/g/ - girl talk

Tsubasa Masuwaka (39), obv filtered & fillered to hell n back, pivoted into beauty care. Some pics on her IG are uncanny valley tier but happy to see she's still active

https://www.instagram.com/tsubasamasuwaka1013/?hl=en

>Adapting styles & beauty to suit your adult phase in life
I've not felt the need to do this, but maybe it's because I've never really been into the more child-like j-fashions. I like mori-kei and lolita, with the lolita I wear being largely influenced by my love for mori-kei (mostly classic and some "country" sweet, though I do dabble in gothic from time to time), so it already tends to have a more mature look to it imo. There are some elements that are perhaps more juvenile, some of the forest animals on the prints might read as more suitable for younger people, but ultimately I don't care all that much. It's my clothes.
> full time job, serious dating, kids, aging family, ect.
I wear these clothes to work; it's an office job and I'm not really public-facing. I'm already quite settled in a long-term relationship, have no interest in having kids. I think my parents have a bit of disappointment that I still spend money on overpriced, frivolous things (dresses) instead of making the move from renting to owning a house, and honestly they do have a point there, but I've also made pretty decent gains in my savings despite occasional purchases.
>Making friends in the culture that are over 30
I think this is the hardest aspect, in that many of the other 30+ lolitas ARE busy with child commitments. I'll sometimes want to organize a comm meetup on a weekday after work hours, especially if there is an event happening that I think could be fun, but their children have youth sports or other extracurricular activities to attend, which is understandable. For the few other lolitas without children, many of them show no interest in after work meetups, either due to exhaustion from work or commitments to other hobbies. None of my weeknight suggestions have ever been successful, so at this point, I've stopped suggesting these events as possible meetups and just go on my own in lolita. Additionally, a lot of the other over 30 lolitas have different interests than me. I know for our age group, getting into lolita through anime and vkei was very common: that's how I got into it myself, but I stopped being interested in those things well over a decade ago, picking up other interests along the way that aren't remotely shared by my comm members, so part of the issue is that I just can't relate to other lolitas my age as far as interests go. We don't seem to have anything in common besides wearing the same fashion.

>>572532
>>572672
>part of the issue is that I just can't relate to other lolitas my age as far as interests go. We don't seem to have anything in common besides wearing the same fashion.

outside of the everyone having kids thing, this is the shittiest non-physical part about getting older

imo its really a recent generational thing too because we have so many niches to choose from, and a division of the monoculture due to technology. like we can't bond with each other the way folks in their 70s can back where there was a limited number of things in the culture to be part of.

you'd think that with all the wisdom, self awareness & confidence one acquires by now + the abundance of social media platforms itd be easier to find more folks like yourself but for some reason it feels impossible???

Can't have this thread without at least mentioning Misako Aoki! She is currently 42 years and has been a Lolita and JFashion model since decades. She is also childfree and I believe has no partner. I remember her saying in a interview that she ist too busy being a nurse and model to have time for a relationship or family.

I bought a lolita dress for the first time in nearly fifteen years. I don't wear it much (or at all) but I fell in love with the gothic print. I was kind of surprised it was new AP honestly but I think it's so cute/witchy.

I have no occasion to wear it but I genuinely felt that old rush of finding the dress and obsessing over how to coordinate it. I don't know if I'll feel brave enough to wear it out when it finally comes but at the very least it's apart of my collection.

>>572869
The print is super cute nonna congrats!! Sometimes it's a dress or a specific item that can start it all ♥

>>572672
>>572716
I have a group of 30+ Lolita friends, and it's true we don't have much in common outside of the clothes, but everyone has such different lifestyles and hobbies it's still interesting to hear what everyone is up to. And we'll still wax nostalgically about old anime, bands, and the convention scene so it's definitely more relatable than talking to normies or even other autists who don't wear the fashion.

Most of my local comm is on the older side but occasionally a younger member will come to a meet and it's always a bit awkward. It's like we all have a collective realization that none of us know what the kid is talking about but we're all too polite to say it.

Anyone find you have less of a tolerance for wearing certain things as you get older?
Even waistbands on petticoats bother me now and just looking at a pair of heels makes my feet ache. I still wear them but I can't wear them for long stretches of time anymore like I used to.

