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No. 2022269

Previous threads:

Discuss all topics pertaining to Autism, Aspergers or ADHD/ADD experiences as a woman here.

Talk about the difficulty of diagnosis as a woman, the struggles that accompany autism or with being compared to male autists. For anons with ADHD/ADD, discuss your struggles, or share your advice to cope with your issues related to your attention disorder.

Or even discuss your thoughts on how recent attention to autism/ADHD on social media affects those afflicted.

No. 2022273

The last thread was filled up and I got tired of waiting for a new one so I made it myself, hope it's all good. I wanted to continue the animals in autism hat picture theme going so I edited this image together too. It's unique for us!
I like this thread because I feel a sense of solidarity and camaraderie with other autistic anons so it's always nice to know we have each others back itt.

No. 2023569

Thanks for the new thread!

No. 2026886

Does anyone else struggle with thinking they move weird? Whenever I'm surrounded by people I always become self-conscious of the way I move, I feel like I'm not doing it right compared to anybody else.

No. 2027000

You probably are. But take up space anyway, don’t apologise for what you are.

No. 2027008

What do you even mean by moving weird? If it's the fact that you move while standing up, it can't be helped, I do that all of the time and I don't even do anything to stop that. But if it's like, while walking or something like that, just don't slouch over and that's basically it.

No. 2028755

All the fucking time. I used to get made fun of for things like "sitting weird" in school, even. Many autists have hypermobile joints or other conditions that affect how our bodies move so for us weird movement is more normal.

Besides, plenty of "normal" people have fucked up posture and gaits nowadays because of sedentary lifestyles and phone/computer use, so you probably don't stand out that much.

No. 2033485

>Does anyone else struggle with thinking they move weird?
Some of my autist friends do move weird, though I feel it's easier to clock male autists from how they move than female and even then it's not all males either.
Like other anon said, just be you and move weirdly if you have to, nobody actually cares unless it's inconvenient for them.

No. 2033496

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Do you go to the gym, do sports or exercise in some way? Any tips for exercising that works for you autist nonas? Doesn't matter if it's weird, I wanna hear it all (ADHD answers also welcome)
I want to become more active and health.

No. 2033552


I am autistic + ADHD, I like to go on long hikes and have a physical job (survey work) but don't really like other forms of exercise

No. 2033553

I always feel worse after exercising

No. 2033555

I'm autistic, I've noticed I prefer having an instructor telling me exactly what to do so I don't worry about what to do next or if I'm doing it right or wrong.

No. 2033559

maybe you're doing it wrong? Or are you just really out of shape?
I used to feel worse afterwards when I was out of shape, but now that I'm in better shape I feel better.

No. 2033561

I have a stationary bike in the living room and pedal when I play vidya. Works great for getting a lot of exercise without noticing. I also go for short hikes in the woods, although that's more intended to get outside than to exercise. I'll try to do radio calisthenics a couple of times each day, vidrel is my favorite! Can't wait to hear about your own exercise journey nonna!

No. 2033562

I work with kids so my job is pretty active but not enough so i go to the gym. I struggle with my routine because it’s boring to use the machines so i mostly go to classes that last an hour from monday to friday but i always fail Friday. I went depressed two months ago so i quit during that time but I’m back at it again, it helps me to think it only last an hour and then i can go home. I recommend it or any type of sports nona, makes you feel good

No. 2033638

I was diagnosed with autism at age 12 and I'm still suspicious of their reasoning because it makes no sense to me. I think it really might just be that I was cold and quiet to the people who were assessing me, in a way they interpreted as social deficits instead of me not being acting like buddies with unfamiliar adults. To people I knew I think I came across as a normal person, they thought it was as bizarre as I did. I cannot think of any "stimming" that I did at the time. Oh and I also had interests like every other kid on the planet, gotta be autism. Also may have been to do with my lack of eye contact, which is funny because not looking people in the eyes was a habit I developed at a young age out of a misguided belief that people would be able to hypnotize me with their eyes.
I've known a few other girls who also got autism diagnoses that were a huge shock to me, who didn't even seem "off" at all. Funnily enough they all grew up to be tifs.

