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I've seen anons almost try their best to conceal the fact that it's an online relationship they're talking about in the other thread. After a while you get a feel for when anons are holding that info back.
But if there's a thread especially for that then that seems fair and will probably lead to more openness.
Internet men will prey on us when we're really young and impressionable, on top of that it's often young girls who are bullied in school/come from broken homes who rely on attention online as a coping mechanism
I think we should either use this thread or create another thread for women who are victims
of abuse via online relationships
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It's a joke about incel moids who have weird bdsm/sex relationships with girls in their discords who don't know that the dude is an ugly incel because online he is a big boi discord mod with a cool anime pfp who talks down to his "kitten".
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Another meme to illustrate
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Is online dating worth it? I have niche interests and I can only find people that share them online, which is important for me. I don't want to date a normie either. I'm also very introverted and most of my social interaction is online, so it'd be easier to find someone online. I wouldn't want to be in an official relationship with someone until we met up, but I could still date and get to know someone before meeting them. People say online dating never works so Idk what to do, I don't want to be single forever
yes it works as well as anything. and people who say it doesnt work are 100 years old. everyone is terminally online now.
to make it work, you both need to be honest and communicate openly though. video chat immediately and often so you dont waste time with a catfish.
yeah, if you just live e.g. in different cities a 2 hour drive away or right on the border of neighboring countries and meetup regularly with a concrete plan to close the distance eventually, no one's gonna make fun of you unless they're feeling bitter themselves.
problem is many of these online relationships involve deeply socially isolated people who can't find anyone in real life not because of niche interests but due to a lack of social skills/hobbies that don't involve posting on websites/personality problems that become obvious in actual real life interaction. they can live as far apart as different continents and often have no prospects of moving to be together since they'd just be working dead-end retail jobs out of a lack of marketable skills. it's like prison homosexuality, undesirables flocking together out of a lack of better options.
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He suggested meeting up but I don't want to be nervous, I want to have the upper hand. He doesn't know that I know his address and has no clue I live near him. I know where he does his grocery shopping and where he usually goes for walks so I thought about "randomly" running into him as our first meeting. Is that fucked up? I just don't want it to be so planned and tense like those LDR first meeting videos on Youtube.
>>283912>within 6 months
Tbf that was pretty hard to do during Covid. But yeah, if I ever find someone again who happens to be online I'll be more serious to meet up irl before being official. I'm happy for you that you made it work. >>283910
That was just an example, there's tons of articles and stories about successful LDRs so I'm sure it can happen. No need to be so rude.
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No, just utter failures and wastes of time.
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i know i did NOT just read that you met, let alone, married, a man from kiwifarms. the end times truly are near.
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The first platform me and my husband used to regularly text in 2015 when we first started "dating" (before we met irl) was discord so I guess mine is a success story
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First off, yes, I've been in an online relationship for probably longer than anyone here, it is retarded, I am a loser virgin in a relationship with a virgin, kek.
So. Yes. I'm on the verge of breaking up with my e-boyfriend. I don't really know what to do. We had a life planned out together. It's fading away.
I've found out he a really creepy view of having kids…one that made me see the relationship differently.
It started off with him saying something like, "I know for a fact everyone would love having a kid if they have one. Someone is kidding themselves if they think they're in a bad position to have a kid because the motivation and happiness from it will fix their other issues", then framed it like a fact people should have kids or else they're being irrational–
he acted like impoverished people, mentally ill, or just other people having issues SHOULD have kids, and that there are 0 excuses.
It's a very weird hyper-individualistic take on it too, like what cults use to rope in egos into an otherwise moblike cult. Like, "having a kid will give eternal happiness and fulfillment to a parent! This is a FACT!" Y'know. Not talking about family or the work it takes. It's funny because I doubt he's into single parents, he has expressed criticism before, but not once did he mention families or support networks. Also–his own dad was abusive and tried murdering his mother in front of his face when he was a little boy ffs.
Also, mllions of men bitch about being baby trapped, about the "ball and chain", about hating their families, etc. And so do plenty of women. I don't buy into the shit that they're somehow fulfilled and I am not prepped to put on my dunce cap and pretend they actually love it.
Me? I have consistently been, "having a kid can be nice! I think how it goes is heavily dependent on who someone is and how good their environment is" but he seemed to bulldoze over this and act like it's foolish (no he actually had no argument besides having a kid being more fulfilling than anything else) which probably has, to my dumb, meek mind, caused permanent psychic damage and made me far more creeped out by the crowd of people that want people to have kids. I mean, this man literally acted like other issues don't matter, which shows a most insane lack of…what is it? Empathy for the wildly different experiences people have?
