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No. 2507010
Discuss all topics pertaining to ADHD, ADD, or ASD experiences as a woman here.
Talk about the difficulty of diagnosis as a woman, the struggles that accompany ADHD/ADD/ASD, or share strategies that you developed to help cope with your diagnosis. Share your advice to cope with your issues related to your ADHD/ADD/ASD.
Or even discuss your thoughts on how recent attention to ASD/ADD/ADHD on social media affects those really afflicted.
Previous threads:
#6:
>>>/ot/2346005 #5:
>>>/ot/2022269#4:
>>>/ot/1687145#3:
>>>/ot/1438835#2:
>>>/ot/1198440#1:
>>>/ot/586560Anons with ADHD, ADD, & ASD should all be best friends. There is much strength to be gained through unity. The spergs need the ADHD crowd to tell them when they're being retarded, and anons need spergs to tell them when they need to focus. We unanimously refuse the balkanization of this thread. Our resolve is represented through the choice of thread picture.
No. 2507186
>>2507073Same. I usually don’t feel all that lonely until I go out to socialise and I run into something that feels like an invisible wall between me and other people. The more I run into it, the more it hurts, and the more likely I am to go back to isolating myself. Then after a few months of that I forget about the wall and go out there again, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, certain that it will be different
this time and I’ll be sure to have a good time
this time, only to run head-first into the wall again. I’ve had CBT from a social anxiety specialist (who admitted she knew nothing about ASD) which only ended up making me feel worse in the long run because even when I’m at my most optimistic and confident, other people didn’t get the same script and still treat me the same way they always do.
Anyway, I’m wondering if anyone has some advice on how to deal with it when people are rude to you. For example, one thing that happens very often is when I’m talking to someone and a little circle of people forms, and then someone steps in front of me and cuts me out of the circle. Often they knock into me with their bag or even step on my toes. Usually when I say “hey, excuse me” or something along those lines, they just ignore me, and I don’t want to start shouting or physically shove myself back into the circle because that would be rude too. So I take that as my cue to leave.
Another common thing is that people start loudly talking over me when I’m talking. I used to think this was a sign I was going on too long, but they even do this when I’m only on my first or second sentence. If I stop talking to let them finish I never get another chance of getting a word in, and if I raise my voice (because maybe I was talking too quietly and they didn’t realise I was talking already?) they raise their voice too to continue talking over me. Again, I don’t like shouting, so this is my cue to shut up. The worst is when they start talking about me in third person like I’m not there, but fortunately that doesn’t happen very often. Usually they just act like they never noticed me there in the first place.
On one occasion a coworker sat down on my very small desk while I was trying to work and knocked over my (fortunately empty) coffee cup onto my keyboard. She didn’t apologise and no one else in there room acknowledged that anything happened either even though they all saw. When I told her to find somewhere else to sit everyone just laughed and she didn’t move, so I grabbed my laptop and went to work in the hallway.
We never covered any of this in social skills training. Instead we focused on recognising basic expressions on cartoon faces and learning how to be less of a nuisance. The assumption was always that if there’s some conflict between an autistic person and another person, it’s the autistic person’s fault for being socially awkward. So the only conflict resolution we ever learned was how to apologise, never how to effectively stand up for ourselves. Has anyone ITT ever had something like assertiveness training? Did that help?
No. 2508454
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>>2508405I finally found this
No. 2508734
>>2508463Yeah
Can you just titrate the dose yourself? What are you taking?
No. 2508743
>>2508454This is absolutely beautiful
>So I turned to a group that was hated by my original community, that is, the NarutardsKekkk
No. 2509076
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>>2509069The cover art is so intense and serious. I guess they have their own religion too? Kek
No. 2510311
>>2510305>A therapist told me to practice recognizing "small" feelings like contentment when you eat a food you like, but it didn't help me that much. I also started keeping track of my mood each day (good, neutral, or bad) to force myself to think about it more. I think maybe it helps a little.I try to journal regularly and this is along the lines of what I have mostly tried. It's not really working for me either.
>Normally, I can only tell my emotions because of how they physically manifest. Like I know what happiness feels like in a somatic sense more than an emotional sense.I will try to do this maybe then. Focus more on behavior and physical aspects. Thank you. I already recognize some stress behaviors but will focus in on what I am doing.
No. 2510414
>>2510302Keep a journal (can be digital in your phone) of every time you do recognize a feeling. Write down what you think caused it like "happy - favorite team won, new anime episode dropped, ordered a book i've been eyeing for a while, had a nice dinner". Think about and write down anything else you feel too like "energized, comfy, sleepy, full, bored".
Eventually you should see patterns like "I tend to feel happy after eating food I like, but it also makes me sleepy. I'm also happy after buying things online, that gives me energy and I get more active to go out". It forces you to think about your actions, your mood, and how they connect. The connections you make like "food = happy + sleepy" makes your brain create neurological pathways so you remember it easier, which in turn makes it easier and easier to identify how you feel based on your "data".
No. 2510496
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>>2507186Made me realize why I hate all the recommendations on adaptations for autists.
You ARE a nuisance to them, all they want is for you to disappear. Make yourself smaller, less auspicious. Autistic ""help"" is entirely focused on how to resign in appealing to normies.
It completely ignores autists own needs and mental health. You are not allowed to be, en principle. They don't care that constantly pretending and playing by their rules is hurtful to you and breeds self hatred, anxiety and depression. All the complaints on your own feeling of alienation are completely ignored, it only matters insofar as it bothers other people.
I reality contrary to normalfaggot advice, being brash, principled and unapologeticly You, instead of adapting to gay ballistic patterns, will lead you to net higher benefit. You will never be truly part of their community anyways, but being confident and not giving a fuck will force them to SEE you and reconcile with your existence.You will start to occupy [space]. Which is when you can actually heal and start to feel human. Being a pushover is literally the worst possible advice you can give any person but for some reason it's OK to tell that to an autist and then flap your eyes like you are innocent. It's all unironically malice and those people are not on your side.
No. 2510564
>>2510496Kek kinda this. I noticed when I was a pushover at work and helped everyone nobody actually liked me or respected me. Now when I openly say "no" to things and simply don't let people tell me what to do and do my own thing anyway, people still don't like me but they don't make attempts at pushing me anymore. They simply backed off. 3 years ago I was basically scared of saying "no" at work because I thought something bad was going to happed or I will be fired, but I stayed because I was a good employee and I got an idefinite period contract and after that I gradually gained more confidence. Then when I started pointing out double standards and hypocrisy (how some people are allowed to slack off but not me etc. despite working slower than me) and openly talking about bullying I experienced from one of the coworkers, I got pushback from many people from my work and they openly started to show they don't like me, talked behind my back, said I faked illness when I was literally post surgery, or how my tone is "rude" when I say something kek. But I stayed anyway and continued to do my shit and say what I think and refuse to do their job for them. Now they simply backed off, they still don't like me, but nobody even tries to get in my way or simply tell me what to do because they know I won't let them. I won't finish someone's work for them because they decided to have a chit chat for 30 minutes instead of working, I won't do a certain thing they asked me to do because I know that it is not an established rule to do this certain thing and I will not do it until it is established during a meeting as a new rule etc. I refused to come to work extra on sunday too when my shift leader told me "they have nobody else to plan but me" and I was like sorry but you have 10 different people besides me, and I took vacation for monday and tuesday and I have a long weekend with activities planned for those 4 days, so it's not happening. So she let go. Back in the day I would simply agree for this shit kek. I was the only person who refused to give money for manager's wedding present because I said it's ridiculous to pressure employees to give money to someone who earns more than them and is basically a stranger and I refused to do a bunch of other retarded stuff I had "peer pressure" to do. I love to see the buffering visible on their faces when you simply say no to them.
No. 2510658
>>2510496It's not that all adaptations are bad for autists, it's that normies think normie advice works for autists when it doesn't. It's like
>>2510411 said just speaking your honest mind gets you labelled with a disorder. Similarly to what you're saying I swear by just being yourself and accept that you're generally always going to be the quirky one. That gets you the furthest in life. When you apologize basically just for existing people see you as weak, but when you just walk in like you own the place people think you know what you're doing so they just accept it.
It sounds retarded, but following quirky successful celebs helps you see it. Lady Gaga gets to wear a dress made of literal meat and still be famous and beloved so why can't you be a bit quirky too? Most of us aren't even
that weird in comparison to what celebs do!
No. 2510731
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>>2510722I was literally about to post about this non, i started concerta 18mg. I’ve been taking it in the morning and eating protein. It just doesn’t work other than the morning. I’m an autist too so maybe that adds to it. But strattera worked way better than this, probably because it’s 24hr. I don’t know if i need a more intense stimulant or if I should just go back to strattera.
No. 2510761
>>2510754Bro you're just not trying hard enough to be normal bro try more not having those thoughts and going out and liking people more bro (
yes I'm just parroting that anon from the previous thread)
No. 2510783
>>2510770>Maybe, just maybe, they're not "trying" and just happen to actually be on the more normal side of the spectrum than you? Maybe, but those types usually shame the giga autists and thats my problem with them. They put us amd our symptoms down to get NT approval
>What's even your problem, that other autists aren't autistic enough for you to hang out with them? That they're accepted by other people and you're not?Yeah? I think thats a pretty undesrtandable and human feeling to have. Normal people will never understand or like me due to how fucked up I am, I thinks that a pretty reasonable cause for envy and mental anguish
No. 2510848
>>2510305This is what I was taught too, mostly in the context of anxiety. They told me to try to identify my body’s reactions (increased heartbeat, sweating, being jittery) and try to contextualise those. This doesn’t work as well for other emotions though because those mostly express in the same way for me; insomnia, irritability and/or crying. I also cry when I’m overwhelmed. For ages I just thought I was sad constantly because I cried so much. I was in my twenties before I learned that crying doesn’t always = sad, it can be caused by other things, too. Blew my mind.
>>2510496Ayrt and I kind of agree. I understand why some behavioural concessions are necessary for a functioning society etc. but the problem is that this isn’t applied equally; I’m always the one making all the concessions. I’m the one always staying quiet so others can speak and removing myself to make space for other people. And the other anons are right that this does not endear me to people even though I’ve been taught it should. Instead people treat me like a nuisance anyway, and respect me even less. One woman literally got annoyed with me when she stepped on my foot because it startled her that SHE stepped on MY foot and I should have prevented that from happening somehow, even though she’s the one who walked up and decided to try and occupy the same space I was already standing in. What was I supposed to do, dematerialise? I can make myself as small as physically possible and people still get annoyed with me for existing at all.
The main problem with the social skills training I got is that it was clearly developed for stereotypical male autists who need to be taught basic consideration for others and not girls who’ve received the full brunt of female socialisation from birth. It was basically female socialisation on steroids. Be quiet, make yourself small, always be the first to apologise even when it wasn’t really your fault (“it shows goodwill!”), always take the blame, believe others’ version of events over your own because your own perception can’t be trusted. It probably messed me up more than I already was, and it feels like I have a big flashing sign on my back that attracts people with bullying tendencies like chum attracts sharks.
Which brings me back to my original question: has anyone here done something like assertiveness training and was it helpful? I struggle to stand up for myself at all, and when I do I struggle to control my emotions. I cry when I’m angry which just makes me look hysterical and like I’m overreacting. I really want to learn how to stay calm while standing my ground.
No. 2510851
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Why Yes I'm still going to make OCs for the lion king in my late 20s (and a bunch of other OCs for various anime)
As a kid I loved this Disney magazine they published monthly for kids, I don't remember the name of it, but it had a bunch of funfacts about real animals and some short comic book stories, I only cared about those with the Lion King where they made new original lion cub characters like Malka, Tama, Chumvi, Kula and Tojo. Malka was cute and I had a crush on him. He was a total chad and rizzed Nala in front of Simba the first time they met kek
I wish the new Lion King cartoon just used those characters instead of the shitty new ones
No. 2510863
>>2510819Nice, but you're being a bit too broad though I think. "Society needs to treat me better" sound good for everyone, but can you give concrete suggestions for how they would do and implement this? Because most people would probably say they are really trying to be kind and accepting and it's hard to do anything except go "yeah let's all be nicer" but then nothing happens because that doesn't come with clear directions, you know what I mean?
If you narrow it down, what are some changes you want in your own life specifically? Like would you like a stable friend group, a nearby horse back riding club to hang out in, a fun dream job, and so on?
No. 2510881
>>2510848>One woman literally got annoyed with me when she stepped on my foot because it startled her that SHE stepped on MY footFucking nerve. She was either a deranged narc or she did it on purpose to belittle you. A total cunt anyway. Idk if it's partly age related but I used to be so meek, then I got in a fight with a literal pedo moid and the confidence boost in knowing I was in the right hasn't left me since, I now enjoy fighting people lmao. I would have enjoyed challenging her in public, making sure everyone in there knows she was being a total cunt by loudly repeating "so YOU stepped on my foot, and you want ME to apologize to you?" with my perfectly practiced face of calm concern. I'm enough of an obvious autist that people can tell so she'd be caught publicly bullying a tard. I had no idea my ability to look emotionless and monotone would come in so handy, I can be raging or want to cry on the inside but look perfectly fine and calm on the outside making people pick my side because the other is raging out on me while I'm the calm reasonable one.
>has anyone here done something like assertiveness training and was it helpful?No, but I think it would be. Accidentally training myself to fight the pedo made me grow so much as a person and my confidence is so much higher! I think you should go for it!
No. 2510893
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>>2510864I fucking despise furries! When I was a kid I had innocent crushes like teenage Simba or Disney fox Robin Hood, but I never fantasized about having sex with them or something. And sure when I made my lion OCs eventually they also had love interests and some had kids, but I never thought about sex between them and I was focused more on the adventures and drama and I just liked coming up with new designs. Overall I always loved the art style for animals in Disney (especially in TLK, Bambi, the Fox and the Hound, Lady and Trump and 101 Dalmatians), I follow Aaron Blaise on his youtube art channel and love James Baxter's work. I just find their animal designs really comfy. I never cared for Disney movies about humans and only watched them as an older teenager and the only one I actually like is the Hunchback of Notre Dame (pure kino). TLK was also probably the first VHS tape and full soundtrack on CD I owned as a kid and my first fixation I remember, and something that actively made me think about pursuing art and animation when I grow up. I also loved Dreamworks' Spirit because I was a horse girl, but that came later. I really wish Disney had some horse relatded movie in their golden or renaissance era. The only prominent 2D horses they made were Pegasuses in Hercules and in Fantasia which were so cute. There was also mrs. Frou Frou in Artistocats but who cares about her
I don't even like the look of anthropomorphic animals tbh and I don't see the appeal
No. 2510912
>>2510863>Nice, but you're being a bit too broad though I think.I thought that I was being pretty concrete but whatever. I have no problem explaining my vision of the world that Id be actually comfortable in so here we go. First of all, neurotypicals have a tendency to accuse us (mentals) of "using our disability as an excuse" and what I want for them to get into their heads is that sometimes it is very much an excuse or at least a reason to be softer on the said mentally disabled person. You cant hold someone who is incapable of experiencing empathy or understanding social cues to the same standarts you hold a normal person to, and it goes for all mental ilness (even those that I personally find hard to deal with like schizophrenia or adhd). My main problem with "normal" assimilationist autist is that by declaring that were the same as neurotypicals they are forcing us in the same box as NTs. In my ideal society mentals and drug addicts would receive more support and your average person would make more of an effort to understand and symphatize with us by taking our differences into consideration when makimg harsh judgements about us. The psychiatrict system would too be reformed, mentally ill people should be given as much freedom as it is safe for them, instititions should prioritize the individuality of their patients at all cost. I also want people (even the NTs) to be socially encouraged to participiate in "weird" but harmless fun, like climbing things, parkouring or jumping around, drawing or grafitying on public property without causing any damage, roleplaying or playing with toys (if they want to), collecting radom "cringe" objects, I want people to sculpt weird stuff, write unconventional books, I want people to draw and sew, I want professions like blacksmithing to be relevant once again simply because someone passionate enough decided so. I want people to dress and do makeup howveer they want no matter how shitty it looks, I want a free society that encourages creativity and having fun. I want a world that prioritizes change and reformation, especially for addicts and criminals, and even if reformation is impossible I still want everyone to be treated with compassion. Unfortunately I have no idea how to implement this, my vision of the world is practically an utopia, so I will probably remain miserable and misunderstood forever.
No. 2510916
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>>2508405>>2509069Don't forget Balto. Without it we wouldn't have kino like Kay Fedewa and her Black Blood Alliance on deviantart. Still not as big as the TLK OC scene I think but also spawned quite a lot of autism
For me another big one was the tv series for Watership Down… I think it was from late 90s but in my country they were airing it on tv around 2004 I think
No. 2510949
>>2510881I’ll strive to achieve your level one day nonna, that sounds great. Screw that creep.
Unfortunately I appear the opposite of emotionless and monotone when I’m upset, my tear ducts are like faucets that open up as soon as I’m upset in any way. So even if I’m objectively in the right I’ll always look like an overreacting weirdo. Plus my first instinct is always to blame myself and assume I’m in the wrong or must have misunderstood something, and it takes me at least a few seconds (often much longer) to properly analyse the situation and realise I wasn’t in the wrong. Apologising and running away is more like a reflex for me than a conscious act and that makes it even more difficult to then turn around and go “actually I’m NOT sorry” lmao. Pretty sure that returning minutes later to call someone out would make me look even more unhinged.
One time at work I was supposed to deliver a message and when I met the recipient in the hallway she said “I don’t know what you’re talking about, you must be mistaking me for someone else” and I was mortified, but when I checked with other coworkers they verified it was the right person and that I said the right thing and they had no idea why she’d respond like that. But I’d already agreed and apologised for the ‘mistake’. I hate that I’m like this.
>I think you should go for it!Thanks! I wish I knew where to find something like this, though. Everything I can find along these lines is for children and teenagers, not adults. Maybe I should look for some kind of self defence training?
>>2510933This happens to me too but
only when I’m joking. When I’m genuinely recalling an experience people will raise their eyebrows sceptically or roll their eyes but when I say the most ridiculous shit as an obvious joke they take me 100% seriously.
No. 2510951
>>2510940>there were dinosaur aliensHoly shit whaaaaat
I only saw the original and the sequel in which Littlefoot finds his father (what the fuck) and it turns out the father also raised some other little dinosaur that wasn't his biological son and that small dinosaur gets jealous of Littlefoot and the attention he gets from his long lost dad. For some reason I loved the themes of jealousy between characters and when one character was suffering because of it kek
No. 2510963
>>2510929>You've said you're jealous of both normie and high(er) functioning autists, but then what is it you want from them more exactly? Not just like "more compassion" or "to understand me".I want to be accepted and not judged or ostracized, I want to be free to talk about what I do forfun even if its "strange" or "creepy", like infodumping about diseases and bodily fluids (my special intetests). Itd also be neat to not be met with bewilderment when I talk about my philosophy or how I see the world.
>Do you want friendships and relationships with them, and if so what activities is it you want to perform that you can't do now? Or would you want them to leave you alone?Kind of both. I do occasionally feel urges to participiate in normal person stuff like going to the cinema with friends or hanging out in a public space, both of those are nearly impossible for me to perform as normal people woild be embarrassed to be around me because of my unkempt looks and tendency to stim whenever I get even slightly emotional (jumping or running around in circles, clicking my tongue, banging my arm on my head, making repetitive noises or pnrases) I guess I just want friends who are okay with this stuff but thats like a wet dream because everyonr is so tolerant of disabled people until they actually meet one pf them in real life.
>You say want a creative society, does that mean you like to be creative and do some kind of art and doing that would make you happy? I have a tendency to create fictional worlds in my head and be really indulgent in them, I like making stuff related to my fictional worlds or characters, like plushies or drawings or stories/text based roleplay. This is my main form of interacting with other people because I largerly find conversations related to the real world unfulfilling and dull, I guess itd be nice to find people who are also as obsessed with creatibg fiction as me and dont think that me constantly bringing it up is annoying.
>Basically in your ideal society, where are you and what are you doing?I think I lowkey could be a microceleb artist or a writer because Im pretty talanted for a literal retard, Im able to create meaningful interesting stories inside of my head, I just dont reveal them because I dont want to be judged or scrutinized for unconventional motives in them or be made fun of. But I guess if that didnt exist then I could probably make a living out of my art and meet more likeminded people.
No. 2510987
>>2510963I'm sorry but if you don't want people to judge you, then don't talk about bodily fluids with strangers. Some autists have this "me me me" mentality where they want to be accepted, and understood, but then they refuse to accept or understand others. Most people, normie or not, don't want to discuss bodily fluids - you have to understand that and accept that about them. Society isn't going to change for one person: you have to change to meet the norms of society. I understand that this is difficult, but it's what has to happen. You can't be smashing your head with your arm, or running around in circles, or making strange noises, and then expect people to pretend that you aren't acting like a freak.
>as normal people would be embarrassed to be around me because of my unkempt looksI'm autistic and I would also be ashamed to be seen with someone that is unkempt. It really is not difficult to shower, to wear deodorant, to dress well, to style your hair. It's the bare minimum. When you are unkempt, you're projecting this image of "I don't care enough to try," to the world, so why should other people care to try and understand you? Nobody is saying that you have to be super fashionable, but you have to at least look clean and well-groomed. Nobody wants to interact with dirty-looking slobs that smell bad and wear wrinkly stained clothing that hasn't been washed in a week.
>I think I lowkey could be a microceleb artist or a writer because Im pretty talanted for a literal retard, Im able to create meaningful interesting stories inside of my head, I just dont reveal them because I dont want to be judged or scrutinized for unconventional motives in them or be made fun of.I think you're trying to make excuses for why you haven't become an artist or an author yet. There are lots of artists and authors that operate online and that don't attend conventions or events, and a lot of them are autistic too. I also think the your desire to be famous is maybe speaking more to the autistic egoism. Do you want to be an artist or an author because you want to create, or do you want to be an artist or an author because other people would pay attention to you? It seems more like your aspirations are imagined vehicles to social success.
>I guess itd be nice to find people who are also as obsessed with creatibg fiction as me and dont think that me constantly bringing it up is annoyingThere are thousands of spaces, online and offline, that are dedicated to this. I know of 3 clubs in my city that are dedicated to world-building, and many more that are related to fiction like sci-fi or fantasy.
A lot of your problems sound self-made. It seems that you don't want to do any work to improve yourself. A very external locus of control. Get some self-help books, go to therapy, learn coping skills, learn social skills, and 9/10 of your problems would be solved.
