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No. 2507010
Discuss all topics pertaining to ADHD, ADD, or ASD experiences as a woman here.
Talk about the difficulty of diagnosis as a woman, the struggles that accompany ADHD/ADD/ASD, or share strategies that you developed to help cope with your diagnosis. Share your advice to cope with your issues related to your ADHD/ADD/ASD.
Or even discuss your thoughts on how recent attention to ASD/ADD/ADHD on social media affects those really afflicted.
Previous threads:
#6:
>>>/ot/2346005 #5:
>>>/ot/2022269#4:
>>>/ot/1687145#3:
>>>/ot/1438835#2:
>>>/ot/1198440#1:
>>>/ot/586560Anons with ADHD, ADD, & ASD should all be best friends. There is much strength to be gained through unity. The spergs need the ADHD crowd to tell them when they're being retarded, and anons need spergs to tell them when they need to focus. We unanimously refuse the balkanization of this thread. Our resolve is represented through the choice of thread picture.
No. 2507186
>>2507073Same. I usually don’t feel all that lonely until I go out to socialise and I run into something that feels like an invisible wall between me and other people. The more I run into it, the more it hurts, and the more likely I am to go back to isolating myself. Then after a few months of that I forget about the wall and go out there again, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, certain that it will be different
this time and I’ll be sure to have a good time
this time, only to run head-first into the wall again. I’ve had CBT from a social anxiety specialist (who admitted she knew nothing about ASD) which only ended up making me feel worse in the long run because even when I’m at my most optimistic and confident, other people didn’t get the same script and still treat me the same way they always do.
Anyway, I’m wondering if anyone has some advice on how to deal with it when people are rude to you. For example, one thing that happens very often is when I’m talking to someone and a little circle of people forms, and then someone steps in front of me and cuts me out of the circle. Often they knock into me with their bag or even step on my toes. Usually when I say “hey, excuse me” or something along those lines, they just ignore me, and I don’t want to start shouting or physically shove myself back into the circle because that would be rude too. So I take that as my cue to leave.
Another common thing is that people start loudly talking over me when I’m talking. I used to think this was a sign I was going on too long, but they even do this when I’m only on my first or second sentence. If I stop talking to let them finish I never get another chance of getting a word in, and if I raise my voice (because maybe I was talking too quietly and they didn’t realise I was talking already?) they raise their voice too to continue talking over me. Again, I don’t like shouting, so this is my cue to shut up. The worst is when they start talking about me in third person like I’m not there, but fortunately that doesn’t happen very often. Usually they just act like they never noticed me there in the first place.
On one occasion a coworker sat down on my very small desk while I was trying to work and knocked over my (fortunately empty) coffee cup onto my keyboard. She didn’t apologise and no one else in there room acknowledged that anything happened either even though they all saw. When I told her to find somewhere else to sit everyone just laughed and she didn’t move, so I grabbed my laptop and went to work in the hallway.
We never covered any of this in social skills training. Instead we focused on recognising basic expressions on cartoon faces and learning how to be less of a nuisance. The assumption was always that if there’s some conflict between an autistic person and another person, it’s the autistic person’s fault for being socially awkward. So the only conflict resolution we ever learned was how to apologise, never how to effectively stand up for ourselves. Has anyone ITT ever had something like assertiveness training? Did that help?
No. 2508454
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>>2508405I finally found this
No. 2508734
>>2508463Yeah
Can you just titrate the dose yourself? What are you taking?
No. 2508743
>>2508454This is absolutely beautiful
>So I turned to a group that was hated by my original community, that is, the NarutardsKekkk
No. 2509076
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>>2509069The cover art is so intense and serious. I guess they have their own religion too? Kek
No. 2510311
>>2510305>A therapist told me to practice recognizing "small" feelings like contentment when you eat a food you like, but it didn't help me that much. I also started keeping track of my mood each day (good, neutral, or bad) to force myself to think about it more. I think maybe it helps a little.I try to journal regularly and this is along the lines of what I have mostly tried. It's not really working for me either.
>Normally, I can only tell my emotions because of how they physically manifest. Like I know what happiness feels like in a somatic sense more than an emotional sense.I will try to do this maybe then. Focus more on behavior and physical aspects. Thank you. I already recognize some stress behaviors but will focus in on what I am doing.
No. 2510414
>>2510302Keep a journal (can be digital in your phone) of every time you do recognize a feeling. Write down what you think caused it like "happy - favorite team won, new anime episode dropped, ordered a book i've been eyeing for a while, had a nice dinner". Think about and write down anything else you feel too like "energized, comfy, sleepy, full, bored".
Eventually you should see patterns like "I tend to feel happy after eating food I like, but it also makes me sleepy. I'm also happy after buying things online, that gives me energy and I get more active to go out". It forces you to think about your actions, your mood, and how they connect. The connections you make like "food = happy + sleepy" makes your brain create neurological pathways so you remember it easier, which in turn makes it easier and easier to identify how you feel based on your "data".
No. 2510496
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>>2507186Made me realize why I hate all the recommendations on adaptations for autists.
You ARE a nuisance to them, all they want is for you to disappear. Make yourself smaller, less auspicious. Autistic ""help"" is entirely focused on how to resign in appealing to normies.
It completely ignores autists own needs and mental health. You are not allowed to be, en principle. They don't care that constantly pretending and playing by their rules is hurtful to you and breeds self hatred, anxiety and depression. All the complaints on your own feeling of alienation are completely ignored, it only matters insofar as it bothers other people.
I reality contrary to normalfaggot advice, being brash, principled and unapologeticly You, instead of adapting to gay ballistic patterns, will lead you to net higher benefit. You will never be truly part of their community anyways, but being confident and not giving a fuck will force them to SEE you and reconcile with your existence.You will start to occupy [space]. Which is when you can actually heal and start to feel human. Being a pushover is literally the worst possible advice you can give any person but for some reason it's OK to tell that to an autist and then flap your eyes like you are innocent. It's all unironically malice and those people are not on your side.
No. 2510564
>>2510496Kek kinda this. I noticed when I was a pushover at work and helped everyone nobody actually liked me or respected me. Now when I openly say "no" to things and simply don't let people tell me what to do and do my own thing anyway, people still don't like me but they don't make attempts at pushing me anymore. They simply backed off. 3 years ago I was basically scared of saying "no" at work because I thought something bad was going to happed or I will be fired, but I stayed because I was a good employee and I got an idefinite period contract and after that I gradually gained more confidence. Then when I started pointing out double standards and hypocrisy (how some people are allowed to slack off but not me etc. despite working slower than me) and openly talking about bullying I experienced from one of the coworkers, I got pushback from many people from my work and they openly started to show they don't like me, talked behind my back, said I faked illness when I was literally post surgery, or how my tone is "rude" when I say something kek. But I stayed anyway and continued to do my shit and say what I think and refuse to do their job for them. Now they simply backed off, they still don't like me, but nobody even tries to get in my way or simply tell me what to do because they know I won't let them. I won't finish someone's work for them because they decided to have a chit chat for 30 minutes instead of working, I won't do a certain thing they asked me to do because I know that it is not an established rule to do this certain thing and I will not do it until it is established during a meeting as a new rule etc. I refused to come to work extra on sunday too when my shift leader told me "they have nobody else to plan but me" and I was like sorry but you have 10 different people besides me, and I took vacation for monday and tuesday and I have a long weekend with activities planned for those 4 days, so it's not happening. So she let go. Back in the day I would simply agree for this shit kek. I was the only person who refused to give money for manager's wedding present because I said it's ridiculous to pressure employees to give money to someone who earns more than them and is basically a stranger and I refused to do a bunch of other retarded stuff I had "peer pressure" to do. I love to see the buffering visible on their faces when you simply say no to them.
No. 2510658
>>2510496It's not that all adaptations are bad for autists, it's that normies think normie advice works for autists when it doesn't. It's like
>>2510411 said just speaking your honest mind gets you labelled with a disorder. Similarly to what you're saying I swear by just being yourself and accept that you're generally always going to be the quirky one. That gets you the furthest in life. When you apologize basically just for existing people see you as weak, but when you just walk in like you own the place people think you know what you're doing so they just accept it.
It sounds retarded, but following quirky successful celebs helps you see it. Lady Gaga gets to wear a dress made of literal meat and still be famous and beloved so why can't you be a bit quirky too? Most of us aren't even
that weird in comparison to what celebs do!
No. 2510731
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>>2510722I was literally about to post about this non, i started concerta 18mg. I’ve been taking it in the morning and eating protein. It just doesn’t work other than the morning. I’m an autist too so maybe that adds to it. But strattera worked way better than this, probably because it’s 24hr. I don’t know if i need a more intense stimulant or if I should just go back to strattera.
No. 2510761
>>2510754Bro you're just not trying hard enough to be normal bro try more not having those thoughts and going out and liking people more bro (
yes I'm just parroting that anon from the previous thread)
No. 2510783
>>2510770>Maybe, just maybe, they're not "trying" and just happen to actually be on the more normal side of the spectrum than you? Maybe, but those types usually shame the giga autists and thats my problem with them. They put us amd our symptoms down to get NT approval
>What's even your problem, that other autists aren't autistic enough for you to hang out with them? That they're accepted by other people and you're not?Yeah? I think thats a pretty undesrtandable and human feeling to have. Normal people will never understand or like me due to how fucked up I am, I thinks that a pretty reasonable cause for envy and mental anguish
No. 2510848
>>2510305This is what I was taught too, mostly in the context of anxiety. They told me to try to identify my body’s reactions (increased heartbeat, sweating, being jittery) and try to contextualise those. This doesn’t work as well for other emotions though because those mostly express in the same way for me; insomnia, irritability and/or crying. I also cry when I’m overwhelmed. For ages I just thought I was sad constantly because I cried so much. I was in my twenties before I learned that crying doesn’t always = sad, it can be caused by other things, too. Blew my mind.
>>2510496Ayrt and I kind of agree. I understand why some behavioural concessions are necessary for a functioning society etc. but the problem is that this isn’t applied equally; I’m always the one making all the concessions. I’m the one always staying quiet so others can speak and removing myself to make space for other people. And the other anons are right that this does not endear me to people even though I’ve been taught it should. Instead people treat me like a nuisance anyway, and respect me even less. One woman literally got annoyed with me when she stepped on my foot because it startled her that SHE stepped on MY foot and I should have prevented that from happening somehow, even though she’s the one who walked up and decided to try and occupy the same space I was already standing in. What was I supposed to do, dematerialise? I can make myself as small as physically possible and people still get annoyed with me for existing at all.
The main problem with the social skills training I got is that it was clearly developed for stereotypical male autists who need to be taught basic consideration for others and not girls who’ve received the full brunt of female socialisation from birth. It was basically female socialisation on steroids. Be quiet, make yourself small, always be the first to apologise even when it wasn’t really your fault (“it shows goodwill!”), always take the blame, believe others’ version of events over your own because your own perception can’t be trusted. It probably messed me up more than I already was, and it feels like I have a big flashing sign on my back that attracts people with bullying tendencies like chum attracts sharks.
Which brings me back to my original question: has anyone here done something like assertiveness training and was it helpful? I struggle to stand up for myself at all, and when I do I struggle to control my emotions. I cry when I’m angry which just makes me look hysterical and like I’m overreacting. I really want to learn how to stay calm while standing my ground.
No. 2510851
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Why Yes I'm still going to make OCs for the lion king in my late 20s (and a bunch of other OCs for various anime)
As a kid I loved this Disney magazine they published monthly for kids, I don't remember the name of it, but it had a bunch of funfacts about real animals and some short comic book stories, I only cared about those with the Lion King where they made new original lion cub characters like Malka, Tama, Chumvi, Kula and Tojo. Malka was cute and I had a crush on him. He was a total chad and rizzed Nala in front of Simba the first time they met kek
I wish the new Lion King cartoon just used those characters instead of the shitty new ones
No. 2510863
>>2510819Nice, but you're being a bit too broad though I think. "Society needs to treat me better" sound good for everyone, but can you give concrete suggestions for how they would do and implement this? Because most people would probably say they are really trying to be kind and accepting and it's hard to do anything except go "yeah let's all be nicer" but then nothing happens because that doesn't come with clear directions, you know what I mean?
