/g/ - girl talk

I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 35, I've been with him for almost a year now. He's a salaryman with a cat and a nice flat in the city. He's funny, patient, and sex is 50/50 (sometimes can't finish/goes limp). He's also immature, indecisive, and I caught him with incest/dog porn about 6 months in. He says he's stopped but the lack of trust is still there.

Now a guy I dated a year and a bit ago has come out of the woodwork to DM me. He's my age, son of millionaires, travels a fair bit, and personality-wise he's confident, well-educated, and cultured. However he can also be crass, arrogant, and he's got rich boy issues (went to some Hogwarts school where his caretakers abused him, for some reason now hates himself and Chinese people, black people).

Is it worth leaving my safe salaryman option for the second one? I really do love the first guy but there still is a degree of mistrust aftet the porn thing, and he's invited his ex to stay over in the guest room whilst I've been away, and he went to a hostess bar when I asked him not to. He just seems stubborn to accomodate simple requests. However option 2 is definitely more risky; he's rich so he has high standards (I'll have to get real good at jim and make-up), he's arrogant and racist (told me his tragic backstory today, feels like "I can fix him"). Sorry for the longpost I just cant think of how to shorten it(bait)

>>514708
are you serious right now? incest and dog porn and obviously cheating on you? spend some time on your own girl

>>514708
Really great post all around. I have to say my favorite part is your use of the term "salaryman" and my second favorite part is the way you spelled gym as "jim."

>>514708
What compels people to write and post fictions like this on a basketweaving form with like 15 users max

>>514744
I didn’t want to be specific and yes, I try and be funny

>>514711
>>514821
I’m sorry but it’s true

>>514969
Leave the country

>>514821
It made me laugh for one (feels like every other 'extremely true, this is real advice-seeking' post whenever I've made the mistake of browsing FDS)

>>515338
What joy do I get out of having people go "this is bait"? None. Do you think it's bait because I'm acting retarded or bait because the story is just unbelieveable?

>>515540
nta but both, personally

>>515540
It was the
>safe salaryman option
>who also is into incest and bestiality
>but i asked him to stop being a dogfucker so it's ok now!
for me. But there's so many other good details to choose from, like
>going to hostess bars
>inviting his ex to stay over when I'm away
>jim and make-up.

How does one get over the fact they they missed out on puppy love in school. I later learned my childhood crush liked me back big time but never said anything. I'm still not over his cowardice and silence. I hate that my only relationships will be with males who have been imprinted on by other women, secondhand leftovers. I'm so pure and they're so filthy. I'll never taste skin that's not rough with coarse hairs waiting to peek through right under the surface. I'll never be the first of someone who's not an autistic retard with developmental delays. All men my age (20) have already experienced many whores and countless pornhub goon sessions. I know this is a schizo ramble but I'm really going through it. I know 20 is young but for a male that's the age they turn into jaded old hookers. Their balls are saggy sacks of shit dangling between their knees by now. I don't know where to meet cutie patooties younger than me. Fuck my life man

>>515882
about to turn 21 btw so their balls are turning necrotic by the second. Like the two brownest raisins in the world

>>515882
the past is the past and the present is the glorious sexy fun present. if you like sex, love, relationships, and fun, then the skin that you're tasting in the present moment is what will make you happy. self-conscious and shallow preoccupation with what other people have done that you haven't or how you measure up to others is how you end up caring about the wrong things.
yes, a lot of men are monsters and disgusting. but there are people out there who are cool and fun and interesting in ways you never could have imagined, and you should do your best to never settle for someone who grosses you out just because your imagination is too limited to picture someone worthwhile. I think the reason that there is a weirdly high number of posts on this board by self-described manhaters who somehow end up dating 4channers who are the absolute scum of humanity is because, by telling yourself "all men my age have experienced many whores and goon to pornhub," you're actually psyopping yourself into settling for a loser by deciding that losers are the only option.
also. remind yourself that if you had the perfect puppy love experience and then broke up, you wouldn't be saying "ah well, at least I experienced that once." you'd be like, fuck, I miss when I was in a perfect relationship. the past will never be a substitute for the present!

