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Want some advice? Get some advice!
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My sister bought new clothes and is now depressed because she feels like she is "too skinny". She constantly mentions her weight and I know is a source of insecurity for her. She is 15. I already hugged her, told her she is beautiful, that her body does not define her and that she is still growing! But she doesn't believe me…
This is a little embarrassing, since I am 26 and should know better, but I always struggled with the way I perceived myself. I still struggle with my image, but I take antidepressants and now I just don't care lol
I just…. have no idea how to make my sister feel better. I want to be the person that I needed when I was young and struggling with self love…
I guess I'm asking for advice on what to tell her? Or how can I try to make it better for her?? I know there is no magic trick to love yourself…
i'm not trying to be defeatist or discouraging, but i would think back to when you yourself were 15. the alienation and shame and, often, low self esteem that comes with such an uncertain time, even for the most well adjusted teenage girl with a solid support network. most girls around this age just get embarrassed or cringe when older female family members lay on the positivity and praise in a way where you can tell they're trying to help you (not calling you old, you're definitely not. but you are in a different stage of life than she is, and it may seem like a huge divide to her from where she is at. the "you couldn't possibly understand" mindset) unfortunately, a more subtle approach works better for pretty much any teenager, let alone a teen girl when it comes to matters of body image. talk is cheap, and it can feel reminiscent of a mom or grandma telling you how beautiful and what a catch you are. i know you mean what you are telling her and it's coming from a place of kindness and love, but it can feel patronizing or insincere/pitying when you are in that stage of life. i have younger sisters, one of them is the same age as yours is right now. i can't change her mind about anything (no matter how concerning), i can only tactfully approach things and hope that she will see my perspective sooner rather than later.
this isn't to infantilize them or make them out to be petulant or stupid, i was this way too, so was everyone i know; it's a part of growing. it might help to encourage her to do activities with you that will help boost her self image and self esteem, though. gardening has been proven to improve body image, and the microbes in the soil can create a mild antidepressant effect when exposed to the bare skin. light exercise together, not at a gym but something that lifts the mood or that you can get silly with. maybe drive out to a gorgeous rural area and take a hike or walk through the woods or a meadow or something if social distancing is important to you. if not, you can find lovely neighbourhoods with enormous gardens and old trees to stroll through. this part isn't directly linked to body image, but if you have any neat skills you could teach her (even if you secretly teach them to yourself first just to pass them along and bond over engaging in them together) that does wonders for self esteem. i don't know if she works or if her school is having in person classes atm, but structure and finding a sense of purpose in the everyday things really go a long way.
maybe you could look up some high protein recipes she might enjoy and make them together before doing some casual exercise. that could help her put on muscle and "fill out", but it's the sense of belonging and purpose that would probably help a lot more.
sorry for the overly long post, i just got sentimental about my baby sisters as i was typing it out and got carried away.
Someone can definitely be too skinny, bonelords aren't cute ana chan. Not that 15 year olds should be worrying about their body too much to begin with unless they have health issues, being a twig isn't a big deal because teens burn calories like crazy while they grow.
I bet anon's sister is being overly influenced by photoshopped and plastic bodies on instagram, that shit is toxic
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I just want to thank you all for the replies, I love lolcow>>147752
Thank you! I think the perspective of how you don't expect people to be perfect all the time is a good thing to bring up next time we talk! >>147753
I appreciate a lot you taking the time to write all this, you sound really sweet and caring. She definitely feels like I'm lying to her out of love, and that is why I was so confused on how to approach her on this. I try to be as straightforward as possible, but you are completely right, it needs to come from a different place. All your ideas sound lovely. She has talked about protein so I think learning to cook high protein snacks and food is an excellent idea! We could pick up Just Dance a little more, since she likes it and its good exercise! She actually has been working out by herself and she wants me to do it with her but I'm lazy. But Just Dance is fun. Thank you for your insight!>>147754
What the other anon said. It seems the current "hot body" is being curvy. Which is interesting since I always wanted to be as skinny as possible lol different generations.
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Anons, I need your help. I really want to flee from my shitty 3rd world country. The main problem is that I don't have a degree (I'm 23 btw), but idk if a degree from this trash country would even be valid or matter in the rest of the world. Everyone tells me I should get a degree before I try to leave, but tbh I'm probably closer to getting raped/killed to be robbed/kidnapped by the police/etc than to getting a degree. Also I will be around my 30s by the time I (hopefully) finish my studies and the idea is to start a new life somewhere else while I'm at my 20s.
