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File: 1751401375153.jpg (48.81 KB, 453x744, 3272935762ab20e5e104484872e2f8…)

No. 583823

This thread passes the Bechdel Test. Do not center your post around the opposite sex.

If you need to vent about febfem, polilez, or horrendous experiences with bisexual women, go to this thread >>>/2X/17680

Gold Star Lesbian discussions go here >>>/g/462334

Please keep posts focused on women and female homosexuality! If you want to talk about your attraction towards the opposite gender, it probably belongs in the bisexuality thread or questioning sexuality thread (check the catalogue). Please ignore the obvious bihet/troon/tradthot/fujo/etc. ragebait as well. If you suspect a poster is XY, pls report and ignore instead of shitting up the entire thread with accusations. Newfags pls lurk and read the site rules before posting, and be careful to stay safe and anonymous (be wary of external links/discords, and be very cautious about the personal details you include in your posts).

Topics of discussion may include but are not limited to:
>first crush?
>what’s your local lesbian scene like?
>cute stories about your gf
>favourite lesbian media? lesbian media you hate?
>coming out stories
>are there any cows you’d uhaul with?
>bitch about being lonely
>tips for coping with being lonely
>butch? femme? how do you feel about labels?
>what's your type?
>when did you know you were gay?
>f/f fanfic and book recs (pls)
>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? which ones don’t fit you at all?
>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? a girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?
>what do you wanna be like as an old lady lesbian?
>get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etc.
>best date/match? worst?
>how homophobic are your family/friends? is it woke homophobia or old-school homophobia?
>dating app horror stories
>everything we hate about every other online lesbian community
>lesbian friends, role models, or family members you appreciate
>lesbian history, literature, and politics

previous threads:
#1 – >>>/g/132141
#2 – >>>/g/174105
#3 – >>>/g/200981
#4 – >>>/g/247377
#5 – >>>/g/273508
#6 – >>>/g/296902
#7 – >>>/g/321065
#8 – >>>/g/350481
#9 – >>>/g/377964
#10 – >>>/g/391273 (fixed link)
#11 – >>>/g/416206
#12 – >>>/g/437641
#13 – >>>/g/459210

No. 583851

Adorable threadpic

No. 584316

all the lesbian spaces that rightfully don’t tolerate troon shit become conservative. they refuse to concede that lesbians do have a culture (it varies from different regions but it is a real thing). they basically hate anything that isn’t two femmes of the same age. and god forbid if either one uses a strap.

No. 584363

>>584316
Agreed its super frustrating

No. 584598

Do any of you have TMJ and have tips for eating a woman out? I am worried I won't be able to do it for long without my jaw hurting. But maybe there is a technique I am just not aware of? Should I pop an ibuprofen first?

No. 584610

>>584316
I've been thinking about this as a friend of mine has started somewhat peaking recently. She keeps asking me if I know where she can find a place online that's actual lesbian only but isn't bogged down in 24/7 gendie hate or otherwise shifting to conservatism and I can't think of a single one. Every place I know that doesn't tolerate gender bullshit ends up being full of the most miserable women on earth who use whatever place they've found as a dumping ground for all their anger or sadness. I wish it wasn't the case.

No. 584611

Vacationing rn in a small city in Mexico and yesterday I saw 4 lesbian couples when I was on a walk and it surprised me they were all femmes and thin (and so many lesbians in such a short amount of time too!). If it had been my shitty town they would have been fatsos for sure. The most obese country in the world has less obese lesbians than the US. Why. I also miss my trip to Italy because I saw cute thin lesbians there as well (as expected because Europe). I hate that lesbians around me are usually fat or obese.

No. 584653

>>584611
It's not a lesbian thing, everyone is fat.

No. 584707

>>584611
The lesbians around you are usually fat and obese because the people around you are fat and obese.

No. 584722

/r/butchlesbians is so depressing.

No. 584766

>>584722
why, whats wrong? i don't use reddit.

No. 584768

how do you guys date? i'm new to dating and have been keeping it to casual dating and hookups, but i want a deeper connection and it seems so hard to find other lesbians who share my values. it feels like everyone is either a gendie, TRA, or fakebian. is it my area? are lesbians like us really not the norm, or are we just forced to keep our beliefs hush hush? where are you guys finding lesbian spaces that don't cater to troons off the internet?

