/g/ - girl talk

>>392235
I have a very similar past to you nonita but I don't feel the slut shaming aspect. When those things happened I didn't know the things I did now, I was naive and believed that a man's desire was the most valuable thing. Be kind to your younger self, she didn't know any better and many young girls fall into this same trap. Our sexual agency when we're younger is influenced by a patriarchal world that prioritises a man's sexuality over our own, it's fairly normal (while also not a good thing) that when our sexuality develops we fall into the trap of being sexually provocative.
I'm in a loving relationship now and much less sexual in that nature, and I can tell you I've been actively trying to figure out what pleasure means to me, what sexual agency means to me, and how I can feel happy and in control when intimate with my boyfriend. Give yourself time and space to work it out, and be gentle. You're out of that rough patch now and can explore the joys of a normal, happy sex life.

>>392242
Thank you for your kind words nona. I know it's a common experience among our generation, and I feel like I've forgiven myself and shifted the blame on those moids a long time ago already. But I feel that I'm still blocked internally and can't manifest that change into action, like there is an unconscious dam that is still blocking the free flow of my own erotic essence and sexual freedom. Maybe I just have to go for it and force myself to take control, like you said. That's a good way of putting things, it seems like I'm in the passenger seat and going for a nice ride but not driving myself.

>>392281
Ayrt, I see what you mean, I have the same thing too and there's still a lot of internal blocks I have that I can't seem to find the words for. I found a huge help was just chatting to my bf about them, putting words to the things I'm feeling in front of him to interpret, ask questions about and sympathise with materialises those feelings to be able to then better interpret them yourself. Sorry if that doesn't make much sense as I just woke up lol, but I can tell you talking about it (and allowing time to heal and grow) makes all the difference.

Not really sex advice I guess but uhm, I'm pretty sure my neighbors can hear me in the bedroom, would I be rude and terrible to have non silent sex in there? I don't want to do it in the living room because the couch sucks and there are cats in there lol

>>392815
you're gonna get different opinions on this but in my opinion it's not rude to make noise in your own apartment. You all pay rent, you all live lives, you can't live completely silently. Natural sounds of living like talking, having sex, walking around and cooking are not ever "rude". Hearing your neighbors is just part of living in a shitty apartment with thin walls.

Weird threadpic choice, agree with >>392587. Maybe it’s the eyebrows

Previous thread dammit
>>>/g/225178

Karolina is just so beautiful and adorable in the firs part of the video. I love that she tries to be sassy but you can notice she's a serious almost introvert person. I think she's quirky in the right way, at least she used to. I can't help but imagine myself teasing her while she cuts her hair and eventually distracting her to the point we start making out with her hair still being halfway cut.

>>392799
A screenshot from the video

>>392799
I’ve always found her beautiful too. I love her personality and accent. I want her to lace me up in a corset uncomfortably tightly while ranting to me about correct costume history.

>>322355
Same fag… Un-fucking-recognizable at Coachella this year

This doesn't seem to be a celeb-only thread so I'm posting the first 'literal who' here.

>>392540
freshly divorced ex mormon mom of 4 energy

>>392540
I'm incredibly surprised he hasn't trooned out yet. I hope he doesn't because lord knows feminine/androgynous men are dropping like flies catching strays from the alphabet mafia, but he's really been leaning into the commercial queerification.

>>390273
He looks polyamorous now.

>>392779

See, you get it.

>>392778
Wow! I had an identical experience with my college friend who always cuddled with me and wanted to make out. She'd always say "I wish I was gay but I'm so straight. But if I was gay I'd date you." After she saw me with a real girlfriend, she never spoke to me again.

She was hot and she had boyfriends and stuff. And of course I fell for her because we had strong chemistry and she led me on. I should've fucked her. She wanted it.

>>392788
>After she saw me with a real girlfriend, she never spoke to me again.
She was mad at you for getting a gf?

>>392908

NTA but I think the girl was just homophobic and wanted to stop being friends with anon based off of the new girlfriend. Either that or it's romantic jealousy.

>>392974
sounds like a classic case of the orbiter type who hangs around hoping something will happen and then disappears once the girl gets an s/o, but a rare female incarnation of it

>>390110
I didn't yet, fuck me. I keep wanting to but it's hard breaking up with someone who made me so happy once and who's family has been so nice to me. Anyway I don't deserve to be treated like a bangmaid, I need to get up the nerve to do it.

>>62343
>>62272
reading this is so funny.
Seeing the current trend of Nonnitas shouting they only want to date younger guys from the rooftops.

>>390117
it will only get worse if you don't do it. one more day with him is one less day with a guy who will "make you so happy" ALL the time. I believe in you anon

dated a retarded fat moid because I thought he was just shy. he wouldn't even talk to me in public and he was so fucking ugly. I'm ashamed I made excuses for him. I thought ugly guys would be nicer and more honest.