>>515882
This sounds almost exactly like moid logic and I think you've internalized way too much moid logic/redpill propaganda if this post is even serious. Being preoccupied with men being 'ruined' or 'tainted' by other women is not normal or healthy (men being tainted by being porn addled coomers is a legitimate concern but everyone at every age deals with it, they start watching that shit at like age 8-12 so this was always going to be a problem no matter what), and also at age 20-21 it's still normal for everyone, male and female, to be virgins. Many people that age have never even dated casually let alone seriously before.

>All men my age (20) have already experienced many whores
Lol this has to be a joke. Moids do age worse than women but they hit their physical prime in their twenties, so your post comes off a bit pedophilic and sounds like the shit MRA moids say about women/girls (that girls are 'at their best' barely after hitting puberty). It kind of sounds like you've internalized messages about girls being worthless after age 16 and turned that fixation on men instead of freeing yourself from the ridiculous idea that the best time for sex and relationships is before sexual maturity. The shit about hairlessness sounds straight out of Nabokov (the other book, not Lolita but the version where she's like 9).

>I later learned my childhood crush liked me back big time but never said anything.
What's stopping you from trying to rekindle the relationship now if you still like him? If you don't, clearly you didn't miss out on anything. You can still have 'puppy love' at your current age no problem.

>>515903
>by telling yourself "all men my age have experienced many whores and goon to pornhub," you're actually psyopping yourself into settling for a loser by deciding that losers are the only option.
This is exactly what it is and whenever I read posts like this it feels like MRA/redpill incel ideology has won the culture war.

If you found a conversation on your husband/wife's computer of them talking to their ex (when they said they cut them off) while you were together, what is the expiration date on when you'd confront them?

I snooped and found a chat with their ex who they claimed they cut off when we started dating. The chat said stuff like "I'm on webcam with my gf I can't reply right now she will see", "oh you want to come over? It will have to be later because I'm on webcam with gf", "you will have to leave your cat at home and go back in the morning".
Then talks about a different chat platform where they must have talked also. From the chat she didn't come over, but she also asked if she could come over the next day.
"Stop trying to get me to leave my gf" etc

My partner really gaslit me over this chick, claiming no contact with her. Now I've found proof that there was.

But it was nearly 4 years ago and we have lived a lifetime from then with personal stuff, am I just being nuts to want some sort of answer of if she came over??

>>515919
I don’t get why you should give him the grace of time when he didn’t give you an ounce of honesty and spat on your relationship while making a fool of you? You talk when you want to, he isn’t the one who was betrayed.
It would bother me if my partner cheated on me, yesterday, tomorrow or 10 years ago, it doesn’t change. Actually the fact that he played in your face all this time should make you more pissed off.

>>515919
This is obvious cheating anon. It is never too late to call your spouse out for being a cheater. I don't understand if you found the conversations 4 years ago and never confronted 'them' (? is this a man or woman that would also help) or if you just found the chats now but feel like it's been too long since the cheating to confront your spouse but you should. This will just continue to fester. Of course there is no time limit after which you should just become okay with being cheated on.

>>515903
I fucking hate the rhetoric that only men can desire younger, better looking partners and we should just go through a humbling transformation where we learn to settle with what we have at hand. There is no "glorious sexy fun" present. I fucking hate sex. All I ever wanted was to hold hands with someone I loved. Nothing more, no smegma stick sucking, no nothing. You will not gaslight me about what I see with my own two eyes- all men my age are balls of butter dunked in shed pubes. Call me a brainwashed Nabokov pervert all you want, I can see. And no I'm not into 18 year olds either, they look too childish. The mythical "sexual peak 20 something male" doesn't exist in real life outside of fashion runways. They go straight from one type of ugly to another. I guess it's impossible for a woman who is attractive or a woman who gets male attention to understand the pain of looking good for once years ago and still not managing to find love. You can't just make up for it when you're a total ""femcel"" with no game. Its a selfish pain, it's not about him its about me. My 21st bday is weeks away and I have nothing to show for it in the terms of love - nothing ever gets better. And no I don't interact with discord 4channers, I never have in my life. All normie men goon and fuck whores even if they don't tell you about it. I'm glad you never met dads taking their sons to fuck whores for their 13th birthday present but your naivete is exhausting. I missed my one chance at something pure and you're attacking my character about it. The only point I agree with was how upsetting it would be to break up. The "culture war" has already ended by the way, women are getting kidnapped by masked police officers and tossed into unmarked vans in broad daylight. I'm not even american but it's clear as day you -we?- lost.

