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/g/ - girl talk

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No. 297612

No. 297624

ok this might be a necro but, what the fuck? I had no idea this show in particular if I'm thinking of the right one entailed all this. Literally all my male friends swear by this show. My recently ex'd boyfriend thought it was great. They all told me not to watch it because I "wouldn't like it". Oh my god.

No. 297638

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reminder that this is a thread for relationship problems and long distance is not a relationship

No. 297645

you probably mean online dating, not LDR

No. 297654

NTA but online dating usually refers to Tinder and stuff, at least to normal people. LDRs are only a real, reasonable thing if it's like "we have been together for years and now one of us is away for work for a few months". Basically everything else is bs even if it's not a straight up Discord kitten situation.

No. 297662

Damn, i wanted to correct anon and ended using a wrong term myself; online relationships is what I meant. Now it's too late but maybe next time we could have >>271193 in the thread description to redirect anyone who would need advice about these?

No. 297665

i think this is really common for hetero women and in addition to the not-my-nigel/finding the right guy thing, a lot of aspects of modern life stunt or dampen your sexual attraction and you don't even realize it until it's back. it doesn't have to be anything severe like effects of BC or antidepressants. things like a sedentary or almost sedentary lifestyle, being very cerebral in your work and interests, living in a very synthetic or restrictive environment, can all effect how you experience your sexual attraction. i think female horniness is on much more of a broad spectrum throughout or lives and cycles, in contrast with scrotes who act perma-horny in any context until they chemically or physically restrain their dicks lol.

getting a labor type job outdoors changed my sexuality in ways that really shocked me. it's not like i had never been in nature or exercised before, but the regularity and physicality of it seemed to awaken the aspects of my sexual attraction to men that i was unaware of or too shy to explore. it even made me turned on by the the way some dicks look and crave PIV sex for the first time It was like I had been repressing my inner horny cavewoman and didn't even believe she existed until the environment and work I was in woke her up.

i think many, many women experience or have experienced a type of attraction to men that's kind of nebulous and detached from real life sex, and they think it means they're asexual/comphet when actually there's a whole hidden aspect to their sexuality that's been lying dormant for one reason or several.

No. 297684

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recently i found out that my boyfriend of 8 months is bisexual and has had multiple serious relationships with dudes. he lied to me about a lot of his past and i only found out from going through his discord (which is bad ik) he was a top and into twinky guys but i can’t help but feel really weird and insecure. he still follows some twinks on insta and likes their pics and it just makes me feel fucking shit especially considering i have always wished i was born a man since i was a child (thought i was a troon for a long while, but got over it). i also found his porn history a while ago and it was a lot of sissy stuff and trans stuff (no mtf but there was ftm) - after finding it i asked him to stop watching porn but he says that it’s difficult because of stress, i asked him the other day when the last time he watched it was and it was around 2 weeks ago so he definitely hasn’t stopped.

it makes me feel even worse knowing that the porn he is looking at is really close away from what i am physically. he’s also cheated before on one of his male partners with a woman, but he said it was because that he felt ashamed of being in a relationship with a guy so he wanted to sext a girl. i am just worried that i will never be enough for him and eventually he will look for sex from men.

No. 297687

The vaaast majority of straight women are repulsed by men which is perfectly normal and I believe your case is an isolated incident. My libido is practically non-existent now that I'm no longer a neet and regularly exercise. I don't even particularly care about hot boys, it was all just a way to spend my excessive free time. People (women) don't actually need to have sustained sex drives as we would reproduce regardless of what we wanted. Grandma would have 15 kids because grandpapi didn't give a fuck about her, and so on and so on. Women who feel "asexual" passed on their genes just as much as those who didn't. It's such a coin toss.
I believe the opposite of your experience is the norm (being indoors grooms you into arousal with artificial porn and going outside & seeing how ugly men are irl sterilizes you.)

No. 297701

>bisexual moid
>lied about having multiple serious relationships with dudes
>follows twinks on instagram, likes their pictures
>porn history full of sissy and trans stuff (ftm, as if that makes it any better)
>cheated on a male partner with a woman
This is a dumpster fire. Leave, get tested for STDs, and move on. This will not get better, you will just be insecure and paranoid, and I really don't blame you considering he sounds incredibly promiscuous and untrustworthy

No. 297702

i’m going to get tested as soon as i can. he said that he got tested before we got together but i want to be cautious tbh. it just sucks because i haven’t been in such a good relationship before in my life but i know that i’m gonna have to break it off. ugh

No. 297703

Whatever he was doing that was good I'm sure can be done by someone who is more trustworthy and respectable

No. 297716

I got sick this way, get tested no matter what because men lie about results and you can't verify shit unless you see the results yourself like same day. I firmly believe that bisexual men cannot be trusted, but especially if he's already slept with men AND cheated before. This whole shitshow is red flags. Trust your gut.

No. 297739

NTA, but I think a big reason for this also comes down to the way that a lot of men treat sex. Men and women just look at sex differently imo, even women who go for casual tinder hookups don’t look down on their partners, they see it as consensual fun, but there’s always a lot of judgement or bragging from guys. It’s not perceived the same way. The fact that so many men will share revenge porn of their exes speaks for itself, it’s a very unattractive dynamic. Even if I were a super hetero, penis-loving woman, the way men treat the women they have sex with is enough to make me wanna become a nun. Yeah I know, not all men do this, but it’s widespread enough to be a problem. A lot of guys either don’t care about your pleasure or will straight up talk shit about you when they’ve gotten what they want. They see sex as bragging rights that they got to fuck you. Of course a lot of women are turned off by this, it’s gross. I’ve never had a female friend say “I fucked this guy that was [porn category]” but I’ve definitely heard it from male friends. It doesn’t surprise me at all that so many women think they are asexual when so many men have gross attitudes about sex.

No. 297745

File: 1667638353332.gif (3.61 MB, 400x259, Tumblr_l_145914259039857.gif)

I confronted my bf on the fact that we never have sex and he confessed that he has no libido. He basically said he only really fucks me because he knows how much it means to me. I'm devastated and want to cry. I thought this was the man I was going to marry and start a family with. I don't know what to do. I love him so much but it makes me feel terrible about myself. I have never felt more unattractive and undesirable. He said he would get his blood and testosterone checked but I feel so hopeless.

No. 297747

>men: want to have sex with women
>men: look down upon the women who have sex with them
>also men: wonder why women don't want to have sex with them
basically men.

No. 297750

Maybe he is gay?

No. 297752

That's an awful situation to be in but just remember, it isn't your fault. Do you know if he masturbates? Does he literally have no libido? Was he always like this?

No. 297753

Where can I find a guy like this? I have no desire for sex at all but I want a relationship and I thought that such heterosexual men don't even exist.

No. 297756

What's his diet?
Does he take any drugs?
What's his job situation?
How much background stress he goes through?
How well he sleeps?
Does he workout?

There are lots of things that can pile up together to mute person's libido.

No. 297765

>no libido
Bet you he jerks off to porn still. He's just got brainrot and isn't interested in the real thing anymore.

No. 297766

How do you help your partner achieve their goals without making them feel too pressured? My boyfriend is having a hard time getting started on his dissertation, and I want to support him. I was thinking of asking him what the process entails, then I can break it into small steps for him and then we can come up with a schedule together, and I'll hold him accountable to it. Do you think that will work? Has your partner ever helped you achieve something and what steps did they take to do so? I have ADHD so I fucking suck at planning things. When I was in school I just forced myself to do things at the last possible second, kek.

Also, trust me, I'm not babying him. He's responsible and hard-working; he is just juggling multiple things at the moment and I want to lighten the load for him. He's also really supported me and encouraged me with my career path, so the support is mutual.

No. 297768

What kind of loser can't do his own dissertation?

No. 297769

>He basically said he only really fucks me because he knows how much it means to me.
He sounds heavily manipulative. Id run before he claims you sexually assaulted him

No. 297770

I think your idea is already very solid, go through with it, but I wonder about "holding accountable" part; not sure how could you go about that. Ultimately it's his responsibility and if he chooses to fail in the end, it's on him. Breaking it up into smaller steps is the best way to start though, so I'm sure he'd appreciate if you'll work together with him on that. Once you plan out a schedule it would be best if you just remind him of that and milestones that are supposed to be met, but what more he does with that, it has to be on him.

No. 297771

He works full time, does all the chores, cooks for me, and spends all of his free time with me. It's not like he's sitting at home wanking to gay furry hentai all day like I do.
Thanks nonna. You're right, by holding him accountable, I just meant checking in on him and reminding him. I know I can't force him but sometimes people need a push to get started. He's also encouraged me when I was putting off stuff too.

No. 297772

>He works full time, does all the chores, cooks for me, and spends all of his free time with me. It's not like he's sitting at home wanking to gay furry hentai all day like I do.
Uhmm.. maybe you could be supportive of him by doing the chores and cooking yourself instead of wanking to furry hentai? The fuck is wrong with you? Is this a troll post?

No. 297773

I work from home. I was poking fun at myself because people like to assume if your nigel dare needs help with anything he's jerking to porn all day or whatever.
But anyway, he doesn't want me to do the chores so he does them. Why should I help him in ways he doesn't want to be helped, rather than with something he actually needs help in? Why are you so mad? You have nothing better to do than call people losers instead of giving advice?

No. 297774

No wonder your bf is about to have a fucking burn out, he babysits you full time as well as playing chef and maid for you while working full time AND writing a dissertation. He must be building a lot of resentment for you lazy slob.

No. 297776

I work full time too. He is kind and does the chores because he wants to, not because I give him no choice. Every time I've tried to while he's gone he tells me he wants to do them and I shouldn't have to do them. If I try to do them while he's home he takes over instead. What am I supposed to do, hold him at gunpoint while I do chores? Or actually help him with something he's having trouble with? Stop projecting your shitty experiences on me because your partners forced you to do chores because they were literally incompetent.

No. 297777

Pointless to argue with resentful anons here nonna. You have a good idea to help your partner, as anyone in relationship should do.

No. 297779

Sage because sperging and it is more of a decision than actually asking for advice and I want to know the nonnies' opinion on this, but I gonna break up with the moid who is going to be my ex-bf. I hate not being respected and I asked him more than once for him to stop following normal and cosplay thots and he told me he would do only to keep following. I am tired of being a pickme for an useless asshole that only cares for hentai, porn and Mikomi Hokina, Belle Delphine and epicinternetgf or whatever her name is.

No. 297785

Sounds like he treats you like a child who can't do anything for herself. He probably doesn't let you do the chores because you have learned helplessness and do a half-hearted job at them, so when he comes home he still has to do them over again. Usually it's men exhibiting this behavior and the women who babysit them. Quite unusual that you are the scrote in your relationship, kek.

No. 297792

Dunno anon. I guess what you're saying is possible but nothing in anon's posts hits that learned helplessness is going on so it's kind of random you're stating it as if that's almost definitely what's going on.

No. 297793


No. 297794

oh boo hoo he studies and works and cleans up after himself like literally pretty much everyone. how do i support my poor manbaby who has to, gasps, be a regular adult?????

No. 297810

He doesn't just clean up after himself, he does all the chores for both of them and cooks for her as well. The obvious answer how to help him is to take on some duties in the house like a fucking adult.

No. 297815

>He doesn't just clean up after himself, he does all the chores for both of them and cooks for her as well.
so he does what most women in the world somehow manage to do minus childcare. wah wahh wahhh.

No. 297816

Maybe he has OCD and prefers doing it by himself? I live with my brother and I don't want him to do chores because I don't like how he does it, it does nothing wrong but I prefer my (completely arbitrary) way, sometimes I come home and I see he has done the laundry or anything else and it pisses me off I probably sound insane lol

No. 297818

He does it because I once half-jokingly told him I didn't like doing chores, and when we moved in together he wanted to do them for me. He feels bad when he sees me doing them so he takes over. I'm not abusing him or pretending to be incompetent just to get him to do chores.
I regret asking for advice, can someone else volunteer to be roasted already?

No. 297819

>He feels bad when he sees me doing them so he takes over.
I was with you before cause it sounded like other anons were just projecting but now it does really sound like you're just helpless and he sees you as a child

No. 297822

Because he's considerate of me? How does that make me childish?

No. 297824

Not roasting or saying this in a mean way but honestly… insist on taking on some chores. If he works, has a dissertation rn and is also doing all chores then that is a way to support him. Freeing up time. Taking one less thing off his plate.

I've had 2 very opposite live-in relationships. First with a guy who did too much at home and the other who did nothing. Ime even if one partner is willing.. its better to just evenly distrubute tasks if you're both working.

