File: 1681196740708.jpg (80.97 KB, 612x613, tumblr_570fd269cecee05d85abf3b…)
No. 321065
Please keep posts focused on women and female homosexuality! If you want to talk about attraction toward males it probably belongs in the bisexuality thread or questioning thread (check the catalog, they're usually not on the front page but I promise they exist!). Please ignore obvious bihet/troon/tradthot/fujo/etc rage bait as well. Remember that when we take the bait and infight the trannies win! If you suspect a poster is XY pls report and ignore instead of shitting up the entire thread with accusations. Newfags pls lurk and read the site rules before posting, and be careful to stay safe and anonymous (use a VPN, incognito mode, be wary of external links/discords, and be very cautious about the personal details you include in your posts).
Topics of discussion may include but are not limited to:
>first crush?>what’s your local lesbian scene like?>cute stories about your gf>favourite lesbian media? lesbian media you hate?>coming out stories>are there any cows you’d uhaul with?>bitch about being lonely>tips for coping with being lonely>butch? femme? how do you feel about labels?>top? bottom? how do you feel about those labels?>what's your type?>when did you know you were gay?>f/f fanfic and book recs (pls)>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? which ones don’t fit you at all?>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?>what do you wanna be like as an old lady lesbian? >get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etc>best date/match? worst?>how homophobic are your family/friends? is it woke homophobia or oldschool homophobia?>dating app horror stories>everything we hate about every other online lesbian community>lesbian friends, role models, or family members you appreciate>lesbian history, literature, and politicsprevious threads:
#1-
>>>/g/132141#2-
>>>/g/174105#3-
>>>/g/200981#4-
>>>/g/247377#5-
>>>/g/273508#6-
>>>/g/296902 No. 321066
File: 1681197014108.jpg (643.09 KB, 1907x2048, tumblr_069b59754b499f61de62a26…)
This photo was my runner-up for the threadpic.
No. 321120
File: 1681233559621.jpg (71.39 KB, 360x553, 9781635570304.jpg)
Can I bring back the book discussion from the last thread? I just read Priory of the Orange Tree and it was pretty good, it had a good plot independent of the lesbian relationship and lots of well written female characters in general. One of the women in the lesbian pairing is canonically bi according to the author's comments on social media but I didn't interpret her that way at all while reading, she seemed like a case of genuine comphet didn't want to be with men or have children, but she's a queen so she was pressured to marry for political reasons
No. 321241
Trigger warning: rape, mental health issues do not read if these are triggering
I got raped by moid at a party and it is fucking up my sexuality. I used to be so secure in my lesbianism but now I hate to call myself lesbian because it feels like I'm giving others a bad name. It's not even that I like men now, I still refuse to touch them. It's that I keep thinking about the rapist in romantic way because acknowledging what he did to me gives me anxiety. To the point where I've been texting him back like a desperate ex, I literally never knew this man before.
It's sucks because that whole night moids kept kissing me when all I wanted to do was start a convo, I remembered all I did was say hi to one and ask for his name then he started kissing me. It's like I'm just a body to them. I have always been depressed but I think this might push me to the edge. It's not just the Stockholm syndrome I'm developing, it's that i feel more hypersexual and it's disgusting. I was a virgin before because even before I fully came to terms with being lesbian I was never interested in dating guys during highschool. Now i lost my virginity to a man who raped and I can't even remember it because i think he drugged me. Someone else had to tell me I got raped. I have never blacked out like that before. It has been months and i should be getting over it but i can't, i feel like I'm going insane. I feel like this world is rejecting me. I was already dreading it because of fear of my homophobic family rejecting it once I come out. But now what's the point of that when I don't feel like I can ever have a romantic relationship with anyone? Everyday my mind keeps revisiting that night and trying to remember the whole thing. I think my mind is trying to cope with the anxiety by making it seem consensual and forcing weird feelings of infatuation towards him(it was not, there is no way a consensual thing would leave me this fucked up). But this event that traumatised me is completely gone and the only other person who might remember is the same person who hurt me. Maybe that's why I am so obsessed with him. I just want him to tell me everything that happened but I blocked him because I didn't want to mess up the police case. But it's been forever and it seems like the police haven't even started investigating, so it feels so useless. Because now even he's blocking me. My friends who tried to protect me that night said like I can come to them for support but I don't want to trauma dump them and it feels like they are avoiding me. I literally saw them posting online about partying at the same place I got raped. I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone else not even my parents because they are super religious and it feels like they are victim blaming me for going to a party with "non-believers". So I'm dumping all my emotions here. I am so done with this world, I am suck academically, my social life is shitty and the one thing I'm supposed to have control over (my agency/sexuality) got violated. I feel like lolcow is the only place where people understand me without judging me.
No. 321265
>>321244>>321243>>321227>>321249Russian speaking nonnas exist? Wasn't expecting that (im not the only one yay)
And yeah, 2ch sucks ass
No. 321274
File: 1681325542265.jpg (192.76 KB, 568x855, 9781635577921.jpg)
>>321262I was kind of sad too lol, he seemed like a genuinely nice Nigel type
which is further evidence of her lesbianism instead of bisexuality imo, can't remember the exact quote but at one point she said something like "even though he was gentle and kind it still never felt right". I really liked her character, the tokophobia and lifelong dread of knowing she'd eventually have to marry was extremely relatable. I remember feeling the same way as a kid. I didn't know lesbianism was a thing until my teens so I spent my whole childhood terrified to grow up because I thought pregnancy and husbands automatically happened to women when we hit adulthood.
I'm reading the prequel now and it's pretty good too. There's less focus on romance (there is a lesbian couple in the POV characters, but they don't seem as important as
Ead/Sabran so far) but it still has lots of well written female characters so I'm happy.
No. 321393
>>321241I'm so sorry you went through that
nonnie. I genuinely think you need some help as someone who has gone through similar. The sooner, the better. Wishing you the best.
No. 321471
Sometimes, my face unfurls
From what it’s supposed to be
And I shed my big girl clothes
And I slither back into Me
Sometimes I realise it’s been…
one year. Flowers open their skirts
to the sun’s gaze, crumple again:
pulled to death by steel wind
Julia, I uncork and remember-
my bones sink into liquid fire
Warm again, I drink in the memory
Your face, breaths, stir embers
Alone with your ghost, I sip,
float into your reverie, see
how your hands flutter, urgent,
bright eyed ferret, pillow lips
Sometimes, I put you back home
In my closet, where lie limp:
our dead, moth eaten uniforms.
And I feel you burn my lips,
I shut away my soul
No. 321494
>>321241Please seek help, nonna. I understand what you're going through, and I feel deeply for it.
You probably already know these things, but I'll state them just in case they can help:
-Many colleges have a center for sexual assault of some kind. It sounds like you've already done what you can in terms of reporting, but these centers can help you navigate the impact the rape has had on you. In my case, they helped me receive academic accomodations and discreet therapy services after the event, allowing me to start processing what happened with a professional and somewhat minimizing the damage it had on my academic career.
-If you're situationally unable to or do not feel comfortable with seeking help through the above, but do feel up to doing some reading, the book The Body Keeps the Score is also very helpful. It covers a large breadth of trauma's lasting impacts in a nonjudgemental manner. For me, it helped me feel less isolated in my experience and the way my mind/body was coping with it. And it helped me understand the frankly distressing trauma responses I was having.
Even neither of the above are options for you for any reason, I sincerely wish you the best. My heart is with you. I'm glad tbat you have a place to at least write out what happened amongst women who will not judge you.
No. 321601
>>321241Nonnie please don’t be hard on yourself, don’t blame yourself for how you’re responding right now. That’s trauma. You can separate the trauma response from the real version of you, how terrible to be hurt so much and not properly heard. And those friends suck. I hope you have family to confide in right now, anything. You’ve done nothing wrong, there’s nothing to feel ashamed about. It’s important that you get 1) justice, legally and 2) healing- therapy to process this, someone to talk to, maybe some time to heal. Again, I’m so sorry you went through that. How other people treat you does not represent who you are. You are a full, feeling, human, you’ve done nothing wrong, you deserve love and care.
No. 322131
>>322126Then she should not walk it around other people at all wtf
Take it to the woods to have a run
Your gf sounds like a jerk tbh
No. 322142
>>322140There's no use in "feeling" this or that way about it when a child can die of an infected bite
She's a jerk because she does her thing consequences for others be damned. And the consequences can be very serious
No. 322149
>>322145Keep it away from people, walk it in the woods or somewhere where there's nobody around.
She's got an asocial animal, she cannot behave socially as if she doesn't. She has to adapt her social life for as long as the dog lives if she intends to keep it.
The stupidest thing would be you dying from a dog bite infection. If you decide to stay, make sure to go to the doctor each time you are bitten and watch for sudden swelling. I've seen bites get infected and it happens fast.
No. 322356
>>322122This sucks, nonna. I hope that you two find a way through it, but this is an understandable reason to break up in my eyes. If you were just complaining about it being hard to schedule time together due to the dog, that'd be one thing. But all the biting? And the dog biting random strangers, even children? That's honestly an eventual lawsuit waiting to happen and you can't be blamed for not wanting to be around it and not wanting it in your home.
For what it's worth, even if you date another woman with a dog, I doubt it'll be this bad. I do hope that she and her dog can find a solution eventually as being anxious/aggressive enough to act like this must also be very stressful for the dog.
No. 322363
>>322188I've considered it but, dressing feminine makes me feel too weird and, honestly, vulnerable. I'm a "soft" butch, but I notice that younger people use more masculine language towards me, calling me "bro, man, dude, etc." in conversation. A zoomer cashier at Aldi called me "sir" the other day, which I was surprised by. Haven't been sir'ed in a while, lol. Older people (40s+)speak to and treat me like a woman regardless of what I'm wearing. Older men will hold doors open for me and let me in/out first from elevators and stuff. Thankfully I haven't been asked about pronouns yet. I think I've avoided that because I'm in my mid 30s and don't hang out in LGBT spaces or with younger people.
Such a strange time to be alive.
No. 322436
>>322363>Older people (40s+)speak to and treat me like a woman regardless of what I'm wearing. Isn't it such a relief? I love being called young lady etc by older women I meet. It's comforting in a way. Meanwhile people my age will they/he me aggressively and act shocked when they figure out I'm just a regular lesbian. Since you mentioned it, I have to assume my age is a factor as well, I'm right in that typical age bracket for gendies.
>>322188I can't, long hair is a sensory nightmare and I just plain don't like how it looks on me, plus I feel fucking goofy when I've tried to wear feminine clothing or makeup in the past. Like I'm making a fool of myself somehow, idk it's just not my thing and it's not natural to me so I can't do it. I've been mistaken for a boy in public before but they usually apologize once they realize and I've never minded that aspect of it, but when people assume I'm trans I get mad. I've had people tell me that this is basically my own fault, but it's not like it's always been this way, I didn't used to get treated like this.
No. 322442
>>322188I dress in neutral colors, have very masculine manners and wear men's clothing only, but keep my hair long (short hair looks like shit on me and seriously makes my manface issue even worse) and sometimes makeup so I guess that's why I've never gotten they/he'd or asked for my pronouns.
>>322363>dressing feminine makes me feel too weird and, honestly, vulnerable. Same, I used to dress more feminine but it always made me feel like I was walking around wearing a wacky uncomfortable skinsuit. Plus I had a visceral reaction to men catcalling and trying to flirt with me. Wearing masculine clothing actually works in repelling them, now they just treat me like shit in other ways that doesn't include being hit on.
>>322436>I've been mistaken for a boy in public before but they usually apologize once they realize and I've never minded that aspect of it, but when people assume I'm trans I get mad.This too. When I wear my hair tied back I get sir'd sometimes and it's just funny to me when they sincerely thought I was a teenage boy but when they actually assume I'm trans I feel like they just insulted me and my entire being. Which they essentially did though, assuming that I can't be a woman because I don't look like their stereotypical interpretation of one.
No. 322565
>>322547Nah, wanting to be with someone who shares all your struggles is normal. While we share some of them with bi women, there is other stuff we can't relate to due to them being attracted to men too (and vice versa, bi women can't fully relate to lesbians either).
Different sexualities, different struggles.
No. 322566
>>322547words mean nothing nowadays and meeting a lesbian might as well be meeting a bisexual because most will accept troons into their sex pool. also gender special people dont call themselves bi anymore (it's an outdated
terf term according to them, because bi = 2 = only 2 gendies) so anyone who still consider themselves bi and not pan might as well be a cryptoterf.
No. 322672
>>322595The US. I've moved states but the lesbians I've met and talked to regardless of state all dated other lesbians almost exclusively.
>>322600 is right too though, most lesbians secretly prefer other lesbians but end up settling for bis since they're more in abundance.
No. 322719
>>322578It used to be a stereotype that butches are good at traditionally "masculine" things like fixing cars, building stuff, etc. Now if you're into such things you're apparently trans or some other gender-speshul nonsense.
I think it's really down to fashion choices.
No. 322807
>>322787Are you that person in the last thread that everybody yelled at and called a scrote? You should really try to lurk and learn the board culture before trying to make friends here. It's really risky to try and make personal contact with anyone from here anyway, lots of anons from the friendfinder thread have spoken about having creepy moids contact them, it's not the best way to find people.
>>322768Try finding smaller lesbian subreddits or terfy/gc lesbians on tumblr maybe? I've had okayish luck there.
No. 322814
File: 1682101446161.png (236.18 KB, 920x1380, png-transparent-nicki-minaj-ar…)
>know this bi girl for like two years
>start to get a crush on her
>ask her out
>she says yes
>leaves me literally a day later for a "mental health break"
>starts talking about sucking this guy in her classes dick right infront of me (she didnt even say we broke up she said she was just taking a break)
>starts sending me straight porn she drew (I told her I was uncomfortable with it because of a groomer who tried to convert me, she never stopped.)
>I finally call her out
>starts bitching about wanting to break up with me and how she only dated me because she felt bad for me
>break up (still friends because she guilt tripped me into not leaving her)
>I start dating another girl
>ex starts isolating her from me
>ex convinces her and all of my friends to leave me
>girl breaks up with me
>she troons out like a few weeks later
>in that moment I realize how shitty my ex is
>jfc
No. 322819
>>322768i think there are some younger
terf lesbians on twitter, but there's also a lot of a bullshit there unfortunately. i don't see as many younger ones on tumblr or maybe i don't keep up with those types of radfem circles
No. 322823
>>322818It's not your last hope, you said yourself you don't go outside so why not take some of the advice we gave you last thread and try to join some kind of irl community? Anonymous imageboards are not a good place to make friends, I think you'd have better luck on normie social media sites or even discord. I know you said you want to make friends with other lesbians specifically but it's going to be a crapshoot no matter where you look and given the responses you've gotten, I think it would be better to focus on your social skills first.
>dating appsI think that's for the best given that you said you don't feel an emotional connection to other women.
>>322814Jesus christ anon I'm so sorry.
No. 322826
>>322581as a closeted teen I initially thought I was a lesbian because I fell in love with girls but never had any romantic feelings for guys (still don’t kek), so I just figured I was gay because I didn’t know bisexual was a thing and most males are fugly so the fact that I was sexually attracted to both barely registered to me.
tl;dr: if you’re not sexually attracted to males you’re a lesbian
t. bisexual woman (saged &sorry for lurking)
No. 322840
>>322825You're a teenage autist with no social skills chasing total strangers around to talk about sexual things
Just stop. Ffs stop.
No. 322853
>>322825I see. My advice above still stands, but obviously I'm not going to force you to go join a knitter's circle or anything lol. If you only want to work on your social life online, maybe try seeing if you can integrate here without sparking replies like
>>322840 it's a good start at least.
No. 322880
>>321065I'll never understand why bihets still date moids?? After everything they've done to women they still obsess over them and make their entire lives about them. Setting our rights back hundreds of years I stg it pisses me off how much they moan about them
Febfems are based
No. 323137
>>322978You should look into getting help with dyspraxia first and foremost, and even if you can't get an autism assessment, it won't hurt to research coping skills/management for the social issues that come with it. I was in autism support forum when I was 17, and it helped me understand myself a lot.
Also, you can meet people at school, although I didn't go to higher education so I don't have any personal experience with it.
No. 323215
>>323164Because our dating market is over-saturated with bi women tbh. Not all of them may classify themselves as such, but in my experience there's a lot of them out there. Gold stars tend to get snapped up quickly, too. My wife and I were engaged in under a year because after years of fucked up relationships with women who simply did not get us we were ready to U-Haul at the speed of light for The Right Woman.
>>323195NTA but meditating twice a day and researching Stoic philosophy helped me with my autism. My brain can overthink itself to hell and back, so taking some time in the morning and evening to focus purely on my breathing and nothing else helped centre me more. I felt more present in life and less trapped in my head. Reading classic Stoic literature (read the books, don't let some YouTube moid explain it) helped me stop catastrophising so much. Simply put: shit happens, but we keep on going. Do I still do retarded things? Of course! But I've got more confident about putting myself out there, actually enjoying many aspects of life because I'm not caged in my silly little brain so much and I handle bad situations better now that I've just accepted the ebb and flow of life.
No. 323230
>>323213I think both "gold star" and "comphet" rhetoric are harmful in different ways, but the latter is tricky since there's technically two definitions of "comphet". The original essay on compulsory heterosexuality was written by a polilez (a broken clock is right twice a day) and argued that women of all sexualities are socialized to prioritize men in their life (romantically and platonically), which is something I agree with. So many straight and bi women in my life would otherwise throw away their values for men, I once knew a former hardcore liberal who dated a Trump supporter. I used to be a "not all guys are bad" when I was a teenager and newly coming out because I wanted to be seen as a "cool lesbian" and not a "gross man hater" - despite having a male-exclusionary sexuality, I still prioritized their feelings. I was also raised Christian and was taught that homosexuality was both a choice and a sin, so I assumed I was straight during my childhood and early teens, since I was surrounded by unhappy straight relationships and figured I would pick the "least bad" guy when I grew up. I knew an ex-gay in real life, too. I've known lesbians who were similar circumstances who dated guys to fit in and they either wound up traumatized or were abused by the guys, and I don't think it's fair to call them bisexual for being in an ordeal like that in the first place, they weren't "bisexual who had bad sex with a man" when even nonsexual interactions were uncomfortable and if they lived somewhere more accepting they wouldn't have tried to "fix themselves".
However, I do think a lot of so-called "lesbians" online who talk about having "comphet crushes" are bisexual women who have trauma with men and cope with it by claiming their self awareness that 99.9999% of men are bad people to be "comphet". (I have a febfem friend who used to be like this.) When I stopped being a Christian and realized I couldn't make myself straight, I would have pretend "comphet" crushes on guys, but they were fake and straight girls could tell I was lying when I talked about it. The so-called "Lesbian Masterdoc" was also written by a bi woman with trauma, and if I remember correctly she redacted the document later on, go figure.
No. 323254
>>323213If 'comphet' is making you seek out men to have fully fledged relationships with and even worse, fucking them, you're not lesbian, and I think too many bi women with male trauma claim to be lesbian because of this idea of comphet. However, similar to what
>>323230 said, comphet exists in the sense that we as women are socialized to prioritize and include men in all facets of our lives. We are taught from as young as toddlers that our "happily ever after" will include a husband, and so many of us growing up try to coerce ourselves into believing we're bisexual and trying to force crushes on male friends/celebrities. Obviously when we realize we don't actually have these crushes and we're disgusted by male bodies, we realize it was just part of our socialization to make us want to be OSA. But no, if you have a history of actually dating men and consensually fucking them, you're not lesbian and that isn't comphet.
No. 323279
>>323261my mom joked many times about me being gay because she miscarried a male before having me. she also assumes I'm gay because I was sexually assaulted.
I remember kissing boys and acting out things in movies I saw with them but I never felt anything for boys at all. I only saw them as friends. I never had crushes on boys and other girls teased me about being a boy because of it. I was 8 when I started thinking about girls, but because I grew up in a conservative and very religious family, I would imagine myself as a boy kissing or having sex with girls because it was, in my mind, the only way it would ever happen.
the last time I kissed a boy was when I was 12 and I thought I'd have sex with him to prove that I was normal. thankfully someone caught us stripping and that was the end of that potential disaster. I made friends with straight women in college and went clubbing with them several times, danced with men, became disgusted every time I felt them grinding their hard-ons on me. I decided to end all my experiments with men after that.
I didn't actually kiss or even date a woman until I was 20 years old and when I did it felt so intoxicating and "right". after all I've been through and how I've tried to be straight, I absolutely believe that homosexuality is a natural born trait like one's eye color.
No. 323298
>>322814Hope it’s ok to comment, bi lurker, I have so many similar experiences.
I was friends with a “pansexual” (gender-koolaid bisexual) girl who I asked out. She said yes and then dumped me the next day because she wanted to “stay friends”. She would go on and on about how attraction to men sucked, she wished she was a lesbian, girls are so pretty, but actually dating a girl was too much for her. I think she said yes too quickly and wised up the next day when she actually had to face the prospect of seeing me.
Another girl I liked turned out to be a massive fujo and came out as a “gay trans man”. Such a shame because she was genuinely very cool and GNC.
Sorry about your shitty ex nonna. I hope at least you know to stay away from gender-favorable “sapphics”
No. 323390
im a bit of a lescel, only had one relationship before. anyway im lonely and hurt from last relationship and have been trying to go on dates but the apps are… not good for many reasons, and i just generally feel so alienated even from other ssa women because im a retarded sperglord. its been a few years now since i broke up with my last gf (although we did last sleep together recently, now ive cut it off for good) but i am having such a difficult time finding anyone who shares my interests even very generally + can tolerate spergery + i am attracted to + is gay or bi. just feels so over.
been working on myself, working out, making money/completing study, making my personality more palatable, but it all feels so empty and lonely, time just goes on and on, i get older and my lack of experience becomes more of a problem. i dont know how to get out of this hole. i could have spent the rest of my life with my ex easily, she and i were so perfectly matched and on the same wavelength, same humour, same desires. feels like ill never get that again, that i had my chance and its gone forever. sorry to vent, just feeling hopeless and would love any input from anyone who can relate/got out of this sort of shit before
No. 323405
>>323365Sure I'll romance-sperg! We met at work, we're in different departments though so our paths rarely cross. I still remember vividly the first time I saw her come into the shared office I was in at the time. It's corny as hell, but it almost felt like everything was in slo-mo. My wife has amazing dress sense and that was what first caught my eye; she had on this grey silk shirt and grey chequered trousers with her hair down and minimal make-up and she just had this… aura? You just know she's a good woman in that way where genuinely nice people have that glow about them. Man, she's a total knockout too, mesmerising beauty. I completely lost track of the fact that I was staring at her and when she noticed I nearly had a heart attack thinking she was gonna call me a weirdo, but instead she just smiled at me and that was it, I was in love. After over a year of isolation and intense self-loathing I was brought back from the brink by the realisation that homosexuality is as natural as breathing to me. How can any God resent me for such a pure feeling of adoration? Anyway, we ended up seeing each other more and more around work (we both made up reasons to go to the other's department and steal glances at each other) and eventually we started talking. We had so much in common we just fell into place with each other like we were long-lost best friends. We had our first kiss at our work's NYE party and we were married the next November.
>>323390I know it feels shit now but trust me when I say that "experience" is overrated. I used to live a degenerate lifestyle and I accumulated plenty of "experience" with all the wrong women. It did me no good, in fact, it actually harmed me. I wish I just waited for the women I've loved, not because of some "purity" bullshit but I genuinely believe that too much casual sex can be detrimental to self-worth and intimacy skills. >>323399 is 100% right: work on yourself, hang around in tolerable LGBT spaces (if you can find any) and be patient. Think about it: when you meet a girl you like, would you judge her harshly for only having one previous relationship? I wouldn't, and I think most other SSA women wouldn't either - and the ones that would are the ones you should avoid at all costs. Stay strong and keep on pushing forward, nona.
No. 323414
>>323405Ntayrt
Your wife sounds so cute!! ♥
Your Sperging about her is adorable as well hahaha you make falling in love with another woman sound like an amazing experience, like something out of a movie. Now I kinda want to do that even though I wasn't comfortable with the concept of being in a relationship with a fellow woman. I want to hear more!
No. 323473
>>323463>>323405>>323399thank you bros. also wifeanon thank you for telling the story of your love at first sight, legit made me feel so much better about everything- someone really can just appear in your life who you click with like that. hope inspiring man.
i guess i was feeling pretty sad because i fucked up a date i was actually really invested in by not modulating my emotions/conversation properly because i was overexcited around this girl, she was really cool and attractive and successful in an area i have a lot of interest in, but she hit me with the "id really like to be friends, is that ok?" at the end. i know its just how this sort of thing goes and she was really polite about it but man it burned me. just immediately felt ugly and awkward. i know this just means i need to go on more dates to build resilience though.
No. 323475
File: 1682377847878.png (6.08 KB, 590x212, hhhh.png)
I always feel so isolated from bihets, theyre rude and all they talk about are their little hubbys and boyfriends. I cant have a conversation with them without them bringing up their ugly boyfriends. Why does being a lesbian have to be so isolating
No. 323519
>>323473>>323399, here"Let's be friends" is generally a polite way to say 'fuck off' because 99% of the time you'll never hear from her again. I hate when women say this and I promised to never say this to women I have no interest in. If there's no attraction, at the end of the date I just tell her I had a nice time, part ways, and delete her number on the way home.
I was sensitive to rejection early on, that's why I said to go on dates without expectations. I've had fun on dates that I sensed weren't going beyond coffee or lunch. A casual vibe takes the pressure off your date as well, so if she doesn't feel attracted to you she won't feel like she needs to make an excuse to not go on a second date. I've encountered a few women who thought VERY highly of themselves and made ridiculous and obviously fake excuses to not call or text me.
In the case you do find someone you like, you can try scheduling a date with another woman in the same week just so you don't get hung up on one woman and torture yourself by waiting around for her to text you.
No. 323523
A question for everyone here: did you feel that your body was judged a lot while dating?
