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File: 1646399327120.jpeg (120.57 KB, 680x680, threadpic.jpeg)

No. 247377

Please keep posts focused on women and female homosexuality! If you want to talk about attraction toward males it probably belongs in the bisexuality thread or questioning thread (check the catalog, they're usually not on the front page but I promise they exist!). Please ignore obvious bihet/troon/tradthot/etc rage bait as well. Running low on vintage pics so I hope retro is fine!

Topics of discussion may include but are not limited to:
>first crush?
>what’s your local lesbian scene like?
>cute stories about your gf
>favourite lesbian media? lesbian media you hate?
>coming out stories
>are there any cows you’d uhaul with?
>bitch about being lonely
>tips for coping with being lonely
>butch? femme? how do you feel about labels?
>top? bottom? how do you feel about those labels?
>what's your type?
>when did you know you were gay?
>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? which ones don’t fit you at all?
>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?
>what do you wanna be like as an old lady lesbian?
>get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etc
>best date/match? worst?
>how homophobic are your family/friends? is it woke homophobia or oldschool homophobia?
>dating app horror stories
>f/f fanfic recs (pls)
>everything we hate about every other online lesbian community

previous threads:
#1- >>>/g/132141
#2- >>>/g/174105
#3- >>>/g/200981

No. 247389

I think I need a shirt that just says butch on it

No. 247457

a bit OT, but it's so depressing to think that the "fem" girl wouldn't even be considered fem by today's pornified standards.

No. 247463

Moving to Colorado for a year. I’m so excited to go back to the bars and just vibe.

No. 247469

Why is lesbian dating so hard? I might as well be asexual.

No. 247470

File: 1646442303585.jpg (721.47 KB, 1600x2400, GettyImages-1172869546.jpg)

>>247457
Twitter would consider her full butch for wearing pants and no drag makeup. I've seen picrel described as 'butch vibes'

No. 247473

>>247469
What do you use? Are you trying tinder or irl?

No. 247495

>>247473
Not nonna, but I used tinder and tried using Her but there was so many troons I got scared off

No. 247524

when will bisexual lesbian-larping zoomer girls stop calling their crushes on men "comphet crushes"

No. 247543

>>247469
>>247495
Fuck same, nonas. started using tinder and her a couple days ago and god damn, So many obviously straight, quirky doe "bisexuals" who all think lesbian relations are just holding hands and making retarded tiktok's. The rest are either troons or he/they-lets. And for fuck's sake is everyone on this goddamn planed a fucking "pillow princess"?! I hope that one day we will find peace…

No. 247569

I wasn't into the online lesbian scene/community for years and now seeing it, it makes me incredibly sad that lesbian culture is now just ugly ass "cottagecore" bullshit and Mitski like for fuck's sake, you zoomers only like her and her mediocre music because she's an Asian woman and you're a fetishistic faggot.

No. 247573

>>247569
if not Mitski it's Hozier or Harry Styles who are even more mediocre but bihet LARPers claim them as their "comphet crushes"

No. 247574

>>247569
I don't think that online lesbian spaces were much more better in the past, maybe less overrun by trains but imo there never was a high quality stuff. Basically don't beat yourself up too hard for not being involved earlier.
>>247573
if these women are going to embarrass themselves by simping for a man, they could have at least choose someone who is not offensive to look at.

No. 247576

>>247569

She has a nice voice but I'm not sure if it's just the studio quality reverb or her voice anymore. It's clear 90% of TikTokers only like her bcuz stanning POC because they're POC = good uwu and as an Asian this genuinely gives me the creeps.

>>247573

Why do these people claim that Hozier's music is perfect for lesbians like…he's a man kek.

No. 247579

My unpopular opinion is that the more research I do on old school butch-femme subculture the more I dislike it and am glad we (mostly) evolved past that.

No. 247588

>>247470
I'm so bitter about the "women in suits" trend because I've always worn a suit to all occasions since I was 15 and been considered a freak for it, now you got all these kinsey 1 women having girlcrushes on top supermodels wearing pantsuits and calling it being a lesbian.

>>247524
Soon I hope nonna

>>247579
Don't think so, we just moved to "two femmes or two they/thems" instead and killed butches off completely.

No. 247590

>>247588
I mean lots of old school butches and femmes also looked down on butch/butch couples sadly

No. 247657

>>247576

Just studio reverb. Also yeah, it feels like they only like her and other current artists these days for those minority supporting woke points, that or K-Pop girl groups. Worse are the ones who go "mitski > therapy" like just fucking kill yourself already.

No. 247685

>>247543
Oh my god, honestly I found myself having no choice but to hook up with pillow princesses and honestly I feel I was maybe used for the gay experience. The only time I really ever experienced another switch/ top was a butch truck driver who was probably a bit too old for me but kek

No. 247704

File: 1646537164426.jpg (Spoiler Image,147.1 KB, 1200x1032, pillowprincesslogic.jpg)

>>247685
The pillow princess discourse drives me nuts. Like obviously women are entitled to their boundaries and nobody should be forced but literally everyone except stone tops wants a partner that reciprocates and that’s not predatory or entitled. Even the mildest criticism of it gets you branded a predatory lesbian who wants to literally assault them. If a het male refuses to reciprocate because pussy is icky we’re allowed to call it dumb and make jokes about it.

No. 247711

>>247569
they like her because she makes music for break up/sad girl playlists. her lyrics are like instagram poems.

No. 247733

>>247704
My ex was like that, and it genuinely traumatized me. I made her cum like seven times, and when I asked if I could get something too, she just looked fucking disgusted. I started crying, she called me overdramatic and a rapist. This is just one example but it happened so many times. Ironically she was the ""butch"" in the relationship, you would think it was the other way around.

I know it's stupid but it kind of made me give up on women ever finding me attractive.

No. 247734

>>247733
Also as a clarification, I do not think the level of femininity is correlated to your pillow princessness, just the stereotypes people usually have. Like the "stone butch" label, is there even a "stone femme" one (=a femme who does not want sexual things done to her)?

No. 247736

>>247704
Fat men being lazy in bed too, shocking? No. Not really.
>>247733
It's not about you being attractive or not, your gf was just selfish and even mentally ill. Calling you a rapist whenever you disagree or want some attention is such a low blow and quite retarded since women can't really be rapists, no I don't care whatever anyone thinks it's just almost impossible. I hope you find someone that values you and cares about your pleasure

No. 247737

>>247736

What would your definition of rape be then? Would a woman who forcibly penetrates or touches the genitalia of someone who doesn't consent to it not be rape?

No. 247739

>>247737
Your gf asking something from you in bed isn't rape, her going on and doing the thing without asking and keeping on even when you tell her to stop or freeze up is rape. My opinion.

No. 247740

>>247739

You said "women can't really be rapists" as a general statement kek.

No. 247741

>>247740
>since women can't really be rapists, no I don't care whatever anyone thinks it's just almost impossible.
>almost impossible
I said almost impossible because rapes committed by women barely make %1 of actual rapes and even then it's usually because some teachers slept with a male student who was 16-17 which are absolutely terrible but nowhere nearly as violent and damaging as sexual crimes men commit which are so violent they usually cause permanent physical damage to women's health.

No. 247742

>>247740
Also are you a man or a newfag who discovered this site from reddit? Your writing style in both >>247737 and >>247740 really stick out and it's easy to tell you from other anons because you don't interrogate. I thought you were the original anon at first and tried the assure you you it isn't rape to ask your gf for something you want to try in bed but your talking points make you sound like a pickme or a mra crying women rape too who has no place posting in a lesbian thread.

No. 247752

>>247736
Yeah I know logically it's not me not being attractive (I know my ex was not some "sex bomb" on societys standards but I found her hot anyway).

I just feel like it's impossible to find a woman who likes my body as much as I like hers. I don't know if it's fetisization but I am constantly telling a gf how pretty and lovely and beautiful aaah she is because I genuinely think so, and always handsy with her body because I like female body so much…. Basically with women I'm like a teenage hormonal moid, idk what the hell is wrong with me. I have just never met a woman who likes me the way I do her, I feel like a freak. I even tried drinking spearmint tea to tone my libido down last time since it's so annoying.

Spoiler moid mention;
And I did basically give up, and I know it's haram (please do not strangle me) I did find someone who is excited by my body the way I am about women, a fucking moid. But now I do not feel anything like I did with women, I do not feel anything at all. That's why I am puzzled if my attraction to women is just a learned thing from scrotes, some fetishy stuff from porn. I do not know if it's normal to be so obsessed with women.

No. 247753

>>247752
Another add on to my post but I'm posting my waah woe is me whining just because I do not know any lesbians at all, I have no idea if it's normal to be this obsessed with women or are some lesbians like this too. Like I love eating pussy goddamn, bit if there is so many pillow princess lesbians not willing to touch a pussy then ???

No. 247754

>>247752
Well straight women are obsessed with men's bodies and admire their bfs so why would you being the same way with a woman be learnt behavior or a fetish? People are supposed to feel sexual attraction towards their partners and its normal, although women and especially lesbians are berated for it. Being in a lesbian relationship isn't a tiktok cottagecore dream where you only look at a woman's face and barely hold hands and giggle with each other. Yeah men have an easier time expressing their attraction but the women you've been with just sound like they weren't actually lesbians or perhaps they were shamed for their attraction. To add on, I'm sure you're beautiful if you found a man that thinks so and is obsessed with you since men have higher standards. Also don't overthink labels, you surely don't have to force yourself to be with a woman if you're happy with your bf and if you're unsure you could just try it out for a bit. I don't think you're going to get advice on the bf situation here but you could maybe post in the bi thread to see if someone has similar experiences where they're mostly interested in women but the relationship with men tend to be easier.

No. 247756

File: 1646559924863.jpg (7.33 KB, 275x183, peebooba.jpg)

>>247754
>men have higher standards
kek nonna

And obviously not looking for advise with muh naigell! Just do lesbians feel they are the embodiment of picrel too

Maybe I'm a man on the inside, time to go on T uguu

No. 247761

>>247756
There's a questioning thread in the catalog btw, you would probably get better responses there. But you're not a man on the inside you're just sexually attracted to women, that's how I feel about female bodies too. You just feel weird about it because lesbian communities are overrun with cottagecore uwu Kinsey 1 bisexuals.

No. 247762

>>247752
In my experience a lot of lesbians have had a lesbian relationship that traumatized them, more often than not it's being a servant to an unstable pillow princess who mentally abuses them and makes them feel like rapist for having normal sexual needs and desires. I seriously don't know why this is but so many that I've met have issues with their sexuality or fucked off to a miserable dead bedroom relationship with a moid simply because they feel too predatory for finding women attractive.

Whichever the case, it's not your fault and wanting sex with your partner you find attractive is completely acceptable. I wish I had a partner with a high libido, it feels like finding lesbians or febfems who aren't shamed into borderline asexuality is impossible.

No. 247766

>>247762
I wonder if the rise in acceptance of lesbianism has actually helped or hurt the lesbian community more. Since now women barely into women want to get into relationships with them, since being straight is boring and all women know men mostly suck

No. 247770

>>247470
They’re probably wrong in using “butch” since butch = lesbian but Zendaya definitely has a more masculine different vibe to her. I’m not sure if there’s a word that describes the way she carries herself outside of “somewhat masculine woman” even if she does have long hair.

No. 247771

>>247569
The lesbian (and bi woman) scene was always horrible, at least on tumblr. It always felt like one grand performance you didn’t miss out on anything. It’s marginally better or I’m just a Mitski simp.

No. 247797

>>247770
Androgynous? Some of her looks have more masculine elements like suits but she always wears make up and generally looks feminine.

No. 247813

>>247770
tomboy?

No. 247815

>>247752
I'm sorry about what happened to you, but this is the lesbian thread. Better to take this talk to the bisexual/questioning thread

No. 247817

>>247815
Ntayrt she posted this 6 hours ago and it's been settled.

No. 247819

>>247815
Not trying to start any fights but I posted it specifically here to get opinions from the pussy fandom. Ok now that I wrote it out I do sound like a troon trying to force my way into a women's locker room.

I just saw "pillow princess" in the first page of /ot/ and got TrIgGeRed and just HAD to post my sob story, I'm sorry, I should not have.

No. 247840

Besides being lightskinned, how is the woman in the middle "fem" exactly? She looks exactly like the other two women she's standing next to. Are they seriosuly implying she's more feminine because of her skintone? Jesus

Mods don't ban me for racebait, we're allowed to discuss stuff like this

No. 247842

>>247840
That's textbook racebaiting nonnie.

No. 247844

>>247842
Am i not even allowed to point that out? Jfc ive been here for like 4 years lmao i obviously know the rules. I'm not trying to bait

No. 247846

>>247840
Maybe in behaviour/demeanor? We don't know anything about these women outside from this picture. Sure, I too have noticed colorism even in lesbian communities and patterns of conflating dark skin with butchness even when it is not the case. But I don't think there's any point in getting worked up over one photo that we do not even know its full context.

No. 247848

>>247844
First of all I'm pretty sure nobody forced her to put on that shirt and that's simply her identifying as a femme, maybe she dresses in OTT frilly dresses outside of this photo to pass as femme by zoomer lesbian standards, we don't know. Secondly, does she even have lighter skin? Looks the same to me as the girls in the front, only she's wearing a white shirt and standing in the sun while the others are wearing black and have more shadows on their faces. It's a black and white photo so it's impossible to tell.

>>247846
It's such a retarded thing to get so worked up over anyway because like you said we know nothing about the context of this photo and I think it's in extremely poor taste to bring racebait brainrot in the lesbian thread of all places. There's a reason why it's a banned topic on Lolcow, it always ends up in infighting and uncontrolled spergery. Like someone thinking you can't be a femme if you're wearing a sleeveless shirt and jeans in one photo unless racism.

No. 247857

>>247762
I don't know any other lesbians but this has been my experience to a T with my exes. Bi but prefers men, none of them interested in reciprocating, all of them abusive and making me feel like a predatory freak for wanting them sexually, and the relationships ending and I feel like I'm gross and unloveable as I watch them go on to date men. I have never been with a woman who desired me as I desired her. I hope one day I'll find another butch who can love me the same way I would love her. Where do we even find each other nowadays? It's all bisexuals and trannies.

No. 247858

>>247857
not to be a bi apologist but the anon originally complaining about their ex not reciprocating was bi (i guess?)

No. 247860

>>247840
if you look closer, the femme is obviously wearing makeup and her hair is considerably more stylized compared to the self proclaimed butch women in the pic

To be fair,I get the confusion - the butch on the right doesn't show any particular masculine qualities at all - maybe she was a baby butch just starting out?

No. 247886

>>247762
>In my experience a lot of lesbians have had a lesbian relationship that traumatized them, more often than not it's being a servant to an unstable pillow princess who mentally abuses them and makes them feel like rapist for having normal sexual needs and desires.

then how strange that lesbians are so obsessed with hating each other and bisexual women. why are we all so miserable anons?

No. 247898

I'm just so fucking sick of (mostly) bi women or more like het women larping as bi who all seem to view same sex relations as only some sort of trend/fad for the aesthetics. There's also a lot of women who identify as lesbians more out of disliking men and less because they are attracted to other women. It's always some strange chaste hyperfem cutesy hand holding bff-like thing as if we're not real people who love and lust the same as any others do. I can't shake the feeling that I'm being used for my sexuality as some sort of prop and that I'll never be someones real lover. Maybe it's just a zoomer problem and hopefully things get better as we all grow and mature.

No. 247902

>>247898
oh god, reading this back and it sounds almost like an incel rant. That was not my intention, I'm just sad and lonely

No. 247906

>>247902
You don’t sound like an incel anon, don’t worry. I’m straight and even I know what you mean. I also know that you just unfortunately haven’t met the right person yet. You exist, so there are definitely real lesbians/bisexuals out there who will love you properly.

No. 247907

>>247898
Don't worry, I feel you. Like goddamn I just want a wife who I can love and cherish but also motorboat her boobas and give her a million orgasms, not hold hands in a bonnet

No. 247944

>>247898
yeah you do sound kind of incely but it’s a modern problem of dating more than anything that you need to hate other women for. modern dating is shittier than ever

No. 247948

>>247902
>>247898
Don't worry nonna, I think a lot of people here can relate, especially non-femmes. Personally I was haunted by all the times I was told "I would totally date you if you were a man" by bihets to the point I waited until I was in my 30's to even consider serious dating because at that age most cottagecore aesthetic "lesbians" have been weeded out. But on the other hand I've missed out on relationships and it's depressing how much experience I lack compared to the women who dated through their young adulthood.

No. 247962

>>247470
I know there are gay rumors about Zendaya but I never understood why, is this why? Because she wore a suit and her character on Euphoria fucked an MTF?

No. 247989

>>247907

>motorboat her boobas

Best thing I've heard today, same nonna

>>247962
Yep and basically any woman who talks about woman empowerment or advocates even the slightest towards having women in a strong position within society is now a "lesbian/wuhluhwuh icon uwu"

No. 248041

>TIFs still have XX chromosomes and female socialization!!
>FTMs have always been an important part of lesbian history!!
>why do you hate dysphoric and gender noncomforming women??
And I'll still never touch a FTM with a 10 foot pole, seethe. Sure, definitely not as bad as MTF trannies forcing their way inside lesbian communities where they've never belonged, but radlet TIFs and their entitlement are getting on my nerves. God forbid other lesbians don't worship your mentally ill self-loathing ass. "I know I'm biologically female and a lesbian but don't call me a woman teehee" fuck off.

No. 248042

>>247898
How does it affect you though? Dont date bi women then. I swear lesbian incels are crazy. I bet youve never even personally talked to any of these people or got to know them.

No. 248044

>>247962
Zendaya gives off lesbian vibes. She has no chemistry with men and in an interview the lady asked her ideal type of men or something and she kept using the world “people”. Aint no way shes not a lesbian.

No. 248046

>>247470
Zendaya is a tomboy and her character barely uses makeup. She has stud energy

No. 248047

>>248046
i'd say more stem than stud but yes lol

No. 248166

A high school friend of mine gave me gifts while we were in school and friends. A cake, teddy bear and chocolate at different times and different years. I didn't know I was a lesbian then, so I missed my chance to at least ask if she was giving me hints or if this was a strange cultural difference between us, as I never gave her any gifts back, except for a goodie bag I sent all my friends during COVID. Being Autistic didn't help any, and she was kind of spergy too, but not as bad. I could've had it all. Feels bad nonnas.

No. 248193

I've had a crush on my coworker who's also lesbian for around eight months but I don't think I have a shot. She also knows I'm lesbian too, but I think she's just friendly to me. I try to flirt by telling her she's cute, but I get lukewarm reactions. I also cannot tell for the life of me if she has a gf or not. I should just move on and download Tinder at this point kek

No. 248391

>>248166

Aw it's okay nonna. May you get that perfect chance one day.

>>248041

Same with "non-binary lesbians". I don't get it. I thought the definition of lesbian was a "homosexual woman".

No. 248480

Anyone else see the tiktoks of that one fake lesbian song by avenue beat? It’s the “lesbians” of tiktok time to shine but the song is based talking about them.

No. 248644

How would you react if a woman told you she realised she wasn't straight after hearing I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry?

No. 248654

>>248644

Depends. If it's a clear trendy zoomer or something then I'd tell em to fuck off. If she explains and describes kissing girls or something maybe I'll take it kek

No. 248655

>>248391

Sorry for samefag just now but lesbian apparently means "non man loving non man" now. So basically bisexual nonbinaries count as lesbians according to that logic.

No. 248770

File: 1646932979230.jpg (104.7 KB, 750x738, 1582797344184.jpg)

I really need to go into dating since I'm in early college. All the lesbian girls are either ocd-autistic which I hate or giga normies. I get along well with east asian student since I like to teach them my language, but you can never know things about their love life. I was thinking about finding a girlfriend trought hobbies/fandoms but I know I will only find genderspecial or ultra autistic ones like in the past. Please nonnas help

No. 248779

>>248770
RIP sorry but that's basically all there is nowadays. Why don't you just go for normies? They're easier to deal with.
Also as a fellow autismo I'd like to know where you find non tranny autismo lesbians bc I've never met one who didn't eventually turn into a he/they.

No. 248794

>>248779
thank u anon for that hard fact. I never go for the normies since most of them are boring or non passionate about any subject or worst lazy rich meanies (fashion school in a nutshell).
Yeah I was surprised too by the autistic cis lesbian but they are quite normie-ish and into feminist politics and common lgbt stuff.
honestly I would like either a funny normie girl or a girl who as clear interest and are not OCD about everything ( I'm a fellow autist too but like I learn not to flip my shit it someone take a little too much space when we are working on bulky stuff ).
Funny thing, this evening I crossed a probably korean girl from my school near it and she kept making eye contact while her friend where talking. Idk if it was because I was carrying a fabric roll but it was so strange.

No. 248798

>>248794
To piggyback I feel like I've been meme'd into only noticing girls into alt styles or have colorful short haircuts bc my mind instantly thinks 'Oh she could be "qweer"' even if that just means they are bihet with bfs. Also I think a lot of time these girls are too young for me (like still in highshool). I don't take notice to most normie looking girls because I always assume she's probably straight. Honestly a shame I feel like I'm missing out on some hidden gems.

No. 248817

>>248779

I feel ya anon. Also lot of them troon out because their autism makes them feel out of place in society but they mistake it as a gender thing. That or other issues, and it's honestly sad. I remember liking this girl and starting a slight relationship with her back in 2020, then she ghosted everyone for three months and then came back a he/aer troon. I wanted to kms tbh.

No. 248922

>>248042
You need to learn what the word incel means before using it as an insult just because a lesbian said something mean and hurt your feefees.

No. 248960

>>247906
She 100% sounded like an incel though
>straight
go away
>>248922
She literally admitted she sounded like an incel but sure

No. 249015

>>248960
Nobody here values your shit bait, get your ass out.

No. 249027

Nonnas am I the only one who hates the word "sapphic"? Probably because it's been taken over by TikTok zoomers and Twittertards now, but I never liked the concept of it. Pretty sure Sappho was bisexual too.

No. 249029

>>249027
I do hate it for the exact same reason but I'd say you can't really be sure she was bisexual (or lesbian) because we barely have complete poems from her, instead we work with "fragments". Sometimes we can't tell the sexuality of actresses from our generation so it's not like anything could confirm Sappho's. It's a fight I personally wouldn't join.

No. 249045

>>248770
i'm about to graduate and in the same boat as you lol i'm so sorry. i'm too weird to get along with normies but too normie to get along with the genderspecials
>>248798
honestly i think i'm finally going to suck it up and adopt an alt look for this exact reason. most of my interests match anyway so it wouldn't really be larping. i think i'm coming across as like a horse girl or something right now
>>249027
i've hated it since its inception. kinda seems like it's going out of style though

No. 249055

>>248960
Go back to Twitter or Reddit.

>>249027
Not just you. Even when it wasn't a TikTok, Tumblr or Twitter thing it always irked me the wrong way. What's so wrong about saying lesbian or attraction to women that they had to come up with this?

>>249045
>too weird to get along with normies but too normie to get along with the genderspecials

Ah, same here nonna, sorry about that. One day, hopefully.

No. 249088

>>249027
I think it's a convenient way to refer to women primarily attracted to women instead of saying "lesbians and female-oriented bisexuals" or something, but it's definitely gained notoriety as a tranny dogwhistle which is disappointing. "WLW" sounds like a fanfiction tag so I'm averse to it kek

No. 249114

Can us nonnas just date each other tbh?

>>249088
Holey shit that is the best description of the term ngl. So that's why I never liked being called a wlw…

No. 249205

Do you think that all women who believe in that compulsory heterosexuality/identifying as whatever you feel like despite contradictions bullshit are all bisexual or do you think some lesbians? Like do you think it could be possible being fully gay is an easier pill to swallow if you believe you’re making a personal or political choice?

