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No. 546841

In this thread, please write down the earliest red flags you realized you had ignored after the friendship or relationship went to shit. Let's learn from eachother the early signs of future abuse or just a shit person so we can avoid people like that in the future.

No. 546842

I will start:
>telling you not to be late for a mutual meeting with another person, because they don't want to get on that person's bad side, but for some reason they are always late when they meet up with you
I guess she wanted to get on my bad side, huh?

No. 546843

In hindsight I really shouldn't have dated someone from 4chan.

No. 546844

Was against banning porn

No. 546845

An easy one to spot is when you have to walk on eggshells around someone continuously. If somebody is upset or angry over seemingly small things very often, imagine yourself decades down the line after the same repeated behavior. You'll wear yourself down in no time and you will only associate that person with the negative feelings you have when you're with them.

No. 546846

this thread should be on /g/ instead

No. 546847

Says things like
>I don't want you to think X about me
>I don't want you to think I'm like X or Y
The key here is that they are want to control your perception of them and want to remove your autonomy by preventing you from coming to your own conclusion about them based on the way they behave.

Making excuses for something nice they wanted to do for you, but didn't end up doing:
>I wanted to get/do something for you, but…
There's literally no point for anyone to say that unless they want to manipulate you into thinking that they are so thoughtful or generous without doing anything. If someone doesn't get you a gift or didn't do something you didn't ask them to and declares "they wanted to" but the stars just didn't align, that's just trying to paint a fake image of themselves without doing anything. A normal person who wanted to get you flowers but failed, wouldn't mention it and just get them for you the next time you meet.

No. 546848

>So, uh, first off, I know we've been dating for a few months, but I need you to promise you won't judge me. Do you know what BPD is?

No. 546849

People who tell you they don't like XYZ but kiss their ass when they talk to them. Or they say they hate their friends but they still hang out with them anyway. They will lie about you to other people or trick you into thinking you are special.
Also maybe this is a bit out there but people who find loopholes to things like agreements or rules and abuse them. If you tell them not to do XYZ and it's important to you they're gonna try their damnest to skirt around that.

No. 546850

>>546848
Made me kek sorry

No. 546851

>talks badly about other women
>"uhhh…I am usually not like this…You are the first person that this has happened with" in both a positive and a negative way, I'm sorry
>refuses to engage emotionally - even if it is the beginning of the relationship, it's still a red flag
>holds A LOT of grudges from their past - usually means a victim mentality

No. 546852

Can’t maintain friendships with other people. You’ll eventually find out why

No. 546853

>>546852
>"Oh wow, nonny! I'm so happy we get along so well! Honestly it's so hard being friends with other women, I normally only hang out with guys."
>cancels plans made weeks earlier because of "mystery illness"
>Hangs out with a moid instead and posts about it on socials

No. 546854

>porn addicted
>nlog tendencies or "wow no other gurl has ever been with me" types
>parasocial obsessions

No. 546855

Posts obsessively on Instagram. There's someone I know who does it literally every fucking day and I just can't help but wonder what she expects to get out of it. Who actually wants to see mundane pictures of what someone ate for lunch, or those dumbass nose-forehead pictures zoomers love posting for whatever reason.

No. 546856

"Sorry it took me three weeks to respond to you anon, I'm just sooo overwhelmed ugh I suck at communication!!" as they have the mental capacity and time to live post their every thought on social media & engage with every one who comments.

No. 546857

>>546856
This and then claimed to struggle with ADHD or autism or any trendy mental illness

No. 546871

If you don't order something to eat or drink and he doesn't insist or share his with you, or even if you do order something and he doesn't let you try his.

He doesn't walk next to you.

He hides things from you.

He's judgemental.

He isn't calm and collected under stress or when things don't go his way.

He doesn't get your humor or laugh with you.

He doesn't try to better himself even if he's already perfect to you.

He doesn't speak more than one language and never traveled anywhere for an extended period or lived anywhere else.

He doesn't have any hobbies or interests.

He doesn't work or own anything or have any savings, and no plans to either.

He eats junk food.

If all of these apply due to age then he's not a man and not worth dating at all, perhaps you can use him as a practice bf considering you are probably young yourself.

No. 546886

>>546871
All of this. If he is generally a selfish inconsiderate deadbeat than you should cut him off and enjoy your new peace.

