[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Discord ]

/g/ - girl talk

(For post deletion)

File: 1558657067944.jpg (121.15 KB, 640x651, 1517628177348.jpg)

No. 115426

In need of advice? Post here!

Last thread: >>87009

No. 115440

Am I being silly for walking away from a friendship mainly because the other person doesn't always talk to me consistently? He's one of my only friends but he goes on these long stints occasionally where he'll forget about me. Normally I'd try to reach out but to me, that's like begging and I'd rather not lower myself to that. He's also been going out a lot, meeting new people and making new friends where as with me I'm not that extroverted and generally keep to myself and the few people I'm comfortable with. So knowing he's going out and doing that, is it childish of me to be upset? There's also emotions involved that I've tried to distance myself from before. This guy is/was aware of them, tried to make a few passes, but it's not on the same mutual level. He still tries to cross-the-line with me sometimes, which annoys me and also furthers this desire to distance myself.

No. 115441

If they aren't giving you effort you shouldn't give them any back!
There's no issue with that, as an adult you can decide who you want to surround yourself with for whatever reason. The same goes for him. I would like to say, talking consistently isn't my strong suit either and this led to someone controlling me by constantly wanting to talk and getting emotional if I didn't so I had to cut ties for the opposite reason. It's just not my thing and maybe it's not his, especially if he is branching out and experiencing new things, he'll be busier.
Id say its fine to cut ties if that's what you want but you should not worry about it too much and focus on those who give you effort.

No. 115451

File: 1558705674481.png (93.86 KB, 275x163, 1547075239630.png)

I'm going to move to Japan in 4 months. Despite this being my weeb dream since i was 9 years old, now its actually happening I feel nothing but worry and fear of being alone and leaving my friends and family behind.

I'm not even the type of person who is constantly surrounded by others;I generally prefer alone time and I moved out years ago. I've been to Japan before and I am 100% certain this is what I want; but the worry of moving to another country is daunting to me.

Does anyone know actually watchable Jvloggers, cool japan videos, books, games, manga, anime, ANYTHING that can help me get over this anxiety and remind me how much I actually want to go?

I have a lot of problems finding Jvloggers I actually like because they're either unbearable or like Taylor R where you just see her face the entire time and does nothing exciting.

And if anyone has any advice for moving to another country, I would appreciate it. I am going to be studying there for years, so that makes it even more anxiety inducing.

No. 115452

I mean I think it's important to remember that Japan is just a country with people and society like anywhere else. Humans are not so different from each other in the grand scheme of things. Try to dial back the romanticization and you'll realize that it's just like anywhere else.

No. 115453

Well, no, that's not really the problem. I don't expect it to be like an anime or something; again, I have been before.

My problem is I'm dealing with a lot of worry/anxiety from moving to a different country, and as a consequence I can only think of the negatives of the move.
I mentioned it was Japan because I wanted a specific type of media to help calm my anxiety about moving and hopefully replace the negative feelings my brain is forcing on me with positive ones.

No. 115457

File: 1558712392751.png (2.59 MB, 1242x1242, b8b57f3961a7e080e29903d90604e7…)

Aw anon, reading this reminded me a lot of myself. I recently moved to a foreign country for uni (and I plan to stay here for work) and I can totally relate to the anxiety you're feeling. At first when I was still home, I was so excited to move, but as my actual flight crept closer and closer my anxiety completely consumed me. During the flight landing I remember trying not to have a breakdown on the plane because I was just staring out the window looking at this foreign city thinking, "How the fuck is this happening? What the fuck did I get myself into? Can I really do this?"

I can't give you any advice about Japan specifically as I moved to a European country, but please don't worry too much, I'm sure you'll be fine. I won't lie, at first it's gonna be scary and overwhelming, but you just gotta push through because it'll be worth it once you settle in. Honestly moving to a new country really helped me learn to deal with my anxiety and insecurities; I've made such a fucking fool out of myself so many times that now I've just learned to laugh at myself and move on. And I bet Japanese natives would go easy on an obvious foreigner who's doing their best to adapt to a new culture, so don't even worry about that.

If you want to comfort yourself, go back to where this all started. What made your 9 year old self fall in love with Japan? Indulge yourself in nostalgia, go back and relish in every corny old anime and manga series you loved when you were younger, and imagine telling your child self that you're about to move to Japan. I bet she'd be fucking stoked, right?
A personal anecdote: I remember shortly before I left I was randomly scrolling through my ancient deviantart account for shits and giggles. I made the account when I was 11. I was looking at my cringy journal entries and I found a questionnaire I filled out, and one of the things I said on there was, "I really really really want to move to (country I live in now) when I'm an adult!" I got so fucking choked up when I read that. I didn't even remember wanting to move here when I was that age, and it was fucking nuts to me that I was actually going to live there now. It oddly comforted me, like I was making my dweeby loser 11 year old self happy.

Sorry for this absolute word vomit that probably made no sense, but I hope you can alleviate some of your worries and enjoy your new life in Japan. Seriously, you're going to have a fucking blast, I promise you. Best of luck anon, I'm rooting for you!

No. 115458

File: 1558713146414.jpg (140.39 KB, 1071x1071, FB_IMG_1557978194550.jpg)

Anon, thank you so much for this reply. I don't mean to be all soppy but this really helped a lot to read, it's really comforting to know that I'm not the only one, and things will get better.

No. 115462

File: 1558722224907.jpg (40.14 KB, 474x442, 3312955.jpg)

Anon, if I did not know better I would say I wrote that post. (& you are so nice)

I moved to a European country to study last August. The last weeks before leaving and the first months living here were very overwhelming, even though I already knew the country and was sure of my decision. I had so many anxieties and lived in so much stress thinking something would happen to my family or to me, that I was not prepared to live on my own, etc. Now I've settled down and am doing good, missing my mom but she is coming to visit me soon so that's okay. I would not like to go back and plan will stay here to work, too.

>>115451 go and live your dreams.
Truth is, there's nothing that can prepare for you actually moving.

What is happening soon was so anticipated by you, but at the same time, the future is completely out of your control and that is a very normal reason to be anxious.

To me, it seemed like I wanted this forever and all of a sudden it was there and I was NOT ready. But really, you are never ready - the experience of moving abroad is something that will change you, and you can't know how. Just be open-minded and let it come to you.

That said, try to control your anxiety so you can have a good time before going. Also, do things that you will cherish when you are in Japan and missing home. I would suggest spending time with your family and friends but also eating your favorite foods from where you're from, etc. Try to keep occupied and not so focused on what will happen, like I said, you can't know how it's gonna be, so just let it come to you. Just know that you'll survive and you will be fine, discover new things, have fun, and grow a lot from it. Sometimes it's going to be fucking rough but that's part of it, and that's ok too.

You're very brave anon, I'd love to get to know Japan someday. Good luck!

No. 115664

My boyfriend has a roommate whose gf is over all the time. I liked the gf at first and was excited to have another girl around to hang out with. She clearly gets high on male attention, though, and we don’t click all that well.

