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No. 2022269
Previous threads:
>>>/ot/1687145>>>/ot/1438835>>>/ot/1198440>>>/ot/586560Discuss all topics pertaining to Autism, Aspergers or ADHD/ADD experiences as a woman here.
Talk about the difficulty of diagnosis as a woman, the struggles that accompany autism or with being compared to male autists. For anons with ADHD/ADD, discuss your struggles, or share your advice to cope with your issues related to your attention disorder.
Or even discuss your thoughts on how recent attention to autism/ADHD on social media affects those afflicted.
No. 2028755
>>2026886All the fucking time. I used to get made fun of for things like "sitting weird" in school, even. Many autists have hypermobile joints or other conditions that affect how our bodies move so for us weird movement is more normal.
Besides, plenty of "normal" people have fucked up posture and gaits nowadays because of sedentary lifestyles and phone/computer use, so you probably don't stand out that much.
No. 2033485
>>2026886>Does anyone else struggle with thinking they move weird?Some of my autist friends do move weird, though I feel it's easier to clock male autists from how they move than female and even then it's not all males either.
Like other anon said, just be you and move weirdly if you have to, nobody actually cares unless it's inconvenient for them.
No. 2033496
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Do you go to the gym, do sports or exercise in some way? Any tips for exercising that works for you autist nonas? Doesn't matter if it's weird, I wanna hear it all (ADHD answers also welcome)
I want to become more active and health.
No. 2033559
>>2033553maybe you're doing it wrong? Or are you just really out of shape?
I used to feel worse afterwards when I was out of shape, but now that I'm in better shape I feel better.
No. 2033905
>>2033496>Do you go to the gym?I really like exercising at the gym and at home. I think it's a good way to stay healthy. I think developing a good workout routine in one's youth and sticking through it is a great way to maintain one's strength, self-reliance, and figure throughout the ageing process. At the gym, I don't really look for extrinsic signs of progress (e.g., are my muscles bigger, is my figure thinner, etc.), instead I enjoy the intrinsic signs of my improving fitness and state of being like being secure in my ability to lift heavy things (like grocery bags or water jugs), being able to walk and run for prolonged periods of time without getting tired or sweaty, and feeling more in-tuned with my body. I'm one of the autists that struggle with the "clumsy" factor, so working out with weights is a really great way for me to improve my coordination and my self-esteem in terms of being in control of my body. I also think going to the gym is a great way to meet new acquaintances, especially if you do spin classes or yoga classes on a regular basis. I met two people I like to workout with that way, sometimes we go for drinks too.
>Any tips for exercising that works for you autist nonas?Going to the gym shouldn't be a big issue, but when I first started going I was very nervous and I felt self-conscious. I think that's just the fear of being in a new place and not knowing all of the inner workings of gym culture and etiquette, and after a month of going I soon realized most people were too busy lifting weights or too caught up in their own workout routines that they didn't even notice if I had failed at something. So, if you feel self-conscious just try to remember that nobody is
really looking at you. I still go to the gym later in the day (around 11PM or 12AM) just because I like it when the gym is a bit quieter and I don't have to wait for any machines, and it also limits any social anxiety I might randomly experience. Another tip is that you should already know what you wanna do
before you get to the gym, most people separate their workout routine into three days that each focus on a different muscle group, and they do the same workouts every time but slowly increase the weight or the amount of repetitions. When I was starting, I went up to the gym counter and I asked the girl working if she could come around and name all the different machines and then I looked up how to use them later, after I looked up how to use them I just had to practice once or twice and then I got the hang of it. So, try to get an understanding of the machines (it's easiest to watch Youtube demos once you have the names of the machines) and try to get yourself into a good routine where you're using 3-5 machines per gym trip, alongside 2-3 exercises with free weights (you can also look up these, e.g., "exercise with dumbbells for shoulders" and a lot will come up). Sometimes it's hard to maintain a routine, but I think that's one of the pros of being an autist at the gym: once I get into a routine, I follow it through. A lot of my friends admire my dedication to go to the gym 4 times a week, but really to me it's just what I do all the time, if I don't go to the gym I don't feel bad about it but I'll follow along to a dance workout from a Richard Simmons' VHS. When you're working out, remember that the
mind-muscle connection is really important. When I started going, I thought if I did heavy weights it would be more beneficial, but I ended up always struggling through my workout and never doing the right moves. Try to find a weight that works for you, i.e., a weight that you can use without straining yourself, that you can use to perform the workout action SLOWLY, and that after all your reps are done you feel a slight burn in the target muscles. It shouldn't be too light that you don't feel anything or that you can do double the reps. Performing the moves slowly with intent is important; a lot of gym newbs will slam down weights but that just means they lost out on a repetition because they let the weight go too fast because it was too heavy.
>I want to become more active and healthy.This is really important and I think it's a great outlook for you to have. Our health is very important, everyone says so. Once you take the appropriate steps to start fostering your health and acting in accordance with the desire for good health, you'll quickly realize that it's not just a psyop by gym owners: working out really
does make you feel better about yourself and aids you in maintaining overall health.
Sorry if this post was spergy but I always like to give informative answers when people talk about the gym because I used to struggle so much with it and now that I'm at a place where I feel confident and secure, I like to help out others the same way some special people helped me out when I first started. If you want nona I will even post my beginners workout routine in the health and fitness thread on /g/ (I don't want to spam this thread with something off-topic). Let me know if you want me to post it.
No. 2034253
>>2033905thank you nona! (and other anons who answered too!)
>remember that the mind-muscle connection is really important.What does this mean? I'm leaning towards going to the gym by myself because I like having a routine set (and I already like taking walks in nature regularly so I'll be doing that too).
Do you think not doing different muscle groups in rotation and instead doing like a general lighter all-over workout is bad? I think my goal is slow progress and general strength, so I don't need maximum immediate muscle gain and would rather not have my body aching so much I can't function afterwards. That's how my teen friends made me work out with them years ago and it's just not sustainable for me to lose an entire day afterwards because my legs/arms/something is in constant pain and shaking. They basically kept insisting if it doesn't hurt you didn't train well enough and aren't getting any effects from it. Those girls also had their own adult sports trainers encourage training until you throw up and that just doesn't sound healthy to me… but they were also sportier and in better shape than me doing all that.
Also how long are your gym sessions? How many reps do you usually do? I'd like to see that routine too!
No. 2034265
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>>2034257
No. 2035049
>>2033638>I cannot think of any "stimming" that I did at the time.At the time? So you stim now?
I had a friend who is 100% autistic who doubted her diagnosis because they didn't get what she meant when she was 15-ish and being evaluated. After getting to explain herself to them she accepted that she was actually autistic, because all the signs were still there.
What you said reminded me of it, like "I didn't avoid eye contact because of social issues, but because I had this crazy childish belief that they could hypnotize me" not realizing that "childish belief at an age you should have grown out of it" can be a sign in of itself too. Not saying you are an autist tho, have it re-evaluated if you don't think it's correct.
No. 2035062
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>>2033496ADHD anon here, I take a weekly dance class right now. The gym never worked for me because I wouldn't go regularly and would waste money by not going too many months. But a sceduled class where you HAVE to be at a certain day and certain time? I can do that. Haven't missed a day in a while. It's also a lot more fun than the gym, and I can notice my leg muscles grew.
i also bought something like picrel for homeoffice and it might seem silly but it does help me concentrate better
No. 2036340
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How fucked am I? What should I do?
So I studied education (I had no other choice) and my face blindness is quite a problem. I just can't remember the faces of most students, and no, it's not that I see faceless beings like tiny slendermen, I just see generic faces that I forget completely about after a while. I also can't remember their names, the names just leave my brain, they disappear.
This has happened to me for years, I used to be in denial about this but I think this is it, it's actually going to fuck up my career for sure.
Like, I had to work with some groups of students for almost 2 years and I think I only remember the name and face of like 2 students out of around 120 students, meanwhile non-retarded teachers just learn who these kids are after a few weeks.
My parents say that I just don't care about them (which yeah, I don't feel like I truly care about them) but I should find a way to remember them, there must be a way.
I've tried so hard to remember names and faces, I even have a friend that keeps showing me her favorite actors and stuff but I even have a hard time remembering who they are.
I don't know what to do.
No. 2036355
>>2036340Ok so I’m genuinely concerned that I’m slightly face blind or something. It’s happened to me several times where I’ve met people multiple times (without being drunk or otherwise inebriated) and they’ll come up to me and say hi and I just cannot for the life of me place where they’re from or how I know them. Or I’ll “sort of?” recognize them and know that I’ve met them before but I have no idea who they are. I can’t remember what most of my high school teachers faces looked like and I can’t remember a lot of their names, meanwhile my friends immediately remember funny moments from freshman year “when Mr. So-and-So said XYZ to this kid and it was hilarious” and I guess I was there but I don’t remember it at all?
It makes me feel insane. I’ve also done acting and I can memorize lines, no problem so I don’t know what my deal is. I took one of those online facial blindness tests that had celebrities as the faces and I passed and knew who they were so maybe I’m just self-centered and I just don’t remember people
No. 2036358
>>2036340Honesty is the best policy. When you first meet the students, just let them know that you have a problem recognizing faces and it might take you a while to recall names even though you know who they are. I'm mildly face-blind as well, and most people are very understanding when I explain I'm just not good with faces or names. I could know a person well and talk to them countless times, but sometimes I just won't be able to recognize them or place their name. It's a fault that I've learned to work around.
>>2036355It could be that you're just bad with names or faces! It's really not that big of a deal once you explain to people, just laugh it off and tell them you've been dealing with it for years and they'll understand.
No. 2039695
>>2037881>Does anybody else struggle strongly with the ability to reciprocate conversations?All the time. It's easier to have deep conversations over text or when I know someone's conversational patterns, but very hard otherwise.
>i am always at a loss for words as to how to reply to people almost all the timeSame. Most of my conversation responses are nothingburger, but there's ways to make it less obvious:
>casually/supportively affirm what they're saying. "Oh, I understand xyz. That happens sometimes." This is helpful when people want to vent about lighter subjects.>ask questions. Especially if you're not sure what they meant. Most people like to talk about themselves, so it's easier to talk less when you ask questions and let them fill the space.>most people will answer "How's your day going?" with either a socially acceptable "fine", or with what they've done that day. If you hear anything that you're interested in (for example maybe they went snowboarding that weekend and that's something you're into), ask questions about it!>sometimes it's okay to let conversations die off for a few hours/days if you've exhausted small talk options. If you need to do something else, that's a convenient excuse to take a break and then come talk to that person later.Not all of these are 100% appropriate at every time, but they're okay as quick-n-dirty hacks to keep a conversation going. As for struggling to get interested in topics that aren't your special interest, the main solution is to fake it until you make it. That's the only thing that worked for me anyway. I still don't give a hoot about most acquaintances' personal lives, but I can at least appear engaged and ask them questions to make them feel better in the conversation, and that makes them happy. Good luck nonna, I hope you find a good speech therapist soon.
No. 2039983
>>2037881They can be hit or miss, but have you ever tried a support group for other adults with Aspergers? I go to one semi-regularly and I've made a lot of friends through it. I know that autists and normies have different ways of communicating, and while I don't struggle as much with talking to normies anymore I still like to hang out with other people like me and sperg together about topics without feeling ashamed or making them weirded out. I find that I get on better with other people with aspergers and I can enjoy my conversations with them more than with normies.
>I wish there was book that straight up taught me how to have conversationThere are actually books for this! When I moved out on my own I actually bought a book to help learn the art of conversation because I thought it'd be a good way to hone my skills and it easier for me to talk to people. You can find a lot of conversation books online that will help out, even one's specifically aimed at people with aspergers. It's not just reserved for children, don't feel that way: in fact a lot of normie adults don't even know how to hold a proper conversation, so I think everyone can benefit from reading one of those types of self-help books and learning how to be more communicative and to hold better conversations.
No. 2040547
>>2040211You don't have to tell anyone you are autistic.
>>2039695Thank you anon!
No. 2044224
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hi nonnas. wanted to ask for some advice, I hope this is the right place to put this, I'm not too sure if it would be better suited for /2X/ or /g/. wanted to ask how others deal with feeling like they are constantly existing "wrong". I'm pretty gnc: short hair (used to be buzzed), no make-up (makes me feel gross), nails as short as possible and unpainted (sensory/skin issues), legs/armpits unshaved. I feel like hearing other women talk about make-up and nails, and seeing women constantly irl with make-up/fancy nails/shaved/etc. makes me constantly feel like I'm gross and doing being female "wrong", or like, I'm immature and childish. I know I've seen (normie?) women online call women who don't wear make-up "crusty" or immature, but I'm very hygienic and I look after myself (definitely look after myself more than the average moid). even though I know logically that there is nothing wrong with existing as a gnc woman I can't shake the feeling that I'm constantly being judged, not fitting in, that I'm doing it all wrong, that I'm always been looked down upon as childish and/or gross. does anybody else deal with the same feelings? how do you overcome it? thank you for reading, it's really been getting to me and I feel like I can't be "logical" about just existing as a gnc woman because of those constant feelings that I'm doing it all "wrong" and not following the "rules" correctly. ily nonnas.
No. 2044238
>>2044224>I can't shake the feeling that I'm constantly being judgedI don't have much advice for you, but I will offer one thing. Almost every woman feels constantly judged. Even though the most drop dead gorgeous model you can imagine looks in the mirror and finds flaws. I know because I hang out with them, and these supermodels never have anything good to say about themselves, they only either say nothing about their bodies or negative things. It is the female condition to feel watched and judged all the time.
The only way through is to realize that the people who's opinion you care about are not judging you, while the people who judge you are not the ones you should care about. Those judgemental people are shallow or unkind or have lives that are a mess. To feel judged by them is like being worried about like a pedophile think of you, just a total waste of time because his good opinion means nothing.
No. 2044316
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I have autism and a lot of my coworkers have ADD.
I hate that my quirks (like preferring a definitive "yes" or "no" in writing) are opposite of theirs (like wanting to "hop on a call" and screenshare something while getting distracted ten times).
The shittiest part is that I can't just respond to their "I need to pace the room and talk to myself due to my brain" with "I need absolute silence due to my brain, so let's compromise" because every time I have revealed my autism, it has been used against me. For example, if I tell someone that it's against cybersecurity policy to host something on a public IP address, they will tell me it's just my "black and white sense of justice".
People talk a lot about not being able to be honest with those in their personal life, but I feel like I can't be real with anyone. Well, except lolcow.
No. 2045101
>>2044224I carry a very similar inferiority complex from being treated like the frumpy retard duckling. But as i get older, i get more chances to talk to conforming women individually about makeup/looks (well, they talk about it and i listen) and i've realized they're in a private hell. They deal with chronic overwhelming anxieties about their looks and care a lot about being attractive all the time. Some are just coquettish women who've been drawn to this stuff since a young age, but a lot of them picked up these worries with puberty, do it out of 'duty' and are miserable as a result. That's it, they're miserable. These are the kinds of women who cry themselves to sleep because they think they look weird in some angle. What's really sad and bizarre is that they can be extremely beautiful and conforming, but it's never enough. Ofc GNC/autistic women are susceptible to dysmorphia but it doesn't become all-consuming most of the time. Even at the height of my teenage insecurity i was okay with going outside while feeling deformed or really ugly, but i know women who can't go grocery shopping without a full face of makeup. It doesn't make sense for you to feel bad because a neurotic person wants everyone in the room to ease her own misery. Seeing women like you, the more hostile/sexist ones see a reminder of the pointlessness of it all. I know it's hard to let go of the need to fit in or the nagging sensation that you're doing it 'wrong' (especially if you feel you're lacking as an autistic woman), but it's fine and you're clearly better off. Maybe try to retort to critique if/when it happens, so it doesn't imprint itself on you. Just say something like 'oh well there is more to life than being pretty'. I was talking about this exact subject with an autistic friend who's really effortlessly GNC. We listed incidents where women we both know would make us feel like shit for not caring and noticed all the women were really unwell, were known to deal with lots of self-hatred and interpersonal conflict. It's a way for them to displace their inner anguish.
No. 2046143
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Having finally started to discuss gc on discord and a few other messaging servers, it becomes so clear to me how differently normies parse the world, and I don't understand why they are willfully stupid. It's like pulling teeth sometimes, trying to have them explain how gender and its ideologies can be rationally and morally brought out from what actually exists in the world, materially. It makes things so hard to explain, sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a five year old that goes off on tangents about what they had for lunch, and I have to keep reining them in. Can they not just keep to a single through line without bringing in "muh experiences" and their misguided empathy?
Also, dumb, but do any of you get weird earworms that aren't music at all? I've been having phrases from "talking cat" videos playing in my head the last few weeks and its so distracting. I'm terrified of being overheard muttering "I am Big Billy, the biggest wet willy
I'm gonna go clearly mh" by someone
No. 2047447
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Never understood why people say ADHD is less stigmatised than other disorders when it’s clear most people just see people with ADHD as lazy junkies . I’m never going to tell anyone I have ADHD because they immediately stereotype and look down on you imo it’s worse for men when it comes to stereotypes.
No. 2048133
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Why do people think you can "overcome" or "get over" ADHD? It's a freaking disability! I can be functional (most of the time), but I legitimately wish I could evaporate into thin air at least once every 3 days.
No. 2049050
>>2048783I'm euro too. Good looking people do get treated better. Or rather, people who are considered "socially acceptable" get treated better. You can be the prettiest woman on earth but if you wear alt fashion people will still treat you a bit funny. If you show up in the wrong clohtes for the occasion you're treated as clueless and a bit dumb. How you look does have a massive effect on how you are treated as humans are very sight based in their communication. But if you manage to look "somewhat normal" you'll be treated pretty ok most of the time.
Older women here actively make themselves less "feminine"(/attractive) so they get less attention over their looks, it's kind of an interesting phenomenon to observe. Finding a woman over 50 with mid to long hair and/or makeup is near impossible.
No. 2049523
>>2049050AYRT, Most of the women in my family only wear makeup for special occasions, much of the crafting groups or union pensioner meetups they go to, they put on some rogue or mascara.
My mom has passed 55 this year and still has hair past her shoulder, I'd say it's about half her friends has the same thing going on. I've got a grandma whos 84 who has recently gotten into reworking a lot of the dresses she made for herself in the 60s, because she doesn't want her old handiwork to go to waste. In my experience there's a far stricter hold onto specific beauty standards and routines than among my cousins.I think the idea of pretty = life put together was stronger with old people.
Can't really use alt people where I'm from since metalheads have been ubiquitous for about 45 years, thats not unusual anymore. The women in the local scene do trend towards not wearing makeup though, which is what I originally referred to - none have been socially isloated yet.
No. 2058482
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>>2054952I do, I have a million pairs of sunglasses in my car, at home and at work to deal kek. I'm also noise sensitive and loops work really well for me.
Does anyone else have pathological demand avoidance? It nearly fits me to a T. It's why I have so many issues at work, especially dealing with micromanagers.
No. 2058674
File: 1718981652793.png (22.04 KB, 400x467, Demand-Avoidance-triangle-webs…)
>>2058509They want us to kill ourselves, my main thing is, I'm competent and can get shit done unlike the people in my business. why not just leave me alone and let me function on my own?
>>2058528kek, it is but it has a lot of info which is why I like it. I'm more sociable and people are surprised when I tell them I'm a sperg because I can carry conversation well. I have an interest in certain people and maybe can seem intense, I'm not sure if it comes across to others as obsessive though.I would say this image describes it best but it feels like I have a meter that just sets off when theres too many demands made of me. also excel best at filling roles, not quite role-playing since I'm not into DnD and stuff but like social deduction games where you have a role. It also in my long term relationship has shown up via sex, the more he wants it from me the less I want to do it even if I have the urge to, to the point where it just doesn't happen at all. Hopefully that all makes sense
No. 2058749
>>2058674>>2058528PDA is really insiduous, especially when you don't even know it exists. In my life, it can look like anything from not wanting to get a menu item at a restaurant because someone recommended it to me, to actively avoiding work or even having trouble finding a job. When I worked in an office, I naively expected to be left alone for the most part because I worked efficiently, didn't really talk to anyone if I didn't have to, and followed up on things quickly. Unfortunately, all those traits meant my manager and even other team members saw no problem giving me even more tasks. Eventually the constant, unpredictable demands on my time, as well as the random fucking people popping by my cubicle and expecting me to entertain them with idle chitchat (and some other intolerable stuff about that place) made me break down and quit. It felt like I had no time for anything and that my time wasn't really mine, and I didn't know enough about setting boundaries or even managing my condition to understand why I was the only one working through lunch or stress-crying in the supply room with the lights off. Granted, that place was kinda shitty in general for other reasons, but with PDA tendencies it was unbearable.
Unrelated to PDA - does anyone get completely shut down from physical exhaustion? I swear some days I feel like a marionette with the strings taken out at the end of the day, or like the slightest movement requires overcoming an impossibly large amount of inertia.
No. 2060560
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I just have autism and didn't get a ADHD diagnosis (which is fine with me) but taking ritalin before bed helps me sleep. I don't have anything smart to say I just think it's neat. I'd think stimulants would keep me awake.
No. 2071174
>>2071073I think some people are just too far gone with the Big Pharma Bad mindset that they don't wanna admit medications do help a lot of people.
>this is why i can't get my fucking medicationI once experienced this for Bupropion, where my doctor had faxed the request but there was some sort of issue and the pharmacist was treating me like I was a crackhead for needing the pills, like interrogating me and asking if I sell them, etc.. Eventually I called my doctor and explained what the pharmacist was doing and then my doctor called the pharmacy to yell at them and the whole vibe change and suddenly I was being called ma'am and people were apologizing. I really do think at a certain point, people should be given more access to pills. I mean, if you've been on a medicine for more than 10 years surely the system can trust you to have more of your medicine instead of just the monthly dose? I think it would be good because then we'd have a backup for when the pharmacy doesn't have any left.
No. 2071335
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I saw this post on the vent thread
>>2071075 and it resonated with me because summer is hell for me too. Do any other spergs suffer from a similar fate? What are your tips for dealing with summer as an autist? I have to constantly wear sunglasses in the summer or else the bright sunlight irks me, sweating is something that induces tard rage in me so I have to use extra strength anti-antiperspirants, I like the warm weather but I can't do anything after it passes 20 degrees.
No. 2071599
>>2064975As someone who works with kids, I can't stand people who think like you. Meds are a godsend for the ADHD kids who need it. It helps them succeed immensely. Whereas the ones with ADHD who go unmedicated fall behind both academically and socially, and become increasingly frustrated about it. It is nothing like hormone blockers and that's an insane comparison to make.
>>2071335I hate summer. I'm very heat sensitive and become dehydrated quickly. Luckily chose a job where I don't work for much of the summer so I can just stay inside and be comfy.
No. 2072680
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I had an actual meltie at work today. Thank GOD it was not too bad but it was certainly a loss of all control for a few minutes. I very loudly shouted some profanities and then sobbed into my hands for a few minutes and wasn't able to do any work for the next hour. I got purely lucky that I was with my closest coworker (also ASD) and no managers were nearby (extremely rare this is the case) when I screamed. It's terrifying to know I can still lose control like that, since I wasn't looking around to see if people were around. I could have lost my job if a manager just saw me sobbing, acting feral, and yelling "FUCKING SHUT THE FUCK UP" over seemingly nothing. It was just a perfect storm of over stimulation and I was taken over the edge. I've had public meltdowns before but I've always been a high masker at work and been able to keep my shit together, or at the very least take any aggressive stimming to the bathroom. But damn, I'm kind of scared now.
No. 2072701
>>2064975I am so fucking tired of people like you. I've been unmedicated my entire life until my early 30s. all my life I've been a failure. I was hated by both students and teachers because of my inability to stay still and do what I was told. my parents just gave up on me at some point because they thought I was a lost cause. my academic life is a pile of failures and my self esteem is ruined after being told "she is intelligent but extremely lazy" year after year. I had no idea what was wrong with me so I just blamed myself for not doing better. I have literally punched myself on the face in front of my class because the teacher said she was just tired of dealing with me. my parents ignored any psychologist saying I had to go to a psychiatrist and/or needed medication, because they were people like you and thought medication was evil and harmful, oh they were "just trying to protect me". so I just went to a therapist once a week to be told "just don't do it" every single week, and every single week I would tell her "I tried but I couldn't" and she would just blame me for being useless. I was 11. I have tried to kill myself several times because I just hate myself and my inability to complete anything, my inability to just sit down and learn some skill, anything. I can only learn things by catching them on the air or when my brain decides I should obsess about something, but not enough so I can become actually proficient at it. it is so tiresome. 3 years ago I decided to give all this bullshit of going to psychiatrists and therapists a last chance before I offed myself and I was blessed with a doctor who actually listened to me, understood what I meant and offered me concerta. every doctor I've been too thought I had some type of bipolar because of the impulsivity. I was tired of being drugged with meds that did absolutely nothing and only made things worse. I can actually complete a task now. I don't feel so terrible about myself anymore, because of that. I don't feel addictive or impulsive urges, I quit drinking, smoking, imagine that. imagine if I didn't have those urges when I was in my school years. I could've done something with my life, instead of becoming a chainsmoker highschool dropout. but nooooooooooooo imagine giving amphetamines to kids, let them live miserable lives where they can instead get addicted to REAL drugs (not me saying that, studies say untreated ADHD patients are more likely to develop addictions, be in accidents, commit suicide, you name it) and just ruin their lives slowly so it doesn't bother you there are kids taking drugs YOU wish you were tweaking on. I hope you stub your toe every single day of your life. people like you denied me a fulfilled life. fuck you.
No. 2072756
>>2072739thank you for your kind words
nonny. I wasn't even actually lazy per se, I just had issues keeping up with writing, reading, doing math, etc and my teachers didn't seem to care if I or someone else stayed behind, they just wanted us to be quiet, so a lot of the times I was trying to pay attention but my mind wandered and I learned nothing. I had another classmate like me, but he was treated somewhat different, I feel like the teacher excused him way more often. his behavior changed completely around grade 7, I really think he started being medicated. I think I might have unsolved trauma about education settings in general because I really want to go back to school but thinking about it makes me petrified.
No. 2072902
File: 1719788419077.png (386.11 KB, 1170x1126, 1663284392787.png)
Does anyone have any autism whitepills? Staring down the barrel of 30 with this condition is really getting me down. There's so much I want to change and do with my life but I'm afraid it'll never happen for me
No. 2073266
>>2072902'NTs are boring NPCs!!' is incorrect and an annoying cope but i get why some think that.
My whitepills are
>You are an autistic woman, not a man. That's noticeably better than being an asperger man, whether we're talking about pure social ability or presentation. Yes, a lot of it is due to socialization, sex differences and the fact that people are less forgiving of faux pas for women in general, but the outcome is beneficial.
>Being autistic shields you from extreme anxiety around norms and feminine scriptingThis one took me very long to appreciate because i have a past with panic attacks and being slightly less compliant was harshly punished. But, hearing this from normal women made me appreciate my autism a little. Their way of saying it was 'you are less concerned with [bullshit] and i really like that in you' and i could see why when they'd describe the rest of their social life. Also, even if you struggle with anxiety episodes or a complex around autism, the fact is autistic women are much more likely to go 'kek don't care' when people around us try to get us to care about pointless social minutiae. I'm sure that if you look back, you'll realize that you were completely oblivious to a lot of things and that might sting, but it also means you have less of a mental burden on a day-to-day basis.
And yeah, hanging with other spergs does wonders. Even if it's very occasional, it feels like sticking your head out of water. If you end up befriending an autist you don't find annoying it's even better.
No. 2073355
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i haven’t had a single friend since i was 15. turning 24 soon. should i kill myself or does it ever get better?
No. 2073364
>>2072701>because they were people like you and thought medication was evil and harmfulkek sorry you got
triggered and felt personally attacked. Nobody said medication is evil. Harmful? Well yes, EVERY medication has negative side effects. The post was specifically about CHILDREN, not about fully grown adults in their 30s.
>I was tired of being drugged with meds that did absolutely nothing and only made things worse. Mhm were you now, hypocritical much?
>people like you denied me a fulfilled life. fuck you.I legit think your meds aren't working as well as you think they are, there is nothing calm or controlled about this post and it's filled with hyperactive rage and a lack of control of your emotions. If I contribute to your life sucking simply by maintaining basic safe-guarding for kids, then I'll happily let your life suck.
No. 2073369
>>2073192>What does NT mean?NeuroTypical. Non-autist/ADHD haver with a normal brain.
I don't use it and the matching "neurodiverse" which was used to mean specifically "ASD + ADHD" but much like trans it now means "anyone who says they are so" and iirc the creator of the term endorsed using it for all sorts of things like being trans, ocd, depression etc so imo both words have lost their meaning.
No. 2073768
File: 1719852801811.jpg (65.65 KB, 837x837, truth.JPG)
>>2073118True I do think NTs tend to be boring followers
>>2073119>>2073138Yea I really need to make some aspie friends at this point. I'm way too isolated
>>2073266The idea that I'm breaking rules without realizing it does make me feel bad though. I can't help being nlog but I don't want to be a freak either. Idk I guess I should just learn to lean into it if I'm going to be a freak either way
>'you are less concerned with [bullshit] and i really like that in you'That literally sounds like some passive aggressive female NT bullshit kek
No. 2073825
>>2073807You are right in the sense that the vast majority of things are more fun when you're doing them with other people. You are also right that you probably have bad vibes that are pushing other people away. That said, pushing yourself to find friends is like being an incel who scrambles to try and find a girlfriend. Desperation repels people. You might think your earnest attempts at connection are not desperate but they are, normie women have finely tuned systems that make them turn strange people away. Ironically you have more of a chance to make friends with men but they are never going to give you the same fulfillment of a female friendship, and you put yourself at great risk for harassment.
Is my tactic of keeping my cool and being as autonomous as possible going to work out in the long run? Possibly, or maybe I will die alone. But I'm never going to act desperate for other people to be around me, I will work on myself, be true to myself and hopefully rework myself in a way where I stop giving out a negative aura and I start to attract people.
No. 2073866
>>2073768>That literally sounds like some passive aggressive female NT bullshit kek You think? Lol
The women who told me this were close friends so i assumed it was sincere appreciation instead of subtle 'retarded pet' treatment but what do i know
>The idea that I'm breaking rules without realizing it does make me feel bad thoughRight? I hate it and it's my default state but on a meta level, i try to picture a benevolent person who appreciates autism for these reasons (could be about autistic creativity or honesty, etc). Such people are rare but i try to imagine autists aren't annoying 100% of the time to onlookers. Okay maybe this is cope and not a whitepill. I maintain that autism in women can balance out negative socially-induced problems
No. 2074002
>>2072902Get to know other autistics if you can. I realize I just get along with most other autistic women instead of driving random people into (ironic) tard rage for standing around and doing nothing and giving off uncanny valley no matter how hard I try. If there's something I hate about autism it's that if I walk into a room, class, meeting etc and do or say absolutely nothing and people just hate me for no reason I know everyone knows I have the 'tism. So, since I can't hide it, I tell people I have the 'tism which they believe instantly (kek) then generally I find myself in less trouble afterwards. Save for
>creepy moids who see me as easy prey>girl groupies who selectively exclude due to female rivalry>that specific kind of boomer or gen x woman who's hobby is holding grudges against women half her age The way other women can band around a single autistic woman is scary and I'm not surprised it has pushed many over the precipice of NLOGism and spawned a million of those retarded images. If you're getting ganged up on by other women for seemingly no reason I'll let you in on a secret, they're NT and have sniffed out you're a sperg despite your mask. just accept it before it becomes painful and you feel betrayed for being excluded
>>2073266>the fact is autistic women are much more likely to go 'kek don't care' when people around us try to get us to care about pointless social minutiae.>you'll realize that you were completely oblivious to a lot of things and that might sting,I have no idea if that factoid about autistic women going through phases much later than their counterparts is real or just a meme but it really fits for me. It sounds stupid but I felt and acted like a complete child all throught my teens and only in my 20s did I start acting and feeling like a typical teenager. Now that I'm in my 30s, I feel like I'm in my 20s. I don't know how to word this without sounding like a flex because I actually really don't like it, I have a hard time talking to anyone my age. I only get along with anyone younger or older. This is not a good thing. It has never been a good thing for me.
No. 2074380
>>2074002>>2073119>>2073266Nta but I get so uncomfortable around other autistics, being around someone even slighty spergy raises my hackles in a way that takes a long time to soothe afterwards. It's even more exhausting than being around NTs.
Actually I do want to connect with other autistics for the solidarity and understanding but I have to get it through anonymous text on Lolcow because IRL I just want to scream in their faces. Idk what to do, does anyone else feel this?
No. 2074432
>>2074380>does anyone else feel this?I used to feel scared and annoyed by other autists too but it was more a reflection of my own personal issues with my diagnosis and also a deep fear of actually
being a sperg. It was basically just self-hatred that seeped out of me and influenced how I felt around others similar to me.
No. 2074437
>>2073668i literally have 63726 hobbies to the point where i can’t make time for all of them and still wish I had company. yeah yeah i ward people off with my weirdness or whatever.
>>2073668you should worry more. when i was 5 years into it i didn’t care. it started to hurt past 2 years or so. it will catch up to you one day lol
No. 2074710
>>2073666>Is it possible that I have just been an extreme procrastinator since childhood or that I may possibly have ADHD?Rule of thumb, never assume you have a specific disorder (not just ADHD) until you've explored every other possible reason. Do not self-diagnose.
For example for ADHD, you could be intolerant of common foods that make you feel sluggish all the time, you could have sleep apnea and insomnia that make you constantly a bit tired, unchecked allergies, your family upbringing might have been chaotic so you were stressed all the time and had a hard time focusing, you were plopped down in front of tv, games, social media and it fried your dopamine receptors so now you only respond to immediate stimulation, you were born late in the year and/or were taller than your peers and were thus always expected and assumed to be older and more mature than you really were which made adults constantly disappointed in you and you took it to heart thinking you were immature and lazy (kids born late in the year are more often diagnosed with ADHD for these reasons).
You could also have ADHD, but first make sure at a very base you're good on 3 things: Consistent quality sleep. Regular healthy eating. A future goal you're motivated to meet.
You really need all 3 of them, it can't be just 2/3. If you've got all 3 and still don't function you can start looking into if you have a disorder. Speaking from experience, if you're healthy but have no aspirations or goals you will still be lazy and do nothing at all. If there is nothing on my schedule I get 0 things done at all that day. If I have things to do I somehow magically have 50 times more energy. I think a lot of kids/young adults are called "lazy" when in reality they just feel aimless and hopeless about the future and can't see the point in doing things like working when they know they can't ever afford a house anyway.
No. 2074714
>>2074002>>the fact is autistic women are much more likely to go 'kek don't care' when people around us try to get us to care about pointless social minutiae.This, but about bullshit like troon ideology. His feelings are hurt if I refer to him as a man who forces his way into female spaces? Too bad, I say what I see.
