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to the girl that i met at the beach when i was 12 years old who talked and swam with me for hours, laughed at my stupid jokes and told me that i was being cute, told me that she wanted to be my "very very good pal" then winked, held my hand, said i was cuter when i told her i found her very pretty, told me that she wanted to point blank kiss me, and made me promise to return back to the same beach because she wanted to see me again the next day but i didn't because i was way way too nervous.. where are you at now queen? no other lesbians have been that blunt to me and this memory still makes me feel like the simulation was glitching to help me realize i'm gay as hell. wtf. :(
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I'm curious, what kind of women are you all into? Any particular features or styles you go for?
Looks-wise, I tend to notice women's stomachs/abs and arms/shoulders, odd as that may sound. A nice pair of abs or some muscle definition in their arms really does something for me. My girlfriend thinks it's a little strange; she's very much into round booty and long legs, kek. I also have a weakness for black hair + tan skintones.
Girlfriend and I are also a bit divided on style preferences…she likes those sharp polished femme girls, but I really go for 90's grunge/skater/punk girls, tattoos, dyed hair, piercings, anyone who looks a bit rebellious. At least my girlfriend and I are united in our love for goth ladies and soft butch tomboys like picrel.>>174121
This gave me feels. Also reminds me of my best friend in high school who was drop-dead gorgeous, and also had black hair and tanned skin, ugh
. This friend decided that I was her "daughter" and she was my "mom" and this meant it was OK for us to be hugging and kissing each other on the cheek and generally being super-affectionate. I figured out I was gay about a year after she got switched to another school and we stopped seeing each other.
I do, although I do live in a violently homophobic country. I also have economic and religious reasons that make me want to leave but homophobia is the main one. The only thing that made me cope with living here was the hope of finding a country where I can finally live instead of be in a constant state of survival. The entire TRA situation in the west kinda crushed that hope though. If that ideology keeps getting more popular there then I'd just leave a country where I'm called a deviant degenerate for one where I'm called a bigot for being a lesbian. What's the difference?
The fact that there's no good place in the world for lesbians has kept me up at night more than once. How do you girls cope with it?
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>>174131>I'm curious, what kind of women are you all into? Any particular features or styles you go for?
I prefer chubby women, as long as she’s healthy enough to like go for walks with me without dying. Big plus if she’s shorter than me too. I don’t really care about abs but strong arms make me melt. I love body hair on women too, I think it’s really cute.
Style-wise butch and GNC women own my heart. Especially if they’re a bit alternative. I love tattoos, especially sleeves. Also I know we’re supposed to find it cringy but I kinda love it when they dress like teenage boys lol. Like sneakers and band tshirts.
Lea DeLaria is pretty close to my ideal. If she dressed like a metalhead she’d be perfect.
>>174139>Also I know we’re supposed to find it cringy but I kinda love it when they dress like teenage boys lol.
Hehe same here.
Lea looks good for a woman in her 60s, she must be a happy lady!
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I get you, and had similar fears (mostly was afraid of some tranny going apeshit on me) but the reality is like the >>174165
said. Transgender ideology mainly exists online and for many of them it is a roleplay/fetish.
I just looked up related stats from Canada, because it is one of the countries I think of at least trying to live in and because everyone paints it as some transgendered hellhole where everyone gets puberty blockers on their 12th birthday. Granted, the survey was from 2018, BUT >First, these results can be compared with the results from the Survey of Safety in Public and Private Spaces (SSPPS) conducted by Statistics Canada in 2018, which also contained questions about sex at birth and gender. According to that survey, 0.24% of the Canadian population was comprised of transgender men, women or non-binary individuals.
Less than 1%. In real world you would be interacting with straight normies that don't know anything about twitter gender wars that are happening every day. They would not be calling you a bigot for not sucking dick. You should look at it from another point and start thinking about normal people, not terminally online retards
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About the same 2018 survey from https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/200909/dq200909a-eng.htm
. You can see non-straights are around 4% of population compared to <1% gender people. So reality isn't as grim as it looks on the web.
Yeah I know, that's why I haven't given up on leaving. It's just that I'm not as optimistic about it as I used to.>>174169>>174168
Thanks for the stats! That does give me some relief. My only exposure to the west and gay communities is online so I have no idea how it is irl. Honestly it's not the straight normies that I'm worried about. If you want to meet women irl (bars, meetups, etc), you'd eventually have to deal with wokies and gender specials wouldn't you? Unless you only try to online date or get really lucky and find a sane woman through other means. At least that's how it seems to me from what I gathered (for example: I hear that GSA assocs at school are mostly gay, trans and some bis nowadays).
How is it in your experience?
From you first post I thought you were worried about the general public calling you bigot, so that is why I found some stats to show that gendies are a really small population
I can't give you an advice rooted in experience because I am the anon that asked the original question about moving.>If you want to meet women irl (bars, meetups, etc), you'd eventually have to deal with wokies and gender specials wouldn't you?
I worry about that too. Also, moving countries doesn't mean I would find a relationship (though chances would be higher) but my thoughts are - if I don't at least try, I will regret it. I know if I stay my chances at a happy romantic life would be lower not only because of being closeted and potentially lonely, but also because of my legal status. I couldn't just sit and try to build life with another woman while I know that legally we are two strangers and have to either jump through hoops or pay enormous taxes in some cases (inheritance, buying property together etc.). You can forget about having any children too.
>I hear that GSA assocs at school are mostly gay, trans and some bis nowadays
From what I've read, GSA is full of straight girls and gendies lol that don't shy away from witch hunting gays. Or maybe I am thinking of another association.
You could look into being an international student for example, and working at your destination country afterwards for couple of years and see how it is.
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I used to be a nonbinary and my gf peaked me. We're both farmers now. Literally living the dream
I'm a tomboy, the kind with sneakers, oversized t-shirts and snapbacks and defined muscle. I'm either into really femme-presenting cute girls that have a mischievous side and can be brutal when in trusted company. My dream gf would be a femme girl with small stature but a foul mouth, a good sense of humor, a relentless manhating terf
who's into smutty sex. Always been a huge weak point for me and I dream about someone like her all the time.
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Great thread pic and I like your prompts in the OP as well, cheers.
>are there any cows you’d uhaul with?
lmfao love this, though i got no cows i'm that fond of. Dasha Nekrasova is cute to me but she is upsettingly retarded.
>bitch about being lonely
I AM LONELYYYYYYYYYYYYY the woman i want seems to reciprocate but it's complicated. i wish i had a magic wand
>butch? femme? how do you feel about labels?
I feel the labels are unnecessary and cultish. I particularly dislike the sorta butch that larps as a fuccboi, though I find them hot in general. Just not into anyone that wants to meme themselves into male socialization. I'll take any fit/slim woman with nice skin and a good brain really, it's not about the butch/femme scale for me.
>how did you know you were gay?
I've always known that I was attracted to women but it took falling in love with one in my mid 20s to realize men aren't included in my sexuality. The way I felt for her romantically was just completely above and beyond any man I thought I loved. I realized I only felt close friendship to men.
>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? which ones don’t fit you at all?
I rant about how gross and useless men are when drunk. Is that a stereotype? It certainly makes the men in the room uncomfortable which is a good thing.
>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?
Pretty girly in style early on, though I began to wear baggy male clothes once my body developed and men started to give me too much attention. Tried to hide it.
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I really love the soft gamine style with some punk elements. Dresses and long skirts sometimes are cute, but I'm not really into heels and long hair. Buzzcuts make women 100% more beautiful and noticeable to me. Someone similar size to me, maybe a little shorterBonus points if she's short with a fiery temper kek
My other type would be someone slightly chubby and taller than me, I think it'd be nice to cuddle.
My style is pretty basic, a lot of turtlenecks, oversized sweaters and pants, and boots almost all year. So basically Daria
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>>174139> I know we’re supposed to find it cringy but I kinda love it when they dress like teenage boys lol. Like sneakers and band tshirts.
Is that cringe? I'm very cringe then, kek.>>174240>gamine
Love it. I really wish there were more tomboys and gamines out there in the media; I know they exist IRL. But scrotes can only fap to femme
lesbians so that's what we've mostly been getting. And I'm worried that a whole lot of young girls see all boyish women as fakebois in denial. Like girls are having a whole gender identity crisis over wanting to cut their hair short and stop wearing makeup or smth.
said it was some kid on TikTok who did. The people smearing it with Nazi shit are probably angry troons themselves. Not an uncommon strategy of theirs
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Maybe he started it but 4chan helps spreading it and they even made the colors of the "flag" that's now used on Reddit
I think most people behind this movement with a working brain understand that 1), being same-sex attracted is not even in the same universe as being a troon, and 2), lesbians aren't forcing anyone to sleep with them or trying to convince people to "unpack their genital preferences", or call people "genital fetishists". People have created the "LGB drop the T" movement for a reason, and i think most straights understand that being gay is a natural state, while being trans-identified is a mentall illness.
People that used to discriminate against the lgb community will continue to do so old-fashioned style, why do they have to have a 'super'-movement to prop up their hatred? Besides, I dont think people who support homosexuals will suddenly 'peak' and stop supporting, we've done literally nothing except for exist.
Which lesbian want straight men to fuck her, lmao?
Because that's the whole point of the superstraight thing. It was caused by trannies insisting that everyone must validate them sexually. No one else in the LGBT does that shit, only the Ts.
>>174527>Normies do not see a difference between a lesbian, gay man or a troon.
Stop acting like sexuality and gender are the same. >the LGBT acceptance rates are dropping, you really think this has nothing to do with you
Yeah it has to do with the people telling others that if they like bio men/women they are "genital fetishists". Or the people getting women's shelters closed down because they don't want to accept men. Or the people giving hormones to kids who aren't even old enough to drive but can apparently make life changing decisions.
Anon don't be obtuse, don't try to waterdown all our issues into the same thing like this is "all lives matter". this superstraight thing has plenty of push from both lesbians and gay men who saw their spaces being coopted.
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I don't understand why we should ignore woke homophobia. My life doesn't revolve around straight people who were never supportive in the first place. I'm not staying in a toxic social alliance and ignoring homophobia just to have woke points.
a strong number amongst gay men that specifically want to sleep with straight men but yeah, largely I agree.
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Monday night, getting drunk and watching Strawberry Panic. Yeah I know its scrote shit but I'm lonely and a weeb. Haven't watched this shit since middle school so kind of excited to see how much my taste has changed.
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That was the first yuri anime I ever saw. I hate the main couple too much to rewatch lol but Amane is still waifu material
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Anons, do you believe in love at first sight? Somehow I instantly knew that my GF was the one— or at least she immediately piqued my interest. I couldn't stop thinking of her and made any excuse to talk with her. Of course, after getting to know her I've come to love her even more, so much that the initial spark can't even compare. But I do believe it was love at first sight.
No, I just think that type of argument is as shallow as the notion popular/mainstream is automatically vapid and inferior to "high art".
It's also naive to think that coomers can't like something that isn't even trying to appeal to them and base your in relation to theirs. The whole point of them being coomers is that they sexualize everything. I'm not going to stop liking something just because they do too.
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This is really sweet and I really wish to experience it . Idk about love at first sight thing though, I more believe in a spark at first conversation>Somehow I instantly knew that my GF was the one— or at least she immediately piqued my interest
But maybe the red thread of fate is real though. This will sound stupid, but I know my soulmate exists. I don't know if I will ever meet her but I know she is somewhere there and I am pretty sure she is aware of me.
I love tomboys/butch/masc/androgynous women so much. Undercuts and alternative fashion are huge pluses but teeters into weirdo territory pretty fast. Someone who's active and will indulge my impulsive need to go on long walks and maybe take a trip out to go hiking or camping. I love women who are taller than me but it's not that hard since I'm short lol.
I like to dress really feminine and "proper" (e.g. long skirts/dresses) and like the contrast of alternative vs traditional fashions. I feel like liking more butch women while being femme plays into traditional gender roles, it doesn't look the best on me as someone who thought she was bi for most of my life but I like what I like (and it definitely is not men).
This seriously sounds like a joke. That sub only makes me depressed because those women call themselves lesbians and in the same breath talk about how their husbands are the love of their lives and soulmates. Ew. While there are several lesbians that have come out, the majority are middle-aged women that spend all their free time on reddit and twitter, so they think liking She-ra makes them lesbian or something>pretty void of girldick uwu troons
True, so I guess it is one of the best spaces for lesbians on reddit. Only you need a lot of patience for all the married women.
Anyways, I love saidit.net Lesbian sub, only it is really slow and has small amount of members. It was created after truelesbians were termed.
I mean I agree, but I find it way easier to ignore the married women as opposed to ignoring troons. I've yet to find a lesbian space online that's not infiltrated by troons and/or straight/bi/questioning women to at least some degree.
I'll check out the site you mentioned, thanks for the rec!
I got married in my early twenties back when I was hoping to just supress that shit. The marriage lasted all of two years as we never even consummated it so one day he snapped and broke free of our non-relationship. So I can understand covering shit up but how do you cover it up THAT well and partake in a lesbian space all with no intent of actually leaving him?
It's like when 'proud asexual' women have marriages with regular sexual relations for the mans sake…like get out of there. Sex you don't truly want will fuck you up for years to come. Are we normalising that?
I used to think me seeing women as more beautiful than men had to do with men being utter slobs. >>175127
asexual has lost it's meaning. It used to people who didn't have any desire for sex. Now it's anyone who isn't a coomer. I blame the media for painting out the general public as sex-obsessed when most people aren't. This wouldn't be such a big deal if so many straight people who aren't asexual didn't keep using asexuality as an excuse act up.
It is true though, men are less attractive than women on average, which makes everything even more confusing.
For me it was understanding the difference between seeing an attractive woman and attractive man. For women I have instant pull, sometimes it is sexual and sometimes it is straight up thirst
for men - I can look at them and anything beyond 'huh, nice' has to be consciously created in my mind. If we went by the everyone is bisexual ideology, then I would say my attraction to men is a lot more cerebral and has to be actively created and maintained by my mind.
She is aware, so hopefully whatever (probably weird) first impression I made can be made better over time. I'm the kind of person who has to warm up to people.
I'm seeing her again this week, I'm so excited but still nervous. At least now the initial first meeting is out of the way.
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I believe in you! One day soon you'll live in the Coffee Shop AU version of your life.
i dunno if i'm posting in the right thread or not considering i'm questioning if i'm a lesbian but still like 80% sure of it. so i'm 19 and i've dated probably like 7 guys. none of them i've been happy with. i've talked to guys as well and hooked up and whatever but genuinely never felt anything, i felt uncomfortable and i always get this feeling of like .. just aching in my stomach. i feel like i'm being forced to do something i genuinely have no interest in. i only like guys when they play ''hard to get'' but as soon as i get them, they're out and i feel disgusted by them. i can't fathom being in a relationship with a man and i've always been more attracted to women and the concept of dating a woman, but i've been repressing it in a form of internalized lesbophobia because while i didn't grow up religious or anything, i just feel ashamed. i won't be able to bond with my girlfriends with 'boy talk'' or whatever and i feel like i might lose a lot of friends when we sort of lose that grasp of bonding in the form of ''boy talk'' it sounds genuinely stupid but i'm just scared that people might not be accepting. i'm just so confused because i've heard of comphet and stuff but i've only slightly considered myself to be lesbian, i'll see myself as lesbian one day and bisexual with a strong female lean the other day. i just don't know what to do because another guy is interested in me but i just can't provide to that, this is all so much to process and even though i'm an adult granted, i just turned 19 last month i still feel fucking scared. like i'm supposed to know what to do, i'm supposed to know how to handle this but i just can't. i just fucking don't know what to do. sorry for sperging and kind of a blogpost, i don't know anyone who's felt this way before so any reply, like literally any reply is appreciated.
