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No. 2346005
Discuss all topics pertaining to Autism, Aspergers or ADHD/ADD experiences as a woman here.
Talk about the difficulty of diagnosis as a woman, the struggles that accompany autism, or share strategies that you developed to help cope with your diagnosis. For anons with ADHD/ADD, discuss your struggles, or share your advice to cope with your issues related to your attention disorder.
Or even discuss your thoughts on how recent attention to autism/ADHD on social media affects those afflicted.
Previous threads:
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>>>/ot/586560 No. 2346474
>>2346467I think it's really different for everyone. I mask most of the time, but I have to choose different masks (so to speak) depending on the situation I'm in. You have to be like a mirror; reflect the atmosphere around you. If I'm at a book club, I'll be more verbose, more sarcastic; if I'm at a party, I'll be more bubbly, more energetic; if I'm at church, I'll be more solemn, more pensive. All those traits are part of my core personality, it's just about choosing which parts of me to show the people around me in a given situation.
I don't think of 'masking' as anything major. I think it's just about projecting a good, friendly personality. A lot of people, autistic or not, act differently out in public than they do at home. I don't think masking is about
becoming non-autistic, it's more just about blunting some of the traits that normies find the most grating. Like, when I'm around people I know & trust, I'm quite the chatterbox, but of course around strangers I need to reel that in and be more careful with my words.
>Practise by asking for help.I'd really caution against this. You never want to look too naïve, or too helpless, in public. Asking for help might seem to get you more attention, but it puts a target on your back too. It's better instead to talk about open ended things, like: weather, recent events, or appropriate situational topics. Almost everyone will complain about the weather with you if you bring it up. Small talk is actually really easy once you get the hang of it, I'll never understand people that "hate small talk."
>Mirror the other persons body gestures Don't do this.
No. 2346486
>>2346471>>2346474That's true, nonas. I'm just trying to get a conversation going regarding socialization. I'm on my way to peruse previous threads.
I find it that "being myself" doesn't work often. I am energetic and I like attention and talking to people, so my default state just makes me spill out my differences so much more easily and NTs start to take me for an idiot
No. 2346717
>>2346476You must live in Heaven and I'm jealous.
>>2346515The trick is to keep the conversation light and the questions general, like "did you see any good movies lately?" and not "what's your favourite movie?" The questions should be vague and open-ended, not specific.
No. 2347217
Here are a list of things that ive internalized and have been working on over the years. I would appreciate if you would leave your own tips in the comments. It would be nice to make a master list of social tips and tricks. Ive probably missed some things, and im hoping you guys will fill in the blanks and teach me some new things. Apologies if these are written strangely, I'm not the best at articulating my thoughts.
Maintain meaningful eye contact to establish presence. Shifty eyes can indicate discomfort and a lack of confidence.
Stop speaking from the back of your throat and start speaking from your chest.
Avoid looking at the floor, always look straight forward or up.
You can practice the way you talk by recording a conversation with yourself every day. This helps you articulate yourself better, which is a big aspect of confidence.
Smiles and laughter are contagious. Same with enthusiasm.
People love hearing their names, say them frequently. Nicknames may also help to endear you to them, but i haven't thoroughly tested this.
Chest out, shoulders back. Good posture = confidence. Take up space. Hold yourself like a king.
A conversation takes place entirely in the moment, stop thinking about what youre going to say, or what you have said, and work on being present. Devote all of your attention to the conversation at hand to establish presence. When you find your mind wandering, take a deep breath and bring yourself back to the moment. On this same note, avoid fidgeting (sign of discomfort) or playing with something (like your phone) when in a conversation.
Whether people conciously realize it or not, anxiety is always noticeable, and infectious. Take a deep breath and calm yourself.
People like beautiful people, but theres only so much you can do to your face. Be healthy and dress nice to maximize your looks. (Theres a whole lot i could go into on picking the right outfit for the occasion, but itd be too much for this post)
This one is a half baked observation that i haven't properly tested yet. Beauty comes from symmetry, but if you're anything like me, youre not beautiful or symmetrical. Slightly exaggerated facial expressions (dont go overboard) can help to hide this and probably make you seem more personable.
Ask people for favors. People like feeling useful.
To establish friendliness (agreeableness?), sit next to someone rather than across from them.
Body follows mind, mind follows body. Its almost impossible to conciously maintain confident body language. But if you can get yourself in a confident mindset (fake it till you make it works wonders here) your body will follow. Equally, if youre having a hard time getting yourself in a good mood, go somewhere private and throw your hands in the air, start dancing, jump around, etc. This one is lame, but its hard to be in a bad mood when youre like that. If you have good enough charisma you may actually be able to do this in front of others and you might find that your projected exitement becomes contagious (caution, know your crowd).
Adding on to the last point, to be charismatic, you need to be in a charismatic mood. A bad mood will ruin your social skills, so learn to control your emotions.
Make people feel unique and special. Modern people like hearing about how theyre different from others (in good ways).
A persons favorite topic is themselves. (This is a big one)
Compliments are great, but make them meaningful. Compliments on appearance tend to have less of an effect on women, but both men and women appreciate compliments on personality traits like kindness, attitude, intelligence, etc. Strike a balance though. Dont excessively compliment lest they take them for granted and they lose their value.
Make people associate your appearance/presence with pleasent things. You want to reward people for talking to you and being around you. Gifts and good smells work well, but good feelings work the best. This one is difficult to establish (im still trying to figure it out myself, I would very much appreciate if someone could add on to this), but try not to make people associate negative feelings with you (awkwardness and anxiety are big killers on this one).
Make people seek you out. If you initiate conversation too often, it can turn people off from you. Conversation with you is a treat, people should come to you to earn it.
Mimic body language. In the event that your partner is exhibiting negative body language, continue to mimic them but slowly transform your own body language into that of confident body language, and oftentimes your partner will follow and inadvertently cheer themselves up. Mind follows body.
Adopt certain phrases/sayings/metaphors/etc based on the interests of the person youre talking to.
First impressions are incredibly important
Establish yourself as reliable. Be the first to rise to a challenge. Be the first to speak when the waiter asks for your order.
A healthy amount of mystery is important to keep people interested in you.
Offer comfort, not advice (unless asked).
Recognize harmful thought processes and quell them quickly. I tend to sabotage my own conversations when theyre going too well, and i start doubting that i can keep it going. Recognize these doubts, take a deep breath, and regain your presence.
Good social skills are boosted by a genuine love and interest in people. If you want a reliable way to practice social skills, eat at a restauraunt alone and make conversation with your server. They have an incentive to talk to you (tips) so you'll always find a decent conversation partner.
A lot of your social skill has to do with your internal state. Its difficult to do anything socially when youre also trying to overcome anxiety, apathy, and low self esteem. Most confident people never have to think about things this hard. Think of the queen bee in high school, or the stars of the football team. Everybody loves them, but i don't remember seeing any of them pick up "how to win friends and influence people". The strength of us less charismatic people is that we've been forced to assess our own inadequacy, and through diligent research and study, we've learned the ins and outs of conversation. We have comprehensive and thorough knowledge of what makes people charismatic. If you can conquer your internal roadblocks, talking to people will be a walk in the park.
No. 2347238
>>2347217Not trying to be mean, but a lot of these aren't "tips," they're traps.
>>2347237You missed the conversation by 9 days.
No. 2347389
>>2347237>Getting diagnosed with autism as an adult is near impossible.Maybe for you, I got diagnosed really easily as an adult because I simply fit the criteria. I'd personally say there were some "red flags" to me getting diagnosed, and I still got it.
>>2347254I don't mask so I didn't really understand what it was until recently. I thought like you that it's just like when normies have different personalities depending on the situation, like being serious at work and goofy at home. But it's not, it's supposed to mean when autists (iirc coined specifically for female autists because men didn't tend to do it at all) mimic actions of normies to fit in.
To give an example. A football team has red shirts, so the normies who are fans buy their red shirts. A normie sees that and goes "oh I'm not super into sports, but I don't mind representing the team when we hang out together" so they buy one. An autist sees it and goes "wait they're all wearing the same clothes? I must also buy and wear this shirt since that seems important to do" and then they get confused when someone asks who their favorite player is because they didn't understand it was a football thing. They were just mimicking without understanding in an attempt to fit in. That's masking.
No. 2347437
>>2347217My first tip is to learn how to space things out so you don't post a massive hard-to-read wall of text.
>>2347238>Not trying to be mean, but a lot of these aren't "tips," they're traps.No idea what this means, I think most of what anon wrote are good general pointers to social interactions?
No. 2347463
>>2347289>you don't mask at allTrue, because masking is not real.
>you have no friendsAlso true, but it's more due to voluntary isolation than anything.
>>2347389Literally bullshit. Every normie tries to fit in.
No. 2347714
File: 1736962150756.jpeg (87.96 KB, 660x830, posture.jpeg)
>>2347500>It’s so hard to work on something so ingrained thoughThat's why it's "work on" and not "get a magical 5 second fix". See a physiotherapist and explain your issues, just be honest and tell them you're autistic and that you feel this is an issue for you. There's no reason to wallow in self-pity when people have it as their job to help you sort it out! Worst thing that can happen is they go "nope, you're unfixable" but at least then you can actually say you tried and it's not your fault.
Cheaper options include looking up videos on youtube on how to improve your posture and try their exercises. And if you like other anons mention are seriously worried about how you walk and want to change it then it's super easy to study it. Look at any video or movie that has women walking normally and you read it as normal. Then set up your phone to film yourself walking around. See if you can pin point more exactly what it is you do that they don't. Using my own experiences in what I think looks "off" when others walk you could look for:
>not keeping your back straight (I think this is the biggest offender)>shoulders up too high like you're covering in fear>turtle necking (again related to keeping your back straight) by sticking your neck out forwards instead of up>shuffling your feet, not lifting them off the ground properly>hand placement 1, keeping your hands/arm against your chest/front area so it looks like you're sneaking around>hand placement 2, wildly waving your arms around too much (kids do this a lot)If you look at picrel you can see that literally just changing the posture makes this woman look totally different, the left looks like she'd awkwardly shuffle along by default. Even if the left walks normally with her legs her poor posture is gonna give her an air of "lurking" which looks off. Just by making sure her back is straight she instantly just reads as normal. And the good thing is that practicing keeping your back straight and in a good posture can be done anywhere at any time! Even if you're out around people nobody thinks adjusting your back to stand or sit up more straight is weird in any way.
No. 2347776
>>2346467Look a bit above the nose, like the lower forehead next to the eyebrows in order to fake eye contact. Be sure to not stare too intensely and to look away briefly at certain times, but not too far away from the speaker or they'll call you out as rude or distracted. Make sure not to look away and instead try to have a more relaxed posture/eyelids when you're having a serious or emotional conversation or you'll be accused of being insincere.
Give some type of confirmation or reaction that you're listening, like nodding "hmm-hmms" or gestures and changes in posture.
Since we're talking about posture, does anyone know how to walk less "weird"? I've been clocked before just because of the way I walk, is there any guide on how to walk or something? Even when I have a nice posture my movement looks off.
No. 2347837
>>2347728>Scoliosis is a bitchWith all due respect, if you're any of the previous nonas who said "I don't know how they spot me just from walking or what I'm doing wrong" while fully aware you have scoliosis… I think you do know why. In that case you could literally just inform people you have scoliosis and they won't think you're a retard just because you walk funny. I still think keeping your neck and head high would give you the appearance of looking more normal.
>>2347776>does anyone know how to walk less "weird"? I've been clocked before just because of the way I walk, is there any guide on how to walk or something? I wrote all
>>2347714 and you won't even read it smh. If you're able to tell you walk weird, you should be able to compare yourself to an average person walking and spot what is different by playing both videos over and over. If the way you walk looks normal to you, why bother trying to change it?
No. 2347980
>>2347880That was not being aggressive, I mean this genuinely and nicely but you should try to not take everything as a personal attack on you. It's a normal post, I just don't walk on egg shells with my fellow retards and instead treat them like I would any normal person including some light sass.
>>2347886You're welcome nona! Good luck with whatever things you were brooding over. Sometimes you need to get the brooding out of you before you can snap out of it and go get things done I love you too go get 'em girl
No. 2348704
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>>2348564bitch I'm autistic, what else did you expect kek
No. 2348858
Don't get mad at me don't get mad at me I'm just severely autistic and confused, I don't understand the world around me.
Soo does any other autistic here also doesn't understand human sexual intimacy? To me it looks like all the ways as a woman you can get stimulation in heterosexual intimacy or all the things you can do in it is serve dick, as if everything exists for male pleasure for expl. I don't understand why women suck dick if it only serves men. So my problem is that I can't comprehend sexual intimacy due to this and I get overwhelmed while trying to even understand it, bc sometimes this shit makes no logical sense like the sucking dick shit they say they do it for their own pleasure, but it only pleasures men physically. Another thing is that the most realistic sex video I've seen was some twitter couple, natural lighting, normal camera, average bodies and even tho the movements were slow, the woman looked like she's being stabbed in the mouth, her mouth looked stretched from male genitals. It looked like sadomasochism. Sexual intimacy looks like sadomasochism to me and I cannot fucking understand it. I don't even understand female sexuality and the meaning of it, anytime women share their sex lives, I just hear male pleasure male pleasure male pleasure male pleasure. I wish someone could explain it all to am autist like me, because I can't get a natural thing, and I'm constantly agitated over the way sex looks like for women, I don't understand why as a woman I have a position in sex that makes absolutely zero logical sense to me, because sex is supposedly supposed to be something cool, fun where you get served and have power. I don't understand the intimacy between a man and a woman body… Why is intimacy for a woman about male pleasure? I don't understand sex… Please help me anyone else feels like this, I know a lot of autists can't comprehend sex either. I'm soooooo fucking confused over other women sexual behaviors, but I'm not allowed to ask questions, I'm not allowed any explanations. I'm a struggling autistic kek
No. 2349252
>>2348858Anon you clearly have an unhealthy sexual fixation. Like
>>2348947 said there's literally no reason for you to "understand" any of it unless you want to partake in it. The fact that you literally watch blow job videos on twitter tells us a lot about how fixated you are and what kind of hyper sexual spaces you hang around. Most normies think at least one if not all aspects of anal sex, BDSM, pegging, choking etc is gross and wouldn't ever partake in it, but they don't hyperfixate on it trying to "understand" it. They just think "ew, sounds gross and not for me" and move on.
I would even say not understanding and sharing sexual turn ons of others IS the norm. Grab any average middle aged bloke of the street and 99% of women would think sleeping with him sounds repulsing, but he has a loving wife at home who has eyes for no other man. Nobody else on the entire planet sees him in a sexual way but her. Going around all day fixated and wondering how the hell she can see him as sexually attractive would be insane, would it not?
No. 2349308
>>2349237Do you open up about yourself?
>>2349239This happens to me too. I’m good at making charismatic first impressions.
>>2349270I feel this. Are you a good listener? I often become a good sounding board for talkative people
No. 2349334
>>2349252>>2348947Literally everywhere else, everyone overshares the details of their sex lives or fantasies which are the actual facts. If someone has a libido of fucking course they want to have a sex life and be involved. Is it not true that women experience pleasure differently from men when they have sex with each other. Why can't you just be straightforward about this when someone asks anonymously. Why is it such a violation of privacy when you're probably going to sperg in another thread about how much you love dick.
>>2348865This is retarded. The main way women have sex is PiV. They experience pleasure from a man going inside of them. So a man getting pleasure from feeling the inside of their body. Instead of experiencing pleasure from going inside of something. Why are they satisfied with this difference. What is so empowering/desirable about being the female getting fucked by a man?
No. 2349378
>>2349334All I see is too much yapping and not enough time documenting insects. This is the autism thread, obsessing about dick
can't be your special interest. What do you actually do for fun?
No. 2349646
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I love my autism. I think that having autism is one of my favourite things about myself. Sometimes I feel so much joy inside me that it seems like my heart is gonna burst. I love all my autistic family and autistic friends too. Sometimes I sit in the sunshine by flowers and trees and I pray that everyone can feel this lightness that I feel.
No. 2349653
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>>2349646I'm catching your good vibes and sending them right back atchu
nonny. Thanks for being a bright spot, and hope your next time in the trees is full of crisp fresh air!
No. 2349742
>>2349698She is aimless often. She's at university but keeps skipping days and is behind on all her coursework but then takes a holiday for 2 weeks because she doesn't seem to grasp the seriousness of passing school (she's not rich but she still visits some of her ex boyfriends), however she goes into child-mode whenever her boyfriends get aggressive because she never learnt how to deal with angry people. Instead of avoiding drug addicts she'll date them instead because she thinks she can save them for some reason. She dated a coke addict and he actually went to prison for using his business loan for drugs and was 20k in debt, before he went to prison though he stalked her and stole her car (but she got it back luckily and even paid the parking ticket he purposely made her get by illegally parking it). She also
sent this guy nudes and videos of herself because he asked for it, without questioning what a drug addict (who is always looking for money) would do with them. She also dated an alcoholic who blamed her for everything afterwards. It just doesn't seem like autism it seems like PTSD and she's just cycling through shit and repeating her trauma compulsively. She's too childlike despite being in ner late 20s.
>>2349704ayrt. Okay, that makes sense. I thought it would've helped her get better help but maybe her tutors will actually listen to her now she's got a diagnosis of autism at least.
No. 2350081
First of all, I don't understand why I'm being gaslighted this much, second why all of my points got dismissed, third this a thread for autistic women too and we struggle with human intimacy.
>>2349252And everyone says that this act is a normal sexual act in human intimacy so I'm trying to understand human sexual intimacy because I don't understand why as a woman I am so cucked in it and it agitates me, sex is a natural thing I'm trying to comprehend
And also sex is not nuanced, the way humans get stimulation is the same for every woman, and for every man, based on sex. And I just don't understand it all and why I have a problem with sexual intimacy, why I have a problem with all of these acts, because during them you have to experience submission like while sucking dick which anons most of the times say is a normal part of a human sex life. I'm genuinely struggling and all of you just gaslight me and say wrong shit like saying that I have no idea what real sex looks like. You don't need to have sex to know this, also power dynamics are natural in sex therefore in human intimacy which hating makes you a disordered person and I'm disordered but I got accused of being a pornsick fixated freak instead but the woman who suck dicks a e supposedly not the ones fixated on dick, it's completely meaningless and neutral! Evil me for talking about the taboo topics aka sex meanwhile the whole internet is allowed to shit out posts about it all the time, everywhere.
(off topic) No. 2350087
>>2350081This:
>>2350068Is not me also, the previous post is my first response her after the intimacy post + I literally stumbled across the twitter video randomly. The whole world has sex but I'm the obsessed one! Okay!
No. 2350091
File: 1737101736068.png (2.21 KB, 635x474, anythingbetter.png)
>>2350081You're making problems for yourself. Just stop. To keep it on topic for autismo thread, what you're doing is called rumination and is a symptom some of us struggle with. The solution really is to just stop thinking about it and find literally anything better to do.
No. 2350179
This is a post for other autistic women, so normalfaggots stop responding to me atp. I'm also not trying to infight, I'm just really high on the spectrum and I don't realize I'm being inappropriate or sound mean, then people jump at my throat.
Anons who call me a virgin don't understand that someone doesn't need to have sex to know how sex looks like and what it is, you're not the only expert on this just because you have it, we can even google realistic videos of sex, and that twitter video was the most realistic I've ever seen, the more realistic a sex video is, the more traumatic it is to me, because I have a problem with the sex and the way intimacy looks like between a man and a woman naturally, it's shocking to my sensitive autistic mind. Even a normal sex act like the woman riding the man on that video looked like she's just serving him with her body. I can't accept my female biology neither intimacy. I know a lot of autistic women also have a problem with this, so I was asking them.
And I don't care if someone doesn't have some of these sex acts(however saying that most women don't suck dick was a manipulative dismissal of my points I made and desperate attempt to ignore the reality we actually are living, I'm just trying to comprehend the world around me as an autistic), because all of these acts I mentioned are a natural part of a human intimacy, I can't comprehend it neither I am okay with experiencing extreme submission and vulnerability like for expl. in oral sex on men, or being penetrated/fucked from behind(while men don't have to be on all fours for women, so that's not equal, so yo me it makes zero logical sense that this is how intimacy looks like), I know how it looks like and what sex is,but I have a fear of intimacy and I wanted to ask other autistic women if they feel similar. I felt agitation over how sex looks like for women since I was around 13(and I experience libido and sexual attraction, so this psychological problem is really hard for me) and became aware of all these submissive, horrifying(to me) sexual positions for women, I couldn't accept that I will never experience human sexual intimacy aka love, if I don't become okay with being fucked like this in those positions, I know it's stimulating but it doesn't make it equal neither I can erase my mental blockage against it. I'm not okay with experiencing this submissiveness neither being seen in those positions spread like this and fucked, dominated basically by someone bigger than me. So I can't comprehend male female intimacy, it looks sadomasochistic to my brain. I can't comprehend why women do these sexual acts like from that twitter video and why is this human experience of love. I can't fucking understand it… I know it's stimulating for all women, but why this has to be our position in human intimacy and why is THIS human intimacy
Having a problem with intimacy/fear of intimacy is a serious disorder and a lot of autistics suffer from it.
Once I get called a handicapped autist on this website for saying that I wouldn't perform oral sex on men, and now I get called I don't even know what, I don't wanna read these responses again. So yeah I'm a handicapped autist with a fear of intimacy, this is not a post for normies stacies, or gaslighters, this is a post for humans with a brain who want to discuss the reality with me like we're both humans with a brain communicating honestly and straightforwardly.
Autistic people are not even allowed to talk about their problems with sex, while the rest of the world is allowed to roam free. I read about hetero women sex lives all the time, I know well how they look like, and it's horrific to me and worse than some porn or the same. I have a problem with sex. Because of AUTISM and it's a thread for neurodivergent women, I need to finally talk about to, cause I'm an ADULT atp. I'm not a teen or like only 20yo barely out of teenage hood, I have experience and maturity, I'm not an unaware virgin, but I never engaged in a sex activity with other person irl, which doesn't make me unable to know what sex is. I have been suffering in silence from this and holding it all in for YEARS, I can't find non normie autistic women to talk about it with, I won't talk about it with the antisex people, because these fuckers are delusional, I won't explain way, it's too much, but they are retarded and don't understand that sex is natural and not an evil brainwashing. I want someone to understand that is natural and how that makes me disordered, and why.(blackpill outside of containment)
No. 2350180
>>2350091Just stop thinking about it! You're not allowed to think about it!
Jee thanks, great advice! See you later when you talk about you and your Nigel sex life and everyone is okay with it.
>>2350153Sorry normie meanies are mad at my Innocent post
(infight bait) No. 2350185
>>2350180>>2350179>>2350091I know where you're coming from. Penetration by a bigger entity is just part of womanhood though, and a lot of the acts you describe are variations of that.
The other Anon is right though; no need to think too much about it. One out of two people are women; five out of ten people are women; fifty out of hundred people are women; leave the aspects of womanhood you dislike for other women to deal with.
No. 2350346
Okay nonnies, what parts about autism (yours or others) do you like? I'm with
>>2349646 about the unrestrained joy aspect. Been told that my happiness is infectious irl and I can't think of a higher compliment. I also like that my special interests can be a springboard into learning or practicing skills. Like I'm really into history, so making recipes associated with whichever time period I'm micro-sperging over lets me cook more and get better at it.
No. 2350772
>>2350346I like that my special interests are permanent! They just never stop bringing me joy, and it seems like that's not a thing normies just "get for free". This also motivates me to be creative, because if I can take any boring thing and just twist it to somehow involve my special interest I suddenly see value in it and find it more fun.
I have "monotone" body language (for a lack of a better term) and an unintentionally soft voice so people think I'm calm and soothing all the time, they tell me I'm really reassuring to have around because I never panic or lose my cool. I totally do panic though, they just can't tell kek
Unlike redtexted sperg anon above I like my natural disinterest in sexual things, because it allows me to focus on more fun and interesting things. It just seems so incredibly boring to focus on getting laid all the time and to be ruled by your own sexuality, I just can't relate. It's also nice to kind of be "immune" to sexual things, though I wouldn't identify as asexual or anything, I just have a very low end libido!
I'm about 50 times more resistant to loneliness because of my flavor of autism. I know "a lot of autists are very lonely" and all that, but I'm just not one of them. I could happily not see a single friend for several months. I'm happy when I see them! It's just not ever really a "need". I feel like I could live in a hut on the mountainside with a pack of goats, only coming down to the village once a month where they all know me as the kooky but beloved goat-lady.
Directed at other autists: I love that other autists are so interesting to talk to! I don't know a single autist who is boring, they all basically only talk to you when they have something interesting to say and I love that. I also love that despite the black-and-white-thinking stereotype at least the autists I know are some of the most flexible thinkers who are willing to explore any topic. There's no "that's not how you're supposed to do that" and instead they just fire "ok but why? and but what if this, or what if that?" and bring new perspectives to everything without judgment.
No. 2351757
>>2351750>What does "seeming awkward" mean?What do you mean, it's quite straight forward to seem awkward? Nervous, fiddly, unsociable, shy, no confidence, bad posture, weird, maybe making strange movements or facial expressions out of nowhere.
I think "Do Neurotypical People Like or Dislike Autistic People?" is kind of an unfair and odd question to ask people to begin with. There are too many questions, like what level of autist re they talking about? Is it a non-verbal with a full-time carer autist, a high-function nerdy sperg or in the middle of the two? Are they male or female? I'm willing to bet people rank female autists higher and less awkward than males simply because we're less of a threat.
Also I'm as ableist as those neurotypicals are. If I see an obviously mentally disabled person I might also find them awkward, I don't want to talk to them and I don't find them likable because you can't even hold an intelligent conversation with them. I personally have a really big ick for other people's saliva like drooling which is a common thing for mentally disabled people. If they're male they even scare me, because I don't know how socially aware they are so if they just see a "hot female" and act on instinct and sexually assault me I feel like people will just be like "he didn't know what he was doing!" and if I complain I'm the asshole.
No. 2351759
>>2351750You might get some better answers to your question by linking the study you're referencing:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36605364/(Also annoyed, because a few years ago the full study was available online for free, but I can't seem to find a publication that isn't truncated now.)
No. 2351963
>>2351785It's really not. Autistic moids get coddled by parents and authority figures way more than autistic girls and women, so it's actually easier for them. The only "autistic" moids who you should feel bad for are the increasingly rare undiagnosed BAPs who stay offline and keep to themselves. They're literally the only good autistic males.
>female NEETs and losers arent as badly stigmatized as male NEETs and losersKEK nonna, since when? All NEETs are stigmatized, at least the male ones have boymoms who are more willing to care for them until the day they die. Female NEETs don't get that.
No. 2351978
>>2351785Autistic women face sexual abuse at far higher rates than the general female population. female losers aren't widely stigmatized in popular culture because they're rarer or slightly better at integration due to female socialization, but plenty of these girls get bullied.
>female NEETs and losers arent as badly stigmatized as male NEETs and losersThe general public doesn't know the goings on of losers, but male losers again attack and bully female losers.
I do believe there are more male autists and more often severe autism in males because of the fragility of the Y-chromosome.
No. 2352844
File: 1737249865290.jpg (20.48 KB, 640x505, line-drawn-reaction-images-v0-…)
Does anyone else go insane anytime you get one of those coarse chin hairs? I worked a slow night shift job and when I didnt have my tweezers all I could do was pick and scratch at it obsessively like a scab.
I also struggle with more common things like nail biting, pen chewing, etc. Im going into a "no-nail-polish-allowed" field, so Ill have to find other ways to deal with my nail biting soon.
No. 2353851
>>2353809>You clearly don't understand how it feels to be autistic and psychologically burdened by your position in human sex as a woman. Men also don't have to read million times a day online about other men sucking women dicks neither they have to be good at sucking dick or have a nightmarish role in human sex and relations.nta and I'm quoting your whole post in case you delete again. I'll be trying my best to help here. You have mental issues, but it's not the autism (we all have that here). You're dealing with lots of internalized misogyny and you're partaking in self-harming behavior, specifically
>have to read million times a day online about other men sucking women dicks I'm gonna assume you meant men and women in reverse (otherwise you gotta be a gay guy distressed about tim troons). This is NOT a normal thing to come across, not even once a day. The conclusion is that you are actively seeking out places you know cause you great distress - also known as "doomscrolling". You're staying in distress about it because you keep visiting these site on the daily! Get a browser extension or app and block yourself from EVERY single site and app you come across these things, try it just for a month. Every time you get the urge to doomscroll, you have to actively stop yourself and choose to go and do something you enjoy like a hobby. I promise your mental health will improve by a ton.
You're likely traumatized to have gotten to this point. You really should talk to a sexual trauma resource for women. You don't seem to understand that women have sex because they're in love with their partner, they get great orgasms and enjoy the whole process. You deciding it's degrading is like saying eating food is degrading because "it goes inside you". Or like saying having a job is degrading because your boss "has power over you". Ot that massage is degrading because "they're touching you all over". It's just your perspective being messed up. If the roles were reversed and women had to go inside men, you would instead be saying "it's so degrading that they just use your penis as if it was a tool to please themselves. Men's vaginas get to 'consume' women's penises, that's so much more powerful and it's degrading to have your penis at the mercy of a man's teeth when he could bite it off any second he wants… so gross to have female genitals that just hang out in the open all the time because they're nothing but a sex toy for men, unlike a streamlined male vagina that's only active when they need it".
