[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Server Status ]

/g/ - girl talk

File(20 MB max)
Password (For post deletion)

The site maintenance is completed but lingering issues are expected, please report any bugs here

File: 1681196740708.jpg (80.97 KB, 612x613, tumblr_570fd269cecee05d85abf3b…)

No. 321065

Please keep posts focused on women and female homosexuality! If you want to talk about attraction toward males it probably belongs in the bisexuality thread or questioning thread (check the catalog, they're usually not on the front page but I promise they exist!). Please ignore obvious bihet/troon/tradthot/fujo/etc rage bait as well. Remember that when we take the bait and infight the trannies win! If you suspect a poster is XY pls report and ignore instead of shitting up the entire thread with accusations. Newfags pls lurk and read the site rules before posting, and be careful to stay safe and anonymous (use a VPN, incognito mode, be wary of external links/discords, and be very cautious about the personal details you include in your posts).

Topics of discussion may include but are not limited to:
>first crush?
>what’s your local lesbian scene like?
>cute stories about your gf
>favourite lesbian media? lesbian media you hate?
>coming out stories
>are there any cows you’d uhaul with?
>bitch about being lonely
>tips for coping with being lonely
>butch? femme? how do you feel about labels?
>top? bottom? how do you feel about those labels?
>what's your type?
>when did you know you were gay?
>f/f fanfic and book recs (pls)
>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? which ones don’t fit you at all?
>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?
>what do you wanna be like as an old lady lesbian?
>get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etc
>best date/match? worst?
>how homophobic are your family/friends? is it woke homophobia or oldschool homophobia?
>dating app horror stories
>everything we hate about every other online lesbian community
>lesbian friends, role models, or family members you appreciate
>lesbian history, literature, and politics

previous threads:
#1- >>>/g/132141
#2- >>>/g/174105
#3- >>>/g/200981
#4- >>>/g/247377
#5- >>>/g/273508
#6- >>>/g/296902

No. 321066

File: 1681197014108.jpg (643.09 KB, 1907x2048, tumblr_069b59754b499f61de62a26…)

This photo was my runner-up for the threadpic.

No. 321073

would love to recommend a bride for rip van winkle and candy rain to any nonnas who like asian lesbian cinema, one is taiwanese the other is japanese and both are great, although slightly heartbreaking

No. 321113

For those of you who use dating apps, which ones do you like the most? So far I’ve only used Her and I’m wondering if I should cast a wider net

No. 321120

File: 1681233559621.jpg (71.39 KB, 360x553, 9781635570304.jpg)

Can I bring back the book discussion from the last thread? I just read Priory of the Orange Tree and it was pretty good, it had a good plot independent of the lesbian relationship and lots of well written female characters in general. One of the women in the lesbian pairing is canonically bi according to the author's comments on social media but I didn't interpret her that way at all while reading, she seemed like a case of genuine comphet didn't want to be with men or have children, but she's a queen so she was pressured to marry for political reasons

No. 321227

Question for any russian speaking anons here: why is Двач’s /геи/ thread inaccessible? It keeps displaying “Ничего не найдено”. Is it precaution due to the new law?
Just wanted to check how fellow eastern european lesbians are doing

No. 321228

Btw I know what “Ничего не найдено” means, in before I confuse people, I’m just wondering why that pops up

No. 321241

Trigger warning: rape, mental health issues do not read if these are triggering
I got raped by moid at a party and it is fucking up my sexuality. I used to be so secure in my lesbianism but now I hate to call myself lesbian because it feels like I'm giving others a bad name. It's not even that I like men now, I still refuse to touch them. It's that I keep thinking about the rapist in romantic way because acknowledging what he did to me gives me anxiety. To the point where I've been texting him back like a desperate ex, I literally never knew this man before.
It's sucks because that whole night moids kept kissing me when all I wanted to do was start a convo, I remembered all I did was say hi to one and ask for his name then he started kissing me. It's like I'm just a body to them. I have always been depressed but I think this might push me to the edge. It's not just the Stockholm syndrome I'm developing, it's that i feel more hypersexual and it's disgusting. I was a virgin before because even before I fully came to terms with being lesbian I was never interested in dating guys during highschool. Now i lost my virginity to a man who raped and I can't even remember it because i think he drugged me. Someone else had to tell me I got raped. I have never blacked out like that before. It has been months and i should be getting over it but i can't, i feel like I'm going insane. I feel like this world is rejecting me. I was already dreading it because of fear of my homophobic family rejecting it once I come out. But now what's the point of that when I don't feel like I can ever have a romantic relationship with anyone? Everyday my mind keeps revisiting that night and trying to remember the whole thing. I think my mind is trying to cope with the anxiety by making it seem consensual and forcing weird feelings of infatuation towards him(it was not, there is no way a consensual thing would leave me this fucked up). But this event that traumatised me is completely gone and the only other person who might remember is the same person who hurt me. Maybe that's why I am so obsessed with him. I just want him to tell me everything that happened but I blocked him because I didn't want to mess up the police case. But it's been forever and it seems like the police haven't even started investigating, so it feels so useless. Because now even he's blocking me. My friends who tried to protect me that night said like I can come to them for support but I don't want to trauma dump them and it feels like they are avoiding me. I literally saw them posting online about partying at the same place I got raped. I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone else not even my parents because they are super religious and it feels like they are victim blaming me for going to a party with "non-believers". So I'm dumping all my emotions here. I am so done with this world, I am suck academically, my social life is shitty and the one thing I'm supposed to have control over (my agency/sexuality) got violated. I feel like lolcow is the only place where people understand me without judging me.

No. 321243

if you really want to go there then you need to go to 2ch. hk/ ga (without gaps obv), but I wouldn't, lesbian thread is basically dead after the war started and the only regular poster is some retarded larping troon, and all the gay men threads are basically porn threads with dicks plastered all over the place

No. 321244

Why the fuck do you even visit 2ch? It's the most cancerous image board out there.

No. 321249

This. I used to visit it just for the вундервафля threads on /jsf/, because she was the biggest jfashion ru comm cow. Everything else is pure garbage. I don't know how people can waste their time there unless they are 15yo.

No. 321262

I also kind of read this character's approach to romance as her not wanting to be with a man but feeling like she has to, which was a perspective that I really found to be a compelling part of her character considering her role in the story. spoiler for MAJOR character/event spoilers but i was actually kind of sad when her husband died. like yeah we all knew it was coming and with him in the picture the actual relationship that is the center of the plot can't happen but the entire situation made me really sad and I kind of liked him despite him being a fucking idiot lol

No. 321264

I've really only had reasonable success with matching with women who actually talk to me on Tinder, HER is full of gendies, freaks and AGPS twice my age in my area. Being able to see who liked me was actually kind of depressing because it exposed me to the number of moids and degenerates that use that app for creeping on women kek.

No. 321265

Russian speaking nonnas exist? Wasn't expecting that (im not the only one yay)
And yeah, 2ch sucks ass

No. 321267

I'm so sorry, nona. I don't have any other feedback but I just want you to know how sorry I am for what you endured.

No. 321274

File: 1681325542265.jpg (192.76 KB, 568x855, 9781635577921.jpg)

I was kind of sad too lol, he seemed like a genuinely nice Nigel type which is further evidence of her lesbianism instead of bisexuality imo, can't remember the exact quote but at one point she said something like "even though he was gentle and kind it still never felt right". I really liked her character, the tokophobia and lifelong dread of knowing she'd eventually have to marry was extremely relatable. I remember feeling the same way as a kid. I didn't know lesbianism was a thing until my teens so I spent my whole childhood terrified to grow up because I thought pregnancy and husbands automatically happened to women when we hit adulthood.

I'm reading the prequel now and it's pretty good too. There's less focus on romance (there is a lesbian couple in the POV characters, but they don't seem as important as Ead/Sabran so far) but it still has lots of well written female characters so I'm happy.

No. 321285

I really wish we had a lolcow-esque imageboard here, but finding rus-anons on lolcow and in lesbian thread of all places is quite amusing

No. 321310

I'm so excited to read the (pre)sequel, I preordered it when it was first announced but I haven't had the time to pick it up and really dedicate myself to reading it lol. I'm happy to hear there's another lesbian couple, Samantha Shannon continues to deliver on that front even if they're secondary characters lolol. I read the first book over the course of a little under a year because of my schedule, but being able to come back to it regularly was actually really comforting. I want to sperg out about the book but I don't even know where to begin kek, heres a little something else that's super spoilery and also not lesbian related

I admit that I skipped a large portion of Niclays' chapters somewhere in the middle because I reached a point where I just did not give a shit about him and his problems (though I found his character as a whole interesting and complex in a frustrating way) lol, but by the end he had seriously grown on me and I actually cried when he reunited with the wife of his lover. It felt kind of cathartic. maybe I'm just a sucker LMAO. Also, for a short time Tané's side of things also was a little boring to me. I know a lot of her conflict is internal and her story as a whole felt kind of secondary to the really all-consuming "West" storylines, which is why maybe sometimes I got tired of her, but I was still rooting for her.

No. 321312

Damn it’s that bad? Ah, I just visited couple of times and went directly to the lesbian thread, I was curious to see what’s the vibe like - with me being a slav I thought our experiences are probably going to be more similar than with anons from the west

No. 321317

i'll get around to reading this someday! I'm just a little put off by the length esp because I usually read audiobooks

No. 321318

seconding this

No. 321323

If you're a big fan of high fantasy settings (that include places other than "fantasy england") with a creative approach to a magic system and lots of fantasy politics then this will be a fun read for you. Even if these things aren't normally what you look for in a book, I think it'll be engaging all the same with how things are laid out slowly for the reader bit by bit, s there's really no wall of exhibition waiting for you. I'm the anon who read it over the course of a year, so I don't see anything wrong with just reading/listening intermittently if that's what works for you (though I recommend keeping a glossary of the characters/places on hand so you don't get confused about who is who and doing what haha). Don't let the length stop you, it's a well crafted book that's worth a read imo!

No. 321393

I'm so sorry you went through that nonnie. I genuinely think you need some help as someone who has gone through similar. The sooner, the better. Wishing you the best.

No. 321471

Sometimes, my face unfurls
From what it’s supposed to be
And I shed my big girl clothes
And I slither back into Me

Sometimes I realise it’s been…
one year. Flowers open their skirts
to the sun’s gaze, crumple again:
pulled to death by steel wind

Julia, I uncork and remember-
my bones sink into liquid fire
Warm again, I drink in the memory
Your face, breaths, stir embers

Alone with your ghost, I sip,
float into your reverie, see
how your hands flutter, urgent,
bright eyed ferret, pillow lips

Sometimes, I put you back home
In my closet, where lie limp:
our dead, moth eaten uniforms.
And I feel you burn my lips,
I shut away my soul

No. 321494

Please seek help, nonna. I understand what you're going through, and I feel deeply for it.
You probably already know these things, but I'll state them just in case they can help:
-Many colleges have a center for sexual assault of some kind. It sounds like you've already done what you can in terms of reporting, but these centers can help you navigate the impact the rape has had on you. In my case, they helped me receive academic accomodations and discreet therapy services after the event, allowing me to start processing what happened with a professional and somewhat minimizing the damage it had on my academic career.
-If you're situationally unable to or do not feel comfortable with seeking help through the above, but do feel up to doing some reading, the book The Body Keeps the Score is also very helpful. It covers a large breadth of trauma's lasting impacts in a nonjudgemental manner. For me, it helped me feel less isolated in my experience and the way my mind/body was coping with it. And it helped me understand the frankly distressing trauma responses I was having.
Even neither of the above are options for you for any reason, I sincerely wish you the best. My heart is with you. I'm glad tbat you have a place to at least write out what happened amongst women who will not judge you.

No. 321526

I'm so sorry you're going through so much nonna. Things are hard already without fakeass friends and physical traumatic responses. I don't have much suggestions except maybe traumadumping on a mental health crisis line for however much you want to, and looking into whatever services your university offers for this. Maybe doing things like ripping up old papers can bleed off some of the restless stress idk. There's no "should" timeline for getting over traumatic events, much less one like rape. Please take all the time you need to recover and I hope the piece of shit that did that to you falls feet-first into a wood chipper. I believe that you can weather this storm.

No. 321601

Nonnie please don’t be hard on yourself, don’t blame yourself for how you’re responding right now. That’s trauma. You can separate the trauma response from the real version of you, how terrible to be hurt so much and not properly heard. And those friends suck. I hope you have family to confide in right now, anything. You’ve done nothing wrong, there’s nothing to feel ashamed about. It’s important that you get 1) justice, legally and 2) healing- therapy to process this, someone to talk to, maybe some time to heal. Again, I’m so sorry you went through that. How other people treat you does not represent who you are. You are a full, feeling, human, you’ve done nothing wrong, you deserve love and care.

No. 322122

My girlfriend's dog might break us up. It's bitten me 3 times now, with the most recent being last night at 4 am and it was really forceful and hurt really badly.

She can't sleep over at my house, because of the dog. We can't spend lazy mornings at my place in bed cuddling and having sex and coffee, because of the dog. We can't be spontaneous, because of the dog. The ONLY way we can do any of these things is if I am constantly sleeping at her house even though I don't have a car and have to walk or bike there every time.

I grew up poor and have finally gotten a good job and live the first nice apartment of my life. I just spent 2k on a whole new bed and sheetset among other things to upgrade my bedroom so that she would come over (my old mattress was shit and she understandably didn't want to sleep on it).

She said she would sleep at my place if she could bring her dog. But I have a cat and since her dog fucking bites all the time I'm not okay with it. It seems like the only way we spend the time I want to spend with her is if I'm making a compromise.

I can't believe something so stupid is causing such a problem but we're 10 months in and I'm at the end of my rope. The dog fucking runs her entire life and schedule and now it runs mine too. I didn't sign up for this.

Every lesbian has a dog so I'm probably doomed to repeat this over and over.

No. 322124

Wtf, that sounds awful. Is it untrained or something? That's genuinely irresponsible on her part, especially if it's a behavior she is doing nothing to correct. I don't blame you, I wouldn't want to live around an animal that bites unprovoked like that either. If it does come down to breaking up, I hope you find a dogless lesbian out there somewhere.

No. 322126

I don't know what's wrong with it. To her credit she feels awful about it, she's hired trainers in the past and bought expensive collars and stuff and nothing works. It's just really protective of her. I'm not sure what else she could do honestly. Luckily it's not a pit, it's a mid size (30-40 lb) mutt so when it bites it's not a mauling. That said, when we walk it it lunges at people and especially children, it bit a child on a street two months ago and luckily the mother was more understanding than I would have been.

No. 322131

Then she should not walk it around other people at all wtf
Take it to the woods to have a run
Your gf sounds like a jerk tbh

No. 322135

I wouldn't be able to tolerate that shit. Especially the biting random people and the fact that you have to plan your life around this dumb violent creature.

No. 322139

sounds like the dog needs a vacation training for a couple of weeks with some high class dog trainer at his place, biting random people on the street is very bad, and i dont critice dogs often at all but like this is a lot over the line.

No. 322140

She's not a jerk she feels really badly about it. But I think sometimes she doesn't see the extent that I'm compromising and when I ask for some reciprocation it doesn't happen.

No. 322142

There's no use in "feeling" this or that way about it when a child can die of an infected bite
She's a jerk because she does her thing consequences for others be damned. And the consequences can be very serious

No. 322145

What's the solution though? She's not going to put the dog down. And 98% of the time it is fine, it's so unpredictable when it will freak out. If we break up because of the fucking dog it will be the stupidest thing in the history of my dating life. But if it comes down to "me or the dog" then I'm the bad guy.

No. 322149

Keep it away from people, walk it in the woods or somewhere where there's nobody around.
She's got an asocial animal, she cannot behave socially as if she doesn't. She has to adapt her social life for as long as the dog lives if she intends to keep it.

The stupidest thing would be you dying from a dog bite infection. If you decide to stay, make sure to go to the doctor each time you are bitten and watch for sudden swelling. I've seen bites get infected and it happens fast.

No. 322151

shit really? Is that only if it breaks the skin? I have a gnarly mark from last night but it didn't bleed from what I can tell.

No. 322154

Yes, when the skin is broken the pathogens from the saliva can enter.

No. 322155

Thank god. Thanks to all the anons who responded to this, you are making me feel less crazy. In my city, it feels like not being a huge dog lover is almost as unpopular as being a republican in the gay community

No. 322188

Is there anyone else who felt like they had to give up on being butch/androgynous? After the millionth time of being asked "what are your pronouns" and "what do you identify as" I finally just gave up and grew out my hair and wore brighter colors. I feel kind of like a huge loser but being confused all the time for a TIF just really set me off after a while. I think I naturally have sort of a masculine face so I think I almost passed too well as a teenage boy until I opened my mouth.

No. 322356

This sucks, nonna. I hope that you two find a way through it, but this is an understandable reason to break up in my eyes. If you were just complaining about it being hard to schedule time together due to the dog, that'd be one thing. But all the biting? And the dog biting random strangers, even children? That's honestly an eventual lawsuit waiting to happen and you can't be blamed for not wanting to be around it and not wanting it in your home.
For what it's worth, even if you date another woman with a dog, I doubt it'll be this bad. I do hope that she and her dog can find a solution eventually as being anxious/aggressive enough to act like this must also be very stressful for the dog.

No. 322360

>Every lesbian has a dog
Not true nona, there are tons of cat lady lesbians! But she sounds like a bad pet owner in general which is really unfortunate, and I'm sorry you've been bitten. Is there any way to come to an agreement about getting the dog training? Being bitten more than once seems like a pretty good reason to me, like what would she do if you had to get stitches the next time?

No. 322363

I've considered it but, dressing feminine makes me feel too weird and, honestly, vulnerable. I'm a "soft" butch, but I notice that younger people use more masculine language towards me, calling me "bro, man, dude, etc." in conversation. A zoomer cashier at Aldi called me "sir" the other day, which I was surprised by. Haven't been sir'ed in a while, lol. Older people (40s+)speak to and treat me like a woman regardless of what I'm wearing. Older men will hold doors open for me and let me in/out first from elevators and stuff. Thankfully I haven't been asked about pronouns yet. I think I've avoided that because I'm in my mid 30s and don't hang out in LGBT spaces or with younger people.

Such a strange time to be alive.

No. 322436

>Older people (40s+)speak to and treat me like a woman regardless of what I'm wearing.
Isn't it such a relief? I love being called young lady etc by older women I meet. It's comforting in a way. Meanwhile people my age will they/he me aggressively and act shocked when they figure out I'm just a regular lesbian. Since you mentioned it, I have to assume my age is a factor as well, I'm right in that typical age bracket for gendies.
I can't, long hair is a sensory nightmare and I just plain don't like how it looks on me, plus I feel fucking goofy when I've tried to wear feminine clothing or makeup in the past. Like I'm making a fool of myself somehow, idk it's just not my thing and it's not natural to me so I can't do it. I've been mistaken for a boy in public before but they usually apologize once they realize and I've never minded that aspect of it, but when people assume I'm trans I get mad. I've had people tell me that this is basically my own fault, but it's not like it's always been this way, I didn't used to get treated like this.

No. 322442

I dress in neutral colors, have very masculine manners and wear men's clothing only, but keep my hair long (short hair looks like shit on me and seriously makes my manface issue even worse) and sometimes makeup so I guess that's why I've never gotten they/he'd or asked for my pronouns.

>dressing feminine makes me feel too weird and, honestly, vulnerable.
Same, I used to dress more feminine but it always made me feel like I was walking around wearing a wacky uncomfortable skinsuit. Plus I had a visceral reaction to men catcalling and trying to flirt with me. Wearing masculine clothing actually works in repelling them, now they just treat me like shit in other ways that doesn't include being hit on.

>I've been mistaken for a boy in public before but they usually apologize once they realize and I've never minded that aspect of it, but when people assume I'm trans I get mad.
This too. When I wear my hair tied back I get sir'd sometimes and it's just funny to me when they sincerely thought I was a teenage boy but when they actually assume I'm trans I feel like they just insulted me and my entire being. Which they essentially did though, assuming that I can't be a woman because I don't look like their stereotypical interpretation of one.

No. 322547

Am I weird for naturally being les4les? I would rather be with a lesbian that has slept with a man before than with a bi that only sleeps with women, not because I'm biphobic or think she will cheat on me, I just don't want to be with someone that is attracted to men. Even just the knowledge that a woman is attracted to men is kind of repulsive to me and makes me dry. Even when I was 12 and didn't know much about lesbian/bi stuff I felt like this so it must be intuitive. I also know I wouldn't be able to relate or connect intimately with a woman that is attracted to men, I just have this weird mental block with them. Sometimes I wonder why I am like this because I am 5'0 and have very feminine features. Maybe I am broken.

No. 322560

Is this a bait ?

No. 322564

No. 322565

Nah, wanting to be with someone who shares all your struggles is normal. While we share some of them with bi women, there is other stuff we can't relate to due to them being attracted to men too (and vice versa, bi women can't fully relate to lesbians either).
Different sexualities, different struggles.

No. 322566

words mean nothing nowadays and meeting a lesbian might as well be meeting a bisexual because most will accept troons into their sex pool. also gender special people dont call themselves bi anymore (it's an outdated terf term according to them, because bi = 2 = only 2 gendies) so anyone who still consider themselves bi and not pan might as well be a cryptoterf.

No. 322573

What is the best app for making friends?

No. 322578

Do you need masculine interests to be butch? Or is it just fashion + being lesbian?

No. 322581

A question regarding women who realize they are bi and not lesbian - have they always had attraction to men and they just didn't admit to it? Or did they just meet the right man and only become attracted to men when they come out as bi? I'm lesbian and worried I will end up meeting the 'right man' because of these stories even though I think I'd rather die than sleep with a man. I recently had a friend talk about how her bf eats her pussy and the image made me want to puke. Sry if this is unrelated.

No. 322590

When I was 13-15 I was porn addicted and masturbated to everything that had a female in it including things with gore and animals. I'm not attracted to men and am disgusted by the thought of having sex with them but sometimes I think I must be bi or het for this. Even worse I feel very dirty and corrupted because I viewed these things even though it's been years since I've looked at them. Being gen z with unrestricted internet access and morbid curiosity is a curse. I wish I could just wipe my memory at those ages. Some of the content may have traumatized me a little bit.

No. 322591

Nothing wrong at all with preferring other lesbians, most other lesbians I've met have been les4les.

No. 322595

Where do you live where this is the case?

No. 322599

Can anyone recommend some nonfiction lesbian literature? I'm not really interested in political stuff like activism or separatism or feminism or whatever. I'd prefer something like history or sex guides, or even anything with information about contemporary lesbians.

No. 322600

NTA but it's the same over here too. The problem is that the number of bi women is at least five times bigger than the number of lesbians, so they end up opening to bi due to lack of options. But overall they prefer to date other lesbians.

No. 322623

Jesus christ

No. 322625

seconding this

No. 322627

I know. No one else knows this because I am ashamed and just trying to forget. I don't usually think about it anymore. It didn't help that I had autism and other psychiatric conditions and didn't go to school I just spent all day at home shitposting on scrote forums like 4chan and looking at porn and gore. I know I was just a child but I still feel guilty.

No. 322644

With all due respect but "feeling terrible" is really easy when it means you don't have to take responsibility, which in this case would be putting the dog down if it genuinely can't be trained out of it's behaviour.

No. 322665

What is the ratio of butches to femmes in this general?

No. 322672

The US. I've moved states but the lesbians I've met and talked to regardless of state all dated other lesbians almost exclusively. >>322600 is right too though, most lesbians secretly prefer other lesbians but end up settling for bis since they're more in abundance.

No. 322715

I had the opportunity to out myself while talking to a male coworker when another lesbian coworker (that is cute) was near. But instead I kept pronouns vague and said I wasn't interested in dating anyone while I get my shit together. I wish I could deal with straight coworkers knowing.

No. 322719

It used to be a stereotype that butches are good at traditionally "masculine" things like fixing cars, building stuff, etc. Now if you're into such things you're apparently trans or some other gender-speshul nonsense.

I think it's really down to fashion choices.

No. 322731

Why do you care about what straight coworkers think?

No. 322733

because I don't want to be treated like a traitor/ predator by the women and I don't want to be treated like some porny thing by the men.

No. 322736

I'm in a weird spot about this because I feel less fem than most straight women but not masc looking enough to be considered butch. I've also met some really sporty straight chicks that are more masc than me. At the end of the day it's just labels that don't really matter, but I do wish sometimes I could fit in different styles and look right. I love a masc looking face on women but i unfortunately have round baby face and curls that don't look very intimidating for the sharp look I want kek

No. 322746

I got it bad for a girl in my college class. She is a tomboy that wears a lot of pastels and neutrals. Not to mention I try to avoid looking at her face like an idiot. She talks compliments my work for the class. I was trying to talk myself out of it so I decided to stalk her socials and she is fucking cute. She went to Pride and has a lot of pictures of her friends at raves. Now the question is, how the fuck do you tell if she is straight and just is a super supportive ally? I never had a big crush like this in a long ass time. any tips on getting over a crush like this just in case.

No. 322751

just ask anon. even if she is straight, clearly she's supportive enough where she won't be offended if you assume she's gay

No. 322768

Are there any other places for lesbian discussion like this?

No. 322771

I'm very happy my parents are supportive even though they come from a traditional homophobic country.

No. 322787

Can someone here please be friends with me? I made a post on the new friend finder thread please read it if youre interested. I know this is OT I just would really like a lesbian friend

No. 322789

No. 322792

An 18 yo lesbian from london wanting to meet up irl but wont post 'her' contact info. You're either male or a retarded newfag.

No. 322794

I am new(lolcow.farm/rules)

No. 322807

Are you that person in the last thread that everybody yelled at and called a scrote? You should really try to lurk and learn the board culture before trying to make friends here. It's really risky to try and make personal contact with anyone from here anyway, lots of anons from the friendfinder thread have spoken about having creepy moids contact them, it's not the best way to find people.
Try finding smaller lesbian subreddits or terfy/gc lesbians on tumblr maybe? I've had okayish luck there.

No. 322814

File: 1682101446161.png (236.18 KB, 920x1380, png-transparent-nicki-minaj-ar…)

>know this bi girl for like two years
>start to get a crush on her
>ask her out
>she says yes
>leaves me literally a day later for a "mental health break"
>starts talking about sucking this guy in her classes dick right infront of me (she didnt even say we broke up she said she was just taking a break)
>starts sending me straight porn she drew (I told her I was uncomfortable with it because of a groomer who tried to convert me, she never stopped.)
>I finally call her out
>starts bitching about wanting to break up with me and how she only dated me because she felt bad for me
>break up (still friends because she guilt tripped me into not leaving her)
>I start dating another girl
>ex starts isolating her from me
>ex convinces her and all of my friends to leave me
>girl breaks up with me
>she troons out like a few weeks later
>in that moment I realize how shitty my ex is

No. 322816

God im so sorry anon, this was definitely a ride to read, can't even imagine how you must've felt going through it.

No. 322818

Yes I am the same person I just want to find other lesbians because I feel very alone Ive never met any in real life so this is my last hope. Im 18 but I look 15 so I dont want to do dating apps and anyway when I looked there's only weird gender people in my area. I will lurk more but I would really like to make friends here

No. 322819

i think there are some younger terf lesbians on twitter, but there's also a lot of a bullshit there unfortunately. i don't see as many younger ones on tumblr or maybe i don't keep up with those types of radfem circles

No. 322823

It's not your last hope, you said yourself you don't go outside so why not take some of the advice we gave you last thread and try to join some kind of irl community? Anonymous imageboards are not a good place to make friends, I think you'd have better luck on normie social media sites or even discord. I know you said you want to make friends with other lesbians specifically but it's going to be a crapshoot no matter where you look and given the responses you've gotten, I think it would be better to focus on your social skills first.
>dating apps
I think that's for the best given that you said you don't feel an emotional connection to other women.
Jesus christ anon I'm so sorry.

No. 322825

I was looking for friends not lovers on dating apps and there's nothing Im interested in when it comes to local communities. I wanted to try clock making but its too far away I tried joining a support group and there were only old people. I have very bad social skills I say a lot of inappropriate things I'm waiting for an autism assessment. I used to waifupost on 4chan but a creepy moid kept on responding to my posts with detailed fanfics about lesbian corrective rape. SO now I have nowhere to talk about women and lesbian stuff. and I struggle to keep social media accounts because I get very paranoid. Maybe I am just making a lot of excuses but yeah

No. 322826

as a closeted teen I initially thought I was a lesbian because I fell in love with girls but never had any romantic feelings for guys (still don’t kek), so I just figured I was gay because I didn’t know bisexual was a thing and most males are fugly so the fact that I was sexually attracted to both barely registered to me.
tl;dr: if you’re not sexually attracted to males you’re a lesbian
t. bisexual woman (saged &sorry for lurking)

No. 322840

You're a teenage autist with no social skills chasing total strangers around to talk about sexual things
Just stop. Ffs stop.

No. 322853

I see. My advice above still stands, but obviously I'm not going to force you to go join a knitter's circle or anything lol. If you only want to work on your social life online, maybe try seeing if you can integrate here without sparking replies like >>322840 it's a good start at least.

No. 322868

Being butch has little to do with hobbies or fashion. It is a label you grow into through how you're treated by society based on your behavior. It is not about lifestyle at all.

No. 322880

I'll never understand why bihets still date moids?? After everything they've done to women they still obsess over them and make their entire lives about them. Setting our rights back hundreds of years I stg it pisses me off how much they moan about them

Febfems are based

No. 322901

whats the best way to find hookups in a major American city? Like what are some good websites with litte to no troons

No. 322908

Maybe ovarit but I rarely check that site so I’m not sure how many of the users are lesbians

No. 322911

Tinder is always the best option despite troons.

No. 322953

Didn't you mention in the last thread that you are a NEET? Please go do some activities IRL, even if they're boring. I don't live somewhere with a lot of gay people, but getting a part-time job helped me get out of the house and talk to people better. I've made some great friends online, but it wasn't from posting on imageboards, you seem to be more interested in talking at women about sexual things than making real friends. You should probably get an autism assessment and a therapist that helps young adults with autism before embarrassing yourself on here more.

No. 322956

Febfems are often just as male obsessed as bihets. I have quite a few masc friends who got screwed over by febfems who basically wanted a dickless male who would actually listen to them. They wanted the same dynamics of a het relationship and some even got mad at my friends when they were "too feminine" (read: expressed feelings). I'm butch myself and have had some bad experiences with them too. There are good ones out there, don't get me wrong. But don't fall for the "totally based radfem manhaters" schtick either.

No. 322978

I sometimes go study at the library but I don’t know if that counts, at least I am around people but I don’t interact with them. It’s difficult to go out to many places because I am dyspraxic and get lost easily so I need to go everywhere with my parents. I am going to do occupational therapy soon to fix this and maybe I will ask for help with social interaction too I know I’m not the best socially but I guess I must be worse than I thought since you are all calling me embarrassing. I have to wait a long time for an autism assessment because a private diagnosis is really expensive. I can’t wait to get a tomboy gf when I’m older and I get my life together but I think it will be a very long time because I don’t have anything to offer to anyone. My parents want me to focus on my education so no work for me plus they are worried I will have a breakdown if I fail a job so yeah.

No. 323137

You should look into getting help with dyspraxia first and foremost, and even if you can't get an autism assessment, it won't hurt to research coping skills/management for the social issues that come with it. I was in autism support forum when I was 17, and it helped me understand myself a lot.

Also, you can meet people at school, although I didn't go to higher education so I don't have any personal experience with it.

No. 323144

I told you I am a NEET so I am not in any sort of formal education or school I am studying by myself from textbooks for private exams I was supposed to do at 16. Do you know of any resources to help me with social interaction please

No. 323164

Why is it so hard to find a goldstar lesbian gf

No. 323175

I'm not your mother, Google is right there. That's how I found resources and forums for coping with autism. I have trouble socializing in real life but making friends with autistic girls my age online and talking about our struggles and experiences helped a lot. In my country the library has local events to go to, they may be boring, but I've gone to them anyway because being out is better than sitting at home studying and talking on imageboards. I'm not even religious, and I'm praying for you ngl

No. 323189

Anon you have the internet at your finger tips..

No. 323195

I have looked online and I will look more but most advice I see is pretty generic and vague so I just wanted to know if you knew of anything particularly good. Why are you praying for me? I know I sound nlog but I don’t relate to autistic girls I see online because they are fake and always talking about how they mask everything. I’m the opposite I’m very direct and have always been told that talking to me is like being interrogated. I thought that was okay and that I was being nice by being so honest because I personally like everyone to be honest with me so I assumed everyone loves honesty but I recently found out that people like it when you lie to them and pretend to enjoy things they say and gift to you

No. 323207

Nothing I said is wrong, masking is the main reason why so many ASD women go undiagnosed

No. 323213

Do you guys think comphet is a real thing? I've heard some people say comphet doesn't exist and 'people with comphet' are just more-ssa-leaning bisexuals

No. 323215

Because our dating market is over-saturated with bi women tbh. Not all of them may classify themselves as such, but in my experience there's a lot of them out there. Gold stars tend to get snapped up quickly, too. My wife and I were engaged in under a year because after years of fucked up relationships with women who simply did not get us we were ready to U-Haul at the speed of light for The Right Woman.

NTA but meditating twice a day and researching Stoic philosophy helped me with my autism. My brain can overthink itself to hell and back, so taking some time in the morning and evening to focus purely on my breathing and nothing else helped centre me more. I felt more present in life and less trapped in my head. Reading classic Stoic literature (read the books, don't let some YouTube moid explain it) helped me stop catastrophising so much. Simply put: shit happens, but we keep on going. Do I still do retarded things? Of course! But I've got more confident about putting myself out there, actually enjoying many aspects of life because I'm not caged in my silly little brain so much and I handle bad situations better now that I've just accepted the ebb and flow of life.

No. 323216

It depends on what you mean by comphet. If you mean what was listed in that comphet masterdoc that was making the rounds it was made by a self-professed bi woman who thought she was lesbian because of her trauma with scrotes.

No. 323221

Thanks I love Graeco-Roman literature and philosophy but for some reason I’ve never read anything on Stoicism, maybe because I’m not too fond of the crowd it tends to attract. I’ve never treated philosophy as a form of self-help before but it seems like kind of a fun way of enacting self-improvement. I definitely need to ground myself above all else,I struggle to push myself to really get better because I get so lost in my head and lack agency as a result. I tried meditating a few years ago and I struggled with that but maybe it’s because I used a bad app.

No. 323228

Yeah Stoicism has a really shitty dudebro crowd around it, especially online. They all call themselves Stoics while barely embodying even one of the four virtues, kek. Honestly I am not an educated person, I dropped out of school at 15 so when I read those books (in order: Letters from a Stoic by Lucius Seneca, Discourse and Selected Writings by Epictetus and Meditations by Marcus Aurelius) I was basically a philosophical vulture taking what bits I could apply to myself and writing about them in my journal, exploring these concepts as a tool for countering autism. I'm a yo-yo meditator but I've found that guided meditation and apps tend to dilute the experience. I had the most success by starting out focusing on my breathing for 5 minutes and then upping the duration when I was ready. I now tend to do that for 10 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the evening. I don't know if you have concentration issues as apparently not all autistic people do (I don't think? idk I've found mixed messages about it online) but my focus is SO much better now. I've got back into gaming and reading more now as a result, which is just another little thing that just helps me relax and improves my overall quality of life. Best of luck, nona.