And also the way autists use science and proof instead of accepting lies at face value, because that's "nice".
No. 2075179
>>2075123Yes, you just gotta correct them with "that's what I said, you misheard me" every time until you learn to be a bit louder. But do try saying it jokingly and not like you're annoyed with them, even if you are.
It's difficult tho because to me it always sounded like everyone else was pretty much shouting and I was the only one speaking normally, and I just couldn't shout. Speaking at their level mentally really felt like if you were to suddenly in a public space scream at the top of your lungs; you just know that's rude, startling and socially not accepted so you don't want to do it - you CAN'T do it. That's what it felt like.
Honestly one thing that helped me overcome it was meeting people who were as soft spoken and quiet as me. Then it became clear to me that "oh I can't hear this guy and it's making conversation really difficult. Huh I guess people really can't hear what I'm saying either and I really do need to be louder".
You always hear your own voice louder (and deeper) because your voice echos through your skull into your ears, so you're not as loud as you perceive yourself.
The way I've been able to make most progress is by recording myself speaking. I'd read from a book or article or anything. Then I listened back to get used to hearing my own voice and cadence. It feels super cringe at first but you get used to it. It allowed me to simply build confidence while speaking and then I could experiment with different tones or ways of speaking. I'd only do it when alone kek. Eventually I managed to speak a bit louder without feeling like I was shouting, and I haven't gotten asked to speak up or been misheard majorly in years now (used to be very regular). I'm still not loud but at least now people can hear me!
No. 2075872
>>2071826Why would we give medication to kids who don't need medication…? That's like injecting insulin into kids who don't have diabetes. I really don't get what your point is, other than you seem to think ADHD kids shouldn't be medicated even though it helps them so much.
>>2073119My local one is filled with troons/genderspecials and it really bums me out. I went just once and was so uncomfortable.
No. 2076809
>>2075123>Like no bitch 20 is too fucking big why would anybody say that?This is making me kek. I can hear the anger.
Like
>>2075179 said, it's all about practice. I had similar problems to you, for a long time I was always so anxious to speak that I often spoke very quickly and stumbled on my words. I speak dialect accent different from most people around me besides, so it was difficult for others to parse what I had said. I ended up taking time every morning to read aloud phrases from magazines in the clearest way I could manage while looking at my mouth in the mirror. After a few weeks of practicing enunciation this way, I could speak much clearer but I still had the pace problem. Now when I talk to people, I have to consciously remind myself to slow it down, usually if I'm talking to someone I rely on their facial expressions to gauge whether or not they understand me. Over time, my confidence around others increased a lot.
No. 2076869
>>2076847I take both bupropion and escitalopram, started maybe like in April? For sure escitalopram makes you gain weight. I actually bupropion alone because I felt it made me less “hungry” or focused on foods, too bad it was terrible at managing my moods. I was often crying or getting heated easily which isn’t typical of me, so I had to get escitalopram. It sucks though because it really lowers your libido, and mine was already lower than average. I also got Xanax prescribed but was told to only take it whenever I anticipate I will be in a situation that I know “
triggers” me, so like conferences, meetings, etc. I usually only take that once a week; it really mellows you out. Makes me feel calmer than usual and I like it because the one day I go into the office and have to deal with the idiots there I can tolerate it much better. Just kinda wish I could go off the escitalopram but I know I can’t.
No. 2076896
>>2074420It's not happening on purpose, I'm not feeding into it by seething about how gross they are, it is a deeply uncomfortable gut reaction I'm trying to suppress. I would never say any of this to their faces. Did you read the part where I said I wanted autist friends?
>>2076449Happy for you, but I don't know why it happens, that's why I'm asking.
>>2074432Thanks for answering, it makes sense. What did you do to get over it?
No. 2076989
>>2076847thanks anon, i was taking wellbutrin but i think it's fucking with my blood pressure now that i'm in my early 30s and taking adderall; it was fine at 22 but idk now. thank you for the rec re: escitalopram bc i will ask about that in two weeks, i appreciate you
>>2076869 thank you anon. i hope things have gotten easier. trying to navigate medication is so fucking hard
>>2076886 ty, she gave me a bunch of options and i said dealer's choice bc i've only ever taken wellbutrin, so she rec'd an SSRI and lexapro was the one she thought might work but if it doesn't, i'll ask for that next, ty
>>2076913 lol that's why i've only been on wellbutrin for SAD ugggghhhh i don;t wan't to be a sexless person but at this juncture i don't even have sex with my husband at all bc i'm so depressed and anxious so being alive is better than not having sex
(integrate) No. 2077935
>>2076479thank you nona! i’m sorry there isn’t stuff like that where you live. (i honestly think i’m very fortunate, i don’t think it’s common here either but i happen to live close to this particular school that has the course idk if there’s anything like it anywhere else in my country.)
i hope you’re able to meet other nice autists anyway and have a nice support net, it sucks that autism is seen as a childhood disorder. we can all need help and guidance, regardless of age.
No. 2078009
>>2076896>Thanks for answering, it makes sense. What did you do to get over it?It's really dependent on the person. Like for me, when I was a kid I couldn't control my voice level and everyone always said I was annoying for being loud so I developed a neurosis about it. When I was in my teens I was always quiet because I was sort of afraid to be loud and feel embarrassed, so whenever I was around other spergs with trouble controlling their voice I'd always feel a deep sense of second-hand embarrassment. Eventually I got over this from introspection and figuring out why I felt that way, I realized that if the other person isn't embarrassed to be loud, why should I feel embarrassment for them? Then, if the other person can be loud sometimes and not be embarrassed, why should I feel embarrassed? And so on and so on. Now I don't have a neurosis about it anymore, I can be loud sometimes, others can be loud sometimes, I can even tolerate screaming more and I think it helped me become more assertive. You just have to introspect about what about other spergs makes you feel annoyed or scared, and how that relates to your experiences and feelings and how to navigate them.
No. 2078233
>>2075997I'm so glad this kind of hopeful post exist in this thread. Now I'm deathly curious if there's any service like this where I live.
>>2074386Sorry I didn't see your reply. My cycle is extremely irregular (every few months), and I've seen a gyno about it with a full round of exams, and it's mainly my protein and sugar intake, so I cut down hard on the carbs and sugars while attempting to increase my protein intake. It's still pretty irregular so I feel like I should go back. You've granted me an interesting perspective though. I'm trying to scramble for whatever medication or correct habits I can find when it could be a sign of unrest from my body. I sound a lot more hopeful than I actually am though. Should I go back for another round of exams?
No. 2078282
>>2074380I don't feel like that towards fellow level 1s, but level 2s and 3s make me super fucking uncomfortable. Like seeing someone wearing noise earmuffs, flapping their arms, grunting and screaming at the top of their lungs. I just can't believe I have the same disorder as them.
Speaking of which, is anyone else annoyed that the Asperger's label was taken from us? I understand why it needed to be changed, but instead of changing it to something else, they just shoved everything under the general autism label. I really feel like I have something significantly different than these very high needs people and that it should have a separate name to reflect that. Is that just me?
No. 2078810
My local university’s HR department has a special subdivision for working with disabled people (including high functioning autistic people) and they’re helping me find a job at the university. The lady who’s been assigned my case is really nice and says she has worked with tons of spergs like me yet she doesn’t seem to understand that I take things literally. Like she wrote “we’ll figure X out together in July after I’m back from my break” so I waited until July to contact her about X, and now she’s all surprised I haven’t already done X by myself. I’ve looked into it and figured out a plan but I haven’t taken any steps yet because she told me we’d do it together and she was on break. Was I supposed to disregard what she actually wrote and assume she meant something else? Why? Why not write what you mean?? I understand that taking things too literally is an autistic trait and I’m the weird one in this interaction but this shit drives me up the wall, nonnies.
>>2078282I feel the same way. Like the other anon, I tell people I have Asperger’s instead of autism. The handful of times I have used the word autism people started acting really uncomfortable around me like they expected me to start screaming at any moment. The only time I’ve ever been “corrected” it was by a self-diagnosed munchie whose whole identify was wrapped up in being disabled.
No. 2079143
>>2079124I can believe this. He has all the criteria for unpleasantness (male, successful in one specific domain, is dubbed a genius, etc)
Rereading my post and
>but get cocky and display unpleasant cockinessKEK my bad
No. 2079326
>>2078233For periods, i started taking inositol and it really helped making things more regular, please look it up. You don't have to have PCOS for it to work.
As for habits, I also really struggled with going all-or-nothing, even accounting for my cycle. What helped me was scaling back my ambition and focusing on doing things every day that were like embarrassingly easy, so much so that there was no reason not to do it, and keeping it at that low level for longer than it feels like you should. Like if you can't brush your teeth every day, can you keep some xylitol gum by your bed?
I found I couldn't bring myself to go through the trouble of getting changed to work out, make myself follow the routine, and then shower after, so I started doing 10 kettlebell swings every day. I focused on maintaining that for several months, until I was really bored and ready to add more workouts. Now I'm going to the gym whenever I can.
Obv I don't know what habits you're struggling with, and I don't mean to sound like I've fixed it for myself either, I still struggle. But the solution to the boom-and-bust cycles is to keep it as simple as possible even on the good days, and to see building consistency as the marker of progress.
No. 2080683
>>2079054Only somewhat related but just the other day I realized that I generally only struggle with male level 1s. Or in other words, that I‘m struggling with pretty much all male level 1s, regardless of whether they have inflated egos or narcissistic tendencies.
Because you can tell they never had to mask a single day in their life and get by just fine. Because they’re boys they get a free pass with every single fucking thing. Men do already lack empathy and social awareness as is, now if you put autism on top it makes it even worse. So even if they’re trying to be somewhat sociable/socially adapt, they lack any ounce of common sense.
Autistic girls can be obnoxious too, obviously, but usually they at least TRY to adapt and better themselves, while I‘ve never met an autistic male of any age that ever thought about trying to adapt to their social circle.
No. 2080876
>>2080683Same. Some do better (level 1s with high neuroticism or conscientiousness) but they still betray their male socialization all the time.
>>2080861SNS seems to be almost designed to terrorize spergs (everything is embedded in a web of frienships/rivalries (which are not always clear), mutual surveillance, screenshotting mistakes, limited capacity to add context so you can easily be misinterpreted…). Imageboards and forums are relatively much more relaxed. If you're cautious you can avoid becoming a recognizable poster, the focus is more on things that interest you or discussions that are more or less devoid of extra parasitic information. A long infight bears no consequences on a sperg's social circle. You don't have to repeatedly burn bridges after offending NTs and you don't have to worry about your image as an annoying tard. Forums combine both elements of IBs and SNS but still are slower, leaving more time to take in new info and reply without embarrassing yourself
No. 2080916
>>2080876As weird as it sounds I found that as a sperg I get along best with psychopathic types
They seem to figure out that I'm an autist and just drop the social approval mask and don't care about me fucking up social cues or being inappropriate
Of course you don't want to trust these types of people but I find them easier to be around
No. 2083295
>>2083172Im sorry I don't have any advice for you but I see a lot of people who are self diagnosed with autism act like literal children. It's so fucking weird. There will be 20 something year olds who have previously never had issues communicating buying communication cards like the ones literal nonverbal children use and having "stim attacks" on camera where they act like kids. Or the chew toy necklaces.
I think they want fewer responsibilities and just lean in hard to the autism self diagnosis.
No. 2083372
>>2083354Sometimes stress builds up and we don't even realize it. When we're stressed out, we can be quick to feel negative emotions like anger, despair, etc., so it's best to keep our stress levels at a minimum so we can be relaxed. You have to become better at recognizing the feelings of stress within you, and familiarize yourself with how you act when you're past your stressed threshold. Ask yourself, what stressors do you deal with every day? Figure out ways to handle stress and cope with your stressors. For me, this looks like planning my days better so that I don't have as many appointments or close together, I find having 2 days a week where I can be alone and sort myself out is great for managing my stress. Another way I manage my stress if by going on walks in a natural setting, like a park, and just absorbing nature. Being around trees and rivers and shit like that really helps calm people down. When I started working 40 hour weeks, I found it really difficult to be around people because I didn't give myself enough time every day to de-stress. It takes effective time management, but I managed to carve out an hour per day where I was alone and focused on "me" so I could de-stress.
No. 2083388
>>2083172Ime, it depends on how long it has been since she had “confirmation”.
When I was diagnosed, I acted a lot like her. I was happy not because I was autistic but because I finally knew the roots of lots of suffering and trauma, I felt like I could finally reframe myself as a person, my experience and build my present and future with tools I needed before.
It’s common for autistic people to “regress” because of unmasking for the first time. I quickly snapped out of it when my husband made me notice I was leaving behind the part of me that could function (or try to) in society.
Try talking to her as a friend, without judgement. Good luck!
No. 2084132
>>2083960>Out of curiosity, does anyone here have an autism diagnosis but never was outcasted/bullied in school?Me, a sibling and a friend of mine are all diagnosed autists and none of us were bullied (separately, didn't go to the same schools). It really depends on the place/culture. Bullying is very common in America compared to my European country. It's rarer, and where when it happens here is a lot milder. (There are actual studies comparing it all, I've worked with children and learned about it then.)
However! I knew one moid autist who sort of confessed (and I figured out out from context clues) that as a teen he was one of those cringe edge-lords who loved to make people feel uncomfortable for fun. I'd count that as being a type of bully.
And with all that said we were still seen as "the weird kid" on some level. Like people knew something was a bit off but they didn't care enough to bully us.
No. 2085164
>>2084132>Like people knew something was a bit off but they didn't care enough to bully us.That's so nice, I'm glad that didn't happen to you, sounds like an interesting study. I wonder why it's more commonplace in America.
>>2083966Like the other nona said, I've noticed now a lot of people who seem like bullies or even try to exclude me as an adult claim to be "neurospicy" or "so adhd/autistic". There was this girl I briefly became friends with that I told I was a sperg and she was like "I think I might be too but my doctor said I have BPD" after spending more time with her it's clear she's not an autist and just a weird jealous person who is trying to skin walk me and simultaneously exclude me. That's just one example. The worst one I've come across is a therapist who claims to be autistic, from a support group I was in and she's just one of those twitterfag genderspecials, hated my guts and made sure I knew it.
No. 2085213
>>2085164>"I think I might be too but my doctor said I have BPD"I think they're just BPD then but autism is a "nicer" diagnosis so they pretend it's that.
>The worst one I've come across is a therapist who claims to be autistic, from a support group I was in and she's just one of those twitterfag genderspecials, hated my guts and made sure I knew it.Sorry you had to experience that, but god she sounds like she'd be such a hilarious lolcow to follow online
No. 2085223
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>>2085211i'm a huge pokemonfag, and i swear at least 50% of women who are into it are autists too
No. 2087398
>>2085733You usually don't even have to talk back, just nod and use filler words like: oh? Mhm. Yeah. Ok, sounds nice. cool.
And they'll be happy most of the time. I don't actually care about what they're saying, I've just mastered acting like I'm listening.
No. 2087399
>>2085985>Being introverted and awkward =/= autismI wanna ask a question to everyone related to this. Do you feel you are awkward?
Asking because my impression is that for the most part us autist don't feel the awkwardness, the awkwardness is what others feel because the autist unknowingly does something socially incorrect. You need a lot of social awareness to realize that others are subtly acting strange around you in response to something you did and to figure out you must have done something socially wrong and to internalize that as bad and feel awkward. I can only really spot it when it's my (also autistic) friends who do something off compared to the normies around us, and even then usually I don't "feel" that it's awkward I just think "huh, I guess she does that differently than the normies and they don't seem to like it".
No. 2087422
>>2087399I have been acutely aware of my awkwardness since I was around 10 years old, give or take. Maybe it’s a cultural thing but in my experience, people (especially other women and especially teenage girls) are not subtle about it when they think I’m being weird. I have enough social awareness to tell when someone is sneering at me, or rolling their eyes, or turns their back to me, or makes a point of talking over me and changing the subject. When all of my school ‘friends’ suddenly drop all contact with me over the summer holidays but do hang out together during that time, I notice. When my workplace has a ladies’ night out and I’m the only woman not invited, I notice. I wasn’t diagnosed until my early twenties and had insane amounts of social anxiety as a teen because I could tell I was doing something wrong but no one could ever explain to me what it was or how to fix it. After my diagnosis I had social skills training, but that focused only on the obvious e.g. don’t interrupt people, don’t touch people, don’t sperg out about the same subject for 30 minutes straight without letting anyone else get a word in. My faux pas are apparently more subtle so the training was no help with that. Even nt people who know me well and regularly observe me in social situations can’t tell me what specifically I’m doing wrong aside from being rather quiet. It’s a “vibe” or something. I wish I could either be normal or more oblivious because this middle ground is fucking hellish.
No. 2087773
>>2087399I think i was aware subconsciously as a kid that other people behaved differently than I did, that I there was something that I didn't understand, but I thought everyone felt like that. Other people would call me 'different', but I thought everyone was masking like me (and they were just better at it), and part of being in a culture was pretending to like hanging out in big groups and being catty. I didn't actually engage much with that type of socialising, and I thought how sad it was there weren't more people like me who felt comfortable being themselves. Surely if I was being super weird, somebody would helpfully explain it directly to my face, right? Lol.
I thought I was doing a great job masking until my dad got diagnosed in my mid 20s, and I started to question myself and other people about what was normal. Also I think I got burnout because my sensory issues went crazy. Looking back, now I know the signs of nt people signalling that you're acting weird, they were doing it all the time.
I think I got away with it because I was conventionally attractive in a cute way, and alt, so people put a lot of it down to quirkiness?
No. 2087790
>>2087399Tbh, I only noticed I was awkward around my mid 20's, until then I felt like the hate I received wasn't in any shape or form justified.
It was only then that I noticed how awkward I am, and it makes me wonder just how much of a mess I am as of now.
No. 2087796
>>2087422>have been acutely aware of my awkwardness since I was around 10 years old>had insane amounts of social anxiety as a teen because I could tell I was doing something wrongBut aren't those different things? Do you actually feel awkwardness or do you just feel anxious because you know something is wrong but you don't know what it is?
>>2087790Aw nona! I'm sure you're not that bad, and receiving "hate" is rarely justified unless you were straight up an asshole to people on purpose. And even now, do you actually feel awkward acting those ways or do you now just know that others may feel it around you?
No. 2087824
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>>2087796I mostly feel awkward /after/ whatever I said made things really, really awkward or after I do my usual debriefing of the day with myself, then I feel really awkward and try to cope thinking that it may have not been that bad.
It's so annoying, I'm quick to see patterns or react to many things (ie: catching something before it falls on the ground) I can make stories and characters out of the blue and make up nice names for characters/brands/places, I can make slogans easily and think of businesses.
But the moment I have to engage in a conversation I blurt out the most retarded shit or zone out and then blurt out retarded shit because I don't know what to say or I somehow forget an important answer to a question.
Make it stop, please.
No. 2087931
>>2087422>I have been acutely aware of my awkwardness since I was around 10 years old.I relate to you a lot. I think I first realized I was different age 8 or 9, but only around age 14 did I finally realize my own awkwardness. It's weird because it dawned on me so suddenly one day, that the things that I was doing were wrong or strange or awkward. I think that's when I first really concentrated on developing an adequate mask. It was like I was totally on autopilot until I was 14, only then did I take a step back in my own conscience and realize.
>>2087399>I wanna ask a question to everyone related to this. Do you feel you are awkward?I feel very awkward when I'm amongst a lot of others, like when I'm walking on the sidewalk for example I feel very very awkward just walking. It's weird but when I'm around a lot of other people, I want to try very hard to blend in so I'll always be thinking say "Am I walking right? Too fast? Too slow? How are others walking?" On certain streets people speed-walk down without looking up, and on other streets people casually stroll while looking around. I always try to match the general mood of the atmosphere around me, that I can perceive anyway. I feel like I somehow take up space weirdly or wrong when I'm out and about. When I'm in a closed off space with fewer people, I don't feel this same anxiety.
I don't feel awkward when I interact with others though, especially one on one. I read a lot of conversation skills and communication skills books when I was a teenager and young adult, and I really worked hard on because more extroverted and out-going. I'm proud of how well I can interact with others. Sometimes I get overwhelmed or miss a cue, or make the wrong expression, but I've gotten very good at 'masking' so to speak. Most people enjoy conversing with me and I don't mind talking with strangers (although if they approach me I take an extra second to register what's happening kek). I don't struggle much anymore with that dread of "oh am I me or is my mask me?" anymore because I prescribe to the crystallized self theory. I go to an adults with aspergers support group too, and it's good to talk with other spergs about stuff and relate with them.
No. 2088227
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More of a vent than anything but tonight made me realise how much my autism actually affects me socially. Got invited on a night out with a few coworkers and their friends, everything was going fine then I just get hit with a massive wave of over stimulation to the point where I had to straight up leave. Also to mention we were drinking and the other issue with this is that I don’t want to rely on alcohol to help me socially so I set a strict 3 drink only rule which I stuck to. This is becoming a more often occurrence and I’m not handling it well. I want to get close to people and do fun activities with them, but how can I do that when I can’t even be with them for more than a few hours without wanting to runaway back home and hide in my room. They have made it very clear that they like me and keep inviting me to things but I feel so guilty I can’t give them my all without wanting to run away and feeling like I’m gonna crawl out of my skin.
No. 2089195
>>2088227Would it be feasible to explain your sensory issues to them? I had the same problem with people in college who only ever wanted to hang out in the context of clubs/parties/noisy pubs and like you, I just can’t function in those environments for long. Back then they thought I was just making excuses but I feel like nowadays there’s so much more awareness of sensory difficulties and overstimulation that there’s a good chance your coworkers will understand.
>>2089044Every girl I know would avoid the awkward weird boys like the plague because you never know how a boy like that will react when he thinks he has a chance with you. One of them stalked a girl for over a year after she was assigned to do a group project with him. I wouldn’t be surprised if this trope is just a self-victimising role reversal wish fulfilment fantasy in the same vein as when moids thought succubi would seduce them to steal their sperm. Everything men accuse us of is something they (want to) do to us.
No. 2089973
>>2088227Like
>>2089195 said, you could explain the sensory issues to them. My best excuse for this is that I'm "prone to migraines," and that when I'm in a loud place for too long I risk "having a migraine tomorrow morning." I find coming up with little white lies for these sorts of things easier than trying to dump my life and my issues onto others. If you still want to go out with them, research lounges in your area. Usually they're much quieter and have less going on, so they're my go-to since I can't do the whole loud club atmosphere.
No. 2090149
>>2089044>Seeing moids on TikTok whine about their empathy for the autistic boy who would get asked out as a joke by the popular girls in high school makes me laugh because this literally never happens kek.Yeah, I'm convinced this has never happened at any time in any place on earth. It's a made up mean girl trope, real girls avoid weird guys because they're a potential threat. And if they really are popular they're usually not an asshole because then people would dislike them.
And if they for some reason are both mean AND popular they still would be risking losing their social status by asking the weirdo out, and they'd potentially be stuck with him at their heels all day. Even us autist females know that! If anything all it would do is start rumors that she's so slutty she even tried to get with the weird guy.
And if she was so autistic that she didn't know that… let's just say she wouldn't be the popular one kek
No. 2092588
>>2092548I still use it, every aspie i know irl also still use it. If they've got a problem with it they can all eat my ass(pergers) kek
>>2091141>Amazing how they manage to live fuller and more social/crowd filled lives than most disorder free people do but can never downgrade to saying their anxiety is just the boring regular type.Yeah like, they clearly just do not suffer from an extreme anxiety disorder like they always claim. Me at my worst socially anxious phase as an awkward teen had trouble even leaving the house, I ended up sobbing on the floor instead. I wouldn't even have called that extreme, nor would I have classified it as a disorder because I was literally in the middle of being a hormonal insecure teen. I had anxiety those days, that's it.
No. 2095940
>>2095577Same. I hate how I take things literally and need people to be super direct with me. I feel like I “missed the memo” and I’m lacking whatever mind-reading superpower everyone else has. I used to cry a lot when I was a kid because my mom would to get mad at me and say that I was “more like a boy” because I’m so unaware of my surroundings and other people’s emotions. Whereas to me, it just feels like people aren’t saying what they mean! How am I supposed to know the difference! It’s confusing as fuck.
Like
Person: I’m FINE!
>Oh okay they said they’re fine, nothing to worry about>goes on with my day>okay they’re acting like they’re mad at me? >does not compute?? It always leads to arguments and me getting frustrated and feeling retarded for not “getting it” and the other person remaining mad at me and thinking I’m being an asshole. it’s not fun or quirky at all and I just wish I knew what it was like to be normal and just be able to “read the room”.
No. 2098389
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So fucking tired of not being able to get my meds and just having to scrape by at school. I know I am capable of so much better, I know I keep making stupid, small mistakes. I know all of this. But the propensity to fuck up and shit the bed is literally in my nature. I cannot overcome it on my own.
No. 2099821
>>2098389>I cannot overcome it on my own.Not to be all "just beleev in urself uwu" but if you truly believe that you can't do something, it becomes reality no matter if it was actually true or not to begin with. I'm speaking from experience, I used to be 100% sure there were things I couldn't and wouldn't ever be able to do on my own. And now I do them on my own. It wasn't really about "believing in myself" as normies would constantly try to tell me, it was more just… accepting that trying and failing is ok. That half-assing things means I can half-ass the other half later and then I actually did the full thing in the end. That just because it's not "perfect" to my own standards or not done the conventional way doesn't mean it's not good enough or done at all. I also thought it would be impossible for me to ever live without anti-depressants, that "my brain chemistry is just too fucked up and not working like in a normal person" and now I'm meds free, have less anxiety and feel happier and more stable than ever before in my entire life. I was utterly convinced that couldn't happen - I KNEW that it would never happen. Yet now here I am.
I was thinking about how you said
>I know I keep making stupid, small mistakes. I know all of this. But the propensity to fuck up and shit the bed is literally in my nature.All this tells me is you have a lot of self-hatred. You call yourself stupid and someone who fucks up - over what you yourself admit are both small and mistakes.
No. 2100721
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anyone else have autism but absolutely hate schedules? i unironically have nightmares about schedules.
No. 2101187
>>2100721I love knowing exactly what to do, especially if it's fun. Like imagine a fun summer camp schedule, that has me going "heck yeah" because I know all of these fun things are coming up, I don't have to plan anything by myself, I know I won't accidentally miss anything, I know where I'll be and when etc love that.
But having even 1 "scary" thing on my schedule ruins my whole week. I was a chubby kid who hated both sports and my own body (being naked in front of other people gave me anxiety) so gym class felt like this big impending doom every week. For me the best day of the week wasn't the weekends, it was the day after gym class so I knew the next gym class was as far away as it could possibly be.
No. 2101908
>>2100721I cannot fucking do schedules for the life of me, so I think the "schedules" part of autism just means normalcy to me, because I really don't like change. This makes building habits difficult and quitting bad habits hard also. The way I've done schedules in my adult life is "today I will do x y and z" and leave it up to the wind and it's far more effective in getting me to do things because my discipline absolutely sucks and me setting a time to do something will not work and has never worked.
I take something I need to do at whichever time of day is most convenient and I set a timer of 1 to 2 hours. But I don't really like doing things this way. I want so badly to build schedules organically and be more disciplined, but I just cannot hold myself accountable. It's sooo irritating so if any anon has some advice I'd love to listen
>>2101859I haven't been on stimulants nearly as long as you but I'm surprised you're having withdrawals, I can quit cold turkey whenever and be fine. You might just not be used to your "normal" unmedicated energy levels. Power through it anon, you'll get used to it. Though it isn't something I've experienced personally, I've heard some anecdotes about quitting and having a harsh time adjusting. You have a month, so I have faith in you. Try to relax because stress will make things worse. And by relax I mean generally try to do relaxing things, massages, swimming, etc. Taking your mind off of the uncomfortable sensation might be better for you.
No. 2101985
>>2101859>Is this normal? Is this what being unmedicated is like?Yes, but no. After YEARS on a drug it's gonna take a long while to adjust. In general the longer you were on them, the longer the adjustment back will take. I wasn't on adderall but I'd say getting off my anti-depressants and axiety meds took at least half a year to feel "normal". They had told me "it takes a few weeks" but that was clearly not the case so I nearly gave up. Honestly at that point the only reason I didn't go back on them was that the doctor was such a fucking condescending cunt that I didn't want to have to talk to her ever again kek
I believe in you nona, it might sound silly but make sure the next month you do your utmost to relax and take care of yourself in all ways possible! Don't skip meals, make sure they're healthy too - forgive yourself for mistakes, relax as much as you can, take at least one walk outside every single day (in daylight). It will be ok!
No. 2102675
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found this in another thread and it made me smile
No. 2103364
>>2102675Made me smile too kek my friends and I are always being silly like that with each too.
>>2102320I think health checks are always wise if you can get them done. Wishing you the best of look nona!
No. 2103477
>>2103411Yeah it seems very likely. I cried when I found out what PDA was, because how do you explain that having to piss makes you angry without sounding like a drooling retard? Except apparently, it's a real thing.
Although not enough of a thing that psychologists or therapists or even the people themselves have any actual useful management strategies kek. Do you have any? Mostly I have to pretend to myself that I'm not actually doing the thing I need to do, or I work myself into enough of a panic that adrenaline helps force it, although both are exhausting.
Ideally I would like to find some sort of therapy or exercise that helps me reduce demand avoidance symptoms over time.
>>2101187>>2101229Amazing, my brain drags me screaming in the other direction of even fun things I want to do. It's like driving with a handbrake on the whole time.
No. 2109665
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>>2099821I only just now saw this reply so sorry to reply late
nonny.
I appreciate the kind words and advice but I do genuinely need meds to function. I inherited the same gene that has led to multiple generations of my family to kill themselves without treatment. The times I go off my meds it gets worse for me. And maybe one day I won’t need my adhd meds to function, but right now life circumstances are such that any little bit of help is a huge relief. I won’t get into it but I have had a really rough year and my meds genuinely make everything tolerable when I can get them. And yes I do have self-hatred but it’s because laughably small tasks are almost impossible for me to do on my own currently. It’s just another thing I have to deal with when I am literally at my limit already. I do appreciate the kind words and advice nona, I am just so unbelievably tired.
No. 2110436
>>2109543I forget things if I don't do them regularly, so not exactly the same. However I have a habit of writing down solutions in Google docs which i highly recommend. Doesn’t matter how stupid the thing feels to write down, they're just for me anyway.
So for example, I forget how the laundry machine works. Idk why, it's just one of those things my brain goes brrrrr over even though I've had it explained to me multiple times. So I took actual pictures, and wrote down exactly what I need to know to do it. I also write down anything I think might confuse me if/when I've forgotten how to do it. Like "the on/off button is different than the start button. The top one is start."
So I have an easy step by step guide to follow when I need to use that machine.
I also make sure to write down a bunch of keywords that I can use to search it up again, like "washing, clothes, laundry, detergent, bleach, brandname".
Before I do my laundry I read the guide so when I go down to do it I look like I know what I'm doing even though five minutes ago I didn't remember anything about it kek
I use the same document for similar problems, I have 1 for work related things, and one for cleaning the house etc. It helps a lot!
No. 2110447
>>2109665You're not them nona. It's good to be mindful of them taking their lives and how that reflects onto you but you're still a whole different person with different perspectives and possibilities.
It's easy to get lost in all the things you can't do, but try to focus on what you can do. If those people were ghosts I'm sure they'd all tell you they regret it and that they wished they had given themselves more time to figure things out, and that they hope you'll be able to have faith in yourself the way they couldn't do it for themselves. I hope you get your meds and are able to feel more confident soon nona.
No. 2112447
>>2109665I'm the same as you, my frontal lobe is so fried that I literally can't function without medication.
If you're having problems with stimulants (either getting them, or like in my case you can't tolerate their side effects) you should look up amantadine and ask your doctor about it.
It is a non-stimulant medication that helps ADHD symptoms as well as anxiety/depression and its not controlled so its cheap and easily available.
Adderall would turn me into an emotionless zombie and give me shakes and anxiety but amantadine is about 90% as good as adderall but without any of the stimulant effects or anxiety
No. 2114926
>>2113277Not to be that person but Adderall helps everyone. It's a feel good drug. That's why it's so beneficial for college students and office workers alike.
>deal with invalidating themselvesNot as an attack on you but I think this is a silly mindset to have. I never understood what "
valid" even was supposed to mean. How can you "invalidate" yourself? You can doubt yourself, and question yourself, but this is natural and normal and it's not a "bad" thing like how so many people view it as. It's normal to question things about your diagnoses and health. I think everyone should be less focused on "
valid" and "invalid" and just focus on feeling what they're feeling and exploring their thoughts in a healthy way.
No. 2130644
>>2130159Pardon me for theorizing, but if it was me I would definitely have looked at it like: If your ADD isn't treated by any known ADD specific medication, is it REALLY ADD as they claim it to be? Or is it something else entirely?
Some options would be
>it's ADD, but a different "variation" of itWhich in my personal humble opinion would then require a new diagnosis name. They could call it "type A" or "type B" and so on. I figure if there is a group that ONLY responds to medication 1, and one group that only responds to medication 2 you might as well separate and label the groups for faster medical care for everyone. If there are consistent patterns like that the root cause may be different despite the symptoms seemingly being the same.
>it's ADD but you have a unique genetic condition that prevents that specific medication from workingThat sucks but people are different so it can happen. But nobody is truly that special so it's a bit odd if nothing works for you.
>it's ADD and the medication IS working as intended, but the rest of your life/style is preventing you from feeling like it worksLike if you regularly only get 3h of sleep each night, or only eat fast food, or accidentally regularly consume something you're unknowingly mildly allergic to, have untreated trauma, you're still gonna feel like shit all of the time.
>it's not ADD but something else entirelyFor example, ADD/ADHD is supposedly a developmental disorder. But there are studies on late diagnosed adults who never had the symptoms as young kids but only got them as older teens/adults. The results showed that they likely instead just had brain damage from drinking at a certain age before their brains had finished developing. It was really fascinating, there was such a direct link between the two. They had to have gotten drunk around age (iirc) 13-14. If they were older, they instead consistently had other mental problems, though I can't remember all of them. Basically you could ask an adult what age they first got drunk at, and just by knowing that you could tell exactly what "disorder" they now had just based on that. Because the part of the brain that was developing at that time got fucked up from the alcohol. The scariest part was that it only took them getting properly drunk one single time for the damage to appear. I'm fucking sperging out now sorry kek
The point is, I'm sure in the same way there are non-ADD conditions that can mimic the symptoms of ADD, and if the root cause isn't the same then it is to be expected that the medication doesn't work.
No. 2130653
>>2130637You're right and I didn't intend it that way. It's just something I saw often parroted.
>>2130644I wouldn't mind looking into it but that'd be something years in the making because of both wait lists and knowing they'll just tell me to suck it up with what I have diagnosed kek. Anyway I don't drink so it's definitely not that.