If you narrow it down, what are some changes you want in your own life specifically? Like would you like a stable friend group, a nearby horse back riding club to hang out in, a fun dream job, and so on?
No. 2510881
>>2510848>One woman literally got annoyed with me when she stepped on my foot because it startled her that SHE stepped on MY footFucking nerve. She was either a deranged narc or she did it on purpose to belittle you. A total cunt anyway. Idk if it's partly age related but I used to be so meek, then I got in a fight with a literal pedo moid and the confidence boost in knowing I was in the right hasn't left me since, I now enjoy fighting people lmao. I would have enjoyed challenging her in public, making sure everyone in there knows she was being a total cunt by loudly repeating "so YOU stepped on my foot, and you want ME to apologize to you?" with my perfectly practiced face of calm concern. I'm enough of an obvious autist that people can tell so she'd be caught publicly bullying a tard. I had no idea my ability to look emotionless and monotone would come in so handy, I can be raging or want to cry on the inside but look perfectly fine and calm on the outside making people pick my side because the other is raging out on me while I'm the calm reasonable one.
>has anyone here done something like assertiveness training and was it helpful?No, but I think it would be. Accidentally training myself to fight the pedo made me grow so much as a person and my confidence is so much higher! I think you should go for it!
No. 2510893
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>>2510864I fucking despise furries! When I was a kid I had innocent crushes like teenage Simba or Disney fox Robin Hood, but I never fantasized about having sex with them or something. And sure when I made my lion OCs eventually they also had love interests and some had kids, but I never thought about sex between them and I was focused more on the adventures and drama and I just liked coming up with new designs. Overall I always loved the art style for animals in Disney (especially in TLK, Bambi, the Fox and the Hound, Lady and Trump and 101 Dalmatians), I follow Aaron Blaise on his youtube art channel and love James Baxter's work. I just find their animal designs really comfy. I never cared for Disney movies about humans and only watched them as an older teenager and the only one I actually like is the Hunchback of Notre Dame (pure kino). TLK was also probably the first VHS tape and full soundtrack on CD I owned as a kid and my first fixation I remember, and something that actively made me think about pursuing art and animation when I grow up. I also loved Dreamworks' Spirit because I was a horse girl, but that came later. I really wish Disney had some horse relatded movie in their golden or renaissance era. The only prominent 2D horses they made were Pegasuses in Hercules and in Fantasia which were so cute. There was also mrs. Frou Frou in Artistocats but who cares about her
I don't even like the look of anthropomorphic animals tbh and I don't see the appeal
No. 2510912
>>2510863>Nice, but you're being a bit too broad though I think.I thought that I was being pretty concrete but whatever. I have no problem explaining my vision of the world that Id be actually comfortable in so here we go. First of all, neurotypicals have a tendency to accuse us (mentals) of "using our disability as an excuse" and what I want for them to get into their heads is that sometimes it is very much an excuse or at least a reason to be softer on the said mentally disabled person. You cant hold someone who is incapable of experiencing empathy or understanding social cues to the same standarts you hold a normal person to, and it goes for all mental ilness (even those that I personally find hard to deal with like schizophrenia or adhd). My main problem with "normal" assimilationist autist is that by declaring that were the same as neurotypicals they are forcing us in the same box as NTs. In my ideal society mentals and drug addicts would receive more support and your average person would make more of an effort to understand and symphatize with us by taking our differences into consideration when makimg harsh judgements about us. The psychiatrict system would too be reformed, mentally ill people should be given as much freedom as it is safe for them, instititions should prioritize the individuality of their patients at all cost. I also want people (even the NTs) to be socially encouraged to participiate in "weird" but harmless fun, like climbing things, parkouring or jumping around, drawing or grafitying on public property without causing any damage, roleplaying or playing with toys (if they want to), collecting radom "cringe" objects, I want people to sculpt weird stuff, write unconventional books, I want people to draw and sew, I want professions like blacksmithing to be relevant once again simply because someone passionate enough decided so. I want people to dress and do makeup howveer they want no matter how shitty it looks, I want a free society that encourages creativity and having fun. I want a world that prioritizes change and reformation, especially for addicts and criminals, and even if reformation is impossible I still want everyone to be treated with compassion. Unfortunately I have no idea how to implement this, my vision of the world is practically an utopia, so I will probably remain miserable and misunderstood forever.
No. 2510916
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>>2508405>>2509069Don't forget Balto. Without it we wouldn't have kino like Kay Fedewa and her Black Blood Alliance on deviantart. Still not as big as the TLK OC scene I think but also spawned quite a lot of autism
For me another big one was the tv series for Watership Down… I think it was from late 90s but in my country they were airing it on tv around 2004 I think
No. 2510949
>>2510881I’ll strive to achieve your level one day nonna, that sounds great. Screw that creep.
Unfortunately I appear the opposite of emotionless and monotone when I’m upset, my tear ducts are like faucets that open up as soon as I’m upset in any way. So even if I’m objectively in the right I’ll always look like an overreacting weirdo. Plus my first instinct is always to blame myself and assume I’m in the wrong or must have misunderstood something, and it takes me at least a few seconds (often much longer) to properly analyse the situation and realise I wasn’t in the wrong. Apologising and running away is more like a reflex for me than a conscious act and that makes it even more difficult to then turn around and go “actually I’m NOT sorry” lmao. Pretty sure that returning minutes later to call someone out would make me look even more unhinged.
One time at work I was supposed to deliver a message and when I met the recipient in the hallway she said “I don’t know what you’re talking about, you must be mistaking me for someone else” and I was mortified, but when I checked with other coworkers they verified it was the right person and that I said the right thing and they had no idea why she’d respond like that. But I’d already agreed and apologised for the ‘mistake’. I hate that I’m like this.
>I think you should go for it!Thanks! I wish I knew where to find something like this, though. Everything I can find along these lines is for children and teenagers, not adults. Maybe I should look for some kind of self defence training?
>>2510933This happens to me too but
only when I’m joking. When I’m genuinely recalling an experience people will raise their eyebrows sceptically or roll their eyes but when I say the most ridiculous shit as an obvious joke they take me 100% seriously.
No. 2510951
>>2510940>there were dinosaur aliensHoly shit whaaaaat
I only saw the original and the sequel in which Littlefoot finds his father (what the fuck) and it turns out the father also raised some other little dinosaur that wasn't his biological son and that small dinosaur gets jealous of Littlefoot and the attention he gets from his long lost dad. For some reason I loved the themes of jealousy between characters and when one character was suffering because of it kek
No. 2510963
>>2510929>You've said you're jealous of both normie and high(er) functioning autists, but then what is it you want from them more exactly? Not just like "more compassion" or "to understand me".I want to be accepted and not judged or ostracized, I want to be free to talk about what I do forfun even if its "strange" or "creepy", like infodumping about diseases and bodily fluids (my special intetests). Itd also be neat to not be met with bewilderment when I talk about my philosophy or how I see the world.
>Do you want friendships and relationships with them, and if so what activities is it you want to perform that you can't do now? Or would you want them to leave you alone?Kind of both. I do occasionally feel urges to participiate in normal person stuff like going to the cinema with friends or hanging out in a public space, both of those are nearly impossible for me to perform as normal people woild be embarrassed to be around me because of my unkempt looks and tendency to stim whenever I get even slightly emotional (jumping or running around in circles, clicking my tongue, banging my arm on my head, making repetitive noises or pnrases) I guess I just want friends who are okay with this stuff but thats like a wet dream because everyonr is so tolerant of disabled people until they actually meet one pf them in real life.
>You say want a creative society, does that mean you like to be creative and do some kind of art and doing that would make you happy? I have a tendency to create fictional worlds in my head and be really indulgent in them, I like making stuff related to my fictional worlds or characters, like plushies or drawings or stories/text based roleplay. This is my main form of interacting with other people because I largerly find conversations related to the real world unfulfilling and dull, I guess itd be nice to find people who are also as obsessed with creatibg fiction as me and dont think that me constantly bringing it up is annoying.
>Basically in your ideal society, where are you and what are you doing?I think I lowkey could be a microceleb artist or a writer because Im pretty talanted for a literal retard, Im able to create meaningful interesting stories inside of my head, I just dont reveal them because I dont want to be judged or scrutinized for unconventional motives in them or be made fun of. But I guess if that didnt exist then I could probably make a living out of my art and meet more likeminded people.
No. 2510987
>>2510963I'm sorry but if you don't want people to judge you, then don't talk about bodily fluids with strangers. Some autists have this "me me me" mentality where they want to be accepted, and understood, but then they refuse to accept or understand others. Most people, normie or not, don't want to discuss bodily fluids - you have to understand that and accept that about them. Society isn't going to change for one person: you have to change to meet the norms of society. I understand that this is difficult, but it's what has to happen. You can't be smashing your head with your arm, or running around in circles, or making strange noises, and then expect people to pretend that you aren't acting like a freak.
>as normal people would be embarrassed to be around me because of my unkempt looksI'm autistic and I would also be ashamed to be seen with someone that is unkempt. It really is not difficult to shower, to wear deodorant, to dress well, to style your hair. It's the bare minimum. When you are unkempt, you're projecting this image of "I don't care enough to try," to the world, so why should other people care to try and understand you? Nobody is saying that you have to be super fashionable, but you have to at least look clean and well-groomed. Nobody wants to interact with dirty-looking slobs that smell bad and wear wrinkly stained clothing that hasn't been washed in a week.
>I think I lowkey could be a microceleb artist or a writer because Im pretty talanted for a literal retard, Im able to create meaningful interesting stories inside of my head, I just dont reveal them because I dont want to be judged or scrutinized for unconventional motives in them or be made fun of.I think you're trying to make excuses for why you haven't become an artist or an author yet. There are lots of artists and authors that operate online and that don't attend conventions or events, and a lot of them are autistic too. I also think the your desire to be famous is maybe speaking more to the autistic egoism. Do you want to be an artist or an author because you want to create, or do you want to be an artist or an author because other people would pay attention to you? It seems more like your aspirations are imagined vehicles to social success.
>I guess itd be nice to find people who are also as obsessed with creatibg fiction as me and dont think that me constantly bringing it up is annoyingThere are thousands of spaces, online and offline, that are dedicated to this. I know of 3 clubs in my city that are dedicated to world-building, and many more that are related to fiction like sci-fi or fantasy.
A lot of your problems sound self-made. It seems that you don't want to do any work to improve yourself. A very external locus of control. Get some self-help books, go to therapy, learn coping skills, learn social skills, and 9/10 of your problems would be solved.
>>2510754Like the others said, it seems more like you're jealous that other autists took the time and energy to actually improve themselves and lessen the severity of their symptoms.
>>2510559Your ADHD larp isn't working, sperg.
No. 2511028
>>2510987> I understand that this is difficult, but it's what has to happen. You can't be smashing your head with your arm, or running around in circles, or making strange noises, and then expect people to pretend that you aren't acting like a freak. Dude do you think Im not aware of this? Its exactly why Im miserable. Im aware that my desires are utopian and impossible to execute. And no I dont bring up any of that shit when talking to strangers
>I'm autistic and I would also be ashamed to be seen with someone that is unkempt. It really is not difficult to shower, to wear deodorant, to dress well, to style your hair. It's the bare minimum. This is what I meant when I said that i cant talk to normie autists. You think that because its easy for you then it must be easy for all of us
>I think you're trying to make excuses for why you haven't become an artist or an author yet.No Im not, Im just aknowledging the reality of how my life is, Im too scared and embarrased to make anything of myselg
>I also think the your desire to be famous is maybe speaking more to the autistic egoism. Do you want to be an artist or an author because you want to create, or do you want to be an artist or an author because other people would pay attention to you?I dont necersly have a desire to be famous, when I said that I could probbaly make a living out of my art if I wasnt a pussy and people werent judgemental I was just aknolwedging the fact that I do have talents.
>I know of 3 clubs in my city that are dedicated to world-building, and many more that are related to fiction like sci-fi or fantasy. Theres none in the shithole tjat I live in
>Get some self-help books, go to therapy, learn coping skills, learn social skills, and 9/10 of your problems would be solved.You make all of this sound so easy its annoying.