No. 323230

I think both "gold star" and "comphet" rhetoric are harmful in different ways, but the latter is tricky since there's technically two definitions of "comphet". The original essay on compulsory heterosexuality was written by a polilez (a broken clock is right twice a day) and argued that women of all sexualities are socialized to prioritize men in their life (romantically and platonically), which is something I agree with. So many straight and bi women in my life would otherwise throw away their values for men, I once knew a former hardcore liberal who dated a Trump supporter. I used to be a "not all guys are bad" when I was a teenager and newly coming out because I wanted to be seen as a "cool lesbian" and not a "gross man hater" - despite having a male-exclusionary sexuality, I still prioritized their feelings. I was also raised Christian and was taught that homosexuality was both a choice and a sin, so I assumed I was straight during my childhood and early teens, since I was surrounded by unhappy straight relationships and figured I would pick the "least bad" guy when I grew up. I knew an ex-gay in real life, too. I've known lesbians who were similar circumstances who dated guys to fit in and they either wound up traumatized or were abused by the guys, and I don't think it's fair to call them bisexual for being in an ordeal like that in the first place, they weren't "bisexual who had bad sex with a man" when even nonsexual interactions were uncomfortable and if they lived somewhere more accepting they wouldn't have tried to "fix themselves".

However, I do think a lot of so-called "lesbians" online who talk about having "comphet crushes" are bisexual women who have trauma with men and cope with it by claiming their self awareness that 99.9999% of men are bad people to be "comphet". (I have a febfem friend who used to be like this.) When I stopped being a Christian and realized I couldn't make myself straight, I would have pretend "comphet" crushes on guys, but they were fake and straight girls could tell I was lying when I talked about it. The so-called "Lesbian Masterdoc" was also written by a bi woman with trauma, and if I remember correctly she redacted the document later on, go figure.

No. 323234

I was raised roman catholic in a slavic country and yet never forced myself to date guys. If I never dated men myself, why is it harmful of me to want someone who also never dated men? It's not about some idea of purity, it's about of shared experience

No. 323238

No one here said it’s harmful to want another goldstar.

No. 323251

When I said I think some aspects of gold star rhetoric is harmful I'm talking about the hardcore types who think you're a lying bihet if you aren't a gold star, which I referenced later in my post. There's nothing wrong with wanting to date another gold star for shared experience. My post made no mention of lesbians who only want to date other gold stars, Jesus. Read the entire post before jumping to a conclusion.

No. 323254

If 'comphet' is making you seek out men to have fully fledged relationships with and even worse, fucking them, you're not lesbian, and I think too many bi women with male trauma claim to be lesbian because of this idea of comphet. However, similar to what >>323230 said, comphet exists in the sense that we as women are socialized to prioritize and include men in all facets of our lives. We are taught from as young as toddlers that our "happily ever after" will include a husband, and so many of us growing up try to coerce ourselves into believing we're bisexual and trying to force crushes on male friends/celebrities. Obviously when we realize we don't actually have these crushes and we're disgusted by male bodies, we realize it was just part of our socialization to make us want to be OSA. But no, if you have a history of actually dating men and consensually fucking them, you're not lesbian and that isn't comphet.

No. 323261

What do you think causes homosexuality in women?

No. 323263

Hot women

No. 323264

Can’t argue with that

No. 323268

having an attraction to other females

No. 323279

my mom joked many times about me being gay because she miscarried a male before having me. she also assumes I'm gay because I was sexually assaulted.

I remember kissing boys and acting out things in movies I saw with them but I never felt anything for boys at all. I only saw them as friends. I never had crushes on boys and other girls teased me about being a boy because of it. I was 8 when I started thinking about girls, but because I grew up in a conservative and very religious family, I would imagine myself as a boy kissing or having sex with girls because it was, in my mind, the only way it would ever happen.

the last time I kissed a boy was when I was 12 and I thought I'd have sex with him to prove that I was normal. thankfully someone caught us stripping and that was the end of that potential disaster. I made friends with straight women in college and went clubbing with them several times, danced with men, became disgusted every time I felt them grinding their hard-ons on me. I decided to end all my experiments with men after that.

I didn't actually kiss or even date a woman until I was 20 years old and when I did it felt so intoxicating and "right". after all I've been through and how I've tried to be straight, I absolutely believe that homosexuality is a natural born trait like one's eye color.

No. 323298

Hope it’s ok to comment, bi lurker, I have so many similar experiences.
I was friends with a “pansexual” (gender-koolaid bisexual) girl who I asked out. She said yes and then dumped me the next day because she wanted to “stay friends”. She would go on and on about how attraction to men sucked, she wished she was a lesbian, girls are so pretty, but actually dating a girl was too much for her. I think she said yes too quickly and wised up the next day when she actually had to face the prospect of seeing me.
Another girl I liked turned out to be a massive fujo and came out as a “gay trans man”. Such a shame because she was genuinely very cool and GNC.
Sorry about your shitty ex nonna. I hope at least you know to stay away from gender-favorable “sapphics”

No. 323364

>I've tried to be straight, I absolutely believe that homosexuality is a natural born trait like one's eye color.
As someone who voluntarily went through conversion therapy, I 100% agree with you. I had months of sessions and hung out with other "ex-gays" in my free time. I was completely devoted to becoming "normal" and heterosexual. At group meetings I spoke frequently about wanting to get married and have kids and eventually a gay guy from the group proposed to me. It was the least romantic proposal ever; he straight up told me he could tolerate me as a wife because I'm naturally masculine and we could do the DIY insemination thing with a turkey baster to have kids. I liked the guy as a friend, but in that moment I felt total revulsion at the idea. Even a sexless marriage with a moid was disgusting to me, and that was at the peak of my "ex-gay" confidence. I left the group after that as I knew it was game over for me. I moved back to my home town and decided to be celibate, I figured not acting on my desires might be enough to "save" me. Even after all the "therapy" (that was literally just abuse) I still fell in love with my wife at first sight. It was only then that I finally accepted that you can't change or "cure" homosexuality. I now view it like I do my autism: I would love to not have this trait, but it's not like I chose to have it in the first place, so I just gotta get on with my life. Fighting it is futile.

No. 323365

>I still fell in love with my wife at first sight.
Can you tell us more about this? That sounds so sweet.

No. 323390

im a bit of a lescel, only had one relationship before. anyway im lonely and hurt from last relationship and have been trying to go on dates but the apps are… not good for many reasons, and i just generally feel so alienated even from other ssa women because im a retarded sperglord. its been a few years now since i broke up with my last gf (although we did last sleep together recently, now ive cut it off for good) but i am having such a difficult time finding anyone who shares my interests even very generally + can tolerate spergery + i am attracted to + is gay or bi. just feels so over.
been working on myself, working out, making money/completing study, making my personality more palatable, but it all feels so empty and lonely, time just goes on and on, i get older and my lack of experience becomes more of a problem. i dont know how to get out of this hole. i could have spent the rest of my life with my ex easily, she and i were so perfectly matched and on the same wavelength, same humour, same desires. feels like ill never get that again, that i had my chance and its gone forever. sorry to vent, just feeling hopeless and would love any input from anyone who can relate/got out of this sort of shit before

No. 323405

Sure I'll romance-sperg! We met at work, we're in different departments though so our paths rarely cross. I still remember vividly the first time I saw her come into the shared office I was in at the time. It's corny as hell, but it almost felt like everything was in slo-mo. My wife has amazing dress sense and that was what first caught my eye; she had on this grey silk shirt and grey chequered trousers with her hair down and minimal make-up and she just had this… aura? You just know she's a good woman in that way where genuinely nice people have that glow about them. Man, she's a total knockout too, mesmerising beauty. I completely lost track of the fact that I was staring at her and when she noticed I nearly had a heart attack thinking she was gonna call me a weirdo, but instead she just smiled at me and that was it, I was in love. After over a year of isolation and intense self-loathing I was brought back from the brink by the realisation that homosexuality is as natural as breathing to me. How can any God resent me for such a pure feeling of adoration? Anyway, we ended up seeing each other more and more around work (we both made up reasons to go to the other's department and steal glances at each other) and eventually we started talking. We had so much in common we just fell into place with each other like we were long-lost best friends. We had our first kiss at our work's NYE party and we were married the next November.

I know it feels shit now but trust me when I say that "experience" is overrated. I used to live a degenerate lifestyle and I accumulated plenty of "experience" with all the wrong women. It did me no good, in fact, it actually harmed me. I wish I just waited for the women I've loved, not because of some "purity" bullshit but I genuinely believe that too much casual sex can be detrimental to self-worth and intimacy skills. >>323399 is 100% right: work on yourself, hang around in tolerable LGBT spaces (if you can find any) and be patient. Think about it: when you meet a girl you like, would you judge her harshly for only having one previous relationship? I wouldn't, and I think most other SSA women wouldn't either - and the ones that would are the ones you should avoid at all costs. Stay strong and keep on pushing forward, nona.

No. 323407

Samefagging to say I'm SO sorry for the wall of text about meeting my wife. Believe it or not, I actually shortened it, KEK. I get a bit overexcited when talking about her. Spergs gonna sperg.

No. 323414

Your wife sounds so cute!! ♥
Your Sperging about her is adorable as well hahaha you make falling in love with another woman sound like an amazing experience, like something out of a movie. Now I kinda want to do that even though I wasn't comfortable with the concept of being in a relationship with a fellow woman. I want to hear more!

No. 323461

Can anyone recommend lesbian fiction that is actually good?

No. 323463

NTA but does experience really matter that much in same-sex relationships? I always thought it wouldn't since our dating pool is so small, but I've seen a lot of women my age (I'm way past 25 for the record) lament that lack of experience means there's no hope for a first relationship, and I was even told in a previous thread it can be a red flag to others. Which doesn't make sense to me, honestly. I personally would prefer someone with a similar level of experience to me (aka none kek, and I came out as a teenager, I didn't even have a GSA when I was in school), and I know I can't be the only one.

No. 323473

thank you bros. also wifeanon thank you for telling the story of your love at first sight, legit made me feel so much better about everything- someone really can just appear in your life who you click with like that. hope inspiring man.
i guess i was feeling pretty sad because i fucked up a date i was actually really invested in by not modulating my emotions/conversation properly because i was overexcited around this girl, she was really cool and attractive and successful in an area i have a lot of interest in, but she hit me with the "id really like to be friends, is that ok?" at the end. i know its just how this sort of thing goes and she was really polite about it but man it burned me. just immediately felt ugly and awkward. i know this just means i need to go on more dates to build resilience though.

No. 323475

File: 1682377847878.png (6.08 KB, 590x212, hhhh.png)

I always feel so isolated from bihets, theyre rude and all they talk about are their little hubbys and boyfriends. I cant have a conversation with them without them bringing up their ugly boyfriends. Why does being a lesbian have to be so isolating

No. 323503

looked this tweet up and damn people were being harsh to her when all she really says in the tweet is that it's isolating to be a woman who isn't attracted to men and doesn't want to hear about men

No. 323519

>>323399, here
"Let's be friends" is generally a polite way to say 'fuck off' because 99% of the time you'll never hear from her again. I hate when women say this and I promised to never say this to women I have no interest in. If there's no attraction, at the end of the date I just tell her I had a nice time, part ways, and delete her number on the way home.
I was sensitive to rejection early on, that's why I said to go on dates without expectations. I've had fun on dates that I sensed weren't going beyond coffee or lunch. A casual vibe takes the pressure off your date as well, so if she doesn't feel attracted to you she won't feel like she needs to make an excuse to not go on a second date. I've encountered a few women who thought VERY highly of themselves and made ridiculous and obviously fake excuses to not call or text me.

In the case you do find someone you like, you can try scheduling a date with another woman in the same week just so you don't get hung up on one woman and torture yourself by waiting around for her to text you.

No. 323523

A question for everyone here: did you feel that your body was judged a lot while dating?

I've been pretty bad with dating because my self confidence is shit. When I did date however I got comments about my body that made me feel both objectified and awkward. Is this a common experience?

Nona you have such a cute story! Wishing the best for you and your wife!

No. 323539

How did it make you feel objectified?

No. 323544

I wonder why are there so few lesbians honestly, it feels like each city has a threshold of a single lesbian kek. I wish I could talk with someone with no attraction towards men someday….
I have been only able to find bisexuals around me and its so tiresome because all of them are either dating men or have bias towards them. I haven't seen a single one (offline or not) who prefers women or considers a relationship with one as serious as one with a men, I have almost started to doubt bisexuality is a real thing.

No. 323545

I was in a situation like you. And there is hope! Contrary to other nonnas, I'd say don't go hard on the dating. It's just draining to try to click with someone you're not compatible with. If you're a specific kind of person, it's unlikely you're going to find gf in a gay bar or by going out with some random women. (I may be biased because I live in a tiny euro-hole, might be diffent elsewhere). That said, if you find someone you feel connection to, just go with it.
Focus on making friends who share your interests and living your best single life. I've actually met my current gf when I made peace with being single. We were friends who wanted to play board games together at first, but we instead spent hours just talking about things. It evolved into relationship some months later.
Also seems like you aren't completely over your ex- that definitely makes falling in love with someone else difficult.

No. 323546

being lesbian helped me stop being an anachan, it made me realise that women are objectively more sexy when theyre at a healthy weight so I should hold the same standards to myself

No. 323553

I feel like with bi women there is no in between. Either they'll gush over women online while only dating men or they will only date women and only be attracted by 1% of men.

No. 323557

I've never heard of the latter

No. 323558

NTA, but back when I was in Radfem/GC spaces I was friends with some. Never met one IRL, though. Sometimes I'm so desperate to find other women IRL whose life doesn't revolve around men that I'd take being friends with a celibate straight woman or male-repulsed febfem.

No. 323560

>back when I was in Radfem/GC spaces I was friends with some
Exactly, they don't exist irl. They are probably underplaying their attraction to men precisely because they're radfem/GC.

No. 323575

I'm one of them (sorry for lurking here) and dated 2 bi girls like me. We can't consider ourselves lesbian because we consciously slept with men but we never fell in love with a man nor saw ourselves in a relationship with one.

No. 323605

Btw seems like no one replied to your question but you can gain access by posting in this thread 2ch. hk/ sex/res/7651032.html

No. 323616

Thank you, nonas. ♥ and to answer your question about objectification: I felt that a lot, but I'm butch so it's kinda par for the course. It happened mainly with the bi women I dated, my masculine features were always praised in a way that just… irked me. Like it was almost always comparative; saying I'm taller than a lot of men, more muscular than a lot of men, stronger than any of their previous partners (almost always men). Why couldn't they just say they liked my height and build? I hated the weird pissing contests they created. I felt like a pseudomale - a trial run of homosexuality in an acceptably masculine package because they either weren't quite ready to accept that they like icky women yet, or worse, I was just male-passing enough to get them off. It felt pretty dehumanising at times and that was partly why I decided to only date lesbians. There are lesbians that have been guilty of making those objectifying comments, but no way near as much. I wish I had advice for getting over it, of course self-acceptance is key but I know how hard that battle is. Best of luck, nona.

It's because I chase all the other lesbians away with a broom so my wife and I can assert dominance over our town.

No. 323634

the gay trans man fujos are the worst
“i became trans because of yaoi!!” like do you mean you wanted to live the life of your fetish?

No. 323651

A friend today told me he broke up with a mutual friend today. I didn’t even know they were dating. the mutual friend in question was a “lesbian.” I asked him “wait, (x name) the lesbian?” and he responded with “well it’s complicated.” fucker, what’s so complicated? I honestly wasn’t even surprised to learn she was a larper because I’ve had my suspicions, but it’s so tiring. The only “lesbians” I’ve met in my city so far have all been larpers. Maybe I wouldn’t care so much if they just let us have our goldstar communities and spaces without issue but they take issue when we exclude ourselves too. I hate these stupid dumb pieces of shit

No. 323742

I know how you feel, anon. I've had so many "lesbian" friends suddenly just start dating or sleeping with men and it's so frustrating. I get that it can be hard to work out your sexuality, especially with internalised homophobia and internalised misogyny, but back when I was a teen (I'm 32 now) it was common to just use the label "questioning". It's like a race to label yourself now, and it's so confusing to navigate LGBT spaces knowing that many people are being dishonest; and what's worse is that many of these "lesbians" know they're lying. But hey, one time they liked a cottagecore aesthetic board on tumblr, that's tantamount to homosexuality, right?

No. 323768

How do I attract butch women??? What kind of women do butch women like? Are they okay with womanlets?

No. 323772

Thanks for the kind words nona. Yeah, that’s what gets me. All of them do know they’re not lesbian because they couldn’t have turned off their male attraction in that time. They’re still feeling it and just not acting on it or talking about it (but a lot of them are disrespectful enough to not abstain. You could at least put the least bit effort into faking.)

No. 323774

This is why I interrogate the shit out of every lesbian so I can separate the wheat from the chaff. They usually give away their true inclinations when you probe deep enough.

No. 323787

Anons here who want to start a family ? It frustrates me so much that my girlfriend and I can't create a small us. The idea of inseminating with a stranger's sperm sounds so gross. It is sometimes difficult to accept that as a homosexual I'm condemned to struggle to become a parent. It reminds me that I am abnormal.

No. 323789

Currently going through the process of trying for a baby with my wife and it's been very emotionally raw. I've noticed myself become increasingly angry at straight couples - just random couples I see on the street - they have the most beautiful gift from God, the gift of procreation and we can't do that naturally. I've also had an uptick in thoughts about trooning out too, my brain basically torturing me and reminding me that if I was male I'd probably be a parent already. On the outside my wife and I have to be all smiles because that's how you're expected to behave when trying but fuck me, it's so tiring. We just wanna scream and throw things sometimes, like you said, it's a reminder of being abnormal.

No. 323792

Shit like this is why I want to date another butch in the future. I'm extremely attracted to femmes and can't get enough of them but I legitimately can't bear being male lite training wheels to another one.

I don't even know a single lesbian friend who actually stuck with the label and didn't suddenly have a bi awakening when a moid who's not completely gross asks them out. It fucks with my mind and makes me question if I'm actually a lesbian myself since it's happened to everyone around me. Just recently I found out one who has always been very adamant about lesbian actually dated a man and had sex with him but still called herself a lesbian. Bleak.

NTA but I'm sorry anon, I've completely abandoned all thoughts of becoming a parent because I would probably have the same experience as you. I'm infertile myself (and wouldn't want to be pregnant anyway) and watching my partner go through with it would totally re-trigger my gender dysphoria hard and make me bitter about straight couples and how privileged they are. I hope it turns out well in the end for you and you'll have the baby of your dreams.

No. 323815

What does "interrogating the shit out of" even mean here??

No. 323819

Ask her a lot of questions about her sexuality. Ask her why she thinks she is lesbian, could she ever date a scrote in the future, who are her celeb crushes, etc.

No. 323820

>It fucks with my mind and makes me question if I'm actually a lesbian myself since it's happened to everyone around me.
I feel this.

No. 323822

Do either you or your girlfriend have any siblings or cousins? It may seem kinda weird, but if one of you were to carry the child, you could use semen from the other one's relatives. So the child would be somewhat related to both of you, idk, this is what I plan to do when I marry

No. 323837

We do but this sounds even grosser. And the brother/cousin might develop feelings for the baby and claim it as his.

No. 323838

Why don’t you want to adopt?

No. 323842

NTA but I don't think that would work for most people. Like >>323837 I also find it gross and would worry about the relative claiming the baby as his. My wife and I are doing reciprocal IVF as we're both biologically involved that way, it's not perfect by any means, but it's something we're comfortable enough with.

NTA but it's natrual to want a child that is biologically yours or your partners. There's no shame in not adopting and I hate how it's often framed as some sort of gay duty - that we have to care for the kids that fucking straight people abandoned. Not having a go at you, I just find that to be a very loaded question. Also, it can be very hard for same-sex couples to adopt. We seem to be held to much higher standards than straight people.

No. 323846

butch here
we aren't a monolith, but I will say that I've seen more butch women with femmes. I haven't seen two butches together IRL Personally, I'm into all kinds of women except the types of butches who emulate male behavior. That's just gross. I do prefer women of average height or taller.

No. 323850


Besides the long and complicated procedures, I'm not comfortable raising a child with possible weird genes. I mean the families that abandon their children are mostly very dysfunctional. I sound like an assshole I know.

What is reciprocal IVF exactly ?

No. 323853

Honestly as an "actual lesbian" that would kind of piss me off to be quizzed in ways similar to how OSA people doubt my sexuality when I came out. I understand being paranoid since I tend to doubt most self-identified lesbians too, but this is a bit unhinged.

No. 323857

Reciprocal IVF is where they take my eggs, fertilise them, and then inseminate them into my wife. Or, more simply - it's my bun in her oven.

No. 323885

ranting but i remember being in highschool/middleschool and all of the girls i’d sit near (near, not next to) would comfortably talk about their heterosexual or bisexual sexualities. and it just made me think, why can’t it just be that easy for me? i wish i didn’t have to be scared of being ostracized from a community simply because i’m a lesbian

No. 323892

Oh, nvm, this seems like a better solution than what I suggested

No. 323907

As the other anon said, it depends on the butch. Some go for very feminine only, some don't care as long as you don't try to look/act masculine. I know only about one butch who goes for other butches. Make sure to let the butch know you're attracted to her (but don't overdo do it kek, anons here talked about it recently).
Also, I think your height would most likely be an advantage. They either don't care about it or feel insecure when it comes to taller women.

No. 323922

Good thing you didn’t tell anyone because that spreads like wildfire. I remember telling 2 people I’m lesbian and then within a week practically the entire school knew. I was mainly ostracized from other girls but some of them were nice and tried to set me up with other girls they thought I would look cute with kek. Boys were completely fine with it believe it or not.

No. 323930

AYRT, it's a fantastic option when it comes to both parties feeling involved, but it's also very expensive and quite a complicated process. It only became an option for me when my career took off. For most of my life I simply assumed it would be my partner who received a sperm donor as it's cheaper and I never even heard of reciprocal until like, two years ago.

No. 323931

Speaking about career I found that lesbians earn 9% more than straight women : https://www.thecut.com/2016/02/lesbians-earn-more-than-straight-women.html
Strangely, I would have intuitively said the opposite. What's your opinion or personal experience about this?

No. 323935

My broke ass is laughing at the notion right now. I had to take a job far beneath my level of education and job experience recently and it's already causing health problems and there is nothing I can do about it. Throughout my career, the jobs I lost or had to move on from I did so due to discrimination about 50% of the time. Male managers hate a woman with agency and lack of willingness to play dumb or flirt back.

No. 323940

I struggled in the same boat before saying 'fuck it' and decided to start my own business.
>Male managers hate a woman with agency and lack of willingness to play dumb or flirt back.
This was a big problem for me, especially as a butch. Guys would either treat me as if I were their kid brothers or they would treat me like garbage because I wasn't sexually available to them. Many of my female co-workers would treat me like a serial rapist and avoided interacting or being alone with me in a room.
At the last company I worked for, my bisexual manager openly flirted with me and would find reasons to make me stay later in the office with her. But when she found I was dating someone, her attitude did a 180 and she started nitpicking my work and complaining about my performance to our boss. We had so many "performance review meetings" with the boss where I was basically told to shut up and do what she said (even if it made no fucking sense at all) because she had more experience than me in the business. I eventually got fired and that's when I realized working for others would never be an option for me.

No. 323947

I think lesbians are more likely to be assertive and ask for a raise or promotion. They are also less likely to have things like maternity leave and child raising in the way of their careers.

No. 323948

not having to go home and cleaning after a scrote also helps

No. 323951

I personally have a pretty well paying job (STEM) but I think it's mainly just because lesbians have less kids and women in straight relationships are still expected to carry the brunt of all the family affairs at the risk of their career development. Single, childless women generally have more money and higher positions because they can afford to dedicate themselves to their work.

NTA but in my school boys tormented me the most for being a lesbian, like actual unprompted physical beatings and the girls had that generic "ew pervert gay rapist" reaction which made me closeted as hell after I switched schools and I masked as a straight-passing femme for a long time before I gained enough courage to return to being a butch.

>This was a big problem for me, especially as a butch. Guys would either treat me as if I were their kid brothers or they would treat me like garbage because I wasn't sexually available to them. Many of my female co-workers would treat me like a serial rapist and avoided interacting or being alone with me in a room.
This is my experience as well, especially the part about being treated like a little brother, they had a very similar vibe as my actual older brother had when we were kids and he wanted to bully me. And the part about female coworkers too, at some point I stopped interacting to save us both the awkwardness and probably gained a reputation as some uppity NLOG for it. Now that I work 100% remotely I don't have to think about that anymore. Also fuck your predatory ex-manager (not literally).

No. 323953

>personal experience
My two lesbian friends are programmers, a heavily male dominated field that pays well. Most of the rest of us work, well, with each other, men being the minority. I've always felt comfortable in my workplaces.
The programming companies have a quota to fill and they hate it. The environment is so hostile to women from what they told me that I'd never work there. But they endure it for some perplexing reason.
So I'd say part of it is lesbians working in male-dominated fields which are paid more by default.

No. 323954

I thought lesbians were much more likely to work in less paid male-dominated jobs like trades and blue collar jobs? I wonder what are the most commonly selected careers amongst lesbians.

No. 323957

Idk, it's possible that about blue-collar work, I don't actually know any blue-collar workers.
My sample size is two, not nearly enough for making any generalisations, I can just guess.
My line of thinking is that tech companies these days have gender quotas to fill. And not a lot of women able or willing to work in such a hostile bro environment. Except some lesbians I know.

No. 323958

It's awesome that you found a solution. I don't make a ton of money on my own yet, but for me it's better than the mental abuse of putting up with all that I did.
>Also fuck your predatory ex-manager (not literally).
LOL, I had lunch with a former co-worker several months after I left and she told me about the manager's weird "coming out" speech at a company party. Apparently, she told everyone in the department that she was bisexual and announced her goals for promoting "inclusiveness" and other bullshit. Fucking malignant narcissist. The fact that someone like her can stay employable is really depressing.

No. 323972

if its already been discussed upthread my bad for not reading but i almost deleted the HER app from my phone today before realizing it's a bigger fuck you to them if i stay on the app and manage to form connections with other real women without them involved on their own app

No. 323973

Not really because more users = more ad revenue.

No. 323981

This happens to me too and its hard cause I was groomed by a pedophilic moid when I was 16 so I have like soooo much baggage that nerfed the shit out of my sexual development lol its bad

No. 323983

They don't rely on premium subs for revenue?

No. 323984

I wasn’t groomed but I was raised on messed up pornographic scrote websites.

No. 323986

Anyone been on the lchat before? What do you think of it?

No. 323989

NTA but all apps rely on ad revenue & selling/collecting their users' data, along with paid subscription and microtransactions. That’s why lots of apps and games have daily rewards of different sorts, to keep you continue using it.

No. 323996

I hadn't heard of lchat before so I checked it out just now and the fact that this thread https://thelchat.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=81465&sid=0aac80b3c8dc61907c7845b17c0962ff about bigotry against butches very quickly turned into bigotry against butches put me right off the place. If I wanted a bunch of bitter femmes treating me like the big bad wolf I'd go to drag queen bingo night at my local gay bar.

No. 323998

Kek I just visited a thread where someone said that you might as well just date men if you like butches because butches are just men with vaginas and they are bound to transition anyway.

No. 324000

File: 1682621547109.jpg (19.54 KB, 580x548, agent k.jpg)

Why even bother making a message board for lesbians when they're parroting troon logic? Jesus Christ.

No. 324001

The worst part is that they have the nerve to say butches are sexist because they are conforming to gender roles. But for some reason femmes are perfectly okay for them.

No. 324011

lchat is hilarious they have another brand of unhinged women there and i love them kek. i mean you all are always on guard about fakebians to the point of cross-examinating random lesbians so i guess the crazies at lchat have their own right to be paranoid about future male larpers. if you don't have sense of humor for lchat don't post there and shit up the place with your boring kind of insanity.

No. 324012

Tbf most of the posters themselves have no sense of humor

No. 324014

File: 1682624731250.jpg (46.94 KB, 854x237, ffwer.jpg)

yeah but i really love to see the different kind of paranoias and complexes collide kek and i have to give it to the high femme normies of lchat, some of you here really are obsessed with males in a way

No. 324015

File: 1682624879180.jpg (29.61 KB, 600x601, nice try tho.jpg)

No. 324016

The entirety of lchat is just as obsessed with scrotes

No. 324017

Holy shit someone please tell me this is just transbians larping, the obsession with femmes and seething hate for butches checks out.

No. 324019

Most of them are really women that hate troons, it’s always been like this

No. 324050

File: 1682635192877.jpg (364.65 KB, 2698x1368, ga.jpg)

From what I've seen lchat is a gossip fandom place that attracts a lot of south american/ESL-asian hyperfemininity worshippers who take breaks from stalking het actresses for signs of wuhluhwuh to enjoy trolling butches. Leftover right-wing/russian bots from the 2020 election (why target this obscure lesbian gossip site is anyone’s guess) and male regulars also contribute their most retarded analysis on these topics. Bihet radfems sometimes stray from troon containment thread to cry and attempt self-defense in bibashing/fakebian/PL threads. Everyone there is very mentally agitated. But there are normal users and good conversations in slower topics.
The other lchat is also funny, with the weirdest gossip you’ll ever hear about female celebrities: https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/l_anon/safe-haven-to-discuss-black-women-in-the-closet-yo-t3949354-s390.html (picrel about gillian anderson the supposed ass eating enthusiast) Way more entertaining than eye-contact-analysis Gaylor Swift-style delusion threads.

No. 324054

does anyone here know of a period tracking app that would let me (at least almost) completely avoid seeing things about fertility and pregnancy but is still detailed enough that i can get a good overview of the length of my past (irregular ass) cycles? clue is the best one out of the ones i've tried but i hate the 'potential fertile day' thing that can't be turned off. maybe i'm immature but it genuinely makes me uncomfortable for an app to use my input to tell me like, how fertile i am lol, but i still want to track my cycles

No. 324088

one of the best threads was when someone dressed their dead rat or a mouse in a princess dress and then gave it a cremation

No. 324116

yeah holy shit, i had just woken up when i saw the notif and had to do a double take, now i can't help but thinking the people behind it are trannies

No. 324148

Nonnie you'll be hard pressed to find a period tracking app that won't tell you your fertile window. I personally use flo since it's been a while and have the pregnancy features toggled off. You can also show disinterest in any threads talking about it too. Just know that the app is filled to the brim with women talking about their nigels so if you want to avoid that just don't touch the anon chat.

LGBT threads aren't safe either lol, filled with bihets talking about men too.

No. 324149

The person who manages their twitter is definitely a scrote. There are caps on /ot/, you be the judge.

No. 324150

Hate to be that guy but what does this have to do with lesbianism? There's a period thread right there, I'm sure they can help you out.

No. 324151

File: 1682664725943.png (2.9 KB, 177x284, 6xnv8DqjWwx1ef1bkAAAAASUVORK5C…)

it's a super basic period tracker and it's also privacy-safe. There's no mentions of fertility or pregnancy whatsoever. You can track sexual activity but you can turn that off in the settings menu.

No. 324165

Wait what, is this real

No. 324169

Scrolling through the unhinged Twitter posts from the past few days from the HER app account is really something else. I don't even think about that app anymore since I was never even able to find an actual woman to converse with there, I wonder if somebody higher up signed off on schizochan using the corporate account like a personal account or if it was hijacked by a stray employee lol.

No. 324174

Which thread?

No. 324178

same, I tried it for one day then uninstalled it just yesterday. The amount of women covertly looking for a third on there is unreal. No one is missing out on anything by not installing that worthless app. It felt like every third swipe I was finding someone who had married/taken and some flavor of bi/pan/curious in their bios. 50/50 on whether they'd mention their moid. If it wasn't them it was just straight/bi women on there only looking to make friends which, great but don't come on a lesbian dating app for it

No. 324187

No. 324241

Kek 200+ pages of nonstop shitflinging

No. 324246

Jesus Christ, it was only one page long when I posted that link yesterday. Even NEETs don't schizopost this much.

No. 324254

Samefagging but I just skimmed the whole thread and it's incredible how many posters think we're copying men. If I was copying men I wouldn't iron my clothes, get my suits tailored, co-ordinate my outfits, dress appropriately for the occasion, have a skincare routine, shower twice a day, etc etc etc. It's literally just a fucking preference, I've never copied a moid in my life. I've seen reddit troons grasp gender non-conformity better than these women. Sad!

No. 324261

Sorry I meant to say 200+ posts.

No. 324273

NTA but yeah it was only one page yesterday when I saw that but christ, bitches really do hate them butches. I've always steered clear from Lchat because every time the topic came up and I checked the front page it always had schizo levels of fantasizing about female celebrities (like what >>324050 posted) and at least one active thread calling butches ugly trannies, nothing has changed I see.

But christ the people going "butches don't get beat up and assaulted for being butch, they get assaulted for being women so stop your whining!" when the topic is specifically the violence GNC women, straight or not, face due to their masculinity being provocative to men due to its traditionally homosexual implications gets my blood boiling hard. Sorry for blogging but the anon in that thread mentioned the case of getting beat up by men because "if you want to be a man, then fight like one" got me because this actually happened to me when I was a teenager. Random boys would come up to me to challenge me to a fight and start throwing fists just because they wanted to "put me back in my place".

It reminds me of all those times when sporty style butches are called pedos because they apparently "want to look like teenage boys" like loose shirts and ripped jeans was some genderbent nymphette fashion. It's just thinly veiled homophobia.

No. 324281

I understand being weary of lesbians who wear men's clothes and bind their breasts because most of them are just undercover FtM trannies waiting to come out as men or they/them. It doesn't help that so many famous butch lesbians ended up coming out as men and young butches practically worship them.

No. 324293

I love how clear it is from your responses here that you did not properly read and take to heart any of the actual advice given to you in the last thread. I don't know if you assumed people were just getting riled up and dogpiling you or what, but seriously consider why you got/get the responses you've been receiving and make a change instead of continuing, as you clearly still are, to focus on the same things that people ragged on you for in the last thread.

No. 324296

After seeing so many of you talking about it I took a look and L chat has one of the ugliest interfaces I've ever seen. Every single time you open a thread pr page it forces you to do a captcha. It's near unusable in the state it's in. Does anyone actually enjoy it there?

No. 324339

I dont understand also I am taking steps to improve myself you dont need to be so rude about it

No. 324345

And how would you feel about the claim "I understand being weary of femme lesbians who look entirely straight passing because they might be bihet fakebians"? It's just as retarded.

No. 324382

There’s no such thing as an “undercover tranny” you moron. The trans identity isn’t innate, it’s socially influenced and butch lesbians are being encouraged to transition and identify as men. You’re just inventing reasons to hate butch women at this point.

No. 324391

Yes, binding is suspect as it's dangerous and typically indicative of an idolisation of the male body. But men's clothes? I wear men's clothes because I prefer them and they fit me better, simple as. What is it about preference that you don't understand? As for the "undercover tranny" business, unless you're not in the west, I see no reason for a butch to be "undercover FTM". I live in the UK and I can guarantee you that if I transitioned I would live a better life. Troons are the most sacred of protected classes, masc women (yes, even the straight ones) are treated like shit and routinely ignored. When we're attacked we're told that's what we get for "pretending to be men", when we're lonely we get told that butches are predators so of course people don't want to be near us, when we have mental health issues we're offered trooning out as a solution to a society that refuses to accept us, in the workplace we often don't get "front of house" positions because of our looks. I could go on, but you get the picture. So why would someone be an "undercover FTM"? To get a girlfriend? Go read the previous threads and see how our dating lives are - those of us that aren't completely isolated, that is. Again, transitioning would also be beneficial in this respect. Putting "he/they" in a dating bio would do wonders, it shows that I'm pigeonholing myself like a good little member of society and I'd be up to my neck in bihets as a result.

No. 324392

Because if you tell a het woman you don't want a fertility alert she has a pretty high likelihood of going WHY NOT WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT STOP BEING SENSITIVE etc. It's okay if anon wanted to ask fellow lesbians.

Being treated like an endangered retarded species that is bound to troon out is one of the reasons butches troon out btw. It's exhausting being questioned on your gender identity constantly even by actual lesbians. You're looking for reasons to have a problem with butches.