Even though she’s a tease with all her bf’s friends and does shit like chairdancing in a bikini or walking INTO my boyfriend’s bedroom without various articles of clothes on, I know nothing will happen. She doesn’t want to actually be known as the girl who sleeps around/cheats.

That said, there is this weird primal feeling I get that makes her general presence to me stressful as fuck. I think specifically because she’s in his living space so much. I can’t rationalize it away. I have nightmares all the time where my boyfriend is cheating on me with her or she does some weird stuff to steal him away. I will never act on this feeling. I’ve told him how she makes me feel, and he said he wishes his roommate would break up with her. Yet that stress does not go away for me.

Part of me wishes I could tell her that all this creates anxiety for me, but I don’t think there’s a good way to do that. I’m just not sure.

No. 115667

I'm in southern USA and moving into my partner's place in Belfast, NI fairly soon, between late June and early July (still narrowing tickets/prices down.) Does anyone have any advice for getting rid of material possessions quickly and efficiently, while still keeping necessities? He's got a bed, hygiene products, appliances, utilities, and all of the needed basic stuff (and has offered to share his clothes with me as well) since he knows I don't have the money or space to bring a bunch of luggage with me. I'd like to get rid of clothing specifically since that's what I have the most of. I have far too much and despite loving what I buy, I know there's no way I could or should bring all of it with me.

How do y'all go through clothing and decide what you do or don't like? Anyone had to do a quick major cleanout before?

No. 115681

For what I seem to understand, you're not living with your boyfriend.
If you don't want to confront her directly, the easiest way is talking to your bf into asking her not to come in his room without prior asking and not letting her in that often. It's not much, but it can help…
I don't know about where you live, but here we are kind of private among roommates and is not normal entering other people's room if not directly invited, so it is usually understandable if you ask someone else not to come in.

No. 115684

Maybe ask a friend to come over and help you.
Be practical. First make a list of what you need ie: 1 dress, 3 t-shirts, 3 tanks, etc. And remember it's summer there, so you can thrift new winter clothes when you're there.

No. 115692

It sounds like you two are on the same page about it. Men have boundaries too, like imagine if the situation was reversed and it was a guy walking into your room half naked. Your feelings are valid, and you're probably dwelling on it because you feel powerless about it.

I would pressure him to talk to his roommate man-to-man and explain the situation. "Bro, the way your GF is acting is making mine jealous, and it's causing problems in my relationship. Can she not."

Don't try to out-hoe her, or turn it into a competition, just make it clear that her acting that way isn't acceptable and get everyone involved on the same page about it, and hopefully she'll change her behavior without too much drama, or find someone else to hit on.

No. 115727

Go full Machiavelli. Befriend her enough to make her think you respect her and gain her trust, wait for the dirt to become exposed. She'll fuck up eventually, and then you can use this to help break them up and get some peace and quiet.

No. 115732

I desperately want to go on a holiday overseas with my gf this december but i can only save max $50 a week. any tips on how to make more money? im a full time student and i work a part time job. for a whole week, i make about $300. id love to sell feet pics or some shit cuz ive heard its easy money but idk how to even get into that

No. 115742

You shouldn't go on holidays until you can actually afford it, aka have savings and a decent job and dont need sell foot pictures. At least set a more reasonable goal, like a weekend away within driving distance.

No. 115749

Any daughters of narcissists who can help me out?
I've been as "no contact" as possible for the past couple years, but my siblings still rely on him financially so I pretty much have to see him twice a year for their sake. The next time I'll see him is coming up. I know he's going to make it awkward and whine about how I hate him and I'm going to have to reassure him I don't while also turning down any invitations for future meetings. I'm really bad at lying. How do I navigate this? Are there good excuses for not returning texts/calls?

No. 115773

Late response but I wanted to thank you for your message. I do definitely feel like I'm focusing too much on this - trying to find other things to look at is actually highlighting the other, far more worrisome areas of my life that I've been avoiding… I'm going to try and tackle those instead. He's tried to explain to me before that he goes through phases where he loses contact. I suppose that's just how he is, but I'm afraid I can't tolerate it so casually like him. I'll try to explain with him next time we talk (if ever) how much I value consistency but for the time being I'm going to keep trying to distance myself. It'd mean a lot if he showed more effort in trying to sustaining contact but as the way things are going now, I don't think I can keep this up. It's too emotionally draining. Something needs to change.

No. 115810

i cant find the plastic surgery thread, i hope its ok to ask it here.

does anyone have any experiences with under eye fillers? I have extremely hollow tear throughs and ive always had them, even as a young child. they are like giant craters under my eyes, and i also sometimes have eczema around my eyes and dry skin which makes it look worse, but obviously this is easier to control. people constantly make remarks about how i always look tired, even if ive slept a lot the night before. some boys at my school when i was about 12 always made remarks about how i look like a drug addict. i want to get rid of them really bad, even though my family keeps on telling me that i shouldnt.

i think they make my face look markedly uglier, and thats saying something since the rest of my face isnt that attractive either. if i try to cover them up with my hands or photoshop them out, i feel like i look a lot better. i know a doctor in my city who does them, i think she does restylane (sp?) fillers. has anyone else got them before, and was it worth it?

No. 115829

I'm keeping my boyfriend awake with my teeth grinding. I do have a bruxism guard (both cheap and custom) and i seem to take them out whilst unconscious. What do?

No. 115831

go to the dentist or psychiatrist and figure out why you're grinding your teeth, depending on the cause, then stop grinding your teeth.

have your boyfriend invest in earplugs in the meantime.

No. 115832

Why do you need to see him for financial reasons, what? I could give you a good excuse if you have a good excuse for seeing him twice a year for financial reasons. Where is mom?

No. 115844

Thanks! I smoke so i think its likely that which causes it. He's refused to try earplugs in the past but he's such a light sleeper that it'd be great for him for more than just my teeth grinding.

No. 115863

>bullied as a kid for being a drug addict because of your undereye hollows
I thought this was just me. And then as a teenager the same boys would try to suck up to me and ask me where to buy weed, but then just bully me again when I told them I didn't smoke.

If you do get fillers please let us know how it turns out. Personally, as I care less as I've gotten older since it's normal for everyone to look tired, the playing field has become level, but it's still interesting to learn about.

No. 115874

i feel the drug thing. it was always either the boys at school who would make fun of me for being a "drug addict", and ive also been stopped by the bouncers at night clubs because i "look like im on drugs" even though ive never touched anything except alcohol in my entire life.

im kind of torn on getting it done, because i think it would bring me so much relief if i did, but ive also read about complications and im also concerned about allergic reactions since my body is very sensitive to things like that in general lol.

No. 116023

I am due a cervical screening but I don't know what to expect and I'm squeamish and terrified. My last blood test made me faint and I don't know how painful it's going to be.

No. 116040


Same, anon. I'm scared and putting it off, even though I know that's a stupid thing to do. Getting the IUD gave me cervix related trauma.