No. 297830

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I fucking love my bf. Perfect as any guy can get and thats saying something. 5+ years. But my bf and I have been long distance for like a year now. We don't fight much but every once in a while he says something genuinely annoying/rude and I tell him respectfully it upsets me. Its bound to happen once in a while and its fine. What is getting to me is the way he handles it. Today he sent me a moidy meme with a dad cradling his baby and jokingly had has elbow around its neck and the caption was "when my wife asks me to put the baby to sleep". For context have a running joke where we top each other with ways we're gonna "get" each other, like tom and jerry style. "Gonna fry you up and eat ya" or "im gonna roll you into a haybale" lol just random silly stuff- and I love it. But he said "I'm gonna put you to sleep like that, referring to the moidy meme. I didn't care for it and said to take it down a notch. He immediately got defensive and said I'm no fun. Well it has turned into a 2+ hour talk of how I should've handled the situation better, my part being expressing what I need from him better and not "shutting him down". Girls I couldn't have been any nicer after seeing that fucking picture. This seems to be a pattern and I'm getting really tired of it. All that was needed was an apology. I'm not going to be some pickme thats cool with violent jokes all the time. He hasn't apologized for any part but honest to god I just need to wrap it up for the day. Just that he appreciates me sharing my feelings. I think he feels defensive because he thinks im pinning him as violent or perverted, but I wouldn't be with him if I thought that. I'm just not going to tolerate moid jokes. I need to be allowed to set boundaries without it blowing up in my face. All that capped off with I'm moving in with him next week and I feel really pissy and not excited right now. He has his moments where he snaps to and realizes he's wrong so I'm hoping for it to happen when we get back together in person.
I really do love him and he is such a kind sweet person. I just don't understand why men are like this sometimes its not that complicated.

No. 297835

It’s a common male behavior to get overly defensive when you say something simple like “that offensive joke isn’t funny to me” it probably makes them think internally about why certain things entertain them and why others believe it’s immoral.

No. 297853

He sounds like the typical guy who is nice when you're agreeable, but blows up when you have any boundaries or standards. Sorry, sounds like he's already labeled you as a cool girl in his head and any deviation from that is going to make him buttmad.

No. 297855

you're right, and I partially blame myself for letting him think I can laugh off anything. I didn't think you'd have to spell out why choking isn't funny but here we are
I think we're gonna have to have a long ass talk in person I'm just pissed off right now

No. 297874

I want to break up with my boyfriend and know that would make my life easier, however i keep pushing those thoughts down since im pretty sure it would be more of a messy breakup. We have been together for around two and half years, when we started dating i was in a really bad place mentally. This is the first ”serious” relationship for both of us. We are very different; different goals in life, priorities, upbringings. Im now doing a lot better and i feel like i have had a lot of personal growth past years, but he is okay with staying the same. I consider striving for personal growth important and started trying to talk to him about making lifestyle changes. More healthy food choices, other hobbies besides simply watching things and gaming. Whenever i try to discuss topics with him that are even a little bit more intellectual, he will zone out of the conversation and just show he doesn’t care. We are both young adults the same age, but lately i have been feeling like his mother at times. I really dont want to have that kind of dynamic with someone im in a relationship with. One thing i still struggle with is having pushover tendencies, despite trying to have more of a backbone. I know i want to break up but im scared of how that will go. I dont love him anymore, but i do feel attached and i guess just a strong sense of loyality since he did stick with me when i was very unstable. I keep making excuses and thinking ”well, perhaps he will realize how much of a manchild he is being and work on that” but i know that will most likely not happen. I feel stuck and like im sacrificing my own happiness for the sake of staying in this relationship. I know i should ”grow a spine”, but this is a hard situation for me.
If anyone has breakup experiences that sound even a bit similar to how i describe mine, i would really appreciate if you could share.

No. 297897

I have been in a long distance relationship with my bf for like 2 months now. We were in an in-person relationship for about a year before he moved to another state for a job. The relationship is much better in person.

The worst thing about it is that I feel jealous whenever he goes out with his friends on weekends. It’s definitely worsened by the fact that I’m an introvert in a pretty boring area with virtually no friends to hang out with outside of work or classes. I’m bored in my room on weekends, and he’s usually too busy to text me back for many hours. His friends are extroverted, and I’m not exactly thrilled with the thought of him going to bars with them, so I never even want to ask anymore what he’s done over the weekend when we call during the week. Even so, I feel like it would be controlling of me to order him to stop hanging out with friends and doing normal things that guys of this age do on weekends… I know that would be ridiculous to ask. But I just wonder if there’s something I can do, or ask him to do, to make me feel better. I don’t like how he always seems too busy to call or text often on weekends, but if he really is that busy, I don’t want him to feel pressured to contact me “too often” either.

No. 297905

Asking him to not go out it’s super fair to him but maybe you can if you guys can schedule a weekend date night? Something that’s consistent and you can rely on so he can have both friend time and you time. We’re you the one who had to move? Finding some activities to do while he’s out with his friends will help you take your mind off of it as well as help yourself.
I was in your position about two years ago and ending things sooner rather than later is the only solution. It did not matter how much I tried to talk to him, we were just not good together. Sounds like you two don’t really have any baseline compatibility and trying to salvage something that only happened because you were in a bad state isn’t good for anyone involved. You will drag each other down the longer you draw things out. Break ups suck and are usually messy, it’s just how it is. Honestly even if it hurts now you will be doing yourself and him a favor by moving on and finding better matches.

No. 297926

I broke up with someone in my teens like that who was 23 (ew) who smoked weed all day and had little ambition, couldn't have tough discussions and I was very meek.
I know its so hard to think about leaving someone you are so attached to. But I promise you you don't want to regret another year spent wishing you had a partner who's at your level. Sit him down and tell him what you expect out of the relationship, not just for you but him- otherwise no one is doing any one any favors. You're the one leading the relationship- its time to rid yourself of the passivity and lay down your grievances. It's not your job to protect his feelings- its not the end of your life and you will have better, stronger relationships. Consider this a really tough practice for standing up for yourself. It will be tough, but you need to learn how to do it to have healthy discussions moving forward. I hope you have a gf who's there for you. All that capped off with a big bear hug. I think you know what you need to do.

No. 297928

Its too much to ask of anyone, man or woman and it ends with resenting the other person if you always have to pick up after them while you both work and they get to be lazy after work and you come home to a house full of undone chores. This is why divorce is mostly initiated by women. It's not fun to have a partner who is like a child you have to take care of instead of being equals who help each other share the workload.

No. 298057

ayrt. dumped him. not over this, but this was def one of many red flags. glad to know you did the same.

No. 298076

I think I have some kind of separation anxiety. I've been dating this person for a bit more than two months, and it got intense very fast–we live down the street from each other so we have slept together every night (yes, every single night) since we got together. We spend most days together and he invites me along any time he goes out with friends. He definitely initiated this, but I'm worried I'm becoming dependent on it.

I get extremely anxious and sad whenever we have to be apart for a long time, to the point where I find it hard to carry out my normal life. I would love to think I'm just in love, but it feels unhealthy and like I will end up suffocating him. How do I force myself to feel less attached?

No. 298081

Set some boundaries and say that you two don’t need to spend all day every day together. Listen to your gut. Tell him you’d love to see him but that you still need time for yourself. If he’s fine and willing to work with you that’s a good sign and you can work on a plan together. If he gets angry or upset and acts like this is an unreasonable request I’d suggest reconsidering being with him.

No. 298401

ITA that wrote this post. I found out that he spent the weekend with a female friend from high school and stayed the weekend at her place the day after I wrote this. I asked him to make time to call me, and he said he couldn’t because he would be out with her all day and driving home late at night. Then, the next morning, he got up late for work and didn’t call me that morning, and the only time we get to call these days is weekday mornings.

Since then, I haven’t responded to his texts, but called him twice and he hasn’t picked up or responded yet. We haven’t gone a day without texting or talking since we met.

My natural inclination is to let him come to me to patch things up now, and if he doesn’t reach out, just let him be. Am I in the wrong here? Should I explain what made me upset before doing this? I feel like he knows that he’s been putting in less effort and pulling away, or he would have at least called me like usual by now.

No. 298413

>Long-distance relationship
>Spent the weekend with a female friend from high school and stayed the weekend at her place
>He is no longer reaching out
Sorry to say this, but you should probably let go of him, nonna. I had a relationship that turned long-distance as well (he moved for work and I would join him later) and the same thing happened. He “hung out” with a female friend at a bar. It was only supposed to be for a few hours, but it started getting really late and he wasn’t answering any of my texts or calls. I find out later that she invited him to stay at her place and shit happened.
Scrotes can’t be trusted with long distance relationships. Maybe he didn’t cheat, but there’s a lot of red flags here. He spent a whole weekend with some other girl, and he didn’t even tell you about it. That’s suspicious. He knows what he’s doing is hurting you, but doesn’t seem to care.
I know you can find a relationship with someone who is in your area and stresses you out less.

No. 298421

Thank you for replying, nonnie. There are already guys in my area waiting for me, but I’ve always ignored them because he was the one I loved… ironically because of his tenderness and great communication! He’s my first love, so it’s so hard for me to stick to my own ‘no contact’ rule. I do know, however, that he is not doing his best for me and that I deserve better. It’s insane how much he changed in a short period of time. There was a period of time earlier this year where we were living with an eight hour time difference and talked way more than we do now.

Before I got into this relationship, a value of mine for not just people but situations in general was to not hold onto anything too tightly. I want to bring that energy back into my life.

No. 298438

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My boyfriend is annoying the fuck out of me tonight, he keeps saying he's interested in feminism and wants to learn more about it but literally when I talk about it he becomes the most contrarian asshole. Like we are talking about abortion and he keeps saying he's not anti-abortion but keeps going on about how fetuses are people which it's like. Okay so you think women who get abortions are murderers? And it's so fucking rich that he's going on about this when I literally have to take birth control because his dumb ass won't stop coming inside, birth control which makes me bitchy and depressive literally all the time. And now he's not even fucking responding to me. Fuck. I want to tear my hair out.

No. 298439

Damn are you me? My last relationship was my “first love” too kek. Together for 5 years and fell apart in months because of the move. It’s possible that your boyfriend’s group of friends are influencing him in a way too, and that’s why his behavior has changed. It sucks.
Trust me, you’re going to be happier with that weight off your shoulders. I’m not gonna lie, it’s probably going to hurt for a while, but it does get better. And when you meet someone that treats you better, you’re going to wonder why you didn’t leave him sooner.
>Before I got into this relationship, a value of mine for not just people but situations in general was to not hold onto anything too tightly. I want to bring that energy back into my life.
Being single does have its perks! Definitely get that energy back. You’re giving so much of yourself and not having it reciprocated.

No. 298442

Dump him. Most men are incapable of empathy for women because they literally can't understand what it's like. The fact that he can't even wear a condom tells all. You'll be better off without him. He only cares about sex on tap.

No. 298455

>bf is so retarded he thinks a clump of cells is a living being
Not only is your scrote a retard who desperately needs to take a biology class, but he also just told you he's flat out sexist. Dump him and stop enabling him. Don't even get me started on the birth control and no condom thing. He is using you as a fleshlight and treating you like one as well. He doesn't give two shits about you, feminism, or any other women.

My boyfriend is very supportive and understanding about these issues and my not wanting to take birth control. You can find a guy like that too. This is some bare minimum shit. Talk about being disrespected. Where the fuck did you meet this loser? 4chan?

No. 298456

anon if i was you i will break up with him your boyfriend is just a typical moid

No. 298457

break up

No. 298459

this thread makes me feel superior for choosing to be single forever males don’t deserve anything

No. 298466

Right? and its so weird how the people who use /g/ are different from the /ot/ users. I feel like people here is much more passive/submissive to their nigel… Idk how to explain

No. 298473

Can't shake the feeling that I probably deserve to be lonely for being picky
I'm sad that I don't have anyone's hoodies to wear during sweater season, but I can't even be sad in peace because my brain is like "there are tons of guys who would love to give you their hoodies and treat you well in a relationship, bring you lunch when you're starving at work, drop everything to pick you up when you're waiting in the cold for a ride, hold you when you cry, buy you cute plushies" yadda yadda "but you don't want any of them because you're fucking shallow and you don't feel physically attracted enough to them, so sit there and freeze, you deserve it for being vain".
Is this just because I've internalized all the men online complaining about women rejecting the "nice guys" and chasing after hot guys who have tons of options therefore don't prioritize her?

No. 298475

Nice cherrypick considering most users crosspost. Take a harder look at the ot vent threads and stop trying to force this us vs them mentality as if users here really limit themselves to one board.
Also, please learn English before posting.

No. 298478

>learn english before posting
says a anon that probably only speak english or some other language. english isnt even my third language leave me a break

No. 298488

>its so weird how the people who use /g/ are different from the /ot/ users
incorrect, i husbando post and shitpost at the same time. and yeah the anons venting about their boyfriends in /ot/ don't seem that different

No. 298502

I post on various boards, /ot/ and /g/ included, and I've seen some posters on /ot/ get offended for some reason when women choose to be celibate or have a husbando, granted it's probably a moid but there's sometimes a lost tradthot who comes here.