Also–I have illnesses and hormone issues related to high-risk pregnancies and was deemed unfit to even drive a car, so, that he doesn't seem to care and flings this shit is…whew!
Just take me out back and shoot me. It isn't like for years he said anything as extreme.
In fact I checked and he's a hypocrite about it too. He has said he doesn't want a kid now, that things are rough, that maybe 10 years down the line would work for us. So, why is he flinging shit at people that are not wanting kids despite being on the fence?? Wut.
I loved him and we had so many wonderful times together. I thought I could trust him.
But I realize that maybe I don't really know him after all.
PS: yes, I might be overreacting. It's just the way he said these things, the hypocrisy, the conviction…
no, I don't think I can handle it on a consistent basis. I don't think I'd be able to handle it if 10 years he started acting as if I'm deranged and don't know myself if I want a kid.
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thank you for the vote of confidence, nona.
I'd normally try working things out - relationships are precious - I'm beginning to realize that there is just something up with the way he thinks. Looking back I realize this didn't come out of nowhere. The few times we fought in the past were over very similar.
I have had many online friends in the past, including for a few years. Disagreements were common except, I never felt…cornered or helpless and things always weren't messy. There was always mutual ground found. Believe it or not, I hate arguing and try compromising.
When my e-bf came back, we ended up having another discussion that quickly erupted into an argument and turned out he said that he thinks everything he is saying is a fact in spite of it being extreme.
And…it turned out he seems to lack empathy or even any care at all for women that suffered in bad relationships. In fact, I am starting to suspect that he has lied a lot about how he sees women which…isn't a good feeling.
O. Also, he's never expressed any interest in kids besides the vague idea of it. He seems to hate kids too which is what made his point so ridiculous and reeking of an agenda. So much of what he ended up saying was cult-like. I won't go into it. But it was bad.
I wish I didn't try to talk and just attempted to break-up because his behavior got so repulsive and it's retrospectively starting to ruin the good memories I have of him.
I can't believe he managed to act so much more mature before.
picrel is the quickest dumb reaction image I could find. but nothing will encompass the feeling I have. I really hate this and I hate that he's acting like this. Literally all he needed to do was not be a douche and stop spamming "this is a fact" constantly.
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Yes I have an e-boyfriend. Yes he's a moderator of a discord server. Yes he hangs around on 4chan. Yes I met him through youtube (originally a fan). Yes he sometimes draws lewd animations. Yes he masturbates for me on camera and we call that sex. Yes he likes anime and hentai. Yes he has a figure and manga collection. Yes he lives in a 1st world country and I live in a shithole. Yes he's a virgin and a gamer. Yes he's autistic. Yes he's greasy and doesn't bathe that often. Yes he's 29 and balding with a skinnyfat tummy. But this is the happiest relationship I've ever had in my life, he really loves me even with my BPD episodes and supports my artistic ventures even though I'm a hikki neet. Really recommend!!
My E-moid friend of 4 years just had the talk with me. We have crazy sexual tension, like I never thought you'd could have it so bad via video call & text but fuck me, anyways all our mutual friends kinda pin us as a couple and we even both admitted to treating each other like bf/gf but more "relaxed". Never really thought much of it, yeah I'm lowkey in love but I'm not so retarded that I'm about to edate, I kinda just live with it and enjoy talking to him. Anyways I was fake arguing with him saying he was away for the past 3 days bc he was fucking prostitutes (he's a mega virgin), I'm just tryna piss him off, then he starts questioning what I'm saying and ultimately it starts with "I thought you had a crush on me" I was like yeah no shit, I thought it'd been obvious, he explained how he was never sure & how he thought it just went away for me & recent events was us just joking around. Then he was talking about how he was worried that I was dealing with it in an unhealthy way which I don't really understand what the guy is on about but I'm fine I think? Then he got onto the topic about how he can never tell when I'm jokingly mad and we cleared all that up. Reading that all back sounds really cringe kek I'm sorry nonnas. But I'm just scared that he'll become weird and distant now that we've sort of addressed it (we've discussed before that he's emotionally unavailable and scared of being vulnerable with others). I don't want to lose him, loving aside, he's the first guy I've ever been friends with who seems to genuinely care about me and isn't scared off from my abrasive personality. We've played around with the idea of meeting when I get a passport, possibly living together too, I think that'd be the only way we'd date, in some sort of LDR. I don't even know anons there's so much shit that's gone on it confuses me slightly but I'd also much rather there be a clouded ambiguous answer than a miserable truth. I am retarded but free
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>>285241>I wouldn't want to date anyone from online forums>shitting on people
Kek talk about dissonance
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I’m edating my husbant for almost a year now ,I’m 20 and he’s 17,I’m schizo hikki he’s in school and has a lot of friends that I talk to sometimes ,he plans on coming to see me by the end of this year, but im afraid he’s not capable of handling things (he’s very unreliable at times (I still haven’t got a parcel from him tagt he supposedly posted two months ago ) I’m afraid but I love him and I can’t imagine being with anyone else but I’m very cynical and doubtful at best and hopeless at worst and being dissociative and depressed doesn’t make it easier
Oh did I also mention that we’re in a femdom rs .