No. 116071

A girl I went to high school with but haven't spoken to in 4 years is friends with a guy I find very cute. She works at a clothing store near my house and we've smiled at each other a couple of times.
I want to talk to her about this casually, opening with a "hey we went to high school together. Remember me? I'm anon, we talked at the bus stop that one time, etc." and segue into asking about him. Maybe something like "I see you all the time at uni with this guy, are you dating?" (I know they aren't) and "Oh, is he single?"

Does this sound like a good plan? Is it too blunt and rude and does it come off as if I'm using her? Should I talk to her a couple times first? Should I ask her to hang out maybe before asking this? I'd be happy to be friends with her too tbh.

I'm socially an idiot so any input is appreciated.

No. 116076

Hmm, I don’t think right off the bat asking her about her dude friend would be the right choice. If I were you I would try and befriend her (if that’s tolerable) and see if you guys end up hanging out with this guy organically like at a get together with other friends or something. I think it would make sense to ask her about him after something like that because she wouldn’t suspect that you only talked to her to get to him. And possible silver lining, you might get a nice girl pal out of it too! Hope my ramblings make sense!

No. 116079

You're probably right. I've been wanting a female friend for a while anyway, and she does seem sweet and fun from what I know.
It would probably be a good choice all around, thank you anon. I'll ask her if she wants to meet up for lunch or something!

No. 116085

>TFW friends who have boyfriends are never willing to ask their boyfriends if any of their single friends are single and want to go out on a blind date
Is there a stigma thats arisen that just doesn't encourage people to help others get into relationships now?

No. 116110

File: 1559557334525.jpeg (65.34 KB, 1000x562, 9CF05123-738C-460B-8D4D-CCBC77…)

My brother and I have a significant age gap-
I’m 28, he’s 36.

He’s never had a girlfriend, nor ANY friends since middle school. He’s incredibly smart, but (and I feel like an asshole saying so) I can see why. He seems hopeless and it’s hard to spend time around him because I get annoyed. He has a good job, good hygiene, thin and 5’10, and lives alone. I recently spent time around him and here’s what we’re working with:

- he does the virgin walk, except a proud version of it. Taking large steps and swinging his arms with lightly clenched fists. The way a cartoon would exaggeratedly walk.
- when perusing things he puts his hands behind his back and leans forward, like a nobleman would.
- his glasses are quintessential thin wire framed “nerd” glasses that flatter almost no one.
- wears the white briefs typically only little boys use.
- poofy hair that’s thinning; when I advised he looks much better with it short he just said “yes yes, you’ve told me as much prior”
- he makes… comments on everything and speaks incredibly neckbeardy in a way hard to really articulate. Ex: he notices his jeans had whiskering on them and said “seems there was an issue with the dying and such- as if, perhaps, it was wrinkled at the time, and the dye adhered to a certain area- bah! I must purchase some new ones!”
- doesn’t drink or do drugs, which sadly is a big hindrance for socializing
- I know plenty of anti dog people, but he does it in a weird way. I wish I could articulate how bizarre it is?
- is a nice person, I’ve never seen him be bitter or speak ill of normies or generally vapid people

I’m a woman that dates VERY unconventional men, but they all have friends at least, even if I’m their first girlfriend. I can’t see myself ever dating a guy like him, nor anyone else wanting to. If he’s truly happy, I want to leave him be- I just can’t imagine being so alone and being content.

No. 116111

sounds like he's on the spectrum.

No. 116112

So I've gained a stone in weight (9st to 10st) and I'm freaking out. I have an unhealthy relationship with food (comfort eater) and my thoughts around the way I look and my body are "toxic" and I just need to know that it's okay cause I'm panicking, I feel like a disgusting ugly fat failure who isn't worth anything.
I start therapy for these problems in 2 weeks but fuck right now I just need some advice on how to calm down and not see this as a big a deal as I feel it is.

No. 116113

Yeah he kinda sounds autistic to me, but he seems to be content and doing well for himself, at least he's not a basement dwelling neckbeard or something.
I wouldn't worry too much about him. You're a good sister for caring, but some people are loners and truly don't mind being on their own. And you never know, he could find a girlfriend one day. Sounds like the type of guy to get married to one of those awkward horse girls who still dress like it's 2003.

No. 116114

He never mentions being upset about no friends or girlfriend- are people on the spectrum more likely to be content without typical human interactions?

No. 116115

Haha! I would love that for him. I’m more concerned about the lack of friends than I am a girlfriend. Sometimes I just worry. Thanks for putting my fears more at ease.

No. 116121

I'd say so. I can only speak for myself but I have high functioning autism and I've always been content on my own. I hardly made friends as a child and I never thought twice about it, I was always happy doing my own thing. I only felt weird about not having friends because other people pressured me about it. I'm introverted and I spend 95% all of my time alone, even things like concerts or movies I go to alone and I'm perfectly happy with that.
It's not like I'm exactly an asocial heartless bitch, I do wish I had a best friend or boyfriend, but just one "partner in crime" would be enough for me. I don't really have an interest in having a big group of friends because it would exhaust me.

Your brother sounds like me, but only he knows how he truly feels. Are you guys close enough to talk about it without being weird? It's possible that he sometimes does feel lonely but is good at hiding it, or maybe he just enjoys solitude.
Does he have any particular hobbies or interests that could get him socializing with others? Something like an art, cooking, or woodworking class could be a good idea if he's open to it. Something that involves working with your hands doesn't necessarily force you to make friends - if you don't want to talk to people, you can just focus on making your art or whatever, but there's always the possibility to talk to others and meet new people.

No. 116122

He’s very interested in video games, quantum mechanics, computers, etc. Very cliche typical nerd things, hence my surprise he doesn’t have fellow nerdy friends (not even online from what I can tell).

We’re not very close due to the large age gap and personality differences, plus I’ve lived in another state since I was 17- but I think I’ll try to approach it in a nonchalant way. I enjoy my time with him even though he can be a bit much. I hate the thought of him suffering in silence and being alienated just because he’s weird and nerdy in uncool ways. But if he IS unhappy, I imagine confiding in a much younger little sister would be far too humiliating.

I’m really happy to hear where you land on this- you do sound very similar to him and how I hope (and suspect) he feels. It’d be nice to have a best friend, but it’s not hurting him.

No. 116126

I'm glad I could offer some comfort. Even if he may not have friends, at least he does have a younger sister who cares about him. I wish I had family as thoughtful and caring as you, anon. It might seem lame to some to have your only companionship be your own family, but for some people, that's plenty. I imagine your brother probably cherishes spending time with you too, whether he shows it or not.

No. 116142

My period was late by a day or two, which isnt out of the ordinary. But it started with a little blood yesterday as usual because my first day is light so i put a tampon in. But then i pulled it out like 6 hours later and there was no blood? I wore a pad overnight and my period just stopped.

This has never happened to be before. I was crampy yesterday but today barely which is uncharacteristic of my second day.