>>175708> i've been repressing it in a form of internalized lesbophobia because while i didn't grow up religious or anything, i just feel ashamed
Yeah, I understand - was always accepting of gays until started to think that I may be one of them. It is harder, because now you will have to experience all the negative parts of being homosexual too, not just the fandom tier acceptance and fetishization>i won't be able to bond with my girlfriends with 'boy talk''
A real fear for me too, but I am afraid I won't be able to pass as a straight woman in front of acquaintances. As far as friends go, there are het women out there that are are not men-obsessed. And yes, I think there will be people that will leave you because they can't accept your sexuality, sorry
Idk, if you don't want the guy, don't do it, really. You are only 19 and one missed dick is not going to ruin your life.
And>as lesbian one day and bisexual with a strong female lean the other day.
I think the distinction doesn't matter here, if you are so much more attracted to women. Like, even if you are bi in this case you would still be happier in a relationship with a woman; a possible occasional male attraction is not going to save you.
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thank you. like seriously thank you because i have been thinking of losing friends for being lesbian because they'll think i have a crush on them or something but i think me being happy and comfortable with my sexuality matters more than some straight girls stereotyping me and thinking i'm in love with every girl i see. i'm going to think about it for a while, but at this point i'm sure. so, so sure that i am a lesbian. and even if i'm not i still appreciate you replying and helping me out. ty anon
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>>175708>questioning if i'm a lesbian but still like 80% sure >i've dated probably like 7 guys
For fuck’s sake anon.
All my friends are the straight, "normie", slightly religious type and they've all accepted me when I came out. Best of luck to you nonnie
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Went to Reddit because I was curious just how bad it had gotten. Incredible
Any good lesbian romance novels out there? I'm lonesome and looking for something mushy.>bitch about being lonely
All of the lesbians I meet are either fuckbois, too young, or taken. >butch? femme? how do you feel about labels?
I've never been fully either one, my casual clothes are very butch(I have a manual labor job) but I like to dress up femme from time to time>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? which ones don’t fit you at all?
I have a drawer full of flannels and drive a subaru. I have a high voice and like "femme" crafts like lacemaking and sewing>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?
I ran around in the woods in boy's clothes, but also liked to wear dresses. I did make my barbies kiss and played out fantasies of them running away together to live in a cottage in the woods. I didn't really think of clothes as masculine or feminine, my parents didn't really care as long as they were clean.>get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etc
My wife is tan and muscular, her breath smells like the sweet mint gum she chews while we spend the day working on our farm. We're sweaty and filthy from work and take a water break under a tree. She falls asleep on my shoulder and her hair is warm and smells like sunshine. At the end of the day we walk back to the house and eat crockpot stew while listening to folk music.
Thanks anon, I hope I'll meet her one day.>>176270
This, I was an out and proud tumblry type in high school but once I went out in the working world I had to be much more cautious.
Kind of related- I hate how coming out is portrayed as this big event done once. You never stop having to come out with every new person you meet. When your co-workers talk about relationships or ask if you have a big you have to read the room every time, and usually in my case, deflect the questions if you're not sure. Sometimes you can be pleasantly surprised by acceptance but sometimes people you thought were accepting actually aren't. As an adult there are more consequences.>I don't have time for a bf haha >Oh I'm picky, you know how guys are >I'm taking some time for myself before I get back out there
I feel ya. I'm in some gay and some supposed female-only spaces but they have trannies in them and I'm not sure who else is like me but I personally pretend I'm pro-trans just to get by. It is my hope that many of us are merely pretending to humor these sick scrotes but it's frustrating as shit having our already tiny spaces invaded like this. It saddens me further that maybe someone who also hates tranny presence in our lesbian spaces thinks of me
as a handmaiden just because I'm hiding my true feelings. Anyway, getting rambly. It sucks.
I don't really care if people wanna self mutilate, doesn't affect me and I'll use the pronouns regardless of context but I want my lesbian spaces back. It's too much.
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I want to be the buff, protective, 6'+ tall girlfriend, but I am just a 5'4" midget. feelsbadman. I want to know what the air up there is like
You can still be my protective gf
What it comes down to is very straightforward, but for some reason acts as a huge point of contention both ITT and every other LGBT community. Lesbians don't have sex with men. Simple as that. Keep in mind I'm a fairly young woman (early 20's) who has known about and accepted her attraction to women since childhood, but seriously. This is not rocket science.
Honestly, I could only believe that a late bloomer of that sort is actually a lesbian under very extreme circumstances. For example, if the marriage was forced or otherwise arranged, the husband was abusive
or otherwise difficult to escape, and she lived in an extremely homophobic area all her life. Personally I can't fathom having a prolonged romantic relationship with a man, much less having sex with one (on even a single occasion!)– and God forbid I bear his children. I would rather die a loveless, KHHV than suffer that fate. And to be honest, that'd be only slightly less hellish than dating a self-proclaimed late bloomer "lesbian."
Like, God. Nobody will hate you for being bisexual, so there's no need to pretend otherwise. I wish they'd just hook up with each other and leave us out of it.
>>176823>I would rather die a loveless, KHHV than suffer that fate
Funny you say that, because historically many homosexuals ended up being celibate. And both Christians and Muslims kind still say stuff like>being homosexual doesn't mean you have to act on your sinful desires, you can just dedicate your life to God
Also would love to know once and for all why so many bisexuals unashamedly call themselves lesbians while they have been with 0 women in total but have several ex-boyfriends. First cross that pussy bridge and then start calling yourself a raging gay bean
We can definitely tell you're not male, don't worry dog. PCOS looking like trans is just a tranny cope.>>176823
The vast majority of those closeted straight marriages have completely dead bedrooms. The children are made for the purpose of having something to pour your love into (or whatever other reason people have to spawn em, idk) but they're not like, accidents from having hella sex. But yeah the odds of a gay woman that grew up in a non-homophobic family/community that somehow ends up in a straight marriage for most of her life are very low.
Not sure if I'd date one with kids but without kids, I wouldn't mind at all. I do believe a gay woman can have a ltr with a man. There are a ton of reasons a woman might feel pressured to date/fuck men, and from what I've seen latebloomers are usually women who got married and had kids really young and are then essentially trapped in a sexless relationship with a dude they only love platonically. There's often stuff like financial dependency etc that makes them stay in the relationship even years after they've realized they're actually gay.
Also, unpopular opinion here, I do think a persons sexuality can shift over time. Maybe they were bi to begin with and over time, as they get older and experience changes in hormone levels etc they find themselves more attracted to women than before. But that's just how I see it. As long as they're women in relationships with/pursuing women and they eat pussy they're gay enough for me and are allowed to call themselves lesbians, I don't have any weird hangups over them having had sex with dicks before even if I haven't.
Anon your ex is terrible I'm sorry. She doesn't get to redefine your sexuality just because she can't cope with being female, that's insanely narcissistic.
>I'm scared I'll get stuck in a victim-savior relationship again or that my next gf will troon out.
I feel this so hard. I'm mainly into butch/masc women and it feels like they're all ticking timebombs now for transition. I won't date anyone who's not openly terfy.
Thanks anon, I'm mostly into femmes and even then I've met a few he/him/theys with cleavage and makeup. I don't get it.
We broke up a while ago but I stayed friends with her because I still felt responsible to make sure she was okay and because I still had feelings for her
, so I've been dipping in and out of the dating scene and running into the same thing. There are no real lesbian only spaces left online or off it seems. Some of my close friendships are actually with gay men, partially because they don't accept this nonsense either. We can chat without some weird tangent about validity or checks to see whether you're woke enough. Gay men get away with ignoring those types more than women. They have apps like Grindr for men only, but any women's sites have to be "queer" and accept everyone. I hate the word queer, and don't understand how quickly a reclaimed slur became a standard term.
Nta but you mentioned grindr which reminds me I just downloaded her dating app. It has a million gender options to choose from but no woman. Only womxn. Like enbies get their special genders but women cant just be women in lesbian dating app? Also trans man was an option, not trans mxn. >>177535
Im more masculine myself and one girl I dated said it would be "so cute" if I was a trans guy. Now Im worried I attract trans chasers when I am not even trans.
Me too, but it is better now than it was a couple of years ago. Still wish I was bi though and have a hope that my sexuality is just a phase that will end with the lockdown.>>177405
Wait till you get to the 'homophobic homosexual' phase, though imo I have a good reason to hate American lgbtq activists since they are setting back our rights big time
I'm sorry you went through that. Someone trying to redefine my sexuality because they started calling themselves a boy would piss me off so damn much. I'm not usually open about how TERFy I am (except around my gf, since she is too) but I'd get a lot more open very quickly if someone tried to convince me that I'm "bisexual" because I'm into soft butch tomboys who also might someday think of themselves as dudes.
We're not attracted to "gender identities" or the fantasy roleplay alter-egos that some people hold in their heads, we're attracted to the physical reality. >>177589
I swear I'm not some kind of lesbian fuckboy (fuckboi?) but I fantasize about a lesbian hookup culture more like what gay dudes have. Lez bathhouses and the like. I'm sure IRL it's actually pretty loveless to go around screwing random strangers but hey, it's a fantasy. Besides, if something like this existed IRL it would be colonized by gurldick in less than a week, ugh.
You're lucky to be a virgin, no matter how old you are. It gives you the chance to experience your first time with someone you really love who loves you in return. Sex is not something you have to try just to get it over with and join the sex-havers club. Look at the "losing virginity" thread on here. So many Anons feel disappointed in themselves for being impatient, getting pressured into it, going for hookups, etc.
I never intended to wait till marriage and I don't care for the "purity" narrative, but I feel enourmously lucky that my first time will be with my fiancee who loves me so much. (Honestly, we'll probably bang before the wedding, but I digress.)
Are you sure you not just very picky? I see conventionally attractive femmes on dating apps all the time.
t. ugly fuck
Going into lesbian thread and starting off with the>why are all lesbians fucking ugly
and thinking you will find support here was really not the brightest decision. Hope you are pretty enough to offset that retardation
Good advice. I'm not really looking for hookups rn because I'm not single, but I have nothing against bi women either. (Current gf is bi.) I did hook up with several bicurious mostly-straight women when I was younger, all fun and good times.
Now, I would absolutely hesitate to hook up with a bi woman who's currently
involved with a dude somehow, because you just know he's going to try to butt in at some point, even if she swears he'll stay far away and is cool with her exploring herself and so on. Seems like a number of women on dating apps are like this; they're not openly unicorn-hunting but they're not 100% single either.>>177719TERF
anon here, I met my gf at an anime convention. kek
I'm also not up to your soft-pretty-femme standards, though my gf might be. TBH I peaked because I look so butch/dykey that I got constantly mistaken for a fakeboi, saw lots of butch acquaintances troon out, and it got to me.
Absolutely based post. Tired of these coomers thinking they're entitled to the lesbian fantasy gf who looks like a breathtaking porn star or a runway model simply because they're "femme and not ugly" themselves. >>177737
It's called the useless lesbian syndrome. Lesbian women know how scrotes creep on women and how awful it is, so they're scared of being the predatory homosexual. After you've grown up in an environment that doesn't encourage same sex romance and fetishizes lesbian relationships to exist only for sexualization purposes it's hard to care about having relationships. Also because a lot of us didn't have the chance to explore the romantic and sexual side of our personalities during our teens for obvious reasons we never got to find out our needs and develop the necessary skills for relationships.
Imo it is just a one facet of a bigger problem - lesbian spaces being overrun by political lesbians. Also would explain why comphet is so popular, since you can claim that you had relationships with men because of le ebil society and not because you willingly engaged with them. Gold stars disprove the argument that every single woman is violently pushed into het relationships (and women have no choice but to submit to the pressure), which makes polilezzies seethe since we are ruining their larp.
If you look at the ones that are mad at gold stars, it is never lesbians that had sex with a man once/women with actual gay experience, it is always women with an extensive history of dating men that now want to retcon their lives
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Wasn't Rich one of the feminist activists that basically invented political lesbianism? And comphet is a polilez term? Therefore women need to actually read the work and educate themselves on what comphet actually is? I don't understand what you meant exactly.
Picrel quotes from the pdf, where Rich implies that being a lesbian is a political action and more of a refusal to marry than inherent sexual orientation. Associating lesbianism with political choice and movement opens a whole new world of spergs that inhabit lesbian spaces
Agree with this 100%. For me, comphet was about having "crushes" on fictional anime bishounen or otherwise unobtainable male pop idols. (Bonus points: I got to gossip about these guys with the girls I had actual crushes on.) As a teen I concluded that I was asexual because all IRL men were beyond revolting to me, with the purely theoretical exception of certain androgynous-looking celebs who were safely out of my league anyway. I never felt compelled to date or sleep with a guy at any point.
I've got nothing against bisexual women, and I'm not going to take away someone's gay card if they tried dick a couple times just to make sure they really hated it, but JFC you're not a lesbian if you've got a string of ex-boyfriends.
I think some of the anti-gold-stars are bi women who have sworn off dating men due to multiple bad experiences; they might even prefer
women, but that doesn't erase their past history of apparently finding men attractive enough to date and sleep with multiple dudes.
This is probably gonna get me banned for blog but but I need advice. How do I get my mom to accept that I'm not going to ever have grandkids? I came out to her as a lesbian when I was about fifteen and she's been telling me to "try to have an open mind when it comes to men for her sake" ever sense. She doesn't mind my female celebrity crushes or my wiseacre misandristic remarks I make from time to time but whenever I vent about my experiences as a woman who isn't into men she starts acting weird. I've got a lot of straight girl friends and a lot of the time I feel like I don't fit in with them because they've all got boyfriends. All the time I end up fading into the background when they talk about the guys their seeing and the guys they wish they were seeing, it's isolating as hell and it makes me feel awkward about myself but there's nothing outright wrong with it so it would be irrational to ask them to shut up about it so what else can I do but vent about it in private? Or sometimes I feel like the reason I'm so lonely is because I refuse to date a bisexual woman, not because they're "tainted by men" or whatever. I've been put through a lot of traumatic experiences by men who try to challenge me based on my lack of interest in dick and I can't imagine myself connecting with anybody who doesn't know what its like which obviously someone who's bisexual never could.
But she just starts playing with her hair and avoids looking me in my eyes while she tells me "Oh, well couldn't you just play along just to humor them or something? What about so-and-so from that show you like, you gotta admit he's really handsome" or "They like girls too so they're still discriminated against, there isn't anything wrong with being attracted to men". It's like she's trying to sell me this diet brand of homosexuality so that she can continue her bloodline. I have no doubt that's what this whole thing is all about. Most of the time she's more than accepting of my lesbianism if not downright happy. She's been post-menopausal for quite some time and she's talked to me about how she's realized what shitheads men are since she's lost her sex drive so she's glad I don't date them. Its an old straight lady way of looking at it but hey, at least she likes it! Aside from this one thing. "Maybe you end up with a girl, maybe you end up with a guy" and "if you decide to find a man and settle down and make some babies", she's always saying shit like that. If she knew about some of the things that have happened to me by guys who ALSO thought I should be more open-minded she would probably stop right away but those things involve some pretty credible anonymous rape threats, groping, and being flooded with, like, a thousand unsolicited dick pics all at once (that last one at the tender age of 14 all from boys I went to school with I might add). Its an uncomfortable topic and I've only ever told my ex girlfriend about it whose reaction was surprisingly less than compassionate so I'd probably have quite a bit of trouble going over that again.
I've been staying with her until I get back on my feet for almost two years now and with all the COVID bullshit going on I don't see myself moving out for awhile so I really want to fix this. I'm growing increasingly and increasingly more uncomfortable with her bringing up the prospect of me "settling down", even unprompted. It isn't just that though. As pathetic as it sounds she's one of my best friends and I want her to fully accept who I am. What do I do?
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so what's the verdict. real or fake? also
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i want what they have
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That's pretty hot, good taste anon
bro just give me boob already. I am begging you.
