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This is an interesting thread, I hope anons don't get weird and race bait. Due to all the racism compounded by the sexism black women face, it seems like you're forced to either find internal confidence or self destruct. I think a lot of black women have risen to the challenge though; this has even been shown in studies where black women (in the U.S.) typically have higher levels of confidence compared to latinas and white women (https://www.glamour.com/story/black-women-more-confident-other-groups-females-survey
). For those who feel they've mostly become immune to criticism and pettiness from racists/sexists, how would you say you got there? Was there anything in particular that really opened your eyes or lessons you held close? Did you get to that point on your own or with the help of others? I know being a "strong black women" is a shitty stereotype at times, but for sure the world pushes you to find self confidence and I was wondering how that has worked out for you (or not).
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Anon,have you tried putting your hair in cornrows and then having someone put in crochet braids or hair of any sort? It's so much easier! You can keep it in for a couple of months too and it actually looks good if you take care of it. Crochet saved my life lmao. You get to have it in a protective style with little work and still keep a nice appearance!
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Get into japanese Straightening nonny
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I HATE the way black women are portrayed in media so much. I can't stand it, honestly. Me and my boyfriend watched the Winx club remake out of curiosity and it was so annoying. First of all they white washed Musa for some reason? I guess they couldn't find an Asian actress?? They did Aisha so dirty. She follows Bloom around like a lost dog and plays mom of the group,she barely has a character of her own or a love interest. I know it's shallow but I wish they'd cast a cuter dark skin girl to play Aisha. Also why do they dress the girls like middle aged moms?
I haven't, but I'll definitely look into that. Thanks!>>199706
I'd say that it's fine to do that if you genuinely like whatever style you're seeing as long as you're not overemphasizing the blackness of whoever you're complimenting like >>199715
says. I might be in the minority that still finds it flattering at the same time as finding it uncomfortable as fuck lol
All the things that made Winx great (fashion, diverse characters with own personalities, fun whimsical setting) is gone in the new one. Honestly I think they made it that way just to spite us. That director was so sure of himself he didn't even care or do any research about what the fans liked. You know how triggered
men get when women have a show all to themselves.
Aisha was the most annoying character on that show. And it annoyed me even more because ofc it had to be the black chick.
I also wish they chose a cuter dark skinned black chick to play her, but since all of them look like soccer moms from the 80s with the exception of bloom (sometimes), I guess it's okay
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It's rare for a white girl to look like a depigmented black girl. Having fuller lips or a bigger ass than the average white girl won't make a white girl look black. Also, they almost never have features as large as the average black woman and when they do it's usually disliked. Look up any conversation online about Angelina Jolie and white men are complaining about her lips.
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When I was like 15 I got groomed by a racist swedish man and remembering that pictures of my underaged body are in that man's hands makes me wanna die. I was so insecure back then. Any dude showing me any attention back then made me do stupid things. When I got older I kind of grew into my looks. I just remember being young and seeing men say horrible things about women that looked like me and it tore my confidence to shreds at a very young age. Honestly the internet is so toxic to little black girls or atleast it was back then. I really wish my parents were more attentive about that. Just a quick PSA.
Nta, but I don't think it was intentional. See >>199583
. Seems like an honest mistake from OP, imo
to me, what helps the most is keeping a clear perspective. i will always be black, i'll always be a woman– of course, i didn't choose to be either of these things, but i'm making the best of it. so if people criticise me for things i didn't choose… how is that my fault? why should i even care? it's not like i can control the thoughts and behaviours of others, just like they can't control mine. it's not my job to cure anybody's bigotry, nor defy their preconceived notions of black women.
you know what my job is? focusing on the shit that actually matters, shit i have some influnece over. i wouldn't describe myself as a "strong black woman" by any means; i don't even know if i'd consider myself confident. what i can say for sure is that, while prioritising my own, i only really care about the opinions of one or two people. everyone else is irrelevant.
i hope that helps at least a little bit, and that maybe some other anons will chime in with their own experiences. at risk of sounding cheesy, i have a message for all the black women in this thread: no matter what other people say about you, you deserve to be happy.