I've been pretty bad with dating because my self confidence is shit. When I did date however I got comments about my body that made me feel both objectified and awkward. Is this a common experience?
>>323405Nona you have such a cute story! Wishing the best for you and your wife!
No. 323544
>>323475I wonder why are there so few lesbians honestly, it feels like each city has a threshold of a single lesbian kek. I wish I could talk with someone with no attraction towards men someday….
I have been only able to find bisexuals around me and its so tiresome because all of them are either dating men or have bias towards them. I haven't seen a single one (offline or not) who prefers women or considers a relationship with one as serious as one with a men, I have almost started to doubt bisexuality is a real thing.
No. 323545
>>323390I was in a situation like you. And there is hope! Contrary to other nonnas, I'd say don't go hard on the dating. It's just draining to try to click with someone you're not compatible with. If you're a specific kind of person, it's unlikely you're going to find gf in a gay bar or by going out with some random women. (I may be biased because I live in a tiny euro-hole, might be diffent elsewhere). That said, if you find someone you feel connection to, just go with it.
Focus on making friends who share your interests and living your best single life. I've actually met my current gf when I made peace with being single. We were friends who wanted to play board games together at first, but we instead spent hours just talking about things. It evolved into relationship some months later.
Also seems like you aren't completely over your ex- that definitely makes falling in love with someone else difficult.
No. 323616
>>323414>>323473>>323523Thank you, nonas. ♥ and to answer your question about objectification: I felt that a
lot, but I'm butch so it's kinda par for the course. It happened mainly with the bi women I dated, my masculine features were always praised in a way that just… irked me. Like it was almost always comparative; saying I'm taller than a lot of men, more muscular than a lot of men, stronger than any of their previous partners (almost always men). Why couldn't they just say they liked my height and build? I hated the weird pissing contests they created. I felt like a pseudomale - a trial run of homosexuality in an acceptably masculine package because they either weren't quite ready to accept that they like icky women yet, or worse, I was
just male-passing enough to get them off. It felt pretty dehumanising at times and that was partly why I decided to only date lesbians. There are lesbians that have been guilty of making those objectifying comments, but no way near as much. I wish I had advice for getting over it, of course self-acceptance is key but I know how hard that battle is. Best of luck, nona.
>>323544It's because I chase all the other lesbians away with a broom so my wife and I can assert dominance over our town.
No. 323634
>>323298the gay trans man fujos are the worst
“i became trans because of yaoi!!” like do you mean you wanted to live the life of your fetish?
No. 323742
>>323651I know how you feel, anon. I've had so many "lesbian" friends suddenly just start dating or sleeping with men and it's so frustrating. I get that it can be hard to work out your sexuality, especially with internalised homophobia and internalised misogyny, but back when I was a teen (I'm 32 now) it was common to just use the label "questioning". It's like a race to label yourself now, and it's so confusing to navigate LGBT spaces knowing that many people are being dishonest; and what's worse is that many of these "lesbians"
know they're lying. But hey, one time they liked a cottagecore aesthetic board on tumblr, that's tantamount to homosexuality, right?
No. 323792
>>323616Shit like this is why I want to date another butch in the future. I'm extremely attracted to femmes and can't get enough of them but I legitimately can't bear being male lite training wheels to another one.
>>323651>>323742I don't even know a single lesbian friend who actually stuck with the label and didn't suddenly have a bi awakening when a moid who's not completely gross asks them out. It fucks with my mind and makes me question if I'm actually a lesbian myself since it's happened to everyone around me. Just recently I found out one who has always been very adamant about lesbian actually dated a man and had sex with him but
still called herself a lesbian. Bleak.
>>323789NTA but I'm sorry anon, I've completely abandoned all thoughts of becoming a parent because I would probably have the same experience as you. I'm infertile myself (and wouldn't want to be pregnant anyway) and watching my partner go through with it would totally re-
trigger my gender dysphoria hard and make me bitter about straight couples and how privileged they are. I hope it turns out well in the end for you and you'll have the baby of your dreams.
No. 323842
>>323822NTA but I don't think that would work for most people. Like
>>323837 I also find it gross and would worry about the relative claiming the baby as his. My wife and I are doing reciprocal IVF as we're both biologically involved that way, it's not perfect by any means, but it's something we're comfortable enough with.
>>323838NTA but it's natrual to want a child that is biologically yours or your partners. There's no shame in not adopting and I hate how it's often framed as some sort of gay duty - that we have to care for the kids that fucking straight people abandoned. Not having a go at you, I just find that to be a very loaded question. Also, it can be very hard for same-sex couples to adopt. We seem to be held to much higher standards than straight people.
No. 323846
>>323768butch here
we aren't a monolith, but I will say that I've seen more butch women with femmes. I haven't seen two butches together IRL Personally, I'm into all kinds of women except the types of butches who emulate male behavior. That's just gross. I do prefer women of average height or taller.
No. 323850
>>323838Besides the long and complicated procedures, I'm not comfortable raising a child with possible weird genes. I mean the families that abandon their children are mostly very dysfunctional. I sound like an assshole I know.
>>323842What is reciprocal IVF exactly ?
No. 323907
>>323768As the other anon said, it depends on the butch. Some go for very feminine only, some don't care as long as you don't try to look/act masculine. I know only about one butch who goes for other butches. Make sure to let the butch know you're attracted to her (but don't overdo do it kek, anons here talked about it recently).
Also, I think your height would most likely be an advantage. They either don't care about it or feel insecure when it comes to taller women.
No. 323931
Speaking about career I found that lesbians earn 9% more than straight women :
https://www.thecut.com/2016/02/lesbians-earn-more-than-straight-women.htmlStrangely, I would have intuitively said the opposite. What's your opinion or personal experience about this?
No. 323940
>>323935I struggled in the same boat before saying 'fuck it' and decided to start my own business.
>Male managers hate a woman with agency and lack of willingness to play dumb or flirt back.This was a big problem for me, especially as a butch. Guys would either treat me as if I were their kid brothers or they would treat me like garbage because I wasn't sexually available to them. Many of my female co-workers would treat me like a serial rapist and avoided interacting or being alone with me in a room.
At the last company I worked for, my bisexual manager openly flirted with me and would find reasons to make me stay later in the office with her. But when she found I was dating someone, her attitude did a 180 and she started nitpicking my work and complaining about my performance to our boss. We had so many "performance review meetings" with the boss where I was basically told to shut up and do what she said (even if it made no fucking sense at all) because she had more experience than me in the business. I eventually got fired and that's when I realized working for others would never be an option for me.
No. 323951
>>323931I personally have a pretty well paying job (STEM) but I think it's mainly just because lesbians have less kids and women in straight relationships are still expected to carry the brunt of all the family affairs at the risk of their career development. Single, childless women generally have more money and higher positions because they can afford to dedicate themselves to their work.
>>323922NTA but in my school boys tormented me the most for being a lesbian, like actual unprompted physical beatings and the girls had that generic "ew pervert gay rapist" reaction which made me closeted as hell after I switched schools and I masked as a straight-passing femme for a long time before I gained enough courage to return to being a butch.
>>323940>This was a big problem for me, especially as a butch. Guys would either treat me as if I were their kid brothers or they would treat me like garbage because I wasn't sexually available to them. Many of my female co-workers would treat me like a serial rapist and avoided interacting or being alone with me in a room. This is my experience as well, especially the part about being treated like a little brother, they had a very similar vibe as my actual older brother had when we were kids and he wanted to bully me. And the part about female coworkers too, at some point I stopped interacting to save us both the awkwardness and probably gained a reputation as some uppity NLOG for it. Now that I work 100% remotely I don't have to think about that anymore. Also fuck your predatory ex-manager (not literally).
No. 323953
>>323931>personal experienceMy two lesbian friends are programmers, a heavily male dominated field that pays well. Most of the rest of us work, well, with each other, men being the minority. I've always felt comfortable in my workplaces.
The programming companies have a quota to fill and they hate it. The environment is so hostile to women from what they told me that I'd never work there. But they endure it for some perplexing reason.
So I'd say part of it is lesbians working in male-dominated fields which are paid more by default.
No. 323957
>>323954Idk, it's possible that about blue-collar work, I don't actually know any blue-collar workers.
My sample size is two, not nearly enough for making any generalisations, I can just guess.
My line of thinking is that tech companies these days have gender quotas to fill. And not a lot of women able or willing to work in such a hostile bro environment. Except some lesbians I know.
No. 323958
>>323951It's awesome that you found a solution. I don't make a ton of money on my own yet, but for me it's better than the mental abuse of putting up with all that I did.
>Also fuck your predatory ex-manager (not literally).LOL, I had lunch with a former co-worker several months after I left and she told me about the manager's weird "coming out" speech at a company party. Apparently, she told everyone in the department that she was bisexual and announced her goals for promoting "inclusiveness" and other bullshit. Fucking malignant narcissist. The fact that someone like her can stay employable is really depressing.
No. 323996
>>323986I hadn't heard of lchat before so I checked it out just now and the fact that this thread
https://thelchat.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=81465&sid=0aac80b3c8dc61907c7845b17c0962ff about bigotry against butches very quickly turned into bigotry against butches put me right off the place. If I wanted a bunch of bitter femmes treating me like the big bad wolf I'd go to drag queen bingo night at my local gay bar.
No. 324000
File: 1682621547109.jpg (19.54 KB, 580x548, agent k.jpg)
>>323998Why even bother making a message board for lesbians when they're parroting troon logic? Jesus Christ.
No. 324014
File: 1682624731250.jpg (46.94 KB, 854x237, ffwer.jpg)
>>324012yeah but i really love to see the different kind of paranoias and complexes collide kek and i have to give it to the high femme normies of lchat, some of you here really are obsessed with males in a way
No. 324050
File: 1682635192877.jpg (364.65 KB, 2698x1368, ga.jpg)
>>323986>>323996From what I've seen lchat is a gossip fandom place that attracts a lot of south american/ESL-asian hyperfemininity worshippers who take breaks from stalking het actresses for signs of wuhluhwuh to enjoy trolling butches. Leftover right-wing/russian bots from the 2020 election (why target this obscure lesbian gossip site is anyone’s guess) and male regulars also contribute their most retarded analysis on these topics. Bihet radfems sometimes stray from troon containment thread to cry and attempt self-defense in bibashing/fakebian/PL threads. Everyone there is very mentally agitated. But there are normal users and good conversations in slower topics.
The other lchat is also funny, with the weirdest gossip you’ll ever hear about female celebrities:
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/l_anon/safe-haven-to-discuss-black-women-in-the-closet-yo-t3949354-s390.html (picrel about gillian anderson the supposed ass eating enthusiast) Way more entertaining than eye-contact-analysis Gaylor Swift-style delusion threads.
No. 324148
>>324054Nonnie you'll be hard pressed to find a period tracking app that
won't tell you your fertile window. I personally use flo since it's been a while and have the pregnancy features toggled off. You can also show disinterest in any threads talking about it too. Just know that the app is filled to the brim with women talking about their nigels so if you want to avoid that just don't touch the anon chat.
LGBT threads aren't safe either lol, filled with bihets talking about men too.
No. 324151
File: 1682664725943.png (2.9 KB, 177x284, 6xnv8DqjWwx1ef1bkAAAAASUVORK5C…)
>>324054log28
it's a super basic period tracker and it's also privacy-safe. There's no mentions of fertility or pregnancy whatsoever. You can track sexual activity but you can turn that off in the settings menu.
No. 324273
>>324246NTA but yeah it was only one page yesterday when I saw that but christ, bitches really do hate them butches. I've always steered clear from Lchat because every time the topic came up and I checked the front page it always had schizo levels of fantasizing about female celebrities (like what
>>324050 posted) and at least one active thread calling butches ugly trannies, nothing has changed I see.
But christ the people going "butches don't get beat up and assaulted for being butch, they get assaulted for being women so stop your whining!" when the topic is
specifically the violence GNC women, straight or not, face due to their masculinity being provocative to men due to its traditionally homosexual implications gets my blood boiling hard. Sorry for blogging but the anon in that thread mentioned the case of getting beat up by men because "if you want to be a man, then fight like one" got me because this actually happened to me when I was a teenager. Random boys would come up to me to challenge me to a fight and start throwing fists just because they wanted to "put me back in my place".
>>324254It reminds me of all those times when sporty style butches are called pedos because they apparently "want to look like teenage boys" like loose shirts and ripped jeans was some genderbent nymphette fashion. It's just thinly veiled homophobia.
No. 324391
>>324281Yes, binding is suspect as it's dangerous and typically indicative of an idolisation of the male body. But men's clothes? I wear men's clothes because I prefer them and they fit me better, simple as. What is it about preference that you don't understand? As for the "undercover tranny" business, unless you're not in the west, I see no reason for a butch to be "undercover FTM". I live in the UK and I can guarantee you that if I transitioned I would live a better life. Troons are the most sacred of protected classes, masc women (yes, even the straight ones) are treated like shit and routinely ignored. When we're attacked we're told that's what we get for "pretending to be men", when we're lonely we get told that butches are predators so of course people don't want to be near us, when we have mental health issues we're offered trooning out as a solution to a society that refuses to accept us, in the workplace we often don't get "front of house" positions because of our looks. I could go on, but you get the picture. So why would someone be an "undercover FTM"? To get a girlfriend? Go read the previous threads and see how our dating lives are - those of us that aren't completely isolated, that is. Again, transitioning would also be beneficial in this respect. Putting "he/they" in a dating bio would do wonders, it shows that I'm pigeonholing myself like a good little member of society and I'd be up to my neck in bihets as a result.
No. 324392
>>324150Because if you tell a het woman you don't want a fertility alert she has a pretty high likelihood of going WHY NOT WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT STOP BEING SENSITIVE etc. It's okay if anon wanted to ask fellow lesbians.
>>324281Being treated like an endangered retarded species that is bound to troon out is one of the reasons butches troon out btw. It's exhausting being questioned on your gender identity constantly even by actual lesbians. You're looking for reasons to have a problem with butches.
No. 324423
>>324399Ah. Starts out with compressive sports bras
bc they're more comfortable than real bras, gets used to it so it's not enough
steps up to binder bc it looks better, doesn't want you to touch her breasts bc
it's not her thing. Thinks she got sway with it and steps up from loose shirts and pants from the woman's section to mens's section clothes and underwear bc they fit better
demonstrating that she is delulu about her female body being male and fit for male measurements. Gets or already uses a unisex nickname. Stops you from touching her bc she wants to be on top
but really just doesn't want you touching her vagina bc it grosses her out and reminds her she's female. Starts talking about kinks and tries to talk you into using a strap on on you. Calls you small minded
for not being turned on by a plastic cock and being put off by her touching it and refusing to let her put it in you. You catch her wearing the strap on in her pants when out an about. Claims it's because she wants to be ready to fuck you at any moment
but not with her own body or allowing you to have sex with her, she wants to use a plastic cock. Tries to lie it's just a harmless butch thing* and accuses you or being small minded for not being into cock roleplay. Troon out.
Good luck, anon. Once burned never again.
No. 324432
>>324404AYRT and honestly, no. Finding community as a masc woman is hard, so I can't imagine how hard it is trying to learn about us without post-modern queer bullshit shoehorned in. The only advice I can give you is to find masc friends online to talk to (easier said than done, I know), but if you have any questions in the meantime, I'll answer what I can for you.
>>324423Yeah and I've hooked up with and dated femmes who were pillow princesses that would only have sex if I took the active role and played the stone butch for them because they would not touch female genitalia. Two of these femmes ended up dating men down the line, with one even marrying her Nigel, and another had a secret tumblr full of pictures of male actors and smutty m/f fanfiction. Better write off all femmes too,
nonny! Can't be too careful! Retard.
No. 324448
>>324423Binding is fucking stupid but so is making all these assumptions out of nothing. Anon didn't even say her gf wears one, just that she would if they weren't dangerous and uncomfortable and associated with fakebois.
>>324446I feel the same way, like maybe I just don't get it because I do understand being stone but it just doesn't compute to me.
No. 324456
>>324437Yep, wish I learned that sooner.
>>324446The ones I've encountered were older, 30s-40s. The one I dated was late 30's when I was 19. My friends tell me it was an
abusive relationship, but I think I was just naive and eager to please due to the alienation of being a weird butch woman with autism and not many friends. Now that I'm older and a tiny bit wiser, I do wonder about pillow princesses "true" sexuality. If it's some sort of reaction to trauma from men or something. I used to think I was stone until I realised it was just a whole lotta internalised misogyny and lesbophobia, so I wouldn't be surprised if pillow princesses also had some mental fuckery going on.
No. 324462
>>324410>NTA but as a butch I sometimes wear a binder because some masc clothes look better on top of itSame
Also, I bind because I have a complicated relationship with my breasts because of CSA. Years ago I did consider trooning out but realized that mutilating my body wouldn't erase what happened to me and it's better to stop punishing myself instead because none of it was my fault. Going on a bit of a tangent here, but I read somewhere that many FtMs are also CSA or other SA
victims.
No. 324529
A lot of lesbian posts I see, mostly on twitter, are focused a lot on the negativity of what being a lesbian is, like discrimination, trannies entering our spaces, constant erasure, etc. it always bums me out to read, cause it makes me feel like being a lesbian is something full of negativity and a burden on my life, something that I can’t control that brings a lot of sadness.
But I wanna talk about the happy parts of being a lesbian sometimes. I love women, and I’m glad that I can see a deeper beauty in them that a lot of people don’t see. I love seeing lesbian couples who grow old together, and start families. I just feel like a lot of negativity exists because being a lesbian is extremely difficult in places like where I live, and there’s so little lesbian joy to be found
No. 324590
File: 1682868847592.jpg (83.73 KB, 640x652, tumblr_08c7201e64a191966918043…)
>>324529I've pivoted to lesbian joy last year, it was a deliberate decision to overcome the barrage of doomer energy both online and offline. It was a great thing to do because although I come from an extremely homophobic shithole, I've never wanted to change my orientation (not that one can). I've always loved that I'm a lesbian and that I'm able to love women the way I do. I love the way our bodies fit together, I love my unique perspective on the world, I love the friendships I make with women like me. I would
never trade it for anything. I also love to see elderly lesbian couples, or any more mature lesbian that's butch like me and thriving. Some of my lesbian friendships were too focused on complaining about trannies and bisexuals and I slowly let those go because I truly don't care about these groups and don't think letting them dominate my thoughts would be healthy for me. Now I have fewer friends but we cultivate lesbian joy and elevate each other.
No. 324604
File: 1682872879944.jpg (185.84 KB, 1080x1570, Screenshot_20230430_173222_Red…)
Came across this on the r/actuallylesbian sub. Any opinions? Picrel
>>324446Personally I feel that pillow princesses aren't really into women. It's so pathetic to want to receive pleasure and not reciprocate. I don't trust any women who call themselves a pillow princess. Sounds like someone lazy and boring.
No. 324683
File: 1682909505903.jpg (354.02 KB, 2560x1440, tac0qc3weawa1.jpg)
Apparently the people behind HER alienated their users on Lesbian Visibility Day by posting scrote-tier shit and is now suspended from Twitter indefinitely.
Picture not mine, it's from here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/cislezlife/comments/12zyhwx/previouslylesbian_dating_app_her_had_a_meltdown/ No. 324688
>>324683Samefag. I stand corrected. They were banned for only 24 hours and it was because they threatened to dox women using whatever could be "hacked" from their LinkedIns. Classy. Legitimate news outlets are saying they were suspended for being "transfriendly" but OP states this was the real reason. No screenshots or other means of proof though, but many Redditors on separate posts discussing the suspension mentioned HER posted this threat, some calling it a joke.
Apparently this same near-Schizo posting behavior, as someone in the Reddit replies called it, was exhibited on their TikTok. Users of HER also got an anti-
TERF rant as a notification.
CEO, Robyn Exton, also posted this:
https://weareher.com/lesbian-visibility-day-2023/>These rad-fems create a ruckus on Twitter, Giggles, AfterEllen, and pretty much any platform that skips a basic background check before hiring them.>Queer activists, radical groups like the Lavender Menace, and the Stonewall Riots of 1969 helped our community reclaim “lesbian” as a powerful and empowering identity. >So now you have people like the lady of transphobia herself, J.K. Rowling, as the face of a hateful, noisy movement.>Millennials and Gen-Z are increasingly skipping over the “lesbian” label because of its rising association with anti-trans views. Instead, opting to identify as “gay” and “queer.” >I genuinely believe that we’re seeing more and more young people come out and exist outside the gender binary because of the efforts so many have made in deepening our acceptance of all people and varying identities. >The future of lesbians is trans. It’s non-binary. It’s inclusive. If this is a threat to you, if an inclusive intersectional future is a threat to you, please, at this point, just take it back to TERF island and lament your fragile egos there. >I created HER because I wanted a dating app made for queer people, by queer people. From day one, our mission has been to establish a secure, inclusive, and intersectional haven where queer women, nonbinary and trans folks can flourish.>FLINTA, you can be whoever you want to be! No. 324694
File: 1682914046068.png (33.01 KB, 564x780, image.png)
>>324688Samefag x2, she also posted picrel and apparently isn't a lesbian she says she's Bisexual.
Further discussions can be read here in this article:
https://lesbianherstory.com/lesbian-visibility-week-2023-female-homosexuality-is-not-bigoted/>The way lesbians are policed and taught to police each other – to make sure we are accommodating and inclusive of the sex we aren’t attracted to – is absolutely a symptom of our disempowerment. Heterosexuals are not being burnt at the stake over their exclusive attraction to the opposite sex. It’s naturalised and normalised, not “exclusionary.”People also complained about how going schizo about the terven menace to the point of joking about pedos to pwn them just turned Lesbian Visibility Day to a day that revolved around
TERF this and
TERF that by endlessly seething about them without warning.
No. 324697
>>324615It will be if people don't stop posting it/other subs here with the name uncensored.
>>324647In the past they used to specify in the sidebar that the sub was for discussing sexuality and not gender and that anything not on topic would be removed. Which was how they could get away with removing trans shit. These days the sidebar says that they'll remove your comment if you say tif/tim/
terf and that "invalidating" or policing someone else's gender is not allowed. I've seethed about this before but there is a whole brigade of moids who lurk lcf and as soon as someone posted the sub here it took a rapid turn for the worse. Most of the original group is still there and people downvote in silence but it's by no means as based as it once was. I've noticed some men trying (and failing) to integrate there as well, they try so hard to post like lesbians but inevitably mention their putrid dicks and then cry when they get downvoted.
No. 324706
>>324688>FLINTA, you can be whoever you want to be! Are there apps for gay men that loudly proclaim FTMs are welcome and have staff/CEOs who go on rants about how vaginas are totally
valid and any man who doesn't like them is TEHM?
No. 324889
>>324881I mentioned deepening voice, that's one of the changes I would like. It's one of the reasons I am apprehensive too, because I don't want to get that "tif voice". I read that is more likely if you take testosterone over 30, but also that it could be alleviated by voice training. I think every change that I have read that testosterone normally causes is one I would be happy with, except balding obviously, but that's the one that should happen last and I would hopefully get any changes I like before that would happen and I could stop taking it then. Clit chafing sounds bad but one of the things I would like is clitoral growth and I suppose there isn't a way to obtain that without chafing, which is temporary from what I have read. You're right that I don't have any interest in passing as a man. I don't care at all if I get mistaken as a man (I already do) but "passing" as a man is not of any interest to me.
>>324883Do you know which effects are permanent and negatively effect health? That's by far the main reason I would reconsider taking testosterone. From what I have read it seems like none of the negative health effects are permanent, but I'm obviously worried about it. I know that negative health effects are downplayed for most medications.
>>324885She talks about
>acne>voice deepening>clitoral enlargement>body/facial hair growth>loss of periodand she says they are permanent except for the acne and loss of period. She took a whole bunch of performance enhancing drugs and not just testosterone. She also is continuing to take the drugs even with the side effects she experiences. She recommends for women not to take testosterone but it isn't clear from the video why specifically she recommends that. She obviously doesn't like the permanent masculinizing effects mentioned above but those are effects I would like.
No. 324995
>>324889NTA but I have some FTM friends who have been on T for some time and they have reported vaginal atrophy and constant UTIs because of it, and if you happen to carry the male pattern baldness gene it will make you lose all of your hair and that process is irreversible. It also alters some of your bone structure for good and you might not like what you'll look like past that. Regarding health issues, testosterone significantly cuts your life span due to increasing the risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer and blood clots. It's just not worth it, nobody knows how your body will react to it. You might be sent to roid rage mode or the effects that you were up for in theory might not be as pleasing to you in practice.
>>324894My girlfriend did the reverse, she went from full
TERF to "live and let live" due to some of her friends identifying as nonbinary and now she openly hates on JKR. I decided it's for the best if I just don't bring the subject up with her because it ends up with us having an argument about it. She knows how I feel about the issue and respects that and that's enough for me.
No. 325001
>>322122I'm sorry nonna, but you've got to leave her. If it comes down to either her or the dog, which is where it looks like this is inevitably headed, she's going to pick the dog 100% of the time.
I know going back into the dating scene can be intimidating but it's better to find someone you're actually compatible with than stick with someone who youre obviously not just because you've sunk a lot of time into the relationship already.
No. 325045
>>324995>My girlfriend did the reverse, she went from full TERF to "live and let live" due to some of her friends identifying as nonbinary and now she openly hates on JKR. I decided it's for the best if I just don't bring the subject up with her because it ends up with us having an argument about it. She knows how I feel about the issue and respects that and that's enough for me.Yikes,
nonny! Doesn't your girlfriend know that if a person associates with TERFs in any way they're a white supremacist? How does she live with herself!?
