/g/ - girl talk

I was thinking the other day about what we discussed in the last thread, about modern Lolitas trying to squeeze in some deeper political meaning into the fashion. I was wondering if it comes from a place being ashamed of indulging into something so frivolous as Lolita fashion. Maybe it's a cope for all the money and time that is invested.
>When I buy this JSK I'm rebelling against men and against objectifying the female body!!
It all has a meaning so it's not just a girl buying a cute dress!!1

I hate that scalper bitch Chanyeolexo from the bottom of my heart.

>love the valee lys atepie collab dresses
>at my lowest weight my bust size was 95 cm and wouldn't decrease further
I get it, not everything will be made for me, but of all the things not to do in L size when atepie does all their ugliest things in L size instead.

>>586032
Also I'm mad pissed I missed the last Profusion of Flowers JSK on Meta's site. I wanted both it and Phantom Wolf but thought Phantom Wolf would sell first and bought only it intending to pick up Profusion next month and the damn thing was gone by then.

>>586021
People have different personal motivations for engaging in any given activity. Get over it and stop beating the dead horse

i’m a newfag (sorry) and i was wondering what in yalls opinion the lolita basics should be? like some things every lolita enthusiast should have in her wardrobe.

>>586034
Okey sorry?
>>586033
Damn I’m sorry nona. Recently I missed out on so many things too because I told myself to sleep over it and bam it’s all gone the next day.

>>586034
Untwist your fucking bloomers. Only redditbased retards are dumb enough to believe that lolita was created to rebell against the patriarchy.

>>586021
I believe that mindset is more prevalent among heavy social media users, partly because social media puts a huge emphasis on moral superiority and adhering to approved actions lest one becomes "canceled." It's a bit preposterous to advocate for "eating the rich" on instagram and twitter when one is routinely spending upwards of $50 to even $300+ on dresses, but if it is done in the name of activism, then of course it becomes perceived as a morally acceptable expenditure and not frivolity. I find those who are not so connected do not care as much about their buying habits being viewed as progressive or not.

>>586040
I'm assuming you mean aside from basics such as a main piece or a petticoat? There will likely be variations depending on substyle, but I find a suitable bag quite necessary.

>>586051
Are lolita brand bags any good? I've heard mixed things about their quality.

>>586064
Imo it depends if you live in a humid climate. Pleather flakes and peels super easily in humid climates. If you live in a colder, drier place your bag's less likely to crack or peel.
Brand bags are pretty expensive for what they are, though, and there's plenty of alternatives these days if you just want a simple cute bag.
>>586041
Thanks, nona. I'm sorry another anon is suffering in the same way I am. What's worse is I was in Japan this autumn and saw it on the rack but didn't have time to try it on and was unsure how those wa dresses would look on me. Phantom Wolf came in and looked great so I was extra retarded not to get it then.
Anyways you anons see one for sale please think of me and reply to this post or something

>>586040
a decent petticoat; a good quality cotton blouse; a neutral color pair of comfortable, versatile shoes (ie, mary janes); a comfortable, solid colored JSK or skirt that goes well with anything (if you strongly dislike solids, a print with a generic motif such as florals will work fine. you just want something that's very easy to coordinate in a variety of ways); a decent pair of lace topped OTK or crew socks in a neutral shade; at least one generic KC or headdress; and a bag of some sort.

you can always expand your collection of items into a variety of colors, patterns, and prints as you go, but as a newbie, this set of bare bones basic items will get you started and will be easy to incorporate new items into. your coords will probably be a little boring at first, but it's good for getting a grasp of the fundamentals before diving into more creative outfits. a lot of newbies start off with extravagant pieces, prints with unusual motifs, and complex color schemes and then get stuck with an incohesive wardrobe that's difficult to wear in the long run. don't be afraid to go simple, and give yourself some time to figure out what styles, motifs, and colours you really like in practice. think about how you'll wear something before you buy it. there's a lot of items that are cute in theory, but end up wardrobe bloat in the long run.