>>2510754Like the others said, it seems more like you're jealous that other autists took the time and energy to actually improve themselves and lessen the severity of their symptoms.
>>2510559Your ADHD larp isn't working, sperg.
No. 2511028
>>2510987> I understand that this is difficult, but it's what has to happen. You can't be smashing your head with your arm, or running around in circles, or making strange noises, and then expect people to pretend that you aren't acting like a freak. Dude do you think Im not aware of this? Its exactly why Im miserable. Im aware that my desires are utopian and impossible to execute. And no I dont bring up any of that shit when talking to strangers
>I'm autistic and I would also be ashamed to be seen with someone that is unkempt. It really is not difficult to shower, to wear deodorant, to dress well, to style your hair. It's the bare minimum. This is what I meant when I said that i cant talk to normie autists. You think that because its easy for you then it must be easy for all of us
>I think you're trying to make excuses for why you haven't become an artist or an author yet.No Im not, Im just aknowledging the reality of how my life is, Im too scared and embarrased to make anything of myselg
>I also think the your desire to be famous is maybe speaking more to the autistic egoism. Do you want to be an artist or an author because you want to create, or do you want to be an artist or an author because other people would pay attention to you?I dont necersly have a desire to be famous, when I said that I could probbaly make a living out of my art if I wasnt a pussy and people werent judgemental I was just aknolwedging the fact that I do have talents.
>I know of 3 clubs in my city that are dedicated to world-building, and many more that are related to fiction like sci-fi or fantasy. Theres none in the shithole tjat I live in
>Get some self-help books, go to therapy, learn coping skills, learn social skills, and 9/10 of your problems would be solved.You make all of this sound so easy its annoying.
No. 2511040
>>2511028No, I'm sorry, but you need to shower and put on deodorant and groom yourself. That's not up for debate. I've been depressed and it was hard for me to shower then too, but I still did it.
>You think that because its easy for you then it must be easy for all of usLife isn't easy. Even for normies or "normie autists" or whatever you wanna call the people that you envy. Everyone has to do things that they don't wanna do. Everyone has to struggle sometimes. You're not the exception to the rule. Finding it hard to shower, or wear clean clothes, or put on deodorant isn't an excuse not to do those things.
>Im too scared and embarrased to make anything of myselgYeah, but this is your fault, not society's fault. You need to work on improving your self-esteem, society isn't going to improve that for you. If you really have talents, then start using those talents instead of wallowing in self-pity and expecting ass-pats from everyone.
>You make all of this sound so easy its annoying.It kind of is that easy though. You can find pirated files of self-help books online, there's a mountain of resources online for people to improve their social skills and to learn new coping skills too. It's 2025, we have the entire sum of all human knowledge at our disposable through the world wide web. The only thing that's a bit hard is going to therapy because it costs money, but everything else is free and requires only some time and an open mind.
>>2511033>We should have a million echo-chambers so nobody's fee fees get hurt!Be real lmao.
>>2511037Me too. Christ.
No. 2511050
>>2511040>No, I'm sorry, but you need to shower and put on deodorant and groom yourself. That's not up for debate. I've been depressed and it was hard for me to shower then too, but I still did it.But I am not you. We are different people, I know that those things are a necessity, that doesnt change the fact that I still struggle wity them due to the fact that I am in my head 90% of the time. I struggle with forgettung that I have a physical body with needs that I need to take care of because I am so engulfed by the world inside of my head. Just because its easy for you doesnt mean that its easy for me, especially when its so clear that were on different sides of the spectrum. I just wish I was given a level of understanding for things that I struggle with instead of being dissmissed or ridiculed for them.
>Life isn't easy. Even for normies or "normie autists" or whatever you wanna call the people that you envy. Everyone has to do things that they don't wanna do. Everyone has to struggle sometimes. You're not the exception to the rule. Finding it hard to shower, or wear clean clothes, or put on deodorant isn't an excuse not to do those things.Do you realize that it isnt a matter of what I want or dont want to do? If it was my way Id be normal. Not everything in life is alterable, even when I was in therapy I still struggled with those, how is this a hard concept to grasp
>Yeah, but this is your fault, not society's fault. I mean its lowkey both? I am insecure because I am judged, if I wanst judged Id be less insecure.
>It kind of is that easy thoughIts just not? I dont see a reason as to why youre denying this. Not all of us have the power or the abbility to pull purselves by the bootsraps, this is like asking a paralyzed person to stand up and walk again. This conversation is moving nowhere.
No. 2511053
File: 1746400270387.jpg (65.03 KB, 540x272, melancholy.jpg)
>>2511050>>2511051You're right. I shouldn't have bothered to respond to you because it's obvious that you're never gonna admit that you're the only one that has the power to improve your life.
No. 2511064
>>2511053I wrote this post
>>2511051 and I'm not the same anon as
>>2511050 and you keep talking out of your ass. Being able to acknowledge the differences in degrees of mental ilnesses and saying that we have the power to change our lives is not mutually exclusive, yet you keep acting like someone here constantly denies the second sentence so you keep fruitlessly repeat it over and over in a truly autistic manner
No. 2511088
>>2511050>Not everything in life is alterableHave you tried antidepressants?
>>2511064Using a low functioning autist to one up themself is honestly funny and pathetic.
No. 2511380
>>2511088>Have you tried antidepressants? I was on multiple antipsychotics and antidepressants when I was a teen, so yes.
>>2511265>I would be your friend, you sound coolI think yourr just being nice but thats okay
No. 2511609
File: 1746444168586.jpeg (100.21 KB, 795x635, IMG_8566.jpeg)
It would seem that I have failed the vibe check once again. My coworkers are having a barbecue that I am not invited to. I just think it’s so funny when normies preach about inclusion then don’t even practice it. Also the “im LITERALLY so adhd” thing is CULTURAL APPROPRIATION. They have “adhd” because they are addicted to following astroturfed trends, get rage baited by algorithms, and have low self control. I have adhd because I can’t hold an interest for longer than a couple weeks and even cartel beheadings no longer give me a dopamine rush. WE ARE NOT THE SAME
No. 2511655
>>2510963ayrt while not exactly the utopia you're looking for, it's not impossible to find friends like that. Though since your interests are niche it would probably be easiest online in groups to have sperging needs met. I know other anon said bodily fluids are gross, but I think a lot of medically interested people would actually find it neutral or even interesting. I'm personally not interested in the topic at all, yet if someone had cool facts about it I'd listen with genuine interest because "facts are fun" to my brain. My autistic friends and I info-dump on each other like that about our favorite topics. But you have to also then accept others do the same to you, and you never mentioned being on the receiving end. And you'd have to get over some of that disdain and mistrust for other autists too if you want to have a spergy friend cirle.
>I do occasionally feel urges to participiate in normal person stuff like going to the cinema with friends or hanging out in a public space, both of those are nearly impossible for me to perform as normal people woild be embarrassed to be around me Just get a friend who is as spergy as you, that usually works. You are far from unique, stims and acting odd are known in the autism world so most people who are used to autism would be ok with it. And while the most snobby normie might think it's too odd, there's also a lot of "tolerance preachers" who would actually indulge you without judgement for a couple of hours of hanging out.
>I have a tendency to create fictional worlds >I think I lowkey could be a microceleb artist or a writer because Im pretty talanted for a literal retardI can't tell you have to live your life, but to me it sounds like something you should pursue and push. You could actually literally become a microceleb artist/writer. You can test the waters by making anonymous accounts for your art. That way if you get judged and don't like it, you can just delete it all and people won't know it was you. But if it goes decently well you can do things like contact local autist/disability groups to be showcasted in whatever medias they use.
>But I guess if that didnt exist then I could probably make a living out of my art and meet more likeminded people.See here you're right, this is an actual possibility for you. Your art could be the key to get more accepted, get friends, and possibly make a living out of something you like doing. And the thing you say stops you is just fear of judgement. You will be judged, but what if instead you learned to not fear it? That's just one person's opinion! Everyone doesn't have to love your art, you just need a dedicated few who gets it.
No. 2511659
>>2510987>It really is not difficult to shower, to wear deodorant, to dress well, to style your hair. It's the bare minimum.Bitch this is NOT bare minimum, that is a lot of fucking work! I literally only shower out of these and THAT is bare minimum lmao
Literally just throw on like a t-shirt and hoodie and people will accept you. Styling your hair is needed to be baseline respected? Get the fuck out of here.
No. 2511909
File: 1746465022082.png (581.54 KB, 885x1355, 1000009291.png)
Anyone find the /r/Autisminwomen subreddit incredibly relatable? Picrel
No. 2512471
>>2511909The solution is to heal your own trauma. "But it's hard" yes, because it's trauma. If you currently cannot keep friendships because of your trauma and it's severely effecting your life overall then literally the only thing you can do is to work on it, or just keep suffering. I know that's
triggering for certain people to hear but it's the only solution. "But what if it can't be healed" then you will simply suffer the consequences for the rest of your life. It's not your responsibility to heal the other person's trauma, and it's not ayone else's to heal yours for you either.
No. 2512476
>>2512474Ntayrt but every single person that I've ever met that says something like "oh, I don't get BO!" does, in fact, get BO, but they're too noseblind to realize how bad they stink.
>>2512471100%. Being an adult means holding yourself accountable for your flaws and taking strides to correct them.
No. 2512480
>>2512474This is for Nonnas with The BO Gene. Rest be applied nonetheless lol
>>2512477I would not recommend either. Shit stinks and it can mess up your ph but I've seen a really dumbass debate here on the farms over soapy vaginas so I just threw it in just in case. I wouldn't even recommend those vaginal wash stuff either
No. 2512500
>>2512498Oh it can definitely have an effect I'm not going to lie but generally speaking I'm uninterested in discussing that aspect; namely in an autism context where people gave food selectivity and as long there not eating
too unhealthy, I'm pretty ehh on it. We are also discussing a context of people struggling to find energy for frequent hygienic upkeep so something like a dietary change feels like skipping to step 500 when you are still on step 1
No. 2512522
>>2512489Ayrt and if you want to stink, you do you.
>>2512483Body odour isn't just caused by sweat. There is a specific smell that comes from being unwashed and dirty and it doesn't always come from sweat. People that have the "no stinky sweat" gene can still have body odour.
No. 2512947
>>2512822>My dad keeps proposing to sell my crafts or antiquesI'm confused why this is bad? People do sell crafts and art? You don't need to buy materials for 100, 50 or 10 items to sell, you can just start with 1 or 2. And you set the price you sell it for so if it costs a lot to make you sell it for even more.
>let alone allow their holy daughter to participate in such.lmao nona you do not need your parents permission to take a job, just do it.
>>2512854>When I tell them it is not possible in the current state of market they start offering nonsensical shit that doesnt work. If they offer you things that don't work, YOU have to instead offer them things that do work. You sitting comfy on your butt and being a spoiled little nepo baby while they grow more frustrated and resentful that you don't value their money, work, or time is not a viable option nona. You're not a child, it's not actually their job to support you financially. It's not even their job to help you find a job or even encourage you but they're still trying. Taking that clinic job does actually work btw, because the point isn't for you to go there and have a fun relaxing time - it's to do a job and earn money. You not liking it doesn't matter when the other option is not having any money and being unable to live. Just go get a factory job already and prove that you can do it.
No. 2513066
File: 1746539651877.jpg (310.84 KB, 1080x1067, Screenshot_20250503_205433_Ins…)
Help i need extra easy nutritious meal ideas/safe foods i can meal prep (And maybe re-heat in a pot because my microwave is broken, although i do have one at work if i want to bring food along)
I have the tism, i just started at a new position in the company and it's been a freefall so far,my new coworkers scare me, im on my period, i love cooking but i forgot HOW&when… please tell me about your safe foods fellow autists
No. 2513094
>>2508405Speaking of the Lion king autism I have to post it here! Do you guys think he's a furry? I have a hard time judging this kind of stuff and his channel looks interesting but I don't want to support a furry. Is using your dog as an avatar a furry thing?
I wish we had a TLK thread btw kek
No. 2513638
File: 1746561231473.jpg (309.65 KB, 1080x1246, Screenshot_20250506_214954_Ins…)
>>2513109>>2513104>>2513099Thanks for advice…
I managed to make some riceballs and minestrone soup, the soup turned out pretty well despite consisting of pathethic scrap vegetables. So happy I've got lunch covered for this week…!
No. 2514286
>>2512822Anon if you can nepo yourself into some kind of behind the scenes admin job you should definitely take advantage of that opportunity. Your parents won’t be around to support you forever. Networking is a huge part of finding work and most of us are terrible at it (I know I am) so if you have useful familial connections for gods sake take advantage of them.
.t anon who studied for a decade only to be unable to find a job because I prioritised grades over networking.
>>2513210She became famous for her music and maintains fame by wearing strange costumes. It’s not her natural quirky personality shining through, it’s a calculated PR move. All of these celebrities are backed by PR teams who orchestrate shit like this to keep the public’s attention on their clients. Anon is right that you can’t hold celebrities with a carefully engineered brand and people like us (who presumably aren’t producing extremely popular catchy music) to the same standards because nobody else does. Celebrities get to be weird and outrageous as part of the social contract that made them celebrities in the first place; everyone knows the meat dress was for attention and not something she wears because it’s her personal style. If she kept wearing meat dresses to every event the shock factor would wear off and people would get bored with her and tell her to find a new shtick.
If people like us go out dressed like Lady Gaga, at best people will think “look at that weirdo who’s cosplaying Lady Gaga” at best, or more likely just “look at that weirdo”. I agree with your original post, though. Embracing being That Weirdo can be freeing if the alternative is painfully twisting yourself into a pretzel to pretend to fit in. Especially because many of us don’t manage to fit in no matter what.
>>2513998Mood. I never know which is worse, when their smiles fade and they look away or when the genuine smile turns into the weird patronising kind they’d use to talk to a small child. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the time where I didn’t recognise the latter and still thought people genuinely liked me.
No. 2514662
>>2514398Ayrt and my country has mini-celebrities like that too but I’d hesitate to say they’re really beloved. They’re treated more like clowns if anything. There’s a strong reality show culture here and that’s where most of these people come from or turn to when their star starts to wane, regardless of any talent they may have. But most reality ‘stars’ aren’t like the Kardashians, nobody really looks up to them or respects them. They’re nothing more than sources of cheap entertainment that the industry chews up and spits out. It wouldn’t surprise me if the industry preys on autistic people since we do tend to be quirky, gullible and easier to manipulate. Not to mention the guaranteed ~drama~ when someone has a meltdown after being harassed by paparazzi.
I hope it’s better wherever you are, because the situation here is nothing to strive for. I really hate my country’s media sometimes.
No. 2514780
File: 1746643953925.mp4 (1.36 MB, 720x1280, bcffe700d35f848d.mp4)
>obviously extroverted normie tiktok whore who films herself getting fucked by gross scrotes on onlyfans
>im autistic btw :3 in bio
its all so tiresome
No. 2514840
>>2514780And it's always some woman you just know treated autistic girls like dogshit in school. The mean girls who were condescending to and laughed at spergs grew up to pretend to be spergs. I don't understand how this happened.
>>2514792I don't have ADHD but my friend does and she graduated from college but had a hard time and took longer than her peers. She says it was worth it to finish, but she also says that things only really improved once she was diagnosed and got on medication and developed a supportive network of people who encouraged healthy habits like studying and working out and eating well. Maybe you could see if there are local study groups to help enforce accountability/communal quiet study times or something like that?
No. 2514960
>>2514662>But most reality ‘stars’ aren’t like the Kardashians, nobody really looks up to them or respects themAnon… people don't respect or look up to the Kardashians either… kek
>>2513998Have you ever tried wearing dark sunglasses? I've found that for autists that struggle with social interactions, the one thing that's hardest for them to change (and the one thing that outs them as weird to normies) is their eye contact. If your eyes are obscured someway, like with sunglasses, you'll be surprised how easy a lot of social interactions become. If they ever ask why you're wearing sunglasses indoors, just say that you get chronic migraines and that the LED lights
trigger episodes. Eventually, after you become more self-confident in social interaction, you won't need to use the sunglasses anymore.
No. 2515358
>>2515032Right. The sensation of foundation on my face makes me want to claw my skin off. Fake lashes make me want to tear my eyelids off. Itchy, cheap, polyester clothing (especially revealing clothing that has lots of holes or gaps in it, or stuff like bustiers that have wires inside or rough seams inside) feels so disgusting against my skin and is a
trigger. I cant imagine being genuinely autistic yet constantly dressing yourself in this itchy uncomfortable crap.
>>2515287Sensory issues are like a mainstay of autism kek. Some studies put it as high as 93%. This is why 'autism' has become a meaningless term that normalfags self dx with now, because the criteria that real autists almost uniformly experience gets dismissed as an exception instead of the rule.
No. 2515391
>>2515366Fun fact, when westerners and japanese people first met they were both freaked out by each others stench. The japanese people thought westerners smelled liked old milk, due to their dairy heavy diets making them smell that way. And western people thought the japanese people smelled like rotten fish, due to their fish heavy diets making them smell.
Basically, you smell like the rotting/fermenting/old version of what you eat, because that's what's happening in your belly and the smell leaks out. A bit freaky to think about.
No. 2516090
>>2515602Maybe i wasn't specific enough, when I mean racing thoughts, I mean my brain ping pongs between things like, "Oh i really want to paint my office, what should i paint it? there's too many options, I should take photos and do some mockups, i need to charge my phone, I really should focus on work, I wonder what events are happening this weekend, let me take out the trash, I feel like I'm wasting my day, I should focus on work, etc" But one right after the other and it's hard to actually action on anything. I don't think it's anxiety, none of the thoughts are worrying about anything.
>>2515966Thanks nona, as I get older, I do realize that there is more of a pattern to this. I had another one last night and figured for the first time seeing if anyone experiences anything similar.
No. 2516794
>>2515549Yeah.
Im fine with being "ugly" and "abrasive." I saw a Reddit comment describe an unattractive but married woman who the commentator described as quite abrasive, and Ive aspired to be like her since.
No. 2517083
>>2516888Talk to your psych and see if they suggest an alternative and/or a "holiday" from meds. It's not a bad idea but it's good to do with supervision, especially if you deal with insurance. If it's an agreed-on holiday, it will be easier to pick back up smoothly or get an alternative afterwards.
>>2517001 idea of monitoring your status and if you've taken meds as much as you can from now on is great as well, very helpful.
Have you had any health/life/environmental changes in the past year? Changed any other medication? Stressful events? It could just be a tolerance issue but there's a lot that can affect things. Try to think of anything like that to report to your psych when you bring up the issue.
No. 2517298
File: 1746755435018.png (144.75 KB, 500x500, 1650319417673.png)
Anyone else hate writing birthday cards? Whether I like the person or not, it's always so damn mentally taxing to figure out what to say that's can't just be said with a pre-written card. Everyone always says "just be genuine!" but it gets to a point (especially when it's an old person) where it's tough to pretend to be bubbly over a yearly event like that
No. 2517613
>>2517599Finding the cause of and solution to autism should be an absolute priority tbh. Most genetic conditions can be detected before a child is born, whether that's through carrier screening, amniocentesis, embryo testing, etc. Parents should have as much advance warning as possible so they can make an educated decision. Autism cant be diagnosed for several years after birth and it's a scary possibility.
The irony of the pearl clutching from autists themselves is that if they have the ability to comment on political issues, they are pretty high functioning. Low functioning artists are legit disabled and will need care their entire life. Nobody would care this much if the only risk was having a nerdy kid, as opposed to a screaming retard in diapers.
No. 2517688
>>2517599>I genuinely don’t understand the people pearl clutching about there being research to find if there is an autism gene.If they found it it would be good so they could fix it. I don't find aborting any fetus for any reason to be bad personally, it could be the healthiest looking fetus and if the mother doesn't want it then off it should go.
Though I don't really believe there is such a thing as the autism gene. The label is now super inclusive and convoluted. I'm not at all convinced autism is just one thing, I think there's a whole group of genes, conditions and disorders that have been grouped together and are now called autism. That's why someone could have autism in that they're socially retarded but not have a single of the other issues (like sensory issues), while another person could have every autism symptom on earth
except the social deficit and thus not be considered an autist. It's been branded as a "spectrum" because they failed to narrow it down to one thing. It's possible they potentially could locate AN autistic gene, which would presumably be the most obvious retard kind of gene and that's still a good start though.
I think most angry people are fakers tbh. If there's suddenly a way to prove someone is or isn't an autist genetically that ruins their whole autist identity they've formed. I'm one of those who are still unsure my diagnosis is even accurate, and I would be delighted if it turned out I'm not an autist after all. I'd still have my issues but the cause would be different and thus there could potentially be different treatments and help for it.
No. 2518630
>>2518482That's textbox OCD nona
>>2518578Start with just not sleeping with men you're not already dating? If you're just hooking up with someone you're literally both just using each other for sex, that's the whole point of a hook up.
If it's someone you're seriously dating to the point you call each other gf/bf then you have to look at his actions. Does he always want sex when you hang out? Does he suggest actual activities that require time, money and effort and going out with you or is it always just "netflix and chill" at home, that typically leads to him wanting sex? If you suggest doing something, does he shoot it down?
Does he like to talk to you about various FUN (important detail!) topics (including listening to you talk) or does he just talk about how hot you are or complain about random shit not caring if you even reply? If the man is just using you to vent about things like politics, AIbro talk, his own depression, or whatever shit - he's just using you as a wall to spew his thoughts on the same way he's likely using you for sex. He has to actually engage in fun conversations with you, and be excited to talk about things YOU bring up and care about too.
One big clue is to listen to him talk about the future. Does he say "when WE get a house, when WE get kids" or does he say "when I get a house, when I get kids". Basically listen to see if is a given to him that you're in his future. For example I remember a nona who ended up dumping her boyfriend because whenever he'd talk about the future he'd say something like "whoever I end up marrying in the future" as if it wasn't even a given that it's even her.
No. 2520019
>>2519561you had anxiety before you were even born kek (same though).
and i feel you, it's so frustrating to think back to when you were young and wonder 'if i'd been diagnosed young, would i have had a better time with proper support?' it took until i was 26 to get a proper diagnosis despite showing very obvious symptoms my entire life, particularly as a little kid before i learned how to mask better - the stigma against girls with autism sucks ugh
No. 2521040
File: 1747009538283.png (4.85 KB, 675x456, 1724326968278.png)
>>2521009ty anon, much respect for you to taking time out of your day to respond to me.
