No. 547976
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I hope I don't sound insane nonnas, I wondered if this is normal.
I'm 31 and I'm thriving in my thirties having survived some exceptionally traumatic things in my early and mid twenties, I've worked in the same job for six years and I have always been the youngest. In the last year I've become very close to another girl who started here, and she is currently 23. We both get a lot of male attention and we both have really good conversations between us about the ageism that we get sometimes from the women who are in their 60s, for being younger. Honestly we often get victim blamed when men are creeps and we stick together.
Lately I've been feeling really dysphoric because I gained about a stone and a half last year, but I find myself gently envying my friend's metabolism and how we are almost the exact same size and height but she can eat way more comfort food than me and not gain weight, and her period bloat she'll complain is obvious but to me it's really cute and a soft little bump. When I have it I feel really perceived. My insides feel tired and I'm sometimes envious that I never got to have the same experience at 23, and that's when my father died and a lot of bad things were happening.
Is it normal to sometimes feel envy towards girls in their early twenties? Besides this friend, I swear the girls I see in their early 20s have it so together, their fashion is impeccable and they just seem to know what to do? My intrusive thoughts have started to paint me as inferior and not as pretty as my lovely work friend, despite us both always getting complimented, I don't know but because I'm older and she's younger, sometimes I feel a bit in my head? Am I insane?
PS. Late diagnosed autism at 26 and doing much better now but god does my autistic brain get the urge to skinwalk this friend. Out of the both of us she gets mistaken as older, and me the younger one but I just wish my early twenties had been more full of whimsy. I am making up for this now by filling my thirties with it.
Also I hate how moids perceive anyone over 25 as past their time. What the fuck?