No. 2355538
>>2355427>eventually youll have to get yourself a manOr get a job on your own.
Or date a woman.
Or inherit a lot of money.
Or your living relatives actually don't mind you living off of them because you're free house labour.
Or live with female roommates where you all pay a tiny bit each.
Or live on disability support.
Nobody actually has to have sex, and blowjob-chan is in a manic period or some shit so don't respond to her delusions.
No. 2359909
File: 1737563853398.jpg (26.08 KB, 736x741, Tumblr_l_11642442530260.jpg)
I really am stuck like this and nobody will accept me
No. 2360477
>>2360104>you’re a fucking liar or have only said “Hi” to them or they’re not really autistic.Nice attempt at coping, but I was in a retard class with autistic males for years and I've been in autistic groups as an adult as well. They were autistic as fuck.
>you’re likely me of those freaks who are only saying it because you think you identify more with males than other women. Kek you're REALLY telling on yourself with that projection and the blatant baiting at infighting. That "me" sure was a freudian slip to make.
No. 2360565
>>2360104>or they’re not really autisticThis was you earlier in
>>2359901>I’m going to get a psych evaluation again and hopefully get psychological help>it seems strange calling myself “autistic”, it just doesn’t feel right I don’t know. I don’t feel or appear autisticSeems like YOU're the one who is not autistic so why are you suddenly gatekeeping and malding. I hope you get the psychological help you clearly need.
No. 2361709
>>2361578Not an attack on you anon, but this is such pointless research. Literally just remove the word "autistic" and it's still all true
>females tend to experience depression more frequently than malesThat's literally it, autistic females act like females and internalize, and autistic males act like males and act out. Wow what a big shocker! I feel like so much "research" like that (not just for autism) is essentially just clickbait to tell us what we already know. And then this one goes on like
>potentially due to differences in social masking behaviorsIt's literally a consistent pattern across normie women and men too (and other disorders), autists are literally just people acting like people and there is no reason to assume it has to do with masking at all. It's like they pretend we're not even human so they don't even bother looking at how normal humans act to see that it is in fact literally the same.
No. 2361994
>>2361709>It's like they pretend we're not even humanI notice this a lot with autism fakers. It's like they think autism makes you a NLOH (not like other humans). I noticed that a lot of fakers use autism as a crutch to excuse their poor life choices and anti-social behaviours and to avoid criticism for their bad actions.
I never understood why some people act like autists are aliens or a different species all together. Sure, we have autism so we're different, but it's not that big of a difference.
No. 2362085
File: 1737661576831.jpg (126.35 KB, 1200x1800, Mediterranean-Chopped-Salad-12…)
Autists are known to have unusual food habits, anyone here think they qualify? What's everyone's favorite food?
I keep hearing the stereotype that autists only eat unhealthy foods like chicken nuggets or burgers but my go to food is actually a mixed veggie salad. I even dislike the taste of a lot of processed food like chicken nuggets, they have a certain quality I can't name but they've make me gag.
No. 2362254
File: 1737669095651.png (918.77 KB, 943x533, paris_toast.png)
>>2362085Yeah, I never got the whole "safe foods are nuggies, fried crispies, dessert drinks and sugar bombs" stereotype. I know a lot of the more noticeably annoying autists were coddled by parents, but it still seems wildly impractical, especially if from fast food joints. I guess we're as fallible to processed food addiction as anyone else.
My favorite foods are the ones that I cook when it's just for me: perfect texture, nice taste, simple to cook. Current favorite is crostini with soft cheese and sliced vegetables. I also like French bread pizza, roasted stuffed mushrooms, or wild rice soup. For lunch every day, I scramble eggs with whatever vegetables and hot sauce I have. I would eat that salad because it looks so deliciously crunchy.
I guess my autism is more relegated to social misunderstandings like bringing the last slice of turkey in its original deli bag instead of putting it in a ziploc to take it to work (which apparently normies can't conceive of).
No. 2362366
>>2362085I think I have unusual food habits, not not in a typical way. I'm a pretty adventurous eater, I'll try anything once. I like a wide assortment of foods too, and trying new recipes out is a lot of fun. I usually cook everyday, I only go out to eat once a week.
One of my unusual habits is that I never get "tired" of food. I eat the same thing over and over again. I've been eating the same breakfast now for almost 4 years, with tiny variations here and there. I do one type on even days, and another type on odd days. Besides breakfasts, I usually have a routine for my meals, so every Monday I'll have the same lunch as last Monday, then every Tuesday I'll have the same lunch as last Tuesday, and so on. I'll usually switch my daily meals every month or two. I always reserve Saturdays for trying new recipes, so my meals on Saturdays are always different. I do it because I like to keep track of my daily nutrients and caloric intake because I'm kind of a fitness geek. I also like to do it because I can keep track of my grocery bill more easily.
Even though I'm an adventurous eater, I know what I dislike and I avoid what I dislike. I really hate certain foods. I just don't like them, and I don't eat them at all. Like no matter how many times I've tried onion, I've always hated onion. So, I don't eat onions now. Sometimes people can be weirded out and call me a picky eater, but I don't let it get to me because I know that I've probably tried more types of food than they have anyway. Other foods I don't care for, so I never make it myself, but I won't totally avoid them. Like when I go out and I order a salad, I know that it'll be made with lettuce, even though when I'm at home I always use spinach to make my salads because I don't really care for lettuce.
Another unusual habit for food is that I rarely ever eat other peoples' cooking. It's something to do with the control aspect. I don't like knowing that other people could be tampering with food, or preparing it in a dirty environment. But, that might have to do with personal history rather than autism.
>What are your favourite foods?I really like stir fries. I usually make mine with broccoli, bean sprouts, baby spinach, chicken breast, and shrimp. Anything spicy piques my interest.
>>2362254>I never got the whole "safe foods are nuggies, fried crispies, dessert drinks and sugar bombs" stereotype.I think it's more applicable to children, and by extension: the adult autists that refuse to grow up. When I was a kid, I used to really prefer bland inoffensive foods because my family was very very bad at cooking. Even to this day I hate my family's cooking. Once I was a teenager and I started cooking for myself, my palette really expanded because I realized that certain foods only taste bad when they're prepared by bad cooks. I used to hate eggs when I was a kid because my parents would never cook them to completion, so until I started cooking myself I didn't realize that eggs weren't supposed to be
that way and that they actually taste good when prepared the proper way. I think a lot of problems that autistic kids have are because they're still kids so they don't have the level of control that they want over their lives. At least for me, it felt like once I was an adult I suddenly became a lot less anxious and stressed because I could finally be who I was and do what I wanted to do, and that gave me this sense of security that let me branch out and develop my tastes.
No. 2362653
>>2362366Oh wow we are so similar! Apart from the fact that I'm not a great cook. I love trying new foods, but still get called a picky eater because I don't want to eat things I KNOW I dislike. People insist I "try it" but I did and I didn't like it! "But it's so good, try it again" is all they come back with every time.
One weird thing I do is that I often avoid ordering what are my favorite foods on paper when eating out, because I know they won't be prepared in the exact way I like it. I love those dishes too much, so eating a "bad" version of it is really disappointing.
>When I was a kid, I used to really prefer bland inoffensive foods because my family was very very bad at cooking. Even to this day I hate my family's cooking.This is a good point! And a lot of parents are just selfish in the sense that they insist their taste is the correct taste. So when the kid doesn't like something they get the treatment I sill get today "just try it again, something is wrong with YOU because this food is delicious". So they end up with food shame and anxiety and stick to safe foods.
No. 2362738
File: 1737688578396.jpg (9.22 KB, 236x237, 1000018436.jpg)
I'm going to have to take an interview at the place I'm requesting my work placement and I'm fucking terrified. It's my first job so I don't have any other references to put on my resume AND I'm someone's who's clocked as mentally deficient at first glance…. nonnas. I don't even have my license.
No. 2362799
>>2362085Fellow vegetable lover here. Im Indian (so I guess I fit the vegan stereotype) but I dislike all the meat-based food here. However I do like American fast food.
On an unrelated note why do Americans call their food "fast food"?
No. 2363304
>>2362799Not all American food is fast food (though you wouldn't know by looking at us kek). The "fast" refers to the time spent waiting for it to be made. If you walk into McDonald's and order pretty much anything, it'll be hot, ready, and in your hands in less than 10 minutes, as opposed to a restaurant with appetizers and table service that takes 45 minutes to overcook a burger.
>>2362085My favorite/everyday food is Velveeta Shells & Cheese, but
fuck, nona, I
wish it was a mixed veggie salad… How do you get past the disgusting crunchy sensation of plant fibers between your teeth?
No. 2363527
>>2363278>Genuine question, how do autists not get sick or tired of eating the same thing over and over again?I feel like normies ask this while many also eat the same thing every day without even thinking about it. For example, do you get tired of drinking coffee every day? Do you get tired of eating bread every day? Drinking the same coke or energy drink? Do asians tire of eating rice with every meal?
Most normie people I know have a set breakfast routine, they eat the same bagel, eggs or cereals every morning, and they have their morning coffee. Taste buds don't get "tired" or get muted from meal to meal, I mean do you suddenly not taste anything at dinner because you had lunch and overworked your taste buds? No, because that's not a thing! Your body only grows tired of eating something while you're actively eating it, because you've filled up your body with those nutrients and carbs and no longer feel hunger for it.
I feel like people who ask this think of the stereotypical "chicken nuggets only" people who have some ARFID eating disorders, and not people like
>>2362085 >>2362254 who eat a healthy varied meal as their go-to. The autist meal in itself can be varied and provide a mix of texture, tastes and nutrition that you don't get bored of.
No. 2365281
>>2364065Anons have brought it up in the past several times, it seems to be a pretty common need/want at this point. I think the people who are against splitting the diagnosis are fakers who would no longer qualify for "autism" (which they've made their whole personality and brand). Sometimes I consider being the sperg who actually makes up new diagnosis names and splits off different kinds of autism into sections and then just unapologetically uses it on social media until it catches on kek
But the only reason it would catch on is because initially the fakers would cause an uproar about me being an evil ableist gatekeeper, until real autists find it and go "actually this is just what we need I'll use these labels too" and I don't have the energy to endure that initial hate period.
Because the thing is
>it’s hard for me to reconcile that I have the same condition as people who are completely nonverbal and can’t be left alone speaking for both of us, but we DON'T have this condition. We literally just… do not have this, these are not our struggles or experiences. It's fucked up that both we - and the non-verbal can't be left aloners - don't get to have a word that describes our unique struggles. THAT is ableism.
No. 2366766
File: 1737880209328.jpg (35.71 KB, 630x420, thomas.jpg)
I have always been extremely grateful for getting hyperfixations on weird but harmless stuff like birds and marginal historical figures or useful stuff like my career, and not for childish things like sonic and anime, or fucking trains. My god, I don't want train autism, I'm so glad I don't have train autism, as a child I always even hated that stupid Thomas the tank engine, and I was so glad I didn't have the stereotypical autistic train fixation that would make my autism obvious to everyone. Until just recently when I was walking next to the train tracks, there was this old museum train, like a steam locomotive, going there along where they usually just have modern passenger trains, and I just had to stop and stare that beautiful thing in awe. WHY? FUCK I don't want this to happen, this fucking sucks.
No. 2366935
File: 1737894955088.png (42.87 KB, 798x135, 2013.png)
>>2366492Aspergers hasn't been used as a diagnosis in many countries since the DSM was updated in 2013.
No. 2366980
>>2366492We HAD the asperger diagnosis… and every day I miss it. I still tell people I have aspergers and not autism, it's literally what is written on my diagnosis papers anyway.
My guilty pleasure is showing no mercy to normies who go "um actually aspergers bad because it's named after a nazi". First I make it clear I give zero shits about who it's named after, because thinking that reflects badly on me as a person is unfair and retarded. Then I ask if they tell people with other disabilities the same thing, if they tell someone with Down's they can't call it that anymore because Down was a racist piece of shit. Then I ask them if they know who coined the term "autism" and how they're sure that guy wasn't also a nazi, racist, sexist or generally also a piece of shit. I bet they never even thought about it before - because it doesn't fucking matter and is just a word. Then I ask them to think about the fact that pretty much every single man (and woman) from history ever, including in the last 100 years, was most likely very racist and sexist as that was the norm at the time. If you want to go even further every word we speak was made up by racists, sexist, homophobes - because again, that was the norm back when words were created. So if we're gonna rename things based on "person who made it up was bad by modern standards" we have to rename ALL the things ever named. Lastly I call them ableist for trying to police a disabled person how they speak about their own disability. Boom. Leave them feeling like shit. It's great fun.
No. 2367224
>>2366980Wait. So the reason aspergers is lumped with non-verbal, low-functioning autism is because it shares a name with some guy nobody knows about but who had wack beliefs?
Dang
No. 2367695
File: 1737941853005.png (246.1 KB, 1080x1080, IMG_9780.png)
>>2367224Basically yeah. Most psychs now seem to go by the model in picrel that grades based on support needs, with what they used to call Asperger’s as level 1
No. 2368161
>>2367583So funny because actual autists mostly don't mind and professionals recognize Asperger's contribution to research…
>social media "autists" (I still think most were fakers even back then) were high on social justice I believe it started out as a genuine but misguided take in the then new "neurodivergent" movement before turning into a neat excuse to focus on visible manifestations of autism. This proved useful for fakers because they don't have to bother with subtle signs and boring aspergers' problems. They can instead "stim" and complain of sensory overload, both pretty manifest and visual things, like in the old Victorian swooning days
No. 2368306
>>2368161This switch happened around 2010, even the popular series Glee had a "self-diagnosed with aspergers girl who really just wanted to be rude and quirky" character debut in 2011. Iirc her name was Sugar and she was basically a parody of those people, so fakers must have been around for a while already then to even become a stereotype big enough to put in a popular series.
I think there was a small minority of people with autism who essentially got bullied/groomed into it, the same way they now all think they're trans, but this faker-led movement has had a great impact and control for 1-2 decades now. Compare it to the famous asperger-'tist Greta Thunberg, she was only 8 when she was shown a movie about climate change in school, which led her to get depressed for years while she obsessed over climate issues. If she had never been shown a documentary above her 8 year old brain's level, scaring her for life with things she didn't fully grasp, she never would have become a climate activist at age 15. I think it's the same way with the genuine autists, they were naive kids in their early teens (usually girls) and they went online seeking connections and just got told "if you call it aspergers you're literally an evil NAZI" they get horrified at the aspect of being seen as a nazi and quickly adapt and reject the label. They didn't have the social capacity to think "that's clearly bullshit you've made up to control people" which neurotypical normie kids may have had, both due to autism and their young age.
No. 2369556
File: 1738075253590.png (988.08 KB, 1200x600, bolivia.png)
>>2366766Join us
>>2366800It's not about trains as a place, but trains as a "thing", they're just very aesthetically pleasing. And if the train isn't crowded the sound of the wheels on the rail is very nice white noise.
I think the real weirdos are the moid airplane autists. No. 2369630
>>2366798kek if I so must. I already found a historical person who was killed in a train-related incident and I might read everything available on that.
>>2366800>>2369556I agree that for train autists it's not about the travel experience usually (although can you separate it completely? maybe. but it would be strange to imagine an elevator autist who didn't want to ride elevators.) For me personally though, train travel is preferrable to cars or buses, because I get horrible motion sickness in them.
>>2369611No, the thing is I am legitimately autistic with a childhood diagnosis predating the trend, and I feel completely alienated from the current portrayal of autism on social media. I want to keep this to myself and don't want to appear like the most stereotypical autist to other people.
No. 2369783
>>2369711I don't think turning self-diagnosers into actual ableist people is helpful though. I personally don't see anything wrong with Elon's body language, it's not even that bad and very mild compared to my irl autist friends. Though I don't care if they make fun of Elon specifically, it's just the absolute hypocrisy of it. The whole "rules for thee but not for me" shit.
>>2369712>Does anyone else have issues with never missing people or places? Like nothing bad happened and you even look back on them fondly if prompted but otherwise it’s like out of sight out of mind in the most literal sense.Omg yes, literally exactly how you put it is how I feel. I'm happy meeting loved friends and family like 1-2 times a year at most. I don't "miss" them even though I enjoy hanging out with them and wouldn't mind hanging out again. To me not seeing someone for months feels like a normal period to be apart, it's my equivalent of a week. I think the fact that all my hobbies are solo activities contribute to it, I'm never bored when I'm alone and I don't depend on other people to have a fun time.
No. 2370495
>>2369969Ikr, sometimes I wonder if those are symptoms of autism… or symptoms of people who fake/think they have autism but don't. Would be fun to make a list like that kek
"If you
>think "aspergers" is a bad label>are very creative and have a lot of empathy>love to try new fun stims >have a lot of social anxiety but you're fine with people you're comfortable around>have minor sensory issues like not liking scratchy fabrics on your skin>are very invested in the rights of minority groups and social justice and avoid controversial opinions>sometimes pretend not to get sarcasm because you've been told that's what autists are like and you feel a little bit guilty that it's not actually an issue for you and you actually love using sarcasm>wear your socks inside outthen you likely do not have autism at all but wrongly think you do!"
No. 2370796
>>2370495I'm all of that except I don't think Aspergers is a bad label.
Honestly I'm becoming more open to accepting that I'm just a spicy normie after volunteering to work with Level 2 and Level 3 autistic people
No. 2370872
>>2370796>I'm all of that except I don't think Aspergers is a bad label.ayrt I took inspiration from actual autism fakers I've followed online for the points, but it's things THEY share as if it's genuine autism traits or quirks. The person I had in mind is a person who has bought into all those things and genuinely thinks they're autistic when they're not, because they're empathetic, creative and appreciate "being different". They have moments of clarity, such as realizing they're consciously pretending to not get sarcasm, but they try to justify it to themselves internally by going "oh it's a spectrum so I don't need to have every trait…" but they're still afraid to admit that in the open. In reality they have none of the key traits, and only have the minor quirks (wear your socks inside out, try new stims, minor sensory issue that 99% of normies also have).
>Honestly I'm becoming more open to accepting that I'm just a spicy normie after volunteering to work with Level 2 and Level 3 autistic peopleAs other anons have discussed though, they miss the "aspergers" label because they feel so detached to the more severe autism levels, we can't relate to them either. But I'm all for examining and criticizing your own diagnosis! A personal peeve of mine is just how often people are willing to buy "people get misdiagnosed with BPD/DSD/other disorders all the time!" and in the next breath they go "it was really just autism this whole time!". They're so willing to accept misdiagnosis is easy and common, but for some reason they refuse to accept that could also mean autism is also easy to misdiagnose. I think one of the best things that could happen for everyone involved is if more people were willing to entertain the thought and accept they're probably not autistic and that's ok, because it is just a label and changes nothing about them as a person.
No. 2372901
>>2372823I had this issue for YEARS as a teen. Here's what helped me:
>I learned to take naps during the day, in broad day lightIt made me a lot less sensitive about "optimal" sleeping conditions. Before I was one of those who had to have a dark and quiet room to give me the best possible chance to fall asleep. No I can sleep in any light condition. And if I didn't get enough sleep at night I get some back during the day from the nap itself.
>I learned to do the opposite of what I was told and use screens before bedMy theory is that there are 2 types of people. Some relax by turning off the brain and doing nothing, it calms their brains. And then people (like me) find relaxation in
activating the brain. For me doing nothing is stressful and boring, so it doesn't relax me at all. Doing something repetitive and mildly engaging is what relaxes me! Think of it how like a child only falls asleep while the parent is reading them a bedtime story.
So my solution has been to play games on my phone or nintendo handheld platforms. If the game is TOO fun or complicated it doesn't work, it has to be familiar and have some level of easy repetition. Basically a chill RPG or farming game, turned based, or puzzle games without a timer that you can mindlessly play at a slow pace.
Putting on a repeat of your favorite movie or audio book could possibly also have the same effect. I just for some reason ended up responding the best to games.
Something like watching tiktok does NOT work as it forces me to swipe every few seconds and every new video is just too new and "interesting" for my brain so I can't relax. I kind of theorize seeing real human faces is also less relaxing as it activates social parts of your brain.
>Accepting that if I'm not tired I won't be able to sleepWasting hours in bed trying and failing to sleep when I've got a lot of energy is just torture. I might as well just turn on my laptop and do something fun then! Sometimes grabbing a snack and watching some videos makes me ready to try to sleep again.
No. 2373174
File: 1738267344830.jpg (63.18 KB, 450x642, Sally-Anne_test.jpg)
Is it possible to pass picrel but still have trouble with more complex real life situations (where theory of mind is needed)? I can understand how it's possible a lot of the time but it doesn't occur to me. I don't see the contradiction but believe it makes sense. Am I making sense?
No. 2373235
File: 1738268407630.webp (37.38 KB, 600x600, pp,504x498-pad,600x600,f8f8f8.…)
>>2373174Like
>>2373197 said this is for kids (or I guess severely impaired people too maybe). So yeah if you're an average high functioning autist you should be able to pass picrel easily while failing at real life adult scenarios.
Having said that, I "failed" the test of this picture as an adult kek. If you're not familiar with it, the test is just to describe the picture - I naturally described it the autist way.
No. 2373422
So I failed this
>>2373174 but from
>>2373298 says I described the picture here
>>2373235 in a pretty normal way hm. Feel like a retard kek
No. 2373423
>>2373244>>2373269Me as an autist described it something like:
>"A woman is washing dishes. There's an overflowing sink. A kid is standing on a stool that is falling over, he is reaching for a cookie jar, and a girl is there too."I described what I saw quite literally. The normie way is to say something like
>"The two kids, a brother and sister, are stealing cookies behind their mothers back while she's distracted by an overflowing sink. Maybe they're the ones who started it to distract her so they could steal them."They describe what happens "socially". That they're siblings and a mother, that they're not just taking, but
stealing the cookies behind her distracted back etc.
No. 2373465
File: 1738277878987.jpg (117.81 KB, 1656x1242, HxE-DzVf7k2yGXmMgvPrd3POhe-Lp7…)
>>2373235The mother has had it up to here
No. 2374346
>>2370495Does anyone relate to using sarcasm a lot but failing because people
never get it? I assumed it was a 'women can't joke' thing because it happens a lot to women in male-only groups, but it happens even with people who know me well. The only exceptions are my siblings and one sperg friend who somehow always gets it when he doesn't understand sarcasm otherwise (a friend we have in common told him this, he hadn't noticed). Weird
>>2373468Yeah. I don't know if it's a filter or more like, an ability to readily use categories to make sense of the world. It's like how typical children call most animals 'dog' because to them, every small animal is a dog, but autistic children are more likely to only use 'dog' for dogs and can't spontaneously generalize. I think spergs grasp this eventually but it takes conscious efforts to bridge the gap
No. 2374603
>>2374346I genuinely don't think I sound monotone, even when I've recorded myself speaking just to hear it out loud I think I get the timing and pitch right. Yet people very commonly still don't get when I'm joking or being sarcastic and think I'm being serious. It feels like it's the opposite and normies are the ones who don't understand sarcasm!
I've always wondered why this happened but the best theory I can come up with is that they've simply casted me in the role of a serious person. I'm generally honest and I'm shy around new people so in their eyes they've decided that's how I am permanently. So when I then suddenly crack a joke they don't spot it because it's not on their radar that I'm someone who makes jokes.
No. 2374649
>>2374608that's really interesting to me. i feel like almost the opposite. i was a bookworm too but i absoutely hated summarizing books and book reports because i felt like i'm just dully repeating the plot and i don't really understand what's expected of me. i feel like i could easily have a passionate and engaging conversation with someone right now about the plots of my favorite books but when it comes to writing down and summarizing something, even stuff i've loved enough to read more than once, feels like such a drag. i just don't really know what to do/what would be expected and my head goes blank. i would get really bored. i like talking about it but writing it feels difficult. but i'm the opposite when it comes to writing out my own experiences, i could write in extreme detail over every little thing. i used to carry a journal with me and just write whatever mundane shit that was happening at any given time. almost like a little autistic log of "I talked to this person today." or what i was feeling at the time.
>>2374434>I remember feeling a retard at school because for example I wasn't able to write a summary of a story, my brain just wasn't able to choose which are the most important parts of the story. I also struggled with describing characters and their emotions and motivations, like it was all blank to meit felt the same for me. i felt retarded because it really did feel all blank. like i didn't know what was expected, it felt completely pointless. so as long as someone read the book, isn't all of their reports going to sound so dull and boring that the teacher isn't even reading these, she's just checking if we read it? what exactly is expected? what's the damn point. book reports were so annoying
No. 2375030
>>2374649>so as long as someone read the book, isn't all of their reports going to sound so dull and boring that the teacher isn't even reading these, she's just checking if we read it?The point isn't just to make sure you read the book, but to see if you are able to summarize the important points and think critically about the contents. It's a skill you have to learn and be forced to think about. Of course shitty teaches may not communicate that clearly, and imo some teachers are so unfit for their job that they don't know that's the point either.
I've heard modern day teachers are struggling because students will just copy texts and feed it to AI and ask it to summarize for them. They students think "this way I only get the important parts anyway" completely missing that knowing HOW to actually figure out what is important is the skill they need to learn and practice (and that's ignoring that AI might actually be very wrong about what is and isn't actually important). It's really like bringing a pre-made meal to chef school and not getting why your pre-made microwave lasagna failed the lasagna making test, when the end result was still a lasagna. "You don't even know how to make a lasagna!" is just met with "What do you mean, I put it in the microwave, so I have clearly made this lasagna!"
No. 2375676
>>2375524>naturally expectedLike you said, depending on language and culture, in some never. Sarcasm is not "natural".
But kids learn to lie at age 2-4, before that they're not capable of understanding others don't know what they're thinking. So it's absolutely normal for a 4 year old to not have the mental capacity to even be able to lie yet, how the hell would they get sarcasm?
No. 2376287
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>>2375979>>2375987Generally autist males have lower levels of testosterone and tend to be more gender non-conforming which for males means "they seem kinda feminine and gay". I've never seen the tard rage in a high functioning autist, though I've noticed if the person has ADHD too (or just ADHD) they may have rage issues, so in my mind it's not liked to autism but to ADHD.
But then again some people just have rage issues as their normie default settings, so in theory anyone should be able to inherit those genes regardless.
What does the rage feel like and what do you do when it happens? I'm the opposite and can't get angry so I really have no idea what it's like.
>>2376144I've got the expressionless face, but I've definitely seen it in other autists. It's the stare usually, they'll make an "angry" face staring even when neutral that reads as a mix of "mentally challenged" and "aggressive" I think. I think the actress who played Temple in the movie nailed the autistic expressions.
No. 2376353
>>2376287Right now I often just get madder than the average person when it comes to issues I'm passionate in. I've kind of embraced it though I do try and tone it down and remind myself I'm going to look incredibly crazy to people since I also hate attention.
Interesting point about the testosterone though. My father is very gender conforming though, physically
abusive head of the house type and was the "work hard be strong" type before he met my mom as well so I'm not sure.
No. 2377149
>>2377132I’m not autistic but have ADHD. I do most of the things you describe including
>toe walking even as an adult >loud or repetitive noises but noise in general is a big no for me. Strong aversion to specific textures>I won’t eat anything unless it‘s whatever I am currently cravingI’ve been evaluated for autism. I don’t have autism, just autistic traits. You may not be autistic but from what you described you’re definitely not neurotypical.
No. 2377184
>>2377149Good thing I'm getting checked soon, doctors and close relatives aren't even questioning the possibility I might be ND at this point, but they don't know exactly
what could've caused all of this neither. Being so easily overstimulated and food repulsed as an adult is very stressful, I mostly just want my body and mind to stop being so
trigger happy
No. 2378928
>>2376353>My father is very gender conforming though, physically abusive head of the house type It's possible he's just an
abusive typical rage moid who found an easy to control woman then, and autistic women tend to be
victims of that because they can't tell when a man is bad as easily. Not saying your mom has full blown autism either, but sometimes I see people blame the autism on the dad when in reality their mom has the obvious people-pleaser insecure/oblivious autist genes of the two and the dad is literally just an average raging man.
No. 2379421
>>2379419That's a bit of an overreaction. Plus that person was a healthy baby, like I said she only became disabled later in life.
I believe there are people who love being eternal care takers, a child that "never grows up" is ideal for them. Often the same kind of people who love working at a farm and caring for animals all day long. It's just not the average person and I do not personally want a disabled child but I'd much rather have one and be free than go to prison for life.
No. 2379439
>>2379426>but the other side of the spectrum comes the socially retarded "muh society" incel roidpig types too and he's under that umbrellaThat only ever seem to happen to THE most high functioning end, so I can't help but speculate that it's something else that just looks similar to autism at a glance because it's "anti-social" in nature. Maybe that's me trying to cope or something, but it just seems odd and like there is a piece we're missing… But I guess it could just also be untreated trauma or something. Sorry, I don't mean to make judgement on your dad specifically!
