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I was diagnosed with autism when I was 11. I'm pretty high functioning and can talk to people easily though I do some autistic things like pacing back and forth in the kitchen thinking about hypotheticals and fantasies and having no long term passions (I tend to just be passionate about one thing and it takes over almost all of my thoughts but then move on to the other,however, recently I've been passionate about nothing and it sucks cause it makes me feel empty)
Hey anon, you've pretty much described my life story except I didn't get diagnosed. I don't think it would matter because I don't get any benefits in my country. I had a long term agoraphobia (7+ years), I was constantly bullied at school for being withdrawn, weird and quiet. My teachers bullied me for not wanting to establish eye contact or liking get touched. I could go on, the list is so long, and only later when there was a short informative documentary on autism did I finally understand what was wrong with me.
But no one will ever care so I have to find ways to make living with little to no social contact. It's hell but I manage.
Weirdly enough I'm okay with my mentality and lifestyle but I know it bothers everyone else.
It's the constant expectations by others that can be so exhausting.
Why do we need a joint ADHD and autism thread? Wtf do they have to do with each other?
When I was a kid my parents sent me to get tested for aspergers. Turned out I had ADHD. But now as an adult it's not like going to an autism support group or receiving treatment for autism would benefit me in any way.>>586572
The OP image probably shows that girls with autism are more social when they're kids and less social as teens while in school. It has nothing to do with changes in sociability as adults. I have no idea why you think it has much to do with you as an adult. You're probably less social from isolation or stress.
I honestly wish I wasn’t diagnosed with asspergers when I was 17, I feel like my parents feel bad about everything I went through as a kid.
Sometimes I wonder if the whole aspergers thing was just something I developed because of the constant bullying and isolation I went through at school, I’m pretty sure that being diagnosed as a kid wouldn’t have done any changes in my life nor in what happened, if anything, I think that it could have made things go worse.
I guess I’m still in denial when it comes to things like mental health conditions, I like to think that I’m normal and that I don’t have aspergers, I mean, everyone has quirks, I guess. But the more I think about what a person with aspergers does, the more I can’t help but think that I have that condition.
I wish I could change this and that I could be a bit more normal, specially when it comes to the socialization part, here I am writing this instead of hanging out with some friends of the family that came to visit my brother.
As someone with ADHD, I definitely had social issues but I worked hard to overcome them and build a busy social life. I tried to join a support group when I was in college but everyone there seemed like huge normies so I left. Another one of my good friends has ADHD and was medicated from a young age, and he's nothing like your stereotypical sperg as he's very charismatic and athletic. (In particular, he played ultimate frisbee which is kinda hard to do if you were a sperg with poor hand-eye coordination)
I don't see the point of grouping people with ADHD together with autism.>>586629
I've never heard of people with ADHD being unable to wear certain sweaters or anything like that
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ADHD and autism have a lot to do with each other. You sound autistic getting upset about it funny enough
So most people with autism have ADHD but not the other way around? Doesn't that sound redundant?
And if I'm autistic, guess I'm just like you then.
I understand that you want to talk about this stuff but this exact thread already exists here though>>556829>Neurodivergent, spectrum disorder and ADHD>A thread for girls in the autism spectrum, ADHD and other neurodivergent people.
So much for being hyper focused kek
You shouldn't be getting addicted to Adderall if you have adhd. What does it do for you? How often and how much? Are you sleeping?
You should talk to your doctor about this, Adderall can cause some nasty side effects if it's not doing what it's supposed to
I take it twice a day. I brought up the addiction aspect roughly a month ago and she switched me off the extended release so it wouldn't stay in my system as long. I'm in research so I desperately need it to be able to complete my assignments otherwise I tend to be lethargic.
For the most part it does what it's supposed to in that I am able to complete tasks without distraction and finally giving me enough energy to get out of bed and complete chores. I have to admit sleeping at night is a bit of a struggle, some days I'm able to hit the pillow and go straight to sleep if I worked long enough that day while other days it takes a couple of hours to go to sleep.
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With autism, it can't be cured but it can be treated, but it's more difficult to treat adults/teens than children. If I were in your shoes, try to take it slow by finding people with similar interests in this thread. >>>/g/44295
Yeah, I don't fuck with adderall. I mostly don't fuck with meds, period. I'm not looking for medication but I'm wondering if it's something my workplace should know in the future? Like, maybe people would treat me better? My fear is more that people would think of me differently if they knew I had autism, unless they couldn't already tell.
Come to think of it, I've never in my life had anyone accuse me of legitimately being autistic. I don't know if that's a sign I just mask it really well, or a sign that I'm overthinking the entire prospect.
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Oldfag of 30 yrs here. was diagnosed with Asperger's and dysthymia at 14, and spent approxim half of my life with self-esteem issues and sabotaging myself. I'd say it's been about 3yrs now that I can say I'm not depressed and have been working fixing up my life.
mostly I pass for nt, I can act extraverted and am pretty funny and also dress fashionably. Usually when I tell ppl I'm on the spectrum they act surprised. Female autists are generally better at masking anyway but it's still super exhausting and my social battery can go from full to drained in seconds.
How are other adult autismo's here faring
dirty 30 this year too, fuck yeah oldfags rise up
I'm trying to dye my hair grey cause I started going WHITE at 26 kek
how did you get diagnosed, because I have a referral for an ADHD specialist but I honestly think I have some form of autism. I wish I could explain how it feels but I just know something is going on. they nearly diagnosed me with a fucking blood disorder and am "too high functioning" (lmao) for BPD but any time I ask a doctor they give up when they realise it's probably not physical. idk if it's my age or country but something's up and nobody is helping. shit started getting real bad when I was 14 and I'm so anxious I can't leave the house some days and am desperate at this stage for an answer. can really relate with the self esteem/self sabotage issues and just looked up dysthymia and it seems spot on, any advice you have would help.
really proud of you, anon. I'm sure you're hilarious and dress like a weapon, but I can understand how much social anything can bring on a deep fatigue. just hope you're doing okay during all this covid shit.>>588044>>588050
also anons, agreeing/hoping other on the spectrum farmers will chime in. it's a struggle to be taken seriously and hard to admit tbh
hope you cuties are having a good day/night regardless.
>>588059>how much of my personality is ADHD and how much of it is just me being naturally insufferable
I struggle a lot with this too. In regards to just being adhd personified instead of a person, my doctor responded to this once by pointing out that it's human nature to reduce anyone to the sum of their influences or other category, such as a religious upbringing in a strict home etc, but that there will always be small details specific to each person that don't fit the overall pattern that get overlooked when we do it. That didn't help me much kek, but it helped me think about myself as more of a venn diagram than a single trope. He also once said that psychology isn't an exact science so the definition for adhd is changing all the time and maybe adhd won't even exist oneday because we'll have split it into different things? He's not the most reassuring man but that at least he's honest!
As for the "insufferable" part, that's a lot more complicated. For example you can't deny that it's annoying to have to look after someone with no arms, but you can't blame them for insufferably not having arms or let them use it as an excuse not to walk. I do think it's important to strike a balance between accepting your limitations but not just using your diagnosis as an excuse for the worst stereotypical behaviors.
Your post really made me pause in my tracks not only because of the symptoms part but also the perpetual woman child thing. I rarely ever go on r/adhdwomen because it's just a big asspat echo chamber where users relate every detail of their life to adhd, but I was literally looking at this thread last night and being sad about ithttps://www.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/hrhn42/anyone_else_feel_like_a_perpetual_womanchild/
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>>588090>people online trying to validate each other under the umbrella of mental illnesses
This imo. I always treat social media posts that imply "people with x struggle with y!" the same as you would a horoscope meme that makes assertions about a star sign.
Adhd_alien is especially bad for it, see pic related saying it's hard to focus on films. It should be obvious that's not going to be the case for every adhd person all the time, and that it also doesn't mean that everyone who can't focus on films has adhd, but the comments will always be filled with "yes omg same so validating neurotypicals can't relate" and "I have this do I have adhd?". Stuff like that makes me feel even more embarrassed to have this diagnosis.
Also OT and sorry to blogpost but today I took my vyvanse for the first time in a while and now I've ironically wasted my morning typing and reading about adhd, I wish they would motivate me to do something useful instead kek
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It honestly disturbs me how little help/support/understanding women with Aspergers/High functioning autism get. We go through our entire lives never being diagnosed, have to crash and burn socially and in our careers before anyone listens to our symptoms and even after you get diagnosed, most don't take it seriously compared to men. They just have an expectation that you must be incredibly smart to compensate for your poor social skills and sensory issues and when they realized you're just someone with different wiring, they treat you like a child. It fucken sucks.
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Thank you!! Despite masking taking so much energy I'm just glad it makes being socially accepted smoother!!>>588052
fuck I love grey hair, if it wasn't such a pain going from black to grey i would do it to!!
diagnosis; I became depressed and a shut-in in around age 11. I tried going back to school the years following but it never worked out, finally 3 years later I was diagnosed by a psychologist? Now that I think abt it I'm surprised it took that long? But some of the symptoms I had were: not looking ppl in the eye and chronic toe-walking.
The thing about dhystymia is that to other people it doesn't look like depression, it just looks like you're an pessimistic asshole. For me CBT has been a huge help, it doesn't work for everyone but it worked to take out the sting of feeling permanently hopeless for me…
Anyway I wish all fellow oldfag ASDers good luck on their journey!! II've had other friends of mine deal with late ASD or ADD diagnosis as well and in a way I realize it was lucky I had the chance to try and figure out what was "wrong" with me sooner rather than later. But I really admire their process so much.
Good for you anon. I was in a similar situation a few years ago in a bakery position. My shift was 1 am to 7 am and I had the entire kitchen to myself. Loved it, the work was extremely routine/systematic and I rarely had to talk to anyone. Unfortunately I had to move and now I'm stuck trying to find a part time job.
I think kitchen/cafeteria and housekeeping jobs are also good depending on the environment, any work that is hands on, repetitive, and I can keep to myself is ideal.
I've recently been semi-diagnosed by my GP at age 30. They said the mental health services here are stretched at the moment due to corona virus so I would be waiting a long time - 2+ years if I'm lucky - and I can't afford to go private. I think I know I am on the spectrum anyway. I feel like I fall neatly into place within the boundaries of the descriptors of ASD.
I've always had issues with anxiety and depression, and I was constantly picked on in school for having thoughts, interests and ways about me that weren't quite the norm. Not in a 'i'm special' kind of way. Just, I was odd and acted in a way that was obviously off putting to the other children. I had issues with how certain clothes felt on me, for eg I hated wearing jeans and would cry if I had to wear them (I only started wearing them within the last 10 years or so and they still have to fit a certain way for me to be comfortable in them). Same with school uniform. I would get really bothered if it felt weird or uncomfortable. I don't like change, whether that be to my routine or how I've organised things. I would get incredibly upset when younger if my mum would reorganise my room while I was out at school, but I have worked hard on trying not to let things like that bother me these days, though I still get that twinge of discomfort. I am mostly bothered about changes to my routine. Things like people turning up out of the blue, or having plans with friends change last minute. I find myself having to charge up my social battery and if something deviates from the plan, it kinda knocks some of the charge out of it and it puts me off going or taking part. I properly have to psyche myself up to do things socially.
I have a lot of the other markers too, like noise/stimulus sensitivity, info dumping etc, but I mostly seem neurotypical because I have gotten so good at mimicking social norms and masking how I really feel. I don't think my life will change too much having figured out my issue, but it has calmed my mind to know that I am not a highly strung cunt of a person on purpose as I've been told in the past by ex people in my life. It's hard to explain that to them though when the feelings kick in and make you look like a dick. I mostly just feel sorry for kid-me, not having received any support with school (I failed) and things like that, but I now have my own house, a car, boyfriend and an okay job in retail. It's just weird to think of how many of us slip through the net and under the radar.
Yeah, especially when it seems no one understands how stressful sudden tasks can be. I had this all through out high school where I had a strict routine that kept me sane and when it was interrupted I'd lose my ability to function and either have a silent meltdown or run away. All I ask for is to be told something a few days ahead of time so I can process it.
Also, do any other anons with Aspergers struggle with driving? I can only drive for very short periods of time and it has to be a familiar area. It sucks having my partner drive me everywhere.
I don’t feel like the diagnosis itself is very important. What’s the benefit? If you tell acquaintances or colleagues about a diagnosis they’ll treat you differently even if they don’t mean to. There’s not a medication to fix it, and social support programs for it for adults are virtually nonexistent.
What you could benefit from is learning about strategies that people who are diagnosed use to live better lives. You can try out different things to see if they’re helpful to you personally. No expensive doctors visit or mental burden or social special treatment necessary.
With all the love in the world, you're meant to be autistic not stupid. Google it, there are endless resources and online support groups out there just waiting.
Please don't be too hard on yourself about how you feel like your social skills are deteriorating when you're going through a tough time. It's very normal for people to develop anxiety disorders when their lives are changing or even stagnating, even without a global pandemic so many people either fall apart or thrive once the training wheels of school are off. It's true that adulthood is scary but it's not a race, you will find your own rhythm eventually if you listen to yourself as hokey as it sounds. If a diagnosis might help you with that, then go for it!
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Oh look, it's a thread about those two disorders whose criteria I meet just enough to regularly wonder what life would have been like had I been diagnosed in early childhood, but not enough to actually make me care enough to get diagnosed as an adult.
Tbh it all just could be symptoms of PTSD too, which I definitely do have.
Even so, people see you as less than because you ask for special treatment, even if your reasoning is genuine. The world isn't fair and is a cruel place and doesn't make exceptions for people with disabilities and mental health conditions.
I have mostly found ways to manage my anxiety around things that most people would find odd. I have a series of rituals I take part in to avoid having to ask for special treatment.
For example, I'll pee in a shewee in my car over using the toilet in a bar because bars give me social anxiety, particularly if I'm not with my husband and children.
I'm sure lots of people couldn't concentrate near a noisy fountain. If you didn't have aspergers you could still ask to be moved. People might think you are odd but the diagnosis makes people automatically assume you incapable. I would rather be laughed at and thought of as the office weirdo than seen as incapable.
This is exactly why I would never want a diagnosis of autism/ADHD, and why I would worry about any children of mine receiving one, too. I really don't understand the need for babying/coddling people who are cognitively different from the norm, and I especially don't see what the point in diagnosing them as having some sort of flaw. This seems like more of a convenience to the professional and the people around the individual who refuse to accept their "odd" behavior as just part of who they are. Like, can we just accept that people are different and be a little bit more accommodating to those who may struggle to fit in with the norm?
My mom is an elementary school teacher and she's always complaining about not knowing how to "handle" the autistic/ADHD kids, and how grateful she is when social workers/therapists step in to diagnose them. It's like, everything "suddenly makes sense" to her once someone comes in and labels a problem. It makes me so mad. She's literally just unwilling to deal with people who are different until they have a diagnosis, and then she just thinks of them as subhuman and "sympathizes" with their awful plight.
In all honesty I do think I gave my elementary school teachers a difficult time. I was very behind in all my subjects and found it impossible to concentrate. As a result I would often skip class all together and wander off or I would sit there fiddling in my chair. I can imagine that they saw me as a liability and I understand their frustration with me, however, the way I was educated did me no favors. It didn't make me achieve more than I would have otherwise.
My teachers were also very cruel to me. Because they didn't like me they used to allow other children to bully me and they used to join in or ignore the bullying even when it became physically violent. I witnessed some of the most unprofessional behaviors from teachers. I would say that teachers and social workers have a really high number of abusive
and. controlling people in their ranks.
So while I understand I was hard to cope with, their behavior towards me was even worse.
I'm not necessarily insulting your mom BTW so please don't take offense. I met good teachers too, but there does seem to be a lot of control freaks that work with children in general, especially in western countries and with disabled or young children.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, anon. I do think you raise a good point, and I agree that it's not necessarily only the job of the teachers to deal with children with ADHD/Autism. I think as a society in general, we need to get better used to just accepting that not everybody learns or socializes in the same way, and that instead of shaming these kids, we need to make accommodations so that they're better able to succeed. It would certainly help if there were more federal funding to make this happen. I think that we can still do this without labeling them as being "disordered," however.
I guess the overall point I was trying to make with my post is that I don't necessarily view ADHD/Autism as disorders at all, and rather just a different way of taking in and processing information.
I agree completely.
I don't see myself as disabled. Just that the approach that works with others isn't necessarily the best for me although I think the fact that I have had to adapt as much as I can means people don't always see that, even if I do come off as eccentric in my mannerisms.
I'm able to live independently, I just process information differently.
THANK THE FUCKING LORD someone else dislikes these comics. This is exactly what I was thinking of when I wrote that.
I am not autistic, but I do have PTSD and I feel like I'm autistic during times of high stress. Whatever overstimulation feels like, I feel like I have it during panic attacks. Also, I agree the fact we are on lolcow posting in here, we are definitely… Special.>>589610
It honestly could be PTSD, do try to get therapy if you haven't already.
Yep, this. I can function normally enough as an adult and live on my own and have a job. I just have a lot of weird habits and am incredibly socially awkward.
Granted it was a lot worse as a kid (I had major social problems and even got tested but Aspergers wasn't a thing at the time). I eventually figured out how to act normal enough and was able to make friends and keep them.
I have a lot of other mental illnesses that are much more debilitating than the autism. Hell, I only really asked about a diagnosis because it just provided some piece of mind to know what was "wrong with me" as a kid.
I am in therapy, thank you anon. I also relate to a lot of what you posted here. >>588107>adhd_alien
Fuck this stupid bitch and anyone else who makes comics like these. They are so infantilizing and lacking in nuance. This kind of shit is why everyone and their grandma thinks they have ADHD/OCD/Autism/etc.
People need to stop relating every stupid quirky thing they do with whatever diagnosis they have/think they have.
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Hey anon. Between 11-14 I was a hikki and only went out to go see my psych. When I was diagnosed with ASD I was sent to special ed school and got a highschool degree. But i was constantly tired so was never really able to study appropriate to my capabilities and still feel behind when it comes to general knowledge. I make up for it in other ways but it’s still a huge source of regret and to this day I’m still trying to make things right. It’s never too late, and everything is fucked corona or not so might as well give it all you got?
Nah, it's literally just a take. I didn't say anyone had to agree with me.
Also can't help but point out that there are quite a few people on the spectrum who agree that autism shouldn't be classified as a mental disorder, and that doing so is more harmful than helpful in their experience.
My main point was that I think it's fucked up that we need to slap stigmatizing labels on people before we accommodate their needs.
I feel you, I was so overwhelmed by anxiety that I just let the years go by without doing anything. Of course I regret it, but back then I didn't really have a choice, my anxiety made the choices and I didn't know how to cope.
Really often I have dreams where I'm sent back to school, but I'm frustrated and embarrassed that I don't understand what the teacher is teaching because I'm so far behind. I know that I need to tackle this, not for the diploma itself, but for me and my self confidence. I'ts just daunting seeing all the work that needs to be done.
I'm like bordering the lines of thinking I'm legitimately autistic or just someone with an obscure sense of humor. I like to make random shit that mirrors spergs on the internet, but in an ironic sense. Literally the epitome of "jokes on you, I was pretending to be retarded". Like, I have full awareness whenever I make a joke I think to myself "This is so fucking stupid but I think it's funny, if anybody else does that's a bonus".
I dunno I just kinda associated autistic humor as someone being fully serious and trying their hardest to please an audience, or they present things in a way where they believe they have a spotlight on them with an bextremely big following, like thousands, but the reality is somewhere in the double digits.
Maybe this is just my ADHD brain, but at the same time I had a friend say I was autistic because I once mentioned a drawing I made a few years ago and was proud of it, like bitch you'd be proud of this drawing too if it made you a profit of $200, which it did lol.
>>605524>she spends hours and hours a day maladaptive daydreaming while pacing around the house
I use to do this (and skip) until I was 16, I got into running on the treadmill and realize I could daydream while I exercised. The only issue is I'm now addicted doing hours of cardio a day, which might sound really useful but, I rely on it for when I'm stressed out or get overly excited and I when I can't do it I'm extremely irritable all day.
Sometimes I'm not sure if maladaptive daydreaming exist or if it is just a form of stimming, I'm not diagnosed with anything but believe I have aspergers.
My sister skips too lol, and I actually suggested she start running on a treadmill but she doesn't want to
Though it's still good cardio tbh, I lowkey envy how she can eat whatever she wants and stay skinny because of how much she's moving during the day
>Why is it so difficult to be diagnosed as a woman?
This drives me up the wall.
I've seen the dumb as lists going around about "How to tell if you're a special girl with autism!"
We can't go around diluting and lessening the severity of what neuropsychiatric disorders actually are.
They're not participartion trophies, they're medical diagnoses with finite resources that should go to those who actually need them.
Autism actually has a lot in common with Schizoid personality disorder, but guess who gets medical, judicial consideration, and monetary support thanks to their diagnosis? Not the schizoids.
So, as far as medical diagnoses go, an autism diagnosis is a priviledge is most cases. Still the resources aren't infinite!
That's why it's important to preserve the respect and consideration the diagnosis currently has in the world. Or you'll all be left with nothing, no support or considerations in the eyes of the law like the poor people with schizoid disorders.
Anyway, back to the subject.
I'm in fact a young adult female and I'm actually sent to an autism evaluation for the 2nd goddamn time.
All because professionals won't just accept I went there and explained how i'm not not autistic.
I'm "not being forced" they "just want to make sure, because it seems likely". Yeah thanks, doc, being called developmentally cHaLLenGeD really warms the heart.
So it can't be difficult to get a referral as far as I can see, since I've been sent TWICE. (Northern European here, would love to hear what its like in other parts of the world)
Getting referred literally just required me to be socially awkward, having no friends, and being bad at holding eye contact.
(Easy peasy for Münchhausens, I guess.)
As for actually getting the diagnosis, THAT I will conceed might be unfair, especially seeing as how historically the research has been focused on males.
But people saying "girls aren't seen~~" as a blanket statement, and then try to dilute what autism actually is to include everyone with even minor similarities is just straight up irresponsible and destructive.
But these are just my subjective and anecdotal opinions.
Dysthymia officially, and "likely" -Tism undiagnosed just refreral.
Bupropion and escitalopram helps my symptoms slightly,
My biggest issue being my severe life destroying exhaustion, which is made worse by sensitivity to hormonal changes. So I still think it's some fuckery going on in the old noggin.
I absolutely hate being this weak and that's why I'm trying to find the source of my issues, even if i'm forced to do things I don't want to do.
The only reason why I'm humouring them and going for a second time, is because I have been reassured that getting a negative result on a neuropsychiatric evaluation might actually help me further investigate what it might be.
I wouldn't waste people's time and resources like this if I could avoid it. I tried explaining myself once. Now I'm just desperate to find a solution.
The harder you try the more people expect from you in future. It's shitty, something is bound to give under that pressure. Have your family been understanding at least?
I was diagnosed at 30, no supports available for high functioning people of that age here either. I can't go back and make parents, teachers and various other people understand what they put me through. I pushed too hard as a 'smart kid' and the burnout/meltdown actually came years before the asd diagnosis.
Told my dad the news last year and he changed the subject 30 seconds later, took no time to look back and consider how hard they punished me for having typical autism traits. People think autism comes with automatic coddling from everyone around you..not really when you're female and diagnosed in adulthood.
I’m sorry about your dad’s reaction, that sucks. Maybe it takes time to sink in? My parents are trying to be supportive but they don’t really get it. My mother is the one who did most of the pushing when I was younger and never really stopped; she’s still convinced that when I just find the right job my autistic traits will simply disappear and then I’ll be free to cure cancer and earn a Nobel prize. She’s really invested in the idea of having a highly successful daughter who will achieve all the things she never could.
My father is probably autistic himself but avoids mental health professionals like the plague and has never been diagnosed. He’s been self-employed for over thirty years now and has no idea what working in my field is like. He thinks that I ought to throw a tantrum at work so they’ll be forced to accommodate me. No dad, they’ll just fire me…
I’ve had several concealed meltdowns over the years where I ended up sobbing in some toilet stall or unused room, and every time someone heard me or caught me fixing my makeup afterwards it only made things worse for me. Many people here use autist as an insult and a synonym for retard so I doubt that “coming out” to my coworkers will help. The most I could do is maybe get them to stop using it when I’m around and probably use it more
behind my back.