NTA, but no it's not lmao. There's nothing "masculine" about dark skin, this is such a pathetic cope.
Pale women often tan their skin to sometimes extreme levels to look youthful and less wrinkly, and melanin literally increases with estrogen levels.
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Men are weird. I don't necessarily think that's true because let's be honest men will fuck anything. Men just like to neg women. They do it with pride when other men are around. Dark skin women are just an easy target. Especially black women,at least in the US.
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Yeah, as a tiny-mouthed Slav I call bullshit.
Can you stop saying this tbh it's embarrassing and I really think it's going to attract race-baiters and trigger
infighting. Just knock it off. Slavs don't look like us and we don't look like them.
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Albanians on the other hand… KIDDING
>>201235>As a tiny mouthed, flat-assed black girl, I also call bullshit
anyone can do this>>200224
big lips are definitely more common on Slavic people–obviously not to the extent of Black women on average, but definitely larger than anglo europeans or even some other ethnic groups.
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I can't believe someone necroed this thread to talk about this again.
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Please don't starve yourself! If people aren't appreciative, they just have bad taste and they're brainwashed.
I'm a bit slavic and know a lot of slavs, they definitely have huge noses and small lips compared to black people. I'm not saying this to put down black people either as we both know big noses and small lips are considered unattractive. Slavs are only attractive because they have light skin, hair and eyes. They're also very lithe compared to people of color who tend to be curvier or have broadest figures.
I also don't understand why people think black women are unattractive. They're not seen so in my country and most black men and women in my country look like models because they're very beautiful and tall, although it's a middle eastern country so it's given. I think this whole issue is caused by racism as black women are quite beautiful just as any woman and people who tend to disagree are almost always mysteriously racist incels.
I don't have a Twitter.
"Being a black girl is frustrating as fuck. Being a girl in general is infuriating at times. There's really nowhere to vent about it so I thought I'd make a thread for the black girls who wanna vent and the girls who wanna ask questions or are curious about the black community and all of the fantastic sexism within it! Lol."
You came here on a black girl vent thread but you're mad that a black girl is venting.
Anon, read pls
The links don't work so just copy and paste them.
specific races. Basically, no racebait threads. That same rule also says no nationality threads, but we still have a ton in /ot/.
The rules are outdated anyway.
I'm not in an interracial relationship (yet) but I have been in an interracial relationships before. Normally when I saw old pics of my (now ex) bf's ex girlfriends I normally think of how better I am i.e how nice my lips are, how curvy my body is, how fun I am with introducing my exes to new activities and my hobbies etc.
Don't down yourself anon, you're probably an amazing person and the fact that your bf is dating you is an improvement compare to the exes he had. Also dont spend too much time dwelling on his exes, just move on and don't think about it.
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Does anyone have any advice about how to feel less insecure about my natural hair?
Back in school I used to be made fun of for my hair and hairstyle, I used to either have it in an afro or cornrows. I did ask my mom a few times about getting my hair relaxed and she refused and I'm glad I didn't get it done. Since high school I always been wearing wigs when out in public.
I'm inspired to wear my natural hair out but i have no clue on making it look nice. I also have another problem of my sister pulling my hair every now and then, its too complicated to go into detail, so some parts of my hair is shorter than other parts.
Side note, I kinda relate to the character Missy from Big Mouth. I never really did anything nice and fancy with my hair. My cousin introduced me to wearing extensions but it takes way too long to do and take out.
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Kek get fucked angry racist moid
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I wish I knew how to be more confident in it. It's a fucking journey, and the way other people (including black people) treat natural hair makes it more difficult. It's like I feel like natural hair is beautiful on everyone but me.
My apologies anon, I thought I clicked on >>263193
. They've been doing this in another thread.
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I've had my braids in for 3 weeks and I really should re-do them but I don't want to
that's what happens when black girls grow up in majority white suburban schools. black people in general, tbh, since black boys in this dynamic are also weird and let their white gfs call them nwords and slaves.
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I hate how black women (usually older ones, ime) will put down other black women for their natural hair. It's like they hate the idea of other women feeling good about their natural hair.