Does anyone know where I could move to? Any ideas? Info? Advice? I'm latina but I'm white passing. Tbh cleaning houses in a decent country sounds way, waaaaay more tempting that trying to get a degree here, only to end up being killed or trafficked or whatever on my way to my probably extremely shitty job. Please you have no idea how hopeless I am here, every bit of information you can give me is extremely appreciated!
I co-wrote this. Though I believe I may be some sort of schizoid since I just grow socially apathetic rather than insecure. Other people consistently interest me but I can't be assed to interact with them after a while. It's just tiring.
Maybe try rewarding yourself when you successfully interact, like with a favourite snack or something. I'm considering this technique in future.
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Not sure if this is quite the right thread but I can't find one relating to this, vagina thread and the stupid questions thread doesn't quite fit since I don't know if it's necessarily stupid and it's more of a girl talk thing. TMI warning.
This may seem stupid, but there are stories of women who never even realized they were pregnant until it was far too late, so I'm really worried.
Last had sex 2 months ago with my boyfriend who was confirmed sterile after sterilization in 2019- had not retested since that date. I was on birth control at the time as well. Have had my period twice now since then- I'm literally on my period right now. And they're dark red-brown, very thick consistent bleeding, clots, cramps, everything my period usually is- not really what I consider pregnancy bleeding.
Mother keeps telling me "I need to make sure you're not pregnant" so she bought me 2 ClearBlue blue dye tests.
I took one, and within the 10 min time frame, it was entirely negative. Took a picture of it too. I ended up looking at it again a few hours later since I forgot to throw it out, and it had the tiniest, faintest little positive line on it. I start freaking out.
Yes, anything out of the 10 min window is "invalid" but fuck me, every time I google about it, it's a bunch of pregnant women/middle-aged moms being all excited about "omg you're totally positive! congrats!"
I'm taking another one tomorrow morning, same brand, if it does it again should I be worried? Should I get another brand and keep trying? If I would have conceived 1 1/2 to 2 months ago, the pregnancy test would have almost no chance of showing a false negative- my HCG levels would be too high at this point in pregnancy, right? And I even had my period twice..
God, anons, help me. I can't safely have children despite being fertile and I don't know if I'm worrying over nothing when the test is showing me a faint line.. even if it's hours later.
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It might be an evaporation line? Just make sure you follow all the user directions correctly the second time to be sure.
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I thought it might be an evaporation line from sitting out for a few hours- but everywhere is like, "it should be gray/colorless" whereas mine was blue just very very light (and one side was darker than the other). Seems like ClearBlue has an issue with this. But then reading all the pregnant women being all, "I thought it was an evaporation line but I was actually pregnant!" freaked me out. But it did appear many hours later.. so it's gotta be that. Thank you anon, will double check the instructions next time too>>148162
Thank you anon, I can get really scared of getting pregnancy as it would be difficult to get an abortion- and having a child could kill me at worst, disfigure me at best, and I don't want the child to grow up without a mother or a disabled mother. Next test I take I'm just going to throw the damn thing away in time before I start freaking out again. Rationally I realize the chance of pregnancy here is so low that I'd be more likely to be mauled by my cat in my sleep. Thank you anon for reassuring me!
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Hey anons, please help, is this cellulite? Totally looks like it but I've never had any major weight loss/gain, I watch my diet, I exercise (maybe not enough?). Does anti-cellulite creams work or is it a waste of money?
Yes it is. The skin on top of the muscle is saggy and has some fat.
I run approx 30km a week(plus walking everywhere) and I also have that shit (you cant see it unless the sun is right above, Im sure in your case is the same way). I bought a "tightening" cream and it hasnt worked for me (maybe you can find one that does, if so lmk ).>>148151
Its an evaporation line. Dont worry about it. Next time after the alloted time, check the results and throw the darned thing away!
God I'm so happy to hear I'm not the only one.
I don't like self-diagnosing but damn I didn't really know what it was until now but something clicked when I read up on it
Pavlov-ing it sounds like a great idea but I'm not sure how effective it would be. As ironic as this sounds, are you willing to talk on discord or something? I'll totally understand if you ghost me forever at a random point, I just wanna hear your experiences with this bs.
Thanks but I hate my calves- they are huuuge because of running.