No. 2033652

I go to the gym. I used to work out at home, but never had the self control to properly do it

No. 2033734

>misguided belief that people would be able to hypnotize me with their eyes
Even if those doctors were wrong, you're definitely more interesting than the average person.

No. 2033832

I used to believe that looking at gold could hypnotize me also (saw a shitty tv movie in which someone was hypnotized by a gold pendulum and made the wrong connection)

No. 2033874

find some outdoor physical activities that you like to do! i love paddle boarding and hiking so i do those as often as i can when the weather is nice enough. i have a gym membership too but i don't use it as much in the summer when i can do the activities i really like, i mostly only use it in the winter months or during rainy/cold weeks just to get off my ass a little bit. i find it hard to motivate myself to go to the gym whereas i love hiking/paddling so its easy for me to get out there and do it

No. 2033905

>Do you go to the gym?
I really like exercising at the gym and at home. I think it's a good way to stay healthy. I think developing a good workout routine in one's youth and sticking through it is a great way to maintain one's strength, self-reliance, and figure throughout the ageing process. At the gym, I don't really look for extrinsic signs of progress (e.g., are my muscles bigger, is my figure thinner, etc.), instead I enjoy the intrinsic signs of my improving fitness and state of being like being secure in my ability to lift heavy things (like grocery bags or water jugs), being able to walk and run for prolonged periods of time without getting tired or sweaty, and feeling more in-tuned with my body. I'm one of the autists that struggle with the "clumsy" factor, so working out with weights is a really great way for me to improve my coordination and my self-esteem in terms of being in control of my body. I also think going to the gym is a great way to meet new acquaintances, especially if you do spin classes or yoga classes on a regular basis. I met two people I like to workout with that way, sometimes we go for drinks too.
>Any tips for exercising that works for you autist nonas?
Going to the gym shouldn't be a big issue, but when I first started going I was very nervous and I felt self-conscious. I think that's just the fear of being in a new place and not knowing all of the inner workings of gym culture and etiquette, and after a month of going I soon realized most people were too busy lifting weights or too caught up in their own workout routines that they didn't even notice if I had failed at something. So, if you feel self-conscious just try to remember that nobody is really looking at you. I still go to the gym later in the day (around 11PM or 12AM) just because I like it when the gym is a bit quieter and I don't have to wait for any machines, and it also limits any social anxiety I might randomly experience. Another tip is that you should already know what you wanna do before you get to the gym, most people separate their workout routine into three days that each focus on a different muscle group, and they do the same workouts every time but slowly increase the weight or the amount of repetitions. When I was starting, I went up to the gym counter and I asked the girl working if she could come around and name all the different machines and then I looked up how to use them later, after I looked up how to use them I just had to practice once or twice and then I got the hang of it. So, try to get an understanding of the machines (it's easiest to watch Youtube demos once you have the names of the machines) and try to get yourself into a good routine where you're using 3-5 machines per gym trip, alongside 2-3 exercises with free weights (you can also look up these, e.g., "exercise with dumbbells for shoulders" and a lot will come up). Sometimes it's hard to maintain a routine, but I think that's one of the pros of being an autist at the gym: once I get into a routine, I follow it through. A lot of my friends admire my dedication to go to the gym 4 times a week, but really to me it's just what I do all the time, if I don't go to the gym I don't feel bad about it but I'll follow along to a dance workout from a Richard Simmons' VHS. When you're working out, remember that the mind-muscle connection is really important. When I started going, I thought if I did heavy weights it would be more beneficial, but I ended up always struggling through my workout and never doing the right moves. Try to find a weight that works for you, i.e., a weight that you can use without straining yourself, that you can use to perform the workout action SLOWLY, and that after all your reps are done you feel a slight burn in the target muscles. It shouldn't be too light that you don't feel anything or that you can do double the reps. Performing the moves slowly with intent is important; a lot of gym newbs will slam down weights but that just means they lost out on a repetition because they let the weight go too fast because it was too heavy.
>I want to become more active and healthy.
This is really important and I think it's a great outlook for you to have. Our health is very important, everyone says so. Once you take the appropriate steps to start fostering your health and acting in accordance with the desire for good health, you'll quickly realize that it's not just a psyop by gym owners: working out really does make you feel better about yourself and aids you in maintaining overall health.