Do you guys think after the lockdown era they'll be a lot more meetups and efforts for us to get together?
Quite pessimistic, but - it either won't change or everyone will become even more autistic and reclusive. Might be my country's culture, but after the first lockdown I didn't see any changes in the amount and type of events organized (I'm talking generally, not lgb-related)
I also think that lesbians aren't actually motivated to create lesbian-only events and spaces. On average, lesbians are content with sharing everything with the lgbt community and being ~inclusive~. Even if you think that there are many secret terfs out there, they are just that - secret and silent, while still engaging with tras on main
>>178573>I also think that lesbians aren't actually motivated to create lesbian-only events and spaces.
problem is that they get invaded by troons immediately. nobody wants to suck girldiqué but you aren't allowed to be vocal about it so you just keep quiet and to yourself instead of dealing with harassment for being an evil terf
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Anyone feel kind of scrotish in their dating and attraction habits sometimes? I always used to shit on scrotes for only befriending women with relationship/sex on the mind but I recently fell for a really good friend of mine. We were getting super close and I thought I had a chance until I learned she was in a relationship of 5, almost 6 years with another woman. They're basically a forever couple and it drives me insane talking to her and dreaming of what they have so I've been trying to keep my distance. I feel just a little gross knowing she probably is really concerned about our friendship imploding but it's really because I can't stop the gay thoughts. Sucks.
Women I get along with perfectly are so rare AND she's gay but she'll never be single. Feels sad man. I feel like a dumbass incel just typing this, but I really hope one day I can get over her in a romantic sense and just be genuine friends with her.
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i'm so sorry you're going through this, sister. i get it though. when i meet a girl and i really vibe with her there's always this thought in the back of my head like what if she's the one? like you just never know when you'll find someone so just considering it instead of being a useless lesbian 24/7 is a good thing.
just remember that it's okay to have crushes and, no matter what you do, you will never be as despicable as a scrote.
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>>178595>you just keep quiet and to yourself
I would have agreed with you a while ago but then I noticed how many lesbians are vocally pro-trans and how trigger
-happy they are to harass another woman for thoughtcrimes. There is a difference between keeping quiet to avoid confrontation and crying TWAW and many are in the second camp. So,> they get invaded by troons immediately
because many women are happy to invite these ~poor, oppressed uwu~ troons themselves. Yes, nobody wants to suck girldick, but that doesn't stop TRA's from going full troon-train. Case in point - MichFest, that many radfems love to talk about as some Promised Land, has always been open to trannies, it's just TRA's are retarded enough to not do any research and just jump on one event where TIM was ejected from festival in 1991.
Img not related, but just another example
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How do I cope that I’ll most likely end up with a girl who likes dick? It’s such a turn off but most girls who are into girls are bisexual or pozzed trans-inclusive queer types. The only ones that I know who aren’t accepting of dick in their lives are butch and I’m just super not into that.
goldstar lesbians still exist, but yeah
speaking from experience you will need to date/hook-up with a few bi women in your life before finding a goldstar. bi women are a lot easier to find and date, so I'd say as long as you don't get invested with them you can gain some experience until you meet the woman you want.
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>>179380>this is some redpill tier shit, like sleeping with "whores" until you find your traditional waifu.
it is what it is nonnie
. most bisexuals do not end up marrying the same sex, so you might as well keep things casual instead of getting invested in someone who's gonna leave you for a man anyways.>do you not realize you're being contaminated by dick that way?
I was simply offering her solutions. I've dated bi women before, so I'm not really hung up on the purity thing she is.
>>179531>pointing out an objective fact is scrote behaviour
bisexuals don't take us seriously at all when it comes to relationships, so why should we keep fighting for crumbs? sorry to crush your uwu 'i'm such a hopeless romantic!!1!' world.
and yet you continue to behave like a scrote, who the fuck says this shit if not scrotes "uwu silly girlies take their harlequins and disney cartoons too seriously"
just go and get a phalloplasty already
the real misogynist (and lesbophobe) here is you, hun
go back to your bisexual thread
you see women as resources for you to use, you obviously view me as some sort of silly uwu little girl, you are misogynistic. me pointing it out that you behave like a scrote is not me saying that every women should behave the same, it is me saying that maybe view omen as fucking people, that's all
get on t
yeah, truth is that i am not misogynist, you are.
you view women as resources, you do not view group of women as bunch of invidicuals but as a hivemind, you are condescending towards other women based on the idea that other girls that aren't you are some silly vapid little girls.
me hurling some jokey take t-shit on the internet isn't the same as your behavior which extenctd to real life
whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean…
i'm sorry you were dropped on the head as a baby, but I wish you a speedy recovery and good luck with getting your GED>>179750
I find the best thing is to just let it go away on it's own. the more you obsess with getting rid of the feelings, the more they consume you. there will be times where you are around her and feel like you're being "obvious" but 99% of the time you're not. in my experience, straight women aren't attuned to picking up same-sex crush vibes anyways.
This. I don't get crushes on straight girls solely due to this, I always reckon that even if she found her inner gay side she would be one of those girls who would treat a lesbian as her lapdog for receiving head from, running errands and nothing else. Same goes for the "bi" girls who only have experience dating men but consider themselves "bi" because they don't get grossed out by the thought of being in the proximity of a lesbian.
Honestly, just the thought of the woman being attracted to men is a major turn off for me. They have bad news written all over them.
And on a related note, >>179924
Why does this thread have reoccurring posters talking about having sex with men? You can be a manhating bisexual all you want but getting unsatisfying shit sex from scrotes doesn't mean you're a lesbian.
She does, she's not the problem. But taking turns breaks the intensity imo because we can't be on the same level of excitement; and I hate being passive. We tried scissoring and fingering each other simultaneously but it's quite uncomfortable.
Any of you have tried these strapless trap-ons ?
we’ve been together for two years. she’s met my parents. at this stage we haven’t talked seriously about living together and right now we are long distance due to covid wrecking some of our plans. i think she wants to move far away from her family to have a life with me but i still have my doubts about how exactly this will work because i am aware that once our lives become more entwined and we become “partners” more than just girlfriends it will be hard to hide this part of her life (me) . back when we first got together she said that she doesn’t want to get married because she wouldn’t want to have a wedding without her family there. i didn’t think much of it at the time because we had only just got together but now that we’ve been together for a while i’m looking into the future and it’s like looking into darkness. i don’t know what will happen. and i do want to get married at some stage.
i feel so selfish for wishing she could just tell her family that she’s gay but her family come from a very conservative culture and its very likely she would get legally disowned if she were to do this. so she’ll most likely lose something either way.
I think this is something you can resolve only by talking to her. You need to be honest with each other about your wants and needs and goals and where you see yourselves headed, whether that's together or apart, with family support or otherwise. I don't mean to shame you Nonita but it's kind of insane that you could date for two years without discussing this concretely. That said, you're not selfish for wishing that you could be open about your love. It sounds like your girlfriend is very important to you and you want to make it work, so any obstacles will of course become frustrating. My main advice is to think of yourselves as a team confronting a problem with your joint effort, rather than opposing sides with a point to prove.
I really hope that an Anon with experience in this situation can offer more support. Until then, I wish you and your girlfriend all the best.
>>180134>>180132>at this stage we haven’t talked seriously about living together and right now we are long distance due to covid wrecking some of our plans.
LDRs with no serious talks or means of living together in the near future (as in within a year or less) are a waste of time and often just a bandaid for not being alone.
>i feel so selfish for wishing she could just tell her family that she’s gay but her family come from a very conservative culture and its very likely she would get legally disowned if she were to do this. so she’ll most likely lose something either way.
Unless she's in a country where you can get killed for being gay, I really don't think this is a valid
reason to place YOUR life on pause for her. You only have one life. All time you have wasted in an LDR with someone who refuses to come out is time you could've spent finding someone in your local area who doesn't have all that baggage. If I were you I'd move on and tell her that maybe things could work out once she's out to her family and both of you have the means of starting a real life together instead of just being penpals.
yeah that’s the thing, we were in a normal relationship for one year and it’s become indefinitely long distance due to travel restrictions where i live. at the time when we had to make a decision about whether to stay together or break up because we had already been together for a year that seemed like a sufficiently long time that breaking up would be kind of pointless. but now that we’ve been long distance for an entire year and i don’t think it’s going to end anytime soon idk.. i’ve been more preoccupied with the future and where exactly our relationship is headed. if i picture breaking up with her i don’t think i would date someone else for a long time. my life is very small. i study i work and i have a few friends so it’s not like i’m turning down better relationship chances by being with her. long distance relationships are hard and they require a lot of effort and i guess i’m just worried that we could be doing everything to keep it going right now only for it to get even more difficult when we are physically back together and more needs to be done to hide our relationship from her family.
it’s at times like these i wish i could be straight
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Does anybody read any good Webtoons/gl manga that doesn't pander to SJW type shits? I prefer ones w/ lots of drama and character arcs.
Reviews for citrus are negative or mixed and I can't find any webtoons that haven't fallen into exaggerated stereotipes .
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Korean and Chinese webtoons have become my favorite medium for f/f romance kek. They're neither sjw nor scrote pandering, lots of them have adult main characters as well, unlike Japanese yuri. Here are some I enjoy:Mojito
(picrel): Established couple between a model and a lawyer. The model gets outed and they have to handle the outrage from the public as well as homophobia from family, it's mostly light hearted though. We also get super cute flashbacks showing how they met. My current faveOpium
: Set in 1946. Korean American doctor goes back to a ruined Korea as a medical advisor. She meets a local doctor and discovers some nasty secrets I'd rather not spoil. The art is fantastic and the story is very intriguing. Highly recommendedHer Shim Cheong
: Set in historical Korea. Beggar woman attracts the interest of a powerful minister's wife. Art is excellent as well. I haven't caught up to this one in ages but I heard great things about it.Soulmate
: 27 y/o MC switched bodies with her 17 y/o past self. She tries to save her girlfriend from illness. Sounds depressing but it's mostly adorable fluff.
Honorable mentions (aka I love this but too lazy to write descs):
- Ring my bell
- Getting to know Grace
- So, Do you want to go out or? (manga)
- Still sick (manga)
- After the curtain call
- It Would Be Great If You Didn't Exist
- Moonlight Garden VERY nsfw lol
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I really am the type to say "lol imagine liking men." I just cannot fathom it. In fact I really pity women who depend on men for love and intimacy because it must be so exhausting. Meanwhile in lesbian relationships, both partners actually understand and empathise with each other, and see themselves as equals. Plus, compared to men, women are infinitely more beautiful, intelligent, interesting, and funny. I love the way women walk. I love female humour. The sex is better too. Women who exclusively love and date other women are the true queens of society.
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ladies if you haven't checked out maxineharlow's work on please do so.
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I love her art! Thanks anon
Same annon as >>180482
thanks for the recs :)
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Why is visibility day a thing?
because the transbians need attention, just like on all the other 364 days of the year. i checked the tag on twitter and the first thing i saw was some bald hulking troon talking about being valid
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and guess who pushes these trends?
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this has to be satire….
Every year I get older I do less objectively stupid shit.
Fucking excited to see where I’ll be. Old lady queendom sounds like a dream
No, yet I don't like body pains>>183162>Old lady queendom
based lezzie. Can't wait hehe
but then they don't get their complexes, personality disorders, and paraphilias enabled and validated, nonny
. they are getting unhealthy psychological "needs" met and that's a hard drug to quit once they start
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Not afraid, would love to embrace it with someone I loved
Dream gf is a stupid and unfruitful concept for me, I don't like to daydream of an ideal waifu.
That being said if I had to pick it'd be:>Clothes
No Forever21 type seasonal trend shit, no embarrassing weeb style>Hair
I don't care at all besides it being clean and flattering her.>Face
Interesting features, I am fond of eyes that are far apart and mouths that are on the pouty side. Big ears are cute. Clear skin.>Personality
Someone who listens and shares. I don't need her to be an extrovert at all but it's just essential to have that kind of communication if you're looking to build a relationship that lasts. Besides that, honestly probably no personality disorders. I can't deal with it.
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someone comfy to be with, introverted and a lover of nature. If we could talk about horror movies together it would be even better kek.>>183222
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is it kinda weird that i have the hots for Camille Paglia
healthy weight and not conventionally attractive ideally, looks a bit weird(?) either chapstick or butch ideally
personality wise i'd like an artsty fartsy/creative type who hasn't drunk the SJW coolaid, wants to take out the trash and pay taxes together. likes cats. bonus points if she is fujo
I’m getting ready to start the process to become a nun but TBH if I met my dream girl I would give it up>Clothes
Modest dresser. I don’t really care about style but I’m tired of the woke feminist idea that it’s empowering to dress like you’re going clubbing 24-7, especially on lesbians. I don’t really like hardcore butch women but I do like chapstick lesbians, maybe a soft butch who can coordinate outfits with me for Mass >Hair & Face
Honestly if she just takes good care of herself that’s what matters. I dated a girl who slept in her makeup before and it stressed me out on her behalf. I take care of myself, I want my partners to take care of themselves too. I’d prefer someone plainer as opposed to someone drop-dead gorgeous, I just really like women who I can make smile a lot. If her smile is nice that’s what I like most. >Personality
Has to go to church with me. My religion is hugely important to me and I would want her to be able to participate in that spiritual life. I like nerdy and shy girls, mostly, librarian or school teacher types. Girls who just wanna hold hands at a museum with me and have that be enough.
it's always the bis insanely insecure about liking women because they think it's unfeminine which triggers
them since that's all men ever valued them for. so they cope by pushing their selfhatred onto lesbians
these women sucked dick all day then changed their tune after signing up for twitter and think they're feminist queens just for projecting issues with their ex boyfriends onto lesbians>>179741>>179743>"uwu silly girlies take their harlequins and disney cartoons too seriously">just go and get a phalloplasty already>you see women as resources for you to use, you obviously view me as some sort of silly uwu little girl>you are condescending towards women because you view them as silly, vapid, little girls
how many boyfriends treated you like this to have a public ptsd flashback episode so hilariously unhinged. all she said is bisexuality isn't attractive and you really wonder why LMAOO
The church actually doesn’t teach that homosexuality is a sin at all. A chaste gay person is considered to be a Catholic in good standing. Only the sexual act is considered “disordered conduct,” because it can’t result in reproduction (same classification as anything that’s not PIV sex), and there are entire schools of Catholic thought that think it’s a little funny to cling to that teaching when many, if not most, cishet Catholics have violated that doctrine. I personally found peace in meditation and prayer, and know in my heart that my love cannot be a sin. It’s not lust; it doesn’t make me want to turn from God or His teachings. Moreover, I have taken refuge in the story of Christ allowing the sinful woman to wash His feet and listen to Him: even a woman like her, broken and left desolate by the world, was still worthy of His attention and love. We are taught that God is both infallible and full of Divine Mystery, which means my identity was no mistake. It was the human leadership of the church who led me into self-hate, not God.
It’s part of my drive to become a visibly religious lesbian woman. I want others to see that God’s Grace extends to all of us. New Ways Ministries in fact runs a conference exclusively for lesbian women religious, and they’ve published a book of essays from their members. It truly helped me on my journey. >>184179
I hope you find your peace, anon! It took me a while to find my own but it is so wonderful to have. Catholicism isn’t for everyone (I reverted from Quakerism after trying a few different churches and denominations), but I know you’ll find the grace and light you’re looking for.
Your post is beautiful and informative, nona.>New Ways Ministries in fact runs a conference exclusively for lesbian women religious, and they’ve published a book of essays from their members. It truly helped me on my journey.
What is the title of the book? Sounds interesting.
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I had such a huge crush on that character. She dates Jenny for a couple episodes as a normal butch before she troons out and she's so cute. I was in high school and had never really seen a butch lesbian before so it blew my mind lol. There should have been a butch on the main cast, Shane doesn't count.