No. 325098
File: 1683074605903.png (371.26 KB, 741x746, pn.png)
(from pink news)
wtAf…
No. 325149
>>325098My god this gets my blood boiling like you wouldn't believe it. It's textbook polilez shit to call lesbianism as "freedom to be anything women would like to be" and I'm fucking done with it. Yes, it's liberating to not have to base your life around being attractive to men but we still live in a Society and lesbians are subjected to misogyny and male expectations just the same, and we're considered the lowest of low value women because we're not sexually available to men and we're made to pay for it.
https://www.thepinknews.com/2023/04/30/lesbian-meaning/ This entire article is a fucking tragedy. Pink news has always been 100% about trannies and the bihet handmaidens kissing their asses but this "L word is magic!" is just the most insufferable trash that I have seen. I hate political lesbians and they do way more harm than good, and I hate the entirety of politicizing lesbianism. Words can't describe the jealousy I feel for gay men who can be Aiden-exclusionary all they want and people will rather pretend "TEHMs" don't exist than confront them because nobody gives a shit about FTMs (as they're women).
>“It can make straight people recoil a little bit. Like they suddenly start thinking about the kind of sex you have, but the more people worry about it, the more I think it’s important to use the word,” says Lilly Alter.Outright admitting that they're weaponizing lesbianism as a label to shock the status quo like a bunch of teenagers. The histrionic women giving statements like these are the kind who will get mad when you don't like them bringing their Nigel everywhere and accuse you of denying their queer identity for being exclusive of heterosexual lesbians.
No. 325236
File: 1683134714502.jpg (67.02 KB, 540x399, lesbianmomsaregreat.jpg)
Bumping because of raid.
Also want to take this time to say that I love being a lesbian. It can be very hard and isolating at times but finding community is worth it.
No. 325271
Bi lurker here, but:
>>322956>They wanted the same dynamics of a het relationship and some even got mad at my friends when they were "too feminine" (read: expressed feelings).I am not febfem (yet), but I am the opposite of that. Not only have I prefer GNC moids and feminine women (mostly in personality than aestethics 4 both), I also always hated the “male/active vs. female/passive” kind of relationship dynamics.
>>323544 >>323553>I have almost started to doubt bisexuality is a real thingI wish it wasn't, lmao. But it's real and I've known that since I was a kid. The thing is:
1 - While gays and lesbians have to choose between suffering homophobia or loneliness, bisexuals have the possibility to have both a “straight-passing” life and with someone they really love and are attracted to.
2 - OSA people are more common than SSA people, even more if compared to SSA people who are not in the closet.
3 - Women are socialized to center scrotes in their lives, and this is harder to deconstruct when you are OSA.
4 - There are some bi women who have a strong preference and/or are married to women who come to describe themselves as lesbians. In my country, for exemple, there is no concept of "febfem" and polilez discourse is still a thing in radfem circles, so there a lot of fakebians here.
No. 325304
>>325271>>325284Why is it every time I come here to the lesbian thread people are talking about bisexuals, fakebians, and moids? Enough already.
>>325238>>325238I'm happy for you anons, that's wonderful and I wish you all the success with your families! My wife and I are always talking about having kids one day, we're not financially there yet but we'll get there eventually. Hearing about other gay couples who have children gives me so much hope and motivation.
No. 325307
>>325271Literally nobody asked.
>>325238Congrats! I know a lesbian family IRL who are great parents. Wishing you the best.
No. 325361
File: 1683187432939.png (243.28 KB, 353x805, crickets.png)
Why do lesbians on western social media have the worst sense of humor? This type of image was funny one time, but it's like this is the only lesbian meme that exists to them. Is it because they're not allowed to be edgy, lest it offend a scrote?
No. 325364
File: 1683188066131.jpg (33.76 KB, 760x680, Fuvgc0kWIBQdhN3.jpg)
Samefag as
>>325361. I liked this one, posting it here in case another anon likes it too.
Anyone have any good lesbian joke pictures they want to share? I've been on the hunt for them, but haven't found much. So much that is labeled as "lesbian memes" are milktoast to a sickening degree and/or anti-lesbian crap.
No. 325627
>>325364I haven't seen any at all except what you described either. I guess this means we have to do it ourselves, like so much else
>>325384>>325407nta but who cares. I like the labrys flag too but no one outside of lolcor knows wtf it is and if they do it's some political dogwhistle kek.
No. 325642
>>325627Nta but
>I like the labrys flag too but no one outside of lolcor knows wtf it isare you fucking joking lol
No. 325665
>>325627Seconding
>>325642 … It's a well-known flag, the labrys flag and the original all-pink flags were what I knew as the lesbian flags long before the internet made me aware of the sunset flag.
No. 325666
File: 1683259047421.jpg (48.58 KB, 485x570, Tumblr_l_10716968354088.jpg)
>>325627I disagree. The labrys flag is pretty well known all things considered outside of Twitter, at least in the USA. Labrys has been a lesbian symbol since the 70s (again, at least in the USA) so many, many different sorts of people associate the symbol with lesbianism even if they don't remember why. More lesbians worldwide associate themselves with the labrys flag over the sunset one, since they're more in tune with their own inner turmoil (thus, the labrys,) and less concerned about fitting into some "community" "online" full of people they only share a sexuality with (if that.)
The over-adoption of the sunset flag and the shunning of the labrys one over stupid shit just feels like ageism more than anything else tbh.
No. 325710
>>321241Anon who made this comment here. I am in therapy now but I still feel distant from my friends. I don't feel insecure about my sexuality but it's because I tried to replicate the same thing with a different man. It just made me feel like throwing uo and made me angry that a scrote took advantage of me like that when i couldn't consent. Even looking back the way I did it felt like I was doing a chore. No passion, no love just trying to get it done and over with, I couldn't even kiss him. Not the same as when I hooked up with a woman at a club and genuinely enjoyed it.
And if any nonnies ask why as a lesbian i would even do that. I was never interested in hooking up or experimenting with guys before i got raped. It's why I've been single and waiting for a chance to date women in a safe space. But after I got raped I had to make sure. My mind was making me feel hypersexual as a trauma response. Even though hooking up with that guy made me feel so sick, I do not regret it because it assures me that I would've never consented to that and what happened was in fact rape. Yes it was a very unhealthy way to confirm it but I have no regrets. I wouldn't recommend anyone doing it though, the sickness I felt after hooking up with that guy was just the same as how I felt after getting raped.
No. 325712
>>325710Samefagging
tw sexual abuse trauma
No. 325810
>>325787>>325384If I remember correctly, wasn't this sunset flag created because the lesbian who designed the pink flag got doxxed, harassed, and bullied by TRAs because she's a
TERF?
No. 325813
>>325810Not
TERF allegations, but rather racism and biphobia.
No. 325894
File: 1683320389366.jpg (120.55 KB, 1255x1197, the truth is.JPG)
>>325860>>325864 is right. Bi women are a waste of time. I have a bunch of personal stories but research more than proves the point. Date one and guaranteed she'll always leave you for a man because "men are easy."
No. 325947
>>325944>"there's no such thing as friendship between a man and woman"He's not totally wrong about that,
nonnie. I've known plenty of men that got weird after hanging out with them for a while. They know I'm a lesbian but they still did stuff like sending strange texts at odd hours or act differently towards me when other men are around. There was a guy I met in college and went to parties with. We had a lot in common and the same type of humor so we always had fun. Our friend groups merged easily too. A little before graduation, he met a girl and they got serious. Not long after that he stopped hanging out with me, always making excuses for why we couldn't meet up. Not just for parties but to have lunch or go places like we used to. He continued to text me sporadically for about a year after we graduated, asking me about my life and "what I was up to", and then that was it. Last I heard was that he married the woman, I wasn't invited to the wedding. I doubt he would've just cut me off like that if I were a guy friend.
No. 325948
>>325947I actually agree with him and still go out of my way to avoid male friendships all these years later. The point was more that he intended this truth to push me past friendsbip into a romantic relationship with a man but it resulted in me removing men from my life instead.
I'm sorry to hear you've dealt with shitty moids like that, I've experienced similar things a couple of times over the years as well. It truly is best just to not associate with them and fewer reasons to is one of the few total benefits of being a lesbian IMO.
No. 325975
File: 1683371817588.png (53.23 KB, 941x843, 16072824505930.png)
>>325965Nta but kek, are we really going to spend the whole thread arguing about this shit again? Take your L and go to bi thread
No. 326066
>>326000>>325978>>326042typical bi behavior
showing up in homosexual spaces where you're not wanted, compulsively insulting us for not accommodating your bullshit, and revealing your true homophobic natures when you're told to fuck off
No. 326093
>>326089I'm sure you love to call other anons on here cumguzzlers as well.
Weirdo.
No. 326180
>>325947A tale as old as time, honestly. I believe that a friendship between a man and a woman could be possible but it's the male entitlement and chronic codependency that stands in the way. You can tell them you're a lesbian and not interested in men but then the 2 AM drunk texts start coming and they get weird and compliment your looks, and after they cut off contact entirely following a serious relationship you'll realize what they were up to all this time. I have male friends but I always have to keep them at an arm's length and constantly remind them about not being attracted to men and it does get exhausting. It's a shame because as much as I love women and hold my dearest and closest relationships with them I had a pretty masculine upbringing and sometimes I feel like my lack of female socialization makes it hard and frustrating to understand all the complex social codes, so an equal amount of my friends have always been similarly autistic men. In my experience gay men in a long-term relationship or are older than 25 are the lowest-risk males to befriend because at least you can trust them not to suddenly turn straight and confess their feelings to you.
>>325975I love this infograph because with pride month approaching again I'm seeing all the bihets crawl out of the woodwork going "what do we need pride for anyway" and "pride makes us all look bad!!" while dating their 5th consequent tall brown haired Nigel as if they ever had to really think about their sexuality and face the real life consequences of it.
>>326066For real though. I don't know how the hell they can look at the said infograph accompanied to a post saying "this is why we want to avoid bisexuals" and then screech about lescels being mad that they won't fuck them. It's like they want lesbians to supply them with an ego trip by desiring them while being unavailable and out of reach which to be fair is basically my experience with a lot of bisexual women.
No. 326189
>>326180NTA but the thing for me with gay men is whether they're RPDR watching, "yass girl slay!" type guys. I know that sounds mean, but the way they treat women is revolting. I agree that older ones in long-term relationships are the safest bet. I do have one straight guy friend who's genuinely respectful of me and women in general, but he's an outlier who was raised very well by his parents. The exception that proves the rule, I guess.
>>326185I have friends who've gone and said they had a blast. There are Aidens, non-binary types and the odd transbian in attendance, but most are the chill type of troons who don't scream at you about it, apparently. My wife and I are thinking about attending Hot Butch Summer but kinda on the fence about it as we're boring rural lesbians at heart, lol.
No. 326493
>>326430AYRT and this is why I dread meeting city lesbians kek. Of course we need to be politically aware, but I'm so tired of it being woven into our sexuality like it's a political statement and not just something you're born as. I've noticed more poly bullshit lately too. My ex is now poly, which gave me a hearty chuckle considering she thought I was fucking every single woman I said more than two words to.
>>326467I'm assuming they're the type of lesbians that only date women while using queer to signal they're "one of the good ones" unlike us evil fascist dykes condemning transbians to a slow death by lack of pussy. In my experience, a lot of lesbians do that to avoid criticism, particularly the young ones.
No. 326669
>>326639NTA you replied to, but it didn't used to be this hard to be butch and accept compliments like handsome. I know what you mean, nowadays almost anything that acknowledges/praises the masc side of how I present makes me wonder how the other person thinks of me in terms of gender. "Man Lite" is too real.
On a different sort of subject, I feel increasingly doubtful whenever I get my hair cut at a barber. My barber is really cool, but whenever there's a guy in the chair next to me getting his hair cut I feel self-conscious. I like to experiment with my hair and recently got a mohawk. I worry that my barber and other patrons think I'm a TiM. Is this needlessly irrational and stupid, or does anyone else feel this way?
No. 326678
>>326676Oof, I said TiM where I meant TiF, but you definitely got the gist of what I was saying.
I'm glad I'm not the only one! And that's awesome that your wife can cut your hair, it's one of those monthly expenses that sort of creeps up on you after a while, I've found. I tried an LGBT-friendly salon when I moved to the current city I reside in, and I received the most catastrophically un-textured, un-blended cut that I just gave up and said fuck it. Unfortunately I've been to way too many salons that just refuse to cut women's hair short unless it's a bob or the ole Midwestern Soccer Mom look.
No. 326681
>>326676Heyy my wife cuts my hair too anon. High five. I'm also a big wimp and I hate the salon/barber and even if she's not trained it still comes out looking pretty good so I haven't been in quite a few years now.
>>326180>>326189I have one guy friend as well and he's great but I still live in fear that one day he's gonna switch up on me lol
No. 326691
File: 1683578290555.jpg (190.15 KB, 1200x1200, textured-slick-back.jpg)
>>326678The soccer mom haircut you never asked for feels like a butch rite of passage, kek. So many friends I know had the exact same experience. I ended up buzzing all my hair off because of that. I think a buzzcut suits me well, but I have a scar on my head from surgery that I'm very self-conscious about, so now I get a cut similar to picrel. My hair is curlier and a little longer, though. Sorry to post a m*n but it's very hard to find that style with my texture hair. It's a good versatile cut, though. I slick it back for work and any formal event, and leave it kinda unruly when I'm dressed more casual. I know what you mean about the expenses. I wince every time I buy styling products, thank fuck I'm not paying for my haircuts on top of that.
>>326681High five! Maybe I'm being sappy, but it's a weirdly intimate ritual for me. Trusting your lover not to fuck your hair up is a sacred bond.
>>326687AYRT, when I was single, "gorgeous" was my go to compliment. Butch, femme or in-between, everyone likes being called gorgeous. I'm glad the threads have helped you, nona. They've helped me work through some negativity, too.
No. 326750
>>326633My gf has never called me handsome, she always calls me beautiful. I'd be more than a little excited if she called me handsome or something in that range but she's just not into it I guess. I've always had a soft spot for being called "fine", personally.
>>326711lol yeah as a butch I fucking hate seeing it even though I know it's probably good if het women normalize being masculine.
No. 326789
>>326493I'm
>>326430 and yeah, this is what I meant. The women I'm talking about have only ever dated women and were openly lesbian up until the last few years. On the worst apps everyone is poly/"ethically nonmonogamous", "demisexual", vegan, leftist and has terfs and tories DNI in their bio as if the two tend to be even remotely connected.
No. 327003
>>326697AYRT, I feel the same way. I have sensitive, dry skin due to eczema and my wife makes me these amazing creams and soaps from natural products and the first time she presented me with a bar of soap she'd made I ended up crying lol. It seems so silly now, but it was the most thoughtful thing anyone's ever done for me. I love cooking too, as it's so much more than just feeding your partner. You can show them your culture, how your family might cook certain recipes, meals you learned to cook after having them on holiday. It's such a personal thing to share. These little domestic rituals are such pure displays of love.
>>326711I used to be annoyed as I thought they had it easy compared to me, and lesbians in general. But in the past few years I've met a lot of straight and bi masc women, and their lives are just as complex as ours. In different ways, sure. But we all get shit, and we all have a good amount in common. Given how socially isolated masc women often are, I think we're stronger together tbh. I know that sounds schmaltzy, but it's better than us rotting in our houses alone or worse, trooning out due to lack of support.
No. 327088
>>326711>Some of these women are a part of those horrid “dyke tries cock for the first time” porn videos so that makes me feel a little better about feeling put off by them.Horrible thing to learn about
>>327043I've only met nice ones so far and they were work friendships but they were some of the nicest and coolest women I've ever met, I wish we had ended up hanging out outside of work before I left that place. Tough, supportive, kind, I have a hard time making friends but it felt like they went out of their way to talk to me.
No. 328911
>>327003Nonna hearing another lesbian has excema honestly makes me so happy! I've always worried about my skin condition scaring women away because mine is quite severe. I hope I can meet someone who would love me enough to help me with it when I can't manage.
I love hearing all of you talk about your relationships. I feel like I rarely hear about lesbians having great relationships outside of here and some friends.
No. 328955
>>327189move out and go lower contact with your family? maybe even move a few cities away from them?
It's fine to stay in the closet while you're not in the right environment but planning on staying there forever won't do you any good. making plans for the future made it easier for me to keep going.
also, disappointment is not forever. my parents went from crying, making a scene, trying to get me to change my mind, yelling etc etc to accepting my partner in just about a year.
No. 328997
>>328332I've also heard this statistic thrown around a lot and decided to look into it just now, and you're totally right.
According to the CDC, while lesbian and bi women do report higher rates of domestic violence, a lot of it is still done by moids: in a third of lesbian abuse cases and 90% of bisexual women's cases the perpetrators were male.
If you take moids out of the picture entirely and just look at women who are abused by their female partners, a different picture is painted entirely: as it turns out, domestic violence rates against women in heterosexual relationships are significantly higher than in same sex relationships.
In fact, when just looking at female perpetrators, the abuse rate for lesbians drops from 43.8% to 29.5%, and for bi women it drops from 61.1% to 6.4%. Contrast this with an abuse rate of 35% for hetero relationships. Obviously with bi women a lot of their relationships are not going to be same sex which skews the numbers, but that's beyond the point:
The problem here is scrotes being violent pieces of shit, not lesbians.
I know I'm preaching to the choir here but it was interesting to figure out the statistics for myself and realizing just how wrongly represented they often are.
No. 329006
File: 1684334430788.png (Spoiler Image,707.04 KB, 656x801, 2.PNG)
Nonas, what are your thoughts on women with tattoos? How common are lesbians with tattoos in your area?
No. 329032
>>329013The data is from
The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: 2010 Findings on Victimization by Sexual Orientation (Walters, Chen, & Breiding, 2013), the pdf of which is available through
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_sofindings.pdfThe relevant figures can be found in table 3 on page 18 (or 24 if you go by total pages in the doc), and on page 27 (or 33). These detail the prevalence of domestic violence by sexual orientation and the reported sex of the perpetrators, respectively.
It's disgusting by the way how the figures are right there and a simple equation will tell you that it's the male perpetrators who make it seem like domestic violence is more prevalent in lesbian relationships, but somehow nobody cares to connect the dots.
Hopefully this'll be helpful to put some moid in his place next time it comes up!
No. 329203
>>329189This. I'm butch and I've learned the hard way that these things absolutely are red flags for bihets. Like
>>329166 said there's something different about lesbian femininity, but I struggle to put it into words. "Not coomerbait" is the most succinct I get. Femmes feel free to elaborate.
No. 329288
>>329189Literal male-tier comment,
Also from what I've heard, you'd be more likely to get women attracted to you as a femme than a butch so you're definitely incorrect. Most women are attracted to femme women save for a few, I think I'd def go for someone who's on the middle grounds for example but since most femmes don't do the weird aesthetic you wrote about but look like average women, I'd prefer that over a butch.
>>329283>>329282Wait so is she really doing that stuff or is a man pretending to be her to ruin her reputation?
No. 329333
>>329261>>329137I don't like gay women say this shit about femmes. It reeks of GNC-NLOG mentality or entitlement, either way it's intended to discourage your feminine behavior to be taken seriously as a gay woman. She could just say she's not into feminine women instead of implying only men can be attracted to feminine women. It comes across as an attempt at negging you into being au natural like traditional moids do, but with an extra step of politicizing your sexuality with your appearance. a lot of femme women lament being treated with misogyny or like straight women and that's a
valid complaint when your same sex attraction is represented and accepted in media but in reality your same sex attraction is constantly questioned and scrutinized on the basis of you being too feminine. anyway there are butch women out there that respect / prefer femmes, even high femmes, and there are lesbians that don't see other women preforming femininity as an opportunity to look down on them. you just ran into a butch trying to neg like a man. sorry anon.
No. 329417
>>329333ayrt thank you
nonny <3 that's so nice to hear but literally it's just sad out there, and so lonely being shunned a lot now because I don't fit into the current popular mould where I live, like I don't want to change how I look or act but when other lesbians constantly tell me that I'm not really one because of how I look, it just stings a lot like I already have to deal with it with straight people, now from my own community? Sometimes I just want to leave my city even for the chance that it's better somewhere else…sorry for the vent but when anons here where saying the same stuff I hear irl it just set me off
No. 329434
>>329225Hard agree.
I personally run from femmes who have the insta baddie look too. The style kinda screams to me 'straight' in a way I can't explain.
Acrylics are beyond off putting and usually scream 'I only like men' because no sexually active lesbian is keeping those pussy cutters on. That one article about the woman who got an infection from the cuts caused by sharp nails still haunts me.
A question to everyone here:
How do you feel about femmes who wear acrylics?
No. 329498
>>329495>>329434I find it tacky AND revolting.
I keep my nails short because just growing them out even a little bit causes stuff to get under them. Whenever I see long nails, all I can think about is the buildup of dirt, food residue, skin flakes, and all sorts of nasty shit that gets trapped under them all day that would need thorough cleansing multiple times a day. I would never want to be touched anywhere by a woman with those things on her hands.
No. 329603
>>329546Based.
>>329219It looks bad, hope that helps.
No. 329606
>>329219Do you seriously think tomboyish and butch women don't get criticized? Like, I get it, finding community when you're perceived as straight must be hard, and that sucks. But saying "these things read as straight" isn't even a criticism, it's the truth of how a
lot of people - men, women, straight, bi, gay - see women who dress like that. Dress how you want, just know that people
will have opinions on how you appear. It's a universal experience.
No. 329682
>>329606Yup. And none of the things listed even have anything to do with femininity, they're just drag. Any man can put on fake nails lashes and have skanky clothes. But only women are naturally feminine.
Straight people don't understand the difference between the femininity of a femme lesbian and the artificiality that mlw perform and men are attracted to.
No. 329701
>>329700>How is saying a femme looks het/unappealing the same as calling a butch woman a man anyway?NTA but that was
so telling when they equated those two things, kek. I almost thought it was a troon as this "you must only say nice things about my appearance" shit is straight out of the tranny playbook, but honestly some femmes do have this weird attitude about it.
No. 329852
>>329137I always wonder if these posts are trolls. Very masculine women generally adore feminine women, since when is that a problem?
>let me down recently by saying I look only nice to menAnd who tf would say something like this?
No. 329995
>>329948Kek nonna
>>329886Pls get yourself some self respect and stop chasing after someone who isn't interested in you. It's pathetic and just sad to be this desperate. Move on and stop talking.
No. 330058
File: 1684779314616.jpeg (401 KB, 1500x1024, MoJ7SzS.jpeg)
>>330012My wife and I are currently trying for a baby and as we're in the UK our child will have the right to get information about their biological father once they're 18. At first, it worried me a little. The thought of potentially "losing" our child to someone who merely gave us DNA. But as someone who went through their own journey to meet their biological father: I completely understand the natural urge to learn about your roots. So whatever our child chooses to do, my wife and I will stand by them. Will it hurt? A little bit, perhaps. But motherhood can't be all fun and games. With regard to race, my wife and I waited until we found the right sperm donor. Though my wife will be carrying our child, it's my egg. So we waited until a donor came up who is mixed race and from the same part of Africa as my wife. As we're both mixed, we know what it's like to feel like you don't fit in anywhere, so it was important to us that we can tell our child about the cultures they came from. I try to remind myself of my own unconventional parental situation. My biological father and I often have explosive fights and then barely talk to each other for weeks at a time. But his wife is a wonderful, empathetic woman who's been an amazing stepmum to me. I barely talk to my own mother, but her ex-boyfriend from years ago, who was only my "official" stepfather for about four years never lost touch with me after my mother broke up with him. He's been a fantastic role model for me, and I consider him to be my father, blood or no blood. If I can make this clusterfuck work, then I can handle my kid getting to know their biological father.
>>330040To build an army, duh. Picrel.
No. 330068
>>330012>>330058I don't want children, but this has to be said, you both sound like amazing parents. You wouldn't believe it, but I'm in my 30s and I still hope that someone comes around and tells me that I was adopted because my real parents are shit, don't love me, never loved me and this only shows me that blood doesn't mean everything, probably means nothing. The love you will show your children, the knowledge of their heritage, the education about their cultures, that's what is important, not the DNA and sure they will be curious but you will be their parents, the people they trust. You both (and your partners) put so much thought into bringing a new human into this world, it's amazing and I think your future children will love you.
No. 330076
>>330068Nona, this is such a wonderful thing to say! I'm always fretting over what kind of mother I'll be, so this means a lot to me. Thank you so much. I'm sorry about your parents, I'm
>>330058 and I know how stressful it can be. I'm in my 30s too and the mummy and daddy issues still persist. Take care, kind
nonnie. ♥
No. 330203
File: 1684818710366.jpg (32.65 KB, 524x500, 1647468349832.jpg)
Question for nonas who present as androgynous or butch, have you experienced aggression/ downright scary behaviour from moids in public?
I did constantly. Often at the gym, they would stare me down and follow me around. It was particularly bad when I was with my feminine ex-gf in public, just walking around, not even PDA. I got so tired of it I grew my hair out and dress less masculine.
I hate that I've taken the "easy" way out but the abuse from scrotes in public has dropped right off.
Don't get me wrong, I would not change a thing about being a lesbian, despite it being othered at times and feeling like an outsider with a target on your back from random strangers.
No. 330215
>>330203When I first moved to uni I was very androgynous (short hair, baggy clothes, sporty/straight frame, thin, no makeup, etc) and I got mistaken for being a teenage boy or gendie all the time. I live somewhere super liberal so I didn’t really get “harassed” in the normal sense but I would get weird looks from people when I was in stores, or in women’s clothing sections (although I’m sure part of this is also being brown in a White city). Oh and people would “sir” me or use the wrong pronouns.
I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with scary moids
nonnie, especially in male dominated spaces like the gym. I still look somewhat androgynous (muscular, thin, baggy clothes, hair up) when I’m at the gym and I definitely get looks from men, it sucks to have to deal with. I hope you stay safe
No. 330240
File: 1684842478364.jpeg (40.25 KB, 700x700, F87B6EF9-5687-44D6-AA67-305803…)
>>330215Thanks my
nonnie, it means a lot. I hope you stay safe also. I have looked into female only gyms but they’re just not as extensively equipped. I’m 5’11 and so often taller than the scrotes that seem to want to intimidate me so obviously it comes from a place of moid insecurity and neuroses. The worst bit is it stills
triggers feelings of unattractiveness for me despite reasoning with myself that moids are not my target market and I’ve had plenty of women interested in me. I hope one day I can be free of this shit and just lean into being out and butch.