Sorry if this post was spergy but I always like to give informative answers when people talk about the gym because I used to struggle so much with it and now that I'm at a place where I feel confident and secure, I like to help out others the same way some special people helped me out when I first started. If you want nona I will even post my beginners workout routine in the health and fitness thread on /g/ (I don't want to spam this thread with something off-topic). Let me know if you want me to post it.

No. 2034010

do you have a copy of your report or can you get one? i got diagnosed as an adult, but i asked for my counseling/psychiatrist records once and these people misunderstood me so many times it was infuriating.

No. 2034253

thank you nona! (and other anons who answered too!)
>remember that the mind-muscle connection is really important.
What does this mean? I'm leaning towards going to the gym by myself because I like having a routine set (and I already like taking walks in nature regularly so I'll be doing that too).

Do you think not doing different muscle groups in rotation and instead doing like a general lighter all-over workout is bad? I think my goal is slow progress and general strength, so I don't need maximum immediate muscle gain and would rather not have my body aching so much I can't function afterwards. That's how my teen friends made me work out with them years ago and it's just not sustainable for me to lose an entire day afterwards because my legs/arms/something is in constant pain and shaking. They basically kept insisting if it doesn't hurt you didn't train well enough and aren't getting any effects from it. Those girls also had their own adult sports trainers encourage training until you throw up and that just doesn't sound healthy to me… but they were also sportier and in better shape than me doing all that.

Also how long are your gym sessions? How many reps do you usually do? I'd like to see that routine too!

No. 2034265

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No. 2035049

>I cannot think of any "stimming" that I did at the time.
At the time? So you stim now?
I had a friend who is 100% autistic who doubted her diagnosis because they didn't get what she meant when she was 15-ish and being evaluated. After getting to explain herself to them she accepted that she was actually autistic, because all the signs were still there.
What you said reminded me of it, like "I didn't avoid eye contact because of social issues, but because I had this crazy childish belief that they could hypnotize me" not realizing that "childish belief at an age you should have grown out of it" can be a sign in of itself too. Not saying you are an autist tho, have it re-evaluated if you don't think it's correct.

No. 2035062

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ADHD anon here, I take a weekly dance class right now. The gym never worked for me because I wouldn't go regularly and would waste money by not going too many months. But a sceduled class where you HAVE to be at a certain day and certain time? I can do that. Haven't missed a day in a while. It's also a lot more fun than the gym, and I can notice my leg muscles grew.

i also bought something like picrel for homeoffice and it might seem silly but it does help me concentrate better

No. 2036340

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How fucked am I? What should I do?
So I studied education (I had no other choice) and my face blindness is quite a problem. I just can't remember the faces of most students, and no, it's not that I see faceless beings like tiny slendermen, I just see generic faces that I forget completely about after a while. I also can't remember their names, the names just leave my brain, they disappear.
This has happened to me for years, I used to be in denial about this but I think this is it, it's actually going to fuck up my career for sure.
Like, I had to work with some groups of students for almost 2 years and I think I only remember the name and face of like 2 students out of around 120 students, meanwhile non-retarded teachers just learn who these kids are after a few weeks.
My parents say that I just don't care about them (which yeah, I don't feel like I truly care about them) but I should find a way to remember them, there must be a way.
I've tried so hard to remember names and faces, I even have a friend that keeps showing me her favorite actors and stuff but I even have a hard time remembering who they are.
I don't know what to do.