No. 2511040
>>2511028No, I'm sorry, but you need to shower and put on deodorant and groom yourself. That's not up for debate. I've been depressed and it was hard for me to shower then too, but I still did it.
>You think that because its easy for you then it must be easy for all of usLife isn't easy. Even for normies or "normie autists" or whatever you wanna call the people that you envy. Everyone has to do things that they don't wanna do. Everyone has to struggle sometimes. You're not the exception to the rule. Finding it hard to shower, or wear clean clothes, or put on deodorant isn't an excuse not to do those things.
>Im too scared and embarrased to make anything of myselgYeah, but this is your fault, not society's fault. You need to work on improving your self-esteem, society isn't going to improve that for you. If you really have talents, then start using those talents instead of wallowing in self-pity and expecting ass-pats from everyone.
>You make all of this sound so easy its annoying.It kind of is that easy though. You can find pirated files of self-help books online, there's a mountain of resources online for people to improve their social skills and to learn new coping skills too. It's 2025, we have the entire sum of all human knowledge at our disposable through the world wide web. The only thing that's a bit hard is going to therapy because it costs money, but everything else is free and requires only some time and an open mind.
>>2511033>We should have a million echo-chambers so nobody's fee fees get hurt!Be real lmao.
>>2511037Me too. Christ.
No. 2511050
>>2511040>No, I'm sorry, but you need to shower and put on deodorant and groom yourself. That's not up for debate. I've been depressed and it was hard for me to shower then too, but I still did it.But I am not you. We are different people, I know that those things are a necessity, that doesnt change the fact that I still struggle wity them due to the fact that I am in my head 90% of the time. I struggle with forgettung that I have a physical body with needs that I need to take care of because I am so engulfed by the world inside of my head. Just because its easy for you doesnt mean that its easy for me, especially when its so clear that were on different sides of the spectrum. I just wish I was given a level of understanding for things that I struggle with instead of being dissmissed or ridiculed for them.
>Life isn't easy. Even for normies or "normie autists" or whatever you wanna call the people that you envy. Everyone has to do things that they don't wanna do. Everyone has to struggle sometimes. You're not the exception to the rule. Finding it hard to shower, or wear clean clothes, or put on deodorant isn't an excuse not to do those things.Do you realize that it isnt a matter of what I want or dont want to do? If it was my way Id be normal. Not everything in life is alterable, even when I was in therapy I still struggled with those, how is this a hard concept to grasp
>Yeah, but this is your fault, not society's fault. I mean its lowkey both? I am insecure because I am judged, if I wanst judged Id be less insecure.
>It kind of is that easy thoughIts just not? I dont see a reason as to why youre denying this. Not all of us have the power or the abbility to pull purselves by the bootsraps, this is like asking a paralyzed person to stand up and walk again. This conversation is moving nowhere.
No. 2511053
File: 1746400270387.jpg (65.03 KB, 540x272, melancholy.jpg)
>>2511050>>2511051You're right. I shouldn't have bothered to respond to you because it's obvious that you're never gonna admit that you're the only one that has the power to improve your life.
No. 2511064
>>2511053I wrote this post
>>2511051 and I'm not the same anon as
>>2511050 and you keep talking out of your ass. Being able to acknowledge the differences in degrees of mental ilnesses and saying that we have the power to change our lives is not mutually exclusive, yet you keep acting like someone here constantly denies the second sentence so you keep fruitlessly repeat it over and over in a truly autistic manner
No. 2511088
>>2511050>Not everything in life is alterableHave you tried antidepressants?
>>2511064Using a low functioning autist to one up themself is honestly funny and pathetic.
No. 2511380
>>2511088>Have you tried antidepressants? I was on multiple antipsychotics and antidepressants when I was a teen, so yes.
>>2511265>I would be your friend, you sound coolI think yourr just being nice but thats okay
No. 2511609
File: 1746444168586.jpeg (100.21 KB, 795x635, IMG_8566.jpeg)
It would seem that I have failed the vibe check once again. My coworkers are having a barbecue that I am not invited to. I just think it’s so funny when normies preach about inclusion then don’t even practice it. Also the “im LITERALLY so adhd” thing is CULTURAL APPROPRIATION. They have “adhd” because they are addicted to following astroturfed trends, get rage baited by algorithms, and have low self control. I have adhd because I can’t hold an interest for longer than a couple weeks and even cartel beheadings no longer give me a dopamine rush. WE ARE NOT THE SAME
No. 2511655
>>2510963ayrt while not exactly the utopia you're looking for, it's not impossible to find friends like that. Though since your interests are niche it would probably be easiest online in groups to have sperging needs met. I know other anon said bodily fluids are gross, but I think a lot of medically interested people would actually find it neutral or even interesting. I'm personally not interested in the topic at all, yet if someone had cool facts about it I'd listen with genuine interest because "facts are fun" to my brain. My autistic friends and I info-dump on each other like that about our favorite topics. But you have to also then accept others do the same to you, and you never mentioned being on the receiving end. And you'd have to get over some of that disdain and mistrust for other autists too if you want to have a spergy friend cirle.
>I do occasionally feel urges to participiate in normal person stuff like going to the cinema with friends or hanging out in a public space, both of those are nearly impossible for me to perform as normal people woild be embarrassed to be around me Just get a friend who is as spergy as you, that usually works. You are far from unique, stims and acting odd are known in the autism world so most people who are used to autism would be ok with it. And while the most snobby normie might think it's too odd, there's also a lot of "tolerance preachers" who would actually indulge you without judgement for a couple of hours of hanging out.
>I have a tendency to create fictional worlds >I think I lowkey could be a microceleb artist or a writer because Im pretty talanted for a literal retardI can't tell you have to live your life, but to me it sounds like something you should pursue and push. You could actually literally become a microceleb artist/writer. You can test the waters by making anonymous accounts for your art. That way if you get judged and don't like it, you can just delete it all and people won't know it was you. But if it goes decently well you can do things like contact local autist/disability groups to be showcasted in whatever medias they use.
>But I guess if that didnt exist then I could probably make a living out of my art and meet more likeminded people.See here you're right, this is an actual possibility for you. Your art could be the key to get more accepted, get friends, and possibly make a living out of something you like doing. And the thing you say stops you is just fear of judgement. You will be judged, but what if instead you learned to not fear it? That's just one person's opinion! Everyone doesn't have to love your art, you just need a dedicated few who gets it.
No. 2511659
>>2510987>It really is not difficult to shower, to wear deodorant, to dress well, to style your hair. It's the bare minimum.Bitch this is NOT bare minimum, that is a lot of fucking work! I literally only shower out of these and THAT is bare minimum lmao
Literally just throw on like a t-shirt and hoodie and people will accept you. Styling your hair is needed to be baseline respected? Get the fuck out of here.
No. 2511909
File: 1746465022082.png (581.54 KB, 885x1355, 1000009291.png)
Anyone find the /r/Autisminwomen subreddit incredibly relatable? Picrel
No. 2512471
>>2511909The solution is to heal your own trauma. "But it's hard" yes, because it's trauma. If you currently cannot keep friendships because of your trauma and it's severely effecting your life overall then literally the only thing you can do is to work on it, or just keep suffering. I know that's
triggering for certain people to hear but it's the only solution. "But what if it can't be healed" then you will simply suffer the consequences for the rest of your life. It's not your responsibility to heal the other person's trauma, and it's not ayone else's to heal yours for you either.
No. 2512476
>>2512474Ntayrt but every single person that I've ever met that says something like "oh, I don't get BO!" does, in fact, get BO, but they're too noseblind to realize how bad they stink.
>>2512471100%. Being an adult means holding yourself accountable for your flaws and taking strides to correct them.
No. 2512480
>>2512474This is for Nonnas with The BO Gene. Rest be applied nonetheless lol
>>2512477I would not recommend either. Shit stinks and it can mess up your ph but I've seen a really dumbass debate here on the farms over soapy vaginas so I just threw it in just in case. I wouldn't even recommend those vaginal wash stuff either
No. 2512500
>>2512498Oh it can definitely have an effect I'm not going to lie but generally speaking I'm uninterested in discussing that aspect; namely in an autism context where people gave food selectivity and as long there not eating
too unhealthy, I'm pretty ehh on it. We are also discussing a context of people struggling to find energy for frequent hygienic upkeep so something like a dietary change feels like skipping to step 500 when you are still on step 1
No. 2512522
>>2512489Ayrt and if you want to stink, you do you.
>>2512483Body odour isn't just caused by sweat. There is a specific smell that comes from being unwashed and dirty and it doesn't always come from sweat. People that have the "no stinky sweat" gene can still have body odour.
No. 2512947
>>2512822>My dad keeps proposing to sell my crafts or antiquesI'm confused why this is bad? People do sell crafts and art? You don't need to buy materials for 100, 50 or 10 items to sell, you can just start with 1 or 2. And you set the price you sell it for so if it costs a lot to make you sell it for even more.
>let alone allow their holy daughter to participate in such.lmao nona you do not need your parents permission to take a job, just do it.
>>2512854>When I tell them it is not possible in the current state of market they start offering nonsensical shit that doesnt work. If they offer you things that don't work, YOU have to instead offer them things that do work. You sitting comfy on your butt and being a spoiled little nepo baby while they grow more frustrated and resentful that you don't value their money, work, or time is not a viable option nona. You're not a child, it's not actually their job to support you financially. It's not even their job to help you find a job or even encourage you but they're still trying. Taking that clinic job does actually work btw, because the point isn't for you to go there and have a fun relaxing time - it's to do a job and earn money. You not liking it doesn't matter when the other option is not having any money and being unable to live. Just go get a factory job already and prove that you can do it.
No. 2513066
File: 1746539651877.jpg (310.84 KB, 1080x1067, Screenshot_20250503_205433_Ins…)
Help i need extra easy nutritious meal ideas/safe foods i can meal prep (And maybe re-heat in a pot because my microwave is broken, although i do have one at work if i want to bring food along)
I have the tism, i just started at a new position in the company and it's been a freefall so far,my new coworkers scare me, im on my period, i love cooking but i forgot HOW&when… please tell me about your safe foods fellow autists
No. 2513094
>>2508405Speaking of the Lion king autism I have to post it here! Do you guys think he's a furry? I have a hard time judging this kind of stuff and his channel looks interesting but I don't want to support a furry. Is using your dog as an avatar a furry thing?
I wish we had a TLK thread btw kek
No. 2513638
File: 1746561231473.jpg (309.65 KB, 1080x1246, Screenshot_20250506_214954_Ins…)
>>2513109>>2513104>>2513099Thanks for advice…
I managed to make some riceballs and minestrone soup, the soup turned out pretty well despite consisting of pathethic scrap vegetables. So happy I've got lunch covered for this week…!
No. 2514286
>>2512822Anon if you can nepo yourself into some kind of behind the scenes admin job you should definitely take advantage of that opportunity. Your parents won’t be around to support you forever. Networking is a huge part of finding work and most of us are terrible at it (I know I am) so if you have useful familial connections for gods sake take advantage of them.
.t anon who studied for a decade only to be unable to find a job because I prioritised grades over networking.
>>2513210She became famous for her music and maintains fame by wearing strange costumes. It’s not her natural quirky personality shining through, it’s a calculated PR move. All of these celebrities are backed by PR teams who orchestrate shit like this to keep the public’s attention on their clients. Anon is right that you can’t hold celebrities with a carefully engineered brand and people like us (who presumably aren’t producing extremely popular catchy music) to the same standards because nobody else does. Celebrities get to be weird and outrageous as part of the social contract that made them celebrities in the first place; everyone knows the meat dress was for attention and not something she wears because it’s her personal style. If she kept wearing meat dresses to every event the shock factor would wear off and people would get bored with her and tell her to find a new shtick.
If people like us go out dressed like Lady Gaga, at best people will think “look at that weirdo who’s cosplaying Lady Gaga” at best, or more likely just “look at that weirdo”. I agree with your original post, though. Embracing being That Weirdo can be freeing if the alternative is painfully twisting yourself into a pretzel to pretend to fit in. Especially because many of us don’t manage to fit in no matter what.