>Perhaps you can use him as a practice bf considering you are probably young yourself.
If a moid acts like this he doesn't even deserve that much proximity to you. If you're young explore new places and grow your life, don't waste it on a half assed excuse of a """man"""

No. 546920

>>546871
>never traveled anywhere for an extended period or lived anywhere else.
>He eats junk food
I don't think these are bad, most people eat junk food to some extent unless someone is constantly eating it well that's a dif story; and lack of moving or traveling could be caused by outside factors. Everything else rings true, especially
>He doesn't have any hobbies or interests.
I have no idea how people like this exist and function and they freak me out. What do you mean you don't have hobbies

No. 546951

>>546871
>He doesn't try to better himself even if he's already perfect to you.
>He doesn't speak more than one language and never traveled anywhere for an extended period or lived anywhere else
These aren't red flags at all. And eating junk food is based

No. 546966

If male from a different ethnicity—putting down women of his own race (too feminist, too educated, too "masculine") while elevating yours… often via stereotypes (don't be surprised if it's from porn)

No. 546980

>>546966
it's like when they talk badly about "women nowadays". it's not a compliment at all and is basically an admission that they think you're a little fool who will let them get away with things that the women they're comparing you to won't

No. 547006

My main redflag is them being male

No. 547012

Talks too much about how cool and amazing you are. Yeah sure it's nice to be worshipped or whatever in fiction but it's often a sign of lovebombing. Just wait a month or two and those words will become the most hateful vitriolic shit about you instead

No. 547016

>>547012
And also
>Talks too much about how cool and amazing he is

No. 547018

>tries to push on you many ideas they have about you that describe you as true statements despite not knowing you that well, trying to make you submit to their idea of you without getting to know the real you
This is really weird, it's like the person thinks that if they keep saying you're this or that you will be that? This can be used for positive and negative traits but sucks both ways cuz it feels like the person doesn't give a shit how you really are
>tries to pull you into some weird camraderie by saying self-derogatory things and claiming they see it in you too so you're "kindred spirits"
This is really gross and takes advantage of lonely people who want to feel close to someone but it's corrosive. You can be feeling fine and suddenly someone comes at you saying it's nice to have someone who sucks the same as they do, ugh

No. 547033

Immediately yells or raises his or her voice during arguments

No. 547067

Almost all of these apply to me. (No, I usually don't rope new people in my life.)

No. 547136

Eating like a twelve year old. No one in their twenties should be eating "chicken tendies" every fucking day. Ntm I just can't stand eating the same thing constantly. I get tired of it quickly.

I also won't date anyone who drinks Monster Energy.

No. 547143

If a person constantly complains about things that they could easily change or fix, but they just never do it. Not fixing easy things in general is just a sign that someone doesn't give a fuck and is lazy. If they can't be bothered for something small, they will almost never take any action on bigger issues.

Also, if a man ever reminds you of Mordecai from Regular Show at any point, drop him from your life immediately. Even if he is just a friend. That has to be one of the easiest archetypes of men to diagnose and avoid.

No. 547150

>insisting you tell each other's passwords because "you should have nothing to hide, why don't you trust me?"
>Insisting on you having location tracking activated at all times on your phone
>Telling you to unfriend/unfollow your genuine friends of the opposite/same sex (doesn't apply to instathots and influencers)
>Seeing that they follow a ton of instathots/goonbait content, but saying to you "They're not even real though? If you did the same I wouldn't care"
In other words, they want to have their cake and eat it too. They only say they wouldn't care because they don't want you to care about them doing it, and they probably don't value you as a person if they can't give up their coomshit.
>When asked what kind of things they fantasize about with you, it comes straight out of their favorite OF videos down to the outfit and scenarios.
If they don't bother to fantasize about intimate moments you've had together like a normal person does and need outside stimulation, they're not really attached to you and you are replaceable to them, or worse, they're always fantasizing about these OF thots while using you as a fleshlight pretty much.

