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No. 315185

No. 315193

Why does my ex start dating every time I try to reach out?

I did a very dumb thing by contacting him I know, but I did pretty good for a year 1/2 and it was only three or four times spaced out between months. I got no closure so it was just me trying to patch things up. He never responded and I thought maybe he blocked me. I share a close mutual friend with him though and there’s a pattern of him resuming dating shortly after I reach out. She doesn’t know I’ve done so but she’ll tell me who he started seeing. I didn’t realize at first then started suspecting around the second time and now this last time I’m certain it’s no coincidence bc literally the next day or so he started going out with someone after months. What are the odds? Feels like he’s doing it bc he figured it’ll get back to me. Or not but I don’t understand how he can move on so fast?

Also sorry I couldn’t find the break up thread to post this in

No. 315194

I think he's telling your mutual friend you reached out and that he's dating someone else already so the mutual friend can carry that information to you so you can stop bothering him.

No. 315195

OP here, to the person who replied previous thread that maybe he wants me to leave him alone, that’s a given bc he’s never responded but also he’s not “in” a relationship. Just going on dates and stuff. And I don’t understand why he couldn’t just block me the first few times if he didn’t wanna reply to tell me leave him alone?

No. 315199

he probably doesnt want to be rude
take the hint and leave him alone

No. 315208

You probably won’t hear what I’m saying because you have too much sympathy for his problems but he’s being shitty to you.
He’s getting up and going to work and indulging in his hobbies of gaming and chatting with other people just fine. Marriage and cohabitating involves two people and he’s not holding up his end.

Gonna be honest I got a little angry reading your post because of how much he’s taking you for granted while you’re genuinely stressed and worried about him.
Not to make you paranoid but not having sex with you all winter and never going anywhere interesting with you and ignoring you at home is extremely suspicious and I hope he’s not cheating on you.

No. 315212

I got into an argument (it wasn't even an argument, we were just having a conversation but she got heated) with my girlfriend over if the two people we know are dating or not, I hypothesized that they're just friends because I thought the girl was too good for that sleaze moid but she got very argumentative and kept trying to get me to agree that they were dating by detailing the 'couple-y' shit they allegedly do. It was nothing I really cared about and forgot about it soon till today, weeks later, she just sent me a screenrecording of the girl's IG story where she explicitly refers to herself and the guy as a 'couple', proving that they're in fact, dating. The thing is, I ultimately do not give a single fuck so I was like alright, you win. I also said it was kind of terrible of her to invade that girl's privacy for this bullshit but she was like, "It isn't like I sent you something deeply personal, it's just a video of them at their workplace!", but isn't it still weird? Going through these lengths for something so retarded. I can't stop thinking about it. We've just recently started dating and I once met her coworkers because they tagged with her while she came to meet me on her lunch break and they kind of 'jokingly' implied that she's extremely assertive and competitive, I thought that was all fine but if it's gonna be like this… What do you nonnas think?

No. 315221

I had an obsessed ex and I was scared he'd get even weirder if I blocked him. He's probably scared you'll get even more unhinged, leave him alone.

No. 315235

When would you say is a good time for a couple to get a pet together? My boyfriend and I have been together for a bit over 3 years and are planning to move in together later this year. We are mid to late 20s and I already have a dog who he adores, but I've had an itch to get a second dog for a while now. I just don't want to rush anything.

No. 315244

Not being rude would be out of the ordinary for him which is why I don’t think this is it…
Oh please he’s a guy, and I’m not even asking to get back together or something. I wouldn’t even know he blocked me anyway, I thought I was talking into a void this whole time, it’s just cathartic. Beside given our history, the one who should be wary of him is me, kinda has to do with why I’m not pushing it further than those texts.

No. 315255

3 years seems reasonable to me. Lots of people marry by that time, so I don't see why you couldn't get a dog together if you're also living together.

No. 315257

I think it's no big deal, she just wanted to proof to you she was right. are IG stories private? I didn't know that, I don't use instagram

No. 315260

They aren’t private unless your whole account is private.
This seems fine to me I don’t think you need to be worried. It’s kind of cute she was thinking about a conversation she had with you so long ago even if only due to her natural competitiveness. I think you’re mad you were wrong lol

No. 315263

That's what I was thinking as well. I don't really think there's such thing as invading someone's privacy when they're putting it on the internet for the world to see… Though I do think the competitiveness/near obsession with being right on such a non-issue behind it is sort of.. eh.. I think it depends, if she was just being playful, showing she remembered something you had a conversation about then I think it's fine, but if competitiveness/always wanting to be right over non-issues is a persisting part of her behaviour and personality that could get old real fast.

No. 315266

Id say not being able to admit one is wrong and dismissing the whole thing because of that is a bigger red flag. I bet you wouldn't think this way of it turned out you were right.

No. 315270

It was those 'close friend' stories with the green circle, I am not added to the close friends list but she is so she could see the story.
You guys are probably right. I am pretty non-confrontational and the opposite of competitive, nor have I been with anyone like that before, so it was a bit new to me. Whenever an argument seems about to happen, almost always over similar bs, I kind of back down, which she gets upset at and encourages me to fight her. But she can take being wrong or being corrected easily.
Come on, it's a silly thing. I wouldn't have cared equally if it turned out I was right.

No. 315335

Samefag updating, my ex messaged me again telling me we need to urgently speak. I think I'll just ignore him from this point on, I'm just tired of this retard chasing after me, trying to watch me, stalk me etc.
Why the fuck are you still texting me a man if you have to be wary of him? Just admit it that you're desperate and he doesn't want you back. He's even making up stuff so you get the message yet you still keep trying. Even though he's a man, it seems he has more options than you do and while you sit and obsess over him, he's out giggling with some random girl and probably making fun of your texts with your mutual friend.

No. 315337

> me a man

No. 315342

That was a typo but you're going to nitpick even though 10 anons told you to stop trying to contact your ex.

No. 315344

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Kek. Gottem. Seriously though what the fuck:
>he wants me to leave him alone
>he’s never responded
>thought I was talking into a void this whole time (this is even creepier)
>block me the first few times
>first few
>I did pretty good for a year 1/2 and it was only three or four times spaced out between months
Soooo for a year and a half you've been contacting him every few months? Stop it. The fact that you think this is you doing well speaks in volumes.
>got no closure so it was just me trying to patch things up.
He doesn't owe you closure. There is nothing between you two to "patch things up" with.
>didn’t realize at first then started suspecting around the second time and now this last time I’m certain it’s no coincidence bc literally the next day or so he started going out with someone after months.
Does your tinfoil hat attract radio signals or no?
>Feels like he’s doing it bc he figured it’ll get back to me
No. He doesn't care about you. I guarantee he's just living his life. I'm sorry.
>I don’t understand how he can move on so fast?
Am I misunderstanding or did you say in your first post that it's been a year and a half??
I sincerely hope you let go after reading everyone's reactions here. You will be better off for doing so. Have some dignity, my lord.

No. 315347

I was emotionally abusive to my girlfriend (screaming and threats) for the better half of last year and it’s like I’ve woken up and seen a house I’ve burnt down in my sleep. She says shs still loves me but I sense her resolve to not trust me like she did with her feelings before I became really crabby, cruel, domineering, and bitchy. Is there nothing to do but take it one day at a time and try to show her my love and change?

No. 315348

Yes but keep the possiblity in mind she'll never truly trust you again because you've simply shown her you're capable of being emotionally abusive towards her, you can never undo that.

No. 315364

oh my gosh I was just teasing you, I'm not even the nona with an ex. don't come on here imagining everyone is trying to be mean to you, you make the site worse. obviously it was a typo, sorry you can't see the humor in accidentally calling yourself a man on lolcow.

No. 315373

Sage because I don't know if this is technically relationship advice, but is an age gap of 18 and 25 too much? Me and this guy I'm talking to are hitting it off really well but I'm worried my age leaves me in a vulnerable position and prone to manipulation. Despite our age difference, we have a lot in common and have genuinely good chemistry. But there's also the fact we're both at fundamentally different points in life, and I'm just so conflicted. What do you think, nonnas?

No. 315386

Would you date a 14yo?No, they look like kids and act like kids. That's how he feels about you.

No. 315387

Yes yes yes that is too much. The difference in development and stage of life at 18 and 25 is too big. Also a man who considers a fresh 18 year old dating material is sketchy at best, it's like dating a child (absolutely no offense to you.)

No. 315391

Yes. That doesn’t even meet the old “half your age plus 7” rule

No. 315394

There is nothing more disgusting then a ummarried women.

Disgusting and filthy. This is disgusting, it disgusts me. In my eyes you are whores. Disgusting filthy whores.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 315396

What is ur guys’ opinions on dating apps? I’m at my wits end here, idk how to find a bf and I know I should be prioritizing myself and my studies, but I’ve been doing that my whole life and I’m just so lonely. I’ve never had a bf and I’m on the spectrum which makes things harder, I can barely successfully make friends let alone find a partner. Are dating apps worth it (and if so which ones) or all the moids on it just for hookups?

No. 315398

I need help dealing with my mentally ill ex. We barely dated a week and it's been two months since I broke up with him but he keeps calling me and texting me. I blocked him today but he keeps stalking me irl and talking to a girl in my friend group behind my back. The girl hates me for some unknown reason and she's using him to annoy me but I don't know what to do at this point.
I've changed my friend group because I'm tired of this ugly bitch telling me how she's still close with my ex and that I'm evil for breaking up with him on text even though my ex definitely deserved it because he was a retard who didn't respect my boundaries, kept trying to grope me and followed a bunch of fat escorts and kept liking naked pictures of girls we know on social media.
Like I'm honestly so annoyed at both of them and how they keep trying to talk to me and make me feel even worse even though they obviously both hate me.

No. 315405

Please do not pursue him. He is not a good man to even entertain this relationship, point blank. Trust me, been there done that.

No. 315424

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His frontal lobe is more developed. Yours is not yet. He's absolutely, unequivocally a creep. I'm sorry you find yourself in this position nonna, I hope you can get out safely and without much emotional manipulation

No. 315511

Bump please help
How do I get rid of obsessed ex who keeps trying to talk to my friends and insert himself into our spaces?

No. 315523

I love my girlfriend, but she seems somewhat emotionally stunted. I don't know how to deal with it. We've been together almost 3 years total and in that time she's matured a lot and I'm so happy to see her grow and change but she still has certain tendencies that annoy me, even though it might be selfish to say.
She (was) into anime as a kid so occasionally she talks in that autistic video essay cadence (you know the one) and she's also just not very great socially. She's such a sweet girl but she isn't the best in social situations, sometimes she just tries to be funny and isn't sometimes she goes off on tangents about stories that just aren't interesting, and sometimes I have to remind her of proper conversational behavior. "Facebook mom" somewhat describes her humor.
We had an incident where I found a bunch of pictures of shirtless anime guys on her phone which caught me wildly off guard and made me uncomfortable because it seemed like something a 16 year old would do and not someone in their early/mid 20's.
I also saw some anime fanfiction stuff in her internet history which also seems a little immature. Also a bunch of weird porn you'd have no idea she was watching and when I confronted her about it she said she was just curious.
She was physically abused by her birth parents and sexually abused by her foster parent. Yes, this clearly plays a role in her emotional state, I'm well aware. We talk about it sometimes and I do my best to be there for her.
Despite all of this and her shortcomings I very much love her and I want to see her grow even more and experience life with her. I also don't want to make her out to be mentally retarded or something, sometimes she genuinely makes me laugh with something witty and every now and then she'll come across someone and talk to them effortlessly about something she likes.
I'm just a little scared. I don't know. She's never had a real partner before so it's always in the back of my mind that she'd do something or cheat if someone else gave her attention because she's never really had that before.
I also hate to say this but I'm scared of what people will think of her since she's a little more simple and introverted. I'm not worried about my image but she's been around my parents and the impression she gives off to them is completely different than who she really is. I don't want people to see her as slow or stupid. I love her and who she is.
It might be autism, I don't know. Whatever it is I'm getting to the point where the relationship is more serious than it was and I've never been there either.
I love her and I just want to help her grow a little. I want to get her therapy for her sexual abuse but also just for her social shortcomings and emotional maturity but I wouldn't know where to start with that.
I wish I could say this without sounding like a white-knight faggot but I really just want to protect her. I don't want that to be the relationship dynamic and I certainly have my own shortcomings but sometimes she's just not on my level.
Does anyone know what I'm saying?

No. 315524

All due respect anon, you can’t therapy a lame sense of humor out of someone. You said she seems to really enjoy sex, so I think you’re being too paranoid about her background’s affect on her sex life. Also think you’re being a little weird and controlling by sitting her down to talk because she reads fanfiction. That’s really common. There’s a lot to say but basically it overall doesn’t sound like you guys are that compatible because you’re operating on different social, emotional and intelligence levels.

No. 315527

It's not necessarily the lame sense of humor, I find it kind of endearing but it's just everything coming together. I really want to stress that most of these are nitpicks and I enjoy her presence but I'm just concerned for her future and well-being.
I didn't know how common the fanfiction thing was but it still just comes off as weird and immature. Strikes the same chord as manchildren anime losers fawning over their waifus.
She is definitely a different person than me but I don't mind. If she's this way the rest of her life I'd still be with her. I'm ok with it. I've just never been with someone like this. At the end of the day those little things that tip me off don't stop me from being happy with and around her

No. 315536

How much older than her are you?

No. 315567

Anon, it sounds like you're 100000% concerned about your image, stop lying to yourself and reframing it as wanting to protect her. You don't want people to think you're dating a dorky weeb and then judge you for it in the same way that you are judging her. It's completely ok, but do some self reflection and be honest about it. If you love her, you will force yourself to grow past YOUR aversions, rather than change her to make her less cringe to your friends and family and strangers.

No. 315585

If its silly, why care that shes bringing it up and showing you shes right? kek just admit you're mad you were wrong

No. 315586

>I also saw some anime fanfiction stuff in her internet history which also seems a little immature.
I'm in my late 20s and I still read fanfics from time to time just because it's fun. Would you also think she is being immature if she was watching corny romcoms?
If she is only in her early 20s then you need to understand that she is still very young in the grand scheme of things, let her enjoy goofy stuff like fanfics and shirtless anime man abs. Who cares.

No. 315590

She's autistic like most anons here so you'll get hated on for being annoyed at her quirks because anons will self insert.
She probably won't change but you can either grow to love her dorkiness or dump her because she's a weirdo. It's your choice.

No. 315597

Kekkk I'm crying, this is the absolute worst place to complain about weebdom. Have you been to /m/? Have you looked with your eyes at all the retarded weeb shit on /g/? Being into a "fandom" and having pictures of your husbandos, might as well admit that you're mentally 12 years old. I'm sorry

No. 315600

You sound like a man.

No. 315602

I think you're right. I love her so I should stop caring about all that. When it's put like that it is kinda stupid.
I just didn't know how common that was I guess. Not that big of a deal I guess

Thanks for your input everyone

No. 315603

How do you browse LC and not know weebshit is pretty popular with teens and 20s people? It's borderlining on mainstream these days even. I'm asking unironically, I'm just genuinely surprised someone browsing an image board of all places would not know this.

No. 315604

It's not common in the real world where people regularly touch grass. It's common for shut-in turbo virgins. However, the other anon is right that you're possibly too concerned with how her behavior affects people's perception of you. Personally I could not handle the embarrassment of a socially inept partner. I don't really understand how you're able to be in love with her of you're embarrassed by her interests and behavior? Either you find it adorable and endearing or you think it's beneath you and embarrasing.

No. 315606

it is common in the real world though. you can find manga and clothing and collectibles at walmart. if that's not the norman world, i don't know what to tell you.

No. 315609

>occasionally she talks in that autistic video essay cadence
>I found a bunch of pictures of shirtless anime guys on her phone
>seemed like something a 16 year old would do and not someone in their early/mid 20's
>anime fanfiction stuff
>Also a bunch of weird porn
>social shortcomings and emotional [im]maturity

No. 315611

ntayrt but clearly anon was just talking about the weebshit part. But I think you know that and were incorporating the other parts to make it look like you have a point.

No. 315616

Uhh weeb shit is literally what I outlined in the post you replied to. I'm not talking about simply enjoying anime. That is normal and even popular these days. Simply liking anime does not a weeb make. You sound like you're being obtuse on purpose. It's ok to like anime anon.

No. 315621

You've gotta be bullshitting to call me obtuse with no sense of irony kek. I don't even like anime and haven't watched it since i was in middle school. But in case you're genuinely confused, here are all the points you brought up that are not weebshit:
>occasionally talks in autistic video essay cadence
>social shortcomings and emotional [im]maturity
>Also a bunch of weird porn
IN any case I don't think the OP and her gf are right for each other, even if she does care about her. Both can be true.

No. 315624

Those are absolutely tenents of weebiness. OP literally said the cadence thing was a result of watching anime and the porn thing also was directly in relation to anime, literally right after OP said she found "fanfiction shit" in her gf's search history but keep trying to prove me wrong kek

No. 315625

what you don't get is that no one was arguing those parts are normal, they were just saying fanfiction and shirtless anime guys are normal and you brought in the rest of it.

No. 315628

Fanfiction is normal? Yikes. I stand corrected.

No. 315629

idk why fanfiction is so reviled, sure there are a lot of 14 year old writing poorly written cringy fics, but they also write poorly written cringy other things too, because they're 14 and have no filter yet. If you've ever watched a show and thought "I wonder what would happen if XYZ took place to these characters/ in this setting" then congrats, you were mentally creating fanfiction. It's a fairly natural response to consuming stories. I'm a shit writer but if I wasn't I could see the appeal to writing some for the shows I like.

No. 315630

I’d say about half of the fanbase any given media writes fanfiction, even in their head (how would things go if things turned out like this?) it’s just a writing exercise for some people and self indulgence for others; it stems from the ability to write about an established universe without having to come up with it yourself. saged

No. 315631

anon you don't have to say "saged" kek

No. 315686

I didn’t want bitches bitching. saged

No. 315707

before this thread gets even more derailed, I need some advice; How important are sex and sexual chemistry in a relationship? does it take time to develop and improve this or does the sex and chemistry gets worse overtime?

No. 315709

This is /g/ you don't have to sage here

No. 315718

People have different libidos but for me sex is a way to show love, connect but also blow off steam as I personally enjoy it a lot, so I'd say it's important. In my case (heterosexual) I usually know early on whether I’m physically attracted to someone or not. If I’m intimate with someone I'll know after one or two times, while if it’s an acquaintance it might take a little longer for me to know. It might sound weird but I can smell when I am attracted to someone, they have very nice body odor. I think sexual chemistry on the other hand might take longer to develop, but I’ve never been with a guy I was wildly attracted to where I felt the chemistry was off. Used to be with a guy I secretly wasn't that attracted to and it wore on our relationship. I loved him and we still had sex, but my body wouldn't physically respond to his so it was rough for us both. He also got on my nerves very easily and I wonder if it might have been because I wasn't attracted to him. Men I find attractive who smell good have a passifying effect on me lol. I never wanna be in a relationship with someone I'm not attracted to again. It was very heartbreaking so I'd rather be single.

No. 315719

Samefag sorry I got a bit carried away. To answer your question more specifically, I think the chemistry is usually there early on but the sex gets better if you work on it lol

No. 315720

Also kinda related but I went on a couple of dates with a guy I was head over heels into who smelled great. We never got to the point of having sex because he did something which annoyed/threatened me and all of a sudden I couldn’t stand to be near him and his scent became instantly off-putting. It was the strangest thing. I think attraction is very instinctual to me, either it’s there or it’s not, but moids can definitely also just do something so off-putting there’s no way to salvage it. Sorry I’m done sperging now.

No. 315728

Why would it get worse over time? It becomes richer and more intimate the stronger and longer the relationship grows. If you and your partner have matching sex drives I say it's very important to have sexual chemistry. If neither of you is very interested in sex then it's less important, which I guess is still a form of sexual chemistry. It can definitely grow and improve from something small like you said, or it can be explosive right off the bat, and still grow to be even better. If someone really loves you they will work to meet you in the middle if needed.

No. 315737

Oh really? I wasn’t sure. Saged

No. 315740

Never, ever, ever date an ugly man. It's its own special hell from the get-go, and it gets so much worse as he ages into a rotten blobfish carcass faced lump…

No. 315745

The thing is he wasn't ugly, just too skinny/effeminate for my tastes. He was a few years older than me, 30 but still young boyish features, dressed fashionably, did the whole lovebombing spiel. I felt like he was out of my league, but we just weren't sexually compatible. Of course he turned out to be a manchild but that's a different story. Agree with your point tho.

No. 315763

Putting "saged" at the end of all your posts sort of makes you a namefag anon. You're supposed to stay anonymous.

No. 315774

yeah I enjoy sex a lot too but I'm not sure if I would say I'm a sexual person, I can easily survive without having sex but if the partner I have wanted to have sex I would definitely be up for it. maybe it's because I rarely masturbate and stuff.

>I never wanna be in a relationship with someone I'm not attracted to again.

I can relate, I sometimes felt like the main reason I dated my exes is because they showed interest in me even though I wasn't attracted to them at all.

>all of a sudden I couldn’t stand to be near him and his scent became instantly off-putting
reminds me of being put off by guys who smoke because of my previous experiences with guys who smoke being forceful and needy. I'm sure its not the case for everyone but I personally don't like kissing someone that taste like cigarettes

>Why would it get worse over time?
I thought some sex life in some relationships gets worse over time because some partners get bored of their SO or there's a change in circumstances and they don't have much time to be intimate and have sex.

Thank you to those who have replied so far to this. I was just asking because there's a guy who I have a mutual interest in and might want to date but the only thing I am a bit hesitant about is his satisfaction with our sex. I already said a bit about it in the sex advice thread but the guy I like isn't satisfied with just the one position we have sex in, we tried other positions but it could never go in or it's an uncomfortable position. He opened up to me when I last met him that he's worrying that my weight is getting in the way of our sex even though I have experienced other positions with other people before. I'm just starting to feel some doubt about getting into a relationship with him even though he's keen about dating me and is willing to go above and beyond to take me out on dates, treating me well and making sure I'm comfortable.

Just a little note, I am pretty happy with the sex I have with him, it's probably one of the best sex I had. I think another issue is that it takes him a while for him to finish, there were times when he would finish himself off. I sometimes think if I am good enough for him.

here's hoping the sex gets better for him or else I'm not sure if I would want to be with someone who isn't sexually satisfied

No. 315778

>I think another issue is that it takes him a while for him to finish
Anon I just wanna say you should not take it as a sign that you're not attractive enough for him. It's often a sign of too much porn/deathgrip syndrome, which is another can of worms. I remember your posts from the sex advice thread and honestly the situation sounds like a him issue. You might be better off cutting your losses.

No. 315779

>I thought some sex life in some relationships gets worse over time because some partners get bored of their SO or there's a change in circumstances and they don't have much time to be intimate and have sex.
AYRT sorry for the dumb question, I realized why you asked about it getting worse over time because the situation in your answer is common. It really depends on the partner and the connection between the two. My bf and I have been together 10+ years and are still very excited to have sex with each other. I've also had problems with low sex drive and we managed to work through it together. I think the guy you're dating kind of sounds rude. Why would you ever think it's ok to say something like that about a woman's most vulnerable moments? That's a really tone-deaf thing for him to mention. If he's just a dumbass and didn't realize how retarded that was, you could always try showing him how you were able to achieve certain positions with other partners. If you're having doubts about your worth in relation to a man you're thinking of getting into a relationship with, I'd definitely say not to do it. Your man should make you feel sexy and he should be very excited to have sex with you.

No. 315796

Honestly I don't blame him for watching porn, he's in his early 30s, hasn't had much sex experience and never dated anyone. I do worry about the effects of getting into a relationship with someone who has a porn addiction.

I feel like it would be so bad and awkward to cut him off, especially since we have mutual friends, all probably expecting us to get together with how slow we have been, and I met his parents. But then again it wouldn't be as bad as breaking it off in a relationship, it's just bad that I've probably been wasting his time… and thank you anon for your advice, I definitely know he's attracted to me it's just a bit of a struggle to do the positions he wants and he probably feels very limited.

yeah sorry I didn't explain my situation, I was going to add it into the first post but I thought I would see the replies first before inputting my situation. I feel like we could work together but at the same time I don't know how much him putting aside his sexual fantasies would affect our relationship. I do agree it was quite tone-deaf for him to bring up my weight for the issue with our sex, I think he got a bit too comfortable with opening up to me. I'm not sure how to show him how I was able to achieve certain positions, it just felt pretty natural with most other guys I have been with and sometimes I would help with my hands but even that is kinda difficult with the current guy. I feel more looked after and cared for by the current guy than I do sexy and excited, it's quite mellow and chill. Yeah I am having a little doubt about my worth sexually with the guy but at the same time, I don't know if he could find someone who would turn his head. actually now that I think about it there could be someone but I highly doubt it based on what he told me about her but then again who knows. Thanks for the advice though and telling me about your experience, its really nice to hear more successful long relationships.

Actually after reading these replies and thinking about it, I feel a lot more comfortable with staying single (I'm in my late 20s) and working out what I want in a partner rather than feeling I have to get into a relationship soon with the one guy just because I have been going out on dates with him for a while and everyone thinks we will get together. I was going to bring up this one other guy who's in his early 20s. I had huge sexual chemistry with him and an attraction as a whole but even I can tell he's not ready for a relationship based on him worrying about upsetting his partner over little things and not having much experience on how to treat a person in a relationship compare to just a friendship.

No. 315799

As a fellow fatty how did you get a skinny guy without him being a chubbychaser

No. 315801

It's all in the personality and confidence in oneself. Some people like when someone has confidence in their body, taking every step with stride. Also helps if you are doing things to improve yourself physically, mentally or even productively.

No. 315804

>taking every step with stride
yup, that's how walking works

No. 315814

I was being dumb and cheesy, I don't normally get ask for relationship advice. anyways lets keep this thread being on topic

No. 315834

File: 1678269269810.jpeg (222.32 KB, 770x620, 071D787D-FF93-427B-9E8E-031F53…)

is this a deal breaking offence?

look in bfs phone at his conversation right his ex and he said to her:

>i’m gonna go to bed now because i’m too tired to function and i wouldn’t want to cross a line

she asked what he meant and he said

>old habits kicking in for example

they were together for a long time and we’ve only recently got together

No. 315835

Ew yes he's totally testing the waters to see how she responds. So cringe and a sign of bad character imo.

No. 315838

Dump and run nonna.

No. 315839

run nonny

No. 315840


for reference we are in an LDR and she only lives 2 hours away. should i really end it over this?

No. 315841

Yes. Next.

No. 315846

>debating staying with in a recent LDR with someone who isnt over their ex and still talks to them

if you stay you consent to being a clown

No. 315847

are there any alternative solutions? maybe we could talk about it

No. 315848

Kind of related to >>315834

When is it okay to look through your partner's phone?
Is suspecting something is up enough to warrant breaching their privacy?

I'm thinking of checking my boyfriend's phone because I think he's still texting his ex behind my back

No. 315849

the whole ‘don’t look in ur bfs phone else u don’t trust them’ is literally weaponised misogyny to keep women from finding out men’s antics and emotional and physical infidelities.

innocent until proven guilty, sure, but it has to be proven.

No. 315850

confront him about it and you can decide what to do based on his response

No. 315851

no don’t because he’ll lock down his phone and delete stuff before she gets the chance. if you have a hunch, act on it.

No. 315852

she already saw the conversation though

No. 315853

i confronted him already he said he’s not ‘dumping his friends’ for me

No. 315854

yeah ok break up with him and move on

No. 315857

he still has feelings for her and it’s likely the reverse. >>315840 she’s two hours away and you’re across the globe, why would he choose you? you’re just a side piece/emotional support

No. 315866

>He opened up to me when I last met him that he's worrying that my weight is getting in the way
This means he's not happy with anons body. I've known a few guys admit they fucked or dated fatties they were ashamed of because of desperation and the fact that more than %60 of women in west country s are obese so getting one that's even normal weight means the guy has to be hot.

No. 315873

This happened to me too! Had an ex who in the beginning his scent wasn’t amazing but I never really noticed it, and then once his behavior changed and I saw who he really was he smelled absolutely disgusting. My ex after him actually did make me go crazy with the way he smelled but freaked out and sabotaged our relationship and one of the times I saw him after his breath was gross.

No. 315897

Ayrt that’s super interesting! I think smell as a memory trigger and danger signalling is very interesting and I also feel like body scent is overlooked in terms of attraction. I hope you can one day find another moid who’s scent drives you crazy, it’s the best feeling
>one of the times I saw him after his breath was gross

No. 315900

How do I get over the feeling of discomfort when my bf touches me unexpectedly? I'll be sitting on the couch or something next to him and he wraps his arm around me or runs his hands over my waist and hips and I just instantly tense up and get hyper aware of my own body. It's a shitty body image thing really, I can't help but think of him feeling how my tights dig into my sides or the lumps and rolls I have in certain positions. I'm not even fat so I know these flaws are probably bigger in my head, but I'm still very self-conscious. I think part of it is also that my ex was quite chubby and it kind of made me lose attraction feeling these fat rolls when touching him, so I'm scared that my bf will have the same reaction with me.
All I want is to just be able to relax and feel comfortable when being touched like that, especially since I love being touchy towards him and I spontaneously grope and feel him up all the time.
How do I loosen up about this??

No. 315917

If you feel compelled to check his phone because you are not secure in your relationship then just go? Why do women live like this?

No. 315922

how did you look in his phone if you're in a LDR? was he visiting? did you sign into messages with his apple ID or something?

No. 315924

Why are you wasting your time worriying over a scrote when the realtionship barely exists? You haven't even sunk time into it, just leave lmao. Or do you want to be the next best thing to his ex he is trying to sleep with for weeks, months or even years?

No. 315932

Not checking a mans phone is 2iq move. Finding cp or violent porn can help a woman escape before he ruins your life.

No. 315937

If your partner spends 6 hours a day in a room locked up and you wouldn't know what he's doing there and you wouldn't be allowed in there, wouldn't you be highly suspicious? That room is the phone. The length people will go to defend having the ~privacy~ of their phones away from their partners when literal hours upon hours are spent on there a day is insane. I'm pro-checking your partner's phone all the way.

No. 315938



it’s LDR anon here

how should i break up with him? Do i tell him i feel hurt and betrayed? i feel like we should try to work it out tbh

No. 315939

how would you even work it out? when you approached him he didn't apologize but instead got defensive and told you he wasn't going to stop talking to her. sounds like the compromise would have to be entirely on your end. a good partner doesn't breach your trust like that

No. 315941

do you think they’re likely to sleep together behind my back? it kinda seemed to me like he was trying to guide the conversation that way

No. 315943

File: 1678309809941.png (202.45 KB, 1302x698, Screenshot 2023-03-08 at 1.09.…)

I'm tapping the sign from last thread

No. 315946

>old habits kicking in
Am I crazy or is this highly implying he wants to fuck his ex

No. 315948

literally this.

sorry anon but you are as much bf and gf as i am the queen of England. that’s HER man, accept it

No. 315949

yes he is clearly saying that AND she lives in the same country as him whereas anon does not

No. 315951

you’re gonna get yourself hurt. if they’re not fucking already, they will be. men are animals and will choose IRL over LDR even if the IRL option is much worse.

No. 315960

Does anyone just NOT see themselves being in a relationship, ever? I feel silly for having believed in love at all. I feel like love is reserved for the non autist

No. 315961

No. 315963


yes mainly due to shit like this


dick whipped but without the dick. tragic

No. 315966

Eugh disgusting, this is why snooping a bf's phone is always allowed

No. 315967

then just don't date.

No. 315990

I'm sure my problem is only getting more prevalent with microtransactions being everywhere, so here it is, my husband falls hard for game gambling every so often. I have told him that it's a scam and the whole point of it is that they keep getting your money. We have separate banks accounts so it really doesn't affect me directly, but it worries me. He goes to digital gambling because he's avoiding doing something irl. He ALWAYS feels bad once he purchases something to gamble so I remind him that it doesn't even give him anything to feel good about so he should stop. Now he is so caught up in playing games and gambling that we don't hang out anymore. All he wants to talk about is about games and how it's consuming all his time and so he needs to play even more to find time. It's like he can't make the connection it does not fucking matter. It's not real. I try to help him with his real life responsibilities like doing his taxes, but he keeps procrastinating. He procrastinates everything actually. He's a very anxious person and I don't know how to help somebody who's so afraid to start. He shuts down the conversation that he even has a problem and I need advice on what to do.

No. 315991

File: 1678327536499.png (788.65 KB, 755x738, rofl.png)

No. 316001

Even if you have separate bank accounts you're still married which means your finances are entangled so I would say the way he spends money does very much affect you. Anyway this isn't really a problem we can fix by giving you advice, this is a problem with your husband having an addiction to gambling –he's the one that has to take steps to stop.

Look into Neurofeedback therapy (also known as EEG biofeedback) near you and try that if you can get him to go.

No. 316018

Me, I've never been attracted to anybody, and the one time I was vaguely dating somebody I was very flakey, it took me days to answer a text and I would postpone dates constantly. I'm a very independent person and a relationship would put a dent in it and there's no way I'm prioritizing a partner.

No. 316024

he’s probably just using you to get back at her and has no real intention of meeting you. just get rid

No. 316046

Don't date men who have poor impulse control and issues with addiction. People who have addictive personalities almost never just stick with one addiction and poor impulse control is just a bad personality trait you don't want in a partner and don't want to pass on to your potential future children. Basically, your man is weak and not worth keeping around.

No. 316101

hello spongebob anon back again,
unfortunately, my boyfriend couldn't accept my fetish anymore so i had to break it off with him but ive met another man now. how do i slowly introduce him to my need for spongebob roleplay? i cant live without it

No. 316102

poison his food and bury him in your backyard

No. 316103

Why don't you just find a spongebob discord server or some shit and find a guy there

No. 316134

I admire you for knowing what you want and pursuing it.

No. 316144

File: 1678409205167.jpg (47.66 KB, 1200x600, cat-cry-compressed.jpg)

nonnies please give it to me straight, am i searching for a unicorn if i want my moid to not be porn addicted? are other nonas just fantasizing when they talk about their perfect porn hating nigels?
the last 4 of my long-term relationships ended because of porn addiction. the last guy i dated kept it secret until after 2 years together when he asked if he could look at loli porn while we were intimate and i can't fucking take it anymore.
it feels like the internet has just completely corrupted this generation of men with how easily accessible porn is, especially the more degenerate porn
i'm completely anti-porn but at this point don't even care that much if he watches vanilla shit anymore. i'm so tired of finding out the men i try to date end up being into loli or furry shit it's driving me absolutely wild. at this rate i'm just going to live on the outskirts of civilization with 8 goats if i run into one more moid who can't fucking cum without his degenerate ass porn

No. 316146

I have an idea for a business: mail-order boyfriends from some remote place that doesn't have the internet yet
I reckon I have a limited time to make big buck on it as those places are ever fewer

No. 316147

Ok, completely stupid wild theory but I think the porn problem is related to the rockabilly phenomenon. Rockabilly women attract men who are into vintage pinup which is 90,000x less fucked up than modern internet porn. It’s a real “improvise, adapt, overcome” strategy.
Maybe look for guys that into vintage glamour but not gay lol

No. 316154

I found that, but my nigel quit porn a long time ago, as well as thinking he might be asexual and didnt masturbate for a year before we got together. However finding him was just dumb luck as my previous partners turned out to be porn addicted coomers.

