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If the primary reason why you're upset over being ugly is male attention, cut that shit out. Unless you're looking to manipulate men to achiece questionable ends that end up not being worth it, spending resources to keep yourself beautiful for them is like a pig seasoning its own ribs.
nta, but what kind of psychological impacts? I'm courious
I'm average looking but never gotten any male attention irl or online really and it hasn't really impacted me
Obviously this isn't true for everyone, but for me it makes me afraid to even show my face in public. Makes me feel absolutely worthless like I failed at life because I can't even lose my virginity like a normal person. I feel stunted emotionally and I get paranoid that people know I'm still a virgin. I think it has contributed to my depression and possibly body dysmorphia but I know I have other underlying problems that also factor into things. Basically it makes me feel like I'm less than a whole person.
Just wanted to add that I'm not saying being wanted by men is the main goal in life, but I'm getting too old to have children and it makes me extremely sad that I won't ever get to fulfill my dream of having my own family.
I'll say more. People who whine about not being hot, people whose problems are "not getting compliments in public from strangers", disgust me. How can they not realize how idiotic that sounds? And how toxic
it is? Instead of wallowing in self-pity over stupid shit, work on not giving a fuck. That's how you cope.
>>114425>You are not even considered a real woman.
I want to go a step further and say we're not even considered real human beings. I can see a clear difference in the way people used to treat me when I was a very ugly teen compared to how they treat me now that I know enough about makeup and skincare to make myself look average (I'm still ugly without makeup, though).
It really stings to realise that my own parents are much nicer to me now that I can make myself look ok, whereas they used to scrutinise everything I did as an ugly teen and constantly insult my appearance. I don't blame them for it because I understand that it puts everyone in a nicer, more forgiving mood to look at a pretty face than at a disgusting one. I just wish human beings would acknowledge their bias and try to be more objective, but whenever I try to discuss this with anyone, they virtue signal about how they're not shallow and totally don't care about beauty.
I went through something similar as you, anon. I was a fat kinda ugly teen, then lost weight and somehow grew out of it. There is a whole world of difference how people treat you and what they expect from you.
I was always envious that guys can be just ugly and still live normal lives, not be reminded of it all the time. People would always expect me to be nice to them as if i was supposed to be grateful for their attention. Strangers would give out to me if I bumped into them and the list goes on.
People who grew up average/pretty will always say shit like "beauty is on the inside" and "be confident" since they have always had it easy.
Similar experience to you two (was a young fat frumplet with acne), but I feel like what I usually got was either sympathy or being ignored. Every once in a while I'd get the "can't be assed to speak with you bc I wouldn't fuck you" vibe from men, but no abuse. Maybe it's a result where I live and the fact that I was gnc at the time so some strangers assumed I was a young boy with my deep ass voice lol.
A big thing
I remembered was people would treat me like I was stupid more often than they do now. Not sure what that was about.
I'm not a model or anything in my current state, but after losing weight and dressing up every day I do get treated differently. People assume I'm intelligent and capable now and I get positive attention from some men (somehow they're also my type and not intrusive). People are also more eager to let me cross the road…the real privilege.
Also, to first anon, I disagree that being ugly is an excuse for your parents to have mistreated you. Parental love should always be unconditional and what they did was wrong.
The same happened to me. People just ignored me most of the time, nobody was mean but nobody was nice. I had bushy brows, short hair and hairy arms (I'm Mediterranean and looked a lot like my dad… People thought I was just a boy with a squeaky voice). I looked the same throughout my teens until I turned about 20 and then I hit a weird growth spurt and learned how to take care of myself, now that I grew into my face a bit there's a specific subset of people that coo over me all the time and it feels weird.
I'm strangely bitter about it because those same people wouldn't have looked twice at me back then. I try to be as nice as possible to everyone, and I did back then too because that's how my dad raised me, but I always expected the same of others and that is not how others acted before.
She’s beautiful. I never would’ve thought she was self conscious about her nose. It’s very perfect in a neo-classical painting kinda aesthetic. I unfortunately have a hooked big bumpy nose ridge that looks more like a witch’s as opposed to her nice straight picturesque nose. >>114762
My Asian side is half japanese half Chinese. The bump def comes from there but my white side of the family has larger noses. I just got the worst of both sides. My sibs all have lovely petite noses they got from my grandma (the type Korean idols have post plastic surgery) and it makes me jealous and angry that I lost the genetic lottery looking at them
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Im half Korean/half German and I feel like I got the worst traits from each side. I got my dad's square German jaw/chin but the rest looks Asian but Im like 5'10". Honestly thinking of saving up and going to Korea for surgery.
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Jumping on the mixed train, I'm not actually mixed but many people from my country have very… Odd facial features (pic related) for a white person. At home it's fine and people don't pay attention but since I'm an Eastern Europoor I live and work abroad where I constantly get asked where I'm from and people straight up refuse to believe me when I tell them and will argue with me about it.
I feel like shit because I never thought it was that big of a deal. Also since my eyes are really weird, I still can't figure out how to apply normal makeup and Asian makeup makes me look like a weird weeaboo and doesn't suit me either.
Speaking of being mixed race, although I posted earlier about being pretty average atm, I feel like a few traits definitely didn't work out. My hair is the biggest since my mother has curly hair and my father had thick straight black hair, so I have this dark brown abomination that is only curly around my ears. But it also won't fucking curl anywhere else even with heavy hair spray. I really like the vintage look but it either falls out within an hour or just turns into a frizzy mess depending on the curling technique I use.
I also generally have features that resemble my father's side, but I'm pretty pale. Not full white person sort of pallid, but light olive. I feel like it looks dumb idk, just makes me look racially ambiguous. I am grateful that I got curves from my mom's side (father's family has fridge women), but I think my leg-to-torso ratio takes after my father. So I have big hips but also a long torso and stubby legs. At least I got his tendency towards quick muscle gain lol.
These aren't things other people notice I guess, but it's annoying for me to style myself sometimes. >>114791>don't believe you when you say where you're from
Where do people tend to think you're actually from? I'm sorry you also struggle to style yourself in some way.
I have small, hooded lids (not quite as small as the man in your picture, but still smaller than average and weirdly asymmetrical) and what works best for me is to draw a really thin line of brown eyeliner on my top lid, very close to my lash, with a small upward tail. I can't use most eye shadows because they'll smudge where the skin above my lid goes over it, but using concealer as primer and then a light brown powder shadow has worked so far. Any other colours, even just black eyeliner, make my eyes look way too small.
Curling your eyelashes and using a good mascara also really helps with making your eyes look bigger, rounder or more even.
Kinda reverse of your situation
My family is Pakistani and we get mistaken for eastern European a lot
were actually Balti(a very small ethnic group originating from Kashmir)
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I feel like it's really easy to look "conventional" if you have a narrow nose. Big lips, thin lips, big eyes, small eyes, V jaw, square jaw, whatever are more versatile.
Wide noses have never been attractive. Ever. Even hooked noses get credit every so often.
All of my sisters have proportionate button noses and I'm salty. My shit is wide AND hooked.
I cope knowing that I live in a day and age where I can pay someone to get this tumor off my face.
I get what you're saying but its not exactly that simple. For example, a lot of asian girls have broad, flat noses, but they're not too large and they kind of blend into their somewhat flat faces, so they still look just fine or even cute as a result.
Most facial features can either look good or bad depending on their surroundings.
I'd agree that those other things are 'more versatile' though.
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I'm assuming you're referring to EA and SEA.
>but they're not too large
If they're considered small and narrow enough to be "passable" then they aren't what I'm referring to. I don't think most would say West or Sub-Saharan African noses are "not too large" or "cute."
Still, I don't believe the beauty standard in the majority of these Asian countries have ever portrayed the noses you're referring to as attractive or remotely flattering on the face, even if they can blend in with the other features. They just consider the nose unattractive alongside the features that accompany them. There are near ubiquitous filters that automatically narrow the nose and their populations have high rates of rhinoplasty.
Even in the west, Asian actresses will have square jaws and small eyes but not wide noses. Same with black actresses who get rhinoplasty. Same with Latinas, who are mostly represented with thinner, European noses.
Also, no one in the world even draws character designs with wide noses by default if they're supposed to be conventional looking. Even if they're "of color." It's pretty much universally accepted that bulbous noses just ain't it.
You are right though, that it isn't that simple and people find different things attractive. But when it comes to beauty standards, wide noses have never been a part of that, not even marketed as an "exotic" feature like other traits have been.
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Japanese/Chinese/Norwegian anon here. I have the same issue with applying eye makeup too. I inherited both hooded eyes (white fam) and Asian epiphanic folds but with double lids. It’s impossible to do winged liners and apply eyeshadow cause it turns into a smudgy mess. The double lid actually extends farther than my lash line so I can’t even do a sharp wing that flicks up because it becomes distorted with the hooded skin fold. Also when I smile my eyes disappear or one eye is bigger than the other.
Makeup problems aside, my eyes are definitely one thing I like about myself and I think they look pretty, especially with my double lashes condition (distichiasis I think it’s called). My eye colour is also a nice forest green. Idk why but I find a lot of mixed people with Norwegian ancestry have weird coloured eyes, like that Ghost girl from Ant man and wasp movie. She’s half Nigerian and Norwegian I think
>>114813>If they're considered small and narrow enough to be "passable" then they aren't what I'm referring to.
I'd argue that they only have to be small or narrow enough, not necessarily both. If its broad and flat, but kinda small and really quite flat, its totally inoffensive. And sometimes a little upturned snub-nose is pretty cute looking. Im looking at some Japanese school photos as a reference here, although ive seen a few black girls with noses that have that 'upturned snubnose' effect in the past too.
But I guess you're right about beauty standards either way. I cant think of any examples of it being culturally valued in comparison to straight narrow noses, even when in one of the forms I mentioned.
And if its big and stands out then rhinoplasty is probably the best option if you can afford it(and if care about it obv.)
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That just ain't true. Wide noses are feminine feauture.
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Pics? I’m curious lol. >>114683
Should’ve added a reference pic in original post, but my nose legit looks like this but more prominent and protruding with a larger bump. It ruins an otherwise (imo) attractive face. I like everything but my beast of a nose.
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IMO they are jarring, especially if they are bulbous and have an undefined tip. I hate how it's disproportionately massive and unavoidably the loudest thing on the face.
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You ask that like botched rocket noses are the only rhinoplasty available for black people. Nice. Wendy and Michael aren't known for making rational, non short-sighted decisions in their lives.>>114986
Final Fantasy characters lean toward the realistic end of the anime style and they have high nose bridges. In China, there is a trend of using a specific wax to make the bridge higher. And Korean idols will have their bridge raised during rhinoplasty.
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sage for blog but
>tfw pretty enough to get hit on regularly
>but ugly enough that it's always by 40 y/o men and creepy manlets
I'd get it if I dressed weeby like some farmers or was more of an altgirl, but I'm normie-passing. I'd rather be ugly or pretty and just KNOW where I stood but instead I'm in this weird realm of almost-pretty and almost-ugly. I've come to terms with my uglier features and just consider them to be something that makes me unique, at least I'm not average-looking. But it sucks knowing if I was just born with a better nose or thicker lips I could've been a solid 10.
Don't know if I'll ever get plastic surgery. I'm okay with my appearance most days, it just sucks knowing with a little bit of tweaking I could actually be gorgeous and instead I'm just kind of endearingly weird-looking.
Lose enough weight for people not to give a fuck
Most models are ugly at a normal/high weight
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>>115200>mfw took the skinny is beautiful meme>went from 115 to 93lbs>everyone tells me I look like shit including my bf but I can't bring myself to gain weight and keep trying to lose more
fuck my life
Not trying to trigger
you guys back into ana but maybe Pilates? Or other type of elongating exercise would help
Skinny as in dancer/ muscularish long body not malnurished
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Big noses only work on people with big lips, if someone has barely any lips it looks bad but Rihanna has big lips so it looks well positioned on her face also I don't want everyone to look the same there are different types of beauty. If we went by the stereotypical big lips, small nose and large eyes combination barely anyone would be considered beautiful.
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pic related, like i know not lot of people would consider middle aged women hot but i like how the teacher character's(? i haven't seen the show just pictures and gifs) actress from the new sabrina series looks and since i have similar features like her i am hoping i end up looking like her when i am old.