I should mention that when I say the medication doesn't work for me, it's that before I can reach a dose that might have an effect, my body goes into overdrive because I basically don't handle stimulants well. They make me insanely anxious. I'd like to try non-stimulants but unfortunately my country is rather cagey regarding trying more then just the basics with medication.
No. 2143094
>>2120962I was never comfortable with kids younger than me but yeah, I also got along better with adults than other children. Whenever I attended another kid’s party I’d always ended up at the mom table and on school trips I’d hang around the teachers more than my classmates. Which, in hindsight, probably annoyed the hell out of all of them. Oops.
And yeah, it’s the same even in adulthood. I even get on better with some middle aged men (decently behaved ones of course) than women my own age and I hate it. It just feels like women my age judge me really harshly and can kind of smell the autism on me so they shun me before I even open my mouth, whereas older men and elderly ladies are just happy to have someone to talk to, especially because we tend to have more interests in common. I’m into a lot of “grandma hobbies” and was raised mostly by my dad and picked up a lot of his interests. Or maybe middle aged men are just nice to me because I’m a conventionally attractive young woman. It’s probably that, even though they don’t overtly hit on me. Fuck.
>>2142282Are you the driver or a passenger? The only thing that helps me is to stare out the window, particularly the front window, and completely ignore anything going on inside of the car. Even rummaging through my bag for a few seconds makes me dizzy so I make sure I have everything I need in my lap and other people in the car know not to talk to me, or at least not to expect a response.
No. 2143193
>>2143191I hope the next one is BPD. I'm sick and tired of all these "stop bpd stigma uwu we can't control our splitting
abusive behaviors uwu" and "beautiful princess disorder" trends.
ADHD I can kind of get, I clash with other adhders myself and some of the points they have about adhd aren't invalid
No. 2145316
File: 1724174742192.jpeg (182 KB, 710x960, IMG_4521.jpeg)
Nonnas, I recently started taking medikinet for my adhd, and I feel like I’m going nuts because everyone’s talking about loss of appetite but I’ve never been hungrier. Not even antidepressants made me this hungry. What the hell, is this normal?
No. 2148160
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No one besides my parents, my boss, and my best friend knows about my autism diagnosis, because I'm terrified of being lumped in with all the fakers treating autism like a fashion fashion statement. I'd rather people think I'm a bitch than have them think I'm a munchie. Also, whenever people say "neurospicy" I feel a million times more insulted than I do when they say "retarded."
No. 2148299
>>2148084It has only been seriously considered as a diagnosis for girls for a very short time and it’s not like the condition itself only sprung into existence 30 years go, so it makes sense that, with increased awareness, more older women are getting diagnosed now. Like the other anon said, many of these women were probably misdiagnosed with other conditions (or simply deemed ‘difficult’) when they were younger.
I’m a textbook sperg who’s been seeing mental health professionals since I was like 8 but it wasn’t until I was 20 that anyone even considered testing me for Asperger’s, and that was only a decade ago. It simply didn’t occur to them because they still subconsciously thought of it as something only boys could have. It doesn’t surprise me if women who were overlooked decades ago are getting diagnosed now.
In hindsight my grandmother pretty obviously had some form of ASD. She had tranquillizers shoved at her by doctors and was regularly visited by the local nuns to “counsel” her on how to be a better wife and mother. That’s how it was dealt with in those days. Family members will discuss male historical figures who “probably had autism” like Newton and Einstein but won’t even consider that their own mom/grandma had it because the idea of a woman with autism, especially an older woman with autism, is still unthinkable to most people.
No. 2148796
>>2148084I'm sure some of them are correctly diagnosed, but I also don't think age stops people from falling from social media pressure and using it as an explanation for whatever issues they may think they have. I'm of the belief that many "popular" conditions, including ASD, are being over-diagnosed and I don't think that excludes older women.
>>2148304Can't help but agree. I think I'm barely over the threshold myself and question my own diagnosis, so when I see people more functioning than me it really seems like there wasn't even a point in diagnosing them. Most of the time it kinda seems like they just have late on-set NLOGism from having spent too much time online.
No. 2148894
is there a way to actually improve your enjoyment of conversations? i can talk to people okay (i don't respond negatively when they talk to me first, i react to what they're saying in what i think is a pretty normal way, i try to make sure my facial expressions look right, i am friendly and encouraging) but i feel literally nothing when i do it other than "someone's talking to you, you'd better make sure they don't stop". i never really talk about my own interests or life (i learned quickly as a teen that sperging about whatever i'm into isnt received well, so now i kinda feel weird talking about ANYthing personal because it's something i'm not "supposed" to do) and every response i give is just my shitty brain working on autopilot while i absorb and contribute literally nothing to the conversation. i feel like if i could slow down and allow myself time to think, i might be able to come up with something more substantial to say that would allow me to get something about of talking to other people (and break me out of my auto-responses), but i'm never able to stop myself from giving non-responses that only extend the other person's talking time. i also have trouble with starting conversations for the same reason: most social relationships ive had come from someone forced to be around me for a while who eventually starts talking to fill the silence. it's not that i'm nervous to talk to people: it just does not ever occur to me to talk to someone on my own. i don't feel social anxiety but rather complete blankness until hours or days later (where i will realize i didn't actually SAY anything and feel weird about it). i also never have anything to say to begin with- even when i try to think of something i come up with nothing. i think this kind of thing is really impeding my ability to make friends because what will happen is that a coworker or classmate will have told me their entire life story name of their first grade teacher relationship problems etc and they won't even know my last name because all of our conversations are just me encouraging THEM to talk more. i feel like it makes me come across as really boring or uncaring but i DO have lots of hobbies and interests and thoughts, it just won't ever occur to me to share them. i just blank and default to stock responses and my learned "this is what a normal person looks like" body language unless it's a very close friend of many years whose conversational patterns and interests i have memorized (still have no idea how i made friends to begin with). it makes me feel like i'm just pretending to be a person when i wasn't meant to interact with anyone. is there an actual way to practice contributing to conversations? most therapists i've seen just tell me to do things i already do ("ask people about themselves and be nice!!!1!") or tell me there isn't a problem because they don't understand what my actual issue is (i can pretend to be normal for a few minutes, which seems to be the standard i'm supposed to reach, but it can never last and i can't really form actual connections that way). i used to think i was okay with not having many friends, but my only friend moved to the other side of the country for work, we grew apart because texting sucks, and i never realized how much i relied on having that relationship until i was talking to nobody at all for months on end
>>2148640 i have experienced what you describe exactly, reading your post is like reading something i could've written
No. 2149590
>>2148646It definitely hurt when I was a little kid and no one wanted to be my friend or enjoyed having me around. But as the years went on, I became so used to it that I stopped feeling anything about it. From teens onward I've simply expected it. It would be much more shocking for people to accept and like me than to dislike me.
I don't think someone with BPD would also have autism btw. Just my opinion. BPDs desperately crave attention and validation, and engage in risky attention-seeking behaviors. Autists are the opposite.
No. 2149623
>>2148646I don't really understand much about psychology and shit, but I know that as I child and as a teen I would cry a lot, then at some point during my 16 to 17 years old I stopped caring and decided to just never create a deep bond with anyone ever again.
To the point that during my last year of high-school, literally around the last week of school, some friends I used to have were like
>now that I think about it… we know nothing about youAnd then I noticed that I never talk about anything of myself.
And even nowadays, I managed to stop closing off so much, I still can only handle having one friend at a time, and I still have a hard time sharing anything about myself, but at least I can share my favorite stuff unfiltered, which isn't good either but whatever, maybe someday around my 40's I will find a middle ground or I will be rich enough so it's never considered important.
Unironically, social media has helped me communicate /some/ things to friends and family, I can say "I like this!" Or "woh wheee I really don't enjoy this!". Which means I barely use it and basically touch it every once in a while because it's uncomfortable to me to be talking about myself.
Seriously how do those autistic (as in people that supposedly have autism) influencers use social media that way, it's insane to me, my stomach turns into tomato paste with baking soda and water whenever I imagine filming myself, at all.
No. 2149873
>>2148969autism traits
>long time interests>long time focus>intense knowledge about interests >difficulty reading body language>difficulty reading tone of voice>difficulty reading between the lines/sarcasm>sensory issues (sound, light, touch are actually painful)>"rigid" and not impulsive, craves routines and structure>often a genuine lack of interest in social aspects of life>doesn't know how to adapt their speech (using big words even to young kids assuming they'll understand)>not very expressive/monotone>dresses "weird" due to sensory issues or because they don't care what other people thinkadhd traits
>difficulty focusing>mostly does things that give instant dopamine>short periods of hyper interest, then drops it fully (depending on the person a "short" period can still be months)>switches interests a lot>easily distracted>difficulty finishing tasks>doesn't have sensory issues but are instead easily distracted by sound/light/etc>impulsive, bad at following routines and structure>social difficulties come from being impulsive and over-reactive, and being distracted>often very expressive due to being so reactive>can be introverts, but doesn't have the same lack of interest in social aspects as autist>dresses "weird" because it gives them dopamine and/or attentionImo they're very different conditions but they get conflated so much people can't tell what is what, and some people have both making it even more confusing.
No. 2149896
>>2149876Ironically, in my own life experience, I've observed the opposite. Aspergers people are weird, but ADHD people are weird and annoying.
>>2148646Autism is basically social retardation. BPD is founded on a strong social understanding. The manipulation, lies, crazy antics, etc., of someone with BPD would be very difficult for an autist to do. Especially the social manipulation, that's nearly impossible for a diagnosed autist to do.
IMO, autism in girls can be misdiagnosed as BPD if the doctor is inexperienced or unfamiliar with how autism usually presents in women. Half the time, when someone is diagnosed with BPD, what they were really diagnosed with was "I don't know what's wrong with you, and I don't care enough to find out."
No. 2150924
>>2150847My post was a bit hyperbolic when I said no one knows what happened. To give a bit of context my family friend went through a period of NEETdom during which she became obsessed with the Israel/Palestine stuff and this seemed to
trigger some kind of depression. I met up with her a bit during this and she still seemed lucid and normal. A few months into this she had some kind of drama with her housemate over an Alexa/Google Nest. She seemed to have some kind of schizo/ocd obsession and fear with technology being able to spy on her which resulted in her siblings and parents having to intervene. Once she moved in with family is when she did a complete nosedive.
No. 2151265
>>2149876That's for level 3 autists and some level 2s. Level 1 (high functioning) ones tend to have high IQs. They're just socially retarded.
>>2150056No, that's a myth spread by self-diagnosed Redditors. It's called "twice exceptional" and is pretty rare.
No. 2153373
>>2153326I'm an aspie so I can tell you what my life looks like at 27. I got my dream job at age 21 despite lacking the right education for it, since I was self-taught and had the skills for it they hired me anyway. I think it helps that I'm kinda pretty, not bragging but it makes people like you more on sight if you are. It's not the most high paying job but it's super fun and fulfilling, and super flexible so I'm able to get extra time off almost any time I want.
I'm pretty introverted so I rarely see friends irl but that's fine with me kek I do hang out with my family and boyfriend regularly so my social life feels good to me. I've got a lot of good friends online. I talk to them near daily, I've just never met them irl.
My only big issue in life is that I can't afford a house, but the house market is total shit at the moment so not even rich couples can afford a house. The banks won't give people house loans anymore so unless you can literally pay the whole house price you can't buy it.
Despite the fact that I love my job it does feel depressing to not be able to even build my own life from it, like what's the point of working then? I'd like to try to start a family one day but I refuse to do it from a teeny tiny apartment! My boyfriend likes big dogs so we're planning on getting one if we ever do get a house too. I tell myself it's temporary and we'll get that house some day but who knows.
Overall I think my life is pretty successful. Most of my non-autist peers haven't gotten as far in life as I have. Some still struggle to find jobs. I think them chasing "fun" at parties and bars for years set them back from being as successful.
My autist friends who are around my age are hit or miss. The ones who haven't made it far are the ones who struggle deeply with various mental issues. I honestly think it helped me to see them struggle as it made me realize I don't want to end up like them too. And from an outside perspective it really looks like a self-pitying circle of doom. They could be fine one day but the second they lose confidence they end up giving up on even trying and are convinced they can't do anything anymore and their lives fall to ruins. It's like the self-pitying is now their entire personality. I hope they snap out of it, but idk if or when that will happen.
In the end my life goal is ordinary. But if you're an aspie who doesn't want ordinary then there's no reason to have that as your goal, or to feel behind. And I also think it's never too late. If you're 50 and you wanna go get an education, why not? Do what you want!
No. 2153396
>>2153326Nona average normie isnt anywhere near to be successful kek. They all struggle to find a job sometimes, most of normie women have shitty moids/crotch demons to take care of. I personally think that being autistic is better. Society demands a lot of things from women that arent actually obligatory so I feel like i have more freedom because i dont do the said things. Maybe you just watched too much tiktok/insta where everyone is a make up guru with lots of followers, expensive clothes and vacations, but real life is not like that at all. Most people arent as successful they want to seem. Dont worry about that, just live your life.
Try not to end up homeless and earn some money for anime merch, thats it. Thats life.
No. 2153405
>>2153396>Maybe you just watched too much tiktok/instaI actually never used Insta my whole life, and I only used Tiktok during the pandemic for less than a year. I don't usually compare myself to anyone on the internet because I know it's all fake, I'm just talking about like comparing myself to my friends or family who are similar in age to me and seeing what they've done in the same time I have. I just feel like sometimes I'm behind from them or like I don't have enough going on for me, but I'm not sure if this is because I'm trying to compare my life as an aspie to a normies life.
>>2153373>But if you're an aspie who doesn't want ordinary then there's no reason to have that as your goal, or to feel behind. And I also think it's never too late.This was a really nice response, thanks for typing it out. I also don't like people that are always negative or focusing on the bad stuff, usually I try to be an optimist and most people in my life would agree I'm happy-go-lucky. It's just sometimes I think about like "ahh what am I gonna be doing in 5-10 years?!" and get nervous for the future. I want a life where I'm financially secure and independent, but at the same time I don't know the best ways to do this when I feel like such an alien compared to everyone around me.
No. 2154878
>>2153326I thought I'd post to give you perspective into what my life looks like (I'm 25). I really enjoy my life right now, and while there are some things in which I would be considered very successful, there are also things that make me sound like a complete loser.
>autistic interest turned into a career (went studying, insane focus, forget everything else)>got my PhD>working as a post-doctoral researcher, trying to make it and get tenure>live alone>messy apartment>two friends plus some colleagues>never dated and khv (feels too stressful)>my mom still helps me with bills and groceries (not paying them but like, to get me do them)>eat the same thing every day>work from home>have a routine, don't want to break it so I never socialize>dress weird>people call me weird to my faceSo I pretty much am an eternal womanchild, but because I have the job of my dreams I consider myself very successful. I have no idea what others think of me, except that my colleagues have literally called me weird multiple times. I don't really care, to be honest. I guess what I want to say is that you shouldn't stress about being "perfect" especially according to some outside standards, but instead, you should focus on your strengths and specific goals and what you personally enjoy in life, and work towards those.
No. 2155198
>>2150815>>2150924It's a bit shameful to admit but a similar thing happened to me during 2016 US Presidental election (and I'm not even American kek). It also coincided with me getting into and subsequentially dropping out of uni because of burnout. I started to believe that the World is going to end, doomscrolled endlessly and had a feeling that I'm being watched so I cut contact with my friends and deleted all my social media. Still regret it to this day but it is what it is.
I think back then I tried to project my inner stuggles on the outside world if that makes sense. "It's not like I have a problem, everything's going to shit, so why even bother?". That might explain your friend's obsession as well.
No. 2155354
>>2154878>eat the same thing every daykek I'm
>>2153373 and I do the same! I'm so lucky my favorite meal is healthy and includes pretty much every food group so I get proper nutrition.
>dress weirdI didn't mention it in my post but I'm also into an alt fashion. I think that helps the "being called weird" part, especially if you own it. If you lean into being weird and don't take it as an insult it makes people like you more, you become "their" weirdo friend kek
This is kind of a side note but I feel like alt fashion is good for staying safe. If you asked someone on the street "hey a young woman with brown hair was kidnapped, have you seen anyone like it?" they'd have no idea as they'd likely have seen 100 women like that. But if you ask "a young woman with bright pink hair wearing pastel clothes" they'd know immediately if they saw you earlier because you stand out. (That's not my actual style, just an example). I know my neighbors always notice me when I go out or get home even if we've never even spoken to each other simply because I stand out, it really makes me feel safer.
No. 2155362
>>2148160Not even my parents or friends know, let alone people at work. I've had this diagnosis since 2008 and I had just turned 18 back then so it wasn't necessary to tell my parents. Back then I wanted to hide it because my mother judged lazy people who make excuses with things like depression, but know it's because I personally feel that way. At this point I'd rather be seen as a difficult or strange person than someone who has autism. Not because I think having autism is embarrassing but because I just don't want to be seen as weak person who is trying to make excuses. I'm really trying so hard to wear this mask. It can be exhausting but it's the price I'm willing to pay.
I thank god I'm not a moid because moid autists don't seem to be able to get any type of self-awareness. I'm constantly judging myself and my surroundings and I think it benefits me because I've managed to the a job that guarantees me comfortable life.
No. 2155415
>>2155354Different anon but I’ve been into ‘alternative fashion’ for as long as I can remember and now as a grown ass adult I don’t know how to dress like a normal person. I was into Jfashion for ~15 years and figured that if I just start buying clothes from local brands/shops it will automatically be normal but people still think I dress weird or ‘alternative’ because of the specific pieces I choose and the way I combine them, I guess. Most of the time I don’t care but sometimes I just want to blend in and I literally don’t know how to do that.
My main problem is that I can’t wear jeans or trousers due to my figure and sensory issues, so I’m always wearing skirts, which I’ve been told turns every outfit into a Fashion Statement (TM) automatically. Just yesterday I went to the store in a t-shirt, wide skirt (because pockets) and comfortable boots and two different women told me they loved my outfit. I didn’t even realise I was wearing an outfit, I thought I was just wearing clothes lmao
Part of me wants to give up and lean back into alternative fashion because at least then it’s a choice and it doesn’t feel weird when people comment on my clothing. When people comment on clothes that I
thought were completely normal and unobtrusive I get paranoid and start thinking I’ve committed some unspoken faux pas or something. I also hate the idea of people thinking that I’m trying to attract attention when 99% of the time I’m just wearing whatever is clean and comfortable.
No. 2155857
>>2155362Same. Diagnosed as an adult and never told a single soul. Most people are like
>>2149876 and think of autists as being retards. I don't want to be judged like that. I'd rather people just think I'm a quirky weirdo.
No. 2157921
File: 1724869680206.jpg (108.46 KB, 616x818, 1000057166.jpg)
I dont get how other autists can dress weird, I hate that, I need to keep my clothes as simple and easy to wear as possible. Sure, the idea of alt stuff sounds fun, but then I think of the scratchy materials, awkward fits and multiple accessories and stop liking the idea.
I wish I could dress like pic related but I know I wouldn't be able to handle the feeling of the materials on my skin, I also would feel awkward not having an exact time and space to wear this because it's not that easy to say
>I will just go meet my friends like this!
And then being at the mall with all the eyes on you, no thanks. Or I could go to anime/comic conventions and wear this, but then I think that it's a waste to have something pretty in my closet so I can only wear it like once a year if lucky in some place where I already feel vulnerable even around nerds.
Which leads me to another trouble I have with alt clothes, I feel like the options are limited even with statement pieces, I can wear statement jewelry with different normie outfits and it will look nice, but if I put on, say, the socks of this outfit with a random dress, it won't really look that nice as with the outfit.
Or if I get a really cool purse with a cross or that's like a plushie, I won't really be able to find the right time and place to match it with my usual clothes.
And I've tried before, I've tried wearing leg warmers to the super market and other cute accessories with socks with bows but it's hard to not just make one single outfit and pair it with something else.
No. 2158066
>>2157986>Also, does anyone here find themselves easy targets for unstable abusive types like bpd?People that are good at manipulation, like BPDchans, are very good at sensing when someone is pliable, gullible, or lonely. It's an extrapolation, but if you ever read about serial killers like Ted Bundy, you'll realize a shared characteristic between them all is their innate ability to recognize vulnerable people. Autists are usually the target of asocial dangerous types because, although we hate to admit it, we are 'different' from the normies in a certain recognizable way. It's not just autists, people with FAS are often taken advantage of by the same people because their disorder is usually evident by their facial features.
>What's your relationship with other autists/adhds?No two people are alike, obviously, but I find that I'm able to get along better with fellow spergs than I am with normies. I have normie friends and everything, and I've done a lot of self-work that's helped me become more social, but I still find I have the best conversations with autists. I think the biggest component is the sense of humour. Spergs have a very specific type of humour that I find super funny, but normies might find off-putting or weird. Inversely, I find normie attempts at humour to be dull or juvenile. I was like you in my youth though, I hated other spergs I think because I was deeply uncomfortable with who I was, and they reminded me of my own issues. Now that I'm comfortable in my own skin and secure in myself, I find it much easier to relate to other autists.
No. 2158184
File: 1724882466860.jpg (39.13 KB, 564x317, IYoOiTi.jpg)
Is adhd medication worth it? I've always struggled with school and currently taking an extra year(also trauma related which is why my university is leniant). I am diagnosed + have always had a lot of support/accomodations. most of it is just executive dysyfunction and me procrasinating. I've always been bad at finishing prescribed medication and I don't want extra cash.
I just feel retarded cause everyone can take a full course load + do a job and graduate on time but I struggle even with all this extraa help
No. 2158189
>>2157986like just tends to attract like. Even if we think we're normies there are always social cues we miss that will put off normal people.
>Also, does anyone here find themselves easy targets for unstable abusive types like bpd?again natural consequence of not understanding social cues, you miss unspoken red flags everyone assumes you should know. Because with social interactions there's never a how to guide, you can only know in hindsight which I hate. Especially cause most neurodivergents have parents who are either also on the spectrum or shelter us and make us socially stupid
No. 2158235
>>2158184>everyone can take a full course load + do a job and graduate on time but I struggle even with all this extraa helpYou're disabled anon, of course you're going to be a bit behind from normies. You shouldn't feel bad about taking more time to achieve certain things, be proud that you're doing them at all!
IMO, if your main struggle is executive disfunction and procrastination and you're hesitant to try medication, maybe try to change your habits first? I know for me, when I was in uni, I could do
nothing at home. I always had to drag my procrastinating ass to the library to do work, I found it easier to actually finish my work if I was outside the house away from usual distractions. I also would make a point to say to myself "okay, anon, you won't be going home until you finish XYZ!" and I would stay in that dingy library until I did all my stuff.
If you're hesitant to try pharmaceutical medications, you could also try to use traditional remedies. Ephedrine is very similar in structure to amphetamine, and IMO it performs similarly. Another choice would be "Liver Soothing Depression Relief Capsules" (舒肝解郁胶囊), it's a Chinese herbal concoction that's used to treat mild depression and to give energy and focus. There was a study done recently that showed that they worked on par with standard anti-depressant medications in terms of alleviating depression when compared to placebos.
I also keked when you said "I don't want extra cash" because I used to sell my extra pills too No. 2158403
File: 1724894308419.jpeg (162.5 KB, 1619x883, 1724794450317.jpeg)
This was posted in the bad comics thread. Does anyone have the opposite of this? If something is high stakes or I'm being ordered to do something, like paperwork or homework, I can do it. But I can barely focus on hobbies or learning new things, even if they are of interest to me. I have really bad self discipline and I end up bouncing around from idea to idea before burning myself out and giving up on everything
No. 2158550
>>2157986Can't relate to them. I've been to some support/meetup groups for autists and it's all people who don't work and leech off their parents no matter how old they are. They're greasy and slobby and just unpleasant to look at. It's almost entirely males that show up so maybe that's why. Female autists seem to be much more high functioning as a whole from what I've seen online.
>Also, does anyone here find themselves easy targets for unstable abusive types like bpd?Not BPDers, but NPDers yes, tons. They're attracted to me like magnets. I've been hit, raped, used and screamed at by more people than I can count.
No. 2158634
>>2157986>Also, does anyone here find themselves easy targets for unstable abusive types like bpd?Yes, I've had my fair share of
abusive friends, though I avoid calling most of them
abusive since most were when we were just kids. To cope as a kid I used to tell myself I was special and had the patience of an angel so I was the only one capable of being this mean person's friend. Adults were always preaching the whole "be nice to everyone" thing so I took it to heart and ended up not realizing it wasn't right for me to keep being nice when the other person kept being mean and using me.
>What's your relationship with other autists/adhds?I've always gotten along well with people who are near my exact level of high functioning autism, our brains really seem similarly wired and that was true even before any of us were diagnosed. It's a bit freaky though when I see deranged high functioning autists who got captured by some ideology, because often I can see exactly what pathway their autist brain took to get to that conclusion. I've tried to tell normies about it but they just look horrified as if I agreed with the deranged person when I don't.
I've never had a problem with anyone with ADHD or other disorders, because of my earlier "patience" with actually mean people when someone just struggles with focus or get a bit hyper that seemed like nothing in comparison.
No. 2163037
>>2157986I don't think I can generalize to that extent. There's plenty of neurotypicals I vibe with and plenty I don't, and there's autists I click with and those who I can't spend time around because they only ever talk about themselves which is rude and painful to listen to. I'm ADHD and unmedicated due to congenital heart issues.
>Also, does anyone here find themselves easy targets for unstable abusive types like bpd?No. I gray rock the shit out of people who annoy me because I grew up with an unstable weirdo for a mother, so I'm not interesting enough for them. Has nothing to do with my condition, though.
No. 2163064
File: 1726253150740.webp (74.68 KB, 640x800, 7946340C-72B3-4C50-8212-C10AE8…)
>>2163060Samefag. Sharing picrel since it’s interesting
No. 2163097
>>2163065It’s stating that both disorders are defined by having difficulty in socializing with others. However the root cause is different for each. In autism social difficulty is the result of having difficulty reading social cues at all. In ADHD it is from an inability to focus or pay attention.
My own personal example that illustrates this is that I have difficult maintaining eye contact. It isn’t because I find eye contact unsettling, or that I don’t understand why I should do it, I just get incredibly distracted reading the other person’s facial expressions or fixating on something on their appearance. Overtime I developed the habit to not make eye contact so I could pay attention to the conversation. So even though it sounds like an autistic trait, the root cause is my difficulty in maintaining focus. So it better fits with ADHD.
No. 2163109
>>2163051I guess but for me the social elements I "relate" to are personality things while for them they're genuine incapabilities, so I don't think it's my ADHD that's making me relate to them.
>>2163055> feel too weird for normies and too normie for autists.Agreed with this.
No. 2163195
>>2163064These diagrams are always retarded. I hate how superficial they are
>Interest-based nervous system>Webbed thought patterns>Valuing context is NDWhat?
No. 2163204
>>2163121>>2163006 and
>>2163010 are me. I'm generally considered extroverted and socially fluid by other people (I know this because it's something I've been complimented on many times) but I have difficulty in particular situations where I'm expected to "perform" because I really do just think it's stupid and sometimes lack empathy. I don't think I struggle to detect social cues or anything though, I notice them but it's up to my mood whether I act accordingly or not.
No. 2167006
>>2163469How is valuing context 'ND'?
>ability to understand themKEK i understand them very well, they're straightforward concepts, i just don't believe they hold any water. Anyone can have 'webbed thought patterns'. Some of these terms look like any other pop psych term that appear in cutesy books/sites about self-help without much evidence to back them up (not that i think all understanding of autism has to come from doctors, but come on).
No. 2167869
>>2163914>it's just an attempt to word things vaguely in order to maximally expand the "neurodivergent" umbrella, so that as many people as possible could "relate" or whatever. I hate shit like thisMe too nona, me too. I hate the idea that as many people as possible should be able to get diagnosed on the "spectrums" of disorders. I'm one of those spergs who strongly feels high vs low functioning autism isn't the same condition at all. I've yet to see good arguments or evidence for why a sperg having a hard time reading some social cues is somehow the same as a properly mentally disabled person with the inability to even speak or wipe their own butt. It seems obvious the root cause is different, and assuming they're the same is harming both groups.
People say a person can have both autism + some other mental disability but I don't really agree, at least not the way it's presented and assumed. I mean a person can NOT have high functioning autism AND be severely mentally retarded. The second part removes the "high functioning" part by definition. But a person can in theory be a low functioning autistic and have another severe mental disability, so it doesn't add up that they're the same to me. But even then I again question how they know someone who is so severely retarded also has autism, how do they know their other condition isn't the root cause of their social issues? How do they test the 2 conditions separately from each other? For example people with Down's syndrome tend to have lower IQ, so how would they know the social difficulty isn't from that rather than then also having autism?
No. 2167932
>>2167879>but I know that many others would likely be offended by it.>>2167912>quite happy, if they seem sincereAyrt. That's kind of what I was wondering about. When I see autism influencers online they all, without fail, act as if the other person is being super offensive by even asking. Like asking/commenting is attacking their "identity" by denying their autism. They've got this gotcha-phrase that is like "so what should an autist look and act like then!?". Well, maybe just… not like a fully normal functioning person like you are presenting as?
But myself and the autists I know in person would all get happy to be told we seem normal enough they can't even tell we're autistic. And even if they were genuinely questioning if I was an autist and think that I'm faking it I wouldn't be offended. I don't care what they think, why should I? It's not an identity.
In fact if I felt comfortable I'd join in and tell them I'm also questioning the diagnosis and that I think the "spectrum" is too wide nowadays. But I know the online autists would want me dead if I told them that.
No. 2167961
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>>2167035i am the same (with suspected/self-diagnosed since my teens, there is no point to get diagnosed with it if you can't be bothered or have no interest to work on changing the behaviour.) i think a lot of the other schizoid-autistic women don't really care to talk about it online, most of the autistic communities especially for women have the type of bonding and "soft-social" behaviour that isn't seen in the more male typical "stereotypical" autism or schizoids (which is the type of behaviour which is the most "relatable" to me), it's not really purposeful to spend time in those communities. i think it's much more rare for an autistic women to develop schizoid traits in response to childhood neglect than other more "female-type" disorders like borderline, just due to the spread of how these disorders manifest between the sexes and the societal context. but i also feel the same, that if i wasn't autistic with the already in built tendency to hypersensitivity and black and white thinking, i probably wouldn't have schizoidism. there are some people who think that schizoid personality disorder is a manifestation of another type of autism, but i don't agree. regardless it's a shame to have the disorder, but what can be done about it now
No. 2167974
>>2167874I get this a lot and I’d like to be able to take it as a compliment, but the majority of the time it translates to
>I can see you’re weird>but not in the very specific way I believe TRULY autistic people are weird>so I don’t accept autism as an explanation or excuse for your difficulties>and I’m going to assume any problems you have are just a case of you being difficult by choiceI’m good enough at masking that average people can’t immediately tell I’m a sperg but most people (especially women) can still tell there’s something “off” about me and treat me accordingly, so not being recognised as autistic
specifically doesn’t really benefit me that much. Whenever someone gives me that particular response it’s a good sign they’re going to be very dismissive and/or ask if I’ve ever tried to just, like, not be or do [insert autistic trait].
No. 2169295
>>2167970>himWell there you go. Males act different than females.
Maybe instead of trying to make friends you should try to have short nice interactions with people as often as possible. That's often have friendships start I think. Make people around you think you are friendly and nice in general, so they want to be your friend because every time they've met you you've said something nice without desperately trying to become their friend
No. 2169300
>>2167966>What can someone say instead of meltdown and stimming?Meltdown: anxiety attack. Or phrase it differently by saying "I just broke down crying", "my nervous system got overwhelmed"
Stimming: I find this one trickier. You could say it's a tic that you can't help, which people often seem to confuse with stimming anyway. I think being casually apologetic works the best "sorry, that's just a thing I do sometimes don't worry about it".
No. 2170046
File: 1726702575526.jpeg (41.45 KB, 552x552, 1725894760479.jpeg)
I hate this ADHD loop I seem to have where it goes
>think that I need or want to do something
>brain registers this as having done it already and it's over with
>have to constantly remind myself that I haven't actually done it
Is this something meds would help with? I've never taken any before.
No. 2170328
>>2167290Because the medical community still sees autism as a "childhood disease." Pretty sure they're the ones that come up with these terms and it's also why any time you look up autism symptoms, everything it shows is only about children.
>>2167874I'd just be like "thanks." Because I'm pretty sure they think that's a compliment, so whatever.
>>2170036Nope, I think we should've kept the asperger's label or come up with something else. Not just lump it all together. Level 3 is pretty much straight up retardation which is not anything like Level 1.
No. 2170430
>>2170075That's interesting, because I'm an autist and I don't do any of those things
>>2169895 listed. I really like that you write down how the cause/purpose is different because normies (read fakers) act like it's all the same thing when in reality many people "stim" or display other symptoms for many different reasons and not everything is even a sign of a disorder
No. 2170489
>>2170428I'd rather stick with my ADHD than be an autist. I do suffer from a lot of issues like executive dysfunction and anxiety but I can still function well enough to work. Unfortunately the only way to get better is to work on your issues. Medication might help, but the person still has to put in effort to get better. And we all know how social media addicts feel about that. Younger people getting diagnosed in the era of Tiktok and attention seeking will have different attitudes towards ADHD compared to older people who got diagnosed at 50 and spent their childhoods being beaten and yelled at until they learned to pretend to be normal.
ADHD can, and does, get better with time and work. Autism has very mixed results regardless of age or how hard they and their family try to make them function more normally. It's taken years for me to get to the point where I can function like a normal human being, and I've been called an ungrateful lazy bitch pretty much my whole life until my diagnosis- you're right about that being a massive issue, it made me so bitter that the huge (for me) improvements I'd made by working my ass off alone were ridiculed by every adult I knew because even toddlers could do them. I imagine that autists had similar experiences of parents screaming at them for not being normal, or asking why they're not the rain man if assburgers makes you like numbers.
TLDR they're both unpleasant conditions to have but ADHD is much easier to manage if you have the discipline.
No. 2171105
>>2171094That's exactly the harm of the tiktok-fycation of autism/adhd and the like. Everything is just a vague emotion every person has sometimes, and all refrences for women with the conditions are conventionally pretty skinny girls who can get away with being awkward. In reality the average level 1 (I hate this system) autistic woman spends her entire child- and teenhood being lonely, which turns their adulthood lonely because they're just aware enough of how weird they are compared to everyone else to be depressed over it, rather then blissful ignorance.
And there's no good place to talk about these things. Most spaces are overrun with self-diagnosed young adults who think because they were a awkward teen it means they're autistic. The other end of that spectrum is the hardcore munchies who cannot talk about how it's a disability without talking about spoons the entire time. Anyone who has actually had to deal with having any of these kind of conditions will learn really fast that in real life people hate it when you have a condition that you can't easily give them a bullet pointed list of with things that will fix you into a perfect human. Unless you're a man of course then everything is excused.