>Plenty of autistic moids become hyperfeminine femboy troons That's not true though. The femboys are just gay normie guys in 99% of cases. While the autist men who troon out often have a naturally "flamboyant" or "not macho", quality to them that makes them feel alienated from other men they never actually go the feminine route. They're the ones who grow stringy greasy hair and put on a purple hoodie and genuinely think that means they now pass as a woman. They don't actually have any interest in feminine things like the gay guys.
No. 2379459
>>2379419You sound like a psychopath, right up there with incels and nazis
I agree we should be able to abort the child if we want to and it's important to be realistic about what quality of life a child will have but you sound downright gleeful about it
No. 2379461
>>2378928>their mom has the obvious people-pleaser insecure/oblivious autist genes>genes>autism>goes on to describe female socializationI actually get what you mean because autists can and do often come across as nervous and fearful, but wording it like this is why we have a malingerer problem
>>2376287>Generally autist males have lower levels of testosterone and tend to be more gender non-conformingAnd autistic women are high T? Looks like sperg men fail at key areas of masculinity so they come across as soft, but a lot of it is still absorbed. If autistic girls mask more then autistic boys are also sensitive to male socialization, albeit in less visible ways.
>>2379426>Plenty of autistic moids become hyperfeminine femboy troons but the other side of the spectrum comes the socially retarded "muh society" incel roidpig types Two sides of the same coin. The femboy autistic troon is almost always an incel roidpig. "Diagnosed sperg ex-4tran nazi in a skirt who goes around raping women" is an alt guy archetype
No. 2379477
>>2376287ayrt, to me the tard rage feels like a type of strong burning anger that gets worse and worse until the issue is solved or I am able to exit the situation (which I've learned to do). I don't think the feeling is anything special, it's the outward reaction that counts. I mainly screech and break things or hurt myself. I've been able to get it under control somewhat, but I still come across as a comically seething Donald Duck type, even if I don't do anything destructive. As a kid I used to have bruises all over my body from hitting myself.
As an adult, I've never actually broken anything valuable, but once I smashed my laptop so hard it tilted, and afterwards I was so ashamed of myself.My dad is indeed kind of a meek person, not necessarily feminine, but not very masculine either. He seems to be immune to a lot of socialization and thinks of a lot of socially enforced norms such as religion to be "stupid." He's definitely a sperg though. When I was diagnosed the doctor said he fits the criteria, but she said it's no use diagnosing an adult man who will not benefit from therapy anymore, kek.
No. 2379506
>>2379417I understand why disabled people make this argument. Very few people go into making children with a clear view, almost all of them go into it thinking that their child is going to be perfect, or at least not face any significant challenges due to disability. They don't plan for it and are blindsided when they do have disabled children. Most of them fail to adequately support their children and many admit quietly that they never would have had their child if they had known ahead of time.
But I also think advocates go about it the wrong way when they try to restrict or shame induced abortion. If anything, I want mothers to abort a disabled baby if she doesn't think she and/or her partner will be able to adequately care for them. But I also think that should signal to those parents that maybe they shouldn't have any children because, like that woman said, most disabilities are acquired after birth. If you know that you can't handle a disabled child, you really shouldn't take the risk at all. It's okay not to have kids.
No. 2379633
>>2379439>That's not true though. The femboys are just gay normie guys in 99% of cases>No interest in feminine thingsYou make
valid points on everything else but
nonny you have NOT seen enough of the femboy population. Plenty of them are straight up retards with special interests in female things. As stereotypical as this is, go on discord and you'll see lol. So, oh yes they do kek
No. 2379953
>>2379633>you have NOT seen enough of the femboy population.True, and I indeed to keep it that way kek
But to clarify I took the post as meaning the actual trooned out feminine larpers, the HSTS if you will, as femboys are technically not even troons so I assumed that's closer to what anon meant.
No. 2379973
>>2379461>but wording it like this is why we have a malingerer problemI fully believe EVERY autism trait can be held by normies, and if you have high enough combo of them at the same time you qualify for autism. Sure it's anecdotal but every autist I know have at least one normie parent who has VERY clear signs of autism while still being fully functional. They wouldn't ever get a diagnosis and they don't need it, but the same trait is there.
But yes I meant to say that autistic women ALSO have female socialization PLUS their autism and that makes them extra vulnerable to be taken advantage of by roid males.
No. 2379993
>>2379506>But I also think that should signal to those parents that maybe they shouldn't have any children because, like that woman said, most disabilities are acquired after birth. If you know that you can't handle a disabled child, you really shouldn't take the risk at all. It's okay not to have kids.To play devils advocate here, it just kind of isn't the same. When you sign up to have a child you sign up to raise it into an adult person, not for it to have the mentality of a 2 year old for the rest of its and your life.
And the "becomes disabled later" argument imo is misleading because someone losing a leg, going blind as an elderly adult, or being born with something like dwarfism is just not at all the same as a baby who will never be able to be independent, be able to speak or wipe their own ass and needs 24/7 caretaking. They're completely different conversations imo. I believe most people who don't want a kid with downs or autism would still be 100% fine with an otherwise healthy kid who was born with just one foot.
No. 2380212
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I really want to make friends (or just socialize in general) in discord but it is near impossible without finding "neurospicy" people. everytime I join some discord for some fandom, the most active users are the most insufferable "autists" (read: they/them women who hate themselves and pretend to be autistic by performing the most stereotypical autistic behavior they can) who take absolutely people say in the most literal way and create incessant drama because someone didn't use tone indicator, someone said something bad or did wrongthinking. also everytime someone says something remotely quirky or actually disordered they act like pic related and actually forget they're supposed to be mentally ill. I am friends with actual diagnosed ADHD/autistic people and they don't act so hurt at everything at all times. people who fake this shit have to be the most insufferable human beings I've encountered.
No. 2380343
>>2374434>my brain just wasn't able to choose which are the most important partsThis was such a big problem for me in school, not because I had trouble with book reports specifically but because our teachers would throw massive amounts of homework at us and we were just expected to figure out which exercises were the most important and focus on those while skipping/half-assing the rest. I wasn’t able to figure out which exercises were the important ones (or even that these stupid mental gymnastics were expected of us in the first place) so I would stay up past midnight whole-assing all of my homework every day. When my homeroom teacher realised this was the reason I was so exhausted all the time he was baffled that I was actually doing all the homework that was assigned to me. Why assign us homework you don’t expect us to do?
If there’s anything I hate about non-autistic people it’s how often they’ll give you instructions that they don’t expect you to follow and then act like you’re the weird one for doing what they told you to do. “You’re supposed to read between the lines” or “you should’ve realised the instructions were incorrect and I meant something else”. How about you actually say what you mean you stupid fuck
>>2374603It’s exactly the same with me. I can make the most obvious joke in the world and people will think I’m 100% serious because they don’t expect me to make jokes at all. A lot of the time they never catch on, either. Only people with the same dry sense of humour as me (who usually tend to have autistic traits too) seem to realise I’m joking. The rest probably just thinks I’m crazy.
No. 2380711
>>2380212I usually never tell people online I'm an autist unless we get really close and I then tell them to keep it a secret, so I'm in a few groups where people think I'm a normie. It's so weird watching "disordered" people larp and I'm just over here chilling being normal kek
That is, until I get
triggered and something autistic actually goes down. We had a user acting weird and they rubbed me the wrong way so I turned into the biggest snooper, I dug up over 20 old social media accounts of theirs, none of them even had that person's name in them and I was still able to verify it was the same person using the tiniest crumbs they had left. I spent hours and hours of intense research to prove everything bad they had ever said or done online. I got so unhinged in my searching kek. Then I anonymously exposed it to the owner of the group, who got that person banned. Those fools could never measure up to my level of autism. Somewhere I still have a massive document with everything I found on that person.
No. 2381359
>>2380960But you survived it nona! And bursting into tears is a way better reaction than a full blown panic attack, so you gotta cut yourself some slack. We all have off days! I'm really impressed you have such a good attitude and want to get over your sensory issues, I really think that's admirable and a lot of people would do better in the world if they were willing to work on their issues like that. Don't let this one thing stop you!
>>2381286>What are your thoughts on the credibility of ARFID and autism correlation?Eating habits was discussed a bit earlier see
>>2362085 for example. Overall I think autists are often particular about what we eat, but it's generally nowhere near as bad as "only eating chicken nuggets" and isn't actually disordered behavior. It would be like saying a vegan has arfid for refusing to eat most foods and being super strict about what they eat, in reality they're really lax about what they eat as long as it's not got any animal product in it.
I once saw parents say their autistic son was a picky eater because he refused to eat a meal without the typical gravy and they didn't get why when he usually liked the meal, it just didn't have the gravy this time. They didn't get it until they were asked if they'd like a cheese sandwich - but without the cheese. "So it's just bread? It's not really a cheese sandwich then" Exactly! Imo if you have a kid who doesn't shove food down their throat you should be grateful because the world is dealing with an obesity epidemic.
No. 2381605
>>2381286The adults I know with genuine ASD who are picky eaters usually have only one or two food types they can’t deal with and tend to be a bit embarrassed about it, so they try not to bother anyone with it or bring it up unnecessarily. I became a pescatarian in large part because I hate the texture of 90% of meat products and it’s easier to ask for a meat-free option than to interrogate people about the different textures of everything on the menu. Unfortunately meat replacement products are getting better and better at replicating actual meat and people think they’re doing me a favour by feeding me those kek
Everyone I’ve known who’s very loud about having “ARFID”, on the other hand, uses it as an excuse to only eat junk food and many of them seem to actually enjoy being difficult and getting attention for it. It’s so embarrassing to be at a restaurant with one of these people and watching them summon a waiter to complain about there being an almond on one of the bonbons even though she told them she doesn’t like almonds!!1 You’re not allergic you whiner, just pick it off. There’s no need to announce that sort of thing, but if they solve their own problems quietly they won’t get any attention for it and then what’s the point?
No. 2382118
>>2381286>after all we're picky eaters who prefer routine in theoryNot trying to be mean, but it's not "we." It's you and people like you. A lot of autistic people aren't picky eaters, and a lot of normies are picky eaters.
>>2381605>People use ARFID as an excuse to only eat junk food.Yup. I've noticed this becoming a problem in the mid-2010s, but does anyone else feel like most people now have issues taking responsibility for themselves? It's like, okay, if you wanna eat junk food all day that's fine, it's your life, but you have to actually
admit that you like junk food and that you don't care about your health. A lot of people can't be arsed to admit that they're doing something bad, so instead they use all these random disorders as an excuse for them. It's like how people that fry their brains by using their phone for 16 hours a day all think that they have ADHD now, even though they didn't display any symptoms as children. It's like nobody can ever take responsibility anymore.
No. 2386475
>>2386453>One of the main reasons I wanted to be a scientist is because I thought it would be an autism-friendly fieldReally? I would have thought most of it would be moidy as fuck. Don't give up though nona!
Anecdote about hearing people at work talk about autism though: I once at my previous job overheard another worker complain to her friend that she didn't want to date a (specific) guy because he is an autist. This person didn't know I was autistic so naturally wouldn't have cared that I overheard her. I genuinely found that super funny, I went to the bathroom just to silently laugh and to be able to text my (also autistic) friend about how hilarious I found this woman accidentally saying that in front of an autist was. She wasn't exactly a catch to date either so it was pretty funny she was judging others on how dateable they are too.
My boss overheard it too and I guess saw me going into the bathroom because when I came out she looked so worried and like she was about to talk to me, I'm pretty sure she thought I went into the bathroom to cry kek
But I just happily smiled like nothing was wrong so she never said anything.
No. 2386876
>>2386840Autism is mostly genetic, so if your father has autism, it makes sense that your brother and you also have autism. Your children will probably have autism too. Even if they don't have autism, since your children will be raised in part by an autistic mother, they will grow up mirroring certain autistic behaviours. So, for example, if Mum and Dad both have autism, but they have Daughter and she doesn't have autism, Daughter will still grow up surrounded by autism and autistic behaviours so she will naturally take after her parents and become a quasi-autist.
Autism isn't that common, it's a well-known problem in psychology circles today that autism is being over-diagnosed. Usually, the reason children are being diagnosed with autism even without having it are because:
>Their parents believe that their child is autistic for whatever reason, so they will shop around for a doctor to confirm their belief.>An autism diagnosis begets certain privileges for children in school, e.g., a child with behavioural problems will get more accommodations at school with an autism diagnosis rather than just on the basis of behavioural problems.>The quality of psychological education has been degrading since the mid-2000s, and the requirements for diagnosis have been watered down in recent years by persons that wouldn't have had the right to diagnose in prior to the mid-2000s.>Autism as a diagnosis has been shifting away from its original diagnostic criteria for a long time, this was made worse by the decision to combine Autism with Aspergers in the DSM in the early-2010s. ASP is a catch-all diagnosis that under-experienced and under-educated psychotherapists use to remedy their own ignorance.ASD is also seen as more common now because it's become the new vogue mental illness à la MDD in the late-2000s and early-2010s. Remember how in 2012 every person on Tumblr had "depression?" It's the same idea now: impressionable teenagers want to belong to a community, they see a identity-based community online with lax requirements of entry, so they latch on to that identity to feel like they're a part of something.
No. 2386914
>>2386887So true nona. I think psychologists have very strong confirmation bias issues. If someone comes in saying "hey I watched tiktok a lot and now I think I may have ADHD" they're going to purposely look for any sign that you have ADHD, often ignoring everything else possibly being the cause. Or they draw the wrong conclusion like "the depression is a symptom of ADHD" rather than the other way around. I think part of the problem is also that people don't think depression is "enough" anymore. It's not a "permanent" enough condition so you can't tell your boss "I need accommodations due to depression" the way you can with ADHD.
I think I speak for nearly everyone when I say I've known people who suddenly got a ADHD diagnosis despite the fact that they clearly did not have a past of ADHD symptoms, nor do they seem to struggle THAT much in the present time either. They're clearly just really stressed out at the moment and have never had to face that before.
No. 2386916
>>2386887Because MDD and GAD can be cured with psychotherapy. ADHD is a lifelong disorder, so patients can't be cured of it. Most physicians get more $$ by prescribing ADHD medications compared to prescribing SSRIs.
In the same vein, a lot of people don't do their due diligence when it comes to choosing their psych team. I would never dream of choosing a therapist or a psychologist with under 20 years of experience. Yet, a lot of people choose freshly-graduated psychotherapists with very minimal training and experience and then they trust them to properly diagnose them. As I said before, ADHD is a lifelong disorder, but it's also a very useful tool for the eternal-
victim. It's basically a "Get Out of Jail Free!" card for lazy people that don't take their lives seriously, so a lot of latent-munchies prefer an ADHD diagnosis over a GAD diagnosis.
No. 2387429
>>2347389It took me years and years on end to find even 1 neuropsych in my state who screens adults. The medical community as a whole (like much of society) still views autism as a "children's disorder." Sure, the diagnosis is "easy" if you actually fit the criteria, after the long search to find a doctor who will even screen adults. But anon's assertion that anyone can just stroll into any doc's office and get an autism diagnosis like it's nothing, and that a medical diagnosis would somehow not be legit either, is incredibly laughable and stupid.
What do you mean by "red flags"?
No. 2387569
>>2387429>What do you mean by "red flags"?Damn you're are so lucky I happened to be lurking right now lmao
I mean there were things about me that could have been explained by other things than autism. For one I had long standing anxiety that started around puberty… what teenager isn't anxious? I don't think they fully considered or looked into the fact that I might JUST be anxious. I also didn't have any sensory issues, I've actually later discovered some but at the time it showed up as if I was almost completely lacking any issues there. I had close autist-diagnosed friends, so it could easily have been social contagion, or me copying them for whatever reason. None of my parents are autists or anything close to disordered either, they're full on normal normies. I never walked on my toes or did anything stereotypical for autistic kids. I was obviously also high-functioning enough that I somehow made it through school without being diagnosed, so what's the point in diagnosing me as an adult? I still am somehow clearly spergy enough that I got a diagnosis. Perhaps me being a nitpick and thinking they didn't even test it all properly is part of what made it obvious I do indeed meet the critera of being an autist kek
>and that a medical diagnosis would somehow not be legit either, is incredibly laughable and stupid.That's a pretty bold claim to make in a time when 12 year old girls regularly have their breasts amputated and get injected with anabolic steroids because they have the diagnosis "gender dysphoria". I'm glad you have faith and trust the medical industry in your state though, I really truly hope they deserve that trust.
No. 2387674
>>2387653I used to go to a clinic that had high turnover rates so I was cycled through like 5 different psychs in the time I was there (yeah, it's shit but I was too overall burnt out to do something about it and go somewhere else at the time). I'd seen 3 different psychs prior to that while living in other places.
It really depends on the psych, I'd say 2/3rds were really keen on just trusting self-testimony of ADHD and letting me do my own thing while 1/3rd were very stingy about it and required extensive preliminary testing/continual retesting before they'd agree with an ADHD diagnosis over other things and prescribe stimulant medications accordingly.
I wish more psychs were like the latter tbh, like yeah it's annoying when you really need it but stimulant medications do need to be dispensed carefully and I experienced more malpractice with the psychs who handed them out very freely.
No. 2387928
>>2387653The ancient battle of
>they diagnosed too many peopleAnd
>but they refuse to diagnose MEBoth can be true at the same time. I think larpers buying certain diagnosis so often makes some psychologists more hesitant to diagnose people with those labels. You're not the problem, the 9/10 other people they saw who cried wolf are, and you're the one suffering for it. It's always the most vulnerable people who end up paying the price.
No. 2391776
>>2391566>I maintain friendships because it's beneficial in society>is making me miserableI feel like my little pony friendship is magic was made for you because you clearly don't understand what real friendship is and need to be taught about it. It's a good show tho.
>>2391670>thinking I was loved for my mind when in reality my family/community was just anticipating how these might translate into financial success and social prestigeI think you're vastly overthinking it and changing your past to be able to wallow in self-pity that people don't like your chosen path. People really did love you and valued you, why are you so set and denying their feelings just because they NOW are unsure about your current choice? I'm assuming you're an autist so you should know that coping with change and getting off the anticipated path can be mentally hard to accept, that sometimes includes others judging your path because they don't understand why you changed it out of the blue. Did they truly know your last job made you miserable and that you wanted to kill yourself over it? Maybe to them it looked like you just got a bit bored and quit on a whim. Or if they did know, maybe they think that you switched paths because you got so mentally drained and confused that you're not thinking clearly and don't know what's best for you.
No. 2392196
>>2392059Are you sure you didn't just grow up to be an adult and they no longer coddled you as if you were a small child? Serious question because that's incredibly common for normies too. Parents regularly go "omg Steve you could be a doctor one day when you grow up! Or a lawyer! You're so smart, you are THE smartest kid in the WORLD! You'll be the president one day!" and I could see that be translated for an autist to think they literally meant all that so when they stopped at an appropriate age and get serious about what job youo'll have they think parents hate them and no longer love or believe in them, just like I've seen normies say too but more intense.
I've also yet to meet an autist who doesn't have massive problems with over-thinking and assuming everyone hates them for some ridiculous made up reason that only exists in their heads. Including ones with a healthy upbringing, it's just an inherent risk to autist brains being very self-focused. I'm so glad I entered autistic groups online with a lot of "exaggerated" autistic personalities because I was eventually able to realize I was acting as self-centered and annoying as they were, just on a smaller scale. Initially it made me seethe but once I accepted it and realized I had to change my life and relationships have improved a lot.
>reported by many autistsjust doesn't always reflect reality. A lot of the time we end up being retards led by other retards (or led by normies pretending to be retards, idk which is worse). Think about it like a paranoid person having delusions: do you think a normie or a fellow paranoid person would be better at reassuring them? It's easy to assume another paranoid person would be able to relate and talk them out of it, but instead what happens is the other paranoid person goes "yes, there are spies in your cabinet and the mice do steal from you at night, I've heard them too so I can confirm they are real" and now you have two paranoid people affirming each others delusions instead. That happens with autism too when we always go "yes, people do in fact hate you and everyone is disappointed in you so you should resent them and cut them out of your life for good".
No. 2392343
>>2392196>Are you sure you didn't just grow up to be an adult and they no longer coddled you as if you were a small child? Yes, you obnoxious dork. Believe it or not, I had experiences in my life between "being a literal 3 year old" and "adult woman". Not everybody is raised in your theoretical perfect family that loves and cherished every child "despite their differences".
>I've also yet to meet an autist who doesn't have massive problems with over-thinking and assuming everyone hates them for some ridiculous made up reason that only exists in their heads.Okay, that's your experience. It doesn't mean you should come in here to shit on other women who are trying to relate to others with similar problems. Your interactions with terminally online autists isn't the entirety of autism in women.
You're coming in here with this holier-than-thou attitude pretending like every autistic woman is exactly like you, and you're so much more enlightened now because YOU were a self centered dipshit but "figured it out". If anything you're falling into the same trap by assuming every other woman in this thread dealing with cruelty from non-autists is a spoiled brat with no awareness outside of herself. Just like you were.
You should use a modicum of that new awareness outside of yourself to realize autistic women are disproportionately targeted to be groomed, ostracized, assaulted, and generally victimized compared to women who are not autistic. And not contribute to that by coming in and shitting up this thread with unhelpful "but are you SURE people are REALLY being mean to you, womanchild?" tripe.
No. 2392356
>>2392327Hey ty for responding. To my knowledge, here are the symptoms besides rumination that I've been dealing with that have led to both an ADHD diagnosis and a "diagnostic screening" for OCD therapy (I screened in such a way they allowed me into the therapy group, they didn't diagnose me)
>transitioning to new tasks>staying motivated on current tasks>regulating emotions (I either ignore them or shut them down, or get caught in a feeling loop of i'm feeling this way and I shouldn't)>short term memory is garbage>fidget all the time, i have to be "doing something" constantly whether that's doomscrolling or fiddling with my hair or tapping my leg or playing with my neck skin, why the fcuk do i do that>impulse controlI've been taking Prozac for OCD and it really reduces the ruminations. I take vyvanse and have taken adderall in the past. Both helped with organization and emotional regulation but not in the way I think it should? Or I'm wondering what I should be feeling considering that I'm a big walking mess when I'm not taking it…
No. 2392359
>>2392348Your first step should probably be getting full, and then sitting down and meal planning. You want to look at foods that are pretty easy to make, usually combining canned foods into a pot or casserole dish and then cooking it. After you serve yourself, you can eat the leftovers for your next few meals.
You can find a few meals you like, double or triple the recipes, and then freeze what you won't eat in a few days. You can either freeze it in a big container, or freeze it in meal sized portions. The second one could be good for you, because then you can freeze it in a microwave safe container, and pop it directly into the microwave like a frozen dinner.
No. 2392626
>>2392356How much would you say those traits impact your daily life? Is it a minor inconvenience? A major impediment for you in accomplishing goals?
>Vyvanse and Adderall helped with organization and emotional regulationHow did you expect it to help you vs. what did it actually do? Am I correct in reading that the symptoms you listed are also the symptoms you presented that led to the potential OCD screening?
Sorry for playing 20 questions. I'm just trying to get a better picture of what you struggle with and how much. I'm not a medfag but just have done a lot of reading on ADHD in women and to a lesser degree ADHD and OCD comorbidity.
No. 2393036
>>2393026Jesus fucking christ.
>>2391566Anyways, while you are a unique person, there is definitely someone out there who has had enough similar experiences to you that you will be able to relate to one another. It took me until I was in my late 20s to find my best friend, and we come from entirely different backgrounds. Does she need to intimately understand my every waking thought? No, but we have a synergy and understand enough of each other to develop a strong relationship.
Don't waste your time on relationships that aren't having a positive impact on your life, but don't give up too soon, either. Not everybody has to be a close, cherished friend. You can and should have acquaintances. But I think you should keep looking for a good friend who you mesh well with, even if you need to take a break from searching every now and then.
No. 2394432
>>2394404Take some time to familiarize yourself with the non-verbal cues that normies have that indicate when they are finished speaking. You can find guides for this online or in some self-help books targeted towards autists wishing to improve their social skills.
It can be difficult for autists to realize which time is the right time to speak, especially when the conversation includes several people. The solution to this is to research how to be more present in a conversation and to practice conversing. It won't be easy for you, but it's something you have to do.
>>2394429NTAYRT, but you have a pessimistic and defeatist attitude. You would prefer to languish in your pain instead of working towards healing it, but that's a very harmful outlook. Nobody is meant to be alone because human beings are social animals. Autists are human beings, therefore they are social animals. To claim that some autists are born to be alone is a cope and it's a poor excuse that borders on delusion. There are lots of programs for autists to improve their social skills and to help them make friends.
No. 2394461
>>2392196>I've also yet to meet an autist who doesn't have massive problems with over-thinking and assuming everyone hates them for some ridiculous made up reason that only exists in their headsIt's because we
trigger disgust and annoyance in people which makes us easy targets for hostility and bullying. If you're met with consistent rejection you default to "this person dislikes me" until proven wrong. Thing is only a fraction of hostility is because of autism but it's frequent enough to make you think it's
always because you're retarded
>A lot of the time we end up being retards led by other retards (or led by normies pretending to be retards, idk which is worse)Kekkk i was thinking about this yesterday, how unfortunate it is that so many autists can't detect fakers because they can't imagine someone would lie so easily and frequently
>>2394436Same, somewhat related but many of my interests (special or just regular curiosity) are about things that initially scared/overwhelmed me. It's like an exorcism. Psychology and anything related to human behavior/societies for example
No. 2394775
>>2394404I feel this in my bones, nonna.
Has anyone ever told you that you speak too loudly or too quietly? My voice is very quiet so my issue with group conversations is that even when I do manage to speak up, someone else will invariably speak over me and people will pay attention to them instead. I can imagine that if someone’s voice is louder than usual, people are more likely to get annoyed when that person speaks up vs. when someone quieter speaks up even if they’re technically not doing anything wrong or unusual.
I wish I had any useful advice. I’ve done all the social skills trainings and I recognise the cues people give off when they’re finished speaking but if I wait for them to finish entirely, someone else will always butt in before I can. It’s like you’re supposed to interrupt a little but not too much. People seem to be less offended by interruptions if the interrupter appears to be agreeing with them and smiling, even if they then immediately change the subject.
>>2394436When I was younger I was very interested in societies with strict rules of etiquette which led to an interest in the comedy of manners genre, particularly works by Jane Austen. I also enjoy tv series and movies where rules of etiquette, social conflict, misunderstandings, manipulation, essentially Theory of Mind plays a major role. I’m actually better at picking up on such things in tv shows than the NT people I watch them with and it’s become a kind of habit for them to pause the show and ask me wtf is going on when they lose track of the plot. It’s a lot of fun. Unfortunately this doesn’t translate to real life because real people aren’t actors and there’s no convenient panning the camera over to the person making the Significant Facial Expression. And in real life, I’m expected to participate. That’s the worst part.
No. 2395408
>>2395362ayart. Based off of everything you have shared you sound like you have ADHD, not OCD. Rumination is a symptom of OCD but is not unique to the disorder. OCD at its core is an anxiety disorder and rumination is present in all anxiety disorders. This isn't to say you are not benefiting from the OCD treatment with prozac and therapy, but that they are successful due to the fact it's the same treatment you would receive if you presented with just GAD. The comorbidity rate with anxiety disorders and ADHD is absurdly high so I think that's much more likely the case here than your therapist's theory of pure OCD.
Generally if someone did not have ADHD they would not react the way you described when prescribed stimulants. It would be more likely that you would have experienced an increase in your ruminations. Binge eating is also a known comorbidity with ADHD since in effect your brain is seeking stimulation in
some way. It's why people with ADHD are also at a higher risk for developing addictions. It's difficult to explain the difference between my ADHD's hyperfixations and my OCD's ruminations, but they're distinctly different in how they present and how I respond to them. From the outside they both could look like obsessions however so it's hard for many to totally distinguish between the two.
I hope this was helpful nona, feel free to comment any time and I will try to reply back if you have further questions.
No. 2397351
File: 1739453564166.png (429.77 KB, 717x529, 1737846712249.png)
>Be diagnosed sperg, complain about extreme social difficulties to my therapist
>"People are cruel and/or avoid you because they're all tech rotted ipad kids who can barely communicate with each other and you have a very mature mindset, not because they can tell youre autistic"
Not sure how to take that because other people seem to be able to communicate just fine. I don't feel mature, I feel like a dysfunctional womanchild despite being in my 20s. I think she's biased because she primarily works with a lot of cocomelon-brained zoomers.
Do you ever get told you're mature minded or an "old soul" despite having childish interests and/or appearance?
No. 2397424
>>2397351>Do you ever get told you're mature minded or an "old soul" despite having childish interests and/or appearance?All the damn time until I hit my mid-20s. I hate it especially when people tell autistic girls this, because they widen the chasm between autistic girls and our peers. I knew so many girls who befriended inappropriately old people (like hanging out with 40s and 50s people while they're still teenagers) and this was considered acceptable by their parents and therapists because they're so "mature". In their mind, it's better to befriend a creepy 40+ year old moid who has no business wanting to hang out with a teenage girl because they're "getting along" and the girl is getting some social exposure, rather than her struggling to befriend girls or even boys her own age. It's also an easy cop out for therapists to not have to work so hard. They can just be all
>idk anon you're an old soul. There's no point in trying to relate to these tech-rotted kids because they Just Won't Understand YouInstead of providing actual solutions like "Have you asked them what they're watching?" Or literally anything that might help the situation.