No. 249237

>>249205
maybe there is something to "comphet," i don't really know/haven't looked much into it but i do think people tend to take it too far and say they're lesbians with comphet because for whatever reason they don't want to say they're bi with a preference for women. maybe part of this is due to internalized biphobia and not having enough bisexual representation for bi women who prefer women. with the rise of troonacy the definitions of lesbian and bisexual have become blurred by certain groups because the truthful definitions of being exclusively attracted to women and attracted to both sexes offend them. i wouldn't call being fully gay an easier pill to swallow, more like just a different way some people cope with being same sex attracted in a homophobic world.

No. 249256

>>249027
nta but another word i hate that's all over tiktok is queerplatonic. "something in between friendship and romance" just say friends with benefits ffs.

No. 249258

>>249256
it's even stupider than that, it just means two kweerios who are friends with each other

No. 249267

>>247762
Oh god that is one of my worst nigthmares, being tricked by a bpdchan who tries to gaslight me into thinking that i'm evil for having normal human needs. I used to be a butch so even worse.

No. 249270

>>249256
I think they use it because "friends with benefits" usually doesn't mean you're genuinely friends. Just that you have one person who you regularly do casual hookups with instead of one night stands with lots of different people. Someone who will only text you in the middle of the night, instead of someone who is also actually your best friend.

No. 249347

>>249205
I believe I experienced "comphet" when I was a teen, as I would convince myself I was into men, but I would suddenly get uncomfortable and turned off once I had a real guy being interested in me in person. Slowly realized I had actually been a lesbian all along, and that's why I could never bring myself to date, kiss or get intimate with a man, even though in my head I would think about having a husband one day (this all prior to realizing I was a lesbian). I believe that was comphet.
But if someone has no issues being intimate with a man and they cry comphet, she's just a fraud.

No. 249389

Nonnas are there any lesbian spaces open for terfs these days

No. 249512

>>249347
This is the only way in which comphet is real and it's often not even a thing girls in the west experience unless they had some strong conservative influence or total lack of gay rolemodels.

No. 249543

Nonas how do you deal with lesbian loneliness? I feel so isolated and alone, I'm butch so I'm always doubly the odd one out as well. Everyone is straight and if they're not they're bisexuals with boyfriends, and I can't exactly openly advertise myself looking for other lesbians since our spaces have been replaced by trans groups and you get ostracized and beaten up for crimes of tervery if you don't play along. I don't understand where I can find other lesbians. Someone recommended women's sports but I suck at that, and I only meet straight girls at the gym. Like I said I'm butch and would be easy to recognize by fellow lesbians but it's like there are none around where I live and I feel so alone. It hurts. I'm so tired of living like a lonely shadow.

No. 249554

>>249543
It's fucking hard, I feel for you nona. How to meet normal lesbians has been addressed many times in the past threads so do check out the older posts on the topic. TL;DR is be in a city, use HER/bumble etc but swipe left on anyone even remotely annoying while including dogwhistles on your bio, go to meetups and suck it up. You have to sift through the annoying genderfucks and spicy hets if you want to meet real lesbians. It's just how it is and fixating on the challenging aspect will only have you sinking deeper into isolation.

It's easy as fuck to get bitter (I was bitter for a long time too) but you can't bring that energy into your new friendships as an opener. Sharing woes is great when you're a bit deeper into the friendship but don't establish them on doomertalk imo. Also, sometimes people seem like turbolibs with all sorts of qweer ideology but most of them only have a surface attitude in favor of it, due to ignorance/apoliticalness. You can easily talk to them about specific issues and find out most of them have no clue about the TRA behavior. For instance I'm in a mega-lib city and none of the lesbians I met think you have to like girldick as a lesbian, just that you ought to treat transwomen as women in daily life which is not a big ask. We already do that IRL in order to avoid altercation lol. The ones I deepened my friendships all only date "afabs" and are often horrified at the sick shit "terf" women go through. I've mostly been pleasantly surprised with the women I've met, though I was very picky with who I spent time meeting in person. Btw you can totally only swipe right on lesbians and express that you want to meet other lesbians in your bio, nobody will lynch you for that. Just don't tell people the reason you're excluding them (like when a bi/troon wants to be friends) and focus on the positive. You want to bond with other lesbians. Nobody is owed an explanation for that, trust me.

If you're serious about ending your isolation, you're gonna have to work pretty hard and keep motivated. I believe you can do it, though I know how hard it is first hand. Good luck out there.

No. 249578

does anyone know what happened to maxineharlow?

No. 249588

>>249578
No, I don't follow her so I didn't even know she'd disappeared. What do people think happened?

No. 249590

>>249543
I definitely feel the loneliness. I'm an unapologetic weeb and 10 years ago it was as easy as just walking to a convention group to find other lesbians or bisexuals to hang out with but now so many of them have trooned out or started dating men out of convenience, it's much easier to introduce a boyfriend to your parents. The rare "lesbians" (or at least those that identify as one) are underage yuri manga addicts or straight out transbians. I don't like hanging around normie style lesbians either because I'm an autistic nerd so dating apps or meetups just don't work for me as I genuinely can't connect with them. It would be nice to talk to someone about the woes of growing up a GNC lesbian and the baggage that it bears but the well-adjusted ones who have been dating the same girl since high school just don't understand where I'm coming from. The only people who seem to get it are those who identify as nonbinary transmasc genderspecials and they coped with it by picking up he/him pronouns instead.

Related but I'm more of a tomboy than a butch, due to this my coworkers don't clock me as a lesbian so they feel comfortable spilling out their homophobia and/or butchphobia in my presence. It's depressing to listen to jokes about ugly bulldykes and lesbians in general so instead of diving head first into conflict and making things awkward for everyone I just try to reason with them a bit and change the subject as fast as I can. Hearing peoples' unfiltered antigay statements like that makes me want to unironically rope.

No. 249697

>>249590
Tbh, i think back then in weeb circles being bisexual or a lesbian was a trend. Almost every girl was “i am bi :3 teehee girls are cute”. When you hang out with them, did you date any? Did any had actual serious same sex relationships that wasnt just hand holding? I don’t trust weebs even one minute. They all were just straight girls trying to look interesting to others

No. 249787

>>249578
What happened as in why does she not post often or??? I love her pls say sike.

No. 249822

>>249590
I feel this as someone who has been a geek my whole life. It sucks more when the actual lesbians or bi women that are around my age in these circles are either in a long term relationship already or they trooned out as an early midlife crisis (I can tolerate lesbian TIF/genderspecials as friends as long as gender politics don't come up, but they always inevitably foam at the mouth over JKR or whatever and I sure as fuck wouldn't date one). Sometimes I wish I came out a decade earlier since at least actual gay people in my hobbies were legit and not bored straight people.

No. 249960

>>249543
God, yes, I feel this so hard. It's so difficult. Every single woman I meet that I click with is straight or bisexual and taken, and all lesbians I meet don't mesh well with me… and then the bisexuals who aren't taken are always genderspecials or anti-terf. Sometimes I wonder if I really will be alone, and part of me wishes I could magically turn myself bi and date a man. It's so tough.

No. 250090

>>249960
>part of me wishes I could magically turn myself bi and date a man. It's so tough.
That's hella funny because a man will also not mesh well with you even if you were attracted to one.

No. 250248

I'm a tall sporty dyke. I've always played sport and have gone to the gym since I was 12. I'm 135lbs at 5'10 but always shock people with my strength. I play sport and feel like a bully. Like I'm too strong and too rough despite being non-confrontational, quiet and socially anxious in general and would never intentionally hurt anybody.

Hard to explain but I feel like I get punished for being physical and strong because of my sexuality. idk. I wish there was a safe outlet

No. 250252

>>250090
NTA but before I became more politically/feminist aware I used to be able to mesh with guys as friends, but not being into the moid aspect made feelings impossible, and I hated myself for that. I don't seek male friends anymore since my last male friends inevitably revealed themselves as coomers (which I guess is why if I woke up bi tomorrow I likely wouldn't date a man without extreme vetting, but past libfem me would) but I hate how it's easier to find a not completely hideous guy my age with similar dorky interests to drink with than a woman who is those things

>>249960
At this point I'd love to meet a GC/Febfem bi woman but a lot of bi women within my interests or on apps are woke "pansexuals", she/theys, have a boyfriend and want a gf on the side…Even rural areas have queerios on the outskirts

No. 250336

>>250248
You genuinely sound beautiful nonna, crush me, kek.

No. 250339

>>250252
You replied to a moid.

No. 250357

>>250339
Okay, well, I couldn't tell because it gave me pinkpiller vibes more than scrote vibes and at least I saged it lmao

No. 250369

>>250339
I hope you don't mean me just because I said a woman too political to mesh with fellow lesbians can somehow get with a man and be at peace.

No. 250438

>>249590
Late, yes yes, but I relate to you immensely. It's hard to find women with the same fixated interests as you once you're 30+.

No. 250968

A coworker I have said she was lesbian in some conversation we had. When I asked her about it she clarified she ment she's into both, bisexual. She's cute and if nothing else I was hoping to have friendship since lesbians here or in general have become so scarce. Her laptop is decorated with feminist stickers but she already likes one of our male workers. I wish bisexual women would just be more straight up about being bisexual than saying they're lesbian. It's not the same especially in the current world where we can't say we want a biological xx woman. I'm happy to not be interested in men but other days I think about how much easier (and more dangerous) it is to just marry some well off guy then live with him.

No. 250973

>>249205
>>249237
when i realized i liked women i thought i had liked men because of comphet. in my experience it does seem to be easier to be one or the other instead of trying to explain you are bi with a preference for women. so in a way I get it for newly bisexual or questioning women. however, i know a lot of straight women who use it to explain why they suddenly overnight have an interest for women when they've exclusively slept with or dated men.

sage for blogpost

No. 251041

no hate against bi women but it’s so disorientating when “lesbians” in radfem spaces realise they’re bi. like some of them spent hours a day arguing with tras about how they’re not attracted to males regardless of what gender they say they are, that lesbians don’t like dick and then they realise they’re bi and invariably get a boyfriend and started posting about having sex with that guy and how good it is. it’s kind of funny but also a curious phenomenon.

obviously not every former lesbian identifying bi woman immediately gets a boyfriend but i understand why it does happen - because they met some guy who awoke the opposite sex attraction within them i guess

No. 251045

>>251041
lol I follow a couple personal cows on radblr who have done this. It's funny because it's always the most loud, outspoken, aggressive 'lesbians' who do it. I get that sexuality is tough to figure out and I don't have anything against bi women who assume they're not into men because they haven't met an attractive one yet. But there's this very specific demographic of bi women who flock to radfem spaces and spend 50% of the year posting about how wonderful Nigel is and 50% of the year melting down about how they're really valid lesbians for real and we're all goldstar incels for questioning it.

No. 251052

>>251045
>the most loud, outspoken, aggressive 'lesbians' who do it

and funnily, this is where the most vehement biphobia comes from as well. which just proves to me that biphobic lesbians are projecting onto people who are perfectly comfortable being bi.

No. 251060

>>251041
Well, straight out of Dworkin's playbook in some cases. What lesbian even spends hours of her life arguing with a tranny on tumblr and ruminates on dicks? They're just traumatized hets.

No. 251257

nonnas I just feel so sad and alone all the time. It doesn’t help that I live in a majorly homophobic country so it’s hard as it is to find lesbians to talk to. I just feel like at this point I’m going to die alone and I wish so much that I find some guy who I end up being attracted to because at least it’s better than being alone. But I know even that is never happening because I’m literally not interested in any men irl around me. The only men I find attractive are like celebrities. As soon as a guy shows interest in me I feel like throwing up and can’t imagine being with him, even if he’s nice and attractive. I’m pretty sure I’m a lesbian but all these feelings are seriously fucking me up.

No. 251300

>>251257
Please just use the questioning sexuality thread, I beg you.

No. 251343

>>251052
Then all of the posters in this thread are bi by your logic.

No. 251381

>>247495
It's crazy how fast things have changed, i met my gf like three years ago on tinder, and back then you'd only see them every so often but now they're everywhere
I can't imagine what it would look like if I were to go in tinder rn, i think I would quickly give up ngl

No. 251472

>>247579
I think people go with the dynamics they're most familiar and comfortable with, which explains the subculture.

I don't know if this is naive but I do think most relationships have a decision maker/doer and then someone who lets the other person do stuff.

>>251381
Is a safer bet using fansites for girls love/manhwa/yuri? i just feel like at least you have something to talk about already if it's a hobby site, it's not upfront, it's less awkward, but you could meet girls like you there.

i know most shoujo ai/gl weeb spaces are full of men, but i think manhwa are at least more likely to be created and appreciated by women.

No. 251621

>>251472
Korean and Chinese wlw is definitely more of a female space.

No. 252074

Bi women have traumatized me into celibacy. I don't know any lesbians or febfems, so I guess I'll just be on my own now.

No. 252081

>>250438
I would kill if there was some kind of private forum or app or whatever for non-"normie" lesbians 25-30+ who want to find similar and aren't kinky queer liberals too. The women my age I'm attracted to find that stuff silly (which is their right of course but it leads to us not being compatible) and the ones who are that I see on apps are super immature, gendery/postmodernist, unattractive (I'm still dorky but I take a shower and wear fitting clothes at least lmao)… I know I can't afford to be picky so I'd be okay with someone who isn't interested in nerdy stuff but respects it, but at this point I'll stay alone…

No. 252227

>>252081
If you’re a lesbian looking for another lesbian, the chances are small. If you’re looking for another lesbian who likes the same stuff as you? Very difficult. I sometimes think you can have chemistry with someone you’re quite different to in interests. It’s sometimes necessary to adapt.

But yeah the internet is here so I’m sure there would be fansites to help you. What kind of nerdy stuff do you like?

No. 252250

>>252227
I agree on focusing on chemistry and not too much on hobbies. Focusing on long term life goals (family, living arrangement, job), politics, and attraction would be far more beneficial for people in my view. Hobbies/interests can be shared in time and you may even discover something new that neither one of you expected to enjoy.

But maybe that's just my bias showing because I met my girlfriend thinking we didn't have enough in common on paper and turns out, we were extremely capable of the full spectrum of being into each other's lives. I was kinda guarded on hearing about one of her hobbies for a bit but it's just sweet hearing her talk my ear off about it now. I'm not gonna participate much myself but I love seeing her happy and it's good that she has something she can share with her friends which will help her be social. I don't want to be her sole provider, even though sometimes I want to be the only person in her world from how much I love her.

Ultimately it's helped us to be a bit different.

No. 252268

How will my dumb fucking ass learn my place and stop crushing on straight girls? How? When? I get to know a girl, connect with her really well, bond over things, have great chemistry and she's straight. My heart is broken. I don't even know which is the worse option, her finding the worst moid who treats her like garbage or the best Nigel ever who can give her everything I'm incapable of simply because of my sex. I'm not at all surprised that so many young lesbians troon out because it's absolutely insufferable to be one. I've known I'm a lesbian since I was 14 but denied it for as long as I could, I tried to meme myself into dating men but they feel so foreign and unnatural to me it's impossible. I'm not even out to my family and admitting my sexuality to people is painful, I would give anything to just be reborn as a man so I could at least be in the romantic proximity of women and make her feel loved and appreciated.

I'm so tired of this, I hate being gay, I know it's such a tired old statement to bitch and moan about how much suffering it is but it truly is. The only thing I can take solace in is that at least I'm not abused by a scrote.

No. 252334

if you could choose one celebrity to come out as a lesbian who would you pick and why?

No. 252344

>>252227
>>252250
AYRT, I actually am open to being with anyone with different interests (all the women I've liked do) and prefer chemistry, it's just trying to make that happen is pulling teeth. I'm not into "fandoms" or anything anymore, more like original art/OC but those spaces are filled with "PoMos" which makes the "similar interests, not queer-politically, my age, AND attractive" like a needle in haystack. But then I'm immature compared to the more normie women my age which is why bonding over interests could be easier, in theory that is. But I also wish a 25-30+ non-queerio lesbian hobby forum or discord existed in general besides dating reasons ngl

No. 252355

>>252334
Ellen Page because it would be funny

No. 252359

>>252334
JKR for maximum drama

No. 252385

>>252344
Ok i get what you’re saying. Yeah it sounds like you’re in a difficult place and I have absolutely no advice. >>252250 had a cute anecdote though, like plenty of straight couples have different interests but one small thing they both like.

>>247569
I think I’m a little too late to seethe but she really made angsty 15 year old me feel understood with all the rage in her music.

>>252334
Amalia Holm

No. 252388

>>252359
Nah, anon. She would need to come out as non-binary or something for maximum drama. Pull a Trisha Paytas and confuse the fuck out of everyone

No. 252405

>>252359
it will just give the timmies even more ammunition to hate the tiffanies, many tims already accuse tifs of being "crypto-terfs" to keep them in line

No. 252457

>>252227
>>252250
To be honest growing up as a geek doesn't necessarily mingle with the so called normies due to the life experience typical to both demographics. I'm a functional person but have chronic depression due to being bullied for my eccentricity and ostracized and isolated to the nerd community that accepted me has affected both my character and world view to the point it's often impossible to have a meaningful relationship with someone who led an average life with its generic ups and downs. I can be cordial and make small talk with my coworkers for example and have good chemistry with them, but I would imagine them becoming frustrated at how I perceive things or even embarrassed by me liking weebshit. It's usually a normie party being judgmental.

>>252355
Ellen Page is a lesbian, isn't she? Her girlfriend dumped her just before she trooned out iirc.

No. 252490

Dumb question, but how do you get over the fear when someone finds out you're a lesbian?

I blurted it out to a coworker today that I'm gay and honest to god no one would really care, we even have an openly gay man as one of the upper team leaders so it's not like I could get in any sort of trouble. But I can't shake off the fear that something might happen since I do live in a somewhat homophobic country and lost people in the past when they found out. In general I'm comfortable with my sexuality but others knowing still makes me uncomfortable.

No. 252496

>>252457
i'm pretty sure ayrt means Ellen detransitioning and going back to calling herself a lesbian

No. 252557

>>252496
kek she would be my first choice too. detrooners aren't usually treated too kindly though but to have a celebrity detrans would certainly cause some discussion. i definitely wouldn't want jkr to come out as anything since lesbians have a hard enough time as it is without queen terf saying she's one of us.

No. 252598

are there any other places like this and /cislesgen/

No. 252605

>>251041
>>251045
not to derail but didn't terri strange do this

No. 252611

>>252605
not a lesbian but just aware of terri, and yeah, she though was an admitted "political lesbian" and then got a disgusting boyfriend who was horrific and had horrible values. like real trash, horrible person.

No. 252647

Do some women grow out of lesbianism ?

I’ve never ‘got’ men physically, never wanted them intimately even when i thought i was broken because i was supposed to! As long as I can remember having ‘special’ feelings, they’ve been for women exclusively, I only have desire for women.

But I still kind of find myself believing other people’s words. I was dealing with some self hatred and looked for some counsel from ‘traditionally minded’ people who said I just need to meet the right man, or I will grow out of it. And I hear so much about women who call themselves ‘sapphic’ and then end up with men. It makes me think that it will happen to me. I still subconsciously think I will grow out of it or be fixed by a man because that’s what I told myself for so long. Even though the idea of living life with a man seems disappointing and getting intimate with a man seems quite gross and unappealing in all cases, whereas it’s only women in my fantasies, and sometimes I find myself shipping women together, like I see shows with two women and I can’t stop thinking ‘they need to kiss rn!!!’

I just feel like a mistake, something undeveloped. Is this a normal feeling?

No. 252651

>>252647
No. You feel invalidated because some bisexual women think they're lesbians but then when they realize they're bi and can date men, tell everyone lesbianism is a phase. Again, some bi women, not all and they might not even be bi! They might be straight women who date women because they're less threatening and dump them once a man comes along. Don't let labels confuse you, date whoever you want unless you're scared it's going to put you in danger, then keep it lowkey or wait until you move to a more supportive environment. Lesbian women are the most common target for violence so if you're in an environment where you need to risk your well-being to be open keeping it a secret might be a better idea. Also most therapists don't know about lgbt stuff aside from basic tradshit or superwoke twitterthink so it might be a better idea not to base your identity off on what random people tell you.

No. 252652

>>252647
If you're questioning, bring it to the questioning thread. It's generally frowned upon to assume being lesbian is a 'phase' to grow out of, if you're feeling attractions to men then call yourself bi, there is no shame in being bi as long as you don't still pretend you're totally lesbian and still talk about how you want to be with dudes.

Though I relate to the feeling. Before I understood my own feelings I dated a guy in school because he had a crush on me and I thought I had to. Looking back it was awkward as hell, I didn't really let him touch me and I knew I didn't like him but he was the only person that asked me out so I felt like that was my only option. I still think to this day my family believes a man will come along and I'll be married to him like a good southern wife but I've always been adversed to marriage when imagining my life with a man. Obviously if you are looking for advice from these type of people they would tell you this, I can't tell you either way where your attractions lie, that's on you, but I will say don't just go with an option that is acceptable to other people.

No. 252656

I need it to be the weekend so I can go lick my girlfriend's abs. That's all.

No. 252661

>>252652
I don’t feel any attraction to men. Don’t want to do anything with them, fictional or real, they just look boring and a little weird. I wanted to like men for a long time because i wanted to be ‘good’ and not be told I’m gross, and even then i didn’t get attraction to men. If i saw attractive women or women with attractive figures i would look away and try to think of something else so i wouldn’t pervert myself. I’m not questioning, I think I’m just beginning to accept myself as a homosexual. Also, I feel like I’m not masculine enough to be gay. Like my family sometimes says women with short hair ‘look gay’ so because mine is long and i. like skirts i feel like a sussy gay impostor.

>>252651
That’s the thing, how do you know you yourself aren’t bi? For some of these women it takes like 30 years to ‘realise’, so could you say all lesbians could just be very very picky bisexuals? Or did these women just prefer women but choose to identify as Lenin until they found the right man? I hear so many people say that sexuality is fluid, but I’ve only liked one gender as long as i have felt attraction.
That being said i am kind of just playing the devils advocate here, i do believe a lot of these ex-lesbians were bi girls with a preference.

And definitely i wouldn’t be visible in any way, it’s not that I’m scared of violence, it’s more that other women may see me as an outsider/not one of them.

>>252656
Based, inspirational, and a reminder to all of us to workout kek

No. 252673

>>252661
>choose to identify as Lenin
kek

No. 252689

>>252661
>a lot of these ex-lesbians were bi girls with a preference
You mean all of them? Because being a lesbian and "turning to men" is just not a thing kek, when I lived in a homophobic shithole I preferred to just stay single rather than getting with a man. All of those ex-lesbians were bi all along.

No. 252697

>>252689
Yeah that's what I mean. It would either be that ex lesbians are just bi women who didn't admit it or sexual fluidity is real, which for me has never been the case, even when I resented my sexuality I was just celibate, even in my thoughts.

No. 252710

>>252697
NTA but the sexual fluidity thing literally just sounds like how bisexuality works. Bicycling is basically that.

No. 252719

>>252385
AYRT (late reply), it's tough, so I kinda settled that I won't find anyone. Technically I'm opening my horizons to non-lesbians, I'd love to date a "terfy/queer-phobic" bi woman/febfem that's my type and creative-minded like me too (especially if we could collaborate on original fiction), but then they tend to be too old or too young. I really wish I came out a decade earlier. I try not to be bitter but it's frustrating how half of my younger (early 20s) friends can score a date on Tinder relatively easy (and yes, I've tried that too and almost got catfished since I'm dumb with these things) but women my age are already in LTRs with their sweetheart.

>>252457
Heh, I relate a lot although I have autism/ADHD and other "cringe" disorders that affect things. I can LARP as normal pretty easy but I feel like a "how do you do, fellow kids" when it comes to the women I like who are the opposite of me and therefore chemistry-less.

>>252388
Sage for slight derail, but didn't Cathy Brennan say she was nonbinary as a way to troll? I'd prefer JKR not come out as a lesbian, because she isn't (and it would have both bad implications due to her being the "terf queen" and a domestic abuse victim), but it would be funny if she tried to play TRA's game and be "you know what, I have no gender technically, so I'm agender". Or even, "I identify as a man now you can't call me a terf since men can't be feminists".