Btw I read before that you can also "brush" that part of the legs with a dry brush in a circular motion to try to help tighten the skin. I know theres a name to this but I cant think of it right now.
i'm the same way anons. i don't wanna get too vent-y but god it sucks and has destroyed almost all my friendships. i'm alone as shit.
its normally not a conscious effort on my part, i just forget to respond because i really don't use my phone anymore. i deleted all my social media a while back and i do all my internet browsing on my laptop. def not normal zoomer behavior, but i'm working on it.
what's helped me is just setting up specific times to check my phone and it's become a habit now. when i had more friends and more unread texts i'd write "reply to texts" on a to-do list lol. but lists in general help me so idk if that'd work for you. hope you guys figure it out
Oh my god, are you me?
What helped for me was making friends at work, so like, I HAD to reply to whatever their message was on the off chance that their message was important. Giving an external motivation really helped, even though I still fucked up from time to time.
This sense of urgency slowly spilled over to my not-work friends and while I still have really bad days, I remember how shit it is to be all alone and I try to reply as best I can.>>148205
anon give us a way to contact you and maybe we can be friends! :)
I prefer my own company to anybody else's but I also still get lonely. Tbh I play those LoFi MuSiC BeaT tO ReLaX tO in the background, play a dumb comfort show like friends on the background, or watch some silly youtube on drama (I hate everyone involved in these situations and think they're all idiots but I love a 1hr video like edwin/dasha throwing shit at eachother like monkeys) also I make my living space really cozy so the loneliness almost feels comfortable if that makes sense.
However, it sounds like you are actually a social person who needs the contact. Any reason you don't feel you have anyone to talk to? Is it an anxiety thing or your circumstances?
Lmao I also love watching those drama videos, even if I rarely know all of the parties involved. I think I'll just put some buzz in the bg while I try to study.
I feel like I crave contact with other people but whenever I get the opportunity to talk I don't take it. Which is why I don't have any friends, because I never tried making any. I feel like no one would be interested in what I have to say or what I think so I prefer not to talk at all and waste people's time who are just listening to me to be polite and it just makes me feel embarassed to even think about talking and saying stuff… does that make sense? So I am usually alone, which I mostly don't mind. I actually prefer it. Apart from times like these. >>148217
Maybe I should make a discord acc and add anons from here? I've been thinking about it but I've never had online friends so I have no idea how it would go…
You should definitely do that anon!
Anons I've made a small discord server for us to talk to each other and make friends (besides the friend finder discord)
All are welcome! https://discord.gg/rzavEyh
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A black friend of mine added me to a server recently that has a lot of his own friends on it. It hasn't even been two days and they're already sperging about the wypipo in general, mayo and eggshell shittalking, and talking about how they'd bodyslam "whiteys making ethnic food". It really annoys me, and makes me uncomfortable as a white eurofag that just has to sit there and read this bullshit.
I don't wanna be there anymore, but I don't know how to leave without it being suspicious. I've known this dude for a year and it's mostly him messaging me first, so I really don't know how to approach this, since in a way I don't wanna be his friend anymore either after seeing how he thinks of a group I belong to. Should I just abandon the discord account and slowly disappear?
youtube and google have tons of dumbed down content about this.
look up "beginner abs workout" (spoiler: it's probably gonna be too hard at first, just do half or a quarter or take longer breaks). there are also sheets on google but those are a bit harder to commit to than trying to match someone in a video, imo.
but look up how to do proper crunches etc. you could cause back pain if you do it badly.
What are ab exercises gonna do when there's a layer of fat covering them? Can't spot reduce.
It sounds like anon just has an apple shaped body and will lose weight from her stomach last. Sucks to be so close to underweight but normal diet advice (caloric deficit + lifting) applies here.
I’m sure that, being 5 pounds away from underweight, anon’s stomach isn’t actually so fucking fat that she wouldn’t be able to see even slight muscle definition
But yeah, building muscle & losing fat would help
Need some non-romantic relationship advice. About 4 months ago I did something really shit and hurt a friend, who no longer wants to interact with me, and fair enough. A mutual friend of ours had a real go at me and I apologised, but said it would be better to speak about this in person. She didn’t respond to me, but I wasn’t expecting an immediate answer. I asked if she would meet up with me a week or so later, and nothing. Some personal events she knew about happened during that time and now, like my birthday and starting a new job, and I heard nothing from her. I assumed our friendship was over too and just left it. Now suddenly I’ve just got a message asking when I can meet her to talk. Thing is, I’ve now moved on and…I don’t want to talk to her? Would I be a raging cunt to say that? Am I obligated now to meet her? Our friendship will definitely be less moving forward because she’s mutual with the girl I hurt, so should I just let it go, or is that the irresponsible thing to do? I’m genuinely not sure, I just want to be done with this horrible saga and work on myself and my life.