For me the burnouts/meltdowns came long before the diagnosis, too. I think that’s really common for girls and women. We’re written off as overemotional and anxious and maybe put on medication, then pressured into pretending that solved everything and we’re fine now. At least, I was.
To be honest I’m kind of envious of autistic boys who get diagnosed early and coddled from an early age. On the one hand I’m glad I’ve developed the ability to pass as nt when I need to, but on the other hand I probably wouldn’t hate myself so much if I hadn’t spent my entire life trying to be a different person.
>>620008>the meds affect people with adhd and people without adhd differently
I don't have adhd but where I grew up I'd always hear people saying that adhd is just a made up term for badly behaved kids or for poor parenting. I heard it so much that I almost just accepted it as truth.
Then I heard about the differences in how the meds would affect a non-adhd person and I was like..oh that's a real thing.
Sometimes one family member getting diagnosed is the thing that kick starts others to look into the possibility. I got diagnosed at 30, I suspected my dad had it too and to my surprise he recognised it in himself. At 65 though he's not getting assessed.
When was your bro diagnosed? Like did you grow up in a family that was familiar with the signs or is this a recent diagnosis?
I got diagnosed at 30, got no supports afterwards. Nothing really happened and even my dad was very 'meh' when he heard the news. It was anticlimactic for me personally. I don't know what I expected to change.
How curious are you though? Might be worth it just to get solid answers. If you have sensory issues it's validating to know why. You might get more patience from people but at this later stage in life you also might not. It's been discussed on here before but women don't seem to get coddled after diagnosis.
>>623249> as a girl you have to force yourself to be nice, make eye contact and just get over it.
that's why we dont get diagnosed properly, we are forced to pretend we are perfectly normal or else we are crazy cunts, we'll never get a man, etc. cause nobody likes a girl that speaks her mind and challenges what society thinks we should act like, which is something aspies tend to do a lot
> eye contact
ew, just ew… anyone else hates eye contact? or any contact in general for the matter
I was diagnosed around that age and after diagnosis I definitely went through a bitterness over it. One of my parents has already passed away so they just never knew me as autistic. I expected the other to maybe have a moment of realization like > Wow I guess we really made some mistakes in retrospect, Your problems were real and you weren't just being an awkward fuckup on purpose
I didn't get that and I still ruminate on it sometimes. Can't change the past but one open conversation would've helped alot. Hell even my ex treated me badly because my autistic traits annoyed him and I got abuse there that I didn't deserve.
I feel like therapy should be either automatically offered or if not should be sought out after such a late diagnosis. It's alot to process. Makes you see your whole childhood differently and can open up old wounds.
This is my main concern and why I have put it off for so long tbh. My ex abused me too, called me all sorts of names and treated me abhorrently but I thought it was normal and believed what he was telling me. I remember struggling as a child to make friends and those I did manage to win over, I clung onto for dear life. I would spend every day of Summer holidays over at my best friend's house and we would play all day with dolls, imagination games and all sorts of things. I used to use this specific voice to give to one of the dolls we played with and her Dad came storming up the stairs and told me to shut up because I sound like a retard. That stuck with me for my entire life, and I think if I get diagnosed with autism/ASD I will feel so upset for myself, as I was as a child, to have been called that.
My Mum can see it now that I have pointed things out to her, but no one ever told her I might have it or suggested otherwise. My school wasn't very good with treating my bullying, which ended with me having a mental breakdown and becoming homeschooled while the bullies stayed on and achieved their grades. Looking back on it all, ASD seems like the right fit for my experiences, and I feel so sad to think there are so many other girls out there struggling with it like we did. I will definitely try and seek out therapy if I get my diagnosis because as you say, I think a lot will be brought to the forefront of my mind. Things I haven't thought about in a lifetime.
If anon can't study, weed brain is going to make it worse in the long term>>623532
Nobody ever wants to hear it but a regular exercise and sleep routine works wonders for ADHD but nobody ever wants to acknowledge it because it takes effort. Omega3 can help with general cognition too.>>620008>the meds affect people with adhd and people without adhd differently
It's unfair that everyone else parties on these pills but they just make us feel flat
I wish I knew what my meds would do to my bf so I could see this in action but I'm scared it would lead him down the path of amphetamine addiction kek
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i cannot self-teach, especially in the environment i’m living in at the moment. i want to improve on the things i love like art and music, plus engage in studying with my free time. Do any other anons have this problem? It’s so frustrating how I feel as if I literally cannot achieve or improve anything. Of course I also think if i keep thinking it’s impossible I will never improve. It’s a vicious cycle. There’s just an extreme mental block that prevents me from really sitting down and enjoying learning and improving. How can I get over this without immediate medical help? There’s also those feelings of immediate frustration when I cannot grasp a concept instantly.
I semi-recently only realized I had relatively severe ADHD and it’s been a real eye-opener for me as to why I act the way I do. Growing up, I was convinced I was just lazy or depressed by my peers. Just can’t get access to proper help like a lot of people atm.
I'm the same OP but I'm getting better. Here are some tips.
> if you enjoy reading/audiobooks get The Practicing Mind by Thomas Sterner. It totally changed my perspective and kinda taught me patience in a weird way.
>Learn passively in your free time. I struggled to teach myself to sew by following instructions etc it was super frustrating and overwhelming, but I started watching sewing vlogs on Youtube for fun and passively absorbed a lot of useful knowledge. When I get around to sewing I'm less overwhelmed because I remember the theory behind things and what order I should do things in.
>When actively learning, find a program with a lot of structure that's made for beginners. Anything you want to learn, somebody has created a free course for it online. The dopamine high of finishing a module is very motivational and it's okay to chase that.
>Set a time limit for your learning routine. I use an actual timer. This takes the pressure off getting things perfect because you "win" by just not walking away during the learning time. So instead of saying "I'm going to practice this chord change until I get it perfect" which will lead to tears, tell yourself "I'm going to practice this for 10 minutes and then I can be done."
And just remember that failure is a 100% necessary part of learning. You can't find the 1 right way of changing chords/drawing hands/whatever without first exploring the 99 wrong ways. Failure is not an obstacle to progress, it's a non-negotiable part of progress.
When I'm failing during practice I try to calm my frustration by saying "yay, I'm fucking this up which means I'm trying, and I can't get it right without trying. I'm nailing this because I'm DOING it and not moping around procrastinating, wishing I could be perfect."
I hope that makes sense. Learning is such an enriching part of life anon, you can do it, I believe in you
Hi, op here! thank you anon! I read your response this morning and it motivated me. It made me want to start off today right. You gave me a new perspective on my frustration and I appreciate you so much for that.
on learning, i agree so fucking much. there’s so much i want to learn and improve on. it’s one of the best parts of life, it sucks that I’m stuck with this brain rot that prevents me from doing what I love and investing in creativities/academics. Thanks again anon.
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>>632939>Mrw I don't have ADHD but still procrastinate terribly and don't follow up on useful shit I want to learn
Thanks for the useful tips anon!
I'm very very tired and ESL so pardon me for rambling I just need to vent
I'm diagnosed with ADHD. I have struggled with depression/anxiety since early teens. It took 10 years to get the right diagnosis even though I was treated in a mental clinic.
I study at the university that has good ratings but my major is not very prestigious or hard to get in. Why do I even care?
I handle my stuff well enough so I don't fit in the spoonie category but I struggle in "the real world". I'm afraid I'll never be good enough to find a nice job.
I hate myself for procrastinating and leaving every task to the last minute.
I'm very tired and have like 2 hours to turn my essay. The teacher said that it'll drop the grade if you frequently miss the deadlines.
I will probably just write a sob story about how my crazy ass is struggling with remote studying.
I just heard that all classes will be held online in this academic year.
I want to move in back to my parent's house because there are horses and more space to live but my boyfriend does not approve that. I mean I'm free to live my life as I want but I have to respect my partner's wishes too. >>639863
OT but I recommend you watch South Park episode "Sponsored Content".
Both of my friends sought diagnoses from specialists, but got told they just had depression anyways. One of them lucked out because her mom is a dr and managed to connect her with a specialist who prescribed her actual ADD meds, but that was the only way she was able to get an actual diagnosis. I'm not even from a shit part of burgerland, so you'd think specialists here would be competent, but I guess not. >>640441
Ask your primary care doctor for a referral to a specialist, I guess.
I would just ask your GP that you want to be tested for ADHD/autism and ask for the appropriate referral. My doctor did a preliminary screening test for me and and then referred me to a specialist.>>640454
That sucks, I'm in Australia so I can't really help you there. I have a friend in the US who struggled with a similar problem and she got to thr point where she called around for a psychiatrist who was actually willing to evaluate her for ADHD instead of trying to put her on more antidepressants. It wound up working out for her.
Where I live “autist” is now used exactly as “retard” used to be and is somehow considered socially acceptable, even when used to insult people for things that have nothing to do with autism. Failed a test? Autist. Missed the bus? Autist. Drop something? Autist.
I don’t even really mind autism as an insult for something that is genuinely an autistic trait, like not getting sarcasm, but it’s essentially being used to describe basic everyday stupidity or clumsiness. A lot of people here don’t actually know what autism is
outside of the insult, so when I try to talk to someone about my diagnosis it’s like I’m telling them I’ve been professionally diagnosed as a dumbass.
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Unpopular opinion but I think it's for the best that it's usually so hard to get an ADHD diagnosis.
It's good the internet is allowing us to learn about how what's wrong with us and that we aren't alone but it also means anyone going through a hard time can see a shit like pic related and get sucked into the neurodiverse twitter echo chamber and decide it's the answer to everything, and then google how to trick their doctor into giving them a diagnosis. It was so frustrating waiting years for my mine but I don't think it should be easy to just get one without exhausting all other possibilities first, stimulants are more dangerous than anyone gives them credit for and it's awful how many people are overmedicated by doctors that don't care and also how many people really do lie so that they can abuse the medication or sell them as study or diet pills. Just like depression ADHD should be managed through lifestyle changes as much as medication, it makes sense a doctor needs to evaluate if a patient is capable of making changes.>>640134>Should I even try to seek a diagnosis or would I just be wasting my time?
If you have ADHD for real then it might be with you your entire life, it's never going to be a waste of time even if it takes years.
Yeah. It's this, anxiety, being flighty, and dangerous impulsivity that have me medicated. I need to know everything about something once I've taken interest, even sometimes when I'm not fully interested. It blows for playing video games with heavy story and findable materials/codices because I put so many hours into it and I'm afraid I'll miss some integral part of the story. Even when the series turns to pure shit. Games like The Witcher are fine to watch, but there's so many gatherables and questlines that I get overwhelmed and exhausted with it. Also, hence why I have a room full of various art supplies, sewing machines, a serger, knitting/crochet needles/yarn, embroidery supplies, shit to make soap, jewelry supplies, etc.. It's an obsession, then once I figure out how to do it, do it for a couple of months, it goes in it's spot again to be picked up later.
Sorry. Wish I could have just posted an outside link for this massive blogpost.
It's fine to blogpost outside of cow boards, anon. In fact it's extremely helpful and appreciated!
I have so many signs of ADD it's crazy. I really need to look into diagnosis someday, when I have the extra money.
It's so hard to draw a line between 'you just have a passion' and 'this may be an ADD/ADHD sign, boo'.
How do normies experience being interested in things?
I'm super impulsive and obsessive. I just barely stopped being addicted to buying random things because of it.
It's worth it. I had a childhood diagnosis, so it was easier to talk to them. I was on it as a child, grandmother took me off in middle school and my grades went directly into the garbage. Failing a class each semester bad. I didn't get back on it til college and then pulled a 3.75 GPA. I know it's not just "a passion" because I'm guilty of retarded shit and annoying behaviors otherwise, like provoking people threatening to shoot me in the parking lot (he was a massive prick and was laying on his horn for no reason, more to it but blogpost, etc).
I don't really know how normies do it. I guess they just stick with things more easily and aren't distracted constantly when they're doing things they hate.
I have this too. It was triggered
by the sounds of my parents eating, breathing etc. They didn't want to believe me that it's a real condition and not some tumblr bs!
>>669971>hence why I have a room full of various art supplies, sewing machines, a serger, knitting/crochet needles/yarn, embroidery supplies, shit to make soap, jewelry supplies, etc.. It's an obsession, then once I figure out how to do it, do it for a couple of months, it goes in it's spot again to be picked up later.
That’s odd, I don’t remember writing this post.>>669989
Same here. I especially hate radio with annoying DJs but there’s no way to avoid it at work. People criticise me for wearing noise-cancelling earbuds but also refuse to turn the sound down on the radio. I have to take regular breaks to hide in some quiet hallway and clear my head of all the noise.
I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 11. My mom thought I was autistic for the longest time, but no, my pediatrician just said I was a ADDfag. I got a Concerta 36mg script which helped to an extent, but also not because I was a socially impaired dumbass who was getting bullied so I was still missing assignments. My mom has terrible parenting skills, so her lazy ass stopped taking me to the doctor's to get a new script when I was 13.
Flash forward to now, I'm 18 and a senior in high school. I'm a mediocre student with a pitiful 2.7 GPA. I only excel in classes that interest me, and do badly in ones that give out repetitive and useless assignments. Now that school is completely online, I feel even more distracted than ever. Instead of doing my work, I'm usually listening to music or browsing imageboards kek. I'm in danger of failing senior year and not graduating on time, which is giving me a major wake-up call.
I tried talking to my mom about going to a new GP (I literally haven't been to a doctor in five years) and getting referred to a specialist, but she only downplays it and refers to her coworkers who have ADD and don't need medication or therapy to function properly. She had me try CBD oil, which I've been on for a week, and currently it isn't doing SHIT. I can't even go get help by myself, because I can't drive and have no money. I'm frustrated and I feel like a broken machine that no one wants to bother fixing. No clue of what to do next.
I genuinely wouldn't be surprised if I have ASD. I took the Aspie quiz (which I'm not sure if it's reliable or not, obviously it's not comparable to a official diagnosis) last year and received a 167 out of 200, and the questions were so specific about my habits that I was freaked out. I was sitting here thinking, "Other people do this too?!"
I don't have any family members that live near me, and my mom doesn't trust my friends. I think she also doesn't want me to get back on medication because she hopes that I'll get into the military. Topkek, because I'm never going into that shit, it seems like the worst imaginable work environment and I don't want to be surrounded by neurotypical/misogynistic scrotes.
I'm pretty sure I have to plead my case to my mom more, she's stubborn as hell and doesn't want to admit my problems are getting worse.
If you're young enough that you're not settled into a career, or if you're still living with parents and in need of supports to move out and become independant it might be helpful. If you already live alone and have a career then it has limited use.
I was diagnosed at 31, already living alone, had a career, parents had passed. Can't really say I gained much except a bit more understanding of myself, I never even told anyone and life hasn't changed. If anything it affected my confidence.
i was recently diagnosed with asperger's syndrome at the age of 32. i went to the therapist cause i was having repeated episodes of depression and they seemed to last longer each time (not the clinical kind of depression, just regular ocasional sadness/apathy) my therapist suggested that i might have some form of high functioning autism, and i had some suspisions as well beforehand. my life/lifestyle didnt change at all, but i think i gained confidence cause now i know why i think the way i think, and i also know i'm not just a random freak that has odd thoughts. well ok, i am but im not the only one! kek>>672093
> the questions were so specific about my habits that I was freaked out. I was sitting here thinking, "Other people do this too?!"
same anon. as i said above, i had my suspitions about having asperger's so, naturally, i did a bunch of research, did every test i could find that had somewhat "scientific" backing (scoring well above the threshold for ASD on every single one of them), read a lot of essays, books, publications; watched/read testimonials of adult aspies, took all of the tests a second (or fifth time) to see if the scores could have been influenced by my mood on the specific day i took it the first time… you know… the usual aspie instant obsession with a topic or interest. double kek
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I’m really afraid that I’ve fallen into the self diagnose echo chamber online even though I relate to most of the criteria.
>Parents thought I had Autism as a toddler, doctors said I didn’t
>Had a habit of going up to strangers and just telling them my entire life when I was really little
>Feel like I’m not reaching my potential because of mental roadblocks I can’t fully explain
>Very low frustration tolerance for anything I’m not familiar with
>Sensory issues, had tons of meltdowns over clothing tags/ribbed socks when I was younger
>Extreme and really weird fears when I was younger, grew up terrified of vomit and tornadoes in a state that hadn’t had one since the 50s. Structured almost my entire childhood over trying not to throw up.
>I fucking hate gristle and meat, I automatically gag and lose my appetite for a few hours if I accidentally bite down on it
>If I don’t get something done the day it happens it’ll be weeks until I get back to it
>Severe reactions to any and all rejection, even if it’s just a rude passing comment by a stranger I think about it all day
>Full blown meltdowns all the time when I was younger, still do it sometimes at 24
>When I was in school I’d do ALL of my projects the night before even if I had weeks to work on them
>Forget almost every due date unless I have three different alarms set up
>Many times I would get questions that I definitely knew wrong because I accidentally marked the wrong, even though I remember choosing the correct one
>Large mental library of knowledge and I seem to only be able to access at certain times, constantly forgetting answers to things I know I know
>Trying to do a task I don’t want to do feels physically painful
>Gets super angry really quickly, goes away just as fast
>Always need to have something going in the background like TV or music even as a kid
>Easy A’s in subjects I liked while failing really easy lab courses in college multiple times because I didn’t care about them
>Ever since middle school my grades would start off strong at the beginning of the semester, dip drastically in the middle when I lost interest, and then shoot right back up while I played catch up for 2 months of work in 1 week
>Was convinced I had hearing damage from band because I couldn’t filter out certain sounds while at my first job (droning noise from a big kitchen vent)
>Hyperfixations on things like that go on for months, like YouTube channels or TV shows that I’m constantly switching between
>Hyperfocusing on things I like for hours
>Would get insanely tired and fall asleep all the time in classes I didn’t like even if I had a good nights sleep before
>Only antidepressant I felt actually had an affect on me was Prozac which can treat ADHD and depression. All of them other antidepressants I’ve been on have felt like there was something missing
There’s so much more but I’m having a hard time putting the rest into words. I have an appointment with a new primary at the end of this month but now I’m terrified they won’t take me seriously and just dismiss me like other anons. Even after typing it all out I still have some self doubt on ether or not I have it
The main issue is that it is fifty-fifty and depends on the doc or even the psych. I was obviously a massive autist as a kid, which made my diagnosis by the pediatrician easier, but getting a specialist after I got out of high school was killer (overloaded hospital system and shitty insurance), especially when you get a psych who only insists on prescribing you the same medications and refuses to listen to any concerns you have.
That said, no harm in talking to the new primary and seeing how they mesh with you. Still worth trying to get treatment for. I wasted a lot of my years because I thought I did not need ADHD meds.
Of course I don’t know what you were like as a child but it’s not uncommon for high functioning girls to not show any obvious signs until they’re in their teens, at which point emerging autistic traits are often ascribed to puberty. In my case my parents both have a lot of autistic traits as well so they considered my behaviour perfectly normal.>>673302
My situation is very similar though I’m an aspie and not a teacher. Seven years of higher education and only now I’m finding out that the field I’ve built my life around probably isn’t for me. It’s painful.
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Reading this thread is making me wonder if I should see about getting a diagnosis.
In my immediate family I have 2 nephews and a niece that are properly diagnosed with autism.
My mother has a strong feeling my one of my adult brothers could have ADHD.
As a child I had photosensitive epilepsy and I fear this could come back to haunt me some day. I also have issues with maths I can do the basics needed but then my brain feels foggy and I can't go further no matter how much I try to understand. I was a smart student but that's what held me back in my youth. I was an oddball and didn't have many friends. I can be somewhat social but when I hit 23 I became somewhat introverted. My sense of direction can be poor and I can't give anyone directions ever.
Sorry for the sperg I just hope I'm not some normie bitch being paranoid.
I just wanted to know if anyone that's had a diagnosis has had some of the same issues I've experienced because a lot of it contradicts itself at times.
Do any of you have trouble with repetitive sounds like tapping? I find I have extremely little patience with stuff like that and after a while it almost feels like I'm being tapped on?
Also smacking, people who whistle their S's, hell even people who just have a dry mouth all make me feel physically repulsed, if it's bad enough it even feels like someone is touching me or breathing on me and I can't get it off no matter how much I rub/scratch/slap/etc. I feel so helpless and disgusted it throws me into a panic. what do? how do i cope?
There's the genetic component. Don't mean this in a bad way (I have autism myself) but I know a weird amount of women who have multiple autistic sons. Ones that were diagnosed really young so they got pregnant while already raising one known autistic kid.
Sorry if that comes off as offensive. I know people have different views on things like that but if your 2 year old is diagnosed with something do you immediately roll the dice again? I'm such a copy of my autistic dad and I do not want these genes photocopied again lol
One of the worst for me is when people sniff, repeatedly. I was standing in a queue once where I'll never forget the amount of discomfort one constantly sniffing man caused in me. He was directly behind me and the person in front was taking ages. I broke into a sweat and considered just running out of the store. One of my top autistic moments.
For some reason sounds coming from directly behind me are a big irritant. I feel your pain, short of wearing ear protectors i don't know what can be done. I've seen people wear them but I don't want to stand out like that.
i read there is a genetic correlation (not causation) and also that most children with ASD are raised by parents that are either autistic themselves or they have a lot of autistic traits but they are subclinical (meaning they dont have enough traits to get a full diagnosis) We learn our "social skills" from people that are not completely neurotypical and that's why we dont get diagnosed early, especially if we are in the higher end of the spectrum and learn how to mask well. we think the way we behave is perfectly normal because we see our borderline autistic parents behaving and thinking the same way as we do. I also read that a lot of autistic people had some kind of trauma/problems during gestation or on the perinatal period. in my case, my mother had pretty serious bleeding during the first trimester of being pregnant with me and almost had a miscarriage.
sorry if my english is shitty, esl and aspie anon here kek
sorry samefag. i forgot to add that both my mother and especially my father have a lot of autistic traits (im 95% sure my father is a full blown autist) but obviously they never got diagnosed cause they have that boomer mentality about mental health "i dont need to go to therapy, im not crazy!" sure, jan…
also both my nephews have ADHD and one of them has self harming tendencies even tho he is way too young to understand why he does what he does (he's not a attention seeking teenager, that's what i mean)
I feel like psychology just can't keep up with technology and the lifestyle change. It's not that weird to have problems focusing when you have a million screens and entertainment outlets available constantly, are constantly bombarded with notifications and even media and movies try to put in more and more action just to keep your mind busy.
High functioning autism I think is also hard to differentiate from just the behavior of people that have been less and less social and having less face-to-face time with actual people, and kids that get taken out of school or special treatment and avoidance enabling because they have a hard time coping with social situations instead of just learning to muscle through it.
I know I sound like a boomer, but I'm only 25.
It's researched and thus diagnosed more these days, this "why is ADHD so common now kids just lack DISCIPLINE" discourse already existed in the 90's and that was 30 years ago. There isn't some big conspiracy about tap water chemicals or anything, the more we learn about these neurological issues the more people are able to be diagnosed and get the treatment they need. Hell just recently it's been concluded that female autism/ADHD patients have been severely underdiagnosed due to the disorder definition being written around male patients so female symptoms are unnoticed and they've had to struggle with all the untreated issues thorough adulthood.
Sure there are parents who just opt out of responsibility and pressure their doctors to give their child the diagnosis to shift the blame off their bad parenting but I doubt they're a very noticeable number. Also since autism is being spoken of way more you get all the Twitter snowflakes self-diagnosing to excuse their social ineptitude so that might be why it feel it's so "common".
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Fellow autist anons, how have you come to terms with having autism? I know I'm autistic, I've been officially diagnosed, but I'm still kind of in denial about it. I just really don't want to be autistic because I know it means I will always have difficulty socially. I have this idea that I can't be cool, attractive, or fun and have autism. I feel like I will always be that cringy weird shy girl.
saraontheinternet is a good example of a cool autistic girl, go check out her instagram.