No. 2036355

Ok so I’m genuinely concerned that I’m slightly face blind or something. It’s happened to me several times where I’ve met people multiple times (without being drunk or otherwise inebriated) and they’ll come up to me and say hi and I just cannot for the life of me place where they’re from or how I know them. Or I’ll “sort of?” recognize them and know that I’ve met them before but I have no idea who they are. I can’t remember what most of my high school teachers faces looked like and I can’t remember a lot of their names, meanwhile my friends immediately remember funny moments from freshman year “when Mr. So-and-So said XYZ to this kid and it was hilarious” and I guess I was there but I don’t remember it at all?
It makes me feel insane. I’ve also done acting and I can memorize lines, no problem so I don’t know what my deal is. I took one of those online facial blindness tests that had celebrities as the faces and I passed and knew who they were so maybe I’m just self-centered and I just don’t remember people

No. 2036358

Honesty is the best policy. When you first meet the students, just let them know that you have a problem recognizing faces and it might take you a while to recall names even though you know who they are. I'm mildly face-blind as well, and most people are very understanding when I explain I'm just not good with faces or names. I could know a person well and talk to them countless times, but sometimes I just won't be able to recognize them or place their name. It's a fault that I've learned to work around.
It could be that you're just bad with names or faces! It's really not that big of a deal once you explain to people, just laugh it off and tell them you've been dealing with it for years and they'll understand.

No. 2036599

I agree with other anon, embrace life as a face blind person and tell people you meet about it

No. 2037881

Does anybody else struggle strongly with the ability to reciprocate conversations? It greatly hinders my ability to form any close bonds because i can't help but naturally be so disinterested in anything that isn't my special interests, which sounds to stereotypical, but it's so painfully true in my case. I often have to force myself to smile so i look engaged in the conversation and i am always at a loss for words as to how to reply to people almost all the time, so conversations die faster than they should have. I wish there was book that straight up taught me how to have conversations because everytime i go to a therapist, that's really what i seek out but i never get that help that i need because it's almost like it's something reserved for children. I've had speech therapy as a child before, but only because i was non-verbal, i sometimes believe hadn't my teacher forced my parents to seek it out that i'd still be non-verbal until this very day. Sorry for going off tangent.

No. 2038019

Have you gone to an autist therapist or a speech therapist for adults, or have you just tried general therapists?

No. 2039671

General therapists, i struggle to find any speech therapists for adults near me at all, but i think i will try again.

No. 2039695

>Does anybody else struggle strongly with the ability to reciprocate conversations?
All the time. It's easier to have deep conversations over text or when I know someone's conversational patterns, but very hard otherwise.
>i am always at a loss for words as to how to reply to people almost all the time
Same. Most of my conversation responses are nothingburger, but there's ways to make it less obvious:
>casually/supportively affirm what they're saying. "Oh, I understand xyz. That happens sometimes." This is helpful when people want to vent about lighter subjects.
>ask questions. Especially if you're not sure what they meant. Most people like to talk about themselves, so it's easier to talk less when you ask questions and let them fill the space.
>most people will answer "How's your day going?" with either a socially acceptable "fine", or with what they've done that day. If you hear anything that you're interested in (for example maybe they went snowboarding that weekend and that's something you're into), ask questions about it!
>sometimes it's okay to let conversations die off for a few hours/days if you've exhausted small talk options. If you need to do something else, that's a convenient excuse to take a break and then come talk to that person later.
Not all of these are 100% appropriate at every time, but they're okay as quick-n-dirty hacks to keep a conversation going. As for struggling to get interested in topics that aren't your special interest, the main solution is to fake it until you make it. That's the only thing that worked for me anyway. I still don't give a hoot about most acquaintances' personal lives, but I can at least appear engaged and ask them questions to make them feel better in the conversation, and that makes them happy. Good luck nonna, I hope you find a good speech therapist soon.

No. 2039983

They can be hit or miss, but have you ever tried a support group for other adults with Aspergers? I go to one semi-regularly and I've made a lot of friends through it. I know that autists and normies have different ways of communicating, and while I don't struggle as much with talking to normies anymore I still like to hang out with other people like me and sperg together about topics without feeling ashamed or making them weirded out. I find that I get on better with other people with aspergers and I can enjoy my conversations with them more than with normies.
>I wish there was book that straight up taught me how to have conversation
There are actually books for this! When I moved out on my own I actually bought a book to help learn the art of conversation because I thought it'd be a good way to hone my skills and it easier for me to talk to people. You can find a lot of conversation books online that will help out, even one's specifically aimed at people with aspergers. It's not just reserved for children, don't feel that way: in fact a lot of normie adults don't even know how to hold a proper conversation, so I think everyone can benefit from reading one of those types of self-help books and learning how to be more communicative and to hold better conversations.