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>better nose or thicker lips
i'm 10 pounds soaking wet my hooked nose receded lips swelled and crops watered thanks
This is true.
I'm biracial (Half black and white) and my nose is similar to hers, a bit smaller and uppity and my lips are thick/plump. I love my features though. But I will say if I had smaller lips my face would look weird as fuck.
Sometimes bigger features can be good, just as smaller ones are too.
Rest assured in the United States, no one would question your European ethnicity, as everyone here is weird looking as shit and mixed with everything.
Off topic, but guy you posted is really attractive and not weird looking to me at all… t. amerimutt
Well done anon this is a really good step! I had this realisation too a few years back and it's slowly paving the way for me to be much more realistic and kind to myself.
My mum never intended hurt me and would always try to reassure me that there was nothing wrong with me but it didn't match up to the body dysmorphic things she said about herself, and now I've grown to look the same as her I have to rewire the internalisation of her self-hatred. Of course I ended up with unhealthy ideals after she was always comparing her adult body against my preteen size!
I hope we can break this cycle.
(forgot to sage last post, sorry!)>>115318
anon, I'm so sorry that you've encountered some frankly disgusting sounding men in your life. I wish I had something more encouraging to offer here
Definitely not a woman's entire worth, but God if it doesn't determine a lot of shit in your life.
My dissatisfaction with my looks is a (pathetically) huge part of my life. Even as a little girl I remember wishing so badly to have the same ending as the "duck" from The Ugly Duckling.
>>115375> My dissatisfaction with my looks is a (pathetically) huge part of my life. Even as a little girl I remember wishing so badly to have the same ending as the "duck" from The Ugly Duckling.
Same. I'm mostly afraid of how it will affect my future work prospects. I have already resigned that I'll never have a guy be interested in me.
On the topic of ugly duckling, I really hate how in such movies they put an obviously beautiful girl to play an ugly girl, so when her transformation is due, there's little difference. But at the same time, it gave me hope that my moment might come. The moment never came. My features never fit into their place and I'm still hideous long after puberty.
> inb4 lose weight, learn 2 makeup
I absolutely hate those comebacks. No, it's not weight and makeup doesn't solve everything. It sucks because in my case I've been treated poorly due to that. It doesn't matter how much of a nice person I was or how much effort I've put into being le decent human bean, it boils down to looks, at least for women. It would be fine if I were ignored but people constantly remind you that they find you ugly. It's not always outright direct, it is direct enough for me to notice.
And I hate that I care that much. I've used to think that I have the smarts to make up for that, but to my bitter realization, I'm not particularly bright either. I wish my parents have aborted me, and I'm being serious here. I wish I wasn't a coward so I could go through suicide. I don't even think I deserve being outside because I constantly think about how I'm uglifying the place if that makes any sense.
Of course, people are keen to say how that's not true, there's happiness for everyone, something something inner beauty and blah blah blah. Euthanasia should be available for people like me.
To be completely honest with you anon, as someone who has gone through a fairly painful ugly duckling process, it's not easy but it's not hard either. The most painful thing about it is witnessing on your own skin the difference in treatment from other people.
I wasn't a monster as a kid, but my parents were always too busy fighting and using me as a divorce bargaining chip to give me the life skills I needed. Grooming, amongst other things.
After my 20s I started taking better care of myself due to leaving shitty conditions and having freedom to look however I want. This is what I learned:
-Makeup, hair and clothes worked a decent amount, but they only do if you find the right style/colour/technique for your face and body. Building a wardrobe is hard and takes forever. I still don't know how, but I can manage to dress pretty nice a lot of the time.
-However, makeup, hair, weight loss etc can only do so much. If you don't have a lot of money or don't want to spend a lot, it's going to be really hard because you'll have to waste some money on experimentation and you'll make mistakes at first.
-I could look decent but I was always homely until I got 3 moles removed from my face and had a nosejob. It wasn't even a drastic one, most people can't tell, but it made a huge difference. Having massive changes to your bone structure is bound to make you look weird but if you get work done bit by bit it's better.
-I got rid of my glasses. I still wear them around the house but they can make any outfit look frumpy so I just wear contacts outdoors.
Honestly the most depressing thing is how when you're frumpy and awkward you don't even have to do much, people will just naturally be annoyed by you, especially women. All of a sudden people got way friendlier since my looks changed, salesladies no longer scowl at me and are super sugary sweet now. Call me names all you want but boys never gave me a second glance back then, to them I didn't exist, but for girls it was open season to pick on me for shit I couldn't help like my ears or nose, and staff usually treated me as an annoyance and were kinda rude always. Back then all I wanted was a friend to rely on and talk to, now I couldn't care less. You can't exactly go back in time and undo the emotional damage, and now I know that how nice people are to me hinges on my physical attractiveness, which makes me bitter as hell.
That's absolutely beautiful anon, this needs to be on a plaque.
Although it would need a disclaimer that thousands of years of science have taught us that hygiene is important too, since I could imagine smelly teenagers using it as a reason why they don't need to shower!
Well for the never finding an interested guy thing, it really depends on a whole bunch of factors including and aside from appearance. Most people with average to below-average appearance can still find someone, from what I've seen anyway (that someone probably won't be drop-dead gorgeous, but yeah). I'm sure there are people who are physically "hideous" but I think they're incredibly rare. Still, it fucking sucks feeling ashamed and humiliated bec of appearance even if no one's literally throwing tomatoes at you. I relate to that heavily.
Yeah that trope really bugs me too. It's a bit insulting to be pandered to like that. I like British actors bec they're a bit more regular-looking compared to Hollywood types.
Well I have to say I agree with the right to die (this is… off-topic) for, like, persistent psychological suffering. I don't think there's happiness for everyone. Do I think both of us are for sure hopeless in getting to a better place emotionally? No. I guess I'm still trying even if I don't think the odds are in my favor. I hope you try your best, anon.
>How to cope with being ugly
I wish I knew.
There's literally nothing that I like about my body, there's nothing that could be even remotely considered attractive.
>too tall, but short-legged + big feet + cankles
>bulky legs (especially my calves look like a man's), littered with stretch marks and very visible veins
>ghostly pale, but dark and thick body hair, loads of moles
I'm so hairy, even on my toes fingers and lower stomach, my legs and arms are worse than a man's.
>too wide violin hips/hip dips, saggy chest, wide shoulders, manlike wrists and hands
>big head, double chin, quare jaw a la Kelly Osbourne, saggy jowels, thin and downturned lips, fat cheeks, nasolabial folds, hook nose + big hairy nostrils, deep and nearly black undereye circles, small hooded eyes, manly brows and forehead, m-shaped hairline + flat hair at the top, dry at the bottom
My face manages to look too fat and gaunt at the same time. I could easily pass for 10 years older than I really am.
So yeah, like others already pointed out, muh perfect diet/skin care/makeup is of no use. Most of those things couldn't even be changed with surgery. I'm just very, very unlucky.
For starters I doubt things are as bad as you say, hooded eyes and a flat ass and chest are normal things. He won't be a perfect human specimen irl either, you're probably hupercritical of yourself.
But that aside let's be real, probably found him on tindr in the first place because he wants either a fuck buddy or a girlfriend, and refusing to ever meet him is stringing him along.
Maybe the two of you are now good friends, but in that case then you should be able to trust him to explain this situation, because you should be able to explain your feelings to friends. If he wants to meet up with you then do it, because postponing it isn't going to fix anything. If he drops you, he was no friend.
ok let's assume there is a "normal default for all body parts. next time you're outside at a bus stop or like a shop and you see a normie couple, try to observe the woman as critically as you would observe yourself. is her hairline "normal" or her wrists "manly" etc. maybe even try this with the workplace's/school's stacy. can more than guarantee that the women will always deviate from your "normal" on multiple accounts. however, this is not to enable you bitching about how "ugly beckies everywhere steal all the chads, so unfair" but rather to understand that you are perfectly within the norm and not a legitimate cave dwelling being. as a woman, your appearance will always be important (unfortunately), however, confidence can honestly do a lot
(I'll assume you're 2 different anons, my b if I'm wrong.)
Why be ashamed of looking your age, anons? Maybe you still don't even look your age, but 22-23 and that's enough not be carded anymore. And maybe it's not even your physique's doing, maybe you changed your clothes/makeup to a slightly more mature style without realising.
Looking younger than you are is flattering but it also comes with its disadvantages, like not being taken seriously in the workplace, being creeped on by pedos, etc.
Looking your age is more than fine, it's normal. Hugs to you both.
It could be a coincidence. I've always gotten carded, I grew up with my mom always getting carded too. I had the same thing happen to me a few months ago. Every time I went out, I didn't get carded. But recently I went down to Florida and I got hazed twice by two different people. Literally made me stand there and recite the information on my ID because they believed it was a fake and I was lying to them. Partially I was relieved because I too had been questioning why I wasn't getting ID'd back home, lol. Sometimes people are just awkward about it. When I was a server, honestly if someone was pretty or made me feel awkward I wouldn't ask, because I'm not confrontational. You could just be getting people like that. Also, if you dress professionally for work this makes a huge difference. My husband and I both wear business formal at our day jobs and NEVER get carded at dinner when we are dressed up. But on the weekend we sometimes get carded.
At 25, you don't look OLD at all. My mom STILL gets carded and she's 40. It all depends on where you're going, what you're wearing, etc.
If you met him on Tinder, he might not be interested in just being your friend, anon. I understand your fears, but I think you should still go for it. I also look better on selfies than I look irl and no matter what angle I use, I can’t really catch my awkward real self on camera. I usually tell guys that while I am not a total catfish, I might not be as attractive irl when I do online dating. I have had guys telling me that they were really happy when we finally met because they thought I was beautiful in reality, too. Maybe it will be the same for you! I also matched with a really hot soccer player once who insisted on meeting me. He loved my pictures, but I could tell that he wasn’t into me when we hung out. It was still a nice day though! Even if a date is not a success in terms of hooking up/starting a relationship, it can be a positive experience and help you gain confidence. And if your teeth really are a problem, why don’t you get them fixed? Good luck, anon!
comforting until you realise that half of women of childbearing age are childless and there have always been rejects and spinsters. you just don't know about them because they're alone.
not to be a debbie downer, but these are things that keep me up.
i don't want to be pretty for men, i want to be pretty enough that people pay attention to what i have to say or for them to care about what happens to me.
i secretly dream of a happy marriage and being swept off my feet/finding real committed love with a kind man but i have known it wouldn't happen for me since i was about 7 or 8. idk if it's because dating culture is different, or there are no nice men, or if it's purely down to my looks. realistically, probably a combo of bad looks, low self esteem, and a shy personality.
I wish I could easily just stop existing in my body. Not quite die, but just. stop.
I'm just gross. bumped nose, fat gains in weird places on my face, small beady eyes too far apart, fat lower lip and no upper, hooded deep eyes with very little lash, two different cowlicks in my bangs so I can't hide my massive 5 head, pasty as shit, constantly red nose and inner cheeks, weird rough patch under my chin (keratosis pilaris, cant be fixed.)
im short and fat too, no matter how nice I try to dress I look like a mid-western mom taking their kid to a parent teacher conference, not a cute 23 yr old girl.
People treat me like I have some sort of handicap, overly friendly, in the way you know they're doing it out of pity.
I hate it. Sometimes I can be moderatelyy okay with my face (with a wig, contacts, heavy makeup/contour/facial taping and shapewear) but the second it comes off I feel like im about to have a mental breakdown.
someone didnt read the post
my issue isnt that im not interested in it. its that im constantly reminded that im lesser while im trying to just live my life. in big and small ways
unintentionally rude comments from store clerks, girls talking about me behind my back while im at concerts, guys saying they wouldnt date me and doing that cringey backpedaling thing because they realize they just said something shitty, going to stores with a friend and everything fits them perfectly and I look like a sack of potatoes.
When I play open world games with customization, I do
spend a long time dressing my characters up.
I'm also /cope/ with depression and going to therapy already, on medication etc etc, so telling me to 'just go enjoy it' isn't going to do shit. Life when you're a woman is heavily dictated by your looks, from how others interact with you, to just being able to do something as simple as going for coffee and a croissant while you do some work.
People are ruder- or they act like they pity you. Both suck.