No. 298623

>"Perfect as any guy can get and thats saying something"
>he blew up when i made a totally normal boundary
>im not a cool girl but we make jokes about how we would DV/end each other.

seek help. you've fantasized an idea of him that is not real. totally agree with >>297853 , a man that can't act normal the moment you aren't "agreeable" does not in fact see you as having purpose outside of making him happy. "ugh you're no fun" his first concern is how his entertainment is being disturbed rather than you being offended. violence against babies and women should never be funny to a man who is allegedly "One of the good ones"

No. 298639

>Started dating this girl
>One year younger than me, I'm 23 she is 22
>Lot's of similar "nerdy" interests, kinda hard to find in the third world country shithole I live
>Talk about personal stuff, she says she has ADHD and Bipolarity
>Ok, I'll read about this stuff so I can be a supportive partner
>First months goes ok, then the relationship got rocky, fights start on a "week yes, week no" basis"
>Super clingy, If I plan to do something either alone or with my friends that don't involve her (because despite being invited by me to be there together she refused". No physical harm, but she starts to say some really mean words.
>Things go like these for 8 months, she tells me her Psychiatrist thinks she is Border
>Oh shit, oh fuck
>Keep going, read about BPD to help her and be a supportive partner. Things go well for about a full month, we decide to buy our "dating ring"
>After that things went to heel, fucking role coaster
>I got to my Psychiatrist, and after describing how my relationship is she describes it as a "lighter form of domestic abuse cycle"
On one side I have the biggest urge to run away, I keep rehearsing alone what I want to say to her when we break up, but on the other side I still love her so much, she is my first "real" relationship, and my pragmatical side is like "you already bought the rings, gotta deal with It.
I know it would be more fitting to /vent/ but since it involves relationships I just wanted to put it out here

No. 298643

Im my boyfriends first girlfriend and we’ve been dating for 5 years and now I’m realizing that I am probably not going to be his last. How do I cope nonnies

No. 298644

No. 298645

I’ve dated a couple guys before him, but I’m his first and only girlfriend. We’re coming up to 5 years now, he’s really sweet and wonderful and loving and all these other great things but I think maybe I won’t be his last girlfriend. We’re in a transitional period with me going to school (still in town) and him having weird shifts for work. I think we will be spending less time together. I dunno. I’m just sad and think maybe he will cut it off soon because of these factors

No. 298649

It's kinda clear that you don't want it to end. Just go talk to about how you guys should spend more time together.

No. 298666

File: 1668146641022.jpg (125.3 KB, 640x655, tumblr_d2674de0880bfd9688300d8…)

I'm going to be meeting my boyfriends entire family on Thanksgiving and I'm so nervous. I've met his parents before, but his entire extended family will be there. I'm shy and a little weird, and a literal autist, but so is he. Any advice? I really don't know how to act in a situation like this.

No. 298684

I'd take it easy and use your bf as a retreat or safe spot if it gets awkward or silent with the family. Maybe tell him also so he's aware you're a bit anxious about it

No. 298708

Sounds like you know its inevitable and like you're just grieving the loss in advance. Which is understandable. 5 years is a decent chunk of time. Maybe make a plan so it doesn't drag out. Do you see yourself being together still by the end of the year or do you want to get it out of the way now before festive season/new years kicks in?

I've had that 'breakup incoming' feeling before and I try to make a plan so that things arent dragging on if certain dates like xmas are going to be coming up. Breaking up in december always sucks if you're someone who does xmas.

No. 298730

so similar to someone in my lolita comm. but anyways, you definitely know what you want, and you can't really take back those years you spend not happy. someone "sticking" with you when you were unstable doesn't mean you have to be miserable in return

No. 298799

He is definitely aware, we are both the quiet type so this should be a good strategy, thanks nona. I'm super worried about making a good impression on his family…

No. 299170

How do you nonnas know that your nigels don't watch porn? I'm not okay with dating someone who does (which almost feels like too high of a standard in this day and age…) and I don't want to ask the guy I'm seeing about it directly because if he knows I don't like it he can just lie to keep me happy. Is there any way to avoid secretly degen moids or is it always a case of you won't know until it's too late?

No. 299174

Snoop. If he has trouble getting hard that's also a sign. Also how he views women and the way they act or dress.

The biggest sign for me with my ex was him asking me to do things you would only see in porno. Like anal or asking if he can choke me and spit in my mouth. Degeneracy doesn't come from thin air.

No. 299182

See how secretive he is, see how he treats you sexually, and see how he thinks about women. If he just wants to fuck for 5 minutes, hides his phone/computer or won't let you on them, struggles to get hard, or doesn't care about your pleasure, those are big signs. If he does weird porny dirty talk or 'kinks' like the other anon said about anal, that's also a sign. The more affectionate and vanilla he is in bed the more likely it is he isn't a porn addicted moid, in my experience. I've dated 3 men long term, 2 of them were extremely attentive in bed, not into weird violent kinks, cared to some degree about women's issues, and not secretive at all, and as far as I know they did not use porn and only did sexual things with me. The other was into very degrading fetishes, openly talked trash on women, he did not care about how I felt and just wanted to pump and dump - I found out months later he had a serious porn addiction and my gut instinct was right. Just follow your gut and look out for the signs. While most men do use porn with no remorse, there are some rare ones that see the issues with it.

No. 299191

This is good advice, but if you make sure, if they have social media, to check their saved Instagram posts and who they follow. If they have reddit, check their hidden and saved posts and their subreddits, obviously. Also check their account activity so you can tell if they're using a VPN or Tor to log in so it won't trip up the hidden posts. Check all recent downloads/files on their computer, as well as the trash. If you are mega paranoid, just go through all their folders. Make sure that all hidden folders are visible if you go that route. This is a waiting game, you have to earn their trust so you have easy access to this stuff. Once you have access to their browser, you can easily find their passwords to stuff like Reddit and such. Note that some shit will need 2 factor authentication, so you'll need to time that shit if that is the case so you have both their phone and their/a computer. Make sure to delete history of your logins on Reddit/history in general/etc.

The last option is to check the history on their internet modem. Note that this can really only be utilized in a household setting and it will show the usage of the whole household, so it isn't always one hundred percent accurate if other moods live in the house.

I feel like this is very surface level stuff, but most moids don't go beyond this stuff unless they're some CS guy or particular about cybersecurity.

No. 299201

Dominate conversations about sex early on, asking questions in a flirtatious and joking way is the best way to get them to admit to stuff. Seem open and neutral at first, if they give you the wrong answer then just stop asking and drop them. If they seem to share your views, maybe press a bit more just to see if they budge. Try asking deeper questions to understand their arguments, you want to know if their reasoning is solid and not just parroting a surface level opinion of what someone else has said.

No. 299209


>bring you lunch when you're starving at work, drop everything to pick you up when you're waiting in the cold for a ride, hold you when you cry

Apparently there's alot of women whose partners even help put them through college. It's crazy. It can't help but sink in just how on my own I am when I think about that, so I'd be lying if it didn't hurt, but at the same time I'd be very scared of being that financially dependent on someone. Especially a romantic partner. What if you break up and then have to pay all the money back?

No. 299224

Thanks nonnas! I'll see what I can do. I've only been seeing this guy for a few weeks so I don't have access to his phone or computer, but I'll try and figure it out before I get too invested.

No. 299245

I'm new to relationships and have no friends so I don't know if my gripes are legitimate. Also idk if this is the right thread to post in. My boyfriend and I met in May and have been dating in July. He has a house and I live in a house with roommates. His family acquired a lot of wealth many years ago and they helped him buy a house. His salary I would say is middle class for an individual person. He works in non-profit and has over 6 years' experience. My salary is only a few thousand less than his and I have less than 1 year of full-time experience but I also have student loan and medical debt and he doesn't. I can talk to him about anything, he has helped me and took care of me through 2 surgeries since we have started dating, introduced me to all his friends, and family, etc. Which is nice and all, but many things about the relationship bother me.

First, he's divorced (he's only a few years older than me and I'm in my late 20's). His ex wife is a fucking fat ass, seemingly autistic SJW, and talks about their relationship nonstop on her public social media accounts. My bf himself eats horribly. He drinks a ton of soda and eats fast food all the time. I'm not as much as a stickler for eating healthy as I used to be but I like to eat healthy and after recovering from my surgery I want to be more active. All of his friends except one are overweight or obese. His one friend who he used to have a crush on is obese, has type 1 diabetes and eats like garbage and drinks all the time. He says that everyone loves her and she lights up a room. While she is nice, I think she is daft and a normie. Many of his other friends are autists, and I suspect my bf may be autistic himself. I can't have discussions with any of his friends about anything other than shallow shit. They'll obsess over video games, KPOP, etc. And they complain about being tired even though I work minimum 9 hour days, sometimes 7 days a week, and don't sleep much.

He is also a Trump supporter and obsessed with guns, has said gross "jokes" about women, etc. I like going to the range and I'm disenchanted with politics but even I was a bit bothered by this.

Also, he complains about the costs of caring for his house. He refuses to turn on the thermostat (cold or hot). During the brutal summer he was taking care of his uncle's dog, who was dying of heat exhaustion and refused to turn on the AC. And now it's autumn and 30ish degrees Fahrenheit and he won't turn on the heat. I brought a mini space heater. It makes me think why he even would own a house on his low salary when I only make a few thousand less than him and would never even dream of owning a home with the amount I earn.

He is also very strict with finances, but hypocritical. For example, he complained about his ex spending money on fruits for an eating show but he himself eats fast food and at restaurants multiple times per week. We split the costs of food a lot which isn't the worst but I also have way more debt and he makes us share food when he wants to eat crappy food and I want something healthy. But I have to compromise for him.

I have CPTSD and a lot of mental health issues but I'm trying. I like to take care of myself, am hopefully due to get a promotion and a raise in a few months after the company I work for sung my praises, hope to get a master's degree, etc. The problem is I come from an abusive family and when I cut them off they'll probably try and destroy my life. They also live in the same state as me. I also have horrible anxiety and depression and codepency issues. I'm in group therapy in the evenings at a hospital as requested by my psychiatrist, individual therapy, antidepressants, but also have a Klonopin dependence.

Idk what to do.

No. 299246

For now you should just ask him and gauge his response. Make it clear that you don't want to be with someone who does that, and tell him why if it's really necessary. If everything is okay and the signs other nonnies mentioned check out and things progress then further down the line you can snoop around and confirm if he's truthful. By then you will have a good enough idea of how he is as a person and how he views women but this is just to be safe. Good luck!!

No. 299247

Also forgot to mention this…sorry for my autistic blog posting. His family graciously invited me to international vacations next year, two of them. They very nicely paid for one. The second one after I agreed to it weeks later my bf tells me we have to pay his dad back for the tickets next year each. If I had known this I wouldn't have gone in the first place but now it's too late. I feel like I'm spending way too much money myself just for this relationship. Before, I barely went out to eat and now I'm spending money on restaurants, gas, food, this fucking trip, etc.

No. 299250

From your post I can't see a single positive aspect of your relationship. Taking care of someone you're seeing when they're going through a surgery is a bare minimum to expect from a person. You're dating the guy for 5 months only, better break up now because with your mental health struggles you probably know yourself already that it's going to only get harder later.

No. 299251

The cons very clearly outweigh the pros here and you are very obviously bothered by this relationship. Just dump him, the Trump supporter shit should have tipped you off.

No. 299330

Couldn't you try dating them and see if you like it? First dates don't mean you have to commit to someone, and you can see if you feel a spark

No. 299359

File: 1668481476050.png (1.63 MB, 1920x1080, 804c7c52ebf31a405f39bc1669521a…)

OK anons, there's this dude I'm talking to rn in college:
>shy, buff, works out
>smart, has career ambitions
thing is, we've been on a few dates, and while he's been nice (paid for first couple of dates, very sweet ' offered to drive me places, etc.) and is LEAGUES, I mean LEAGUES better than the fucking loser of a guy I dated freshman year, I just don't feel any attraction/spark. I'm awkward, and he's more awkward, somehow. We don't have a lot in common. He got the "kiss me face" after one of our dates, and I panicked and said "huh?" when he started leaning in so he ended up giving me a side hug instead of what I think he wanted ((a kiss)). Thing is, I feel traumatized by my experience with males from freshman year. I don't want to touch a man. I don't ever get the feeling of "I wish I had someone to hold" anymore. EVER. I did warn him about how I wasn't really looking for romance early on, and how I felt off about relationships after my first with an incredibly fucking beta loser, but I guess he interpreted that as "she might come around". I thought I might too, but I think it's been enough dates in that I need to let him know that it meant a no. Also I think my ex ruined my view of men. I'm scared of dating another person like him. I cannot handle another submissive guy. I fucking can't. I rambled but do I just have another talk with him? I feel guilty, but I learned from my first that it's better to not waste time and end it if it doesn't feel right.

No. 299361

nahh nonny dont stay with a weird guy just because of some potential you think he might have. you are wasting your time with a guy you are not atracted to while there are pretty of not awkward fish on the sea. i dont think youre exaggerating in wanting to end things with him. it will probably be good to talk to him about it but if you are afraid of his reaction or you think its gonna be awkward just ghost him.

No. 299373

If you don’t feel like you have any chemistry past the awkwardness then it’s best to just end it now. Even if he seems good on paper if you don’t feel like you can create a spark then it really won’t get better and you’ll still be settling.