>When are you getting your hair done?
>Your hair is nappy
>Do something to your hair
Let me wear my low-effort fro in peace damn it! Having it out doesn't mean it wasn't styled or isn't "done". No I will not be getting it chemically treated, there's nothing wrong with coils betch.
I personally think that natural curly/kinky hair is really cute and beautiful, although obviously the most important thing here is that you're happy and comfortable. Don't let people bully you into hopping on the latest bandwagon.
I used to get bullied in school for having really thick eyebrows (this was back when tweezing your brows down to tiny sperm shapes was popular) and I'm so glad I didn't give in. All the girls who bullied me permanently ruined their eyebrows by overtweezing them, so now all those girls are dropping tons of money for microblading. Stay true to yourself, and don't let bitter bitches rope you into fads.
Lipstick Alley rant & Lack of black female spaces online rant-
I'm so sick of fonts who become groupies towards other women for having a decent or rich man. I worry about the self esteem of some women on that site, because they genuinely think the biggest accomplishment in life is getting a "high value man" and judge women only on whatever scrote they have and how he treats her. Then I'm not even sure if it's fake "black women" or real black women making some of the most disgusting and discouraging posts anymore.
I'm sick of the constant threads focusing on children.From people justifying why it's okay to call/imply North West is fat, or pretending to be "concerned" about her weight. To freaking out over LeBron's son prom date (while claiming they don't care) and the fact there's a whole thread talking about celebrity children's looks like fucking creeps.
I feel like the site is slowly getting worse. There seems to be a lot of TRA who suddenly popped up. Then there's the gay men who say whatever they want to/about women but get mad, when people talk about troons, gay or bisexual men.
I feel like everything is so male focused. Some fonts don't even hate non-black women because of racism or ill-treatment, it's purely based on them thinking, BM "prefer" them. it's getting to the point where light skinned women with monoracial parents get hate when a bm dates them. Kendrick Lamar's wife is black, but light skinned, yet fonts were dissecting her race & she's not black enough for Kendrick to be "Woke"..
I'm sick of going into threads where the woman is attacked for being chosen by a black man. Almost every non-black woman who dates a BM despite her background or if she's ever said anything about black women, is always getting called, "Basic" and insulted.
I'm sick of seeing young black women being picked apart for the smallest of shit. Or only being praised when they are chosen by men (Lori Harvey) or disliked because they are treated badly by men.
It's becoming the female version of the Coli.
The difference here is I feel solidarity. Even when we don't agree, I know this place is "woman first". Even if we are all different colors and have different opinions. I never feel bad as a black woman or get told, "You'll never be this or that".
It's not scrote based hate if that makes sense.
It's sad because it's not even the scrotes ruining the site for me. It's other women. I wish there was a better place for me as a black woman to discuss shit, without focus on troons or expecting me to be okay with that. It's like the ONE place you can express yourself freely about certain things besides here. I hate the lack of black female spaces online where you can say what you want. Maybe I'm just getting too old.
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I'm not but there are a lot of books on this topic you may want to check out. Take a look at >Surviving the White Gaze: A Memoir by Rebecca Carroll >In Their Voices: Black Americans on Transracial Adoption by Rhonda M. Roorda>Raceless: In Search of Family, Identity, and the Truth About Where I Belong by Georgina Lawton
.. why not just adopt a white child? you realize how many poor white kids are in the foster system?
but you gotta virtue signal and adopt a black baby lmao
nta. That's not necerssarily how it works depending on where you are. Where I am from the best adoptive parents are chosen for a child not the other way around so adoptive parents don't get to pick and choose a skincolour. You get matched with a child and it's take it or leave it.
It was obvious anon was talking about a potential scenario, not that she's actively looking to adopt a black child specifically for their skin colour. So unnecerssarily catty.
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>>267749>so adoptive parents don't get to pick and choose
that is quite literally not true at all. There's a reason why people complain about the number of kids/teens/disabled/etc stuck in the system without ever finding a home.