Ivan was cute too, she gave me a thing for drag kings.
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I know the bisexual thread is a dumpster fire in general but this in particular made my brain hurt. This is the most ridiculous cope I've seen and one of the reasons why I'm wary of dating bisexuals, I don't want to be a stand-in for a male that gets dumped the second someone with a dick walks in.
You have your looooong ass noses in the bisexual thread but pretend not to see that anon identifies as straight and everyone in there was dunking on her, kek.
For women you don’t want to date, you sure are fixated. inb4 “no u”, I don't check this thread but I saw this post while scrolling and minding my bisexual fucking business.
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basically what >>183834
said>Dream gf is a stupid and unfruitful concept for me, I don't like to daydream of an ideal waifu
but i love butches, love their confidence and strength, especially in the current climate that forces butches to transition because they are seen as men lite. i also love feminine women though, especially chubbier ones like in picrel (_yumi_nu on ig).
i think in general my dream woman could be anyone, as long as she's confident and comfortable in her body and doesn't give a fuck about societal beauty standards.
biggest turn off is a gender identity. terfiness is sexy.
We get bis' noses up our asses over there and in here on the daily. You're today's "I don't check up on you but I know you don't want to date me and am checking up on you to make you aware I'm a pissed off victim
, but I'm not checking up on you, I said I'm not". Hi!
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Zzzzzzz stop bumping your thread to have your daily moan and bitch abut the mean old bi-bis oppressing you with just our existence every day and maybe I wouldn’t have bothered with your trash ass seethepost lol.
To prove a point, I’m not even going to bother looking up at the other no doubt seething lesbisponses to my initial post, because they’re not on the front page of /g/ right now. As they shouldn’t be. Your sperging should always be hidden, it’s shameful otherwise. ♥
What the fuck. Leave >>184430
It sounds like an unhinged troon mad that lesbians won't fuck him tbh
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It feels selfish to want a girlfriend. Maybe it’s because I’m butch and I’ve been told by countless peers and partners that I’m just “so much like a man”, which hurt and confused me at the time in its own way, but I feel as though my desire for a partnership with another woman is self centered and egotistical. So I’ll just yearn here for a moment; I can’t wait for the day I meet a woman I get along with who sees me for more than just a fun accessory or an intriguing and exciting fling. I want to be one whole part to a two part recipe, I want to be seen as an equal and I want to be loved but the feeling of wanting to be loved come with feeling guilty for that desire. I hope to find someone who feels the same way I’ve felt before when I’m in love, I’m worried there’s something wrong with me and I’ll never feel like I’m loved in the way that I love others. Who knows maybe I’m a narcissist, oh well all in a days work
I understand this feeling, nonnie
. Butches and other GNC women are often told they're just male lite and going on a tinfoil tangent even on this site people force the narrative that they "act like scrotes" just because they have a mental image of a sexist evil bulldyke strawman in their heads, a traditional way to shame gay people into believing they're all preying on innocent, confused individuals. I've talked about this with my lesbian friends and a good share of them feel ashamed for desiring for a woman's love due to not wanting to be seen as one of those "predatory lesbians". Does this mindset ring a bell to you?
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Definitely, but I’m not sure how to get past that mindset. I catch myself before I compliment other women on their looks in fear of being seen as hitting on them, and don’t get me started on women I’m actually attracted to and want to pursue, I treat every interaction as if it’s a job interview. It’s hard to express my undying love for women when I feel like I may be inappropriate in feeling undying love for women.
you could try butching it up?? people are receptive to stereotypes
could be just me equating closet = safety but people not taking you seriously could be a plus.
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Idk if that's considered soft but she's perfect to me
Prison bi? sounds like you're lesbian but have incredibly low self-esteem and you don't want to be alone
work on yourself and the gf will come
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my childhood bestfriend… i told her i liked her out of the blue and she got creeped out so i told her i was just joking and "couldn't believe she actually bought that". i came out to her in sixth grade and i promised i wouldnt develop a crush on her
>favourite lesbian media?
Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu and MLEwL by Kabi Nagata
>how did you know you were gay?
i was a misandrist in my childhood always thought men and boys looked strange and unattractive but i thought i would grow into it but i never did… so i forced myself to like a boy but really i was just larping. after a lot of thinking and going back and forth between being bi and lesbian i have found that i couldnt imagine myself ever being genuinely attracted to a male like emotionally and sexually ( but what would i know im a virgin !!! )
also ive never genuinely liked a person that wasnt female
>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?
i was a tomboy at school and clothing wise but i was a girly girl at heart ( and online lol on every game i played my avatar was always pink )
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Coworker: "are you gonna be ok with her calling you wife though, anon? 'cause you dress and act like a guy so…"
I really hate being butch sometimes. Fucking trannies get more respect that this, make the suffering stop already.
The server I joined has 2 lesbians, one is a horny AGP transbian and one is an obvious bihet turned "lesbian" after breaking up with her last boyfriend kek. Actual hell trying to meet lesbians online>>185506
Every time a hettie asks, in all sincerity, "which one of you is the male" I want to end it. And fuck all of this "butches are just men lite" mind rot, men really can't understand anything beyond the "she wants to be with me/she wants to be me" dichotomy because that's how their own broken chromosome brain works.
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Get one of these bad boys and carry it around with you all the time.
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yeah, I'm afraid you will have to commit to living in stuff like pic related
try to find terf
lgb servers through radblr or radtwt. even if you're not a full rf, as long as you're not overly edgy you could find one
Growing up a butch I grew so bitter about bihet girls who thought of me as "like a man but safe and with emotions and better manners" they could hold on to before meeting the Nigel that doesn't treat them as
badly as he could. The fear has prevented me from pursuing romantical relationships which I know is on me and my trust issues but that's probably just the Universal Butch Lesbian Experience.
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>raging because all the butches or sane tomboys that I know exist are only on this site
>I’ll probably be forever alone
Honestly my experiences with bi women have been atrocious. Granted they were libfems so that did not help matters in any way lmao. Towards the end though my last ex got really
fucking weird. Started talking about strap-ons with a jizz-hole that can jizz lube. *"no, anon, I don't think of you as a man omg how could you say that? I just want you to creampie me". That killed my libido right on the fucking spot. The fake jizz thing is bad enough but the pornsick terms like "creampie" she was starting to use made my clit invert so hard I nearly spat it out. So yeah, I completely understand why it's hard to trust bi women. Definitely a universal butch experience, unfortunately. There's good ones out there for sure, I just think you have to be upfront about your fears with them. Easier said than done, I know.>>185540
I'm using my butch pseudo-man magic powers to manifest a butch for you in your area, nonita. Godspeed.
I was trying to be positive when I said mention your fears lmao. For sure, 9/10 will immediately crucify you for it. Even though bi women get away with chatting way more shit about lesbians.>>185585>>185587
Bisexual women definitely have more power. For one, there's more of them than us. Are they all actually bisexual? Probably not. But they are loud and they will cancel for breathing. I think the het partnered ones/actually het ones are more over the top to compensate for being intruders.
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This is the funniest article title I've ever seen
THANK YOU. People make me out to be a demon when I say this like bro… why go and talk to gay people about their business when you're settled down with the opposite sex? Like I'm not saying don't involve yourself at all but goddamnit, you are not on the same level as us. This goes double for conventionally feminine women who try to act like people can read their mind and find out they're bi and somehow they're oppressed for it.>>185620
Reject modernity, return to bullying fakefags.
I'm pretty rf but what I'm wary of is joining a group whose express purpose is to circlejerk about how much we hate trannies. It feels like doomer mentality, I don't wanna spend my time constantly sharing articles on them and obsessing over everything they do. If I'm wrong and there are rf communities who mainly just focus on keeping trannies out but the interior discussion is completely divorced of tranny discourse, I'd love to check it out. I'm just wary of the brainrot because I really don't wanna spend time on these freaks.>>185543>creampie
Disgusting. What makes people think we wanna simulate straight sex and pretend to impregnate each other?
I feel ya, nonita. I clung on to my long hair as the last bastion of my femininity for years. I literally only had it all shaved off for surgery and then slowly grew to realise I actually like short hair despite how differently I was treated for it. Other things like mannerisms and clothes I just eventually tired of. I preferred the treatment I got for looking vaguely
less butch but I hated that I wasn't being true to myself. I'm sorry that I don't have any helpful advice here and I'm too autistic to phrase things right but eventually you just gotta let go and dress and act how you naturally want to. You will be bitter about your treatment, it's hard not to be. I sure as hell was bitter, still am a bit. But again, you just gotta let go. It's like anything else in life - holding onto negative feelings never does you any good. Just focus on being yourself; personally I feel so much more confident when I'm dressed up and feeling sharp. I would never be able to feel that way if I kept on trying to appeal to normies.
You have every right to feel bitter about that, nonners. I do think that you should stick to what represents you rather than trying to be liked because it's just a lie otherwise. The warmth they show femme presenting women is just a reflection of their misogyny anyway, they think a woman is acceptable when we stay in our "place" and behave the way that is prescribed to us. It's a charade, that warmth they offer to those that conform. Forget it, their willingness to acknowledge your dignity is entirely conditional. Focus your attention on people that do
accept you and let them nurture you. The rest of it does not matter and will never be yours anyway.
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How do you cope with the fact that there’s so many other lesbians who feel completely at home in the queer community and don’t see trans people as any sort of threat? I’ve been thinking how even in a big city, even some place supposedly “accepting” I still feel as isolated and menaced for being a lesbian as when I lived in a little hick town because of the community where I’m supposed to feel most seen and safe when there’s plenty of girls who can be totally calm and detached from all the homophobic bullshit rampant in it, some of them even participate!! I don’t know if anyone else feels this way but it makes me feel so weird. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just old fashioned with an outdated backwards view on what the gay community should be like. Kind of like pic related. Just some weird bitter dyke whose living in the past that can’t handle change and wants everyone to feel as shitty as she does by complaining about this kind of thing. It’s not like I live in some third world country where gay marriage isn’t legal or something, so what’s my excuse for being so angry all the time? Why does it feel like I’m the only one who feels this way? I need a real community!
I could honestly deal with roleplaying and weird jizz strapons and whatever because it's not "real" but the fact that in everyday life they make it so apparent that you have to be on your toes ready to pack your bags. It's hard to explain but the overall vibe you get from them making it clear they resent you for not having a dick, not being able to be a trophy hunk husband or them being lowkey ashamed of you being a "non-lady". In the previous thread an anon described this situation where some bihet girl slowly starts making the butch wear makeup and do her hair and wear girlier clothes so that they can be a sexy femme couple and that's about what I'm trying to say.>>185736
A lot of gay people keep to themselves and have no contact with the rest of the "community" or at least the worst part of it so they're able to shrug troons, stupid straight allies and other community leeches off. My only other lesbian friend legitimately wasn't aware of most of the tranny shenanigans like pressuring lesbians to date them until very recently.
Oh yeah I had to stay on my toes too. Even if the jizz cannon wasn't a deal breaker the fact that she constantly reminded me I was punching above my weight and that I was so "mannish" completely eroded my confidence. She used to talk about men she found hot a lot too and if a man so much as looked her way she would tell me all about it to make me jealous. It was like psychological warfare. I'm finally over it and healed now and I recently saw a pic of my ex and I stg I saw her through new eyes. She's… kinda ugly and if I'm being completely honest she has the horsey face of an inbred posh girl. I feel like I was gaslighting myself to find her hot lmao. I'm no 10/10 but damn I'm better than that. I do think upon reflection it was her insecurity that lead her to constantly talk about me landing someone I didn't "deserve" so I would agree with her and make her believe it but it's such a shitty way to act. She's not the first woman to feel insecure ffs. Just tell self-deprecating jokes like a normal woman and move on.>>185736
You're not alone, nonita. I'm completely divorced from the "community" irl and this thread is the only place I talk to other lesbians online. I had the exact same feeling of being a cranky old woman behind the times but tbh I think a lot of people in the community are just lying to themselves or secret terves who don't have the balls to say it. Fuck living like that. There's definitely tons of women like us scattered about like pariahs. If you are looking for irl meets try tumblr or twitter and start networking. Personally I've just made peace with it but I'm an autist that's happy to have no social life beyond my fiancée, family and work. Good luck, nonny
>>185748>She used to talk about men she found hot a lot too and if a man so much as looked her way she would tell me all about it to make me jealous.
nta but I had this with my bi ex too. Every time she saw an attractive guy or had a sex dream about men I’d have to hear about it in detail and like reassure her that liking men is valid
. I think she was trying to bait me into saying something she could twist into biphobia, we were both on Tumblr and she really internalized the whole “bihets are systemically oppressed and abused by the big mean dykes!!!!!” narrative. ironically I was originally a huge fucking simp for bi women but dating one made me pretty biphobic lol. I could date a febfem maybe but that's it.
Your ex was definitely baiting you, when I had the courage to actually tell mine that I don't want to hear about whatever ugly moid she's into this week it IMMEDIATELY got turned into "oh so you're shaming me for being bisexual?!" instead of her realizing that a conversation about attractive scrotes with a lesbian is gonna be a one sided conversation. We were on tumblr too and she also bought into being a pwecious widdle persecuted bisexy despite being conventionally feminine and hiding me from most of her friends, her work and her family. She got called gay a few times at school for being a nerdy autist and completely ignored that "gay" was/still is used out of context as a vague negative insult by bullies and went straight to "I am oppressed for my sexuality that nobody knows about". She got really mad at me any time I reblogged a post dunking on troons too lmao. I feel the same way now that maybe
I could date a febfem but I'm done giving bi women a chance tbh.
I was sort of fooling around with a bi girl at one point and she was simping hard over male celebrities and her hot male professors, the ones she was really into were those extremely masculine, burly ones too. It sounds so childish but made me feel inadequate a lot of the time and I couldn't relate to her sperging about them so the relationship obviously went nowhere. >>185757>she also bought into being a pwecious widdle persecuted bisexy despite being conventionally feminine and hiding me from most of her friends, her work and her family.
This makes me seethe so much. I'm sorry you had to go through this nonna. Like a lot of others here I would date a febfem just fine but a bihet with a track record of male only crushes and relationships is off my list. >>185759
They accept it because they don't see it as a real thing. That's not really a very valuable allyship to us, it's the exact same thing as what woketards are doing but in a different flavor.
Honestly simping for randoms while dating someone is never going to be okay, ever. I don't care about their gender (though scrotes are so gross I don't get it
) it's just inappropriate as hell to constantly put your partner on edge like that. Sounds like some kinda personality disorder.
Thank you, nonita. ♥ >>185794
Honestly, I never really thought about it too much but yeah. It's certainly odd. My fiancée and I have spoke about first celeb crushes as baby gays and laughed about how clueless we were as kids but that was a totally different context. I would never straight up say to her that I'm drooling over XYZ celeb because there's no reason for it, unless you're purposefully trying to be a bitch.
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reminds me of this
. You did nothing wrong.
Literally why talk about people you find attractive to you partner? Male or female that will cause some problems. I know OP is being dense on purpose to maintain victimhood but c'mon. Like I said here: >>185824
and anon said here: >>185794
it's something you just don't do. I was perfectly fine when my ex talked about her personal experiences with men as that was part of her life, it's just a dick move to be like "hey I think this man is sexy, what do you think?"
. And yeah some lesbians will complain about them going back to men, just like some bisexuals will complain if you on to date a lesbian and not another bi woman. But if your actions have made someone to feel like they're inadequate for not being a man and then gone on to date one then they have every right to bitch about it. Also how the fuck is bisexuality "nuanced"
? You fuck both sexes, I get it already. It would be the fucker with a Spock profile pic too lmao. Thank fuck I deleted my tumblr account.