>>157088
I do believe my grandma and mom when they tell me this, but I’ve never been super into wanting kids. I really didn’t want kids until I met my current partner, just because I think he’d be such a good dad. I feel like I would have the kids and just be absent then, like my dad who worked a lot and didn’t spend much time with us. My man would do all the child rearing. But then I just think of all the time I would miss out on with him, and all the time we’d waste on these kids, which sucks. It’s such an insane choice, to give up all your time and energy and make it someone else’s who doesn’t even have a fully developed brain.

Recently family has been visiting with two young kids and it’s been awful hanging out with them. They don’t listen when you want to chat, they want to watch the same YouTube meme videos over and over and over and over, they have terrible attention spans, and they whine and cry because they have no patience. We went to a theme park and they didn’t even want to ride the rides. I love their parents so it’s weird to have this struggle, like seeing them give their kids unregulated access to the internet when I know what’s on YouTube and what they are likely stumbling across. I like to think if I ever had kids they would love to be outside and we would have a lot of fun, but kids are people and they might hate all the things I like. Not to mention if I’m cursed with one of those born-violent moids that make your life hell until they run away from home and are in and out of jail for the rest of their lives. I couldn’t forgive myself if I brought that into the world.

I also feel like being pregnant would be horrible. I would love to be doted on and treated gently, but I don’t like that fetish moids would get off looking at me, or that people would still be fucking rude anyway because people are assholes, or that basically everyone who looks at me is just recognizing me as a uterus. When I think about it, it feels like being pregnant in public is like being at the gynecologist in public. It’s hard to explain, maybe somebody else knows what I’m talking about. It’s like your uterus walks into the room before you do. I just don’t know if it’s worth it, maybe I’ll secretly change my IUD and just tell my moid we’re infertile. I am also terrified of having post-partum psychosis. I think PPD is a guarantee for me.

>>274593
Kek yes please come to The Villages, we can be old lady nonnas together

after struggling relentlessly with different forms of birth control for the last decade i’m finally scheduled to have my tubes removed next month and i’m so excited!!!! i can’t wait to never be scared of being pregnant again and there’s a part of me that feels so empowered by this decision, like i can’t be dictated by the miserable politics surrounding women’s reproductive rights anymore

>>156644
this. I always found other kids too loud (any surprise that i'm autistic), and it only got worse. My mom dragged me to informal church playgroups with kids half my age and I was expected to babysit them, because guess who was responsible when they misbehaved?

My parents are shitty even without that aspect of my childhood.

>>392766
my trashy mother forced me to take care of my younger brother starting when i was six so she could sleep all day. he was seriously disturbed, not least of all due to our dysfunctional home environment. sometimes he would scream and break things and hit me and i'd just have to deal with it because waking up our mother meant her flying into a rage of her own. i remember one afternoon i came home from school and saw that her arms were covered in bloody scratch marks because he had clawed at her while she was holding him. because my mother is retarded she would laugh off incidents like him trying to stab our goldfish or beat him with a belt, which in turn made him act worse. the thought of giving birth to an unhinged child like that and having to deal with him for the rest of my life (after i moved out she had no choice but to actually parent him herself) terrifies me.

>>390145
I don't think you're being paranoid, you may not have repressed memories but you may have picked up on a pattern. For instance, I had a similar discomfort around my father that started around when I found depraved bdsm porn on his computer. This added context to why my mom always looked like she was dead inside, and I realized he was an abusive piece of shit, but attempted to deny that fact. He also said creepy things about me that I was only able to fully understand later, but was in denial about at the time. None of these things were repressed, I just didn't allow myself to put the pieces together at the time if that makes sense.

>>392508
Personally I know people have their own choices but it would be honest to discuss such things with a partner. Not everyone wants to date a survivor for example.

I feel like I only look good at certain angles/positions. I lost 100 lbs a couple of years ago and my tits never recovered, I went from a full D to an A. My vagina looks all saggy when I sit up but if I'm laying down or bending over it looks plump and full. It makes me never want to do certain positions (like face-sitting) cuz of how not-tight my body looks.