No. 2171163
File: 1726778519777.jpg (17.94 KB, 736x191, guinea-pig-gradient.jpg)
are there any other nonas here who have never been able to mask their autism? i feel like i'm in a weird middle ground because i'm high-functioning/asd level 1, but since i'm unable to actually mask, i have trouble relating with other high-functioning autists because i think i come off as much more retarded than i actually am if that makes sense kek. it's made me wonder if i was misdiagnosed and i'm actually level 2, because i've never seen high-functioning autists online discuss this. it's either that they can mask and it's stressful and makes them feel like they're leading double lives, or that they can't mask anymore due to stress, but were able to for a good portion of their lives. it's made me feel kind of jealous/bitter towards people constantly talking about masking because i would KILL to be able to hide my retardedness for once and present normal in certain situations, i feel it's held me back so much especially when trying to get a job. i hope all the nonas that are able to mask realize how lucky they are to be able to "blend in" when necessary even if it's hard
(picture unrelated i just thought it was cute)
No. 2171182
>>2170518>Well in the end level 3 autists have a lot of the same symptoms as me, a level 1, just a lot more severe. To me it's the same disorder but there is a need to differentiate between each level.What symptoms are you thinking of more specifically?
What makes your (for example) difficulty to maintain eye-contact the same as for someone who is a level 3 mute and doesn't know eye contact exists the same thing?
No. 2171194
>>2171105>The other end of that spectrum is the hardcore munchies who cannot talk about how it's a disability without talking about spoons the entire time.I hate spoonies with a burning passion, it's the dumbest ever concept to ever exist and anyone who adopts the label is a first class idiot.
>>2171121>yes because autism is genetic so the conditions are linked.>i think future classification of autism could be like "autism with intellectual disability"That's contradicting yourself though? You say they're genetic but then that in the future it would have to be called "autism WITH OTHER CONDITION".
No. 2171678
>>2170430The growing awareness of these conditions is a double edged sword definitely. The general public has a tendency to lose sight that symptoms and traits of disorders differ from common occurrences as they are
disordered forms of those behaviors. Just because you may have picked at a scab once doesn’t mean you meet the criteria for a dermatillomania diagnosis. Just like how if you click a pen mindlessly in a boring meeting doesn’t mean you have ADHD. Context is always important and I think something many lose sight of.
No. 2171679
>>2170430The growing awareness of these conditions is a double edged sword definitely. The general public has a tendency to lose sight that symptoms and traits of disorders differ from common occurrences as they are
disordered forms of those behaviors. Just because you may have picked at a scab once doesn’t mean you meet the criteria for a dermatillomania diagnosis. Just like how if you click a pen mindlessly in a boring meeting doesn’t mean you have ADHD. Context is always important and I think something many lose sight of.
No. 2171787
>>2171710Agreed. I have poor short term memory and awareness of my surroundings to the point I get treated like a retard, and it's always these same people who then turn around and joke that they probably have ADHD for xyz cutesy reason. My legitimate issues can't be considered explainable by ADHD to them though, no, that's just me being a retard specifically to inconvenience them.
Sorry that got personal kek
No. 2171797
>>2171790>Like another nonna said you can kinda train yourself around ADHDPlease share tips or resources on how to do this
>>2171787>it's always these same people who then turn around and joke that they probably have ADHD for xyz cutesy reasonI fortunately have never seen this but what kind of "cutesy" stuff do you mean? I don't feel cutesy when I forget shit. Don't worry about getting personal nonna
No. 2171812
>>2171790And I'd rather have my autism as I can train around that too! For me the fact that I can live normally without medication (comparing to my close friends with ADHD here) is a huge relief, especially as I like taking long hiking trips and running out of medication would be a disaster when I'm miles away from civilization.
My biggest issue with autism has been not understanding why people don't like me or why they misread me, and not getting why certain social things are their main focus in life when I don't care at all. Like why is me showing up to a graduation party of someone's sister a big deal when I barely even know her? Why do they refuse to step foot outside if they're wearing sweatpants and that would kill them of embarrassment? But 99% of that has disappeared as soon as I grew out of being a teen. Having a stable job just requires me to learn the exact social standards for that and then I'm all set. I know from an outside perspective plenty of things I do aren't "normal", like eating the exact same lunch every day, but I'm fine and happy with living the way I want, old man Steve down the road doesn't need to approve of my life habits. It's also nice that my autistic traits are appreciated in my job when I pay attention to details normies don't.
No. 2171844
>>2171094God, yes. I was diagnosed with Asperger’s and the accommodations I need to function are very minor but absolutely vital to me. If I don’t have a quiet place to work and clear instructions/expectations I simply do not function properly. If I DO have those things I am a very efficient employee, moreso than the average person. But because the things I require are so minor, everyone thinks they’re unimportant and I should be able to make do without and then it’s surprised Pikachu when I suddenly go from 120% to 60%.
Imagine if astigmatism stopped being considered A Thing. I mean, everyone has blurry vision sometimes, like when we’re tired or something. Just deal with it like the rest of us. Don’t you know that some people are blind? We’re not going to bother with vision aides for anyone who isn’t legally blind, you privileged snowflake.
Why do you squint all the time? It’s weirding us out, and you can read when you’re holding the text right in front of you so clearly there’s nothing actually wrong, you’re just being difficult. Also Keith from downstairs is upset that you didn’t smile back at him when he passed you in the street yesterday. You can’t claim you didn’t recognise him from that distance since he was able to recognise you, wasn’t he? You were just being rude.
I’m sorry but we can’t renew your contract until you get this vision thing sorted out. Don’t expect anyone to provide you with glasses, it’s not like you’re blind. Just come back when you’re normal, okay? It’s not that hard, you’re almost there.
No. 2171892
>>2171883>they ruled out autism especifically because I said I trained myself out of the social symptoms associated with itSounds a bit retarded on their part, autistic girls are known to mimic peers around them aka "masking" and it's literally a sign of their autism. Not saying you're an autist, it's just a stupid way to dismiss it. Of course it also depends on what kind of social symptoms you trained away.
One of the signs of autism they look for is not just the struggle but how they claim to deal with it. Broad example, person is asked if they struggle with talking to people:
>Normal person answer: "Yeah I find it awkward and often don't really know what to say">Normal shy person answer: "Yeah, I have things I want to say but I can't bring myself to say it, afterwards I think about the things I could have said">Autist answer A: "Yeah, I never know what to say and when I talk about the things I like they tell me it's too much so now I never really say anything because I don't want to annoy them">Autist answer B: "No, I've memorized a list of common things to talk about that gets the conversation going and I know what I can always bring up the weather"A lot of the time the autist answer is "no, I don't struggle with this thing… BECAUSE I have created a personal system to deal with it" without recognizing they had to create the system because they do struggle with it and normal people don't need a system. Trained professionals are supposed to be able to spot the difference.
No. 2171906
>>2170036No, joining the two conditions just made sure me and my family couldn't get help or access to resources due to us having "Aspergers" (no longer a thing) and us not being low functioning enough to get an "Autism" diagnosis (you can't even get it diagnosed past 18 unless you're a "threat to others or yourself").
They should always be two conditions, they may stem from the same cause or issue, but you sure as hell aren't treating all cancers in diagnosis or analysis the same way just because they stem from the same issue. They should be two separate conditions with acknowledgement that they may stem from the same cause.
No. 2172101
File: 1726842087392.jpeg (1.02 MB, 1179x2224, IMG_3619.jpeg)
>>2171194How is that a contradiction? Intellectual disability is defined by having an IQ level lower than 70 and struggling with daily living, which "Level 3" autistic people will meet.
It's the same condition but different presentation of symptoms/severity. Some autistic people will have intellectual disability, others won't. Some autistic people have severe sensory issues and others don't.
No. 2172814
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>>2170428I would probably stick with my ADHD. If I had a choice I wouldn’t have it at all, but my quality of life is much better than my brother who has an autism diagnosis. Sure I fuck up because I read instructions too fast and struggle to really pay attention in most contexts.
But I understand people well and am charismatic. People like me.It’s the inverse for my brother. He doesn’t fuck up really, he does as he’s told and goes above and beyond. But he struggles in socializing and has lost out on multiple job opportunities due to it. He doesn’t have a great support system in his friends. He has no long term relationships to speak of. People give me a lot of grace in my fuckups because they like me. Whereas for my brother it is a constant struggle to continue to be employed because no one really enjoys working with him.
Humans are social creatures and there are few instances in life where we can really make it on our own. I struggled a lot with socializing when I was younger so I know on some level how isolating it is. I can’t imagine that following me throughout my life. Autism nonnies have my empathy, it must be really hard.
No. 2173220
>>2172082>one seems like a very severe version of the other but seems to come from the same sourceI don't think so with the example given in
>>2171182 of "difficulty to maintain eye-contact" often seem to be described by high functioning autists to come from finding eye-contact scary or uncomfortable because it feels too intimate, while the "level 3 mute and doesn't know eye contact exists" is not aware eye-contact is a thing because that part of the brain doesn't work correctly and doesn't see it as a social thing at all. Those are completely different at the core.
The high functioning autist would have to genuinely feel nothing from eye-contact, but they actively feel uncomfortable because their brain do register it as a social thing and they just don't like it so they avoid it.
No. 2173238
>>2172101>How is that a contradiction? I think because first you said high and low functioning is on the same spectrum (so to speak), but then later you implied low functioning is actually high functioning autism + other disability where the "low function" would actually not be from autism then but the other disability. Which doesn't make sense as the other disability would make the person low function and they thus cannot be high functioning by definition? So then there is just "autism", but we all know what is currently called autism ranges from people like Elon Musk to flapping hands and being unable to speak. It seems like a messy definition to me.
And perhaps I am a heathen conspiracy theorist for saying this but the psychology field is full of shit, for example there's typically a very high co-morbidity with being trans listed for autism now which is clearly fucking bullshit they pulled out of their own woke asses. They went from trans being a rare mental illness to it now being a natural variation of gender, and sex isn't even real but is a spectrum that you can be on or off from and nothing makes sense. Going on a a tangent now but I also can't help but wonder how many fakers existed prior to social media became big and how they affected earlier studies. That kind of self-serving malingers have surely always existed.
No. 2173240
>>2172850I'm an autist but I really feel for you with adhd in this current landscape. I think there are way more people faking adhd than autism right now. Every second person has adhd now and it's just not realistic. Of course since I don't have adhd I'm not allowed to criticize it, though I'm sure if I had adhd the same people would just call me a gatekeeper.
I even see it in the grown adults around me who have been living fully functionally their whole lives but at 45 years old suddenly claim to always have had adhd because of one or two minor things.
No. 2173375
>>2173347Yeah, I went to a private school that was mostly for autists and while a couple of the girls could be the “tackleglomp yaoiiiii” brand of socially inept autist, I’d say that was really rare, and the majority of autistic girls were hygienic and empathetic and overall really pleasant to be around, maybe just a bit socially anxious or dorky. Meanwhile most autistic guys there reeked of ass sweat and garbage, had stained teeth and grease slicked hair, were repeatedly violent towards other students and teachers, and constantly engaged in extremely bad social issues like ripping ass in front of other people, loud burping, scratching their balls, taking their shoes off and putting disgusting dirty socks with holes up on lunch tables, throwing massive violent tantrums where they’d fling themselves on the floor, and overtly and egregiously sexually harassing the girls “can I touch your tits” etc. Almost all autistic guys I have met take zero care of themselves and believe the world revolves around them, that everyone wrongfully conspires to hate and abandon them, that people giving needed social critique or reacting badly means that all those people are terrible and so on.
And the adult male autists I‘ve met are mostly assholes who complain about their bitch moms making them do dishes, while having their mom feed them tendies and drive them around at age 35. A couple of them I knew of were booted from jobs and/or banned from entering certain locations because of sexual harassment and stalking. That or they’re 6’3” 300lb troons named Artemis Evangelion. Quite frankly as autistic women I see no reason we should innately accept these losers as being our true equivalents.
No. 2173376
>>2173347This. Autistic girls and women are autistic moids’ primary targets. They think they’re entitled to us, both sexually and in the sense of emotional labour, because we “of all people, should understand”. That solidarity never goes the other way, though, and if we expect any kind of reciprocation then that’s ableism.
Autistic women are expected to empathise with autistic men because we’re autistic but autistic men can’t be expected to empathise with autistic women
because they’re autistic. Logic!
No. 2173382
>>2173376kek, stealing this argument. based
>>2173375i was somehow both tackleglomp yaoi minecraft autistic girl and hygienic empath girl
No. 2173448
>>2173220Thanks for explaining. If each level is so very different from the core I do see a reason to completely differentiate between high and low functioning as disorders but I‘m not sure, neither am I an expert at all.
I just want to know why, even if different at the core, each level relates with the others symptom wise.
No. 2173554
>>2173347Didn't even know I was autistic myself at the time but every male autist I was stuck being near through school or early on shit jobs was a copy and paste default unwashed creep. Stalker tendencies, obsessively crushing on some poor girl at all times and everyone around is made painfully aware of it with their transparent pervy games. Trying to get as touchy as possible and maybe accidently brush against a boob. Pushing boundaries and their own luck with that bs. Casually talking about how much they masterbate and then flipping the question around thinking women will gladly describe masturbation habits right back. Liars (who'd weirdly claim that lying is impossible with autism??) and wannabe manipulators but thankfully so bad at it that they have a whole force field around them that'll help to repel most people.
Slobs in every sense who'd sure as hell always set their stalker sights on women who're clean, presentable, smell nice, dress clean and are pleasant. Amazing how they can spot standards in others and not apply any of that same shit to themselves.
No. 2174207
File: 1726951292336.png (2.01 MB, 1420x1280, 1000003112.png)
>some of the people closest to me think i might have autism
>ehh, i may have a few autistic traits but there's a genetic link with autism so its probably unlikely
>visit my family for the first time in 4 years
>dad has meltdowns almost every day getting upset about seemingly nothing or completely normal things
well damn
No. 2174820
>>2173462It's only a specific crowd on the side of woke who gets offended over it. They're the same people who argued "it's not disabled, it's differently abled!" until disabled people were like "actually that's stupid, we are disabled and that's ok, stop trying to make it sound cute and inspiring" so now they all think "differently abled" is a slur instead.
Literally the same group of people. They have a superiority + savior complex and try to find offensive things to complain about so they can one-up people with how good and woke they are.
No. 2174829
>>2173899>that's interesting because from my perspective, autism is now more commonly faked. i think because adhd is still seen as a funny quirk by many people whereas autism is more recognized as a serious disability. I think the more extreme cases go for faking autism so they're a bit more visible, but on average there are more adhd fakers because they can get away with it without too much effort. The theatrics needed to fake autism for a non-autist usually also comes with being attention-seeking, such as Jill/pixilocks. While for adhd it's usually just being like "oops forgot to do a thing once, very adhd of me". And it's socially acceptable to call yourself "a bit adhd" now, less so with autism though I've heard that too once or twice.
What's funny is just the other day I saw yet another content creator I've been following making a "coming out" video about recently being diagnosed with adhd. This is yet another person who has been a full-time content creator for over a decade, all on his own. Scripting, filming, editing, traveling for videos, making collabs etc and still never missing a single deadline, always consistent. I'm sorry but where is the adhd struggle? I know social media doesn't show the whole picture but if you're so put together that your life is 100% normal and functional for more than a decade without any help or support… you just don't need a diagnosis, it means nothing.
I might be wrong here but I think average normie people like to think they have adhd as an excuse to why they're not perfect or excellent. It's their modern version of how old men would go "I could have been a pro football player IF ONLY it wasn't for…" and for them it's "if only it wasn't for my adhd". But of course some of the blame is also on whoever diagnosed obvious cases of normies, I think some of them enjoy handing out diagnoses like candy and telling themselves they're saving lives.
No. 2175093
>>2174842>using being scatterbrained to say they have ADHDone of my eternal pet peeves. I feel like a borderline retard sometimes because of muh adhd, and I (and many others) have suffered greatly as a child especially because of it. It’s not quirky and fun and it’s not cute. I’m sure other nonnas ITT have felt the constant struggle of it. Being at all smart but having adhd is fucking awful also because you constantly are being told “no you’re not” by your own brain and behaviors. Sorry to vent in response to your post kek I’m just having one today. Normally I manage it pretty well without meds
and lots and lots of fitness and some weed but sometimes when something bad happens or something out of my routine that’s too much to handle I just freeze and lay there like a box and it’s frustrating because I know I’m not a full retard but god does my brain seem to want me to be sometimes
No. 2176488
Tell me if I'm overreacting. I keep thinking about one thing my female coworker told me not long after I started working in our department for the first time. It's been like 2 years and since then she became nice to me, but because of those weird words I could never look at her "clearly" and trust her fully, see her as a potential colleague etc. So when I first started working, nobody told me shit basically, the instructions weren't very clear, and it wasn't just my problem, because back then they never told new people, for example, until what time certain orders need to be finished. Each had a cut off time, but nobody told us that, and then they were getting angry at us for not doing something fast enough etc. My problem was amplified by my autism. So one time I didn't finish some orders before it was my time to go home, so I left them to my coworker, who was on the evening shift; that's something we just do to this day, we leave the job for people from next shift if we won't finish it on time. So she was angry at me for not doing enough and because she didn't had much time left to finsh it before cut off time (in reality she still had like 1,5 hour to finish it, which I didn't know back then, and now I think it was enough time to finish it no problem, but even if it wasn't, I don't think it would justify the way she spoke to me). So after she took the papers from me, she turned away and basically barked at me
>I should stick that into your throat
I froze and I didn't respond at all, because I couldn't really understand that level of agression and how could she say something like this to someone who was basically a stranger. Seemed really unhinged. So yeah, it's been 2 years and I still think about. And like, she can be very nice sometimes, but if you really disagree on something with her, her "other" side crawls out really quickly.
So, do you think I keep circling back to those words because of my autistic tendency to overthink stuff, or was there really something vile about she said? Also, I remember that when I admitted to her I'm autistic, she said something among the lines "Really? I can't believe it, you don't seem stupid!". And after some time, when I reminded her her words, she said "What?! There's no way, I would never say something like this!" I noticed some "normal" people have a really hard time remembering what they actually said to me, and then act shocked or offended when I remind them. But I always remember. I remember everything kids said to me when they bullied me when I was 11. Just everything. I bet my coworker wouldn't remember her words about sticking papers into my throat either.
No. 2176520
File: 1727120708272.jpg (60.92 KB, 1024x576, 1000065409.jpg)
>>2175995It's just that it really sounds like a slur because it isn't even something made by the people that are being described by the words.
Like, I don't care how many good intentions someone may have, but calling me a neurodivergent doesn't even make sense, it's just someone grabbing every mental condition ever and putting them in a basket that when asked, you will have to explain autism and why you're actually autistic and not a schizo or that you don't have OCD.
Like, isn't it easier to just say autistic? Or to say oh yeah, I have ADD? Like if everyone really went full retard like
>I'm a neurodivergent latinx that's big bodied!It would be obnoxious because then you have to explain what can't be seen, like being autistic and not a bpd-chan or why you're a latina if you "don't look" latina enough.
Plus, if again, it was made by ourselves, like maybe it would make sense to use the "inclusive" terms, but they're made by people that "have a friend" or "have a family member" with some condition, disability or anything that makes them different to themselves, and that makes them uncomfortable and they use the "non-inclusive" terms with bad intentions, they know this, so they feel guilty and create "softer" terms to be seen as social justice warriors that just want to help.
No. 2176542
>>2176488>I should stick that into your throatthat's really vile ans something you should never say to your coworkers. if she really had issues she should have told you less violently or brought it up to someone else.
>And like, she can be very nice sometimes, but if you really disagree on something with her, her "other" side crawls out really quickly. it doesn't sound like you're wrong at being scared of her.
> I noticed some "normal" people have a really hard time remembering what they actually said to me, and then act shocked or offended when I remind them. But I always remember. I remember everything kids said to me when they bullied me when I was 11. Just everything. I bet my coworker wouldn't remember her words about sticking papers into my throat either.People usually don't specifically remember how they hurt other people but
victims will remember how they were hurt. Autistic people also remember things differently, so you might be more prone or sensitive to recalling this stuff too. I'm sorry nonna.
No. 2176598
>>2176488I don’t think you’re overreacting, that would really bother me too and if it happens frequently it sounds like she has some anger issues. I used to have a boss who’d flip like this out of nowhere when something upset him and it was actually scary.
>I noticed some "normal" people have a really hard time remembering what they actually said to me, and then act shocked or offended when I remind them. But I always remember. I remember everything kids said to me when they bullied me when I was 11. Just everything.Same here. I have a very good memory for things people say, not just the negative stuff but trivial things as well that nobody else ever remembers. I wish people would just admit they don’t remember something instead of insisting that they never said it and accusing me of making things up. Sometimes I doubt myself so much that I look up old emails or chatlogs to confirm and so far I’ve been 100% right about what was said every time, but I realise that showing up days later waving a decade old chatlog around would make me seem pretty unhinged so I usually try to drop it for my own mental health’s sake.
No. 2177488
>>2177430ND is the ‘queer’ of mental health.
>>2177441Do you also get people who get weirded out when you reference something they told you a while ago but forgot telling you about? During social skills training (lol) they told us that we should do this because it shows people we’re interested and thoughtful, but in practice people seem to think it’s creepy. Especially because there’s always a major imbalance between me and others where I know/remember a lot of information about them (that they forgot they ever told me) but they know next to nothing about me because 1) they don’t ask, 2) they don’t listen and 3) they don’t remember. Nowadays I pretend not to remember things people tell me just so they don’t look at me like some obsessed stalker but then they end up telling me the exact same stories over and over.
>>2177476I have major issues with interoception, which is a known trait in people with ASD, but not a single mental health professional ever picked up on it in my decade+ of being in The System and I rarely see/hear people discuss it. It’s probably the main thing I struggle with on a daily basis and it was a major revelation when I found out that this was a thing with a name. I pretty much had to find out about it myself through googling “why can’t I tell the difference between hungry/cold/hot/angry/sad/tired autism”.
No. 2177509
>>2177476idk, whatever the fuck handflapping is called but not cute? are they tics? i used to have really retarded compulsions when i got stressed that included sniffing my fingers, rolling my eyes upwward and downward and to the side so hard it made my eyes hurt, squishing my fingers along my jaw, jumping on the bed etc
now my spergy energy-draining thing is pacing, i have to fight really hard not to bolt into a run and literally sprint around like a tard when i'm excited, i have mostly been able to contain it to pacing or even just forcing myself to sit still like when im at work.
No. 2177542
>>2177521There are a lot of autistic women into lolita, and not just self-diagnosed TikTok trenders. My comm used to have a number of level 2 autistic women who’d get dropped off at our meets by their caretakers, which was incredibly awkward for everyone involved because none of us were trained to deal with it when things went wrong.
I think it’s the overlap between weeb shit and princessy dresses that’s irresistible to a certain subset of autistic girls and the vast majority of them are into sweet, but there’s a few into the other substyles too. Obviously it won’t appeal to people whose sensory issues prohibit fussy or restrictive clothing, but for some of us who don’t have such a big issue with it it’s like catnip. I actually stopped attending meet-ups because a significant subset of community members didn’t know how to behave in public and turned the meets into miniature anime conventions.
No. 2177606
>>2177495Ah, so sorry nonna. Sadly this is very common with women in therapy, as you're probably aware of. I myself was diagnosed very recently with ASD even though I've been in therapy for about 7 years. Classic "It's probably anxiety, depression, OCD and everything else BUT autism because she's a girl" situation.
Things have improved luckily and I hope you can find help if these things are still impairing your daily life.
No. 2177610
>>2177509Holy shit you just described my exact mannerisms. Ever since I was little I had the urge to run and pace, jumping on the bed comes in combination with this (I've broken three beds because of this).
That and "weird/dumb/ugly looking" stims like kicking the air and squeezing my bottom lip together.
Makes me mad that "stimming" is seen as a "cute" thing now because if I did this excessively in public I'd be clocked as a retard immediately.
No. 2178151
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>>2177610KEK i have also broken beds by jumping on them anon. help. i hate it. like i said i can at least control myself to not run around and jump (partly forcing myself to since now i live above someone) but i still have to pace if i'm home. if i'm at work i can usually control it but sometimes i have to let it out so i'll wander around pretending like i'm looking for something.
i forgot it was even called "stimming" since i've never heard a professional use that term, just tiktok tards who think dancing to music is a "stim."
No. 2178301
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>>2175093There are so many adhd women I have known who thought they had early onset dementia before getting diagnosed. Being scatterbrained can be truly debilitating.
>>2177488>Do you also get people who get weirded out when you reference something they told you a while ago but forgot telling you about? During social skills training (lol) they told us that we should do this because it shows people we’re interested and thoughtful, but in practice people seem to think it’s creepy.I'm an adhdnona but I also have a great memory about people. The way to make it not weird is phrasing it as a question and connecting it to the current conversation. In a conversation about the weather you could say "You said you went to school in Connecticut right? How was the weather there this time of year?" for example.
>>2178151I use to think I didn't have any hyperactivity symptoms until I saw my self-view on zoom kek. I'm also a big pacer at home, sometimes for hours at a time.
No. 2178376
>>2177488>Do you also get people who get weirded out when you reference something they told you a while ago but forgot telling you about? During social skills training (lol) they told us that we should do this because it shows people we’re interested and thoughtful, but in practice people seem to think it’s creepy.I've also had social skills training kek but yes, I tell them something they said and they're shocked and weirded out I rememeber something so far back. It wasn't always that long ago, but it can range from a few weeks to things from my childhood. Fair enough if it was like 10 years ago though, I guess. I know several people who straight up don't remember their own childhoods, and while that seems freaky and weird to me I guess that's fairly common.
I've currently got 3 methods of dealing with people repeating themselves.
1 is to go "oh yeah I think you mentioned that before" which can make them stop repeating it. I kinda have to act like they only mentioned it briefly once before though or they get weirded out, though I think them realizing they don't remember something is what freaks them out.
2 is to use the opportunity to seem smart kek. Like if they start telling me a cool fact I get to continue on it going "oh yeah the A that does B, and really neat how they also do C". And they get really impressed and think I'm smart, fully forgetting they're the one who told me all of this last month and I knew nothing before that.
3 is to use the opportunity to practice social skills. Because I already know what they're going to say I can tailor questions and work on when I should be replying or nodding and look interested and such to see how they react and how/if it's different than previous times they told the same story.
I have aspie and adhd friends who claim to have really bad memories, but from my perspective they don't have bad memories compared to normies and are pretty much exactly the same. And the fact that they know they're forgetting something already seems better than the normies who aren't even aware they forget things.
>Nowadays I pretend not to remember things people tell me just so they don’t look at me like some obsessed stalker but then they end up telling me the exact same stories over and over.Another thing I do is I listen to take note of the details they've changed in the story kek there's always something that keeps getting slightly more exaggerated. I've considered embracing the "stalker" part and secretly take notes of the dates they told me the story. Just for personal interest, I wonder if there's a certain time period it takes for them to repeat the same one
No. 2179302
I wanted to add to that post
>>2176488 I feel like nobody respects me and nobody takes me seriously. I dont know if it's something about the tone of my voice or my face, I don't know. I'm shit at defending myself because of that because I got so used to people denying or devaluing my opinion and my side of the story, not to mention my emotions. I couldn’t defend myself at school or at home, I can't defend myself at work even when I'm sure I'm right, I mean like the double standards for example, like if someone else makes a mistake, it's played off as a joke, but when I make a mistake, I get eye rolls or cold treatment etc. I was also bullied by one of my coworkers for a year and she spread gross rumors about me, but my boss didn't really believe me. I barely talked at work for the first year, then I opened a little but still didn't talk as much at work as others. But I get reprimended for talking, meanwhile my coworkers are not, probably because our shift leader likes them and she also talks with them like a "friend". I once told my boss it was unfair, how for example our shift leader was talking about hotels for vacation for like 20 minutes with one of my coworkers (the one who bullied me) when we were pretty busy, and my boss called my shift leader and asked if that was true, and she basically denied it, so case closed. I feel like I antagonize people without even knowing it. Other's speak their mind, even scream or cuss out loud, but they're seen as workers with "personality". I go against the herd and speak my mind once, and I'm treated like a child, a retard, or an antagonist. My whole life people either treated me like a pet and talked to me like I was a child, or they seen me as an antagonist who did everything out of bad will. The only people in my life who spoke with respect to me was my therapist, and in the past my literature teacher, whom I really miss. The later also appreciated my intelligence and knowledge and autistic obsession with specific topics. But everyone else… I'm so tired of this. Even people from work who used to be nice to me, the moment I oppose to something (like I refuse to help because I feel like I don't have enough time for my own task, even though I refuse very rarely) or quesion their behavior, they do 180 on me and say things like "watch your tone when you speak to me" or go to my boss and say I said something in a rude tone, while I was totally sure it was neutral (but I know someone could read that differently). I can't do banter so I'm never a part of "fun" group conversations. I can do one on one conversations and then I'm really good at specific topics, but like 2 people in the enitre department can appreciate that and talk with me on those topics because they also interest them and I can see they enjoy it. I feel like everybody is playing a game and everyone knows the rules except me. Again, those cases when I was openly confronted with someone didn't happen often, but after 3 years of working there, all those feelings piled up in me and I feel like I'm about to blow. I was one of the fastes workers in the past, sometimes the fastest, but I grow so tired of the treatment and double standards, I became slower. Not intentionally, I just don't have the strenght I used to have, I can barely get out of bed, and after work I go straight to bed in my clothes. Every day looks the same. I sleep on the weekends.
Last week at work was really bad. And before that I was sick for one week and put on antibiotics, but two of my coworkers questioned it and thought I was faking it because apparently I don't care about the job anymore and my boss also sees "lack of motivation". So I said I want to have a group conversation about it, and my boss said the manager will be also present, and I want every coworker who talks behind my back to say those things outloud and also show my point of view. It will probably happen on friday and I will probably make a retard out of myself, but at this point I'm so done. I have one person on my "side", so I feel a little better, I'm less afeaid of this meeting.
I really feel retarded after years of this treatment. I will never feel like an adult. Sometimes I'm afraid I will just break in public and fall on the floow and start screaming
No. 2179338
I hate being an autistic woman at times. I'm 27, on the dole, and still live with my mum because I'm too retarded to live on my own or have a job. It's so lonely and isolating and every time I try and do something normie (go to university, get a job etc,) I end up having a huge sperg meltdown because I can't handle being around other people and end up quitting. I'm tired, nonnies. Male autists get away with EVERYTHING- from the retard who raped me at university because he was autistic so he didn't understand what he was doing!!! Fuck off, autistic women know not to rape people. The university let him get away with it too because muh autism. Autistic moids will rape, sexually harass, have straight up obsessions with Hitler and shite like that and it's excused. But the moment an autistic woman has a meltdown because of sensory overload (because people are INCAPABLE OF NOT FUCKING TOUCHING ME WHEN THEY TALK TO ME) and we're evil bitches, selfish, miserable etc. which is clearly worse than anything moids can do!! I fucking hate this
No. 2179343
>>2179302>I feel like nobody respects me and nobody takes me seriously. I dont know if it's something about the tone of my voice or my face, I don't know. I'm shit at defending myself My autist friend (i'm also an autist) is a bit like this too and it's painful to watch. Both to see her get run over by people who don't respect her, but also that she "lets" them do it. I hate how even when she's in the right she'll just apologize and lie to please them. I hate when I can tell she lies to me because she thinks that's what I want to hear and that she's not allowed to disagree with me…
But I digress. I'm sorry you get treated that way nona. I know it's hard but I think you should seriously start looking into changing job. You just can't stay around
toxic shitheads. If that's impossible, I suggest you join some kind of hobby group. I don't care what it is, but preferably something that gets you out like once a week to meet likeminded people. You need more positive people in your life.
No. 2179369
>>2179338>still live with my mum because I'm too retarded to live on my own or have a job.Same age and I also live with my mum and work part time. My mom is great though, I like living with her so I have no complaints. I'm open with still living with my mom, only teenagers look at me like I'm a loser who should have left home at 18. Meanwhile all adults are telling me "that is SO great, stay for as long as you can. Wish I could have stayed with my parents for longer".
>every time I try and do something normie (go to university, get a job etc,) I end up having a huge sperg meltdown because I can't handle being around other people and end up quitting.What would make you able to go? Can you take up online courses instead or find some autist program where they allow you to work in peace not around people?
>Male autists get away with EVERYTHINGI'm sorry that douchebag hurt you. That guy should get a bullet to the head, and I really mean that, but I still have to say that making autist men out to be a scapegoat won't help you.
Abusive males will abuse, autism or not. Not having autism makes them a lot more able and willing to abuse and manipulate people, most genuine autist men are asexual and obsessed with trains and don't know women exist. The university people who let the guy get away with it aren't autists, and sadly I think the guys autism was irrelevant and they would have claimed the moid was innocent in any way they could because rapist moids defend other rapist moids no matter what. He could have a chipped toe nail and they would have claimed that was enough to let him get away.
No. 2180299
>>2179302god,
nonny… I feel you absolutely and it’s infuriating to get treated like this. It’s like we, as autistic women, automatically have to work five times harder just to be seen as human. Your coworkers sound especially shitty and pathetic and I’m sorry you’re being pushed around by them.
No. 2180451
>>2180295Of course most people will be normal, it's in the word. Why does it really matter that you're different? If you're nice and friendly people don't really care. Even if they judge you when first seeing you just talking to them nicely a few times changes their mind. My colleagues are all middle age people with families and normal interests, I'm a weird introverted alt fashion autist weeb gamer with brightly dyed hair and we all get along great.
You're literally creating this cycle for yourself. When you assume people see you as a pathetic ugly loser your attitude and body language will show that you have contempt for them, that you're judging them in a negative light, and that you're the one who finds them "repulsive" and don't want to associated with them. And in turn they don't like you back either.
>because I dress weird and don’t have any status markers.You say this is a job but you're telling it like your colleagues are all immature 15 year olds at most. Normie adults just do not think that way at all. Unless you're talking about very high class people who look own on everyone else, which I honestly doubt. If you really hate it and think it's because of how you dress, then just get a handful of normie clothes to wear at work and dress however you like in private.
No. 2181586
Hello nonnas, today I started seeing my therapist again after a long break and she asked me if I'd ever considered that I might be autistic.
There are a lot of autistic experiences that I also experience: sensory issues that lead to meltdown/shut down, being very "particular" about certain things, repetitive thought patterns, being uncomfortable doing something new that I haven't practiced for, and often feeling wrong or alien in relation to other people, feeling misunderstood, etc.