No. 2522565
>>2522563wtf. Why do I resonate with everything in this picture. (Except for me it was sonic.)
I always suspected I have some flavor of 'tism but I can function completely normally now because I have had enough time to observe other adults and mimic what they do.
No. 2522616
>>2522565The way my trusted burgerfag Psych explained it to me is that having Autism/Aspie/ADHD traits, even a lot of them, doesn't automatically mean you're diagnosed.
The diagnosis occurs when those symptoms are causing 1) measurable dysfunction 2) in multiple areas of your life.
Since you might have 'Tism behaviors, but aren't dysfunctional/disordered, you ARE Neurodiverse. But you are not diagnosed with DSM4 or DSM5 Autism, because you've appropriately adapted to society and are managing without multiple dysfunctions.
Which, good for you anon! I understand the intense work you've put into observation, understanding and comprehension of social behaviors and expectations, your ENTIRE life. I'm glad it has paid off for you, but I know it's never simple.
I'm doing better in my dysfunction but something that helps me is remembering that NT people are dysfunctional too, so there is a built-in acceptable margin of error in society. Which sounds obvious but y'know, 'tism.
No. 2523848
>>2522616>Since you might have 'Tism behaviors, but aren't dysfunctional/disordered, you ARE NOT Neurodiverse.Fixed it for you nona! "Neurodiverse" is not a real term and unless you meet the diagnostic criteria you do not have autism, because the literal definition of autism is meeting the criteria. There is no disorder without having a disorder.
>>2522959Girl just close your mouth, you'll be fine.
No. 2523957
Is it possible for an autistic person to develop schizophrenia? I was already diagnosed with autism, they also said they see some ADHD symptoms in me and they encourage me to get tested for it too, but I'm scared of talking about my other symptoms to my therapist and psychiatrist. For the past months I've been extremely tired and stressed from work and being around people, also constantly re-living my various childhood traumas and abuse in my head, plus pain from chronic illness, all of this is causing my insomnia; every single week I have a situation when I don't sleep for 2 days in a row, and then I go to work and I feel like a zombie. And even when I sleep for 8 hours "in total", I still wake up like every single hour or every 2 hours during that time, and then it takes me at least 15 minutes to fall asleep again, so in the morning I wake up exhausted. I've been struggling with this pattern of sleep for at least 4 years (although my first sleeping problems appeared when I was 12, so quite a long time ago). I don't know if the things I experience are just sleep deprivation induced hallucinations, or worse. I experienced auditory hallucinations a couple of times, like I heard a voice on the left side of my head (not inside of it, but close to it), I couldn't understand it and I don't know what it said exactly, but I heard it, and I know there wasn't anybody because I was alone in my room. It really scared me but I never told about it to anyone irl. I feel like I give myself paranoia just worrying about becoming schizophrenic. I regressed in many areas of my life, including the only thing I was talented in (drawing and painting), my writing and speech got worse, I literally forget words, my vocabulary is worse than when I was 17, my concentration problems and OCD tendencies became stronger, I constantly have those thinking patterns like "X happened this way therefore now I will have to experience Y that way" (like for example, I came back to my apartment building after shopping, and the elevator was on the 7th floor, instead of ground floor or just fairly close to it, like the 3th floor, so that means I spent too much money and it's my "punishment" and now I have to wait longer etc., or that means I was mean to someone or I just did something bad, and now I will think about it for the rest of the day). I also cut off everyone from my life, my relatives try to contact me for like 2 months but I don't answer any calls because the discomfort from interacting with other people is even stronger than before. I only talk to my therapist, but not about everything. I feel pure anger when people just talk to me, and I don't want to be perceived by anyone in any way, every time I go outside I pray so people don't look at me. It's also harder to perform tasks at work because I don't want people to see how I move, I remember I had this thing already in pre school when I refused to do PE excercises because I didn't want kids to see how I perform tasks. So there are things that were always present, but there are also new things (like auditory hallucinations) or the problems I already had getting much worse
No. 2524750
File: 1747339105940.jpg (78.22 KB, 1080x797, 1000030782.jpg)
How to cope with the lack of any kind of intellectual and emotional satisfaction from interactions with other people? I still have people who want to talk to me, and I try to appreciate it, but I never feel anything positive in relation to that, it feels like a chore. How do I find "my" people? I know it sounds pretetentious but I yearn for deep conversations and the only person in my life I ever had that kind of relationship with was my literature teacher. That was it… Also when I was 13-15 I was fixated on old french and italian art house movies and I always wanted to have that kind of criptic conversations kek. And then I was disappointed that normal people don't talk like this (just like I was disappointed as a 5 year old that I can't communicate with others with singing, like a Disney character, because then other kids will look weird at me). I'm into philosophy and literature and I just don't have people who are also into that, the only people I meet are the ones from my work and family. I don't have a social circle, I don't know how to meet new people. It's really hard when you're an adult. I didn't graduate from college for personal reasons. I still want to go there someday, even if by that time I'm 35 or something. And I noticed that usually only people with degree are into that kind of stuff and I'm afraid they would judge me for not having a degree and then see my views on certain things as less valuable because of that.
I'm insecure about my class background in general and I'm afraid I'm gonna be stuck among uneducated people of low socio-economic status forever. I feel like I peaked in high school. I feel like I disappointed my literature teacher, who liked my writing and saw potential in me, big time.
I was once offered a job of an art professor assistant (yep) and I refused because I knew I was too autistic to teach strangers and talk to them, despite having the knowledge. I'm glad both the teacher and the professor will never find out of how much of a failure I became. Even when they praised me for something, the only thing I felt was the impostor syndrome. It's over…
No. 2524754
>>2524750Obviously I don't know you, but it could be that you come off as pretentious to other people. "Deep" conversations usually happen at night, after a long time of talking about other mundane things for some hours. Nobody wants to have "deep" conversations within 5 minutes of starting the conversation. Life isn't like those French art house films; the dialogue in those was written by screenwriters, it's not meant to reflect the reality of conversation.
>I don't have a social circle, I don't know how to meet new people.It's not like it's hard to meet new people. Sign up for stuff like yoga classes or book clubs, or do some volunteer work. If you can commit to an activity and go to it regularly, friendships will blossom out of that. If you want to talk with people that appreciate the arts, go to more galleries, or music shows, or arts and crafts fairs.
>I'm insecure about my class background in general and I'm afraid I'm gonna be stuck among uneducated people of low socio-economic status forever.Yeah but you're from a lower class and you're still interested in philosophy and literature, so why can't other people from your class be interested in those things? Looking down on people because of their socio-economic standing is pretentious and rude. You're limiting yourself when you cast judgements on people before you meet them.
No. 2524773
>>2523957Sadly yes, there is a small higher risk of developing schizophrenia when you are autistic.
Being said that, in my opinion, what you are experiencing now is probably more related to the sleep deprivation and exhaustion. Still, you should see a doctor.
Here is a link with info to help differentiate autism symptoms from schizophrenia:
https://www.healthline.com/health/autism-vs-schizophreniaAnd a test that might help you to interpret if what you are feeling could be related to schizophrenia and psychosis:
https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/psychosis/ No. 2525156
>>2524954sorry, I'm one of those NTs. I wish I wasn't, since I intellectually know it's not malicious, but ADHDers
trigger the parental emotional neglect part of me. where they didn't care about how I felt but I had to over care about how they felt
No. 2525367
>>2524954>I read somewhere that neurotypical find our existence hurts them on a deep levelNo, they just see anyone who is different and avoid them. It really isn't that deep and you probably do the same when you see people with other disabilities or from other weird cultures.
>>2525133My eurofag country would say it that way since we say aspergers name with a soft g, tho we don't actually use the word "sperg". But I guess the correct way is with a german g
No. 2525474
>>2525156Who's the parent and who's the kid?
>>2524954How do neurotypicals react to autists?
No. 2525495
File: 1747409611477.jpg (1.14 MB, 2560x1920, Greater Bilby-8.jpg)
Do any autistic people here live alone? and how did you do it? I really worry I'll never be able to live alone and it especially sucks because I live in an incredibly boring rural area with barely any people so my social life potential is basically nonexistent rn
No. 2525573
>>2525214Me too
I wish I was never born
I'm tired of being treated like an animal wherever I go
I'm just exhausted of living like this
No. 2525583
>>2525539i get incredibly anxious alone. i dont know if it has anything to do with autism i guess it doesnt. im just very scared of having no immediate support system
>>2525560i dont have a boyfriend
No. 2525780
Lately I've been told that I type like AI, what the fuck? I'm doing my best, I always feel like I'm playing 5D chess with people and that I'm losing constantly.
This is why I always end up logging off everywhere and not talking to anyone. Like first off, I do literally nothing at all, my job is retarded and boring as fuck, I basically have no hobbies because I don't feel like doing anything most of the time, and whenever I do something, I'm criticized or told that I'm lucky I can enjoy my hobbies and shit.
I swear, any time I try to talk with people, it's like there's a filter that makes them see gibberish, like this
>hey, how are you doing? Your drawing is so pretty, I like the different weight of the lines and the colors.
To
>hey bitch nice doodle, fuckface.
Because whenever I talk, even if I try to say meaningful shit that I genuinely think, it's like I'm literally insulting people. Specially my best friend.
Like she's always mad, and I swear she's always mad at me specifically because I'm shit at responding, I'm absolutely retarded, I want to kill myself, I hate being an autist.
No. 2525791
>>2525787I haven't drawn stuff in a while already and I'm shit at it, she actually usually gives me pointers and such.
I mean, she's clearly depressed too because of her shit family situation, but I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say either and no matter how many videos I watch, or how much I read, she isn't happy with what I say.
No. 2525813
>>2525791Also, samefag, whenever we roleplay, because we don't really talk too often, because it always ends with my friend being disappointed in me, her characters are always unmoving, unmotivated, unfeeling, and while she has always been like this, it has become more and more difficult to actually play and do things.
I feel retarded, I want to kill myself because I don't tend to have lots of friends and I feel bad about myself being a shit friend that can't even find the words to cheer up her own friend, or can't even be interesting at all without sounding like I'm bragging.
I just wish all autistic people like myself could get systemically separated from other people so I didn't have to feel shit and get attached to people.
No. 2525825
>>2525817Tbh, she kind of told me so, that all she feels is sadness whenever she talks with me. But when we meet irl, I think we get along just right? I feel so retarded and sad, since talking to me feels like self harm at this point, I should stop responding to her, I don't want her to feel sad.
I should've stopped this when I began going to uni, I just can't have friends, or friends with a deeper connection, it's like what my parents said, that friendships as an adult just aren't deep, they're based on favors and influence.
Like I have "friends" They're just people I can hangout with and talk about Fandom stuff or whatever, but we don't really talk about deep stuff like whenever I try to talk with my friend. That was such a fucking mistake, I'm not fit for being a deep thinker.
No. 2526519
>>2525583>i get incredibly anxious alone>i dont have a boyfriendThen why would you even want to live alone? I'm
>>2525560 and like I said I'm perfectly happy to live with my parents, when I move out it will literally only be because I have someone else to move in with. I'd never move to live alone and I don't see the problem with that. In all of human history people lived with their families until super recently, we're not meant to be alone.
No. 2526524
>>2525777>within like a day he's brought up several sexually suggestive things in conversationHe's testing you. He wants to invade your sexual boundaries because you're female and that gives him a high. Shut it down plainly by saying something like "Don't talk to me about sexual stuff, that's gross." and leave it at that.
Do NOT apologize and go "sorry can you not" because the fault is on him.
If he says "sorry didn't mean to upset you" or similar you don't say "it's ok/i forgive you" (because it's not ok, he shouldn't have ever done it) you say "now that you know, don't do it again." You don't actually say you forgive him, and stay firm with the boundary. Keep it professional, but if needed complain to whoever is your "boss" or in charge about sexual harassment.
No. 2528438
File: 1747620178612.jpg (319.12 KB, 1286x1361, retard.jpg)
how the fuck am i supposed to get through interviews with 0 social skills, lack of eye contact, and a monotone voice? help me nonnies i got laughed at by this dickhead during an interview and i can’t get over it. i've been out of work for a year
No. 2528460
>>2528453If it's just nerves, I recommend talking to strangers. Next time you're out and about, just stop someone and ask for the time or for directions to somewhere. Obviously don't go up to weirdos, but just normies or old people. Get more used to talking to strangers and interacting with them on the fly. If you have the time, you can also ask friends to give you faux interviews for practice. You can search "common interview questions for [role you're applying for]" to get a sense of what sort of questions you may be asked too.
Being a cashier wasn't good practice because you weren't actually socializing, you were just fulfilling a role within an organization. You have to get better at actually speaking to people on the fly and getting used to interacting with strangers. It's difficult, but the more you practice and the more you try, the better you'll get at it.
No. 2529221
>>2519561>>2519807This is a thing? I was in breach and ended up with the umbilical cord around my neck as well. Apparently I turned blue and spent like a month in the NICU where I looked like a giant compared to all the preemies. My parents love telling this story for some reason.
Is there a belief that the lack of oxygen causes autism? Because autistic traits run so heavily in both sides of my family I always figured it was genetic.
>>2524754>If you can commit to an activity and go to it regularly, friendships will blossom out of that.I must be doing something wrong because this doesn’t work for me at all. There are activities I’ve been attending weekly for years where I haven’t made any friends at all, even though everyone’s nice to me and I don’t think they dislike me or anything. It’s just that when I try to make conversation, people smile politely at me until I finish talking and then turn away. (I’m not infodumping about special interests or anything, I usually only get one or two sentences of small talk in at most.) When they all go for coffee afterwards they never invite me along, either. I don’t mind very much because I primarily come for the activity but making friends would be nice, you know? But that’s not something that has ever “just happened” for me.
No. 2529458
>>2529450What the fuck is "lookist" supposed to mean?
Anyway, it's probably because you have poor social skills or because you come off strangely. Do you dress well? Do you have good grooming and hygiene practices? Do you have untreated social anxiety? Do you have poor posture? All of these things will contribute to normies treating you with pity.
It's kind of like how when a cashier sees a person walking into the store wearing a balaclava with a gun - they're gonna assume that this person is a robber, not just another ordinary shopper that's chilly and coming from an NRA meeting. When a normie sees someone that's slouching, looking at the ground, wearing an over-sized hoodie with greasy hair, and mumbling, they're gonna treat that person with pity because they can tell that the person has some sort of mental disability. You have to look the part that you want to play.
No. 2529675
>>2529665>Men going around like this is acceptableNot to me and not to the people I live around. If I saw a scrote in sweatpants in public I'd assume he was homeless or on hard drugs. If I see a woman in sweatpants in public I just think she has major depressive disorder of she hates herself.
>I don't think that, I just want to feel comfortableI'm not saying that you specifically think it, I'm saying that normies will interpret it as such. I'm not saying to dress to the 9s either, I'm saying that you will be treated better by strangers if you're dressed in appropriate clothing compared to when you're dressed in lounge-wear.
No. 2529738
>>2529277well she said the only reason she's moving is because she has somebody to do it with… and i did have an online boyfriend but he was a pussy and wouldnt commit to meeting me so i dropped him. i dont know if its worth trying an online thing again
>>2529376i know its unhealthy and it makes me sad to think about it. the idea of coming home and not seeing my family makes me feel so nervous and unsettled. i dont know if its a self esteem thing, i mean ive done some independent "adult" things before like applying to jobs and working and driving myself around, i know i can do these things but i dont feel motivated to ever leave my family because im scared of not having them around. but i know im also limiting my growth as a person by doing that. so its just really conflicting. i guess ill probably just live with my parent until some nigel magically falls into my lap
>>2529458form-fitting t-shirt and jeans are the best i can offer kek
No. 2529751
>>2521992>Do you hate working because you find it difficult to maintain a decent quality of life on top of trying to build a career, or is it just the tedium of commitment?Yes to the first. Working sucks now because my standard of living is not that much better than my brother on welfare.
Also playing the office politics game for me is masking for 12-18 months until I annoy the wrong person, end up on the bottom of the social hierarchy and finally quit once I notice I have become the scapegoat.
No. 2529787
>>2529782I'm not really sure why being told that the way you dress impacts how others perceive you is so distressing. It's really just a normal part of living in society. It's why we try to dress up well when we go to church on Sundays or when we're going to an important job interview.
>If a woman is actually attractive no one gives a shit how she dresses>Only uglies and average joes cope with putting such emphasis on clothesThis isn't rooted in reality. Once you're a bit older and more experienced, you'll see things in a different light.
No. 2529827
File: 1747709924845.jpg (478.31 KB, 2721x1530, 65a803c0-7c5c-11ef-b02d-c5f3b7…)
>>2529771Wearing sneakers and a headband probably means that you're a terrorist or something according to that nona
No. 2529829
>>2529799That's so patronizing and gaslighting of you kek
But nah, I think I get better treatment than some of my female colleagues despite not wearing make up and wearing more comfortable clothes. At work and outside of it. Moids give me more attention too, offer me help and doing shit for me more often too. I was never disrespected, unlike beckies. And I sometimes get those passive aggreasive comments from those women "I wish I was pretty enough so I don't have to wear make up like you… but the way you dress, I dress better for a grocery store!" Yeah and that doesn't change the fact cute men treat me better than you and babies call me pretty (babies are the best judges of looks btw because they naturally see facial harmony and comment on it before society brainwashes them about "beauty being in the eye of the beholder" and other bullshit like that) and random women give me compliments on my features. I never felt like I had to "try" in my life, meanwhile beckies try to gaslight people like me and tell us society will treat us worse if we simply wear comfortable clothes. Well, I didn't notice that. The cope is real and female mating competition is something else man.
No. 2529831
>>2529782Absolutely not true. I've been in alt fashion circles since I was a kid and no matter that some of those girls were genuinely the hottest, conventionally beautiful and most stunning girls you'd ever see they'd get treated badly on the regular because of how they dress. I also know plenty of ultra normies who claim to be treated worse when not wearing makeup.
And not even just women, I've seen first hand how men who look sloppy and "homeless" due to hair and fashion get mistreated right away.
Especially also wrong because most social groups use fashion as an in-group identifier. You see someone wearing your sports team or band = that's now an ally with good taste. You're a troon and see a smelly goblin with green hair = you trust them because you know they're a fellow troon. Thinking how you dress doesn't affect you is severely underestimating the social signals you're sending out by what you wear.
No. 2529849
File: 1747710762202.jpg (48.7 KB, 425x438, 1592503944295.jpg)
>bragging about being a hot stacy who is effortlessly attractive in the literal autist thread
a bit mean innit
No. 2529985
File: 1747720902470.jpg (107.28 KB, 1000x1000, before-and-after-makeup.jpg)
>>2529887Yeah they're above you in the hierarchy of the work place so they can wear what they want while you're expected to still pay respects and look decent. But if you're applying to like a small firm selling napkins online I doubt they're gonna care much, they've pretty much already given up on life too so then you're safe.
I also feel like people underestimate how much of a difference makeup can do if you know what you're doing, most "naturally beautiful" women are pretty average without makeup, and most average women could look at least twice as good with makeup and styling. Saying this as someone who barely ever wears makeup because I still don't care kek
No. 2530068
>>2512947People who live in america sell crafts.
In my country it is impossible and nobody does that because mailing prices cost 3 times as much as the item, nobody will buy shit for such markup. An no its not the materials, its that the thing we were talking about cost like 100 euros while taking 100 hours. What the fuck am I supposed to eat on that?
>YOU have to instead offer them things that do workThere are no options, there are no work in this country for socially disabled people. There is no production, only service garbage.
>>2512885>>2514286I AM NOT QUALIFIED for them that the problem. I wont get hired and wont be able to hold shit down. My mom can't see it, she piggybacking me from through failing my job because she is mom. Administration is bad fit for autists because you have to juggle lots of different things at the same time, while autists can only hold focus on one thing at a time.
No. 2530127
>>2530068idk why you act like that's an "american" thing, i'm a eurofag.
>>2530068>I wont get hired and wont be able to hold shit down.So then try it and fail, that will prove to you both that it doesn't work. Shouldn't be an issue to not get hired for you if you're not qualified, but if you do get hired and fail after trying for a little while then ask the manager to do you a favor and write out why you weren't a good fit for the job. That will help you negotiate with you mom. Or, you could still literally just get that factory job you think you'd be good at as you still do not need their approval nor permission as you are a grown adult. Though admin can be a really great match for autists precisely because they can compartmentalize and focus on each area one at a time. But if that's not you it's not you.
>>2530071>all of the men with adhd didn't make it which gives me a feeling of superiority.Good job nona! And of course they didn't kek
No. 2530151
>>2529830Lol the fact that you just answered some made up shit as if it was scientific fact is kinda funny but so truely autistic.
Babies dont judge anything, they literally can't speak, I guess she meant toddlers but even so, toddlers evaluate faces based on how closely they remind them of their parents, they certainly dont care about your nose shape and whatever else usually bothers women.
No. 2530155
>>2530127There are literally no factory jobs in this country I already wrote just that.
> Shouldn't be an issue to not get hired for you if you're not qualifiedI wont anyways, the issue is she thinks it would be solved if I got some retarded papers, and I dont want to invest my time and energy into the venture that will fail anyways.
>idk why you act like that's an "american" thing, i'm a eurofag.You failed to adress anyhow how am I supposed to make a living and not go into debt earning 1 eurotoken per hours (which in itself implies impossible scenario that items get sold in the first place).
No. 2530670
What is everyone’s relationship with music? What kind do you like? I’ve always felt like I don’t experience music the same way as normies. I only care about how it sounds, the lyrics don’t matter at all. I love singing but it’s more about the sensory experience of manipulating my throat rather than the actual words.
>>2530463It’s very rare that I get along with fellow autists tbh. I try really hard to be a good conversationalist and just find myself annoyed and exhausted by people with the “doesn’t shut the fuck up” type of autism. Infodumping at someone is not a conversation…
No. 2530708
>>2530705If you're extremely afflicted and
other people also think you're autistic, it's probably fine, but otherwise no.
No. 2530752
>>2530705The autism diagnosis has become trendy and a way for some people to feel better about being weird and blame for all their issues instead of being critical. If you can't afford or get a diagnosis I believe it's fine if you research and personally consider yourself on the spectrum but it shouldn't be your online brand or something you broadcast a lot. You don't need to actually be diagnosed with autism for reading books and coping mechanisms for autistic people, you might simply have some overlap with autistic traits.
I myself kind of "self-diagnosed" and considered myself likely on the spectrum a year or so before I received my diagnosis from a psychiatrist, and mostly kept it to myself.