He’s gonna be 18 b4 he comes to see me
If that’s weird then it’s just one more weird thing in my life O_o(O_o)
I am generally against the idea of a woman dating someone 3-4 or more years younger than her (if a moid is in early 20s and she is in mid-to-late 20s) because of what >>287657
said. A lot of anons seem to not know what kind of pain in the ass it is to date men, especially if they are young. I am talking about the internet-addicted coomer types 99% of which are online. I believe it's whatever once both parties are in 30s.
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How do you get over the fear that he could die and you wouldn't know? A few months ago there was a shooting dangerously close to where he lives and he was lucky he wasn't there at the time, but it just made me stupidly paranoid.
Ayrt, time passes by quickly, didn't mean for it to be a relationship for either one in the beginning, and by the time it's 2 or 3 years, I get such tremendous fear for some reason and wanted to put meeting off since I felt safe comfort in the talking online. The first one didn't really push me to meet either until year 2 and we did have him fly near me to meet, I felt a bit creeped out by his erratic behaviors but I was basically alone and easy to manipulate so I didn't take that as a bad thing. Then he suddenly decided to move across the country to me and I freaked out, said I don't agree to that, can't support him if hes here and not comfortable living with him at all rn and he showed up a month later at a parking lot in a u-haul truck with all his stuff and I had to pay for that u-haul. He had a hotel room, bitched about my town and found an apartment in my nearest city and he didn't have my address so I told him to leave me alone and then he had his mom call me to tell me I'm evil and lured her son away just to break his heart. I freaked out at the anger I was getting and blocked everyone and he left me a lot of voice-mails crying about how he's gonna be an engineer one day (he had done one semester of college at 25).
The second one I didn't meet irl and he was nice to me at first but he lied to me about being disabled for a long time. I didn't know he was in such a condition and I am not in a state to provide for or care for someone like that (lived off of parents and refused to apply for disability or anything). I felt really bad for him as it was a physical condition but he would put a ton of emotional labor on me about how he wants to die all the time. Most of our talks gravitated toward how hard his life is. I didn't feel anything romantic from him anymore (he was way different in the beginning) and I felt extremely guilty for that. One day I got drunk and just ended it with him and told him I'm done with online relationships, I'm not going to him and that's it. He tried to bargain and say we could have a nice life together and he can get me a job at his dad's company etc but I didn't want to hear that. I wanted him to get a job, he could game all day do why not work remotely. He sobbed a lot and told me I was a fucking whore. That was that.
I like Nightshade, it's on steam and consoles
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I rarely do online relationships, nor am I not seriously the best at handling distance, but 2 years ago (e-dating pandemic), I met this guy on discord from a small music collective server. For some reason, I garnered a liking towards him, primarily for his personality, although his looks were decent (I think we equated with each other during that time). We got to know each other a little over Snapchat, then the next month, I told him that I liked him and the reason why I did. At first, he was iffy (which is understandable), and it made me a bit sick because I felt like I was embarrassing myself, but after some communication, we've decided to take it slow and form a deeper connection with each other which I found out we are similar with music taste, family issues/past, and self-identity.
We've managed to go strong during Christmas time lol. We started getting confident with giving each other affection (the typical couple shit), and throughout the time, it was such a genuine relationship since we were good friends, had good communication, and had well developed trustworthy bond. Then, probably at the end of December or after the new year, his depression got worse, and he started to interact with me less and less (I did ask him about his depression, but I was only told, "I'm fine"). I'm not sure if I should go in-depth about our terrible conflict during January, but I did say some harmful words toward him (I deeply regret it because, in my mind, I felt like the relationship was one-sided, which was my biggest fear lol). The week before my birthday, he wanted to end the relationship because he felt like his depression would affect the relationship, and I was extremely devasted for many reasons, but I understood why, although he still really liked me and wanted to continue our good ole friendship. Sorry if this was half-assed (I'm a little bit lazy lmao) anyways our relationship would probably be better if it was IRL ig idk
KEKKKK though I feel as if you’re jerking our chains if ya know what I mean. Are you trolling us, nonny
This is something I'm wondering too since I'm in the same boat. Trying to find a date IRL as a lesbian that has niche interests/beliefs and doesn't relate to the wider LGB community and doesn't click with the normie lesbians I talked to on apps, so I wonder if finding someone online and planning to meet up would work. Most of the worst e-dating stories I read are from straight couples, and lesbians tend to make up 1-2% of the population, so going online makes more sense in that case.
