/ot/ - Autism (ASD) and ADHD/ADD thread #5

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Anonymous 06/03/24 (Mon) 01:19:01 PM No. 2033638

I was diagnosed with autism at age 12 and I'm still suspicious of their reasoning because it makes no sense to me. I think it really might just be that I was cold and quiet to the people who were assessing me, in a way they interpreted as social deficits instead of me not being acting like buddies with unfamiliar adults. To people I knew I think I came across as a normal person, they thought it was as bizarre as I did. I cannot think of any "stimming" that I did at the time. Oh and I also had interests like every other kid on the planet, gotta be autism. Also may have been to do with my lack of eye contact, which is funny because not looking people in the eyes was a habit I developed at a young age out of a misguided belief that people would be able to hypnotize me with their eyes.
I've known a few other girls who also got autism diagnoses that were a huge shock to me, who didn't even seem "off" at all. Funnily enough they all grew up to be tifs.

Anonymous 06/03/24 (Mon) 01:31:54 PM No. 2033652

>>2033496
I go to the gym. I used to work out at home, but never had the self control to properly do it

Anonymous 06/03/24 (Mon) 02:28:15 PM No. 2033734

>>2033638
>misguided belief that people would be able to hypnotize me with their eyes
Even if those doctors were wrong, you're definitely more interesting than the average person.

Anonymous 06/03/24 (Mon) 03:56:38 PM No. 2033832

>>2033734
I used to believe that looking at gold could hypnotize me also (saw a shitty tv movie in which someone was hypnotized by a gold pendulum and made the wrong connection)

Anonymous 06/03/24 (Mon) 04:35:31 PM No. 2033874

>>2033496
find some outdoor physical activities that you like to do! i love paddle boarding and hiking so i do those as often as i can when the weather is nice enough. i have a gym membership too but i don't use it as much in the summer when i can do the activities i really like, i mostly only use it in the winter months or during rainy/cold weeks just to get off my ass a little bit. i find it hard to motivate myself to go to the gym whereas i love hiking/paddling so its easy for me to get out there and do it

Anonymous 06/03/24 (Mon) 04:55:12 PM No. 2033905

>>2033496
>Do you go to the gym?
I really like exercising at the gym and at home. I think it's a good way to stay healthy. I think developing a good workout routine in one's youth and sticking through it is a great way to maintain one's strength, self-reliance, and figure throughout the ageing process. At the gym, I don't really look for extrinsic signs of progress (e.g., are my muscles bigger, is my figure thinner, etc.), instead I enjoy the intrinsic signs of my improving fitness and state of being like being secure in my ability to lift heavy things (like grocery bags or water jugs), being able to walk and run for prolonged periods of time without getting tired or sweaty, and feeling more in-tuned with my body. I'm one of the autists that struggle with the "clumsy" factor, so working out with weights is a really great way for me to improve my coordination and my self-esteem in terms of being in control of my body. I also think going to the gym is a great way to meet new acquaintances, especially if you do spin classes or yoga classes on a regular basis. I met two people I like to workout with that way, sometimes we go for drinks too.
>Any tips for exercising that works for you autist nonas?
Going to the gym shouldn't be a big issue, but when I first started going I was very nervous and I felt self-conscious. I think that's just the fear of being in a new place and not knowing all of the inner workings of gym culture and etiquette, and after a month of going I soon realized most people were too busy lifting weights or too caught up in their own workout routines that they didn't even notice if I had failed at something. So, if you feel self-conscious just try to remember that nobody is really looking at you. I still go to the gym later in the day (around 11PM or 12AM) just because I like it when the gym is a bit quieter and I don't have to wait for any machines, and it also limits any social anxiety I might randomly experience. Another tip is that you should already know what you wanna do before you get to the gym, most people separate their workout routine into three days that each focus on a different muscle group, and they do the same workouts every time but slowly increase the weight or the amount of repetitions. When I was starting, I went up to the gym counter and I asked the girl working if she could come around and name all the different machines and then I looked up how to use them later, after I looked up how to use them I just had to practice once or twice and then I got the hang of it. So, try to get an understanding of the machines (it's easiest to watch Youtube demos once you have the names of the machines) and try to get yourself into a good routine where you're using 3-5 machines per gym trip, alongside 2-3 exercises with free weights (you can also look up these, e.g., "exercise with dumbbells for shoulders" and a lot will come up). Sometimes it's hard to maintain a routine, but I think that's one of the pros of being an autist at the gym: once I get into a routine, I follow it through. A lot of my friends admire my dedication to go to the gym 4 times a week, but really to me it's just what I do all the time, if I don't go to the gym I don't feel bad about it but I'll follow along to a dance workout from a Richard Simmons' VHS. When you're working out, remember that the mind-muscle connection is really important. When I started going, I thought if I did heavy weights it would be more beneficial, but I ended up always struggling through my workout and never doing the right moves. Try to find a weight that works for you, i.e., a weight that you can use without straining yourself, that you can use to perform the workout action SLOWLY, and that after all your reps are done you feel a slight burn in the target muscles. It shouldn't be too light that you don't feel anything or that you can do double the reps. Performing the moves slowly with intent is important; a lot of gym newbs will slam down weights but that just means they lost out on a repetition because they let the weight go too fast because it was too heavy.
>I want to become more active and healthy.
This is really important and I think it's a great outlook for you to have. Our health is very important, everyone says so. Once you take the appropriate steps to start fostering your health and acting in accordance with the desire for good health, you'll quickly realize that it's not just a psyop by gym owners: working out really does make you feel better about yourself and aids you in maintaining overall health.

Sorry if this post was spergy but I always like to give informative answers when people talk about the gym because I used to struggle so much with it and now that I'm at a place where I feel confident and secure, I like to help out others the same way some special people helped me out when I first started. If you want nona I will even post my beginners workout routine in the health and fitness thread on /g/ (I don't want to spam this thread with something off-topic). Let me know if you want me to post it.

Anonymous 06/03/24 (Mon) 06:14:37 PM No. 2034010

>>2033638
do you have a copy of your report or can you get one? i got diagnosed as an adult, but i asked for my counseling/psychiatrist records once and these people misunderstood me so many times it was infuriating.

Anonymous 06/03/24 (Mon) 09:34:01 PM No. 2034253

>>2033905
thank you nona! (and other anons who answered too!)
>remember that the mind-muscle connection is really important.
What does this mean? I'm leaning towards going to the gym by myself because I like having a routine set (and I already like taking walks in nature regularly so I'll be doing that too).

Do you think not doing different muscle groups in rotation and instead doing like a general lighter all-over workout is bad? I think my goal is slow progress and general strength, so I don't need maximum immediate muscle gain and would rather not have my body aching so much I can't function afterwards. That's how my teen friends made me work out with them years ago and it's just not sustainable for me to lose an entire day afterwards because my legs/arms/something is in constant pain and shaking. They basically kept insisting if it doesn't hurt you didn't train well enough and aren't getting any effects from it. Those girls also had their own adult sports trainers encourage training until you throw up and that just doesn't sound healthy to me… but they were also sportier and in better shape than me doing all that.

Also how long are your gym sessions? How many reps do you usually do? I'd like to see that routine too!

Anonymous 06/03/24 (Mon) 09:42:27 PM No. 2034265

File: 1717450945308.gif (2.22 MB, 592x640, fall.gif)

>>2034257

Anonymous 06/04/24 (Tue) 08:03:24 AM No. 2035049

>>2033638
>I cannot think of any "stimming" that I did at the time.
At the time? So you stim now?
I had a friend who is 100% autistic who doubted her diagnosis because they didn't get what she meant when she was 15-ish and being evaluated. After getting to explain herself to them she accepted that she was actually autistic, because all the signs were still there.
What you said reminded me of it, like "I didn't avoid eye contact because of social issues, but because I had this crazy childish belief that they could hypnotize me" not realizing that "childish belief at an age you should have grown out of it" can be a sign in of itself too. Not saying you are an autist tho, have it re-evaluated if you don't think it's correct.

Anonymous 06/04/24 (Tue) 08:31:42 AM No. 2035062

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>>2033496
ADHD anon here, I take a weekly dance class right now. The gym never worked for me because I wouldn't go regularly and would waste money by not going too many months. But a sceduled class where you HAVE to be at a certain day and certain time? I can do that. Haven't missed a day in a while. It's also a lot more fun than the gym, and I can notice my leg muscles grew.

i also bought something like picrel for homeoffice and it might seem silly but it does help me concentrate better

Anonymous 06/05/24 (Wed) 04:08:32 AM No. 2036340

File: 1717560512633.jpg (48.54 KB, 735x704, 1000021838.jpg)

How fucked am I? What should I do?
So I studied education (I had no other choice) and my face blindness is quite a problem. I just can't remember the faces of most students, and no, it's not that I see faceless beings like tiny slendermen, I just see generic faces that I forget completely about after a while. I also can't remember their names, the names just leave my brain, they disappear.
This has happened to me for years, I used to be in denial about this but I think this is it, it's actually going to fuck up my career for sure.
Like, I had to work with some groups of students for almost 2 years and I think I only remember the name and face of like 2 students out of around 120 students, meanwhile non-retarded teachers just learn who these kids are after a few weeks.
My parents say that I just don't care about them (which yeah, I don't feel like I truly care about them) but I should find a way to remember them, there must be a way.
I've tried so hard to remember names and faces, I even have a friend that keeps showing me her favorite actors and stuff but I even have a hard time remembering who they are.
I don't know what to do.

Anonymous 06/05/24 (Wed) 04:18:56 AM No. 2036355

>>2036340
Ok so I’m genuinely concerned that I’m slightly face blind or something. It’s happened to me several times where I’ve met people multiple times (without being drunk or otherwise inebriated) and they’ll come up to me and say hi and I just cannot for the life of me place where they’re from or how I know them. Or I’ll “sort of?” recognize them and know that I’ve met them before but I have no idea who they are. I can’t remember what most of my high school teachers faces looked like and I can’t remember a lot of their names, meanwhile my friends immediately remember funny moments from freshman year “when Mr. So-and-So said XYZ to this kid and it was hilarious” and I guess I was there but I don’t remember it at all?
It makes me feel insane. I’ve also done acting and I can memorize lines, no problem so I don’t know what my deal is. I took one of those online facial blindness tests that had celebrities as the faces and I passed and knew who they were so maybe I’m just self-centered and I just don’t remember people

Anonymous 06/05/24 (Wed) 04:22:24 AM No. 2036358

>>2036340
Honesty is the best policy. When you first meet the students, just let them know that you have a problem recognizing faces and it might take you a while to recall names even though you know who they are. I'm mildly face-blind as well, and most people are very understanding when I explain I'm just not good with faces or names. I could know a person well and talk to them countless times, but sometimes I just won't be able to recognize them or place their name. It's a fault that I've learned to work around.
>>2036355
It could be that you're just bad with names or faces! It's really not that big of a deal once you explain to people, just laugh it off and tell them you've been dealing with it for years and they'll understand.

Anonymous 06/05/24 (Wed) 07:50:48 AM No. 2036599

>>2036340
I agree with other anon, embrace life as a face blind person and tell people you meet about it

Anonymous 06/06/24 (Thu) 05:08:04 AM No. 2037881

Does anybody else struggle strongly with the ability to reciprocate conversations? It greatly hinders my ability to form any close bonds because i can't help but naturally be so disinterested in anything that isn't my special interests, which sounds to stereotypical, but it's so painfully true in my case. I often have to force myself to smile so i look engaged in the conversation and i am always at a loss for words as to how to reply to people almost all the time, so conversations die faster than they should have. I wish there was book that straight up taught me how to have conversations because everytime i go to a therapist, that's really what i seek out but i never get that help that i need because it's almost like it's something reserved for children. I've had speech therapy as a child before, but only because i was non-verbal, i sometimes believe hadn't my teacher forced my parents to seek it out that i'd still be non-verbal until this very day. Sorry for going off tangent.

Anonymous 06/06/24 (Thu) 07:41:46 AM No. 2038019

>>2037881
Have you gone to an autist therapist or a speech therapist for adults, or have you just tried general therapists?

Anonymous 06/07/24 (Fri) 03:18:07 PM No. 2039671

>>2038019
General therapists, i struggle to find any speech therapists for adults near me at all, but i think i will try again.

Anonymous 06/07/24 (Fri) 04:02:36 PM No. 2039695

>>2037881
>Does anybody else struggle strongly with the ability to reciprocate conversations?
All the time. It's easier to have deep conversations over text or when I know someone's conversational patterns, but very hard otherwise.
>i am always at a loss for words as to how to reply to people almost all the time
Same. Most of my conversation responses are nothingburger, but there's ways to make it less obvious:
>casually/supportively affirm what they're saying. "Oh, I understand xyz. That happens sometimes." This is helpful when people want to vent about lighter subjects.
>ask questions. Especially if you're not sure what they meant. Most people like to talk about themselves, so it's easier to talk less when you ask questions and let them fill the space.
>most people will answer "How's your day going?" with either a socially acceptable "fine", or with what they've done that day. If you hear anything that you're interested in (for example maybe they went snowboarding that weekend and that's something you're into), ask questions about it!
>sometimes it's okay to let conversations die off for a few hours/days if you've exhausted small talk options. If you need to do something else, that's a convenient excuse to take a break and then come talk to that person later.
Not all of these are 100% appropriate at every time, but they're okay as quick-n-dirty hacks to keep a conversation going. As for struggling to get interested in topics that aren't your special interest, the main solution is to fake it until you make it. That's the only thing that worked for me anyway. I still don't give a hoot about most acquaintances' personal lives, but I can at least appear engaged and ask them questions to make them feel better in the conversation, and that makes them happy. Good luck nonna, I hope you find a good speech therapist soon.

Anonymous 06/07/24 (Fri) 08:47:28 PM No. 2039983

>>2037881
They can be hit or miss, but have you ever tried a support group for other adults with Aspergers? I go to one semi-regularly and I've made a lot of friends through it. I know that autists and normies have different ways of communicating, and while I don't struggle as much with talking to normies anymore I still like to hang out with other people like me and sperg together about topics without feeling ashamed or making them weirded out. I find that I get on better with other people with aspergers and I can enjoy my conversations with them more than with normies.
>I wish there was book that straight up taught me how to have conversation
There are actually books for this! When I moved out on my own I actually bought a book to help learn the art of conversation because I thought it'd be a good way to hone my skills and it easier for me to talk to people. You can find a lot of conversation books online that will help out, even one's specifically aimed at people with aspergers. It's not just reserved for children, don't feel that way: in fact a lot of normie adults don't even know how to hold a proper conversation, so I think everyone can benefit from reading one of those types of self-help books and learning how to be more communicative and to hold better conversations.

Anonymous 06/08/24 (Sat) 12:06:24 AM No. 2040211

Is there a way to be undiagnosed with autism? I was diagnosed as a teenager, but now as an adult everyone around me has it (not sure if they are self diagnosed or actually diagnosed) and now I feel embarrassed to be diagnosed, is it possible to get a second opinion maybe?

Anonymous 06/08/24 (Sat) 12:12:19 AM No. 2040218

>>2040211
You can always go in for a second opinion or dispute a diagnosis. I felt strange reading your post though. Just because it's a social media trend right now doesn't mean you should feel embarrassed or ashamed of being diagnosed. I've also had to deal with a faker in my old office job, it really disturbed me. I don't usually disclose my diagnosis at my jobs, so seeing someone faking it in such a way seemed so obscene to me. Once he brought in "stim toys" and everyone was being so fake supportive and all I said was "Is this appropriate for the workplace?" Eventually this led me to leaving the company, in a the end most people at work were either angry at me for being so blunt with the faker and I felt too annoyed to go on working there any longer. Sorry for the blog post, I just wanted to share to illustrate that most of these social media addicts that say they're autistic really can make it worse for real autists, it can be disheartening but we shouldn't let it affect us. Eventually the trend will shift to another disorder, just like how it switched to autism from depression in the late 2010s.

Anonymous 06/08/24 (Sat) 02:09:32 AM No. 2040334

>>2040211
Do you really want to be undiagnosed because identifying as autistic is "cool" now? It's possible, but that's a dumb reason unless it's seriously affecting your life. In a few years these people with jump to the new "cool" thing like all the other mental illness trends. I remember when everyone was "bipolar", then "OCD", then "social anxiety", and then "ADHD/autism".

Anonymous 06/08/24 (Sat) 05:12:09 AM No. 2040547

>>2040211
You don't have to tell anyone you are autistic.
>>2039695
Thank you anon!

Anonymous 06/09/24 (Sun) 12:27:17 AM No. 2041708

>>2040218
>>2040334
>>2040547
Thank you for replying, I don’t tell anyone I’m autistic unless I know them well, I never mention it in professional settings. A lot of my co workers who claim to have it seem so normal though, even my little sister has been diagnosed even though she’s a far cry from what I was like at her age. I used to rarely bathe, eat the same few foods, couldn’t travel on my own or make eye contact with people, completely melted down over certain smells and noises but I have all of those under control now. I’m really at a loss as to wether I’m actually autistic or if it was just a misdiagnoses, especially since everyone around me seems to have it now and I’m nothing like them on the surface. Sorry for rambling, I’m just at a complete loss mentally.

Anonymous 06/09/24 (Sun) 08:12:26 PM No. 2042660

i rarely go out but today i decided id tag along to my boyfriends board game night with 8 other people neither of us knew, i walked in and i was fighting back tears and eventually rushed to the bathroom and couldn’t stop crying. for a while i thought i had a bit of a grip on my autism but i feel so defeated today, as if its a rude awakening that i will never be fully settled and comfortable in society especially being bipolar as well. i’m now a young adult and i don’t want to be a neet for any longer but government benefits give me access to partial health cover for doctors which i use twice monthly etc. i’m in australia and it’s definitely not enough to live on if i were to move out, and the biggest problem is that if i get a entry level job the minimum hours they’d want me to work would be beyond the cutoff point for the government money so id lose my safety net. i’m thinking of studying at uni but i dont know what i should go into in the future. im just wondering for those of you who work, what sort of jobs work for you and which ones dont? a lot of remote jobs such as IT are going to become obsolete in a while so id rather avoid that, i was thinking of nursing but there is absolutely no way id be able to handle it. i’m feeling very defeated and depressed, i just want to live in the european countryside and milk cows, grow food, do handicrafts and feel safe in my own world. i can’t help but feel like the world was not made for us even though its ruled by autists to some extent. sorry for blogposting i dont post much but its just really bothering me.

Anonymous 06/10/24 (Mon) 06:58:10 PM No. 2044224

File: 1718045890220.png (1.49 MB, 1049x1050, tumblr_461eecc6d5c0af106803a55…)

hi nonnas. wanted to ask for some advice, I hope this is the right place to put this, I'm not too sure if it would be better suited for /2X/ or /g/. wanted to ask how others deal with feeling like they are constantly existing "wrong". I'm pretty gnc: short hair (used to be buzzed), no make-up (makes me feel gross), nails as short as possible and unpainted (sensory/skin issues), legs/armpits unshaved. I feel like hearing other women talk about make-up and nails, and seeing women constantly irl with make-up/fancy nails/shaved/etc. makes me constantly feel like I'm gross and doing being female "wrong", or like, I'm immature and childish. I know I've seen (normie?) women online call women who don't wear make-up "crusty" or immature, but I'm very hygienic and I look after myself (definitely look after myself more than the average moid). even though I know logically that there is nothing wrong with existing as a gnc woman I can't shake the feeling that I'm constantly being judged, not fitting in, that I'm doing it all wrong, that I'm always been looked down upon as childish and/or gross. does anybody else deal with the same feelings? how do you overcome it? thank you for reading, it's really been getting to me and I feel like I can't be "logical" about just existing as a gnc woman because of those constant feelings that I'm doing it all "wrong" and not following the "rules" correctly. ily nonnas.

Anonymous 06/10/24 (Mon) 07:11:01 PM No. 2044238

>>2044224
>I can't shake the feeling that I'm constantly being judged
I don't have much advice for you, but I will offer one thing. Almost every woman feels constantly judged. Even though the most drop dead gorgeous model you can imagine looks in the mirror and finds flaws. I know because I hang out with them, and these supermodels never have anything good to say about themselves, they only either say nothing about their bodies or negative things. It is the female condition to feel watched and judged all the time.
The only way through is to realize that the people who's opinion you care about are not judging you, while the people who judge you are not the ones you should care about. Those judgemental people are shallow or unkind or have lives that are a mess. To feel judged by them is like being worried about like a pedophile think of you, just a total waste of time because his good opinion means nothing.

Anonymous 06/10/24 (Mon) 07:16:58 PM No. 2044245

>>2028755
I always did wonder if one of my legs being longer than the other had something to do with my tism. I've had friends swear up and down they can tell when I'm the one walking down a hallway because my footsteps sound very particular. I'd never make it as a ninja I guess.

Anonymous 06/10/24 (Mon) 07:21:48 PM No. 2044254

>>2036355
When I was five years out of highschool I had a glance at my senior year class photo, and I swear to god I've never met at least 8 of those people ever in my life. The rest I remembered the faces of but had no idea what their names were, the only names I remembered where those of the three classmates I actually talked to back then. Made me feel absolutely insane nonna, so I get where you're coming from.

Anonymous 06/10/24 (Mon) 08:16:29 PM No. 2044316

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I have autism and a lot of my coworkers have ADD.
I hate that my quirks (like preferring a definitive "yes" or "no" in writing) are opposite of theirs (like wanting to "hop on a call" and screenshare something while getting distracted ten times).
The shittiest part is that I can't just respond to their "I need to pace the room and talk to myself due to my brain" with "I need absolute silence due to my brain, so let's compromise" because every time I have revealed my autism, it has been used against me. For example, if I tell someone that it's against cybersecurity policy to host something on a public IP address, they will tell me it's just my "black and white sense of justice".
People talk a lot about not being able to be honest with those in their personal life, but I feel like I can't be real with anyone. Well, except lolcow.

Anonymous 06/11/24 (Tue) 04:36:27 AM No. 2044761

>>2044224
I don't really have advice, but i can offer some of my experience for a sense of solidarity if it will help. I don't necessarily present in a gender non-conforming way, but i definitely do not engage in female beauty rituals beyond skincare and have longer hair. For someone like me who is already conventionally unattractive, i typically see women who are aesthetically challenged as i am working overtime to compensate for their looks by wearing heavy makeup and hair weaves. I have given this stuff a try, but honestly, my adhd rather than my autism prohibits me from having such an extensive routine, plus i hate the way makeup feels. I've been living like this for all my life and have been bullied so much as a teen for my looks that i feel completely numb to a lot of negative comments i get from people for my appearance. The feelings that you feel can never go away imo, i still get self conscious when i am around women who are conventionally attractive because i just feel so gross in comparison to me and honestly a lot of women are extremely judgemental towards other women they feel who aren't following the imaginary rules of womanhood from my experience. I personally think it can only get worse if you cave into everyone's judgements of you or the judgements you think they have of you and start trying to appease them because you inherit a new set of problems, not that you were going to do that. The only thing you can do is try to find ways of distracting yourself when those negative thoughts appear in your mind.

Anonymous 06/11/24 (Tue) 07:07:26 AM No. 2044864

I can't tell whether I'm autistic, or just depressed and find it hard to socialise as a result. Or maybe the third option being some level of schizoid.

Anonymous 06/11/24 (Tue) 08:43:06 AM No. 2044909

>>2044864
not aimed at you but the amount of clearly (and reasonably due to circumstances) depressed people who think they're disordered in some way is really tragic

Anonymous 06/11/24 (Tue) 02:04:23 PM No. 2045101

>>2044224
I carry a very similar inferiority complex from being treated like the frumpy retard duckling. But as i get older, i get more chances to talk to conforming women individually about makeup/looks (well, they talk about it and i listen) and i've realized they're in a private hell. They deal with chronic overwhelming anxieties about their looks and care a lot about being attractive all the time. Some are just coquettish women who've been drawn to this stuff since a young age, but a lot of them picked up these worries with puberty, do it out of 'duty' and are miserable as a result. That's it, they're miserable. These are the kinds of women who cry themselves to sleep because they think they look weird in some angle. What's really sad and bizarre is that they can be extremely beautiful and conforming, but it's never enough. Ofc GNC/autistic women are susceptible to dysmorphia but it doesn't become all-consuming most of the time. Even at the height of my teenage insecurity i was okay with going outside while feeling deformed or really ugly, but i know women who can't go grocery shopping without a full face of makeup. It doesn't make sense for you to feel bad because a neurotic person wants everyone in the room to ease her own misery. Seeing women like you, the more hostile/sexist ones see a reminder of the pointlessness of it all. I know it's hard to let go of the need to fit in or the nagging sensation that you're doing it 'wrong' (especially if you feel you're lacking as an autistic woman), but it's fine and you're clearly better off. Maybe try to retort to critique if/when it happens, so it doesn't imprint itself on you. Just say something like 'oh well there is more to life than being pretty'. I was talking about this exact subject with an autistic friend who's really effortlessly GNC. We listed incidents where women we both know would make us feel like shit for not caring and noticed all the women were really unwell, were known to deal with lots of self-hatred and interpersonal conflict. It's a way for them to displace their inner anguish.

Anonymous 06/11/24 (Tue) 09:03:43 PM No. 2045516

>>2045101
nayrt, but the whole makeup thing is so odd to me. Maybe its because of my sperg brain, but I genuinely don't spend enough time looking at people to register the specific colors and shit on their face, and I can't imagine spending enough of your present awareness to notice if people have on mascara or whatever. I've been thinking on it lately, trying to figure out if normies really do notice that much, or if the women wearing makeup are just living in a paranoid delusion of how much others look at their face. And even if others do notice, how does it actually affect your life in any way? Really seems like a self-imposed prison.

Anonymous 06/11/24 (Tue) 11:34:18 PM No. 2045668

Who else can’t get their meds? I’ve been taking them for so long they’ve altered my brain chemistry and now without them I spend anywhere between twelve and twenty two hours asleep which makes it hard to call around and get them. This is such bullshit I’m so fucking mad at all the people who got diagnosed over quarantine and the doctors who handed out diagnoses like candy. My life is a mess with the medication but without it I’m essentially a coma patient who can take care of herself.

Anonymous 06/12/24 (Wed) 12:13:24 PM No. 2046143

File: 1718194404632.png (149.63 KB, 345x353, bigbilly.png)

Having finally started to discuss gc on discord and a few other messaging servers, it becomes so clear to me how differently normies parse the world, and I don't understand why they are willfully stupid. It's like pulling teeth sometimes, trying to have them explain how gender and its ideologies can be rationally and morally brought out from what actually exists in the world, materially. It makes things so hard to explain, sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a five year old that goes off on tangents about what they had for lunch, and I have to keep reining them in. Can they not just keep to a single through line without bringing in "muh experiences" and their misguided empathy?

Also, dumb, but do any of you get weird earworms that aren't music at all? I've been having phrases from "talking cat" videos playing in my head the last few weeks and its so distracting. I'm terrified of being overheard muttering "I am Big Billy, the biggest wet willy
I'm gonna go clearly mh" by someone

Anonymous 06/13/24 (Thu) 09:59:40 AM No. 2047401

>>2045516
>And even if others do notice, how does it actually affect your life in any way?
People are nicer to good looking people. Pretty people take ageing a lot harder than ugly or average people too, it causes them a lot of distress. I recently heard an example of it where 2 middle aged women were at lunch and 1 asked the waiter for some change about the food and he just looked at her like "um no, that's not allowed" and she was disappointed and told her confused friend "I used to be pretty". She had gone her whole youth/life getting any mildly annoying and inconvenient change she wanted simply because she was pretty and people wanted to go beyond for her. As she aged out of it the "worse" (but actually normal) people started treating her, so to her the world had gone colder and meaner simply because she looks "worse" now.

Anonymous 06/13/24 (Thu) 10:02:13 AM No. 2047402

>>2045668
>I’ve been taking them for so long they’ve altered my brain chemistry and now without them I spend anywhere between twelve and twenty two hours asleep
That's likely just withdrawal nona, if you stopped taking them your body would go back to normal again. I had the same thing when I stopped my meds, I slept for days! I do fine fully without meds now, I'm glad I quit.

Anonymous 06/13/24 (Thu) 12:12:28 PM No. 2047447

File: 1718280748484.jpeg (73.68 KB, 736x414, IMG_6136.jpeg)

Never understood why people say ADHD is less stigmatised than other disorders when it’s clear most people just see people with ADHD as lazy junkies . I’m never going to tell anyone I have ADHD because they immediately stereotype and look down on you imo it’s worse for men when it comes to stereotypes.

Anonymous 06/13/24 (Thu) 12:24:32 PM No. 2047453

>>2047447
I see so many men with ADHD who somehow get a mommy bangmaid to take care of them. Women almost always get their shit together because like you, they don't want to be stereotyped as retarded lazy child who can't do anything for themselves and shids their diapers constantly.

Anonymous 06/13/24 (Thu) 12:47:14 PM No. 2047467

>>2046143
I get those earworms, right now I keep thinking of a video of a "parrot" guiding a blind guy (it's a guy talking instead of the parrot) it's so dumb but I need to listen to it a lot and I keep repeating that in my brain.

Anonymous 06/13/24 (Thu) 11:26:38 PM No. 2048133

File: 1718321198468.jpg (16.06 KB, 300x225, c89595b2a4ce5701c75dc7222388cb…)

Why do people think you can "overcome" or "get over" ADHD? It's a freaking disability! I can be functional (most of the time), but I legitimately wish I could evaporate into thin air at least once every 3 days.

Anonymous 06/14/24 (Fri) 12:13:48 AM No. 2048163

>>2047447
men with mental conditions of any kind usually make it women's problem so judgment is fair on them.

Anonymous 06/14/24 (Fri) 11:22:46 AM No. 2048783

>>2047401
I'm not saying this is entirely false, but I've never observed it irl. It probably does happen in certain situations, but my biggest tinfoil is that people are paranoid about how they look and it colors their experience. So when they enter a social situation when they know they look attractive that day, they feel like they're being treated better than on their off-days, even though it's probably due to the happier vibe they give off causing more positive reactions from others. So related to appearance, but not actually a direct consequence of it. I'm sure this varies wildly by social milieu though, so my rural working class eurotrash town probably has a different dynamic than SoCal or some equivalent place.

Anonymous 06/14/24 (Fri) 06:09:57 PM No. 2049044

>>2046143
>Also, dumb, but do any of you get weird earworms that aren't music at all?
Yes and I actively enjoy it, which surprises people. Though it is mostly music, but sometimes I get sounds stuck too. The way I see it they only get stuck because my brain finds them interesting or calming, so I let my brain enjoy the sounds.

Anonymous 06/14/24 (Fri) 06:17:33 PM No. 2049050

>>2048783
I'm euro too. Good looking people do get treated better. Or rather, people who are considered "socially acceptable" get treated better. You can be the prettiest woman on earth but if you wear alt fashion people will still treat you a bit funny. If you show up in the wrong clohtes for the occasion you're treated as clueless and a bit dumb. How you look does have a massive effect on how you are treated as humans are very sight based in their communication. But if you manage to look "somewhat normal" you'll be treated pretty ok most of the time.
Older women here actively make themselves less "feminine"(/attractive) so they get less attention over their looks, it's kind of an interesting phenomenon to observe. Finding a woman over 50 with mid to long hair and/or makeup is near impossible.

Anonymous 06/14/24 (Fri) 07:13:10 PM No. 2049112

>>2048133
Because if you try hard enough you can be indistinguishable from normal people to basically everybody you interact with. Thinking of it as a disability rather than an obstacle is a self-imposed prison.

Anonymous 06/15/24 (Sat) 03:28:36 AM No. 2049523

>>2049050
AYRT, Most of the women in my family only wear makeup for special occasions, much of the crafting groups or union pensioner meetups they go to, they put on some rogue or mascara.

My mom has passed 55 this year and still has hair past her shoulder, I'd say it's about half her friends has the same thing going on. I've got a grandma whos 84 who has recently gotten into reworking a lot of the dresses she made for herself in the 60s, because she doesn't want her old handiwork to go to waste. In my experience there's a far stricter hold onto specific beauty standards and routines than among my cousins.I think the idea of pretty = life put together was stronger with old people.

Can't really use alt people where I'm from since metalheads have been ubiquitous for about 45 years, thats not unusual anymore. The women in the local scene do trend towards not wearing makeup though, which is what I originally referred to - none have been socially isloated yet.

Anonymous 06/17/24 (Mon) 04:24:24 PM No. 2052870

I have an ADHD evaluation next month, and I’m freaking out about it, it’s all I can think about. I’m terrified both of dealing with an ADHD diagnosis and with an exclusion of it (because that will mean more time in the psychiatry carousel trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me) is it normal to feel this way?

Anonymous 06/18/24 (Tue) 11:11:21 PM No. 2054952

Does anyone else with autism struggle with bright lights? In summer time, I can't go outside without sunglasses on otherwise I can't open my eyes for longer than a few seconds. I don't mind florescent light or anything, but the bright sunlight really irritates me. I was always so confused as to how people could go outside in the sun without sunglasses and keep their eyes open and not have to squint or close them, but after talking about it at my autism support group I was surprised that other people felt the same.

Anonymous 06/21/24 (Fri) 10:11:45 AM No. 2058482

File: 1718964705446.jpg (2.49 MB, 2000x1529, infographic-pda-large.jpg)

>>2054952
I do, I have a million pairs of sunglasses in my car, at home and at work to deal kek. I'm also noise sensitive and loops work really well for me.

Does anyone else have pathological demand avoidance? It nearly fits me to a T. It's why I have so many issues at work, especially dealing with micromanagers.

Anonymous 06/21/24 (Fri) 11:10:09 AM No. 2058509

>>2058482
Yes, it's awful. I don't understand why 99% of information and resources about it are for children as well. Do children with this type of autism grow out of it or are we all supposed to kill ourselves?

Anonymous 06/21/24 (Fri) 11:46:14 AM No. 2058528

>>2058482
That's the ugliest fucking infographic I've ever seen. It sounds interesting tho, an you give some examples of what symptoms fit you and how they play out? (other anons who feel it fits them are welcome to reply too)

Anonymous 06/21/24 (Fri) 02:54:13 PM No. 2058674

File: 1718981652793.png (22.04 KB, 400x467, Demand-Avoidance-triangle-webs…)

>>2058509
They want us to kill ourselves, my main thing is, I'm competent and can get shit done unlike the people in my business. why not just leave me alone and let me function on my own?
>>2058528
kek, it is but it has a lot of info which is why I like it. I'm more sociable and people are surprised when I tell them I'm a sperg because I can carry conversation well. I have an interest in certain people and maybe can seem intense, I'm not sure if it comes across to others as obsessive though.I would say this image describes it best but it feels like I have a meter that just sets off when theres too many demands made of me. also excel best at filling roles, not quite role-playing since I'm not into DnD and stuff but like social deduction games where you have a role. It also in my long term relationship has shown up via sex, the more he wants it from me the less I want to do it even if I have the urge to, to the point where it just doesn't happen at all. Hopefully that all makes sense

Anonymous 06/21/24 (Fri) 03:04:38 PM No. 2058684

>>2058674
I feel like a toddler when reading this back to myself. I do the exact thing. I found it went so smoothly as to be unnoticeable when in certain environments, some jobs really do just fuck off and leave you alone as long as you get your work done and are important enough. The ones that just keep pestering you are impossible to me, though.

Anonymous 06/21/24 (Fri) 04:04:47 PM No. 2058749

>>2058674
>>2058528
PDA is really insiduous, especially when you don't even know it exists. In my life, it can look like anything from not wanting to get a menu item at a restaurant because someone recommended it to me, to actively avoiding work or even having trouble finding a job. When I worked in an office, I naively expected to be left alone for the most part because I worked efficiently, didn't really talk to anyone if I didn't have to, and followed up on things quickly. Unfortunately, all those traits meant my manager and even other team members saw no problem giving me even more tasks. Eventually the constant, unpredictable demands on my time, as well as the random fucking people popping by my cubicle and expecting me to entertain them with idle chitchat (and some other intolerable stuff about that place) made me break down and quit. It felt like I had no time for anything and that my time wasn't really mine, and I didn't know enough about setting boundaries or even managing my condition to understand why I was the only one working through lunch or stress-crying in the supply room with the lights off. Granted, that place was kinda shitty in general for other reasons, but with PDA tendencies it was unbearable.

Unrelated to PDA - does anyone get completely shut down from physical exhaustion? I swear some days I feel like a marionette with the strings taken out at the end of the day, or like the slightest movement requires overcoming an impossibly large amount of inertia.

Anonymous 06/21/24 (Fri) 06:39:56 PM No. 2058911

>>2058749
>does anyone get completely shut down from physical exhaustion?
I do (and have). Used to return home from work and crawl into bed as soon as possible.

Anonymous 06/21/24 (Fri) 09:32:11 PM No. 2059035

>>2054952
Yeah. It bothers me so much but i like not having anything on my face so i just face it outside kek. My curtains are almost always closed though. I open them for 10 minutes at a time so i get just enough sunlight for my mood

Anonymous 06/21/24 (Fri) 09:40:15 PM No. 2059041

>>2058482
i felt a twinge of rage reading this, it reminded me of the time I asked an ex-friend to move their tote out of the kitchen and they said they're demand avoidant so it probably won't happen that day. Just like how they never did anything to help at all, and then when I asked them to just do this one thing, they spiraled out and then kept asking me to reassure them I wasn't mad at them.

Anonymous 06/21/24 (Fri) 09:46:11 PM No. 2059043

>>2059041
>I asked an ex-friend to move their tote out of the kitchen and they said they're demand avoidant so it probably won't happen that day.

that's fucked up, sounds like just your classic dickhead who found a pop psychology term to justify continuing to be a dickhead. It took me forever to realize what my deal is and it's mostly things that negatively harm myself. Realizing this about myself would not make me want to double down on refusing to do something to help someone that takes no effort. It was also hell in school to be smart enough and capable but unable to do my homework or seek out help for it in most grade levels. I flew under the radar because I did just "well enough"

Anonymous 06/22/24 (Sat) 12:55:09 AM No. 2059248

>>2058482
Can someone explain to me how PDA is different from Oppositional Defiance Disorder? From what I've read about ODD, basically half the kids diagnosed with it "grow out of it" (aka they never actually had a disorder and were just spoiled brats) while the other half end up with antisocial personality disorder as adults, where they have trouble following laws and social conventions so they commit various types of crime or abuse.

Anonymous 06/22/24 (Sat) 01:07:02 AM No. 2059264

>>2059248
From what I understand, PDA is related to everyone, not just figures of authority like ODD. I.e., if a friend of a person with ODD suggests they do something, usually they'll do it whereas with someone with PDA will struggle with doing it even if it's a friend. ODD is limited to figures of authority, not everyone and anyone like PDA.

Anonymous 06/22/24 (Sat) 02:31:59 AM No. 2059312

I’ve been playing SpongeBob simulator on roblox for the past 6 hours. I am a grown woman and probably the oldest person on this game, wtf is wrong with me

Anonymous 06/22/24 (Sat) 02:42:34 AM No. 2059315

>>2059312
>wtf is wrong with me
You're awesome? There's nothing wrong about this as long as you're having fun and not being a creepazoid to younger players.

Anonymous 06/22/24 (Sat) 02:59:01 AM No. 2059323

>>2059315
Ew no, I just play it with my fellow womanchild friends

Anonymous 06/23/24 (Sun) 01:19:11 AM No. 2060560

File: 1719105551251.jpg (150.63 KB, 1280x720, 1600883473901.jpg)

I just have autism and didn't get a ADHD diagnosis (which is fine with me) but taking ritalin before bed helps me sleep. I don't have anything smart to say I just think it's neat. I'd think stimulants would keep me awake.

Anonymous 06/24/24 (Mon) 06:28:34 PM No. 2062407

I have issues with alogging, like getting really mad and wishing physical harm on a group or a concept, or exaggeratedly wishing for their downfall. I never thought of it as an autism thing, thought it was just a failure of self control on my part. But I was reading about autistic anger and it made me wonder if alogging can be a type of autistic rage? I’m curious as to why I’m like that. I can tell it makes other people uncomfortable when it happens and I’d like to stop. It’d be helpful to read about other people’s experiences especially if there’s a better word for it than alogging.

Anonymous 06/24/24 (Mon) 06:35:37 PM No. 2062416

>>2060560
if stims are making you calmer I have bad news, noni

Anonymous 06/24/24 (Mon) 09:24:58 PM No. 2062571

Does any other autist have a "uniform?" Like, a certain outfit that you prefer to wear all the time. For me, I have this one outfit that I wear all the time and I like it so much that I've bought doubles of the clothes involved. I.e., I have 3 of the same sweater, 4 pairs of the same jeans, 2 of the same blouses. Some of my normie friends get weirded out that I'm always wearing the "same clothes," and I know it's a bit odd myself, but I just prefer having 2 or 3 outfits that I know I really like and feel good in rather than a bunch of random clothes that I'm ambivalent towards.

Anonymous 06/25/24 (Tue) 07:25:53 AM No. 2063090

>>2062407
I've had this since I was a child. I don't know what to call it and whether it even is an autistic thing, I've always just thought that I'm an aggressive person. Though my dad has this too and he's the one I inherited my autism from so it might be related to autism. I hate it, it makes me look like a deranged retard when I do it in public but I can't really help it. I first became aware of it as a child when I noticed my friends were scared of me when I got angry and went reeeeee, and also when I found out that my mom had bought a book about "managing a child's anger issues" kek

Anonymous 06/25/24 (Tue) 09:45:08 AM No. 2063162

>>2062407
My autist friend does this and it's so confusing to me because I'm the polar opposite despite also being one, it's near impossible to make me mad at all even when I should be. I do think it could be ADHD since she has both and I don't?

Anonymous 06/26/24 (Wed) 11:18:36 AM No. 2064975

>>2062416
Nona if you're referring to the myth that "stimulants only calm you down if you have ADHD" I've got bad news for you. It's a lie, they more or less work the same for everyone. It's especially insidious that they push it extra hard when it comes to medicating kids when in reality they have the same effect on non-ADHD kids, but since they don't give them to non-ADHD kids they always just go "see it worked! Means the kid's got ADHD and we did a good thing giving them drugs". Of course they can't ethically give stimulants to healthy kids in a trial setting to officially prove or disprove it either. It's currently the same as what is happening with "gender affirming care", hormone blockers and hrt - testosterone is a known anti-depressant yet when a tif is given it they go "see, she's happier now so that means she was a true honest transman all along" like yeah no that's literally what it does to everyone, they're just not ethically allowed to suddenly inject non-tifs with testosterone.

Anonymous 06/28/24 (Fri) 07:08:10 AM No. 2068460

i have to move every 2-5 years because of my husbands job, and i really did not foresee how fucking idiotically difficult it is to establish care and get my ADHD medications every time we move. i need to vent because the last move it was fairly easy, he just called my last doctor. this new one is making me send in all of my documents including my neuropsychiatry appointment documents from fucking 2010???? like i don't EVEN KNOW IF THEY HAVE THEM

it's just really exhausting and i want to cry, i'm almost out of my medication. i've been hoarding it and not taking it for six months because i figured it would be like this, but it makes me so angry that between the shortage and me moving i can't get medication that i have been prescribed for that is very low dose.
i don't trust myself to drive without taking it so it makes me feel super confined, and when i finally saw a doctor after a 3 month waiting period i think they thought i was drug seeking like WHAT THE FUCK it makes me really want to a log myself because why would i make this up??? why would i choose to have this? and why would i have 15 years of documentation and you think i'm CHOOSING MY BRAIN TO BE LIKE THIS. i have such bad doctor phobia now because of this. i had to do the whole neurosychiactry exam, my brothers also have it, and to have people question me makes me feel so fucking shitty because i did not choose this, i don't even take my meds unless i need to, but what the fuck why am i constantly berated for something i was born with?

Anonymous 06/28/24 (Fri) 07:17:00 AM No. 2068464

>>2068460
samefag but when i say not taking it, i mean i'm only using it 1/4 the time i should be taking it, and haven't been driving or applying to new jobs now because i've seen how much i fuck up in my job/driving/life when i'm not taking any medication. it's made me really agoraphobic because i can't even take my fucking medication i've been on for 14 years. i work in numbers and when i don't take it, i fuck up and ruin everything. when i'm medicated, i can keep on track and don't do 50 tasks at once and then fuck them all up instead of focusing on what is most important and working my way down to least important

Anonymous 06/28/24 (Fri) 08:58:48 AM No. 2068528

If you were to de-diagnose yourself, what would your signs be? Would you be able to convince a doctor?

I'm pretty capable and able to work nearly full time, and I feel I'm decent at reading people socially. I only have minor sensory issues, they barely come up because it's mostly unusual food or too much light. I feel like if I pushed for it and said the social issues I have had are/were due to anxiety I could maybe have them buy it.

Anonymous 06/28/24 (Fri) 12:05:59 PM No. 2068658

>>2064975
Nonnie what are you talking about? They have the same effect in the sense that the drugs affect the same neurotransmitters but it does in fact help with executive dysfunction, impulse control and hyperactivity for people with adhd which is WHY it's considered "calming" and does wire non-ADHDers up they don't have a deficit of dopamine to begin with.

Anonymous 06/28/24 (Fri) 04:13:16 PM No. 2068977

>>2064975
what is harmful about stimulants provided you aren't abusing them?

Anonymous 06/29/24 (Sat) 08:42:51 PM No. 2071073

>>2068658
i can say after 15 years of taking the same low dose of adderall that it has been night and day in my daily life. i can actually focus on one task without starting 18 other ones and never finishing any. people who think that adhd isn't real and that stimulants don't work differently with people with adhd are retarded. there are DECADES of research. this is why i can't get my fucking medication and have to send in decades of doctor reports just to get my fucking medication and i'm just so fucking tired. on medication, i can work with numbers and i'm really fucking organized and controlled; without taking it i'm a literal tazmanian devil of chaos. it fucking SUCKS having it and i wish my brain was normal, why would i choose to take this shit?

Anonymous 06/29/24 (Sat) 10:16:52 PM No. 2071174

>>2071073
I think some people are just too far gone with the Big Pharma Bad mindset that they don't wanna admit medications do help a lot of people.
>this is why i can't get my fucking medication
I once experienced this for Bupropion, where my doctor had faxed the request but there was some sort of issue and the pharmacist was treating me like I was a crackhead for needing the pills, like interrogating me and asking if I sell them, etc.. Eventually I called my doctor and explained what the pharmacist was doing and then my doctor called the pharmacy to yell at them and the whole vibe change and suddenly I was being called ma'am and people were apologizing. I really do think at a certain point, people should be given more access to pills. I mean, if you've been on a medicine for more than 10 years surely the system can trust you to have more of your medicine instead of just the monthly dose? I think it would be good because then we'd have a backup for when the pharmacy doesn't have any left.

Anonymous 06/30/24 (Sun) 01:18:45 AM No. 2071335

File: 1719710325181.png (588.09 KB, 720x576, summer cat.png)

I saw this post on the vent thread >>2071075 and it resonated with me because summer is hell for me too. Do any other spergs suffer from a similar fate? What are your tips for dealing with summer as an autist? I have to constantly wear sunglasses in the summer or else the bright sunlight irks me, sweating is something that induces tard rage in me so I have to use extra strength anti-antiperspirants, I like the warm weather but I can't do anything after it passes 20 degrees.

Anonymous 06/30/24 (Sun) 01:24:13 AM No. 2071343

Is being witty a ND thing in women? I have ADHD and the normie women at work are not as funny as me.

Anonymous 06/30/24 (Sun) 03:35:27 AM No. 2071513

>>2071174
PREACH and wellbutrin isn't even scheduled? i am so fucking exhuasted at this point. they just are giving me beta blockers (which is helping with my anxiety but i still need my adhd medication and i am NOT drug seeking) like i have six months of backups???? if i was abusing it i wouldn't have backups???

Anonymous 06/30/24 (Sun) 04:34:55 AM No. 2071599

>>2064975
As someone who works with kids, I can't stand people who think like you. Meds are a godsend for the ADHD kids who need it. It helps them succeed immensely. Whereas the ones with ADHD who go unmedicated fall behind both academically and socially, and become increasingly frustrated about it. It is nothing like hormone blockers and that's an insane comparison to make.

>>2071335
I hate summer. I'm very heat sensitive and become dehydrated quickly. Luckily chose a job where I don't work for much of the summer so I can just stay inside and be comfy.

Anonymous 06/30/24 (Sun) 05:01:09 AM No. 2071667

>>2071343
The ADHD women I've known are very funny now that I think about it, but not exclusively so. They just have a lot of energy for comedy.

Anonymous 06/30/24 (Sun) 05:13:39 AM No. 2071692

>>2071073
As sleepanon I wish I didn't have to take ritalin, I really didn't. I wonder every day what these pills are doing to my body, so I worked very hard to only 'have' to take wellbutrin and a small dose of ritalin and it has been years since I made it a point to never take SSRIs again and hopefully one day I want to be off those 2 too. I fucking hate having autismbrain and being unable to hold or maintain habits like at all. It's always 0% or 5000000% every 2 weeks and never a steady 5% every day. I keep reading that this is ADHD and possibly a wrong dose of ritalin but is this not just being an undisciplined lazy retard? It's not like I'm stupid or useless I get to be hyperfixation albert einstein sometimes instead of sheldon every day

Anonymous 06/30/24 (Sun) 07:52:53 AM No. 2071826

>>2071599
I'm curious, how many kids without ADHD have you seen on the same drugs? How do you know it doesn't help them too? I mean the same stimulants have been taken by (older) students for decades to help them focus before tests so I think there's merit to them having a calming effect on people without ADHD too

Anonymous 06/30/24 (Sun) 08:33:25 PM No. 2072680

File: 1719779604820.png (313.43 KB, 983x837, Screenshot_20220424-1834382.pn…)

I had an actual meltie at work today. Thank GOD it was not too bad but it was certainly a loss of all control for a few minutes. I very loudly shouted some profanities and then sobbed into my hands for a few minutes and wasn't able to do any work for the next hour. I got purely lucky that I was with my closest coworker (also ASD) and no managers were nearby (extremely rare this is the case) when I screamed. It's terrifying to know I can still lose control like that, since I wasn't looking around to see if people were around. I could have lost my job if a manager just saw me sobbing, acting feral, and yelling "FUCKING SHUT THE FUCK UP" over seemingly nothing. It was just a perfect storm of over stimulation and I was taken over the edge. I've had public meltdowns before but I've always been a high masker at work and been able to keep my shit together, or at the very least take any aggressive stimming to the bathroom. But damn, I'm kind of scared now.

Anonymous 06/30/24 (Sun) 08:53:26 PM No. 2072701

>>2064975
I am so fucking tired of people like you. I've been unmedicated my entire life until my early 30s. all my life I've been a failure. I was hated by both students and teachers because of my inability to stay still and do what I was told. my parents just gave up on me at some point because they thought I was a lost cause. my academic life is a pile of failures and my self esteem is ruined after being told "she is intelligent but extremely lazy" year after year. I had no idea what was wrong with me so I just blamed myself for not doing better. I have literally punched myself on the face in front of my class because the teacher said she was just tired of dealing with me. my parents ignored any psychologist saying I had to go to a psychiatrist and/or needed medication, because they were people like you and thought medication was evil and harmful, oh they were "just trying to protect me". so I just went to a therapist once a week to be told "just don't do it" every single week, and every single week I would tell her "I tried but I couldn't" and she would just blame me for being useless. I was 11. I have tried to kill myself several times because I just hate myself and my inability to complete anything, my inability to just sit down and learn some skill, anything. I can only learn things by catching them on the air or when my brain decides I should obsess about something, but not enough so I can become actually proficient at it. it is so tiresome. 3 years ago I decided to give all this bullshit of going to psychiatrists and therapists a last chance before I offed myself and I was blessed with a doctor who actually listened to me, understood what I meant and offered me concerta. every doctor I've been too thought I had some type of bipolar because of the impulsivity. I was tired of being drugged with meds that did absolutely nothing and only made things worse. I can actually complete a task now. I don't feel so terrible about myself anymore, because of that. I don't feel addictive or impulsive urges, I quit drinking, smoking, imagine that. imagine if I didn't have those urges when I was in my school years. I could've done something with my life, instead of becoming a chainsmoker highschool dropout. but nooooooooooooo imagine giving amphetamines to kids, let them live miserable lives where they can instead get addicted to REAL drugs (not me saying that, studies say untreated ADHD patients are more likely to develop addictions, be in accidents, commit suicide, you name it) and just ruin their lives slowly so it doesn't bother you there are kids taking drugs YOU wish you were tweaking on. I hope you stub your toe every single day of your life. people like you denied me a fulfilled life. fuck you.

Anonymous 06/30/24 (Sun) 09:03:52 PM No. 2072720

>>2072701
>all that yapping
Average stimulant abuser texts be like(baiting/infighting)

Anonymous 06/30/24 (Sun) 09:05:18 PM No. 2072724

>>2072720
eat my ass full of shit(infighting)

Anonymous 06/30/24 (Sun) 09:06:59 PM No. 2072728

>>2072720
Found the zoomer newfag

Anonymous 06/30/24 (Sun) 09:12:15 PM No. 2072739

>>2072701
Ignore people trying to bait you into anger. I'm so happy you finally found what you've always needed & I'm sorry and disappointed that no one took you seriously, anon. I wish in general that adults could see "laziness" in children as a potential symptom of something bigger and not just take it at face value. It seems so fucking obvious to me that if a kid is distressed about feeling academically inadequate then maybe they are genuinely struggling and not just choosing to be avoidant. I'm sorry.

Anonymous 06/30/24 (Sun) 09:20:46 PM No. 2072756

>>2072739
thank you for your kind words nonny. I wasn't even actually lazy per se, I just had issues keeping up with writing, reading, doing math, etc and my teachers didn't seem to care if I or someone else stayed behind, they just wanted us to be quiet, so a lot of the times I was trying to pay attention but my mind wandered and I learned nothing. I had another classmate like me, but he was treated somewhat different, I feel like the teacher excused him way more often. his behavior changed completely around grade 7, I really think he started being medicated. I think I might have unsolved trauma about education settings in general because I really want to go back to school but thinking about it makes me petrified.

Anonymous 06/30/24 (Sun) 11:00:19 PM No. 2072902

File: 1719788419077.png (386.11 KB, 1170x1126, 1663284392787.png)

Does anyone have any autism whitepills? Staring down the barrel of 30 with this condition is really getting me down. There's so much I want to change and do with my life but I'm afraid it'll never happen for me

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 02:35:00 AM No. 2073118

>>2072902
idk if you consider this a whitepill or not. I think being NT would be very boring. usually NTs are not very imaginative or creative even if they have the most drive to keep going. I couldn't imagine waking up and having no thoughts except to do what I have to do. sometimes I think it would be nice but then I realize I would act like that for the rest of my life. like a NPC. I realize it's a huge copium but I'm willing to huff it. I can have a little optimism. as a treat.

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 02:36:56 AM No. 2073119

>>2072902
My biggest suggestion to other spergs is to join an an adults with aspergers support group. Most cities have them and it's really nice being around other people that are similar to us. It makes you realize life isn't so bleak.

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 02:38:35 AM No. 2073122

>>2073119
There's a meetup group for autists in my city but it required me to answer a bunch of questions before I could join it and I keep forgetting to actually finish them. It seems like counterintuitive to include a bunch of prerequisite questions for a sperg support group, we're spergs

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 02:51:56 AM No. 2073138

I have some friends I’m pretty sure are on the spectrum, and I hung out with them recently and it felt so nice. We are similar levels of ASD so it was easy to communicate. Finding people like you makes things easier. I know a lot of autists find other autists annoying but finding autists you can relate to is very validating, being able to talk and behave normally and weirdly without being judged or judging others. Wishing other nonnies the chance to find people on the same wavelength that make you feel normal and safe.

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 02:58:38 AM No. 2073142

>>2073118
Yeah I'm NT and all I do is stand by a water cooler all day and ask people about the weather and stare at flourescent lights.