(pretty model, not an instathot, removed fake boobs years back due to immune-related health issues they caused, and to get rid of her scrote fans, regularly roasts creepy men in posts and stories)
I found that the diagnosis hit my already lacking confidence pretty hard. For years I walked around thinking people can tell there is something 'off' about me and since the diagnosis those thoughts have only increased.
That being said, I've seen examples of high functioning female autistics where they come across just fine, deep down I know I'm probably in their same range but yeah the diagnosis can make you feel like shit. I feel that.
>>676120 >How many female aspie murderers have you come across? Zero, probably
True. Still feels awkward to be reading discussions and come across quite so much aspergers talk. It's alot.>>676122 >Autistic guys aren’t any more likely to be violent than regular guys
I think for some they are extra coddled and that's why they tend to kill when mom and dad threaten to stop financially supporting at like the age of 30. They're extra entitled after a coddled upbringing
I know exactly how you feel. Getting diagnosed didn't really help me tbh. It made me more aware of when I'm acting retarded which is more of a curse than a blessing imo. The idea of a diagnosis is to use that awareness to fix some of your idiosyncrasies but it just makes me feel self conscious. What helped me more was getting therapy and keeping myself busy with a relatively autist friendly job and hobbies. It's really hard but I've been slowly building my coping mechanisms this way and getting better without meds. If you're struggling with motivation so bad that that won't work you might benefit from meds tbh.
The one good part about the diagnosis though is that if it gets too bad for me to work, I can get neetbux lol
Also I hate that lawyers try to use ASD as a legal reason for murders that took a high level of function. It's important the law recognizes people of any gender may be unable to make sound judgements due to learning or developmental issues, but who can believe this same special treatment should extend to high functioning people that can drive cars, understand the concept of law and can tactically plot the most effective way to kill someone? Not understanding social queues isn't even in the same ballpark as not knowing killing ten people isn't allowed and it's an insult to ASD people everywhere.I'm obviously salty that the incel who killed people with a van in Toronto recently pleaded "not criminally responsible" and I'm not even ASD
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>Covid 19 creates a world where we are all constantly on our computers at home but expected to perform as if we were still in the environments specifically built for work/study
>Rapid increase of posts from anons who suspect they have ADHD
>ADHD memes suddenly so prevalent online they leak into cow threads
There is more than one way to interpret this but it's interesting
getting an official diagnosis helped me accept that my brain works differently from the rest but that's ok. i got diagnosed as an adult and i already have a job, my main problem is socializing and always feeling like an outcast and not knowing why, now i know why and i feel less like a freak. im not on meds cause i dont want them but therapy is a must (even if you dont have aspergers/adhd you could benefit from it) oh and btw since in my country i wouldn even get neetbucks, i only told my closest friends so this doesnt happen > I know that people wouldn't see me as a person and use autism as a way to invalidate everything I do or say
imo my diagnosis is for me, to know myself better and not for other people to know or use against me or pity me. i have a fairly normal life despite being an aspie.
Different anon but I had an autistic friend years ago (years before my own diagnosis) and a while into knowing him he told me he wanted to confess something to me. He was on a suspended sentance for child pornography charges. He'd had thousands of images and had actively communicated with a pedo ring to request that specific abuse happen for his viewing pleasure…
His parents paid alot of money to have an expert write up an assessment saying that because of his aspergers he didn't understand what he was doing. This was a man with a college education and a job who lived alone and drove and functioned. His own sister had been sexually abused by an uncle so he saw the effects of it firsthand. He should of got 3 years in prison minimum but based on his autism he only had to go on an offenders register for those 3 years instead. His life was normal again and he paid no price. He was on all sorts of sites looking to hook up with women and one day I remember trying to talk him out of meeting up with a much more severely autistic woman because I knew his plan was sex. He was a predator. I hate his parents for bailing him out. I hate the judge that accepted it. I obviously ghosted him after that confession. He also had a crush on me and was pushy at times so thank god I found out and got away from him. It's enraging.
What do u mean anon?
i always see more bpd self diagnosis and rn that topic is everywhere because the extroverts can keep calm and "socialize" KEK.
it took me a long time to realize i was a sufferer of adhd, and that i actually wasn't just plagued by apathy and laziness. though, sometimes i feel like i'm really just still a lazy person when i simply just can't do things. right now, i'm sitting in bed trying to muster up enough… something… to do my absolutely overdue work. I'm grateful for having leniency but also don't you guys ever feel like such an academic burden?
I know by all means I am not a stupid person, yet I'm so scrambled, unorganized, inattentive (especially in a home setting) and stagnant. I can't put into words how much my inability to work actively and with effort has affected my academics. I'm going to get help of course, but how do you guys remind yourself, it's not you and that it's just simply your brain being different from others? Is getting medicated really the best way to go? I have some anxieties towards it of course, I'm afraid that I may not even have adhd and I'm making it up in my head sometimes, even though clearly it's the case. I hate making non-justifiable excuses for my behavior.
My heart goes out to you. Anon, I don't know what it is. I wrote a paper for a composition course last week that I did hours before it was due. I didn't even fucking read it when I was done writing it and got compliments and a 93 on it. Math, however, I study for hours and hours and hours. It has taken me 3-4 hours to do 20 question homework assignments, granted I'm wiggly and have a hard time staying in one spot, but it drains me afterwards. I wasn't aware that dyscalculia or math trauma was even a thing.
I would offer to help, but it would be more like us commiserating in math retardation.
>>679300>How do you deal with dyscalculia?
I literally just don't even try anymore kek
I understand this is impossible if you're studying or working in an environment but I'm so incapable that now I've finished education (with blood sweat and tears I managed the bare minimum grades) I do everything to avoid them, we're really lucky to live in a time where we have small computers in our pockets. I use a calculator for the most simple things, if someone mocks me for it I just tell them I have a learning disability so they can fuck off. I only use digital 24 hour clocks, I don't care if people notice I need to Google which month is whichever number of months of the year, or if I hold up the line somewhere working something out, I just try to have as little shame in how I can't do these things. If someone tries to tell me a date or phone number I make them wait until I have something to write it down on no matter how much they tell me "it's easy to remember". If someone wants to make fun of me for it, they're the asshole.
This defeatest path absolutely isn't the best way for people to go through their lives because it stops me from ever understanding things like mortgages etc but also I know that if I'm ever in the position to have to worry about that, I should be able to find a friend or even paid professional that can give me advice. I'm always going to encounter situations I can't deal with like crying in public because I forgot 13.00pm isn't 3.00pm or getting screwed into paying an unfair portion of the bill when I asked people to just tell me what I owe or when I'm given the incorrect amount of change, but I haven't died from it yet.
If it's causing you genuine roadblocks to success then I would recommend you go with the studying/tutoring route because I do know that I was able to do more complicated maths during school when I was forced to do it every day, but I also know that for me there's never any guarantee that my eyes are seeing the correct number which is actually written down and so it's not worth my energy to fight against it. There are many successful dyslexic authors out there, so if you want to face a challenge then don't let anyone tell you not to!
It's hilarious on serious topic how ppl mistake symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder to ADHD. At the same time ADHD gets more diagnosed in adults as there's more resource for the disorder and it's taken more seriously. Which is good, but at the same time it won't decrease the misdiagnozing.
I don't know where you live, but my friend got diagnozed by psychiatric nurse from private sector. And usually people get diagnozed by neurodivergent disorders at private mental care(=costy.) We've got public and private sectors here.
I've prepared for saving up for this reason, next year I'm going to search for therapist with knowledge of PTSD and ASD/Autism/AD(H)D.
I'm probably on the spectrum, that's what I've been diagnosed so far.
Honestly, i also do suffer from a acute case of dyscalculia / though i can do very basic things but it took me to 3rd grade to count to 100 and i can't still read from analogous clocks/ and i actually am glad my school let me do the area with the " Easy" maths where i was able to actually do pretty decently.
My advise is to use the calculator and research on a tutor that caters to special ed students and wouldn't mind a grown up student if you do want to insist.
Just know you can still do math with a calculator and there's no shame in calling quits. God knows i tried
do you have miso? it's absolutely fucking unbearable. as far as i know, exposure therapy does not help with this disorder. for me i get so incredibly enraged, it's unreal. i end up punching myself in the head as hard as i can and it only helps a little bit. mostly i just avoid triggers
as much as i can.
earplugs, anons… and dont hit your head ffs!!! when im extremely overwhelmed and annoyed i had punched walls and doors tho so, im not better than you kek.
also if you can, remove yourself from the noise, like go for a walk alone or something (sorry esl aspie-anon lol)
I have ADHD-PI and am wondering if the next time someone calls me "blonde" or "ditzy" or w/e should I just tell them that I have a cognitive disability so they feel bad and shut the fuck up? I'm sick of people making these comments like they're okay because everyone is just a little forgetful. I'm not just forgetful. I've studied my ass off for years at like 3 times the amount a normal person has to so I can have great book smarts when it counts, yet I still sound dumb in casual situations. I thought I was decently book smart but since I've graduated in May, I've basically forgotten how to have an intelligent conversation. I mix up and forget the meaning of words that I've known/used. I have severe misophonia to where I'd cry if my headphones didn't work at night bc my roommate snored in her sleep. My life for the last few years has felt like I'm going senile. I thought it was because of depression medications but then I recall how people used to ask if I had 'ADD' when I was a kid. My siblings are also diagnosed and because they were bad at school, my own ADHD was overlooked so I wasn't able to be diagnosed until recently (22). I'm currently off medication–otherwise maybe I wouldn't be having these issues.>>676112
Could it also be that since autism in boys is diagnosed so early that these men are used to people constantly bending over to accommodate them which creates more entitlement than an average guy? I agree that it's entitlement like >>676120
but there is probably some added entitlement considering parents of autistic boys are always making excuses for them. Whereas women are typically diagnosed much later so autistic girls grow up with self-esteem issues instead of the entitlement that's seen in autistic adult males.
I talk to myself out loud a lot, specially if I really need to focus on something, I’m either talking to myself or singing or mumbling random stuff that might be related to what I’m doing.
It’s kind of funny to see random people trying to figure out whether you’re talking to them or not.
I was shamed heavily for that so finding the humor in it is a little hard.
I'm sorry For the Anon with cognitive issues lol. Autism gives me my blind spots too
I sure hope so then.
I can't help that i am a vivid day dreamer
Lmao… I like Sonic too. Was a big fan of Sonic Adventure 2 for like 10 years straight.>>682396
I mostly wonder because I developed an anxiety disorder in my early 20s, and there's a lot of symptoms that tend to overlap. It's also the fact these interests have been stronger with me ever since I gained access to the internet when I was 10, but I think I used the internet and my interests as more as a form of escapism from my neglectful parents.
I notice the catty shit in my behavior too sometimes, and I wonder if it's a product of being raised around girls that act like that and a mirror to the behavior or if I'm just a dick too.
My biggest problem is being misunderstood, and not being able to convey exactly what I'm trying to say in a way that's palatable for other people and holy shit, people can be so ready to jump your ass as soon as you screw up. Wish I could give you some kind of useful advice
It is actually pretty fun. I have a theory that it is perfect for people with ADHD because there is always more to learn and debugging feels like it triggers
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Is this really possible to do with legit ADHD or does this person just not have ADHD that's as bad as mine and others? I can't listen to music while successfully doing another task…ik that's incredibly sad.
A lot of ADHD/autistic people need to multitask in order to reduce the intense concentration aka hyperfocus. You can exhaust yourself very fast by focusing only on one task at a time. Do two things you like at the same time, and you pace yourself.
But for me it has to be things I'm already familiar with and trust, like music I already know or a TV show I like. No way could I listen to new music or watch something I'm unfamiliar with and work at the same time. It's extra nice to put on several familiar things at once.
For that person it seems like those chillout playlists are in the trusted/familiar zone and therefore don't take their attention away from the task. The mistake is assuming other people will like the same distractions as you, it's gonna be a personal choice. I generally can't listen to the radio or playlists since I didn't select the music, only my own playlists. Hope that explains it since I think their post was unclear.
I realize this reply is old but I just found this thread. (I am seeking a diagnoses for autism late in life as well like a lot of others struggling ITT.) I hope it is okay to reply to this with my thoughts:
Where you are coming from makes a lot of sense. There should be more standardized acceptance for people who think, feel, act, and learn in different ways that deviate from the norm, and it sucks how being labeled as different can have so many drawbacks- especially when the classifications of mental disorders are not only treated poorly in many countries but also often minimized by others who slap the label on themselves for attention.
But I do believe people who are neurodivergent would benefit from it being considered a disability to a realistic extent until their existence is more widely accepted, so they can actually get some help navigating a life with some support in certain situations. It could help make an incredible difference in their lives just to have some safety nets.
tldr; blogging but I grew up with a lot of similar issues, like crippling anxiety, sensory issues, bad dyslexia/trouble focusing, anger/mood control issues, tons of awkward social issues, later on depression, ocd tendencies as well as germaphobic tendencies… and when I think back, a lot of these things make a lot more sense to be stemming from being neurodivergant/autistic. And if I had been given that diagnoses as well as support for it being a disability, it is nice to imagine that just maybe some of the really bad shit I struggled through could have been avoided.
Just a quick example but from 1st-12th grade, things like reading a paragraph out loud in a class class or doing a group projects/presentations rightly fucked me up to the point of multiple panic attacks before or during the situation. Or things like taking tests, those ruined me because so many aspects of what I struggled with would flair up all at once. (Nevermind all the social issues over the years, which were messy and awful and some experiences traumatized me for life, including bullying and sexual harassment.)
Going through things like that over and over while growing up… if I was diagnosed and told it was a disability, perhaps I could have been able to have different accommodations to those I was being forced into and could have not only felt more supported and comfortable through school, building a better me for later on in life.
Same with work. I worked a pretty scary job up until recently. Very high stress with a lot at stake, and my boss was an emotional mess and always shrieking to me about everything wrong but not wanting me to fix it. After working there for years and having so many breakdowns because of it, I finally had to leave (although I still feel pretty traumatized by some of the things that happened). If she knew I was autistic, maybe she would have yelled at me less or not at all, knowing that while I can be 100% great at my job, I am special needs and need to be treated different emotionally compared to other employees who don't care about her banshee shrieking 24/7.
Sorry this is long and rambly and kind of turned into me talking to myself, but I guess all in all I really wish I had this knowledge and a diagnosis decades ago, and that people on the spectrum could have some support for what I really feel like is a disability in today's world, just enough so they can just do what they need to do to live the best life they can and learn ways to be the best version of themselves, while those around them could be mindful that hey, they have special needs, and it's cool to support one-another through things that we just are.
After going through so much all by myself, being in the dark most of my life and feeling really lost with no one to talk to about what my brain is doing, all I feel is left is a bunch of messed up pieces of my life I am trying to put back together and fatigue from trying to not constantly think about s*icide or how much I fucked up and feel fucked up, because of how badly I "fit."
For anyone who has ADHD here and has done a DNA kit, you can look into your genetic mutations to see if you have the genetic 'markers' for ADHD that researchers have studied. The only mutation I found for myself was DBH. Mutations of the DBH gene have been linked to ADHD and can affect norepinephrine/dopamine production which could be why stimulant medications are helpful (to me personally) since they increase norepinephrine/dopamine. I used the site below to assess the 'mutations'.https://geneticgenie.org/
I'm not hired by them and just found this interesting. I haven't seen much from other people with ADHD about their genetic mutations and wanted to share in case anyone else here is interested in the genetics of our disorder. For the 'mutations' I just googled the genes associated with ADHD and a variety of papers came up. Then I cross-referenced and compared my mutations to the ones mentioned in the papers.
Sure, I found this one to be most helpful because it referenced a bunch of earlier papers on ADHD genetics.https://www.omim.org/entry/143465
Under "Inheritance"> Several of the genes were associated with ADHD, including SLC6A3, DBH (609312), DRD4 (126452), DRD5 (126453), and 5HT1B (182131).
Under "Molecular Genetics" (these are headings, how statistically significant each of these are for ADHD differs)>Association with the DRD5 Gene on Chromosome 4p16>Association with the DAT1 (SLC6A3) Gene on Chromosome 5p15>Association with the HTR1B Gene on Chromosome 6q13>Association with the ADRA2A Gene on Chromosome 10q24>Association with the DRD4 gene on Chromosome 11p15>Association with the SCN8A Gene on Chromosome 12q13>Association with the SNAP25 Gene on Chromosome 20p11.2>Association with the COMT Gene on Chromosome 22q11
Are you in the US?
Normally in the UK they start you on something with an extended release so that it's harder to abuse so it seems strange to me that doctors would go straight for vyvanse but at least you're getting what most people want
Did you explain you were concerned about taking it every day? I would recommend following the plan even if just so that you can see how it works for you when you're taking it as directed and so your doctor can access how successful it is for you, but perhaps you can speak to them about just taking it on the weekdays in future (or whichever days you work). This is how I take it because I want to feel normal on the weekend and to reduce drug resistance.
From what I've seen on r/ADHD the success of it really varies for each person so instead of worrying about how it works for others you should just give it an honest try.
Fyi your first week might be shitty as your body adjusts to being on meth daily but just remember to eat breakfast with your dose, stay hydrated and avoid caffeine.
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I was diagnosed with asp/adhd when I was 5 and the one thing I’ve noticed is that my biggest hyperfixations are characters I had crushes on as a kid and now it’s just anybody Tom Holland has played because I think his face/voice is cute and hopefully people think this is normal because every white girl in existence likes him
Or maybe it just means I’ll die alone
Sort of. I was diagnosed when I was 8 because I liked collecting shiny yugioh and refused to wear the shoes my parents bought because they didn't fit.
I was tested by some American woman (im a UKanon) for aspergers but when we got the results we found out she really spent all this time testing me for ADHD instead (which I didn't have). So the whole thing was a shit show from the beginning. One thing led to another and the person who was testing me ended up having to re-do her course to test people (not sure what it was but i remember it being a big deal. When I had my real test for aspergers she just sat in the corner of the room taking notes.
My mum has BPD and my dad is a domestic abuse victim
(did I mention my mum has BPD?) I'm also an only child so I think these things would've influenced me being quite solitary and antisocial as a child, not necessarily autism. I was in a special ed class (autism base in the UK) and one of the things that struck me odd was that all of the other kids there had crazy or unusual parents too. For example, one kid's parents wouldn't let him go to sex ed classes because (?) And he kept saying he wouldn't eat his lunch because his parents said he's chubby. There was another girl who had a dad who wore a cowboy hat and had a peg leg. I honestly think a lot of people who are diagnosed as autistic or ADHD are just abuse victims
, or come from dysfunctional families and manifest it in a certain way
I am one of those women who was diagnosed late in life, a year ago at age 30. At first it was a huge relief to finally have an explanation for why I am the way I am, and the Dexamphetamine has been a game changer that cleared the zombie fog and reduced my impulsive drinking and weed use.
But other than that, its actually made me feel even more alone and misunderstood. The social fuckups still happen. I'm still unemployed (early 2020 was a great time to graduate. same as my first degree in 2009 lol. im cursed). All the ways i thought my diagnosis would help me understand myself and move forward have only helped me be a little easier on myself. When it comes to the low self-esteem and anxiety i have about how others see me, its only made it worse. When I'm not achieving anything or I'm struggling, I just try to explain it to my parents or my boyfriend and they just don't have anything to say about it. crickets.
Now my boyfriend thinks he has ADHD too, because he relates to the 2-3 videos ive felt i can show him without taking up too much of his time …. it's so frustrating because he is fairly successful in all the ways ADHD would hinder him. He's fantastic at socializing, managing others, dealing with his frustration, and has high standards for others where he gets annoyed if they are lazy or incompetent. But nah he has ADHD because he didnt focus so well as a kid, and my occasional pills help him smash his work (I give him 2-3 a week, i'm on 6 per day).
His "boss" attitude definitely pops up in our relationship. He has a habit of jumping on my ass about little things and he doesnt like excuses…. I'm just thinking like… my dude, if you had it too then maybe you would understand me better. I might break up with him, but i have no money to move out. But he's also someone who's driven attitude would take us pretty far, and I love helping out without leading. just no criticizing me, talk to me fairly! :(
But since my diagnosis I've been thinking so much about how maybe parenthood, maybe even marriage, isn't for me. The economy is dreadful. I dont have career or finances at 30 so returning to work would be difficult… I read awful stories every week on Reddit about how husbands are just self-absorbed and entitled. It makes my stomach ache just picturing a "normie" future for myself.
I just want to have consistent freelance work online where I dont have to fake sell myself with personal branding. Also, raise my houseplants in my own little quiet apartment. Thats it.
>>686650>Now my boyfriend thinks he has ADHD too, because he relates to the 2-3 videos ive felt i can show him
Everyone does this now that ADHD meme pages are so popular smh.
I myself have been feeling really torn because a close friend said she'd been looking into ADHD and thinks she has it, and her reasons made sense so who am I to gatekeep brain damage… Except she is wildly more successful than the average person, tried to persuade me not to take my medication in the past because she thinks medication makes people too unlike themselves, and she previously said things to me like "maybe if you just do your work when you're supposed to then things would be less stressful for you?". I'm trying to be a supportive friend to her but it doesn't add up.
>>686650> Now my boyfriend thinks he has ADHD too, because he relates to the 2-3 videos ive felt i can show him without taking up too much of his time …. it's so frustrating because he is fairly successful in all the ways ADHD would hinder him. He's fantastic at socializing, managing others, dealing with his frustration, and has high standards for others where he gets annoyed if they are lazy or incompetent. But nah he has ADHD because he didnt focus so well as a kid, and my occasional pills help him smash his work (I give him 2-3 a week, i'm on 6 per day).
I know it's easier said than done but PLEASE stop giving him your meds. Our medications shouldn't help us "smash our work". Ime and other ADHD sufferers' experience, the difference in our productivity is barely noticeable to us but definitely helpful because we get to function like normal people when our low norepinephrine levels are increased. Whereas people without ADHD will have superhuman-like abilities because it gives them more norepinephrine than the average human.
I hope you can get some money together and move out because he sounds like he makes just enough effort to understand your condition to where he can benefit from it. He's likely a non-ADHD sufferer who likes the effects of our drugs and wants his own prescription so he can stop relying upon yours. Those types of people make it harder for people like us to get diagnosed as adults. I sincerely hate when people think that they have ADHD because they underestimate how rough this disability is.
I don't wanna gatekeep but then again I feel like we have to or else we're going to get more and more of these dumb relatable meme pages as the new normal of our condition.
Under normal circumstances, find out the subject and then structure an outline that showcases each paragraph to be a direct question related to the thesis. When I take notes, I make sure and skim through the source and write down any direct quotes with all the info as soon as I see that it's relevant. I update Works Cited every time I add a new quote/paraphrase.
I have glorious plans every single time I write an essay, and just end up sitting there hours before the assignment is due in a panic trying to shit out words. The paragraph above is my preferred approach, but that goes out the window if I procrastinate too much. I didn't proofread the last essay assignment and just turned it in without even making sure it made it through the TurnItIn detection system. I don't know if my professor feels bad for me or what
I came back to see if there were replies to this and saw that I didn't actually finish my sentence. Sorry.
Anyhow, I think she feels bad for me or something because my papers have all been pretty abysmal but I've made 93-100 on all essays and reading assignments.
I too was very sure i had adhd. Been a question hinted at by teachers etc since i was a kid, but never got tested. Started the testing, went into my worst depressive episode to date (not related to the testing!) and had to be hospitalized. Through this we found out that i do infact have bipolar (2), and since you’ve done your research i get why you’re having your what ifs etc. my adhd testing isn’t complete yet but they did tell me that if i do have it i can never go on ritalin/adderall etc, as stimulants will make me hypomanic. At first this was kind of saddening because i was hoping stims could help me get my life together, but i’m starting to feel like whatever info i get will help me down the line either way, y’know? I guess what i’m trying to say is, if you go in and answer all the q’s honestly, then whatever the outcome it will help you in the long run. Just, yeah. Be honest. Wrong meds on bipolar can be catastrophic. Good luck anon, and congrats on finally getting help!
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Nah, you're wrong fam. I got tested by my university and the severity was pretty high.