>>252661
>That’s the thing, how do you know you yourself aren’t bi? For some of these women it takes like 30 years to ‘realise’
I've known some people like that and it's not the majority. You're probably young, so I don't want to be harsh, but in the last thread there was a similar girl who talked about how she only enjoys thinking about women but thinks not liking men is some mental block she can grow out of. Women who realize they're attracted to men later in life tend to have already known in some way but repress it for one reason or another, like guilt or being so attached to "lesbian" as a label. Sexuality is only fluid for bisexuals, some bi people feel like they're 50/50 but go to 90/10 and label themselves as something else during that period.

No. 252808

File: 1648723943354.jpg (8.92 KB, 344x342, no signal.jpg)

I have such a painfully intense crush on my best friend, anons. She said that she feels the same way but we're at very different stages of life, so it wouldn't work. Ughh I wish she wasn't so perfect

No. 252814

Is Lesbian different from Not Straight?

No. 252815

File: 1648728695425.jpeg (175.16 KB, 818x1222, kendall-jenner-steps-out-for-d…)

>>247457
>>247470
For real. Same with Kendall

No. 252826

>>252808
Is there no way you two can work to get to a place where you could be on similar stages in life? I can't help but root for shit like this nonita!

>>247457
Femme has completely lost its benign meaning, it only means a doctored, synthetic femininity (a la insta models with pounds of makeup and a totally contrived attitude) and every woman who is actually femme but just normal looking now gets gender dysphoria because they feel too masc to be femme. So stupid. I do think the gender-coded sublabels for lesbians is not really necessary anymore since we're not in a place where we have to conform to heteronormative dynamics every time.

Zendaya and Kendall are ever-so-slightly masculine sometimes, but butch?? lol. Zendaya in particular does have mannerisms that are not calculated in the delicate, hyper feminine way we're used to seeing from women in her status which is probably the main reason so many get "gay vibes" from her. Like she behaves in a blunt and kinda dorky manner often times. That and her utter failure to establish chemistry with anyone that she shares a scene with. I wouldn't say she has sexual chemistry with any women either though, she gives me asexual.

No. 252828

forever wishing i was gold star again. feel disgusting. do you ever get over it? i want to rope.

No. 252838

>>252828
You can get therapy if you feel like you've been assaulted but remember that everyone explores and sometimes does stuff they don't really feel comfortable with doing and blaming yourself or seeing yourself dirty isn't logical. You're not dirty for doing something literally every adult does, yeah it was a mistake but mistakes don't leave you dirty, they grant you knowledge. Now you're sure being with men won't work for you and that this is your identity. Most women have a harder time figuring out their sexuality because female sexuality is a taboo and trust me, most lesbians aren't goldstars because of how heteronormity is forced onto girls and how many women get sexually assaulted. Caring about goldstar status is almost like aligning with scrotes and how they don't want women who've been fucked or dirtied by other men, aka more knowledgeable about sex than the said scrotes. Yeah lesbians might choose not to date bisexuals and that's what goldstar term was meant to be used for, but you're not bisexual so it doesnt matter.

No. 252869

>>252828
I wish I was a gold star too. Technically I don't know if I "count" as one since whether SA counts depends on who you're asking, but the "discourse" about it still gets me really down and years of therapy never made that go away. I wish I knew what it was like to be completely clueless on what sex with a guy was like.

No. 252874

>>252869
I understand you're working on it still but I think you need to unplug from the "discourse" as you put it. I've never met someone who is obsessed with gold stardom (a version that excludes SA even, wtf??) and isn't a complete psycho. Your body can't be tainted by contact with men. This is scrote level thought and I seriously question any lesbian that bullies others for it, unless they're bihets parading as lesbians or something. As the other anon said, goldstar isn't for you or women who willingly participated in sex acts they didn't actually want.

No. 252887

it seems like a lot of lesbians are disgusted by non-gold stars

No. 252893

>>252828
>>252869
I'm a gold star myself but I honestly wouldn't give a shit if someone else wasn't. Figuring out your sexuality doesn't always come easy and people struggle with it a lot, as long as you're not one of those "Yeah I had long, fulfilling relationships with men and had consensual, passionate sex with them but then I realized I'm a lesbian" people then relax.

No. 252900

>>252887
Only troonsbians who fantasize about lesbians being women who never got fucked by men or straight men who only know lesbians as women untouched by dirty dirty men would care about goldstar shit. Given how common SA and wrong choices or exploration is, caring about this is stupid.

No. 252920

>>252874
AYRT, I don't engage in discourse and when it comes to online I autoblock hardcore radfems and people who post "if you ever dated a man even if it was holding hands with a guy in highschool prom for a week you're a bisexual", but I still find it hard when some lesbians actively brag about never being touched by a man. I guess it mostly depends on location/culture, so if someone was raised where arranged marriages were common, I could understand being proud of it, but most hardcore gold stars aren't.

No. 252936

Unpopular opinion but what a shame that lesbians aren't more feminine. There is nothing empowering about not shaving, cutting your hair short or wear ugly baggy clothes imo.

I went a couple of times in lesbian bars and there was barely any "normal" woman. Looks-wise but also psychologically. Same on Tinder. On the 5 dates I did I came across a sex worker and a bipolar. That's a lot. I have since uninstalled. I'm probably too judgemental but I want someone like me. Fem, good career and stable mentally.

No. 252941

>>252936
Go date bisexuals then, I'm sure you'll find your beautiful successful femme lipstick goddess there. It's okay to have preferences, I like femmes too, but this "ew why can't there be NORMAL women besides these ugly buzzcut feminist bulldykes!!" does make you sound hella judgmental and shallow.

No. 252943

File: 1648765119081.jpeg (366.18 KB, 1300x1065, 92B43486-83F2-4EEF-BBE6-83C604…)


No. 252947

>>252936
>There is nothing empowering about not shaving, cutting your hair short or wear ugly baggy clothes imo.
It may not be super "empowering" in the sense that women's rights will be pushed forward if I do it, but speaking from experience as someone who was pressured by family to do these things or else I would be ugly or unwomanly, it feels a lot better to dress comfortable and not shave or cake my face with makeup.

I only like fem women too, but not hyperfeminine. You can still look fem or have a naturally feminine body type/demeanor without shaving or wearing makeup (which I highly prefer), since you can still have good hygiene and groom without those things.

>>252941
The butch4butch lesbians I know would also love to know where these masc buzzcut dykes even are, lmao. Even on TV most lesbians are mostly fem-looking.

No. 252955

>>252941
The sex worker one was bisexual and I guess in the bars some were also bisexual. That's not the point. And when I say feminine it isn't bimbo, just conventionally styled.

No. 252959

>>252947
I get what you're saying. But I feel like there's no in between. Either the style is very masculine OR alternative with dyed hair and too much make up - euphoria style. I don't know I just don't feel comfortable when going to lgbt spaces.

No. 252966

>>252959
It's probably because it's usually people who make their sexuality or politics their entire identity that frequent advertised "lgbt" spaces. I'm an "in between" and I don't go there for that reason, it sucks but if you really wanna meet a normal person who just happens to be gay or bi or whatever you're better off making friends in hobby spaces or meetups, obviously there will be maladjusts in there too but dating is about working to find someone in my experience

No. 252994

>>252966
Yes that’s exactly it ! Not sure about the making friends part tho, people are mostly straight. I guess I have to download Tinder again, depressing.

No. 253000

>>252936
Femmes exist anon.

No. 253001

>>252947
I wish i could meet hyperfem women. All the hyperfem ones are straight

No. 253067

>>252959
Pretty sure you just pay more attention to them because they stand out from the crowd, plenty of lesbians look like normal people but they don't catch your eye because they're not kweer activists with a billion flag pins and alternative clothing, and most of them don't visit LGBT places for obvious reasons. For example I look like a completely average woman to the point I always have to hear this "Ew why do all lesbians dress up so weird???" bullshit from people not aware of my sexuality.

No. 253068

>>252936
>short haired women who don't shave aren't NORMAL womennn!!!
Kek. You're probably pulling mentally ill people because you sound mentally ill too. How are women not glamming up or not fitting male gaze 24/7 abnormal? I shave and have long hair but I'd rather kms than talk to you.

No. 253073

>>253068
Dont be upset anon you know what they meant. The average woman shaves and doesnt go on autistic rants about how evil it is to shave

No. 253074

>>252936
I know how you feel anon. Theyre either radfem anti makeup types or TIFs. Theres no inbetween anymore.

No. 253075

>>253068
You sound mentally ill kek
Lesbians are allowed to prefer feminine women

No. 253079

>>253068
Well yes they're not normal meaning not conventionally styled. Also why shaving is considered male gaze ?… Having pubes while cunnilingus is a pain. And baggy clothes don't enhance the natural figure of a woman.

>>253067
Yeah I was talking about LGBT spaces, bars more specifically.

No. 253080

>>253079
This is such a gross post it makes me shudder reading it.

No. 253092

File: 1648806540521.jpg (651.72 KB, 1159x1500, owlyjules5.jpg)

>>253079
very obvious male bait, please nonnies stop responding to the moid

No. 253099

>>253075
You can like whoever you like but calling women abnormal because they don't fit your standards and constantly running into mentally ill people means you're not that healthy either.
>>253080
This.

No. 253108

>>253099
Do you know the definition of normal ? It refers to a norm. I said it was an unpopular opinion but damn I didn't except so much offence.
And if I don't have the same opinions as you I'm necessary a man, right. Ok nice lol !

No. 253121

>>253099
Im not the same anon. She meant normal as in the norm. Stop making a big deal out of nothing. The average woman shave and wears makeup and wants to enhance her shape which is what anon wants. Can you guys spend one day without sperging out about “BBBUT MUH MALE GAZE”?

No. 253122

>>253108
dont listen to the retards kek its very obvious what you meant. anons here cant handle lesbians who like women who are feminine and they make everything about men for no reason

No. 253125

>>253108
So short haired women and women who don't always shave are out of the norm? Have you ever seen women irl?
>>253121
My friendgroup consists of straight women and they don't wear makeup, do their hair or shave every day either. Yeah they'd do their makeup and style their hair if we were going out to somewhere fancy or there was an event but otherwise not really. It's not normal to be this obsessed with performative femininity. She's not attracted to women if seeing bodyhair or natural beauty disgusts her.

No. 253135

>>253125
Who talked about wearing make up everyday anytime or shaving everyday ? Not my fault you imagined some bimbo.

No. 253139

people gave this super oppressed femme enjoyer reasonable responses too but she's only interested in defending her shitty wording from her initial post. let her be, she's sad enough that her prospects don't have bald enough pussies for her delicate mouth.

No. 253145

slight change of topic but do you guys prefer when stories about gay people include homophobia or don’t include it? i’ve seen people praise that our flag means death show for not having any homophobia and i guess i understand why those stories are important for people but as someone who feels the crushing weight of homophobia every day and still struggles with internalised homophobic thoughts all the time i much prefer stories that include homophobia because it gives me hope and ways to envision navigating through it. that being said i try to avoid stories with super tragic endings but just reading or watching other gay people live and survive through homophobia is so much more useful to me than immersing myself in a fantasy where it doesn’t exist. i don’t think there is any right or wrong answer to this though so i’m keen to here other people’s opinions

No. 253146

>>253145
What kind of stories ? You mena in media in general ?

No. 253149

>>253092
that lady is like 13 heads tall

No. 253150

>>253146
yeah i general it could be anything -books, tv, movies, fiction podcasts, comics etc. i know the prevalence of stories with gay characters but no homophobia a relatively recent phenomenon but i’m sure it’s something that’s only going to get more popular as time goes on

No. 253151

>>253150
Oh then it depends on the genre I guess. The thing is shows mostly take place in Western rich environments, homophobia then isn't really a subject.

No. 253161

>>253150
I don't think homophobia shouldn't appear in media at all, but it's really nice to have more light-hearted representation too. I like watching sitcoms to unwind, for example, so I'd love a good sitcom with a lesbian main character whose sexuality isn't the butt of a joke.

>>253067
This. I'm pretty normal looking and when I go to lesbian events (especially outside of pride) 85+% of the women there look really normal. As someone who prefers butches it's honestly annoying how rare they are and how much competition there is for their attention.

No. 253163

>>253150
I agree. Media where homophobia doesn’t exist or het isn’t clearly the dominant sexuality is too disconnected from my reality imo. It doesn’t move me in the same way.

No. 253164

>>253145
I prefer when stories don't have homophobia. I respect that it helps you process your stuff but for me it does not help.

I like heavy subjects and hate romantic comedies though so finding a lesbian film/show that is both angsty but isn't about homophobia or lesbians being "crazy" (looking at you Duck Butter) or porny is like… yeah it feels impossible.

No. 253168

why do homophobic bisexuals feel entitled to calling themselves gay for their own comfort knowing perfectly well that they are lying and contributing to harmful ideas about homosexuality… non gold star anons: you unironically should talk to more bi people lol, you would find out your experience is more common than you think. lesbian means no dick full stop. if you've had any urge to experiment with the opposite sex you are NOT homosexual

No. 253170

>>253168
here we go again

No. 253208

>>253092
honestly i hate that most art online about wlw is always some infantile stuff like mermaids, fairies princesses and so on. it's always the same childish stories and images, there's something so unsexual and clinical about it

No. 253215

>>253168
have you considered that some lesbians don't want to be lesbian

like i don't get it some insane women literally go and mutilate their own bodies because they don't wanna be gay but straight instead and try to become men and that's understandable and something that people agree with, yes of course some women go and get their damn tits cut off etc bodyhorror shit because of homophobia, but somehow trying to become straight by having straight sex is completely unthinkable behavior

No. 253224

>>253135
>wants shaved long haired women with makeup
>well it's not a bimbo!
Retard.
>>253168
There's definitely a moid baiting, this is one of his posts along with calling lesbians ugly and unkempt. He's trying to start an infight, please don't fall for it.

No. 253225

>>253215
The type of gay woman who transitions like that is almost always a gold star. Partaking in het sex is not the same category.

No. 253228

>>253225
Stop trying to start infights. If you wanna bring bisexuals do it in the questioning thread or vent in the vent thread if you just want to vent.
>>253215
This is true and very sad.

No. 253241

>>253145
I am very similar to you, gay stories being depicted in a homophobia free realistic world only makes me bitter. Though if it is fantasy with magic and dragons and shit then I can read it fine. I guess with more realistic stuff I start projecting too much

No. 253245

>>253079
>Also why shaving is considered male gaze ?
I can't tell if you're dumb or a moid baiting, but do ever remember having your mom force you to shave because it's "gross"/"unladylike" and whatnot? And it's male gazey because moids tend to think being a hairless Barbie doll is peak attractive. Also I don't like crazy forest bushes either but I'd rather a woman at least trim than imitate a child and wax her crotch completely.

>And baggy clothes don't enhance the natural figure of a woman.

Ok? Women don't have to always look pretty for you either… Like I said in another post, I only like fem women too but I also like natural femaleness too (no makeup or waxed hair).

>>253145
It depends, however I personally find it cathartic when fantasy does have homophobia. I don't have full-on magic fantasy OCs but my worlds do have some form of -ism since I use it as an outlet to vent.

>>253168
I'm a "non gold star" because I was assaulted. Does that count as being "pure enough" or should I have just known better, lmao?

No. 253247

>>253245
It's a moid baiting. Please don't let it get to you anon. I was too assaulted and realize how you feel, I'm sure any woman would sympathize with such a situation regardless her sexual orientation so it makes sense only a moid would make such posts. Also, the moid has been shitting up this thread with hot takes all day, first it's saying only goldstars matter, then women having to look like idealized conventionally beautiful women media advertises and then shitting up on bi women.

No. 253253

people on here calling it moid baiting are repressed bishits lmao(bait)

No. 253254

obviously rape doesnt count you retards

No. 253264

Such small duck energy trying to fuck up intelligent beautiful lesbians, how pathetic and predictable.
Can we do lesbian history posts here too? Like kick ass scientists or artists, educators, etc

No. 253304

>>253225
partaking in hetero sex is way less major thing to do with your body than amputating your breasts and cutting up your genitals? you think taking hormones and permanently changing your body is a way more likely thing to do to partake in heterosexual society than trying to act heterosexual through sex?

No. 253305

https(:)//(discord).(gg)/(5B7VJPxR)

No. 253315

>>253305
What's this invite supposed to be?

No. 253332

>>253247
AYRT, honestly at this point I'm baiting back since I tend to backread and reply to posts I find interesting, lmao. Also I sage it too just in case

No. 253608

My girlfriend has this scrote friend who has said time and time again that he'd like to date her if she could like him. On top of this, I found out that he's been saying that our relationship won't work out and that neither one of us is capable of being healthy mentally, if we're together. She's told him to stop saying things like that and he apologized (recent development) but I can't stop letting this get to me. I can't ask her to drop this friend she's had for over a decade because I don't wanna be toxic and controlling but I also can't stand that this piece of shit who's fantasizing about her despite knowing she's a lesbian… I can't stop seething. WTF do I do? I can't help but think awful things.

No. 253610

Man, getting ghosted sucks

No. 253618

I need to go on a date so bad nonnies, I want walk around the park or have a picnic. Fuck it I'm about to use a dating app just to meet someone, I don't even care if it leads anywhere I just want to live put this fantasy rn.

No. 253627

File: 1648965301016.gif (300.97 KB, 1280x1280, tumblr_0d016172f79ba3a989807ae…)

bump, be careful with scrolling

No. 253701

>>253608
wtf are they even friends for? he sounds horrendous. i'm sorry you're dealing with such a shithead, anon

No. 253740

>>253701
I guess their shared online communities and hobbies. I would never let someone like that stay in my life and I can't reconcile our difference in this matter. She said she'll drop him if I explicitly ask but it's not right for me to demand that and idk if she'd actually follow through at this point. I wish she just agreed with me, however selfish I feel about even wanting that.

No. 253784

>>253618
Me too nonners. I want to play scary arcade games and then have chips and beer by the seaside and have a snog with my hand in her hair under the pier whilst listening to Syd Matters.

No. 253796

>>253784
Wtf nonnie I love piers and arcades lets go on a date ♥

No. 253804

>>253796
Nonnie I’m not playing you’d better be in Folkestone in July ♥ ♥

No. 253810

>>253788
I believe her when she says she knows she's a lesbian (as in, that she thinks that) but she doesn't have a long dating history and letting that guy sniff around is giving me really bad vibes.

No. 253813

Do you ever see someone either irl or on the internet and they just instantly "ping" as gay to you? Vidrel does that for me, maybe it's different for non-britbongs though

No. 253871

>>247377
things I would do w my gf if I had one:
go on road trips
go backpacking
shrooms
start a really bad girl band
take naps
rent airbnb in mountains and go skinny dipping at some waterfall
go for long walks in middle of night
make out by a nice bonfire or fireplace

what would you do?

No. 253889

>>253608
Confront him directly next time you see him. Command some respect.

No. 253901

>>253889
Another layer of absurdity is that this person is an online friend of hers. They've met in person before I came into the picture but I've never met him online or otherwise. She'll be offended if I question her motives but reading the post saying she's secretly bi and some unfortunate Reddit lurking in the subject has rotted my brain this weekend. I'm better off burying this deep inside and just letting her hurt me if she's gonna hurt me I think. She's madly in love with me and I don't want to play into the scrotecs hand by pushing her away. I saw her yesterday and I was too visibly sad and she seemingly has no idea what I'm so sad about. If she didn't connect the dots then I probably should just take that as a free pass to drop the topic.

No. 253906

>>253901
Then talk with your gf about it, how you feel uncomfortable. Your girlfriend isn't mentalist, give her a chance by expressing your feelings to her. Otherwise you'll end up resentful.

I would personally tell her to block him since I don't value online relationships+this guy clearly wants to fuck her. But that's a very personal opinion as I don't know you, her or the guy. But the first step is to tell her your feelings are hurt.

No. 253908

Sorry in advance and please help me out bc I'm probably (likely) socially retarded or something and overly worried about being in a relationship for the first time but it's bad that she's my aquaintance (that I have also have carnal relations making it gf but still kind of companion role) right? I mean I'm having a hard time thinking of things to do that differs from best friend that I have intercourse with. Were both exactly the same brand of antisocial sperg so it's currently satisfactory, but aiming to increase romantic skills would probably be good, somehow? We both don't want to do stuff in public for schizo reasons and practical ones so what should I do? I make her objects already and try to do services that she'll appreciate but should I try to get over the anxiety and do dating publicly? People do it because it's beneficial in some area over homophobia right? I don't want people percieving me in weird ways and I secondhandly work with children so I don't people maybe thinking I'm groomer aligned is sad, also neither of our parents are that positive about it. The only thing good I could think of doing it would be that my mother thinks I'm going to Troon out or kill myself and it might be reassuring to her that in not going to die a volcel even when she vocally hates female homos and will likely try to kill me immediately. Nonas has anything positive come from "coming out"/going public for you or what we're your motivations in doing so? 

Also more lightheartedly I've recovered from having surgery enough that I can lift her a little and am gaining woman induced strength. Feels good overall and everythings fine apart from aforementioned issue.

No. 253911

>>253608
It's one thing to have unrequited feelings for someone who you know isn't attracted to your sex full stop.. it's another thing to voice those feelings repeatedly. He's trying something there. I had male friends do this shit when I was younger and looking back I wish I had cut them off sooner because it's disrespectful for them to keep trying to plant that seed in your head. There's no grey zone where him voicing that over and over again is somehow innocent and not just passive aggressive horny male behaviour. Most people feel unrequited feelings at some point but he's handling it in a douchebag way.

Is she young enough to legit be naive about his nature here? In my early twenties I was legit that naive and I wasn't enjoying the attention, I just didn't see it for what it really is.

No. 253920

>>253911
Shes' 29. I just found out that she encouraged this thing in a mortifying way (that I won't air out here) a few years ago when she got dumped by her ex gf and wanted attention. Now I'm in fucking shambles. I want to throw up.

No. 253928

>>253608
So weird. It can happen to have a male friend crushing on you and shooting his shot, but him trying it over and over? I would be really uncomfortable and cut him off myself. And the fact he even tries to break you two up makes things worse.
Don't even know what to say, I don't understand why is your gf allowing him to be so disrespectful both to her, you and her relationship. She's either bi and keeps him sniffing around because she's half-interested, or she really needs to strengthen her self esteem and set boundaries.

No. 253929

>>253920
Ah shit, sorry, didn't see you already replied. So I guess it was the former… I'm sorry anon.

No. 253930

>>253608
I would honestly not stand for this and would confront the guy instead of my girlfriend if she's not comfortable enough to be direct with him. Even if they've been friends for a decade it's still extremely inappropriate behavior and very disrespectful. Agree with >>253928 too, she's either keeping him on standby or needs your intervention.

No. 253931

>>253920
>she encouraged this thing in a mortifying way (that I won't air out here)
She sent him nudes, didn't she. Welp, guess this settles the matter of her sexuality. Sorry you had to find out this way, but now her keeping him close despite his actions makes a hella lot more sense

No. 253958

>>253931
Please tell us that it isn't that anon

No. 253966

Right ladies. Bumble hasn’t worked out for me. I’m tired of being overweight and shit. I started lifting and eating clean. I’m feeling good, loosing weight and gaining muscle. I’ve loved strong woman since I was young (before I even knew what gay was). I’ll just become my own strong wife.

No. 253970

>>253958
It was not nudes and it was not the guy who instigated as far as she tells it so now my mind is not at all on this scrote anymore. She apologized for contributing to the lesbians being available idea and said that she felt wrong and gross when that exchange with him happened. She was in a really bad mental space at that time and I feel like maybe that was self harm for her. I'm choosing to trust her and if she hurts me someday, she hurts me. She said she has the same fears of me turning out to be bi and dropping her for a man someday. If I'm an idiot then so be it, I just love her too much.