In the U.S. 49% of adoptive parents are white yet black children are overrepresented in foster care (23%). Why would it be a bad thing for a child to go to a home that wants them and get out of the abusive
foster care system? She's also clearly trying to prepare and be considerate of the child's situation and the confusion it might cause instead of pretending being "colorblind" is a thing.
nta but did you even read?
>Where I am from the best adoptive parents are chosen
Its the same here, you can't pick and chose a child, you have no say in skin color or sex
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>tfw this thread will probably be locked because every 5 posts is someone coming in to racebait
Pls nonnas, keep it civil. We're all farmers at the end of the day!
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Any black nonnies that love their hair but hate how much work they have to put into taking care of it. I love my hair on its own but i don't like how it gets dry and tangled easily. It makes combing and styling such a pain. I'm over styling it in braids and cornrows because removing those is also a pain.
I think dreadlocks are the easiest because they do need moisturizing but you don't have to comb your hair and you can dye it without worrying about hair breaking. Planning on getting locks and dying it like picrel
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Wish I had a normal, non-woke black female therapist to help my with my problems. I feel embarrassed to even speak to a white therapist. I know most therapists and doctors make fun of you behind your back, but I have this belief that black therapists are more likely to see you as a normal person with struggles than as spectacle to be mocked. Crazy thought.
I was talking to a friend i have online, she's mostly woke and she said to me The amount of black men I run into, that I find out are into trans with penises or like gay/trans porn on social media scares me".
It just made me realize that while We don't have to worry about black moids trooning out unless they are gay, a lot of black moids are either bisexual on the low. I don't know if it's a "pornsick" thing, or if it's just the community CAN be homophobic a lot, but I don't think it's all that. Men can kill, rape and cheat, but they can't come out about their sexuality? I'm so sick of coddling black Downlow moids. Homophobia isn't an excuse anymore, when some of them freely do whatever they want towards women anyway. If you are brave enough to cheat, beat and kill, then you should be brave enough to be honest about your sexuality or date/fuck your "preference" in public.
Dating for some black women in certain areas already is shitty, now I feel like every other dude is a trans chasers or DL in general. Or has multiple kids etc.. I wish I could talk about this more, because I DO believe different women have different unique situations when it comes to navigating the world/men of their race/ethinicty. It just turns into race bait so much and nonnies are rightfully put on alarm, because they think it's a racists moid/women venting.
I just feel like the way I am, and with how pornsick & disgusting men are, I just wish they'd be honest. Let me know whose into what so I can avoid. Where I live has the most bottom of the barrel MOC & I wish I could be attracted/open to other kinds of men, but I know what I truly like. I need to move.
The Megan thee stallion thing is disturbing me to my core. It is a black issue this isn't just simply, "oh a woman being treated like shit because she's a woman"
True. The people attacking her has been the black community. Simply because she's not the perfect victim but get this, Torey isn't the perfect person either.
I'm watching today some rapper who was apart of a a criminal organization get happy responses because he got out, despite the fact the gang he was on being linked to multiple deaths of black people, but meanwhile MtS is a hoe and she lied about sleeping with Torey. So that means we need to not believe her, but a man connected to deaths of black men even if he didn't do it, oh that's okay. Whatever, free young thug! Even if people said he tried to kill someone, free Gunna. Even a confirmed killer, who rapped about the death of a underaged black boy. Was mourned when he passed. Doctor Dre beat black women, who cares.
Da baby killed a black mam and slapped a woman? Who cares.
People can look past their flaws because they like their music but MTS flaws cannot be ignored. Even if she's a pick me, I do not care.
I just feel like crying. Nobody cares about us, even other black women don't care unless we are perfect.
But will throw on a cape for a dick haver. Nonnies got mad at the person in ot who said that black female pick me-ism is different. IT IS.
You know how people look at women who thirst after serial killers? We have confirmed killers who create music or are in violent gangs who are looked up to and idolized. Yet a black woman says she's shot by a man with a violent past and she has to PROVE to us she deserves sympathy and respect. R keys biggest supporters are black women. People don't understand how much support men get in our community and how much women suffer from our brains of pick meism.