I guess more spiritual men seem to be less into porn from my experience. My male friends who got really into spirituality quit/reduced porn consumption bc they got aware of how bad it is for ones soul.

No. 316155

File: 1678413983395.jpeg (18.47 KB, 231x199, 49D78F46-E061-4063-8630-4C7C68…)

Hi nonnies, I’m gonna apologize in advance for the autism but I’m struggling in my long term relationship and I’d like to know if anyone has dealt with/has advice for this. My boyfriend and I have been together about six years. He was my first real relationship and we got together in highschool, so we’ve grown up and gone through a lot. I think we both feel very comfortable in the relationship but…I’ve just had this nagging thing wondering if we should actually stay together. He’s much more reactive then proactive so that’s been the biggest point of contention between us. We also have quite different mentalities, personalities and interests so it makes me question how compatible we really are. Is it just because we’ve known each other so long/ know each other so well that it works? I can say I love him but I don’t know if love will be enough if we settle down. And even if we did separate could I find someone else who accepts me as willingly as he does? I’ve never been with anyone else so it’s hard for me to know. Maybe I’m overthinking things but I’d really love to hear input/experience if anyone has any. Thank you!!

No. 316158

Yeah. I know this isn't the thread for it, but honestly unless you're absurdly resilient - you aren't, you're a human being kek - and can maybe sift through dozens of men maybe it's better if you just go herd some goats. Step back and maybe think of the failures as having a cost…maybe it's peace of mind or mental health or having to manage birth control. Is it worth the small chance you'll find a guy not like that and for it to actually last?

No. 316159

I just found out one of his passwords is “billcosby”…. I’m freaking out literally shaking

No. 316164

The only way in my experience is if it's a man who has good self-esteem and has never had trouble having sex with women/young women (as they were growing up, like in high shcool). Bring on the triggered autists but my man was a literal sports chad in high school and became sick of the partying and easy casual sex once he realized how empty it was (and he went through something very very traumatic) and decided to become celibate. He feels like masturbation (without a parter watching kek) is pathetic. He knew a girl who got into the porn industry when he was in high school (friend's older sister) who changed rapidly for the worst after doing it for less than a year, so he knows how fucked up it is which further turned him away from it. His preference is and always has been to have sex with and be in the presence of an actual, irl woman. He is aware that women in porn are not actually enjoying themselves and therefore cannot get sexual gratification from it. I could go on because he is as based as possible for a male but I'll stop there. I'm literally not even going to check replies to this post because I can only imagine the bullshit some anons are going to spew after reading my experience but whatever. My point is that it is possible for a male to be repelled by pornography. I have 0 idea how extremely uncommon this actually is in the general population of men but they do exist.

No. 316169

He is retarded at making passwords, he needs numbers and capitals letters like Bi11c05bY

No. 316170

Ok actually I’m calm down, and I realize I really need to reflect on why I would think that straight off the bat. Truth is all I saw was “bill*”, it could be anything

No. 316171

Lol actually it wasn’t, all I saw was “bill*” and filled in Cosby for whatever reason. It could be any bill, or it could just be a word that starts with “bill”

No. 316172

Idk why but it’s not letting me type stars close together, I saw “b i l l *”

No. 316174

omg, “billstarstarstarstarstar”

No. 316175

What are you even freaking out over exactly

No. 316180

The most confident and whorish man I know has a porn addiction. Told me he started having a lot of sex at 14 because word got around that he was hung and asides from being obviously attractive. He’s done pretty much almost everything degenerate from sleeping with other men’s wives to threesomes etc. He also literally has no pictures of himself that aren’t of him in the nude AND is a pedophile (thought I was a child). I’m not sure if that’s the causation or not, like maybe all his sexcapades were to focus away from his predelictions or maybe him being a slutty man made him escalate to seek out more “taboo” things. Either way, ime ladies men are more likely to be less inhibited so they probably see porn as very low on the list of degeneracy. You’re lucky

No. 316182

You've described a literal unicorn man. Like, I'm happy for you but that's not a normal man.

No. 316185

I knew a guy like this. He got rich from crypto, did coke all day and was a raging narcissist kek

No. 316186

Lol what? You first make it sound like rockability is the reason men are addicted to porn but then say they’re less into into porn? Could you explain further? Seems interesting

No. 316187

not OP but i need a manslut basically? ugh…to me they're as gross as porn addicts

No. 316192

>make it sound like rockability is the reason men are addicted to porn
oh no lol I can see how it sounded like that because of the way I phrased my stupid theory but that's not what I meant.
I was basically saying if all men are addicted to porn then theoretically you would want to target the ones who were attracted to the most tame type of porn (glamour pinups). hence my theory of rockabilly women adapting to this pornified environment we find ourselves in and emulating the pinup look. I realize it's super stupid and a lot of rockabilly ladies have husbands who could not care less if their wife is wearing 50s hoop skirts, it just popped into my head as an idea. if you were looking for a man that won't try to get you to look at loli porn with him 2 years into the relationship at least pinup women are adults.

No. 316194

I think i asked this multiple times before in /ot/ but never got an answer so I'll try here: what exactly is the difference between someone being friendly and flirting? a lot of supposed 'flirting' just looks like regular politeness idgi. I thought it was usually something sexual but some examples don't seem to be.

No. 316198

I don’t think there is a hard line, which is what makes it a difficult topic terms of relationship boundaries or harassment cases and so on. By which I mean you can flirt with someone without having any ulterior motives. I'm in a relationship but I'm also a sociable person and enjoy some flirting every now and then. I think if my bf flirted with other girls I would feel like he was more attractive/"a catch" as long as I knew he didn't mean anything by it, but it's a delicate balance.

I think flirting has a lot in common with banter, and being good at it goes hand in hand with having social intelligence and wit, or sometimes it’s just being polite as you said. People I know who have that natural flirtyness usually have very attractive personalities. I think it's fun as long as I know they don’t mean anything by it or they don’t overdo it.

No. 316206

basically it's when eye contact starts feeling intimate. if you're not sure how much eye contact is ok, observe people around you.
I'm a weird type of socially awkward and make direct eye contact as a rule as some sort of overcompensation and it has gotten me in trouble. I do it too long. I wish people wanted to stare into eachothers eyes more… it's pleasant. Feels like looking at a nice painting to me.

No. 316208

The issue is that men absolutely would never flirt with a woman they don't find sexually appealing. Men don't flirt for fun or validation like women do. Their goal is to get laid. It's never innocent when a man interacts with a woman he finds attractive.

No. 316209

I've had coworkers I've "flirted" with who were in happy relationships and boundaries weren't crossed/didn't escalate. Maybe it helps that I'm very average looking lol. I understand where you're coming from though, my point was more that I think it can be hard to draw a straight line between what's considered flirting and what isn't.

No. 316211

in a happy relationship but want more pda. I just want it I don't have a reason. it's never been a thing in our relationship. we are married, I'm not planning on leaving this man so I've always been a little puzzled why this is weird for him. I can have hand holding and kisses on face (not mouth) if I ask, that's it lol. it's kinda cute but it makes me knit my brows at the same time.
have any of you ever drawn a man out of this shell?

No. 316212

No doubt they want to fuck you, sorry to break it to you. Men are constantly looking at their options and wife/gf doesn't stop them from trying to find out if they could have sex with someone else. Maybe they wouldn't go through with it out of fear of losing their family, but no doubt do they wish they could. It's not innocenct. Stop projecting on men, they are not like us.

No. 316219

Feel like you are projecting on me a lil bit, if I'm flirting with someone I also on some level find them attractive and like to entertain the idea of what it'd be like to fuck them lol. I think the fun is in knowing it won't happen, it's a cheap ego boost. I get what you mean tho, men are opportunistic, will always jump on the opportunity if it presents itself bla bla. I guess the attraction is in the illusion of them having self control

No. 316231

And you do this while in a relationship? Gross.

No. 316246

lol YES did you even read my posts smh

No. 316255

Nonas this is going to be the most basic shit but I'm stupid and don't know what to do. What is a healthy way to get over a past relationship? My last relationship ended three years ago and I still can't picture myself trusting anyone again. It wasn't even a long-term relationship either, we were just very intense because of, I suppose, lesbianism. Also, am I setting myself up for failure if I don't want to date through apps but rather expect to meet someone more naturally?

No. 316258

Who cares? Most men look at porn and fantasize about other women while in a relationship. They don't deserve loyalty.

No. 316260

I'd break up with my boyfriend if he had a work wife he flirted with, and I would expect him to do the same if I had a work husband. Its disrespectful.

No. 316268

Was gonna say the same thing but >>316258 has a point. I'm not in favour of fun flirting while in a relationship but that shit is no where on the same level as jacking off to other women every night while being in a relationship. Women really be expected to be saints while being socially pressured to not call their porn watching bfs out for what it is, cheating.

No. 316269

Work flirting can be different. For instance most of the men at work who flirt with me regularly are 50+ and if i smile and play along they do their job better and are more easily managed. I don't flirt with my peers tho because they might actually want to take it further. The older married dudes you only ever interact with at work are harmless.

No. 316271

That's not "work flirting" that's manipulating and I applaud you for it

No. 316287

Whenever someone says flirting gives them an ego boost they’re always some painfully average loser. Why do you need external validation that randos want to fuck you? Get a hobby.

No. 316291

Start collecting your thoughts on what your wants and needs from a partner are. Identify your personal boundaries and dealbreakers and enforce them. Unfortunately you can’t control others actions but if you set parameters for yourself while not attached to someone it will be easier to identify when it’s time to leave.

No. 316298

Porn free men are unicorns. Understand that 50% of men out there will never be in a long term relationship or have sex with anyone, ever, in their entire lives. Be picky. So, so picky. Put it out there you don't want to be with a man who spends his free time endulging in porn. Usually men who don't do drugs, smoke, or drink are not into porn as well, because the addictive qualities hasn't taken his brain over.

No. 316315

Pls go back and read my posts in succession

No. 316376

yes, they are unicorns. very rare to find but do exist. i too had several relationships in a row where the men turned out to be fucking freaks, pestering me to choke me or anal or whatever.
i think a good tip is to try and find someone who doesn't have social media, maybe? my current nigel doesn't have any social media and therefore doesn't get exposed to all the disgusting abuse porn you see casually posted all over the internet, so he had never developed a liking for it.

No. 316382

different anon completely but just out of curiosity, a nigel who has no social media, is he kind of strange personality wise? As in, does he come off as some kind of hippy or are nigels without social media even better?

No. 316385

men don't need to find someone sexually appealing to want to have sex with them.

No. 316391

Can someone give me love advice? How do I stop being so mentally ill about this crap?
I've had a crush on an online friend for a while now, but I've had trouble getting to spend time alone with him very often because I'm too shy. Sometimes we do stuff together alone, but then he does other stuff, and I've been too shy to make a move.
Yesterday, this other girl who's been in a Discord server with us mutually joined a game of Cards Against Humanity that me, him, and some friends played, and he seemed totally interested in her.
After that, she began talking about her D&D sessions, and he is a big D&D fan, and I noticed they ended up staying together in the server's voice channel for a whopping 5 hours talking about god knows what.
She has a boyfriend, so I wasn't that worried at first, but I'm stupid and obsessive, and this has made my heart hurt a bit because I really liked him and was hoping we were going somewhere slowly because we've been hanging out more and more. But he's never shown that much interest in anyone before, nor has he ever stayed up late in a vc channel like he did with her.
and even though she has someone, I felt like there was something going, and her having a boyfriend doesn't exclude the possibility that she'd take him away from me.
I feel so jealous and bothered and am on the verge of crying because this happened. I just wanted to spend time with him without feeling jealous over other girls. How do I stop making it hurt? How do I stop being so jealous? Why can't I be happy by myself?

No. 316394

Just realize he is another moid on Discord. They're abundant, and he isn't as special as you make him out to be. Remember, if he wanted to, he would go after you and talk more with you if he was interested. Just keep taking it slow and easy since you're friends anyway. I'm sure your crush will fade off after a while when you start noticing all these things about him.

No. 316409

Nonas I'm severely autistic when it comes to reading men's intentions, I need advice.
I've known this guy for a year now since he joined my friendship group. He's in a long distance relationship with a girl in another country, but apparently they haven't been doing so well for the past few months and are on the verge of breaking up (if they haven't already).
He's not really on social media, we used to message occasionally last year in a friendly way, but he'd take days to reply each time because that's just the way he is. But then last month, he messaged me out of the blue and we talked every single day from then on. Some of it was vaguely flirty, we talked about some deep stuff and I was feeling a lot closer to him.
But suddenly he completely ghosted me. It's been a week, and he hasn't even opened the last message I sent.
What's happening nonas? I thought I was doing so well, I fancy the shit out of him and I was genuinely happy while talking to him. He's a nice guy, I don't think he'd be playing around with me.
What do you think happened? Did he just get sick of talking to me or something?

No. 316413

He's in a relationship. Are you retarded? He messages you when he's fighting with his girl to get an ego boost and have a back-up plan and then when they make up he ghosts you again and regrets talking to you behind her back. Men do this all the time. He's a piece of shit.

No. 316416

I feel like this probably isn't the right place since most users are younger, but has anyone here ever gotten divorced? How did you know if it was the right thing to do? Did you regret it or are you happier now? Did you have any kids?

No. 316417

>Are you retarded?

No. 316421

>He's a nice guy, I don't think he'd be playing around with me.

Oh, nonny. Keep caping for him, trying to make excuses, crushing on someone who is in a relationship, wasting your emotions when an actual "nice guy" would come to you without baggage, stating his intentions to date without any bs.

If you don't use your brain and just chase the ones that give you virtual dopamine hits via texts, that's all you'll ever get from men, sporadic texts and nothing of substance. Don't put no effort texts on a pedestal and infer his character is good because he sent you an "aww urge so cute lol" a few weeks ago. Aim higher

No. 316445

If he does answer you, I suggest you ghost him.

No. 316481

What does it mean when a moid is disrespectful and rude and talks down to every other woman he meets except his girlfriend?
I know this is a raging red flag and that he'll treat the gf that way too eventually because subconscious and stuff, but I can't really think of any other logical explanations right now kek.

No. 316483

it means that he's incredibly full of himself and his girlfriend should break up with him

No. 316508

Forget about him

No. 316513

Not divorced but broke up with my oneitis who I thought I would settle for. I’m assuming you are having issues with your relationship because of the nature of your question. Have you already tried working on it? Multiple times? Were there any red flags or incompatibilities you ignored because the idea of a happily ever after appealed to you? There might be someone out there more suitable for you but if not, is being single or taking on lovers here and there really so much worse than spending the rest of your life with him dissatisfied? Are you able to sustain yourself independently?

No. 316518

It means he’s probably putting her on a pedestal and they’re more than likely still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. Once reality sets in he will turn on her and often even harsher on her than everyone else.

No. 316526

Right before we broke up my ex said he didn’t lead me on and when I brought up all the times we had sex he said he was just sleep deprived. It was humiliating and now I can’t stop thinking about it lately, like I took advantage of him. I’d it possible for guys to be able to have sex when they’re tired? It just seems so contradictory. I also don’t remember if he was or not. I don’t think I would’ve initiated anything if I thought he was tired but idk what’s real or not anymore

No. 316527

The way a moid acts to women he doesn't want to/can't fuck says a lot more about them than how they treat their girlfriend. I'd think a guy like that is very deeply misogynistic and sees all women as lesser. He's smart enough to know that you have to at least pretend to be nice to your girlfriend if you want to keep her, but mentally he regards her the same as all the other women and would likely treat her the same way if he wasn't getting sex.

No. 316533

Nta. I had my “wish come true” and found a guy with “no” social media. Didn’t even have a smartphone. He had a laptop but as far as I knew for normie stuff like email, youtube, reasearch, work etc. Well it turns out he was still a degenerate, and made throwaway accounts if he had to login to a site to use it, but mostly used ones that didn’t require any login. So yeah, if your Nigel has no social media I would still not let your guard down and I’d thread just as carefully if not more so, it just makes it harder to uncover stuff because there are no traces left

No. 316534

Also he was weird but he didn’t come across as hippy. Maybe “hippy” in the sense he claimed to not like technology. Think Ted aficionado.

No. 316535

Men find more women than you’d think sexually appealing. They just don’t want to do anything with them long term, be seen with them, let alone let anyone know about it. Just think of the amount of men that are into morbidly obese women compared to how many women are into the same type of morbidly obese men?
Or maybe I’m online too much, but it seems widespread.

No. 316536

This. Dated a scrote who was all cutesy and kind in the beginning when I was his personal cumdumpster but did a complete flip once I stopped having sex with him every single time we hung out. It was when COVID was really starting to hit and the external stressors killed my libido. All I wanted was to be near him and get emotional support but he kept getting nasty after like, three weeks. He was such a sperg and there were massive warning signs but I ignored them like a dumbass. Should’ve left him when I saw old tweets flipping out about the Ghostbusters 2016 remake.

No. 316549

Uuhh thats the dumbest excuse ever. He's gaslighting you.

No. 316551

Men have sex with roadkill, they literally have zero standards at all. They will attempt to have sex with women they are disgusted by just to see if they can. Men have a deep desire to use their penis to conquer and all things they have not yet invaded with their penis are new and interesting, much more so than the things they have already experienced (their gf). For example if you have a bf who always talks about how disgusting a certain woman he knows is, you can bet that he has thought at least once about fucking her and what it would be like. Probably would if he could. Men are animals, nothing more.

No. 316556

Do you take everything a male says at face value? Dont.

No. 316558

Never making the first move ever again, not IRL or in apps, what they say true, men immediately get cocky and think you're beneath them. It may not show immediately but it's how they think.

No. 316562

he's 1000% fucking with you. yes they can have sex when they're tired but you were dating so what the fuck is he even talking about. leading him on??? huh

No. 316567

No. 316573

Thanks nonnies, I needed someone to judge the situation honestly. My two friends that I've told are making excuses for him and saying that he's probably just busy and that I'm overreacting. Good to know that I'm allowed to feel angry at him, I hate men

No. 316727

File: 1678670919685.jpg (142.78 KB, 1079x1074, 023img.jpg)

Had a super shitty breakup today. He was furious with me, but towards the end he calmed down and explained he wanted to take time to think if we should ever even get back together. He hugged me and left me at his place to get my stuff together. Don't know what to do at this point. I really think I've lost everything.

No. 316755

Carefully gather anything important to you and leave. You broke up.
Are you homeless? If you're homeless without his apartment don't leave (unless he's a physical threat to you or something). You live there, breakups aren't supposed to put you on the street. Pay half the rent or whatever until you find your own place.

No. 316762

File: 1678700440959.jpeg (25.29 KB, 680x642, E09C5051-61A0-4013-9326-2087AD…)

A male friend of mine drunkenly propositioned me a few weeks ago. We used to flat together and there was always a bit of chemistry between us but I didn’t want to get involved with a flatmate and I didn’t like the way he and his friends spoke about girls they liked so I kept it to myself, but then about three weeks ago he hit up late on a Saturday trying to hook up. We caught up the next night and talked about it and I let him down easy but it was still really awkward and we haven’t spoken since. I miss his friendship and thought we got along so well, but now I’m worried that in retrospect the good times we had together were just him flattering me so he could try and get a leg over. Do I try and savage the friendship or do I throw the whole man away?

No. 316769

Men will never be your friend. Women can be "just friends" with men but the other way around does not work, which is why friendships with men are pointless. Trust me, all your male friends are secretly hoping one day you will let them smash. Men don't waste time on women they don't think they could potentially fuck one day, women they are not attracted to and wouldn't fuck are invisible to them and they would never bother being friendly to them. Any time a man shows any amount of interest in you it's because he is hoping for sex in the future. Best you learn this now and stop wasting your time.

No. 316783

I would plainly voice my concern to him depending on how much you think he’s worth it being honest to but tbf he sounds like an asshole from what you tell re you disliking the way he and his friends talked about women. Very likely he talks about you with them like this too so you should keep this in mind regardless of how attracted you are to him. If you want to know, talk with him about this and see how he reacts otherwise just ditch him or keep him at arms length depends on how much you like the guy.
ofc someone who wants to fuck you as a first motive and ignores that this is being disrespectful towards you can never be your real friend because of obvious reasons (ulterior motive bad). But if a guy doesnt want to fuck you or is self-reflective about this I dont see why not. While I agree that you should always keep your guard up regarding this with male acquaintances I don’t think blanket statements like this are really useful to anyone.

No. 316828

A guy who doesn't want to fuck you also doesn't want to be your "friend". Men don't care about friendship with women at all and if you believe they do then you are delusional.

No. 316833

no need to be so rude in the relationship advice thread anon, some women have different experiences and viewpoints and thus different advice than you. I don’t run around and call you delusional for pretending to know everything either.

No. 316860

My best is a guy and he definitely doesn't want to fuck me, same with all my gay friends lol.
>inb4 you're delusional or naive or whatever
He's not attracted to me at all, I would have known by then.

No. 316861

I've been dating this girl for 3 months now. Everything is going well but something is bothering me: I lied to her about my past history. I told her that I broke up with my ex 4 months ago when in reality I broke up the day before I met her. Should I tell her? I love her so much and I don't want this stupid lie to ruin what we have

No. 316862

Try offering him no strings attatched sex and see how you are wrong. Also lol @ you being a faghag, that's even worse. Gay men fucking hate women and your gay "friends" will actively manipulate every relationship you will ever have just for fun and out of jealousy that they can't get a straight man. Plus probably laugh behind your back about your clothes being ugly any time you leave the room.

No. 316864

Kek I knew I was going to get this kind of reply but whatever, you know nothing about me or anybody else in this thread, keep on seething.

No. 316873

Keep being a pickme for scrotes who don't give a fuck about you and see how it works out. All of us were young and naive about men once, you'll eventually arrive at the same conclusions.

No. 316874

He only doesn’t wanna fuck you if you’re ugly as sin. Self own

No. 316875

File: 1678802100590.png (31.19 KB, 454x258, morpheus.png)

>I love her so much and I don't want this stupid lie to ruin what we have
Now you give her the blue pill, her story ends, she wakes up in bed with you, knowing that you broke up in December 2021
You give her the red pill, she wakes up in bed with you, knowing that you broke up with the guy one day before you started dating, and she gets to decide where her story goes after this
Do you want to know what she will do when she knows the truth?

No. 316879

I swear to god that anon posts solely itt to hate on scrotes. Probably the same one crying every other day on /ot/ about straight women in relationships lol

No. 316883

what do i do if i think i might like women while dating a man?

No. 316900

My first relationship was the worst experience of my life and I'm still struggling with the aftermath including a fear of commitment. I'm currently in a relationship and I'm having a bit of anxiety about it. How possible is it that it's my fear of commitment vs me not actually being that into this person?

No. 316904

Is this your first relationship after the toxic one? A healthy relationship after an abusive one can be really terrifying. Sadly a safe environment can be more triggering than an abusive one in a lot of ways. Are there concrete things your new partner does that your old partner did? Can you talk to them about this?

No. 316916

The sooner you come clean the better. You must have had your reasons, explain that too her, explain how much it weighted on you, how you care for her and your relationship and promise you would never lie again. Hopefully she sees you explaining this as a proof that you're serious about this relationship and really don't want anything mess it up. I think I would react positively to someone being so proactive with being honest about every detail even if it's something you totally could continue keeping hidden. Your need to set things straight feels reassuring to me. Once again, to me, we don't know how will she react.

No. 316924

1. break up with moid and get gf
2. cheat on moid
3. try to ignore the attraction to women, or at least project it onto a waifu or something
4. (worst option) ask moid about a threesome and go unicorn hunting. Threesomes are a major catalyst for relationship drama, and all the bi women looking for normal relationships will hate you.

No. 316987

Hi nonnas, I'm kind of an autist so bear with me.

Four years ago I met my current best friend on some weird online forum (not this one) and after a bit of talking we started to get really close. She would flirt with me, but stopped doing that when we realized that there was an awkward age gap between us (16 and 19 at the time). We'd keep it pretty normal after that, but against my will I found myself catching feelings and then eventually falling in love with her. During the years I've had a couple breakdowns because I liked her too much and couldn't handle it. She'd always give kind of a non-answer, like reassuring me that she doesn't find me gross or anything but has never outright rejected nor accepted my feelings either.

We're pretty much on opposite spectrums when it comes to personality, but we've practically melded into one being by now. We spend all day talking to eachother over text or the phone, she knows some of my dark secrets that I'd never tell to anyone else, and she's in my head basically 24/7. I used to think the codependency was just on my side, but she isn't this close to anyone else either and has done shit like unintentionally saying my name in the store or something to get my opinion. She's usually kind of a bitch sometimes around others but turns into the sweetest person I know. She sends me good morning/night texts every single day with heart emojis.

I've tried to just give up and cut contact for a while a few times, but she's always pulled me back. Our friends joke about us being a married couple all the time and she wants me to move in with her once I'm able to do so. Am I delusional in thinking that I have a chance? She's never been in a relationship in her life and has told me that she's crushed on maybe like two people at most.

No. 317114

Unless you think you're exclusively gay, I don't see what it is that you think you should do. Don't feel guilty about being turned on by women, I guess?

There's also experimenting but that's inadvisable if you're a strictly monogamous couple.

No. 317124

I don't know if you have a chance, but it sounds like turning this into a romantic relationship would be really unhealthy. Living together and being romantic will add new issues to your relationship (sex, mundane things like chores and your respective schedules, future life plans), you'll find you disagree on certain things, dislike some habits in the other, have arguments… If you're already this co-dependent, how will you handle getting into arguments, or possibly breaking up?
I also think her not giving a clear response to your feelings is weird, regardless of how she feels. Wouldn't you want to be clear with your best friend, especially if the uncertainty is causing her anguish?

No. 317141

I sent friend request to a guy that I'm interested in. He's not my crush or anything I'm just trying to get to know him that's it.
He accepted the request and then I sent him hi he saw it but ignored it and now I sent him another hi message. Should I sent a message again if he doesn't reply?

No. 317142

No definitely do not send another, if they accepted the friend request but ignored the message they're either extremely forgetful and will be shit at conversing or they do not want to talk and were just being polite

No. 317144

sorry maybe I'm autistic as well but it's unclear if you actually confessed to her. you said
>I've had a couple breakdowns because I liked her too much and couldn't handle it.
and she was there for those? that's probably overwhelming for her. it's actually hard to accept someones feeling when they're freaking out at you about them. bottling up your feeling and exploding isn't a good way to woo someone.
when you are in a clear stable state of mind and have your emotions under control, tell her plainly how you feel and ask for a direct answer from her and tell her obviously you would be thrilled if she reciprocated but it's also important that she reject you clearly if she's not romantically interested.

No. 317148

Nah, if he's not scrambling to reply to you, don't bother.

No. 317166

>will be shit at conversing
you're telling that to someone who sent 'hi' lmao

No. 317456

My boyfriend is so lazy and he finally got a job but he tried not going in twice already and he just started there I love him but his laziness is starting to annoy me

No. 317647

Is this a serious question? There's no clear cut answer here at all. You could:

1.) Break up with your current partner if you don't think things are working out and try dating women instead
2.) Keep dating current partner and explore your attraction to women in a way that doesn't involve cheating
3.) Tell current partner you might be interested in women and see if he's down for an open relationship or a threeway

No. 317692

Everyone says communication is the key to a relationship, but I've stopped communicating with scrotes at this point. They never will understand, they'll apologise once and be like "you happy now?" They never remember, they don't even know or want to comprehend what they did wrong, or they're just too fucking stupid to understand to begin with.

No. 317698

I am actually losing my mind over this right now. The solution is so easy and simple and the return is so high but he is incapable or unwilling, I’m dumbfounded.

No. 317710

This guy I’m seeing said he won’t cheat as long as I keep him in a tight leash… and I control him basically…… in an “I give you permission” way…. Just, why? I don’t want that kind of faithfulness. Is it too much to want a guy to be faithful out of his own accord? Am I dumb to be put off?

No. 317711

I can't say for certain but to me it sounds like he's essentially deliberately turning his faithfulness into your responsibility so he can't be held responsible should he cheat. I'd be careful, weird shit.

No. 317718

So I tell my moid that I'm severely struggling and am going to take a break from most of my friendships and relationships to focus on myself and figuring myself out for a few weeks.
He agrees, supports me and lets me be, hoping I come out of it better.
Just a week in, he texts me implying he wants to end it and the message is laced with manipulation. He says "'Stay'. If that's what you want me to say, you're wrong." Like I wasn't expecting him to say anything, I wasn't even planning to leave him to begin with. Putting words in my mouth, I guess.
Then he hits me with a "our relationship meant nothing to me" as if I planned to say I was permanently ditching him.
Idk nonnas I feel absolutely sick right now. I hate men they're so stupid and pathetic oh my god

No. 317719

He sounds like he has kinks he wants to bring up, but maybe I'm reading this wrong. He could just be a whore.

No. 317720

I don't think I need a bf I think I just need a friend.

No. 317721

That's a retarded thing to say, I wouldn't tolerate it. You need to next him unless caring for a manchild is your thing ofc. What other things are you gonna have to take charge of in his life??

>Is it too much to want a guy to be faithful out of his own accord?

It's possible, first step is dump this one

No. 317724

I’m so sorry nona. He sounds very immature, the way he’s imagining what you would say as if to get in the final word before you even have the chance to talk with him. Saying your relationship meant nothing to him is just so unnecessary cruel and it’s such a shitty way to break up with someone. It sounds like you dodged a bullet tbh, but I understand how hurtful this must be for you.

No. 317730

I should be fine. I think it's a weak and pathetic way to try and hurt me just because he's scared I'm ditching him or something, because I know he's coping hard. I know it did mean something to him. After all, if it genuinely didn't, why would he say something like that? Oh well. I'll be fine, I think.

No. 317743

>am going to take a break from most of my friendships and relationships to focus on myself and figuring myself out for a few weeks
What? What's wrong with saying "I just need some more time to myself"? Saying you need a break from all your relationships sounds overly dramatic, attention-seeking, and like you are about to dip out. If the situation was reversed a man did this everyone would think he's an avoidant bitch baby.

No. 317744

looking back on it i probably said it to rationalise it to him in a way. if i'd said "i need time to myself" i think subconsciously i knew he would throw a tantrum over that now that i think about it

No. 317745

>and like you are about to dip out
This, in the reverse situation I think we'd be on the verge of breaking up

No. 317756

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No. 317760

No. 317765

That’s how I understood it at first too. I still think he must have some kinda fetish for controlling women, or in the least gives him an ego boost.

No. 317799

Nta but I think it's a fetish for dom women but he also has a fetish for cheating as well so I'd be cautious. Men like him who want you to be jealous are usually losers who wouldn't be able to find anyone if they wanted to cheat anyways, kek.

No. 317846

I must have misread her post because i thought he "gave her permission" to cheat but meant he wouldn't cheat if she kept a tight leash on him. I think my interpretation makes less sense but it's what I got…

No. 317915

I noticed my boyfriend referred to me as his fiancee to his friend he recently caught up with. We're not engaged yet. He'll sometimes refer to me as his wife to his day to day friends and my friends, they know we're not married, but the fiance thing caught my eye. Is there anything I should take away from this or is this some subconscious male socialization technique to compete with each other?

No. 317918

I guess he wants to brag about having a fiance without actually making the effort to propose to you. Maybe he hopes he can just meme it into existence by calling you his fiance like "haha we are basically married already" so he doesn't have to take the risk to ask you/doesn't have to spend time and money to be actually thoughtful.

No. 317925

So I've been with my boyfriend for a while. He has a lot of rare qualities for a guy.
>Doesn't watch or support porn. More for "it will rot your brain" reasons, but I'll take it. Avoids movies with rape.
>Not into hookups, isn't a hoe and hasn't slept around.
>Likes spoiling me in different ways, giving massages, buying me things, and cooking and cleaning for me.
>Supports my interests and we have some things in common too.
The only thing is that he's…kinda retarded. He's just dumb and for being as old as he is (in his 30s), he doesn't have a lot of knowledge about life skills or adult things. He seems sheltered and was held back by immigrant parents, so maybe that's partially why? But it gets really annoying explaining things to him that he as a grown man should know. When I talked to him about this, it made him really upset and his exes dumped him for similar reasons apparently.
I also think he's possibly undiagnosed autistic. He doesn't have much emotional intelligence and doesn't show a lot of empathy (maybe I got used to my last ex being like a therapist and comforting me).
I feel like I got a mostly good thing going on, I do love him, but sometimes being the "guide" and "teacher" gets on my nerves. Also that he doesn't know how to comfort me when I'm upset, he sometimes gives good advice but I can't always expect him to console me when I come to him with my troubles. I guess this is better than dating some intelligent coomer asshole.
Maybe I just have too high of expectations as a straight woman? I do have very high standards and am a bit of a perfectionist, so maybe I need to be more patient and focus on the good. The chances of finding another man with his set of morals is slim to none.

No. 317930

I can't speak to the male social angle (we probably need a resident crypto-moid to answer that) but I used to do this with my boyfriend before we actually got married because some people honestly don't take "boyfriend" seriously at work and still tried to flirt until I switched to "fiancé" or "husband". just made my life easier and was a great social blocker for any flirtatiousness. we'd been together for years at that point though.

No. 317932

I don't have too much advice here anon other than I ..strangely relate? Now I don't think my boyfriend is ..dumb per-se but ignorant, and he's diagnosed autistic (that's fine with me, I'm adhd and have some 'tism' habits).

I think the only thing I've done is lay off the "guiding" aspect and have simply responded "I don't know/don't how to answer that" when he's looking at me expectantly.
But yeah, I get it. Don't wanna give up the moral setting but don't wanna feel like you're settling, also with a hint of "am I asking for too much?"

No. 317957

this is a red flag imo. men who want to call their gf fiancee or wife without putting the ring on it tend to cheat, future-fake or (usually) both.

No. 317981

This sounds like it would be incredibly grating long term tbh. Men who can't do things by themselves are a huge turn off.

No. 318016

I'm so sick of dating men. I've yet to meet one who doesn't think I'm some kind of commodity for being a bi woman. Either their lesbian porn fetish kicks in, or they're a bi moid and probably will cheat with a man two weeks into the relationship because he's "bored".

No. 318092

File: 1679523914998.jpg (19.03 KB, 620x349, 46464684.jpg)

Anons, how do you usually get over an unrequited crush?

No. 318094

Try not to take it too personally, I guess. It sucks when somebody doesn't return your feelings (you didn't specify whether they know about your crush or not, but it still applies either way). Just move on with your life, throw yourself into things that make you happy. Know that it's not necessarily something inherently wrong with you, they might just not see you that way.
Think about it, there's probably people who have had unrequited crushes towards you, what would you want them to do? Probably just move on with their lives, it happens.
Yeah it hurts, but try not to get sucked into the negative feeling vortex, that doesn't help anyone. Distract yourself, focus on things that make you happy. Don't blame them, but also don't blame yourself.
These feelings will pass.