Am i pregnant?? Im gonna take the urine test when i can ASAP but im freaking out

No. 116145

Periods are weird as fuck-
Mine will be like clockwork for a few years, and then all of a sudden decide to go haywire. Have you changed your diet, schedule? New stressors?

Is there a REASON you think you might be pregnant? UNPROTECTED SEX MAAM?!??

…if not then nah you good.

No. 116146

Honestly? We pulled out a few times this month but used condoms otherwise. He's really good at pulling out like 10 seconds before he cums. Obviously that's not an excuse though.

Ive been eating a lot less because ive started a new anti depressant this month and im rarely hungry anymore. Idk. Ill update when i test it.

No. 116147

To add: man he pulled out with his ex's all the time. Like his last one for 2 years. I'd be so fucking unlucky. Its not a big deal if im pregnant. Hes a really sweet supportive guy that never pressured me to go raw or anything. His track record was tempting.

No. 116150

Update: I did a cheap pregnancy test from the dollar store and it came up strongly negative. I'll use the 2nd one tomorrow morning because it's most accurate then.

I don't think im pregnant but wtf is up with my period it's never been irregular like this

No. 116156

Anon, wait longer for that second test. You are only a day or two late if I'm reading correctly. You need to wait a little longer for an accurate reading. New meds can definitely screw with your cycle. Also, please don't be so naive. You can get pregnant even when he pulls out. Precum has trace amounts of sperm in it and it can get you pregnant.

No. 116185

Precum doesnt have any sperm in it unless he came earlier and hasnt peed a few times yet.

No. 116199

How do I stop obsessing over this girl my boyfriend used to have a crush on? I look at her ig almost every day and constantly compare myself to her because she just looks like his type much more than me. I feel like if he had a chance with her, he wouldn't be wasting his time with me, but I'm guessing she's rejected him in the past or something. Idk what to do. I'm going crazy.

No. 116200

How do I get over the fact that my “best friend” basically dumped me because they got in a relationship? I never made a friend that close in my life and I’m sad. I’m 21 so sorry if I sound juvenile but I never experienced this before. I expected my friend backing off a little but not disappearing. It makes me cry whenever I think of it.

No. 116219

Are you sure your friend isn't in a controlling relationship where they are being prevented from having friends? Surely they miss you too.

No. 116225

I think my friend is so infatuated to the point where they don’t talk to anyone but their partner. I honestly can’t take it. It’s very hurtful. I wish we fell out in a normal way because then that would feel more legitimate. Maybe my friend never really valued me but that doesn’t make sense because I really felt like they loved me (platonic) before all this.

No. 116226

File: 1559715008649.png (57.2 KB, 500x382, 1322796219001.png)

idk anon the same happened to me a year ago or so and I'm still a bit upset over it. we do text now and then again but it's like I can feel how bored she is with me so it isn't nice at all. time heals all wounds?

No. 116227

This happened to me anon! It got easier once I was in a good relationship so I did have my bf to spend time with, but before that I just spent a lot of time with my single friends and my friends who could balance their partners with their social lives. It’s almost like revenge by living your best life, after a few months of my friend saying no to every party or get together people would invite her to everyone stopped inviting her to things, so honestly all of us ended up enriching our social lives by hanging out more together bc we all kinda got dumped by this friend. Good luck and it gets easier, it’s been about a year and a half so now I really know not to get my expectations up about her being free/making plans or contacting me.

No. 116230

cpt or emdr therapy for repeated traumas and PTSD that's been simmering for a decade? i think my symptoms have everyone on edge so i need to make a choice and try to make progress. but isn't associating positive experiences with trauma or trying to forcefully numb yourself to it kind of brainwashy? what are your experiences?

No. 116254

yeah, i guess so. i know one day this will all be a memory i got over :/

No. 116377

I'd go for CPT. it's actually evidence based (unlike EMDR)

No. 116378

I'm currently doing EMDR and find it is working, there is preliminary evidence that EMDR works for ptsd. I'm currently receiving it on the NHS and they gave me the choice between CBT or EMDR.
I find it interesting that you were offered CPT as it's not even offered on the NHS due to lack of evidence in comparison to CBT or EMDR so I'm a bit confused that the other anon replied saying there isn't any evidence for EMDR.

No. 116424

Should I buy these cheap copic markers I found on Craigslist, it’s 19 for 10 cents each. But she won’t let me reserve them can’t even attach a photo because it’s too late, currently 7:00 pm. Debating if it’s even worth it for a 22 mile drive considering they could be gone.

No. 116425

I meant she couldn’t attach a photo since it’s too late, so I don’t even know what colors she’s selling. Also the sale starts at 9:00 am, apparently multiple are interested so by the time I get there it could be gone

No. 116428

>22 mile drive
>for copic markers

You would lose so much money on petrol doing that, definitely not worth it also sounds like some kinda trap. Why can't she mail them? I assume there's a typo and there's 190 and not 19 because anyone can mail 19 markers.

No. 116441

I just moved to a new town and don't have a doctor yet. I have agoraphobia and get very scared going new places and I am sick with strep throat that isn't going away, tonsillitis and an ear infection. I've needed to go to the doctor for 2 weeks but can't get the courage to call a new doctor to make an appointment. I used to have someone living with me who was my appointed caregiver but they left without warning so now I live alone with no transportation. The main problem is that I'm really scared to make the phone call to find a new doctor and make an appointment to go. Does anyone have any tips for what to say on the phone so I don't mess up and make a mistake? I feel so stupid when I make phone calls and doctors offices are one of the hardest places for me to call. I get scared they'll think I'm making it up and accuse me of being a hypochondriac. I know I'll probably just get snarky responses about what a tard I am but any advice would be great, I am sick of having daily breakdowns over trying to make a phone call.

No. 116444

I've spent most of my working life taking calls from people and not once have I ever been bothered by someone being awkward or not knowing what to say. I wont call you a tard but I will tell you that you are vastly overestimating how much people taking calls give a shit about you, they're probably busy looking at the clock and wanting to go home. And doctors aren't going to think you're a hypochondriac based on one visit and when you are actually sick, wtf kind of sense would that make?

Sorry to be harsh but there's nothing in particular you need to do or say, you just need to get over yourself and not be self conscious over nothing.

No. 116451

You should probably go to a walk-in clinic for antibiotics if you really have all strep, tonsillitis, and an ear infection.
>>116444 is spot on. Just ask if any doctors are taking new patients and go from there. Receptionists are used to people being weird

No. 116454

Basic rules for phone: state what you want, who you are, and anything else that's massively important. Doesn't have to be in that order. If they can't help you, thank them politely and hang up.
Don't worry about sounding retarded. Nobody cares, and I really mean that. People who work on phones all day aren't paid enough to give a shit.