No. 253973

File: 1649094637365.jpg (65.69 KB, 615x578, E_FQxhIWEAE3kjQ.jpg)

I've never had sex with any other girl than my gf and lately I've been fantasizing about having a hoe phase. I love my girl and I'm not even the kind of person to hoe around but damn, these fantasies are hitting rn.

No. 253975

File: 1649095092204.jpg (85.16 KB, 563x695, 989c2c9a22fda8a496db345524d6e6…)

>>253871
oh shit this is so cute nonnie, it's gonna hurt but I will answer too

-go to the cinema/watch movies at home and spend hours talking about it
-go to museum together, and I take tons of photos of her and all the art pieces
-read in confortable silence in a dedicated comfy area
-take long walks together, especially in nature
-massage her head and play with her hair if it relaxes her
-furnish and decorate a living space where we can feel at home
-encourage eachother to do all sorts of weird art and crafts
-kiss her hands at any moment of the day if she's ok with it (it sound weird but I really love this medieval display of affection kek)
-cook her her favorite food

Feeling very maidenless today kek

No. 253979

>>253908
you sound very online, maybe surround yourself with less toxic content. i'm sorry your parents are homophobic, im sure that doesnt help.
I think your partner is supposed to also be your best friend. there are many different forms of intimacy, maybe you can build them up over time. also you dont have to do anything you dont want. sounds like you dont feel comfortable dating a woman even in your personal space, so it makes sense youre not comfortable being out in public. thats fine, maybe work on your inner acceptance and confidence first and then take some small steps.
btw its okay to be gay and work with children.

No. 253982

>>253973
Let's switch places. Fucking around is empty and boring as fuck, I want a gf.

No. 254030

>>253975
are you me nona? happy to know i'm not the only one into the autistic hand thing…

No. 254034

>>253970
why are you two even dating if you clearly don’t trust each other

No. 254035

>>254034
Who would trust a girl flirting with a friend who wants to fuck her. I think the anon is way too kind already.

No. 254047

>>254035
yeah but her girlfriend is also worried about her “turning bisexual” and leaving her for a man. they just don’t trust each other. even if one or both of them is actually bisexual that shouldn’t mean they should seriously fear them cheating or leaving them for a man

No. 254059

>>254047
I'm so happy that you don't have this anxiety but we've both been left for men before by late bloomer bisexuals and it's not so weird if you've been through that.

No. 254064

>>254059
if this has happened to both of you before it seems extra insensitive that she would keep being friends with this guy. i think you need to talk to her and explain what you’re feeling.

i was in a similar situation where i had some casual guy friends who were clearly trying to hit but as i was young and naive at the time (i was 19) i didn’t really realise it for what it was. i told my girlfriend about it and she was told me they clearly don’t have good intentions and are just biding their time so i broke it off with those guys because i ultimately didn’t value their “friendship” as much much as i valued my girlfriend and i also didn’t feel comfortable being friends with dudes who i realised are only sticking around on the off chance they could fuck. it also just wasn’t respectful to my relationship to my girlfriend. it’s different here because this dude sounds like he’s closer friends with your girlfriend but i think any self respecting lesbian wouldn’t keep guys like this around. maybe she’s insecure or maybe she’s secretly bisexual i don’t know but i know that i wouldn’t want to keep being friends with a guy who clearly just wants to fuck.

i used to be naive and projected my own experiences onto these guys. i used to fall for my straight friends and i was able to continue being friends with them whilst i got over my feelings so when i was younger and didn’t really know any guys (went to an all girls school) i assumed men would be the same. they’re not and i was in for a shock as i entered the adult world and realised that plenty of guys only act friendly with girls if they think they can hit.

No. 254103

File: 1649135099614.png (234.87 KB, 500x616, A610F3C9-3653-4FED-8AF7-4CBBBA…)

made me chuckle

No. 254132

>>253970
Sounds like a load of excuses on her side and the story seems inconsistent as fuck (now she sexted this guy, now it's another guy, now it was just looking for attention, now it's "self harm") and the trying to turn it around by saying "No actually I worry that you will drop me for a man" despite what's happening seems textbook bullshit. I've seen this before.
I got a bad feeling about this, and you probably have it too since you mentioned getting bad vibes from this, but I do hope we're both wrong and there's nothing going on between your gf and this guy. Did you settle the thing about this guy sniffing around and trying to break you up? Is she going to cut him off or stop his insinuations in any way?

No. 254144

>>254132
I appreciate your concern, along with all the anons honestly. She did level with him sternly and he said he will stop making any comments critical of me or us and he will drop any flirting attempt as well. It seems like he gets one second chance and if he fucks up, he's out. We had a long talk and I spoke up about every concern I have and let her have it basically. I do think this situation has red flags but we have had a remarkable relationship so far and I want to see if there will be another fuckup after I've made it clear I do not consent to being with a bisexual. Thank you so much everyone for giving your input, even though I'm making a dumb mistake in most of your eyes.

No. 254166

>>254144
Have you told her you don't want to be with a bisexual woman? Because that could explain the sneaky shit and maintaining an orbiter. A lot of bisexual women claim to be lesbian while they're in relationships with women and if she feels like she would he rejected by you if she was it could explain a lot of this. It just sounds like a hotbed for resentment. I hope you find peace anon.

No. 254179

>>254166
She knows. Her outlook on her past was that it didn't matter but for me it does, so there was some misalignment in terms of expectations on disclosure between us. We had a talk about all of it. Bottom line is neither one of us wants a bi partner and we agreed to confront the other if one of us has a late bloomer situation.

Also just wanna clarify on an earlier point made, it was my speculation that the sexting was self harm at a time where she was dealing with being dumped by her transitioning gf, not something she said as justification. Also there is only one guy involved in this whole thing, it was never multiple guys. Not sure what gave that impression. Again thanks a lot to the nonitas that chimed in regardless. It means a lot to get perspective and I feel stronger as far as facing future consequences go.

No. 254243

why can't the bi thread keep lesbians and especially goldstars out of its dicksucking mouth for even a second?

No. 254264

>>254243
Lesbians behaving like incels. Not even surprised. The amount of hatred yall have for lesbians is crazy.

No. 254265

>>254264
*bisexual women

No. 254266

>>254243
This is funny because most times I scroll past this thread, there's at least one post with the word bisexual/bi in it. Also, the first time anyone ever mentioned gold stars in that thread was a post from 4 days ago.

No. 254267

>>254047
Who cares if she leaves her for a man? How does this affect you? Its so entitled to care about this shit youre just as bad as men. Why does it matter if shes not yours anymore? Mental illness

No. 254268

>>254267
Are you okay

No. 254269

>>254268
I am okay. I just dont get why details of the person shes leaving you for even matters. I dont get why men and lesbians get mad about this kind of stuff

No. 254272

>>254265
cope harder but you're projecting ptsd from your ex boyfriend

No. 254274

>>254264
>Lesbians behaving like incels. Not even surprised.
you're in a thread of lesbians insulting them at large because i called you out for insulting them in your own thread. stay obsessed though orbiter

No. 254275

>>254267
the mental illness is you being pressed at other people's sexual preferences and constantly talking about how horrible men are while comparing lesbians to them at every chance you get just because some don't want to date bisexuals you lesbophobic creep

>>254265
yeah and it's the bis

No. 254277

>>254269
You don't get why men and lesbians get mad about being cheated on? Did you even understand what was being discussed or did you just drop by to insult lesbians

No. 254278

>>254059
it's more likely to happen because bisluts love to cheat on their girlfriends with men since 99% of them prefer men and the ones who don't only prefer women because they're tryhard feminists who hate men so just dump her

No. 254280

>>254274
>for insulting them in your own thread
Nta, but the post you're getting mad over didn't even insult lesbian women, she actually said the opposite (and again, that is the first time that goldstars were ever talked about in that thread). It's clear that you are purposefully misinterpreting that anons post to have something to be mad about, salty asshole.

No. 254281

Who said anything about bis being more likely to cheat? Anon was complaining about her girlfriend actively flirting with a guy she knows has a crush on her. It makes sense to anticipate cheating to anyone with an IQ above 80.

Stop playing victims.

No. 254282

>>254280
she accused lesbians who haven't fucked men of being psychos who harass lesbians who've fucked men (and who can't stop talking about it to lesbians for some reason even though it's "in the past" then act surprised at the response when they make it their entire personality and the focus of all conversation lol)

No. 254283

>>254282
She didn't, you just can't read.

No. 254284

>>254283
except she did say the gold star shit is psycho in reply to someone whining about fucking a guy. tell yourself whatever you need to cope

No. 254288

Can the trolls derailing fuck off? Please and thank you.

No. 254303

>>254282
well is she wrong, honestly? online lot of lesbians who are really into identifying as gold stars do exactly that. i remember how on tumblr non golstars used to get all kinds of dickrider, cocksucker etc messages and you yourself seem like a good example of this behavior when you call women bisluts and dick suckers. you behave like an incel and crying about lesbophobia wont change it

No. 254305

>>254267
>you're just like men for not wanting to be cheated on or lied to about your partner's sexuality
this is why we don't want to date you people. anyways…

No. 254350

Jojo Siwa gives me Jodie Foster vibes.

No. 254351

>>254303
an incel is someone who can't get a date and lesbians absolutely can, it's the bisluts invading lesbian spaces demanding a date from lesbians and calling us men and incels when we say no so reconsider

No. 254352

>>254305
>you're just like men for not wanting to be cheated on or lied to about your partner's sexuality
they think it's fine to casually call lesbians psychos just for openly daring to say they've never dated/fucked a man, and it's perfectly ok to call lesbians incel men every 5 seconds for having a problem with literal cheaters, but i can't call them a bisluts and dick suckers for those things or else they jump to the lesbophobe's/cheater's defense by saying >>254264 "lesbians behaving like incels. not even surprised" as their big feminist gotcha lol

No. 254355

>>254243
Because there are newfags/moids who intentionally try to start lesbian/bisexual infights. I don't care about goldstar shit and hate how it's brought up as a gotcha in every retarded infight. Literally a lesbian refusing to date someone because they've been dating men for years isn't lesbo/biphobia, it's a preference and lesbians probably know most of those girls will attempt to settle down with men later so wasting time on them is useless.
>>254303
You sound like one of those kiwifags who are upset lesbians won't date him to resort to calling them incels in a poor attempt to uno-reverse. Kek.

No. 254357

>>254350
elaborate?

No. 254360

>>254303
I'm a goldstar but I never judged let alone insulted non goldstars, yet I've faced some hostility when mentioning it. I think some people just have a weird inferiority complex towards goldstars, like we're supposed to never mention it or never feel some kind of pride in having figured ourselves out before having "tried men", or otherwise it means we're "putting down non goldstars".

No. 254363

>>254360
lmao i’m a gold star too and it’s not because I figured it out before men it’s because the few times men tried to be intimate with me I sperged out and left.

It was a literal “dad come get me I’m scared”

No. 254368

>>254363
Ayrt and same, it was a way to put it. It's just that some lesbians say they only figured it out after having had experiences with men.

No. 254380

>>254103
Has anyone ever gone on a date with these types? They're so present on online dating sites but I've never encountered anyone who has dated one for real

No. 254392

>>254380
No, because those types don't actually date women

No. 254404

>>254355
>be upset that women are called dick riders
>y-you're the moid!!! kiwifag!!

what the fuck is this schizophrenia?

No. 254411

>>254351
you know that acting like an incel has different meaning nowadays ie you act like a misogynist and calling women dicksuckers is exactly that. you are a misogynist.

but you know what since both of you >>254355 focus so much on the incel quip instead of what i actually said, that calling women dickriders and bisluts is indeed psycho (and dare i say it again, incelic) behavior, i kinda think that insult hit the target! hope you get dates soon(infighting)

No. 254413

>>254267
I know its bait but it hurts a lot to get left for a man, especially when a woman claims she was a lesbian.

No. 254418

>>254305
Except you are just like men for caring about the gender a woman leaves you for. Stop being gross and entitled. Bisexuals date both genders so who gives a shit? If she dumps you then it doesnt make her bisexuality any less valid. Some of you lescels are insane

No. 254419

>>254413
But anon isnt talking about a lesbian shes talking about a bisexual woman

No. 254420

File: 1649259968196.jpeg (57.55 KB, 392x612, FCAE2E45-9F7C-44E0-81D6-FD9A2D…)

>>254275
No one wants you kek
I dont give a fuck if lesbians dont date bisexual women but if you date one and she leaves you for a man and you act as if it invalidates her bisexuality then youre just as gross as an entitled moid who rages. For people who whine about “MUH HOMOPHOBIA” so much you have no issue invalidating someones sexuality all the time and acting just as insufferable as straight people(infighting)

No. 254421

>>254272
And cope harder. Worry about the fact moids force you to date them lmfaoo lesbian now means “non woman liking non woman”. Worry about your own issues

No. 254422

>>254282
>>254277
A bisexual woman dumping you for a man isnt being cheated on kek
You truly cant read. All i said was it doesnt fucking matter if she dumps you for a woman or a man shes still bisexual and it doesnt make her attraction to women any less valid.

No. 254427

>>254422
Dear BPD-chan, the topic of discussion was a (possible) lesbian-identified bisexual woman cheating on her gf with her male friend. It's you who can't read.
You can also reply to multiple posts in the same post, you don't have to shit up the entire thread with your non-sequitur ramblings every time you browse it.

No. 254429

File: 1649262302538.jpg (15.33 KB, 370x370, pizza cat.jpg)

Sorry to sperg but I'm so tired ladies, so fucking tired of the lack of decent (or actual) lesbians in my city, it's all either fucking troons (ffs even if you chopped your disgusting dick off hell no will I EVER want to sleep with a scrote at all, and no one is going to gaslight me into thinking this is acceptable, nasty ass incels) but the only other options is a specific type of butch lesbian I just can't stand (short/obese/dress and act like 13 year old boys and come with the same edgy "humor" and shit, like I went on a date with one but she didn't realize I'm just a pale af Arab and called some poor hijabi girl minding her business a sand ni**) like where can I find a cool, tall woman with nice arms who will let me eat her out and we can watch my awful turkish dramas and knafeh with?

No. 254440

>>254420
>>254411
>>254404
>>254422
Obsessed BPD-chans shitting up a thread that's not even theirs.
Stop crying about how leaving a woman for a man and cheating on her with a man is based in the same sentence you call any lesbian that rejects you incel. Kek.
Anon is right you really are cockbreaths because you simply can't keep cocks and men out of your mouth, everything has to be about them and you need to shit up threads about how it's so based normal that bi women will leave and cheat on lesbians with shitty men and that this totally doesn't mean lesbians can "invalidate" their true and honest homosexuality.

No. 254446

File: 1649265395819.png (112.34 KB, 840x856, 1618355819801.png)

88% of bisexuels are in a heterosexual relationship. It's then understandable for a gay person to not engage with bisexuals. Especially since with age, the social pressure to be with the opposite sex increases.

Before judging the fear of some lesbians, check the facts. Their fear is valid.

No. 254447

>>254440
It's a moid baiting once again. "You're just like genderbent incels!!111" is their go-to insult they love to throw around like confetti.

That said it's annoying when bis don't understand how hurtful it is to be left for a man, 90% of bisexuals are in a heterosexual relationship because so many have a lesbian bout in their 20's and then once their biological clock starts ticking or they leave college for regular work life with normies they swiftly marry the first Nigel they come across. So a lot of lesbians just don't see the point in wasting their time with them. Plus as someone who actually is dating a bisexual girl it's gross when she's gushing over sexy moids that I find hideous or tolerable at best.

No. 254448

>>254446
kek based for manifesting the source just as I mentioned the statistics t. >>254447

No. 254452

>>254440
>Obsessed BPD-chans shitting up a thread that's not even theirs.
Nta, but this is all happening because a lesbian anon decided to make things up and infight in the bisexual thread, and then the lesbian anon dragged it over here.

No. 254455

>>254452
Why do I feel like it's the same anon trolling both threads?

No. 254456

>>254455
Because it's a man and bi-tards fell for it and came here to screech. Kek. The same male poster has been shitting up this thread by creating retarded posts about how lesbians aren't normal because they have short hair and don't wear makeup or how non goldstars cant be lesbians even if they're raped.

No. 254458

>>254429
No advice to give but you sound cute nonnie. I hope you can find the cool, tall woman of your dreams soon!

No. 254486

>>254429
Come to Paris anon, I adore kadaif.

Now that I'm thinking about it. What's your typical first date anons and do you pay ? I like gallantry but not many women returned me the favor lol. Usually it's a beer in a seedy bar dressed in jeans. Which is sad. I think getting dressed and going to a nice place is so seductive.

No. 254519

>>254447
Is exactly that. Most of them don't think that homosexual relations exist before 25.

No. 254522

>>254452
a bislut was crying about how lesbians are mean to her for fucking a man willingly (which means she brought it up in the first place) and called goldstar lesbians psychos which another anon joined in with agreeing. so i asked why you bitches can't keep lesbians and goldstars out of your dicksucking mouths and you got triggered

No. 254523

>>254421
>Worry about the fact moids force you to date them lmfaoo
and you expect anyone to believe you're either not a moid or that fucking so many has done irreversible mental damage

No. 254526

>>254523
>you expect anyone to believe you're either not a moid or that fucking so many has done irreversible mental damage
Kek. I love you anon. That dumbass has been mocking lesbians the whole time but got so triggered when someone called her a dicksucker or whatever which is actually supposed to be a valid part of her sexuality.

No. 254527

>>254522
Keep twisting things, I guess.

No. 254530

>>254527
keep repeating this over and over because you're the actual one twisting things i guess

No. 254533

>>254527
Obsessed

No. 254572

>>254458
thank you queen, hope nothing but love and good arabic food for you
>>254486
very diff but I once dated a Native girl and she took me to her families potluck and it was so nice and fun for our second date after I paid for our first date. They kept on feeding me and I really loved the hospitality (also she had these amazing abs, like damn I miss her so much now)

No. 254662

i purposely moved seats today in class to sit next to a girl who smiled at me on Monday, what are u-haul rates these days?

No. 254682

>>254662
watch VaushV on YouTube

No. 254684

ALL WOMEN ARE LESBIANS. ESTROGEN IS THE KEY

No. 254695

>>254662
isnt this normal behavior lol

No. 254744

Have any nonnas here had issues with people befriending you to collect you? Like idk, being bothered by a reverse fag-hag, if that makes sense? I'm pretty sure a toxic friendship I just left had that going on and I didn't realize it until now. It pisses me off to think the other girl befriended me because having a lesbian friend might be seen as trendy.

No. 254797

>>254440
>>254447
>>254522

again, what schizophrenia is this.

once again i see the incel insults hit the target, hope you get dates soon you incelic misogynists and so on.
lescel meme is real sometimes, you can cry about lesbophobia but i am a lesbian myself and i actually do not date bisexual women myself either kek, i just can go on about it without throwing tantrums about it.
i can reject women without calling them cocksuckers and other unhinged INCEL LITE behavior, and i personally never even said anything about lesbians having to date bis, just that you don't need to insult women but you are so unhinged in your paranoia that just saying that mayhaps calling women dickriders is wrong it makes you lose your shit over it, which honestly is way more BPD-like behavior. the black and white thinking and all that, you know.

and funny thing that i have noticed during the years especially in online circles is that the most unhinged cockbreath insult throwing maniacs often turn out to be bisexuals themselves kekkkk

No. 254805

>>254797
> and funny thing that i have noticed during the years especially in online circles is that the most unhinged cockbreath insult throwing maniacs often turn out to be bisexuals themselves

literally this. i swear we were talking about it upthread but online it’s always the “lesbians” who are militant about their sexuality and misogynistic to bi women who turn out being bi. almost like they feel insecure in their identity and have something to prove lol

No. 254806

someone i’m mutuals with on twitter thought she was a lesbian for ages but then had a male sexual awakening and came out as bi. that’s cool and whatever but she had her awakening over ugly guys. like the main guy in hereditary who breaks his nose , and paul dano? i could understand realising you’re bi because of hot men but this i do not get.. unless these guys are actually hot and my gay ass can’t tell

No. 254812

>>254806
>unless these guys are actually hot and my gay ass can’t tell
Sorry to scooch itt, but no they are not

No. 254814

>>254797
If you really don't want to restart infighting, why did you write paragraphs worth of schizo rant? Why are you calling lesbians misogynistic men and incels just for disliking bisexuals talking over them? Back to the kiwifarms where you can lie about how lesbians are totally incels because you won't fuck them just after you cry about how lesbians don't accept you.

No. 254816

Who wan't to talk about something positive! What's your ideal traits in your current or future boo? Mine's toned bodies (for physical) and being funny and kind for the inner aspects

And since I am the same Arab anon from before who cried about my lacking of options of even just actual women to date, I guess this is something I have wondered about, but for those who aren't white or a minority in where they live (well double if we're including our sexuality) I know for example east asian gay guys are low on the gay dating totem pole, how do we feel as women the dating options are for us? I feel like sometimes I do get ignored and have been told to my face that, "will I be honour killed by my parents if I brought a woman home", which fucking rude first of all but I feel like that's been the question unasked with a lot of my dates both white and white washed

No. 254817

It'll be a lot healthier if people accept that consent does not require an explanation whatsoever and consent to being with a bisexual is the same. It is nobody's job to validate you or accept you as a partner. Hyper fixating on the insults or whatever is just a way to trap yourself in it. Nobody is entitled to the bodies of others and that includes not wanting a partner for any reason. If you feel insulted by the idea that gay people find hetero sex repellant, that is a you problem. It's a fundamental difference between bisexuals and "monosexuals", we aren't capable of being all that neutral towards sex couplings outside of our own. Many of us have traumas but also it's simply disgusting to us outside of that too. Some are less troubled by it, some more.

No. 254830

>>254814
>Why are you calling lesbians misogynistic men

that's your own insecurities speaking. i never called you a man, i called you incel like. i happen to be one of those people who thinks women can be misogynist too and i don't think women are good people by just the virtue of being women, and that women have some responsibility over their behavior. like i actually do think some bisexual women uphold lesbophobic things with their behavior like calling themselves lesbians while dating men

if you read that calling you a man that's your own damn problem and your own insecurities speaking. again and again, what i said was "calling women dickriders and cocksuckers is wrong and misogynist" and you throw a tantrum about it

No. 254832

>>254816
I like your energy anon. I wish I could say I'm super picky with personalities but for me I look for intense physical attraction first. If that's not there, I'm out. My attraction isn't for a narrow type so I just meet people and sometimes there is a magnetic draw, none of these women even look similar besides being slim and having nice skin. After the initial attraction I start to discern traits more and see if I can make a relationship work with her. Things I look for are an ability to function independently, ability to set boundaries and respect them, self confidence or at least an interest in self-care. Intellect and sense of humor are big too, I want there to be wit in our conversations. I look for tenderness less than I should. Sometimes I get stuck on a woman who is so cerebrally compatible but does not have the emotional bandwidth. Emotional connections are hard for me to forge due to fear as well, I hide myself sometimes. So a certain disarming force from my gf is a huge plus.

I was lucky enough to find someone who fits what I'm looking for and she has actually avoided dating for years so she could find someone she is truly invested in and impressed by. It's a little overwhelming to be told I'm exactly the kind of woman she has been looking for but it also makes me feel kinda proud.

No. 254841

>>254816
>I do get ignored and have been told to my face that, "will I be honour killed by my parents if I brought a woman home"
Damn this is one of my greatest fears if I ever get into dating. I'm not technically Arab (north african exmuslim, still live there), but I have always wondered how I'd be viewed by women who don't have a muslim background as I do. Especially since I don't plan on ever telling my parents that I'm gay. I can't imagine anything good coming out of that. I'm just gonna escape this country asap and hope that the distance and pretending to be a Spinster will be enough to keep them at bay. Did you ever have to deal with that? And for other anons, would my situation be a turn off to you?

No. 254848

>>254841
>Especially since I don't plan on ever telling my parents that I'm gay
Don't mean to be negative but I can imagine it'd be an issue for women who want a long term commitment. Having to pretend you're just a friend to your long term gf (or even wife) is hard and I don't think this "double life" would work for you either, they will find out at some point, unless you plan on cutting your family off.