>>515946
I found it 3 days ago, when I snooped. I had found a message from her 3 years ago when I moved in that was recent but he fluffed it away
.
>>515941
I am very pissed off, I feel like they've played me like a fool.
He will lose his shit about snooping though. I don't know if I would believe the truth of nothing happened without seeing the whatsapp chat, assuming its still there

>>515801
It's all true and happened over the span of like a year. I caught him with the incest porn and using Reddit for like like 3 months in and figured he just didn't see me as a long-term commitment so why bother? I caught him with the dog stuff the 2nd time and I was literally crushed. I got drunk and tried to attack him. I took a week break but came back because I really missed him but I still can't not think about it, like, I'll make stupid jokes and always end up convincing him "what no sorry I didn't mean it like that I'm over it I promise". If he was shitty in any other way I'd dump him but he's too fucking nice. He helped me pay to study abroad, he doesn't care about my past trauma and shit.

I just can't imagine not being with him. Also my study abroad is almost over and he lives in the city, it'll be cheaper living with him in his flat so there's that.

>>515952
The issue of snooping is null when you found him pulling shit like this. You might be in the wrong for violating his priacy but he's in the wrong for going behind your back and lying to you about it. What's worse?

>>515950
Sure it's normal desire younger, better looking moids, unless you're on the cusp of adulthood lusting after children. It is normal to find people at their prime attractive which isn't high school age that's for sure. And moids are not even hairless in high school, they start getting hairy and growing beards in middle school.

It doesn't look like you actually want advice about relationships since it sounds like you don't want a relationship, think it would only have been worth it while you were a child and now it is over because 19-20yo adults are too walled for you. Plus if you are repulsed by male adult bodies, the idea of sex/intimacy beyond handholding, etc. can't you just have platonic friendships with women instead? You can still experience 'pure love' and non-sexual physical intimacy like handholding with women, who aren't likely to be disgusting gooners and won't repulse you with their hairiness (male AND female secondary sexual characteristic that is fairly inescapable, but men convince women to shave).
>And no I'm not into 18 year olds either, they look too childish.
You're essentially saying the only possible time for a relationship was age 19 then am I correct? I guess you missed the boat, it's over and if you'd had that brief relationship at 19 you would probably be sad about him getting old and ugly at age 20 and break up anyway so nothing of value was lost.
>You can't just make up for it when you're a total ""femcel"" with no game.
You're literally 20, an age at which easily half of young women are still kissless virgins. You can't be a femcel at age 20. It's completely normal and average to have no relationship experience at age 21.
>All normie men goon and fuck whores even if they don't tell you about it.
You definitely do surround yourself with MRA pigs and 4channers if you think that literally all men goon and fuck whores lmao. A majority of women goon, very few of them fuck whores, but it's not like them being a year or two younger would have made them any less likely to be a gooner. In fact peak gooning for many moids is in their early to mid teens. Why should any woman be 'romantically loving and holding hands' with a gooner anyway? If you believe they're all gooners you definitely shouldn't want to 'love' one.
>missed my one chance at something pure
So you're saying the one moid you liked who liked you back has admitted to using prostitutes in the intervening 2 years, or..?
>women are getting kidnapped by masked police officers and tossed into unmarked vans in broad daylight.
Huh? Where? And what does this has to do with your attitude about romance only being possible in high school even though all the high school boys are gooners who fuck whores with their dads?