No. 584773

File: 1751677411204.jpg (1.1 MB, 2460x3300, the state of.jpg)

>>584766
Encouraging GNC women to mutilate themselves, fat worship, sexual trauma obvious from every post, etc

No. 584776

>>584773
I'm so confused about the wedding photo one. Is her wife a little person (genuinely). And fuck these stupid dysphoric drawings, the anime girl in them isn't even butch. Where the fuck can we go.

No. 584780

File: 1751680433887.jpeg (790.68 KB, 1179x1448, IMG_3792.jpeg)

I miss my wife

No. 584782

>>584768
What you wanna do is to date people who 1. Have a job 2. Work or study towards a money-making field.
The more focused on the material, the less likely people are to be into any of the pathological empathy stuff. I've met some cool women in economics, engineering, sales and stuff like that, though I wasn't looking for serious dating. Avoid academia, social work or anything adjacent. They will tend to be quite apolitical, which you may see as a plus. But take into account that they likely have little to non lesbian/bisexual "identity" so to say.

Now you tell me, how do you get hookups? kek

No. 584825

Has anyone else resigned themselves to the very likely possibility of being a kissless hugless virgin for life and never knowing the touch of a woman? I live in a pretty conservative area, my family & most people I know are old-school religiously homophobic, and if anyone found out that I was into women I feel like my life would fall apart and I would have nothing. It would be a complete disaster. I’m too afraid to ever do anything close to flirting or showing romantic interest in a woman, let alone getting into a relationship, because I’ve done a mental cost-benefit analysis and have decided that the possible repercussions are too high. Also, I don’t know if I would even be able to get a woman who I’m attracted to. I’m not ugly, but I’m not that hot either, I’m pretty average looking, solid 5/10. Most women are heterosexual, so I have a reduced dating pool because of that. Not to mention I’m socially awkward, have no game, cant make eye contact, & don’t know anything about sex. The risk of embarrassment or inadequacy during sex w/ a woman, which would result in her losing all respect for me, is another reason to not try to find a relationship.
In summary, the risks:
>getting outed
>public embarrassment after being rejected
>failing at sex
>relationship drama/possibility of toxic relationship
>inability to deal with someone else’s emotional needs
do not outweigh the possible rewards:
>sexual pleasure
>emotional fulfillment & connection w/ another person
Anyway, despite all of that stuff, I focus on a lot of other things in life (academics, hobbies, my fledgling career, etc.) and I have goals I want to achieve and hopes and plans for the future. I don’t have a large social circle, but I have good relationships with the few people I’m close with. So overall I feel pretty good about my life. It’s just that being with a woman is not part of my expectations for life, and I’ve mostly made peace with that. Most of the time, I don’t think about it at all because I have other stuff going on. I feel worse about it when I obsess over it and make it a big deal when it’s really not. A real life relationship might not live up to my fantasies and expectations of what I want anyway. I’d rather have nothing than a disappointment

No. 584836

>>584773
>sexual trauma obvious from every post
Are you talking about the post on the top right? I don't really see anything wrong with it besides maybe giving off spicy straight "I'm so cool boys I like boobies like you do". Boobs can be a pain in the ass with sweating, back pain etc.

No. 584842

>>584836
It’s literally tagged with “dysphoria”

No. 584844

>>584836
She's saying
>Nooo it's not that I hate boobs!! So don't remove them, ladies, you're so sexy!! Ahaa.
>But due to sexual abuse and harassment inflicted upon me by a certain sex leading me to think my body is the problem and not the subhumans who acted like sex pests, I do want to remove mine.
>Tagged Dysphoria
>941 upvotes

No. 584875

>>584825
Oh, please. Awkward average looking women have been fucking each other and falling in love for thousands of years. You are not a uniquely unsexy lesbian, sorry.

>The risk of embarrassment or inadequacy during sex w/ a woman, which would result in her losing all respect for me,

What even is this mindset. If you met a woman and had sex with her, and she didn't know what to do because she's a virgin, Would you lose all respect for her? You need to get out of your head and go join a pickleball team or something.