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 03:10:15 AM No. 2073156

>>2073142
>I'm NT
Shoo! Get outta here! This is the autist thread shoo!

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 03:47:04 AM No. 2073192

>>2073156
What does NT mean? Not 'tistic?

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 04:38:30 AM No. 2073266

>>2072902
'NTs are boring NPCs!!' is incorrect and an annoying cope but i get why some think that.
My whitepills are
>You are an autistic woman, not a man.
That's noticeably better than being an asperger man, whether we're talking about pure social ability or presentation. Yes, a lot of it is due to socialization, sex differences and the fact that people are less forgiving of faux pas for women in general, but the outcome is beneficial.
>Being autistic shields you from extreme anxiety around norms and feminine scripting
This one took me very long to appreciate because i have a past with panic attacks and being slightly less compliant was harshly punished. But, hearing this from normal women made me appreciate my autism a little. Their way of saying it was 'you are less concerned with [bullshit] and i really like that in you' and i could see why when they'd describe the rest of their social life. Also, even if you struggle with anxiety episodes or a complex around autism, the fact is autistic women are much more likely to go 'kek don't care' when people around us try to get us to care about pointless social minutiae. I'm sure that if you look back, you'll realize that you were completely oblivious to a lot of things and that might sting, but it also means you have less of a mental burden on a day-to-day basis.
And yeah, hanging with other spergs does wonders. Even if it's very occasional, it feels like sticking your head out of water. If you end up befriending an autist you don't find annoying it's even better.

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 07:11:54 AM No. 2073355

File: 1719817914048.png (190.39 KB, 528x581, IMG_2593.png)

i haven’t had a single friend since i was 15. turning 24 soon. should i kill myself or does it ever get better?

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 07:31:20 AM No. 2073364

>>2072701
>because they were people like you and thought medication was evil and harmful
kek sorry you got triggered and felt personally attacked. Nobody said medication is evil. Harmful? Well yes, EVERY medication has negative side effects. The post was specifically about CHILDREN, not about fully grown adults in their 30s.
>I was tired of being drugged with meds that did absolutely nothing and only made things worse.
Mhm were you now, hypocritical much?
>people like you denied me a fulfilled life. fuck you.
I legit think your meds aren't working as well as you think they are, there is nothing calm or controlled about this post and it's filled with hyperactive rage and a lack of control of your emotions. If I contribute to your life sucking simply by maintaining basic safe-guarding for kids, then I'll happily let your life suck.

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 07:37:33 AM No. 2073369

>>2073192
>What does NT mean?
NeuroTypical. Non-autist/ADHD haver with a normal brain.
I don't use it and the matching "neurodiverse" which was used to mean specifically "ASD + ADHD" but much like trans it now means "anyone who says they are so" and iirc the creator of the term endorsed using it for all sorts of things like being trans, ocd, depression etc so imo both words have lost their meaning.

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 03:24:51 PM No. 2073666

Nona's I would like your input. Is it possible that I have just been an extreme procrastinator since childhood or that I may possibly have ADHD?

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 03:27:49 PM No. 2073668

>>2073355
I always get worried when people say stuff like this because I have been friendless for 5 years and this point I have completely adapted. It seems like the natural state and I have stopped suffering. The idea that after 9 years you would still be torn-up about it is extremely concerning, I think you're suffering for no reason and possibly headed for even more disappointment and pain

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 04:17:21 PM No. 2073726

>>2073355
you can always pick-up a hobby

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 04:39:57 PM No. 2073753

>>2073666
I am the same kek. I was diagnosed as a kid but back then everybody was so idk.

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 04:53:21 PM No. 2073768

File: 1719852801811.jpg (65.65 KB, 837x837, truth.JPG)

>>2073118
True I do think NTs tend to be boring followers
>>2073119
>>2073138
Yea I really need to make some aspie friends at this point. I'm way too isolated
>>2073266
The idea that I'm breaking rules without realizing it does make me feel bad though. I can't help being nlog but I don't want to be a freak either. Idk I guess I should just learn to lean into it if I'm going to be a freak either way
>'you are less concerned with [bullshit] and i really like that in you'
That literally sounds like some passive aggressive female NT bullshit kek

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 05:26:10 PM No. 2073807

>>2073668
nta but I wish I could accept it like you have. a lot of the hobbies I enjoy either involve other people or would be more fun with others. I don't want to be alone but at the same time, I am doing something wrong warding people off or I attract the worst people. I am still trying though

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 05:42:14 PM No. 2073825

>>2073807
You are right in the sense that the vast majority of things are more fun when you're doing them with other people. You are also right that you probably have bad vibes that are pushing other people away. That said, pushing yourself to find friends is like being an incel who scrambles to try and find a girlfriend. Desperation repels people. You might think your earnest attempts at connection are not desperate but they are, normie women have finely tuned systems that make them turn strange people away. Ironically you have more of a chance to make friends with men but they are never going to give you the same fulfillment of a female friendship, and you put yourself at great risk for harassment.
Is my tactic of keeping my cool and being as autonomous as possible going to work out in the long run? Possibly, or maybe I will die alone. But I'm never going to act desperate for other people to be around me, I will work on myself, be true to myself and hopefully rework myself in a way where I stop giving out a negative aura and I start to attract people.

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 06:15:47 PM No. 2073866

>>2073768
>That literally sounds like some passive aggressive female NT bullshit kek
You think? Lol
The women who told me this were close friends so i assumed it was sincere appreciation instead of subtle 'retarded pet' treatment but what do i know
>The idea that I'm breaking rules without realizing it does make me feel bad though
Right? I hate it and it's my default state but on a meta level, i try to picture a benevolent person who appreciates autism for these reasons (could be about autistic creativity or honesty, etc). Such people are rare but i try to imagine autists aren't annoying 100% of the time to onlookers. Okay maybe this is cope and not a whitepill. I maintain that autism in women can balance out negative socially-induced problems

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 06:22:39 PM No. 2073876

>>2073866
Samefagging but one last (better) whitepill is that meeting other spergs will make you see different presentations of autism. I used to think autism meant you were an aloof person, maybe funny or loud but always visibly uneasy and easily tired, because that's who i was (and the few other autists i met were similar). But meeting extremely outgoing/talkative spergs proved me wrong, it's amazing. You can just observe them rising above awkwardness and social disapproval of NTs by being fun to be around. Even if you don't give off this energy, it goes to show you can allow yourself to be a little more chill in social contexts

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 08:49:09 PM No. 2074002

>>2072902
Get to know other autistics if you can. I realize I just get along with most other autistic women instead of driving random people into (ironic) tard rage for standing around and doing nothing and giving off uncanny valley no matter how hard I try. If there's something I hate about autism it's that if I walk into a room, class, meeting etc and do or say absolutely nothing and people just hate me for no reason I know everyone knows I have the 'tism. So, since I can't hide it, I tell people I have the 'tism which they believe instantly (kek) then generally I find myself in less trouble afterwards. Save for
>creepy moids who see me as easy prey
>girl groupies who selectively exclude due to female rivalry
>that specific kind of boomer or gen x woman who's hobby is holding grudges against women half her age
The way other women can band around a single autistic woman is scary and I'm not surprised it has pushed many over the precipice of NLOGism and spawned a million of those retarded images. If you're getting ganged up on by other women for seemingly no reason I'll let you in on a secret, they're NT and have sniffed out you're a sperg despite your mask. just accept it before it becomes painful and you feel betrayed for being excluded
>>2073266
>the fact is autistic women are much more likely to go 'kek don't care' when people around us try to get us to care about pointless social minutiae.
>you'll realize that you were completely oblivious to a lot of things and that might sting,
I have no idea if that factoid about autistic women going through phases much later than their counterparts is real or just a meme but it really fits for me. It sounds stupid but I felt and acted like a complete child all throught my teens and only in my 20s did I start acting and feeling like a typical teenager. Now that I'm in my 30s, I feel like I'm in my 20s. I don't know how to word this without sounding like a flex because I actually really don't like it, I have a hard time talking to anyone my age. I only get along with anyone younger or older. This is not a good thing. It has never been a good thing for me.

Anonymous 07/01/24 (Mon) 11:17:21 PM No. 2074240

Adderall is demonic and I will never use it again but being prescribed vyvanse has completely improved my daily life. I have the cursed version of adhd (paired with my ptsd) where it’s constant vile, graphic intrusive thoughts 24/7. I almost never have any anymore, only when the med starts to wear off a bit. But it is still much more manageable now

Anonymous 07/02/24 (Tue) 12:09:34 AM No. 2074289

>>2074002
>I felt and acted like a complete child all throught my teens and only in my 20s did I start acting and feeling like a typical teenager.
I was the same with my emotional maturity lagging behind physical age. It wasn't until I was 21 that the two finally caught up to each other and I could act my age.

Anonymous 07/02/24 (Tue) 01:44:00 AM No. 2074380

>>2074002
>>2073119
>>2073266
Nta but I get so uncomfortable around other autistics, being around someone even slighty spergy raises my hackles in a way that takes a long time to soothe afterwards. It's even more exhausting than being around NTs.
Actually I do want to connect with other autistics for the solidarity and understanding but I have to get it through anonymous text on Lolcow because IRL I just want to scream in their faces. Idk what to do, does anyone else feel this?

Anonymous 07/02/24 (Tue) 01:53:35 AM No. 2074386

>>2071692
>Every 2 weeks
What's your cycle like? I do this but I've learned to lean into it because it's just how my menstrual cycle affects my executive functioning. I make the progress in the first half and then put my energy towards maintaining the progress in the second half. Doesn't always work perfectly but it works way better for me than 'every day' progress

Anonymous 07/02/24 (Tue) 02:43:18 AM No. 2074420

>>2074380
>being around someone even slighty spergy raises my hackles
you are part of the problem. they've done nothing to you besides exist. What do you even get out of disliking them? It's like being a self-hating minority upset about someone who is just like them who is happily just existing. awful

Anonymous 07/02/24 (Tue) 02:48:50 AM No. 2074421

>>2073825
Thanks, it doesn't sound like your issue is a negative aura, but rather an aloof and uninterested seeming one. I alternate between the 2 - overeager and scare off healthy people/attract bad ones and being so distant that I am unapproachable. patience and chatting online first has helped me with getting my closest friend. problem is now that I'm comfortable I might be leaning on overeager so it's a never ending balancing game that's exhausting and I might just give up entirely after I've given all my hobby scenes a fair shot

Anonymous 07/02/24 (Tue) 03:07:30 AM No. 2074432

>>2074380
>does anyone else feel this?
I used to feel scared and annoyed by other autists too but it was more a reflection of my own personal issues with my diagnosis and also a deep fear of actually being a sperg. It was basically just self-hatred that seeped out of me and influenced how I felt around others similar to me.

Anonymous 07/02/24 (Tue) 03:17:07 AM No. 2074437

>>2073668
i literally have 63726 hobbies to the point where i can’t make time for all of them and still wish I had company. yeah yeah i ward people off with my weirdness or whatever.
>>2073668
you should worry more. when i was 5 years into it i didn’t care. it started to hurt past 2 years or so. it will catch up to you one day lol

Anonymous 07/02/24 (Tue) 08:39:28 AM No. 2074625

>>2074420
Nta but why are you so angry? Autists are fucking annoying, especially the quirky types who barely have any symptoms (oh I'm sorry they must be masking then!!) and make stimming their entire personality.(bait)

Anonymous 07/02/24 (Tue) 08:44:19 AM No. 2074627

>>2074625
>why are you so angry?
>calling autists annoying in an autist thread
go away

Anonymous 07/02/24 (Tue) 11:28:04 AM No. 2074710

>>2073666
>Is it possible that I have just been an extreme procrastinator since childhood or that I may possibly have ADHD?
Rule of thumb, never assume you have a specific disorder (not just ADHD) until you've explored every other possible reason. Do not self-diagnose.
For example for ADHD, you could be intolerant of common foods that make you feel sluggish all the time, you could have sleep apnea and insomnia that make you constantly a bit tired, unchecked allergies, your family upbringing might have been chaotic so you were stressed all the time and had a hard time focusing, you were plopped down in front of tv, games, social media and it fried your dopamine receptors so now you only respond to immediate stimulation, you were born late in the year and/or were taller than your peers and were thus always expected and assumed to be older and more mature than you really were which made adults constantly disappointed in you and you took it to heart thinking you were immature and lazy (kids born late in the year are more often diagnosed with ADHD for these reasons).

You could also have ADHD, but first make sure at a very base you're good on 3 things: Consistent quality sleep. Regular healthy eating. A future goal you're motivated to meet.
You really need all 3 of them, it can't be just 2/3. If you've got all 3 and still don't function you can start looking into if you have a disorder. Speaking from experience, if you're healthy but have no aspirations or goals you will still be lazy and do nothing at all. If there is nothing on my schedule I get 0 things done at all that day. If I have things to do I somehow magically have 50 times more energy. I think a lot of kids/young adults are called "lazy" when in reality they just feel aimless and hopeless about the future and can't see the point in doing things like working when they know they can't ever afford a house anyway.

Anonymous 07/02/24 (Tue) 11:35:15 AM No. 2074714

>>2074002
>>the fact is autistic women are much more likely to go 'kek don't care' when people around us try to get us to care about pointless social minutiae.
This, but about bullshit like troon ideology. His feelings are hurt if I refer to him as a man who forces his way into female spaces? Too bad, I say what I see.
And also the way autists use science and proof instead of accepting lies at face value, because that's "nice".

Anonymous 07/02/24 (Tue) 06:41:11 PM No. 2075123

I have trouble speaking up and people think I say dumb shit. It sucks especially since I'm a wagie.
>anon, how many fluid oz is this cup
>I don't know, maybe it's 12?
>No, 20 is too big, it's probably 12
Like no bitch 20 is too fucking big why would anybody say that? Has anyone itt successfully made their voice louder without shouting?

Anonymous 07/02/24 (Tue) 07:21:55 PM No. 2075179

>>2075123
Yes, you just gotta correct them with "that's what I said, you misheard me" every time until you learn to be a bit louder. But do try saying it jokingly and not like you're annoyed with them, even if you are.

It's difficult tho because to me it always sounded like everyone else was pretty much shouting and I was the only one speaking normally, and I just couldn't shout. Speaking at their level mentally really felt like if you were to suddenly in a public space scream at the top of your lungs; you just know that's rude, startling and socially not accepted so you don't want to do it - you CAN'T do it. That's what it felt like.

Honestly one thing that helped me overcome it was meeting people who were as soft spoken and quiet as me. Then it became clear to me that "oh I can't hear this guy and it's making conversation really difficult. Huh I guess people really can't hear what I'm saying either and I really do need to be louder".
You always hear your own voice louder (and deeper) because your voice echos through your skull into your ears, so you're not as loud as you perceive yourself.

The way I've been able to make most progress is by recording myself speaking. I'd read from a book or article or anything. Then I listened back to get used to hearing my own voice and cadence. It feels super cringe at first but you get used to it. It allowed me to simply build confidence while speaking and then I could experiment with different tones or ways of speaking. I'd only do it when alone kek. Eventually I managed to speak a bit louder without feeling like I was shouting, and I haven't gotten asked to speak up or been misheard majorly in years now (used to be very regular). I'm still not loud but at least now people can hear me!

Anonymous 07/03/24 (Wed) 05:37:32 AM No. 2075872

>>2071826
Why would we give medication to kids who don't need medication…? That's like injecting insulin into kids who don't have diabetes. I really don't get what your point is, other than you seem to think ADHD kids shouldn't be medicated even though it helps them so much.

>>2073119
My local one is filled with troons/genderspecials and it really bums me out. I went just once and was so uncomfortable.

Anonymous 07/03/24 (Wed) 09:34:50 AM No. 2075997

i’m gonna go an adult course for autistic people to help us navigate adult and work life with autism. i’ve visited the school before i got accepted and all the staff and students were so kind and happy and positive. the mentor told me how one guy who struggled greatly socially made lots of friends and now dares to take the train instead of getting a taxi because he gets to take the train with his course friends.

i’m so excited, i’m sure some farmer would call me a special eds retard or whatever but i don’t care. i think this will help me greatly and i’m excited to make friends and learn strategies for living a more happy and independent life with my autism.

Anonymous 07/03/24 (Wed) 01:50:39 PM No. 2076212

>>2073364
>picks a fight in an ADHD / autism thread
>shares misinformation, people respond
>"U MAD!?!?? LOL!"(continuing 2 day infight)

Anonymous 07/03/24 (Wed) 04:41:51 PM No. 2076444

>>2072680
it's okay, anon. don't beat yrself up over it, it happens. and honestly if your managers aren't complete assholes they'd probably be fine with it-everyone snaps sometimes regardless of our diagnoses. i hope you aren't beating yrself up over this bc i've seen old adults have freakouts over literally nothing because they were just having a bad day. it happens and you move on, don't feel like it's bc yr on the spectrum. giving you a hug virtually

Anonymous 07/03/24 (Wed) 04:50:41 PM No. 2076449

>>2074380
>being around someone even slighty spergy raises my hackles
why? i have adhd and it feels like i literally attract other adhd and autistic people into my social orbit–and i love it. i love being around other people that i don't have to mask who i really am towards. adhd and autistic people have no filter and it's so freeing. i love all you super direct weirdos, it's refreshing

Anonymous 07/03/24 (Wed) 05:29:19 PM No. 2076479

>>2075997
That's awesome anon. Hope it helps you. I wish we had stuff like that here, but autism is considered a childhood disorder where I live and so all the support programs are only for children.

Anonymous 07/03/24 (Wed) 09:40:04 PM No. 2076809

>>2075123
>Like no bitch 20 is too fucking big why would anybody say that?
This is making me kek. I can hear the anger.

Like >>2075179 said, it's all about practice. I had similar problems to you, for a long time I was always so anxious to speak that I often spoke very quickly and stumbled on my words. I speak dialect accent different from most people around me besides, so it was difficult for others to parse what I had said. I ended up taking time every morning to read aloud phrases from magazines in the clearest way I could manage while looking at my mouth in the mirror. After a few weeks of practicing enunciation this way, I could speak much clearer but I still had the pace problem. Now when I talk to people, I have to consciously remind myself to slow it down, usually if I'm talking to someone I rely on their facial expressions to gauge whether or not they understand me. Over time, my confidence around others increased a lot.

Anonymous 07/03/24 (Wed) 10:05:53 PM No. 2076834

i just had my second appointment to reestablish care in my new city, and it actually went really well. what baffles me is they still haven't received my prior care notes so they won't refill my adderall prescription, but they prescribed me xanax for my anxiety? like?? i'm not complaining about getting treated for my anxiety but i'm perplexed as to why they won't prescribe my adhd meds until my next appointment? i've been on the SAME DOSE FOR 12 FUCKING YEARS.

and does anyone with ADHD who also has anxiety and depression been on lexapro? they started me on that as well and i'm so worried about my sex drive tanking/other side effects from SSRIs

Anonymous 07/03/24 (Wed) 10:15:42 PM No. 2076847

>>2076834
>Anyone else been on escitalopram?
It's one of the more common SSRIs, I think it's most doctors' first choice for prescribing an anti-depressant. I was fine on it for a year, but then I started gaining a lot of weight and having suicidal thoughts. My sex drive was dimmed. Once I switched off escitalopram because of the weight gain, I tried bupropion and it helped me a lot more than escitalopram did. With bupropion, I don't notice that anti-depressant "feel" like I did on escitalopram or fluoxetine, I just feel better.

Anonymous 07/03/24 (Wed) 10:31:23 PM No. 2076869

>>2076847
I take both bupropion and escitalopram, started maybe like in April? For sure escitalopram makes you gain weight. I actually bupropion alone because I felt it made me less “hungry” or focused on foods, too bad it was terrible at managing my moods. I was often crying or getting heated easily which isn’t typical of me, so I had to get escitalopram. It sucks though because it really lowers your libido, and mine was already lower than average. I also got Xanax prescribed but was told to only take it whenever I anticipate I will be in a situation that I know “triggers” me, so like conferences, meetings, etc. I usually only take that once a week; it really mellows you out. Makes me feel calmer than usual and I like it because the one day I go into the office and have to deal with the idiots there I can tolerate it much better. Just kinda wish I could go off the escitalopram but I know I can’t.

Anonymous 07/03/24 (Wed) 10:47:12 PM No. 2076886

>>2076869
If you're worried about escitalopram, you could get the doctor to give you sertraline instead. From experience, the two drugs augment themselves well. I never got the side effects of low libido from sertraline, and it didn't make me gain weight either.

Anonymous 07/03/24 (Wed) 11:00:09 PM No. 2076896

>>2074420
It's not happening on purpose, I'm not feeding into it by seething about how gross they are, it is a deeply uncomfortable gut reaction I'm trying to suppress. I would never say any of this to their faces. Did you read the part where I said I wanted autist friends?

>>2076449
Happy for you, but I don't know why it happens, that's why I'm asking.

>>2074432
Thanks for answering, it makes sense. What did you do to get over it?

Anonymous 07/03/24 (Wed) 11:32:57 PM No. 2076913

>>2076834
My sister has ADHD and was on Lexapro for awhile. It killed her libido and she lost sensation in her genitals for awhile (something that happened to me on Zoloft), so watch out for that.

Anonymous 07/04/24 (Thu) 01:17:11 AM No. 2076989

>>2076847
thanks anon, i was taking wellbutrin but i think it's fucking with my blood pressure now that i'm in my early 30s and taking adderall; it was fine at 22 but idk now. thank you for the rec re: escitalopram bc i will ask about that in two weeks, i appreciate you
>>2076869 thank you anon. i hope things have gotten easier. trying to navigate medication is so fucking hard
>>2076886 ty, she gave me a bunch of options and i said dealer's choice bc i've only ever taken wellbutrin, so she rec'd an SSRI and lexapro was the one she thought might work but if it doesn't, i'll ask for that next, ty
>>2076913 lol that's why i've only been on wellbutrin for SAD ugggghhhh i don;t wan't to be a sexless person but at this juncture i don't even have sex with my husband at all bc i'm so depressed and anxious so being alive is better than not having sex(integrate)

Anonymous 07/04/24 (Thu) 07:13:15 PM No. 2077935

>>2076479
thank you nona! i’m sorry there isn’t stuff like that where you live. (i honestly think i’m very fortunate, i don’t think it’s common here either but i happen to live close to this particular school that has the course idk if there’s anything like it anywhere else in my country.)

i hope you’re able to meet other nice autists anyway and have a nice support net, it sucks that autism is seen as a childhood disorder. we can all need help and guidance, regardless of age.

Anonymous 07/04/24 (Thu) 08:40:05 PM No. 2078009

>>2076896
>Thanks for answering, it makes sense. What did you do to get over it?
It's really dependent on the person. Like for me, when I was a kid I couldn't control my voice level and everyone always said I was annoying for being loud so I developed a neurosis about it. When I was in my teens I was always quiet because I was sort of afraid to be loud and feel embarrassed, so whenever I was around other spergs with trouble controlling their voice I'd always feel a deep sense of second-hand embarrassment. Eventually I got over this from introspection and figuring out why I felt that way, I realized that if the other person isn't embarrassed to be loud, why should I feel embarrassment for them? Then, if the other person can be loud sometimes and not be embarrassed, why should I feel embarrassed? And so on and so on. Now I don't have a neurosis about it anymore, I can be loud sometimes, others can be loud sometimes, I can even tolerate screaming more and I think it helped me become more assertive. You just have to introspect about what about other spergs makes you feel annoyed or scared, and how that relates to your experiences and feelings and how to navigate them.

Anonymous 07/05/24 (Fri) 12:49:49 AM No. 2078233

>>2075997
I'm so glad this kind of hopeful post exist in this thread. Now I'm deathly curious if there's any service like this where I live.
>>2074386
Sorry I didn't see your reply. My cycle is extremely irregular (every few months), and I've seen a gyno about it with a full round of exams, and it's mainly my protein and sugar intake, so I cut down hard on the carbs and sugars while attempting to increase my protein intake. It's still pretty irregular so I feel like I should go back. You've granted me an interesting perspective though. I'm trying to scramble for whatever medication or correct habits I can find when it could be a sign of unrest from my body. I sound a lot more hopeful than I actually am though. Should I go back for another round of exams?

Anonymous 07/05/24 (Fri) 01:25:37 AM No. 2078282

>>2074380
I don't feel like that towards fellow level 1s, but level 2s and 3s make me super fucking uncomfortable. Like seeing someone wearing noise earmuffs, flapping their arms, grunting and screaming at the top of their lungs. I just can't believe I have the same disorder as them.

Speaking of which, is anyone else annoyed that the Asperger's label was taken from us? I understand why it needed to be changed, but instead of changing it to something else, they just shoved everything under the general autism label. I really feel like I have something significantly different than these very high needs people and that it should have a separate name to reflect that. Is that just me?

Anonymous 07/05/24 (Fri) 07:31:50 AM No. 2078626

>>2078282
>Speaking of which, is anyone else annoyed that the Asperger's label was taken from us?
>Is that just me?
It's already been discussed here several times, most spergs (at least on lc) see nothing but negative drawbacks to the labels being merged and we all hate it. I still tell people I've got aspergers and not autism. That is literally what's written on my diagonsis anyway.

Anonymous 07/05/24 (Fri) 12:51:04 PM No. 2078810

My local university’s HR department has a special subdivision for working with disabled people (including high functioning autistic people) and they’re helping me find a job at the university. The lady who’s been assigned my case is really nice and says she has worked with tons of spergs like me yet she doesn’t seem to understand that I take things literally. Like she wrote “we’ll figure X out together in July after I’m back from my break” so I waited until July to contact her about X, and now she’s all surprised I haven’t already done X by myself. I’ve looked into it and figured out a plan but I haven’t taken any steps yet because she told me we’d do it together and she was on break. Was I supposed to disregard what she actually wrote and assume she meant something else? Why? Why not write what you mean?? I understand that taking things too literally is an autistic trait and I’m the weird one in this interaction but this shit drives me up the wall, nonnies.

>>2078282
I feel the same way. Like the other anon, I tell people I have Asperger’s instead of autism. The handful of times I have used the word autism people started acting really uncomfortable around me like they expected me to start screaming at any moment. The only time I’ve ever been “corrected” it was by a self-diagnosed munchie whose whole identify was wrapped up in being disabled.

Anonymous 07/05/24 (Fri) 03:48:22 PM No. 2078991

I am here to report that Wellbutrin is a great alternative to people who need ADHD relief but are also addicts who seem to abuse any source of pleasure until they go numb. You can't abuse Wellbutrin the way you can vyvanse or adderall, and it still provides you with dopamine, energy, and then allows you to be tired and sleep regularly. Of course, it's not for everyone but I'm just self reporting if anyone relates to this

Anonymous 07/05/24 (Fri) 03:51:40 PM No. 2079000

>>2078991
Just be wary if you suffer with OCD/bad anxiety. I tried wellbutrin but I’m too much of an anxious mess that after weeks of it working (I thought I was me again!) I became suicidal and paranoid and had a seizure. I actually got the courage to attempt suicide. But I have heard it working so well for others?

Anonymous 07/05/24 (Fri) 04:32:12 PM No. 2079054

>>2078282
NTA, interesting. I feel a mixture of sadness and empathy (unfounded or founded, i have grunted in the past kekk) for 'lower level' ones. But the ones who infuriate me the most are level 1s who almost seem perfectly normal, but fuck it up with autistic ego-centrism and a lack of social awareness. There's something about autists who can 'pass' as normal in many circumstances, but get cocky and display unpleasant cockiness. Like, if you're so proud of your 'masking' and assburgers, you can at least try to not be an insufferable dimwitted retard in every other way. These are the type who antagonize even though we have a similar presentation. Narcissism of small differences, i guess. I'm fully okay with autism if it's not paired with this weird superiority complex. Someone like Elon Musk fits this bill, i just want to punch this kind of asperger. A Zuckerberg is okay, because he lacks the inflated ego.

Anonymous 07/05/24 (Fri) 05:51:31 PM No. 2079124

>>2079054
>Zuckerberg is okay, because he lacks the inflated ego.
You are sorely mistaken. He was just smart enough to stay out of the spotlight after rightfully getting roasted constantly

Anonymous 07/05/24 (Fri) 06:30:05 PM No. 2079143

>>2079124
I can believe this. He has all the criteria for unpleasantness (male, successful in one specific domain, is dubbed a genius, etc)
Rereading my post and
>but get cocky and display unpleasant cockiness
KEK my bad

Anonymous 07/05/24 (Fri) 06:40:01 PM No. 2079148

>>2079054
>the ones who infuriate me the most are level 1s who almost seem perfectly normal, but fuck it up with autistic ego-centrism and a lack of social awareness.
They're male in 99% of cases

Anonymous 07/05/24 (Fri) 11:38:33 PM No. 2079326

>>2078233
For periods, i started taking inositol and it really helped making things more regular, please look it up. You don't have to have PCOS for it to work.

As for habits, I also really struggled with going all-or-nothing, even accounting for my cycle. What helped me was scaling back my ambition and focusing on doing things every day that were like embarrassingly easy, so much so that there was no reason not to do it, and keeping it at that low level for longer than it feels like you should. Like if you can't brush your teeth every day, can you keep some xylitol gum by your bed?
I found I couldn't bring myself to go through the trouble of getting changed to work out, make myself follow the routine, and then shower after, so I started doing 10 kettlebell swings every day. I focused on maintaining that for several months, until I was really bored and ready to add more workouts. Now I'm going to the gym whenever I can.
Obv I don't know what habits you're struggling with, and I don't mean to sound like I've fixed it for myself either, I still struggle. But the solution to the boom-and-bust cycles is to keep it as simple as possible even on the good days, and to see building consistency as the marker of progress.

Anonymous 07/06/24 (Sat) 10:40:42 PM No. 2080011

>>2079148
Definitely agree. The two male Level 1s I knew in high school both had superiority complexes and iirc were not well liked by staff and students alike. They weren't moids, thankfully.

Anonymous 07/07/24 (Sun) 04:56:01 AM No. 2080228

i miss my vyvanse

Anonymous 07/07/24 (Sun) 04:16:04 PM No. 2080683

>>2079054
Only somewhat related but just the other day I realized that I generally only struggle with male level 1s. Or in other words, that I‘m struggling with pretty much all male level 1s, regardless of whether they have inflated egos or narcissistic tendencies.

Because you can tell they never had to mask a single day in their life and get by just fine. Because they’re boys they get a free pass with every single fucking thing. Men do already lack empathy and social awareness as is, now if you put autism on top it makes it even worse. So even if they’re trying to be somewhat sociable/socially adapt, they lack any ounce of common sense.

Autistic girls can be obnoxious too, obviously, but usually they at least TRY to adapt and better themselves, while I‘ve never met an autistic male of any age that ever thought about trying to adapt to their social circle.

Anonymous 07/07/24 (Sun) 06:52:20 PM No. 2080861

Why are so many imageboard/forum users on the spectrum?

Anonymous 07/07/24 (Sun) 07:21:34 PM No. 2080876

>>2080683
Same. Some do better (level 1s with high neuroticism or conscientiousness) but they still betray their male socialization all the time.
>>2080861
SNS seems to be almost designed to terrorize spergs (everything is embedded in a web of frienships/rivalries (which are not always clear), mutual surveillance, screenshotting mistakes, limited capacity to add context so you can easily be misinterpreted…). Imageboards and forums are relatively much more relaxed. If you're cautious you can avoid becoming a recognizable poster, the focus is more on things that interest you or discussions that are more or less devoid of extra parasitic information. A long infight bears no consequences on a sperg's social circle. You don't have to repeatedly burn bridges after offending NTs and you don't have to worry about your image as an annoying tard. Forums combine both elements of IBs and SNS but still are slower, leaving more time to take in new info and reply without embarrassing yourself

Anonymous 07/07/24 (Sun) 07:52:50 PM No. 2080916

>>2080876
As weird as it sounds I found that as a sperg I get along best with psychopathic types
They seem to figure out that I'm an autist and just drop the social approval mask and don't care about me fucking up social cues or being inappropriate
Of course you don't want to trust these types of people but I find them easier to be around

Anonymous 07/07/24 (Sun) 10:19:10 PM No. 2081050

>>2080916
Are you sure you're an autist? You may be one of those "psychopathic" types yourself if you get along with them. They like to target spergs

Anonymous 07/08/24 (Mon) 09:51:27 AM No. 2081599

>>2081050
seconding this, when I see those types yes they will drop the normie pretence, however they will still target me for sadistic social behavior so overall they're best to avoid

Anonymous 07/09/24 (Tue) 01:38:07 PM No. 2082855

>>2062407
I'm not autistic (ADHD) but unmedicated i did a text with more than 10 pages explaining in detail to myself why troons were evil and i used to get extremelly angry and need to control myself or i would a-log about random things, KEK.

Anonymous 07/09/24 (Tue) 01:41:18 PM No. 2082857

Nonnas I have my first psych appointment after being diagnosed with ADHD and I'm really scared. What should I expect? I'm scared I'll be put on meds that make me flip out.

Anonymous 07/09/24 (Tue) 02:29:20 PM No. 2082891

>>2082857
Psychologist or psychiatrist? Psychiatrists are kind of encouraged by their field to prescribe meds, but you might have some luck telling your psych you'd like to try managing your condition without medication and see how it goes.

Anonymous 07/09/24 (Tue) 06:42:28 PM No. 2083172

One of my friends started hinting she may be autistic during the pandemic and this year she came out of the closet by calling herself autistic after reading a couple of books, doing research, and joining a subreddit and is driving me crazy talking about how "happy" she is for finding out and how that explains everything about herself or whatever that means. I'm not doubting if she's really autistic or not but it's upsetting to say at least that she defines it as a happy experience when she hasn't even been through a formal diagnosis.

I offered her some very good specialists to get her diagnosis since it seems that being autistic is something important to her but she says she doesn't have enough money (despite her worrying spending habits on her hyperfixation) and she's already convinced she has it and that's enough for her. And ever since this whole thing started during the pandemic then she's been acting really off, calling it she was "masking" before. To me is like a kid throwing a tantrum calling it "shutdown" or whatever.

I got my diagnosis for both ADHD and 'tism years ago after suspecting ADHD during college and despite feeling relief after my diagnosis, it would never occur to me to catalog the whole experience as something happy. After years I'm glad I went through that process because I'm medicated now and I can function like a normal woman my age so having these conversations with her it's infuriating to say at least.

Maybe I'm just bitter because my experience differs so much from hers but also I cannot feel alright with her acting like that. We meet in college and despite having the same age and academic background I feel she's regressing in age, leaving behind the self-sufficient somewhat social woman she was before. Again, I'm not doubting if she has it or not but she refusing to get a diagnosis plus acting like a literal child is really worrying.

Anonymous 07/09/24 (Tue) 08:47:06 PM No. 2083295

>>2083172
Im sorry I don't have any advice for you but I see a lot of people who are self diagnosed with autism act like literal children. It's so fucking weird. There will be 20 something year olds who have previously never had issues communicating buying communication cards like the ones literal nonverbal children use and having "stim attacks" on camera where they act like kids. Or the chew toy necklaces.
I think they want fewer responsibilities and just lean in hard to the autism self diagnosis.

Anonymous 07/09/24 (Tue) 09:54:32 PM No. 2083354

Tips for managing anger as a autist? I'm always angry and upset. I keep yelling at my family and friends over stupid little shit, like if they speak in a mildly annoying way or like, breathe next to me. It's getting so bad that I've been resenting and ignoring pets that I usually love because they want to sit with me when I want to be alone. I don't like being an angry person and it upsets me that I treat people this way because of ridiculous shit. I've started working full-time in the past 6 months so I'm worried it could be because of that. Thanks for any help

Anonymous 07/09/24 (Tue) 10:21:59 PM No. 2083372

>>2083354
Sometimes stress builds up and we don't even realize it. When we're stressed out, we can be quick to feel negative emotions like anger, despair, etc., so it's best to keep our stress levels at a minimum so we can be relaxed. You have to become better at recognizing the feelings of stress within you, and familiarize yourself with how you act when you're past your stressed threshold. Ask yourself, what stressors do you deal with every day? Figure out ways to handle stress and cope with your stressors. For me, this looks like planning my days better so that I don't have as many appointments or close together, I find having 2 days a week where I can be alone and sort myself out is great for managing my stress. Another way I manage my stress if by going on walks in a natural setting, like a park, and just absorbing nature. Being around trees and rivers and shit like that really helps calm people down. When I started working 40 hour weeks, I found it really difficult to be around people because I didn't give myself enough time every day to de-stress. It takes effective time management, but I managed to carve out an hour per day where I was alone and focused on "me" so I could de-stress.

Anonymous 07/09/24 (Tue) 10:41:21 PM No. 2083388

>>2083172
Ime, it depends on how long it has been since she had “confirmation”.
When I was diagnosed, I acted a lot like her. I was happy not because I was autistic but because I finally knew the roots of lots of suffering and trauma, I felt like I could finally reframe myself as a person, my experience and build my present and future with tools I needed before.
It’s common for autistic people to “regress” because of unmasking for the first time. I quickly snapped out of it when my husband made me notice I was leaving behind the part of me that could function (or try to) in society.
Try talking to her as a friend, without judgement. Good luck!

Anonymous 07/10/24 (Wed) 05:33:47 AM No. 2083685

>>2081050
>>2081599
Thirding this. Autists are obsessed with rules and justice, whereas psychopaths are the opposite and they blatantly disregard it. We wouldn't be fond of them even if they weren't targeting us.

Anonymous 07/10/24 (Wed) 07:43:17 AM No. 2083756

I suspect autism sometimes because I fit the little known symptoms that aren't diagnostic criteria kek. High introversion, autistic interests, attachment to shit like plushies, being awkward as hell and finding it difficult to talk to normies.
When it comes to actual criteria like sensory issues, rigidity/structure, etc. I score none or low on those whenever I suggest it to a therapist. But there's this deep distance I feel from other people that I suspect might be some form of nd. Would a diagnosis even be worth it?

Anonymous 07/10/24 (Wed) 01:57:49 PM No. 2083960

Out of curiosity, does anyone here have an autism diagnosis but never was outcasted/bullied in school? I've noticed people around me that have had no issues fitting in or socializing suddenly claiming they are autistic, and it especially bothers me because they seem like they would've been my bullies in school. Am I just being bitter or is this possible somehow?

Anonymous 07/10/24 (Wed) 02:03:21 PM No. 2083966

>>2083960
>and it especially bothers me because they seem like they would've been my bullies in school
Explain

Anonymous 07/10/24 (Wed) 02:11:22 PM No. 2083977

>>2083756
Try researching it more nona

Anonymous 07/10/24 (Wed) 02:21:01 PM No. 2083982

>>2083372
>Ask yourself, what stressors do you deal with every day? Figure out ways to handle stress and cope with your stressors.
I actually feel this too, I don't randomly yell at my loved ones but I'm constantly upset at my mom for the way she smells, the news she watches on tv, etc. I'm lazy to elaborate but I actually find her grating in very small ways even if I love her and I wonder if I'm an idiot or if it has to do with autism. Please don't judge me too harshly, I don't like being like this either

Anonymous 07/10/24 (Wed) 03:35:29 PM No. 2084054

>>2083966
Nta but she's probably talking about how the people that used to laught at the "weird girl" are claiming that are neurodivergent because it's popular now

Anonymous 07/10/24 (Wed) 05:41:56 PM No. 2084132

>>2083960
>Out of curiosity, does anyone here have an autism diagnosis but never was outcasted/bullied in school?
Me, a sibling and a friend of mine are all diagnosed autists and none of us were bullied (separately, didn't go to the same schools). It really depends on the place/culture. Bullying is very common in America compared to my European country. It's rarer, and where when it happens here is a lot milder. (There are actual studies comparing it all, I've worked with children and learned about it then.)

However! I knew one moid autist who sort of confessed (and I figured out out from context clues) that as a teen he was one of those cringe edge-lords who loved to make people feel uncomfortable for fun. I'd count that as being a type of bully.

And with all that said we were still seen as "the weird kid" on some level. Like people knew something was a bit off but they didn't care enough to bully us.

Anonymous 07/11/24 (Thu) 11:01:13 AM No. 2085164

>>2084132
>Like people knew something was a bit off but they didn't care enough to bully us.
That's so nice, I'm glad that didn't happen to you, sounds like an interesting study. I wonder why it's more commonplace in America.
>>2083966
Like the other nona said, I've noticed now a lot of people who seem like bullies or even try to exclude me as an adult claim to be "neurospicy" or "so adhd/autistic". There was this girl I briefly became friends with that I told I was a sperg and she was like "I think I might be too but my doctor said I have BPD" after spending more time with her it's clear she's not an autist and just a weird jealous person who is trying to skin walk me and simultaneously exclude me. That's just one example. The worst one I've come across is a therapist who claims to be autistic, from a support group I was in and she's just one of those twitterfag genderspecials, hated my guts and made sure I knew it.

Anonymous 07/11/24 (Thu) 11:03:38 AM No. 2085165

>>2085164
>The worst one I've come across is a therapist who claims to be autistic, from a support group I was in and she's just one of those twitterfag genderspecials, hated my guts and made sure I knew it.
Tell us more please

Anonymous 07/11/24 (Thu) 11:47:01 AM No. 2085211

What hobbies/interests do you have that screams “I’m a sperg”? For me it’s playing guess the anime opening quizzes in my free time

Anonymous 07/11/24 (Thu) 11:48:11 AM No. 2085213

>>2085164
>"I think I might be too but my doctor said I have BPD"
I think they're just BPD then but autism is a "nicer" diagnosis so they pretend it's that.
>The worst one I've come across is a therapist who claims to be autistic, from a support group I was in and she's just one of those twitterfag genderspecials, hated my guts and made sure I knew it.
Sorry you had to experience that, but god she sounds like she'd be such a hilarious lolcow to follow online

Anonymous 07/11/24 (Thu) 11:55:31 AM No. 2085223

File: 1720698931162.jpg (220.48 KB, 1280x960, ETzpDz3XYAAHphS.jpg)

>>2085211
i'm a huge pokemonfag, and i swear at least 50% of women who are into it are autists too

Anonymous 07/11/24 (Thu) 06:24:46 PM No. 2085565

>>2083960
I wasn’t exactly bullied because other kids quickly caught on that partnering with me on group projects (which made up the majority of our grades) practically guaranteed them a good grade, so they had a vested interest in keeping me around. Many of my “friends” negged the ever loving fuck out of me, though. I thought it was normal and that I was the problem. And yes, the worst one is now claiming to be neurospicy. She also tried but fortunately failed at being a therapist.

Anonymous 07/11/24 (Thu) 09:21:36 PM No. 2085733

normie obsession with small talk and their subsequent offense at me being bad at it pisses me off. have you considered that i’m not trying to be a bitch i just literally have nothing to say. let’s get back to work

Anonymous 07/11/24 (Thu) 09:47:38 PM No. 2085750

>>2085211
neopets so many current players are autistic women kek

Anonymous 07/12/24 (Fri) 02:47:02 AM No. 2085985

>>2083756
Doesn't sound like autism to me. Being introverted and awkward =/= autism, it's much more intense and broad than that. You might want to get screened for personality disorders instead, since people with those often feel distant from other people as well.

Anonymous 07/12/24 (Fri) 05:02:04 AM No. 2086085

>>2085985
ayrt, I thought I had some kind of PD as well, but got screened twice and came out pretty much negative so I don't think so. I had a therapist suggest maybe it was just me being sheltered and outcasted from peers due to social status/financial and racial issues where I'm from, which adds up tbh. Probably just a lonely retard then and not autistic kek.

Anonymous 07/13/24 (Sat) 08:55:33 AM No. 2087381

>>2085733
many normies are based under the social chameleon veneer, I work at a reasonably sizeable company with a mix of blue and white collar jobs and you get to observe differences in approaches to social situations

Anonymous 07/13/24 (Sat) 09:37:56 AM No. 2087398

>>2085733
You usually don't even have to talk back, just nod and use filler words like: oh? Mhm. Yeah. Ok, sounds nice. cool.
And they'll be happy most of the time. I don't actually care about what they're saying, I've just mastered acting like I'm listening.

Anonymous 07/13/24 (Sat) 09:45:13 AM No. 2087399

>>2085985
>Being introverted and awkward =/= autism
I wanna ask a question to everyone related to this. Do you feel you are awkward?

Asking because my impression is that for the most part us autist don't feel the awkwardness, the awkwardness is what others feel because the autist unknowingly does something socially incorrect. You need a lot of social awareness to realize that others are subtly acting strange around you in response to something you did and to figure out you must have done something socially wrong and to internalize that as bad and feel awkward. I can only really spot it when it's my (also autistic) friends who do something off compared to the normies around us, and even then usually I don't "feel" that it's awkward I just think "huh, I guess she does that differently than the normies and they don't seem to like it".

Anonymous 07/13/24 (Sat) 10:54:42 AM No. 2087422

>>2087399
I have been acutely aware of my awkwardness since I was around 10 years old, give or take. Maybe it’s a cultural thing but in my experience, people (especially other women and especially teenage girls) are not subtle about it when they think I’m being weird. I have enough social awareness to tell when someone is sneering at me, or rolling their eyes, or turns their back to me, or makes a point of talking over me and changing the subject. When all of my school ‘friends’ suddenly drop all contact with me over the summer holidays but do hang out together during that time, I notice. When my workplace has a ladies’ night out and I’m the only woman not invited, I notice. I wasn’t diagnosed until my early twenties and had insane amounts of social anxiety as a teen because I could tell I was doing something wrong but no one could ever explain to me what it was or how to fix it. After my diagnosis I had social skills training, but that focused only on the obvious e.g. don’t interrupt people, don’t touch people, don’t sperg out about the same subject for 30 minutes straight without letting anyone else get a word in. My faux pas are apparently more subtle so the training was no help with that. Even nt people who know me well and regularly observe me in social situations can’t tell me what specifically I’m doing wrong aside from being rather quiet. It’s a “vibe” or something. I wish I could either be normal or more oblivious because this middle ground is fucking hellish.

Anonymous 07/13/24 (Sat) 07:09:35 PM No. 2087773

>>2087399
I think i was aware subconsciously as a kid that other people behaved differently than I did, that I there was something that I didn't understand, but I thought everyone felt like that. Other people would call me 'different', but I thought everyone was masking like me (and they were just better at it), and part of being in a culture was pretending to like hanging out in big groups and being catty. I didn't actually engage much with that type of socialising, and I thought how sad it was there weren't more people like me who felt comfortable being themselves. Surely if I was being super weird, somebody would helpfully explain it directly to my face, right? Lol.
I thought I was doing a great job masking until my dad got diagnosed in my mid 20s, and I started to question myself and other people about what was normal. Also I think I got burnout because my sensory issues went crazy. Looking back, now I know the signs of nt people signalling that you're acting weird, they were doing it all the time.
I think I got away with it because I was conventionally attractive in a cute way, and alt, so people put a lot of it down to quirkiness?

Anonymous 07/13/24 (Sat) 07:30:51 PM No. 2087790

>>2087399
Tbh, I only noticed I was awkward around my mid 20's, until then I felt like the hate I received wasn't in any shape or form justified.
It was only then that I noticed how awkward I am, and it makes me wonder just how much of a mess I am as of now.

Anonymous 07/13/24 (Sat) 07:38:52 PM No. 2087796

>>2087422
>have been acutely aware of my awkwardness since I was around 10 years old
>had insane amounts of social anxiety as a teen because I could tell I was doing something wrong
But aren't those different things? Do you actually feel awkwardness or do you just feel anxious because you know something is wrong but you don't know what it is?
>>2087790
Aw nona! I'm sure you're not that bad, and receiving "hate" is rarely justified unless you were straight up an asshole to people on purpose. And even now, do you actually feel awkward acting those ways or do you now just know that others may feel it around you?

Anonymous 07/13/24 (Sat) 08:03:21 PM No. 2087824

File: 1720901001208.jpg (44.62 KB, 736x736, 1000041735.jpg)

>>2087796
I mostly feel awkward /after/ whatever I said made things really, really awkward or after I do my usual debriefing of the day with myself, then I feel really awkward and try to cope thinking that it may have not been that bad.
It's so annoying, I'm quick to see patterns or react to many things (ie: catching something before it falls on the ground) I can make stories and characters out of the blue and make up nice names for characters/brands/places, I can make slogans easily and think of businesses.
But the moment I have to engage in a conversation I blurt out the most retarded shit or zone out and then blurt out retarded shit because I don't know what to say or I somehow forget an important answer to a question.
Make it stop, please.

Anonymous 07/13/24 (Sat) 09:41:03 PM No. 2087931

>>2087422
>I have been acutely aware of my awkwardness since I was around 10 years old.
I relate to you a lot. I think I first realized I was different age 8 or 9, but only around age 14 did I finally realize my own awkwardness. It's weird because it dawned on me so suddenly one day, that the things that I was doing were wrong or strange or awkward. I think that's when I first really concentrated on developing an adequate mask. It was like I was totally on autopilot until I was 14, only then did I take a step back in my own conscience and realize.
>>2087399
>I wanna ask a question to everyone related to this. Do you feel you are awkward?
I feel very awkward when I'm amongst a lot of others, like when I'm walking on the sidewalk for example I feel very very awkward just walking. It's weird but when I'm around a lot of other people, I want to try very hard to blend in so I'll always be thinking say "Am I walking right? Too fast? Too slow? How are others walking?" On certain streets people speed-walk down without looking up, and on other streets people casually stroll while looking around. I always try to match the general mood of the atmosphere around me, that I can perceive anyway. I feel like I somehow take up space weirdly or wrong when I'm out and about. When I'm in a closed off space with fewer people, I don't feel this same anxiety.

I don't feel awkward when I interact with others though, especially one on one. I read a lot of conversation skills and communication skills books when I was a teenager and young adult, and I really worked hard on because more extroverted and out-going. I'm proud of how well I can interact with others. Sometimes I get overwhelmed or miss a cue, or make the wrong expression, but I've gotten very good at 'masking' so to speak. Most people enjoy conversing with me and I don't mind talking with strangers (although if they approach me I take an extra second to register what's happening kek). I don't struggle much anymore with that dread of "oh am I me or is my mask me?" anymore because I prescribe to the crystallized self theory. I go to an adults with aspergers support group too, and it's good to talk with other spergs about stuff and relate with them.

Anonymous 07/14/24 (Sun) 12:29:05 AM No. 2088227

File: 1720916945779.jpeg (159.33 KB, 1125x1494, BF5943DC-B19F-4824-A064-05433C…)

More of a vent than anything but tonight made me realise how much my autism actually affects me socially. Got invited on a night out with a few coworkers and their friends, everything was going fine then I just get hit with a massive wave of over stimulation to the point where I had to straight up leave. Also to mention we were drinking and the other issue with this is that I don’t want to rely on alcohol to help me socially so I set a strict 3 drink only rule which I stuck to. This is becoming a more often occurrence and I’m not handling it well. I want to get close to people and do fun activities with them, but how can I do that when I can’t even be with them for more than a few hours without wanting to runaway back home and hide in my room. They have made it very clear that they like me and keep inviting me to things but I feel so guilty I can’t give them my all without wanting to run away and feeling like I’m gonna crawl out of my skin.

Anonymous 07/14/24 (Sun) 05:09:33 AM No. 2089044

Seeing moids on TikTok whine about their empathy for the autistic boy who would get asked out as a joke by the popular girls in high school makes me laugh because this literally never happens kek. I know plenty of autistic girls myself included who were hit on and sexually harassed by the popular boys. It's the other way around

Anonymous 07/14/24 (Sun) 06:57:35 AM No. 2089195

>>2088227
Would it be feasible to explain your sensory issues to them? I had the same problem with people in college who only ever wanted to hang out in the context of clubs/parties/noisy pubs and like you, I just can’t function in those environments for long. Back then they thought I was just making excuses but I feel like nowadays there’s so much more awareness of sensory difficulties and overstimulation that there’s a good chance your coworkers will understand.

>>2089044
Every girl I know would avoid the awkward weird boys like the plague because you never know how a boy like that will react when he thinks he has a chance with you. One of them stalked a girl for over a year after she was assigned to do a group project with him. I wouldn’t be surprised if this trope is just a self-victimising role reversal wish fulfilment fantasy in the same vein as when moids thought succubi would seduce them to steal their sperm. Everything men accuse us of is something they (want to) do to us.

Anonymous 07/14/24 (Sun) 07:41:10 PM No. 2089973

>>2088227
Like >>2089195 said, you could explain the sensory issues to them. My best excuse for this is that I'm "prone to migraines," and that when I'm in a loud place for too long I risk "having a migraine tomorrow morning." I find coming up with little white lies for these sorts of things easier than trying to dump my life and my issues onto others. If you still want to go out with them, research lounges in your area. Usually they're much quieter and have less going on, so they're my go-to since I can't do the whole loud club atmosphere.

Anonymous 07/14/24 (Sun) 08:14:32 PM No. 2090031

>>2089044
Girls bullied autistic girls, they avoided autistic boys because they were creeped out by them. Girls used to bait me into saying weird things or making the same gross jokes as them and then tell teachers that I was saying gross things to get me in trouble.

Anonymous 07/14/24 (Sun) 09:05:39 PM No. 2090094

>>2089044
Such bullshit. A lot of the moids in school would think it was funny to be like "haha my friend likes you" thinking I'd care enough to get a reaction out of me.

Anonymous 07/14/24 (Sun) 09:59:48 PM No. 2090149

>>2089044
>Seeing moids on TikTok whine about their empathy for the autistic boy who would get asked out as a joke by the popular girls in high school makes me laugh because this literally never happens kek.
Yeah, I'm convinced this has never happened at any time in any place on earth. It's a made up mean girl trope, real girls avoid weird guys because they're a potential threat. And if they really are popular they're usually not an asshole because then people would dislike them.
And if they for some reason are both mean AND popular they still would be risking losing their social status by asking the weirdo out, and they'd potentially be stuck with him at their heels all day. Even us autist females know that! If anything all it would do is start rumors that she's so slutty she even tried to get with the weird guy.
And if she was so autistic that she didn't know that… let's just say she wouldn't be the popular one kek

Anonymous 07/15/24 (Mon) 01:01:37 AM No. 2090380

>>2089044
senior moids in high school would grope and harass me because i was too retarded and clueless about what they were doing to potentially report them.

Anonymous 07/15/24 (Mon) 11:00:33 AM No. 2091030

Kind of a vent I guess, I just watched a youtube video of an artist who goes to artist alley to sell her stuff, she said she suffers from "extreme anxiety, OCD, and suffer from a lot of panic attacks. Especially around crowds." While she didn't specifically say autism nor adhd since she said OCD I feel like it was at least adjacent and she seems the same as other "fakers" online.
It just baffles me that someone can say they suffer from these many debilitating conditions and they still conclude "but it's a lot of fun so I go anyway" and they're somehow magically perfectly fine every time. And if they're on the odd occasion not fine, it's always somehow conveniently at a point they're alone and no one was around to watch their alleged "panic attack" happen. Even though they were at a 10.000 people minimum event, in a crammed space.

But even if (big IF) they're honest about having all those seriously debilitating conditions then I find it idiotic to invest so much time, money and energy into something that harms you and gives you panic attacks. It's clearly not sustainable in the long run, barely even in the short run either. It's like choosing to work in a peanut chocolate factory when you're allergic to peanuts.

Anonymous 07/15/24 (Mon) 02:13:57 PM No. 2091141

>>2091030
I hate it but I hear 'extreme anxiety' or 'severe social anxiety' now and I go.. k lets see what wild things this brave soldier has been up to. Amazing how they manage to live fuller and more social/crowd filled lives than most disorder free people do but can never downgrade to saying their anxiety is just the boring regular type. Always stays extreme even when it's not limiting them. And when that isn't enough they look for a new disorder that again will never interfere with their functioning but they'll have the extreme type of that too. Tbh relates to autism in that tism tends to be the next box to tick on the list.