No. 299399

Anyone ever dated someone who is diagnosed bipolar + medicated, while you yourself have bpd and are unmedicated, or vice versa? I’ve been taking to this guy for a year and we just started officially being partners about 3 weeks ago. Things were amazing the past year when I was medicated and he was manic, but now I feel like the honeymoon phase is over and there isn’t as much passion as there used to be no matter how hard he tries to tell me otherwise. He’s been on and off cold, sometimes distant, and not as all over me as he used to be. He assures me that it’s because he’s not manic anymore, and that he’s going through some shit which makes me feel really selfish for sitting here and doubting it all. But at the same time, I made a pros and cons list and there are more cons than pros. I’m not gonna go into detail about them, but 90% of the time in this relationship I feel depressed because he acts kind of distant most of the time but when he notices I’m depressed he puts in more effort to be affectionate for the time being. Am I being unreasonable for considering leaving? Should I wait it out longer? I know what I want out of a relationship, and this aint it. But I have never had so much in common with someone and he’s literally my dream man in every way except for how he is as a boyfriend kek

No. 299409

>works out
>has career ambitions
Girl…. That’s the bare minimum that doesn’t make him a good man. You are clearly not attracted to him. Don’t waste your or his time, end it.

No. 299505

I have been talking to a guy online (as friends) for about 7 months now. The first few months he made me smile at my phone all day but recently he has mainly been making me cry. He kept telling me that he was in love with me (which is def not true hes just delusional). He is a muslim. In the past he used to always tell me that he doesnt care if people are islamophobic or criticize his religion. Lately he had been stressing about how befriending a woman is haram and tried to cut me off. Yesterday I jokingly called Mohammed Pedohammed and he blocked me. I'm so sad lol I was sobbing in my bed yesterday. I dont think he's going to come back. I dont think I will ever be able to get over him because Ive never been this close to a man before even if it was just platonic on my part. It feels like a break up and a huge heartbreak regardless. I am basically glued to my phone since I keep checking his accounts like a crazy person 24/7 how tf do I stop

No. 299508

Put your phone aside, do some other staff, get over him. It's a fucking muslim guy, you will find something better looking under a rock.

No. 299513

>7 months (you dont even know him for at least a year)
>muslim scrote
>says befriending a woman is haram
>he blocked me
>I dont think I will ever be able to get over him
are you underage? i hope that after you get through this heartbreak, you look back and realize how ridiculous this situation sounds.

No. 299567

This is embarrassing but I hope you all can understand the situation. Need advice on leaving a 7+ year relationship.

I love my boyfriend a lot but lately I've been feeling like the way he acts isn't a way I want to live my life around for the rest of my life. He's kind and he does anything I ask of him, but he isn't responsible and he often feels checked out of reality. I feel like I see my friends have boyfriends who do things without having to be told and who have neat hobbies and are happy and involved, but my boyfriend doesn't feel like that at all. He does what I tell him and otherwise stares at his phone all day and that's about it.

I've been thinking I might need to leave him. But I'm not sure I even can. We live together, I don't drive (I have vertigo and I'm almost positive I can't get a license), and I don't work and I've never had a real job. I have two health issues which make it hard to work anywhere other than from home as I can get very physically sick very quickly at random, that I'm fighting to get treated but it's been difficult to even get a blood test. At most I've made $200 a month which obviously isn't enough to sustain myself. I want to be able to take care of myself and become more independent, but I don't know where to start. It also hurts a bit to think this is what everything has come down to.

If anyone has any advice on what to do or where to start I'd appreciate it. I know I might have to deal with this relationship for another year or two until I can take care of myself. He isn't a terrible guy so it's okay, I just can't really deal with this forever is the issue. It feels very lonely, I'd like a partner who wants to be like, alive in the moment more and who's their own person. Maybe by then things will be fine and I'll just be more able to care for myself which is fine, but maybe by then I could also leave and be ok. It would be nice to have options. I'm also not really sure how I should navigate around him during these times. It feels cruel to stay with someone knowing I'm probably going to leave him but I know I wouldn't survive without his support right now. It feels like a very difficult situation to be in, I feel very trapped. Neither of my parents are an option as they can't care for me either, and I have no siblings, so I have no one to go to.

No. 299600

I've been talking with that one guy that I kinda liked and he brought up a pop psychology podcast that he liked. He mentioned that they discussed that it's kinda wrong to expect one partner to care for the other if the latter got sick with a terminal illness, since the former didn't sign up for that much baggage. I kinda agree with it.
Anyway, I'm schizoaffective (bipolar+schizo) and don't want to get into any relationships because of that. I feel now that I need to tell that to a potential partner beforehand, but I'm afraid my diagnosis might scare them off for good. I'm medicated and don't show any symptoms and anyway my sz is pretty mild, but I'm afraid people will have wrong assumptions about me if they know, and not telling a future bf seems also wrong, since they are obliged to know. What to do?

No. 299602

>Crying over ugly brown male
Come on.

No. 299611

I'm thinking back to that study of men being six times more likely to leave women if that woman develops cancer. Sorry it has nothing to do with your post, nonny.

No. 299612

>don't want to get into any relationships
>I'm afraid my diagnosis might scare them off for good
If you don't want to get into a relationship why would you care if that scares them off? Honestly as a fellow schizoid I love telling guys off when I say I'm solitary and don't want a relationship, they always look so dejected.

No. 299624

File: 1668601480668.gif (3.11 MB, 640x394, EC46DC04-9A74-46F1-A0D0-762BDC…)

>Yesterday I jokingly called Mohammed Pedohammed and he blocked me.

No. 299627

File: 1668602097437.jpg (49.33 KB, 795x676, 1665405988819.jpeg.jpg)

So I've been with this guy for a couple months, but we had already been close friends for years before we developed feelings for each other. The thing is, it's almost scary how infatuated I am, especially sexually. I am constantly thinking about him and fantasizing about fucking him, it's ridiculous. Now, I'm a pretty affectionate person so I've been very open about how I feel and send him a ton of sappy messages, but I'm worrying that it might be too much? I'm not used to this level of intensity, although he appears to feel the same way about me.

At some level I know that this is also just new relationship energy that is bound to diminish eventually. I'm afraid that by being so overly affectionate I will cause him to take me for granted or set unrealistic expectations. How do I determine when it's time to let things cool down and back off with the (for lack of a better word) lovebombing a little bit? Is it warranted to be concerned about this?

No. 299655

You're overthinking this. Just love and be loved since apparently he feels the exact same way about you. The idea that you are supposed to back off with affection at some point is ridiculous. In a loving, healthy, balanced relationship no one is playing games of trying to balance their input in it to achieve a desireable effect; the example you've given with being taken for granted. Don't you want him to trust that you want to be with him, and the other way around? Why try to manipulate any kind of sense of uncertainity?
Of course it's always reasonable to have conversations about any kind of concern so you can just bring it up that you're worried about overwhelming him - just unerline that you like things how they are now and if he likes it too, don't change anything.

No. 299753

I work in a uni student union (graduate, 25, young looking). Developed a crush on a moid I often see and we eyefuck, fairly sure he's an audio tech for the union venue, meaning he is probably a graduate at least. I like his band shirts and he is just my type (long hair, serious, stooped). I'm at work at my stand whenever I'm in the union, other than smoke breaks. How do I a. Make sure he is around my age, b. Ask him out? I've plenty of dating experience but only through apps. I know he's the type to not do apps and maybe not even ig. I hate how the internet is the only way I've gotten dates in the past and am trying to move past social media etc. currently. How do you just, ask a guy out?

No. 299756

Males can’t comprehend anything existing outside of their silly mind-games. You can throw all your love at a woman and get results but men are like black holes. They suck and suck until you’re dry & abandon you when you have nothing left to give. Everything is a power trip, you’re just another hole to conquer, you will get the divorce papers in mail within 24 hours if you get cancer and there’s no way around it. Get real. This could be a legitimate strategy for lesbians but it’s just silly for straight women. Were you born yesterday?

No. 299766

Ignore the other anon, >>299655 is right. Don’t overthink and play mind games because you’re insecure. I think this is what killed my last relationship and it fucking sucks. If he’s a good match he will understand your feelings and not take any concerns you have personally. He will probably validate you in the way you need to and you’ll calm down.

No. 299819

I'm sorry you feel like this anon. I know this is LC and in many ways it's an echochamber for this kind of mindset, and while I partially agree because women should be careful around men, being this blackpilled is genuinely dangerous for your own mental health; even if you never interact with any men and never will.

No. 299850

So you go for smoke breaks, next time he's around, ask him if he's got a light. Whether it's a yes or no, there's your in. Mention you've noticed him around and wonder which departments he works in etc etc

No. 300097

My bf watches anime sometimes. He somehow went his whole childhood without watching it, but got into it in his mid 20s thanks to a weeb friend of his. He even sometimes watches the worst kind of pandering romancy ones, so I’ve chosen to accept that he is just a little simple minded. Anyway, I was telling him about the smelly weaboo I just started working with, and told bf «at least you are a sexy weeaboo» and he’s like wait a minute. I’m not a weeaboo. Weeaboos are the ones who have waifus and buy body pillows and obsess. I just watch anime sometimes. I told him I thought he had a waifu, and that he was just too ashamed to tell me about her, but he said «if that was case then you would be my waifu». Speaking as a recovered fangirl, who still relapse once in a while, it warmed my heart hearing him call me his waifu. I was also a bit taken aback. I guess because I’ve been into so much degeneracy, it’s hard to believe there are people who watch anime/play video-games but aren’t as corrupted by the internet as I am. Is it really possible for a moid to casually watch anime and not be a degenerate? I’m new to this relationship, so I guess only time will tell.

No. 300110

I know a lot of normies well into their adulthood who like anime and never ever even interacted with a weeb-sphere of the internet. You say yourself he's not some obsessive addict but just watches it sometimes, there's a strong chance he's a completely normal person then and you given your past experiences project these on him. Time will tell for sure, but I think you can be hopeful here

No. 300120

File: 1668862291081.jpg (91.17 KB, 500x602, ok.jpg)

i struggle with showing my love in overwhelming ways. i have bpd. i love my new bf so so much and i dont wanna scare him off

No. 300123

sounds like something you'll have to discuss with your therapist, I'm sure they can provide you with coping techniques better than we can.

No. 300134

Is it normal for moids to just stop making effort once they’ve got you? I feel like I always get lovebombed super hard at the beginning then once they’ve got me they just stop making as much effort and stop being as affectionate.

I feel like I see this pattern repeating in almost every other womens relationships too and it scares me.

No. 300146

Does he watch hentai? Honestly I'd never date a guy who watches anime. Anime is for coomers and the chances he will troon out are still higher than normal.

No. 300148

Im year 4 and its not like that at all with my bf, but i have experienced that in past relationships. Not every romance is long lasting. Also some men fake their care to lead women on, but cant keep the act long term.

No. 300191

So uhm my close friend asked me for selfies so I sent him some and he said I looked good but ended our friendship a few hours later do I get plastic surgery now or should I just kms

No. 300192

It is not, I am 7 years in and he’s working harder and harder to make me happy and cares so much about me. He’s always reminding me how much he loves me and showering me in gifts. The moment they stop trying, you need to walk away you deserve way better and the right man will know it and go out of his way for you.

No. 300198

That's why long, tasteful courtships are a great sign.

No. 300199

why would a close friend care about how ugly you are

No. 300232

How do I actually get my boyfriend to lose weight? I've brought up the idea before and he agrees to, but never actually does anything. He's really overweight, so much so that my mom tells me about how sad she is that we're dating because of it. He's only unattractive because of how fat he is, nothing else. I'm not physically attracted to him and yet he brags about having the hottest girlfriend of all his friends. I'm not leaving him, don't suggest this as an option.

No. 300233

Start putting ozempic in his milkshakes. Encourage him to take up meth.

No. 300235

>Do physical activities together outside, like walking long distances during a date
>Buy healthier foods
>Refuse to eat, or pay for shitty food for the most part
>Exercise in front of him to encourage him to start himself

No. 300244

id gladly do all of this, but we live separately in different states because of school, so i dont buy his food. I cant always be around him, so I need him to have the incentive to do it on his own. I exercise almost every day and have a healthy diet on top of already being thin, so it seems as though making an example of myself isnt going to work. I really appreciate your suggestions for in the future when we do live together though

No. 300246

>work hard to stay in shape
>have a fat slob bf
Straight women love yourself challenge

No. 300248

Motivation to workout and eat healthy is intrinsic, the dedication to long term habit changes comes from within, you can't "give" that to him. If he's taking no action towards bettering himself despite agreeing he should lose weight, he's too comfortable being fat. And why wouldn't he? He's already got the fit gf to brag about despite being a fat slob so there's not a whole lot of motivation there and if he's been fat for a long time he's probably forgotten how healthy feels much better too.

You said you've told him you want him to lose weight but have you been upfront about, emphasized not being (sexually) attracted to him?


No. 300260

>That's why long, tasteful courtships are a great sign

No. 300265

Normal in the sense of common, yes.

No. 300273

tbh I dont really work that hard to stay in shape, its just a part of my natural routine because being healthy makes me feel good physically and mentally. I'm naturally pretty skinny and confident in my appearance. I'm aware that I'm leagues above him physically but we're LDR rn so its not like I see him all the time anyways

No. 300282

I agree, he is too comfortable being fat. He's very confident in himself and has a large sense of pride. I also agree that I can't truly just give him the motivation/dedication, but is there something I can say to make him realize "oh fuck, my girlfriend is leagues above me and I don't even take care of my basic appearance."?
I'm not sure how long he's been fat, but he told me that he was once super fit and showed me pictures from years ago (I'm not even sure they were him, there was no face in the pictures and he's a hundred pounds lighter). I thought that if he had motivation back then, he could rekindle it in some way. One incentive I've thought about pertains to my parents, because they don't like him for being fat. They haven't met him and my mom has encouraged me to break up with him after only seeing pictures. My parents are still very involved in my life, and if he wants to get enthusiastically invited to any holidays, he has to lose weight.
I have not been upfront about not being sexually attracted to him, is there possibly a nice way of saying that?