No. 324399

I mean, my tomboyish gf would surely wear binder, if it wasn't dangerous, uncomfortable and associated with fakebois. She has a curvy, very feminine figure, but is slim and short, so baggy men's clothing isn't gonna work for her. She'd definitely love if regular men's clothes fit better and could do without showcasing her boobs too much. So I still think someone wearing a binder doesn't necessarily mean she wants to troon out.

No. 324404

Do you know where I can learn more about the struggles masc women experience? It’s difficult to find information about this online.

No. 324406

NTA but I have a couple suggestions if you don't mind. I'm slim, short curvy and butch. I wear neutral looking women's clothes for the most part but sized up and some men's clothing from stores that offer small enough sizes to not swallow me. It works just fine, though I don't have massive breasts. I do think large breasts don't really take away from the appearance of a masc woman, we are women afterall. If she's worried about looking stubby as a shorty I recommend getting a short haircut, it makes the head look smaller which makes the body seem longer in comparison. One thing though, if she's in the mentality that to look good as a short person with her shape, she has to cinch the waist… she does not have to. I say that because in my baby butch days I thought I had to wear certain things or "look fat" and it was so stupid in hindsight kek.

No. 324410

NTA but as a butch I sometimes wear a binder because some masc clothes look better on top of it and I just like the aesthetics of a flat chest, yet I'm not going to troon out or cut my tits off. People wear corsets and shapewear to accentuate their features so binders shouldn't be any different. The "she'll transition anyway so why bother respecting her!!!" is the most retarded excuse to hate on butches I have heard to this day.

No. 324423

Ah. Starts out with compressive sports bras bc they're more comfortable than real bras, gets used to it so it's not enough steps up to binder bc it looks better, doesn't want you to touch her breasts bc it's not her thing. Thinks she got sway with it and steps up from loose shirts and pants from the woman's section to mens's section clothes and underwear bc they fit better demonstrating that she is delulu about her female body being male and fit for male measurements. Gets or already uses a unisex nickname. Stops you from touching her bc she wants to be on top but really just doesn't want you touching her vagina bc it grosses her out and reminds her she's female. Starts talking about kinks and tries to talk you into using a strap on on you. Calls you small minded for not being turned on by a plastic cock and being put off by her touching it and refusing to let her put it in you. You catch her wearing the strap on in her pants when out an about. Claims it's because she wants to be ready to fuck you at any moment but not with her own body or allowing you to have sex with her, she wants to use a plastic cock. Tries to lie it's just a harmless butch thing* and accuses you or being small minded for not being into cock roleplay. Troon out.

Good luck, anon. Once burned never again.

No. 324426

I find straps so offputting as a butch but I'm ok with you never ever dating one of us if you think this strongly as if you dated enough to have a sample size. You're generalizing off one experience that I'm sure you corroborate with other doomers on reddit and the like. Based retard.

No. 324432

AYRT and honestly, no. Finding community as a masc woman is hard, so I can't imagine how hard it is trying to learn about us without post-modern queer bullshit shoehorned in. The only advice I can give you is to find masc friends online to talk to (easier said than done, I know), but if you have any questions in the meantime, I'll answer what I can for you.

Yeah and I've hooked up with and dated femmes who were pillow princesses that would only have sex if I took the active role and played the stone butch for them because they would not touch female genitalia. Two of these femmes ended up dating men down the line, with one even marrying her Nigel, and another had a secret tumblr full of pictures of male actors and smutty m/f fanfiction. Better write off all femmes too, nonny! Can't be too careful! Retard.

No. 324437

>would only have sex if I took the active role
Not being able to have sex is always a red flag for mental issues.

No. 324446

Are there any actual pillow princess lesbians? It’s hard to imagine how you can be attracted to women without feeling the desire to touch them. I struggle to even conceptually imagine it.

No. 324448

Binding is fucking stupid but so is making all these assumptions out of nothing. Anon didn't even say her gf wears one, just that she would if they weren't dangerous and uncomfortable and associated with fakebois.
I feel the same way, like maybe I just don't get it because I do understand being stone but it just doesn't compute to me.

No. 324455

Anon, it's completely okay if you don't want to date butches. Assuming they're all Aiden eggs ready to troon out and being extremely unempathetic to the reasons why they do isn't.

No. 324456

Yep, wish I learned that sooner.

The ones I've encountered were older, 30s-40s. The one I dated was late 30's when I was 19. My friends tell me it was an abusive relationship, but I think I was just naive and eager to please due to the alienation of being a weird butch woman with autism and not many friends. Now that I'm older and a tiny bit wiser, I do wonder about pillow princesses "true" sexuality. If it's some sort of reaction to trauma from men or something. I used to think I was stone until I realised it was just a whole lotta internalised misogyny and lesbophobia, so I wouldn't be surprised if pillow princesses also had some mental fuckery going on.

No. 324459

Wtf nonna, you were barely an adult and those women were old enough to be your mothers… I thought trauma from men could often cause aversion to touching men, but not aversion to touching women. Im sorry you were treated like that.

No. 324462

>NTA but as a butch I sometimes wear a binder because some masc clothes look better on top of it
Also, I bind because I have a complicated relationship with my breasts because of CSA. Years ago I did consider trooning out but realized that mutilating my body wouldn't erase what happened to me and it's better to stop punishing myself instead because none of it was my fault. Going on a bit of a tangent here, but I read somewhere that many FtMs are also CSA or other SA victims.

No. 324464

Thank you, nona. But it wasn't that bad, I know it sounds bad, but I was like a moth to a flame with these older women. To no one's surprise, I have mother issues. Like I said, the general consensus of those close to me is that it was abuse, but I don't think so. I know people who've suffered far worse. What matters is that I'm now happily married to a woman my own age (born on the same day, no less) and I've finally worked through my issues and have a good, healthy relationship and no sexual hang-ups like being stone. I'm one of the lucky ones, really.

No. 324529

A lot of lesbian posts I see, mostly on twitter, are focused a lot on the negativity of what being a lesbian is, like discrimination, trannies entering our spaces, constant erasure, etc. it always bums me out to read, cause it makes me feel like being a lesbian is something full of negativity and a burden on my life, something that I can’t control that brings a lot of sadness.

But I wanna talk about the happy parts of being a lesbian sometimes. I love women, and I’m glad that I can see a deeper beauty in them that a lot of people don’t see. I love seeing lesbian couples who grow old together, and start families. I just feel like a lot of negativity exists because being a lesbian is extremely difficult in places like where I live, and there’s so little lesbian joy to be found

No. 324540

I'm not I'm going to get banned form this but I'm drunk and I don't care. the worst thing I've done is falling in love with a big girl

i fuckin hate it

No. 324544

Big as in fat or as in autocorrected from bi?

No. 324546

bi girl, sorry

No. 324549

What did she do to you?

No. 324590

File: 1682868847592.jpg (83.73 KB, 640x652, tumblr_08c7201e64a191966918043…)

I've pivoted to lesbian joy last year, it was a deliberate decision to overcome the barrage of doomer energy both online and offline. It was a great thing to do because although I come from an extremely homophobic shithole, I've never wanted to change my orientation (not that one can). I've always loved that I'm a lesbian and that I'm able to love women the way I do. I love the way our bodies fit together, I love my unique perspective on the world, I love the friendships I make with women like me. I would never trade it for anything. I also love to see elderly lesbian couples, or any more mature lesbian that's butch like me and thriving. Some of my lesbian friendships were too focused on complaining about trannies and bisexuals and I slowly let those go because I truly don't care about these groups and don't think letting them dominate my thoughts would be healthy for me. Now I have fewer friends but we cultivate lesbian joy and elevate each other.

No. 324604

File: 1682872879944.jpg (185.84 KB, 1080x1570, Screenshot_20230430_173222_Red…)

Came across this on the r/actuallylesbian sub. Any opinions? Picrel

Personally I feel that pillow princesses aren't really into women. It's so pathetic to want to receive pleasure and not reciprocate. I don't trust any women who call themselves a pillow princess. Sounds like someone lazy and boring.

No. 324605

lesbianism is inherently feminist as it lets you imagine a way of living without men which is terrifying for men since that means they can be replaced and horrifying for women as it means they could have a relationship without male abuse

No. 324613

Kind of hate the idea of lesbianism being seen as inherently political in any way but unfortunately that’s how a lot of society sees it.

No. 324615

I just read through some of this subreddit and it’s lovely. I’m surprised it hasn’t been banned yet?

No. 324619

I agree. Lesbianism is a sexuality, nothing more nothing less.

No. 324633

Lesbianism isn't inherently political, but you'd be hard pressed to say that most lesbians didn't actively participate in separatism (in the way of male friendships) or weren't feminists. Associating radical-aligned positions with lesbianism isn't the worst stereotype and I even personally find it quite apt, but I agree with other anons that lesbianism is simply a sexuality.

No. 324643

No it's not. Lesbianism isn't some female separatist idea, plenty of us still have men in our lives that we just aren't romantically or sexually involved with. Treating it as some form of feminist movement centered around segregation and independence from males is what draws in male-repulsed political lesbians who will never touch a vagina that's not theirs and will start reshaping and redefining lesbianism as their personal safe space movement. It already happened once and we're still dealing with the ripples of that. A lot of lesbians are feminist, but lesbianism isn't a form of feminism in itself.

No. 324647

Trans shit is allowed but from what I've seen it gets downvoted and for some reason the sub doesn't seem to have a lot of traffic in general

No. 324683

File: 1682909505903.jpg (354.02 KB, 2560x1440, tac0qc3weawa1.jpg)

Apparently the people behind HER alienated their users on Lesbian Visibility Day by posting scrote-tier shit and is now suspended from Twitter indefinitely.
Picture not mine, it's from here: https://www.reddit.com/r/cislezlife/comments/12zyhwx/previouslylesbian_dating_app_her_had_a_meltdown/

No. 324688

Samefag. I stand corrected. They were banned for only 24 hours and it was because they threatened to dox women using whatever could be "hacked" from their LinkedIns. Classy. Legitimate news outlets are saying they were suspended for being "transfriendly" but OP states this was the real reason. No screenshots or other means of proof though, but many Redditors on separate posts discussing the suspension mentioned HER posted this threat, some calling it a joke.
Apparently this same near-Schizo posting behavior, as someone in the Reddit replies called it, was exhibited on their TikTok. Users of HER also got an anti-TERF rant as a notification.
CEO, Robyn Exton, also posted this: https://weareher.com/lesbian-visibility-day-2023/
>These rad-fems create a ruckus on Twitter, Giggles, AfterEllen, and pretty much any platform that skips a basic background check before hiring them.
>Queer activists, radical groups like the Lavender Menace, and the Stonewall Riots of 1969 helped our community reclaim “lesbian” as a powerful and empowering identity.
>So now you have people like the lady of transphobia herself, J.K. Rowling, as the face of a hateful, noisy movement.
>Millennials and Gen-Z are increasingly skipping over the “lesbian” label because of its rising association with anti-trans views. Instead, opting to identify as “gay” and “queer.”
>I genuinely believe that we’re seeing more and more young people come out and exist outside the gender binary because of the efforts so many have made in deepening our acceptance of all people and varying identities.
>The future of lesbians is trans. It’s non-binary. It’s inclusive. If this is a threat to you, if an inclusive intersectional future is a threat to you, please, at this point, just take it back to TERF island and lament your fragile egos there.
>I created HER because I wanted a dating app made for queer people, by queer people. From day one, our mission has been to establish a secure, inclusive, and intersectional haven where queer women, nonbinary and trans folks can flourish.
>FLINTA, you can be whoever you want to be!

No. 324694

File: 1682914046068.png (33.01 KB, 564x780, image.png)

Samefag x2, she also posted picrel and apparently isn't a lesbian she says she's Bisexual.
Further discussions can be read here in this article:
>The way lesbians are policed and taught to police each other – to make sure we are accommodating and inclusive of the sex we aren’t attracted to – is absolutely a symptom of our disempowerment. Heterosexuals are not being burnt at the stake over their exclusive attraction to the opposite sex. It’s naturalised and normalised, not “exclusionary.”
People also complained about how going schizo about the terven menace to the point of joking about pedos to pwn them just turned Lesbian Visibility Day to a day that revolved around TERF this and TERF that by endlessly seething about them without warning.

No. 324697

It will be if people don't stop posting it/other subs here with the name uncensored.
In the past they used to specify in the sidebar that the sub was for discussing sexuality and not gender and that anything not on topic would be removed. Which was how they could get away with removing trans shit. These days the sidebar says that they'll remove your comment if you say tif/tim/terf and that "invalidating" or policing someone else's gender is not allowed. I've seethed about this before but there is a whole brigade of moids who lurk lcf and as soon as someone posted the sub here it took a rapid turn for the worse. Most of the original group is still there and people downvote in silence but it's by no means as based as it once was. I've noticed some men trying (and failing) to integrate there as well, they try so hard to post like lesbians but inevitably mention their putrid dicks and then cry when they get downvoted.

No. 324706

>FLINTA, you can be whoever you want to be!
Are there apps for gay men that loudly proclaim FTMs are welcome and have staff/CEOs who go on rants about how vaginas are totally valid and any man who doesn't like them is TEHM?

No. 324858

Is it unusual for butch lesbians to take testosterone to present more masculine? I'm very isolated both online and offline from any type of LGBT community so I'm not sure if this is normal stuff for a butch to be thinking about. I would probably only stay on it long enough to get the effects I would like, which are the ones which happen the soonest and are permanent.

No. 324863

It's common but not normal. It is a sign of you needing therapy with a therapist who isn't dogshit about lesbianism which is most of them. I mean this as a dysphoric butch, though: do not take hormones, they are not fun juice.

No. 324869

Please do not take testosterone. It’s terrible for you. You will feel awful on it.

No. 324875

Thank you for your replies. It's very confusing to navigate this stuff while not knowing if it's a regular experience or not. I live in a rural area and the chance of getting a therapist like that is non-existent. I actually have been trying to make an appointment with "sex, gender, and relationship" psychologists for many months but in my country it's very, very difficult to get the appointment and I'm still waiting. I am also worried that they would try to insist I am trans and I would waste my money and time. Why do you think not to take hormones? I am extremely apprehensive about taking medication, especially something like hormones, but it's tempting because some of the effects I desire (deepening voice, clit growth, body/facial hair) are the permanent ones and I just have the idea that I can stop taking it after I get those if it doesn't feel right to be on it. By the way I am in my 30s, this isn't something I just came up with yesterday and it has been a life-long issue that I haven't been able to relieve so far. And as I get older this type of dysphoria only seems to get worse.

No. 324881

What about your voice? For some people their voices changes very fast and it can happen before the other changes you mention. You can't predict what's going to affect you how and when, and aside from fucking up your hormonal patterns, you could lose your hair or end up with painful periods later on. I've seen tifs talk about clit chafing and vocal pain in the ftm thread too. I mean I'm not going to make a huge list but there's a shitton of reasons not to. Plus whatever stigma you face as a butch lesbian will likely get worse unless you were to fully pass as a man and that doesn't sound like what you want to do.

No. 324883

Don't ever take testosterone or other masculinizing steroids. It's nothing like taking birth control. The effects of testosterone on your body are PERMANENT and will negatively affect your health for the rest of your life.

No. 324885

No. 324889

I mentioned deepening voice, that's one of the changes I would like. It's one of the reasons I am apprehensive too, because I don't want to get that "tif voice". I read that is more likely if you take testosterone over 30, but also that it could be alleviated by voice training. I think every change that I have read that testosterone normally causes is one I would be happy with, except balding obviously, but that's the one that should happen last and I would hopefully get any changes I like before that would happen and I could stop taking it then. Clit chafing sounds bad but one of the things I would like is clitoral growth and I suppose there isn't a way to obtain that without chafing, which is temporary from what I have read. You're right that I don't have any interest in passing as a man. I don't care at all if I get mistaken as a man (I already do) but "passing" as a man is not of any interest to me.

Do you know which effects are permanent and negatively effect health? That's by far the main reason I would reconsider taking testosterone. From what I have read it seems like none of the negative health effects are permanent, but I'm obviously worried about it. I know that negative health effects are downplayed for most medications.

She talks about
>voice deepening
>clitoral enlargement
>body/facial hair growth
>loss of period
and she says they are permanent except for the acne and loss of period. She took a whole bunch of performance enhancing drugs and not just testosterone. She also is continuing to take the drugs even with the side effects she experiences. She recommends for women not to take testosterone but it isn't clear from the video why specifically she recommends that. She obviously doesn't like the permanent masculinizing effects mentioned above but those are effects I would like.

No. 324894

I've been dating my girlfriend for nearly a year. She's a "be kind" type when it comes to queer shit and we had a few disagreements at the start of our relationship about it. Since then I've avoided the topic because our relationship is otherwise great and she's an amazing person. Yesterday out of nowhere she started talking about how annoying it is that our local lesbian group is "inclusive of basically everyone" then pivots to how kids are transitioning without sufficient safeguards. To top it off she said she thinks a lot of the nonbinary girls she sees at her work probably just hate gender roles and then she asked me why transitioning to a different gender is progressive but changing your race is not.

Lmfao my libfem girlfriend has terfed out behind my back, it's beautiful

No. 324895

I've seriously considered doing that for clit growth, even just a little (I don't have any visible clit and it really, really bothers me) but I'm already balding early due to bad luck and I know if I went on T even for a tiny bit all my hair would fall right out. I guess If I go totally bald one day I'll do it then, kek. I want to have a clit like everyone else, damn it.

No. 324913

Hormones aren't for body customisation, you're not a toy or avatar. Just because you have the option available to you doesn't mean you should, the pharmaceutical industry isn't ethical. I hope you can find peace with yourself.

No. 324920

Do NOT fuck with your hormones. I did (through diet) and 2 years later I still have issues and have to be on hormones and thyroid meds. Despite treatment, despite all of the issues not being permanent in theory my body and endocrine system still haven't recovered.

No. 324995

NTA but I have some FTM friends who have been on T for some time and they have reported vaginal atrophy and constant UTIs because of it, and if you happen to carry the male pattern baldness gene it will make you lose all of your hair and that process is irreversible. It also alters some of your bone structure for good and you might not like what you'll look like past that. Regarding health issues, testosterone significantly cuts your life span due to increasing the risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer and blood clots. It's just not worth it, nobody knows how your body will react to it. You might be sent to roid rage mode or the effects that you were up for in theory might not be as pleasing to you in practice.

My girlfriend did the reverse, she went from full TERF to "live and let live" due to some of her friends identifying as nonbinary and now she openly hates on JKR. I decided it's for the best if I just don't bring the subject up with her because it ends up with us having an argument about it. She knows how I feel about the issue and respects that and that's enough for me.

No. 325001

I'm sorry nonna, but you've got to leave her. If it comes down to either her or the dog, which is where it looks like this is inevitably headed, she's going to pick the dog 100% of the time.
I know going back into the dating scene can be intimidating but it's better to find someone you're actually compatible with than stick with someone who youre obviously not just because you've sunk a lot of time into the relationship already.

No. 325045

>My girlfriend did the reverse, she went from full TERF to "live and let live" due to some of her friends identifying as nonbinary and now she openly hates on JKR. I decided it's for the best if I just don't bring the subject up with her because it ends up with us having an argument about it. She knows how I feel about the issue and respects that and that's enough for me.
Yikes, nonny! Doesn't your girlfriend know that if a person associates with TERFs in any way they're a white supremacist? How does she live with herself!?

No. 325064

You might be surprised to hear that outside of imageboards and twitter slapfights people can disagree about things without going full sperg mode about it. I have plenty of friends who support trans people but are for example very able to recognize that a lot of butch lesbians are pigeonholed into becoming FTMs due to homophobia and restrictive gender roles and that AGPs are a pox on female rights. Most people fall somewhere in the middle about the whole issue.

No. 325095

I'm just teasing. I live in a very blue city in a very blue state and the local PTA challenged the school board when they tried to add gender identity books to the k-12 program. Many of the parents thought the books "sent the wrong messages to their kids." It made locals news but these sort of stories never catch onto national news because, as I said, I live in a blue state. Florida and other red states get all the attention for opposing extreme views but it really happens all over the country. On a whole, I don't think most Americans believe in tranny ideology.

No. 325098

File: 1683074605903.png (371.26 KB, 741x746, pn.png)

(from pink news)

No. 325102

Is this that retarded shit about bisexual lesbians again? I want to shoot myself.

No. 325114

it's about 'non-binary lesbians', retard

No. 325117

nta but chill out what's your issue?

No. 325143

It's like polilez all over again. Truly, the circle of lesbian life.

No. 325149

My god this gets my blood boiling like you wouldn't believe it. It's textbook polilez shit to call lesbianism as "freedom to be anything women would like to be" and I'm fucking done with it. Yes, it's liberating to not have to base your life around being attractive to men but we still live in a Society and lesbians are subjected to misogyny and male expectations just the same, and we're considered the lowest of low value women because we're not sexually available to men and we're made to pay for it.

This entire article is a fucking tragedy. Pink news has always been 100% about trannies and the bihet handmaidens kissing their asses but this "L word is magic!" is just the most insufferable trash that I have seen. I hate political lesbians and they do way more harm than good, and I hate the entirety of politicizing lesbianism. Words can't describe the jealousy I feel for gay men who can be Aiden-exclusionary all they want and people will rather pretend "TEHMs" don't exist than confront them because nobody gives a shit about FTMs (as they're women).

>“It can make straight people recoil a little bit. Like they suddenly start thinking about the kind of sex you have, but the more people worry about it, the more I think it’s important to use the word,” says Lilly Alter.

Outright admitting that they're weaponizing lesbianism as a label to shock the status quo like a bunch of teenagers. The histrionic women giving statements like these are the kind who will get mad when you don't like them bringing their Nigel everywhere and accuse you of denying their queer identity for being exclusive of heterosexual lesbians.

No. 325201

>Yes, it's liberating to not have to base your life around being attractive to men but we still live in a Society and lesbians are subjected to misogyny and male expectations just the same, and we're considered the lowest of low value women because we're not sexually available to men and we're made to pay for it.
ty for putting this into words because it's exactly how I feel every time some shitbag says "teehee I wish I was a lesbian because it'd be so much easier!!!" Bitch just stop dating men!!! Nobody is forcing you to date men and it's not like men respect lesbians, we still get sexually harassed and assaulted and spoken down to like straight women. It drives me insane. It's incel logic, they think lesbians are living life on 'easy mode' since we don't have to date men. So they see boundaries and exclusion as privileged lesboids punching down on the poor oppressed het larpers.

No. 325236

File: 1683134714502.jpg (67.02 KB, 540x399, lesbianmomsaregreat.jpg)

Bumping because of raid.
Also want to take this time to say that I love being a lesbian. It can be very hard and isolating at times but finding community is worth it.

No. 325238

I love the thread pic, my wife is 7 months pregnant, and I can’t wait to be a mom with her. It still feels so surreal, that she’s carrying a baby that’s gonna be ours, that we’re gonna raise into a beautiful young lady.

I wonder where the baby in this picture is now, I don’t know any adults irl who were raised by lesbian moms. I’m in a few lesbian mom groups though, and I see a lot of happy children being raised by lesbian moms. I’m glad women like the thread pics fought for women like myself and my wife to have children :)

No. 325257

>"teehee I wish I was a lesbian because it'd be so much easier!!!"
Yeah every time I hear this I want to ask them where's my Female Only Island passport I was supposedly going to get as a lesbian. I'm not exempt from misogyny or sexual harassment committed by men at all, and will never be. In addition to that I have to deal with homophobia from straight women so I guess that evens out the "but we have to date our oppressors so we have it worse!" claim.

No. 325259

So happy for you and your wife, nona! My wife and I are currently trying for a baby and I can't wait for motherhood. My wife is in a few lesbian parenting groups too and the pictures she shows me honestly give me hope. I know how schmaltzy that sounds, but it's true. For so long being a lesbian has been this horrible curs for me but now it's bringing me so much joy in my marriage and our family plans. I wish you, your wife and baby all the best, nona. God bless.

No. 325271

Bi lurker here, but:
>They wanted the same dynamics of a het relationship and some even got mad at my friends when they were "too feminine" (read: expressed feelings).
I am not febfem (yet), but I am the opposite of that. Not only have I prefer GNC moids and feminine women (mostly in personality than aestethics 4 both), I also always hated the “male/active vs. female/passive” kind of relationship dynamics.

>>323544 >>323553
>I have almost started to doubt bisexuality is a real thing
I wish it wasn't, lmao. But it's real and I've known that since I was a kid. The thing is:
1 - While gays and lesbians have to choose between suffering homophobia or loneliness, bisexuals have the possibility to have both a “straight-passing” life and with someone they really love and are attracted to.
2 - OSA people are more common than SSA people, even more if compared to SSA people who are not in the closet.
3 - Women are socialized to center scrotes in their lives, and this is harder to deconstruct when you are OSA.
4 - There are some bi women who have a strong preference and/or are married to women who come to describe themselves as lesbians. In my country, for exemple, there is no concept of "febfem" and polilez discourse is still a thing in radfem circles, so there a lot of fakebians here.

No. 325273


No. 325277

So what is the difficulty in understanding why most OSA women comply? Because that was the context and it matters.

No. 325279

The context was anons experience with febfems, the rarity of lesbians, and how most bi women are either strongly attracted to men or strongly attracted to women. No one was questioning why bihets bihet.

No. 325284

Why does tiktok of all places lure in the most amount of fakebians?

No. 325290

Just shut the fuck up.

No. 325303

We already know bihets have the ability to (and always choose to) take the easy way out and partner with some unwashed scrote. It's really aggravating how lesbians congregate to talk about how it can be lonely to experience exclusive same sex attraction and that we lack solidarity with bis because they always partner with men, and then people like you just HAVE to butt in about your own "experiences". We don't need to be explained to about how easy you have it. We already know this from the way you all always choose moids. Lucky for you. Now fuck off. Lesbians in this thread have been much too kind to the occasional bi lurkers who drop in, and this is what we get.

No. 325304

Why is it every time I come here to the lesbian thread people are talking about bisexuals, fakebians, and moids? Enough already.
I'm happy for you anons, that's wonderful and I wish you all the success with your families! My wife and I are always talking about having kids one day, we're not financially there yet but we'll get there eventually. Hearing about other gay couples who have children gives me so much hope and motivation.

No. 325305

Samefag but you really thought this was the thread to talk about, however briefly, your preference in moids? And kek at
>I am not febfem (yet)
And you won't be, so stop with the cope. Everyone already knows how your kind operates.

No. 325307

Literally nobody asked.
Congrats! I know a lesbian family IRL who are great parents. Wishing you the best.

No. 325331

I can't help getting so upset that I'm a lesbian, knowing that if everything about me was the same but I could feel alright being with a man and living the "traditional" life, things would be so much smoother for me. I genuinely feel resentment towards my straight friends. I know that they still have their own difficulties, but at least those difficulties (not the extreme ones like abuse) are accepted and supported by peers. I'm just so tired. I don't want to be different at all. But there's no ambiguity about it– I could absolutely never be with a man, as much as I've had opportunity and know I would be happier living that life. I hate knowing that I have to work harder to find relationships and that I'll always be othered… This rant makes no sense but I'm so sick of it and depressed over it.

No. 325332

Probably a bisexual lesbian.

No. 325348

Honestly, this one was just especially retarded in her bisplaining why bihets lean towards the opposite sex like we didn't know the reasons or it was even some question being discussed here. Of course they would rather pick the opposite sex, why the fuck wouldn't someone want to conform or pick from a bigger litter if they had the opportunity? We're painfully aware of it.

No. 325361

File: 1683187432939.png (243.28 KB, 353x805, crickets.png)

Why do lesbians on western social media have the worst sense of humor? This type of image was funny one time, but it's like this is the only lesbian meme that exists to them. Is it because they're not allowed to be edgy, lest it offend a scrote?

No. 325364

File: 1683188066131.jpg (33.76 KB, 760x680, Fuvgc0kWIBQdhN3.jpg)

Samefag as >>325361. I liked this one, posting it here in case another anon likes it too.
Anyone have any good lesbian joke pictures they want to share? I've been on the hunt for them, but haven't found much. So much that is labeled as "lesbian memes" are milktoast to a sickening degree and/or anti-lesbian crap.

No. 325374

Because the people making these are literal teenage girls who think they're lesbian because they're virgins and/or think it's just a cute label for girl friendship.

No. 325384

The sunset flag is ugly

No. 325407

NTA but I agree. Labrys flag or GTFO.

No. 325627

I haven't seen any at all except what you described either. I guess this means we have to do it ourselves, like so much else

nta but who cares. I like the labrys flag too but no one outside of lolcor knows wtf it is and if they do it's some political dogwhistle kek.

No. 325642

Nta but
>I like the labrys flag too but no one outside of lolcor knows wtf it is
are you fucking joking lol

No. 325665

Seconding >>325642 … It's a well-known flag, the labrys flag and the original all-pink flags were what I knew as the lesbian flags long before the internet made me aware of the sunset flag.

No. 325666

File: 1683259047421.jpg (48.58 KB, 485x570, Tumblr_l_10716968354088.jpg)

I disagree. The labrys flag is pretty well known all things considered outside of Twitter, at least in the USA. Labrys has been a lesbian symbol since the 70s (again, at least in the USA) so many, many different sorts of people associate the symbol with lesbianism even if they don't remember why. More lesbians worldwide associate themselves with the labrys flag over the sunset one, since they're more in tune with their own inner turmoil (thus, the labrys,) and less concerned about fitting into some "community" "online" full of people they only share a sexuality with (if that.)
The over-adoption of the sunset flag and the shunning of the labrys one over stupid shit just feels like ageism more than anything else tbh.

No. 325710

Anon who made this comment here. I am in therapy now but I still feel distant from my friends. I don't feel insecure about my sexuality but it's because I tried to replicate the same thing with a different man. It just made me feel like throwing uo and made me angry that a scrote took advantage of me like that when i couldn't consent. Even looking back the way I did it felt like I was doing a chore. No passion, no love just trying to get it done and over with, I couldn't even kiss him. Not the same as when I hooked up with a woman at a club and genuinely enjoyed it.
And if any nonnies ask why as a lesbian i would even do that. I was never interested in hooking up or experimenting with guys before i got raped. It's why I've been single and waiting for a chance to date women in a safe space. But after I got raped I had to make sure. My mind was making me feel hypersexual as a trauma response. Even though hooking up with that guy made me feel so sick, I do not regret it because it assures me that I would've never consented to that and what happened was in fact rape. Yes it was a very unhealthy way to confirm it but I have no regrets. I wouldn't recommend anyone doing it though, the sickness I felt after hooking up with that guy was just the same as how I felt after getting raped.

No. 325712

Samefagging tw sexual abuse trauma

No. 325717

Their problem is they want all homophobia discussions to center around them even when they choose to have exclusively het relationships. I've heard them say it's literally erasure!!! to call those relationships straight and not queer~. I'm just over how we still don't have full equality when it comes to marriage, family laws etc. But we still have to center everything around women/men in exclusively het relationships because one is either bi or says they are enby.

No. 325727

NTA but one of the worst mistakes of my life was dating a woman like this. She'd say shit like she could never be in a straight relationship because she's bi so every relationship she has is queer. Even when I told her the word queer makes me deeply uncomfortable she wouldn't stop labelling our relationship as that. Honestly, given her avoidance of the term "lesbian relationship" and other things, I think she's lesbophobic. She was seemingly only attracted to my masculinity (she literally thinks I'm a closeted FTM) and whenever I would speak about lesbian issues she would shut me down and say she has it worse because people assume she's straight and puts out easy (even though she's described herself as slutty quite openly). Fem bi women are a blight on lesbiankind.

No. 325731

She is a bird brain literally every woman has the expectation to give men sex and is harassed for it including lesbians! Men literally define womanhood as people they fuck. They show it by dehumanising women they're not attracted to and objectifing women they are. I find it funny how they are touchy about lesbian labels but have no problem using gay labels/language.

No. 325785

Nobody should judge you for a trauma reaction, although I'm sorry that you had to experience anything similar again. I'm glad that you're in therapy and I do hope that it helps you. Something I've personally found very effective if you need more intensive aid is EMDR therapy, it sounds hoaxy but has worked for me and multiple others I know. It is a very exhausting process for the effect it has, though, so be warned.

No. 325787

I orefer the power and symbolism of the labrus flag over the vagueness of the now common sunset flag, which requires you to look up the color meanings or have them explained to you.

No. 325810

If I remember correctly, wasn't this sunset flag created because the lesbian who designed the pink flag got doxxed, harassed, and bullied by TRAs because she's a TERF?

No. 325813

Not TERF allegations, but rather racism and biphobia.

No. 325836

Biphobia is just common sense tbh.

No. 325841

It's sad how women keep going back into the lion's den. Courage to you.

No. 325860

No. 325864

Go skim the previous threads for multiple anons - butches especially - experiences with bi women. There's good bi women out there, sure, but the majority are nightmarish handmaidens who will belittle your sexuality and the homophobia you experience while crying the blues about people thinking they're straight. They will cape for troons while they tell you that "genital preferences" can be unlearned. They'll want you to play the man lite role until a moid they're interested in comes along. These are all common experiences for the lesbians I know both on and offline. If you want a good relationship with someone who gets you, it's better to wait for another lesbian.

No. 325894

File: 1683320389366.jpg (120.55 KB, 1255x1197, the truth is.JPG)


>>325864 is right. Bi women are a waste of time. I have a bunch of personal stories but research more than proves the point. Date one and guaranteed she'll always leave you for a man because "men are easy."

No. 325944

I still think about how my dad tried to pressure me into a het relationship growing up by telling me that, "there's no such thing as friendship between a man and woman" every time he knew I was hanging out with a male friend. All it really resulted in was me cutting off all of my male friends and becoming an even bigger lesbian, kek.

No. 325945

idk man lesbians these days are weaklings.

No. 325947

>"there's no such thing as friendship between a man and woman"
He's not totally wrong about that, nonnie. I've known plenty of men that got weird after hanging out with them for a while. They know I'm a lesbian but they still did stuff like sending strange texts at odd hours or act differently towards me when other men are around. There was a guy I met in college and went to parties with. We had a lot in common and the same type of humor so we always had fun. Our friend groups merged easily too. A little before graduation, he met a girl and they got serious. Not long after that he stopped hanging out with me, always making excuses for why we couldn't meet up. Not just for parties but to have lunch or go places like we used to. He continued to text me sporadically for about a year after we graduated, asking me about my life and "what I was up to", and then that was it. Last I heard was that he married the woman, I wasn't invited to the wedding. I doubt he would've just cut me off like that if I were a guy friend.

No. 325948

I actually agree with him and still go out of my way to avoid male friendships all these years later. The point was more that he intended this truth to push me past friendsbip into a romantic relationship with a man but it resulted in me removing men from my life instead.
I'm sorry to hear you've dealt with shitty moids like that, I've experienced similar things a couple of times over the years as well. It truly is best just to not associate with them and fewer reasons to is one of the few total benefits of being a lesbian IMO.

No. 325965

what kind of braindead reasoning is this? has it occurred to you that most people are straight so a bi woman's dating pool is 99% male? only 88% proves bi women prefer women over men

No. 325975

File: 1683371817588.png (53.23 KB, 941x843, 16072824505930.png)

Nta but kek, are we really going to spend the whole thread arguing about this shit again? Take your L and go to bi thread

No. 325976

Labrys looks ugly too though. I only like the all pink lesbian flag.

No. 325978

we wouldnt be doing it if you accepted that women not being attracted to you doesnt mean theyre not attracted to all women. do you get a boner from feeling superior to women you cant get because you sperged about how much you hate women and how they owe you sex?

No. 325987

NTA but anons have been talking about AVOIDING bi women. Trust me that we do not want to sleep with them or think that they owe us sex. Just stop and move the fuck on.