No. 116456

Whenever my mum and I get into a verbal fight or huge argument, she says always that I'm just like my abusive father. She divorced him after 20 years and I have no contact with him because he was an awful human being in many ways. He was physically and emotionally abusive, stole money and gas lighted the entire family. So she basically puts me whenever we argue, on the same lever as him, even thought I never did any of those things he did and never would because I hate people like this. It really pisses me off that she uses this argument all the time against me and my brother.

So my question is: How do I deal or respond to this? It really annoys the fuck out of me.

One time I said that I never choose my own father because how? And she seriously said YES I could've done it?? What the fuck.

No. 116486

Maybe this is asking too much but just don't raise your voice at her? Try to keep yourself and her calm, give her time to explain herself and try to reason with her concerns so she doesn't get into the mindset of having a screaming match that's always been in the context of being scared of the other person.

No. 116516

>reasoning with a manipulative individual who would compare her own female children disagreeing with her to an abusive spouse due to an inability to handle conflict
Nope. Won't work.
It's the blame game and anon will never win it.

Have you ever heard of the gray rock method?
I use this with my own mother who is a narcissist. Not saying yours is a full blown one, but what she's doing is getting an emotional rise out of you because being compared to an abuser when you know you're not being one is very upsetting. It's a form of guilt tripping. She knows exactly what she's doing and she hopes you'll go on the defensive so she can lord past abuse over you to get her way. If she does this frequently, it's because she likes the drama and attention she can milk from you and your brother.

Slip on a mask of cool, calm, and collectiveness when you feel an argument coming on. Stick to the facts. Try not to let on an emotional reaction no matter what she says to try to draw one from you.
If nothing you say reaches her, then go silent. Better to walk away than give her more ammo to manipulate you with. She asks why? It's because you want to be heard and she's being unreasonable.

No. 116543

I fear I may have just sabotaged a relationship with someone I care about by being too honest and blunt. I'm so fucking stupid. What I said sounded too cold. I can't take it back, so what should I do? Would an apology be too hasty and come off in-genuine?

No. 116550

I need help on how to behave with a friend of mine.
She recently got into a relationship with another friend of mine; at first it was just sex, than they decided to go for a relationship. Blahblah, a lot of stuff that doesn't concern me since it's their life and all. Still, her behaviour is affecting the way I see her. She's acting very badly to my other friend, showing no respect for his feelings and being kind of selfish even though she denies she's acting so and puts up a fuss when you tell her.
Another friend and me tried to talk to her and make her come to her senses, but she won't stop disappointing us all and hiding stuff from everyone.
She has previously shown red flags, but I thought I was being paranoid and tried to get over it, but since all this is happening I am losing all respect and emotional bonds with her.

Am I acting irrational and should I let her live as she pleases and not let it get involved in our friendship?
The other friend already told her he lost all respect and bond with her, which her came to me to talk about how bad she felt about it but did nothing to understand his point of view.
I don't know what to do, anons. I feel like I'm being a bitch because her relationship with her boyfriend shouldn't concern me as much as it is doing.

No. 116842

I have anxiety about giving up my current apartment even though all of my friends and family (and my internal voice) is saying I'll be happier once I'm out.

So for the last four years I've been living here despite a lot of issues because the landlord is so negligent, leaks that took a year to fix, no hot water for months making me sick, the last straw was part of my ceiling caving in from the damp a leak they refused to fix caused and during that time I got a nasty infestation of moths. I have been miserable living like this, and I'm about to start a new job and I'm able to save up so I can afford to move. This is great news……but I'm scared.

This will probably sound ridiculous, but I've been here so long and I've tried to make it as homely as possible. My neighbour is the kindest person and because he manages the entire building he's been able to help move things along faster than my letting agent have alone. As a girl living by herself I feel incredibly reassured to live next to such a reliable guy, and despite the issues I've had, it makes me sad because often I look at my home and I wish I could keep it without all the issues. I wish I could give it the love it deserves but I cannot buy it and it's rented so I've concluded that it's going to be better to just move and start afresh.

This was my first ever apartment and it's proving harder than I thought: my mind keeps going to what ifs…what if I move somewhere and have the worst neighbour in the world and I know nobody? What if I move and the new place is too big for me? Stupid worries like that.

I wish I wouldn't worry because deep down I know I'll probably find somewhere I fall head over heels for that is more together and with a different landlord that isn't as careless as mine, so is this anxiety normal? Is it because it's my first apartment and therefore my baby that I'm stubbornly wishing and wishing I could hold onto and save but I can't? It's like a first relationship that isn't perfect but it's the first and it's there. So I feel at a loss between being eager to find my dream new home and being afraid of facing this at all.

No. 116848

My sis needs rehab for her alcohol addiction and traumas. My uncle is very rich and basically the only person who could afford to get her help without it being any trouble. My mom refuses to acknowledge the issue, so he's really the only option. However, I'm not close with him. Yet I see him often enough that I might try to change that.. unsure about how.

Overall, I just want him to drop a few thousand to help my sister have a new chance at life. He doesn't have any idea about how bad it is or how rough her life was.. Essentially, should I tell him about the sexual abuse she experienced, so he understands the level of issues? Or do I just explain how sick she is? What's the best way to ask? Advice???

No. 116861

Write him a letter. A real letter, on paper. Tell him everything, not just about what happened, but about how you feel about it all, as well, and the effect it's having on your family. Say how much she needs help and also about how much he could help her, what positive changes he could make if he helped her with treatment, use examples; if she could go to college, get a better job, settle down with someone, etc.

Then try and meet for coffee and discuss it further. Just be as honest as you can, really. Good luck, I hope it works out for you and your sister.

No. 116907

File: 1560704026189.jpg (9.78 KB, 251x241, 13jhUwH1ryyjv.jpg)

How do I know if I'm suffering from what I'm pretty sure is PTSD? And what should I do to get help besides seeing a therapist (which I'm going to arrange sooner or later because I'm sick of wallowing in my sadness like this).

My best friend died last September of terminal cancer. Throughout his last 3 years of his life, I was there by his side, visiting him at hospitals and his house, bringing him stuff, trying to make him happy. Just generally being supportive. We were really close and told each other our deepest secrets, those of which I'm going to keep for the rest of my life.

Ever since he died, my short-term and working memory has been absolute ass. I did have a bout of memory loss issues when I was on antidepressants and antipsychotics for a few years, but when I went off them, my memory came back. Now ever since my friend has died, my memory has gone to shit again. I remember reading about how one symptom of PTSD is memory issues. I do have ADHD meaning that I get distracted fairly easy (meaning it's easy for me to forget things), and my medication (Vyvanse) did help with that. But the moment he died, the Vyvanse stopped helping with my short-term memory issues. It's REALLY bad now. My emotions are completely blunted, too. I feel like I'm on Abilify (antipsychotic) again, which completely stunted my emotions. I'm constantly dissociated and I know it's a coping mechanism.