Massive wall of text incoming, sorry.
posting some jumbled thoughts i never got out of my system.
i was molested by my mother from early childhood, until-my late teens. it decreased as soon as i became strong enough to fight back her physical abuse. she was also insanely obsessive and protective, breaking down in rage fits if i was outside for more than half an hour, daily meltdowns etc.
i was also harassed, molested and raped (by men) later in life, but the abuse i think about the most is hers, unsurprisingly. i never repressed memories and became a 'numbed' kind of person rather than purely over-sensitive (more on that later).
this left me with an STD i caught early in life, it is treatable (i just keep postponing the doctor visit bc i'm retarded and ashamed) and vaginismus.
another consequence was feeling like i was some kind of monstruous thing that could explode like a bomb, hurting other girls and women. It started around my late teens, kind of abruptly. i think it was mostly typical teenage angst, internalized homophobia and porn use (i was exposed to it super early, started watching it regulalry in mid-teens), but it felt almost delusional. I believed i was committing a crime just by existing around other girls. This feeling faded quickly after i stopped watching porn and 'purging' my mind from it, and i'm in a much better place now (yayyy).
im mostly attracted to women (have been my whole life), although i quite like men these days. but i'm in a weird position. i kind of 'freeze' internally whenever there's mutual interest w/ a woman and i never managed to go further than flirting and occasional touch, even if i really savored those little moments. It's like my mind reaches for them, filling up with love and desire, only to curl up and become tiny at the slightest sign of reciprocity.
i used to worry that i prefer women because of CSA, but i don't care anymore. i think that stuff can permanently influence your sexual orientation (controversial i know, kek) but you can integrate it in a healthy way. i just know i've had so much affection and desire for them, it can't be all trauma reenactment.
i've been in one relationship as an adult, it's good but mostly asexual (we're more of an 'old couple' in spirit, it's cozy but it was never passionate, even in the beginning, at least on my end).
i very much want to try having a more satisfactory sex life, but there's a weird worry. see, i am incapable of feeling Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>392894
I don't have advice for everything in your post, nonna, but I just wanna say your abuse wasn't any easier just because it was from your mom than from your dad. I think most of the mental pain is the same, and there's a whole lot of weird stigma that comes from being abused by someone of the same gender because people won't 'believe' you in the same way. It's also okay to understand that a parent who abused you had shit circumstances themselves, but they are still a shit person (speaking from my own experiences with my parents). I also feel extremely angry but can't bring myself to cut off my family completely. But it is okay to be angry and confused. I think familial abuse is really hard to navigate.
Also, before you focus on increasing your sex life, maybe you could work up the courage to go see a gynecologist first? And you could even as the gynecologist to not do a pap smear or anything the first time. Maybe just go and talk about what your expectations or worries are.
Good luck. It's not easy.

>>390822
Bought the small version 15mL! New daytime perfume!

>>391883
Maybe Demeter Fragrances? They sell unusual scents such as Earthworm, Dust, Funeral Home, etc. They're around $24 if you get the ounce of perfume but prices go cheaper if you get the body oil or lotion forms

>>375596
I bought a sample of Fantomas recently. Certainly unsettling. It begins with an intensely sweet honeydew melon note and it gets smokier on the drydown. There's also a plastickyness to it, maybe like rubber gloves. My friend told me it reminded her of a hospital.

Nasomatto also has a scent called Nudiflorum which I find very beautiful but could never wear in public… extremely leathery, rhubarby, sweaty/animalic, and sweet

>>391883
Axe body spray.

>>392738
The notes for this is mind boggling

>>392628
He's 26 years old and is too afraid to think about the future? He's a lost cause, nonnie. I'm really sorry this man got you caught up in this such long of a relationship and friendship. This was an easy situation for him because you two were long distance. He didn't have many upfront expectations. I'm certain this was a pretty easy relationship to deal with yourself, but for better reasons. I'm certain once you had made it out to Japan, he wouldn't have been able to handle the real you. You dodged a bullet. Be thankful it happened now. I'm really sorry of this being your first relationship so I understand why talking about the future wasn't very upfront, you're still sprouting. Your ex cannot handle confrontation, be mindful of this. Don't please him because even still something will end up bothering him. It's best to keep no contact with him for at least 3 months. Unless you want to leave him a long final message, not asking him back but to say how hurt you are, after that block him.

how to stop thinking about him? it was perfect. then he suddenly said that we don't match (even though 2 days before it was the opposite). i can't even ask him why. he just repeats "i'm sorry for hurting you" and that he is not comfortable with me anymore. do i just trick my brain into doing a 180 switch on him and hating him? I don't want to think about him anymore, but no matter what i do my mind keeps going back, thinking i was used, or made fun of, or that there was something wrong with me.

>>391878
I’m sorry nona. I went through the exact same thing. I was young, had untreated undiagnosed mental illness, behaved like a fool, was very immature etc. My ex bf was very passive aggressive, snide and generally mistreated and negged me but always in sneaky ways that he could gaslight me into thinking it was my imagination or that I was overreacting (and I admit at times I did overreact)

But when he dumped me he blamed absolutely everything on me and left feeling smug and perfect about himself. It’s really really fucking annoying but eventually you do get over it. Who really cares if he tried to paint you as the villain anyway? Moids love that shit tbh.