Being pretty gives you a sort of halo to most people. My cousin is probably one of the most gorgeous people I have ever seen IRL. She looks like a photoshopped insta model but in real life. Hanging out with her, I'm constantly in her shadow/people ignore me, avoid me, etc. (Not her fault, because she's also probably one of the nicest people I know, despite being like, model-level gorgeous and talented as fuck)
We'll go shopping or hang out and dudes consistently approach her- only talking to me to get me to be their 'wingman' or get info from me. Normally she just ignores it bc she has a boyfriend, or we'll both leave.
TLDR: im trying to 'enjoy life' as you so simply put it. Life sucks anyway.
saged for blogpost
I've kept my hair very short for years as a way of avoiding male attention
I'm happy for them to assume that I'm gay or too boyish to bother with
has a point. I don’t think no one would care if she got hurt, but of course men will prefer spending time with the cute girl and help her. That’s just how it works, not just in those situations but also in school, at work… Anon can adapt to that by losing weight and working on her looks or learn to not give a fuck that men will always will judge your looks and treat you accordingly.
My point was that they don't like me as much and that I am aware they would like me more if I was thin. That was just one example but there have been many times when people put her above other people and not just me, to the point of whiteknighting her when someone calls her out on her bullshit and she starts crying crocodile tears. All because they think she will fuck them.
I'm aware it isn't a healthy mindset but mental illness is a bitch
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let us not. you're almost blaming anon for this bullshit. the men are shallow. even if it were her attitude (doubtful), good people aren't just like, "oh, dark alleyway where people have been raped and mugged? well, you're a little snarky, so peace!". your post is namalt tier.
Well, yeah, it's no secret that men aren't too picky about who they fuck
, if you offer them the puss then they'll take their shots regardless.
Do the Chads go out in public with you, take pictures with you that they share openly, and ever express wanting to get into in a long-term romantic relationship with you and actually doing so?
If not, you're the ugly side chick.
>>123419>Do the Chads go out in public with you, take pictures with you that they share openly, and ever express wanting to get into in a long-term romantic relationship with you and actually doing so?>If not, you're the ugly side chick.
This happened to me. I knew it was happening, and even called the guy out on it, but he kept assuring me he liked me, so I was in a weird flip flop of whether or not to trust him because he seemed genuine. I was in denial hard. I told him I wouldn't put out until I got to know him better because something just felt "off." Sure enough, he ghosts me. I regret being as intimate as I did.
why am i such a dumdum
Don't feel bad anon, he lied to you about his intentions like what a lot of scumbags do.
I wasn't so lucky.
Back in grad school I lost a large amount of weight (80+ pounds) but I was still an overweight weird chick. I had very low self-esteem even with the weight loss and I was quiet. One day a semi-cute ultra Chad who was the ~*~vice president~*~ of some stupid fraternity cornered me alone in a library study room and started hitting on me. I foolishly fell for it because I had lost the weight and had a hope that maybe I was becoming somewhat attractive to men. Ngl it made me feel a little validated at first.
Turns out he was more than happy to hang out with me and fuck me in private, but he had a huge problem when it came to anyone finding out. Had a rule that I could be friends with him on fb but I wasn't allowed to tag him in any pictures or statuses. That was probably so he could get away with keeping me as a side chick among others he had, and not letting anyone publicly know he was with me. Anytime we hung out in public it had to be very low key, like at a frat house party or late night with his mates because there'd be plausible deniability that I was just a thirsty slut he was pity porking.
He was never going to take me seriously.
Then I met my ex and started dating long term. Chad bro quickly deleted me off social media and ghosted me because he knew I wouldn't be fucking him anymore, and so my usefulness was up.
My only consolation was that this Chad had a tiny dick, and was probably fucking someone like me to compensate for his own low self-esteem as I think even Stacies would have laughed about his pathetic bedroom performance.
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You are beautiful
Every single one of you
Here's some thoughts nobody asked for: I don't really have the incel mentality of 'beautiful people have everything and ugly people have nothing and will get nothing' (I think that's rather black and white), but I'm still obsessed with my looks relative to others'.
Like, I know being a universal sex symbol doesn't necessarily make for a euphoric life (people like Marilyn Monroe and Hedy Lamarr were unhappy for arguably most of their life, so you can be beautiful and yet troubled and feel empty). So at this point I think it's just an emotional/subconscious thing I have with looks. I didn't really want to bang as many Chads as possible or be a VS model and have people jack off to me, it's more like I just wanted to be exceedingly beautiful so I wouldn't feel shitty about myself, because anything less than that would be losing. Or my subconscious thinks that's the key to confidence and being accepted. I did desperately want to be accepted.
So anyway, I do think that lookism exists and that average-looking people get ignored in favor of pretty people, at least at first, and have less opportunities/chances. And I agree that it sucks. Women are constantly bombarded with how important it is to be beautiful, to an extent that men aren't, and I don't agree with the 'everyone is beautiful' campaigns in terms of physical beauty. But then again, do the Chads even really care about "Stacies" beyond wanting to fuck them? Super-hot women get objectified and creeped on a lot. And if you want to have a successful career but you're a hot girl (in "serious" fields), you won't be taken seriously. So anyway, life sucks as a woman, period.
I was raised in the fashion industry arguably the most self absorbed place ever
>do think that lookism exists and that average-looking people get ignored in favor of pretty people, at least at first, and have less opportunities/chances. And I agree that it sucks. Women are constantly bombarded with how important it is to be beautiful, to an extent that men aren't, and I don't agree with the 'everyone is beautiful' campaigns in terms of physical beauty.
Yes but we also live in a world where men prefer women to be seen not heard
>But then again, do the Chads even really care about "Stacies" beyond wanting to fuck them? Super-hot women get objectified and creeped on a lot. And if you want to have a successful career but you're a hot girl (in "serious" fields), you won't be taken seriously.
But if you are ugly then you aren’t even spoken to in any industry and get shoved in the worst possible way
We can’t win
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I’m on the same boat. I was buttfucking ugly from my early middle school days all the way until after high school. I was (still am) super insecure and had bangs that did not suit me at all, but kept them because an old friend told me I looked less ugly with them. At least she was honest with me. The only compliments I would receive from friends were for my personality.
Anyway, cut to after high school - I finally found a hairstyle that suits my face, learned how to decently do makeup, and am currently exploring my fashion taste.
When I visited my family I haven’t seen in a while, I got compliments on how pretty I looked for the first time ever. Instead of that making me feel good I felt like shit instead. I honestly wanted to cry. I’m still ugly without makeup. I don’t think I could ever let anyone else (besides my parents) see me without it since I got that reaction.>>115412
Same with me. I cannot leave the house without filling in my brows and putting on eyeliner. I feel naked without them.>>123794
If it makes you feel any better Anon, Angelina Jolie, Margot Robbie, and Lucy Liu all have square jaws and they’re absolutely beautiful in my opinion.
my ability to cope has been getting a lot worse lately. to the point that im afraid of going outside where people might look at me. i just really hate the idea of existing in a body that an be perceived
im below average. i posted about this before, but my mom permanently fucked up my scalp when i was a kid so i grew up with large bald spots that i cant hide for my whole life
it doesnt help that natural black hair isnt really considered attractive when the curls arent loose and thick. people made fun of me in school for having a dark upper lip/mustache, looking like a guy, being chubby
i got my dads very large/wide nose, a big and round forehead, long face, sparse eyebrows, an overbite, a man chin, small eyes, really bowed legs and small tits, im shaped like a frumpy exaggerated pear
most of the time i dont feel like im human. i feel like no one else would accept me as human either. like others have said, catching a glimpse of myself can ruin my whole day. I just feel like a goblin hiding away in its cave
chemical relaxers repeatedly burning my scalp + tight hairstyles. Some of my earliest memories are of crying about how much it hurt then being yelled at for being “tender-headed” lol
itried that years ago and it made me feel better than cause it was less obvious at a distance, but theyre too large to go unnoticed if youre looking right at me unfortunately
ive blocked her basically everywhere, another friend of ours (mutual) dm'd me bc she had been bitching abt me to them.
It just sucks. she's very petite, big warm gold/brown eyes, cute disney princess type nose and wavy blonde hair.
I'm much broader (wide shoulders, muscular legs) with dark brown hair and grey-blueish eyes. It feels like shit to find out how she viewed me, and the fact that she likely ENJOYED it makes it so much worse, and now I'm wondering if she was talking me down when I wasn't right there to hear it…
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>small breasts, like A cup, even though i'm not even skinny but average (170 cm/58 kg, feeling a bit fat…)>flat ass>bad teeth from years of bulimia (yes i managed to quit but i did irreplaceable damage)>bad nails (ugly shape)>manly sausage hands>literally no eyebrows, they're fucking light grey, i have to dye them for them to stand out (makes me look even more bald and ugly)>thin ugly light brown flat hair (grows so slowly and just hangs off my head, always looks dirty, i try to do highlights but i still look like shit)>bad skin (not acne, zits and blackheads though, fine lines…)>extremely pale, uneven skin tone with red splotches, burn easily and never tan (this makes me feel super fucking ugly especially, i lather myself in sunscreen and still i burn and look so hideous and trashy)>HUGE NOSE, i have been bullied so much about it, it is wide and bulbous and the profile is awful, it makes me suicidal that i can't even afford surgery>hooded eyes, i look like steve buscemi
>no friends, female or male>have a boyfriend but that's it, i'm constantly paranoid he finds someone better, it would be so easy for him>bf is the only man i ever dated>no other man has ever seriously tried to hit on me, instead i got bullied by girls and boys alike all my life>never talk to anyone about my appearance issues of course, try not to self-pity too much but it's killing me>if my boyfriend left me i honestly think i'd be alone for the rest of my life>>114720
god, if her nose is considered big, i can only imagine what people think about mine>>114848
that nose fits them and they look very cute. i think that wide noses can fit black/very tan mixed race women but on white people it's just ugly as hell. i am very pale, round features and my nose is like that and i'm fucking hideous
This hurts anon cause you are basically describing me.
Drawing on your eyebrows really makes a difference though. I go from 2 to a 4/10 easily.
Honestly anon there's a lot "fixable" here
>small breasts, like A cup, even though i'm not even skinny but average (170 cm/58 kg, feeling a bit fat…)
Excersise, build muscle
if you have the money and are willing to spend it, the dentist can fix a lot
so grow them out. The shape of the nailbed is hardly noticeable if you grow them out and file the tips into a nice shape. Also keeping them neatly polished helps a lot
>manly sausage hands
again growing out nails will make your hands appear more feminine
>thin ugly light brown flat hair
dye it. Use products to create more volume and experiment with hairstyles
this is not a bad thing anon. One of the most prettiest girls I know has a skin with 0 pigment and she's stunning. Wearing the right colors makes a world of a difference. Also you can wear foundation or tinted moisturizer/bb cream to even out your skintone
that's not a permanent state, you can totally get yourself friends and a social life if you're willing to work for it
>i'm constantly paranoid he finds someone better
so improve yourself and have a little bit trust in your partner
improve your diet
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When I look in the mirror I generally like what I see. I feel pretty to myself. I even looked in a flipped version of the mirror image at a science museum (supposed "true mirror") and I still felt okay with what I saw. My bf calls me beautiful all the time.
But whenever I see photos of myself I don't know what happens. Whenever I take group photos from far away everyone looks more or less like themselves, but I look completely different, in the worst way possible.
My face is round like the moon, my hair looks thin and limp, my lips do a disappearing act, I have unfortunate fat distribution so that when I laugh my mouth area looks like it completely separates from the rest of my face and I look like an old, fat baby. Closeup photos aren't as bad but I still look busted a lot of the time, especially on photos taken by others.
Recently I started working with these two guys and we were browsing some pictures I took on my phone. They saw one of my profile photos for WhatsApp and were really surprised because I looked "nothing like myself".
Then, as we kept looking, they kept pointing out all my worst photos, usually taken from a distance with my eyes closed and a stupid look on my face, and saying I look "a lot more like myself" there. They didn't know which ones I prefer so they weren't doing it on purpose.
