update: he showed up to where I was staying. Brought a letter about how he'll change and respect me and he brought a picture of us. I broke down yesterday when I found out museum tickets from my birthday, and shamefully, part of me was happy to see him. So happy. This time I didn't go back though, mainly because my mom came back home and kept me in the room.
He ended up calling the cops and it was a whole ordeal. I know he's toxic
but fuck it broke my heart to see him all distressed. I called him off my mom's phone to tell him not to do that, (he's got a record and my mom said she'd call the cops if he showed up again like that). Ended up being a much longer conversation.
I'm probably sending him one last email, since he called the cops while I was writing my letter to him and I couldn't finish, I just sent what I had off.