It makes me wonder how women get into relationships like this, though. All my crushes were on girls I knew in-person, and despite having online friends forever due to being an outcast, I could never be attracted. I was online friends with one cool nerdy girl in high school, we got along great (and liked girls), she showed a selfie once and was just my type, but I felt nothing despite having a platonic bond. Maybe it would be different as an adult, but when I see people gush over their online friend crushes, I don't get it, but I'm also jealous since I wish I could do that since online seems like my only chance.
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Nonnies, I have a peculiar request. Could I anonymously e-mail a fellow nonnie for advice on my long-distance relationship? You can use proton mail or any throwaway e-mail, or even a throwaway Discord.
The reason is that my moid lurks lc and I'm concerned he'd find a public post and know it's about our relationship. I don't have any friends outside of him but I think I really need a third party to tell me what they think about our situation.
Go ahead nonna, my throwaway is in the email field
Also why the fuck does your moid lurk lc
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I guess I have no one to go to, as nobody irl knows about my online "situationship" and neither do my online friends, because I always thought it is embarrassing to talk about.
Well, he cheated on me. To be more specific - for 7 months out of our 2y situationship. I'm considering "taking him back" and pretending like he won back my trust and sleeping with someone/lying about it, so I "get him back". I also am considering calling his future employers and fucking him over.
For context: we were never in a relationship, because I've always found online relationships to be cringe. To me he truly felt like a soulmate and even though our lives didn't match up and we couldn't make it work, he was someone I truly appreciated and wanted in my life.
Anyway, if anyone has good ways to fuck him over, I am listening. And yeah, I am a dumb stupid loser who should've known better - I agree.
>>302826>dating a male who uses discord>Granted, my bf did say locker room bro joke and talk with my brother about dumb shit like "fish pussy">so he is a good obedient bf.
you sound really young so i'm not going to be as blunt as i intended originally, but here: your boyfriend sounds like an immature retard - why would you want to be with a man that talks about women in a negative way even if you're not there? your brother also sounds like a huge retard in thinking he even has any say in this situation. they both sound like skull-emoji discord degenerates and you should ideally just not be with this weird little scrote, focus on yourself and please never date a male from discord ever again. the ones that aren't pedophiles or trannies are just overall sickly misogynist freaks.
>Though I do wonder if he's just using me for free pussy access.
if you even have to wonder about this then your relationship is probably not as stable and happy as you think.
He loves me and we share the same values and have the same goals for the future. He'll let me be a housewife and treats me nicely. Like he'll drive all the way from his school 6h away to visit me over the weekend. And he gets me nice flowers and cute gifts all the time. He's my first serious boyfriend and my standards are skewed. My first boyfriend was an asshole who raped me and hided me away from family and friends, even ONLINE friends. He'd always sneak about to have sex with me. By comparison my current bf is amazing. >>302830
I use discord too btw. I used to do twitch streams and get donations from creepy men by showing my cleavage or thighs in thigh high socks too so I am a little degenerate too I guess. I don't regret my online presence because I got a lot of money and free objects from them. I don't stream anymore because I am REALLY serious with my current bf.
My current bf is okay with my past - some other men would view me as a red flag and not date me. I also have bpd so my current bf is helping me get therapy and the help i need. He's so loving and very supportive. My ex would always say I was hot but crazy so I think that's why I stuck with me so long. Then I got onto anti-depressants and ballooned. I hate myself so much because I let myself get fat and I'm no longer attractive or hot but it doesn't matter. I felt worse when my ex dumped me because of my weight gain.
My current bf love me for me and loves me for who I am no matter what weight or size I'm at. I'm still really big now and he isn't a feeder or anything because he goes to the gym with me and helps me pick out healthy foods. I used to eat instant ramen everday before I met him but now I eat healthier because of him and actually eat a vegetable lol.
Also sorry I got off into a tangent, I just wanted to provide more context and defend my bf a little>why would you want to be with a man that talks about women in a negative way even if you're not there?
