/g/ - girl talk

yes it is real, I thought it was made up / exaggerated bs until i experienced it

I think true/unconditional love is only for biological family (adoption from when the baby is small may also be possible) between a parent and child. Despite having a bad relationship with my mother, i still believe its possible or is on some basis true. Romantically i dont think it should/can; especially how media portrays it.

Im happily married and i would stay with my husband if he was old, sick and or dying. I probably wouldnt stay if he was a serial cheater and i would leave immediately if he decided to troon out or become abusive. So i think this technically is conditional love.

>>161899
I guess it’s a selfish fantasy. There’s something innately appealing about someone finding you so lovable that they abandon normal expectations. However, a deeper understanding of the situation would be that the person is unhealthily fixated on the relationship for some reason. That’s not so flattering.

I don’t know if I believe in true love. My family is messy and I feel distant from them. The feeling is mutual. I’m sure my mother cares about me, but she put her children last all the time, so I don’t think she genuinely loved any of us.

I have thought I loved people I dated, but those feelings always faded away except for with one guy. I don’t think that is true love though, even though it feels as if it could be. I’m very aware of my mental issues and know deep down I’ve been using this “love” as a cope for a while. He seems to have strong feelings for me too, though sometimes doesn’t care at all. We’re not together, but being similarly fucked up and mutually using each other as a cope feels fair.

Maybe that’s what many people’s experience of love is.

>>161899
Not caring about or paying attention to someone is the opposite of unconditional love. True love fully recognises a person's flaws and chooses to embrace them even in times of struggle. Of course you should encourage your loved one's growth and help them make healthy choices. It's important to hold them accountable, too, when they mess up. True love simply means that no matter how often they fail, you recognise that as unavoidable human error and continue to support them.

I don't think that's codependency or unhealthy fixation. Plenty of people confuse those situations as love… If the "unavoidable human error" is a pattern of awful crimes with intent to harm, if your safety and morality are constantly undermined, then the relationship must be reevaluated. You cannot unconditionally love someone who does not love you in return.

That's because it has to go both ways. True love is not an internal feeling, but a shared experience. A connection. Like any relationship, it requires time, patience, communication, and trust. Though it's not always easy or straightforward or sensible, it's real. True love exists.

Pic not super related. Just reminds me of how despite feeling out of place and so surprised that someone like me can be loved, my darling keeps me safe and warm.

>>161950
>Pic not super related. Just reminds me of how despite feeling out of place and so surprised that someone like me can be loved, my darling keeps me safe and warm.

That's so shellfish

>>160417
Thought they fetishized it

>>160417
guys have inverted nipples too, it's normal nipple stuff

>>160363
i have one inverted nipple and the other one is normal which kind of bothers me. i wish they were both inverted, i like the look of it lmao

>>148430
you're probably not still around but i'm a similar size, 30k, and i feel this a lot. i've been saving up for implants

>>136108
In terms of lifting the breast tissue, have you done any weight lifting at all? Pushups and bench presses might help simply by strengthening the muscles under and above them. Additionally stuff like posture really helps overall appearance, so don't forget ones to strengthen your back muscles like flys and, you know, simpler stuff by rolling your shoulders back while sitting. I know this comes off as frivolous but it's simple enough that anyone can do it and less expensive than surgery etc. etc. As for the overall appearance, though, I think that's normal and not even bad? Don't let hypersexualized media get you down anon

>>136847
I feel so awkward about those random strays, but I usually just pluck them. I tried sugaring once but for lack of better terminology that shit hurted

>>136936
From what I've read, a lot of bras that boast support/reshaping (think VS Bombshell Bra types) are actually bad and slowly degrade or destroy the connective tissue. I wear sports bras while working out and that's about it.

Not to be ugly, but is it weird if a guy shows a lot of interest but hasn't once complimented your physicality? He's complimented my mind a ton and shows a lot of signs he's into me, but I want a verbal confirmation. Last time I saw him we were having a good time and I hesitated a bit before leaving because I thought he was going to ask something. And then he asked for a kiss and I got embarrassed and said no. He recently broke up with his girlfriend and he's been forward in messages but never has he once said I'm attractive? He's been flirtatious since but idk if I'm being vain but any guy that's been into me has said something to let me know he finds me attractive. Am I being weird?