I get so tired of seeing posts on reddit and other community type pages being like "I'm turning 18, and I too old to wear X?" It's borderline offensive to be reading that shit at the age of 30+ kek. Maybe if you look haggard at age 18 sure, but brainrotted idiots have bought the moid retardation that somehow women look drastically different from age 20-30. I look the same. maybe the shape of my face has changed slightly, but if I compare pics of me now from 10 years ago I can't find any difference. I don't have wrinkles, gray hair or have gotten fat. I look elegant and stylish in my himekaji coords and I'm never getting rid of my $10,000+ closet just because retards think some arbitrary number defines what I can/can't wear. It took me years of practice to get good at styling myself so why would I quit now when I'm just starting to get good at it?

>>573369
It’s honestly so sad that this is still an issue. I am seeing more older people though post about wearing the fashions they still love well into their 30s and 40s. I’m hoping that changes the shitty mindset some of these people have that you can’t wear anything fun past 30.

>>573383
I don’t even know how people can afford j-fashion before having a career, unless they’re all wearing cheap Taobao or trust fund babies.

>>572532
>>572867
THE Misako! she's still got it

>>573369
exactly. pity them nonna, they grew up in the meitu/facetune/filter age with 7 y.o tiktok influencers doing skincare routines which must result in some form of BDD brain damage.

plenty of modern women in their 30s look the same as their 20s, just less babyish. the inevitable trauma of life starts to show ngl but the fact its marketed to us as "walled" is a psyop all because our frontal lobe developed and we're less likely to be taken advantage of or manipulated.

pic is Fanny Rosie, 36. super cute OG otome kei classical lolita blogger. she's so stunning

https://www.instagram.com/fannyrosie/

>>573369
It's so strange because when I was a teenager I liked this kind of fashion but never would've worn it because I thought I was supposed to look more grown up and mature kek Turning 20 I started to wear jfashion and it was also the first time I could afford it. Age is a very strange thing.

>>573677
i think the reality is most people become busy in their 30s and succumb to life's stressors. stressful job, marriage, having children, gaining weight and not being as active. they take less care of themselves.

most people aren't as beautiful as fanny rosie in the first place lol.

Late 30s Dandy kei. I wore ouji in highschool and after, but transitioned into a more cohesive, subtle look. I haven't owned brand, instead opting to make or modify thrifted items paired with relevant basics and accessories. If I like a brand item, I might seek out a similar base to edit to my tastes. Its a fine line between looking Ouji/Dandy and looking like a waiter I'll tell you that.

>Mature style icons in J-fashion
Enjoying this thread. I enjoy watching Lolita fashion shows and watching some youtubers who live elegantly. She isn't Lolita, but I love https://youtube.com/@anzukitty
>Translating sub styles for everyday/casual wear
For work formal events, some outings and work "costume" events. I work in an office and can wear what I want for the most part but opt for comfort. Dressing well, in good silhouettes with an interesting or ornate accessory can accomplish this look if done right.
>Motivation & inspiration on keeping your hobbies
My main relevant hobbies are drawing and jewelry making. I love jewelry and gaudy, sparkling items. Trying to keep up with hobbies as an adult is difficult. My main advice is make time for it.. Easier said than done. Watching old VK videos with my wife, looking at GLB or reading old forum posts are nice walks down memory lane. I still like anime but nothing new, and I enjoy video games. It's a bit lonely but I won't buy that I'm old, because I'm not.
>Vent about aging in world catered to being forever 21
The topic of age and oldness is this regard is depressing. Old is 70, 80, 90 and even then, does it matter?.. Health and enjoyment of life matter. More relevantly, I wish every and anything wasn't called Lolita, and I wish that the kids acted a bit more hinged. I see less genuine interest from some and a lot of attention seeking. This has always been the case, but it flourishes today, especially with each access to poorly made clothes. As an aside, I always thought that while dressing it was almost like putting on another part of your persona. Classy, darker, cuter, aristocratic, whatever that might be. So, seeing people act up whether in brand or just faux style is disappointing. I feel like the magical "world" of Lolita and its adjacent styles are trying to be diluted because the rules of that works are being ignored. And thus the magic dampened. That said, I feel that the community has done a decent job gate keeping that out. The magic is what we make it, then.