I thought all men say gross things about women when they are by themselves and no women are around, hence the word "lockerroom talk". Also yeah I am very young, I'm only 20. Do you think relationships under 25 don't last? I only date with the intention of marriage.
Also about my brother, I don' know what I'm gonna do. He keeps saying once he's done university (he is in his last year), he'll just neet it up at my moms house. How is my bf ever gonna visit or stay the night if he's home 24/7? >if you even have to wonder about this then your relationship is probably not as stable and happy as you think.
I always think about this when dating men because thats what drives men in life - pussy acces. Sorry I've been listening to too much FDS and everything I've heard from them is a greenflag for my current bf because he pays for my dates most of the time and other green flags too like introduces me to his family, sets boundaries, helps me out, is supportive, is a high value man as in he is unlike my brother who has plans to be a neet. though he does play vidya and that is low value male hobby. But it's a shared hobby with me so ya. It's not a redflag to me at all
NTAYRT but i'm reading this trainwreck and just want to say you've got your whole life ahead of you to find a romantic partner. this sounds like honeymoon phase shit that will fizzle as soon as he gets what he wants out of you, and then he'll morph back into a toxic
scrote. please take it slow and remind yourself that you're a valuable person, and the moment this dude does anything to devalue you, drop him back off at his idiot tadpole pond and enjoy your life.
This is mixing true stuff and internet BS, in my opinion. So, it's great how supportive your boyfriend sounds, that's a good sign. Unless he has a fat fetish (you could probably tell because it's generally based on disgust - i.e. sex would be super-awkward) or is "settling" it's also unlikely he's just a coomer based on the weight thing.
The gross things about women could be red flag though. It really depends on context, some guys (especially immature ones) do humor their "bros" that way and I've also known a very sweet guy who does superficially sexist bro-douche humor but the butt of the joke is the character he's playing then. So anyway, it sounds like this guy is probably immature, hardly weird or a deal-breaker if he's around the same age as you. If he seems to genuinely mean the locker-room talk, much bigger issue.
Overall I'll say this sounds like a good dynamic and don't let bitter people on here get you down about it, but also please for the love of god stop listening to FDS. Their "value" assignments are weird and, I say this as someone with autism myself, some super-autistic attempt at trying to reconstruct an '80s high school social hierarchy lol. Like people who are good to you, who cares what their place on the totem pole is?
14 months old relationship ended with a fat 30+yo moids while I'm barely 20 last week. from being called "honey" to "kid" hurt a lot.
what's the most embarrassing part? that he's dumped me because i began to look like his ex wife (he'd sometimes just call her "wife") who's allegedly hit and humiliated him because I'd make jokes about him leaving me hanging for 30+ mins while he said "give me a sec"?
that he kept telling me that he could see a future with me while getting so defensive about meeting up EVEN AFTER A YEAR of e-dating?
the fact that he'd get very upset if i dared to vent about relationship to friends that weren't his friends too?
the fact he's compared me to his allegedly abusive ex wife so many times yet still wants to be my friend?
the fact he uses my friend to try and guilt trip me into talking to him again or how he's sent me a mail after i blocked him everywhere telling me that although I've hurt him that his offer of friendship "still stands"?
the fact he was tweeting like a bitter incel even when we were dating?
the fact that i received his gift for valentine's day (he's dumped me a week before but ordered it 2 weeks ago) and it was just some cheap anime blanket while i actually did some work to save up and get him something handmade?
the fact he concealed that he lives with his parents and is jobless by calling them "roommates" and saying he does "freelance" work?
the fact he claimed he still paid his rent but could afford complaining about every client he was dealing with?
the fact he was glorifying the 60's housewife x blue collar husband meme, claimed he could commit again because he's done it before…or also posting about young families yet wasting my time?
this is a year of my youth i aint getting back. and when i said he wasted my time he immediately compared me to his ex. while telling me he didn't want to compare me to his ex yet he always DID.
or also, the last straw that was the first one. the first pics of him I've seen were nearly a decade old. and when i tried to tell him i felt catfished he began to feel bad and guilty yet too much of a coward to let me go and put the decision in my hands because this is what "adults do"?
i was a fool to fucking say i wanted to stay and believe it when he's said he was going to put on the effort to lose weight, do team sports again and would say "oh it's free sugar soda so it doesn't make me fat" or "I've been fatter before" while i was busting my ass at the pool to lose 20kg and become fit again. and even if he is ugly i hoped he'd put in the effort because I'm out of league but no!
i thought that i learned the lesson dating ugly scrotes irl, they take absolutely everything for granted.