No. 318096

It's the switch to "fiancee" that's a major fucking tell. Absolutely sus af.

No. 318103

I actually don't know if the crush is requited or not but he's my boss and off-limits, so I'm treating it that way lol.

>Think about it, there's probably people who have had unrequited crushes towards you, what would you want them to do? Probably just move on with their lives, it happens.

That's a really good point anon, ty.

No. 318111

>Think about it, there's probably people who have had unrequited crushes towards you
kek no fucking way, I'm ugly as sin

No. 318114

Beauty is subjective, anon, I'm sure at some point someone was attracted to you even if you were unaware of it, and even if you don't see yourself that way.

No. 318159

I have a crush on you nona

No. 318170

this is a super minor issue but i'm too autistic to know how to bring it up properly.
my boyfriend was a perfect kisser for around 2 years, would literally make me feel like i was flying. recently in the past couple months he sometimes uses WAY too much saliva to the point where it turns me off. i'm not sure if he just gets carried away or what. i'm trying to figure out a way to bring it up besides nonsubtly wiping my mouth whenever he ends up slobbering, but whatever way i draft up in my head to ask him to please just go back to how he would kiss me before seems extremely blunt and rude. it's not like he does this all the time, just occasionally so i don't want him to feel really bad about it.

No. 318173

Just be honest, he's an adult man, he can handle it.

No. 318182

File: 1679590705303.jpg (47.97 KB, 470x706, Bane_TDKR3.jpg)

For you

No. 318223

you're right, i think i'm overthinking it!

No. 318327

File: 1679696927249.jpg (18.64 KB, 735x647, 46a879c9f705bd2fc094af54b795b4…)

How do you flirt over DMs? Specifically with a woman? Specifically with a woman who may be on the spectrum?
I have always been incapable of it, instead opting to just confess and hope for the best. I compliment the things I like about her, but don't want to be a creep in case she isn't feeling it like I am.

No. 318351

My boyfriend is kind of a baby and idk how to be nicer. He’s an only child with allergies and prone to getting sick, with a mom that coddles him so I think he expects me to drop everything if he says he has a headache, or if we’re dealing with similar stresses it’s somehow always worse for him. The whole constantly feeling sick, stressed or tired and expecting me to be sensitive or to fawn over him every time has gotten to the point where it just makes me angry- I don’t tell him every single time I have a headache or need a nap because I’m an adult. I also want to clarify I have taken care of him and I’m patient and supportive when he’s actually ill, or needs help with stuff. I don’t view this as a relationship ender, I just don’t know how to get over the frustration. I feel like it’s happening because a. it is actually annoying and b. I’ve been having a really difficult time with work and other personal stuff, and it feels like whenever I try to get support it turns into him saying why he needs support and I just feel shut down. I know it’s a two way street to show support and we can both have problems at the same time that need attention, but I’m tired of my issues being minimized or glazed over (especially when frankly, I’m dealing with more than him right now) because he didn’t get enough sleep and his headache is bad. I love him very much, we’ve been together for a year and a half, and he IS supportive and kind but I’ve just been so frustrated with the frequency of it lately and I don’t want it to fester

No. 318361

I mean, the issue isn’t that you need to be nicer. I’m not gonna say you should dump him but he’s the problem here. My bf in high school acted similarly literally as soon as we started dating, like me being his gf even if only for a week meant I should listen to him vent every single day. It’s honestly a fundamental difference in how you two see relationships. It’s not something he’ll fix without you telling him directly and even then, he might just dismiss what you say. The worst thing you could do is let him keep treating you like this.

No. 318366

I mean have you just told him? He can't fix his behaviour if he doesn't know any better when he was raised that way. It's difficult to self-reflect on behaviours/habits you grew up with as normal. Tell him and give him the opportunity to improve his behaviour.

No. 318367

>I don’t view this as a relationship ender
It kinda is. He should know his place and e doing everything to support you. But anyway, have you talked to him about it? If he gets defensive then it definitely is a relationship ender.

No. 318373

Mommies boys are the fucking worst.

No. 318378

So I go on a date with a moid and he mentions he likes to work out in his free time so I say "yeah me too He says I shouldn't worry about the pain of working out because "you work out to lose weight, right?"
Then he mentions previous girls he's been with have starved themselves and he "liked their dedication" so I should just starve myself because it's "better than working out".
Maybe I'm too autistic but what's the chance this guy fetishises anorexics?

No. 318379

How did you not make a face of disgust and walk out right then?

No. 318380

Because I'm autistic as fuck kek
In seriousness, I'm not sure. I think subconsciously I felt like if I did, something bad was going to happen. Too bad we only realise our gut feelings were right after the event happens or ends.

No. 318386

Thoughts and prayers to all my nonnies out there having to date current year moids. Whenever I get mildly annoyed at my bf I remember the shit some of you have to put up with and the absolute porn addicted trash that is 99% of men.

No. 318387

I haven’t talked to him about it, and I think he would get extremely offended and go the route of saying I’m being selfish and mean, and don’t care about his thoughts and feelings. I’ve been pushing back when he does the comparison thing or diverts to how his headaches are in the same category by just doing a flat “that stinks” then moving along the conversation. There was one time when he said preparing for a trip was hard and I was being ungrateful and I pushed back and said “I’ve done this trip alone for you twice, and did all of the things you did on top of what’s going on in my personal life, I’m not getting into a contest over who has it worse” and he said actually he does have it worse because of meal prep and was upset I didn’t see that. I feel like he thinks if I do things with less complaining or get it done, he thinks I had an easier time with it.

She’s also insane, has made him anxious and afraid of everything, and leans on him for stuff like he’s her husband. I’m starting to realize this is the bigger issue/root. Since we’ve been together he’s been realizing more and more that she does things that are really odd/controlling and he has loosened up a bit as he realizes I do things differently and I’m fine, and that I flat out refuse to be told to do things a different way just because it’s what he’s used to. I feel like I can’t force these realizations or he’ll get freaked and defensive. She refuses to have spinach in the house because it all has Ebola. No raw meat allowed to be stored in the house, so all meat is cooked unseasoned immediately then stored for later.

sorry to lose it a bit, I love him and I’m literally about to text him to make something together and then play a game when I’m done cleaning, it’s just that sometimes the above 10% of the time stuff gets overwhelming enough that it overshadows the 90% good.

No. 318389

Maybe it's excuses, but I think my boyfriend's autism is making it difficult to communicate with him. I have the most difficult time initiating sex with him. I'll go on for multiple days attempting to give him hints with deeper kisses throughout the day and respond to his sex jokes he usually makes with answers that say I want us to have sex or complement him more than usual. When we go to bed, I cuddle with him and rub his shoulders and back for longer periods of time. Usually I'm just met with him readjusting himself to go to sleep if he's not snoring already. I basically demand him to give me back rubs and cuddle me hoping he'd do something, but he still ends up sleeping. It's to the point where I end up waking him up telling him I'm horny while sniffing and in tears after almost a week of trying and realizing it's not going to happen unless I actually say it. I feel I'm burdening him for telling him I want us to have sex. I just want it to happen naturally and I don't want to force it on him.

No. 318392

He is autistic, so you have to compromise a bit and just be straight up with him. Have a honest conversation about how you can initiate sex easier, if you both have to just say it in plain words, then you can try slowly building up chemistry once you’re both aware. But also, you shouldn’t feel like you’re burdening him, or forcing him to do anything by saying you want to have sex. Of course he can decline whenever he wants, but is he even getting hard most of the time while you’re making out and stuff? Does he ask for sex randomly? Because you make it sound like he’s not reciprocating your feelings at all, and he only has sex when YOU ask. Again have a conversation about what he wants, what you want, and how you can both be satisfied. Maybe there’s deeper issues here that need to be addressed, you just have to be honest about it and not leave anything up for assumption.

No. 318393

You sound like a loser. If you want sex, push him down and initiate. Dropping hints is juvenile behavior. If you want something take it instead of passively waiting for him to "allow" you to have sex. And if you're the type that needs for him to initiate every time to feel "wanted" or whatever, then tell him that directly. Tell him to initiate more and make you feel sexy and wanted and desired. Either take action or speak your mind.

No. 318395

One day he'll have to clean baby vomit regardless of whether he has the biggest headache or fever in his life. Tell him he'd make a shit father and nobody would want to be his child
He is the literal opposite of my dad, who will always try to not burden us if he's in pain, I love my dad

No. 318396

He initiates sex as well, but it's usually once every other week, he'll do it by kissing me deeper, which is why I try to do the same with him. Right now it's more difficult because work is stressing me out, I've been doing essentially 12 hour days for almost half a year and recently it's been catching up to me where I feel like a shell of a person and cry almost every other day because of things coming up at work and I just want to be able to feel special once I'm out of work by being able to lean on his shoulder and have him take care of me during this time. Thankfully, I'm about to change jobs, so hopefully my confidence boosts, but I'm fully aware I need to be more direct. Just right now I'm really at the bottom.

No. 318397

>I don't want to force it on him
OK but is telling him you want to have sex the same as forcing him? No. Sucks but if you want to date an austist you'll always have to take his autistic perspective into consideration and often be the one who has to adapt to him while and accept that he either won't be able to do the same for you or it'll take a lot of initiative and energy from your side to get him to understand your perspective.

Being passive aggressive and indirect about your problem with him isn't going to solve anything and only cause more friction. If you genuinely can't address a problem like mature adults because that leads him to insulting you and turning you into the problem then maybe that should tell you something?

No. 318399

That's fair. I am usually a pretty direct person especially when I'm upset or need something specific, and we communicate well for other stuff, but with this I just feel kind of lost. I don't think it will be received well but I need to figure out how to say it without it sounding dismissive or letting him say I'm minimizing him.

No. 318400

I keep waiting for my boyfriend to buy me a horse. I keep liking pictures of horses on Instagram and I started making him carry me around on his back while I hit him with the riding crop. I also quietly neigh and whinny and then do a big sigh. I bought a horse calender and hung it up on the wall and every day I stare at it when he's around and say "wow those sure are some nice horses…" He hasn't picked up on any of my hints. I cry myself to sleep every night thinking of the horse I could be riding but yet I am not because my bf is too dumb to pick up on all my obvious hints. What do I do to make it more obvious I NEED a horse?

No. 318401

I have consistent anxiety that I'm going to lose feelings. I'm not sure if it's actually ever happened, but in the case I do, what would it be? Some trauma/attachment issue thing, or maybe the person wasn't good for me? How can you differentiate between those two events?

No. 318402

Just say it outright, it's not that hard to communicate if you trust him.

No. 318404

I know what you're doing and kek

No. 318405

Damn that's genius! Why didn't I think of that?!

No. 318408

If you lose feelings there's probably a good reason for that. It usually doesn't come out of nowhere

No. 318410

Have you tried keeping more apples and carrots in the house so he knows you'll be responsible and take care of it?

No. 318415

tfw no bf to ride like a horse and slap with a riding crop

No. 318426

Sorry to react like a retard but fuck i hate so much when people sexualize horse riding, when I was 12 going to the stables some adult scrotes in the construction site on the way would always whistle at me and say things like that I should slap my little ass with the crop for their entertainment, I still remember running to the stable and crying. Why must everything be so sexual, let things be

No. 318427

I never want to date again. I'm attracted to men but just don't have the energy or will or desire to date. The most I am ever willing to do is flirt.

So many risks in dating, physical and mental, just for some pathetic man. I don't even want to get married or have kids, and I hate living with people. Also I'm disgusted by sex and the idea of having to fuck a man at least weekly for the rest of my life makes me want to die. I'd rather read fanfic and live life how I want without being bothered.

Unfortunately my family thinks I'm stupid and I need to find someone to build a life with. Build towards what exactly idk.

No. 318435

Found out my bf simped for "Nyanners" back when she was famous on imageboards. Didn't she cater exclusively to pedophiles?

No. 318436

Yep lol. Time for a new boyfriend

No. 318440

Can you enlighten me a little bit more since I know nothing about her? Did she post nudes like other chan-girls? Did she look underaged?

No. 318441

NTA but she was well known for a song she made/sung called pomf pomf and it's some pedo incest "onii-chan what are we gonna do on the bed?" shit

No. 318445

File: 1679781141570.jpeg (290.05 KB, 2542x2048, 1662170956339.jpeg)

I hate men so much it's unreal. There is no point in having a relationship with a man because men are incapable of love the same way women are. Men will forever be wishing that they could be sticking their dicks into other women even if you fuck them every day, stay in shape, do everything in the bedroom and are just all around the biggest pickme. It's literally never enough, a man will never give you his full love and attention in return, he will still look at other women cause they are novel.

On top of that men will take you for granted as soon as he has trapped you in a relationship. They will stop buying flowers, complimenting you, taking care of their appearance, taking you out on dates, buying you gifts etc but they will stilp expect you to want to fuck them like a wild sexkitten despite them putting in zero effort.

Men will also always lie to you. Not just about their actions but also about their morals and believes. Everything a man says is to appease you and make you like him enough to give him sex and then after that to keep the peace and continue to give him sex. Your man tells you that he things porn is bad and he would never watch it? PLEASE, you can not be that stupid. Of course he's still watching and waiting for you to leave the house so he can jerk off. Men will literally look out the window to see if you are gone so they can beat their dicks raw in peace and then when their sexual performance tanks YOU will feel guilty for it. Like it's your fault he doesn't find you attractive anymore. No, it's cause he can't save his lust for you, cause he's an ape and a slave of his penis. Men are animals. Don't ever expect humanity from them. They see a woman's behind and they want to mount it like an ape in heat and you really think that guy is your soulmate? He's worth any second of your time?

Men ain't worth shit.

No. 318448

That's the ultimate blackpill that the wast majority of women can't swallow. Men are predators, they will always look after newer, younger, weaker models because that's what they're designed to do. Men of any age, even 70 year scrotes, will always find women aged 18-25 the most attractive. Men will talk about muh tradition and how we should go back to traditional family values and society and enforced monogamy and then, when they think they're only heard by other men, they will admit that it was always normal for men to cheat on their plain, boring wives with prostitutes. I heard it myself. They want trad wives for cooking, cleaning and breeding, and prostitutes for sex. That's male nature. Look, I am physically attracted to men, and I wish they were different and I could have a healthy relationship, but I know it's not possible and I'm so sick of women who, despite having access to all the knowledge, still look for their unicorn or defend men all the time. Give them children, time, resources, their youth. All for nothing. He will still think about fucking all the hot young chicks he sees while you change the diapers kek. Also, don't forget a man is 8 times more likely to leave a woman if she gets diagnosed with cancer than vice versa. In a case something happens to you, you're fucked. Men can't truly love.

No. 318457

pretty much. this is why i dont bother wasting my time with real m*n, they arent even worth it 96% of the time.

No. 318462

Yup, this. Especially the part about how the morals he professes are just the ones that will get you to fuck him. It’s 100% true. I have to keep from cackling out loud at all the women who claim their bfs are anti-porn, especially when they brought it up to him first. Of course he’s going to agree with you, dumbass. And then they’re always surprised when they find out he’s been jacking it to Barely Legal Teen’s Rough Anal Extravaganza. How could I have known?!?!?! I don’t know, maybe listen to us the first 30 times we tried to tell you instead of saying we just don’t understand how special YOUR Nigel is.

No. 318469

Yeah men have no moral values at all. Not even just about porn. They always project on women that women shape their personality after the men they are dating, when that's really what THEY do. Because men have no empathy or moral values whatsoever outside of "what benefits me and my penis at the moment is good" they will always pretend to adopt the values of the woman they are currently with in order to recieve her approval. And they don't practise anything they preach. Men are actually desperate for womens approval since they all have mommy issues. Then if that relationship fails or if they so much as have a fight with that woman they will then immediately betray those moral values they supposedly had.

The only reason men want a nuclear family is because they know that a woman tied to them through kids is forced to keep taking care of them and has a harder time leaving them if they act like a moron or cheat on her (irl or by watching porn) because the woman doesn't want to destroy the family because of the kids. Men are the only ones who benefit from marriage. They live longer and happier married while women live longer and happier single.

No. 318471

The reason relationships with men don't work is because men always want what they don't have. If they have you then you become boring. They are so used to clicking on whatever fetish porn category caters to the whim of their dick at the moment that they are conditioned to require constant novelty. That's why a woman in yoga pants at the grocery store will always be more interesting than their wife. They constantly seek to see new women naked and to conquer her with their penis. What they have at home is boring because like toddlers they already played with it so it's boring and they are allowed to play with it so its double boring. You can literally try to reinvent yourself and your look a million times for your man and he will always thirst for women who are not you. And yet men claim to "love" you, when their penis absolutely can not love and is the main thing in control of their life.

All the ranting men do about women being "emotional" because of periods is projection. A man literally can not focus on work if he is horny. They need to jack off constantly to even be able to think clearly because thoughts about sex rule their entire life. I am absolutely convinced that even men in the most happiest relationship would 100% cheat on their partner if they are promised that they will get away with it.

No. 318472

File: 1679800786083.jpeg (121.01 KB, 639x1156, 6192ABD3-ED5C-4325-A89C-EB444F…)

Yeah, not to mention that even when they’re focused on you, they don’t actually love you. You’re just most convenient or exciting at that moment. Picrel (1/2)

No. 318473

File: 1679800845801.jpeg (125.1 KB, 638x1152, F308E0BD-F3C3-42E5-8C72-940035…)

Vs. what their girlfriends say (2/2)

No. 318475

I wonder how many men even think about their gf/wife while having sex with her and how many are just replaying porn they watched in their head. Whenever my bf closes his eyes during sex I think that he's probably elsewhere with his thoughts or imagining me to be someone else. I bet if you polled men anonymously it would be the majority, I have read so many men admit shit like this on the internet.

No. 318477

Lol. Reminds me of how I wrote such a sweet and loving Valentine's Day card for my man and even wrote a poem for him (despite being bad at it) and he wrote me one fucking sentence and thought he was the most thoughtful man alive for getting a card at all. Not even flowers or a gift. I ofc got him a very thoughtful gift. God men suck.

No. 318479

Fucking disgusting, I’m sorry nona. I hope you left him. my dad always did the same shit to my mom and plays the victim when she calls him out on it. He also shows no interest in her passions and only spends time with her while watching TV. He also expects his feet to be kissed if he cleans a bathroom once a month. My dad is considered a “good man” too so growing up I was like oh, so this is the best it gets? Count me out.

No. 318481

Ugh, I hate that you’re right. I can’t imagine having such weird disconnected sex with someone, it’s like using their body to masturbate. But that’s normal for them because they don’t feel real love, especially not while horny. They literally just become 100% mindless penis brain. It’s honestly so creepy.

No. 318508

Also, I want to point out to anons that it is indeed possible to detach yourself from attraction men, even if you're not a lesbian or even bi. At first after getting all that blackpill shit, I still thought that maybe one day I will find a man who's different, then I stopped believing that but I still had sexual thoughts about men, despite not engaging with them physically, but after some time, like 2 years, I'm at the point where I have no sexual thoughts about men at all, this realm just doesn't exist for me. I have no anger and no hatred either, the male nature is just something so obvious, like gravity. When you truly understand there's no point in pursuing men sexually and romantically and that they will never see you as an actual human being with thoughts and feelings, the way you see them, it will come naturally. If you're scared of being alone in life, just focus on building a community and gaining resources when you're young.

No. 318510

Eh, good for you but I’ve been blackpilled for several years and it doesn’t make attraction to the male form disappear. The male mind though, yeah. IRL celibacy with an unrealistically perfect fictional crush is the way I operate and it works excellent.

No. 318512

I think I had it easier because I never actually had sex with men because I wanted to "save my virginity for someone uwu special" and then the blackpill hit. Maybe I just can't imagine what it's like to actually be physically intimate with a guy and liking it and then getting blackpilled, it probably makes it harder to detach

No. 318515

I think /2X/ would be better for this discussion, anon. This is the relationship thread, a relationship doesn't have to involve a man and a lot of anons here are bi/lesbian so your male hatred stuff isn't as relevant as you think it is.
Normal women are very much capable of being celibate, women aren't hungry animals who crave male attention so acting like you're doing a reform by successfully staying single is retarded. Actually a lot of women in western countries where they can afford living on their own choose to stay single or at least unmarried so I'd argue it's a popular choice.
It's usually men who have issues when women don't supply them with relationships and attention because men are entitled.

No. 318516

Realizing that every modern man has seen hundreds of thousands of women naked (and jerked off while imagining sex with them) while they cry about wanting a virgin gf is just peak irony. Honestly this has soured every relationship I ever had. Just knowing how much the man coomed to other women is so gross and those images are stored in his brain forever to recall any time he wants (often while being around you, your family or even children). Men think about sex like every 2 minutes or something.

No. 318519

Not just that they think about porn around your family, they also think about fucking your cousins, your sisters and your mom. Just yesterday I read a post by a moid whining about being married to the "ugliest sister". Men not only want to bang your sisters, they feel entitled to them. Hell the popularity of incest porn shows that they even want to fuck their own family.

I really wish I could be naive like a normie woman and not be blackpilled on men. I really hate growing up on the internet where men anonymously share their darkest thoughts.

No. 318520

I grew up on 4chan and even on the most normal boards, men display how disgusting they are. It ruined my whole view on them.

No. 318522

Same. My first blackpill on men was when I found out rule34 was a thing and men are literally jerking off to children's cartoons like Powerpuff Girls that are in no way meant to be sexual. I could have never even imagined that anyone would want to fuck the animals from my favorite disney cartoons and it tainted all of my childhood memories in hindsight. I hate watching movies with men now because I know every time theres a sex scene my bf might get a boner cause its like hes watching porn right next to me. If he finds an actress attractive he probably looks up if she has had any nudes leaked or done nude scenes. When wr have sex after watching a movie he's probably thinking about her. And you can't even watch just wholesome nonsexual Disney movies with them since they still get a boner to Ariel and her seashell bra. Men spoil everything.

No. 318523

How does the everyday woman (normie/normalfag) cope with this? From what I've read, they say it doesn't matter and that it's his "needs." However, isn't that heartbreaking? How can it be so normalized?

No. 318524

I think that's actually harder because if you never had sex with a man irl then you don't know how bad and disappointing it is, kek. I still remember how disappointed I was when I lost my virginity, it actually made my attraction to men almost disappear cause sex wasn't anything like I imagined it (like that scene in Cruel Intentions with Reese Witherspoon).

No. 318525

They are ignorant and naive about it. They just don't know. I once saw a woman on reddit post about her husband spending 4 hours a day locked in the bathroom with his ipad and she thought he was having bowel issues and was asking for advice on how to make him go to a doctor cause he refused to get his "bowel issues" Treated. She really thought he was in there straining to poo for 4 hours and not jerking off to teen anal rape stepdaughter porn.

No. 318528

I also can't grasp it, my coworker's boyfriend fucked prostitutes before getting serious with her, even though he already knew her at that time, and she's not even concerned if he gave her any STDs, despite constantly getting utis and other intimate infections. Women just don't think about it. My female coworkers were like openly defending men who go to prostitutes and giving me the basic bitch takes about sex being a commodity for some people, and when I said that if sex is just a commodity then rape is nothing more than theft, they got so fucking visibly offended and they didn't know what to say kek. It's not just with normie women, but with normies in general; if you openly say something so against the status quo, they get stunned, like they don't have any programmed script for this particular situation

No. 318529

This, take it to /2X/ or /ot/ or wherever. What advice are you guys looking for exactly?

No. 318530

They just have no idea about how disgusting men really are because normie men hide their degeneracy. Women also tend to project their own innocence, kindness and compassion onto men. They desperately try to find an excuse for men being disgusting and ofc it can't possibly be ALL men. Then their whole world collapses when they find out their bf was watching CP or their dad was watching daddy/daughter porn. I think with time all women get to the point where they are blackpilled because men can't hide their true nature forever, eapecially when you live with them long term, the internet just makes it happen faster.

No. 318531

2X is dead. Just let us vent ffs. It's rough out here.

No. 318532

This is a relationship advice thread, and my advice is to drop your men, I'm not off topic sis

No. 318533

This is a relationship advice thread, and my advice is to drop your men, I'm not off topic sis

No. 318554

It's as active as /g/
You're literally venting about hating men in relationship advice thread, how is that an advice?

No. 318561

If they insist on having the lights on and looking you in the eyes that's a good sign usually.

No. 318562

If they insist on having the lights on and looking you in the eyes that's a good sign usually.

No. 318563

If they insist on having the lights on and looking you in the eyes that's a good sign usually.

No. 318564

If they insist on having the lights on and looking you in the eyes that's a good sign usually.

No. 318587

I am in a point in my relationship where I am just not happy anymore. I want to fix it instead of breaking up but I don't know how. I don't want to go to couples therapy cause I think it's bullshit. Are there any books to read maybe that you know of?

No. 318591

Idk what in particular you're struggling with, but I listened to a lot of psychology books after my last break-up. My ex probably had some undiagnosed cluster B personality disorder, so the books I read were geared towards that. Recommend
>The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel A. Van der Kolk
>Complex PTSD by Pete Walker
>Dearing Greatly by Brené Brown
>Rethinking Narcissism by Dr. Craig Malkin
>Talking to Crazy by Mark Goulston MD

Currently I'm listening to Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton. I realize my choice in literature is reflective of my past relationship and might not be what you're looking for, but I think they gave me a lot of insight in myself, humans and interpersonal relationships in general. Also I think individual and couples therapy can be fruitful if you're both invested in it.

No. 318592

There’s too good to leave, too bad to stay

No. 318610

okay i love my boyfriend very much, he is so so sweet to me, truly the kindest person i know (and his dick game is incredible tbh); in almost every regard our relationship is great. we've been together for two years and have had discussions about building a future together and whatever gay shit, this isn't a problem where i feel like it's worth breaking up about but sometimes it drives me absolutely insane

the problem is that sometimes he is so C R I N G E
he will send me the most boomer humor memes sometimes and i cannot fathom why he still thinks i will respond positively to them? and he's a generally funny dude most of the time so it's even more confusing that occasionally his sense of humor appears to fully leaves his body?? or like sometimes he'll tell these lame stories from high school about how cool everyone thought he was and how many girls wanted to fuck him and i have to physically restrain myself from rolling my eyes

he also just kind of exudes dad energy, i've been begging him to buy shorts that aren't cargo and shoes that aren't gymnasium floor compliant for so long and he says "yes i would love to have a wardrobe that doesn't make your pussy dry would you like to help me pick some things out" and of course i agree and then cut to several days later he proudly announces that he picked out some new clothes on his own and nearly every time it is laughably bad, it's a lateral move at best, and so he continues to look like a dad on vacation

also one time he unironically called blink 182 "classic punk rock" and i laughed so hard at him that it caused a minor argument

No. 318657

the clothing thing i have literally bought my ex clothes because i hated his, and told him to buy things that look like that, or text me if he was shopping so i could help. Men with bad style need hand holding, and tbh in my experience he enjoyed and appreciated the help, thought it was fun and sweet, and was relieved to not be the one making the choices. If you want a style change, you need to do it.

the cringe stuff i think you need to decide if it's mild enough you can overlook it- my boyfriend is so funny but sometimes it's just like a "god you're better than this" response i have and i just realize it's okay because he just missed this time- however i'd be more grossed out about him bragging about girls who wanted to fuck him (esp high school, assuming it's been years), i haven't dealt with that and it's gross and more embarrassing than the other stuff.

No. 318673

He sounds great, you sound kind of like a bitch tho. Just go with him and buy him clothes you want him to wear. I threw out almost all of my bfs clothes and just went to buy new ones with him (obvsly with his money) and now he wears those since he doesn't care at all what he wears.

No. 318680

I need help. I’ve basically been volcel my whole life because men terrify me, and now I’m almost 25 and all I’ve done is kiss one guy when I was like 14. I’ve been asked out a lot, people very frequently compliment me on my appearance, I know I’m generally considered very cute but I’ve never been willing to get involved with men because people also say I look much younger than I am and a lot of the men who were into me were into me because of that. I finally agreed to go on a date with a guy from my work, we have a lot in common and I love his style and everything and I thought I had a bit of a crush on him but the entire time all I was so anxious about whether or not he truly views me as like, an equal, intelligent adult, and I kind of panicked and admitted that I have literally no experience with anything and suddenly I felt like I was a child talking to an adult. I didn’t have this problem when we were just at work, it really felt like our jobs leveled the playing field so to speak when we were talking there, but outside of work I feel constantly reminded that I have like no life experience and I don’t know how he can take me seriously. I think he’s 29 also yes for what it’s worth I am autistic and I didn’t think the age would be a problem because I’m supposed to be a grown ass adult but I just don’t know what to do with myself. I felt like a kid in an adult’s body and on one hand he’s seen me act kind of silly and childish before and he called me cute and on one hand I was glad he didn’t seem to mind but on the other I don’t know if I can trust a man who likes that side of me. Also he tried to kiss me and I panicked and that’s why I had to explain I literally haven’t kissed a guy since I was 14 and he took it very well and didn’t seem upset at all but like I’m so embarrassed I want to die.
What can I do? I was planning on living my entire life celibate and honestly I think I want to stick with that because I just can’t relax around men.

No. 318685

that's the thing is the plan is always "let's go out and do this together this weekend" but then before the weekend comes he decides to handle it himself lmao, i think i'm more frustrated that he won't stick to a plan than i am him buying ugly shit ykwim?

yeah him talking about high school shit is really the biggest turn-off for me, that shit is so embarrassing but i don't know how to tell him that gently

lol again that is the thing, the plan is literally exactly that, he just decides to execute the plan without me. i don't think that i'm "kind of a bitch" bc i'm venting about my boyfriend on an image board my guy, i assure you that i'm not berating my bf because he's wearing pants i don't like. i feel like it's significantly more deranged to throw out your boyfriend's possessions because you don't like them? i didn't say "it's me or the star wars graphic tee buddy"

No. 318687

how old are you guys if he's still talking about high school?

honestly just set a date to go shopping and tell him he can't refuse.

and all men say cringe stuff sometimes even if they otherwise have a good sense of humor lol

No. 318692

I hate when other people don't take me seriously for whatever reason, I've complained in another thread that people younger sometimes talk to me as if I was a child and that's exhausting. As a lifelong volcel too I don't feel I need any kind of romantic relationship with a moid, too much to invest and too much to lose. Also dating a co-worker is a bad idea imo.

No. 318693

You sound 16. Anyway lame humour and a bad fashion sense is a non-issue, you can't like every single thing about your partner, everyone is flawed. He probably has one or two things he doesn't like as much about you. You suck it up and deal with it if you want the perks of a relationship.

No. 318694

i'm 25 too and i can relate to looking much younger (get called anywhere between 13 and 17 daily), but i like it because it means men my age leave me alone and i don't have to get hit on and suffer from anxiety kek

i'm not that experienced either but from what i've found it's best to just not tell men. i'm also celibate because men are pathetic and i prefer reading fanfic than risking stds, pregnancy, and my life if a moid gets violent, all just for subpar dates and forced sex

No. 318697

You just come across kind of stuck up with you acting like you are the ultimate judge of what is funny and what isn't and the comment about blink128, like who cares? Your reasons to be annoyed by him are incredibly petty. He sounds like a good guy and you are nitpicky af. Just buy him some clothes and hand him the receipt so he can pay you back.

No. 318699

Honestly I would be so turned off to be with a guy who acts like my dad and purposefully dresses like trash, I would have no qualms dumping him, I don't care if it makes me look stuck up or whatever.

No. 318700

yeah my ex dressed like trash, constant tracksuits and old tshirts work for every occasion and it was embarrassing. why should i look presentable when he looks musty all the time? shame bc he was so hot and tall, so much potential, ruined by his laziness.

No. 318704

Most men you see who are dressed nice have a woman who buys their clothes or are gay. The only exception to this seem to be middle eastern men who have like a whole beard and beauty routine and bathe in 10 gallons of cologne every day.

No. 318748

Tfw TikTok came pre-installed as an essential app on my bf's first ever smartphone (only ever had a flip phone, got it because of his job). Please kill me. Fuck Samsung

No. 318753

I agree it’s a travesty, but even if his phone is full of bloatware he doesn’t need to use it and can probably uninstall tiktok. My nigel downloaded tiktok for one day then deleted it because he immediately recognized the addiction potential. If your bf has only had a flip phone up until now he’s probably more technology conscious than most of us (unless you live in some forsaken part of the world where flip phones are still the norm).

No. 318754

I agree it’s a travesty, but even if his phone is full of bloatware he doesn’t need to use it and can probably uninstall tiktok. My nigel downloaded tiktok for one day then deleted it because he immediately recognized the addiction potential. If your bf has only had a flip phone up until now he’s probably more technology conscious than most of us (unless you live in some forsaken part of the world where flip phones are still the norm).

No. 319053

Young guys are pretty image-conscious and think a lot about their appearance/clothing/etc., they just don't really have taste.

No. 319109

File: 1680169453339.png (64.01 KB, 559x371, 1677458588335.png)

I've been having great sex and generally intimate NSA hangs with an older guy in my industry. It took him a week to tell me he's had someone for the past few years but he seems pretty unsure and they don't live together. He's kinda giving off that he's probably wanting to leave her. Why else would he weigh the pros and cons and ask someone like me out? The age gap is pretty significant (enough that I don't really want him to be a life partner).
He insists that he'd really like to keep seeing me and stay in touch as I gotta go back home abroad for a few months, make this a long-term thing although "discreet". I really feel like shit about the other woman involved, who he mentioned is a widow, but I also feel like this might be his own moral dilemma here and I'm just enjoying the intimacy I can have with him while I'm here. The lack of PDA is dumb but I can live with it.
Am I/is he a piece of shit who needs to die? Should I take the time to address this clearly with him and say I kinda do worry about her and need him to be honest? We've really been having a relaxed time and I fear stressing out like this is just gonna make him run when finally a moid isn't beating me up/choking me/obviously pornsick. I'd posted about my violent ex on here before (I did leave/no-contact as advised) and it's night and day, so I'd keep in mind part of me may just be holding on to someone treating me unconditionally well even as a fwb.

No. 319110

Come on now

No. 319112

Cut it off if you have a shred of empathy, and have some respect for yourself.

No. 319114

Cut it off if you have a shred of empathy, and have some respect for yourself.

No. 319118

Well, you're not the one who committed to her, so I wouldn't lose sleep over it.

No. 319119

You are being used for easy sex by a man in a relationship. Gross. Love yourself more.

They always claim that they want to break up. He knows you are leaving the country soon so he won't ever have to deal with the aftermath of this affair. If you have a shred of decency you would find out who the woman is and tell her. You'd soon see that everything he is saying to you is a bunch of bullshit

No. 319121

>Vomit inducing world of dirt:
Fucking an old man.
Fucking an old man FOR SELF ESTEEM.
An old man cheating on his partner with a temporary expat who used to get beat up and now has no standards.

Literally being hid in public, so not even some trophy piece of young ass, just an ass.