>>586040
Some nonnas might disagree, but I still think this F Yeah Lolita blog post on wardrobe building is relevant and helpful: http://www.fyeahlolita.com/2012/05/building-complete-lolita-wardrobe.html?m=1

Not any kind of exact science and could be very autistic of me, but I always try to have twice as many blouses as I do main pieces. I think this helps keep your wardrobe more versatile. So if you buy one JSK, try to find two blouses in different styles that can be coordinated with it. You can really never have too many blouses, socks, or headpieces; even if you wear the same two dresses over and over, changing your legwear and headdress, switching your blouse and maybe adding a cardigan can really help with versatility.

>>586115
>>586096
Nta but thank you for your responses they are soo helpful (I'm also new)

>>586027
her and that fruitjelly person. can't open Oce-based listings without being blasted with a minimum of 50 listings from her regularly

>>586096
>a decent petticoat
Nta where to buy a decent petticoat? If I have skirts and dresses of different length do I need to buy a new petti for each one? Sorry I'm a newfag too

Stop coddling newfags. There are 1 million references out there.

>>586173
id rather they ask about stuff here than get advice from tards on r/lolita. the amount of itas spreading misinfo around nowadays and acting like anyone who follows the rules of the style are elitists is getting ridiculous.

We’re already on our third thread! I’m so glad that the lolita nonas are becoming more active. Im grateful to have a place to discuss lolita fashion without being jumpscared by males.

>>586173
Stop telling us what to do? Let the nonas help them.
>>586176
Me too nona ♥ the community has been infested with genderspecial women and tranny it’s depressing.

Have you ever become disinterested in lolita fashion? Have you ever taken a break from it? If so, for how long? Or is lolita something that you can never see yourself not wearing?

>>586220
I actually left lolita several years back. I mainly just had a style change where I have been getting older/wanted to be more comfortable, but I still do like the fashion and seeing coords and new designs. I could see myself returning to something more casual potentially and I do miss meets and whatnot. When I first left I had a lot of fomo but that slowly disappeared and I’m content now to see friends still wearing it and having fun even as I’ve moved into new hobbies and clothes.

>>586205
>the community has been infested with genderspecial women
I wouldn't feel so safe here if I was you. There are many who lurk there but don't out themselves

>>586220
I've taken breaks on and off. I started wearing lolita as a younger teen, took a long break, came back when I got my first salaried job, took a break after a year because I had a horrible experience with a man cornering me at a gas station while I was wearing my (favorite at the time) JSK, and actually just came back maybe two years ago. I can't see myself ever leaving for good, I've loved this fashion for so long. I'll probably transition to a more EGA inspired style as I get older.

>>586170
MeLikesTea and A&A are famous, but you can get some inexpensive brand ones secondhand from wunderwelt. MAM petticoats are nice.

>>586170
> If I have skirts and dresses of different length do I need to buy a new petti for each one?
Yes, it's a good idea to have them in a variety of lengths and thicknesses. You may have to experiment to see which ones you prefer. Some petticoats have a lot of volume, but that's a bit cumbersome for everyday wear and might be better for a more OTT event like a tea party. Additionally, with high-volume petticoats, you run the risk of overstuffing your skirt, which will throw the silhouette off (you'll know when it happens). Additionally, you don't want one that's too short with longer length skirts and dresses as it may result in "lampshading" where the skirt goes out up until the petticoat ends, and then it drops down straight. Longer length petticoats are needed for these tea-length items. You also don't want one that's too long when paired with a shorter skirt because it looks tacky if your petti is hanging out from under your skirt. It's always good to have a variety of pettis. There are times I'll try on different petticoats when I first get a new dress to decide which one I like better with it. As a newcomer, ofc you don't want to go out and buy 4 different petticoats all at once though, but it's more that you acquire them as you need them, and sometimes you can find them pretty cheaply secondhand. This is probably something you might want to put a bit more research into to find out what type of petticoats would be best for you.

>>586220
I've never become disinterested with the fashion, but I did have a period of about 3 years where I was more interested in mori-kei. It was a time when I was going on hikes a lot, so that likely influenced me, but I still wore lolita then from time to time, it just wasn't my dailywear during that period. If anything, I've more become disillusioned with the idea of comms, while still loving lolita. I think that's all been well discussed in previous threads, so I won't rehash it here.

