No. 452584
I’m fairly normal towards my friends. Sometimes I’ll ghost and not speak to them for a bit because I start eating myself alive but it’s never detrimental. We’re adults, this is what’s normal for us. I think they assume I’m just busy with work. But, my poor fiancé, he won’t get a break. I even get jealous when he’s with his family. They all run a business so…that’s a lot of the time. I don’t spend much time with my friends. I have a best friend i text daily, and the rest are just colleagues or girls from med school. I speak with my fiancé daily, constantly. I start shaking and become immensely stressed without him. I’m currently sitting in our place, unsure of what to do without him. He’s been the only man to ever treat me right, but i don’t want to make him have me as another chore to deal with. He does so much. I pick up the slack at home, of course, because he genuinely just has responsibilities outside of me and i hate it. I loathe everyone he talks to. Why can’t we be a family and constantly be connected? It’s so awful. I feel so awful. I know it’s because I have a fucked up past and don’t want to confront it. I want to say he’s wrong, that maybe he’s even cheating, when he’s not. At all. I have to keep all these nasty things to myself. They’ve slipped out a few times before and he honestly seemed very understanding, but I’m ashamed to be myself. I hate being so attached….