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File: 1750529182465.png (341.4 KB, 516x561, Majestically cresting.png)

No. 581158

>What is this thread
By popular demand, we have created the retarded shitpost thread which talks about husbandos and/or horny shit about fictional men in general.
>Why was this made / what is the difference
The difference is that here you can be retarded about your fictional 3D (as in characters from live action movies or shows) and 2D crushes so you don't clog /ot/. Post memes, be frisky, whatever. Be as mild or as spicy as you feel like.
>But why
Farmers are some horny bitches
>Examples of posts that go here
-I want the Jojos to gangbang me raw
-I love me some man tiddies
-I want to cuddle Reigen
etc.
>Examples of posts that DO NOT go here
-Actual real life men hornyposting
-Nigelposting
-Your husbando is trash/ugly/cringe/moid-tier etc
-He's gay/belongs with me/other character instead
-Any other bait
-Responding to bait
-"hi cow!"

Remember not to take baits or otherwise derail! Report low quality posts and move on!

The retarded hornyposting thread may also include pairings.
For real 3D men hornyposting, refer to: >>>/g/289276
For other shitposts just use the current /ot/ thread. Thank you!

Previous horny: >>>/g/564543

Relevant threads:
>Sister thread for female characters horny/waifuposting >>>/g/315174
>How to devote yourself completely to your husbando #3 >>>/g/391531
>Husbando thread >>>/m/188499
>The last husbando before /m/pocalypse >>>/m/173210
>Waifus & Female Character Crushes Thread >>>/m/229988
>Temporal Husbando Smell Identification Thread >>>/m/187722
>The Original smell >>>/m/164600
>Anon Assumption Regarding waifus/husbandos >>>/m/211556
>Rate/Roast Husbando >>>/m/182915
>Husbando Matchmaking Service >>>/m/242685
>Live Action Fictional >>>/m/34157

No. 581161

Gross pic, you should have used the Elsie bodypillow one.

No. 581163

>>581158
lmao beautiful op

No. 581170

>>581158
Lmao this fucking guy

No. 581182

File: 1750537714232.jpg (138.61 KB, 996x1200, b46be15d561fc18294df0db6648067…)

>>581158
Would he still love me if I was a tadpole/frog?

No. 581184

I was going to sass the wretched worm in OP but then I had a horrific realization: my Mahi probably counts as a worm husbando….

No. 581185

Just realized I've been yooming before I knew what it was with my Sonic OC as a kid.

No. 581186

File: 1750538159558.png (7.04 KB, 698x61, sweater.png)

Fuck, after seeing nonnas in the previous threads discuss using the chatgpt site rather than the API and Sillytavern, I've been feeding it hypothetical situations between my OCs and husbando and I feel almost ashamed the general gist of the output resonates with me. Like asking "could you give me a short piece on how OC and husbando would flirt/confess love/awkwardly propose". It's obviously a bit off the mark with his style of speech but damn, sometimes it takes me off guard with how cute and vulnerable it can make him. For example, dressing him up in a vest and dress shirt and him replying suddenly with pic related.
On the worm subject, he could 100% turn himself into a worm but would absolutely say "fuck no" even if you begged him. Not even for a giggle. He'd be too prideful to worm out.

No. 581196

File: 1750542586776.jpg (36.03 KB, 735x807, 1724359306282.jpg)

>>581091
ngl I was waiting/wondering if anyone would eventually mention it ITT
There's inevitably going to be post-collab mail order sales. I wonder if I can manage on top of the retarded international shipping prices or I'll have to cope by drawing my own custom acrylic shit

No. 581197

>>581196
I've been thinking about making my own too kek
There's no way I can get myself into some insular Japanese locals only merch trading group for this kind of merch, I know (insert local printing company) has my back though…maybe

No. 581198

File: 1750543150886.jpg (58.34 KB, 540x489, fd25d7369bd9fb31dbf6851388b7d6…)

>>580241
Late to the party, sorry nonnies
On a hot summer evening, I imagine myself helping Kazuhira when he cooks for the Motherbase.
Even the Motherbase has its own "rush hours"; the celebration parties where Kazuhira has to work extra hard, or simply the lazy, overwhelmingly hot days when no sane person would want to be next to a stove, let alone stand in front of the heat.
The skin-burning sun is so bright, its red shine continues bothering everyone at the base, the soldiers are hungrily waiting for their food as they keep protecting themselves from the heat with the cold bottles of beer, whining and complaining when their burgers will come… Its little moments like this when you can catch Miller feeling vulnerable; just one split second where he doesn't notice me behind him, bumping accidentally, when he wonders where is the spice that was "just right there"… Moments like this are a perfect opportunity to do something risky. And so, i imagine myself casually giving him a glass of water: after all, cooking in such heat wouldn't do any good. "There you go, master Miller", i say, gently passing him his glass, the one that he was searching for in a split moment. Naturally, he is used to me offering a glass to help him cool off, but the business of the evening doesn't make him even realise that this time the water doesn't look as crystal clear as it usually does… But once he realises that, it's already too late. I have spiked him with sleeping pills and Viagra.