No. 300295

Be mean. Call him fat. Put your hand on his belly and say "I can feel it kicking." When he reaches for seconds say "really?" When he wants a snack say "aren't you fat enough already?" Fucking take his snacks and throw them in the trash as soon as he opens them. Tell him you're done having sex with a whale and he can just go down on you until he becomes attractive again.

Are you even trying, nona? He's such a fucking loser there's no chance he'd break up with you for hurting his feelings. It's not like he's going to land another hot gf to brag about.

No. 300296

I genuinely dont understand why you are so desperate to stay with him? You said its just LDR anyway, so whats the point? As you said you are attractive, surely it would be easy to find a partner that is equally attractive then? There is no "nice" way to say that hes so fat that you dont want to fuck him, he doesnt give a shit, you lost, he won. Im not trying to be mean but nonnies like you just make me sad. I wish you the best and to reconsider.

No. 300297

>is there possibly a nice way of saying that?
That's dangerously close to sugarcoating it. Saying it how it is, is not mean.

No. 300298

Just tell him the truth.
>I'm not attracted to you anymore, you are unhealthy and I worry for your health. You are slowly killing yourself with food and I can't support that.

No. 300312

Maybe I’m too mean, but dump him. Fat men are disgusting and if you’re really way out of his league then don’t bolster his ego by staying w him. If he doesn’t respect his own body enough and he doesn’t respect you enough to realize he should try to make himself attractive to you then he’s a lost cause. Sorry to sperg nonna kek I just really hate cute/fit girls dating fat guys.

No. 300323

This is really random but this thread seems most fitting. A few days ago I went to say good morning to a coworker who I thought liked me back and idk, the interaction was very meh on his side and I feel bad about it, like desperate or something. I’m usually friendly to everyone so maybe he didn’t think anything was up but I still feel weird. How to get over this feeling?

No. 300335

I won't tell you to leave him but he brags to all his friends? He sounds like the type that'll devalue you the second you lose your looks or gain weight. He just doesn't care enough about your lack of attraction and sees you like an accessory. I mean, there's even research on how men are substantially less likely to self-improve themselves when they feel like their partner is out of their league (whether true or not).

No. 300340

No. 300343

I guess I have feelings for my “fwb”, and im not sure what to do. I had a crush on him before we slept together and it’s been a couple months of us sleeping together off and on.

I’ve only been in one relationship in my life and it was short (5ish months) so I’m not really great at this sort of thing. To be super honest, im pretty sure I have bpd or something similar because I get obsessed with guys, and that’s sort of how I feel about this guy, but im trying to act less obsessive/ excessively clingy just because it isn’t healthy for me. The sex is really really good, but we’ve never been on a date or hung out in a nonsexual setting which makes me feel sort of crappy.

I go to a big SEC school where fraternities have date parties every monthish but he hasn’t invited me to any of his yet. I feel like I only care about this because it would be really validating because i don’t love parties all that much.

He does little things that makes me feel like he sees me. I don’t know if that makes sense but like he’s just perceptive of my emotions and maybe he understands me a little bit. I feel like I want to spend more time with him but like I said all we really do is have sex. I’m trying to just leave him alone to focus on myself because I know getting too attached isn’t healthy for myself and i guess I’m trying to put myself first.

I guess I don’t really need advice because I already know what I need to do. I just wish things were different, Yknow ?

No. 300348

Anon it’s normal to experience attachment to people that you share pleasant vulnerable moments with. It naturally happens during sex, you’re not mentally ill, and there’s nothing wrong with you for wanting a deeper bond with someone that you were open with. It’s actually not that healthy to maintain cognitive dissonance, or detachment from your emotional state during intimacy. Using someone else’s body for a moment of pleasure is not really that fulfilling long-term, and if you want someone that you have a better connection with, and is worth the vulnerability then you should go for that instead.

No. 300360

I thought nonna was quite chill and tactful about it tbh. It should elicit a harsher assessment than that.

No. 300361

>He's such a fucking loser there's no chance he'd break up with you for hurting his feelings
That's why fugly moids make for the worst boyfriends ever. At some point the fickle obese little shit will get tired of you, but won't be able to find anyone on your league; anyone period. So he'll pretend to love you just to club you on your head in frustration over and over forever.

No. 300525

when is it right to say "i love you"? im 22 and this is my first relationship really.. ive been too anxious before or just never really found guys attractive until now. hes 19 and we've been kinda seeing each other for a month and a half now but he will be affectionate with me and say things like ily, i like you, love you etc.
I've never said it back to him because I feel like its too early. Is it because hes young hes saying it..? He also is the one to kiss me on the cheek or forehead but I never initiate anything. I was the one who first started pursuing him (aka I messaged him to hang out privately in our club after knowing him for a year). But ever since I showed a little interest its just been him putting all the effort in. I feel kind of bad. I don't necessarily hate it but I feel like its way too early to say i love you… Do men just say ily super easily or something? Or am I just traumatized from my childhood and find it hard to express affection. I like him but I don't feel love, but I guess I don't really know what romantic love even feels like.

No. 300542

When the time is right you'll know; one month would definitely be waaaaay to early for me too. Don't worry nonna. There are people who talk about love earlier than others but in most cases they're putting less importance on the meaning of the word

No. 300573

File: 1669135756780.jpg (23.29 KB, 491x550, unnamed.jpg)

Nonnas, I would like your opinion please. I recently met a guy and he checks most of my boxes - generous, caring, cute, attentive, clean, funny, let’s me go through his phone, emotionally/financially stable. He’s super into me and I feel happy around him, and he loves eating me out. However he’s 7 years older than me, is a lot more sexually experienced, and I’ve learned he has some wild sexual interests, particularly eating ass and being pegged. He also has nerve damage on his penis from an accident as a kid so his sensitivity is dulled. All that has me hesitating because I have no interest in receiving anal sex or pegging a guy. I made my preferences known upfront but he still wants to pursue me. I feel torn because he’s the first guy I’ve met in a while I actually genuinely connect with, but I know I could never do those things with him. Are there really men out there that just have normie vanilla sexual interests? I’ve had to wade through so many worse shit-tier guys already and he’s the one closest to checking all my boxes.

No. 300587

I told my friend about my violent ex. She’s been going out with him, and I have confronted her and explained what he has done to me, she’s apparently supportive and says that she feels like an hypocrite to keep on talking to him despite “not wanting”.
Am I wrong for feeling betrayed after she has told me she went through the same and said she wanted to help me? Do I drop her as a friend?

No. 300588

Yes. IMO, I think you should her as a friend. In the long run you will be better off not having someone like that in your life. You can explain to her why you’re bailing or just ghost, whichever feels better to you.

No. 300594

Runrunrun. “Nerve damage from a childhood accident” my fucking eye, this dudes 100% a porn addict who’s stopped responding to normal stimuli. If you’re already feeling pressured into things you’re not comfortable with then there’s nothing worth sticking around for, it will only get worse. Sorry if this is rambly but I was in your position not long ago with an older guy who pressured me into a lot of weird shit and I’m just telling you what I wish someone had told me then.
Just hang in there nonna, someday you’ll meet a wonderful loving stable guy your age who isn’t a degenerate and has a working penis.

No. 300595

the penis accident thing sounds like a low effort lie to justify his degeneracy lol, but maybe i've been reading too many shitty bf stories on lolcow lately

No. 300605

My bf won't stop leaving his keys in the door of the house. I'm fucking embarrassed because we look like retards to the neighbors, also it's unsafe and someone could just fucking walk in? It's not the safest neighborhood, we've had cars broken into and shit and we're right on a major highway (literally next to it). Anybody could just walk in rob us/shoot us and get away easily. This is an 8 year long relationship by the way. I'm thinking of kicking him out (it's my place). What the fuck else can I do? Screaming at him doesn't work apparently

No. 300607

My initial response was he wants to act like a child, treat him like one. Change the locks and he gets no key for safety reasons especially if it’s your house, but I’m sorry anon that sucks. Does he have an explanation?
Nerve damage sounds like a cover for limp dick. If he was that fucked up there would be a visible scar or something he would have mentioned. You don’t get nerve damage from nothing. If he’s already bringing up degenerate sex shit that’s a bad sign. Yes there’s vanilla sex men and in my exp they have bigger dicks that work. Men that want to get pegged are selfish in bed most of the time and focused on using you for their pleasure.
I would. I’ve been there and I can’t do it again. He will hurt her if it goes far enough it will just take time. You don’t want to have to relive through your abuse while he does it to her. She’s an adult and you can’t save her. I’m sorry nonnie

No. 300609

That's actually a really good idea. He doesn't leave the house without me anyways and if he does I can just let him back in. I think I might do this, take away his key privileges. He's otherwise a good boyfriend and helps me with a lot of things and generally kisses my ass. But it's just so tiring to have this key thing keep happening it makes me so stressed. Also he has ADHD but isn't on any medication or anything but he holds down a job

No. 300610

If he doesn’t leave the house it might be a real solution, he might not like it kek. Adhd can make shit hard to remember sure. “Item blindness” where you set something down and it disappears from your cognitive mind but he’s an adult and should be putting the key on a bracelet or lanyard so it’s physically attached to him and he can’t leave it in the door. Good luck anon, May your door be safe and locked.

No. 300613

Why isn't he on medication?

No. 300615

There's normal men out there who are not degenerates. My moid once thought he was someone who was into "anything" and confessed he used to jerk off too much it ruined his body. He came to his senses and realized he only believed he was into anything because he was just incompatible with his past sex partners. All I have with my moid is vanilla sex. No toys or role playing involved, he doesn't find interest in porn at all. There's a moid out there for you nonnie. Don't settle.

No. 300810

I’m the anon dating the dude with the nerve damaged penis and I want to thank all the nonnas who replied to me and shared kind words and their experiences to knock some sense into me. I totally understand how his story sounds fake as shit but I should have noted that I have actually seen the scar on his dick. Still, I think there are other red flags as you all pointed out that would not have us working out in the longterm, so I don’t think I can fully commit to him. It’s a good reminder not to settle and that there are normal men out there somewhere, thank you so much nonnas!

No. 300815

Taking away key privileges could work. If you're against that, maybe you could attach the keys permanently to his phone case or some other item he wouldn't leave outside. You could get a digital lock, but those are an extra expense and you shouldn't have to.

No. 300817

Nonnies with long term relationships 2+ years,
>how do you keep things fresh?
We’ve grown used to each other’s presence by now and see each other everyday. I’m online school and his field of study isn’t a point of conversation. I’m not in STEM and I just think it’s easier for him to discuss that topic with his classmates. So generally we just cuddle after he gets home and talk about boring things like how was your day and the conversation ends. We are both introverts with no social lives outside of ourselves so we have less conversation topics than a normal couple.
>what questions should I ask him if I want us to be long term marriage material?
I’ve asked things like relationship views, porn views, family values, children, work goals, future life goals, wedding plans (we both want cheap if we can’t elope lol), emotional trauma. Is there anything else important I forgot about? I guess I haven’t talked finances, financial plans, investments. I’m not too good at finances personally and haven’t entered the workforce yet as a full time employee to plan out anything. Idk, ideally I’d like to be a housewife to him but idk how much money he needs to make for that to be a reality. And we’re not at the stage to buy a house yet, we live in a condo owned by his parents, so we haven’t talked about dream houses yet either.
We’re also both debt free and have no loans hanging over heads, that’s all I know about our financial situation.
Our political views are generally the same too so no qualms there.
>how do I “test” him?
What kinda playful jokes should I do on him to try and trick him into seeing if he’s hiding something or is secretly degenerate or something? Idk, men sometimes say one thing and lie to your face when in actuality their actions speak louder than words. What type of “shit tests” (I think they’re called that) should I do on him?
I love him a lot and think he’s the one but yeah, we’ve only been together for two years so who knows if we’ll make it down the wedding aisle. I’m aiming for that though. I date with the intention of marriage.

No. 300820

>Talk about
We talk about our day, we complain about coworkers, we talk about things going on in the world, we talk about stuff we're reading or watching separately, we talk about what's going on with our families, we talk about what we want to do this weekend or have for dinner tonight. You don't ever run out of things to talk about unless you don't like each other.
>The future
You seem to be on top of it so far. Keep in mind people change their minds about things and values can change too, especially if you are still young.
>Shit tests
Idk how sorry

No. 300821

>how do you keep things fresh?
You need to grow as people. Learn new things and try new activities and then share that with each other. Being introverted doesn't really factor into it imo, you need to get yourself more curious about the world if you want conversation to be interesting. You also need to be interested in the other person, it's confusing that you can't come up with things to ask each other beyond things people would ask an acquaintance in passing… As >>300820 said I have never run out of things to talk/laugh about with my gf, it's never been dull despite us both being introverted.