>>392679
I’m sorry nona. The lesson is never trust a man, even if he swears he loves you and wants to marry you. To be honest, you dodged a bullet. You don’t want a guy that fickle anyway, or someone who dumps other people so coldly and suddenly, or someone whose feelings/love can turn on a dime like that.

These are the type of moids women spend 25 years in a marriage with and then suddenly he announces he’s leaving her for his 21 year old coworker and the wife never hears from him again. Those moids are scum of the earth.

>>392628
I’m sorry nona. Breakups always hurt badly. There isn’t any quick fix for them. Only time can lessen the pain eventually.

The worst part about breakups imo is the losing the friend/someone to talk to everyday part. They’re suddenly not there and there’s so much boredom and free time that you now have to fill by yourself. This is why I always recommend having hobbies and interests and friends outside of a relationship. Because unfortunately men can just ghost out of nowhere for no reason at all. And if you don’t have things to fill your time with you are going to be thinking about him 24/7 and feeling absolutely miserable. As hard as it is, try and go for a walk, go to a cafe and talk to a barista even if it’s just small talk. Try and draw something, even if you suck at it. Pet a kitty you see in the street. Call a family member or message an old friend if you can. Hell, even download a dating app and talk to random men if you want, and then delete it the next day. You have to establish interests and connections with people aside from your ex bf, even if they aren’t as fun or fulfilling as that connection was. No matter how small, you have to branch out more. Being completely emotionally and psychologically dependent on one moid will kill you.

>>392698
You're right nona, thanks. My ex was also pretty passive aggressive and blamed everything on my mental problems. In a "caring way" but basically he would just dismiss anything I said if something bothered me in the relationships and made it my problem that was kinda expected to be fixed in a simple straightforward way. There were lots of little things that make me think it's good that it has ended. I just sometimes forget about some of them and fall into these weird moods where I see myself in a super negative light, so another person seems better in comparison, and I feel like I'm the worst. I'm ok now and I really don't care what my exes think hehe

I hope it's okay to bump this thread.
>How many pairs of shoes do you own?
>Would you buy more shoes or do you think you should get rid of some?
>What's your favourite pair of shoes right now?
>Do you prefer summer shoes (sandals, flip flops, slippers..), medium weather shoes (sneakers, moccasins…) or winter shoes (boots and other warm shoes)? Why?
>Do you own any heels? What are the tallest and shortest heels you own?
I own about 17-18 pairs of shoes and I actually just bought 3 more. I buy a lot of second hand shoes at a very reasonable price. I really don't mind if they're a little bit worn out or dirty because I own specific cleaning products and shoe deodorant, and sometimes I risk putting sport shoes on the washing machine. I am (hopefully) selling some of my shoes because I don't want to own that many. My favourite pair of shoes are these Gel Galaxy 9 black and purple Asics I bought for 6€, I use them when I go running but I also wear them with jeans and informal ourfits because they are super comfortable. I'm a winter person, I absolutely prefer my wardrobe for colder seasons, including footwear. I own a simple pair of flat leather black boots, no zippers, no lacing, just wide cut leather. They become my everyday casual shoes once the temperature is cold enough. I very much prefer boots than sandals. I also own one pair of platform boots with a 9 cm heel, that's the tallest shoe I have right now. They are thigh-high boots and the heel is square-shaped and heavy as fuck, so these are perfect candidates for the a resell because I have only used them twice in one year. Some years ago I was really into kitten heels and I still own two pairs, 3-4cm tall each. I don't wear them anymore but they are authentic leather so I'm not sure about selling them.

>>392688
i've been wanting to try asics so thank you for the rec. i mostly wear skechers since they're insanely soft and comfortable so i'd love to find a pair that feels as nice but is less ugly.

>>392688
I own 2 pairs of sneakers I regularly wear and like 3 pairs of heels I haven't worn in 5+ years, that's it. I need to get a pair of sandals. Idk where I'd store 20 pairs though.

I’ve always hated heels due to how uncomfy they are. Then I bought a pair of 6 inch heels from Japan, just to experiment with walking in I guess. And they were sooooo comfortable wtf. Like super cushioned sole. And a slight platform to reduce pressure on the ball of the foot. I have no idea where those heels are now but every pair of western heels I’ve tried since hurts my feet so bad since.

>>392691
I'm really happy with all the shoes I've bought from that brand, although I always look for 1 size more than I'd normaly use. I guess it's because it's a Japanese brand.
>>392695
I have a big shelf in my closet full of shoes (in boxes). It really is a waste of space.
>>392696
What brand, anon? Would you post a picture of a similar pair?