Anonymous 07/16/24 (Tue) 01:23:00 AM No. 2092150

>>2090031
Wrong I got in trouble for bullying an autistic boy in school

Anonymous 07/16/24 (Tue) 07:32:41 AM No. 2092548

I wish aspergers wasnt a dirty word now because normies dont fucking care to differentiate between autistic people that need a work coach and who moan loudly and flap their and autistic people who are basically the same as them/neurotypical peoples but just can't communicate/operate in the same dumbass normie way they can

Anonymous 07/16/24 (Tue) 09:01:01 AM No. 2092588

>>2092548
I still use it, every aspie i know irl also still use it. If they've got a problem with it they can all eat my ass(pergers) kek

>>2091141
>Amazing how they manage to live fuller and more social/crowd filled lives than most disorder free people do but can never downgrade to saying their anxiety is just the boring regular type.
Yeah like, they clearly just do not suffer from an extreme anxiety disorder like they always claim. Me at my worst socially anxious phase as an awkward teen had trouble even leaving the house, I ended up sobbing on the floor instead. I wouldn't even have called that extreme, nor would I have classified it as a disorder because I was literally in the middle of being a hormonal insecure teen. I had anxiety those days, that's it.

Anonymous 07/16/24 (Tue) 09:00:25 PM No. 2093231

I love how normie moids are now fetishising autistic women because we're apparently needy toddlers who occasionally say pogchamp or something. One second with me and they'll realise I'm actually just retarded.

Anonymous 07/18/24 (Thu) 02:29:24 AM No. 2094764

>>2093231
I remember when that video of an autistic young woman ordering room service went viral not too long ago and the comments were full of men fetishizing her "innocence" and "childlike" demeanor and how "cute" that supposedly is… I know scrotes gonna scrote but it's extra disturbing. Being infantilized is bad enough but then sexualizing it on top of that is just ew. Now they want autistic women because they think we have innocent little girl minds but in adult bodies that they can fuck uggggh.

Anonymous 07/18/24 (Thu) 03:02:25 AM No. 2094803

>>2094764
>>2093231
And this explains autistic women experience domestic violence at higher rates to non-autistic women.

Anonymous 07/18/24 (Thu) 03:56:54 AM No. 2094839

>>2093231
No self-hate, but most moids get turned the fuck off whenever I start showing shit like repetitive cringe humor or adherence to routine and it's hilarious. They want a gf who games and says pogchamp until I start yooming or some shit. I'm not a baby, I'm just a retard

Anonymous 07/18/24 (Thu) 07:01:42 PM No. 2095577

i don’t know how anyone could enjoy being autistic. not to be dramatic but i wish i was normal. i just don’t understand how normies do it all so easily, by “all” i mean dealing with people. it’s so stressful to me when i think i’m masking when in fact everyone can see through it and they know me for what i am or at least they know i’m other

Anonymous 07/18/24 (Thu) 11:36:56 PM No. 2095904

I kind of feel personally attacked when people make fun of NLOGs because I literally am not like other girls, but that doesn’t mean I hate them. I don’t share anything in common with moids either, I’m NLOH (not like other humans)

Anonymous 07/18/24 (Thu) 11:59:22 PM No. 2095920

>>2095577
feel the same

Anonymous 07/19/24 (Fri) 12:24:28 AM No. 2095940

>>2095577
Same. I hate how I take things literally and need people to be super direct with me. I feel like I “missed the memo” and I’m lacking whatever mind-reading superpower everyone else has. I used to cry a lot when I was a kid because my mom would to get mad at me and say that I was “more like a boy” because I’m so unaware of my surroundings and other people’s emotions. Whereas to me, it just feels like people aren’t saying what they mean! How am I supposed to know the difference! It’s confusing as fuck.
Like
Person: I’m FINE!
>Oh okay they said they’re fine, nothing to worry about
>goes on with my day
>okay they’re acting like they’re mad at me?
>does not compute??
It always leads to arguments and me getting frustrated and feeling retarded for not “getting it” and the other person remaining mad at me and thinking I’m being an asshole. it’s not fun or quirky at all and I just wish I knew what it was like to be normal and just be able to “read the room”.

Anonymous 07/19/24 (Fri) 01:21:26 AM No. 2095966

>>2095577
The only people I ever see claiming that it's a blessing/superpower/whatever are parents of autistic children (never the child themselves), and self-diagnosed people who don't actually have autism. Anyone who actually has autism knows that it involves a lot of suffering.

Anonymous 07/19/24 (Fri) 01:29:59 AM No. 2095968

>>2095904
Don't let it get to you, it's just this decade's "annoying bitch".

Anonymous 07/19/24 (Fri) 03:24:57 PM No. 2096345

Thinking of the time when I was around 16 and thought I had HPD because one of the symptoms was "thinking relationships are closer than they actually are" kek

Anonymous 07/21/24 (Sun) 09:49:10 AM No. 2098096

After five years and hundreds of unsuccessful job applications I finally discovered that I’m eligible for help from the municipality (no NEETbux, but like a job coach and stuff) and I’m already dreading the reaction from all the people I know who have a friend of a friend whose nephew is autistic telling me what a scumbag I am for taking resources away from people who really need it etcetera. I hate being in this weird limbo where I’m too autistic to fit into normal society but not autistic enough to be deemed deserving of aid. God I hope this is going to actually be useful and not some bullshit confidence-boosting assertiveness training. I don’t need to be told to believe in myself and I don’t want to take anything away from anyone else, I just want a job and to be able to put my degree to use.

Anonymous 07/21/24 (Sun) 01:52:40 PM No. 2098239

>>2096345
Kek I thought I was borderline because I couldn't make friends at school and cried a lot when I was fifteen

Anonymous 07/21/24 (Sun) 04:38:52 PM No. 2098389

File: 1721579932818.jpeg (1.06 MB, 1078x2074, 58F93500-B866-46DC-9D06-3D31BB…)

So fucking tired of not being able to get my meds and just having to scrape by at school. I know I am capable of so much better, I know I keep making stupid, small mistakes. I know all of this. But the propensity to fuck up and shit the bed is literally in my nature. I cannot overcome it on my own.

Anonymous 07/22/24 (Mon) 08:58:23 AM No. 2099515

>>2098096
You don't need to tell anyone that you're entitled to that help though. Don't work yourself up over it, just keep quiet and say you're still applying for jobs if they ask.

Anonymous 07/22/24 (Mon) 09:42:25 AM No. 2099554

i'm really struggling in a new place. i've been going back to bad habits since i moved here, because i don't have any friends or family. i'm not posting to ask for advice, but just to vent. i've joined all of the groups where i live now but it seems impossible to make friends. i am so isolated and lonely. i miss all of my ADHD/autistic friends from my home state. i miss not feeling judged for how fucking retarded my brain is, my brain process is, my work style is. i've been trying for months to see a therapist but the wait list is so long and i've gotten to the point where i'm wondering WHY am i the one who needs to change how i think or act just to fit into some corporate job? if i can do it via my own style i don't want to keep masking who i actually am just to 'fit in'. i'm so tired and have been close to just pulling a 'the awakening' ending lol (i won't so please don't report this, i again just need to vent).

Anonymous 07/22/24 (Mon) 02:22:43 PM No. 2099789

>>2098096
>I’m already dreading the reaction from all the people I know who have a friend of a friend whose nephew is autistic telling me what a scumbag I am for taking resources away from people who really need it etcetera.
Don't tell them, however you've been making it so far (living with family or whatever idk) just pretend like that's still the deal. And if you are still looking for a job when people ask what you do for a living you can still say "I'm actually looking for a job with no luck so far" because it's literally the truth!

Anonymous 07/22/24 (Mon) 02:39:14 PM No. 2099821

>>2098389
>I cannot overcome it on my own.
Not to be all "just beleev in urself uwu" but if you truly believe that you can't do something, it becomes reality no matter if it was actually true or not to begin with. I'm speaking from experience, I used to be 100% sure there were things I couldn't and wouldn't ever be able to do on my own. And now I do them on my own. It wasn't really about "believing in myself" as normies would constantly try to tell me, it was more just… accepting that trying and failing is ok. That half-assing things means I can half-ass the other half later and then I actually did the full thing in the end. That just because it's not "perfect" to my own standards or not done the conventional way doesn't mean it's not good enough or done at all. I also thought it would be impossible for me to ever live without anti-depressants, that "my brain chemistry is just too fucked up and not working like in a normal person" and now I'm meds free, have less anxiety and feel happier and more stable than ever before in my entire life. I was utterly convinced that couldn't happen - I KNEW that it would never happen. Yet now here I am.
I was thinking about how you said
>I know I keep making stupid, small mistakes. I know all of this. But the propensity to fuck up and shit the bed is literally in my nature.
All this tells me is you have a lot of self-hatred. You call yourself stupid and someone who fucks up - over what you yourself admit are both small and mistakes.

Anonymous 07/22/24 (Mon) 11:29:49 PM No. 2100721

File: 1721690989040.jpeg (36.35 KB, 479x568, 75ACAABE-14EB-4393-85ED-FEC57F…)

anyone else have autism but absolutely hate schedules? i unironically have nightmares about schedules.

Anonymous 07/23/24 (Tue) 02:05:57 AM No. 2100856

>>2100721
I love flexible schedules but super rigid ones give me anxiety. Like "you need to spend exactly 45 minutes doing xyz, not a minute more or less"… that's so anxiety inducing.

Anonymous 07/23/24 (Tue) 03:10:02 AM No. 2100902

>>2100856
>>2100856
i can't function unmedicated unless i have a structured schedule. you might hate it, but you probably won't succeed or have a good life unless you do as well lol

Anonymous 07/23/24 (Tue) 11:47:19 AM No. 2101187

>>2100721
I love knowing exactly what to do, especially if it's fun. Like imagine a fun summer camp schedule, that has me going "heck yeah" because I know all of these fun things are coming up, I don't have to plan anything by myself, I know I won't accidentally miss anything, I know where I'll be and when etc love that.

But having even 1 "scary" thing on my schedule ruins my whole week. I was a chubby kid who hated both sports and my own body (being naked in front of other people gave me anxiety) so gym class felt like this big impending doom every week. For me the best day of the week wasn't the weekends, it was the day after gym class so I knew the next gym class was as far away as it could possibly be.

Anonymous 07/23/24 (Tue) 12:13:47 PM No. 2101229

>>2100902
I have autism, not ADHD. I can concentrate on things just fine w/o meds or a rigid schedule.

Anonymous 07/23/24 (Tue) 01:06:42 PM No. 2101268

Does anyone else have the hyperactivity part of ADHD extra hard? It didn’t manifest as obnoxious behavior when I was little bc I’m not a scrote, I just dissociated tons and read books under my desk and only tuned in to subjects and later classes I liked. When it came time for PE class tho, from grade to high school, I was all in. I was one of the kids who gave 110% kek. Even when I was emo as fuck as a teen, I couldn’t resist the siren call of getting my yayas out as my mom calls it. I don’t medicate now after being on meds from 18-27, and instead I use sets of exercises or full on cardio to keep myself in check. My worst days are days I don’t do any vigorous physical activity so I almost always at least do a few hundred crunches and prob 100~ squats even on non-gym days. It also helps give me that dopamine hit the stupid adhd makes me feel like I need so much kek

Anonymous 07/23/24 (Tue) 07:27:29 PM No. 2101859

I was on adderall for 7-8 years. I was taken off of them 2 months ago. I quit cold turkey because my psychiatrist decided to take me of them suddenly, and I was worried weaning off would be impossible. Now I have a sore throat, I have constant fatigue and brain fog to the point where I think I'm having a tumor. Is this normal? Is this what being unmedicated is like? I hate this feeling. I start school next month and I cannot take this.

Anonymous 07/23/24 (Tue) 07:48:14 PM No. 2101872

>>2095940
for me what has helped is paying attention to inflection and tone with regards to statements like “i’m fine”. if i’m really confused though i try to ask about things roughly analogous to whatever the issue may be

Anonymous 07/23/24 (Tue) 08:20:12 PM No. 2101908

>>2100721
I cannot fucking do schedules for the life of me, so I think the "schedules" part of autism just means normalcy to me, because I really don't like change. This makes building habits difficult and quitting bad habits hard also. The way I've done schedules in my adult life is "today I will do x y and z" and leave it up to the wind and it's far more effective in getting me to do things because my discipline absolutely sucks and me setting a time to do something will not work and has never worked.

I take something I need to do at whichever time of day is most convenient and I set a timer of 1 to 2 hours. But I don't really like doing things this way. I want so badly to build schedules organically and be more disciplined, but I just cannot hold myself accountable. It's sooo irritating so if any anon has some advice I'd love to listen
>>2101859
I haven't been on stimulants nearly as long as you but I'm surprised you're having withdrawals, I can quit cold turkey whenever and be fine. You might just not be used to your "normal" unmedicated energy levels. Power through it anon, you'll get used to it. Though it isn't something I've experienced personally, I've heard some anecdotes about quitting and having a harsh time adjusting. You have a month, so I have faith in you. Try to relax because stress will make things worse. And by relax I mean generally try to do relaxing things, massages, swimming, etc. Taking your mind off of the uncomfortable sensation might be better for you.

Anonymous 07/23/24 (Tue) 09:10:28 PM No. 2101952

>>2101908
Thank you so much nonna. I got adderall at 14 and now I'm 21, and before 14, life seemed like a blur, so I can't remember what I was really like unmedicated.. I noticed that my breathing is difficult too, I went to the airport the other day and my throat started swelling up and I felt like I couldn't breathe, though that and this brain fog/fatigue might be air pollution. I think it's due to moving to a polluted city, but I'm going to get an MRI scan and a full body panel this month, so that will take a lot off me. I'm trying to relax and draw, though it's difficult sometimes. I hope this is not something serious.

Anonymous 07/23/24 (Tue) 09:46:01 PM No. 2101985

>>2101859
>Is this normal? Is this what being unmedicated is like?
Yes, but no. After YEARS on a drug it's gonna take a long while to adjust. In general the longer you were on them, the longer the adjustment back will take. I wasn't on adderall but I'd say getting off my anti-depressants and axiety meds took at least half a year to feel "normal". They had told me "it takes a few weeks" but that was clearly not the case so I nearly gave up. Honestly at that point the only reason I didn't go back on them was that the doctor was such a fucking condescending cunt that I didn't want to have to talk to her ever again kek
I believe in you nona, it might sound silly but make sure the next month you do your utmost to relax and take care of yourself in all ways possible! Don't skip meals, make sure they're healthy too - forgive yourself for mistakes, relax as much as you can, take at least one walk outside every single day (in daylight). It will be ok!

Anonymous 07/23/24 (Tue) 10:15:55 PM No. 2102019

Hope this doesn't offend anyone, but one of the best reasons for a sperg like me to befriend other autists is for "inspiration" to not become like them. It genuinely motivates me because it's so easy to see that their lives would be 50 times better and they'd suffer so much less of they just did some tiny charges in their life. It's made me realize that I can make the appropriate tiny changes for myself and have a better life. And if I feel lazy I look at how awful the trajectory of their lives look and it motives me to stay on track so I don't end up like them. I feel a bit bad for thinking that way tho so I'd never tell them. But then again they complain 24/7 about how bad their lives are so I don't think they'd disagree.

Anonymous 07/24/24 (Wed) 02:37:34 AM No. 2102317

>>2100721
Yes yes yes yes yes. Hate schedules, hate routines, hate timers. I think it's due to my huge problems with demand avoidance.

Anonymous 07/24/24 (Wed) 02:40:07 AM No. 2102320

>>2101985
Thank you so much. This alleviates so much of my anxieties. I’m getting a bunch of health check ups too just in case, so that will alleviate my anxieties. I’m moving out this polluted city too, so that’ll probably help too. Hope you’re having a good day.

Anonymous 07/24/24 (Wed) 11:53:27 AM No. 2102675

File: 1721822007062.jpeg (50.81 KB, 1024x261, 1721792814195.jpeg)

found this in another thread and it made me smile

Anonymous 07/24/24 (Wed) 06:51:21 PM No. 2103176

>>2102675
I find these posts cringey and unfunny

Anonymous 07/24/24 (Wed) 09:51:42 PM No. 2103364

>>2102675
Made me smile too kek my friends and I are always being silly like that with each too.
>>2102320
I think health checks are always wise if you can get them done. Wishing you the best of look nona!

Anonymous 07/24/24 (Wed) 11:01:34 PM No. 2103411

>>2102317
are you a fellow PDAer? I hate the name for it honestly

Anonymous 07/25/24 (Thu) 12:14:28 AM No. 2103477

>>2103411
Yeah it seems very likely. I cried when I found out what PDA was, because how do you explain that having to piss makes you angry without sounding like a drooling retard? Except apparently, it's a real thing.

Although not enough of a thing that psychologists or therapists or even the people themselves have any actual useful management strategies kek. Do you have any? Mostly I have to pretend to myself that I'm not actually doing the thing I need to do, or I work myself into enough of a panic that adrenaline helps force it, although both are exhausting.

Ideally I would like to find some sort of therapy or exercise that helps me reduce demand avoidance symptoms over time.

>>2101187
>>2101229
Amazing, my brain drags me screaming in the other direction of even fun things I want to do. It's like driving with a handbrake on the whole time.

Anonymous 07/26/24 (Fri) 05:53:42 AM No. 2105282

ADHD-er here.
Anyone have a family who refuse to acknowledge your neurodivergence and judge your behaviour by NT standards?

Anonymous 07/26/24 (Fri) 06:34:21 AM No. 2105317

>>2105282
My parents literally told me to go fuck myself when i told them i have autism and refuse to learn what adhd is. My dad admitted to me he always knew i had autism, but insisted that autism goes away when you are an adult because apparently it happened to my uncle, even though whatever he had going on was 100% not autism and just some kind of delay that he was able to get over. They are confused why as an adult i never have any friends, can't talk to people or really look them in the eye and why i was non-verbal as a child, but refused to do anything about it, but also insist that i should stop taking depression medication because they make you sleep when that's not the case. My parents are very stupid, ignorant and arrogant people who can't be relied on for any kind of support. I am not close with any other of my family members, so i am all alone with whatever struggles i have related to autism and adhd.

Anonymous 07/26/24 (Fri) 06:38:46 AM No. 2105323

>>2105317
samefag, but to answer you question, i am judged by NT standards for everything i do and because of it, most people do not like me and i make them extremely uncomfortable. I really wish i could live in isolation, but unfortunately i am forced to be a part of this world until i fight my survival instinct and finally kill myself. There's really no point in telling anyone you are autistic, nobody understands what it is and I can't explain because i have the bad anti-social version of autism that people despise, people want the whimsical autism where you talk too much, smile a lot and have special interests pertaining to rainbows and unicorns.

Anonymous 07/29/24 (Mon) 03:11:38 AM No. 2109543

Does anyone have this problem when facing some kind of issue you find a solution and then you go like "wow this solution works!" and use it for a while, let's say 2 weeks or so, and then… become desensitized to the solution and randomly forget about it?? And then have to deal with the issue all over again and stumble upon the same solution after struggling with the same issue you already solved for a couple of months again? This keeps happening to me and it's so infuriating, why do I keep forgetting? How can I remember this stuff? Help

Anonymous 07/29/24 (Mon) 04:55:06 AM No. 2109657

>>2102675
This is cool and cute and real

Anonymous 07/29/24 (Mon) 05:15:14 AM No. 2109665

File: 1722230114729.jpeg (26.24 KB, 601x510, 372BB7DA-E3C6-4AAA-AE3A-27A61B…)

>>2099821
I only just now saw this reply so sorry to reply late nonny.

I appreciate the kind words and advice but I do genuinely need meds to function. I inherited the same gene that has led to multiple generations of my family to kill themselves without treatment. The times I go off my meds it gets worse for me. And maybe one day I won’t need my adhd meds to function, but right now life circumstances are such that any little bit of help is a huge relief. I won’t get into it but I have had a really rough year and my meds genuinely make everything tolerable when I can get them. And yes I do have self-hatred but it’s because laughably small tasks are almost impossible for me to do on my own currently. It’s just another thing I have to deal with when I am literally at my limit already. I do appreciate the kind words and advice nona, I am just so unbelievably tired.

Anonymous 07/29/24 (Mon) 09:42:47 PM No. 2110436

>>2109543
I forget things if I don't do them regularly, so not exactly the same. However I have a habit of writing down solutions in Google docs which i highly recommend. Doesn’t matter how stupid the thing feels to write down, they're just for me anyway.
So for example, I forget how the laundry machine works. Idk why, it's just one of those things my brain goes brrrrr over even though I've had it explained to me multiple times. So I took actual pictures, and wrote down exactly what I need to know to do it. I also write down anything I think might confuse me if/when I've forgotten how to do it. Like "the on/off button is different than the start button. The top one is start."
So I have an easy step by step guide to follow when I need to use that machine.
I also make sure to write down a bunch of keywords that I can use to search it up again, like "washing, clothes, laundry, detergent, bleach, brandname".
Before I do my laundry I read the guide so when I go down to do it I look like I know what I'm doing even though five minutes ago I didn't remember anything about it kek
I use the same document for similar problems, I have 1 for work related things, and one for cleaning the house etc. It helps a lot!

Anonymous 07/29/24 (Mon) 09:49:27 PM No. 2110447

>>2109665
You're not them nona. It's good to be mindful of them taking their lives and how that reflects onto you but you're still a whole different person with different perspectives and possibilities.
It's easy to get lost in all the things you can't do, but try to focus on what you can do. If those people were ghosts I'm sure they'd all tell you they regret it and that they wished they had given themselves more time to figure things out, and that they hope you'll be able to have faith in yourself the way they couldn't do it for themselves. I hope you get your meds and are able to feel more confident soon nona.

Anonymous 07/30/24 (Tue) 09:42:52 PM No. 2112412

My autist meltdowns mingling with my bipolar phases and my PMDD like symptoms just make my panic and anxiety attacks uniquely worse. Today I ended up having one in my car over a minor inconvenience (I forgot my bank pin and the art supply store couldn't run my card without it) so I left my shit, went to my car and just broke for some reason

I've been having days especially when I'm alone where I get triggered and I just cry and cry and cry like a fucking child or let the tears endlessly stream down my face until I secrete every last one and I'm too fucking exhausted to continue. It's the worst.

Anonymous 07/30/24 (Tue) 10:11:22 PM No. 2112447

>>2109665
I'm the same as you, my frontal lobe is so fried that I literally can't function without medication.
If you're having problems with stimulants (either getting them, or like in my case you can't tolerate their side effects) you should look up amantadine and ask your doctor about it.
It is a non-stimulant medication that helps ADHD symptoms as well as anxiety/depression and its not controlled so its cheap and easily available.
Adderall would turn me into an emotionless zombie and give me shakes and anxiety but amantadine is about 90% as good as adderall but without any of the stimulant effects or anxiety

Anonymous 07/31/24 (Wed) 06:44:32 AM No. 2113277

Even after I got my ADHD diagnosis a couple months ago I kept doubting myself for some stupid reason and wondering if I was making up having ADHD until I started Adderall last week and it's calmed me down so I can actually do things now. It's been the single most validating thing beyond even my diagnosis. Did any nonas deal with invalidating themselves like this too?

Anonymous 08/01/24 (Thu) 09:18:27 AM No. 2114926

>>2113277
Not to be that person but Adderall helps everyone. It's a feel good drug. That's why it's so beneficial for college students and office workers alike.
>deal with invalidating themselves
Not as an attack on you but I think this is a silly mindset to have. I never understood what "valid" even was supposed to mean. How can you "invalidate" yourself? You can doubt yourself, and question yourself, but this is natural and normal and it's not a "bad" thing like how so many people view it as. It's normal to question things about your diagnoses and health. I think everyone should be less focused on "valid" and "invalid" and just focus on feeling what they're feeling and exploring their thoughts in a healthy way.

Anonymous 08/04/24 (Sun) 03:04:35 PM No. 2120962

Did any other autists struggle with making friends your own age? In elementary school I used to talk to kids a few grades lower because they would laugh at my immature humour, or the teachers talking about my life and sperging about whatever subject I was good at. Then in teenage years I couldn't bond or fit in with people my own age and found older adults much more accepting. Unfortunately this can also lead to easy grooming which thankfully I wasn't the victim of but it got close there. Even as an adult now in my 20s find people in their 40s and 50s more accepting and chill. I thought it was just zoomers being retarded but apparently it's autism to be unable to get along with your own age group

Anonymous 08/05/24 (Mon) 12:34:44 AM No. 2121563

I was diagnosed with ADD as a teen and used Ritalin in my late teens and early 20s. 30's now,I started using adderall over a 2 years ago but I was abusing it and mixing it with large amounts of Cannabis and alcohol. I developed tardive dyskinesia. Now i constantly make a grimace and grind my teeth involuntarily. It triggers migraines daily and I have to go to physical therapy. It may go away but it may be permanent. And it seems to be getting worse even after i discontinued using ADHD meds. Additionally,I now have audio and visual hallucinations and I never experienced those in my entire life, only severe depressive symptoms but never this. I fucked up my brain. I might actually be schitzo now, but the Dr is waiting to see if my nervous system regulates over the next few months on antidepressant before performing an official diagnostic assessment. Sometimes I cant believe my own thoughts and feel like someone is moderating my brain or that demons are constantly trying to Invade my brain. And i see demons or dream about them constantly. Laugh at my stupidity if you must, after all, I am the architect of my own prison. Mixing cannabis concentrate ("dabs", which is the most potent form) and adderol feels AMAZING….but DO NOT DO IT! IT IS NOT WORTH it.It is my life's biggest regret and some days are truly hellish. I'm now burdened with heavy shame for what I have done to myself.

Anonymous 08/05/24 (Mon) 05:17:11 AM No. 2121947

>>2120962
>immature humour
I had the opposite problem actually. Even as a kid I found stuff like poop jokes or people falling over painfully unfunny. Instead I would find intelligent "adult" humour funny, which none of my peers related to so in the end the result was similar to yours. I liked adults more than kids because they had more interesting things to say and while I never looked down on other kids I just found them more boring. Luckily this meant I wasn't too bothered about not making many friends, they were boring to me anyway kek

Anonymous 08/05/24 (Mon) 05:20:34 AM No. 2121958

>>2121563
Sorry you're going through that nona. I always get judged by normies for refusing any and all drugs because I don't know how they'll mixed with my brain or my meds. It's almost surprising how willing people are to watch you fuck yourself up and how little they care. Hope you get better and find some peace nona.

Anonymous 08/10/24 (Sat) 06:52:24 PM No. 2130091

Any other ADD nonnies for who medication doesn't do shit? I cannot explain the misery I felt realizing that I'll never have that moment where I take meds and can function. Maybe the mix of autism with it, is part of why. Honestly I'm just tired. I feel like I'll never function. I feel like a Flowers for Algernon situation, where I can function well enough to know what I'm lacking to reach what I want.

Anonymous 08/10/24 (Sat) 07:35:37 PM No. 2130136

>>2130091
Maybe ADD isn't your actual problem then. Perhaps you have some physical issue that gets ignore because everyone is hung up on it having to be from ADD/autism so they don't even care to look at any other possible cause

Anonymous 08/10/24 (Sat) 07:57:23 PM No. 2130159

>>2130136
The assessment was pretty certain. And no I didn't even bring it up myself, it was the psychologist, and she wasn't the first one that did either. Stuff like caffeine also doesn't work for me like others with ADD, as an example. While I don't think it's impossible it 's not actually ADD, I also have no real reason outside of medication to believe it isn't.

Anonymous 08/11/24 (Sun) 07:30:25 AM No. 2130637

>>2130159
>Stuff like caffeine also doesn't work for me like others with ADD
Not directed at you nona, but I don't fully get why this is an argument for ADHD/ADD tbh because caffeine also seemingly has no effect on me, and I'm "just" a high-functioning ASD. I've even been tested for ADHD (as part of the ASD evaluation) and didn't even come close to qualifying. I do not regularly drink anything with caffeine and I can still slam down a coffee and go straight to sleep so it's not like I've just built up resistance. Guessing it's just a genetic factor if you're affected by it or not. Plenty of people have never even tried coffee, so it may be really common to just not be that affected by it but people just don't know.

Anonymous 08/11/24 (Sun) 08:02:14 AM No. 2130644

>>2130159
Pardon me for theorizing, but if it was me I would definitely have looked at it like: If your ADD isn't treated by any known ADD specific medication, is it REALLY ADD as they claim it to be? Or is it something else entirely?

Some options would be
>it's ADD, but a different "variation" of it
Which in my personal humble opinion would then require a new diagnosis name. They could call it "type A" or "type B" and so on. I figure if there is a group that ONLY responds to medication 1, and one group that only responds to medication 2 you might as well separate and label the groups for faster medical care for everyone. If there are consistent patterns like that the root cause may be different despite the symptoms seemingly being the same.
>it's ADD but you have a unique genetic condition that prevents that specific medication from working
That sucks but people are different so it can happen. But nobody is truly that special so it's a bit odd if nothing works for you.
>it's ADD and the medication IS working as intended, but the rest of your life/style is preventing you from feeling like it works
Like if you regularly only get 3h of sleep each night, or only eat fast food, or accidentally regularly consume something you're unknowingly mildly allergic to, have untreated trauma, you're still gonna feel like shit all of the time.
>it's not ADD but something else entirely
For example, ADD/ADHD is supposedly a developmental disorder. But there are studies on late diagnosed adults who never had the symptoms as young kids but only got them as older teens/adults. The results showed that they likely instead just had brain damage from drinking at a certain age before their brains had finished developing. It was really fascinating, there was such a direct link between the two. They had to have gotten drunk around age (iirc) 13-14. If they were older, they instead consistently had other mental problems, though I can't remember all of them. Basically you could ask an adult what age they first got drunk at, and just by knowing that you could tell exactly what "disorder" they now had just based on that. Because the part of the brain that was developing at that time got fucked up from the alcohol. The scariest part was that it only took them getting properly drunk one single time for the damage to appear. I'm fucking sperging out now sorry kek
The point is, I'm sure in the same way there are non-ADD conditions that can mimic the symptoms of ADD, and if the root cause isn't the same then it is to be expected that the medication doesn't work.

Anonymous 08/11/24 (Sun) 08:19:22 AM No. 2130653

>>2130637
You're right and I didn't intend it that way. It's just something I saw often parroted.
>>2130644
I wouldn't mind looking into it but that'd be something years in the making because of both wait lists and knowing they'll just tell me to suck it up with what I have diagnosed kek. Anyway I don't drink so it's definitely not that.
I should mention that when I say the medication doesn't work for me, it's that before I can reach a dose that might have an effect, my body goes into overdrive because I basically don't handle stimulants well. They make me insanely anxious. I'd like to try non-stimulants but unfortunately my country is rather cagey regarding trying more then just the basics with medication.

Anonymous 08/18/24 (Sun) 08:32:45 PM No. 2142282

do any other autistic people here have any advice to deal with carsickness, its seriously crippling. i fucking hate living with this condition

Anonymous 08/18/24 (Sun) 08:59:59 PM No. 2142347

>>2121947
This reminds me of me as a kid kek. I think I was the only 8 year old around that would prefer to sit down and watch Golden Girls or Three's Company instead of cartoons. I was constantly being called "old soul" which I know understand is just a dressed up word for autism.

Anonymous 08/19/24 (Mon) 06:49:28 AM No. 2143094

>>2120962
I was never comfortable with kids younger than me but yeah, I also got along better with adults than other children. Whenever I attended another kid’s party I’d always ended up at the mom table and on school trips I’d hang around the teachers more than my classmates. Which, in hindsight, probably annoyed the hell out of all of them. Oops.
And yeah, it’s the same even in adulthood. I even get on better with some middle aged men (decently behaved ones of course) than women my own age and I hate it. It just feels like women my age judge me really harshly and can kind of smell the autism on me so they shun me before I even open my mouth, whereas older men and elderly ladies are just happy to have someone to talk to, especially because we tend to have more interests in common. I’m into a lot of “grandma hobbies” and was raised mostly by my dad and picked up a lot of his interests. Or maybe middle aged men are just nice to me because I’m a conventionally attractive young woman. It’s probably that, even though they don’t overtly hit on me. Fuck.

>>2142282
Are you the driver or a passenger? The only thing that helps me is to stare out the window, particularly the front window, and completely ignore anything going on inside of the car. Even rummaging through my bag for a few seconds makes me dizzy so I make sure I have everything I need in my lap and other people in the car know not to talk to me, or at least not to expect a response.

Anonymous 08/19/24 (Mon) 07:40:26 AM No. 2143124

>>2142282
I'm sure it's things you know already but
>stare at the horizon
>do not look down on a phone or whatever
>think to yourself "I am in a car that is moving" so you're mentally aware of the movement going on. Really internalize what is happening as the sickness can come from your brain's confusion of feeling movement while being "still"
>rock from side to side or back and forth to create movement to trick your brain into thinking that is the movement
>make sure you're not on an empty stomach but also not stuffed

Anonymous 08/19/24 (Mon) 08:55:26 AM No. 2143191

Has anyone noticed that ADHD is the new mental illness to hate on? It used to be autism and i think the next one will be BPD or something.

Anonymous 08/19/24 (Mon) 09:00:20 AM No. 2143193

>>2143191
I hope the next one is BPD. I'm sick and tired of all these "stop bpd stigma uwu we can't control our splitting abusive behaviors uwu" and "beautiful princess disorder" trends.
ADHD I can kind of get, I clash with other adhders myself and some of the points they have about adhd aren't invalid

Anonymous 08/19/24 (Mon) 09:03:50 AM No. 2143203

>>2142282
There's anti carsickness pills you can get. They work for me.

Anonymous 08/19/24 (Mon) 09:13:21 AM No. 2143213

>>2143193
>some of the points they have about adhd aren't invalid
It gets annoying when im watching some youtube video and they make a retarded comment about a mental illness that they have no experience with. It's always moids who do this for some reason

Anonymous 08/20/24 (Tue) 03:37:54 PM No. 2145148

Adhd fucking sucks. I’m in a long-term relationship with my moid but have been hyperfixating on another moid at my work for 3 months now. My brain will go to stuff like fucking him, even when I’m fucking my bf. It’s so over for me

Anonymous 08/20/24 (Tue) 05:25:42 PM No. 2145316

File: 1724174742192.jpeg (182 KB, 710x960, IMG_4521.jpeg)

Nonnas, I recently started taking medikinet for my adhd, and I feel like I’m going nuts because everyone’s talking about loss of appetite but I’ve never been hungrier. Not even antidepressants made me this hungry. What the hell, is this normal?

Anonymous 08/20/24 (Tue) 05:56:20 PM No. 2145345

>>2145148
Not trying to be mean but I don't think being attracted to people is a sign of ADHD. I don't get when ADHD people say everything is ADHD. Maybe you're just attracted to that scrote at work?

Anonymous 08/20/24 (Tue) 07:13:52 PM No. 2145465

>>2145345
There’s a good amount of evidence of hyperfixation on people, but honestly I don’t think I am attracted to him it’s just my fucking disorderly brain unable to think about anything else and spiraling even when I have 0 true desire for him

Anonymous 08/21/24 (Wed) 02:45:57 AM No. 2146544

>>2145148
That doesn't sound like ADHD. That's either OCD or one of personality disorders where they have the compulsion to cheat, like BPD.

Anonymous 08/21/24 (Wed) 03:04:33 AM No. 2146607

>>2146544
Little column A, little column B

Anonymous 08/21/24 (Wed) 07:51:07 AM No. 2146967

>>2143191
Must be regional, I never ever heard autism used as an insult (still don't) but adhd was a common insult/joke in the playground

Anonymous 08/21/24 (Wed) 08:44:07 PM No. 2147657

>>2146967
That’s interesting. Where I live autism is used as a synonym for retard and ADHD means quirky.

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 02:39:16 AM No. 2148084

Thoughts on the increasing amount of middle aged women IDing as ASD

https://www.thecut.com/article/mary-hk-choi-adult-autism-diagnosis.html

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 03:42:43 AM No. 2148160

File: 1724298163128.jpg (175.47 KB, 828x957, scrunch.jpg)

No one besides my parents, my boss, and my best friend knows about my autism diagnosis, because I'm terrified of being lumped in with all the fakers treating autism like a fashion fashion statement. I'd rather people think I'm a bitch than have them think I'm a munchie. Also, whenever people say "neurospicy" I feel a million times more insulted than I do when they say "retarded."

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 03:45:04 AM No. 2148164

>>2148084
If it's recently formally diagnosed by doctors, it's probably just because they were misdiagnosed as kids. HF AS girls were often misdiagnosed with OCD or BPD, especially in the late 90s and early 2000s.

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 07:00:44 AM No. 2148299

>>2148084
It has only been seriously considered as a diagnosis for girls for a very short time and it’s not like the condition itself only sprung into existence 30 years go, so it makes sense that, with increased awareness, more older women are getting diagnosed now. Like the other anon said, many of these women were probably misdiagnosed with other conditions (or simply deemed ‘difficult’) when they were younger.
I’m a textbook sperg who’s been seeing mental health professionals since I was like 8 but it wasn’t until I was 20 that anyone even considered testing me for Asperger’s, and that was only a decade ago. It simply didn’t occur to them because they still subconsciously thought of it as something only boys could have. It doesn’t surprise me if women who were overlooked decades ago are getting diagnosed now.
In hindsight my grandmother pretty obviously had some form of ASD. She had tranquillizers shoved at her by doctors and was regularly visited by the local nuns to “counsel” her on how to be a better wife and mother. That’s how it was dealt with in those days. Family members will discuss male historical figures who “probably had autism” like Newton and Einstein but won’t even consider that their own mom/grandma had it because the idea of a woman with autism, especially an older woman with autism, is still unthinkable to most people.

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 07:19:16 AM No. 2148304

>>2148084
This is probably an unpopular opinion, but in my experience the majority of them are barely over the threshold for diagnosis and are clinging to an identity that offers an easy explanation for all their problems and makes it possible for them to demand others accomodate them instead of trying to fix their social anxiety (which is usually their only symptom, anyway). As someone who was diagnosed as a child and went through the hell of neuropsychiatry and bullshit therapies, it's painful how little I can relate to their issues.

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 03:52:59 PM No. 2148640

I am extremely shit at small talk and even normal conversations with people I don’t know. Often when someone says something to me I automatically reply with something noncommittal or aloof because my brain just short circuits and wants the conversation to end as quickly as possible. Then half an hour later I come up with five different replies that would be the normal, expected or interesting thing to say and I repeat the conversation in my head with normal human responses like I’m writing an AU fanfic where I’m not retarded and can actually talk to people.
On the rare occasion that my brain doesn’t short circuit and try to shut down the conversation, the only replies it supplies in the moment are jokes or obscure references. I’ve had so many conversations where someone says something normal, I reply with a joke and they look at me like I’ve grown a second head because due to my dry affect they can’t tell that I’m joking. I’m pretty sure a few of my old coworkers actually thought I was nuts.

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 03:58:59 PM No. 2148646

BPDchan here suspecting autism. I’ll spare you all the blogpost and ask the one question I haven’t really seen talked about; how do you anons handle rejection? I feel like the rejection aspect of BPD is the hallmark of all my social problems, but after reading about how people with autism tend to get very frustrated when they feel misunderstood or if they’re being accused of misunderstanding someone, I’m starting to think that might be more my case. Previously I assigned my fear of rejection to the trauma of being raised by parents who treated me as if they rejected me as their child.

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 04:13:55 PM No. 2148665

does anybody elses family literally never acknowledge their autism and deny it whenever you bring it up
and for clarification, i was diagnosed when i was 14. i feel like my family is just ashamed to have their only kid have a developmental disorder so they try to pretend it doesnt exist and it really hurts me

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 04:17:05 PM No. 2148668

>>2022269
I love how I look at this thread and the replies are all like six paragraphs long

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 06:04:37 PM No. 2148796

>>2148084
I'm sure some of them are correctly diagnosed, but I also don't think age stops people from falling from social media pressure and using it as an explanation for whatever issues they may think they have. I'm of the belief that many "popular" conditions, including ASD, are being over-diagnosed and I don't think that excludes older women.
>>2148304
Can't help but agree. I think I'm barely over the threshold myself and question my own diagnosis, so when I see people more functioning than me it really seems like there wasn't even a point in diagnosing them. Most of the time it kinda seems like they just have late on-set NLOGism from having spent too much time online.

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 06:10:06 PM No. 2148802

>>2148665
My older sibling has more obvious autism, so when I as the "normal" one several years later got diagnosed with it too it kinda felt like they assumed I was just copying my sibling because I wanted to be like them, which I guess is normal for younger siblings to do. Whenever they talked about autism it would be in relation to my sibling and not at all about me. To this day I'm a bit afraid or embarrassed to bring it up because it feels like they still see me as a "faker".

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 07:27:58 PM No. 2148890

Anyone else tend to laugh at peoples’ mistakes in front of them because you think laughing it off will make them feel better, when in reality it makes you just look like an asshole?

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 07:31:16 PM No. 2148894

is there a way to actually improve your enjoyment of conversations? i can talk to people okay (i don't respond negatively when they talk to me first, i react to what they're saying in what i think is a pretty normal way, i try to make sure my facial expressions look right, i am friendly and encouraging) but i feel literally nothing when i do it other than "someone's talking to you, you'd better make sure they don't stop". i never really talk about my own interests or life (i learned quickly as a teen that sperging about whatever i'm into isnt received well, so now i kinda feel weird talking about ANYthing personal because it's something i'm not "supposed" to do) and every response i give is just my shitty brain working on autopilot while i absorb and contribute literally nothing to the conversation. i feel like if i could slow down and allow myself time to think, i might be able to come up with something more substantial to say that would allow me to get something about of talking to other people (and break me out of my auto-responses), but i'm never able to stop myself from giving non-responses that only extend the other person's talking time. i also have trouble with starting conversations for the same reason: most social relationships ive had come from someone forced to be around me for a while who eventually starts talking to fill the silence. it's not that i'm nervous to talk to people: it just does not ever occur to me to talk to someone on my own. i don't feel social anxiety but rather complete blankness until hours or days later (where i will realize i didn't actually SAY anything and feel weird about it). i also never have anything to say to begin with- even when i try to think of something i come up with nothing. i think this kind of thing is really impeding my ability to make friends because what will happen is that a coworker or classmate will have told me their entire life story name of their first grade teacher relationship problems etc and they won't even know my last name because all of our conversations are just me encouraging THEM to talk more. i feel like it makes me come across as really boring or uncaring but i DO have lots of hobbies and interests and thoughts, it just won't ever occur to me to share them. i just blank and default to stock responses and my learned "this is what a normal person looks like" body language unless it's a very close friend of many years whose conversational patterns and interests i have memorized (still have no idea how i made friends to begin with). it makes me feel like i'm just pretending to be a person when i wasn't meant to interact with anyone. is there an actual way to practice contributing to conversations? most therapists i've seen just tell me to do things i already do ("ask people about themselves and be nice!!!1!") or tell me there isn't a problem because they don't understand what my actual issue is (i can pretend to be normal for a few minutes, which seems to be the standard i'm supposed to reach, but it can never last and i can't really form actual connections that way). i used to think i was okay with not having many friends, but my only friend moved to the other side of the country for work, we grew apart because texting sucks, and i never realized how much i relied on having that relationship until i was talking to nobody at all for months on end
>>2148640 i have experienced what you describe exactly, reading your post is like reading something i could've written

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 07:53:36 PM No. 2148917

>>2148802
im sorry, you should be seen as your own person

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 08:07:41 PM No. 2148952

>>2148894
You need to seriously start reading conversation guide books and social how-tos from autistic authors. It will help you immensely. There are a lot of things autists don't pick up on, even though we think we do. For example, I learned in the books that when someone shares something deep/personal about themselves, usually you're supposed to share something equally as deep/personal about yourself back to them. I could go on a whole sperg about it, but really those self-help books tell it all way better than I could.

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 08:13:44 PM No. 2148969

What are symptoms of autism that don't overlap with ADHD? I was diagnosed with ADHD but how do you know if you have autism too?

Anonymous 08/22/24 (Thu) 08:26:33 PM No. 2149000

>>2148646 I feel like BPDchans fear rejection because they constantly seek the validation that people around them don't hate them but with autists they get rejected so often they don't bother even trying anymore and socially withdraw, atleast in my case.

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 03:12:33 AM No. 2149590

>>2148646
It definitely hurt when I was a little kid and no one wanted to be my friend or enjoyed having me around. But as the years went on, I became so used to it that I stopped feeling anything about it. From teens onward I've simply expected it. It would be much more shocking for people to accept and like me than to dislike me.

I don't think someone with BPD would also have autism btw. Just my opinion. BPDs desperately crave attention and validation, and engage in risky attention-seeking behaviors. Autists are the opposite.

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 03:56:22 AM No. 2149623

>>2148646
I don't really understand much about psychology and shit, but I know that as I child and as a teen I would cry a lot, then at some point during my 16 to 17 years old I stopped caring and decided to just never create a deep bond with anyone ever again.
To the point that during my last year of high-school, literally around the last week of school, some friends I used to have were like
>now that I think about it… we know nothing about you
And then I noticed that I never talk about anything of myself.
And even nowadays, I managed to stop closing off so much, I still can only handle having one friend at a time, and I still have a hard time sharing anything about myself, but at least I can share my favorite stuff unfiltered, which isn't good either but whatever, maybe someday around my 40's I will find a middle ground or I will be rich enough so it's never considered important.
Unironically, social media has helped me communicate /some/ things to friends and family, I can say "I like this!" Or "woh wheee I really don't enjoy this!". Which means I barely use it and basically touch it every once in a while because it's uncomfortable to me to be talking about myself.
Seriously how do those autistic (as in people that supposedly have autism) influencers use social media that way, it's insane to me, my stomach turns into tomato paste with baking soda and water whenever I imagine filming myself, at all.

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 04:04:30 AM No. 2149629

>>2148969
Social retardation is the main one. People with ADHD may get easily distracted during conversations or find it difficult to stay engaged in longer ones, but they still understand how to socialize on a basic level and they have friends. Autists will have no friends or only a small amount (way fewer than normal people) and not understand social cues or the purpose socializing in general (especially small talk). Best we can do is mimic others (masking) but socializing is a difficult task even when we do that.

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 09:55:28 AM No. 2149873

>>2148969
autism traits
>long time interests
>long time focus
>intense knowledge about interests
>difficulty reading body language
>difficulty reading tone of voice
>difficulty reading between the lines/sarcasm
>sensory issues (sound, light, touch are actually painful)
>"rigid" and not impulsive, craves routines and structure
>often a genuine lack of interest in social aspects of life
>doesn't know how to adapt their speech (using big words even to young kids assuming they'll understand)
>not very expressive/monotone
>dresses "weird" due to sensory issues or because they don't care what other people think

adhd traits
>difficulty focusing
>mostly does things that give instant dopamine
>short periods of hyper interest, then drops it fully (depending on the person a "short" period can still be months)
>switches interests a lot
>easily distracted
>difficulty finishing tasks
>doesn't have sensory issues but are instead easily distracted by sound/light/etc
>impulsive, bad at following routines and structure
>social difficulties come from being impulsive and over-reactive, and being distracted
>often very expressive due to being so reactive
>can be introverts, but doesn't have the same lack of interest in social aspects as autist
>dresses "weird" because it gives them dopamine and/or attention

Imo they're very different conditions but they get conflated so much people can't tell what is what, and some people have both making it even more confusing.

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 09:59:26 AM No. 2149876

>>2149873
Autists are mentally handicapped and have lowered IQ’s/need handlers, adhd’ers have something going on with their dopamine receptors. Two different worlds.

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 10:24:52 AM No. 2149896

>>2149876
Ironically, in my own life experience, I've observed the opposite. Aspergers people are weird, but ADHD people are weird and annoying.
>>2148646
Autism is basically social retardation. BPD is founded on a strong social understanding. The manipulation, lies, crazy antics, etc., of someone with BPD would be very difficult for an autist to do. Especially the social manipulation, that's nearly impossible for a diagnosed autist to do.

IMO, autism in girls can be misdiagnosed as BPD if the doctor is inexperienced or unfamiliar with how autism usually presents in women. Half the time, when someone is diagnosed with BPD, what they were really diagnosed with was "I don't know what's wrong with you, and I don't care enough to find out."

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 01:31:05 PM No. 2150054

>went in for med check yesterday
>have PPA
>left with ADHD diagnosis and now waiting for a call to get eval
>autism, APD and CPTSD are on the list

Nonnas I'm a grown ass woman and I'm enraged by the fact I've been swept under the rug for years. Always been told I was just a spastic fuck that needed to focus. Well fuck all those cunts I'm about to release my autism to the eleventh degree AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 01:33:03 PM No. 2150056

>>2149873
What about people who have autism and ADHD? Don't most people with autism also have ADHD?
https://chadd.org/about-adhd/adhd-and-autism-spectrum-disorder/#:~:text=Can%20a%20person%20be%20diagnosed,condition%20in%20children%20with%20ASD.

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 01:58:04 PM No. 2150082

>>2150056
Most people with autism don't have ADHD. They're two very different disorders. TBH I have no idea why the autism and ADHD threads were merged into one, it seems silly. Some people have autism and ADHD, but it's not like if you have one you have to have the other too. TBH I think a lot of people believe they have both because ADHD and autism got popular on TikTok around the same time, so self-dxing with both became a trend.

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 02:47:39 PM No. 2150137

>>2142282
If you're the passenger roll down your window a bit and put your hand a bit out. It never fails to help me.

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 03:46:33 PM No. 2150227

>>2149876
sounds like an adhd cope

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 03:47:24 PM No. 2150229

>>2150056
>Don't most people with autism also have ADHD?
Most people with autism don't even have autism these days.

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 09:53:01 PM No. 2150815

Without going into it too much, I have a family friend who is autistic. I’ve known her since we were kids and as a kid she was pretty low functioning but once she was a teenager she seems pretty normal/mainstream just introverted. She’s in her late 20s now and for whatever reason seems to have had some kind of mental break or autistic burnout. She can’t live independently anymore and is pretty much nonverbal now aside from some caveman mumbling to respond to yes or no questions. She has also lost a HUGE amount of weight and is looking like she is on track to be Lucinda. Her parents and people she was living with have no idea wtf happened to cause this. Has anyone ever experienced something like this??

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 10:07:46 PM No. 2150847

>>2150815
Maybe rape.

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 10:35:22 PM No. 2150924

>>2150847
My post was a bit hyperbolic when I said no one knows what happened. To give a bit of context my family friend went through a period of NEETdom during which she became obsessed with the Israel/Palestine stuff and this seemed to trigger some kind of depression. I met up with her a bit during this and she still seemed lucid and normal. A few months into this she had some kind of drama with her housemate over an Alexa/Google Nest. She seemed to have some kind of schizo/ocd obsession and fear with technology being able to spy on her which resulted in her siblings and parents having to intervene. Once she moved in with family is when she did a complete nosedive.

Anonymous 08/23/24 (Fri) 10:46:31 PM No. 2150950

>>2150924
I wonder if she experienced some kind of cyberstalking or harassment online that made her fear technology. That can really cause someone to turn inward and socially isolate themselves if they feel they cant trust the anonymous internet, esp in the age where the internet is necessity

Anonymous 08/24/24 (Sat) 02:32:32 AM No. 2151265

>>2149876
That's for level 3 autists and some level 2s. Level 1 (high functioning) ones tend to have high IQs. They're just socially retarded.

>>2150056
No, that's a myth spread by self-diagnosed Redditors. It's called "twice exceptional" and is pretty rare.

Anonymous 08/25/24 (Sun) 07:44:02 AM No. 2153326

What does a successful life for someone with Aspergers look like?

I'm turning 25 in a few weeks, and I've been really thinking about my life and what I want in my life. I feel sort of ashamed of myself for how little I've accomplished so far, but then I think that it's silly to compare myself to people without autism. I feel like my life is different from the norm because of my Aspergers diagnosis, and I haven't really had the chance to talk to older people with Aspergers about their life experience or advice. So I thought I'd ask nonas here about it.

I sometimes feel behind, even though I have a good life it's not exactly what I pictured for myself at almost 25. I wish I was smarter with finances in my early 20s, but at the same time so much happened outside of my control I'm thankful I didn't go bankrupt.

Anonymous 08/25/24 (Sun) 08:18:17 AM No. 2153349

>>2150924
is it burnout or schizophrenia onset?

Anonymous 08/25/24 (Sun) 08:45:01 AM No. 2153373

>>2153326
I'm an aspie so I can tell you what my life looks like at 27. I got my dream job at age 21 despite lacking the right education for it, since I was self-taught and had the skills for it they hired me anyway. I think it helps that I'm kinda pretty, not bragging but it makes people like you more on sight if you are. It's not the most high paying job but it's super fun and fulfilling, and super flexible so I'm able to get extra time off almost any time I want.

I'm pretty introverted so I rarely see friends irl but that's fine with me kek I do hang out with my family and boyfriend regularly so my social life feels good to me. I've got a lot of good friends online. I talk to them near daily, I've just never met them irl.

My only big issue in life is that I can't afford a house, but the house market is total shit at the moment so not even rich couples can afford a house. The banks won't give people house loans anymore so unless you can literally pay the whole house price you can't buy it.
Despite the fact that I love my job it does feel depressing to not be able to even build my own life from it, like what's the point of working then? I'd like to try to start a family one day but I refuse to do it from a teeny tiny apartment! My boyfriend likes big dogs so we're planning on getting one if we ever do get a house too. I tell myself it's temporary and we'll get that house some day but who knows.

Overall I think my life is pretty successful. Most of my non-autist peers haven't gotten as far in life as I have. Some still struggle to find jobs. I think them chasing "fun" at parties and bars for years set them back from being as successful.

My autist friends who are around my age are hit or miss. The ones who haven't made it far are the ones who struggle deeply with various mental issues. I honestly think it helped me to see them struggle as it made me realize I don't want to end up like them too. And from an outside perspective it really looks like a self-pitying circle of doom. They could be fine one day but the second they lose confidence they end up giving up on even trying and are convinced they can't do anything anymore and their lives fall to ruins. It's like the self-pitying is now their entire personality. I hope they snap out of it, but idk if or when that will happen.

In the end my life goal is ordinary. But if you're an aspie who doesn't want ordinary then there's no reason to have that as your goal, or to feel behind. And I also think it's never too late. If you're 50 and you wanna go get an education, why not? Do what you want!

Anonymous 08/25/24 (Sun) 09:14:39 AM No. 2153396

>>2153326
Nona average normie isnt anywhere near to be successful kek. They all struggle to find a job sometimes, most of normie women have shitty moids/crotch demons to take care of. I personally think that being autistic is better. Society demands a lot of things from women that arent actually obligatory so I feel like i have more freedom because i dont do the said things. Maybe you just watched too much tiktok/insta where everyone is a make up guru with lots of followers, expensive clothes and vacations, but real life is not like that at all. Most people arent as successful they want to seem. Dont worry about that, just live your life.
Try not to end up homeless and earn some money for anime merch, thats it. Thats life.

Anonymous 08/25/24 (Sun) 09:26:15 AM No. 2153405

>>2153396
>Maybe you just watched too much tiktok/insta
I actually never used Insta my whole life, and I only used Tiktok during the pandemic for less than a year. I don't usually compare myself to anyone on the internet because I know it's all fake, I'm just talking about like comparing myself to my friends or family who are similar in age to me and seeing what they've done in the same time I have. I just feel like sometimes I'm behind from them or like I don't have enough going on for me, but I'm not sure if this is because I'm trying to compare my life as an aspie to a normies life.
>>2153373
>But if you're an aspie who doesn't want ordinary then there's no reason to have that as your goal, or to feel behind. And I also think it's never too late.
This was a really nice response, thanks for typing it out. I also don't like people that are always negative or focusing on the bad stuff, usually I try to be an optimist and most people in my life would agree I'm happy-go-lucky. It's just sometimes I think about like "ahh what am I gonna be doing in 5-10 years?!" and get nervous for the future. I want a life where I'm financially secure and independent, but at the same time I don't know the best ways to do this when I feel like such an alien compared to everyone around me.