No. 2040211

Is there a way to be undiagnosed with autism? I was diagnosed as a teenager, but now as an adult everyone around me has it (not sure if they are self diagnosed or actually diagnosed) and now I feel embarrassed to be diagnosed, is it possible to get a second opinion maybe?

No. 2040218

You can always go in for a second opinion or dispute a diagnosis. I felt strange reading your post though. Just because it's a social media trend right now doesn't mean you should feel embarrassed or ashamed of being diagnosed. I've also had to deal with a faker in my old office job, it really disturbed me. I don't usually disclose my diagnosis at my jobs, so seeing someone faking it in such a way seemed so obscene to me. Once he brought in "stim toys" and everyone was being so fake supportive and all I said was "Is this appropriate for the workplace?" Eventually this led me to leaving the company, in a the end most people at work were either angry at me for being so blunt with the faker and I felt too annoyed to go on working there any longer. Sorry for the blog post, I just wanted to share to illustrate that most of these social media addicts that say they're autistic really can make it worse for real autists, it can be disheartening but we shouldn't let it affect us. Eventually the trend will shift to another disorder, just like how it switched to autism from depression in the late 2010s.

No. 2040334

Do you really want to be undiagnosed because identifying as autistic is "cool" now? It's possible, but that's a dumb reason unless it's seriously affecting your life. In a few years these people with jump to the new "cool" thing like all the other mental illness trends. I remember when everyone was "bipolar", then "OCD", then "social anxiety", and then "ADHD/autism".

No. 2040547

You don't have to tell anyone you are autistic.
Thank you anon!

No. 2041708

Thank you for replying, I don’t tell anyone I’m autistic unless I know them well, I never mention it in professional settings. A lot of my co workers who claim to have it seem so normal though, even my little sister has been diagnosed even though she’s a far cry from what I was like at her age. I used to rarely bathe, eat the same few foods, couldn’t travel on my own or make eye contact with people, completely melted down over certain smells and noises but I have all of those under control now. I’m really at a loss as to wether I’m actually autistic or if it was just a misdiagnoses, especially since everyone around me seems to have it now and I’m nothing like them on the surface. Sorry for rambling, I’m just at a complete loss mentally.

No. 2042660

i rarely go out but today i decided id tag along to my boyfriends board game night with 8 other people neither of us knew, i walked in and i was fighting back tears and eventually rushed to the bathroom and couldn’t stop crying. for a while i thought i had a bit of a grip on my autism but i feel so defeated today, as if its a rude awakening that i will never be fully settled and comfortable in society especially being bipolar as well. i’m now a young adult and i don’t want to be a neet for any longer but government benefits give me access to partial health cover for doctors which i use twice monthly etc. i’m in australia and it’s definitely not enough to live on if i were to move out, and the biggest problem is that if i get a entry level job the minimum hours they’d want me to work would be beyond the cutoff point for the government money so id lose my safety net. i’m thinking of studying at uni but i dont know what i should go into in the future. im just wondering for those of you who work, what sort of jobs work for you and which ones dont? a lot of remote jobs such as IT are going to become obsolete in a while so id rather avoid that, i was thinking of nursing but there is absolutely no way id be able to handle it. i’m feeling very defeated and depressed, i just want to live in the european countryside and milk cows, grow food, do handicrafts and feel safe in my own world. i can’t help but feel like the world was not made for us even though its ruled by autists to some extent. sorry for blogposting i dont post much but its just really bothering me.