No. 326000

Nta but another day and another paranoid sperging about bi women kek y'all seethe about bi women more than bi women even think about you. Loser behavior.

No. 326012

Don't you have cum to drink and UTIs to develop bye girl

No. 326014

No. 326022

This coming from the bisexual sitting around seething on the lesbian thread instead of hanging out in the bisexual thread where she belongs.

No. 326042

Gross moid behavior

No. 326059

I have a question for the femme lesbians in the thread, specifically those who are OFOS. To you, what does it take to be a femme? This isn't necessarily an invitation to wax poetic, I genuinely want to know. Is it your appearance, your behavior, your sexual/romantic/social connection to butches and vice-versa? It seems like there are a lot of layers to identifying as a femme lesbian that I haven't been able to understand (from what I've observed). This is coming from a lesbian who is very detached from online lesbian spaces, feels very attached to the femme label, and is having a hard time learning anything of use from the web beyond cheesy tumblr posts and useless clickbait articles from dating apps.

No. 326065

so gross that you feel the need to announce your attraction to them in the lesbian thread go girl boss

No. 326066

typical bi behavior
showing up in homosexual spaces where you're not wanted, compulsively insulting us for not accommodating your bullshit, and revealing your true homophobic natures when you're told to fuck off

No. 326071

Like clockwork.

No. 326073

I just can't understand why they don't complain about all their oppression or whatever on the bisexual thread instead of invading this one. Why can't us lesbian complain/vent to each other without having people sticking their noses all the time?

No. 326087

Throwing someone with sexualized insults is gross moid behaviour. Grow up.

No. 326089

NTA have you never heard women call each other sluts before? Confirmed basement dweller lmao

No. 326093

I'm sure you love to call other anons on here cumguzzlers as well.

No. 326116

move the fuck on, she says, unable to go a day without obsessing over bisexual women

No. 326118

screeched the definitely not obsessed bisexual camping in the lesbian thread

No. 326120

Nta it's not really obsession to hurriedly type a response to a post that's on the first page of the board.

No. 326125

you are both retarded. shut the fuck up and be normal.

No. 326180

A tale as old as time, honestly. I believe that a friendship between a man and a woman could be possible but it's the male entitlement and chronic codependency that stands in the way. You can tell them you're a lesbian and not interested in men but then the 2 AM drunk texts start coming and they get weird and compliment your looks, and after they cut off contact entirely following a serious relationship you'll realize what they were up to all this time. I have male friends but I always have to keep them at an arm's length and constantly remind them about not being attracted to men and it does get exhausting. It's a shame because as much as I love women and hold my dearest and closest relationships with them I had a pretty masculine upbringing and sometimes I feel like my lack of female socialization makes it hard and frustrating to understand all the complex social codes, so an equal amount of my friends have always been similarly autistic men. In my experience gay men in a long-term relationship or are older than 25 are the lowest-risk males to befriend because at least you can trust them not to suddenly turn straight and confess their feelings to you.

I love this infograph because with pride month approaching again I'm seeing all the bihets crawl out of the woodwork going "what do we need pride for anyway" and "pride makes us all look bad!!" while dating their 5th consequent tall brown haired Nigel as if they ever had to really think about their sexuality and face the real life consequences of it.

For real though. I don't know how the hell they can look at the said infograph accompanied to a post saying "this is why we want to avoid bisexuals" and then screech about lescels being mad that they won't fuck them. It's like they want lesbians to supply them with an ego trip by desiring them while being unavailable and out of reach which to be fair is basically my experience with a lot of bisexual women.

No. 326185

Has anyone here been to the UK event Butch Please? Do you recommend it?

No. 326189

NTA but the thing for me with gay men is whether they're RPDR watching, "yass girl slay!" type guys. I know that sounds mean, but the way they treat women is revolting. I agree that older ones in long-term relationships are the safest bet. I do have one straight guy friend who's genuinely respectful of me and women in general, but he's an outlier who was raised very well by his parents. The exception that proves the rule, I guess.

I have friends who've gone and said they had a blast. There are Aidens, non-binary types and the odd transbian in attendance, but most are the chill type of troons who don't scream at you about it, apparently. My wife and I are thinking about attending Hot Butch Summer but kinda on the fence about it as we're boring rural lesbians at heart, lol.

No. 326192

I’ve seen pictures of the filled venue online and I want to go because there seems to be quite a few cute gnc women there but I’m not much of a party-goer. Btw I thought the term Aiden only referred to “gay” “men”?

No. 326196

Yeah, we're not really party goers either, which is why we're on the fence. It would be nice to go there and dance and not worry about what other people are thinking about us though, that's the main pull for me. In my experience, Aiden can be used for all FTMs, gayden is more used for the straight girls.

No. 326199

You said you are from a rural area? Do you and your wife experience homophobia in rural parts of the UK? Is this commonplace for lesbians there? Sorry if this is too personal, I’ve only been to rural-urban fringes at best so I’ve no idea what it’s like.

No. 326201

Don't worry, it's not too personal. It's actually not too bad here. I get worse treatment in cities, but I think that's because more people = more assholes, tbh. We get a few dirty looks and ofc young lads love to play the hard man and yell slurs. But I guess that's more misogyny, as I get a lot of shit because I'm butch and quite masculine looking for a woman anyway. The small town we live near and work in is actually on the up with more and more yuppies seeking refuge here, so it's surprisingly pretty chill and accepting of us most of the time. Do you live in a city, then? I've always found that worse IME as there's men hanging out in loads of places and like pack animals they get bolder the more of them they are. The one upside is having gay villages, just a shame I'm a recovering alcoholic and incredibly boring, lol. I hate how so many of our events revolve around drinking.

No. 326430

I live in a UK city and the number of lesbians I know seem to mostly ID as queer. Also feels like the number of people saying they're poly and politicising their sexuality has shot up in the last few years.

No. 326467

How do you know they’re lesbian if they say they’re queer?

No. 326493

AYRT and this is why I dread meeting city lesbians kek. Of course we need to be politically aware, but I'm so tired of it being woven into our sexuality like it's a political statement and not just something you're born as. I've noticed more poly bullshit lately too. My ex is now poly, which gave me a hearty chuckle considering she thought I was fucking every single woman I said more than two words to.

I'm assuming they're the type of lesbians that only date women while using queer to signal they're "one of the good ones" unlike us evil fascist dykes condemning transbians to a slow death by lack of pussy. In my experience, a lot of lesbians do that to avoid criticism, particularly the young ones.

No. 326495

>My ex is now poly, which gave me a hearty chuckle considering she thought I was fucking every single woman I said more than two words to.
Not surprising tbh, people most likely to cheat are usually hyperaware about their partner's movements and think they're cheating because they know they themselves would be tempted to do so i.e. full on projection. So chronically possessive people tend to flock to polycules so that they can gather a harem for themselves but blow a lid when their partners go and cheat on them.

No. 326633

How do you compliment a masc/gnc/butch woman’s appearance? Is it better to call her beautiful or handsome? How do you make sure she feels really attractive without making her uncomfortable?

No. 326639

Butches aren't a monolith, different strokes for different folks, etc etc etc. But personally, I fall to pieces when women call me handsome. I know some people see that as a male compliment, but I never got that. “Gorgeous” is good also. Complimenting our masculinity is a tightrope walk tbh because if you lean too hard into it, it's gonna make us feel like men lite. I think the key is to only say those compliments at the right moment and not overdo it. Godspeed with the flirting, nona.

No. 326669

NTA you replied to, but it didn't used to be this hard to be butch and accept compliments like handsome. I know what you mean, nowadays almost anything that acknowledges/praises the masc side of how I present makes me wonder how the other person thinks of me in terms of gender. "Man Lite" is too real.

On a different sort of subject, I feel increasingly doubtful whenever I get my hair cut at a barber. My barber is really cool, but whenever there's a guy in the chair next to me getting his hair cut I feel self-conscious. I like to experiment with my hair and recently got a mohawk. I worry that my barber and other patrons think I'm a TiM. Is this needlessly irrational and stupid, or does anyone else feel this way?

No. 326676

AYRT and yeah, I didn't used to be so self-conscious about being called handsome and pretty boy and similar compliments. I think the worst development has been the "step on on me" shit that spawned on social media. People will see a masc woman and just openly fetishise her for shits and giggles now. Makes me wanna a-log. Don't worry though, dude. I'm such a wimp I've never even visited a barber before. I'm VERY lucky that my wife used to be a hairdresser, and she also has training as a barber so she gives me great masc cuts. I have the same fear of barbers thinking I'm some sort of troon; I get enough questions as it is because of my height and build. There are those "gender affirming" LGBTQ+ hairdressers; where on the upside you won't be called a dyke or a tranny, but on the downside you will be asked for pronouns and how you identify which is the politically correct way of calling you a tranny. Before my wife I gave myself DIY cuts that were… questionable, kek.

No. 326678

Oof, I said TiM where I meant TiF, but you definitely got the gist of what I was saying.

I'm glad I'm not the only one! And that's awesome that your wife can cut your hair, it's one of those monthly expenses that sort of creeps up on you after a while, I've found. I tried an LGBT-friendly salon when I moved to the current city I reside in, and I received the most catastrophically un-textured, un-blended cut that I just gave up and said fuck it. Unfortunately I've been to way too many salons that just refuse to cut women's hair short unless it's a bob or the ole Midwestern Soccer Mom look.

No. 326681

Heyy my wife cuts my hair too anon. High five. I'm also a big wimp and I hate the salon/barber and even if she's not trained it still comes out looking pretty good so I haven't been in quite a few years now.
I have one guy friend as well and he's great but I still live in fear that one day he's gonna switch up on me lol

No. 326687

Thanks, gorgeous definitely works best as it’s rather gender neutral. I’m trying to be more blunt and forthcoming when it comes to expressing my interest in women (without being vulgar) because I know subtle flirting can often be more confusing than effective when it comes to lesbians. I hope this doesn’t come off as weird but reading through these threads has really helped me understand butch/masc women better, I used to have a couple of false and even negative assumptions about them so I’m really grateful to the nonas here for informing me of their struggles and experiences.

No. 326691

File: 1683578290555.jpg (190.15 KB, 1200x1200, textured-slick-back.jpg)

The soccer mom haircut you never asked for feels like a butch rite of passage, kek. So many friends I know had the exact same experience. I ended up buzzing all my hair off because of that. I think a buzzcut suits me well, but I have a scar on my head from surgery that I'm very self-conscious about, so now I get a cut similar to picrel. My hair is curlier and a little longer, though. Sorry to post a m*n but it's very hard to find that style with my texture hair. It's a good versatile cut, though. I slick it back for work and any formal event, and leave it kinda unruly when I'm dressed more casual. I know what you mean about the expenses. I wince every time I buy styling products, thank fuck I'm not paying for my haircuts on top of that.

High five! Maybe I'm being sappy, but it's a weirdly intimate ritual for me. Trusting your lover not to fuck your hair up is a sacred bond.

AYRT, when I was single, "gorgeous" was my go to compliment. Butch, femme or in-between, everyone likes being called gorgeous. I'm glad the threads have helped you, nona. They've helped me work through some negativity, too.

No. 326697

>Maybe I'm being sappy, but it's a weirdly intimate ritual for me. Trusting your lover not to fuck your hair up is a sacred bond.
NTA Anything that involves cleaning or grooming your lover is so sweet and primal in a way. It makes me think of birds nesting together and preening each others feathers lol.

No. 326711

Anyone else get a bit triggered when a very masculine-presenting woman turns out to not be lesbian? I know it’s stupid and women should be able to dress how they like but I feel… baited? It’s even worse when they’re sex workers or very openly sexual and they flaunt their preferences in your face. Some of these women are a part of those horrid “dyke tries cock for the first time” porn videos so that makes me feel a little better about feeling put off by them.

No. 326750

My gf has never called me handsome, she always calls me beautiful. I'd be more than a little excited if she called me handsome or something in that range but she's just not into it I guess. I've always had a soft spot for being called "fine", personally.

lol yeah as a butch I fucking hate seeing it even though I know it's probably good if het women normalize being masculine.

No. 326789

I'm >>326430 and yeah, this is what I meant. The women I'm talking about have only ever dated women and were openly lesbian up until the last few years. On the worst apps everyone is poly/"ethically nonmonogamous", "demisexual", vegan, leftist and has terfs and tories DNI in their bio as if the two tend to be even remotely connected.

No. 327003

AYRT, I feel the same way. I have sensitive, dry skin due to eczema and my wife makes me these amazing creams and soaps from natural products and the first time she presented me with a bar of soap she'd made I ended up crying lol. It seems so silly now, but it was the most thoughtful thing anyone's ever done for me. I love cooking too, as it's so much more than just feeding your partner. You can show them your culture, how your family might cook certain recipes, meals you learned to cook after having them on holiday. It's such a personal thing to share. These little domestic rituals are such pure displays of love.

I used to be annoyed as I thought they had it easy compared to me, and lesbians in general. But in the past few years I've met a lot of straight and bi masc women, and their lives are just as complex as ours. In different ways, sure. But we all get shit, and we all have a good amount in common. Given how socially isolated masc women often are, I think we're stronger together tbh. I know that sounds schmaltzy, but it's better than us rotting in our houses alone or worse, trooning out due to lack of support.

No. 327035

>my wife makes me these amazing creams and soaps from natural products
Any recipes so we can also make some for our gfs/wives?

No. 327039

It's all alchemy to me, but I'll ask her tomorrow and get back to you!

No. 327043

ime straight masc women are either extremely based and relatable or the absolute worst with very little middle ground. Some of them get so sick of being mistaken for lesbians that they start lashing out and blaming us for it. But the non-homophobic ones are cool, I knew a girl in high school like that and she was wonderful.

No. 327054

Thank you nona <3 I’ll be waiting

No. 327088

>Some of these women are a part of those horrid “dyke tries cock for the first time” porn videos so that makes me feel a little better about feeling put off by them.
Horrible thing to learn about
I've only met nice ones so far and they were work friendships but they were some of the nicest and coolest women I've ever met, I wish we had ended up hanging out outside of work before I left that place. Tough, supportive, kind, I have a hard time making friends but it felt like they went out of their way to talk to me.

No. 327189

How you deal with being deeply in the closet? I'm from a homophobic country and my family is pretty anti-gay too (except my mom) and I'm terrified of what they might think of me. It makes me think that I'm a disappointment and a failure, moreover I have hard time relating to other lesbians (including this very thread) and never was in a relationship. At this point I'm too afraid to try and a few other lesbians I chatted with online stated their dislike in the fact that I want to stay in the closet. I glad that other women can express their sexuality without a fear of judgement (in fact I saw couples holding hands or kissing in my very conservative city) but me… I can't. I'm just thinking about all those people in my life who are close to me and how disappointment they would be.

No. 328332

What's with moids who parade the fact that lesbian couples apparently have the highest abuse rate because lesbians and bisexual women have experienced more abuse in their lifetimes than straight women? Where does this statistic come from?
Do they seriously think the lesbians and bi women are abused by their female partners? Like maybe, just maybe, lesbophobia exists and they get corrective raped and abused for being attracted to women, maybe young lesbians get forced or groomed into opportunistic relations with men to protect themselves from further abuse.

No. 328911

Nonna hearing another lesbian has excema honestly makes me so happy! I've always worried about my skin condition scaring women away because mine is quite severe. I hope I can meet someone who would love me enough to help me with it when I can't manage.

I love hearing all of you talk about your relationships. I feel like I rarely hear about lesbians having great relationships outside of here and some friends.

No. 328955

move out and go lower contact with your family? maybe even move a few cities away from them?
It's fine to stay in the closet while you're not in the right environment but planning on staying there forever won't do you any good. making plans for the future made it easier for me to keep going.

also, disappointment is not forever. my parents went from crying, making a scene, trying to get me to change my mind, yelling etc etc to accepting my partner in just about a year.

No. 328997

I've also heard this statistic thrown around a lot and decided to look into it just now, and you're totally right.

According to the CDC, while lesbian and bi women do report higher rates of domestic violence, a lot of it is still done by moids: in a third of lesbian abuse cases and 90% of bisexual women's cases the perpetrators were male.
If you take moids out of the picture entirely and just look at women who are abused by their female partners, a different picture is painted entirely: as it turns out, domestic violence rates against women in heterosexual relationships are significantly higher than in same sex relationships.
In fact, when just looking at female perpetrators, the abuse rate for lesbians drops from 43.8% to 29.5%, and for bi women it drops from 61.1% to 6.4%. Contrast this with an abuse rate of 35% for hetero relationships. Obviously with bi women a lot of their relationships are not going to be same sex which skews the numbers, but that's beyond the point:
The problem here is scrotes being violent pieces of shit, not lesbians.

I know I'm preaching to the choir here but it was interesting to figure out the statistics for myself and realizing just how wrongly represented they often are.

No. 329006

File: 1684334430788.png (Spoiler Image,707.04 KB, 656x801, 2.PNG)

Nonas, what are your thoughts on women with tattoos? How common are lesbians with tattoos in your area?

No. 329013

I did not know this. So basically it all comes back to moids being violent huh? Do you have any references? I'm totally using this the next time a scrote brings that up.

No. 329032

The data is from The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: 2010 Findings on Victimization by Sexual Orientation (Walters, Chen, & Breiding, 2013), the pdf of which is available through https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_sofindings.pdf
The relevant figures can be found in table 3 on page 18 (or 24 if you go by total pages in the doc), and on page 27 (or 33). These detail the prevalence of domestic violence by sexual orientation and the reported sex of the perpetrators, respectively.
It's disgusting by the way how the figures are right there and a simple equation will tell you that it's the male perpetrators who make it seem like domestic violence is more prevalent in lesbian relationships, but somehow nobody cares to connect the dots.

Hopefully this'll be helpful to put some moid in his place next time it comes up!

No. 329035

I dunno what end of the butch-femme axis I align closer with, but the aspects of femme presentation I like most are: decoration (jewelry, painted nails, hair trinkets) and attention to detail

No. 329040

alt style in general is unattractive.

No. 329052

No. 329064

To you.

No. 329088

No. 329096

Lack of style is unattractive imo.

No. 329104

In my humble experience, the more tattoos/piercings she has the more likely she's had cock too. You are looking at a non-gay woman who is overcompensating.

No. 329110

File: 1684368383023.gif (4.5 MB, 480x270, giphy.gif)

No. 329130

>> 329104
>had cock

you'd think they'd at least try to put some effort into sounding like a woman. damn, troids are stupid as fuck

No. 329137

How do I handle that the type of women I'm into (very masc) never seem to be into me (very feminine?) I don't want to change how I look but a girl let me down recently by saying I look only nice to men, which kind of stung tbh

No. 329162

Tbf, she isn't wrong. Femininity is a construct made by and for men. Still, there are plenty of butches into femmes, you just have to keep trying.

No. 329166

>a girl let me down recently by saying I look only nice to men
I'm a butch who prefers femme women, but there really is a certain type of femininity that is for the male gaze. I'm not good at describing it but I know what she means, and my instincts tell me to avoid women like that because 95% of the time they're straight or "bi-curious". I have seen a couple butch women dating femmes like you IRL but it's pretty rare. I'm not telling you to change who you are, but you will have a tough road ahead because lots of butch women like me will think you're straight and avoid you.

No. 329189

Girl stop the lash extensions, acrylics, hair extensions, fake tan, cheap instathot outfits, etc. they are probably what is making you look very straight. They are a waste of money too.

No. 329203

This. I'm butch and I've learned the hard way that these things absolutely are red flags for bihets. Like >>329166 said there's something different about lesbian femininity, but I struggle to put it into words. "Not coomerbait" is the most succinct I get. Femmes feel free to elaborate.

No. 329207

move to thailand > become a dee > find a tom

No. 329219

Why is it okay to criticize a woman's appearance and what she does with it when she's femme?

No. 329220

Reminds me of that Chinese mechanic/DIY lesbian on yt who was raised as a boy in rural China and now is a hyperfeminine Dee with huge fake tits in order to overcompensate. She has some kind of reverse gender dysphoria. It's strange because she still have masculine mannerisms and interests.

No. 329222

Oh fuck I'm so glad I'm not the only one who noticed that, it's hard to explain but it's really "a thing" it seems

No. 329225

I'm femme and I'm just saying it looks very straight and its expensive and time-consuming and even damaging. Lash extensions look like caterpillars a lot of the time and they damage your natural lashes. Stuff like gel nails are time consuming expensive and they age your hands and give you skin cancer. Hair extensions are expensive and damage your hair. Fake tan is rarely done well and gets pricey if it looks good. Cheap revealing clothes are impractical depending on the climate you live in and look… well, cheap. You can get all of these done if you like and it's cool if it makes you happy but don't be surprised when a lot of people think you are very straight. There are also some butch ways of styling I dislike like that zoomer untextured side shave broccoli haircut some girls get lol. No one here is criticizing femmes just for being femme.

No. 329239

Tbh this reminds me of the moids who say they don't like that stuff, but then gravitate towards those women. This coming from a cured bisexual who leans GNC. How come femme women always have to change their appearance to attract someone but moids and butches can just do whatever and it's cool?

No. 329252

>cured bisexual

No. 329261

But the thing is I literally don't do any of that stuff, for them it's just because I have a soft voice and wear dresses (and don't smoke weed.) I wish at least they be nicer when letting me down. Like I don't know if the scene in my city got nastier but a lot of the new girls I see who moved here can't even try and hide their awful personalities. Sometimes I want to give up at dating because it's just cruel being told that I don't look like a lesbian (whatever that means) and instead that I look like a "cum-guzzler" straight girl (and I would never even call any girl straight or not that, because what am I? A scrote?)

No. 329271

>a cured bisexual
Did you go through conversion therapy or something? Sexual orientation can't, and shouldn't be, be "cured".

No. 329282

If you're talking about who I think you're talking about, she's married to a Turkish man with a bimbofication + swinging fetish who also runs her socials pretending to be her. I'd namedrop but he self searches and spergs in threads talking about him/her.

No. 329283

Holy shit really? I saw she had a long thread on the other farms but I didn't bother to check. I guess now I will to see if its her. That's quite disappointing, why bother with lying about that? How would that improve her image in any way? Damn.

No. 329287

I just want to bitch for a second, is anyone else finding it difficult to navigate dating apps as a non weed smoker? It's like every lesbian in my area smokes copious amounts of weed and I specify that i don't smoke and don't like it and finding anyone who will even match with me has suddenly gotten 50 percent more difficult kek.

No. 329288

Literal male-tier comment,
Also from what I've heard, you'd be more likely to get women attracted to you as a femme than a butch so you're definitely incorrect. Most women are attracted to femme women save for a few, I think I'd def go for someone who's on the middle grounds for example but since most femmes don't do the weird aesthetic you wrote about but look like average women, I'd prefer that over a butch.
Wait so is she really doing that stuff or is a man pretending to be her to ruin her reputation?

No. 329299

Yeah. I fucking hate potheads (no, I won't apologize) and yet they are everywhere.

No. 329305

>conversion therapy
FFS anon, they're clearly a polilez. Conversion therapy is exclusively to try and make you heterosexual. Don't extend sympathy to the women who drag our name through the mud.

No. 329333

I don't like gay women say this shit about femmes. It reeks of GNC-NLOG mentality or entitlement, either way it's intended to discourage your feminine behavior to be taken seriously as a gay woman. She could just say she's not into feminine women instead of implying only men can be attracted to feminine women. It comes across as an attempt at negging you into being au natural like traditional moids do, but with an extra step of politicizing your sexuality with your appearance. a lot of femme women lament being treated with misogyny or like straight women and that's a valid complaint when your same sex attraction is represented and accepted in media but in reality your same sex attraction is constantly questioned and scrutinized on the basis of you being too feminine. anyway there are butch women out there that respect / prefer femmes, even high femmes, and there are lesbians that don't see other women preforming femininity as an opportunity to look down on them. you just ran into a butch trying to neg like a man. sorry anon.

No. 329334

Would it be wrong to assume that most butches are into femmes?

No. 329417

ayrt thank you nonny <3 that's so nice to hear but literally it's just sad out there, and so lonely being shunned a lot now because I don't fit into the current popular mould where I live, like I don't want to change how I look or act but when other lesbians constantly tell me that I'm not really one because of how I look, it just stings a lot like I already have to deal with it with straight people, now from my own community? Sometimes I just want to leave my city even for the chance that it's better somewhere else…sorry for the vent but when anons here where saying the same stuff I hear irl it just set me off

No. 329430

>for them it's just because I have a soft voice and wear dresses (and don't smoke weed.)
>>329166, here. If that's all what's causing you problems, then I dunno what to say. The lesbian community in your part of the world sounds strange! My ex was sort of like you, very sweet, soft spoken, liked dresses, cuddly… Unfortunately, it didn't work out because being with her helped me realize I prefer aggressive women, lol. I never insulted her about that though. Not like she can help it. But she has dated other butch women before me so I dunno… I hope you can find a solution

No. 329432

Ntayrt but thanks for putting it into words better than I could. It is so insulting to hear that what you do and how you present just HAS to be impacted by men, even if you're a lesbian. Everything revolves around moids

No. 329434

Hard agree.

I personally run from femmes who have the insta baddie look too. The style kinda screams to me 'straight' in a way I can't explain.

Acrylics are beyond off putting and usually scream 'I only like men' because no sexually active lesbian is keeping those pussy cutters on. That one article about the woman who got an infection from the cuts caused by sharp nails still haunts me.

A question to everyone here:

How do you feel about femmes who wear acrylics?

No. 329449

As long as they aren't 30cm in length and she spends some periods of time without getting them done, I'm fine with them; it's her body and isnt like we need to have sex every day (and there are ways to have sex other than fingering anyways).

No. 329480

If she always gets acrylics done on all fingers EXCEPT her index finger and middle finger then there's no problems at all lol.

No. 329495

Regardless of how they affect sex, I just think acrylics look tacky on any woman, straight or gay.

No. 329498

I find it tacky AND revolting.
I keep my nails short because just growing them out even a little bit causes stuff to get under them. Whenever I see long nails, all I can think about is the buildup of dirt, food residue, skin flakes, and all sorts of nasty shit that gets trapped under them all day that would need thorough cleansing multiple times a day. I would never want to be touched anywhere by a woman with those things on her hands.

No. 329510

Please learn how to wash hands properly.

No. 329513

long nails are nastier and dirtier than short nails even if you wash them. there is a reason you can't have long nails when working in a restaurant kitchen etc.

No. 329521

I get you but tbh the nail length is only a factor of how dirty they CAN get. I have a friend who maintains hers squeaky clean via vinegar soaks or something every day, and she has a high emphasis on hygiene since she also works in a hospital. I personally wouldn't mind them if they're not freakishly long and taken care of.

No. 329525

I meant cursed lmfao, damn autocorrect.

No. 329542

Genuine question: do lesbians pop up this much in the bisexual thread? Because it's like playing fucking whack-a-mole with you lot in here.

No. 329546

gtfo of the lesbian thread, retard. I feel like a tard wrangler seeing you guys shitting up this thread all the time in passing. Go to the bisexual thread like the rest of us. Here it is if you're too dim to use the catalogue >>>/g/199767

No. 329552

You're doing God's work, nona.

No. 329603


It looks bad, hope that helps.

No. 329606

Do you seriously think tomboyish and butch women don't get criticized? Like, I get it, finding community when you're perceived as straight must be hard, and that sucks. But saying "these things read as straight" isn't even a criticism, it's the truth of how a lot of people - men, women, straight, bi, gay - see women who dress like that. Dress how you want, just know that people will have opinions on how you appear. It's a universal experience.

No. 329648

Imagine if you said this about shit butches do and wear. Imagine if someone said butches are just trying to look like men. Do you not understand how you're being a retard?

No. 329669

>Imagine if you said this about shit butches do and wear. Imagine if someone said butches are just trying to look like men.
NTA but KEK, this happens all the time. So what, anyway? If someone doesn't like how I look as a butch I'm not gonna throw a tantrum about it. People are entitled to their opinions and preferences.

No. 329682

Yup. And none of the things listed even have anything to do with femininity, they're just drag. Any man can put on fake nails lashes and have skanky clothes. But only women are naturally feminine.
Straight people don't understand the difference between the femininity of a femme lesbian and the artificiality that mlw perform and men are attracted to.

No. 329700

I'm butch and people say that kind of thing all the time. I believe it looks bad to them, they look bad to me as well. It's not that deep. Nearly all of society will give you asspats for being femme, you're going to act like I'm oppressing you by thinking you look bad? This is one of the core reasons why I avoid femmes, even as friends. How is saying a femme looks het/unappealing the same as calling a butch woman a man anyway? Look within yourself when you have time from obsessively plucking every hair out of your body babe.

No. 329701

>How is saying a femme looks het/unappealing the same as calling a butch woman a man anyway?
NTA but that was so telling when they equated those two things, kek. I almost thought it was a troon as this "you must only say nice things about my appearance" shit is straight out of the tranny playbook, but honestly some femmes do have this weird attitude about it.

No. 329852

I always wonder if these posts are trolls. Very masculine women generally adore feminine women, since when is that a problem?
>let me down recently by saying I look only nice to men
And who tf would say something like this?

No. 329886

I had a whirlwind of two weeks with a coworker I fancied and now I'm trying to let the hope and fantasy die of what could have been and move on. She was a cute tomboy that looked like a player (and probably was). I'm really hoping she wasn't dating someone but she only talked to me during work hours or at 11pm. She seemed all nervous when she would come near me but she said it was because she really liked me and I made her extremely nervous. She did tell me a lot about her low self esteem and asked what did I see in her. She bailed on me last minute four times when we were supposed to hang out after work and then acted like nothing the next day. I called her out on it the 3rd time and ignored her for 2 days to move on. She called me and we talked (mostly me telling her her behavior was rude af) and made plans to hang out after work. And then when she was about to give me her address her phone was at 1% and then she shut it off. So now I'm really going to just ignore her, the last time I saw her at work she said hello to me, whistled at me and then called my phone when I ignored her. Then when I went to another hallway to ignore her she pretended to follow me and laugh. I don't know what's going on but I don't want to play this game anymore. Why does she have to be the only cute lesbian around. And why do I always gravitate towards angry looking chicks with massive chips on their shoulder.

No. 329948

There is no way this was "at work" you two are in high school.

No. 329995

Kek nonna
Pls get yourself some self respect and stop chasing after someone who isn't interested in you. It's pathetic and just sad to be this desperate. Move on and stop talking.

No. 330012

Kind of a sad post about maternity and family building.

This documentary was very interesting and important as someone who would like to be able to have kids via sperm donation. I would choose non anonymous donation for the child's sake but now I even wonder if it's even ok, hearing the now adults testimony.
I'm very torn because I came from a loving family, and deeply know how important for a child it is to be one with their mother in the womb, especially from what my adopted friend told me.
When I saw one of Jessica Kellgren video with her wife on questions about their child, and I found their question about their son conception and relationship with a father figure or his donor to be disingenious. As someone of a specific ethnic background who was raised far away from people of my ethnicity I related strongly to kids born from donation having identity issues during their childhood and teenage years. I feel strange because I would love to have a biological child to be able to give to their the experience I had to have a mother that love you before your even born, but it does feel selfish, to choose to bring a child in the world for that.

I wonder if lesbian mom's, or who are trying to have a child had similar doubt and questioning.

No. 330040

Why do lesbian couples and gay couples try to LARP as a family by adopting children or sperm donation?(bait)

No. 330046

To piss off you specifically, of course.

No. 330058

File: 1684779314616.jpeg (401 KB, 1500x1024, MoJ7SzS.jpeg)

My wife and I are currently trying for a baby and as we're in the UK our child will have the right to get information about their biological father once they're 18. At first, it worried me a little. The thought of potentially "losing" our child to someone who merely gave us DNA. But as someone who went through their own journey to meet their biological father: I completely understand the natural urge to learn about your roots. So whatever our child chooses to do, my wife and I will stand by them. Will it hurt? A little bit, perhaps. But motherhood can't be all fun and games. With regard to race, my wife and I waited until we found the right sperm donor. Though my wife will be carrying our child, it's my egg. So we waited until a donor came up who is mixed race and from the same part of Africa as my wife. As we're both mixed, we know what it's like to feel like you don't fit in anywhere, so it was important to us that we can tell our child about the cultures they came from. I try to remind myself of my own unconventional parental situation. My biological father and I often have explosive fights and then barely talk to each other for weeks at a time. But his wife is a wonderful, empathetic woman who's been an amazing stepmum to me. I barely talk to my own mother, but her ex-boyfriend from years ago, who was only my "official" stepfather for about four years never lost touch with me after my mother broke up with him. He's been a fantastic role model for me, and I consider him to be my father, blood or no blood. If I can make this clusterfuck work, then I can handle my kid getting to know their biological father.

To build an army, duh. Picrel.

No. 330068

I don't want children, but this has to be said, you both sound like amazing parents. You wouldn't believe it, but I'm in my 30s and I still hope that someone comes around and tells me that I was adopted because my real parents are shit, don't love me, never loved me and this only shows me that blood doesn't mean everything, probably means nothing. The love you will show your children, the knowledge of their heritage, the education about their cultures, that's what is important, not the DNA and sure they will be curious but you will be their parents, the people they trust. You both (and your partners) put so much thought into bringing a new human into this world, it's amazing and I think your future children will love you.

No. 330076

Nona, this is such a wonderful thing to say! I'm always fretting over what kind of mother I'll be, so this means a lot to me. Thank you so much. I'm sorry about your parents, I'm >>330058 and I know how stressful it can be. I'm in my 30s too and the mummy and daddy issues still persist. Take care, kind nonnie. ♥

No. 330104

Until they come up with a way to combine two women's DNA to make a child I will not be having any. I don't want to be related to some random scrote as a 3rd wheel in my marriage and a father to my children. Disgusting.

No. 330111

You sound too immature to be a parent anyway, kek.

No. 330146

This. For me it's usually the latter though.
>Oh hey, that woman is pretty masc like me! Maybe we could be friends?
>She turns out to be bitter at lesbians for "tarnishing" her aesthetic and has to say how straight she is every chance given and how she's such a victim for being mistaken for a lesbian

No. 330203

File: 1684818710366.jpg (32.65 KB, 524x500, 1647468349832.jpg)

Question for nonas who present as androgynous or butch, have you experienced aggression/ downright scary behaviour from moids in public?

I did constantly. Often at the gym, they would stare me down and follow me around. It was particularly bad when I was with my feminine ex-gf in public, just walking around, not even PDA. I got so tired of it I grew my hair out and dress less masculine.

I hate that I've taken the "easy" way out but the abuse from scrotes in public has dropped right off.

Don't get me wrong, I would not change a thing about being a lesbian, despite it being othered at times and feeling like an outsider with a target on your back from random strangers.

No. 330215

When I first moved to uni I was very androgynous (short hair, baggy clothes, sporty/straight frame, thin, no makeup, etc) and I got mistaken for being a teenage boy or gendie all the time. I live somewhere super liberal so I didn’t really get “harassed” in the normal sense but I would get weird looks from people when I was in stores, or in women’s clothing sections (although I’m sure part of this is also being brown in a White city). Oh and people would “sir” me or use the wrong pronouns.

I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with scary moids nonnie, especially in male dominated spaces like the gym. I still look somewhat androgynous (muscular, thin, baggy clothes, hair up) when I’m at the gym and I definitely get looks from men, it sucks to have to deal with. I hope you stay safe

No. 330240

File: 1684842478364.jpeg (40.25 KB, 700x700, F87B6EF9-5687-44D6-AA67-305803…)

Thanks my nonnie, it means a lot. I hope you stay safe also. I have looked into female only gyms but they’re just not as extensively equipped. I’m 5’11 and so often taller than the scrotes that seem to want to intimidate me so obviously it comes from a place of moid insecurity and neuroses. The worst bit is it stills triggers feelings of unattractiveness for me despite reasoning with myself that moids are not my target market and I’ve had plenty of women interested in me. I hope one day I can be free of this shit and just lean into being out and butch.