No. 2397686
>>2397351>I think she's biased because she primarily works with a lot of cocomelon-brained zoomers.Honestly she might be onto something there though. Normies are becoming dysfunctional too these days. I mean just the fact that she has likely has normie clients like that when "back in the day" only people with real trauma or disorders went to therapy.
>Do you ever get told you're mature minded or an "old soul" despite having childish interests and/or appearance?All the time kek I literally have danger hair and wear a pretty alt fashion style. Maybe they're just so surprised I'm not as childish as they had thought that I seem mature compared to their own image of me, who knows.
But in SOME cases it's warranted, like I don't use social media like other people my age and never have so I do seem "older" that way.
No. 2399075
>>2397351>Do you ever get told you're mature minded or an "old soul" despite having childish interests and/or appearance?I think this happens to a lot of women even if they’re neurotypical if they’re just the slightest bit inclined to think more deeply of things, just another way to dismiss our concerns and extort emotional labor.
Anon you should really get a new therapist. Even if she is seeing mostly “cocomelon-brained zoomers” her generalization just shows how narrow minded she is and she was very dismissive of your goal. Giving her the benefit of the doubt and assuming that you are an “old soul” she still basically just told you to give up when a productive therapist could have helped you get the root of what you feel to be socialization/communication issues
No. 2399086
>>2395408Thanks
nonnie… At the end of the day, nobody cares about that internal power struggle/question about who am I, what am I dealing with, and how should I treat it except for me, but BECAUSE I am essentially addict-brained (binge eating for 10+ years, then developing ED/bulimia, then exercising, then weed, smoking, drinking, ADHD medication) I feel like I am an intrinsic failure, like I will always have to be struggling with a vice and never live up to my full potential. The imposter syndrome, so on and so forth.
>>2397351I was told I have an old soul by a juror in a school competition, "like Gertrude Stein". Thanks for that comparison, I'm going to spin out and worry about all the ways in which I'm like Gertrude Stein.
No. 2399095
>>2399086>Gertrude SteinHad to go look her up, she seems based. Applied to medical school and dropped out because it bored her too much. This is from Wikipedia
>Her uncorseted physical appearance and eccentric mode of dress aroused comment and she was described as "Big and floppy and sandaled and not caring a damn."I aspire to be this badass one day.
No. 2399429
>>2399098Yeah, teachers can be a pain in the ass. My own head teacher told me in 7th grade that I was a nuissance because I didn't make friends on her class, turns out I was bullied hard.
But I don't care about it anymore, I'm living my best life and maybe she's dead.
No. 2399891
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To me, the autistic experience is the state where you hope that at certain age your problems will magically disappear. Before I was diagnosed, as a teenager I just hoped "one day" I will grow out of "this". My family and teachers also used to tell me, I will and I have to stop being "like this". But "that" day never came
It's my 30th birthday today and I think I wouldn't feel so terrible about aging if I wasn't so far behind others and low functioning. There's ageism and society telling you you're old already, but the fact that I have nothing to show makes it so much worse. Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane, I just want to lay down and rot and cry. The only thing that keeps me somewhat sane for now is that I still look younger, but I'm scared how I will cope with my body changing when I no longer look like someone in their 20s, if coping with the number "3" being in the front instead of "2" is already that hard. I hate any changes. I've been young my whole life. The state of youth is the state I've gotten used to. I hated how my body changed during puberty and I still can't fully accept it. Aging makes it worse. My body changes but inside I still feel the same, like a child. I'm the same as I was at 15. I'm not high functioning, I struggle with basic tasks, formalities are hard for me, I can't form relationships or friendships, I feel alone and I'm the happiest in my own fantasies, real world paralyzes me, thinking about fictional characters, daydreaming and spending hours on researching my current fixation makes me happy. My therapist told me many times I should not compare myself to neurotypical people. I'm not like others and I will never be like others because I have developmental disorder, and on top of that many traumas from childhood neglect, I will also be evaluated for ADHD. But then again, there are autistic/ADHD people who function way better than me and aren't failures like me. Autism is not an excuse for being a FAILURE. What did go so wrong for me? Why do I still struggle with basic tasks, why didn't I achieve anything, no higher education, no skills, and I regressed in the only skill that I was good at and I could make money from. I blew the chance for being self employed, I ruined everything. I grow older, the expectations towards me grow, but I still feel and behave like a child. I'm scared I will regress even more in the next decade. I'm sorry for blogposting, I feel so pathetic and alone with this
No. 2400760
>>2399891Sorry nona, your worth isn't connected to how well you flip a burger or make a billion friends. You're still a person who has your own value. If you like escapism, maybe you'd like to write or create your own world somehow? You can do that at your own pace and for your own sake just for fun! And if you ever decided to share it maybe it would comfort and help someone else too. There are plenty of people who just share their ideas or theories online through videos or blogs and they get an audience because people find it fun to hear about it.
And idk if this is a bit unhinged advice BUT I find if I'm stuck in a period where I just can't help but compare myself to others, make an effort to compare yourself to people who have it worse than you. There are many documentaries about freaky medical conditions, like Abby & Brittany the conjoined twins who share a body. Watching them makes me feel both like my life isn't that bad, and also a sort of companionship because there really are plenty of weirdo not standard humans like me out there!
No. 2401898
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>irl be told i am articulate
>online get asked if i am esl
anyone else?
No. 2401904
>>2401898I'm surprised I haven't been accused of being a tard/esl, because I make
so many typos when I phonepost. I only ever seem to catch them after hitting reply, and they're always the embarrassing kind of typos, like using "too" instead of "to."
No. 2401928
>>2401903no. if i was ESL there would be no reason to ask about this
>>2401904i can proofread my post a dozen times and i still end up having a word out of order or mistype something
No. 2403184
>>2401898kek ok so this is overly specific (and not an attack on you) but I knew another autistic moid in my non-English speaking country. He hated our native language so he refused to speak anything other than English to me. He was VERY proud over how grammatically correct he was. He was the type to throw in unnecessary "fancy" words to make himself feel smart, acting like "it makes communication clearer and more exact" when it very clearly did fucking not. Like he'd be chatting to people from other countries with obvious broken English and instead of going "the animal was killed" he'd be like "the mammalian creature was unreservedly eviscerated" and then the poor other people would naturally be confused af. He didn't know how to use English to communicate, he just knew the English dictionary well. He was so proud over his language skills, when in reality he wasn't even basic level fluent because he didn't know how to communicate. Meanwhile my own social media ass level of English got me friends instantly because while I don't know as many fancy words, I'd actually speak/write it fluently while throwing in stupid memespeak and slang. I'd use it closer to how native speakers used it in daily life, and would end up sounding more fluent. Because no native speaker would ever go "unreservedly eviscerated" out of the blue while "lol it fuckin dead" would be accepted.
Also the few times he did speak our native language he'd mess up by using English phrasing instead, which sounds retarded in our language. That bitchboy couldn't even speak his own language correctly, he had no right bragging about skills in another language.
No. 2405953
>>2405083I’m just ADHD but I kinda relate, I work with little kids and sometimes I feel more engaged talking to them because they haven’t had the natural curiosity socialized out of them and are genuinely interested in hearing about random bits of trivia I picked up from whatever fleeting hyperfixation. The smarter ones even ask great questions and we’ll look stuff up together and it’s so much fun.
In your case maybe it’s a combination of that childlike wonder and younger people being less socially inhibited than adults and therefore easier to “read”?
No. 2406160
>>2405083I don't see it as a problem, I'm friends with older people because I genuinely like them as people. I do also have a friend my age so it's not like it's only old people.
I usually don't like where young people are in life. They're constantly horny, want to "experiment" with stupid shit, selfish, partying and getting fucked up is the standard, they're poor and waste money on things I don't care about. I've always preferred people with stable lives and stable relationships, they're down to go to the boring things I like such as museums or to see some cool nature with a sweet dog tagging along or trying a new hobby like painting. They don't have a new boy/girlfriend every other month and instead have hobbies they share with me. They've also got nice stories to share of their lives that aren't just "so I got really drunk and fucked this guy". I feel like I would have fit in better socially like 100 years ago because I'm such a "good girl" by default. I don't mean to be and I wasn't brought up by strict parents or anything, it's literally just my default to be like this.
No. 2406947
>>2391055Depends what kind of disorders. Ones like BPD and NPD hinge on wanting constant attention/validation from other people, which is the opposite of what autists want, so it would be kind of weird if a person had both at once? Can't imagine how that would work. For something like ASPD, I can definitely see that being a thing. Have met a few autists that seem to be total sociopaths at the same time.
>>2402679NO NO NO. NEVER tell HR that you have any kind of non-physical disability. They will find a way to fire you using some other excuse (or if you're an at-will job, for no reason at all)
No. 2409873
>>2409829You've met bippies who claim they're autistic. Autism and BPD are diametrally opposed. There's no such thing as "opposite" conditions but they're really, really,
really contradictory. BPD people cannot stand aloneness and a lot of their issues stem from the fact they have a very frail self so loneliness (even sporadic, even imaginary) is catastrophic for them. Autists don't fear aloneness like that, actually we often reject contact (eg. not liking eye contact). Bippies struggle socially but it's because they fuck things up by being
too demanding, intense and controlling, as a way to cope with their very unstable mood and psychic pain. We couldn't be more different. Autistic people with shitty,
abusive childhoods might be insecure people or have disorganized attachment but that's different from full-blown BPD. If someone says they have both, it means they're lying or mistaken, honestly it's usually a lie especially with this trend of self-dx
No. 2409944
>>2409884>I'm pretty sure there are 4 different accepted types of BPDNTAYRT but this isn't real. The "4 types" is pop. psych. disinformation that bippies use to obfuscate their disorder. No psychologist worth anything would say there are 4 different types kek. There's only 1 BPD.
>>2409873Autistic people can have personality disorders. Autism doesn't mean you're an alien.
No. 2410035
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Have any nonnas done behavioral therapy? I start tomorrow and I'm nervous. I really want to learn better coping skills and social skills so that I can keep up with my friends. It makes me so embarrassed trying to hang out places with them and having to go home due to getting overstimulated and having meltdowns. I wish I could drive or have a job like they do…I'm already 24 and I'm still a stupid NEET. I cry a lot because I feel like I'm getting nowhere in life. I'm getting support from the government due to my tard status so I hope I can utilize it well and improve myself a lot so that I can actually contribute to society and feel more mature.
No. 2410073
>>2410035If you're getting neetbux it is a really good idea to pay for a driving school. My dad wanted to kill me because teaching me to drive was so hard, but the driving school actually saved my retarded ass. It also made me feel way less anxious because they have special cars where the passenger side has a wheel and brakes for the instructor. I felt so much better knowing she could take over if I fucked up, and she told me over and over that she would do it if I fucked up the day we did freeway driving kek
And after you learn to drive (and get over your first major fuck ups) you don't forget and driving myself around is one of my favorite things to do. You're alone, in your car that you keep the way you like, with music you choose, on a road you've driven before. You can even practice driving somewhere the day before appointments to reduce stress.
No. 2410077
>>2409944>Autistic people can have personality disorders. Right, i just don't believe it's possible with BPD. I've never seen it, can't picture it because it looks impossible and every person i've seen claiming it didn't show a single genuinely autistic trait, only cluster B traits, they acted just like any other bippie.
>>2409992You seem okay, honestly. Nothing evil about holding grudges, it's just not an ideal trait, but that's fine. Besides, autistic people are more prone to stuff like magical thinking and even schizophrenia. The very word "autism" is actually related to schizo, it was used to describe how delusional patients would retreat into themselves. That's not to say you're schizo or anything but it's very possible you're
just autistic, even if you've got weird things going on
No. 2410179
>>2409884>People show their BPD in different waysEvery mental disorder can't be a fucking "spectrum", it's getting ridiculous
>>2410160>are there adhd women who also suffer with porn addiction or hypersexuality due to low dopamine too?judging by the fact that my friends with adhd all identify as fujos and that's a very core part of their lives and hobbies, i'd say yes
No. 2410180
>>2410162I'm very hopeful for you, nonna! I asked my dad about it a little more just for you, and he said he paid for extra lessons for me, too. That driving school in particular was known for having driving instructors that could get the job done with autistic and other learning disabled kids, though it wasn't specialized or special ed accredited or anything like that. So you might also want to ask around in autism/disability support groups to see what schools those parents sent their kids to.
Before I actually got inside of a car, my driving school had us attend a class on the weekend. A bunch of other kids and I were taught driving laws by a lecturer, supplemented by videos, and we did practice tests for the written portion of the DMV test. It was super helpful and I only missed one question on my actual test kek.
Do whatever it takes! Driving is a really important skill and it is one of the biggest limitations when someone is attempting to achieve independence.
No. 2410206
>>2410160As someone with adhd I go from sex repulsed to needing to masturbate more than 4 hours a day. It's unpredictable but I think I notice there are
triggers for me. Usually if I see something that pisses me off it can kind of send a signal to my brain. Maybe its my brain overcompensating idk.
No. 2410526
>>2410515You're probably going to have more luck befriending adhd women who are non-autists or don't have autistic traits which impair their functioning too much. If you're good at being friendly or charasmatic, that's your target. Women who are functional enough to be part of society, but are still a little "off" enough to not quite fit in with normies at large. They may be more introverted or have strange interests. They may even have more "normal" interests, but be fixated more than the average woman, or flip back and forth between interests too often for people to "trust". Normies view that as an "inconsistent personality" rather than a busy brain.
A lot of more socially adjusted autists make the mistake of trying to befriend women who are too mentally ill to actually gel with them past surface interests.
No. 2410553
>>2410538NPD needs the genuine grandiosity and
abusive behaviour though. Learning to read people does not make you inherently manipulative, though a lot of autists especially women can
feel they are.
Not saying NPD and autism can't be comorbid because I've seen some textbook cases, but
autistic women thinking they're narcissistic just makes me sad kek No. 2412846
>>2410526>the mistake of trying to befriend women who are too mentally ill to actually gel with them past surface interests.Sadkek this has happened to me so many times, most of the time I just get ghosted which is fine but it’s gotten kinda nasty. I definitely see the point with bpd and unmitigated autism having overlap, I think it’s something about mirroring in combination with lack of appropriate social boundaries.
>>2410540Where do you hangout? A lot of people in my social circle have ADHD in order to abuse stimulants and or got pipelined from TikTok pop psychology but don’t really have the thought patterns I read from more genuine ADHD sufferers
No. 2413026
>>2412992sorry for an unrelated question but how is the prozac for you
nonnie? i take lamotrigine and vyvanse but have noticed the former helping less and a good 1-2 weeks of intense OCD that tapers off but lingers, resulting in depressive episodes again. the ocd is so severe im debating on adding in prozac but not sure. im also curious how your ocd is around your period and if you also experience less effectiveness with vyvanse during then/esp with the prozac
No. 2413036
>>2412992ADHD/OCD AYART
>I started taking my stimulant prescription again, and the best way I can describe it is a big cup of coffee that actually works. I feel no stress switching between tasks.Stimulants do the same thing for me. The biggest change in my behavior is that I don’t struggle with task initiation or executive functioning to the same degree. I always know my meds are working when I start thinking about doing my hobbies again. Without stimulants I just bedrot. I’m on Prozac for my OCD and the main benefit from it is that it cuts down on some of the intrusive thoughts and ruminations. My stimulant medication actually brings down my anxiety to a manageable level which isn’t uncommon in people with ADHD.
>>2413026>ADHD and OCD symptoms around your periodThis is a known issue in women’s ADHD communities, but unfortunately research is only just now being conducted on how hormones may affect our presentation of symptoms. Some doctors will increase your dosage in the week leading up to your period, but many won’t because of that lack of research. I have PMDD in addition to everything else so can really relate to your struggles.
No. 2413076
>>2412846I'm
>>2410526 and I found my non-autist ADHD woman online. I said they're not necessarily popular with normies, remember? I approached her first by sending her a message asking about a post something on her blog was referencing. We've been happily sperging together for almost 10 years now.
You have the autism superpowers. You will likely have to approach first since these girls are shy from being ADHD and knowing they're different. Be friendly and eager, but don't pressure her or look desperate. If it's going to be a good friendship, it's worth it to take the time to slowly feel each other out. Remember that if she's interested, she wants this to go as well as you do, because she is looking for her compatible autist to sperg out with, even if she wouldn't put it in those terms. If you can do research beforehand, make sure she has similar interests and ideals as you, otherwise you're going to struggle to talk and stay interested.
Remember, it's not about getting to know somebody you're fawning over, or finding someone to put up with your behaviors in a one-sided relationship. You're looking for somebody who seems interesting that you can have a conversation with, and then if your personalities are compatible, you'll both end up looking forward to hanging out with the other regularly.
It might take a few false starts, but you can do it! Good luck!
No. 2413131
>>2413026Honestly, Prozac has been the best medication or 'thing' that has happened to me in terms of real, measurable improvement in my life.
>started Prozac in late 2021 after another B/P cycle that seemed to last days and days (I used to be actively bulimic) >first month, I was crying at random things, and felt like my emotions were recalibrating essentially>binge eating but no urge to purge>gain weight but somehow not feeling suicidal and insane about it >keep taking Prozac, not drinking, not smoking weed>Half a year later: binges are nonexistent, no longer tormented by repetitive guilt-and-shame OCD spiralling about my body functions and appearance>stopped body checking>stopped cutting (it was infrequent anyway, but this really nipped it in the bud)>stopped counting calories>stopped getting ridiculously upset and controlling over every piece of food or ingredient that entered my bodyI later tried Wellbutrin XL with a blessing from my psych (I had to be B/P and eating disorder behavior free for a period of time before he felt comfortable prescribing it to me, because it lowers your seizure threshold) but Wellbutrin just made me like, ANGRY. I felt the anger that used to well up when I was teenager. It was insane. I got off of that and decided, fuck, I'll just do Vyvanse again.
I've also been doing ERP therapy for OCD, and that has also played a huge role in eliminating my ruminations and the behaviors I would take to make them go away/quiet my mind. The Vyvanse just quiets the rest of the non-ruminations. It's a plus that it does curb my appetite, but thankfully unlike Prozac, I can just stop taking it on days when I feel like I need to catch up with eating.
Ruminations would usually come around closer to my period - I'd have a lot of paranoid, weird feelings about relationships, which are my main object of rumination. I'd also be triple-guessing everything I said and did. When I drink, they come back full force, especially around my period, but thankfully without alcohol they're at a minimum and barely noticeable. I think I started my period today, I'm just waiting for the aspirin to kick in…
>>2413036Yeah! Damn! I also felt weird that taking stimulants made me feel more "confident" and it made me think that I didn't have ADHD because I didn't realize that I felt confident because I wasn't anxious about random shit anymore. I can drive a car, yes, at night! Or when it's raining! I can agree to pick up a shift at the last minute, I'm not thrown into the purgatory of emotions that come with a disturbed schedule!
No. 2413144
>>2413131thank you so much
nonnie. im starting to think i need to add a dose of prozac to my medication mix or at least for the week before my period. the OCD has just been so bad, but i already take a mood stabilizer and stimulant so im worried ill become retarded, not like the ocd doesnt feel that way already. i also cant afford $200 for therapy each session right now since insurance reset. ill consider it, going to try to take pepcid and do more ocd work by myself and see if i can manage it until i need to do that.
No. 2413173
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>>2413131>I also felt weird that taking stimulants made me feel more "confident" and it made me think that I didn't have ADHD because I didn't realize that I felt confident because I wasn't anxious about random shit anymore.This is exactly how stimulants are suppose to feel in people with ADHD! People who don’t have the disorder talk about feeling “wired”, “bouncing off the walls”, or having a general increase in anxiety. When I was first medicated the weirdest change for me was that I could “hear” better. I have auditory processing problems due to my ADHD which made in-person conversations really difficult. Once I started taking meds I was able to actually decipher what people were saying and formulate a timely response. I use to hate going to get my hair cut because I couldn’t hear well enough to have a natural conversation with the hair dresser. When I take my meds this anxiety and struggle completely disappears. This is all just to say you’re completely normal
nonny! And it sounds like you’re on appropriate medications for your problems!
No. 2413418
>>2413173I think I messed myself up at first because I only started taking stimulants as a college student experimenting with whatever drugs I could get my hands on. So I assumed that I liked its effects because I was an addict. Or a lazy college student, or just a young person going thru it. It wasn't until I graduated that I realized that all of my best work was done when I was on stimulants for more than a few days. But that also didn't make me feel like I was legit, it made me feel like I was a fake artist who can only do good work when I'm thwacked out. It took a really, really long time to accept that maybe I am an addict AND I have ADHD lol
>>2413144I hope your finances get squared away soon and therapy becomes more tenable - I have Harvard Pilgrim insurance (I'm in the states) and I use NOCD. They accept my insurance and I've only had to pay a co-pay once. Their cancellation fee is insane, but it's really worth sticking with and I have a feeling they set the cancellation fee that high to prevent people from making impulse decisions to avoid/skip therapy. I started at two sessions a week for a month and a half. I'm now down to one session a week. It actually helped me figure out that drinking was hurting me more than helping me, and my therapist helped talk me through the worst hangover of my life (I didn't skip therapy but I woke up with a huge hangover from a binge drinking episode the night before, decided fuck it, went to it anyway, and my therapist was supportive that I didn't cancel). My therapist also gave me time to step away from the computer (it's telehealth based) so I could vomit foam for a few minutes. She had me listen to Pleas From Virtue the Cat while I cried through the intrusive thoughts of being a terrible pet owner because I drank. And I stopped drinking… and I realize that if I don't drink, I'm not going to ruminate about what a terrible pet owner I am because I will actually be present in my cat's day to day and not just be a drunk person after 6 PM. I need to stop gushing about it but I am really, really happy I made the decision to do it.
No. 2414525
>>2413076>pressure her or look desperateThis is something I kinda struggle with, I have the “now now now!” type of adhd and always wanna lock in plans with date and time on the spot, plus I’ve been holding back my sperging for so long. I get that it probably
triggers demand avoidance in a lot of similar women. Thank you for the advice nonna! Will keep it in mind going forward. Also very jealous you and your friend had such a meet cute
and stayed in touch for so long
No. 2417319
>>2417291ASD is characterized by certain social deficits, but these deficits can be corrected through therapeutic intervention and life experience. As a child, I found it very difficult to relate to others and I found socializing difficult. The more therapy I attended and the more work I did on myself the easier it became to socialize. Now, as an adult, I find it very easy to make friends and to socialize with strangers.
It might be harder for autists to develop their social skills compared to normies, but through hard work anything is possible. I think that a lot of autists are kind of resigned and don't want to admit that they need help.
No. 2417960
>>2417291While it's hard to judge by someone online from text/photos only, I still think there's a 50% chance a person is lying/mistaken and isn't actually autistic online. I've seen far too many fakers to trust people to be right about it. One thing I've discussed with my diagnosed aspie friends is that none of us actually disclose it online. We don't see it as something we need to have in our bio or to tell people anymore than we have to write "my hair is brown and I'm mildly allergic to sea food". It's just not really relevant.
But I do think I pass for a normie online. If you don't see my daily struggles and just see me make jokes online you wouldn't know I had any social struggles at all. I've spent a lot of time thinking about how my autistic friends type and what "gives them away" and I make sure to avoid typing that way too. In the past I've been paranoid a man would spot me as an autist and see me as an easy
victim, so I ended up being more secretive and considering how to hide it better.
In case anyone cares, some of the giveaways for autists typing (in particular males) are:
>needlessly long messagesMost of which say nothing. If they can use a long phrase instead of a short one, they will.
>trying to clarify everything because they can't read anything between the lines themselvesSo instead of going "yeah the red one" they'll go "Yes, the red variation seems to be the most adequate. It would be beneficial to make that specific choice in this instance, but it's fully possible the next time some other variation, such as blue, would be better. For example blue is better suited for X, Y and Z than the red variation is."
>Correcting OBVIOUS typos, and acting like they do not understand at all if you had a typoMy friend will panic and write "*RED omg sorry! I mean't RED not REF!" as if it would be impossible to understand if she didn't correct it. And she will also go "I've never heard of 'mav and cheese'? What kind of food is that?" fully seriously.
>Being overly emotional/reactiveThis one is interesting because the needlessly long messages read as devoid of any emotion (and they often pride themselves over it too if they're male or nlogs). But then they get told the lightest of critique and they crumble in tears and feel "attacked". Sometimes just writing in caps makes them think you are "screaming" at them and they get scared and upset.
>Not addressing relations to others correctlyFor example, two sisters (let's say Amy and Mary) are in a the same chat group in which they're all close friends. Amy is the autist, so she wouldn't say "me and Mary/we went to the pool yesterday" she would instead say "me and my sister went" even though everyone is well aware they are sisters and they all know Mary. She may also say "MY mom" instead of "our mom" even when Mary is there too. Sometimes it's the opposite and they're like "I went with Laura" and that's really their mom, whose name the others don't know so they think it's a friend.
>Spamming their own thoughts in long messages, even if you don't replyBasically using your chat as a notebook for themselves.
Anyway I think me taking the time to type all this is also very aspie kek
No. 2418033
File: 1740488324818.png (155.41 KB, 1440x1016, 173.png)
>>2346467Saging this so I don't get dragged.
>Understanding facial expressions: https://ieeexplore.ieee.org/abstract/document/10144523>>Maintain eye contact; 1/3 eye contact during talking; 2/3 eye contact when listening. This can be done by dividing the other persons face into three sections, and you focus on each one during different thirds of a minute.>>PicRel>Understanding vocal tones: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1467-8721.00013>>Avoid monotony. Neurotypicals speak with a more grounded inflection. >>The two main features for vocal tones are fundamental frequency (pitch) and intensity (loudness). There are more detailed features like formant (vowel elongation), jitter and shimmer (raspiness), syllable duration and utterance. Happiness has a higher pitch, more syllable duration, and more intensity. >Understanding body language: https://www.nature.com/articles/nrn1872>>Avoid looking at the floor, always look straight forward or up.>>Mirror the other persons body language. Don't do this too much, though.>>Posturemaxxing: >2347714>The most common reasons selected by neurotypical perceivers when judging they disliked autistic targets were (1) the perceived awkwardness of the target, (2) a desire not to talk to the target, (3) target appearing unlikeable, and (4) the target's perceived ability (or lack of ability) to empathize>Embellishment in terms of appearance is important. Looksmax according to your full ability.>To establish friendliness (agreeableness?), sit next to someone rather than across from them.>Repeat people's names often.>Keep the conversations flowing by picking up "key terms" neurotypicals use in a conversation and asking them questions about it. No. 2418066
>>2413173I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 5 years old. My meds make me wired and anxious. Meds have always had significant harmful emotional side effects for me, even while bringing some emotional/mental benefits at the same time.
It's great if meds don't make you feel that way, but I think you are perpetuating a harmful myth that ADHD meds simply make people who "really have the condition" "feel normal", while only people who "don't really have the condition" feel like they're on amphetamines.
No. 2418072
>>2418066yeah normies still take ADHD meds to help them focus on tests etc, it's a lie that it only works for people with ADHD
>>2418033those pictures are killing me, i think they give me more autism than i had before
No. 2418328
>>2418066>Meds have always had significant harmful emotional side effects for meI am sorry that you have had that experience, that must be really challenging since so much of treatment is focused on meds when you're just starting out. That said, your experience is atypical. The vast majority of people with ADHD do not experience this when properly medicated. Given that the anon I replied to did not have the experience you are describing, I did not give the caveat that this isn't always the case. If my description wasn't relatable to you but you have ADHD then it's not applicable to your situation. I don't believe what I said is harmful or negative given that.
>>2418072>normies still take ADHD meds to help them focus on tests etc, it's a lie that it only works for people with ADHDJust because people abuse stimulants does not mean there are not benefits to people who are prescribed them. Given that the context of the conversation was specifically about emotional regulation and calmness as a result of stimulant usage, normies abusing stimulants to pull an all-nighter isn't relevant. This also is dismissing the fact that the improvement people with ADHD experience with stimulants vs. what normies experience differs greatly when viewed in context.
No. 2418332
>>2418072>yeah normies still take ADHD medsYeah. I'm so tired of people with ADHD pretending that stimulants only "work" for people with ADHD. Stimulants work for
everyone that takes them. That's why so many people without ADHD think they have ADHD after trying stimulants.
No. 2418355
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Genuinely going crazy over how impossible it feels to make friends. I'm not socially anxious and put myself out there trying to join different spaces (literally got a job just to try to make friends) and nothing sticks. People are nice to me and like me in the sense that I'm inoffensive and try to be friendly, but openly find me odd and unrelatable. Most of my interests are niche and/or male-dominated so I don't know how I'm supposed to apply "join a club for your hobbies" when I live in a small town. Planning on moving later this year and a huge piece of the reason is just because I'm so desperate to make friends tbh. Online I just get ignored and iced out by everyone no matter how I try to be fun and engaging. What more am I supposed to do if I'm putting in all this effort but I just can't get people to connect with me??