Yeah, when I was last single I had tinder for like, a day before I deleted that shit. I've done the whole experiment thing before and I'd rather have zero pussy than go through that again. Had I not met my fiancée in the most unlikeliest of places (fucking AA lmao) I think I would just end up a spinster because navigating gay spaces gives me a fucking headache.>>185833
You did nothing wrong, nonita. I promise that the vast majority of lesbians and bi women have all had at least one experience like that in the past. Noticing beautiful women is completely natural and it happens subconsciously. We don't choose to do it, our brain does it for us. It's how you act that counts and getting a glimpse of her is fine, it's no way near objectifying, I promise. I'm random anon on an imageboard so I have zero reason to lie to you. Besides, straight women check out the "competition" all the time so I'm sure that woman turned quite a few heads that day.
It's really common with lesbians, seriously. Everyone I've talked to knows this and exactly how it feels like. You can barely give your best female friend a platonic hug without feeling guilty about it because you don't want them to interpret it as groping or sexual harassment. The predatory homosexual is such a deeply ingrained fear-mongering stereotype that we're going to autistic lengths to avoid contact in order not to make women feel uncomfortable because we know how horrible it is to be objectified and sexualized. >>185835
One hundred percent based post, anon.
In the last year or so I had a whole series of uncomfortable incidents where men acted gross with me and I think me wearing leggings (or some call em yoga pants) was a part of why it was happening. The last time it happened I went home and threw out every tight pair of pants I own.
I now feel really bad any time I see an attractive woman wearing yoga pants because sometimes you just have a passing thought. Simply noticing that someone looks good doesn't compare to staring at them, following them around or saying gross shit though. It's not the same.
I'm too young To remember such times anon but I come from a country that legalized homosexuality recently so I feel you.
I meet like only two bi girls and one Lesbian in my whole life at my old school. Though the Bi in question was with a boyfriend and the lesbian had a girlfriend already in college
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Have any of you ever owned, or currently own, any lesbian lgbt flags/paraphernalia? To me it's like a catholic decking out her room with candles, crosses, Jésus art, and incense. No ill-will to our resident catholic lesbo here<3 You can decorate your space how you like obv, but I guess I just don't get the outward expression of this kind of thing?
I was only thinking about this lately. I don't wear flags on myself and never would but I have a space above my bed that's begging for something to brighten it up.
But then a couple days ago I had workmen at my house and I didn't even know they'd be going into my bedroom too..but they did. Had a moment where I suddenly felt glad that my room is boring with no clues about that. Where I live it's a mixed bag. Some people will turn very cold if they suspect that about you.
I'm also just glad I didn't have a dildo sitting out anywhere lol
Flag merch is so fucking tacky, but also as a very visible butch I don't have to worry about people mistaking me for straight so I guess I can kinda get people like >>186026
getting something subtle, but a big ol' flag on your wall is just tasteless. That being said, if I were
going to get a flag it would be the labrys flag because it makes genderspecials who call it "the TERF
flag" butthurt kek.
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I just looked up 'lesbian wall art decor' to see if there's anything tasteful or pretty subtle that I could get
This isn't what I want
LMAO this is so bad it almost
loops back around to being good. I'm so tempted to stick this on a pinterest board for interior design ideas my fiancée and I share, just to see how long it takes for her to notice it kek.
I think people choose the worst gay paraphernalia. I don't like the trend of decking the gaff out in flags and rainbows. It looks gay but not in the way it's supposed to. I would like a small lesbian flag somewhere in my room as a novelty though, or maybe some decorations that had lesbian flag colour theme for subtlety
One of my closer friends is a gay guy and he deadass has smallish statues of ancient Greek style men "wrestling", I wish I had something like that but with women
Kek. I mean, it's the proper way to do it, right? Like I'm in my early 20s so I don't want to start hag barking about people needing to do this and that "properly", but I feel like the whole gay flag everywhere shtick is so tacky and immature. Lesbian themes have existed in art for centuries, and almost all of it is beautiful, why on earth are people NOT buying this stuff if they want gay themes houses?>>186071>>186070
Can I just say I love these suggestions? Very elegant, and I can totally see thise white wall hangings above a table decorated with light purple or rich pink flowers. It would be so feminine and just a fuckinf delight to have set up
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Guilty of samefagging twice now, but I threw this together. These are art pieces I really want prints of. These, in my opinion, are far more comfortable and elegant than a fagflag
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Maybe Klimt stuff that isn't The Kiss? This painting is literally called Water Serpents (Girlfriends). He paints a kind of reverence for women that I vibe with. >>186047
I unironically love this but probably on a mug, not the wall lmao
It's lovely anon, I love the pegasi kek. Those dresses at the bottom look uncomfortable to wear.>>186085
absolutely hate flag shit, especially when worn as a cape and even more so when it's dumb shit like asexy pride and the asexies feel so brave for coming out as spergs. pins and stuff are alright, but i'd prefer a double venus symbol over a flag. that's just my personal preference though. i do like >>186034
's energy about the labrys flag too.
honestly the least people could do is iron their cheap flags after ripping them out of the aliexpress plastic wrapper.
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Really love the current topic. If anyone prefers a more modern style in their art decor I recommend Tamara de Lempicka. She was bisexual and clearly appreciated the female form. All I have is a cheap little postcard set of her artworks, though. I'd love to have some high quality archival prints to frame and hang in the future. Picrel is a collection of a few of my faves of hers
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I put together some paintings others may like!
La Confidence by Elizabeth Jane Gardner
Promenade Médievale by Jacques Clement Wagrez
Giornata di Pioggia by Gaetano Bellei
L'Inverno by Edouard Bisson
The Silence You Hold Between Us by Soey Milk
A Thorn Amidst Roses by James Sant
Two Fairies Embracing by Hans Zatzka
Der Liebesbrief by Hans Makart
Sous les Tonnelles by Louis Icart
Does anyone know of unusual lesbian themed photography compositions, a little bit like the ones created by Jaun Paul Gaude using Grace Jones as the model? >>186149>>186121
These are stunning. I especially love rice colours in art, so these Lempicka pieces are really doing it for me. I'm actually gonna try and find some good quality art prints to buy online
People telling you to avoid bisexuals, the largest dating pool, just so you don't run into one with dick obsession are so off base. Cool yeah hold out only for a lesbian and maybe she'll be one of the ones that contribute to our weirdly prevalent domestic abuse statistics! Oh wait, that's no good. You can't discount people expecting them to turn out to be the shittiest possible incarnation of their identity group. With lesbians as you can see, avoid the ones with brainrot that gave you advice in this thread. They're incel adjacent, entirely bitter. With bisexuals avoid ones that are dick crazy, they will
let you know very early on and you will have a way out. They can't shut up about men and will talk about them at length.
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Back on topic: I bought a print of picrel a while ago. It means a lot to me because it was the first picture of a butch woman I saw in media, let alone a butch woman being intimate with another woman. I've not yet hung it up on a wall but it's motivation for me to finally settle down as I've moved about non-stop since I was like 15. I'm currently looking for my first house to actually settle
into and I can't wait to get more lesbian art like some of the pictures shared in this thread.>>186189
Ah, thanks. I might've been thinking of another survey that mentioned violence in cohabitation but yeah, it ain't stopped people thinking we're all violent yet.
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So, anyways, brushing aside the bisexual retard shitting up the thread because we revoked her LGBT card for just being in the category who just pretends to like women because men think it's hot, look at these cute plant pots from the plant addiction thread. I think they fit nicely with the subtle lesbian art for the house
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Imagine building a sexual identity that panders to mens who fetishize lesbians and getting mad at lesbians for actually having good penetrative sex
Anyway, heres the tits pot
It's almost as if women…
Wait, hold on…
As if women… women have asses
Those are lovely anon.I want a stylish medieval fairy tale romance like in the second pic.
WEE WOO WEE WOO>>186228
Thank you so much! I just ordered one of each. Can't wait to give them to her, we are gonna have the best damn tastefully dykey house ever. All we need now is a Subaru.
Hmm ok I'll let this one go but if you date a short haired woman I'll start poking around again and accuse you of secretly being straight, ok? >>186231
You know I'm joking?
I hope so! She does love her kooky and different pots so this should go down well. I'm not into plants myself (because I'm too forgetful to keep them alive kek) but I definitely see the appeal in collecting plant paraphernalia. It's like crack.>>186236
No problem, buddy. It does get tough when people are shitting up the thread. I'm an autist myself so I say it with love. ♥
The clitoris and g spot are two seperate body parts. If you don't know that, then you're worse than a bisexual woman who doesn't understand same sex attraction, you're a male wondering why we don't fuck you.
WEE WOO WEE WOO moid detected
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Ntayrt, but they're not seperate body parts. Vaginal penetration simply stimulates the internal parts of the clitoris.
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Just to confuse that anon even more
I made an ugly laugh at this nonny>>186247
She's currently in /ot/ having a meltdown over lesbians ITT being gatekeeping incels who scream "if you don’t want to suck my clit then you are a confirmed heterosexual" (her words). At this point it has to be an unhinged troon.
Gosh, the only thing I can think of is the "butch nod". Obviously doesn't apply to you and even that is a dying tradition. Lesbians seem to have lost our ways of communication. Gay guys have quite a few ways of subtly putting themselves out there but we have nothing beyond being obviously butch or badges. I hope you find something, nonny
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kek I've done that without knowing it was a thing. Gay men seem to have a system of signals that still works for them today. Tell me, elder lesbian anon, what are the ancient ways of lesbo communication?
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That scene in Twilight where Edward walks into the cafeteria for the first time but you're all Bella and I'm Edward in this outfit I made
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, let's get this LGBT (lesbian girl broccoli time) wedding going
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"Monocles were popular in lesbian communities in the 1920s because fashions that denoted “daring,” “rebellion,” or the reclamation of masculine garments were generally popular attire among lesbians."
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It's the size of my arm and made of blue jelly…I wouldn't get too freaked out by it's 'realism' lol. Actually the fact that it's jelly and therefore porous is more offputting than anything else.
This is muh dong. The head shape has its pros
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I just use what feels good. It's not like I sit back and look at it much. Nearly bought a cool looking rainbow themed toy lately but then I realized I was picking design over performance so didn't get it in the end.
Imagine going back in time and showing a Suffragette the genderfluid (I think
that's what the flag is for?) butt plug and explaining that the colour scheme has been stolen by a bunch of weirdos and yes, people shove that up their ass.
Finally, someone who understands. Realistic dildos don't work for me at all. I need
artificial colours and shapes to better fit my pussy because a realistic penis just turns me off
AYRT, even though I'm exclusively a top, if I looked down and saw a realistic dong between my legs it would kill the mood for me. >>186399
I've had quite a few women not understand it before because I'm not the one receiving it. They just acted like I was being a stick in the mud, instead of viewing me as an actual human being with boundaries.
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Found this yesterday and didn't know which thread to dump it in.
Looking for an unrealistic sex toy?.. need some clit sucking, tail fuckin rodent themed goodness in your life? Unspoilered cos it's just a cute horny squirrel
You know that plug has been up all 17 of the relationships assholes>>186430
I have 3 dogs but I'm starting to grow vegetables. I live in the suburb of a capital city in Europe, so a full on farm isn't an option for me, but my back garden has space for ground vegetables and my porch is an adequate greenhouse I guess
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Had my first meeting with a wedding planner today and things are now officially in motion. If I can make it, then you all can. Godspeed, ladies. I love all you anonymous bitches. ♥
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grats nonni–i mean BITCH
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! Are you planning a more traditional wedding ceremony or something different? Tux or dress?
God I wish that were me
Thank you! I think the ceremony is quite traditional in the sense that it's a lowkey ceremony mostly focused on close family. We're having it outdoors in a wooded area as we're both big fans of ceremonies surrounded by nature. I'm gonna wear a suit and my fiancée will wear a dress (we are the heteronormative lesbians the troons warned you about), ngl I'm almost as hyped about getting my own custom made suit as I am about getting married lmao.>>186468>>186501>>186510
Thank you so much, ladies! ♥
>>186539>we are the heteronormative lesbians the troons warned you about
What kind of suit are you planning on wearing nonita?
Congrats anon to you and your wife! And keep on being based, troons screeching about muh heteronormative lesbians can die mad about it.
On a related note, where exactly did they get this retarded "heteronormative gay couples are regressive and not ~real gay~" narrative? I've seen it around so much and it's almost exclusively meant to shit on the butch/femme dynamic and I don't get it.
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nonnies, i am so pathetic and i hate that i fell for the same shit non stop
>date girl 4 years and some more
>propose to her
>slowly realize she's been cheating on me for at least three months
>completely destroyed, thought she was my soulmate
>try moving on, meeting new people
>every couple of months ex gf contacts me for stuff
>"hey anon, i just wanted to let you know i love you and if you ever need me we can talk"
>i am weak and catch up with her every few months… she says its okay, "cause we love each other as friends". i tell myself that too.
>she gets cheated on by the girl she cheated on me with wow fucking shocker
>she shortly gets with me four months later
>my idiot ass:
>"god this is it, i feel in love again… i am so happy. god i am so glad i never cut her out off my life completely. my best friend was wrong. this is what is meant to be. she is my soulmate ive always known…"
>on march she left me and immediately got back together with the cheating girl again
>in a few months its going to be 3 years since we originally first broke up
>we lasted 4 years
>and its been 3 years…
>how low can i fucking be?
>why am i fucking crying
god, i feel so stupid. when it ended my best friend said i needed to cut her out of my life entirely cause she was a liar and manipulative. and i didnt cause i still had feelings. look at me now, still thinking about someone who doesnt love me and texts me every time she fights her gf to feel better about herself. i just want someone to actually care for me. bumbble and tinder didnt really work on me and everything is closed in my city. i am so alone and i am literally in tears thinking about all of this again, i just want her out of my life, for real this time, and to find someone who actually fucking cares, jfc.
yes i have not spoken to her since march but it still feels too recent, ive been in and out of love of someone for seven years and they stopped having feelings for me after like the third year… they just refused to leave and i couldnt let them go… but now i finally did. and i am so alone and it feels so late
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That’s a win for all of us. I hope you both have a happy healthy marriage!
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I keep trying to not hate religious people but they've been such a huge part of my misery. I can't be who I want to be or love who I want to love and everyday I have to deal with shitty homophobia and trad retards. My brother won't even speak to me or let me see my niece and nephew because I'm an evil atheist dyke trying to corrupt their perfect little nuclear family. I hate living in this stupid ass country. I just want this covid shit to be over soon so I can get the fuck out. I want to get a girlfriend and stop being so lonely. I want to actually go on a date with a woman and not fear being outed, harassed in the streets, and fired from my job. I'm so fucking done with this tired ass shit.
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This one? Portrait of the sisters Malvina Anny Louise and Hilda Sophie Charlotte Reventlow by August Heinrich Georg Schiott
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Cute beachy lesbians gif
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Fellow curvy-and-hating-it anon here, I felt the same way as you for most of my life after puberty, sometimes still do on a bad day. For me it started with scrote attention as well as my family who loves to comment on people's bodies. My hips and breasts developing brought a lot of unwanted male attention and that made me resent my body a lot. I ended up not being able to see my body for what it was, instead saw it through disgusting male eyes almost. I didn't want to perceive that perspective ergo I didn't want my body. It helped me to frame my body as my tool
and not someone else's anything
. Your body exists for you to experience life with. I hope you can grow to see your body in a way that serves you instead of making you upset. Don't let anyone trans you btw, I've had people try to tell me I'm actually a man inside before.
Thank you for your words. I think I might also suffer from these feelings because how I was brought up and the fact that I turned to sex work because of financial despair a few years ago. I don't do that anymore, haven't done since I met my girlfriend. She honestly saved me - we've been together for four years and she would never let me go back to sex work. She has been providing for us both when I haven't been able to. And there's something really, really healing about being loved like that. I couldn't be more grateful for her and for love like this.