No. 254852

>>254848
I really can't think of a better choice. I assumed it would be easier to hide since we'd be living in different continents. I know they'd never hunt me down if they did find out, they're lovely people who were victims of indoctrination. It's just that they're very old and frail and telling them that I'm gay is basically saying "Hey the daughter that you raised and love is going to suffer in hell for eternity". That would destroy them, I don't want to risk making them go through that. Cutting them off isn't much better either because I still love them very much despite everything. This issue has been on the back of my mind for years now, and it's only gotten worse as they age/get sick and need my help more. All I can do for now is prepare to leave and hope I figure it out once I'm more or less stable abroad

No. 254854

>>254852
NTA but it's extra hard to find someone in the west willing to live a double life like that, especially if you move to a city and not somewhere more rural. I personally would not date someone who needs to keep me a secret in any capacity. I want my partner to be fully out and able to include me in any reasonable activity like work parties or family functions. I'm an immigrant from a Muslim country, though grew up with a non-muslim family. It isn't your responsibility to coddle your parents but I get why you don't wanna come out to them anyway. Tough situation, you're totally right to just focus on relocating for now. Best of luck!

No. 254857

>>254832
Happy and proud for you also!

>>254841
I hope you focus on yourself and escape asap also! Check out Rainbow Railroad in Canada, they help LGBT people escape their own home countries, if you can write to them or similar organizations to help you? For me I was lucky in that while my mom is Christian but ironically more disappointed in me but thankfully she has come around, my dad who is Muslim didn't mind at all, but that's more for a sad family history, where his brother/my uncle who was gay was sadly killed for it back in the 90s.

But for me the situation wouldn't turn me off, I dated women who have had to hide it from their families, but they were low contact with them and I wouldn't want to ever pressure them into revealing themselves because I know how dangerous it can be but it would be frustrating (and was for me at times) I know to have to live your life hiding such a big part of it, sorry habibi nonna I don't have any solid advice really to give I guess but I hope your situation really does improve and you find love and acceptance wherever you end up!!

No. 254870

>>254830
lmao no several anons commented calling lesbians men, just as bad as men or simply categorising us as the same as men for caring about being cheated on and the only reason anyone called you dickriders and cocksuckers (which is supposed to be a valid part of your bisexuality anyway so what's with the shame?) is because bigen was busy calling lesbians who've never been with men psycho shit, nutters, moids and saying they harass women when clearly the opposite is true. now you're here with the "incel militant secretly bi" projection when it's actually bis who want lesbians to date them and flipped out because some of us said no

No. 254874

>>254870
This, tbh. Some bis are the real incels when they pull stuff and act like this towards lesbians. Also why do they even think dicksucker is an insult but also bring up how lesbians totally suck dick and are secretly bi? Kek.

No. 254875

>>254870
Stop lying. You call bisexual women whores, sluts, cocksuckers and made fun of their trauma they have bc of men but you think its wrong to say thats incel behavior? Your misogyny is disgusting.

No. 254876

>>254830
Based nonny. Unfortunately women here have no problems using incel words (like cocksuckers, talking about how women suck dick etc) just like moids but will get upset if you call them out on it. Just typical incel lite behavior

No. 254877

>>254874
No woman wants to be called a dicksucker its degrading and disgusting you misogynistic retard.

No. 254884

>>254877
You're ashamed of your own sexuality. Sucking dick is literally a part of your sexuality and it's not an insult because of that fact alone.
>>254875
Some bi women mocked lesbians who weren't "goldstar" because of abuse or wrong choices and tried to argue they must be bi too, since they fucked a man once. They also called lesbians psychos if they were goldstars. Anon called only those bi women cocksuckers, she didn't randomly attack everyone and even then, her calling them cocksukers isn't much different than bi women thinking most lesbians would fuck men because they themselves don't.

No. 254909

>>254884
>You're ashamed of your own sexuality. Sucking dick is literally a part of your sexuality and it's not an insult because of that fact alone.

idk anon, then by that logic a homophobic person call a lesbian a carpet eater or a gay man a cocksucker is just accurately describing their sexuality and you shouldn’t be offended. the point is i think many people don’t appreciate their sexuality being rendered in such crude terms and being used as an insult, no matter how accurate the term may be.

No. 254910

>>254841
my girlfriend is from east asia and from a very conservative christian family. she was straight up with me when we first started dating and said she can’t tell her family she’s gay. they wouldn’t understand and she’d likely be disowned. she actually broke down in tears to me like 4 months into our relationship because she didn’t think we would be able to get married and she didn’t want to disappoint me. now three years on she is planning to fully immigrate to my more liberal country where we will live together. not so sure about marriage yet - she said she’d feel weird if we got married and my entire family was at the wedding and she just had a few friends who knew she was gay, but i’m not too fussed.
really you should be honest straight away about this, especially if you think the woman you’re into is looking for a serious relationship, it’s just a waste of both of your time if you’re not. and don’t stay with anyone who says they’re okay with it but then pressures you into coming out

No. 254915

>>254870
>which is supposed to be a valid part of your bisexuality anyway

again with the schizophrenia. anyone who says calling women cocksuckers is wrong must be a bisexual evil witch bitch woman or whatever, you think lesbianism is some sort of political identity instead of a sexuality so you cannot accept that some lesbians like me disagree with you. you think lesbianism is some sort of political identity.

you are blaming me for shit i never said. all i said is that calling women dick riders is wrong and incel like, but because you think lesbianism is a personality or some sort of act you personally follow instead of just simple sexual attraction to women you cannot accept that some lesbians think differently from you! sorry polilezzie but it doesn't work like that

>>254884
plike here. polilezzie bullshit, if someone disagrees with you you cannot comprehent that they share a sexuality with you because you view sexuality as a personality and a political identity

No. 254916

>>254915
also, several anons said this and that, how the fuck am i responsible for what other anons say? well of course if you follow the idea of a mob that in a group you always must think the same then of course your thinking makes sense: i am not a singular person but a part of a group, and since my ideas aren't the same as yours i must be part of some "other group" like bisexuals in this case. you cannot see me as a individual because you are so much into the idea that belonging to some group of people means that everyone in that group must think the same. polilezzie shit.

No. 254917

Why is dicksucker or cockbreath even insulting to bisexuals? call me pussymouth all day, I am proud of it.

No. 254919

>>254917
oh now we're at the "i was just acting retarded" part of polilez bullshit.

i dunno you seem to think calling women dicksuckers is hurtful enough since you wanna use those words as insults towards other women, don't try to act as if you never thought you weren't trying to hurt others when you used those words. we live in a culture in which women are made feel dirty and disgusting about their own sexualities and reducing women into nothing but "dicksuckers" or "cockbreaths" is also centering those women around men, that they as persons are nothing but servants to males and their cocks.

and speaking of insults, rugmuncher was/is an insult that lesbians heard very often and lesbians were insulted for wanting to lick pussy but hey if being a lesbian is nothing but an online identity for you i guess you never ever had to hear those insults. like sure i "munch the rug" but still people who called me a rugmuncher used that word to insult me, to make me ashamed of my sexuality, to make me seem perverted etc no matter how that describes my real sexual behavior. they meant to insult and shame me, you meant to insult and shame others at least be honest enough like the homophobes who happily admit that they invent and use words like rugmuncher to insult others and don't try to act coy like "well how is calling women cockbreaths insulting anyone" fucking own it at least coward

No. 254920

File: 1649371020588.jpg (33.48 KB, 735x431, 58b17702e63cf0104b966ae1fd1a5e…)

Everybody shut up and look at this

No. 254921

>>254920
That’s pretty cool

No. 254922

>>254919
Funny you're calling everybody in this thread a polilez when these screeds of yours are straight out of an Andrea Dworkin essay.

No. 254923

>>254922
never read her books but i guess you are familiar enough with her work to make conclusions kekkkkkkkk??

No. 254926

File: 1649371856834.jpg (678.64 KB, 2048x1724, 1172902_743728178971027_172602…)

>>254923
offtopic but andrea dworken never even been translated to my language now that i googled her smh should have been born 40 years earlier and i could have been a feminist scholar

ANYWAY let's talk about happy stuff i post granny dreams of life being together with your wife pictures

No. 254927

File: 1649371913300.jpg (119.38 KB, 500x705, 8_gummor.jpg)


No. 254928

File: 1649372004772.jpg (36.13 KB, 293x419, 64_gummor-293x419.jpg)


No. 254929

File: 1649372111101.jpg (175.14 KB, 350x500, Inge_Look_17 Dancing.jpg)


No. 254930

File: 1649372154008.jpg (942.08 KB, 818x1160, scan0008.jpg)

>>254929
i want this life so much

No. 254931

>>254930
one day this will be us anon

No. 254932

>>254926
>>254923
Excuse your ignorance, but as a lesbian it's pretty hard not to know what a feminist lesbian is and who their influences are.

Why? Because your types have invaded our community since the beginning of time to be the shining lights and anti-misogyny guard dogs for the poor minority of women who suck dick. Yes, straight and bi women tend to suck dick. Sorry that trigers your polilez spidey senses.

Keep writing essays about real lesbians being men lite or incels because lesbians are grossed out by their girlfriends lying about their sexuality and cheating, or because lesbians can beat lesbophobes at their own game by dishing out some deserved backlash, cheapshots or not.

We don't exist for you - or the victims of men that you're whiteknighting - to escape the evilness of men which you just ranted about here like a safe space. Lesbianism isn't your radical feminist haven where we have to accept being stepped on because a man was mean to you once and lesbians standing up against your bullshit reminds you of it. Get help.

No. 254933

File: 1649372319555.jpg (184.4 KB, 350x500, 26-Howling.jpg)

>>254930
i can post more of this artist if you want but if you don't like them sorry for the spam but this is like my granny dream to have a wife to have fun with as a granny

No. 254935

File: 1649372443818.jpg (78.69 KB, 500x705, 22_gummor.jpg)

>>254932
>Keep writing essays about real lesbians being men

never did, you are letting your own insecurities speak again. blahblalbhalblah we dont exict to you blaablaa paranoia shit just because i said that calling women cocksucker is wrong take your victim shit and shove it up your ass idiot

No. 254936

File: 1649372653893.jpg (69.25 KB, 700x700, 61-old-ladies-sliding-down-the…)


No. 254937

>>254935
>Keep writing essays about real lesbians being men lite or incels because lesbians are grossed out by their girlfriends lying about their sexuality and cheating, or because lesbians can beat lesbophobes at their own game by dishing out some deserved backlash, cheapshots or not.
Try harder.

In the future, avoid butting into /lg/ conversations that you're not a part of, just to use single words from them as an excuse to spam unrelated tirades for days, and then pretend to act surprised when multiple people tell you you definitely don't understand what was happening and only sound deranged.

That way you won't be warned by a mod for infighting once again.

No. 254939

File: 1649373073618.jpg (50.5 KB, 350x500, gfgdfg.jpg)

>>254937
perhaps multiple people are idiotic and at least it is me who actually has dreams of growing old together with a woman i love! report me again for saying that calling women cocksuckers is wrong lmao polilezzie

No. 254940

>>254939
I have to give you credit for how dedicated you are to projecting.

>>254440
Why does every BPD chan on this board type exactly the same too? I always get a good laugh from the frenzied low caps stan twitter girlboss hysterics.

No. 254941

File: 1649373448999.jpg (41.71 KB, 293x419, 66_gummor-293x419.jpg)

>>254940
bpd obsession kinda screams like projection, once again, black and white thinking. you cannot accept that people who share your sexuality could have different opinions from you

and i at least tried to bring this thread into more positive place with my art posts but i guess it is in vain! anyway

No. 254942

File: 1649373664861.jpg (295.24 KB, 693x1000, melaughingat.jpg)

>>254941
be happy and become a granny with your wife like i said this is my dream life to be fat and old and wrinkly and happy

No. 254944

>>254941
When at least three different anons can see the BPD in you from miles away, it's time to take your fingers off the keyboard for a second. Just one second.

And your self-righteous feminist lectures against lesbians - for not coddling bisexuals being lesbophobic - rest on your own inability to accept lesbians have different opinions from you on these subjects, and cries of "but I'm defending women from misogyny by calling you incels" aren't your get out of jail free card for literally just defending lesbophobes from backlash.

You do not even understand what the conversation was because your personality disorder wasn't part of it before it started bombing the thread to shreds with buzzwords.

>and i at least tried to bring this thread into more positive place with my art posts but i guess it is in vain! anyway

You mean by continuing to spam? The past 20 shitposts are yours.

No. 254945

>>254944
me: "calling women cocksuckers is wrong"
you: AAGAHGUHAHGAHAH BPD BPD INSANE ALSSADHSDGDSAJ

look i don't give a shit what you mentally ill women think, i know i am right: insulting women is wrong, no matter what great cause you have behind those insults, i don't create all these conspiracy stories inside my head about you or anyone else. i just say: insulting women with terms like cockbreath is wrong, never questioned are you a woman, never came up with these conspiracy theories of you being a kiwiperson or something, or being a person from some other thread

i just judged your behavior in this thread, called a spade a spade, you throw a tantrum, put words in my mouth, form whatever enemy image of me about me inside of your head

because i said calling women cocksuckers isn't very nice

lol

No. 254946

File: 1649374566296.jpg (597.75 KB, 853x1200, juliste3toonattu-1.jpg)

anyway i came back to post more art

No. 254947

>>254919
>you meant to insult and shame others at least be honest enough like the homophobes who happily admit that they invent and use words like rugmuncher to insult others and don't try to act coy like "well how is calling women cockbreaths insulting anyone" fucking own it at least coward
"hOmOpHoBiA iS bAd sO wHy ArE yOu BeInG hEtErOpHoBiC hYpOcRiTeS?"

No. 254948

File: 1649374629824.jpg (604.34 KB, 842x1200, julisteystavat.jpg)


No. 254949

File: 1649374667130.jpg (210.01 KB, 1200x847, 1920-rotated.jpg)

>>254948
art

>>254947
unhinged. lol?

No. 254951

uNhInGeD HeTeRoPhObEs EvErYwHeRe!

No. 254952

>>254947
like you are not actually responding to things i say but things you think i say? my esl of course makes my words unclear but my point wasn't anything about heterophobia?

weirdoes you are

No. 254953

PrOtEcT cOcKsUcKeRs FrOm RuGmUnChErS!

No. 254954

File: 1649374868619.jpg (302.6 KB, 859x1200, kuningattaret.jpg)

>>254951
unhinged? lol. you are not arguing with me but with some imaginary person?

No. 254956

File: 1649375108040.jpg (668.37 KB, 631x863, Inge_Mummot_34.jpg)

>>254953
this is legit weird behavior like i might have beenb funny funny womaning here before but you are WEIRD

No. 254960

File: 1649376421452.jpg (94.19 KB, 803x696, 1633904120366.jpg)

Both of you shut the fuck up.

No. 254962

File: 1649376551405.jpg (60.97 KB, 350x350, chuisvenue_kansi_web-350x350.j…)

i'm screaming because of this thread i was trying to find work from this one lesbian artist from my country but instead i found this many years old article from this one person i know in real life in one of my country's biggest newspapers talking about how she is a lesbian who fell in love with a man?

okay i gotta admit i understand why people are so paranoid but oh my god lol never thought that she would be like that

but i try to bring more happy things so more art

No. 254963

File: 1649376666969.jpg (72.14 KB, 463x750, ccd6d543f04bdd05b3839e60eab50a…)


No. 254964

File: 1649376758074.jpg (184.61 KB, 1125x1402, 0c608f7ee72d1d1668d9043700cded…)


No. 254965

File: 1649376891263.jpg (41.26 KB, 405x382, fdfwf.jpg)

>>254964
"for hygienic reasons i will become a lesbian"

No. 254966

File: 1649376968580.jpg (281.51 KB, 1280x1214, EoPqr-LXEAAsRZn.jpg)


No. 254967

File: 1649377061432.jpg (75.91 KB, 596x800, e93d070551c376f70537cb5c113bea…)


No. 254968

File: 1649377153015.jpg (71.19 KB, 504x672, DqHctf1XgAAdvpX.jpg)


No. 254970

>>254968
oh yeah did you know smoking was seen as a lesbian thing one point so in old movie smoking woman was a dog whisle for a lesbian

rökande kvinnor är lesbiska

No. 254971

File: 1649377960346.jpg (1.29 MB, 1230x1875, sub-buzz-21767-1504140281-5.jp…)


No. 254972

File: 1649378070165.png (154.52 KB, 454x463, 5b494f85a310796d8b4bbbdc.png)


No. 254973

File: 1649378307328.jpg (358.59 KB, 1024x1014, cowcig.jpg)

>>254949
love this art, anon. keep em coming

No. 254976

File: 1649378860431.jpg (71.92 KB, 407x600, tiitukunst.jpg)


No. 254979

File: 1649379027342.jpg (303.33 KB, 862x1280, tiitukunstt.jpg)


No. 254980

File: 1649379275537.jpg (86.39 KB, 350x494, i-ringen.jpg)

>>254979
this artist made a lesbian comic but i don't know if it is in english?

No. 255053

Ily, artposting anons.

No. 255082

Gf left her facebook account logged in and i read her old messages with her ex and now i want to kys. I hate myself for invading her privacy and these messages make me want to vomit. Why am i so stupid

No. 255084

Fina bilder, nonnisar!

No. 255092

>>255082
I prescribe you eat pussy. You're gonna be okay.

No. 255192

File: 1649449611627.jpg (647.14 KB, 2560x1704, GettyImages-1205358157.jpg)

at what point do you consider age gaps to be problematic in a lesbian relationship? 5, 10, 15, 20+ years? do you think is the same as heterosexual relationships?

No. 255212

>>255192
It's not the same as het age gaps. If both parties are past their 20s it's not really problematic imo, but while in one's 20s it's important to avoid age gaps bigger than 3 years imo. I personally don't like the idea of dating someone other than my peers.

No. 255215

>>255192
Even though I know it happens, I don't think women generally can be as predatory as older men dating younger women. But for example someone in their late 30's dating a girl in her early 20's for example is sketchy in other ways, it makes me wonder if she has some emotional problems that cause her not to connect with people her own age, not that she's outright exploiting the younger girl like a man would. But stuff like someone in her mid 20's dating a woman in her early 30's isn't problematic at all to me. It depends a lot of the context and their age group, like once you reach your mid 40's there doesn't seem to be a limit to how much older your partner is.

No. 255280

File: 1649464146634.jpg (63.7 KB, 604x368, kathy.jpg)

>>255192
I'm 18 but mostly attracted to women who are 45-80. I don't think age gaps are inherently bad if the younger person is over say 25, so right now (even though it's my fantasy) I'd side eye the shit out of a 50 yr old lez who wanted anything more than a one night stand. I can't wait to get older lol, women only get lovelier with age

No. 255307

>>255280
Are you saying you would date someone up to 80 years old?!? Not judging I just couldn't see myself
dating anyone as old as my mom or older than my grandma. I'm in my early 20s and would probably only date someone in their early 30s at most.

I saw a video with a large age gapped couple they were getting a lot of flack because they wanted to have a baby. People were more mad about them wanting to have a baby with their age gap than they were about them being a lesbian couple which is kinda funny, no one bats an eye when there is a big age gap hetero couple and the moid accidentally gets the younger girl pregnant, if there's nothing wrong with that what's the problem with this?

No. 255332

>>255307
Probably healthier than basic age gap hetero couple where moid gets the girl pregnant to trap her or has a weird fertile young girl fetish and only uses her for that. Ew.
>>255280
You and me both, anon. It's one of the reasons I'm not afraid of aging, I see older women as beautiful and every sign of aging only adds to women's beauty.

No. 255344

any nonnas from Portugal here, how's the gay scene over there?

No. 255352

>>255344
Not from Portugal but it would be funny to be a lesbian from Lisbon. It sounds right. Or from Lebanon, or Lesbos.

No. 255370

>>255352
kek, love it

No. 255371

>>255280
45-80 ?! Do you imagine having sex with a women this old ?

No. 255381

imagine growing old with the woman you love and being a couple of 80 years old in your house accompanied by your pets

No. 255398

All the boob talk in the other thread got me thinking… I'm not really into boobs that much? Is it strange to be attracted to women but not particularly interested in a defining female trait. Like they're nice but I have no particular preference for breast size or anything. Maybe because I have boobs and see them everyday and I don't view them sexually just something that's there kek. I'm more attracted to gruff feminine voices or nice arms than boobs tbh

No. 255405

>>255398
I like how big boobs look aesthetically in clothes but it's hard to be aroused be actual nude big boobs? I don't know I'm olga tier muscley with big boobs and prefer small petite women so it's probably why, they're just a lot easier to play with and it feels more intimate to play with small breasts

No. 255416

>>255398
It's not weird, everyone's interested in something different. I'm a leg person mainly but I'm also obsessed with my girlfriend's breasts now, especially her nipples. The nipples for some reason are incredibly cute to me. I'm not into prominent butts because I have one, it's just not appealing to me lol. Generally I like women that don't look similar to me, I think.

No. 255419

>>255381
nooo anon…i want this so badly. i want our hallway to be filled with pictures of stuff we did together, and to slow dance in our living room in candlelight
>mfw i just realised im describing Ellie and Carl from Up if they were lesbians
>>255398
when i was growing up i remember being like 'omg booba booba' and now i still appreciate them, it's just a little calmed down. i do think we get used to our own bodies. anyway i've become a thigh enjoyer but if i really like a girl everything she does is attractive and looks matter less

No. 255426

>>255416
Lucky you anon, I'm a sucker for cute little nips too, everyone just focuses on size so much but something is especially arousing when you play breasts that very aesthetically pleasing in ways other than just size

No. 255428

>>255405
I feel this way about nudity too, I took a bunch of art classes and I don't really view a fully nude body as inherently sexual or provocative like moids do, it's literally just the human form. I think it's hotter if someone is halfway in their clothes if that makes sense. I saw this female firefighter in the store the other day halfway in uniform doing casual shopping and thought that was extremely attractive to me.

>>255416
I wonder if we're attracted to traits we don't have, like I used to want darker skin so bad and now I find tan skin super attractive. I'm also kinda average height and like taller girls, but I'm not picky about heights either.

>>255419
Yes personality makes or breaks attraction for me, it doesn't matter if they are cute if they are annoying. But their appearance can grow on me if I like their energy. I still do hope whatever physical traits I have someone will enjoy and i will enjoy hers too

No. 255435

>>255428
I've seen so many lesbian couples around town and on insta where they literally look like twins both in style and appearance so I think some are really into twinning lol. For some reason the twinning ones are usually dye blondes with tan skin or brunette mullet enbies.

No. 255439

>>255398
I never cared much for big boobs until I met my current girlfriend, now I'm obsessed with hers, I find them so beautiful and sexy. but in general I don't go around noticing women's boobs

No. 255572

>>255398
I'm more into toned butts and bellies/soft abs. The things a toned tummy does to me…

No. 255576

File: 1649605017403.jpg (46.9 KB, 564x705, 539b52c02b8f9d5ff5a813fa380143…)

I have a faint memory of this being discussed before but do you nonnies think you can be butch with long hair? I usually identify as butch due to having masculine mannerisms, way of dressing and all the other things but I like keeping my hair at almost waist length. I don't feel long hair is necessarily "effeminate" because plenty of masculine men like to grow theirs out but very often the classification seems to be based on hair length (I'm also a bit of a metalhead so I'm biased). I used to date a girl who had short hair and despite dressing and acting super feminine she was read as a "butch", does having long hair but otherwise masculine vibe just automatically make you "just" a tomboy or a futch?

I'm probably just insecure but I often feel like the cute girls I meet are borderline disappointed that I sport long hair because they want a Male Light complete with an undercut and a pair of gigantic biceps.

No. 255577

>>255576
Who cares. Just be yourself and stop worrying about labeling your style. You will find a nice girl one day, do not worry.

No. 255579

Is it just me or does everyone in /clg/ sound like a retard. Same with Lchat but at least they make a little more sense

No. 255584

>>255576
For me yes the girl you posted is "butch".

