Yes, this realization recently hit me because I'd never looked at my childhood photos before until very recently when helping my mom clean house. I definitely got smacked hard with the ugly stick at puberty, I developed an incredibly unflattering body type and my chin got very masculine and my nose got wonky. It seemed immediate. 9th birthday pics very cute. 11th birthday, wtf what happened? By 12 and 13… Jesus christ. I guess I thought I was always ugly, it kinda feels worse knowing otherwise lol
It felt like I had finally gotten over my looks a few years ago, like so what I'm a cool person and who cares, but this year it's been bothering me again and I think I never really made my peace with it but just ignored it.
I don't know if therapy will help, I've tried it before a few times but they want to focus on other shit and refer me to psychiatrists for a thousand shit meds, whereas I believe my looks are my sole self esteem problem, thus depression, thus anxiety, etc. But I don't really know. Certainly not coping well with it lately.