Also pulling up my report apparently the tester could smell my BO and no one bothered to tell me. wtf, I knew I was depressed at the time but I didn't know I was that depressed. This was years and years ago but now I'm really upset.
Sorry for misunderstanding.
Lots of students haven't figured out personal grooming yet, that's still a shitty way to find out.
I get this and it's fucking stupid. I sweat buckets and my face becomes incredibly greasy but my mouth goes completely dry, which gives me bad breath. Stimulants dehydrate you by making you pee lots and drying out your mucous membranes so I think my face is just producing oil to overcompensate for being dry, so I try to wash it and moisturise in the middle of the day, chew gum and take a travel toothbrush to work even though that's probably a high risk thing to do in a pandemic.
There's not much I can do about the sweat, though. Fuck ADHD.
Ps nice trips Mr Bond
Well, thanks–I'll be damned, didn't even see til now
Gum definitely helps if it can be rememberes, and the blue oil sheets also help instead of needing to full blown wash up. I wonder if I smell like meth or something. I've smelled meth heads before and it's like an odd mix between cat pee and chemicals, but I'll be forever paranoid that because adderall is an albei cleaner amphetamine salt, that I'll smell that particular kind of gross
This happens to me too, but oddly enough, I drink a lot more water when I'm on my meds because only then can I actually remember to hydrate lol. Not sure if it's made my skin produce more sebum. I don't sweat a whole lot either, but it makes my body odour smell so bad. Masking it with deodorant makes it even worse, together they mix and smell like cat piss like >>690254
said. It's horrible. I didn't even realize until now that amphetamines produce this specific smell. In my case though it's totally worth it lol, meds have made my life so much more manageable it's incredible.
What dosage are you on currently.
Typically (at least from personal experiences and knowing others who obtained an adderall script)
They start with a low dose of instant release and titrate upwards and then switch to xr.
You could always ask for a booster of 5-10 mg IR in addition to the xr because that seemed to help me.
Whenever you find an amount that works for you, DO NOT take it every single day, try to take tolerance breaks on weekends if you can. Adderall and other prescription amphetamines are known to be some of the only drugs to carry a perma-tolerance.
I have an appointment soon so I will but for now I think other anons with ADHD can provide more support and personal advice than my psychiatrist who just listens to my symptoms and medicates me.>>693439
I really appreciate the response. I'm on XR 5mg. I was on IR 5mg but the side effects were awful so that's why we switched to XR instead (since Vyvanse is like $330 with no insurance). I want to listen to your advice (once I get to the right dosage) but I can't function in my everyday life. My forgetfulness and inattention is out of control. Is the tolerance really a big problem?
Anon do you know if assignments/reading takes you longer to do than most people? Looking back I was severely impaired compared to my classmates and would spend like 2/3 times the amount of time to do the same work. The only reason I was good at school is because I worked my ass off. I'm wondering if this is the case for others with ADHD that are good at school.> If getting medicated for ADHD would somehow mitigate my anxiety and depression would be amazing because I'm never taking anti-depressants again.
Tbh I'm in this same boat. Currently scaling up on the adderall while on a shit ton of other medications for depression/anxiety. Part of me feels like my depression and anxiety are just a result of ADHD, we'll see what happens when I get to the right dosage. I'll update on this within a few months. Good luck with your diagnosis.
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i just discovered the term “aspie supremacy” and some morons are actually claiming that people who call themselves aspies/say they have aspergers are lowkey nazis bc of hans asperger. obviously the second one is pure bull but has anyone actually seen these supposed “aspie supremacists” or is it just made up so people have an excuse to bash high-functioning autistics?
apparently greta thunberg was getting criticized for using “aspergers” to refer to herself.
This is the first time I’ve seen such a thing. Some people are just out there trying to make everything seem problematic
, I wonder if there’s going to be a counter attack of another group screeching albeism or something like that, or is the nazi panic so big that they will just let it be?
By the time I was diagnosed professionals here had already dropped the term aspergers in favour of ASD. I still tell people I have aspergers though because the average person understands what that means.
If I say I have autism they expect me to be a drooling idiot, if I say aspergers I feel like the average person maybe thinks 'social oddball' which is a preferable assumption compared to the alternative. Telling people you have autism when you're on the really high functioning end of things is messy. It leads to confusion and that's why some are so reluctant to retire the term. Nothing to do with nazis.
>>586560>Why is it so difficult to be diagnosed as a woman?
women are less aggressive and are more attuned to others, thus masking it effectively. we also tend to blame ourselves instead of external sources for our shortcomings. i grew up believing i was cursed to be hated forever no matter what i did. my parents thought i was just shy, and that my stims or meltdowns were attention seeking manipulative behaviour specifically made up to annoy them. meanwhile every time it happened i wanted to disappear.>When did you find out you were autistic/had adhd and when did you get your diagnosis?
i started suspecting it at 17 years old and have realized it at 21. never got diagnosed because its expensive.>What are your autistic/adhd behaviors?
when i'm well rested physically and emotionally, almost none. i am slower at understanding cues and tend to misunderstand them, and come across as awkward. but during stressful times like this, i am almost a different person entirely.
have a feast of:>skin picking stim>lip biting stim>skipping showers>stuttering>slurred speech>tourettes symptoms>becoming a recluse, ghosting>losing interest in everything>inability to react to negativity
on a regular day that's a little bit bad i might stutter, or make a comment that gets misunderstood.
i hate being like this because people assume i'm a dumb asshole. on the contrary i learn very fast and i want the best for everyone, even people who have hurt me.
>lately i decided to try and optimize my autism
i lost all the good parts of it lately but reconnecting with my inner child helped>make quality memes>entertain audience with shitposts>sperg about fandoms>write stories>enjoy stim toys and asmr>gamify life to get chores done>focus sperging on important things
i can't repair all the time i fucked up but i might enjoy my life more
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Yeah yeah go back to tiktok
sorry you're a bigger autist than i am
you win autistic world cup, congratulations
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does anyone else struggle with handling money? i think i have a pretty shitty impulse control because i see things online and get almost manic about needing to have it and constantly live on the bare minimum bc i keep spending too much on things like clothes.
does anyone have any advice on how to deal w this/how to develop a more normal impulse control?
stop looking at stuff. seriously, cancel all newsletters, ban shopping sites, install an adblocker. just don't look at what you could buy. make a commitment that you go 1, 2, 3, 6, 12 … months without buying clothes/games/merch/whatever, challenge yourself and develop a mentality that you have enough. You don't need clothes because you have enough to wear AND it's a burden on the environment. Focus on how shitty clothes are made, how people suffer for your stupid wasteful lifestyle and feel bad about fueling this vicious circle. Keep repeating that and just try to go on a shopping fast, it's pretty healing tbh
I struggle with impulsiveness and then obsessiveness aswell. In a way I use the obsessiveness part to drown out the imupulsive behaviours. I used to buy and collect a lot of stuff where by the time it arrived in the mail it didn't even bring me much joy. Now I obsessively plan and budget out what I'm going to spend for the week in advance and what needs to stay in my account.
The thing that kicked my ass into gear was a break up where I had to move house and found all my living expenses were about to increase. I realised if I'm going to have these frustrating traits for life I needed to at least get them to 'age with me' so I can be a better functioning adult by using the ones that prove helpful. I'm organised AF now and ready if I ever need emergency money.
Keep in mind that shit pops up and your income or living costs change throughout your life, you don't want to look back and resent all the money you spent on spare clothes if you find yourself struggling with the most basic bills someday. Maybe get a journal where you write down goals for saving and see if you can take pleasure in the planning process. Set up an emergency fund for unexpected bills.
get a pinterest and pin things you want, then come back to them a month later.
i put things i want in a wishlist and go through it when i get paid, then make a new one for the next month
Unironically this >>718333
if you have adhd you don't even need to distract yourself with other things you just need to remove the source of your temptation and your flighty bird brain will do the rest unlike the pintrest suggestion which absolutely leads to obsessive 8 hour stints of creating lists of things to buy that you didn't even consider until then
Sorry I should have wrote it!
Well she has terrible tantrums where you can't touch her.
She did not look in the eyes at all until I teached her, but she still don't know how much time is OK for exemple.
She hates to be wet, unless it's for cleaning. She'll cry and scream if her shirt is a little wet. She also hates in the same way to be dirty (or that her clothes are).
She doesn't like hugs, the first she gave me she was nearly 2yo.
When with other children she used to freeze. Now it's better but she doesn't speak.
She can be hyper focused. Like one or two hours straight on something.
That's about it, but there are other things I could write about.
I relate to this 100% anon, you're not alone. I hate the way water hits me in the shower. As a child I sperged out when forced to shower over taking a bath. But I'm totally the same with hating the sensation of water getting on my hair and clothes while washing my face. Baths take too long and I hate being compelled to clean it before I use it every time so I shower.
The only thing that helps me maintain hygiene is to bring my fucking phone with me and watch youtube videos or listen podcasts while I shower and wash my face. Somehow this distracts my mind enough so I don't focus on the sensations. Also at one point I had an autistic weeb fueled obsession with Japanese bathing/hygiene rituals which really helped.
Anon, I'm in the same boat. Even though it hasn't fixed all my issues, I will always shill this book >>>/g/124132
. It's really good and should help you at least a bit. >>718319>>718402
I wish those were working for me. My problem is that I cannot stay in a planned budget even though I want to. And yes, I know that it's my fault. It's just that 'make a budget' is not a solution for me… it's completely impossible>>718359
I like this advice the most (beyond blocking pages, but that's not always possible for me since I am responsible for shopping in my house), but what do you do with limited time offers? How do you stop yourself from spending money on it? Of course it would be the best not to see those kind of items, but once it happens - what do you do? Or do you make an exception (ie you can spend if the item costs less than X dollars, you actually need it in your life, you can buy one useless item monthly, idk)?
I'm in therapy for this along for many other shit. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting better, but than I fuck up again…
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>>712056>some morons are actually claiming that people who call themselves aspies/say they have aspergers are lowkey nazis bc of hans asperger
This line of thinking is so fucking stupid that I can't even laugh at it. Might as well put vegans in a cross because Hitler was one too. Hell, why don't we round up everyone who drinks water and food into camps because every historical dictator has done it in their lives?
I think alot of us on here only got diagnosed as adults or at least got a later diagnosis than boys typically get so giving advice on caring for a child that's suspected of ASD is tough. Girls with it fly under the radar much of the time so by simply noticing this early on you're giving her a good chance to be assessed and raised in a way that helps her.
There's tonnes of parenting books out there in regards to raising autistic kids (way more about that than managing it as an adult so again, win) Ask your general doc how you go about getting her assessed and I'm sure from there you can get guidance or get linked in with supports.
>>721163>any advice on avoiding self medicating with substances when you don’t trust psych meds
Yes, don't self-medicate and do take your meds nonnie
However if you absolutely want to try something alternative you actually need to commit to that alternative in the same way you need to commit to medication. If you're replacing your pills with exercise and a good diet you need to commit to that run and salad every day. If you keep falling off the wagon go back on the meds, you aren't doing yourself any good with wishful thinking.
Whether you're following a prescription or your own route you should keep a regular objective symptom diary to see if it's working for you. Having a written note of how you actually felt that month is a thousand times now trustworthy than however you think you felt.>>730066
I try not to but there just isn't an equal equivalent word for when someone is sperging
I say retard all the time but I've gotten called out in public for it before more than once. The people who called me out were not visibly special needs but my scared ass didn't say anything. My ADHD was undiagnosed at the time. Not sure what to say if it ever happens again because it's not like people even take ADHD seriously. > "Just because I don't have downs doesn't mean I'm not retarded myself because I am indeed a retard. It's really ableist of you to assume that there's nothing wrong with me when I am indeed disabled, you fucking racist homophobic colonizer terf">>739520
The ADHD subreddit is full of people who don't have ADHD and you can fucking tell because there's always a top-rated comment about someone hyper-focusing on their stimulant medication. Then if you try to tell them "hey that's not what's supposed to happen" you get like 2 upvotes while the normie abusing the adderall prescription has like 100+ upvotes which is akin to 100+ people agreeing with that person because they have a prescription for a medication that they don't need.
My stimulant prescription legit feels like no difference unless I miss a few days and then I realize how retarded I am naturally. I'm currently on 20 mg adderall XR and still having ADHD moments. I want to research and understand it more but the fact that ADHD is co-opted by every gender special and normie nowadays makes finding legitimate ADHD experiences so hard. Actually I've seen that some of the people that used to bully me for my ADHD symptoms (being spacey, forgetful) now claim that they have ADHD.
That subreddit has been really helpful at times but half the people on there seem like they just want to say they have something wrong with them and Im starting to not like it there anymore. I feel a little timid, like I can't speak on it anywhere until I actually get diagnosed, even anon on here. People are either way too inclusive or way too dismissive, and tbh I prefer the healthy skepticism because I'd rather be 100% sure I have this than be babied by weird hugbox enablers into thinking my laziness is a whole disorder
but yeah this is all new to me, I only realized a couple months ago there's a high chance I've lived my whole life with undetected ADHD, I just never recognized signs that are super obvious and retarded looking back on them lol. like putting seemingly unimportant pieces of my childhood together and it makes so much sense. I'm so used to not being able to function on a regular basis, easy mundane tasks being weeklong jobs that I have to push myself to complete, etc etc, that I thought it was part of my personality and that I was just doomed to be eternally lazy/ immature/ stunted. I'm very cautious when it comes to self-diagnosing and I'm waiting until I can be professionally evaluated, but this is the only thing I've ever 10000% related to, on a genuine non-armchair non-munchie level. like literally every symptom is something that specifically deeply stunts me in life, the symptoms that antidepressants don't fix.
One thing that sticks out to me is the time I had my wisdom teeth removed in college and it was pretty bad and I was on painkillers (vicodin I think? but it could have been a diff one) for weeks, which apparently is supposed to be heavy and make you feel drowsy and drugged the entire time, but all it did for me was make me feel normal and productive. I had a weird, calm sort of clarity that week and once my teeth healed and I finished taking my meds I went right back to my depressed chaotic normal. Never thought that would be any sort of sign of anything until now, I thought it was just a fluke. I'm still hesitant to jump onto claiming anything but I've only talked about my concerns to two people close to me, one of whom has adhd, and they both were pretty convinced I have it without me having to convince them.
If you don't mind me asking, when/ how were you diagnosed? I know it's super common for girls to go undiagnosed until we're adults, I think I'm like the median age for it. I don't want to come off like I'm using this shit as a scapegoat for people to pity me for being so incompetent in life, and I don't even think I need or want to go on any new meds (i've read that bupropion is used for ADHD sometimes and I'm already on that for depression) I just want some validation and to feel like a normal person for once.
I'm the anon you responded to–I was diagnosed at 22 (recently) after flunking my gre test. My gre test was really fucked up by some dude who was clicking a pen which I could still hear through giant noise cancelling headphones. It threw my concentration off entirely and I realized after that I needed to address that symptom or else I was gonna drive myself insane. For some context, I had previously had issues with noises distracting me to the point that I'd cry because I wasn't able to sleep or focus during a test and so on. I also realized that I had no discipline in preparing for things on my own and could not study outside of a class for the life of me. Reading also took me 3x as long as other people even though I have good reading comprehension. Looking back I spent a lot of time doing homework that other people finished super easily because I read like I'm actually retarded; I've always had to flip pages back and forth because I stop focusing but still continue to 'read' until I realize I have no idea what's going on. Another symptom that I've only recognized recently another ADHD thing which is starting shows and webtoons that I never finish. I have a ton of projects/ideas that I never got done either.
When I look back at my childhood, it becomes clearer to me that I had ADHD. I have a family link because my half siblings are diagnosed with ADHD and my dad likely has it too (even though he's a jerk about mine). But when I look back at my childhood, I was made fun of by other kids for my symptoms. Despite getting decent grades, I also had instances where it showed. Recently my family friend told me about her son with ADHD and how he was tested for the gifted/talented program in elementary school but could never get in because he didn't "have the motivation". SAME EXACT THING for me as a child–it blew my mind when I heard that because I had also passed that test three times but also been turned away because of that exact reason.
As a result I have a major insecurity that I am always going to be perceived as retarded no matter how book smart I am. Even as recent as a year ago when I had roommates, I was made fun of behind my back for "being incompetent" because I'd forget that I turned on the heater and whatnot. I can't speak for people who have been diagnosed super early but as someone who was diagnosed late, ADHD has definitely contributed to my low self-esteem. I do wonder if I would have better self-esteem if my parents had seen it earlier. But the reason I wasn't ever diagnosed is because I performed well academically compared to my half siblings who had a lot of trouble in school. I am also a girl which apparently makes diagnosis harder.
As of right now, I do notice though that even though I'm still having ADHD symptoms, my depression and anxiety have improved because of the adderall XR. I've been on like every antidepressant to exist and nothing has ever 'clicked' like adding adderall. My psychiatrist says that this can happen for patients who have ADHD because ADHD can result in anxiety and depression. I'm eventually hoping to get off of some of the other medications I'm on because in the long run they haven't done much. I'm currently on wellbutrin as well (and was before the diagnosis). It didn't improve my ADHD symptoms but it helped a bit with depression before I added adderall.
Also when I got my wisdom teeth out, my opioids didn't chill me out either but that's because I didn't have a high enough dosage to cover the pain from my surgery.
Sorry for the huge text post but I hope this helps you and some other anons (and not the normies who are trying to get a stimulant prescription because you're making it harder for people who legitimately have it to be diagnosed). I highly recommend looking into a genetic tie because that means a lot when you're getting diagnosed. Here's some questions to consider:
1. Do you have family who has ADHD?
Have you done a 23andme or a similar DNA testing service? If so, try to find your kit info and look to these posts to see if you have genetic mutations: >>684534>>684814
While ADHD research is still being done, if you can find some mutation you might be able to mention this to your psych as evidence that you probably lower levels of norepinephrine/dopamine. According to my DNA I have a deficiency because of a DBH mutation and I'd wager a guess that's why I feel no different on adderall (since the deficient chemicals are simply being raised). But keep in mind that unfortunately ADHD is just a cluster of symptoms like any other mental illness afaik so there's no 'true' cause. I think the mutation is a better indicator of which medication you'd benefit from (low norepinephrine/dopamine → adderall).
Also if you do decide to get diagnosed, in diagnosis process, it's very likely that you'll take a test that measures your ability to focus. To normies reading this, if you don't have ADHD and try to fake it, your test will be flagged. The test is super sensitive to 'cheating'– I have ADHD but got one flag on my own test. My test cost me $125, so don't waste your money to try and outsmart the test. If you're legitimately suffering from ADHD, then just try to do your best and don't try to fuck up on purpose or you'll get flagged. Even if you don't act retarded they can tell that you have ADHD based on your response patterns–trust me.
What really is hyperfocusing? It's hard to tell with all the people saying that it's just thinking about something a lot, I feel like it should be more serious than that. I ask because I think I may have ADHD, I have severe anxiety (like, it gives me strong physical symptoms), possibly depression and sometimes it's hard to focus if I don't care about something and I'm daydreaming, but I was also very poorly socialized as a child and I'm a person who's curious and likes to learn and I consider myself an introvert, so I really can't tell. Sometimes I like to think and look up stuff about something new and exciting a lot (could be a show, a game, some place I'll go, some new art or hobby, languages or history stuff), but could this be called hyperfocusing? I never had problems with school, no issues with sounds and textures, but my mother and brother have them sometimes along with some weird behaviour and a poor understanding of social cues.
fwiw i am not diagnosed with ADHD but i am actively trying to see doctors for it - to me, this doesn’t sound like hyperfocusing at all, it sounds like just having an interest in something. i think i hyperfocus on things a lot, and it usually happens when i’m trying to do work and i end up getting stressed out and focus all of my attention into one random thing. like, say i’m writing an essay for uni about a specific poet - i might go on their wikipedia page to look for a source and then end up clicking on a page about 18th century romantic poetry and i’ll sit there and read about that for literal hours straight instead of doing my work, even despite the fact that i have a huge amount of building anxiety about the fact that my work needs to be done and all i need to do is just click the back button and get back on track.
if any other anons wanna call ME out on this not being hyperfocusing either then that’s fine and please do, kek. but i don’t think your example is hyperfocusing at all, i literally think that’s just being interested in something. imo it’s not hyperfocusing unless it actively becomes an issue, i.e. you can’t focus on anything else because of a specific thing
That's not hyperfixation, but people with ADHD do cycle through hobbies for some reason that never last or they never even start. I have so many weird interests that I was obsessed with for days and then dropped them completely. Of course a lot of normie people without ADHD do this as well.>>740311
This sounds similar to me although I think the best example is social media or games. I know literally everyone is distracted by that but I think the convenience of phones and laptops is especially hard for people with ADHD. Now that a lot of work is done online, we're kind of fucked in that regard. For me personally I've come to realize that any work I do has to be done without a computer because I will somehow always end up on the internet. This works for college courses (or used to, before the pandemic) but it doesn't work when I'm employed and the entirety of my job is basically on a computer.
I looked hyperfocus and hyperfixation to better understand it and found this:> “It’s a way of dealing with distraction,” Silver says. “College kids with ADHD tell me they intentionally go into a state of intense focus to get work done. Younger kids do the same thing unconsciously when they’re doing something pleasurable, like watching a movie or playing a computer game. Often they aren’t even aware that they’re focusing so intensely.”> “Children with ADHD often gravitate to what’s entertaining and exciting, and are averse to doing things they don’t want to do,” says Joseph Biederman, M.D., head of the Pediatric Psychopharmacology program at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. “Combine this with poor time management and problems socializing, both of which are typical of kids with ADHD, and the child can end up playing Nintendo alone all weekend long.”
I guess my own example of hyperfixation would be at a former job of mine I would often work without eating lunch when I got the rare blessing of hyperfixation on my work task. The reason being if I forced myself to eat then I'd lose all concentration on that task. Trying to resume later on would be impossible, and ofc I knew I'd get distracted on the computer. This was before I was diagnosed as well so I just blamed my lack of focus on myself.
I’m only diagnosed with “adhd symptoms” and not actual adhd, but I think I experience hyper focusing. If you don’t know what it is then you’re probably not experiencing it because it is so drastically different than regular attention.
Hyperfocusing for me usually only lasts maybe 1-4 hours. During this time I feel like all my senses are shut off but my eyes. I’m completely connected to what I’m doing like my hands and the tools I’m using are an extension of myself. I often get so startled I have actually screamed during a hyper focusing session when someone walked in on me. Normal people can experience this and call it “flow”, when the challenge of the task perfectly matches your abilities and desire (both in high amounts).
ayrt and wow, your point about >'the convenience of phones and laptops is especially hard for people with ADHD. Now that a lot of work is done online, we're kind of fucked in that regard'
and hyperfocusing on things like vidya specifically is exactly what i mean.
like, i'm literally trying my hardest to not fail out of my final year of uni because everything is online and i just cannot. do. any. fucking. work. like you, the only times i can get any work done is when i suddenly start hyperfocusing on my work itself (which half the time is only motivated by panic because it's due in in like 12 hours, lol)
i hope this isn't weird, but this is oddly nice to hear, though - it makes me feel a lot more confident in my hunch that i have ADHD, especially because it's always been like this for me. thank you for the reply, i really appreciate the source and your own experiences!
Hyperfocusing means you get so sucked into a task you lose all sense of time and completely forget your surroundings. Basically the opposite of "easily distracted."
Imagine sitting at your desk for 8 hours and not even noticing that you're thirsty, hungry or in pain due to not moving. People with autism can experience hyperfocus, too. >>740998>The reason being if I forced myself to eat then I'd lose all concentration on that task.
Problems with task switching is another symptom ADHD and autism have in common, though this one is actually more common in autism spectrum disorder. That's why people with more severe autism often get meltdowns when they're forced to "change things up" and do something different than whatever they're doing in that moment.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Task_switching_(psychology)
Oh yeah, I didn't mean to imply that you're
autistic, sorry about that.
I was diagnosed with ADHD, but I'm pretty sure I'm autistic. That's why I like sperging about the subject. Your problems with task shifting sound very ADHD-y in that they center around your ability to focus. I have difficulties shifting my focus, too, but on top of that something about the process of switching between tasks makes me uncomfortable on a fundamental level. This OCD-like discomfort is what I'd describe as autistic.