However, I'm very empathetic and even though I had issues socially as a kid, I can be outgoing now and make conversation pretty easily if I'm in the right mood for it. I can read faces, but I am very gullible and take everything at face value.
Some of the things itt I can't relate to at all: I have always been very preoccupied with what others think of me. I do think some social routines like small talk can be boring but I like talking to people for the most part. What do you nonnies think?
No. 2181659
>>2177521I personally love lolita and i have autism so i guess i am not helping the allegations. I recall seeing a video made by a psychologist on youtube saying the a lot of autistic people generally have an attraction to alt stuff, so the correlation is very much real. I've always thought that if you spend a lot of your life being told you are weird, you won't have much issues indulging in a fashion that encapsulates weirdness in the eyes of normies.
>>2174842Honestly, the memory loss has to be the part of adhd that makes me want to kill myself. It's humiliating forgetting shit somebody just told you 10 seconds ago and constantly having to ask people to repeat basic instructions. I wish every normie could experience how this feels like because it's honestly life ruining shit. Then you have people saying adhd is fucking fake, like for fucks sake.
No. 2182847
>>2179343>>2180299ANONS I feel so proud of myself. Today everyone from our shift had 1 on 1 conversation with our team leader (it's like a yearly check in how the employee is doing) and I used it as an opportunity and basically told her EVERYTHING and I told her that I feel like nothing I say is taken seriously by others so I had an epiphany that I may as well fuck it and say everything I actually think and feel (that's literally what I said). And she was like "when if someone basically never comes to me, like you, but then you come and tell me all of this, it means something is actually happening". I had notes with me but I barely looked at them because words were just pouring out of me. I spoke for like an hour. I felt like she actually took it very seriously. And she said that she thinks I'm doing great and she has absolutely no problem with me as an eployee and she likes the fact that I'm finally more open and brave, and that my coworkers probably don't understand that change in me, because they were so used to me always saying "yes" to everything and not being assertive and doing extra job for others, that now they see me as an aggressor or something, but she doesn't see anything bad with my more defensive/assertive behavior. And when I told her what girls from my shift talked about others and me (implying that basically nobody but them works anymore and everyone else is slacking off, especially me, since I don't work as fast as a literal robot anymore, but a normal human) she said "Wow we really need this group conversation that you spoke about before". And we will have it on monday. She wrote everything I said down and then called my shift leader for a 1 on 1 conversation (the one who I felt was biased towards me) and they spoke for like 40 minutes. I felt so much better, like I lost some huge baggage. I'm not even afraid of this group conversation anymore, despite the fact everyone will be there, including the manager himself.
And the funny thing about the two female coworkers who talked shit behind my back when I was sick, and I pointed out to one of them how she's late to work literally every single day for the entire year but nobody calls her out on it because she's friendly with out shift leader - now for the past week they were coming like 5-10 minutes before work and staying for extra hours after work and cleaning every tiny piece of dust after themselves. It's all so performative, because the one who was always late never done that shit before KEK. But now they have to show they're such good workers and they care about the job so much. Meanwhile I work my normal tempo and I don't give a fuck anymore.
No. 2186418
>>2182847Good job nona! I love that you did that for yourself. At this point you got your side out so even if the place stays
toxic and you want to leave for a better job at least they can't pretend like they didn't know what was going on.
From my own autist point of view I think going through the experience of making complaints and having them heard in a meeting is really useful. Seeing how people react and what happens is super interesting. I had a similar experience but it wasn't at work. Finally getting heard meant a lot to me and it really did feel like I could finally "let go" and not give any fucks anymore. At the same time it gave me the energy to keep fighting. I love the calm and confident feeling of being ready to fight because I know for a fact I'm the one in the right and they're the ones who acted badly. It doesn't take any effort, I just have to be honest while they have to scramble and lie their way out.
No. 2188068
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im so tired
No. 2188551
>>2184994>>2186418So yeah… we had this "group" meeting but without the manager, unfortunately, I wanted him to be there because some people wouldn't behave the way they did with him present, probably. But anyway, unfortunately the thing that I feared happened, and basically every time I tried to speak and give arguments, I was talked over or interrupted, one of the female coworkers is really loud (basically screaming) and she almost always speaks this way when someone disagrees with her, and she was talking over me and my friend basically all the time, and after some time we just stopped trying. Our team leader didn't openly side with anyone, she just said that all of us make drama and if we won't be able to work together she will have to mix teams or straight up send people to different departments. Our shift leader had tears in her eyes and couldn’t say anything of substance besides that all of us are guilty to some extent (which I openly agreed with). One of the coworkers was really rude to me, basically doing the typical mean girl behavior, with the facial expressions, mocking my words, or responding to me with stuff like "oh please" or "yeah sure" with ironic tone and basically talking to me like I was a child, like this was the kind of behavior I would expect from a 18 year old mean girl, not a 48 year old woman… And when I said I never went to complain about others until now, meanwhile people were often talking behind my back, she replied with "oh yeah because you're so innocent" with that fake baby voice. What the hell? It was really hard for me, because once I get interrupted and talked over that many times, I lose track, I just get so depressed I stop trying, I feel like I can't win anyway. Well, at least I told what I wanted to say to my team leader when we had that 1 on 1 conversation. Tomorrow I'm planning to ask her if it's possible to just move me to the other shift, without mixing anyone else (because then my coworkers would blame me for the mixing). I'm so sick of this place
No. 2189547
>>2188551Your coworkers are actual idiots nonna, I'm so sorry that you're being put in a situation where you're forced to engage with their immaturity. Being 48 and like this is mind boggling, but I guess being a miserable asshole has not age limits. I pity the people she goes home to at the end of the day.
Are these the same women who were showing up to work late and creating more work for others every day? They sound like they have serious issues beyond being bullies that will follow them through life. Meanwhile once you are no longer in contact with them, their issues are no longer your problem. I hope you get what you ask for and are freed from them soon. Best wishes.
No. 2192902
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>>2192889Not an autist but an adhd anon. I purposely obfuscate details about myself with acquaintances and coworkers. It’s partly a trauma response from
being stalked but also so I can better separate my work life from my personal. I work in a male dominated field and have no intention of my colleagues believing we are close or that they know anything about me. I have multiple long term and enriching friendships and don’t need more.
No. 2192958
>>2191931I hate this too. But at least when they misinterpret an interaction I can strive to modify my behaviour so I don’t get misinterpreted next time. What really annoys me is that most of the time I’m not even interacting with these people and they project all sorts of shit onto me when I’m just minding my own business. People always assume I’m stuck up and think I’m better than them even though I wasn’t thinking about them at all. Even when I try to explain that, for example, the reason I don’t join them in the cafeteria is because the cafeteria is extremely overstimulating, they think I’m just making excuses and secretly hate them because they can’t imagine being badly overstimulated in a cafeteria. Having low EQ is supposed to be an autistic trait but in my experience, most neurotypical people can’t empathise with people who are very different from themselves, either. This doesn’t get labelled as low empathy because most people
are like them and their projections and assumptions are statistically more likely to be correct. It’s frustrating how me having difficulty understanding them is my fault, but their having difficulty understanding me is
also my fault just because I’m in the minority. I never have these issues with other hf autistic women.
No. 2193006
>>2192889Yes but only with details too personal for my liking, I'm fine with superficial details. Ever since I was young I had trouble talking about myself and sharing details, which becomes an issue when it's with people that are meant to help. I can recognize it's an issue with vulnerability
and having how much of a retarded loser I am exposed at least in the present, but I don't like being like this. I don't like lying either so I have to manage it around that. The issue is I'm so bad with people that I don't know what's considered "normal" to share and what's appropriate, particularly in relation to levels of closeness in different settings that I have no idea how to judge either. Then in turn when I don't share when I'm expected to, I fear people will think either I'm being disrespectful to them or that I'm closed off, cold and distant, which becomes an issue when I like the people in question.
No. 2193077
>>2192958>What really annoys me is that most of the time I’m not even interacting with these people and they project all sorts of shit onto me when I’m just minding my own business.The amount of time my coworkers have told me random things and I just politely listened without saying anything, only for a third person coming in and describing everything as if "we" were saying all those things drives me nuts. It's always "WE were just saying how much the new guy Steve sucks" when I didn't agree at all and now this other person think I also hate Steve when I've never even met him.
The weird thing is everyone kinda likes me because they project their ideal personality onto me and pretend I agree with everything they say, and since I can't be bothered to speak up and correct them it just keeps going on.
No. 2194284
>>2193112I think it's partly got to do with the fact that I'm directly interacting with them when this is happening. They're talking at me and I'm sort of nicely smiling and nodding along as if I cared. I learned that's the "correct" way to act friendly and respectful as a kid so it's stuck with me. So I'm guessing to them it comes across as if I think they're a super interesting person and that makes them happy.
I've also been told girls/women project onto me at first when they haven't ever talked to me. Usually it would be a friend of a friend who made up their mind about me, but then when they got to know me (because of that mutual friend) they'd learn I wasn't like they first had thought. I only know this because the mutual friends would find it funny to tell me what other people thought about me.
The downside is that sometimes men in particular also think I'm into them (I never am) because I appear more attentive and interested than other females and they aren't used to it. At least that's my theory. But on the flip side I think that makes the men like me more too, because they think a woman is interested in them so it gives them a confidence boost or something and they help me out more too kek so it's only really bothersome if they act on it
No. 2194308
>>2194283I'm gonna jump into this too. I'm someone who was diagnosed with aspergers and is constantly doubting it. I can tell I'm not exactly normal and my brain doesn't function like the average persons. I see average people do things and I don't get why they'd do or think like that. But when I see other aspies and how they act it clicks in my brain that they act and think the same way I do… usually this is true for both male and female aspies I see. And I can see average people confused over their (to me) super obvious thought patterns and actions. So I know there is something there. However when I see other autists/asd/on the spectrum (usually online, but sometimes irl) I don't get that feeling. It goes back to not getting how their brains function either.
One thing I've always liked doing is analyzing words and texts (I'm esl and on a gossip forum so don't bully me for not being perfectly accurate with my text this time kek). And that's supposedly even a thing that points towards aspergers, having advanced reading and language skills is a sign for it. This has never fully added up to me, because how can I be an autist with social deficiency and also at the same time have MORE understanding in some forms of communication? And I do the same as you nona:
>I wanted to show her just how densely every sentence she writes is packed with submissive social signalsI point these things out to friends. Sometimes I feel like I'm way better at picking up these signals than even average people. Sometimes I see super obvious body language signs from people trying to manipulate me into doing what they want, signs that normal people don't seem to see at all. But then somehow I'm also still the one to later miss signals and not understand how average people think.
I wonder if instead of it being "natural" I have better pattern recognition or something like that. That my brain is automatically compensating in areas that make me analyze and understand things it doesn't naturally pick up the way average people do. I really wish they'd kept aspergers and autism separate labels. It would be so much easier to think this is just an aspie thing you do when one smaller area of the brain is affected compared to full autism. Right now it's just confusing to wonder if I'm really an autist or not. I'm seemingly exactly like this super small subset of it (that used to be called aspergers) while I'm nothing like the majority of autists.
No. 2194376
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Accidentally let my mask slip at work yesterday when talking to a coworker. We switched offices a while back and she was saying it was lonely when our other coworker is off because she's the only one over there. I said "Oh I liked that office, I don't really care if people come and talk to me or not". I didn't think much of it after the conversation, but when I was recounting my day to my friend she was like "you actually said that to her?" Did not realize in the moment I probably shouldn't say things like that out loud because it makes me sound retarded and antisocial but I really didn't know how else to reply kek. Guess I'll have to add that to my mental catalogue of how to have a normal conversation that is filled with other slip ups so I know not to do it again.
No. 2195173
File: 1728176547021.png (1.16 MB, 1080x1079, sadness.png)
I get stupid defensive when people compliment me for mundane shit or say I'm smart. It just reminds me of how kids and adults used to treat me extra nice like a sped growing up, and I can't shake it after all this time. The fucks wrong with me?
I have a case worker who compliments me for the simplest tasks, such as plugging a fucking webcam into my PC, typing something into google, copying and pasting a fucking link.
>Wow anon you're soOOOoo tech-savvy you really got to hand it to yourself wow look at you
It pisses me off and I really want to tell her that. I know it's probably her job to butter up mental cases but it's so infantilizing. For context too she is only 6 yrs my senior (I'm in my early 30s) so it's not like she's a tech illiterate boomer. I hate that I'm locked down with her, that I need a case worker to begin with. This all just reinforces to me that I'm a retarded abomination
No. 2197957
>>2192889YES. I used to always try my hardest to mold my personality into what the popular/socially successful girls would want because from how i saw it, if i was to fit into their ingroup, i wouldn't have to worry about what people thought of me and i wouldn't have to worry so hard about struggling with socialisation because i could just ride off whatever they say. I gave up in my teens when i realised how shit i actually was a masking, nobody saw me for who i wanted to be, but they saw this really weird and creepy girl who they needed to stay from at worst, a pity case to carry out some charity work on at best, which honestly offended me strongly more than being ignored. I was so sick of people pitying me for not being good at socialising, for having no friends and for being weird, since then i have spent my life just shutting people out, being overly cautious with who i share my thoughts with because i have already internalised that who i am is not appropriate or desirable for most normies. I also have a huge issue with socialising in regards to the fact that i get exhausted from trying to say what the other person wants me to say, having a simple conversation is like doing algebra and it's completely unnatural most of the time. I have to know when to pretend to smile, know when to throw in a fake laugh and have all my answers pre-prepared because i know they will never be able to comprehend my issues no matter how hard i could explain it to them, not that i think they have any right to that information. I have become schizoid because of this and i don't think i could ever possibly make a friend irl, especially as an adult woman nearing 30 where as the years go by, i have practically nothing in common with most women. I do think that my life would improve if i at least had one friend to hang out with and be open with, but i find with most people i never ever reach a point where i can be open to them, so i avoid giving them any information about myself to keep myself agreeable and stay silent to avoid conflict, especially when they are a co-worker or a fellow student.
No. 2198062
File: 1728347932015.jpg (114.97 KB, 736x726, 1000070190.jpg)
>>2192889In my case it's weird. I feel like I overshare, and like I'm annoying, cringe and that I should shut up. But then my actual friends (I would dare say acquaintances in some cases) will blurt out that they know nothing about me, that they never know what I'm up to or how I'm feeling even.
Like, idk, I just don't know what's okay to say and what's too much. Then again, I was also raised to truly believe in the evil eye so I never tell anything like plans to people that aren't close family or my really close best friend that I kind of wish I could marry because she's really amazing and kind.
So I guess it makes sense how I wouldn't be like, the kind of person that would really talk about her own life goals and such, which is basically all most people could possibly talk about without talking about the past and trauma? I guess?
But at the same time I think and notice how nobody except from my family and my best friend really give a fuck about what I say because their faces, body language and tone say so, so I just don't even bother at this point.
No. 2198226
>>2198138>clonidineMight look into asking my psychiatrist about it as it could be an improvement from rawdogging. I think of my already low sex drive is a feature not a bug.
Sometimes I worry I don’t have ADHD for real since I tried Strattera and found it did not do much whereas dexamphetamine made me feel me hyper happy for the first hour followed by intense anxiety.
Ritalin just made me feel really angry.
I probably have some trauma related brain problems but I found an adult ADHD diagnosis helped me learn coping methods for my executive dysfunction problems that prevented me from being able to finish my degree. If I did not see any specialists for my mental condition I would probably be beating myself up about not having enough willpower to move past living with my
abusive parents and working dead end jobs.
No. 2198345
>>2197957>I used to always try my hardest to mold my personality into what the popular/socially successful girls would want because from how i saw it, if i was to fit into their ingroupTHIS is masking. Masking is the specific behaviour when autists (mostly girls) try their best to seem normal, moulding themselves to a very specific image. They're often fairly successful in that people do think it's the real them, but sometimes fail like you anon.
Fakers online always think masking means "I smiled and pretended to be happy but I'm actually sad inside" like bitch no that's not the same at all.
No. 2199631
so im back on the horse of my adhd meds, i haven't taken my meds in two years because at the time my school/work/life balance was pretty okay but its ramped up so much these past couple of weeks that i needed to go back on my meds. Before i stopped i had been on my meds semi-consistently for 6 months.
i found my old bottle of Strattera (Atomoxetine) and i took my dose this morning and holy shit. the side effects on my physical health have been horrible, i had to lie in bed for 3 hours this morning because i felt super drowsy, my stomach was in knots, my guts basically destroyed themselves, and i was incredibly nauseous.
When i finally felt better to sit up again i checked my bottle and my meds expired like, November of last year. I'm still trying to get into my primary PCP, because they have written my prescription before, but holy shit, i forgot how bad the side effects were on sStrattera and why i stopped taking it lmao.
I hate the dilemma that i have to be in, like yeah, take your meds and your able to focus more properly, but you have these horrible physical reactions and you get super anxious.
do any other anons have any experience with Strattera/Qelbree/SNRI or any other similar adhd drugs or side effects?
No. 2200764
File: 1728530326693.jpg (44.74 KB, 680x554, 1640272586476.jpg)
>>2198345Too bad i absolutely suck at masking.
>>2198526I'm so jealous of the men in my family who have computer science autism, they literally don't have to wear a mask at all, they are free and happy. Nobody cares if they are a little odd or not interested in getting married because they make 100k a year and can do whatever they want.
No. 2200905
File: 1728544583703.jpg (114.51 KB, 1140x798, tang.jpg)
I have a weird obsession with being touched and held, I feel very starved of affection, and I think it's because I was extremely averse to physical contact as a child, which had negative affects long term (even if I didn't like it back then). I still have some hang ups around it though, there's no winning with autism.
No. 2202926
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How do I deal with an autist friend who is super clingy and above all insecure? I'm also an autist but I'm the kind that needs a lot of alone time and I don't like being texted all the time as I find it distracting. She's basically like picrel
No. 2202946
>>2202926Assuming she's actually autistic (not accusing your friend of fakery, but what I'm advising will make an insecure non-autist freak tf out almost guaranteed), just tell her outright that you need some alone time to recharge. "I need alone time right now. It has nothing to do with you, this counts for everyone. Can you text me again at [specific time you decide]?"
Telling her when to text you is important. If my friend says she needs alone time, I can't know when it's appropriate to bug her again, but if she tells me "I'm taking a vacay day, text me back after 8pm", I'll know that she still likes me and wants to hear from me, just later.
No. 2203126
>>2202932ayrt we're both in our mid 20s
>>2202942Thanks, I'll try that. She should already know it, but I'll remind her. My worry is that she'll take it the wrong way though and that it will make her say/think "so you ARE mad at me???" and make an even bigger deal out of it.
>>2202946>Assuming she's actually autistic She absolutely is, that I can guarantee! It's hard for me to know when to get texted though, especially because I can't predict how tiring the day will be beforehand. I'll try to figure something out though, thanks for the advice.
Would any of you nonas have advice on how to make her more confident? I'm unsure what I could do as a friend as clearly just being "supportive" isn't doing much. I'm actually worrying that being too supportive makes her less likely to try to get better because she likes the comfort of someone babying her and telling her it's ok.
No. 2204967
>>2198042ADHD late bloomer lesbian here.
I feel grief whenever my friends get married and/or have kids since it symbolises that the friendship will be over soon. Can’t say that out loud in real life since that makes me seem like a jealous loser.
Due to undiagnosed depression and ADHD in my teens and 20s I have missed the boat on the formative experiences that would have lead to healthy relationships so I live a lonely life as a mid 30s adult. Too scared to start dating now since I would probably get played or something.
No. 2205037
>>2204967I completely relate about the friends getting married stuff. Part of me sometimes worries the way I hurt when friends move on is actually a weird repressed romantic thing because nobody else seems to be as obsessed about it as I am, which is sad. I am happy for my friends, but I just want to hang out with them like a young adult forever.
All that aside I think if you want to try dating you should give it a go, anon. Don't take it seriously because the dating scene is hell but we're all going to be old and crippled one-day, so you may as well give it a shot for the plot.
No. 2205185
>>2204967Those "formative experiences" are mostly a sham nona. You can start dating at any age, if anything dating now makes it easier since people in their 20s just want to fuck around while in your 30s people get more serious about staying together and building a life.
There are people who miss out because of a billion different reasons, money, family matters, illness, mental illness, drug misuse… people have picked themselves up way later in life. 30s is still early.
Funnily enough I need a lot of alone time, so my friends getting into relationships makes me super happy because it means they won't "bother" me as much lmao
But I still get what you mean, I still grieve my friends not wanting to hang out the way we did when we were kids… I'd still like to have silly arts and crafts days, or a day watching cartoons, building lego, or just going outside making up fairy tales with each other. They're too adult for that now and it makes me sad I'll never have it back.
No. 2209071
>>2208269Are these psychiatrists? I've had that same experience with them
>>2208825Masking is a thing, especially for female autists
No. 2209272
>>2208825I don’t get this argument. There are so many conditions where the person in question can appear to function normally for short periods of time. Depressed people can smile. Functional alcoholics appear normal at work. You can still walk on a sprained ankle. It’s detrimental for people with these conditions to go without support for an extended period of time because the condition is still there, even if they manage to hide it. Being able to temporarily hide your problems doesn’t mean your problems magically disappear.
>>2209071Psychiatrists always clock me instantly for some reason. It’s mostly counsellors, psychologists and social workers who register me making eye contact with them once and decide that disqualifies me, or something. Then when the other autistic traits come out they get annoyed because they’ve already disqualified me in their mind so why am I acting like this?? It can’t be that their initial assessment was wrong, I must be doing this purely to spite them!
The thing is that I don’t even pass as 100% normal to other people. Most people can tell there’s something off about me. These particular people just seem eager to dismiss me from the get go. Which is odd to me because I’d think that when it’s your job to find work for people with an impairment, it’s a hell of a lot easier to do that with someone like me vs. Rain Man or whatever they’re expecting from someone with an ASD diagnosis. And I’m this one guy’s only client at the moment so it’s not like I’m taking resources from someone more deserving.
No. 2209585
>>2208825okay explain high-functioning alcoholism anon
but really, the people who absolutely cannot act "normal" around other people for whatever reason just have an exceptional amount of symptoms in regards to their mental problems. This is why people with mood disorders and enough documentation around lost jobs and inconsistent wages, as well as family history, can get disability payments for something like anxiety or depression. But even then, those people can act "normal" when they aren't put into situations that they cannot handle.
No. 2209626
I’m fine with being a ghost now. I get a lot of genuine joy out of watching other people live their lives, connecting with others and having fun. To be honest I’ve been pretty schizoid since childhood, always preferring to spend time alone even when I had friends and liked the people around me. I just don’t have the urge to establish deep connections with people, unless they’re very special (ie one in a million similar interests, uncannily like me, cool autistic people). I’ve accepted the fact I’ll be considered a boring loser by a majority of people because yknow what, we have different values, and that’s OK! I’m not a loser to myself, I feel like I’ve finally achieved a sense of zen. The only issue is that I feel I won’t be promoted in my job or valued because I don’t conform, but as long as I’m earning enough to satisfy my own needs and desires, it’s all good. Is this the ultimate form of narcissism? Maybe, but it suits me just fine.
No. 2212264
>>2212155Samefag but sorry for the poor writing. My sleep meds were going into effect and I haven’t learned to stop using LC whenever I take them
>>2212219Yes. They work better together than separately. If I’m only on one I am worse off than where I started. Before I was properly treated I would go off then back on them cyclically
No. 2212381
>>2209628>Nothing gets me closer to feeling genuinely misogynistic. I get why so many autistic girls troon out.I used to be a tomboy autist who thought that too! Girls around me cared about such stupid things like clothes and makeup. Like sure, you do you, but why the fuck do they have to judge me and everyone else based on it? Wear nike instead of adidas and they think you're a social loser who deserves to be bullied, like what the fuck it's just clothes. They're so superficial and only like boring things and stab each other in the back over stupid things. I'm nothing like them.
The boys seemed more fun, they liked the nerdy shit I liked too. And they don't care about the stupid clothes either! So I'll just go hang out with males instead and we're all good.
Then guess what, turns out the boys are equally retarded but in different ways. I wasn't like them at all, like I had thought when seeing them from afar. Girls were being gossipy and catty when "attacking" each other, but they boys would actually resort to heavy violence over the most stupid shit. And instead of bullying someone for wearing the wrong clothes they bully you over supporting the wrong sports team. Even though their own team sucks ass and never wins.
Turns out I was actually in a third unseen category; the autist category. I see why autist girls first troon out, thinking they must be like males. But when they (like me) hang out with real males they still feel alienated… and that's how they start thinking they're an enby.
No. 2212385
>>2209633It's potentially the same for petite women, and women with dwarfism then.
But men being attracted to what could be described as a mildly childish personality in a grown woman aren't pedos. The men who are into women acting like kids are in actual age-play communities and want them acting like literal toddlers. An adult woman being slightly stubborn and having a collection of MLP figurines just isn't the same.
A lot of autists shouldn't have children imo, especially if they have no interest in it themselves. But there are plenty that can and do have kids and it's all just fine.
No. 2212739
I ghosted the one autistic woman I knew years ago because she irritated me and I was, and am, incredibly avoidant. I always felt like she was trying to get into my head and compete with me, even though she was probably only expressing herself. I miss her but she’s moved to Chile and is about to marry her long term Nigel. She’s also best friends (almost soul mates) with my abysmal moid flatmate, who hates me and tells her stories about me. So even if I did manage to talk to her again doubtless she’d think I was some sort of sociopath who gets off on bullying her bestie. Reading back our conversations, I want to cry. She thinks like me, she’s funny, realistic, strong and the best kind of woman, truly rare. She’s gender critical, takes no shit and values women above all moids (even her own bf). How do I get her back??
No. 2214660
>>221463590% of autistic women are sexually abused, whereas in general population it's more like 20-30%. Even without formal diagnosis,
abusive men pick up on us being different and vulnerable which draws them in.
No. 2219009
>>2217889I was told my way of thinking is too black & white (not being able to understand nuance in interacting with others) and that my lack of social skills was making some other people in the group uncomfortable. I was just being myself, completing dropping the masking for once but I guess that was a big mistake.
>>2217901This is the impression I get about those people the more I think about it. The things they were criticizing me for are textbook autism traits and I don't understand how autistic people could judge someone so harshly for that/not be empathetic.
No. 2220412
File: 1729723451065.png (132.74 KB, 256x256, =d.png)
God damn lack of internal signals almost ended me, I just wanted to eat healthier and I'm 99% sure I gave myself a mild heat stroke that lasted 3 days because I upped my fruit and vegetable intake by 300% and stopped eating all processed foods and all the water content made me feel that I didn't feel the need to drink water by itself.
I was so tired and emotional and lazy for those days and I still didn't suspect anything until I broke into shivers and a cold sweat and stood next to the heater slowly drinking water by itself again.
Anyways, I found myself wanting a personal butler whose only purpose was to remind me about water so I doodled him picrel.
I also can't stop thinking about this one guy and being in a relationship with him
https://www.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/mre30c/my_black_aspie_experiencelong/his story proved to me that how coddled and manipulative autistic men can get are inextricably connected (with opposite being true of course)
No. 2220618
>>2220412kekkk this is such a cute drawing nona! I had the same issue with water until i lived with someone who was obsessed with drinking water all the time, eventually it stuck that i need at least one glass a day lol. Maybe get a bottle to carry around
I read that guy's post, i know exactly how it feels to be raised by parents like that and ostracized because being autistic makes you less [ethnicity]. I like that he has developed empathy for his parents' struggle to handle an ASD kid. This is the sort of emotional maturity and capacity for ambiguous conclusions that comes with true adulthood, i get why you like him.
>his story proved to me that how coddled and manipulative autistic men It's sad he went through this but you're right, being raised by strict parents is probably why he seems to be more self-aware than a lot of male autists. I hate that there's something about aspergers that activates some mothers' boymom/helicopter parent/
emotional incest behavior.
>>2217901This makes so much sense. I discussed this with an autistic friend just the other day, it's insane how the people i know who
love bringing attention to their fake autism are also the likeliest to point out your autistic traits in an irritated tone. I'm not talking about obvious cringe but things like repeating yourself about interests a lot, being direct, struggling with intimacy etc. Another possible explanation is they're anxious and self-conscious, so they compensate by picking apart whatever autistic trait they can 'catch'.
No. 2220743
File: 1729742276169.jpg (2.73 MB, 4000x3000, 1000000654.jpg)
>>2220618mwack mwack for the compliments for my doodle, my autism theory and taste in men
>>2220618>>2217901Hmm, to add more empirical data I went through the opposite, a little personal cow of mine
>–audhd fakeboi weeb identified as being a bdsm furry lesbian moved in with a man that looks 35 in no less than 2 months of talking and stopped talking to me when she realized I was better at Japanese than her–is so afraid of being invalidating she kind of slaps "your
valid" onto everything to deflect and avoid from going further into deeper discussions (I'm pretty sure this to mediate the fact that she's ignorant about [whatever-the-fuck] which is fine if she didn't want to posture like a pseudo-intellectual all the time.)
The only other friend that's autistic is survival-adapted coming from a white trash background she's never around because she's
too busy surviving and stuff but I love having conversations with her I love that she doesn't censor herself, which is why my friends keep both of them from meeting because fakeboi wouldn't know how to interact with someone who's lower class kek would probably break her mind into pieces.
No. 2221131
>>2220906That was my ex. His mother is a recovering alcoholic and he projected all of his mom issues onto me. We both have ADHD. He's my ex now but should have been a long time ago. I was mommying him at one point, it made him sexually unattractive, but of course he took that personally like I was being
abusive for telling him that being his mommy all the time isn't hot.
No. 2221185
File: 1729788326062.png (102.68 KB, 400x400, 1562643582277.png)
is it possible to be happy as autistic person? like to live a normal, healthy life, not in escapism but in reality
my whole life ive been very disconnected from the human experience, ive always felt like i cant understand people and they cant understand me. i was about 7 when i started showing signs of depression like crying all the time and low self esteem. i felt like this because of my neglectful mother and being bullied/outcasted at school
my escapism has always been pretty bad, my parents allowed me to spend hours on the family pc as a kid instead of socializing, ive always been more interested in video games, cartoons, drawing, etc than reality. im 22 and ive never had any romantic relationship, and ive only ever had maybe one or two good friends at a time. i guess im just wondering if theres a place for us in this world? i want to be happy. i dont want to hurt anymore. i feel suicidal on-and-off because i feel like i dont belong here and like i should just die and be at peace or get reincarnated on another planet where i can find happiness. sorry for rambling so much. i hope somebody can understand what im trying to say
No. 2221271
I'm exhausted, nonnies. Whether I mask or not, it makes no difference - I'm still considered weird by everyone, looked down on, patronised and thought of as a loser. Although I don't like status symbols and I'm quite schizoid, I'm beginning to feel hopeless about it all. In photos I look so pale and uncomfortable, like an ugly little girl with back problems. Even when I dress up cute and make an effort people avoid me and talk about me behind my back. I feel I can't do anything without annoying people or putting myself at risk, so every day around people stresses me to the point of illness. Because of my autism even the smallest things, like my need to keep to myself and the fact I'm quiet and helpful, are ruining my life.
If I talk back and act extroverted, I get made fun of. If I shrink away I get targeted by predators who want me to be their submissive gf, or people think I'm stuck up and hate me. I like myself too much to commit suicide and refuse to let it truly bother me, but I'm tired and angry and hate that I have to fight just to fucking EXIST in the same space as people who are actively malicious and cruel.
I kinda want to dress and act like a parody of a normie just to make myself laugh at how ridiculous these social norms are but I could never pull it off. It would be funny to see myself 'transform' into a hot(ter) girl just to point out to myself how fake this nonsense is, but it's too much effort. Being an allistic woman is hard enough, fuck doing all of that stuff when I'm like this. I don't know what to do or how to act, aside from counting the days until I'm old enough to completely stop giving a fuck.
No. 2221282
I watched this video and found it sweet these girls found a place they can be themselves. I wish I had an ADHD/autism bestie I could relate to.
>>2221271I do dress as a parody of a normie when I have to for job interviews. It works fine at first glance, I get smiles and treated nice until I open my mouth and then I get that dirty stare they just love to give. I think I'm just going to embrace making normies uncomfortable because there's no reason to behave like that when I'm really not even bothering them. I don't understand why quiet people make them so uncomfortable. They're the clowns playing along with useless social rules kek don't feel bad
No. 2221297
>>2221263i do have things i like doing, but theyre all mostly individual activities
>>2221282god this made me tear up. i wish my parents cared this much about me. i was cutting and crying everyday in high school and my parents didnt care at all
No. 2224047
>>2222034i do have some friends, but i feel like im bad at maintaining them because socializing feels so tiring and foreign to me. i feel kinda selfish the way i have people message me first 95% of the time, but its genuinely really difficult for me..
>>2222323im really glad that youre doing better than you used to be, i hope i can be the same too
No. 2224757
>>2224723> i would rather people think i am an idiot for no reason rather than be associated with fakers.Relatable, and also if someone isn't chronically online enough to think ADHD is often faked then they're instead probably an older person that thinks all ADHD people are difficult and bad news, so they will start perceiving you that way. I'm fucking stupid and brain dead, I don't know why anyone would want to roleplay this, I just can't understand it.
On the bright side if so many normal people start saying they have ADHD then in 50 years we can admit to it too, because popular opinion will be that it's meaningless kek
No. 2226246
>>2225582That's why when you meet people you introduce yourself as shy in a friendly manner.
"Hi, I'm Anon and I'm new here. Just letting you know now that I'm pretty shy and mostly keep to myself unless someone speaks to me first! I don't want you to think I'm ever like ignoring anyone on purpose or anything if I seem too quiet, I'm just shy."
You'll likely end up naturally sounding a bit autistic while doing this so they can put two and two together.
No. 2226318
File: 1730042820679.jpg (64.99 KB, 960x720, 1723829727784.jpg)
The doctor recommended i should be tested for adhd and it would explain a lot, but i feel ashamed because everyone and their dog has "adhd" so it feels stupid
No. 2226564
>>2226351Idk if the features you're decribing link up with the ones being recognised atm
A broader or wider face
A shorter middle region of the face
A shorter distance between the upper lip and the nose
Flattened cheekbones
A wider mouth and nose
But it's thought those features will play a role in helping with diagnosis not long from now. Kinda freaky to think about
>Research from 2022 reviewed several models aimed at detecting autism using facial features and found many models could detect autism with 86%–95% accuracy. The researchers suggest that computational tools with facial detection could aid physicians or mental health clinicians with diagnosis. No. 2226624
>>2226564Sounds like absolute bullshit to me. Anecdotally it doesn't describe any autist I know, and it even sounds like the polar opposite of the lowest functioning autists I know who happen to have narrow long faces. They all really just look like their families, and not even compared to them to they have these traits.
And just logically, why the fuck would a neurological brain disorder (which they keep broadening to the point they cannot even define it in a meaningful way anymore) somehow result in people having the same facial features? It's just not that kind of disorder.