>>2513998Mood. I never know which is worse, when their smiles fade and they look away or when the genuine smile turns into the weird patronising kind they’d use to talk to a small child. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the time where I didn’t recognise the latter and still thought people genuinely liked me.
No. 2514662
>>2514398Ayrt and my country has mini-celebrities like that too but I’d hesitate to say they’re really beloved. They’re treated more like clowns if anything. There’s a strong reality show culture here and that’s where most of these people come from or turn to when their star starts to wane, regardless of any talent they may have. But most reality ‘stars’ aren’t like the Kardashians, nobody really looks up to them or respects them. They’re nothing more than sources of cheap entertainment that the industry chews up and spits out. It wouldn’t surprise me if the industry preys on autistic people since we do tend to be quirky, gullible and easier to manipulate. Not to mention the guaranteed ~drama~ when someone has a meltdown after being harassed by paparazzi.
I hope it’s better wherever you are, because the situation here is nothing to strive for. I really hate my country’s media sometimes.
No. 2514780
File: 1746643953925.mp4 (1.36 MB, 720x1280, bcffe700d35f848d.mp4)
>obviously extroverted normie tiktok whore who films herself getting fucked by gross scrotes on onlyfans
>im autistic btw :3 in bio
its all so tiresome
No. 2514840
>>2514780And it's always some woman you just know treated autistic girls like dogshit in school. The mean girls who were condescending to and laughed at spergs grew up to pretend to be spergs. I don't understand how this happened.
>>2514792I don't have ADHD but my friend does and she graduated from college but had a hard time and took longer than her peers. She says it was worth it to finish, but she also says that things only really improved once she was diagnosed and got on medication and developed a supportive network of people who encouraged healthy habits like studying and working out and eating well. Maybe you could see if there are local study groups to help enforce accountability/communal quiet study times or something like that?
No. 2514960
>>2514662>But most reality ‘stars’ aren’t like the Kardashians, nobody really looks up to them or respects themAnon… people don't respect or look up to the Kardashians either… kek
>>2513998Have you ever tried wearing dark sunglasses? I've found that for autists that struggle with social interactions, the one thing that's hardest for them to change (and the one thing that outs them as weird to normies) is their eye contact. If your eyes are obscured someway, like with sunglasses, you'll be surprised how easy a lot of social interactions become. If they ever ask why you're wearing sunglasses indoors, just say that you get chronic migraines and that the LED lights
trigger episodes. Eventually, after you become more self-confident in social interaction, you won't need to use the sunglasses anymore.
No. 2515358
>>2515032Right. The sensation of foundation on my face makes me want to claw my skin off. Fake lashes make me want to tear my eyelids off. Itchy, cheap, polyester clothing (especially revealing clothing that has lots of holes or gaps in it, or stuff like bustiers that have wires inside or rough seams inside) feels so disgusting against my skin and is a
trigger. I cant imagine being genuinely autistic yet constantly dressing yourself in this itchy uncomfortable crap.
>>2515287Sensory issues are like a mainstay of autism kek. Some studies put it as high as 93%. This is why 'autism' has become a meaningless term that normalfags self dx with now, because the criteria that real autists almost uniformly experience gets dismissed as an exception instead of the rule.
No. 2515391
>>2515366Fun fact, when westerners and japanese people first met they were both freaked out by each others stench. The japanese people thought westerners smelled liked old milk, due to their dairy heavy diets making them smell that way. And western people thought the japanese people smelled like rotten fish, due to their fish heavy diets making them smell.
Basically, you smell like the rotting/fermenting/old version of what you eat, because that's what's happening in your belly and the smell leaks out. A bit freaky to think about.
No. 2516090
>>2515602Maybe i wasn't specific enough, when I mean racing thoughts, I mean my brain ping pongs between things like, "Oh i really want to paint my office, what should i paint it? there's too many options, I should take photos and do some mockups, i need to charge my phone, I really should focus on work, I wonder what events are happening this weekend, let me take out the trash, I feel like I'm wasting my day, I should focus on work, etc" But one right after the other and it's hard to actually action on anything. I don't think it's anxiety, none of the thoughts are worrying about anything.
>>2515966Thanks nona, as I get older, I do realize that there is more of a pattern to this. I had another one last night and figured for the first time seeing if anyone experiences anything similar.
No. 2516794
>>2515549Yeah.
Im fine with being "ugly" and "abrasive." I saw a Reddit comment describe an unattractive but married woman who the commentator described as quite abrasive, and Ive aspired to be like her since.
No. 2517083
>>2516888Talk to your psych and see if they suggest an alternative and/or a "holiday" from meds. It's not a bad idea but it's good to do with supervision, especially if you deal with insurance. If it's an agreed-on holiday, it will be easier to pick back up smoothly or get an alternative afterwards.
>>2517001 idea of monitoring your status and if you've taken meds as much as you can from now on is great as well, very helpful.
Have you had any health/life/environmental changes in the past year? Changed any other medication? Stressful events? It could just be a tolerance issue but there's a lot that can affect things. Try to think of anything like that to report to your psych when you bring up the issue.
No. 2517298
File: 1746755435018.png (144.75 KB, 500x500, 1650319417673.png)
Anyone else hate writing birthday cards? Whether I like the person or not, it's always so damn mentally taxing to figure out what to say that's can't just be said with a pre-written card. Everyone always says "just be genuine!" but it gets to a point (especially when it's an old person) where it's tough to pretend to be bubbly over a yearly event like that
No. 2517613
>>2517599Finding the cause of and solution to autism should be an absolute priority tbh. Most genetic conditions can be detected before a child is born, whether that's through carrier screening, amniocentesis, embryo testing, etc. Parents should have as much advance warning as possible so they can make an educated decision. Autism cant be diagnosed for several years after birth and it's a scary possibility.
The irony of the pearl clutching from autists themselves is that if they have the ability to comment on political issues, they are pretty high functioning. Low functioning artists are legit disabled and will need care their entire life. Nobody would care this much if the only risk was having a nerdy kid, as opposed to a screaming retard in diapers.
No. 2517688
>>2517599>I genuinely don’t understand the people pearl clutching about there being research to find if there is an autism gene.If they found it it would be good so they could fix it. I don't find aborting any fetus for any reason to be bad personally, it could be the healthiest looking fetus and if the mother doesn't want it then off it should go.
Though I don't really believe there is such a thing as the autism gene. The label is now super inclusive and convoluted. I'm not at all convinced autism is just one thing, I think there's a whole group of genes, conditions and disorders that have been grouped together and are now called autism. That's why someone could have autism in that they're socially retarded but not have a single of the other issues (like sensory issues), while another person could have every autism symptom on earth
except the social deficit and thus not be considered an autist. It's been branded as a "spectrum" because they failed to narrow it down to one thing. It's possible they potentially could locate AN autistic gene, which would presumably be the most obvious retard kind of gene and that's still a good start though.
I think most angry people are fakers tbh. If there's suddenly a way to prove someone is or isn't an autist genetically that ruins their whole autist identity they've formed. I'm one of those who are still unsure my diagnosis is even accurate, and I would be delighted if it turned out I'm not an autist after all. I'd still have my issues but the cause would be different and thus there could potentially be different treatments and help for it.
No. 2518630
>>2518482That's textbox OCD nona
>>2518578Start with just not sleeping with men you're not already dating? If you're just hooking up with someone you're literally both just using each other for sex, that's the whole point of a hook up.
If it's someone you're seriously dating to the point you call each other gf/bf then you have to look at his actions. Does he always want sex when you hang out? Does he suggest actual activities that require time, money and effort and going out with you or is it always just "netflix and chill" at home, that typically leads to him wanting sex? If you suggest doing something, does he shoot it down?
Does he like to talk to you about various FUN (important detail!) topics (including listening to you talk) or does he just talk about how hot you are or complain about random shit not caring if you even reply? If the man is just using you to vent about things like politics, AIbro talk, his own depression, or whatever shit - he's just using you as a wall to spew his thoughts on the same way he's likely using you for sex. He has to actually engage in fun conversations with you, and be excited to talk about things YOU bring up and care about too.
One big clue is to listen to him talk about the future. Does he say "when WE get a house, when WE get kids" or does he say "when I get a house, when I get kids". Basically listen to see if is a given to him that you're in his future. For example I remember a nona who ended up dumping her boyfriend because whenever he'd talk about the future he'd say something like "whoever I end up marrying in the future" as if it wasn't even a given that it's even her.
No. 2520019
>>2519561you had anxiety before you were even born kek (same though).
and i feel you, it's so frustrating to think back to when you were young and wonder 'if i'd been diagnosed young, would i have had a better time with proper support?' it took until i was 26 to get a proper diagnosis despite showing very obvious symptoms my entire life, particularly as a little kid before i learned how to mask better - the stigma against girls with autism sucks ugh
No. 2521040
File: 1747009538283.png (4.85 KB, 675x456, 1724326968278.png)
>>2521009ty anon, much respect for you to taking time out of your day to respond to me.
No. 2522565
>>2522563wtf. Why do I resonate with everything in this picture. (Except for me it was sonic.)
I always suspected I have some flavor of 'tism but I can function completely normally now because I have had enough time to observe other adults and mimic what they do.
No. 2522616
>>2522565The way my trusted burgerfag Psych explained it to me is that having Autism/Aspie/ADHD traits, even a lot of them, doesn't automatically mean you're diagnosed.
The diagnosis occurs when those symptoms are causing 1) measurable dysfunction 2) in multiple areas of your life.
Since you might have 'Tism behaviors, but aren't dysfunctional/disordered, you ARE Neurodiverse. But you are not diagnosed with DSM4 or DSM5 Autism, because you've appropriately adapted to society and are managing without multiple dysfunctions.
Which, good for you anon! I understand the intense work you've put into observation, understanding and comprehension of social behaviors and expectations, your ENTIRE life. I'm glad it has paid off for you, but I know it's never simple.
I'm doing better in my dysfunction but something that helps me is remembering that NT people are dysfunctional too, so there is a built-in acceptable margin of error in society. Which sounds obvious but y'know, 'tism.
No. 2523848
>>2522616>Since you might have 'Tism behaviors, but aren't dysfunctional/disordered, you ARE NOT Neurodiverse.Fixed it for you nona! "Neurodiverse" is not a real term and unless you meet the diagnostic criteria you do not have autism, because the literal definition of autism is meeting the criteria. There is no disorder without having a disorder.
>>2522959Girl just close your mouth, you'll be fine.