fuck him i got engineering and maths to do, i sacrificed so many tears and evenings of studying for an ugly fat scrote who's hit the wall yet still acted as entitled as if he were at his prime.
if you're mature for your age, he's immature for his. your friends arent the problem, he is. if he doesn't want to close the gap, gets defensive when you get him physical gifts and is "avoidant" in love, run away.
but i know many of you are still hoping that your balding scrote will change or meet you up. or you're just okay with it because you have mental health issues and him handling that (even if barely) is enough to fall in love for you.
anyway fuck this "ex" who wanted the casualty of a situationship and the loyalty of a relationship while never calling me his gf. he just wanted to lock me out from other opportunities and no amount of "you could always break up if you feel like you want to meet other people" was healthy because I KNEW that if i were to tell him that he'd feel betrayed and i didn't want to look like all those "monkey branching" women scrotes love to hate.
while i was glowing up so i could be at my best when I'll meet him, he was slobbing away and letting himself go even further.
You are irradiating the ugliest jealousy vibes, anon. To be honest.>>320219
If he's a keeper i don't think he'd be bothered over being asked some proof he's serious about you. You could try telling him that, that you want to feel he's serious and you want him to show it to you.
What rubes me in the wrong way is the fact he wants to marry without ever having met irl. That's dangerous anon, he sounds desperate. Have you seen pictures of him, even? I'd arrange an irl meeting before buying rings or anything like that, you don't want to be stuck in a situation ship with a man you then find yourself in awkward situations irl. Ffs be wise, anon.
There's like 2 or 3, if it's the UK one yes he's definitely a huge problem here. First of he's a moid who lurks and posts on lolcow, typically shutting down women who are about to reveal his personal information by pretending to be a farmer laughing them off. But I do remember in the lolcow thread on crystal cafe an anon posted about a moid who groomed her starting at 13 and was manipulative, abusive
, etc. He then would encourage her to use lolcow often underage and would actually check in with her to see if she posted on lolcow, and then would make posts targeting her race/insecurities and then the posts seem to magically stop when moid complained about being banned. Another anon tried to shut her down by claiming "everyone was laughing at her" as if most farmers don't actively recognize and are against moids grooming girls from when they are actual pre teens
Do you know how he looks like? If yes, then what's the big deal about meeting up? First of all, you shouldn't consider an ldr and actual relationship until you meet up in real life for the first time. Saying this as someone that was in an ldr and eventually closed the gap after a long time of dating. Focus on that first, if it goes well then start including him in your future plans and fantasies.
The best way he can prove to you he actually wants to be with you is to actually go out of his way to meet up with you, I'm sure the plane ticket will cost similar to a decent ring and you'll both get a lot more from the experience than spending money on jewelry.
you can go to the local homeless camp and find you a man that treats you better than that, and probably smells better too.
block him and move on. he doesn't care about you he is using you for entertainment on his terms. and, if youre an idiot who sent any exposed photos of yourself to him, rest assured he is sharing it with buddies in a server
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I'm really pouring my heart out here nonnies, let me tell the never ending pathetic tragedy of my life and seek out advice
>2018, be me, 16, terminally online since forever due to controlling religious parents
>can't go to parties, can't be out after 6, can't be out for more than 3 hours, yadda yadda
>natural consequence : become an edater
>edate some coomer for a year (kinda got groomed but whatever), dump him, feel depressed and grossed out, fall into vidya addiction,cynical, faith in relationships and men : literally destroyed
>ffw a year later
>meet a girl online : she's shy, terminally online, not very talkative, autistic, anorexic and not sexual at all
>feel like I really relate to her, try my best to help her become more social, it helps my depression for some reason
>develop an odd friendship, one sided since I'm the one carrying the conversation but w/e because she tells me how much she appreciates me and that she wants to become a good friend
>literally tear up because no one's ever been this sweet to me, furthermore someone not sexually interested (lol)
>some online drama happens, find out it's a dude
>he assures he only lied about gender so I wouldn't fetishize him, feel like it's a good point and makes sense according to his ascetic personality
>becomes less and less sweet over the months, claims it's because he is no longer learning anything from me (ok..?)