No. 330241
>>330203Ily for using this Blade Runner 2049 meme, but to answer your question: yes. The first time it happened was when I started boxing at like 14 years old. I would get boys approach me and ask me why I'm trying to act like them with how I dress and my hobbies. Some would say I actually was a man, this one moid got real psycho about it and tried following me into the womens changing rooms to find out. I was scared shitless of being sexually assaulted, but thankfully my coach heard what he was saying and pulled him away from me before anything could happen. Things got better at boxing when I started winning trophies, I earned the respect of a lot of the moids who initially reacted negatively to me. I still got verbal insults from some, though. One of my first jobs was as a bouncer, and a lot of drunk moids would try to provoke me specifically into a fight because of my butchness. It was misogyny, but it was different than the standard shit us female bouncers got. A lot of them told me that if I want to look like a man, they'll beat me like a man. Some also thought I was a troon; the curse of being a tall, fridge bodied woman with a vaguely masculine face, I guess. In my day-to-day life I get a lot of stares, some men will give me that look of "you absolutely disgust me" but it's lost its edge by now. I live in a small town, and it's mostly chill though, thank god. The gym I go to now is surprisingly accepting despite being your average dudebro boxing gym. The guy who runs it is an absolute sweetheart and if he hears anyone give me shit for how I look or my sexuality he'll have a go at them. I know most of the guys that frequent the place and have a good time there like 9/10 times. I did used to get into a lot of bar fights when I was drinking. Same shit as before, men thinking I was trying to be one of them, so they wanted to beat me into submission and prove I'm just a small and weak woman. I'm sober now, so I avoid those fights by staying out of dive bars. If my wife and I go out for dinner and dancing, we typically go to bougie places, as they're much safer. We still get looks, but I can tune that shit out. I've never gave in, though. I hid my butchness at school by having long hair and trying to dress a bit more tomboyish rather than butch. After I started dressing for myself, I vowed not to do that again. Maybe it's dumb, but I figure I owe it to myself to at least be who I want to be.
No. 330359
>>330203When I presented feminine for approval, I got recorded by moids while working out and followed. Now I present true to my butch self and I get unsexual (?) but aggro behavior from men. I'm with
>>330241 on this issue, I won't go back to trying to conform ever again, this is me and the world will just have to deal with it.
No. 330651
>>330650From what I've heard from my friends, not really. I find that top, bottom and vers are terms that don't really make much sense for lesbians compared to gay men. For them it's (usually) a matter of who is being penetrated and who isn't.
I can understand why stones and pillow princesses use those terms though. In reality though most of us fit the label of being 'vers' or a switch so it doesn't hold much value. Outside of the women who are pretty strict about their own role or positions, it's not a great descriptor imo
No. 330726
>>330650I only used "top" as a descriptor before I worked through my issues that made me stone. For women I was hooking up with no intentions of dating, it was a lot easier to have that terminology to fall back on. Now that I've worked on my internalised misogyny/homophobia and issues with sex, they're redundant to me. I agree with
>>330651 that most of us are "versatile". Slightly controversial opinion but I think if you want to avoid the dreaded "lesbian bed death" sticking to your role as a top or a bottom just isn't going to help. When I've been with bi women who always wanted me to be dominant and use a strap the sex got boring real quick.
No. 331103
File: 1685170742349.png (192.15 KB, 897x1331, E9z7zQ6UcAETNqb.png)
Anons, did a fictional character make you realize you were a lesbian? Koito from Golden Kamuy made me realize it in a roundabout way.
In a lucid dream, I was in a fancy bed with Koito, and I thought to myself that, logically, he should be sexy. I tried imagining him under the bed covers but the thought was repulsive. Then I came to the realization that I only found certain types of women attractive. Because I don't find drawn women attractive at all, I didn't connect two and two together until adulthood. I assumed it translated across reality for everybody but it doesn't. I was no longer debating being a fakeboi (I was imagining myself being his mate Tsukishima, not myself necessarily) and someone heterosexual in one fell swoop. Thank you Koito.
No. 331130
File: 1685188163879.png (171.46 KB, 870x456, 3.png)
Do you have any race preference?(bait)
No. 331388
>>331168AYRT. My point is, it sucks how the only spaces that know what "lesbian" actually means are political-oriented and skew too young, since back when I was on radblr there were a lot of bloggers in the 16-24 range and so were the servers. I have a lot of criticisms towards online radfem spaces, but I don't see a point in sticking around or even outright joining spaces dedicated to them just to shit talk them.
>>331170When I used Tumblr I would just find "cryptos" by skimming the notes of posts that are TERFy or just common sex (ex. posts that criticize libfems, sex work, hook up culture) and scroll the likes for blogs that look "normal" (don't have or reblog from obvious radfem usernames) or don't post politics 24/7. Bonus points if they also post the same interests, I've made and DMed mutuals this way since we had a common interest to talk about.
No. 331467
>>331460Sage for double posting
So radfems aren't bad per se. It's more that many try to police female sexuality (obviously including female homosexuality) in a way that is reductive. I've met radfems who say that lesbians can't or shouldn't enjoy any romance that isn't lesbian. Some are retarded and believe the world should conform to their views.
Radfems have some great takes here and there especially regarding troons but some need to back off lesbians. It's tiring hearing straight women moaning about how their sexuality is inferior to mine because 'I don't have to date my oppressor' while simultaneously treating me like a potential predator because I'm attracted to exclusively women.
t. active in radfem adjacent places
No. 331471
>>331460nta but I find radfems are just too annoying and discourse-y, especially on Tumblr. I just want to shitpost and reblog fandom stuff and art, I don't want to deal with
menalez energy so anyone who has a radfem heavy blog gets blocked on sight.
No. 331508
>>331480> radfems are downright vitriolic towards butches. They assume that if you're butch or date a butch you're copying heterosexual dynamicsI’ve literally never seen that happen from radfems. That just sounds like Lchat bullshit a la
>>323996It’s interesting that this is your complaint while
>>331440 says the opposite, that radfems love her just because she’s a “based butch” even though she doesn’t like radfems, kek. I feel like a lot of people who hate radfems must be getting their impressions from twitter or something because the complaints are often totally opposite, which makes sense because “radfems” on twitter just say any retarded bullshit they want and claim they’re radical feminists with no consistency at all other than hating troons
No. 331519
>>331460NTA but personally my main problem with radfems isn't the ideology, but what became of the community which in turn affects the integrity of the ideology as a whole. Such as the increasing amount of tradthinking within their rows and the similar cultish behavior they accuse libfems of having. Like if you don't agree or have doubts about a point another more prolific radfem made you're immediately penalized for it and singled out, or if you use the wrong terminology you get flagged and corrected because of the unnecessary obsession with semantics over substance. These are just examples, there are naturally more.
As for the tradthinking, I hate gay male misogyny just as much as anyone else but they really test the waters of passing unveiled homophobia as "based manhate" and advocate for the belief that gay people are pedophile rapists which really sounds like a slippery slope as they often sneak in butchphobia in there too, especially when talking about FTMs. I'm someone who desisted and I have immense sympathy for lesbian FTMs because I know where they're coming from, so the "they're all stupid yaoi addicted straight girls in denial who want to look like teenage boys" narrative is like poison to me. They really can't use the "transing is just a new form of conversion therapy" argument when they actively throw HSTSs and lesbian FTMs traumatized by the homophobic society under the bus at any given chance. Simultaneously they wear sexuality like a costume and you can smell the polilez from a mile away, so many of them try to desperately hide having a husband or fake being a lesbian.
And the racism is a given too. There are tons of receipts of racism in the radfem circles because it comes in with fraternizing with white supremacists who they hang on to because "they're willing to give us a voice". So many extreme radfems are the insecure kind who are just one redditoid boyfriend away from succumbing to a tradwife larp.
>>331508>while >>331440 says the opposite, that radfems love her just because she’s a “based butch” even though she doesn’t like radfems, kek.NTA again but radfems use butches as lap dogs, or more accurately mascots. They think butches owe them obedience for their GC activism and latch onto them for that reason, but god forbid if you disagree with them. Then you're a gender traitor who's probably set for the aiden pipeline anyway and not worth having her rights protected. The bihets of the movement also treat butches like men lite who can substitute for a subservient Nigel until they're ready for the real deal.
No. 331539
>>331471Lmfao it's always amusing to see random mentions of her, she is truly notorious. I've only interacted with her a handful of times but her discord server was a cesspit so I'm not at all surprised that trouble follows her everywhere. She loves it though, that's for sure.
>>331508I'm the based butch anon and I've seen it happen, what now. No community is a monolith, there are absolutely radfems who think butches are
toxic and male-aligned. That's of course not the only kind of radfem that exists, there are others like radfems who think butches need to be politically involved 10/10 role models which is a huge thing to put on a woman who just wants to exist. The reasons radblr sucks are multiple, depends on the subtype of radfem retardation. And the no true scotsman thing isn't gonna work, these people are all radfems because they say they are and they largely do believe in the politics. You don't get to cherrypick the sane sounding ones and say they're the true radfems and the rest are fake ones. One does not need to be free of contradictions in order to belong to an ideological group. If that were the case, nobody would be part of any ideology because we all contradict our politics in some way. Radical ideology in particular is prone to having followers who say crazy shit because it's radical. The people involved will be debating wild ideas and there will be embarrassing, weird, aggravating takes by design. I'm not saying radfems are a uniquely retarded and loathsome group but due to our proximity they are more grating than some other groups because we rub shoulders.
No. 331554
>>331508AYRT, I do this awesome thing called "leaving the house" as radical feminism is not just something that exists online. I used to hang out in a few GC/radfem adjacent groups IRL and this shit happened far too much. Like
>>331539 said though, this does happen online too. Ok, you've not seen it, awesome! Doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
>>331519 hit the nail on the head with:
>radfems use butches as lap dogs, or more accurately mascots. They think butches owe them obedience for their GC activism and latch onto them for that reason, but god forbid if you disagree with themThis has been a theme with my experience both on and offline. My gender non-conformity gets politicised, I'm told how I'm soooo based and cool and then after one single
civil disagreement I get told that, ackshully, I'm only gonna troon out anyway. That I'm clearly copying straight men by dressing in mens clothes and having similar hobbies, and emulating heterosexual dynamics because apparently radfems are fucking clairvoyants who know how my marriage functions and how I have sex. The fact you immediately assumed I got my impressions of radfems off of twitter or lchat speaks volumes, kek. As the old adage goes… touch grass.
No. 331583
To lazy to tag everyone I'm responding to lol but wrt radfems and butches, I think the problem is that (the specific radfems we're complaining about because it's obv not a monolith) approve of GNC/androgynous women and confuse that with approving of butches. Like it's admirable to be a woman with short hair and comfortable clothing, but women who cross over into explicitly masculine presentation or personality or hobbies are heteronormative or trying to be men or dangerously close to being TIFs.
>>331565My issue with her is that she doxxes users she disagrees with and does IP tracing on her blog. Witch hunting is exhausting and I hate everyone who does it, it's still BPD drama cow behavior even if I agree with her politics.
No. 331911
File: 1685407668765.jpg (52.87 KB, 749x750, 165af3b2b7fdf022c5b1386e1aa8e0…)
I feel like a lot of people around me assume that I'm trans and just too cowardly to tell them but I'm just an extremely butch lesbian with a masculine nickname. I've never gone by my legal name in my life, it's long and hard to say so I've always gone by the shortened version or another name altogether. And you know what's weird? The only women I see around here with hairy legs are gendies. All the butches I meet shave. I think it's part of what makes people assume I'm trans kek, I get them'ed so much it's obnoxious.
>>331880You're great anon
No. 331939
>>331911I've noticed this too, the only girls I meet who don't shave are gendies.
Any nonbutches who don't shave here, by the way? Do you still wear shorts or shirts that expose your underarms? I'm not butch and don't shave but I haven't been able to get myself to wear short shorts and sleeveless shirts the way I used to, although I'm alright with some showing.
No. 332021
>>331880Kek I love you
nonnieBut even though the retard with a chromosomal issue is trolling, it's a perfect example for the anon asking why lesbians here don't want to be around radfems. They fake concern over GNC lesbians and gays being pressured to troon out and claim to be appalled by the "modern day conversion therapy" manipulating them, but when push comes to shove they won't hesitate for a moment to insult them and call them misogynist and homophobic slurs and withdraw their support, like hardcore seething over gay men putting on makeup or lesbian women presenting actually masculine. Suddenly those poor misled lesbians turn into misogynist cunts who deserve to be seen as freaks for their "mutilated zipper tit bodies". Many of us still sympathize (i.e. understand why they feel this way) with those who felt their only option was to "fix themselves" by transitioning, even if we disagree with their decision. A lot of modern radfems genuinely don't and their support for women's rights is highly conditional.
No. 332168
>>332138AYRT, yeah the TIF I work with takes things
so personally. It's odd. Lately she's arguing that my bodybuilding is gender-affirming as it makes me look more masculine; because in cuckoo land women are all built like noodles as we have no muscles! I remember starting boxing in like 2003 and all the boys would say I was a man because I was naturally athletic. Twenty years later and it's the same old shit. Fucking bleak.
No. 332256
File: 1685560022322.jpg (35.57 KB, 335x445, 2d01ee2c364b398fdc659065bfceec…)
One of my in-laws are having a baby rn. The other in-laws had a new baby last year. Both are accidents. In fact I'm pretty sure all their kids are accidents. And both sets of parents are complete nightmares. Like, the last people you'd want having children. I'm jealous and angry and I wish I wasn't because it makes me feel pathetic. They can have children by total accident! An entire BABY. By accident. That's so fucking wild to begin with. And then they bitch and moan about it and do a terrible job of raising it and I would give anything to be in their position. Like fine, if you're so opposed to birth control and abortions then I will raise your child and I won't be giving them pepsi and an ipad before they can even walk. I won't be hitting them with a switch. I won't swear at them or laugh when they get hurt. It's not fair. I'm not claiming I'm the best person on earth to raise a baby but why does it get to happen on accident to these fucking idiots who don't even want one? I want to be able to have my own baby with my wife so fucking bad and have the whole family celebrate for us the same way they do for these people that don't even want their kids.
No. 332265
>>332256I know how you feel, nona. My wife and I are trying for a baby and just had our second insemination fail. It's absolutely soul-destroying to see people get pregnant by accident. Honestly, how the FUCK are people not having safe sex in the year of our Lord 2023? Most straight people take the creation of life so lightly… "oops! brought another person into this earth!". The other day I heard a co-worker use the phrase "oops baby" in reference to her youngest child and I actually clenched my fists involuntarily. My jaw and neck were tight as fuck, my temperature felt like it was soaring. It made me want to flip my desk and punch a wall, but also made me feel like I was about to burst out crying. For clarification, I don't hate this woman. It's just the lightness with which the creation of life is discussed that angers me. Regardless of my situation with fertility and wanting a kid, people should be fucking careful. You're bringing a child into this world who will be dependent on you for 18 years
minimum and will also be majorly shaped by your actions. I feel like one of the few sane people in the world who acknowledges what a big fucking deal parenthood is.
No. 332277
>>332265I'm so sorry to hear about the insemination failure, that must be so heartbreaking on top of the expense and stress of doctor's appointments as well. I'm not spiritual or anything but I wish you good luck all the same. I wish it was easier for us. Nobody's owed a child of course but they seem to come so often to people who don't want them or even treat them well.
>"oops! brought another person into this earth!">It's just the lightness with which the creation of life is discussed that angers me>feel like one of the few sane people in the world who acknowledges what a big fucking deal parenthood isYou and me both, holy shit. I feel like people should be required to take classes and shit, like as soon as you get your ultrasound done you have mandatory parenting courses and household evaluations and shit to make sure everything's up to par. In Finland they send a baby box to expecting mothers, stuff they need to get started. I feel like that kind of thing is a good start to what I'm talking about. Babies don't ask to get made and they only get one shot at life. It should be a good one.
>>332168Anon I forgot to reply to you! I also lift and have gotten comments about it from tifs, it's so uncomfortable. I don't know what's worse, having them tell me how I totally have epic transmasc swag and should definitely get on T asap or being treated like shit because I'm a living reminder that we're both just masculine women. And you're right, it all circles back to regular old sexism. They sound like my shitty uncles when they say this stuff. I've even had people tell me to my face that I basically am a trans man and should just accept it. Like excuse me?
No. 332366
>>332256I hope you get to have kids of your own one way or another, and I hope you'll be the light in those in-law kids' lives too.
I don't want to have kids of my own, but I was myself a band-aid trap baby (mom kind of lost interest in me when I failed to fulfill my primary purpose of keeping dad around) and I would give anything to be reborn to parents like you.
No. 332420
>>332277Thank you, nona. I wish it was easier for us, too. I'm lucky to be at a point in my life where the financial cost of IVF isn't a stress, but the emotional toll is indescribable. It completely changed our lives, and we've had babies on the brain 24/7 for months now. We've decided to take a break before trying again. We're gonna have a summer of fun and focus on ourselves again, and then decide when we're ready to have another crack at it. Third time's the charm, let's hope. I agree people should be given classes in parenting, and I also think sex education needs radical changes to it as it's clearly not fit for purpose.
>>332362I know how you feel. For a long time I didn't think I had what it takes to be a mother and I would tell people that it's not for me and all I got back was "you'll get the hang of it!" like Jesus Christ, I just told you I'm struggling with mental illness and trauma from my own shitty childhood and that's your answer?! If I told people I was going to climb Everest without any mountain climbing lessons would I get told I'll "get the hang of it" or would I (rightly) be called crazy? I don't get this double standard when it comes to babies. Granted, emotions do kick in and help you a little. I was a nervous wreck prior to the birth of my little sister, but once she was born things kinda clicked for me. Like ok, I'm gonna do my best to protect you now. I'll take a bullet for you. But ofc that doesn't nullify any mental issues or give you the knowledge needed to raise a child. I think a lot of people have the inclination to romanticise parenthood and say that love is all you need. It's a nice idea but dangerously naive.
No. 332521
>>332420ntayrt but best of luck to you nona. I hopr you two can enjoy your summer and get past this. Hopefully you'll be able to have your baby soon!
>>332362Glad I'm not alone in feeling like that. I feel like a lot of straight people take parenthood for granted and genuinely do not care that they are having an active impact on another human's development. I'm not saying they should be preying or thanking god for their child but they should actively strive to be the best possible parent for a child. To give your child a better upbringing than your own should be an aim for every parent and it irks me that it isn't.
No. 332555
File: 1685670318745.jpeg (52.7 KB, 680x519, FwVD5pHaIAIRpYj.jpeg)
I went on a date tonight (after what felt like a century) and it was so nice and comfy. My date and I shared 2 hugs and it felt like fireworks. On the way home I realized how lonely and repressed I've been. Still and good time…
No. 332712
>>332366Late but I appreciate that so much nona, thank you. I was my mom's "project" baby too, as in something fun that she lost interest in when I was no longer a cute squishy infant, I think it's where a lot of these feelings come from.
>I hope you'll be the light in those in-law kids' lives too.Oh absolutely! I get to see the little stinkers this summer, I'm so excited. Got some gifts picked out and everything.
>>332420Fingers crossed for you! I hope this summer will be a nice reset for you both and you can take the time to relax and have fun. Best of luck in the future ♥
No. 332921
>>332899i've noticed general rampant homophobia in multiple threads lately, like on the hidden board currently ( likely a scrote ) and that one anon on /ot/ who said that being gay is a result of autism (???) and trauma or some shit with multiple anons agreeing with her. wtf is going on? and when you try defending it it's just like
>>332902says they accuse you of "defending gay scrotes" and use examples of said gay men
being molested as kids turning into pedorapists it's like clockwork. i honestly don't believe it's KF scrotes i think there are just genuine female homophobes here.
No. 333237
File: 1685910604328.jpg (159.8 KB, 1080x1220, DluPGDu.jpg)
This tweet got ratioed but we're not far from it becoming accepted. We already have Lesbianism defined as non man loving non man.
>>332924>>332899No matter what changes everyone will always hate homosexuals both liberals and conservatives. Liberals just rebounded it as scapegoating homosexual people especially lesbians as any time we speak out we're either nlogs or terfs. Most lgbt organisations center around gender specials or spicy straights. Conservatives wouldn't waste a chance to give us the death penalty for existing.
No. 333241
>>332892Because any mildly misandrist lesbian gets labeled as a
terf. We have to deal with amabs posting their dicks in our spaces and bihets larping as lesbian saying we're not real lesbians for not liking them
No. 333330
>>332899Sounds about right.
Pride is already a shitshow for us (troons being pushed, us being reminded that we need to try their dick lr whatever) as if homophobia isn't bad enough already. I'm tired already.
No. 333359
File: 1685958241243.png (318.33 KB, 580x732, oh god oh fuck oh no.png)
Terrible news, UK nonas! £5 says there's not a single butch in sight and the "femmes" won't be actual femmes but your average straight passing woman. The most GNC woman there will be Ruby Rose-esque with short hair and a full face of makeup, and they might even stick a troon in there. I'd make a bingo sheet, but I respect myself too much to even hatewatch it.
No. 333380
File: 1685969918780.png (24.51 KB, 318x381, troonbingo.png)
>>333359Here are my predictions nona… I'm about as optimistic as you are I think KEK.
No. 333381
>>333380100%
They're going to channel the ghost of Matt Walsh from the Upside Down and make excuses for the word "girl"
No. 333402
>>333380AYRT and KEK, you have about the same predictions as my wife and I. There's definitely gonna be some micro-identity nonsense and my wife predicted
TERF drama where some loser goes through the Twatter history of all contestants until they find suitable outrage bait. Probably something that mentions pussy and lesbianism in the same sentence, that's usually enough to get the torch and pitchfork gang going.
>>333381I Kissed a Non-Man
No. 333433
File: 1685985735397.jpg (16.71 KB, 640x360, 20230527_041051.jpg)
>>333380Our community is so fucked
No. 333523
>>333273Being straightforward pays off imo, as a fellow autist. If you're clear about liking her and struggling with initiating then the right person for you would find that lovable. Also, it's totally fine to start dating at this point but you could have done it sooner or can do it later too. Her being bi and being politically different are things you can worry about if you wanna worry but life is short and if it feels good just go for it. Even heartbreak is a memory made, be a lesbian today.
>>333382This is so real.
No. 333670
File: 1686063130046.jpeg (30.25 KB, 896x802, FsQm_ERaUAEw44z.jpeg)
My partner is literally the love of my life. We've been moved in together for about a month now and everything's just been so perfect. She's truly the most amazing human being on the planet. She's sweet, caring, thoughtful, handsome, funny, diligent, clever, intelligent, attentive, ambitious. And so, so cute. She's cuddly and touchy, and the way she cups my face and holds me makes me melt. Whenever she looks at me, she smiles and her face lights up, and she's always so excited and enthusiastic to hear about my day or creative endeavors. She's also the best sex partner I've ever had, and our chemistry is amazing. I'm so thankful I'm with her, and that I'm the lucky person who gets to wake up beside her each day. I really understand the phrase "other half" now, because I feel whole when I'm with her, and I feel like I've been evolving into a better version of myself just by being around her… we compliment each other so well, and I feel so relaxed and calm in her presence. It's just funny, because I had no luck with dating apps yet I met her on a roleplaying forum. Can't believe I met the woman I'm going to marry one day through fandom, kek.
No. 333747
File: 1686088285324.jpeg (17.89 KB, 480x483, FgmZ6LaVQAAUGp0.jpeg)
Feeling shame for seeing different women before I settle down and date. How common is this among lesbians? Until recently I wouldn't have even dared to see more than just one woman at a time and only looking to date the next if the current relationship didn't work out. Turns out most people will date around before settling on dating one person. Maybe it's just startling since it's the first time I've been able to have more that one romantic interest at once.
No. 333866
>>333856To be honest a homophobic slur is a homophobic slur and "faggot" irks me just the same as using "dyke" as an insult even though I'm not a gay man. But I'm not black either and I would feel just as bad about someone using the N word too since it's still verbal abuse and using a word that has historically been used to damage an underhanded group. It sends a signal to certain groups that they're welcome to spread bigoted ideologies because it starts with "oh it's just a word kek go back to twitter" and spirals from there. I even agree that bisexual men are notorious for being misogynistic prison gay degenerates (that's literally every bi man I know) but a lot of the gay male hate I've seen around stems from purebred homophobia. As a lesbian I will always side eye someone who says shit like "I hate faggots but lesbians are cool you know" even if you're SSA because you know it
never ends with "just hating faggots". And I would feel the same if a gay man said shit like "dykes are disgusting".
No. 333888
>>333747Were you raised religious, and are you religious now? I ask because I was raised quite strictly and I have a LOT of shame about sleeping and dating around before marriage. I've been with over 30 women and I don't even know the true number because of my heavy drinking and drug use at the time. Casual sex is such a soulless activity (just my opinion, other anons feel free to go nuts) and now I'm with my wife I just wish I saved myself for her. Hindsight is a bitch, but life isn't perfect. It's so easy to get sucked into the nightlife and become a serial dater when you first get onto the gay scene and start feeling confident with your sexuality. I've always had issues with feeling unattractive too, so there was an element of validation when I would hook-up with someone. All in all, I wouldn't sweat it too much. There's nothing inherently wrong with it so long as you're open and upfront with the women you're with. If any woman thinks less of you for dating around, then she's not worth your time.
>>333822Fuck no.
>>333868No, you just have to stop throwing a tantrum when some anons state that they prefer not to date bi women.
No. 333945
File: 1686158623720.jpeg (141.78 KB, 1400x933, 8912E1F4-5777-4309-AE21-1413BA…)
>>331103Yes, for me it was Zarya from Overwatch, although I’ve never played overwatch. I had been working out and looking for some weeb fitspo, but then I realised I was interested in drooling over pics of her muscles more than building my own gains
No. 334003
>>334002What? I'm a regular poster here because I
am a lesbian, and I have never baited anyone. I'm genuinely curious. If you don't want people questioning your weird attraction to video game characters then don't post about it.