No. 2523957
Is it possible for an autistic person to develop schizophrenia? I was already diagnosed with autism, they also said they see some ADHD symptoms in me and they encourage me to get tested for it too, but I'm scared of talking about my other symptoms to my therapist and psychiatrist. For the past months I've been extremely tired and stressed from work and being around people, also constantly re-living my various childhood traumas and abuse in my head, plus pain from chronic illness, all of this is causing my insomnia; every single week I have a situation when I don't sleep for 2 days in a row, and then I go to work and I feel like a zombie. And even when I sleep for 8 hours "in total", I still wake up like every single hour or every 2 hours during that time, and then it takes me at least 15 minutes to fall asleep again, so in the morning I wake up exhausted. I've been struggling with this pattern of sleep for at least 4 years (although my first sleeping problems appeared when I was 12, so quite a long time ago). I don't know if the things I experience are just sleep deprivation induced hallucinations, or worse. I experienced auditory hallucinations a couple of times, like I heard a voice on the left side of my head (not inside of it, but close to it), I couldn't understand it and I don't know what it said exactly, but I heard it, and I know there wasn't anybody because I was alone in my room. It really scared me but I never told about it to anyone irl. I feel like I give myself paranoia just worrying about becoming schizophrenic. I regressed in many areas of my life, including the only thing I was talented in (drawing and painting), my writing and speech got worse, I literally forget words, my vocabulary is worse than when I was 17, my concentration problems and OCD tendencies became stronger, I constantly have those thinking patterns like "X happened this way therefore now I will have to experience Y that way" (like for example, I came back to my apartment building after shopping, and the elevator was on the 7th floor, instead of ground floor or just fairly close to it, like the 3th floor, so that means I spent too much money and it's my "punishment" and now I have to wait longer etc., or that means I was mean to someone or I just did something bad, and now I will think about it for the rest of the day). I also cut off everyone from my life, my relatives try to contact me for like 2 months but I don't answer any calls because the discomfort from interacting with other people is even stronger than before. I only talk to my therapist, but not about everything. I feel pure anger when people just talk to me, and I don't want to be perceived by anyone in any way, every time I go outside I pray so people don't look at me. It's also harder to perform tasks at work because I don't want people to see how I move, I remember I had this thing already in pre school when I refused to do PE excercises because I didn't want kids to see how I perform tasks. So there are things that were always present, but there are also new things (like auditory hallucinations) or the problems I already had getting much worse
No. 2524750
File: 1747339105940.jpg (78.22 KB, 1080x797, 1000030782.jpg)
How to cope with the lack of any kind of intellectual and emotional satisfaction from interactions with other people? I still have people who want to talk to me, and I try to appreciate it, but I never feel anything positive in relation to that, it feels like a chore. How do I find "my" people? I know it sounds pretetentious but I yearn for deep conversations and the only person in my life I ever had that kind of relationship with was my literature teacher. That was it… Also when I was 13-15 I was fixated on old french and italian art house movies and I always wanted to have that kind of criptic conversations kek. And then I was disappointed that normal people don't talk like this (just like I was disappointed as a 5 year old that I can't communicate with others with singing, like a Disney character, because then other kids will look weird at me). I'm into philosophy and literature and I just don't have people who are also into that, the only people I meet are the ones from my work and family. I don't have a social circle, I don't know how to meet new people. It's really hard when you're an adult. I didn't graduate from college for personal reasons. I still want to go there someday, even if by that time I'm 35 or something. And I noticed that usually only people with degree are into that kind of stuff and I'm afraid they would judge me for not having a degree and then see my views on certain things as less valuable because of that.
I'm insecure about my class background in general and I'm afraid I'm gonna be stuck among uneducated people of low socio-economic status forever. I feel like I peaked in high school. I feel like I disappointed my literature teacher, who liked my writing and saw potential in me, big time.
I was once offered a job of an art professor assistant (yep) and I refused because I knew I was too autistic to teach strangers and talk to them, despite having the knowledge. I'm glad both the teacher and the professor will never find out of how much of a failure I became. Even when they praised me for something, the only thing I felt was the impostor syndrome. It's over…
No. 2524754
>>2524750Obviously I don't know you, but it could be that you come off as pretentious to other people. "Deep" conversations usually happen at night, after a long time of talking about other mundane things for some hours. Nobody wants to have "deep" conversations within 5 minutes of starting the conversation. Life isn't like those French art house films; the dialogue in those was written by screenwriters, it's not meant to reflect the reality of conversation.
>I don't have a social circle, I don't know how to meet new people.It's not like it's hard to meet new people. Sign up for stuff like yoga classes or book clubs, or do some volunteer work. If you can commit to an activity and go to it regularly, friendships will blossom out of that. If you want to talk with people that appreciate the arts, go to more galleries, or music shows, or arts and crafts fairs.
>I'm insecure about my class background in general and I'm afraid I'm gonna be stuck among uneducated people of low socio-economic status forever.Yeah but you're from a lower class and you're still interested in philosophy and literature, so why can't other people from your class be interested in those things? Looking down on people because of their socio-economic standing is pretentious and rude. You're limiting yourself when you cast judgements on people before you meet them.
No. 2524773
>>2523957Sadly yes, there is a small higher risk of developing schizophrenia when you are autistic.
Being said that, in my opinion, what you are experiencing now is probably more related to the sleep deprivation and exhaustion. Still, you should see a doctor.
Here is a link with info to help differentiate autism symptoms from schizophrenia:
https://www.healthline.com/health/autism-vs-schizophreniaAnd a test that might help you to interpret if what you are feeling could be related to schizophrenia and psychosis:
https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/psychosis/ No. 2525156
>>2524954sorry, I'm one of those NTs. I wish I wasn't, since I intellectually know it's not malicious, but ADHDers
trigger the parental emotional neglect part of me. where they didn't care about how I felt but I had to over care about how they felt
No. 2525367
>>2524954>I read somewhere that neurotypical find our existence hurts them on a deep levelNo, they just see anyone who is different and avoid them. It really isn't that deep and you probably do the same when you see people with other disabilities or from other weird cultures.
>>2525133My eurofag country would say it that way since we say aspergers name with a soft g, tho we don't actually use the word "sperg". But I guess the correct way is with a german g
No. 2525474
>>2525156Who's the parent and who's the kid?
>>2524954How do neurotypicals react to autists?
No. 2525495
File: 1747409611477.jpg (1.14 MB, 2560x1920, Greater Bilby-8.jpg)
Do any autistic people here live alone? and how did you do it? I really worry I'll never be able to live alone and it especially sucks because I live in an incredibly boring rural area with barely any people so my social life potential is basically nonexistent rn
No. 2525573
>>2525214Me too
I wish I was never born
I'm tired of being treated like an animal wherever I go
I'm just exhausted of living like this
No. 2525583
>>2525539i get incredibly anxious alone. i dont know if it has anything to do with autism i guess it doesnt. im just very scared of having no immediate support system
>>2525560i dont have a boyfriend
No. 2525780
Lately I've been told that I type like AI, what the fuck? I'm doing my best, I always feel like I'm playing 5D chess with people and that I'm losing constantly.
This is why I always end up logging off everywhere and not talking to anyone. Like first off, I do literally nothing at all, my job is retarded and boring as fuck, I basically have no hobbies because I don't feel like doing anything most of the time, and whenever I do something, I'm criticized or told that I'm lucky I can enjoy my hobbies and shit.
I swear, any time I try to talk with people, it's like there's a filter that makes them see gibberish, like this
>hey, how are you doing? Your drawing is so pretty, I like the different weight of the lines and the colors.
To
>hey bitch nice doodle, fuckface.
Because whenever I talk, even if I try to say meaningful shit that I genuinely think, it's like I'm literally insulting people. Specially my best friend.
Like she's always mad, and I swear she's always mad at me specifically because I'm shit at responding, I'm absolutely retarded, I want to kill myself, I hate being an autist.
No. 2525791
>>2525787I haven't drawn stuff in a while already and I'm shit at it, she actually usually gives me pointers and such.
I mean, she's clearly depressed too because of her shit family situation, but I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say either and no matter how many videos I watch, or how much I read, she isn't happy with what I say.
No. 2525813
>>2525791Also, samefag, whenever we roleplay, because we don't really talk too often, because it always ends with my friend being disappointed in me, her characters are always unmoving, unmotivated, unfeeling, and while she has always been like this, it has become more and more difficult to actually play and do things.
I feel retarded, I want to kill myself because I don't tend to have lots of friends and I feel bad about myself being a shit friend that can't even find the words to cheer up her own friend, or can't even be interesting at all without sounding like I'm bragging.
I just wish all autistic people like myself could get systemically separated from other people so I didn't have to feel shit and get attached to people.
No. 2525825
>>2525817Tbh, she kind of told me so, that all she feels is sadness whenever she talks with me. But when we meet irl, I think we get along just right? I feel so retarded and sad, since talking to me feels like self harm at this point, I should stop responding to her, I don't want her to feel sad.
I should've stopped this when I began going to uni, I just can't have friends, or friends with a deeper connection, it's like what my parents said, that friendships as an adult just aren't deep, they're based on favors and influence.
Like I have "friends" They're just people I can hangout with and talk about Fandom stuff or whatever, but we don't really talk about deep stuff like whenever I try to talk with my friend. That was such a fucking mistake, I'm not fit for being a deep thinker.
No. 2526519
>>2525583>i get incredibly anxious alone>i dont have a boyfriendThen why would you even want to live alone? I'm
>>2525560 and like I said I'm perfectly happy to live with my parents, when I move out it will literally only be because I have someone else to move in with. I'd never move to live alone and I don't see the problem with that. In all of human history people lived with their families until super recently, we're not meant to be alone.
No. 2526524
>>2525777>within like a day he's brought up several sexually suggestive things in conversationHe's testing you. He wants to invade your sexual boundaries because you're female and that gives him a high. Shut it down plainly by saying something like "Don't talk to me about sexual stuff, that's gross." and leave it at that.
Do NOT apologize and go "sorry can you not" because the fault is on him.
If he says "sorry didn't mean to upset you" or similar you don't say "it's ok/i forgive you" (because it's not ok, he shouldn't have ever done it) you say "now that you know, don't do it again." You don't actually say you forgive him, and stay firm with the boundary. Keep it professional, but if needed complain to whoever is your "boss" or in charge about sexual harassment.
No. 2528438
File: 1747620178612.jpg (319.12 KB, 1286x1361, retard.jpg)
how the fuck am i supposed to get through interviews with 0 social skills, lack of eye contact, and a monotone voice? help me nonnies i got laughed at by this dickhead during an interview and i can’t get over it. i've been out of work for a year
No. 2528460
>>2528453If it's just nerves, I recommend talking to strangers. Next time you're out and about, just stop someone and ask for the time or for directions to somewhere. Obviously don't go up to weirdos, but just normies or old people. Get more used to talking to strangers and interacting with them on the fly. If you have the time, you can also ask friends to give you faux interviews for practice. You can search "common interview questions for [role you're applying for]" to get a sense of what sort of questions you may be asked too.
Being a cashier wasn't good practice because you weren't actually socializing, you were just fulfilling a role within an organization. You have to get better at actually speaking to people on the fly and getting used to interacting with strangers. It's difficult, but the more you practice and the more you try, the better you'll get at it.
No. 2529221
>>2519561>>2519807This is a thing? I was in breach and ended up with the umbilical cord around my neck as well. Apparently I turned blue and spent like a month in the NICU where I looked like a giant compared to all the preemies. My parents love telling this story for some reason.
Is there a belief that the lack of oxygen causes autism? Because autistic traits run so heavily in both sides of my family I always figured it was genetic.
>>2524754>If you can commit to an activity and go to it regularly, friendships will blossom out of that.I must be doing something wrong because this doesn’t work for me at all. There are activities I’ve been attending weekly for years where I haven’t made any friends at all, even though everyone’s nice to me and I don’t think they dislike me or anything. It’s just that when I try to make conversation, people smile politely at me until I finish talking and then turn away. (I’m not infodumping about special interests or anything, I usually only get one or two sentences of small talk in at most.) When they all go for coffee afterwards they never invite me along, either. I don’t mind very much because I primarily come for the activity but making friends would be nice, you know? But that’s not something that has ever “just happened” for me.
No. 2529458
>>2529450What the fuck is "lookist" supposed to mean?
Anyway, it's probably because you have poor social skills or because you come off strangely. Do you dress well? Do you have good grooming and hygiene practices? Do you have untreated social anxiety? Do you have poor posture? All of these things will contribute to normies treating you with pity.
It's kind of like how when a cashier sees a person walking into the store wearing a balaclava with a gun - they're gonna assume that this person is a robber, not just another ordinary shopper that's chilly and coming from an NRA meeting. When a normie sees someone that's slouching, looking at the ground, wearing an over-sized hoodie with greasy hair, and mumbling, they're gonna treat that person with pity because they can tell that the person has some sort of mental disability. You have to look the part that you want to play.
No. 2529675
>>2529665>Men going around like this is acceptableNot to me and not to the people I live around. If I saw a scrote in sweatpants in public I'd assume he was homeless or on hard drugs. If I see a woman in sweatpants in public I just think she has major depressive disorder of she hates herself.
>I don't think that, I just want to feel comfortableI'm not saying that you specifically think it, I'm saying that normies will interpret it as such. I'm not saying to dress to the 9s either, I'm saying that you will be treated better by strangers if you're dressed in appropriate clothing compared to when you're dressed in lounge-wear.
