>>513610Raven's diatribe choked my text editor, and the edits I made in this section did not save. Here is the corrected version:
Ooo, it's like four o'clock in the morning, and I'm here making this video again. I'm really sorry if you guys caught my first round. I rewatched it a couple of times. It's been so long since I've like made a proper video. I was trying to rush all the information out there assuming everybody knew everything that was going on. And when I rewatched it, to me it didn't actually make a whole lot of sense. I felt like I left huge chunks out. And this video is going to be the last video that's up. So people that know me and people that don't know me, this is the information they're gonna be left with, and so it needs to be as exact and full as possible. I know I look really tired, and it's just because I haven't been sleeping lately and my insomnia has kicked in again. So excuse me ahead of time. That's not stress, that's just days and days of no sleep. Um anyway, so I'm gonna try to make this a little bit easier to understand, and I'm gonna leave out the background music. I tried to make a proper video like everybody else and have nice background music. And to me it's always really distracting because the background music overrides your voice, and it just it's hard to focus on one or the other. And I just wasn't happy with the video as a whole, so I'm gonna try again. Please bear with me. I am really sorry I have to put you through this again.
So, starting from the start: I am leaving social media. I have left social media. I have not been online for about two to three weeks now. I do not have any other profiles. I do not have any other pages. I don't have anything open at the moment. I do not plan on having anything open for the foreseeable future. I've got no desire to be back online. I've actually been having a really good time being offline. Holy shit, I look tired. And as far as I know, I'm gonna stay offline. Josh and I are both offline. We're both intending to stay offline.
Starting from the start, from the start start start, for those of you who don't know because I've removed most of my videos, I have been stalked and harassed and hassled and bullied and everything else by a few hate sites online called Kiwi Farms and lolcow. And then there are, of course, individual people that are either from the site or not from the site, but they do the same thing. Now, these people have all targeted me. They targeted me about seven years ago. And I don't know what it is that brought me under their radar. Something did, and I have not been able to escape them since. I didn't know that they existed at first. I only found out years later, when I was with my previous husband, that these sites even existed and that I was apparently very, very popular on them. I've gone through periods in my life where I wasn't necessarily a great person or a nice person or even a respectable person. You know, as we all do we grow and we learn and we change. And I've gone through many, many stages of growth in my life. And I've tried to listen to what they had said about me and use it to improve myself, improve my life. I try to take the positive out of all the negative. It didn't make a difference. Nothing that I did mattered. Nothing I did changed anything. They just kept on with the same old stuff, or they turned it around.
They said I was basically too fat to be alive because in New Zealand I'd gained a whole bunch of weight. I got weight-loss surgery, but apparently I'm undeserving of weight-loss surgery and I'm still a fat fuck and I'm disgusting. I'm old, I'm too old to look the way I do, dress the way I dress. But others are. It's apparently okay for them. Although I really think that they've got issues with gothic people in general because they, like, mock every goth person out there except for Adora Batbrat. They seem to love her, unless I'm missing something. But everybody else they can't stand.
And they didn't like my relationship with my son who is 23 years old and who was old enough to know better and to make the right decisions in life and to maybe not be so selfish. But he will not take responsibility for anything that he has done and instead has joined their ranks and has turned on me and also lied his little butt off with the help of the little girl that he is seeing.
They have called me a pedophile because my ex-husband was 19 years younger than me. Now, I am as of the date of this video, I'm 41 years old. I'll be 42 in [she counts] May, June…I'll be 42 in 4 months. And I have always had an attraction for people younger than me. I'm not a pedophile. I've never been a pedophile. There's no sexual fetish there. It's nothing sexual at all. I just, I've never felt my age for whatever reason, and I've always gotten along better with those that are younger than me. Some people like people older, some people like people younger. It's just a matter of taste. I've dated people my age, I've dated people older, and I've dated people younger, and I've just always gotten along better with the younger ones. Now, my relationship with him was very odd as far as the numbers and the ages went. And I tried to be understanding and say, oh I, I can see why people would have a hard time with it. But the fact is I've been out of that relationship for almost a year. I've left New Zealand, I've moved back to America, and I'm in a new relationship with somebody who is almost 32 years old. And I still get hassled and called a pedophile and a predator and all this other stuff. The proper definition for pedophilia is someone who has a sexual attraction for somebody who is prepubescent, and I have never been into children. Liking somebody younger than you does not mean that you are a pedophile. And I have taken the blame for that for our whole relationship, almost six years together, and I'm still taking the blame for it even now, even though I'm no longer in that relationship. So that has been an area of stress for me over the years, many many many years.
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