The only way I could see it being true in any way is if it detects low functioning "autists" who actually have some other physically visible disorder that also looks like the popular image of low functioning autism because they're drooling retards. But it honestly just reads suspiciously more like white supremacists views on other races.
No. 2226845
File: 1730066520409.jpg (54.28 KB, 1080x742, 1000015252.jpg)
I need ADHD medication or else I'm not going to pass this retarded fucking course. Ritalin. Adderall. Anything. I don't have anyone to prescribe me pills and the doctors here are too stingy when it comes to stimulant medication anyways. I lack the mental discipline to ground myself. I'm too sensory-seeking to focus in a classroom doing repetitive filler assignments that don't have anything to do with the program's primary subject. I want to scream noners. I'm used to having structure in academic settings and it's practically non-existent here.
No. 2227578
File: 1730112689337.jpg (85.9 KB, 1080x837, 1643061738400.jpg)
I am going to get medicated for ADHD soon. What changes did you notice nonnies? I am excited but scared because i had terrible experience with medication before.
No. 2227815
File: 1730131904378.jpeg (47.91 KB, 605x454, 41A2CEFD-B4D3-483B-AD36-B39DD2…)
>>2227578Happy for you anon. It took me a bit to find the right medication, amphetamines like Vyvanse and Adderall didn’t help at all. I had migraines and severe fatigue when I took them, while my symptoms went untreated. Methylphenidate based meds like Ritalin and Concerta ended up being what was right for me.
I don’t really feel them “click” into place the way some people describe. I take them and in an hour I am no longer bed rotting but doing stuff like my laundry or replying to emails. My anxiety is markedly decreased and I begin to look forward to interacting with my hobbies. It doesn’t solve all of my problems but I am in a better position to at least work on those problems when I’m medicated. It’s a pretty subtle shift for me.
No. 2227934
>>2227724Yes but no. The way you phrase it like it's the most engaging thing that they're always drawn to - no. However as humans we're biologically wired to spot other humans. It's why if you draw two spots and a curved lined under you see a smiley (human) face. It's also why people prefer ads and thumbnails with human faces in them. But all of that works on a sub-conscious level, and on the flip side it can also mean you're less drawn to something, like if you see a painting of a face in a changing room you may feel uneasy like you're being watched. So human brains are wired to spot other humans, but it doesn't mean they're automatically engaging or important to us. They can also make you feel bad and make us want to leave, or wish that they would leave.
We know that autists have this too, because plenty of autists have an aversion to eye-contact. That aversion is the same as the appeal others feel to people, they stem from the same brain function. If you truly lacked this ability to be drawn to humans you would be fully neutral; you'd be able to walk around naked around people without a care because they'd be no different than walking past a rock.
No. 2227972
>>2227934Part of me feels weird because I can ignore people or not focus on them (ie do stupid things without caring) but then I’m also fixated on people to the extent that
I can even tell someone is staring from a foot away when my back is turned … is this an autism thing or am I just Insane
No. 2229198
>>2226564None of the above though I have gayface
ADHD-er btw
No. 2230094
>>2229981>I still fail these fucking multiple choice questions.Not to belittle your struggle nona but I would have killed to have multiple choice questions in a an exam! In my country if you're given choices it's a funny little pop quiz, a serious exam would never do that.
Maybe you could explain that you're really really bad under pressure and ask if you could prove your knowledge one on one with the teacher? They may give an exception for you like that if they know you have a diagnosis.
Other than that I only know very basic studying techniques:
>write everything by hand on paper (not by typing it out)>wait an hour or so, then write it all out again from memory without looking at any material. See where you forgot things and focus a bit extra on those segments. Wait for a bit again, then try writing it from memory again.>use different colored pens as your brain will remember it easier>say it all out loud, as if explaining it to someone>even better if you have a friend/family member to actually explain it to (doesn't matter if they know about the topic as long as they're willing to listen) see if they understand what you're saying or if they have questions about itAnd my personal ones:
>Draw what you are learning. Super simple sketches and lines (for example a person is at most a stick figure)I find this helps maintain my own focus, and it helps my memory connect better then there are images even if they're just a few badly lines.
>"A is like B" methodI don't know why this helps lol but I always try to rethink things by likening them to other things. If a historical person lost a war I'll think of it like "King Bob lost the war hated by his people… like how voldemort lost in Harry Potter and his people, the Malfoys, hated him too". That's a silly simple example but it forces me to really think what the core of the thing is.
>if you hate a boring subject, insult the subjectI would literally write "this stupid ass king Bob who was probably a dickhead fought a stupid fucking war in 1679 that I do not give a fuck about". It's suddenly a lot more engaging when you get to shit talk the thing you hate doing kek
No. 2230219
I'm free from work for this week because I had a leg surgery and, just as I expected, my self care, interests, passions, and productivity at home are not killed because of my autism/adhd and depression but because of my work. When I have to spend 8 hours per day at work I have no energy left for any cleaning, cooking, personal hygiene, laundry, not to mention hobbies, I just drop my body on the bed after work, with my clothes on, I'm so exhausted. I had piles of dirty dishes, dirty clothes, I neglected my food intake, hygiene, hobbies, supplementation etc. Meanwhile, I've been home for 4 days and I already washed all my dirty dishes, done some laundry, started cleaning my place, took the trash out, prepared meals for myself each day and ate regularly (healthy food at that), made a list of all the meds/supplements I have to take, I went back to drawing (my hobby), watched 2 movies, started reading that book I wanted to read for months, and read on various other topics like Hindenburg, Titanic and the history of horse racing, and I started to listen music again. I even took a walk to a local park, a stray cat approached me and let me pet it and it made me so happy. I wouldn't have done ANY of that if during those 4 days I had to spend 32 hours at work. Seriously, how do people manage to work part time and pay all their bills while living alone? I never worked part time, but working full time is slowly killing me, my mental and physical health. On top of that my workplace is extremely toxic and more and more people fire themselves because I can't stand it. But I've been there for 3 years and it's my first job and I'm terrified of any changes.
No. 2230685
>>2230219I feel for you, nonna. I left a
toxic workplace when I finally realized it, not my hormones or a mental illness, was making me feel like shit. In my final months there I barely had energy to eat, I lost so much weight and was angry at everyone around me. Thanks to savings I could afford to be unemployed for a few months and I experienced the same as you: went back to special interests, started writing again, looked after myself and was able to clean the house consistently. Even normies struggle with the demands of work and it sucks that so many companies are reluctant to let employees WFH. I had one day WFH recently and the amount I got done was insane! Do you think you could find a remote job or something less office based? Those can be a godsend for us.
No. 2232353
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>>2231535I fit the mold of an anti-social autistic person who has zero interest in people, seems narcissistic and sociopathic, the one that autistic people online are fighting so hard to prove doesn't exist and isn't true, but here i am!!
No. 2232766
>>2231535>I used to switch off cartoons so I could watch infomercials.KEKK based nona. This is cute. Did you like obscure local channels with ASMR-like vibes?
I don't know, i was more of a crybaby. I toe-walked, pretty late first words, my mom cried when i first started forming phrases. Food sensitive to the point where i had school staff always seated with me to make sure i ate at the cafeteria. I would often freak out but i
always won (didn't eat). At home, if i didn't like food, i'd chew it for way too long, spit it out and tuck it somewhere nearby. Really scared of basic things like going on a slide. I would sob after knocking down objects or hitting furniture because i 'hurt' them. My parents didn't know what to do until my uncle explained that objects don't have eyes so they can't technically cry, completely fixed the issue kek. I wandered a lot too, whenever i was outside with people and felt bad i'd go hide in a bush or something, then the adults would go searching for me, scared as hell because there were lakes nearby and i wouldn't answer their calls kekkk
I thankfully got a lot better around age 9-10.
>dinosaur collectingLucky
No. 2232952
>>2231535Pretty much. I flapped my arms whenever I got excited or upset until I was bullied out of it in elementary school, after that I would just pace or rock. I was obsessed with birds and would constantly read ornitology books. My favorite after school activity was reading through the list of deformity-causing conditions on wikipedia (the most interesting were the ones that make you slowly go blind, and the ones that come with retardation). When I was put in therapy I asked if I could just read the psychology books they had at the office, because I found the therapist annoying to talk to. I had frequent meltdowns at school. I didn't understand metaphors until I was 15 or so. I've since stopped with the most obvious behaviors and found work at the university, but people often tell me I come across as 'weird' as an adult.
To be honest, I kind of hate this new trend of "autism in women," because the lists of supposed features always seem so superficial and are never relatable to me.
No. 2233017
>>2232353same
nonny, glad to see another one
No. 2233184
Does anyone constantly question their ADHD diagnosis for obvious reasons? Some of the symptoms of ADHD seem almost counterproductive to the typical ways that they assign "treatment", like:
>BED/Bulimia the two major eating disorders associated with ADHD, earliest "symptom" I can remember
>"Adults with ADHD are almost three times more likely to have a substance abuse disorder than adults without ADHD"
>didn't start abusing drugs until 18
So now as an adult, diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, after diagnoses of bulimia, bed, gad, ocd, etc., who's to say that any of these diagnoses are accurate?
Does anyone feel like a huge fraud because they have obvious addiction issues and it ties directly into people with ADHD being lazy addicts? Even if I do things that would comparatively make me seem not lazy, I feel like my foot's on the gas but my E-brake is on.
No. 2233196
>>2233172Congratulations it's dyscalculia!
Everything is always comorbid.
It's similar for me, Google and a calculator can fix most of it, the worst part is just watching people's opinions of me drop when I have to count on my hands what number each month of the year is or whatever
Fwiw I am unfortunately the "lazy" inattentive adhd type, I do great in structured environments and then become a pile of shit when left to myself
No. 2233593
>>2233196Thanks nona. I knew it was probably a legit learning disability, but I didn't know the term for it. It sucks that you can't 'fix' it as an adult. I'm also the 'lazy'/disorganized type and need structure. Though, some of it might be related to how my OCD paralyzes me sometimes.
>>2233197Same! I played one of those quick quiz games for the WII with my sibling/cousins and there were a lot of math games. I almost started crying because I just couldn't do it and everyone was awkwardly judging me for it even when it was just adding. They judged me for not being able to remember how much tax is too (and I certainly can't multiply the cost of a good with that tax in my head), but I can't remember that.
>>2233577Driving lessons are how I learned that I genuinely don't know how to measure a metre or two metres. Like how am I supposed to imagine that? I can't. I feel like I'll only be able to drive if I constantly have a passenger who drives who can tell me directions or a really loud GPS. People always assume so much about why someone might not have a drivers licence. Sometimes it's a safety issue.
No. 2233811
>>2233787i do sometimes, but i find myself to be even more useless UNLESS im having a really good day and i am disciplined enough. i used to be able to skip them with a bit of caffeine and NAC, but now that im on a mood stabilizer i think it knocks the dopamine down a bit, too. there is also probably a placebo element too and if i can plan my day out well enough i might be able to skip a day once a week or something.
my hormones affect me a lot and ive been intaking a lot of caffeine lately so maybe i should stop that again and see.
i dont think ill be able to cut out stimulants entirely for a very long time, and thats also why i stick to a very low dose. it makes me sad but my life isnt structured enough right now and i dont have the euphoria of my mental illness prior to the mood medicine. also would binge eat for dopamine if i did. were you able to cut them out?
sorry for the blog post thank you again
nonnie No. 2234542
>>2233980That's just being a kid. My female friend (normie, so non-disordered person) at age 10-11 essentially wanted us all (girl friend group) to masturbate in bed together. None of us knew that was what it was or that it was sexual in nature. It was basically just humping a pillow kek
I've also had several female friends who wanted to kiss me/each other as "practice" and I was the one who thought that was creepy and weird, yet they all saw it as normal and me as weird for refusing it.
I also got told a story by a therapist about a guy who used to suck his friends dick and he'd suck his back, at age 5-6 or so. They just wanted to see if it was like sucking their thumbs and they couldn't reach their own dicks. Neither turned out gay later in life, so it really was childhood innocence.
No. 2234562
>>2234327I feel like there are different "types" of autism. Doesn't matter if they're male or female, some people with autism are just exactly like me, they function like me and we struggle in the same areas. We still sometimes react differently due to sex differences, like the males get more aggressive when agitated… because they're male. That's no difference than other groups of people.
It's good that they're spotting that the signs can present differently in girls, but it's not helpful when the expectation then becomes "girls handle it better than the fragile boys who need more help" because the girls get neglected and the boys babied and spoiled. It harms both in the long run.
No. 2234587
What's the key "trait" to being successful/happy as an autist (adhd also welcome to answer) in your opinion?
In my opinion, it's simply overcoming shyness/introversion. No matter how weird you are you can get friends who think you're the crazy fun life of the party, or the quirky artistic creative one. Consistently in the autist friends I've seen who struggle the most is that what is really holding them back is being shy. They're miserable, they lost contact with childhood friends and don't know how to make new ones. They don't speak in group settings, they don't take classes or activities and on the rare occasion that they they a new thing they still refuse to speak to anyone and want the other people to do the work and the talking. They never get anywhere.
With all the various weirdos I've met in life I see the same thing, they can be weird as all hell but if they're open and friendly everyone likes them anyway. If they're silently staring into the floor or a wall everyone avoids them. I was once in a group and a guy (giving obvious big autist/ mentally disabled vibes) who was doing just that, staring angrily with a twisted face into a wall. I found him scary and wanted to avoid him. But then suddenly out of the blue he started talking to me, as I was the closest person by chance, he talked about the paintings on the wall and he got really into the art of it. Turns out he was super friendly and very knowledgeable about art. So I went from thinking he was scary into thinking he was one of the most interesting people there to talk to. So the next time I saw him stare creepily into a wall I wasn't scared, I knew he was actually nice at that point. I saw other people talk to him too so I know they reached the same conclusion. He could so easily have been seen as a freak, avoided by everyone, but because he wasn't shy and didn't stay quiet he made friends. Meeting him made me try harder at overcoming my own shyness and it's made my life a lot better.
No. 2234633
>>2234587>they can be weird as all hell but if they're open and friendly everyone likes them anyway.This has been true in my experience. People are willing to overlook some serious retardation as long as it's accompanied by a happy disposition and an upbeat attitude. Being aware of and "owning" how weird you are is also important. Like if I'm jazzing my hands everywhere and someone's like "Uh, why are you doing that?" I have two response options:
>Smile at them and reply in a chipper tone "It's a good day! My hands are extra happy!" Then continue flapping like a queen, or>Look uncomfortable, put my hands down, say "Sorry." Then be an embarrassed lady with sad hands until they leave.Both responses acknowledge that I know what I'm doing, but people tend to react better to the former than the latter. The people who double down on being negative when faced with the positive response are usually bullies who somehow made it to adulthood without molting their mean girl/bully boy feathers.
No. 2234742
>>2234587For me, it's finding people I get on with and share a philosophy with; positive people encourage those around them to be positive, and they tend to be more open-minded. I spent too much time in younger years trying to befriend people I'd never see eye to eye with, ad it only made me feel worse.
Definitely agree with your point about overcoming shyness. Sadly I've spent so much time in my bubble, cutting myself off from bullies, that I no longer feel like I can share stuff with people. I know I'm an upbeat and happy person deep down but every time I try to show that kinder side I get picked on or manipulated. I'm often so burnt out and anxious that I simply can't relax around people. It sucks because some of my colleagues are super nice, but I don't know how to show them I'm open to being friends!!
No. 2235225
>>2233980KEKKKKKKKK
>>2234327100%. It's like they can't differentiate between how it's perceived and what it actually is. Of course if you think that mutism is 'shyness', low social awareness is 'rudeness' and other traits are 'quirky', you'll think that female autism is some kind of completely different condition. But it's not, and i'm not against the idea that autism presents differently in girls, but the whole 'so us women have a special,
girl autism' thing always pissed me off. It's a big reason for why autism fakers are so common these days, too. If you keep insisting that it's some kind of girl syndrome, women who do not have autism will flock to it to explain unrelated phenomena.
>>2234587>In my opinion, it's simply overcoming shyness/introversion. True, i think it slightly depends on where you live. I read that in the US, shyness is really frowned upon, other cultures might be more forgiving. My family is from a very social and open culture so i feel for american autists kek
No. 2235792
>>2235724>allisticWell step one is stop using this term kek.
I think it's fine if you openly admit that you aren't diagnosed though you suspect you're on the spectrum, and that even if you were to get tested and they straight up say you aren't autistic at all you still do relate to those struggles. That's the mindset you should have to begin with.
As an undiagnosed person you should absolutely be open to the fact that you're possibly not autistic at all (and realize it would be a good thing if you're not). Right now you've found a group whose inclusion of you seemingly depends on you having a diagnosis too - so now you "need" to be convinced you 100% are autistic too so you can be in with the group. That's a dangerous position to be in. Ask these people if they'd still be your friend or if they'd like/trust you less if you weren't on the spectrum. If they wouldn't want you then, then they're not good friends anyway.
No. 2235954
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How do you intentionally flirt when you have aspergers? many aspie women say that they are flirty on accident but I have the opposite problem. Once every blue moon a guy approaches me at a party with the intention of flirting at least I think they are flirting? a non-aspie friend once told me i was being flirted with but they always stop because i come off as uninterested or rude. My goal isnt to hookup with anyone I just think light flirting seems fun and i want to try it
No. 2236209
>>2235954There are TWO types of flirting: flirting with intent, and flirting for fun. Flirting with intent is just what it sounds like - an individual flirting for the expressed sake of sexual or romantic purposes. I.e., when you really want to go out on a date with someone you can flirt with them to signal that to them. Flirting for fun, or "playful flirting," is basically a form of light teasing or banter. I.e, sometimes it's just fun to flirt and be flirted with, even if both parties don't want anything to come from flirting. Playful flirting can actually be a great way to boost self-esteem and confidence. This dichotomy is sometimes blurred, to the detriment of both parties (e.g., a lot of workplace harassment starts with playful flirting, but then one party takes the play a bit too seriously).
The reason you see a lot of aspie women saying that they're flirty on accident is because a lot of flirting involves mirroring - something that aspies do almost unconsciously to mask themselves. For example, prolonged eye-contact can be interpreted as flirtatious - but for someone with aspergers, eye-contact is difficult and that might result in either prolonged eye-contact or no eye-contact at all. Part of this diagnosis is a certain ignorance to many social cues, and sometimes this manifests itself in giving off certain cues to others without realizing it (like when flirting for example).
My three suggestions to you, and to others that struggle with flirting, is:
>Number 1,Watch a lot of highly-rated romcoms or romantic movies in general and really focus on how the romantic interests interact with one another. You may quickly notice the different cues both actors give off to one another that makes their mutual attraction obvious to the viewer. On the flip side of this, purposefully find romantic movies where reviewers complained about a lackluster romantic tension between the leads. Watch these movies and try to note down exactly WHY the romantic tension doesn't pay off - this manifests itself primarily in the two lead actors unintentionally missing the others' non-verbal cues, which makes the romance more difficult to believe for the audience.
>Number 2,This is more so for your protection, but I suggest browsing moid "dating tip" websites or listening to pick-up artists. The reason for this is a lot of these retarded moids that believe in this stuff WILL use outside resources like those websites or infamous dating coaches. If you are aware of the same "tips" and "tricks" that are out there, you can be sure to avoid these types of men that use them and you can more easily identify the various strategies that moids like this use. Now, you never actually want to USE any of these strategies, you just want to be AWARE of them so that you can avoid talking to these creeps and avoid being swindled by them. Be aware that any resource you look for should be written BEFORE 2022.
>Number 3, Look into dating guides for people with autism or aspergers. There are a lot of really great self-help resources out there for people like us to develop our knowledge on romance and our ability to engage with romance or sexuality. So much of flirting depends on non-verbal signals and cues that may be difficult for people with aspergers to parse or identify, but in studying them it becomes much easier to recognize them and to use them yourself. Be aware that any resource you look for should be written BEFORE 2022.
I think in doing these two things, aspies can better understand how flirting looks, or at least how normies perceive flirting. When I was in my late teens, flirting was very difficult for me because I never understood when to use it or how to use it, but now that I'm in my late 20s, I actually really enjoy flirting because I find it fun now that I'm more experienced and I know more about it.
No. 2236400
>>2235991>When I actually am interested in someone I overthink everything, clam up and come across as uninterested. Fun times.Same…
>>2235954If you can't find it in yourself to seem 'kind' and interested, you can rely on aggressive humor. I'm like
>>2235991 but playfully mocking people i like, being a little offensive (pay close attention to whether they get offended or playfully insult you back) has always worked. With women it's trickier but usually men immediately get it. Or go the direct way, it takes guts but the more you give compliments the better you get at it. Being extremely earnest and just stating what you like about someone is a good way to disarm the other. Men are so easy to flirt with, even if you're lacking in skill they will respond unless they're absolutely not into you.
No. 2236811
>>2236747I fixate on people but it's more of an indifferent curiosity than an emotional investment. I have personal lolcows that I observe from afar and people I just find interesting for whatever reason.
>I feel like I'm incredibly immature for feeling bad about not being their number one it makes me feel ill and some days I can't do anything.It sounds like you don't have many close relationships.
No. 2236828
>>2236747A related concept is limerence. Getting fixated on specific people can definitely happen heavily with autism and with ADHD (although of course like with most stuff it’s just an extension of the human condition, people get enamored with other people and feel heavily invested in if their feelings are returned).
To be honest I think the long term fixation aspect of autism is part of what has made my marriage so successful, I became completely enamored with him very early on back when we were in high school and it just stayed that way forever, and I think he is also probably on the spectrum so he has had an easy time being mutually fixated on me for all this time.
I also think it’s probably why I have a routine of reading about certain cows during my free time throughout the day. I just decided they interested me one day and then it never stopped.
No. 2237096
>>2235954>many aspie women say that they are flirty on accident but I have the opposite problem. I'm a strong believer that this isn't possible. Because flirting is always intentional as such, there is no "accidental" flirting. Another person misinterpreting your intentions is on them, it doesn't mean you were flirting. In the same way you can't accidentally do something on purpose, because if you do it on purpose it wasn't an accident.
Men can be dense as fuck. But at the same time A LOT of them will think EVERYTHING a female does is flirting with him. They can be the ugliest motherfucker on earth and yet somehow think a 10/10 hottie was flirting with him because she looked roughly in his direction for half a second too long. A cashier will politely smile at him, like she does with every customer, but now he's convinced she wants to fuck him because "she smiled at me, that's totally flirting". If the cashier was hot he's flattered, if she's ugly he's grossed out that a whore dared flirt with him as if she had a chance. But the cashier wasn't "accidentally flirting", she was literally just doing her job.
I find a lot of the time it's "jealous" friends who insist either I, or the guy I was talking to, was totally flirting. Neither of us actually flirted, and neither of us thought the other was flirting. It's just the outside friend wanting to start some shit because they wish they got attention instead of you/him, or they're a huge gossiper. They're also typically the kind to think "men and women can't be just friends". So your friends insisting someone was flirting with you really don't know what the fuck they're talking about.
No. 2237111
>>2236747Honestly no, but curiously I feel like I'm often the one people end up fixating on. Girls I knew who I honestly didn't have much interest in would fight each other about who was my best friend. It was very uncomfortable. One would copy my interests and pretend my hobbies were her hobbies even though she didn't even like those things. My personal favorite things that she literally learned about seconds ago (from me mentioning it) were now
her favorite things - that I wasn't allowed to have. She didn't even seem to like me that much, it was more she just wanted to take everything from me. I don't know why she chose me, there wasn't anything special about me (apart from the undiagnosed autism kek) I guess she just chose the easiest
victim or something. It went on for many years and I still have trouble sharing things I like with others because of her.
The worst ones were males who were actually stalking me, some thankfully just online but one was irl and showed up at my house several times. Thank goodness I had male family members home to chase him off. I really wonder why it's always me.
No. 2237222
>>2198042Yeah. I still don’t understand sex or alcohol.
When people are nice to me at my desk job it comes across as my coworkers trying to be my mom or dad so I am aware that I give off womanchild energy.
No. 2237382
>>2237279You put an expierence I couldn't into words. I know I'm supposed to be the one to apologize for any social misunderstandings but I don't give a fuck at this point, I can't stand sensitive, bad faith people. If you aren't smart enough to pick up on disability you probably aren't worth talking to anyways.
>guilt over pro-social behavior It depends, in most scenarios I just want the interaction to be over as soon as possible so I don't really care if I go against my personal convictions or "integrity" as you put it, but I expierenced this in the past. It's congruent with PDA profiles.
No. 2237415
>>2237279I know the feeling, but at the same time I developed a sense of superiority at a young age. It was a monumental thing for me when I understood that the other kids were too stupid too understand that what I was saying were literal facts about reality. I kid you not the ability to be able to go "OH this person is simply an idiot" has actually saved me a lot of pain. I never looked down on the other person for being stupid though, in my child mind they'd learn it eventually when they grew up.
But I do struggle with lying sometimes, especially with current troon stuff. It bothers me that I have to pretend to think it's ok that mentally ill people get cut up to "fix them". That I have to pretend rapists are women and that I think they're harmless… I have to lie by omission to not lose my social groups but my eye is twitching from how badly I wanna correct them.
No. 2237638
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>>2237605Picrel is how a lot of people feel when they first get medicated I think
No. 2237785
>>2237638kek i literally got addicted to street amphetamine because of adhd med shortages. i was prescribed ritalin/concerta, ran out in a pinch, and my adhd diagnosed friend was like “this is chemically similar and totally works for me!” i remember snorting a line of speed to “catch up on work”, calmly doing some fucking slideshow and falling asleep 2 hours later, and i thought this was proof that i physically couldn’t get addicted to stimulants and my brain chemistry was immune to that because i felt relaxed and slept.
i was coping the whole time i fucked up my life, literally being a tweaker and wasting all this money and going on benders for days to “get more work done” — with the logic i needed medication to feel normal. i am audhd and have always felt miserable and retarded so feeling GOOD for once made me feel like this was what i was always missing, and neurotypicals totally feel like they are high all the time! adhd communities are so fucking resistant to the idea that they are physically dependent on medications but it’s not fucking normal at all to literally be unable to get out of bed without taking a stim, or to lose the ability to do boring tasks sober that you used to be able to do, then decided to make everything “more fun.” the honeymoon phase won’t last and you’ll just be dependent on this thing to not feel exhausted and dead. god forbid there’s a shortage of meds in your area , or the meds just aren’t hitting when you get used to them.
at some point you build tolerance to your dose and you don’t feel anything and you need something stronger to make boringness fun again, and you’re like “muh adhd brain biochemistry protects me from whatever substitute i end up finding, or upping my dose, buying someone else’s script…” but i was absolutely fucking chemically addicted. i killed it at work and school but my whole world became very small btw it’s anecdotally not correct that meme from adhd people online that medication is preventing them from being harder drug addicts. i know five diagnosed adhd people in real life who ended up addicted to either their prescriptions or harder shit and for all of them, the gateway to this was medication and belief it was some new secret to life 1000% foolproof. i drank a lot before getting medicated so maybe i had an addictive personality but i was literally told its not something i have to worry about, take my ritalin as needed until it works for me to do tasks.
i’m trying to stay off stimulants now even though naturally i am a dumb autistic sperg, and i can perform more highly on some things, socialize more effortlessly, remember shit better on amphetamines. but that shit caused me a lot of personal problems, fucked up my sleep and health and life, and really made me feel like i was doing the “normal healthy” thing. “i’m not taking drugs to get high, i need them to function.” i wasn’t functioning- i was an amphetamine addict whose entire life would be put on hold when my prescription or my stash ran out, when i wouldn’t have the energy to talk to anyone or even get out of my bed, when i would just desperately think frantically about how soon i could acquire the meds i “needed.”
i’m not anti medication or saying everyone will abuse their meds but i hate the retarded ass adhd circles cope that tells people who get new prescriptions and feel great cause they’re fucking high for the first time that this is normal, that you need to be chemically chasing that high forever. i still take low doses of stims sometimes when i neee to focus for a couple hours and i don’t feel euphoric or peaceful- i don’t feel anything like a rush, and this is how it should feel. i make myself go to bed on time so ill make myself come down and avoid redosing . is best to keep meds as a performance enhancing tool, not a crutch for your brain to depend on external chemicals.
sorry for long sperg anons - stay healthy, if you’re on adhd meds take supplements, make sure you sleep every night and eat well, and take a fucking break a couple times a week.
No. 2237876
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>>2237789It’s okay anon I forgive you. You’re right that just because people with adhd respond differently to stims doesn’t mean we’re immune to addiction. If that was true then we wouldn’t have triple the risk of substance abuse compared to the general population.
I’m medicated but I never experienced the click or high others described. It just means I’m more likely to reply to emails in a timely manner. It does help my anxiety but that’s because it helps my auditory processing problems since I can pay attention to conversations instead of having to guess what people are saying.
No. 2237954
>>2237470I definitely smoke weed to focus sometimes, only it's not a very accurate or consistent type of focus. I'll find myself getting a little too focused on stupid shit sometimes.
>>2237563Good on you for not slipping back into addiction even after starting and then stopping meds. That's incredible. I feel like I am chained to caffeine, but I'm sure if I had enough time to "detox" I'd be better off.
>>2237595Yep, exactly that. Weed does something interesting to me, but sometimes it's like a crapshoot and I'll smoke weed that makes me feel extremely paranoid. If I smoke mids I'm fine but my poor lungs need a break. Edibles rock.
>>2237653I appreciate seeing my opinions mirrored back to me lol I feel that. I almost feel delusional when I think "I'm pretty productive now that I'm goofy off the sauce", and maybe that is still the case. I mean, last night I took kratom and decorated my room before I got too tired. I don't know if it's the drug itself or the thought of taking a drug and getting intoxicated that motivates me. And I also feel like I am retarded and lazy most of the time and was diagnosed in adulthood so maybe you are?
>>2237785Damn anon I'm sorry you went through all of that shit. I empathize with this post the most. I frequently abuse my medication and then just take supplements until I refill it. I've actually switched meds several times because of this because I don't want to be an addict abusing medication. It still persists. The only prescription that I didn't abuse was Wellbutrin, but it made me so angry at random times and I felt even more impulsive than normal on it. So I went back to Vyvanse. I read that it's "less likely to be abused" in comparison to Adderall but whoever came that decision hasn't met me apparently
But that's good advice. And it's true - although I've cut back on how much I abuse and how often, there is a point where gritting your teeth and wiping your sweaty palms on your shirt for 8 hours is not actually fun anymore. Not sleeping, not eating, you look like shit, and everybody wonders what your problem is. Apparently, constantly losing sleep and going without it over and over again is correlated with dementia. Yippee, I'm so happy I did that during college.
>>2237876I unfortunately never experienced the high with prescription medications, but the first stimulant I ever took that was some kind of meth-something was Benzedrex. Do not do Benzedrex unless you hate yourself. I still shudder thinking of the lavender burps. My mouth waters in anticipation of vomiting just thinking about it.
No. 2237970
>>2237954Thanks, I'm
>>2237563 and it was quite tough… The reason I went off the ADHD meds too (mine were stimulants) was because I do feel like over time those of us prone to addiction become increasingly reliant/addicted to them as well. It's not easy to beat this disease we're unfortunate inclined towards, and I really sympathize with any nonna stuck in a hard place because of it. You can do it.
No. 2240230
>>2239035I somehow manage to get both. When I don’t tell people about my diagnosis they can still tell there’s something off about me and treat me like either a threat or a womanchild but if I do tell them, suddenly it’s
>Ooh I couldn’t tell, you don’t seem autistic at allwith a side of
>Are you sure? My neighbour’s sister’s cleaning lady’s nephew is actually autistic and you’re nothing like him!where it inevitably turns out the nephew is very low functioning and nonverbal. Yeah no shit I’m not like that, I have Asperger’s. It’s not my fault it’s all been lumped together.
The only people who’ve responded with “yeah I could tell” after I told them my diagnosis were other autistic women and a few psychiatrists.
No. 2241396
>>2238188I'm sure your life really has been hard, but trust me, you will NEVER get better unless you stop seeing yourself as a
victim. And you also seem convinced that you're "unique" and have a "deep sensitivity is uncommon in humans" - I'm sorry to break it to you but that's the same narcissism you pointed out in your parent. You DO deserve better, but if you keep going down the path of seeing yourself as uniquely special and a perpetual
victim you will turn out exactly like your parent. If you break free from those 2 things your life can be truly great.
No. 2244517
>>2242389>has anyone ever dealt with being yelled at by people who confuse your flat affect and indifference for rudeness?Despite being the aspie, I've had the opposite happen. I enthusiastically answered with "Mhm!/Aha!" noises and the other person then made an angry face saying "why are you just going UUUHhhh" and makes a loud whiny noise to mimic me. It wasn't even close to what I said so I felt so shocked and angered that they'd accuse me of doing that. I know I didn't sound flat, I now I said it normally… but I think them knowing I'm an aspie they just wanted to assume and point out that I'm an idiot in any way they could.
>I am thinking about explaining myself to the professorYou should do that. You can frame it as earnestly asking if opening more petri dishes was wrong of you, and explain that the other girls gave you a hard time for it. Be open for him to reply "yes, you should have waited for them to be done and not opened another one" and be ready to go on a little "sorry it's the autism, I didn't know…" talk if he does. Hopefully he is on your side though.
No. 2249203
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god I LOVE just sitting and reading or absorbing media about something that is interesting to me. There's literally nothing better than that, ok maybe walking around the room and making up fake scenarios while listening to music may rival this pleasure. And maybe physical contact with cats, sometimes. But nothing else, no contact with another human being or activity will ever be as pleasurable as this (my current obsessions are Shergar, Lawrence of Arabia, Titanic, Hindenburg, The early bird theory, Galaxy express 999 and Menendez brothers [yeah the last one is influenced by social media, but I'm interested in it because I have strong justice sensitivity]). This is one of the rare things that make me feel truly happy. I'm gonna make notes on my copy of Seven pillars of wisdom and cry about a horse for the next few months. I consider myself very lucky to have that one person who actually wants to listen to my ramblings irl!
No. 2249271
File: 1731017873501.png (121.12 KB, 298x297, shergar.png)
>>2249223Shergar was an irish racing horse, one of the best actually, he won Epsom Derby in 1981 and was described as "horse of the year". In 1983 he was kidnapped from his home by a bunch of masked people (speculated to be IRA members) and the kidnappers asked for 2 million pounds. But the owned didn't pay… There were some negotiations here and there, the kidnappers also sent a strange photo of Shergar's face (picrel), but many people assume he was already dead at the time of taking the photo (or it was taken shortly before he was killed because he looked very distressed in it). IRA informer claimed the horse has been killed.