No. 2529738
>>2529277well she said the only reason she's moving is because she has somebody to do it with… and i did have an online boyfriend but he was a pussy and wouldnt commit to meeting me so i dropped him. i dont know if its worth trying an online thing again
>>2529376i know its unhealthy and it makes me sad to think about it. the idea of coming home and not seeing my family makes me feel so nervous and unsettled. i dont know if its a self esteem thing, i mean ive done some independent "adult" things before like applying to jobs and working and driving myself around, i know i can do these things but i dont feel motivated to ever leave my family because im scared of not having them around. but i know im also limiting my growth as a person by doing that. so its just really conflicting. i guess ill probably just live with my parent until some nigel magically falls into my lap
>>2529458form-fitting t-shirt and jeans are the best i can offer kek
No. 2529751
>>2521992>Do you hate working because you find it difficult to maintain a decent quality of life on top of trying to build a career, or is it just the tedium of commitment?Yes to the first. Working sucks now because my standard of living is not that much better than my brother on welfare.
Also playing the office politics game for me is masking for 12-18 months until I annoy the wrong person, end up on the bottom of the social hierarchy and finally quit once I notice I have become the scapegoat.
No. 2529787
>>2529782I'm not really sure why being told that the way you dress impacts how others perceive you is so distressing. It's really just a normal part of living in society. It's why we try to dress up well when we go to church on Sundays or when we're going to an important job interview.
>If a woman is actually attractive no one gives a shit how she dresses>Only uglies and average joes cope with putting such emphasis on clothesThis isn't rooted in reality. Once you're a bit older and more experienced, you'll see things in a different light.
No. 2529827
File: 1747709924845.jpg (478.31 KB, 2721x1530, 65a803c0-7c5c-11ef-b02d-c5f3b7…)
>>2529771Wearing sneakers and a headband probably means that you're a terrorist or something according to that nona
No. 2529829
>>2529799That's so patronizing and gaslighting of you kek
But nah, I think I get better treatment than some of my female colleagues despite not wearing make up and wearing more comfortable clothes. At work and outside of it. Moids give me more attention too, offer me help and doing shit for me more often too. I was never disrespected, unlike beckies. And I sometimes get those passive aggreasive comments from those women "I wish I was pretty enough so I don't have to wear make up like you… but the way you dress, I dress better for a grocery store!" Yeah and that doesn't change the fact cute men treat me better than you and babies call me pretty (babies are the best judges of looks btw because they naturally see facial harmony and comment on it before society brainwashes them about "beauty being in the eye of the beholder" and other bullshit like that) and random women give me compliments on my features. I never felt like I had to "try" in my life, meanwhile beckies try to gaslight people like me and tell us society will treat us worse if we simply wear comfortable clothes. Well, I didn't notice that. The cope is real and female mating competition is something else man.
No. 2529831
>>2529782Absolutely not true. I've been in alt fashion circles since I was a kid and no matter that some of those girls were genuinely the hottest, conventionally beautiful and most stunning girls you'd ever see they'd get treated badly on the regular because of how they dress. I also know plenty of ultra normies who claim to be treated worse when not wearing makeup.
And not even just women, I've seen first hand how men who look sloppy and "homeless" due to hair and fashion get mistreated right away.
Especially also wrong because most social groups use fashion as an in-group identifier. You see someone wearing your sports team or band = that's now an ally with good taste. You're a troon and see a smelly goblin with green hair = you trust them because you know they're a fellow troon. Thinking how you dress doesn't affect you is severely underestimating the social signals you're sending out by what you wear.
No. 2529849
File: 1747710762202.jpg (48.7 KB, 425x438, 1592503944295.jpg)
>bragging about being a hot stacy who is effortlessly attractive in the literal autist thread
a bit mean innit
No. 2529985
File: 1747720902470.jpg (107.28 KB, 1000x1000, before-and-after-makeup.jpg)
>>2529887Yeah they're above you in the hierarchy of the work place so they can wear what they want while you're expected to still pay respects and look decent. But if you're applying to like a small firm selling napkins online I doubt they're gonna care much, they've pretty much already given up on life too so then you're safe.
I also feel like people underestimate how much of a difference makeup can do if you know what you're doing, most "naturally beautiful" women are pretty average without makeup, and most average women could look at least twice as good with makeup and styling. Saying this as someone who barely ever wears makeup because I still don't care kek
No. 2530068
>>2512947People who live in america sell crafts.
In my country it is impossible and nobody does that because mailing prices cost 3 times as much as the item, nobody will buy shit for such markup. An no its not the materials, its that the thing we were talking about cost like 100 euros while taking 100 hours. What the fuck am I supposed to eat on that?
>YOU have to instead offer them things that do workThere are no options, there are no work in this country for socially disabled people. There is no production, only service garbage.
>>2512885>>2514286I AM NOT QUALIFIED for them that the problem. I wont get hired and wont be able to hold shit down. My mom can't see it, she piggybacking me from through failing my job because she is mom. Administration is bad fit for autists because you have to juggle lots of different things at the same time, while autists can only hold focus on one thing at a time.
No. 2530127
>>2530068idk why you act like that's an "american" thing, i'm a eurofag.
>>2530068>I wont get hired and wont be able to hold shit down.So then try it and fail, that will prove to you both that it doesn't work. Shouldn't be an issue to not get hired for you if you're not qualified, but if you do get hired and fail after trying for a little while then ask the manager to do you a favor and write out why you weren't a good fit for the job. That will help you negotiate with you mom. Or, you could still literally just get that factory job you think you'd be good at as you still do not need their approval nor permission as you are a grown adult. Though admin can be a really great match for autists precisely because they can compartmentalize and focus on each area one at a time. But if that's not you it's not you.
>>2530071>all of the men with adhd didn't make it which gives me a feeling of superiority.Good job nona! And of course they didn't kek
No. 2530151
>>2529830Lol the fact that you just answered some made up shit as if it was scientific fact is kinda funny but so truely autistic.
Babies dont judge anything, they literally can't speak, I guess she meant toddlers but even so, toddlers evaluate faces based on how closely they remind them of their parents, they certainly dont care about your nose shape and whatever else usually bothers women.
No. 2530155
>>2530127There are literally no factory jobs in this country I already wrote just that.
> Shouldn't be an issue to not get hired for you if you're not qualifiedI wont anyways, the issue is she thinks it would be solved if I got some retarded papers, and I dont want to invest my time and energy into the venture that will fail anyways.
>idk why you act like that's an "american" thing, i'm a eurofag.You failed to adress anyhow how am I supposed to make a living and not go into debt earning 1 eurotoken per hours (which in itself implies impossible scenario that items get sold in the first place).
No. 2530670
What is everyone’s relationship with music? What kind do you like? I’ve always felt like I don’t experience music the same way as normies. I only care about how it sounds, the lyrics don’t matter at all. I love singing but it’s more about the sensory experience of manipulating my throat rather than the actual words.
>>2530463It’s very rare that I get along with fellow autists tbh. I try really hard to be a good conversationalist and just find myself annoyed and exhausted by people with the “doesn’t shut the fuck up” type of autism. Infodumping at someone is not a conversation…
No. 2530708
>>2530705If you're extremely afflicted and
other people also think you're autistic, it's probably fine, but otherwise no.
No. 2530752
>>2530705The autism diagnosis has become trendy and a way for some people to feel better about being weird and blame for all their issues instead of being critical. If you can't afford or get a diagnosis I believe it's fine if you research and personally consider yourself on the spectrum but it shouldn't be your online brand or something you broadcast a lot. You don't need to actually be diagnosed with autism for reading books and coping mechanisms for autistic people, you might simply have some overlap with autistic traits.
I myself kind of "self-diagnosed" and considered myself likely on the spectrum a year or so before I received my diagnosis from a psychiatrist, and mostly kept it to myself.
No. 2531332
>>2530927I've always felt that way. I find that with males they'll be more upfront about their thoughts, so it's easier to gauge the situation at a glance, plus I can freely call stuff retarded if I feel that they did/like something retarded. Whereas with normie women it seems like there's a constant invisible battle of deciphering hints from their end and needing to deliver the right cues from my end, and if I don't do well enough they secretly dislike me without any feedback about it. Most of my interests have also always been very male-dominated. When I was a kid I liked to do stuff like play fight with boys and hated common girly interests like painting nails and stuff, which made me socially dead on arrival.
I'm not a combative or argumentative person but I have a very straightforward personality and I've been told that sometimes people feel uncomfortable that I don't mirror their emotions or want to really talk about my own emotions either; I've been told that I mostly talk about "things" and prioritize being honest, whereas a lot of women want to talk about people/feelings and prioritize being relatable. That cliche saying about how "people don't want you to offer solutions, they just want you to listen" is the exact opposite of who I am most of the time and it's tough to do the reverse of what I'd want others to do for me in order to make people happy. I've also heard that it bothers some people when a woman doesn't have any interest in stuff like makeup/hairstyling/shaving/etc. but they won't say it outright, maybe that affects something.
For context I'm diagnosed in childhood and people "clock" me fairly regularly so I'm not a great masker except in short interactions or with old people.
No. 2531484
>>2526524ayrt i know it's been a few days but i gotta get it off my chest lol and i feel a bit more comfortable actually getting into the details now.
so he's a work coach at my job centre. it's mandatory i show up every few weeks for my appointments or i don't get the disability payments i need to fucking live - he isn't even my actual work coach, he stole me from my actual one (who is very nice and not a creep) and i was originally okay with that because we shared interests, you know? i'm stupid. my next appointment is with him too and i absolutely don't want to be in the same physical space as him, his desk is literally right across from where you sit while waiting to be called so even if i somehow managed to change my appointment to someone else, i know he'll fucking come over and bother me when i go. i'm too afraid he'll be able to read any messages i try to send to my actual work coach on the online journal thing, so i'm going to go into the building with my sister in a few days to speak to someone about it. weird messages aside, the fact he's used his governmental position to get my info and contact me outside of official means is apparently enough to get him fired.
i'd been kind of blaming myself and justifying it (again, stupid) because my main nervous response is fawning and laughing and maybe he misinterpreted it as flirting? both of my sisters were pretty quick to snap me out of that though
so he's probably going to get fucked but not in the way he hoped kek
No. 2531507
>>2530670Sorry for being super autistic about this. Good music gives me those tingles and shivers I assume people who enjoy ASMR videos get - maybe it is my version of ASMR? My definition of 'good music' is personal, a bit nebulous, and not really contained to a specific genre, but most of the time it's stuff that feels a bit ethereal and otherworldly. I think part of it is the literal vibes or rhythms and how they interact with my brain but idk what I'm talking about.
Some recent examples of music that gives me The Feeling, if you're curious: Sleep Token's Even in Arcadia (especially around 2:30), most of Crywolf (right now, Dreaming of Me // In Colours of White), Guillaume David's Noosphere (I desperately need more of whatever this genre is). For something a little more mainstream, everything by Florence + The Machine, specifically the Placebo or Meg Myers covers of Running Up That Hill, everything on TSS's Regrets album, the 80's remix of Hailee Steinfeld's Back to Life, and… Charli xcx's Apple. Don't ask.
Like the other nona who responded said, lyrics aren't particularly important to me unless they're so bad I can't ignore them, which puts me off, or they're poetic and resonate with me. It's mostly the vibes, man.
>>2531357Holy shit Ar Tonelico mention? Thanks for awakening a childhood memory. I used to know the lyrics to a bunch of the songs and Hymmnos is most likely partly to blame for my obsession with fictional languages lol
No. 2531691
File: 1747847011898.gif (1 MB, 275x207, 1503248534689.gif)
>>2531528 No but I didnt have a sex drive until much later than my friends and honestly don´t crave it except for three days while I´m ovulating. I have a hard time paying attention during sex but then I can´t come when I´m on my medication. Lol what gives?