>>161946
>>161944

Not really. I'm very socially anxious, work from home, and most of my hobbies are online. Not like I really care for meeting anyone, I just happened to connect with him and meeting seemed like the reasonable next step. Any advice on how I should go about distancing myself from him? Is it even worth talking it out or just block him everywhere. It honestly all seems so cringy when I think about it, like little kid stuff. If he actually liked me we would've met already.

I do like talking to him so maybe we could remain friends dunno

>>161947
I mean, the fact he wanted to kiss you is a pretty strong indicator that he finds you (physically) attractive. Some guys try to avoid saying as much because they know women are inundated with "omg yur so hawt I wanna bang" and that just comes across as shallow, desperate and gross. I would take it as a sign of him being respectful, especially since you're not even officially together yet (it seems)? If anything, you turning down the kiss is going to seem like you're not interested. I would be upfront with him and just ask whether he thinks you're attractive if it's bothering you, so he knows you're okay with it. My boyfriend is actually like this too, mostly because he's a bit shy. But after I told him I like hearing that he appreciates my looks he's much more forthcoming. So go for it and don't hold back on your end if you like him too, otherwise that's going to give mixed signals!

Vent/wanting advice, on my phone so excuse the formatting blah blah.

I'm in a relationship where the guy I'm dating is older. He's really sweet and hasn't been disrespectful towards me or anything in spite of us spending multiple nights together and in close proximity. I feel like I've "seen" him in different circumstances but I've yet to stress test certain other things. He's not a typical scrote which is good, he's vocal about his sensitivities and is communicative.

I do have one really bad feeling though: He's unaccomplished and complacent with it. Don't get me wrong. He has a master's degree the same as I do. He has good work ethic in that he goes to his job, takes it seriously, isn't tardy, etc. But the pay is extremely low and I admit that I'm a bit resentful that despite being older than me (having had more time to have tried to build himself professionally) and being male (benefitting from patriarchal standards like being offered job promotions easier and assumed more competent by default)…he's done nothing besides stay as a store cashier supervisor–no, not a manager. Although he'd been offered to be trained for more responsibility at some point he said he declined because he wants a steady worklife balance. Okay, I get that, store managers don't often have great worklife balances and tons of stress. Try a different career, like an office job like myself? Nah, he doesn't want that. I guess he wants to teach but tbh for his age he's waaaaaay late in the game to be getting into that as someone not certified and has never gotten into education, like he wouldn't be making jackshit for money. He taught privately oversees in Belgium in his early 20s but that doesn't mean anything when it comes to teaching here.

I can be a pickme and try to pretend like money isn't a big deal, but it is. I need a man who makes decent pay, not someone who's just going to be my roommate that I fuck, and be screwed if I ever find myself out a job. I wanna know what it's like to be those pampered women who barely work and have the majority of their life provided for. I'm not asking to be spoiled, I just want the security of knowing that if I needed to be taken care of, that it were possible.

I worked hard and struggled to be seen in my industry, and only after a time of being undervalued and rejected that I finally got a salaried job. Whereas I am so positive that if a male were in my shoes and worked as hard as I did, he'd bPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>161964
Imo it's completely fine if you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to get a better paying job despite being able to, but he's also not in the wrong for not wanting that.

But sure, writing it down in a letter is a good way to get your thoughts and feelings across.

For the past few days, I’ve had a ton of peeling skin on my lips. I’ve been gently exfoliating them with a soft toothbrush and then piling on Vaseline, but it’s not helping at all. Any suggestions?

>>161370
vaseline doesn't moisturize, so maybe get a moisturising lipbalm and apply a layer of vaseline on top of the lipbalm.

>>149778
I get confused for younger decently often and I can attribute most/all of it to just wearing good SPF and not wrecking my skin in the sun. I have undereye circles and pasty skin but it's still smooth. Also neutrogena makes good non-comedeogenic sunscreens and their hyaluronic acid cream is also pretty solid. I swear I'm not sponsored or anything, Neutrogena has always just been a really solid brand for me from 18 yrs when I got acne to the present, pic related, all products I mentioned. You can use other brands or whatever, this just worked well for me. Also, unless you're high altitude or somewhere super sunny (coastal regions, snowy regions) there's no real need to go above 30 SPF. A lot of foundations also incorporate SPF, so look for those.