Role-playing some other woman dilemma while clinging to an old man who’s ashamed of fucking you, as a level up from getting beaten.


No. 319122

I understand that it's difficult to move on from abusive scenarios but this is nothing more than a stepping stone for you and you're actually putting yourself at risk again for abuse by downplaying the potentially negative outcomes just because it feels drastically different in the moment. Obviously this is not a person you can entrust with your feelings, particularly at a vulnerable time. You can and will find someone who appreciates you fully for you, but don't get attached to this rebound that will likely do more harm than good for both you and this other woman

No. 319123

I mean, she likes him because he’s affectionate and she enjoys sex with him. She doesn’t like his cringy taste, holding onto memories/fantasies of female attention in high school and flaking or doing pre-planned stuff without her.

I think anon is being easygoing and reasonable in her posts and she is literally deciding what she can tolerate for a lifelong relationship. You don’t have to go all “HE’S A GOOD GUY!” every time a man is described as sweet before a complaint.

No. 319124

The /g/ girls are another breed, unfortunately

No. 319125

Whats the point if mentioning someone being sweet before explainging how they're actually not sweet but horrible? Female socialisation is a hell of a drug

No. 319127

Nonna, please take some advice from somebody who was once an older man's sidepiece herself, and break off this relationship.
Clearly, the fact that there's another woman to whom he's being dishinest is causing you emotional distress. And no matter how great the sex is, compromising your mental well being is not worth it. If you can't be a ruthless mistress with no morals, don't be one at all. I understand with your past this relationship feels like a breath of fresh air, but I think it's run it's course now, and it's time to move on. See this experience as a conformation that there are men out there willing to love you without beating the shit out of you. This just isn't the right guy for you.
Use those couple of months back home to distance yourself from him. Make this a fond memory to look back on, before things go off the deep end. I believe in you!

No. 319128

Nta but we have a lot of crypto males who regularly post stuff but know how to emulate our styles so they don't get found out. They post about it on 4chan and stuff about how they're proud they regularly post but don't get banned.

No. 319129

He "loves" her romantically but feels excited when he uses you sexually. He knows she won't do the stuff you do as easily and tricking both of you is boosting his ego and turning him on. He doesn't want anything to do with you but he'll keep stringing you along so he can use you, you're a prostitute he doesn't have to pay.

No. 319131

Pick yourself up from the floor I'm begging. It's better to be alone than be side ass for an old man. He's not treating you better than your ex, he's just abusing you in a more palatable way. Take a break from men, you need to when you get out of abusive situations because your guard and self esteem are naturally gonna be on the floor.

No. 319133

She's honestly not even caring about the widowed woman in this situation, she's absolutely disgusting and I doubt she's much different than the cheating and abusive men she associates with. She seems to enjoy teaming up with the abuser instead of being the victim she used to be last time.

No. 319149

What's a nice way of telling a boyfriend you don't want to pay for dates or rent? I feel like most guys want to go 50/50 on everything. This guy I've been spending time with seems to expect me to pay half for things moving forward. I like him a lot, but I just don't want to, and it would make me feel less appreciated. I don't know how to tell him these things without sounding shallow and cruel.

No. 319150

What kind of dumb ass take is this

No. 319151

Don't tell him, just don't offer to pay.

No. 319153

Jesus I heard about the widowed woman literally yesterday, which is why I was feeling shitty enough to pause right there, not talk to him until I'd feel clear enough about it and take a decision. I'm not gonna detail my past to you but calling a woman who's been though abuse "not much different" than her abusers when just knowing a vague situation is a weird fucking take.

Bottom line - this was my worry, that just getting out of a terrible relationship, I'd have my guard down the second someone shows basic decency to me within intimacy, nsa or not. I'm calling him this morning and either he tells her, or I can't be this person ethically, morally, for my own peace of mind either. It /is/ setting me up in a very vulnerable position I don't want to be in and I'm afraid there's gonna be no winning. I don't wanna be on anyone's shitlist for messing up an 8+ years relationship because it wasn't disclosed to me beforehand.
Thanks for the reality check though. I thought I'd become better with respecting myself but I see none of it. I'm not showing myself the love and respect I deserve with these types of relationships.

No. 319156

tbh nonnie you shouldn't have to ask. he should just do it on his own. my current nigel never asked me he just took the receipt and paid, and would argue with me if i tried to pay when i went through my 50/50 pickme phase. i've had another guy want to ask me out but according to some girl he was waiting until he had more money as he was "too broke to take me out". if your nigel doesn't have that energy he isn't worth it.
really random but I'm curious. i've only dated hispanic men who already have that traditional "take care of your woman" mindset drilled into him. I feel like the 50/50 nonsense is more common in white men. nonnies who date white guys is it true? I had a girl friend who always went after white guys and they were always splitting bills.

No. 319162

NTA I think it's more of a western/westernized man in general thing, men using "gender equality" as an excuse to be lazy and stingy.

No. 319168

In my experience Scandinavian men would rather die than pay.

No. 319170

Anon is letting an old man cheat on a widowed lady and use her as a sex object, she's as bad as him, not worse but definitely as bad and she has no contempt for her amd doesn't care about her simply because she finally found a man that can fuck her without feeling the need to beat her up to stay hard.

No. 319171

You don't deserve love or respect, you let an ugly old man fuck you just for personal gain. You deserve mental help if anything. You're unlovable because of your shitty personality and you'll only pull abusive men who will take advantage of you unless you work on yourself.

No. 319172

You deserve reading comprehension skills and less retarded assumptions.

No. 319173

Lmao why? Because I don't think a woman who's totally fine with helping a man cheat is unworthy of love? If she was worthy of love, she wouldn't be chasing after old taken men and justifying it saying it's fine because she's not the one getting abused this time. A normal woman knows that's wrong and doesn't have to get ten different opinions before stopping.
Btw, if you're that anon, please get a STD check, if he fucked someone like you, he probably uses any available hole. Hope you didn't get chlamydia or hpv.

No. 319181

good point
cringe (at scandinavian men) it seems like the most "progressive" places are filled with loser men. and then if you get a guy that did grow up around a traditional culture, you have to gamble and pray he didn't adopt the wifebeating/cheating part of it as well.

No. 319182

I’m Scandi and I think it’s a foreign concept to us because women are expected earn equal to men. It’s not always the case in practise, mainly because women are more likely to work part-time, but generally speaking I think we have come far in terms of equal pay which imo defeats the purpose of men providing for women. I think it’s ok if the guy earns significantly more, or expects the woman to look a certain way that cost money to keep up, but personally I enjoy being capable of holding my own. If a guy wants to treat me I appreciate it for sure, it happens, but I don’t expect a moid to provide for me because I'm not a tradwife lol. I think splitting bills proportionally makes sense though, but me and my nigel have roughly the same income.

No. 319183

I'm not Scandinavian but I agree with this, I like being financially independent and a man paying for literally everything would be a huge turnoff, it would make me feel like some kind of trophy wife.

No. 319187

Im scandinavian and I make my boyfriends pay for dates and drinks. Then maybe I "spoil" him one in a blue moon which makes him feel good about spending 90% of the money in our realtionship.

I hate stingy men

No. 319191

Good for you.

>spending 90% of the money in our realtionship.

You sound like a leech or a LARPer

>I hate stingy men

So do I tbh, but imo there’s a middle ground between being stingy and being a sucker

No. 319192

She's not a leech. You sound male tbh. Men traditionally are supposed to be providers and take pride in it

No. 319193

No, because she said she just found out about the widow. You forget how much moids lie.

Don't even bother with explanations or anything, just ghost him. If you must, send a text saying you found out about the other woman and you will not go any further in y'all's situationship and then block him. That's all he deserves

No. 319194

Based and real.

No. 319199

lol. If you are living in Scandinavia and your moid is providing 90%, people will side eye you unless you have some level of disability making you incapable of working, or wildly disproportinate incomes. It's not common here for people to go the tradwife route, because you typically can't sustain yourselves one income here. I don't judge those who choose to if they have the means to (apart from if they lose their moid they'll then what), I'm just saying it's not a common dynamic here. Which makes me think she's either a LARPer, or like some unemployed girls I know who find some retarded basement dweller so desperate for a girl that he basically has no standards. She probably smokes weed all day staying up until 2am and spends her social security money on aliexpress junk.

No. 319200

>Tradwife route
Since when is making a man pay for the privilege of being with you is being a tard wife? She's providing him with pussy and security, he's paying her with eurobucks. seems fair

No. 319202

Not arguing whether it's fair or not, just saying I find this scenario unlikely. As we already established

>In my experience Scandinavian men would rather die than pay.

No. 319227

Lol thought I copied my text before deleting to fix typos whatever

Why are you so pressed my handsome, successful, well-liked boyfriend pays for me? Sorry my man isnt stingy like yours have been? Even my male friends will pay for their girlfriends and for me when we are out together, are you sure you're not just hanging out in the wrong crowds? Only stingy boyfriend I've had was a basement dweller loser btw, so your theory doesnt hold up.

And you are also awake now kek what is your point? I'm keeping my boyfriend company while he works nightshift, I give him attention while he is at work to make it more pleasant for him, and in return he spends that money on me. I think thats a fair trade.

No. 319228

ok queen clearly you slay go girl yass get his coin secure the bag go off and wig

No. 319229

Why are you so mad and in disbelief men, even scandi men, will spend money on a woman they value? Sorry you have been a placeholder gf or something, but my experience isnt uncommon. Not a single one of my girlfriends have to spend money on dates, their partner happily pays. Yes, in my nordic country.(infighting, include some actual relationship advice next time.)

No. 319231

Smells like ball sweat in here

No. 319234

kek you poor autist, I'm not mad, I'm laughing at you and your sperg out manifesto on on lolcor.net about being a High Value Woman with Sexy High Value Friends prized by Scandinavian Moids

No. 319291

How do you cope with knowing your man is sexually attracted to other women and looks at other women in skimpy clothes when you are out in public together? My bf doesn't turn his head and would never say anything out loud but I definitely know he notices them and I catch him looking and it just shatters my heart into a million pieces each time.

I know some "cool girls" will even point out sexy women to their bf and be like "did you see her ass?? Damn!" and I really don't get it. How does that not bother them? The only cope I ever heard was women saying stuff like "its ok to get your appetite outside but then you eat at home" Or "he might look at other women but at the end of the day he goes home with ME!"…. I want to vomit reading shit like that. As if their man who thirsts after other women right infront of them is some sort of price to be proud of? All women are too good and wholesome for men. Men don't deserve any of us.

How do I stop wanting to throw myself into oncoming traffick when I see a girl in yogapants walking infront of us? Thanks.

No. 319293

I know people are going are just going to say you either have to deal with it or be single, but the solution is to find someone whose values align with yours. Plenty of men (and women) let their eyes wander but control it, while others are just wired differently and are only attracted to people they've formed a strong romantic connection with (ie. their partner).
Sorry, but I wouldn't stay with a dude who looked at other women. It is normalized, but it doesn't have to be a part of your relationship at all. Something I've learned is that if you're having this strong of a reaction to something your moid does, get the fuck out. He's not that special if he can't even be fully loyal to you.

No. 319294

I don't think there are any men who don't even notice a jiggling butt in tight spandex walking infront of them. Men are animals who follow their instinct (to mount anything vaguely butt-shaped). Even the most domesticated guy will see it and have sexual thoughts.

Personally I'm a woman who doesn't notice other people (also largely due to my crushing social anxiety) but mostly because I don't find men I am not in a relationship with attractive or appealing at all. Men also don't dress sexually suggestive like women do, rarely ever do you see a guy with tight pants jogging about and even then who the fuck is attracted to that? Blergh. Men will never understand this or be capable of this and if you think your Nigel is different and not noticing the girl with midriff and white tube top whose nipples are showing through at the supermarket you are delusional.

I already said my bf would never turn his head after such a woman or say anything about it. He tries his best to pretend she's invisible but he has eyes and a dick so I know he's noticing all the thots.

Maybe I should just become a muslim and move to the middle east where women wear burkas. I just don't think I could deal with the heat.

No. 319296

Samefag to add that I just want to know how other women COPE with this. I guess your cope is deluding yourself that your Nigel doesn't have eyes and doesn't get a chub when he sees a girl in short shorts with her buttcheeks hanging out cause he's such a "nice guy", I'm too blackpilled about men for that.

No. 319297

I see hot muscular guys jogging half-naked all the time where I live. I used to look at them when I was single, but not anymore. The urge just goes away when I'm in a relationship with someone. I have a high libido too, higher than most men. If that happens to me, it's not out of the realm of possibility that some men may experience that too.
If you really believe all men are carbon copies of each other and are literal animals who can't help but gawk at every woman ever, why are you with a man? If my boyfriend ever did show signs of looking at or lusting over other women I'd dump his ass immediately. I've done it before, no hesitation. My partner is either the man I want him to be in all aspects of his personality, or I throw him out. None of this "coping" bullshit. You sound like a cuck.

No. 319298

I don’t notice other men in public, but I’m bi so notice other women. I don’t point it out to my husband. I think a lot of the time wow she’s so pretty and that’s it. It’s such a fleeting moment that I don’t really care if my husband sees other women and thinks that, yet I don’t condone him watching porn. I don’t think we’d ever find a man who isn’t like this.

No. 319299

File: 1680269240604.gif (134.7 KB, 220x220, ribisachi-raising-hand.gif)

>rarely ever do you see a guy with tight pants jogging about and even then who the fuck is attracted to that?

No. 319302

your bf watches porn behind your back

No. 319304

You are deluded about your nigel, I'm sorry. He is not blind and if he sees a hot woman in public he is noticing her. Even gay men will look at a woman in tight clothing.

No. 319309

Funny enough, that's what one of my exes did and I broke up with him on the spot.
Now, there's a difference between "noticing" and "getting turned on by/being attracted to." I notice hot men and hot women, but I don't care or feel anything for them.

No. 319311

That's cause you are a woman. God I wish women would stop projecting onto men. Your bf is not a woman. When he sees a young girl in tight pants and a crop top standing infront of you in the line at the cash register then he's not thinking "oh she looks nice I guess". He's thinking about what she looks like naked and about fucking her. Yes, even the most domesticated Nigel will do this. Even your dad.

God I wish I wasn't so blackpilled about men but growing up in spaces where men are honest really ruins any sort of illusion that women like you still have. You are blessed if you truly think YOUR Nigel is different and I hope you never find out the truth. Wish that was me tbh.

No. 319312

Here's a fun experiment for you to try out next time you are in the presence of a hot woman with your man. Try asking him a question about his surroundings and see how little attention he is paying to not only you but everything else around him. Good chance he won't even hear you as he's trying hard to keep his oogling to acceptable levels while thinking about what her farts might smell like.

No. 319313

This thread is so bleak it makes me feel like shit for wanting a family. I just know one day I'll say yes and my life will just go down from there. I have such bad baby fever ughh

No. 319314

Gosh I wish I hadn't discovered image boards as early as I did. The things they say when no one is looking makes my heart sink and my stomach turn. How can a human be so barbaric? My mom was and still is a truecrimefag so she put me onto their nonsense from day 1 telling me to never ever trust a man fully. I kept coping thinking it couldn't be ALL of them right? It's like they're tripping over themselves to out degen one another. God I feel so sick.

No. 319315

You guys forget that anons on lolcow are the hottest hotties. It's us the men are gawking at. The boyfriend spends all his time out with us having to guard us from other guys and getting jealous of the looks we get from them.

No. 319318

exactly. i don't really get why women brag "i only look at my man, i'm not attracted to other men" idgaf i look at, lust and admire handsome men all day even if I'm in a relationship. men are very, very visual and WILL ogle at random women. it's weird when women try to convince themselves that their nigels are special and only other men are subject to the basic biological rules. it's very simple: men really like the shape of women.

No. 319320

Unironically the only way I know how to cope is to dress up thotty as well and make my bf feel insecure also cause other men are looking at me the same way he would look at another woman in the same outfit. I know it bothers him and that is my only way of leveling the playing field a little. And why does it bother him? Cause he knows how disgusting all males are and what they are thinking.

No. 319321

It's not bragging. Some women have that kind of sexuality. Trust me I WISH I was a degenerate like a man as well and wanted to oogle other men. Then it would be fair and not bother me as much. I just have no interest in men unless I have an emotional connection. An attractive man that I don't know does nothing for me. I wish it weren't so cause it makes me sad that I will never experience a relationship with an equally devoted partner.

No. 319322

>dress up thotty
Men will gawk however you dress.
Not sure if even a burqua would stop them.

No. 319323

As bleak as that all sounds, all the power to you for being able to make him understand how you feel. Bitter medicine.

No. 319324

They definitely look more if you show your figure than if you wear a thick winter coat. Yeah a burqa help, its the reason they were invented. At least muslim men are honest about their inability to gawk at women who show their body.

I dread warmer weather and summertime because of this. I don't feel bad when all women are wearing thick coats, but once the short shorts, sundresses and crop tops come out of the closet I just want to leave my bf at home and go out alone. But then he probably just jerks off to porn when home alone so you really can't win either way. God I hate men.

No. 319325

Lol a burqua-lover

No. 319326

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but with all this talk, why do any of you even bother to date men? They aren't capable of love and equal devotion as other anons stated, and they don't have brains so they exclusively think with their dicks. What can a man give you that a dildo and your imagination can't aside from a headache, pregnancy scares, and emotional damage? I'll never understand how you all just put yourselves through bullshit like this.

No. 319327

Cause I want to have a family and not die alone. Sorry but you can't chose to be a lesbian last time I checked. My bf also makes me happy a lot of the time, so you gotta take the bad with the good I guess and just somehow deal with it. I wish I could go back to being naive about men cause it would make my life easier.

No. 319328

I'm a muslim-anon who doesn't wear a headcowering, a nonmuslim man once told me I'd look sexy in a headcovering and muslim wear. Muslim woman are very often sexualized even with our religious outfits so anyone who thinks wearing a burqa or covering up will stop men is delusional.

No. 319329

Well there goes my plan of becoming a devout Muslima in Kuwait like my idol Chantal I guess.

No. 319330

Please dont reply to baiters, anon. Any sane woman knows we can't magically change our sexuality but some baiters will come here to randomly blame straight women for "choosing" to be men either way.

No. 319331

Anon if he literally stares at women this hard in public and doesn't even stop when he knows you're uncomfortable, why do you keep going? I had my ex mention checking out women to make me jealous and I dumped him that night, later I learnt he was a pornsick loser so no regrets.

No. 319332

There are always some women on here who shill being alone as being fulfilling and empowering and I wish I could see it that way but I am a hopeless romantic. Despite knowing that I will never be loved the way I deserve, I still like to be in love and I need physical affection and intimacy with a person I am in love with. It's a need like any other and I truly don't think I could be happy being an empowered lone wolf woman with just a circle of female friends around me to keep me company. It's a forever dilemma where I just want to love and be loved and am constantly disappointed when I realize that men aren't capable of the kind of love I need.

No. 319334

He doesn't stare. I don't know where I gave the idea that hes doing some kind of comic book character UNGA BUNGA reaction. It still hurts me that he is looking even if its just for the amount of time that you'd consider appropriate. It's because I know what men are thinking about even if they try to hide it. Even your bf who is polite and doesn't stare STILL HAS EYEBALLS AND IS STILL NOTICING FERTILE SHAPELY WOMEN AROUND HIM. Yes this bothers me even tho hes not literally drooling on himself or jerking off right next to me.

No. 319336

Anon both men and women want romantic relationship and companionships. Although most men are mentally ruined, it used to be in our nature to want to love and keep someone near us to foster a family with. You're not feeling anything wrong, I hope you find someone that loves you. Most users on this site aren't based successful businesswomen feminists, they're NEET unemployed femcels who would actually kill to have their dream man date them although they're looking down on other women. A ton of those separatist anons admitted they were willing to lose all friends if it meant they could have their dream man which just speaks volumes as to how they're lying.

No. 319338

Thanks. I think my bf is basically as good as it gets when it comes to men. He is very polite, tries to make me feel comfortable, doesn't watch porn to my knowledge (although I am too afraid to snoop cause it would destroy me), we have a healthy sex life and he compliments me frequently and doesn't ever say a single word about other women. He even accepts that I am uncomfortable with watching movies that have nudity or sex scenes in them. He knows all my thoughts and feelings about men.

Basically he tries his best to be a good man for me, but in the end he is just a man and he has biological impulses etc. I don't know how it's going to be as I get older, probably just going to get worse since I will become less attractive and young hot women will always be around. I am just trying to cope as best as I can and focus on other things. Maybe with time it won't bother me as much. Sometimes I think maybe it's a better choice to spend your life with a man you don't love cause then you don't get hurt by him oogling other women. Maybe marrying a simp orbiter would be better than marrying someone you genuinely care about but then there's probably also not much incentive to stay with that guy.

No. 319346

>Yeah a burqa help, its the reason they were invented
no it doesn't, women in burqas still get sexually assaulted often. there was even this one country that tried putting burqas on fucking goats, that's how out of hand men got.

No. 319347

I don't think that's common unless the man is pornsick, which is a shame because pornsick men make up %85 percent of male population.

No. 319357

I think there's not an universal always do or don't date men answer and I wish there was a little more nuance on this website instead of always leaning towards extreme opinions without even considering a more nuanced or middleground take. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad there is this space that allows a counter voice, where women are allowed to voice anti-male/critical opinions and I think that's very much needed. I also genuinely believe it's a good thing for women to consider staying single and building a rich family and friendship-based network and social life instead, knowing that that option is there, but I don't think that's the answer for everyone and I think it's possible for a lot of straight women to live satisfying lives with a male partner (although that does involve willingly overlooking certain things and being (willingly) ignorant of male nature).

That said I don't agree with this sentiment that most users on here are mentally ill NEET femcels, there's plenty of women on here who live fully functional lives, going to uni or holding a job down and who have social lives and have (had) romantic and sexual partners. There's far too much conversation on normie topics and regular day to day lives/activities on this website for this not to be true.

No. 319359

pathetic nonas willing to get cucked just to get some crumbs of attention isn't much of a middleground lol

No. 319361

Yeah whenever I see a post like this I remember that one time anon proudly confessed to be one of the most avid man-haters on this website but using this website as a space to 'blow some steam off' while being happily in a relationship with a man and several anons chiming in confessing to the same. For all I know that's you. So I can't take any of you with these extreme, hateful, misogynistic leaning posts without much substance serious. I wish I had screencapped that post.

No. 319363

Kek I can't believe a janny redtexted you for saying your bf pays for your stuff. I sometimes feel like jannies knowingly redtext anons they infight with.

No. 319368

I think pretty much all men are like this but it's not always that severe, I've seen plenty of men (often on places like reddit where being pornsick is accepted) say that it's more of a "would I fuck her? yes or no" and then move on kind of thing. It's still gross but they're not all always having detailed and explicit fantasies about women, they would actually never get anything done because the world is half full of women.

No. 319372

For what it's worth I check out men, despite being in a relationship. I also look at women although I'm straight (obviously I don't gawk at them). Imo it's a normal thing for both genders to do. It's not so much a conscious decision, but being social beings we're kinda hard wired to do it. I don't see the issue unless your moid is turning his head around and being a creep. The thing about men imagining fucking random women is a side effect of porn addiction. Just look at the pornfree/nofap subreddits and you'll see men acknowledging that it's not normal.

No. 319377

nta but as the other poster >>319311 said, it's different when women do it. the intent is not the same, that's the point some of you aren't getting

No. 319379

Idk if you read my whole post, but my point was that guys who do this are pornsick. It's normal to aknowledge someone's attractive, but it's not natural to have these kind of constant intrusive thoughts.

No. 319387

It's not just porn addicted men (which are like 90% of men nowadays). Stop projecting onto men. Men are not like women. Men are pigs with disgusting pig thoughts you couldn't ever fucking imagine thinking. I think of men said all their thoughts out loud not a single woman would want to spend even a second in their company because they are constantly fantasizing about doing horrible shit to us and if they could get away with it. You probably don't want to know how many of the men you dated have looked at young girls at the start of puberty or even younger and had sexual thoughts about them. You'd never speak another word to any of the men in your life if you knew the true depth of their depravity.

No. 319391

>Stop projecting onto men
My girlfriends can get graphic about moids they fancy, despite being in relationships. A lot of you sound like you have no social life outside imageboards.

>Insane sperging

Why are you always posting the same takes in the relationship advice thread. Stick to 2X if you hate moids so much.

No. 319412

Kek imagine simping for moids while they jerk off while imagining raping your entire family

No. 319414

Can you go eat your nigels dick cheese instead of shitting up the thread whiteknighting him? thanks in advance(infighting)

No. 319424

this is so true. I think one of the reasons women continue to have relationships with men even if they're red flaggy or off is they always assume the "female explanation" for the weird behavior. They're imagining he operates more or less like they do– so they theorize what could cause them (themselves) to act that way, then project that explanation onto the moid. Because they personally can't imagine having a mind that works the way a moid's does.

No. 319461

You are assuming I'm ignoring red flags in my relationship, which I'm not. I'm not one of the anons constantly asking for advice itt, thus sometimes I feel qualified to give advice that is a little more nuanced than "all men are subhuman gutter trash rape monkeys". I have encountered lots of pornsick scrotes in my life and used dated one, so generally have a good handle on what to avoid. Like another anon said I'm sick of the extreme polarization and it's obvious some of you are just itt (an advice thread) to bait. Then again most of you guys are mentally ill.

No. 319469

jesus, i wasn't talking about you and your precious moid, calm down. I was just passing by and was struck by anon's "women projecting onto men" theory and added to it since it explains so much about male-female relationship dynamics in general. Nigelkeepers itt are testy as fuck.

No. 319476

>My girlfriends can get graphic about moids they fancy, despite being in relationships
Kek anon, you didn't need to out me like that. Some wierdos here literally think straight/bi women don't and can't have sexual thoughts towards men which is super weird as most women I know irl do have those thoughts since they're sexually attracted to men. It's definitely because those delusional anons don't interact with women in real life so they assume all women are feelingless passionless angels who have never ever had dirty thoughts towards any men while all men are violent rapists who think about fucking any woman they see.

No. 319480

Can I get you more straw for that man you're building?

No. 319482

How is not being asexual a strawman? Be honest with me, do you have any female friends irl? Like outside of online spaces?

No. 319486

Nobody denied that women don't also have sexual fantasies and some aren't as monogamous as others. You wanting to peg Benedict Cucumberbatch still doesn't compare to a rapeape fatasizing about molesting your little cousins while your grandma watches. Congrats on being a normie, Becky. The great thing about men is that living with them long enough will eventually blackpill you to the point most of us are already at so enjoy the ride.

Women think their sexual fantasies are anywhere near as disgusting and deranged as mens just make me laugh.

No. 319488

Ntayrt but their point is that women go about it differently, that's the key point here, not that women never have sexual thoughts.

No. 319502

>I also look at women although I'm straight
>it's a normal thing for both genders to do
the internalized male gaze

No. 319507

I really hate this. I used to never look at other women unless they were wearing something truly outrageous. Ever since I read men talk about how they view women who walk around in public I can not get it out of my head. Men talking about yoga pants and how they will follow a woman with a nice ass for miles literally stalking them, men saying they can't wait for summertime so women wear sandals and show their feet plus sundresses. Men talking about women who don't wear bras. Plus I have seen so many creepshots of women in public that men have taken and uploaded, often women in totally normal outfits. Knowing that even a woman in jeans or sweatpants is so sexualized by men has made me hyperaware of the male gaze and now every time a woman walks infront of me with her butt visible in tight pants I think about what my bf is thinking about that. It makes me so sick.

No. 319537

Not really, I think you are reading more into this than there is. Sizing each other up is very hard-wired into human behavior because we are social beings.

No. 319554

found out bf’s friend is a weirdo at the least. should I be assuming he’s also secretly weird? ik sometimes we don’t completely know the ppl we associate with or befriend, so I’m trying not to judge and jump to conclusions. especially men, they’re not exactly known to share intimate feelings with eachother a whole lot (though tbf my bf is emotionally intelligent) and he’s not a best friend.

No. 319563

You really think any straight males check out the asses of other guys walking past? kek

No. 319566

Anyone here ever dated a trans man? How is this different from dating a typical guy? Or not different at all? I'm kinda nervous I don't really know what to expect. Not even talking about sex but just even actual dating… Any tips or advice for me?

No. 319570

Leave newfag

No. 319572

I'm literally asking a relationship related question on a thread about relationships girltalk where everyone else is asking similar questions…. What's the issue?

No. 319573

>How is this different from dating a typical guy
Well for starters, unlike a normal guy, this one is a woman. So an upgrade, as long as you like pussy. kek

No. 319575

Most here are not cool with dating TIFs, that shit is a guaranteed train wreck. If you’re into women then just date ones who don’t have internalized misogyny

No. 319577

Eh idk, if she's nice and doesn't project any of her insecurities onto you (and you don't mind the masculinized features paired with a female frame) I don't think it "can't" work. That said, it would be personally hard for me to pretend she wasn't female if she's the type to deny bio sex is a meaningful concept. if she's more well balanced and can accept she's female at her core it could be okay, but that type seems to be rare.

No. 319578

Assuming this isn't bait, dating a trans man is different from dating a guy in that you are literally dating a woman. Women can't be men no matter what hormones they take or how they dress or what pronouns they put in their bios. Ever had a girlfriend before? That's what it's like.
If you absolutely have to date trans guys, only date ones who are TERF-friendly or TERF adjacent. They're a lot less likely to give you a headache since they're more realistic about being female and they know what they are.

No. 319590

Well a man is a man and a trans man is a mentally ill woman. So they have basically nothing in common except for being hairy.

No. 319640

File: 1680449320215.png (579.65 KB, 581x673, Screenshot_5241.png)

Sigh nonnas… Just when i thought i found a good man.

Before i share what happened, i just want to preface this by saying i am a degenerate and probably just as guilty if a little less, i have scrotal tier fetishes but only really want them inflicted on me.

There is this dude i've been talking to for a few months ago and we've been intending on meeting up for a bit, we have similar interests, personalities, life experiences, etc. and he's hot, only issue is he lives across the country, but that's not the central point of the story.

Amidst a sexual conversation, he made a one-off line about how he wants to "fatten me up" (for reference, i'm naturally very skinny and absolutely do not want to gain any weight, outside of my ass) and has mentioned several times he wants me to go on birth control to fulfill our breeding kinks but now i'm starting to think he has an ulterior motive. I don't think i've ever inferred i'm into wg/feederism, which i'm not so maybe it's a certain way i phrased something?

And not to racebait, without naming anything explicit he's part of a race that's stereotyped for finding overweight women attractive. So what should i do. Tell him it made me uncomfortable and i don't want to engage in his potential fetish? If he doesn't listen just block him? Or just block him regardless without engaging further.

No. 319643

First of all, why the fuck are you using a weird anime character? The picture choice reminds me of ex-hooker now-teacher anon which isn't a good look
Secondly, don't fucking online date. Don't talk about sex and fetishes with men you haven't even met irl. You're only going to pull weirdos if you do this shit.

No. 319644

if you want a man to practice your fetishes with, engaging with a man who has and wants to push a fetish you do not have nor want to engage in seems like a bad idea. i'd block and move on. you as a degen know about the drive to pursue a fetish, if a man thinks he can be open there is a good chance he would pressure or push you into doing it. his ethnicity doesn't really matter but "fatten you up" is a very specific idea and is probably not a throwaway line but him testing the waters, and saving it for when you've been talking for a bit and are invested.

No. 319646

That teacher-anon was a hooker?!??
Just say the race, how is it racebaiting if it's true? Also you have a breeding kink? There's a lot wrong with this. Block him.

No. 319653

File: 1680451788279.jpg (131.1 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault (27).jpg)

I don't know, it's just what i do, always have.

He's black, i thought that was implied. I'm white too to help complete the stereotype even further.

Thank you, this is probably the correct perspective as well.

No. 319670

Not a hooker, she said she was an ex-stripper in one of her posts. I think it was in employment thread in /ot/.
Having weird fetishes isn't going to be excused by his race, a lot of feeder fetishists are autistic white man afaik.

No. 319673

I got the vibe that it was a black guy from your OP. Not even racebaiting, I'm black too and the stereotype is real as fuck.
Anyway, you both sound to sexually incompatible for it to work out and the fact that he asked you to go on birth control when you haven't even met is literally insane. Red flags. Let that man go.

No. 319680

I'm saying that black men are usually attracted to overweight woman, and i'd include the prospect of making one overweight in that category as well. You're right tho.

Kek, you're right. I should add i'm only talking about black men, fortunately i have not seen black women engage in this tomfoolery.

No. 319737

By the way if any anon is following sex worker teacher who uses anime pics and thinks her underage students are in love with her saga, this post >>315834 is also made by her because the same account that posted her teacher story on mumsnet also posted this same post on mumsnet.

No. 319741

>sex worker teacher
>sex worker
Wait what, I saw someone sperging about being a teacher but I guess I completely missed this part. What thread did she post on again?

No. 319753

I'm out of the loop, any link to the saga or at least what thread it was on?

No. 319769

My Nigel and I have been together for over 4 years and almost everything is great but he keeps tickling me and we keep having the same fight over it. it’s the only recurring issue we have. It’s so fucking retarded and it makes me resent him so much because my exes were all the same. Idk why people think I’m not serious when I say don’t tickle me. I want to rope because I feel like I’m going to lose the person I thought I would marry over something that makes no sense. Why can’t he just fucking stop?! I would say it’s a fetish but he doesn’t get boners while he does it… he claims he just likes hearing me laugh but he KNOWS it will lead to a fight every time

No. 319772

“It’s just tickling” it’s an invasion of your personal space and non-consensual touching of your body that you’ve told him many many times to stop doing and he won’t. He thinks he can get away with it because if you get really mad he can be like “it’s just tickling babe wtf you’re overreacting.” It doesn’t matter what it is he’s doing, the point is you’ve told him to stop and that you don’t like it and he continues to ignore your boundaries for his own desires, whatever they may be. Personally I would leave his ass after seeing he doesn’t respond to “stop” and “no.”

No. 319791

I'm becoming insane in middle age so take this with a grain of salt but I think you should seriously karate chop him in the neck next time he tickles you. that shit is so tiring. there's a breaking point for these things.

No. 319794

why didn't she answer this question i still don't get how she did it. were they visiting eachother?

No. 319799

Ex-stripper teacher-chans posts:

No. 319804

I saw most of her posts as they happened and I didn't reply to any of them because she didn't have a real problem. there's no advice to give her.

No. 319876

kick him in the balls. seriously. when he starts showing signs of being about to start it again tell him if he does it you're kicking him hard and square and he will learn his lesson real quick.

No. 319937

My bf was listening to this song. I'm pretty grossed out by it despite being a popular Nirvana song it's kind of icky when sang by a woman and a man listens to it. Am I overreacting or does this give you the ick as well?

No. 319938

I was gonna tell you you were overreacting because your bf listening to a woman doesn't mean anything but the lyrics. Wtf. I'd consider it a warning sign, if you can you should check his history and stuff to see if this is a one time thing or if he's pornsick to this extent.

No. 319940

He knows I can access his computer any time I want so he's not gonna leave anything suspicious in his browser history.