No. 334196
>>334045You can put the autism card back in the deck because I'm autistic too. Hell, most posters on this website are. I get not liking people, but my mind genuinely boggles at being into video game characters. I always thought people were joking when they would say stuff like that. Maybe it's because I'm an oldfag who mainly grew up on SNES, Game Boy, PS1 and PS2 where the character models were blocky at best. But even playing modern games, I just… don't see it. So I asked a question.
>>334097I could've worded the question better, it was too light-hearted and can easily be taken the wrong way, I admit that. But I never called them a degenerate, nor did I mean to insult them. Even so, this is an imageboard, far worse is said than someone asking the appeal of pixels and admitting that they find it weird.
No. 334365
>>333670You're living the dream
nonnie! I hope you two are happy ♥
No. 334784
>>334698This has been discussed in these threads ad nauseam. Sometimes these terms are used out of convenience, but mostly lesbians don't use them. With all due respect, I think your inexperience might've forced you into a role out of shyness, perhaps? When I first started having sex I was purely a stone top, not because I wanted to be one though. I didn't know what to do or how to communicate my needs. I also had some issues with internalised misogyny and homophobia. The sex was satisfactory, but not earth-shattering. You and your girlfriend need to have a long conversation about sex, your needs, desires, boundaries, etc. Avoid top/bottom terminology and be absolutely honest with each other so you can work out what you both want. Variety is also important if you want a long term relationship, so maybe open yourself up to experimentation. I don't mean you have to get into any kink shit, just shake things up a lil to avoid boredom. As a married woman I'm very happy I worked on my hang-ups and learned to communicate because it'd suck to be stuck being the dominant stone top for the rest of my life. Some people do stick to those roles because they genuinely like them, don't get me wrong. But a lot of lesbians I know went through a phase similar to me where they just ended up performing a role because of inexperience, stereotyping, shyness and lack of communication.
No. 335261
>>335248Sounds good to me. If you're looking to do something more memorable, I'd recommend doing an activity and grabbing something to eat whilst walking.
For example, taking your date to a gaming bar. You can have some friendly banter and solid fun before heading yo get some street food. That way the two of you can go on a walk or find somewhere nice to sit.
I find that these more memorable dates are more memorable and gives you a chance to see a woman's real sides outside of the first date front.
No. 335271
File: 1686687365033.jpg (149.81 KB, 1200x1200, photo_2023-06-13_15-14-22.jpg)
:I(:I)
No. 335291
>>335271Women = non-men
I guess women can't even really be called women anymore lol
No. 335427
>>335420Thanks for your advice. Because I live in a small place, I'm very hesitant to put anything like that in my bio. I'm a really private person, and I'm guaranteed many people I know will see my profile and even just people seeing my profile at all gives me anxiety. Probably I just need to get over it, or find some site/app that lets you just tick a box saying you're up for casual stuff. I don't even know where I would start with IRL hook-ups. We have one gay bar that's 95% male, and it's seen as weird to go on your own.
>>335423I'm also worried about moids or getting taken advantage of in some way if I use more casual sex focused sites (which seem like 100% moids anyway) because of my inexperience too. From my brief perusal of dating sites it seems like my most realistic option is trying to find a married bisexual woman but that sounds like some type of shit show and not really what I want either. I hope you get to meet a nice FWB too nona.
No. 335971
>>335964im almost 30.
how and with no directions to figure this out, how do i do it properly?
they wont be able to help me
No. 336099
File: 1687025136926.jpeg (22.82 KB, 563x395, njsfekwmokwgmw.jpeg)
sage for incoming blogpost / vent.
i recently broke up with a libfem i'd been dating for a few months and now i'm immediately back on lolcow / in radfem communities to heal and it sounds silly but i'm so grateful to have female spaces like this. the more i surrounded myself with tifs / libfems, the more susceptible i was to giving into "pressure" and letting them call me they/them pronouns and using a chosen name so i could "fit in". i felt really lost for a while after going through a bad breakup two years ago and thought that i should just give up and be trans already. (i was in radfem communities at the time, but really depressed and bored too). every other butch lesbian in my area is a "transmasc dyke" or "fagdyke" etc. i honestly began to feel jealous of how masculine they looked. they could put on muscle mass quickly, had husky voices. but that's about it that appealed to me (i don't want chin pubes or a dry vag).
i've only ever dated femmes, but all of them have had had tif exes. the libfem i recently broke up with would treat me like a man and called my clit a dick at first because she wasnt sure if calling it a clit would 'give me dysphoria'. she was a self appointed pillow princess and only wanted me to fuck her with a strapon. at some point it felt like self harm to be around her and in the lib community especially as a gnc butch lesbian. no one wanted to acknowledge mine or other butch women's womanhoods. i found myself choosing not to have deep conversations with her because we couldn't get past anything without bringing up trans bullshit and i didn't want to break it to her that i'm transphobic. we ended up breaking up because she wanted to be poly and fucked one of her friends behind my back. long story short, please don't date libfems.
but it's been a week since then and i'm feeling a lot better after revisiting my feminist roots, reading dworkin, reflecting on myself, etc. but i'm sad that finding other women like me irl feels impossible. i wish trans ideology never became this mainstream and popular. i wish i had butch friends irl to pass their wisdom onto me and give me some healthy community and support.
if any nonas have advice for healing / finding community i'd be interested in hearing. sorry for the rant, thanks in advance. hope everyone's having a nice day.
No. 336116
>>336099Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Before I met my wife I was in a relationship with a bisexual libfem for about three years; though towards the end it felt like I'd lost a decade to this woman. We were very different on paper: I'm a middle eastern, working class immigrant who's semi-religious and she's a white, middle class reddit atheist. It shouldn't have worked, but we had crazy chemistry at the start. I'm butch and when we were in the friendship stage I explained to her how I'd been treated like a man in the past and how much it fucked me up. She told me how awful that was, how my dress, hobbies and mannerisms didn't take away from my womanhood and it was like, yes! Finally someone gets it! At the start we would even laugh about troons but the thing is, she's at university studying gender studies crap relating to videos games. Yes. You can get a degree in that. She's actually pursuing a PHD for it currently and I have to laugh at how devalued universities are. Anyway, I digress. Naturally this choice of study attracted libfems and troons and slowly but surely her attitude changed. We would talk politics, I would vent about how lesbians in general were treated as the enemy and there was always a "yes, but…". But hey, I figured we could agree to disagree, and for a while we did. Things were going well. My dumb ass kinda fell for her tbh; though I met her when getting out of an
abusive relationship and put her on this pedestal for it. So make of that what you will. Sexually, things were starting to get repetitive though. At first we would frequently make love with no toys and no overtures of top/bottom. Toys were just an occasional thing, but she started asking for the strap-on more and more. Then she wanted me to be more dominant, then rougher, then she wanted me to choke her. She would send me het pornography telling me to fuck her like the man was fucking that woman. For a while I obliged, though I refused to choke her for obvious reasons. She called me "vanilla" for this. We were just fucking at this point, no love involved. She never called my clit a dick, thank fuck. Though that's because she rarely reciprocated. I was semi-stone then, I had some issues to work out so I can't blame her entirely for that but… well, she never cared to talk to me about it. She clearly liked the pillow princess arrangement and often sent me "funny" memes about being a pillow princess. Despite the flaws this woman meant a lot to me, she had met my friends, even met my mother briefly. I only met a handful of her friends, two of them were cringe FTM Les Mis LARPers. Wish I was making this up. I asked if I could take her parents out for dinner to meet them, after all my gf was talking
marriage at this point but there was always a reason why I couldn't. When she made new friends on her course there was always a reason why I couldn't meet them too. I started hanging out with my friends more, fed up of her bullshit by this point. One of my friends ID'd as FTM at that time but decided to detransition. When I told my gf this, she looked at me with anger in her eyes and said "have you been telling him radfem stuff?". This crushed me. FTM or not, this was a dear friend and her accusation hurt me. This snowballed into an argument where I let out all my repressed rage at her. The digs at me being "low class", being stupid for dropping out at 15, for being religious, the way she hid me, it all came out and it led to us finally breaking up. Honestly, it was such a relief to get shot of her. I don't miss her at all, as bad as that sounds. I think I just clung to her for so long because she "saved" me from an
abusive relationship. I also healed in radfem adjacent communities. I don't consider myself a redfem but agree with a lot of what they say and it was nice to talk freely about my opinions without being branded a
TERF. It's been a long, strange odyssey since then but I'm now living my best, vanilla life with my wife. Part of what helped me heal was physical hobbies. Being with a libfem can lead to that mind/body disconnect: "I was born as X, but I identify as Y". When you're doing something physical, working with your body towards a certain goal, you realise this isn't just a meat sack you inhabit; you are this meat sack. I swim, cycle, lift weights, and do combat sports. The latter being great for venting your rage. I naturally found my community through doing these physical hobbies and through volunteer work. A lot of women who volunteer to help other women will be radfem adjacent. They'll keep it quiet of course, plenty of libfems volunteer too, but you'll naturally find each other if you spend enough time together. Another game changer for me was formally deciding to only date lesbians. I know this is a controversial topic in this thread, but if you're butch/GNC I think bisexual women can potentially be very bad for you. Hope you find your community too, nona. There's plenty of women like us out there, we just keep it on the down low in this current political climate. I wish you all the best in your future. Godspeed, nona.
No. 336206
>>336099Nona do you believe that libfems cpuld be thr cause of many lesbians/GNC people transitioning? From what you're saying it sounds like they gaslight people into identifying into pretentious identities.
>>336116Thanks
nonnie for your story, it's very insightful. Your ex sounds like the preachy two-faced middle class type. They look down on anyone else with a less prosperous lifestyle than their own but preach 'be kind' and any other activist mantra.
No. 336278
>>336116Thank you so much for your story and your advice, nona. I've been wanting to take some self defense classes lately and you've really sold me now. Appreciate you <3
>>336206Yes, I believe they can definitely sway their masculine female partners in that direction. But then again, I was already very susceptible to that ideology given my mental state at the time.
>>336230Somewhere that rhymes with Sortland, Oregon. I need to move to Spain or something. I won't lose hope though, thank you
nonnie(.<3) No. 336326
>>336099why would you be ok with her calling your clit a dick if you're a woman?
that doesn't make any sense
thats like a bizarre red flag, because obviously she wanted you to be trans
fucking weirdos in this world man
please save us from these tranny loving cuntbags!!!!
No. 336461
>>336278AYRT, can't recommend taking self-defence classes enough. In this day and age, I strongly believe all women need to learn it. Specifically, how to fight men and use their size and weight against them. Sorry to hear you're from Portland, though. My wife is a burger, she's from Noo Yawk but lived in Portland for about a year and has some war stories to tell about what it's like to be a lesbian there. It can't be easy being butch as well.
>>336326Learn to read. Anon said she called her clit that
at first because she thought calling it otherwise would make her dysphoric because in typical libfem fashion she assumed that as a butch, anon was obviously some flavour of "transmasc". You know what's also a red flag? The phrase "cuntbags".
>>336428Yeah I've heard bi women say that a LOT and it really grinds my gears. "b-b-but men can offer more romantically!" yeah, and I'm the fucking Pope. I've heard some people excuse it by saying it's internalised homophobia, but I don't buy it. If it was they wouldn't fuck lesbians in the first place.
No. 336512
>>336461You're telling me that having gender dysphoria doesn't mean she thought she was trans?
maybe you should learn to read
last red flag, being a dumbfuck(you)
No. 336523
>>336519yes, dont admit that it was in fact her that didnt read, just ignore your own wrong doings
youre completely blameless and can read comprehensively
No. 336697
>>336668I feel the exact same way, nona. Pride posters are being burned in a city near where I live and I'm so sick of fearing pride month. "our month" my ass. Things
were getting better with how society treats homosexuals in recent years, but then trannies ruined everything by bringing too much attention to the "community". Some straight people I know are catching on and separating the TQ+, which really gives me hope. But it's not enough, like you said, more and more straight people have now learned how to be sneakily homophobic and get away with it. For the first time in years I've started carrying a boot knife again. As a butch I feel way too visible and it's making me anxious.
No. 336717
>>336668>I genuinely don't give one shit about "reeee all these alphabet kweer kinkster people making us look bad" gaslighting, it's all straight people weaponizing it against us when 99.99% of pride are completely normal, well-adjusted people who just want to live their lives out in peace.I had to stop hanging around internet radfems because this is how everyone feels about it, they honestly think we should burn pride flags and go back in the closet forever as penance for childhood transition laws. I'm getting sick of shitting on misguided leftists when the alternative is insane right wing religious groups. It's actually a lot easier to find common ground with a confused 19-year old catgender than a hardcore Catholic. I'm just sick of it I don't care anymore about cringe kids at pride when there are tradcath kids making memes about bombing abortion clinics.
Anyway it's depressing. I'm really nervous about the future.
No. 336756
File: 1687284543054.jpg (784.97 KB, 4096x3276, 1687193108823.jpg)
>>336717>>336726I'm convinced a lot of the tranny/gendie/radfem/woke/trad shit is a chaos agent psy op. Divide and conquer.
No. 336758
>>336726>I'm GNC and mainstream feminists seem to be relieved and even inspired when they realize I still identify as a woman, they just go by the "live and let live" idea when it comes to trans people.NTA but this is how things have been for me at work. At first a lot of the older women (40-60 age range) approached me with kiddy gloves as they thought a woman as masculine as me must surely identify as some sort of troon. At first I was like "fucking hell, here we go again" with the questions about my identity but once I made it clear that the only thing that matters to me is my biological sex, they were fine. A couple of the older women had never met a lesbian before, and had a few questions for me, but they were very respectful about it. They mainly wanted to know if I was born this way and why I bodybuild and dress the way I do. That was it. Whippersnappers these days will tell you "nooo, don't let people ask questions about your sexuality!!!" and not realise that that's how you alienate people. Sure, some people (mostly moids) will push boundaries and ask about your sex life, but most people are just curious. It is human nature to be nosy, after all. Particularly older people who previously led a somewhat sheltered life. It's better they ask people questions and try to learn, rather than purposefully staying ignorant. These women are now great work friends, and as I met my wife at work they even came to our wedding. One of them knitted a gay pride flag to put up at work and it's such a cute gesture. I think lesbians are safer with the liberal "live and let live" types rather than the radfem "say one thing I disagree with and I'll call you a dyke" types.
>>336756I'm a tinfoil connoisseur, and one of the biggest global psyops going atm is divide and conquer. What good has this radfem resurgence done us? Fuck all. At the end of the day, it's just more shit to argue about.
No. 336793
>>336783It was years ago on tumblr this happened to me, so account names I've forgot. It was the mean girl clique that rubbed shoulders with "TEHMs" like cisoid though. A lot of them claimed to be bisexual, but once the lesbians start having different opinions… hoo boy. Lesson learned: Don't trust faghags.
>>336784NTA but do you? They don't have a good track record of treating lesbians and GNC women well. And just because it started organically, that doesn't mean it can't be hijacked and used as a vehicle to further the culture wars.
No. 336857
>>336855Oh
nonny, it's so common to be in your situation. Don't worry, don't rush yourself, and don't settle for anything that doesn't give you tingles.
No. 336860
>>33685520 isn't late bloomer, 25+ is.
>i feel woefully inexperiencedunlike what they show you on tv, most people don't lose their virginity at 15. just chill and proceed at your own pace.
No. 336969
>>336776Brilliant point nona. I honestly find most of us are just moderates who just want to be left alone. I hate how my sexuality is used as a shield and a costume by people who will never experience lesbianism. It's so tiring to hear men who don't take me seriously or think that this is a phase pretend to 'defend' me. All of these people are dishonest and tiring.
I want to be able to date women without being told I'm not inclusive enough.
I want to be able to talk about women without being chastised for having a type.
I want to be able to date without having to tip-toe over egg shells so that people don't flip out. My hobbies aren't 'lesbian enough' or apparently liking a male character 'basically makes me straight'. I can't even like things or do things without judgement.
I'm so tired of it all. Why is it that women can't just be without men coming in and telling us how to live? Why can't some women be open to letting go of their need for male validation? What do you get by bullying me into being something I'm not?
Sorry for the long rant nonnies but I'm just so frustrated with the whole radfem/tra shit online. I hate how it filters into real life. Being asked if being a lesbian is bigotted was the last straw. Thinking of just abandoning twitter so I can avoid it.
I just want to love and live in peace. I'm tired of having my interests and preferences policed and fought over by people who just want to win.
No. 337031
>>337005Though it's not as if gay men are completely free of any kind of danger, while we have to deal with rapey trannies gay men get beat up and killed by insecure bihet men who suddenly have a gay panic moment and maul them to death driven by their own internalized homophobia. That's how hatecrime'd HSTSs die. I'm bringing this up because we shouldn't forget that the society is still very homophobic overall and causes minority stress for all of us and not understanding the struggles each of us have is a part of the divide and conquer strategy, in the end the biggest threat all of us (lesbian, bi and straight women and gay men) have are the opposite sex attracted men. One of the reasons why I gave up on radfem circles was because I grew tired of "who has it worse" circlejerking opening doors to right wing tradtards who love to use it against us. While we were busy arguing over troons they passed medieval laws in Florida so that now you literally can't mention homosexuality in a public school or you'll be fired, yet straight radfems are still acting like some autistic tranny overdosing on social media is the biggest threat to lesbians and that's why we need to rub shoulders with homophobic right wingers who
actually want us gone, married to a man and preferably impregnated with no bodily autonomy or birth control.
That said, I don't know that many GC gay men but then again all of my other lesbian friends (including my girlfriend) are anti-GC too and believe in TWAW (even if they wouldn't date them themselves) but remain reasonably sensible about it. The only people who I know to be aggressively antitrans are straight or polilez and the way they fawn over men (either the gay male they faghag for or their own Nigel who's totally not like other Nigels) and are quick to turn against any lesbian makes me really question how much of their concern for our safety is real.
No. 337195
>>337067>It's hard to really jump on the "LG solidarity" train when a lot of gay men support TRA shit since most don't face consequences for saying no to TIFs and the screaming over "cis gay men" being the devil tends to stay on social media.Yes for sure, I do lose my mind when gay men act all holier than thou at lesbians not wanting to suck a dick because they know a trans man would never have the social privilege to force them into sex and they can talk all about not wanting to fuck vaginas with absolutely no consequences. But I also see a lot of them not being straight out TEHMs but just being fed up with gender bullshit and for example quitting Pride festivals in protest. They just get away with it much more easily than lesbian women do due to being men and would rather isolate than get involved in the discourse. And even when they do stand up for us, they get drowned out super fast because people would rather block their ears to demonize evil vagina fetishists and TIFs themselves are considered to somehow (though we all know why) have the same social privilege as cis males anyway.
>That said, it does annoy me when lesbians go hard about hating gay men and whatnot. They're still male and have male privilege, but gay men aren't the ones out trying to rape us.Yeah, like said many times I see straight radfems doing it and that really raises an eyebrow for me as them having a problem with gay men specifically (i.e. not OSA men) is telling enough. I think lesbians letting out their anger at gay men is more than understandable due to the bitterness of always getting the shit end of the stick as arguably the least popular group of LGB and never getting a piece of the solidarity cake because I sure have bouts of anger regarding it, but we should be careful about misdirecting it since in the end we all share a common enemy who's more than happy to witness the infighting.
No. 337609
>>337604Like
>>337606 said it's a case by case basis; but overall I'm a little suspicious of them. I've said it before, but I hate how we seemingly just dropped the "questioning" label and now everyone is rushing to find the right identity rather than taking their time to work things out. When it comes to zoomers I'll be honest, I do not believe them at all. They're too goddamn young to pivot from being only into men to being only into women. Bisexual I could buy, but lesbian? Nah. Even with older women I struggle to understand it, but I cut them more slack as it's easy to be swayed into conforming when growing up in previous generations. Another factor is race and religion. If they're religious and from a place with not-so-great opinions on gay people then I completely get why they'd try being straight.
No. 337663
>>337662Shit. It could be a sign she’s not interested or maybe she’s just asking you for a romantic gesture. You like her I assume so do some private romantic thing that’s a little special. Couples jewelry or personal artwork just for her? I don’t know, I would try that if I were you. Use your words and tie it to a physical thing.
In my imagination you’re going on closeted mall dates and can’t act special towards her, so she can’t see the difference between how you treat her and how you treat anyone else. That could be painful.
No. 337690
File: 1687765784057.jpeg (19.17 KB, 524x393, 2D851F1B-B198-45BF-AF92-E73CD9…)
I know I am a lesbian but I don’t want to be because it will tear at the social fabric I have established in my life due to my involvement in church life. I have to accept my fate though. Please help me.
I just realized I have been completely neurotic about sex (with males) and extremely avoidant of it, as well as being involved in a religious community in real life that’s veering on fundie… I always thought it was great that it was so easy for me to stay celibate and “take up my cross” that way, live for Jesus through not pursuing relationships or intimacy with men etc. but now I realize it’s because I have been attracted to women this entire time, for my entire life, and want to pursue serious relationships with them.
After so much time denying myself of any sexual pleasure at all because of my religious convictions I entertained one thought about women and then everything just clicked and made sense. I realized it was so easy to entertain passionate thoughts about women as well as daydream about romantic moments with other women. I’ve been into women this entire time.
I am freaking out because it will be very difficult to navigate this within my social climate in real life since I’m involved in religious life and because I will have much less experience than other lesbians coming out later in life. Please help me nonnies.
No. 337693
>>337690You know I went through something very similar to you, so I empathize. I awoke really early to lesbian thoughts and it was really hard to be in the closet back then. I relied on celibacy and mysteriously having no male partner because I was such a "good virgin", too.
What helped me is realizing I just don't have to tell my family everything. I know straight people take advantage they can introduce partners to their family members, but honestly, sometimes family members make even straight relationships hellish.
If you've built up a delicate family life, especially around church, I know how hard that can be. You can kind of end up living two lives. If it's easier for you to entertain two lives, then do that. Churchgoers don't need to know every detail even about a straight persons life anymore than they need to know every detail about your life, so think of it that way. It's also easy to get away with a lesbian partner as being a roommate, since people don't tend to expect women to ever be gay for some reason.
No. 337967
>>337690First of all I'm happy you've had an epiphany. It's indeed hard to get started on your new path but it will pay off, I can promise you that. If you get too much friction from your current church, you can always find another that will take you, there are certainly many churches that are more accepting of us. If your interest in church stuff is more about the community and not about the actual faith part, then you can find a different chosen family as well. I find social causes are often a great way to connect to people on a level that is similar to religious communities, it's gotta be something you care about deeply so you can be on the same wavelength on that thing.
Regarding experience, believe it or not there are many late bloomers like you. I was one myself, I was open about my lack of experience and I easily found mature women who were willing to understand my perspective. Take it slow and let things build. You don't need to live your life according to anyone else's timeline.
As far as telling family goes, I highly recommend either partnering with someone who is also semi-closeted (so won't mind being hidden) or just coming out to family before you bring another person into the fold. Putting it off until you have a partner "worth" rocking the boat for is such an undue burden on the woman you'll be doing that to. Lesbians are so used to compromising on everything, maybe she'd let you drag her along as you hide her but if she's out and proud, please don't shove her back in the closet because she will probably endure it to her detriment.
No. 338287
File: 1688096759370.png (32.83 KB, 2076x286, kfwepofjg3jp2.png)
>>338251I was gonna suggest the artist Fletcher but then I remembered this. We really can't have any representation in modern music, can we
No. 338289
>>338287they're so backwards it's retarded.
If gender is really so expressive then why do they have to claim to be a gendie?
like saying females can only be feminine by making trannies act specifically like the thing they are not and like how real women dont act
the fuck is wrong with people
it clearly isn't as easy as "im just a woman now" because they have to go through a whole fuckin process to even get people to pretend that they're no delusional
by definition the thing they are trying to be, must be what they are not and will never be because otherwise they wouldn't need to pretend they are
No. 338342
>>338287God is so depressing. I don't think I could list any other young celebs/idol who actually still identify as a lesbian. Really Ellen just comes to mind.
>>338289I definitely get it. In King Princess' case, she thinks not liking dresses equates to not being a woman. It's so stupid and backwards. And it's so funny that the movement pushes close as being genderless yet spazes out if that they need
insert stereotypical clothing to feel validated.
No. 338344
>>338297I've only used Tinder, Bumble, OKcupid. In my opinion, it's all trash… I have no hope for dating apps. It's rare to find an actual lesbian.
I am looking into a few Facebook groups. My town has a few that are invite only for lesbians. I was accepted into one and it looks great far. They seemed to have done a good to filter for actual women.
No. 338362
>>338297Following this thread too. Honestly my experience with dating apps has been painfully unnotable. I've had 2 gfs off them (one from Hinge another from taimi). Both were pretty chill people and were open about what they wanted.
Also a question to all nonas here:
How do you feel about cosmetic surgery?
I personally want to get some but I fear this might put women off me. I already have piercings (and will have tattoos) but I'm not trying to make my dating pool even smaller than it already is. I might be overreacting or overthinking though.
No. 338366
>>338362Personally, I don't like cosmetic surgery. It's a personal preference in terms of looks, but also something that I strongly feel people shouldn't do; not unless it's for something serious like burns. Not lecturing you, just saying that some women will feel this way. Honestly though, I'm probably in the minority. I think most women won't have an issue with it. Unless it's something like ridiculous Z cup boobs, I'm sure you'll be fine. I'm an unconventional looking woman myself; I'm over 6'0, I'm a bodybuilder, my nose is messed up from being broke multiple times during my boxing days and I also have extensive Irezumi tattoos. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but I've still found plenty of women who were into me and I'm now happily married. I think you're overthinking things, nona. I can't see any of these details giving you that much trouble dating. I know this sounds soppy and overly optimistic, but your personality really is the most important thing.