I can't describe It but I know what I see and feel.
I know the community I grew up in. It's getting worse for black women. The only community is the black male community and the women who defend them.
You have to find those who want the best for you. I feel so bad.
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Sound like a such cope(global rule #7)
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I get so tired of discourse about how other women do their hair. Literally who cares if you're natural, or if you relax, or if you wear weaves, or if you wear wigs. WHO CARES! When when black people get tired of criticizing and scrutinizing other black people for how we do our hair? You can't win either way. Just do what you like. There was a time in my life where I was so deeply insecure about my hair because of stuff like that, that I shaved it completely off. I'm glad I learned to ignore the BS and do what I please. Live and let live.
I'm neither black nor white so I'm not biased but girl, we both know this isn't true. Judging from the foreigners I've seen in my country, most white people are objectively more unattractive and look nothing like the photos you sent. They look MUCH worse than the average black foreigner in my country. I've only seen one or two obese black women in my country for example but %70 of whites I see are obese and literally a disgusting shade of red because they're sunburnt.
It's ok to be proud of your ethnicity or whatever but if you have to pick models for your race and random people with albinism(although fetishized by white supremacists, it's still a birth defect that leaves people vulnerable to skin cancer and such) for black people while arguing about attractiveness, you're probably not attractive.
Also I bet the black women with albinism you posted to mock look 100 times better than you. Even when placed next to literal models, they manage to look cute while your mug would probably look deformed when compared to models.
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>>323104>Has to wear fake hair to even compete
Cope and seethe(global rule #7)
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>>323104>random people with albinism
professional models>fetishized by white supremacists
it's joggers who spread the "whitez iz dravidian albinoz we wuz real euroz" drivel and afrikangz iz the most diverze, right?(racebaiting)
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I agree. I am so grateful for the natural hair movement and for all the education and brands that we have now. My hair is longer than it has ever been in my whole life. But looking at a lot of straight naturals on youtube, they still get a lot of hate for no reason, they all seem happy. I hate that changing something about ourselves so harmless as hair is suddenly self-hate or anti-black. smh. I still view relaxers as the devil though.>>322060
Week late, but my cousins always practised them on those doll heads. I really wish i knew how to cornrow myself, so many possibilities and doors close when you don't know how to do it as a black woman and hair dressers nowadays are getting very bougie. Ngl, i only want to know so i can fit a wig on my head lmao.
This isn't a black issue but issue for anyone who's not white/from a western culture. There used to be a lot of Germans who adopted muslim kids for example and made them eat pork and drink alcohol against the children's wishes, making a child drink alcohol alone is child abuse. Some parents are just not fit for it but a good adopter family who's willing to learn about a children's culture and such can be a good parent imo.>>327797
Is right and nonwhite kids already have a hard time getting adopted(I'm nonwhite as well) so a white family adopting a child is probably better than a child never getting adopted.
Honestly I think adoption is all around predatory and gross. A black kid never getting adopted and ending up alone in the system vs a black kid growing up in an environment where literally no one looks like them or knows what it’s like to navigate life black and what that does to the psyche early on is like being asked to pick between regular shit and diarrhea. But I’m just anti adoption as a whole especially if you look into adoptions origins and how transracial adoptions actually impacts the kids into adulthood. Spoiler it impacts them extremely negatively.
I honestly can’t imagine being forced to be raised by a white family I don’t care how well off they are personally. You’ll never truly feel included even if they do everything right because society will remind you every step of the way you are different from the time you are a kid. Hearing testimonials from transracial adoptees I just can’t condone it. Also I just don’t trust white people who take it upon themselves to adopt black children because it’s rarely black American children they are adopting they would rather wait DECADES to adopt an “African child” than a black American living in equal amounts of squalor here in the USA. They literally adopt Africans or Asians from Asia because it makes them sound like super heroes at dinner parties. It’s gross. Especially when one look into adoption you can see that there are so many black American kids who end up alone in the system anyway because white adopters would rather black children from Africa. Not only are blaxk american kids competing with white children to be adopted they are also competing with black children from Africa and Asians from Asia etc etc. it’s disgusting duck adoption!