Absolutely no problem anon, I hope I didn't come off salty because I appreciate your thoughts! That much insight alone is probably even more than what a lot of mental health professionals have told me about my personal mental health. Are you planning on trying to get an autism diagnosis?>>745059
NTA but how was your experience on Adderall XR if you don't mind me asking? My psychiatrist regards Concerta (or Ritalin) as an ADHD drug for children that are hyperactive.
> "Tell me you don't have ADHD without telling me that you don't have ADHD"https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/lom1o4/first_day_on_meds_honestly_in_shock/
Granted this person could just have a placebo effect but my first few days on adderall IR (which I started first) I was really calmed by the dose and even tired after taking it. The dosage you initially start on is so low that if you're seeing any huge improvement then it's likely that you have excess chemicals in your brain as opposed to being closer to normal levels.
Some people get pissy about me being such a gatekeeper but normies claiming to have the condition just delegitimizes it even further. I'm going to be a gatekepper since I'm naturally retarded without ADHD meds and was bullied growing up because I was unmedicated. Idk if any of you relate.>>745187
See the above. You should feel calmed on it at first. If you have any boost of energy or productivity when you're just starting it then you don't need adderall or you might need another drug.
>>745226>You should feel calmed on it at first. If you have any boost of energy or productivity when you're just starting it then you don't need adderall or you might need another drug.
Thanks for the info. I'll definitely keep it in mind when I go in for the followup.
I already have enough energy as is. I don't know if i'd survive if I had any more.
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No, I like my Vyvanse prescription. I don't really see the point since there's no "cure" for autism anyway. I might should I ever need the diagnosis for treatment.
Regarding ADHD medications: I hate
methylphenidate. It makes me really uncomfortable and turns me into an even bigger hermit. Vyvanse (and dextroamphetamine in general) was a revelation. Though this might not apply to ADHD anons who wouldn't consider themselves autistic.>>745326
Yeah, I'm in the same boat (see >>744388
), though I was diagnosed in my teens.
Have any of the autistic anons here tried MDMA? Rolling was the only time I felt like I could form real social connections. Now they're doing trials testing the effects of MDMA in autistic adults. Wish it didn't take so long… https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30196397/
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MDMA isn't addictive in the strict sense. I guess you can get addicted to anything if you put your mind to it, but MDMA will make you absolutely miserable if you take it several times in a row (talking about pure MDMA here, not pills with a bunch of different addictive amphetamines and research chemicals).
You're right though, neurotoxicity is a problem. That's why researchers are trying to extract derivatives that have the benefits without most of the health risks. However, you can also fry your brain with dextroamphetamine if you abuse your prescription…
Ik moids are all over /ot/ but I truly hope moids with autism aren't posting in here because they're on average so much worse than girls/women who also have autism diagnoses. I almost feel like they should be considered different disorders since men have stigmatized autism so badly yet behave so much worse. Boys and men are the ones whipping their dicks out and making a ruckus, and worst case scenario killing people while girls with autism are generally quiet but alienated from others afaik.>>749058
I have ADHD-PI and my main sensory issue is noise. I can't focus with noise in the background. For example: snoring while trying to sleep, clicking of a pen while trying to focus on work, tv noise, music, or something similar in the background while trying to focus.
ayrt, sorry for the super late response i haven't been on here much lately! and thanks for all the insight, a lot of what you said resonates with me and what i've struggled with throughout my life as well. looking back at childhood/ adolescence a second time with a new perspective really opened my eyes to all the different things that worked together to completely mask my underlying ADHD. i have the typical gifted program student is raised well/ does well as a child thing, and then slowly as i got older, had less of a strict schedule and more responsibilities that i had to accomplish on my own it became worse. it was so deeply hidden and the traits so normalized, or traits that were things i didn't speak out about enough (let alone realize were actual symptoms and not just me being "lazy" and "clumsy" and "quirky/ spacey"), that any neurodiversity beyond plain ol mental illness would have never even been a thought in my or my family's mind, like it's not that we dismissed the idea so much as it was just so far removed and misunderstood that it would never have entered our minds. it was masked by my (comorbid) depression diagnosis, by my being such a "talented" and "well behaved" little kid, by my good grades, by being a girl and an only child, by genuinely not knowing enough about what ADHD is except to compare it to our only real example of ADHD in my textbook hyperactive little boy cousin, by thinking i might have type II bipolar (lots of symptoms in common there), by an early childhood tragedy that made people pity me and assume that particular trauma (dad dying) was responsible for every single thing i came to struggle with. that part is complex but spotting the ADHD in hindsight is for the most part so incredibly clear that i'm shocked and pissed i didn't see what was right in front of me. when i first found out last month i was full on gatekeeping myself from rushing to any conclusions at first, but the more i get into the rabbit hole of research and reading about it, the more positive i am that i have it. i've never felt more sure of anything in my life, it feels like the one missing piece of a puzzle that i've been missing my whole life. i'm finally 100% convinced that it's not delusion or misconceptions or projecting or me wanting a diagnosis for shallow reasons r being stir crazy from quarantine; it's an ANSWER. like finally an answer that makes sense, that explains everything i've ever struggled with. reading other women's stories of late diagnosis felt surreal, like i was listening to a stranger describe my life story perfectly. I now know why I always felt like "the dumbest kid in the gifted class", why things no one cared about were a huge deal to me, why i always felt like an imposter pretending to be a normal human even at times in my life where i was happy and social. I know why depression treatments and therapy very very rarely worked. I know why i talk and think and get ideas and tell stories and type (….sorry) the way i do, why i feel and emote in strange/ extreme ways, why I'm great at some things and awful at others. so many things it's exhausting. there is not one symptom i've read since reading about ADHD that i don't have, and the very few i thought i didn't have i realize i actually do have mildly (like for example the public hyper impulsivity males tend to have - i learned to internalize mine because of how i was raised and socialized, and it would come out in weird ways as a result of all the energy/ emotion-bottling).
oh and funny enough, my mom and i both got ancestry DNA done a couple years ago (found out i was somehow almost every major ethnicity but that's a whole other topic of discussion haha) so i was able to access my zip file and input it to that genetic genie thing. WAYYY too sciency and wordy for me to comprehend the majority of the data, but i did skip around a little and see that i'm homozygous dominant for this serotonin/ ssri related gene which essentially hinders your ability to process serotonin/ your receptors are fucked up in the way that dopamine receptors are for adhd. there was nothing on dopamine but i don't think those genes were tested in the first place so who knows, i'd be really interested in finding out about it someday but i actually recently learned it runs in the family more than i thought, so i prob dont need to.
i finally opened up about this to my mom on the phone yesterday, even though we have a great relationship i was SO hesitant to do it until i could get an official diagnosis so that she wouldn't have unnecessary shit to worry about/ didn't want her to think i was crying wolf (i have a tendency to obsess over shit i'm convinced i have health-wise). but it kinda just spilled out and to my surprise she was not only happy to finally have an answer to my behavior, but she also has thought in the past that she might have a mild form of ADHD as well. which at first i was like HOW, we are such different types of people, but the more she explained and the more we told each other the more we actually had in common. she just was raised in a different time, under more dire circumstances that pushed her to have a strong enough drive to overcome getting tasks done (as evidenced by how well she managed to raise me and put me on a schedule) and so we have a few differences but like the main point is that it runs heavy on her side of the family. two of my maternal cousins have it (the male one i mentioned and also my oldest cousin who i was close to growing up, female, and i remember knowing she had ADD because my mom told me once but i never once thought about her having it until decades later now that i realize i have it too) so if she and i end up testing positive for it as well that's like… a whole third of that side of the family. she wants us both to get tested and i'm so relieved that i ended up telling her because idk, i feel like it'll be easier to get clearer answers with someone else supporting and going through the same thing.
anyway this is such a huge thing to find out about yourself and it's a lot to process and i could write mountains of text posts for hours if i wanted to but i hope that makes sense. i wouldn't care or be this spergy and passionate about it or even want to get diagnosed if it wasn't such an extremely severe and detrimental part of my life, which it is. i weirdly somewhat have lolcow to thank in a small way because hearing about executive dysfunction was what started this whole journey for me, i might have never realized the adhd otherwise for who knows how long. everyone who's talked about it on here has helped me immensely as well even if in small ways. i'm eager to find a treatment that works for me so i can finally tackle this shit and live my life the way i actually wanna live it!!! so here's hoping i get an actually knowledgable psych to evaluate me and that i'm able to find what meds, if any, will finally work for my fucky little brain>>749058
omfg i have an INSANE case of misophonia, i need my noise cancelling headphones and white noise just to function. idk whether it's gotten worse over the years or if it's just that i have the luck of moving to noisier and noisier places. urban street sounds combined with insomnia have brought me to tears at times because i was so frustrated at tiny things preventing me from getting sleep when i desperately needed it. same with trying to focus/ study/ hold convos and trains of thought. fireworks enrage me like to an autistic degree and i'm just ADHD lol. i like deeply hate myself for how much it triggers
me at times because i feel ridiculous, like i feel like those annoying little old ladies who call the cops on neighborhood kids for breathing
i also have a tendency to tear all the tags or any rough edges off the inside of my clothes because sometimes it genuinely hurts my skin to the touch, like as if i have the flu.
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AD(H)D is cringe.
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Social media really hurt people with autism especially expectation in social culture. The fact now there are going to be a sterotype about autism people is social whoring asshole. Pic related.
no but I’ve heard it doesn’t work for shit especially if you’ve already tried stimulants. It’s not a stimulant but a wakefulness promoting agent.
I was diagnosed as a kid (along with dyslexia) but didn’t start taking meds until I couldn’t keep up with the workload of AP classes in high school.
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That sounds terrible for your enamel! Try gum that’s sweetened with xylitol like Trident, it will help increase saliva production. Anything with xylitol will really help but be sure to keep it away from any pets you may have as it’s poisonous to them.
My jaw sucks so I’m not really supposed to chew gum and these are a lifesaver. They’re little disks that kinda adhere to your gums and dissolve slowly.
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I recently discovered that I have/had ADHD, and it's made a lot of things click and make sense.
I was diagnosed with depression/severe social anxiety and school refusal since I was 13 y.o. to 20 y.o, but the ADHD went under the radar because the depression/anxiety was so bad. My psych at the time did recognize that I had some sort of attention regulation issue, but didn't officially diagnose it as ADHD.
I definitely wish that I knew earlier because having stimulant medication back them would have helped a lot with the school refusal (I had severe anxiety over not having assignments done/not being able to face my peers and teachers, but had major difficulty focusing and getting my stuff done).
Now I'm 24 and I'm pursuing my BFA, I've gotten over the school refusal, anxiety, and depression but the ADHD still persists. It's really frustrating because now that I finally know what the issue is, it's so difficult to receive treatment where I am currently.
I have a state based insurance plan, but I'm attending school out of state so it's really fucking hard to find coverage here. I know that adderall works really well for me, but the regulations regarding licenses/insurance/controlled substances make it extremely difficult to get the proper treatment here. I don't want to have to pay out of pocket if I don't have to, but I will as last resort.
Does anyone have a similar experience or any advice they can offer? I would really appreciate it!
It's also been so comforting/validating to read everyone's experience here.
>Pic not related, just cute
Hey anon! I'm the anon you responded to, I'm so glad to see you have this realization. Sorry for the late response, I've been hyperfixating on other shit and haven't been on LC for a while. I love when other people look into the genes behind it bc no one else does haha.
Did you end up getting diagnosed or booking an appointment for a test? If you have to take a 'test' then just relax and don't overthink it. I know I REALLY wanted to be diagnosed after being bullied for so long and having such horrible self esteem about being stupid. I was scared that the test would come back normal and would say I didn't have it. If I didn't have ADHD then the only alternative explanation would have been some form of early dementia or brain damage. But just remain calm and don't overthink it. Just be honest. Women are so underdiagnosed with this condition that psychiatrists/psychologists should expect for women to come in later on with stories like ours to effectively balance out the gender bias that exists within the diagnosed ADHD populace. It sucks to realize how much it affected your life; I still am 'grieving' for lack of a better term because I feel like my life would have taken a different path had my parents intervened early instead of getting me treated with SSRIs that made my situational depression much much worse. >>759608>>763039
Seconding GoodRX, the prices are better than what my insurance would pay for at one point.
Also anon, if you don't mind, can you share where you've been reading other women's stories? I hate the ADHD subreddit so so much.
Here's one example of the fuckery on there. The other day I got a response that I was wrong in saying that people with ADHD should barely feel an effect on stimulants (or at least no 'euphoria') because "all methamphetamines give you euphoria". Euphoria? What the fuck? Maybe I'm assuming too much but some people just sound like straight up drug addicts on that subreddit. And like 70% of the subreddit is people who feel that their lack of motivation (which non-ADHD people have) is caused by undiagnosed ADHD and that once they get adderall prescriptions they'll self-actualize and show their genius that they've been hiding all along. It's such fucking bullshit.
I also fucking hate the posts that are like "first week on 5 mg adderall and I got so much done!" Either those people have a placebo effect or they don't have ADHD.
NARYT but there is r/adhdwomen
you're still going to get posts from "I'm undiagnosed but this subreddit speaks to me!!1" but at least it's women and you're free to talk about the misogyny of late diagnosis or other medical bullshit
This is my exact peeve with the adhd subreddits, both the main one and adhdwomen.
I know some people do get an instant lucky transformation from taking the first meds they try, I can't discount that I'm bitter and jealous of those people, but half of those "zomg glasses for my brain" posts sound like average stories of normal people doing speed.
I work so hard to just get by so reading about people just flying through things and thanking their magic pills makes me feel ten times more shit. We're on the same drugs but we are not the same.
Anyone having daily "euphoria" whilst they blitz through all their tasks is suspicious to me
I can't finish a single show though. Ik important tasks are what matters first but I was really hoping I could gain some control over my personal life or spare time.
I'm a NEET atm trying to learn a language at home. Do you all have any suggestions for trying to do something like this on my own? Medication has only helped with my dumb blonde moments like forgetting laundry in the washer and whatnot. When it comes to actually getting things done it's not much of an improvement unless I'm hyperfixating. And when I hyperfixate I don't notice anything in the background like my family leaving the house.
Weed can be a very slippery slope for some ADHD people but I find that being high makes it a lot easier for me to fully focus on watching something. >>749058
I have ASD and ADHD, sensory issues are definitely a key component of ASD. They're often seen as part of ADHD too, but I would say that ASD people tend to have more of them and they're more life-impacting.
I have a fuckload of sensory stuff that affects my life, one thing that I don't think most normies know about is issues with interoception, the sense of internal body processes. I have a poor appetite and I often feel very full after only eating a small amount and it's incredibly frustrating to not be able to eat as much as I need and want to. I've been underweight my entire life. I'm also hypersensitive to the feeling of my heartbeat which can be distracting/anxiety-inducing.
Another thing is needing to wear clothes that fit on my body in a certain way. I always need to wear bottoms that are tight-fitting, cover my entire leg, and are high waisted and hug my waist tightly. My shirts need to either be tucked in or cropped/tied up so they dont hang past my waist. Before I knew I was autistic I thought clothing related sensory issues always involved preferring loose clothing but I realized my clothing "rules" and tendency to dress the same every day were the same thing. I remember being privately very confused about why everyone else thought baggy sweats and pajama pants were comfortable.
I have ADHD-PI and had sensory issues as a kid with the seams of socks and shoes in general. I have to have a weighted blanket to sleep through the night and am very clumsy and am not good at telling exactly where my body is in space.
I also have poor auditory processing but not quite to disorder levels. I have a lot of trouble focusing on voices when there are multiple people speaking in the same room and have trouble telling what direction sound is coming from(not fun on crosswalks). I have to ask people to repeat things a lot, and let them think I just can't hear well. Masks have made this harder, I realized that I have a habit of looking at people's mouths when they talk to focus on them and it's much harder to follow voices and conversations when mouths are covered up.
Honestly I think people think I'm either half deaf or a bit retarded when they talk to me.
Calm down BPD-chan, just wait for the delusion of grandeur to hit and you feel like the gods gift to humankind again. BPD inherently has huge potential to laser focus and stay motivated, very effective against ADHD in short bursts. Use those manias well. Remember, you can become
the bitch of your imagination instead of just pretending and self-loathing.
I literally can’t understand anything you say no offense. Can you say it again but normally? >the gods gift to humankind again.
Sorry but you need more help than I do. Again? What?
I don’t know after reading it a few times I can actually relate somewhat..? I mean after crying for a few days or weeks I can feel a bit more relieved and motivated to continue. I do indeed lie to myself that I’m not as bad as people think that I’m or said that I am. Or that I can work on myself even if it’s true I lack a lot of necessities. I think the bpd in me as I am a psycho who selfharms when I lose control in my situations. Pretty bpd.
What’s the difference between adhd and bpd I think the symptoms overlap right?
This was a wild ride kek
What did you even find on Google translate that made you so mad?
Adhd and BPD are completely different things so you should Google that but to put it simply ADHD causes problems performing tasks, BPD instead gets in the way of how you relate to other people.
I don't think this thread can help with your specific problems, but it might help you to learn some "cognitive behavioural therapy" techniques>>769520
There there anon
Dunno actually, other anon needs to forgive my retardation as well. I thought they were saying I think that my shit doesn’t smell or something lol.
Yeah I know it doesn’t. I was just really “on the edge” I guess and needed to vent.
Honestly I’m retarded, to me the two looks a bit similar but perhaps it could be because there’s a high comorbidity right? I got that one right at least?
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any other spergs that have issues with self-harm? I used to cut very bad and i have horrible looking scars all over my thighs and upper arms which are fucking annoying more than anything. I've been under a LOT of stress from school and I've grown to hate the current states of things (I can't look at any news or social media without getting upset now). I'm not cutting anymore but I had a freak out yesterday and have been hitting/biting/scratching myself when I get frustrated. If my partner is home then it's usually fine bc I don't want to go apeshit when he's here if I can help it and he can help me calm down. I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice bc this is an issue I've been working on in therapy for so long. I just feel like such a retard for hurting myself as an adult and I have to live the rest of my life with a noticeably disfigured body.
So what are you saying that my ADHD diagnosis is botched and my symptoms aren’t real?
I do think my prescription is too high even at 5mg. I’ve thought about getting a pill cutter but haven’t bothered since my current job is pretty easy
You feel this way at 5 mg? That is really sus. If you like the rush of productivity then just keep with it and reap the benefits. But imo it sounds like you don't need stimulants or at least this drug. It sounds like whichever chemicals in your brain that it's targeting are already at a normal level and you're feeling euphoric (or different in general) because the chemicals are in excess.
You could try other stimulants or try non-stimulants. What were your symptoms before this? I won't question your diagnosis because ADHD is just a bunch of symptoms and doesn't have a set cause. But imo not all people who are diagnosed should be on stimulants because a lot of them end up getting the crackhead effect like what you're describing. The term ADHD can apply to a lot of people but there are categories within the ADHD populace who need stimulants vs who doesn't. The people who benefit from stimulants have ADHD likely caused by the lower than normal chemicals in their brain which is why they feel little to no effect on it. If your ADHD symptoms are not caused by low levels then you'll have symptoms that come with excess chemicals in the brain (i.e, euphoria, extreme productivity).
>>770370>I only take the medication once a week
This is the way.
I’ve been drugged up since I was 15 and have taken every ADHD med available for almost a decade.
I have stupid high tolerance to stimulants, I literally can not get high off cocaine. I went med-free for like 10 months, my life was in shambles long before that though.
Then I got back on Dexedrine last year but only take them as needed and what do you know, they’re effective again, I’m functioning!!! I saw anons on here suggesting cycling different medications to slow tolerance build up so I might try that as well.
This 100% but also>>770339
Wtf euphoric 5mg my fucking left foot get out of town with that shit
Any other stratteranons in da thread? >>746132
What criteria was used to make this chart & why is cannabis higher on this list than benzos? Weed addiction is a bitch for sure but I always assumed being hooked on klonopin or something would be way harder to get clean from.
I feel you anon, I'm fortunate that my self harm episodes have never been chronic but sporadic in response to extreme stress. When I was a teenager I cut myself and put alcohol on wounds to get more pain, but now in my early 20s I just hit myself in the head with objects because it doesn't require cleanup. I've broken a plastic plate, a wooden brush, and my phone all by hitting myself with them over the past covid hell year. A daily problem for me though is vividly fantasizing about hurting myself which is bad because it wastes time and keeps me in the suicidal mindset I need to get out of somehow.
I feel like a retard too but on another level it's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that normies see self harm as this insane unfathomable thing when it's really just an understandable part of the human experience albeit an extreme and pathological one. I try to not think like "my autistic experience is so fundamentally different from non-autistic people they could never relate" but it is true that a lot of people have no idea what it's like to not be able to calm yourself down at all and how helpful self harm can seem to deal with this. I don't really have advice, it's probably a bad habit but smoking weed helps me exit bad emotional states when I feel trapped sometimes.
>>770370> In people who don’t have ADHD, because Adderall produces an excess amount of dopamine, users may experience feelings of euphoria and increased energy levels, as well as possible dangerous physical and emotional side effects.https://www.leehealth.org/health-and-wellness/healthy-news-blog/top-trends/6-things-to-know-about-adderall
For people whose ADHD can be treated with Adderall:> These functions of Adderall have been shown to work well for people with ADHD because with the increase of these neurotransmitters there is an increase in their pleasure and feeling of reward when completing tasks. People with ADHD normally have been found to have a decrease in dopamine within their ventral striatum and prefrontal and temporal cortices within their brains (Lakhan & Kirchgessner, 2012). Adderall is able to increase these levels of dopamine, which effectively brings their dopaminergic system to a similar level of functioning that is present in people without ADHD. Thus, decreasing the inclination to be distracted and bringing them operationally to a level that society has determined to be a normal amount of focus (Volkow et al., 2012).
Normal people or people who might be diagnosed with ADHD but DON'T have lower than normal levels of dopamine/norepinephrine:> However, people with a normal level of focus and normal brain structures experience similar effects when ingesting Adderall. Elevating their feeling of pleasure, rather than purely stabilizing it, like in ADHD, can result in a euphoric and high feeling that can cause many to become addicted and seek out the drug without a prescription or physiological need. https://inifoundation.org/neuroscience-anthology-1/2019/4/29/the-widespread-reach-and-possible-physiological-effects-of-adderall
One thing that's helped me with motivation is the pomodoro technique. I didn't think it would be effective, but if you set a timer to work for 25 min without deviating from your task and follow it up with a 5 min break, it makes it a lot less daunting to get started. Those 25 minutes are a reasonable commitment because they go by pretty fast, you'd be surprised by how much brainstorming you can do in that time though. Taking 5 gives you just enough time to step away from your work so that you don't hit a mental wall. I'll even find that I'm actually looking forward to jumping back into the next 25 min because I have a train of thought going. Trying to change your attitude toward a project is the other aspect of this, I know some people benefit from basically convincing themselves that what they're working on isn't a chore but something they can find pleasure in, like the feeling you get from completing a puzzle. I also like to create a good ambience by making my work space as pleasant as possible (candles, cute furniture, plants, framed photos of loved ones near my desk, water and healthy snacks within reach). Ultimately it's all about creating better coping mechanisms. It's a challenge, but the fact that you can play an active role in improving your behaviour is empowering. Keep at it and it will pay off.
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I've been diagnosed with depression at 13, been on Prozac ever since (am 19). Mom is bipolar and sister has autistic symptoms but is a fucking scholar genius. I discovered the term ADHD after I saw people talking about their struggles with it and finding it very relatable and turns out I tick all the cases. Finally another possible cause for me suffering at school and work and with relationships other than "you're shy/not scholar" or depression (that is already being treated). But everytime I try to talk abt it with my psychiatrist, he just lowers it at me "not trying to concentrate enough", "being a procrastinator", "lack of rest" or just "depression symptoms". He said that he's not super into giving medication so even if I was diagnosed it prolly would stop here too. Should I change psychiatrist? Any tips for being diagnosed quicker and being taken seriously?