>I'm a lonely retard that misses my sweet friend and can't take the ego damage so I don't let go
>he never becomes as sweet again, now all he can do is whine that he's a loser and about his family, try to support him, get him to sign up to finally graduate highschool so he can get to uni
>he wants us to call on the phone, we do regularly
>the calls gradually get hornier, give in but disappointed he's not actually asexual
>start talking about living together and maybe becoming an actual couple, it's actually plannable within a 2 years horizon
>hesitant due to the lazy, unempathetic and mythomaniac traits he displayed but sort of roll with it to see what happens, maybe he'll change (lol)
>literally nothing in common besides horny calling in spite of my efforts to share interests
>he claims I'm useless to him until we move in together and that I need to get accustomed to being his whore until then
>stalk him, discover his hentai addiction and that he's been a terminal coomer since forever
>basically all the appeals of this friendship evaporated
>I'm so disappointed and sad, feel literally nauseous, really reminds me of my last coomer bf
>men really are incapable of seeing women as something else than a sex object
>I can't even go like "teehee the best way to forger a guy is to replace him" because I'm still terminally online due to parents
>I don't even believe it'd be better once I move out because I see that pattern repeat in my friend's irl relationships too (although it is less bad undeniably, it's still bad)
I feel like I've been taught by disney and whatnot that I just need to find my soulmate, I sort of felt like I found it throught this girl (lmao at me)
I just need to grief of relationships and accept my life as it is probably
If anyone had soemthing to tell to me to help me feel better I'd be endlessly grateful
should I just get a "better" online boyfriend until I move out?
Try to find platonic online girl friends instead?
I'll probably have to lead an online life for at least 2 more years until I move out from my parent's
I just need someone to share everything with I guess, I cant stand being totally alone without anybody to bond with
What do nonnies think?
Anon he's what you do: If you haven't already, you cut of all contact and block him everywhere. You also stop e-dating because e-relationships aren't real, add no actual value to your live and even if they were and did, you're not in a place where you can tell good online connections from bad ones and shield yourself from being taken advantage of and being mentally drained. Focus on your studies or whatever you're doing right now, dating can wait until you move out.
I don't know how much freedom your parents allow but I'd try to build irl friendships within the limits of your parents rules. People at school/uni? Maybe your parents allow you to have a part-time job or volunteer somewhere? Your parents are religious, maybe you can befriend someone through church or church-affiliated community/clubs? Hell sign up for a weekly bible reading club if you have to (or whatever religion your parents adhere to). Leading an online life is clearly unhealthy for you so you need to limit that as much as possible and look at the options you have irl.
I know it's very hard to not be terminally online in 2023, even if you don't have controlling parents like you do, but being terminally online IS a choice. You feel like because your parents don't allow you much irl you have no choice to be terminally online but that isn't true. There's lots of indoor activities/hobbies you can practice that aren't online/screen related. So next time you feel the urge to talk to strangers online, turn your devices off and read a book, write in a journal, go for a walk around the neigbbourhood, help your parents around the house, reorganize your room, ANYTHING that doesn't plaster you to a screen.
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Although your advice is objectively good, I couldn't realistically follow it. I'll want to socialize eventually. I already sort of socialize anyways, at school and whatnot, but I crave something "more".
Maybe it's urealistic but I want someone to talk day after day, someone I can tell stuff when I get home after an interesting day I guess.. It can't be my mom or family because she doesn't care about that shit. When I think about it, I don't see why would anybody care about my day but yknow. I just thought that was boyfriends were for, forming that close bond. Experience proved me wrong.. Maybe I just need to be an adult and realize nobody really cares about my life as a whole but me.>>325356
I've been trying for a long time to make a close female friend and I can't seem to make it. I dunno what it is. I assume it's because I'm not fun enough since I can't go out.
If I could meet a girl at school that could relate to me and who's into video games and hanging out every now and then, I bet I could even invite her for sleepovers and all. But I can't seem to find a girl like that. Still looking though, actively In fact just came back from some tame school event where I chatted with a nice girl but she didn't even ask for a contact. It's always like this. Even when I'm the one who asks for a contact and I manage to get it it usually falls flat. Idk what I'll do.
My prediction : be alone for a while until my now ex online bf hits me up again and hurt myself a little more with that, until I can move on to another moid. I can't pretend that's not what's going to happen. I might be a hopeless case, thanks for trying to help anyway nonnas.
Nta but because of everything >>328674
said and he'll have fucked up beliefs in general.
I don't think so no. Life gets in the way and it's not always possible to organize a first meetup that easily but it's important to keep it consistent afterwards and work towards closing the gap. This is why ldrs are painful, you have to commit. >>329663
Sure, everyone should keep that in mind until they actually meet. You can never truly know a person until you a) interact with them irl and b) you start living together. Irl couples only have b) to work towards while online relationships have both a) and b).