I now have some really lovely triggers, too. Hospitals, the sound of breathing devices (whatever they're called, the things that have oxygen tanks that help people breathe), the word "terminal" in any context, specific memes (ones that I sent him and shit). Even more amusingly, I now have an emotional trigger for the song Megalovania from Undertale, because the last thing I sent to him that he replied to was a Megalovania meme. It's taken me a while to get over that one. Sounds stupid as fuck, but this is something I've been struggling with for a long time. My friends are pretty supportive too, seeing as they were all friends with him as well. So we talk about losing him every once in a while and it helps.

My concept of time is fucked, too. I remember having an almost-panic attack over his death and I was telling my boyfriend that I was upset about something that "happened recently" (not wanting to say "I'm upset that my best friend is dead" because I was at work and didn't want to cry), and once he realized what I was upset about, he made me realize that his death wasn't recent, it was over half a year ago. Like, what the fuck?

I keep having trauma dreams that bum me out so much to the point that I'm sometimes scared to sleep. My brain is now doing this weird thing where to cope, it's now placed this false sense of who my friend was in my mind. What I mean is, my brain now thinks of him as a fictional person, I guess so it hurts less. My brain is trying to purge any notion that this was my best friend. Instead, it's trying to think of him as a character that died in a TV show I like or something. It's fucking awful. I don't want my brain to do this. And when I stumble across his old social media by accident, it hurts so much more than it should because suddenly my brain is faced with the reality that he was a real person and not just a character.

I do visit his mom every once in a while. She's really nice and I even helped her with finding a new job that doesn't aggravate her trauma. I plan on visiting her sometime soon just to say hello. She's the same as me, we both don't want to wallow in this and be miserable about losing a loved one. We both want to move on. We had a really long talk about this when I visited her on his birthday. Was really nice.

TL;DR best friend died last year, I think I have PTSD. How do I know that I have PTSD? What steps should I take (besides therapy, since I'm arranging that soon) to help myself heal? How can I help "repair" my memory issues that happened as a result of trauma? Sorry for the long post, I just needed to vent somewhere.

No. 116973

Sounds to me like you have PTSD which you can very much get from death of a loved one. I'm sorry, anon, it can be incredibly hard and terrifying some days. The only thing that helps me with mine is weed. If you have the money, definitely try to see a therapist. Good luck.

No. 117317

Should I be embarrassed about my ugly teeth and weirdly shaped mouth and speech issues due to that or do most people not care about that stuff? I dislike it on other people so I'm worried people dislike me for it as well. It's something I worry about a lot and I don't know how to feel more confident. And no braces aren't an option right now and even if I would get them some day they would just make things even worse for the first few years anyway since they look bad and are hard to deal with.

No. 117323

I moved to a new city and found a good place with a room where the previous tenant was willing to let me keep his furniture for a good price. It's kinda ugly but I really needed a place to live and decided I could deal with it. The room is liveable but honestly it's super cramped and weirdly shaped, and the way the furniture was placed when I moved in is pretty much the only place to put them. It also gets really shitty light and isn't very comfy or nice to be in, which sucks because I spend pretty much all of my time inside my room.

I found out one of my roommates is going to move out at the end of the summer. I was hoping to move into her room since it's bigger, gets better light, and just overall is a more pleasant room in every way. Today I asked her about it, obviously she didn't care but she wants to sell her furniture to the next tenant, and it's pretty pricey. I understand because it is nice almost new furniture and furnishing the room again would cost about the same (if not more), but I feel like I shouldn't be wasting money to move into this room when technically my current room is fine. But at the same time I really want that room, and I spend so much time in my room, so it's important to me to have a nice room. I do have the money, it's not like I'd have to starve to pay her for the furniture, and I could recoup maybe 1/4 of the cost by selling the furniture in my old room, but I don't know. I have a lot of anxiety surrounding money so I'm hesitant to do this but I also grow to hate my current room more and more each day. Should I suck it up or just go for it anons?

No. 117332

Go for it otherwise you will not be given this chance a second time too soon and you'll be bitter about it.

No. 117359

Who has successfully tapered off of Lexapro? I'm coming off a very low starting dose (5 mg) but it's getting harder now that I'm fully off the medication. I went in increments of quarters, so very slowly. I'm experiencing a lot of dizziness or feeling out of it and it's making me clumsy and is upsetting. I'm only not like this if I'm not moving a lot or too fast. I had it to some extent before but it's at its worst now. Do you think it'll settle off in a couple of weeks? When I went half to quarter pill, it eventually settled off, but the dizziness feels worse than from that transition. I do have a history of having some dizziness issues but it was usually when getting out of bed or if I was ill.
I'm noticing as well that my sex drive has gone way up, but that I'm harder to satisfy. I'm needing to orgasm multiple times and not feeling satiated by my orgasms. Idk if it's because I'm masturbating and that when I get to see my boyfriend it'll be better, I have not seen him since I started coming off my medication.
I'm sensitive to lower doses of meds than most people and I was on this for four years, fwiw.

No. 117378

some people really like that stuff

No. 117385

I only care about the inside of someone's mouth if I am planning on kissing them. In normal life I literally do not care and never notice if someone has "bad" teeth or not.

No. 117400

Ex boyfriend is liking my Instagram posts, ones about how happy I've been lately.
We're both single and I still like him, ended on good terms because of long distance. Should I message him about it??

No. 117411

What about speech issues

No. 117422

nta but i personally think slightly fucked up teeth and crooked smiles are cute and so is lisping. perfect american smiles are fucking horrifying.

No. 117427

I tried weed but it ended up giving me mild psychosis. Then again I've only smoked THC strains and I don't think that helped. Do you recommend strains with higher CBD for PTSD symptoms?

I also have the funds to see a therapist, so money isn't an issue here. I'm honestly just not sure where to start. I've seen therapists before but I had a huge issue with opening up and unfortunately was let go multiple times because of that, and that was before my friend died. The only time I ever was able to open up to someone was a professor I'm very close with, and he's helped me a lot. I really want to talk to him again (I see him pretty much every weekday as I work with him), but I'm always worried that he finds me annoying (even though he's told me he likes helping me and wants to help me, even). Anxiety is a bitch.

I tapered off of Lexapro once but that was because I moved to another SSRI. But, as someone who stopped taking Sertraline cold turkey after being on SSRIs consistently for 2+ years, the withdrawal symptoms are unfortunately something you will have to deal with, even if you taper off. I've been off SSRIs for over a year now and all the withdrawal symptoms are gone now. Keep at it, anon, you can get through it. You're doing a much better job than I did, seeing that I quit cold turkey. I'm proud of you for not doing what I did.

I had really awful withdrawal that left me bedridden for a while. I hallucinated like crazy and had awful dizziness. My life improved significantly after quitting SSRIs, including my memory coming back (which is now bad again due to the PTSD I mentioned in my post I made earlier).

Also re: dizziness, do you have anemia? I have anemia that's caused by my period. That might be related, look into it. My dizziness went away when I was taking birth control pills.

No. 117467

First time applying for a place to rent. Other two roommates have rented before and have decent amounts of money saved up (one girl has some odd 15,000$ in savings). I’m an idiot who will have ~3,000$ saved by the time I move in, if I do.