No. 330241

Ily for using this Blade Runner 2049 meme, but to answer your question: yes. The first time it happened was when I started boxing at like 14 years old. I would get boys approach me and ask me why I'm trying to act like them with how I dress and my hobbies. Some would say I actually was a man, this one moid got real psycho about it and tried following me into the womens changing rooms to find out. I was scared shitless of being sexually assaulted, but thankfully my coach heard what he was saying and pulled him away from me before anything could happen. Things got better at boxing when I started winning trophies, I earned the respect of a lot of the moids who initially reacted negatively to me. I still got verbal insults from some, though. One of my first jobs was as a bouncer, and a lot of drunk moids would try to provoke me specifically into a fight because of my butchness. It was misogyny, but it was different than the standard shit us female bouncers got. A lot of them told me that if I want to look like a man, they'll beat me like a man. Some also thought I was a troon; the curse of being a tall, fridge bodied woman with a vaguely masculine face, I guess. In my day-to-day life I get a lot of stares, some men will give me that look of "you absolutely disgust me" but it's lost its edge by now. I live in a small town, and it's mostly chill though, thank god. The gym I go to now is surprisingly accepting despite being your average dudebro boxing gym. The guy who runs it is an absolute sweetheart and if he hears anyone give me shit for how I look or my sexuality he'll have a go at them. I know most of the guys that frequent the place and have a good time there like 9/10 times. I did used to get into a lot of bar fights when I was drinking. Same shit as before, men thinking I was trying to be one of them, so they wanted to beat me into submission and prove I'm just a small and weak woman. I'm sober now, so I avoid those fights by staying out of dive bars. If my wife and I go out for dinner and dancing, we typically go to bougie places, as they're much safer. We still get looks, but I can tune that shit out. I've never gave in, though. I hid my butchness at school by having long hair and trying to dress a bit more tomboyish rather than butch. After I started dressing for myself, I vowed not to do that again. Maybe it's dumb, but I figure I owe it to myself to at least be who I want to be.

No. 330268

That sounds so stressful. I hope you're both alright. Degen PoS men will always find ways to victimise women no matter what. I'm glad that the egregious shit was prevented.

No. 330359

When I presented feminine for approval, I got recorded by moids while working out and followed. Now I present true to my butch self and I get unsexual (?) but aggro behavior from men. I'm with >>330241 on this issue, I won't go back to trying to conform ever again, this is me and the world will just have to deal with it.

No. 330635

Can I ask a question? I honestly don’t know what top and bottom means in relation to lesbians. Because I hear that top= strap giver or top=head/fingering? And I am unsure which is the correct definition. I think it should be standardized.

No. 330638

IMO top means giver, whether with a strap or not. Bottom would be receiver.

No. 330650

nta but do many people really strictly adhere to that…?

No. 330651

From what I've heard from my friends, not really. I find that top, bottom and vers are terms that don't really make much sense for lesbians compared to gay men. For them it's (usually) a matter of who is being penetrated and who isn't.

I can understand why stones and pillow princesses use those terms though. In reality though most of us fit the label of being 'vers' or a switch so it doesn't hold much value. Outside of the women who are pretty strict about their own role or positions, it's not a great descriptor imo

No. 330726

I only used "top" as a descriptor before I worked through my issues that made me stone. For women I was hooking up with no intentions of dating, it was a lot easier to have that terminology to fall back on. Now that I've worked on my internalised misogyny/homophobia and issues with sex, they're redundant to me. I agree with >>330651 that most of us are "versatile". Slightly controversial opinion but I think if you want to avoid the dreaded "lesbian bed death" sticking to your role as a top or a bottom just isn't going to help. When I've been with bi women who always wanted me to be dominant and use a strap the sex got boring real quick.

No. 330765

Oh god nonas, my gf's been joining in on my work outs lately and that's been so fun, but last night she was spotting me and when I baaaarely managed to finish my last rep (added weight recently) she said "good job" in this low impressed tone… I fucking died I can't stop thinking about it. I'm gonna have to mention it to her today I bet she won't even remember lol.

No. 330771

ayrt here, me this really happened to me. I should have phrased it better but it's really because I don't have facial hair and a soft voice that apparently according to a lot of women I meet, I'm more appealing to men then to them. But like I don't want to grow a stache to get a gf and I get preferences but they don't have to attack me personally when letting me down. Sometimes I wonder if my ethnicity also plays a big part, I mean I'm not white and one of the few who isn't in the scene and lbr there is a lot of casual racism in my area I gotta deal with cause of it

No. 330777

Tbh in my local scene it’s also pretty common to use top and bottom in their bdsm-adjacent meanings for lesbian sex regardless of being giver/receiver. I am friends with a lot of nb/libfem sorts. First time somebody asked me if I was more of a top or a bottom in that sense I was quite thrown off, her underlying assumption really seemed to be that everyone has sex with a power exchange . So it probably depends who is using the terminology and why

No. 330820

I know how you feel, nona. My wife and I used to lift weights together in our home gym but the atmosphere got a little uh… tense. I'll be honest, we kept having sex instead of lifting so now we work out at different times, KEK. Idk what it is, we do our morning stretches and yoga together and help each other when using our gymnast rings. But the atmosphere when weightlifting is different. My masc4masc gymbro fantasises keep getting in the way of our gains.

No. 330847

Godddd that sounds fucking amazing, I'd be willing to sacrifice my work out a time or two for this to happen for sure. We have a home gym as well and we like to work out in as little clothing as possible to save on laundry/keep cool and it drives me fucking insane. Recently she also said that she likes this vein in my neck I get when I do lateral raises and now whenever I do them I'm like wow I hope she notices my veins. It's helpful too because I'm extra conscious of my form and more likely to go for extra reps because I want to impress her.

No. 330969

I can handle women with bfs on tinder because what the hell it’s a hookup app do whatever you want, but in my area it’s really common for them to be like “and my boyfriend is my person and the best partner I could ask for and I love him so much” which is so excessive. He’s your boyfriend, I already know you like him and your female hookups are just for fun. Do you think women on tinder are going to try to steal you away from your man? Those of us who have tried to date poly women in the past know that will never happen, don’t worry, we know our place already

No. 330987

>Do you think women on tinder are going to try to steal you away from your man?
They unironically do. They think lesbians are horny cavewomen that will drag them off to our womyns land cave given half the chance. Bit fucking rich to be so possessive of a moid they cheat on.

No. 331055

Does anyone know besides here a place for lesbians to hang and chat? The group at my uni is literally all just ftm fujos who roleplay their Rick and Marty fanfics irl and dont ever shower and I'm not a total loser to be into that shit or even try to pretend to be but I do want friends still

No. 331062

you sound so mean i would like to be friends with you KEKK

No. 331091

I really think some of those poly women are straight and just mostly unconsciously going along with a bi larp to please their straight bfs, especially the ones also involved in kink. I know some cool bi women but the ones I'm talking about literally think being SSA = thinking women are pretty

No. 331103

File: 1685170742349.png (192.15 KB, 897x1331, E9z7zQ6UcAETNqb.png)

Anons, did a fictional character make you realize you were a lesbian? Koito from Golden Kamuy made me realize it in a roundabout way.
In a lucid dream, I was in a fancy bed with Koito, and I thought to myself that, logically, he should be sexy. I tried imagining him under the bed covers but the thought was repulsive. Then I came to the realization that I only found certain types of women attractive. Because I don't find drawn women attractive at all, I didn't connect two and two together until adulthood. I assumed it translated across reality for everybody but it doesn't. I was no longer debating being a fakeboi (I was imagining myself being his mate Tsukishima, not myself necessarily) and someone heterosexual in one fell swoop. Thank you Koito.

No. 331127

There are some lesbian discords on tumblr (avoid the dykery bc it’s drama) but in radblr adjacent circles it should be fine. I’m not a radfem but anything else attracts TIMs.

No. 331130

File: 1685188163879.png (171.46 KB, 870x456, 3.png)

Do you have any race preference?(bait)

No. 331131

This sounds like infighting and racism waiting to happen

No. 331136

This is some of the laziest racebaiting I've ever seen. Jesus Christ, at least put a little bit of effort in if you're gonna try and pwn the dykes.

No. 331137

Samefag but I'd avoid tumblr discords at all costs. They're fully of drama, polilezzies, butch haters and TIF apologists. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. But my experience in those discords was awful.

No. 331138

bad bait and scrotey picture

No. 331159

NTA, but it sucks how the only real lesbian spaces online and IRL are radfem-oriented when they're so full of drama and polilez. It's depressing to be surrounded by politics when I just want a break from the lesbophobia in my life. I'm in a few that are okay, but the age demographics skew so young.

No. 331168

If you start calling radfems retards and keep shitting on their opposite sex attraction or lack of sexual thoughts about women you'll eventually weed out the shitty polilezzes, become a sort of pariah in radblr BUT find some genuine lesbians to be friends with.

No. 331170

NTA but I've been considering re-joining tumblr to find some online friends but haven't been sure how to navigate radblr when A: I'm not a radfem, just gender critical and B: my last experience there fucking sucked. This is a great tactic and I'm stealing it in case I do rejoin, kek.

No. 331185

the lesbian law of attrazioni is so real cuz tell me why me a short ass flattie always seem to end up pulling huge boobed tall girls .. not that im complaining lol

No. 331186

*attraction whoops

No. 331203

File: 1685219265527.png (248.66 KB, 1280x720, Breaking_Bad_S04E01__Box_Cutte…)

No. 331387

I recently lost a lot of my friends for lesbian related reasons. We didn’t fight or fall out, but they’re all active political lefties and all they can do is shit on “terfs” and cancel people they don’t like for being nazis. I know it’s only a matter of time before they come for me, as I do not believe lesbians can change and like penis because a man identifies as a woman. The irony is that they truly believe they are standing up for LGBT rights, but don’t seem to see the homophobic elements of it all. I feel like no one truly gets it but my (amazing) girlfriend.
Has anyone else experienced something similar?

No. 331388

AYRT. My point is, it sucks how the only spaces that know what "lesbian" actually means are political-oriented and skew too young, since back when I was on radblr there were a lot of bloggers in the 16-24 range and so were the servers. I have a lot of criticisms towards online radfem spaces, but I don't see a point in sticking around or even outright joining spaces dedicated to them just to shit talk them.

When I used Tumblr I would just find "cryptos" by skimming the notes of posts that are TERFy or just common sex (ex. posts that criticize libfems, sex work, hook up culture) and scroll the likes for blogs that look "normal" (don't have or reblog from obvious radfem usernames) or don't post politics 24/7. Bonus points if they also post the same interests, I've made and DMed mutuals this way since we had a common interest to talk about.

No. 331407

NAYRT but I've met and befriended a woman before who would reblog and like porn critical/common sense posts directly from radfem sources, but when I talked to her she was still a genuine TWAW TRA type. Your method is still the best of course and works 9/10 times, but I wish it wasn't so tedious. IRT online lesbian friendships, is there any hope for a new lesbian LC discord or did the last one sour everyone's attitude towards a server like that? I'm desperate for lesbian community that isn't rife with bis who love girldick or polilezzes, but I'm tired of sifting through Tumblr crazies. I just wanna talk to normal lesbians who also have the slightest knowledge about internet culture.

No. 331440

I did not "join" radblr, they just latch onto any based butch they see. My blog is clearly only dedicated to lesbians and I'm outspoken about not liking the radfem scene due to their policing of our sexuality and incessant doomposting but they like me anyway. Just like me, there are a ton of other lesbians in the radblr orbit that aren't actually part of that scene but are included regardless. Anyway I just post stupid shit about pussy and say hetero/biphobic things now and then and have amassed a little mutual circle of fellow lesbians who don't like radfems but are still kinda neighboring them.

No. 331460

What's wrong with radfems? I understand polilez and not wanting to be surrounded by politics but I don't think radfems are that bad

No. 331463

Honestly nona your best bet is unironically r/actuallylesbian. I've been there for a few months and everyone there has been chill. There's very little twaw talk if any and the troons who try to interact get downvoted to hell. Most know and understand they aren't wanted there so participation tapers off. Overtly antitroon messages get removed to keep the sub up but otherwise there is very little censorship of lesbians. It's definitively the best lesbian subreddit stiff competition, I know

No. 331467

Sage for double posting

So radfems aren't bad per se. It's more that many try to police female sexuality (obviously including female homosexuality) in a way that is reductive. I've met radfems who say that lesbians can't or shouldn't enjoy any romance that isn't lesbian. Some are retarded and believe the world should conform to their views.

Radfems have some great takes here and there especially regarding troons but some need to back off lesbians. It's tiring hearing straight women moaning about how their sexuality is inferior to mine because 'I don't have to date my oppressor' while simultaneously treating me like a potential predator because I'm attracted to exclusively women.

t. active in radfem adjacent places

No. 331471

nta but I find radfems are just too annoying and discourse-y, especially on Tumblr. I just want to shitpost and reblog fandom stuff and art, I don't want to deal with menalez energy so anyone who has a radfem heavy blog gets blocked on sight.

No. 331480

NTA but radical feminism (feminism in general, really) has been excluding lesbians ever since it started. I don't get how other lesbians are surprised when we bash it, unless you're literally a teenager or something. This has never been our movement, I might agree with a lot of what radfems say, but I'll die before I call myself one. Not only do they exclude and denigrate us on the basis of our homosexuality (no, I don't buy that it's being SSA in general because bi women coast by just fine in these spaces) but they're also downright vitriolic towards butches. They assume that if you're butch or date a butch you're copying heterosexual dynamics which are bad, but perfectly fine when they do it with their Nigel. I could go on, but I'm not getting banned for a-logging, kek.

No. 331508

> radfems are downright vitriolic towards butches. They assume that if you're butch or date a butch you're copying heterosexual dynamics
I’ve literally never seen that happen from radfems. That just sounds like Lchat bullshit a la >>323996
It’s interesting that this is your complaint while >>331440 says the opposite, that radfems love her just because she’s a “based butch” even though she doesn’t like radfems, kek. I feel like a lot of people who hate radfems must be getting their impressions from twitter or something because the complaints are often totally opposite, which makes sense because “radfems” on twitter just say any retarded bullshit they want and claim they’re radical feminists with no consistency at all other than hating troons

No. 331519

NTA but personally my main problem with radfems isn't the ideology, but what became of the community which in turn affects the integrity of the ideology as a whole. Such as the increasing amount of tradthinking within their rows and the similar cultish behavior they accuse libfems of having. Like if you don't agree or have doubts about a point another more prolific radfem made you're immediately penalized for it and singled out, or if you use the wrong terminology you get flagged and corrected because of the unnecessary obsession with semantics over substance. These are just examples, there are naturally more.

As for the tradthinking, I hate gay male misogyny just as much as anyone else but they really test the waters of passing unveiled homophobia as "based manhate" and advocate for the belief that gay people are pedophile rapists which really sounds like a slippery slope as they often sneak in butchphobia in there too, especially when talking about FTMs. I'm someone who desisted and I have immense sympathy for lesbian FTMs because I know where they're coming from, so the "they're all stupid yaoi addicted straight girls in denial who want to look like teenage boys" narrative is like poison to me. They really can't use the "transing is just a new form of conversion therapy" argument when they actively throw HSTSs and lesbian FTMs traumatized by the homophobic society under the bus at any given chance. Simultaneously they wear sexuality like a costume and you can smell the polilez from a mile away, so many of them try to desperately hide having a husband or fake being a lesbian.

And the racism is a given too. There are tons of receipts of racism in the radfem circles because it comes in with fraternizing with white supremacists who they hang on to because "they're willing to give us a voice". So many extreme radfems are the insecure kind who are just one redditoid boyfriend away from succumbing to a tradwife larp.

>while >>331440 says the opposite, that radfems love her just because she’s a “based butch” even though she doesn’t like radfems, kek.
NTA again but radfems use butches as lap dogs, or more accurately mascots. They think butches owe them obedience for their GC activism and latch onto them for that reason, but god forbid if you disagree with them. Then you're a gender traitor who's probably set for the aiden pipeline anyway and not worth having her rights protected. The bihets of the movement also treat butches like men lite who can substitute for a subservient Nigel until they're ready for the real deal.

No. 331539

Lmfao it's always amusing to see random mentions of her, she is truly notorious. I've only interacted with her a handful of times but her discord server was a cesspit so I'm not at all surprised that trouble follows her everywhere. She loves it though, that's for sure.

I'm the based butch anon and I've seen it happen, what now. No community is a monolith, there are absolutely radfems who think butches are toxic and male-aligned. That's of course not the only kind of radfem that exists, there are others like radfems who think butches need to be politically involved 10/10 role models which is a huge thing to put on a woman who just wants to exist. The reasons radblr sucks are multiple, depends on the subtype of radfem retardation. And the no true scotsman thing isn't gonna work, these people are all radfems because they say they are and they largely do believe in the politics. You don't get to cherrypick the sane sounding ones and say they're the true radfems and the rest are fake ones. One does not need to be free of contradictions in order to belong to an ideological group. If that were the case, nobody would be part of any ideology because we all contradict our politics in some way. Radical ideology in particular is prone to having followers who say crazy shit because it's radical. The people involved will be debating wild ideas and there will be embarrassing, weird, aggravating takes by design. I'm not saying radfems are a uniquely retarded and loathsome group but due to our proximity they are more grating than some other groups because we rub shoulders.

No. 331554

AYRT, I do this awesome thing called "leaving the house" as radical feminism is not just something that exists online. I used to hang out in a few GC/radfem adjacent groups IRL and this shit happened far too much. Like >>331539 said though, this does happen online too. Ok, you've not seen it, awesome! Doesn't mean it doesn't happen. >>331519 hit the nail on the head with:
>radfems use butches as lap dogs, or more accurately mascots. They think butches owe them obedience for their GC activism and latch onto them for that reason, but god forbid if you disagree with them
This has been a theme with my experience both on and offline. My gender non-conformity gets politicised, I'm told how I'm soooo based and cool and then after one single civil disagreement I get told that, ackshully, I'm only gonna troon out anyway. That I'm clearly copying straight men by dressing in mens clothes and having similar hobbies, and emulating heterosexual dynamics because apparently radfems are fucking clairvoyants who know how my marriage functions and how I have sex. The fact you immediately assumed I got my impressions of radfems off of twitter or lchat speaks volumes, kek. As the old adage goes… touch grass.

No. 331565

>it's always amusing to see random mentions of her, she is truly notorious
genuine question but why is she so disliked on lc? Im not super active on radblr but I have agreed with some of the posts she makes. I did lurk on her blog once and it did seem to have discourse but thats the fate of every blog that is centred around politics. i really cant see how she is any worse or any better than other radblr blogs

No. 331583

To lazy to tag everyone I'm responding to lol but wrt radfems and butches, I think the problem is that (the specific radfems we're complaining about because it's obv not a monolith) approve of GNC/androgynous women and confuse that with approving of butches. Like it's admirable to be a woman with short hair and comfortable clothing, but women who cross over into explicitly masculine presentation or personality or hobbies are heteronormative or trying to be men or dangerously close to being TIFs.

My issue with her is that she doxxes users she disagrees with and does IP tracing on her blog. Witch hunting is exhausting and I hate everyone who does it, it's still BPD drama cow behavior even if I agree with her politics.

No. 331586


No. 331675

she's drama-hungry and thrives off feeling superior, she just harnesses it in a less navel-gazey way than gendies. she looks normal if you scroll her blog every once in a while, but if you follow her then the consistent stream of callout posts and conflict-chasing gets draining. Many of thise callouts are against racists and lesbophobic rads iirc which is good, but occasionally she'll get too caught up in the rush and do shit like accuse a Spanish womam of being racist because she talked about the same issues as LatAm radfems instead of just shutting up and reblogging, and because Spain once had colonies. This drama-mongering was successful, her followers started dogpiling on the Spanish woman and anonymously calling her the n-word, and she shortly after deactivated her blog.

No. 331705

NTA but eat shit. You can't fucking win with morons like you. TIFs are bad and silly little girls, but if they wise up and desist - an incredibly brave thing to do btw, to admit you were wrong and then face the bullying of not only TRAs, but also so-called "feminists" - then they still get hassled. Go back to radblr and talk about how butches are all sex offenders or w/e it is you do with your free time.

No. 331706

Samefag but as a middle easterner I've found that menahet is awfully quick to pull the racist card. There are racists on radblr, no doubt. But she accuses most people who disagree with her of this. It's very tiresome, especially coming from someone who's shown herself to be bigoted. Kinda comes off as projection, tbh.

No. 331733

The bravest thing to do would to be not sucked into a misogynist cult in the first place. Sorry about the microencephaly or whatever caused your specific retardation(bait)

No. 331739

No shit, Sherlock it's better for women not to troon out in the first place. But why treat detransitioners badly? At least they're being honest about their experiences. Quite frankly young and vulnerable women need to hear from the ones who had fucked up surgeries and complications from testosterone to scare them into knocking that shit off.

No. 331744

Incredibly low effort bait

No. 331746

Every time I see "lesbians" on Twitter I just want to become straight honestly. Quotation marks because they're usually children who use the abomination terms "wlw" and "mlm" but seeing their "cottagecore" "what if we held hands and were both girls uwu" is horrifying. They tend to be the biggest snowflakes too for some reason.
I sometimes feel like I'm being "one of the good ones" when I say this but god I can't stand what gen z has turned "lesbian culture" into.

No. 331760

It's not bait, I'm just mean("edgy as fuck" level of newfaggotry)

No. 331762

Incredibly embarrassing le mean girl larp

No. 331771

More embarrassing than trooning out?

No. 331772

More embarrassing than trooning out?

No. 331859

It means absolutely fucking nothing. It's the dumbest thing to be attributed to lesbians.

No. 331880

For sure. I'll take a detrans lesbian over your middle school ass any day.

No. 331911

File: 1685407668765.jpg (52.87 KB, 749x750, 165af3b2b7fdf022c5b1386e1aa8e0…)

I feel like a lot of people around me assume that I'm trans and just too cowardly to tell them but I'm just an extremely butch lesbian with a masculine nickname. I've never gone by my legal name in my life, it's long and hard to say so I've always gone by the shortened version or another name altogether. And you know what's weird? The only women I see around here with hairy legs are gendies. All the butches I meet shave. I think it's part of what makes people assume I'm trans kek, I get them'ed so much it's obnoxious.
You're great anon

No. 331939

I've noticed this too, the only girls I meet who don't shave are gendies.
Any nonbutches who don't shave here, by the way? Do you still wear shorts or shirts that expose your underarms? I'm not butch and don't shave but I haven't been able to get myself to wear short shorts and sleeveless shirts the way I used to, although I'm alright with some showing.

No. 331973

I have the exact same problem. Sometimes I'm even read as male due to my height and build but I never correct anyone because I'm scared of looking like the gamestop hon going "IT'S MA'AM!" kek. The TIF at my work is always asking me about my "identity", blatantly hinting that she thinks I'm an "egg" or w/e. Funny thing is my wife and I sometimes go to nude beaches in summer and even with my genitals on show, I still get he/him'd KEK. Being flat chested doesn't help my case, I have been asked if I had keyhole top surgery before, but man, I gotta start putting people straight. I always say "oh I don't want the stress of it" but I shouldn't let people get away with their sexist assumptions that masc women must obviously be troons.

No. 332021

Kek I love you nonnie

But even though the retard with a chromosomal issue is trolling, it's a perfect example for the anon asking why lesbians here don't want to be around radfems. They fake concern over GNC lesbians and gays being pressured to troon out and claim to be appalled by the "modern day conversion therapy" manipulating them, but when push comes to shove they won't hesitate for a moment to insult them and call them misogynist and homophobic slurs and withdraw their support, like hardcore seething over gay men putting on makeup or lesbian women presenting actually masculine. Suddenly those poor misled lesbians turn into misogynist cunts who deserve to be seen as freaks for their "mutilated zipper tit bodies". Many of us still sympathize (i.e. understand why they feel this way) with those who felt their only option was to "fix themselves" by transitioning, even if we disagree with their decision. A lot of modern radfems genuinely don't and their support for women's rights is highly conditional.

No. 332052

So you agree, it's fine to want to avoid women with opinions you don't agree with and that you find annoying

No. 332118

One nonbutch who doesn't shave here. I still wear shorts, dresses, and shirts that expose the underarms. I used to shave my legs back when I was a teenager, but dropped that off when I got tired of ingrown hair. Since then I have been lucky to form relationships with people and circles in which no one cares about other people's body hair. Seeing other hairy women makes me feel glad that the reality is not the same as those unnaturally smooth dove commercial characters. There's something about the natural roughness and being confident about it that's both admirable and sexy.

No. 332138

Ayrt, I get what you mean though I'm afraid of the same thing lol. I usually smile and laugh like I'm assuming they're joking and that works most of the time. I've had a few people try to convert me and some tifs will get really aggressive, it's weird. Like me standing here being butch does not prevent you from being a they/them, sorry. It's not a competition.

No. 332168

AYRT, yeah the TIF I work with takes things so personally. It's odd. Lately she's arguing that my bodybuilding is gender-affirming as it makes me look more masculine; because in cuckoo land women are all built like noodles as we have no muscles! I remember starting boxing in like 2003 and all the boys would say I was a man because I was naturally athletic. Twenty years later and it's the same old shit. Fucking bleak.

No. 332181

I'm sick and tired of nlogs and bihets larping as lesbian turning Lesbianism into everything accept loving woman. Lesbianism is just nonmen loving nonmen, but gayness is still about mlm. Just saying anything so that they can have sex with penises and still call themselves lesbian.

No. 332256

File: 1685560022322.jpg (35.57 KB, 335x445, 2d01ee2c364b398fdc659065bfceec…)

One of my in-laws are having a baby rn. The other in-laws had a new baby last year. Both are accidents. In fact I'm pretty sure all their kids are accidents. And both sets of parents are complete nightmares. Like, the last people you'd want having children. I'm jealous and angry and I wish I wasn't because it makes me feel pathetic. They can have children by total accident! An entire BABY. By accident. That's so fucking wild to begin with. And then they bitch and moan about it and do a terrible job of raising it and I would give anything to be in their position. Like fine, if you're so opposed to birth control and abortions then I will raise your child and I won't be giving them pepsi and an ipad before they can even walk. I won't be hitting them with a switch. I won't swear at them or laugh when they get hurt. It's not fair. I'm not claiming I'm the best person on earth to raise a baby but why does it get to happen on accident to these fucking idiots who don't even want one? I want to be able to have my own baby with my wife so fucking bad and have the whole family celebrate for us the same way they do for these people that don't even want their kids.

No. 332265

I know how you feel, nona. My wife and I are trying for a baby and just had our second insemination fail. It's absolutely soul-destroying to see people get pregnant by accident. Honestly, how the FUCK are people not having safe sex in the year of our Lord 2023? Most straight people take the creation of life so lightly… "oops! brought another person into this earth!". The other day I heard a co-worker use the phrase "oops baby" in reference to her youngest child and I actually clenched my fists involuntarily. My jaw and neck were tight as fuck, my temperature felt like it was soaring. It made me want to flip my desk and punch a wall, but also made me feel like I was about to burst out crying. For clarification, I don't hate this woman. It's just the lightness with which the creation of life is discussed that angers me. Regardless of my situation with fertility and wanting a kid, people should be fucking careful. You're bringing a child into this world who will be dependent on you for 18 years minimum and will also be majorly shaped by your actions. I feel like one of the few sane people in the world who acknowledges what a big fucking deal parenthood is.

No. 332277

I'm so sorry to hear about the insemination failure, that must be so heartbreaking on top of the expense and stress of doctor's appointments as well. I'm not spiritual or anything but I wish you good luck all the same. I wish it was easier for us. Nobody's owed a child of course but they seem to come so often to people who don't want them or even treat them well.
>"oops! brought another person into this earth!"
>It's just the lightness with which the creation of life is discussed that angers me
>feel like one of the few sane people in the world who acknowledges what a big fucking deal parenthood is
You and me both, holy shit. I feel like people should be required to take classes and shit, like as soon as you get your ultrasound done you have mandatory parenting courses and household evaluations and shit to make sure everything's up to par. In Finland they send a baby box to expecting mothers, stuff they need to get started. I feel like that kind of thing is a good start to what I'm talking about. Babies don't ask to get made and they only get one shot at life. It should be a good one.
Anon I forgot to reply to you! I also lift and have gotten comments about it from tifs, it's so uncomfortable. I don't know what's worse, having them tell me how I totally have epic transmasc swag and should definitely get on T asap or being treated like shit because I'm a living reminder that we're both just masculine women. And you're right, it all circles back to regular old sexism. They sound like my shitty uncles when they say this stuff. I've even had people tell me to my face that I basically am a trans man and should just accept it. Like excuse me?

No. 332362

Same, and everybody treats me like I take it way too seriously. I tell people I don't want to have a child because I know I wouldn't be a good parent. Because I know I'm not equipped to deal with the massive responsibility posed by bringing a child into the world and helping them navigate life into a healthy, grounded adult. People hear all of this and they tell me to just do it anyways because it'll click once I hold the baby the first time. It enrages me. I grew up so miserable and it's because of fuckers who don't seriously consider whether they're suited to have a child or not.

No. 332366

I hope you get to have kids of your own one way or another, and I hope you'll be the light in those in-law kids' lives too.
I don't want to have kids of my own, but I was myself a band-aid trap baby (mom kind of lost interest in me when I failed to fulfill my primary purpose of keeping dad around) and I would give anything to be reborn to parents like you.

No. 332420

Thank you, nona. I wish it was easier for us, too. I'm lucky to be at a point in my life where the financial cost of IVF isn't a stress, but the emotional toll is indescribable. It completely changed our lives, and we've had babies on the brain 24/7 for months now. We've decided to take a break before trying again. We're gonna have a summer of fun and focus on ourselves again, and then decide when we're ready to have another crack at it. Third time's the charm, let's hope. I agree people should be given classes in parenting, and I also think sex education needs radical changes to it as it's clearly not fit for purpose.

I know how you feel. For a long time I didn't think I had what it takes to be a mother and I would tell people that it's not for me and all I got back was "you'll get the hang of it!" like Jesus Christ, I just told you I'm struggling with mental illness and trauma from my own shitty childhood and that's your answer?! If I told people I was going to climb Everest without any mountain climbing lessons would I get told I'll "get the hang of it" or would I (rightly) be called crazy? I don't get this double standard when it comes to babies. Granted, emotions do kick in and help you a little. I was a nervous wreck prior to the birth of my little sister, but once she was born things kinda clicked for me. Like ok, I'm gonna do my best to protect you now. I'll take a bullet for you. But ofc that doesn't nullify any mental issues or give you the knowledge needed to raise a child. I think a lot of people have the inclination to romanticise parenthood and say that love is all you need. It's a nice idea but dangerously naive.

No. 332521

ntayrt but best of luck to you nona. I hopr you two can enjoy your summer and get past this. Hopefully you'll be able to have your baby soon!

Glad I'm not alone in feeling like that. I feel like a lot of straight people take parenthood for granted and genuinely do not care that they are having an active impact on another human's development. I'm not saying they should be preying or thanking god for their child but they should actively strive to be the best possible parent for a child. To give your child a better upbringing than your own should be an aim for every parent and it irks me that it isn't.

No. 332555

File: 1685670318745.jpeg (52.7 KB, 680x519, FwVD5pHaIAIRpYj.jpeg)

I went on a date tonight (after what felt like a century) and it was so nice and comfy. My date and I shared 2 hugs and it felt like fireworks. On the way home I realized how lonely and repressed I've been. Still and good time…

No. 332712

Late but I appreciate that so much nona, thank you. I was my mom's "project" baby too, as in something fun that she lost interest in when I was no longer a cute squishy infant, I think it's where a lot of these feelings come from.
>I hope you'll be the light in those in-law kids' lives too.
Oh absolutely! I get to see the little stinkers this summer, I'm so excited. Got some gifts picked out and everything.
Fingers crossed for you! I hope this summer will be a nice reset for you both and you can take the time to relax and have fun. Best of luck in the future ♥

No. 332823

I’m getting depressed on dating apps because I promised myself not to swipe on women with pronouns and every interesting gorgeous andro woman who I know I would get along with has she/they in bio. I’m considering flexing my rule but I know I should stay strong… I have very close friends who have pronouns and are super normal about it and I always respect their desires. I just feel like I would wind up feeling like I was hiding things from a woman who believed in gender ideology if we could get into a relationship. I wish this could even be like any other ideology where you can say, “I respect your beliefs but I have very different ones, let’s talk about them” without getting excommunicated, because I honestly don’t care what other people call themselves. I just don’t want to hide what I believe and feel like I’m walking on eggshells. I can’t risk outing myself to anyone at all in my tiny city. The thing that makes me most crazy is knowing that if I didn’t stumble on radblr five years ago and instantly peak, I would have she/they in bio too, it’s completely random and has nothing to do with our personal compatibility. Please let this be over in five years so I can find a gf…

No. 332855

>I just feel like I would wind up feeling like I was hiding things from a woman who believed in gender ideology if we could get into a relationship.
I feel this, nona.

No. 332892

Pride month is going to make me a-log. Why are young lesbians the biggest handmaidens ever? They get worse by the year.

No. 332899

The Pride thread is just filled with rampant homophobia now

No. 332901

I'm pretty sure most of it is coming from KF scrotes.

No. 332902

There's this one post being super aggressive that doesn't even specify gay men, just homosexuals, but I bet if I tried to argue against it, I'd be med with "why are you defending gay scrotes?"

No. 332904

Yeah it’s a shitshow

No. 332921

i've noticed general rampant homophobia in multiple threads lately, like on the hidden board currently ( likely a scrote ) and that one anon on /ot/ who said that being gay is a result of autism (???) and trauma or some shit with multiple anons agreeing with her. wtf is going on? and when you try defending it it's just like
says they accuse you of "defending gay scrotes" and use examples of said gay men being molested as kids turning into pedorapists it's like clockwork. i honestly don't believe it's KF scrotes i think there are just genuine female homophobes here.

No. 332924

I think some anons take their ”based ””radical feminism””” and turn right back into tradthot territory. Or it’s just the female users of KF.

No. 332925

I wrote about the pedophilic faggot family member you're referring to and yes I am homophobic against faggots

No. 332927

i wasn't referring to any post in particular it's a regular occurence which is why i said like clockwork, because that example is always used. didn't even catch your post but my condolences

No. 333061

So true, recently a lesbian acquaintance told me about when her straight male friend made her sit through dozens of hours of a porn game with him like it was a funny joke. I would have scrubbed that guy from my life but I guess we're supposed to be accepting of male sexuality, right? FML

No. 333108

i'm in the same boat as you nona, my condolences… literally almost single gay woman on tinder near me has she/they in their bio or is a hulking 'panromantic ace demigirl' TIM. I wish I could find a normal woman, but have wholeheartedly accepted my future as a rich, childless cat lady who lives in a country cottage. Hopefully in the next few years troon ideology will become less and less accepted, but until then you can catch me at your local cat shelter lmao

No. 333237

File: 1685910604328.jpg (159.8 KB, 1080x1220, DluPGDu.jpg)

This tweet got ratioed but we're not far from it becoming accepted. We already have Lesbianism defined as non man loving non man.
No matter what changes everyone will always hate homosexuals both liberals and conservatives. Liberals just rebounded it as scapegoating homosexual people especially lesbians as any time we speak out we're either nlogs or terfs. Most lgbt organisations center around gender specials or spicy straights. Conservatives wouldn't waste a chance to give us the death penalty for existing.