No. 2531332
>>2530927I've always felt that way. I find that with males they'll be more upfront about their thoughts, so it's easier to gauge the situation at a glance, plus I can freely call stuff retarded if I feel that they did/like something retarded. Whereas with normie women it seems like there's a constant invisible battle of deciphering hints from their end and needing to deliver the right cues from my end, and if I don't do well enough they secretly dislike me without any feedback about it. Most of my interests have also always been very male-dominated. When I was a kid I liked to do stuff like play fight with boys and hated common girly interests like painting nails and stuff, which made me socially dead on arrival.
I'm not a combative or argumentative person but I have a very straightforward personality and I've been told that sometimes people feel uncomfortable that I don't mirror their emotions or want to really talk about my own emotions either; I've been told that I mostly talk about "things" and prioritize being honest, whereas a lot of women want to talk about people/feelings and prioritize being relatable. That cliche saying about how "people don't want you to offer solutions, they just want you to listen" is the exact opposite of who I am most of the time and it's tough to do the reverse of what I'd want others to do for me in order to make people happy. I've also heard that it bothers some people when a woman doesn't have any interest in stuff like makeup/hairstyling/shaving/etc. but they won't say it outright, maybe that affects something.
For context I'm diagnosed in childhood and people "clock" me fairly regularly so I'm not a great masker except in short interactions or with old people.
No. 2531484
>>2526524ayrt i know it's been a few days but i gotta get it off my chest lol and i feel a bit more comfortable actually getting into the details now.
so he's a work coach at my job centre. it's mandatory i show up every few weeks for my appointments or i don't get the disability payments i need to fucking live - he isn't even my actual work coach, he stole me from my actual one (who is very nice and not a creep) and i was originally okay with that because we shared interests, you know? i'm stupid. my next appointment is with him too and i absolutely don't want to be in the same physical space as him, his desk is literally right across from where you sit while waiting to be called so even if i somehow managed to change my appointment to someone else, i know he'll fucking come over and bother me when i go. i'm too afraid he'll be able to read any messages i try to send to my actual work coach on the online journal thing, so i'm going to go into the building with my sister in a few days to speak to someone about it. weird messages aside, the fact he's used his governmental position to get my info and contact me outside of official means is apparently enough to get him fired.
i'd been kind of blaming myself and justifying it (again, stupid) because my main nervous response is fawning and laughing and maybe he misinterpreted it as flirting? both of my sisters were pretty quick to snap me out of that though
so he's probably going to get fucked but not in the way he hoped kek
No. 2531507
>>2530670Sorry for being super autistic about this. Good music gives me those tingles and shivers I assume people who enjoy ASMR videos get - maybe it is my version of ASMR? My definition of 'good music' is personal, a bit nebulous, and not really contained to a specific genre, but most of the time it's stuff that feels a bit ethereal and otherworldly. I think part of it is the literal vibes or rhythms and how they interact with my brain but idk what I'm talking about.
Some recent examples of music that gives me The Feeling, if you're curious: Sleep Token's Even in Arcadia (especially around 2:30), most of Crywolf (right now, Dreaming of Me // In Colours of White), Guillaume David's Noosphere (I desperately need more of whatever this genre is). For something a little more mainstream, everything by Florence + The Machine, specifically the Placebo or Meg Myers covers of Running Up That Hill, everything on TSS's Regrets album, the 80's remix of Hailee Steinfeld's Back to Life, and… Charli xcx's Apple. Don't ask.
Like the other nona who responded said, lyrics aren't particularly important to me unless they're so bad I can't ignore them, which puts me off, or they're poetic and resonate with me. It's mostly the vibes, man.
>>2531357Holy shit Ar Tonelico mention? Thanks for awakening a childhood memory. I used to know the lyrics to a bunch of the songs and Hymmnos is most likely partly to blame for my obsession with fictional languages lol
No. 2531691
File: 1747847011898.gif (1 MB, 275x207, 1503248534689.gif)
>>2531528 No but I didnt have a sex drive until much later than my friends and honestly don´t crave it except for three days while I´m ovulating. I have a hard time paying attention during sex but then I can´t come when I´m on my medication. Lol what gives?
No. 2531749
>>2530730Lots of doctors are retarded and try to pretend they know the patients symptoms better than the patients themselves
ADHD nonas can attest to this. I don't care about "muh they've been studying for decades" - ChatGPT does a better job at diagnosis than they do
No. 2531755
>>2531685he called me earlier using the official number under the guise of "oh there's a volunteer opportunity here and i immediately thought of you, you'd be such a good fit! but it's quite competitive so i wanted to reach out directly." i Really didn't want to answer because i knew it'd most likely be him but i was afraid of it actually being something important. luckily i just got accepted for a different volunteer job so i was able to immediately say no
going to go speak with someone on Friday about his behaviour - i have screenshots of the weirder shit he said in case he tries to cover his tracks but i probably won't even need to show them, the fact he's been contacting me outside of work should be enough to screw him on its own lmao
>>2531528autistic/adhd and i'm so full of love… i wish i had someone to share it with. i'm not too bothered about dating though. partially because i've only dated a few people and dating apps scare me, but the idea of dating itself is not that appealing. ideally i'll run into that perfect person one day, even if i know that's unrealistic. if it happens, it happens i guess!
No. 2531933
File: 1747859910591.png (297.02 KB, 425x307, birds.png)
I could write a huge essay on every gear of this problem but to put it briefly, I have always felt completely clueless about how to make friends. I'm not socially anxious and make efforts to put myself out there, but it constantly seems as though I'm missing something that keeps anything from sticking. People can tell that I have autism but I don't know what I'm supposed to even do about it; this isn't a tinfoil btw, this is people regularly outright making remarks that I'm strange or that I seem autistic.
A lot of the general advice I read doesn't seem to help me since I feel like I'm not just kinda quirky or whatever but that I have a fundamental disconnect from how human interaction works. Retarded example: years ago I read a tip that using someone's name in conversation helps build a sense of closeness, and pissed off someone that I wanted to become friends with because apparently I was doing it in an obviously forced manner towards someone who didn't consider themselves close to me or want to become friends. I've improved over time since I learned some generic things like "say hi to people when you see them" or "try to look people in the eye" but they're not natural for me and I still have to consciously choose to do them, so I'm liable to forgetting or being too overstimulated to juggle it all.
What can I do to self-improve? A lot of the social skills advice I see is centered around people who are insecure or have low self-esteem, but I don't have an issue with that… It's more that other people don't think highly of me, which gets in the way of my desire to have friends.
I recently shelled out thousands of dollars to start working with a psychologist who specializes in autistic women. We haven't started sessions yet but this is legitimately my last hope for ever integrating into society. If it doesn't work then I guess I'll try to accept that I'm too retarded to have friends.
No. 2531941
>>2531933If it's not too weird, where do you live? Like country or region wise? Have you lived in several different placed before, or always just the one? I ask because when I lived in my hometown, it felt impossible to make friends, but once I moved to a different city in a different region, I became a social butterfly without changing anything about myself. Sometimes it really is the environment in which we find ourselves. Some cities and places really are more asocial and closed-off than others.
As for tips, it's difficult for you because it sounds like you just need more practice with socialization. You might not be self-conscious or have low self-esteem, but you might still come off as sort of strange because you lack experience. It's like when you talk to a Mennonite, you can tell that they're from a different world and it clashes with your own. The best thing to do is to keep talking to people and getting more and more used to it. Pick up some books about conversation tips and small-talk guides. A lot of it will feel unnatural at first, but sociability is a muscle, you have to keep working it or else it atrophies and degrades.
Another thing is that you should never go into it thinking "I want to make friends." It's kind of paradoxical, but to make friends you have to not be looking for friends. Friendships happen organically and they develop slowly over time, which is why we usually make friends with people that we see quite often like coworkers, classmates, neighbours, fellow club-members, etc..
No. 2532007
>>2531709>a guy i barely know trying to flirt with me is the most uncomfortable and annoying thing everI feel this in my soul.
I’m not even conventionally attractive so I assume a man after me is a creep who is targeting me as an easy lay because my odd quirks can be mistakenly perceived as a lack of self confidence.
No. 2532050
File: 1747867948200.jpg (23.99 KB, 490x320, GnfFw_Ma0AA9YgK.jpg)
Why is it so expensive to get an assessment? I can't even afford the $300 just to see what the fuck is wrong with me
No. 2532156
>>2530705Autism is a condition that by literal definition comes with a social deficit from a developmental disorder. There are other causes of social deficit, for example a person could have a social deficit from growing up shielded or from child abuse and that wouldn't be autism.
That social deficit also means a person with autism is the LEAST qualified to assess and diagnose anyone (themselves or others) because they lack even the basic retrospect a normal-brained person has.
An autist self-diagnosing autism is like asking a schizophrenic to identify what is real and what isn't and assuming they're right - the condition itself makes it an impossible task. If you're right it would be pure fucking luck. It's far more likely a self-diagnosis comes from a non-autist who can easily see and feel that they're "different" and thus they think they must be an autist, failing to grasp that those deeply complex social reflections are only possible because they aren't actually autistic.
No. 2532262
>>2531941I have lived across Canada and the USA mainly in 2 different mid-sized cities. They themselves were different in a lot of ways but I've had the same experiences pretty much everywhere I've spent time in, I remember being so bummed since I moved countries largely because I thought maybe it'd be totally different. I'm going to move again soon to a more metro area in America and trying to be optimistic that maybe third time's the charm. From what I can gather, it's a mix of both where I do have a lot of intrinsic autistic traits but also that maybe a large city would have more resources and opportunities for someone like me.
I'll keep trying and hopefully there will be some new things to experience in a new place.
>>2531963Lol this reminds me of how I'd pretend to be a new immigrant and fake ESL talk as a young child to get unfamiliar adults to stop talking to me
No. 2532286
>>2532262It makes sense that you didn't have a good experience in Canada, the people there are really cold and cliquey. Were the American cities in the North?
If you move to a larger metro, try to find some clubs that you could join. You could try finding support groups for Adults with Aspergers, but sometimes these groups can be difficult because the people that go to them might not be interested in improving themselves. If you can find clubs that centre around certain interests, you'll probably find some autists in those clubs that would make for more quality friends. For example, clubs centered around bird-watching tend to be rife with autists in my experience. I'd also suggest doing some volunteering work at local women's shelters if there are any around. Usually the people that volunteer are a lot more open-minded and they're less likely to be judgemental, at least in my experience.
No. 2532386
File: 1747904890922.webp (22.53 KB, 401x429, Tony_the_tiger_thumb.webp)
>>2532289what the fuck is an "attractive" tiger anyway lmao what furry made that study
No. 2533042
>>2532156I disagree. Being autistic doesn't necessarily mean to have an intellectual disability, in fact, someone can be autistic and also gifted (not talking about savantism). This means that some autistic individuals are perfectly capable to reflect about themselves and their own circumstances.
Otherwise, masking wouldn't exist. The fact that some autistic people try to look non-autistic (usually without any success, though) means that some autistic individuals are able to identify patterns from non-autistic people, be enough self-aware to realise that they themselves are not following those precise patterns, and doing so, try to mimic them in order to hide certain traits that could reveal them as autistics.
This would demonstrate how some autistic individuals would be able to understand and identity their autistic traits. And even when obviously should be a doctor the one who gives or not a diagnosis, it's perfectly possible for some autistic people to have suspicions about their condition.
On a different topic, it's also worth to mention that some people diagnosed and treated for schizophrenia are sometimes able to recognise that they are indeed hallucinating. That's not something usual, though, but it's really helpful and comforting for the people who is struggling with schizophrenia and sometimes are able to identify hallucinations by themselves.
No. 2533049
>>2532115AYRT. Sorry, I didn't mean to invalidate your suffering. I'm very aware it's very discouraging to be suffering and don't receive the help you need. I don't know what country are you from, but you definitely would need to be properly diagnosed. Everything changes after that, usually, for the better.
As I said before, I don't know what country or place are you from, but I would look online if they were any associations in your area so they can guide you in this process. Maybe we can help you from here too.
No. 2533481
>>2533479I mean yeah but it's column a and column b because she does have it.
It's more that our sense of morality is something we're innately supposed to have (then why doesn't she have it) and that our unfiltered selves will inherently be a good thing (autistic people can suck too). I keep seeing these over and over again.
No. 2533511
File: 1747971550660.png (568.73 KB, 567x949, dd6XXKU.png)
>try to get assessed
>lady doing the intake is constantly talking about how tired she is, staring into space or rambling
>after like a 2 hour interview she decides I don't qualify because I can dress myself and string together a sentence
>mention being on anti-psychotics in the past
>"WHAT"
>she quickly skims through my medical history
>decides I actually do qualify because CBTorture isn't working on me
bitch.
No. 2533563
File: 1747979690278.png (79.67 KB, 226x269, vssxcvds.png)
I have dermatillomania and for once I decided to google on some recommendation to manage it and got btfo'd once more with how general human things don't apply to me. So bascially most recommendations there came from the position that I do supposedly do it because I hate myself so it was like "avoid triggers like mirrors, be kind to yourself" and I'm just kek. I do it simply whenever I feel bored, to get some sort of stimulation I start to glide through the skin actively searching for imperfections in texture to dig into. It happens unthinkingly.
So in case anyone else that have it, here are things that don't work.
- Fidgeting tools, the sensation is just not the same, and it doesn't feel satisfying.
- Silicon patches are 50/50. When I can be assed to use them it does work, but they are so much hassle holy shit and it also looks fucking weird to constantly walk around with patches on your face, not to mention the sensation of patch on face specifically feels very annoying especially if you happen to eat, and its also expensive.
-I thin silk gloves to try. Maybe I just wont feel all bumps on skin as acutely and wont have anything to latch on. On the other hand having lessened sensibility will likely annoy me on its own.
- Maybe will try NAC? I know that antidepressants don't help me in the slightest and I don't want to consume antipsychotics.
Don't have any other ideas at the moment.
No. 2533569
>>2532398>>2532388Maybe I expressed myself not quite well.
The person with hallucinations asked you if you see this too, because they can differentiate that things are off and asking a side opinion to confirm it. Most schizophrenics dont actually hallucinate even, its just obsessive thoughts, but principle is similar. They can differentiate reality from cognition, however since they are still bombarded with bullshit from their brain regardless of their opinion on it, they dont really have a choice but to lapse and succumb to it. Schizophrenics do actually suffer from their delusions. They cant have a release from them even when they realize that it doesn't really make sense.
I watched an interesting video, on "how it feels to be neurotypical" and the dude mentioned that he can just take his mind together and stop thinking about certain things. Mentally ill people often lack this capacity and it seems to be rather hard to grasp for healthy individuals that there is a rift between cognition and perception there that informs schizophrenics actorship. When you make schizos take mental capacity tests they generally have no issues with logic, it is only their specific delusions that ruin their lives (well and the comorbid stuff like avolition that disorganization)
No. 2533689
File: 1747996633953.jpg (52.92 KB, 686x386, hq720.jpg)
>>2533569The original point was just that the narrative is most unreliable. Do you trust an anorexic to be able to assess if she's too fat? If she says "yup I'm too fat" why should everyone believe her and accept that as if it were true? And if an obese person says she's anorexic (tess holiday) do you believe her?
No. 2533832
>>2533590what is NAC?
does the self harm trick of wearing a hair tie on your wrist and pinging yourself with it work?
No. 2534058
>>2533832>>what is NAC?N-Acetyl Cysteine. I've never tried myself but, for the looks of it, the only "possibly effective for" use is in cases of irritability in autism. It doesn't seem to be categorised as "effective" towards compulsive behaviours. But again, I've never tried it, it's just what I've read:
https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-1018/n-acetyl-cysteine-nac>>2533990>>Its been more than 24 hours since I last took my StraterraMaybe I'm not understanding you here, but it is supposed to be taken daily, for at least a month, to see the effectiveness.
https://www.drugs.com/strattera.html#dosage>>2534041>>Writing on myself with a red marker or snapping has never worked.Same, sadly.
No. 2534116
>>2534060This used to be me, technically it’s still me because I don’t live alone so I also have to manage my expectations when my roommate uses something i needed for a recipe and then I let the rest rot because I cba to go to the corner store and get more. But I’m much better at fridge management these days.
Here is what worked for me, might work for you:
>buy frozen veggie and berry mixes whenever possible, especially if you are using easily perishable food like avocado, frozen avocado cubes are good>plant milks instead of normal milk for coffee>but avoid avocado if you can because it takes weeks to ripen, is ripe for 5 minutes and then gets gross>same goes for berries, refrigerated salad mixes, bananas, mango>apples and pears keep well for a long time, so do onions, garlic and harder fruit like kiwi, nectarine peaches>always keep a few things of crushed tomatoes in a jar, sliced mushrooms, beans/lentils/other pulses, corn, pesto>freeze sliced bread and double toast when you need it>don’t bother with fresh spices and herbs and don’t listen to spice snobs, we’re just not built that way - but do use fresh garlic because it keeps well>keep some protein on hand like tofu, seitan, some other meat replacement, mushrooms>have some whole wheat wraps on hand, and some couscous>you can roast some frozen wok mix veggies in a pan, add spices and sauce you like, mix with protein of your choice and use that as wrap filling with salsa, or eat with couscous>pasta is always nice to have>frozen fish filet is nice to haveI still eat chicken, fish, eggs and fresh fruits and veggies when I can but the key is to cook it the same day you get it if it’s something like chicken. Dairy products I have to buy in very small quantities otherwise it spoils.
Might be hard if you’re in a car centric place and your nearest store is far away, but it’s still worth buying frozen stuff if you have a freezer. It’s been a lifesaver for me and I eat much healthier now, plus it’s infinitely cheaper than delivery
Sorry if my post is all over the place, I’m not good at managing my ADHD in every sphere of life kek
No. 2534137
>>2534058I read about nac on the wikipage of skinpicking disorder itself not separately
"Another class of possible pharmacological treatments is glutamatergic agents such as N-acetyl cysteine (NAC). These products have shown some ability to reduce other
problematic behaviors such as cocaine addiction and trichotillomania.[3] Some case studies and some small studies of NAC have shown a decrease in picking by treatment with NAC compared with placebo.[3]"
>>2533644I dont know what they officially cause but all people I know who have taken them were completely broken
No. 2534745
>>2534465Yes to both.
Dating a normie:
it made me feel like I was never good enough, like I was a charity case who needed help with everything, the weakest link at all times. Even in the areas I outshine them it was like "she can do that
despite sucking at everything else" and it wasn't truly valued. I was constantly on edge and had to pretend/mask to be more normie to fit in. Normies don't really "get" special interests and their intensity nor importance, unless maybe they've grown up with an autist in their family. Everything I did was judged wrongly like: I'm anxious and can't speak = I'm giving them the silent treatment and am being an unreasonable bitch. I ask something for reassurance ("it's like this, right?") = I'm a stupid idiot who needs to be told basic things. But when I ask a real question = I just need to be told "you can do it" with no further instructions. I don't like certain social things (like I don't drink/do drugs) = I'm a buzzkill who won't suck it up to please everyone else. They always "read between the lines" even though I meant what I said literally, they insist they know better what I think than what I do.
Dating a sperg:
I feel so much more understood and seen. We have opposite sperg issues so we actually cover for each others weaknesses yet have compassion for the others flaws. When I do something they struggle to do they're genuinely impressed and grateful that I have those skills. They fully engage with and encourage my nerdy special interests even when they're weird and/or childish. They also have niche interests which is way more fun than normies who kinda just like go to parties or watch movies. They also come with an understanding family (assuming they're not from a shit family, but I'm lucky they're not) who is used to dealing with autism (since their own child has it) and rather than being seen like a charity case they're genuinely so happy that their weirdo autist child found true love, so they treat you like a a princess and love you. They also usually keep track of disability news/benefits etc since they're used to do that for their child's sake, so that benefits you too.
I also like how when I say "I don't know how to do/dress/act for this" they don't do what normies do and laugh it off like "you'll be fine, just act normal", they actually understand that I mean I literally do not fucking know the correct social norms and we should look it up and make sure to get it right.
No. 2535078
>>2534954nope, I love it! it's sensory heaven to me and i wear sleeveless tops to allow me to feel my soft hair on my skin more
>>2535018i think you should set clear limits of what is allowed to be kept and not. An empty package is trash, say bye to it so it can be recycled into a new cool package that will make people happy. Rocks are outside items, she can have a collection outside but not in her room.
No. 2536246
>>2534954definitely cut your hair shorter so you won't feel it as much and don't need to tie it up
>Getting out of the shower is a missioni feel this though for the reason of being suddenly cold, i have to have a space heater running and making the room like 90 degrees even if it's hot in my house, it's the worst part of showering for me
No. 2536337
>>2536325I'm so jealous nona, well done
>>2535972can you explain for someone who doesn't know anything about bpd
No. 2536423
>>2536337BPD = desperately craves attention, constantly engages in attention seeking behavior like self-harm/arguments/threats, obsessed with specific people and do extreme things to get/keep their attention, emotions depend entirely on whether others are giving them attention
Autism = the opposite of all that and not liking being the center of attention in general
No. 2536532
>>2536458Many professionals still see autism as a male disease and believe women very rarely have it and that their symptoms must be something else. Whereas BPD is considered a female disease and men are rarely diagnosed with it. So they slap the BPD label on basically any woman who has "abnormal" emotions. It's like the modern version of the "hysteria" diagnosis of the 40s-50s.
BPDs claim to have autism because they think they'll be seen in a more sympathetic light, as manic pixie dream girls or whatever.
No. 2536722
>>2532050…$300 sounds like a good deal. I hope you can make that kind of money soon.
>>2531528I feel like in my personal case, it's far more complicated than just adhd or autism, of which i have both. I am really unfortunate looking irl, have lifelong acne and i feel like to look decent sometimes i need to be at war with my body. Knowing how ugly i am and that i won't be treated well if i am below average turns me off dating so much. But i feel like i can't claim to be aromantic because i don't know what i would have done if i was lucky enough to be average looking enough to attract moids, i feel like i am lying to myself by claiming to be asexual/aromantic in some sense and i am just engaging in cope. In addiction, i take clonidine for adhd in combination with sertraline and my sex drive has been completely deleted. As long as i take this combination of medication for a prolonged period of time, it's not even on the table to date in any capacity. I am almost 30 too, but honestly i just can't imagine my life having any kind of companionship at this point. I can barely make friends, let alone deal with being in an intimate relationship. Plus i have a schizoid personality type.