No. 255587

File: 1649607565912.jpeg (194.86 KB, 1557x2000, image.jpeg)

>>255576
Butch to me doesn't mean short hair and cargo shorts, it can be more of someone's mannerisms or they way she talks. Long hair length isn't always associated with masc/femme energy just as an example Audrey Hepburn characteristically had short hair and I doubt anyone would call her butch for it.

No. 255588

>>255579
what is /clg/?

No. 255589

>>255588
cis lesbian general on 4chan

No. 255590

>>255576
The hair alone doesn't make or break it but like you said to outsiders it can often be the very first thing they see. I'd never look at a woman in a dress with a pixie cut and think 'ah yes butch' but I feel like some men might manage to. It's a combination of things that come together.

Maybe getting ot but butch mannerisms and body language like in that pic.. I'm butch leaning myself and I sometimes get second hand embarrasment from how ott some womens masc body language is. Idk why I get like that but I do. It's not like I don't have a bit of it going on myself but sometimes it reaches a level that feels too put on?

No. 255602

>>255579
Because there are no lesbians left in that thread, it's the people who couldn't get into the discord server aka trannies and that one crazy bisexual tripfag

No. 255624

>>255590
i don't see how that pic is OTT

No. 255640

>>255590
idk, i date butches almost exclusively and i think it's kind of cute. it's a social signifier like any other, so it makes sense that they want it to be immediately noticeable - even when they're obviously playing it up i think it's more endearing than cringy
i'm not trying to condescend or armchair psychoanalyze you or anything but it sounds a little like you're worried other women will see you the way you see them.

No. 255642

>>255587
Yeah it often just feels like butches are expected to cut their hair short as some sort of a lesbian coming of age ritual. Like you have to either have the very short fuckboy haircut or become a full blown femme, there's no in between. Maybe it's all in my head though.

No. 255760

>>255576
butches with like. buns or braids in sportswear are very attractive to me.

No. 255794

>>255590
I've noticed the performative thing too but I don't think it matters that much. Femmes also do performatively feminine things, it's just a matter of some people finding those things sexy or endearing. Don't get in your own head about labels and outside perception imo, if you think it's too much of a larp then just do less and act the way you find comfortable. I promise you it's fine.

No. 255846

File: 1649706785284.jpg (62.74 KB, 1280x720, FKebLfzXEAYOc0l.jpg)

I'm fucking tired of people policing what lesbians can and can't do. Why are we always living in other people's heads rent free? The only people that should be concerned with what lesbians are doing are other lesbians. Fucking exhausting.
Picrel whenever a lesbian mentions doing anything at all to men, bis, hets, troons, and normie women.

No. 255853

>>255590
I agree. It's so forced sometimes.

No. 256331

When do you think spicy straights will stop fetishizing being gay? I want it to end so badly. Is it going to end when they make normies start to hate lesbian and gays again?

No. 256332

>>256331
It almost seems a bit like blackfishing or asianfishing sometimes. If it was possible to call them out about it maybe things would be a bit different

No. 256435

>>256331
I'm more pissed at people using "lesbian" and "bisexual" like they're interchangeable words. No Becky, you can't call yourself a lesbian when you're very loudly into men as well, because this enforces the false myth that lesbians will indeed "turn around for the right dick" like the homophobes like to say.

No. 256570

>>256331
God I hope it's soon. Normies already hate lesbians and gays kek so it's not like that will change

No. 256749

File: 1650100227918.jpg (79.92 KB, 564x1002, 3c90d1b5e0f265a18efd72fb1dfe4a…)

Related to the discussion above but god, I need to vent. I fucking HATE it when obvious bihets butt in to the discussion about LGB rights to act like bigoted straights. You know the type, the one who says shit like "I agree that Pride is unnecessary, gay people have enough rights already" and "I'm bi and I don't mind homophobic jokes tee hee" or "I'm bi and I agree that LGB people are encouraging dangerous heterophobia". Sis you have been dating men exclusively for the past decade and you're engaged or married to a moid so keep your fucking mouth shut. You have never been subjected to legitimate homophobia and this """hate from the LGB community""" you get for being """bisexual""" is because you're a straight person completely unempathetic and oblivious to the struggles gay people face and thus unable to understand the nuance in making an ironic joke about straight people to demonstrate what gay people have to deal with on a daily basis. Not because you're """bisexual""" (or more often "pansexual") and mean lesbians and gays and other bis are bullying you for no reason at all. Fuck off.

No. 256780

>>256749

it’s always these types that never shut up about how gay they are. babe, you’ve exclusively dated men and “wanna hold hands with a pretty girl <3”. maybe kissed a girl when you were drunk. give it up!

No. 256879

How can you tell whether you are attracted to someone or you just really admire them?
i thought i just wanted to be this woman's friend but now i'm psychoanalyzing a text i sent her. i think i'm might be infatuated to her.
btw i'm not questioning, i know i'm lesbian.
>>256331
>Is it going to end when they make normies start to hate lesbian and gays again?
no, it's when the generation that calls themself queer to look quirky gets to the marrying and starting a family age. then it's not cool to be lesbian/gay anymore.

No. 256960

Guys can you review my list of names for lesbians?

>dick dodgers

>woman enjoyers
>vagitarians
>lesleys
>rug munchers
>ellens
>carpet cleaners
>lady gardeners
>french
>pearl divers
>sigma females

Which ones do you identify with the most? I like pearl diver for myself

No. 256963

>>256960
There's a lesbian bar nearish to me called Pearls.

I like >lebanese

No. 256967

>>256960
They all sound like slurs scrotes would say.

No. 256969

>>256960
>>woman enjoyers
This. But when I'm feeling frisky .. pussy faggot.

No. 256997

>>256969
Lmao the contrast between woman enjoyer and pussy faggot you’re like the jeckyl and hyde of lesbians
>>256967
Yes but the one positive about being in a minority group is that you are allowed to say more slurs, and that is epic
>>256963
>Lebanese
Added to the list and that gave me a kek

No. 257005

>>256879
It's pretty easy for me to tell because I very intensely want to touch a woman I'm interested in(don't believe in the split attraction model so for me romantic=sexual). I've not really experienced the "Do I want to be her or date her?" thing either though so maybe I'm an outlier on this front.

No. 257041

>>257005
Do I want to be her or date her sounds like a weird meme tbh

No. 257418

File: 1650361874389.jpg (266.55 KB, 1028x1455, bdp.jpg)

very nice flier i saw. i love butches in denim

No. 257519

The urge to cheat on my girlfriend consumes me more and more. My desire for her is extinguished. It has been 2 months now since we had sex. I've already crossed the line in some way by flirting with a few girls.

She's my first love, our personalities match, my friends love her and her friends love me. I'm afraid to ruin it all. I'm afraid to regret it.

No. 257522

>>257519
Don't act like a moid, communicate with your gf and control yourself dumbass.

No. 257526

>>257519
Stop being disgusting and just end the relationship.

No. 257533

>>257418
What is a butch denim party and why am I not there

No. 257538

File: 1650418535152.jpg (8.08 KB, 480x360, hqdefault.jpg)

In your experiences, which do you think is more prone to hookups, butches or femmes? I really want to just hookup with someone to get this out of my system, but I'm also at odds about my monogamous feelings, I don't want to be just an 'experience' for someone. I wish it could work out and turn into a relationship after that, but usually that's not how it pans out.

No. 257542

>>257519
Just be honest and end it, I'd be so depressed if my girlfriend talked about me like this.
>>256967
Idk anon I thought pearl divers and lady gardeners were cute lol

No. 257550

>>257519
let her go, she deserves better than you

No. 257553

Would a partner getting turned on too easily turn you off? I feel like so little sets me off these days and I'm embarrassed.

No. 257574

>>257553
personally I find it hot

No. 257580

>>257519
Why don't you talk to her and tell her you want to be intimate with her more often? Cheating won't fix your relationship issues and it'll only hurt her. I don't think you care about her anymore since you think you're entitled to cheating so maybe you should just end it.

No. 257587

>>257580
Because oddly, I’m the one not wanting to be intimate not her. And I don’t exactly know why.

All of you tell me Im disgusting and that I should dumb her but its been years we’re together. I love

No. 257588

>>257587
*I love her.

I wanted to know if there was any of you who went through a similar experience and how you dealt with it. Not judgement.

No. 257599

>>257588
we deal with it by not being pieces of shit
damn I feel bad for your girlfriend. just let her go, she deserves someone that wants to touch her, doesn't want to cheat and make excuses for it, someone better than you.
>no judgement
then stop being so shit

No. 257603

>>257587
if you really love her then you would let her go

No. 257606

>>257588
you're flirting with other girls behind your girlfriend's back and contemplating cheating on her, did you really expect not to get judgement? fuck outta here with the victim mentality, your girlfriend is the victim here. break up with her if you really love her because as other anons said, she deserves better than you and you're wasting her time

No. 257612

>>257606
I get the hostility, I'm definitely not the victim. But some qualified advices would be great. I can't be the only one to have gone through intimacy issues in her relationship, right?

No. 257613

>>257519
>>257587
Do the decent thing and break the news to her now before it escalates to you fully cheating. Being consumed with those thoughts isn't something you can work your way back from or salvage esp as you're flirting already. Be mindful of how it would feel to be on her side of things, kept in the dark about this, your time wasted. Even that is insulting. There's a reason why you're being judged, it's because she's in a worse position than you right now, you're in a position to either really hurt her or be better than that.

It always sucks to end a relationship (first love in particular) but being cheated on goes on to affect that other person for years into their future. Leaves them with trust issues and sometimes image and self esteem issues that affect their future relationships too. It's kinder to end it now because wasting her time or letting it escalate is legit a really shitty thing to do to someone. This is bigger than just you and her. This is you contemplating damaging someone in a way that will stick with them. And you've already crossed lines. Like listen to the judgement because you need to hear it.

No. 257614

>>257612
Talk it out with her. Try to find the reason why you're uncomfortable, if it's because of a trauma or something then maybe get therapy? If you randomly lost sexual interest you're either no longer interested in her or have some other mental block. Your girlfriend is probably wondering why you're not being romantic with her anymore while you're trying to look for excuses to cheat on her and even hoping anons here would validate your desires to cheat. This is such a moid thing and that's why you're getting judged.

No. 257617

>>257612
Qualified advice? 1. Keep your legs closed with women that aren't your gf 2. Think of the problem, why aren't you intimate with her? Did something happen? Do you just not find her attractive anymore? 3. Sort this shit out with her like adults

No. 257635

>>257612
>qualified advise
stop acting like a scrote and break up with her
you already hurt her by not being intimate with her and not communicating, she probably already has some issues because of it you moid

No. 257652

Thank you for your answers. Before breaking up I'm going to question myself then discuss with my girlfriend as some of you advised. Because apart from this everything is fine, we have a good laugh, plans for the future and we still have romantic moments. So I can't just leave her.

No. 257658

>>257652
You said you've 'crossed the line' with others already so just make sure to be totally honest with her about that fact. You owe her that honesty but be prepared that she may be the one leaving you.

No. 257659

>>257652
>aside from me wanting to cheat and not touching her at all everything is fine!1!1!1
kek

No. 257661

>>257659
We're still touchy-feely, we just don't make love.

No. 257663

>>257659
Kek. Tragic.

No. 257665

>>257652
I do hope you sort it out, but written like this it sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too. You may have plans with her, but you've been talking of how you've been flirting with other women and planning to cheat. You can't have both. If my girlfriend had this kind of thoughts about our relationship, I would prefer her being honest about it and breaking up rather than being blissfully unaware and living in a lie for the sake of future plans. So consider this, you should mention what you said here including the flirting with other women, then she will decide what she wants to do. As the other anon said, you owe her that honesty.

No. 257691

>>257587
So, love fades sometimes, if you think you found your good match be proactive. Try to take a break from each other whilst being entirely celibate for a good period of time, saving up your energy. Maybe get some time together to hike, or do something that gives both of you an adrenaline rush- because for some reason doing scary things can make things steamy too.

No. 257768

I was walking down the street with my gf, holding hands today. Some scrote yells "I'll fuck you and your bitch at the same time" at us. I was fucking livid and told him to kill himself as we walked away but we also wondered which one of us is the other's bitch. Weird day.

No. 257852

I really want kids someday with my gf but my country doesn't even allow women to use ivf or adopt unless they have a husband. I fucking hate it here

No. 257859

>>257768
>but we also wondered which one of us is the other's bitch.
kek. is it you?

No. 257869

>>257538
I feel like hookup culture doesn't really exist with lesbians and it's sad. I'm legitimately horny a lot of the times but I don't have the time for a relationship right now so I'm afraid of being u-hauled if I even make out with someone because that has happened in the past, even if I've made clear that I don't want a relationship. The one thing I'm envious of gay men is that they get to have a ton of sex with no strings attached.

No. 257883

>>257869
I live in an European country and have the opposite experience, I want a gf but I mostly meet fuckboys (fuckgirls?) and women that always turn out to have broken up recently and are only stringing people along for attention. Quite sad, innit

No. 257900

>>257869
I can't imagine being jealous of gay men and their std-infested asses but you do you anon
your best bet for casual sex tho is probably lesbians that are in open relationships, I see them all the time on dating apps

No. 257904

>>257859
We both agreed she's the bitch, actually. She says she likes being my bitch.

No. 257926

I confess: I love cavewomen.
Not real cavewomen. I mean Eep from The Croods was kind of a baddie but I digress
There’s this really tall and awkward girl from my old workplace. Romanian, doesn’t speak so much English. We’re the youngest there, most people our age wouldn’t work like this. And she’s so. Bloody. Awkward. Can’t make normal eye contact, can’t sit in a chair on lunchbreak without stretching her long legs in every direction. But she’s so comfortable with her gangly awkwardness, she reminds me of a cavewoman. She’s awkwardly taking up space and it reminds me of a cavewoman in a city for the first time. I can’t explain the appeal, but I became rather infatuated from afar, or close, as we sat opposite each other and she didn’t know how much eye contact was appropriate so she just stared straight at me like it was normal, no fear, but without vitriol. I think I adore awkward women. Especially when they own it so fearlessly. Gosh I want her to throw me ooga booga
Sorry in advance if this confession was bizarre and offensive.

>>257904
spicy

No. 257931

File: 1650573807547.jpg (90.61 KB, 820x635, cloris-leachman-the-croods-eep…)

>>257926
I get you
Ungaaa bungaaaa

No. 257936

File: 1650576559964.jpg (39.9 KB, 1280x720, IAMREADY.jpg)

>>257931
my body is ready

No. 258004

>>257926
Nonny, she just sounds autistic. She probably has no idea she's coming off like a 'cavewoman', I can guarantee you that would be hurtful to hear. Like as a fellow autist I also love awkward women but come on, what is this lmao.

No. 258025

>>257926
>>258004
Nonnas maybe I'm desperate and isolated, but I honestly prefer if someone loved me for being a 'cavewoman', over thinking I'm a weird uncaring bitch for being a sperg.

No. 258033

>>258025
I guess I'm desperate and isolated too nonna. Weird girl appreciation is nice to see, even if it is kinda insulting.

No. 258143

Lately I’ve been seeing the opinion in online lesbian spaces that non-goldstars aren’t real lesbians. I only heard of this from bihets who complain of how evil and dickphobic lesbians can be but now on tumblr I see it a lot.

No. 258181

File: 1650669897189.jpg (79.94 KB, 800x450, cdc.jpg)


No. 258232

>>258143
Enough. Shut the fuck up. Read the thread already.

Anyway what kinda flowers should I buy for my gf this weekend? It's out first spring together so I wanna be sweet.

No. 258242

>>258232
A big beautiful mix with lots of texture and a warm color scheme, I'm thinking white, orange, yellow, pink. Sunflowers, dahlias, daisies, wildflowers, carnations, sprigs of lavender, maybe black eyed Susans.

No. 258270

I was dating this non-binary girl (stupid, I know, but she was very beautiful) and then she ghosted me for no apparent reason. A few days later, I saw her wearing a pin of that green version of the lesbian flag that "gay" TIFs came up with. I'm so confused. I hope she isn't actually straight. I hate accidentally dating straight women. She looks completely female and dresses like a normal girl, so it is kind of funny and awfully sad to imagine that she considers herself a gay man.

No. 258271

File: 1650696742565.png (192.08 KB, 999x1500, AmoL-F16KwqUTanJ-IzTxA_1935-17…)

I'm going to suggest to my gf that we make lovers eye jewelry! I think it's so lovely and personalized and romantic, plus we can have a day where we make them together. I love her so much anons

No. 258273

>>258270
not the toothpaste pride flag.. i’m so sorry nonnie

No. 258274

File: 1650697020509.jpeg (251.6 KB, 1400x1151, eye miniature 2.jpeg)

>>258271
That's a lovely idea! I've always wanted to do the same thing.

No. 258277

>>258273
Kek, that's a perfect name, it does look like toothpaste!

No. 258284

>>258271
That's so romantic, I'm sure she'll treasure the experience and the art nona

No. 258316

File: 1650720211982.png (1.65 MB, 1112x1014, hahaha.png)

A lesbian march is taking place in Paris today. Guess who was chosen to represent it? A Muslim and a man.

Everything is fine ! Crazy how we're going backward.

No. 258317

>>258316
What a joke.
How many out and proud hijabi lesbian muslims are there btw? Considering the entire religion is based on not saying no to men.

No. 258318

>>258316
>>258317
I seriously want to cry rn, they hate us

No. 258319

I'm getting lots of notifications of likes on HER, but you can't see the entire list anymore like before. Is that some sort of tranny defense mechanism? Also thoughts on dating while (chronically?) ill? I had a healthscare where I thought I was going to die, maybe still the case, still going through testing. If it's chronic I wonder if it would be fair to put a partner through that. If it's acute and I'm fucked, then I honestly don't want to die without ever having sex again, but I don't think it's fair to put another woman through that. Even if it's a one night stand, I can imagine it's still fucked up if your temporary bed partner dies not super long after. Unless they are a tourist I guess and have no way of finding out.

No. 258323

>>258316
Fucking hell I thought things weren't too bad in France yet but it seems I was dead wrong. This is depressing. Is there even one place in the world that isn't hostile towards us?

No. 258333

>>258316
This is ironic because hijabis are literally not allowed to wear hijab in france. There are muslim girls who can be lesbians, because msot people don't really change their religion but hijabis? Definitely not. It's almost like a mockery, not allowing Muslims to dress in the traditional way anf then only using a hijabi as a lesbian caricature, which most Muslims would be infuriated over. This feels like a move to enrage minorities more than anything.

No. 258334

>>258333
Eh, you can wear hijab in France. Only burqa and niqab are illegal.

No. 258336

>>258334
Sorry for the wrong info. It's still weird they picked a troon to enrage lesbians and a Muslim woman to do the same to brown people, though. Sure there are "muslim" lesbians as there are lesbians of any religion even though all ban same sex relationships but none are religious.

No. 258525

I swear this isn’t an incel larp troll post but does anyone else feel kind of inferior to men? I’ve had three girlfriends before and one of them left for a guy and the other broke up with me because she “felt like she wasn’t in a mental place where she can date anyone” and then started dating a man not even two weeks after. I know it sounds like I’m maybe a little damaged and bitter from previous experience but how many of us has had this happen to them before? I bet quite a lot. And it’s not even like I have to say anything here about how lesbian identity seems to be disappearing because everyone would rather date men or become one.
Not to sound all r9k but I wonder if it’s because I’m too soft or something. Groomed by male dominated culture or not, it seems like women tend to crave roughness and I’m just super full of estrogen. Maybe if I hooked up with girls without getting close to them I’d care less but it’s just not very me, it seems like a scroteish kind of attitude. Sage for retarded.

No. 258528

>>258525
Nonna, I think you've really just had terrible luck. I absolutely can't stand men, not their smell, or their voices, let alone the way they look (or act kek.) I'm not really into femmes either, I just can't stand men and want absolutely nothing to do with them, I don't talk to them and I don't go into their spaces.

I'm with a longterm gf and she feels the exact same way and has since she was very young. Please believe me when I say you've just had very bad luck with women. Rough women or soft women, I would prefer ANY woman over a scrote and I think any lesbian would tell you the same.

No. 258554

>>258525
I kind of think this is a view every woman has had in teenage years/ early 20s. And then as you slowly learn to love, trust and be proud of yourself that societal pressure to look up to men and think they're always "right" goes away. Reading pink pill etc also can help not feel below men.

And some lesbians (especially young ones) like to really adhere to the butch/femme (top/bottom)dynamic. So you might feel you have to put yourself in these boxes or else. Not all lesbians are like that and would like you however you are as long as you are the genuine you.

No. 258567

>>258525
I can sort of relate. I made the mistake of sleeping with several straight bicurious women in the past and they of course all went back to men. I've only had one real girlfriend who didn't go back to men and actually turned out to be a lesbian too. Of course you're never going to be good enough for a straight woman or a Kinsey 1-2 bisexual. Even a hook up hurts when they go back to men afterwards and I started to question myself, wondering if I did anything against their consent, since they weren't really into women apparently. Other times I stopped an encounter before it even got that far, because I noticed that she's probably just straight and wanting to ~experiment~. Right after that one of my best friends decided to transition and tried to encourage me to transition too, which caused me to cut contact. Now I'm mainly angry that scrotes have it so easy and they still fuck it up. Women put them on a pedestal and will go above and beyond for them, but even washing their own ass and doing nice things for women is too much to ask. They can't give women orgasms, but it doesn't matter, even when they don't know how to use their equipment and think oral is icky, most women just prefer them anyway. Even most bisexual women do, because they're brainwashed through female socialization and there's less societal backlash when dating men. My ex is the only other lesbian I have ever met irl and I still have difficulty believing other lesbians exist due to the isolation. Going to events doesn't help much either, because you just find AGP's, straight Aidens and 'asexuals' who love talking about BDSM for some reason. What helped me were books like the Well of Loneliness, because it helps to know this is a tale as old as time and it's not just me. It doesn't change that I'm practically a (partially voluntary) femcel, but it's something.

No. 258569

>>258525
Absolutely, I've definitely developed a fear of dating over it. It sucks to put yourself in a vulnerable position being emotionally involved with a woman when there's a chance she dumps me immediately for a Nigel. I don't have anything against dating bisexuals per se but with them you know there's a 90% chance of them treating you as a temporary solution until they find a moid to marry. I'm still haunted by the girl who said "If you were a man I'd date you" to my face years ago and it triggered my then tranny period.

>Groomed by male dominated culture or not, it seems like women tend to crave roughness and I’m just super full of estrogen.

No, I think they do sincerely want to date you and other women but it's made too hard to stay in a same-sex relationship when thinking about the logistics of having children and dealing with homophobia around you. Some of the women pick the worst fucking low value males ever just because they want to be accepted in society's eyes.

No. 258589

Sorry for asking but is there still a discord? If it has verifications I would love to get an invite link.

No. 258592

>>258525
The first girl I was ever in love with left me for a man and it fucking hurt. I'm dating a bi girl now who had never dated a woman before and she tells me a lot how she feels so lucky that I validate her emotions, put effort into doing special things for her, dress up when we go out together, I give her lots of compliments, and all these things she never had boyfriends do for her and it makes me really happy. There are women out there who appreciate all the great things that come with dating another woman, don't worry.

No. 258607

>>258589
discord is for peasants, queens use the bathroom wall.
>>258592
she sounds like a very lucky lady

No. 258618

File: 1650817541009.gif (4.8 MB, 480x640, female-chad-female-gigachad.gi…)

>>258525
>does anyone else feel kind of inferior to men?
No, never.

No. 258817

>>258618
Based. We are superior.

No. 258836

tonight i randomly remembered the time when my girlfriend and i went to a gay club together, were acting all coupley together and a random lesbian at the club thought i was a straight woman and told me this much. and i was like “no i’m gay this is my girlfriend” and she was completely shocked and did not believe me. i guess looking straight ensures me safety and whatnot but it’s annoying when other lesbians don’t even believe you

No. 258857

>>258836
she was trying to make you feel bad on purpose there's no reason to approach a woman just to call her straight kek

No. 258878

>>258836
Maybe she was trying to get at your woman. "Looking gay" isn't even a thing anymore due to larping "queers", I never assume anyone is gay at this point.