Anonymous 08/25/24 (Sun) 06:33:45 PM No. 2153998

>>2153349
Can burnout be that extreme?

Anonymous 08/26/24 (Mon) 01:46:50 AM No. 2154521

Everyday I actually thank God that I have Aspergers. I swear to God shit that normies think is important and the shit they deal with is all so retarded to me. I wish I didn't feel this way because sometimes it's easy to loathe them when you hear them complaining and whining about the most retarded thing ever.

Anonymous 08/26/24 (Mon) 08:18:14 AM No. 2154878

>>2153326
I thought I'd post to give you perspective into what my life looks like (I'm 25). I really enjoy my life right now, and while there are some things in which I would be considered very successful, there are also things that make me sound like a complete loser.
>autistic interest turned into a career (went studying, insane focus, forget everything else)
>got my PhD
>working as a post-doctoral researcher, trying to make it and get tenure
>live alone
>messy apartment
>two friends plus some colleagues
>never dated and khv (feels too stressful)
>my mom still helps me with bills and groceries (not paying them but like, to get me do them)
>eat the same thing every day
>work from home
>have a routine, don't want to break it so I never socialize
>dress weird
>people call me weird to my face
So I pretty much am an eternal womanchild, but because I have the job of my dreams I consider myself very successful. I have no idea what others think of me, except that my colleagues have literally called me weird multiple times. I don't really care, to be honest. I guess what I want to say is that you shouldn't stress about being "perfect" especially according to some outside standards, but instead, you should focus on your strengths and specific goals and what you personally enjoy in life, and work towards those.

Anonymous 08/26/24 (Mon) 03:43:51 PM No. 2155198

>>2150815
>>2150924
It's a bit shameful to admit but a similar thing happened to me during 2016 US Presidental election (and I'm not even American kek). It also coincided with me getting into and subsequentially dropping out of uni because of burnout. I started to believe that the World is going to end, doomscrolled endlessly and had a feeling that I'm being watched so I cut contact with my friends and deleted all my social media. Still regret it to this day but it is what it is.
I think back then I tried to project my inner stuggles on the outside world if that makes sense. "It's not like I have a problem, everything's going to shit, so why even bother?". That might explain your friend's obsession as well.

Anonymous 08/26/24 (Mon) 05:58:44 PM No. 2155340

>>2154521
>I swear to God shit that normies think is important and the shit they deal with is all so retarded to me.
Sometimes I feel I'm the only one who didn't grow up, and other days I'm convinced it's the other way around and I'm the only one who did. Like Norma you're seriously slagging off Karen over there because she dared to wear socks with sandals 1 single time so now you're going to bully her for weeks? And god forbid you didn't wear the right brand of jacket or your social life would be dead. You let the grass grow one inch too long and now you're dying of embarrassment of what the neighbors will think of you? Eating "breakfast" food for dinner is blasphemous and you'd rather not eat at all if that's all that's available? Ok, starve then.

Anonymous 08/26/24 (Mon) 06:11:53 PM No. 2155354

>>2154878
>eat the same thing every day
kek I'm >>2153373 and I do the same! I'm so lucky my favorite meal is healthy and includes pretty much every food group so I get proper nutrition.
>dress weird
I didn't mention it in my post but I'm also into an alt fashion. I think that helps the "being called weird" part, especially if you own it. If you lean into being weird and don't take it as an insult it makes people like you more, you become "their" weirdo friend kek

This is kind of a side note but I feel like alt fashion is good for staying safe. If you asked someone on the street "hey a young woman with brown hair was kidnapped, have you seen anyone like it?" they'd have no idea as they'd likely have seen 100 women like that. But if you ask "a young woman with bright pink hair wearing pastel clothes" they'd know immediately if they saw you earlier because you stand out. (That's not my actual style, just an example). I know my neighbors always notice me when I go out or get home even if we've never even spoken to each other simply because I stand out, it really makes me feel safer.

Anonymous 08/26/24 (Mon) 06:23:22 PM No. 2155362

>>2148160
Not even my parents or friends know, let alone people at work. I've had this diagnosis since 2008 and I had just turned 18 back then so it wasn't necessary to tell my parents. Back then I wanted to hide it because my mother judged lazy people who make excuses with things like depression, but know it's because I personally feel that way. At this point I'd rather be seen as a difficult or strange person than someone who has autism. Not because I think having autism is embarrassing but because I just don't want to be seen as weak person who is trying to make excuses. I'm really trying so hard to wear this mask. It can be exhausting but it's the price I'm willing to pay.

I thank god I'm not a moid because moid autists don't seem to be able to get any type of self-awareness. I'm constantly judging myself and my surroundings and I think it benefits me because I've managed to the a job that guarantees me comfortable life.

Anonymous 08/26/24 (Mon) 07:06:18 PM No. 2155415

>>2155354
Different anon but I’ve been into ‘alternative fashion’ for as long as I can remember and now as a grown ass adult I don’t know how to dress like a normal person. I was into Jfashion for ~15 years and figured that if I just start buying clothes from local brands/shops it will automatically be normal but people still think I dress weird or ‘alternative’ because of the specific pieces I choose and the way I combine them, I guess. Most of the time I don’t care but sometimes I just want to blend in and I literally don’t know how to do that.
My main problem is that I can’t wear jeans or trousers due to my figure and sensory issues, so I’m always wearing skirts, which I’ve been told turns every outfit into a Fashion Statement (TM) automatically. Just yesterday I went to the store in a t-shirt, wide skirt (because pockets) and comfortable boots and two different women told me they loved my outfit. I didn’t even realise I was wearing an outfit, I thought I was just wearing clothes lmao
Part of me wants to give up and lean back into alternative fashion because at least then it’s a choice and it doesn’t feel weird when people comment on my clothing. When people comment on clothes that I thought were completely normal and unobtrusive I get paranoid and start thinking I’ve committed some unspoken faux pas or something. I also hate the idea of people thinking that I’m trying to attract attention when 99% of the time I’m just wearing whatever is clean and comfortable.

Anonymous 08/26/24 (Mon) 07:39:20 PM No. 2155474

>>2155198
May I ask how you came out of it? What was the process like for you? Any tips on what a friend could have done?

Anonymous 08/27/24 (Tue) 02:15:28 AM No. 2155857

>>2155362
Same. Diagnosed as an adult and never told a single soul. Most people are like >>2149876 and think of autists as being retards. I don't want to be judged like that. I'd rather people just think I'm a quirky weirdo.

Anonymous 08/27/24 (Tue) 06:29:13 AM No. 2156081

>>2155415
>Most of the time I don’t care but sometimes I just want to blend in and I literally don’t know how to do that.
I think it's easy! Go to the site of a local clothing shop (aimed at adults), look at their normie models and choose an outfit to copy. Now you have a normie outfit. If needed make a trusted normie help you go shopping in person for one single normie outfit. You really only need one. When in doubt, blue jeans and a plain white tshirt is as normie as it gets.

Anonymous 08/28/24 (Wed) 06:01:26 PM No. 2157888

Anyone has experience with Dyanavel or guanfacine?

Anonymous 08/28/24 (Wed) 06:06:30 PM No. 2157893

>>2157888
Dyanavel is just brand-name for amphetamine. Guanfacine, take your blood beforehand and see how your blood pressure is, since it is used off-brand as a treatment for high blood pressure. If you already have low blood pressure, it can negatively affect you.

Anonymous 08/28/24 (Wed) 06:28:00 PM No. 2157921

File: 1724869680206.jpg (108.46 KB, 616x818, 1000057166.jpg)

I dont get how other autists can dress weird, I hate that, I need to keep my clothes as simple and easy to wear as possible. Sure, the idea of alt stuff sounds fun, but then I think of the scratchy materials, awkward fits and multiple accessories and stop liking the idea.
I wish I could dress like pic related but I know I wouldn't be able to handle the feeling of the materials on my skin, I also would feel awkward not having an exact time and space to wear this because it's not that easy to say
>I will just go meet my friends like this!
And then being at the mall with all the eyes on you, no thanks. Or I could go to anime/comic conventions and wear this, but then I think that it's a waste to have something pretty in my closet so I can only wear it like once a year if lucky in some place where I already feel vulnerable even around nerds.
Which leads me to another trouble I have with alt clothes, I feel like the options are limited even with statement pieces, I can wear statement jewelry with different normie outfits and it will look nice, but if I put on, say, the socks of this outfit with a random dress, it won't really look that nice as with the outfit.
Or if I get a really cool purse with a cross or that's like a plushie, I won't really be able to find the right time and place to match it with my usual clothes.
And I've tried before, I've tried wearing leg warmers to the super market and other cute accessories with socks with bows but it's hard to not just make one single outfit and pair it with something else.

Anonymous 08/28/24 (Wed) 07:02:39 PM No. 2157948

>>2157921
I hate it when people comment my outfit, even if it's something positive (like it usually is). I guess it's just the sudden awkward acknowledgment that someone can perceive me as a physical being.

Anonymous 08/28/24 (Wed) 07:39:39 PM No. 2157986

What's your relationship with other autists/adhds? "Neurodivergents move in packs" is a common meme but I used to clash heavily with them as a child because we were both rigid and our rigidity didn't overlap. In adulthood I get along a bit better, but sometimes I'm the radfem autist surrounded by nonbinary furry autists
Also, does anyone here find themselves easy targets for unstable abusive types like bpd?

Anonymous 08/28/24 (Wed) 08:23:22 PM No. 2158066

>>2157986
>Also, does anyone here find themselves easy targets for unstable abusive types like bpd?

People that are good at manipulation, like BPDchans, are very good at sensing when someone is pliable, gullible, or lonely. It's an extrapolation, but if you ever read about serial killers like Ted Bundy, you'll realize a shared characteristic between them all is their innate ability to recognize vulnerable people. Autists are usually the target of asocial dangerous types because, although we hate to admit it, we are 'different' from the normies in a certain recognizable way. It's not just autists, people with FAS are often taken advantage of by the same people because their disorder is usually evident by their facial features.

>What's your relationship with other autists/adhds?

No two people are alike, obviously, but I find that I'm able to get along better with fellow spergs than I am with normies. I have normie friends and everything, and I've done a lot of self-work that's helped me become more social, but I still find I have the best conversations with autists. I think the biggest component is the sense of humour. Spergs have a very specific type of humour that I find super funny, but normies might find off-putting or weird. Inversely, I find normie attempts at humour to be dull or juvenile. I was like you in my youth though, I hated other spergs I think because I was deeply uncomfortable with who I was, and they reminded me of my own issues. Now that I'm comfortable in my own skin and secure in myself, I find it much easier to relate to other autists.

Anonymous 08/28/24 (Wed) 10:01:06 PM No. 2158184

File: 1724882466860.jpg (39.13 KB, 564x317, IYoOiTi.jpg)

Is adhd medication worth it? I've always struggled with school and currently taking an extra year(also trauma related which is why my university is leniant). I am diagnosed + have always had a lot of support/accomodations. most of it is just executive dysyfunction and me procrasinating. I've always been bad at finishing prescribed medication and I don't want extra cash.
I just feel retarded cause everyone can take a full course load + do a job and graduate on time but I struggle even with all this extraa help

Anonymous 08/28/24 (Wed) 10:05:03 PM No. 2158189

>>2157986
like just tends to attract like. Even if we think we're normies there are always social cues we miss that will put off normal people.
>Also, does anyone here find themselves easy targets for unstable abusive types like bpd?
again natural consequence of not understanding social cues, you miss unspoken red flags everyone assumes you should know. Because with social interactions there's never a how to guide, you can only know in hindsight which I hate. Especially cause most neurodivergents have parents who are either also on the spectrum or shelter us and make us socially stupid

Anonymous 08/28/24 (Wed) 11:05:27 PM No. 2158235

>>2158184
>everyone can take a full course load + do a job and graduate on time but I struggle even with all this extraa help
You're disabled anon, of course you're going to be a bit behind from normies. You shouldn't feel bad about taking more time to achieve certain things, be proud that you're doing them at all!

IMO, if your main struggle is executive disfunction and procrastination and you're hesitant to try medication, maybe try to change your habits first? I know for me, when I was in uni, I could do nothing at home. I always had to drag my procrastinating ass to the library to do work, I found it easier to actually finish my work if I was outside the house away from usual distractions. I also would make a point to say to myself "okay, anon, you won't be going home until you finish XYZ!" and I would stay in that dingy library until I did all my stuff.

If you're hesitant to try pharmaceutical medications, you could also try to use traditional remedies. Ephedrine is very similar in structure to amphetamine, and IMO it performs similarly. Another choice would be "Liver Soothing Depression Relief Capsules" (舒肝解郁胶囊), it's a Chinese herbal concoction that's used to treat mild depression and to give energy and focus. There was a study done recently that showed that they worked on par with standard anti-depressant medications in terms of alleviating depression when compared to placebos.

I also keked when you said "I don't want extra cash" because I used to sell my extra pills too

Anonymous 08/29/24 (Thu) 01:18:28 AM No. 2158403

File: 1724894308419.jpeg (162.5 KB, 1619x883, 1724794450317.jpeg)

This was posted in the bad comics thread. Does anyone have the opposite of this? If something is high stakes or I'm being ordered to do something, like paperwork or homework, I can do it. But I can barely focus on hobbies or learning new things, even if they are of interest to me. I have really bad self discipline and I end up bouncing around from idea to idea before burning myself out and giving up on everything

Anonymous 08/29/24 (Thu) 01:55:30 AM No. 2158456

>>2157986
I find it very hard to deal with autists who can’t or refuse to mask. It gives me so much secondhand embarrassment I start to believe it’s me who is going to be judged as well. I’ve learned to be extreme careful with people’s boundaries and when I meet an autist who doesn’t do that I don’t know what to do. Even with people who aren’t autistic it’s annoying to me when they can’t behave according to my standards. Also people who don’t control their meltdowns make me feel awkward.

Anonymous 08/29/24 (Thu) 03:34:49 AM No. 2158550

>>2157986
Can't relate to them. I've been to some support/meetup groups for autists and it's all people who don't work and leech off their parents no matter how old they are. They're greasy and slobby and just unpleasant to look at. It's almost entirely males that show up so maybe that's why. Female autists seem to be much more high functioning as a whole from what I've seen online.
>Also, does anyone here find themselves easy targets for unstable abusive types like bpd?
Not BPDers, but NPDers yes, tons. They're attracted to me like magnets. I've been hit, raped, used and screamed at by more people than I can count.

Anonymous 08/29/24 (Thu) 03:37:45 AM No. 2158553

you should be grateful you even receive accommodations nonnie! i have documented disorders/ptsd too and nothing was granted to me. give yourself some grace you arent superhuman

Anonymous 08/29/24 (Thu) 06:23:57 AM No. 2158627

>>2158403
I think yours is more common, I've met people with ADHD who claim they hyperfocus like in the comic but any time I see them do their hobby they still get distracted right away

Anonymous 08/29/24 (Thu) 06:37:37 AM No. 2158634

>>2157986
>Also, does anyone here find themselves easy targets for unstable abusive types like bpd?
Yes, I've had my fair share of abusive friends, though I avoid calling most of them abusive since most were when we were just kids. To cope as a kid I used to tell myself I was special and had the patience of an angel so I was the only one capable of being this mean person's friend. Adults were always preaching the whole "be nice to everyone" thing so I took it to heart and ended up not realizing it wasn't right for me to keep being nice when the other person kept being mean and using me.
>What's your relationship with other autists/adhds?
I've always gotten along well with people who are near my exact level of high functioning autism, our brains really seem similarly wired and that was true even before any of us were diagnosed. It's a bit freaky though when I see deranged high functioning autists who got captured by some ideology, because often I can see exactly what pathway their autist brain took to get to that conclusion. I've tried to tell normies about it but they just look horrified as if I agreed with the deranged person when I don't.

I've never had a problem with anyone with ADHD or other disorders, because of my earlier "patience" with actually mean people when someone just struggles with focus or get a bit hyper that seemed like nothing in comparison.

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 05:34:58 PM No. 2163006

Today I realized that the reason my professor probably hates me is because I never laugh at his jokes. IDK though, he's just not funny and in fact I think most of his jokes make him sound like a shit person so the fact that I maintain a neutral face should be enough grace. But it's not, I have to pretend to smile and laugh because everybody else is doing it and to stroke this guy's fragile ego. Same when talking to peers– I have to pretend I feel certain ways about certain things instead of just saying what my experience was or else people take it the wrong way. It's exhausting. I wish I could either be more regular (not have differing opinion so I'm not lying when I say things that "fit in") or care less about honesty. But every time I have to tell a white lie and put on a false face I feel like I'm betraying myself and in turn it reduces my ability to trust other people because I start believing nothing anybody else every says is truthful. idk. Just venting

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 05:36:40 PM No. 2163010

>>2163006
Also tacking on to this– I don't say shit that should hurt people because I understand and empathize with what's hurtful and don't want other people to feel that. But it's exhausting for me that neutrality isn't enough.

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 06:04:03 PM No. 2163037

>>2157986
I don't think I can generalize to that extent. There's plenty of neurotypicals I vibe with and plenty I don't, and there's autists I click with and those who I can't spend time around because they only ever talk about themselves which is rude and painful to listen to. I'm ADHD and unmedicated due to congenital heart issues.
>Also, does anyone here find themselves easy targets for unstable abusive types like bpd?
No. I gray rock the shit out of people who annoy me because I grew up with an unstable weirdo for a mother, so I'm not interesting enough for them. Has nothing to do with my condition, though.

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 06:25:06 PM No. 2163051

People with ADHD / ADD in this thread do you feel similar to autistic people sometimes? I have ADD but I feel like I'm not "neurodivergent enough" whatever that means.

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 06:28:55 PM No. 2163055

>>2163051
Yes, but then after I interact with a true autist for a substantial amount of time I realize how socially stunted they really are. I feel too weird for normies and too normie for autists.

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 06:39:15 PM No. 2163060

>>2163051
Yeah I relate a lot to some struggles we share. Mainly sensory, reading social cues, and feeling isolated growing up. It isn’t uncommon in the ADHD community and some even argue that ADHD should be included within the autism spectrum because of the similarities they have. Obviously I think that’s dumb and they’re two distinct disorders, but it just goes to show there is a lot of overlap.

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 06:45:30 PM No. 2163063

>>2163055
>I feel too weird for normies and too normie for autists.
Same here

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 06:45:51 PM No. 2163064

File: 1726253150740.webp (74.68 KB, 640x800, 7946340C-72B3-4C50-8212-C10AE8…)

>>2163060
Samefag. Sharing picrel since it’s interesting

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 06:47:32 PM No. 2163065

>>2163064
>Social differences
What does that mean?

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 06:53:00 PM No. 2163069

What is your experience with severely autistic people? I get along with them quite well. Even when they don’t talk I feel a deep connection with them, it’s like we just get each other. I got a new job where I care for mentally disabled and autistic children and my coworkers couldn’t believe I have zero experience with autistic children, they thought I have years of experience. That confirmed for me that it’s not just in my head. I’m very interested if any of you guys had any similar experience.

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 07:05:42 PM No. 2163080

I finally went to the GP to be referred to a psychiatrist for either ADHD or autism, I'm not sure which. I wrote down some situations my mental issues have gotten me into, but when saying it out loud it just sounded like depression. How do you guys figure out how to communicate your symptoms accurately? One of my big fear is being misdiagnosed or dismissed as neurotic because what i'm describing is all over the place.

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 07:17:21 PM No. 2163097

>>2163065
It’s stating that both disorders are defined by having difficulty in socializing with others. However the root cause is different for each. In autism social difficulty is the result of having difficulty reading social cues at all. In ADHD it is from an inability to focus or pay attention.

My own personal example that illustrates this is that I have difficult maintaining eye contact. It isn’t because I find eye contact unsettling, or that I don’t understand why I should do it, I just get incredibly distracted reading the other person’s facial expressions or fixating on something on their appearance. Overtime I developed the habit to not make eye contact so I could pay attention to the conversation. So even though it sounds like an autistic trait, the root cause is my difficulty in maintaining focus. So it better fits with ADHD.

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 07:31:02 PM No. 2163109

>>2163051
I guess but for me the social elements I "relate" to are personality things while for them they're genuine incapabilities, so I don't think it's my ADHD that's making me relate to them.
>>2163055
> feel too weird for normies and too normie for autists.
Agreed with this.

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 07:38:27 PM No. 2163121

>>2163109
>for me the social elements I "relate" to are personality things while for them they're genuine incapabilities
Please elaborate

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 08:51:49 PM No. 2163195

>>2163064
These diagrams are always retarded. I hate how superficial they are
>Interest-based nervous system
>Webbed thought patterns
>Valuing context is ND
What?

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 08:58:14 PM No. 2163204

>>2163121
>>2163006 and >>2163010 are me. I'm generally considered extroverted and socially fluid by other people (I know this because it's something I've been complimented on many times) but I have difficulty in particular situations where I'm expected to "perform" because I really do just think it's stupid and sometimes lack empathy. I don't think I struggle to detect social cues or anything though, I notice them but it's up to my mood whether I act accordingly or not.

Anonymous 09/13/24 (Fri) 09:42:42 PM No. 2163278

>>2163051
Yes, frequently. I have severe ADD, and my therapist first assumed that I was autistic. I'm not sure for anons here, but I've heard of other moderate to severe ADD/inattentive types being misdiagnosed with aspergers or autism. Personal pet peeve, but it really irks me when people think ADD/ADHD is a one-size-fits-all sort of thing, when there's a spectrum of severity with symptoms.

Anonymous 09/14/24 (Sat) 12:59:10 AM No. 2163469

>>2163195
Anon I’m not sure how to tell you this but these are all real things regardless of your ability to understand them.

Anonymous 09/14/24 (Sat) 08:13:51 AM No. 2163914

>>2163065
I think it's just an attempt to word things vaguely in order to maximally expand the "neurodivergent" umbrella, so that as many people as possible could "relate" or whatever. I hate shit like this, it trivializes the actual issues that come with being a sperg.

Anonymous 09/16/24 (Mon) 11:33:19 PM No. 2166920

I genuinely cannot regulate my emotions and I don't know how to fix it. I can't deal with conflict because once I get angry I feel like I'm going to explode. I do my best to distract myself from triggering situations but it's never completely avoidable. Last week my boss confronted me about some work related stuff, and I felt she was criticizing my personality, and I had a panic attack. Could barely get my words out, hands shaking, couldn't look up from the floor. It was embarrassing but at least I held back from crying. This causes me to isolate and avoid social interaction because I get upset easily when social situations don't go the way I want. I'm working with a therapist and taking anti anxiety meds but I fear my social disabilities are going to plague me for life

Anonymous 09/16/24 (Mon) 11:36:16 PM No. 2166923

Genuinely unsure if the constant fuckery of thoughts and distractions inside my head is inattentive ADHD or just anxiety. The latter runs in my family on both parents' sides and I've had symptoms since I was around five.

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 12:31:10 AM No. 2167006

>>2163469
How is valuing context 'ND'?
>ability to understand them
KEK i understand them very well, they're straightforward concepts, i just don't believe they hold any water. Anyone can have 'webbed thought patterns'. Some of these terms look like any other pop psych term that appear in cutesy books/sites about self-help without much evidence to back them up (not that i think all understanding of autism has to come from doctors, but come on).

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 12:43:55 AM No. 2167035

Is there anyone who suspects/or has a confirmed diagnosis of schizoid personality disorder along side autism? i spent my formative years in complete isolation from my peers and didn't have very empathetic parents either, so it led me to develop such personality traits. I feel like it's almost always moids who have this and never a woman, it's tough to find somebody who relates. I am not diagnosed with it, but i don't see the point in it since autism covers most of my issues anyways, but i do identify very much with the symptoms. Sorry if it's too off topic, but i feel like if i didn't have autism, i wouldn't have developed this issue.

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 02:38:26 AM No. 2167290

bit of a vent but i hate how all the terminology surrounding autism is so childish-sounding… i get why this is to an extent but i hate using words like "meltdown" or "stimming" as an adult woman. surely we can think of something that doesn't make me sound like a 4 year old when i try to talk about my issues? i just cringe every time i have to say it out loud. maybe its just my shame talking though kek

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 08:05:53 AM No. 2167869

>>2163914
>it's just an attempt to word things vaguely in order to maximally expand the "neurodivergent" umbrella, so that as many people as possible could "relate" or whatever. I hate shit like this
Me too nona, me too. I hate the idea that as many people as possible should be able to get diagnosed on the "spectrums" of disorders. I'm one of those spergs who strongly feels high vs low functioning autism isn't the same condition at all. I've yet to see good arguments or evidence for why a sperg having a hard time reading some social cues is somehow the same as a properly mentally disabled person with the inability to even speak or wipe their own butt. It seems obvious the root cause is different, and assuming they're the same is harming both groups.

People say a person can have both autism + some other mental disability but I don't really agree, at least not the way it's presented and assumed. I mean a person can NOT have high functioning autism AND be severely mentally retarded. The second part removes the "high functioning" part by definition. But a person can in theory be a low functioning autistic and have another severe mental disability, so it doesn't add up that they're the same to me. But even then I again question how they know someone who is so severely retarded also has autism, how do they know their other condition isn't the root cause of their social issues? How do they test the 2 conditions separately from each other? For example people with Down's syndrome tend to have lower IQ, so how would they know the social difficulty isn't from that rather than then also having autism?

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 08:09:26 AM No. 2167873

>>2167290
It's because the words were invented and used for actual kids. Weirdo adults online just started using them for themselves. You're free to use different words nona, I wouldn't say "meltdown" is a proper medical term to begin with and if you don't feel it fits you then you don't have to use it to describe yourself.

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 08:11:05 AM No. 2167874

Serious question to ASD/autist nonas: How would you react to someone saying something along the lines of "you don't seem autistic" or reacting to you telling them you have it by "oh I had no idea, I couldn't tell"?

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 08:20:22 AM No. 2167879

>>2167874
In my case I probably would just laugh or say something along the lines of "yeah, I'm high functioning", but I know that many others would likely be offended by it.

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 08:32:17 AM No. 2167886

>>2167874
I would ask if they're blind, I have been asked if I was autistic just because of the way I walk, you would have to be really trying hard or not know shit about autism to not be able tell.

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 08:55:06 AM No. 2167912

>>2167874
quite happy, if they seem sincere. i have been putting a lot of practice into my masking. of course they could be lying & being gracious but i'd take it as a compliment either way.

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 09:41:08 AM No. 2167932

>>2167879
>but I know that many others would likely be offended by it.
>>2167912
>quite happy, if they seem sincere
Ayrt. That's kind of what I was wondering about. When I see autism influencers online they all, without fail, act as if the other person is being super offensive by even asking. Like asking/commenting is attacking their "identity" by denying their autism. They've got this gotcha-phrase that is like "so what should an autist look and act like then!?". Well, maybe just… not like a fully normal functioning person like you are presenting as?

But myself and the autists I know in person would all get happy to be told we seem normal enough they can't even tell we're autistic. And even if they were genuinely questioning if I was an autist and think that I'm faking it I wouldn't be offended. I don't care what they think, why should I? It's not an identity.
In fact if I felt comfortable I'd join in and tell them I'm also questioning the diagnosis and that I think the "spectrum" is too wide nowadays. But I know the online autists would want me dead if I told them that.

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 10:20:29 AM No. 2167943

Turns out I've had the ADHD diagnosis for a year but my last therapist refused to tell me before ending my sessions, only know now bc they finally sent my journal to my new therapist after she nagged them for 3 months. My new therapist is gobsmacked. She had almost (independently) finished setting an ADHD diagnosis on me, so yeah. She got pretty upset, bc what a collosal waste of time and a year with a diagnosis and not knowing is a long ass time.

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 11:23:37 AM No. 2167961

File: 1726572217625.jpg (106.53 KB, 500x375, bristlenose-pleco.jpg)

>>2167035
i am the same (with suspected/self-diagnosed since my teens, there is no point to get diagnosed with it if you can't be bothered or have no interest to work on changing the behaviour.) i think a lot of the other schizoid-autistic women don't really care to talk about it online, most of the autistic communities especially for women have the type of bonding and "soft-social" behaviour that isn't seen in the more male typical "stereotypical" autism or schizoids (which is the type of behaviour which is the most "relatable" to me), it's not really purposeful to spend time in those communities. i think it's much more rare for an autistic women to develop schizoid traits in response to childhood neglect than other more "female-type" disorders like borderline, just due to the spread of how these disorders manifest between the sexes and the societal context. but i also feel the same, that if i wasn't autistic with the already in built tendency to hypersensitivity and black and white thinking, i probably wouldn't have schizoidism. there are some people who think that schizoid personality disorder is a manifestation of another type of autism, but i don't agree. regardless it's a shame to have the disorder, but what can be done about it now

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 11:42:21 AM No. 2167966

>>2167873
What can someone say instead of meltdown and stimming? I'm not autistic (at least I don't think so but I have ADHD), I just hate using terms meant for kids when referring to adults

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 11:45:24 AM No. 2167970

>>2073825
>You might think your earnest attempts at connection are not desperate but they are, normie women have finely tuned systems that make them turn strange people away.
My therapist told me to just go at it when befriending people and just talk to them like that so I guess I fucked up by listening to him

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 11:48:55 AM No. 2167971

>>2073825
To be honest even normie women tend to get scared of other normie women and they tend to act mean or weirded out to each other out of nowhere, just don't befriend them. I wouldn't befriend men either, they suck. Try befriending other neurodivergent women if possible I guess

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 11:52:15 AM No. 2167973

>>2071667
>>2071343
Yes, I've seen it. Even the more normal ADHD women tend to be very fun to be around.

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 11:53:01 AM No. 2167974

>>2167874
I get this a lot and I’d like to be able to take it as a compliment, but the majority of the time it translates to
>I can see you’re weird
>but not in the very specific way I believe TRULY autistic people are weird
>so I don’t accept autism as an explanation or excuse for your difficulties
>and I’m going to assume any problems you have are just a case of you being difficult by choice

I’m good enough at masking that average people can’t immediately tell I’m a sperg but most people (especially women) can still tell there’s something “off” about me and treat me accordingly, so not being recognised as autistic specifically doesn’t really benefit me that much. Whenever someone gives me that particular response it’s a good sign they’re going to be very dismissive and/or ask if I’ve ever tried to just, like, not be or do [insert autistic trait].

Anonymous 09/17/24 (Tue) 12:25:23 PM No. 2167980

>>2167966
nta but I generally use anxiety attack. It's how it manifests for me as anxiety is basically the reason for meltdowns anyway. It also helps because meltdown is generally considered a very specific type of outburst (usually violent or very loud) when for me it's always been a very inward thing and I mostly just shake and cry.

Anonymous 09/18/24 (Wed) 07:46:05 AM No. 2169295

>>2167970
>him
Well there you go. Males act different than females.
Maybe instead of trying to make friends you should try to have short nice interactions with people as often as possible. That's often have friendships start I think. Make people around you think you are friendly and nice in general, so they want to be your friend because every time they've met you you've said something nice without desperately trying to become their friend

Anonymous 09/18/24 (Wed) 07:51:48 AM No. 2169300

>>2167966
>What can someone say instead of meltdown and stimming?
Meltdown: anxiety attack. Or phrase it differently by saying "I just broke down crying", "my nervous system got overwhelmed"
Stimming: I find this one trickier. You could say it's a tic that you can't help, which people often seem to confuse with stimming anyway. I think being casually apologetic works the best "sorry, that's just a thing I do sometimes don't worry about it".

Anonymous 09/18/24 (Wed) 09:07:43 PM No. 2169891

>>2169295
That's what I try doing, honestly I'm good at that (casual, friendly conversation) but then I'm not sure how to actually befriend people after that kek

Anonymous 09/18/24 (Wed) 09:12:10 PM No. 2169895

I have ADHD, do people with ADHD also stim? I tend to put things on my mouth, chew things (not those toys just pen caps and shit like that) and when I'm very excited sometimes I flap my hands but I try to contain myself in front of people because they may think it's weird. But I never flap my hands otherwise, it's just when I'm happy/excited

Anonymous 09/18/24 (Wed) 09:41:07 PM No. 2169921

>>2169895
I mean everyone stims even normal people but have you considered getting evaluated for autism as well? The comorbitidy is very high and autism in women is even more overlooked than adhd. I know several women with adhd diagnosis who didnt get an aditional autism diagnosis until several years later, despite being way more visibly autistic than adhd

Anonymous 09/18/24 (Wed) 11:19:48 PM No. 2170022

>>2169921
I have considered it specially because there's test designed for women in my country but I'm not sure enough to do it, because there's some stuff that I've seen here that doesn't really apply to me but other things definitely do. Sometimes I wonder if it's just my ADHD hence why I asked the stimming question, the only time I involuntarily move my hands like flapping them around is when I get excited, other movements in my body like moving my leg or my feet while typing may just be my ADHD

Anonymous 09/18/24 (Wed) 11:27:03 PM No. 2170036

Very serious question for nonnas, this is something I don't really understand but I've seen people talking about over here in the farms a lot

Do you think high functioning autism should be in the same category or whatever you may call it as low functioning autism? I've seen people online saying only low functioning autism is the "real" autism and high functioning autism should not be put in the same category. I think both are equally valid but what do nonnies think?

Anonymous 09/18/24 (Wed) 11:36:15 PM No. 2170046

File: 1726702575526.jpeg (41.45 KB, 552x552, 1725894760479.jpeg)

I hate this ADHD loop I seem to have where it goes
>think that I need or want to do something
>brain registers this as having done it already and it's over with
>have to constantly remind myself that I haven't actually done it
Is this something meds would help with? I've never taken any before.

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 12:01:24 AM No. 2170075

>>2169895
I’m an ADHDnona and do almost everything you listed. I do not have autism. I attribute it to being sensory seeking for any form of stimulation when bored. Think about why you do these things and in what context. Is it because you’re bored? To keep your hands busy? That points to it being an ADHD behavior. Do you do it to cope with emotions? To ground yourself? That’s more aligned with autism.

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 01:32:41 AM No. 2170201

>>2170036
I think there's a lot more autists that are somewhere between "high" and "low" functioning and every time the diagnostic terms get changed up, those autists fall through the cracks. Pretty much being able to talk at all gets someone labeled as high functioning and put in the same diagnosis category as someone who can complete multiple degrees in their special interest and shows no negative symptoms other than being "a bit weird". Despite Autism coming in three levels since 2013 (in the DSM-5, so burgerland), I've never actually seen someone diagnosed with Type 2 despite knowing many autists who need the extra support, but aren't getting it because they're able to talk and don't stim by hitting people.

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 04:13:59 AM No. 2170328

>>2167290
Because the medical community still sees autism as a "childhood disease." Pretty sure they're the ones that come up with these terms and it's also why any time you look up autism symptoms, everything it shows is only about children.

>>2167874
I'd just be like "thanks." Because I'm pretty sure they think that's a compliment, so whatever.

>>2170036
Nope, I think we should've kept the asperger's label or come up with something else. Not just lump it all together. Level 3 is pretty much straight up retardation which is not anything like Level 1.

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 04:44:56 AM No. 2170341

>>2170328 yeah, like i said i get why this is since a lot of the terms are mainly used by the parents and caregivers of autistic children, i just wish there was a better way for me to accurately describe something i still experience as an adult, in a different way from when i was 5

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 07:44:10 AM No. 2170428

Had this discussion with some friends, which do you think is harder/easier to live with, ASD or ADHD? Obviously a combo is the hardest.

To me it seems like ASD can be just socially unaware enough that it doesn't bother them too much. Like for example I have seen online autists lament over how hard they find eye contact, while in real life I've met autists who just don't care to do "proper" eye contact and they're fine with that. They've been told it's not the standard way to act so they're aware that something isn't right about it but due to their ASD they don't feel the social pressure to conform and just communicate as they always have with their "wrong" eye contact.

Of course if the social "flaw" is serious enough and you aren't aware of what you're doing that puts people off that makes it really hard to "fix" and maintain necessary relationships, so autists are dependant on normies teaching or telling them about such things. It's also harder for females to not be able to read men's evil intentions about them which can get them in harmful situations.

People with ADHD seem a bit more normal on the surface but then seem to never get anything done, which seems incredibly frustrating both to the individual and people around them. I think people with ADHD can unfortunately more easily be read by normies as "just" being stupid and lazy, which can also impact relationships negatively. Especially if they're the kind who finishes things only the very last second, that comes across as someone who is lazy and has poor planning skills because they then prove they clearly had the ability to do the thing all along but just "chose" not to do it earlier. So people with ADHD seem to also depend on normies to finish the job they started for them, or to keep them on track so they don't get too distracted.

To me personally the ADHD intention/want/need to do something but getting distracted and never actually finishing what had to be done seems worse than for strangers to think you're just socially inept as an autist. A friend thought the opposite, she'd rather die than for people to be able to look at her and see that she's a retard in any way.

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 07:47:39 AM No. 2170430

>>2170075
That's interesting, because I'm an autist and I don't do any of those things >>2169895 listed. I really like that you write down how the cause/purpose is different because normies (read fakers) act like it's all the same thing when in reality many people "stim" or display other symptoms for many different reasons and not everything is even a sign of a disorder

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 07:56:12 AM No. 2170433

>>2170328
>it's also why any time you look up autism symptoms, everything it shows is only about children.
I think this sadly(?) isn't true any more because now if I try to look anything up all I find is tiktok influencer autist levels of misinformation…

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 10:43:14 AM No. 2170489

>>2170428
I'd rather stick with my ADHD than be an autist. I do suffer from a lot of issues like executive dysfunction and anxiety but I can still function well enough to work. Unfortunately the only way to get better is to work on your issues. Medication might help, but the person still has to put in effort to get better. And we all know how social media addicts feel about that. Younger people getting diagnosed in the era of Tiktok and attention seeking will have different attitudes towards ADHD compared to older people who got diagnosed at 50 and spent their childhoods being beaten and yelled at until they learned to pretend to be normal.
ADHD can, and does, get better with time and work. Autism has very mixed results regardless of age or how hard they and their family try to make them function more normally. It's taken years for me to get to the point where I can function like a normal human being, and I've been called an ungrateful lazy bitch pretty much my whole life until my diagnosis- you're right about that being a massive issue, it made me so bitter that the huge (for me) improvements I'd made by working my ass off alone were ridiculed by every adult I knew because even toddlers could do them. I imagine that autists had similar experiences of parents screaming at them for not being normal, or asking why they're not the rain man if assburgers makes you like numbers.
TLDR they're both unpleasant conditions to have but ADHD is much easier to manage if you have the discipline.

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 11:34:09 AM No. 2170518

>>2170036
Well in the end level 3 autists have a lot of the same symptoms as me, a level 1, just a lot more severe. To me it's the same disorder but there is a need to differentiate between each level.

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 12:04:26 PM No. 2170539

>>2163051
Late ass reply but i've noticed there are almost like subgenres of autists so it's like a 1:30 chance for me if I "click" with another autist

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 07:35:46 PM No. 2171085

>>2170036
In my opinion high and low functioning autism should absolutely be treated as entirely separate conditions, like it shouldn't even be up for debate. They are far too different despite seeming similar. t.high functioning autist with a very low functioning autist brother

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 07:45:10 PM No. 2171094

I hate when people say that autism level 1 is basically non existent and unimportant and shouldn't be considered "real autism" because for what I've seen it also has it own set of complications even if they aren't as "severe" as level 3. I see this kind of talk on the Jill thread a lot, people that think neurodivergence is just being shy 2.0

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 07:53:49 PM No. 2171105

>>2171094
That's exactly the harm of the tiktok-fycation of autism/adhd and the like. Everything is just a vague emotion every person has sometimes, and all refrences for women with the conditions are conventionally pretty skinny girls who can get away with being awkward. In reality the average level 1 (I hate this system) autistic woman spends her entire child- and teenhood being lonely, which turns their adulthood lonely because they're just aware enough of how weird they are compared to everyone else to be depressed over it, rather then blissful ignorance.
And there's no good place to talk about these things. Most spaces are overrun with self-diagnosed young adults who think because they were a awkward teen it means they're autistic. The other end of that spectrum is the hardcore munchies who cannot talk about how it's a disability without talking about spoons the entire time. Anyone who has actually had to deal with having any of these kind of conditions will learn really fast that in real life people hate it when you have a condition that you can't easily give them a bullet pointed list of with things that will fix you into a perfect human. Unless you're a man of course then everything is excused.

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 08:05:06 PM No. 2171121

>>2170036
yes because autism is genetic so the conditions are linked. i think future classification of autism could be like "autism with intellectual disability" or focus more on specific symptoms maybe, like a score for sensory issues, social issues, etc.

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 08:41:59 PM No. 2171163

File: 1726778519777.jpg (17.94 KB, 736x191, guinea-pig-gradient.jpg)

are there any other nonas here who have never been able to mask their autism? i feel like i'm in a weird middle ground because i'm high-functioning/asd level 1, but since i'm unable to actually mask, i have trouble relating with other high-functioning autists because i think i come off as much more retarded than i actually am if that makes sense kek. it's made me wonder if i was misdiagnosed and i'm actually level 2, because i've never seen high-functioning autists online discuss this. it's either that they can mask and it's stressful and makes them feel like they're leading double lives, or that they can't mask anymore due to stress, but were able to for a good portion of their lives. it's made me feel kind of jealous/bitter towards people constantly talking about masking because i would KILL to be able to hide my retardedness for once and present normal in certain situations, i feel it's held me back so much especially when trying to get a job. i hope all the nonas that are able to mask realize how lucky they are to be able to "blend in" when necessary even if it's hard

(picture unrelated i just thought it was cute)

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 08:51:37 PM No. 2171182

>>2170518
>Well in the end level 3 autists have a lot of the same symptoms as me, a level 1, just a lot more severe. To me it's the same disorder but there is a need to differentiate between each level.
What symptoms are you thinking of more specifically?
What makes your (for example) difficulty to maintain eye-contact the same as for someone who is a level 3 mute and doesn't know eye contact exists the same thing?

Anonymous 09/19/24 (Thu) 08:56:24 PM No. 2171194

>>2171105
>The other end of that spectrum is the hardcore munchies who cannot talk about how it's a disability without talking about spoons the entire time.
I hate spoonies with a burning passion, it's the dumbest ever concept to ever exist and anyone who adopts the label is a first class idiot.
>>2171121
>yes because autism is genetic so the conditions are linked.
>i think future classification of autism could be like "autism with intellectual disability"
That's contradicting yourself though? You say they're genetic but then that in the future it would have to be called "autism WITH OTHER CONDITION".

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 03:51:15 AM No. 2171678

>>2170430
The growing awareness of these conditions is a double edged sword definitely. The general public has a tendency to lose sight that symptoms and traits of disorders differ from common occurrences as they are disordered forms of those behaviors. Just because you may have picked at a scab once doesn’t mean you meet the criteria for a dermatillomania diagnosis. Just like how if you click a pen mindlessly in a boring meeting doesn’t mean you have ADHD. Context is always important and I think something many lose sight of.

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 03:51:18 AM No. 2171679

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 04:34:18 AM No. 2171710

>>2171679
>Just like how if you click a pen mindlessly in a boring meeting doesn’t mean you have ADHD. Context is always important and I think something many lose sight of.
Yes this. I have ADHD because of my bad short term memory and my inability to concentrate, not just because I click a pen sometimes.

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 06:56:27 AM No. 2171787

>>2171710
Agreed. I have poor short term memory and awareness of my surroundings to the point I get treated like a retard, and it's always these same people who then turn around and joke that they probably have ADHD for xyz cutesy reason. My legitimate issues can't be considered explainable by ADHD to them though, no, that's just me being a retard specifically to inconvenience them.
Sorry that got personal kek

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 07:00:41 AM No. 2171790

>>2170428
Id rather stick with ADHD. Like another nonna said you can kinda train yourself around ADHD even if it takes a lot of work/pain to do it. I wanted to kill myself over complications partially attributable to my ADHD when I was younger despite being medicated but even while unmedicated now, with years of experience managing my ADHD it's not too bad. Obviously at the end of the day it would be ideal to just be neurotypical and not have those moments here and there where my ADHD makes me seem like an actual retard but it is what it is.

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 07:11:31 AM No. 2171797

>>2171790
>Like another nonna said you can kinda train yourself around ADHD
Please share tips or resources on how to do this
>>2171787
>it's always these same people who then turn around and joke that they probably have ADHD for xyz cutesy reason
I fortunately have never seen this but what kind of "cutesy" stuff do you mean? I don't feel cutesy when I forget shit. Don't worry about getting personal nonna

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 07:34:25 AM No. 2171812

>>2171790
And I'd rather have my autism as I can train around that too! For me the fact that I can live normally without medication (comparing to my close friends with ADHD here) is a huge relief, especially as I like taking long hiking trips and running out of medication would be a disaster when I'm miles away from civilization.

My biggest issue with autism has been not understanding why people don't like me or why they misread me, and not getting why certain social things are their main focus in life when I don't care at all. Like why is me showing up to a graduation party of someone's sister a big deal when I barely even know her? Why do they refuse to step foot outside if they're wearing sweatpants and that would kill them of embarrassment? But 99% of that has disappeared as soon as I grew out of being a teen. Having a stable job just requires me to learn the exact social standards for that and then I'm all set. I know from an outside perspective plenty of things I do aren't "normal", like eating the exact same lunch every day, but I'm fine and happy with living the way I want, old man Steve down the road doesn't need to approve of my life habits. It's also nice that my autistic traits are appreciated in my job when I pay attention to details normies don't.

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 08:03:24 AM No. 2171844

>>2171094
God, yes. I was diagnosed with Asperger’s and the accommodations I need to function are very minor but absolutely vital to me. If I don’t have a quiet place to work and clear instructions/expectations I simply do not function properly. If I DO have those things I am a very efficient employee, moreso than the average person. But because the things I require are so minor, everyone thinks they’re unimportant and I should be able to make do without and then it’s surprised Pikachu when I suddenly go from 120% to 60%.

Imagine if astigmatism stopped being considered A Thing. I mean, everyone has blurry vision sometimes, like when we’re tired or something. Just deal with it like the rest of us. Don’t you know that some people are blind? We’re not going to bother with vision aides for anyone who isn’t legally blind, you privileged snowflake.
Why do you squint all the time? It’s weirding us out, and you can read when you’re holding the text right in front of you so clearly there’s nothing actually wrong, you’re just being difficult. Also Keith from downstairs is upset that you didn’t smile back at him when he passed you in the street yesterday. You can’t claim you didn’t recognise him from that distance since he was able to recognise you, wasn’t he? You were just being rude.
I’m sorry but we can’t renew your contract until you get this vision thing sorted out. Don’t expect anyone to provide you with glasses, it’s not like you’re blind. Just come back when you’re normal, okay? It’s not that hard, you’re almost there.

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 09:16:40 AM No. 2171883

>>2171812
>And I'd rather have my autism as I can train around that too!
How do you do that? When I had my ADHD test done they ruled out autism especifically because I said I trained myself out of the social symptoms associated with it, but I'm still more than awkward when it comes to social situations

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 09:16:58 AM No. 2171884

>>2171844
>the things I require are so minor, everyone thinks they’re unimportant and I should be able to make do without and then it’s surprised Pikachu when I suddenly go from 120% to 60%.
So true nona, I go from thinking I'm a model citizen to 1 minor thing changing and suddenly I'm like 1/4 as efficient at best and feel like an idiot

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 09:32:06 AM No. 2171892

>>2171883
>they ruled out autism especifically because I said I trained myself out of the social symptoms associated with it
Sounds a bit retarded on their part, autistic girls are known to mimic peers around them aka "masking" and it's literally a sign of their autism. Not saying you're an autist, it's just a stupid way to dismiss it. Of course it also depends on what kind of social symptoms you trained away.

One of the signs of autism they look for is not just the struggle but how they claim to deal with it. Broad example, person is asked if they struggle with talking to people:
>Normal person answer: "Yeah I find it awkward and often don't really know what to say"
>Normal shy person answer: "Yeah, I have things I want to say but I can't bring myself to say it, afterwards I think about the things I could have said"
>Autist answer A: "Yeah, I never know what to say and when I talk about the things I like they tell me it's too much so now I never really say anything because I don't want to annoy them"
>Autist answer B: "No, I've memorized a list of common things to talk about that gets the conversation going and I know what I can always bring up the weather"
A lot of the time the autist answer is "no, I don't struggle with this thing… BECAUSE I have created a personal system to deal with it" without recognizing they had to create the system because they do struggle with it and normal people don't need a system. Trained professionals are supposed to be able to spot the difference.

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 09:41:30 AM No. 2171896

>>2171892
I see, this is actually very helpful nonna, I'm more of a "I don't want to bother people at all" type of person because it's annoying to deal with people period so I guess my social deficit has more to do with my own preference rather than what you just explained

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 10:05:58 AM No. 2171906

>>2170036
No, joining the two conditions just made sure me and my family couldn't get help or access to resources due to us having "Aspergers" (no longer a thing) and us not being low functioning enough to get an "Autism" diagnosis (you can't even get it diagnosed past 18 unless you're a "threat to others or yourself").
They should always be two conditions, they may stem from the same cause or issue, but you sure as hell aren't treating all cancers in diagnosis or analysis the same way just because they stem from the same issue. They should be two separate conditions with acknowledgement that they may stem from the same cause.

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 10:06:37 AM No. 2171908

>>2171844
>But because the things I require are so minor, everyone thinks they’re unimportant and I should be able to make do without and then it’s surprised Pikachu when I suddenly go from 120% to 60%.
I feel this to my core. For me I just need less than 40 hours a week. But you'd think I'm asking them for the heavens. No I just need a day in the week extra to rest because I get tired so easily, but if the workplace is calm and lets me have my quiet corner I might be able to work more.

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 02:09:01 PM No. 2172082

>>2171182
Correct me if I‘m wrong but one seems like a very severe version of the other but seems to come from the same source

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 02:21:27 PM No. 2172101

File: 1726842087392.jpeg (1.02 MB, 1179x2224, IMG_3619.jpeg)

>>2171194
How is that a contradiction? Intellectual disability is defined by having an IQ level lower than 70 and struggling with daily living, which "Level 3" autistic people will meet.

It's the same condition but different presentation of symptoms/severity. Some autistic people will have intellectual disability, others won't. Some autistic people have severe sensory issues and others don't.

Anonymous 09/20/24 (Fri) 11:49:19 PM No. 2172814

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>>2170428
I would probably stick with my ADHD. If I had a choice I wouldn’t have it at all, but my quality of life is much better than my brother who has an autism diagnosis. Sure I fuck up because I read instructions too fast and struggle to really pay attention in most contexts. But I understand people well and am charismatic. People like me.
It’s the inverse for my brother. He doesn’t fuck up really, he does as he’s told and goes above and beyond. But he struggles in socializing and has lost out on multiple job opportunities due to it. He doesn’t have a great support system in his friends. He has no long term relationships to speak of. People give me a lot of grace in my fuckups because they like me. Whereas for my brother it is a constant struggle to continue to be employed because no one really enjoys working with him.

Humans are social creatures and there are few instances in life where we can really make it on our own. I struggled a lot with socializing when I was younger so I know on some level how isolating it is. I can’t imagine that following me throughout my life. Autism nonnies have my empathy, it must be really hard.

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 12:17:11 AM No. 2172850

i have adhd but i swear to god i can't stand other adhd people. it seems like everyone has gotten diagnosed within the past 2 or 3 years and none of them can shut up about it or not use it as an excuse. yes adhd is a disorder/learning disability but no, it doesn't mean you can just give up and expect everyone else to pick up your slack. you have to actually try and find ways to adapt and be functional. it will always be harder for us, but that's just life. i feel like i've spent my entire life working harder than everyone else and not letting this disorder define me only for everyone to suddenly decide that actually adhd means that you can't function like a normal person and if anyone has any expectations of you they're a violent ableist. delete tiktok, stop smoking weed, get a planner and stop acting like fucking children. GOD.

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 04:15:51 AM No. 2173072

>>2172850
>it doesn't mean you can just give up and expect everyone else to pick up your slack. you have to actually try and find ways to adapt and be functional.
This, it's difficult but it's doable

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 08:17:01 AM No. 2173220

>>2172082
>one seems like a very severe version of the other but seems to come from the same source
I don't think so with the example given in >>2171182 of "difficulty to maintain eye-contact" often seem to be described by high functioning autists to come from finding eye-contact scary or uncomfortable because it feels too intimate, while the "level 3 mute and doesn't know eye contact exists" is not aware eye-contact is a thing because that part of the brain doesn't work correctly and doesn't see it as a social thing at all. Those are completely different at the core.

The high functioning autist would have to genuinely feel nothing from eye-contact, but they actively feel uncomfortable because their brain do register it as a social thing and they just don't like it so they avoid it.

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 08:34:49 AM No. 2173238

>>2172101
>How is that a contradiction?
I think because first you said high and low functioning is on the same spectrum (so to speak), but then later you implied low functioning is actually high functioning autism + other disability where the "low function" would actually not be from autism then but the other disability. Which doesn't make sense as the other disability would make the person low function and they thus cannot be high functioning by definition? So then there is just "autism", but we all know what is currently called autism ranges from people like Elon Musk to flapping hands and being unable to speak. It seems like a messy definition to me.
And perhaps I am a heathen conspiracy theorist for saying this but the psychology field is full of shit, for example there's typically a very high co-morbidity with being trans listed for autism now which is clearly fucking bullshit they pulled out of their own woke asses. They went from trans being a rare mental illness to it now being a natural variation of gender, and sex isn't even real but is a spectrum that you can be on or off from and nothing makes sense. Going on a a tangent now but I also can't help but wonder how many fakers existed prior to social media became big and how they affected earlier studies. That kind of self-serving malingers have surely always existed.

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 08:40:51 AM No. 2173240

>>2172850
I'm an autist but I really feel for you with adhd in this current landscape. I think there are way more people faking adhd than autism right now. Every second person has adhd now and it's just not realistic. Of course since I don't have adhd I'm not allowed to criticize it, though I'm sure if I had adhd the same people would just call me a gatekeeper.
I even see it in the grown adults around me who have been living fully functionally their whole lives but at 45 years old suddenly claim to always have had adhd because of one or two minor things.

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 11:27:46 AM No. 2173347

I hate how autist communities will screech and piss themselves if you say you don't like autistic moids and call you a pickme autist or supposedly putting down other autists for neurotypical validation. I don't give a fuck about nts, I've been harassed and SAd by sex pest autistic moids, autistic moids are coddled 24/7 by society while autistic women get thrown around like toys. So no, I'm not going to be supportive of my "autistic brothers" when they would never be supportive towards me.

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 12:33:01 PM No. 2173375

>>2173347
Yeah, I went to a private school that was mostly for autists and while a couple of the girls could be the “tackleglomp yaoiiiii” brand of socially inept autist, I’d say that was really rare, and the majority of autistic girls were hygienic and empathetic and overall really pleasant to be around, maybe just a bit socially anxious or dorky. Meanwhile most autistic guys there reeked of ass sweat and garbage, had stained teeth and grease slicked hair, were repeatedly violent towards other students and teachers, and constantly engaged in extremely bad social issues like ripping ass in front of other people, loud burping, scratching their balls, taking their shoes off and putting disgusting dirty socks with holes up on lunch tables, throwing massive violent tantrums where they’d fling themselves on the floor, and overtly and egregiously sexually harassing the girls “can I touch your tits” etc. Almost all autistic guys I have met take zero care of themselves and believe the world revolves around them, that everyone wrongfully conspires to hate and abandon them, that people giving needed social critique or reacting badly means that all those people are terrible and so on.
And the adult male autists I‘ve met are mostly assholes who complain about their bitch moms making them do dishes, while having their mom feed them tendies and drive them around at age 35. A couple of them I knew of were booted from jobs and/or banned from entering certain locations because of sexual harassment and stalking. That or they’re 6’3” 300lb troons named Artemis Evangelion. Quite frankly as autistic women I see no reason we should innately accept these losers as being our true equivalents.