I also noticed that people ignore me a lot of the time and just won't talk to me. I've never been flirted with except for a few random African immigrants on the street, nobody but the people who are "supposed to" tell me I'm pretty does so, I'm not fat or smelly, I don't dress poorly (just kind of average), I'm not mean or weird socially. A few times others have noticed the same, so I made a joke about how I'm just not the best looking, which usually makes people go "nooooo that's not true, not at all" and it just sounds like very hard work to spare my feelings and I always feel lied to. Sometimes I wish people would just tell me honestly what they think.
seriously this. People have straight up told me they thought I was a cold bitch before they got to know me. Apparantly my neutral face is perceived as very cold and bitchy by others, especially if I'm minding my own business. (which is annoying because I can't go around smiling 24/7)
Anyway you might be giving a total different vibe off to others than you're thinking and be completely unaware of it.
Thirding this rbf point.
Just last year I was checking out a guy who I saw around uni and he approached me and asked if I "have an issue with him."
Perhaps anon has that problem + has a tone of voice that adds to it? I'm also monotone when nervous and it makes me sound annoyed even if I'm not.
It is unfortunate but she already has a bf so it's nbd in the end.
It's possible, I do have legitimate, professionally diagnosed assburgers so it could be that. Around strangers I'm slightly anxious 90% of the time and I always think that everyone considers me a weirdo.
But I've worked so hard to practice small talk, mind my body language, not stutter and not feel overwhelmed in public and "blend in" that it just feels very unfair that no matter how hard I try people still won't talk to me because of my face.
Thanks for the responses anons, I don't really know what else to say.
I was extremely unfortunate looking until 16, so I noticed the BIG difference in the way you are treated. Suddenly my male teachers (gross) acted surprised and told me I was getting prettier, also my classmates saying "wow you look pretty today". You suddenly stop being a zero in the left, they start to invite you out, when they take pictures I usually leave, but suddenly I NEEDED to be in the picture.
Also fuckboys and jocks chasing you without even knowing you, the ones who used to bully me, wasn't the most pleasant thing. Women too.
I also started to get harassed in the streets and public transportation. I hated feeling objectified, like a piece of meat.
I didn't even changed the way I dressed, using baggy and masculine clothes, but that didn't stop anything. Even when I got a pixie cut,nothing changed.
Really don't know how pretty girls go around dressing like actual women without fear.
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Same. It doesn't help that I'm actually super empathetic and instantly pick up on negative vibes. If people don't like me, I don't want to bother them, which in turn reinforces their perception that I'm an arrogant bitch who doesn't want to talk to them.
I even had friends tell me they thought I wanted to be left alone in situations in which I wanted a hug.
The only situation in which I enjoy suffering from resting bitch face (or being a sperg, or both) is when me or my friends get unwanted male attention.
How do my fellow RBF anons feel about "anti-resting-bitch-face" surgery? https://nypost.com/2019/09/16/women-are-getting-plastic-surgery-to-fix-resting-bitch-face/
[Samefag] Now that I think about it, I don’t think it’s my face as such. When guys hit on me (rarely) their faces slowly turn from cheerful to kinda uneasy within the first 60 seconds of the conversation, even if I’m responding positively. I know that I subconsciously furrow my brows a lot, so maybe botox would help (or maybe I have a very weird voice or it’s my general autism or all the above kek).
The only time this doesn't happen is when I'm on MDMA, which incidentally is also how I meet the guys I end up dating…
I use my new, public facing job as an opportunity to study why some people come across as arrogant/mean even though they didn’t say or do anything offensive. Maybe it’ll help me figure out what’s wrong with me. I noticed that some people look really fucking weird while they’re listening to others talk. They frown and clench their jaw like you just insulted their entire family or they furrow their brows and leave their mouth open, looking like they didn’t understand a single word you said. I’m pretty sure most of them don’t realise what they’re doing with their face.
I think there's a relationship between eating disorders and body hair. Good luck, anon.
I'm keeping watch over my sister because she has unhealthy tendencies with her food. She was overweight as a kid and seems terrified about being fat again, but she doesn't have the proper knowledge to maintain herself properly. She just does the typical "I guess i'll just eat crackers today lel" that so many dumb fuck girls do.
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Pretty girls will be able to call out fellow pretty girls. Same with unattractive girls.
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I feel like no matter how much I 'improve' my appearance, I'll never actually look good because of my nose.
I can't wear make up any more because it just makes my nose more obvious. I know this is gonna sound cringy but I'll often jealously watch outfit and make up videos wishing I could try stuff like that without coming across as 'polishing a turd'.
Obviously I have other imperfections but I see those other flaws often enough in those types of videos that to me they don't seem to matter as much.
A shitty nose is one of the most easily corrected ugly features.
Yeah it a bit pricy but insurance may cover it if you have even the slightest breathing issues, i have chronic sinusitis and if i wanted all abroad nosejob train choo choo
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I honestly don’t know how long I can take living in this body when I constantly compare myself to other women. This is torture. Other people on this planet are going through worse shit and here I am crying over the way I look. Can someone please beat me to death with a giant stick.
Stop complaining and do the same things those girls have to do to look like that
It’s like having a computer in pieces and complaining you can’t connect it to wifi
Fix yo shit
height and weight?
might just be bone structure, which you should learn to embrace and enhace through styling
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Camera lens and lighting can change how people look in pictures compared to real life.
And "cute" is better than nothing lol. How is that an insult?
How do you feel about your children not looking like you? What message will you be sending them by doing PS?
I feel like that is the key question, not have you betrayed yourself or are others tricked.
People won’t notice if the result looks natural. I went from a crooked nose with a small beak to a straight, but natural nose and I didn’t have to deal with any comments or rumours. I told everyone that I was getting surgery for health reasons (partly true) and that was it.
When I showed pictures of my old nose to my friends they were shocked and said they never noticed how crooked it was. I feel like most people don't pay attention to individual flaws and look at you as a whole. If you suddenly have a straight nose, they just assume you always looked this way. "You look different, but I can't quite put my finger on it," is a comment I got a lot. Plastic surgery only registers with them in the form of Kylie Jenner lips and huge bolt ons.
Chin surgery would probably be even less noticeable, especially if it balances out the changes from the nose job.
Look at before and after pics from different surgeons and try to find one who goes for a natural look. Avoid surgeons who give all their patients the same cookie cutter nose, no matter if it suits their faces or not.
None of what I said applies if you want drastic, exaggerated changes. However, you should only opt for extreme results if you have the confidence to deal with the reactions. >>126641
I think it’s highly unlikely that your child is going to be a miniature version of yourself. My mom has a tiny, upturned nose, so who knows how my hypothetical spawn would look like.
I didn’t hate my nose as such, I only hated it on me
. It could have been beautiful on a woman/man with bigger eyes, lips and just bigger features in general, but on me it looked off
. I feel more like myself post surgery than I did before. If my future child inherits my nose, maybe they can pull it off? And if it makes them unhappy, I’d be completely fine with them getting it fixed at the appropriate age, though I wouldn’t actively encourage it.
Same. Also, my nose wasn't an exact replica of my dad's – it had some of my mom's potato-y features. It was a Slav-Middle-Eastern Frankenstein nose.
I look more white/less ethnic now, so I do feel kinda bad for getting rid of a feature that signified my father’s side of the family. But on the other hand, nobody would have guessed my background before the surgery either. I just looked like a white girl with a weird nose.
No one here wants to shoot up men for not finding them attractive.
So less incel than thought
Y'all are equally superficial.
Wah wah, I'm not Chad, wah wah I'm not Stacy.
Men typically direct their frustrations outwards, women inwards.
That is the cause of the difference between them shooting up others with guns, and you shooting up yourselves with silicone.
>>126962>plastic surgery>improving oneself
No, improving oneself would be working through their self-esteem issues and not mutilating their body.
Of course it's nothing in comparison to murder but men often do hurt others before themselves while women tend to hurt themselves the most.
What an utterly nonsensical comparison. I mean, to start with women being insecure about their looks doesn't indicate they're a virgin. And externalizing blame is the defining factor of being an incel and why they are shitty people, the concept literally means being celibate 'involuntarily'. Anyone who doesn't hold other people responsible for their virginity is just a normal virgin. You said yourself that women don't do it so… they have nothing in common, your post was pointless, the traits that make incels human garbage are not present in anons who want to get surgery so why make the comparison?
Incels aren't even particularly superficial with regards to themselves anyway, they think their looks shouldn't have to matter at all and resent women for having any physical standards at all. Their main issue is just how it limits their access to sex. Women just accept that men have standards and feel bad about not meeting them, and it runs so deep most of us feel the urge to improve our appearance even if they aren't consciously trying to impress men or get sex.
not only is comparing pc to murder completely ridiculous, as other anons have pointed out, incels dream of plastic surgery, too.
Incels and people who choose plastic surgery come from the same place.
Feelings of inadequacy brought on by perceived societal standards.
They're both bad ways of coping with the same issue. You can argue which way of coping is worse, sure.
But it would make more sense to adress the underlying cause.
So you're making fun of people who believe that.
1) Care to explain why they're wrong?
2) Why do people who are wrong deserve ridicule? They don't. Say what you will replying to the first question, none of it makes it ok to ridicule people with different beliefs.
It's you who tries to draw a false line between two related issues.>actual, realized societal standards
are exactly why people seek plastic surgery. And turn to inceldom.
Fight the boogeyman scaring people. Don't fight the people.
Ime most of the people who said not to change something were doing it to seem polite and out of fear that they would offend me. None of my friends have been mean or wished me ill after I graduated from high school and left such people behind, and even then it was super obvious that those people had their own problems to resolve so they were feeling insecure.
The only one who's honestly come the closest to being a "frenemy" was my ex, which is why he's an ex.
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I honestly wonder how people get plastic surgery without being afraid the surgeon is going to butcher them, even if you do a lot of research, every surgeon has bad reviews. And it's hard to tell which reviews are fake and which aren't. I think that's the only thing stopping me from getting a nose job.
If it makes you feel better, I got a nose job and I look like myself but better.
If à surgeon is good, he won't butcher you. You'll look similar to how you did before but better.
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How did you research your surgeon? What country did you do it in? Do you think most of the RealSelf reviews are real and how did you feel reading the 1 star reviews?
I'm a month late but I also have a sort of Slav-Middle-Eastern Frankenstein nose (potatoe tip from my dad and convexity/projection from my mom) so I'm happy to see someone who used to be in the same boat. I've been thinking for years about whether a nose job would be a good idea or not, but I'm far from having the finances for one so it's not a priority at the moment.
Are you happy overall with your nose job? How did people react ? Like you I look like a white girl with a weird nose so I wonder if people think you've white-washed yourself or something like that.
I'm rather pretty overall despite my nose so it doesn't bother me much but I'm afraid that with ageing I'll end up looking like an ugly witch, kek.
this aynon typed it with a smirk of course.
Plastic surgery rarely looks good on average people btw, so if you're average and above don't ever do plastic surgery.
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Plastic surgery is peak pickme behavior in many cases, in my humble opinion, as it pertains to things you would do to please other people at any cost
Then love all the people.
Take pride in walking among them.
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i dont want a bf or gf i just want to be left tf alone and allowed to work on my career / hobbies in peace w out getting treated like dog shit by everyone
i wish i had the courage to off myself>>129376>Jerk off 5 times a day
why are u so horny are u ok
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go read the suicide circle manga now
You sound like a scrote. Yes, ugly girls can get a quick pump and dumo behind the gas station but a loving, fulfilling relationship with a male who will not treat you like worthless shit and cheat and watch degrading porn? Impossible as an ugly girl. Get the fuck out of here with your "just lower your standarts sis :)". I will not be fucking doing that because the bar is already on the floor for males. I'm not going to date an abusive
asshole just so I can say I have a bf.
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Fellow uglies, have you created a fake/pretend bf to cope? I thought of making a man up in my mind and pretending I have a boyfriend so that I can feel cared for. I was going to write love letters to him, go on cute dates by myself while imagining he is there, and imagine him saying sweet things to me. I was trying to think of the traits my bf would have and I was stumped. All I want is for him to be caring, romantic, and respectful of me. I'm afraid to make him attractive because attractive men would rather hang themselves than talk to me and it just reminds me how ugly I am. Now I'm more depressed
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tbh this is literally why otome games exist
Good timing, anon
, you don't need a boyfriend to be happy. Build up your self-confidence. Self-confidence is very attractive in itself. Sounds cliche, but you need to love yourself before you can love someone else.