No. 2536926
File: 1748243360118.jpeg (39.19 KB, 529x580, IMG_8361.jpeg)
Nearly had a meltdown at work today due to noise caused by solar panels being installed on the roof, I could hear it over my noise cancelling earphones and even when I was playing music with the noise cancelling so I know it was loud and right above and next to where I was sitting, was able to leave work easily but the fact that sound can do that to me is so tiring
No. 2538309
>>2538303
Sorry, let me rephrase:
Nta, but like, super sorry to like bring it up, because like I know you probably didn't, like, know, or whatever, but, like I think that you need to maybe check over what you wrote again - because everyone makes mistakes, as Miley Cyrus says, and maybe, just this one time, you possibly, could have, potentially, made a mistake. I just think, and in my opinion only, and you're free to hold a different, like, opinion, that anyone can have a "meltdown," which, by the way, is totally not an OK word to use in 2025, because it's like steeped in anti-mental healthism, but like, just for a lack of a better word we'll say "meltdown," but I'm not, like, accusing anyone of having one, or that it's bad to have one, or anything like that; but, sometimes anyone can have one, especially people that have ADHD, since sometimes, and I don't mean every time because everyone is different, but since some people with ADHD can be a little emotional, and don't get me wrong about that because it's okay to be in touch with your emotions, but it's just how it is sometimes in my opinion (and you're free to have a different opinion). I don't think - but this is just my thoughts so you can have different thoughts as well because everyone is entitled to their own thoughts - that it's healthy to pathologize normal human, like, behaviours, just in my opinion. Super sorry I ever brought it up and I really apologize for even bringing it up in the first place because I know, like, that I'm probably 1000% wrong because like, I'm not perfect either and, like, I could potentially be wrong too, and like I'm not saying that I know, like, everything, but like I just wanted to bring it up just this once, just in case maybe I'm right.
Do I have to type every post like that now to avoid being randomly accused of "aggression" from a sensitive anon?(bait)
No. 2538322
>>2538091Cptsd = bpd
Ptsd = what
>>2538114 said.
Anger issues in ADHD only happens in a lot of ADHD children, if it’s also seen in adults that means often times a personality disorder (cptsd/bpd). I have seen many adult adhd women with traumas, they haven’t been angry as children but they did become women with repressed anger issues.
No. 2538414
>>2536377>"Autistic sense of justice" or "neurodivergent sense of justice" is a bullshit lie. Autists are in no way more moral or ethical than others thanks to their disorder. It comes from autists' rigidityI mean yeah that's the same thing? Disregarding drooling retards like
>>2536440 mentioned because as we've discussed many times aspergers/high function and level 3 autists aren't really the same disorder anyway. It also obviously wouldn't affect other "neurodivergent" people (still not a real term, but whatever) because it's got nothing to do with ADHD. I do know a lot of autists, myself included, who are pretty hung up on rules and doing the "right" thing. I'd even admit to teachers when I had done something wrong in school when I easily could have gotten away with it when it was an accident because "it was the right thing to do". You break the rules, you face the consequences. That's the system, and I'm following it. I did not cheat or break rules, because that's wrong. I didn't swear, I didn't drink, didn't do drugs. And I still don't because I was taught that is wrong, bad, illegal etc and I just accepted that with no desire to break the rules. So I do have very strong morals, because I have rules and morals I'm sticking to and no amount of peer pressure could change that. If you have morals and you don't follow them, then you don't actually have morals - as the saying goes.
So back to the other autists I know with a sense of "justice". Many of them are vegan/vegetarian because they don't want animals to get killed on their behalf. I on the other hand find it preposterous to insist killing animals for food is inherently evil. That would make every predatory animal (which is most of them) evil too. It's also saying that plants are a lower life form not worthy of the same respect and that nature is wrong and evil by default too. I cannot convince them that eating animals is ok, and they cannot convince me that eating animals is evil. You may not agree that one or the other is the right side to be on, but the fact remains that we all stick strongly to our beliefs.
>Sure, the ones who use it to become political activists or something are much more well known. But you also have other types of autists like Chris Chan basement dwelling pedosYeah, because as it stands what gets labeled "autism" is a mix of conditions and not just one single disorder. Just like the drooling retards aren't the same as aspie women, a deranged pedo moid doesn't really have the same condition either. But because some retard one day went "hurr durr it's a spectrum" we're all stuck being associated with all these other conditions.
No. 2539427
>>2539391>I feel highly paranoid of the prospect of having to take meds. I've been on various antidepressant for 11 years now and it never truly got betterI was in your exact position, and I stopped meds because of this! Took meds for years that didn't actually help and I had a sneaking suspicion and felt like they made me "worse". I can't prove they hurt my brain, but I feel dumber and number and like I missed out on developing properly because my brain was busy dealing with chemicals that had no business being there. Not to mention the money sunk into the meds that I could have used for meaningful things. And also the time wasted on waiting for meds to become stable, monitoring them, meeting doctors, having to plan around when to refill the meds… when I could have spent that time and money on actual therapy or training.
>it feels extremely dismissive when they propose it.It fucking does because it is. Once I finally decided to quit meds I realized meds is the one single thing they offer, and they hate taking no for an answer. I wanted to actually work through my issues and learn how to deal and cope, but all they did was to shill drugs for me and call me paranoid for not wanting them anymore. They acted like I was a schizo too stupid for my own good. Every fucking session with therapists, doctors, caretakers of any kind was wasted on them asking if "I'm sure I don't want them", explaining "they're safe you know", "most people improve with them", "why not just try them?" as if I hadn't tried for 7 years already! And then half the session time was gone because none of them could accept it. They don't actually know how to help, they just know how to sell you drugs so you shut up.
No. 2539431
>>2539392It's very common for kids! You have to work with it, not against it. Instead of going "throw those rocks away, that's trash!" you mentally manipulate and guilt trip to make the right choice. So for rocks you would go something like
>"Rocks are only found outside in nature because they don't like being inside a house. They get so sad! Those poor little rocks look really sad to me! Why don't we make them a corner in the garden so you can visit them and they can be happy? They would be sooo happy if you made them a little corner outside with all of their rock friends!"Works better the younger they are kek
No. 2539753
>>2539491I'm autistic and I'm fucking great so if my child is an autist like me they'll also be great, there's literally no issue there kek
I'm planning on having kids some day, and since I'm aware of autism and how it works I can actually provide them with the appropriate care that my parents and older generations didn't know of. Not to mention schools have also started catching up in knowledge and massively improved just in the last decade, if I have kids in 5 years then they won't start school until another decade has passed and there will be even more support around for them then. I don't give a fuck if people think autism is bad, I'll happily spread my genes, plus it's unlikely my kids all end up having kids with other autists too so eventually the autism may be bred out of my family line anyway. Or if not, whose to say in a couple of decades they won't find a cure or invent meds that negate the autism? I'm just one person in a line of many, I'm proud of my heritage and will happily pass it on to kids who I will lovingly raise and let them sperg to their hearts content. So many normies are pure evil, my genes are by far not the worst to keep for humanity!
No. 2539762
>>2539471NTA, but I also have kids and I was diagnosed as autistic before having them. For me, it was a conscious and active decision, because I love children, but I'm aware that I'm also messed up. So, I try to learn as much as I can, and educate myself to not mess up their lives as much as mine is. I also go to therapy and family therapy, since one of my children might be also autistic. However, this doesn't necessarily mean that the children are going to have have an awful life. I think they can grow to be happy, as long as they live in a loving and caring environment. There are also nowadays many more resources and acceptance towards this condition, so I try to be positive. But yes, I'm aware that this might not be the best decision in my life, but I love them very much, so that's why.
No. 2539767
>>2535066>It's probably unreasonable to expect a child her age to keep things organized, especially when it doesn't seem to come naturally to her.Yeah. No kidding. 6 year olds are not gonna "organise" shit. Kids get attached to random things and they
will find ways to make a mess no matter what, that's literally just what they do. I second the suggestions to let her keep an outside area for her rocks (I was a rock collector as a kid so I understand her desire to keep them kek) but for the packaging/boxes she keeps in her room, why don't you suggest a "craft day" where she turns them into decorations for her room/outside collection or things that can be stuck in a scrapbook? That will quickly get rid of a lot of excess material.
No. 2539858
>>2539391This is called being treatment-resistant and yeah, once you've taken enough meds and none work, it's a sign that none of them will. I suggest looking into TMS, ECT, and esketamine as alternatives to try.
>>2539623>>2539753You both seem to assume you'd have a level 1 autistic kid. What if it's a level 3 full-on tard who does nothing but scream and bang their head against the wall? You'd really still be happy with that?
No. 2539990
>>2535977Most friends I’ve had have treated me this way, to the point of introducing me to new people as “this is Anon, don’t mind her she’s kind of socially retarded” while I was RIGHT THERE. I do think being treated like this makes ‘the autism’ worse. Like you I can almost forget I have it sometimes when people treat me normally and I don’t encounter anything that overstimulates me too much, but when I’m surrounded by people who treat me like an idiot child I become less functional as a result. Part of it is self-esteem, part of it is probably getting too stuck in my own head and overanalysing everything, which makes me look weird to people so they treat me even more differently, which makes me even more insecure etc. like a vicious cycle. Personally I’ve noticed that I’m far more ‘normal’ around new people vs. when I’m around people who’ve already seen me at my worst. It’s like when I’m faced with someone who’s witnessed a meltdown and they make that patronising face at me (you know the one) I mentally regress to that moment I had the meltdown in the first place. I’ve inadvertently burned so many bridges that way because I just can’t be around those people anymore, at least not in a professional capacity. Does anyone else ITT feel like they need a clean slate on a semi-regular basis? Or like they need to keep people at arm’s length because once someone sees you at a bad moment you can’t ever be normal around them anymore? There’s more to it than just embarrassment, I think.
>>2536325Mine is the same. He’s just barely under the diagnostic criteria to be diagnosed but to nt girls he’s always been too awkward/monotone/prudish and a lot of them apparently used to think he was gay, so I was his first kiss when he was like 24. He’s one of the most caring and considerate people I know but he has a rather flat affect so people misinterpret him as cold. He’s also very uncomfortable with the whole concept of porn and was deeply embarrassed to confess to me that he doesn’t watch it and has (had) no idea what to do in bed. He was fully expecting me to be disappointed in him kek it was cute
>>2539858Nta but is there any data that supports that level 1 autistic parents are more likely to have a level 3 autistic child? Asperger’s and level 1 autistic traits run very heavily on both sides of my (massive Catholic) family but none of my relatives have ever had a level 3 autistic kid that I’m aware of, whereas the people I know who do have low functioning autistic children don’t have any known autism in the family. Of course this is purely anecdotal but I personally don’t think that Asperger’s and level 3 autism are as connected as they say they are.
No. 2540098
>>2539858>You both seem to assume you'd have a level 1 autistic kidI'm
>>2539753 and I only spoke about myself and my own family genes. There are a couple of diagnosed aspies in my family, but no full on retards or higher level. Clearly my genes are high functioning at worst. And much like
>>2539990 is also saying I'm not buying that my high-IQ-autism would result in a higher likelihood of massive-retard-autism.
>What if it's a level 3 full-on tard who does nothing but scream and bang their head against the wall? You'd really still be happy with that?My child (and anyone elses) could also be born deaf, blind, with downs, spinal muscular atrophy, cerebral palsy, without skin, any other kind of random retard disorder. Nothing in life is certain and random mutations happen. It's not very likely though, and a lot can be screened for and aborted before birth if needed. And again as I said: whose to say in a couple of decades they won't find a cure or invent meds that negate the autism? It's also fully possible as science advances you'll be able and encouraged to only pick desirable genes for your child (I mean that is already happening), meaning my grand grand grand kids can elect to have the autism genes yeeted out of the family. Your fearmongering is just silly. Nobody is forcing YOU to have a child, you're free to end your family line if you want. I doubt you're that shitty that your genes aren't even worth anything though, regardless of what you think yourself.
No. 2540314
>>2540281Double standards at work used to piss me off too. I'm the type of person that likes to take pride in my work, and that's an asset at my white-collar job, but when I was working retail it was a hindrance.
My biggest advice for working retail is to really just not care. The reason your coworkers get away with stuff is because they set the precedent that they don't care already. Since you act like you care, if you stop caring one day, then the management will use that as evidence that you're changing or becoming a bad employee. If you never care to begin with, then they won't care. If nobody else cares, then you shouldn't either, or else that puts a target on your back. Just do the bare minimum, never try to do more than you have to: show up on time, do what you need to do, leave. Don't try to improve stuff, don't try to change stuff, nothing. Follow the lead of the laziest most disrespectful employee.
No. 2540668
>no hyperfixation>depressed, lethargic, enjoy nothing about life>have hyperfixation(s)>happy, motivated, optimistic, full of lifethis is the eternal cycle of my existence
>>2540555im autistic and i have/had an autoimmune blood disorder that is basically gone now that im an adult, i also had extremely flexible joints but i never got diagnosed with anything
No. 2540702
File: 1748485476325.jpeg (260.47 KB, 720x720, autism lives matter.jpeg)
>>2530705late reply/blogpost but i think self-diagnosis is
valid, only if you genuinely do your research, not just "i read the wikipedia page for autism and took a couple quizzes online" type bullshit. i think we can all agree that a lot of people who self-diagnose are attention-seeking munchies, but i feel like those same people who are skeptical of self-diagnosis don't understand how fucking difficult it is to actually
get diagnosed if you're female and especially if you have a family who refuses to accept that their child is mentally disabled. it pisses me off a lot more than most when people argue with these talking points
>>2530730 because in my exhausting experience with the psychiatric field, just because they went through school and have the label of "doctor" does not mean they have insane amounts of bias when it comes to diagnosing boys vs girls.
i had a very stereotypical presentation of autism at a young age, most of my teachers in elementary school and middle school during parent-teacher conferences politely tried to ask my mom if i was diagnosed with autism because they were "concerned for me" in "normal classes" and wanted me to get more assistance with school, and she shut them down every time saying "she's just shy!" and stuff like that. i had to fight tooth and nail to be seen by autism specialists as a child and teenager, i ended up seeing about 4, and all of them came back with the same bullshit diagnoses of "ackshually you just have sensory processing disorder, social anxiety, ocd, and 16 other mental illnesses but TOTALLY NOT AUTSIM OK!!!" everyone around me except for my mom could tell i was autistic even if they weren't doctors, but because the actual doctors said i wasn't, i was labeled as a liar and "faking for attention" and never got the help i needed.
only recently could i get my diagnosis because i am an adult and my mom couldn't stop me, and i actually did my research on which doctor to see, and at the end of the evaluation she straight up said "how have you not been diagnosed? you've been the most obvious case of autism i've ever seen in a client". to this day i refuse to see male doctors because all of them are biased pieces of shit but that's a whole other tangent kek
tl;dr self diagnosis can be
valid in certain situations due to unaccepting families, bad doctors, and no resources for help otherwise
No. 2540719
>>2540702The unironic use of the meaningless term "
valid" is making it really difficult for me to take your opinion seriously. What the fuck does it even mean for something to be "
valid?" You do realize that before you get a formal diagnosis, you have the option of saying "I think I'm autistic but I can't afford the screening for it" (which is *precisely what I used to say before my diagnosis) instead of being all "I know I'm autistic because self-diagnosis is heckin'
valid doodz!"
Gatekeeping is necessary. Marginally helping a handful of actual autists with limited access to resources does not justify the incredible damage the whole concept of self-diagnosis has done to the community write-large. Every retard with blue hair and a septum piercing is lecturing people about her stim jewelry on Tiktok now, and it makes it impossible for autistic women to be taken seriously. It's genuinely humiliating to have a condition I've fought tooth-and-nail to mask my whole life be turned into a fashion trend by malingerers, in large part because of this self-diagnosis crap. Increasingly, peoples' idea of an autistic woman is an obnoxious neurotypical attention-seeker who dresses like a clown, claims to have fifteen other conditions, and goes by xe/xim pronouns. If the cost of avoiding or ending all of this is that some HF autists have to wait until adulthood to be able to say they have autism instead of just saying they
think they have it, then so be it. It's what I had to do.
No. 2540836
>>2539510A
nonnie earlier in the thread described her loneliness as being existential and I felt that…
No. 2540880
>>2540850Sounds avoidant. I'm like that too. I like being outwardly friendly, I don't like people getting too close. I can strike casual conversations because I taught myself how to, and I'm cheerful and nice. But I don't like being social, hard to explain but there's a big difference between the two.
>>2540836Agreed with this sentiment.
No. 2540920
>>2540555I have something but it's not clear what it is. They found antibodies that attack DNA in my blood, suggesting possibly maybe lupus, but supposedly the levels weren't high enough for a specialist to bother looking into. I see a doctor who specializes in the physiology of autists) and she is having me try altering my diet since she suspects I might have chronic mild allergic responses, ostensibly autists also frequently have mitochondrial issues and various absorption issues, so I have to take these supplements designed for that. I've had iron transfusions and vitamin D shots and nothing made a difference yet but it may just be that multiple things are wrong.
I'm very physically weak overall. I get a little tired just by standing or walking or sometimes just holding myself up. I've never been the pinnacle of fitness, but it also doesn't seem normal since I see people who are like 200lbs or elderly yet who are more energetic than me. Physically I look very small but I'm not visibly unhealthy and my weight is normal.
Autism as a neurodevelopmental disorder is comorbid with a bunch of misc things, like strabismus and GI issues. Slight tangent but that's why although I do think I'm also blessed with some unique strengths, I'm wary of the movement where it's only a social difference and nothing more. Yeah it isn't actually "bad" if I have a spergy personality but it objectively sucks that I had developmental delays and health problems that are still relevant into adulthood.
No. 2540926
>>2540702It's absolutely never
valid. You can't diagnose yourself because you're not a licensed trained professional. You can SUSPECT you're autistic and be right, but it's always just a guess and you cannot claim to be diagnosed when you're not no matter how accurate you think it is. And not being diagnosed is such a fucking non-issue, it's not your human right to use the autism label just because you think it might fit you. You can literally read every text, look up every resource, even lurk autistic spaces and apply any and all methods you can find to improve your life - and just never tell anyone about it and live your life. But the ONLY thing self-diagnosers want is to be able to say it out loud, to claim the label for themselves. The help and support the actual diagnosis opens up for some reason is somehow not something they need, which is curious since it's typically vital to us who are diagnosed.
If you claim to be self-diagnosed and that you "need" the support but just don't have access to it then you're just an idiot with shit priorities. That's like being diabetic and going "idk getting medicine for it seems so hard and expensive" if you were actually suffering and needing it you'd make it happen because it would be your ticket to having an actual life. Sorry but it's so retarded to claim being able to use a medical diagnosis while undiagnosed is "
valid".
No. 2540965
>>2540947I have diagnosed ADHD but my other neurodivergence gets masked with my ADHD-coded funnywoman persona.
I have a tendency to mutter to myself but I don’t know if that’s the tism or ADHD so maybe I might bring that behaviour to my next assessment when I try again for a diagnosis.
I want access to help in the form of recommendations for professional help with my issues and even government subsidies for any relevant services. I don’t just want the diagnosis so I can meme about it on social media.
No. 2540982
>>2540968There’s something off about me from a social and emotional standpoint
that is not completely explained by ADHD.
Psychiatrists are telling me it’s just depression and trauma but those conditions are a direct result of a lifetime of feeling misunderstood on a fundamental level as a neurodivergent person.
No. 2541425
>>2541192I feel like this when I have mania.
Was kinda weird explaining to psychiatrist that I am actually more asocial and talk less when in mania
>>2541203>>2541210I am both fat and have IBS, total win at life
No. 2541507
>>2541464I think its normal getting more retarded with age.
But my key moment realising that when I went to some furniture building courses, and I no longer was "that fresh smartypants that understand from the first word" anymore. That used to be me. Now it's some other people younger than me.
But for me its nor worry, just lethargy, boredom, sadness.
No. 2541526
>>2540965>>2540982>neurodivergence firstly that's not a real thing anon. Secondly, maybe the reason you keep getting assessed as not autistic is because you don't actually meet the criteria for autism and symptoms can instead actually be explained to be related to your ADHD. Why is that a bad thing, why do you insist you simply most have both on paper like they're pokemon and you need to catch 'em all? You already have a diagnosis on paper, you can literally just use that! And if you can't, then having autism on paper won't help you either and you're just chasing a unicorn for no reason.
And just to be clear, you can very well have symptoms that overlap with autism 1) without having autism because no trait is exclusive to autism, and 2) from mild "autistic" traits that are so mild that you still don't qualify for a diagnosis and thus do not have autism.
>Psychiatrists are telling me it’s just depression and trauma but those conditions are a direct result of a lifetime of feeling misunderstood on a fundamental level as a neurodivergent person.>neurodivergentAgain, fucking stop using nonsensical fake twitter terms already or you might as well troon out into a transmasc they/them enby because that's equally sensible. Multiple professionals are trying to tell you you're wrong but you're insisting being labeled with yet another word is what will magically cure you. That's madness. Treat your depression and work through your trauma, if you still feel you are autistic AFTER that, then sure go try again then if you wanna waste your money.
No. 2541662
>>2540965If you're a funny, charming person then you're very unlikely to have autism tbh. Being awkward doesn't signal autism unless you also have a hard time socializing/people generally don't like you or think you're the bad kind of weird.
>>2541009No one was talking about bipolar. BPD acronym is used for borderline only, no one uses it to mean bipolar.
No. 2541672
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>>2540929i hear this talking point a lot and it really cements that I must be a serious sperg since I still got diagnosed as a child despite being female and having old immigrant parents who to this day don't know jack about autism, culturally have a stigma against mental issues, and never really cared about my social life or bizarre behavior as long as my academics were good. Granted they didn't give up on ignoring it and hoping I'd grow out of it to seek professional help until I was 9 and the diagnosis wasn't until I was 12, so I wasn't super early-diagnosed, but it's not like those people who stealthed into adulthood either since even they started getting desperate and people outside the family were suggesting autism.
Ngl it kinda bothers me when people act like women and minorities are just so good at masking all the time that you can never tell. People clock me rapidly and constantly and now I usually don't even fit in autistic women's groups because most of the people there still manage to pass as a normie and have social circles and careers. I hate to play oppression olympian but it sucks that people who mostly get through life but kinda sorta suspect that they're a little off sometimes have become the face of autistic women while women who straight up didn't meet developmental milestones are never talked about. Sick of all the discussion in those groups being normie-lites going "am I overthinking or did I annoy my friend at work? Plz help am 'tistic hyperempath!" and it's just crickets when I need help with the basics of making friends, can't really work a job, and struggle to understand emotions.