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My partner of 3 years next week and I had to because of lockdowns in the UK and we've since met up several times (he is here for the week next week in fact) and we clicked even moreso offline than we have during those lockdowns and having to wait! It depends on your situation and most importantly whatever in your gut feels right nonna.
I feel really lucky we got to close our distance and he's stupidly in love with me and I him. Some people are worth waiting for.
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I've been talking to guy for almost three year now since pandemic and have crush on him. Last fall there was a little of moment where we were more sexual in some of our chats but then it died off. He mentioned briefly sort of dating someone irl and being ghosted but I don't think they had sex cause he doesn't seem like kind of guy to hook up.
We haven't been able to meetup due to life circumstance but every so often he'll mention wanting to come visit or go on a trip together, and it seemed like end of this year we would be able to but then he mentioned he was planning a trip with a friend this winter and didn't invite me or anything :\
I don't know why I still have any hope but he's only guy I've talked to in long time and I really like his personality even though I guess it's one sided.( :\ )
Holy shit this is the biggest cope I've ever seen. Men in online relationships literally hide their wives and kids, their real professions, their criminal past, etc all the time. You definitely can't get access to all his online behavior as well, I knew a dude who was in an online relationship once and he spent like 10 hours online, no way you can trace that amount of stuff.>>330042
This tbh. Every man and women have hidden apps and hidden pictures, hidden accounts etc. You can't know someone you've only spoken to online.>>329981
If he wanted, he would. He's dating and hooking up on the side while you're obsessing over him and fantasizing about a future that's not possible.
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>I love you, you're all I have to myself, please never leave me
>teehee send tits whore
Block and delete him, don't waste time with porn addicts that dont see you as a person and instead see you as a never ending fountain of free jerkoff material>>325349
Many such cases. A LOT like a HUUUGE amount of eguys literally have 0 intention of ever getting actually serious. It doesnt matter what theyre saying. They'll tell you every romantic thing you've ever wanted to hear and at the end of the day, it's just to get you to give him nudes and hear you moan. He typically has no intention of ever taking you seriously. and if he does, its because he wants a live-in cum deposit. There are ones that arent entirely like this, but this guy right here? Clearly like that.
I implore my sisters to cut and leave the MOMENT they show themselves to be coomers. I know its hard to tell when because sometimes youre horny too. but if he cant be bothered to ask much about YOU, watch what YOU want, talk about his future with YOU taking YOU places and settling down to build a healthy happy life with you, then it's a waste of time and you're just his digital dick sleeve.
I want to get revenge but I don't know how to
I thought I could probably embarrass him by sending secret info on him to his family but he could do the same
So we actually met irl when I was traveling to his country, but since then the majority of our “relationship” has been online. We have plans to see each other when I return in December. I think we like each other, but our cycle of communication is frustrating, and I’m strongly considering ghosting him — for real this time.
>I text him (not bombing his phone) enthusiastically and with effort
>he ignores me and usually texts backs something stupid and low-effort like a day later
>see he’s online often, sometimes viewing our chat, even when he’s not responding
>I ignore him after getting fed up enough of him ignoring me
>leave the app for a few days, expecting to be ghosted
>come back to frantic texts of him promising to start calling more, being more engaging, and actually putting effort into his messages
>fall for it every time, he stops putting in effort and the cycle continues
I don’t see anything super serious with him and really just enjoy being pen pals and hanging out with him when I’m in town. But it all feels half-in and half-out. Can’t tell if he barely gives an F about me, because his behavior most of the time makes me assume so, but why won’t he just let it fizzle out then? Other people have told me that he just likes to be chased or that he’s just dry and boring af/not a texter. I would like lolcow’s opinion on wtf is going on.
Singapore, so I'd be able to speak to locals. But he's probably right because I'm bad at making friends in general.>>342494
Wouldn't that same logic also apply to me?
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It’s his birthday today, god I miss him so much. It would’ve never worked out but I still miss him so, so much. I’ve never gotten along with anyone that much in my life before; we just clicked, instantly. I bet he doesn’t even remember me. I’d do anything for us just to be friends again, but it’s never going to happen. We haven’t spoken at all since I left him on read on my birthday a year ago. I just miss him more as the time goes on, I know I need to forget about him but I just can’t do it. I truly miss him. He probably has an actual gf and whatever now anyway. Ugh, I miss you him so so much. I have never felt that giddy about someone in my life before. But it’s dead. I need to act like he is dead, and I try to pretend he is, but I still love him so fucking much. Kill me. And this is from someone who, just before I met him, said online shit was stupid. Sigh
Yep. Most of them are assholes/abusive
/cheaters. There's a reason women see them as redflags irl