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Has any of you seen this Swedish movie from last year? https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5501104/
I liked it very much and the main characters are very far from normal beauty standards.
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How much has Hollywood fucked up people's standards of beauty when normal, average looking people look "very far" from normal standards of beauty?
Umm the movie is literally about trolls lol.
I haven't seen it yet, I want too.
Naahh, I disagree. I mean … Sex and relationships and attraction are important, but they're about 10% of "what it's all about," imo.
Making art and music and having good friends who make you happy. You can have good friends even if you're ugly, HELLO … doing something good for the world … Enjoying your family, etc.
Just cuz you can't find someone to have sex with you right now doesn't mean your life is being wasted. Not at all.
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The actors look of course very normal, but i was meaning their prosthetics makeup in that film.
Men think we come off a conveyer belt somewhere in the Lady Factory, but these posts made me think of something else.
If they like objectifying and considering us as only made for sex, a girl which doesn't fit their idea of beauty disproves the hypothesis. She's clearly a human and not a sex object made in a factory for their pleasure. She's a person. A "pretty" girl proves their hypothesis and a, in their mind not "pretty" girl disproves it.
She must be a human. Made for another purpose than cummies.
Then they get angry.
omg I literally feel the SAME exact way
I will buy new clothes or makeup in attempt to feel like myself again and then I'll think "why'd you even spend money on that when you should save it to fix your teeth"
but my teeth problem is gonna cost so much money and is so out of control that I just keep spending what little extra I have to try to make myself feel better temporarily… a whole mess
I hope things get better for you!
Nayrt but I had to read this three times because I thought I wrote it and forgot.
I just need braces so bad but in the meantime I keep fixating on other random things that I think will make me look nice. It's futile bah
I'm not any of those anons but I've gotten braces three times in my life and my teeth are fucked again. The last ones I got taken out like five years ago and I had them on for two years.
This time I'd rather splurge on invisible ones if I'm going to have to wear braces my entire life.
And no I don't have any weird condition, just normal crooked teeth.
I had something similar to you, anon. Small jaw, super crowded teeth, adult teeth coming in wrong because baby teeth wouldn't fall out, etc. Looked terrible and made me never want to smile.
Most orthos have payment plans. I didn't have insurance and wound up paying a couple hundred every month (US, about 6 years ago). If you can cut out other stuff and reasonably afford it, just do it. It's worth it.
Don't worry about the food getting stuck, there's special floss for braces. Wear your retainer after braces to keep your teeth from getting crooked again.
damn, anon, are you me? i'm always the ugly, undesirable friend and it just hurts so much to see people i'd be interested in flirt with my friends simply because my friends hand them a piece of paper in class. apparently i have a nice personality, i'm funny and great to hang out with, so it has to be that i'm ugly. i already lost a lot of weight and now i'm only a small fatty, no longer a beached whale, but i guess it's still a turn off. i'm trying to lose the rest as well, i take care of my appearance, i dress well and i sometimes get compliments for my clothes. i just never get compliments for my appearance. i wish at least once someone would smile at me or tell me i'm pretty. i know it's stupid and i shouldn't be so superficial, but if just one person made me feel that i wasn't ugly, my sense of self-worth would be so much better. i'm in my late 20s and i feel so sad that i'm going to die alone because nobody wants me. i think i'd be a great gf/wife honestly but it's so painful that nobody wants to give me the chance to prove it because my face is so ugly.
I'm actually Mexican, but there's a lot of similarity between Asian and Mexican mothers I think. Similar pattern of putting up with misogyny and "macho" behavior only to then turn around and lash out on the daughters.
I don't know if my mother wishes I were a son, but she definitely stopped being loving and protective when I stopped being a cute little toddler. It hurts and it makes me desperately want to get surgery and lose more and more weight so I can be frail and helpless enough for her to re-form protective/loving feelings for me or something.
Sorry to hear that you're also the designated ugly, undesirable friend like me. We're like the edible but unwanted piece of lumpy, imperfect fruit left behind in the fruit bin. All that 'looks aren't everything, personality goes a long way' is a total BS! Science already shows that attractive people have tremendous advantage over ugly people. Plus, Iif you're an ugly women, you're doomed.
I'm glad to hear that your making an effort to lose weight and dress properly. I wish I still have the energy to give a damn. I've already tried for years to do everything I can to make myself at least average looking but now that I'm 31 and still an ugly loveless loser, I'm slowly giving up on trying to make any effort to change my looks. I'm just so tired and bitter.
I sincerely hope that you will find a suitable partner for yourself though anon. You're still young and based from your post, you seem like a nice person.
It's not stupid or superficial to worry about appearance, it's something only pretty or at least decent looking people say I think. It plays a great role in our self-worth and is a problem if it stops you from leading a happy life.
It's great you make an effort to lose weight and dress nicely. I'm trying my best to mask what I can with clothes and makeup, but I just wish someone would like me, not my makeup, not my clothes, just my face and body the way they are.
I used to take pride in my hair, but recently it turned way darker and grey hair appeared (I'm 26). My first reaction was to start dyeing, which caused massive hair loss and I had to cut them short. Here comes my only nice feature…
I'm ashamed to wear anything more revealing because of scars from surgeries on my chest and around my neck. Also, my veins are super fragile, which makes my legs and arms always bruised.
About dating, I've resigned myself to a lonely life, because at this point if someone tried to get into a relationship with me, I would seriously question their judgment and doubt their motives.
Anon…. If you had braces 3 times and your teeth did not stay straight then you did not fix the main problem and getting braces again will have the same results.
I know from experience, I had an awful tongue crib (I think that's the name in english) put when I was really young to correct how I placed my tongue (spoiler : it didn't work in the long term). After a few years they replaced it with braces. Then I was finally free of everything but hah my teeth became crooked again. This september, so like after 8 years, I decided to go back and have straight teeth or die trying. I was actually told it wouldn't fix anything to have braces again because the problem was my tongue and my jaw. They said I'll have to do jaw surgery (lower jaw will be moved forward a little) then speech therapy and braces to have and keep straight teeth.
So for any anons who had braces and your teeth moved a lot again after, you probably have an underlying problem that braces alone can't fix.
Speaking of this surgery I'm not sure I'll do it. One of the reasons being what if I became uglier ? I know jaw surgery will change my face, like not completely of course but it will be noticeable. I would regret it for ever if it looks worse though. I hate that I have to make that choice.
Have any anons done that kind of surgery ??
i'm not super attractive, probably 7/10. being pretty is a double edged sword. some aspects of life are easier, others are shittier.
to this day my mom only comments on/compliments my looks despite me doing well in my schooling and career. after my most recent job interview (i did get the job) my coworker told me they overheard the supervisor saying i'm really pretty. but i overheard the supervisor after interviewing someone else and they were calling them smart and articulate, etc. it was a guy and he wasn't very good at the job tbh. also i get unwanted advances from men at work even when i say im not looking for anything but friendship. which then makes some other women at work dislike me.
i have an attractive bf but i've been hurt/betrayed by him multiple times in the past. i chose to forgive him cause i love him and he has the means to take care of me financially. i know that other men are much worse, he really does love and care for me. also other guys ive dated focused almost soley on my looks and wanted to have sex all the time and brag to their friends. in high school i was bullied by a group of boys and their jealous gfs/friends who were obsessed with me…so i developed social anxiey and i don't use social media. it takes me ages to trust people.
i will say that strangers approach me often for directions or other mundane questions. and i can make friends at work or school fairly easily. i get attention from men. but people are still shitty to attractive people. you aren't exempt from being treated badly, but you get treated badly in different ways. maybe super super attractive (9/10 or 10/10) people have a easy ride, but i wouldn't know.
Jesus, this is pure mood.
Man I really feel cursed. In terms of my looks, I am probably just a couple of steps above being completely deformed. My face is very asymmetrical and in pictures it's extremely noticeable and looks like on part of my face is melting off. To top it off, I've had horrible hormonal acne when I was a teen which has left with horrible acne scars and hyper pigmentation on my face, back shoulders and a little on my chest. The idea that I will still have these scars when I am 30 is my greatest nightmare and I am deeply ashamed to wear anything that shows off my shoulders or back because of how disgusting I look.
To make things worse, I haven't been taking care of myself very well. My teeth have yellowed and I am so insecure about people seeing my teeth. I also allowed myself to balloon to 80kg and I feel even worse about myself. I am so ashamed at how much I destroyed my own body, but going through the effort to reverse the damage also seems so not worth it.
I'm lucky that I don't really fall in love or develop crushes easily because holy shit, only the most desperate man would fuck me, never mind date. It sucks because I will never experience even a average looking man look at me lovingly or wanting me. My brother who is 6 years younger than me has already had a girlfriend (and probably had more girls who liked him too), it's pretty cringey and embarrassing how I've never been close to such a thing.
Every time I try to talk about my disdain for my appearance to people, I always get told I'm stupid, I'm over exaggerating or being negative, or they try to give my a make over that makes me feel uncomfortable.
>>130812>to this day my mom only comments on/compliments my looks despite me doing well in my schooling and career.
My mom never complimented me on anything.>i have an attractive bf but i've been hurt/betrayed by him multiple times in the past.
Ugly guys aren't any nicer. At least you're not a virgin loser like most of us here.>he has the means to take care of me financially…he really does love and care for me.
Sorry for sounding bitter but on the other hand, you went out of your way to reply to a 2 month old post just to write about how everybody likes you (but only because your sooo attractive) and >some other women at work dislike me.>wanted to have sex all the time and brag to their friends.>jealous gfs/friends who were obsessed with me
Yeah every guy wants to fuck you and all girls are jelly harpies…
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I have Gal Gadot's weirdass sloping forehead, caveman browbone, huge face and small rest of the head. A manly m-shaped hairline, my nose is thankfully not hooked but still very big from the side, deepset + hooded eyes, gigantic dark circles, small lips, huge cheeks, square jaw, jowels, double chin. Also large pores, wrinkles, moles and sickly skin colour. And of course a rbf.
The upper part of my face looks witchy but my lower part is fat, so I guess a mix of that.
Maybe I also resemble Lady Gaga a bit, but I'd like to believe that I'm still a tiny bit better looking than her (or at least I wish so…)
I still look pretty similar to how I looked at 12, but that's because I resemble a 40-year-old mom since forever. I'm also very tall and my body has a lot of imperfections too (e.g. lots of body hair, pimples and veins showing), so that adds just to my general unattractiveness. My teeth and hair are ok but that alone also doesn't matter or change anything.
I've been told I'm ugly all my life, so yes, it's definitely true.
You're all obsessed with men but the hardest imo is being despised by straight women, employers, staff, family…etc. It crushes your soul.
However I realized confidence is also soo important. One friend told me: when you feel ugly it shows and makes you unappealing.
She was right. At one point of my life I was happy, careless, thought I was the shit and guess what? Met a lot of new people, someone fell in love with me, had a boyfriend, hooked up with some fucking beautiful girls (I'm bi). I was not afraid to approach people or be approached and it paid off. Now that I'm depressed again I'm alone and ignored.
Of course being pretty is a lot easier, everyone kisses your ass. But if besides being average (I'm sure nobody itt is a <4/10), you're a killjoy and absorbed by your own insecurities don't be surprised if nobody wants to be near you.
Women always undervalue their looks and are generally very insecure. Look at this anon>>130857 saying she looks better than Lady Gaga but is ugly? Ok
So yeah anons itt are prob average except obeses and those with fucked up teeth
I know this scale is retarded and eurocentred but it gives a perspective
Average-ugly still isn't enough for women. The bare is so hight for us!
When you don't meet these expectations it hurts because you have to accept you will never be treated like a beautiful woman. To have a normal social life, you have to be very active and aggressive in your social interactions…so the contrary of what women were taught to do.
Look at films (modern propaganda): the nerdy guy gets the Stacy without improving anything about himself. Whereas the nerdy girl always has a makeover before getting the Chad. Or all these couples where the female>>>>>male. How can an Homer get a Marge?
Society tells to ugly-average men that they can still be seen as attractive if they're rich/funny/nice enough but an ugly-average woman would still be unattractive no matter how funny/rich/nice she is.
How conceited and self-absorbed do you have to be to come into a thread about self-image struggles and say THIS?
Do you also wave money in homeless peoples' faces?