>>515952
>I found it 3 days ago
Then it seems like a very appropriate time to bring it up to him. I don't know what the confrontation will actually get you though as the messages about sneaking his ex into his home when you're not there, sneaking around while he's on chat with you and then talking about the ex trying to break you up clearly point to cheating/an affair and not just 'chatting' or 'talking' (which regardless would have been a breach of trust). I don't think him getting mad about you snooping really matters when you discovered he cheated on you through your snooping. Men can only even pretend to have the right to be mad about snooping if the snooper discovers nothing.

>>515955
Just on the off chance this story is true and not the obvious bait it appears to be, get out of this situation. Run not walk, away from both men. The first one is a groomer who is into incest and bestiality and cheats on you with prostitutes while the other one is apparently a narcissistic racist you feel uncomfortable around? I hope this story is fictional like I think it is but if not, get out, you're in danger.

>>515950
>I know 20 is young but for a male that's the age they turn into jaded old hookers. Their balls are saggy sacks of shit dangling between their knees by now.
>And no I'm not into 18 year olds either, they look too childish.
being bog standard incelposting with the genders swapped, this isn't the most original bait post ever but the protagonist who is only attracted to 19 year olds specifically is really funny so I still really enjoyed this one. well done

Do you think men are actually capable of love?

>>515966
Groomer is a little much. I approached him anyways. His self-esteem is so low he said he wouldn't have made the first move. And the second guy, no he's not a narcissist and I'm not uncomfortable around him, but him being racist and kind of a jerk makes sense because he's rich (which is the huge caveat here).

>>516102
maybe but it's rare and overshadowed by other needs

>>516102
No.

Is there any realistic future with an adhd moid?

>>516187
this is such a silly question. Of course there is as long as they're medicated or going to therapy. ADHD isn't like BPD they're not going to be psychos

I don't know if its his anxiety or what but i fucking hate going out with my boyfriend. He goes silent, hardly looks me in the eye. We went out to eat- maybe the fifth time in eight months of dating- and he looked so miserable as if he would have rather been anywhere else. Not once initiating conversation.
At home, he is funny and loud and sweet and doting. I feel like i have to drag him out to go anywhere.
But he's saying he wants to get married and have a family. I can't imagine how we're going to handle all the social responsibilities that would bring if he's so miserable just being in a resturaunt. It's like I'm not even there.
Maybe he hates being seen in public with me or maybe he's just retarded

>>515882
nona i feel like youre massively overexaggerating how much game our retarded zoomer generation is getting. we're like the least social and least sexual generation ever and you can definitely find a guy whos also around 20 and a virgin lol. im pretty sure only like, 1/3 of people seriously date in highschool too

>>516299
mine is exactly like this which is weird because he's pretty well-spoken and attractive. low self esteem is like that. honeslty i still don't have a solution but my recommendation would be to just ask what's up with him, why he seems so miserable, prove him wrong if he denies it and get to the bottom of it.

>>516150
He could be your dad anyway and someone in their mid-30s dating the literal youngest possible women to make it legal seems like a predator even without the 20-15 other details you provided that confirm he is indeed a particularly bad kind of predator.
>but him being racist and kind of a jerk makes sense because he's rich
No, that does not make sense.

>>516102
Yes but only some of them. Most are not. Most probably had the potential to be adults capable of love when they were like 7yo, but once a moidlet locks into the developmental path of coomerism he never develops like a cognitively and emotionally normal human being.

>>516187
Absolutely not.
>>516281
>ADHD isn't like BPD they're not going to be psychos
Except in males, ADHD is like BPD and they are going to be psychos.

>>516299
This is a weird one anon, I would personally confront him about it and ask him why he's like that in public because maybe it is something he can easily overcome (it depends on your age too), but personally I would not stay with someone long term who was like this. My dad is like this. It is not only constantly embarrassing for my mom but it has also been constantly humiliating for me and I'm in my thirties now and it's honestly only ever gotten worse. In my dad's case I think it is undiagnosed autism but do not 'plan a life' with someone who can't do things normally or talk to people in public, they will dump every single responsibility on you and any children you have and adultify them. If he's like that at restaurants he will also probably be like that when he needs to call about the gas bill, go with you to the doctor, deal with a plumber coming by, etc.