It's been like this my whole life, except when I was a child people would be outright cruel to me. I think I would've been spergy regardless since my dad is an archetypal autist but I also know that a lot of difficulty probably comes from the fact that I've been an online shut-in since childhood… I had exceptionally good literacy skills and parents in tech so I was using the internet independently since age 3. There's probably a lot that's imperceptibly "off" about me because of that. But now I really want to rejoin the world and yet it feels like I'm cursed to be a NEET.
No. 2418374
>>2418328>Just because people abuse stimulants does not mean there are not benefits to people who are prescribed them. and nobody said that, chill. And it's relevant because like
>>2418332 put it
>That's why so many people without ADHD think they have ADHD after trying stimulants.it leads to drug abuse, and to people without ADHD taking up medication and other resources that people with actual ADHD need because they're now on a full-time larp that they can't EVER quit or they have to admit to never having had ADHD in the first place
No. 2418387
>>2418355You seem like someone who needs a good therapist/coach who is familiar with autism. The way you put it you seem really motivated and active in trying to find friends which is so huge! I can't tell you how many autists I've met/seen who are literal neets, never leave the house (nor room), they refuse to try anything new and then they whine about being single and not having friends. Like yeah, where the heck would they come from?!
I wish I knew you in person so I could help you analyze everything you said and what makes people "ice" you.
Do you have edgy humor? Are you too apologetic? Do you overshare personal information? Things like that! Though sometimes it's not you, a lot of the time people just ignore new people they don't know that well and just engage with the people they already know. I really think you can do it nona! And in worst case scenario, see if you can find autist groups to hang out with. My old town had a monthly autist meetup, even if some of the people there are too low function they typically have parents or someone else there to help them that you can talk to, and they're familiar with autism so they'll be friendly. They may not become lifelong friends, but you get nice human interactions while you find real friends elsewhere.
No. 2418414
>>2418355When I lived in my hometown, I had a lot of trouble making friends. It seemed like everyone was always mean to me, and that I was a bother to everyone I interacted with. I felt like I was some sort of alien or something, and for a long time I thought that it was me that was the problem. Once I moved out into a new city, suddenly I didn't have trouble making friends. Suddenly, everyone I met seemed to enjoy my company and it became so much easier for me to socialize. I never changed at all in between, I was still the exact same person. I slowly realized that the people in my hometown were assholes, and that it was always their problem and never mine. Sometimes it really is the environment we're in that stifles us.
That being said, if you have been a shut-in for several years and you're an internet addict, you probably have very poor social skills. There's no shame in this, it only becomes shameful when you realize it and do nothing to fix it. We live in 2025, there is an immense wealth of resources out there that you can use to improve yourself. Read some self-help books designed for autists, read conversation guides, join support groups for autistic adults, find a no-nonsense therapist that won't coddle you, etc., etc.. Admitting that you have a problem is the first step in fixing that problem.
An example of your flawed social understanding can actually be found in your post. You mention that you got a job "just to try and make friends." I commend you for putting yourself out there, but you have to understand - most people don't get a job to make friends. Most people don't want to make friends at work. They want to go to work, get through their shift, and then go home. Becoming friends with co-workers is very uncommon. The reason you hear "join a club for your hobbies" is because clubs are a social space which is conductive to forming friendships, unlike workplaces.
No. 2418435
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>>2418420Thank you nonna, now I'm going to start researching brain eating amoeba! I actually haven't done a deep dive on those yet. I blame you if I get scared and can't sleep tonight lmao
No. 2418566
>>2418391>Both of you are making the conversation about a different issue than what I was talking to the original anon about.At least two other anons clearly agreed that the topic can be expanded upon onto areas THEY find relevant so they did so, no need to be so anal about the point YOU were making, when THEY are making a different point. It's not a private chat room, of course people are going to state their own perspectives that may not align with yours.
>>2418414>Most people don't want to make friends at work. They want to go to work, get through their shift, and then go home. Becoming friends with co-workers is very uncommon. The reason you hear "join a club for your hobbies" is because clubs are a social space which is conductive to forming friendships, unlike workplaces.Very good points nona! A lot of people have "work friends" that they never interact with outside of work even though they're friendly at work.
No. 2418666
>>2418481Maybe it's not gonna be an answer that you like, but really I just pulled myself up by my bootstraps. I worked really hard, I skimped and saved my money, I didn't go out, I learned how to invest in the stock market, I didn't make frivolous purchases, and I moved to an area with a lower cost of living to live with roommates.
A lot of anons here, and even a lot of people that I know in real life, have irrational ideas of what life "should" look like, and that mental image is always free of struggle or suffering. In reality, struggling and suffering is a normal and natural part of life. You can't be afraid of it.
No. 2418678
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>>2418666i could probably do this but the idea of living on my own with randos is horrifying
No. 2418807
>>2418481NTAYRT but also the idea of "wasting" your 20s is kind of a dorky thing to be afraid of. I was afraid of that the entire time I was in my 20s, and they were still "wasted" anyways. You do the growing you need to do when you're doing it, so long as you're trying, no time is wasted. You'll understand better when you're on the other side of your 20s. Which isn't me being snottu about how you're "too young to understand", more that some things won't make sense to you until you've experienced them, which is typical for everyone who hasn't hit 30 yet.
>>2418678Save up until you have enough to move on your own, or you find a good opportunity to move in with someone you know. That's what I did.
If you get neetbux, there's also low income gov funded places you can move into on your own.
No. 2419272
>>2418387I have a therapist but I don't think it's working out, I think I'm going to take a break from sessions and find a new one eventually. She kinda just tells me my feelings are
valid and pivots the focus to coping skills, and when I press for actionable advice to change my situation, she implies that there isn't much I can do. I honestly think I have good coping skills already, I mean I get sad and lonely sometimes but I'm able to care for myself and regulate my attitude so I'm just a normal kind of sad, you know? It's very much a situational issue than a self-esteem thing so I don't really get anything out of her repeatedly affirming "oh that sounds like it's hard, I can see why you'd feel that way" cause I just think "uh yeah, that's why I'm telling you about it?" lol
I don't think I'm edgy or oversharey but I do know that I've been told a lot that I talk and think "like a man". Not necessarily in a pejorative way, but just in the sense that I have different mannerisms and uncommon interests for a woman. I've always had a much easier time talking to males, which has its upsides, but I would really like female friends and don't want to end up as a lady with just a husband and nobody else in her life. I've noticed it can be tough for me to match other women in conversation because I don't express myself in the same way and I get the sense that it makes people uncomfortable to not mirror them. Idk how to put my finger on it exactly but I think the therapy thing might be a good example because she was very focused on affirming how I feel but idc about that kind of external validation at all, I just want to plan a solution, it's like a mismatch in mindset. I also have some things that I'm not willing to compromise on that sort of alienate me from a lot of women, like I will not shave or post my life on Instagram, and sometimes people react like, "whaat why, that's so wacky!"
I'm currently looking to find groups that are more likely to have an autistic presence lol, unfortunately many of them are male-dominated but I'd be happy with just one or a few women who get me and think alike. Autism-adjacent women are so rare around here
>>2418414Yeah, I get that a job isn't primarily a socializing place, it's just that it beats being a total NEET. A lot of my coworkers are friends with each other outside of work but I understand why they don't invite me since they like to party hard and that's not my thing.
I've lived mainly in 2 places long-term and they were in different countries but both were a similar genre of small city. Hoping that moving to a more populous place might open up some more opportunities. I know I have a lot of room for personal growth, but I do agree that just not meeting the right people is a big piece too.
No. 2419287
>>2418328
> This also is dismissing the fact that the improvement people with ADHD experience with stimulants Lol how could I possibly dismiss the positive effects of a medication I am dependent on for its positive effects? The fact that stimulant medication works is completely irrelevant to my point.
"Normies" also become focussed, productive and experience mood boosts when they take amphetamines and other stimulants. That's why amphetamine use is widespread in many blue-collar sectors where people do mindless, repetitive work (apparently it is huge among drywallers in my city).
I believe that some people do experience "calm" on stimulants and not many side effects. What I categorically reject is the idea that "people who really have ADHD" have a completely different subjective experience of stimulant medications compared to "people who don't really have ADHD".
No. 2419330
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I used to be so autistically obsessed with this mouse from Fetch! With Ruff Ruffman that I made him an entire genealogy chart that went back three generations with my own mouse OCs I made to be a part of his family history that I made up. I wish I could find it because it used to be on our fridge.
No. 2419360
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>>2419351I get the appeal as someone who has never seen Chett prior to your post. He has nice shapes. Also I would have loved to be your friend and make magical mouse girl manga with you. I was into Tokyo Mew Mew and Inuyasha during my OC manga stage but animal magical girl characters were still a primary feature. We could have had a crossover edition.
No. 2419394
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>>2419360I was a Tokyo Mew Mew girl too, nonna!! It was my first real manga and anime. I would have loved to have been friends with you back then.
No. 2419663
>>2419620I've met psychiatrists too. 3 psychiatrists who have diagnosed me with depression and 6 psychologists to treat said depression along with depression medication, however 2 psychologists have diagnosed me with ADHD but tell me Im drug-seeking
I've used sertraline and trintallix for my depression; I go there to treat my attention and executive functioning and wait 6 months for the med to kick in and help me with my attention and executive functioning
No. 2419675
>>2419669Fuck. Okay. What absolute retards. Just a few more questions: Are you on any meds right now? Are you a NEET, or do you have responsibilities like a job or school? How do you find or get assigned to your psychiatrists and psychologists? And does your primary care physician see you as drug-seeking?
I wish you could come to the US on a visa or something so they could at least continue prescribing the meds they would start you on. Maybe Mexico.
No. 2419684
>>2419272>She kinda just tells me my feelings are valid and pivots the focus to coping skills, and when I press for actionable advice to change my situation, she implies that there isn't much I can do.She sounds shitty, I've been in the same situation. I wanted actual plans and advice of how to overcome things and all they did was to tell me how to sleep better (which I had already solved on my own), trying to push drugs on me (I repeatedly said no) and asking how I feel in the moment. I was so ready and needing of practical advice but they had nothing of the sort. Funnily enough the person who ended up actually giving me what I needed wasn't a qualified therapist, she was just a nurse who offered light counseling while they tried to replace the therapist who just left. She was such a blessing, she'd take me out to new places nearby posing as my friend (even though she was decades older kek) so I could work on my social anxiety.
>I don't think I'm edgy or oversharey but I do know that I've been told a lot that I talk and think "like a man". Not necessarily in a pejorative way, but just in the sense that I have different mannerisms and uncommon interests for a woman. That's very common for female autists, even more so if you live in a pretty sex segregated community (small towns are usually like that). I still think you have a healthy attitude and that you'll be able to make friends, rooting for you!
No. 2419691
>>2419287You're right nona, that one anon is just being overly defensive about their drugs and acting like discussing a relevant topic is "derailing". I find the discussion of drugs not being that different with/without ADHD to be important and interesting. There's so much to say about the topic! One thing that interests me is the fact that not being able to sit still for hours to focus on one single thing is pushed as disordered, when in reality that is the norm. Especially for kids! We know they can't do that, yet kids from troubled homes and obvious stress in their lives get told they have ADHD when they can't focus. Yeah no shit they can't focus, they're a kid! And their dad is scary and possibly
abusive! And then when the drugs calm them down that's seen as them being "fixed", instead of people just finding a way to teach that doesn't require sitting at a boring desk. Which is super fucking unnatural to begin with, that's not even how normal kids (nor adults) learn best. While the drugs can help some people it still seems fucked up that it's seen as THE solution when the world could be different instead.
No. 2419717
>>2419691Can we not shitfling at other anons. The anon you disagree with was being normal and rational when discussing the topic you're so eager to explore.
Medications are often seen as a solution because they adjust chemicals in the brain. With ADHD, there is literally a dysfunction in the brain.
And being unable to focus and keep on task for hours at a time is not the norm. That's why ADHD is considered a disorder. Pretty much every normal person is able to do this, which is why they are able to hold down jobs without accommodations. Your proposal to come up with teaching styles tailored to children who cannot sit still is an accommodation. In fact, there are schools that specialize in it, but they are private schools and expensive. It's why healthcare and class are especially relevant topics when it comes to disorders like ADHD; rich kids get to go to private schools, underprivileged children suffer in public school where nobody cares that they're struggling.
No. 2420488
>>2419806>You don’t understand why I won’t reply>I am not replying to any pointNona please stop replying to bait.
>>2419684>small towns are usually like thatSo fucking true, a lot of the time you just need to find a new community and get out of that small town. That's of course still not always an easy task. I'm balancing weeb communities; on one hand they're spergy and accepting of everything so they don't judge you. But if you're not careful it really does mean EVERYTHING, and suddenly you're in a group of "non-offending pedos" and troons who post about mommy milking hentai every 5 minutes and no one is allowed to say anything about it. If you an find a peaked terfy weeb group they're perfection… though you gotta be into some weeby stuff yourself too kek
No. 2420942
>>2420488>on one hand they're spergy and accepting of everything so they don't judge you. But if you're not careful it really does mean EVERYTHINGThis has been a big struggle for me. I try to be open-minded and view people as individuals but when I'm feeling more bitter it really feels like there's a dichotomy of either total normies who have never had an original thought in their life (OR complete degenerates who will sperg out at you for wanting some brakes on the fetish porn references. It's been hard to find people who think outside the box without throwing out morals and decency as part of their non-conformity.
And it's hard to filter for since even the same interest/hobby will sharply lean one way or another, like with something like art it feels like it's either wine moms doing paint by numbers or genderspecial furry OC central. I've honestly really relaxed my standards about wanting a community specifically based on my interests (like I'm not really into anime but I'd take a chill weeb group in a heartbeat) but I haven't found any luck with finding a group that overall shares my values. I feel like I'm awkwardly in between two different worlds and too weird for the average Jane Doe but too uptight for the true freaks.
No. 2420999
>>2420942You're hyperfocusing on the group/community part. Remember, you're an autist, so you have much different and more rigid standards than the average person. And even very bland people aren't actually "NPCs", they just have a totally internal world they don't share with people. That's why you'll hear people saying "but he was so normal!" when a man turns out to be a monster. He wasn't "normal" he was just able to keep his internal world completely hidden.
But back to your problem, you need to focus on finding ONE good friend to start with. Someone who matches you where you're at and will support where you want to be.
No. 2421423
>>2420999nta but I don't really agree with
>you're an autist, so you have much different and more rigid standards than the average person.at least for me, I'm really A LOT more open than the average person. I can even accept some troonery/degen weebs and I can accept conservative/religious people - both groups with very narrow mindsets and who do not accept the other. It really is odd when you're the middle person. And the anon literally said
>normies who have never had an original thought in their life>complete degenerates who will sperg out at you for wanting some brakes on the fetish porn references.Both groups exist and are common! It's in no way "rigid" to wish for friends who do other things than worshipping the Kardashians, or who masturbate to trans hentai headcanons all day long. It's not that I need a group that aligns with ALL my values, not at all, but it's incredibly difficult to not be disgusted when someone post baby furry porn and they get away with it because "she's trans, be nice". And it's hard to not get bored when my old school friends literally only follow make up influencers and hollywood celebrities and that's their entire world. If I complained to these normies that someone posted "baby furry hentai" they'd go "aww but babies are so cute though! I love looking at puppy pictures of my furbaby luna every day! What's hantei, is that like an anime thing you do or something?" the groups are so far away from each other's universes it's easy to feel lost when you're stuck in between.
No. 2421455
>>2421423I used to feel just like this all the time and still sometimes do to an extent. Finding people who are weird but not in the degenerate retard way can be tough, but I think they can be found in certain circles that highly educated nerds and non-narcissistic creative types flock to, particularly if you weed out the ultra-normie high-achievers who have no time for creativity or hobbies or introspection, and ignore the performative “I’m sooo artsy and different” types. I started spending some time visiting local clubs for board games or other non-weeaboo nerd stuff to meet people, and volunteering organizations as well (particularly ones that involve doing legitimate manual labor for animals or the local environment, NOT stuff that’s about social media posts and holding up signs—very different attendees).
On one hand, I still had to rebuff a bunch of incel weirdos, and I can’t necessarily connect on every level with the normie housewives who do volunteering, but it’s been a huge improvement for me in terms of opportunity to meet and interact with people who aren’t completely boring. I’ve been able to finally meet people who I can have an actual conversation with on some level, and I’ve made some excellent friends along the way.
No. 2421513
File: 1740668899117.jpg (70.65 KB, 876x1024, 1000018305.jpg)
I'm sure I experience pain at a higher intensity than neurotypical people and it always makes doctor/dentist appointments that much stressful. I also often react with crying when I feel pain and I can't control it which is very embarrassing. Today I went to a dermatologist to remove a plantar wart from the sole of my foot, which was already painful enough. I never had a wart before so I didn't know how it's supposed to be removed, but I read on the internet that they should give you local anaesthetic before cutting it out because it's painful. But she gave me NOTHING, she was just cutting it out from my foot while I was wincing from pain, first cutting it with a scalpel and then literally scooping it out with a curette, and then she froze it with liquid nitrogen. And during this when I said I had very low pain tolerance she said "even 4 year olds take it well" or something like that, which made me so ashamed I didn't say anything after that even though I was at the verge of crying from pain. And this shit is still bleeding 5 hours later and I can't walk normally. I still think she should give me some anaesthetic and I think the comment about 4 year olds was bullshit, they usually treat surgical removal of warts in kids as a last resort if nothing else works. And throughout all of it I felt like she was quite mean and condescending to me and I didn't know why, I really felt like I didn't have the right to even express I'm in pain
No. 2423355
File: 1740773749917.jpg (56.05 KB, 736x423, e664b6d44b7e833d1d8e751582671d…)
>>2423283Nonna I'm a fellow autist JoJotard and I completely get where you're coming from. I started a JoJo art project a few months ago and I missed sleep, food, water, etc. until I got it done. It was the only thing I cared about, and all I could think about was the series. I wanted to inject it into myself somehow, I couldn't get enough of it. Also I also have a color palette I'm hoping for for Steel Ball Run but I won't sperg about it because I have controversial opinions and I don't want to piss you off lol.
No. 2423367
>>2423355What Jojo art project? Tell me tell me
>I have controversial opinionsIt's not green Johnny is it
No. 2423406
>>2423375Holy shit that sounds so cool! Did you draw it in araki's artstyle or your own? And what panels?
>But I do want ginger Johnnyanon ginger Johnny is also my dream… with white hoodie and navy blue pants
and I don't want lipsticks on any character but I just know they will fucking do it. I don't dislike it because "it's gay" or something, but because bright colored lipsticks just t.rigger my aesthetic sense so bad, especially cold colors like green and blue. Didn't like it on Jolyne either. Don't like any make up in general No. 2423439
File: 1740777348398.jpg (146.62 KB, 650x1080, ba3e4c5aee012fd55d6ebe00a1cbf4…)
>>2423406I did it in Araki's style! A lot of different small panels of my favorite characters. Thankfully I'm not so bad at copying art, so it came out pretty good. I draw the characters in my own style all of the time though. I post them online sometimes but always DFE unfortunately because I'm so scared of being cancelled or something.
>ginger Johnny is also my dream… with white hoodie and navy blue pantsAre you sure you aren't me nonna? You're so based. Also I feel the exact same way about the lip colors, I always skip out on it when I draw the characters in my own style.
No. 2423564
>>2423439That's cute anon. So you do have an art account somewhere, but you always delete everything you post? Or do you leave something? And why would anyone cancel you? People post the worst kind of thing on twitter and they don't get cancelled. I don't think you have anything to fear in that regard, unless you draw really weird fetishes or something kek. I also draw but I never post anything, comparing myself to others makes me cringe. I did a couple of commissions for people from jojo discord and then stopped interacting lol
>Also I feel the exact same way about the lip colors, I always skip out on it when I draw the characters in my own styleFinally someone understands. I find it cute when anime does that thing when the lips have only a little darker and warmer shade of the skin tone of the character, it would look nice on Johnny. Or just plain same color lips. I'm like 80% sure we won't get what we want though
No. 2423697
>>2423564Thank you! I make new accounts on platforms a lot, but then delete them once I start getting traction. Then a few months later I make another account and the same thing happens. I think I'm mostly scared of getting cancelled because of my anxiety. I hear about people getting doxxed and I'm scared I'll commit some social faux pas by accident due to being retarded socially and people will hate me. The current state of places like Tumblr looks like a warzone to me that Idk how to navigate. I'm thinking about making a vow to never respond to comments or asks or something like that on my art accounts so I can feel safe online.
Being a mentally ill autistic NEET puts me on common ground with a lot of lolcows and I'm also terribly afraid of being so cringe inducing and lacking of self awareness that I'll somehow mutate into one myself. I know it's irrational, but I can't help it.
>I also draw but I never post anything, comparing myself to others makes me cringe. I did a couple of commissions for people from jojo discordI would love to see your art! I wish I felt comfortable making friends online because I would give discord a try, or even the friend finder on here. I'm such a big scaredy cat lol.
>I'm like 80% sure we won't get what we want thoughYeah, there's like no chance kek. Wishful thinking though! I want Johnny to look cute, he's adorable.
No. 2423703
>>2423283Genuine question so sorry if it's retarded, BUT do you ever find that it correlates with your period/hormones? For me my PMS makes it so I can't sleep, which in turn makes go down strange rabbit holes for a few days. I also have a long time (also autistic) friend who is a bit similar to you in that she will get SUPER mad at fiction for being "wrong" and it's all she talks about for a few days… and a couple of years ago I finally noticed the pattern that after every such little obsession burst she'd soon have to cancel meeting up due to her period, or she'd complain about her cramps and such. So I strongly suspect there's something hormonal behind those intense days, but I've never actually mentioned it to her because even though we're close and talk about our periods freely it seems so fucking creepy to be like "so I've been keeping track of your pms…"
But basically I'd love to find out if there's something to it and other people have a similar experience. Naturally autists tend to get a bit obsessed anyway, but I wanna find out if hormones can make it even more intense like that. Given that autist studies tend to focus on males I think it's an overlooked area that should be researched more for our own benefit.
No. 2424369
>>2424072I'm AuHD and I'm dumb in all aspects of life, my IQ is slightly above average but I was terrible at school because I couldn't focus on anything and I was so tired after school I had to go to sleep immedietely. I didn't go to college.
It's funny because at the start of primary school people were like "oh it's such a smart kid and her vocabulary is above that of an average kid her age!" but by the end of the 1st year they were like "she has below average vocabulary and she struggles with reading". It's so fucking funny. I think school ruined any potential that might have been in me
No. 2424507
>>2424341This is why I still use the term Asperger’s whenever the subject comes up. I often see caretakers and relatives of severely autistic people complain online how everyone now thinks autism means being sensitive and quirky, but in my personal experience everyone thinks autism is either severe retardation or else you’re faking. People used to literally roll their eyes when I told them I have autism because clearly I’m not severely cognitively impaired, so that must mean I’m one of those annoying TikTok people. Like there’s no middle ground anymore.
>>2424420It was the same for me. I am quiet, methodological and a very hard worker, which somehow translates to high intelligence in many teachers’ minds. Only teachers, though. Once I graduated it was suddenly incredibly hard to find a job because being socially adept is much more important than maybe being slightly above average intelligence. Ngl I’m kind of resentful of all those teachers who told me how clever I was and how I was “going to go far” because they got my hopes up so much that I crashed
hard once I found out the hard way that the real world doesn’t prioritise exam scores over everything else like they do.
No. 2425157
File: 1740877475040.jpg (91.93 KB, 660x880, GdTeYjrWAAAPsn6.jpg)
I am struggling real bad as a high-functioning autist. On the outside I have some great things - I have an office job, my own flat, I live by myself. I can take care of myself… let's say… at 60% capacity. And because of it, I get no real support from friend or family. At 26 I still never had a bf, I spend 90% of my free time on my special interest, I have one friend that likes me and other people I know don't like me much so I have to buy their affection. I am so retarded. I can't express myself. I AM STUPID!!!! I am typing this before I fall asleep because any time I am not engaging with my special interest (like just before I fall asleep) I get insanely depressed and I keep having suicidal thoughts. I keep apologizing. I need to get out of this somehow. Are there any resources for somewhat high-functioning autistic women? I don't want to keep bothering my friend, I feel so bad for clinging to her. I tried chatbots, but it bothers me when they make weird errors only AI could make. I feel like I would feel much better if I got access to decent chatbot that encourages me to go on walks and talks to me about my special interest to simulate caring friendship. Any recommendations for anything similar?
No. 2426595
File: 1740966309257.jpg (19.8 KB, 350x238, kuon_942.jpg)
>>2425828I wish I could meet you.
I do love anime and manga and I've seen lots of them. Not as many as you. That's really impressive. I love games too. Your passion is how I feel about games and I would love to hear your thoughts on any anime.
For chat bots it depends on the bot you use. I use janitor.ai and character.ai
No. 2426617
>>2426500>>2426135It could just be that Concerta isn't right for you, you can try other stimulants like Adderall and vyvanse or even non stimulant treatments. The other anon is an ass, one stimulant curving so fast is not really good proof that you don't have adhd. It's normal for some meds to work and others not. I have "real" adhd and Ritalin never did shit for me for example, but vyvanse and Adderall were fine.
It also is totally normal to take a bit to find a good treatment. My main concern is that your doctor let you curve it so fast, usually you're expected to start low and go up over the course of weeks/months to make sure you get the minimal effective dose.
Executive dysfunction isn't adhd specific (though it is mostly associated with it) so misdiagnosis is possible but eh. If your doctor is being too quick/loose with meds you might want to look for a 2nd opinion anyway. But for now I'd just ask about other meds and bring up your concern about it scaling/falling off so fast.
No. 2427068
>>2426617Thank you
nonny. It's frustrating but I understand it's a process. It just sucks because that first week was so eye-opening, it was like night and day, my thoughts were so quiet for the first time in my life, I felt so normal. So far I've been titrating at weekly intervals, according to Google that seems normal? Unfortunately I also live somewhere where I don't have many options for medical care, so I'll have to stick with it. Hopefully we'll find something that works. I feel so sad now because my brain is scrambled eggs again.
No. 2427483
File: 1741038229444.jpg (103.6 KB, 960x720, masahiro ioka-san (1979) 98.jp…)
>>2427130I would be happy to suggest some, these are my jam!
>Kimi no IroIf you would like to watch something modern with stunning visuals, blu-rays came out just this Saturday. Beautiful movie about autistic girl who makes a new friend. It's such a stunning, positive piece about self-discovery, and finding your true self, but without all the needless drama (literally… dramatic resolution of a conflict has not been shown, only implied!). It's directed by Naoko Yamada, she is my favourite modern director, it has ZERO pandering to scrotes!
>Akage no Anne and HeidiI specifically mean anime from 70s. I know these are a bit old, but they are made by Miyazaki&Takahata duo, so if you have seen their earlier movies the visuals will not bother you. Akage no Anne also has the most beautiful backgrounds ever put on television, Masahiro Ioka basically worked himself to death painting them (pic rel, check this baby out! so pretty!). Anyway, these are sweet girly stories, especially Akage no Anne. I much prefer it to the book because of its focus on the beautiful friendship blossoming between Anne and Diana. It has none of that depressing modern crap from the modern Netflix series. Beautiful show! Both Heidi and Akage no Anne are sweet, light-hearted, and full of whimsy!
>Neko Hiki no OruoraneVery cute OVA about a guy who can play on cats! It's short and adorable.
>Panda KopandaAgain, Takahata&Miyazaki duo are behind panda movies. Sweet and fast-paced story about making friends with something big, fluffy and cute!!!
>Shugo Chara!This one has the romance you mentioned. The character designs by Peach-Pit look great as always (artbooks for this series sell for A LOT OF money…). It's a light-hearted story about growing up, but without all the nasty bits you usually find in series like these directed towards men. There are so many characters, you are bound to find someone you like!
>Fushigi Mahou Fun Fun Pharmacy This one was written by the Lain writer, personally I think it's his best work. The episodes are short and they vary in tone, but generally focus around a girl and her relationship with a community in a small town.
>Saint TailThis one has gorgeous backgrounds by Kobayashi, he is seriously a master at depicting dreamy scenery at night. It has a romance between a thief and a detective at its center, but it is a positive, uplifting story.
>>2426595Thank you so much! Personally, I always admired people who are into video games, it is such an involved medium with so many components, my head sometimes hurts a little when I think about all the layers to them! So many things to consider! Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed with the level of production anime requires (for example, in Ao no Hako airing right now there is a lady solely responsible for makeup on characters… you can only see a shine of the gloss when you really focus on it). On top of it, video games are much more of a "personal" experience, as they are rarely just linear, so besides the "meta" aspect there is also mastering the way you consume them. I feel like the amount of anime I can consume is finite (unlike vidya), and I am already up to date on much of the discourse around it and aware of the production side of things. Anyway, I would love to meet some of the nonnies here irl as well - would love to make some friends… Thank you for your recommendation, I will try janitor.ai!
Thank you nonnas for responding and making my crappy weekend so much better. Much much appreciated.