No. 319947

I legitimately get triggered when people tickle me because when I was younger my male cousin would do it to me relentlessly until I physically couldn’t breathe and I would start feeling like I was dying and my face would go purple, and I would actually get scared and sometimes pass out because I wasn’t getting oxygen. It was extremely traumatic for me. So now if someone (especially male) tries tickling me and doesn’t stop when I ask them to I literally cut them off from my life because they obviously don’t respect my boundaries.

No. 319962

This cover singer looks like a desperate Russian pick-me-girl. You know the type that will do anything for male attention. So yes this is cringe, very cringe. I feel bad for her, the cover singer. She's obviously been subjected to so much cultural misogyny and perpetuated self hatred. Women like her are so sad. I just feel bad for her.

No. 319966

>getting this triggered by women singing
Scrote detected.

No. 319987

File: 1680577333996.jpeg (24.46 KB, 600x600, F13BDFDC-8AA7-484E-8441-4AC014…)

my sort-of-bf and I banter/tease each other A LOT (although it’s mostly him teasing me) usually I enjoy it and encourage it ‘cause I know he’s only messing around and it’s always silly, but he said something to me while we were voice calling that made me feel like shit, and I can’t move on from. I have abnormally big eyes, people say I look like amanda seyfried (I promise I’m not humble bragging here) and at school boys would pick on me for looking like an “alien” or “bug”. Anyway this guy and I watched a video featuring a girl with a shaved head and he said “god imagine how freaky/alien-like you’d look bald, you E.T looking ass bitch.” he was absolutely teasing and I know if I had made it clear I was hurt he would apologize and never say it again, but I want to know, since I’ve laughed at/indulged his teasings before, is it silly for me to be upset over this? I mentioned to him that boys at school picked on me about that very thing and he refused to believe it? I said “nothing you can say can hurt me because I’ve heard it all before” but that was a lie, usually I don’t care if someone picks on me for that but because it’s him, it made me sad. He had clearly thought about it before since he was so ready to joke about it? I don’t know how to feel, he’s said I look “anime” before and complimented me on my looks, but it’s like all of that is out of the window now because he parroted exactly what my bullies said all those years ago. Perhaps the worst part is, I 100% know he didn’t think twice about it, and probably didn’t even realize what he said.

No. 320004

Why do you care so much about a guy who didn't even make moves to become your bf? Is he your online bf?

No. 320011

what does this mean
anyway his teasing sounds bad, I have to be honest. if most of your sort-of-relationship revolves around being teased he's shitty.

No. 320025

So many fucking red flags here
>online bf
>watches anime
>calls you misogynistic slurs as a "joke"
>keeps testing his limits to see how far he can go insulting you
>knows you were bullied and still bullies you

First of you need to never talk to this loser again and then second you need to grow up and learn that "teasing each other" is childish schoolyard shit that will eventually end in hurt feelings and letting men do that to you means they will never respect you. It's pick-me shit to let men insult you and go along with it cause it's "just a joke". Respect yourself more and then find a man who respects you.

No. 320027

My bf and i are close and we tease each other but if either of us said "you ET looking as bitch" the mood would immediately shift. Him calling you a bitch is especially a red flag. Plus he doesn't take your past traumas seriously. Sorry to say but he doesn't seem to want to be full-on-bf with you. Not that you should be sad about that, he sounds like he's 12, you'll feel way better off without him.
Being in a relationship shouldn't have you second-guessing whether he insulted you seriously or as a joke. And being with someone who makes you sad, even if you think its unintentional on their part, is never, never ever worth it. A good man should AT THE VERY LEAST be better than no man at all. Ghost this loser.

No. 320039

Teasing each other as a couple should absolutely never be about each others insecurities! Honestly it should just never be about physical appearance. It's one thing to say "Maybe we should leave an hour early because you're so bad at navigating haha" or "Oh you are so clumsy maybe I shouldn't let you cut the onions you might take a finger off!" That's like good natured teasing. Saying things like "Gollum, bug-eyes, hook-nose, horse-teeth" etc especially followed by "ass bitch" is absolutely not ok.

No. 320065

I've been dating my bf 2 years. Lately he's doing this thing where he quizzes me on some science factoid he probably got from reddit, like 'what does DNA stand for?' I really don't care, but he won't let me out of it without answering and gets really pushy. If i answer correctly he seems disappointed and drops the subject, and if I get it wrong he gloats. He never acts like an asshole any other time, but he's doing this shit more and more lately, and it's getting annoying. I have a lot of specialized knowledge in fields he knows nothing about but I never rub his nose in it. I know he is insecure and anxious. he has ADHD and a shitty job, doesn't read books, just doomscrolls reddit all day looking at stupid memes, which he calls "reading" and "learning" but it's just an addiction. I try not to be judgemental but he's really pathetic sometimes. This is his only flaw. as far as moids go he's pretty decent and sweet.

Should I continue humoring his pathetic little quizzes or should I rip his asshole open? I actually like this stupid idiot and want him to stop behaving like an insecure butthole.

No. 320069

>dating a redditor
nonnie… please. How embarrassing.

No. 320077

Tear him apart nonnie. Little baby feels emasculated because he is not smarter than you. Id love to say break up with him, because man who are threatened by your intelligence are the worst, but i know you dont wanna hear it. But ill still let it be said

No. 320079

Quiz him back. "What's my birthday?" "What's my eyecolor?" "What's my favorite scent?" "What's my mom's name?" Thing's he's actually supposed to know but doesn't cause he's a scrote. See how long he finds this game fun.

No. 320086

>This is his only flaw. as far as moids go he's pretty decent and sweet

No he is not, you just described the opposite of someone decent and sweet.

No. 320119

>This is his only flaw
>proceeds to list several more flaws
i don't know nona, this might just be me being overly cynical, but if he scrolls through reddit all day and is quizzing you with hopes that you get it wrong to get a small sense of superiority from it, then he's probably going through some incel subreddits or at least agreeing with some andrew tate ideology too because we all know reddit is full of that already

No. 320122

I fucking hate your boyfriend so much it’s unreal

No. 320127

Tell him that his shitty job and low selfesteem are his problem and that you know he's taking his insecurities out on you. If he keeps doing it afterwards there should be consequences. He's trying to tear you down because of his own low selfesteem and that's not OK. You don't deserve to be a victim to your own boyfriend like that.

No. 320162

I think I'm stupid
my boyfriend is being really suspicious. I don't know if I'm overthinking or not
basically we've been planning to move in together since January and the plan was for him to move in with me until we find a place. I rent a room from a family member and he moved in to save money so we could find a place together.
basically he never ended his lease and has been paying rent at his apartment while living with me.
we found an apartment and are supposed to move in on the 20th. he still hasent put in a notice to move out at his place and I'm getting worried.
I suspect he's cheating on me, there's this girl he's friends with named Ashley and we fought over me wanting to reconnect with an old male friend and he said he'd stop talking to Ashley if I didn't reach out. I thought that was the end of it but the other day she called him and I saw it on his phone before he declined the call.
I'm suspicious because we almost broke up over that argument and he is still in contact with her.
he's accused me of cheating in the past and has even gone as far as to question the family of one of our mutual friends to see if I was cheating with that friend. I don't know if that counts as projecting but I'm really starting to get a horrible gut feeling about the entire situation.

No. 320173

Cancel the apartment search and kick him out of yours. He knows you saw the declined call and he's observed you do nothing. He will take you for a willing fool and gaslight you if you state your worries. Don't chain yourself via a lease with him.

No. 320176

>he's accused me of cheating in the past and has even gone as far as to question the family of one of our mutual friends to see if I was cheating with that friend
he's definitely cheating on you

No. 320221

I asked before and got no answer but here goes again with a bit more context: bf’s friend is weird, but that’s just putting it in a nice way. Idk if he’s just edgy or what but he finds funny stuff like rape among other worse things. Not happy that they’re friends and it’s escalated to where I have murderous thoughts about his friend tbh. Idk how to even start the conversation without coming across as accusatory and controlling but i don’t wanna be in a relationship with him if they stay friends… should I assume bad thing about my bf bc of his friend?

No. 320222

>should I assume bad thing about my bf bc of his friend?

No. 320246

Yes, you should. Give him an ultimatum first, if you really want it to work, like "If you keep being his friend I'll break up with you". But i don't think you should stay in a relationship with people who think being edgy is the biggest counterculture there is.

No. 320267

I knew one guy who had racist friends who joked anout raping. He then turned out to be just like his racist prorape friend, just hiding it better than his friend because he thought I'd sleep with him if he hid that stuff.
Him being friends with that guy means he thinks those stuff is ok and by seeing your reaction, he can judge just how far he can push your boundaries without voicing those thoughts out himself but through his friend. I

No. 320299

are they longtime/childhood friends or became friends more recently? honestly you're probably better off just leaving if you don't like his friend, because your boyfriend probably wouldn't hang out with an edgelord misogynist if he didn't tolerate or agree with it. i don't think ultimatums ever go well and even if he stopped contacting that friend, he'd resent you.

No. 320405

Not childhood, which I guess makes it worse. Maybe long time ish? Met him sometime after 2016. Thank you though and also other anons. Maybe I could tell him just my opinion, no ultimatum, and see if he agrees and acts accordingly. If not then I act accordingly? He doesn’t need to know

No. 320406

>Maybe I could tell him just my opinion, no ultimatum, and see if he agrees
Males will agree with you on anything if it means continued access to your pussy. Just look at all the normie guys agreeing to call their gfs special pronouns and label themselves as queer for it kek

No. 320418

This hot and cold treatment is a form of emotional abuse.

No. 320434

File: 1680790931296.png (432.49 KB, 2104x1618, Screen Shot 2022-12-09 at 7.45…)

nonnies i think there's something wrong with me but idk what the problem is. To preface, please forgive the naivety of a turbovirgin lesbian in her 20s, I'm in my first official relationship and I feel really weirdly ambiguous about it. However, I don't know if it's a "getting used to being in a relationship" problem or a "I'm not actually attracted to my girlfriend" problem. the essential details are we only started dating in February, we go to the same college and she's a year younger than me. We've been friends for a while, have some similar interests and usually gel together well.

when we're not together, for some reason I start feeling really weird about the relationship and questioning whether or not it will actually last beyond college (or even this year tbh), and if this is actually a serious relationship especially for her since I tried to sit down and talk to her seriously about what she wants from the relationship early on, but her only response was "I don't know" (she asked me out by the way) and I'm kind of afraid of trying again. I do have some private qualms about her behavior e.g. i think she's very childish sometimes/baby talks a lot which can get on my nerves but I haven't figured out how to bring it up without sounding like a bitch, but i think having small things you dislike about someone is a normal thing, right?

At the same time, I think this has resulted in me not really doing enough/committing myself to being an attentive girlfriend because i've been feeling so weird about it. I have a super busy schedule and a generally demanding workload, so I feel bad that we can't spend much time together, because whenever we're together I feel fine about the relationship. I really do like her, I feel very affectionate toward her and I like spending time with her. But I might be subconsciously using my busy schedule as an excuse to avoid having to figure out what my deal is.

tl;dr, it feels like a high school relationship except we're just in a college setting. We've only kissed proper like twice and it was kind of awkward LMFAO so I haven't tried again. I do want a relationship with a physical connection but I am just not feeling it. At the same time, I don't know if it's too early to pass a judgement on that since it hasn't been very long at all. I don't know if my issues are major insecurity, commitment issues, or if I'm not really attracted to her. I don't want to just break off the relationship so soon, especially since I'm afraid it might create some animosity.

No. 320447

Imo you should feel chemistry right away. Most people are crazy about each other when they start dating and can’t keep their hands off each other. Do you feel attracted to her at all?

No. 320497

I do find her physically attractive, and I do really, really like her. I feel happy and relaxed around her, it's just that in general I feel very meh about the relationship. Like, it wouldn't make a difference to me if we were or were not dating, which is why I think there's something wrong with me. I've always had a really weird relationship to attraction—I've always wanted a girlfriend, but have never truly felt particularly passionate about my attraction to anyone, and have never really understood when people talked about the super intense feelings they had toward their partner.

When I was considering how to respond to her asking me to be her girlfriend, my knee-jerk reaction was to say no specifically because of this weirdness about attraction. (and this is a whole other can of worms and psychological issues i guess) I did say yes ultimately because thinking longer about being romantically involved seemed like it would be nice, but only after I sat and thought about it. She does seem genuinely interested in me (which is also why I feel so awful for finding myself to be apathetic), she had apparently been pining all throughout our friendship and told me about all the ways she would scheme to spend time with me, which is really cute lol. But I was clueless the whole time.

No. 320499

>I do find her physically attractive, and I do really, really like her.
>it wouldn't make a difference to me if we were or were not dating
It sounds like you aren't actually physically into her, then. There's a difference between acknowledging someone is objectively attractive and actually wanting to get physical with them. If being friends vs dating feels the same to you, and kissing was so awkward you don't want to do it again, then there's no sexual spark.

No. 320540

so i met this guy online, we met twice and talk every single day and have been for like a month, he admitted that he liked me and i admitted i like him and we both knew that we were probably gonna date in the future we just need to see each other more (because he went home for easter break). however he is still on tinder, so i got mad at him when he willingly told me it (he was like haha look at this tinder bio). btw he literally deleted his dating apps in front of me on the FIRST date so idk why he felt the need to redownload them or if he’s just a fucking retard. he was like I didn’t know there was boundaries we should’ve established them bla bla and i said if you ACTUALLY liked me why would u still feel the need to be on the lookout for other people? am I wrong to be angry about this?

No. 320541

He's the one who made a whole song and dance out of deleting the apps so he can't play ignorant. You're not in the wrong for feeling upset.
Ask him point blank why he deleted them in front of you, if not to establish the boundary: I'm not looking for anyone else.
Honestly he might just be retarded but I wouldn't trust a moid after doing this, this is him on his best behaviour nonnie

No. 320542

moid here, just to let you people know that coming here and reading all these stories has encouraged me because I'm literally better than 99% of anecdotes in here(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 320545

You already know the truth. If he was serious about you then he wouldn't still be looking and matching other women.

No. 320547

since 25min isn't enough to get me bad, might as well say some more

when I'm going around walking and overhear young girls talking it seems like they just do verbal reruns to each other of every single social phenomenon like they're both chewing and digesting it together

from early childhood I also remember girls would help each other out if one was a socially lost cause

not that I am resentful about it but this seems to exist to a significantly lesser extent for males, no one talked me through anything but I have my own mind, thoughts and taste so right now going through life I feel like it's going more than fine

No. 320548

forgot to add I thought of this because it seems as though there's something wrong with all of you, if you're women why didn't you get a clear grasp and understanding to not make all these stupid mistakes I've been reading on here for a time?

No. 320549

>I am a male but I am so much better than the males you date
>proceeds to act like a total asshole


No. 320550

it's an online message board, in real life I am also blunt and direct but I genuinely respect people

recently I've had experiences in life that affirm my heuristic of people behaving how you treat them, right now gooner coomer video gamer pesters me but although I do make fun of him from time to time I make it clear through words and actions that there is no sadistic intent about it

No. 320552

Don't interact with the moid retard

No. 320553

Moids stop virtue signalling and saying how fuckable you are challenge

No. 320554

Lolcow ignore and report challenge

No. 320555

I'm only doing it as a conversation starter here before mod eventually decides to stop me, would not be inclined to do this irl because I am not pretentious

No. 320556

also not convinced most posts here aren't penises larping

No. 320560

since by the looks of it I am still here, I will go with a theme that should count as stimulating in here

does some kind of hormonal unbalance contribute to trans man phases?

born 13y earlier than me half sister had one of those when I was still too young, wanted all the t and all that before it was as widespread as it was today

female therapist talked her down and now she's only a 38 year oold lesbian living with me

menstrual cycle is endometriosis-esque painful but no endometriosis, says it's just too high progesterone I doubt either of us are well enough versed in hormones

was never physically active, naturally low appetite skinny, does not handle stress well, recently I've heard of women having worse bowel movements and yes she does, think I can recognize the specific smell of unhealthy female bowel movement

whereas right now I think I've dialed in my overall health and have wonderful feelings of euphoria, are these women just out of whack hormones and neurons wise?

No. 320563

This is the relationship thread, go back to whichever mental health facility you escaped from, faggot. Imagine talking about your mentally ill teenage sibling and sperging about her body and, the smell of her shit and her bowel movements. This post might be the most schizo and pedo post I've ever seen

No. 320566

she's 38, I'm talking from the perspective of development, she is 13 years older than me, there is no sexual aspect, I understand it is unusual and yes I have had psychosis last year in the winter but no you are definitely projecting due to maybe bad reading comprehension

No. 320567

but also my bad for choice of thread
I've not been sleeping every other day but I haven't yet had this unintentionally bad of an inappropriate moment

will check in until posts are finally put to pasture

No. 320568

actually why am I being so agreeable, there is no incest pedo, she is born 13 years earlier than me, we do not have a relationship besides as siblings, and these are all themes I've discussed with her

I think you being a bit jumpy may be a fair cocnlusion

No. 320569

>smells sisters poop
>writes down when sister poops
>stalks sister and makes weird comments about her body
>admits to having psychosis
Go admit yourself to a mental hospital. God your poor sister you're such a weird fucking creep. Go to a mental health center instead of posting about your sister before she finds this shit and kicks your unemployed mentally ill ass out.

No. 320570

I'm in the buerocratic paperwork process of getting a good start to my career rn, mental health evaluation sunday

I'll show her this thread in 20mins to when I'm home to see what she thinks of it

No. 320571

Jesus christ you are actually retarded, do you not see yourself? spilling your spaghetti on a half-dead mongolian basket weaving forum like this, admitting that you're mentally ill and expecting us to take you seriously and paying a weird amount of attention to your sister's poop, god I'd hate to be you. Again please step back and reread the things you're saying. I feel so bad for your sister.

No. 320572

just walking home to reiterate each word to see how she thinks about the issue

No. 320573

she says your statements are pulled from context and is surprised I am continuing to argue

No. 320574

says I'm posting in the wrong place but I tend to gravitate to weird places, think I can take things w a grain of salt

No. 320575

sorry for the heavy volume of posts but I'm not mooching of off her for rent either, our parents own the property, idk if you imagined smelly crazy neet

also psychosis can happen to anybody, don't stigmatize mental health I work to better myself and have actually done something(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 320576

I hope you get banned and your sister can move out. Even she said this is the wrong place and that you should leave the website.
You admitted to having a psychosis, currently being unemployed, having your parents still pay for your rent while you shitpost about your sisters shit.
Please leave this website, it's really not doing anything good for you.

No. 320577

stop responding to the moid

No. 320580

Suddenly feel so blessed to have my bf who is mentally healthy and doesn't sniff poo.

No. 320606

update i stopped talking to him LOL he doesn’t even seem too fussed anyway glad I dodged that bullet!!!

No. 320608

Invited ex to play game with me, he surprisingly accepted. Then few days later invited him again and he declined. What’s going on? I feel bummed out. Is it just that he thinks it’s immature? We’re both in the wrong but at least I initiated the interaction. I don’t wanna talk unless he does first. Am I dumb?

No. 320611

Who dumped who?

No. 320613

Men think you wanna get back together if you contact them as an ex, beware of that. An ex of mine lost his house and I told him I was sorry he went through that, he stalked me for weeks and tried to talk to be and cried about how he still loved me. Keep your distance if you don't wanna end up in a similar situation with a desperate loser chasing you.

No. 320642

Both? I want to reconcile but he prob doesn’t think that. All the times I tried I reached out in the past were to give him a piece of my mind after I thought of something else up kek. Though inviting him to play should be an obvious enough sign? so maybe he doesn’t wanna reconcile. I’m just wondering what changed his mind since he accepted the first game request.
I don’t think I run the risk of that. I mean he denied the request to play the game the second time around. I don’t think he wants to bc he knows what that would entail; going to therapy. He’s a self-aware loser. That said, I miss him smh

No. 320643

>Though inviting him to play should be an obvious enough sign? so maybe he doesn’t wanna reconcile. I’m just wondering what changed his mind since he accepted the first game request.

he doesn't want to be with you again. he realized what you are doing and wants no part of it.
to verify, straight up tell him in explicit and simple words what you want, and get his response.

No. 320645

I know that not every man is a “lying, cheating, weak-willed, violent, hypocritical, disgusting pedophile!!” etc. But how do I get over all the bullshit I’ve experienced, heard from friends and family, and seen online enough to not be unfairly paranoid to any current partner if I am dating, or potential candidates if I am single?
I apparently may not understand how to build and/or operate a “Good Guy Radar” when I have so little experience in relationships. Long distance is hard, issues don’t come up until you’re both attached. I’m still trying to figure out if something just went super wrong and crazy along the line, that hopefully a lot of it really is just my fault and it can be healed and moved forward from, or if this would be inevitable with anyone he dated (who either stayed long enough to put up with it, or was manipulated harder) and the guy really is just BPD or a narc or something.
If the energy is really fuck you if you grew up in an abusive household, were abused or neglected or had to compromise for huge character flaws in a past relationship, and had that trauma or heartbreak burned in so much deeper by witnessing men’s online behavior in anonymous spaces, I really would rather just gtfo of the dating scene and start saving up money to just get some cream of the crop sperm donor’s kids in me so I can live the life I want with all the friends and success and joy, just no sexual commitment, romantic intimacy, whatever.
Again, I’m not asking to be convinced that good men exist. Of course they do. I’m having trouble with how to work out not being a bundle of baggage for the rest of my life if I attempt to trust men. If that is not realistic to achieve, I’d like to start making other plans because I am pretty hung up on the true love soulmate shit so it would take some work and time if I have to give up on that. I know responding to this requires knowing some level of “Well how bad is it? How much baggage have you got?” but the generalized examples are as deep as I’m willing to go. Maybe at all, maybe just off the bat.

I was going to post this in some male-inhabited zone but then didn’t want to deal with the mountain of braindead, touching themselves behind their screens MGTOW shit that would inevitably come even if I got some decent feedback from reasonable, helpful, self-aware men.
Just, please don’t try to make me feel better or something by YAAASSQUEENpilling me. I’ve done as much of that as is healthy or valid, so I just want to move on from the resentment and fear and try to figure out if I can at least have a reasonable shot at not ending up with a cheater or a druggie or some soulless coomer. I know it is always possible any horrific trait could be revealed over time, and I know a good guy can always leave or die. But I just need some clarity. I’m so deep in the fucking fog, dudes, and I love the person I’m with so goddamn much, but it’s a whole lot of up and down textbook “yikes.” I know no one wants to be pitied, but I also feel at this point I have some sort of duty to “SAVE him with my LOVE!” Yeah yeah stupid, but it’s blown my mind wide open to how almost cartoonishly fucked up people can be. I want him to find happiness if it’s not with me. But right now I just need to be able to see what’s in front of my face so I can be sure I’m not just brainwashed.
I just want some general advice about focusing on the good in this world over the bad in the context of men, and how to know how much I’m projecting and how much may be my man just being…not the one for me.

It feels like one of those stupid “You have 25 points, what traits you choosing?” memes where I always have to pick a lesser evil and any of the decent traits are 30 points just to twist the knife. So fucking tired of these retards sensationalizing the psychos who get wet over serial killers when it’s the exact fucking opposite for the average woman dating, just trying to find the turd to polish or maybe even a nice piece of rock quartz that won’t kill you in your sleep or psychopathically destroy your life from the inside out. Fuck.
It probably sounds like I’m just preparing myself to not be utterly broken if this relationship is unsalvageable but I dunno. It’s still with the intent to just have more resilience to get through the problems with my person. I don’t feel trapped, I don’t feel abused or manipulated into it, I just really can’t give up on this guy because I see it gray in all the ways that keep us together and black-in-white in all the ways it makes it hard for me to be okay with all the stress and pain.

No. 320653

this is a weird situation where I'm friends with my ex. I've been with my current boyfriend for a year now and he has had three failed relationships. I usually don't say anything but his current girlfriend comes off as crazy, money grabby and a stage five clinger.
I didn't say anything until this woman came to my house and tried to throw hands for no reasons other than insecurity. My boyfriend of course helped me get rid of her.

I told my ex the situation and he told me I was just jealous because he found his soul mate and I must have done something to make her find my address, stalk me and attack me. I cut contact and his friends are getting annoyed about how if he's around, so is she. Cutting contact with him seems to be the only option, which sucks because I do love him, but as a friend.

No. 320663

This is the wrong thread and no one's gonna read that wall of text.

No. 320668

File: 1680935507711.jpeg (70.87 KB, 567x571, 1646976681941.jpeg)

>I know that not every man is a “lying, cheating, weak-willed, violent, hypocritical, disgusting pedophile!!” etc.
uhhh who told you that sis

No. 320673

Hmm, what am I doing? I want to reconcile or at least stay in good terms. Mostly just talk it out, or closure. Shouldn’t that have been obvious from the get go since I invited him to play(we played three times too that day)? I cant think of what he could’ve mistaked that for and then “realized” what it was later if that’s the case. Games were something we naturally bonded over. And yes I probably will do that then finally cease contact. Not much else left to do if he’s not receptive ig

No. 320681

>>320645 get some therapy (I mean this seriously) and be single for a while

No. 320682

Cutting off your ex was the right thing to do. IME you can only ever be friends with an ex if you have a period of no talking until you've both properly moved on. You might be able to rekindle your friendship in the future but tbh this level of drama seems to suggest that will never happen. Move on.

No. 320687

File: 1680949548128.jpg (70.11 KB, 656x856, Jennie_Kim_from_BLACKPINK_PUBG…)

Are all men actually pedos who find a woman most beautiful when she looks as young as possible while still being legal? No offense but some Asian girls look like actual toddlers (picrel Jennie kim) and it freaks me out to know how many men have an Asian fetish and think of them as sexy not just cute. To me Jennie looks like a cute baby or something, it's sick to know men look at her and think of her as something they want to fuck
And that's just one example of many, the Brooke Sheilds documentary got me thinking about this
When I think about how men are like this I literally don't want a relationship with them at all anymore
Also am I just being racist by being disturbed by women who look like children being serialized? I understand they cant help it, but some Asian women do look adult like Dilraba or Fan bingbing

No. 320689

Stop fucking up the thread with unrelated garbage, retard.
Anons don't reply to this, it's ban evading male.

No. 320691

I have absolutely zero interest in meeting men, going on dates, or being in a relationship. I don't have to have sex, I still feel horny sometimes but I don't look for a partner. I'll talk to men in a friendly way but that's it. I feel perfectly content with this life for a while if not the rest of my life. I already experienced relationships and enough disappointment and fun. I am 31.

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same mindset.

No. 320693

This is not the right thread for a conversation/discussion like that.

No. 320697

It seems to be exactly the right thread.
But thanks for giving nothing

No. 320699

No. This thread is for relationship advice, you don't have a relationship nor do you want advice.

No. 320706

This thread is about relationships, I
am talking about relationships as a topic. You going to keep shitting up a thread or find another way to spend your time?

No. 320735

No this thread is for relationship ADVICE. Go make your own thread if you want to discuss staying single. I actually think it's an interesting topic for discussion just not for this thread. You're the one shitting up this thread by actively ignoring the second word in the damn title.

No. 320787

Why is there an influx of offtopic replies to this thread? Is it because crystal cafe was down?
You could use /ot/ for this kind of discussion.

No. 320801

We have a volcel thread here >>282262 it's not very active because there's not much to discuss about and we are a minority but if you want to bump it go ahead.

No. 320808

How the fuck does anything in my post read as male, are you new to the internet in general? Men do not ever hold each other accountable for their shit especially not their attraction to little girls

No. 321071

To women who were able to leave an abusive relationship: How did you do it? I think I've hit the realisation that my relationship isn't toxic - it is very much abusive. I feel so defeated and trapped. It feels so difficult to leave. I also wouldn't mind resources that helped you through tough times. Also, yeah, I know I am a huge dumbass and I should get my shit together.

No. 321076

File: 1681206789633.jpeg (19.71 KB, 324x500, womenwholovetoomuch.jpeg)

this book was pretty eye-opening to me. made me cry a lot. you're not a dumbass. good luck nonnie.

No. 321077

When I felt trapped in a abusive relationship it was a mix of there being practical reasons why moving out would be tricky (and me having to plan my getaway behind his back so he wouldn't flip out and put me in danger) and then me having such low confidence and self esteem by that point that I'd started to believe I was simply incapable of making a plan and carrying it out. I'd regressed into a state of learnt helplessness. Told myself that getting out would be this high mountain to climb so I stayed for too long believing that. Once I was away from him the level of stress I'd previously been living under really dawned on me so that helped me to not cling to any unrealistic ideas that I'd somehow made a 'mistake' by leaving. I woke up on my first day living away from him and for the first time in a long time I didn't have a huge knot in my stomach. I felt lighter. Still had bad days but it was mostly because the true extent of the abuse was then hitting me in waves. It wasn't regret over leaving.

It took about 3 months of planning and saving in secret and I was so on edge during that period. Had no family or fallbacks so I felt I had to play the long game alone. When an already abusive partner picks up on any hints that you're checking out the abuse tends to escalate fast. I had to try and act normal and walk on eggshells in the meantime which was dangerous. If you're worried about safety and need a quicker plan look into womens refuges. Idk why I didn't go down that route tbh. Might've been smarter to do that in hindsight but I really told myself it 'wasn't that bad' when it fully was the type of situation those resources are made for. Having since read up on how quickly escalation happens towards the end when your partner feels they're losing their grip on you.. I wish I'd learnt more about that back then so I hadn't downplayed the situation.

You're not dumb and if you can reach out for help then do, don't fall into the trap of blaming yourself or downplaying it. If you recognize it as abuse now then chances are once you're away and can think clearly you'll realize there was more abuse at play than you can even currently recognize

No. 321079

can confirm that getting out is like being reborn. it takes time to work out the trauma, but the immediate relief of not being shat on, put down, screamed at, called names, punched, gaslit is immediate.

No. 321084

Recently started seeing a new guy, he is successful, disciplined, very respectful and communicative and a great fuck. I'm very pleased. But, as a depressive NEET I'm starting to get a bit sad. I feel like I have no life or soul compared to him. The pieces are starting to fall into place that I'm a do-nothinger who gave up on myself some time ago. I know what I need to is pick myself up and be inspired by him to go back to those interests we share and my own that we don't, develop some discipline and motivation, bascially un-give up on myself, but it's hard. I'm not sure I'm worth it or that I deserve him, not sure I'm salvageable. Have any nonnies broken out of a depressive spiral using bf as motivation or have I done this the wrong way around?

No. 321085

A friend or a relationship can definitely influence you in a good way. What's the next step for you? Are you going to look for a job?

No. 321086

Every time you think he might be better than you just because he has his life more together just remember that he's a man and he probably earned none of what he has and has had strong women support him through his entire life and also he probably jerks off to disgusting shit every day like women getting raped or jailbait stuff. A man will never be better than a woman, even the biggest loser of a woman has done more for humanity than a man ever could and your soul is filled with kindness while a man's soul is filled with nothing but gross pervert shit.

No. 321089

Anon this is retarded. You don't race with someone you're dating and if anons bf is into loli, he should be dumped. Anon is a NEET who wants to better her life and her bf seems to be influencing her positively, stop acting like he's an evil incel who's taking advantage of anon.
A man having a good education and job doesn't automatically mean he took advantage of women to get to that point, just because you're a failure you don't get to put down people who have their lfie together. Most women I know have great jobs and got their lives together as well so your argument doesn't really hold.

No. 321096

I'm in a similar situation, anon. Maybe it is the wrong way to do things but it's working better for me than most things. I do the same for friends I really like or around coworkers who look effortless. I think we as humans want to blend into our surroundings, being a neet can cloud that sometimes. Use your inspiration to build a you you'd be happy with when no one's looking (so you can be super impressive when people are back around)

No. 321099

Yeah, context is I've recently moved back home after a small crisis so I'm generally trying to rebuild bit by bit.

Sorry but >>321086 did actually make me feel a bit better lol ly both though.

Yeah, like, I have to be happy I'm building something with someone who is Not a Loser like me. Last sentence is something I'm going take to heart, thank you tons. We'll make it

No. 321155

Cope. All men are evil.

No. 321157

Hi nonnies. Sorry for the boring rant. My best friend and I live in different continents. We're both into the same fandom and for Christmas, I wrote something for her and she drew something for me gifts to one another. For her birthday last month, I wrote her a fic which she loved.

It was my birthday yesterday and she didn't make me anything.. I know it sounds silly but I felt really doen about it. I put a lot of effort into her birthday present and I felt like it wasn't reciprocated.

I told her I felt a little disappointed. She comes from a family that never gives gifts and she doesn't do gift giving with her friends. I come from a family where gift giving is a BIG thing and I always have done gift giving with friends. However she said she would rather not give gifts at all if there's an expectation behind it and said she felt like I was being a little entitled. We had to pause the conversation because she's busy today.

I don't know what to do nonnies. I really hate conflict, I alwaus get worried it'll end a friendship. I don't know how to resolve this. Personally I love gifts, I love giving them, I love receiving them. I still feel hurt. I don't think I was being entitled but what do you all think?

No. 321160

File: 1681247284326.jpg (42.12 KB, 1000x562, MV5BNzc3OTAwZGMtYTMzYi00MmMxLT…)

Just found out the guy I'm talking to has a massive hand fetish… Idk how to cope with this.

No. 321163

kek at the pic, you need to tell us more nonna

No. 321165

Hand fetish?? And a massive one at that??

No. 321173

We'll make it anon!

No. 321178

I met a guy last autumn who was perfect in every way. We really hit it off — immediately after our first date we were talking and texting almost non-stop until early in the morning. We are both a little insane and insufferable (if I elaborate I will get made fun of lol), but it is okay because we have each other to be insane and insufferable around. After a few months he broke it off with me, as he wasn’t able for commitment (he told me, anyway). I was extremely upset and cried my eyes out every day for a week or two, but eventually I got mostly over it and decided that the two of us are probably better as friends (we are honestly too similar). The thing is — he told me this week that he is in love with me and that breaking up with me was the biggest mistake he has ever made. I was just moving on, and now he wants to be in a relationship with me again. I spoke with him today and told him that I would not be able to do that for at least a little while, and he is absolutely heartbroken (I’m very worried about him tbh). Have I done something really stupid? I still text to him almost every day (this is very unusual for me, I don’t have another friend I text more than 2-3 times a week). I miss what we had — it really seemed perfect — but it just does not feel possible anymore. I would like to move on but I worry that I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering about what could’ve been. Agh.

No. 321198

Of course it made you feel better, you're both NEETs who find excuses as to why people are living decent lifes while you're rotting in your room. It's totally because he's a man that he had an easier time, not like %95 of women have jobs and work as much as men do. And if imagining him watching illegal videos doesn't make you uncomfortable but rather confident, you're a bit weird.
If you think someone is evil, don't date them. It's retarded to act like a manhater and then expect your new bf to fix your life.

No. 321208

I don't like the whole gift thing either it's pretty stressful lol. But i don't think you are entitled. You gave her a birthday gift first so that's a sign for her to think of a gift for you that's just polite. Maybe she views you as a less of a friend than you view her? I made a deal with my friends to just send funny cards and not thought out gifs so nobody is stressed or diffapointed.