No. 2044224

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hi nonnas. wanted to ask for some advice, I hope this is the right place to put this, I'm not too sure if it would be better suited for /2X/ or /g/. wanted to ask how others deal with feeling like they are constantly existing "wrong". I'm pretty gnc: short hair (used to be buzzed), no make-up (makes me feel gross), nails as short as possible and unpainted (sensory/skin issues), legs/armpits unshaved. I feel like hearing other women talk about make-up and nails, and seeing women constantly irl with make-up/fancy nails/shaved/etc. makes me constantly feel like I'm gross and doing being female "wrong", or like, I'm immature and childish. I know I've seen (normie?) women online call women who don't wear make-up "crusty" or immature, but I'm very hygienic and I look after myself (definitely look after myself more than the average moid). even though I know logically that there is nothing wrong with existing as a gnc woman I can't shake the feeling that I'm constantly being judged, not fitting in, that I'm doing it all wrong, that I'm always been looked down upon as childish and/or gross. does anybody else deal with the same feelings? how do you overcome it? thank you for reading, it's really been getting to me and I feel like I can't be "logical" about just existing as a gnc woman because of those constant feelings that I'm doing it all "wrong" and not following the "rules" correctly. ily nonnas.

No. 2044238

>I can't shake the feeling that I'm constantly being judged
I don't have much advice for you, but I will offer one thing. Almost every woman feels constantly judged. Even though the most drop dead gorgeous model you can imagine looks in the mirror and finds flaws. I know because I hang out with them, and these supermodels never have anything good to say about themselves, they only either say nothing about their bodies or negative things. It is the female condition to feel watched and judged all the time.
The only way through is to realize that the people who's opinion you care about are not judging you, while the people who judge you are not the ones you should care about. Those judgemental people are shallow or unkind or have lives that are a mess. To feel judged by them is like being worried about like a pedophile think of you, just a total waste of time because his good opinion means nothing.

No. 2044245

I always did wonder if one of my legs being longer than the other had something to do with my tism. I've had friends swear up and down they can tell when I'm the one walking down a hallway because my footsteps sound very particular. I'd never make it as a ninja I guess.

No. 2044254

When I was five years out of highschool I had a glance at my senior year class photo, and I swear to god I've never met at least 8 of those people ever in my life. The rest I remembered the faces of but had no idea what their names were, the only names I remembered where those of the three classmates I actually talked to back then. Made me feel absolutely insane nonna, so I get where you're coming from.

No. 2044316

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I have autism and a lot of my coworkers have ADD.
I hate that my quirks (like preferring a definitive "yes" or "no" in writing) are opposite of theirs (like wanting to "hop on a call" and screenshare something while getting distracted ten times).
The shittiest part is that I can't just respond to their "I need to pace the room and talk to myself due to my brain" with "I need absolute silence due to my brain, so let's compromise" because every time I have revealed my autism, it has been used against me. For example, if I tell someone that it's against cybersecurity policy to host something on a public IP address, they will tell me it's just my "black and white sense of justice".
People talk a lot about not being able to be honest with those in their personal life, but I feel like I can't be real with anyone. Well, except lolcow.

No. 2044761

I don't really have advice, but i can offer some of my experience for a sense of solidarity if it will help. I don't necessarily present in a gender non-conforming way, but i definitely do not engage in female beauty rituals beyond skincare and have longer hair. For someone like me who is already conventionally unattractive, i typically see women who are aesthetically challenged as i am working overtime to compensate for their looks by wearing heavy makeup and hair weaves. I have given this stuff a try, but honestly, my adhd rather than my autism prohibits me from having such an extensive routine, plus i hate the way makeup feels. I've been living like this for all my life and have been bullied so much as a teen for my looks that i feel completely numb to a lot of negative comments i get from people for my appearance. The feelings that you feel can never go away imo, i still get self conscious when i am around women who are conventionally attractive because i just feel so gross in comparison to me and honestly a lot of women are extremely judgemental towards other women they feel who aren't following the imaginary rules of womanhood from my experience. I personally think it can only get worse if you cave into everyone's judgements of you or the judgements you think they have of you and start trying to appease them because you inherit a new set of problems, not that you were going to do that. The only thing you can do is try to find ways of distracting yourself when those negative thoughts appear in your mind.

No. 2044864

I can't tell whether I'm autistic, or just depressed and find it hard to socialise as a result. Or maybe the third option being some level of schizoid.