>>586064
I have a real leather one from moitie that’s really nice and an Usakumya so I wouldn’t say I’ve had any bad experiences with brand bags yet.

>>586064
Like >>586074 said most pleather's durability will be kind of climate dependent. AP's regular pleather is notoriously dogshit though, both for their bags and for their shoes. Any enamelled/shiny pleather last for quite a while though. None of my enamelled pleather items have flaked, including my glitter AP bag which I bought secondhand. I also have a real leather Moitie bag that's lasted quite well and I enjoy the process of maintaining it like I do with my boots. Plush bags don't have those usual problems naturally but I assume you're not really worried about those.

>>586064
maybe it's just my cursed humid climate but every pleather item I've bought inevitably disintegrates, including shoes. I stick to the sturdier enamel-coated bags and leather. jane marple has some cute leather bags that work well for lolita

>>586220
I had a period of a few years where I was super busy and had almost no opportunities to wear lolita. Even on my days off I was so tired I didn't feel like dressing up. Spending less time in the fashion or reading/talking about it online, it slowly became a smaller and smaller part of my life. I was sure that I had moved on and considered selling everything. But now I'm back and more obsessed than ever, hopefully it's something I'll wear for the rest of my life even if I go through stressful phases where it's not my priority.

>>586230
nta but the beauty of anonymity is that I don't have to hear all about someone's super unique gender identity, obesity or mental illnesses. So I don't really care if those types post here

>>586220
Currently on a break due to my financial situation and my job having a uniform so I'm unable to utilize my closet for casual coords. I sometimes wear my pieces to formal events or outings but nowadays thats extremely rare. I'll probably double down on wearing lolita more frequently once I have the time and budget to afford it and even if I step away from wearing OTT coords, I'll probably keep the pieces around to coordinate into other styles like aristo.

>>586175

agreed, i'm the newfag op and ever since i saw that ugly fat scrote on the lolita reddit i avoid that place like the fucking plague

I'm getting fat. It's never happened before, I guess my metabolism is slowing down, it's quite terrifying.

>>586041
I think having the habit to wait before you buy something is quite healthy. It's better to miss a few bloodbaths than becoming an impulse buyer.

>>586220
I've quit for a couple of years between 2015-2019. I was in college then and had no time or money to invest in lolita. I was also going through some family/ relationship drama during the time, I didn't have any energy for hobbies. I came back during the pandemic boom in 2020 and I've been building my wardrobe ever since. This time around my tastes have definitely changed. I went from wearing sweet to wearing classic.

>>586220
I quit once and came back. I quit because I was so obsessed with lolita that it was getting unhealthy. I was burnt out, losing interest and wanted the extra time and money to take up other hobbies. I came back because I missed it but tbh I'm starting to lose interest again. For a while I was having fun but I've been less excited about wearing it these last few months. My comm isn't great so I feel like I have to force myself to go to meets only to not have very much fun. I know I can wear it alone but every time I have the opportunity to wear it I don't gravitate towards it. The current market is too expensive for me to buy anything new too. I still think the clothes are very beautiful and I'm going to keep my favourite pieces but I don't really feel like participating much. I do have friends who aren't in my local comm who still really love it and I am close to them, so I think the fashion will always be in my orbit even if I'm not presently very involved.

>>586272
I had the same realization a little bit ago nonna. I was very thin as a teenager and never had to put any effort into keeping weight off (which I think is normal), and then I started gaining weight in my 20's. I look my best around 135-140 lbs and am weighing in around 153 right now.

I've been eating in a deficit, cutting most sugar and targeting my core/doing more cardio and less heavy weights with more reps, and so far I'm down three pounds consistently! MyFitnessPal has been helpful, I enjoy seeing the little circular graph breakdown and it keeps me on target. You can get back to a weight where you're comfortable and happy with your appearance nonna, I believe in you! The best time to start is now, you'll start feeling better just knowing you're working on it.