No. 584885

>>584773
What happened to butches who like deadlifting or just exercise in general? Butches with arms that can choke you out are just peak. Like I don't mind a thicker girl but there's a difference between thick and morbidly obese.

No. 584886

>>584825
>I’d rather have nothing than a disappointment
And yet you are here seeking validation that you've made the right choice. Just stop. Go and make a lot of friends because you'll need non-homophobic ones for when you come out and settle down.

No. 584890

>>584825
Anon you sound fragile as fuck. I also haven't dated or slept with anyone but I don't sit around and make excuses for it. There just wasn't anyone who caught my eye and I put it on the back burner but I know full well even if it is scary I am putting myself out there. You honestly almost sound like a gay version of those incels especially "I'd rather have nothing than a disappointment" like wtf? We all are gonna be disappointed in some way that is just fucking life. I sympathize but if you think any of us are gonna support your pity party bs than fuck no. You don't wanna date fine thats on you, but your laundry list of reasons are flimsy at best. No girl worth her salt isn't gonna lose all respect over something like a lack of experience jfc

No. 584913

Finally found a lesbian who shares a lot of interests with me, is funny, cute, and smart… But she said she's in love with me. We met a month ago and only had two dates. How can I ever reach her point of interest when she's already talking about settling down and I don't even know her too much. She's on her early 30s too, not a teenager (and was even married for years).
Is it better to break it off before I hurt her or allow myself to know her more? I've never been so out of sync with a woman before. I've always matched my exes when it came to this, being casual with someone casual and being crazy in love with someone crazy in love. Whenever I talk about this with someone they just go "haha u-haul lesbians" but I think it's so out of place for her to be so decided about me.

No. 584919

>>584913
Sounds like lovebombing. Even if she’s not intentionally being manipulative she’s at least very emotionally immature and codependent. Tbh the healthiest thing for you to do is to cut her out of your life. I doubt she’d take a breakup well enough to just be friends. I’ve seen and experienced this scenario too many times. Just remove her from your life. You’ve only known her a month and she could get weird. She’s already proving she is.

No. 584922

>>584913
Initially I was thinking just have a talk with her about how you're feelings aren't meshing and she's moving way too fast for you but then I thought about it more and it feels really creepy to be that invested after 2 dates like wtf. U-haul lesbian shit is just jokes anyone pulling that shit in real life is having a bigger personal problem they need to deal with. Block her and pretend if you see her out in the wild.

No. 584924

>>584913
You should try communicating your exact worries! "we're really compatible, but I'm a little scared by hearing "love" this early. I feel like we're out of sync. Can we take this more slowly? It's important to me not to rush things, and honestly a dealbreaker. I'd want to end things before I hurt you if you need things to go this fast" like best case scenario is that she understands completely and agrees and you get exactly what you want. and you sound so reasonable that I think there is a really good chance this happens. medium case scenario is that you hurt her feelings but reach some kind of compromise. worst case scenario is that you break up, which is something you want to do already, so it isn't that bad of a worst case scenario. try talking!

No. 584929

>>584919
>>584922
Thank you, I've been considering this because it really feels like now I should match her interest or cut it before it gets weird for both of us. Which is sad because in my head all the normal steps of getting to know someone would be wonderful with her but that's just my imagination. The worst thing is that I actually did what >>584924 said on the second date because it was already feeling too forward for me. It was a serious conversation about boundaries and going too fast, even too serious for a second date kek in which I was sure we compromised and she understood, because we hooked up and it was fun and friendly. But after that day I started receiving the most loving and basically commited messages (and even some jealousy). I'm glad you three gave me serious advice instead of repeating that lesbians are always too fast because that always makes me feel pressured to not date normally and wait for love to come around first.

No. 584950

how do i stop letting homophobia get to me?

No. 584969

Anyone struggling with separation anxiety from their gfs?
Mine travels a lot between work and family/friend trips (about half the month) and we live together. I've been really struggling with this, even though I fill my time alone with friends and hobbies I still feel like shit every time. She knows about it, nothing to be done because it's her work and her family lives abroad and she used to travel even more before I came into the picture. We know it won't be like this forever, and obviously I'm not gonna leave her, so how do I cope in the meantime?