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 12:33:11 PM No. 2173376

>>2173347
This. Autistic girls and women are autistic moids’ primary targets. They think they’re entitled to us, both sexually and in the sense of emotional labour, because we “of all people, should understand”. That solidarity never goes the other way, though, and if we expect any kind of reciprocation then that’s ableism.
Autistic women are expected to empathise with autistic men because we’re autistic but autistic men can’t be expected to empathise with autistic women because they’re autistic. Logic!

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 12:41:58 PM No. 2173382

>>2173376
kek, stealing this argument. based
>>2173375
i was somehow both tackleglomp yaoi minecraft autistic girl and hygienic empath girl

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 01:33:34 PM No. 2173432

>>2173382
Probably because most autistic women who aren’t seriously cognitively disabled in other ways are generally capable of acting civilized, thoughtful, and reasonably clean/groomed, because of how women are socialized compared to men. We might struggle socially and with sensory issues but still mostly don’t use it as an excuse to go around living like animals and shitting on the entirety of human society’s basic decencies like “don’t reek up a room with the stench of your pissjar gooner cave reek.” The way moids REEK up public nerd spaces is really something.

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 01:48:42 PM No. 2173448

>>2173220
Thanks for explaining. If each level is so very different from the core I do see a reason to completely differentiate between high and low functioning as disorders but I‘m not sure, neither am I an expert at all.
I just want to know why, even if different at the core, each level relates with the others symptom wise.

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 01:56:18 PM No. 2173462

What do you think about the term „low-functioning“ being seen as offensive?

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 02:52:49 PM No. 2173554

>>2173347
Didn't even know I was autistic myself at the time but every male autist I was stuck being near through school or early on shit jobs was a copy and paste default unwashed creep. Stalker tendencies, obsessively crushing on some poor girl at all times and everyone around is made painfully aware of it with their transparent pervy games. Trying to get as touchy as possible and maybe accidently brush against a boob. Pushing boundaries and their own luck with that bs. Casually talking about how much they masterbate and then flipping the question around thinking women will gladly describe masturbation habits right back. Liars (who'd weirdly claim that lying is impossible with autism??) and wannabe manipulators but thankfully so bad at it that they have a whole force field around them that'll help to repel most people.

Slobs in every sense who'd sure as hell always set their stalker sights on women who're clean, presentable, smell nice, dress clean and are pleasant. Amazing how they can spot standards in others and not apply any of that same shit to themselves.

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 05:27:39 PM No. 2173899

>>2173240
that's interesting because from my perspective, autism is now more commonly faked. i think because adhd is still seen as a funny quirk by many people whereas autism is more recognized as a serious disability. both are pretty common for fakers because both are permanent and considered disabilities so it's like the goldmine for people who want to remain permachildren and never take responsibility for themselves.

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 05:36:00 PM No. 2173909

>>2173899
oh also sorry to double post but it's also very telling to me that adhd fakers almost never remember that adhd includes hyperactivity. hyperactivity is much harder to fake because in order to fake it you would have to remember to do it all the time, even subconsciously, and also make yourself look like an idiot. fakers will sometimes talk about fidgeting as if it's the same as being hyperactive when in reality hyperactivity is much more than that and includes every part of your life. so almost no content on tiktok or social media mentions this even though it is THE defining feature of adhd and 70% of people with adhd display it.

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 08:41:32 PM No. 2174207

File: 1726951292336.png (2.01 MB, 1420x1280, 1000003112.png)

>some of the people closest to me think i might have autism
>ehh, i may have a few autistic traits but there's a genetic link with autism so its probably unlikely
>visit my family for the first time in 4 years
>dad has meltdowns almost every day getting upset about seemingly nothing or completely normal things
well damn

Anonymous 09/21/24 (Sat) 08:55:52 PM No. 2174261

>>2173462
I think it's high-functioning people being offended, because low-functioning autists don't even know they're autists (or that they're human or anything really). Levels 1s need to stfu about what's "offensive" for 3s. They can't just decide that.

Anonymous 09/22/24 (Sun) 07:46:00 AM No. 2174820

>>2173462
It's only a specific crowd on the side of woke who gets offended over it. They're the same people who argued "it's not disabled, it's differently abled!" until disabled people were like "actually that's stupid, we are disabled and that's ok, stop trying to make it sound cute and inspiring" so now they all think "differently abled" is a slur instead.
Literally the same group of people. They have a superiority + savior complex and try to find offensive things to complain about so they can one-up people with how good and woke they are.

Anonymous 09/22/24 (Sun) 08:08:03 AM No. 2174829

>>2173899
>that's interesting because from my perspective, autism is now more commonly faked. i think because adhd is still seen as a funny quirk by many people whereas autism is more recognized as a serious disability.
I think the more extreme cases go for faking autism so they're a bit more visible, but on average there are more adhd fakers because they can get away with it without too much effort. The theatrics needed to fake autism for a non-autist usually also comes with being attention-seeking, such as Jill/pixilocks. While for adhd it's usually just being like "oops forgot to do a thing once, very adhd of me". And it's socially acceptable to call yourself "a bit adhd" now, less so with autism though I've heard that too once or twice.

What's funny is just the other day I saw yet another content creator I've been following making a "coming out" video about recently being diagnosed with adhd. This is yet another person who has been a full-time content creator for over a decade, all on his own. Scripting, filming, editing, traveling for videos, making collabs etc and still never missing a single deadline, always consistent. I'm sorry but where is the adhd struggle? I know social media doesn't show the whole picture but if you're so put together that your life is 100% normal and functional for more than a decade without any help or support… you just don't need a diagnosis, it means nothing.

I might be wrong here but I think average normie people like to think they have adhd as an excuse to why they're not perfect or excellent. It's their modern version of how old men would go "I could have been a pro football player IF ONLY it wasn't for…" and for them it's "if only it wasn't for my adhd". But of course some of the blame is also on whoever diagnosed obvious cases of normies, I think some of them enjoy handing out diagnoses like candy and telling themselves they're saving lives.

Anonymous 09/22/24 (Sun) 08:41:32 AM No. 2174842

>>2174829
Right, I see a lot of normal people using adhd as an excuse for being a bit scatterbrained or not being 100% productive all the time, and a lot of people don’t even see it as a real disability. In contrast, the autism fakers tend to be more committed to the malingering lifestyle. To many people ‘autism’ still means ‘retard’ so casually dropping into a conversation with your boss that your autism has been acting up lately teehee sets off way more red flags than blaming adhd. The autism fakers I know who have jobs expect to be celebrated for managing to hold a job at all, even if they’re massively underachieving compared to their standard pre-autism faking.

Anonymous 09/22/24 (Sun) 12:07:28 PM No. 2174944

im so fucking sick of being a sperg bros… genuinely there are some parts that i like and feel like normies are missing out on, like i am grateful for my senses and attunement to the creeping crawling creatures of the world such as ants and termites, but overall im not sure if its worth being this insanely lonely. i cant go on dates because i sperg out and leave if the other person tries to touch me in any way because i get so exhausted from trying to seem regular that i cant even pretend to tolerate a stranger touching me. i love the beautiful world and all the things in it but i feel like a ghost sometimes
is there sperg conversion therapy? kind of a joke but kind of serious, i just wish i was normal. i was diagnosed as a child but pulled from therapy until i became unmanageable in my teens, and what i got into then was mostly crisis management stuff not sperg stuff. never went back as an adult because i find it all to be a huge waste of time and money. i worry its too fixed now and im doomed to loneliness

Anonymous 09/22/24 (Sun) 01:10:11 PM No. 2174986

i always relate a lot to cyborgs and robots in movies. especially if they're cool murder cyborgs.

Anonymous 09/22/24 (Sun) 02:28:35 PM No. 2175093

>>2174842
>using being scatterbrained to say they have ADHD
one of my eternal pet peeves. I feel like a borderline retard sometimes because of muh adhd, and I (and many others) have suffered greatly as a child especially because of it. It’s not quirky and fun and it’s not cute. I’m sure other nonnas ITT have felt the constant struggle of it. Being at all smart but having adhd is fucking awful also because you constantly are being told “no you’re not” by your own brain and behaviors. Sorry to vent in response to your post kek I’m just having one today. Normally I manage it pretty well without meds and lots and lots of fitness and some weed but sometimes when something bad happens or something out of my routine that’s too much to handle I just freeze and lay there like a box and it’s frustrating because I know I’m not a full retard but god does my brain seem to want me to be sometimes

Anonymous 09/22/24 (Sun) 03:29:17 PM No. 2175169

Kind of random but I wondered what others thought about it. Recently on the subject of children with severe disabilities and/or emotional issues, I saw the claim (from a parent) that sometimes they'll be diagnosed with autism simply because that's the easiest one to do and that way the child and parents will be able to receive different forms of support they won't be able to access without any official diagnosis. So you'll see severely emotionally disturbed children who get the label of level 3 autism simply because it's the easiest to start with, and anything else can be tacked on later. I didn't get the feeling it might later be removed either, so instead it's autism because they needed something while the child gets support and more testing and honestly any severe disability will present traits that are part of level 3 autism.

Anonymous 09/23/24 (Mon) 08:20:03 AM No. 2175995

>>2174820
>calling rejected woke terms slurs
lol this happened with the term "latinx" too

Anonymous 09/23/24 (Mon) 07:05:01 PM No. 2176488

Tell me if I'm overreacting. I keep thinking about one thing my female coworker told me not long after I started working in our department for the first time. It's been like 2 years and since then she became nice to me, but because of those weird words I could never look at her "clearly" and trust her fully, see her as a potential colleague etc. So when I first started working, nobody told me shit basically, the instructions weren't very clear, and it wasn't just my problem, because back then they never told new people, for example, until what time certain orders need to be finished. Each had a cut off time, but nobody told us that, and then they were getting angry at us for not doing something fast enough etc. My problem was amplified by my autism. So one time I didn't finish some orders before it was my time to go home, so I left them to my coworker, who was on the evening shift; that's something we just do to this day, we leave the job for people from next shift if we won't finish it on time. So she was angry at me for not doing enough and because she didn't had much time left to finsh it before cut off time (in reality she still had like 1,5 hour to finish it, which I didn't know back then, and now I think it was enough time to finish it no problem, but even if it wasn't, I don't think it would justify the way she spoke to me). So after she took the papers from me, she turned away and basically barked at me
>I should stick that into your throat
I froze and I didn't respond at all, because I couldn't really understand that level of agression and how could she say something like this to someone who was basically a stranger. Seemed really unhinged. So yeah, it's been 2 years and I still think about. And like, she can be very nice sometimes, but if you really disagree on something with her, her "other" side crawls out really quickly.
So, do you think I keep circling back to those words because of my autistic tendency to overthink stuff, or was there really something vile about she said? Also, I remember that when I admitted to her I'm autistic, she said something among the lines "Really? I can't believe it, you don't seem stupid!". And after some time, when I reminded her her words, she said "What?! There's no way, I would never say something like this!" I noticed some "normal" people have a really hard time remembering what they actually said to me, and then act shocked or offended when I remind them. But I always remember. I remember everything kids said to me when they bullied me when I was 11. Just everything. I bet my coworker wouldn't remember her words about sticking papers into my throat either.

Anonymous 09/23/24 (Mon) 07:45:08 PM No. 2176520

File: 1727120708272.jpg (60.92 KB, 1024x576, 1000065409.jpg)

>>2175995
It's just that it really sounds like a slur because it isn't even something made by the people that are being described by the words.
Like, I don't care how many good intentions someone may have, but calling me a neurodivergent doesn't even make sense, it's just someone grabbing every mental condition ever and putting them in a basket that when asked, you will have to explain autism and why you're actually autistic and not a schizo or that you don't have OCD.
Like, isn't it easier to just say autistic? Or to say oh yeah, I have ADD? Like if everyone really went full retard like
>I'm a neurodivergent latinx that's big bodied!
It would be obnoxious because then you have to explain what can't be seen, like being autistic and not a bpd-chan or why you're a latina if you "don't look" latina enough.
Plus, if again, it was made by ourselves, like maybe it would make sense to use the "inclusive" terms, but they're made by people that "have a friend" or "have a family member" with some condition, disability or anything that makes them different to themselves, and that makes them uncomfortable and they use the "non-inclusive" terms with bad intentions, they know this, so they feel guilty and create "softer" terms to be seen as social justice warriors that just want to help.

Anonymous 09/23/24 (Mon) 08:06:23 PM No. 2176542

>>2176488
>I should stick that into your throat
that's really vile ans something you should never say to your coworkers. if she really had issues she should have told you less violently or brought it up to someone else.
>And like, she can be very nice sometimes, but if you really disagree on something with her, her "other" side crawls out really quickly.
it doesn't sound like you're wrong at being scared of her.
> I noticed some "normal" people have a really hard time remembering what they actually said to me, and then act shocked or offended when I remind them. But I always remember. I remember everything kids said to me when they bullied me when I was 11. Just everything. I bet my coworker wouldn't remember her words about sticking papers into my throat either.
People usually don't specifically remember how they hurt other people but victims will remember how they were hurt. Autistic people also remember things differently, so you might be more prone or sensitive to recalling this stuff too. I'm sorry nonna.

Anonymous 09/23/24 (Mon) 08:58:46 PM No. 2176598

>>2176488
I don’t think you’re overreacting, that would really bother me too and if it happens frequently it sounds like she has some anger issues. I used to have a boss who’d flip like this out of nowhere when something upset him and it was actually scary.

>I noticed some "normal" people have a really hard time remembering what they actually said to me, and then act shocked or offended when I remind them. But I always remember. I remember everything kids said to me when they bullied me when I was 11. Just everything.
Same here. I have a very good memory for things people say, not just the negative stuff but trivial things as well that nobody else ever remembers. I wish people would just admit they don’t remember something instead of insisting that they never said it and accusing me of making things up. Sometimes I doubt myself so much that I look up old emails or chatlogs to confirm and so far I’ve been 100% right about what was said every time, but I realise that showing up days later waving a decade old chatlog around would make me seem pretty unhinged so I usually try to drop it for my own mental health’s sake.

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 05:36:05 AM No. 2177346

>>2173909
I mean there is inattentive-type adhd (which was previously called add)

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 07:32:30 AM No. 2177430

>>2176520
>I don't care how many good intentions someone may have, but calling me a neurodivergent doesn't even make sense, it's just someone grabbing every mental condition ever and putting them in a basket
Same nona. I am not neurodivergent, because it's a nonsense word that means nothing. It doesn't even mean "disabled" because they include things like depression, someone with light tics, likely trans people too. Anything they think means "not a boring basic person, I'm special so my brain is different"

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 07:42:58 AM No. 2177441

>>2176488
>I noticed some "normal" people have a really hard time remembering what they actually said to me, and then act shocked or offended when I remind them.
Happens to me all the time! I constantly have to sit through normies telling me the same things over and over because they don't remember it's the 5th time they're telling me the same story. And when I reference something they said just a week or so ago they act like they have no idea what I'm talking about even though we had a full conversation about it

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 08:32:34 AM No. 2177476

What are some issues/symptoms that definitely stem from your ASD but are rarely mentioned in relation to autism?

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 08:45:43 AM No. 2177488

>>2177430
ND is the ‘queer’ of mental health.

>>2177441
Do you also get people who get weirded out when you reference something they told you a while ago but forgot telling you about? During social skills training (lol) they told us that we should do this because it shows people we’re interested and thoughtful, but in practice people seem to think it’s creepy. Especially because there’s always a major imbalance between me and others where I know/remember a lot of information about them (that they forgot they ever told me) but they know next to nothing about me because 1) they don’t ask, 2) they don’t listen and 3) they don’t remember. Nowadays I pretend not to remember things people tell me just so they don’t look at me like some obsessed stalker but then they end up telling me the exact same stories over and over.

>>2177476
I have major issues with interoception, which is a known trait in people with ASD, but not a single mental health professional ever picked up on it in my decade+ of being in The System and I rarely see/hear people discuss it. It’s probably the main thing I struggle with on a daily basis and it was a major revelation when I found out that this was a thing with a name. I pretty much had to find out about it myself through googling “why can’t I tell the difference between hungry/cold/hot/angry/sad/tired autism”.

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 08:49:53 AM No. 2177489

>>2177488
>I have major issues with interoception, which is a known trait in people with ASD, but not a single mental health professional ever picked up on it
That's interesting, because my therapist just recently explained this issue to me and since then I've been working on it. I can't give proper advice just yet but I work a lot with timers, e.g. checking every 2 hours if I have eaten/gone to the bathroom yet.

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 08:57:46 AM No. 2177495

>>2177489
I was diagnosed over a decade ago so hopefully awareness of this issue has improved since then. I also suspect I just got really unlucky with the psychologists I was sent to see as a kid. All they did was ask me why I cried so much and then they got impatient with me when I told them that I didn’t understand it either. They just wrote me off as if I was being difficult and withholding information on purpose.

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 09:04:44 AM No. 2177498

>>2173375
Stuff like this makes me feel grateful that the autistic moids in my family are meticulous and borderline fussy about hygiene kek.

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 09:20:04 AM No. 2177509

>>2177476
idk, whatever the fuck handflapping is called but not cute? are they tics? i used to have really retarded compulsions when i got stressed that included sniffing my fingers, rolling my eyes upwward and downward and to the side so hard it made my eyes hurt, squishing my fingers along my jaw, jumping on the bed etc
now my spergy energy-draining thing is pacing, i have to fight really hard not to bolt into a run and literally sprint around like a tard when i'm excited, i have mostly been able to contain it to pacing or even just forcing myself to sit still like when im at work.

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 09:35:43 AM No. 2177521

This is so random but I was reading a thread on here and someone was like “well obviously you are autistic I can tell by your interest in Lolita” when a person was trying to defend Jill. Is Lolita considered an autistic style choice if so why? Do people really assume that if someone is dressed in Lolita they are autistic or was that one Nona just bitter she could never pull it off? I thought autism didn’t have a “look”

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 10:01:26 AM No. 2177534

>>2177521
i don't know that much about lolita, but it seems like the community is extremely focused on coordinating clothes and what sort of accessories are allowed to an obsessive degree, so i could see assuming that.

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 10:08:18 AM No. 2177537

>>2177521
i would assume a high probability of autism, not in a judgy way though. it's a rigidly specific style that always looks a bit "off" unless you're doing a professional fashion shoot and are skinny and asian.

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 10:16:05 AM No. 2177542

>>2177521
There are a lot of autistic women into lolita, and not just self-diagnosed TikTok trenders. My comm used to have a number of level 2 autistic women who’d get dropped off at our meets by their caretakers, which was incredibly awkward for everyone involved because none of us were trained to deal with it when things went wrong.
I think it’s the overlap between weeb shit and princessy dresses that’s irresistible to a certain subset of autistic girls and the vast majority of them are into sweet, but there’s a few into the other substyles too. Obviously it won’t appeal to people whose sensory issues prohibit fussy or restrictive clothing, but for some of us who don’t have such a big issue with it it’s like catnip. I actually stopped attending meet-ups because a significant subset of community members didn’t know how to behave in public and turned the meets into miniature anime conventions.

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 11:12:30 AM No. 2177568

>>2177542
>>2177521
>like catnip
Kekk that's exactly what it is. I realized the connection was real and not just merely a probability thing (weebshit + kawiwi + nerdy collectors) when an autistic woman i know who couldn't be less feminine if she tried (only wears extremely practical clothing, outdoorsy, zero 'feminine' interests) started gushing about it. She has absolutely no interest in fashion, never discusses it, but something about women wearing cupcake dresses instantly activated her brain

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 11:59:28 AM No. 2177606

>>2177495
Ah, so sorry nonna. Sadly this is very common with women in therapy, as you're probably aware of. I myself was diagnosed very recently with ASD even though I've been in therapy for about 7 years. Classic "It's probably anxiety, depression, OCD and everything else BUT autism because she's a girl" situation.
Things have improved luckily and I hope you can find help if these things are still impairing your daily life.

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 12:03:55 PM No. 2177610

>>2177509
Holy shit you just described my exact mannerisms. Ever since I was little I had the urge to run and pace, jumping on the bed comes in combination with this (I've broken three beds because of this).
That and "weird/dumb/ugly looking" stims like kicking the air and squeezing my bottom lip together.
Makes me mad that "stimming" is seen as a "cute" thing now because if I did this excessively in public I'd be clocked as a retard immediately.

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 08:49:31 PM No. 2178151

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>>2177610
KEK i have also broken beds by jumping on them anon. help. i hate it. like i said i can at least control myself to not run around and jump (partly forcing myself to since now i live above someone) but i still have to pace if i'm home. if i'm at work i can usually control it but sometimes i have to let it out so i'll wander around pretending like i'm looking for something.
i forgot it was even called "stimming" since i've never heard a professional use that term, just tiktok tards who think dancing to music is a "stim."

Anonymous 09/24/24 (Tue) 11:33:33 PM No. 2178301

File: 1727220812762.png (1.01 MB, 1284x1584, eaa48d6b34d8680313247b0d2a22b2…)

>>2175093
There are so many adhd women I have known who thought they had early onset dementia before getting diagnosed. Being scatterbrained can be truly debilitating.
>>2177488
>Do you also get people who get weirded out when you reference something they told you a while ago but forgot telling you about? During social skills training (lol) they told us that we should do this because it shows people we’re interested and thoughtful, but in practice people seem to think it’s creepy.
I'm an adhdnona but I also have a great memory about people. The way to make it not weird is phrasing it as a question and connecting it to the current conversation. In a conversation about the weather you could say "You said you went to school in Connecticut right? How was the weather there this time of year?" for example.
>>2178151
I use to think I didn't have any hyperactivity symptoms until I saw my self-view on zoom kek. I'm also a big pacer at home, sometimes for hours at a time.

Anonymous 09/25/24 (Wed) 12:12:40 AM No. 2178376

>>2177488
>Do you also get people who get weirded out when you reference something they told you a while ago but forgot telling you about? During social skills training (lol) they told us that we should do this because it shows people we’re interested and thoughtful, but in practice people seem to think it’s creepy.
I've also had social skills training kek but yes, I tell them something they said and they're shocked and weirded out I rememeber something so far back. It wasn't always that long ago, but it can range from a few weeks to things from my childhood. Fair enough if it was like 10 years ago though, I guess. I know several people who straight up don't remember their own childhoods, and while that seems freaky and weird to me I guess that's fairly common.

I've currently got 3 methods of dealing with people repeating themselves.
1 is to go "oh yeah I think you mentioned that before" which can make them stop repeating it. I kinda have to act like they only mentioned it briefly once before though or they get weirded out, though I think them realizing they don't remember something is what freaks them out.
2 is to use the opportunity to seem smart kek. Like if they start telling me a cool fact I get to continue on it going "oh yeah the A that does B, and really neat how they also do C". And they get really impressed and think I'm smart, fully forgetting they're the one who told me all of this last month and I knew nothing before that.
3 is to use the opportunity to practice social skills. Because I already know what they're going to say I can tailor questions and work on when I should be replying or nodding and look interested and such to see how they react and how/if it's different than previous times they told the same story.

I have aspie and adhd friends who claim to have really bad memories, but from my perspective they don't have bad memories compared to normies and are pretty much exactly the same. And the fact that they know they're forgetting something already seems better than the normies who aren't even aware they forget things.
>Nowadays I pretend not to remember things people tell me just so they don’t look at me like some obsessed stalker but then they end up telling me the exact same stories over and over.
Another thing I do is I listen to take note of the details they've changed in the story kek there's always something that keeps getting slightly more exaggerated. I've considered embracing the "stalker" part and secretly take notes of the dates they told me the story. Just for personal interest, I wonder if there's a certain time period it takes for them to repeat the same one

Anonymous 09/25/24 (Wed) 06:03:10 PM No. 2179302

I wanted to add to that post >>2176488 I feel like nobody respects me and nobody takes me seriously. I dont know if it's something about the tone of my voice or my face, I don't know. I'm shit at defending myself because of that because I got so used to people denying or devaluing my opinion and my side of the story, not to mention my emotions. I couldn’t defend myself at school or at home, I can't defend myself at work even when I'm sure I'm right, I mean like the double standards for example, like if someone else makes a mistake, it's played off as a joke, but when I make a mistake, I get eye rolls or cold treatment etc. I was also bullied by one of my coworkers for a year and she spread gross rumors about me, but my boss didn't really believe me. I barely talked at work for the first year, then I opened a little but still didn't talk as much at work as others. But I get reprimended for talking, meanwhile my coworkers are not, probably because our shift leader likes them and she also talks with them like a "friend". I once told my boss it was unfair, how for example our shift leader was talking about hotels for vacation for like 20 minutes with one of my coworkers (the one who bullied me) when we were pretty busy, and my boss called my shift leader and asked if that was true, and she basically denied it, so case closed. I feel like I antagonize people without even knowing it. Other's speak their mind, even scream or cuss out loud, but they're seen as workers with "personality". I go against the herd and speak my mind once, and I'm treated like a child, a retard, or an antagonist. My whole life people either treated me like a pet and talked to me like I was a child, or they seen me as an antagonist who did everything out of bad will. The only people in my life who spoke with respect to me was my therapist, and in the past my literature teacher, whom I really miss. The later also appreciated my intelligence and knowledge and autistic obsession with specific topics. But everyone else… I'm so tired of this. Even people from work who used to be nice to me, the moment I oppose to something (like I refuse to help because I feel like I don't have enough time for my own task, even though I refuse very rarely) or quesion their behavior, they do 180 on me and say things like "watch your tone when you speak to me" or go to my boss and say I said something in a rude tone, while I was totally sure it was neutral (but I know someone could read that differently). I can't do banter so I'm never a part of "fun" group conversations. I can do one on one conversations and then I'm really good at specific topics, but like 2 people in the enitre department can appreciate that and talk with me on those topics because they also interest them and I can see they enjoy it. I feel like everybody is playing a game and everyone knows the rules except me. Again, those cases when I was openly confronted with someone didn't happen often, but after 3 years of working there, all those feelings piled up in me and I feel like I'm about to blow. I was one of the fastes workers in the past, sometimes the fastest, but I grow so tired of the treatment and double standards, I became slower. Not intentionally, I just don't have the strenght I used to have, I can barely get out of bed, and after work I go straight to bed in my clothes. Every day looks the same. I sleep on the weekends.
Last week at work was really bad. And before that I was sick for one week and put on antibiotics, but two of my coworkers questioned it and thought I was faking it because apparently I don't care about the job anymore and my boss also sees "lack of motivation". So I said I want to have a group conversation about it, and my boss said the manager will be also present, and I want every coworker who talks behind my back to say those things outloud and also show my point of view. It will probably happen on friday and I will probably make a retard out of myself, but at this point I'm so done. I have one person on my "side", so I feel a little better, I'm less afeaid of this meeting.
I really feel retarded after years of this treatment. I will never feel like an adult. Sometimes I'm afraid I will just break in public and fall on the floow and start screaming

Anonymous 09/25/24 (Wed) 06:44:44 PM No. 2179338

I hate being an autistic woman at times. I'm 27, on the dole, and still live with my mum because I'm too retarded to live on my own or have a job. It's so lonely and isolating and every time I try and do something normie (go to university, get a job etc,) I end up having a huge sperg meltdown because I can't handle being around other people and end up quitting. I'm tired, nonnies. Male autists get away with EVERYTHING- from the retard who raped me at university because he was autistic so he didn't understand what he was doing!!! Fuck off, autistic women know not to rape people. The university let him get away with it too because muh autism. Autistic moids will rape, sexually harass, have straight up obsessions with Hitler and shite like that and it's excused. But the moment an autistic woman has a meltdown because of sensory overload (because people are INCAPABLE OF NOT FUCKING TOUCHING ME WHEN THEY TALK TO ME) and we're evil bitches, selfish, miserable etc. which is clearly worse than anything moids can do!! I fucking hate this

Anonymous 09/25/24 (Wed) 06:51:19 PM No. 2179343

>>2179302
>I feel like nobody respects me and nobody takes me seriously. I dont know if it's something about the tone of my voice or my face, I don't know. I'm shit at defending myself
My autist friend (i'm also an autist) is a bit like this too and it's painful to watch. Both to see her get run over by people who don't respect her, but also that she "lets" them do it. I hate how even when she's in the right she'll just apologize and lie to please them. I hate when I can tell she lies to me because she thinks that's what I want to hear and that she's not allowed to disagree with me…
But I digress. I'm sorry you get treated that way nona. I know it's hard but I think you should seriously start looking into changing job. You just can't stay around toxic shitheads. If that's impossible, I suggest you join some kind of hobby group. I don't care what it is, but preferably something that gets you out like once a week to meet likeminded people. You need more positive people in your life.

Anonymous 09/25/24 (Wed) 07:10:55 PM No. 2179369

>>2179338
>still live with my mum because I'm too retarded to live on my own or have a job.
Same age and I also live with my mum and work part time. My mom is great though, I like living with her so I have no complaints. I'm open with still living with my mom, only teenagers look at me like I'm a loser who should have left home at 18. Meanwhile all adults are telling me "that is SO great, stay for as long as you can. Wish I could have stayed with my parents for longer".
>every time I try and do something normie (go to university, get a job etc,) I end up having a huge sperg meltdown because I can't handle being around other people and end up quitting.
What would make you able to go? Can you take up online courses instead or find some autist program where they allow you to work in peace not around people?
>Male autists get away with EVERYTHING
I'm sorry that douchebag hurt you. That guy should get a bullet to the head, and I really mean that, but I still have to say that making autist men out to be a scapegoat won't help you. Abusive males will abuse, autism or not. Not having autism makes them a lot more able and willing to abuse and manipulate people, most genuine autist men are asexual and obsessed with trains and don't know women exist. The university people who let the guy get away with it aren't autists, and sadly I think the guys autism was irrelevant and they would have claimed the moid was innocent in any way they could because rapist moids defend other rapist moids no matter what. He could have a chipped toe nail and they would have claimed that was enough to let him get away.

Anonymous 09/25/24 (Wed) 09:28:54 PM No. 2179523

>>2171163
I get how you feel anon, I'm the exact same. Remembering all the dumb stuff I've done makes me shudder so much. My sister is higher functioning than me, and when she talks about masking I absolutely don't get it. She also got diagnosed later, and I'm a little envious she got so far in life with her masking abilities.

Anonymous 09/26/24 (Thu) 09:39:44 AM No. 2180007

>>2178151
I didn't have a word for it before either but I accepted "stimming" for myself since my therapist actually brought it up first. I hate using that word in public because of the tiktok tards you just mentioned though.

Anonymous 09/26/24 (Thu) 04:06:52 PM No. 2180295

I just started a new job and pretty much everyone is ‘normal’. Once again I’m the weird girl and although I have nothing in common with most of my colleagues it’s still making me angry to see the cycle continue. I feel happiest when I’m alone and have a lot of fun hobbies that give me joy - I’m as close to self sufficient as possible - but I can’t come to terms with the fact most other people see me as this pathetic, ugly loser because I dress weird and don’t have any status markers. Ugh.

Anonymous 09/26/24 (Thu) 04:09:27 PM No. 2180299

>>2179302
god, nonny… I feel you absolutely and it’s infuriating to get treated like this. It’s like we, as autistic women, automatically have to work five times harder just to be seen as human. Your coworkers sound especially shitty and pathetic and I’m sorry you’re being pushed around by them.

Anonymous 09/26/24 (Thu) 05:24:31 PM No. 2180451

>>2180295
Of course most people will be normal, it's in the word. Why does it really matter that you're different? If you're nice and friendly people don't really care. Even if they judge you when first seeing you just talking to them nicely a few times changes their mind. My colleagues are all middle age people with families and normal interests, I'm a weird introverted alt fashion autist weeb gamer with brightly dyed hair and we all get along great.

You're literally creating this cycle for yourself. When you assume people see you as a pathetic ugly loser your attitude and body language will show that you have contempt for them, that you're judging them in a negative light, and that you're the one who finds them "repulsive" and don't want to associated with them. And in turn they don't like you back either.

>because I dress weird and don’t have any status markers.
You say this is a job but you're telling it like your colleagues are all immature 15 year olds at most. Normie adults just do not think that way at all. Unless you're talking about very high class people who look own on everyone else, which I honestly doubt. If you really hate it and think it's because of how you dress, then just get a handful of normie clothes to wear at work and dress however you like in private.

Anonymous 09/26/24 (Thu) 06:03:55 PM No. 2180558

>>2180451
sadly a lot of my colleagues act like 15 year olds and openly judge others for not having material things, because they “act weird” or don’t have designer clothes etc. I’m friendly to people but they still stay away from me so it feels a bit pointless - if I keep pushing to be nice to them it’ll come off as false and ingratiating, which isn’t what I want. Thankfully the older people here are nice and don’t talk over me or freeze me out, so there’s hope.

Anonymous 09/26/24 (Thu) 11:00:39 PM No. 2181313

being reminded i'm going to say stupid shit and embarrass myself for the rest of my life is hard. then i withdraw from the world and then i feel worse when i go out again.

Anonymous 09/27/24 (Fri) 12:49:20 AM No. 2181442

>>2181313
if it helps anon, everyone is so obsessed with themselves on average, for good or for bad, that even if you say stupid shit, as long as you aren't flamboyant and loud about how stupid you can be, you will get by unscathed and unnoticed most of the time.

Anonymous 09/27/24 (Fri) 03:51:35 AM No. 2181586

Hello nonnas, today I started seeing my therapist again after a long break and she asked me if I'd ever considered that I might be autistic.

There are a lot of autistic experiences that I also experience: sensory issues that lead to meltdown/shut down, being very "particular" about certain things, repetitive thought patterns, being uncomfortable doing something new that I haven't practiced for, and often feeling wrong or alien in relation to other people, feeling misunderstood, etc.

However, I'm very empathetic and even though I had issues socially as a kid, I can be outgoing now and make conversation pretty easily if I'm in the right mood for it. I can read faces, but I am very gullible and take everything at face value.

Some of the things itt I can't relate to at all: I have always been very preoccupied with what others think of me. I do think some social routines like small talk can be boring but I like talking to people for the most part. What do you nonnies think?

Anonymous 09/27/24 (Fri) 04:21:33 AM No. 2181610

>>2179369
ok and? I still hate autistic men

Anonymous 09/27/24 (Fri) 04:27:21 AM No. 2181617

Retarded that I'm smart enough that I basically don't have to study to get straight A's at uni but fundamentally cannot understand other people or connect with them in a way that matters. I feel like my mental stat plummets under observation too like I can get a 100 on a challenging calculus exam easy but am perceived as a retard at my wagie part time job because I get nervous running POS and fuck up while ringing up customers. So anytime I'm not in class I'm perceived as a retard and at worst people assume my incompetence is malicious/intentional when it's really something I try my best at but can't seem to help failing with.

Anonymous 09/27/24 (Fri) 04:30:30 AM No. 2181622

Honestly I understand that the fundamental of smooth social interaction/being perceived as "likable" is to just not say shit that ruins the vibe and 75% of the time I can do this. But every time I have to force myself to feign an attitude (like sure I might be able to even state my honest opinion as long as I sugarcoat it) I feel like I'm denying my own being and it hurts me. Any approval I receive for my acting is painful as consequence because it just reminds me that the actual me is not acceptable.

Anonymous 09/27/24 (Fri) 05:03:24 AM No. 2181659

>>2177521
I personally love lolita and i have autism so i guess i am not helping the allegations. I recall seeing a video made by a psychologist on youtube saying the a lot of autistic people generally have an attraction to alt stuff, so the correlation is very much real. I've always thought that if you spend a lot of your life being told you are weird, you won't have much issues indulging in a fashion that encapsulates weirdness in the eyes of normies.
>>2174842
Honestly, the memory loss has to be the part of adhd that makes me want to kill myself. It's humiliating forgetting shit somebody just told you 10 seconds ago and constantly having to ask people to repeat basic instructions. I wish every normie could experience how this feels like because it's honestly life ruining shit. Then you have people saying adhd is fucking fake, like for fucks sake.

Anonymous 09/27/24 (Fri) 12:29:08 PM No. 2182144

How the fuck to date as an autistic woman? I‘ve never enjoyed the company of a man and online I feel like I have to act like an NPC to have conversations on dating apps. I can only connect with people when rambling about retarded nerd shit but that just doesn’t work with men.

Anonymous 09/27/24 (Fri) 09:57:08 PM No. 2182847

>>2179343
>>2180299
ANONS I feel so proud of myself. Today everyone from our shift had 1 on 1 conversation with our team leader (it's like a yearly check in how the employee is doing) and I used it as an opportunity and basically told her EVERYTHING and I told her that I feel like nothing I say is taken seriously by others so I had an epiphany that I may as well fuck it and say everything I actually think and feel (that's literally what I said). And she was like "when if someone basically never comes to me, like you, but then you come and tell me all of this, it means something is actually happening". I had notes with me but I barely looked at them because words were just pouring out of me. I spoke for like an hour. I felt like she actually took it very seriously. And she said that she thinks I'm doing great and she has absolutely no problem with me as an eployee and she likes the fact that I'm finally more open and brave, and that my coworkers probably don't understand that change in me, because they were so used to me always saying "yes" to everything and not being assertive and doing extra job for others, that now they see me as an aggressor or something, but she doesn't see anything bad with my more defensive/assertive behavior. And when I told her what girls from my shift talked about others and me (implying that basically nobody but them works anymore and everyone else is slacking off, especially me, since I don't work as fast as a literal robot anymore, but a normal human) she said "Wow we really need this group conversation that you spoke about before". And we will have it on monday. She wrote everything I said down and then called my shift leader for a 1 on 1 conversation (the one who I felt was biased towards me) and they spoke for like 40 minutes. I felt so much better, like I lost some huge baggage. I'm not even afraid of this group conversation anymore, despite the fact everyone will be there, including the manager himself.
And the funny thing about the two female coworkers who talked shit behind my back when I was sick, and I pointed out to one of them how she's late to work literally every single day for the entire year but nobody calls her out on it because she's friendly with out shift leader - now for the past week they were coming like 5-10 minutes before work and staying for extra hours after work and cleaning every tiny piece of dust after themselves. It's all so performative, because the one who was always late never done that shit before KEK. But now they have to show they're such good workers and they care about the job so much. Meanwhile I work my normal tempo and I don't give a fuck anymore.

Anonymous 09/28/24 (Sat) 10:31:30 PM No. 2184994

>>2182847
Yesss that’s amazing! I’m so glad it’s going better for you now :)(no emoticons)

Anonymous 09/29/24 (Sun) 06:31:11 PM No. 2186418

>>2182847
Good job nona! I love that you did that for yourself. At this point you got your side out so even if the place stays toxic and you want to leave for a better job at least they can't pretend like they didn't know what was going on.

From my own autist point of view I think going through the experience of making complaints and having them heard in a meeting is really useful. Seeing how people react and what happens is super interesting. I had a similar experience but it wasn't at work. Finally getting heard meant a lot to me and it really did feel like I could finally "let go" and not give any fucks anymore. At the same time it gave me the energy to keep fighting. I love the calm and confident feeling of being ready to fight because I know for a fact I'm the one in the right and they're the ones who acted badly. It doesn't take any effort, I just have to be honest while they have to scramble and lie their way out.

Anonymous 09/30/24 (Mon) 12:23:51 PM No. 2187606

>>2181442
you're right and i remember this with strangers, but people you see regularly like classmates or colleagues will start seeing a trend of my stupidity and strangeness. my boss is forcing us to have our zoom cameras on and i can't stand zoom calls so i keep fidgeting and making strange faces during meetings kek.

Anonymous 09/30/24 (Mon) 06:54:09 PM No. 2188068

File: 1727722448605.mp4 (19.11 MB, 480x720, This TikToker Is FAKING 10+ Di…)

im so tired

Anonymous 09/30/24 (Mon) 06:56:24 PM No. 2188070

>>2181586
>However, I'm very empathetic and even though I had issues socially as a kid, I can be outgoing now and make conversation pretty easily if I'm in the right mood for it.
thats female social expectations that got beat into you. moids can be retarded and its fine.

Anonymous 09/30/24 (Mon) 08:57:43 PM No. 2188303

>>2188068
>has taken "at least 8" autism tests
>makes sure you know she always scores really high
>expecting to score high
>brags about the SHOCK of being scored "100% atypical"
God she is giving pixielocks energy so hard in the absolute worst way. I hate girls like her, they're clearly neurotypicals desperately wanting to be special and they decided whatever trendy disorder is it. They must have some sort of malingering condition, they're so obsessed with the idea of being X disorder that it's close to being a disorder in of itself. But even then, they're not actually different from normie girls who are obsessed with the idea that they're a "cherokee princess". They're not quite "mentally ill", just mentally unstable with a new interest.

Anonymous 09/30/24 (Mon) 11:28:50 PM No. 2188551

>>2184994
>>2186418
So yeah… we had this "group" meeting but without the manager, unfortunately, I wanted him to be there because some people wouldn't behave the way they did with him present, probably. But anyway, unfortunately the thing that I feared happened, and basically every time I tried to speak and give arguments, I was talked over or interrupted, one of the female coworkers is really loud (basically screaming) and she almost always speaks this way when someone disagrees with her, and she was talking over me and my friend basically all the time, and after some time we just stopped trying. Our team leader didn't openly side with anyone, she just said that all of us make drama and if we won't be able to work together she will have to mix teams or straight up send people to different departments. Our shift leader had tears in her eyes and couldn’t say anything of substance besides that all of us are guilty to some extent (which I openly agreed with). One of the coworkers was really rude to me, basically doing the typical mean girl behavior, with the facial expressions, mocking my words, or responding to me with stuff like "oh please" or "yeah sure" with ironic tone and basically talking to me like I was a child, like this was the kind of behavior I would expect from a 18 year old mean girl, not a 48 year old woman… And when I said I never went to complain about others until now, meanwhile people were often talking behind my back, she replied with "oh yeah because you're so innocent" with that fake baby voice. What the hell? It was really hard for me, because once I get interrupted and talked over that many times, I lose track, I just get so depressed I stop trying, I feel like I can't win anyway. Well, at least I told what I wanted to say to my team leader when we had that 1 on 1 conversation. Tomorrow I'm planning to ask her if it's possible to just move me to the other shift, without mixing anyone else (because then my coworkers would blame me for the mixing). I'm so sick of this place

Anonymous 10/01/24 (Tue) 11:28:46 AM No. 2189173

>>2188303
>I hate girls like her, they're clearly neurotypicals desperately wanting to be special and they decided whatever trendy disorder is it.
They're the same girls who pretended to be depressed and have anxiety when it was cool, but now these are too "normie" for them so they need to up it with something that looks more extreme like tics, neurological disorders or having alters. That mentioned… I'm pretty sure this girl fakes all of these things.

Anonymous 10/01/24 (Tue) 05:51:14 PM No. 2189496

>>2188551
jeez nonita your coworkers sound like a bunch of toddlers, i'm sorry. i hope you get out soon, guarantee the next place will be 10x better

Anonymous 10/01/24 (Tue) 06:36:47 PM No. 2189547

>>2188551
Your coworkers are actual idiots nonna, I'm so sorry that you're being put in a situation where you're forced to engage with their immaturity. Being 48 and like this is mind boggling, but I guess being a miserable asshole has not age limits. I pity the people she goes home to at the end of the day.
Are these the same women who were showing up to work late and creating more work for others every day? They sound like they have serious issues beyond being bullies that will follow them through life. Meanwhile once you are no longer in contact with them, their issues are no longer your problem. I hope you get what you ask for and are freed from them soon. Best wishes.

Anonymous 10/03/24 (Thu) 03:27:22 PM No. 2191931

I (autist) think I come across as very rude or dismissive to people, it's technically my fault but I can't help but be annoyed over being misinterpreted.

Anonymous 10/03/24 (Thu) 05:21:23 PM No. 2192016

>>2191931
Could be you, but also could be the other person being overly sensitive. I politely smiled at a guy to be friendly at my job, and he accused me of laughing at him to mock him. Not really in an mean way, but he took it as me laughing at him for asking a stupid question which I wasn't doing at all. It honestly hurt and annoys me that he thinks that's something I would do.

Anonymous 10/04/24 (Fri) 03:37:36 AM No. 2192833

>>2188068
Why do they always have this obnoxious personality that's so loud and annoying? I hate engaging with such people irl, they make my ears ring. The funny thing about these sorts is that they will feel super uncomfortable around autistic people who are borderline mute and highly introverted and don't respond to their obnoxious high energy. They are almost always highly normie when you meet them irl, they think liking nintendo and wearing docs makes them quirky.

Anonymous 10/04/24 (Fri) 05:22:57 AM No. 2192889

any other autists have this compulsive need to have people know nothing about you?
idk if it’s trauma or autism or ocd but i hate telling people things about me. i do everything in my power to not share any personal details about myself to anyone. i avoid and deflect any conversation that asks me about myself and i lie about a lot of things. i do it to keep everyone at a distance. i’m not interested in making friends. i also have zero energy to do any sort of masking of my autism anymore but somehow people still want to drill me for personal information about myself.

Anonymous 10/04/24 (Fri) 05:39:03 AM No. 2192902

File: 1728020343402.png (20.87 KB, 500x281, 412CACFB-F389-4272-9706-868CF5…)

>>2192889
Not an autist but an adhd anon. I purposely obfuscate details about myself with acquaintances and coworkers. It’s partly a trauma response from being stalked but also so I can better separate my work life from my personal. I work in a male dominated field and have no intention of my colleagues believing we are close or that they know anything about me. I have multiple long term and enriching friendships and don’t need more.

Anonymous 10/04/24 (Fri) 08:07:21 AM No. 2192958

>>2191931
I hate this too. But at least when they misinterpret an interaction I can strive to modify my behaviour so I don’t get misinterpreted next time. What really annoys me is that most of the time I’m not even interacting with these people and they project all sorts of shit onto me when I’m just minding my own business. People always assume I’m stuck up and think I’m better than them even though I wasn’t thinking about them at all. Even when I try to explain that, for example, the reason I don’t join them in the cafeteria is because the cafeteria is extremely overstimulating, they think I’m just making excuses and secretly hate them because they can’t imagine being badly overstimulated in a cafeteria. Having low EQ is supposed to be an autistic trait but in my experience, most neurotypical people can’t empathise with people who are very different from themselves, either. This doesn’t get labelled as low empathy because most people are like them and their projections and assumptions are statistically more likely to be correct. It’s frustrating how me having difficulty understanding them is my fault, but their having difficulty understanding me is also my fault just because I’m in the minority. I never have these issues with other hf autistic women.

Anonymous 10/04/24 (Fri) 09:59:55 AM No. 2193006

>>2192889
Yes but only with details too personal for my liking, I'm fine with superficial details. Ever since I was young I had trouble talking about myself and sharing details, which becomes an issue when it's with people that are meant to help. I can recognize it's an issue with vulnerability and having how much of a retarded loser I am exposed at least in the present, but I don't like being like this. I don't like lying either so I have to manage it around that. The issue is I'm so bad with people that I don't know what's considered "normal" to share and what's appropriate, particularly in relation to levels of closeness in different settings that I have no idea how to judge either. Then in turn when I don't share when I'm expected to, I fear people will think either I'm being disrespectful to them or that I'm closed off, cold and distant, which becomes an issue when I like the people in question.

Anonymous 10/04/24 (Fri) 12:46:46 PM No. 2193075

>>2192889
>any other autists have this compulsive need to have people know nothing about you?
Kind of? I compartmentalize every part of my life and hate when they cross over. My family is my family, they cannot know my friends or coworkers. My friends can't know each other, I only want to know them one on one. My coworkers are strictly work related and do not find out much about my personal life. Any club/activity I join has to be free from people I knew before, and I will only talk to them about the activity and in that context.

Anonymous 10/04/24 (Fri) 12:50:34 PM No. 2193077

>>2192958
>What really annoys me is that most of the time I’m not even interacting with these people and they project all sorts of shit onto me when I’m just minding my own business.
The amount of time my coworkers have told me random things and I just politely listened without saying anything, only for a third person coming in and describing everything as if "we" were saying all those things drives me nuts. It's always "WE were just saying how much the new guy Steve sucks" when I didn't agree at all and now this other person think I also hate Steve when I've never even met him.

The weird thing is everyone kinda likes me because they project their ideal personality onto me and pretend I agree with everything they say, and since I can't be bothered to speak up and correct them it just keeps going on.

Anonymous 10/04/24 (Fri) 01:49:27 PM No. 2193112

>>2193077
>The weird thing is everyone kinda likes me because they project their ideal personality onto me and pretend I agree with everything they say, and since I can't be bothered to speak up and correct them it just keeps going on.
Damn, tell me your secrets. With me it’s the opposite; people, particularly other women, project their own insecurities onto me and end up disliking me for things I never said or did but they think I might say or do. By the time my oblivious ass has figured out what’s going on it’s incredibly hard to convince them that I’m nothing like the image of me they’ve built up in their heads. I think maybe I try too hard to appear normal and pleasant and it registers as fake, so their minds fill in the blanks with whatever they’re most wary of instead of seeing through me and realising I’m just a dumbass sperg, idk. But then when I don’t mask, people think I’m rude anyway. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Anonymous 10/04/24 (Fri) 04:14:09 PM No. 2193277

>>2192889
Yes. I think I'm mildly schizoid as a result, I've never bothered to do anything about it because all I need are my close friends and family

Anonymous 10/05/24 (Sat) 09:36:38 AM No. 2194283

Here's something interesting that almost completely confirms my suspicion that my autism diagnosis isn't accurate:
I was color-coding a paragraph that an online friend had written, because I wanted to show her just how densely every sentence she writes is packed with submissive social signals.* I realised as I was writing it that this sort of intentional analysis of people's social cues is a totally alien experience to me. I can understand her tone and the social signals her words are giving off completely naturally as if it's channelled directly into my brain like a language I fluently understand. This is the opposite of the autistic experience.
*that might sound strange, but it's because I'm half friend half informal therapist and I was trying to call her attention to it so she can fight her severe christian "women must be submissive" indoctrination

Anonymous 10/05/24 (Sat) 09:36:57 AM No. 2194284

>>2193112
I think it's partly got to do with the fact that I'm directly interacting with them when this is happening. They're talking at me and I'm sort of nicely smiling and nodding along as if I cared. I learned that's the "correct" way to act friendly and respectful as a kid so it's stuck with me. So I'm guessing to them it comes across as if I think they're a super interesting person and that makes them happy.

I've also been told girls/women project onto me at first when they haven't ever talked to me. Usually it would be a friend of a friend who made up their mind about me, but then when they got to know me (because of that mutual friend) they'd learn I wasn't like they first had thought. I only know this because the mutual friends would find it funny to tell me what other people thought about me.

The downside is that sometimes men in particular also think I'm into them (I never am) because I appear more attentive and interested than other females and they aren't used to it. At least that's my theory. But on the flip side I think that makes the men like me more too, because they think a woman is interested in them so it gives them a confidence boost or something and they help me out more too kek so it's only really bothersome if they act on it

Anonymous 10/05/24 (Sat) 10:10:17 AM No. 2194308

>>2194283
I'm gonna jump into this too. I'm someone who was diagnosed with aspergers and is constantly doubting it. I can tell I'm not exactly normal and my brain doesn't function like the average persons. I see average people do things and I don't get why they'd do or think like that. But when I see other aspies and how they act it clicks in my brain that they act and think the same way I do… usually this is true for both male and female aspies I see. And I can see average people confused over their (to me) super obvious thought patterns and actions. So I know there is something there. However when I see other autists/asd/on the spectrum (usually online, but sometimes irl) I don't get that feeling. It goes back to not getting how their brains function either.

One thing I've always liked doing is analyzing words and texts (I'm esl and on a gossip forum so don't bully me for not being perfectly accurate with my text this time kek). And that's supposedly even a thing that points towards aspergers, having advanced reading and language skills is a sign for it. This has never fully added up to me, because how can I be an autist with social deficiency and also at the same time have MORE understanding in some forms of communication? And I do the same as you nona:
>I wanted to show her just how densely every sentence she writes is packed with submissive social signals
I point these things out to friends. Sometimes I feel like I'm way better at picking up these signals than even average people. Sometimes I see super obvious body language signs from people trying to manipulate me into doing what they want, signs that normal people don't seem to see at all. But then somehow I'm also still the one to later miss signals and not understand how average people think.

I wonder if instead of it being "natural" I have better pattern recognition or something like that. That my brain is automatically compensating in areas that make me analyze and understand things it doesn't naturally pick up the way average people do. I really wish they'd kept aspergers and autism separate labels. It would be so much easier to think this is just an aspie thing you do when one smaller area of the brain is affected compared to full autism. Right now it's just confusing to wonder if I'm really an autist or not. I'm seemingly exactly like this super small subset of it (that used to be called aspergers) while I'm nothing like the majority of autists.

Anonymous 10/05/24 (Sat) 10:12:28 AM No. 2194310

>>2194294
Weird advice that might help: get into some alt fashion, and preferably also art. There is an inherent leniency given to artistic people, they're allowed to be a bit quirky without being seen as retarded.

Anonymous 10/05/24 (Sat) 11:02:17 AM No. 2194344

>>2194308
I call this sort of thing Autistic Personality Disorder or pseudoautism.

Anonymous 10/05/24 (Sat) 12:26:42 PM No. 2194376

File: 1728131202933.jpg (6.72 KB, 224x224, 1000034344.jpg)

Accidentally let my mask slip at work yesterday when talking to a coworker. We switched offices a while back and she was saying it was lonely when our other coworker is off because she's the only one over there. I said "Oh I liked that office, I don't really care if people come and talk to me or not". I didn't think much of it after the conversation, but when I was recounting my day to my friend she was like "you actually said that to her?" Did not realize in the moment I probably shouldn't say things like that out loud because it makes me sound retarded and antisocial but I really didn't know how else to reply kek. Guess I'll have to add that to my mental catalogue of how to have a normal conversation that is filled with other slip ups so I know not to do it again.

Anonymous 10/05/24 (Sat) 12:34:18 PM No. 2194381

>>2194376
Your friend is probably just someone who interprets things in a paranoid light. Your coworker wouldn't necessarily take what you said the same way.

Anonymous 10/05/24 (Sat) 01:05:46 PM No. 2194404

>>2194376
i don't really think there's anything wrong with what you said

Anonymous 10/06/24 (Sun) 01:02:27 AM No. 2195173

File: 1728176547021.png (1.16 MB, 1080x1079, sadness.png)

I get stupid defensive when people compliment me for mundane shit or say I'm smart. It just reminds me of how kids and adults used to treat me extra nice like a sped growing up, and I can't shake it after all this time. The fucks wrong with me?
I have a case worker who compliments me for the simplest tasks, such as plugging a fucking webcam into my PC, typing something into google, copying and pasting a fucking link.
>Wow anon you're soOOOoo tech-savvy you really got to hand it to yourself wow look at you
It pisses me off and I really want to tell her that. I know it's probably her job to butter up mental cases but it's so infantilizing. For context too she is only 6 yrs my senior (I'm in my early 30s) so it's not like she's a tech illiterate boomer. I hate that I'm locked down with her, that I need a case worker to begin with. This all just reinforces to me that I'm a retarded abomination

Anonymous 10/06/24 (Sun) 07:25:38 PM No. 2196344

Can you be autistic and impulsive? Lately I've become really impulsive, like I join random courses and classes just because, I bought some merch I wanted to buy a few months ago and I keep accepting job interviews even though I keep getting calls from other workplaces.
Is this normal? I wasn't this impulsive when I was 20 years old.

Anonymous 10/06/24 (Sun) 07:31:14 PM No. 2196352

>>2196344
autism and adhd symptoms can overlap, i believe due to autistic burnout and depression i've also develop some adhd-like traits.

Anonymous 10/06/24 (Sun) 07:34:20 PM No. 2196356

>>2196344
I get impulsivity issues bad when I don't have a stable and comfortable routine.

Anonymous 10/06/24 (Sun) 07:40:35 PM No. 2196368

>>2194308
having "spiky profiles" (things you excel at vs. those you are way worse at than average) is a normal part of being autistic.