No. 2542130
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>>2541785I'm not the type of person to react with "break up immediately" at every little thing but you should talk to him about how it bothers you. Every woman regardless of whether she's autistic should be comfortable to act naturally at home and being weird isn't mutually exclusive to having a good relationship.
I've dated 2 people and the first guy was constantly nitpicking me about not being normal over harmless behaviors and refused to believe that I have some different ways of communicating, instead choosing to assume the most negative uncharitable interpretation of my intent and get mad every time. E.g., if I said something in a roundabout way, he'd claim I was lying or insulting him on purpose. He'd openly talk about how other women were better and I didn't really understand that he was only really with me for sexual gratification and because he was an incel type who'd otherwise never be able to get a gf unless it was a very socially isolated teenage autist. At some point he broke up with me to try asking out another girl and she rejected him to get with his coworker lol. It really messed with me because I do recognize that I have a lot of "disordered" traits that can be inconvenient for others, so I felt like it was my fault and it was hard for me to learn that that he's still in the wrong for getting violent and intentionally hurting me over it even if it's not normal of me.
My fiancé now is very supportive of my autistic traits, he doesn't just tolerate it but also tells me that he appreciates various good traits that normies tend to not have. Even if I communicate something in a way that sounds odd or rude at first, he'll ask to confirm what I mean and give feedback on how I can express myself more clearly. It's kinda dumb but he also participates in my repetitive behaviors with me, like I have echolalia and I wave my arms and he'll do it with me because he knows it's a simple thing that makes me happy. He has diagnosed autism too but he has more sensory issues than social issues and had better childhood support, so he's much more visibly high-functioning than me.
No. 2542211
>>2541693Nah, YOU make fun of skinny women. And the way you say it makes me think you're in the anachan threads a lot. And also
>Fatties are grossjust proves the point
No. 2542895
>>2542765I can’t speak for everyone else but sometimes mental health professionals just suck at their job. I was diagnosed at 20 and for me it was a combination of an uncooperative father who was in denial about there being anything wrong with me (because he also fits the diagnostic criteria for Asperger’s and doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with him) and a very early (mis?)diagnosis of social anxiety and depression. All my social difficulties were attributed to social anxiety and everything else was either attributed to depression (even when it made no sense at all) or simply me “being difficult”. Me not being able to explain to the psych WHY I felt anxious in social situations was just me being difficult. Me not making eye contact was just me being difficult. Me shutting down during a session and going nonverbal for hours was just me being difficult. Any kind of stimming was just me being difficult/annoying for attention. They’d throw up their hands and accuse me of not wanting their help. Several of them (including a psychiatrist) had clearly not even read my file and assumed they knew everything there was to know about me based on the fact that I was a teenage girl.
Several of my teachers over the years clocked me as probably having Asperger’s and recommended me to get assessed but psychologists didn’t care; the line at the top of the file says “social anxiety and depression” so that’s what it is, end of, now take your SSRI’s. It wasn’t until I met a psych who actually believed me when I said that I didn’t understand why I burst into tears in crowded places that they even considered assessing me for something else.
Nowadays people I’ve known all my life regularly tell me how strange it is that I didn’t get diagnosed a decade earlier because I was such a stereotypical sperg, but back then those same people were telling me Asperger’s was a boy thing. I’d make them read excerpts from
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time because of how much they resonated with me and they’d go “no honey you’re not like that, that’s a boy”. Never underestimate how quickly public understanding of such concepts can change or how quickly people forget that they ever believed differently than they do now.
No. 2542997
>>2541014OCD / ADHD anon here, here's my advice:
>ERP I highly recommend dealing with a professional for this, because the whole shtick is they're going to basically expose you to the things you're avoiding, whether that's thoughts, feelings or behaviors, and then assist you in coping with that process. If you're ruminating about how your life is "over" for example, they'll ask you to fully form and speak/type the thought you have. They'll ask you to complete it and sit with the acceptance of it. "Maybe, maybe not. Maybe my life is over. Maybe I will never leave this place. Maybe I will never be happy with my sex, body, or gender." And then they'll ask you to sit with accepting that possibility. Over time, you're training yourself to observe your thoughts rather than accept them as truth. Because these ruminations may be influenced by remembered or real/objective events, but they are thoughts in your head and have no inherent truth to them.
I also take Prozac. I have no sex drive now, and I can't daydream, but I am not ruminating and doing insanely disordered things to cope with disordered thinking.
No. 2543029
>>2542895 > uncooperative father who was in denial about there being anything wrong with me (because he also fits the diagnostic criteria for Asperger’s and doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with him) and a very early (mis?)diagnosis of social anxiety and depression. All my social difficulties were attributed to social anxietySame here. From 12 to 16 my my dad had no choice but to go along with me to a childrens clinic because services got involved when my school was concerned. I was put on the highest dose of ssris they could give me and everything was quickly attributed to social anxiety and depression. I found it hard to express or put into words what I was feeling and once I was on that high dose of ssris it was even harder. They knew I was avoiding crowds but it never occured to me to mention the sensory part of my adversion to alot of places. I thought everyone felt that too and just deals better with it.
In my late twenties I requested access to my old files from when I went to that kids clinic. Idk why I did. I just got the urge to request it all those years later. Any notes that included things my parents had said had to be blacked out for their privacy but I pieced together that autism had been suspected at 12 and nobody ever told me because my dad interjected. I got diagnosed at 30. An 18 year delay from when a professional first picked up on it.
No. 2543082
>>2543029Damn, that sucks. Does your father know about your diagnosis now and how does he feel about it? Mine still doesn’t actually think there’s anything wrong with us but simultaneously thinks I should use my diagnosis to wring whatever I can get out of the government and any institutions I might find work with. Which is nothing, because I don’t qualify for disability income (due to not being diagnosed in childhood,
dad) and any accommodations I would have had a right to (as well as the position I had just landed itself) were suddenly scrapped due to massive budget cuts. Afaik there weren’t many available resources when I was in school anyway but it would have been nice to get something, or even just to be able to put a name to my weirdness.
>I found it hard to express or put into words what I was feeling and once I was on that high dose of ssris it was even harder. They knew I was avoiding crowds but it never occured to me to mention the sensory part of my adversion to alot of places. I thought everyone felt that too and just deals better with it.I know exactly what you’re talking about. I didn’t know that overstimulation was even a thing that could happen to your brain so on the rare occasions where I didn’t shut down under questioning I described it as tiredness. But tiredness doesn’t make you cry so that wasn’t an acceptable answer, apparently, and they would simply keep pushing until they got something they could work with. Crying means you’re sad, right? You feel sad? You feel sad a lot? That’s called depression, take these pills. You still cry a lot but only in specific circumstances like when you’re in a very crowded space and really want to go home but can’t? That’s social anxiety, here’s more pills.
It wasn’t until much, much later that I saw things like overstimulation, sensory issues and alexithymia actually being talked about outside of clinical psychology books about autism, which I obviously only started reading after my diagnosis. It’s part of the public consciousness now in a way that it wasn’t before. I think that if we’d been aware of these concepts and had words for them back when we were younger we probably would have been diagnosed much earlier.
No. 2543347
>>2542765I agree with the claim that there can be systemic and familial reasons that block girls from accessing diagnosis, so I don't think all late-diagnosers are fakers, but it's suspicious when someone rolls up with the increasingly popular "oh everyone had nooooo idea until I was 26 and saw something online that resonated with me!" story. I hear people say stuff like that they actually had special interests all along but it was normal girl stuff like celebs and makeup so they had a bunch of friends, or that they're hyperempathetic and good at masking so nobody can tell, and I just don't think that should count. It's one thing if nobody knows to assign the specific label of autism but it's another thing if nobody ever suspected that you were different in some way. The former is understandable since not everyone understands what autism is, but if you can't even name any significant non-normative social experiences, then it's dumb to claim a condition that's defined by having an altered social life.
>>2542895I loved that book when I read it as a child. I was also diagnosed with depression and social anxiety at first and a lot of stuff was misinterpreted or stemmed directly from autism. For example I didn't really talk to people because I fundamentally didn't naturally know "how" to start or maintain a conversation and had to teach myself things like how to vary tone of voice or remembering to say hi, and while I did develop fear, it was because people actually would repeatedly react in very unexpectedly negative ways because I was breaking social norms that I didn't know existed, not because I was irrationally pessimistic. I was unironically right in believing that my peers were creeped out by me and were actively avoiding me, in fact it was worse than I suspected, but therapists always assume it's factually incorrect just because it's unpleasant and think that you're just being hard on yourself because you're a teen. Even after I got diagnosed at 12 they still kept focusing on the depression/anxiety slant since that's all most therapists are familiar with so I completely relate that most just suck. I wanted to quit SSRIs because they did nothing but give side effects, but they always took it as "resisting treatment" and patronized me over it until I stopped negotiating and just quit despite their threats.
To this day people will assume by default that I must be insecure just because I don't fit in and I can't do some things that other people can, and get surprised when I say that I literally don't care because none of that detracts from my intrinsic human value. I face challenges but I usually externalize things as "people around me are being retarded and weird, they are persecuting me for being normal but I must be patient with them"
>>2542941My parents aren't that flavor of new age but they have some folksy beliefs and my mom has 2 funny beliefs about my autism. One is that it's like a natural built in nerf because she thinks I have a super rare genius IQ that needs to be balanced out by being a social reject—it was high when they tested, but it's not like Einstein level and I'm not super smart in the "destined to change the world" way she thinks just because I'm good at solving specific puzzles lol. The other is that I was "supposed to be" male in the womb and that's why I turned out really tomboyish and unusual for a woman. They are old and don't understand what autism is, and really don't like when it's treated like I have a mental condition, but they at least have a supportive attitude and get the general idea that I'm different in a way that will bring some strengths and some challenges, so I just leave them be.
No. 2544646
>>2544464>And suddenly they can't stand loud noises, lamps are too bright, they don't understand sarcasm at all and oh their clothes are too itchy and give them a meltdown!I'll be honest, my main way of telling fakers these days is to gauge how much they make their symptoms other people's problem. Those of us who have been dealing with it since basically forever are used to being gaslit about our sensory issues, so we've accumulated ways of quietly dealing with it. For example:
>oh, that lamp is too bright/that music is too loud!Do they ask the host to dim the lights/quiet the music, or just move away from the bright/loud spots?
>oh, my clothes (that I chose to wear today) make me itchyDo they wear different clothes tomorrow, or do they wear the same kinds of clothes and loudly proclaim to everyone how much sensory pain they're in?
>oh, I don't understand sarcasmDo they neutrally ask "Are you being sarcastic?" Or do they get annoyed with you for daring to use sarcasm in their presence?
This can apply to most things that aren't unavoidable.
No. 2545446
I need some advice nonnas. My sister is on the spectrum and recently she's changed for the worse. Our conversations have gone from being normal, with her infodumping at me for a while about something we're both interested in and then having a discussion about it, to her holding me hostage on the phone for fucking hours when she knows I have work the next day (if I hang up she calls me non stop until I pick up and just carries on talking), telling me the same shit she's told me in the same conversation, obsessing and nitpicking over things she knows I can't talk to her about because I don't know shit about the subject, and when she does eventually hang up she bombards me with a crapload of messages. She's never been like this before. She has her own friends that she talks to about her more niche interests and they haven't had a falling out or anything. She's always been fine with me telling her that I need to go or that I can only talk for a certain amount of time, but now she just ignores me and keeps talking, and on the rare occasions she lets me go, she'll call me at the asscrack of dawn the next day to pick up where she left off. I need to turn my phone off at work because she's somehow managed to forget that I'm not paid to listen to her talk for 5 hours on end. I can't let her monologue either, she keeps asking me for input on everything. She completely ignores any attempts to change the subject. She's started doing this to our parents and one of her close friends too, she's been bombarding her friend with nonstop messages about a hobby they're both in and it's all weird things she's never cared about, her friend is also autistic and she's getting really distressed by this because, again, it's at all hours including during work hours and at night, and she keeps pestering her for a reply.
She's not under more stress than usual, as far as I know nothing's changed in her life, so I have no clue what made her go from being relatively normal to being like this. I can literally have a better and more coherent conversation with my dementia riddled grandmother than with my sister.
Can anyone please give me any advice on how to deal with this and what could have triggered this change because I'm absolutely losing my mind.
No. 2545553
>>2545446>My sister is on the spectrum and recently she's changed for the worse.Be blunt and direct with her. Tell her that her behavior is upsetting and not ok and you won't tolerate it anymore. You need to set boundaries and hold to them. If she keeps calling after you hang up, turn off your phone or put it on silent. See if it's possible for you to get a work phone, and then don't ever give her the number to it. If she asks say it's because it's strictly for work. Tell her you can talk for 1h a day and around what time is acceptable for her to call (or whatever you're fine with) and that's it, because you have things to do. Tell your parents and her other "
victims" to do the same and offer to help them if they need help setting those boundaries.
I honestly don't know what could have set her off to act like this. My first thought is trauma, I've had an autistic friend (I'm also an autist in case it wasn't clear) act different and clingy after big messy breakup. She also had obsessive episodes following that. Try to ask her why she's acting like this when she didn't before. Perhaps she has no idea what you're talking about and thinks she acts the same, or perhaps she knows something about it. Any clue is good. And like the other anon mentioned, it could also be something like her medicine changing. How long has it been since she started acting like this?
No. 2546721
>>2546193Thank you so much
nonnie! The appointment is two months away unfortunately but it's still more than I thought I would get this year. I hope I can eventually get on disability. Are there any autistic/AuDHD anons who got on disability later in life and was it a difficult process?
No. 2546740
>>2545046I guess because I was always into alt fashion and weird stuff it never bothered me. I was a bit of an nlog but I didn't look down on them, I just thought "huh I would hate to have to go shopping every weekend and talk about TV romance dramas, instead of my super fun cool special interest that I love more than anything. Good thing I'm not like them that would have been boring for me!". So the boring people not liking me wasn't really an issue because I didn't "need" anything from them (like friendship or approval). To me it was equal to if an old man would come up to me and say "wearing a t-shirt makes you a slut because most of your arms are showing" I'd just laugh because I know our opinions on the matter are so wildly different and I have no reason to even respect or care of his, like why the fuck would I want to dress how this one single deluded old man wants women to dress? Makes no sense!
I guess in a sense, just reject them back kek
No. 2547226
Anyone else have a hard time figuring out what actually is autism and what is just meme autism because of concepts from self-dx advocates and tiktok/ig memes? Like someone will say that it's normal for autistic people to have t-rex arms, but that's just an observation from wrongplanet, it's not actually a clinical observation as far as I've read. Or stimming will be expanded to include just about anything, chewing on a necklace, jiggling a leg, nothing that's actually freaky. And what's worse is that some of this makes it back into real research on autism because they're "listening to the community" so now you have no idea what comes from clinical observations, empirical studies, or people on social media saying autists totally do X or Y.
I am pretty sure I have level 1 autism after making an exhaustive list of my behaviors from when I was a kid/teen, talking to parents, finding old journal entries I made, getting old psych reports, etc. But sometimes I remember something I did that might count, and I can't tell if it's an actual autistic feature or something that got popularized through social media. Even books that look serious like "Unmasking Autism" end up being written by late diagnosed self-dxers and are full of that sort of thing. It seems to affect anything having to do with 'female-presenting' autism especially bad. It also seems like there's a lot of overlap between having been gifted as a kid and ASD behaviors, and ADHD and even OCD. I don't think self-dx is inherently bad. But self-dxers should really not be involved in academic studies on autism unless they are always identified and separated. I don't need autism advocate academics telling me that some random shit "the community" says is female-presenting AuDHD.
I've thought of pursuing a real diagnosis but I don't know if it matters at this point, I have a million compensatory strategies I've come up with myself to cope. Maybe it would be more useful to talk to a therapist about growing up like this and how to continue living like this because I do think it caused me some serious harm when I was a teen. And then I look up therapists that deal with autism, they are all theyfab pro-self-dx "autism advocates", so I don't know if they'll actually be honest with me about my experiences.
>>2546769Deleting to add that I also pace and say words to myself while pacing up and down, sometimes for hours. I didn't even know I talked to myself while pacing. Apparently this behavior is part of the reason my parents took me to get evaluated as a kid. But they probably thought it was schizophrenia or something so nobody looked any further. Anyway I agree that if you can get a phone to record yourself, or a notebook or your laptop, write down the masterful essay you're composing in your head, at least then you have something to show for it. And it might encourage you to get started too. I've gotten a lot of great article ideas like this but you need to write it or you just end up ruminating.
No. 2547401
>>2547226No, people with actual diagnosed autism do not spend their days pondering whether something they do is real autism or "meme autism". Now this is not directed to you specifically, but why the fuck do so many you come into this thread to be like
>self-dxing is totes valid but should i get diagnosed I swear to god there needs to be a questioning autism thread for how often you lot shit up the thread with your repetitive questions.
No. 2547726
>>2547504>Entire paragraph arguing over things I never saidAgain, people with diagnosed autism do not obsess over whether something they do is "real autism" or "fake autism" because only people who want to get a diagnosis(whether
valid or #selfdx) obsess over whether they have "autism traits" or not. People who are diagnosed already know they are so they don't need to ruminate over it. Since you need it spelt out for you, having a diagnosis does not make one an authority however there is very clear diagnostic criteria that does serve as one. Lashing out at autists with "da meme autism is their fault" once your logic is questioned is funny, because you and I both know it's 90% self-dxtards who push it. The "substantial portion" you're claiming is probably majority autists making dumb jokes, not attempting to claim it's legitimate diagnostic criteria like the self-dxers do. In your attempt to diagnose yourself you're pathologising everything autists do. Yes, academia especially is pozzed however so long as you find a licensed psychiatrist that specialises in autism and isn't ~neurodivergence~ corrupted, you'll find they actually stick to the DSM-5 and are not gonna ask you "so do you do t-rex arms uwu". Maybe if you actually went to get diagnosed rather than compulsively watch audhdtok, you'd know that.
No. 2547833
>>2547726Then you've answered your own question, it's people who weren't diagnosed with ASD who need accurate information, or who were diagnosed and then undiagnosed. Of course we're going to come here, every single other autism-related space, especially for women, is pozzed to the gills and will give absolutely no useful information about anything or just spread all the folk beliefs among the useful stuff. I came here after looking up counselors in my area to talk to about how to proceed in it and they were all they/them neurodiverse-affirming autism advocates. They're just going to tell me I'm totally
valid and I need to self-dx and every trait I've ever had is proof of my autism. Even pre-social media as a minor, I've been taken to psychiatrists where they said there was a good chance I had Aspergers (back when that was a thing). They thought as a teen I was too old to do an assessment and they couldn't put me on drugs for it so they thought it wasn't a good thing to explore.
From what I've read it's extremely hit or miss whether adult assessments are actually thorough and useful or if they just give you the test for little kids. I won't be able to go through insurance if I do this so I'd really like to make sure I have a reasonable belief before getting started with it. In all likelihood it's too late for the diagnosis to make a big difference in my life, it would have made a difference back when I was a child or adolescent when I was consistently treated as purposefully defiant (by adults) or stupid (by children) for not understanding social dynamics. I work from home and basically only ever interact with the same 3 people in a week so I've created a "good" environment to not have to deal with my limitations. Maybe it would matter if I had to work in a normal office again, hellish.
No. 2548386
>>2548140Ive done 2 autism tests, once as a child and once as an adult, and they were both basically the same. You spend a lot of time taking an IQ test, in which you solve puzzles like using 3D blocks to recreate a 2D picture, repeating back strings of numbers, "what comes next in this sequence" multiple choice, vocabulary questions, and general trivia like "what temp does water boil at". You may take breaks where the tester just chats with you about whatever, but I believe you are being evaluated on conversational skills when they do this. Both times they had me "read" a children's picture books that's entirely full page illustrations with no words, asking for you to describe your take on what's happening on each page since there is no text. This is to see things like what types of details you're drawn to, how you view the world, and how well you can imagine/interpret/infer story in a picture. For example, when I did it, the conclusion was that I had very literal descriptions that honed in on details and didn't really talk about stuff like what characters are probably feeling or thinking. You also take a questionnaire either on paper or on the computer asking you about your subjective experiences, with questions like "I struggle to follow the flow of conversation" and multiple choice like "Strongly agree" "Agree" etc.
The reason I've done 2 is since I had to get rediagnosed because I moved countries and my past history didn't count on my medical record, plus the psych I wanted to see requires that she personally evaluates everyone she starts working with to make sure they're actually autistic
No. 2548736
>>2547226>Anyone else have a hard time figuring out what actually is autism and what is just meme autism because of concepts from self-dx advocates and tiktok/ig memes?If you grew up on tumblr or tiktok these "autism signs" were posted everywhere all the time even when I was a teen. I just casually read it all before it came to the point I was going to get assessed myself (as an older teen) and it hit me that I didn't know what was real and what wasn't from all the things I has casually consumed by accident.
>And what's worse is that some of this makes it back into real research on autism because they're "listening to the community" so now you have no idea what comes from clinical observations, empirical studies, or people on social media saying autists totally do X or Y.This too, this scares me. The fact that the professionals are equally on social media is worse, because they also absorb it all and take it as fact. I've heard a supposedly trained to deal with autism teacher tell the class that "aspergers" is an offensive term now and when an autistic student pointed out older autists still use it normally the teacher aggressively said those people are wrong or nazis. That's such fucking bullshit. I've also personally been told about all my "autistic powers" by a professional who was educated by social media on it. Needless to saw I did not have all those special autism powers. It's confusing to be told "ooh you do X Y Z because of your autism huh" and I have to sit there like "uuh no? Or do I? Is that a thing?". when I'm just trying to figure out what actual support I need for my autism.
>I don't think self-dx is inherently bad.I do.
>>2548386>didn't really talk about stuff like what characters are probably feeling or thinking.kek you reminded me that they caught me doing the same and though I didn't say anything in the moment I was so fucking offended and embarrassed about it when they later pointed it out. I have always been praised for how "nice" I am so I thought I was empathic and had excellent social skills, but everything I described was cold hard factual observations and not a single thing about anyones feelings. Like there would be a picture with a boy crying with his knee scraped and I'd go "Ah yes the boy is in pain" "how do you know that?" "his knee is bleeding" like girl really the fact that he's crying his eyes out isn't also a clue worth pointing out? His entire body language of holding his knee in his arms curled up on the ground? Apparently not.