I've also been told that I'm trans, which I 100% am not. I just struggle with body image. When I was a little girl, I used to get anxiety attacks about the thought of having to have children when I grow up. I cried and told my mom that I don't want to have kids and she always just responded with a really pushy "you will change your mind eventually" which made my anxiety eevn worse. My family isn't even religious or anything. I remember barely hitting puberty when I was told that I'm "soon going to be a woman" and it made me really anxious. I was literally just a child, and the whole "young woman"-thing being pushed onto me just felt alienating, weird and pushy.
When I was 14 years old my grandmother told me that I look awfully fat, which was absolutely not true. I started to lose weight and developed anorexia which turned to bulimia which I still suffer from, just not every day.
It's no wonder I feel like this now that I think about it. and no wonder so many young lesbians today feel like they hate their bodies or that they'd rather be men. The whole image of womanhood that is pushed to us even as children is very narrow, sexist, sexualized and unrealistic. I hate it.
I feel you anon, though I live in a Muslim majority country. I wouldn't dare ever come out to anyone in my family, the only people I've told are close friends who I know aren't very religious/are atheists. I can't wait to gtfo.>>186740
It's so fucked up when you think about it. They genuinely believe that people will be tortured for eternity for the most harmless things. The description of hell in Islam is horrifying, I remember having nightmares about it when I was as young as 7. It's one of the main reasons I left that cult.
Kinda related to >>186739
I was quite disheartened recently when I found out that a lot of exmuslims in my country still think that homosexuality is unnatural/disgusting. Is it because the indoctrination hasn't been fully washed away or do straight people just dislike homosexuality by default?
I'm so happy to read that your girlfriend is supporting you so staunchly. It's extremely encouraging to hear positive accounts like that.
The story of your family members making shitty remarks and pushing the heteronormative idea of womanhood sounds so alike mine. I've tried to make peace with it but I keep noticing ways in which my parents took for granted that I'd marry a man and have children (two things I detest) and never once stopped to question themselves, ask themselves whether I actually want those things. The possibility of having a child that is gay or childless did not cross their minds at all. That their remarks would then do psychological damage to a divergent child did not cross their minds. I struggle with accepting that I have to either level with them and get them to realize their thoughtlessness or just keep them at arm's length. I want to let them in more since they're not completely bigoted, they are just not on the same page as me. They'd accept me being gay but I want more from them. What more do I want? It's irrational entirely. I want child me to not go through what she did. It's not possible to take it back, that makes their "crime" worse to me. They can never undo the damage they did.>>186738
Ah yes, fear of women fueled by girls that i was into rejecting me from their social groups. Does not go away in adulthood either, it's just coded into my mind now, that women cannot and will not accept me. Even worse with the knowledge that sexualization feels horrible when unwanted, and I'm aware of my own interest in women which makes me feel like a predator. Etc etc etc classic gay guilt shit.
Hi, it’s me, Soon-to-Be-Postulant Nun Anon. I’m so sorry for the things the church has done to you. I could recite the church’s canon law stance (which is that no, gays and lesbians aren’t going to hell, even a sexually active lesbian can be a Catholic in good standing if you confess after you have sex, even under the strictest and most conservative interpretations) but it can never undo the harm that it’s caused, nor take away the damage its left in its wake.
At its cruelest, this is still the only world we have, and there’s no ethical or moral reason to decide to make the world worse for some people because we think they’re “habitual sinners” or whatever BS reason the more conservative Catholics give. It’s not exactly Christlike to tell women that they’re gonna rot in hell because they don’t want to touch a dong.
(Also, I’m not boning any other nuns. Most of them are well over 80 and I have never had a thing for GILFs. That said, there are A LOT of celibate lesbians in religious life. Like, I’ve met more lesbians in convents than I did at gay bars.)
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>>174105>favourite lesbian media?
But I'm a Cheerleader is my favourite lesbian movie of all time. Also I'm pretty sure Bend it Like Beckham made me gay, whoever wrote the script is a fucking coward because they were clearly in love. I can't think of any other lesbian movies I've enjoyed though, everything else is either too sad or too oversexualized.
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Came home to find my fiancée surrounded by vitamin bottles. She sat me down and explained what they're all for and told me she's "grinding xp" ready for when we start trying for a baby. It's a while off yet as we want to get married first and we gotta browse through more sperm bank catalogues but I'm so happy. Like, can't-even-put-it-into-words kinda happy.
I'm genuinely curious why you moved there, especially if it makes you uncomfortable? I'm not trying to be rude, I think your feelings are totally valid
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mfw gf gets me a promise ring
im never taking it off
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Have you ever read something that isn't yuri but feels better than yuri? I read this one-shot called 1-day idol, it's about two women who go viral after a trip to Taiwan. They are so wholesome. I can see them growing old together and traveling with each other for the rest of their lives.
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realized there's a cis lesbian general on /lgbt/. weird… for some reason I assumed there wouldn't be enough lesbian women on 4chan for this kind of thing
I wanted to say I understand how you feel - in fact I feel very similar. So you are not alone, even though we will never meet each other. While the only visible gay representation are people who are out, have their shit together and are happy, it is calming to know that there like me and you out there <3 Feelings of isolation have made me feel quite bitter, especially towards other gays because I doņ't think they have any compassion towards self-hating gays. But I understand you and I have also cried many time about wanting to be normal, to be at least bi, to live a normal life, to not have this huge thing looming over me and demanding to uproot myself and change my life for it, so that i least have a tiny chance at being like everyone else around me
Sorry, I couldn't me much help or give any advice. I am struggling myself
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God same here anon. I don’t know what to do..
>>188779>i have considered some types of therapy conversion or just celibacy
Me as well. I have been thinking about celibacy and feel sad that I am not religious and can't go full Jesus' Bride. I think when you are religious, if you dedicate that part of you to god, there can be comfort in all the pain. Without it, you are just random celibate who struggles on their own>>188797>>188808
Tbh, I feel that lesbians & gays have a very different views on closeted people. I will preface saying that lesbians are a lot more understanding and there is less of a pressure to be completely out. As far as gay men go…if you are in a bad headspace, do not go to them for encouragement lol all I've seen is them saying how closeted gays are flushing their years down the drain and general complete lack of compassion
I'll also say that lgbt community is a shit place for finding support. All the positive PR is just marketing
>>188922>gay men and women have different views on closeted people
And yeah, I wouldn't go to anyone but a lesbian for support on my sexuality, especially on closetedness. The trauma of being a woman in this world is amplified immensely by being gay on top of it.
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Real or larp?
This is without a doubt a man larping his sex with lesbian fantasy. >He had sex with me
Why not "we had sex" or "I had sex with him?" This sounds like a male describing sex with a woman as assisted masturbation, or a woman describing herself being sexually assaulted.>I appreciated (list of sex acts) a lot
Talking up the male as a great guy and appreciating what a gift he gave her by fucking her and being fairly nice while doing it? Only a man thinks the bare minimum is brag worthy. He lists mundane things such as the places he kissed her and telling her it feels good as good boy points because it runs counter to his pornsick idea of 'normal' (abusive
) sex.>Brushing my hair
This phrase implies use of a hair brush. Could be ESL, but probably a scrote who has never had long hair and is too retarded to know the difference between brushing hair and stroking it or brushing it out of one's face.>It felt a little weird but I loved how he treated me and didn't hate it… I was really happy I got to experience it with him.
If you're a lesbian this is not how you describe sex with a male.>Female friend is worried she hurt his feelings by letting him fuck her
Only a man would twist this scenario into "she led me on."
God knows if it's real or not but anyone can buy a dual density dildo and essentially get the same feeling a dick would give you. I think men are way more inclined to think dicks and dildos feel so different on our end…sensation wise they often just don't. If you're not even attracted to men and if you have access to toys then you're not missing out on anything there.
I mean I've been there myself (had a very 'meh' ONS with a gay guy years ago) There's no mystery there to uncover, sex without attraction is meh and the physical sensation isn't vastly different from a toy. All very underwhelming but at least I didn't find myself thanking him and fretting about his feelings afterwards.
Yeah, I was deep in the closet and married to my male best friend. We had a dead bedroom besides the rare few times a year where I'd let myself essentially be raped. He did not know what was going on at all and I was too cowardly to tell him the truth. Losing financial stability and my best friend was too scary. Anyway what woke me up was falling for a woman (who knew I was married and identified as bi at the time) who reciprocated my feelings. But the way I felt for her was so different from what I was conditioned to feel all these years. Biggest giveaway was I wanted to fuck her. I had never actually wanted to fuck a male I supposedly fell for before. Ever.
The woman and I never ended up getting together but she did become the catalyst for my divorce and life a a lesbian. We had both agreed that we would not cheat so nothing happened when I fell for her at the start, just goes against my principles.
I've always had a fixation on women and wanted to be the male cartoon/fiction characters in the things I watched. I've gotten in trouble for being too touchy with a female friend as a kid and had some lesbian encounters with my peers in school but never thought much of it because I was "bi" so I dismissed it. When I was old enough to fall in love I was already socially an outcast from the female friend groups due to difference in hobbies (I'm not hella old but where I'm from women my age didn't have nerdy hobbies and didn't dress alt). So that lead to being around men a lot more and being accepted a bit more by them. Of course they start having crushes and I go with it. Some shit like that.>>189053
Yes I thought I was asexual as well.>>189009
Could be real only because her best friend is male and with male best friends you are the therapist, mother, part time gf. I bet she's conditioned to obsess over his wellbeing in every aspect over hers.
You sound a lot like me <.<
I've been celibate for almost 3 years now and I have this intuition that I'm going to have a lesbian flowering. I have a lot of internalized misogyny and was worried about not having kids and if that would mean my mother would not accept me. I'm getting older now though and really starting to be ok with the idea.
NTA but this happens a lot in any place whose dominant culture socializes men to expect women to take care of them, e.g. the Southern US. As someone who got sucked into that dynamic when I was younger, I didn't even realize what I was doing til my family and some friends pointed out I was wasting time and energy on male friends who weren't doing anywhere near as much shit for me as I was for them. If you're concerned about someone you're dating having parasitic male friends like that, I'd gently ask her what she's really getting out of these friendships and how they make her feel. Usually, they know they're getting a raw deal but they stay out of obligation or a fear that their friend will "get worse" without their influence, aka typical toxic
I relate anon… I dated a guy for 5 years who basically raped me weekly. Only dated him out of obligation and low self esteem. I wasn't into men but that didn't compute - I thought I was asexual or broken. He would basically whine until I gave him sex. Basically he used my body to masturbate with. I would just lay there and wait for it to be over and I would usually cry afterwards, and he didn't care. Before I dumped him, he would masturbate in bed beside me if I said no, and otherwise would pout and be an incredible piece of shit.
I have a girlfriend now and it's so different. She's so much more emotionally intelligent. I won't ever be with a man again. I pity straight women. I don't think there's a man in the world who can get women the way lesbians get each other.
With my ex husband he would make do with masturbation (not in front of me out of spite like your scrote, jfc)since I made it pretty clear I had no interest in having sex with him but eventually he would always hit a point where he'd start getting snappy, visibly depressed, in general really shitty to be around. I'd let him use me and he'd suddenly become extremely loving and patient again. Perhaps the chemicals released after orgasm had to do with it. Unspoken entirely, we just did this song and dance for years. He did not know he had been doing this the entire time too, the slowly growing cold with me until I fucked him. It was only me that was aware. The relationship was a mess, a platonic friendship I valued that turned into me exchanging my body a few times a year for financial and emotional support.
And yeah, I pity straight women immensely. They will never ever know true companionship.>>189128
I'm so tired of people over the age of 20 talking about TikTok. It's not meant for us at all, let the kids have their thing.
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Baby gay here, has anyone noticed a shift in lesbian stereotypes over the years, especially in the wlw scene? I dunno something feels different, like an emphasis on youth. Maybe because people are able to be open and come out earlier in life?
>>189030>Only a man thinks the bare minimum is brag worthy. He lists mundane things such as the places he kissed her and telling her it feels good as good boy points because it runs counter to his pornsick idea of 'normal' (abusive) sex.
This is exactly what gave away the larp to me. Oh wow a man kissed me during sex and played with my tits, what an amazing lover. Didn't even attempt to choke me once! I honestly feel bad for straight women.>>189071
This is so sad anon, I can't imagine how horrible it would be to be married to someone you really don't love or feel physical attraction towards.>>189454
It's because the sexualization of lesbians has really kicked into gear during the last few years and now the only "real" lesbians are young, beautiful, ultrafeminine schoolgirls and instathots. For example you see AGP transbians constantly demonizing older women and they're currently put in the position of being the spokespeople for Lesbian inc. I'm not even trying to GCsperg/derail here, it's just sincerely a gigantic factor in how the shift happened and where it went.
Dedicate yourself to 2D, nonny
. At least it won't troon out on you. t. another 30yo foreveralone lesbian
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My covid vaccine was administered by a really cute woman today. We were both wearing figaro chains as bracelets… Was it meant to be? I love crushing on random strangers for a couple days.
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Sonoya Mizuno, love ha
iktf, earlier this week at the gym i kept making eye contact with this incredibly cute girl while she was benching and part of me is convinced it was intentional
>tfw no energetic muscle gf who spots you while you squat
why even live
Ex /clg/ poster here, most of us have long abandoned the thread that's now just low level shitposting (and most posters left aren't even lesbians). We're all in the discord.>>188719
We called it "cis" because the old lesbian general was infested with trannies, it was merely to differentiate them. Not that it keeps them away, but yeah. We don't like them.
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Does anyone feel extreme pressure to be better than men at sex? How to cope with it? I'm not a virgin nor a gold star but I'm clumsy and anxious. I'm so scared anyone with experience will think I'm useless and a fake…
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I'd love me a punk/alt gf not gonna lie, especially if her hair looks a bit like picrel. The shaved side does things to me for some reason.
I'm not super into the alt look myself but she's really pretty!
Girly girls are more my thing ig? I don't want to say cottagecore lesbian but close
Nta but I've never seen a cottagecore lesbian in my life
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I like to wear classic style, lots of dresses, does this mean I scare off the ladies by looking too normie? Is being into vintage weird and homo enough? kek
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Went on a first date, we ended up hanging out for 12 hours and I have never felt happier. I haven't been a lesbian for very long (thank you internalized homophobia) but everything just felt right going out with her. Anyone else go on dates recently, be it with someone new or a regular partner? What was the cutest thing that happened on your date? I think the cutest thing that happened on our date was I picked a flower for her and she kept it the entire day as a memento, it gave me warm fuzzies.
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Vintage fashion makes some sort of gaydar go off for me. I've met more bi or lesbian vintage fashion aficionados than straight ones. Plus open air cinema, getting milkshakes + burger at retro diner and going to an electro swing night is usually a safe bet for a date.
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This explains a lot. As much as I dressed “girly” when I was a tween/kid. It was never trendy pieces of clothing that’d I see normie made-up girls wear; I myself was never too fond of makeup. I mix-matched “garish” colors and wore flowery or “old women” patterns. I wore all sorts of flowy, frilly mid-height skirts and dresses. I have only recently realized that, I was just dressing for myself and for friendly weirdo girls who’d make small compliments on my wacky accessories hehe win win.
! Then I went through my awkward teenage jeans + t-shirt phase kek.>immuh revert back to my roots and dress like picrel as I grow older.
Well one time on her insta story she said she was "queer" though I guess that doesn't really mean anything. Also her interactions with Cathy Hay it felt like there was something between them. But i guess maybe i am just reading way too much into it lol.>>190585
Wow i didnt know that, ive been following her for a few years now and ive never seen her mention a man.