No. 2044909

not aimed at you but the amount of clearly (and reasonably due to circumstances) depressed people who think they're disordered in some way is really tragic

No. 2045101

I carry a very similar inferiority complex from being treated like the frumpy retard duckling. But as i get older, i get more chances to talk to conforming women individually about makeup/looks (well, they talk about it and i listen) and i've realized they're in a private hell. They deal with chronic overwhelming anxieties about their looks and care a lot about being attractive all the time. Some are just coquettish women who've been drawn to this stuff since a young age, but a lot of them picked up these worries with puberty, do it out of 'duty' and are miserable as a result. That's it, they're miserable. These are the kinds of women who cry themselves to sleep because they think they look weird in some angle. What's really sad and bizarre is that they can be extremely beautiful and conforming, but it's never enough. Ofc GNC/autistic women are susceptible to dysmorphia but it doesn't become all-consuming most of the time. Even at the height of my teenage insecurity i was okay with going outside while feeling deformed or really ugly, but i know women who can't go grocery shopping without a full face of makeup. It doesn't make sense for you to feel bad because a neurotic person wants everyone in the room to ease her own misery. Seeing women like you, the more hostile/sexist ones see a reminder of the pointlessness of it all. I know it's hard to let go of the need to fit in or the nagging sensation that you're doing it 'wrong' (especially if you feel you're lacking as an autistic woman), but it's fine and you're clearly better off. Maybe try to retort to critique if/when it happens, so it doesn't imprint itself on you. Just say something like 'oh well there is more to life than being pretty'. I was talking about this exact subject with an autistic friend who's really effortlessly GNC. We listed incidents where women we both know would make us feel like shit for not caring and noticed all the women were really unwell, were known to deal with lots of self-hatred and interpersonal conflict. It's a way for them to displace their inner anguish.

No. 2045516

nayrt, but the whole makeup thing is so odd to me. Maybe its because of my sperg brain, but I genuinely don't spend enough time looking at people to register the specific colors and shit on their face, and I can't imagine spending enough of your present awareness to notice if people have on mascara or whatever. I've been thinking on it lately, trying to figure out if normies really do notice that much, or if the women wearing makeup are just living in a paranoid delusion of how much others look at their face. And even if others do notice, how does it actually affect your life in any way? Really seems like a self-imposed prison.

No. 2045668

Who else can’t get their meds? I’ve been taking them for so long they’ve altered my brain chemistry and now without them I spend anywhere between twelve and twenty two hours asleep which makes it hard to call around and get them. This is such bullshit I’m so fucking mad at all the people who got diagnosed over quarantine and the doctors who handed out diagnoses like candy. My life is a mess with the medication but without it I’m essentially a coma patient who can take care of herself.

No. 2046143

File: 1718194404632.png (149.63 KB, 345x353, bigbilly.png)

Having finally started to discuss gc on discord and a few other messaging servers, it becomes so clear to me how differently normies parse the world, and I don't understand why they are willfully stupid. It's like pulling teeth sometimes, trying to have them explain how gender and its ideologies can be rationally and morally brought out from what actually exists in the world, materially. It makes things so hard to explain, sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a five year old that goes off on tangents about what they had for lunch, and I have to keep reining them in. Can they not just keep to a single through line without bringing in "muh experiences" and their misguided empathy?

Also, dumb, but do any of you get weird earworms that aren't music at all? I've been having phrases from "talking cat" videos playing in my head the last few weeks and its so distracting. I'm terrified of being overheard muttering "I am Big Billy, the biggest wet willy
I'm gonna go clearly mh" by someone

No. 2047401

>And even if others do notice, how does it actually affect your life in any way?
People are nicer to good looking people. Pretty people take ageing a lot harder than ugly or average people too, it causes them a lot of distress. I recently heard an example of it where 2 middle aged women were at lunch and 1 asked the waiter for some change about the food and he just looked at her like "um no, that's not allowed" and she was disappointed and told her confused friend "I used to be pretty". She had gone her whole youth/life getting any mildly annoying and inconvenient change she wanted simply because she was pretty and people wanted to go beyond for her. As she aged out of it the "worse" (but actually normal) people started treating her, so to her the world had gone colder and meaner simply because she looks "worse" now.