No. 338374
>>338362definitely overreacting nona,plastic surgery can be art if done in a subtle manner and with a good professional
good luck
No. 338469
File: 1688222834384.jpg (59.67 KB, 690x920, 7e2258ab7da49ac7327f341cbd6e85…)
Nonnas probably asked this question a trillion times, but how can I meet women to date/hookup, without relying on dating apps? Is it possible? Help
No. 338519
>>338366 how was getting irezumi tattoos? I've heard they're pretty painful.
>>338374 subtle is what I'm aiming for! Something that looks natural or at least not too out of place.
>>338391 Fillers are rarely ever done well. I don't know what it is about them but once they migrate people get this pillowy look to their faces. It ages people too.
>>338486 I can see that. A lot of the most popular surgeries are tailored to make women look more exaggerated. Most women I've fallen for have always been considered average to many of my friends. I think ironing out features like a slightly crooked nose or dimples is a bit of a shame. They make people feel more unique.
>>338498 so for you is it more knowing that would bother you? If you didn't know you wouldn't think anything of it? I can understand feeling down about your own features if your gf had those changed.
Thank you all! Honestly I probably am overthinking it since it all comes down to preferences at the end of the day. Hearing all of your responses has given new perspectives I haven't heard as much. It's usually a hard no or a yes from most.
I want to get my breasts done because I think I might have tubular deformity. They make me feel unconfident and a little ugly tbh. I'm not a fan of the obvious plastic look myself but I always worry about ending up like that if I do go under the knife.
No. 338903
>>338519I've only ever had tebori tattoos, so I can't compare to a machine, but honestly it's not that bad. At first it's very painful, kinda like bee stings, but after a while you normally settle into it and the pain dulls a bit. My sleeves were pretty easy, it was when I got my back piece that things got worse. The flanks of my back, my spine, my ass, my thighs, it was all pretty painful. The first day was brutal, but oddly enough by the third day of work I was falling asleep during sessions. Hearing the rhythmic noise of the needles being hammered into you is strangely relaxing, and I found that focusing on that took my mind off the pain.
>>338533I agree. I'm not picky over boobs, but implants make me nervous. I've slept with two women who had them and both times I found myself far too anxious to engage with their breasts during sex. As stupid as it sounds, I was scared of them bursting kek.
No. 338941
>>330058Very late answer but thank you nonna, I pray your wife will soon be pregnant. What I feel terrible about is that my child guilt about not knowing who is their dad will be put on their moms since we made the choice for them, and it's so hard on a kid. Reading what you wrote and thinking about my own childhood, I do feel like carrying a child for me would be giving back to the universe what I was given, even if not ideal.
>>330076Bless you nonna
No. 338947
File: 1688504064549.gif (1.07 MB, 239x200, Meme36.gif)
>>338945Omg congratulation !! I'm so happy for you two. Thank for your wish, I will keep it close to my heart.
No. 338949
>>338945Congrats
nonny! I hope everything goes well with the pregnancy and you have a healthy baby.
I came to the thread to bitch and moan about some annoying treatment I got in the hospital due to my wife being there with me, but I can't seethe now, the baby announcement made me happy kek
No. 338963
>>338945Congrats,
nonnie!
Sometimes I wish I had a pregnant wife so I could figure out ways to make her comfy all the time. Pregnant women are beautiful.
No. 338978
File: 1688520998533.jpg (369.31 KB, 2081x1552, me_and_my_bride.jpg)
Finished my uni year and each day I'm cleaning up my place and thinking about how to decorate it while I started my summer job. Finally will have time to work on my look too, I feel like a lesbian paradise bird trying to make a pretty nest to find a mate
Pic slightly related
No. 339023
>>338997It's not humblebragging imo. It's just that you got lucky in some ways, this is a neutral statement about your current situation. Not saying you did not work hard to get there or that you had an easy start in life however you are currently privileged compared to some of us. The mental illness and general instability rates are higher in same sex attracted women than other demographics, so you're seeing the real world impact of that especially in a rural area where even het people are more likely to struggle in those ways. I am empathetic to your situation as even in cities it's a minefield as the other anon said. Just bear in mind that finding a partner is often a long process and we can't expect things to fall into our laps just because we have our intentions set. Most people have to put in a lot of work to get with someone they're
truly compatible with, including non-lesbians. The good ones are often taken, it's true. There is a sort of waitlist to get with someone appealing and compatible tbh.In the meantime you can make some solid lesbian friends instead, it will widen your reach and be emotionally fulfilling as well, although it is not as fulfilling as a romantic relationship.
I don't want to resurrect the debate from a while ago but in a rural area the numbers are obviously against you way more so than in a city, I'm sure you grasp that as an educated person. While the same types of nutjobs you see in a rural area are also in cities, there are simply way more lesbians too. If you put yourself out there in a city and are truly as well-adjusted as you say then there are plenty of people to date and be happy with. Who you can land does say something about you, you'll see that throughout your life I bet.
No. 339113
>>339090every app that’s started out for lesbians has rebranded into being for ‘everyone’/LGBTQILMNOP, Her and Taimi are examples. This is controversial but i understands them allowing tim trannies from a marketing perspective because our society is insane and would immediately call it a
Terf Genocide App, but I don’t know why even from a libfem perspective they always have to start including gay and bisexual men into it as well, why can’t we have anything to ourselves?
No. 339150
File: 1688663361585.jpg (37.88 KB, 640x973, 1681121325426.jpg)
I can't talk with women on dating apps. They all intimidate me so much and I'm constantly second-guessing my every message. I wonder, am I trying too hard? Do they think I'm ugly? Am I uninteresting? Do they know that I'm trying too hard?? What is with those half-assed responses why did you swipe if you weren't interested-
I just need a hug. I'm so alone. Being a lesbian sucks.
No. 339177
I'm single again and I want to date a woman with the same ethnic background as me, but my ethnic culture is so homophobic and patriarchal that I don't even know where to start looking.
>>339150Just message them. In my experience: half won't respond or commit to a date with you anyways, so there's no point to agonizing over step 1. "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take", etc.
No. 339306
File: 1688774383282.jpg (40.34 KB, 608x900, love.jpg)
I love my wife so much. She literally makes me want to get up and be a better person every day. Try harder, be kinder, more patient. She has such a high opinion of me in the way she talks to me and makes me feel so loved, I want to measure up to that love.
No. 339385
>>339381Don't be so harsh. I don't think that comment was meant in the naive cottagecore "omg I wanna braid her hair!" manner.
Typically women are more understanding about sexual issues and less likely to shame another woman for lacking experience. Yes, sex is important, but I'd be shocked too if another lesbian acted in that manner. I'd expect them to acknowledge how small our dating pools can be and how hard it can be to get out there and get some experience under your belt.
No. 339484
>>339481See
>>339385The idea that sex is a game and people need to bag a minimum amount of partners per year to gain exp and level up their SMV is scrote logic. Every sexual relationship should start with a clean slate, previous partners might build confidence but you can't just recycle all your old moves and assume they'll work. Maybe I'm weird but even if my partner had 100 partners before me I'd want to walk them through what I like the first time.
No. 339486
>>339484>The idea that sex is a game and people need to bag a minimum amount of partners per year to gain exp and level up their SMVi wasn't saying anything of the sort. i simply find it weird you think women would find sex unimportant.
>Every sexual relationship should start with a clean slatesay that to the std panel.
No. 339496
>>339492>maybe she should ask herself some questions.you're still accusing her,
nonny>Maybe the sexual chemistry just wasn't thereas far as we know, that's the only issue here and hopefully she's already dating or will find a woman who is compatible.
No. 339886
>>339601What counts as a high bodycount? Mine is
6, mostly hookups, 4/6 women but I wouldn't call myself experienced at all. It's still a little funny to me to talk to hot bi women and find out my bodycount for women is "a lot" higher than theirs though.
No. 340084
>>339955>But on the other hand, I know a couple of boomer dykes who make me look like a nun by comparison because they were around to enjoy the lesbian bars before they all closed. So yeah, it's all relative.This is such a a depressing thing to think about.
Were the same age
nonny and I'm glad I at least got to experience dating before troon ideology melted everyone's brains and dating apps requested blood samples and birth certificates to approve a profile.
No. 340144
File: 1689299836350.jpeg (18.23 KB, 225x225, IMG_2919.jpeg)
The other week there was a work party and everyone there got so drunk. My friend who is so guarded about anything personal life and I suspect has been part of a fundie Christian cult (and maybe still is) drunkenly confessed to being straight her whole life then falling in love with her female “best mate”. She asked to catch up and hinted at wanting to talk about it. I’m feeling weirdly on edge about it, I’m out and semi proud but I don’t want to be anyone’s authority on lesbianism or even have their secrets (she seemed ashamed when she told me this???). I also worry her crush is me and I’m in a ltr and not interested.
No. 340236
File: 1689358951634.jpeg (31.28 KB, 563x491, couldbeus.jpeg)
i feel like such a hopeless romantic because all i want is to get married and have a wife and be completely devoted to one person who's also completely devoted to me. however, most lesbians/bi women i've dated before have ridiculed me for having this desire and say marriage is patriarchal, heteronormative etc. and while i do agree that yes the root of marriage is patriarchal, that doesn't mean i'm conforming if i simply wanna marry someone i love. it's more like a show of commitment and devotion, which is something so beautiful and sacred imo. why wouldn't anyone want that?
a lot of lesbians seem to only date casually and have multiple partners on the side while being in a "committed" main relationship (polyamory basically). i've been a "main" in relationships like this before, and it makes me sick to my stomach. i don't see the appeal / romance in having to share sexual partners. being cheated on hurts so much, and being poly is a waste of time. what's the point of dating someone if it's going nowhere / not serious?
is monogamy not a thing anymore or something? it's not like i'm old either, i'm only 24. and let me clarify that i'm totally fine with not getting married in my 20s– i just wish for a stable relationship where both parties are dating to marry eventually.
am i crazy for wanting this?
No. 340239
>>340236Sad to hear that, getting married one day is one of my dreams. I don’t even know why everyone (regardless of their sex and sexuality) is so against marriage nowadays, I keep hearing people around me saying it’s just a stupid bureaucracy; not even my cousin who has 2 children and has been dating her boyfriend for a decade wants to marry.
> it's more like a show of commitment and devotion, which is something so beautiful and sacred imo. why wouldn't anyone want that?Exactly, I view it like that as well. The only downside of marriage is the possible divorce, but that isn’t even something that should happen if you have chosen wisely (and I imagine lesbian divorce is less common anyways since the cause of most divorces is due to men)
No. 340248
>>340236You're not crazy, nona. I think there's plenty of hopeless romantics like us out there, but we just keep quiet now because people are so open-minded towards sex and relationships that their brains fell out. Getting married was the greatest thing I ever did, the culmination of all my life's efforts. I took a huge gamble after my first kiss with my wife, I told her if we kept on kissing that I'd fall in love with her and start planning out our white picket fence, marriage and kids future. Most lesbians would call me insane and run a mile from me for that, and fair enough if it's not for them. But you gotta wear your heart on your sleeve. Don't let these queer, "ethical" cheaters get you down. Don't try and play it "cool" either; I tried playing it cool and I wasted years of my life with women who belittled my "heteronormative" dreams. As corny as it sounds, those dreams of marriage and kids kept me going through some dark times. Now my wife and I have a little one (or maybe two) on the way, I know that everything was worth it. As for age, I didn't meet my wife 'til I was 30 so don't worry about that, you've got plenty of time. Just don't let people be dicks to you, nona. I hope one day you get everything you've wished for. Godspeed.
>>340241You can always get a pre-nup, my wife and I have one. I was actually super against it, but long story short, my wife wanted to prove she would never go after my money as I'm a self-made businesswoman. I would never think such a thing of her, but situations reversed? I'd also want to prove the same to her, so I get it. You can be a romantic and also be logical.
No. 340264
>>340261Avoid all bisexuals. Period.
No matter what they say, ALL of them have a preference for men and will happily remind you that "men are easier" whenever you get into an argument, if you're lucky. If you're not lucky, she'll just fuck some male co-worker and say the emotional stress you put on her is what made her do it.
Source: I have dated more bisexuals than any lesbian ever should.
No. 340787
>>340661>but to be perfectly honest I've always longed more for a casual FWB thing to see where it goes than a serious relationship due to being kind of a free spirit looking to experience all that I can.AYRT, how old are you? I think another issue is it's never lesbians my age that want something similar to me. I'm not even comfortable being friends with women super younger or older than me, so getting liked by them on apps when I tried to look for this made me uncomfortable. When I was told that "apps are full of people who like that" I guess they only mean the straight dating side.
>A lot of lesbians that I know have been dating since they were like 16-20 while marrying a highschool sweetheart is my ultimate nightmare.I have traumatic experience of being used by a bi girl around that age, so it frustrates me how only bisexuals with boyfriends or with weak same-sex attraction only want to have casual dating or FWBs with me or other women in general. I don't have anything against them as long as they disclose their intentions, but what I really want is another lesbian. I understand it's a numbers game ("alternative" straight and bisexual people of either sex and even gay men can afford to have different dynamics than settling down) but it makes me feel like something's wrong with me when most lesbians my age that I meet are taken and have/want a wife and I can't even find a girlfriend or platonic friend with similar feelings on relationships as I do.
No. 340915
File: 1689800696132.jpg (141 KB, 828x762, tumblr_06873044f64fa1cb52d7e0b…)
Thoughts?
No. 340921
>>340920>what is the worst stuff, or thing you dislike most done to you in bed?her staring at me from above, focused and dead serious, while working on my orgasm like it's a video game achievement.
probably tmi but
i like it sensual, passionate, necking and rolling around on the bed and dry humping and making out before we get to the main course. most girls do. No. 340949
>>340920Girl I dated did not know how to clean down there properly but she was really handsome and was my firsy girlfriend, so I went down on her anyways even if it smelled bad.
Had to finally outright tell her to clean better because eventually I got a whole ball (like grain of rice sized) of like… smegma that was grayish in color in my mouth while eating her out. Disgusting.
No. 340955
>>340915>I will have to come out to my familyYou literally don't. Being outed is an understandable fear but it doesn't seem to be this woman's issue. People may be assholes to bisexuals (ie it's not legit, gay/straight in denial and so on) but they are more accepting of bisexual women than lesbians (namely because they are seen as more 'slutty and desireable by men). Lesbians are very much expected and bullied into denying their sexuality. Some are even correctively raped, beaten and abused to change them.
This user should just date men until she's not reliant on her family if she has to date. If dating other women can put her in danger, she can just choose the 'acceptable' option. I don't want to sound unempathetic but she's still able to date and be happy.
No. 340992
>>340915You're not gonna get me banned for a-logging
that easy. Nice try, nona.
No. 340994
>>340949F for you nonna, will never need ozempic after reading that
>>340921Would totally see how it would be a turn off, not romantic at all… I'm the type who ask if everything is alright every time I want to do another move, but the girl I have a date with is more of the silent type. Kind of make me anxious
No. 341022
>>340955>If dating other women can put her in danger, she can just choose the 'acceptable' option. I don't want to sound unempathetic but she's still able to date and be happy.This is what gets me about most bi women. I get it sucks to deny your sexuality and stay closeted about a part of yourself, but as a result most (I know not all of them, but I've never net a Febfem in real life) bi women I know end up living lives identical to straight women, therefore accessing and experiencing a form of straight privilege even if it "erases" them. Meanwhile I've spent my teens and 20s single, which has been used as a point of suspicion against me. Even when I "erased" myself and pretended to like celebrity guys or just say I'm asexual, homophobes called bullshit. I once saw someone claim that saying bisexuals pass as straight in het relationships isn't true because lesbians pass as straight when they're single, but I've never been in a relationship and get clocked. But I knew GNC straight/bi girls in real life who dodged abuse for "looking gay" when they got a boyfriend.
I get moids suck and nearly all heterosexual relationships are miserable, but it's frustrating how even other non-libfem OSA women get so caught up in that they forget being OSA and accessing relationships with men is a privilege. It's so hard for me to have any sympathy anymore.
No. 341039
File: 1689864201452.jpg (64.2 KB, 642x629, dasyou.JPG)
>>341021You're probably right about that since most of you end up choosing men despite claiming to be attracted to both sexes. I feel zero sympathy for bisexuals and their made up "struggle"
No. 341042
I am so tired of bisexuals and discussion of bisexuals and complaints about bisexuals shitting up the lesbian thread
>>341039LOL
No. 341078
>>341077I also wonder what
>>341039 would have to say about these stats:
https://archive.org/details/namingviolencesp00lobehttps://web.archive.org/web/20220507042234/https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4607288/https://web.archive.org/web/20221002030448/https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4490938/Let me guess - it's all fake news, actually, and stats are only real when they're about how bisexual women are faking it and not when dykes are beating their girlfriends up at a rate compatible to heterosexual moids? Kek.
(Baiting) No. 341093
File: 1689885049354.png (70.32 KB, 560x328, addendum.png)
>>341081>>341086This literally what the stats that lesbophobes and MRAs love bringing up are saying. This was even explained earlier in this thread,
>>328997It's interesting how moids perpetuate 97% of rapes, murders, and domestic violence (which is why bi women's rates are high - moids see female SSA as a porn category and threesome fodder), but lesbians are roughly 1-2% of the population and somehow equally
abusive as these moids. Make it make sense. I've talked to 5x more lesbians who have never been in a relationship or were abused by moids via gaybashing than abused by another lesbian. My female assaulter was a bihet who went back to her boyfriend after. That's not to say DV among lesbians never happens, a close friend of mine went through it. But it makes me sick how it's constantly exaggerated and weaponized against us by OSA women, men, and right wingers.
No. 341094
>>341081Also those studies prove nothing but that lesbians are more likely to suffer emotional distress and have drinking problems which is a trend across all LGBT demographics due to being ostracized and the minority stress they are trying to cope with since both partners tend to be both perpetrators and
victims, and compared to straight relationships women are also more at ease at using physical force against each other than they would against a man who could easily overpower them. In lesbian relationships physical assault is often limited to pushing and slapping while men are more likely to outright rape and brutally beat up their girlfriends, or even kill them. I don't have the exact stat based on the questionnaire that defined the forms of assault at hand right now but for example this one specifically mentions that bisexual and heterosexual women were most likely to be injured by an intimate partner.
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/cdc_nisvs_victimization_final-a.pdf No. 341101
>>341093>>341094It's amazing how little it takes for them come into our thread to call us men and spew other homophobic bullshit at us.
>>341039 stats aside, it's painfully obvious how much they hate us.
No. 341109
File: 1689893814106.jpg (63.8 KB, 768x1024, 1677276336380705.jpg)
Tired of dating apps and the culture of disposability they nourish. Tired of bars and the hypersexual culture. Tired of being played and only seen as a sexual object or rebound from broken women still obsessed with their exes or just looking for attention.
Dating sucks, I think I'll stick to romance novels. Sorry to be a downer
No. 341150
>>341109Same
nonnie, everywhere I look it’s just sex sex sex, casual relationships, polycules, sex. I think trying to date is making me go insane (and slightly sex repulsed).
No. 341676
>>341675NTA but man, it pisses me off that there's 101 husbando threads on /g/ alone (including that devotion one promoting a very unhealthy mental attitude imo), not including the 3DPD in /m/, but a
second lesbian thread would attract trolls. Sometimes I really do wonder why I keep coming back here.
No. 341682
>>341675>>341677>have a regular space where you talk about random things/interests but only with other lesbiansOriginal anon who proposed it, this is what I was going for. But you're right that such an endeavor is by nature doomed from the start, the thread would get immediately trolled/trashed and would never survive. And I would be annoyed with just insular focus on gs too, I just wanted the reassurance of that being our unifying characteristic where we could talk about anything and focus on lots of other different things.
It's just so upsetting to think about the entire thing in general.
No. 341691
>>341682i think it's possible with someone autistic enough not only to dedicate themselves to building a protected space online like this but to moderate it. would you care if it's an anonymous board like lc or invite only private forum? i think most of us naturally gravitate towards anonymous imageboards because there is less social commitment
i'm interested in creating a torrent tracker for lesbian content, almost like a community archive of anything lesbian (could be a music video, movie, game but often the problem with talking about lesbian content on public forums is not being able to actually access it) with a side forum for discussion.. and you can join either the tracker or forum or both if invited by a member. there are literally so many ways to do this with the right people.. i'll probably do it eventually as a project for myself anyway
No. 341701
>>341691I've toyed with the idea of making a psuedo-anon board. Login info is hidden from posters but viewable on the backend to make moderation easier. Could have invite codes like Ovarit to make it harder to sockpuppet. I'd also probably restrict image posting somehow to cut back on gross image spam, maybe a large catalog of approved reaction images etc users can pick from with the ability to submit new photos to the catalog pending mod approval.
I've put an embarrassing amount of thought into it actually, lol. I used to plan it out in my head at work to pass the time. I don't think I'd ever actually do it though because I'm nervous about liability. All my security ideas would simply reduce moid invasions, not eliminate them entirely, and I don't want to be legally responsible for a forum full of bomb threats and CP.
No. 341710
>>341677How about make a thread here on a hidden board?
Or is it still get drowned by trolls?
No. 341713
>>341701I'm thinking about an anonymous forum. Which is much, much easier to moderate.
>responsibleOnly allow links to media, no direct upload. Users make new threads in a dedicated section of the forum, each thread must reach a certain number of posts (say, 20), then the mods place them into the forum proper with other threads.
No. 341834
>>341829Even if you're a lesbian, feminism has to include ways to deal with men whether that be men harassing you in the workplace(nonsexually too),male bosses choosing to hire a less well equipped candidate just because he's a male, women getting paid less, etc.
You're probably a polilezzy if you're stupid enough to assume that not dating a man means men can't oppress you anymore.
No. 341835
>>341834What the fuck are you talking about? "Including men in feminist discussion" means taking their feelings and emotions into consideration with every topic even at the expense of female rights,
not talking about the oppression men bestow upon women which is one of the core aspects of feminist discourse. Are you daft?
No. 341839
>>341829Man, I know how this feels. Especially the part about still being seen as a predator. I wish I had an answer on how to deal with this without going blackpill, but I don't. I've actually limited the amount of time and energy I give to political issues recently, because after years of volunteering and advocacy, I've finally realised how fruitless it was. Maybe that's the only solution, that ignorance really is bliss. I hope not, but it's hard not to think that most days.
>>341834The reading comprehension on this site is going down the toilet.
No. 341869
>>341829Personally I am more tired by the fake misandrists who act hard online, reeeing about how bad men are and yet have a whole ass nigel sleeping in their beds, washing his shit-stained underwear and serving him dinner right after they finish yet another muh men bad rant.
>It's heartbreaking to realize that despite always looking out for these women myself they will never return the favor and will consider me a crazy predatory feminazi sex offender if the chance ever occurs.They don't owe you anything and you don't owe them anything either. I see this with lesbians all the time, us overextending ourselves and looking out for osa women, but it is time to understand that our goals and values are completely different. You want liberation, they want their oppressors to act nice(r) to them. Sisterhood is not real. So the answer is to just learn to take it easy and prioritize yourself.
No. 341872
>>341869>You want liberation, they want their oppressors to act nice(r) to themNTA but I came here to post exactly this. Lesbians and OSAs are always going to be at odds because OSAs approach the world with a male reformist mindset, meanwhile lesbians genuinely care for other women and seek specifically to create spaces in which we are safe and happy. If any lesbian craves sisterhood or desires to empower other women, she should seek to only surround herself with other lesbians. Being a lesbian separatist is powerful, and I see no reason why any of us waste our time, effort, or resources on women who care not about their own liberation and health, but about their right to complain about their own choice to sleep with their oppressors.
>I am more tired by the fake misandrists who act hard online, reeeing about how bad men are and yet have a whole ass nigel sleeping in their bedsIt's really aggravating, but I guess it's easier for OSAs to give a simple "I hate men" than to actually participate in critical thinking.
No. 341887
There's a really cute woman who works at a restaurant I frequent. She gives off lesbian vibes and I always end up interacting with her whenever I'm there. Today she made eye contact with me as soon as I came in despite being busy with other customers, I got nervous and looked away. I would love to ask her out, but I would feel really embarrassed if she isn't actually gay or is in a relationship already and I end up having to eat my meals with a side order of shame every time I go back there.
>>341872I agree 100%
I also believe gender ideology is a psyop to derail feminism and prevent this from happening, but that's just my tinfoil hat thought
No. 341996
File: 1690361988520.jpg (574.82 KB, 608x1258, horizontal aggression.jpg)
>>341869>They don't owe you anything and you don't owe them anything either. This is honestly true and a wake-up call. After I read the Ses purs ongles essays (picrel, a very recommended read) I realized how much lesbians are manipulated into being handmaidens for OSA women and never demand anything just for themselves, and it's completely due to us having different goals in life and nothing will ever change that. While we both want to be seen as equals to men, they're willing to haggle and bargain just so they can have a man by their side. We're not, because we don't desire male company like they do. As a life-long feminist it's a heartache to admit, but there's no point in constantly fighting their battles and softening my words for them. They will never appreciate it and never see it from my viewpoint, and I will never understand their desire to sell their entire gender short just so that Nigel could maybe treat them a bit more respectfully.
No. 342027
File: 1690384797388.gif (1.18 MB, 498x371, lisa-simpson-waiting.gif)
Women my age couldn't make it more obvious that they see me as a freak weirdo for being a butch lesbian. In every interaction there's this lingering disgust in the air. They're polite, but they're cold. I'm grateful not to be single. If I were trying to date in this environment I'd lose every ounce of self confidence I have. As it is, it still gets to me. I tend to make friends with older women and whatever men don't act aggressive and weird towards me. Sometimes when I see someone shying away from me in the hall I just want to stop and say "I'm fucking normal, get it? Calm down!". All I need to do to get this affect is cut my hair, it's insane. Sometimes I think about growing it out again.
No. 342121
File: 1690431522104.jpg (72.81 KB, 592x581, 8WbiicP.jpg)
Every woman I've fallen for always ends up transitioning later in life, and there are no local gay bars in my area. I'm scared/uncomfortable with trying dating apps, I truly feel like a hopeless romantic.