He finds out the secret of his precious water only once he wakes up; tied to the chair with his cock out, hard and ready to use. Me, Big Boss and Ocelot are smirking at him impatiently. I lay my hips on his lap as I grind his cock against my slit, all while forcefully putting Ocelot's red scarf into his mouth.

He will not be able to cum for the rest of the evening, while I keep torturously edging him and teasing, and he can do nothing but watch me getting eaten out by Ocelot, as Big Boss showers my body with his sloppy wet kisses, touching my chest and waist hungrily.
I greedily cum against Ocelots nose while looking Miller deep into his eyes. His sunglasses are on my forehead the whole time…
I jokingly moan "You guys are not so different", as I bury Ocelots face into my cunt, scratching his hair with my nails digging into his head. The snarky remark makes Ocelot work harder, he makes sure he licks the heaven out of my clit while fingering my g-spot, wanting to prove how much better he is… All while Big Boss gropes my chest, leaving lust-filled hickeys on the heck and grinding his cock against my ass.

In my mind, the BBKMRO trio are nothing but pussy-drunk war criminals who will do anything to please me. I love them more sexually than I do romantically, and I prefer it that way because my heart belongs to my actual husbando. I rarely have any "fucked up" fantasies about my husbando because both of us are broken without repair, forced to survive in this cruel world the only way we know we can.

No. 581200

File: 1750543660969.png (2.73 KB, 80x122, 215448.png)

>>581018
>implying he wouldn't retract it
He knows better

No. 581206

File: 1750545104553.jpg (Spoiler Image,850.2 KB, 3185x1800, 124572b86a175f17f25a6f245e5041…)

Imagining him desperately dry humping me because I'm so hot and cool and sexy and totally super awesomesauce that his dick just can't handle seeing such perfection all the time

No. 581215

>>581213
Gonna pretend you're drunkenly posting as your husbando.(replying to scrotes, report and move on)

No. 581218

>>581217
How about you kill yourself instead(replying to scrotes, report and move on)

No. 581222

>>581219
You are bald with a beard and would rather eat shit than get a job, no woman wants you. Try gay for pay.(replying to scrotes, report and move on)

No. 581225

File: 1750548630835.jpg (1.56 MB, 1179x1658, a2b2e944439d0e88d9c43a4b5a0627…)

>>581217
no woman will ever love you because you are an ugly, disgusting, emotionally retarded scrote with literally zero redeeming qualities. you serve zero purpose for us and are a pathetic waste of human resources. please do us all a favor and increase the male suicide rates faggot(replying to scrotes, report and move on)

No. 581226

File: 1750548668198.jpg (67.37 KB, 510x680, 87128b723d41edd0a1994c0490dab0…)

Ignore the 3DPD. Moids will never be allowed on lc, nor do they deserve your attention.

Instead, nonnas, I have a question: did you learn anything new thanks to your husbando/s? I ended up reading a lot of Ainu and Meiji-era related books and started actually putting some effort into drawing men thanks to Ogata. Also learned to draw guns extremely well, too, which will help me more with my art journey.

No. 581232

>>581229
Because you're alive and of flesh. You're better off dead.(replying to scrotes, report and move on)

No. 581233

>>581232
Why do you waste your time talking to him?

No. 581237

>>581233
I'm kinda bored lmao.

No. 581239

>>581237
Grow up

No. 581240

File: 1750550083546.jpg (Spoiler Image,80.76 KB, 736x1104, imaginebeingsmotheredtodeathby…)

there was some talk of impassioned battle in the prior thread and I'd have to say the fantasy is delightful. but realistically he'd instantly figure out all he'd have to do to slay me is say coquettish garbage like this. I'd die several deaths before he even touches me. I need to steel my mind and gain willpower in order to properly destroy him.
>>579175
oh yeah! I won't blab about it much but yeah, the writer absolutely understands his appeal instead of trying to force him to be a daddy dom type or rapey like a lot of other fic does.