>what questions should I ask him if I want us to be long term marriage material?

Finances as you said would be good to discuss, the stuff you covered is essential so you're good on that. Health might be a relevant topic, find out what runs in his family and pay attention to long term health goals. For instance, I'm very adamant about living as long as I possibly can and need a partner who is also willing to stay fit and eat well. I want to make sure we both invest in our bodies so we can enjoy each other as long as possible, bar some tragic accident.

>how do I “test” him?

I'm a lesbian so I haven't had to do a scrote test like that, sorry.

No. 300823

Yeah, idk, maybe we are too clingy and codependent. We do everything together - watch the same movies, tv shows, read the same books. Maybe I should let us drift apart a little so then we have more things to talk about. I always tell him I want to read more history books and learn more about finances/economics but school gets in the way of that. (I am in library science which isn't very… entertaining as a topic).
>We talk about our day, we complain about coworkers, we talk about things going on in the world,[…] we talk about what's going on with our families, we talk about what we want to do this weekend or have for dinner tonight
These are mostly our everyday topics but I'd like something more mentally stimulating and in-depth like family therapy analysis, love languages, theories about why we behave the way we do - idk, I guess a great way to describe it would be introspective conversations?
>Health might be a relevant topic, find out what runs in his family and pay attention to long term health goals.
Oh geez, I forgot about health issues! He isn't very healthy… but we both agreed that we'll take care of each other when whatever happens. I have bad dementia, cancer, heart disease, Alzheimer's on my side, he just has GI and prostate cancer on his side and no dementia. We both try to keep fit and eat healthy since that can prevent most diseases.

No. 300824

To be honest, yeah, you should put some effort into doing some things independently, have some nonmutual friends, your own hobbies, etc. It's less for the sake of your relationship and more for the sake of having a healthier life overall, but it does tend to make your relationship healthier too.

No. 300835

I've been with my husband for over six years, married for two. We are not very social people either, but we share our hobbies with each other to keep things interesting. He's really into Transformers and collecting, and I'm into lolcow drama and kpop, which couldn't be more different, but it works because we get to learn from each other. I've gotten into TF and helping him collect toys, and he's gotten into following lolcow drama with me. I think if we had the same interests it wouldn't be as fun, but that's just me.

Regarding things to ask: I think you've covered what's important, but if you have any mental illnesses, make sure that he understands them and knows how to help you in times of distress. I also was going to say that things will change after you get married no matter how much you prepare and ask questions, but >>300820 already covered that.

No. 300838

Oh yeah for sure! He has no friends but some classmates he occasionally talks to. I have friends but I moved away from all of them. We only reunite twice a year it seems. Maybe I should make new friends in the city but it’s hard if I’m not working or not going to school physically anywhere.
Oh yes that’s one way of getting more engaged. My partner is into cryptocurrency which I should find out more about just so I can understand the things he says to me.
I feel like I’m out of the “honeymoon phase” and things aren’t exciting/I’m not discovering new things about him. So I guess that’s why I asked how to “keep things fresh”. I know people do role playing and try to pick their SO up in a bar lol. Maybe I can try silly things like that!

No. 300845

I'm >>300835, so he's into crypto, but what are you into? Are there any hobbies that you could potentially get him interested in?

Also you seem really optimistic about this roleplaying in a bar idea, but imo it feels a bit cringey and if you're not 110% committed to it, it will feel forced and potentially awkward.

No. 300853

>but what are you into? Are there any hobbies that you could potentially get him interested in?
I'm interested in classical music. He used to be in a jazz band and knows a little bit about music theory. He's getting me a keyboard for Christmas. We don't have one at our condo yet (which means I haven't played the piano in 2 years aka I am super rusty). I'd love to teach him piano! And I am trying to get into knitting but all I can make are scarves and hats so I am definitely not at the skill level to teach him anything higher than that yet.
Idk, maybe we can do board games and things too. We both like video games but I feel like I'm getting too old to really enjoy gaming anymore. It feels like a waste of time now and it isn't enjoyable as much anymore. I just feel like that 3h of playing a game can go into 3h of developing a new skill that can make you feel accomplished in the real world (like pottery or painting or home renovating).
> optimistic about this roleplaying in a bar idea
haha yeah we haven't tried it yet but I'm open to trying new things.

No. 300861

Have you seen his browser/internet history ?

No. 300868

No, not yet. Idk, I feel that would be an invasion of privacy. He is relatively relaxed and chill whenever I pop up behind his shoulder while he's on his phone/laptop and surprise him. And he lets me use his phone/laptop without any worry - like lets say he is in the bathroom and he wants me to read a funny article on his phone or something, he's fine with me using his phone unsupervised, even fine with leaving his laptop and phone unattended at home when he's doing a quick errand. I know his passwords too. I just feel morally wrong in sneaking behind his back and hacking into his phone/laptop and snooping around.

No. 300877

NTA, but honestly, if he's really chill with you using his computer and laptop freely and stuff, it seems like a good sign in that department. I mean, I guess he could still be a freak, but the most degenerate guy I knew (my father) was paranoid as shit around his computer. Actually knowing a degenerate helps me know what to look out for in men. It can vary case to case, but being relaxed is a good sign, and that he's not trying to hide anything.

No. 300918

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I’m only coming back here because my friends are unavailable. So right off the bat I met this guy off of bumble. That’s the first issue. Second we’re in Japan and he’s Korean. He’s 29 and im 22. He has a full time job and I’m a student. During our bumble stage he was very engaging and and checking in on me and then we decided to meet in person and it went really well. I get his LINE and that’s that. Now I don’t think he has his notifications on for LINE or what but he take a while to respond. The second time we met up he treated me again and he showed me around. Nakameguro because he lives near there and it goes well. Now the third time I initiate a date and that’s when I notice that he responds in a couple of hours. Now I’m not innocent because I respond late too but mainly out of shyness and because I don’t want to come off as desperate. I know he uses KakaoTalk because I saw his phone when it was unlocked and he got a notif while we were visiting eachother. Before we met I was on bumble unmatching a few people and I saw that he updated his profile. And so Idk what to think but I ignore it. I also got his instagram and the next morning I saw that he unfollowed me. Now these look like red flags don’t they. I went out with him for the third time and we talked a little bit more but we never got into deep conversations about our past and I never got to clarify what he wanted. Then as we were leaving he gave me a hug which was a step up because the last two times he didn’t do anything but shake my hand and then texted me later saying see you soon. The other night he mentioned he was going to watch the World Cup with his friend since Korea was playing. And then o responded this morning at 7:16 saying good morning and stuff. It’s 5:01 now and no response. Also I’m always the one saying good morning.. I’m feeling lonely in general because everyone I know is busy and so I go on bumble just to mess around and I get curious to see if his profile is still up and low and behold his profile is gone and it looks like he in unmatched me. We recently followed each other on Instagram again but I’m afraid he’s still talking to other girls. I myself have cut off multiple guys that I had been talking to because I genuinely thought it was going well. He leaves for Korea for break on the 30th and I leave on December 8th. I want to see him to fully sit omdown and discuss everything but before I get my hopes up or get attached more I want to know what you guys think because this is the first time I’ve ever made so much progress with a guy I met on a dating app. You guys can be completely brutal I don’t care. Do you think it’s worth talking to him about if I get to see him again? I made him a song playlist for him and everything. Atmosphere i trying to hard or do you think he wants to take it slow? I’ll be in the US for about 3-4 weeks. I don’t want to go back to learn there’s another girl.

No. 300940

Sorry anon those are all red flags. You should just cut your losses and move on and find another man on bumble.
He’s not interested in you and is too much of a coward to come outright and say it.
He obviously found another girl and that girl isn’t you. Why else has he distanced himself?

No. 300941

> Actually knowing a degenerate helps me know what to look out for in men
NTA but please spill your insider knowledge

No. 300942

Anyone else's partner stress and worry over the amount of sleep you're getting? I'll admit, I need to speak up at my job and demote myself to a different, less stressful position or go somewhere else, but last night I almost felt like crying due to my boyfriend nagging at me to shut up and go to sleep so I can make up for the sleep I missed out on the day before. I only got 4 hours of sleep the night before so I get his concern. I ended up getting 6 hours of sleep tonight instead of the projected 8 and a half because I got called in early, but this is solely something I need fix myself. This position I'm in at work has become a mistake, it's stressing my boyfriend out as much as I am over everything else. I am going to tell my boyfriend to stop trying to help me. I know he means well, but there's no good way to go about it with it coming off as controlling, I know it isn't his intention. These are consequences I'm going to have to deal with myself. I think me getting less sleep will push me harder to actually speak up and quit my position. Him doing what he's doing ensuring I get sleep by pressuring me to is just keeping me "content" with what I'm dealing with at work. It'll be healthier in the long run if he lets me deal with this alone. I know he doesn't like when I break out in a stress rash and crying after I get a text from someone at work, but I think all he should be doing is telling me is to quit. I realize he can't help me suffer.

No. 300945

Is it a red flag for your bf to make sexist jokes? He’s been doing it for years and I’ve never really called him out, but today I did and said that the joke must reflect his views. He immediately got annoyed and told me I’m a “grown ass woman who can’t take a joke”. I feel like he turns it around on me and makes me feel crazy for being upset at his jokes.

No. 300950

Yes. Dump him.

No. 300951

I had an ex before who'd crack the type of jokes that you'd expect teen boys to love. We weren't young, he was older than me. It stood out as weird to me. I made it clear to him that I'm not the audience for that type of humor so he mostly stopped but yeah on reflection its one of those things I wish I'd payed more attention to. Even though he stopped (after being asked) it was strange at his age. Things didn't end well later on. He did have shitty views.

If anything, being a 'grown ass' person tends to lead to you filtering out certain types of humor that were once funny to you. A grown man making sexist jokes to a woman.. not the smartest. To then be annoyed that a woman isn't loving his sexist jokes.. how braindead can he be.

No. 300952

It’s just he makes me seem crazy when I tell him I don’t like it. He gets almost…offended? That I call him out? I feel like since we’ve been together for years I’ve left it too late to call him out on it. He turns it around on me like I’m the one in the wrong.

No. 300953

You left it too long before saying something but his reaction now is only confirming your fears.

No. 300961

Of course it's a red flag. You aren't wrong, but it's a shame you waited for so long instead of seeing it as a red flag the first few times he did it. His reaction is also telling too, instead of apologizing and admitting he did wrong, he's doubling down, downplaying your thoughts and emotions, and getting mad at YOU. Typical sexist manchild behavior.

No. 300970

On the topic of boyfriends with bad humour, my moid tries to make bad puns/jokes out of anything he can and it drives me nuts. Sometimes it's actually funny and I join in, but when I'm really frustrated or tired I avoid talking to him because I don't want to deal with his goofiness until I've calmed down and I can tell it upsets him. I have told him to knock it off, though I suppose I could have been nicer about it because he got rather defensive. We have normal conversations regularly; the problem is his default setting when he sees me after an absence (coming home from work, waking up, etc) is to hurhurhur it up and I don't always want that.

No. 300971

Honestly having the same sense of humor is so important for a functional relationship. That's like one of those base requirement that should be a given.

No. 300975

Personally I hate the "hurr I'm a fucking retard" brand of humor some guys have. I'm so fucking glad my boyfriend has a cute sense of humor, instead of retarded or vulgar.

No. 300978

File: 1669404176990.jpeg (145.44 KB, 1000x1129, FhR6XlJVsAAkkKl.jpeg)

So I've always been an ugly girl, but in the past couple of years my appearance changed almost completely. I look so much better somehow, I "grew into my bones" and have started getting loads of attention from guys around my age. One of them was my long-time friend and we've been dating for 6 months now. A couple weeks ago another moid who looks absolutely amazing to me confessed his feelings, and another two guys (who are also rlly good-looking) asked me out a couple of times.
And I swear it's taking EVERY OUNCE of my self control to reject them. It literally haunts me at night, I know how retarded that sounds, but for 24 years I haven't got attention from any guy, but now suddenly so many guys who are just my type are asking me out while I'm in relationship. It feels so bad, I don't know if I should break up with my bf or not because I honestly struggle to stay loyal (I haven't cheated, I just find it hard to reject them), on top of feeling very dejected because my personality hasn't changed at all, but now that I look different suddenly everyone is interested. Am I being retarded?

No. 300981

Eh, sounds like you want to play the field and if you were ugly before and missed out… why not do it now? If you felt truly good about this person you're with you wouldn't be looking elsewhere at all.

No. 301008

I figured but then why would he tell me see you soon over text message after our second date. It really doesn’t make sense to me. I wish he’d just straight up tell me because that’s what I do.