I haven't been on here in a while, but am anon you replied to. Most women are having children late in life, and having children is not a measure of sucess. Maybe in some scientific terms it is, but I value community more. The reason we have children is to ensure survival of the tribe. There are many ways to fufil this evolutionary need that does not require biological children. Working "spinster" women provide labor: teacher, mediator/spiritual conselor, farmer, CEO, you name it. Adoption is also an option. Our culture places too high of a value on a picket fence family. It's not bad to want, but it's just one of many options. You're allowed to find out it's not for you.
I get the not being paid attention to thing. Humans are biased to be kinder to those they find better looking, but even Albert Einstein who is no model was highly respected as a person and listened to (as well as had his naysayers). No matter who you are, what ideas you have, there will be admirers and oposition. There is this fantasy that being attractive means life is easy, well that is something sold to you by celebs and the beauty industry. Only a fraction of the top 1% can ride this, and they're the ones selling you those products to improve your appearance in order to be "swept off you feet." Everyone has to work to establish their place in life. You'll see very attractive women who are also alone and may feel like you, women who are high on the social ladder. There's a level of assertion you need to have, and it takes time to develop.
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my body image is going shit again and the suicidal thoughts are creeping back in, I'm unmotivated to do anything because I'm so ugly I won't get anything in life. I just wanna die.
I seriously thought I wrote this, you just said what I go through every day for all of my life. I avoid going out and speaking with people, making and eye contact makes me hyper-aware of myself so I avoid it at all costs. norhing is enjoyable because wherever you go you only see attractive people and online especially people get successful because they're attractive and whatever you will do or say will be better if it was from someone attractive.
Living is a constant reminder that you're ugly and will never be happy.
This is similar to my experience.
I've always liked myself, and even though I was never destined to be a model I made sure I had hobbies and was educated. That I could be funny and have things to talk about. I mean we're all gonna be old and unappealing one day anyway right?
Yet no matter, people will always treat me a certain way because I'm unattractive and there's little I can do to change their treatment towards me despite my efforts. It's so hard for me to accept. I wind up hating myself because I'm hated by the herd and that hurts.
I'm actually looking forward to being a cute little old lady if I can make it. At least then the expectations about looks won't be as ruthless…hopefully. I'm fucked if society expects us to get plastic surgery and fillers in our 60s and onwards.
Ahh true, I guess I also look forward to that.
But I can't help thinking about all the things I won't be able to experience, the relationships I won't develop, the many ways I won't express myself. You fill your life with pretty things, but your beauty will always be lacking, especially in the eyes of others. Even the small compliments and kind smiles beautiful people receive can make life so much brighter.
Those who say looks don't matter truly have no idea what kind of humiliations one can go through because of them. But again, it's useless to think about it too much.
A long, miserable life and a long, beautiful and fulfilling life are not the same.
Also, I want to die young, it would make me feel more… not pretty, but worthy tbf.
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This probably sounds insensitive but DAE feel there's something awful about resting in this place of middling ugliness - not overtly deformed, perhaps not even HIDEOUS, but certainly not attractive. Just vaguely ugly or off looking. I feel like if you have an overt deformity any decent person will try to look past it and even be overly nice to you, you'll get a lot of "yass queen"s and "YOU'RE GORGEOUS" in response to anything you do and you're encouraged to go out and live despite your deformity. Maybe get a modeling gig like pic related or do a TED talk like Lizzie Velásquez. It's like the weird kid in school vs the kid with special needs. Most people won't outright make fun of a kid with a disability because you just come off as a dick, but they'll totally make fun of the kid who's a little bit unusual because it's fair game. I'm not saying living life with a deformity is enviable, I'm sure it's very tough and I wouldn't want it for myself, but I feel by being just kind of unpleasant looking there's something of a different judgment cast on you. Almost like an "ew why are you trying to be normal" sort of vibe, because you're so close yet fall so short. Idk if I'm wording this right but hopefully someone gets what I mean.
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Maybe it's just me but I prefer pic related over most models
>>137348> Yet there are some negative personal traits she has developed due to her physical ugliness
What do you mean by that?
I'm pretty sure she realized but since there's nothing she can do about it (unless surgery) she moved on
She has a tendency of unfairly criticizing and undermining her siblings whom from a social stand point, have treated her far better. The irony is, she even tries to pick apart their looks, as tho to compensate for her 'problem'. She likes to exaggerate physical flaws of attractive people where there is few to none. Anyway, her 'problem' is, she can identify that she's unattractive although not remotely to the fullest extent, and she had to grow up around her traditionally attractive siblings. To describe her in the most negative way, she can be bitter, vengeful and delusional. She's like this mainly due to her ugliness but not exclusively. For example, if she possessed more humility and self-perception, I do not think she would be outwardly mistreating others like this.
Your sister probably knew people were making fun of her if they made fun of her to you. You don't think other people have said shit to your sister?
You sound insane that your sister can't criticise you and your other siblings because she's the ugly one lol? Like you're on here calling your sister ugly and explaining it's annoying she doesn't think she's as ugly as you think she is. Mental>>137480
This. She's probably fed up with her conceited sister.
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Was never seen as attractive to the other sex but women call me cute. It's nice but I'd like to hear some men say it to me. I have shit skin especially around my legs and back. I have those dark spots left by scars and they won't go away no matter how hard I try and it's an ugly contrast to my pale ass legs. Ever since I was a child I'd pick my scabs and not to mention I have arm hair and it's hairier than my dad or my guy friends. It's not thick but its long and sometimes I can see the shadow of the strands. It's making me insecure because my mom is practically hairless just like my dad. Guess I got the hairy arm gene?
I want to shave it off but my mom says that it will grow back thicker. Aside from that I have shit jaw line. My last resort is losing weight. The only thing I like is my nose. It's sharp with a bump.
Shaving doesn't make hair grow back thicker, that's a myth. The angle of the cut at the end of the hair just makes it look different.
I use hair removal cream on my arm because I don't wanna keep up with shaving it. I've also waxed before. If it's that bad for your self esteem just get rid of it, it's no big deal.
I am the hairiest girl you'll ever meet in your life, but I just do full body waxing. Forget nipple hair. I even have forehead hair! The lady who does my eyebrows also takes care of my forehead hair and mustache for me. I've been waxing since I was a teenager, so I'm pretty used to the pain. It won't hurt as much as you think it will but it will still hurt, so prepare for that. I've never bothered to take pain killers or anything beforehand- seems a bit crazy to me to do that every 2-4 weeks or however often it is that you go in for waxing.
Dark spots, scars, cellulite. Everyone has them. That's not going to automatically make you feel any better about yours, I know, but I want you to know that even the most beautiful girls have something like that they will never be rid of on their body. It's society that makes us feel like freaks for this stuff that's out of our control. You don't have to be one of those hippies who loves all of the imperfections of their body- just don't HATE your body over it. It's normal. You're normal.
Lose weight if you want to do it, not to impress others. I think if there's something you hate about yourself and it's in your control to change it and you want to change it, do it. If there's something others are trying to make you hate about yourself and you're considering changing, ask yourself who you're changing for. I've got a big nose. I like it. It's my father's nose and the nose of everyone on his side of the family. It's a nose with history. I'm not getting plastic surgery just because it's not a conventionally attractive nose. Flipside, I've always been skinny so if I gained weight, I'd probably be uncomfortable with that and want to go back to the body I'm used to ASAP. I'd lose weight and that's for me. You see the difference?
find people you respect that have similar features to you and idealize them instead.
i think this really helps if the issue is body type. like, find a fitness person with a similar body type to you who has improved themselves in a way that you want to look like.
>>138877>What's the worst that could happen?
NTA but getting used for sex by a guy who thinks you're ugly but an easy lay, which ends up eroding your self esteem and dignity while he benefits off it with zero effort…?
How naive could you be to think the worst case scenario is being rejected by a man? That's a kindness. They're waaaaay too willing to fuck girls they don't find attractive and their lack of feelings for you will be obvious.
femcel or radfem
place your bets guise
Read MariKondo, clean your room, buy things you need and can improve your life, self care, then buy extra things that you want but not important: clothes you like,makeup,decor your room etc. Hit the gym or work out a little bit, organize your life, reflexion…
Building up your confidence will make any nasty comments about you hurt significantly less if not not at all. If you don't like your hair experiment with haircare and conditioners, if your don't like your eyes or face try color correcting, concealing, remember less is more. Learn color theory btw you have warm skin cold pink won't suit you best even if that's your favorite color. You don't need plastic surgery nor to straighten your hair or heavy makeup.
Youre happy you look happy bam, best impression. Also don't care abt sex or relationship
Enjoy life I know ppl are pure shit but that's sad and infuritaing to let them put you down while you're just living in your own peace
Oh, a Pick Me. >femcel
As if this isn't a thread about women whining because Chads won't give them attention
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NTA, but this was a remarkably low effort post and I pity you
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NTA but nah, Gaten Matarazzo has cleidocranial dysostosis.
PR is Melanie Gaydos, model with ectodermal dysplasia.
men aren't worthless, you're just being conditioned by echo chambers like this full of miserable women who love company poisoning the well for other women who aren't ruined by years of making shit dating decisions and still have a chance at a happy life. you should take what you consume via imageboard culture with an extreme grain of salt.
meant for >>114375
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you said you were going to leave smh >>>/g/139908
I was doing fine the past couple of days, actually pretty happy, but being made aware of how I look has shot my confidence and happiness back to zero. My own boyfriend said I look 'inbred' and his friend didn't insult me, but he did say 'I just don't like her face' behind my back to him. But then 2 other people I showed my face to said I was a '10/10' ? It's so confusing. I know the simple answer is 'beauty is subjective' and that I shouldn't care but I do. I wish I was perfect, and that beauty was a 'one size fits all' so I could just change myself into a girl that everyone would find pretty. I'm pathetic. Even while typing this I feel like crying and throwing up, hah.
It doesn't matter how many compliments I get, I know there are people out there who won't like my face, so that makes me never want to show it. I know it's stupid, but it's so deeply ingrained in me that I'm sure I need actual therapy. I just hate how differently people treat me based of off how I look. I remember when I was younger, as a joke with my friends I came into school with a blonde wig one day and every single boy treated me 10x nicer than usual. Just because I had blonde hair. Fucking wow. I hate how much of a difference hair makes. I just can't take compliments anymore because I think they're lies. I hate this lookism world and I wish I could walk around wearing a mask 24/7, but I know I'm giving into lookism by being insecure of my looks. When I get like this, I feel like I can't go on the internet at all for a couple of days because if I see a pretty girl, it'll just shoot me right back into being sad. I don't know what to do or how to stop caring. I want to rip my face off and hide in a hole where no one can see me.
First of all anon>My own boyfriend said I look 'inbred'
what the fuck. Therapy will definitely help and you should look into it but please start with leaving that piece of shit person.
also in the "ok looking but would be pretty with a smaller nose" camp.
what makes me feel a lot worse is the fact that I've noticed a lot of women making a point of showing off hooked noses and noses with bumped bridges to show that ~all noses are beautiful~, but these women always look normal/pretty from face on. my nose has a wide nose bridge (I'm very white so it looks really off) so I look fine in profile but from face on I look horrendous. and I don't see anyone trying to make a point of wide noses being acceptable.
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Idk, I think wider noses can be cute
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I'm honestly super ugly but the fact that I dress well and put makeup on kinda saves me
I get complimented on my outfits and hair, but at the end of the day, I'm still an uggo who looks like a young version of Yzma from Kuzco kek.
My biggest cope is that most people will look like wrinkly meat bags by the age of 65, so who cares in a way. Can't wait to be a grandma and look like a big meanie with white hair and a fake fur coat
Sorry anon but I seriously have no idea what you're trying to say. Like, wtf does>it's still considered a meme to be into me
You say you get called attractive and you get male attention, what else do you need? To be reassured that it's normal to not be completely perfect in every way and be exclusively pursued by equally perfect men?
>>140644>It was a meme between a group of guys at my school because they all to a degree found me sexy but it was like a guilty, r/trashyboners thing where it's like oh, you must be into some weird shit if you like her.
Literally my exact experience.
A bit personal, but I’m mixed race half white/half black
, and although there were guys who told me they liked me/found me attractive, it never went farther than that. Like I didn’t fit into the right box for them, therefore I wasn’t worthy of their respect, nor was it socially acceptable for me to be seen in public with them, etc..
