I'm 24 years old, a transexual "woman" (passable, but not pretty), an insufferable mentally ill asshole who is terminally online.
I have panic attacks at the drop of a hat, I hurt myself physically and threaten or attempt suicide over things as small as a losing streak in a video game, or someone online saying I don't pass.
My boyfriend loves me for some reason so I continue living for his sake, but I really don't deserve it and I feel sorry for him by existing.
I'm a disgusting freak, no one other than him likes me, I just had to quit my job due to my Tourettes effecting my ability to work. I contribute nothing and do nothing but go online and sperg out everyday and make it my bf's responsibility to calm me down.
I want to be liked but as the copypasta goes, all the validation I get is two faced and half hearted.
I check here and KF regularly (with dread) to see if there's a thread made on me. To me, it feels inevitable. I'm thankful that there hasn't been but I don't expect it to last.
What should I do to self sabotage? (Inb4 you already have) Kill myself on livestream? Doxx myself? Run naked through the streets? Jump off a building?Post too long. Click here to view the full text.(Retard)