Anonymous 10/06/24 (Sun) 09:45:41 PM No. 2196579

anyone else's adhd meds make them insanely horny??? this is not good

Anonymous 10/06/24 (Sun) 09:54:59 PM No. 2196590

>>2194283
>she writes is packed with submissive social signals.
Can you give examples?

Anonymous 10/06/24 (Sun) 09:55:55 PM No. 2196593

>>2196579
Pretty common side effect of stimulants

Anonymous 10/06/24 (Sun) 10:12:29 PM No. 2196610

>>2194283
>submissive social signals
If by that you mean passive language and phrases like "I think" "If that makes sense", "But that's just me" ect. Then that's just analyzing her writing, not social signals.

Anonymous 10/07/24 (Mon) 03:07:04 AM No. 2196898

>>2195173
This happens to me too. It's so degrading. I don't want to be praised for the bare minimum, I'm not "smart" I'm below average and you're rubbing it in. Don't speak to me unless it's important because I know you aren't being genuine otherwise. I think I need to be colder to people.

Anonymous 10/07/24 (Mon) 09:15:47 PM No. 2197763

>>2196579
Yes, Qelbree (SNRI) did this shit to me and actually gave me PGAD, it was horrible. I just switched back to Strattera (also an SNRI) which may actually lower my libido a little bit which is a good thing I think because I struggle with frequent intrusive sexual daydreams i suppose bc my dumb ADHD brain is always craving dopamine

Anonymous 10/07/24 (Mon) 11:14:33 PM No. 2197957

>>2192889
YES. I used to always try my hardest to mold my personality into what the popular/socially successful girls would want because from how i saw it, if i was to fit into their ingroup, i wouldn't have to worry about what people thought of me and i wouldn't have to worry so hard about struggling with socialisation because i could just ride off whatever they say. I gave up in my teens when i realised how shit i actually was a masking, nobody saw me for who i wanted to be, but they saw this really weird and creepy girl who they needed to stay from at worst, a pity case to carry out some charity work on at best, which honestly offended me strongly more than being ignored. I was so sick of people pitying me for not being good at socialising, for having no friends and for being weird, since then i have spent my life just shutting people out, being overly cautious with who i share my thoughts with because i have already internalised that who i am is not appropriate or desirable for most normies. I also have a huge issue with socialising in regards to the fact that i get exhausted from trying to say what the other person wants me to say, having a simple conversation is like doing algebra and it's completely unnatural most of the time. I have to know when to pretend to smile, know when to throw in a fake laugh and have all my answers pre-prepared because i know they will never be able to comprehend my issues no matter how hard i could explain it to them, not that i think they have any right to that information. I have become schizoid because of this and i don't think i could ever possibly make a friend irl, especially as an adult woman nearing 30 where as the years go by, i have practically nothing in common with most women. I do think that my life would improve if i at least had one friend to hang out with and be open with, but i find with most people i never ever reach a point where i can be open to them, so i avoid giving them any information about myself to keep myself agreeable and stay silent to avoid conflict, especially when they are a co-worker or a fellow student.

Anonymous 10/08/24 (Tue) 12:26:25 AM No. 2198042

Does ADHD sometimes make you feel immature in comparison to others? I’m drifting apart from my age group peers in my 30s and have no interest in relationships/kids/career/postgraduate education . I’ll forever be only interested in making friends and driven by wanting to afford my weekend hobbies.

Anonymous 10/08/24 (Tue) 12:33:16 AM No. 2198050

Can somebody explain to me the border between being nice and masking to the point of exhaustion? My natural behavior is always interpreted as mean despite lack of malicious intent (I feel like resting bitch face may heavily contribute to this) so I have to go out of my way to put up facetious over-niceness and constantly take verbal routes I naturally wouldn't. Simple questions can't be answered simply for me, I feel like I have to sugarcoat things beyond basic "yes" or "no" in order to not be interpreted as angry. I can't go about my day normally, I have to be hyperaware of my surroundings lest somebody feel neglected or like I have a wall up against them. I feel like all of this comes more natural to "regular" people. I'm so tired.

Anonymous 10/08/24 (Tue) 12:38:52 AM No. 2198062

File: 1728347932015.jpg (114.97 KB, 736x726, 1000070190.jpg)

>>2192889
In my case it's weird. I feel like I overshare, and like I'm annoying, cringe and that I should shut up. But then my actual friends (I would dare say acquaintances in some cases) will blurt out that they know nothing about me, that they never know what I'm up to or how I'm feeling even.
Like, idk, I just don't know what's okay to say and what's too much. Then again, I was also raised to truly believe in the evil eye so I never tell anything like plans to people that aren't close family or my really close best friend that I kind of wish I could marry because she's really amazing and kind.
So I guess it makes sense how I wouldn't be like, the kind of person that would really talk about her own life goals and such, which is basically all most people could possibly talk about without talking about the past and trauma? I guess?
But at the same time I think and notice how nobody except from my family and my best friend really give a fuck about what I say because their faces, body language and tone say so, so I just don't even bother at this point.

Anonymous 10/08/24 (Tue) 12:55:31 AM No. 2198079

>>2198042
Not adhd but autism which is a given since its literally the retarded womanchild disorder

Anonymous 10/08/24 (Tue) 01:22:22 AM No. 2198111

>>2198079
They’re different disorders. ADHD would probably not be a big deal if I was rich. I have to spend money on living close to my work and regular housekeeping to pass as a functional adult because I can’t stick with routines to save my life. I don’t take medication because it makes me jittery.

Anonymous 10/08/24 (Tue) 02:08:18 AM No. 2198138

>>2198111
Have you considered taking clonidine? it's not a stimulant and i was prescribed it to help with impulsivity. I find that it works great, but it murders your sex drive completely. I had an non existent sex drive to begin with so it's not too bad, so maybe it wouldn't be ideal if you had a bf or something.

Anonymous 10/08/24 (Tue) 02:40:32 AM No. 2198168

ADHD and autism here and I feel like I have all the skills I need to do the jobs I want, I have a degree and I'm good enough at masking, but everything I've been trying over the past few years didn't work out how I wanted/needed it to or something stupid happened and I fucked it up. I feel like life is just speeding past me and I'm making no progress, falling behind everyone else and all the expectations everyone had for me, and I'm never going to be anything more than the loser autist womanchild I am today. I can be so productive and so good at things when I get the chance, I blow the technical skills out of the water and I ace the interviews and I feel like I'm doing everything right and then it all falls apart and I'm back to square one. It can't just be a shit job market or shit luck, at some point the problem has to be me and I feel like everyone around me is realizing that too. I just want to start a career and settle into life and not have to worry about having my plans disrupted every time I think they're about to work out. I wish my parents would've just let me become a teacher like I wanted to when I graduated, I would've been working by now doing something I know I'm good at, not just another autist who's running out of time because I can't seem to figure out how life works

Anonymous 10/08/24 (Tue) 03:52:39 AM No. 2198226

>>2198138
>clonidine
Might look into asking my psychiatrist about it as it could be an improvement from rawdogging. I think of my already low sex drive is a feature not a bug.
Sometimes I worry I don’t have ADHD for real since I tried Strattera and found it did not do much whereas dexamphetamine made me feel me hyper happy for the first hour followed by intense anxiety.
Ritalin just made me feel really angry.
I probably have some trauma related brain problems but I found an adult ADHD diagnosis helped me learn coping methods for my executive dysfunction problems that prevented me from being able to finish my degree. If I did not see any specialists for my mental condition I would probably be beating myself up about not having enough willpower to move past living with my abusive parents and working dead end jobs.

Anonymous 10/08/24 (Tue) 07:42:20 AM No. 2198345

>>2197957
>I used to always try my hardest to mold my personality into what the popular/socially successful girls would want because from how i saw it, if i was to fit into their ingroup
THIS is masking. Masking is the specific behaviour when autists (mostly girls) try their best to seem normal, moulding themselves to a very specific image. They're often fairly successful in that people do think it's the real them, but sometimes fail like you anon.
Fakers online always think masking means "I smiled and pretended to be happy but I'm actually sad inside" like bitch no that's not the same at all.

Anonymous 10/08/24 (Tue) 01:21:37 PM No. 2198526

Some people have the math and science autism, some have the plushie autism and I have the utter retarded loser who can't function as an adult and is still stuck with the mentality of a 15yo, I'm genuinely tired. Everyone is so ahead of me and here I am

Anonymous 10/09/24 (Wed) 02:02:08 AM No. 2199631

so im back on the horse of my adhd meds, i haven't taken my meds in two years because at the time my school/work/life balance was pretty okay but its ramped up so much these past couple of weeks that i needed to go back on my meds. Before i stopped i had been on my meds semi-consistently for 6 months.

i found my old bottle of Strattera (Atomoxetine) and i took my dose this morning and holy shit. the side effects on my physical health have been horrible, i had to lie in bed for 3 hours this morning because i felt super drowsy, my stomach was in knots, my guts basically destroyed themselves, and i was incredibly nauseous.

When i finally felt better to sit up again i checked my bottle and my meds expired like, November of last year. I'm still trying to get into my primary PCP, because they have written my prescription before, but holy shit, i forgot how bad the side effects were on sStrattera and why i stopped taking it lmao.

I hate the dilemma that i have to be in, like yeah, take your meds and your able to focus more properly, but you have these horrible physical reactions and you get super anxious.

do any other anons have any experience with Strattera/Qelbree/SNRI or any other similar adhd drugs or side effects?

Anonymous 10/10/24 (Thu) 12:09:26 AM No. 2200619

>>2198168
>and then it all falls apart and I'm back to square one.
In what sense? I kinda get you, everything is working well but then something happens, I can't cope with it and I end ruining all one way or another.

Anonymous 10/10/24 (Thu) 12:32:47 AM No. 2200637

>>2198042
I really feel that. One of my biggest insecurities is that I’m not developed enough, I still live with my parents, never went to uni, I can’t drive, I work part time retail in my mid-20s and have zero interest in romantic relationships.The funny thing is I’m completely happy and I wouldn’t judge anyone else for being in the same situation as me but sometimes I can’t help but feel like an adult child when I see people 6 years younger than me with degrees and living independently and driving. My psychiatrist asked me what my plans for the future was and I had to lie and say I wanted to do a degree in uni because i genuinely don’t have any plans for the future aside from travelling every so often and doing my hobbies.

Anonymous 10/10/24 (Thu) 03:18:46 AM No. 2200764

File: 1728530326693.jpg (44.74 KB, 680x554, 1640272586476.jpg)

>>2198345
Too bad i absolutely suck at masking.
>>2198526
I'm so jealous of the men in my family who have computer science autism, they literally don't have to wear a mask at all, they are free and happy. Nobody cares if they are a little odd or not interested in getting married because they make 100k a year and can do whatever they want.

Anonymous 10/10/24 (Thu) 07:16:23 AM No. 2200905

File: 1728544583703.jpg (114.51 KB, 1140x798, tang.jpg)

I have a weird obsession with being touched and held, I feel very starved of affection, and I think it's because I was extremely averse to physical contact as a child, which had negative affects long term (even if I didn't like it back then). I still have some hang ups around it though, there's no winning with autism.

Anonymous 10/10/24 (Thu) 07:34:54 AM No. 2200919

>>2200905
Try things that mimics touch and heat, hot cups of beverage, heat pads or blankets, maybe a warm foot bath. It tricks your brain into thinking it's physical touch

Anonymous 10/11/24 (Fri) 03:15:38 PM No. 2202926

File: 1728659738617.jpg (83.24 KB, 1162x1018, 7c8cba8151bc8e99b446505281db4a…)

How do I deal with an autist friend who is super clingy and above all insecure? I'm also an autist but I'm the kind that needs a lot of alone time and I don't like being texted all the time as I find it distracting. She's basically like picrel

Anonymous 10/11/24 (Fri) 03:20:11 PM No. 2202932

>>2202926
idk i'd just wait until she grows up

Anonymous 10/11/24 (Fri) 03:29:52 PM No. 2202942

>>2202926
Couch it in phrasing about how you need downtime to recharge and how when she asks if you don't like her it hurts you because it feels like she doesn't trust you to be a good friend

Anonymous 10/11/24 (Fri) 03:32:55 PM No. 2202946

>>2202926
Assuming she's actually autistic (not accusing your friend of fakery, but what I'm advising will make an insecure non-autist freak tf out almost guaranteed), just tell her outright that you need some alone time to recharge. "I need alone time right now. It has nothing to do with you, this counts for everyone. Can you text me again at [specific time you decide]?"

Telling her when to text you is important. If my friend says she needs alone time, I can't know when it's appropriate to bug her again, but if she tells me "I'm taking a vacay day, text me back after 8pm", I'll know that she still likes me and wants to hear from me, just later.

Anonymous 10/11/24 (Fri) 04:04:20 PM No. 2203006

i really have trouble with boundaries and realizing I have been abusive/toxic situations (work, friendships, relationships). now it's a relationship I'm stuck in and I dont know where to go from here, and it's easy for people to do it because I have no support

Anonymous 10/11/24 (Fri) 05:13:58 PM No. 2203126

>>2202932
ayrt we're both in our mid 20s
>>2202942
Thanks, I'll try that. She should already know it, but I'll remind her. My worry is that she'll take it the wrong way though and that it will make her say/think "so you ARE mad at me???" and make an even bigger deal out of it.
>>2202946
>Assuming she's actually autistic
She absolutely is, that I can guarantee! It's hard for me to know when to get texted though, especially because I can't predict how tiring the day will be beforehand. I'll try to figure something out though, thanks for the advice.

Would any of you nonas have advice on how to make her more confident? I'm unsure what I could do as a friend as clearly just being "supportive" isn't doing much. I'm actually worrying that being too supportive makes her less likely to try to get better because she likes the comfort of someone babying her and telling her it's ok.

Anonymous 10/13/24 (Sun) 01:24:05 AM No. 2204967

>>2198042
ADHD late bloomer lesbian here.
I feel grief whenever my friends get married and/or have kids since it symbolises that the friendship will be over soon. Can’t say that out loud in real life since that makes me seem like a jealous loser.

Due to undiagnosed depression and ADHD in my teens and 20s I have missed the boat on the formative experiences that would have lead to healthy relationships so I live a lonely life as a mid 30s adult. Too scared to start dating now since I would probably get played or something.

Anonymous 10/13/24 (Sun) 03:27:39 AM No. 2205037

>>2204967
I completely relate about the friends getting married stuff. Part of me sometimes worries the way I hurt when friends move on is actually a weird repressed romantic thing because nobody else seems to be as obsessed about it as I am, which is sad. I am happy for my friends, but I just want to hang out with them like a young adult forever.

All that aside I think if you want to try dating you should give it a go, anon. Don't take it seriously because the dating scene is hell but we're all going to be old and crippled one-day, so you may as well give it a shot for the plot.

Anonymous 10/13/24 (Sun) 06:32:25 AM No. 2205109

>>2204967
You're not weird for that, I think when a friend gets married it does change your relationship with that person forever. You can stay friends and both make a strong effort to keep the relationship alive, and it can be successful and unproblematic, but it's undeniable that things are different.

Anonymous 10/13/24 (Sun) 08:38:31 AM No. 2205173

It annoys me how some self-described feminists will acknowledge that men like to take advantage of vulnerable women who are easy to isolate and manipulate but then turn around and insist that any autistic woman who’s in a relationship with a man can’t really be autistic. In some parts of the world men will marry prepubescent children but surely no man would ever stoop to dating a woman with ASD! Everyone knows only the top 10% of Stacies ever manage to snag a man! Jesus.

Anonymous 10/13/24 (Sun) 08:52:48 AM No. 2205185

>>2204967
Those "formative experiences" are mostly a sham nona. You can start dating at any age, if anything dating now makes it easier since people in their 20s just want to fuck around while in your 30s people get more serious about staying together and building a life.
There are people who miss out because of a billion different reasons, money, family matters, illness, mental illness, drug misuse… people have picked themselves up way later in life. 30s is still early.

Funnily enough I need a lot of alone time, so my friends getting into relationships makes me super happy because it means they won't "bother" me as much lmao
But I still get what you mean, I still grieve my friends not wanting to hang out the way we did when we were kids… I'd still like to have silly arts and crafts days, or a day watching cartoons, building lego, or just going outside making up fairy tales with each other. They're too adult for that now and it makes me sad I'll never have it back.

Anonymous 10/13/24 (Sun) 07:43:01 PM No. 2205756

>>2205185
Disagree. I started dating in my late 20s and just as nona is afraid of, I was manipulated and abused. Being an older person with no experience makes you a huge easy target, unfortunately. Starting to date when you're young is much better because both people involved have little experience and the deeply unbalanced power dynamic isn't there.

Anonymous 10/14/24 (Mon) 07:50:09 AM No. 2206616

>>2205756
Disagree with your disagree. I'm so happy I didn't spent my youth getting fucked over by moids and instead waited until I had a mature brain that could handle things better

Anonymous 10/15/24 (Tue) 08:57:53 AM No. 2207813

Every time I try to do something I have to fight the low functioning retard that lives in my brain, I'm trying to make an adult out of something that wants to drool and play with legos. When it doesn't get what it wants it squeals and shrieks and fills the mindscape with shrill noise until I'm the one shitting myself on the floor.

Anonymous 10/15/24 (Tue) 03:28:27 PM No. 2208170

>>2205756
Were you taken advantage of because you had no experience or were you taken advantage of because of your autism? No offense but manipulation and abuse doesn't happen just because you're inexperienced in romantic relationships. General life and people experience and common sense doesn't disappear just because you haven't been romantically involved before.

Anonymous 10/15/24 (Tue) 04:30:08 PM No. 2208225

I hate how bad I am at timing in conversations, I got out of a group assignment we were working on through video call and kept talking over and interrupting people when I didn't mean to. I feel like such an asshole even though I kept apologizing, I probably came off as super impatient.

Anonymous 10/15/24 (Tue) 04:34:34 PM No. 2208236

>>2205756
I’m so sorry you experienced that, first of all. Nobody should have to go through abuse, least of all when they’re at a relatively established age. Still, I don’t think it’s any easier being abused at a younger age - if anything it’s harder to deal with as you usually lack a proper support system and finances to get out when you’re very young!

Anonymous 10/15/24 (Tue) 04:35:37 PM No. 2208237

>>2200919
Weighted blankets are a godsend

Anonymous 10/15/24 (Tue) 05:02:36 PM No. 2208269

I hate how when I disclose to a new person that I was diagnosed with ASD (out of necessity, I never flaunt it) they’re always really sceptical because I “seem normal” but then as they get to know me better and the autistic traits become apparent, they get all frustrated with me for being autistic. It’s extra upsetting because these are always people whose job it is to help people like me, who you’d think would have some training about how hf autism presents in women but clearly not. It’s like they’re initially annoyed with me for not being autistic enough and then they get annoyed with me for being autistic. I don’t understand what they want from me. No I can’t “turn it off” no matter how normal I apparently seemed to them at first glance. Are they upset with me for false advertising? I do my best to act normal around people because that’s polite, but I can’t maintain it forever. If I could, I would just do that all the time. I need their help because I can’t.

Anonymous 10/15/24 (Tue) 10:35:12 PM No. 2208825

>>2208269
You don't have a mental problem if you can act normal around other people.

Anonymous 10/16/24 (Wed) 02:05:37 AM No. 2209071

>>2208269
Are these psychiatrists? I've had that same experience with them

>>2208825
Masking is a thing, especially for female autists

Anonymous 10/16/24 (Wed) 02:07:53 AM No. 2209075

>>2205173
I think it's probably more the fact that the woman can easily hold together a long-term relationship that signals she may not be autistic. Men see autistic women as manic pixie dream girls so of course they like us (at first) but the autism usually ends up causing serious problems in the relationship so keeping a long-term one going is hard.

Anonymous 10/16/24 (Wed) 07:15:04 AM No. 2209272

>>2208825
I don’t get this argument. There are so many conditions where the person in question can appear to function normally for short periods of time. Depressed people can smile. Functional alcoholics appear normal at work. You can still walk on a sprained ankle. It’s detrimental for people with these conditions to go without support for an extended period of time because the condition is still there, even if they manage to hide it. Being able to temporarily hide your problems doesn’t mean your problems magically disappear.

>>2209071
Psychiatrists always clock me instantly for some reason. It’s mostly counsellors, psychologists and social workers who register me making eye contact with them once and decide that disqualifies me, or something. Then when the other autistic traits come out they get annoyed because they’ve already disqualified me in their mind so why am I acting like this?? It can’t be that their initial assessment was wrong, I must be doing this purely to spite them!
The thing is that I don’t even pass as 100% normal to other people. Most people can tell there’s something off about me. These particular people just seem eager to dismiss me from the get go. Which is odd to me because I’d think that when it’s your job to find work for people with an impairment, it’s a hell of a lot easier to do that with someone like me vs. Rain Man or whatever they’re expecting from someone with an ASD diagnosis. And I’m this one guy’s only client at the moment so it’s not like I’m taking resources from someone more deserving.

Anonymous 10/16/24 (Wed) 04:09:01 PM No. 2209585

>>2208825
okay explain high-functioning alcoholism anon
but really, the people who absolutely cannot act "normal" around other people for whatever reason just have an exceptional amount of symptoms in regards to their mental problems. This is why people with mood disorders and enough documentation around lost jobs and inconsistent wages, as well as family history, can get disability payments for something like anxiety or depression. But even then, those people can act "normal" when they aren't put into situations that they cannot handle.

Anonymous 10/16/24 (Wed) 04:52:21 PM No. 2209616

>>2208825
If anon could act normal enough to not "have a mental problem", she wouldn't have multiple people getting frustrated at her 'tism traits after they get to know her. This is like textbook experience for female autists.

Anonymous 10/16/24 (Wed) 05:05:52 PM No. 2209626

I’m fine with being a ghost now. I get a lot of genuine joy out of watching other people live their lives, connecting with others and having fun. To be honest I’ve been pretty schizoid since childhood, always preferring to spend time alone even when I had friends and liked the people around me. I just don’t have the urge to establish deep connections with people, unless they’re very special (ie one in a million similar interests, uncannily like me, cool autistic people). I’ve accepted the fact I’ll be considered a boring loser by a majority of people because yknow what, we have different values, and that’s OK! I’m not a loser to myself, I feel like I’ve finally achieved a sense of zen. The only issue is that I feel I won’t be promoted in my job or valued because I don’t conform, but as long as I’m earning enough to satisfy my own needs and desires, it’s all good. Is this the ultimate form of narcissism? Maybe, but it suits me just fine.

Anonymous 10/16/24 (Wed) 05:07:51 PM No. 2209628

I genuinely do not understand neurotypical women and their friendships, and I hate being forced to be around them. Nothing gets me closer to feeling genuinely misogynistic. I get why so many autistic girls troon out.

Anonymous 10/16/24 (Wed) 05:12:09 PM No. 2209633

>>2205173
Honestly and very hot take but most autistic women shouldn’t ever have children because any moid who will truly love and caretake for us without getting annoyed at our childishness in the long term is probably a pedo or pedo-adjacent

Anonymous 10/16/24 (Wed) 05:20:15 PM No. 2209645

>>2209633
That and social naivete from parents is actively dangerous for their children. If someone can't pick up on social signals, they might be less likely to notice that the family uncle is a fucking creeper and should not be allowed to babysit.

Anonymous 10/16/24 (Wed) 06:40:36 PM No. 2209754

>>2209645
Yeah we really should not have children for so so so many reasons and it worries me endlessly and makes me lose sympathy for some autistic women who have kids. I love my friend but I can’t help but side eye her husband, he’s nice for the most part but he started talking to her when she was a minor and he was mid 20s. She was on the fence about having kids and he convinced her to do so and she really is the absolute best mom I know but at the same time she is completely dependent on her groomer husband. He wants another kid too, despite her staunchly not wanting anymore and even asking him to get snipped. I have such a bad feeling that he’s going to knock her up again be it through an “oops” or just wearing her down and talking her into it. I also vaguely worry she might not be able to protect her daughter from pedophiles and groomers or possibly even not see anything wrong with it since she’s been with her husband for so long despite the circumstances in which they met and formed their relationship being so sketchy and creepy.

Anonymous 10/18/24 (Fri) 05:21:29 AM No. 2212102

ADHD pea brain is ruining my life. i have extreme school anxiety due to past failure. i start panicking and my chest gets tight. medication helps with this a little but i become productive in the worst ways ie cleaning or doing a shit ton of laundry to avoid doing my college assignments. the funny thing is i did start a month ahead on my assignments, used pomodoro tracker, went to the library and everything to work on it but i just could not get the draft i had finished in time because the anxiety gets worse and worse around the due date and i avoid everything. i need nona's advice because i cannot find coping strategies for this and it is literally the most debilitating aspect of my adhd. i'm running out of my script and have no insurance anymore. terrified for what will happen to me without if

Anonymous 10/18/24 (Fri) 06:01:34 AM No. 2212155

>>2212102
Couple of different thoughts. Are you on a separate med to treat your anxiety? Have you asked for accommodations related to test and assignment anxiety? What about the student resource center at all? This kind of thing is exactly in their wheelhouse and who you should contact first. How about your school's counseling center? It should be free to no cost if you're a burger

Anonymous 10/18/24 (Fri) 08:02:43 AM No. 2212219

Something sparked my curiosity, so I have a question for all anons who take meds prescribed for them by the psychiatrists. Do they help you?

Anonymous 10/18/24 (Fri) 09:02:50 AM No. 2212264

>>2212155
Samefag but sorry for the poor writing. My sleep meds were going into effect and I haven’t learned to stop using LC whenever I take them
>>2212219
Yes. They work better together than separately. If I’m only on one I am worse off than where I started. Before I was properly treated I would go off then back on them cyclically

Anonymous 10/18/24 (Fri) 09:37:01 AM No. 2212278

>>2212102
Idk your fitness routine nonna but even if you don’t have one, try doing something high impact for a few min or just a short hard burst like jump rope, jumping jacks, even just hopping around like a spaz til you are out of breath. I find that moving my body intensely helps shake out that anxiety and straighten my brain at least for a bit. A long workout is best for hours of “symptom relief” but when I am struggling with wfh or back when I was in college, I’d just do a little of that in a pinch to get myself going. Also studying/trying to get important work done in a library never worked for me kek it was almost more distracting somehow

Anonymous 10/18/24 (Fri) 12:49:44 PM No. 2212372

>>2209626
Good for you nona. It's not narcissism to be content with yourself and your life, I'm glad you feel both comfortable and confident

Anonymous 10/18/24 (Fri) 01:03:00 PM No. 2212381

>>2209628
>Nothing gets me closer to feeling genuinely misogynistic. I get why so many autistic girls troon out.
I used to be a tomboy autist who thought that too! Girls around me cared about such stupid things like clothes and makeup. Like sure, you do you, but why the fuck do they have to judge me and everyone else based on it? Wear nike instead of adidas and they think you're a social loser who deserves to be bullied, like what the fuck it's just clothes. They're so superficial and only like boring things and stab each other in the back over stupid things. I'm nothing like them.

The boys seemed more fun, they liked the nerdy shit I liked too. And they don't care about the stupid clothes either! So I'll just go hang out with males instead and we're all good.

Then guess what, turns out the boys are equally retarded but in different ways. I wasn't like them at all, like I had thought when seeing them from afar. Girls were being gossipy and catty when "attacking" each other, but they boys would actually resort to heavy violence over the most stupid shit. And instead of bullying someone for wearing the wrong clothes they bully you over supporting the wrong sports team. Even though their own team sucks ass and never wins.

Turns out I was actually in a third unseen category; the autist category. I see why autist girls first troon out, thinking they must be like males. But when they (like me) hang out with real males they still feel alienated… and that's how they start thinking they're an enby.

Anonymous 10/18/24 (Fri) 01:11:41 PM No. 2212385

>>2209633
It's potentially the same for petite women, and women with dwarfism then.

But men being attracted to what could be described as a mildly childish personality in a grown woman aren't pedos. The men who are into women acting like kids are in actual age-play communities and want them acting like literal toddlers. An adult woman being slightly stubborn and having a collection of MLP figurines just isn't the same.

A lot of autists shouldn't have children imo, especially if they have no interest in it themselves. But there are plenty that can and do have kids and it's all just fine.

Anonymous 10/18/24 (Fri) 02:40:33 PM No. 2212468

>>2212385
>The men who are into women acting like kids are in actual age-play communities and want them acting like literal toddlers. An adult woman being slightly stubborn and having a collection of MLP figurines just isn't the same.
Having unfortunately brushed with those communities, most of the women acting like literal toddlers are actual autists who got memed into it by their degenerate "daddy dom" pedo-adjacent boyfriends. I don't think there was a single woman in that group who wasn't autistic or some other flavor of mid-functioning retarded.

Anonymous 10/18/24 (Fri) 07:13:41 PM No. 2212739

I ghosted the one autistic woman I knew years ago because she irritated me and I was, and am, incredibly avoidant. I always felt like she was trying to get into my head and compete with me, even though she was probably only expressing herself. I miss her but she’s moved to Chile and is about to marry her long term Nigel. She’s also best friends (almost soul mates) with my abysmal moid flatmate, who hates me and tells her stories about me. So even if I did manage to talk to her again doubtless she’d think I was some sort of sociopath who gets off on bullying her bestie. Reading back our conversations, I want to cry. She thinks like me, she’s funny, realistic, strong and the best kind of woman, truly rare. She’s gender critical, takes no shit and values women above all moids (even her own bf). How do I get her back??

Anonymous 10/18/24 (Fri) 10:15:53 PM No. 2212953

>>2212468
I'm sure they're all very mentally unstable women in various ways, but even then regular autist women aren't acting like that and they had to be memed into it. A basic autist isn't turning pedos on.

Anonymous 10/18/24 (Fri) 10:16:46 PM No. 2212954

>>2212739
Just talk to her and see where it leads?

Anonymous 10/20/24 (Sun) 04:28:17 AM No. 2214470

I'm so tired of autistic women being lumped in with autistic men. You cannot talk about how autistic men tend to be sex pests or have degenerate fetishes anywhere without people screeching about how you're stigmatising all autistic people as pedos. Like develop some critical thinking, good lord. There IS a difference between that struggling autistic girl who can't make friends at school and e-dates on Wattpad vs the 30 year old NEET obese moid who lives in his mom's basement and discusses lowering the age of consent on 4chan. Autistic women are often autistic men's biggest targets and expected to empathise with them because we're also autistic. But like an anon said upthread, they shouldn't empathise with us because they're autistic. Make it make sense.

Anonymous 10/20/24 (Sun) 04:34:58 AM No. 2214471

>>2214470
Samefag, I fucking hate the "neurodivergent sense of justice" thing that's all over social media and autistic spaces. Autists are no naturally more moral than others, we just struggle with change and prefer things a bit more fixed and if something deviates from that, we tend to react more negatively than nts and may advocate louder for our morals. It's just that the ones with more socially acceptable morals are mainstream, but an autistic moid who thinks 12yo kids are sexually mature will also advocate equally as loudly and autistically for his beliefs.

Anonymous 10/20/24 (Sun) 10:21:06 AM No. 2214635

Why does it feel like every other autistic woman manages to just stumble into a relationship? They never seem to date they just manage to randomly meet someone. Am I that ugly? No man has ever approached me that's for certain.
And don't come at me with all men are shit or whatever, lets not pretend that when you never ever get attention at all (and if you do it's not positive attention) it doesn't hurt.

Anonymous 10/20/24 (Sun) 10:45:56 AM No. 2214650

>>2214635
Unfortunately a lot of the autistic women I see in relationships are bonded and trapped with some abuser fuckhead. They (the scrotes) seek them out and make them attached. You shouldn’t feel inferior because of that. Typically it’s harder for autistic women to put themselves out there, and the men that actively seek out autistic women are predatory. You can and potentially will find your person, don’t beat yourself up.

Anonymous 10/20/24 (Sun) 11:11:16 AM No. 2214660

>>2214635
90% of autistic women are sexually abused, whereas in general population it's more like 20-30%. Even without formal diagnosis, abusive men pick up on us being different and vulnerable which draws them in.

Anonymous 10/20/24 (Sun) 07:50:59 PM No. 2215343

>>2214470
>I'm so tired of autistic women being lumped in with autistic men
Honestly I'm conflicted on it. As someone who is generally repulsed by sexual things (on a relatively normal level, just not normal in the current sex fixated society) it bothers me to be lumped in with them and have people think it's an autism thing and not just a males being degenerate thing. But on the other hand I know 2 other autistic women who are both obsessed with yaoi, they are sexual degenerates on some level. So it's odd for me to go "we're not like the men" when I secretly know those 2 have strange porn habits as their hobby too… Makes me feel like I'm the broken one.

Anonymous 10/20/24 (Sun) 07:55:42 PM No. 2215350

>>2214635
I spent 29 years avoiding men until finding one I deemed acceptable to date. Then I worked hard on getting him to like and date me, it worked quite easily because he was a shy nerd who didn't know how to talk to women kek I sure didn't stumble into it, I spent years looking and judging men from the shadows

Anonymous 10/21/24 (Mon) 05:54:15 AM No. 2215970

I hate feeling like I'm a human that's being controlled by some robot or alien. I can't function as a normal person at all. I'm reminding myself of social cues like "[insert a joke here to seem like you have a personality]" "[emote correctly]" "[speak in this way to avoid a flat affect]" I'm tired.

Anonymous 10/21/24 (Mon) 01:52:23 PM No. 2216233

Does anyone struggle with how embarrassing some of your hyperfixations can be?
I'm 31 and currently obsessed with Cinnamoroll.
I wish I could be obsessed with crochet or something useful

Anonymous 10/21/24 (Mon) 01:54:25 PM No. 2216234

>>2216233
Same but I'm still young. I know I'm going to age into being one of those stunted middle aged old autistic women though, such is life.

Anonymous 10/21/24 (Mon) 02:08:48 PM No. 2216247

>>2216233
i've had ones ranging from childish (games, cartoons) to """normie""" (fashion, movie stars) to completely inexplicable, but to me the nature and intensity of the fixation is the embarrassing part, more so than the subject.

Anonymous 10/21/24 (Mon) 03:24:59 PM No. 2216324

>>2216233
I wouldn’t call it a hyperfixation, but I’ve been into toys since young and never outgrew it. It’s embarrassing. I don’t pretend play, but I like action figures to pose them and I’m always drawn to the toy aisles in stores. At least I can pass myself as just a woman who’s probably looking at toys to buy for a kid.

Anonymous 10/22/24 (Tue) 01:32:58 AM No. 2217530

I got kicked out of the local autism meetup group for being too autistic. Can't believe I don't even fit in with other autists. This is really depressing.

Anonymous 10/22/24 (Tue) 11:58:17 AM No. 2217889

>>2217530
damn anon, could you give us more details?

Anonymous 10/22/24 (Tue) 12:05:07 PM No. 2217893

>>2217530
This sounds like something blowjob-chan would do.

Anonymous 10/22/24 (Tue) 12:08:17 PM No. 2217896

>>2217530
Autistic people are often worse than normies when it comes to infighting because they're self-hating and lack the skills to mediate conflict

Anonymous 10/22/24 (Tue) 12:13:13 PM No. 2217901

>>2217896
Samefagging but modern autism spaces are also populated by self-diagnosed munchies who hate real autistics the same way trannies hate real women

Anonymous 10/22/24 (Tue) 08:14:28 PM No. 2218497

>>2217530
That means you won

Anonymous 10/23/24 (Wed) 12:56:52 AM No. 2219009

>>2217889
I was told my way of thinking is too black & white (not being able to understand nuance in interacting with others) and that my lack of social skills was making some other people in the group uncomfortable. I was just being myself, completing dropping the masking for once but I guess that was a big mistake.

>>2217901
This is the impression I get about those people the more I think about it. The things they were criticizing me for are textbook autism traits and I don't understand how autistic people could judge someone so harshly for that/not be empathetic.

Anonymous 10/23/24 (Wed) 10:44:11 PM No. 2220412

File: 1729723451065.png (132.74 KB, 256x256, =d.png)

God damn lack of internal signals almost ended me, I just wanted to eat healthier and I'm 99% sure I gave myself a mild heat stroke that lasted 3 days because I upped my fruit and vegetable intake by 300% and stopped eating all processed foods and all the water content made me feel that I didn't feel the need to drink water by itself.
I was so tired and emotional and lazy for those days and I still didn't suspect anything until I broke into shivers and a cold sweat and stood next to the heater slowly drinking water by itself again.
Anyways, I found myself wanting a personal butler whose only purpose was to remind me about water so I doodled him picrel.

I also can't stop thinking about this one guy and being in a relationship with him https://www.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/mre30c/my_black_aspie_experiencelong/
his story proved to me that how coddled and manipulative autistic men can get are inextricably connected (with opposite being true of course)

Anonymous 10/24/24 (Thu) 01:09:30 AM No. 2220618

>>2220412
kekkk this is such a cute drawing nona! I had the same issue with water until i lived with someone who was obsessed with drinking water all the time, eventually it stuck that i need at least one glass a day lol. Maybe get a bottle to carry around
I read that guy's post, i know exactly how it feels to be raised by parents like that and ostracized because being autistic makes you less [ethnicity]. I like that he has developed empathy for his parents' struggle to handle an ASD kid. This is the sort of emotional maturity and capacity for ambiguous conclusions that comes with true adulthood, i get why you like him.
>his story proved to me that how coddled and manipulative autistic men
It's sad he went through this but you're right, being raised by strict parents is probably why he seems to be more self-aware than a lot of male autists. I hate that there's something about aspergers that activates some mothers' boymom/helicopter parent/emotional incest behavior.
>>2217901
This makes so much sense. I discussed this with an autistic friend just the other day, it's insane how the people i know who love bringing attention to their fake autism are also the likeliest to point out your autistic traits in an irritated tone. I'm not talking about obvious cringe but things like repeating yourself about interests a lot, being direct, struggling with intimacy etc. Another possible explanation is they're anxious and self-conscious, so they compensate by picking apart whatever autistic trait they can 'catch'.

Anonymous 10/24/24 (Thu) 03:57:56 AM No. 2220743

File: 1729742276169.jpg (2.73 MB, 4000x3000, 1000000654.jpg)

>>2220618
mwack mwack for the compliments for my doodle, my autism theory and taste in men
>>2220618
>>2217901
Hmm, to add more empirical data I went through the opposite, a little personal cow of mine
>–audhd fakeboi weeb identified as being a bdsm furry lesbian moved in with a man that looks 35 in no less than 2 months of talking and stopped talking to me when she realized I was better at Japanese than her–
is so afraid of being invalidating she kind of slaps "your valid" onto everything to deflect and avoid from going further into deeper discussions (I'm pretty sure this to mediate the fact that she's ignorant about [whatever-the-fuck] which is fine if she didn't want to posture like a pseudo-intellectual all the time.)
The only other friend that's autistic is survival-adapted coming from a white trash background she's never around because she's
too busy surviving and stuff but I love having conversations with her I love that she doesn't censor herself, which is why my friends keep both of them from meeting because fakeboi wouldn't know how to interact with someone who's lower class kek would probably break her mind into pieces.

Anonymous 10/24/24 (Thu) 10:18:54 AM No. 2220906

I hate autistic men, they give me serious ick. They're always mommyfags and any man that wants a woman to act as his caretaker should euthanasied, neoteny in men isn't cute it's repulsive.

Anonymous 10/24/24 (Thu) 03:35:16 PM No. 2221131

>>2220906
That was my ex. His mother is a recovering alcoholic and he projected all of his mom issues onto me. We both have ADHD. He's my ex now but should have been a long time ago. I was mommying him at one point, it made him sexually unattractive, but of course he took that personally like I was being abusive for telling him that being his mommy all the time isn't hot.

Anonymous 10/24/24 (Thu) 04:45:26 PM No. 2221185

File: 1729788326062.png (102.68 KB, 400x400, 1562643582277.png)

is it possible to be happy as autistic person? like to live a normal, healthy life, not in escapism but in reality
my whole life ive been very disconnected from the human experience, ive always felt like i cant understand people and they cant understand me. i was about 7 when i started showing signs of depression like crying all the time and low self esteem. i felt like this because of my neglectful mother and being bullied/outcasted at school
my escapism has always been pretty bad, my parents allowed me to spend hours on the family pc as a kid instead of socializing, ive always been more interested in video games, cartoons, drawing, etc than reality. im 22 and ive never had any romantic relationship, and ive only ever had maybe one or two good friends at a time. i guess im just wondering if theres a place for us in this world? i want to be happy. i dont want to hurt anymore. i feel suicidal on-and-off because i feel like i dont belong here and like i should just die and be at peace or get reincarnated on another planet where i can find happiness. sorry for rambling so much. i hope somebody can understand what im trying to say

Anonymous 10/24/24 (Thu) 05:40:32 PM No. 2221263

>>2221185
it's possible, but you have to redefine happiness to do so, and it can take a long time becoming comfortable with/in yourself. you're still very young and you have things you enjoy doing, right? a lot of us struggle with mental health issues because it's exhausting being autistic/having ADD and life can be so cruel, but there are always silver linings.

Anonymous 10/24/24 (Thu) 05:51:19 PM No. 2221271

I'm exhausted, nonnies. Whether I mask or not, it makes no difference - I'm still considered weird by everyone, looked down on, patronised and thought of as a loser. Although I don't like status symbols and I'm quite schizoid, I'm beginning to feel hopeless about it all. In photos I look so pale and uncomfortable, like an ugly little girl with back problems. Even when I dress up cute and make an effort people avoid me and talk about me behind my back. I feel I can't do anything without annoying people or putting myself at risk, so every day around people stresses me to the point of illness. Because of my autism even the smallest things, like my need to keep to myself and the fact I'm quiet and helpful, are ruining my life.
If I talk back and act extroverted, I get made fun of. If I shrink away I get targeted by predators who want me to be their submissive gf, or people think I'm stuck up and hate me. I like myself too much to commit suicide and refuse to let it truly bother me, but I'm tired and angry and hate that I have to fight just to fucking EXIST in the same space as people who are actively malicious and cruel.

I kinda want to dress and act like a parody of a normie just to make myself laugh at how ridiculous these social norms are but I could never pull it off. It would be funny to see myself 'transform' into a hot(ter) girl just to point out to myself how fake this nonsense is, but it's too much effort. Being an allistic woman is hard enough, fuck doing all of that stuff when I'm like this. I don't know what to do or how to act, aside from counting the days until I'm old enough to completely stop giving a fuck.

Anonymous 10/24/24 (Thu) 06:01:16 PM No. 2221279

>>2221271
This could have been written by me. I don't have any solutions, but I hope it gets better for you.

Anonymous 10/24/24 (Thu) 06:07:28 PM No. 2221282

I watched this video and found it sweet these girls found a place they can be themselves. I wish I had an ADHD/autism bestie I could relate to.
>>2221271
I do dress as a parody of a normie when I have to for job interviews. It works fine at first glance, I get smiles and treated nice until I open my mouth and then I get that dirty stare they just love to give. I think I'm just going to embrace making normies uncomfortable because there's no reason to behave like that when I'm really not even bothering them. I don't understand why quiet people make them so uncomfortable. They're the clowns playing along with useless social rules kek don't feel bad

Anonymous 10/24/24 (Thu) 06:11:28 PM No. 2221289

>>2221282
thanks for sharing this, one of the girls in this is so like I was at that age, and it makes me happy that she found a positive environment!!

Anonymous 10/24/24 (Thu) 06:18:17 PM No. 2221297

>>2221263
i do have things i like doing, but theyre all mostly individual activities
>>2221282
god this made me tear up. i wish my parents cared this much about me. i was cutting and crying everyday in high school and my parents didnt care at all

Anonymous 10/25/24 (Fri) 01:38:01 AM No. 2222023

>>2220906
Tbf neurotypical men are also like that. It's just a male thing. My problem with autistic men is that they feel autistic women are "theirs" and should be obligated to date them.

Anonymous 10/25/24 (Fri) 01:43:09 AM No. 2222034

>>2221185
The hard truth is that it's possible for some of us but not others. Really depends on how severely lacking your social skills are. Even if you haven't had romantic relationships, but you can still form platonic ones, you could find joy in that. For those of us who can't even manage to make friends, it continues sucking. The loneliness is soul crushing.

Anonymous 10/25/24 (Fri) 04:13:32 AM No. 2222323

>>2221185
I was just like you at 22 nona! But now I can say I'm content and blissfully living. I've even had some stressful things happen lately but instead of it making me die of anxiety (which would have happened just a few years ago) I'm just calmly handling it. I'm not sure exactly what happened, it could just be me turning 30 because it truly feels like my brain turned on a switch then. I still love escapism, it's a dear hobby to me to engage in games, movies and books. I also doodle from time to time, creativity is a god send that you should treasure and nurture.

Anonymous 10/26/24 (Sat) 01:38:59 AM No. 2224047

>>2222034
i do have some friends, but i feel like im bad at maintaining them because socializing feels so tiring and foreign to me. i feel kinda selfish the way i have people message me first 95% of the time, but its genuinely really difficult for me..
>>2222323
im really glad that youre doing better than you used to be, i hope i can be the same too

Anonymous 10/26/24 (Sat) 03:36:57 AM No. 2224204

did something i procrastinated for 4 fucking months. the thing is i thought about the task every single day, but the shame of having to explain myself to the person i let down prevented me from doing what i needed to much earlier. i feel extreme shame while doing homework i missed and explaining to professors, scheduling new appointments after i forgot the date. how do i fix this feeling of dread? i wish i wasn't overly anxious and could feel nothing forever

Anonymous 10/26/24 (Sat) 03:24:39 PM No. 2224723

my friend thinks she has adhd and keeps talking to me about it and i don't know how to be honest with her without offending her but she definitely does not have it. she works two jobs and is in law school and performs well at all of them, she has a normal social life and takes good care of herself, etc. etc. not that people with adhd can't be successful but you need SOME serious impairment in at least one area of your life. she also told me she didn't have adhd symptoms until she was 27 and her symptoms are that she is late for things because she gets distracted scrolling on tiktok or instagram reels. i sold her some of my vyvanse and she told me she couldn't believe normal people felt so productive all the time, i'm like that's not how normal people feel. that's how people on amphetamines feel.
idk i'm not a doctor but i think people need to remember that adhd must actually be disabling for it to be a disorder. in my experience people with legit adhd come across as borderline autistic or at least extremely ditzy. actual adhd also always manifests before you're 12, you don't get it later in life. i am so embarrassed now to tell people i am adhd so i just don't, even if they get mad at me or think i'm stupid. i would rather people think i am an idiot for no reason rather than be associated with fakers.

Anonymous 10/26/24 (Sat) 03:58:01 PM No. 2224757

>>2224723
> i would rather people think i am an idiot for no reason rather than be associated with fakers.
Relatable, and also if someone isn't chronically online enough to think ADHD is often faked then they're instead probably an older person that thinks all ADHD people are difficult and bad news, so they will start perceiving you that way. I'm fucking stupid and brain dead, I don't know why anyone would want to roleplay this, I just can't understand it.

On the bright side if so many normal people start saying they have ADHD then in 50 years we can admit to it too, because popular opinion will be that it's meaningless kek

Anonymous 10/26/24 (Sat) 08:36:32 PM No. 2225168

>>2224723
>i sold her some of my vyvanse and she told me she couldn't believe normal people felt so productive all the time, i'm like that's not how normal people feel. that's how people on amphetamines feel.
I'm so sick of the myth that "adhd meds only work if you have adhd" or "if you have adhd meds turn you normal instead of high" like yeah no you're not special, you're really just on drugs and enjoying it. It's especially annoying when it's adults talking about their kids. I just don't think if you have to drug your child just to fit them into a system that's somehow the correct solution. Maybe if they can't handle sitting still in school for hours and hours every day every week, the school system is what is fucked up and not the kid.

Anonymous 10/26/24 (Sat) 10:51:43 PM No. 2225371

Is it worthwhile to hire a cleaner as a single woman with ADHD?

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 01:58:50 AM No. 2225582

You would think being quiet and unobtrusive would be considered passive but neurotypicals are retarded. If you aren't constantly giving them attention you're somehow snubbing them. I hate hypersocial types.

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 02:10:17 AM No. 2225588

I genuinely think my ADHD is so much less of a problem then my OCD. But, my OCD feeds into my ADHD. I get hyperfixated, but that wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't so hand-in-hand with my OCD shit. Got so much worse after I fucked up and stopped taking my meds twoish years ago (i've had a bad year). Tried to take my Vyvanse once afrer stopping my anti-depressents and the dosage way too fucking high and I couldn't sleep. I wanted to go on it Vyvanse again because it helped me with understanding time (dunno how to explain it but I have difficulty with it). So now I'm just stuck in this vicious cycle between my ADHD shit and OCD, totally unmedicated.

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 11:47:47 AM No. 2226016

>>2225582
I hate this too. When I try to be social they get upset with me for not doing it properly but when I keep to myself and don’t bother anyone they get upset with me for ‘snubbing’ them. Wtf am I supposed to do then?

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 11:57:42 AM No. 2226020

Do you do this thing were you put a second pillow next to you and sleep on the side, pressing your chest against it so it applies some short of pressure? Almost like sleeping on your chest but not quite.

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 12:00:38 PM No. 2226021

Hey guys do you guys do this thing where you lift your fork or spoon and put it into your mouth when eating? Jw(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 02:28:49 PM No. 2226227

>>2225582
i hate this so much. so you think i'm a loser and refuse to talk to me, yet i'm expected to constantly do something stressful (starting pointless small talk) just to appease your ego? and somehow we're the selfish and attention-seeking ones

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 02:29:59 PM No. 2226230

>>2226227
samefagging because it's like i have to always prove i'm not a 'threat' to these people, as if i'm a monster or a predator when i'm a shy 5'5 string bean who couldn't even fight a piece of paper kek

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 02:31:09 PM No. 2226231

>>2225371
If you can't keep your place clean yourself, yes. It's that or living in your own filth which is embarrassing and a potential health hazard.

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 02:39:06 PM No. 2226246

>>2225582
That's why when you meet people you introduce yourself as shy in a friendly manner.
"Hi, I'm Anon and I'm new here. Just letting you know now that I'm pretty shy and mostly keep to myself unless someone speaks to me first! I don't want you to think I'm ever like ignoring anyone on purpose or anything if I seem too quiet, I'm just shy."
You'll likely end up naturally sounding a bit autistic while doing this so they can put two and two together.

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 02:39:34 PM No. 2226247

>>2225582
holy fuck someone else gets this. thank you. i had a girl go off at me once because i was 'rude to her boyfriend.' how was i rude you might ask? well we had class together and i didn't say hi to him. i didn't say hi to anyone else either, i just sat and read my book before class started and left once it was finished. he also never said hi to me and we were not friends. but not jumping up and down with excitement like a neglected dog when you see someone = rude to neurotypicals.

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 02:45:49 PM No. 2226265

>>2226247
These people are exhausting. And I'll bet that if you said Hi to her boyfriend she would've raged at you for 'flirting' or some nonsense

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 02:57:05 PM No. 2226282

does anyone have the autistic woman phenotype?

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 03:15:54 PM No. 2226305

>>2225582
If you’re low social status you’re supposed to being trying to climb the social ladder by socializing

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 03:27:00 PM No. 2226318

File: 1730042820679.jpg (64.99 KB, 960x720, 1723829727784.jpg)

The doctor recommended i should be tested for adhd and it would explain a lot, but i feel ashamed because everyone and their dog has "adhd" so it feels stupid

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 03:35:49 PM No. 2226324

>>2226282
I wear glasses if that is what you are asking

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 03:55:12 PM No. 2226341

I've never gotten or tried to get a diagnosis for autism but it seems like more and more people joke about it to me and I don't know how to feel. The number one descriptor for me growing up was "weird", I've always had issues with physical contact even with my own family, I've had the same intense interest for a video game since I was 10. I've been told I'm a bitch/blunt by just about everyone in my life, am super clumsy and have never been able to sit still in my life except when I play my game. Even as an adult talking to coworkers I get laughs followed by "nona you're so weird!". I'm one to take everything at face value and people apologize because they realize I can't catch them joking instead of being serious. Sometimes I feel genuinely upset at the thought of actually being an autist this whole time. I'm afraid to look into a diagnosis because I don't want to look like a trend hopper trying to get a pass for acting like a retard. I go out of my way to avoid those online test things or looking into more information because I don't want it to cloud my personal judgment or give me conformation bias. My only diagnosis is major depression and dependent personality disorder, both in my mid 20's. I wonder if it's even worth it to talk to my doctor about.

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 04:04:01 PM No. 2226351

>>2226324
no i'm asking if you have thick low-set brows, a round androgynous face, unflattering fat distribution, and dead eyes

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 04:48:17 PM No. 2226400

>>2226351
wow ouch this is me to a T

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 05:02:03 PM No. 2226416

>>2226351
I had an autistic roommate and she looked exactly as you described

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 05:16:40 PM No. 2226440

>>2226318
i would go in for the diagnosis anyway nona, you don't have to tell anyone you have it if you don't want to and it will make things easier to deal with if you know if you have it or not. just be honest during the assessment and don't worry about all the retardation associated with the label right now.

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 06:31:07 PM No. 2226564

>>2226351
Idk if the features you're decribing link up with the ones being recognised atm
A broader or wider face
A shorter middle region of the face
A shorter distance between the upper lip and the nose
Flattened cheekbones
A wider mouth and nose

But it's thought those features will play a role in helping with diagnosis not long from now. Kinda freaky to think about
>Research from 2022 reviewed several models aimed at detecting autism using facial features and found many models could detect autism with 86%–95% accuracy. The researchers suggest that computational tools with facial detection could aid physicians or mental health clinicians with diagnosis.

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 06:48:02 PM No. 2226593

>>2226282
yes, I look like an absolute stacy and i assume all you fellow autist nonas do too

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 06:54:02 PM No. 2226604

>>2226593
Damn skippy!

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 07:09:13 PM No. 2226624

>>2226564
Sounds like absolute bullshit to me. Anecdotally it doesn't describe any autist I know, and it even sounds like the polar opposite of the lowest functioning autists I know who happen to have narrow long faces. They all really just look like their families, and not even compared to them to they have these traits.

And just logically, why the fuck would a neurological brain disorder (which they keep broadening to the point they cannot even define it in a meaningful way anymore) somehow result in people having the same facial features? It's just not that kind of disorder.

The only way I could see it being true in any way is if it detects low functioning "autists" who actually have some other physically visible disorder that also looks like the popular image of low functioning autism because they're drooling retards. But it honestly just reads suspiciously more like white supremacists views on other races.

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 10:02:00 PM No. 2226845

File: 1730066520409.jpg (54.28 KB, 1080x742, 1000015252.jpg)

I need ADHD medication or else I'm not going to pass this retarded fucking course. Ritalin. Adderall. Anything. I don't have anyone to prescribe me pills and the doctors here are too stingy when it comes to stimulant medication anyways. I lack the mental discipline to ground myself. I'm too sensory-seeking to focus in a classroom doing repetitive filler assignments that don't have anything to do with the program's primary subject. I want to scream noners. I'm used to having structure in academic settings and it's practically non-existent here.

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 10:20:20 PM No. 2226865

>>2226845
….is picrel relevant or?

Anonymous 10/27/24 (Sun) 10:27:53 PM No. 2226870

>>2226865
Embellishment

Anonymous 10/28/24 (Mon) 10:51:29 AM No. 2227578

File: 1730112689337.jpg (85.9 KB, 1080x837, 1643061738400.jpg)

I am going to get medicated for ADHD soon. What changes did you notice nonnies? I am excited but scared because i had terrible experience with medication before.

Anonymous 10/28/24 (Mon) 02:19:19 PM No. 2227724

I'm not sure how to word this, do neurotypical brains prioritize other people? As in, the most important and engaging thing in the room at any given time is always the other humans there?

Anonymous 10/28/24 (Mon) 02:21:18 PM No. 2227726

>>2227724
Yeah absolutely not.

Anonymous 10/28/24 (Mon) 02:46:59 PM No. 2227737

>>2227578
The biggest thing I noticed was how much calmer I felt. My biggest issue is hyperactive thoughts, so I really noticed my brain not bouncing between topics. I did have a lot of side effects on adderall though, like extreme thirst and tension headaches when it would wear off so I rarely take the meds.