No. 301017

Everyone, tell me I’m an idiot.
I started dating a man in May. He seemed super kind, quiet, very much my type. After we’d hung out a couple times he laid it all out for me. He’s in a “platonic open marriage”. They’ve been married for 6 years, platonic for 4. They’d both dated other people. She’d been in a year-long relationship with a man who eventually broke her heart. They’d been together for several years prior to their marriage. He told me they were on the same page about wanting to separate. She was planning on moving out, and if that didn’t happen he would move out. He told me things might be difficult “at the beginning”, and I believed him. We’re all in our 30s, btw.
Since then. Nothing has happened. They re-signed their year lease, which I didn’t know. After a couple months I sussed out that they were still sleeping in the same bed. I told him I thought it was inappropriate. He said it wasn’t sexual, it was just convenient and “it would cause problems” if he didn’t, so he didn’t change that. Meaning she would be upset. Every month or so I would check in and say, what’s going on? Whats the plan, any progress? And he would say he’s working on it. He said he was following leads for places to live, but he didn’t have enough money yet. I know he’s been working hard.
I hit the wall recently. I asked him what was going on, and he said he still didn’t have enough money to move, and she would also be uncomfortable with him subletting (they have another roommate, I was always told subletting was an option), so it made the most sense for him to wait until their lease was up. In another 7 or 8 months. I told him no, that was unacceptable. And that they still slept in the same bed was unhealthy and fucked up. We got into a big thing where I laid out my needs or else I was ready to walk away —they need to have a real conversation about their plans, obviously he needs to sleep in the spare room, and get therapy. He wanted to do it after the holidays, I told him no. I realized I can’t deal with this, and told him I need a break. Supposedly he’s been sleeping in the spare room. But the fact that he hasn’t done anything to move forward has made me realize I can’t trust his sweet words and best intentions. I told him to check in after the holidays and see if he’s done anything- anything- to move forward.
Please, give me a reality check.

No. 301019

Have fun. It won't hurt your boyfriend if he doesn't find out about it.

No. 301020

Seriously, anon? He is obviously playing you. His marriage is not platonic or open and he is not going to leave his wife to be with you. You're just his mistress. I don't get how women still fall for the " I'm about to divorce my wife soon " excuse.

No. 301031

Even if everything he is saying is 100% true the fact that he did not disclose this to you until 6 months into the relationship is a massive red flag. Leave him

No. 301032

If you’re happy with your moid and enjoy being in a committed relationship Id say stay with him. I’m also an ugly duckling who had a glow up later on and honestly playing the field is really overrated IMO. I know it depends on the person but fooling around with people you don’t emotionally click with really isn’t as fun as you may think it is. Your current boyfriend may not be ‘the one’ but ending a relationship just to fuck around usually ends in regret.

No. 301034

Samefag but I had the same thing happen to me where a moid admitted his feelings for me while he knew I was dating someone else and I left my boyfriend for him and ended up miserable. Scrotes who pursue you while you’re in a relationship are a special type of shitty. Be careful

No. 301041

> Scrotes who pursue you while you’re in a relationship are a special type of shitty. Be careful
Pretty good advice

No. 301068

He very clearly has no intentions of actually leaving his wife, I sincerely doubt anything he's actually said is true. Get rid of him.

No. 301081

This is a guy who has done sketchy thing after sketchy thing while making dumb excuses about not upsetting his wife to justify it, has made no progress in leaving his wife/ex and what little "progress" he's made is completely unproveable and amounts to nothing. He's giving you absolutely nothing in half a year, cut off immediately while it's limited to 6 months because before you know it, you're a year in, 2 years or more. And do it before the holidays so you can focus on loved ones or whatever you've got planned for the holidays.

Nothing about your posts indicated that you're particularly smitten/in love with your current bf. If you don't really see and want a long-term relationhip with him you might aswell break up and satisfy your curiosity about dating around.

No. 301165

File: 1669543344286.jpg (60.42 KB, 634x625, Sk.jpg)

>high libido, celibate for 6 years
>horny for most men I spend more than an hour with
>manager 10 years my senior recently single after breaking up with partner
>sexual attraction is affecting my personal and work life

I'm getting sexual dreams about him, and masturbating to thoughts of him. We spend a lot of time together anyway because of work, but I'm low-key flirting with him and putting myself in positions where he'll instigate something, even though I know he's a good guy who won't do such a thing, as he's in a position of care for his direct reports.

He's a normie, very friendly with everyone, not smart - completely the opposite of me, but my horniness is making me an absolute freak.
>inb4 get a vibrator
I own 3 and a dildo already.

No. 301169

I know it may be tempting as fuck and being mad horny for someone at work can be exciting but take it from someone who has been there/done that…do NOT, I repeat, do NOT shit where you eat. If you ever end up leaving to work elsewhere, go ahead and make a bold move—hell, do it on your last day! Your post just made me squirmy asf bc it brought back memories of my doomed workplace affair kek

No. 301175

So tired. SO SO tired of this unappreciative loser.

No. 301176

Thank you for the responses. I finally gathered the courage to bring the topic of breakup to him. Besides his initial shock, it went way better than I expected. I feel guilty, but I know this is best for me and my future.

No. 301209


why have you been celibate for years? imo it's a reeeeal bad idea to get involved with anyone you work with. my best friend at work is going through this rn and it is so awkward, and they did not even do anything.

anyways, it's not too hard to a man to sleep with though if that's what you really need-i feel like it's easier to find hookups than men actually looking for relationships. because it doesn't sound like you love him it sounds like you are just lusting after him.

No. 301218

NTA but I am currently going through a curse of crushing for a coworker really hard. Someone pls share workplace romance horrors to convince my brain out of it because I am suffering.

No. 301221

File: 1669585214456.jpg (34.98 KB, 640x360, PRI_201959227.jpg)

No, I'd rather be celibate and invest in a fuck machine than have a hookup with a retarded guy I have zero chemistry with. I don't even have great chemistry with my manager, tbf, but even that is better than a random guy. The first guy I tried hooking up with I walked out on because he refused cunnilingus. The other had a micropenis.

Like the other anon said, wouldn't mind hearing your story. I'll keep your advice in mind, I already feel embarrassed at how transparent and desperate my behaviour must look. I've said some really autistic shit about his break up and he's a major normie. The only thing I've got going for me is my age, and even then I'm an ugly awkward 25 year old, not a hot one…

No. 301226

Okay, I hope this helps nonnie. I briefly dated my manager; we had never met in person because we're an international company but when my work held a company wide celebration we ended up hooking up on the final night which then led to us getting together secretly soon after it ended. At first it was amazing; we fell really, really hard for one another (or at least he acted like he did). It was exciting, fulfilling, genuinely the happiest I had ever been with someone, but he broke up with me a couple months later after he told me that he wasn't over a previous relationship. The first few months following the breakup were awful, despite being my manager he never spoke to me once during this time, actively coming up with ways to negate checking up on me one-on-one. This made me genuinely terrified of going to him to ask questions because I felt like I was a bother. I was also very paranoid that I'd lose my job. After a while he started to talk to me again, but things have never been the same. I know he doesn't want to talk to me, that if it were up to him that we would never speak again, and that feeling is always present whenever I have to send him a message or see him during a meeting (which are also extremely awkward). It's humiliating. I feel so awful about myself. It feels like he's disgusted with me when I know I never did anything wrong or hurtful towards him. HE kissed ME. HE pursued ME. And yet I feel like a monster. I've tried so hard to keep the peace and to make sure things aren't awkward. We've gotten to the point where we're friendly with each other and joke around again, which feels nice at the time, but in these moments I want so badly to ask him, don't you know how much this all hurts? Did you ever actually care for me, even just a little bit? I don't know what your relationship is like with this coworker, how closely you have to work with them, but don't do it. It's really not worth it no matter how much it may seem like things could be different with them. If things ever go south like it did with me, it hurts incredibly.

No. 301237

When I meet a new moid I always have to check what his stance is on abortions but like how do I bring this up in a normal conversation without sounding insane? Then again if he thinks I'm insane then I should leave him right

No. 301239

Nonnas what is your stance on religious moids? Muslims are no game for me, idk about christians/catholics but they're a turn-off sometimes

No. 301241

Muslim men use kaffir women for their promiscuous years, before having an arranged marriage with a virgin Muslim woman. Any "Muslim" man who's willing to date a kaffir is the most misogynistic selfish user of any men you will meet. They view kaffir as sluts to use before settling down with a quality woman.

And this is coming from a Muslim woman. I'm incredibly paranoid about Islamic marriage, because this kind of disgusting behaviour is rife in low-value Muslim men living in the West.

No. 301242

muslim men after seeing a divorced woman while they drink alcohol, have a body count of 20, curse and spend hundreds of thousands a year

No. 301247

see if you could bring it up in the context of current events, like "did you hear this thing about the supreme court? ever since the abortion ruling…" (assuming you're in burgerland i guess). moids love opining about politics so you'll probably learn about his other views as well

No. 301268

>be me
>talk to a moid for a few weeks, get feelings
>turns out he's a JW and bonus he doesn't believe in evolution
I hate my life, every time I meet a moid who's nice, he's either taken or something like this. I have some witch curse on me I think.

No. 301270

samefag but I guess I can date women instead being bi and shit but then there's the troon problem so I guess I'm fucked

No. 301273

Thanks anon for sharing your experience. It is hard to see the bigger picture once you are already crushing so that helps.

No. 301318

How do you talk for "weeks" without breaching the topic of beliefs very early on?

No. 301333

There are some Christians/Catholics that are “lukewarm”. Basically, they say they believe in God and Jesus, but have a lot of liberal leanings that don’t always align with the church, such as being pro-choice.
Even though there might be some flexible Christians and Catholics (that might hardly be considered as such), I still get some ick because they’re believing in a religion that has roots in misogyny and animal sacrifice, and it’s written in the Old Testament. I can’t help but wonder if in the back of their mind, they believe women are lesser.
So yes I’ve considered Christians and Catholics when dating, but I prefer someone who is plainly spiritual or a Wiccan or something.

No. 301339

He's a moid, take what you will of that kek

No. 301340

I could never date a Jovo. My sister is a primary school teacher and around this time of year her parents tell my sister she can’t join in with all the Christmas related activities. How cruel? They are literally all autistic weirdos and I never open the door when they come knocking with their stupid booklets

No. 301341

No religion, preferably, ideally, like me. I honestly don’t know anyone who is religious or religious outwardly if that makes sense. But I would avoid and never go near a Muslim and those kind of brown scrotes, I feel so sorry for all Muslim women

No. 301390

i think it depends on what "religious" means to them. i've dated a few moids (irish catholic, jewish) who claimed their religions due to their value as ethnic markers, but didn't really adhere to any of the tenets of their faiths beyond not killing people and observing the major holidays. basically, if he's sufficiently half-assed about it, i don't consider it a red flag for anything beyond mild hypocrisy.
this is exclusively for the mainstream, comparably normie shit. i would never, ever date anyone who claimed to be a mormon

No. 301403

ayrt and he went on a spergy paragraph about how he thinks blood transfusions are bad and that there's plenty of other ways to save people like kek, I'm thinking about that case of the poor little girl who died because her parents refused one in an emergency as a result of some car accident iirc. jfc.

No. 301421

Is my nigel saying men aren't dangerous and my fear of them is irrational a red flag?

No. 301425

Yes imo. Best case scenario, he is just incredibly naive and blind to women's issues. You could try showing him some statistics that show why you are so cautious, like femicide rates or how much stronger men are than women physically. But honestly the men most likely to hurt you are the ones in your life like your nigel. I don't know anything about him so I won't jump to conclusions, but be careful anon. Trust your gut. Leave if he's showing too many red flags, pay attention to not only how he treats you but the world around him.

No. 301426

Personally I would say yes. This may be because I have been in abusive relationships but I hear that and can’t help but think he would be trying to lower your guard and increase how comfortable you are with him. Even guys I’ve known who have been super naive and green to the real world knew that men are dangerous and it’s reasonable for women to take precautions. Obviously take what an Internet stranger says with a grain of salt but I would be a bit alert if I were you.

No. 301429

>pay attention to not only how he treats you but the world around him.
What do you mean how he treats the world around him?

No. 301430

How he treats other people, service workers especially, animals, etc.

No. 301445

He’s an idiot, men are obviously dangerous to women. Does he think women don’t get raped, beaten, or harassed?

No. 301508

File: 1669735940586.gif (461.98 KB, 400x296, D9922BF4-E3D4-4666-9658-33C1BC…)

How do you deal with a partner who micromanages everything you do? I love my gf but I feel like I can’t do anything right in her eyes. I’ll be folding laundry and she’ll ask why I’m folding shirts instead of hanging dresses first, as if that’s something everyone knows. Or I’ll go to the grocery store and she wants bread so I pick up the bread we normally get but no, I should’ve picked up the one on sale. I’m afraid to do or say anything because I know she’ll find issue with it. She says I need to be better at picking up on context clues and that I should just text her if I have questions but that’s the thing, I never know what it is I’m doing wrong until she points it out! My self esteem has gone downhill but I don’t know how to confront her because in her eyes she is right and I am just the bumbling oaf. Actually as I’m typing this I’m realizing that she doesn’t actually do anything around the house because she’s “tired from work”. Why have me do everything if I can’t do it right?