>>516362
Mine is as well- very capable, very attractive and well spoken. He's literally a manager. Which makes me wonder if he slips into this other role or something when in the public sphere.

>>516366
I see what you're saying, but like I said above he's perfectly capable of communicating with people. He does it for a living. When we're at home, great banter and conversation. Today at the resturaunt, pulling teeth to get a reaction.
He did say initially that he's a homebody and he doesn't like travelling or going out every weekend. Which is fine but I'd like to have fun with him outside every once in a blue moon. I want shared life experiences with my "life partner".

I talked with him a few minutes ago. Explained how i perceived his behavior. He could only say "i don't know."

I have a lovely and kind bf who treats me like I'm his whole world, but I'm missing my piece of shit ex bc he was honestly the prettiest man I've ever seen. My bf is handsome too, but he isn't nearly as pretty. How to I stop myself from ruining my relationship bc of this.

>>516399
Either he's autistic and has no idea or he just really doesn't want to be outside with you. I've been in a similar position in the past (ex would shut down doing activities I wanted to do but came to life if he did what he wanted to do). Men are aware of why they do things they just don't tell you.
Does he only do this at restaurants, or is it during any other outings as well?

>>516399
UGH he says the same fucking thing "I don't know" of course you fucking know stop making me dig into you to find out why. Yeah, yours is a manager, mine is an accountant; maybe this is some kind of outlet for them? They can't act like stroppy teenage boys at work so they do it when they're out with us. They just wanna stay at home and play vidya like FUCK OFF.

I totally relate to your frustration. We went to a nice bar and were in a pretty quiet corner but he was still mopey and quiet most of the night.

>>516411
Any photos of him, any socials, old convos, delete. Go cold turkey. Trust me, you'll forget his face soon enough.

>>516399
Be that as it may, if he isn't able to be normal and sociable in social situations with you, it doesn't matter how good he is at being a manager at his job. In your relationship he is refusing to act normal when you go out in public, making you embarrassed and unhappy. You're not his boss, you're his girlfriend.

>He could only say "i don't know."
Yeah something is clearly wrong here. IF he had a real reason he would be eager to explain it. This is a huge red flag imo, being a homebody doesn't mean you turn into a socially retarded autist every time you go outside and I'm sure he knows that too. So like you said before either he is embarrassed to be out with you or there is some other reason why he is like this but he doesn't want to fix it because he won't even explain to you why it's happening. If he is socially adept when he's not out with you I'd assume that this is his way of taking something out on you, maybe showing dissatisfaction that you expect him to go outside.

>>516411
Block and stay safe

>>516411
>I'm missing my piece of shit ex bc he was honestly the prettiest man I've ever seen.
Men like that behave like that cause we let them
He's rosterdating another group of simps, guaranteed

>>516411
The knowledge that your piece of shit ex will age and all that will be left of him is an ugly personality and an ugly face

>>516533
He isn't, or at least wasn't for the last two years after we broke up. According to mutual friends he was still hung up on me. I've cut those friends out of my life too so I dont know how he is doing anymore though.
>>516424
Its almost been 3 years since I last saw him and I can just as vividly recall his face as if it was yesterday.
>>516536
I suppose this is the answer. His dad aged like shit so I guess he will too.

>>516560
Why did you break up with him nonna? If he's such a one in a hundred beauty why can't he get gfs when you've already moved on?

>>516613
He is violent, drug addicted and insecure. He could easily get a gf if he wanted to, keeping them is the issue. Beautiful people can be mentally ill too you know.

>>516633
So every time you are tempted to think about how good he looked remember this. Having a nice person to look at is nice if they're not violent drug addicts, but was it worth it? You said your current bf is attractive too. Just stop looking at old pictures or social media of your anger issues ex scrote and think about how much better your life is now you don't have to be constantly on the edge because of violence. If you want a pretty face to look at you can watch some TV or get a female friend.