I realize this might not be the thread to post about this and if so sorry, I just don't know where else it would fit and I kind of just want one person who relates. I'm definitely not ugly, just average. I make myself look nicer by being interested in fashion, maintaining a good weight, and wearing natural looking makeup. Despite all this, I can't help but feel like people just see me for the things I do to advance myself rather than me as a whole. Someone earlier said they get commented on their outfits, etc. That happens to me, and although I will be told I'm pretty on instagram if I post something, the comments are never from boys. I hate that I'm seeking male attention for approval. I think it's because there's a constant belief that men will fuck anything that walks, so sometimes I wonder why I'm not experiencing that type of behavior. I think it has to do with my insecurity showing on my face. I'm socially anxious and although I manage conversation and have a personality, I have a hard time showing it. I think it's a case of being very average and not having the personality to compensate for it. Kind of like joji lmao. He's average but he makes up for it. I don't make up for it.
a wide bridge? i also think thats a cute feature. personally i think any noses are cute as long as they're fairly flat. but i know that likely means little to someone unhappy with their features.
noses truly haven't had their "beauty moment" yet and at this point i don't think they will. even the small amounts of appreciation for hooked noses doesn't begin to match the comments men have about them. and i barely see any support for wide noses outside of black twitter. it's really odd. unfortunately i think the current beauty standards regarding noses will persist.
also when you have a really bad hooked nose you can tell from the front and it casts a really strange and noticeable shadow.. i would say my profile actually looks better than my front in certain lights lol
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I can't tell if I'm ugly or not. A lot of my family members constantly tell me that I'm ugly. But then people at school and on social media always compliment me for my looks. So, I can't tell if people in school and sm are being fake or my family members are saying the truth. ( the family members that always call me ugly are my own grandma, and my aunts )
Sis do you>shower every day>wash your hair at least once in two days>wash your face and brush your teeth every morning and night.
If you do all of this you're family is being petty because there's no reason to mock someone unless you're trying to help with hygiene. (meaning it's their problem, not yours)
If you don't do most of these…your aunt and grandma might just be uncomfortable with lack of hygiene.
I'm just saying but personally, lack of hygiene is the ugly thing that makes me avoid people, not having whatever features. bit of acne, longer nose, receeding hairline don't matter…
>>141334>wash your hair at least once in two days
Washing your hair that often isn't good for it. Who becomes unpresentably greasy in two days anyway?>>141335
This tbh. People seem to find it hard to accept that they're average, they want to be top tier gorgeous and when they fall short, they want to wallow in self pity about how unfortunate they are.
Nta but I have straight and fine hair and they're a greasy mess my end of day 2. I can't then use dry shampoo to buy myself a day or look umkempt and greasy and day 3. My hair clumps together and it's very visible a the root.
I've been washing way less during quarantine (1/4days) but the pattern is still here and I ended up being a greasy goblin 2 days out of the week.
You're right. I think people on here tend to overestimate how much the average person nitpicks other peoples looks. Especially on a site that's at least partially dedicated to judging/nitpicking others it's easy to forget that real life doesn't really work like that.
I do think that if you browse here a lot those tendencies can kind of slip into real life as well though. I've caught myself thinking stuff like 'oh that nose is really unfortunate' before when looking at strangers on the bus who actually looked perfectly fine. To me it's a sign that I should probably spend less time scrolling through /pt/ and /snow/ threads for a while.
That being said, you'd be surprised at how judgmental people can be. I've heard my grandma of all people comment on random stranger's looks before even if they were totally normal looking. It happens, and it can be difficult to accept that other people might have these thoughts about us, even if we're most of the time our own worst critic.
I know, I shower daily since I'm naturally greasy.
I once experimented with washing less to "~retain natural oils since washing is so unhealthy uwu and you'll be less oily in the long run!~" but it just gave me bad dandruff and scalp acne.
Some people are just greaseballs. Maybe it works for dry people or people with certain hair textures, but for other grease-chans…please go into showering less with caution.
I think i'm becoming a grease-chan. I used to have normal hair and shower every other day, but now I'm greasy af after 24 hours.
Why would this happen to someone?
Nta but in addition to hormonal changes and/or new products, it could also be your diet and lifestyle. I used to have a shitty restrictive diet and box dye my hair so I only had to wash it once or twice a week, now I can hardly skip a wash because it's so long and healthy (not dying + incorporating avocado, fish, some dairy into my diet)
You could also look into different conditions that affect your scalp/hair follicles, my bf has uhh sebhorric (?) dermatitis or some shit and he gets super greasy literally overnight. It's crazy
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I just realized how small my eyes are and how wide my face is I look like Doris from Shrek without makeup
No wonder I hide my cheeks with my hair bangs
I've been feeling progressively worse and honestly, I don't have anything going on for me except for ass maybe but it has dimples and it isn't the best shape ever… I hate my face so fucking much, I have flap small lips and hyperpigmentation everywhere including huge big dark circles, my nose is big and wide, my eyes are small and round and my overall face is hideous, my breasts are saggy and have always been like that since I was 13, my personality is rotten, I'm broke and unpleasant to be around, I don't niche interests like books or anything and I'm not good with words my speech and language skills are subpar I don't know what I've been doing all this time that I spent alive, 'it gets better' is just a statement that gives you false hope leaving you more devisated. I don't even have the guts to kill myself and I have to live through the suffering until fate gives me the mercy of death, but until then I'll live every day hating myself and knowing that it will bever get better.
Hey anon, I have lordosis and a couple of crooked fingers on one hands too!
Other than that I’m quite attractive.. I’ve learned to hide my crooked fingers in photos and since last year I’m getting physical therapy. It helps with the occasional back pain.
thought this video would be a good eye opener that basically explains what you are going through
My experience throughout my life has been the same as yours so I can relate highly
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Maybe it's just a cope but I genuinely don't mind being ugly. I'm gay so it's actually kinda nice being invisible to men. My hair is already graying and I'm kind of excited to rock a swamp hag aesthetic.
The only thing I'd change is my body hair. I have hirsutism and it's a bitch to deal with, and lately I've been really paranoid about being mistaken for trans because of it.
My sister is way hotter than me. I'm not bitter or resentful because a) I love her and want good things for her, even if I don't have those things myself, and b) there are an infinite number of better looking girls out there - it doesn't really matter if some of them are people I know. And tbh I'm not 100% sure of this, it's just my assumption - I kind of differentiate my appearance hoping that guys who are into my ~type~ are less into hers. Eg she is tanned and blonde and outgoing, I'm pale and brunette and nerdy. Chances are we attract different types of guys, and even if I attract fewer of them ideally they would specifically prefer my style.
I can't say the concern that a bf might find them more attractive isn't a real one, it's something I consider as well. But any bf will come across better looking women than you in his lifetime and I guess it's an easy way to filter out the shitty ones early on.
Am I the only one who feels hotter around my hot friends? I feel like they lift me up (easy enter at clubs, free drugs or drinks by scrotes who want to fuck them…etc) and people always assume I'm particularly out-going/funny for girls like that to be friend with me. It's an ego boost.
And I'm not concerned about boys at all, because the few interested in me have NO fucking chance with my friends.
This reminds me of these two women I constantly see tearing up my small town together; they're older (40's), disheveled, and one has hirsutism.
It recently hit me that they might be gay (since it seems they shop and live together), which made them all the more charming.
This could be you guys…I'm rooting for it.
Why would you listen to what a bunch of deformed misogynists think? If you're ugly it's okay to feel bad about it but don't take their
word for anything.
I'm naturally small on bottom (don't have big hips) tbh I liked my body shape before this trend and I don't feel any different during it.
Maybe sexuality plays a role though, I'm attracted to women and I've always found bottom heavy figures unattractive (just personal taste, not bashing) Maybe if I were straight I would view it through a different lens and be more vulnerable to trends?
I had this online friend I feel envious of, she has the perfect small cute doll face and nice hair which perfectly matches her pastel kawaii dolly aesthetic, she also has achieved a lot in life and has a fun personality, overall she attracts a lot of people both girls and guys
I'm a college dropout with no money at all, still stuck with my parents at 24, no driver license, got some really bad mental issues and am just mentally slow like I struggle with opening doors and windows already
But the worst thing is that I'm also ugly.. I have a huge square head, huge wide potato nose, I have a weird tiny droopy bunny mouth because of shit teeth (deformed, crowded, all out of place, missing small bits, weak and discolored) and a huge "diagonal" overbite which makes people ask me if I've had a stroke. I'd like to hide my huge acne forehead with bangs but my hair is also super thin and oily so I just end up with stringy sparse wet looking hair barely covering my forehead. If I at least looked like this girl I could dress up cute and still attract people somehow but I've got so many issues I will never be like that, I will never be attractive in any way.. Can't even dress slutty and get thirsty attention instead because I also have a flat chest and flat ass and no hips which guys have all made fun of before yay me
Keep up basic things like hygiene and maintaining a moderate weight, maybe do some hair or skin care, and you're good. Perhaps I just have a warped sense of reality from all the time I've spent online, but after all these years of seeing people praise homely girls or being generally desperate for any human affection at all, I don't think others really give a shit what you look like.
But who knows, maybe I am just coping with being hairy.
Do anons really think getting strangers' attention means you aren't ugly?
This isnt a humblebrag, I genuinely live on a rollercoaster of "Im ok how i look" to "Im an abomination who should kms." Pretty much any time I notice my looks in a pic or whatever, it's the latter. I can't get a good read on what I look like. I just know I have a big nose, weird smaller mouth, yellowish teeth, and my hips/thighs are too wide with small boobs. The nose, but also the pear shape bothers me the most. I feel embarrassed especially to sit, so wide like a frumpy mom. Im trying to improve what I wear, but it always comes back to me. Not underweight but i guess skinny fat, and it gathers there
I'm asking because in this thread, some say "Men dont pay me attention so I must be ugly." There could be other reasons? And, isnt it possible to be average/ugly even if they do? Ive had guys approach before and such, but I thought scrotes were just desperate? Maybe they see a homely girl and feel secure enough to do so, actually.
I guess I am hoping it may be true that I'm not ugly, but I highly doubt it. The features I described tear me apart every time I get ready for the day
It's hard to tell without pics but pear shape is the second best after the perfect hourglass imo, wide hips will always be considered attractive by anyone who's into women, I much prefer it to the wide shoulders and big boobs + no ass body type, also ages much better.
I relate to how you feel though, I was bullied for my looks when I was young (tall and lanky, pale as a ghost with acne and dark hair) and I still feel like that dorky kid even though I look ok now I guess? I have some really good pictures of myself but they are the ones that people look at and say "wow I wouldn't recognize you there!" so it's hard to know what I look like when photos make me look like a different person.
Back to your post, I don't think men would approach you if you were ugly (unless they're also ugly). You can definitely be average and get approached, but average doesn't equal bad/unattractive. I think most ugly people would give a limb to be average.
Oh man, im ayrt and it bothers me you were bullied for that. Other than the acne (which is normal) I see those qualities as beautiful, it's a shame you still have to feel the effects. I am sorry that just sounds so harsh.
Thank you for your input, I appreciate it. And I know people say pear shape is good but for me it makes my head look small and is hard to dress. (aside from feeling freakish) Im slowly assembling better outfits but its such a chore to redo your closet. Feels like pants in general aren't flattering to hips(if the top's too tight they look big, if it's loose head small) but Im trying to find ways
The actual problem is that you date men who compare you to other women. And of course those same men would be the types attracted to Venti, her exes have been as pathetic too.
Don't think there's an objective standard at play here at all. It's scrotes trying to connect vague dots to tie you to the appearance of a chick they got a boner for once, regardless if she's actually attractive by conventional standards. You probably don't look anything like her, you just come off to them as lacking the self-esteem to shut their fantasy shit down.
I think Brittany is really pretty, she's just a thirsty dumbass.
I bet a lot fewer people would screech about her being ugly and call her Sid the Sloth if she wasn't a retard and they didn't hate her.
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by the way you described it i thought she looked like this. Brittany looks like a normal girl with wide set eyes.
Brit's cute though. Also nothing wrong with being 6/10 since it's above average.
Maybe you've been memed into thinking men ""require"" us to be perfect, in which case just stop caring about coomers. It's truly not worth trying to please them at the expense of your own wellness. They will never be satisfied.