>>2548386>The reason I've done 2 is since I had to get rediagnosed because I moved countries I'm actually likely going to face this issue soon since I'm also moving countries. I'm actually curious if now that I've worked hard on my social issues I'd be able to pass and NOT get diagnosed this time. I know I'll need the diagnose for work but part of me really wants to "beat" the test, even though that's silly.
>plus the psych I wanted to see requires that she personally evaluates everyone she starts working with to make sure they're actually autisticI wonder when and why she started doing that huh…
No. 2549016
>>2548828Hope you can change jobs and then write them shit reviews on all the websites online
>>2548996>Can you tell me about how it might make you feel if you receive a different diagnosis than what you were hoping for?On one hand it is great that she's actually doing her job, on the other it's so messed up that she has to write it out. Imagine how many people clearly just seeking out a certain diagnosis were angrily having am meltdown when they didn't get it before she actually took the time to write it out. I think therapy as a field is in shambles right now. Identity politics ruined it, they're now taught to harm their patients so the people with brains and/or morals left the field already.
No. 2549236
>>2549117I'm in the USA. I traveled several hours out of state in order to see her and it was expensive because she doesn't take insurance, on her page she explains that they pressure her to do diagnoses and treatments that might not be the best fit just because they're in vogue.
I was confident that she wouldn't support the gendie flavor of autism since she has advanced experience (phd as opposed to social worker) and is openly some type of protestant Christian, although she also had a big section reassuring that she will do her best to support you and be open-minded no matter what religion you have. On her intake form she asked if you wanted to include or exclude spiritual advice. A lot of people write off religious therapists because they think they will proselytize the whole time but tbh I think even if you have different spiritual beliefs, your chances of finding a therapist who respects your boundaries on that are now way higher than finding a secular therapist who won't judge you for being transphobic. Like I said many of the other adult autism therapists I found were putting "I love working with poly and trans patients!!" front and center and they would rant about how therapy is social justice activism for them instead of having the "I will try to be accommodating of your personal values" disclaimers. Since I do have some gendered struggles as autism makes me gnc in some ways, I really wanted to filter out any therapists who'd to try to push me to troon out.
No. 2549271
>>2549236she sounds great, I'm glad you have her. Extra surprising if you're in the US tbh, I'm in
terf island and still finding it difficult. But it makes sense that therapists would go for trans patients, they're an indefinite paycheck.
No. 2549382
One of the prettiest girl's I've been acquaintance with who is tall but not too tall, naturally skinny, natural blonde and has big brown eyes, good skin and looks fashionable in anything - ended up dating an ugly loser scrote. Said loser is also the ex of her long time best friend. He's an ugly manlet (shorter than her), meek nerd with a big nose (he looks similar to projared but even worse), barely has a personality, keeps liking other girls selfie posts in the middle of the night, and because they used to date for years he's literally fucked her best friend. I'm not sure exactly what she has but it's neither autism nor ADHD. I know she's diagnosed, just don't know with what. BPD maybe? She's unreliable and that best friend and her scrote (who is now her own scrote instead) are the only people she's managed to stay friends with.
Visually she's so pretty and perfect, she could have been living life on easy mode. All she had to do was to show up, but she could never do even that. After finding out they're dating I can't help but think my own autism isn't so bad, and neither is the ADHD of my friend. We had the odds against us but we somehow found partners who are cute and reliable and we're working towards building up our lives and are working on out flaws to cope and succeed. That girl just seemingly gave up and now she's stuck with that ugly sloppy-seconds loser, with some shitty part-time minimum wage jobs if she can be arsed to keep them. It's nice to know looks aren't everything, and that somehow we aren't the worst disordered people after all.
No. 2549936
>>2549586>Mine had the questionnaire too but otherwise was all talking.Nta. Anon… you've never actually gotten tested for autism then. And the fact that you don't understand why the tests are even relevant is a sign you've very possibly been misdiagnosed. Not only do they do tests that are relevant to autism, they also do test to see if it's something else instead/in addition such as ADHD or an anxiety disorder. For someone to be able to tell for certain you're autistic without even doing tests would mean you're
very significantly and noticeably retarded in the most stereotypical autistic ways and no other ways (in which case ignore the rest of what I said).
Basically what I think happened is that they've only let you do the screening questionnaire + light talking that determines if you should get tested at all, and concluded that you could get tested. But then they never actually did the assessment because they were quacks who couldn't be bothered and assumed you just wanted a diagnosis on paper anyway like all the other quirky kids, and hopefully they can sell you some meds and make you go away while also giving them money. It's like if you went to a doctor because your foot hurt and they touched it and you said "ouch" and they went "Yup, sprained. No need to x-ray, we're just gonna assume it's sprained and not broken, not swollen, not cracked, not in need of other treatment. Here's your meds for the sprained ankle only $99.99 per month!". It's also likely they simply didn't have anyone on staff who is actually qualified to test for autism so they just didn't test for it.
No. 2550193
>>2549586They are checking things like pattern recognition, language processing, numerical skills, logic, and spatial awareness. It isn't necessarily that it linearly correlates with autism but knowing these abilities helps your clinician understand the big picture of your intellectual abilities and possibly rule out or identify other issues. For example maybe someone isn't autistic but they just struggle with language, not because of the social/emotional aspect but the actual words and grammar aspect.
I had the option to pay extra for extra testing for learning disabilities, which I didn't do since it's not a concern for me.
No. 2550295
>>2549936I've heard of plenty of other people having the talk assessments, if anything the type of assessment anon is describing seems very rare for adults in comparison. Afaik there's no official one test for it so you can't really define what's a "real" test?
>would mean you're very significantly and noticeably retarded in the most stereotypical autistic ways and no other waysI did end up ranking in the severe category for all social related things, with the doctor noting that I'm basically incapable of having a two-way conversation of any kind and can't pick up on the basic social cues. I am extremely socially retarded to the point that it's not concealable and everyone notices it, if that's what you mean yeah.
>didn't have anyone on staff who is actually qualified to test for autismIt was a neuropsych who did the evaluation. Stuff like personality disorders, ADHD, and social anxiety had been ruled out at that point by my regular psychiatrist who had screened me for all that stuff before. That's how we landed on referring me to the neuropsych for an autism assessment because there was really no other explanation.
No. 2550336
>>2550295>if anything the type of assessment anon is describing seems very rare for adults in comparison.No it isn't, that's what it's included in a real assessment. Every adult I know who's been tested (some came out without a diagnosis) had to go through it. Talk-only assessments are a bit of a scam, but I can see them being done in areas with poor mental health care. While there is no 100% universal standard test they're (supposed to be) very similar and also different because they're tailored after your specific answers. For example if you score really low on auditory processing there's no point in testing for that specifically. I have gone through ADHD tests as an adult because they wanted to make sure I didn't have ADHD as well as autism.
I really wouldn't trust someone to be able to assess autism accurately just from talking. They have no idea how your brain actually functions if they don't look for the actual symptoms and signs and what patterns you follow, it's really just gonna be a wild guess from that person based on your "vibes" during that one meeting. There are a million other reasons why someone can come off as "autistic", like what if you're just nervous, shy, anxious, have trauma, are from another culture, have some other disability, didn't get enough sleep last night, has poor spacial awareness, has depression, is hard of hearing, find that individual scary to talk to? Not to mention a really big thing to consider is that
autism isn't actually autism (in a diagnostic sense) unless it reaches a certain threshold. To use the previous analogy - your foot isn't broken if your ankle is just sprained, even if the symptoms are similar and both make your foot hurt.
No. 2552459
>>2520833is there still an OCD thread somewhere? maybe archived?
I couldn't find one. maybe the last one expired already.
No. 2552606
File: 1749304870495.jpg (137.35 KB, 1024x1024, 1000016991.jpg)
I have adhd and depression and recently, at the prompting of my Psychiatrist, am trying therapy for the first time. It seems good so far (next session she will give me treatment plan) (no gendie shit), but I'd like to hear from similar anons what things helped them or to look out for since I lack experience to qualify how good the therapy is… I have issues with being easily upset over things I know are common with adhd (like being interrupted mid task), I still want to know how to manage them better, especially since I've developed multiple health conditions that worsen/trigger off stress…
I've also been trying to improve my living space to be more adhd accommodating if anons have any suggestions on that. Making like activity zones, doubling up on some stuff like cleaning supplies, etc.
No. 2552975
>>2552941No, but it could be that the dose is a bit high, especially after taking a break for that long? I've never had it happen to me personally but I've heard jitters can be an indicator of that. I'd give yourself a day or two and see if you adjust to it before worrying too much.
Make sure you are also drinking enough water and eating properly, could be dehydration or hunger.
No. 2555857
File: 1749480431025.jpeg (61.15 KB, 640x839, IMG_7476.jpeg)
I was diagnosed with Asperger’s back in 2007. The diagnosis is literally like a school slip saying I have it and need special accommodations. I’ve since moved countries and despite having some of the trademark symptoms I also have tics that come out when I’m stressed. It occurred to me the other day that I don’t have an actual special interest. Yes, I like anime, art and animals but not to the point where my entire life is taken up by it. My autistic husband is super into customizing guitars and programming games but he’s always over sharing about his hobbies. Whenever I see nonnies talk about how Jill is supposed to act with autism it just makes me believe I’m not autistic enough and gives me imposter syndrome.
No. 2555964
>>2555857Not all autists are the same,
nonny. I have OCD without compulsions and i simply don't relate to other people with OCD because mine is so specific and dumb. Still, i have OCD. As long as you feel your life has been made worse by your autism symptons, you are autistic.
No. 2555989
>>2555857The other anons have already chimed in with "you're totes
valid" so I'm gonna have to be the voice of reason and say it IS also possible you were misdiagnosed. Which if that's the case, is fantastic for you! Perhaps you're just a slightly awkward person with tics, and that's ok! I need you to realize having imposter syndrome over a disability is just… incredibly silly. You need to stop seeing aspergers/autism as an identity. You are you, the diagnosis is just a piece of paper.
But also to challenge your view of yourself
>Yes, I like anime, art and animals but not to the point where my entire life is taken up by it.Have you actually developed any other core interests/hobbies, or are these the ones that have stuck with you since childhood? Remember that Jill found MLP basically 5 minutes ago and then suddenly claims it as her "special interest". She decided she wants DID/autism and immediately made herself the spokesperson for the conditions. She literally jumps from interest to interest and doesn't even do the things she claims are special interests/passions more than like once a year (like sewing/designing clothes), if that. You keeping interests intact from childhood is way more aligned with autism than anything she does. It's ok if you don't have it to the degree it's a "special interest", but the fact still remains your core interests are long lasting and never stopped. Not only that but those interests (especially anime) are generally seen as childish things you should "outgrow" as an adult. Not all autists are inclined to share their interests either, so everyone doesn't sperg out about it because they don't seek that form of social validation.
No. 2556140
File: 1749492557096.jpg (24.48 KB, 512x384, 044a - Nasty Patty (002).jpg)
>>2556112im not intellectually disabled at all ive exceeded in any academics my whole life.. and i dont do it around random people i never said that, only people ive known for years. i swear you cant say anything on this site without clarifying every point to an insanely specific degree kek
No. 2556957
>>2555857First, I would say to remember that a hobby/interest doesn't have to be something productive. Stuff like browsing internet forums or binge watching shows could be a special interest, if it takes up enough of your time/thinking power. Don't let people tell you "that's not a real hobby" or whatever. A special interest can be anything.
But besides that, if there's not a specific thing that you dedicate most of your time to, it might be a good idea to get re-evaluated? I've met 2 people who wee diagnosed autistic as children but then got re-evaluated as adults and the diagnosis was rescinded. These people have no trouble socializing and have very normal social lives. Like they grew out of the awkward phase that made their childhood evaluators feel that they must be autistic.
>>2556097>Like thats almost a universal autist experience no?…no… is this trolling?
No. 2557187
>>2548386>IQ test, in which you solve puzzles like using 3D blocks to recreate a 2D picture, repeating back strings of numbers, "what comes next in this sequence" multiple choice, vocabulary questions, and general trivia like "what temp does water boil at".This is not related to autism, its a mini checkup on actual retardation to exclude it, its called MMSE and is regular procedure for older patients even at normal doctors visit.
>>2549926I dunno, I seem to have it since psychiatrist gave me lamictal, but she also said that concrete diagnosis on bipolar requires at least a year of mood diary. I am mostly in depressed phase and but my manic phase is completely different from what normies experience as in its not visible from outside, I am not reckless and I am actually tend ISOLATE more and talk less. But its when I just feel human for once and can thus fully engage in my special interests and have energy for stuff. I lose interest in socializing. When I am depressed I become desperate for connection and tend to do more stuff out of the ordinary in an attempt to get people to acknowledge me. And have random outbursts of crying. Another thing between those is in depression I am obsessed with health while in manic I dont care and cook a lot of experiments and usually gain substantial weight.
No. 2557206
>>2557185You literally said you still meow sometimes as an adult, and you don't care that it makes other uncomfortable at that.
And no, I honestly don't think that's related to autism at all. Any quirky kid could do that and grow out of it because they're kids. If that's not common among your peers you might get bullied, both of which depends on the local community.
No. 2557224
>>2552606I’ve already written down some meal prep and cooking hacks somewhere, maybe this thread maybe the last (I forgor), but here are a few other things that have worked for me and might work for you too
>clear mini pouches for organizing your bag, it can be a clear plastic pouch or a mesh one, whichever you like as long as you can see the contents>it’s best if each pouch has a theme (ie one for pads, medicine, floss… and another for makeup if you wear it)>it’s gonna be a massive pain in the ass but trying on everything you have in your wardrobe until you find outfits you like, then organizing them by occasion, weather and season, then taking a picture and putting it all in a visible folder on your desktop or phone so you can go through them and pick what to wear everyday without wasting hours on it>it’s extreme autism though and can take weeks if not months to try on everything with everything so you might have a better solution, but I’m just stupid>similarly, find your color season, yeah yeah people say it’s nonsense or whatever but it’s genuinely helpful for matching clothes>bowls and open boxes without a lid for organizing trinkets around the house>open shelves are a must, no doors as neat as it may look>find a place where an item can “live” and then return it there every time, eg keys on key hook at the front door>a planner platform or physical planner where you can see everything at a glance, so not a notebook style planner but one of those sheets or just an app that you visit often and can sync across devices>speaking of which, apps that sync between devices are a godsend, not all do>a password manager but write down the password manager account password so you don’t get locked out and keep it in a secure place>tldr, anything that you can outsource or automate, do that if it doesn’t infringe on your privacy>sadly this may mean you have to use google apps for things since there’s no good replacement for some>habit “stacking” is super helpful (ie you do several things one after another instead of remembering things separately)It isn’t perfect but these have helped me somewhat.
No. 2557406
>>2557148I think some of this list is incorrect. A lot of things described here could describe someone who isn't autistic, or could describe someone who is autistic but has worked for years to manage their disability to an extent that they can live a somewhat normal life.
>You're socially successful and have plenty of friendsPlenty of adult autists didn't have social success as a child but learned adequate social skills to be likeable as an adult. If you've
always been socially successful, that's another story.
>You enjoy unpredictable socializing (spontaneous outings, pop-in visitors)I also think this is something that can be grown into. Autistic kids tend to freak out about these things because they already have zero control over their life and are constant powder kegs of overstimulation and stress. An autistic adult who has more down time and can manage their stress might not mind if their friend pops by for a cup of coffee. Even if it is Cleaning Day and said friend
knows this. We might not mind.
>You have a wide range of varied hobbies/interestsComes from growing up. Most of us maintain the same special interests throughout our lives (I'm still doing most of the same hobbies as when I was seven years old), but we often pick up new and supplemental ones as we grow. This section makes it seem like autistics' interests are stagnant and fixed from early childhood.
>You're easy-going and adaptable to changeComes from growing up and living in a less stressful environment. I sincerely wonder if this person has ever encountered an autistic person who is comfortable and not under constant pressure. We're a lot more adaptable when we have enough down time to decompress and some control over our lives.
>You feel comfortable always being yourself (no urge to mask)Masking isn't even universal among autistics. Furthermore, a lot of us would be comfortable always being ourselves if we didn't face social consequences for it. Ironically, being able to mask (and identifying that you need to act differently at all) means your autism is not as severe as it could be.
No. 2557775
>>2556097I dunno about the rest of the post but seeing how others piled on you I just wanna say…I meow too. Not just at cats but at my family too.
>>2557224Crazy how much I had exact revelation lately lol
>open shelves are a must, no doors as neat as it may lookI love the look of doors, but damn I just cant manage to remember stuff I have with them.
>>2557406> Plenty of adult autists didn't have social success as a child but learned adequate social skills to be likeable as an adult. If you've always been socially successful, that's another story.Not bashing on you but in my experience, with other autistics, many of them did not feel that isolated as children even if they didn't had many contacts, they could manage to a degree, but with adulthood those skills actually deteriorate as frustration and hopelessness to be accepted just wears out the psyche.
So I dunno if I could agree. Frankly I have never met socially successful autistics even when they appear to be normal people or successful otherwise. Like I mean even when they can communicate in socially acceptable manner, they still can't build lasting connections.
No. 2558012
>>2557406>I also think this is something that can be grown intoI know plenty of autistic women who are extroverts and love random hangouts, especially ones who also have ADHD and who are a bit more impulsive in general. I agree that it's WAY harder as a kid, you were forced into interacting with aunts you barely knew or expected to play with cousins who were messing up your toys. At that age even just having to deal with not knowing what was for dinner was stressful, you literally have no control over anything ever.
>I'm still doing most of the same hobbies as when I was seven years old), but we often pick up new and supplemental ones as we grow. This section makes it seem like autistics' interests are stagnant and fixed from early childhood.Same, I'm both extremely rigid because my core interest are exactly the same but the way I've developed them is huge and expansive. If you looked at all the things I do separately it would look like I have a ton of varied interests, but at the core they're actually centered around the same thing. I believe it's actually the key to developing autistic kids (and adults) as much as possible, relate things to their core interests and they will have near infinite energy to learn about it. Instead of telling an autistic kid she can't just watch barbie over and over you can teach her to sew her own barbie clothes, then real clothes, and if they cook or ride a unicorn in the movie you can get her to cook or ride a horse "like barbie did". It's so effective!
>>2557775>Not bashing on you but in my experience, with other autistics, many of them did not feel that isolated as children even if they didn't had many contacts, they could manage to a degree, but with adulthood those skills actually deteriorate Me lol I was "nice" and just went along with everything as a child so I was popular with plenty of friends. But as a teen that stopped being as effective, and as an adult having no personality doesn't work at all and I had no idea to be the one to "reach out first" or whatever. And also despite me having friends back then I never truly felt close to them because I didn't actually get to do/talk about my own interests. To me hanging out was a draining chore and my true "fun time" was always playing by myself. Not every autist kid is bullied, but we still don't grow up to be non-autists.
No. 2558185
>>2533245I got an A and scored in the top percentile range for our final which was a standardized exam. Really glad I didn't give up even though I was so down on myself about this.
If this was me a few years ago I would have just bombed the rest of my score. Felt like a lie when people used to say it to me but the worst of ADHD really can subside over the years with enough effort and practice.
Although I got into the world's most retarded car accident just a few days after the final because of my inattentiveness so maybe I should get back on meds kek. I'm gonna die driving one day and it won't be for lack of trying.
No. 2558276
>>2558201Sorry you’re going through this
nonny, moids with ADHD are generally demonic and the very last thing you want in a partner for a serious relationship. I forget the exact statistic but there is a significant elevated risk of divorce in relationships when ADHD is involved
No. 2558813
>>2558752I could totally see autistic women congregating in a nunnary lol
Poor women even there they just wouldnt leave them alone.
No. 2560255
>>2558261I agree, you just can't have a disorder without the disorder that comes with it. Though being a sperg myself
>"I have a normal social life but im still autistic!" I'd totally say stuff like that simply because I now have a social life that's normal for ME. So if anyone asked I'd say "yes my social life is normal" but in reality that means I see my one close friend a couple of times a year (3-4) despite us actually living close to each other, I depend on my parents to help me do most stuff, and 1-2 times a year my internet friends will do a meetup or I'll go to some social event. To a normie I look very isolated, and I know this because they recoil in horror if I tell them stuff about my social life lol I'm just perfectly happy spending 90% of my time alone.
I was also never bullied and have always been friendly so people have always been friendly back and I don't have any long lasting trauma from childhood. At the core I really have the same social issues as other spergs, but my life hasn't been hard from it because I grew up in the right place at the right time.
No. 2560367
File: 1749725725511.jpg (211.59 KB, 923x1149, 20250411_225242.jpg)
I was diagnosed autistic as a kid, but I had neglectful parents. They didn't take my home life into consideration. I can't tell if I'm actually autistic, or just broken from never having been properly socialized.
Do you tell people you have autism? It's been my experience that it is basically labeling yourself as easy to take advantage of. Women will deliberately use doublespeak around you because it'll be harder for you to pick up on, and men will see you as easy to rape. Because quirky terminally online idiots are presenting a certain type of autistic, the fact that I am awkward and strange is worse. It doesn't make people nicer to me, it makes me an easy target.
I feel like my personality is a result of my upbringing, but I do feel like autism resources are helpful. I inevitably become best friends with women with ADHD or autism as well. I think I'm just ashamed to admit I'm permanently retarded, no matter how much I try to improve.
No. 2560376
>>2560370>and then they enjoy keeping me around because they view me as a freaky little pet. I don't care if they do that, if they like any aspect of me I'm fine with that. Some value me for my niche skills, some for my friendship, some for just showing up to do the thing. I don't care if my boss doesn't want to be my bestie and only cares that I do my job, that's fine! So I also don't care if someone likes me when I'm the funny one, or even if it makes them feel charitable to hang out with a sperg. Glad I could provide them with something kek
I think the main difference is I already have a couple of trusted friends, so I'm not missing out if a normie doesn't fully like "the real me". Child me was different and I had to grow into this mindset but now I kind of enjoy getting to explore different social roles, since they don't come fully natural to us spergs it's interesting to play around with them. While you never grow out of autism I think at least for some of us we had to grow into our adult brains to be able to explore social things normies do/learn as kids.
No. 2560530
>>2560445i'm glad at least someone understands. also sad that we have to go through this but at least i'm not alone in this.