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Taking a stroll around town and I’m sitting on a bench. I just saw this chick who’s a bit above average height with a long-ish torso—but to my surprise her legs weren't stumpy. I think she had a thigh gap but her legs weren’t skinny—they were fit but not THICK or SLIM. A weird Goldilocks zone I’ve never seen before that is really appealing. Her bum wasn’t dramatically plump but it was not flat. Oh my god I can’t believe I’m detailing this the way I am lol sorry anons.
I’m voicing this because I don’t really favor any body type. But idk her proportions were so striking to me. And I could STARE at her for hours, but she was walking away with her mates. :( I only have a 5 second memory of her looping over and over and I want her to run back and scissorhead me
Haha and just now I saw a lady bicycling with a small pooch in her basket.
t. woman who feels superior for fucking men
it's not bait you retard
>>190939>What's next, you are going to call us privileged?
yeah i've seen people say this
>Too ugly and retarded to be fucked by men?
seen people say this too even though there's literally no such thing. men will literally fuck dogs and children
>How about you get out of the tumblr woke crowd echo chamber that hates all women that weren't fucked by men and see that gold stars aren't oppressing anyone? Grow up, it's obvious your only gs exposure have been through queer crowd
Yeah, this. 9/10 times when Gold Stars are brought up it's them being shat on. We don't have any advantage over other lesbians, we're not fucking oppressors. On the contrary we usually get more
shit for it because "how do you know if you haven't slept with a man?!?!?!"
is a VERY pervasive line of thought, even within the damn lesbian community itself. Gotta love the "too ugly for men" line though, like they wouldn't fuck a hot pocket fresh out the microwave if there wasn't other people around to judge them for it.
Microlabels don't matter. You won't care about it at 40 years old, so why stress yourself about it now and over other's perception of your fucking sex life. Fucking grow up. love you
There really aren't inherently superior. If there bi like me it's Ehh, but I just feel bad for the lesbians that either dated or fucked men because they didn't know better/ didn't really know what lesbian was outside of a abstract porny concept or felt pressure to do out of conformity. If the lesbian never felt pressured or didn't cave in, good for em.
Though I sometimes do low-key wonder if some of those gold stars are just insecure girls who are trying to prove their "queerness", but like I said I'm alright with the ones that don't assume superiority or judge women for their experiences too bad. Because we literally already have that in the hetero world so let's cut that bullshit down shall we?
by realizing that comphet and dating men because of it suck
sure you can date a man and do all the stuff you described, but do you really want to put up with some loud, annoying guy who won't ever understand the feelings you're talking about, or why you can't seem to return his affections? as fun and justified as it is to bag on scrotes and say they deserve to be used and shit, if he really is the type of person who'd be fine with that arrangement as long as he gets to be with you then it wouldn't be fair to him at all. more importantly, does dating a guy with whom you can't engage sexually while being more attracted to the women you see online, in media, and on the street sound like a good time to you?
Your post was a wild ride but honestly exactly the issue I struggle with. When I meet a man who doesn't make me gag I'm still hopeful that maybe I could be attracted to him and be normal
but the thought of being physically or emotionally intimate with a man is horrifying and kills my interest instantly.
> it’s just a big stupid cope that I use from time to time to avoid thinking about how I’ll never find a girl to date who isn’t a bihet or a tranny or uses they/them pronouns or is just obnoxiously liberal and so waking up everyday and feeling like the world hates me because of all the lesbophobia in society as well as LGBT spaces is all for nothing so I might as well just live a lie and be with a man instead.
Hits hard, anon, hits hard. As another one who will probably never overcome her internalized homophobia and the fear of how the society and even the lgbt circles support us and will live in celibacy for the rest of her days due to this, I understand completely.
Seconding the binding caution, even sports bras that are too small are dicey. I've gotten broader in my lats since I started training more frequently and now my sports bras that fit when I was peak skelly literally suffocate me. Not wearing a bra gives me a more androgynous silhouette in shirts anyway, and I recommend ditching them in general because fuck bras. Also, I've seen a lot of butch/gnc positivity on radblr, so presenting as an androgynous or masculine woman who is emphatically not a fakeboi might attract some of the more based lesbians if that interests you.
Unrelatedly, why in fuck is it so hard to talk to other lesbeans? Literally every single time I've tried talking to a girl I'm interested in I seem to fuck it up so bad they want nothing to do with me afterwards. Either I just have rotten luck and go after really busy people, or I've been projecting skeevy vibes without even realizing this whole time. Obviously no one has any obligation to keep talking to me and I've made peace with "the ones that got away", but I just really wish I knew what I've been doing wrong.
As someone who binds a lot for gnc aesthetics I doubt wearing a comfortable, well-constructed binder every now and then
does permanent damage. Troons who have had their binders fuck up their chest have usually had an ill-fitting, cheap one (or even bandages) they wore every day around the clock with no breaks, even while sleeping. If you keep smart about it and only wear it every now and then (i.e. not every day) it's not going to be damaging. Depends on your breast size though, for smaller tits you get away with longer wearing times and with bigger ones it's naturally riskier. The worst side effect is usually body acne since your skin doesn't have any room to breathe under a binder.
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A few old timey wlw photos for my fellow lez nonnas, have a great gay day!
NTA but this is something lesbians who grew up in a homophobic environment have to deal with. You've been indoctrinated with heteronormativity, having to be available to men and "gay people bad" since birth and never had a support network for your sexuality, why is it so outlandish for you to have intrusive thoughts like "maybe I could finally be normal and allow a man to take advantage of me even though I hate it and don't feel attracted to them"?
It boils me inside that discussion about something so reoccurring is killed immediately because women who were dealt better cards and allowed to accept their homosexuality can go "ew get out bihet" even to someone who's a textbook defined goldstar. I've only dated women, only been with women, I don't fantasize about men, I find them increasingly repulsive but never having the chance to really come to terms with being seen as a freak in everyone's eyes and even in the current age lesbians being lowkey pressured to transition and mutilate their bodies I have my moments of wishing I was straight so my life would be so, so much easier. It's important that people can speak up about this because otherwise they'll go "Oh I guess I'm not a lesbian then, time to go dead bedroom with a husband I don't love but maybe I'll learn since I'm actually bi!". >>191541
Really sounds like you're projecting or you're underage, anon.
Can we stop being so hostile towards bisexual women? It's autistic. Literally just giving the neighborhood bisperg free ammunition at this point. >>191561
This. I also grew up in a third world shithole and I 100% understand the pressure to date men when you've been indoctrinated into doing so for your entire life. Not everyone is a late bloomer of course but we should be respectful to those trying to figure it out. Admittedly anon might be better off in the questioning thread though.
I'm straight so I might cop a ban just for posting this here but whatever, I'll take it. I used to question my sexuality too, thought I might be bi or gay even, until I realized that I only feel fulfilled from being with a man and was just having a hard time accepting how awful most men are. the harsh reality is that if you can imagine any life with a man, even without being penetrated, you are almost definitely not lesbian. I swear every time I scroll past this thread there's another post going "I've dated a bunch of guys, but am I lesbian??" I made the same mistake of bothering lesbians about it when I was having my doubts, but the reality is that it isn't lesbians' responsibility to validate us, and if you have to grapple with whether you might
be gay that hard, you are probably not gay. besides, there's already a questioning thread for that kind of discussion. lesbians are a rather small portion of the population and they have already been pushed out of most online lesbian spaces and already face enough other challenges in life, and no they're not being unreasonable for being annoyed with constantly being hounded by straight/bi women to be validated by them. can we just let them have this ONE thread to themselves PLEASE.
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Thank you for being the first good straight woman to ever post in the lesbian general. Please accept this award on behalf of the community.
>>191755>None of the anons above are talking about questioning, being attracted to men or wanting to be with men>>191308
said that her "sheer disgust of penis is the only thing holding me back from actually pursuing men", not that she isn't attracted to them or doesn't want to be with them. if she was actually a lesbian it would be the fact that she's only attracted to women that's holding her back from pursuing men.
but yeah, we're the ones with reading comprehension problems.
>>191755>“Oh this guy is good looking and he seems sweet and he makes me laugh, why don’t I try and date him? He can just sing me songs and kiss my forehead and when we have sex he can just go down on me and nothing else”>sheer disgust of penis is the only thing holding me back from actually pursuing men
kek everything >>191659
is 100% fact go to the appropriate thread lesbians obviously don't want to read your millionth explicit fanfic about a man regardless of the sob story behind it
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Is-is the biposting infighting done? Can we go back to posting wholesome lesbian media?
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>>191791>wholesome lesbian media?
Has anyone watched Gentleman Jack? I liked it a lot and am in love with Anne Lister.
I've also been rewatching The L Word and it holds up pretty well. I enjoy it more now than I did in high school honesty. It's extremely refreshing to watch the Lisa episode in current year and have him be a joke character.
i'm so sorry this happened to you, nonny
. how old is your kid? maybe you can go back into the scene once he or she is older.
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It’s time to yearn! I am excited to be finally at a point in my life I’m not fighting being a lesbian. I’m not young and no contact with my family where I feel I need to find someone in their vision of who I would be with iykwim, and I’m not quite at the age where I feel a rush to settle down and find the perfect match right away personally. A sweet spot if you will! I am excited for an adventurous chapter in my life of being honest and kind to myself and in turn pursuing the relationships I desire seeking out other women to date is both scary and exciting, I feel selfish desiring & seeking a partnership with another woman but I’m done allowing that fear to stop me from likely necessary rejection and subsequent self acceptance. I hope I meet a woman who is on my frequency and who I can share the life I’m building with. If a younger me saw me today, living not only out of the closet but out of my own head, she would cry. I would have done anything to have someone like the person I have grown and furled myself to be to tell myself growing up, “it’s ok and this is temporary, you will gain your independence and you will not feel ashamed for the way you are, you were not meant to and I’m sorry you were discouraged from yourself”. thanks for reading if you did
I know this post is a few days old, but is it possible you're having intrusive thoughts? all this "what if?" sounds … similar to a kind of OCD with intrusive thoughts. Where you keep thinking of things that might or could happen, and you can't really stop it even if it's bothering you. idk I admit what you described is not the common type of thoughts people describe having, but that doesn't mean much.
I can't comment on your sexuality either way (still figuring out whether I even have one). But there are techniques for dealing with intrusive thoughts if you're struggling with that.
Please don't "let" anyone do anything to you. That's not how a relationship should be.
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Anyone here seen "Feel Good"? I'm thinking of checking it out.
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Yeah I guess the writer/actor actually doesn't identify as lesbian, she "doesn't do labels". Exhausting but I get it. I still loved the show. Lava is
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I usually only lurk, but I need somewhere anonymous to vent. My ex girlfriend has been villainizing me terribly on social media even though she was the dumper and our relationship was comfy and with 0 conflict until the very first conflict at the end which was caused by communication issues over something important to me (she was conflict avoidant type, I'm bad at expressing feelings type). I found out about this 2 days ago and I feel so hurt and anxious about this. She has dehumanized me, posted a vulnerable text I had sent (to ridicule me with her followers?) and is creating this narrative like if I was a terrible and crazy person. The worst one was a post about how her therapist said "I sound like the worst", and that just broke me. I don't know what to make of this.
I considered maybe I'm actually crazy and unaware? But to be honest, she's never had anything nice to say about any of her exes and has made posts saying that she has only dated unhinged women because of her low self-esteem.
This is actually making me terrified of dating again because I feel so blindsided and never expected this of her. I keep thinking what could I have done to make her hate me this much, but I'm coming up blank. She's met my best friend and parents and they're coming up blank too.
In sorry anon. That must really hurt especially when there's no obvious catalyst. Heart goes out to you.
She sounds really insecure and is using your relationship as narc supply to gas herself to the utopia she thinks she deserves because 'shes not the confrontational partner'.
Usually they are the most toxic
because they are blind to their own shit behavior.
But private texts shouldn't be on blast… That's fucked up and I hope you find justice/peace
I feel like a shitty person because I missed her so much and I had written to her. After being ignored, I found her personal blog like some disgusting stalker (I don't know if it changes anything, but it only took 2 seconds after typing her two biggest interested in the search bar). I found out that she had been writing these things about me not too long after we broke up.
She'd tell me how I made her feel safe and loved before, and now this. My brain goes back and forth between "maybe I am a monster" and just being hurt and upset about it.
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Matched a girl on tinder because she was cute + I was horny and barely anyone in my country/area is open to fwb/ons (also on the evening I did match her I've had unexplained flow of optimism I guess). A day or two after she asked me around 10PM if I want to go for a stroll and I did because why not + took some cake I've just baked today. We did walk like that for over 3h, talking about what we do, life and trauma, because apparently we have extremely similar life experiences. We did meet for the second time yesterday for another walk + she did mention we can go to her place after that. And the thing is while talking:
1) I did learn I'm completely opposite of her type (her type are women who are smaller than she (5'5) is, while I'm myself 5'11.
2) She wasn't sure whenever to go into this because she's pissed off that she has to deal with so many inexperienced people, and I've had only one partner before, who wasn't experienced either.
And I think it could take part in why I wasn't able to open too much to a person. We did cuddle for hours and yea it turned me on, but I feel a little broken because when asked "what I like" I couldn't give an answer - my boobs aren't that sensitive, I thought my neck is but guess it works when a person you love kisses it, the only places that give any reaction from my body is the back of my thighs, butt and lower back because it gives me such a nice tickle. I like being tied up I guess, so if it even works out again we can try it?? But I still don't know how to feel about that and myself and I don't want to be someone's 'another bad experience'. Sorry if it's autistic I'm neurodivergent.
tops and bottoms are cringe. most of the time when someone describes themselves as a bottom or a sub it just means they are lazy fucks who want the other person do everything in a relationship. sucks that this bs is encouraged in online lesbian communities
i'm not specifically targeting you anon, but this is a pattern i have noticed and wanted to vent.
Agreed, top/bottom is so fucking played out and boring. Why would you
1. box yourself in to a role like that
2. limit your dating pool even more than it already is
I wouldn't read into it as gay usally. It's a handy word for people who are serious about their relationship but who arent striving for engagement or marriage. Saying 'this is my girl/boyfriend' can feel weird past a certain age or certain number of years into dating. It's a more grown up feeling term for that scenario.
But when married people use the term it can feel a lil off. I get you on that part.
I was just having a discussion about this with another lesbian. You get all excited thinking you met another of your gay kind at the office but turns out it's just a straightie trying to be woke. Fuck you that's our code word reee >>192969
Honestly how the fuck do you even date as a lesbian, especially with a fwb setting? I live in a major city and I'm only open for fuckbuddies because I'm not looking for a relationship at the moment but the only women looking for that are bi couples looking for a threesome. Or trannies
I half agree with you guys as top and bottom is flawed to start with, given that it doesn't cover all the things you can do that don't involve penetration and it's definitely over emphasised now retards think it relates to your personality and behaviour outside the bedroom. But as someone who considers two fingers full penetration and can only allow someone I love and trust 100% to do that, referring to myself as a top to someone I want NSA sex with is helpful. I don't have to give an in-depth explanation about why I don't like certain things to some random I probably won't see again, and they instantly know what I'm offering. If you're someone who's more adventurous and switches things up it's pretty redundant, for sure. But I think for certain people it's still handy as a way to say what you want without having to go into why
you want that.
I worry about the babies too, but I also remember what I was like as a 15 y/o baby dyke drinking underage in gay bars - I thought I had everything figured out. Well meaning older LGB people gave me advice but I barely listened to any of it. Unfortunately you just have to live and learn, that much is true whether you're gay or straight. I do think however there's more to worry about now. When I was 15 and out in the community the main worry was alcoholism, drugs and being taken advantage of by older people. Now there's the push for BDSM to be seen as healthy and normal and vanilla sex as "boring" with shit like the normalisation of choking and beating your partner. A similar trend where monogamy is painted as "boring" and "heteronormative" is happening where polyamory is painted as cool and rebellious, never mind the mental and often physical toll of sleeping around. Then there's the radicalisation of the culture in general pushing people into echo chamber hiveminds. And of course you still
have alcoholism, drugs and older people taking advantage to worry about on top of that! And that's not even touching on tranny shit. I hope to god none of my sisters are gay or bi, because the "community" has gone to utter shit.