No. 321210

Men have a much easier time getting jobs, getting promoted and just in general get more leniency and support in life by other men as well as women while women struggle a lot more because we are either sexualized if attractive and expected to work extra hard to make up for the sin of not being attractive enough that the boss wants to fuck you. What are you even talking about? You're either a scrote or a desperate pickme.

No. 321212

What do you nonnas think about dating men who have single mothers and no dads?

I feel like they are often desperate for female approval which can be good if it means they try harder to impress you and are more in tune with women's emotions plus they bond more closely with you. But they also often have incel tendencies and I think most serial killers have single mothers.

No. 321214

My boyfriend's dad left, and he is very sensitive and has female friends. He's just one guy though, I don't know if other men that have a single mom are like that. And he is a man, and you see that socialization too.

No. 321215

You're wrong. I'm literal med student and we have equal amount of male and female students. We have equal amounts of female and male surgeons in most fields and some fields have more female surgeons and doctors. Women who act like they can't get a job because they're women are lying to themselves if they're not in Afganistan or something. I'm in a third world country yet still I don't know any jobless women or any women who laze around like you NEETs do. You're disabled, autistic and lack social skills before you never go outside and spend all your time online that's why you can't get a job, not because you're a woman. Don't put other women down with you, NEET-chan. Don't tell other women it's normal to be jobless losers, you're sabotaging them.

You literally have internilazed misogyny to the point you believe a woman's attractiveness matters the most in her career. Are engineer women accepted to colleges because they're hotter? Are female doctors chosen based on their attractiveness level? No. You can be average as a woman and have a good career, %99 women on the streets are average yet have good jobs and happy lifes because they worked hard.

No. 321234

I agree men are generally more destructive even if they are more "successful" (as was said, they do usually crank it to women being abused).
But I've been able to secure jobs both in minimum wage and white collar spheres despite not being hot nor wearing makeup/heels/anything like that. I'm also absolutely not sexy kek. For contrast to anon above, I am in a Western Anglo country.
I'm sorry your experiences have lead you to think like this but it isn't universal.

No. 321235

I have actually happened to date couple of them and think there is two types of men without father figures.
>has their mom as a role model, more sensitive, has feminine interests and able to bond with women, but can be spoiled
>has bad male role models (older guy friends, action movie moids, social media celebrities), dudebros with fake confidence, able to get with women but are assholes to them, desperate for other mens approval

The incel types seem to more often have mommy issues.

No. 321239

If you are not attractive as a woman you are expected to work twice as hard to justify your existence. In general one woman does the job of like 3 men.

No. 321259

How convention of you to ignore my post telling you that most people in medicine are women and that colleges don't accept depending on attractiveness.
Anyway, being ugly doesn't mean a woman is worthless and should have a hard time finding a job. Please stop telling anons nonsense that'll make them stay NEETs.
I'm %99 sure you never had a job because you assume pretty women get worshipped in workplaces which literally never happens.

No. 321269

File: 1681324201719.png (3.66 KB, 51x72, pepesit.png)

A bit long, but please bear with me. TL;DR at end.

I started talking to a new friend group a Mutual introduced me to. I've known them for about a year now. One person in the group I talked to the most, C , we ended up hanging out the most and had a semi-FWB relationship. We probably only did any sort of sexual thing about 5 times within the span of half a year, no penetration. He kept stating how he was never going to get romantically interested in me. Which is fine. I have never been able to imagine myself in a romantic relationship with him. He's just a friend.

There is another friend in the group, D , who I began to hang out with and talk to more perhaps 3 months after speaking with C more. After a little while, we would cuddle, hang out. Things got a bit handsy, flirty, and I liked it. I could tell however he was interested in me more romantically. I took the shot, and now we are dating.

This however of course…did not sit well with C. He thought I wasn't being serious about the relationship with D. And said something like haha well when you're done with him, we can date and try things out. It turns out…he did have very very strong romantic feelings for me. Once it really hit him that I am trying to date D seriously and see how things go…he has begun messaging me less.

I still consider C a good friend. WE have a lot in common in terms of the way we think, but not a lot of hobbies in common.My question is;
Should I make an effort to still be friends with C? Or slowly stop talking to him, as he has with me?
(We used to talk nearly everyday, full conversations, and lately he only sends a few words a day despite me trying to keep our friendship.)

TL;DR: Good friend became casual FWB. He said he would never be romantically interested in me. I start dating another guy. Now good friend seems jealous/distant and doesn't message me much anymore.

No. 321273

Gtfo scrote

No. 321276

>you're a scrote if you don't think the only thing women can offer in a workplace is their beauty
Kek. Your weak response proved you never had a job. Don't give advice if you have no formal education or job, no life femcel-chan.
Id stop talking, he was fine with not putting in any effort because he had no competition but when you got a man that actually seems to care, he tries to break you guys up.
Are you happy in your current relationship? If so continue acting distant towards your old friend, if you're unhappy and want to try things out with him though that's your call.

No. 321279

Youre either a scrote or the most pathetic pickme whore whiteknighting for men on a mongolian basket weaving forum. I hope for you that you have a dick and balls cause if you are actually a woman who thinks that your male co-workers respect you as an equal at your job you are actually braindead. Go play in traffic.

No. 321282

Nta but
Fuck off right now

No. 321283

He fucked up. You're too nice to him nonnie. Just stop talking to him, and see if he initiates conversation anymore on his own, without any flirting. Congrats on your new boyfriend

No. 321284

male hands typed this
i can just tell

No. 321295

Again I'm a med student and most of my future "coworkers" aka medical staff, nurses, doctors etc. will be women. I'll be respected because I worked for my title as a doctor and no one will look down on me just because I'm a woman.
No matter how hard you cope, being a male doesn't make one superior and being a woman definitely didn't make me inferior. It never has and I don't want anons here to think being a woman means they can't have a good career and stable income because they're not "pretty enough".

No. 321300

omg shut up, nobody cares. Stop shitting up the thread. You are literally retarded thinking that men won't look down on you just because you are *~*a DoCtOr*~* so delusional.

No. 321301

You're dumb because none of us think that. MEN THINK THAT. That's what anons have been trying to tell you, but somehow with your super high med student IQ you have not been able to understand that. Men don't give a fuck if you are the president, an astronaut or if you personally cured cancer. They will still care more about the shape of your ass than any of that.

No. 321320

NTA but the way you think you're superior because you're a mEd sTuDeNt is disgusting. you better learn some empathy before you're treating real patients..

No. 321345

I don't think I'm superior because I'm a med student, wtf. Anon was saying men are superior in work places and women only get hired for their looks which I disagreed with because that's just false unless she's applying to be a model or a sex worker.
Anon is arguing women get hired for looks and get paid based on that which even men wouldn't believe outside of incel places, bffr.
Because they literally don't, what about it can't you understand? Why are anons losing their mind because I'm telling them being a woman doesn't mean they can't have a good career and be respected? Don't you know well respected women with good careers in real life? How is that such a foreign concept to you that you lose your shit over me saying I'm respected and proud?
It's not about me being a doctor, I have friends who are studying to become nurses, engineers, teachers, etc who are also rightfully proud of themselves because they're pursuing careers they want.

No. 321360

>Anon was saying men are superior in work places and women only get hired for their looks which I disagreed with because that's just false unless she's applying to be a model or a sex worker.
No she said that men will never respect you or see you as an equal at their job and that they will make women they don't find sexually attractive work much harder. All of that is true. You are strawmanning and derailing the thread over your weird med student god complex.

Only women respect other women. Men will never respect you because you are smart. They don't give a fuck. In fact they don't like it when women are smart cause it makes them insecure. You won't have to worry about that tho cause you are clearly a retarded autist.

No. 321371

You being ugly isn't the reason your life is falling apart and only ugly NEETs who never had an actual job on this site think the way you do. Ask an ugly woman irl if she's getting harassed on the daily in her workplace for her looks or getting rejected from job interviews because of her looks, she'll probably get angry and tell you you're being shallow and illogical.
I'm not strawmanning if most average or ugly women in my life have happy lifes and have great careers that they're rightfully proud of. Stop blaming your looks for everything and get a life instead of doomposting and talking about how being an ugly woman means your life is over. Your logic is similar to incels who think it's not worth living because they'll never be super hot, most normal people dont obsess over this frivolous stuff the way you do.
And I don't think I'm superior to any of you but I do think any woman who has a good career is superior to NEETs who put down those women and accuse them of acquiringtheir titles because of their looks.

Don't you think a man who's a teacher/engineer/nurse etc. is superior to another jobless man who's living in his mother's house and complaining about women 24/7? It's the same thing applied to you guys.

No. 321372

Nta but if both those men are complaining about women, I’d see them as the same. Not sure anyone could see one as superior for being a teacher or whatever.

No. 321374

Reading your posts in this thread actually, you just have some deep seated hatred of NEETs. Every other line is failure/loser/ugly/retard and purposefully misunderstanding the point while getting defensive over imaginary NEET bullies. OP just said the initial replies cheered her up and you exploded on her. Way too much resentment.

No. 321380

It's obvious that no man complaining about women is good, what i meant was that the teacher guy is doing ok while the jobless man is blaming women for his unemployment and saying women beings included in workforces has reduced his chances of getting hired. Which one is objectively worse?
NEET actually being bullies? Don't think that's possible. They're the ones who accused me of looking down on them.

No. 321382

File: 1681384504736.jpg (35.63 KB, 735x616, 973f3b689f1de35ad807890f40974e…)

>ugly women, attractive women, NEETs, looks, men
>ugly women, attractive women, NEETs, looks, men

No. 321399

File: 1681395117265.jpg (20.53 KB, 622x505, 1657681736991.jpg)

I've been in a relationship for years now. We're not married and don't plan to be, and everything in the relationship is pretty stable except my boyfriend is a cuck and fantasizes about me hooking up with other guys and sending him pics/messages about it. At first I was not into it at all, and honestly am not into hooking up randomly. He kept persisting and bringing it up and I caved and started playing along with it to keep him happy. Sometimes afterwards he'll say that he doesn't really know if he would want me to do something like this, but then he just falls back into obsessing about this fantasy. At this point, I still have 0 interest and can't stand men, but feel like I'm too far gone to get it to stop or for him to change. I've just been putting up with it for years and been all talk no action. If it ever came to a fight about me never actually doing anything, I would tell him if he wanted a girlfriend to cuck him he can go and find one, I would end the relationship over this if it came to that point. I've told him before that I am not into going out and hooking up with strangers, and he just seems to forget I even mentioned it. I do take some responsibility cause I just encourage it with playing along. How fucked am I nonnies? Am I overreacting or just letting him walk all over me?

No. 321400

You caved in and gave it a try but it made you uncomfortable, tell hım you dont want to engage in this anymore and that it makes you uncomfortable and turns you off when he mentions this.
Do you love him a lot? Is that why you did it? You said you didn't want men, is that how you feel towards him as well?
And this is your irl bf right? Not something online.

No. 321402

Nonnies help me pls.

>almost went on a date with my cute neighbor

>just before the date, he asked me if I'm single
>'of course wbu ?'
>he admits he's still in a relationship
>'b-but she lives far away and has a new bf now, it's not like we're married anyway lol'
>I had to stand my ground and say no countless times, he tried to make me change ideas by backtracking and saying actually, they're not together officially anymore, blablah the usual scrote bs
>he eventually bedrungigly accepts things won't go further and I crash back to my place
>today he's been sending texts as if nothing happened, to which I didn't respond

Not only did the whole thing hurt me a lot but I'm super scared that he might try to get revenge or something. He lives very close to my place, and I have 4 other close neighbors including a wannabe-thug one to whom I don't say hi anymore bc he called me names for not giving him my wifi codes. I'm scared what if these two gang up and trash talk me to our landlord.
I may be overreacting but I'm not v good at relationships, scared of conflict and have had a similar experience at work in the past so… yeah

No. 321403

That is basically what happened, I am at fault for it since I've just encouraged him. It will take me to stop engaging and being upfront about it, he would probably just repress it or find something else. Is that how it works with these things? Do guys just continue their fetishes without their partner knowing or do they actually change?

Yes, he's my IRL boyfriend, we've been living together for a long time. There is a lot of love, and I did it to make him happy. Part of me wants the best for him, but for me as well. I avoid men in general, they are untrustworthy and deceptive, other than men I've gotten to know over the years that are OK, my bf being an exception since I know him well. I couldn't imagine being so vulnerable sexually with a stranger.

No. 321404

My bf of six years is so bad at showing affection. He says it's because we're long distance and you can only show it irl. It feels like all he does is compliment my boobs and ass and it's been making me feel more bad than good (I told him that too). There's some other issues too.

I love him a lot but idk if I should stay. I don't want to break up but I'm starting to think that I've just gotten used to being fine with it but really I need something better. It doesn't help that it's my first real relationship and I only hang out with him and his friends.

maybe I'm too attached to the memories and comfort

No. 321406

He's not a good bf if the only thing you exchange are sexual remarks, anon. Long distance stuff don't work unless you plan to meet up at some point and it seems like he's doing the bare minimum.
Anon it's not your fault, you even did something you knew you weren't comfortable with just to please him, that shows how much you care. Just talk to him about it and be honest, I'm sure he'd respect your boundaries.
Most men won't change or lose fetishes but at least he won't force it upon you and hopefully repress it. Do talk to him about it though, it's obvious this is making you feel bad and he wouldn't want that.

No. 321414

Six years of discord relationship? Come on nonna.

No. 321415

Lol you are such a stuck up cunt it's unreal.

No. 321432

Cuckolding fetish is one of the worst imo. There is so much porn that plays into this, to the point where I feel like a lot of guys meme themselves into having this fetish. It's late stage pornsickness only surpassed by transing. I’m sorry you are dealing with this nona. I'll leave this link as a resource for you altho I haven't dealt with cucking in a relationship myself so idk how helpful it is https://howtostopbeingacuckold.com/cuckold-psychology/

No. 321433

do any of you go on first dates with ppl you're not that excited to go out with? this guy has been texting me and im trying my best to not be too critical over the way he texts me but im generally un-enthused about this guy and were supposed to go out soon.

No. 321440

That's not a great sign, when I forced myself to meet people I didn't like the texts, it was always frustrating in the end for both of us. I would say to trust your guts.

No. 321451

I need someone to knock some sense into me. I'll copy paste what I vented about. Not relationship per se,but bear with me
Feeling a bit bummed. My rational side of my brain doesn't seem to want to activate on this matter. There's this guy friend who I've known for 5 years , we've been friends with some funny benefits (not sex because I am not really attracted in that way to him), he liked me in that way but never really made a major move (he's pretty boring as a guy, but is nice), but in the past months he seems to want to distance himself from me especially since one of his friends got a gf and always calls him whenever they go out/hiking etc (introducing him to new people)
In the past we'd go do these kind of activities together but for more than half a year…nothing. He's always with that group.
My major regret is being 100% honest with him, he saw me at my weakest and when I was most depressed, most angry etc and trying to elevate him (personality wise I am too much to handle for him, I am aware he'd be best with a really boring,dull girfriend who doesn't have guts and not someone who's like a lioness and calls him out every now and then).
I knew I'd have to let go eventually but sigh, why is it so hard even if I don't have romantic feelings for him? My woman brain would be a bit irked if he hooked up with some girl but at the same time I know I'd really be to good for him. I also don't like "group pleasers" and he fits into that category.
On another note, how do you deal with men who avoid conflicts and run from the truth? They just want to sweep things under a rug and pretend it never happened, I really dislike those kind of people.

No. 321454

thanks nonnie, i forget to trust myself first sometimes

No. 321455

thanks nonnie, i forget to trust myself first sometimes.

No. 321549

Im sorry you are surrounded by assholes neighbors nonna.

To make a scrote lose interest asap just behave exactly like them:
Be super invasive, if he ask you out again, say you're super jealous and before seriously considering a date, you expect him to give you his codes for phone and all apps, social network.
Say you want to meet his parents, say you need a list of his friends, say you need to see if they all are trustworthy, say you need to know what he does all day and when, be super judgy and act clingy, passive/agressive, be angry if he doesn't respond to you text (the ones you never sent) criticize everything he does and his interest, his friends, his clothes, his lifestyle.
Talk about you period A LOT, be super graphic with lots of details. Say you have super long period 2,3 times a month, say all about it.
Say you need a man to clean up your place bc you are too tired when you come back to work to do it, say it better be super clean, and you would need him to run errands, to cook, to wash you clothes, everything!

No. 321567

>he's pretty boring as a guy
>I also don't like "group pleasers"
>I really dislike those kind of people
It sounds like you just dislike this guy in general, so what gives? If he has all these traits that you expressly don't like or match well with, and you think he's boring, then why do you want to hold on? Do you actually have fun when you hang out together?
Also you sound a bit arrogant, ngl. Obviously I don't know you, but calling yourself a lioness, too good for him, etc while calling him dull and boring just makes it seem like you're very focused on feeling better than him. I'm not surprised that he would want to distance himself from you if that's the vibe you give off in the friendship. It's likely that he picks up on how much you look down on him, consciously or not. If you want to stay in touch, maybe respect him a bit more as a friend.

>My woman brain
Not accusing you of being a moid but why talk like this

No. 321569

> I am aware he'd be best with a really boring,dull girfriend who doesn't have guts and not someone who's like a lioness and calls him out every now and then
This post has such a weird vibe. You're not a lioness, you're a manipulated woman who's crying after a man you admit you didn't even like. And a man that didn't even like you enough to ask you out but rather tried to use you romantically and sexually without putting a label on it just to leave whenever he got the opportunity to meet up with other women.
Get over him and find someone that actually cares.

No. 321578

I'm not arrogant, that probably came off wrong.
the point I was trying to make is that I like to communicate and resolve conflicts and I'm not afraid of a fight or addressing a problem, whereas he is. Whenever we had conflicts in the past I would want to discuss them but he would just run away and waited for things to simmer down, then never ever touched those subjects again. Some of those things eventually snowballed.
He really is dull and I really am too good for him, I am not the only one saying this, you'll just have to believe me on this one.
I have tried several times to pull him to my level and do various things / discuss more serious/interesting topics with him, but it appears he likes a more mid crowd. He declines invites from groups who actually have interests and good people but accepts to be part of groups with people who aren't so smart and are pretty "meh" ( I know because I have met said people, lowering yourself to other's level is not a good idea longterm )
I seriously wonder why I even bother so much with him sometimes.
>my woman brain
a lot of the times I'm rational and since we're always told that "ohhhh women are so emotional!" , that's where this came from
read what i replied to the other anon and what i was actually trying to convey
he seems to still care for me on a friendship level
I should stop being dumb and just let go, he's not bad looking but I've no sexual attraction towards him. He didn't make any legit serious move because he's shy and more of a "follower" than a "leader". We were however really close a while back, used to hang out a lot.
nonetheless, thanks nonnies, I just want to get over this shit because it's like an annoying buzz in the back of my brain

No. 321580

Both your posts sound like you're frustrated you lost an orbiter
You can find another one if that's what you want, but better get your ego-boost elsewhere

No. 321584

NTA. Sounds like your ego is a bit wounded and I sense some narcissistic defenses/copes. All people have them to some degree. If you are young then I think these feelings will get easier in time as you mature, but it can be good to reflect on them a bit then let it go. Also busy yourself, go out there and live your best life like he's doing.

No. 321589

Nta but it's hard to not see you as a arrogant person when you are so focused on saying how other people are dull or mid and you are on this level of superiority as a lioness or whatever.
>how do you deal with men who avoid conflicts and run from the truth? They just want to sweep things under a rug and pretend it never happened, I really dislike those kind of people.
To answer you original question, there is no point for you to deal with him. You are not attracted to him, you clearly see him as someone inferior in a way and you don't seem to like his personality that much since you said he is a "follower" or whatever.
He is a friend who had feelings for you, if he is distancing from you he has his reasons, if you actually like him as friend you should respect it and hope he eventually moves on and you can reconnect as a friend. You can't brute force someone to be a different person for you.
Genuinely concerned with your rational/emotional and the follower and leader stuff. Stay away from these manosphere concepts, they are retarded.

No. 321603

You deep down think if you were superior, he'd still be chasing you and since he no longer is, your ego is wounded. That's why you're putting down the imaginary woman you imagine he'd date or sleep with although he probably is too much if a loser to get any woman interested in him so you're worrying about nothing.
You're obviously mad you lost the only male that was showing interest in you which is fair, we all crave validation and having someone chase us unconditionally fulfills that but the amount of energy and time you're wasting thinking about him isn't normal.
Also you're saying he's a follower but you probably are too. If you were a leader you wouldn't be here writing paragraphs about how you're upset about a random man not chasing you anymore.

No. 321605

He decide to ditch you and it hurt your pride really bad.
That is why you dont wanna let him go and starting to cope, your brain just can't understand how some npc wanna be with other boring npc and not cool person like you.

You are not arrogant at all, its normal, nps are meant to be follow the leader after all.
I advice you to stop hanging around with losers, and find people with strong personality such as yourself, they are much fun anyway, and wont cause such butthurt if they leave you.

No. 321607

If you are better than him and dont even like him all that much why are you giving this much of a shit?

No. 321630

thanks for the replies nonnies, I'm reflecting on this issue , there's a bit of truth in what each of you say so I'll reply to all as I have nothing special to do atm except drink tea and chill
this made me laugh, I viewed him as a special friend
definitely hurt my ego at least a bit
>busy yourself
this is what I've been doing and plan to do because I am aware I need to invest my energy in better shit than this
the follower/leader stuff is something i picked up many years ago from my workplace when I was part of a team that was pretty much all women, i didn't know it's a "manosphere" concept, there will always be active and passive people, those who take initiative and those who follow others, he has ALWAYS wanted to please others when he's in a group, even if it meant hurting others he had friendship with for years, such as myself, this is something our mutual friends noticed as well
my emotional side is definitely hurt and it makes the rational part of me a bit harder to manifest.
I really appreciate your insight, you can always give constructive criticism but it's hard,if not impossible, to change someone.
I don't really care for male attention, but we had a bond of a deep friendship. I strive to be independent and not care about what others say,but sometimes, especially with people I've known for years, i sometimes care a bit way too much
I know his taste in women since I know him very well but was so disappointed when he liked a girl who was literally goblina tier (her hypocrisy was a way bigger problem than her looks tho), and I'm the type that tries to see the good in everyone
about the writing paragraphs part: it's venting, it helps get this out of my systems and it's good to see what others think as well
at the end of the day i guess i'm just hurt and that in a way i was trying to somehow protect him from hurtful or hypocritical people, since he really can't read people that well. but if he wants to choose that and groups of people that are meh, it's his choice
lol it's really funny you mention this npc part, because it fits perfectly, his previous groups follow the same pattern the current one does.
>I advice you to stop hanging around with losers, and find people with strong personality such as yourself
Yes, this is another thing that's best to do in this scenario
emotional bond autism, if I am to be harsh with myself, I feel like a good friend is drifting away from me
not only that but I tried to teach him about some social interactions but he kinda brushed what I said off (despite it being true), he seems blind to the real intentions of some people or just enjoys being a cog in the machine
now that I'm typing it I do feel like he might have used me for company, especially since now that he found a new group he can go back to being a little kid in the park
he's literally the type that would not get into a relationship with a girl if the group was against it, this was a huge red flag I did the mistake of trying to correct and of course, failed

No. 321634

update, i bit the bullet and broke up with her. she was very understanding but I still feel really bad, but at the same time I feel this immense relief and we can just be friends again (unless she decides its uncomfortable). thank you nona(s?) for your help

No. 321635

Nonnies, I really need your advice.
To preface my situation, I'm kissless, hugless virgin in my mid 20s. I always was very shy around guys and was very nervous when guys approached me. Now I'm even more shy because of my virginity.
Two years ago I met that guy at work. He was very friendly and quickly started talking with me. We had a lot in common and discussed a lot of topics and had deep and meaningful conversations. He was funny and kind and always complimented me. We went out together on a walks and I even forced him to go the park with me in the middle of the night to walk my dogs together. He agreed and for some reason we discussed relationships and want we want in our future partners. I lied to him and told him I had a sorta bf in high school. After that we hanged out from time to time when we had free time on our hands. We went out on a walks, went shopping together, all that stuff. He bought me coffee often or paid for my lunch. One time he told me he was sick, so I made him herbal tea and cooked some food. I came over to his place and we played games on his xbox. Nothing more serious than that. Although he told me that he really treasured that I came over and it was very important for him. Also he always asked me about relationships and imagined with me what our marriages would look like (not with me, though. He never said it). We hanged out like that for some time but we changed our teams at work so we started talking less and less until we barely spoke at all. He is still very friendly and all, but we are too busy to meet.
I started to think about asking him out only now. But the problem is that he is planning to move out to the small town nearby cause they have work there for him. It's still very close to our city, 20 minutes with a car ride. But I'm afraid it might mean that we wouldn't see each other if I loose contact with him now.
Am I overthinking it? He is the first guy I feel comfortable with but I'm not sure if he feels the same way about me. Also I don't know hot to approach him at all. I'm afraid it will put him off. On other hand, if he moves to another place I wouldn't see him anyway, so it's not like it would be awkward for me in the future.

No. 321666

>. I lied to him and told him I had a sorta bf in high school
I mean you can ask him out but he obviously knows you like him and he never asked you out so that's not a good sign. He's also moving out which means he might reject you because of it. Give it a try but don't get upset if you get rejected because he needs to move. Good luck.

No. 321693

I’m pretty sure my boyfriend’s mom/family hates me. His mom is always accusing me of stealing money from my boyfriend and using him. Yesterday she accused me of taking $2,000 from him even though it wasn’t true. According to my boyfriend, she sent him paragraphs telling him off. He laughed it off saying it was just a misunderstanding and he wouldn’t even show me what she said or elaborate further. On top of that, I had to go visit my dying grandma in hospice the same day. I don’t know why he would tell me this during this time.. he knew how stressed and upset I was. He tells me it’s not serious and his mom loves me but I doubt it.

Am I crazy for being upset at him over this? I don’t know why he thinks it’s funny. My dad’s mom was always terrible to my mom so this stuff makes me anxious i don’t want to go through what my mom went through. Yesterday was so emotional and rough and my head still hurts from it.

No. 321694

I'd be upset about it for sure. If it happens once (both their behaviours) you can pass it off as a fluke but if his mom keeps on being nasty to you like that your boyfriend has to actively stand up for you.

No. 321698

Maybe she has some mental thing? My boyfriend's granda accuses her daughter of stealing money all the time. She refuses to take any medication because she think she's fine, but lately she wanted to steal a kid from a playground for no reason kek. Maybe she's paranoid about you?

No. 321703

do they seem emotionally enmeshed? my mom was also treated like shit by my dad's mother, so i get the reluctance. if this is a pattern of behavior and he doesn't believe you or seriously start defending you, then you should leave. i'm sorry about your grandmother.

No. 321838

I'm reading more about attachment styles and realize that a lot of the men I've met/dated fit a certain category.
Are avoidant people pleaser males a lost cause? It seems like they need a motherly figure more than a girlfriend.

No. 321935

File: 1681675819699.jpg (38.16 KB, 704x363, nn.jpg)

I'm so tired, nonnies. My actual bf has a girl best friend who he seems to care a lot for, and hangs out with her frecuently. It makes me feel so bad, especially bc I'm an introvert who is busy most all the days because of college. It's very emotionally draining for me, and I have told him before, but he doesn't seem to care at all or he gets angry at me instead. The other girl has a boyfriend as well, but there are things that weird me out, for example she is very attentive with him and even got him a cake on his birthday, they even went to the movies by themselves. I don't know if I'm the one in the wrong in here. I know I have to get out of this situation but it's hard because I'm very shy, introverted, and relatively lonely.

No. 321961

Is it okay to still check out and consider other people if you're in a "talking"/getting to know each other stage with someone else?
I feel very guilty, but there are more barriers between me and this person than with others despite me liking her a ton. She also hasn't confirmed she feels the same. I am also itching to have a same sex experience in general.
Am I just being nuts?

No. 321970

You should break up. You can't change his mind, they may or may not have a thing for each other but if it makes you that sad he isn't the person for you. I had an ex who had a girl best friend too and in the end he admitted to having feelings for her so I strongly suggest you break up.
Yes it's okay, just be respectful to and around that person directly. Don't comment on other people when they are around.

No. 321979

I said something really dumb/uneducated to my SO and they didn't treat me like shit over it or anything, but now I feel bad. What the fuck do I do?

No. 321981

My last ex was exactly like this and I wouldn’t recommend it. I don’t think he’s a fully lost cause but he had too many issues to have something real with me. It was really strange because he wasn’t a man child who demanded to be waited on hand and foot, in fact he was super hyper independent in a lot of ways. Wouldn’t let me open doors and was always doing very gentlemanly things for me and providing for me financially. But emotionally I was basically doing all of the work and having to process his emotions for him. He was never cruel or lashed out but he had a lot of hot and cold moments that really confused me. Sometimes he would be incredibly warm and loving, sometimes he’d seem really detached and aloof, and then sometimes he’d have breakdowns asking me for emotional support but would pull away hard if I gave it to him. We’d have moments of really deep intimacy but it was too much for him and he explicitly told me that I scared him because of this. Fucking sucks cause I loved him s lot and if he had been able to do SOME emotional Al regulation I think we could’ve been really great together but he just up and ran.

No. 321982

that's an interesting view , how was he when it came about talking about things and solving conflict?
i noticed that these men have low EQ and it can be so draining to manage the emotional side of the relationship because as you said, we need to do all the heavy lifting, it's impossible to change them

No. 322009

For conflict he pretty much always wanted to take all the blame and just move on. Sadly trying to talk to him about an issue that was obviously bothering him but not at all a dealbreaker for me is what caused the break up. He basically freaked out and broke up with me before “we ended up hating each other”. His last relationship ended because of a year of constant fighting and a lot of other shit he was in denial about but it’s bullshit that I had all of her flaws projected onto me. He was extremely conflict avoidant and would do anything to avoid it, including taking blame for things that weren’t his fault or a big deal. He was very emotionally intelligent when it came to dealing with others but absolutely awful with his own feelings. He did actually talk to me about a few things but it was very obvious that it was extremely hard for him to do. Unless they want to change for themselves there’s nothing you can do.

No. 322047

so i've been dating this guy for almost 6 months now and he's just like me, i mean, we like the same things and we even have similarities in the way we talk and etc which is great bc where i live i never thought i could find someone like me around. the thing is, he treats me well and everything but he's always talking about how he feels nothing.. i get it, im depressed too but when he talk like this i get it like he doesn't even feel something about me, u know? its just what it sounds like.
like yesterday we were texting and i told him i missed him and then like not even 5 minutes after he just said "man i cant wait to get my next tattoo done and finally feel something" like damn lol maybe im being too clingy and needy but idk
one time we were talking about sex and he said he doesn't have emotional attachment during it and he doesn't label it as "good" or "better than last time" and all he thinks about is "well at least im having sex" and "at least its not with a big black guy" lmaoo
i felt so bad for it because i put so much effort in looking pretty and all…
i see he doesn't even talk those things to be a jerk, he just say it like he doesn't realize it can make me feel bad bc i guess he is that broken and doesn't realize the impact certain words can have.
what do u nonnas think?? am i being too needy?? am i just crazy?? lol
i feel bad bc if i complain abt it i may sound like im invalidating his depression or something like this

No. 322048

He doesn't care and tries to make it obvious so you stop bothering him by telling him you miss him and stuff. I used to date a guy that'd pester me, tell me he loved me all the time, etc and I'd act like your bf in hopes he'd shut up because I felt disgusted everytime he said something romantic.
I think he's just using you for sex unfortunately. I get that vibe from the way he called you "man" after you told him something romantic and only said you're better because you're not a black dude

Stop seeing this loser, you deserve better than this retarded racist faggot.

No. 322057

umm sorry but it sounds like he's just using you for sex, at least he's honest about it so.. if you want someone who is not detached i think you need to break up

No. 322058

File: 1681739957269.jpeg (26.31 KB, 632x486, 30CF8D3B-0680-4688-B1BE-EB2E39…)

thanks nonnas, this is the confirmation i needed.
i'm just so upset bc im considered a good looking girl and have lots of guys wanting to take me out but i always choose the wrong ones to lead on a serious relationship.
fml im tired of dating
guess i wanna be a nun or something

No. 322059

I thought it was just really weird more than anything until I realized you meant he actually has depression and you didn't mean it figuratively. Depression doesn't make you oblivious to other people having feelings or undo understanding that certain things are insensitive.

No. 322062

You're kind of weird for bringing up your attractiveness and the attention you get from men, what does that have to do with this situation? I think you're just insecure judging by the way you spend this much effort on your appearance to satisfy a man that doesn't even give you anything in return. If you weren't insecure and desperate for validation from someone, you'd obviously understand this man was using you as he's not paying any attention or affection towards you.
I don't think any non-attention starved woman would stay in a relationship like yours where the man not only uses you sexually but says you're not attractive and the only good side is that you're not a man. If you were pretty, no one would've told you this.

No. 322066

>If you were pretty, no one would've told you this.
NTA but holy fuck, you sound jealous and bitter. She didn't say anything wrong. Her saying that she has other men who are interested in her and that she is attractive but somehow ends up with the wrong men is a fine point to make. It seems like she's acknowledging the fact that she deserves more than what she's been allowing herself to have.
>If you weren't insecure and desperate for validation from someone, you'd obviously understand this man was using you
Women globally have been groomed into having dirt low self esteem and become "attention seekers" as a result, regardless of how pretty or capable they are. Why else would they date the most hideous, most undeserving dime-a-dozen scrotes? You can quite literally go outside and look at any couple and see that the girl is beautiful and that the guy looks like a thumb. You're retarded.

No. 322071

Last year was pretty bad for me, my grandma was diagnosed with a cancer that destroyed her, she was so healthy and active and in 5 months she couldn't eat, couldn't walk or even stand, all she knew was pain, it was awful. She passed a few months ago. My other grandma has dementia and while she's in a home she's become very depressed about my grandma dying because they were like sisters, they even moved together after my grandfathers passed, but she's a handful, she gets violent sometimes too. My mom has fibromyalgia that has been flaring like crazy since her mom's cancer and she can't drive anymore, she needs help with groceries, paying her bills, everything, it's like she suddenly aged a decade, she doesn't even know how to use her online bank. I'm an only child, only niece, only grandchild and it's a lot. All my family is either dead, dying or getting seriously old and it's a lot.
Yesterday I was pretty depressed and having sporadic crying fits when my bf asked me if I wanted to talk on the phone, I told him no and explained that I wasn't feeling good and that I was going to take a sleeping pill and try to sleep it off. He pushed and so I gave him a tldr. Now the problem and why I'm pissed: he told me he didn't know if it helped but that he knew exactly how I was feeling because his grandma was going to be 90 in a few years and he didn't know what he was going to do when she was gone (he can't work due to disability, lives with her, can't afford to live on his own). I got so pissed like I wasn't emotionally well enough to start hearing him dumping his emotional problems on me you know? I was already feeling distressed about the present and even more about the future and he just dumps that on me, like what the fuck bro? What does he even want? Does he want me to offer him to move in with me so he can live off me? Shit it sucks he can't work due to his disability but I can't take care of more people, much less someone who is supposed to be my equal partner.
Anyways I didn't answer him and we haven't spoken yet. Part of me is telling me I overreacted but the other part is so over everything, I don't want to be a caretaker. I'll do it for my mom because I love her so much and she's done so much for me, but my boyfriend? No, I just fucking can't.
I originally came to ask if I overreacted but I ended up venting.