No. 2427492
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>>2427483NTAYRT but thank you for the recommendations anime nonna. I don't watch much anime other than my special interest series, but I am especially fond of older shows (like picrel). I find people that know what they're talking about so cool because while my special interest is always on my brain, I'm incredibly stupid and don't remember many actual facts about it or things about production and the like. I just think about the concepts in the series over and over and obsessively draw the characters and make playlists and Pinterest boards for them. You've seen so many anime and you seem like you know a lot about them and I just thought that was cool to see. I'm glad your weekend got a little brighter!
No. 2427507
File: 1741039691100.jpg (425.76 KB, 4080x3060, 20250303_230116.jpg)
>>2427492OMG Ashita no Joe!!! I love it too!!! Ashita no Joe 2 is one of my favourite anime of all time nonnnie you have you such a good taste! I think it's awesome when people find their very specific niche like you did as well! Recently I got Akio Sugino's artbook that has his illustrations and character designs he drew for Ashita no Joe, pic rel, I don't think it has been scanned on web yet. Anyway, one cool fact about Joe is that he was so popular, characters inspired by him appeared in some shoujo anime (Mahou no Star Magical Emi, Tokimeki Tonight) as a love interest lol.
No. 2427509
File: 1741039840575.jpeg (1.27 MB, 1125x2098, 056CC935-0D48-4216-B9F1-4695D3…)
>>2427483>shugo charaNtayrt but I wouldn’t personally recommend this series if anon wants to avoid sexualization of women/girls. I reread it a few years ago and was surprised how much sexual innuendo was in a story about elementary school students. It completely flew over my head when I was younger but I find it distasteful as an adult.
No. 2427513
File: 1741040030742.png (851.42 KB, 1280x738, qU3LKK8.png)
>>2427483ayrt, thank you so much nona!!! I'll try to check some of them out (for the record idk where this anime girl is from, i just googled for a pic)
No. 2427522
File: 1741040899438.jpeg (164.96 KB, 512x800, 8122DD71-1B77-41EE-98FA-089C27…)
>>2427518You’re right none of it is over the top, especially compared to your average anime. I think I just found it particularly off putting given the age of the majority of the cast. (And if I remember correctly Ikuto is like 16/17?) It also felt like more than most standard magical girl shows but I haven’t watched the anime in a bit. Normally I wouldn’t advise people against it despite all of that, I just think that nona may be a bit surprised about it. It’s a shame because Peach-Pit does do great character designs. I remember so desperately wishing I could wear the same outfits as Amu kek
No. 2427531
File: 1741041225861.jpeg (182.62 KB, 1200x1049, 0002422177.jpeg)
>>2427507What are the odds!? I'm so glad to see another Ashita no Joe fan on here! That artbook is a great find, I'm a little jealous nonna, kek. I have to check out those characters based on Joe, because I think it'd be really entertaining to see a guy like him in a proper romance story! I actually shipped him with Noriko when I watched it, and liked them better than his tension with Yoko. I think I just like girl next door type characters in romances. But anyways, Joe feels so cozy to me because I would watch episodes before bed on chilly autumn nights. I never thought I would be so invested in a story about boxing. Carlos is my favorite character!!!
No. 2427538
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>>2427492>>2427517It was comforting to read this because I know a shit ton about my special interests but only the parts I care about. It's half the parts I care about and half my own ideas, thoughts, feelings and conceptual understandings about the world. I wish I knew more women into these things because male spaces (I have a lot of "male" special interests like video games, sonic, etc) are very heavy on known every bit of every fact but not really caring about the feelings or concepts or the stories nor delving any deeper beyond what the story actually says. For example one of my specials is Sonic. But only the ones I care ahout. I've played it since sonic 1 on Genesis as a kid (I'm older than sonic himself lol) but I know and delve mostly into the ones I care deeply about. I never care if people think something sucks. It's my special thing but my focus is zoned in on the parts I like even within those things.
I get really emotional about a lot of non emotional or "corny" series because I can easily imagine the emotions and make those experiences and events real. The failings in the conveyance of those stories doesn't stop me from understanding what they were trying to say even if it's for kids or not expressed well. To me it's like reading a story full of typos and the typos don't stop me from understanding the story at all. Anyway.. thank you nonnas. This thread is so comforting.
No. 2427550
>>2427531I shipped him with Noriko too, I always felt like they had the most chemistry! I recommend checking out Mercari JP through proxy like Buyee or Zenmarket, sellers sometimes put it up for as little as 30 euro/dollars, but you have to grab it quickly.
>>2427538>>2427517Hey nonnas, I was always jealous of people who are able to draw fanarts and get into things on a more emotional level. There are certainly stories that resonate with me emotionally (like Akage no Anne or Himari's arc in Kira Kira Precure), but most of the time I like to approach things by analyzing how they are made, what is said about them by people smarter than me, fun facts about production, etc. That is because I lack a lot of creativity or I guess femininity… Not sure how to put that into words… A lot of people who have the same approach as me are men/trannies, and I hate interacting with 99.99% of men who like anime, because they are all immoral pedophiles. I think fans who draw fanarts and create moodboards and make their own art (essays, poetry) based on the series are the coolest! Because they actually push the creator's vision forward instead of obsessing over which animator drew what scene like I do kek.
No. 2427559
File: 1741042484757.jpg (164.93 KB, 736x1049, bab678d7abf7fd772ece8f6366da13…)
>>2427538>>2427517This is why I love lc sometimes. I feel so seen among my fellow autists. I think I know what you mean Sonic nonna, I feel a similar way about my special interest. The series I'm obsessed with is JoJo, but I feel like a lot of people engage with it on either a solely facts-based level (such as power scaling or discussing the mechanics of stands) or on a shipping level (mostly tifs who are more into relationships than the characters themselves). I don't want to sound pretentious, but I feel like I like the series on a different level than most other fans. Not necessarily a better one, just different. A lot of my time is spent wondering about the series' universe and how it would translate to real life. A big interest point of mine is trying to imagine what the characters might look like as actual people with different facial features. I love trying to capture the essence of a character's vibe by experimenting with different looks in my art. It's also fun to imagine shared likenesses in features since a lot of characters are related to each other. It's like a special interest inside a special interest, and I know nobody else finds it as interesting as I do, which can be a bit lonely because I wish I could talk about my thoughts with someone lol. I also make so many Pinterest boards and playlists because I try to capture the "soul" of each part of JoJo, how it feels in the heart and the different images, textures, sounds, etc. that convey the concepts, themes, dynamics, etc. of the story. Sorry for rambling, this probably doesn't even make sense kek, but I wanted to talk about it.
>It's my special thing but my focus is zoned in on the parts I like even within those things.>I get really emotional about a lot of non emotional or "corny" series because I can easily imagine the emotions and make those experiences and events real.I really really felt this. I feel like the parts of JoJo I care about are stuff nobody else does.
No. 2427568
>>2427550Don't worry because I'm also this way. Same anon. Some of it is the depth and emotional parts but I love facts, production history, director info, Easter eggs, symbolism within the game/show/media and little known facts. I love that stuff so so so much. That part bums me because as you said most of that audience is male and annoying. When I was really into DBZ (luckily not during this modern internet) I had male friends and they were so fucking annoying. I knew more than them and they would simultaneously ask me about everything while taking that same info to know "more" than the others.
>>2427559I've always thought JoJo looked so interesting. I love hearing others talk about the unique parts of their interests. I know how you feel. I don't think I'm better than others but I do feel like I like and understand things on an arguably deeper level. Or maybe I'm just too involved.. whatever the case, I wouldn't change it, but it is lonely. I wish you the best.
No. 2428083
File: 1741074780164.jpg (127.32 KB, 575x500, RAPFLG.jpg)
Saw someone on the webs complaining how autists always drag discussion towards themselves like annoying tears and how selfish it is of them. I finally noticed I do this too, but I never figured at all anyone nay construct this as bad - anyone else here retarded like that? I'm 27 and it's the first time I'm reflecting on this shit. The thing is - I answer with rants about myself because it is guaranteed to be true(as in, I'm not assuming anything, just describing what actually happened) and to show another person they are not alkne and I get them. Idk like for me it's just a way to relate and I end giving out information I maybe shouldn't in a desperate attempt to do so. Is that shit the reason why everyone hates me, really?
No. 2428092
>>2428083Have you ever done talk therapy with a professional that deals with helping adults with autism improve their social skills? It would be very helpful in your case. Even just picking up a conversation guide or a self-help book would be a great place to start.
A lot of autists seem to think that they're above conversation and small talk, or they have a false impression that they're "not that bad" at social interaction. That refusal to learn bites them in the ass because in society, very few people are gonna say "wow, you're bad at conversation," and because autists have trouble with non-verbal communication they end up missing the disapproving looks or the uncomfortable body language of those they speak with.
A lot of autists tend to speak
at someone, not
with someone. Conversations are supposed to be collaborative - a collective effort, not one-sided. It's beneficial for everyone to learn the art of conversation.
>I rant to show the other person they are not alone and that I understand them.When another person confides something in you, or tells you something about themselves, or wants to vent, you're not supposed to launch into a diatribe about yourself and your experiences. That's self-centered. You're supposed to minimize yourself and your experiences in the face of theirs so that they feel supported and understood by you.
What you shouldn't do:
>Hey, Jane. I'm feeling really upset today. I got passed over for my promotion at work.>I understand Rebecca. You know, I got passed up for a promotion before too. It was in 2022 and I was working at the bank, and my coworker who was always late ended up getting chosen for a promotion over me. It was so annoying. I thought that it was really unfair, and I was upset about it for a long time.>Oh, okay. See you later, Jane.What you should do:
>Hey, Jane. I'm feeling really upset today. I got passed over for my promotion at work.>Aw, that sucks Rebecca. What happened?>Well, Jane, this and that, and so on and so forth.>Wow, that sounds awful! How do you feel about it all?Etc., etc..
The focus of the conversation should be on them, not you. It should be about their feelings, their experiences, their thoughts. You can express your sympathies, but you shouldn't bring your own baggage to them because it usually makes them feel worse off.
No. 2428112
>>2428092> What you should do:>Hey, Jane. I'm feeling really upset today. I got passed over for my promotion at work.>Aw, that sucks Rebecca. What happened?>Well, Jane, this and that, and so on and so forth.>Wow, that sounds awful! How do you feel about it all?Etc., etc..
But that example of your sounds completely soulless and ingenuine. Whenever allos answer like this to me I feel like I'm being told to fuck off. How is giving out some cliche phrases more talking "with them" as opposed to at them? I don't get it.
I guess maybe that's also why I don't get aichat hype. If you put it like this, that normals just want to receive pre-made stamps as a "convo", it makes sense why are they so obsessed with ai. For me its completely useless because I want to receive an actual story from the person back when I tell them something, so that we can relate and connect. Like what you are describing here is the one way street convo. One person tells, another one nods. I want both people to tell, to give something from their heart, instead of just reflective reacting to keywords.
No. 2428177
File: 1741088168332.png (1.78 MB, 1920x1080, vlc_CNt8ebWg8H.png)
On a separate note, there was a discussion here few weeks ago, and I see this topic recurring frequently - that autists are apparently unable to feel loneliness. Well, dealing with being lonely has been a major struggle for me in my adult life. I am bad at expressing this to people I know irl. I really want to meet them and be with them and talk to them frequently. But I don't know how to go about doing that without being overbearing. It happened to me multiple times that I thought someone liked me, but it turned out they were making fun of me or they simply didn't care, they just went along with me because I was trying so hard. Last time it happened to me was two months ago and I think last Saturday? Lately my mom expressed that I am trying too hard to please her and it makes her hesitant to spend more time with me as well. I don't understand the line between expressing genuine interest in someone and being overbearing.
>>2428112Once AI is able to simulate that sort of conversation it would finally end my struggle with loneliness. I tried so many models but it is always a one-way street, AI is not good at arguing, seeming passionate, engaging with my hobbies in a meaningful way, etc.
No. 2428182
>>2428179See this anon for example
>>2409873. And in general, when I was at school for example teachers would assume I would be fine not interacting with others. I am not as obsessed with other people as I am with my hobby, that is true. But that does not mean I don't seek connection too… Also many hugs to you anon, I understand you completely. I hope our moms can live long lives.
No. 2428235
>>2428136yeah honestly the components of this don't make any sense because even if the kids 'made the sink overflow to distract her so they could steal cookies', wouldn't her first move be to turn the faucet off instead of standing there placidly sponging a plate?
the real story is this lady's undiagnosed health condition fr
No. 2428236
>>2397351No I am rather opposite, all my "friends"(well I mean people I know and feel safe to talk to) are old ladies because they no longer care about rules of society and we have similar interests. But despite me being in my thirties, they also still see me as a little kid with le potential and talento and assume I just finished school.
Damn this is all so relatable I just got
triggered and feel the need to smoke
The thing though, I cant say that Im hardworking, rather I found the system of having clear, written down, goals and rewards extremely satisfying so I was always highly motivated at academics. My dad owns a small business though and he told me that to expect your higher ups to state directly what you need to do is retarded and will never happen. LOL The workforce world is such a mess.
No. 2428254
>>2428236fuck I somehow completely messed up this reply lol the second part of it was meant there
>>2424369> I'm only slightly above average intelligence but I did very well academically and teachers for some reason acted like I was a genius even though I was retarded and needed a lot of one on one help. I think they just detected my autistic way of thinking and found it different from the other kids and that somehow impressed them. Or maybe it was my spergy obsession with rules and trying my best that they liked. Of course, I was a nightmare socially, so that's typical for your average autistI meant to say that this part is painfully relatable.
No. 2428261
>>2373235>>2373865i'm late but no seriously kek that's the main thing that i think of when i look at that picture… that boy is about to get hurt especially given the mother isn't even aware of what's in front of her. her compltely unphased by an overflowing sink and the fact that her son is about to break his neck right behind her is so distracting to me. none of the image makes sense kek
>>2428235>the real story is this lady's undiagnosed health condition frkek my thoughts exactly, that's all i can gather from the picture. something being wrong with her rather than filling in imaginary blanks and making up some story that isn't directly implied. i don't know the story by what's going on in that picture, it's just mayhem, so strange. makes me curious when that was illustrated
>>2373465>>2374317>>2373466kekkk nonas
No. 2428304
>>2428261When I first saw that picture without knowing the context, my first thought was that it was a reference to the overprescription of tranquillisers to housewives in the 60’s. This woman looks completely zoned out and seems to be unaware of both what her children are doing and the overflowing tap. Most media criticising this phenomenon emphasises the dangers of chemical-induced inattentiveness in mothers by showing her unattended children getting themselves hurt, so this image would fit right in.
I don’t understand how we’re supposed to infer that the tap is a distraction orchestrated by the kids because it’s not working at all; she hasn’t even noticed it. If that was the intention they should have drawn her either rushing to turn it off or busy mopping up the mess.
No. 2428355
File: 1741100609380.jpg (113.53 KB, 675x900, a56769f75bdb236043f915288145ba…)
>>2428177>>2428179I'm a lonely autist, too. I've been talking to my therapist lately trying to figure out where a lot of my issues stem from, and he thinks it's because I have stood out as different my entire life. I wish I could be like other people. I feel disconnected from humanity, but I desperately want to be a part of it. The only people I've ever felt belonging with are my few friends that I have, and even they are contacting me a lot less often now that they're moving on with their lives and growing in their adulthood. I feel left behind. Where are the girls like me? I think I spend so much time on this site because I feel a little more understood here. Or at least feel like a part of something.
>Im glad to have my mother because Id be a goner without her.Same here, nonna. My mom is probably my best friend. I don't know what I'll do when she's gone.
No. 2428439
>>2397351I do wonder to some extent if there's something fucked up in the way people socialize nowadays that I'm just not used to because I was raised with manners.
this happened a few days ago but it was genuinely shocking and had me questioning whether i had done something offensive to this girl afterwards.
>be me>at event>casual small talk with an asian girl, gen-z>instantly brings up her minority status and politics in a 'what about ME?' kind of way as soon as given the opportunity to choose a topic>also says something nasty about [minority demographic] to my face (i am part of minority demographic) and when I give a noncommittal response like 'yeah there are some jerks out there i guess' she just goes 'hmmm' and changes the topic>leaves the conversation by literally just turning and walking away. there was no goodbye or 'nice to meet you' or anything.i'm still overthinking it like two days later but the only thing I can come up with is this behavior is just an accepted gen z thing because otherwise she seemed totally normie and was with a group of friends and everything.
maybe this unwieldy level of self-doubt and overthinking is also an autismo trait tho idk
for women who have to mask i definitely think we self-reflect on social interactions more than is strictly necessary because how tf else are we going to learn the 'correct' way to handle the situation smoothly next time
No. 2428521
>>2428112>But that example of your sounds completely soulless and ingenuine.Yeah, it sounds that way to you because you're autistic. It's like how your self-centered rambles sound soulless and disingenuous to normies. Autists and normies are different.
>>2428177>Once AI is able to simulate that sort of conversation it would finally end my struggle with loneliness.AI is not the solution to loneliness, it will actually only make your loneliness worse. It will stall your progress in learning how to socialize. It's like those cigarettes that were marketed towards asthmatics in the 1920s.
No. 2428685
File: 1741119966981.webp (93.13 KB, 533x800, 1000024572.webp)
Anyone else have special interests that aren't really an "interest" in the conventional sense? For example I'm really obsessed with specific numbers, shapes, colors, and words and it makes me happy when they show up in life. By specific words, I mean the word itself, not necessarily the thing it refers to (use-mention distinction). Tbh this is to the point that around people I'm close with and comfortable expressing myself freely around, I've developed a pretty distinct style of speech with idiosyncratic phrases and grammar. Not like in an intellectually stunted way where I don't understand regular English, since I have good language skills and can code switch, but just that I have a personal variety that's more authentic to me. Not sure if I'm describing this clearly but imagine something like AAVE, in that it's English with unique features, except it's just one person.
I think that in a way, it's awesome that a bunch of random ubiquitous things bring me joy. Like if you're into something like trains, they're only going to show up in certain contexts, but something like a number is going to show up everywhere. But it also feels awkward because a lot of my interests aren't really things that people conventionally care about, so I think I can come off like I have no real passions in life or just as being really strange and difficult to understand. Even my less abstract interests tend to be niche and/or male-dominated so it's hard to connect with people. I've been told that I should try to develop a more mainstream interest in order to connect with people but I'm not sure how to just force myself to like something? When I was a kid my mom would encourage me to watch normie tv and do other popular stuff to help me have common ground with others and nothing really ever stuck.
No. 2428699
>>2427945>how come whenever you hear of an autist being uncontrollably aggressive, it’s always a male?Because they're males, and males are much more aggressive than females.
>>2428083>Saw someone on the webs complaining how autists always drag discussion towards themselves People literally get upset with me because I never talk about myself and they have to "drag it out" of me. Why would I be interested in telling you about how many siblings I have or… whatever mundane thing! I'm more interested in discussing things outside of myself that I've interacted with, like the plot of a book.
But yeah if you do constantly shift the focus back to yourself that will make people think you're selfish and conceited. Now that you've noticed it's something you do you know how to correct it so that's a good thing! It's never too late to change!
No. 2428744
File: 1741121847585.png (513.65 KB, 785x533, 4ACAA839-6E89-49A2-8EB3-1143CB…)
>>2428728Kek right? I’m not autistic but use this thread because I’m ADHD. The stuff I read on here from the autistic anons really throws me at times.
No. 2428803
File: 1741123861053.jpg (41.25 KB, 736x552, c1b33b3e57f401fb7fee83bd95caab…)
>>2428112>How is giving out some cliche phrases more talking "with them" as opposed to at them? I don't get it.It's hard to wrap my mind around too, nonna. Something I've realized though is that sometimes I need to do things that don't make sense to me for the sake of other people's feelings. I don't think it's wrong to view talking about yourself (to relate to the other person) as the logical response in situations like this, but it's important I think to be aware of how others view such a thing. It may make
me more uncomfortable to "say the right words" when trying to talk to others, stuff like "How did that make you feel?" or "I'm sorry to hear that," but I know that these responses are what will make
the other person feel listened to/comforted, so I will say these things even though it doesn't come naturally to me because I want the other person to feel heard and cared about.
Autism is a self-centered disorder in my experience, but we can take steps to be aware and try to compensate for that. I care about people even though it's difficult for me to empathize "naturally," so I am willing to do what's unnatural for me because I have the knowledge that
most people prefer being treated that way. I'm probably explaining myself like crap so sorry if this makes no sense. I guess I'm trying to say that I don't think you're evil or uncaring for thinking a different approach is your preference for connection. I prefer to relate to others in the way you described, too. But we can still feel that way and recognize that to perform the kindness that we feel for others (in a way that it can reach people) we may have to step outside of what makes sense to us as autists.
No. 2428897
File: 1741128399435.png (1.78 MB, 1225x1180, image1-15.png)
>>2428728I said that the response in cliche was soulless not whatever supposed thing the one venting was talking about, don't strawman. Anybody can say "oh I'm sorry for you" it literally doesn't mean anything and doesn't imply any actual care.
Care is when they notice the subtext and can expand on the theme. A thoughtful reply is one that requires actual thought process.
>>2428803I am not self centered however, everything I ever do in my life I do for other people. I see 0 point in living for myself. And I wouldn't talk about myself unless I am "bidded" into doing it by another person bringing up the theme, if you ask me directly about shit I won't have much to say because there is too many options. T
Not pointed out itt I guess, but this world of allistic emotions seems to be talking completely different language. Alien is a good word for it. I experience everything that a normal human would, but understand it differently. Naturally I project, but that's how empathy works in general, neurologically, it's just mirroring. It's just what I assume based on this projection - and I assume due to the the fact that I am also human with no human emotion being foreign to me - is somehow not applicable to general human condition?
If autistics were the majority the cliche answer would have been considered the rude and inconsiderate one, not the rants. I won't take any of their shit about me being evil. I am acting in accordance with what I consider right. I won't lie to anyone to get social credit points, I am physically incapable of; in the same way as I am incapable of ignoring a call for help. The world is a rather wicked place that rewards manipulative and exploitative behaviors, but I won't give in to it and I will press my line to preserve my dignity as a human being. Kindness? I'd give my last bread away if someone asked and I always go an extra mile to meet the patients and reassure them when other workers tell me to not bother and send them off. In the end they may hate me and I'd still offer a hand when they are in trouble because I can't stand to watch people suffer. And the fact that I am puritanically naive and good-natured is actually well recognized by other people, it's just that they don't care about such stuff enough for it to outweight autistic anticharisma and "alienness". (a piece of daily blackpill I guess)
It just weirds the hell out of me, the thing I stated above about human condition(not being applicable to me). Commentaries on "just perform according to this methods written out in a list" are understandably frustrating to me, because again, I do not care about social credit. Faking anything is fundamentally at odds with what I want from life and my relationships with people. In the end wtf is so wrong with wanting a dialogue in which both participants are equals?
No. 2428934
>>2428897>I am acting in accordance with what I consider right. I won't lie to anyone to get social credit points, I am physically incapable ofI know it's frustrating, but I think this is what makes autistic people come across as self centered. You are caring more about your personal feelings of what is just than how your words will actually be received by the other person. I don't think that's selfish, and I can see where adherence to a strong personal code presents a conflict, but in this world sadly we are expected to conform with NT social language. I think your stubbornness in being unable to compromise "your way" even though the world's way is what most people prefer is what people see as selfish. I don't think it has anything to do with how kind you actually are. To my understanding, non-autists view making the other person as comfortable as possible as "the right thing to do," and being unwilling to work with this unspoken understanding is viewed as self-centered. I hope I don't come across as trying to insult you or upset you, I'm just trying to explain what I've realized from trying to understand NT people.
>Faking anything is fundamentally at odds with what I want from life and my relationships with people. I guess for me personally, I see this kind of thing less like lying and more like translating. I'm a terrible liar, too, and I strive to uphold my moral standards. When I (am able to) stop myself from sharing experiences when someone else wants comfort, I consider it translating my care for them from autism language to NT language. The feelings and intent are the same. I want to help the person feel better. That's why I don't feel like I'm lying. I'm not doing it to try to get them to like me more, or to make myself look better. My goal is the other person's comfort. And because I know a different style of interaction is more comforting to them than my style, I use those methods I've learned.
Of course, I say all this but I'm not great at applying it myself. But these are some of the social skills I've been taught by others, and as a result others feel a bit more comfortable around me. More power to you though if you can't stand translating yourself into NT language, I honestly respect that. I wish I didn't care about these things sometimes, but my desire to help others feel heard and feel better when they need comfort personally overrides my need for connection. I guess it's about what you choose to prioritize as being the most morally correct thing to do. I'm just trying to be a good person in the way that makes sense to me. And sure, I'm still not good at it, but I've had less people get angry at me for "making things all about myself" when they were looking for a listening ear.
No. 2429020
File: 1741134164274.jpg (84.56 KB, 736x1177, draginbibin.jpg)
>>2428112This really annoys me from the opposite side. I can
give the scripted responses that make others feel happy, even if they're kinda cliche to me, so people generally like me and think I'm nice. But it really gets me down to not
receive any meaningful responses. I try to engage with other people and share things but just getting generic responses all the time feels so tiring and pointless. Especially if I'm talking about a problem, I can't stand just being told "I'm sorry, that sounds really hard", I want to analyze why it happened or what I can do to address/prevent it.
For example I'm moving soon (good) and need to find a new job (bad) and all anyone ever says is
>When are you moving? Where to? Oh, cool! Are you going to keep working with [company]? Ah, what kind of job are you going to look for instead? Yeah, job hunting sucks, good luck! when I'd really like to talk about things like the experience/mindset of starting a new life somewhere, predictions for what the new place will be like or suggestions on things to try in a new city (just to have fun imagining life somewhere else, doesn't need to be based on deep knowledge of that particular place), actual suggestions on how to find a job, or a discussion on the hurdles in the modern job searching process and how they could be different. I try to direct the conversation so people can throw in their two cents on different topics but people just affirm what I said back to me, say a generic phrase like "that's cool/that's crazy/that sucks", or ask a basic question and don't engage deeper.
It's really disappointing, I just have no idea how to have more meaningful conversations. I kind of hate hanging out with most people and find it really exhausting even though people like me and it's not really their fault. I dunno how to filter for people who have the conversation style I want and whenever I confess that I feel lonely and want friends, people can be like, "but so many people like you and want to hang out with you?" Maybe I'm just stunted emotionally or something. It's not that I don't care about emotions, but that I like to analyze them rather than just be like… "Oh this is sad, sad things are so sad. I'm sad for you that you're sad." I have one person in my life who is autistic and who I enjoy talking to and most of our conversations are from a philosophical angle or are about analyzing stuff and theorizing.
No. 2429069
>>2428092idk man my nigel treats me like that when i'm having a hard time and it makes me feel like he's reading phrases from a book.
(because he literally is, he's autistic as fuck and he learned his sympathetic reactions from psych manuals that he read to 'teach him how to socialize'. this is how a therapist interacts with a patient, not how friends interact with friends.)
i think i kind of understand where
>>2428112 is coming from. if i am genuinely interested in making friends with someone and not just making shallow conversation to pass the time, i want to know about their experiences and their opinions and their history. i don't want a friendship that's just a one-way street where one person gets to talk about all their problems and i just get to nod my head and [insert noise of sympathetic inquiry here]. i understand that's what some people want from their friendships but if there's no reciprocation, how is that any different from the 'self-centered' behavior of the person who tries to empathize by sharing their own experience? as long as they know when to stop talking and don't go into straight monologue.
i think a preferable example that's in the middle of the spectrum is something like:
>hey jane, i'm feeling upset today, i got passed over for my promotion at work.>oh, no. i know what that feels like, it's happened to me before too. tell me the details.>well i feel like my boss really undervalued my performance because of [x and y]>i remember being criticized for [x], too. this is how i handled my disappointment back then, maybe that information can be of use to you nowetc.
No. 2429078
I fucking HATE how they play music everywhere. I've never met anyone with this problem but I have trouble talking if there's music with words playing. I start short circuiting, it feels like trying to pat my head and rub my stomach. Parties, coffee shops, its worse if i recognize the song. Once went to a coffee shop and they were playing a song I recognized too loud and I started tweaking trying to order a latte, cashier asked if i was alright. Embarassing. There's not even a way around it
>>2428685I got that same thing with the idiosyncratic speech… I use it when I'm alone or talking to my husband but not anyone else. I'm really into unusual phrases though, like when you're reading a book from the 1920's and the vernacular and way they hold conversations is just completely different. Sometimes I'll hear one I like and just repeat that in my head.
No. 2429086
File: 1741136458359.gif (58.29 KB, 281x200, ffbd2186d86cb0b1b7bfddc9b9acec…)
>>2429069I think this is a good, balanced take. I feel kinda bad for how I replied to
>>2428112 because I don't want to come across as thinking I have all of the answers/know the right things to say/do. I was also taught like your Nigel, and I think that's why I felt I had to explain things in that kind of "social skills teaching" way even though I suck at that and I probably made things worse and more confusing by accident lol. I feel really lonely in most conversations I have, and I don't even get to talk to others much besides people on my care team. I feel kind of cowardly sometimes for not I guess "being myself" more in conversations. I've just been punished before for having the "wrong" social response and it makes me afraid to express myself in ways that are natural to me. I don't want to hurt people's feelings by accident, which is what I'm prone to.