No. 584972

I'm getting married in 3 weeks. My mom has said to me that she will never be happy for me and she regrets the day I was born. It really hurts to not have her support and I've been crying for weeks and my fiancé is getting upset too that I'm not able to put it aside and enjoy our run up to our wedding. We will probably have less than 18 people show up between us, and I think I sorta feel ashamed about it and wish we eloped, but we've already spend 8k.

No. 584973

>>584598
i take breaks by kissing her thighs or going slower

No. 584976

>>584972
I know it's hard when it's your own mom but her opinions are worthless, let her seethe in her own misery all she wants and be happy with your soon to be wife nona. I hope you have a great wedding

No. 584984

>>584972
(I'm about to go to bed so this may be all over the place)

My sister and her wife had the same amount at their wedding including me, the dance floor was so empty I gathered the children (on her wife's side of the family) and taught them how to dance kpop moves kek (and because the DJ had only a selection of licensed music I couldn't request any kpop, so we were all dancing to Britney and Abba and Baby Shark) my sister and I are not close but I think she was grateful for that kek.

Rejection from family is rough, my dad and both sets of grandparents have all established they won't be coming to my future wedding either. It's schizo behaviour, for context mine kept bringing up how they felt disgusted or disappointed. One would even ask me to do a job for her, and then hold money in one hand while telling me "I don't believe two women can be a family! And should not be allowed to have children!" She knew I was struggling with money after cutting off support and yet had the audacity to behave like that, I was naive enough to think her hiring me was her way of reconciling but then would bait and switch and act homophobic. She would attempt do this sort of thing often in my teens and early 20s, in general my grandparents made themselves very hateable and I no longer speak to them of course. One grandpa even offered a lot of money to my mum for him to stay in her flat (that I was also living in) so he could avoid hotel prices, but then he went and attempted to hit me during an argument so she called it off. Homophobic people are not emotionally balanced and have warped social standards.

It will be endlessly frustration if they decide to keep in contact and act like nothing happened (my dad tries this despite being aware of how my grandma acted), or they very well may die alone and stuck in their ways (2 grandparents already have, and we did not exchange words on their death beds or anything), even my friend abroad's mother is behaving self righteously homophobic and now none of her kids will speak to her, and despite being siblings they all struggle to speak to one another because all they know is pain. (My friend has a long-term girlfriend and her brother is gay, unsure about her sister)

Which is why it's actually good that you're able to put words to your feelings. This experience you are going through is currently very highly emotionally charged, but doesn't mean it will be this way forever, nor is it the be all end all for you because you now have the world together with your wife. You have these opportunities to build new relationships and not end up like my friend's siblings who feel disconnected from one another.

Even during the times where you feel like an injured animal licking its own wounds, I'd suggest angrily writing down your feelings or making voice-recordings on your phone of yourself crying or yelling your frustrations out (which I have found quite effective). You want to aim for a balance of activities to distract you, and letting out your feelings when appropriate. You may become hypersensitive and on edge at the slightest thing anyone says, but be aware that is just the unregulated adrenaline and you don't want to be misdirecting your rage onto unsuspecting people. Any time I felt overwhelmed with people I excused myself to a toilet and then ranted in my notes app or voice recorder. These little things kept me sane. At the time I was also dealing with a course and was scared I wasn't going to graduate.

Things turned out well. I believe they will turn out well for you too. I hope your wedding is full of love and you have a wonderful life nonna. Sending you hugs.

No. 584996

>>584984
Thank you for staying up to type that nonny. Your words are really helpful to me and I decided to screenshot and save them. I think you're spot on with the unregulated adrenaline. I've even thought about getting some meds for that.

>>584976
Thank you, she is very miserable indeed and it seems she was happiest when I was single, lonely and depressed but living in her house with her.

No. 585008

>>584825
Yeah. I have decided that I can be part of my family as the chill single aunty. Sounds cowardly but I would rather maintain a connection to family who care about me at the cost of being part of the lesbian community. There are no guarantees of love if I start dating so I would potentially alienate my family with not much to show for it if I came out.