>>2560524of course normies can be exhausting but at the end of the day they are just people. some of them are genuinely nice and understanding. one of the nicest normies i know is a mom to an autistic child. i can always retreat back into autistic spaces but i don't want to lose my socialization skills by avoiding normies altogether. this only leads to me forgetting how to talk to them and being even more of a freak.
No. 2560840
>>2560685DONT stay calm
Go mask off. Even amp up some of the hyperactivity and fidgeting, but not be much. Be neutral to the idea of non-stimulants
Masking lead me to take YEARS to get diagnosed, and I was going to psychiatrists trying their darndest to be "conscious" and "ethical." I had to go to a psychiatrist who'd prescribe you heroin if you paid her enough and had to amp up the fidgeting so hard I was practically dancing. My view is that if you think you have it, you probably have it. NTs don't like faking illnesses and most NDs who call normal-passing NDs "fakers" are probably just jealous
No. 2560984
>>2560445>it's hard to relax and trust their actual friendship with you because you are so used to being the pet retard.>>2560524>Why do you even want to be friends with normies?Nta to either post, but I switch it around. Most of my friends are spergs or have ADHD so my normie friends are my pet normies kek
Honestly the best option is to have friends from both categories, both people with your level of tardness and with normies. But I really do kind of mean it when I say they're the pet normie, I have normie friends and I see them like "wow this person cares SO much about not being seen without the correct clothes huh and her only hobby is drinking coffee and talking about hot dudes how dull but I'll entertain her for a while since it makes her happy. Will be nice to have actual deep meaningful fun conversations with my sperg friends later".
No. 2560991
>>2560685Literally just be yourself. Doesn't matter if you're nervous. Just be nervous then as that is part of evaluating your behavior, which is the whole point.
>>2560840>NTs don't like faking illnessesHave you heard of troonism?
No. 2561087
File: 1749764820431.mp4 (13.63 MB, 720x1280, I love the flexibility I have …)
Thoughts?..I think this would work out good for me once I get my own place and help me eat more in general
No. 2561425
>>2560367Same. In autistic spaces it feels like everyone had a hard time as a teenager but you really notice the difference in life outcomes and how much they struggle depending on if they had trouble socialising in childhood as well.
Britbong and the difference between autists who grew up in villages and the ones who grew up in the city is huge too, the village ones are much more stable and calm.
No. 2561872
>>2561114I don't mention it unless necessary, not even if the person I'm talking to is an autist who is talking about their own condition. I had to learn the hard way that some people will take advantage of your condition, and that autist males are still males looking for female
victims to manipulate.
No. 2562021
>>2561173>Don't want to break out the rice cooker every time you want a single serving of rice.But that's what it's for, it literally cooks it for you in 20 mins?
I'm fine with the concept of frozen rice though if that's what people want, whatever
No. 2562106
Do nonnas think i may have ADHD?
>unable to finish what i start since i was a kid
>executive dysfunction, it's hard to start things and to do simple tasks like putting my phone to charge, but once i get into the flow of the task i don't want to stop
>fast thinking/thinking absolutely all the time/music in head all the time to the point i can't sleep
>obsessed with a single activity (doing it literally the whole day non-stop) for 3 days to one week, then suddenly i lose the interest and don't want to even look at what i was interested before, i also often forget it. (leading to not finishing anything even if i put effort)
>can't follow nor make plans
>can't sum up anything inside my head, it feels impossible to think about things as a whole
>bad short-term memory, forget what i say exactly after i said it, getting confused in discussions because i forget what i were arguing about or what the person has said
>difficulty making decisions, need to think for seconds to answer simple questions or simply don't know how to answer because i can't make my mind up
>rocking back and forth the whole day
>touching my teeth with my tongue the whole day until my tongue is hurting (and still touching my teeth)
>can only read while i listen to music
>unable to watch a movie without feeling restless
>getting lost in my thoughts once i need to focus on something
>feeling rejected because of small things, being unable to not take things personally even when i DON'T want to take things personally, can't ever take criticism
>a billion ideas in my mind, only stopped once i got medicated for OCD
>things need to be new for me to be interested, otherwise i don't care.
>saying things i know i should not say but feel the urge to say them
>eating the same food every day for weeks, binge eating, or eating for the pleasure of it, specially when i don't have anything to do.
>people telling me to do things drives me crazy with anger
>lose things often, i put it close to me and it suddenly disappears
>avoiding boring tasks until the last minute or simply not being able to do it
>paralyzed when i need to do something that needs thought
>extreme sleepyness when i need to study
>if i'm not obsessed with something i'm extremelly bored and lacking interest in everything
>crying extremelly easily
>extreme jealousness
>constantly only understanding what someone said seconds after they said it (asking huh? and then understanding it)
>getting extremelly attached to people and thinking i love them in the first time i met them
>doing nothing the whole day if i'm not obsessed with something
>feeling extremelly worried about what i said in conversations after they end and feeling guilty, thinking about it non-stop
>feeling the extreme need to stop doing what i am doing if i'm not entirely interest, like feeling physical discomfort
>if something is planned, it's boring (even though i have OCD)
>feeling physical discomfort when i need to wait for my turn to talk
>careless mistakes, not seeing things that are wrong and are right under my nose
No. 2562118
I have ADHD; I kind of feel like I have autism, but I'm unsure about getting a diagnosis right now. I have always had concerns, specifically due to my social development. Recently, my mom told me that I was almost exclusively nonverbal until about third grade. I do remember kind of admiring my "friends" from a distance, but never speaking and relying on head nods, pointing, etc. I spoke around my parents and my siblings, but only small amounts. Enough to get my point across. I don't know, I'm also kind of torn between that being a possibility or just noticing the effects of childhood trauma. Or maybe my ADHD. I feel like I was just a little "off" to normies before I experienced any traumatic events. I have taken online assessments like the RAADS-R or whatever, but I am very skeptical about online assessments and do not take them too seriously. I still am very "off-putting" and it is much more noticeable when I take my stimulant. Is a diagnosis worth it right now? I do not know if it is acceptable to claim that I have autism without a diagnosis and therefore I will not. If I were to get one, how would I go about this? Is it expensive? It already takes so much time. Being an adult woman, I feel like it will take even longer.
No. 2562514
>>2562400Don't worry
nonnie, she's just being sarcastic
No. 2562748
File: 1749854016918.png (153.11 KB, 856x247, parallel universe.png)
does excessive hand washing always mean OCD or can it just be a by-product of sensory issues? i know a nona itt already discussed this topic but i don't feel like my behavior matches OCD even if the two can be comorbid. i don't have any ruminating thought patterns like "if i don't wash my hands x amount of times, y will happen," i just have bad sensory issues towards most textures touching my skin (especially greasy things), so i wash my hands asap when anything bad feeling comes in contact with them or else i feel really gross and start to get stressed out. i end up washing my hands like 30 times a day but i feel it wouldn't be this bad if i had full control over the cleanliness of my environment. it's definitely stressful but i don't think its something caused by obsessive thinking patterns, its just that the world happens to be a very greasy place and i don't like how grease feels
No. 2564767
>>2564492I have watched Dexter, but I'm confused on what masking you are talking about. Making up stories that you are actually just drug addict and bringing donuts to your coworkers? There doesn't even seem to be anything behaviorally wrong with him aside from his lack of pleasure in life, his temper is fine and he has no trouble understanding and sympathising with people around him. He is not a believe able psycho anyways, just traumatized normie too deep into illegal stuff to be helped. Why would you want to copy his behavior in any sort of way if throughout whole series he is utterly miserable and ends up
being shot by his own son? The morale is clearly that his way is way nowhere.
No. 2566622
>>2561872I get your general sentiment but I don't think autists are capable of manipulation…? That requires good social skills and charm. Of course autistic males could still be predators/rapists/whatever but it would be through force, not through manipulation.
>>2562106Some of it sounds like ADHD and other things sound like BPD (extreme anger/sadness/jealousy, being obsessed with people, can't take criticism, eating out of boredom etc) so might want to get a full psych screening done…
No. 2566709
>>2566622>I get your general sentiment but I don't think autists are capable of manipulation…?If you're serious you're
extremely naive to think that, and that is exactly why you are the perfect
victim because you'll just trust everything they say. You do know that a 4 year old will lie and try to manipulate their parents to get more candy or whatever else they want? It doesn't make much for a brain to be capable of it. We're also not talking about level 3 drooling retards, you do know Elon Musk is an autist? And you yourself never lie or twist the truth?
And even if they needed "good social skills and charm" to manipulate (which they don't, you can use a great variety of emotions like fear, attachment, guilt, shame…), remember that their
victims aren't normies - their
victims are autists/others who are even more naive, more retarded and/or less socially aware than them, like you.
No. 2567129
>>2562748I wash my hands a lot too but I'm not a germaphobe and don't even suspect that I could have OCD. There are plenty of not so sanitary things that don't bother me and I don't get fears about bad things like diseases or uncorrelated misfortunes happening, I just hate feeling greasy or like there's residue on me and am hypersensitive to it. It's not any belief about the future, it's just "I feel icky right now"
There can be overlapping behaviors but separate underlying thought patterns. When I was younger I had obsessions over things like needing to step on floor tiles in specific ways, which an OCD person might also have, but there was no irrational belief or worry motivating it. I was just really sensitive to the feeling of stepping on a texture and felt a need to have control over it so it didn't feel so unexpected and jarring. There are a lot of different things I do which look weird but aren't that deep and are just idiosyncratic likes and dislikes about textures and sensations
No. 2567207
>>2566622It depends on the definition of manipulation. Officially such things as for example " i wont do x if you wont y" are considered manipulation, but I personally see it more as setting boundaries on how much are willing to compromise. If you wanna get something from me you gotta also give in something, it isn't unreasonable.
Also by the way people define manipulation, in a way masking is manipulation.
What autists dont really do, is that they dont manipulate with intent to control specific person. They just want something in the moment and will immediately fuck off if you meet their demand. They don't really spin a web of
triggers like intentional manipulators do.
>>2567093> i majored in STEM thinking that's where awkward weirdo losers goLol I majored in arts related field, but previously also studied IT stuff and let me tell you all of the weird awkward losers are actually in arts.
No. 2567208
>>2566622Anon
>>2566709is right. To be really good at manipulation and make it difficult for others to detect of course it helps to be charismatic and have good social skills, but that’s not necessary. “If you don’t do what I want I’ll cry and scream” is a form of manipulation. Toddlers are notorious for this, and it often works! Even pets who whine and act like they’re starving despite being well fed because they want a slice of your pizza are manipulating you, though (probably?) not consciously.
Plus like other anon said, autistic men target autistic women for a reason. We’re extremely easy targets who got the same female socialisation as other women but are much more likely to take them at face value. We’re more likely to sympathise with autistic men since we know what it’s like to be autistic, ostracised and misunderstood, and project our own good intentions onto them. My support group after diagnosis actively cultivated this behaviour and tried to make the autistic girls into protectors and emotional support animals for the autistic boys. It was really fucked. One guy would literally slump onto the floor and mope when I said no to a hug and other girls would jump in to console him. The supervising psychologist praised them for this and reprimanded me. I was expected to empathise with him because of my autism, but he wasn’t expected to empathise with me or respect my boundaries because of his autism. Men don’t need to be at max charisma to pick up on this dynamic and exploit it.
No. 2567262
>>2567228Yeah, it’s common for teachers to “temper”
problematic boys by pairing them with a quiet, studious girl who then basically acts as his nanny, tutor and emotional punching bag. They pretend this is mutually beneficial but the girls get nothing out of it and in fact suffer stress and a drop in grades as a result. It’s parasitic.
>>2567234Their reasoning was that rejecting physical affection is an undesirable autistic trait that makes it more difficult for other people to relate to me, so learning to put up with hugs from stinky creeps (who had no interest in hugging each other, for some reason!) was valuable social skills training. We also learned about boundaries and “no means no” in theory but I guess that only applies to other people.
Ngl I was kind of relieved when Covid happened and nobody was allowed to touch me anymore.
No. 2567382
>>2567210What is confusing is all of it
>My sensory issues is triggered by noise and smell>so I get annoyed when anons claim that nobody on the spectrum can handle makeupSo you get
triggered by some things, and therefor people arguing that
other common triggers (touch, the feeling of having something on your skin, though smell does overlap) bother autistic people annoys you? Also it feels so targeted to something else on the site since anons in here weren't saying anything about makeup? Feels like we're missing the entire context to why you posted this. Most people in this thread are very aware that sensory issues come in all forms since we don't all have ALL of them at once.
Though sometimes people point out things like that tiktok fakers wear thick layers of clown makeup every day
while also claiming they're autistic with sensory touch issues when that makes no sense specifically in that context. No autist who has sensory issues
triggered by makeup would then just go on and wear it anyway, so I can see anons mistakingly thinking you're arguing against that instead of what you're actually saying (that people have different
triggers). My favorite faker example is forever autism-faker cozykitsune who claimed she gets an autistic meltdown if her hair touches her neck due to severe sensory issues, when in 99% of her pictures and videos before that spanning back years her hair indeed touched her neck - and as soon as she had forgotten she ever said that she went back to longer hair that touches her neck again. It's just so bold to claim it when everything you've ever said or shown disproves it!
No. 2567390
>>2567200i have the STEM degree and don't understand how to pivot from this especially when the job market is bad. i may have more natural interest and aptitude for like research and writing but i don't have those skills from my formal education.
>>2567207i was going off of male tech nerd autist stereotypes unfortunately and thought that had to be me.
No. 2567399
>>2567208>My support group after diagnosis actively cultivated this behaviour and tried to make the autistic girls into protectors and emotional support animals for the autistic boys.Similar experience to me. Happened in an adult support group, the therapist leader tried to cure a loser guy of his crippling incel-loneliness by setting me up to date him. She at first told me about it like "you should hang out with him as a friend" and after I had said ok to it (because I had no friends and needed them) she started insinuating things like "you don't
have to date him, just
start as friends" that I only in hindsight realized was because she fully intended for me to date him all along. And that was despite this lady knowing I had no interest in dating whatsoever, and that guy was a misogynistic creep who defended rapists. He became obsessed with me and it got really out of hand. I still fear him. They created this problem and knowingly put me in danger of him just because he was sooo sad he couldn't get a girlfriend to fuck and I was the sacrificial lamb to fix it for him. I've never been back to that whole autism department since I realized it, I can't bear to talk to any of them out of anger.
No. 2567405
>>2567401No, its like… an
understanding that there is a whole universe out of your lived experiences everytime you step outside
No. 2567418
>>2567382I think you simultaneously read too much into my post while also completely understand what I mean. I am not bothered by what other people's
triggers are, and what I wrote was not meant towards any anons ITT - but rather how anons react in general regarding anyone saying they have autism but also wear makeup. While it's a great tell on who is faking - but this misconception also spills over in threads where a faker isn't even claiming to have sensory touch issues. Someone can just say they are autistic (actually true or not) without any further comment on it and anons sometimes lose their shit if they are also wearing makeup. One of the examples when I've seen it from the top of my head is Jill's thread, we all know she isn't autistic but out of all things she has never straight up claimed to have touch sensory issues, but that is still what some anons get hung up on from time to time. She doesn't even use cutting off her hair as an opportunity to claim sensory issues, she stuck to her trichotillomania excuse.
My issue however, isn't so much the sensory issue difference debate - my main gripe is that a lot of anon zeroes in on a lot of misconceptions and stereotypes and dig their heels in whenever you try to explain, doesn't matter if it's mental illness, autism or whatever else - they consider their opinion to be global, and if you or your experience doesn't align with it then you're a liar.
I hope this doesn't come across as too messy, English isn't my first language and I have struggled before with trying to get my point across on how inflexible a lot of anons are with trying to see things from a different angle.
No. 2567911
>>2567390Any interest in teaching? Science and math teachers are in high demand and they will even pay for you to get credentialed while on the job.
>>2567394>>2567405No. This sounds like schizo/paranoia or some shit.
No. 2568527
>>2567411>Did she have any clients after that?She went on as usual for all I know. Nobody cared what happened to me or how he acted because he was just a poor lonely manbaby and I was a meanie for not giving this unemployed incel loser a chance. I'm very decently sure they even kept encouraging him to keep trying to contact me after I had already cut all contact out of fear. I can't prove it but there's things pointing to it, I think he lied to them and acted like the
victim to get them on his side. But I informed the department that I couldn't come anymore because I feared running into him before I left, they just let me go.
No. 2568545
File: 1750239455068.jpg (104.69 KB, 395x543, -Crosswords-Jul-2023.jpg)
>>2568384>The depressed phase is creeping in. Idk what to doStay active! Doesn't matter what you do, just do something as much as possible. People don't take me seriously when I say this but boredom really is the biggest depression feeder. My recommendation is that you take at least 1 walk outside every day, and that is your most important task every day. The walk itself is a medicine against depression so you have to do it even if you don't feel like it in the moment - it's your daily pill. I'd aim for at least 15 minutes. You can check the time and walk for 7-8 minutes, and then just turn back and walk home - congratulations that's 15 minutes of walking done!
After that you have to keep your brain active. Avoid passive activities like watching movies or scrolling social media. If you feel like being mostly passive, read a fictional book so your brain has to do some work to follow the plot and you will have to turn the pages to keep going. The tasks don't have to be "fun", you can just clean a shelf or sort through items as long as you keep your brain busy. If you get stuck and can't think of anything to do, grab some physical puzzle games like crosswords or sudoku. They often still sell big crossword/puzzle magazines for adults like that in stores so buying one is worth it to always have an easy to do task around! You can even grab one for kids too, no shame in making it easier as long as it keeps your focus. Keeping music, podcasts or audiobooks in the background also helps as it forces your brain to focus on that instead of depressive thoughts.
Basically, you want to cut off rumination. Don't let your brain make all those depressed connections and spiral further into itself. You replace them with innocent connections instead. Your brain will eventually recognize the pattern and instead of jumping to "I should think about depressing things" it defaults to thinking about the other things. Brains work on association like that a lot, which is why "
triggers" can activate negative thought-patterns. You want to stop those patterns from forming, and weaken (and eventually get rid of) the ones you already have by creating these new patterns to replace them.
Whenever you catch yourself depressed and thinking "but I don't feel like doing that" stop and remind yourself "though it IS better than literal depression, so I guess I might as well do it". Not every day is gonna be perfect, but keep trying! I used to be suicidal on the daily from depression, I'm no longer depressed at all so I know it can be done.
No. 2568702
>>2568630But why does this embarrass you? Is it really embarrassment, or is shame? It sounds like you hold yourself to lofty standards and equate change with failure. People go through phases, people pick up and drop hobbies, people change - it's a natural part of being.
Reading, watching films, and playing video games are all hobbies. It sounds like you're a creative person based on your interest in writing, daydreaming, and imagination. RP and fan-fiction aren't 'dying out,' but they've always been a young person thing. A lot of people that were writing fan-fiction in their youth switched to writing fiction as they matured. Why don't you try your hand at writing an original story? It might be very engaging for you, especially considering that you already use the Sims to fulfill your desire to craft characters and fantasies.
>people keep saying that we need to have proper hobbies and create stuff with our hands but it just doesn't give me anything.And a lot of people say we need to believe that the Earth is flat too. Why do the opinions of others matter so much to you?
No. 2568890
>>2568630I think you're either stuck in the technicalities of being a beginner (so focused on getting the steps right you can't let your mind wander), or you just don't like working with your hands (which is fine).
After some experience, every knitter I know does it while watching shows and stuff. I specifically love this stuff because I can sit in one spot and daydream and still make something creative, and I love the mechanical feeling of working with my hands. But a lot of people don't like this type of hobbies, so it's not weird if you don't.
No. 2568916
>>2568702>Why don't you try your hand at writing an original story?i used to do that but that's not engaging for me either. i like the social aspect of rping and the feedback i used to get from writing fanfiction. i usually don't have any original ideas, i just like rotating scenarios in my head until i get sick of them and move on to new ones. so in a way i'm not necessarily creative, just obsessive.
anyway, my main problem is wasting money on shit i don't care about after a month.
>>2568890you might be onto something because i have genuinely bad hand/eye coordination which is very apparent when i play video games with QTEs or complicated button sequences. thanks nonna, your comment actually made me feel better.
No. 2569018
File: 1750265590380.jpeg (315.02 KB, 860x563, IMG_9253.jpeg)
I hate that I'm stuck like this forever. I've been diagnosed ADHD since high school and as a middle class burgerfag life seems bleak. I don't think I can hold an office job for the rest of my life. I'm in STEM with a lot of tryhard moids and I feel so much shame for not being able to keep up. I wanted to be an artist but I found that trying to do art as a job (e.g. commissions) sucked all the passion out of the hobby for me. Also I basically just draw animu without any fundamental structure because I can't be assed to learn. I am pretty good at what I do but now every day is a fight with imposter syndrome and an argument with the pharmacy. I hate that I have to take amphetamines to get out of bed, much less basic chores like cleaning my house and doing laundry, much much less real stuff I need to do like work. My social life is destroyed too. I can only keep close friends with other people that have ADHD, my two best friends and my partner all have it. I find myself drawn to hyperactive people to balance out my inattentiveness. I hate that I am a chronic flaker and have a hard time keeping up normie friendships because of it. My medication makes me a functional human being but I don't have the energy to find any joy in life. It really haunts me that beyond medication there is not much I can do to feel "normal".
sage for self hating sperg
No. 2570935
>>2570267I was thinking a defense of how it was just an uncontrollable violent autistic meltdown in reaction to what happened instead of intentional harm. For the UK kid, it seemed like it was a reaction to getting rejected. He even said he mind went blank and he had no idea what was happening, pretty much a spot on description of a total meltdown. Kinda similar to that US kid who beat his teacher into a coma for taking away his video game, I'm surprised he's getting the full trial and charge as well. Different from Kohberger because his actions weren't an instant reaction to upsetting stimuli.
There was a schizo in Canada who beheaded and ate a guy on a bus and he was found not fit for trial, just put in a mental hospital for some years and medicated, and then let out scot free. It's interesting which disorders are considered
valid for reduced culpability and which aren't.
No. 2571122
>>2570699where do you live, us?
>>2570935who was this, what was his name?
No. 2571408
>>2570699That's awesome. Not how America works, unfortunately. Disabled people are just seen as a burden and a liability (and sometimes even a potential danger, if it's a job in sectors like education or healthcare)
>>2571171Dunno where you're from, but in America you have to explicitly disclose your disability to get any accommodations. You can't get any if you're not disabled and don't provide documented proof. It's called the interactive process.