Growing up with two narcissistic parents was hell. The psychological and emotional abuse never ends.
My dad used to spank me really hard in the middle of the night because he had dreams where I did something dangerous. I remember once crying for my mom to say something to my dad, but all she did was shush me and tell me I was going to be okay.
All of the family's financial problems were because of me, or they always complained about us being poor when I was around. When my sister was born, suddenly we had money, but only for her. I would throw away field trip forums and never tell my parents about after school events because I had the gut feeling they would tell me we didn't have any money.
My parents made sure that I would never get bullied. We moved to a different city, because they believed if I went to the same middle school my mom went to, I would be bullied. I wasn't bullied so much in my new city, they started bullying me instead. My dad would make sure to tell me he thought my hygiene was terrible and how I needed to stop eating so much. He would come home after a stressful day from work just to tell me how lazy I am and everything I do is stupid.
I was never good enough for my parents. I remember graduating high school, they pushed me to go to college more than congratulating me. When I finally got to college, they pushed me to look for a job because we're too poor, yet I was able to go to classes under student aid. When I got a job, they pushed me to get a second job because I wasn't making enough. My mom also started asking me for money to "borrow". The borrow money ended up going to my sister to pay for her field trips and sports classes or just to donate. Sometimes I would have to give up $20 or so to my sister so she could go out to hang with her friends. At the same time, my parents would not let me hang out with my friends because I needed to do "chores" (it was mostly washing the dishes but that only took 20 minutes at most and when I finished washing dishes it automatically was too late to go out).
I remember looking for second jobs at one point and being a custodian looked like the perfect thing for me, mainly because I'd get good pay and not have to talk to a lot of people, but both my parents yelled at me for even considering the position because I was "too weak" and it was a "man's job".
All of the bullying from my dad and money borrowing from my mom continued up until I moved out at 22.
BuPost too long. Click here to view the full text.