No. 258987

>>258525
I don't think men are superior. However I always wanted to be a guy. I remember being 5 and wearing suits in my room imagining I was a gentleman. 20 years later I still daydream about being a man.

But I know I will never be a man. So I prefer to look feminine.

No. 259067

>>258987
oh god, you are me

No. 259104

i really hope i don’t get labelled a fag hag for this but does anyone else feel like this site is getting progressively more homophobic? i don’t harbor any misconceptions about gay men but it’s just annoying when women on here act like gay and bi men are more degenerate than straight men. moids are moids but to single out gay men for the exact same shit that straight men do and act like it’s worse is dumb. especially when straight men are the majority of men and by that metric inflict way more harm onto women than gay men. or maybe anons on here view harm done to men/boys as being somehow worse than harm done to women. idk but it’s concerning. especially as i feel like lesbians get viewed as being “on thin ice” just by association.

No. 259109

>>259104
Yes, and it has the stench of black and white teenage polilez bullshit. I don't have the need to cape for gay men but I don't have the need to really hate them either because I've sometimes found more solidarity with them than with straight women for example. Sure there are catty misogynistic gay men but just as much there are plenty of lesbians who aggressively cape for AGPs and LChat staceys who have a solid hate boner for any GNC woman. To me straight/bi men are the worst option but putting gay men in the same category is being dishonest in my eyes. Despite everything they don't have the same incentive to abuse and oppress women as female-attracted men do.

>especially as i feel like lesbians get viewed as being “on thin ice” just by association.

Ditto. It's obvious that those anons have it out for lesbians as well and consistently try to throw sly spergfits about them, but instead of claiming them as pedo degenerates they always try to force that "why are mean goldstars always bullying me, a bihet" infight even in this thread or bitch about "ugly manlike yaoibrained pornsick TIFs" when talking about tragic butches who were pressured into transitioning. Not to mention how they clearly hate troons for their association with homosexuality, not because they're psychos appropriating LGB and female spaces.

To be perfectly honest it's why I've lost more and more interest on this site. It's exhausting when the topic seems to come up more and more and you know no matter how nonchalant they try to be about it you know there's unironic homophobia hidden behind it.

No. 259110

>>259108
right and i don’t trust these straight women who claim to totally support lesbians meanwhile they’re spouting homophobic vitriol towards gay men. and the lesbians and bi women who back them up on this i pity. i think it just sucks because i will always feel a kinship and solidarity with all women including straight women but i feel like they can never really “get” homophobia. meanwhile gay men tend to understand homophobia better but don’t understand misogyny and how that intersects with homophobia. meanwhile irl the only other lesbian i know is my girlfriend so i feel like there’s no one else to bond with on this

off topic but i was recently chatting with my best friend who is a straight woman because her younger sister has come out as bi and non-binary and i was trying to explain the appeal of gender nonsense to non-straight women, especially younger girls and my friend just couldn’t get it? i was trying to explain how lesbians and bi women can feel alienated from other women and get pushed away because of the whole predatory lesbian thing but my friend just didn’t get it. she’s a big lgbt ally but i guess there’s some things she doesn’t get, just like i don’t really understand her being straight.

No. 259111

>>259104
I've had very bad experiences with "queer" and especially bisexual men and I'll of course speak up about it here because I can't talk about it anywhere else. Gay men are always seen as perfect angels too, even though they're the reason Aids epidemic killing millions like how bisexual men are largely responsible for stds getting transmitted to bisexual or straight women.

No. 259119

i need some advice. i feel like i’ve fucked up but i don’t know how to go from here. so essentially my girlfriend and i were together for one year in the same place and then due to covid were long distance for two years. in 3 days time i’m moving to her city so we can be together which is of course the perfect time for things to go to shit. we were chatting tonight about possibly getting engaged which is something we’ve discussed before. she asked if i had mentioned anything to my parents yet and i told her no. my reasoning for this is we haven’t even been in a proper physical relationship in 2 years and my parents are quite homophobic. they’ve come around a bit but i told her i would rather wait until we’re living together and settled and my girlfriend has more opportunities to come around and meet my parents and get to know them better. also out of all my cousins and siblings who live in my country, none of us have gotten married yet so i would be the first. it feels daunting.

she stayed with my family once towards the end of the first year of our relationship but i feel like they didn’t get to know her that well. i brought up to my girlfriend tonight that back then my parents had doubts about us as a couple because my girlfriend is not out to her family and can’t be. they are extremely conservative and from an east asian country which isn’t exactly the most progressive of places. and my girlfriend fears being disowned if she does come out which is why she’s planning on building up a stable career and life in another country before telling her mother but she’s also said she’s worried the shock could kill her mother and she’s not being hyperbolic here. now i didn’t explain all of this to my parents but they were a bit concerned because obviously they had envisioned for me a future of getting married to a guy and meeting his family and what not and the idea that me being a lesbian means the likelihood of homophobia preventing that is something they would have never expected for me and my future. also i just get the sense they don’t approve of her as a partner for me.

i thought this was fine but my girlfriend texted me a few hours later basically saying this comment specifically hurt her deeply. she said she could tell she wasn’t welcome when she came to visit and now she knows why. she said she understood why i didn’t tell her at the time to protect her feelings but she would have preferred i told her. now she’s saying that she’s too busy to talk to me and she’ll pick me up from the airport when i land so we can discuss this more but she doesn’t want to talk to me until then. i can’t help but feel like this is extremely childish of her. maybe i should have told her all the way back then that my parents didn’t approve of her but i didn’t because ultimately i don’t want my parents approval and i didn’t want her to feel like she needed to gain it. also i was 19 at the time and it was my first relationship. for the record my girlfriend is 3 1/2 years older than me and has had other relationships before. i don’t want this to be an excuse for my behaviour but i literally came out to my parents and extended family including my grandma for her. it put me in a situation where i felt emotionally vulnerable and subject to all sorts of annoying comments from my family about how they think it’s a phase they need to wait out and how i’m actually bisexual and will eventually get married to a man. it’s something she hasn’t had to endure because she’s not out to her family. idk. i would never pressure her to come out and have been very understanding if there’s times she can’t call or can’t see me because she has to do something with her family but it feels like she’s punishing me for my family not being accepting enough. even though we’re literally both experiencing homophobia.

anyway i don’t know what to do. she says she doesn’t want me to apologise to her but i feel like that’s the only thing i can say. also this happened 2 years ago and i can’t change the past

also my girlfriend was always pretty adamant that she didn’t want to get married and i kind of changed her mind on it but i also said tonight that as i’m only 22 it feels a bit early to get engaged and now she’s getting pissy and upset with me because i’m showing some reticence towards getting married, which is something she’s not too keen on anyway.

i feel like i should give her space and try to manage my emotions but i can’t already tell i’m going to be a wreck when i get off that plane.

No. 259121

>>259119
also i forgot to mention but she told me if she knew my parents didn’t approve of her she wouldn’t have stayed with my family in the first place. i could tell that talking to me was making her annoyed so i didn’t press this but i think if she hadn’t have met them it would have completely soured their opinion of her possibly beyond repair.

i just don’t know if telling her that what she’s experiencing now is what i’ve experienced since we first started dating. i know and have come to peace with the fact that her family will never approve of me as a partner to their daughter and i’ve extended her that grace but it’s like she can’t do the same for my family.

i don’t know. i guess i will give her space and try not to be too much of a nervous wreck

No. 259128

>>259109
>"why are mean goldstars always bullying me, a bihet"
rent free

No. 259136

File: 1650991575643.jpeg (706.2 KB, 2048x1536, 1_kAJJurY91nxR1DBId6iwcQ.jpeg)

>>259119
I'm not sure what's the "fuck up" here, but I see you're feeling bad about your situation and it's very hard for you. I feel like I'm getting two storylines here.
First one is that your gf is hurt that you haven't told your family about you two moving together, and that you didn't tell her about the hurtful comments your family has made about her. When it comes to the family comment, I think all you can do is say sorry and maybe reflect on why you feel responsible for managing others' feelings (I assume you didn't tell her to spare her from feeling bad). (I realize you said she doesn't want you to apologize - it's not unreasonable to ask her what other action you could take for her to feel heard, understood and feel better). I think this moment is not the time for you to defend your decisions. Yes, you may have perfectly rational explanations which you feel should make her understand - and they could make her understand, but what they won't do is undo her being hurt. Just be there for her and validate her feelings (it's ok she feels one way - and it's also ok you feel differently), and try not to take it personally. It doesn't (or shouldn't) mean that she thinks you're a bad person or a bad girlfriend. However, I hear that she set a boundary with you: she doesn't want to talk to you until you see each other in person. This sounds like a boundary that is hard for you to accept, and honestly, you should be open with her how that makes you feel, without being accusatory, and what would you prefer. Maybe not talk about the conflict yet, but still be in contact?

The second storyline are your grievances with your girlfriend. I'm hearing that you sacrificed a lot for her by coming out, and that you're disappointed her family is not accepting of you. These are very valid feelings and are very much worth discussing, but maybe at a different time, when you two aren't both in high arousal state, maybe even trying to "one up" the other in terms of being hurt. When people argue, I think it's important to keep in mind a singular issue, otherwise the argument gets confusing and messy easily.


Basically what I'm trying to say is: most conflicts are not about the specific things that happened but more about the feelings and thoughts that they trigger. When it comes to conflict, I like to try and use non-violent communication skills. It can be hard sometimes but also so rewarding, especially in a relationship (both person must be willing to try to use these skills though, and not fall into fallacies).
I believe you two can get past this situation, and that you can stay true to yourself while listening to the other person. Best of luck, anon.

No. 259142

why must we talk about guys on a lesbian thread lmao… no hope

No. 259144

>>259136
thank you for this well worded response. i couldn’t sleep without getting this somewhat sorted so i sent her a message and then we had a chat about this. we’ve dated for long enough that i know she likes to do this when she’s mad - go radio silent until she feels better. that’s really hard for me to do so i’m glad she went against her own preferences to talk to me.

i do realise that a lot of what i initially posted about was me making excuses and venting so i really tried hard to listen to what she wanted to say.

as it turns out she was planning on proposing to me as soon as i arrived in her city and my more flippant comments made her think i wasn’t committed to her or something. in hindsight it seems so obvious but i honestly am still in disbelief that she loves me that much. i think it was this insecurity in myself that made me reject even hoping we’d take the next step in our relationship.

anyway i’ll spare you the details but we talked for a while and got things straightened out (lol) so to speak and i think we’re better now. it’s now nearly 4am and i think i can sleep soundly.

No. 259160

>>259142
Why do we try to shut up other lesbians whenever their posts include mention of how other gays can feed into a negative view of gays in general and come back to hurt us too. Health, stigmas, social overlaps. Things that we are affected by. That's usually still relevant to the thread tbh. Being a lesbian doesn't mean pretending that men don't exist.

There's a difference between say bicurious anons shitting up the thread with 'omg I think I like a man all of a sudden, lets discuss' and what you're so upset by here. I mean anons often act like this is the relationship advice thread (which it's not) but nobody complains, we're chill.. no nitpicking.. General talk about gay community stuff though is considered a no go? How does that make sense?

No. 259169

>>259104
>>259109
Yep and yep. It's been happening for a little while now, which is really fucking annoying, and there's been a weird conservative bend happening at the same time. The two don't have to be related, but both viewpoints embolden the other to appear. So we get people shitting on gay moids and ftms for the completely wrong reasons under the guise of 'based troon/manhate.'

I only keep tabs on a few threads here anymore, because the blatant baiting/astroturfing that gets genuine responses and support is lame as hell.

No. 259176

File: 1651003549044.gif (964.45 KB, 500x282, PUCKENTINE4EVER.gif)

Now that we've established that Sam and Cat were a lesbian couple, which of the pair do you see yourself as in a relationship?

No. 259236

>>259111
speak your truth, nona! moids are moids.

No. 259273

>>259160
Yeah, men make up 50% of the world population and a lot of us have to deal with them on a daily basis and seeing how the lesbian experience of an interaction with a man is very different from a straight woman's it's appropriate to talk about it. I can't talk to my straight Nigeltending female friends about how I see men and their presence and have them understand me. Even my girlfriend is bi so she doesn't fully "get" me.

>>259169
I wonder why it's happening tbh, sometimes it sounds like a purebred scrote or an edgy cool girl and sometimes it sounds like those domineering twitter sapphics who pretend to love women while crying into their pillow for never being able to marry Jungkook. Either way I don't trust them at all when they say they're "okay with lesbians", especially how often their masks slip off.

No. 259309

>>259110
I once tried explaining the predatory lesbian issue to my friends who were lesbian, straight and bisexual respectively and only the lesbian understood what I meant. The straight and bisexual women didn't get it at all, they sincerely assumed that women could just compliment and touch each other all they wanted and never be considered rapey because that's the reality for them, not for lesbians. They didn't have to deal with being considered a rapist for existing in the same locker room growing up.

The same goes for the appeal of trooning out for GNC homosexuals, only gay people seem to fully understand the mechanics behind it. While I will always unconditionally defend women's rights and feel physically safer with a woman than a man, I still don't fully trust straight women when it comes to LGB issues. The people I see caping for trannies the most are heterosexuals, both men and women, because they don't have to deal with the full consequences.

No. 259383

I'm probably going to be flamed for asking this but is it weird to be embarrassed by not being able to fit into the same clothes as my gf? I always hear lesbians bragging about having twice the wardrobe of straight girls and whatever but I was born cursed with a flat chest and I'm like 10cm taller than her so we just can't wear the same things.

No. 259469

Anyone struggle with what you're attracted to vs what traits you want for yourself? It's stupid because I know you don't have to have a different dynamic for a relationship but I find the differences kinda cute. Like I find muscles and tomboy aesthetic hot but I am also into working out so would it be weird to find a gf like this as well?

>>259383
You don't have fit in all her clothes nonie, if you want you two could share a couple of pieces like oversized jackets or jewelry.

No. 259478

>>259469
>Like I find muscles and tomboy aesthetic hot but I am also into working out so would it be weird to find a gf like this as well?
Why would that be weird? I know that the opposite aesthetics thing is trendy and cute, but it's normal to think having some things in common is attractive. You don't have to be complete opposites, that would actually be weirder. You could workout together! Why would that be a bad thing?

No. 259485

>>259478
It wouldn't be, I just think it would be nice to admire something I don't have (or vice versa) Kinda like height differences, I don't care too much about it but it would be cute to be held by someone taller than me and she liked me for being shorter if that makes sense

No. 259523

Gals i had my first time recently and kinda feel stupid and in need of advice
So like i scratched my partner's insides to blood
she said that she didn't mind and she prefers when it hurts a little bit but uh well
I kinda do mind and it does bother me…
Do condoms help or they get torn by nails easily? Or idk maybe it really is alright to stratch someone to blood if she doesn't mind?? It sounds unhealthy as hell to me but uh maybe I'm wrong??

No. 259525

>>259523
Trim your nails short and be careful next time. A tiny bit bleeding does happen to some but you shouldn't be scratching the shit out of her. If you don't like trimming nails then you can use a toy or your mouth ofc.

No. 259526

>>259525
Ty! I'll give trimming a try.

No. 259635

lesbian girlies

No. 259957

File: 1651295160714.jpg (113.82 KB, 841x852, Im_probably_screwed.jpg)

>>258319
It's not looking good. Can someone please help me on the ethics of this? I honestly don't want to die without ever having sex again, but I don't think it's fair to put another woman through that. Even if it's a one night stand, I can imagine it's still fucked up if your temporary bed partner dies not super long after. Unless they are a tourist I guess and have no way of finding out. I don't even know how I'm going to attract anyone, I lost so much weight and muscle, I look like a ghost with a slightly yellow tinge. I'm honestly even considering contacting the lesbian escort agency, I hate that my brain even went over that as an option, but what if I don't even get to have a PCHP? I keep getting more bad news after doctors say "oh it probably won't be that bad".

No. 260000

>>259957
I think you should go for it. You want sex and there is probably a woman there who would want that with you. Don't have sex with the ones that cant handle the situation, be with the ones that can. Also, a one night stand isn't obligated to be kept in contact with. If things don't go well they aren't going to be impacted the way you're thinking if they know at all. I've had people I've known for relatively brief interactions suddenly die and while it isn't pleasant you're able to move on while appreciating the role they played in your life.

No. 260016

>>260000
Quads, so you must be right. Thanks anon

No. 260041

>>259957
agree with other anon, just go for it.

No. 260167

File: 1651353548025.jpg (40.04 KB, 735x429, 1651092554353.jpg)

>>259957
I hope you make it nona. Don't leave us.

No. 260277

>Know only a few other lesbians who haven't trooned out, the rest are """bisexuals""" in long-term straight relationships
>One of them is an obvious straight political lesbian
>Is an actual femcel obsessing over men because they don't find her desirable but "it's okay because I'm a lesbian!"
>Has had multiple boyfriends in the past and used to identify as fully heterosexual
>She's an ultrafemme, lowkey disgusted by butches and GNC lesbians and doesn't know how to keep her fucking mouth shut about it, thinks she's oppressed for "not looking like a lesbian"
>Can't go a day without bringing up how she's the most lesbianest lesbian that ever lesbianed, a lesbian lesbo
>"I would date a trans woman no problem because trans women are women!"
I'm seething so hard nonnies, lord give me strength not to snap for the last time. This thread is literally the only place where I can assume there are other gay women listening.

No. 260345

File: 1651411136171.jpg (33.61 KB, 540x521, 1561167427546.jpg)

I started to follow a smaller celebrity on social media and find her irresistibly pretty and she have a shy/akward charm and personality but is not a doormat. She very rarely post stuff or interact with fans, but commission art sometime. I was thinking about doing a drawing of her for her birthday but it's super cringe right ?
She is like the only celebrity crush I ever had who is active now and not 30+ years ago.

sage for shit blogposting

No. 260369

File: 1651414875180.jpg (500.66 KB, 1000x600, the-overrepresentation-of-butc…)

>>260277
>She's an ultrafemme, lowkey disgusted by butches and GNC lesbians and doesn't know how to keep her fucking mouth shut about it, thinks she's oppressed for "not looking like a lesbian"
I hate this oh my god. Fucking where? Where is this magical land where society respects butch lesbians more than conventionally feminine women? Where is this secret lesbian island where butches get all the positive media representation and femmes are reduced to punchlines? Is that where all the butches are hiding? Is that why I can't find any non-trans butch women on dating apps? Are they all living on the secret butch supremacy island?

No. 260386

File: 1651417725404.png (68.67 KB, 1080x2280, Screenshot_20220501-100151.png)

I'm trying to see how quickly I can get myself banned from Lex because that app isn't even good for shitposting. It's all deranged troons, slightly less deranged ftms, and really young she/theys who would probably be disgusted by actual sex with a woman, and almost everybody is overweight and/or fugly. My profile is blatantly TERFy without actually using the word and I still get random trannies like picrel messaging me. Maybe if I succeed here I will move on to trolling on Her but I don't want some creepy troon dev to hold onto my IP and account details.

No. 260400

>>260386
I feel like i had a stroke reading this what is this person trying to say?

No. 260506

File: 1651428297460.png (255.24 KB, 700x700, 1650964817920.png)

>>260277
>She's an ultrafemme, lowkey disgusted by butches and GNC lesbians and doesn't know how to keep her fucking mouth shut about it, thinks she's oppressed for "not looking like a lesbian"
Oh god. I can't express how much i hate those kind of woman

No. 260517

>>260386
What does your bio say anon?

No. 260538

File: 1651434806107.jpg (34.58 KB, 563x514, cebd26a0615786bc24fe661900824e…)

>>260167
Realistically I have a great shot due to my age and prior fitness level, but I'm just scared shitless either way due to how much I've deteriorated in just a couple months and how much seems to be affected.
>>260277
>She's an ultrafemme, lowkey disgusted by butches and GNC lesbians and doesn't know how to keep her fucking mouth shut about it, thinks she's oppressed for "not looking like a lesbian"
>"I would date a trans woman no problem because trans women are women!"
What the actual fuck.
>>260369
Oh god the Lword did butches so dirty. All we got was a troon who ended up sleeping with a man and Ivan who ended up being poly and trying to get with straight women. Shane barely even counts as some form of masc and they did her dirty too. People who complain about butches, are living in the past, which they weren't even a part of. The 40's/50's were a weird time from what I've read and femme4femme was rare in working class communities for a while, but that hasn't been the case since the 70's at the very least. Ruby Rose as Stella in OINTB was thrown out real fast, the other butch Dominga "Daddy" Duarte literally went to prison for being a pimp and getting one of the women killed after pressuring her into it. She also got other women in prison on drugs. Which is worse than whatever most of the other women in prison did. Let's also not talk about Big Boo and what they made her do with the dog and why Lea Delaria has some weird hatred of other butches (idk if she's even actually butch). They consistently do butches dirty.

No. 260561

>>260517
Not about to dox myself but I more or less wrote "I hate men". Considering just nuking the whole venture by making a post about JKR for the lulz.
>>260400
Your guess is as good as mine. I think he means he's going to attempt some sort of fertility ritual on a chaser he's been talking to but who even knows.

No. 260563

Is there significant difference between a butch/dyke/stud/tomboy? I feel like they're all describing the same 'look' more or less

No. 260565

>>260563
I guess it depends on the context. When I say "butch" I mean anything that's not outright femme, but it varies for a lot of people. Some consider anyone with long hair or makeup as femme for example even if they dress very masculine, and some consider them tomboys. Studs are practically classy butches.

No. 260569

>>260561
>but I more or less wrote "I hate men"
Lol that’s not terfy. Bihets and trannies say that shit all the time and still constantly worship dick.

No. 260578

>>260563
Butch is a lesbian identity or description and refers to a (considered by general society) masculine manner of dress and behaviour. It's more than just an aesthetic or 'look'. This shouldn't be misinterpreted as "butches have to act like scrotes", which isn't the case, but a femme with short hair is a femme with short hair, not suddenly butch. I don't know how "dyke" describes a look? Tomboy can refer to women of any sexuality, usually children, implies that it's something you grow out of, usually not seen as masculine as "butch". Often used by people who believe that "butch" is a dirty word and they think it refers to fat ugly women who don't know how to dress well; it feels like a cowardly copout. People who call everyone who wears a suit or has short hair "butch" are retarded too and should stfu, because that's not how it works.
>>260565
Stud refers to black butches specifically, it doesn't mean "classy butches". Butches can be classy too.

No. 260606

>>260538
> Let's also not talk about Big Boo and what they made her do with the dog

i can barely remember what happened in oitnb but i don’t want to know what this refers to

No. 260634

How do you navigate sex when you're both traumatized women? I can find barely any literature about this online. We never want to make each other uncomfortable, are terrible at initiating and follow through, and both experience varying/low sex drives due to past shit. I feel embarrassed asking about this but I've been too embarrassed to bring it up anywhere else.

No. 260667

File: 1651488384110.jpg (155.55 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)

>>260538
>Oh god the Lword did butches so dirty.
Have you seen any of the reboot yet? They made Shane fall in love with an AGP. Finley is cute though so I'm still watching.

No. 260723

>>260667
I thought it was an isolated hookup? Did they actually make them fall in love? Pls no

No. 260810

>be visibly gay
>make friends w straight girl
>dont even mention being gay
>she starts immediately talking about how she might be gay/gay topics like "comphet"

Have y'all ever experienced this? i feel like it happens to me every time. Like, I am not your therapist or the lesbian task force. I do not care

No. 260837

File: 1651545650764.png (38.76 KB, 1001x303, sure.png)

Pride month is one month away. Have you anons prepared your nuclear bunkers yet?