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I am going to get assessed for autism at 23 years old. Can anyone here tell me what it's like?
I always felt like anxiety/depression never described how I felt. I was a weird kid. I learned how to read early, lined up objects, and was very bossy. I was told that people thought I hated them because of my flat tone and directness. My mom wanted me to be the perfect child so I think she kind of forced me into that mold. Nowadays, I can mask, but some autism symptoms really resonate with me. It is exhausting to perform facial expressions and make eye contact. I have only had autistic male friends since middle school… I seem to repel women platonically. My emotions are a mystery to me and therapists, I was sent to DBT despite having "only anxiety". I also have sensory problems such as certain fabrics or foods.
There are some autism things I don't relate to, though. I don't have special interests, and I do understand sarcasm. It feels like I was years behind others socially, and only now can I function. I'm nervous that those things would disqualify me, even though they are apparently common in autistic women. /blog
ayrt again, gotta love how textbook ADHD it is for us both to constantly reply to each other so late every time lol. anyways I was officially diagnosed and put on a new treatment plan yesterday! it was by a PA and i believe to make it official official i would still have to see a psychologist, which i plan on doing, but i'm honestly just really grateful to finally feel validated, i don't have to feel that imposter syndrome "you're just lazy you don't have this" guilt. i'm picking up my new meds tomorrow, she halved my wellbutrin dose (it was prob too high for me to begin with) and is pairing it with non-stimulant adhd meds (effexor i think? and propanalol) to start out and see how i react to that combined with adhd coaching and glycine for sleep problems. the evaluation felt pretty honest and natural and i mesh well with the PA, when I see a psychologist i feel like I'll be able to articulate my thoughts a little better though. also my mom got diagnosed last month!
the adhd subreddits are hit and miss for me and i don't lurk unless it happens to pop up on my feed, r/adhdwomen is a little better usually. i've read accounts from lots of random places, like twitter threads, youtube videos, random forums that came up from googling very specific concerns, that kind of thing. the fact that almost all of it felt like reading about my own life gave me a little more confidence that I was right about having adhd and i'm grateful to have researched it now that it's confirmed. i haven't come out with it publicly yet, not like i need to but it's rare for me given my annoying oversharing social media presence/ brand lol. i also haven't told my friends with adhd and ocd yet which i guess hints that I still have some insecurities to work through, but then again i JUST found out so i know i'll tell my close circle eventually.
Glad to hear it. I don't suggest posting about it on social media that has either your face or name. ADHD can be used against you by other people. Plus there are so many people even on r/ADHD who have had their stimulant drugs taken by friends/family/randos because they told other people they take the meds. Ik you aren't on those (yet, potentially) but generally it's good to just keep it between people who are close to you.
I hope the drugs they gave you will work for you! I've taken all of those medications before. But I won't give my testimonial just out of courtesy because I think how you perceive the meds to work can affect the treatment effectivity at least a bit. Good luck!!
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My coordination is terrible. I learned to tie my shoes and dress myself later than other kids, I also started bathing myself much later, which is very embarrassing now that I think about it. I wasn't able to learn to ride a bike and now I'm in my 20s and I'm too ashamed to even try. Understandably, no one ever wanted to pick me for their team during PE lessons because I was so terrible and clumsy. My hand coordination got better over time, I'm good at playing guitar and drawing, but I still drop objects randomly, and everything involving other parts of my body is still terrible and I have no awareness of space at all. Terrible fear of heights too, I get all shaky even when I have to stand on a chair in order to reach for something. Sucks that I'm stuck with public transportation forever because learning how to drive a car or how to ride a bike is probably beyond my reach. There's so many things I'd like to learn, like skateboarding or horse riding, but I know my body is too retarded to handle those activities. I'm always either stiff or shaky, there's no in-between
I have a shitload of other autistic symptoms, but I just got reminded about my bad coordination and decided to vent about it
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Do any other ADHD anons have issues fully connecting to others while dating? I've dated a decent amount of men and pretty much all but one (who had dx'd ADHD) I felt like there was this invisible barrier that I couldn't break through. No matter how much I talked to them or was open there was just something that didn't click fully. We got along but the chemistry just wasn't there. Obviously there are a lot of other factors when it comes to compatibility but I've noticed that the friends and people I've dated who I connect the most with are usually on this spectrum kek.
High functioning autistic woman here who is a medical student
>Why is it so difficult to be diagnosed as a woman?
I find parents in my country tend to be extremely neglectful towards daughters mental health, most women I know never got diagnosed or properly cared for their mental health until suicide attempts or it was obvious to others so the family was forced to get help
>When did you find out you were autistic/had adhd and when did you get your diagnosis?
At 19, was referred to get tested for it about 3 times from 16-19
>What are your autistic/adhd behaivors?
Repeative eating habits, song listening, hard to communicate, (sometimes) I have no filter, zooming through tests especially math tests, hypersexuality, extremely sensitive and have to brush my hair with a certain brush, but I also orgasm very easily, extreme shyness to the point where I have my boyfriend order everything, pay, etc do things that require social interaction. I also have a lot of "childish" quirks and collect a lot of animals and have a fascination with various cultures and books
You sound really similar to me anon.
My fear of heights/falling makes me scared to walk down steep hills or go down escalators.
I'll probably never learn to ride a bike for various reasons but you should know that riding a bike is very different from driving. Everyone is different of course but I was really worried that I wouldn't be able to drive because I never learned how to ride a bike as a kid but I was able to learn without too much difficulty although I still have some anxiety and limitations. I actually usually enjoy driving now. It's okay to go as slow as you want to with learning.
I also learned how to tie my shoes late and now in my 20s I really want to learn how to make a simple braid but it's so hard lmfao
that often happens to me when having to make a choice yeah. especially when choosing an outfit, that can take like 40 min.
not diagnosed (parents didn't believe in it) but pretty sure i'm adhd-adjacent.
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Yeah I have a massive problem with this. Difficulty with transitions or stopping an activity is definitely an ADHD thing. It's like how it's often difficult for ADHD people to start things. Difficulty with decisions is also an ADHD thing. Both of these are forms of executive functioning which is impaired/disregulated in ADHD.
I wish I knew any coping mechanisms for this but I really don't, even though it's been an issue my whole life, I hate how much time I waste and I feel so out of control sometimes.
It's like the sims where your sim has their queue of actions in the upper left corner, but sometimes it just gets deleted or it glitches and doesn't let you add or delete anything from it
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Yes kek, I take 15-20 mins every evening during free time to think what needs to get done the next day. This includes studying, work, chores and leisure time. I write it all down and figure out what's urgent, what can wait, if there's anything I've been putting off etc. Then I just write out the hours of the day and assign each hour a task. Doesn't necessarily need to be a different one but having a perceived time limit helps me to not get distracted. If it's simpler I'll give myself less time. If it's more complicated I'll further break it down into smaller, more manageable bits. Lastly I decide what I want to do after I'm done with work/studying and I just write down whatever comes to mind first or use the random # thing.>>784011
Of course, so basically for me it's important to have some things to structure my day around. There's no in person classes and work is closed so I just keep lunch, dinner and dog walking times the same each day. My typical schedule when I just have to study would be something like pic rel. There's a ton of guides online that will probably be more helpful as this is my covid/no work routine. It's very specific and strict but basics would be: separate day into time for work, time for chores and time for rest. Make plans on what to watch/read/play ahead. Have the plan visible at all times. Don't beat yourself up if you fuck up and just keep going. If you didn't solve x task in an hour drop it and work on something else to prevent getting stuck and spiraling. I hope this is something lol
It's really not easy when you're able to do well in school (common in male and female autists) and your parents don't care about anything else besides that. Unless your parents give a shit, absolutely no one will care about anything you're struggling with if you're quiet and unobtrusive and get good grades. I've met several undiagnosed male autists in college.
The first time I tried to get a consultation for an autism assessment, I was trying to tell the (older male) psych about masking constantly, needing to force eye contact, speech, tone of voice, facial expressions because I didn't want people to dislike me or think I didn't care about them, and how this had never gotten better with practice/exposure, and he told me that autistic people didn't care about what other people thought of them.
And in the US the issue of having health insurance is another matter entirely.
I'm in my 30s and I hate having to start a new job. Training is easy because working in a restaurant is easy. It's always the same. It's the social navigation that must happen, of course, that's the worst.
Gotta try extra hard to make eye contact and acknowledge other people and not just go hyperfocused on tasks right away. I have enough life experience to know that I'll get quickly labeled a snob or a "bully" (it's happened before when I don't take extra, super care to be extra, super nice to the teens/early 20s … some of the young 'uns interpret my straightforward communication style as bullying).
I have to be like this long enough to make people NOT hate me. Then, when I have earned everyone's trust as a good worker and not too much of a weirdo, I can let my guard down and just let myself to hyperfocused and be efficient like I want to do. Problem is, this will take months to get to, and is exhausting.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
This a huge reason why I'm really anxious about getting a job out of college. When I was in school I could literally not interact or talk to anyone outside of structured class activities and it had zero bearing on how my performance was measured. But everyone I try and express my worries to brushes me off with like "you're smart you'll be fine".
I'm really worried about not being able to recognize people right away when I start a job.
I already suffered in school every moment anyway… no matter how much these people claimed to know about autism, they could not help me in any way with anything but telling me how autistic I was and mocking me for it, plus my mother is fucking crazy.
And these days the people being diagnosed with autism is a bunch of rich people who are actually able to function living alone(I can’t) doctorshopping until they get their precious diagnosis, and they just feel better because people tell them how autistic they are, and they all of a sudden make a YouTube about how special they are because they are SOOO AUTISTIC, but they just say the symptoms are whatever they feel it is, then they start “stimming” all of a sudden when they didn’t before, and then they make fake as fuck advertisement videos for stimming products, I didn’t need any of that bullshit, I just needdd to suck my thumb. Maybe a low functioning autistic would need a weighted blanket, but now any random person is buying weighted blankets for no reason.>>785659
Making eye contact at an early age because you chose to becuase you wanted people to like you is not autistic.
Autistics would not care about that, this is how autistics get diagnosed, because they show symptoms and won’t conform. Conformity is not autistic, it’s NPC. I only ended up making more eye contact as I grew older becuase adults would grab me and make me do eye contact. Btw I was diagnosed with classic autism, and I promise you, doing shit at school effects you more than getting good grades does….
Also during summer especially I’m doing weird ass eye and face twitches or closing my eyes all the time.
One time it go so bad I was blinking to constantly and it made the top of my eyeballs red and raw.
Anyone have a valid
autism test link?
Here's one my med therapist lady idk mad early me take for add/ADHD https://addtypetest.com/
Before I got prescribed meds I found the simplest things impossible to do and I would lose shit constantly. I was quickly irritated by my dad but now I feel like I have the patience to be talk to him. I am still lowkey behind on chores but as soon as I find the time I'll definitely get organized.
I wasn't trying to say that being good at school is a burden or worse than not being good at school. It's definitely not and I didn't mean to come across as comparing my experience to yours. I was explaining why I disagree with your original post. I'm not asking you or anyone to feel bad for me or give a shit about my problems, I'm just saying other people have a different experience than you.
I didn't say I forced myself to make eye contact at an early age. I learned masking very slowly starting in high school because I was suicidally depressed in my teens from being completely alone and not knowing how to interact with people and honestly I'm still terrified of ending up alone in life. I still don't try very hard with eye contact, just enough to get by. I realize it's a privilege to be able to mask at all but masking is a heavy burden and it doesn't make someone not autistic.
I agree that social media seems overrun with autistic "advocates" or "creators" who make shitty content and aren't well informed. I wish the public's understanding of autism wasn't abysmal.
It’s some new bogus term recently invented like the concept of “special interest” all to water down what autistic means even more.
Autism is about what someone actually does, and is not about how people “feel”.
anon i tried this the past 3 days and it helped me tremendously, so thank you for sharing this!! sadly my plans got fucked up a little because my roommate was home and she's super chatty so i kept running behind on my schedule. it worked out in the end, though.
i went on walks in the mornings and evenings and stayed "presentable" the whole day so getting ready to go out didn't feel like too much of a chore. this morning i didn't go out because i was too tired and my feet and legs hurt (i'm a fatty who isn't very active so ofc sudden activity would have that effect) but i plan on going on a walk this evening and then continue this routine next week. it really feels good to be active at least an hour a day (outside of pacing around my room all the time) and getting my work done. the reminders also help because i know i'm only "wasting" like an hour or two on something and if i don't finish it, i can just continue the next day. i also noticed that i have so much time during the day when i don't bum around so i decided to order a text book for language learning too.
sorry for all the blogging, i'm just really happy that this had such a positive effect on me and my studies. i also feel much calmer and not as wired anymore? before that i used to try multitasking everything and i'd end up so stressed and constantly fucked up everything.
IR gave me too many side effects, I was crying all the time and was super irritable.>>785546
How are you feeling on Vyvanse 30mg? I'm just wanting to know what "working well" might look like. I think in the grand scheme (over the course of months) I'm doing better (like I've picked up my language learning again, finished the book I took months to read on/off, started writing again) but I still have hyperactive moments, have no idea what's going on around me when I'm doing something, don't listen in conversations, etc. In regards to productivity I might have to take >>784131
anon's advice. I always tell myself I'm going to make a schedule or plan out my day but never do it. In the past I've never been able to be consistent with a planner, idk if anyone has any suggestions. I'm not even good with journaling, mood tracking, or even my period tracker kek.
sage for word vomit but oh my god i'm so fucking annoyed. i just aged out of my fam's insurance so it was going to be expensive no matter what but man i really did my research finding the best possible resources in my area so i could finally get a proper ADHD diagnosis, the place i went with had great reviews and were even CHADD recommended. one appointment with the psychiatrist was a few hundred even with sliding scale and at the time I thought it went really well because she was nice and confirmed that I have it, but this particular doctor doesn't "believe" in prescribing stimulants for any reason, she put me on a mixture of meds including effexor instead, which (didn't know at the time) can be an extreme med to be on and especially hard to withdraw from. it's not even traditionally FOR adhd so there wasn't a guarantee it would help the most important thing i need help with. the last couple weeks have been a huge waste of time and energy. i was heavily fatigued, nauseous, more stuck than usual and also developed intense, empty, heavy depression which i haven't struggled with much since like 2019. it GAVE me depression and made my adhd worse, my anxiety was only gona because i stopped caring about anything. i told them i was quitting their plan because i physically can't take being on effexor and only a couple weeks later i'm finally feeling good again on my regular meds, the withdrawals took forever and i was only on the lowest dose. i just recently made the connection that the reason my doctor has a stigma against stimulant meds is prob because their treatment center doubles as a rehab facility so they're like, anal about anything thought of as "addictive". i don't have an addictive personality and adderall works for my mom and cousins and ADHD is ruining my life way more than anxiety/ depression but they don't care, they're not budging on it and it's so discouraging because it took me a LOT of effort just to call and get treated after months of putting it off, only for my own doctor to have the same stigma/ misunderstanding of ADHD treatment that so much of the public does.
it's fine though. i don't have time to go back to them and risk them trying to put me on even more antidepressants because i'm going on a trip next week so i just looked into those Ahead/ Done companies and set up a quick online appointment in a couple days, it's cheaper and more ADHD focused so hopefully they'll be more understanding this time. i'm just frustrated that i went out of my way to find doctors that would understand and listen to me and couldn't even get that right.
…also if you're reading this and are about to go on effexor for literally any reason DON'T DO IT. TRY SOMETHING ELSE FIRST. or at least make sure you do a lot of research on it beforehand if it's a last straw med for you. i still can't believe my PA didn't give me a single warning about the extreme side effects, even knowing that i'm particularly sensitive to anti-depressant side effects.
I started using a planner back in November and it has helped a lot. I just took an old notebook and turned it into a planner by dividing every page into 8 squares and adding the date above every square(I use the last square as a "notes" section) It's the most basic thing ever but it really helped.
Having the whole week on one page helps me visualize stuff better because I see everything at once, I probably would have ditched a planner with one page per day fast since it doesn't give a "general" view.
Making it myself also makes me more aware of how much time I have left for stuff that is planned a long time in advance, since I make every page one by one. (rn it's week 16 of the year, I have prepared pages up until week 32)
If you're crafty or just like to customize stuff it's a great way to also stay "engaged" in it, you're less likely to drop a handmade planner you put effort in than a plain one from a random store (and that's true for anyone really, not just people with ADHD). Hope you'll find something that works for you anon !
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I got diagnosed with autism a few days ago. I don't exactly know how to feel about this, are there any academic or research journals/books/essays that are a must-read on autism?
Have any ADHD anons had success with doing cognitive behavioural therapy in addition to taking medication? I have problems with communicating my emotions when I'm in a crisis situation, for example if I'm in an argument with someone it's very difficult to develop the kind of rational train of thought that would lead to a productive discussion.
I've struggled with emotional intelligence for years and only recently come to realize that it's connected (at least to some extent) to ADHD. Tried CBT in the past but now that I'm on meds I think it will be a lot more effective. It would be great to hear some insight from anyone with similar experiences. >>784131
I've been working on structuring my time but I didn't think to make a detailed schedule like this, it makes so much sense. Thanks for sharing an example anon.
I'm not well versed in it and I've never actually done the full program you're supposed to do but I think you should look into DBT. It's not just for BPD, it's helpful for anyone wanting to deal with their emotions in a better way. I also think mindfulness which is a core part of DBT is SUPER helpful for ADHD in general.
Just being exposed to the core ideas of it really helped me. And if you really want to throw yourself into it there are workbooks you can do without necessarily seeing a therapist.
Late but I wanted to add something I recently realized as an autist who can drive but can't bike. Another thing that makes learning to drive easier is that you're probably already used to the sensation of being in a car. As a kid the sensation of trying to bike was really scary and overwhelming and I couldn't get used to it while also trying to balance and pedal at the same time. >>586664>>586668
This is also super late but for me eye contact usually feels too intimate and emotionally intense. It varies though, the more comfortable I am with someone the easier it is, but it's always kinda hard. Weirdly, if I'm farther away from someone or in dim lighting it helps.
I also have a huge amount of anxiety about how much I should be looking at people in general, not just eye contact, because it feels intrusive and I don't want to accidentally stare, but obviously it's also important for socializing and letting people know you're interested in the interaction.
>>800536>Adderall XR helps my ability to focus on a task and 'lock in'
So the med is working.>it's hard to get myself to be structured or planned
It’s entirely a self-discipline matter. Stims do nothing for executive dysfunction tbh. Hyperfixation will always be a problem. You should practice pomodoro method at shortened intervals to avoid getting locked in. It trains your brain to deny that obsessive “can’t stop” feeling.
IR was my first and I switched to XR because of the side effects on IR.
I think what both of you said is right, the medication has limited effects even at its best BUT because I've read so many "magic pill that will fix everything" stories I wanted to think that I would have the same outcome. I was hoping at least that I'd stop having blonde moments but there's been little to no improvement in that regard.
I need to get into Pomodoro so thanks for that reminder. Is there an app or program that you prefer for it?
ntayrt but I think a big reason why there's this idea that stimulants for ADHD are "magic pills" is because oftentimes kids/teens start them when they're in school, which already provides tons of structure and direct goals and tasks to work on, and discipline. This makes it much easier to see a sudden improvement. Adult life doesn't have all that stuff given to you and so you still have to figure out how to make it for yourself, along with what strategies work for you personally. I'm still trying to figure that out myself. I think stimulants are really helpful but they're only one piece.
I struggle with executive function hugely so I can say you're not alone, it's a scary and frustrating thing to deal with.
I had a frowning/hard blinking tic that started a few years back. I was in a less than great relationship at the time and so I wasn't very relaxed even in my own home. Noticed that within a few months of us splitting and me settling into a new home it eased off and is essentially gone now.
Eliminating stress through a couple of lifestyle changes seemed to be the key.
good luck anon
hopefully you'll get the help you're looking for
Anon, you're female, not a pedo and you have nothing in common with those freaks.
I do find the differences between autistic males vs autistic females pretty interesting overall. From what I heard from other women and girls on the spectrum is that we're expected to be well-behaved from an early age and boys are allowed to act like apes because that's the "masculine" thing to do. Also special interests that autistic females could have aren't really as noticed as much compared to autistic males.
It's kind of ironic I went from being one of those kids who made fun of the autistic boys in class who showed the more stereotypical traits of ASD (with one of them unironically naruto running and wrapping a blanket around their hand so they can larp as Sonic the Werehog) to being formally diagnosed a few years ago. I find it sad that these days when people think of someone who's Autistic it's a boy like the type I just mentioned or god damn Sheldon from big bang theory.
>I pass ok so I just don't say it.
A lot of people will say to me "but you don't look/seem Autistic" and my personal opinion on that is that people only remember the most cliche stereotypes with Autism and unlike Autistic boys who got to be diagnosed at an early age I wasn't and I have standards to follow, they don't. Personally I don't mind being open with the fact that i'm Autistic even though I easily pass as being neurotypical because otherwise people will still have the same shitty image of Autistic guys like Chris-chan when they think of ASD.
>Why are males with asd so likely to be these oversharing fap-happy perverts?
When guys have people shielding them with "boys will be boys" used to excuse their shitty behavior autistic guys also have that just x10 stronger and applied for a lot longer. People allow guys with ASD to be obnoxious perverts with no social skills because it'd "ableist" to expect them to be anything more than that. They're the reason why autistic women and girls wouldn't start being properly diagnosed until recently and why there's such a pathetic reputation of ASD in general
So sorry for the late response but this is a perfect answer. More people need to hear it, maybe post it on ADHD women!!
I've noticed that I'm probably locking into tasks for too long. Usually nothing productive but moreso unproductive stuff like gaming. But a few days ago I spent like three hours fixing my CV and skipped dinner in the process. I don't feel any sort of high but I don't know if this might be a sign that my dose is too high?
I'm an adhdfag but I feel so hard for you ladies, I want to give you a hug. Women with autism deserve to have it classified as a separate illness entirely. The fact that the condition just ~happens~ to present differently in rapist/murder/stalker men vs quiet and socially impaired women is such bullshit. That's not a gendered difference, that's a whole ass different continuum. The medical community should realize that the stigma courtesy of autistic men is probably a contributing factor as to why women aren't being diagnosed with autism despite women having it as well.
Hell I get annoyed enough hearing adhd men complain about adhd when the majority of them were diagnosed at a very young age and don't have as many self-esteem issues as female adhd sufferers bc of it.
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It seems to be a pretty common trait that Autistic people are also asexual or just generally have a very low sex drive
I had an active sex life in my early twenties and then around my mid twenties I stopped wanting any sort of sexual contact. I have a healthy drive for solo play but it's almost a sensory thing for me. Getting up close with people is just too much. I got a late diagnosis of asd so it took me years to figure out where the sudden 'intimacy issues' came from. I'm one of those women who held it together and went under the radar for way too long so I think in my case my once active sex life was me pushing myself to fit norms. I hit a point where (in lots of ways) I just stopped masking and imitating norms. Got burnt out from it.
I think sensory issues are behind alot of asd womens lack of interest in sex. Alot of the time attraction is there if you're looking at someone on a screen but you don't want to actually fuck someone irl. You can enjoy a fantasy but you don't want the reality of it. That seems to be a common thing.
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Fuck, you described me, even to the part where I was pushing myself to be sexually active as a young adult, but lost interest for it mid-twenties, and liking fantasies but not touching actual men. I don't have a diagnosis though.
This is such an obvious logical conclusion that I can't believe it needs to be said. Do anons in this thread actually think shit like >>813553
gives the concept of asexuality any legitimacy? All it does is make it less credible because it's so prevalent in people with diagnosed issues.
I've been feeling this so badly today but also I just realised my pill is still on my nightstand
Fucking shit for brains
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Tbf the best solution seems to be those pillboxes with the days like pic related since putting it out the night before is still something you might forget to do, and then you'll not know if you took it that day or if you just forgot to put it out.
It works for me though because I put out my clothes the night before too and I put everything in the same place so if I'm not wearing clothes I know I also didn't put out a pill. I don't trust morning-me with anything.