No. 2531749
>>2530730Lots of doctors are retarded and try to pretend they know the patients symptoms better than the patients themselves
ADHD nonas can attest to this. I don't care about "muh they've been studying for decades" - ChatGPT does a better job at diagnosis than they do
No. 2531755
>>2531685he called me earlier using the official number under the guise of "oh there's a volunteer opportunity here and i immediately thought of you, you'd be such a good fit! but it's quite competitive so i wanted to reach out directly." i Really didn't want to answer because i knew it'd most likely be him but i was afraid of it actually being something important. luckily i just got accepted for a different volunteer job so i was able to immediately say no
going to go speak with someone on Friday about his behaviour - i have screenshots of the weirder shit he said in case he tries to cover his tracks but i probably won't even need to show them, the fact he's been contacting me outside of work should be enough to screw him on its own lmao
>>2531528autistic/adhd and i'm so full of love… i wish i had someone to share it with. i'm not too bothered about dating though. partially because i've only dated a few people and dating apps scare me, but the idea of dating itself is not that appealing. ideally i'll run into that perfect person one day, even if i know that's unrealistic. if it happens, it happens i guess!
No. 2531933
File: 1747859910591.png (297.02 KB, 425x307, birds.png)
I could write a huge essay on every gear of this problem but to put it briefly, I have always felt completely clueless about how to make friends. I'm not socially anxious and make efforts to put myself out there, but it constantly seems as though I'm missing something that keeps anything from sticking. People can tell that I have autism but I don't know what I'm supposed to even do about it; this isn't a tinfoil btw, this is people regularly outright making remarks that I'm strange or that I seem autistic.
A lot of the general advice I read doesn't seem to help me since I feel like I'm not just kinda quirky or whatever but that I have a fundamental disconnect from how human interaction works. Retarded example: years ago I read a tip that using someone's name in conversation helps build a sense of closeness, and pissed off someone that I wanted to become friends with because apparently I was doing it in an obviously forced manner towards someone who didn't consider themselves close to me or want to become friends. I've improved over time since I learned some generic things like "say hi to people when you see them" or "try to look people in the eye" but they're not natural for me and I still have to consciously choose to do them, so I'm liable to forgetting or being too overstimulated to juggle it all.
What can I do to self-improve? A lot of the social skills advice I see is centered around people who are insecure or have low self-esteem, but I don't have an issue with that… It's more that other people don't think highly of me, which gets in the way of my desire to have friends.
I recently shelled out thousands of dollars to start working with a psychologist who specializes in autistic women. We haven't started sessions yet but this is legitimately my last hope for ever integrating into society. If it doesn't work then I guess I'll try to accept that I'm too retarded to have friends.
No. 2531941
>>2531933If it's not too weird, where do you live? Like country or region wise? Have you lived in several different placed before, or always just the one? I ask because when I lived in my hometown, it felt impossible to make friends, but once I moved to a different city in a different region, I became a social butterfly without changing anything about myself. Sometimes it really is the environment in which we find ourselves. Some cities and places really are more asocial and closed-off than others.
As for tips, it's difficult for you because it sounds like you just need more practice with socialization. You might not be self-conscious or have low self-esteem, but you might still come off as sort of strange because you lack experience. It's like when you talk to a Mennonite, you can tell that they're from a different world and it clashes with your own. The best thing to do is to keep talking to people and getting more and more used to it. Pick up some books about conversation tips and small-talk guides. A lot of it will feel unnatural at first, but sociability is a muscle, you have to keep working it or else it atrophies and degrades.
Another thing is that you should never go into it thinking "I want to make friends." It's kind of paradoxical, but to make friends you have to not be looking for friends. Friendships happen organically and they develop slowly over time, which is why we usually make friends with people that we see quite often like coworkers, classmates, neighbours, fellow club-members, etc..
No. 2532007
>>2531709>a guy i barely know trying to flirt with me is the most uncomfortable and annoying thing everI feel this in my soul.
I’m not even conventionally attractive so I assume a man after me is a creep who is targeting me as an easy lay because my odd quirks can be mistakenly perceived as a lack of self confidence.
No. 2532050
File: 1747867948200.jpg (23.99 KB, 490x320, GnfFw_Ma0AA9YgK.jpg)
Why is it so expensive to get an assessment? I can't even afford the $300 just to see what the fuck is wrong with me
No. 2532156
>>2530705Autism is a condition that by literal definition comes with a social deficit from a developmental disorder. There are other causes of social deficit, for example a person could have a social deficit from growing up shielded or from child abuse and that wouldn't be autism.
That social deficit also means a person with autism is the LEAST qualified to assess and diagnose anyone (themselves or others) because they lack even the basic retrospect a normal-brained person has.
An autist self-diagnosing autism is like asking a schizophrenic to identify what is real and what isn't and assuming they're right - the condition itself makes it an impossible task. If you're right it would be pure fucking luck. It's far more likely a self-diagnosis comes from a non-autist who can easily see and feel that they're "different" and thus they think they must be an autist, failing to grasp that those deeply complex social reflections are only possible because they aren't actually autistic.
No. 2532262
>>2531941I have lived across Canada and the USA mainly in 2 different mid-sized cities. They themselves were different in a lot of ways but I've had the same experiences pretty much everywhere I've spent time in, I remember being so bummed since I moved countries largely because I thought maybe it'd be totally different. I'm going to move again soon to a more metro area in America and trying to be optimistic that maybe third time's the charm. From what I can gather, it's a mix of both where I do have a lot of intrinsic autistic traits but also that maybe a large city would have more resources and opportunities for someone like me.
I'll keep trying and hopefully there will be some new things to experience in a new place.
>>2531963Lol this reminds me of how I'd pretend to be a new immigrant and fake ESL talk as a young child to get unfamiliar adults to stop talking to me
No. 2532286
>>2532262It makes sense that you didn't have a good experience in Canada, the people there are really cold and cliquey. Were the American cities in the North?
If you move to a larger metro, try to find some clubs that you could join. You could try finding support groups for Adults with Aspergers, but sometimes these groups can be difficult because the people that go to them might not be interested in improving themselves. If you can find clubs that centre around certain interests, you'll probably find some autists in those clubs that would make for more quality friends. For example, clubs centered around bird-watching tend to be rife with autists in my experience. I'd also suggest doing some volunteering work at local women's shelters if there are any around. Usually the people that volunteer are a lot more open-minded and they're less likely to be judgemental, at least in my experience.
No. 2532386
File: 1747904890922.webp (22.53 KB, 401x429, Tony_the_tiger_thumb.webp)
>>2532289what the fuck is an "attractive" tiger anyway lmao what furry made that study
No. 2533042
>>2532156I disagree. Being autistic doesn't necessarily mean to have an intellectual disability, in fact, someone can be autistic and also gifted (not talking about savantism). This means that some autistic individuals are perfectly capable to reflect about themselves and their own circumstances.
Otherwise, masking wouldn't exist. The fact that some autistic people try to look non-autistic (usually without any success, though) means that some autistic individuals are able to identify patterns from non-autistic people, be enough self-aware to realise that they themselves are not following those precise patterns, and doing so, try to mimic them in order to hide certain traits that could reveal them as autistics.
This would demonstrate how some autistic individuals would be able to understand and identity their autistic traits. And even when obviously should be a doctor the one who gives or not a diagnosis, it's perfectly possible for some autistic people to have suspicions about their condition.
On a different topic, it's also worth to mention that some people diagnosed and treated for schizophrenia are sometimes able to recognise that they are indeed hallucinating. That's not something usual, though, but it's really helpful and comforting for the people who is struggling with schizophrenia and sometimes are able to identify hallucinations by themselves.
No. 2533049
>>2532115AYRT. Sorry, I didn't mean to invalidate your suffering. I'm very aware it's very discouraging to be suffering and don't receive the help you need. I don't know what country are you from, but you definitely would need to be properly diagnosed. Everything changes after that, usually, for the better.
As I said before, I don't know what country or place are you from, but I would look online if they were any associations in your area so they can guide you in this process. Maybe we can help you from here too.
No. 2533481
>>2533479I mean yeah but it's column a and column b because she does have it.
It's more that our sense of morality is something we're innately supposed to have (then why doesn't she have it) and that our unfiltered selves will inherently be a good thing (autistic people can suck too). I keep seeing these over and over again.
No. 2533511
File: 1747971550660.png (568.73 KB, 567x949, dd6XXKU.png)
>try to get assessed
>lady doing the intake is constantly talking about how tired she is, staring into space or rambling
>after like a 2 hour interview she decides I don't qualify because I can dress myself and string together a sentence
>mention being on anti-psychotics in the past
>"WHAT"
>she quickly skims through my medical history
>decides I actually do qualify because CBTorture isn't working on me
bitch.
No. 2533563
File: 1747979690278.png (79.67 KB, 226x269, vssxcvds.png)
I have dermatillomania and for once I decided to google on some recommendation to manage it and got btfo'd once more with how general human things don't apply to me. So bascially most recommendations there came from the position that I do supposedly do it because I hate myself so it was like "avoid triggers like mirrors, be kind to yourself" and I'm just kek. I do it simply whenever I feel bored, to get some sort of stimulation I start to glide through the skin actively searching for imperfections in texture to dig into. It happens unthinkingly.
So in case anyone else that have it, here are things that don't work.
- Fidgeting tools, the sensation is just not the same, and it doesn't feel satisfying.
- Silicon patches are 50/50. When I can be assed to use them it does work, but they are so much hassle holy shit and it also looks fucking weird to constantly walk around with patches on your face, not to mention the sensation of patch on face specifically feels very annoying especially if you happen to eat, and its also expensive.
-I thin silk gloves to try. Maybe I just wont feel all bumps on skin as acutely and wont have anything to latch on. On the other hand having lessened sensibility will likely annoy me on its own.
- Maybe will try NAC? I know that antidepressants don't help me in the slightest and I don't want to consume antipsychotics.
Don't have any other ideas at the moment.
No. 2533569
>>2532398>>2532388Maybe I expressed myself not quite well.
The person with hallucinations asked you if you see this too, because they can differentiate that things are off and asking a side opinion to confirm it. Most schizophrenics dont actually hallucinate even, its just obsessive thoughts, but principle is similar. They can differentiate reality from cognition, however since they are still bombarded with bullshit from their brain regardless of their opinion on it, they dont really have a choice but to lapse and succumb to it. Schizophrenics do actually suffer from their delusions. They cant have a release from them even when they realize that it doesn't really make sense.
I watched an interesting video, on "how it feels to be neurotypical" and the dude mentioned that he can just take his mind together and stop thinking about certain things. Mentally ill people often lack this capacity and it seems to be rather hard to grasp for healthy individuals that there is a rift between cognition and perception there that informs schizophrenics actorship. When you make schizos take mental capacity tests they generally have no issues with logic, it is only their specific delusions that ruin their lives (well and the comorbid stuff like avolition that disorganization)
No. 2533689
File: 1747996633953.jpg (52.92 KB, 686x386, hq720.jpg)
>>2533569The original point was just that the narrative is most unreliable. Do you trust an anorexic to be able to assess if she's too fat? If she says "yup I'm too fat" why should everyone believe her and accept that as if it were true? And if an obese person says she's anorexic (tess holiday) do you believe her?
No. 2533832
>>2533590what is NAC?
does the self harm trick of wearing a hair tie on your wrist and pinging yourself with it work?
No. 2534058
>>2533832>>what is NAC?N-Acetyl Cysteine. I've never tried myself but, for the looks of it, the only "possibly effective for" use is in cases of irritability in autism. It doesn't seem to be categorised as "effective" towards compulsive behaviours. But again, I've never tried it, it's just what I've read:
https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-1018/n-acetyl-cysteine-nac>>2533990>>Its been more than 24 hours since I last took my StraterraMaybe I'm not understanding you here, but it is supposed to be taken daily, for at least a month, to see the effectiveness.
https://www.drugs.com/strattera.html#dosage>>2534041>>Writing on myself with a red marker or snapping has never worked.Same, sadly.
No. 2534116
>>2534060This used to be me, technically it’s still me because I don’t live alone so I also have to manage my expectations when my roommate uses something i needed for a recipe and then I let the rest rot because I cba to go to the corner store and get more. But I’m much better at fridge management these days.