Anonymous 10/28/24 (Mon) 03:03:20 PM No. 2227748

>>2227578
seconding thirst and migraines, it is helpful to get candies on your first week to suck on, drink lots of water and have tylenol. on the first week you will feel drowsy and high but it will wear off and you will feel normal. i have less racing thoughts on the medication. when i think "I have to do something right now" i feel less of an impulse to drift away from the task. i start working on it. it does improve focus but the problem is it can be wasted on non productive things. sometimes i play video games for hours straight or spend time rearranging my room instead of working on what i need to. before the meds kick in, you need to begin what you want to do for the day or atleast have it in front of you. also it works best to eat it with a protein filled meal or you will get jitters.

Anonymous 10/28/24 (Mon) 03:58:05 PM No. 2227802

Anyone who's at uni yet suffers the examination season? I can't cope with the pressure, I end up burned very quickly showing even physical symptoms like migraines and rashes, I end up messing my strict routines and it leds to a spiraling down with anxiety and depression making a come back.

Anonymous 10/28/24 (Mon) 04:11:44 PM No. 2227815

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>>2227578
Happy for you anon. It took me a bit to find the right medication, amphetamines like Vyvanse and Adderall didn’t help at all. I had migraines and severe fatigue when I took them, while my symptoms went untreated. Methylphenidate based meds like Ritalin and Concerta ended up being what was right for me.
I don’t really feel them “click” into place the way some people describe. I take them and in an hour I am no longer bed rotting but doing stuff like my laundry or replying to emails. My anxiety is markedly decreased and I begin to look forward to interacting with my hobbies. It doesn’t solve all of my problems but I am in a better position to at least work on those problems when I’m medicated. It’s a pretty subtle shift for me.

Anonymous 10/28/24 (Mon) 05:33:32 PM No. 2227934

>>2227724
Yes but no. The way you phrase it like it's the most engaging thing that they're always drawn to - no. However as humans we're biologically wired to spot other humans. It's why if you draw two spots and a curved lined under you see a smiley (human) face. It's also why people prefer ads and thumbnails with human faces in them. But all of that works on a sub-conscious level, and on the flip side it can also mean you're less drawn to something, like if you see a painting of a face in a changing room you may feel uneasy like you're being watched. So human brains are wired to spot other humans, but it doesn't mean they're automatically engaging or important to us. They can also make you feel bad and make us want to leave, or wish that they would leave.

We know that autists have this too, because plenty of autists have an aversion to eye-contact. That aversion is the same as the appeal others feel to people, they stem from the same brain function. If you truly lacked this ability to be drawn to humans you would be fully neutral; you'd be able to walk around naked around people without a care because they'd be no different than walking past a rock.

Anonymous 10/28/24 (Mon) 05:51:30 PM No. 2227972

>>2227934
Part of me feels weird because I can ignore people or not focus on them (ie do stupid things without caring) but then I’m also fixated on people to the extent that
I can even tell someone is staring from a foot away when my back is turned … is this an autism thing or am I just Insane

Anonymous 10/28/24 (Mon) 06:06:22 PM No. 2228001

Let's talk about ADHD and cleaning

Anonymous 10/28/24 (Mon) 10:49:03 PM No. 2228414

>>2227972
>I can even tell someone is staring from a foot away when my back is turned
Well a foot is very short lol, but nah you can't. That's just a very common paranoia that lots of people have. Honestly you sound super normal nona, you just seem obsessed with the idea that something is wrong with you, that you're "insane", when you're not. I think you're just kinda stressed out and anxious at the moment.

Anonymous 10/29/24 (Tue) 11:51:25 AM No. 2229198

>>2226564
None of the above though I have gayface
ADHD-er btw

Anonymous 10/29/24 (Tue) 09:24:59 PM No. 2229981

Fuming at how awful I am at exams. I can explain concepts well, understand everything, and I still fail these fucking multiple choice questions. Why do I have to work so hard to do something people objectively less smart than me can do easily? It’s straight up humiliating having to spend hours studying stuff a non autistic child could remember, and yet even when I do that my memory fucks it up and I forget everything within a day., especially if I’m sitting the exam or studying right before my period. Teachers will ask me what I’m not understanding like I’m an idiot, and I won’t be able to tell them, because I don’t know!!! It makes me want to die but I can’t give up, I can’t let this shitty disorder ruin my life. Does anyone know how I can get my memory to actually work for once (or general exam technique)? I’m so stressed aaaaaa

Anonymous 10/29/24 (Tue) 10:37:43 PM No. 2230094

>>2229981
>I still fail these fucking multiple choice questions.
Not to belittle your struggle nona but I would have killed to have multiple choice questions in a an exam! In my country if you're given choices it's a funny little pop quiz, a serious exam would never do that.

Maybe you could explain that you're really really bad under pressure and ask if you could prove your knowledge one on one with the teacher? They may give an exception for you like that if they know you have a diagnosis.

Other than that I only know very basic studying techniques:
>write everything by hand on paper (not by typing it out)
>wait an hour or so, then write it all out again from memory without looking at any material. See where you forgot things and focus a bit extra on those segments. Wait for a bit again, then try writing it from memory again.
>use different colored pens as your brain will remember it easier
>say it all out loud, as if explaining it to someone
>even better if you have a friend/family member to actually explain it to (doesn't matter if they know about the topic as long as they're willing to listen) see if they understand what you're saying or if they have questions about it

And my personal ones:
>Draw what you are learning. Super simple sketches and lines (for example a person is at most a stick figure)
I find this helps maintain my own focus, and it helps my memory connect better then there are images even if they're just a few badly lines.
>"A is like B" method
I don't know why this helps lol but I always try to rethink things by likening them to other things. If a historical person lost a war I'll think of it like "King Bob lost the war hated by his people… like how voldemort lost in Harry Potter and his people, the Malfoys, hated him too". That's a silly simple example but it forces me to really think what the core of the thing is.
>if you hate a boring subject, insult the subject
I would literally write "this stupid ass king Bob who was probably a dickhead fought a stupid fucking war in 1679 that I do not give a fuck about". It's suddenly a lot more engaging when you get to shit talk the thing you hate doing kek

Anonymous 10/30/24 (Wed) 12:08:40 AM No. 2230219

I'm free from work for this week because I had a leg surgery and, just as I expected, my self care, interests, passions, and productivity at home are not killed because of my autism/adhd and depression but because of my work. When I have to spend 8 hours per day at work I have no energy left for any cleaning, cooking, personal hygiene, laundry, not to mention hobbies, I just drop my body on the bed after work, with my clothes on, I'm so exhausted. I had piles of dirty dishes, dirty clothes, I neglected my food intake, hygiene, hobbies, supplementation etc. Meanwhile, I've been home for 4 days and I already washed all my dirty dishes, done some laundry, started cleaning my place, took the trash out, prepared meals for myself each day and ate regularly (healthy food at that), made a list of all the meds/supplements I have to take, I went back to drawing (my hobby), watched 2 movies, started reading that book I wanted to read for months, and read on various other topics like Hindenburg, Titanic and the history of horse racing, and I started to listen music again. I even took a walk to a local park, a stray cat approached me and let me pet it and it made me so happy. I wouldn't have done ANY of that if during those 4 days I had to spend 32 hours at work. Seriously, how do people manage to work part time and pay all their bills while living alone? I never worked part time, but working full time is slowly killing me, my mental and physical health. On top of that my workplace is extremely toxic and more and more people fire themselves because I can't stand it. But I've been there for 3 years and it's my first job and I'm terrified of any changes.

Anonymous 10/30/24 (Wed) 12:21:25 AM No. 2230232

>>2228001
I'm pretty regular with surface-level daily cleaning (dishes and wiping up spills, cat litter etc) but if I ever do a deep clean of something I burn myself out and then quickly finish it and not do it again for like months

Anonymous 10/30/24 (Wed) 01:56:01 AM No. 2230383

I'm starting to get scared about the future, autists. It's starting to dawn on me how poorly I integrate in social settings and I'm going to be starting a job soon, I can tell everyone thinks I'm rude when I'm just quiet and stoic.

Anonymous 10/30/24 (Wed) 02:04:52 AM No. 2230392

>>2230383
If it's your first time working, you'll see yourself improve a lot. Before I did a 2 year stint in retail, I was also in my shell and at first it was hard to adjust to talking to people, but after a while I got really good at it and now in my day-to-day life I'm not as socially anxious or withdrawn anymore. I think these situations are scary at first when we don't have a lot of experience, but once we get in the groove of things it's not scary anymore. If you still worry about social integration, it might be helpful to read some self-help books aimed at improving social function. If you don't wanna appear rude, you'll just have to learn the subtle ways to signal to others that you're not rude.

Anonymous 10/30/24 (Wed) 07:56:57 AM No. 2230685

>>2230219
I feel for you, nonna. I left a toxic workplace when I finally realized it, not my hormones or a mental illness, was making me feel like shit. In my final months there I barely had energy to eat, I lost so much weight and was angry at everyone around me. Thanks to savings I could afford to be unemployed for a few months and I experienced the same as you: went back to special interests, started writing again, looked after myself and was able to clean the house consistently. Even normies struggle with the demands of work and it sucks that so many companies are reluctant to let employees WFH. I had one day WFH recently and the amount I got done was insane! Do you think you could find a remote job or something less office based? Those can be a godsend for us.

Anonymous 10/30/24 (Wed) 07:58:39 AM No. 2230687

>>2230392
Exactly this! Consistent exposure to social situations can be very tiring but it helps you learn the law of the land (ie NT social norms) and integrate a bit better It’s natural for it to take a bit slower for us lot but it’ll happen.

Anonymous 10/30/24 (Wed) 03:45:21 PM No. 2231177

>>2230687
Been working for a few years, I'm still as awkward as I was at the beginning and I feel like nobody respects me so, yeah

Anonymous 10/30/24 (Wed) 06:50:44 PM No. 2231535

Who else was a textbook autist? A real toe-walking, arm flapping, dinosaur collecting (and organizing), meltdown-having, prolonged nudity phasing SPERG. Power level with me. I used to switch off cartoons so I could watch infomercials.

Anonymous 10/30/24 (Wed) 08:31:39 PM No. 2231705

>>2228001
i used to be a disaster with cleaning until i started categorizing things and where they should be and giving myself an exact order of what should be cleaned so i dont just panic and shut down. ie i clean my dresser first and only my makeup and hygiene supplies belong there, then i clean my desk second and only office supplies and my laptop belong there etc. everything that doesnt fit in a category gets thrown out or put in a junk shoebox away in my closet. this works great for me. the main thing i struggle with is organizing clothes so i just keep them in a giant bin

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 01:23:45 AM No. 2232267

Does anyone else with ADHD have it where it almost entirely acted more like a traditional learning disability but struggled very little with executive function things? I have no problems with keeping my space clean and tidy. I never had problems with laziness when it came to talking care of myself eg. showering regularly, cooking for myself and I’m not someone that really procrastinates. However, I ALWAYS struggling really hard when it came to school. I also have dyslexia so that didn’t help but I was genuinely almost put in special ed classes and held back a school year because my math and reading comp scores were so poor. I never got to have elective classes because I had to have a ‘special’ class period that was basically just study hall to make sure I got my homework done. I didn’t know how to study no matter how much teachers and tudors tried to help me with it. It just seemed like I had a hard time comprehending the things I was being taught. Even with menial things like highlighting info in a textbook I didn’t understand wtf was important info vs unimportant info.

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 01:55:39 AM No. 2232353

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>>2231535
I fit the mold of an anti-social autistic person who has zero interest in people, seems narcissistic and sociopathic, the one that autistic people online are fighting so hard to prove doesn't exist and isn't true, but here i am!!

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 02:25:06 AM No. 2232455

>>2232353
as a hsp autist im so jealous of you aspd autists. You fags have it so easy when it comes to social situations or avoiding bullying

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 04:07:56 AM No. 2232766

>>2231535
>I used to switch off cartoons so I could watch infomercials.
KEKK based nona. This is cute. Did you like obscure local channels with ASMR-like vibes?
I don't know, i was more of a crybaby. I toe-walked, pretty late first words, my mom cried when i first started forming phrases. Food sensitive to the point where i had school staff always seated with me to make sure i ate at the cafeteria. I would often freak out but i always won (didn't eat). At home, if i didn't like food, i'd chew it for way too long, spit it out and tuck it somewhere nearby. Really scared of basic things like going on a slide. I would sob after knocking down objects or hitting furniture because i 'hurt' them. My parents didn't know what to do until my uncle explained that objects don't have eyes so they can't technically cry, completely fixed the issue kek. I wandered a lot too, whenever i was outside with people and felt bad i'd go hide in a bush or something, then the adults would go searching for me, scared as hell because there were lakes nearby and i wouldn't answer their calls kekkk
I thankfully got a lot better around age 9-10.
>dinosaur collecting
Lucky

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 07:59:51 AM No. 2232940

>>2232267
Yes! Sometimes I struggle to clean when I’m depressed or literally don’t have time to, but otherwise mine is more situational. As a kid I was very stereotypically adhd (always forgetting stuff, inattentive) but I think I’ve mellowed out now, and have developed strategies that work to power up my brain when I’m lethargic.

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 08:02:30 AM No. 2232943

>>2232455
As an “high functioning” type of autist, no we don’t. We get bullied a lot because people assume we’re normal and get confused and angry when we struggle with sensory stuff or social interactions. Having flat affect and not making an effort to socialize also makes you stand out in a bad way as a woman; can’t count the number of times people have had terrible opinions of me before we’ve even spoken. Men avoid me and women just think I’m a bitch and talk shit about me behind my back. Plus there’s the internal frustration at appearing normal but not quite being able to perform as well as a NT in various situations

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 08:33:35 AM No. 2232952

>>2231535
Pretty much. I flapped my arms whenever I got excited or upset until I was bullied out of it in elementary school, after that I would just pace or rock. I was obsessed with birds and would constantly read ornitology books. My favorite after school activity was reading through the list of deformity-causing conditions on wikipedia (the most interesting were the ones that make you slowly go blind, and the ones that come with retardation). When I was put in therapy I asked if I could just read the psychology books they had at the office, because I found the therapist annoying to talk to. I had frequent meltdowns at school. I didn't understand metaphors until I was 15 or so. I've since stopped with the most obvious behaviors and found work at the university, but people often tell me I come across as 'weird' as an adult.

To be honest, I kind of hate this new trend of "autism in women," because the lists of supposed features always seem so superficial and are never relatable to me.

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 11:36:20 AM No. 2233017

>>2232353
same nonny, glad to see another one

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 12:53:53 PM No. 2233078

>>2231535
>A real toe-walking, arm flapping, dinosaur collecting (and organizing), meltdown-having, prolonged nudity phasing SPERG.
All of the above past and present, except I never got into dinosaurs. I have dog and Pokemon plushies instead! My poor bestie has also had to deal with multi-hour spergfests (several times a week) about the useful features of historical clothes for months now and there is no end in sight.

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 01:22:21 PM No. 2233112

>>2232267
>Does anyone else with ADHD have it where it almost entirely acted more like a traditional learning disability but struggled very little with executive function things?
The thing quacks and TikTok stars don't wanna tell you is that this is how the majority of people with ADHD feel. Most of the people "with ADHD" that struggle with "executive dysfunction" are just lazy or have little experience with planning their days. ADHD becoming a TikTok trend was a lazy asshole's dream come true. A lot of cases of ADHD now are just misdiagnosed because quacks get paid big to dish out ritalin and adderall.

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 02:03:59 PM No. 2233172

>>2232267
I don't have the same experiences, but I did have this weird issue halfway in highschool where I completely stopped understanding math. Up until then, I was fine at it but during my Stats class, I realized how much I struggled with it and now I continue have difficulties with normal math (adding, subtracting, multiplication and divison) and statistics. I got out of that class because I geninulely couldn't process it. Though, weirdly enough, I always had issues with measurements and calculating distances/having spatial awareness and I didn't understand how to tell time until I was at least in middle school. I hate having to constantly use my calculator, but I legitmitely can't conceptualize it even when I write it out in hand.

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 02:25:28 PM No. 2233184

Does anyone constantly question their ADHD diagnosis for obvious reasons? Some of the symptoms of ADHD seem almost counterproductive to the typical ways that they assign "treatment", like:
>BED/Bulimia the two major eating disorders associated with ADHD, earliest "symptom" I can remember
>"Adults with ADHD are almost three times more likely to have a substance abuse disorder than adults without ADHD"
>didn't start abusing drugs until 18
So now as an adult, diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, after diagnoses of bulimia, bed, gad, ocd, etc., who's to say that any of these diagnoses are accurate?
Does anyone feel like a huge fraud because they have obvious addiction issues and it ties directly into people with ADHD being lazy addicts? Even if I do things that would comparatively make me seem not lazy, I feel like my foot's on the gas but my E-brake is on.

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 02:49:36 PM No. 2233196

>>2233172
Congratulations it's dyscalculia!
Everything is always comorbid.

It's similar for me, Google and a calculator can fix most of it, the worst part is just watching people's opinions of me drop when I have to count on my hands what number each month of the year is or whatever
Fwiw I am unfortunately the "lazy" inattentive adhd type, I do great in structured environments and then become a pile of shit when left to myself

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 02:54:50 PM No. 2233197

>>2233172
Same issue and it's my biggest insecurity. I'm probably just low IQ but I wish I tried harder at math as a kid, maybe then I could have been half decent as an adult. I can hardly do double digit calculations without fucking up.

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 03:23:08 PM No. 2233208

>>2232267
I don't have ADHD so this is super interesting to me! I don't actually know what the "core" of ADHD is, like how for autism is failing at the social aspects specifically. Would like to hear more from you or other ADHD nonas

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 03:29:26 PM No. 2233211

>>2233172
autist and I'm also shit at math, but my teacher treated me as if I was above average in it because I'd approach it "logically" to solve things I didn't understand that weren't even described in the textbook. So I think maybe I'm just bad at it because I hate it due to it being so boring. My teacher used to say "you guys have to learn math because you won't always carry a calculator" and now it's in our phones at all times so fuck you teacher, I don't need math kek

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 04:10:49 PM No. 2233242

>>2233208
Thank you Nona! It is frustrating because a lot of the people who talk about adhd mainly focus on executive functioning issues like laziness. I find they may have struggled in school in the sense that they procrastinated when it came to homework but still managed to get good grades. This was never the case with me. When I did get my diagnosis one of the accommodations at school I had was I’d get more time for tests and projects but this didn’t help me at all. When it came to tests I never had trouble finishing them on time in fact I was usually one of the first students to hand it in, same with projects. I hated some of my friends who would say their adhd made it difficult for them to study but then they’d still have amazing grades. Meanwhile I’d be in the school library for 2 hours after school and I was such a fucking retard even if I had my head buried in my textbook I somehow wasn’t able retain much of what I was studying. Math was the worst because obviously the numbers are different for every problem and it was more complicated than just following steps.

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 04:38:27 PM No. 2233276

>>2233112
Tards that get hyper-defensive about being called lazy make me want to off myself. I put in so much effort to not be a dirty POS but I can still recognize when I am being lazy. The people who can't do dishes or take a shower because much adhd truly have no shame it feels. Maybe I am just hyper-sensitive about this because my parents were the most stereotypical lazy poors ever (hoarding house, unemployed, BS disability claims, low involvement in their children's lives) and even they could admit they were just naturally lazy people.

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 04:46:33 PM No. 2233289

>>2231535
I was as a child. I would spin around in circles on the playground instead of playing with other kids and was obsessed with dinosaurs. When I learned that animals tend to walk on their toes, I did the same thing. It also took me a while to stop having meltdowns. I never had any interest in watching anything live-action and only watched cartoons. On a few occasions, I even made extremely autistic collages of my favorite cartoon/anime characters in Paint, printed them out, and stuck them on my binder. I was bullied relentlessly of course.

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 05:47:35 PM No. 2233348

>>2233242
I feel for you nonna, this was my experience too. Even the ‘dumb’ kids were able to get better grades than me in most subjects (ie everything apart from History, Politics and English) and nothing I read seemed to go in. Even the dates in history screwed me over, if information was too similar my brain would just short circuit kek

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 06:08:27 PM No. 2233368

>>2233348
I always thought I was decent at History and English but when it came to essays I'd have huge problems connecting my thesis to the points I was making. I would make one point but my examples would either barely be connected or wouldn't make sense kek. Also, my grammar and spelling were atrocious. I still don't understand the sounding out words to spell them. I think all the spelling that I do have is mostly from muscle memory. Same with simple math, we did have to memorize the multiplication table but I only ever had about 70% of it down in my brain. The other 30% is just a huge question mark.

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 08:25:06 PM No. 2233537

>>2233197
Nta but I don't think it's because of IQ, my IQ is slightly above average (nothing special, but still far from retard level right) but I'm ABSOLUTELY retarded at math and it's also my biggest insecurity not related to my looks and it makes me feel stupid. I failed a class when I was 16 because of math and because nobody cared enough to help me. Like people now think I'm smart at all, like when there's a problem they say "ooh go to anon, she will know it" and then suddenly they see I need calculator for simple math or even my fingers and they like uhhhh. Or I remember when the girl who used to bully me at work saw that I had a problem with reading time from an analog clock and she made fun of me… Jesus christ I felt so humiliated

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 08:53:12 PM No. 2233577

>>2233172
>Though, weirdly enough, I always had issues with measurements and calculating distances/having spatial awareness
I have ASD and while I don’t really have an issue with math, I do have this problem too. I can’t judge distances or movement to save my life. Is that car about to hit me or can I cross the road at my leisure before it gets here? Who knows! I certainly don’t. The only reason I’ve never gotten in a traffic accident is because I’m overly cautious and wait for ages for everything else to pass before I risk it. People always think the reason I don’t have a driver’s licence is because I’m lazy or anxious but really it’s because I can’t function in traffic without traffic lights telling me when it’s safe to move.

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 09:07:36 PM No. 2233593

>>2233196
Thanks nona. I knew it was probably a legit learning disability, but I didn't know the term for it. It sucks that you can't 'fix' it as an adult. I'm also the 'lazy'/disorganized type and need structure. Though, some of it might be related to how my OCD paralyzes me sometimes.
>>2233197
Same! I played one of those quick quiz games for the WII with my sibling/cousins and there were a lot of math games. I almost started crying because I just couldn't do it and everyone was awkwardly judging me for it even when it was just adding. They judged me for not being able to remember how much tax is too (and I certainly can't multiply the cost of a good with that tax in my head), but I can't remember that. >>2233577
Driving lessons are how I learned that I genuinely don't know how to measure a metre or two metres. Like how am I supposed to imagine that? I can't. I feel like I'll only be able to drive if I constantly have a passenger who drives who can tell me directions or a really loud GPS. People always assume so much about why someone might not have a drivers licence. Sometimes it's a safety issue.

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 11:21:16 PM No. 2233758

do any nonnies have tips for low dopamine? ive been on the same stimulant dosage for years now and its sort of a baseline, but i dont think increasing it would help that much because i struggled with intense anxiety in the past and i worry about adapting to the new dosage, too. i guess i could try?

i just dont feel as enthusiastic or motivated or attentive like i used to be. nothing is good enough lately. i sleep well, exercise and eat healthy and take vitamins so im not sure what else can be done? maybe try NAC again or meditation? i know this question is asked a dozen times in adhd spheres

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 11:33:15 PM No. 2233787

>>2233758
honestly from someone who used to take stims every day the only way to stop the dopaminergic burnout/anhedonia is taking a break from them. it will be hard at first but your cardiovascular system will thank you in the long run. maybe start by taking them fewer times per week instead of cutting them out entirely

Anonymous 10/31/24 (Thu) 11:51:50 PM No. 2233811

>>2233787
i do sometimes, but i find myself to be even more useless UNLESS im having a really good day and i am disciplined enough. i used to be able to skip them with a bit of caffeine and NAC, but now that im on a mood stabilizer i think it knocks the dopamine down a bit, too. there is also probably a placebo element too and if i can plan my day out well enough i might be able to skip a day once a week or something.

my hormones affect me a lot and ive been intaking a lot of caffeine lately so maybe i should stop that again and see.

i dont think ill be able to cut out stimulants entirely for a very long time, and thats also why i stick to a very low dose. it makes me sad but my life isnt structured enough right now and i dont have the euphoria of my mental illness prior to the mood medicine. also would binge eat for dopamine if i did. were you able to cut them out?

sorry for the blog post thank you again nonnie

Anonymous 11/01/24 (Fri) 12:30:39 AM No. 2233839

>>2233811
i was basically forced to cut them out entirely because i started getting overwhelming healthy anxiety about them. i am pretty useless without them but on days i need to get something done i take low doses of memantine instead. your mileage with it may vary, it was originally developed for dementia but now it is gaining recognition for alleviating executive function problems in OCD, autism, and ADHD. It's a lot gentler, seeing as it was developed for elderly people to take.

Anonymous 11/01/24 (Fri) 02:27:44 AM No. 2233980

ultrasperg here, sometimes i have war flashbacks to when i was around 10 years old and just casually started masturbating on the couch while my parents were watching tv. i didn't know what sex was or that it was considered socially unacceptable, i just knew it felt good. god i was like a bonobo or something

Anonymous 11/01/24 (Fri) 08:48:49 AM No. 2234327

A huge pet peeve of mine is when people treat ‘female autism’ as if it’s a whole separate condition and not just autism modulated by female socialisation. Relatives of mine just watched Atypical and keep going on about how completely different I am from the sperg protagonist, when in reality I am very similar to the protagonist except that I was forced to learn how to cope and behave differently because I wasn’t coddled like he was and my behaviour was interpreted differently because I was a girl. Looking back my autism was very obvious even in childhood, except back then autism was considered a boys’ disorder and girls who behaved that was were simply written off as shy, anxious and difficult for no reason. I used to spend every single family gathering sobbing at the dinner table while people rolled their eyes at me until I could sneak off to a quiet room, wrap myself in a coat or blanket or curtain and obsessively play Pokémon on my dad’s Gameboy while rocking back and forth until I calmed down. If I were a boy that would’ve been considered a strong indicator of autism but because I was a girl I was simply considered ‘shy’ and ‘rude’. Even as an adult my behaviour is interpreted completely differently because I’m a woman when at its core it’s the same thing autistic men experience, except that unlike autistic men I’ve been conditioned to inconvenience other people as little as possible and put their needs before my own.

Anonymous 11/01/24 (Fri) 02:15:16 PM No. 2234542

>>2233980
That's just being a kid. My female friend (normie, so non-disordered person) at age 10-11 essentially wanted us all (girl friend group) to masturbate in bed together. None of us knew that was what it was or that it was sexual in nature. It was basically just humping a pillow kek

I've also had several female friends who wanted to kiss me/each other as "practice" and I was the one who thought that was creepy and weird, yet they all saw it as normal and me as weird for refusing it.

I also got told a story by a therapist about a guy who used to suck his friends dick and he'd suck his back, at age 5-6 or so. They just wanted to see if it was like sucking their thumbs and they couldn't reach their own dicks. Neither turned out gay later in life, so it really was childhood innocence.

Anonymous 11/01/24 (Fri) 02:26:38 PM No. 2234562

>>2234327
I feel like there are different "types" of autism. Doesn't matter if they're male or female, some people with autism are just exactly like me, they function like me and we struggle in the same areas. We still sometimes react differently due to sex differences, like the males get more aggressive when agitated… because they're male. That's no difference than other groups of people.

It's good that they're spotting that the signs can present differently in girls, but it's not helpful when the expectation then becomes "girls handle it better than the fragile boys who need more help" because the girls get neglected and the boys babied and spoiled. It harms both in the long run.

Anonymous 11/01/24 (Fri) 02:44:10 PM No. 2234587

What's the key "trait" to being successful/happy as an autist (adhd also welcome to answer) in your opinion?

In my opinion, it's simply overcoming shyness/introversion. No matter how weird you are you can get friends who think you're the crazy fun life of the party, or the quirky artistic creative one. Consistently in the autist friends I've seen who struggle the most is that what is really holding them back is being shy. They're miserable, they lost contact with childhood friends and don't know how to make new ones. They don't speak in group settings, they don't take classes or activities and on the rare occasion that they they a new thing they still refuse to speak to anyone and want the other people to do the work and the talking. They never get anywhere.

With all the various weirdos I've met in life I see the same thing, they can be weird as all hell but if they're open and friendly everyone likes them anyway. If they're silently staring into the floor or a wall everyone avoids them. I was once in a group and a guy (giving obvious big autist/ mentally disabled vibes) who was doing just that, staring angrily with a twisted face into a wall. I found him scary and wanted to avoid him. But then suddenly out of the blue he started talking to me, as I was the closest person by chance, he talked about the paintings on the wall and he got really into the art of it. Turns out he was super friendly and very knowledgeable about art. So I went from thinking he was scary into thinking he was one of the most interesting people there to talk to. So the next time I saw him stare creepily into a wall I wasn't scared, I knew he was actually nice at that point. I saw other people talk to him too so I know they reached the same conclusion. He could so easily have been seen as a freak, avoided by everyone, but because he wasn't shy and didn't stay quiet he made friends. Meeting him made me try harder at overcoming my own shyness and it's made my life a lot better.

Anonymous 11/01/24 (Fri) 03:40:45 PM No. 2234633

>>2234587
>they can be weird as all hell but if they're open and friendly everyone likes them anyway.
This has been true in my experience. People are willing to overlook some serious retardation as long as it's accompanied by a happy disposition and an upbeat attitude. Being aware of and "owning" how weird you are is also important. Like if I'm jazzing my hands everywhere and someone's like "Uh, why are you doing that?" I have two response options:
>Smile at them and reply in a chipper tone "It's a good day! My hands are extra happy!" Then continue flapping like a queen, or
>Look uncomfortable, put my hands down, say "Sorry." Then be an embarrassed lady with sad hands until they leave.
Both responses acknowledge that I know what I'm doing, but people tend to react better to the former than the latter. The people who double down on being negative when faced with the positive response are usually bullies who somehow made it to adulthood without molting their mean girl/bully boy feathers.

Anonymous 11/01/24 (Fri) 04:59:50 PM No. 2234742

>>2234587
For me, it's finding people I get on with and share a philosophy with; positive people encourage those around them to be positive, and they tend to be more open-minded. I spent too much time in younger years trying to befriend people I'd never see eye to eye with, ad it only made me feel worse.

Definitely agree with your point about overcoming shyness. Sadly I've spent so much time in my bubble, cutting myself off from bullies, that I no longer feel like I can share stuff with people. I know I'm an upbeat and happy person deep down but every time I try to show that kinder side I get picked on or manipulated. I'm often so burnt out and anxious that I simply can't relax around people. It sucks because some of my colleagues are super nice, but I don't know how to show them I'm open to being friends!!

Anonymous 11/01/24 (Fri) 05:49:20 PM No. 2234823

>>2234633
>People are willing to overlook some serious retardation as long as it's accompanied by a happy disposition and an upbeat attitude
And similarly I knew a male autist who was high functioning and should be able to make friends pretty normaly but he was SO fucking miserable to be around. Always negative, moping around, complaining, talking about how everything is bad all the time… It's infective. Being around him was truly depressing so all of his friends left him, and it had nothing to do with the autism.

Anonymous 11/01/24 (Fri) 11:31:37 PM No. 2235225

>>2233980
KEKKKKKKKK
>>2234327
100%. It's like they can't differentiate between how it's perceived and what it actually is. Of course if you think that mutism is 'shyness', low social awareness is 'rudeness' and other traits are 'quirky', you'll think that female autism is some kind of completely different condition. But it's not, and i'm not against the idea that autism presents differently in girls, but the whole 'so us women have a special, girl autism' thing always pissed me off. It's a big reason for why autism fakers are so common these days, too. If you keep insisting that it's some kind of girl syndrome, women who do not have autism will flock to it to explain unrelated phenomena.
>>2234587
>In my opinion, it's simply overcoming shyness/introversion.
True, i think it slightly depends on where you live. I read that in the US, shyness is really frowned upon, other cultures might be more forgiving. My family is from a very social and open culture so i feel for american autists kek

Anonymous 11/02/24 (Sat) 11:27:38 AM No. 2235724

I’ve found a social group full of autistic people and they’re all great… but I get the sense they think I’m aallistic and are wary of me because of that. I can’t quite drop my masking and I don’t have a diagnosis yet so I don’t know how to reassure them I understand them and relate. Meanwhile among allistic people I’m treated like a freak and shunned for being weird. Can’t win!!

Anonymous 11/02/24 (Sat) 01:59:30 PM No. 2235792

>>2235724
>allistic
Well step one is stop using this term kek.
I think it's fine if you openly admit that you aren't diagnosed though you suspect you're on the spectrum, and that even if you were to get tested and they straight up say you aren't autistic at all you still do relate to those struggles. That's the mindset you should have to begin with.
As an undiagnosed person you should absolutely be open to the fact that you're possibly not autistic at all (and realize it would be a good thing if you're not). Right now you've found a group whose inclusion of you seemingly depends on you having a diagnosis too - so now you "need" to be convinced you 100% are autistic too so you can be in with the group. That's a dangerous position to be in. Ask these people if they'd still be your friend or if they'd like/trust you less if you weren't on the spectrum. If they wouldn't want you then, then they're not good friends anyway.

Anonymous 11/02/24 (Sat) 05:52:44 PM No. 2235953

>>2235792
Thankfully they won't kick me out or anything if I'm not autistic, it's more that I want to show I understand and care for their struggles on a personal level, and yet feel like I'm coming off as an insufferable normie type who thinks they're autistic because they watched a TikTok once. It feels as if I have to prove my autism so they don't think I'm making fun or brushing off their lifestyles, but then that's just reverse-masking, and hurts even more.

Anonymous 11/02/24 (Sat) 05:53:03 PM No. 2235954

File: 1730569983360.gif (699.61 KB, 640x480, 0c0f96eac207c7e4977e4a08a5449e…)

How do you intentionally flirt when you have aspergers? many aspie women say that they are flirty on accident but I have the opposite problem. Once every blue moon a guy approaches me at a party with the intention of flirting at least I think they are flirting? a non-aspie friend once told me i was being flirted with but they always stop because i come off as uninterested or rude. My goal isnt to hookup with anyone I just think light flirting seems fun and i want to try it

Anonymous 11/02/24 (Sat) 06:25:48 PM No. 2235991

>>2235954
I have no idea how to do it intentionally but on the few occasions I’ve been accused of flirting, I was always joking around (bantering I guess?) with guys whose sense of humour was similar to mine. Ironically these were men I had zero romantic interest in whatsoever which made it easier for me to say dumb shit without caring about how I came across. When I actually am interested in someone I overthink everything, clam up and come across as uninterested. Fun times.

Anonymous 11/02/24 (Sat) 08:27:04 PM No. 2236209

>>2235954
There are TWO types of flirting: flirting with intent, and flirting for fun. Flirting with intent is just what it sounds like - an individual flirting for the expressed sake of sexual or romantic purposes. I.e., when you really want to go out on a date with someone you can flirt with them to signal that to them. Flirting for fun, or "playful flirting," is basically a form of light teasing or banter. I.e, sometimes it's just fun to flirt and be flirted with, even if both parties don't want anything to come from flirting. Playful flirting can actually be a great way to boost self-esteem and confidence. This dichotomy is sometimes blurred, to the detriment of both parties (e.g., a lot of workplace harassment starts with playful flirting, but then one party takes the play a bit too seriously).

The reason you see a lot of aspie women saying that they're flirty on accident is because a lot of flirting involves mirroring - something that aspies do almost unconsciously to mask themselves. For example, prolonged eye-contact can be interpreted as flirtatious - but for someone with aspergers, eye-contact is difficult and that might result in either prolonged eye-contact or no eye-contact at all. Part of this diagnosis is a certain ignorance to many social cues, and sometimes this manifests itself in giving off certain cues to others without realizing it (like when flirting for example).

My three suggestions to you, and to others that struggle with flirting, is:
>Number 1,
Watch a lot of highly-rated romcoms or romantic movies in general and really focus on how the romantic interests interact with one another. You may quickly notice the different cues both actors give off to one another that makes their mutual attraction obvious to the viewer. On the flip side of this, purposefully find romantic movies where reviewers complained about a lackluster romantic tension between the leads. Watch these movies and try to note down exactly WHY the romantic tension doesn't pay off - this manifests itself primarily in the two lead actors unintentionally missing the others' non-verbal cues, which makes the romance more difficult to believe for the audience.
>Number 2,
This is more so for your protection, but I suggest browsing moid "dating tip" websites or listening to pick-up artists. The reason for this is a lot of these retarded moids that believe in this stuff WILL use outside resources like those websites or infamous dating coaches. If you are aware of the same "tips" and "tricks" that are out there, you can be sure to avoid these types of men that use them and you can more easily identify the various strategies that moids like this use. Now, you never actually want to USE any of these strategies, you just want to be AWARE of them so that you can avoid talking to these creeps and avoid being swindled by them. Be aware that any resource you look for should be written BEFORE 2022.
>Number 3,
Look into dating guides for people with autism or aspergers. There are a lot of really great self-help resources out there for people like us to develop our knowledge on romance and our ability to engage with romance or sexuality. So much of flirting depends on non-verbal signals and cues that may be difficult for people with aspergers to parse or identify, but in studying them it becomes much easier to recognize them and to use them yourself. Be aware that any resource you look for should be written BEFORE 2022.

I think in doing these two things, aspies can better understand how flirting looks, or at least how normies perceive flirting. When I was in my late teens, flirting was very difficult for me because I never understood when to use it or how to use it, but now that I'm in my late 20s, I actually really enjoy flirting because I find it fun now that I'm more experienced and I know more about it.

Anonymous 11/02/24 (Sat) 10:01:01 PM No. 2236400

>>2235991
>When I actually am interested in someone I overthink everything, clam up and come across as uninterested. Fun times.
Same…
>>2235954
If you can't find it in yourself to seem 'kind' and interested, you can rely on aggressive humor. I'm like >>2235991 but playfully mocking people i like, being a little offensive (pay close attention to whether they get offended or playfully insult you back) has always worked. With women it's trickier but usually men immediately get it. Or go the direct way, it takes guts but the more you give compliments the better you get at it. Being extremely earnest and just stating what you like about someone is a good way to disarm the other. Men are so easy to flirt with, even if you're lacking in skill they will respond unless they're absolutely not into you.

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 02:31:09 AM No. 2236747

Maybe a long shot but have any other autists had painful fixations on random people throughout her life? I feel like I'm incredibly immature for feeling bad about not being their number one it makes me feel ill and some days I can't do anything. Apparently it's part of PDA but it's so underresearched who knows. It's pretty embarassing kek

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 02:48:56 AM No. 2236811

>>2236747
I fixate on people but it's more of an indifferent curiosity than an emotional investment. I have personal lolcows that I observe from afar and people I just find interesting for whatever reason.
>I feel like I'm incredibly immature for feeling bad about not being their number one it makes me feel ill and some days I can't do anything.
It sounds like you don't have many close relationships.

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 02:53:08 AM No. 2236828

>>2236747
A related concept is limerence. Getting fixated on specific people can definitely happen heavily with autism and with ADHD (although of course like with most stuff it’s just an extension of the human condition, people get enamored with other people and feel heavily invested in if their feelings are returned).
To be honest I think the long term fixation aspect of autism is part of what has made my marriage so successful, I became completely enamored with him very early on back when we were in high school and it just stayed that way forever, and I think he is also probably on the spectrum so he has had an easy time being mutually fixated on me for all this time.
I also think it’s probably why I have a routine of reading about certain cows during my free time throughout the day. I just decided they interested me one day and then it never stopped.

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 06:09:52 AM No. 2237096

>>2235954
>many aspie women say that they are flirty on accident but I have the opposite problem.
I'm a strong believer that this isn't possible. Because flirting is always intentional as such, there is no "accidental" flirting. Another person misinterpreting your intentions is on them, it doesn't mean you were flirting. In the same way you can't accidentally do something on purpose, because if you do it on purpose it wasn't an accident.

Men can be dense as fuck. But at the same time A LOT of them will think EVERYTHING a female does is flirting with him. They can be the ugliest motherfucker on earth and yet somehow think a 10/10 hottie was flirting with him because she looked roughly in his direction for half a second too long. A cashier will politely smile at him, like she does with every customer, but now he's convinced she wants to fuck him because "she smiled at me, that's totally flirting". If the cashier was hot he's flattered, if she's ugly he's grossed out that a whore dared flirt with him as if she had a chance. But the cashier wasn't "accidentally flirting", she was literally just doing her job.

I find a lot of the time it's "jealous" friends who insist either I, or the guy I was talking to, was totally flirting. Neither of us actually flirted, and neither of us thought the other was flirting. It's just the outside friend wanting to start some shit because they wish they got attention instead of you/him, or they're a huge gossiper. They're also typically the kind to think "men and women can't be just friends". So your friends insisting someone was flirting with you really don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 06:34:38 AM No. 2237111

>>2236747
Honestly no, but curiously I feel like I'm often the one people end up fixating on. Girls I knew who I honestly didn't have much interest in would fight each other about who was my best friend. It was very uncomfortable. One would copy my interests and pretend my hobbies were her hobbies even though she didn't even like those things. My personal favorite things that she literally learned about seconds ago (from me mentioning it) were now her favorite things - that I wasn't allowed to have. She didn't even seem to like me that much, it was more she just wanted to take everything from me. I don't know why she chose me, there wasn't anything special about me (apart from the undiagnosed autism kek) I guess she just chose the easiest victim or something. It went on for many years and I still have trouble sharing things I like with others because of her.
The worst ones were males who were actually stalking me, some thankfully just online but one was irl and showed up at my house several times. Thank goodness I had male family members home to chase him off. I really wonder why it's always me.

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 09:46:03 AM No. 2237222

>>2198042
Yeah. I still don’t understand sex or alcohol.
When people are nice to me at my desk job it comes across as my coworkers trying to be my mom or dad so I am aware that I give off womanchild energy.

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 12:00:37 PM No. 2237279

I still struggle so much with ambiguity and misunderstandings in social interactions. I would feel my insides burning or even cry when other kids didn't get what i tried to say. Worst case scenario is when i try to articulate something and the other person instantly reacts to one word and says 'so you think [uncharitable thing]'. Whenever this happens these days this pain is still searing, i feel a mixture of paralyzing fear and anger..? I can't quite describe the feeling but it's a deep, primal upset. I manage to push it down in the moment but it comes back to haunt me, always. I often think about the possibility of having my words being twisted whenever i speak up. It's way worse when it's someone i care about or a deeply personal subject (obviously), i then feel dejected and like i've failed at being human. A similar thing is whenever i lie by omission to 'fit in' (ie. Not say what i think, remaining silent) i feel like shit and like i've betrayed my 'integrity' or whatever. I'll be legitimately angry at myself for choosing the more pro-social option like shutting up or pretending to agree with a 'yeah..' instead of making things weird. I've seen other spergs talk about this so i wondered if you guys relate to how excruciating it can be

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 02:39:36 PM No. 2237382

>>2237279
You put an expierence I couldn't into words. I know I'm supposed to be the one to apologize for any social misunderstandings but I don't give a fuck at this point, I can't stand sensitive, bad faith people. If you aren't smart enough to pick up on disability you probably aren't worth talking to anyways.
>guilt over pro-social behavior
It depends, in most scenarios I just want the interaction to be over as soon as possible so I don't really care if I go against my personal convictions or "integrity" as you put it, but I expierenced this in the past. It's congruent with PDA profiles.

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 03:22:15 PM No. 2237415

>>2237279
I know the feeling, but at the same time I developed a sense of superiority at a young age. It was a monumental thing for me when I understood that the other kids were too stupid too understand that what I was saying were literal facts about reality. I kid you not the ability to be able to go "OH this person is simply an idiot" has actually saved me a lot of pain. I never looked down on the other person for being stupid though, in my child mind they'd learn it eventually when they grew up.

But I do struggle with lying sometimes, especially with current troon stuff. It bothers me that I have to pretend to think it's ok that mentally ill people get cut up to "fix them". That I have to pretend rapists are women and that I think they're harmless… I have to lie by omission to not lose my social groups but my eye is twitching from how badly I wanna correct them.

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 04:00:47 PM No. 2237433

any substance user adhd nonnies? I feel like there are obvious reasons why we can't talk about it in depth with professionals but apparently substance use is comorbid with ADHD

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 04:55:24 PM No. 2237470

>>2237433
Oh yeah. Weed keeps me from acting like a fucking retard when exercise isn’t enough. I take long breaks but always come back, though I am thinking of quitting for like 2 years just to see what will happen. I mainly vape/use edibles but I also exercise more than 90% of the population so I think it leaves my body faster.

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 06:47:10 PM No. 2237563

>>2237433
Yeah, I tried a lot of different things back when I was younger. Struggled with abusing alc/weed up until a couple years ago as well. When I'm medicated for ADHD the desire to turn to anything else, even caffeine, is completely curbed, though. It helped a lot. I'm not on ADHD meds anymore but I don't have an issue staying clean in general thanks to them.

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 07:14:22 PM No. 2237595

>>2237433
AuDHD. I was practically permastoned as a teenager and I think it "calmed" me down at the cost of making me paranoid and sluggish. I don't smoke much anymore but it kills the noise in the back of my brain and makes it easier to understand new information at the same price. There's really no winning with these things.

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 07:24:16 PM No. 2237605

holy shit, just got prescribed ritalin.

thought i didn't have adhd (even though i scored high on the test my psych gave me) but i really fucking needed something to actually help me stick to a study routine.
thought it would make me hyper and full of energy, instead it calmed me the fuck down, and now i can actually get shit done. i get zero euphoria from it, i just feel super neutral and calm, head quiet. so now i'm pretty sure i do have adhd, and am super happy i found a drug that actually helps me be a productive person.

ritalin FTW

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 08:02:20 PM No. 2237638

File: 1730664139974.jpeg (75.19 KB, 1290x696, A7124F3B-9E78-43A5-91A1-B8FC9E…)

>>2237605
Picrel is how a lot of people feel when they first get medicated I think

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 08:21:00 PM No. 2237653

>>2237433
Was just coming here to ask if any other nonas struggle with needing substances to do boring tasks. I was diagnosed with autism but my psych was convinced I also had ADHD (never got formally diagnosed), so maybe that's why. I can focus on tasks I'm interested in, or I can do boring tasks as long as I can mentally disengage, but I cannot do boring tasks that require a lot of focus without being high first. Like I physically can't do it, my brain won't focus on the thing, it'll take me 3 days to do something that should've taken 10 minutes. But if I can just smoke or drink first, then I can do it. I'm most productive when I'm high or tispy, and now it's become a crutch. Most people think I'm so on top of my shit, but it's only because I'm a little stoned most of the time. I kind of didn't think I had ADHD and I'm just retarded and lazy, but maybe this is a sign to get evaluated kek

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 10:48:15 PM No. 2237785

>>2237638
kek i literally got addicted to street amphetamine because of adhd med shortages. i was prescribed ritalin/concerta, ran out in a pinch, and my adhd diagnosed friend was like “this is chemically similar and totally works for me!” i remember snorting a line of speed to “catch up on work”, calmly doing some fucking slideshow and falling asleep 2 hours later, and i thought this was proof that i physically couldn’t get addicted to stimulants and my brain chemistry was immune to that because i felt relaxed and slept.

i was coping the whole time i fucked up my life, literally being a tweaker and wasting all this money and going on benders for days to “get more work done” — with the logic i needed medication to feel normal. i am audhd and have always felt miserable and retarded so feeling GOOD for once made me feel like this was what i was always missing, and neurotypicals totally feel like they are high all the time! adhd communities are so fucking resistant to the idea that they are physically dependent on medications but it’s not fucking normal at all to literally be unable to get out of bed without taking a stim, or to lose the ability to do boring tasks sober that you used to be able to do, then decided to make everything “more fun.” the honeymoon phase won’t last and you’ll just be dependent on this thing to not feel exhausted and dead. god forbid there’s a shortage of meds in your area , or the meds just aren’t hitting when you get used to them.

at some point you build tolerance to your dose and you don’t feel anything and you need something stronger to make boringness fun again, and you’re like “muh adhd brain biochemistry protects me from whatever substitute i end up finding, or upping my dose, buying someone else’s script…” but i was absolutely fucking chemically addicted. i killed it at work and school but my whole world became very small btw it’s anecdotally not correct that meme from adhd people online that medication is preventing them from being harder drug addicts. i know five diagnosed adhd people in real life who ended up addicted to either their prescriptions or harder shit and for all of them, the gateway to this was medication and belief it was some new secret to life 1000% foolproof. i drank a lot before getting medicated so maybe i had an addictive personality but i was literally told its not something i have to worry about, take my ritalin as needed until it works for me to do tasks.

i’m trying to stay off stimulants now even though naturally i am a dumb autistic sperg, and i can perform more highly on some things, socialize more effortlessly, remember shit better on amphetamines. but that shit caused me a lot of personal problems, fucked up my sleep and health and life, and really made me feel like i was doing the “normal healthy” thing. “i’m not taking drugs to get high, i need them to function.” i wasn’t functioning- i was an amphetamine addict whose entire life would be put on hold when my prescription or my stash ran out, when i wouldn’t have the energy to talk to anyone or even get out of my bed, when i would just desperately think frantically about how soon i could acquire the meds i “needed.”
i’m not anti medication or saying everyone will abuse their meds but i hate the retarded ass adhd circles cope that tells people who get new prescriptions and feel great cause they’re fucking high for the first time that this is normal, that you need to be chemically chasing that high forever. i still take low doses of stims sometimes when i neee to focus for a couple hours and i don’t feel euphoric or peaceful- i don’t feel anything like a rush, and this is how it should feel. i make myself go to bed on time so ill make myself come down and avoid redosing . is best to keep meds as a performance enhancing tool, not a crutch for your brain to depend on external chemicals.

sorry for long sperg anons - stay healthy, if you’re on adhd meds take supplements, make sure you sleep every night and eat well, and take a fucking break a couple times a week.

Anonymous 11/03/24 (Sun) 10:51:03 PM No. 2237789

>>2237785
samefagging sorry i meant to reply to the substance abuse anon question >>2237433

Anonymous 11/04/24 (Mon) 12:20:52 AM No. 2237876

File: 1730679652086.png (961.66 KB, 828x585, 1499E476-ECC5-41D6-BA89-E4B369…)

>>2237789
It’s okay anon I forgive you. You’re right that just because people with adhd respond differently to stims doesn’t mean we’re immune to addiction. If that was true then we wouldn’t have triple the risk of substance abuse compared to the general population.

I’m medicated but I never experienced the click or high others described. It just means I’m more likely to reply to emails in a timely manner. It does help my anxiety but that’s because it helps my auditory processing problems since I can pay attention to conversations instead of having to guess what people are saying.

Anonymous 11/04/24 (Mon) 01:02:22 AM No. 2237927

I think cats prefer female autists, at least the high functioning, low intensity ones.

Anonymous 11/04/24 (Mon) 01:30:39 AM No. 2237954

>>2237470
I definitely smoke weed to focus sometimes, only it's not a very accurate or consistent type of focus. I'll find myself getting a little too focused on stupid shit sometimes.
>>2237563
Good on you for not slipping back into addiction even after starting and then stopping meds. That's incredible. I feel like I am chained to caffeine, but I'm sure if I had enough time to "detox" I'd be better off.
>>2237595
Yep, exactly that. Weed does something interesting to me, but sometimes it's like a crapshoot and I'll smoke weed that makes me feel extremely paranoid. If I smoke mids I'm fine but my poor lungs need a break. Edibles rock.
>>2237653
I appreciate seeing my opinions mirrored back to me lol I feel that. I almost feel delusional when I think "I'm pretty productive now that I'm goofy off the sauce", and maybe that is still the case. I mean, last night I took kratom and decorated my room before I got too tired. I don't know if it's the drug itself or the thought of taking a drug and getting intoxicated that motivates me. And I also feel like I am retarded and lazy most of the time and was diagnosed in adulthood so maybe you are?
>>2237785
Damn anon I'm sorry you went through all of that shit. I empathize with this post the most. I frequently abuse my medication and then just take supplements until I refill it. I've actually switched meds several times because of this because I don't want to be an addict abusing medication. It still persists. The only prescription that I didn't abuse was Wellbutrin, but it made me so angry at random times and I felt even more impulsive than normal on it. So I went back to Vyvanse. I read that it's "less likely to be abused" in comparison to Adderall but whoever came that decision hasn't met me apparently
But that's good advice. And it's true - although I've cut back on how much I abuse and how often, there is a point where gritting your teeth and wiping your sweaty palms on your shirt for 8 hours is not actually fun anymore. Not sleeping, not eating, you look like shit, and everybody wonders what your problem is. Apparently, constantly losing sleep and going without it over and over again is correlated with dementia. Yippee, I'm so happy I did that during college.
>>2237876
I unfortunately never experienced the high with prescription medications, but the first stimulant I ever took that was some kind of meth-something was Benzedrex. Do not do Benzedrex unless you hate yourself. I still shudder thinking of the lavender burps. My mouth waters in anticipation of vomiting just thinking about it.

Anonymous 11/04/24 (Mon) 02:00:47 AM No. 2237970

>>2237954
Thanks, I'm >>2237563 and it was quite tough… The reason I went off the ADHD meds too (mine were stimulants) was because I do feel like over time those of us prone to addiction become increasingly reliant/addicted to them as well. It's not easy to beat this disease we're unfortunate inclined towards, and I really sympathize with any nonna stuck in a hard place because of it. You can do it.

Anonymous 11/04/24 (Mon) 04:08:51 AM No. 2238055

>>2232455
>You fags have it so easy when it comes to social situations or avoiding bullying
Nonna, you couldn't be more wrong. It's actually insane how wrong you are. I think the people who have it the easiest in the spectrum are the autists who are very charismatic and social. I observe them irl and they pretty much can live their lives just like a normie, even if their speech patterns do give them away. Bare it mind i only got diagnosed as an adult because my parents who knew i was an aspie refused to get me a diagnosis, so i am more retarded than i would be had i had some intervention when i was a child. I can't help but think if my parents weren't so worried about having two sped children in a row that i could have had a shot at being better at impersonating normies. I try to blend in, but unfortunately i really suck at figuring out what strangers require from me when having a conversation, so i do everything in my power to end the interaction. I won't say that it's worse than having adhd tbh, which i also have. Lacking the need for socialisation on the same level as normal people is a decent trade off for having an off putting schizoid personality and being completely unable to have a basic conversation unless it's about something very specific.

Anonymous 11/04/24 (Mon) 04:21:40 AM No. 2238061

>>2238055
>Bare it mind i only got diagnosed as an adult because my parents who knew i was an aspie refused to get me a diagnosis, so i am more retarded than i would be had i (…)
Nona, i entierely relate but i've thought about this before and i'm not sure thinking 'what if..' helps. Maybe the intervention wouldn't have helped, like, why would it change your schizoid disposition. It probably wouldn't have turned you into a social butterfly, more like an overly anxious schizoid

Anonymous 11/04/24 (Mon) 07:27:43 AM No. 2238187

This is a list of autistic traits in women. Tell me how many you have cause I wanna compare to my score. I got like 163/165 out of 173(?)

https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-and-aspergers-a-checklist/

Anonymous 11/04/24 (Mon) 07:29:39 AM No. 2238188

Autistic, highly sensitive and a victim of a narcissist parent with anger issues on daily basis. Yeah, my life is over. There's no reason why such a sensitive, unique person like me should have been treated like this and never allowed to be themselves especially cause such a deep sensitivity is uncommon in humans. I feel like a victim. I got attacked and screamed at my whole life, I deserved better.

Anonymous 11/04/24 (Mon) 08:51:08 AM No. 2238227

>>2238187
96

Anonymous 11/04/24 (Mon) 07:00:30 PM No. 2239035

>but you don't look autistic!
I wish that was me. I get clocked as autistic despite trying to mask heavily and subsequently treated as a pet/special needs. Luckily not every "autism aware" person is like this but the ones that do are insufferable, even if they're trying to help or be nice.