It’s fine anon, we live in a very different time compared to our parents. They want to help you, and arguably should help you considering you are their child and that’s what good parents do. Let them. It would be one thing if you were choosing to take their cash when you could already easily provide for yourself, but that’s not the case here.
I asked my mother if I could move back in with her in my late 20s after a divorce and I didn’t want to spent like 80% of my income on a shitty apartment close to my job. When I had more of a financial float and was stable, I moved back out. I felt guilty initially but she was honestly happy to have me around again and it prevented me from struggling 100x more at the time.
That being said, I’m not sure why you need to go through all the trouble of relocating. Are there no jobs that at least pay minimum wage in your area?
Sure, there's plenty of jobs. But my goal is to move out, be back in normal society again, and do something that looks good on my resume. Working a minimum wage at the grocery store while risking catching coronavirus doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
I like the idea of going somewhere exotic like Alaska, and apparently covid levels are really low in the community I'm in so I'll have a better chance of connecting with people without worrying about getting sick. I think my job would seem kind of meh for my resume, but anything with Americorps looks better than a minimum wage job, and I think it would look good with grad school.
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So, I bought a brand new pair of Doc Martens last month, in the Jadon style, a size up from my regular size. I've worn them on a date walking around a park for 3 hours, I've worn them inside all day, to the store, and just lounging around, but I just can't seem to break them in and make them stop hurting. Every time I wear them, I wear a thick pair of men's socks folded over my heels, but it doesn't seem to work, and my ankles are fucked because of it. I've even worn band aids because of it, but it doesn't seem to help. Do any doc-owning anons have any advice for how to break them in so they stop fucking my ankles? I'll do anything at this point, they're too cute and expensive to not wear them.
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Here's a crown for being such a queen anon, I didn't expect such a detailed how-to! I'm going to try everything you said, I can't stand the idea of putting these in the back of my closet just because they hurt.
It's really unlikely someone will just stumble into cp and recognize you anon. If you have some enemy or something i would be more worried, but something that could help is to think about the worst case scenario and see there is not much you can do. Wheter you live in fear and avoid talking to people or going to uni or you enjoy your experience up to that point, it might happen anyway. But by worrying yourself to the point of not being able to breathe you end up suffering in advance and probably needlessly. Does that make sense?
Also you can build strong friendships with good people who will stay by your side even if the worst happens, i assume you live somewhere more conservative too but young people are much more understanding and chances are you will meet someone who was abused/groomed in some way as well.
You won't have to kill yourself anon, if worst comes to worst and literally everyone in town hates your guts for something you did as a groomed teen, you can aways move somewhere it won't be a problem. You can aways start over somewhere else, so please hang on.
This will come across as stupid but I never thought about how much I'm needlessly worrying right now for something that might not even happen. Like me thinking about all the 'what if's every day isn't gonna do anything about what happens in the future. I should focus more on things that make me happy and things I can do to help my future self rather than wallow in the past. Thank you anon, I know at least one person that will be by ny side if anything happens, a cousin, and really that's good enough for now. I will do my best for my uni and I will try not to say no to new experiences out of fear and paranoia. I appreciate you anon.>>150769
You're right that the chances are really, really low. I wouldn't say my name was attached for the most part, only about 2 men knew my actual name but they are so far away that I don't think they can do anything. It sucks to never know if someone has those files in their harddrive or something but it is not in my control and so, worrying about it is useless. I hope anything I shared and anything that was shared without my knowledge will become long forgotten in the sea of the internet. I will remember your reply whenever I get extremely paranoid. Thank you, you're very kind.
I'm still pissed 15 years layer, despite one of them being dead for a while now.
It took 5 years for me to find out the reason why this couple I was tight with ghosted me, and it had absolutely nothing to do with me, while I spent years wondering what did I do wrong. I'm pissed they could just drop me one day like that, I'm pissed I was given no explanation, I'm pissed it was for no good reason, I'm ashamed I was tricked into thinking they are my friends.
I have no problem feeling this way, those feelings are adequate, and it's not like I think about it often.