I wish I was better at communication, i lost contact with my last crush when I moved out of town for university. She was gorgeous and we had so much in common. I didn't pursue her back when she ID'd as he/they, but since moving she's back to being a femme cis woman. I miss her… why didn't i make efforts to stay in touch.
No. 342145
File: 1690449719124.jpg (720.23 KB, 2667x2492, 1657226306690.jpg)
> see a GNC woman on the street
> smile and double take
> shit it was a young moid
> smile instantly turn upside down
am I the only one or I'm just retarded
No. 342196
>>342178I could fund if I'm shown a good pitch that gives me hope. But honestly, I'm pretty blackpilled on the idea. I just can't see it surviving long-term. People get bored, troons invade, LARPing bis invade, moids invade. I want to believe we could keep it going, I really do. But after all these years online, I'm jaded. My offline lesbian friends are a friend group it took me over a decade to curate and a group we fought to keep as a homos only zone. We often go camping and do a lot of outdoorsy stuff, as we've found it to be very therapeutic. We keep saying we need to go online and create a space for us to get more baby dykes out in nature before online spaces destroy their soul. But that's even more of a pipe dream due to the inevitable geographical distances. I'd love to magically combine these two things, but my friend group is 30s-60s and a lotta these gals have no idea what an imageboard is, and it would be quite a culture shock for them, kek. Anyway, keep me posted. Anons please feel free to un-blackpill me and blow me away with your ideas. I've done well for myself and can easily fund us. I've been looking for a chance to give back to the lesbian community and this could be a good opportunity.
No. 342202
>>342196NTA, but I know for a fact that there are women in the early-to-mid 30s who would know what an imageboard is (granted they would have to be nerdy/logged on to some degree), since I'm early 30s and discovered them during high school. I think something more closed off like a semi-private forum (still technically anon - pick a fake username, use a burner email and VPN, a way to verify if someone is female anyway, etc.) is better than an imageboard though. Maybe it's from growing up in the old school internet, but I prefer privacy.
I don't blame a lot of lesbians for being blackpilled, but I live somewhere with no IRL lesbian community, so it kind of frustrates me how, so many online friends I had tend to abandon the prospect of online spaces for real lesbians just go back to their IRL friend circles and leave those who can't foster that in the dust. (Even though I 100% understand why the do that - I probably would delete all social media and Discord too if I had IRL friends, a partner, etc IRL.) I think something online can help the non-babygays just as much as the late teens-early-to-mid-20s crowd.
No. 342359
Every woman I like is either straight or troons out, and I'm starting to lose hope. All I want is a normal, sweet, romantic butch girlfriend, but dating apps are overrun with scrotes in skirts, LARPing straight girls, and self hating themlets. I used to be the latter, so I'm trying to be patient, but fuck, it's rough out here. I'm so sick of LARPers especially, you know the type, women who list Sofia by Clairo as their favorite song and post memes that are like uwu women…preddy…but gag at the prospect of eating pussy and don't know how to court a woman worth a damn. I hate hate hate how they just treat you like a galpal/bestie, it's like to them being a lesbian is about anything and everything except wanting to have sex with women. It's easy to weed out TIMs, but now I'm skeptical of practically every woman on dating apps I see too because they just literally do not want to be with women. Like what is even the point??
No. 342380
>>342370Stop begging for infighting. You aren't impressing anyone with your snark. The hidden thread isn't to vent about OSA women, the description of it is "Lesbian only vent thread, febfem, polilez, horrendous experience with bi women… Let it all out !"
Calling them whores is venting, anyway, but someone in there doing that ruffled your feathers hard. So hard you turned the thread into a liberal turned radical feminist versus blackpill anon vent thread.
No. 342382
>>342378How ironic that thread was made on a hidden board so lesbians could hide from the comphet political lesbians. Now you have to be one to post, or else
nonnie will call you blackpilled, a misogynist, insecure and obsessed with purity - for being a lesbian who doesn't want to read her educational essays, explaining the need for some lesbians to sleep with men to know. They already have this thread and that wasn't enough. Sigh.
>>342196Rich lesbian, please save us all.
No. 342386
>>342380Not trying to infight and multiple people post in there. I'm not the one starting the stupid war between the so-called blackpill anons and the radfems or libfems. I've given up on the cursed thread.
>>342382Ironically enough, the heated responses anons get when speaking against comphet is almost enough to blackpill me.
No. 342417
File: 1690584726498.jpeg (325.71 KB, 750x627, 7B3C77EE-4FA4-4CA8-9FAD-EF3526…)
>>342414
Lol are you alright? I was asking if anyone had any opinions on that forum.
No. 342419
File: 1690584840698.jpg (52.26 KB, 1200x675, spongebob-rainbow-meme-imagina…)
>>342417and that's… my opinion on that forum
No. 342434
File: 1690589496018.jpg (210.53 KB, 678x965, nOrb8f.jpg)
Anyway does anyone like movies? I just saw Yes Or No and it was alright, had a butch as one of the leads. I'd recommend it if you want a good cheesy romcom.
No. 342575
>>342513They probably weren't playing you, go check the selfcows thread on /ot/ to see the kind of mentally ill lifestyles those anons lead, I doubt any of your exes were as deranged as them.
Don't let this site make you jaded anon, take breaks.
No. 342780
>>342759Man, I remember going to Paris for work when I was 20. My first time out of the UK since my mother and I immigrated there. I was like "hell yeah I'm gonna hit the bars and meet some hot French chicks!" My French was (and still is) appalling so it took a while, but eventually I got talking to this really beautiful older woman. She was very sophisticated, knew lots about art, we were really getting along well. I was just drinking cheap beer because I didn't have much money, and she's like "oh don't have that swill, I'll get us some wine and teach you about it". At this point in my life all I'd had was beer, cider, and whisky. I thought wine was basically alcoholic fruit juice, so I'm like "oh sure, sounds great" trying to play it cool like I'm on her level of classiness. We're chatting at the table, flirting a lil bit and just as I'm thinking I might get somewhere with her, I take a sip of the red wine she got us and it's DISGUSTING. It absolutely does NOT taste like alcoholic fruit juice, and I ended up spitting it out like the baby I am, accidentally getting some on a bystanders shoes in the process. Turns out doing that is a bit of a mood killer and my mademoiselle ended up ditching me as I rinsed my mouth out in the bathroom. Not my finest hour.
No. 342817
>>342726This reads like a woman defending a man who wouldn't return the favor. Bisluts will continue to bislut regardless, and continue to call and treat lesbians worse, and straight women would never shield you this hard to their lesbian porn watching moids. This forum has been taken over by ugly comphet radical feminists so badly. Even TLC isn't this sensitive or neutered on main, and that's supposed to be the uncensored thread.
>>342727>>342733Oh, of course you're not against calling a woman a bitch in passing. Anything that offends your "comphet" heterosexuality is off limits though, huh? "Everyone-is-one-straight-blackpill-anon following me" schizo, go back to Reddit.
No. 342840
File: 1690905044788.jpg (13.36 KB, 405x405, 1688940347196.jpg)
Are dating apps worth it? I have no way to tell which women are gay and potentially into me IRL.
If all dating apps are shit, what else can I do to meet women? It's not like I can cold approach randos and hope to get a phone number.
No. 342862
>>342840>Are dating apps worth it?Not if you're aiming to a non-poly relationship.
My personal experience in a North-West European country:
Tinder
>Obviously 99,9% looking for hookups, lots of bicurious women, lots of men falsely registering as women, lots of unicorn hunters, lots of bots, women that are only there to advertise their instagram and will never text you back, women who are only there to collect matches and act like you're bothering them by trying to spark a convo, overall driest most boring people I've ever tried to talk to 2/10Her
>many trannies and gendies, but comparatively more lesbians. There's still the thing of many women being there to collect likes and not talking etc but I guess that's everywhere. 6/10Bumble
>mostly tourists and people looking for friends / advertising their insta 4/10Hinge
>annoying layout, pretty decent in prodding people into putting a little more effort in their profiles, but women be flaky anyway 5/10
>If all dating apps are shit, what else can I do to meet women?Tell me when you find out.
No. 342940
File: 1690982110025.jpeg (980.43 KB, 4222x4000, graph.jpeg)
Speaking of dating apps. Here are the statistics of my profile, I thought it was funny. The number of profiles we swipe is mind-blowing.
No. 343044
>>342805Maybe try to emulate that
terf(?) flag with different heart emojis representing each colour
No. 343098
>>343044Please don't tell me you're calling the goddamn Suffragette flag a "
TERF flag".
No. 343176
File: 1691125412317.png (23.6 KB, 275x275, 4AD125E9-3C3A-45B0-924E-3E2787…)
How do we feel about the bush? How long is too long?
No. 343183
>>343176Agree with
>>343182 it's completely dependent on the girl. The only pussy I will not eat is bald pussy. It's not an appealing look, and the last time I did I had the WORST stubble burn around my mouth and chin. Looked like I'd been French kissing a hedgehog.
No. 343202
File: 1691157858272.jpg (Spoiler Image,107.24 KB, 600x800, CZja99uXEAAjjnW.jpg)
>>343176Full bush all the way (as long as she has good hygiene). Trimmed is okay but I really prefer when it's long enough to pet and play with. Bald is a major turn off. Body hair is the only physical thing that I'm picky and shallow about, hairless bodies give me the ick.
No. 343285
File: 1691231332287.gif (5.64 MB, 498x498, marge-ashamed.gif)
>>343281>mfw I'm also the anon who fucked her straight neighbour after doing handiwork for her and am also married wwith kids on the wayI lucked out with most of the women in my life, I know that. I don't even have the explanation of being good-looking. Well, I could lie and say I'm a Chadette, but I'm just some weird autist so it's not like animal magnetism. I think as a butch I have a higher chance of meeting lesbians and bi women because they usually approach me as I'm visibly gay. That's my theory, anyway. I'm also a recovering alcoholic and junkie, so I spent a
lot of time in gay bars and at parties so naturally I met plenty of women that way.
No. 343350
>>343333it's part of the experience
>>343336I mean the pussy IS more sensitive bald
for me at least, but shaving is a bitch and sometimes being too sensitive doesn't feel good
for me again No. 343577
>>343574AYRT, she said she was a feminist, loved Harry Potter and "No Pronouns" were a must kek. I admire her bravery because we live in an uber woke area where everyone in LGBT spaces is a they/them genderqueer or a trans woman, so much as saying "butch" riles these kids up.
Personally I'm not sure how obvious I am, I just don't have pronouns added and I use the term lesbian specifically. No "queer" shit.
No. 343584
>>343176Personally I don't mind a bush as long as it's trimmed and not unruly. That being said, on myself I find the hair to be annoying.
TMI but
I've got hair all over the majora but the mound itself barely has anything. The hair is irritating to cut and sometimes gets tangled/pulled on by underwear/pads even when short. Would it be dumb to get it removed? It genuinely inconveniences me so much and can be painful. I'm not looking to be fully bald (I hate the look) but I just want the majora hair gone.
No. 343614
>>343613Ok cool! (Hint, click on anonymous to get the address)
>>343531Est-ce qu'il reste des bars plus ou moins sympas pour les lesbiennes ? La Mutinerie à l'air ultra libfem lol
No. 343621
>>343614sent you a mail!
Never been to la mutinerie but from friend Iv'e heard it's full of libfem girls who can't dance, I also remember them having a party with a pageant of sex worker… So cringe
No. 343628
>>343621I sent a reply!
Yeah after seeing their marketing, I'm not surprised to hear that. Doubt I'll be setting foot there tbh
No. 343657
>>343636Sent you a reply.
Y'a pas grand chose hein. J'ai vu qu'il y a aussi un bar qui a l'air récent, le Elles bar au Marais. Tu connais ?
No. 344152
>>344121You did the right thing, anon. Never get involved with girls who are still in their "screw you, mum and dad!" phase. It'll only lead to headaches and disappointment.
>>344126I agree with
>>344133 most people with homophobic parents would not inform them that they're dating the same sex. They'd go out of their way to keep it on the down low, and they certainly wouldn't make insensitive comments like that. It reeks of immature rebellion.
No. 344302
>>344299I think it depends on where you live, your partner's sensibilities, the longevity of the relationship, what your life goals are, etc. Like this would be a huge issue to me if I wanted to settle down, get married, and adopt kids because I couldn't handle us being kept a secret, I'd either want my partner to cut them off or introduce us. But in the early stages of a relationship, I don't think you necessarily have to blow up your life like that (although I'm sure some women do only want to date other fully "out" people to avoid the baggage). I'd also be concerned she'd have internalized some of their homophobia and I'd have to reassure her often, but it's not a definite dealbreaker, just something you have to be forthcoming about if the relationship seems like it will become serious. You don't owe anything to a fling, but if you're dating a woman long-term, yeah, it'd be concerning and you'd both have to be on the same page to avoid hurting her.
No. 344303
>>344289As a butch who's had men get aggro and weird at me since I was a teenager, I cannot emphasise enough how important it is to learn self-defence. I did Krav Maga as a kid and then boxing and MMA later on, and I can't say it's not come in handy. Don't just do combat sport alone though, take self-defence classes too. They should be able to teach you all sorts of ways to use a man's height and weight against him, how to evade and counter-attack. I've been attacked a few times, and it's very scary; even as a tall muscular woman, men are still very imposing because of their physical advantage. So these tips are quite literally lifesavers. A lot of men see masculine women and think we're peacocking, that we want to be them, so naturally the defective Y chromosome makes them think it's their job to put us lowly women in our place. If you're in public where there's CCTV and a crowd, you need to first raise your hands in a gesture of surrender and loudly tell them you're not looking for a fight and to leave you alone. Make sure you have people watching you, you might get lucky and have security or a good Samaritan intervene. More importantly though, if you get arrested for self-defence the police will check the CCTV and speak to witnesses, and if you're seen trying to avoid the fight it'll make you look good. I spent a night in a holding cell for self-defence (that I admittedly took too far) but because I had witnesses and CCTV showing me do those things I avoided conviction. Of course, learning self-defence and a combat sport is a long process, so in the meantime carry mace or a legal alternative. Spray and run is a very effective tactic and better than getting in a fist fight, ESPECIALLY if there's more than one man. In this day and age, every woman should carry self-defence spray, IMO. Stay safe out there, nona.
No. 344368
File: 1691912875860.png (1.75 MB, 1179x1133, IMG_0043.png)
>>344357The other nona at
>>344303 gave excellent advice. To add my experience, yes. I am not particularly physically imposing, 5’9 and slight build but when I had a buzz cut, and dressed in a very obviously masc way, I got so much intimidating and downright aggressive behaviour from men in public, especially the gym too. It got particularly bad if I was walking around with a femme girlfriend. It got so exhausting that I capitulated a few years ago, grew my hair and started dressing more feminine as a path of least resistance. It’s depressing because I miss being able to present as my authentic self and I hate that I’ve given into fear of moids. I hope one day I can truly ignore all scrote tard rage in public and be myself. Sad as it is, I’ve also been ostracised by some shitty lesbophobic women in workplaces but thankfully not in public. I have gone to the gym since I was 17 and kickboxed as well so I know I could hold my own if I had to try and get away, that helps.
No. 344532
File: 1692012689710.png (178.54 KB, 1380x253, Снимок экрана 2023-08-14 в 14.…)
I actually think that that is pretty cool… I'd like to join a horny lesbian club or smth kek I don't care if it's cringe or maybe it's just a third worlder in me speaking
also the replies to it are weirdly homophobic, calling lesbians like that scrotes on a spiritual level, yeah calling lesbians men is so original. I kept silence when farmers wrote homophobic shit about gay men, because I don't care about manhate, but maybe that was a mistake?
No. 344535
>>344532I think it's cringe and gross to mimic male degeneracy, but that post was 100% bait. It's the butch = pseudo TIF equivalence that is surprisingly prevalent on here rearing its ugly head again. The criticisms of gay men
can be very
valid. There's rampant misogyny and lesbophobia in their community, and they often push the envelope with shit like NAMBLA and taking to the streets in kink gear. But a lot of what's posted on here is just intolerance of any kind of homosexuality, the pride thread this year is a good example of this.
No. 344557
>>344556>I guess I would be considered right wing because of my view on troonsYou're onto something.
Rightoids hope to muddy the waters. Notice how all of a sudden you need very little to be considered "right-leaning"? Meanwhile, leftoids do nothing to combat this sentiment. Quite the opposite, actually. They have been digging their own grave for quite a while now. And too many people start thinking, if I get called rightwing over a minor disagreement, maybe I am one? Maybe it's not so bad?
The wheel might turn very soon, and we are going to be so screwed if it does.
No. 344605
>>344587I like the TIF thread as it makes me A-log less than the TIM one, but some of the posters in there are straight up assholes. Quite funny to watch them complain about ROGD and young women trooning out en masse, and then contribute to one of the causes with their open disdain for gender non-conformity and lesbianism. Don't even get me started on what they consider butch. Oh, pixie cut, minimal make up, women's jeans and a t-shirt? Damn, what a hot butch! I've almost started infights several times over now, but always stop myself from posting because I know I'll just be accused of "gatekeeping" the label butch. I could explain that we use labels to find our community and finally be amongst people where we're not the odd one out. That when you water down what butch is (or any other label for that matter), you're making it harder for us to find true camaraderie. But let's be real, I'd just be called a dyke or a future TIF or a combination of the two. Used to have good bants in there and thoughtful posts from women like myself who struggle with "dysphoria", but it's going downhill fast. If I read the word "pooner" one more time, Lord help me I'm going to track those basement dwellers down and poison their tendies.
Ok that was really off-topic, in good lesbian news: I am planning a surprise holiday for my wife! It'll be our last trip abroad before the babies arrive. It's very exciting, and I'm at a great point in my life at the moment. How's things going for everyone else?
No. 345137
>>344535>>344536>>344546>>344605I've been speaking about this for years here and it's why I don't buy into any of the "b-but gays are pedos!" schemes they try to pull because it's blatantly obvious what the real meaning behind their "concern" is. It's the same as the "radfems" obsessively a-logging FTMs, they feign concern over lesbians being brainwashed into trans ideology yet if you let them drop the mask a bit lower you'll see it's just plain butchphobia and disgust over GNC women, and by proxy female homosexuality which the feature is often associated with. And honestly while I do know gay men should be criticized for their lack of solidarity with lesbians, the kind of insufferable faggot they sperg about is the kind who's the gay incel never getting laid since he's an insecure cunt no sane gay man wants to deal with.
They kept pushing the envelope with "anyone else kind of tired of them alphabet people?" posts and people looked the other way, and now this site is filled with bigots openly being homophobic and racist and if you bring it up you get called an oversensitive twitterfag. Shaymin really left the back gate open and most posters just bought into the "yeah fuck them dumb SJWs!" narrative enthusiastically thinking it was going to end with just making fun of "those other gays". Right wingers truly pull the sneakiest psyops and I'm impressed by the clairvoyance of the pre-shaymin admin who actually saw this coming. Sorry I ever doubted her.
>>344980>Some of you are way too sensitive, it's kind of embarrassing to witness.And this is the exact kind of shit I addressed above.
No. 345140
>>344994NTA and not a lesbian(ik this isn't my thread or whatever) but I've gotten sexually harassed by straight women and never had bad experiences with gay/bi women. Although I'm sure there are some bad lesbians as bad people exist in every group, I doubt lesbians being predatory is more likely than straight women, it's probably equal.
Anyway, the lesbophobic stuff on /ot/ are probably posted by men so it's not worth getting upset over, reporting and ignoring will make them give up
No. 345147
>>345144I mean nonna, appart from maybe one they do look goofy, so did their empty fight. Maybe because I became Impermeable to the kinks communities but why not dress masc and "agressively good" like skinheads or zoot suiters did instead of like…That.
>>345145KEK idk if it's because butch are usually nurses or social worker in my country but being scared of them is so stupid
No. 345156
File: 1692311402095.png (1.16 MB, 3671x2041, R76THDE.png)
>>345146The entire post was baiting lesbophobic circlejerking.
No. 345166
>>345159obv I know but there is still this second " it's not a phase mom " edgy angsty element to it that lesbian bar culture and average butch don't have.
Also c'mon, mud wrestling ? Wrestling in jam too will we are at it, I remember the men in my family talking and salivating about it and it looked so gross and forced, it's like famous degrading stuff models would do for males to gawk at since the 50s or something.
Don't try to say it's cottagecore lesbian to find it gross, submission wrestling with oiled up or naked women would be much more hot than messy shit.
No. 345198
>>345165>Also what do you mean about pre-shaymin admin predicting this?She was the one who got rid of those pinkpill threads because she knew this would happen. IIRC she was a non-white lesbian herself and specifically talked about the site getting traffic from people who didn't belong here and were refusing to integrate since they just wanted to sperg about trannies and nothing else. The pinkpill threads were notorious for being filled with racebait which probably gave them away and
triggered the leaked discord rant of hers complaining about ingrate middle class white women masquerading as radfems treating her like a slave that users continuously started using against her. Looking back at it her anger was completely justified and I can understand the frustration of trying to explain what's happening and people refusing to listen.
>>345166Nobody's saying you can't find it gross, you definitely can because I wouldn't get into that shit either, but calling it some degenerate scrote thing is an overreaction and especially weaponizing it as some proof of butches being "male-like predators" is fucked up.
No. 345209
>>345196I mean no but idk why it's so controversial since it's an issue appearing in many groups, even within non lgbt space.
My issue is this specific group of lesbian who live in group sex squat commune, being in a lesbian squat with other attract young homeless lesbian who got kicked out by their family. The ideas it's promoting for young sexually and romantically non experimented, especially masc lesbians ( as in a even more socially non accepted so at risk of precarious life conditions and having lived traumatic events ) that it's cool to be in an unstable living condition having kinky sex even tho they just got out of complicated life situation ( and BDSM is a famous cope for traumatic situation for females ), is dubious to me.
I'm not saying they were conscious of it and the rebellious time period post Vivienne Westwood "SEX" fashion store, people were going full throttle against puritanist without questioning the deeper effect it has on the person ( and we still have to fight about it with the "!!! no kink 3 shaming crowd" ).
>>345174I mean this too, fucking outisde to be in plane view of random ppl trying to live about is just extremely questionable, go and fuck in a bush or a public toilet but not in the middle of a park mate.
>>345198Idk if it's cultural differences and the fact I'm ESL so it sound like I'm making connections I don't think I'm trying to express.
What I want to say is it's scrotey, because it has a scrotey specific history to degrade the woman doing it versus average wrestling. We are bombarded with male sexual fantasies on the daily so I don't blame them for thinking it's sexy, but I'm blaming them for getting their ass out of the way to bring mud in a BDSM club and promoting it instead of doing it in a barn where there is already mud like real cowboys. I do also judge them for enjoying women wrestling with mud on them instead of the raw sensuality of 2 women wrestling. It's the extra step " to make it better " that I find scrotish in the end.
No. 345211
>>345208In what world am I
>>345203 a baiter? Don't you see how the post I had replied to was incredibly offensive, 1) comparing us to men, 2) implying you can't just be a horny pervert as a woman, you must be copying it from a man. That post has the air of a middle aged woman interrogating her daughter who's just expressed an opinion, "Who taught you that? What do you mean you just think that? Did you hear it from your aunt?" And it's not about kink anymore btw.
No. 345272
>>345216ok sorry nonna : I despise all butches, we all know the moment a lesbian become one she is instantly given a kink club card by satan and become a magical creature unable to be abused by other women but who go and try to hurt all the innocent femmes AND ARE NEVER TREATED LIKE QUICK FUCK MATERIAL ONLY BY OTHER WOMEN OBV!!!! GRRRRrrr I love acting like I care about a group of women but in reality I hate themmmmm
Are you happy now ?
Idk what to say anymore since it seem to be a mix of mainly a disagrement on opinions and maybe a bit of miscommunication.
I do have to say on the issue of the mud wrestling I'm meant scrotey as in scrotey culture, not saying it cannot appear in females and it's "biologically" male, but mud wrestling does not exist in a vaccum and it has an historical context, that why it struck me. The main difference between male or female on sexual urges, may it be due to nature or nurture or the 2 at the same time, is their capacity to control the effect of their horniness and fantasy on their personal life and the life of the ones around them ( except pedo shit, we have as I know of only males who did this shit without having an history of sexual or extreme abuse beforehand, only by escalating fantasy ). It's important to question why something that is not related to the sexual pleasure response of your partner ( be it by giving it or receiving it ) excite you, to understand why and where it's from.
I do personally believe younger ppl in construction of their autonomy and identity should first learn safely from the bases, without depending on the same peoples for sex and safety, food and shelter. At the end of the day the ones who sadly are the most hurt from this will be the butches since they will have even more difficulty dealing with traumas due to the GNCphobia of most women who could help them.
I'm gonna stop answering you directly afterward because I feel like I just have to agree we will have to disagree and I don't want us to continue scratching our brains out on this since you wanna insist I'm butch and sex fantasy phobic because I'm expressing concers on a specific kinky group of masc lesbian from 4 decades ago.
>>345211Also maybe it's because some have better compartmentalizing abilities than I but how the hell you can have sex in public with men around, I litteraly can't fuck or masturbate if I can hear my male neighbour voice thourgh the wall. If there is any of them around I would be such a turn off
No. 345290
>>345285I have thought about this scenario too, back when I really hated myself for being a lesbian. I just wanted to fit in and to not cause any family drama. Or you know, just stay forever celibate, for the sake of my mother's sanity.
It's not worth it. Those people are not worth it. Idk about your experiences, but one day I had an argument with my mother and the way she treated me showed me that she is not worth the lifelong misery. I guess this type of stuff is only worth it if the community and family love is so strong it can fill the missing pieces of your life. But it rarely is, so I don't see the point of sacrificing myself to make others slightly more comfortable
No. 345292
>>345285>>345287Yeah agree, just tell them that she's your best friend and if you need a story for why you live together say it's to cover living expenses or because she has a condition that requires help. People rarely question it tbh. I remember one anon who was proudly talking about how her aunt bought a house with her "best friend" who she had been with for years and anons had to tell her kek
>>345291It's very understandable that you want to be brave and it really sucks, but you don't have to play hero either. Change is gradual.