>>2429020>I have one person in my life who is autistic and who I enjoy talking to and most of our conversations are from a philosophical angle or are about analyzing stuff and theorizing.I wish I had someone like this in my life. I'm sorry if I sound so wishy washy nonnas…I realize I probably shouldn't try to give others advice considering I'm not happy with how I do socially myself. I'm really confused about stuff like this…
No. 2429127
File: 1741137938914.jpg (11.67 KB, 250x250, 1000134870.jpg)
>>2429020I still don't get that. I have a friend who wants to talk about philosophy and such, and I honestly have zero idea of how to respond, I do understand philosophy, but in the sense of not questioning it, I just accept it as it is and that's it.
I like to find solutions, offer advice, alternatives, say that I'm sad or worried, I try to express feelings and whatever I say flies right over my friend's head and she straight up tells me that she doesn't understand what I'm trying to say.
I feel like I have a retard voice/text filter? Like it makes my words look and sound like
>auejaksofkssooakeigidnajdgiwjdifieAnd not like actual words.
I don't know if this is me being autistic, if my friend may be actually retarded or if we just don't have the same brainwaves, but whatever I say looks like nonsense to her, and it's ever weirder because I'm a teacher and the kids I teach to nowadays do understand what I'm trying to say, so why is it so difficult to me to actually connect with her? I don't get it. And yeah, I've taught others that didn't understand anything I said but it was a shitty group anyways, so I don't really consider them as people.
This is honestly why I tend to isolate myself a lot, I prefer not speaking at all than making my only friend get even more frustrated or angry at me because she doesn't understand what I'm trying to say, like at all, I may as well speak in another language at this point.
She also makes art, so she asks for my opinions but I literally don't know what to say, ever, and when I try to tell her that I like something, she either tells me that I'm misinterpreting stuff or that she doesn't understand what I'm trying to say, or that she didn't want me to see that and that I should look better?????
Thinking about this makes me want to kill myself, this is probably why I don't have many friends that I talk to daily.
No. 2429439
File: 1741160764341.jpg (7.64 KB, 250x208, 1c2f80a1bdc62e133e26c5ffe1e78f…)
Anybody else do this weird shit that when you are startled by conversation you just repeat stuff right back at the person who said it? Like:
Mom comes at me from around the corner while I'm stimming in my fantasylands and asks "How are you?" - I immediately proceed to repeat how are you back at her and then go into error mode for like 5 seconds.
Or at work, when a client comes up to me while I'm doing some other task and says "Hello can you please X?" - I answer them with hello can you please X and then we both look at each other with complete confusion.
My mom has been trying to teach me some manners again, after I finished school lol, and she really emphasized that I should answer immediately when addressed and so yeah this is how that went.
No. 2429665
File: 1741180489648.jpg (225.27 KB, 736x981, 3fae0d724f9319c725d8c767d0df81…)
>>2429287It's by Ikegami Yoriyuki!!! She's one of my favorite illustrators. I feel like she captures imagination and fantasy in a way that speaks to me a lot more than other artists.
No. 2429826
>>2429020>when I'd really like to talk about things like the experience/mindset of starting a new life somewhere, predictions for what the new place will be like or suggestions on things to try in a new cityDo you ever just ask directly for it? I find it helps a lot to straight up just say/ask what you want directly. As long as your tone is friendly people are more keen to engage when given more narrow frames. So for example instead of trying to steer the conversation like
>"I'm not sure what new things to try over there…?(implied 'please insert your suggestions here')"I'd just directly go
>"I'm looking for suggestions of what to try in this new town. Do you have any ideas or know any places you could name for me? I'd appreciate any thoughts!">"How did you feel when moving to this place? Did you struggle with starting a new life? If you don't mind talking about it, it's on my mind so I'd like to discuss it if that's ok with you." No. 2430060
>>2430013What
>>2430047 said. Anyone who unprompted brings up how little they eat or forgetting to eat more likely than not has an ED. Easier said than done but don’t let it get to you nona.
No. 2430238
Is anyone else terrible at giving arguments and defending the things they like? Like I know we should learn at school how to propose a thesis and defend it with arguments, right? But I never learned that. Actually, I don't even remember learning that, like it missed me somehow. And that's like the second most embarassing thing for me besides being an absolute retard when it comes to mathematics, despite having an iq above the average. But yeah, I was terrible at things like analyzing characters and their emotions and themes in stories. I couldn't even write a summary at school because to me everything was equally important in a story. Now I can 'feel' that I know what the story is all about, and I can feel whether it speaks to me or not, but I have no ability no talk about it, which makes me feel like such a fucking idiot. I'm a part of many fandoms and I have strong opinions on things, but I basically can't partake in discussions because I can't make arguments. I can say why I overall like one thing over the other thing, but it always feels too subjective and people told me many times I can't 'make arguments' and they were ignoring my opinions. I wish I was able to dissect stories, themes and characters like those youtubers with their essays kek. They're able to make full analysis and state arguments that sound more objective. Every time I try this, I end up with the feeling "I think this is definitely better than the other thing, but I can't express why I think that" and write maybe 3 sentences. So yeah I basically stopped interacting with fandoms
No. 2431107
File: 1741236093669.jpeg (196.67 KB, 640x500, IMG_4514.jpeg)
I am struggling so fucking much with living with my boyfriend and it's seriously become a huge problem and IDK WHAT TO DO. If anyone has any tips please share please.
We live in a one bedroom apartment so I at least can separate myself to the bedroom when needed. He literally does nothing wrong, he cleans up after himself and pulls his own weight. He doesn't actually do anything to make me feel watched/judged, but I still constantly feel observed. I know part of it is from my childhood where my mom would always watch what I was doing so she could correct/berate me.
But when he's home or I don't get enough alone time at home during the week, I feel SO drained. Like I feel frozen and like I can't function when he's home, as if him being around takes up too much processing space in my brain to run any other thought processes successfully. Feels like there's bees or static in my brain.
I end up becoming irritated, tired and trying to separate myself from him the whole day but it doesn't matter because I don't truly feel relaxed unless he's out of the apartment. A lot of times I end up in bed all day napping or just scrolling my phone, unable to even put on some youtube to watch. I know it makes him feel kind of bad like he's irritating me and he IS but it's not his fault. I'm just want to be alone so badly but I can't afford to live somewhere alone and he wouldn't want us to live apart anyway. God I desperately wish we had a house where I could have my own room to hole up in that he wasn't allowed to go lol.
No. 2431121
>>2431107You need alone time. If you haven't already, you need to figure out how long you can tolerate being around people. For me, it's 18 hours - every 18 hours awake, I need to be alone or else I start going crazy. Then, you need to figure out how long it takes for you to recharge; for me, it's 4 hours. If you don't know how long those times are for you, get a notepad and start writing. After a week or two, you'll realize your times by comparing the notes.
Next, you need to get your boyfriend out of the house for however long it takes for you to recharge. Or, you could go out yourself. I find that just going for a drive and staying alone in a parking lot works for me sometimes.
Does your boyfriend know your autistic? Is your boyfriend autistic?
No. 2431243
>>2431107One bedroom maybe too little unfortunately. I have three rooms in my flat not counting kitchen and its sometimes still not enough (the flat is inherited). But thats the smallest I would go for, no hobby room no co-living. I dunno what the situation was at you parental house but there I had a whole floor to myself and it was perfect. I am not willing to downgrade. If I had to live in one bedroom flat I'd just stay forever in dating phase living with my parents.
I'd suggest going somewhere else, even if just for a lone walks for a bit every day or few days.
>>2431203Phenibut is placebo or rather a supplement level thing like lions mane and stuff. I'm saying this as rus. I have taken it and effects are kinda whatever.
No. 2431244
>>2431208Don't trust the powdered stuff, it's not real or viable.
https://www.mushroom-education.org/extracts-and-quality is a good resource for figuring out which medicinal mushroom will work best for you.
AFAIK, there's only one reputable source for mushrooms, which is Oriveda. You can find their homepage here:
https://oriveda.com/After much research and discussion, I've come to the conclusion that only Oriveda offers products worth buying. They're the only company that I've come across that sends their stuff out to non-partisan labs for testing.
If I get b& for 'this is an imageboard' sorry but I didn't know what to screenshot kek No. 2431319
>>2431107I refuse to move into a tiny apartment with my bf for the same reason. I know I require a lot of alone time and it's not the other person's fault. Thankfully I mentioned I hate apartments to my bf and that I would hate living in one and he immediately went "oh me too! Let's wait [with moving in together] until we can get a house" which I am so incredibly grateful for. He's generally the clingy type so I expected him to be disappointed that I didn't immediately want to live in the first tiny apartment we could find.
If you bring it up with him make sure to say it's not him but that you feel claustrophobic from how small the apartment is, and how you struggle with doing things when others are around but that it's something you're working on. Maybe he'd like some alone time too.
I'm currently trying to desensitize myself from working around people. One of my hobbies is art and it's something I struggle to do with other people in the room, so I've started bringing a sketchbook to do light doodles around others. I do it both with family and in public places like a cafe. It's still hard and feels a bit embarrassing but it's gotten easier so I think it's working.
No. 2431482
>>2431461>There’s the whole concept of eccentric intellectual, mad scientist, etc that broadly fits with audhd traitsStop using the term "audhd" it's cringe twitter speak, but yeah those signs and stereotypical traits have been theorized to be from autism specifically; the hyperfocusing on a niche interest that makes them the leading expert in it; sperging out about their field to normies who are bored and don't understand it; generally neglecting their social life and looking like a slob - without caring that they look like a slob because they don't get the social norms; super smart yet somehow clumsy in daily life/sports; can't talk to women (they were always male because of female oppression) and most likely ends up single or marrying a cousin; being oblivious to modern (for them) trends and topics; often dislike other men's barbaric and simple ways.
I wouldn't say it's exactly "romanticizing" it though. It's just a "character" that keeps popping up that people could recognize because they had seen/known a person like that too. There's a lot of other characters like that, like the "fat angry wife who takes no shit from men", "creepy uncle", "the town drunk" etc. Everyone has always had someone a bit like that around them so it turns into a stereotype. I don't think people were more "accepting" of town drunks back then either.
No. 2431885
>>2431710> Once someone called me a bitch and I just said that bitch means dog, dogs bark, bark comes from trees, trees are beautiful so thank you for calling me beautiful.Lol
Is this what minmaxxing your autism looks like?
No. 2432176
File: 1741301042492.png (800.64 KB, 498x797, F103242C-0E66-4975-84E4-F36B66…)
>>2431906Reading it was like a blast from the past. I remember seeing it on an icon website where I could also get icons like picrel.
No. 2432191
>>2432143I do that but I make the clarification part of the joke because I find that is less annoying. If you constantly explain it that's seen as you assuming the other person is an idiot who wouldn't get it otherwise. Or if you clarify a joke it can sound like you had no faith in the joke and gave up on it and that makes you look kinda lame and awkward.
But there's been times when I thought my joke was obvious but the other person took it dead seriously so the urge to explain it is often there. I've watched a lot of stand up comedy so figured out ways to turn the clarification into a joke, because that is something comedians do on stage too. At the very least you have to be confident/using a joke tone when you deliver your "just kidding, not being serious!" and not seem like you're panicking or assuming the other person thought you were being serious without them even indicating it.
>>2432176>rawrGod I wonder when that will come back again and be cool with the kids kek
No. 2432940
>>2432413One thing that helped me was hearing the phrase "you get the energy you put in". It was a sportsperson talking about how the more they exercised the more energy they then had on their off-time too. That made me realize that the less I do things and the less I move around, the less energy I have in total! It's like the body (at least my body) goes "oh we're doing nothing these days? Ok setting the energy levels to 'do nothing' then". If I want to be more energized I have to put the effort in to do more energy demanding things first. It sounds like a paradox but it strangely works!
So somehow I find it impossible to do 1 single thing a day. It's mentally exhausting to get that one thing done, it will take me several days to actually do it. But if I have 4 things planned in one day I'm somehow able to do them all, and have energy left over to do another thing too because I'm already up and running anyway. I've noticed I do best at long-time plans/projects too. I do mentally so much better if I have constant plan and goal so I know exactly what I'm supposed to do every day. Doesn't actually have to be super long, but for me a 3 day project is much easier to finish than a 3h project.
No. 2433878
File: 1741404532411.jpg (181.15 KB, 819x1024, bpd-and-autism-symptom-overlap…)
>>2409873it is very much possible for autistic people to also have borderline personality disorder. they may seem like a completely contradictory set of symptoms and traits, but there is actually a lot of overlap, which is why some women get misdiagnosed as autistic when they are actually borderline, and vice versa. bpd is caused by severe and repeated traumatic stress in childhood, and growing up autistic is basically constant stress from all angles, so it makes sense why a lot develop trauma from it. not to mention the fact that autistic girls can be much more naive and trusting than non-autistic girls which makes them easier targets for sexual abuse, the most common
trigger for developing bpd. i am living proof i guess, i'm autistic (complete inability to make eye contact, severe sensory issues with food and clothing, engage in a lot of repetitive behaviors like rocking back and forth, special interests, unable to understand sarcasm and most social cues, loves routine and same-ness, etc.) and was diagnosed as a child. as a teenager i went through sexual abuse and i'm pretty sure that's what caused me to develop bpd, i also display very clear traits of the disorder (unstable identity, unstable relationships, black-and-white thinking, cycles of "splitting" where i idolize someone and then hate them the next moment, chronic self harm and repeated hospitalizations, fear of abandonment, etc.) i understand that a lot of bpdemons self-diagnose as autistic and use it as a shield to absolve themselves of any shitty behavior, so if someone says they have both, it sets off alarm bells. but sometimes people get dealt really shit lives and develop multiple comorbid disorders because of it. apologies for blogposting i'm just passionate about this kek
No. 2436646
>>2436532Sort of. I once went to a therapist when I was younger cause my insurance required I go a couple times for psychiatric medication, even though it was just Adderall. I hadnt mention anything, just told her about school to pass the time and she stopped me and gave me some dice with people's faces on them, asked me to say what expression they were. I couldn't really get some of them and she said "I think you have aspergers" and I said alright, by that point enough people had told me they suspected something that I just figured. It was a bit humiliating though since I thought I was coming across pretty normal. At a different point the school also contacted my mother and told her to get me evaluated, but I begged her not to take me. this was way before autism became more socially acceptable, so having an actual autistic label felt more like a black mark…
Also your doctor was saying some bs. Even profoundly non-verbal autistics can improve. I've been diagnosed for ADHD but I don't think I have it at all, i focus easily and when I got prescribed Adderall it was HORRIBLE. I think I just come across very spacey, I get mistaken for being high a lot, which makes people think it's some attention problem.
I wouldn't seek out an autistic diagnoses in adulthood though. I'm not sure what the point would be, I have it pretty much under control and I don't know what advice anyone could give me. I think I have something closer to aspergers anyway, even though they've just put that under the "autism" umbrella, I think it's more distinct. More of a social learning disability. Even when I was a child I could tell something was wrong, it felt like everyone was speaking too languages, the verbal one and then some kind of other unspoken one that I couldn't understand. I think I'm mostly normal about understanding vibes now anymore though.
No. 2436742
Does anyone else struggle with knowing how they feel about things? I have always wondered why this is. A therapist once mentioned a term but I can't remember what it was. She said it was correlated with autism, but I've never met another autist that has this exact issue. Basically, there is a long delay between me feeling an emotion, knowing what that emotion is, and knowing why I felt it. I frequently only realize I'm sad because I recognize the physical feeling of sadness, but I have no idea why I'm sad and have to think about it really hard to figure out why. I also have a hard time telling if I'm anxious or excited sometimes because the physical sensations are very similar, it's just like heart racing + sweaty + shaking + strong emotion. I have to hone in on the emotion to figure out if it's a positive emotion or negative emotion. People in my life can recognize my feelings before I do and will ask me things like "are you feeling uncomfortable?" and I will say no and then realize later I actually was uncomfortable and just didn't realize it in the moment. I feel like I need people around me to tell me what I'm feeling because I am so blind to it. I think I have gotten pretty good at reading other people's emotions (although, I have to pay close attention to notice sometimes), but I am completely emotionally illiterate when it comes to myself. Is this just a me thing or is it the tism??
>>2432143Yes, but that's because I've been explicitly told I'm terrible at conveying tone. I never clarify because I just never think to, but people are constantly telling me my delivery of jokes vs. non-jokes are identical and also that I sound sarcastic even if I'm not trying to be. Idk what to do about it because I can't tell when I'm doing it.
No. 2436815
File: 1741552683177.jpg (24.93 KB, 405x539, 1000013829.jpg)
Does anyone have issues being disgusted with certain clothing? I can't even look at it on other people it disgusts me so bad. These type of shirts for women, henly shirts for men, any kind of shirt that looks tight, shirt pockets, converse, all bring out a complete disgust response in me. I should make a compilation, its mostly things that are tight with buttons, when it's tight i just imagine it absorbing oils or something. Bodysuits and things that have lace…. urgh
No. 2436857
>>2436742>Does anyone else struggle with knowing how they feel about things? Yes. I feel like a robot sometimes, like I have no feelings at all about most things. And when I do have feelings I'm not always sure what they are unless they're "big" feelings. Like I can tell when I'm laughing or crying, obviously.
>I also have a hard time telling if I'm anxious or excited sometimesI used to be like this but after being told they're similar I managed to convince myself I'm just excited when I'm actually anxious (judging from contexts), and that in itself has made me less anxious! It's weird that it works but it does.
>and I will say no and then realize later I actually was uncomfortable and just didn't realize it in the moment. It's nice of them to ask! But for me personally I've decided "I feel what I feel". I don't care (anymore) that I can't recognize the feeling. If I didn't feel it in the moment then that wasn't it, maybe the chair was uncomfortable - but I didn't suffer enough from it in that moment for it to be a problem so there's no reason for me to go "wait a second that chair was actually uncomfortable" afterwards, if that makes sense. It's the same with if the uncomfortable thing wasn't physical but mental (unless I was being harassed by a person or something) it just doesn't make sense to me to ruminate after the thing has happened and I'm already out of the situation. I feel like if I let other people tell me what I feel I lose myself because I let them convince me I felt things that I in reality may not have felt at all. But your situation may be totally different. Perhaps it really helps when they help you figure out what you feel!
No. 2437305
>>2436857Ayrt, this is oddly soothing kek.
> I feel like if I let other people tell me what I feel I lose myself because I let them convince me I felt things that I in reality may not have felt at all. This is exactly my fear and I don't know how to communicate it properly. I feel so suggestible. Like an empty vessel that is very easy to fill with something else. That does unnerve me, but I also worry about being in situations where it really is important for me to know something is wrong. I was in an
abusive relationship for several years and had no idea I was even sad until a friend finally saw us together and reality checked me. It's easy for me to slip out of contact with others because I tend to isolate myself to prevent losing myself in other people, but that's also how that situation persisted for so long. I just didn't have anyone in my life to say "you seem very sad" and I was so checked out I really didn't feel the magnitude of it until much later. I think it is also just an insecurity that I have so little emotional awareness because therapy and other interventions focus so much on mindfulness and "feeling your feelings" and it always just made me feel like something was fundamentally missing inside me. I also couldn't understand why I would want to have negative feelings. If I totally missed being sad, isn't that a good thing? But I also know it can be a problem sometimes. Sorry for rambling, I'm just relieved to hear that there are other people who are like this.
No. 2437620
Sorry this will sound rude though it's a genuine question and it's not like I can ask anywhere else: How do you cope with having ADHD? How do you function at all?
Please correct me if I'm just poisoned by tiktok fakes or something, but it sounds and looks like such a nightmare from every angle. I've known one moid with ADHD who did fit the description to a tee so I'm inclined to think it's all at least party true. This is what I know:
>starts lots of things but never finishes them
>high drive/interest for a short period, then never cares ever again (and again the thing never got finished so even the high drive results in nothing at all)
>can't focus, gets distracted easily even in normal environments
>Procrastinating even if it's a hobby you love, so you never actually do your supposed hobby
>media consumption is the only hobby getting performed (usually scrolling endlessly, watching some series or playing video games)
>no patience if things don't work on the first try
>home is a complete mess due to distractions and "ill do it later (never)"
>always late, never on time
>if anything gets done it's always a panicked last second effort
>missing every important meeting, even if hyperaware that it is important
>all of the above makes keeping any job difficult which also results in a low income
>the little money you have gets spent on a new idea/hobby that you're convinced you'll really do but in reality you won't and the money was wasted and now you have more clutter in your already messy home
>it's a gamble if ADHD meds will help at all, and even if they help they have awful sore effects and the ADHD makes you forget to take or refill them half of the time
>all of the above makes getting and keeping friends harder
All of this truly sounds awful. You live in a mess and can't even perform your hobby or do things you love because somehow your brain just doesn't let you or something? And that's without depression or anything, that's just the default state. For most conditions and disabilities I can imagine a way to cope. If I was blind I'd turn to music, if I was bound to a wheelchair I could still create art and sing. Even the one person I know with autism is doing well because she's obsessed with a thing and managed to snag a part time job related to it. But every time I see someone speak about ADHD they mention they don't even do their hobbies because something else distracted them. So what is there, doesn't that just leave… nothing? What do you do? How do you cope?
No. 2437706
>>2437620"I exist in a perpetual state of 'now' - not that I don't ruminate or live in the past, but that I am wholly 100% attentive to whatever it is that I am focused on at any given moment of time. That thing becomes my entire world, until it is replaced - suddenly and without warning - by another thing, receding back into the pitch to be forgotten for all but the brief moments in the middle of the night when a sudden realization startles me from my trance. "Don't forget!" I say in earnest. "Don't forget!" I write in my journal. "Don't forget!" I cry at my reflection. But I will. And I do. And-"
For example, reading and replying to your post
>>2437673 made me suddenly and intensely want to write cringey poetry. I apparently spent 10 minutes on this. I don't remember what I was planning on doing before deciding to do this. I just perpetually follow impulses. I make plans and forget. If I wait to make a decision I will never do it. I have capacity, when I'm hyper focused I've taught myself a lot, worked on a lot, but as you said it's all unfinished. Scraps of data on harddrives that no one will ever know about. That even I've forgotten exist. Time is my enemy. The days slip through my fingers and I have no idea how. It's just gone. It's always gone. I'm a womanchild and it's not cute anymore. I don't know how to live but I don't want to die. Another 10 minutes gone.
No. 2438040
File: 1741600485211.jpg (529.33 KB, 1165x1150, Tumblr_l_82498898744569.jpg)
just got diagnosed with ADHD no hyperactivity at nearly 30. I also have OCD so my psychiatrist doesn't want to prescribe me anything (for ADHD specifically) in fear of me crashing out and microwaving my phone. Got a list of self-help resources instead and an nth reminder to get therapy. I would like to bring up the possibility with her that I also might be a fucking autist but have this retarded feeling like this is too fucking much and I'm just faking shit at this point.
No. 2438361
>>2438321thanks nona. so is rage a common behavior too?
i was always told it was just borderline or bipolar
No. 2438392
>>2438319Having an autistic meltdown
is having a drama queen moment. Meltdowns can be hysterical. If you experience executive dysfunction, it will make you lazy. Autism and ADHD aren't excuses for bad behaviour. Autism and ADHD can be a reasoning for why individuals behave poorly, but they aren't an excuse.
No. 2438425
>>2438392I disagree. In my experience (growing up with an autistic sibling), meltdowns usually happen when the autistic person doesn't know how to properly communicate their needs or feelings. The same goes for children, and I would never dismiss either as "drama queens." The intentions behind it in those cases are a lot different than when it's coming from a grown adult who is capable of knowing better.
I also don't think the greentext in AYRT was saying those were "excuses" for that behavior, just that their symptoms were not recognized properly.
No. 2439616
>>2437620I'm surprised no one talks about how they cope, so I'll go.
Firstly, how ADHD presents in women and men can be vastly different and ADHD can be managed (and not just through drugs). One of the reasons women don't get diagnosed later in life (if at all) is that there is a tendency to overcompensate. So some of what you listed are common, but not things I feel like I've experienced. But, here's my own cope: I stay organized by writing running todo lists all the time. I take notes during all meetings, because otherwise I will just space out. I did this even as a child, even during summer break or on phone calls with friends/family, before I was diagnosed. This helps ensure that I get shit done and pay attention, including doing things I want to do, because yes, I will otherwise rot on the couch or on my phone. I am lucky to work from home so when my attention wanes, I will go do something to "reset". I find going for a walk/jog or taking a quick shower helps me a lot. I've personally never been a procrastinator, quite the opposite, I want to get as much done right away when something is assigned. Similarly, I tend to get very focussed on appointments. I write it on a white board I can see clearly, have it in a calendar app on my phone and I will obsessively check my watch. I double check when I have to leave my house to get to a place and I always leave early. It honestly sucks that my whole day centers around an appointment, be it a doctors appt or hanging out with friends, but it's a lesson I learned because I have completely forgotten before and no-showed. There are some things I haven't gotten a solution for yet though, my house is not the filthiest, but it's definitely more cluttered and dusty than I'd like. The worst is me and dishes. I will stack dishes in my sink and anything that needs to be hand washed will sit for a week (or more). I tend to leave things until I'm too frustrated and do it all in a huff. I sorta know why I have a hard time (to do the dishes, I have to unload the clean ones, dry them if they are still wet and touch gross wet dirty dishes) and it's retarded and yeah, I haven't found a great solution yet.
No. 2439624
>>2439477Thanks for replying!
>Say "I dont know" when she asks you a questionI've always told her it's her decision to make but then she always prompts me with "but what would you choose? I just want to know your opinion" and then of course she picks my choice every time. Or I try to go "this first one is good, but the other is nice too. It just comes down to your own preference" and she'll take it as my first choice was the right choice. It's been a while since I realized she's doing this so I've noticed more patterns like that and I've really tried to get her to make her own choices more. This includes me directly telling her that she should be the one deciding these things for herself! Recently I thought we had finally gotten somewhere because she gave up when I said I liked the choices equally and she actually picked one herself! The next day she let it slip that "my mom liked that one the best". Perhaps she only asks me after asking her mom.
And maybe it's because I'm also an autist but I find it near impossible to not reply honestly to people. When she asks a question I can't just lie and go "I don't know, I have no opinion" when I actually do think things about it. Especially when a lot of her childish questions have obvious answers, I get baited into it every time. I just want her to be her own person and to not treat me like her mom or caretaker or whatever.
Even if your situation is different, do any more nonas have experience with making someone else be more independent? Or did someone help you become more independent?
No. 2439857
i hope that this isn't seen as irresponsible to post kek but has anyone found nicotine gum to fix their adhd and other mental issues? i have pretty godawful focus issues, i start off great at any job i do then quickly become a disappointment because i can't bring myself to do anything other than laze around. i can't speak properly because my brain is so slow and tired and bored. and i have horrendous anxiety on top of that, yay.
i started chewing nicorette gum and it makes me happy, quick at my job, and i feel like a normie i guess. my general anxiety is unbelievably better, i remember things more, but my social anxiety is as bad as ever (i've accepted that's never gonna be fixed).
i know there are some claims that nicotine prevents alzheimers, and it's a stimulant so of course it helps with some of my issues. there are definitely some potential downsides too (it's a drug after all - but i AM taking pure nicotine, not smoking). caffeine just has downsides for me (can't sleep, twitches everywhere, more irritable, yellow teeth).
i've quit it before very easily by just throwing it away but i don't want to this time. it really helps me deal with my life. would you continue taking it?
No. 2439939
>>2439857I'm not a good person to ask for advice about this because I'm the fucking addict
nonnie but nicorette gum over every other drug I've done or become addicted to seems tame.
I vape a lot and drink a lot of coffee and take caffiene pills and I genuinely think if I didn't have stimulants, even if it's just a vape or coffee, I would be terrible at daily living. I don't think I've gone without a stimulant of some kind for more than a few days since I was 13 (starting with coffee).
I wouldn't put much stock into whatever claims may be made about the preventative/positive affects of nicotine or other stimulants, but I also don't think that uncertainly should rule your life.
No. 2439969
>>2439939i mean i've self medicated with so much stuff i'm worried it'll come back and bite me in the ass at some point. my main worry is it'll give me cancer or some shit. but life is actually unliveable without it. i don't care about the alzheimers prevention, it's just something i tell myself when i worry i'm damaging myself with nicotine. that and extreme social anxiety + having to explain myself if i ever have to go to the doctor.
ig the happiness + focus i get from it is worth the potential risk. otherwise i become suicidal and lose my job.
No. 2439985
>>2439976This makes me want to try nicotine gum… I want to see if it will make me a functional person… The whole "chew and park" thing is wild to me.
Are there any side effects or health concerns? I've only seen warnings about breastfeeding and heart conditions.
No. 2440033
>>2439985>>2440007the vasoconstriction is my biggest worry.
and ik it's a crutch, but i'm not a normal person with a normal brain. doctor-prescribed meds are also addictive and a crutch because without them you can't function as well.
