I'm the 27y/o bf anon you're replying to. You're right in that I sought out a terrible person because I thought I was a terrible person, but really no, we were nothing alike. I think you underestimate how self-loathing and self-destructive I was as a teenager. I'm not trying to make myself look like a victim
, I never indicate that in my greentext. If I did view myself that way, I would have said he preyed on me, and I felt threatened to stay with him, but truthfully I stayed because I didn't know where else to get positive attention. That being said, he shouldn't have had sex with a 16 year old and took her money for alcohol.
It makes sense because of previous traumas mentally illness I just wanted my life to end and might as well go see this scary internet man who will probably kill me. Yes I walked into hell on purpose, but he should have never let me in the first place. I place blame on both parties. Honestly it took a lot of therapy to realize that it wasn't 100% my fault, so I have to just disagree with you that a 16 year old girl and a 27 year old man were both equally bad.
I'm in my 20s now, I got my GED, I saved enough money to move across the country and peruse the career I want. I am now on good terms with my mom and we went to therapy together. 16 year old me is an alien to me and I just wanted to semi-objectively vent about my loser ex-boyfriend without injecting too much narrative.