As long as you're not far below average or fat, it shouldn't destroy your life or anything. Randoms won't mistreat you just for your appearance.
Goes for anyone itt. If you're not actively suffering abuse because of your looks, wake up and try even harder to stop obsessing. You're just making yourself miserable over nothing.
t. trying to stop doing it myself because I'm wasting precious time by being a dumbass
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Seriously anon, you need to chill. Brittany is quite beautiful imo. Madison Beer looks like every other swollen, generic Insta-thot in existence and Megan Fox used to be pretty but her looks aren't particularly interesting, just mainstream attractive. Plus recently she took the bog pill and aged herself like 30 years lol. Brittany has features that are actually unique and nice to look at.
Who knows what it is about her these guys are relating to you, either. I find people tend to latch onto prominent features to the point of indifference to everything else. I have a friend with curly red hair who people have compared with Natasha Lyonne multiple times, but literally the only thing they have in common is the hair and a petite nose. Imo she has much prettier features than Natasha (less boxy face, more balance between her features and bigger, catlike eyes) but people just see the most blatant stuff and make sweeping generalizations.
Accutane cured mine too and it was the best decision I ever made. But the possible side effects are severe, it can fuck your shit up if you're unlucky and since anon had hair loss clearly that's the case.
That said I would never tell someone not to try it, the chance to fix your acne forever is worth it imo. The side effects exist because it's hardcore and it works, I would just recommend closely monitoring their health with a derm.
I knew someone who had a bad reaction to Accutane. Still had the acne and the treatment fucked up his bowels for good. He was always in some kind of pain.
The side effects are rare but they are brutal when they happen and most of them are for life.
It's gambling that the reduction of zits won't come with something as fun as hearing loss, anaphylaxis, cataracts or some seizures.
It could be worse it for painful disfiguring acne but I honestly don't get why they seem to give it for your run-of-the-mill teenage acne nowadays. It looks fucking dangerous to just cross your finger and hope for the best for what is a minor comestic thing.
Cut out grains, dairy and sugar. Reduce carbs(including fruit and veg), up fat intake(fat from meat, fatty fish, clarified butter) not plant oils (seed oils used to be industrial lubrication until they realised its a cheap replacement for tallow for us dumb consumers to buy. A ketogenic diet helps stabilise hormones. Accutane is a high dose of vitamin a, so eat liver instead.
Might get a lot of hate for this from anons here, but honestly it does no damage to try it for a month. And if you are truly desperate, isn't it worth a try?
Easier said than done but the only solution in my opinion is to accept that you're simply not CONVENTIONALLY attractive. Which doesn't mean that you're not attractive at all, because it's not only about bare looks. You can also draw attention to the features or parts of body that you like.
Also think about people in your life or celebrities that aren't conventionally attractive either but you and other people still like them, find interesting etc. Because as I said before it's not only about face.
There's a high chance that other people don't even perceive you the way you see yourself. They either don't notice or care about your 'defects' or you're just average and are comparing yourself to people who really won the genetic lottery.
Again with the personality bullshit.
Anyways you have a chance at being considered attractive if you meet someone who likes certain features that you have. Maybe as a fetish, maybe not.
kinda long, sorry.
at this point i can't tell whether i'm ugly or just ''weirdly attractive''
i usually only wear a little makeup when i go out like mascara and maybe some tinted lip balm, that's it.
i have a lot of girl friends and there's the girls in my class that i hear talking about how they got asked out at the gas station or some shit, but that's literally never happened to me.. like my friends have been asked for their snaps, ig's, numbers right in front of me but no one ever bats an eye at me.
the only thing i can tell is different from me and my friends is that i wear less trendy clothing, i just stick to dark skinny jeans and baggy clothes. i have a normal bmi of 20 and i don't have acne, i wear deodorant, perfume, i don't smell bad, i'm really quiet during classes and keep to myself, and i treat people how they treat me.
the only time guys have ever showed some interest in me is online. they'll see my face and not care much for it and we'll just.. talk. be normal. do americans just have lower standards?
i dunno. it feels hopeless at this point, will i have to repent to lesbianism?
>>155283>if you want to find a date then put effort into dating, ask out a guy, be bold, make it clear what you want.
God thank you for saying this. I really loathe how it seems 99% of dating advice for women even from self-purported feminists is that "if a guy rly likes u, he will ask you out so just make urself available lol!"
I worked as an agency-represented model so I know I at least have a modicum of mainstream attractiveness, people (friends and strangers) told me I was pretty, etc. No one EVER asked me out my entire life up through college. I did have creepers hit on me like every woman in the world, but every half decent man kept their distance. I smiled a lot, expressed myself, made conversation and had/have male friends. Nothing.
Finally I joined a dating app, found the cutest boy I'd ever seen who wasn't a gross perv and asked him out. We've been together 4 years and are now engaged. I do believe the guy should reciprocate and step up after you make the first move, because otherwise yes, it shows he isn't interested and/or not really committed to a relationship. But so many men these days are either shy or terrified of asking women out because they worry about coming off as a freak. I also hate the waiting game and refused to continue playing a passive role when it came to something as important as a life partner.
What kind of stupid shit anon?
Growing up I was bitter about pretty people getting this treatment but now I find it funny how far people will twist themselves into putting pretty people in a good light.
>>155423>Growing up I was bitter about pretty people getting this treatment but Wow I find it funny how far people will twist themselves into putting pretty people in a good light.
I know what you're talking about and I was fed up with it as well I kinda snapped and did my thing which ended up resulting in me finding my style and becoming more invested in my overall appearance and boosting my appearance from below 6.5 all the way to 7.5, I'm not a Stacy but losing weight+getting my skin problems resolved and knowing how to do my hair and dress in a way that makes me both interesting and cute gives the illusion that I'm pretty.
>What kind of stupid shit anon?
When I looked more basic and sad I used to get judged and challenged for pretty much anything I said or believed in, I had an interesting personality but I looked basic as hell and quite frankly sad so people either dismissed me or thought I'm a tryhard/faking it but now that people find me more attractive they're more accepting and open to learning more about the nonsense I say , people don't seem to question me at all or give me weird looks, and if someone did people jump to defend me(???) it's a weird feeling. like my personality and jokes are now more offensive and weird than ever but I haven't been told once that I'm cold or stupid or that I don't get it, on the contrary people join and it's great fun for everyone, people tell me that they love me and appericiate having me on regular basis I'm so mad I didn't get to be surronded by this much positiviy when I needed it the most.
Not to toot my own horn but I now get compliments all the time which I used to never get and if I got them back then it was about something unrelated to my looks, so this is a proof that people find me more attracrive now.
That's another reason why I hate the whole "You just need to be confident BUT YOU DON'T CHANGE YOURSELF FOR OTHERS PEOPLE NEED TO ACCEPT YOU AS YOU ARE" shtick, because if you didn't look interesting enough or looked attractive enough they wouldn't even care to get to know you or learn anything about you as an indivisual, don't believe in that shit, don't go for darastic measures like plastic sugery unless you really need it otherwise there are countless ways to represent yourself to look better and generally more loveable, friend-able, and hireable.
People are shallow and basic and we need to acknowladge that, best thing you can do is to try to use that to your advantage.
>>155449>When I looked more basic and sad I used to get judged and challenged for pretty much anything I said or believed in, I had an interesting personality but I looked basic as hell and quite frankly sad so people either dismissed me or thought I'm a tryhard/faking it but now that people find me more attractive they're more accepting and open to learning more about the nonsense I say , people don't seem to question me at all or give me weird looks, and if someone did people jump to defend me(???) it's a weird feeling.
And you don't find that absolutely patronizing? It's okay to admit that it makes your life more convenient, but I wouldn't say that people being more agreeable because you're easier on their eyes now is exactly the same as having genuine respect and understanding. It doesn't make you angry that fake people just go along with what you say regardless if they actually agree with you if it means they get your good graces or look good to others? That's what you want, a bunch of kiss asses who are liable to abandon you the next minute you get old, ugly, or fat?
You're only going to be able to take advantage of this up to a certain point anyway, and after that you'll be angry that you played into a system whose endgame is that you become as disposable as the ladies who aged out before you.
being an ugly woman is truly being old and invisible from the start. I'm thin and my skin is great but I'm 100% ugly. I've got the unfortunate facial structure. It doesn't matter how I dress up or how much effort I put into my appearance.
What angers me mostly is that it affects me in all areas of life. I can forego relationship with men as they've showed their true face many times even the so called nice guys, but I will be the invisible overworker ant and it won't matter what I do or try to do, all people see is an ugly woman in me. And I can't even say my achievements are enough to justify my ugliness.
So when I read experiences such as yours it depresses me deeply. I know that I could kill myself and no one would care. In fact, if anyone saw my obituary with my photo they would probaly think it's a good thing because it's one less ugly soul in the world.
I can only dream of being 4/10.>>155462
good for you anon!
Really sorry you're feeling like this. Of course I'm inclined to disagree on anon having an "ugly soul"…but I was reminded of this part in Parasite where one of the poor people says, rich people have the luxury of being kind, or something like that. Maybe that goes for beautiful people too, since they have to deal with less shitty, dismissive behavior. Unlike when you're ugly…
I remember feeling like a ugly duckling as a kid. It didn't help that my dad basically ignored me and only fawned over my older sister, praising her for being pretty and resembling my mother. That really hurt me a lot.
>>155508 >don't care if anyone else thinks I'm ugly. My brain seems to prioritize my looks way down at the bottom so I am either autistic
Is that an autistic thing? Being on here has made me realise how little I worry about my looks or how other people judge my look. I remember caring more when I was around 19/20 but that was a short phase.
I know I definitely don't like to see myself in photographs but I don't sweat how I look day to day leaving the house. I have super short hair just because I can't be bothered drying it and all my trousers are long because I think leg shaving is BS. So I read discussions on here about obsessively removing all body hair or being upset when the hairdresser takes off more length than you wanted and I can't relate to any of it, honestly do question if I'm autistic.
I don't look amazing but it doesn't impact my happiness. Like you said it's just not a high priority in my head either.
Not her, but I wonder. My mother once cried because she said I must be autistic because I didn't care about my looks as much as she does (and she doesn't even wear makeup, just stylish clothes).
I think my face looks decent and my skin is nice, I just can't be assed to style my hair and go to the hairdresser often, so I just grow it out and either wear it down or in a pony tail. I use zero makeup and most of my clothes is just sort of "librarian" comfy. I don't mind being photographed at all, and I really can't understand women that go over every picture someone else takes of them and make them delete the less favorable ones, but I also don't share any pictures of myself on social media. I do have strong body hair though, even on my arms, which I was hiding with long sleeves as a kid, but nowadays I just can't be assed, even though I do think it has a negative impact on people judging me.
I think it'd be nice to have good looks, but I also really don't care enough to put effort into it. I really don't know if it's just autism or some kind of subconscious self-hate.
Adapting to each and every societal rule indiscriminately is not only crazy, it's impossible. Everyone chooses which rules to adapt to and to what level.>>155655
If you're clean and neat, you're good. Anything above that is extra, and it's fine if you enjoy it. It becomes pathological when worrying about it is negatively affecting the rest of your life.
>>155488>I was reminded of this part in Parasite where one of the poor people says, rich people have the luxury of being kind, or something like that. Maybe that goes for beautiful people too, since they have to deal with less shitty, dismissive behavior.
Nta but definitely. If people have treated you in a nice way your entire life of course you'll feel less bitter, less defensive, less suspicious and so on, simply a warmer, more welcoming and trusting personality that in return invites even more people to approach you nicely. If you're ugly people will already let you feel that difference from earliest childhood onwards, so of course you will develop a much more negative outlook on humans and society. It's so unfair, like an endless circle. I'm lonely because I'm ugly and because I don't have friend my confidence decreases while my unhappiness increases and as a result I become bitter and unable of approaching others myself, resulting into me feeling even more lonely and bitter and invisible and so on.
>I remember feeling like a ugly duckling as a kid. It didn't help that my dad basically ignored me and only fawned over my older sister, praising her for being pretty and resembling my mother.
I remember so many experiences like this. During family gathering old people would always praise other kids for being pretty, glance at me and then quickly add you too. But even when I was only around 8 I could already tell that this was only done out of politeness.