No. 585037

>>584929
Glad we could help. I hope it works out for you and things go smoothly. Lesbians are just as capable of having normal, happy romances as straight people. It can just be a little harder to find other lesbians. The crazies and the noncommittal types tend to be the loudest lesbians.

No. 585038

Will I ever get over ex best friend? I made the mistake of looking at our pictures on my phone and I'm devastated all over again, two years after things fell apart. I dated someone for a few months a year ago, but it didn't go anywhere and I never felt feelings for her as deep I did from my bestie. I tell myself we would have never gone anywhere, that our friendship was doomed from the start, but I still think about her all the time. Sorry, I'm high and rambling, I just need someone to tell me that she's had the same experience with a 'romantic friendship' but was able to move on and find love again after.

No. 585078

>>584885
It is Reddit, so that could be skewing the likelihood of seeing butch women who are interested in taking care of their bodies and strength training. Public lesbian spaces being virtually extinct these days doesn't help either. No explicitly lesbo community events centered around sports, dance, theatre or anything physical means these women are likely just unaware of how wonderful it is to be in touch with your body. They haven't found, or considered, any opportunities where they'd feel comfortable exploring such things.

No. 585088

>>585008
Reading this you sound easily controllable because you'd do anything to belong. Like even if you did decide to join "the lesbian community" I can picture you getting taken in by some gendies and being made to date a transbian to prove yourself or something. Because in general your post reads "I don't have a backbone! I don't have a backbone!" Your family have clearly raised a great daughter who sacrifices her own happiness to suit their own needs.

No. 585091

>>584780
God damn, she was so hot

No. 585139

>>584913
Break it off, she should know better. If she actually loved you she would prioritize your emotions over her own. I could go on forever and every line is just worse and worse, this is the best case scenario and it is still break up worthy.

No. 585166

>>585088
You’re comparing apples and oranges here.
Caring what my family think of me is not the same as seeking validation from strangers.

No. 585176

>>585008
do your family actually care about you if they've already made it known they'd abandon you if you came out tho?

No. 585220

>>584773
This shit is so depressing. I think butch women are the hottest thing on the planet, but every single one I encounter in my area troons out in the end

No. 585237

File: 1751860872399.png (955.56 KB, 852x682, sally.png)

>>585091
need a wife like sally so bad.

No. 585263

File: 1751873455290.jpeg (1.19 MB, 1179x1665, IMG_5680.jpeg)

>>584611
latin american women are and always will be leagues above women from u.s. women, cope harder amerifatty.
>>585166
not to be rude and i'm sorry about your situation but what did you come here looking for? validation? you're advocating for a miserable and anti-lesbian life for yourself. all i can say is i hope you start putting you first, it's sad to live the 21st century like women don't have lives outside of their families. it sounds like you're a conservative/have been indoctrinated by conservative ideology

No. 585280

This breakup is hurting me so badly, she's all I can think about. I'm inconsolable, I don't know what to do.

No. 585284

>>584316
Yep. Going full on with armchair autism but based on my personal experience it's because the places that don't tolerate gendershit attract polilez trad-leaning women who are either hurt by the worst trad-leaning men (be it their dads, brothers, other men in their lives) and/or have severe mommy issues (which warps their relationship with other women) and want a safe space where they can lick their wounds, but can't leave their conservative mindset at the door. So they get grossed out by butches existing because ewww they're visibly degenerate dykes, but also have a retarded one-sided rivalry with other lesbians. Like the age-old question about dildos and straps, according to them you're not a real lesbian if you enjoy penetration despite vaginas literally being built with nerve endings to be stimulated. Just useless bickering over things that shouldn't matter and co-signing the troon gender mentality despite apparently hating it so much, but in the end them being "gendercrit" is often fueled by homophobia rather than the desire to remove gender roles altogether.

No. 585285

>>585263
I don’t think she sounded angry that they were thin, just annoyed that the US has so many fat fucks.

No. 585305

>>585284
This is still assuming the women cultivating these conditions are exclusively not real lesbians, which would be ideal, but isn't the reality. Many of the women engaging in this dumb shit and dragging everyone down with their misery and rage are actual lesbians.