TW for that part because it's terrible, and I prefer to just copy paste it from wikipedia
In 2008 a special investigation by The Sunday Telegraph obtained information from another IRA member who said that O'Callaghan had not been told the full story "because the gang was so embarrassed by what happened": a vet that the IRA had arranged to look after Shergar did not turn up because his wife threatened to leave him if he did.[52] Once the IRA realised that the Aga Khan was not going to pay, the Army Council ordered the horse to be released. The extensive search by the Gardaí hampered any release, and Mallon thought he was under close surveillance, and that releasing the horse was too risky, so, four days after the kidnapping, he ordered that it should be killed. The IRA source told the newspaper that two men went into the stable where Shergar was being held; one carried a machine gun: Shergar was machine gunned to death. There was blood everywhere and the horse even slipped on his own blood. There was lots of cussin' and swearin' because the horse wouldn't die. It was a very bloody deathI wanted to die when I read it for the first time, it hurts so bad. I hate males so much. We still don't know what they did with the body after they murdered him.
No. 2250263
>>2249548I'm seconding this, and also want to reinstate it's not against the other anon. But then again "autism" at this point is a label used for multiple intellectual and/or developmental disabilities anyway so the name has little value other than to grant you legal access to whatever support you may need that is offered. In a sense being an autist now literally means having a diagnosis of autism regardless of how your brain works.
I used to hate things like horoscopes because they're stupid an unscientific. But oh how foolish I was - normies NEED things like horoscopes to label themselves with, and if they aren't offered a nonsensical version like horoscopes they will simply grab at oppression or mental disorders to fit the void. "I'm such a libra rising, born in the year of the rabbit" is a lot more tolerable than "I have auDHD, now reform the entire medical system for me please". I feel like I understand why religion was created now lmao it really is to control stupid people who have nothing else.
No. 2250273
>>2249548Ayrt and yes you're so right, I was just being silly and trying to make a joke about my lack of focus
I also hate how these very complicated conditions are boiled down to clichés, even if I enjoy doing it like a hypocrite
>>2249633I don't think I can afford an assessment but I'm sure I'll just start fixating on something new soon anyway so it doesn't matter kek
No. 2251238
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>>2250462A few years ago I saw a semi-famous american jewish man online say that he hates german shepherds because he associates them with ww2 and that he thinks most jewish men feel the same. It's one of my favorite dog breeds so it made me sad to read it
No. 2252279
>>2252068I think my mother was bpd, she was
abusive too. But then again, everyone in my family is so fucking weird, either cold and distant or narcissistic, and my grandma (my mom's mom) was also very emotionally "weird" and distant and for example she would always rock back and forth when sitting (that's not an age thing because she did it even when she was young) and totally "shut off" when her favourite tv show was on tv, and totally flip out if you had a different opinion on something than her. Hmmmm
No. 2252419
>>2252068I'm interested to hear more about the kind of raised-by-a-borderline-parent autism you're talking about. Do you mean that cluster B parents cause autism? Or just that the two disorders interact in a strange way? I think personality disorders and autism are like oil and water. My mom was a bippie and I feel like my (diagnosed) autism somehow deflected some of her behaviors. Like a lot of her manipulation just kind of flew over my head because I was too busy weaving baskets and retreating into myself. My autism was the source of a lot of her chimpouts but I didn't even realize it at the time. I don't want to get into details but my mother has done a lot of batshit insane things that would land her in prison and my therapist once asked me "How are you so normal?" and my genuine answer was that me being in my own little autism world saved me from fully internalizing her psycho worldview and behavior patterns. I'm still traumatized and retarded but at least I don't act like a BPD mess myself and I'm not tangled in her web of insanity and manipulation like most
victims of cluster B parents tend to be kek.
No. 2252451
>>2252068not quite (mother is cluster b but i can't say bippie for sure), had insane fleas but i genuinely don't think it made my autism special in any way.
i believe autism helped me to not get attached to her though, somewhat like
>>2252419 - i was easily able to completely cut her off and "wash off" the fleas.
No. 2260187
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Does anyone else regret trying to understand neurotypicals, or more accurately understand how they see autistics?
I accidentally created this hell for myself where I am acutely aware that I am not aware. I used to feel bad about it, because yeah, I technically am the problem - but the constant resentment from everyone who can't tell I'm retarded and don't mean harm has made me bitter. How could it not? I'm a human being with a limit. It's very hard to remain cordial when every interaction you have with someone is going to be misinterpreted, whether your passiveness is mistaken for being stuck up or your flat tone is seen as emotionally disengaged. As nasty as it sounds, I'm starting to really become apathetic and callous.
No. 2260206
>>2252068Yes. I'm still trying to make sense of what it did. As a kid i was terrified of setting her rage off when i already had trouble perceiving people's intentions. BPD people are nightmarish if you already feel like humans' presence demands a lot from you. It made me bitter and defensively offensive and i'm trying to get past that.
>>2252455I feel like autistic self-centeredness is not entirely narcisisstic. It comes from an inability to face others and connect without strategies, falling back on self-centering is one of those, next to things like using impersonal language or social scripts. Narcissism actually designates people who hate themselves and compensate with public displays of love, the meaning has been watered down to nothingness but this is what it is
No. 2260404
>>2260206>I feel like autistic self-centeredness is not entirely narcisisstic.Imo they're different things. There are SO many ways in which a person can focus on themselves.
Narcisissm involves arrogance, self-love, an obsession with being admired and a contempt for others. It's (imho) something that involves a certain level of social awareness and the person putting themselves in the center/top while looking down on others.
You can also be self-obsessed due to poor confidence. You're obsessed with what other might think of you, perhaps even to the point you have a body dysmorphic disorder. That's the opposite of self-love.
Similarly you can just be depressed, and that makes you "selfish" and makes it difficult to empathize with others. This is really just a natural survival instinct, if you think you're "dying" your body needs you to focus on yourself to survive.
Then there is autism(/possibly other disorders) self-centeredness. This comes from an inability to read others, AND often a difficulty to read yourself and your own needs too.
So a narcissist may see a person struggle and go "I see they're suffering but I don't care, they're beneath me anyway lol".
The autist would see a person and go "I wonder why that person is making a strange face, oh well I'm sure they're fine so I can go back to my own interests", and just not read the situation properly. If they were instead told "hey I'm suffering right now" the autist may go "Oh no! I had no idea!" and be compassionate from there. And then from there the autist might think "well MY special interest is the thing that makes me happy, so if I give this suffering person this thing too they'll be happy too" even though in reality that's not even close to what the person needs. It IS a self-centered thought, but at the core there really was compassion and an attempt to help.
No. 2260405
>>2260211>neurotypicals like me better as a happy free genuine sped than as a miserable overstimulated fake "normie".>all the popular sperges I know are obvious that they're a little bit weird without blaming their autism or apologizing for harmless behaviors.Amen, just be a weirdo! It's fine!
On some level just submit to being the token weird girl of the group, you're the quirky one, that's your role now. So anytime you do something odd that was meant to happen anyway and isn't anything to stress over!
No. 2260698
I am thinking of going to the doctors for autism diagnosis, I may be a high masking autist woman which can go undetected when you’re a child. What do you think nonnies? Here’s some traits my husband pointed out:
>loner weirdo loser girl all throughout school, preferred playing by herself during play time and recess and kids were only friends with me out of pity
>gets obsessed easily (fandoms, video games, characters — I remember I would prefer to play the sims 2 instead of hanging out with the neighbourhood kids and they stopped asking to play with me eventually because they were upset about getting rejected and I wasn’t saddened by it at all). I played so much sims 2 I know everything about the game and consumed all the lore, corruption, glitches, character backstories etc. I was also obsessed with Princess Zelda and wanted to BE her, specifically the zelda from twilight princess. Creepy, but I’d watch her idle animations in smash bro’s and try to copy them when waiting in line or some thing lel, even her walk/run (yikes)
>awkward, no social awareness, oftentimes says the wrong thing at the wrong time
>copycat others in social situations and adopt their idioms and sayings to try and blend in (I’ve successfully managed to perfect the greeting small talk conversation after observing/learning from others)
>in the beginning of the small talk exchange, I’d actually literally tell people if I was having a shit day lol instead of “I’m fine how r u” and stuff like that
>takes things too literally and often doesn’t detect sarcasm
>stimming: I used to rub my fingers through my hair and soothe my scalp as a teen (I don’t do this anymore), cross my legs and kick the one on top repeatedly, my husband says my constant need for foot rubs/massages is rather stim-like (of course i’d never rub my feet in public kek). When I had really hard time in crowded rooms, I’d rock back and forth a bit to calm my nerves
>I always complain about how bright it is, I have a very good sense of smell and can smell things others can’t (I.e., when walking down an apartment hall I can detect what people are cooking/baking and scented candles), I get dizzy in perfume and bath body works stores, I got headaches constantly from the fluorescent light in my office in combination with the blue light from my computer screen, I get nervous and jumpy at loud noises and agitated in very crowded spaces with lots of chatter
>autistic women have more socially accepted obsessions and one that I’ve always had was “true love” and “finding the one” and having a happily ever after relationship. Also if you’re into kpop and are stan, that’s another example of having a socially acceptable autistic obsession
>over analyze and look into social situations and people’s motives too much when there’s simply nothing there 90% of the time (can’t read social cues but in an effort to do so, I’ve read TOO much into them)
>probably a shitpost but I remember someone once said autists like to have 3 beverages in the morning like a coffee, water, juice and I do that a lot too, and normies prefer having one-two drinks in the morning (water and a hot beverage)
Idk if I’m just neurotic and socially awkward or if I’m genuinely autistic, but my husband (who knows me best) thinks I might be a high functioning autist who went undetected. I didn’t believe his theory until he told me the socially acceptable autistic obsessions women have (horses being another btw but I’m not into horses) and how im complaining about how bright everything is, getting headaches, and being able to smell things he can’t.
No. 2260736
>>2260698This isn't towards you specifically
nonnie, but as someone who also is more than likely autistic the reason I'll never get tested is because what is that going to change? I'm independent, live on my own, can drive, can take care of myself, hold down a job. What will change about your life if you find out you're "diagnosed autistic"? Ok it'll explain your lifelong behaviors but genuinely who cares if you're high functioning? Save your money and time and call yourself autistic without the diagnosis if you want! Just don't be a sperg about it on social media for asspats and you're fine
No. 2260786
>>2260698Going to point out what is NOT a sign of autism, as I find that can be more helpful when you're "diagnosis-shopping" (not an insult). Especially because social media these days is like "do you wear socks??? Autism confirmed!!!"
>gets obsessed easily (fandoms, video games, charactersThat's an ADHD trait more than autism. Autism tends to be long time special interests, while ADHD is shorter periods of intense interest than they then move on from.
>awkward, no social awareness, oftentimes says the wrong thing at the wrong timeLike what? This is such a general statement that could mean anything. How do you know it's awkward or that you lack social awareness? You need a lot of awareness to figure that out in the first place! Autists I know don't really feel awkward, it's other people around them who do because the autist is socially unaware of the awkwardness their actions are causing.
>copycat others in social situations and adopt their idioms and sayings to try and blend in But you did manage to blend in and say you even "perfected" small talk, which is how regular non-disordered people learn it too! Many autists even itt are expressing they still to this day as adults don't know how to small talk or blend in at all despite trying their entire lives.
>I’d actually literally tell people if I was having a shit day lol instead of “I’m fine how r u” and stuff like that Culturally this is normal in my country lol I don't understand what is supposedly so weird about it
>I used to rub my fingers through my hair and soothe my scalp as a teen (I don’t do this anymore), cross my legs and kick the one on top repeatedlyThose are extremely normal actions nona. Like I desperately need you to understand now not-disordered this actually is. The fact that you even list them as potential autistic stimming is worrying.
>autistic women have more socially accepted obsessionsThis is generally just a stereotype, especially when you take function levels into account. You're equally likely to find a high functioning male autist with the special interest ACDC or some football team, as you are to finding a female low function autist whose special interest is something odd like computer keyboards or kitchen towels.
>one that I’ve always had was “true love” and “finding the one” and having a happily ever after relationship.Nona please. This is THE most normal thing to ever exist. I'm genuinely so sorry social media made you think this is weird in any way.
>over analyze and look into social situations and people’s motives too much when there’s simply nothing there 90% of the time Sounds like anxiety. The fact that you're able to analyze so much means you have a good social understanding!
>probably a shitpost100% a shitpost. The fact that you're even posting it makes me feel you are looking for any and all reasons to confirm your current idea that you truly must be autistic. Ask yourself honestly: do you WANT to be autistic, nona? What exactly do you think you'd get from getting a diagnosis on paper?
>and being able to smell things he can’t.A male has worse perception than you and immediately decides you must have a disorder huh.
No. 2261763
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>>2261149>I wish autistic female groups online would stop caping for moidsI wish all groups would do that, it's not an autist specific problem. I get so hopeful when I join a community and the rules only say something general like "no bigotry" or "no hate" rather than listing "transphobia".
>>2261580>When you consider the fact a lot of internet culture, which is now mainstream, has been pioneered by autists do you feel pride or shame? Indifferent even? They're just people, so I guess I mostly feel indifferent! But I think that's also true for a lot of areas in society, humanity is often only pushed forward by having one single genius person make some huge discovery. Those people were likely often aspies as well.
Going on a tangent here, and I know some people will call it a cope, because
most autists are over-sensitive dumb-dumbs who can't hold a normal job - but that again opens up the autism VS asperger (or "high-functioning" if you prefer that term) debate. I really think there is a difference between the two conditions, perhaps they even really do stem from the exact same medical issue but they're still SO different. I once heard it explained as sunlight and that really resonated with me: You have a cloud free sky with a bright sun shining - that's a normie. Then you have the (low functioning) autist as an overcast day with nothing but clouds in sight, no sunlight making it though. But in the same way if you have a sunny day and a blinding sun, just a cluster of autism-clouds (making them aspie/high functioning) blocking the sun you get the perfect amount of shade. It's now actually easier to go about because you're not drenched in sweat from the heat nor blinded by the sunlight like the normies are. Yet the clouds at the core are the same. Tangent over kek
No. 2261864
>>2260698>high masking autist woman which can go undetectedMasking women still display autistic traits in infancy. Anyone who claims to have been completely undetectable as a kid is either lying or misunderstands masking. Ask your mother/relatives about how you came across as a child. If you displayed autistic traits there's a good chance she'll say you were a little 'odd', even if she didn't recognize this as autism. Serious autism assessments interview your family/friends/etc so, you can think of it as a pre-diagnosis to make sure it's worthwhile
Edit: i read your post to the end and your husband is trolling
or you're extremely neurotic and want an excuse for your perceived shortcomings (not a jab, i understand why women might want a diagnosis to escape internal scrutiny). I'm afraid your husband doesn't understand autism and said this to explain away your anxiety, even if he's well-meaning, telling an obviously anxious person that they may have a developmental issue is wrong and weird.
>>2260404Exactly.
No. 2262069
>>2261864>telling an obviously anxious person that they may have a developmental issue is wrong and weird.This is true on so many levels. I think it's a social contagion too, so it's not necessarily ill intent from the person, but rather it's that they've seen and been hanging out with so many people who (wrongly) use it as an excuse when in reality they're self-diagnosed fakers 9 out of 10 times. So a neutral person may see anxious quirky girls time and time again blame it on their "autism" until you think that's the truth. Then they make friends with an anxious person and think it must be autism.
A tip and exercise for
>>2260698 is to read up on symptoms for multiple common (on the internet) disorders. Depression, BPD, anxiety, ADHD/ADD, OCD, maybe even DID since that's popular now. Then do exactly what you did with autism here: list every reason you think you may have it. Ignore anything you think points against it, pretend you have to convince someone you have this disorder even if you think you don't - but you can only use truths. See how well you can twist every point into fitting you somehow.
Like for example, for OCD you may remember that you've always felt a strong disgust towards germs, while your normie boyfriend will go "3-second rule!" and gobble up scraps of food directly from the floor to your horror. For ADHD you may remember as a child you always got lost daydreaming way more than other kids, and you still somehow misplace your phone on the regular.
You should be able to check of nearly every point (with some missing due to your own personality traits) without too much effort, and as you go along it becomes easier and easier.
This exercise lets you see just how easy it is even for you to convince yourself that you have almost any disorder based on common symptoms, some might even fit better than autism! And then realize that most people you see online did exactly this. Reflect over what the difference is between these disorders and symptoms you think you don't have, and the autism you think you could have. Were you being truly honest, or did you think a few mishaps was enough to warrant saying "well I do ABC, and that is a symptom".
No. 2264636
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How do you unstuck yourself? I get stuck while working when I'm not sure of what to do and I keep thinking and thinking for minutes or hours that I waste trying to figure out what to do or with a blank mind staring at some random point and it's really fucking up with this particularly stressful job, I would be so fucked if I was a medic kek.
But seriously I don't know what to do anymore, I've wasted lots of time, I hate asking for help because I'm too retardeas well, I want to die.
No. 2264933
>>2262734>asked questions I shouldn't have been asking (still don't know what that means).About every parent says this about their own child, they either see it as annoying to be asked "weird" questions and (wrongfully) see the kid as dumb for asking anything at all, or they think their child is a genius with knowledge far above other kids because
they have the smartest kid who thinks about all these deep things. Kids asking "weird" questions is the most normal part of development to ever exist.
No. 2264990
I'm 30 and my psychologist thinks I'm autistic and that I also have some ADHD traits and that I should try to get an official diagnosis. I'm too afraid to do it because I'm afraid that I will hear again "we don't know what is wrong with you, there is definitely something, but it's hard to tell what exactly". I've been in an out of the "system" between 12 and 20 years old, and I've heard many "diagnoses", they were moving me from one specialist to another and no one could tell what it was, I was on various meds, SSRIs and antipsychotics, and nothing helped. I was told it's just general anxiety and depression, then a woman who met me for the first time said I had reactive attachment disorder, then another man who also saw me only once said that it's not reactive attachment disorder but schizotypal perosnality disorder, then another psychiatrist who was seeing me from time to time said I was too young to say for sure what "it" was and they had to wait till I was 18, then at 18 I had this super long quiz-like test that was very stressful for me because it's hard for me to give definitive answers and it's usually "it depends" and I need more specifics in order to be able to answer a question, and many of those questions in that tests were too broad for me. And after that test the psychiatrist said she's still unable to say what it is, and that my answers were too contradictory and that I probably "didn't want to cooperate" (despite the fact I was desperate for them to finally tell me what is wrong with me and to help me). After that I was done with the system. My social life is still non existent and I struggle with basic things, like doing formalities and not getting fired. I still feel the need to know what is wrong with me, but after so many years of disappointments I'm too scared to try to get diagnosed again. I don't know what to do
No. 2265377
>>2264636when i feel myself getting sluggish i try to record what i'm doing or have accomplished, and then see what i'm doing right now and inefficiently. if i'm physically tired i will try to stand up. if i'm having trouble, i try to write down what i'm having issues with and what my questions are. then estimate 1) if i can answer on my own, 2) how long does it take to answer myself if yes 3) is it worth asking someone else or not important enough? is your work environment not welcoming or do you not have someone to ask questions?
if this is a regular issue, keeping track of what you do and how long at work maybe be beneficial. like log the main tasks you do every half hour or hour on a spreadsheet.
No. 2265498
>>2264990Get the autism test
nonnie. In the worst case scenario, it will tell you nothing. In the best case, it can finally be an answer. You have nothing to lose.
No. 2265586
>>2265498>In the worst case scenario, it will tell you nothing. Serious question, has anyone ever met or heard anyone FAIL a test for autism/ADHD?
I'm always baffled when yet another fully functioning human I've known for years "comes out" with their recent adult diagnosis. They always say something like "this explains so much" and I'm left sitting there thinking "nah bitch it really doesn't" because they have had their entire life under full control this whole time, and go on living in the exact same way afterwards too. It's so clear they got it from social media telling them feeling socially awkward once in a while means it's autism, or not having 100% focus at all times means ADHD.
Yet there seems to be this idea that a normal person would always fail the tests, how do we know that is true? It almost feels like they have an incentive to diagnose as many people as possible, or at the very least that they assume if you've made it to the point of taking the test that you simply must be whatever the test is for. Oh how I wish I could send in all my normie friends and family undercover to get tested to see what the results are.
No. 2265609
>>2265586In my experience, the autism fakers I meet don’t get actually tested and are lying about their discovery. They got “diagnosed” with it by talking to the drove of other braindead imitators who treat this as the new astrology.
Some of the actual autists I know are reasonably functional and put together and are just completely fucked under the surface and not really keeping it together. I actually feel like it’s the masses of quirky fuckups with complexes about what unique, different underdog underachievers with a million excuses they are, AKA people with BPD and other flavors of oblivious where they cobble together a new identity every month based on what will give them dopamine/attention/whatever. And most of those people avoid testing like the plague with a bunch of excuses for why they don’t fit the “outdated!” criteria because they suspect they’ll be told they’re allistic.
The numbers of these people lately have actually been driving me fucking insane. Autism medical jargon is a huge trend on social media and it’s bled into the vocabulary of everyone who uses Instagram reels too much. “Like, oh my god, yeah, I like totally have the tism and I stim by dancing and singing in my apartment! I like, literally found out that it’s a tism thing if you listen to the same song a bunch, which I TOTALLY do! I’m so peer reviewed, I’m super in my autism acceptance era, did you know if you were a loud kid that’s probably autism?”
No. 2265728
>>2265175I'm sorry
nonnie, this is nightmarish.
No. 2265952
>>2265591it should work for both, i do it at work now with my new job where time management is key because everyone works independently and getting help will distract other people/cut into their time. i used to track my free time too when i was more mentally ill and using the internet to dissociate. the more lost and sluggish i feel the more tracking i benefit from. breaking up large tasks into small steps makes it clearly what you need to do and can help motivate me to work more focused. simply knowing where you are and what you're doing can be half the battle sometimes in building selff-awareness.
>I waste all day not knowing what to do… I used to tell myself I'm just tired but I know that's not true. I'm not relaxing either, I'm stressed out because I don't know what to do!it sounds like the first step you need to do is get in tune with your behavior, first track what and how long you spend on things, and next how they make you feel. scientists make hypotheses, observations through gathering data, and then act upon them. when i dissociated a lot using the internet i knew it made me feel worse like tired and irritable. you could color code by how activities make you feel for example.
>And if you don't mind could you make up an example of how you would write it all?i like making a table/excel spreadsheet, if paper works for you feel free to do it on paper and keep it in a visible place.
in my most mentally ill, had a spreadsheet with 48 rows for each half hour of the day, and would merge/write/color code in them what i did (like sleeping, work, seeing friends, etc.) top row of spreadsheet would be date. if going by hour is easier i'd do that. if you have gaps in the beginning because you forget or don't log it's okay, you're learning a new habit and for me it was a visual indicator i was extremely unwell and dissociating because i could not keep up with this habit.
now for work, i keep a spreadsheet log of my projects with 3 columns: date/time period worked that day on it; what i accomplished, questions, or issues; and what i need to do.
looking back i wouldn't say this isn't perfect and may encourage tracking too much information about what you do for the sake of collecting data, but as you refine your goals you can decide what you want to focus on. but when i was using the internet to dissociate, keeping track of how i spent my time itself was important for me to feel grounded.
No. 2265957
>>2265945Not hopeless about it anymore, but I used to be. As fucked up as it is, the whole prejudging thing brings freedom: They're gonna know I'm disabled no matter how well I mask, so I might as well just not bother and have a good time with it. Doing this filters out a lot of the fake-friends/immature non-communicators too, because the same people willing to browbeat a sperg trying her best are usually repelled by a sperg unashamedly living her best life. It's not the autism those kinds of people smell, it's the lack of self esteem that gets beaten into most of us before we reach adulthood.
>Most therapists will just tell you "oh it's irrational to think everyone hates you" is it though?It's not irrational to think it (because studies have shown this to be partly true when it comes to social perception of autistics), but it is harmful to act like it and let it get to you. Having a prolonged
victim mentality isn't healthy, it drains you and doesn't make people treat you any better.
>Like how many of us in here worry everyday that you're gonna find out someone you know hates you because they couldn't be mature enough to discuss a communication blunder you made that you had no idea about?If someone reads too much into a neutral statement, so what? That's on them for being too emotional, not on you for just remarking that the grass is a different length than the last time you saw it. Those are not the kind of people you want for friends anyway. When people decide to sit on a misunderstanding and let it fester, they're demonstrating to you that they are not mature enough to be in an adult friendship. It sucks ass when it happens, but it's a blessing in disguise that tells you not to waste any more time on that person. Worrying about it beforehand is not going to give you some divine knowledge on which people are currently being immature and uncommunicative, it's just going to make you feel worse.
No. 2266016
File: 1731954780017.jpg (45.23 KB, 735x765, cc172ed63c797c4e12841ee777c9f3…)
I wish I was free from cringe. I could never make friends as a kid and I tried everything. In kindergarden I tried singing to others because that was what cartoon characters were doing, they literally communicated through singing, I was also using entire dialogue sequences from cartoons. Later I tried to bring other topics I found in books or on the internet, but kids just weren't interested in that, they had this natural ability to just "play" with each other, without much talking, that I didn't have. I studied human behavior in movies. Then, in highschool, when I was 16 and went to a new class in new school, I committed other cringe acts, for example when we had some interesting topic in history class and one girl had different opinion than mine, instead of talking to her about it, I went to a library and I printed an entire article about it; it was like six A4 pages, with sources and all, and I brought it to her the next day and told her to read it because I thought it was interesting and it might have changed her opinion, but she just looked at me like I was retarded and didn't say anything and didn't take the article. I still wonder, was my behavior really that weird? Because I would be happy if someone printed an interesting article for me. Or any time I said something I thought was normal and others were just staring at me or laughing but never responding, often I still don't know why. I can't think of a SINGLE successfull human interaction with my peers during school, so from 6 to 19 years old in my country. This is soul killing
No. 2266075
>>2266016Awwww,
nonnie, this is exactly how I used to behave until 7th grade so I feel you a lot. By then at my new school I got bullied so severely (literally getting beat up unprovoked) that my spirit was practically broken and I was forced to learn "normal" behavior which carried me for the rest of my life, up until the pandemic when working from home caused me to lose all human contact to mirror. I never recovered and went back into my autistic ways. My best advice is just to try your best to surround yourself with people who are equally spergy because masking fucking sucks in the long run and requires so much energy to keep up.
No. 2266129
>>2265963>nta but isn't that just because some people are higher functioning and some are lower?ayrt, I AM an high functioning autist who grew up with other high functioning autists (both in my family, and due to being grouped with them in school and medical settings). I also know a few people with ADHD. I know what high function is like, they're just not even close to it. I'm not talking about people on social media who may hide that their apartment is a shit hole because they can't even keep a basic level cleanliness, I'm talking about people I've known in person for years. I've seen how they live, I've followed their activities for years, I know they have a stable job or study on a normal level, they're in normal relationships etc. Then out of the blue they come out with having autism or ADHD (the latter being more common). It just doesn't add up.
I even know a few people who I very strongly suspect would get a diagnosis if they got evaluated, because I can see how they behave and struggle and that it is consistent with the (real) diagnosed people I know. Yet somehow it's never them who claim to have it.
No. 2266131
>>2266109Hmm sounds like a good idea anon, thanks
>>2265366Same here, also problems with batting a ball or kicking it, that's why I was totally useless in group games like voleyball, soccer or basketball, my movements were delayed, and my balance was also really poor. But the worst thing is I'm still unable to ride bike, it's like I can't coordinate my legs to do this circular movement and also focus on directions at the same time? It's really hard to explain when other adults ask me why I still can't ride a bike. For that reason I will never drive a car either
No. 2266150
>>2266075NTA but I feel you
nonnie, I'm on the exact same trajectory. I wish I got back the 'mask' they're all raving about shedding. It's been a fucking nightmare.
No. 2267151
>>2266796You don't need to "mask" per se, but you can still learn how to tackle questions you get asked.
Like if you get asked a retarded question like "why is this boring ass job your passion?" and you both know that lame shit isn't anyones fucking passion and that this is a new field for you, you learn that the answer to give is something like "I'm excited to try new things" why smiling and looking friendly so you pass their vibe check.
Write down every retarded question you've ever gotten in interviews and see if you can find sweet cookie cutter answers to all of them to prepare in the future!
No. 2274662
>>>/ot/2274628>moreso worried because damn it's been so long, I thought I would've grown out of these issues by now but they didn't go away.I know exactly how you feel. I was always told not to worry because I would grow out of all my problems someday KEK. I felt a major sense of loss when I realized that would never happen.
>When I go out, everything seems so bright and loud, it literally hurtsI know it's a social faux pas or whatever to do this. But for a while, whenever I went grocery shopping I would wear sunglasses inside the store. The store lights felt 7x brighter than outside even in the middle of the day. What are they gonna do, ask you to leave the store?
For the loud part… I have the problem where everything blurs together, so I don't have a
tested solution for you. But I did buy these like $12 earbuds off Amazon (Tozo brand), and whenever I have them in, they really muffle the sound around me. I would try wearing one in while out and about to see if that helps. That way you can still be aware of what's around you. You will have to watch your speaking volume though kek
>already have f.luxYou, me, and
>>>/ot/2274574 should all hold hands. I even rec f.lux to normies. It's crazy how much blue light makes a difference. I turned the eye comfort shield off on my phone by accident and it felt like pins going into my eyes even though my phone brightness was all the way down. You should definitely try replacing the light bulbs in your home with some that are on the warmer end of the light spectrum. My bedroom unfortunately doubles as a work space, so instead I have a little LED string on the wall above my bed. I turn it on when the main bedroom light is off, and it's bright enough to see my room but warm enough to not be bothersome.
>weighted blanket seems like a rare itemI don't know what country you're in, but Amazon has them! A relative sent me one and it worked like a charm. They're about 35$ for a basic one and go up from there. Don't forget to buy a cover for it, though. People say you can wash weighted blankets, but I wouldn't!
You might want to pay attention to your other senses as well. I find that when I've been wearing something unpleasant all day, taking a shower and then putting my face in my favorite soft blankets help. Something you're smelling could also be making you feel sick and you don't realize it, so be sure to air out your room. Find a small spray or lip balm or lotion you like, anything with a scent that isn't overwhelming and harsh, and you can apply it to your face/hands, or use it nearby. Candles can be hit or miss, but I found success with some brands. And don't be afraid to take a nap when you're really upset. 95% of the time a nap will fix me, and the other 5% of the time I just need more naps. Remember you can get overstimulated in your sleep, so try not to sleep with the lights on!
>psychiatrist for young adultsBelieve it or not, this is not so bad. I really wish I hadn't been so anti-medication when I was young, but I also realize I wasn't in control of my life then. Remember that as an adult you have the last word when it comes to your treatment.
For me, an antidepressant and an anti-anxiety have done wonders. When I'm on this specific antidepressant, I find that it's harder for people to get me riled up even when they're complete dicks. I also find it much easier to calm down from a rage and I'm able to think through things that I would get too frustrated with otherwise. The anti-anxiety med helped with my retard anxiety KEK
I could talk for ages about this but I will leave you with this: if you try a medication and it isn't working, you should always try another. Everyone has different biochemistry and switching can make a world of difference.
I know this was long but let me know if you have any questions; I can definitely try answering them!
No. 2278732
>>2278724You sound exactly like me. Didn’t think I was autistic or had adhd my entire life. I have a diagnosis for adhd that I doubted until recently (because I learned more about it and realized I’m the inattentive type, not hyperactive) and my psychiatrist snapped on me when I suggested autism and said there’s no way I have it (but I think he’s just uneducated)
ADHD meds did nothing for me, but lamotrigine helped a lot. I recommend trying omega 3 to see if that helps at all. I’m starting it tomorrow because I’ve heard great things.
No. 2284986
>>2284978yes, positive attention makes me uncomfortable as hell for a variety of reasons and negative attention obviously sucks. i can't stand it
>it just puts expectations on me either way and I have no energy to deal with it at alli agree completely
No. 2284991
File: 1733038385025.jpg (195.08 KB, 850x1202, photo_2024-11-18_10-31-49.jpg)
>>2284978Agree, (most, if not all) people will always expect something of you and if you don't fullfill their expectations they become unhappy with you in various ways from mild annoyance to chimpouts. The worst part is that in casual situations you can't know
what exactly they expect of you since a lot of it never gets spoken aloud or written or otherwise communicated.
No. 2284998
>>2284978Yeah kek my interests are all solo activities so I just always wanted to get left alone so I could do them in peace. It's a selfishness for sure but I can't help my autism making me that way.
And in addition to that I always had a terrible self-image. I don't like being forced to think about myself, even if they say I look nice or did a good job to me it's a reminder that I think I look ugly and that my actions are never good enough. So every comment becomes a burden! And again, taking every comment so "seriously" is a sign of my own selfishness but I can't help my gut reaction. I should work on it but I'm not there yet.
No. 2285022
Potentially controversial opinion or at least not talked about: I'm convinced all the kids and young adults nowadays who larp as or self dx as having NPD/ASPD are autistic, if we ignore the ones who do it purely because edgy disorder I'm a bad person teehee funny aesthetic. Sometimes BPD. It's easy to feel "narcissistic" or "antisocial" because you can't fit in, can't pick up cues, need to mask and then have a weak sense of inner identity imo. I thought I was NPD once, a very cringey moment in my life, but I hate attention
>>2284978 kek. I know a bunch of autists who all felt like narcs because they couldn't fit in, the difference is that real narcs wouldn't know or spiral in fear about being a narc.
No. 2285218
File: 1733064381751.jpg (30.42 KB, 351x510, 349d40a545e824b65134ce0cc99259…)
>>2282872can't relate, im retarded but i am happy and free kek
No. 2285225
>>2285022>I'm convinced all the kids and young adults nowadays who larp as or self dx as having NPD/ASPD are autisticNah, I don't buy that at all. I'm sure there IS some overlap in all the different self diagnosers - like the ones who thinks they have autism really just have anxiety, the person who thinks they're really a wolf trapped in a humans body is an autist, someone swears they have ADHD but is really just a burned out CSA surviver living with trauma… but at the core most of these people are still just normies without disorders trying to make sense of themselves in a stressful world, going online and reinventing themselves as a form of escapism and creativity exercise.
"Medical student syndrome" is proof that even smart people who are able to study one of the hardest fields, who KNOW they cannot possibly have the super rare condition they're reading about, STILL end up convincing themselves they have it. That's just how people are sometimes! And there's a reason 90% of the self-diagnosers are under the age of 25.
No. 2288443
File: 1733254329775.jpg (71.6 KB, 1080x385, 1000016903.jpg)
Are you ready for autist brain death
No. 2291373
>>2288578>motivation only lasts so long when you realize you have to basically mask for the rest of your adult working life in order to be able to live a sound life and not get fired. I'm
>>2288541 and I don't mask. I frankly still don't fully understand what masking means, I just act like myself. If people don't like me I don't care, because I don't like most people kek. But lucky for me I somehow come across as a bit aloof so people see me as innocent and sweet. I'm actually a super opinionated person but I don't care about sharing it, so I don't. I think it helps that I'm alt fashion, people don't expect me to be normal just based on how I dress so nobody is shocked when I act a bit 'tarded.