Bleh. You're so right. Even as an adult I keep finding myself undecided on whether the "community" is even worth participating in sometimes. At my age the kinkster stuff does not intimidate me (I can just abstain and move on) but I am not interested in open relationships and trannies (harder to avoid) so the spaces we used to have for us
have begun to completely go extinct.
On a related note, is Bumble BFF a good place to look for some lesbian/bi friends? I've uprooted my life by moving across the continent and lost my IRL friends, was looking to rebuild in 2020 but corona isn't gonna make things safe enough anytime soon.
>>193297>it's just a straightie trying to be woke
What? lol. Where are you from? Because >>193500
is correct, partly. It's usually used by heterosexual couples who either don't wish to disclose their relationship status (married or not) or consider it juvenile to call themselves girl/boyfriend when they're 30+. It's never been a term used exclusively by homosexuals.
Bumble is hit and miss, but I quite like it. It's nice talking to people where it's strictly platonic and you can meet women from all walks of life. My fiancée and I use it looking for like minded women to chill with and we went on a double date once with this other couple and it was going great until my fiancée called me a "himbo" after I said something ditzy. One of the women pounced on it like "omg what are your pronouns, anon? I'm so sorry if I referred to you the wrong way!" and I had to explain that, no, it's not that deep, I'm just a big muscle butch with a tiny brain and my partner and I use "himbo" as a little inside joke. I told them I don't give a shit about pronouns as a 30 y/o woman because it's silly and their faces immediately changed. I put my foot in it and outed myself as a "terf
" I guess. The rest of dinner was kinda awkward and none of us contacted each other after that. Lately though my fiancée has been talking to another woman on there with similar interests and luckily enough she asked my fiancée early on about terven things to make sure she wasn't a libfem kek. We're gonna meet her and her flatmate at a barbecue soon. So, mixed experiences. It's like online dating in that you just gotta be upfront about your beliefs and what you want from a friend.
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I hate being a lesbian and I wish I were straight.
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Me too anon. The world is a cruel place to us, it would be so much easier. I also can’t help but love it because I’ve never felt more myself after coming out. Women are beautiful and so are you.
Me too. I'm a GNC bitch too so it sucks the double for me.>Grew up in a homophobic environment, never got to experiment and learn the basics of relationships growing up>Ridiculed by men, grossed out straight women, the only lesbians I knew were vegan political lesbian types who grew out of it and married men, in the end only got along with gay men>The dating pool is ungodly small and borderline incestuous, can't date a girl who hasn't dated someone I already know>Preyed on by bihet girls who wanted a nice lesbian lapdog they could abuse while going after "real" men>Due to being a social outcast growing up I'm now too weird and square to really connect with normie lesbians>Being a butch cis lesbian is now considered a terf dogwhistle, literally all of the gnc lesbians I grew up with are now enbies/transmen who side eye me for not following suite>Men keep shitting on me because I serve no purpose as a failed woman to them, at least it keeps me safe from AGP transbians but being despised by 50% of the population isn't all roses>I'm in my early 30's, people think it's weird and suspicious that I'm not dating or in a relationship >My family would probably disown me if they knew about me being a lesbian>Now I only hang around with straight/bi girls and gay men who really can't relate to my life but they're nice and accepting of me so good enough I guess
I'll probably be alone forever nonnies but I've already accepted it
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I got so sick of libtards on bumble I put "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT MY PRONOUNS, I'M A FUCKING WOMAN!" at the top of my bio and I've had significantly less messages since then kek. However the women I do talk to, especially butches and GNC women, commend me for it. I've had a lot of vent-y conversations about how you're not allowed to look too masc or else the begendered will interrogate you. My inbox atm is basically picrel and I'm loving it. If you don't want to go full terf
maybe try with something more subtle like "stop asking about pronouns", "I don't care about pronouns", etc. You might get taken for a non-binoid but I think women who "get it" will understand what that means.
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>opening up Hulu’s Pride Never Stops collection and seeing Chasing Amy
I wanna fucking die bros
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I have this fantasy where I get her off the internet and turn her into a based radfem also I had a huge crush on boxxy in high school so
What the fuck? Did the people who curated that collection even watch the fucking film? Tell you what, nonny
. We can off ourselves together if you bring the kool-aid.
Either Shayna for the same reason as >>193792
She's a bit of a wildcard though. Gimpgirl would either be insufferable to be around (especially as another woman) or I'd be able to crank up her self worth and self respect a bit. Most of all I just want to understand how exactly her thought process works and I'd be willing to date her for a month for that.
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continuing my pattern of falling in love with straight women, im in love with a french painter who died in 1895 who fucked one if not two of the manet brothers. sigh
>>193782>you will play ff14 with erin painter and larp as the femroe to her uwu tiny catgirl>you will never have erin painter suicide bait and post fake self-harm scars on twitter(dot)com when you start having relationship problems
why even live
i'd also date holly brown. we could write a really bad webcomic together
God same I'm such a sperg for her. She's my weeby autist dream girl. I could take or leave the Patreon bucks, Moo could be broke and desperate a la Lori and I'd still date her and marry her and live in an ugly house with her.>>194009
I dated a woman like Erin Painter before and I don't think I could do it again. Crytyping insecure gf is cute but suicide baiting gets old fast. I could totally handle it for a month tho. She's a cute lil porker.
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Same. I never understand it when girls wish they were gay. It's such an incredibly lonely existence sometimes, especially in 3rd world countries…
Anyway tfw no gf
>>193682>Me every time a girl I have a crush on starts dating a worthless moid and I'm reminded that I'll never be able to compete because I don't have a dick
It's especially painful when they've baited with "I'm bi, I'm into girls too" and then always, always
end up with men. You just know they're straight but with traces of woke who would be disgusted if a lesbian was legitimately interested in them. Yeah I'm bitter about this, it's no wonder why so many lesbians troon out. Just let me out of my misery nonnas
I had this issue too until "he" transitioned and the ftm frog voice killed it for me. I think most wouldn't have an issue with you dating them since deep down they know they aren't literally the same as cismen, they do care if you're a terf
Just when I think not to think about it anymore and to try to move on, it comes back and hits me like a truck. You think you know someone, but then you learn that you really don't. Finding out that someone you respected and loved so much you considered marrying them, despises you so much to even lie about you to strangers online, and you can't even figure out why? The way she writes about me like nothing I did for her ever happened. I sound like some crazy abuser even though she never mentions anything specific or any detail of what I might have done? Our relationship was literally 99% wholesome, loving, being supportive and helping each other be better, with an amazing physical connection. Now I don't know who this person is anymore. Hell, not even her other exes (who have actually done really bad things if she wasn't lying) get as much shit as me.
SHE gave up on us after the first "fight" which was barely a fight. I've never said anything with the intention of hurting her, never insulted her, always tried to put her first, etc. All I can think of was calling her immature and refusing to be friends with her after she gave up on us so easily despite still having feelings for me because her friends told her to.
I know I should not let this affect me so much, but it's honestly breaking me. I feel like I can't talk about this with anyone, I can't even tell her how I feel because I'd just be giving her more ammo - I just have to swallow this feeling and pretend I'm fine and I'm fucking not.
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You'll be okay nonny
, I promise. It's only been a couple weeks since your last post right? It's just gonna take a little more time to heal. Your ex sounds nuts, unless you literally abused her posting your vulnerable texts on social media is insane BPD behavior. I'm really sorry you're hurting but I think in a couple more months/weeks you'll look back and feel like you dodged a bullet you know? Just try and be gentle with yourself for the next little while, buy yourself a treat and take lots of hot baths or cozy naps or whatever you find physically comforting. You heart will heal in time.
Also maybe commit to going no-contact with her if you haven't already. It's tempting to stay friends because we've all been socialized to be nice at all times but your ex sounds fucking nasty and you're not gonna heal if you're still interacting with her or checking her social media.
She completely ignored any messages I sent her early this month (shown as having been received) to which I said basically apologized and said okay, I understand, won't message again. Then I find on her blog that she's going to respond via physical letter for some reason instead? So I'm here, like an idiot, trying not to, but waiting for a letter which will likely never arrive because knowing her, sometimes she procrastinates and just doesn't do said things.
Anyway, I'm sorry, thank you for your message, kindness and advice. It really means a lot.
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I wish all of the lesbians in this thread a very seethe when your cute bisexual friend dates a scrote <3
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>>194226>why they no date me!?
t. frustrated biphobic lesbian(Bait)
She sounds like a self-sabotager who nuked your relationship due to her own problems. Or maybe you're blind to your own behavior. Either way, block her and stop paying attention to her shit. You're obsessing, let it go. I say this with love, you need to stop and move forward. She is gone, you are done with her. It doesn't matter what shit her twisted mind conjured up. You can ofc vent but I feel like you're at a point where you're dwelling, not really letting steam out. Stop stalking her socials.
Do lesbians show up in the bi thread to farm attention? I think not. Sounds like a bisexual problem.
She's a lesbian.>>194527>>194547
You are both right in that I need to learn to separate and move on. It's really difficult and I have been working on keeping busy and not thinking about it, but then it just suddenly creeps up on me and really messes me up. I don't actually check her blog anymore, but remembering what I have seen already still eats me up inside and I can't help but feel a lot of emotions when I think about it and her. I also mourn what our relationship was and what could have been (her being as she was before), but I'm working on stopping that because I know it's just a fantasy at this point.
I just wish I could understand why, or what was it that I did if I did something so wrong? But I guess I have to stop wishing for that too.
I should've asked earlier considering pride month is almost over, but should I have worn a small lesbian button or mask at work? There's another girl there that I think is also lesbian and I wanted to kind of signal that to her in a subtle way but I didn't want to be super obnoxious about it. Also dunno how I'd feel about everyone else at work knowing I was out, but maybe they wouldn't even known what the lesbian colors were kek>>190012
God I remember this embarrassing time when I used to work a food service job and I took this cute girl's order but I was so distracted looking at her face I fucked up making her food right in front of her. I really should have known it then
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I'm a lesbian and I can't help but feel some kind of thrill whenever my bi gf does something to stir up my jealousy. I feel like I would be into cuckolding, idk maybe me watching a my gf have sex with a guy will destroy me but i like when she makes me feel small insignificant(MALE)
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Wouldn’t be surprised if this was written by that scrote who was spamming here earlier
Prioritize women for sure, block out confirmed creeps or any flirting but what you're describing is just going to get you a reputation for having a clear chip on your shoulder. Maybe you're on the spectrum too and struggle with extremes? but this reads as a childish cope for a serious mental health issue. Trauma requires certain treatment. Playing weird social games of alienation isn't going to serve you in life. It will only make your trauma more obvious to people.
Resolve it in private and you won't have to feel like this forever. I've been there and you'll only come across as weird and unwell to people if you follow this line of thinking.
just ignore them tbh putting so much energy into blocking out men aka hypervigilance is draining and shows they have control over you. seeing strangers as neutral background props is actually normal so you need trauma therapy to function a little healthier. if you don't want to talk just say you're busy and learn how to grey rock
depending on where you live street harassment and catcalling can be effectively reported so try not to worry about it and wear headphones when safe. maybe start reading feminist authors? like you could become involved in some kind of feminist activism and put your energy into that sort of understanding over your trauma so you're less isolated in your isolation if that makes sense because generally women with trauma are taught it's their problem and to just get over it which might not suit you
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That is an adorable premise! Retro-futurism is one of the cooler aesthetics AND there is a pun in there. A+
I'm not a bar person usually so I'd make it a lesbian cafe. Maybe it's set up so you have to be seated like a bar and socialize with strangers during a light brunch. Not sure about the name… Yolk?
definitely don't go alone if you're introverted/socially inept or you'll end up with very drunk old ladies talking your ear off as you look wistfully at all the pairs and groups of women who are actually your age
try using a dating app's "looking for friends" setting if you need people to go with
I'd go to your bar anon that sounds rad.
I had a dream once I was going to a mystery bar/strip club but I never made it inside. The only thing I remember was it was called Qunts.
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Rural country dive bar please. All the bar stools would have saddles on them and I'd exclusively hire cranky old working class dykes to bartend. Open mic night every Friday for lesbian folk music and Saturday would be drag king cowboy night. I'd call it something obnoxious like Fillies
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Well howdy there pardner! That sounds like a mighty fine establishment, if it were a thing I'd be sure to saddle up my old gal, ride on up to your saloon and spend my days hootin and hollerin with the fillies over a glass of cold whisky.
I work in am elementary school in the rural western US
I'm a custodian, I'll spare you details but I live alone and am completely broke. I WAS living off cambells condensed chicken noodle soup until a week ago.
enter Sarah, a lunch lady my age who I don't know much about except she dresses cute, has cool hair, and her entire fucking face lights up when she smiles. IM SUFFERING.
so because I work in a small elementary school, word travels fast and somehow Sarah found out I'm living off soup. she started saving me a portion of summer school lunches, nothing serious. just setting aside a portion of breakfast and lunch. she started doing the same thing for Lisa, my coworker. so I didn't really think about it.
That went on for a few days but TODAY she gave me double portion of lunch and apple slices instead of a pear. I made one off hand comment about not liking pears, I didn't even think she heard it because I said it to Lisa.
thats not all though. she was playing music I recognized so I told her that I loved that song and she did that smile where her whole face lit up. Now maybe it's because I'm a touch starved lesbian in a small town but I was compelled to write a thank you note for her, super generic. I signed it "your favorite custodians" so it wouldn't be clear that I wrote it.
I don't even know if Sarah likes girls or if she's just being nice but my stupid brain is telling me apple slices mean something. they weren't even on the menu today, only fruit served to everyone else was pears and bananas.
if this works out, apple slices will have to be a new lesbian symbol (at least for farmers), like broccoli / violets.
good luck anon!! rooting for you
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What do you girls think of girls that are flat chested? Sometimes I feel bad about my body, even to the point of feeling like a total troon for posting this. I’m tall and scrawny and my tits are pretty much non existent. Like they just look like nipples on a chest, it sucks. Usually when I see lesbians talking about the girls they think are hot it’s thicker curvier girls or butch girls. Now a butch girl could definitely pull off the tall, skinny, puny-boob thing if they’re Shane McCutcheon but that’s just not me. I’m probably overthinking this and I’m DEFINITELY rambling but I don’t see a lot of love from wlw about this particular look/body type so… thoughts? Sage for stupid
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Ime butches aren't all that popular, we're probably all insecure about some shit.
Also I thought I sperged enough about Keira Knightley in other threads
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>meet girl irl
>immediately hit it off
>have loads in common
>bond over lesbianism
>casually mentions she slept with her cis male roommates 'out of bordem' during lockdown but still considers herself a lesbian
um. am i overreacting to be really put off by that? (the 'cis male' bit is her distinction, not mine)
I've never been to a hen party (what we call them here) and seen much penis/sexual stuff sitting out. I've seen that stuff in sex shops before so someone must be buying them but it's not every hens night that has them.
Afaik that tradition just links back to the fact that you used to be losing your virginity after your wedding. It was you entering into the world of interecting with a penis. It celebrated and light heartedly made fun of that fact. The mystique that was once lost on our wedding night. The novelty has passed now given we're nearly all sexually active for years pre wedding. Add in that it's a same sex wedding and there's even less mystique or novelty to putting genitals on decorations
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You could all make vulvapops together. You can buy kits online. A little googling around yields ideas for vulva balloon art, too.
A lot of people have more nuanced views when you get to know them. Just give her a chance, nonnie
, be open and honest and respectful and see if she gives you the same in return.