Anonymous 11/05/24 (Tue) 10:13:54 AM No. 2240230

>>2239035
I somehow manage to get both. When I don’t tell people about my diagnosis they can still tell there’s something off about me and treat me like either a threat or a womanchild but if I do tell them, suddenly it’s
>Ooh I couldn’t tell, you don’t seem autistic at all
with a side of
>Are you sure? My neighbour’s sister’s cleaning lady’s nephew is actually autistic and you’re nothing like him!
where it inevitably turns out the nephew is very low functioning and nonverbal. Yeah no shit I’m not like that, I have Asperger’s. It’s not my fault it’s all been lumped together.

The only people who’ve responded with “yeah I could tell” after I told them my diagnosis were other autistic women and a few psychiatrists.

Anonymous 11/05/24 (Tue) 06:24:50 PM No. 2241011

>>2237876
>I’m medicated but I never experienced the click or high others described. It just means I’m more likely to reply to emails in a timely manner.
This but barely even that, I am a bitter bitch that wants to cry every time I hear how medication changed someone's life. I don't understand how people want to take their medication every day either, the stuff I do when I take my medication is boring shit like housework and actual work, all I want to do is never take meds again so I can quit my job and reject society completely

Anonymous 11/05/24 (Tue) 07:15:34 PM No. 2241097

>>2238187
I got 117

Anonymous 11/05/24 (Tue) 09:54:02 PM No. 2241396

>>2238188
I'm sure your life really has been hard, but trust me, you will NEVER get better unless you stop seeing yourself as a victim. And you also seem convinced that you're "unique" and have a "deep sensitivity is uncommon in humans" - I'm sorry to break it to you but that's the same narcissism you pointed out in your parent. You DO deserve better, but if you keep going down the path of seeing yourself as uniquely special and a perpetual victim you will turn out exactly like your parent. If you break free from those 2 things your life can be truly great.

Anonymous 11/05/24 (Tue) 11:31:19 PM No. 2241625

NTs tell me to keep the fuck to myself and not bother them so I do just that which then bothers them. Why.

Anonymous 11/06/24 (Wed) 03:25:42 AM No. 2242389

has anyone ever dealt with being yelled at by people who confuse your flat affect and indifference for rudeness? I experienced this today and i am so filled with anger and i am really upset about the situation because all i want is for people to ignore me and be left alone. I don't go to school to make any friends, but there is this one bitch and her group of friends who wanted to get mad at me for opening another packet of petri dishes because i don't want to wait on them or rely on them for anything and apparently me explaining how it doesn't matter that two petri dishes are open. I am thinking about explaining myself to the professor so he can talk to her because there is not way that she would listen, but i've already humiliated myself pouring out about my mental health issues to him so i don't get kicked off the course. It's such a petty situation and she only acted like this because she hates me for being anti-social and aloof. The irony is that the screecher has a friend who claims to be autistic but she is autistic in a way that is socially acceptable since she is highly social, has motivations in life and has a kid, basically just a glorified NT who can't really control the sound level of her voice sometimes and that's it. I just don't want to deal with anyone, i always spent my life trying to stay away from everyone and i feel so humiliated for feel so hurt by being yelled like this. I just feel like nobody in this world could ever respect me.

Anonymous 11/06/24 (Wed) 11:38:26 AM No. 2244517

>>2242389
>has anyone ever dealt with being yelled at by people who confuse your flat affect and indifference for rudeness?
Despite being the aspie, I've had the opposite happen. I enthusiastically answered with "Mhm!/Aha!" noises and the other person then made an angry face saying "why are you just going UUUHhhh" and makes a loud whiny noise to mimic me. It wasn't even close to what I said so I felt so shocked and angered that they'd accuse me of doing that. I know I didn't sound flat, I now I said it normally… but I think them knowing I'm an aspie they just wanted to assume and point out that I'm an idiot in any way they could.

>I am thinking about explaining myself to the professor
You should do that. You can frame it as earnestly asking if opening more petri dishes was wrong of you, and explain that the other girls gave you a hard time for it. Be open for him to reply "yes, you should have waited for them to be done and not opened another one" and be ready to go on a little "sorry it's the autism, I didn't know…" talk if he does. Hopefully he is on your side though.

Anonymous 11/07/24 (Thu) 11:36:13 AM No. 2248081

>>2242389
Yes, and it was by a healthcare professional of all people. The second thing this woman asked after I walked in there was "Are you suicidal? How would you plan to do it?" so obviously I didn't feel good about that. When I kept answering I don't know to questions she thought I was purposefully keeping things from her. Then she eventually outburst at me telling me to show her respect when I wasn't even intending to be disrespectful.

Anonymous 11/07/24 (Thu) 09:23:32 PM No. 2249203

File: 1731014612306.jpg (10.66 KB, 252x200, 9787788787.jpg)

god I LOVE just sitting and reading or absorbing media about something that is interesting to me. There's literally nothing better than that, ok maybe walking around the room and making up fake scenarios while listening to music may rival this pleasure. And maybe physical contact with cats, sometimes. But nothing else, no contact with another human being or activity will ever be as pleasurable as this (my current obsessions are Shergar, Lawrence of Arabia, Titanic, Hindenburg, The early bird theory, Galaxy express 999 and Menendez brothers [yeah the last one is influenced by social media, but I'm interested in it because I have strong justice sensitivity]). This is one of the rare things that make me feel truly happy. I'm gonna make notes on my copy of Seven pillars of wisdom and cry about a horse for the next few months. I consider myself very lucky to have that one person who actually wants to listen to my ramblings irl!

Anonymous 11/07/24 (Thu) 09:37:57 PM No. 2249223

>>2249203
Wait before you go can you tell us about the horse, I’m interested.

Anonymous 11/07/24 (Thu) 10:17:53 PM No. 2249271

File: 1731017873501.png (121.12 KB, 298x297, shergar.png)

>>2249223
Shergar was an irish racing horse, one of the best actually, he won Epsom Derby in 1981 and was described as "horse of the year". In 1983 he was kidnapped from his home by a bunch of masked people (speculated to be IRA members) and the kidnappers asked for 2 million pounds. But the owned didn't pay… There were some negotiations here and there, the kidnappers also sent a strange photo of Shergar's face (picrel), but many people assume he was already dead at the time of taking the photo (or it was taken shortly before he was killed because he looked very distressed in it). IRA informer claimed the horse has been killed.

TW for that part because it's terrible, and I prefer to just copy paste it from wikipedia
In 2008 a special investigation by The Sunday Telegraph obtained information from another IRA member who said that O'Callaghan had not been told the full story "because the gang was so embarrassed by what happened": a vet that the IRA had arranged to look after Shergar did not turn up because his wife threatened to leave him if he did.[52] Once the IRA realised that the Aga Khan was not going to pay, the Army Council ordered the horse to be released. The extensive search by the Gardaí hampered any release, and Mallon thought he was under close surveillance, and that releasing the horse was too risky, so, four days after the kidnapping, he ordered that it should be killed. The IRA source told the newspaper that two men went into the stable where Shergar was being held; one carried a machine gun: Shergar was machine gunned to death. There was blood everywhere and the horse even slipped on his own blood. There was lots of cussin' and swearin' because the horse wouldn't die. It was a very bloody death

I wanted to die when I read it for the first time, it hurts so bad. I hate males so much. We still don't know what they did with the body after they murdered him.

Anonymous 11/07/24 (Thu) 11:54:25 PM No. 2249458

>>2238187
>Be ADHD but always curious about possibility of ASD
>Get frustrated at start of list because I would never be so overly confident to call myself a deep thinker or highly intelligent, because even though I would rate higher compared to some people I would also rate myself lower compared to other people
>Realise I can't be autistic because of this thought pattern
>Realise by overthinking it I'm actually being autistic
Dammit now I can't tell what's autistic and what isn't. I guess the way I couldn't make it past the first section of bullet points without writing this post is very ADHD

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 12:31:31 AM No. 2249520

>>2249271
men are the enemy of love and beauty.

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 12:34:30 AM No. 2249528

>>2249271
This is so sad, poor Shergar. Very inhumane.

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 12:40:43 AM No. 2249541

>>2249271
That’s awful. The picture makes it so much more sad, that poor horse didn’t deserve that. Thank you for sharing your recent hyperfixation nona.

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 12:41:54 AM No. 2249545

>>2249271
and putting aside the fact it was a disgusting murder, if they wanted to kill him so bad, I don't understand why couldn't they just put a bullet in his head, right between his eyes? It's really not that hard to kill a horse in a quick way. I just can't phantom it, and the picture I have in my brain when I think about it will haunt me, he had to be in so much pain

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 12:43:47 AM No. 2249548

>>2249458
Maybe this is gonna sound mean but you don't have autism because of traits x y and z. You have autism when you are diagnosed as autistic by a licensed and experienced healthcare provider. This isn't directed at you specifically, but it's so frustrating seeing people say they're autistic or whatever just because they watch a few tiktoks or read a WebMD page. You don't know that you're autistic until you get diagnosed. Like what is so autistic about thinking about things? What is so ADHD about writing in bullet points? That's not how mental disorders or developmental disorders work. So tired of everything being considered a "sign" or a "symptom" of some underlying medical issue.

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 12:44:01 AM No. 2249550

>>2249545
The part about him slipping and then being alive afterwards for who knows how long is heartbreaking. He must have been absolutely terrified, he looked scared enough in the photo.

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 01:32:49 AM No. 2249633

>>2249458
rumination is extremely common in adhd nonna, if youre curious about autism just go get evaluated

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 03:37:36 AM No. 2249828

Did anyone think they were narcissistic or were accused of being narcissistic by neurotypicals? A lot of my masking when I was a teen resulted in a clash between my real self and this fake persona that took a lot of energy to maintain and I got accused of being a "fake" narc type. Other things involved struggling with understanding others in one way or another, and blaming myself with the thought process of "I must be being rude, I must be a narc"

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 06:11:41 AM No. 2250126

I hate having hyperfixations so intense that I can’t focus on anything else but at the same time I’m at my happiest when I’m obsessed with something

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 08:33:43 AM No. 2250251

>>2249828
Yes, usually by actual narcissists funnily enough. They get so annoyed that they can’t read me and tell me that I look super ‘cold’ and violent, and it makes me laugh considering it’s all projection

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 08:42:15 AM No. 2250257

>>2249203
I honestly think this is true for most people. Movies, music and books are nearly everyone's "hobby" so to speak. I'm sure the average autist is even more intense about it, but it's a very human thing to be absorbed into learning something that interests them. It's cute.

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 08:56:46 AM No. 2250263

>>2249548
I'm seconding this, and also want to reinstate it's not against the other anon. But then again "autism" at this point is a label used for multiple intellectual and/or developmental disabilities anyway so the name has little value other than to grant you legal access to whatever support you may need that is offered. In a sense being an autist now literally means having a diagnosis of autism regardless of how your brain works.

I used to hate things like horoscopes because they're stupid an unscientific. But oh how foolish I was - normies NEED things like horoscopes to label themselves with, and if they aren't offered a nonsensical version like horoscopes they will simply grab at oppression or mental disorders to fit the void. "I'm such a libra rising, born in the year of the rabbit" is a lot more tolerable than "I have auDHD, now reform the entire medical system for me please". I feel like I understand why religion was created now lmao it really is to control stupid people who have nothing else.

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 09:21:54 AM No. 2250273

>>2249548
Ayrt and yes you're so right, I was just being silly and trying to make a joke about my lack of focus
I also hate how these very complicated conditions are boiled down to clichés, even if I enjoy doing it like a hypocrite
>>2249633
I don't think I can afford an assessment but I'm sure I'll just start fixating on something new soon anyway so it doesn't matter kek

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 12:51:29 PM No. 2250372

>>2250257
I wish it was seen as normal. But it's not seen as normal to always prefer spending time on your hobbies over spending time with family or forming relationships with other people, be it platonic or romantic, and then be in distress when you have to be among people, because of school or work for example, and not being able to focus on your interests because you are forced to do other things. Everybody has hobbies and interests, but they don't play dominant role in most people's lives

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 02:20:40 PM No. 2250422

>>2250372
People are always saying that you should never turn your hobby into a career, but the happiest autistic people I know are those who did just that.

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 02:51:14 PM No. 2250462

>>2249271
I know this is off topic and i probably shouldn't have unspoilered the hidden text, but it makes me so sad when children, woman or animals get caught in the cross hairs of bullshit like that. I recently read during ww1 (lesser extent in ww2 to my understanding) when anti-german sentiment was high, people were killing dachshunds as they were seen as a symbol of germany.

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 03:31:45 PM No. 2250507

>>2250422
Extremely true t. autist who turned her obsession into a career. I still can't believe people are paying me money to research the stuff I love.

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 09:45:32 PM No. 2251198

>>2250462
what the hell

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 10:04:27 PM No. 2251238

File: 1731103466557.webp (948.43 KB, 2011x2514, 9ffb00255d4b2e079b0b23.0136006…)

>>2250462
A few years ago I saw a semi-famous american jewish man online say that he hates german shepherds because he associates them with ww2 and that he thinks most jewish men feel the same. It's one of my favorite dog breeds so it made me sad to read it

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 10:38:48 PM No. 2251291

I get sleepy on prednisone. Does this happen to anyone else with 80HD?

Anonymous 11/08/24 (Fri) 11:59:43 PM No. 2251524

>>2251238
They started calling them Alsatians in the UK during WW1 to avoid the German association. Still do.

Anonymous 11/09/24 (Sat) 04:11:53 AM No. 2251877

I don't think I'm actually socially capable of the job I'm being educated for but I'm not smart enough for anything else besides minimum wage and my mom pushed me into signing up for college. She thinks I'm going to be able to work to pay off my student loan.

Anonymous 11/09/24 (Sat) 06:35:14 AM No. 2252011

The only time I ever experience extreme emotions is when I’m engaging with something that I’m hyperfixated on. Nothing else in my life makes me that happy.

Anonymous 11/09/24 (Sat) 07:32:58 AM No. 2252068

Was anyone here raised by a bippe? I feel like that results in a very special kind of autism

Anonymous 11/09/24 (Sat) 11:09:07 AM No. 2252155

>>2252068
I think BPD/cluster b fleas in kids with autism are exacerbated by the autism. Or maybe it's just autism and psychs misdiagnose autism in women as BPD, idk

Anonymous 11/09/24 (Sat) 02:37:38 PM No. 2252279

>>2252068
I think my mother was bpd, she was abusive too. But then again, everyone in my family is so fucking weird, either cold and distant or narcissistic, and my grandma (my mom's mom) was also very emotionally "weird" and distant and for example she would always rock back and forth when sitting (that's not an age thing because she did it even when she was young) and totally "shut off" when her favourite tv show was on tv, and totally flip out if you had a different opinion on something than her. Hmmmm

Anonymous 11/09/24 (Sat) 04:06:17 PM No. 2252388

ADHD nonas with difficulty starting things, but who do fine once you're actually doing it and who do much better when a so called body double present… please evaluate my little theory!

So, I think we're essentially pack animals with strong(er than average) pack instincts. Doing the thing alone and on our own accord is difficult, however following the pack doing it: suddenly easy, comfortable and it feels natural. I'm doing the exact same things, but the presence of a friend being in the room suddenly makes the things 100 times easier. I'm told I have some kind of executive dysfunction disorder because I'm so bad at starting things in time, but all it took was for another trusted person to be there? I ain't disordered, I just lack my natural pack to support and comfort me! I feel like I'm onto something here.

Anonymous 11/09/24 (Sat) 04:21:43 PM No. 2252419

>>2252068
I'm interested to hear more about the kind of raised-by-a-borderline-parent autism you're talking about. Do you mean that cluster B parents cause autism? Or just that the two disorders interact in a strange way? I think personality disorders and autism are like oil and water. My mom was a bippie and I feel like my (diagnosed) autism somehow deflected some of her behaviors. Like a lot of her manipulation just kind of flew over my head because I was too busy weaving baskets and retreating into myself. My autism was the source of a lot of her chimpouts but I didn't even realize it at the time. I don't want to get into details but my mother has done a lot of batshit insane things that would land her in prison and my therapist once asked me "How are you so normal?" and my genuine answer was that me being in my own little autism world saved me from fully internalizing her psycho worldview and behavior patterns. I'm still traumatized and retarded but at least I don't act like a BPD mess myself and I'm not tangled in her web of insanity and manipulation like most victims of cluster B parents tend to be kek.

Anonymous 11/09/24 (Sat) 04:50:06 PM No. 2252451

>>2252068
not quite (mother is cluster b but i can't say bippie for sure), had insane fleas but i genuinely don't think it made my autism special in any way.
i believe autism helped me to not get attached to her though, somewhat like >>2252419 - i was easily able to completely cut her off and "wash off" the fleas.

Anonymous 11/09/24 (Sat) 04:55:06 PM No. 2252455

>>2252068
Something that is hard for autists to address is, even the name of autism. The root means "self" and a lot of autists struggle to empathize outside of themselves. Narcissism is oversaturated now with tiktokers being obsessed with it, but a lot of those traits overlap with autists.

Anonymous 11/13/24 (Wed) 10:50:37 PM No. 2259472

I work a well paying IT job but I found as a low level employee in a supermarket far more satisfying for my ADHD.

Anonymous 11/14/24 (Thu) 07:47:10 AM No. 2260187

File: 1731570430385.jpg (140.4 KB, 1179x1072, 1000015904.jpg)

Does anyone else regret trying to understand neurotypicals, or more accurately understand how they see autistics?
I accidentally created this hell for myself where I am acutely aware that I am not aware. I used to feel bad about it, because yeah, I technically am the problem - but the constant resentment from everyone who can't tell I'm retarded and don't mean harm has made me bitter. How could it not? I'm a human being with a limit. It's very hard to remain cordial when every interaction you have with someone is going to be misinterpreted, whether your passiveness is mistaken for being stuck up or your flat tone is seen as emotionally disengaged. As nasty as it sounds, I'm starting to really become apathetic and callous.

Anonymous 11/14/24 (Thu) 07:57:17 AM No. 2260193

>>2260187
Neurotypical here, just wanted to let you know you're fine. 90% of people are trash no matter what side you're on, only a few don't suck.

Anonymous 11/14/24 (Thu) 08:16:04 AM No. 2260206

>>2252068
Yes. I'm still trying to make sense of what it did. As a kid i was terrified of setting her rage off when i already had trouble perceiving people's intentions. BPD people are nightmarish if you already feel like humans' presence demands a lot from you. It made me bitter and defensively offensive and i'm trying to get past that.
>>2252455
I feel like autistic self-centeredness is not entirely narcisisstic. It comes from an inability to face others and connect without strategies, falling back on self-centering is one of those, next to things like using impersonal language or social scripts. Narcissism actually designates people who hate themselves and compensate with public displays of love, the meaning has been watered down to nothingness but this is what it is

Anonymous 11/14/24 (Thu) 08:25:33 AM No. 2260211

>>2260187
Yes. You can't really un-know once you learn it, but you don't have to let it get to you. Once I realized that nothing I do is ever going to be "right" for the average person, I stopped giving a damn. Full retard hours ahoy because people can tell something's off even (and especially when) I've masked perfectly so I might as well not waste the effort. Ironically, neurotypicals like me better as a happy free genuine sped than as a miserable overstimulated fake "normie". Society claims that autistics need to be indistinguishable to fit in, but it's demonstrably not true; all the popular sperges I know are obvious that they're a little bit weird without blaming their autism or apologizing for harmless behaviors.

Anonymous 11/14/24 (Thu) 01:46:48 PM No. 2260404

>>2260206
>I feel like autistic self-centeredness is not entirely narcisisstic.
Imo they're different things. There are SO many ways in which a person can focus on themselves.
Narcisissm involves arrogance, self-love, an obsession with being admired and a contempt for others. It's (imho) something that involves a certain level of social awareness and the person putting themselves in the center/top while looking down on others.
You can also be self-obsessed due to poor confidence. You're obsessed with what other might think of you, perhaps even to the point you have a body dysmorphic disorder. That's the opposite of self-love.
Similarly you can just be depressed, and that makes you "selfish" and makes it difficult to empathize with others. This is really just a natural survival instinct, if you think you're "dying" your body needs you to focus on yourself to survive.
Then there is autism(/possibly other disorders) self-centeredness. This comes from an inability to read others, AND often a difficulty to read yourself and your own needs too.

So a narcissist may see a person struggle and go "I see they're suffering but I don't care, they're beneath me anyway lol".
The autist would see a person and go "I wonder why that person is making a strange face, oh well I'm sure they're fine so I can go back to my own interests", and just not read the situation properly. If they were instead told "hey I'm suffering right now" the autist may go "Oh no! I had no idea!" and be compassionate from there. And then from there the autist might think "well MY special interest is the thing that makes me happy, so if I give this suffering person this thing too they'll be happy too" even though in reality that's not even close to what the person needs. It IS a self-centered thought, but at the core there really was compassion and an attempt to help.

Anonymous 11/14/24 (Thu) 01:49:53 PM No. 2260405

>>2260211
>neurotypicals like me better as a happy free genuine sped than as a miserable overstimulated fake "normie".
>all the popular sperges I know are obvious that they're a little bit weird without blaming their autism or apologizing for harmless behaviors.
Amen, just be a weirdo! It's fine!
On some level just submit to being the token weird girl of the group, you're the quirky one, that's your role now. So anytime you do something odd that was meant to happen anyway and isn't anything to stress over!

Anonymous 11/14/24 (Thu) 05:47:32 PM No. 2260647

>>2260206
>>2260404
Agreed. Real narcs are more than often socially aware and adept, good at reading others etc, that's how they can manipulate properly, even if they ignore social norms over their own grandeur.

Anonymous 11/14/24 (Thu) 06:18:33 PM No. 2260698

I am thinking of going to the doctors for autism diagnosis, I may be a high masking autist woman which can go undetected when you’re a child. What do you think nonnies? Here’s some traits my husband pointed out:

>loner weirdo loser girl all throughout school, preferred playing by herself during play time and recess and kids were only friends with me out of pity
>gets obsessed easily (fandoms, video games, characters — I remember I would prefer to play the sims 2 instead of hanging out with the neighbourhood kids and they stopped asking to play with me eventually because they were upset about getting rejected and I wasn’t saddened by it at all). I played so much sims 2 I know everything about the game and consumed all the lore, corruption, glitches, character backstories etc. I was also obsessed with Princess Zelda and wanted to BE her, specifically the zelda from twilight princess. Creepy, but I’d watch her idle animations in smash bro’s and try to copy them when waiting in line or some thing lel, even her walk/run (yikes)
>awkward, no social awareness, oftentimes says the wrong thing at the wrong time
>copycat others in social situations and adopt their idioms and sayings to try and blend in (I’ve successfully managed to perfect the greeting small talk conversation after observing/learning from others)
>in the beginning of the small talk exchange, I’d actually literally tell people if I was having a shit day lol instead of “I’m fine how r u” and stuff like that
>takes things too literally and often doesn’t detect sarcasm
>stimming: I used to rub my fingers through my hair and soothe my scalp as a teen (I don’t do this anymore), cross my legs and kick the one on top repeatedly, my husband says my constant need for foot rubs/massages is rather stim-like (of course i’d never rub my feet in public kek). When I had really hard time in crowded rooms, I’d rock back and forth a bit to calm my nerves
>I always complain about how bright it is, I have a very good sense of smell and can smell things others can’t (I.e., when walking down an apartment hall I can detect what people are cooking/baking and scented candles), I get dizzy in perfume and bath body works stores, I got headaches constantly from the fluorescent light in my office in combination with the blue light from my computer screen, I get nervous and jumpy at loud noises and agitated in very crowded spaces with lots of chatter
>autistic women have more socially accepted obsessions and one that I’ve always had was “true love” and “finding the one” and having a happily ever after relationship. Also if you’re into kpop and are stan, that’s another example of having a socially acceptable autistic obsession
>over analyze and look into social situations and people’s motives too much when there’s simply nothing there 90% of the time (can’t read social cues but in an effort to do so, I’ve read TOO much into them)
>probably a shitpost but I remember someone once said autists like to have 3 beverages in the morning like a coffee, water, juice and I do that a lot too, and normies prefer having one-two drinks in the morning (water and a hot beverage)

Idk if I’m just neurotic and socially awkward or if I’m genuinely autistic, but my husband (who knows me best) thinks I might be a high functioning autist who went undetected. I didn’t believe his theory until he told me the socially acceptable autistic obsessions women have (horses being another btw but I’m not into horses) and how im complaining about how bright everything is, getting headaches, and being able to smell things he can’t.

Anonymous 11/14/24 (Thu) 06:56:50 PM No. 2260736

>>2260698
This isn't towards you specifically nonnie, but as someone who also is more than likely autistic the reason I'll never get tested is because what is that going to change? I'm independent, live on my own, can drive, can take care of myself, hold down a job. What will change about your life if you find out you're "diagnosed autistic"? Ok it'll explain your lifelong behaviors but genuinely who cares if you're high functioning? Save your money and time and call yourself autistic without the diagnosis if you want! Just don't be a sperg about it on social media for asspats and you're fine

Anonymous 11/14/24 (Thu) 07:29:20 PM No. 2260786

>>2260698
Going to point out what is NOT a sign of autism, as I find that can be more helpful when you're "diagnosis-shopping" (not an insult). Especially because social media these days is like "do you wear socks??? Autism confirmed!!!"
>gets obsessed easily (fandoms, video games, characters
That's an ADHD trait more than autism. Autism tends to be long time special interests, while ADHD is shorter periods of intense interest than they then move on from.
>awkward, no social awareness, oftentimes says the wrong thing at the wrong time
Like what? This is such a general statement that could mean anything. How do you know it's awkward or that you lack social awareness? You need a lot of awareness to figure that out in the first place! Autists I know don't really feel awkward, it's other people around them who do because the autist is socially unaware of the awkwardness their actions are causing.
>copycat others in social situations and adopt their idioms and sayings to try and blend in
But you did manage to blend in and say you even "perfected" small talk, which is how regular non-disordered people learn it too! Many autists even itt are expressing they still to this day as adults don't know how to small talk or blend in at all despite trying their entire lives.
>I’d actually literally tell people if I was having a shit day lol instead of “I’m fine how r u” and stuff like that
Culturally this is normal in my country lol I don't understand what is supposedly so weird about it
>I used to rub my fingers through my hair and soothe my scalp as a teen (I don’t do this anymore), cross my legs and kick the one on top repeatedly
Those are extremely normal actions nona. Like I desperately need you to understand now not-disordered this actually is. The fact that you even list them as potential autistic stimming is worrying.
>autistic women have more socially accepted obsessions
This is generally just a stereotype, especially when you take function levels into account. You're equally likely to find a high functioning male autist with the special interest ACDC or some football team, as you are to finding a female low function autist whose special interest is something odd like computer keyboards or kitchen towels.
>one that I’ve always had was “true love” and “finding the one” and having a happily ever after relationship.
Nona please. This is THE most normal thing to ever exist. I'm genuinely so sorry social media made you think this is weird in any way.
>over analyze and look into social situations and people’s motives too much when there’s simply nothing there 90% of the time
Sounds like anxiety. The fact that you're able to analyze so much means you have a good social understanding!
>probably a shitpost
100% a shitpost. The fact that you're even posting it makes me feel you are looking for any and all reasons to confirm your current idea that you truly must be autistic. Ask yourself honestly: do you WANT to be autistic, nona? What exactly do you think you'd get from getting a diagnosis on paper?
>and being able to smell things he can’t.
A male has worse perception than you and immediately decides you must have a disorder huh.

Anonymous 11/14/24 (Thu) 10:03:58 PM No. 2261067

>>2249271
i’ve given this some thought and fortunately i have decided he is alive. they never found him. they lied so people wouldn’t look as hard for him. no way he’s dead that would be too stupid. i love you alive horse.

Anonymous 11/14/24 (Thu) 11:16:25 PM No. 2261149

I wish autistic female groups online would stop caping for moids. Every one of them is full of rules saying you need to be kind to everyone especially men who might be confused, respect everyone's gender etc like fuck no. The only place that's mildly reminiscent of here is r/autisminwomen where they often vent about their experiences with autistic moids but even then it's teeming with troons.

Anonymous 11/15/24 (Fri) 09:00:19 AM No. 2261580

When you consider the fact a lot of internet culture, which is now mainstream, has been pioneered by autists do you feel pride or shame? Indifferent even?
For example, I don't think fandom culture would have become as prominent if it weren't for hyperfixated aspies setting the stage.

Anonymous 11/15/24 (Fri) 01:32:47 PM No. 2261763

File: 1731677567498.jpg (520.33 KB, 1600x1200, 9hxc138by5001.jpg)

>>2261149
>I wish autistic female groups online would stop caping for moids
I wish all groups would do that, it's not an autist specific problem. I get so hopeful when I join a community and the rules only say something general like "no bigotry" or "no hate" rather than listing "transphobia".
>>2261580
>When you consider the fact a lot of internet culture, which is now mainstream, has been pioneered by autists do you feel pride or shame? Indifferent even?
They're just people, so I guess I mostly feel indifferent! But I think that's also true for a lot of areas in society, humanity is often only pushed forward by having one single genius person make some huge discovery. Those people were likely often aspies as well.

Going on a tangent here, and I know some people will call it a cope, because most autists are over-sensitive dumb-dumbs who can't hold a normal job - but that again opens up the autism VS asperger (or "high-functioning" if you prefer that term) debate. I really think there is a difference between the two conditions, perhaps they even really do stem from the exact same medical issue but they're still SO different. I once heard it explained as sunlight and that really resonated with me: You have a cloud free sky with a bright sun shining - that's a normie. Then you have the (low functioning) autist as an overcast day with nothing but clouds in sight, no sunlight making it though. But in the same way if you have a sunny day and a blinding sun, just a cluster of autism-clouds (making them aspie/high functioning) blocking the sun you get the perfect amount of shade. It's now actually easier to go about because you're not drenched in sweat from the heat nor blinded by the sunlight like the normies are. Yet the clouds at the core are the same. Tangent over kek

Anonymous 11/15/24 (Fri) 01:34:44 PM No. 2261765

>>2261763
samefagging, picrel was just to demonstrate aspie obsessive influence on social media to agree with the previous post. Normies don't do that shit unless trying to be influencers on social media kek

Anonymous 11/15/24 (Fri) 03:59:46 PM No. 2261864

>>2260698
>high masking autist woman which can go undetected
Masking women still display autistic traits in infancy. Anyone who claims to have been completely undetectable as a kid is either lying or misunderstands masking. Ask your mother/relatives about how you came across as a child. If you displayed autistic traits there's a good chance she'll say you were a little 'odd', even if she didn't recognize this as autism. Serious autism assessments interview your family/friends/etc so, you can think of it as a pre-diagnosis to make sure it's worthwhile
Edit: i read your post to the end and your husband is trolling or you're extremely neurotic and want an excuse for your perceived shortcomings (not a jab, i understand why women might want a diagnosis to escape internal scrutiny). I'm afraid your husband doesn't understand autism and said this to explain away your anxiety, even if he's well-meaning, telling an obviously anxious person that they may have a developmental issue is wrong and weird.
>>2260404
Exactly.

Anonymous 11/15/24 (Fri) 07:38:11 PM No. 2262069

>>2261864
>telling an obviously anxious person that they may have a developmental issue is wrong and weird.
This is true on so many levels. I think it's a social contagion too, so it's not necessarily ill intent from the person, but rather it's that they've seen and been hanging out with so many people who (wrongly) use it as an excuse when in reality they're self-diagnosed fakers 9 out of 10 times. So a neutral person may see anxious quirky girls time and time again blame it on their "autism" until you think that's the truth. Then they make friends with an anxious person and think it must be autism.

A tip and exercise for >>2260698 is to read up on symptoms for multiple common (on the internet) disorders. Depression, BPD, anxiety, ADHD/ADD, OCD, maybe even DID since that's popular now. Then do exactly what you did with autism here: list every reason you think you may have it. Ignore anything you think points against it, pretend you have to convince someone you have this disorder even if you think you don't - but you can only use truths. See how well you can twist every point into fitting you somehow.
Like for example, for OCD you may remember that you've always felt a strong disgust towards germs, while your normie boyfriend will go "3-second rule!" and gobble up scraps of food directly from the floor to your horror. For ADHD you may remember as a child you always got lost daydreaming way more than other kids, and you still somehow misplace your phone on the regular.
You should be able to check of nearly every point (with some missing due to your own personality traits) without too much effort, and as you go along it becomes easier and easier.
This exercise lets you see just how easy it is even for you to convince yourself that you have almost any disorder based on common symptoms, some might even fit better than autism! And then realize that most people you see online did exactly this. Reflect over what the difference is between these disorders and symptoms you think you don't have, and the autism you think you could have. Were you being truly honest, or did you think a few mishaps was enough to warrant saying "well I do ABC, and that is a symptom".

Anonymous 11/16/24 (Sat) 06:54:43 AM No. 2262734

I wonder if I would've been killed for being a changeling if I was born in medieval times. According to my parents I rarely smiled and constantly asked questions I shouldn't have been asking (still don't know what that means).

Anonymous 11/17/24 (Sun) 05:26:23 PM No. 2264636

File: 1731864383883.jpg (8.36 KB, 348x348, 1000085370.jpg)

How do you unstuck yourself? I get stuck while working when I'm not sure of what to do and I keep thinking and thinking for minutes or hours that I waste trying to figure out what to do or with a blank mind staring at some random point and it's really fucking up with this particularly stressful job, I would be so fucked if I was a medic kek.
But seriously I don't know what to do anymore, I've wasted lots of time, I hate asking for help because I'm too retardeas well, I want to die.

Anonymous 11/17/24 (Sun) 10:27:11 PM No. 2264933

>>2262734
>asked questions I shouldn't have been asking (still don't know what that means).
About every parent says this about their own child, they either see it as annoying to be asked "weird" questions and (wrongfully) see the kid as dumb for asking anything at all, or they think their child is a genius with knowledge far above other kids because they have the smartest kid who thinks about all these deep things. Kids asking "weird" questions is the most normal part of development to ever exist.

Anonymous 11/17/24 (Sun) 11:24:34 PM No. 2264990

I'm 30 and my psychologist thinks I'm autistic and that I also have some ADHD traits and that I should try to get an official diagnosis. I'm too afraid to do it because I'm afraid that I will hear again "we don't know what is wrong with you, there is definitely something, but it's hard to tell what exactly". I've been in an out of the "system" between 12 and 20 years old, and I've heard many "diagnoses", they were moving me from one specialist to another and no one could tell what it was, I was on various meds, SSRIs and antipsychotics, and nothing helped. I was told it's just general anxiety and depression, then a woman who met me for the first time said I had reactive attachment disorder, then another man who also saw me only once said that it's not reactive attachment disorder but schizotypal perosnality disorder, then another psychiatrist who was seeing me from time to time said I was too young to say for sure what "it" was and they had to wait till I was 18, then at 18 I had this super long quiz-like test that was very stressful for me because it's hard for me to give definitive answers and it's usually "it depends" and I need more specifics in order to be able to answer a question, and many of those questions in that tests were too broad for me. And after that test the psychiatrist said she's still unable to say what it is, and that my answers were too contradictory and that I probably "didn't want to cooperate" (despite the fact I was desperate for them to finally tell me what is wrong with me and to help me). After that I was done with the system. My social life is still non existent and I struggle with basic things, like doing formalities and not getting fired. I still feel the need to know what is wrong with me, but after so many years of disappointments I'm too scared to try to get diagnosed again. I don't know what to do

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 02:00:03 AM No. 2265175

one of the boys from highschool that would call me a freak and bully me got hired at my company. I didn't know it was him at first because he transitioned and changed his name to Erica. Realized this and had a melty at work after realizing why the last name was so familiar. Remembering all the awful things he did to me because I was just a bit weird and autistic and how teachers did nothing makes me realize that my managers will also do nothing in the future. I hope he quits soon because there's no way my libshit managers will fire a tranny.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 04:18:38 AM No. 2265366

Did you have poor motor coordination or body-eye coordination as a child? I remember being the only one in my entire class during PE in kindergarten who couldn't skip rope and then in older grades I could never balance a ball on a tennis racquet because the eye and hand coordination was too difficult for me. Teachers constantly expressed concern about it. I eventually picked it up when older but being behind at that might have been a warning sign.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 04:25:32 AM No. 2265377

>>2264636
when i feel myself getting sluggish i try to record what i'm doing or have accomplished, and then see what i'm doing right now and inefficiently. if i'm physically tired i will try to stand up. if i'm having trouble, i try to write down what i'm having issues with and what my questions are. then estimate 1) if i can answer on my own, 2) how long does it take to answer myself if yes 3) is it worth asking someone else or not important enough? is your work environment not welcoming or do you not have someone to ask questions?

if this is a regular issue, keeping track of what you do and how long at work maybe be beneficial. like log the main tasks you do every half hour or hour on a spreadsheet.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 07:11:08 AM No. 2265484

>>2265377
Nayrt but thank you so much for this.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 07:51:22 AM No. 2265498

>>2264990
Get the autism test nonnie. In the worst case scenario, it will tell you nothing. In the best case, it can finally be an answer. You have nothing to lose.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 10:24:17 AM No. 2265586

>>2265498
>In the worst case scenario, it will tell you nothing.
Serious question, has anyone ever met or heard anyone FAIL a test for autism/ADHD?

I'm always baffled when yet another fully functioning human I've known for years "comes out" with their recent adult diagnosis. They always say something like "this explains so much" and I'm left sitting there thinking "nah bitch it really doesn't" because they have had their entire life under full control this whole time, and go on living in the exact same way afterwards too. It's so clear they got it from social media telling them feeling socially awkward once in a while means it's autism, or not having 100% focus at all times means ADHD.

Yet there seems to be this idea that a normal person would always fail the tests, how do we know that is true? It almost feels like they have an incentive to diagnose as many people as possible, or at the very least that they assume if you've made it to the point of taking the test that you simply must be whatever the test is for. Oh how I wish I could send in all my normie friends and family undercover to get tested to see what the results are.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 10:29:20 AM No. 2265591

>>2265377
nta but this is super interesting, would you mind explaining more? Would this work at home or is it just a work strategy? I'm mostly sluggish at home, I waste all day not knowing what to do… I used to tell myself I'm just tired but I know that's not true. I'm not relaxing either, I'm stressed out because I don't know what to do! And if you don't mind could you make up an example of how you would write it all?

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 10:56:41 AM No. 2265609

>>2265586
In my experience, the autism fakers I meet don’t get actually tested and are lying about their discovery. They got “diagnosed” with it by talking to the drove of other braindead imitators who treat this as the new astrology.
Some of the actual autists I know are reasonably functional and put together and are just completely fucked under the surface and not really keeping it together. I actually feel like it’s the masses of quirky fuckups with complexes about what unique, different underdog underachievers with a million excuses they are, AKA people with BPD and other flavors of oblivious where they cobble together a new identity every month based on what will give them dopamine/attention/whatever. And most of those people avoid testing like the plague with a bunch of excuses for why they don’t fit the “outdated!” criteria because they suspect they’ll be told they’re allistic.
The numbers of these people lately have actually been driving me fucking insane. Autism medical jargon is a huge trend on social media and it’s bled into the vocabulary of everyone who uses Instagram reels too much. “Like, oh my god, yeah, I like totally have the tism and I stim by dancing and singing in my apartment! I like, literally found out that it’s a tism thing if you listen to the same song a bunch, which I TOTALLY do! I’m so peer reviewed, I’m super in my autism acceptance era, did you know if you were a loud kid that’s probably autism?”

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 01:44:23 PM No. 2265728

>>2265175
I'm sorry nonnie, this is nightmarish.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 05:33:29 PM No. 2265945

Anyone else feel hopeless because you know no amount of therapy could stop you from people around you sniffing out the tism and hating you on sight? I mean unless I become super high masking but if I had a lot of friends but none of them knew who I really was, would that even make me feel better? Most therapists will just tell you "oh it's irrational to think everyone hates you" is it though? Like how many of us in here worry everyday that you're gonna find out someone you know hates you because they couldn't be mature enough to discuss a communication blunder you made that you had no idea about? For example when I ask questions people assume it means I'm upset or if I make an observation that is neutral it has to be charged in some way i.e. I say something like "the grass was mowed" people assume I'm upset about it or something crazy. Sorry if this is blogposty just wondering if anyone can relate or has come to terms with this because it's honestly ruining my life.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 05:36:00 PM No. 2265947

>>2265175
He's not a boy anymore and he can't bully you at work without severe repercussions

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 05:43:29 PM No. 2265952

>>2265591
it should work for both, i do it at work now with my new job where time management is key because everyone works independently and getting help will distract other people/cut into their time. i used to track my free time too when i was more mentally ill and using the internet to dissociate. the more lost and sluggish i feel the more tracking i benefit from. breaking up large tasks into small steps makes it clearly what you need to do and can help motivate me to work more focused. simply knowing where you are and what you're doing can be half the battle sometimes in building selff-awareness.

>I waste all day not knowing what to do… I used to tell myself I'm just tired but I know that's not true. I'm not relaxing either, I'm stressed out because I don't know what to do!
it sounds like the first step you need to do is get in tune with your behavior, first track what and how long you spend on things, and next how they make you feel. scientists make hypotheses, observations through gathering data, and then act upon them. when i dissociated a lot using the internet i knew it made me feel worse like tired and irritable. you could color code by how activities make you feel for example.

>And if you don't mind could you make up an example of how you would write it all?
i like making a table/excel spreadsheet, if paper works for you feel free to do it on paper and keep it in a visible place.

in my most mentally ill, had a spreadsheet with 48 rows for each half hour of the day, and would merge/write/color code in them what i did (like sleeping, work, seeing friends, etc.) top row of spreadsheet would be date. if going by hour is easier i'd do that. if you have gaps in the beginning because you forget or don't log it's okay, you're learning a new habit and for me it was a visual indicator i was extremely unwell and dissociating because i could not keep up with this habit.

now for work, i keep a spreadsheet log of my projects with 3 columns: date/time period worked that day on it; what i accomplished, questions, or issues; and what i need to do.

looking back i wouldn't say this isn't perfect and may encourage tracking too much information about what you do for the sake of collecting data, but as you refine your goals you can decide what you want to focus on. but when i was using the internet to dissociate, keeping track of how i spent my time itself was important for me to feel grounded.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 05:45:03 PM No. 2265954

>>2265952
samefag (i edited this post a lot), one problem i see in hindsight is tracking for the sake of tracking and not having goals alongside it. so make like 1-3 goals at a time (preferably one you focus on, so spending more time on a hobby or getting exercise, or getting to bed earlier).

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 05:48:54 PM No. 2265957

>>2265945
Not hopeless about it anymore, but I used to be. As fucked up as it is, the whole prejudging thing brings freedom: They're gonna know I'm disabled no matter how well I mask, so I might as well just not bother and have a good time with it. Doing this filters out a lot of the fake-friends/immature non-communicators too, because the same people willing to browbeat a sperg trying her best are usually repelled by a sperg unashamedly living her best life. It's not the autism those kinds of people smell, it's the lack of self esteem that gets beaten into most of us before we reach adulthood.
>Most therapists will just tell you "oh it's irrational to think everyone hates you" is it though?
It's not irrational to think it (because studies have shown this to be partly true when it comes to social perception of autistics), but it is harmful to act like it and let it get to you. Having a prolonged victim mentality isn't healthy, it drains you and doesn't make people treat you any better.
>Like how many of us in here worry everyday that you're gonna find out someone you know hates you because they couldn't be mature enough to discuss a communication blunder you made that you had no idea about?
If someone reads too much into a neutral statement, so what? That's on them for being too emotional, not on you for just remarking that the grass is a different length than the last time you saw it. Those are not the kind of people you want for friends anyway. When people decide to sit on a misunderstanding and let it fester, they're demonstrating to you that they are not mature enough to be in an adult friendship. It sucks ass when it happens, but it's a blessing in disguise that tells you not to waste any more time on that person. Worrying about it beforehand is not going to give you some divine knowledge on which people are currently being immature and uncommunicative, it's just going to make you feel worse.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 05:56:13 PM No. 2265963

>>2265586
>I'm always baffled when yet another fully functioning human I've known for years "comes out" with their recent adult diagnosis.
nta but isn't that just because some people are higher functioning and some are lower? Like I feel like a retard compared to some autists on social media, like they seem like totally normal people to me most of the time, and they never talk about really shameful stuff, like for example delayed learning of things that required motor skills, like tying shoelaces or buttoning clothes, or even personal hygiene (my mom was helping me with it till I was 13 and I'm still ashamed of it), I remember teachers telling my grandma that I should already do certain things alone without help of adults, and I heard that and it was another reason why I felt lesser than other kids. Not to mention kids never wanted to play with me and called me "weird" and I didn't understand why. I struggled my whole life with keeping up at school and I now struggle with keeping a job. There was a person at my job who bullied me when she noticed I took everything literally (for example she was telling me my boss called me because I did something wrong - I didn't - and I believed here and I went to my boss and asked about it, and she was like wtf are you talking about). It happened countless times. My boss also told me they were thinking about firing me because I "lived in my own world" and didn't communicate enough. Sometimes it's hard to believe others are different than me. But maybe that's why someone created those terms regarding your level of functionality?

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 06:03:23 PM No. 2265975

>>2265963
>nta but isn't that just because some people are higher functioning and some are lower?
also nta but that accounts for some things and not others. Social dysfunction is a key part of the diagnostic criteria so if someone is diagnosed without having any history of social problems, they're probably among fakers talked about itt. tbh most of the autists who are loud about it on social media (particularly late/adult diagnosed ones) are faking and using autism for diversity points. even the most high functioning among us struggled as children and likely continue to struggle into adulthood because we have a neurological disability which affects our social and language perception, motor skills, senses, and a host of other things. That said, most people aren't broadcasting their struggles on social media, they're encouraged to curate a perfect-seeming life just like everyone else who uses it.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 06:33:00 PM No. 2266016

File: 1731954780017.jpg (45.23 KB, 735x765, cc172ed63c797c4e12841ee777c9f3…)

I wish I was free from cringe. I could never make friends as a kid and I tried everything. In kindergarden I tried singing to others because that was what cartoon characters were doing, they literally communicated through singing, I was also using entire dialogue sequences from cartoons. Later I tried to bring other topics I found in books or on the internet, but kids just weren't interested in that, they had this natural ability to just "play" with each other, without much talking, that I didn't have. I studied human behavior in movies. Then, in highschool, when I was 16 and went to a new class in new school, I committed other cringe acts, for example when we had some interesting topic in history class and one girl had different opinion than mine, instead of talking to her about it, I went to a library and I printed an entire article about it; it was like six A4 pages, with sources and all, and I brought it to her the next day and told her to read it because I thought it was interesting and it might have changed her opinion, but she just looked at me like I was retarded and didn't say anything and didn't take the article. I still wonder, was my behavior really that weird? Because I would be happy if someone printed an interesting article for me. Or any time I said something I thought was normal and others were just staring at me or laughing but never responding, often I still don't know why. I can't think of a SINGLE successfull human interaction with my peers during school, so from 6 to 19 years old in my country. This is soul killing

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 06:47:00 PM No. 2266036

>>2265586
Doctor thought I had ADHD because I passed the self-screeninf test and told me to get tested and I tested negative. I don't have ADHD, my self esteem is just so bad that I think I have ADHD. I didn't do the autism test though.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 06:52:08 PM No. 2266040

>>2265586
Testing just left me with more questions than answers, apparently I have a "social communication disorder" that required further testing but was already 1k in the hole so I just quit. Felt like the psych was just dangling a concrete diagnosis behind more money

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 07:00:11 PM No. 2266048

>>2265175
Document literally every single thing he says or does.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 07:22:44 PM No. 2266075

>>2266016
Awwww, nonnie, this is exactly how I used to behave until 7th grade so I feel you a lot. By then at my new school I got bullied so severely (literally getting beat up unprovoked) that my spirit was practically broken and I was forced to learn "normal" behavior which carried me for the rest of my life, up until the pandemic when working from home caused me to lose all human contact to mirror. I never recovered and went back into my autistic ways. My best advice is just to try your best to surround yourself with people who are equally spergy because masking fucking sucks in the long run and requires so much energy to keep up.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 07:33:54 PM No. 2266086

>>2266075
>My best advice is just to try your best to surround yourself with people who are equally spergy
Serious question, where do I find other spergs? I went to a comic con once, hoping it would be easier to break the ice with people with similar interests, but nobody seemed as socially stunted as me and I wasn't able to talk to anyone. And after like 2 hours my battery was so low every noise and light started to bother me and I had to leave. Well at least I got some nice pokemon cards out of this… I tried to find people on the internet. When I still had an art twitter I had a few people I talked to, but they all lived in america and I live in europe. It's really hard to meet new people once your're out of school, you have no social circles and work 9 to 5 in order to survive

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 08:00:51 PM No. 2266109

>>2266086
Before the con, see if you can join the conventions discord and ask if there are people in your area interested in meeting up and hanging out since you don't know anyone else there

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 08:03:08 PM No. 2266110

>>2265366
I was deadly scared of rope skipping because I was the only girl who was bad at it

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 08:19:07 PM No. 2266129

>>2265963
>nta but isn't that just because some people are higher functioning and some are lower?
ayrt, I AM an high functioning autist who grew up with other high functioning autists (both in my family, and due to being grouped with them in school and medical settings). I also know a few people with ADHD. I know what high function is like, they're just not even close to it. I'm not talking about people on social media who may hide that their apartment is a shit hole because they can't even keep a basic level cleanliness, I'm talking about people I've known in person for years. I've seen how they live, I've followed their activities for years, I know they have a stable job or study on a normal level, they're in normal relationships etc. Then out of the blue they come out with having autism or ADHD (the latter being more common). It just doesn't add up.

I even know a few people who I very strongly suspect would get a diagnosis if they got evaluated, because I can see how they behave and struggle and that it is consistent with the (real) diagnosed people I know. Yet somehow it's never them who claim to have it.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 08:20:03 PM No. 2266131

>>2266109
Hmm sounds like a good idea anon, thanks
>>2265366
Same here, also problems with batting a ball or kicking it, that's why I was totally useless in group games like voleyball, soccer or basketball, my movements were delayed, and my balance was also really poor. But the worst thing is I'm still unable to ride bike, it's like I can't coordinate my legs to do this circular movement and also focus on directions at the same time? It's really hard to explain when other adults ask me why I still can't ride a bike. For that reason I will never drive a car either

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 08:32:17 PM No. 2266144

I was hanging out with my friend's friends for the first time and they used autism as a joke/slur in front of me, none of them know I have autism kek it was so wonderful, I felt like my masking was so on point they had no idea I'm a sperg. Unless I misread and they were subtly shading me, but since it was directed at other people I don't think so.

What's you nonas stance on people using "autistic" (or ADHD I guess if that's you) as a an insult or in jokes? I don't really mind if it's a joke or casual comment, only if they seem to hold actual contempt towards us do I mind. I just feel like using any version of "retard" doesn't mean the person actually hates a group of disabled people. But I also enjoy edgy comedy and such so maybe I have high tolerance.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 08:39:10 PM No. 2266150

>>2266075
NTA but I feel you nonnie, I'm on the exact same trajectory. I wish I got back the 'mask' they're all raving about shedding. It's been a fucking nightmare.

Anonymous 11/18/24 (Mon) 11:57:27 PM No. 2266390

>>2266144
depends really. my closest friend is good example. I make jokes about my autism all the time, and once in while she says one back. it’s fun. I used to have an autistic friend I could do that with too. however, I have been in those kinds of exaggerated edgy humor type friend groups and I could never do the same with them. they had genuine hatred wrapped up as jokes. funny, considering half of them could probably be diagnosed with at least adhd.

Anonymous 11/19/24 (Tue) 04:55:23 AM No. 2266688

I've been medicated for ADHD for a couple of months now but i don't know how I feel about it. It's fine with me until afternoon when I get cranky and tired and stuff. Idk why but it happens sometimes. It stopped happening for a while but I got prescribed a different generic than usual and all that super annoying stuff is back and I really hate it. I wanna take my meds often but I cannot eat on my medication it's makes me nauseous when I try. I've been working on it but uugh. I hope I get used to it soon I really love how I get to be able to Buckle down and I like that I'm not constantly thinking about everything all at once. I feel so bored right now though unbelievably bored. I hate it! I also was diagnosed with SPD when I was little and I wanted to talk to my doctor about autism because I have Sensory Processing, ADHD, and Social anxiety and im wondering if the SPD and Social anxiety might be autism? It would be nice to know for sure but I really want a better understanding of how I'm working in my brain.

Anonymous 11/19/24 (Tue) 05:57:39 AM No. 2266718

I can't drive because we can't afford driving lessons and I've lately been super paranoid of driving anyway. I have really bad coordination and I keep getting anxiety that I'll just lose focus of all my surroundings, crash, kill someone and land a sentence or kill myself. It sounds super retarded and irrational but knowing my coordination I'll justify it. And since I can't drive I can't get a job so I can't get money for lessons. Endless cycle. I'm just stuck as a full-time college student atm.

Anonymous 11/19/24 (Tue) 08:31:01 AM No. 2266796

>yet another job interview
>failed
>"you should try interview training!" as feedback

As if it matters. No amount of training is going to make me able to mask autism during interviews because interviews will always make me nervous and if I'm that nervous I can't mask. Sorry that I'm not able to tell you well why some pencil pushing job is my passion. The fuck kind of question is that. Who's fucking passion is that. And how can I say I love x part of the job if both you and I know well enough that I don't have experience with that job? Interviews don't even feel like that, they feel like I'm being interrogated because how dare I not have a traditional path to the job. And there's no answer that's considered acceptable anyway so what's the fucking point. I'm ready to give up but they'd deem me too functioning to get disability either. And I can't even get basic bitch jobs either because "if you have y degree why are you applying for our store?". I can't win.

Anonymous 11/19/24 (Tue) 03:35:25 PM No. 2267151

>>2266796
You don't need to "mask" per se, but you can still learn how to tackle questions you get asked.
Like if you get asked a retarded question like "why is this boring ass job your passion?" and you both know that lame shit isn't anyones fucking passion and that this is a new field for you, you learn that the answer to give is something like "I'm excited to try new things" why smiling and looking friendly so you pass their vibe check.

Write down every retarded question you've ever gotten in interviews and see if you can find sweet cookie cutter answers to all of them to prepare in the future!

Anonymous 11/19/24 (Tue) 10:38:39 PM No. 2267889

>>2265957
NTA but thank you nonna, I needed this. Been beating myself up about how everyone seems to sniff the ‘tism out and hate me on sight, but a lot of that fades once I talk to them/stop hiding away like a bridge troll. And can confirm that people who judge you for being openly autistic, or even for masking, are not people you want to bother with. Hell, even talking to some of their neurotypical friends gets you to realise you’re not the only one who dislikes those rude people.

Anonymous 11/21/24 (Thu) 11:26:36 PM No. 2271356

I wish I was born completely retarded. Imagine being able to play with legos and watch cartoons with shitted pants forever

Anonymous 11/22/24 (Fri) 02:27:26 AM No. 2271547

I got a job where I have to spend a lot of time with coworkers for the first time and it's been so difficult. I've been really trying hard to fit in and whatnot but their behavior makes so little sense it feels schizophrenic to me sometimes, and I can never correctly guess what the reaction is going to be to something I say. They are actually really nice and one of them suposedly has ADHD (but is still a complete normie) but small talk is just so hard for me. I thought I'd gotten really good at masking and communicating in the last couple years, and I've become more confident, but I still have no idea how to deal with them just blurting out random facts about their lives while I'm sweating bullets trying to guess which reaction they're expecting. Also every week it's a whole conversation about what everyone did on the weekend, and my weekends are always the same, I stay home and engage in ny cringe interests, so I have to come up with stupid normie activities to lie about, I know it's far from the worst thing in the world but I feel like it completely drains me every time