No. 333239

Samefagging but this is why I don't care about people in straight relationships who whine about not being validated. These people are literally the most common sexuality after straight people but won't rest until everyone else's sexuality centers around them

No. 333241

Because any mildly misandrist lesbian gets labeled as a terf. We have to deal with amabs posting their dicks in our spaces and bihets larping as lesbian saying we're not real lesbians for not liking them

No. 333273

i just need to vent about a girl i've been talking to the past few months.

she's literally the first woman i went on a date with irl, everyone else i met online ghosted me or said they wanted to meet up but never followed through. it just feels like a friendship - which is on me because i have major issues being physically intimate. we hold hands all the time and cuddled a bit when she slept over but that's about it. i want to kiss her but have never found the right moment, and i don't wanna make her uncomfortable.

does anyone find it hard to be romantic? i feel like i'm ruining this tbh. i wanna be able to date and have sex but i'm so fucking autistic i'm not sure what to do - we've been hanging out and talking for months. i just don't know how to initiate anything without making it awkward.

i think i'm gonna talk to her about it and share how i'm feeling and let her know i'm bad at physical intimacy but this has just been making me feel so bad. i'm in my early 20s and never properly dated and it just feels like i don't know how to love. i also had a rule when i was on dating apps that i wouldn't date gendies, and try to only date other lesbians. but she's bi (date men but never had sex or anything) and goes by 'any pronouns' (but she's said she isn't trans she just doesn't care - but she has considered it before and owns a binder). this doesn't really have much to do with anything but i'm pretty honest about my opinions aside from outright saying i don't believe in being trans lol. but i have thought about whether our conflicting opinions may have issues in the future? also have no idea how quickly people are supposed to go from talking to dating - like at one point is it okay to be like 'okay let's be date now'.

No. 333284

Have you ever been physically intimate in a romantic way? This might be the reason you find it hard to initiate. Maybe when you are on a date that isn't in public ask her if you can kiss. And also explain that you want to take it slow when it comes to intimacy.

No. 333330

Sounds about right.

Pride is already a shitshow for us (troons being pushed, us being reminded that we need to try their dick lr whatever) as if homophobia isn't bad enough already. I'm tired already.

No. 333359

File: 1685958241243.png (318.33 KB, 580x732, oh god oh fuck oh no.png)

Terrible news, UK nonas! £5 says there's not a single butch in sight and the "femmes" won't be actual femmes but your average straight passing woman. The most GNC woman there will be Ruby Rose-esque with short hair and a full face of makeup, and they might even stick a troon in there. I'd make a bingo sheet, but I respect myself too much to even hatewatch it.

No. 333380

File: 1685969918780.png (24.51 KB, 318x381, troonbingo.png)

Here are my predictions nona… I'm about as optimistic as you are I think KEK.

No. 333381


They're going to channel the ghost of Matt Walsh from the Upside Down and make excuses for the word "girl"

No. 333382

i just got called bro mate luv darling and sir all by the same stranger in about 4 short sentences

No. 333402

AYRT and KEK, you have about the same predictions as my wife and I. There's definitely gonna be some micro-identity nonsense and my wife predicted TERF drama where some loser goes through the Twatter history of all contestants until they find suitable outrage bait. Probably something that mentions pussy and lesbianism in the same sentence, that's usually enough to get the torch and pitchfork gang going.

I Kissed a Non-Man

No. 333433

File: 1685985735397.jpg (16.71 KB, 640x360, 20230527_041051.jpg)

Our community is so fucked

No. 333523

Being straightforward pays off imo, as a fellow autist. If you're clear about liking her and struggling with initiating then the right person for you would find that lovable. Also, it's totally fine to start dating at this point but you could have done it sooner or can do it later too. Her being bi and being politically different are things you can worry about if you wanna worry but life is short and if it feels good just go for it. Even heartbreak is a memory made, be a lesbian today.

This is so real.

No. 333670

File: 1686063130046.jpeg (30.25 KB, 896x802, FsQm_ERaUAEw44z.jpeg)

My partner is literally the love of my life. We've been moved in together for about a month now and everything's just been so perfect. She's truly the most amazing human being on the planet. She's sweet, caring, thoughtful, handsome, funny, diligent, clever, intelligent, attentive, ambitious. And so, so cute. She's cuddly and touchy, and the way she cups my face and holds me makes me melt. Whenever she looks at me, she smiles and her face lights up, and she's always so excited and enthusiastic to hear about my day or creative endeavors. She's also the best sex partner I've ever had, and our chemistry is amazing. I'm so thankful I'm with her, and that I'm the lucky person who gets to wake up beside her each day. I really understand the phrase "other half" now, because I feel whole when I'm with her, and I feel like I've been evolving into a better version of myself just by being around her… we compliment each other so well, and I feel so relaxed and calm in her presence. It's just funny, because I had no luck with dating apps yet I met her on a roleplaying forum. Can't believe I met the woman I'm going to marry one day through fandom, kek.

No. 333747

File: 1686088285324.jpeg (17.89 KB, 480x483, FgmZ6LaVQAAUGp0.jpeg)

Feeling shame for seeing different women before I settle down and date. How common is this among lesbians? Until recently I wouldn't have even dared to see more than just one woman at a time and only looking to date the next if the current relationship didn't work out. Turns out most people will date around before settling on dating one person. Maybe it's just startling since it's the first time I've been able to have more that one romantic interest at once.

No. 333748

Don't worry about it, anon. Bask in pussy and have all the sex you can get. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

No. 333749

Don't worry about it, anon. Bask in pussy and have all the sex you can get. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

No. 333785

>"hi i'm katy i'm 29 and realised i was a lesbian 5 months ago after divorcing my husband. here to find my first gf"
>contestant uses the phrase gold star "oh wow that's kinda… problematic"
>"something something sexuality is fluid"

No. 333822

Would anons here date a woman with an of?

No. 333836

I wouldn't

No. 333838

June always makes me feel the lesbian loneliness super hard. I just want to find irl lesbians around whom I don't have to walk on egg shells because of pronouns and who don't dislike butches.

No. 333842

It's been building up for at least the past 2 years and it's why I cut down on my lolcow time to just a few select threads and rarely visit /ot/ anymore. It started with a-logging relatively harmless Aidens, then male homosexuals thinly veiled as manhate or anti-tranny sentiments, then proceeded to calling butch lesbians misogynist troon eggs and now it's just full mask off homophobia they're not even attempting to hide. Told people this would happen years ago when they were overlooking the first traces of homophobia and farmers dismissed it. It's not even all scrotes, there are plenty of actual female posters who genuinely think homosexuality is disgusting be it a gay man or a lesbian woman, no matter how much they try to whitewash it as their "no no I just hate faggots they're all pedophiles!" garbage. Someone is going to jump on me for this too, but at least some people are realizing what's going on. I'm one homophobic "maybe the rightoids were right" straight woman away from fully swallowing the black pill.

No. 333856

Am I contributing to this by saying gay men are faggots and bi men are just as disgusting? Even though I myself am bi/lesbian?

No. 333861

What is it with bisexuals continuously camping this thread and thinking we want to hear your opinions?

No. 333862

I'm not actually bi. I was just using myself as a example.

No. 333866

To be honest a homophobic slur is a homophobic slur and "faggot" irks me just the same as using "dyke" as an insult even though I'm not a gay man. But I'm not black either and I would feel just as bad about someone using the N word too since it's still verbal abuse and using a word that has historically been used to damage an underhanded group. It sends a signal to certain groups that they're welcome to spread bigoted ideologies because it starts with "oh it's just a word kek go back to twitter" and spirals from there. I even agree that bisexual men are notorious for being misogynistic prison gay degenerates (that's literally every bi man I know) but a lot of the gay male hate I've seen around stems from purebred homophobia. As a lesbian I will always side eye someone who says shit like "I hate faggots but lesbians are cool you know" even if you're SSA because you know it never ends with "just hating faggots". And I would feel the same if a gay man said shit like "dykes are disgusting".

No. 333868

Lmao, do we have to ask your permission?

No. 333876

Makes sense. It's fair to be against gay men and bi men, excluding using slurs against them?

No. 333888

Were you raised religious, and are you religious now? I ask because I was raised quite strictly and I have a LOT of shame about sleeping and dating around before marriage. I've been with over 30 women and I don't even know the true number because of my heavy drinking and drug use at the time. Casual sex is such a soulless activity (just my opinion, other anons feel free to go nuts) and now I'm with my wife I just wish I saved myself for her. Hindsight is a bitch, but life isn't perfect. It's so easy to get sucked into the nightlife and become a serial dater when you first get onto the gay scene and start feeling confident with your sexuality. I've always had issues with feeling unattractive too, so there was an element of validation when I would hook-up with someone. All in all, I wouldn't sweat it too much. There's nothing inherently wrong with it so long as you're open and upfront with the women you're with. If any woman thinks less of you for dating around, then she's not worth your time.

Fuck no.

No, you just have to stop throwing a tantrum when some anons state that they prefer not to date bi women.

No. 333945

File: 1686158623720.jpeg (141.78 KB, 1400x933, 8912E1F4-5777-4309-AE21-1413BA…)

Yes, for me it was Zarya from Overwatch, although I’ve never played overwatch. I had been working out and looking for some weeb fitspo, but then I realised I was interested in drooling over pics of her muscles more than building my own gains

No. 333994

All due respect, how the hell are you getting horny for a bunch of pixels?

No. 334002

Aren't you getting tired of laying retarded bait in this thread all the time? Oh of course you're not because you're obsessed with lesbians.

No. 334003

What? I'm a regular poster here because I am a lesbian, and I have never baited anyone. I'm genuinely curious. If you don't want people questioning your weird attraction to video game characters then don't post about it.

No. 334045

NTA I am personally attracted to 3d video game women because they look like and sound like real women but without the difficulties and boredom that comes with humans. You get to learn about them and see them a lot without actually having to interact with them. You can also look at erotic art and its not harmful towards them because they are not real. Saying they are "just pixels" is over-simplifying things. Please dont bully me for autism, it's not my fault I don't like interacting with humans and prefer 3d vidya women. I don't like anime girls by the way, they look nothing like women, I hate their dumb flat childish 2d faces.

No. 334097

Come on, anon wrote a pretty milquetoast "I think she's hot" post replying to another anon asking if a fictional character made them wake up to their gayness and you're here being all "uhhh genuinely curious but why are you being a weird degenerate it's like, a bunch of pixels hello???". It's not that outlandish for people to find semi-realistic cartoon humans attractive and getting so hung up on it to the point you want to insult her is being the weird one here imo.

No. 334196

You can put the autism card back in the deck because I'm autistic too. Hell, most posters on this website are. I get not liking people, but my mind genuinely boggles at being into video game characters. I always thought people were joking when they would say stuff like that. Maybe it's because I'm an oldfag who mainly grew up on SNES, Game Boy, PS1 and PS2 where the character models were blocky at best. But even playing modern games, I just… don't see it. So I asked a question.

I could've worded the question better, it was too light-hearted and can easily be taken the wrong way, I admit that. But I never called them a degenerate, nor did I mean to insult them. Even so, this is an imageboard, far worse is said than someone asking the appeal of pixels and admitting that they find it weird.

No. 334304

When my girlfriend and I have sex sometimes there's a bit of bleeding and it's irritating. Nails are smoothly cut and then filed, but it's inevitable at times no matter how wet. We've reverted to clitoral stimulation only because that's technically all that's needed to orgasm lol. Maybe we should use gloves

No. 334314

Bleeding usually occurs from penetration being too vigorous. Something too big and/or you're going too fast. I know this is TMI, but do you warm each other up? Even if it's just your fingers you should start gently. Also, is there any pain, specifically tightness? If there's a lot of tightness it could be something like vaginismus. If not and you're still bleeding despite being cautious, I'd suggest seeing a doctor.

No. 334326

This is so sweet, anon, thank you for sharing. I love seeing women post about their lives with other women. It makes me really happy and hopeful for my own future. Your partner sounds adorable, I hope you have many happy years together!

No. 334327

which roleplay forum did you meet her on if you don't mind sharing?

No. 334340

I saw a filthy het couple spitting into each others mouths in the middle of an overcrowded street. It was like looking at maggots, only worse because they are everywhere and I rarely have to look at maggots. Why are heteroids so insistent on forcing their sexuality down everyone's throats? They have nothing to be proud of. I would have called them disgusting to their faces if it weren't for the bile in my throat rendering me mute. I'm glad I'd never seen such vulgar action as a child, I think it would have traumatized me.(bait)

No. 334345

Either this is piss poor bait or you're an edgelord too young to post here.

No. 334350

Don't reply to bait.

No. 334365

You're living the dream nonnie! I hope you two are happy ♥

No. 334496

My country used to be one of the better countries in the world for LGB rights and now we're getting American trad style protests as a reaction to the woke shit in schools. I know it's pathetic but I cried a bit when I saw the videos because it's so depressing, we've literally backslid on gay rights. In high school I was pretty comfortable being out and now I'm not because my coworkers think lesbians are all freaks who give hormones to children. And the worst part is, once the backlash hits all the spicy straights who caused this will go back to a normie hetero life and I'll be stuck alone in their mess.

No. 334630

Couldn't you be out and be vocal about how you're against trannies? If anything it should make a positive impact.

No. 334655

She was right and they killed her for that.

No. 334698

how often lesbians actually are strictly tops and bottoms?.. i genuinely thought that those terms don't really apply to lesbian sex very well, but I'm in my first relationship for about a two years now and i ended up being a pillow princess… does this actually happen?..

No. 334784

This has been discussed in these threads ad nauseam. Sometimes these terms are used out of convenience, but mostly lesbians don't use them. With all due respect, I think your inexperience might've forced you into a role out of shyness, perhaps? When I first started having sex I was purely a stone top, not because I wanted to be one though. I didn't know what to do or how to communicate my needs. I also had some issues with internalised misogyny and homophobia. The sex was satisfactory, but not earth-shattering. You and your girlfriend need to have a long conversation about sex, your needs, desires, boundaries, etc. Avoid top/bottom terminology and be absolutely honest with each other so you can work out what you both want. Variety is also important if you want a long term relationship, so maybe open yourself up to experimentation. I don't mean you have to get into any kink shit, just shake things up a lil to avoid boredom. As a married woman I'm very happy I worked on my hang-ups and learned to communicate because it'd suck to be stuck being the dominant stone top for the rest of my life. Some people do stick to those roles because they genuinely like them, don't get me wrong. But a lot of lesbians I know went through a phase similar to me where they just ended up performing a role because of inexperience, stereotyping, shyness and lack of communication.

No. 334992

My brain subconsciously reads her face as WIFE MATERIAL and I don't know why. Maybe it's the haircut.

No. 334998

>I don't know why
I think it's because you're a nerd.

No. 335000

Can waifuposting be a thing in this general now? The /m/ thread isn't really active.

No. 335009

Personally I'm against that. I think we need this thread for actual flesh and blood relations, otherwise it'll be overrun with waifufagging instead of being somewhere to come for advice, celebrations of love, general chit-chat about our lives, etc. If the /m/ thread is inactive… revive it. But the sensible thing would be to put it to a vote, I guess.

No. 335019

I didn't mean to start a reform kek. Just assumed there's no waifuposting because few people on here have a waifu. I'll go check the /m/ thread now. Thanks for the directions.

No. 335047

Why are so many lesbians butch/masc? Not hating on the way women choose to present themselves but I don’t understand why so many lesbians feel they have to become knockoff moids/FTMs. The whole point of being a lesbian for me is that I’m not interested in male aesthetics or energy, I don’t want to be around someone who acts and looks like a man.

No. 335052

No. I've always been like that, and it comes naturally to me. Performing femininity, on the other hand, feels like a chore.

No. 335060

This is the laziest bait this thread has seen yet

No. 335086

Most lesbians are not butch/masc. No one is forcing you to be around masculine lesbians.

No. 335087

so who wants to be my gf?

No. 335090

I'm coming over in ten minutes babe

No. 335092


No. 335185

Agreed. It's more insulting that they think we're so stupid we'd take that post at face value. "male aesthetics or energy" is something only a tranny or a libfem would unironically say.

No. 335248

Do you guys have good first date ideas?
I was thinking of getting food and walking around afterwards but I don't know if that's too basic.

No. 335251

There's nothing too basic if you both enjoy each other's company, especially if combined with enjoying food together before or after the activity. For ideas you can check what general interests match between you and your date, e.g. if you both like art, visiting an art museum or an interesting exhibition which gives you space to talk with each other can be fun.

No. 335261

Sounds good to me. If you're looking to do something more memorable, I'd recommend doing an activity and grabbing something to eat whilst walking.

For example, taking your date to a gaming bar. You can have some friendly banter and solid fun before heading yo get some street food. That way the two of you can go on a walk or find somewhere nice to sit.

I find that these more memorable dates are more memorable and gives you a chance to see a woman's real sides outside of the first date front.

No. 335271

File: 1686687365033.jpg (149.81 KB, 1200x1200, photo_2023-06-13_15-14-22.jpg)


No. 335272

Why is gay listed as "man attracted other men" when it should be "non-woman attracted to other non-women"?

No. 335291

Women = non-men

I guess women can't even really be called women anymore lol

No. 335315

Who here has lesbian friends in real life? Where do you find them? All other lesbians in my area seemed to have vanish. Even at the very few (2) monthly, lesbian events in my area all I find are bis and gendies.

No. 335416

What is lesbian hook-up culture like and how rude is it considered to be straightforward about sex on a dating app? How normal is it to just arrange to have casual sex? I live in a small place so I'm worried about coming across as a creep. I'm autist and very inexperienced.

No. 335420

I've only had experiences with hook-ups and cruising IRL but I would assume anyone down for casual sex would state it in their bio, or at least put a little hint about "no strings fun" in there. If I were you I'd test the waters with banter, I know banter is hard as a fellow autist, but once you git gud it's an invaluable tool. If you got a good back and forth going, then get flirty and see how they react. Also you should put something in your bio about casual sex so people know where they stand with you.

No. 335423

I honestly don't think one exists, or at least not one in my city/age range. I gave up on trying to find FWBs/etc since I only got attention from moids and unicorn hunter types when I mentioned seeking that kind of thing in my bio, I'm pretty up front about not wanting to lead anyone on, but a lot of women got grossed out by the prospect. I'm currently not interested in a romantic relationship (I don't feel ready for one and it seems overrated to be, but I've never been in love so maybe I don't get it), but I still wanted something that's beyond friendship (hence FWB), but it doesn't seem to be something lesbians near me want at all. C'est la vie.

No. 335427

Thanks for your advice. Because I live in a small place, I'm very hesitant to put anything like that in my bio. I'm a really private person, and I'm guaranteed many people I know will see my profile and even just people seeing my profile at all gives me anxiety. Probably I just need to get over it, or find some site/app that lets you just tick a box saying you're up for casual stuff. I don't even know where I would start with IRL hook-ups. We have one gay bar that's 95% male, and it's seen as weird to go on your own.

I'm also worried about moids or getting taken advantage of in some way if I use more casual sex focused sites (which seem like 100% moids anyway) because of my inexperience too. From my brief perusal of dating sites it seems like my most realistic option is trying to find a married bisexual woman but that sounds like some type of shit show and not really what I want either. I hope you get to meet a nice FWB too nona.

No. 335430

>From my brief perusal of dating sites it seems like my most realistic option is trying to find a married bisexual woman but that sounds like some type of shit show and not really what I want either.
AYRT, the few times I found women nearby interested in casual sex with women, they had a boyfriend, so I refused. I've read horror stories of bi women bringing their boyfriend without telling when hooking up with lesbians, so I decided that I'm not going to go for bi women when it comes to casual sex. But only bi women seem to be interested in it. Makes me feel like a fake lesbian in a way for currently not wanting to U-Haul like everyone else.

No. 335462

When I had to travel a lot for my old job I would either cruise the gay district, hopping from bar to bar, basically just giving "the look" to gauge interest. Or I'd try my luck at night in 24 hour gyms; I know the latter sounds weird, but I met a lot of women like myself who were into weightlifting and/or combat sports that way. They typically make up most of the women dedicated enough to work out at night and back then most who were into those things were bi or gay. Didn't even need to talk and pretend things were actually going anywhere beyond sex like in gay bars which was a huge bonus. These encounters were all in cities or big towns though, the town I'm from doesn't even have a gay bar. So I guess this is only applicable if you can travel. I know that sucks though, taking the night bus as an obvious lesbian (I'm butch) is super risky, at least where I'm from anyway.

No. 335476

NTA but damn, I wish that was an option for me. The only gay bar I know of is hours away and from what I've heard it's full of gen z and moids. I wish a secret female-only lesbian hookup app existed or something (emphasis on secret, since we know what would happen with one).

No. 335960

I'm a virgin and I want to eat a girl out

No. 335964

Go post in female fantasies, newfag.

No. 335971

im almost 30.
how and with no directions to figure this out, how do i do it properly?
they wont be able to help me

No. 335999

it's like french kissing except you follow the moans and there is nothing kissing you back but she may grind on your mouth if she's nasty.

No. 336099

File: 1687025136926.jpeg (22.82 KB, 563x395, njsfekwmokwgmw.jpeg)

sage for incoming blogpost / vent.

i recently broke up with a libfem i'd been dating for a few months and now i'm immediately back on lolcow / in radfem communities to heal and it sounds silly but i'm so grateful to have female spaces like this. the more i surrounded myself with tifs / libfems, the more susceptible i was to giving into "pressure" and letting them call me they/them pronouns and using a chosen name so i could "fit in". i felt really lost for a while after going through a bad breakup two years ago and thought that i should just give up and be trans already. (i was in radfem communities at the time, but really depressed and bored too). every other butch lesbian in my area is a "transmasc dyke" or "fagdyke" etc. i honestly began to feel jealous of how masculine they looked. they could put on muscle mass quickly, had husky voices. but that's about it that appealed to me (i don't want chin pubes or a dry vag).
i've only ever dated femmes, but all of them have had had tif exes. the libfem i recently broke up with would treat me like a man and called my clit a dick at first because she wasnt sure if calling it a clit would 'give me dysphoria'. she was a self appointed pillow princess and only wanted me to fuck her with a strapon. at some point it felt like self harm to be around her and in the lib community especially as a gnc butch lesbian. no one wanted to acknowledge mine or other butch women's womanhoods. i found myself choosing not to have deep conversations with her because we couldn't get past anything without bringing up trans bullshit and i didn't want to break it to her that i'm transphobic. we ended up breaking up because she wanted to be poly and fucked one of her friends behind my back. long story short, please don't date libfems.

but it's been a week since then and i'm feeling a lot better after revisiting my feminist roots, reading dworkin, reflecting on myself, etc. but i'm sad that finding other women like me irl feels impossible. i wish trans ideology never became this mainstream and popular. i wish i had butch friends irl to pass their wisdom onto me and give me some healthy community and support.
if any nonas have advice for healing / finding community i'd be interested in hearing. sorry for the rant, thanks in advance. hope everyone's having a nice day.

No. 336116

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Before I met my wife I was in a relationship with a bisexual libfem for about three years; though towards the end it felt like I'd lost a decade to this woman. We were very different on paper: I'm a middle eastern, working class immigrant who's semi-religious and she's a white, middle class reddit atheist. It shouldn't have worked, but we had crazy chemistry at the start. I'm butch and when we were in the friendship stage I explained to her how I'd been treated like a man in the past and how much it fucked me up. She told me how awful that was, how my dress, hobbies and mannerisms didn't take away from my womanhood and it was like, yes! Finally someone gets it! At the start we would even laugh about troons but the thing is, she's at university studying gender studies crap relating to videos games. Yes. You can get a degree in that. She's actually pursuing a PHD for it currently and I have to laugh at how devalued universities are. Anyway, I digress. Naturally this choice of study attracted libfems and troons and slowly but surely her attitude changed. We would talk politics, I would vent about how lesbians in general were treated as the enemy and there was always a "yes, but…". But hey, I figured we could agree to disagree, and for a while we did. Things were going well. My dumb ass kinda fell for her tbh; though I met her when getting out of an abusive relationship and put her on this pedestal for it. So make of that what you will. Sexually, things were starting to get repetitive though. At first we would frequently make love with no toys and no overtures of top/bottom. Toys were just an occasional thing, but she started asking for the strap-on more and more. Then she wanted me to be more dominant, then rougher, then she wanted me to choke her. She would send me het pornography telling me to fuck her like the man was fucking that woman. For a while I obliged, though I refused to choke her for obvious reasons. She called me "vanilla" for this. We were just fucking at this point, no love involved. She never called my clit a dick, thank fuck. Though that's because she rarely reciprocated. I was semi-stone then, I had some issues to work out so I can't blame her entirely for that but… well, she never cared to talk to me about it. She clearly liked the pillow princess arrangement and often sent me "funny" memes about being a pillow princess. Despite the flaws this woman meant a lot to me, she had met my friends, even met my mother briefly. I only met a handful of her friends, two of them were cringe FTM Les Mis LARPers. Wish I was making this up. I asked if I could take her parents out for dinner to meet them, after all my gf was talking marriage at this point but there was always a reason why I couldn't. When she made new friends on her course there was always a reason why I couldn't meet them too. I started hanging out with my friends more, fed up of her bullshit by this point. One of my friends ID'd as FTM at that time but decided to detransition. When I told my gf this, she looked at me with anger in her eyes and said "have you been telling him radfem stuff?". This crushed me. FTM or not, this was a dear friend and her accusation hurt me. This snowballed into an argument where I let out all my repressed rage at her. The digs at me being "low class", being stupid for dropping out at 15, for being religious, the way she hid me, it all came out and it led to us finally breaking up. Honestly, it was such a relief to get shot of her. I don't miss her at all, as bad as that sounds. I think I just clung to her for so long because she "saved" me from an abusive relationship. I also healed in radfem adjacent communities. I don't consider myself a redfem but agree with a lot of what they say and it was nice to talk freely about my opinions without being branded a TERF. It's been a long, strange odyssey since then but I'm now living my best, vanilla life with my wife. Part of what helped me heal was physical hobbies. Being with a libfem can lead to that mind/body disconnect: "I was born as X, but I identify as Y". When you're doing something physical, working with your body towards a certain goal, you realise this isn't just a meat sack you inhabit; you are this meat sack. I swim, cycle, lift weights, and do combat sports. The latter being great for venting your rage. I naturally found my community through doing these physical hobbies and through volunteer work. A lot of women who volunteer to help other women will be radfem adjacent. They'll keep it quiet of course, plenty of libfems volunteer too, but you'll naturally find each other if you spend enough time together. Another game changer for me was formally deciding to only date lesbians. I know this is a controversial topic in this thread, but if you're butch/GNC I think bisexual women can potentially be very bad for you. Hope you find your community too, nona. There's plenty of women like us out there, we just keep it on the down low in this current political climate. I wish you all the best in your future. Godspeed, nona.

No. 336118

Samefag, I am so sorry for that block of text, kek. I think I needed to vent.

No. 336206

Nona do you believe that libfems cpuld be thr cause of many lesbians/GNC people transitioning? From what you're saying it sounds like they gaslight people into identifying into pretentious identities.

Thanks nonnie for your story, it's very insightful. Your ex sounds like the preachy two-faced middle class type. They look down on anyone else with a less prosperous lifestyle than their own but preach 'be kind' and any other activist mantra.

No. 336230

>called my clit a dick
Ew where do u even find people like this ? When I see some posts I feel like I'm living in a parallel reality. Maybe being a fem4fem protects me from that kind of specimen. Anyway there are plenty of normal women out there. Don't lose hope and courage anon.

No. 336246

>I think bisexual women can potentially be very bad for you
This is the default opinion both here in this thread as well as in irl lesbian circles.
But I can see how you could have been led to believe it's some controversial
hot take if you've spent so much time among non-lesbians.

No. 336273

I feel the same way, about only wanting to date other lesbians. I think they’re just way way more likely to take relationships with women seriously, for obvious reasons.

No. 336278

Thank you so much for your story and your advice, nona. I've been wanting to take some self defense classes lately and you've really sold me now. Appreciate you <3

Yes, I believe they can definitely sway their masculine female partners in that direction. But then again, I was already very susceptible to that ideology given my mental state at the time.

Somewhere that rhymes with Sortland, Oregon. I need to move to Spain or something. I won't lose hope though, thank you nonnie(.<3)

No. 336326

why would you be ok with her calling your clit a dick if you're a woman?

that doesn't make any sense

thats like a bizarre red flag, because obviously she wanted you to be trans
fucking weirdos in this world man

please save us from these tranny loving cuntbags!!!!

No. 336428

IMO even as a hardcore femme I avoid most bi women in a romantic sense, because oftentimes bi women are virtually straight or tend to have this weird hang-up about taking their f/f relationships as seriously as when they're with men. Like. "I think women are really hot but I can't see myself in a marriage with one" is a common take that I've heard from them. It's rather difficult to find other lesbians but I think it's definitely worth the trouble

No. 336461

AYRT, can't recommend taking self-defence classes enough. In this day and age, I strongly believe all women need to learn it. Specifically, how to fight men and use their size and weight against them. Sorry to hear you're from Portland, though. My wife is a burger, she's from Noo Yawk but lived in Portland for about a year and has some war stories to tell about what it's like to be a lesbian there. It can't be easy being butch as well.

Learn to read. Anon said she called her clit that at first because she thought calling it otherwise would make her dysphoric because in typical libfem fashion she assumed that as a butch, anon was obviously some flavour of "transmasc". You know what's also a red flag? The phrase "cuntbags".

Yeah I've heard bi women say that a LOT and it really grinds my gears. "b-b-but men can offer more romantically!" yeah, and I'm the fucking Pope. I've heard some people excuse it by saying it's internalised homophobia, but I don't buy it. If it was they wouldn't fuck lesbians in the first place.

No. 336485

NTA but at this point I don't even want to hook up with bi women because they often have boyfriends on the side or are pillow princess types who don't reciprocate. I don't know any lesbians, but I almost feel happier being alone than trying to chase after bi women who don't see me as anything but a source of amusement.

No. 336512

You're telling me that having gender dysphoria doesn't mean she thought she was trans?

maybe you should learn to read
last red flag, being a dumbfuck(you)

No. 336519

dont feed the scrote trying to bait lol. its just a barking dog

No. 336523

yes, dont admit that it was in fact her that didnt read, just ignore your own wrong doings
youre completely blameless and can read comprehensively

No. 336668

Nonnies I unironically want to neck myself after seeing the amount of extremely aggressive homophobia that explodes all over the place during pride month. I genuinely don't give one shit about "reeee all these alphabet kweer kinkster people making us look bad" gaslighting, it's all straight people weaponizing it against us when 99.99% of pride are completely normal, well-adjusted people who just want to live their lives out in peace. I don't even care about the trans question anymore, I'm exhausted by people using it as a sneaky way to pass homophobia into the conversation and faking concern for trannies taking away lesbian rights and spaces when in reality they don't care. I'm tired of caping for straight women when they would never do the same for me and instead brand me a potential predator as if I wanted to ever touch a fucking Nigel wrangler. I'm just so, so tired and overall depressed and disappointed with the world right now.

No. 336697

I feel the exact same way, nona. Pride posters are being burned in a city near where I live and I'm so sick of fearing pride month. "our month" my ass. Things were getting better with how society treats homosexuals in recent years, but then trannies ruined everything by bringing too much attention to the "community". Some straight people I know are catching on and separating the TQ+, which really gives me hope. But it's not enough, like you said, more and more straight people have now learned how to be sneakily homophobic and get away with it. For the first time in years I've started carrying a boot knife again. As a butch I feel way too visible and it's making me anxious.

No. 336717

>I genuinely don't give one shit about "reeee all these alphabet kweer kinkster people making us look bad" gaslighting, it's all straight people weaponizing it against us when 99.99% of pride are completely normal, well-adjusted people who just want to live their lives out in peace.
I had to stop hanging around internet radfems because this is how everyone feels about it, they honestly think we should burn pride flags and go back in the closet forever as penance for childhood transition laws. I'm getting sick of shitting on misguided leftists when the alternative is insane right wing religious groups. It's actually a lot easier to find common ground with a confused 19-year old catgender than a hardcore Catholic. I'm just sick of it I don't care anymore about cringe kids at pride when there are tradcath kids making memes about bombing abortion clinics.

Anyway it's depressing. I'm really nervous about the future.

No. 336726

>It's actually a lot easier to find common ground with a confused 19-year old catgender than a hardcore Catholic.
Seriously. When the pandemic calmed down and I started socializing again I realized how much better I got along with those dreaded ~ libfems ~, i.e. normal feminists who just don't wish death on trannies than terminally online "radfems" who lick right wing boots because their podcast host said troon bad since after all most of them are addicted to male validation and willing to sacrifice lesbians as collateral damage for a platform. I'm GNC and mainstream feminists seem to be relieved and even inspired when they realize I still identify as a woman, they just go by the "live and let live" idea when it comes to trans people. I feel nice inside when I see people carrying rainbow pins or bags during June because even though we have equal rights legally we're still largely seen as degenerates to be fixed, and our rights can be drastically reduced in one fell swoop if we're not vigilant enough. That's why we need pride.

No. 336756

File: 1687284543054.jpg (784.97 KB, 4096x3276, 1687193108823.jpg)

I'm convinced a lot of the tranny/gendie/radfem/woke/trad shit is a chaos agent psy op. Divide and conquer.

No. 336758

>I'm GNC and mainstream feminists seem to be relieved and even inspired when they realize I still identify as a woman, they just go by the "live and let live" idea when it comes to trans people.
NTA but this is how things have been for me at work. At first a lot of the older women (40-60 age range) approached me with kiddy gloves as they thought a woman as masculine as me must surely identify as some sort of troon. At first I was like "fucking hell, here we go again" with the questions about my identity but once I made it clear that the only thing that matters to me is my biological sex, they were fine. A couple of the older women had never met a lesbian before, and had a few questions for me, but they were very respectful about it. They mainly wanted to know if I was born this way and why I bodybuild and dress the way I do. That was it. Whippersnappers these days will tell you "nooo, don't let people ask questions about your sexuality!!!" and not realise that that's how you alienate people. Sure, some people (mostly moids) will push boundaries and ask about your sex life, but most people are just curious. It is human nature to be nosy, after all. Particularly older people who previously led a somewhat sheltered life. It's better they ask people questions and try to learn, rather than purposefully staying ignorant. These women are now great work friends, and as I met my wife at work they even came to our wedding. One of them knitted a gay pride flag to put up at work and it's such a cute gesture. I think lesbians are safer with the liberal "live and let live" types rather than the radfem "say one thing I disagree with and I'll call you a dyke" types.

I'm a tinfoil connoisseur, and one of the biggest global psyops going atm is divide and conquer. What good has this radfem resurgence done us? Fuck all. At the end of the day, it's just more shit to argue about.

No. 336760

Where are you seeing radfems use “dyke” as a pejorative?

No. 336763

Real life, tumblr and twitter. Don't start with the No True Scotsman bullshit.

No. 336764

me too.

No. 336776

tranny vs radfem is 100% a psyop, it's following the same pattern as sjw vs anti-sjw stuff in the early 10s. People get (understandably) fed up with woke politics and trans BS so the algorithm funnels them into far-right communities masquerading as the rational, common sense side. Then it becomes even harder to get nice liberal normies on our side because Christian militias keep showing up on our side.

No. 336783

Do you have account names? I’d like to know who to bully

No. 336784

Do you know even know what radical feminism is, and it's history?

No. 336793

It was years ago on tumblr this happened to me, so account names I've forgot. It was the mean girl clique that rubbed shoulders with "TEHMs" like cisoid though. A lot of them claimed to be bisexual, but once the lesbians start having different opinions… hoo boy. Lesson learned: Don't trust faghags.

NTA but do you? They don't have a good track record of treating lesbians and GNC women well. And just because it started organically, that doesn't mean it can't be hijacked and used as a vehicle to further the culture wars.

No. 336809

Relatable. I feel like I can't talk about how I'm scared that the ring wing shit in Florida will carry on to other red states (like the one I live in) without GCs/radfems calling me a TRA. I don't even believe in "transphobia" (if anything it's GNC-phobia and/or homophobia) but so many straight radfems/GCs are using "the troons" as an acceptable outlet for their homophobia and conservative views. It's hard for me to trust anyone now.