The landlord is considering us seriously and asked for bank statements. I already gave my savings acc info in my application and figured they’d just be able to see the amount I have saved and that would be that.

But when I went to look at the pdf of my bank statement, it’s from last month (obviously, I know) and shows my transactions (yeah, I’m an idiot). I wasn’t doing so hot then and it’s showing all my stupid little transactions. I’m so anxious that they’ll see it and see me as not responsible and decline us.

I really can’t afford to keep applying for places. There’s really not much I can do, except try to post pone until next month where my savings will look a lot better, but I know this isn’t possible.

I should have been more responsible. What can I do now? Will they see that I have ~2,500$ in savings at this moment? Should I just cross my fingers and hope for the best?

No. 117468


I think you're fine, anon. They shouldn't care about your misc daily transactions or judge you for them, they're only trying to confirm that you have income and can afford the place. They'll factor the other applicant's financial situations into the decision too, so try to relax. Good luck, hope it works out for you.

No. 117470

I think I'm developing a bit of a crush on my friend? We haven't even been close for too long (started at the very end of winter semester at best) and I don't know how to get rid of it?
It wouldn't be a problem if I didn't already have a boyfriend. This relationship is fairly new as well but he is long distance.

A part of me is maybe just thinking that hanging out and talking in person is nice but I do enjoy all the inside jokes and similar hobbies my friend and I have. Idk. Kind of a vent but also asking how do I get rid of my feelings for my friend? Do I just really enjoy being around them and it's not romantic?
I don't have many friends so I don't want to mess this up. Sorry if this sounds middle school tier.

No. 117472

Damn. Where are you in the world that the renter makes you provide bank statements?

No. 117475

thank you

No. 117478

nta but where do you live that they don‘t?

No. 117505

just keep it cool and let the friendship develop organically. if your feelings are actually romantic, I'd honestly advise choosing the IRL guy over the LDR if it comes down to it.

irl > ldr, no contest

No. 117523

I feel like my body/mind are exaggerating a lot but I’m confused so idk where to turn

My bf and I have had quite a rough patch in fall last year. We temporarily had to live together in a really tiny space, were around each other 24/7 and on top of that I was dealing with a really bad episode of depression. My libido was basically non existent. My bf has a really intense sex drive so he was constantly trying to initiate sex. I felt bad about not meeting his needs, was frustrated because I missed my libido myself and got really defensive because of it. I started to feel pressured and got upset that we just couldn’t spend time together or cuddle without him making it sexual. Granted, I didn’t tell him it made me feel pressured and bad for quite a while.
We fought a lot during that time and it all was very, very exhausting.
We fixed all of those issues though, get along perfectly fine again and our sex life is back to where it was.

Now I’m in this random Facebook group with a bunch of people. This one guy is kind of going through something with his girlfriend and he’s very vocal about how they’re not having sex, how frustrated he is, how jealous he is of others guys that are getting nudes and action from their gfs etc.
And even though I don’t even know this guy it stresses me the fuck out.
Like, even from just those comments I start feeling pressured and anxious. It feels exactly like my boyfriend made me feel back last year.

Now I don’t want to throw around words like that this easily but somehow I feel a bit like maybe this time back last year traumatized me a little without realizing? Like, I never felt it was that bad back then but I get a really intense physical and mental response for how benign this Facebook stuff is, considering that I know neither this guy nor his girlfriend?
It’s also the first time anything has triggered this kind of response in me.

I don’t know, I’m just confused. Should I try to work this out or just ignore it? I might just be pms-ing and I genuinely can’t tell if I’m severely overreacting or if this is a legitimate reaction?

No. 117524

That group sounds really stunted and unhealthy. You should probably leave regardless.

No. 117525

Yeah well that already happened, haha. Don’t even remember how I ended up in there in the first place.

No. 117530

Your boyfriend is disgusting and selfish. It sounds like you're traumatized naturally because he treated you like shit while you were going through a rough time instead of supporting you. I don't know how long you hid it for but he should have guessed something was wrong with you if your libido suddenly died. He's lucky that you're still able to be intimate with him instead of just getting turned off completely from the pressure and negativity. Sorry, your boyfriend is a piece of shit.

No. 117563

right now my life is mainly school, seeing my 8 month old nephew a lot, and i'm about to move at the end of this month. that's pretty much all my life is about right now.

yesterday, my mom called me after a while of not talking. she kinda gets distant every once in a while. i've never felt like she was my mother, but rather another sister. she asked me 3 things: if i was in school, if i have seen my nephew lately, and if i've moved yet. it really hurt bc like those are the main things in my life and you straight up don't know what's going on with me. after i got off the phone w her i cried a little.

today she texted me asking if i need help moving. i don't, i have my brother in law and my dad, then we're meeting my sister and nephew for lunch. i feel like it would be nice to invite her but she can be annoying and slow which would make stuff more difficult than it needs to be. she's so innocent and pure, just a little stupid and i don't feel like dealing w that. plus i'm still hurt how she sees her own family 12 hours away more than me. i probably won't see her for a while if it's not on my moving day, bc frankly i just don't want to. i know i'm so lucky to still have a mother, and one who loves me at that, but i just feel removed from her. i don't want to hurt her feelings though. maybe i'm an asshole, if so let me know. i just feel like she, along with anyone, could die any day and i want to make the most of our lives together. it's just hard right now

No. 117565

bitch, where?

No. 117571

A guy has been harassing me for months. We were friends but when I turned him down he flipped. I have him blocked everywhere but he makes new accounts. He lives overseas in the UK.Is there anything I can realistically do about this? Obvious cops won't care but I'm so sick of waking up to threats and insults on my phone. I have all my social media etc locked down but I'm going to have to change my number at this stage, which is a huge inconvenience and will impact my work.

I'm just pissed I'm going to have to probably change my phone number because some guy won't leave me alone.

No. 117597

I'm not sure about your carrier but you can block the number at a service level. For ATT you download this app https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.att.callprotect and just add the number. I had an international stalker just like this, he very may well still be messaging me but he's just talking to a brick wall now.

It is unfortunate though I basically had to leave all social media and completely wipe my online identity because one time I was nice to an incel and he thanked me by becoming my creepy stalker.

Lesson learned I guess.

No. 117996

File: 1562006465379.jpeg (56.72 KB, 800x450, 41FA59B4-1781-4B36-BD85-567AB2…)

Straight woman here who’s probably settling down with her bf in a few years. I’ve always thought I might be into women since I was a kid since a female friend kissed me, I wanted to kiss other girls sometimes as a kid, and when I saw porn it was strictly lesbian. I became asexual in my teenage years with antidepressants, never dated anyone and then later got off of them, met my boyfriend in college who i’m currently with. I have no issues with being attracted to men, but I’m really weirded out now because I think fakeboi looking girls (not self-identifying trans men) are really cute. I can’t say that I’d enjoy having sex with one because most of my sexual fantasies involving women were with femme women.