No. 301523

I thought it’s called “nagging”

No. 301525

File: 1669740790599.jpg (134.63 KB, 823x823, 1578489406159.jpg)

Nonnas I know this is going to be long but I really need advice. This is my first time posting on this thread so I hope I don't mess it up

>in my early twenties

>complex PTSD from years of abuse and parental neglect. Affection and touch starved (like, a lot).
>I do consistently work on my issues and see a therapist
>recently managed to get on disability and my first job ever, looking forward to moving out
>all is going well at work, coworkers are nice
>3 monthes in
>coworker my age that I'm used to see around and whos kinda hot and my type talks to me for the first time and asks for my number
>we text but we don't have much in common, esp. since he's from Sudan and struggles with the language (I'm from Europe). But he's cute and I'm affection starved so I agree to a coffee date
>it goes pretty ok but towards the end, he goes from shy to very forward, we hug and kiss for like an hour
>I find out I don't like deep kisses at this point (at least now at this point in my life) so I keep avoiding them, he insists a lot tho
>back home I freak out and avoid him for a few days
>eventually I tell him I'm sorry I do like him but things went too far for me last time
>agree on a 2nd date
>again he wants to french kiss and tries to touch my chest. I have to tell him no a few times for him to stop insisting
>today at break we went to his friend's place when nobodys there (bad idea ik) and cuddle on the couch
>well I just want to cuddle but he keeps grinding on me and trying to touch me on intimate places
>again I have to say no many times and struggle in his hold to get off the couch. He always laugh it off
>am torn on what to do because I do want to cuddle but he keeps making it sexual
>go back to work trying to keep friendly but distant

Other things he's said/done:
>decided I'm his girlfriend although we've only been on like, two dates?
>wants to know where I live exactly (still haven't told him)
>wants me to come over to his place (yeah, not gonna happen)
>wants me to tell my parents abt him
>mentions wanting us to move in together

It's frustrating cuz my love starvation and the fact he is very cute and my type keep me hooked on him, despite him making me uncomfortable and probably only wanting sex from me. Also knowing we'll keep seeing eachother at work and that it'll be awkward.

If someone could give me some insight/advice I would be very grateful

No. 301526

I met a male recently, he wasn't outwardly religious, I wouldn't have known it if we didn't start talking about more serious topics. But after we did I found out he was Catholic (non practicing?) and when he described the way it influenced his world view it made me put down religion as a hard no. Maybe that makes me a bigot but I wouldn't ever date with someone who says he 'believes in the power of prayer' or a real Devil. He also said other stuff about his own behaviour that was orange flags. Learning this side of him was like the opposite of >>301390 's post, it felt like it came out of nowhere since he wasn't brought up as a Catholic, like it's hardly Ireland (literally not Ireland). I'd say that moid was conservative, not stereotypically so, but we're in our early 20's and he seems so weirdly out of touch after I scratched the surface in a way that's not worth bothering with for me as a woman. And I'm glad I experienced it now and not later so I know what I wouldn't compromise over. I am an extreme skeptic and also not white so I don't want anything to do with Abrahamic religions that have had nothing to do with my original culture. I've lost enough connection to my roots, I feel like if I got serious with a Christian man that would be pickme behaviour on a spiritual level, not that I mean this super seriously but I hope someone else gets what I mean. Do any other POC anons have similar experiences with living in a mostly white Christian area?

No. 301528

nonny i think you should try to bring it up to her, might be cringe but maybe use "i messages". you could use what you wrote down "i feel like i can't do anything right in your eyes", then expand on how you feel in response to the things that upset you. try to bring it up on a day she might not work or something. i hope you can reach a compromise or work through things, you could tell her you'd like her to help out a bit and split up chores. i wish you the best

No. 301529

This guy is literally assaulting you. Stay away from him. The affection of men is cheap, you can get it anywhere. Stop thinking he is the only choice.

No. 301530

red flags all over, i know you're touch starved but do Not date this man. he is pushing your boundaries, a coworker (dating in the workplace is a no in my books to be honest), and no matter how attractive he is it seems like he will only hurt you further. you deserve someone who you view as attractive that will respect your boundaries, not pressure you for sex, and will take things slow. fuck that guy.

No. 301533

That sounds exhausting. I’m sad to say I used to behave similarly to my ex. I wish I could put my finger on exactly why, but I think I have some co-dependency issues and emotional flashbacks from childhood. It’s like wanting on some subconscious level to merge together so he couldn’t disappoint me. I did in some capacity know my expectations of him were irrational and felt bad and ashamed about it.

I remember feeling like I often did more for us in the relationship, and eventually I got into this resentful mindset I guess. We also struggled with communication in general. I regret not having shown more appreciation for him now, so maybe that’s a way you can talk to your gf about it? Say you feel underappreciated and that you would like to practice expressing more gratitude? I think it’s harder to feel critical towards someone all the time if you learn to appreciate their efforts.

I wish I had better advice. This type of behaviour is toxic and narcissistic, and I think the biggest problem is that your gf isn't willing to listen to you. If she won’t change, it’s better to cut your losses than have your confidence completely destroyed. I'm sorry you're going through this.

No. 301535

the urge to become febfem but that's arguably worse

No. 301537

He's Sudanese, can't speak the language, and wants to move in with you and meet your parents? Are you that dense? He's clearly after residency.

No. 301538

woc anon here, honestly most christian white moids are either conservative or do that weird kindness act where they say shit like "god loves us all and everyone is equal" but you can tell they see you as a charity case being a woman of colour.

No. 301540

Thx nonnas, I needed to hear it from someone else than myself. Gotta greyrock and cope with hobbies and ao3 i guess. And cling to the hope that I'll find my nigel in the future when I'll be in a better place mentally

No. 301541

>you can tell they see you as a charity case being a woman of colour.
Thanks for the warning because luckily I haven't experienced that yet. Sounds horrible, more so when it's a religion where non believers just haven't seen the light is built into it.

No. 301554

also I get you on the pick-me thing, I feel like I'm erasing my deep female cultural roots by sullying myself with a moid KEK

No. 301558

I grew up in an african islamic house hold. I’m an athiest now and my worst experience has by far been with muslim moids. They are the most entitled, regressive and abusive people i’ve ever come across. Don’t even get me started on the weird white guys that convert to islam.

Anyway, I don’t think i could date a man who follows an abrahamic religion. I can’t speak on polytheistic religions bc it’s not big where I live right now (White christian/mormon area) but most men who follow abrahamic religions are conservative and misogynistic and have never had an original thought in their lives.

Weirdly enough though I would like to date someone with a similar background to me (growing up muslim). My boyfriend is half Indonesian and grew up somewhat muslim but in a white washed way. He doesnt believe in or care for it tho but its really nice to be able to talk about cultural similarities and our background without the fear the fear of shame or judgement. Its rare and im really lucky

No. 301559

Maybe you should stop being such a dumb ass

No. 301562

Seconding this.

No. 301565

okay narcissistic moid.

No. 301566

You’re a retard, op’s girlfriend is negging her to death. Nonna does she do other nitpicks behaviors or is it just this? Either way it’s not okay for her to treat you this way.

No. 301567

someone being upset that they try to do everything right but keep getting criticised for random shit is their fault? anon is dating a lazy, micromanaging narc who thinks everything she does is right while everything anon does is wrong and anon's the dumbass? literal dismissive scrote mentality.

No. 301579

Thank you. I feel bad for posting because I love her so much but I’ve grown to feel as though she’s just tired and annoyed with me; that the only reason she’s still with me is because of our lease and finances.The negging is really the only complaint I have in the relationship. I just don’t know how to feel right now and am scared of confronting her.

Thank you as well. That is good advice to remember for the future!

No. 301582

I'm not a moid. You both sound like you don't know how to do basic chores.

No. 301583

She literally sounds like those people who need a step by step tutorial to order Subway. If your finances are tight it's common sense to buy bread that's on sale, or, even better, call your girlfriend when you're at the store and ask. Are all of you this incompetent?

No. 301593

OP here. Harsh but you are right in a way. I wrote my post out of anger but when I take a step back and look, I really do need my hand held for a lot of things. I would still appreciate it if she helped out more but that’s on me to tell her. Thank you for the honesty.

No. 301604

she should still help anon more. it's not fair to pin it all on your partner dumbass

No. 301608

I’m sorry but the problem is clearly the girlfriend. OP is retarded for not having the balls to stand up for herself against the narc gf.

If u get the same bread everyday, why assume you’d need to get the cheaper one? And had she gotten the cheaper one I bet her girlfriend would complain about how she should’ve stuck with the regular bread they get.

It’s not even about being unable to do the tasks - as OP stated she is the one who does most of the work - it’s about doing the task exactly the way her girlfriend wants her to at that moment. If she has a problem with the way you do things, the way you fold clothes, etc and your self esteem is getting worse you really need to talk to your partner. If they dont like the way you do it they can do it themselves or shut up.

And this >>301593 is why you’re a dumbass bitch. You’re a doormat. You’re allowed to be upset and want more help. You’re allowed to complain about your girlfriends unnecessary demands. Stand up for yourself jesus

No. 301617

don't be idiotic. that sort of narc would get mad at her for buying the sale bread if she did. nothing you do is right in a narc's eyes.

No. 301775

If you have your confidence destroyed by someone telling you how to fold clothes and buy bread that's on sale, you never had much confidence to begin with.

No. 301797

No, her girlfriend has a rigid way of thinking where she's the only one who knows how to do things correctly and other people are too retarded for that, it's exhausting and you have to constantly walk on eggshells for everything you do and say. She gave two random examples that probably happened recently but you just know it happens everyday for any reason.

No. 301818

I'm similar to you anon, I grew up in a south asian islamic household and will avoid south asian islamic men at all costs (and muslims in general). They are consistently the most abusive, controlling, narc type of men to exist.

I hope more muslim women grow some balls and end their torture. There's a better life out there for us and those of us in western countries have the opportunity to take it. I don't regret my actions and am now living with my bf away from my family and I'm the happiest I've ever been.

No. 301819

I should say *ex muslim women. I'm an atheist now and now of many atheist/agnostic women in muslim households living in fear

No. 301829

Is anyone best friends with their ex?

I posted here last month about how I was considering breaking up with my boyfriend because our relationship went long distance and we didn’t know when we would be living in the same area again. Well, we broke up because of these circumstances, but we talk every day and have discussed continuing a romantic relationship again in the future if fate brings us together again.

I want to stay single for a while before dating again but… for future reference… would it be normal to feel weird about dating again when I’m ready? I think breaking up for now was the right decision, but I would really like him to be the one I end up with in the end, and it feels like we’re in somewhat of a pseudo-relationship right now. Maybe it needs more time.

No. 301835

>discussed continuing a romantic relationship again in the future if fate brings us together again
I've seen situations like this play out with friends and ngl I've made a note personally never to wait around on a guy who've I've already had one break up with. That all break ups are final and bfs know theres no dropping it and picking it back up later when it suits. I know theres always going to be exceptions to the rule but from what I've seen it results in either relationships that cycle through making up and breaking up several more times before they truly call it a day.. or one of you waits for the other and then finds out the other person wasn't returning that favor and they've suddenly met someone else. Most of my friends that entertained that idea weren't experienced in dating. It was their first relationship so in a way they just couldn't picture themseles with anyone else.

Breaking up once is usually enough to know that the future doesn't look bright. It sets a bad precedence.

No. 301841

How so? I'm what you could call a febfem because I'm bi but prefer women and don't want to date moids, and I'd argue it's a good choice. I feel like I can't connect with moids on a deep enough level to be in a relationship with them, and statistically it's way more dangerous to date them too. Not saying women can't be shitty people and massive retards because I've met my fair share of those types too kek but you know

No. 301917

I'm very good friend with my ex but our breakup was final, no lingering feelings or hopes on either side. I think it's very unhealthy to linger like this and someone is bound to get hurt. In your case either make some solid plans with him - something along the lines of "in two years let's move together to x city and try again"; so you're both on the same path and have the same specific goal regarding your relationship; or cut / limit contact and if fate brings you together, then you can maybe think of rekindling this.

No. 301933

How do I deal with a clingy scrote who will not leave me alone?
Ok so a while back I had an LDR with some redditor-type scrote, I was a huge pickme back then (making fun of other women, being antifeminist, crying about men’s issues, pretending to want a trad lifestyle). I don’t know what happened but the scales fell from my eyes and I just saw everything I did as disgusting and destructive and I started hating him as well. I made up some tragic reason why we couldn’t talk anymore along with me not thinking it would work out. I cut things off.
Well he’s been flooding my notifications. I have no idea what he’s saying because I never open anything.
Thinking about him just repulses me and reminds me of a time in my life where I did not value myself…

Anyways what should I do? Just let him keep talking into the abyss? The messages haven’t stopped in frequency for a few years now. Should I block him? Delete the account? Confront him and tell him there’s no chance?
It makes my stomach upset just thinking about him and what he’s done/doing tbh.

No. 301943

Why are you so scared of just blocking him? Clearly you’re not interested and havent been friends for years just block him. Unless he knows information that can put u in harm its just better to block

No. 301960

>Breaking up once is usually enough to know that the future doesn't look bright. It sets a bad precedence.
Yeah. If it's like a fling sure it might work in the future. But an ACTUAL long-term relationship? LOL. LMAO. If your moid gave up/figured out he doesn't love you, you can quote him on that for the rest of your life, regardless of what he

lies he comes up with later on.
At best he'll be stringing you along because he's a loser with no options. Until he won't. And that's the best case scenario.

No. 301968

File: 1670011271878.gif (3.55 MB, 498x278, block-blocked.gif)

The solution is really simple.

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