No. 336855

i hope this is the right place to post this, if not please let me know. i'm 20, and i recently came to terms with the fact that i'm a lesbian. i'm a late bloomer in this department. i've never kissed, dated or had sex with anyone man or woman. i dream of having an experience like that but i feel so nervous. it's like i can't even imagine doing it in real life. my bi friend told me she made out with a girl in a club recently and ever since i've been painfully jealous of her. i keep having literal dreams fantasising about women, i can't stop. i always wanted my first kiss to be with someone special, but should i just kiss a girl in a club? i feel woefully inexperienced and i can't imagine being desirable to anyone else to be honest. have any other nonnies experienced this or am i just a freak? things feel so complicated and i wanted to ask other lesbians about it

No. 336857

Oh nonny, it's so common to be in your situation. Don't worry, don't rush yourself, and don't settle for anything that doesn't give you tingles.

No. 336860

20 isn't late bloomer, 25+ is.
>i feel woefully inexperienced
unlike what they show you on tv, most people don't lose their virginity at 15. just chill and proceed at your own pace.

No. 336874

I remember a radblr lesbian (forgot her url though) who got dragged by TEHMs and their bihet hags for saying gay men are misogynistic because they're still men and homosexuality doesn't cancel out male privilege and they tried to smear her as a homophobe and made memes comparing her to Fred Phelps.

No. 336877

AYRT, I think I remember that happening. Well, not the Fred Phelps memes, so maybe it was another time, but I remember a mass spergout because someone told the truth about gay moids. That and the treatment of FTMs as harmless misguided girls was part of what peaked me on radblr. The gay moids were literally proving that user right by being horrifically misogynistic and the faghags were still like "ackshully straight men are mean to them so they're our allies". Unbelievable.

No. 336879

> I met my wife at work they even came to our wedding

A wife is the spouse of a husband, and marriage is between a man and a woman, why do you lesbians and gays use heterosexual terms and heterosexual ceremonies to refer to your partners and your relationship between them?(bait)

No. 336889

I have been lurking around that hellhole for 2-3 years and I can say this type of shit has happened at least two times with two different account where both times the lesbian - who said it like it is about gay men - becoming the pariah & all the dick cultists making memes about her being on the same par as evangelist homophobes. The only reason TEHMs are a thing is because radfems are desperate for male validation (re: radfem to tradfem pipeline which is a meme of its own on radblr).

No. 336894

>The only reason TEHMs are a thing is because radfems are desperate for male validation
99% of TEHMs piss me off because they only started caring about the cotton ceiling/trans issue when it started affecting them. Even though gay male clubs still exist, Grindr is still used for gay male hookups, I do see gay men smeared on social media for not liking pussy, but the power imbalance between a TIF and a man is the opposite of a TIM with a woman. Gay men can still openly talk about liking dick and gay sex and a whiny TIFcel won't affect his life, but it's the opposite for lesbians. I can respect the ones who at least agree with basic 101 feminist concepts (ex. anti-porn/anti-prostitution/critical of hookup culture), but I've seen so many just post porn constantly on their blogs.

No. 336902

> 99% of TEHMs piss me off because they only started caring about the cotton ceiling/trans issue when it started affecting them.
Not even that. If you look at gay communities online, like reddit, you will see gay men pay A LOT less attention to trans stuff in general. Yeah, a lot of them are gc and “terfs”, but they don’t really talk about it much and sure as hell don’t bring feminist talking points in. All of the “discourse” - if it can be even named that way - is extremely primitive (at least from what I’ve seen). I think TEHMs just like to hang out in radfem circles because they know they can get easy asspats and attention for something they would get laughed at in their communities. Idk how to say it, but all of their le epic meme dunks on trannies are so disingenious cause I know they would all be quiet if there were any gay men around and not just fawning fag hags

No. 336969

Brilliant point nona. I honestly find most of us are just moderates who just want to be left alone. I hate how my sexuality is used as a shield and a costume by people who will never experience lesbianism. It's so tiring to hear men who don't take me seriously or think that this is a phase pretend to 'defend' me. All of these people are dishonest and tiring.

I want to be able to date women without being told I'm not inclusive enough.

I want to be able to talk about women without being chastised for having a type.

I want to be able to date without having to tip-toe over egg shells so that people don't flip out. My hobbies aren't 'lesbian enough' or apparently liking a male character 'basically makes me straight'. I can't even like things or do things without judgement.

I'm so tired of it all. Why is it that women can't just be without men coming in and telling us how to live? Why can't some women be open to letting go of their need for male validation? What do you get by bullying me into being something I'm not?

Sorry for the long rant nonnies but I'm just so frustrated with the whole radfem/tra shit online. I hate how it filters into real life. Being asked if being a lesbian is bigotted was the last straw. Thinking of just abandoning twitter so I can avoid it.

I just want to love and live in peace. I'm tired of having my interests and preferences policed and fought over by people who just want to win.

No. 337005

I honestly envy the fact that they don't have to care. It's so much easier for them to ignore trans shit, because they're not physically in danger, they're not losing their spaces, and they're not being branded with scarlet letters for being homosexual. I don't even think they realize how much lesbians are getting screwed over right now, it's not even on their radar. You just know if similarly unfair things were happening to gay men, lesbians would be raising hell about it because women actually give a shit about other human beings.

No. 337031

Though it's not as if gay men are completely free of any kind of danger, while we have to deal with rapey trannies gay men get beat up and killed by insecure bihet men who suddenly have a gay panic moment and maul them to death driven by their own internalized homophobia. That's how hatecrime'd HSTSs die. I'm bringing this up because we shouldn't forget that the society is still very homophobic overall and causes minority stress for all of us and not understanding the struggles each of us have is a part of the divide and conquer strategy, in the end the biggest threat all of us (lesbian, bi and straight women and gay men) have are the opposite sex attracted men. One of the reasons why I gave up on radfem circles was because I grew tired of "who has it worse" circlejerking opening doors to right wing tradtards who love to use it against us. While we were busy arguing over troons they passed medieval laws in Florida so that now you literally can't mention homosexuality in a public school or you'll be fired, yet straight radfems are still acting like some autistic tranny overdosing on social media is the biggest threat to lesbians and that's why we need to rub shoulders with homophobic right wingers who actually want us gone, married to a man and preferably impregnated with no bodily autonomy or birth control.

That said, I don't know that many GC gay men but then again all of my other lesbian friends (including my girlfriend) are anti-GC too and believe in TWAW (even if they wouldn't date them themselves) but remain reasonably sensible about it. The only people who I know to be aggressively antitrans are straight or polilez and the way they fawn over men (either the gay male they faghag for or their own Nigel who's totally not like other Nigels) and are quick to turn against any lesbian makes me really question how much of their concern for our safety is real.

No. 337067

>Though it's not as if gay men are completely free of any kind of danger, while we have to deal with rapey trannies gay men get beat up and killed by insecure bihet men who suddenly have a gay panic moment and maul them to death driven by their own internalized homophobia. That's how hatecrime'd HSTSs die. I'm bringing this up because we shouldn't forget that the society is still very homophobic overall and causes minority stress for all of us and not understanding the struggles each of us have is a part of the divide and conquer strategy
NTA. I 100% agree with you, but my issue is how performative a lot of GC gay men/TEHMs are about the cotton ceiling issue, because the power imbalance of heterosexual TIFs with men is the opposite of heterosexual/bisexual TIMs and women. HSTS TIMs also tend to only hurt other men (ex. the trope of the gay TIM who chases after straight men to "feel like a real woman" - a lot of HSTS skinwalk women in a way similar to AGPs, but it's for the sake of trying to attract these straight men), while AGP men tend to affect everyone. It's hard to really jump on the "LG solidarity" train when a lot of gay men support TRA shit since most don't face consequences for saying no to TIFs and the screaming over "cis gay men" being the devil tends to stay on social media. That said, it does annoy me when lesbians go hard about hating gay men and whatnot. They're still male and have male privilege, but gay men aren't the ones out trying to rape us.

No. 337195

>It's hard to really jump on the "LG solidarity" train when a lot of gay men support TRA shit since most don't face consequences for saying no to TIFs and the screaming over "cis gay men" being the devil tends to stay on social media.
Yes for sure, I do lose my mind when gay men act all holier than thou at lesbians not wanting to suck a dick because they know a trans man would never have the social privilege to force them into sex and they can talk all about not wanting to fuck vaginas with absolutely no consequences. But I also see a lot of them not being straight out TEHMs but just being fed up with gender bullshit and for example quitting Pride festivals in protest. They just get away with it much more easily than lesbian women do due to being men and would rather isolate than get involved in the discourse. And even when they do stand up for us, they get drowned out super fast because people would rather block their ears to demonize evil vagina fetishists and TIFs themselves are considered to somehow (though we all know why) have the same social privilege as cis males anyway.

>That said, it does annoy me when lesbians go hard about hating gay men and whatnot. They're still male and have male privilege, but gay men aren't the ones out trying to rape us.

Yeah, like said many times I see straight radfems doing it and that really raises an eyebrow for me as them having a problem with gay men specifically (i.e. not OSA men) is telling enough. I think lesbians letting out their anger at gay men is more than understandable due to the bitterness of always getting the shit end of the stick as arguably the least popular group of LGB and never getting a piece of the solidarity cake because I sure have bouts of anger regarding it, but we should be careful about misdirecting it since in the end we all share a common enemy who's more than happy to witness the infighting.

No. 337477

i wanna spoil a cute girl so BAAAAAD buyin her all the stuff she likes taking her out on interesting dates and events and extra nice restaurants too bad im broke as shit

No. 337604

What do you guys think about lesbians who come out after only having relationships with men?

For me it kinda depends. If they’re older women who’ve been trapped in unhappy marriages due to homophobia and only just learned that they can be open about liking women, I’m a lot more lenient. But girls my age and zoomer girls who say they’re lesbian after only dating men, I raise my brow at a little

No. 337606

It depends. I feel for the girls who had a female teenage sweetheart but then felt like conforming to straight expectations and suffered through miserable straight relationships before admitting to themselves that they're a lesbian and don't think any less of them, but the girls who have had multiple boyfriends with a good sex life getting off on them being men fucking them then no, I don't consider them lesbians even if they now fully commit to women. I feel like those kinds of "late bloomers" are just looking for the emotional support they can only get from other women after dating troglodytes attached to a penis and after healing they bail out and date a man again. But it's a very case-by-case basis for me.

No. 337609

Like >>337606 said it's a case by case basis; but overall I'm a little suspicious of them. I've said it before, but I hate how we seemingly just dropped the "questioning" label and now everyone is rushing to find the right identity rather than taking their time to work things out. When it comes to zoomers I'll be honest, I do not believe them at all. They're too goddamn young to pivot from being only into men to being only into women. Bisexual I could buy, but lesbian? Nah. Even with older women I struggle to understand it, but I cut them more slack as it's easy to be swayed into conforming when growing up in previous generations. Another factor is race and religion. If they're religious and from a place with not-so-great opinions on gay people then I completely get why they'd try being straight.

No. 337633

This is how I see it too basically. If they were able to have sex and not wanna an hero then they're not lesbians. Unfortunately you can't know if it were the case or not because people lie but I think it's pretty easy to tell IRL if someone is a larping bisexual or not. I've always had a good sense of that at least.

No. 337660

My gf was browsing reddit on her phone and I saw she subscribes to r/menslib, kek. She can never know I post on LC

No. 337662

Nonnies I need help my girl friend of three months just told me that she feels I'm not interested in her anymore and I'm beyond baffled since we have nothing but dates together we are a closeted couple since it's not really safe for us to be open so I've been taking her out on mall trips and having dinner together secretly (I even have had sex with her) I'm confused why would she think I'm not interested in her she said that it feels like I flirt with everyone (I just have a friendly personality? While she's a bit introverted) how do I convince her that I do like her? Is this a sign she's wanting to break up with me?

No. 337663

Shit. It could be a sign she’s not interested or maybe she’s just asking you for a romantic gesture. You like her I assume so do some private romantic thing that’s a little special. Couples jewelry or personal artwork just for her? I don’t know, I would try that if I were you. Use your words and tie it to a physical thing.
In my imagination you’re going on closeted mall dates and can’t act special towards her, so she can’t see the difference between how you treat her and how you treat anyone else. That could be painful.

No. 337664

I sometimes sneak in a little kiss sometimes when I'm in public but I'm confused what could lead her to think I'm not interested anymore? She's been acting distant lately so I tried cheering her up by going to the beach but she declined..my heart hurts thinking that she's going to break up with me..perhaps I got too ambitious..

No. 337680

>>337662 Keep in mind too that your relationship is quite short. If you are truly trying your best, and you can’t figure out together what you could do to make her feel loved, and you guys get into an infinite loop of her asking for reassurance and you trying and failing to reassure her, sometimes that can be a personality incompatibility rather than some specific action you need to do to “fix it”. Im curious about your phasing “I have even had sex with her” though, that sounds a bit like you don’t have an ongoing active sexual life but have maybe hooked up once or twice, which of course can happen if you are closeted and can’t find time and space. Is there a possibility she wants to have more sex and feels like you would be initiating more often or making more effort to find ways to have sex if you were “really” attracted to her, but she is too ashamed to express it specifically as a desire for sex?

No. 337690

File: 1687765784057.jpeg (19.17 KB, 524x393, 2D851F1B-B198-45BF-AF92-E73CD9…)

I know I am a lesbian but I don’t want to be because it will tear at the social fabric I have established in my life due to my involvement in church life. I have to accept my fate though. Please help me.

I just realized I have been completely neurotic about sex (with males) and extremely avoidant of it, as well as being involved in a religious community in real life that’s veering on fundie… I always thought it was great that it was so easy for me to stay celibate and “take up my cross” that way, live for Jesus through not pursuing relationships or intimacy with men etc. but now I realize it’s because I have been attracted to women this entire time, for my entire life, and want to pursue serious relationships with them.

After so much time denying myself of any sexual pleasure at all because of my religious convictions I entertained one thought about women and then everything just clicked and made sense. I realized it was so easy to entertain passionate thoughts about women as well as daydream about romantic moments with other women. I’ve been into women this entire time.

I am freaking out because it will be very difficult to navigate this within my social climate in real life since I’m involved in religious life and because I will have much less experience than other lesbians coming out later in life. Please help me nonnies.

No. 337693

You know I went through something very similar to you, so I empathize. I awoke really early to lesbian thoughts and it was really hard to be in the closet back then. I relied on celibacy and mysteriously having no male partner because I was such a "good virgin", too.

What helped me is realizing I just don't have to tell my family everything. I know straight people take advantage they can introduce partners to their family members, but honestly, sometimes family members make even straight relationships hellish.
If you've built up a delicate family life, especially around church, I know how hard that can be. You can kind of end up living two lives. If it's easier for you to entertain two lives, then do that. Churchgoers don't need to know every detail even about a straight persons life anymore than they need to know every detail about your life, so think of it that way. It's also easy to get away with a lesbian partner as being a roommate, since people don't tend to expect women to ever be gay for some reason.

No. 337967

First of all I'm happy you've had an epiphany. It's indeed hard to get started on your new path but it will pay off, I can promise you that. If you get too much friction from your current church, you can always find another that will take you, there are certainly many churches that are more accepting of us. If your interest in church stuff is more about the community and not about the actual faith part, then you can find a different chosen family as well. I find social causes are often a great way to connect to people on a level that is similar to religious communities, it's gotta be something you care about deeply so you can be on the same wavelength on that thing.

Regarding experience, believe it or not there are many late bloomers like you. I was one myself, I was open about my lack of experience and I easily found mature women who were willing to understand my perspective. Take it slow and let things build. You don't need to live your life according to anyone else's timeline.

As far as telling family goes, I highly recommend either partnering with someone who is also semi-closeted (so won't mind being hidden) or just coming out to family before you bring another person into the fold. Putting it off until you have a partner "worth" rocking the boat for is such an undue burden on the woman you'll be doing that to. Lesbians are so used to compromising on everything, maybe she'd let you drag her along as you hide her but if she's out and proud, please don't shove her back in the closet because she will probably endure it to her detriment.

No. 338251

I went back to look up a song I used to love, Pussy is God by King Princess. Sadly, it turns out she's a gendie now. It's depressing to lose yet another lesbian I was a fan of.
But I still love the song and it's silly music video :'). It's one of few I have found that doesn't just describe liking women as holding hands and fluffy feelings.(:))

No. 338287

File: 1688096759370.png (32.83 KB, 2076x286, kfwepofjg3jp2.png)

I was gonna suggest the artist Fletcher but then I remembered this. We really can't have any representation in modern music, can we

No. 338289

they're so backwards it's retarded.
If gender is really so expressive then why do they have to claim to be a gendie?
like saying females can only be feminine by making trannies act specifically like the thing they are not and like how real women dont act
the fuck is wrong with people

it clearly isn't as easy as "im just a woman now" because they have to go through a whole fuckin process to even get people to pretend that they're no delusional

by definition the thing they are trying to be, must be what they are not and will never be because otherwise they wouldn't need to pretend they are

No. 338297

Does anyone have any positive dating experiences or successes with any of these apps:

Tinder, Bumble, OKcupid, Zoe, Plenty of fish, eHarmony.

How would you rank them? Any other dating app suggestions that you guys might have?

No. 338342

God is so depressing. I don't think I could list any other young celebs/idol who actually still identify as a lesbian. Really Ellen just comes to mind.
I definitely get it. In King Princess' case, she thinks not liking dresses equates to not being a woman. It's so stupid and backwards. And it's so funny that the movement pushes close as being genderless yet spazes out if that they need insert stereotypical clothing to feel validated.

No. 338344

I've only used Tinder, Bumble, OKcupid. In my opinion, it's all trash… I have no hope for dating apps. It's rare to find an actual lesbian.

I am looking into a few Facebook groups. My town has a few that are invite only for lesbians. I was accepted into one and it looks great far. They seemed to have done a good to filter for actual women.

No. 338362

Following this thread too. Honestly my experience with dating apps has been painfully unnotable. I've had 2 gfs off them (one from Hinge another from taimi). Both were pretty chill people and were open about what they wanted.

Also a question to all nonas here:

How do you feel about cosmetic surgery?

I personally want to get some but I fear this might put women off me. I already have piercings (and will have tattoos) but I'm not trying to make my dating pool even smaller than it already is. I might be overreacting or overthinking though.

No. 338366

Personally, I don't like cosmetic surgery. It's a personal preference in terms of looks, but also something that I strongly feel people shouldn't do; not unless it's for something serious like burns. Not lecturing you, just saying that some women will feel this way. Honestly though, I'm probably in the minority. I think most women won't have an issue with it. Unless it's something like ridiculous Z cup boobs, I'm sure you'll be fine. I'm an unconventional looking woman myself; I'm over 6'0, I'm a bodybuilder, my nose is messed up from being broke multiple times during my boxing days and I also have extensive Irezumi tattoos. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but I've still found plenty of women who were into me and I'm now happily married. I think you're overthinking things, nona. I can't see any of these details giving you that much trouble dating. I know this sounds soppy and overly optimistic, but your personality really is the most important thing.

No. 338367

I've used Tinder and Bumble and I live in Europe. Bumble is trash. 50% of the profiles are males and too many foreign girls. Only Tinder is ok where I live bc it's the best known platform so there are more profiles. I've met my two girlfriends on that app.

No. 338368

I had a gf for 3 years who I met on Tinder. Chatting with women was hell for me though, it was so slow and surface level. No one initiated a conversation. I matched with a lot of cute women though.

No. 338374

definitely overreacting nona,plastic surgery can be art if done in a subtle manner and with a good professional
good luck

No. 338391

I think cosmetic surgery is fine if it's to correct a small thing you're really insecure about and don't go overboard with it. Like fixing a crooked nose or getting a breast lift. I feel like it's really easy to get hooked on PS so I generally wouldn't be into it, but as long as the results look natural I don't see a problem with them. Wouldn't tolerate the freakish kind of stuff though, like fillers are pretty iffy because they often make people look very plastic-like.

No. 338469

File: 1688222834384.jpg (59.67 KB, 690x920, 7e2258ab7da49ac7327f341cbd6e85…)

Nonnas probably asked this question a trillion times, but how can I meet women to date/hookup, without relying on dating apps? Is it possible? Help

No. 338474

NTA, but adding onto the question - my bi friend is casually using Tinder & she has chatted with women who have shared that they are afraid to meet up asap because of the risk that my friend is a male catfish. How often is this true (men using female pics to catfish)? Do you guys have video calls before meeting up irl?

No. 338486

It depends on plastic surgery. I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable being with someone who had a lot of hang-ups about their appearance to the point where they got a lot of it. But for smaller things or just like, a one time thing they did, that wouldn’t put me off so much. I just kind of like women who look natural, flaws and all. Most of the women I’ve been into or with have been “average” by probably most people’s standards, but I found each of them beautiful despite or maybe even because of their imperfections tbh. When I see someone who tries too hard or looks plastic, it’s honestly a turn off because it makes me wonder about their self-esteem. All that being said, you should do what you want because some women wouldn’t mind or may like the look, idk. I often just feel like so many procedures are geared towards beauty standards that are more appealing to men rather than women.

No. 338498

It would put me off mostly because I have insecurities about my own face and knowing that a woman got plastic surgery would make me start feeling some obligation to fix my own ugly features, especially if the thing she got surgery for was a trait I shared. I know it's not rational but that's probably how I'd feel - I'm really trying to deal with my own insecurities through acceptance/improving self-esteem instead of resorting to surgery so I'd like to be with a woman who had similar principles. But I think I'm probably an outlier in that respect, in general I doubt the majority of women would care much at all.

No. 338519

>>338366 how was getting irezumi tattoos? I've heard they're pretty painful.

>>338374 subtle is what I'm aiming for! Something that looks natural or at least not too out of place.

>>338391 Fillers are rarely ever done well. I don't know what it is about them but once they migrate people get this pillowy look to their faces. It ages people too.

>>338486 I can see that. A lot of the most popular surgeries are tailored to make women look more exaggerated. Most women I've fallen for have always been considered average to many of my friends. I think ironing out features like a slightly crooked nose or dimples is a bit of a shame. They make people feel more unique.

>>338498 so for you is it more knowing that would bother you? If you didn't know you wouldn't think anything of it? I can understand feeling down about your own features if your gf had those changed.

Thank you all! Honestly I probably am overthinking it since it all comes down to preferences at the end of the day. Hearing all of your responses has given new perspectives I haven't heard as much. It's usually a hard no or a yes from most.

I want to get my breasts done because I think I might have tubular deformity. They make me feel unconfident and a little ugly tbh. I'm not a fan of the obvious plastic look myself but I always worry about ending up like that if I do go under the knife.

No. 338533

To be honest nonna, boobs are boobs. idk if I'm the outlier here but I really do not care about the shape of other women's breasts, I just like that they have them. I know breast implants are kinda dangerous, can often not feel great to hold and can poison you, which I would find a lot less sexy.

No. 338742

Unless you live in a liberal city with a big LGB scene, I don't think there is. I live in a rural-ish area and even apps are kind of dry, so I kind of gave up on that front since I don't make enough money to move somewhere else.

No. 338867

HER users, if someone deletes their app or account does it remove their profile and chat altogether from your messages? The girl I'm talking to said she deleted HER, but I saw that she disappeared from my chats.
So far, when someone deleted their profile it would keep the chat and just say the user is not available. Did she just unmatch and pretend she deleted her profile?

No. 338893

Sounds like an unmatch. She may have unmatched with everyone prior to deleting however, just to keep her footprint as minimal as possible.

No. 338903

I've only ever had tebori tattoos, so I can't compare to a machine, but honestly it's not that bad. At first it's very painful, kinda like bee stings, but after a while you normally settle into it and the pain dulls a bit. My sleeves were pretty easy, it was when I got my back piece that things got worse. The flanks of my back, my spine, my ass, my thighs, it was all pretty painful. The first day was brutal, but oddly enough by the third day of work I was falling asleep during sessions. Hearing the rhythmic noise of the needles being hammered into you is strangely relaxing, and I found that focusing on that took my mind off the pain.

I agree. I'm not picky over boobs, but implants make me nervous. I've slept with two women who had them and both times I found myself far too anxious to engage with their breasts during sex. As stupid as it sounds, I was scared of them bursting kek.

No. 338911

Nta but I feel that way about implants too, too scared to touch out of fear I’d hurt them somehow. That being said idk a lot about them, so maybe it’s okay. I can’t imagine moids care about being gentle with implants.

No. 338941

Very late answer but thank you nonna, I pray your wife will soon be pregnant. What I feel terrible about is that my child guilt about not knowing who is their dad will be put on their moms since we made the choice for them, and it's so hard on a kid. Reading what you wrote and thinking about my own childhood, I do feel like carrying a child for me would be giving back to the universe what I was given, even if not ideal.

Bless you nonna

No. 338945

AYRT, and my wife is pregnant! We found out a few days ago, and although I've been overcome by all sorts of anxieties and paranoias, I am so, so grateful for this and very excited. My wife and I feel so incredibly blessed, it feels like we're about to wake up from a dream any second now. I wish you all the best with your motherhood journey, if you choose to pursue it. Take care, nona.

No. 338947

File: 1688504064549.gif (1.07 MB, 239x200, Meme36.gif)

Omg congratulation !! I'm so happy for you two. Thank for your wish, I will keep it close to my heart.

No. 338949

Congrats nonny! I hope everything goes well with the pregnancy and you have a healthy baby.
I came to the thread to bitch and moan about some annoying treatment I got in the hospital due to my wife being there with me, but I can't seethe now, the baby announcement made me happy kek

No. 338963

Congrats, nonnie!
Sometimes I wish I had a pregnant wife so I could figure out ways to make her comfy all the time. Pregnant women are beautiful.

No. 338978

File: 1688520998533.jpg (369.31 KB, 2081x1552, me_and_my_bride.jpg)

Finished my uni year and each day I'm cleaning up my place and thinking about how to decorate it while I started my summer job. Finally will have time to work on my look too, I feel like a lesbian paradise bird trying to make a pretty nest to find a mate
Pic slightly related

No. 338997

i really hope this doesn’t come off as humble-bragging but seeing happy lesbian couples make me feel so confused and hopeless because I’ve been on various dating apps and literally not a single woman in a 60 mile radius seems like someone i would be compatible with. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m in a rural area but the majority are bi or even straight women looking for a 3rd or ‘experiment’ or they have some obvious baggage like drug issues or children (nothing against them, I’m 22 year olds and not ready to be someone’s step-mom kek) or are super obnoxious TiFs. I’m college educated with a good job, pretty attractive and no major baggage, I just someone similar enough to me/my values

No. 339018

I'm like you and in a city but I'm also struggling majorly. Along with the categories you mentioned, there's a fuckton of polyamorous/open relationship women, women just looking for sex, not to mention the ones mindbroken from their previous ex, the ones with commitment issues, the ones playing mind games etc

No. 339023

It's not humblebragging imo. It's just that you got lucky in some ways, this is a neutral statement about your current situation. Not saying you did not work hard to get there or that you had an easy start in life however you are currently privileged compared to some of us. The mental illness and general instability rates are higher in same sex attracted women than other demographics, so you're seeing the real world impact of that especially in a rural area where even het people are more likely to struggle in those ways. I am empathetic to your situation as even in cities it's a minefield as the other anon said. Just bear in mind that finding a partner is often a long process and we can't expect things to fall into our laps just because we have our intentions set. Most people have to put in a lot of work to get with someone they're truly compatible with, including non-lesbians. The good ones are often taken, it's true. There is a sort of waitlist to get with someone appealing and compatible tbh.In the meantime you can make some solid lesbian friends instead, it will widen your reach and be emotionally fulfilling as well, although it is not as fulfilling as a romantic relationship.

I don't want to resurrect the debate from a while ago but in a rural area the numbers are obviously against you way more so than in a city, I'm sure you grasp that as an educated person. While the same types of nutjobs you see in a rural area are also in cities, there are simply way more lesbians too. If you put yourself out there in a city and are truly as well-adjusted as you say then there are plenty of people to date and be happy with. Who you can land does say something about you, you'll see that throughout your life I bet.

No. 339069

Thank you so much, nonas! Since it's early days and we're not announcing to our friends and family 'til we're past the 12 week point, it's great that I can share my joy here. Hope you're all well. ♥

No. 339084

I relate although I'm past my 20s. I think what's even harder about living in a rural area and not being able to move is even finding lesbian friends in real life is like pulling teeth. I stopped using apps months ago but I don't even know what other options there are when there aren't any lesbian meetups nearby.

No. 339086

I think this is the standard lesbian dating experience these days nona. I live in a reasonably large city and I still struggle to find women I'm interested in. I mostly have my life together, have no major baggage and am reasonably attractive, so I expect the same in a partner but the only single lesbians I've found that met this criteria were terminally online gendies or 15+ years older than me. It's just crazy to me because I have no problem finding like minded women to be friends with, only to date. Maybe someone should start a lesbian-only matchmaking service.

No. 339090

>Maybe someone should start a lesbian-only matchmaking service.
I'd love something like this too, but it's 2023 and women aren't allowed to have anything exclusively for us. Every blue-haired retard online would lose their shit once they know it exists and would find a way to shut it down for being twansphobic.

No. 339103

NTA, but that's what gets me too. My friends joke about how we need a lesbian Grindr and whatnot, but I can't be excited over that because I know it'll get taken down or full of men.

No. 339113

every app that’s started out for lesbians has rebranded into being for ‘everyone’/LGBTQILMNOP, Her and Taimi are examples. This is controversial but i understands them allowing tim trannies from a marketing perspective because our society is insane and would immediately call it a Terf Genocide App, but I don’t know why even from a libfem perspective they always have to start including gay and bisexual men into it as well, why can’t we have anything to ourselves?

No. 339143

It's weird because gay and bi men generally don't want anything to do with the rest of "the alphabet", they already have their gay male spaces in real life and those hook up apps.

No. 339150

File: 1688663361585.jpg (37.88 KB, 640x973, 1681121325426.jpg)

I can't talk with women on dating apps. They all intimidate me so much and I'm constantly second-guessing my every message. I wonder, am I trying too hard? Do they think I'm ugly? Am I uninteresting? Do they know that I'm trying too hard?? What is with those half-assed responses why did you swipe if you weren't interested-
I just need a hug. I'm so alone. Being a lesbian sucks.

No. 339177

I'm single again and I want to date a woman with the same ethnic background as me, but my ethnic culture is so homophobic and patriarchal that I don't even know where to start looking.

Just message them. In my experience: half won't respond or commit to a date with you anyways, so there's no point to agonizing over step 1. "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take", etc.

No. 339178

because sometimes they (me included) only swipe to get matches as a means of feeling good about themselves. remember that they too could be on the app for a long time and nearly given up with trying with their messages too.

No. 339182

I understand why lack of experience is a red flag but it sucks. Wasted my early 20s in a shitty borderline abusive relationship, spent the rest of my 20s working on myself, and now I'm undateable and weird because I've only slept with one woman and have been single for 5+ years. Sorry I didn't rush from a toxic relationship into serial monogamy! I definitely should have fucked a ton of randoms instead of choosing celibacy until I got my shit together. Keeping my heart open in case I randomly meet some late bloomer woman or something who doesn't mind the inexperience but deleting the apps because it's too depressing.

No. 339186

How do you all deal with the self-proclaimed girly girls? I might sound selfish but my last relationship ended because my ex had a whole "Omg I'm such a femme girly girl who loves sewing and dresses and makeup and pink and Sanrio and magical girl anime" shtick and I just couldn't force myself to care about/indulge in that. I'm pretty feminine myself body and style wise but it was too much.

No. 339194

i think it depends on what kind of relationship dynamic you’re looking for, ‘traditional’ butch/femme dynamics aren’t for everyone, one of the great things about being a lesbian is you’re more likely to find a partner with more similar interests and goals to you. You’re basically describing me to a T and it’s a completely different dynamic/relationship with I’m dating another feminine woman or a butch.

No. 339204

I get you, but for me I have no experience. Personally, I’m scared to even try and I sometimes I just get too deep into the hypothetical scenarios and start spiraling, but idk what other choice do I have but try to get into the belly of the beast and try to put myself out there. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

No. 339218

Is it really a red flag to be inexperienced as a lesbian? I understand it would be eyebrow-raising for straight/bi women to be terminally single past 25 since they tend to have options, but it's often slim pickings to find other lesbians, let alone ones you feel compatible with and have a mutual attraction to. Personally I came out as a teenager, I'm past my 20s, have no experience because I never had opportunities to meet other lesbians IRL even when I looked. I bought into the "lack of experience after a certain age is a red flag" claim and even tried going on apps to find hookups and I noticed most lesbians my age aren't into that stuff. I'm not the only lesbian I know with this experience, I understand why it would be a turn-off for some individual women, but I have a hard time believing this is the majority. What I want in a relationship is mutual attraction and companionship, not body count or being "good at sex" when having sex isn't a game.

No. 339241

nobody gives a shit about your lack of experience. There must be something else… sorry

No. 339249

NTA but I was shamed by my first and second girlfriends for being inexperienced. I didn't come out and start dating until I was 22. One of them told me to my face that she was breaking up with me because I was terrible in bed, and the other told a mutual friend of ours (at the time) which was extremely embarrassing to hear from another person. I didn't know women would emphasize sex so much but they certainly did.

No. 339259

As a butch I don't mind too much, so long as there's some common ground for us to share at least a couple of hobbies. It only gets annoying when they make being femme their whole personality, same goes for butches who do that.

No. 339306

File: 1688774383282.jpg (40.34 KB, 608x900, love.jpg)

I love my wife so much. She literally makes me want to get up and be a better person every day. Try harder, be kinder, more patient. She has such a high opinion of me in the way she talks to me and makes me feel so loved, I want to measure up to that love.

No. 339381

>I didn't know women would emphasize sex so much
Of course sex matters a lot to a lesbian what kind of retarded hetero remark is this.

No. 339385

Don't be so harsh. I don't think that comment was meant in the naive cottagecore "omg I wanna braid her hair!" manner. Typically women are more understanding about sexual issues and less likely to shame another woman for lacking experience. Yes, sex is important, but I'd be shocked too if another lesbian acted in that manner. I'd expect them to acknowledge how small our dating pools can be and how hard it can be to get out there and get some experience under your belt.

No. 339479

A virgin can be clumsy her first time but if after 10 times you're still bad the problem is elsewhere. If her two ex broke up with her because sex is shit it's not an experience issue imo.

No. 339480

because every woman is the same and likes the same type of sex, right?

No. 339481

>I didn't know women would emphasize sex so much
my eyebrows have climbed so high up my forehead from reading this, i'm afraid they might never go back to normal.

No. 339483

Every woman likes someone who can understand what they like or not and adapt.

No. 339484

The idea that sex is a game and people need to bag a minimum amount of partners per year to gain exp and level up their SMV is scrote logic. Every sexual relationship should start with a clean slate, previous partners might build confidence but you can't just recycle all your old moves and assume they'll work. Maybe I'm weird but even if my partner had 100 partners before me I'd want to walk them through what I like the first time.

No. 339485

you're forgetting that virgins and inexperienced women also need time to understand what they like, and if it turns out she doesn't like doing or receiving what her partner likes, the sex will be considered "bad". you can't just blame one person.

No. 339486

>The idea that sex is a game and people need to bag a minimum amount of partners per year to gain exp and level up their SMV
i wasn't saying anything of the sort. i simply find it weird you think women would find sex unimportant.
>Every sexual relationship should start with a clean slate
say that to the std panel.

No. 339492

Yes except anon isn't a virgin. She had 2 girlfriends. I don't blame it all on her. Maybe the sexual chemistry just wasn't there. It happens. With some people it's magic, with others it sucks. But hey, if two girlfriends give the same feedback maybe she should ask herself some questions. Especially since they are girlfriends, not one-night stands.