No. 2047402

>I’ve been taking them for so long they’ve altered my brain chemistry and now without them I spend anywhere between twelve and twenty two hours asleep
That's likely just withdrawal nona, if you stopped taking them your body would go back to normal again. I had the same thing when I stopped my meds, I slept for days! I do fine fully without meds now, I'm glad I quit.

No. 2047447

File: 1718280748484.jpeg (73.68 KB, 736x414, IMG_6136.jpeg)

Never understood why people say ADHD is less stigmatised than other disorders when it’s clear most people just see people with ADHD as lazy junkies . I’m never going to tell anyone I have ADHD because they immediately stereotype and look down on you imo it’s worse for men when it comes to stereotypes.

No. 2047453

I see so many men with ADHD who somehow get a mommy bangmaid to take care of them. Women almost always get their shit together because like you, they don't want to be stereotyped as retarded lazy child who can't do anything for themselves and shids their diapers constantly.

No. 2047467

I get those earworms, right now I keep thinking of a video of a "parrot" guiding a blind guy (it's a guy talking instead of the parrot) it's so dumb but I need to listen to it a lot and I keep repeating that in my brain.

No. 2048133

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Why do people think you can "overcome" or "get over" ADHD? It's a freaking disability! I can be functional (most of the time), but I legitimately wish I could evaporate into thin air at least once every 3 days.

No. 2048163

men with mental conditions of any kind usually make it women's problem so judgment is fair on them.

No. 2048783

I'm not saying this is entirely false, but I've never observed it irl. It probably does happen in certain situations, but my biggest tinfoil is that people are paranoid about how they look and it colors their experience. So when they enter a social situation when they know they look attractive that day, they feel like they're being treated better than on their off-days, even though it's probably due to the happier vibe they give off causing more positive reactions from others. So related to appearance, but not actually a direct consequence of it. I'm sure this varies wildly by social milieu though, so my rural working class eurotrash town probably has a different dynamic than SoCal or some equivalent place.

No. 2049044

>Also, dumb, but do any of you get weird earworms that aren't music at all?
Yes and I actively enjoy it, which surprises people. Though it is mostly music, but sometimes I get sounds stuck too. The way I see it they only get stuck because my brain finds them interesting or calming, so I let my brain enjoy the sounds.

No. 2049050

I'm euro too. Good looking people do get treated better. Or rather, people who are considered "socially acceptable" get treated better. You can be the prettiest woman on earth but if you wear alt fashion people will still treat you a bit funny. If you show up in the wrong clohtes for the occasion you're treated as clueless and a bit dumb. How you look does have a massive effect on how you are treated as humans are very sight based in their communication. But if you manage to look "somewhat normal" you'll be treated pretty ok most of the time.
Older women here actively make themselves less "feminine"(/attractive) so they get less attention over their looks, it's kind of an interesting phenomenon to observe. Finding a woman over 50 with mid to long hair and/or makeup is near impossible.

No. 2049112

Because if you try hard enough you can be indistinguishable from normal people to basically everybody you interact with. Thinking of it as a disability rather than an obstacle is a self-imposed prison.

No. 2049523

AYRT, Most of the women in my family only wear makeup for special occasions, much of the crafting groups or union pensioner meetups they go to, they put on some rogue or mascara.

My mom has passed 55 this year and still has hair past her shoulder, I'd say it's about half her friends has the same thing going on. I've got a grandma whos 84 who has recently gotten into reworking a lot of the dresses she made for herself in the 60s, because she doesn't want her old handiwork to go to waste. In my experience there's a far stricter hold onto specific beauty standards and routines than among my cousins.I think the idea of pretty = life put together was stronger with old people.

Can't really use alt people where I'm from since metalheads have been ubiquitous for about 45 years, thats not unusual anymore. The women in the local scene do trend towards not wearing makeup though, which is what I originally referred to - none have been socially isloated yet.

No. 2052870

I have an ADHD evaluation next month, and I’m freaking out about it, it’s all I can think about. I’m terrified both of dealing with an ADHD diagnosis and with an exclusion of it (because that will mean more time in the psychiatry carousel trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me) is it normal to feel this way?

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