I'm currently 10 months into a relationship and I'm starting to have serious doubts. For context, I moved out at 18, pay for myself (food,rent, etc), have a full time job, good terms with family and friends. I'm quite a mellow/non confrontational person by nature, but I'm making an effort to not be walked all over.
My boyfriend is cute and charming, but x years older than me and basically still a teenage boy. Lives rent free, doesn't pay for his own food, lives off government benefits, has a very odd, pessimistic but idealistic (does that make sense?) view of the world, often cussing out that the world isn't like his flavour of the month anime, isn't exciting enough apparently. Unfortunately the type of guy who thinks "These people are so dumb, I would survive so easily" when he watches a disaster/zombie movie. Except hes not 12, hes a fully grown man who still acknowledges himself as a boy.
Basically, this relationship has just been a weird swing depending on how my boyfriend wants to act. One month, he's incredibly sweet, loving, we're having sex regularly and he actually chats with me and wants to see me like a normal boyfriend. But the next month… Blanking me, ignoring me, treating me like I'm some harpy (or his mother) whos trying to ruin his life, refuses sex, complains about being "forced" to spend time with me or cuddle me or even just a little kiss.
I was used to that, but recently, we had a string of fights that made me start to think things aren't going to get better.
His last girlfriend had a very bad case of BPD and didn't take her meds. I almost feel like he's using the mental tactics she used on him on me.
These fights always come about fron him saying something incredibly cold or very insulting about me and then when I don't allow myself to be walked all over, he starts trying to mentally tear me down. Telling me:>He started dating me because my life was together and I was happy (I wasnt; I was worse than I am now) and now I was sad he didn't want to spend time with me anymore after i expressed my worry that I didn't feel afraid of killing myself anymore>Despite the fact he is constantly telling me how awful his life is and all I do is support him
>That I have no life outside of him, no hobbies, no friends, nothing. Its not the case. I knew his friends before he did. I have more hobbies Post too long. Click here to view the full text.