Ayrt, do not fret anon I know EXACTLY how you feel I'm not joking. I feel really stupid for even liking my husbando in the first place because I KNOW he's probably a shit person. But what made me feel better is that the idealized version of him in my head makes me happy
and that is a good thing– it's good to be happy! Especially if you've been struggling a little (I know I have) ad if there's this guy in your head that gives you these little feelings, that is okay. He is a made up version of the 3DPD husbando, I know you were upset that it wasn't the real thing but you are also upset that he's just a regular moid… in my case I am using this crush to better myself. I know the version of him in my head is probably completely different from how he acts in real life but the constructed version makes me happy and motivates me to do things. I just focus on that feeling of joy and motivation. Try your hardest to not think of what-ifs and the disappointing truth because like you were saying, you will most likely never meet him (I know, it's sad) but you can have whatever you want in your head, no it's not reality, but you are allowed to have your fantasies. I hope this makes sense It's my day off and I'm a little high kekkk
but it's going to be okay nonnie
. Just remember that he is, like you said, a dumb male irl. But the fun thing is that he can be whatever you need or want in your head. Think of it in like a faceclaim tumbkr roleplay thing kek. Your made up version of him might be totally different from the irl version, but that's alright. He can be a little puppet to cheer you on and make you happy and to be the perfect other half in your romantic daydreams.
If this is long and rambly, I sincerely apologize kek like I said I'm kind of high but I want you to know that it's alright! You aren't alone with your struggles.