I only got diagnosed 2 years ago and I remember my (soon to be ex) partner being cruel about it. We were on the rocks already so anything was fair game I guess. I felt like an actual tard for a while. We split but his shitty opinion on tists stuck with me. My confidence just tanked.
One day I was recommended a channel on youtube. The woman was autistic but it wasn't obvious at all. I went on to watch a whole bunch of different female asd youtubers and overall they came across well. I respected them, I didn't think they were defective or dumbed down by it and all the hurtful phrases my ex had used stopped repeating in my head after that.
Do any autist anons here identify with being hyperempathetic?
I hate that empathy as a concept has been so misconstrued and degraded in cultural discourse in recent years, because I wish I could talk about being hyperempathetic and how it affects me but there's no way I wouldn't come across as deluded and narcissistic and I have NO desire to align myself with the whole "empath" thing.
Here's the thing: empathy isn't the magical ability to know how someone else is feeling. It's impossible to have any comprehension of what someone else is truly thinking and feeling. This is just the human condition. We can only go off of what they communicate to us and our interpretation of it, which is ALWAYS limited by our personal experience. This is where a lot of autists have issues because we struggle with social cues and reading emotion, and because we tend to feel differently about things than most people do. (idk about autists who struggle with feeling empathy at all, not my lane)
When I say I'm hyperempathetic, I don't mean that I'm actually better than most people at understanding how someone else is feeling. I mean that I feel empathy very often and intensely, sometimes in situations where it's not warranted and where it impairs my functioning, but it's empathy based off of my experience. So basically, I struggle with feeling like everyone else is as hypersensitive and weird as I am. And I've learned enough to know this is not the case, but I can't just turn it off.
I worry that by saying that I'm hyperempathetic people will assume that I think I know exactly how they're feeling all the time, and I hate that, because that's so arrogant and it's important for everyone to recognize the limits of empathy.>>813517
I appreciate you saying this anon as someone who has a lot of anxiety about the assumptions people would make about me if they knew I'm autistic.
I don't care about autism being the label for men and women, I just really fucking wish that people would understand that men and women are inherently different.
That sounds similar to what I experience. I'll get these incredible bursts of empathy and emotion overwhelming me at random. I daydream a lot and I'd say multiple times at week at minimum I'll be occupied with something else, think about something sad fictional thing and within 30 seconds my eyes are welling up and my heart starts to sink if I let myself go much longer.
A lot of it is just based on fiction since I don't get out much. I craft all these worlds in my head, then I drift towards any kind of scenario that involves despair or loss and I feel overwhelmed very quickly. I don't know how much of my own life has impacted that, my only major trauma has been with my dad's slow health decline my entire health and eventual passing earlier this year, but watching some of the worst shock videos, like the one of that brick falling from a truck and killing a mother in the car behind on impact, hearing her family screaming and howling, I can't control myself, I feel like I just watched my own mom die and have to turn it off immediately. There's this distinct pitch to a real scream and not acting that sets off some primal terror in me.
I don't know. Right now my chest is trembling just writing this post thinking about all this. Thank you for making this post, I've never actually written down how all this makes me feel and I hope it makes sense.
I'm the anon you replied to, no problem! I saw an article and I'm now considering whether I might have ASD in some way.
I've never considered it because I've only seen people with ASD who have very monotone voices with little visible emotion on their faces (stereotypical I know). Whenever someone makes a comment that my behavior seems autistic I immediately discredit it because of that stereotype as I'm a very sensitive person who shows lots of emotional expression. I can't control my facial expressions which for instance means that I can't lie convincingly. I also have such strong reactions to things on impulse like you said because I relate it back to something I've been through. I think I actually am empathetic though EXCEPT I did go through teenage years with no empathy and I assumed I was a sociopath. I have no idea how I turned around tbh. My psychiatrist has known me for less than a year and she says that I'm likely a Highly Sensitive Person which can just be a thing without ADHD/ASD on its own but I've been wondering if it has to do with my ADHD or possibly ASD if I have that as well.
I guess one thing I should ask you all is if there's something that rules someone out as definitely not being on the spectrum vs being on the spectrum. I know ADHD can seem similar to ASD and I really identify with quite a few of the things on this list. Ik it's outdated but it's pretty comprehensive.https://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/
I guess how I came to questioning whether I have ASD is because of recent events. First of all, I have an ongoing project that has been deemed 'autistic' by autists who come across it. Second, I have moments where I say something and apparently it's inappropriate. Like recently I was at the zoo, my dad said something about kids, and I said something like "I don't want kids, they're too expensive" to which my family was embarrassed over bc I said it kind of loud on accident. Kids ARE expensive though so idg why that's so bad to say. It just means that your parents love you so much that they'd rather forgo all of the opportunities that they would have had if they hadn't had you. But I didn't get a chance to add that kek, whatever. Lastly, I guess I just feel annoying in general. I like to go to see animals a lot (zoos, aquariums, pet shops, etc) and I'm always one to be super loud with AWWW or at least show a lot of expression because I get so excited seeing them. I'm now in my early 20s so I get looks like I'm purposefully trying to be annoying because I'm so loud and reactionary at times when I see something that makes me react. I hate knowing that I'm annoying but not knowing whether this is my personality or if it could be something more. Either way I've always felt like two different people between one who is super naive and 'cute' and someone who is strictly analytical and loves strategizing/planning things. Does any of this seem similar to ASD? I swear I wouldn't care if I didn't have such a complex about how my personality has undermined me.
Also just for reference I was an easy crier as a kid.
Lastly, I wanna note that the only people ik who unironically talk about empaths are always some cluster B, 95% of the time they've got major NPD.
It was too extreme of an example, you're right. I wrote that post quickly before bed. To elaborate more, I break down in general seeing or imagining any kind of distress or pain, the severity of it usually not meriting my response. Hearing children scream in public and their parents yelling back, I start crying almost immediately and feel horrendous. Hearing cats or dogs whimper or yelp, especially if it's because of something I did, is gut-wrenching. These feelings linger with me for hours or days after the inciting incident and I get lost in my own world so easily. When my friends are upset or hurting, even over minor things, my brain is dredging up every instance of it in the past and amplifying it.
I feel like there is some overlap with sensory issues for me at least. I usually end up either acting overbearing towards someone and not helping the situation or withdraw completely. It's really fucked up my ability to get close to people and I fear I come off as self-absorbed to them.
Are you under 21 anon? Ofc it's not possible to diagnose anyone through a post but the impression that I get from yours and your writing style is that you're just exploring your personality and maybe a little self obsessed as you mentioned
which everyone goes through, especially the part about feeling fragmented into different cliche personality types
Getting carried away with emotions is also pretty normal, if anything it's a feminine stereotype
I'm the first anon here >>817111
. Sorry if i seemed like I was trying to get diagnosed, I just wanted to clear up if the things that annoy me most about my social ineptitude and the things that contrast the stereotypes of autism that I have in my mind are deal breakers.
I'm 23 also, so no not under 21. Do I sound younger? Damn that's embarrassing but also one of my fears rip
If you do end up getting a official diagnosis, remembered that autism works on a spectrum, you're an individual and that you were socialized differently from most men ( poster picture of autism) and most people who had early diagnosis for better or for worse.
Good luck anon.
Thanks, I decided that I'm gonna go to therapy anyways and I'll ask about it there. If it isn't autism then I could prob be diagnosed with avoidant pd as well kek.
For the farmers with autism who sought out to get diagnosed as adults, what made you want to get diagnosed?
Do what you are comfortable with, I mean self-diagnosing is confusing and a therapist may be able to help put you in proper programs to deal with social or behavioral issues you might have, but like >>818946
said, autism is a spectrum and you are an individual. It doesn't mean you are anything like the person who caused you trauma.
If you feel it may be damaging to your mental health over all I wouldn't though.
The benefit for me was being able to understand myself more and look towards things to help me cope with the rage of feeling retarded.
Speaking of that, has anyone tried loop or other high-fidelity ear plugs to help with overstimulation/misiphonia etc. I just don't want to wear headphones all the time.
Thanks anon. I can't afford therapy the diagnosis might be useless anyway; I saw my psych 3 times and a therapist once in a single year, two years ago. The last time I talked to my psych was about autism, and she asked me whether or not I wanted friends. I said yes, in which she promptly replied it's likely I don't have it because "people on the autism spectrum don't want friends." I flatly told her that was a misconception. I have two diagnosed friends with large social groups. Just because I suck at socializing and would prefer to be alone, doesn't mean I don't want to have someone I can fall back on on share things with. I'm so worried I could genuinely be on the spectrum and not get diagnosed because so many professionals don't understand it themselves. I have read many high functioning aspies required at least 2-3 professionals before they got diagnosed. I don't have those kind of resources.
>therapy given to young autistic children to try to make them stop showing autistic behaviors
In some regards I am thankful I was not diagnosed in childhood (but I still had to hide symptoms regardless bc I had abusive
Just because you can't afford therapy doesn't mean you can't make changes in your life in light of realizing you're autistic that will make things better. Honestly doing research online and thinking about what you struggle with might be more productive than going to a therapist who doesn't understand HF autism.
I wish I had time to go into more detail but one thing I've been working on is changing my wardrobe to only have clothes I'm comfortable in and not pressuring myself to not dress the same all the time because I realized how much stress I could save myself. Another thing is trying to find ways to reduce the sensory pressure of self care tasks I struggle with like showering and skincare, but this really depends on what bothers you and what you struggle with personally. Thinking about things from a sensory perspective in general has changed a lot for me.
Also there's not a lot of discussion about stimming in this thread but exploring that and allowing myself to do it more freely to a certain extent has helped as well. >>825077
I just ordered earplugs from Flare Audio that are supposed to dampen irritating/overstimulating frequencies without blocking any sound. I'll definitely drop a review here when I get the chance to.https://www.flareaudio.com/products/calmer
I don't have as many noise issues as a lot of autistic people do but I often get to a point where conversation and TV noise makes me very anxious and I'm hoping these will help with that.
I can't stand wearing regular earplugs because I feel on edge without being able to hear what's going on around me and I REALLY don't want anyone to have to touch my shoulder or anything to get my attention.
I struggle with this but tbh I think more often people are just in good or bad moods already, or they're tired. It's often more about their mood that day than anything you've done.
So I try not to take it personally unless they've full on been rude to me.
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this is really conceited and you can make fun of me if u want, but does anyone think they can't get the help they need because they're somewhat conventionally attractive? I am diagnosed ASD/ADHD combined type but everyone just expects me to hold down a job like its nbd and i swear i am lower functioning than some of the biggest cows on this site. but i look like a bit of a stacy and my own bf has admitted that my unmasked behaviour has come as a bit of a surprise (but hes a fuckign coomer nerd so copes with it)
>wants a job
>can't dress for interview
>can't cope with office politics
>short term memory is almost non existent to the point where i'm pretty sure i've made this post before
>"oh you'll be fine! you just need some experience anon!"
>taught self database shit for admin positions
>not a brag its easy as fuck especially for autists
>"how about you go for a receptionist or customer service anon??"
BITCH, i can barely talk to u on the phone
fucking end me, everyone thinks i'm exaggerating or i'm a tumblr munchie but i have a fucking meltdown over a pair of socks or food touching other food. I have so much self hatred over this but ppl think i'm not a retard because my face is somewhat symmetrical.
anyway its all wasted because make up feels like hellfire and I still can't compete w ladies who do proper make-up/hair
>>826165>short term memory is almost non existent to the point where i'm pretty sure i've made this post before
Kek ain't that the realest shit
I don't know anything about how hard it is to be a hot stacey model, literally can't relate, but imo you don't need flashy hair and makeup or to learn how to play GoT style office politics even if it feels that way. I find that the most important thing for the workplace is to look clean and tidy and smile when people talk to you.
For clothes you can make a collage of how office ladies usually look in your country on your phone and look at that when shopping. It's okay to look plain if your clothes are in decent condition, I avoid buying anything pale coloured or that needs ironed so that I look tidier. One bright or floral item will make you look friendly if you feel brave.
If you're already pretty you don't need makeup especially if that sets off sensory issues but even a little bit can make you look more welcoming than you feel like a tiny bit of undereye concealer, mascara and subtle brow pencil.
Having neat hair is important though. Mine is frizzy so I learned one way to style my hair into a tidy bun from youtube and I do that every day like an office robot.
tl;dr use youtube to emulate the most generic office lady possible, look clean and smile until your face hurts
Just wait until you start to age and then on top of people expecting you to act normal, they'll equally expect you to have some sort of experience and shit-togetherness too.
It's sad but yeah, generally speaking if you don't look like a social looney most people believe that you're fine and are making excuses.
This was a way nicer reply than I expected and I love u girls
I’m not super hot or anything just a bit above average to the point where, like you all have been saying, the already established misogyny thinks I have no problems in life. The bun is a good idea and I’ve been going with that as well, been watching some tutorials. It looks a bit Jane but kind of gets the job done. I don’t think I smell but I’m aware that is a big concern as well especially because I smoke and I know that can be really nasty so I obsess over bathing. The biggest issue for me is the exhaustion from faking my demeanour/my naivety. I just always feel like I’m missing something and I can easily fall for pranks or scams, or just shitty office gossip (ironic that I frequent this site). I fuck up basic tasks a lot and it’s super embarrassing. Thank u for taking the time to reply to me >>826194
I am getting up there in age ala PT but people think I’m a lot younger due to my behaviour kek. I really want botox but I need to not fail at jobs first and stop being a poorfag. I feel for all you experiencing this shit
Igi but first of all, you can learn to do your makeup/hair. Trust me, you've got this. Look on pinterest if you need inspo. If you don't have an eye for it then you can look at minimalist wardrobe outfit ideas for how to put outfits together and can better yet pay for stylists to evaluate and organize that shit for you.
As an attractive neurodivergent woman, I think my biggest problem with how others perceive me is that you aren't taken seriously intellectually as a woman, esp a hot one, but then ADHD basically confirms 'oho dumb woman!'. When you talk for long enough, they pick up on your ADHD/ASD mannerisms now you're a 'ditz'. I have so much insecurity about having to prove my intelligence and my intelligence to begin with. I feel like my looks and intelligence should put me on a level above retarded fugly moids but that the appearance of 'relatability' that comes with ADHD symptoms brings me down to earth so to speak (shy, introverted, insecure, but also a bit absent minded and clumsy). I wish I was a stone cold bitch and not bubbly, ditzy, or w/e men perceive me as just because I'm hot and because it makes them feel less threatened by me.
Overall I definitely feel like there's a major hindrance on me socially with ADHD that I still have yet to understand. ASD gives more of an explanation of social ostracization but I don't have ASD. Unfortunately ADHD as it stands is an umbrella term that 'causes' practically everything so I can't necessarily expect to ever have an explanation of why I am the way I am. Idk if anyone else relates but it feels like no matter how pretty I am I'll never be able to do anything with it because of how fucking terrible I am in social contexts. Not because of makeup or clothes, because trust me, even when you're like me and obsessed with aesthetics (think fashionable Pinterest hoe) your social awkwardness still shows through. It doesn't matter how hot I am or how put together I look because my spastic reactions, my inability to maintain eye contact and other insecure body language, and my inability to gauge social cues appropriately will always deflate me to weirdo/normie level. I've always been that out of place attractive person who looks like they shouldn't be in the group of social outcasts but is secretly a fucking weirdo. Not even like I'm addicted to porn but just that I say the wrong things or apparently intimidate people when I'm not speaking. I hate being such an obvious misfit and if I could change it I would in a heartbeat.
People (esp men, fuck them) seriously overestimate how much looks help you. Sure looks can help at face value but whatever ADHD has done to my self esteem and personality basically renders any chance of being perceived as a Stacy hopeless. Not that I care about being a Stacy for male attention either, I just want nerdy fucks to leave me alone and stop seeing me as approachable because I'm a spaz.
anon u replied too, thank u. I am working on the hair/beauty thing but it’s so upsetting that it took me this long to even realise I need to learn! I relate to all of this. Always been the pixie dream ditz, I especially relate to the last part, my friends have always been unwashed neck beards, which is why I feel at home on image boards in the first place. I’ve ruined every good relation I’ve had with normal, good natured women by not maintaining it (internalised misogyny be damned, oh how I want a female friend group. I feel like they all think I’m the biggest NLOG imaginable and in a way I am but… I can’t??? Help it?? Organic nlogs exist and it’s called developmental disorders)
It’s extra awful when you’re young and think you build meaningful bonds with these permavirgin scrotes but then you find out they’re in it for the long con of trying to fuck you. I know that is generally the female experience but imo it’s worse when they’re your only friends. I don’t trust scrotes at all anymore really, unless they’re secure Giga chads who already have hot gfs that they love or are gay.
CBT - forcing yourself to do the thing you are scared to do… Until you teach your brain it is not going to kill you to do the thing.
I have a neighbor who is aware I live alone and that I don't get out all that much (he's retired and lives alone, doesn't do much either) For a while there he kept bugging me with >"don't you get lonely anon?"
I told him a dozen times that no I don't. I love living alone and I love that my neighbors all say hi to me when I'm passing by but they don't knock on my door or invite themselves round to my house. That suits me perfectly! This guy was lonely and wanted an invitation into my house basically. That's what he was getting at.
My dad is the same. I got it from his side of the family. He lives alone and doesn't want visitors coming over. Outside of his kids he just doesn't want to talk to people for hours or have any spontaneous knocks at his door.
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Does any of you have any good online resource to recommend about how autism looks in adult women? I found this https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-and-aspergers-a-checklist/
but it kinda feels like pretty much a list of every trait a human can have, do you think it's in any way legit?
I don't want to self diagnose but before I get to any real evaluations I'm hoping to find a way to at least make sure i'm looking in the right direction here. If any of you got the diagnosis unexpectedly in adulthood, what were the signs for you?
not an aspie but recently got my adult adhd diagnosis (30 yr oldfag) and I feel like this a lot. maybe look into both?
the adhd "checklist" was brutal and uhhh enlightening to say the least. I told the psyc I felt pretty targeted and he said haha, oh no dropping the link for you if you're interestedhttps://add.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/adhd-questionnaire-ASRS111.pdf
Thanks for sharing, I didn't even think of ADHD (my therapist just suggested I might be on a spectrum); but in the test you've linked I found myself a lot in the gray zones, definitely gonna look into it too now.
Did getting a diagnosis lead to you getting help better suited with your needs or was is just a clarification that didn't change much in your life otherwise?
funny you ask, I have a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow to see about getting medicated (or at least off ssri's and onto stimulants). fingers crossed, most people I've spoken to with the prescription have said it really helps. I also have to go to talk therapy etc. been twice and it's been food for thought at least. feeling a bit calmer and a lot more vindicated. I'm in Aus so idk about you but the process has been super long and like jumping through hoops but definitely look in to getting diagnosed.
I think there might be a crossover, I've definitely considered Asperger's because it also runs in my family. do you have many family members with a history? it can sometimes be masked under mirroring or substance abuse etc. cause of the whole self medicating thing. is there any way you can use medicare or whatever to see if you can get into the system at least? it's a far bit arduous
sorry for massive blogpost lmao
I suppose feeling calmer and more vindicated could be exactly what I'd hope to get out of it, I kept seeing various therapists for years with no real result, now is the first time someone would even mention being on the spectrum and that could maybe explain some things. As far as I know no one in my family has it but in my country (Poland) people really like to avoid any mental evaluation whatsoever; so it could just go unnoticed.
Hope it goes well with the psychiatrist! You've said you've been to therapy twice, you think you'll be going for it again or putting your hopes in getting medication that helps for good at the moment?
Also no worries, I've asked and it's not even that massive haha
After being diagnosed I kept hearing from various professionals that the majority of ASD women in relationships are with ASD men, whereas ASD men are more likely to be with NT women. At the time I thought that was a bit odd since most ASD women are much better at passing for NT than men are. Though I suppose it makes sense in that there are significantly more ASD men than (diagnosed) ASD women and in my experience NT men tend to be less tolerant of spergy behaviour in their partners than NT women.
Anyway, I do think it makes sense to want to date someone who has a similar personality type and lifestyle as you do. I could never be with someone who wanted to go out all the time, or constantly have people over or be super spontaneous and unpredictable. My husband has never been diagnosed but he definitely fits the “type”. Although it’s nice to be with someone who doesn’t have all the same vulnerabilities I do, so we can comfort and take care of each other when necessary rather than shutting down at the same time. I worry that if I were in a relationship with someone more autistic than I am, I’d always be in caretaker mode and have no time or energy left for myself.
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Uh so I'm definitely on the spectrum somewhere but have never even had a psychologist, psychiatrist, or therapist bring ASD as a possibility up. I'm shocked bc my story fits the autistic female profile to a T.
I don't know if I'll ever try to get legitimately diagnosed. I've seen in the female ASD community that they're accepting of people who are self-diagnosed with decent enough evidence. I really only would want to get diagnosed just to confirm my own suspicions and maybe for my own closure. I'm seeing a therapist soon because my psychiatrist currently just says I'm a HSP (highly sensitive person) on top of having ADHD. I hate to be skeptical but I have been misdiagnosed so many times which of course includes retarded diagnoses like BPD and bipolar.
Aside from my own internal dilemma, for the most part I just want to stop coming off as 'quirky' and different from other people. Is there a guide for autistic women on how to manifest confidence and lessen your autistic mannerisms? My masking is good in small talk but not so good with people I have to see on a regular basis. On the flip side I've heard it's better if we just be ourselves but that would likely result in being called a bitch.
Also are there any good resources that anons would recommend for women who suspect that they have ASD?
Is anyone else terrified of autistic men? The stuff about women with ASD gravitating to males with ASD fucking scares the shit out of me.
I've always felt like autistic women were better than the men but lord ever since browsing the ASD community and seeing the amounts of degeneracy, victimhood, and narcissism/antisocial characteristics I've began to hate autistic men so much. I was childfree to begin with but now I'm even more against having kids since ASD is genetic and I'd kill myself having to be a mother to an autistic son. I just legit fear for mothers of autistic men seeing how many autistic men kill their mothers.> in my experience NT men tend to be less tolerant of spergy behaviour in their partners than NT women.
Which I don't get at all bc I think I (and other women with ASD) have better emotional intelligence and mental health management than the average NT man. If anyone has any tips on attracting NT types and not sick autistic ejaculators I'm all ears.
I relate to this so hard anon. I say go for it if you can afford it.
I'm diagnosed but a lot of my symptoms didn't show up until I was in my mid teens (sensory issues, trouble making friends, not being interested in sex, monotone voice, barely any facial expressions). I've always been shy and unattentive but basically all my symptoms came around after I was groomed by a pedo and my mom was mad at me for it (kicked me to the curb for years and took away all my confidence). I fit the tism profile but idk maybe I'm just depressed and traumatized lol. I also have adhd which I think plays a big role in the not listening thing
I have ADHD and likely Aspergers as well, was fucking around with a numerology calculator, and got a couple results of indicators for numbers associated with aspergers/ADHD/OCD/autism. I wanna suggest ADHD/autistic anons might try it to see how accurate it is.https://numerologytoolbox.com/numerology/numerology-calculator/
I think you have to use a laptop (not mobile) because you have to hover the numbers to see the descriptions. Use your actual full name.
There's no point unless you're trying to get neet bux by larping being pants-shittingly retarded. At worst, having it on paper can be used against you.
Like I don't know any diagnosed "functioning" autist who gets any help for their autism. At most they see a generic therapist. In fact I don't even know if there's any designated program for adults that's not extremely niche and experimental. We're kinda just supposed to learn to mask on our own or get fucked.
No one can train you to embody "normalness". There's no therapeutic cure for being a social retard, you need a good honest friend to socialize you then maybe you can improve. See a trauma-informed therapist for self-harming behavior and emotion dysregulation, but really no one can stop you at the end of the day. Having dumb hobbies is not a problem.
Lol, thank you.
My doctor once suggested therapy, but I looked up how much it costs and was like "what fuck no".