No. 581241

File: 1750550142036.jpg (127.19 KB, 636x900, GrXNg3-bAAMSDoI.jpg)

>>581226
>did you learn anything new thanks to your husbando/s
Yes! Learning to refine my husbando's anatomy led me down one hell of a rabbit hole. Discovering different body types due to the manner things are done or utilized. I already knew about body type variation between olympic sport participants, but this was even moreso refining! Very informative. I love him and all he does for me haha
>>581239
nta I see nothing wrong with what she's doing! So long as she provides threadtax, anyway.

No. 581242

File: 1750550596877.jpeg (84.72 KB, 394x865, IMG_3780.jpeg)

Creator had a stroke recently, I am worried about his health. His writing maybe is not the best but always on light hearted note. And his sex scenes assistant writes hot scenes. I wished I didn’t fell for pathetic alien blood tentacle manservant. He revealed Mr. Tentacles will be a branch and have a good ending. Why giving false hopes. I don’t even log in into app anymore.

No. 581247

>>581242
This is how I learn Tite Kubo has had a stroke damn

No. 581248

>>581242
What about… Ulquiorra… is he really not coming back

No. 581251

>>581247
>>581248
Nooo, not Bleach creator, just one of creators of vn anthology, sorry for misleading

No. 581254

File: 1750551475017.jpg (84.65 KB, 736x946, 842ac49658caa6d4f5f3f3810401c8…)

>>581248
Hell arc returns some dead guys, maybe he will appear but I doubt he had a beautiful ending to come back as someone goon

No. 581257

File: 1750552728786.png (2.49 MB, 1900x2800, Illustration162.png)

>>581226
Picked old tablet which was given to me as a birthday gift years ago and held it like a treasure in every travel so I could doodle Aumtzi for my insanity. Learned audio and videoediting basics. Wrote some drabbles but don't remember there saved them while I was drunk. I have a box of embroidery floss and ruffles but didn't come with image idea I want to be held in front of my desk. Beads should be somewhere in the lower floor of shelves. I think I am obsessed with him two years already. Have his chicken scratch doodle, thank you for listening. Wishing nonas having great relaxing weekend

No. 581259

File: 1750552902679.jpg (42.23 KB, 720x720, 1734039395820.jpg)

>>581206
I just heard the card where he cares of you during your period. Dang, he's so hot.

No. 581265

File: 1750556142962.png (1.36 MB, 1395x996, gay ghost.png)

i am fully aware he is a stereotype and all of that but still why they got to make him gay, am i asking to much, he would've been perfect if he was straight

No. 581267

File: 1750556249849.jpg (156.03 KB, 1152x2048, 20250616_150131.jpg)

>>581184
Reminded me, theres a villian that has the power to turn people into flies, frogs, rats, dragons, etc. so there's a reasonable chance it might happen to Subaru at some point. Frankly, I'm a little excited at the idea. Imagine how terrifying it would be for him if he turned into a worm, how defiled he'd feel, that his body was violated and deformed into something that can just wiggle on the ground. He wouldn't even be able to die, maybe he'd have to wait to starve.
He hasn't died that way yet, but he has thought about the possibility that he would need to and he has felt extreme starvation (enough to eat his own hand).
>>581226
I've gotten interested in star gazing because constellations mean a lot to Subaru, its a huge hobby for him and he was named after the Japanese term for Pleiades. Plus, the story plays around a bit with the naming symbolism of celestial bodies so it's worth looking stuff up about it.

No. 581269

I have a new husbando with unusually colored hair and I really can't figure out if the carpet would match the drapes…

No. 581284

File: 1750560663397.jpg (1.31 MB, 1900x1267, Lian.Yu.Shen.Kong.full.4378171…)

>>581259
It's kinda embarrassing but the part where he calls you a good girl always makes me feel a little flustered when I hear it kek. I love Zayne so much he's just so damn perfect

No. 581288

>>581269
Do you think his hair is dyed or natural? Easy.

No. 581294

>>581269
What color are his eyebrows? I’d say go with that color.

No. 581298

>>581265
to be fair my first impression of his looks is that he looks more fake gay/gay for show than actually gay. he's cute anyways and imo that's what counts.
>>581267
imagine trying to feed him some worm food and him pouting and refusing it until he eventually has to give in and eat it. it'd be cute in a fucked up way.



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