>>473129Your story is so adorable, anon. And I love your picrel. Personally, I fell in love with my husbando as a child, and at the time I was very insecure about everything about me, I'm still insecure just not as bad as back then, so my self-insert OC looked, sounded, and behaved nothing like me because I thought I wasn't enough for him, even though he's just as flawed as me, but kid me didn't see or understand his character and flaws as adult me does. As an adult, I moved on from majority of my insecurities, and my self-insert OC is now like an idealized perfect version of the actual me, and I recognize his flaws and embrace them, relate to some of them even, and feel like I'd be at ease with him being myself 100% without him judging me in any way, because he's that kind of sincere and genuine person who doesn't care about how "weird" someone is, because he's weird to an extent himself, just not aware of it. So we'd fit like two peas in a pod. But I, being the retarded perfectionist I am, can't bring myself to let him know everything about me from the get go in my fantasies, and have an elaborate storyline about how I ease into it eventually and it's an entire arc about learning to trust someone with that and him being jealous that my #2 husbando knows all about me while he doesn't and it ends up in some big fight but after he finds out everything against my will, it puts a strain on our relationship but he pulls through and proves himself by loving me despite the fight we have and trying to apologize and win me back in every possible way but I just can't accept his betrayal and I try to kill him because I am insane like that. The alternative plot line of this is much cuter ofcourse, where I tell him everything and he accepts the way I am and starts understanding me better and it improves our relationship, but I love the spicy
toxic drama.