OP allows me: Abortion should be allowed and even encouraged if they're not not doing well whether financially/physically/emotionally/cognitively in any combination possible. I just wonder for pro-abortion folks here… Do you ever just look at a 22 weeks old fetus and think by yourself "damn, that looks JUST like a wholesome human bean except much smaller!". Yeah, when I discovered what a 22/24 weeks old fetus looks like I was shocked there are non-raped women who can do this without feeling any guilt whatsoever. I am in fact afraid of such women, just like you'd be afraid of a killer. Even killing a fleshy big insect for me is pretty much impossible. If the baby is 12 weeks old it is allowed for any reason (in my lil humble opinion alone of course), anything more it should only be in extreme circumstances allowed. Most women who have 5 kids and more started as teens anyways but I absolutely cannot respect any animal or kid hoarder. Get a life if you have more than 4 kids! And I haven't ever seen such kids turning out normal. What is the point of having more than 4 healthy kids? Why do you need 2 more? I guess the only time you could get one is if you: 1. have the means to do so and 2. if you couldn't get all the genders you collected (which is female and male…I knew a woman who had 4 kids but couldn't get a daughter).
I fucking love cute babies and cute babies alone. Stupid (low iq and/or the ones that cry too much are classified as stupid to me) and ugly babies never get awwww'd by me and I don't want it (used purposely) near me. I hope to get pregnant in a couple of years when I'm ready to a loving caring husband.>The bad
Women who breastfeed their kids that are no longer babies. Weirdo. >>115789
I personally use zwitsal because I love the scent. I use it on my body, hair and the powder. I haven't researched which baby products are the best but I can imagine natural ones that don't contain chemicals may be the best for babies. Come to think of it I may need to take that advice for myself too. Any baby products that are 100% not bad for baby & me but especially me?
Diapers. Whether you use cloth, disposable, or a combination of the two, you will need a lot of diapers.>>115813
Depending on where you live, you might also need a car seat to be able to take the baby home from the hospital.
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>>115814> If the baby is 12 weeks old it is allowed for any reason
Am I the only one that finds 12 week old fetus super qt?
That being said I don’t have any problems with abortion. I even support the NY after birth abortion if the baby is retarded/has medical problems. In the past they would have just been left in the woods. I hate those creepy Christians that keep a potato with half a brain alive and then act self righteous about it while neglecting their normal kids.
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It's a peanut-shaped inflatable ball, also called a physioroll. In the delivery room, it helps open the pelvis in a way that is much more comfortable than holding a squat. Its use is associated with a reduction in c-section rate.
During labor, you lie down on your side and put it between your knees.
It can also be a useful sleep prop during the last few weeks of pregnancy when nothing's comfortable, and as an exercise support while your abs are recovering postpartum.
I used one of these in the delivery room because my cervix thinned way more on one side, like 30 minutes with this thing strategically placed between my calves completely solved it.>>115789
We bought the entire tommee tippee closer to nature set and it has done us really well nearly a year in>>115808
Good luck anon, thinking of u
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>39+3 weeks pregnant
Pls send help anons I’m so uncomfortable and miserable.
Could any mothers with narrow hips lend some insight on their experience giving birth? I have the anatomy of a little boy and I'm afraid of having a horrific labour. >>49999>most of the women in my family got their vagina ripped to their anus