No. 345295
>>345285Nona, don't do it. My great-grandmother and great-grandfather were in what the west calls a "lavender marriage". They were both homosexual but came from very religious background so agreed to marry to avoid suspicion. They thought they wanted a child and that it would help them bond, but really they just knew it would help legitimise the sham. My grandmother was conceived with a literal turkey baster, but her arrival only made things worse. Shortly after she turned 1 my great-grandfather committed suicide by drinking bleach in a public bathroom. He left a note for my great-grandmother, explaining that he loved her, but not like a straight man could, that he couldn't live life suppressing who he was. The police read the note and as homosexuality was illegal, this made the local news. My great-grandmother had to flee her home and move far away because although the note did not confirm she was gay too, it did imply that. She lived an ok life after this, even had a couple of "lady companions" in her old age, but she was a deeply traumatised woman, this impacted both my grandmother and mother. Ironically I've always been compared to her, both in looks and personality, and I also nearly ended up with a gay guy too. I went through conversion therapy and was "courting" a guy I met through that. We both wanted children, and thought that our kids would be our strength. The guy didn't mind me being butch either, as attitudes are a bit more lax now about that; especially if you're straight. On paper it made sense to me in the midst of my psychosis, but when he got down on one knee and proposed, I thought I was going to puke. Every cell in my body rebelled against the idea and suddenly I understood why my great-grandfather took his life. Don't do it, nona. Be a crazy cat lady, become a nun, anything but this. It doesn't work and it never will work.
No. 345297
>>345295Your story is literally insane, I mean
> I've always been compared to her, both in looks and personality> repeats her story then breaks ityou were literally sent here to break the cycle and be the one who creates a happy gay family, healing your great-grandmothers lineage. The woo woo karmic ladies would love you
No. 345676
>>345665NTA but she is right. You can agree that the rabid homophobia on here has gone too far
and also acknowledge that no man - gay, bi or straight - will ever be a womans ally. They're not mutually exclusive ideas.
>>345666I was sexually assaulted and physically and emotionally abused by a femme, and yet I don't blame them all because, shockingly, they're not a hivemind! Also licking your face and arm is not a form of sexual assault. It's weird behaviour, sure, but to try and say that it's legitimately a form of SA is ridiculous and insulting.
No. 345688
>>345685I understand it just fine, you don't have to condescend to me. I do not believe we have strength in numbers with them any more. Sure,
we show up for them, but do they show up for us? Fuck no. We're losing our bars, our clubs, the very definition of the word "lesbian" and where are our brothers in arms? At best, you get a handful of old school gay guys who actually did know how to organise. But they're literally a dying breed. There is a divide between the west and the rest of the world, though. I admit that. In countries like my shithole motherland where beatings and killings are still a regular occurrence, I do see true allyship. I also see it in other countries where homosexuality is outlawed, you can't get married, you can legally be discriminated against, etc. Speaking as someone now living in the west though, it seems like things started to fall apart once we got our basic rights. I'd love to be proven wrong, I'd love to see gay guys actually put in the work with us like they used to; but I'm not holding my breath.
No. 345699
File: 1692577804958.jpg (74.43 KB, 750x599, EXW2LcUUEAAWTGX.jpg)
>>345693I do agree with you to an extend. The first dividing figure when the whole sjw vs anti sjw era who was not true trans was a lesbian, one of the first in recent academia to publicly talk about it is also a lesbian. We do need allyship of the gay men, ones who will accept to play the card of we are not cool queer freaks, we just are people who want to be able to live peacefully and be part of society.
No. 345741
https://www.thelesbianproject.co.uk"Led by
basedJulie Bindel and Kathleen Stock, The Lesbian Project intends to give voice and influence to women whose stories are too often overlooked. The Lesbian Project works to build a knowledge base about lesbian lives, promote sensible and evidence-based policy, and contribute to building lesbian community in the UK and internationally. A not-for-profit organisation, The Lesbian Project is non-partisan."
No. 345794
File: 1692641928239.jpeg (19.41 KB, 275x261, IMG_7012.jpeg)
I need help lesbo nonnas. My friend has been trying to set me up with her roomate and I’m strongly considering it. We have similar hobbies and she’s hot as hell. The two problems though, she lives an hour away (my friend and I went to different universities) I’ve driven up there about every month to hang out with my friend but having to drive up more would be a pain. Also she is a she/they but to me it reads like she just put they as a pronoun she’s ok with and she doesn’t post any gendie shit otherwise and my friend who is kinda woke always just refers to her as she/her. Anyway should I go on another date with her? We’ve only had one group thing so far but I don’t want to get too invested if it won’t work out.
No. 345849
>>345838KEK that explains it. rooting for you,
nonnie!
No. 345878
>>345826She's literally using blackpill psyche by assuming all women are going to side with their rapist men and that all women are
insert derogatory words containing dicks and cum. No lesbian constantly thinks of dicks or cum, only the blackpill anons have an obsession with those and that's because they tend to have porn addictions.
No. 345908
>>345838There's nothing adult about driving 2 hours back and forth to see your partner. On the contrary, the older you get, the more distance becomes a determining factor. I'm only 25, but long-distance relationships are a no go for me. With work there is too little free time to waste it on the road.
But don't stop yourself from living a great story if you feel good with this girl.
No. 346160
>>346000I have the same issues, it's reading story like
>>345295 that help me, to know I was not the only one facing such questions and the consequences could be disastrous.
One thing I also do is explore what I appreciate and also find sexualy attractive within women.
And as stupid as it is, seeing how men bodies don't attract me irl.
I consume a lot of male media like action movie and such so I see and appreciate males characters and actors. When I went to my city's pride, early in the afternoon sot it was PG, I remember chatting and walking around well groomed muscle gay guys. I never forget how unattractive every one of them were to me, they were not even juiced up dry oiled up bodybuilder or anything. It was seeing so close, in the compact crowd, how their skin texture look, their smell, their bones, their fat distibution…Not even their fashion style or attitude. But the women around them, it was a world appart to me…
No. 346196
>>346127>What do you wish existed?Sci-fi (cyberpunk specifically), post-apocalyptic stuff, Tom Clancy-esque military schlock (seriously the untapped homoeroticism of military settings is a gold mine), and crime. Preferably in novel form.
>What are some things you are tired of seeing?Feminine women. No hate, but
every fucking lesbian media piece out there it's always two feminine women. Not even actual femmes a lot of the time, they'll make them both bisexual because it's more Marketable(tm) but also because of straight up lesbophobia. Like, if a story had two LESBIAN feminine women I wouldn't actually mind it too much now that I think about it. But yeah, where's my buff butch representation, goddamnit. Also, weeb shit. Nothing grinds my gears more than being told "hey there's this cool lesbian piece of media" and then you find out it's a Chinese cartoon.
No. 346197
File: 1692906363528.jpg (123.39 KB, 1139x1080, 1670426956507.jpg)
Anyone else feels pretty undesirable on dating apps?
I live in a capital city in the heart of Europe, I'm usually considered attractive, curated my DA profile, put various nice and nonfiltered pics of myself etc… and yet on Bumble I get 2 likes on a good day and most of them are coming from men (who for some reason registered as women), or overweight polyamorous women/enbies/other undesirables.
Started thinking everyone in my life lied to me and that I must actually be really ugly.
No. 346209
>>346201How is this relevant to my post? I was talking about the people swiping right on me.
I'm not out here pursuing supermodels either.
No. 346293
>>346128I'm plotting one out right now. I can't draw for shit though so it's all notes right now. It's a 'guard falls for who they're protecting' type romance subplot between the two lesbian leads. Neither one is helpless and they're bound by a magic contract (mutually beneficial, more for one than the other). It's written in a hybrid of western european fantasy with an anime feel to it. So
>>346196 would probably hate it lol
Both leads are MCs and have prologues in their perspective. The guard is masc, guarded is femme.
I generalised it (painfully so) but hey, gotta create what you want to see. Hopefully further down the line I'll release it in my preferred form (webtoon).
No. 346299
>>346293Aww I love that you are working on it, I hope you will manifest it into a visual form eventually!
>It's a 'guard falls for who they're protecting' type romance subplotYeah, I think this is a popular one, I have dreamed up plots about this & back when I was on tumblr I saw posts and fan/art related to it
No. 346326
>>346261>shadowbannedI do have a line about "no penis havers", could it
trigger some kind of autofilter?
No idea about the right app, I see that Bumble seems to be tourists and travellers mostly.
>>346272>you're probably ugly/look weird(dangerhair, empty gaze, nonsmiling pic etc) oor have a weird bio(mentioning sexual stuff or saying you want marriage right away etc.)None of those. I have something like "No hookups and open relationships" but that's hardly extreme.
No. 346338
>>346326>I do have a line about "no penis havers", could it trigger some kind of autofilter?possibly
more likely that some tranny or blue-haired handmaiden reported your profile
No. 346355
File: 1693016941810.jpeg (295.45 KB, 1600x1200, 8DB36331-F448-4089-AC07-DA88A1…)
Anyway bulldykes are disgusting honorary scrotes(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
No. 346482
>>346301Sorry nonna, my dream scenario is to be the masc knight kek
Despite categorising both of them… most of the time you see either they're in armour anyway. Honestly it's mainly formal events where you'll see the femme look femme, if that makes sense. Otherwise she's in as much armour as her wife lol
While I called the guard masc, she's more chapstick tbh. Honestly using butch is just better for branding.
>>346299Thanks
nonnie! Honestly it is super popular (and for good reason, it's cute af) in romance generally. Manifesting for the visual. Gonna commission some designs for both MCs soon once I have more money. Both femme's design is pretty busy but hopefully not too much. Worst thing comes to worse, I'll ammend the story to adapt.
No. 346691
File: 1693253024688.jpg (30.95 KB, 696x722, 7f938bfc87c7c340.jpg)
>>346674
No
No. 346699
>>346671Aww, that's so cute anon! I used to cook for my co-workers a lot and I used food to show my wife I was interested in her, lol. Like, she'd talk about missing a certain food from America (we live on
TERF Island) and I'd learn how to make it and then bring it into work for her. Come to think of it, I romanced her like a Stardew Valley character. I just kept giving her food until I maxed out her heart meter, KEK.
>>346696Probably that Blaine guy again. People need to stop replying and feeding whatever the fuck this weird obsession of his is. I know I'm giving him fuel as well now, but yeah, just ignore weirdos with obvious bait and report ASAP.
No. 346776
I know I'm exclusively attracted to women but I've been in a place for years now where I just have to get my shit together, work hard, and be a better person, and that's just led to zero desire to date or really even consider any woman as romantic material. I'm a little worried I may just end up on this kissless trajectory and be an eternal single lonely bachelorette or whatever. What if it turns out I'm just not built for relationships? I'm worried because friendships seem so tenuous as we get older - other women start dating, marry, have kids, or move away for jobs or spouses. Who am I going to find a companion in if I don't even date, then? Bachelor guys still have guy friends that meet them by foisting off their share of housework to their wives. Most my friends are women who, if they don't stay single, will bear the brunt of at least the mental load of running their entire households.
I do want to date in the future (when I have my shit together kek) but then I get worried bc who's going to want to date someone totally green in her late 20s-30s. What if I act like a naive highschooler and do immature couple shit everyone already got out of their system? I mean I'll be pulling my own weight if I get into the dating scene - well-paying tech job by then, fit (for at least usa standards), reasonable-looking in the face, I'm funny, have online AND offline hobbies, etc. But right now it feels like I want to date if only to avoid future loneliness which is a major red flag that I'm not ready and have more stuff to get together than just material things. What if the right path for me IS lesbian loneliness??
No. 346823
File: 1693339760334.png (700.26 KB, 852x620, aa.png)
Anyone else feel like lesbophobia is coming back?
I feel like in the last few weeks to months I've seen more seething about lesbians (mostly from rightoid moids, but also from normies) than I've seen in the past 5 years.
No. 346826
>>346699AYRT thank you! i had a day off today but i'm so fucking excited to go in tomorrow and flirt with her instead of doing actual work. your stardew valley romance sounds very sweet by the way, as a fellow
TERF island resident it's always nice to hear about UK lesbian couples who are happy & in love. gives me a little hope lmao
No. 346901
>>346823It never went away, but it is getting worse. Prejudice in general is, IMO. I'm catching a lot more racist abuse lately after years of peace, it feels like the world is becoming much more fractured and divided.
>>346826I'm glad it gives you hope, nona. Things might be getting worse in terms of prejudice from both inside the LGBT "community" and outside, but we're still standing. My wife and I have twins on the way, and I would
never have thought I'd have such a wonderful life. Slightly off-topic, but I know doomposting is hard to resist, and I'm guilty of doing this myself. But we also need to bloompost and talk about the amazing connections we're making with other lesbians; be them platonic or romantic. In times like this, it's especially important to "keep the faith", so to speak.
No. 346988
>>346897I meant in general. I’ve seen a lot of lesbophobia on Twitter lately.
On Lolcow too, but I don’t pay attention to these retards
No. 347036
File: 1693521460143.jpg (218.22 KB, 1080x1080, tumblr_5edab7c3e908a6ceabe4f97…)
can any non-pozzed lesbians explain "trans masculinity" to me? or this desire by butch lesbians to be seen as men/their pleasure at having stranger think they are dudes. no judgement ofc i am just nosy and curious as to what lc has to say
i've experienced this myself btw it was always a bit of a rush to entertain the idea that i embodied the hot and androgynous ideal i crave (but will probably never really reach as god cursed me with ugliness despite my parents being utterly gorgeous at my age but that's a vent for another day!)
No. 347039
>>347036I'm not even butch so for me it's amusing and more like playing along/mad libbing than any desire to be mistaken for a dude. Women wear ~masculinity~ better than men do imo. Then again, women wear anything better than men.
>>347037no that's not weird, I think that's actually very normal
No. 347086
>>347036Can't speak for others, but I let a lot of people think I'm male because it's simply safer that way. My home country is very homophobic and misogynistic, so I never correct anyone when there, as it could put me in danger. In England, it depends on the situation. I can't be bothered correcting people I'll never see again (and I don't want to have an "IT'S MA'AM" moment, kek). But if it's somewhere like the gym where I spend a lot of time, then I usually will correct people unless they give me a bad vibe; where again, staying silent is simply for safety. I wouldn't necessarily say I take pleasure in being read as male, as my whole life I've been tall and fridge built. Which combined with being butch will make a lot of people other you, which used to really get me down. But I do find it funny when homophobes look the nasty butch dykes they hate so much in the face and say "hello sir" and treat you so nicely. I have in the past said "oh btw I'm a woman" as I leave just to piss those people off, kek. It wasn't the smartest thing to do, but it's funny to let them know how stupid they are. Those people always think they have flawless gaydar but get confused by a woman in men's clothes, so that's the one situation where I will enjoy being read wrong.
>>347037To normal, sane people: no, it's completely natural
To the post-libfem kweers: yes, you're heteropatriarchal and queerphobic
>>347047Probably plain ol' misogyny, tbh. After dating a series of increasingly worse women (mostly bisexuals and a few femmes), I genuinely believe these people just don't see us as being "fully" female. I've also dealt with dysphoria and feeling like I
have to transition, even at 32 I still get those thoughts, and I'm really ashamed of it. Even if you have a good woman or close friends who are also masc, the world will keep on wearing you down. So no, I don't think you're in gender-y places or ignorant of lesbian culture. I recommend using the internet sparingly as there's so much bigotry going on right now, and online it's dialled up to 11. You should also try to destroy the mind/body disconnect. Do something physical, work with your body. If you wanna be more masc then bodybuild, I do, and it's made me feel a lot more confident as a butch. I'm at a point where I'm
mostly like "fuck it, love me or leave me, I'm happy as I am". Sports are a good shout if you don't wanna weightlift. Anything that's outdoors and encourages you to connect with your body is good for you, in more ways than one. Hobbies usually come in handy when trying to banish these thoughts, but be conscious of what they are. I like stereotypically dudebro films and video games and sometimes the misogyny from those things will creep up on me and get me feeling down. So try to tailor what you consume to fit how you're feeling and what you want to reinforce. Basically just log off, focus on what's important to you, and indulge in some hobbies. Keep your mind busy, it's those quiet moments when the demons come in, so watch out.
No. 347096
>>347047I was so disturbed first time I saw a butch bulge selfie, what is hot to me is that when she drop her pant she has a pussy, the lower belly and pubic region on a woman is so sexy why hide it with a stupid packer.
I believe Like the other nonna said, it's misogyny and also a mimicking of het relationship and culturally male thirst posting ( I mean I don't think posting a picture of your bulge is a really het man thing )
No. 347130
>>347036Take this with a grain of salt as I'm speaking from a specifically Western perspective and I'm not butch, but historically, lesbians passing as men while in relationships with more visibly feminine women was a safety thing and functioned as a proto butch/femme dynamic. So women performing masculinity for the female gaze just organically became part of lesbian culture. Back in the 70s, butches were considered trans because the concept was more about playing with gender norms and social roles rather than actually trying to become the other. From my experience, butch lesbians who still subscribe to this idea/perceive themselves as "old school" transmasculine just enjoy playing with social concepts of masculinity, so they're getting a kick out of convincingly performing that role in "normie" spaces.
It's always come across to me like they enjoy being uniquely legible to other lesbians (who view their masculinity as desirable) and somewhat incomprehensible to the out-group (who often struggle to parse them accurately.) Not necessarily a genuine desire to be read as male or to validate some deep-seated internal dissonance, but more playful and relishing in the out-group's inability to understand them when the in-group effortlessly does.
No. 347271
>>347137It's crazy right, gay guys' sexuality is left alone yet we're constantly nitpicking saying xyz lesbian thing is male brained or proof someone is bisexual. Gay men can wear makeup and crop tops and shorts, and even use words like cunt or boypussy to describe their assholes, but a lesbian can't wear a strap under her clothes? Sure you can criticise those things for being sexist, but no one uses them as proof that their gay male partner is actually into women.
It speaks to a wider thing. I saw a radfem on tumblr the other day saw she believed gay men who came out after being married/dating women were gay, but she didn't believe the same thing about lesbians who came out after marrying/dating men.
No. 347417
>>347137I'm just going to go out on and say it, I love penetration whether it be with fingers or a toy, both giving and receiving. I don't like eating pussy or getting eaten myself, it's awkward as fuck and doesn't even feel that good. Go on and dogpile on me but I fucking said it. It's unbelievable how everything a lesbian does is supposed to be a political statement, I just want to love and have sex with women and that's it. Me being into straps isn't because of some weird suppressed dick desire but just because my body is built in such a way that it feels good to me, and I only want to do it with women. The polilez police can go kick rocks.
>>347271And most gay men don't even have anal sex because of the amount of prepping it takes and it's painful to many, as far as I know frotting is much more common. Yet nobody tells them that they're not gay for it.
No. 347453
File: 1693856837251.jpg (135.86 KB, 1080x1350, MMA_fighter_Shayna_Baszler.jpg)
true nonna, your a sage. We can always talk about on another thread.
Have a nice pic to thank you
No. 347462
>>347450>>347442I just honestly don't think it's this deep. Strap sex feels good because there are lots of nerve endings in/around the vagina. For women who enjoy receiving strap sex, the visual of the strap is going to be hot. I get that it
triggers dysphoria in some women. This is very sad and I feel for them. Masc women should never be forced into a sexual role just because of the way they look, and I agree that it's a problem if women assume butch = into strapping. But you all sound like recovering alcoholics raging about normies having some wine with dinner. Plenty of women enjoy giving/receiving strap in moderation and are able to separate reality and fantasy without trooning out or encouraging their partner to troon out. We can talk about issues in the lesbian community wrt butches being pressured into certain sexual roles, but
>durrrrr strap pics are gay male cultureis a retarded take that does nothing but nitpick and shame lesbians for not fitting some pollilez ideal.
No. 347936
File: 1694235951961.png (179.24 KB, 563x504, face.png)
I'm so over wasting my time on this girl. We talk off and on for like three years, she cancels today without even bothering to come up with a good reason and I'm sick of it! I've kind of got the sense things aren't going to go anywhere with her but she's also the only person in this city that I have any regular friendly contact with besides classmates/coworkers. I get back on tinder and it's the same old mix of men, couples, "I like (specific type of men) and like all women!!!) bisexuals and the occasional neet lesbian who lives 50 miles away. It's bleak out here nonas
No. 348036
"butches don't have to be x" "butches don't owe you y" oh I'm sorry I didn't know there was a massive social conspiracy to peer pressure you into looking more masc lol. Can I please meet the big monster truck butch who's apparently gatekeeping all the femmy little tomboys? I don't get this shit at all. Who cares? It's not worth trying to force how people perceive you,
>>347418 is right it feels like gendie "you should see me as a man bc I say so" type of shit.
No. 349119
>>349096I personally don't really understand how a lesbian can be into the sexual aspect of it, but I'm against politicizing our sexuality, so I don't gaf what other lesbians are into. Everything is used to No True Scotsman lesbians, whereas other sexualities don't get this treatment. Plus, growing up on ye olde internet, yaoi spaces were THE place to find other SSA women before yaoi became mainstream and your average het got into it, so even if I don't really get it, I can't ignore the fact that I and others used to orbit these spaces to find other lesbians/actually same-sex attracted bisexual women. You're right about a lot of fujos dating each other, I met some of my first girlfriends through gay male ships kek… anyway I believe it's ultimately harmless, and scrutinizing a woman's sexuality based on her interests is kind of
toxic and a total waste of time.
No. 349137
>>349134Imagine enabling the kind of people that make dating culture
toxic…
No. 349141
>>349140"Anon" is being hostile for no reason, if someone ghosts/cuts contact/other questionable behavior, it's not necessarily 100% the other's fault. Some people don't know what they want, some people are just looking for the thrill, some are bicurious, some are plain weird, have attachment issues, whatever.
This is not the first time I see it. I noticed that "some anons" ITT love being cunts to anons expressing any kind of annoyance towards some women's behavior in dating/relationships. If the same post had been posted in the standard dating apps thread, and the match was a moid, the response would've been very different.
I don't usually pay attention to this stuff but some anons here seem to jump at the opportunity to shit on other anons. I know it's lolcow, but damn.
No. 349143
>>349141She wasn't blaming the anon, though. If you got ghosted because someone thought they met a better deal, that's not your fault at all. It's simply how it is with dating apps, unfortunately. Anon wasn't cruel to point that out. Sometimes you just need to hear it how it is, and, well, this is an anonymous imageboard. Would you rather we all lie to each other and create a cosy lil hugbox? I also don't see how a straight woman would necessarily get a different response in this situation either. You're making a mountain out of a molehill and the nice and caring schtick doesn't really work when you're calling other women cunts; but hey, you do you. Also, I'm not that anon. I swear, if you're not being accused of being other anons, you're being accused of being a moid on here lately, kek. No wonder lolcow is dying.
No. 349148
>>349143Idk who is who but what anon said is "they got a better deal" (not "they think they got a better deal") and "you gave them the ick" (TikTok meme word). That is blaming.
I don't know what you're talking about with the "nice and caring shtick". I criticize dating app culture because it's inherently
toxic, stunts communication and promotes seeing people as numbers, puts people through constant rejection and other great stuff. Just wanted to post a mini vent and maybe talk about it.
No. 349169
>>349148I'm
>>349134 and I did not mean that post to be a critique of you or whatever but you are coming across as really self-important right now so maybe I should have meant it that way.
No. 349437
>>349119>>349096So true
nonnie. Honestly lesbians face so much scrutiny when it comes to what we are and aren't allowed to enjoy. Whether it's general hobbies, sports or even sex, we're put into strict boxes. As long as a woman is exclusively attracted to other women, she is a lesbian. I don't care what hobbies she has- including reading or creating yaoi.
>>349088I relate so much with the crushes thing. My first crush was at 11 with my best friend at the time. I never really understood the hype around boys that my friends raved about. I genuinely thought everyone was pretending to have crushes on boys because that's what we were expected to do. I cringe looking back when I used to lie about having a boyfriend or a crush on whatever boy was considered popular so I wouldn't feel like a freak. Things are different now but man. It took being in a relationship with a boy I found unattractive and repulsive to finally come to terms with my sexuality. It didn't matter what I did, I just couldn't be attracted to any man. I had several crushes on women since and have been so much happier being out.
I'd say I'm looking for a gf but I hate my body so much. I'm trying to lose weight but this shit is hard for me. I feel like I'm not worthy of a gf until I look better.
No. 349458
>>349437In general, I think lesbians are more accepting of different bodies and the 'beauty standard' isn't quite as stifling as it is with straight people. Before I knew I was gay, I had guys straight up tell me I needed to lose weight even when I was a healthy BMI kek. But women have been attracted to me throughout all my weight fluctuations. Likewise, all sizes of women can be attractive to me. I don't have an "ideal" image or body in my head when I think of a desirable partner. I consider her personality, attitude, values, goals, interests, etc. much more important. Appearance can act as the catalyst but it's not the thing that will keep you in a loving relationship. And like
>>349452 mentioned, a good girlfriend will support you and not shame you for being x amount of pounds overweight.
No. 349487
File: 1695246318554.png (92.55 KB, 976x454, retard.png)
>>349482In addition to
>>349484 a lot of lesbians have internalized lesbophobia and basically just think the word is 'icky'. I think it's because "lesbian" has so many negative stereotypes and porn shit attached to it so women give up and pick a new word instead of trying to reclaim the word lesbian. I had a brief phase in high school where I called myself queer because my first exposure to the word "lesbian" was people using it as an insult (like, kids going "ew you look like a LESBIAN" when I was in grade school and didn't even understand sexuality yet) so it made me feel ashamed to call myself one. Picrel, famous lesbian singer talking about how she thinks the word is gross.