My first partner was a trans woman who knew I wasn’t comfortable with my front hole from the start. She disregarded my boundaries and didn’t respect me overall so I decided to stop talking to her since she always put her sexual benefit above my well-being. She also had 2 other friends, both transwoman without bottom dysphoria who also either did sexually disturbing things to me or violated me.
My ex also didn’t have bottom dysphoria herself and she didn’t understand why I was upset when certain things like that would happen because she couldn’t “relate” to having bottom dysphoria.
I wanted to get over my bottom dysphoria too so it’s partly my fault. There were three instances that started out nonconsensual but she pulled out when I cried the first time (from just a finger) but the second time it was her dick and she pulled out and masterbated to MtF porn when I told her to stop (she woke me up from sleeping with a ass slap because I decided to have a nap after we weren’t going to fuck. )She watched porn of MtF people despite my insecurities of not having a dick and told me afterwards. It did bother me but I said it was okay instead so I should have been more honest. I felt like a double hole fleshlight but with the front hole as the only preference despite my dysphoria. Even still I wish she hadn’t done these things in the first place but that feels selfish of me. I do feel like it’s still my fault even though she influenced me and never convinced me to not hurt myself despite going through several dysphoria episodes during the relationship.
I read that “wait” means no. When I was telling her to wait one time, because it hurt and I needed more lube she said I was really wet down there and kept going anyways. I checked later on the toilet and I was bleeding a lot in my front hole and I started to sob. Within the hour she kicked me out to go bra shopping with a friend who had rubbed her butt on my (silicone) dick without consent. Two doctors said what her friend did was a sexual assault because I was a transmasculine person with severe bottom dysphoria and it was the only realistic dick I owned. She still defended her friend. Mocked what the doctors said. I broke up with her then. She also misgendered me twice as a joke, calling me “babygirl” even though she knew it had upset me. She sometimes referred to me as “girl” in text messages early in the relationship despite happily calling me her boyfriend.
I preferred being dominant but noticed ho
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