No. 322074

Yes I'm jealous anons bf compared sex with her to a black man and used her sexually. You're so right. I wish I had a bf that was disgusted by me and thought about sex with black men, that's the dream.
Anon is obviously delusional and she should be told that before another man takes advantage of her again. She shouldn't think what she has in her current relationship is attention or affection.

No. 322078

He wasn't dumping on you he was showing you he understood how you felt. People tend to share similiar experiences to show others they understand what they're going through. You overreacted.

No. 322082

you're jealous because you jumped on the part where anon said she isn't ugly and gets male attention frequently. if you weren't jealous you wouldn't have seethed about that in your post.

No. 322090

Anon thinks a man fucking her and comparing her to black men is male attention. She needs to have some sense knocked into her. You're obviously personally offended because you think like her, that getting pump and dumped by men means male attention which is a good thing.
Anon is definitely ugly, no man would compare a beautiful woman to a man and if you think otherwise, you're delusional.

No. 322117

Man this is another one of those "Sometimes my bf beats me with a meal pipe, does he have emotional problems I am not addressing properly?? Am I just ugly stupid and unlovable nonnas? How do I get him to stop beating me with the pipe without hurting his feelings?? " Type posts that are absolutely blackpilling on the dynamics between men and women and how much shit some women put up with for no reason whatsoever. I wanna shake you and make you see some sense.

No. 322177

thanks nonnie, they're usually so careful for groups but so retarded when it comes to themselves and their emotions and don't want to talk about their feelings, it's very frustrating. I have never seen someone so avoidant of conflict in my life.
I am learning that it's best to drop these men as soon as the red flags show, I've wasted so much time and energy on these type of people , it's just not worth it, it's really likely they really don't/won't change.
>Unless they want to change for themselves there’s nothing you can do.
Completely agree.
One of the guys I dated that fit this category actually has what they'd call a "mommy gf" now, a girl who is like a snake, extremely careful to everything she does and how she talks, she butters him up, wraps him around her finger and he doesn't even realize that, he thinks she's the best thing ever. Seeing all of this from the outside makes me realize I can never be like this, I'm way too blunt for that crap.

No. 322185

my boyfriend treats his abusive, narcissistic parents with more respect than me. i am nothing but kind, respectful (especially of his feelings), generous and not selfish, adaptable and understanding. his parents are passive aggressive, cruel, snarky, unsupportive, invalidating, selfish, entitled, insecure, condescending pieces of shit. they lost their fucking house because of their poor financial decisions, manipulated my boyfriend into buying their house, and then when they lost ANOTHER house, they manipulated him into moving in with him. they act like shitty, manipulative, obsessive pieces of shit and he just takes their shit with a smile. he is constantly supportive and is always seeking validation from them. no matter what i do, its never enough to really prove to him that i'm the one that really cares about him. he wont kick them out even though they are making his life absolutely hell, and he has even admitted they dont care about how him. yet he still gives them everything, and has been nothing but distant and cold with me. its so hard to get any sympathy at all, and he gets angry at me when im emotional so i dont even know what to do when im upset. i cant isolate, he gets mad. i cant talk about it, he gets mad. i cant just journal alone or he gets mad. i am feeling so fucking worthless and alone. he rages at me, but when he talks to them, no matter how fucked up they are, he says nothing. he does nothing. i dont even know why im here anymore. we cant even have sex because he is constantly so stressed and fucked up that he cant even get hard or function. its just fucking stressful, and we are so emotionally distant, its awkward and uncomfortable to make eye contact. i dont even feel like im in love with him anymore. i dont know what to do. i have nowhere to go, no job, no car, no license, and no family to help me. i am dependent on him (because he promised to take care of me, which he does) but he makes me feel more like a pet or a child than a person. he keeps me at arms length, and tries to placate me instead of actually being emotionally supportive and sympathetic. im really empty at this point, walking out to the woods and disappearing is starting to seem like a really good idea. im sorry for posting this pathetic mess on here but i dont have anyone to talk to so i just had to get this out somewhere, sorry

No. 322186

men are emotional fucking retards. you can give to them endlessly, but they are so fucking arrogant and stupid that they take everything women offer for granted and treat them like shit for even trying. no matter how much you give, its never enough. but when you stop giving, they freak the fuck out and get upset. this proves that the things they do to "make you happy" are only selfish endeavors meant to placate you long enough that THEY feel okay. if you are open and honest about your feelings, they get so fucking angry and feel threatened and insecure. if they cant please you superficially, that means they arent "good enough." they also need to feel okay, and because they are emotional babies, they only feel okay if you feel okay, or pretend to. i fucking hate all males, they are only good for working and doing things. in all other areas of life they are worthless. if i need something built or fixed or i need a step by step plan i will ask a man. otherwise i think id prefer if they all just stayed far away from women. men know how worthless they are, and it bothers them so much that they take it out on everyone around them. i fucking hate men

No. 322194

Honestly it’s less frustrating but keep eye opening for me because I’m my ex and I are a lot alike, both good and bad. I’m also super conflict avoidant and tend to skirt around my true feelings in order to keep the peace. I genuinely couldn’t grasp that there are people out there who do care and want to talk about my feelings in a constructive manner and won’t just steamroll them. Seeing it from the other side and how even trying to create a safe, non judgmental space for us still didn’t work really made me realize how destructive that mindset is. I would have loved to have helped him through a lot of these issues but because he couldn’t face them himself our relationship is severely broken.

No. 322223

Anon im sorry you're going through this but sadly a lot of people will do more for their abusive parents than you'd expect, even more than they'd do for parents that weren't abusive. When you're abused and neglected, you crave validation from your parents even more and become a doormat to them.

No. 322227

He is pretty much dating his parents and using you as an punching bag, wont ever get better. Men like that never change and will always prefer being mommy and daddys little boy to a healthy adult relationship.

No. 322228

Unfortunately I recognize what your boyfriend is going through, it's very, very difficult to break free from the mental cage he's in. I'd go as far as to call him mentally ill at the hands of his parents in his own right. Him seeing the light is not something you can force with logic and reason.

If I where you, I'd start planning my way out and start making preparations to leave without letting him know your intentions to leave. If you have no job, find a way to get one. There's always a way out, get roommates if you have to, take your time to plan and leave. Even if it takes 5 more years to get a car and education and a job, do it. Maybe look into help from a social worker or whatever is available to you where you are.

No. 322229

>we cant even have sex because he is constantly so stressed and fucked up that he cant even get hard or function
This is a lie. Mens physiology actually works the opposite, they get hard and horny more often when they are stressed and under pressure because its a way their body tries to get dopamine and release (by cooming). If a man ever tells you his ED is from "stress" he's a fucking liar. He's probably jerking off a lot.

No. 322230

I keep getting into relationships with abusive or closet misogynistic men and it's practically impossible for me to avoid them. Every time I think someone is a green flag, I just attract red flags afterwards. It could be trauma or me being a bippie, because it's been like this since I was a teenager (was groomed by about 5 or 6 men age ranged 30-50 when I was 13-17, and I was a fucking retarded child who thought that I was superior to my peers because I had cool adults interested in my life whereas they only could attract people their age.) and I don't see any signs of change. I think I'm just incapable of holding attraction to healthy people or something, am I too fucked up that healthy love/relationships just seem boring and useless to me?

No. 322233

You need to fix your mental health troubles before dating, if your mental health is bad you'll only attract those with bad mental health.

No. 322244

men just want someone to "be there" but they don't want someone with much of a personality or someone who wants to talk about emotions
if you're open about your feelings, you're damaged, they freak the fuck out and think something is wrong with you, especially if it's negative emotions
women have to do a lot of the compromising

No. 322250

This. I was in this fwb/situationship earlier this year (never made it official because a part of me still had the brains to know it wasn't going to work) and the moid said he liked me because basically, I was the first one in ages to give him positive attention and care about him, quoting some "boys don't get loved" "boys get neglected by society" "we're all depressed and lonely" horseshit. It wasn't long until I realised he barely cared for me unless I test tried some manipulative techniques, and even then, the retard suggested for me to enter a relationship and my partner would fix me, rather than getting fucking psychiatric help.

No. 322252

>I was a fucking retarded child who thought that I was superior to my peers because I had cool adults interested in my life whereas they only could attract people their age
Stop beating yourself up too much about it anon. You still were a child and pedo/predatory moids took advantage of your mental insecurities and instabilities.

No. 322253

glad you agree,some men made me feel insane for wanting to talk about how I felt, they would literally run from this and all conversation would end abruptly there
it's funny that the men who brag they haven't been manipulated are the ones who are often times the most manipulated without them even knowing
what pisses me off to no end is how they think the most manipulative bitches are the saints and viceversa. how tf can someone be so stupid?

No. 322254

I felt like some narcissistic abuser when daring to bring up how he hurt me because it's supposed to be no big deal right? It's just a joke, right? He apologised, so I'm supposed to be happy, right?
"Look, I really didn't like how you said that because it was incredibly invalidating/etc."
"Oook, idk what to say lol"
They're such fucking neanderthal levels of intelligence when it comes to responses unless you're on the verge of leaving them and they send paragraphs of sobbing lovebombing crap.
It's no different from men branding us as hysterical creatures who need lobotomy back then.

No. 322256

majority of men have low EQ (I would say for some it's nonexistent lol), it doesn't even surprise me anymore
I can't believe I begged a man like that to give me another chance when I wasn't the one in the wrong and he NEVER wanted to discuss feelings regardless of how much I said it's an important aspect
being fwb your situation was a bit different than mine because you had the sex going on , right? I didn't really sleep much with the guy in question but most likely what will happen next will follow a pattern that happened to other guys I knew: meet girl who's manipulative, she has sex with them as soon as she can, they're dumb and controlled by their dick, girl is never pushy, they get sex, they're happy, they remain eternally low EQ neanderthals.
My BFF who's with her BF of 7 years has the sam shit going: low EQ guy who doesn't wanna discuss feelings or go to therapy, she compromises and it hurts her really bad in the long run, I hate this shit.

No. 322257

I had sex with him yeah but tbh I think I entered the relationship with genuinely purely narcissistic intentions on my part, but unfortunately ended up catching slight feelings due to dopamine and wanting more kek
And yeah men will never go to therapy and if you call them out for it, they'll screech and cry and say "real men don't need therapy, we work on ourselves, figure out our issues and work on the issues rather than talking to a stranger" as if that's not what CBT/DBT is? They think all therapy is school counsellor level talk because again, they're retarded and then make going to the gym to deal with their issues their entire personality while the rest of their personality traits fester.

No. 322259

>They think all therapy is school counsellor level talk
oh god some of them don't know even what THAT is, it's that bad
if you call them out they'll just avoid even more and make it look like we're the one with a problem, not them
>going to the gym
at least some of them go, imagine not going to the gym and having the personality that we talked about, then these men go around feeling entitled to hot women, I will never not be baffled by the double standards.
sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a dumb woman, a complete normalfag who doesn't question anything and just blends in

No. 322263

"Therapy is for weak minded feminine simps" "therapy is for women, us men deal with our issues firsthand" and whatever manosphere retardation they parrot like they're Jesus almighty.
Gym rats these days though are almost always influenced by the manosphere Andrew Tate bullshit that's circulating everywhere though. They often have tradwife beliefs or believe in masculine/feminine energy kek

No. 322264

the therapy thing really bothers me because they don't want to even try to understand why it's useful
>Andrew Tate
please don't remind me of that…thing as it disgusts me greatly and makes me want to smash a wall
>tradwife beliefs
what do you think of virgin men in their late 20s/30s who actually expect to find a virgin woman? I know a few cases and it blows my mind.
To me it seems like some of those men have some frustrations and think sex is going to be the greatest thing ever (because they didn't have it). and this makes them even easier to manipulate once they get a gf (and obv, they'll get a nonvirgin one , or one who lies about it cause they sure as hell won't be able to tell the difference lol)

No. 322266

>they don't want to even try to understand why it's useful
They want to be "different" from the world, "lion amongst sheep" "clear from the matrix" "lies of the world" type of retardation.
>what do you think of virgin men in their late 20s/30s who actually expect to find a virgin woman?
Probably have never experienced any female interaction or spend their days endlessly scrolling social media incel shit that talks about "find a woman, not a girl who hoes around" sort of crap. The only reason a moid would want a virgin is so he can manipulate her reality and expectations of sex. Really going back to medieval times.

No. 322272

funny how all of them thinking that makes them the same
>Probably have never experienced any female interaction
spot on, they have unrealistic expectations since it's new territory
the worst type is ofc the incel shit you mentioned
>The only reason a moid would want a virgin is so he can manipulate her reality and expectations of sex
they absolutely hate being compared to other men in terms of sex, getting a virgin doesn't automatically mean she won't know if the sex is bad, but they either fail or don't want to acknowledge this
I tried teaching someone these things, but in the end it's like fighting windmills, they won't change their beliefs.

No. 322277

well everything you ladies said confirms to me that this is a mistake and this man wont change. the gym rat mentality, wanting a virgin gf, all of it. hes pathetic and weak and i definitely fucked up getting into this relationship. i think im going to focus my sole efforts into getting out of here. funny enough i started treating him the same way he treats me, starting yesterday, and hes sooo pissed. stomping around, huffing, more silent treatment. after a camping trip this past weekend where i did nothing but watch him grovel at his family's feet, im disgusted and i want out so bad. this man is actually a pathetic little boy. his parents are right, hes not ready for a relationship. when i leave, i guarantee he will choose his family over me. what a joke. they always say they care about you and it is ALWAYS a LIE.

No. 322278

is he a momma's boy?
is he willing to sit down and talk when going through difficult times?
>his parents are right, hes not ready for a relationship
if his parents said that it's a red flag

No. 322279

Gl anon. Are you >>322185? Be careful not to push him too far while you're still dependent on him to take care of you.

No. 322281

he battles me on everything and does literally everything his mom tells him to, no matter how angry he is. he just takes their shit no matter what, and even though he has admitted they dont care about him, he cares for them anyway.

No. 322282

samefag but they are the reason he's like this obviously, they rely on him in every way and manipulate him constantly. no matter how clear it is that they are abusive, he wont change the situation. he refuses to kick them out of his house, and is trying to get me to "help" him start multiple online businesses so we can move out. yet this situation could be entirely solved by kicking them out and selling the house. jesus fucking christ this guy is so stupid, he sure was a convincing liar.

No. 322284

holy shit how old is he? he sounds 18
the situation is shit, get out of there, you won't be able to change him because they're already brainwashed him

No. 322287

he's 30 years old. way too fucking old for this bullshit.

No. 322290

jfc i feel your pain, get out of there asap
he will never change, even if he was madly in love with you
christ, i thought i was the only one meeting weird 30 yo men
i know it might be hard to cut ties since you have feelings for him but you need to do it for your own sake, I'm going through something similar , manchildren are a real thing

No. 322291

i'm sorry you're going through this too. he was extremely loving in the beginning, but as soon as i moved in (which he wanted btw) everything changed. i dont even know why im here, i feel so stupid for getting myself stuck with yet another manchild. this is the third time ive lived with a man and his parents, i guess its time for me to fucking learn huh…

No. 322294

>it's new territory
Ya but the moment they taste that new territory, they discard it and look for something new. There's no object permanence with moids. They have to conquer that territory with their penis and then they dash it.

No. 322332

File: 1681867842007.jpeg (21.3 KB, 699x521, FC9B0FED-BF84-4CFA-B8D9-E1DE76…)

I ran some pictures of the guy I’ve been dating for 7 months through pimeye (ai face recognition website) and 23 pictures I’ve never seen of him with links to 4chan popped up. I paid the $15 to get the links. They’re all posted on /lgbt/ tranny boards asking if he would pass as a woman. Most of the posts are from 2019-2021 but there’s dozens of them. What the fuck do I do with this information. This is actually the worst case scenario

No. 322336

Run? That sounds like well invested 15$.

No. 322337

discovering he posts his face to 4chan is already enough, and he's also on the edge of trooning? ghost the fuck out of him immediately and never look back

No. 322340

>posts his face on a public forum
>has agp

nonnie you already know the answer, he's either severely autistic or a fucking big narcissist.

No. 322341

No. 322342

>ai face recognition website
What is this?

No. 322343

>the only man I've met who is kind to me, generous, isn't too prideful to adore me, practices active listening and is at least good at pretending to be disgusted by porn is a staunch Christian

Should I even let him know I'm agnostic. It's less than a month in so that's why I haven't outright told him yet, as well as the fact that he will for sure end things with me if I say I don't know if a God exists. Ill be sad when this happens. When I date atheist guys they have like no drive to improve themsleves or not be skinner boxing themsleves via simple pleasures every day, and act all redpilled and unaffectionate.

No. 322345

When you tell you'll probably get dumped. I'm in no way religious and I've dated people from different religious backgrounds but I'd never date an atheist, like you said they're all literal depressed losers and if he's religious, he probably won't want to date an atheist as well.

No. 322346

Nah, you and anon above me say you will get insta-dumped but dare I disagree? I say this as someone raised in a Christian community, it's actually more common than you might think to see young Christians date agnostics. My question is do you really wanna date a guy who either thinks you're going to hell or who's just Christian in name because he was raised like that. Or risk he leaves you for a proper Christian girl once he realizes he can't convert you.

No. 322348

should I warn my ex's new gf? he was abusive to me, cheated and hit me and has some sort of personality disorder which he hid at the beginning. i feel really awful he would do this to some other girl SS well..
or i just let it be? i don't have receipts so maybe she won't believe me. should I just leave it and move on?

No. 322373

I'd never date a seriously religious person, they tend to get more conservative with age and major principles would probably clash (like gay rights or abortion), I would dump him but do as you wish if that doesn't bother you as much as me.

No. 322413

yeah it would be a big problem. I'm going to go on one last date and hope we both have a good time then tell him the truth after. Even if he could be the more accepting type of christian, I couldn't open the possibility of spending my life with someone who thinks I will burn in hell or hopes I am joining him on a journey to the afterlife. I'd feel resentful over the former and like a con artist with the latter.
I am sad that it seems like no one will ever align with me completely, as the guys Ive talked to who are not religious will creep in completely amoral ideas like pedophiles deserving sympathy or life having no meaning so why try, porn is great etc. When it comes down to it I have strong morality and principles, but do not participate in religion and do not abortion sperg or whatever else religious people do.

No. 322416

I'd frankly leave it be. I can see how it's tempting but say she believes you and leaves him, will you then feel it's your duty or moral obligation to warn the next one also? And the one after that? Will you ever get a break and let him go? You don't want to fall in a pattern of keeping track of him because of the potential of a new girl in his life you feel you need to warn. For your own sake it's probably best to let it go.

No. 322432

If there isn't any chance he can hurt you if he figures out you snitched, I say go ahead. She won't believe at first but when he shows his abusive side, she'll be more cautious and more likely to leave early.
I'm sorry you went through such a hard thing and you're really great for thinking about warning her.

No. 322445

>meets one in a million man with a real set of morals
>dumps him cause still stuck in edgy atheist phase
absolutely tragic, you will regret this so much later in life lol

No. 322450

nta but I disagree. People who don't agree on religious views are as fundamentally incompatible as people who don't agree on whether they want kids or not. If he's a devoted Christian he'll either dump her or make it his mission to convert her. Never mind the fact that this "one in a million man" probably has certain ideas about the role of a woman in a male-lead household that probably doesn't align with the average lolcow poster. Muslim men aren't the only ones who believe women serve their husbands in marriage etc.

No. 322454

I agree. I don't think the man is perfect in any way but all atheists I've known were mentally ill weirdos. Both fanatic super religious people and atheists are extremists and much more likely to be weirdos than the average person.

No. 322459

>a real set of morals
NTA but men like that usually have sexist ideas of women, are against abortion, and things related to that so that's not really 'moral'

No. 322469

Nta but I knew an atheist guy who forced a woman into aborting her baby after he knocked her up, most atheist guys I knew only supported abortion because it made it easier for them to sleep around without protection. Both sides are misogynistic and don't give a shit about women, it's naive to act like a religion is the reason why men don't respect women's choices.

No. 322470

>Both sides are misogynistic and don't give a shit about women,

The real tragedy is you advertising the one in a million man as if he exists

No. 322496

has anyone dated with herpes and has advice?
i have the hsv-1 strain but i havent even had sex since my last boyfriend(the one who gave it to me without my knowledge).
im scared to date in the first place but this makes me even more scared, i havent had sex for two years because of it. but im getting to the point i would like to date again. my biggest fear is people at work gossiping about it if i dated a coworker or people in my social circle if i dated someone through a friend. i cant express how dirty it makes me feel

No. 322513

She never said she's an "edgy atheist", just a regular agnostic and incompatibility of opinions and morals is a real issue. Also there's nothing wrong with not wanting to date religious people, especially religious moids, have you even seen how obnoxious they are, or are you just a tradfag?

No. 322514

thanks so much for your thoughtful advices i think you both have a good point.
i sent her a message and leave her be, i hope she will be fine and i'll move on as well

No. 322515

Anon originally said she wanted to date this man who's religious because he's the only one that treated her good, she never said she didn't wanna date him and none of the anons told her to date him because he's religious.

No. 322533

I dont think religious people being against abortion is sexist. They aren't against abortion because they want to hurt women, they truly believe that a fetus is one of god's children and that killing it is evil. That's based on their believe in god, not their hatred of women.

No. 322534

Yeah, non-religious men force women to have abortions too and those are for entirely selfish reasons as opposed to religious reasons.

Sorry but religious scrotes are better. At least they have a fear of hell and a set of values they are supposed to live by and some of them actually do. Yes religious men are often hypocritical degenerates as well, but atheist men are ALL degenerates. And if you think atheist scrotes don't believe that traditonal roles for women are better then you're delusional. They just pretend to be for female empowerment to get pussy.

No. 322536

>suggesting women date religious moids because they have """"morals""""
This thread is a mess.

No. 322538

>Sorry but religious scrotes are better.
not in my experience, and the rest of your post is making them sound just as bad as atheists (who are also shit in case anyone thinks this is defending them lol)

No. 322553

You couldn't be more wrong, trad-chan.
t. lives in a 90% catholic country

No. 322554

religious scrotes think they have a get out of guilt free card by being a piece of shit then going to say 'sowwy i wont do it again' to god. a scrote is a scrote regardless of religion, what matters is his character.

No. 322580

I'm not religious but I agree. I'm Muslim, having dated both muslim and Christian religious men, I'd definitely say they're better than the atheists who have been sexpests in my experience. Though I think the Christians and Jews are better than Muslims I'd rank it like, Christian=Jewish>Muslim>Agnostic>Atheist
Most Atheists are more likely to have mental issues and no goals in life, an atheist man is more likely to dump your ass or not even marry you if you get pregnant which imo is a dealbreaker.

No. 322592

A religious man will marry your ass so you can't leave him because that's a sin before God. I'm from my country's bible belt and I've seen men trapping women like that on multiple occasions, turning in their behaviour once she's trapped by marriage and won't leave under pressure of the church and family. Reminder that men literally gain more from marriage than women and they know it. No thanks. And religious men may not be openly sex pests but instead they'll just marry before their brains are even fully developed, commonly after only a short dating period, just so they can live together with replacement mommy (because living together without being married is a big no-no) and so they can have marital sex. There's a reason why the age of marriage is significantly lower amongst religious communities than it is with the general of the population.

No. 322593

Muslim men are the biggest sexpests in the world what are you smoking

No. 322596

Believing that marriage is a holy contract before god that you should honor is way better than guys who don't want to get married out of fear of commitment and because they have misogynistic ideas like "women will divorce you and take all your shit" and "family courts are evil towards men".

No. 322597

You don't even know how bad scrotes in the rest of the world are.

No. 322601

nta but all religious men are fine with marital rape because their sky daddy book says it's fine

No. 322602

funny of you to assume religious men also don't think those things kek also they're more than fine with cheating in my experience, doesn't make them any better than an "atheist sex pest".

No. 322603

Uhh that's not true at all.

No. 322606

Religion was invented to keep men in check because without believing they will go to hell for doing bad things they will just do whatever they want, which you can see in modern liberal men who are all porn addicted trannies.

No. 322608

>Religion was invented to keep men in check
are you delusional, retarded or just extremely uninformed? religion is literally used by men to keep women in control.

No. 322609

Islam outright condones that plus child marriage in the book's text.
>they will just do whatever they want
They've always done that since the dawn of time, religion never stopped them.

No. 322610

nonna I seriously hope you don't think religious men are incapable of raping, cheating, being addicted to pornography, etc. because you couldn't be more wrong.

No. 322613

Have you ever read the bible?

No. 322614

Nobody is talking about Islam. I don't think anyone here even considers dating brown men. Like ew.

No. 322616

Conservative men are the only ones publically advocating against the tranny childgrooming sexcult

No. 322617

have YOU read the bible?

Deuteronomy 22:28–29
If a man encounters a young woman, a virgin who is not engaged, takes hold of her and rapes her, and they are discovered, the man who raped her is to give the young woman’s father fifty silver shekels, and she will become his wife because he violated her. He cannot divorce her as long as he lives.

Timothy 2:11-14
Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.

Leviticus 15:20
And everything on which she lies during her menstrual impurity shall be unclean. Everything also on which she sits shall be unclean.

I could go on but the bible is filled with misogynist shit.

No. 322618

This one >>322580 did apparently so I thought the discussion shifted to religion in general rather than the original topic.

No. 322619

conservative men are the ones putting out laws to make US basically sharia law christian version but religion was invented to keep men in check lmfao the bullshit I have to read on this site sometimes Istg

No. 322621

That still doesn't mean there aren't tons of others who are rapists, cheaters, pedos, etc. and their reasons for being against troonery aren't the same as farmers. Some of them will even let trannies go if it's one who ""passes"" to them.

No. 322622

Yeah but you can just get divorced. I'd rather marry a dude and divorce if shit goes bad than be a permanent gf eith several kids from a man who won't commit to me because he's scared ill get his money after divorce.
If you don't want kids or marriage, it might be better for you though so it's purely dependant on your own preferences.
I agree with you, anon. Most men I know who don't wanna get married just don't want a woman to take away his financial gains which makes no sense, if a woman is wasted her time on a man and he just leaves her without a sensibler reason, she does deserve something in return. That something is financial compensation.

No. 322624

nobody said that atheists are "good guys", just because a scrote hates troons because he's a homophobe doesn't mean he's a morally upstanding citizen kek some of you confuse being a terf with being a bigot and it shows.

No. 322626

That's what I was trying to say, maybe I worded it badly kek but I pretty much agree with you.

No. 322633

Marrying a religious man doesn't mean you can't get divorced. The laws still apply to them.

No. 322634

I'd rather date a man who thinks he will go to hell for infidelity and masturbation than some redditor edgy atheist who thinks polyamory is cool, masturbation and porn use is healthy and trans women are women.

No. 322635

Yeah that's why I say it better to get married and divorce if it doesn't work out rather than be gf bf for years

No. 322636

I agree with that. Not getting married allows men to assume zero responsibility and abandon you at a momens notice with no strings attatched.

No. 322650

Yes. Marriage is important so that your not left empty handed after spending years with a man, I agree with that. I don't think marriage is some sacred thing that can never be broken off.

No. 322660

Yeah so would I, and I would also rather date a man who is pro choice and thinks women should be allowed to work than a man who thinks women should have no rights and stay barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen as god dictates.

Looks like it's a catch 22 and the only solution is not dating (best choice but maybe not for this thread) or dating a completely apolitical, irreligious normie who doesn't use the internet much.

No. 322664

seems one of my friends went through something very similar to what i have
>guy starts liking her
>chit chats pretty much daily
>she replies back, is nice
>basically shows interest since she thinks guy is ok
>this goes on for a year or so
>he doesn't make a move
>still talks to her, they go out etc
>she pushes and calls him out on him not making a serious move, tries giving him "the talk"
>guy becomes super avoidant
>stops talking to her , coward mode
Also same guy
>criticize other women for not being married in their mid/late 30s and not having kids
>he himself hasn't even had a girlfriend yet
>call him out on his bs
>acts like a coward
I don't get it, why are men like this? This makes me tired, are we ever going to find someone who is actually decent bf /husband material?

No. 322666

Bad news. Every man thinks the latter. Just some men lie and pretend they care about womens rights cause it thinks it gets them laid. They still would rather have a housewife who sucks their dick every day, cleans up after them and cooks dinner every night. Yes even your perfect male feminist Nigel wants this. He's just trained not to say it.

Honestly I'd rather be with a man who is honest than with some libtard who pretends he is all about female empowerment and then goes on to watch barely legal anal rape porn.

No. 322667

Sounds like he's not interested or waiting for something better to come along while keeping her on the backburner just in case.

No. 322670

>They still would rather have a housewife who sucks their dick every day, cleans up after them and cooks dinner every night.
nayrt but this is so true lol
also when did guys become so fucking obsessed with blowjobs and think it's something they should receive on the regular? for some this is make or break for a relationship

No. 322671

Nta but if both sides are the same than what's the point in dating either of them? It sounds like a miserable time either way. A man who's not political at all would probably be best if one exists.

No. 322673

He sounds like an incel. When men are mad women aren't married at 30, it's because they think older women should be desperate to get married and a woman out of his league should settle for him out of desperation.
He's still waiting for that to happen although it never will. Bo good comes out of these men, just block.

No. 322682

Can the average moid actually handle their dream woman? I’m not talking about borderline brain dead moids who only want blonde hair and big tits, I mean like if the average scrotes actually met a woman who was everything they wanted do they ever actually step up or do most of them cave?

No. 322692

I have mixed feelings about this. I doubt it. They might most likely end up being intimidated and somehow self sabotage everything. If something is too good, they might thing something is not right somewhere.
Depends on the man though, I think some might realize they won the lottery and actually put in the effort, but most won't and will take it for granted.

No. 322790

It has nothing to do with their politics, that's what all men want. Republican men are just honest about it.

No. 322791

Here is how men work: if they find a woman who is out of their league they don't think "wow I am the luckiest man alive, I can't believe such an amazing woman chose to put up with my dumb ass" instead they think "Wow if this woman wants to have sex with me I must be more amazing than I previously thought… I am actually a fucking chad?! I could probably do even better than her now that I think about it.."

No. 322808

So from my experience, they have this weird victim mentality that's laced with covert narcissism. I once had a moid who according to my friends had told them I was perfect to him. I tried to be the best version of myself personality wise and I have a hourglass shape body so tried my best to look the best for him and that kinda shit. Eventually he started saying self-deprecating immature things like "I'm really not good for you" and overall insecurity. I was understanding with the insecurity as I can need reassurance myself at times, but eventually it turned to "Oh so I fucked up, didn't I?" "Lemme guess, I did something wrong again?" in this covertly manipulative tone, possibly to guilt-trip me into giving validation and pity.
I've also seen cases where the girl is really kind and conventionally beautiful, but moids simply lack object permanence and get bored of every plaything they find. Eventually they're going to still cheat or leave because if they're retarded enough to have the "I want a perfect woman with huge ass, huge tits but a microscopic waist" mindset then they're definitely going to never be satisfied.

No. 322921

Can confirm I gave an ugly guy a chance
He proceeded to post my nudes online and ask other men if he should cheat on me w another girl
Even the other scrotes told him he was lucky to have even had a chance w me and was an idiot for thinking the other girl would even want him

No. 322923

Ugly men always do this anon, I'm sorry you went through that. Once they get a cute girl, they think they can get better, they only realize they fucked up after they get dumped.
I hope his new girl cheats on him for real, he deserves it for what he made you go through

No. 322931

only because it's in direct competition with their own child grooming sex cult.

No. 322932

Literally 4chan's /adv/ board is a great example of this. Half the threads there are incels asking how to get a girlfriend and the other half are men who have girlfriends asking if they should cheat on them. Men will never appreciate anything they have.

No. 323039

I had a coworker who thought like this. He based his happiness on how he has a wife AND a girlfriend. "My life's really good, I thought I was pretty unattractive, but it feels great with the knowledge I have not one but two women who want me."

No. 323135

Time for us to do the same and see how they feel kek

No. 323650

my boyfriend always plays as a female character in video games and it pisses me off, idk if I'm overreacting or not. His current FFXIV character has a little self-made title over his name that says "Goddess of War" and it just makes me cringe so hard. Thankfully she's not prancing around in a bikini but I still feel like it's weird. He gets super defensive and mad if I bring up that I feel weird about it. Am I being too jealous/overreacting? I just feel like it's weird to make characters you lust after when you have an irl relationship.

No. 323654

Didn’t you post about this the other day

No. 323656

No, this is actually the first time I've posted in this thread.

No. 323658

I'm sorry to say this, but you are overreacting…

No. 323660

>always a female char
>"goddess of war"
He's gonna troon out

No. 323679

I think you’re overreacting. You get goddess of war for levelling all melee dps to 70, its a pretty common title. Goddess of the hand and Domitrix are the ones used by
ERPers. That said that games fanbase is degen as hell.

No. 323681

You are not overreacting, it's weird and cringe

No. 323702

File: 1682482554134.png (285.41 KB, 2048x2048, 3a2.png)

Any moid who has ever played as a female character in any video game is bad news, either AGP or a coomer or both. FFXIV is especially bad for this.

No. 323719

Am I a doormat?

No. 323722

6 days late to this but I do actually. My husband is from a different country where a whole other religion is prevalent. Their scrotes are a tiny bit better actually even though I still can't stand them and any religious scrote is a major red flag.
Catholic and muslim men are probably among the most hypocritical and disgusting from personal experience. I dated a devoted catholic in my teens and I couldn't deal with his fear of sinning and hell, despite his big fear he still didn't think twice about his 1tb porn collection or having premarital sex and many of my friends had similar experiences with catholic god fearing church attending men. Don't be fooled by them they're still scrotes and the fact that they need religion to tell them what's right from wrong is enough reason not to want to spend the rest of your life with them.

No. 323725

Red flag for coomerism/AGP if you ask me.

No. 323749

I don’t consider this a big deal. It’s true moids to it for the eye candy, but I enjoy playing as male characters for the same reason. I think in the bigger picture it's fairly innocent unless there are other red flags.

No. 323756

Kek. My ex played as a catgirl in FFXIV, and always played as female characters in other games. Guess what? He had troon tendencies, liked crossdressing, and had some very regressive and misogynistic views about femininity (ie. femininity = submissive). And even if he doesn't troon out, it shows that he sees women as sexual objects. You're right to feel creeped out about it.

No. 323802

Nonna thank you for this, I didn't realize it was a title you get, I thought he came up with that. He has no other signs of AGP/coomerism so I think you're right, I was overreacting. Still a bit cringe that he plays as a female character but he's had that character for years so I think it would be a bit much to ask him to start over.