>>516633
He's gonna look like a zombie in a couple of years. Be happy you got to enjoy him before he prematurely drove himself into the wall.

my girlfriend said some lame/shitty things to me a month or so back, and while we have discussed it and she has apologized, i really am having a hard time finding her attractive or wanting to be around her. logically i like her and accept her apology, but something in my gut is making me so uncomfortable. she didnt even do anything that shitty but some switch just flipped in my brain or something. Im not sure what i should do about it

>>516835
Can you be more specific about what the 'lame and shitty' things are? It sounds like you 'got the ick' so to speak and from my own personal experience, once that happens it's really hard to come back from it and find the person attractive again, but I also think it sort of depends on what types of things she said. If they were just some criticisms of your behavior that were unpleasant to hear or felt unfair to you, it might be something worth considering and talking through, but if it was something unreasonable or 'negging' I think it can be a bad sign moving forward. At the end of the day though if it was a month ago and a switch flipped in your brain, it might just be that the relationship is over regardless.

>>513787
My last ex had unmedicated ADHD. I didn’t see the full effects of it at first, because after we met we were in different countries, and he seemed to live a full and interesting life. Then he came back to my country. I’ve never had such whiplash in thinking that I knew somebody:
I came to realise that he was so detached from the real world that I became so tired of telling him ‘no’. No, we can’t just hire a boat and sail down my city’s major river. No, we wouldn’t be able to eventually get married in my city’s most famous landmark. He was unable to do basic chores to the extent that I thought he might be retarded. On the other hand, if it was weaponised incompetence, he came across as so incompetent I lost all attraction to him. He was a master of lovebombing, which initially distracted me from the fact that he had no respect for the fact that I had to work full time and didn’t have the time or energy to cater to his every whim. I was like a shell of myself.
I waited for him to go back to his home country to break up with him. He flipped and sent endless emotionally manipulative messages and voicenotes. I asked for space, which he didn’t respect, and so I blocked him and then he started messaging my family members. According to the latest update from his social media from a friend several months later, he thinks I was cheating on him. They live on their own fucking planet. They don’t see others as complete people, but caricatures of themselves who are good (enabling) or bad (emotionally resilient; self-preserving).
When we got together, this thread was active: >>>/g/381978. Nonas talk about their experience with ADHD moids in it. I wish I'd paid more attention to it.

>>516914
I'm the anon who previously said that dating ADHD moids isn't worth it and this is exactly why (full disclosure I never dated one, but some of my friends have). If you look at typical dating advice forums, even kind of retarded ones like FDS, one of the useful takeaways is 'never date a moid who doesn't actively make your life better than it was when you were single (outside of sex). A lot of women are kind of bad about this because we've been primed from childhood to think that life with 'romance' or a partner is automatically better, but whenever I see a woman in some early relationship stage asking 'ladies, is it worth it to date (X type of man with massive neon red flag above head)' I just automatically think 'no, if you have to ask it isn't.'

The best case with an ADHD moid is that he is self-dx'd retard making excuses for why he can't complete any tasks or goals in school or work. The middle case is he's a semi-normal moid who has talked a therapist into a diagnosis and is going to be an amphetamine addict for the rest of his life as a result. The worst case is that he actually has ADHD, which is a neurodevelopmental disorder that means he's literally been brain damaged in some way from birth, and while neurodivergent women frequently manage to rise above that with self-discipline and empathy for other people, neurodivergent men basically don't, ever. They will never 'get you,' they will act deranged and use their diagnosis as an excuse for lacking ambition and life skills, they will pity themselves when you expect them to rise above their neurological issues the way most women with ADHD/autism are expected to. The other really horrible thing about ADHD moids (highlighted in that thread) is they will be the most porn-addicted coomers alive, 10 times worse than regular coomer men. The only instance in which it makes sense to date an ADHD moid is if you dated him for a year or more before even finding out he has ADHD, he seems normal and together in every way and you just found out he has ADHD by accident. Otherwise literally why would you add that kind of chaos to your life when even mentally 'normal' men are on average so awful to date?