>if you aren’t doing something that is like creative fucks a lot of us up. Do something creative then, problem solved. If you truly think that would fulfill you more then you have to work towards that goal instead of letting you be what you describe as a "cog in the machine". You can choose to change or to stay there, that's on you.
>Also a lot of us didn’t know we were autistic until our late 20s early 30sAnd some are in their 50 or 60s, they'd look at you with envy that you found out so young with your whole life ahead of you. It's never too late.
>If you always had the resources and diagnosis since you were a kid and into adulthood sure you’ll be fine.I didn't have that. I was diagnosed in my early 20s, my parents still don't accept it and treat it as me saying "I act this way because I'm a libra rising". I used to be absolutely fucking miserable and convinced I could never amount to anything in life, so don't think I can't relate. I swear attitude and daring to try is half the battle. So many other people are dealing with other issues like addiction running generations in the family, child abuse and neglect and all sorts of trauma. Having autism really ain't that bad, I feel so lucky it wasn't something worse!
No. 2292462
I’m diagnosed autistic and undiagnosed agoraphobic. I wouldn’t know because I’m too scared to take myself to a doctor or mental health professional. This literally has to be the worst combination of bullshit. I cannot seem to reach out to anyone and I’m genuinely terrified to leave the house on my own. I am scared of death or embarrassment to the point it causes really bad panic attacks. I’ve lived in the same small town since I was 8 years old and I still get anxious going to the store. I can’t leave my small town in my car by myself without having a bad panic attack. Having my boyfriend helps me be able to leave because I’m convinced he will protect me and get me back home. Anyone else, even my Mother, makes me panic. I want to go take college classes but I’m too fucking scared, like genuinely scared. I want to get my health checked out from a doctor, but again I’m genuinely scared of a major health issue or embarrassment. I want to speak to a therapist, but my brain convinces me they will make fun of me. I hate being stuck in my house, I hate being to scared of driving (even though I am not bad at it), I hate not being able to make friends, I hate that I don’t even really want friends. I’m like a human fucking bubble trapped in my own skin of anxiety, and poor ability to connect with others. I feel like I have a lot to offer the world, if only I could get the fuck out there.
No. 2292478
>>2292462This is anecdotal, but I've noticed in myself that it's harder to go out and about in small towns than it is in big cities. In small towns, I feel like since everyone knows each other, and everyone gossips, I can't really be "myself" because I'm living with others in mind. In big cities, I feel like I just blend in with the masses, and since there's so many people it's harder for them to single me out. I feel much more free in big cities than in my home village. Agoraphobia sucks, but you have to remember that your brain is only a part of you, not "you," if that makes sense. You're the one in control, not your fear or your thoughts or your anxieties. It will be hard but I think that you can succeed in doing what you want to do.
No. 2292536
File: 1733507938051.png (415.25 KB, 1200x630, cy9STlqoH.png)
yeah i saw some tiktok self-dx autism quirky girl talking about how she can't be productive working 8 hours. literally no human being is productive for that long.
No. 2292728
>>2292462Start small, go out on a short walk every day. Maybe just up and down the street on the first day, and maybe around the whole neighborhood a week or two in. Get a calendar (or just quickly draw one) and put an X for every day you manage to go on a walk. Smile and say hi to your neighbors if you happen to meet them.
If you struggle doing it "without a purpose", you make a purpose up and have that as your daily mission. It can be a lot easier when you have something like that to focus on.
Write a list on the notes of your phone for example.
Example of "missions": How many houses are yellow, next day red, and after that blue and so on. Do the same with cars, one color per day. Count how many animals and what species you see. Flowers in gardens, toys left out, count odd vehicles, trampolines etc just find something that can answer the question "how many people on my street/neighborhood have X".
Make a small goal, like if you do it a full week consistently you get your favorite snack or some special treat. After that you get one maybe after 2 weeks or a whole month.
You also of course need to get over your fear of embarrassment. This is going to sound a bit silly but I think it's a good first step, I suggest going here on lolcow and posting embarrassing things in threads. Write something unpopular in the unpopular opinions thread, confess something embarrassing in the confession thread. Also scan the threads to see if there's anything you disagree with and reply to them that they're wrong - hopefully they'll come back and defend themselves and say that you're the one who is wrong. Basically you want to get to the point that you feel a bit embarrassed and attacked for having the "wrong" opinions so you can micro-dose on dealing with those feelings in a safe and anonymous setting. I can only speak for myself, but when I was new to posting on LC I would sometimes feel physically ill when someone started an infight about something I said (I've always been super anxious and non-confrontational in person), it made me so uncomfortable and a bit embarrassed to have people say I was wrong and retarded and so on. But over time I really started to "harden up" and learned that it's no big deal. I'm now much better at handling in person critique even in my personal life. And somehow "hardening" makes me feel softer instead, it's like a weight is lifted off your shoulders when you can just shrug and not care anymore.
Nobody is going to fix you for you, you need to actively work for it! You can take it slow, just keep working on it little by little. Good luck nona.
No. 2292750
>>2292511>At this point autism doesn't even mean anything as a diagnosis. >>2292538>It does mean something to people who truly have it.Nta to either of you, but this is such an important discussion to me. Because I agree that the diagnosis has/is losing its meaning due to what is called diagnostic creep. The diagnosis has expanded so much in no longer mean what initially was an autistic person. It now includes people who are just a bit anxious or quirky, who wouldn't previously have been considered autistic at all.
Being able to legally define the condition is important to people who truly have it, but in my opinion autism is no longer it. I think it's true for other "popular" disorders too like ADHD, every second person now claims to have it… when they clearly just don't. Yet somehow plenty of them DO get diagnosed somehow. It's a massive problem in my opinion, but the "woke" online crowd is very vocal about how
valid and good self-diagnosing is, and they have made it so people like them are actually considered true autists (and other) now. People like me who voice their concerns are just called gate keepers and get thrown out of the community until all voices are silenced.
No. 2293702
>>2293244Not true for my country specifically, though of course since I speak English a lot of the autists/ADHD I see online are from America where that's true.
I think a big part is identity politics and online activists treating a diagnosis as an identity. Psychology and therapy is the most identity ideology infested field there is (due to troons taking it over fully) and it spills over onto autism and ADHD too.
And the older generation of practitioners who should (and do) know better are so out of touch with the online world that they genuinely don't think anyone could or would ever fake a disorder like autism or ADHD. They don't get there's a massive social incentive for them to do so.
No. 2304938
File: 1733977977563.jpg (16.68 KB, 542x566, images-3.jpg)
What do you do when you get a therapist that basically thinks ADHD is not a real diagnosis and that you can fix all the symptoms away yourself? I'm upset but I can't afford any other therapy service. Do I just take the L and keep going? Why is it so hard to find a therapist?
No. 2304943
>>2304928I feel this too. I can’t wait for the trend to blow over into the next thing. It’ll be a breath of fresh air when everyone fully realizes that this was the new wave of “oh em gee I’m so OCD” “I’m so bipolar” etc.
All these lame fucks should go crawling back to their anxiety diagnoses soon enough. It’s just been like Chinese water torture gritting my teeth through every day of hearing yet another blithe normie gleefully proclaim they “have the neurospicy tism!”
No. 2304975
File: 1733979667201.jpeg (117.39 KB, 849x934, BD2807EB-BD52-402E-AD9B-B3568C…)
>>2302023Try taking two and seeing how that makes you feel nona, 5mg is a very, very low dose. I’m not surprised you had that reaction.
No. 2305281
>>2304928>>2304943I think most people don't put you in the same bracket nonas. I really believe most people can tell the difference, there are people who I've met who I would have known have autism or ADHD without them telling me because it's just so obvious in how they act. Masking is a thing because if you don't actively hide it… people can tell something isn't right kek
Then there are people who clearly don't have it but we all just smile and nod along as if we believe them. It's like with troons, we just don't want to waste energy on starting a fight with the crazy person when we know they're thirsty for attention and would love it.
I still maintain one of the easiest way to spot fakers is to tell them "wow you don't seem like you have ADHD/autism" because they get genuinely offended and argue against it or try to "educate" the other person about how wrong they are to prove that they indeed totally are those things. While every actually disordered person I know is either going "aw thank you haha I've been trying to blend in" or they genuinely don't give a single fuck and don't even bother to reply because they might as well have said "rice is a bland flavor".
No. 2305289
>>2304938There is still a good chance a number of the symptoms CAN be improved by yourself! So like the other nona said, look around/save up for another therapist but in the meantime keep going and try out the things that therapist suggests. It's easy to blame EVERYTHING on ADHD or just one single diagnosis when in reality it's likely you have other personal quirks too that play into it. Just because you may have ADHD doesn't mean you're no longer a human, so there's going to be a lot of things you react to the normal human way.
The therapist is just a tool and a resource, try to use them to the best of your ability. They can also still help with other more general things, like maybe ADHD symptoms give you a lot of anxiety and a lack of self-esteem and they can help you deal with those parts.
And like other nona said, even if the therapist doesn't fully believe in ADHD you can still make sure to communicate what regular methods didn't work for you and why. It's possible the therapist still knows some excellent ADHD friendly strategies, but that they just don't buy that it's for a specific disorder.
No. 2305746
>>2305289Ok this is what the therapist told me
>Every time you get distracted, just do the opposite instead so you don't get distractedThe problem is that I don't even notice when I get distracted in the first place, but it's some type of "opposite action" technique
I know he's trying to help me but in a way I just want someone that is more knowledgeable in ADHD that actually believes in it to help me
No. 2305769
>>2305281>"wow you don't seem like you have ADHD/autism"Ngl if someone said this to me I would get upset because the person saying this to me would probably be one of those people that think only their 5 year old male nephew can have ADHD or they don't even think this exists and everything is being caused by tiktok and social media.
I simply ignore this type of people (maybe I would respond with a simple "haha okay thanks" and that's it) because in the end I know my life and my close ones know my life and I don't want to educate or correct people because it's not like they will suddenly believe in a diagnosis that is basically a fairytale for them. It's also not my place to "educate" people when no1currs about my personal business. The most annoying part is when people (mostly online) imply you get this type of diagnosis only so you can get high on drugs. Which was definitely not the case for me, neither did I get it just so I could tell all the people in my life or add it to my social media profile and be quirky.
So tbh unless it was very obvious that I'm struggling with some shit I simply would not tell anyone I have it, but if I ever did I would not want someone to tell me "omg but you look like you don't have it!". Like duh I'm trying to not cause a mess or be a burden of course I'm not going to act retarded on purpose. But it's also such a hard thing to bring up, even like at the most liberal left leaning work places, if you say "Sorry that I haven't finished my task I have trouble with ADHD" it's all only going to set you back or raise eyebrows so there's no fucking point to it all. Like why would I say anything to anyone, just to be scolded and told to stop getting distracted and that I'm yet another quirky retard?
No. 2305772
>>2305746Someone I know sets regular alarms on their phone, like once every top of the hour, so they can evaluate what they're doing and whether they need to be doing something else. Like
>alarm goes off>oh hey, it's 1pm and I'm still knitting.>I should have stopped by now, the dishwasher is supposed to be done>I'm going to set the needles down and check the dishwasherIt's not foolproof, but it lets you be distracted for an hour instead of distracted for three hours.
No. 2305774
>>2305746ayrt
>I know he's trying to help me>heOk yeah no try to find a female therapist. But again he could possibly still help with other issues in the meantime. Just change the focus to "actually I would like to focus on this issue instead" and dismiss whatever he says about ADHD until you can find someone who actually knows about ADHD. I don't trust male therapists for long time help as a female. I've tried had 2, one was a pervert who would steer things into a sexual realm even though I was basically an asexual teenage virgin with issues that had literally no relation to sex. The second one complimented me in odd ways and tried to hang out with me outside of work (which is literally illegal), I didn't even realize how predatory that was until I asked normie friends and they all freaked out about it.
No. 2305790
>>2305781The alarms might be helpful to try, although if you're prone to getting really off-track, I'd combine it with a written reminder of what you're supposed to be doing. So that way it goes something like this:
>alarm goes off>oh hey, it's 1pm and I'm still on Wikipedia.>alarm says: CHECK LIST>Better go check my to-do list>to-do list says: Draw 6 gestures from this chart of posesIt helps if you set up your needed materials when you write your list, like put a pencil and paper when you want to draw, so you don't get distracted while searching for art supplies.
No. 2306356
So I have this theory that there are 2 kinds of autism. Or even more if you break it into subcategories, but 2 for now. I've never told people about it but it's kinda how I see it in my head.
I rather offensively call the first one "retard autism", and the other "hereditary autism".
I classify myself as the latter, because me and my sister are both high functioning, but still obvious diagnosed autists. I's very clearly from traits that run in the family. 90% of people in my family don't have enough symptoms to qualify as autists, but plenty have like 1-3 traits each. It's so easy to see that the same trait is there, but in a "lighter" version. And then a few of us got lucky enough that we've got so many of those traits at the same time that we qualify for autism.
The other kind of "retard autist" is perhaps the more "true" autist because it's someone who got autism "out of nowhere". No family around them qualify, and barely anyone else seem to have any of the symptoms. They seem to have it all as a (normally appearing) random retardation mutation, it happens.
Now this could just be me coping by trying to create some kind of distance between the two, but I've had several friends I'd place into the retard category and I truly don't look down on it, it's just how I'm trying to make sense of it. Sometimes I wonder if it's more like someone being born very petite and short VS someone being born with actual dwarfism. You ended up the same height and thus struggle with the same height related things, but at the core the issue is different and dwarfism comes with other medical side effects that an average short person doesn't get.
No. 2306764
>>2306633>I think you can (or can practice trying), to discern whenever someone is saying that as praise, out of ignorance or malice. I don't see it as such a high praiseFor me it's hard to tell because you never know the true intentions behind it so I'm often left to assume they don't know enough about it or they simply don't care or think it's all lies and it's tiring to have to deal with it, so I often just don't say anything
>Also if you can and it's good I don't see anything wrong with needing adjustments in your school or workplace. You're making an effort to be as functional as you can even if you need help.In theory I love this but there are so many assholes out there that see you differently after you tell them
No. 2306786
>>2306764Tbh it becomes pretty clear to me if I judge someone by their actions vs the words they say or don't say. I'm used to people watch, study/ied human behavior like a proper weirdo and rely on the help of some kind people that weight in on whenever or not a behavior is weird ( outside of just a gut feeling)
And about the asshole part, it's gonna sound ruthless but unless there being an active nuisance/ harassing me or not allowing me to progress in life or keeping me away from rights there opinion objectively is as worth as much as gum on a sidewalk.
No. 2307229
File: 1734141674442.png (129.09 KB, 992x577, comparison is not possible.png)
>>2307215>Each person is unique, therefore true comparison is impossible.Free yourself of this disease that is comparison. You were born different from everyone else. You will never be like everyone else because everyone else is just as unique and special and different as you are already.
>I want to work and be a productive member of society.You are a human being, not a machine in a factory. Your worth is not judged by your production value or your type of work. An artist is just as valuable as a doctor. The one that sings is just as important as the one that writes the songs: there can't be one without the other. You haven't found your purpose because there is no purpose. The idea that there is a purpose is predicated on lies and fallacies and perpetuated by the blind and the foolish. Free yourself of purpose so that you can finally live.
>I'm so ashamed nonas.Why should you be ashamed? You are not the interloper, you are blameless. Why should you be ashamed to be yourself? Why should you be ashamed to live? Why should you be ashamed to be different? What is the providence of this shame? Is it from within you, or is it from outside you?
No. 2307459
>>2307455The issue is when those labels are forced upon others and taught to children and the mentally unwell, who take them literally without question.
If it were just categorization autism where someone needs to define the specification of their sexuality down to the finest details (e.g. demisexual) I wouldn't care. Hell, most people wouldn't care about gendies if they were just describing "feelings" they had without claiming they are LITERALLY half-male half-female bigenders who deserve access to both spaces. You can't give them an inch because they'll always take things too far.
No. 2307588
>>2307272To be a bit mean, at least you feel guilty ( even if you shouldn't), Pixielocks really doesn't. Also idk much about your situation but give yourself some slack. I think people can have/ derive sense from a purpose, but what that is and how it manifests in people's lives is very different I think. But saying as another Anon said here that people don't come with an inbuilt purpose is at least a more useful mindset to have and allows you to look for what could fulfill you.
Also while independece is nice, I think due to culture, people shame others for living with family a bit too much. Especially in this economy. Also in case of ASD and mine in specific, people forgot that it can be considered a disability and thus someone autistic may always need to live with someone in order to function ( even if there otherwise functional in other aspects of their life, including having a job, being able to drive, pay rent or utilities etc).
No. 2307754
>>2307215It’s definitely important to see your inherent value as a person and the value of happiness for happiness’ sake so that you don’t spiral—gravitate towards the things you can do and enjoy doing and keep a routine of engaging in them. And there’s probably other things you can do. At the end of the day whatever our abilities are we deeply want to feel useful towards the human collective in some way, and that makes sense as an instinct. But it doesn’t have to be full time work or even anything society wants it to be for you. I know some autists who do wildlife rescue work, or help with the local farmers market or a small scale farm co-op doing manual labor and not socializing much, or manage online-only logistics for a community project, or help with some types of tasks at a library or bookstore, quiet stuff that doesn’t involve interacting with others much or working long hours throughout the week. Or they do some kind of art, or musical practice, or linguistic studies, and they have online communities they work together with. Sometimes doing fulfilling activity doesn’t have to be clocking in or making money or doing anything huge, it can also be feeling like you contribute to some form of community online through your efforts. That sort of thing has helped me a lot in terms of changing my mentality, where before I felt doomed and broken because I don’t fit into a standard paradigm.
No. 2308113
>>2307825What works for me is keeping a schedule. I only allow myself to work on 5 projects at a time. This might seem like a lot, but usually I work on one thing per weekday, and then take time away on the weekends. Each project I have gets its own notebook (or file on my laptop). When I think of a new project or idea, I add it to a notebook I keep dedicated to project ideas. Once I've finished one of my weekday projects, I pick one of the ideas I have listed in that notebook and that becomes the new project that I work on for that day of the week.
So let's say on Monday you work on your novel project, if Tuesday comes and you have an idea or something for it, you can still jot it down in the notebook, but your main focus for that day should still be your Tuesday project not on the Monday project.
I think that a lot of people that struggle with long-term projects really just struggle with planning their time and sticking to a schedule. I used to be one of those anti-schedule people too, but I quickly realized that I wasn't getting anywhere or reaching any goals without a schedule. Creating a proper schedule for myself and sticking to it has helped me immensely in both my personal life and my professional life.
No. 2308680
>>2307633>but it's also a way of me to connect and say "hey I showed you my back because I think you're cool, show me yours"Some people can see this as a way of you purposely humiliating yourself, or excessively self deprecating out of seemingly nowhere when you two are having a normal conversation. It's obviously hard for us since It's difficult for autists to pick up on social cues but I like singular open-ended questions that interest me and the person I'm speaking to both so it doesn't feel like boring small talk. Let them express their opinions and be vulnerable In such a way that doesn't involve immediate self-flagellation, If that makes sense. Some people might not like to gossip or like to talk about the things they hate about their job at all, so attempt to start on a happy note. Try not to interject with autistic comments that resume to "I also relate!" which creeps normies out, try replying with a compliment which tends to sound more natural.
>I am completely socially clumsy and I catch microaggressions for being autistic, maybe both. I'm not going to lie, your post kind of makes me think you were harshly overcorrected for not masking or for being genuine, and If you're anything like me, especially while growing up You're not going to make a deep connection in one day but if you're a constant pleasant presence who exhibits confidence along self-awareness people will like you despite your faults. As a goal just try to make yourself less of an obvious people pleaser or doormat (normies can tell) and more of just a civil and nice person to be around.
I don't know your situation, but it's what has worked for me. People who wanted to befriend often mentioned being put off by my weird doormat 'tism attitude at first.
No. 2309468
>>2309467I don’t agree with this. She doesn’t look at men or women and feel anything romantic. Romantic is not equivalent to sexual attraction. She’s never had a crush and the idea of being emotionally intimate with another person is weird to her.
>>2309465She’s 25.
No. 2309540
>>2309468>I don’t agree with this. She doesn’t look at men or women and feel anything romantic.DA Although you have not yet explained what your sister defines romantic as, I assume she's basing it off of books and visual media? No one actually experiences TV or movie romance. That's a plot device to move the story along within a 30-180 minute timeframe (with product placement to please the sponsors). Even Jojo Moyes' real family life is very different to her romance novels and has spoken about how difficult it is to create a decent female character people will like. Within this context it's natural to never "feel anything romantic" in your whole life because it's fantasy from the start. In my opinion a sexual partner should be a best friend who you get to be intimate with and anything less is incomplete and unnatural (to me). If your sister doesn't meet people or meet up with people regularly then of course she won't experience feeling close to someone she likes because she doesn't set herself up for these experiences that grow people closer.
Sexual orientation is discovered organically by meeting people and discovering who you like and what you like doing with them. Many autistic people don't get these opportunities because they are often treated as social outcasts and not invited to events, since they "don't follow social rules" as autistic people don't really understand why they should or what for, because these rules are never explained nor the benefits of them.
>>2309487DA hypersexuality is caused by trauma and the "non sexual state" that hypersexual people go into is called hyposexual. It is not related to tumblr terms like "asexual" or "aromantic" and is absolutely not considered LGBT. A person of any orientation can be hypersexual and hyposexual because it is a trauma response and it is treatable with therapy.
No. 2309784
>>2309339>Why are so many women on the spectrum either gay or aromantic?If I look online nearly all autist females I see are gay, some form of trans AND have curated alt fashion. If I look at the many autsits irl I've met none of them meet the all the three criteria and the gayest one was still just bi and normie looking. So personally I believe half of those online gay autists aren't even autists to begin with, and the autist half are desperately trying to fit into the only community that has accepted them so they'll come out as whatever the fuck just to not be an evil cis straight person.
It's been years so I can't cite exact studies but here are some things I remember reading years ago about autistic women:
>Sexuality is often "late"So normal people get sexually active around their teens, while autists take longer to "mature" and don't get to that stage until about 10 years later in their 20s. The brain isn't fully developed until your mid 20s so this actually makes sense to me.
>Autists are depressed and given anti-depressants (and other drugs) from their early teens and never stop taking themAnti-depressants are known to lower your libido. Because they got on it so young they never really experienced their own sexuality and assume "it's just how I naturally am, must be asexual"
>Disabled women of all kinds are more likely to be victims of sexual abuse, often in childhoodAnd it's going to be by a man in 99.9% of cases, which can make the person fear and be disgusted by men and/or sex.
>Autist women are less likely to care/know about social norms. If you have a low libido and see a romantic relationship as essentially "close best friends" and you don't particularly care about the sex then why wouldn't you choose a woman? They're easier to befriend and less of a scary threat than men.I really wish people would talk more about this, I think there's a good amount of female autists who kinda are gay "out of convenience" because they're not actually that into sex (likely partly due to drugs like mentioned earlier) but don't fully realize it themselves. The kind of people who genuinely think "you don't fall in love with someones genitals, so why would their gender identity matter?". And out of those at least half of them think they're both gay men, they still identify as attracted to men (because they're actually straight) even though their relationship is actually with another female. Autists famously have a poor sense of self, so it's not that surprising to me.
No. 2312268
>>2311665That's what it's supposed to be in theory. Teaching them how to socialise properly and stuff. But in some places it's
abusive or something where kids are denied food or even beaten if they can't help stimming or something.
No. 2312543
>>2311665I have to admit I haven't looked into it
that much, but from what I gather it's not as bad as activists make it out to be. On a baseline it seems to just teach autistic kids life skills and decrease unwanted behaviors (which should be done to any and every child). The criticism doesn't seem to be towards the cases where there's actual abuse going on (which is naturally bad and not acceptable) like
>>2312268 mentioned, but it's toward any and all ABA therapy, saying the therapy itself IS
abusive.
I think 2 things happened. The first is that some socially unaware autist kids hated the ABA therapy because they were spoiled kids and think not getting their way is "abuse". Having to do something that was uncomfortable was less fun than being a nuisance to everyone around them. Them having to pick up their own messes instead of it magically disappearing (their poor tired parents doing it for them) is seen as forcing them to do something against their will. These people lack the understanding that their actions can be (and often is) a massive burden to people around them, but they see it as their right to be themselves because they're entitled and spoiled and have no empathy or understanding for anyone else. They don't understand why shitting on the floor is bad, their mom "happily" cleans it up anyway, so what's the issue?
Second is "identity politics" convincing them that being autistic is an identity, that they shouldn't have to change at all and the world is evil and
abusive one for trying to make them change. Identity politics allows for everyone to indulge in the
victim status. So then therapy isn't trying to help them but to change and "fix" them out of their true-self-identity. Which is ableist and evil! It's saying the autist identity is wrong and bad! And because this is the current narrative from "autistic influencers" (who generally aren't even autistic themselves) they all just agree with each other and stick to the popular narrative without daring to question anything.
Personal story time, I knew a male autist who claimed to be terribly abused by his awful family. Turned out it meant his brother making fun of his appearance and being transphobic by not accepting his true trans self (which meant identifying as non-binary and being too lazy to cut his hair). He went "no-contact" with his family over it, which meant he still let his mom come and wash his clothes, cook, and leave thoughtful holiday and birthday presents for him. This was a man in his 30s. His own vision of victimhood just didn't line up with reality. I think it's the same with ABA therapy.
No. 2312673
File: 1734533497177.png (311.43 KB, 538x382, im autistic now what.png)
Sorry for venting but i keep getting recommended her videos every so often and by now i can't stand her, every time i've been baited into watching her channel she always has the cleanest most woke acceptable takes on everything and lack any true nuance and it's so frustrating
No. 2313197
>>2313166>tiktokmaxxingKek. I used to kind of empathize with self-diagnosed people back in the 2010s, but once TikTok came around it became very clear that "autism" became the new "depression," i.e., every immature person wants to have it because they think it's a collectable for their main character story arc.
How is listening to music on repeat "autism behaviour?" Back in the 80s and 90s, before music streaming, we'd all listen to the same tapes or discs on repeat. Is anyone that had a walkman an autist? I really hate this idea that autists are some kind of special alien or whatever. We're normal people, we like music. Repeating a song a few times is what anyone does when they like the song. Why are all these normal innocuous mundane behaviours now a sign of autism?
>>2312862Repetitive behaviours are a sign of autism. In psychological terms, this is usually meant to signify behaviours that are repeated for no real reason and for no end goal. E.g., walking back and forth across a room for an hour. From a clinical perspective, if you went into the shrink's office and said "yeah, sometimes I listen to my favourite song for 30 minutes a day," the shrink wouldn't classify that as a repetitive behaviour. This is because there is a reason for listening to the song on repeat: music is an enjoyable experience for the listener, and it can help reduce stress or improve one's mood. It's why you see people that love music, regardless of if they're autistic or not, repeating songs and playing the same songs over again.
TikTok "pop psych" and malingerers extrapolated this idea without context into meaning "if you do anything more than twice in a row you have autism." They don't have the same education, knowledge, or experience as professionals, so they don't understand the implicit meaning behind symptoms like "repetitive behaviours." They only see it for the sentence it is, not the actual meaning behind the sentence. It's why you have so many normies LARPing as autists now, because "popular psychology" has become very popular online, so now it's like everyone has "medical student disease."
Repost since I replied to the wrong post, sorry! Then I messed up again but the 30 second filter caught me. No. 2316027
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I feel like a bitch because I tend to hate people for retarded reasons. I have one coworker who is really nice and who everybody likes, but I can't stand to be around her because something about her voice triggers my misophonia. I think it's because she's overly loud and tries too hard to make conversation when I clearly don't want to talk. There's another coworker who again is perfectly nice but whose body odor nauseates me and it makes me so fucking angry. I can't take my lunch break at the same time as her because she stinks up the whole room and it puts me off my food. There was another perfectly kind guy I just hated because he creeped me out. Then finally there's this TiF where I have to clean everything she touches because I've seen her (a grown ass woman) pick her nose and stick her finger in her mouth afterwards.
Why are other human beings so annoying and disgusting??? Why can't people just be fucking quiet and clean? Fuck.
No. 2316922
File: 1734818586501.jpeg (3.29 KB, 168x300, images.jpeg)
Anyone else have a more autistic family member that makes it so no one thinks you are really also autistic and instead thinks you're tiktok delusional or faking it or something? Or ADHD if that's what you've got instead
No. 2318485
>>2318464>I’ve seen a lot of guys talking about the male experience>it makes me feel as if everyone sees me as a man, because that’s my experience too>I’m relatively GNCAnd this is how autist tifs are born so easily. You even mention men ignore you and can't relate to your experience as a woman struggling socially, yet your female compassion still makes you think you can relate to the males. So in the end you're actually nothing like them! As other anons have said, this is the standard experience for a female autist, so within this specific female group you're not even GNC, you're actually GC because you act exactly like the rest of us! Autistic women are more likely to grow up as lonely GNC girls who don't fit in, with "male" interests and tastes. The "fear" or "being seen as a man" people get from you isn't even autism exclusive though, it's what happens to most people with visible disabilities be in mental or physical. Someone with a fully sound mind who is fully conforming and a normie, but who happens to have a physical disability that makes them look a bit odd gets treated as an alien freak to be feared.
To expand on the topic there's a lot of talk about "male loneliness" that fully ignores that females are equally lonely for the same exact reasons (modern society and social media leading to social isolation), but they don't give a shit about female mental health so they never mention it. Females are expected to sort it out for themselves somehow, while also being shamed for not socializing with the poor lonely boys as if it's our fault they got lonely.
No. 2318567
>>2310399I used to do both of these things (bringing homemade baked goods to work and making drawings for people) but it didn’t really make people like me, it made people like the things I could do for them. People started expecting baked goods and drawings and if I stopped providing those (due to lack of time, depression, other life circumstances) they quickly lost interest in me. I actually quit drawing entirely because it had begun to feel like an obligation and I burnt out.
The baking also resulted in drama with other women at work. At one of my internships another student started rumours that my brownies and other baked stuff were store-bought and I only pretended to have made them myself to impress men (??) and on several different occasions female coworkers got upset with me for bringing unhealthy food to work and sabotaging their diets. I only do it on special occasions now, but that means I don’t get credit because nobody ever remembers it was me who made the cake, when they talk about it afterwards they always act like it just materialised somehow. I’m so often tempted to just stop trying at all.
No. 2318575
>>2318567Yup, from experience people just find more ways to twist an autistic persons kindness into malice. They project their own lack of empathy onto us; everything they do is for a self serving or nasty reason, so by that logic they see our good deeds as an effort to destabilize them. It’s so grim but that’s the way it is with
toxic normies
No. 2318633
>>2318567You're not supposed to treat it like a full time job, if you're burning out from it you're overdoing it - but if they don't remember it was you who made it you should make sure they do. Email everyone saying "hey guys I brought homemade cake today, let's eat it together at 3 o'clock" or leave a note by the cake saying "Homemade xmas cake, please enjoy - Anon"
>and on several different occasions female coworkers got upset with me for bringing unhealthy food to work and sabotaging their diets.Did they really get upset, or did they say "oh no, my diet is ruined!" and you took it literally and as a personal attack? They could just not eat it and they know it lol
But most importantly you should have used it as a stepping stone to talk to them and get to know them, did you do that or did you just bring cake hoping they'd automatically like you? And people not breathing down your neck also doesn't mean they automatically "lost interest" in you either, did you give them anything else to hang on to? Did you show an interest in their lives too?
>another student started rumours that my brownies and other baked stuff were store-bought and I only pretended to have made them myself Frankly if someone said that about an obvious autist with obviously not store bought items most people hearing it would think "lol clearly not, you reek of jealousy and projection" so I think that's way less of an issue than you think
No. 2318634
>>2318575That's not a normal normie tho, that's a special kind of insecure
toxic bpd-chan who just seek out the easiest
victim to bully, which if there is an autist around will often be them. They're the ones who only do nice things to manipulate people so they project it onto their
victims. If the
victims disappears they'll find a new
victim, which is why others will play along/stay silent to keep peace and avoid being their next
victim No. 2319372
File: 1735038932585.jpeg (56.39 KB, 964x703, IMG_7232.jpeg)
back in the summer i posted about how i was going to go a young adult course for autistics, and now that the first term is over, i’m here to update: it’s amazing. all the teachers are so kind, my class is so cozy and i get along well with everyone, you can talk to anyone without feeling anxious. it’s so freeing. the assignments are fun and relaxing too, i’m anxious some days like always but it’s never to do with the course, and when i struggle with my anxiety, everyone is very understanding and accommodating. i have fun and get to try new things and get to feel pride over accomplishing things i didn’t think i was capable of. i’m so happy i’m attending this course and my only regret is not finding out about it sooner.
merry christmas everyone.
No. 2319489
>>2319372that's really nice nona! can't wait for the big dinner and gift opening tomorrow morning, merry christmas to everyone except
>>2319391 no need to be a dickhead
No. 2320438
>>2320354>I was so wrapped up in trying to be perfect for her because of all my apparent shortcomings that it didn't occur to me she was the one who was fucked up and insane.We lived the same life kek
>constantly undermined my sense of realityLiterally though, why do they always do this. And then they accuse you of being delusional and BPD once your reality is fucked up enough for them to take advantage of. Often they don't even know they're taking advantage of you which is what makes them more dangerous imo. Better to deal with a narc who's consciously aware.
No. 2320459
>>2320438>Often they don't even know they're taking advantage of you which is what makes them more dangerous100000%. I really believe she did not understand why what she was doing was so wrong and horrible. In her mind, I really was the aggressor, and she really was the generous martyr continually forgiving me for my crimes. There is nothing I could possibly say to make her see what she is and what she did to me. If you doubt yourself even a little bit, it's so easy to fall for someone confidently telling you over and over and over that you're the problem, especially if they're crying and pleading with you while they do it. She still contacts me to this day with all sorts of manipulative bullshit, circumventing my blocks and changing her number, intermittently love bombing and spamming me with threats when I don't reply, but I guarantee you she believes that she's the
victim and I'm the bitch who took advantage of her and then denied her closure. When you are dealing with someone who is that disconnected from reality, you cannot engage with them in any meaningful way. We are just not living on the same planet. And I really do think being autistic made me very blind to a lot of her dysfunctional behaviors because I am already bad at understanding normal social boundaries and rules.
No. 2321129
>>2320638Too vague of a question nona. Nobody can be diagnosed over a gossip board, but as a general reply: all of those things point to it NOT being autism.
Are you asking for yourself or someone else?
A surprise month of Hellmas is now in effect. For the rest of the month of December, VPN posting will be banned.