Is there any way I can help my mother? My mom is a really depressed, suicidal person with extreme anger issues. I don't blame her because her life has been awful to her. My dad left her a month before I was born so she has been taking care of me and my sister alone in an extremely sexist, dangerous country. Back when she was with her husband her life was awful due to her MIL. Now, she's barely living, just an empty person, she doesn't have friends, she stays home all day and does nothing, cries a lot, lashes out a lot. Throws things, breaks things. I've asked her to maybe join some gym or some cookung group and make friends, maybe grt therapy, but she refuses. She's getting fatter and sadder. I love her so much and I just want her to be happy.
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Should I keep being friends with green? Conversations go like this all the fucking time and I'm honestly tired of it.
Green can't take one single fucking comment of mine without just ruining the moment or responding in a very literal way.
If someone said "I feel useless" the appropriate response is "You're not" right? Am I fucking retarded?
Looks like a drained person who would rather waste hours of whining because it brings them attention rather than actually becoming a better version of yourself.
Honestly, I would drop it. I've been used by these kinds of people a lot and they are just ungrateful shits who think that the only way to get attention is to always whine, whine and whine.
she certainly seems
>>151460>they are just ungrateful shits who think that the only way to get attention is to always whine, whine and whine.
holy shit anon you've just articulated why I can't with this kind of person. A friend from my old friend group was like this, but only to me, always bitching and complaining about her life and it killed my mood constantly, made me feel like I couldn't share or enjoy anything good in her company. I finally snapped and dumped her, and holy shit I got so much backlash from it from the group because they all only got her soft uwu persona who was sad enough to keep them pitying her but not draining enough for them to actually resent her.
God sorry for the rant but becoming someones emotional shitting ground is an awful position to be in.
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Glad to hear I'm not alone. I wish there was some sort of easy fix. I keep trying to leave my fingers alone so I can finally go to the nail salon now that some are open again, but I don't even realize when I'm picking again. And those techs are never shy about pointing out issues you have.
I'm not trying to play devil's advocate for an asshole, obviously I know nothing about this guy, but I just want to say that I've met some good men (and women, for that matter) who aren't really on board with "feminism" for legit reasons. I think for a lot of people it depends on how it's defined. Feminism used to be about important shit, like suffrage and the ability to have a job outside the home and not allowing marital rape. Now there's been a lot of pushing for completely banal agendas like free the titty, use whatever pronouns you like, the #MeToo leader is a rapist herself, etc. Johnny Depp was accused of being abusive
and nearly gets "cancelled" then it turns out Amber Heard is the psycho.
I'm not saying when it comes to "real" feminism that any of the original issues stopped being important, just that recent topics like this have watered down that original purpose for a lot of people. Sometimes to the point where it seems many self-purported feminists believe women are always right even when the woman in question is objectively a piece of shit or hurting other women. So someone may believe "men and women deserve equal treatment and opportunities" but still not identify as a feminist due to all this.
There's so much black and white thinking in the world right now, I believe it's beneficial to actually stop and listen to someone when they communicate an opinion that might seem negative at first. Most people's views are more measured and moderate than they express, but because people have this tendency to immediately lash out and shut down whenever it seems their own views are in question, decent discussions are hard to come by. Maybe/hopefully the guy you've been talking to is a decent person if you probe a bit deeper, and you could help expand his perspective while also learning where he's coming from?
And honestly, especially around here on lolcow, I see a lot of radfem "down with men, all scrotes are evil" talk. It can make this place feel like a little sanctuary when you've dealt with a lot of misogyny, but in the long-term it's really disheartening and pushes the idea that all men are terrible monsters when they really aren't. Please don't get trapped in a bubble of bad news and let it bring you down to such a desperate point, anon. It's true there are a lot of bad people out there, but there's also a lot of good. Try to focus on pulling some of that into your life as well.
Thank you for your suggestion about the therapy anon, I think maybe normalizing therapy and seeking help might make her less reluctant to try it herself. Like, for now she only sees therapy as something that crazy people require and while I try to make her understand that's not the case, but firmly held beliefs are hard to dissuade. I still think she might budge on it someday. It's hard seeing her so stagnant and lifeless sometimes. Thank you for the sympathies anon, I really just want her happy.>>151383>>151384
I have tried to get her become more physically active, like going on walks together everyday and exercising with her etc, and that does make her happy. But her motivation is so fickle, she has been trying to lose weight for years but gives up in a week every time. I suppose food makes her happy. I will try to help her out as much as I can even though it gets really hard sometimes because talking to her is such a test, anything can set her off. Thank you anons for lending me an ear.