No. 585321

>>585305
AYRT and I didn't mean to say they weren't lesbians except the exclusive use of polilez, sorry, that was bad communication on my part. Anyway, it's bleak that we never seem to have a chill lesbian space but instead either miserable bitches with rage issues and the only topics revolve around celebrity crushes (Who over the age of 16 gives a fuck?) and complaining.

No. 585357

>>585284
Same anon. This bitch had me blocked too so I could suffer in dignity then reeled me back in only to be a fucking coward to commitment. Fuck dating I will never again

No. 585614

Question for butch or slightly masculine nonnas: I’m into more butch leaning women and am very feminine, but my Dad is a tattoo artist and has always said he’d give me tattoos for free if I wanted and suddenly want a sleeve or something a bit edgy idk if that’s cringe but yeah I wanna look cooler. I just worry the type of woman I’m attracted to isn’t typically into girls with tattoos? I know it’s not that black and white but in general what are your thoughts, anyone here into feminine girls with Japanese dragon sleeves etc? Or am I gonna fuck up my chances when I meet the perfect butch?

No. 585618

>>585614
First of all, don’t live your life according to the imagined disgust of people you haven’t even met yet. Secondly I’ve never met a lesbian who didn’t like or have tattoos kek

No. 585620

>>585614
To me it's more about what the tattoos are portraying rather than the tattoos themselves. If they're shitty, tacky looking tattoos of embarrassing things, then yeah they'll look bad too. But if they're cool and well-done, I doubt anyone will have an actual problem.

No. 585621

>>585614
I've always thought they were especially cool on femmes. Sometimes they can be a bit of a subversion of expectations on really cute femmes too, which I find attractive. I don't think you should think about this in terms of being a potential dealbreaker though. There are all sorts of women out there who will like every part of you.

No. 585701

>>585614
100% depends on what the tattoo actually is. If it's Hello Kitty holding a knife done in chicken scratch, it’s a turn-off. It probably sounds generic, but I like floral tattoos on femmes.

No. 585724

>>585618
>>585620
>>585621
>>585701
Thank you so much for the advice. You are right it shouldn’t factor into my decision I defo overthink it, but glad to know a good quality tattoo is generally appreciated!

No. 586184

I noticed I brush off straight women who want to be friends if I find them emotionally attractive. I feel awkward for thinking of them in that way.

No. 586280

Going on my second date tonight with this beautiful femme I met on tinder.
We really vibed our first date, but I've never dated a femme before. I’m not butch but I don’t shave or wear makeup not to mention I'm also a virgin.
It’s probably stupid but I’m worried that she’s way out of my league and soon she’s going to find that out and move on.

No. 586282

>>586280
Confidence is key nonna. Don’t start doubting yourself.

No. 586578

>>586184
Hmm I’ve never thought too much about it before, but your statement is making me realize any time I’ve had a crush on a girl and found out that she’s straight, all my attraction for her immediately dies. Does anyone else have that?

No. 586602

Genuinely, how would you feel if the woman you were having sex with suddenly said she wanted to stop?
I've recently realized I wanted to stop sometimes with my past two girlfriends and with the woman I'm currently going out with, and every time I tried, they acted in a way that made me feel guilty about it. I could only really stop twice out of like ten to fifteen times, and it was because my girlfriend at the time had already climaxed and was tired.
I'd just like to add that my reaction never is too extreme, so I understand that they usually feel the need to “convince” me to keep going. Sometimes the reaction is along the lines of “why did you reciprocate if you didn't want it”.
Basically, for you, what would the best way to find out that someone is suddenly not into it anymore? In a way that didn't make you feel unwanted.

No. 586605

>>586602
I would assume she only identifies as a lesbian because she's been severely damaged by men. A woman only letting you know she's asexual or whatever later into the relationship is extremely demoralizing. I would doubt she actually loves me or is attracted to women.

No. 586609

>>586605
I'm definitely not asexual, not even low libido, just bad at receiving sometimes (I mentioned ten to fifteen, and my sexual life started 14 years ago). Never touched a man sexually. But thank you for replying, it's basically what I figured whenever it happened (that she's going to feel unwanted to some degree).
Repost because I forgot to add that I thought it was clear that I was talking about not wanting to keep going at the moment/the act happening and not stopping having a sexual or romantic relationship.