>>327838>You’ll never truly feel included
I don't know, I feel very included. I'm not black, I'm Peruvian/Mestiza but my family is white. I live in a country full of blonde white people and my parents were very honest with me from the get go about what happened and why I look different. They didn't treat me like a circus freak or have any racist motives, they just wanted a child. If your parents aren't crazy, there's no reason why you as a child of a different ethnicity would suffer more than an orphan.
Do you have any idea how traumatizing it is to be all alone with nobody to care for you? And on top of that imagine living in a shitty orphanage where you may or may not be bullied by kids who were left there for god knows which reasons. And imagine you get really sick, and you're just a kid and can't take care of yourself. And you don't know if you will ever be happy. I have terrible abandonment issues and don't know how I will cope when my mom and dad and older siblings die, I'm so grateful to have this family because only someone lucky and privileged enough to not know otherwise would think orphans fare better on their own.
I'm the poster you're replying to, yeah I agree with you on the matter that adoption is predatory. I've literally seen white women say they'll adopt from eastern euro/asian countries so it'd be harder for the parent to try and reach out if they wanted to. White people who adopt nonwhite children sometimes have really bad intentions and government can take children away from their homes for very minor issues just for the child to get abused/traumatized/etc. much worse in the adopted family or the system.>>327839
Wtf that's evil. I've also heard of cases like that but didn't know of any that led to murder, adoption is such a dangerous industry, especially for minorities.>>327840
Fr! They'll take kids from families away because they're poor, place them with abusive
families and think they fixed an issue.
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If any of you do your own hair, get one of these mirrors.
I'm the original person who said white people should avoid adopting POC
kids. I think I should have explained better. Don't adopt any POC
kids unless you're willing to understand the culture and help that kid navigate growing up through it. And yeah, there's actually a heart breaking amount of cases where a white family adopts the black kid to be the "servant" child/treat them like a lesser and don't help them navigate life as a black child. Tbh adoption as a while is fucked and should be an absolute last resort.>>327855>I'm not black but
Respectfully, your experience in the system won't be the same as a black kids, because you weren't one. I don't think all white families adopting POC
children are ill meaning, but even the most well meaning ones just usually aren't equipped to help a black kid navigate through life as a black person. Unless they have a black friend or spouse or something around. There's a social hierarchy to race, and blacks at the very bottom. Not to be a pessimist or race bait or anything, and this doesn't mean that I feel like a lesser being because I'm black, but I'm definitely aware of the sheer amount of people who believe it and want me to believe it. The whole concept of "code switching" for example.
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I have a question for you all
>I am white, my husband is Brown (South Asian) but I have several close Black friends that I am embarrassed to bring my husband around because he identifies with Black culture
My husband loves all things Black American and for the most part it's harmless but when my Black friends are around he does not shut up about how brilliant Jordan Peele or childish Gambino is, and stuff like that. It's honestly kind of embarrassing and I'm worried my Black friends are going to hate him. It's especially annoying when he acts like being Brown in America is the same as being Black when it comes to discrimination. His brothers are the same way and I think it's because they grew up in a town with only white people.
My question is, do I need to talk to him about this or am I over thinking it? Is this a known issue that exists and has a name?
Image for attention, he is luckily no where this bad
A lot of nonwhite women believe a random white man is going to come and fix it all because white men aren't as bad(misogynistic) as men from their race, it's not true though. I don't think white men are anywhere as good as most make them out to be. Don't forget that white men have always committed the worst crimes against nonwhite women, don't you know that double eyelid surgery for asian women was literally invented and practiced without any proper painkillers by white American men because they wanted the Asian war slaves they kept to have bigger eyes? Don't you know that they still travel to third world countries to rape underage girls in disguise of sex work? That there used to be an epidemic of white single man coming to Thailand alone and leaving with a baby/kid?
Don't you know how many nonwhite women get hurt by white men and they never get their justice? Yeah black men might be bad but don't trust white men either. Men of all races are dangerous.
I agree with you, the far right weird white men are really insidious as well and I wouldn't trust one of those guys.