No. 547155

>sympathizing with porn addicts/pedophiles as if they can be reasoned with
>being easily influenced by others with no strong convictions of their own
>Being a hardcore rightoid, enlightened centrist, or a tankie
>following Mizkif, Hasan, Ethan, Asmon, or twitchthots in general
>Being a TRA
>Being a slavaboo
>Being a Palestinefag
>Taking news they read online at a surface level and not diversifying their sources
>Defending TikTok or being a Tiktok fag, especially by claiming it's an unbiased source that shows videos that MSM tries to hide, even though it's a fucking algorithm with almost zero verifiable sources that pushes content that it wants you to see, as if websites other than TikTok don't exist
>Lacking critical thinking
>When presented with solid evidence that contradicts their prior held beliefs, doubles down and gets indignant instead of considering that they might be wrong or mistaken
>Caring more about being seen as morally superior rather than being correct in their judgments

No. 547158

>>547143
That episode where he ruined Muscle Man's wedding because he's such a selfish fucking shithead that he had to make it about himself and his shitty failed situationship with C.J

No. 547176

Whether for friendship or a romantic relationship, imo a very spiritual person is annoying and should be avoided. They never shut up about their spirituality bullshit and bother you about it 24/7 and try to analyze you through it and force you into a box based on it. They try to tell you their spirituality woo woo ass shit is the solution to all your problems and you're doing everything wrong because you're not part of their cult or whatever. I think it's hard to avoid them sperging out about it even if you set boundaries from the start because it's such an ingrained part of a spiritualfag's identity that they can never let go of or not let influence everything. They're exactly like religious people and as annoying at times. Also, avoid religious people at all costs, but this one is self-explantory I hope.

No. 547318

>You're really going to wear that?

No. 547351

Having a penis is pretty much the only red flag you need to look out for.

No. 547395

>someone who's apolitical and doesn't vote
Apolitical moids are some of the worst. They're a different kind of infuriating than someone with a team sports mentality when it comes to politics. I don't mean that they have to talk about it all the time or let it dominate their lives 24/7, but it's something that affects all of our lives and especially our loved ones whether we participate or not. If you don't make the choice to vote, someone else will for you. Especially now in American politics, we don't have the luxury to bury our heads in the sand with all the crazy and outright corrupt bullshit going on. The whole "both sides are exactly the same so it doesn't matter!!" "so many others are voting, why do I need to participate?" is a big part of how we ended up like this.

No. 547415

>gets weirdly and very excited from having interactions with you, even though it had no sexual undertones and was an innocent activity
It's gross, the person has the hots for you and doesn't know how to self regulate, sign of low self awareness, probably will never make a move on you but thinks they are hiding it well, just makes everyone involved uncomfortable and this will escalate into other issues in the future.

>>547351
Stop shitting up the thread with obvious stuff that has already been posted a few times, it's not helpful. This thread is about red flags which are related to specific behaviors to look out for, being male is not a behavior and it's not specific enough to be used as a red flag. It is also very obvious that someone is male so it cannot be overlooked when moving forward building a relationshit. You can take out your anger on males in many other places on this board and everyone here is already aware of this viewpoint anyway so you're not saying anything new.

No. 547436

>>547415
You can nitpick and minimod whatever red flags you want but at the end of the day, if you're dating a moid you are doomed lol.

No. 547454

>>547436
I'm not minimodding, it's just off topic

No. 547862

> reddit user
> gamer
> lives off uber eats
> no licence or car
> obsessed with politics
> "one day when I'm rich"
> doesnt wash hair
> porn addict

No. 548008

>>547351
WRONG. Post-op trannies also date women.

No. 548009

>>548008
how do women handle the tranny stench?

No. 548015

>>547415
>>547454
let anons shitpost once in a while lol

No. 548018

> talking about women who wear lots of makeup, dress up etc “oh anon but I love how natural you are!” (Gag)
> having a bad relationship with their mother, deadbeat dad that they worship for some reason
> talks shit about their sister in a way you sense there’s more than normal sibling resentment.
> only suggests sexual stuff that they ant to do, stops showing interest when you’re in the mood and avoids you, makes you feel bad for having a normal libido
> calls you narcissistic, crazy, vain etc for doing something you enjoy
> randomly criticizes people around you (“oh Anon her dress is way too tight, ew”)
> speaks about themselves like they’re super fragile, apologizes constantly, “I guess I’m just too sensitive”, overemphasis on their hyper empathy
> says disgusting and shocking things and looks at you as if to read your reaction


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