It came to me when I was watching Age of Youth 2, a korean drama (yeah…), that I found a GNC female (who’s straight) to be really cute and developed kind of a crush on her. I guess I thought for a while that if I was going to go for a woman, it’d be the femme type but then again, I’m dating a man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’m also not up for threesomes, breaking up to explore my sexuality, or whatever.

Is there a way to tell if I’m actually into women or am I just into these girls because they look like effeminate men?

No. 118004

Starting from around the beginning of 2019 I've been having problems of blacking out when I'm drinking even when I feel like I'm drinking responsibly.

For example, yesterday I went out with some friends and had two pints of beer and a martini in the span of three hours which considering my build I think isn't a huge amount (I'm 5'8" and around 150 pounds). I had dinner beforehand with protein in it and not once during the night did I feel nauseous or dizzy. I was also functional enough to make the 30 minute walk back to my apartment no problem. I remember everything about getting ready for bed, making myself some drunk ramen and then going to sleep, but the next morning my roommate asked me how I was doing because apparently when she came home I was throwing up in the bathroom and she had to clean up after me. I have absolutely no recollection of this so I assume I must have woken up at some point in the night while blacked out and done this? I just want to know what I can do to prevent this from happening because even when I feel like I'm pacing myself and don't feel shitfaced I will occasionally still black out and I don't know why. Have any anons had similar experiences or know possibly why this has been happening to me? It's so embarrassing.

No. 118020

Maybe because you're getting older. People's bodies change all the time. You're blacking out because you're drinking; the solution is to stop drinking.

No. 118068

This sounds like something you should ask your doctor about, a quick phone call can't hurt can it?

No. 118112

Tinfoil but maybe your flatmate is gaslighting you. Where is her proof?

No. 118915

File: 1562904349017.png (105.15 KB, 500x286, V1sXN.png)

how to put less thought into what others think of me, farmers?

i know for a fact that i'm nice and well adjusted enough, kinda pretty, have a good future and work hard! but i get subjected to a lot of girl on girl hate and my confidence is weak enough to let it bother me. people
tell me i'm an idiot for letting it get to me and that they're "just jealous" but… are they really?

how are some of you so strong in the face of shittalk? can you beat some sense into me?

No. 118922

i think the best way to stop caring is to not assume people are jealous. most people who think others are "haters" constantly talk about them, if that tells you anything. accepting that people sometimes won't or don't like you is really important, more than simply trying to shrug it off.

No. 118929

remember people are way too concerned with their own image to be too concerned with yours.
there's no better revenge than living well and ignoring opinions.

also the older you get the less you care because people die and you realize your own mortality and people who give you shit about the little things are the ones who are gonna suffer in the long run. be obnoxiously yourself, people respect that.

"it ain't that I'm too big to listen to the rumors, it's just that I'm too damn big to pay attention to 'em"

No. 118930

are you fucking 12? this is piss poor advice. how the hell can you claim you don't give a fuck if you're basing it around how much you care it bothers others?

other people definitely do care about you, especially if they are concerned with their image. people like that care more about others because they need to belittle them to feel better.

caring that someone is going to "suffer in the long run" or not, is also a huge sign of an insecure twat in denial about how much they care. you are literally what >>118922 mentioned about constantly talking about "haters".

No. 118933

How can I help myself get up earlier and be more productive? I feel like a lazy oaf all the time

No. 118967

Watch this anon.

No. 118968

In my experience, you can live with a lack of self-awareness that makes you ignorant to what others think or you just get hit with enough shit to make you numb. With the former, that's something I only experienced growing up and it's a state of mind that I grew out of during my adolescence, for better or worse, and the latter is like a state of temporary resignment that isn't totally healthy. So, I guess my advice regarding your situation is to just accept things for what they are, accept and acknowledge that it does effect you, but to carry on and focus on yourself and your goals to the best of your abilities. If you find yourself lingering on something excessively then recognize that and push yourself to focus on something else.
Sage cause rambling.

No. 119000

it gets easier once you make a habit out of it. you just have to..start. have something to look forward to in the morning that will motivate you to get out of bed. in my experience waking up early inherently makes me do productive things

No. 119117

File: 1563117840206.jpg (Spoiler Image, 327.13 KB, 1414x514, 20190714_162151.jpg)

My eyebrows are so uneven, they are awful. I've been growing them out as much as I can for a while now, and I'm due to get them shaped. Question is which shape is more natural for me?? I have no idea why my left eyebrow is shorter and thicker…its always been this was, so I figure it's better to match the right to it? Any eyebrow wise anons here to help?

No. 119121

Idk they don’t look too off from each other. I would say just pluck the strays and fill them in

No. 119360

they say castor oil helps them grow. gotta be honest though like i would not notice this at all on you.

No. 119384

File: 1563317061848.jpeg (4.02 KB, 224x224, images.jpeg)

How can you be interesting to people without turning yourself into a clown?

It's unfair, I try to be funny and nice and people instantly think I'm some sort of tool for their entertainment. I can't stand when people say things like:
>we are bored, so say something funny/interesting
>you said something quirky the other day, do it again
>you are the one who always breaks the ice
>what about you start a debate around a topic? you know a lot of things, whatever is fine (butwewillbedisappointedifwedonthavefun)!

It's like I'm a machine or a TV. I want to be interesting to people, I don't like to be boring or dull, but is frustrating when people assume you're 24/7 thinking about deep topics or something.

No. 119396


keep the clownery to one on one conversations & add in funny quips every so often if you do find yourself bored in a group

if you tend to be performance-y or dramatic then cut down on that

good luck

No. 119410

File: 1563347845856.jpeg (34.17 KB, 418x522, F86889D4-8731-407B-8EF2-B4E44F…)

I need advice but my problem is so stupid that I'm almost too embarrassed to ask. Basically I've always gotten by on online work but my circumstances have changed and I need a real job quick, most likely a shit-tier retail job where I have to work a cash register. The problem is I have a lot of anxiety surrounding math of any kind because my math skills are horrible, we're talking certified retard levels. I'm scared of giving someone wrong change and getting yelled at, cuz I will definitely cry. Is there any way of telling an employer I'll do anything except handle cash? Please help me anons

No. 119411

Most cash registers will do all the calculations for you and you just need to count out denominations, it's not really maths. And I'm not sure about where you live, but where I am 99% of people use their card to buy things so it might not be as important as you think.

Anyway don't get stressed before you even try it, even if you find it difficult at first maybe it's time to improve your skills.

No. 119416

As for giving change, just do the math outloud, it's only additions so "50 and 10, 60, and 5 65", it's not hard and it helps you keep track. I did this when working with cash and people didn't think it was weird. You can do it!

No. 119428

Adding onto the other advice you got, seriously try some basic online math tests / games or phone apps. Change is all addition and subtraction, so you can definitely improve those mental skills to help you feel better prepared.

Delete Post [ ]
[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Discord ]