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Left a friend group a year ago. I still think about them and cry a lot to this day. I'm undergoing therapy and meds. I don't know if I'm improving. I don't know if I should go back since I was the major problem in the group. Any advice?
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Thanks for listening. I hope the guy you’re talking to just has a more nuanced perspective and isn’t a jerk. But it makes me think of this director… if you don’t know the story, she made the recent Netflix movie “Cuties” about the sexualization of girls. Sadly, the way it was shot was very exploitive and essentially an exact copy of the media she was supposedly against. Then she goes and calls the movie feminist lol. It feels like the title has lost so much meaning and been very diminished over time. I do still personally call myself a feminist despite people like this claiming the same, but I understand why others have distanced themselves from the word and feel it’s no longer an adequate term. Take care of yourself anon!
Anons, I need advice. This girl in my friend group, have known her for 6 years.
> Used to be super close, especially when I was depressed and suicidal. I was addicted to an MMO and she enabled that, sometimes hanging out with her to play with another person in the room was the only irl social interaction I got all week. She would reach out sometimes when I went AWOL.
> I get intensive therapy and oops, only now I notice she's also been depressed and suicidal all along??? I try to be a better friend.
> She has a fall out with my roommate, I intend to remain friends with both but she pulls back from our friendship. She talks a lot of shit about my roommate, 90% of the time. I don't tell her off but don't go along with it either, just change the subject. (I'm no longer friends with the ex-roommate)
> Friend starts getting medication for her chronic illness, starts getting therapy for her traumatic upbringing. She shares absolutely zero about this with me. All the other girls in the friend group know, though.
> Every few weeks/months I try to make an effort and check in and hang out one on one, especially if she's cancelling on all the group's plans. She sees the other girls in our group weekly. She never reaches out to me first.
Fast forward to a couple of months ago. She REALLY pissed me off in a specific discussion while we were on a trip. I'm very uwu sensitive but also more confident because of therapy so instead of placating her I tell her she's being mean and run away crying like the confident kween I am. She doesn't apologize but is extra-friendly rest of the trip, even makes me play that MMO on her phone for a bit when the others leave us alone 'to talk things out' (we didn't talk anything out).
I haven't heard from her directly since the group trip. She's been to a few group hangouts but she cancels often because she's ill. She cancelled today and I'm wondering if I should reach out again and see if she wants a cup of tea just one on one next week.
Being her friend is honestly exhausting because our personalities are SO different now. I'm sure she thinks the same of me.
>>151662 >I was depressed and suicidal >I didn't even notice friend also been depressed and suicidal all along >I'm no longer friends with my ex-roommate >I'm very uwu sensitive but also more confident because of therapy >I tell her she's being mean and run away crying > I still don’t know how I could’ve handled that better
I honestly can't tell if this post is real or if it's someone larping as a BPDer
If it is real I don't even know what advice could be given, stay in therapy?
How old are you, anon-chan… You really need to get some work done with your therapist and give yourself some space from such… Well, triggering
people if they do trigger
you that much.
Regardless of the reasons, don't have sex so early on. A lot of people are looking to hook up and that's it. If you want to find someone you actually like as a person and have chemistry with, give you (and them) time to open up naturally. Don't feel like you have to rush things. If you find a good guy then he'll be willing to wait.
And why should it all be on you to be the charming, flirty one? Maybe it's not you but them. If these hot guys had an ounce of social prowess then perhaps they could contribute more and make the conversations fun themselves.
That sounds pretty batshit but the fact that she did go ahead and block you at the time.. she maybe does believe you said something dodgy? Sounds like some bpd level coping mechanism. Shitting on you before you get the chance to reject her or screw her over? Maybe she just loves drama and sympathy
> i also know for a fact bf isn’t into women as large as her
I dated a guy who never stopped being mean about fat women. I'm slim but I still found it a turn off to listen to how vocal he was about his fucking preference all the time.. he cheated on me with one large woman and he's still with her to this day
Hot to deal with overthinking/catastrophizing?
My mind aways goes to the worst case scenario and makes plans for it but it's usually not enough and i keep worrying about what i will do once it arrives.
Like: >my friend wants to go hiking > oh fuck there way less people there due to corona > we will get robbed and raped > i will need meds and they might not work i might get pregnant > i won't be able to get an abortion because it's illegal > so i will kill myself > what would be the best methods > i might fail and be paralyzed
And it keeps going on and on like this, aways ending in death or some situation where i will suffer the rest of my life. It makes me want to never leave the house again and makes me do some stupid shit to protect myself.