>>516918
I'm the anon you're replying to and couldn't agree more. My ex came along when I was feeling ready to say 'yes' to everything because life had felt quiet for a year and it seemed like a partner was the only thing 'missing'. The fact that he wasn’t from my country was exciting, and he seemed to have a lot of ambition which – in the longterm – would have opened up opportunities for me also. It was only when he was here that I realised I had replaced all his other future plans and he put his education on hold to become a neet hobo in my country.
In hindsight, my life was complete. Steady job, own living space, good friends, hobbies. I’ve done so much reflection since he left, journaled until I can’t anymore, and opened up to friends about the shame I feel for missing the red flags. What comforts me is that I’m invested in my personal growth, whereas I know that he’s still blaming me for everything going wrong and looking for the perfect sex-mother. Whereas I'm content to just get laid every once in a while lmao.
Also I've just realised I completely fucked up replying to >>516187 so I hope she sees all this.

>>516929
>>516914
>>516366
Thank you kind anons, I figured it would be a bad idea. I also think it's not just adhd but also some co-morbidity of a personality disorder going on although I can't tell if the "being affectionate and then go directly to ignoring" is just an adhd trait or something else but this moid is already medicated and he is still showing plenty red flags despite at first treating me really well. Naturally I was hoping it would go back to that state at some point but reading your experiences here I have abandoned all hope. Seems like all they are good for is a situationship and to dump them right after if one is lucky enough not to catch feelings..

>>516929
This isn't the same thing but I have had a close female friend for the last 18 or so years who has ADHD and despite being more tolerable due to being a female friend, I relate to the 'seemed to have a lot of ambition which… would have opened up opportunities for me.' My female ADHD friend was constantly pitching projects to me which sounded ambitious and vaguely aligned with my pre-existing career/hobby goals and I kept pouring effort and energy into making them happen while she would eventually drop them and get defensive about the fact I was still talking about them. I can't imagine how much worse it would be with a moid who lacks the empathy and theory of mind to even realize that he is putting your life on hold for his fleeting, fake ambitions about 'projects' he will never commit to; at least my female ADHD friend felt sorry when she dropped the ball and actively apologized for stringing me along.

>I had replaced all his other future plans and he put his education on hold to become a neet hobo in my country.
This is such a common story from my friends who have dated ADHD moids it's not even funny. It's like they can only focus on one thing at a time so if they seem to be focusing on your relationship you can bet the futures of your unborn grandchildren on the fact he is definitely letting every other aspect of his life lapse and depending on him to bail you out if he's acting attentive to you. I had extremely accomplished, educated, together female friends lose months or years of their lives to these moids who tried to monopolize their energy only to then drop it on them they had no future plans outside of 'depending on the relationship for future happiness.' And like you're saying these were women with their own homes, friends, hobbies, good careers.

>>516933
>medicated and he is still showing plenty red flags
Could be comorbidities, could be that the ADHD diagnosis is a convenient cover for a cluster B personality disorder too. A man going straight from extremely affectionate directly to ignoring sounds kind of par for the course for ADHD (not caring unless something is the most amusing thing right in front of them) but it could also be something like BPD or NPD too. If he's already medicated and still treating you like this it's highly unlikely it's ever going to get better. No matter how high the highs are early in a relationship with a moid, if the lows are low it's not worth it dragging yourself into that mess and trying to fix him. Genuinely, it's better to live a single life and be stable or even fuck with some dramatic but fleeting situationships than put yourself in a long term situation with a moid who will drag you onto the roller coaster of hell. It might seem fun and appealing at first to feel those high highs and low lows but it gets really exhausting really quickly. Any moid worth letting into your life in a long term way will never ever make you feel those low lows, make you feel ignored, etc. Any moid worth being in your life long term will make your day to day life better and less tumultuous.