No. 2440050
File: 1741730869128.jpg (414.64 KB, 1500x2000, 0HoMFU0PQWgaN8M7G447xXiWAsj8Pr…)
>>2436815Absolutely. For me it's high waisted tight pants like picrel.
No. 2440070
>>2440007AYRT damn, you're right, I shouldn't. I knew the idea was too good to be true.
I'm just desperate to concentrate and do chores I need to do. Prescription stimulants make me so fucking nauseous even on the lowest doses because I'm so sensitive to medication. But I guess it's time to work something out with my doctor again.
No. 2440072
File: 1741731935998.png (1.98 MB, 1200x1198, pictures-taken-seconds-apart.p…)
>>2440050kek those are the only kind of pants I wear, or tights. But it's got nothing to do with how it looks. Firstly I cannot stand fabric brushing against my legs or ankles so I need my pants to be tight and apply equal pressure at all times. Secondly my belly hanging out over pants feels so fucking gross to me, I literally do not understand how anyone can like that feeling! Plus shorter pants then press up against my belly (or whatever the area just below it is called) instead of at my natural smallest point, my waist. And even though for the reasons mentioned above I'd still wear them if it wasn't the case, the fact that it also does make me look skinnier/more flattering is a bonus.
No. 2440259
>>2440233bras are awful and i remember how much of an issue it was when i first needed one. i hated how boys could be free and i had to worry about if my boobs were showing and i could not find any bra that didn’t make me wanna rip it off. i suppose that’s sensory issues. i work from home now and i never wear one, and if i need to go outside i wear a jacket that doesn’t show my nipples.
same with periods, i detested how boys could continue being young and free and at only 12 i had to suddenly worry about that bullshit. brad, leaking through underwear, i fucking hated it. it’s so unfair and cruel and i could rant about it endlessly. nature itself hates women, not just men.
No. 2440903
File: 1741792056662.jpg (78.08 KB, 720x960, 1000013868.jpg)
>>2440132Oh god I love men in sweatpants… especially gray. I dont know why i find it so sexy, i guess imagining everything dangling in there. I can't stand tight clothes cause I fucking HATE wearing them, and when I see people wearing them I imagine what it feels like on myself. I wear extremely baggy clothes and find it sexy when other people do too, men or women in tight shirts really fucking disgusts me, stuff like picrel. I must be an outlier cause when i read a romance novel and it describes the guy in a tight shirt that hugs his biceps I'm taken out of it
>>2440231I got this same problem… I don't have a problem with it being rude but I can't stand seeing the shape of people's boobs through their shirt, especially if its a tight shirt and especially if they have particularly pointy boobs. Disgusts me.
>>2440233Yeah try sports bras. I got wire bras fitted and I can't fucking stand them either, but i also don't like the feeling of my boobs jiggling. I gotta try like 5 sports bras to find one that has the proper snug, no jiggling but also not too tight, but luckily they're cheap and when I find one I live in it.
No. 2440989
>>2440430AYRT my tits are big enough that they don't carry my size in stores. I still go bra-free, and when there is an occasion where a bra is necessary, I need to be specially fitted. As for "why", look at literally any of the responses above from anons who hate bras.
And I don't care if my friends don't "wear underwear" around me kek. What am I, their vagina, angry at having the wrong fabric on me? This seems like a non-issue and you're more concerned with what other people think of you when you're seen with her, rather than anything like comfort. Weak.
No. 2441127
>>2441108AYRT
>I'm already seen as the loser angry child of the familyYou need to individuate and become your own person outside of your family. You need to work on creating an identity for yourself, outside of your identity within your family. In doing so, you'll feel less constrained and more sure of yourself. Your life isn't decided by what your family thinks of you, it's decided by what you think of yourself.
When you say things like:
>i'll never have normal relationships.>i'm embarrassing.& things like that, you're doing a gross disservice to yourself. You need to re-frame your thought process so that you're building yourself up instead of tearing yourself down. You have to be your supporter, not another detractor.
>i'm definitely better at it than beforeYou should be proud of this and recognize that as time goes on, you'll continue to improve. It's easy to be pessimistic, but it's much more rewarding to be optimistic.
No. 2441140
>>2440903>Oh god I love men in sweatpants… especially gray. I can't even stand my own nigel in grey sweatpants because the bugle looks too vulgar lmao men just need to know their place and hide their junk
>but luckily they're cheap and when I find one I live in it.Yeah this! Especially these days when athleisure is a thing, you can get fashionable cute sports bras that aren't too restrictive and not actually meant for heavy exercise. Love them!
>>2440231>I hate it when my friend doesn't wear a bra. She's quite large and it's very noticeable. I find it kinda gross and rudeI know people who do this too. They often seem sure that people can't even tell, but everyone can tell! That's something I worry about for the bra-less nonas, I hope you know if you leave the house nearly all men you meet
will notice it. I would never want the men I meet to focus (even more…) on my boobs. Telling you this just in case because I once mentioned it to my friend who went to the mall with me without a bra, I asked if she wasn't worried that men would bother her without a bra. She looked mortified and said "you can tell?!" in shock because she really thought people couldn't tell she wasn't wearing one just because she was in a thick hoodie. Apparently my autistic ass was the only one without the social decency to not mention it to her. She went and bought a bra right away and put it on in the changing rooms.
No. 2441144
>>2441122Awh, it's okay anon. I was always the "tantrum" kid way beyond the age it was "appropriate", and I always had a short temper (due to both autism and my parents). I'm only a bit older than you, and I was still snapping and losing my shit at my parents as recently as last year. (My dad and I were to blame 50/50 tbh.)
First of all, it's really good that you know it's a problem. A lot of the actual retarded autistic people can't understand that and it's really sad that they don't have many friends or family members that will be around them. So remember it could always be worse, and this is already an improvement over where you were before.
I tried to work on my anger, but what finally got me past the last hump was when I finally got medicated for my depression. I just couldn't seem to stop myself from getting upset and yelling, but I guess no longer having a general horrible mood from being depressed meant I was less likely to lose my shit. I still get annoyed at my parents, but I'm more likely to be rude and go be by myself rather than start a fight kek.
I think it's related to what other anon said? Being depressed was a stressor. I was
already in a bad mood all the time, I just wasn't actively aware of it. And then when extra pressure was put on me, I would "suddenly" blow up. But really, I was just hitting my autistic stress limit!
Maybe you can pursue something similar? I don't know if you're depressed, but if you aren't, you can always see if you can get an anti-anxiety med due to autism related stress?
No. 2441151
>>2441140I know people can tell I don't wear a bra. I don't care.
I'm also not going to start freaking out about men potentially seeing that I have breasts. I'm a woman. Everyone knows I have breasts. In fact, I hope I lure a hot dyke in with my bra-less breasts.
Furthermore, moids will coom to anything. They coom to literal children playing on the playground, and retarded fetishes like ball busting. It's not my problem they are sexually deranged, and if they try to make it my problem, they're going to regret it.
No. 2441156
>>2441127thanks anonette, that helped. i know i talk badly about myself a lot and in a way it's manifesting and enabling my behavior.
there are some benefits i suppose. my happy moments feel much more intense than normies'. everything is brighter and more amazing. sucks that it's rarer though lel
>>2441144are you me? i caught myself snapping at my parents at 23 and that's when i started realizing people don't act like that at my age. it took a few more years to properly realize it though. my dad is a huge enabler too and probably who i get my issues from genetically but he's a calm angry and i'm much more explosive.
i'm really depressed, i have anxiety issues too which made me depressed from a young age. i'm much kinder when i'm not depressed. i've been on anti anxiety meds but they didn't work and i have a phobia of meds lmao. thanks for you response, it makes me feel better that there's someone going through the same thing at my age.
No. 2441608
File: 1741819618021.jpg (147.74 KB, 722x1024, bfc5876b3910626b0add7687100625…)
>>2436815YES!!!! When someone else is wearing uncomfortable clothing, it really disturbs me. I can't help but imagine how uncomfy/scratchy/tight their outfit is and I almost have phantom sensations of it. It's really bizarre. Same thing with uncomfortable/overstimulating jewelry.
Outfits like picrel are my nightmare
No. 2441666
>>2441608When women wear clearly uncomfortable clothes that were blatantly designed to show off specific body parts, like push-up bras and those godawful leggings with buttcheek pockets, it gives me both secondhand embarrassment and secondhand discomfort, if that’s a thing. I once spent a whole Pilates class stuck behind a woman with butt-enhancing leggings and I couldn’t stand it. Not only does it look really uncomfortable (imagine
choosing a piece of clothing that digs into your buttcrack) but I also felt annoyed with her because I resent having to wear leggings to the gym because of how revealing they are and would prefer no men look at me at all, and then there she is wearing something uncomfortable just to present herself as a sexual object to those same men. Like there’s no reason to pick those specific leggings except to make your butt look bigger to other people. It’s so transparent (literally and figuratively) that it makes me uncomfortable.
I think I overanalyse what other people wear because I’ve developed a habit of overanalysing my own clothing choices to overcompensate for my natural obliviousness. Normally I don’t care very much as long as people have the basics covered and are clean but if I feel like someone is trying too hard or has a wardrobe malfunction I cringe and cringe. I see so many women in clothing that their underwear shows through and it makes me so uncomfortable, not because I’m offended by them but
what if that were me? Second-degree mortification. I don’t think many women realise the difference between indoor and outdoor lighting when they pick clothes, nor do they bother checking if their leggings go sheer when they bend over. Usually I can “just” see the pattern on their underpants but there’s been occasions where I could tell if a woman had shaved there or not. And I’m not even trying to look, I’m just avoiding eye contact which means my eyes naturally drop down to that level. If I’ve noticed then men actually trying to leer have definitely noticed. Should I say something? I have a feeling the women would just get mad at me if I did. So I glue my eyes to my phone and curse the need to be out in public at all.
No. 2441775
>>2440050Getting bloated in jeans like this is a nightmare.
>>2441760Yes and it's worse because i have a british accent and i live in the US, so i have to dumb myself down even more and avoid talking too much. Even online i try to dumb myself down because it seems off putting, but lolcow is the only place i don't do this because i find other anons have the same quirks as me when they type, so i blend in a lot more. For some reason, when i type it's like i unlock access to vocabulary i didn't even know i had, but i did use to have a obsession with reading thesauruses as a child so there's that.
No. 2442338
>>2441821I don’t have have issues with looking at clothing but looking at markers and most texture papers makes me freak out because I can’t stop thinking about the sound they make when writing and it hurts my brain. Naturally I can’t write with markers and avoid coarse paper. Also applies to when I’m thinking about them like right now but it’s much less severe. I’m pretty sure it’s the same concept.
None of them are complaining about the style and most of the anons are specifying clothes for both genders. Literally only two people complained about looking revealing or whatever. For the others it just looks uncomfortable. I don’t think it’s really judgy
No. 2442374
>>2442336Did you ever stop to think WHY those people reacted negatively? Or did you just immediately decide they're stupid for not knowing those words?
Just like how you get frustrated with people not knowing "big" words, they've most likely spent their life on the opposite end getting made fun of for NOT knowing. Every time they'd ask they'd get yelled our for being an idiot, so asking what a word meant wasn't an option. And if they used a big word, their parents would likely yell at them for acting like a smartass. So that's what they think that means. In their eyes you're doing it to humiliate and belittle them because you think they're stupid. That's what everyone else did to them. It's not on you to unpack their trauma but a little compassion and understanding both goes a long way and helps keep you less frustrated too.
People who are good at communicating (which is not us autists) know how to bypass situations like that. They can tell the other person's vocabulary is lacking and adjust their speech to their level to make communicating smooth and easy. It's something I wish I was better at, people who can blend in with any group or person from how they speak is amazing to me.
No. 2442769
>>2442374Why are you assuming that's the case? I agree with
>>2442336 that people will get rude over words that are not even particularly difficult. The other day someone got on my case for saying "misanthropic." I'm not going to make up tragic fanfic about why someone is being rude to me to make myself feel better about getting berated for nothing. Idk why people nowadays invoke trauma as the motive for all shitty behavior. It is presumptuous and puts the onus back on the person who is being treated badly to "just be understanding."
No. 2443787
>>2443432Yes I hate that! And I can’t do it or whistle, either. Really the least of my problems but it’s annoying when people expect me to whistle or snap along to a song and I physically can’t. Some people can be real dicks about it.
>>2443453Sometimes crowds of people trying to be woke (think anime conventions, some colleges) will snap their fingers instead of clapping because it’s supposedly less distressing to autistic people than the sound of clapping hands. I don’t love clapping but the finger snapping is 10x worse imo.
No. 2444339
>>2444291Id take being BPD, bipolar, and schrizophrenic over being ADHD and its executive dysfunction.
What an embarassing mental illness. Its literally laziness as a mental illness. Imagine having a life like that.
No. 2444355
>>2444339Yeahh sorry. I'm with other anons on this. I've seen too many bpd meltdowns on this site to lust for their lives. At least I experience weirdo hyperfixation euphoria or whatever when I get locked into a game. BPD anons can almost never change themselves and are locked into a perpetual pattern of ruining all of their relationships.
At least I can trick my brain into behaving for a couple hours with stimulants or weed. I don't think bpdfags ever get a break from their insane personality swinging.
No. 2444376
File: 1741980707363.webp (80.58 KB, 1000x1275, 1000016981.webp)
>>2442787Have you tried something like picrel? I hate the outline of my underwear showing in these sporty leggings and generally don't like pants so this is a nice middle-ground, mine is mostly cotton and the skirt ends just above the knees
No. 2445539
>>2444349>the most common/over diagnosed and treatable disorder there is?I'm not that rude anon but is it really that easily treatable? Every person I know with (real) ADHD struggles a lot even on medication and every time I see some relatively successful C tier celebrity or influencer claim they have it I honestly doubt it and suspect they're fakers. Those people are always going through life without an issue and then one day they go "btw I just got diagnosed with ADHD!" and nothing about their life changes. You can't have a disorder and not be disordered, you know what I mean?
>>2444355>I've seen too many bpd meltdowns on this site to lust for their lives.From my non-ADHD perspective I'd choose to befriend the ADHD person over the BPD person 10 out of 10 times. Someone being a bit dysfunctional is fine, but them being a manipulative BPD demon is not something I'd touch even with a ten feet pole.
No. 2445591
>>2445557I had a roommate with untreated and unmanaged adhd. It closely resembled a personality disorder because of how little she could cope with daily life stressors and impacted all of her relationships for the worse.
I would rather have adhd than any of the other conditions that anon previously listed but it can still be debilitating.
No. 2446516
>>2445576kek not me, I love having weirdo friends they're so much fun! I'm friends with an elderly couple on my street who are weirdos, though normies in the sense that nothing is really disordered about them, they are huge gossipers and it's so much fun talking to them. Yes tell me more about the 70 year old slut at bingo club who is on her 5th husband lmao and I love my autist friends because they sperg on about interesting things that I like to hear about. My local ADHD friend is a huge extrovert and is down for any activity and she's always in a good mood, it's always uplifting to keep her in the group.
The good thing with friends as an adult is you don't actually have to see them that often, you just have to stay on friendly terms and do wacky stuff together sometimes. As a teen I had to be my friends therapist, their mom, be reachable on demand 24/7 and it was kinda exhausting. Now I just get the good times with a ton of relaxing alone time in-between.
No. 2447938
>>2447890>Any advice on sounding more like a friendly neurotypical woman over email or text?Oh yes, I got you girl!
>filler words are your best friendWorks in speech too, makes you sound more engaged in the conversation and studies show the more filler words the more "relaxed" the other person becomes (it's apparently something cops learn to de-escalate hostile situations). So if you compare "Hi!" to "Oh hello hello! Nice to see you!" the later is automatically more friendly. Any extra filler word you can add at the beginning AND start helps! If you wanna say "Yes!" you can add "Oh yes totally!". You can add filler words both at the start and the end, at the same time. No "thank you" needs to be that short, make it "Oh wow, thank you so much! It's very appreciated and we're all looking forward to it!"
>emojisUse a happy smiley, or a flower emoji. It looks friendly by default!
>!!!!Exclamation marks makes them read the message as if you're excited! Don't over do it!!!!! But one here and there really helps setting the tone of the message.
>always throw in friendly phrases, never leave a message/conversation too short and coldI think with your characteristic child-like friendliness you should be able to find some fitting ones. Make it a habit to throw them in in text too. "Have a nice day"-isms basically. Anything friendly you would normally say.
>pretend you're a characterIf it feels unnatural and fake to write things like "omg thank you so much, I'm so happy right now!" when you're actually sitting there alone, tired and with a straight face and you're not actually that happy in that moment then it can help to imagine a persona who is writing the messages for you. That persona should be a friendly normie who is always happy and collaborative, what would they say? Obviously don't take the larp too far and over-promise things you can't handle, but it can take a lot of pressure off to pretend it's not really the real you writing the messages. You don't have to be 100% honest in these messages!
>Don't overcomplicate things, don't write too long and stiff messagesIt's tricky for a lot of autists to figure out how to cut down to just the important point so we tend to over-explain. I worked a corporate in the past job and nearly all clients were informal as fuck in their emails to us. Half of them couldn't even spell, used slang words, didn't finish sentences… and these were normal average real working adults!
So; friendly greeting, with some filler words and an exclamation mark! Give them clear bare minimum info. Tell them to not hesitate to reach out with any questions. Oh and another little friendly filler word good bye at the end! Say thank you more than you need to! (insert emoji)
No. 2448277
>>2437620I've coped in a few different ways throughout my life. Initially I had no discipline towards anything I didn't find immediately fun or interesting. The consequences of having no discipline led me towards the medium of anorexia for a number of years in my twenties, despite never having any poor relations with my body or food prior. I developed a chaotic but obsessively consistent routine through this. I made it through three years of an extremely demanding university degree in this degenerating state, until I could no longer force myself to continue and dropped out. I hope to never be that terribly fatigued and unwell ever again because it was so unpleasantly surreal. I believe putting my body into such a condition was a way to regulate how awful I felt mentally and offered great distraction. Anyway, I've also coped with meds (Vyvanse) but I quit them after two years due to a desire to work in aviation as a charter/air ambulance/something exciting pilot one day (pipedream). The meds were helpful for being more patient and able to communicate more clearly, with less of that rambling fluff I'll uncontrollably put on when talking to strangers in my regular, unmedicated state. Ultimately, I never want to go back to them because of the severe dependence that develops. Going off of them derailed my life again and left me inert for about a year after. Ghastly. Honestly, I've never had issues with maintaining a cleanly house because I need everything very tidy and organised. I consider it to be a form of paying respect to where I live by keeping it neat. I only really get overwhelmed by larger tasks in life, not things like cleaning. However, I do presently lead a very limited life in terms of what I do. I keep habitually busy, but I don't overburden myself any further than I can realistically handle. I also exercise six days a week with great intensity which keeps me emotionally stable, healthy and confident. I think working hard with my fitness also helped teach me to tolerate discomfort and difficulty in order to achieve a greater goal, which means I can tolerate learning new skills that relate to things I'm interested in. It all keeps me on an even keel. I'm very lucky to be able to live off of unemployment payments because I do not think I would be well at all if I had to work non-stop to cover the cost of living. Not that I think anybody does well working themselves stupid just to maintain a place to live. I could go on but basically, I've learned a lot of very nasty lessons through mistakes and poor patterns of behaviour, just like anyone does, and they inform how I should proceed forward.
No. 2448932
>>2448463I'm an autist and I instead have 0 rage, never had a meltdown or gotten mad even as a kid or when I "should". I really wonder what the difference is since we're both supposedly autists with the same condition.
Possibly stupid suggestion, but I've heard autistic women have higher testosterone on average (but still within the female range) so I wonder if you were to somehow lower testosterone in those autists with rage problems if that would help?
No. 2451171
>>2441821Ayrt who posted the pic of Sabrina. How am I being judgey? Verbatim I said
>When someone else is wearing uncomfortable clothing, it really disturbs me. I can't help but imagine how uncomfy/scratchy/tight their outfit is and I almost have phantom sensations of it. It's really bizarre. It's normal for us to get sensory overload very easily. I don't care about how the outfit
looks on a person, I said I can't help but imagine how it
feels on myself. In the example she's wearing what I assume is spanx/hosiery, a stiff corset top, ribbons everywhere and heavy looking boots - aka a sensory nightmare. It's not a critique on how she looks in the outfit?
I feel like you're imagining cattiness where there is none. This is literally the autism thread
No. 2451289
>>2451171>How am I being judgey?I mean if an anon says they're not calling anyone specific out and you're the only person who thinks it's about them then maybe deep down you know you really are being a bit judgey.
Being disturbed by other people's clothes is in fact a way of judging them. You're not judging them for "looking bad", but you are judging them for wearing something you imagine is uncomfortable (which in reality may not even be uncomfortable at all). You did also reply "YES!!!!" to the question if anyone else is disgusted by seeing other people wear certain clothes, you wholeheartedly seemed to agree to the post that said other people's clothes bring out "complete disgust" in them. Being disturbed and disgusted by someone else's clothes is very much judging someone. Not judging someone would be neutrality.
No. 2451996
>>2451289>>2451756ayrt - I'm glad that you don't have issues seeing certain clothing/textures. I'm not sure how to convey that I don't care (logically) but it does bother me (sensory). It also applies to clothes whether they're on a person or on a hanger.
Isn't autism somewhat of a "this bothers me even though I don't want it to" situation?? Our brains are literally more sensitive to stimuli and vision is a sense. I feel like I'm not explaining myself very well but won't derail further.
No. 2452887
>>2451996I'd argue then that it doesn't actually bother you in a tactile way, but in a visual way. But you still incorrectly kinda think of it as tactile. You already know that logically it shouldn't bother you and I think that's the first step to getting over it. Purely mundane visual stimuli is likely one of the absolute easiest to get over when it's something specific like that through exposure. You could easily take 5-10 minutes every day to google pictures of it, maybe even just got to an online clothing store and scroll.
I used to be deadly afraid of and disgusted by bugs, then one day I sat down to face my fears and googled close up pictures of them. It made me nearly panic and I felt like they'd jump out of the screen. I'd physically jump or make noises at a lot of them. But after a while they started to look more neutral. As I did it more often I got over at least 75% of my fear. I can even hold certain bugs in my hands now, which was unheard of the 20 first years of my life. I'm confident if you wanted to you could train yourself to get over feeling so disgusted over seeing certain clothes. It may sound small but any such thing you can get over feels like a huge relief when you're over it so it's always worth the effort.
No. 2460048
File: 1742838612750.png (25.38 KB, 275x269, F21F00B6-17F8-434D-AF24-CB1C37…)
>>2460019If this is how you approach daily interactions with others then I understand why you struggle nona…
No. 2460137
>>2460026not paranoid when I've seen it directly happen in front of me in multiple instances.
First in the workplace, 2nd in a classroom setting. I've learnt a lot of the schedules and day to day life of co-workers I've never spoken to in my workplace through small talk with chattier colleagues.
As for class, the moment break happened and a teacher called a student to step out in the hall, the classmates beside me immediately went to gossiping about if its about her sister, if shes going to be the next student to drop out, joke about her tardiness.etc
I definitely over exaggerated by saying "Dont ever talk about yourself" I mean you can, just don't divulge too much that would leave an impression. Be as vague and boring as possible.
>>2460048interactions with your co-workers/classmates and interactions with strangers or acquaintances are very different.
No. 2460600
>>24605362 theories.
Firstly it's that a large portion are straight normies who just want to collect all labels like they're pokemon. So they make up random shit in the form of both disorders and queerness. They're none of it.
Secondly real autists have a mental retardation specifically in the social areas of development, which leads to autists being extra vulnerable to the queer ideology. Because autists know we're "different" we search for reasons why. And queerness offers "explanations" (they're all wrong, but they try) for everything. Plus the typical so called "black and white thinking" leads to autists making the wrong conclusions like "they say as a female I should feel like a girl… but I don't? So I'm not a girl. But I also don't feel like I'm a boy, or have a gender. I can't be an evil bigoted
terf, so I must simply instead be non-binary. And I'm not horny 24/7 so I must be demisexual at most, maybe asexual." You end up with a convoluted chain of thoughts that actually makes no sense.
No. 2460608
File: 1742859034694.jpeg (67.04 KB, 384x510, 853D75ED-08A0-4637-9DBF-E6F472…)
>>2460137No offense but you’re obviously struggling with past or current social trauma that is influencing some major cognitive distortions. If you’re happy living this way then it’s whatever but your posts read like you’re bitter and exhausted over… something
No. 2460652
>>2460627>so many spergs love calling themselves ace until people look into it and discover they're actually pornrotted fetishist half the time. In my experience that's a special breed of (mostly male, but not always) autist. First of all they have to buy into woke queer ideology. They'll proudly say things like "just because I'm asexual doesn't meant I don't watch porn. I still love porn!" they - and the woke people around them - are just too retarded to accept that being so pornsick you don't even pursue other people is very much driven by sex drive and sexuality. The (younger) female variety more often than not are fujoshis, they're less open with their addiction to yaoi and mlm fiction unless you're a close-ish friend. Occasionally (older) it's some other odd fixation: coquette, bdsm, ddlg. It's important to note they are very high functioning autists 99% of the time. I've yet to see a single mid-to-low end autist like this.
Those mid-to-low function autists are genuinely disgusted by sex and don't "understand" it, the males are typically meek men who people even mistake for gay and effeminate. They have underdeveloped brains so they literally don't mature to understand sex. They don't "identify as" asexual, they just express confusion and disgust over the concept the way a child would (because that is literally where their brains are developmentally).
Then there are the "asexual" late bloomer females who get presented with the idea that women are "just as sexual as men, we're just sexually oppressed and that's why we can't be sluts despite us all wanting it". So if they at 18 despite legally being adults aren't a horny mess lusting for boys the way their female peers do they think something is wrong with them and they must be asexual or broken. Nobody is telling them it's normal to not want sex yet, or that women having a low sex drive is very common. Everyone is too focused on telling them they should want sex and how that's empowering and good. Nobody is telling them "you're not broken, you're literally just still a teenager". So they end up thinking they must be asexual, and it's hard to go back on that and admit at 27 maybe you actually do fancy a man/woman but now you're nearly 30 and still a virgin so why even try?
No. 2460740
File: 1742870179673.jpg (178.42 KB, 958x1028, tumblr_46c57e48c226c4a242c2418…)
Is anyone else simultaneously really horny and also sex repulsed? I like masturbating and I like the idea of sex, but sex with another person in practice gives me anxiety and kind of nauseates me. The idea of someone putting their fingers in my vagina without washing their hands makes my skin crawl. I'm profoundly repulsed by any kind of body odor. I can't see myself ever wanting to give oral sex to somebody, or really receive it either, since I'm so self conscious about how my vagina smells. And men are so entitled and porn brained, that I'm certain a guy who only wants to do the limited stuff I'm comfortable with (PIV and hand stuff, basically) doesn't exist. They're so sick and twisted, no matter how "pure" they seem at first, they'd get bored with it and start cheating with a prostitute who sucks his dick, licks his butthole, and lets him fuck her in the ass. Or they'd get addicted to porn and go into debt giving money to some OF whore they develop a parasocial relationship with. I'm disgusted with male sexuality, how men view sex, and how often they get meme'd into weird or violent paraphilias.
I genuinely hate being straight, and not in a virtue-signally, Tumblr-y way. I don't like the kind of sex straight men want, and I don't trust moids to have the level of hygiene I would feel comfortable with in a partner. Plus men age like absolute trash. But you don't pick your orientation, so I guess I'm stuck being volcel. Also, I like written smut and drawn porn, but I hate watching actors have sex in porn or movies. The idea of a real person being paid to have sex with someone they have zero interest in repulses me.
No. 2461833
File: 1742947796395.jpeg (309.35 KB, 807x755, 1712956071507.jpeg)
Do allists feel comfortable scooting past people? I work in a high traffic, somewhat crowded environment with a comically a narrow hallway. I scoot by someone very closely at least 20 times a day. People often joke about how narrow the hallways are so I know it's not just me who is like, woo boy we sure are close to each other! Sometimes peoples entire backs will rub across mine and it is a very chilling sensation. I just wonder if this is me being touch averse vs Normal Human discomfort.
No. 2461940
File: 1742954232348.webp (69.1 KB, 1779x1251, 2119893_A_JPG Output.webp)
>>2461833>allistsNona please fucking integrate.
But no, normies do not like crowds or brushing up against strangers, almost no human on earth does. That is just NOT what being touch averse means, however if you shudder and panic at the thought of your own beloved family member giving you a hug then you might be touch averse. Picrel is a device made for kids who are touch averse and who can't stand hugging people. The device let's them feel the psychological comfort from a hug by squeezing them. If you were truly touch averse you'd know, there would be no question about it.
No. 2461991
File: 1742957106208.jpeg (533.77 KB, 1125x1122, F5946AC1-9F1D-4C02-891E-EF6A3F…)
>>2461940Reminds me of a taffy machine. I just want to jump right in I bet it would feel good.
No. 2462424
File: 1742995569764.webp (106.15 KB, 1556x1452, oto.webp)
>>2461972They do, and there are different variations like picrel that are less childish