>>161381
eugh yeah seconding this one, avoid petrolatum as an ingredient in products; while it momentarily seems to hydrate it actually dries your shit out a lot – avoid it in like, as many things as possible, lip balms too etc. burts bees or EOS are my drugstore go-tos for winter lip dryness

>>149778
>don't tan
of course not, self tan btw

>>161906
you think that's embarrassing, imagine being attracted to Sid Vicious

i want to die

>>161906
Girl, there isn't anything wrong with finding John Lydon attractive when he was younger. I'd be concerned now in his current ballooned state, but still. He is very charming.

Paul Simonon is my favourite punk guy. He's so attractive to me and his gap teeth are cute as shit. I met him once and he was very nice and just as handsome now as he was then.

I'm learning guitar and I started watching his videos. He's my favourite boomer.

>>161956
Btw for a long time I thought this was a photo of a young Mike Stoklasa but it was actually Rick kek

>>161956
My dad always has this guy's videos playing on the TV lmao, but anyway i sort of get it.

>>161641
as a 30 something year old goth i say, go for it! join us anon!

i used to want to look just like shmegeh when i was younger. something about how she looked so sickly was so appealing to my 13 year old self. i even bleached my hair and eyebrows to try and emulate her aesthetic. i know she's obv a shitty person but this was around the same time i would sleep with a picture of dylan klebold under my pillow every night, so there was definitely something wrong with my judgement. i do still like the whole "black eye looking makeup with the saturation turned way down" thing. if this came back (minus the anachans) i would be very okay with it.

I fell in love with this style of dressing, edgy but not emo. Jenny was really the reason I wear fishnets with shorts.

>>161641
The fashion in The Craft is everything

>>161877
hnnggg I forgot how thicc he is. I also love his voice. I hate his personality though, you can tell he is a dick pretending to be a nice guy

>>161293
I didn't recognize him without his signature makeup on lmao. Good choice though

>>161877
Istg he need to be casted in historical Movie

>>161900
really? i never got that vibe from him, i feel he's genuinely nice

I’m genuinely terrified to take my birth control. I picked up ortho tri-cyclen on Monday and I’m supposed to start on Sunday according to my gyn, but I regret not telling her I don’t want to go on it. It felt like she was hoping I would say yes, so I did. I stupidly felt like I “owed” it to her for making my pap go smoothly after I was traumatized by a previous attempt by a different practitioner. That actually felt like a horror movie. I know they tried to do it carefully but it felt like they weren’t and the pain distressed me so badly I couldn’t move past the experience for a few days, and was very lethargic. Anyways my period is messed up, but for the most part I don’t even mind it. It’s bearable. But I can’t shake this worry that the pill is going to fuck me up even more, or I’ll react badly to it and will never recover.

>>161905
You shouldn't force yourself to take any medication you don't want! If there's no medical reason for you to go on birth control and you really don't want to do it, just don't do it. You don't owe your gyno anything, and I don't think she has any expectations of you going on birth control really. Still, next time you should bring up your worries and discuss, this is what doctors appointments are for

>>161905
It's your body, so if you're worried don't take it. Just make sure to talk to her about your fears, so she can give you better advice.

Don't know where else to ask about this so here goes: I've had three days worth of ovulation discharge that's dark brown and has blood clots in it. I've never had this before but googling said that it's very common. I've been stressed and depressed lately and not eating well, can stress levels affect how my reproductive system works to this point?

>>161948
Totally can, but just to be safe make sure you note down every thing happening differently in your cycle and if happens more than once, would be good to consult with a gyno even if just for the peace of mind.

>>161887
Holy shit I've ascended. Thank you, anon.

>>161922
where do you find men who look like this

>>161415
I think her name is aggy

>>160335
>>160329
Am I the only one who thinks she's still pretty? Idk why farmers are acting like she looks like a bunt victim

>>161887
>A man is lead by his penis, tamed by release.
wise queen, thank you