No. 586611

>>586605
she obviously means during sex, not in general. wtf?
>>586602
guilt tripping you is super weird and selfish. things like this are what destroy a person's relationship with sex over time

No. 586612

>>586602
‘Stop’ as in stop having sex entirely for the rest of the relationship? Or ‘stop’ as in you went along with it thinking you might get into the mood before realizing you just don’t feel like it after all?
>I could only really stop twice out of like ten to fifteen times, and it was because my girlfriend at the time had already climaxed and was tired.
This sounds weird at best and very concerning at worst. Also I’m wondering if you’re upfront about how this happens sometimes before you start dating a woman.

No. 586614

>>586602
What? I don't understand. Why is this happening so often? I would be understanding the first time, although hurt/worried I did something wrong, and I would want to talk it through. But if it was a semi-regular thing without much warning, then I would rethink the relationship. If you have some sort of hard boundary that turns you off, communicate it early. It is not unheard of for a woman to only like giving/not receiving, but these sorts of sexual boundaries should be talked about beforehand to make sure no one feels violated or hurt. I would be upset if I found out a woman I was into just didn't tell me something like this until I was in the most vulnerable headspace possible. Obviously, though, you are entitled to those sexual boundaries and have the right to change your mind, but the frequency of this is very bewildering to me.

No. 586617

I'm sorry, I didn't think I'd need to explain the details before posting. I just wanted to know how everyone else thought it was the most tactile way to receive a "let's stop here this time".

>>586612
Stop because I had done what I wanted to do at the time (usually getting her off and doing acts that are more mutual) and didn't really feel like receiving oral or something else. It's not a rule, I'm not a touch-me-not, it's just that sometimes I feel good and nice with everything that has already happened and would rather cuddle without her feeling that she needs to get me off.
>>586614
Do you think it's really often? It's not rhetorical, I'm really curious. One of the relationships lasted 5 years, and the other, 3. With the woman I'm going out right now, once, and I'd say it's because we don't know each other very well yet, so she really wanted to please me, but I was already pleased with everything else that day.

No. 586622

>>586617
Why don’t you just communicate that shit from the get go of the sexual aspect of relationships? Because in a normal situation people want to get their partners off too, so of course they’re gonna try and think something is wrong when you suddenly say no. If you tell your partners how you feel about that, then it’s pretty easy to say “oh I don’t feel like it this time, let’s do x instead” without there being a weird “what did I do wrong?” feeling lingering in the air

No. 586636

>>586617
Ok, I’m glad that the situation isn’t as dire as it first sounded to me. But still, if you want things to stop so you can cuddle, just say something like ‘hey that was really good, I think I’m done, can we cuddle’ or whatever. Make it less “sudden” (and if she insists because she thinks she’s the problem, tell her you’re already satisfied) and you’re good to go. If she still ignores this, then she is the problem.
It’s not good for you that you don’t clearly put your foot down. Stop having sex past the point you want to have sex, take care of yourself better wtf

No. 587405

I have a crush on my best friend and I'm in my mid twenties. This feels very highschool of me. She's also a lesbian but only really goes for masculine looking women. I on the other hand, am more feminine than her tastes I guess. The crush has been going on for the better part of a year, we hang out often, she sleeps over at mine often, share the bed etc. We have the most amazing conversations but at the same time I don't think she feels the same way. This is literally eating me up inside! I can't confess either because we share a lot of friends and it would make the group dynamic fall apart probably. Also if I lost her I think I would feel like shit for at least a year. Any advice?