No. 339496

>maybe she should ask herself some questions.
you're still accusing her, nonny
>Maybe the sexual chemistry just wasn't there
as far as we know, that's the only issue here and hopefully she's already dating or will find a woman who is compatible.

No. 339517

>i simply find it weird you think women would find sex unimportant.
I don't think it's weird to find sex important. I think it's weird to find number of past sexual partners important, as if 1 previous partner = lvl 1 sex skill and 5 partners = lvl 5 sex skill. A virgin might be a fast learner, and a woman with dozens of previous hookups might be selfish and lazy in bed, there's really no way to tell just from body count. Seems like a weird thing to get judgmental about, especially since the lesbian dating pool is tiny so it's objectively difficult to find partners.

No. 339531

Completely anecdotal but I used to hang around with random les/bi women off the internet in local meetups and one of them was notorious for having a really high body count but also simultaneously being bad in bed, the latter part being hush hush to everyone else but an open secret to people in the inner group of that specific crowd. It was funny too because most of the women crushed on her, including me who crushed instantly the moment I set eyes on her KEK

No. 339601

High bodycount often means hot but horrible in bed bc nobody is hitting it a second time. Lots of random bad hookups.

No. 339886

What counts as a high bodycount? Mine is 6, mostly hookups, 4/6 women but I wouldn't call myself experienced at all. It's still a little funny to me to talk to hot bi women and find out my bodycount for women is "a lot" higher than theirs though.

No. 339922

High is well into double digits, like 40+.

No. 339955

I think generational differences come into play in what's perceived as a high bodycount tbh. I'm 32 and I was out on the gay scene pretty young before it got completely destroyed by politics and before dating apps got super popular. I've slept with 30+ women which is seen as slightly higher than average for the bi and lesbian women in my age range that I know. I feel bad for zoomers because the scene is now over politicised, lesbians are vilified for simply existing and dating apps are pretty much a requirement, making it a lot harder to form connections. IMO you have to be face to face with someone to see if you have chemistry, chemistry is something beyond words. To the zoomers I know my bodycount is very high. But on the other hand, I know a couple of boomer dykes who make me look like a nun by comparison because they were around to enjoy the lesbian bars before they all closed. So yeah, it's all relative.

No. 340027

I'm deadass about to start going to the gay-friendly church near me just so that I can meet other straightedge girls without having to run the troon detection game on dating apps or go out to drinking-imvolved spaces.

No. 340031

Hmm interesting, I thought the average for a lesbian my age (34) would be under 10 but I’ve slept with 17 women, including LTRs and always thought that was bordering on almost something I would want to hide from a partner.

No. 340084

>But on the other hand, I know a couple of boomer dykes who make me look like a nun by comparison because they were around to enjoy the lesbian bars before they all closed. So yeah, it's all relative.
This is such a a depressing thing to think about.

Were the same age nonny and I'm glad I at least got to experience dating before troon ideology melted everyone's brains and dating apps requested blood samples and birth certificates to approve a profile.

No. 340087

Nayrt, but as someone from a homophobic country with right wing attitudes on the rise, I can't use the mainstream lesbian apps. I don't want to show my face. If someone outed me, my career would be over. Not too keen on having my phone number associated with gay shit either, although that one is easy to circumvent.

No. 340091

I used my face and phone number although I'm im a Muslim country, nothing is gonna happen. If someone actually finds out(they won't) just say you were looking for female friends or put bisexual accidentally (even though you're straight) and didn't know how to undo it.

No. 340092

It's worth a shot. Plenty of people go to church just because they are lonely. It will probably be mostly olds however

No. 340096

>looking for female friends or put bisexual accidentally (even though you're straight)
>on a lesbian app
good luck ig

No. 340126

Right now I keep fantasizing about going to a lesbian bar and getting hit on. Not even much more than that, just a lesbian bar experience. Get dolled up, buy a drink, have women hit on me, go dancing, kiss a stranger. Just really let loose and have fun. I’m in an area that has a lesbian bar but I feel like I can’t go because I’m in a relationship right now and it doesn’t feel right to want to do that while I’m dating someone. I wish I could, because I haven’t really had many chances to do stuff like this (as in hanging out with a bunch of lesbians with the possibility to meet people).

No. 340129

>but I feel like I can’t go because I’m in a relationship right now and it doesn’t feel right to want to do that while I’m dating someone
i broke up with my girlfriend for this reason. she was devastated but i felt guilty about having thoughts and dreams about other women all the time, but i still want to be intimate with her too. i've always believed polyamory is a meme but i'm starting to wonder if it's in my nature. then again, i don't like the idea of my ex dating someone else though. it's all fucked up, lol

No. 340144

File: 1689299836350.jpeg (18.23 KB, 225x225, IMG_2919.jpeg)

The other week there was a work party and everyone there got so drunk. My friend who is so guarded about anything personal life and I suspect has been part of a fundie Christian cult (and maybe still is) drunkenly confessed to being straight her whole life then falling in love with her female “best mate”. She asked to catch up and hinted at wanting to talk about it. I’m feeling weirdly on edge about it, I’m out and semi proud but I don’t want to be anyone’s authority on lesbianism or even have their secrets (she seemed ashamed when she told me this???). I also worry her crush is me and I’m in a ltr and not interested.

No. 340205

Why don't you go with your gf? My wife and I always visit any lesbian bar we're near when we're travelling. Of course a lot of women go there to get laid, but there's still plenty of women who go there to befriend other lesbians and just have a nice, safe environment to be in. Dancing with my wife in a lesbian bar made me realise how much I hold back when dancing with her anywhere else. Even when we're just sat down chatting, we can be tactile and openly flirt. I never realised how much I self-censor before we started going to the bars.

No. 340218

This and also you and your gf should play that game where you roleplay as strangers and she has to flirt with you and seduce you.

No. 340236

File: 1689358951634.jpeg (31.28 KB, 563x491, couldbeus.jpeg)

i feel like such a hopeless romantic because all i want is to get married and have a wife and be completely devoted to one person who's also completely devoted to me. however, most lesbians/bi women i've dated before have ridiculed me for having this desire and say marriage is patriarchal, heteronormative etc. and while i do agree that yes the root of marriage is patriarchal, that doesn't mean i'm conforming if i simply wanna marry someone i love. it's more like a show of commitment and devotion, which is something so beautiful and sacred imo. why wouldn't anyone want that?
a lot of lesbians seem to only date casually and have multiple partners on the side while being in a "committed" main relationship (polyamory basically). i've been a "main" in relationships like this before, and it makes me sick to my stomach. i don't see the appeal / romance in having to share sexual partners. being cheated on hurts so much, and being poly is a waste of time. what's the point of dating someone if it's going nowhere / not serious?
is monogamy not a thing anymore or something? it's not like i'm old either, i'm only 24. and let me clarify that i'm totally fine with not getting married in my 20s– i just wish for a stable relationship where both parties are dating to marry eventually.
am i crazy for wanting this?

No. 340239

Sad to hear that, getting married one day is one of my dreams. I don’t even know why everyone (regardless of their sex and sexuality) is so against marriage nowadays, I keep hearing people around me saying it’s just a stupid bureaucracy; not even my cousin who has 2 children and has been dating her boyfriend for a decade wants to marry.

> it's more like a show of commitment and devotion, which is something so beautiful and sacred imo. why wouldn't anyone want that?

Exactly, I view it like that as well. The only downside of marriage is the possible divorce, but that isn’t even something that should happen if you have chosen wisely (and I imagine lesbian divorce is less common anyways since the cause of most divorces is due to men)

No. 340241

Because divorce is a legal nightmare kek.

No. 340243

It may be a legal nightname, but it's worth going thru it (at least over here, I don't know about the US) since the government gives benefits to married couples as well

No. 340248

You're not crazy, nona. I think there's plenty of hopeless romantics like us out there, but we just keep quiet now because people are so open-minded towards sex and relationships that their brains fell out. Getting married was the greatest thing I ever did, the culmination of all my life's efforts. I took a huge gamble after my first kiss with my wife, I told her if we kept on kissing that I'd fall in love with her and start planning out our white picket fence, marriage and kids future. Most lesbians would call me insane and run a mile from me for that, and fair enough if it's not for them. But you gotta wear your heart on your sleeve. Don't let these queer, "ethical" cheaters get you down. Don't try and play it "cool" either; I tried playing it cool and I wasted years of my life with women who belittled my "heteronormative" dreams. As corny as it sounds, those dreams of marriage and kids kept me going through some dark times. Now my wife and I have a little one (or maybe two) on the way, I know that everything was worth it. As for age, I didn't meet my wife 'til I was 30 so don't worry about that, you've got plenty of time. Just don't let people be dicks to you, nona. I hope one day you get everything you've wished for. Godspeed.

You can always get a pre-nup, my wife and I have one. I was actually super against it, but long story short, my wife wanted to prove she would never go after my money as I'm a self-made businesswoman. I would never think such a thing of her, but situations reversed? I'd also want to prove the same to her, so I get it. You can be a romantic and also be logical.

No. 340255

You're not crazy at all nona. I feel the same as you and we're almost the same age, and I'm lucky enough to love someone who is also a huge sap and wanted to settle down asap. We got married last year. You will find your person, it just takes time. Keep putting yourself out there.

No. 340261

I wanna start dating and getting into the lesbian scene more (I live somewhere with a huge gay scene but all the lesbians are she/theys). Any advice from more experienced lesbians when it comes to dating? So far I know to avoid bisexual girls with preferences for men

No. 340264

Avoid all bisexuals. Period.
No matter what they say, ALL of them have a preference for men and will happily remind you that "men are easier" whenever you get into an argument, if you're lucky. If you're not lucky, she'll just fuck some male co-worker and say the emotional stress you put on her is what made her do it.

Source: I have dated more bisexuals than any lesbian ever should.

No. 340597

What's going on with women on the apps telling you all about their dates? It's so inelegant. Especially bi women. They date guys, tell you how bad it was, but they do it again and again. It's disgusting why you tell me that.

No. 340606

My guess, at least in bi case, is that they don’t see you as a dating prospect but more like a fellow girlie to gossip about men with

No. 340614

Agreed, they don't know how to approach women as though they are attracted to us. They treat us like their besties and think that counts as courtship. I'm pretty sure they don't court men this way but think women communicate platonically during the texting phase kek.

No. 340615

It's so humiliating. A straight man of woman would never talk about their old adventures on a date… Generally speaking, I find that some women make so little effort to seduce !

No. 340621

>however, most lesbians/bi women i've dated before have ridiculed me for having this desire and say marriage is patriarchal, heteronormative etc.
>a lot of lesbians seem to only date casually
This seems pretty common, I wish I could find these lesbians you describe IRL. I have no ill will towards lesbians who want to settle down and only have serious romantic relationships (I wish them the best), but I honestly have felt broken for not wanting the same thing.

No. 340659

Do lesbians care about their potential partners being virgins in their late 20s-early 30s? I didn't have many options for girlfriends where I lived, and then I wasted my early 20s with a "bisexual" who could barely stand to kiss other women, much less sleep with them. I was so burned after we broke up that I stopped dating altogether. I am not a casual hookup girl, so this means I have zero experience beyond making out at 28 years old. Now I'm worried if I try to enter the dating scene again, other women will think I'm weird or a red flag for being so sexually inexperienced. I hope not, I need a romantic outdoorsy butch gf so badly it's making me a lunatic.

No. 340661

Same, I've always avoided dating because a lot of lesbians I've met are already planning our family grave on the first date while I just want to have something casual. I guess it's because we're so few in numbers that we want to latch on to a sliver of hope of not dying alone, but to be perfectly honest I've always longed more for a casual FWB thing to see where it goes than a serious relationship due to being kind of a free spirit looking to experience all that I can. A lot of lesbians that I know have been dating since they were like 16-20 while marrying a highschool sweetheart is my ultimate nightmare.

No. 340683

>they don’t see you as a dating prospect but more like a fellow girlie to gossip about men with
A bi woman I dated used to tell me about all the guys who flirted with her that day as if I were supposed to find it cute or funny. This happened while we were supposedly an exclusive couple. They don't see it as disrespectful or weird because they don't take lesbian relationships seriously at all.

No. 340787

>but to be perfectly honest I've always longed more for a casual FWB thing to see where it goes than a serious relationship due to being kind of a free spirit looking to experience all that I can.
AYRT, how old are you? I think another issue is it's never lesbians my age that want something similar to me. I'm not even comfortable being friends with women super younger or older than me, so getting liked by them on apps when I tried to look for this made me uncomfortable. When I was told that "apps are full of people who like that" I guess they only mean the straight dating side.

>A lot of lesbians that I know have been dating since they were like 16-20 while marrying a highschool sweetheart is my ultimate nightmare.

I have traumatic experience of being used by a bi girl around that age, so it frustrates me how only bisexuals with boyfriends or with weak same-sex attraction only want to have casual dating or FWBs with me or other women in general. I don't have anything against them as long as they disclose their intentions, but what I really want is another lesbian. I understand it's a numbers game ("alternative" straight and bisexual people of either sex and even gay men can afford to have different dynamics than settling down) but it makes me feel like something's wrong with me when most lesbians my age that I meet are taken and have/want a wife and I can't even find a girlfriend or platonic friend with similar feelings on relationships as I do.

No. 340915

File: 1689800696132.jpg (141 KB, 828x762, tumblr_06873044f64fa1cb52d7e0b…)


No. 340916

If she ever decides in the future that she's in love with a man after she told her family she was lesbian, this will really hurt the lesbian image because it will come off as just optional to her family. But if she knows for a fact that she will never enter a relationship with a man, then maybe this is the best option for her. I mean don't get me wrong, lying about being a lesbian when you're not one is bad, but if it's only lying to her family when her family is conservative or way too closed minded to understand, then I can't blame her for trying to deal with them. They still might not really believer her though even if she claims to be lesbian. A lot of conservative families consider lesbianism to just be a 'sex freak' phase that women will grow out of. The OP might have to end up cutting her family out anyways. It's definitely hard when you don't have a good family.

No. 340917

i don't like the idea of coming out full stop, so i don't have any strong opinions on the stuff that follows.

No. 340920

Will have a date in a few days were it will probably finish in bed, but I only had a fling some years ago with an almost stone girl.
Will tell my date I'm inexperimented but still what is the worst stuff, or thing you dislike most done to you in bed? I need something to ease my mind before I do something stupid, since I never properly tried to please another woman.

No. 340921

>what is the worst stuff, or thing you dislike most done to you in bed?
her staring at me from above, focused and dead serious, while working on my orgasm like it's a video game achievement.
probably tmi but i like it sensual, passionate, necking and rolling around on the bed and dry humping and making out before we get to the main course. most girls do.

No. 340949

Girl I dated did not know how to clean down there properly but she was really handsome and was my firsy girlfriend, so I went down on her anyways even if it smelled bad.
Had to finally outright tell her to clean better because eventually I got a whole ball (like grain of rice sized) of like… smegma that was grayish in color in my mouth while eating her out. Disgusting.

No. 340950

I just don't think her perception of things is true. If your family is homophobic enough to act like this about you dating a woman over a man while bi, then they're homophobic enough to be assholes about you being lesbian. And if they're progressive enough to just accept that you're lesbian, then they're progressive enough to get over you being bisexual and dating a woman over a man, eventually.

No. 340951

Being bisexual isn’t that hard to grasp she should just be honest. She has internalized homophobia from her upbringing (sorry to sound like an advice blog comment from 2013) that she should address with herself honestly. That said I don’t care if she lies to her family it doesn’t sound like a great relationship maybe she knows best.

No. 340952

omfg. Just reading your post is traumatizing. I'm so sorry.

No. 340955

>I will have to come out to my family

You literally don't. Being outed is an understandable fear but it doesn't seem to be this woman's issue. People may be assholes to bisexuals (ie it's not legit, gay/straight in denial and so on) but they are more accepting of bisexual women than lesbians (namely because they are seen as more 'slutty and desireable by men). Lesbians are very much expected and bullied into denying their sexuality. Some are even correctively raped, beaten and abused to change them.

This user should just date men until she's not reliant on her family if she has to date. If dating other women can put her in danger, she can just choose the 'acceptable' option. I don't want to sound unempathetic but she's still able to date and be happy.

No. 340992

You're not gonna get me banned for a-logging that easy. Nice try, nona.

No. 340994

F for you nonna, will never need ozempic after reading that
Would totally see how it would be a turn off, not romantic at all… I'm the type who ask if everything is alright every time I want to do another move, but the girl I have a date with is more of the silent type. Kind of make me anxious

No. 341017

it could've been toilet paper too. i dated a woman who had long pubic hair (which generally isn't a problem for me) but she was also into earth friendly products and the toilet paper she used was very bad. it left little balls and strings of rolled up paper all over her pussy, inside and in the hairs. i insisted that she trim ahead of time because of that, which killed the spontaneity of sex but it really kills the mood when you spend ten minutes picking tp from your lover's pussy before eating them out.

No. 341021

>This user should just date men until she's not reliant on her family if she has to date. If dating other women can put her in danger, she can just choose the 'acceptable' option. I don't want to sound unempathetic but she's still able to date and be happy.

You know that's not how bisexuality works right ? You don't chose who you in love with…

No. 341022

>If dating other women can put her in danger, she can just choose the 'acceptable' option. I don't want to sound unempathetic but she's still able to date and be happy.
This is what gets me about most bi women. I get it sucks to deny your sexuality and stay closeted about a part of yourself, but as a result most (I know not all of them, but I've never net a Febfem in real life) bi women I know end up living lives identical to straight women, therefore accessing and experiencing a form of straight privilege even if it "erases" them. Meanwhile I've spent my teens and 20s single, which has been used as a point of suspicion against me. Even when I "erased" myself and pretended to like celebrity guys or just say I'm asexual, homophobes called bullshit. I once saw someone claim that saying bisexuals pass as straight in het relationships isn't true because lesbians pass as straight when they're single, but I've never been in a relationship and get clocked. But I knew GNC straight/bi girls in real life who dodged abuse for "looking gay" when they got a boyfriend.

I get moids suck and nearly all heterosexual relationships are miserable, but it's frustrating how even other non-libfem OSA women get so caught up in that they forget being OSA and accessing relationships with men is a privilege. It's so hard for me to have any sympathy anymore.

No. 341028

NTA but while you don't choose who you fall for, you do choose who to go on dates with and begin the process in the first place. If one is capable of attraction to both sexes they absolutely can deliberately go on dates with only one sex and nurture that. I may be a lesbian but as an adult I've passed on many women I clicked with simply because the relationship would not have been viable, even if I wanted her. It's not this uncontrollable crazy thing, love and partnership is something you continuously choose to pursue.

No. 341039

File: 1689864201452.jpg (64.2 KB, 642x629, dasyou.JPG)

You're probably right about that since most of you end up choosing men despite claiming to be attracted to both sexes. I feel zero sympathy for bisexuals and their made up "struggle"

No. 341042

I am so tired of bisexuals and discussion of bisexuals and complaints about bisexuals shitting up the lesbian thread

No. 341049

I don't know her personal situation but she may be in love with a woman or she prefers women. I agree that women in a happy relationship with a man shouldn't complain but there are also bis with women… My exes were all bi with a huge preference for women so they were also going through issues related to homophobia. They can't force themselves overnight "now I prefer men hop goodbye women".

No. 341077

>bragging about being low empathy
>general obvious hatred of women
kill yourself males. and if you're not males kill yourselves for thinking and acting just like them anyway. no wonder people compare us to moids when you fucking troglodytes exist. disgusting.(infighting)

No. 341078

I also wonder what >>341039 would have to say about these stats:
Let me guess - it's all fake news, actually, and stats are only real when they're about how bisexual women are faking it and not when dykes are beating their girlfriends up at a rate compatible to heterosexual moids? Kek.(Baiting)

No. 341079

Remember to ignore&report bait nonnies. Do not engage.

No. 341080

The DARVO is strong with these ones.

No. 341081

Don't reply to the baiting male and remember that lesbian abuse statistics mean that lesbos are more likely to get abused by their peers, family, etc. not that they're more abusive.

No. 341086

How many women are killed each year by their male partners vs female partners?

No. 341093

File: 1689885049354.png (70.32 KB, 560x328, addendum.png)

This literally what the stats that lesbophobes and MRAs love bringing up are saying. This was even explained earlier in this thread, >>328997

It's interesting how moids perpetuate 97% of rapes, murders, and domestic violence (which is why bi women's rates are high - moids see female SSA as a porn category and threesome fodder), but lesbians are roughly 1-2% of the population and somehow equally abusive as these moids. Make it make sense. I've talked to 5x more lesbians who have never been in a relationship or were abused by moids via gaybashing than abused by another lesbian. My female assaulter was a bihet who went back to her boyfriend after. That's not to say DV among lesbians never happens, a close friend of mine went through it. But it makes me sick how it's constantly exaggerated and weaponized against us by OSA women, men, and right wingers.

No. 341094

Also those studies prove nothing but that lesbians are more likely to suffer emotional distress and have drinking problems which is a trend across all LGBT demographics due to being ostracized and the minority stress they are trying to cope with since both partners tend to be both perpetrators and victims, and compared to straight relationships women are also more at ease at using physical force against each other than they would against a man who could easily overpower them. In lesbian relationships physical assault is often limited to pushing and slapping while men are more likely to outright rape and brutally beat up their girlfriends, or even kill them. I don't have the exact stat based on the questionnaire that defined the forms of assault at hand right now but for example this one specifically mentions that bisexual and heterosexual women were most likely to be injured by an intimate partner. https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/cdc_nisvs_victimization_final-a.pdf

No. 341101

It's amazing how little it takes for them come into our thread to call us men and spew other homophobic bullshit at us. >>341039 stats aside, it's painfully obvious how much they hate us.

No. 341109

File: 1689893814106.jpg (63.8 KB, 768x1024, 1677276336380705.jpg)

Tired of dating apps and the culture of disposability they nourish. Tired of bars and the hypersexual culture. Tired of being played and only seen as a sexual object or rebound from broken women still obsessed with their exes or just looking for attention.
Dating sucks, I think I'll stick to romance novels. Sorry to be a downer

No. 341150

Same nonnie, everywhere I look it’s just sex sex sex, casual relationships, polycules, sex. I think trying to date is making me go insane (and slightly sex repulsed).

No. 341196

No jokes, I had to stop for a long while because it was messing with my self esteem. I felt like I had to be more and more sexual to get a woman's attention, and I was losing myself in all the pretending.

No. 341622

Please don't mob me.
Would there be interest from anons here to start a goldstar thread? We don't have to talk about that specifically but it's nice to have the reassurance to all have that in common full stop. As for duplicate concerns, I think it will be a unique thread.

No. 341626

I'd be down for that. My only concern is that the discussions can only go so far, so it might end up being ditched after a while. Of course the alternative isn't great either as sometimes retards will start screeching like a pterodactyl if you mention being g*ldstar in here kek.

No. 341627

Nonas, who live in countries with little to none lesbians, how do you cope with it? I feel like giving up honestly, I've met few bi/les women here but never really clicked with any of them, a lot of them seem to have very similar mannerism and personalities

No. 341675

Bad idea. I'm a goldstar too but I don't know why I'd need an entire thread to sperg about being goldstar. It would be a nonstop infight and I'm tired of both sides of the drama. Not trying to mob you though, deleted and reposted because my original sounded too harsh lol. If we were on a lesbian focused imageboard I think it'd be cool to have hyperspecific threads like that. But I think it's a really bad idea for here, I think it would just attract trolls and infighting that would spread across the entire site.

No. 341676

NTA but man, it pisses me off that there's 101 husbando threads on /g/ alone (including that devotion one promoting a very unhealthy mental attitude imo), not including the 3DPD in /m/, but a second lesbian thread would attract trolls. Sometimes I really do wonder why I keep coming back here.

No. 341677

>lesbian-specific imageboard
That sounds so cool..unfortunately will never happen and even if it will, it will get overrun by males and spicy straights. I am often sad that lesbian spaces only revolve around being a lesbian and that you can’t just have a regular space where you talk about random things/interests but only with other lesbians

No. 341678

>you can’t just have a regular space where you talk about random things/interests but only with other lesbians
This is what fandom spaces are for

No. 341682

>have a regular space where you talk about random things/interests but only with other lesbians
Original anon who proposed it, this is what I was going for. But you're right that such an endeavor is by nature doomed from the start, the thread would get immediately trolled/trashed and would never survive. And I would be annoyed with just insular focus on gs too, I just wanted the reassurance of that being our unifying characteristic where we could talk about anything and focus on lots of other different things.
It's just so upsetting to think about the entire thing in general.

No. 341684

actually there was one in my country, but it only lived for a month, because admin had no funds to pay for server kek. The entire user-base was comprised of lesbians from a big-but-not-lesbian imageboard.

No. 341687

does anyone have an estimate of about how much this would cost

No. 341689

NTA but I've been in fandom since I was a teenager (early 30s now) and finding actual lesbians in those spaces was always difficult (in my experience - I'm sure some media lends well to it but I've always been a weeb/animation and game fan), it's just harder now. If I see a server advertised for "lesbian fans of [media]" it's full of TIMs and zoomers. I also stopped participating in fandom spaces due to how purity damaged and gendie/woke homophobic they are.

No. 341691

i think it's possible with someone autistic enough not only to dedicate themselves to building a protected space online like this but to moderate it. would you care if it's an anonymous board like lc or invite only private forum? i think most of us naturally gravitate towards anonymous imageboards because there is less social commitment

i'm interested in creating a torrent tracker for lesbian content, almost like a community archive of anything lesbian (could be a music video, movie, game but often the problem with talking about lesbian content on public forums is not being able to actually access it) with a side forum for discussion.. and you can join either the tracker or forum or both if invited by a member. there are literally so many ways to do this with the right people.. i'll probably do it eventually as a project for myself anyway

No. 341701

I've toyed with the idea of making a psuedo-anon board. Login info is hidden from posters but viewable on the backend to make moderation easier. Could have invite codes like Ovarit to make it harder to sockpuppet. I'd also probably restrict image posting somehow to cut back on gross image spam, maybe a large catalog of approved reaction images etc users can pick from with the ability to submit new photos to the catalog pending mod approval.

I've put an embarrassing amount of thought into it actually, lol. I used to plan it out in my head at work to pass the time. I don't think I'd ever actually do it though because I'm nervous about liability. All my security ideas would simply reduce moid invasions, not eliminate them entirely, and I don't want to be legally responsible for a forum full of bomb threats and CP.

No. 341709

I think it'd be great if posts and images would go through mod's approval first so moids would get filtered out without the site getting spammed. This would make the site slower though, that's the downside of it ig

No. 341710

How about make a thread here on a hidden board?
Or is it still get drowned by trolls?

No. 341713

I'm thinking about an anonymous forum. Which is much, much easier to moderate.
Only allow links to media, no direct upload. Users make new threads in a dedicated section of the forum, each thread must reach a certain number of posts (say, 20), then the mods place them into the forum proper with other threads.

No. 341715

No idea how feasible it actually is, but I personally think an invite only/closed beta forum with an anonymous interior would be optimal. Like, maybe you can only have access to threads (posting AND viewing) if you sign in, but then when you get there, whatever you post is totally anonymous and doesn't attach a username to it. This way it would be extremely easy to ban moids or lesbian larpers if ever they get in.

No. 341731

NTA but also early 30's nerd and fandom is hell. I mainly focus on game fandoms and it's such a mess that I just gave up on it. My wife is a gamer so I can share some of my silly little thoughts with her, but we don't have too many games in common. Would love a lesbian only board so I could comfortably be a dork without having to hear the word "gender" or put up with husbandofagging.

No. 341829

I guess could've posted this in that one 2X thread thread but I figured more anons here could relate to it. I'm just done with OSA women. I'm so sick of every feminist discussion having to include men in some way, I'm so sick of how they are willing to sell other women out just to please men, I fucking despise how much they just don't seem to give a shit about other women at all. They don't have the incentive to, they can live through their life fully well with only male social contacts and remain contented, so why would they sacrifice their attractiveness to men for other women? Why defend female rights when they know it will dent their reputation in the eyes of Nigel? The way they turn awkward and fidgety when digging deep into the oppression women face will never leave me. It's heartbreaking to realize that despite always looking out for these women myself they will never return the favor and will consider me a crazy predatory feminazi sex offender if the chance ever occurs. How will I deal with this outright rejection without going full blackpill?

No. 341834

Even if you're a lesbian, feminism has to include ways to deal with men whether that be men harassing you in the workplace(nonsexually too),male bosses choosing to hire a less well equipped candidate just because he's a male, women getting paid less, etc.
You're probably a polilezzy if you're stupid enough to assume that not dating a man means men can't oppress you anymore.

No. 341835

What the fuck are you talking about? "Including men in feminist discussion" means taking their feelings and emotions into consideration with every topic even at the expense of female rights, not talking about the oppression men bestow upon women which is one of the core aspects of feminist discourse. Are you daft?

No. 341836

Sorry but what is OSA exactly ?

No. 341837

Opposite sex attracted women i.e. straight and bi women.

No. 341839

Man, I know how this feels. Especially the part about still being seen as a predator. I wish I had an answer on how to deal with this without going blackpill, but I don't. I've actually limited the amount of time and energy I give to political issues recently, because after years of volunteering and advocacy, I've finally realised how fruitless it was. Maybe that's the only solution, that ignorance really is bliss. I hope not, but it's hard not to think that most days.

The reading comprehension on this site is going down the toilet.

No. 341869

Personally I am more tired by the fake misandrists who act hard online, reeeing about how bad men are and yet have a whole ass nigel sleeping in their beds, washing his shit-stained underwear and serving him dinner right after they finish yet another muh men bad rant.
>It's heartbreaking to realize that despite always looking out for these women myself they will never return the favor and will consider me a crazy predatory feminazi sex offender if the chance ever occurs.
They don't owe you anything and you don't owe them anything either. I see this with lesbians all the time, us overextending ourselves and looking out for osa women, but it is time to understand that our goals and values are completely different. You want liberation, they want their oppressors to act nice(r) to them. Sisterhood is not real. So the answer is to just learn to take it easy and prioritize yourself.

No. 341872

>You want liberation, they want their oppressors to act nice(r) to them
NTA but I came here to post exactly this. Lesbians and OSAs are always going to be at odds because OSAs approach the world with a male reformist mindset, meanwhile lesbians genuinely care for other women and seek specifically to create spaces in which we are safe and happy. If any lesbian craves sisterhood or desires to empower other women, she should seek to only surround herself with other lesbians. Being a lesbian separatist is powerful, and I see no reason why any of us waste our time, effort, or resources on women who care not about their own liberation and health, but about their right to complain about their own choice to sleep with their oppressors.
>I am more tired by the fake misandrists who act hard online, reeeing about how bad men are and yet have a whole ass nigel sleeping in their beds
It's really aggravating, but I guess it's easier for OSAs to give a simple "I hate men" than to actually participate in critical thinking.

No. 341887

There's a really cute woman who works at a restaurant I frequent. She gives off lesbian vibes and I always end up interacting with her whenever I'm there. Today she made eye contact with me as soon as I came in despite being busy with other customers, I got nervous and looked away. I would love to ask her out, but I would feel really embarrassed if she isn't actually gay or is in a relationship already and I end up having to eat my meals with a side order of shame every time I go back there.

I agree 100%
I also believe gender ideology is a psyop to derail feminism and prevent this from happening, but that's just my tinfoil hat thought

No. 341899

Was thinking a few days ago about making a thread for lesbians to rant on OSA women and other spicy topics on the hidden board ( so less husbandofags to seeth at it ) Is it time ?

No. 341909

Talk to her! Just start out with small talk and see if there's a vibe there. If there is, try complimenting her on something that can be played off as platonic if she's straight or in a relationship. Even if this goes nowhere, consider it practice. I think one of the biggest problems for lesbians is that we overthink things and get very nervous. We need to be more bold in actually approaching women and talking to them. I wouldn't be married today if it weren't for the boring small talk I struck up with my wife, before making my "I'm gay but if you're not then no homo" compliment on her fashion sense. And yes, gender ideology has been astroturf'd into modern culture. An interesting fact is that Ellen Page came out as FTM on the day of the Kira Bell ruling. Weird coincidence, huh?

No. 341911

Samefagging but hidden board? You mean 2X? I'm down for the thread though. I have to bite my tongue so much for OSA antics, would be nice to scream about it somewhere and get it off my chest.

No. 341944

for those who use dating apps, is there anything you signal/'dogwhistle' on your profile to show you're crypto that others could recognize? i'm not looking for full blown radfems to date or anything but i dont want to waste my time conversing with gendies or supporters and would rather be with someone a little like-minded

i include liking harry potter in my bio because that weeds out the "liking hp = literally killing trans people" types at the very least but theres still TRAs that like the series so its not entirely foolproof

No. 341962

I like this idea.

No. 341983

Sounds good to me. I just wish I was more experienced so. I could actually contribute more to what all the nonnas here have to say. It's always nice to hear from the happily married crowd ♥

No. 341992

Put it up on 2X, see you there !

No. 341996

File: 1690361988520.jpg (574.82 KB, 608x1258, horizontal aggression.jpg)

>They don't owe you anything and you don't owe them anything either.
This is honestly true and a wake-up call. After I read the Ses purs ongles essays (picrel, a very recommended read) I realized how much lesbians are manipulated into being handmaidens for OSA women and never demand anything just for themselves, and it's completely due to us having different goals in life and nothing will ever change that. While we both want to be seen as equals to men, they're willing to haggle and bargain just so they can have a man by their side. We're not, because we don't desire male company like they do. As a life-long feminist it's a heartache to admit, but there's no point in constantly fighting their battles and softening my words for them. They will never appreciate it and never see it from my viewpoint, and I will never understand their desire to sell their entire gender short just so that Nigel could maybe treat them a bit more respectfully.

No. 342027

File: 1690384797388.gif (1.18 MB, 498x371, lisa-simpson-waiting.gif)

Women my age couldn't make it more obvious that they see me as a freak weirdo for being a butch lesbian. In every interaction there's this lingering disgust in the air. They're polite, but they're cold. I'm grateful not to be single. If I were trying to date in this environment I'd lose every ounce of self confidence I have. As it is, it still gets to me. I tend to make friends with older women and whatever men don't act aggressive and weird towards me. Sometimes when I see someone shying away from me in the hall I just want to stop and say "I'm fucking normal, get it? Calm down!". All I need to do to get this affect is cut my hair, it's insane. Sometimes I think about growing it out again.

No. 342121

File: 1690431522104.jpg (72.81 KB, 592x581, 8WbiicP.jpg)

Every woman I've fallen for always ends up transitioning later in life, and there are no local gay bars in my area. I'm scared/uncomfortable with trying dating apps, I truly feel like a hopeless romantic.

I wish I was better at communication, i lost contact with my last crush when I moved out of town for university. She was gorgeous and we had so much in common. I didn't pursue her back when she ID'd as he/they, but since moving she's back to being a femme cis woman. I miss her… why didn't i make efforts to stay in touch.

No. 342122

AYRT. Damn, I envy how a lot of other lesbians in my boat at least have someone like a partner to talk to, but I'm still trying to find tolerable friends into the things I am. I tend to be ride-or-die with one certain thing for a few years and rarely branch out. I'm fine with listening to others sperg, even if I don't know the series and vice versa, but I have such specific tastes that if I find a "gaming" space I'm not gonna care for 90% of the stuff there. I've been desperate enough to find normie non-lesbians in fandoms but they tend to either be super young or batshit insane gendies.

No. 342145

File: 1690449719124.jpg (720.23 KB, 2667x2492, 1657226306690.jpg)

> see a GNC woman on the street
> smile and double take
> shit it was a young moid
> smile instantly turn upside down

am I the only one or I'm just retarded