I'm glad it helped anon! It took me a long time to realize I wasn't boring and lacking personality. When I started talking to myself like a weirdo I found I could ramble with the best of them. Felt kind of freeing, really. Good luck to you!>>637128>I am unlovable, I deserve to be unhappy, I can't do anything right
I was here not so long ago and still relapse sometimes, but thankfully I'm in a better place now, and I believe you can be too. My issue with this: >Do I just start mantra-ing to myself that I am an interesting, talented, etc human being
was that my self confidence was so nonexistent that doing the whole self affirmation thing felt like a complete and utter lie. Like, you have to have some
level of self love for it to work, and I didn't, so it failed me.
What did help was CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). It's the same thing a therapist would typically work with you on, but if you want to put the effort in, you can do it solo. I have my reasons for not wanting to pay/see a shrink, so I ordered a workbook I've mentioned in some other threads (https://www.amazon.com/Self-Esteem-Cognitive-Techniques-Assessing-Maintaining/dp/1572241985
) and started pushing through the exercises. It really helps you see yourself in a more objective way and start breaking down damaging beliefs.
One of the most shocking things I learned was along the lines of: "Your value is not determined by what you can do or provide for other people, but in your existence itself. Your life is a result of a million coincidental factors that just so happened to come together to create you, and that
is valuable. You do not have to do anything but be yourself to be 'worthy' of happiness." I started to cry when I read that. I had literally never heard anything like it before, or if I had, I didn't believe it until then. I always thought I had to accomplish great things, always put other peoplPost too long. Click here to view the full text.