No. 587802

femmes honestly piss me off. i've been masc practically my whole life and now i'm thinking about switching up my style a bit and all i hear is how much of a "shame" it is. i ask them why they don't go butch themselves if they looove the masculine style so much and there's always some fucking excuse. "i love my cute sweaters i don't want to get rid of them", meanwhile when i was younger and had less agency over what i wore i sold and threw out hundreds of dollars worth of clothes to remake myself in my preferred image. i don't actually care if they want to dress that way but don't try to micromanage the way i'm dressing and turn around and make excuses for yourself?! i feel like there's so much talk from femmes who have this weird fetishistic butch fixation. i've had women tell me, both romantic partners and just friends, that they don't want me to wear pink or cute clothes because that's 'their thing.' it's a fucking color? fuck off

No. 588267

>>587802
log off and this issue will magically disappear

No. 588296

A bit of a weird question on my part and I acknowledge that. I'm a virgin and I rarely ever look at porn because it's a bit awkward for me. But I did do so the other day while masturbating and saw some "weird" lesbian porn where one of them rubbed her vagina all over the boob of the other woman. Is that actually a thing? I was looking for tribbing when I stumbled upon this, is it also actually a thing? Sorry for the retarded questions.

No. 588297

>>588296
Anything can be a "thing" if someone gets turned on by it. I'm sure there's some horny lesbo out there who gets off on rubbing her vagina on whatever part of a woman's body. Honestly, it doesn't sound all that far-fetched.

No. 588323

>>587802
>i ask them why they don't go butch themselves if they looove the masculine style so much and there's always some fucking excuse
While they don't have the right to tell you what to do ro not do, what you're attracted to and what you like to wear are two completely different things, that reaction is normal.

No. 588326

>>588267
i'm afraid to tell you there's no way to log off from real life. people my age irl are really this annoying.
>>588323
i agree with you, i only said that because they're so pressed about what i wear like it's a great betrayal if i decide to lean more androgynous than full on butch. curiously i don't see mascs acting this territorial over their looks

No. 588665

My marriage with a man ended and I'm realizing I don't actually like men and I'm so fucking excited. Like, I always thought I did because I liked the men in certain anime, but then I realized those are just female fantasies. I've never GENUINELY been physically attracted to a man in real life, every man I've dated I've never really been into and I always wretched when they did something different with their appearance because then it meant I had to get used to looking at them again KEK. Ever since I've accepted my interest in women, it's like the floodgates have been unleashed, all my insecurities about dating are gone, I'm noticing beautiful women in the wild and feeling excited, and I'm so happy about the idea of a future together with a woman who understands me and shares my interests. Thinking about scrotes just makes me feel sick. The only reason I married one was because I thought my life would be easier, I constantly thought about getting out but shoved the thoughts down, but now nothing is stopping me because I'm getting alimony checks. I'm so happy. Can't wait to find the hot butch of my dreams.(this post breaks the bechdel test thread rule)

No. 588700

>>588665
Did you fuck him more than once? How could you have sex with him and not realized that you weren't attracted to men?

No. 588893

every girl I like keeps getting a boyfriend. I’m just so sick and hurt. just when I really really like someone, and it’s not even like I’m falling for straight women either. I feel terrible.

No. 589095

>>585614
I love tattoos on other women, just not on myself, despite being masculine/androgynous. I say go for it!

No. 589097

>>586578
I had something similar, except I got rejected. I don't like to waste my feelings on someone who can never return them

No. 589466

I wonder if someday science will evolve enough to let 2 women have a child. I have never been a kid person, but lately baby fever has been kicking me and I got sad remembering I will never get to experience caring for and carrying my wife's baby inside me.
I know IVF is a thing, but I find it gross and would feel like having a rando man's baby inside ne, not my wife's.

No. 589781

>>589466
I wish. My gf wants to use one of my eggs if we ever do eventually decide to have a child and tbh that made me happy enough for now.

No. 590161

File: 1753570278995.jpeg (1.33 MB, 1603x1990, IMG_6710.jpeg)

>>589781
This is so beautiful to me, also seems intimate for some reason to grow a baby from someone you love’s egg cell. If they ever manage to create sperm cells from women’s stem cells that would make it even more incredible, and I’d still want to carry her egg tbh. But there’s also a very very low success rate of producing a completely bimaternal embryo.

No. 590197

>>586578
Yeah, I have no interest in straight women. I don't relate to pining over a straight woman at all, no matter how well you get along or how beautiful you find her.
I'm not the type to crush hard in general either, though. So I think that's why my feelings don't ignite over something that's not even possible.



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