>>583001
>I always thought that while dressing it was almost like putting on another part of your persona.
I miss this aspect of the fashion a lot, and while it is still here among us older women who've been in it a while, the younger cohort lacks it entirely. I remember on lj and tumblr we'd share tidbits of info we had encountered in etiquette books, and even the GLB would often publish such information (picrel is GLB 41, but I know such info is in other volumes as well). There was a lot of focus on how one behaved while wearing lolita and making sure that the behavior was appropriate for such beautiful clothes. I suspect a lot of that ties into how "lifestyle lolita" used to be a thing. Nowadays, people are more embracing of juxtapositions, such as those "how I dress vs how I act" memes, and I think this also extends to the whole "I may be wearing a super frilly dress but I'm actually a man" mindset. There's more a focus on subverting expectations.

Fashionable family

>>573383
I've seen people in their 30s call themselves grandmas because majority of the local comm members are in their early 20s. And like >>573508 said, I feel they definitely are trust fund babies, a lot of them complain about stuff that really only mattered when you don't have many responsibilities. I was kinda shocked seeing how the median age over the years has shifted to being younger. I remember back then it being mostly people in their 30s-40s, me being in my 30s now, it feels more comfortable for me, financially, to commit to the interest.

>Adopting styles
Honestly not an issue for me. There's tons of styles that are mature in its nature, the elegant side of lolita, mori kei, cpk. Even like pic related, long sleeves and colors that aren't piercing to the eyes are fit for anyone even as a fun coord.

>>583001
Not even a Lolitafag but this girl and her outfit and hair are so charming I always stop to admire her when the picture passes by as the thread gets bumped

>>584027
Calling yourself a grandma to be subservient to younger people is so cringe.

>>572867
>>572547
Are there any unfiltered photos of them floating around?

I told myself mochipan was cringe in order to get over not having any fun in life. Fuck it, I want to embrace my inner autist who wears moth cardigans based on sensory comfort scales

>>584967
it's not Jfashion and it's hideous anon

>>573508
It's not as hard as it seems. As a teen or live at home student you don't really have any expenses but you do have income if you work a part time job. Working just a few school nights and the weekends adds up quick when you can spend it all on your hobbies. Or at least that's how it was when I was a teen, I assume it's not much different for young people now.

I'm not a lolita but an on/off gyaru, and it's sad how for a lot of the time women in their 30's lose interest in j-fashion simply because they feel too self-conscious wearing the clothes, not because they lose their interest in the hobby. They consider themselves "too ugly and old" even though most of them have gained enough experience and eye for coordination to the point they're able to put together much better outfits and makeup than most 20-year olds. And said 20-year olds have absolutely no respect for any of the fashion, it's more akin to cosplay for them.

That said, I haven't encountered a lot of people having kids and being occupied with them but it seems to be a bigger trend in Lolita circles specifically than other j-fashion ones. Lolitas have always seemed to be more financially stable and always date the same guy they've been with since high school, so they're more likely to settle down.

>>573508
>>585092
In my time the only ones who could afford more than a few brand items (i.e. enough to build multiple outfits consisting only of brand) were the well-off kids still getting financial help from their parents as an adult/lived at home for free or the girls who couldn't really afford it but racked up credit card bills to pay for their fashion hobby Or they just got knockoffs and didn't tell anyone. Second hand markets have also been a thing for a good while so it makes brand pieces a bit more affordable.

Has anyone else experienced a situation where the comm seems to suddenly die when most of the members hit 30+? My local comm was so fun for a while when we were all in our late 20s just a few years ago, but then this year especially, it's dead. We went from having meetups at least every other week to having only had maybe 5 all year so far, and of those 5, the older members around my age (like age range 31-34ish) completely stopped attending and now it's almost entirely early-20s-somethings that are showing up. It's the same even within our comm group chat. It was very active and it honestly felt like we were on the cusp of becoming real friends, but suddenly this year, it's switched to being just a few new messages a week, and again, most of those are from the younger newer members. I know some of them had health issues spring up and that's why they've been uninvolved, but surely that can't be the case for everyone? I don't think it's a situation where they feel they've aged out because many of them still post coords on SNS, but it just seems that the comm completely shriveled up and died within the last 9 months or so and now there are zoomer squatters taking up refuge in its husks. I know life gets busy with family commitments and work and all, but I miss just chatting at a cafe on a Saturday.