Very late reply, but I got similar side effects from Strattera. Otherwise the perfect drug, not stimmy, helped me focus, slept like a vaby and woke up refreshed and happy every morning. But every afternoon when the drug started wearing out, I got extremely angry to the point I actually thought I might hurt random people. I wanted to punch people and brick walls, the sheer hostility was very scary to me. At home I screamed and cried at my husband for forgetting to buy a carton of milk, and I was even annoyed enough at my sweet pet wanting my attention that I pushed them off the bed. I was punching my bed and screaming into my pillow every day after work. Oh and I also experienced skull splitting headaches and nausea. I tried titrating the dose to be as miniscule as possible, but I had to give up trying after four weeks because I was seriously worried I might lose my job or husband over a meltdown. I had never been violent or hostile towards other people in my life, aside from being annoyed for slightly inconvenient every day things and some slight self harming in my teens, but Strattera made me absolutely insane with rage. It’s really telling how bad I need help with ADHD when I just pummeled through side effects like these just for the faint hope of getting a better quality of life.
Tl;dr Strattera gave me Hulk rage and I had to stop taking it, 1/5 would not recommend
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Could anyone explain to me what the benefits of an adult diagnosis might be?
I suspect I might have autism or ADHD, but a psychiatric evaluation would be very, very expensive and I absolutely couldn't afford to do more than one (as I hear that sometimes people have to seek multiple opinions before they find out what's wrong with them). When I was younger in school/college, it would have been helpful as I could have availed of more supports, would have been given allowances for exams, could have gone to an agency which specialises in hiring people with autism to help me find a job etc. but now that I'm older, out of the education system and have a job, is there any point in seeking a diagnosis? I know a lot of people receive a diagnosis later in life, and if someone reading this has, maybe you could let me know briefly how it has helped you? I guess my main motivations right now are: it would help explain a lot of my past, I might go easier on myself when I show symptoms, and I could join a group which might make me feel less alone?
Sorry for the rant, I just want to make sure this is something that would actually benefit me before eating into my precious savings.
If it doesn't actually affect your life to where you feel like you need an answer then you probably don't have it or are on the lighter end of the ADHD and autism spectrums. For me personally ADHD symptoms were a major insecurity for my entire life. I'm medicated now and I still have attention issues, medication doesn't fix everything but people don't tell you that. Overall my self-esteem is the biggest problem. I think therapy is helping with that, not the medication.
Also as far as I know, disclosing ADHD to an employer will only hinder you. Most people still associate ADHD with being a dunce and you'll be seen as an employee who is a liability at best. If you go back to school though I HIGHLY recommend getting an ADHD diagnosis as it can help if you need to take tests in quiet, private environments through disability services. I'm in grad school and ik it might seem dumb to some that I'm a graduate student who is asking for 'special accommodations' but things like pen clicking and other people fidgeting can really distract me to where I might have a mental breakdown. If you can relate to that, then yes, get diagnosed with ADHD to make use of this.
What symptoms do you have if you don't mind specifying? Tbh I've been diagnosed for like a year now and while I think groups could help, I'm too scarred from seeing people with diagnoses using their ADHD as reasons to not shower or something. Maybe that would help your self confidence though kek.
I've been reading through this thread all day and it seems like people are totally divided over the idea of getting a diagnosis lol. I don't have a plan to go back to school but if I did, I absolutely would be seeking a diagnosis because I see how much it would have genuinely helped me to have accommodations.
Yeah, sure! If anyone relates to these, they could chime in and apologies in advance for how long this is lol:>I'm painfully shy like agoraphobia, but I've never been diagnosed. I usually have to get my bf to do basic things for me like make calls or order for me in restaurants. I fidget a LOT (which irritates others) and engage in obsessive things like skin picking, comfort eating, plucking my hairs and binge-drinking. I'm very socially awkward ("small talk" stresses me out and I usually end up saying unintentionally inappropriate or offensive things to people all. the. time.) and I find it really difficult at work (I'm silent/frozen during meetings, my suggestions - when forced out of me - are met with weird looks, I never ask questions out of crippling fear of looking stupid and I definitely don't stand up for myself when I really really should). I just find it difficult to express myself properly in general (I've probably typed up these two posts a million times) and struggle with really basic shit that others don't seem to have an issue with. I'm VERY sensitive to sound (crowds, repetitive sounds, certain music makes me have to leave the room or I feel like I'll explode). Had a situation where I was subjected to a certain sound for hours daily and it just consumed all my thoughts, made it impossible for me to get anything done. I have a lot of tiny weird interests and seem to attract a lot of people with autism/mental illnesses into my life because of sharing those interests. I can't name anything specific because I obsessively get into new things and then immediately drop them out of boredom. I would consider lc one of these weird interests and anything that has endless scrolling is dangerous for me. Also, I had terrible results in school despite studying harder than anyone I knew.
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Dealing with mental health issues for years, suspected I have a range of things from BPD to schizophrenia to a wide variety of mental illnesses that I thought I had because I felt something was wrong with me all throughout my life but never once thought of the possibility that I could be autistic because I knew autistic kids and they were retarded.
No matter how much I worked on my mental health and how much I tried to improve I always fell back into binge eating, skin/scalp picking, wasting time investing in short-lived obsessions, and not being able to keep a new habit to save my life and these new habits included studying, I couldn't keep any good habit ever.
Other things like sensory stimulation were always a big part of my childhood, I was a weird kid because I liked to touch my belly button all the time (along with other parts) because I liked the texture, I still love leathery textures the most, I can be very easily irritated by noise and crowds and I had a couple of public meltdowns while being forced to work with others with too many stressful surroundings, always picked the wrong emotional expression, can't react appropriately (in an organic way) to most situations, I learnt to fake happiness
and gratitude when someone gets me a present or in a situation when I'm expected to be happy but it's still hard for me to not laugh/react in a way that makes people hate me in situations when everyone is sad and crying or experiencing negative emotions.
I have slight face blindness, can't make eye contact, have zero body language, monotone flat voice, I stim and fidget, social phobia, I have bad mood swings, and there are times where I can't talk and just want to isolate myself (later learnt that it was called selective mutism) which led me to not keep any sort of relationship and the only people I was able to keep in my life were other autistic people.
When I realised that I wasn't getting better despite my best efforts I started doing therapy, therapist started with the whole gifted child syndrome and with a few sessions we finally started talking about autism and it clicked… I might be autistic, I did some research and talked with my other autistic friend, I mainly did all this research to tell myself that I'm normal and not sperged but the more I researched the more I realised I'm not a quirky snow-flake but rather a sperg, all of my quirky unexplainable traits turned out to be autistic traits, my therapist thinks I'm autistic but I'm not gonna get diagnosed as I'm still in denial and I'm writing this post while in a headspace where I'm more accepting to the fact.
I tried working on the things I listed above for years and I'm getting better at taking control over them to the point that I'm trying to convince myself that if I can force appearing normal that I'm normal but just haven't socialised enough.
One thing this half diagnosis suspect helped me with though is talking more in-depth with my friend who's been diagnosed [as an adult] for over a decade now, it seems that people who are sperged or high functioning usually go unnoticed and are dismissed as quirky kids because they don't smash their skulls during breakdowns but it becomes apparent once they're adults and have to deal with the world on their own, I felt a bit of a relief to know that it's not entirely my fault that I've been getting progressively worse at many things including speech which is a big one.
Also kind of relieved it's likely autism and not schizophrenia because the symptoms are somewhat similar in some aspects
I can't say that I have autism for sure but it's a high possibility that I'm not willing to seek diagnosis for it but it's helpful to know that if I'm going through one of these days I'll look up how retards cope with them.
on a side note,
It's easier to live with being quirky than with being autistic because knowing myself I'll get so caught up with it I'll start exaggerating my symptoms unconsciously as if I'm playing a character because that's what I felt like I was doing my whole life… playing a character.
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Ask to get referred ASAP by your GP to the specialist clinic, have a friend make sure you fill out the survey it’s a huge pain and requires input from friends/family. I think because of the bump in fad diagnosis, they’re just wary of anyone coming in and asking for one.
I highly recommend collecting/writing down all instances in your life where you’ve failed do something due to executive dysfunction especially things have have majorly disrupted your life. It feels like death doing it, but it’ll be helpful and you can be specific and clear since they’re looking for any reason to deny you unfortunately. I uh flunked out of uni the first time so I normally drop that one like a bomb.
There’s also a new route where you can get accessed privately and then referred into the NHS system.
Good luck ever getting a diagnosis since it does seem to be crippling you quite a bit.
As a warning you may feel like shit at first do to stereotypes but it should even out with age
Thank you! Knowing that there are some specifics that can help when going to a GP makes me feel a bit better about it (not quite Uni but I absolutely bombed during 6th Form, from B's to E's/U's), as well as private > NHS referral being an option.
Do you happen to have any advice on mentioning specific symptoms? There are a few I could mention but I'm also worried about coming across as "went on the internet and wrote things down", if that makes sense
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Since they’re doctors who don’t have ADHD so I would try to focus not on the stuff that gets posted online as like “same bestie I also tap my foot and sit sideways in chairs” but on specific instances that have made your day to day life difficult like not being able to keep up with your schedule, having a hard time focusing so simple tasks take a long time etc. Also if you tell them about techniques you have for coping/organising and how they aren’t enough. I keep checklists of repetitive daily/weekly tasks for instance. You could also talk about how Covid/quarantine made things worse by entirely destroying your ability to keep a daily schedule since everything is online. Just a few suggestions maybe other nonnas have some more.
Overall I would focus on what you explicitly want out of getting treatment. Do you want medication? Do you want someone to help you organise your life/develop strategies?
In general I think the uh “I have fifty identities in my twitter bio” types mostly approach these things as like “I identify as it and I don’t want to do anything about it because I’m valid
and sexy uwu” whereas we want to get treatment because it’s fucking up our lives.
A little late as I was working the bank holiday but, thank you anon!
Online stuff I've seen that have lined up with my issues have been referred to as time blindness, dead time and object permanence - I do keep in mind that some of the generic stuff you mentioned as example are just far too "omg same I also do (generic thing) so I must also have it" but I'd still feel as if I'd sound like a twat by throwing something like "time blindness" into the ring, even if it's a big problem.
I don't want to waffle on at you so thank you so much again for the advice! This is the first time I've asked about this online before (never wanted to come across as self-diagnosing so I never put it out there) and you've been really helpful. I feel like I've a better grasp of how to approach this now and making notes of the daily effects its having will definitely be a good start, hopefully I can be firm with the GP when the time comes.
I hope you're having a nice day!
I mean look. It's not like autism has a known biological basis or anything like that. It's not like they can tell from your blood. At this point being "autistic" just means you're kinda weird & awkward. So you can just like… say you're autistic. This isn't like, stolen valor, or a lie, because there are no real criteria for it.
Basically if you act weird, you're autistic, and if you're autistic, you act weird. So if you act weird, and dont give a fuck about people thinoing you're a sped, you can just say you're autistic, you don't need some official diagnosis. Like… no one you're talking to can verify that you were diagnosed or not. And personally, if someone said to me "sorry im autistic or some shit idk" i would believe them more and be more sympathetic to them than someone who was like "I'm autistic! I was officially diagnosed!" like if you need someone else to tell you you're weird, you aren't that weird.
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Uh, what the fuck.
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just dont interact with astrology, numerology or any other ridiculous shit like that. just dont give them a single nibbet of the attention they want. they're just as retarded as religious people, but even more annoying.
I fucking nibbled on your attention teats, neurodivergent numerologyphobe nonnie
. thanks for the attention
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I was diagnosed with autism as a small child, and then later on I got autism diagnosis from unrelated doctor as a teen. None of my teachers were informed, and my parents told me to never tell my friends, so idk I don't really feel very "autistic" until I'm forced to socialize. I'm fine in formal settings (when I'm a teacher or in position of power), but I struggle with people I'm supposed to be friendly with. I can't do eye contact, I start stuttering, talking about unrelated shit, I interrput others and say the meanest shit without any ill intent. I don't know if it's my autism or what. But I'm 22 and I still feel like my social abilities are of 8 year old stunted child, I'm awful to be around. Same with certain sounds and textures, I cringe or gag every time something is just not perfectly smooth or pleasant. I can't eat anything besides a specific kind of bread, cheese, and vegetables&fruits that have soft nice inside and skin I can peel. I don't know, I don't really feel like a proper autist, but I know something is wrong with me. Sorry for this loony post.
I've always struggled to study and pay attention in class, was absent minded, impulsive etc but was lucky enough to not have to work hard to get good marks so my ADHD slipped by until the age of 25 when I started to have to cope with housekeeping, doing a masters thesis and looking after my pets. Was diagnosed this week and started slow release 28 mg methylphenidate/Concerta generic and I'm just kind of baffled with how it been working. I've read people say that if you don't have ADHD stimulants make you hyperactive etc and don't have that effect on people with ADHD, which I thought was bullshit. But my constant fidgeting has decreased and I just feel kind of chilled out, my mind is quieter and I have to only do a minute or do of hyping myself up to do a task instead of fucking hours or days. I had to write a final assignment/exam this week which was the best work I've ever produced and I'm pissed that it took so long for me to get help. My impulsivity has gone down a bit too. Downsides are that the Concerta has given me skin flushes when wearing off, a bit of anxiety, some light headedness, completely gotten rid of my appetite and made me work for hours without remembering to take any breaks. It also takes me a longer time to fall asleep. That's a considerable list and I hope some of these symptoms subside after a week or two when my body gets used to it, especially because the anxiety may be from the massive exam. Otherwise I'll have to consider low dose Rit only for when I need to work.
In any case its nice to feel validated that my ADHD is actually a thing, because I've always just felt like I'm a lazy useless fuck who only reaches 60% of their potential. Years of my teachers and parents telling me I need to just apply myself and pay attention, not be so careless etc.
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After getting told by a doctor when I was 6 that girls don't get autism, years of shame and denial, a year and a half on a wait-list, and about a years worth of meetings I am FINALLY diagnosed!
It feels bittersweet, I wanna be happy but I'm not going to tell anyone except my partner, and its not like I'm going to magically stop being autistic now. Thanks to the autism I never finished school, and have to re-take so much, but at the same time, thanks to this diagnosis I can get support while I retake everything. I also now have a nice therapist who is helping me understand why I am the way I am and wants to help me navigate the world.
When I first sought help years ago I wrote some pathetic letter to my doctor about wanting to be able to go outside without feeling like shit, wanting to be able to talk to others (especially other women) without feeling like a freak compared to them, and just wanting to be able to be normal.
While in the process of getting my diagnosis I've accepted that I will probably never be normal, but I can at least learn to manage the world. Things might actually get better!
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I remember in school how messy my backpacks, desks and lockers were. I refused to use any binders or folders and just smushed all my papers inside. I also regularly forgot about pieces of fruit in them and they went rotten. I think that should have been a sign something was off.
Your dose could be wrong but also you could be on the wrong medication
I'm one of the anons that hasn't found success with medication but I don't think it's unusual for people to need some trial and error with the dosage
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I was the exact same. I wasn't even intentional with it, I just never registered it was wrong to be messy. My room was shit too and I'd just forget to do things.
I'm much tidier now however.
Formal introductions are unnecessary. You've already spoken with that person, and you will speak with them again. Wait to see if they mention anything that hints at a deeper personal life. If it's semi-relevant, you can talk about something you've done or seen or whatever and try to break the ice some.
Unfortunately, this is where the autism brain is hard to overcome, since a lot of what you do during the course of an interaction relies on properly reading the situation.
Also, be careful with coworkers. It's great to be on friendly terms with them, but pursuing romantics interest with coworkers can get really messy really fast. I'd suggest you keep it platonic if this is somebody you're going to have to be around for a long time.
>>1002152>Notes on Scrotes: Don't Avoid the Moid!?
Honesty is the best policy anon, after 6 months it's okay to simply say "hey we haven't hung out much yet" to indicate you want to hang out.
Take some opportunities to talk to him / listen to his interests, and invite him to do whatever you personally enjoy. Just be yourself and actually be present and involved when you want to be, be in the moment as much as you can, and you'll be fine. There's plenty of more moids in the void but if this one is special to you then I say go for it, just make sure to have fun and don't think too catastrophically
Maybe a stupid question but how did you stop masking?
I've been masking my whole life and I don't know how to stop, even though it's exhausting. Any time I'm around anyone other than my parents the mask goes up automatically and I can't drop it or relax until I'm alone again. Being able to stop masking and just be an unapologetic autist sounds so liberating.
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I worked in a pharmacy for a while. Besides thyroid meds, adderall was one of the drugs where a pills from a specific manufacturer was most requested. So, I do believe you when you say that you feel like it's working differently. Legally, it still has to be X mg of adderall, but the different binding agents used can affect absorption pretty significantly.
The manufacturer should be on the bottle, but if you can't find it, you can look it up via the color/shape/markings on the pill. https://www.drugs.com/imprints.php
You can request a specific manufacturer from your pharmacy, but whether you're able to get it is a whole other story.
At Walgreens (where I worked), the infrastructure for ordering specific manufacturers was super shitty. Usually our warehouses would mostly just carry 1 brand, and if they switched, we had to special order other manufacturers from other distributors, which was a slow process with C-II substances. We also had very little tech infrastructure to indicate that a patient wanted a different manufacturer at all, and pharmacists were basically just remembering when people wanted a specific manufacturer on refills.
Anyways, ask your pharmacy and see how willing they are to accommodate you. If it's CVS/Walgreens, they are probably too busy to, and even if they say they will, you'll have to be on them like a hawk to make sure you get the correct manufacturer. Otherwise, you can try getting your meds from an independent pharmacy, and they're much more likely to try and actually work with you, but it might cost a little extra.
Some patients got sick of it and demanded brand-name adderall from their insurance. I don't know what the process for getting that covered is like, but that might be an option for you as well.
Good luck! Navigating the healthcare system is a nightmare.
Try making an IRL autist/semi-autist friend and hang out one-on-one. It'll be much easier to start to be yourself around them, and once you've done it with one former stranger, it'll be a lot easier to do it with others.
Reaching out to old high school classmates might be good for this too. So far, I've always been pleasantly surprised by how easy "catch-up" type interactions usually are.
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you should get her these
Does anyone else on the spectrum feel like they get poor treatment wherever they go? I've had it from my family, friends, classmates, teachers, room mates, work environments, partners, partner's parents, professional services, therapists, doctors, etc.
Not trying to paint myself as a forever victim as obviously I must be doing something wrong to cause this pattern, but it's difficult for me to know exactly what. I wasn't diagnosed until my late 20s but suspected it before that so I've not unaware of social norms and pay close attention to myself and others.
It just seems that no matter how hard I mask as normal or try to minimize myself by being quiet but polite, I just get taken advantage of, othered, treated rudely or straight up bullied. I'm not being overly sensitive either, some of the things I've had happen are objectively awful and I've had to report them (which was taken seriously).
At best I can figure out is that my emotional reactions are lacking or I don't show enough interest in others or I have poor boundaries but the reactions I get seem to be excessive in comparison to that.
Literally the only reason I'm able to avoid this right now is because I stay away from others as possible but even then when I'm forced to interact it can happen again. It's so exhausting to spend so much energy just to try to be accepted by others on the bare minimum level and then realize they all hate me anyway.
I definitely agree about society being made by narcissists but I also seem to bring out these traits in other people who seem otherwise normal to everyone else.
It's irritating that NTs often seem to want the world to be a better and more caring place and then they are the ones causing all the issues, like literally the same people. God, they are all so exhausting. Why can't they just avoid people they don't like? Why must they always play games and try and outdo anyone they perceive as above them or tread on anyone they see as weaker.>>1021342
Have you found any coping methods aside from cutting yourself off from the world?
I am an autist, and have paranoid delusions and psychosis. I think, similar to you?
Autism and having terrible relationships with people/trauma can certainly alter the way you see other humans, and the isolation of autism can indeed make you a paranoid person. And for me, it was during a traumatic period of my life that the psychosis, paranoia, and strange emotions began.
I think autism affects how you interact with the world and can certainly bring mental illness with it, due to how hard and lonely it can be, so it is entirely understandable to be a schizotypal autist. Your isolation and trauma definitely sound like contributing factors. You can manage symptoms by getting plenty of sleep, exercise, a nutritious diet and positive relationships. I really hope you get the treatment you didn't get when you should have, and get as much fun out of life as you wish, don't let it hold you back anon.
i hope this doesn't piss anyone off since i'm not diagnosed but recently i've been wondering if i'm on the spectrum. i've had various mental issues since age 12, most prominently being eating disorders (started as anorexia, transitioned into bulimia at a later stage) and body issues in general. the other mental issues mostly stemmed from the body issues stuff, severe depression and suicidal tendencies.
i was "special" ever since i was little. everyone thought i was some kind of prodigy because i learned how to read and write at a very young age and was interested in weird things like diseases, the human body etc.. there was a running joke in my family about my "rare diseases" because i was obsessed with watching monsters inside me and would know random facts about rare viruses and bacteria. my family just brushed it off as me being "intelligent" and "smart" as i later also got perfect grades in middle school. that was, of course until high school started and my mental issues began, my grades plummeted then.
i also had many weird obsessions with things or more specifically people, celebrities. i was very obsessed with this boy band for 5+ years and they consumed my life pretty much. went to their concerts, watched all of their content and had a parasocial relationship with them for years. when i couldn't get tickets for their concert because it sold out too fast i cried and got suicidal.
i also have trouble with empathy. i was an "edgelord" throughout my teen years and had political views that pretty much dismissed everyone's issues including women, the poor, minorities etc… i still struggle to empathise with women who get broken up with or dumped by men and cry about it, it seems irrational to me though logically i know one cannot control their emotions. i just hate people expressing their emotions. i'm also uncomfortable when people vent to me or cry because i don't know how to react.
i have trouble controlling my anger and often have the urge to harm myself when i get overwhelmed (for example by punching myself, biting my hand etc…). it doesn't take much to piss me off and i've noticed i'm sensitive to noise and that is the main factor that causes these outbursts. when someone in the house is too loud i literally want to punch the wall out of anger.
i don't know why i'm writing all this here kek i know it belongs in the vent thread more but i was wondering if anything of what i said resonated with some of your experiences, those of you that are diagnosed in particular? i know you can't diagnose me through an imageboard, but i'm just trying to get an idea of what could be wrong with me
For decades people around my dad have kinda known he has something going on. He calls himself 'an oddball' and leaves it at that. Doesn't appear to want to know.
I have other family (on his side) who got diagnosed as adults and it was anticlimactic as nothing came from the diagnosis. They're high enough functioning that they weren't recommended any supports or services.
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Any nonnies here with comormid autism/add have experience with medication such as ritalin?
My life is a goddamn mess and I just want it to stop. Or at least become LESS messy.
Yes. Something about me brings out the middle school bully in people, and oddly enough it got much worse after I became an adult. Coworkers and people at social or sports clubs I’ve tried to join will do things like gossip about me when they know I’m within earshot, give me weird nicknames, make a point of letting me know I’m the only one who hasn’t been invited to something, steal or damage my stuff and lie about it, physically block my workspace and then act like I’m being unreasonable when I politely ask them to move, lie about scheduling changes so I show up at the wrong place or time, ask me to do things and either refuse to acknowledge it when I do or deny they ever asked me for anything, etc. A good amount of this was in writing so I’ve been able to have non-autistic people verify that I’m not imagining or misinterpreting things. Taking it to HR or other higher-ups never helped, though, and if anything it just made it worse. In fact, me keeping track of these receipts has been used as proof that I’m weird and “uncollegial”.
I’ve all but given up on social clubs and just stick to solo hobbies now. With work, though, there doesn’t seem to be any way to avoid it. If I try to be social with coworkers they’ll use that as an opportunity to mess with me, and if I keep to myself they use that as justification for treating me badly and badmouth me to the boss. It’s bad enough that I’m thinking of abandoning this last decade of schooling and work experience entirely and finding something I can do from home with minimal social contact.
I’m sorry I don’t have any tips for you, anon.
How long did it take for anons to get diagnosed? I am almost too afraid to attempt it because there is still so much misogyny in mental health, and it seems most of the criteria is still so male-focused. I don't want to fish for a diagnosis like Pixielocks but I've suspected something for a long time. I just am so used to being misdiagnosed or labeled as whatever benefits the doctor in that moment without getting to know me, so my trust is a bit broken.>>1033835
This is awful. I have very similar experience to both you and other anon.