Here is what worked for me, might work for you:
>buy frozen veggie and berry mixes whenever possible, especially if you are using easily perishable food like avocado, frozen avocado cubes are good>plant milks instead of normal milk for coffee>but avoid avocado if you can because it takes weeks to ripen, is ripe for 5 minutes and then gets gross>same goes for berries, refrigerated salad mixes, bananas, mango>apples and pears keep well for a long time, so do onions, garlic and harder fruit like kiwi, nectarine peaches>always keep a few things of crushed tomatoes in a jar, sliced mushrooms, beans/lentils/other pulses, corn, pesto>freeze sliced bread and double toast when you need it>don’t bother with fresh spices and herbs and don’t listen to spice snobs, we’re just not built that way - but do use fresh garlic because it keeps well>keep some protein on hand like tofu, seitan, some other meat replacement, mushrooms>have some whole wheat wraps on hand, and some couscous>you can roast some frozen wok mix veggies in a pan, add spices and sauce you like, mix with protein of your choice and use that as wrap filling with salsa, or eat with couscous>pasta is always nice to have>frozen fish filet is nice to haveI still eat chicken, fish, eggs and fresh fruits and veggies when I can but the key is to cook it the same day you get it if it’s something like chicken. Dairy products I have to buy in very small quantities otherwise it spoils.
Might be hard if you’re in a car centric place and your nearest store is far away, but it’s still worth buying frozen stuff if you have a freezer. It’s been a lifesaver for me and I eat much healthier now, plus it’s infinitely cheaper than delivery
Sorry if my post is all over the place, I’m not good at managing my ADHD in every sphere of life kek
No. 2534137
>>2534058I read about nac on the wikipage of skinpicking disorder itself not separately
"Another class of possible pharmacological treatments is glutamatergic agents such as N-acetyl cysteine (NAC). These products have shown some ability to reduce other
problematic behaviors such as cocaine addiction and trichotillomania.[3] Some case studies and some small studies of NAC have shown a decrease in picking by treatment with NAC compared with placebo.[3]"
>>2533644I dont know what they officially cause but all people I know who have taken them were completely broken
No. 2534745
>>2534465Yes to both.
Dating a normie:
it made me feel like I was never good enough, like I was a charity case who needed help with everything, the weakest link at all times. Even in the areas I outshine them it was like "she can do that
despite sucking at everything else" and it wasn't truly valued. I was constantly on edge and had to pretend/mask to be more normie to fit in. Normies don't really "get" special interests and their intensity nor importance, unless maybe they've grown up with an autist in their family. Everything I did was judged wrongly like: I'm anxious and can't speak = I'm giving them the silent treatment and am being an unreasonable bitch. I ask something for reassurance ("it's like this, right?") = I'm a stupid idiot who needs to be told basic things. But when I ask a real question = I just need to be told "you can do it" with no further instructions. I don't like certain social things (like I don't drink/do drugs) = I'm a buzzkill who won't suck it up to please everyone else. They always "read between the lines" even though I meant what I said literally, they insist they know better what I think than what I do.
Dating a sperg:
I feel so much more understood and seen. We have opposite sperg issues so we actually cover for each others weaknesses yet have compassion for the others flaws. When I do something they struggle to do they're genuinely impressed and grateful that I have those skills. They fully engage with and encourage my nerdy special interests even when they're weird and/or childish. They also have niche interests which is way more fun than normies who kinda just like go to parties or watch movies. They also come with an understanding family (assuming they're not from a shit family, but I'm lucky they're not) who is used to dealing with autism (since their own child has it) and rather than being seen like a charity case they're genuinely so happy that their weirdo autist child found true love, so they treat you like a a princess and love you. They also usually keep track of disability news/benefits etc since they're used to do that for their child's sake, so that benefits you too.
I also like how when I say "I don't know how to do/dress/act for this" they don't do what normies do and laugh it off like "you'll be fine, just act normal", they actually understand that I mean I literally do not fucking know the correct social norms and we should look it up and make sure to get it right.
No. 2535078
>>2534954nope, I love it! it's sensory heaven to me and i wear sleeveless tops to allow me to feel my soft hair on my skin more
>>2535018i think you should set clear limits of what is allowed to be kept and not. An empty package is trash, say bye to it so it can be recycled into a new cool package that will make people happy. Rocks are outside items, she can have a collection outside but not in her room.
No. 2536246
>>2534954definitely cut your hair shorter so you won't feel it as much and don't need to tie it up
>Getting out of the shower is a missioni feel this though for the reason of being suddenly cold, i have to have a space heater running and making the room like 90 degrees even if it's hot in my house, it's the worst part of showering for me
No. 2536337
>>2536325I'm so jealous nona, well done
>>2535972can you explain for someone who doesn't know anything about bpd
No. 2536423
>>2536337BPD = desperately craves attention, constantly engages in attention seeking behavior like self-harm/arguments/threats, obsessed with specific people and do extreme things to get/keep their attention, emotions depend entirely on whether others are giving them attention
Autism = the opposite of all that and not liking being the center of attention in general
No. 2536532
>>2536458Many professionals still see autism as a male disease and believe women very rarely have it and that their symptoms must be something else. Whereas BPD is considered a female disease and men are rarely diagnosed with it. So they slap the BPD label on basically any woman who has "abnormal" emotions. It's like the modern version of the "hysteria" diagnosis of the 40s-50s.
BPDs claim to have autism because they think they'll be seen in a more sympathetic light, as manic pixie dream girls or whatever.
No. 2536722
>>2532050…$300 sounds like a good deal. I hope you can make that kind of money soon.
>>2531528I feel like in my personal case, it's far more complicated than just adhd or autism, of which i have both. I am really unfortunate looking irl, have lifelong acne and i feel like to look decent sometimes i need to be at war with my body. Knowing how ugly i am and that i won't be treated well if i am below average turns me off dating so much. But i feel like i can't claim to be aromantic because i don't know what i would have done if i was lucky enough to be average looking enough to attract moids, i feel like i am lying to myself by claiming to be asexual/aromantic in some sense and i am just engaging in cope. In addiction, i take clonidine for adhd in combination with sertraline and my sex drive has been completely deleted. As long as i take this combination of medication for a prolonged period of time, it's not even on the table to date in any capacity. I am almost 30 too, but honestly i just can't imagine my life having any kind of companionship at this point. I can barely make friends, let alone deal with being in an intimate relationship. Plus i have a schizoid personality type.
No. 2536926
File: 1748243360118.jpeg (39.19 KB, 529x580, IMG_8361.jpeg)
Nearly had a meltdown at work today due to noise caused by solar panels being installed on the roof, I could hear it over my noise cancelling earphones and even when I was playing music with the noise cancelling so I know it was loud and right above and next to where I was sitting, was able to leave work easily but the fact that sound can do that to me is so tiring
No. 2538309
>>2538303
Sorry, let me rephrase:
Nta, but like, super sorry to like bring it up, because like I know you probably didn't, like, know, or whatever, but, like I think that you need to maybe check over what you wrote again - because everyone makes mistakes, as Miley Cyrus says, and maybe, just this one time, you possibly, could have, potentially, made a mistake. I just think, and in my opinion only, and you're free to hold a different, like, opinion, that anyone can have a "meltdown," which, by the way, is totally not an OK word to use in 2025, because it's like steeped in anti-mental healthism, but like, just for a lack of a better word we'll say "meltdown," but I'm not, like, accusing anyone of having one, or that it's bad to have one, or anything like that; but, sometimes anyone can have one, especially people that have ADHD, since sometimes, and I don't mean every time because everyone is different, but since some people with ADHD can be a little emotional, and don't get me wrong about that because it's okay to be in touch with your emotions, but it's just how it is sometimes in my opinion (and you're free to have a different opinion). I don't think - but this is just my thoughts so you can have different thoughts as well because everyone is entitled to their own thoughts - that it's healthy to pathologize normal human, like, behaviours, just in my opinion. Super sorry I ever brought it up and I really apologize for even bringing it up in the first place because I know, like, that I'm probably 1000% wrong because like, I'm not perfect either and, like, I could potentially be wrong too, and like I'm not saying that I know, like, everything, but like I just wanted to bring it up just this once, just in case maybe I'm right.
Do I have to type every post like that now to avoid being randomly accused of "aggression" from a sensitive anon?(bait)
No. 2538322
>>2538091Cptsd = bpd
Ptsd = what
>>2538114 said.
Anger issues in ADHD only happens in a lot of ADHD children, if it’s also seen in adults that means often times a personality disorder (cptsd/bpd). I have seen many adult adhd women with traumas, they haven’t been angry as children but they did become women with repressed anger issues.
No. 2538414
>>2536377>"Autistic sense of justice" or "neurodivergent sense of justice" is a bullshit lie. Autists are in no way more moral or ethical than others thanks to their disorder. It comes from autists' rigidityI mean yeah that's the same thing? Disregarding drooling retards like
>>2536440 mentioned because as we've discussed many times aspergers/high function and level 3 autists aren't really the same disorder anyway. It also obviously wouldn't affect other "neurodivergent" people (still not a real term, but whatever) because it's got nothing to do with ADHD. I do know a lot of autists, myself included, who are pretty hung up on rules and doing the "right" thing. I'd even admit to teachers when I had done something wrong in school when I easily could have gotten away with it when it was an accident because "it was the right thing to do". You break the rules, you face the consequences. That's the system, and I'm following it. I did not cheat or break rules, because that's wrong. I didn't swear, I didn't drink, didn't do drugs. And I still don't because I was taught that is wrong, bad, illegal etc and I just accepted that with no desire to break the rules. So I do have very strong morals, because I have rules and morals I'm sticking to and no amount of peer pressure could change that. If you have morals and you don't follow them, then you don't actually have morals - as the saying goes.
So back to the other autists I know with a sense of "justice". Many of them are vegan/vegetarian because they don't want animals to get killed on their behalf. I on the other hand find it preposterous to insist killing animals for food is inherently evil. That would make every predatory animal (which is most of them) evil too. It's also saying that plants are a lower life form not worthy of the same respect and that nature is wrong and evil by default too. I cannot convince them that eating animals is ok, and they cannot convince me that eating animals is evil. You may not agree that one or the other is the right side to be on, but the fact remains that we all stick strongly to our beliefs.
>Sure, the ones who use it to become political activists or something are much more well known. But you also have other types of autists like Chris Chan basement dwelling pedosYeah, because as it stands what gets labeled "autism" is a mix of conditions and not just one single disorder. Just like the drooling retards aren't the same as aspie women, a deranged pedo moid doesn't really have the same condition either. But because some retard one day went "hurr durr it's a spectrum" we're all stuck being associated with all these other conditions.
No. 2539427
>>2539391>I feel highly paranoid of the prospect of having to take meds. I've been on various antidepressant for 11 years now and it never truly got betterI was in your exact position, and I stopped meds because of this! Took meds for years that didn't actually help and I had a sneaking suspicion and felt like they made me "worse". I can't prove they hurt my brain, but I feel dumber and number and like I missed out on developing properly because my brain was busy dealing with chemicals that had no business being there. Not to mention the money sunk into the meds that I could have used for meaningful things. And also the time wasted on waiting for meds to become stable, monitoring them, meeting doctors, having to plan around when to refill the meds… when I could have spent that time and money on actual therapy or training.
>it feels extremely dismissive when they propose it.It fucking does because it is. Once I finally decided to quit meds I realized meds is the one single thing they offer, and they hate taking no for an answer. I wanted to actually work through my issues and learn how to deal and cope, but all they did was to shill drugs for me and call me paranoid for not wanting them anymore. They acted like I was a schizo too stupid for my own good. Every fucking session with therapists, doctors, caretakers of any kind was wasted on them asking if "I'm sure I don't want them", explaining "they're safe you know", "most people improve with them", "why not just try them?" as if I hadn't tried for 7 years already! And then half the session time was gone because none of them could accept it. They don't actually know how to help, they just know how to sell you drugs so you shut up.
No. 2539431
>>2539392It's very common for kids! You have to work with it, not against it. Instead of going "throw those rocks away, that's trash!" you mentally manipulate and guilt trip to make the right choice. So for rocks you would go something like
>"Rocks are only found outside in nature because they don't like being inside a house. They get so sad! Those poor little rocks look really sad to me! Why don't we make them a corner in the garden so you can visit them and they can be happy? They would be sooo happy if you made them a little corner outside with all of their rock friends!"Works better the younger they are kek