>>585124
My local comm is still active, but I feel like the culture changed so much that I've almost entirely lost interest in going to meetups.

I joined my comm back in 2007 (when I was 18) and it was great to be part of for over 10 years. Meetups were fun and we had a wide variety of them from casual to extravagant and ott, and people were able to keep conversations pretty light while still being able to make deeper friendships if we had enough in common. At some point though it was like people got this brainrot around gender and disability activism, and everything changed dramatically. People would suddenly start off introducing themselves with their gender identities, sexualities, mental health diagnoses and medications, then go on to complain about their families and society etc not accepting them. It used to be that people would start off talking about their interests, hobbies, jobs, and how they got into j-fashion. I don't even know what to say when I meet someone new and they immediately start going off about their audhd or how their anti-psychotic meds made them gain too much weight to fit into AP. I've been part of too many conversations where very feminine-presenting women talk about going on testosterone and getting top surgery, sometimes doubting if they should get it, and the others try to talk them into it. It's particularly triggering for me because I have a long history of body dysmorphia (but I don't want to disclose that to people I barely know) and I'm being asked to weigh in on these conversations. Although this behavior is mostly driven by younger comm members, the older ones seem happy to play into it. Idk if it gives them progressive brownie points or something. I just feel alienated and tbh kind of betrayed by people I used to be friends with encouraging this new kind of culture. It feels toxic to me and I've lost interest in participating.

Anyway, I'd like to continue wearing EGL because I still love the fashion, but it feels pretty lonely to do it without a comm. I post way less on social media nowadays too. I feel like I need to find a way to rekindle the magic of the fashion.

At this point I have a decent collection of clothes that work together and suit me. Quality gets more important as you get older, paying for nice fabrics, nice trims, and clothes that are cut in a way that doesn't skimp on fabric where it is needed for volume or movement. I do incorporate new trends sometimes, things like silhouette, color combinations, or certain accessories but they really have to feel right for me. Harajuku street snap mix and match style was something I did a lot of when I was younger but now I like my outfits to be a little more cohesive. Unfortunately a lot of my stuff has also come around in the trend cycle and is now super expensive (e.g. Swears) so idk how I will ever replace them and that makes them stressful to wear regularly.

>>584763
On Misakos YouTube channel you can see her more unfiltered. I still think she looks great! About Tsubasa I don’t know much because I don’t really follow her, she looks rather botched these days.

>>585269
Also Risa Nakamura is definitely 30+. I know her mostly from modeling for Angelic Pretty but she does tons of other modeling too however rather photoshopped and botched similar to Tsubasa.

Not j-fashion, but honestly the vibe is right: The late Kalocsa artist Szabó Éva. A good reminder to always dress frilly and fun and enjoy our lives even as we get older.

>>587517
She is like the eastern euro Momoko an absolute icon ♥

I was a COVIDlita in the sense that the stars aligned and I was able to purchase dresses I had been pining for since high school. I didn’t pay out the ass for anything, except for maybe melty cream donut in brown because it was never rereleased in brown and I stalked the mercari listing for months before caving. $420 with shipping and the barrette included is not that bad….
I wish I had held out until the yen dipped in 2022, but oh well. I really love my wardrobe. I still feel giddy looking at it. There are a couple of prints I would love to own, but I want to focus on enjoying what I have. I wish I had invested more in some solids, because my btssb 3 tier and 2006 embroidered meta dress are what I reach for first. But I’m an artistfag and owning older prints feels more like an art collection than stuff I need to wear in public, given that fashion is so rigid and conventional right now. I swear zoomers giving me stank looks awakened some suppressed trauma.
I barely interacted with my local com, I have an extremely limited social battery, but they were very sweet and mostly normal, not completely cringe. The more established ones were on the marriage and baby track, so trying to build something there seemed pointless. I’m alienated enough from people I have known my whole life to try to force something with strangers. The sight of a bunch of frilly bitches all gathered together still warms my heart.

>>587740
melty cream was my Roman Empire, so happy for you and that you got your dream dress.