No. 323813

You can actually ask him to start over, you can change your characters race and sex, it does cost $10 though.

No. 323830

You're right anon, it's cringe and definitely worth questioning when a man does it. It's probably not a dealbreaker by itself but beware of little weird/questionable things like that adding up.

No. 323862

This is a cope. Even if it's a generic title, there's still hundreds of others he could've chosen that don't point to him roleplaying as a woman. Does he want other men to private message him for erp? Cause that's the ffxiv fanbase.
You said this isn't the only game he plays a female character in and that he got defensive/mad when you asked about it. Why won't he just explain his reasoning if it's nbd?

No. 324303

I have a nigel who’s super nice respectful and loving and does almost everything a healthy boyfriend should do, but god I feel bad that sometimes I think he can be a little boring. He doesn’t express himself well with words sometimes and he likes to game and doesn’t like to talk deeply about things. Which is fine sometimes since I like having simple talks too but ugh idk sometimes I want to hear his deeper perspective on something and he won’t say it. We have a good relationship otherwise

No. 324314

that's all moids for ya

No. 324317

Really doesn’t get better than this? Why are they fucking retarded? They either talk to you like you’re stupid or they’re so socially inept they can’t express shit properly to you

No. 324320

File: 1682740896965.jpg (30.85 KB, 1625x204, trucks.JPG)

Kek reminds me of picrel. imo dating a dumb man has its annoyances but it's better than dating one who's intellectually your equal or above because they just use any extra brain capacity for evil

No. 324353

just go elsewhere for intelligent convo and treat your nigel as a reprieve.

No. 324439

What are everyone's thoughts on dating someone you don't really have similar interests with and is maybe a little more basic/"normie" for lack of a better term. I've gone out on 3 dates with a guy who has been very sweet and emotionally open, I'm physically attracted and get the sense he'd treat me very well, but he's your typical disney/marvel/sports/video games type of guy. We have good convos about personal topics but it's hard to see him engaging on more intellectual stuff so I'm just not sure I'm feeling him the way I might if we had a bit more in common in that regard.

No. 324452

Personally couldn't do it. Especially if he's a fan of capeshit. Does he support trannies and believe everything they say on the news too?

No. 324460

It sounds fun but I haven’t tried it myself, I gravitate to slightly weird tastes in people because I use it to start conversations. Liking the same movies or whatever doesn’t always mean we get along though, from what I’ve found. Sometimes you find they’re getting something very different out of it!
It’s less about what the other person likes and more about them not being judgemental about what you like and that kinda goes both ways. You don’t have to like the same things. It’s bad if you’re putting each other down over taste in media. It’s bad if that’s the only thing you have in common.
If they were a Super-duper-Stan it might get annoying but that’s a separate character flaw in my opinion.

No. 324471

Would you seriously date and potentially live with a man you can’t even have a deep or proper conversation with? I dont mind if a moid is slightly less smart than me but someone not on my brain level would be so frustrating to be around long term

No. 324477

Everytime I ask people are condescending but here goes again: shouldn’t I be worried if a coworker likes me despite almost every other coworker telling me I look like a teen? Yeah I guess he knows I’m of age, but is it still not creepy? How is it different from men that order those really young looking dolls and get up in arms when you point out how it’s problematic because “it’s not actually real”? Sorry if I sound aggressive or something, I actually like the guy back I just wanna get over some of these hiccups I have.

No. 324482

I've thought about this a lot, but personally I need to be with someone whose interests and passions are at least in the same area as mine. Partnership to me means doing almost everything together, and so our tastes and opinions should align to a certain degree. In particular it is a hard line for me that my partner must be another artist.

However, partnership may mean something different to you. You can certainly love someone who you have little in common with, and it may even help you both grown. Being supported and treated gently may be more important to you, and the independence that comes with having separate interests. It's all very personal and so may need to do some reflection about it. Or maybe you'll have to experience this first.

No. 324523

If you’re an adult woman and he knows you’re an adult woman i think it should be fine. If he is only attracted to you BECAUSE you look like a teen then that’s pretty creepy.

No. 324548

My relationship with my boyfriend is great but I'm considering breaking up with him because of his severely mentally ill mom.
Her issues started long before we met, but she used to be more coherent and have more stable periods. She's been incoherent every time I see her for about a year now, and she says and does a lot of weird and hurtful stuff. My boyfriend and his dad are the only people trying to help her (they have lots of family and she has siblings, but they seem reluctant to get involved, which I can understand) but they haven't been able to try and get new therapy or reconsider her diagnosis and meds (the meds help calm her down but that's it, and they're not sure her diagnosis is even accurate) since she refuses to speak to any professionals when she's having an episode.
I feel selfish for making this about our relationship when my boyfriend is the one who has to see his mom become like this, but the idea of her being there in all our future big steps (wedding, children) is just awful. She's loud, mean and self-destructive, and I've seen enough of her at other gatherings to know she'd ruin any wedding by getting drunk and insulting my appearance in front of everyone. She does weird/scary things like randomly open the front door and leave it open (so anyone could walk in) or take out knives from the kitchen at night, so I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving her alone with our future children, which would definitely happen since his parents live so close to us. She basically has to be monitored 24/7 and we just won't have time for that when we have children.
I just don't know what to do. We're planning to get engaged soon and he's really amazing, our relationship has only gotten better after all these years, but his mom is so exhausting to deal with. I don't know if our relationship is worth having to deal with her for the rest of my life.

No. 324552

That's a difficult position to be in. I haven't been in a position like that but my aunt is much like how you described the mother of your boyfriend and my cousins and their partners struggle too. Most of them moved to be far away from her, is that an option for you? Have you tried discussing strict boundaries regarding her with your boyfriend? ie if she gets drunk and insults you it's immediately a one-way uber drive home, no excuses? Would your boyfriend be willing to stand up for you like that?

No. 324581

>like guy
>guys likes you
>make up some strange imagined scenario because of your looks that makes him creepy
What is wrong with you? Unless like >>324523 says he's making weird comments about how young you look or something I don't see how this is an issue at all

No. 324582

Anon let's say you're right and every men who likes you while you still look like a teenager is creepy; what are you gonna do then, never date until you're what, 35 and definitely no longer look like a teen anymore? Except you're not in that situation, your coworker, as far as I can tell from your post, has made no indication he likes you specifically because you look like a teen. Unless you have concrete reason to suspect he likes you because of your teenage looks, which then fair enough you probably shouldn't date him, there's no real reason to avoid him. Also teenager doesn't necessarily mean underage.

No. 325216

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A guy i was talking to said he made me a playlist, the songs are from a year ago from 6 months (we've been talking for 2-3 months). And already has another like. Should i block and ghost him? This is unacceptable behavior.

No. 325220

you mean they were added to the playlist before you were dating? lol

No. 325222

Honestly yeah. If he lies about stupid stuff like this then he’ll lie about more serious things down the line. Also how dumb could he be, thinking you couldn’t tell when it was made? Don’t waste your time.

No. 325223

No, this was before i even knew him.

No. 325242

No. 325248

>be me, 20, 5/10
>never go to uni cuz its too far, follow lessons from home
>live with parents from whom id have to hide my relationship
>not much time for a bf (i study a lot) but would like a stoodent bf so we could support each other, hang out on my breaks and celebrate after finals i guess..

how do i get a boyfriend?

No. 325250

Either you move out and engage in a social life or you don't.

No. 325251

haha ok i figured
moving out is sadly impossible as if i can't hold a job along with my studies
guess i'll have to wait 3 more years to graduate.. sucks but such is life i guess

No. 325255

Two words: secret boyfriend

No. 325261

yeah that'd be the plan..
but how do i even meet a person like that?

No. 325265

moids in college would fuck anything, and some of them actually crave love. not that i recommend having a bf in college because they'd try to emotionally mess with you anytime, specially during finals. but it's not that hard really, best case scenario is a moid who lives near college or where you live.

No. 325344

I know a lot of women complain about moids having the emotional intelligence of a baby but when I experience it firsthand it always just shocks me. They always pull the "i don't love you, i never loved you, the relationship didn't mean shit to me" as a pathetic attempt to try and hurt our feelings, like I'm not dumb enough to fall for that 13-year-old middle schooler shit. The fact that they see the need to try and emotionally hurt us to have the last word is hilarious on its own. I will always believe that the way someone ends a relationship or attempts to is always the showing of the true colours.

No. 325844

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what am i supposed to say when a guy i’m talking to says something like this?

i said his family seem proud of him due to their affectionate posts about him and he got very sarcastic and mean when i pointed this

i apologised after, i’m not so good with handling men’s emotions

No. 325883

I’m sorry to say nona but it seems he’s emotionally leeching of you. I used to be friends with moids who would endlessly need me to tell them how life is worth living etc and all that did was drain me of energy and eventually empathy while getting nothing in return. Dont play into it.

No. 325884

"Think of all the barely legal BBC anal gangbang porn you have not yet watched!" that would cheer a moid up, yes? I don't know, their feelings are not real lol.

No. 325886

Ugh. I would stop talking to him unless I was reallllly interested. Even then…I don’t want to be anyone’s Emotional Mommy. If you’re trying to hook up or something just say “I think you know” and let him come up with something

No. 325888

ehh idk anon you're not his therapist are you Kinda off-putting to show this kind of bad behaviour this early on. Possibly mental health issues going on too.

No. 325891

This is inappropriate and not your job to figure out for him. He's using you to make himself feel better (more like using you to wallow in his own pity and have it reflected back at him) and it's not fair. Especially because it's a moid you're talking to. This is something for a therapist, not someone you're just getting to know. It's not cool to unload shit this heavy on people who aren't prepared or emotionally and intimately close to you already. This is a gigantic red flag and you should not engage with this person.

No. 325893

this is a never ending loop nonny, cut him off. This isn't normal or healthy for a person. Venting is fine but if it's suicidal shit like this he can go to a therapist or his other friends, dont put yourself through this. they usually do this to get you to date them or sleep with them or just be an emotional leech to you

No. 325895

I know you feel like you can 'fix' him but it's really futile, he's gotta fight his own demons. I'd even say block him everywhere and forget that he existed. Don't let moids waste your time and emotional energy, they're taking advantage of your empathy. It's just going to make you feel bad and your wasted time on him will never come back.

No. 325898

This is an inappropriate way to express self-loathing, and suicidal ideation. He puts you in the spotlight to give him a purpose, as if you can provide him with a sufficient answer to boost his morale completely? You can’t do that, because you’re not a god, you’re just another person with your own issues. If he said “I’m not in a good mental state, and can be apathetic at times, so I apologize if I come off too brooding” then it would be respectable and there’s room for you to initiate a deeper conversation about it, or to move on. But he puts you in a awkward, tense conversation where he’s desperate for emotional validation and you’re not even deeper friends. If he does that, set a boundary like “I’m not capable of providing you with the support you need and this also makes me too uncomfortable. I would recommend talking to a professional or someone closer, I hope you feel better and I can call emergency services if this seems more serious.” When you press that you’ll call someone if they talk more intensely, then they usually come back to reality and back off

No. 325920

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There was a coworker who I developed a crush on as soon as I started there around 3 weeks ago. He was just really friendly since he met me, plus I liked his looks. He was the first one to greet me when I first went there to be interviewed, then was also there during orientation smiling and stuff. Then I started working and he would constantly glance or stare at me and smile when he walked past or wave before finally properly approaching me. We were both really nervous when we talked. It was mostly weird for him because he seemed confident so I took it to mean he might like me back. He was really sweet and encouraging. I’m a painfully shy and quiet person. Extremely. And I thought I ruined it because of that but he still looked for chances to make small talk after that.

Anyway, I never noticed when he talked to me or smiled at me that that he had gold teeth until today…. When I saw them I felt like it’ll just never work between us, or that he’s a manwhore. I dunno why. For example it feels like they may be someone who is pretentious or like to take care of their appearance and value that sort of thing. On the other hand I just wear really ugly and frumpy-ish clothings. I guess he saw and didn’t care but idk, a lot of men just don’t care, only about getting a lot of sex. Maybe if my suspicions are right that he’s a whore it just meant I looked like even more of an easy prey.

I acted like usual of course. I still thought he was cute. I left work today crying about it though. I had been meaning to apply to a different job (better pay) but was beating around the bush because I wanted to get more chances to interact with him and run into him and initiate to let him know if it wasn’t obvious I was interested at work(different departments). But I finally applied when I came home. I’m ready to change jobs.

I feel really stupid for getting intimidated by gold teeth. But it just seems like we might have different lifestyles. I know I’ll already miss seeing him and regret it and will be asking myself what if, but I’m right for feeling gold teeth indicate something bad right? And at at the least it means we’re not compatible anyway if they feel made to repel someone like me?

No. 325922

I think I replied to you in a different thread and said to find one of his exes to ask if he’s a player like you were worried he was, but if you can’t do that you could just ask him on a casual outing like lunch and suss him out. Would be easier to tell what he’s all about with some discussion, you don’t have to jump into dating. Alternatively it’s okay to just have a crush and change jobs and never do anything about it. You thought he was cute, that’s nice but doesn’t have to lead to anything.

No. 325955

It would be an instan5 turn-off for me, it just looks tacky, who even has gold teeth nowadays? I thought it was some cartoon shit.

No. 325996


Thanks for your articulate and well thought out replies, he got back to me and told me he was drunk, and acknowledged that it was inappropriate of him so say, to put on someone else and that he has no memory of saying it. It was a friday night so it holds up.

He apologised and thanked me for my compassionate response.

No. 326002

All of them are cold? Completely? And you never noticed? This has to be a joke. Are they just grills or whatever it's called? I feel like that would be super impractical since gold is very soft and wouldn't be good for chewing. Is he black?

No. 326006

>For example it feels like they may be someone who is pretentious or like to take care of their appearance and value that sort of thing
Does he act pretentious? You actually know the guy, even if its just through work. Does he seem like he would be a manwhore? idk nona it feels like you're putting too much weight on appearance, but obviously if you find it unattractive then that's fine. I wouldn't jump to assumptions though, if you're changing jobs and still think he's cute you could ask him out and if he's a douche you've nothing to lose by cutting ties since you won't even be working together anymore.

No. 326008

>may be someone who likes to take care of their appearance and value that sort of thing
I mean, is this not a good thing? Wouldn't you rather a male that actually wants to look sexy and not be a fat slob? The gold teeth is a bit extra though. You should just ask him about it, I'm sure he gets questions about his grills all the time.

No. 326044

>suicidal while drunk texting
He sounds like a mess, best to keep him at a distance

No. 326252

i associate gold teeth with criminality, it must be different where you are. i can't even imagine someone with gold teeth acting pretentious.

No. 326655

One time, several months ago, my bf took a very unflattering photo of me after a night of partying, drinking, and other stuff… Not only that but he made it his contact photo for me as well. Naturally it pissed me off so I told him to delete it but to no avail. At first, I thought he would eventually forget about it/delete it but it’s been like 9 months and he still has the fucking picture on his contacts. I keep telling him to delete it but he refuses, saying it captures my “essence” and that I’m beautiful regardless. Cool that you think that but I don’t care. I still hate that photo. I’m also worried that it would be the first pic his friends and co workers would see of me, which horrifies me.

He’s a genuinely nice guy in a lot of aspects but I feel like a part of him is this dumb manchild who thinks it’s funny to piss me off. Like that time he grew a mustache and looked like a bad Kid Rock impersonator (but at least he shaved it after two weeks plus it’s his facial hair so his body his rules). I know this is such a minor thing but my mind keeps going back to this. Idk how to approach it.

No. 326712

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Nonnies I could really use some advice if you’re able. Basically my boyfriend just came to me and said he had a lot of introspection and thinks he’s gender fluid. This has kind of shaken me up as for one we’ve been together since high school and been through a lot, so I like to think we know each other very well. Another thing is I am gender critical and have expressed this to him (and in retrospect he’s taken very well.) To his credit he thinks he’s genderfluid because aesthetically he maybe wants to style more feminine or masculine sometimes but claims it still ties to gender.I guess he feels like this is how his “relationship with gender is” despite my prying and asking how is it any different then your choice of style. I truly believe he’s just insecure with himself/ his body and this his way of coping. It’s not helped by the fact he has retarded discord friends who trooned out and now I can’t help but wonder if they’re trying to influence him due to these insecurities. I’ve already told him that it really doesn’t make sense, I don’t want this stupid shit to be the breaking point in this relationship. All in all my question is what would you do in my shoes? Is there a way to bring him back down to earth? I know this was rambly as fuck so I appreciate any of you taking the time read.

No. 326716

That sucks anon. I’m probably a bit older than you so idk how much my advice is worth, but if my bf came out as genderfluid that would be a dealbreaker. I think it’s moronic cult ideology, and even if I did sympathize I just can’t get assed to perform the amount of emotional labor it takes to validate someone’s genderfeels. I also think people who have retarded discord tranny friends are a red flag. It’s sweet that you’ve been together since high school, but that also means there’s a lot of potential growth for you if you ditch him and try something new.

No. 326718

>gender fluid
>he has retarded discord friends who trooned out
Just re-read your post. If I were in your shoes, I would dump him. This is clearly a slippery slope of degeneracy. The people he hangs out with and his values don't align with yours. At best, you'll just be repressing him until he can't take it and troons out. Sorry if my post comes across as too blunt or harsh in any way, but I have seen far too many boyfriend/husband trooning out stories that I don't want to see any more.

No. 326757

Unpopular opinion maybe but just tell him he doesn’t have to conform to any gender expectations and paint your nails together or something. It’s fine. He’s a straight man if he’s with you and you have good sexual chemistry (unless he’s bi which is also fine).
Unless you think he’s trying to distance himself from you since he knows you’re critical of the current genderswapping ideology. Could be a way for him to pick a fight with you and break up so he can go full AGP or something. Keep your head on a swivel. If he gets crazy you don’t have to stay. Kinda of a red flag he’s on discord in my opinion but I’m old.

No. 326765

Maybe you could sit him down and clarify without a doubt that you are genuinely upset and it isn't just "banter."
Men sometimes bring over the teasing and shit they do with their moid friends into their relationships or female friendships. They're also emotionally dumb so are less likely to pick up on tone. If he knows your feelings are 100% serious then he may change his tune.

Being a man is not an excuse, of course. If he continues after very clear and straightforward communication, then it may be a sign he's a prick or you are incompatible.

No. 326773

If I was in your shoes I would change the photo myself. There are personal reasons for that that might not apply to you though (I’m always in my boyfriend’s and now husband’s accounts and vice versa because I don’t believe in separate account privacy for starters which is a big one, so it would be easy) but it’s an idea. If you’re not in his accounts maybe start with a small one and then work up to his whole phone and change your photo so he doesn’t just change it back. This is if you are committed to him totally otherwise (which if he won’t let you in his accounts and vice versa seems like a big tell)

No. 326804

>To his credit he thinks he’s genderfluid because aesthetically he maybe wants to style more feminine or masculine sometimes but claims it still ties to gender
I’d be infuriated if my moid claimed he’s no longer male because he wants to dress more feminine, as if feminine clothing = woman, and masculine clothing = man. It’s retarded. Does he think you turn into a man when you don’t shave your legs and wear androgynous clothing? Does that suddenly make him question his sexuality that he’s attracted to you? I would just drop him because this is ridiculous and not worth picking the brainworms out of his head

No. 326914

dump, he is 100% cheating on you with discord trannies and planning on trooning out himself

No. 327049

y’all am I completely overthinking following this guy I’ve talked to?? I overthink things and worry I’m gonna look crazy or weird and not realize it. Sorry, this is kinda a wall of text. So for a short preface, the amount of people in my “scene” or whatever you want to call it, is kinda small. Like the kind of thing where everyone recognizes each other but don’t know their names or anything beyond seeing them at every basement show or whatever.

So there’s a guy I’ve seen at a handful of events, there was one time at a party where we talked for a bit and did ketamine together (degen i know sorry), but it was kinda happy drunk people convo so nothing serious and I left to check on a friend. That was maybe like 5 months ago?? Crazy. I’ve seen him a couple times after but only in passing, not really actually talked.

So over the weekend there was an art pop up, and I went with my friend to help watch her stuff. I saw him show up too, seemed like he was doing the same. We kept looking at each other a lot and then he came over and told me he remembered me from the party, and never got my name, I gave him my name, blah blah. We made small talk about the art pop up and honestly it seemed like we were both pretty shy and nervous hahaha, but it did feel like there was a spark yknow? We were both smiling a lot and kinda laughing.

But I suck at showing interest/flirting so I think I probably made it seem like i didn’t want to talk, and he went back to his friends booth. We did the eye contact thing again until he left, but we didn’t do any goodbyes or anything.

Ok SO very sorry to dump a wall of text like that. What my final point here is, I found his Instagram by checking the tagged people from the art gallery pictures. And like I said with my scene being so small, we have like 9 mutuals. But would it be weird for me to follow out of the blue? I just don’t want to seem crazy and then see him at places again. But I think I’m really overthinking it I don’t know. My friends all said to do it?

I’d appreciate any advice/input thank you!!!

No. 327055

>discord tranny friends
He is being groomed. You need to really get him to dissect all of these things without the threat of being yelled at for "invalidating muh gender" and "othering me" that he probably got pressured with by his friends. The whole gender rhetoric contradicts itself and falls apart at the slightest bit of criticism. Ask him what "gender fluid" even means and why the need to define his very being in terms of made-up shit like gender roles.
He'll probably turn out to be AGP and trying to edge it up on you, so watch out for that, but for now, just talk him through it until he sees it for the cringy bullshit it is. It also helps to remind him what the average AGP tranny actually looks like, and that that could be his future.

No. 327083

Thank all of you for the perspectives and most importantly the honesty. We had a long discussion about how I feel about this and it just wasn’t fruitful. He really thinks that him feeling something aesthetically day to day = gender. And when I tried to explain how that doesn’t make sense and you can’t just “feel” a gender, he said this is how he feels and why don’t I understand? I think he just wants the label because all those ultra woke people in this online circle are genderfluid or trans and go by all kinds of pronouns.
In my heart I know I need to break it off. I just can’t believe that this it what it comes down to after almost a decade together. It’s gonna take a while for me to recover but I hope once all is said and done I can come back here again healed. Thank you again for responding/reading nonas.

No. 327097

It's better that it was only a decade and not multiple decades of putting up with his gender performances. Don't engage in sunk cost fallacies. You'll find yourself an even better boyfriend that's more grounded than he'll ever be. Just you watch.

No. 327426

sounds like he's probably thinking the same thing as you nonna, make the first little step and follow him on insta, what's the worst that could happen?

No. 327447

My bf really hurt my feelings yesterday even though it was over something stupid, and I don't know how to let it go.

We have been together a year and are each other's firsts; we're in our mid-20s and were kinda late bloomers. A few months ago I mentioned to him that I was a little insecure about our sex life because I don't really know how to be "sexy". For example for his birthday I surprised him by wearing lingerie, and even though the concept was sexy I felt really awkward and clumsy trying to be seductive. Or we once tried roleplaying and while he was really good at dirty talk and stuff, I kept giggling and couldn't take it seriously. I just think I'm too dorky and self conscious to have a strong natural sex appeal. He told me that he likes me the way I am and doesn't mind that I'm not exactly a seductress, but we could work on me improving if it'd make me feel better. He encourages me to initiate sex more and take charge during.

Fast forward to last night, he came home from a two week vacation. I wanted to celebrate so I got all dressed up and led him to the bedroom when he arrived. We had fun, although I was still a little awkward trying to take charge. Afterwards I even joked that my seducing skills still need work.

Well later in the night we were talking about celebrity crushes and I joked that I could totally get with my celebrity crush. He snorted and said "I've seen your crappy flirting and seduction skills, you don't have a chance". Even though I know he was being funny I immediately felt hurt and he could tell I was upset. He quickly tried to explain he was just joking and mentioned I had even joked about it earlier too and it was meant in jest.

I know he meant it in a non-mean way, but idk, it really hit a nerve. It's something he knew I was insecure about and that it took a lot for me to try to put myself out there, and him even playfully insulting my sex skills made me feel like crap. It hurt to hear him say it out loud. Especially since I tried hard to please him just a couple hours before. He apologized and said he didn't mean to be a jerk and that he appreciated my attempts to get better at sex. I knew he was genuine and I told him it was okay so we could move on. But the vibe was ruined and we just went to sleep with tension in the air. This morning I still felt weird about it but didn't bring it up, and he's been sweet but there's still some left over weirdness in the air.

I don't know if I should address it. He already said sorry and I know it's not a big deal and I should move on. But I still can't shake the hurt feelings. I don't think he realized how sensitive I was about it but as dramatic as it sounds it really put a dent in my confidence. Am I insane and a immature crybaby or is this something that might warrant a conversation?

No. 327449

God, didn't realize how long this was. Just wanted to clarify/tldr; i was hurt that he accidentally insulted/fueled an insecurity I have about my sensuality during an attempt at a joke, and i have shitty conflict resolution skills

No. 327450


It's really NBD , just tell him you were in your own feelings because your lack of game has been a previous source of unhappiness, but that you appreciate that he noticed your discomfort . Cook/order him something he likes and write it in a note you can place on top then leave it around for him to find. I find apologies that come with gestures tend to get it over with faster because the urge to thank you takes over

No. 327459

Thanks. I agree. He seems like a genuinely good and self aware dude for the most part (not trying to Nigelpost honestly) but moids are gonna moid unfortunately. I’m still trying to figure out a way to express my feelings in a way he gets it though.
I’ve thought about taking his phone and deleting the pic myself multiple times. But I don’t have his passcode memorized. Plus I’m not the type to go into his SM accounts and text messages. It’s too much effort on my part and I don’t really feel the need to do so with him because he’s pretty transparent. Now it could turn out that I was wrong all along but he hasn’t given me a reason to think that just yet. Not trying to come off as a pickme, but I’m a pretty independent person and I would be mortified if he wanted access to my phone so I take the same approach with people I date. Honestly, I just want that damn photo deleted. I do appreciate your advice though.

No. 327460

>Well later in the night we were talking about celebrity crushes and I joked that I could totally get with my celebrity crush
You are extremely immature, especially for making this comment and then getting mad that he bantered back with you. Celebrity crushes, really? Are you both 15?
Either way, if it's still bothering you you should talk about it with him again instead of quietly seething to yourself. Maybe you both can agree that jokes about your flirting/seduction skills are off-limits because its a sore spot for you. It's okay to have boundaries.

>Cook/order him something he likes and write it in a note you can place on top then leave it around for him to find.
Why the fuck does she have to do that pickme bullshit for him? He's the one that hurt her. If anyone should be making up, it's him, not her.

No. 327469

Why do you think you need to become some seductress? Most men don't expect this and don't even want this. Has your boyfriend expressed his desire for you to be more sexy and take charge? It feels like you have this vision from porn or movies. Most people irl don't put on a show in the bedroom and don't do a whole routine with lingerie and stripping. Any man I have ever been with actually disliked this kind of stuff cause its awkward and performative. Men don't really care about presentation as much as women do and they are happy to just see you naked and have sex. Stop stressing yourself out for literally no reason.

No. 327472

You really need to let this faux seductress personality go anon. Have you considered that he doesn't really want you to be like that? He's not asking for it.

No. 327484

You should just embrace being a dork. If seductress does not come naturally to you, don't force it. There's more than one way to be in touch with your sexuality, but I feel like you're trying to mold yours off memes and porn instead of evaluating yourself as a person. It's fine to dress sexy and want to be in command, that's not only for the femme fatales of the world. Literally just be yourself and your natural sex appeal will shine through. Right now you're dulling it with the act you're putting on.

No. 327497

thank you nonnies, you're right; I might be forcing this too much.

tbh, the insecurity developed because I'm not very "active" in bed…like I'm not a complete starfish but he does most of the work. For example I tried to give him oral a few times early in our relationship but it wasn't very good so we just stopped attempting (he said he doesn't think it's something he enjoys), I don't really get on top often, etc. basically our intimacy has a lot of him giving and me receiving. While we both enjoy ourselves, it does frustrate me that our sex life doesn't feel equal, in terms of he knows how to do things that make me feel good but I don't really know how to do the same to him. He says he's fine with that and that he gets joy from giving me pleasure, but ugh it makes me feel like I'm technically bad in bed and he might grow to resent that over time.

I figured I could make up for it by putting effort into being sexy, but I don't seem to be great at that either. He's never asked me to, but he has said he wants me to have more confidence and be more assertive (his words were sex is something he wants to do "with me" not "to me".) and that he wouldn't mind if I took more charge. But maybe my approach is wrong…y'all are right, I'm just doing what I've seen in porn/media instead of what feels natural for us. I need to focus on being in tune with myself instead

No. 327504

Work on your actual confidence instead of skinwalking pornstars, sex will be a lot more enjoyable for the both of you. You honeslty sound like a child pretending to be an adult and doing what you think adults do, instead of being the (hopefully) grown woman that you are and embracing what you enjoy doing.

No. 327508

I know that I want children, I've always wanted children. My fiance and I have come to the agreement that I will take a break from my job (I'm self employed and work from home) to raise our children. He is work from home mostly too, so he will be there to help a lot
But my main issue is the fact that he wants more children than I do. I want 2, that's my ideal. He wants 4+ and that just sounds so exhausting and expensive to me. I want time with my partner too, I don't want 4+ kids to be the end of our marriage. It seems like having more than 2/3 kids would take away so much time from us and we'd start having marital issues

I don't know what kind of advice I'm looking for here. Just anything, before I do start having kids with this man

No. 327518

To me it sounds like you’re inexperienced and not sure what you enjoy sexually. When guys say they want a girl to be more assertive, it often means he wants you to show you’re super into him and enjoying yourself, basically make him feel like HE is amazing at sex. This strokes the male’s ego. However it’s difficult when you’re inexperienced and not certain of what you enjoy. Might be what he's doing is simply not working for you.

My bf isn’t that into blowjobs either, he prefers PIV 100% of the time which means I am passive most of the time. At risk of sounding like a pickme I really enjoy giving them though kek. I insisted on doing it and I think the fact that I am so enthusiastic and turned on by it makes it sexy to him. You don’t have to enjoy giving blowjobs to be good at sex, but I think both genders enjoy feeling desired and like their partner is having a good time.

No. 327534

Samefag, I forgot to say even if you are doing PIV it doesn’t mean you have to be completely passive. With my bf I’ll still be vocal, kiss him, touch his face/body, thrust back towards him and so on. During missionary I like to keep my hands on his butt and pull him in to angle his dick better kek. There are lots of little things you can do to feel like you are being more involved.

No. 327651

A guy saying he doesn't enjoy blowjobs is 100% because you are bad at it and give carrot grater head, kek. It took me like 2 years to get really good at them by practising on my bf and now I can make teleport him into another dimension with my mouth. It just takes some time to learn the technique and also depends on the guys size. Guys with really big dicks just dont get to enjoy blowjobs the same as normal sized ones.

No. 327661

Kek anon. I don't think I give carrot grater head, but this guy def responds different than my ex did and sucks at verbal feedback, so it's a transition learning what works for him. I genuinely enjoy the challenge of it. Kudos to you for having mastered the arts with your current bf.

I do think there are guys who genuinely prefer PIV over bjs, but there's a difference in disliking something and preferring one thing over the other

No. 327667

Thats fair. I just meant if a guy says he doesn't like blowjobs at all thats usually cause he never had a good one or he is trying to be nice so you stop chomping down on his dick as he's trying not to cry and hurt your feelings. It's definitely something you need to figure out for each guy what technique works best on their anatomy.

No. 327674

any tips teleportation nonna?

No. 327677

All you need to do is be confident in yourself and remember you're also supposed to enjoy the sex. You're going to stress both of you out if you focus too much on trying to be someone you're not. Basically just get out of your head and into the moment. Are you comfortable with him? Do you often find yourself dissociating during sex or having anxiety about your performance?

No. 327679

NTA but a lot of guys like it when you play with their balls/shaft. Bonus if you're good at deep throating. A tip for that is to try and hold your breath and relax your throat. Don't just ram it in your mouth and remember to wrap your lips around your teeth lol.

No. 327681

>Be me, talking to a moid I’m half friends half fwb
>Both of us are sexually compatible
>Ask him if some time he can roleplay/cosplay my husbando in bed, he’s known about my infatuation with him for months
>He says no because it’s “uncomfortable” bc of the type of character he is
>We’ve definitely done more unholy things and I’ve indulged in his fetishes which I definitely shouldn’t have if he’s gonna be a little bitch about something so small

What should I do?

No. 327690

I don't think deepthroating is a prerequisite for giving good head. If you wanna try it out go ahead, but it's more advanced imo. If anon is struggling with feeling confident I would focus more on the basics and getting comfortable, rather than jumping straight into deepthroating him. I think any sexual act should come from a place of wanting to do it rather than trying to impress someone. My bf is a pretty good size so I use my hands a lot and do most of the mouth/tongue action around his head/frenulum, but you can alternate between this and taking more of him into your mouth. If he is quiet like mine is, pay attention to his body language; how his dick reacts, his breathing, are his hips moving and so on. You can also straight out ask him how this or that feels. I think mine feels a bit awkward just lying there, so he likes being able to touch my back or head while I go at it.

No. 327693

Yeah it isn't! I didn't mean to imply that, I just mentioned it because most guys go crazy when they have a GF who can. I wouldn't recommend someone who's inexperienced try to deepthroat either. You're absolutely right and have good advice.

No. 327694

what character is it nona, that changes my response tbh

No. 327697

I gotcha, no worries. Just wanted to put it out there in context of the previous anon, because someone will always interpret it as needing to learn deepthroating to please their beloved kek

No. 327699

Uh um uh uh

No. 327709

don't tell me you're spongebobchan doing that again…

No. 327711

I’m not SpongeBob chan, bless her tho

No. 327757

It depends on the guy and his penis, tbh. Mine is circumcised so he likes a lot of stimulation with the tongue on the underside of the shaft rather than the head directly and while other guys like having their balls played with he doesn't like that at all. I think what took me the longest time to learn was how to suck on it and keep the suction intact as you move it in and out of your mouth and also move your tongue to massage it at the same time. When I started out I could get absolutely no suction while also doing anything else. It really takes practise. Also I found wrapping two fingers around the shaft at the very base is something he likes a lot, but not really using my hands other than that. Hands free looks impressive to him so sometimes I will do that too. The tongue work is the most important part tho even if you are a beginner you can do this. Absolutely don't just let your tongue be a dead fish in your mouth during the bj, it needs to push against his dick and move around, rubbing it, circling, flicking. And you need to listen to his breathing and note his reactions to what you are doing and time everything right, speed up when you feel its time but slow down again to tease him a little and draw it out. Basically the more you know the guy and his dick and what he likes the better you will become. But it takes some effort. I hated giving bjs at first but now it's super easy and my bf is someone who almost never makes any noise during sex but during blowjobs he can't help himself but moan and gasp and that is so cute to me so it's worth it.

No. 327758

Forgot to mention that its really important to wrap your lips around your teeth for protection and to watch out for the molars too.