No. 260856

>>260837 Here the nightmare starts again, fuck. And like every year i ask, is that hard to make pride +18 for god's sake? So you can have all the kinky shit,the beer sponsorships and all police you want (idk you nons but personally I wouldnt take any child to an event with a lot of police presence and many drunktards,kinky degeneracy aside idk in your countries but in mine that is a recipe for a disaster) but no, is all about the greediness. The sponsors of PrideTM want to have as many potencial consumers as posible. I can't think of a more money-hungry event that pride and is nauseating.

No. 260873

>>260837
>>260856
If you're not in a big city, it's probably fairly easy to avoid, if you stay off of social media. I hope there are some nice documentaries or movies playing with not too much genderspecial stuff though.

No. 260885

>>260837
This kink at pride shit has put gay rights like decades back in conservative countries. Because of it, for the average normie homosexuality is associated with sexual degeneracy and not idk just two men living together. But westerners will never get it and will always push to be as sexually explicit in public as possible because of their own coomerdom. Even just 18+ restriction or leaving the kink stuff at bars could help but nooo. Everyone HAS to see naked men in bdsm gear wearing dildo hats

No. 260937

>>260723
Shane fell super hard unfortunately. They also added one true butch to the series but she's old and annoying and kind of an idiot. The L Word only "improved" in terms of shoving even more trannies into storylines.

>>260634
You need to work on trust first. Don't set up expectations of sex (or later, orgasm) from touches and just focus on going as far as you can handle. Talk to each other, a lot. She will need reassurance and feel bad for it, so will you. But looking in her eyes you'll find reassuring her comes easy, and she will feel the same. Imo stop escalating as soon as one of you starts getting in her head and learn to communicate that effectively. Sometimes you will misread or fail to speak up but you need to be patient and focus on feeling safe. Just support each other and slowly explore intimate interactions that feel good and safe. Trust comes first, there is no special technique that will make sex easy.

No. 260947

>>260810
Yes, this has happened. Usually when a girl has told me she’s bi or gay or something it’s because she’s letting me know she’s available, as it leads to other things, or she’s trying to relate. I don’t get why you’re pissed off.

No. 261072

>>260937
the one butch side character they added was played by Ellen Degen's ex and was questioning for like half the season lmao.

No. 261075

>>260386
Me again, I've finally succeeded in copping a ban. All it took apparently was asking a troon who was reeing about women posting things related to the Roe v. Wade vote "why [he] was so mad about women posting things related to a current event that directly affects them on an app with a large female userbase", and probably putting the word 'lesbian' in my bio and calling the troons who messaged me 'bro'. Avoid the fuck out of Lex unless you wanna see girlcock, bussy, and tenderqueer extremism.

No. 261076

File: 1651619316042.png (80.44 KB, 750x600, image0.png)

>>260386

lex has banned my burner accounts 20+ times. i dont care. i spammed their servers w accounts and set location to coordinate in antartica.

No. 261077

>>261076
>tfw no lolcow gf to troll troons with

No. 261078

>>261077
yeah girly i wrote it in python : )

No. 261079

>>261075
lex is community modded if you didnt know, which i find hilarious. direct democracy type shit where if enough people report your account you get insta-banned.

No. 261080

just occurred to me that you can probably automate the process and get a bunch of bot accounts to spam report an annoying tranny

No. 261082

I don't troll on Lex but keep it around to laugh at the cringe. I wonder if it'd be fun to have a dating app cringe thread separate to the current apps thread? I'm a bong and so far my whole experience with Lex has been

>ethically non-monogamous kweer (currently single and solo poly) who loves vegan food here for pals. talk to me about mitski and heartstopper. i'm disabled, fat, femme, anarcho-communist, neurodivergent and have autism. btw i have never been with a woman (aka birthing folk) before but would like to try it… maybe we can hold hands?

No. 261084

craziest thing i saw on lex was someone looking for a surrogate

No. 261091

At least Lex lets you block trannies without having to report them. HER doesn't even let you do that, you have to send a report in order to block someone which would out you as a terf. That being said Lex is purely a schadenfreude platform for me.

No. 261122

File: 1651639794550.jpeg (61.35 KB, 800x420, f5093fa0-3037-11ea-ba66-81d7bf…)

>>260937
They made her go from Quiara to an AGP? While I hate that Quiara constantly pressured Shane into having kids together, when it's been clear Shane is extremely terrified of that, at least she was an actual woman and quite hot.

No. 261128

there is these agp+lesbian plotlines basically everywhere in "lesbian" media, but i rarely see gay men paired up with aidens, or god forbit straight women or men paired with trannies. it's so obvious this all is just about dickpushing.

No. 261129

>>261128
A gay man being paired up with an Aiden happened in the original Lword, right? Went from butch Moira to gayden Max and it made no sense.

No. 261132

>>260937
Thank you anon, I really appreciate your advice ♥

No. 261133

>usually wear femme or potatos sack tier outfit at school
>one day I decided to wear a 3 piece suit with a pant instead of skirt because my ass is too fat for it now.
>litterally get compliment from all the bi and lesbian girls I know of in my classroom.

the search for butch lesbian is real

No. 261154

>>261133
How? I feel like everyone stopped liking butches and became femme4femme the moment dating apps became a thing.

No. 261170

>>261122
I'll never forgive them for making Shane bi.

No. 261188

Last night I had a dream that I met a beautiful girl at the store and she found out we had the same hobbies and asked for my number. I then had another dream that I woke up and still had her number so I messaged her about the crazy dream I had but then I woke up from that dream too… she looked like a young Rashida Jones lol.

No. 261290

>>260538
Don't know your exact situation ofc, but fwiw nona, I've spent the past three years caring for someone with cancer in a possibly similar situation (bladder, stage 3, she's very young for it + in otherwise good shape), and while the decline was very sharp/awful/shocking/fast and chemo/immuno made it especially grueling, she's in a much better place now. I'm rooting for you even if you did remind me how angry i am about oitnb's terrible, terrible choices

No. 261308

File: 1651704347647.gif (1.03 MB, 400x225, e69348abf15f009cedf763c8b44404…)

>>261170
The writing was on the wall already tbh from the beginning (gif related), but I hate they went that route anyway. I think Ilene Chaiken hates any kind of gnc or slightly masc lesbian and has made it her lifegoal to give the shittiest representation ever.
>>261290
I'm sorry for reminding you, kek. Thank you! I had another test procedure done today, they've taken some biopsies and the waiting game is starting again. I think they want to do a Whipple procedure, but are still looking at how much to remove. I hoped to get away with a simple resection, but of course not kek

No. 261311

File: 1651704763534.jpg (62.02 KB, 564x564, 6c407da06e44b0ff9f2c8269d7f166…)

>>261290
Also I'm glad the person you're caring for is doing better now! She's lucky to have someone like you caring for her and I hope things get only better!

No. 261369

There’s this podcast I listen to and admittedly it’s not high quality enriching content but today the one of the (gay male) hosts was making fun of the other by calling her a lesbian. It wasn’t just one throwaway comment it was like a running joke. It stopped me in my tracks and literally not one of the brain dead fanbase called them out on it. It just made me so depressed nonas. I’m 33, I dealt with that kind of shit all through grade school, high school beyond. Being seen as a joke because I’m a gay woman. Obviously I’m just going to stop listening to the podcast and move on but it was kind of a gut punch.

No. 261370

>>261369
yeah, it happens a lot. you'll be a lot happier if you just stop consuming things made by non lesbians. even within our community there are shitty actors (like handmaiden) but it's better than being mocked by people with no skin in the game.

No. 261375

>>261370
Thanks nonnie, you are right. Do you listen to any podcasts from non handmaiden lesbians? Any nonas have any suggestions?

No. 261431

>>261154
Idk my school attract strange normies so it coule be it. It's kind of funny I had to dress like a marlene dietrich cliché to have girls attention

No. 261434

>>261431
It's not a cliché when it's extremely rare. GNC women seem to be rarer in the 2020's than 1920's and practically nobody likes it anymore anyway.

No. 261472

>>261133
completely OT but damn nona, where'd you cop a three-piece suit that actually fits and did you get it tailored? i am envious (and i'm sure it looked great)

No. 261474

>>261133
>the search for butch lesbian is real
you’re not kidding. It took a long time for me to realize my attraction to women because feminine women are everywhere, but I love butches dammit!!

No. 261479

>>261472
Got it from my grandma, it's a cheaper 80's office lady ensemble but this time I had to swap out the skirt for a custom made formal pant (no ready to wear pant will ever fit me well). Honestly I'm lucky because the vest stop at my waist, and the jacket is curvy enought for my hips. Honestly a 3 piece suit off the rack can't really work for any woman who is not build like a runaway model. Appart from this jacket, the only that fit me is one I did with a custom pattern.
>>261474
True! There really need to be some kind of revival in butch fashion that is not just man sportwear or skater boy stuff thrown on a woman.

No. 261480

>>261474
Women who love butches also seem extremely rare tho. Many at most just like a femme in a suit.

No. 261542

>>247377
I am so lonely I can't bear it. Haven't been with anyone since before covid. My life is passing me by and I've never truly been in love. Each night I spend alone is a reminder that I'm wasting time. Years have passed I'm still waiting for my life to begin.

No. 261649

Made it to my 30s a virgin. Dated but never had a GF (shout out to comphet. had some scary moments with men). I feel like I can’t be arsed with dating? I just wanna lift heavy then go home and watch anime and dumb soppy movies. A gf would be nice, but i’m already so tired of online dating, if anything I’d rather meet someone without the dating, just start off as friends.

ngl nonnas if I was forever alone I don’t think It’d be all that bad? sage for rambling

No. 261683

>>261649
How did you even go along with online dating? I am 24 and a virgin and honestly I don’t even want to try to date because I am too ashamed and feel like nobody will want to deal with this mess

No. 261684

>>261649
I'm in a similar boat, and I hate online dating too. Idk I feel like all the women I'm compatible aren't on the apps anyway, I don't want a normie Tinder lesbian I want a weird introverted cat lady.

No. 261687

>>261683
I wouldn’t worry about it. Online dating if full of tims, gender specials and handmaidens anyway. Oh and spicy straights looking for threesomes
>>261684
i feel you. i want a gnc terf gf to be cat mum with.

No. 261689

>>261684
I found my dorky cat lady love on HER. I actually thought she was too shy or nerdy for me and I was too GNC for her but turns out we're a perfect match. We went out as friends but we immediately fell in love lol

No. 261690

>>261687
NTA, how gnc are we talking and how many cats do you want? I have plans on how to catify the house and place shelves all over the place and make a catio. just kidding, I wouldn't dare, but kinda sad we're all lonely on here though

No. 261699

My gf always wants inside my jacket (while I'm wearing it), has anyone else experienced this?

No. 261703

>>261690
nta but I think you're my soulmate, I wanna catify my whole house too. My dream is to have the house set up so that there are general areas but also closed off sections for guest cats (in case they don't get along with my forever kitties). My local shelter has foster programs that I wanna volunteer for.

No. 261723

>>261649
>>261689
Honestly I'm close to getting the HER app but I'm a dummy who never used dating app before. I'm scared to put my real face but I guess I'm going to change my hairstyle and crankup the snow filter for the pic so tim would be too autistic to reconize my face on my work social media.

No. 261726

>>261703
Haha, it's probably quite common to want to catify the house for lesbians, right? If you're going to foster kittens, it would be good if they are around your forever kitties though, so they can learn how to cat right. It would even work on adult cats. At the shelter we had an older grandma cat who would act like an example and had a mellowing effect on all the other cats. Somehow they all got along and it helped with a lot of their behavioral problems when they would first get in. Some closed off sections should be doable though, would also be good for quarantine purposes for the first week or two, depending on what kind of fostering you're going to do. Or if you get a FIV positive cat.

No. 261757

>>261723
who the fuck is tim

No. 261758

>>261757
I mean TIM's lol nonna

No. 261858

Maybe this is just in my area but why is every lesbian on tinder a stoner. I get ghosted a lot of the time when I say I don't do any kind of drugs. I honestly just hate dealing with high people and I could never have a girlfriend that smoked weed constantly.

No. 261861

File: 1651902342107.jpg (50.91 KB, 800x533, 384764674 5.jpg)

How do you deal with family member's passing by homophobia? Not even always directed towards you. My mom is generally an accepting person (I'm not really out to her but hinted at it and suspect she knows) but every so often will make jokes or remarks about lesbians and it kind of stings every time. Like she's pretty traditional so when she saw Jojo siwa dancing with another woman on Dancing with the Stars and said she thought it was 'unnatural' for the competition because all the other contestants were man/woman. She also believes strongly that kids should have a mother and father, not two mothers or fathers and doesn't think they could be raised right. I've never told her that if I ever wanted kids it'd be with another woman, it somehow makes me feel like I'd be an incompetent parent if I ever did want kids one day. I have other family members make fun of lesbians' sex preferences which always makes me wince like heterosexuals don't do disgusting things too?? Idk I just feel embarrassed everytime it's brought up like I'm the butt of the joke

No. 261923

>>261861
i used to think i wouldn’t invite them to my wedding but i’m just going to elope lmao

i moved away from my family and only keep in touch by calls. i never share more than i need to.

No. 262038

I want to dye my hair but I don’t want people to start asking my pronouns. It’s bad enough introducing myself by my nickname cause nobody except my parents and boss has called my by my birth name in about 20 years.

sage cause i’m just whining at this point. let me be weird and gnc in peace.

No. 262057

>>262038
What color do you want to dye it? Unless you get it cut weird most normies won't suspect you're trying to be gendery, a lot of straight girls I see have colorfully dyed hair nowadays.

I think makeup and clothes affect this though, I wore and oversized jacket and colored lipstick together once and someone had to confirm my pronouns were female kms

No. 262186

>>262057
ayrt. like a slicked back mohawk? sides are shaved in tight. and the kicker is my fav colours are green, blue (the danger hair colours) or purple.

I’m so ducking angry for you nonna. how is it lesbians have been gnc for literal centuries but it’s only of note when it’s done by non-binary/tif kids. If i wear green lipstick i don't want to be they/them’ed. I want to look like Jolyne Jostar.

No. 262222

>>262186
god it was green lipstick. I don't want to hate the color now either because I [thought] it looked cool

No. 262229

>>261861
I'm sorry you're going through that anon. My mom used to be sort of similar when I was a kid but after I came out to her when I was 17 (quite a few years ago now) she seems to have relaxed a bit with her views and is a bit of a "who cares if you're gay or straight" person. It's always possible for people to change or make exceptions I guess, but you should never feel pressured to come out or anything if you don't feel comfortable. Just remember there are lots of people out there who will understand and respect being gay and it's just a shame those voices are being drowned out by the kweerios right now.

No. 262278

File: 1651971239928.jpeg (328.68 KB, 2048x1915, FRR9lwbXwAA3DEy.jpeg)

We need more lesbos

No. 262286

>>261861
>She also believes strongly that kids should have a mother and father
How do people unironically believe this when most fathers barely spend time with their kids and screwing their mistresses instead. I've never met someone raised by two moms who said they were neglected.

No. 262315

>>262286
There's nothing wrong with single moms. I've seen masculine guys who were closeted from both their parents. Men act hyper-masculine to hide their desires away, these are the same men who compare dick sizes and talk about them more than us, and they decide to talk shit about us. Pakistan where being gay is haram, they watch alot of gay porn. this triggers me. Men place women in different hierarchies when we do more or equal

No. 262317

>>262316
go back to 4chin with your faggy fetishes

No. 262318

>>262317
avg crystal cafe user

No. 262339

>>262038
I'm embarrassed of my nickname now because I worry it makes me look like a gendie but I also haven't gone by my birth name in five years kek. Just do it anon, people will always make assumptions about you. And you're right, >>262186 lesbians have always been gnc. We're the blueprint, they're copying us. So don't let them take your self expression just because you're embarrassed you might be associated with them. We do it better lol

No. 262343

Internalized lesbophobia and somewhat explicit What is the actual difference between attraction and objectification? How many women are you allowed to be attracted to before it gets gross and a cliché? Is it bad to not have a type, but have very broad interest, from high femme to even SOME TiFs, various bodytypes? Is it objectification and degrading if you want to go down on a woman, but wouldn't want them to go down on you (I'm not completely touch-me-not, just a weird hangup)? I don't want to transition, but I also don't want to perform femininity because it makes me feel like an AGP and look like one (imo). Dressing gnc makes me feel like I actually look like a woman, because the contrast brings out my feminine features. Meanwhile if I do anything feminine, I feel like my ogre bonestructure comes right out. Same thing with short hair, I actually think my face looks more feminine and soft with short hair and less harsh and sharp than with long hair. Is not wanting to perform femininity internalized misogyny? I feel like a gross hypersexual scrote who is just larping as a feminist. How can I shit on scrotes, when I'm basically seen as scrotelite anyway and I have a very high libido? I never use misogynist cuss words iirc, I don't comment on women's bodies irl or even online really, except something vague like "oh she's beautiful". I would never talk about "owning" someone and I'm not a jealous type afaik. I don't watch porn, I've never been interested in actual porn, there's enough mainstream media which is already borderline softcore. I'd be fine with a completely monogamous exclusive relationship, but I think my sex drive is too high for that and it would've been better if I were asexual, because who the fuck would want a gross horny simp around all the time? If I were actually attractive, I would totally want to be some sort of stripper for women exclusively or even an escort (I saw something about a lesbian escort bureau on the news) and I feel like a scrote over it. I wish I could nuke my libido and become asexual. I almost feel like the polilez are right and it's better to be a cottagecore asexual, because it's hard to marry feminism and my scroteishness.

No. 262362

File: 1652003573985.jpeg (65.17 KB, 1200x600, 989.jpeg)

>>262343
>because it's hard to marry feminism and my scroteishness.
Maybe you need to step back from feminism a bit? I read your whole vent and I've had most of those feelings too. When I spend too much time thinking about radical feminism (and especially if I'm participating in radfem communities full of straight women) I end up with this weird OCD about my sexuality where I obsess over rooting out the 'problematic' parts. It's not healthy.

I don't think you sound like a scrote at all. I think you sound like a normal lesbian. Thought crime isn't actually a thing you know? You're never going to be scrotelike just for being attracted to women. Men are disgusting because they turn their thoughts into shitty IRL behavior like leering and harassing. And then patriarchy enables that shitty IRL behavior and makes it worse. It's not even comparable to you like, seeing a woman and privately wishing you could go down on her.

I'm so sorry you feel this way. I wish I could type more but I'm stoned and barely functional, I just wanted to make sure someone replied. I wish I could give you a hug.

No. 262366

>>262362
I think I've internalized it on top of the religious conservative and TRA stuff. I had supposed other lesbians in radfem spaces send me links to polilez articles, it all honestly sounds very similar and has blended together. I've left all radfem online communities quite a while ago and I try to avoid general lesbian communities too, because that is either filled with TRA's or more conservative types who think butches give lesbians a bad name and should transition already. I feel like because of the gnc/butch thing I have a bigger responsibility to root out the problematic parts, because we have such a bad reputation already. So now every time I realize I feel attracted to a woman, my mind immediately goes down the list of how I'm a fucked up gross predatory monster and I probably traumatized her with my presence, I'm being a bit hyperbolic, but it does feel that way. I know realistically speaking thought crime isn't a thing, but I remember that back in the day there was discourse about how it feels like thought rape if someone does have private thoughts like that and that it's fucked up and objectifying either way. What even is the difference between leering, staring and just looking? I try to glue my eyes to the floor or ceiling, but then I catch myself looking anyway and sometimes I think I do stare because I'm trying to get my gaydar to work and wonder whether it's just a straight woman with a spicy haircut or maybe a lesbian too. Sometimes I've complimented other women on their arms or hair and maybe that's harassment? I usually try to get away as soon as possible afterwards I probably look like a tard running away so I don't make anyone uncomfortable, but maybe it feels threatening and predatory anyway when it comes from someone like me. Your stoned thoughts were very coherent and I do appreciate you taking the time to type all of that out. Thank you.

No. 262380

>>262343
>>262366
I'm pretty similar to you, I nearly almost medically transitioned (didn't in the end, but did socially transition before moving away/disappearing). It's very tempting to take on the burden of all society's bigger problems on yourself when you begin to see yourself as male-adjacent via gnc-ism or butch-ism, especially when lesbians are shooting into hypervisibility and it's getting even harder (and weirder) to actually identify with non-traditional femininity. But I think disconnecting from radfem spaces, and really all radical thought spaces, is a good place to start. One thing I realised as I was going through a lot of similar thoughts to you was that I would always have these problems, but the more exposure you have to this kind of discussion, the easier it is to really hone in on the intricacies them and find these little shards of glass in yourself. And another thing that I had to remember is that there is so little out there about lesbians or lesbianism, so it's hard to get a read on what other lesbians actually think/feel. Certain things do make me feel like a horrible freakish predator, but then I have to ask myself: am I the only person to ever think this? Do straight women think this sometimes? Do gay men? The mind is a lonely place - it's difficult to imagine other people are not so different to yourself. But that's just my advice.

No. 262398

>>262380
I never wanted to transition really. When a fujo ex-friend transitioned when we were teenagers, I reacted really extreme to it, so it's never been an option to me. Though it doesn't matter, because people have always compared me to men anyway and everyone from christians to TRA's think I should've been a man, conservative lesbians would prefer if I'd transition, so I wouldn't give the community a bad name and add to the stereotype of the "mannish" lesbian. I don't necessarily take all of society's bigger problems on myself, but I'm worried that my existence makes other women uncomfortable and that's the last thing I would want. I've not really met another lesbian since my ex (and I dumped her to save her from my horrible monstrous predatory ass, but she turned out to actually be into women), even when going to progressive spaces. Actual bi women seem rare too. This is going to sound insane, but it makes me sometimes doubt whether others even exist. I see it online, there are some tv shows and movies, a book here and there, women on dating apps who only want to chat, but irl there's nobody. Straight women seem so unbothered, they hug each other, give each other compliments, stare at each other all they want and it's fine. Meanwhile I haven't shared changingrooms with other women since late primary school. The mind might be a lonely place, but irl is not much different in my experience. I'm not even sure whether those "other people" exist. I've come across gay men in passing, but never chatted for longer than 15 minutes. The guy who I knew for a decade and who I thought was gay, ended up being bi, so I'm completely ignorant.

No. 262408

File: 1652023710278.jpg (58.32 KB, 610x1024, 9154a41dd19ac517827c781c684483…)

This is such a retarded question but would this still be considered somewhat femme or just tomboyish?

No. 262468

>>262408
imo it reads as more tomboyish but it's mostly because of her vibe, tattooes, body type and the hand in the pockets, she is cute!

No. 262472

>>262408
if her hair was in a tight braid or ponytail i’d jump her bones ngl.

No. 262484

>>262343
>Is not wanting to perform femininity internalized misogyny?
Even if a fear of femininity in presentation does come from a place of internalized misogyny, I think a lot of women are simply afraid of experiencing misogyny from other people because of the way they look, which imo makes it completely fine to want to avoid it. Feminists before us fought for the right for women to have more freefom over their bodies, clothes included. Also, if anything, I think being gnc is very beautiful and admirable. I'm very femme myself and sometimes I do wonder if I dress how I do because I've been brainwashed by society, and I admire women who don't try to fit into that mold and just do what looks best to them.

>I don't watch porn, I've never been interested in actual porn
I actually did/do suffer from porn addiction and it really just worsens everything. I've always loved and admired other women and their bodies and absolutely hate even getting compliments from men, but it makes me feel just as bad as any man when I would objectify porn actresses or just fantasize about having consensual vanilla sex with other women. I hate being objectified myself but I also am terrified of objectifying other women even though I don't think my own thoughts would be disgusting if another woman thought of me that way. It's just an all around upsetting and confusing experience sometimes, but there are definitely other lesbians who have high libidos, I hope you can find someone who would be happy to be with you.

No. 262485

>>262343
>>262362
>>262380
Different anon but getting into the radical feminist lesbian scene on tumblr really helped me accept my identity and gnc'ness. I've never interacted with straight radfems and I don't want to, I don't think I could find a community with them and I find a lot of them veer too quickly into trad territory. How are you gonna call yourself radical while advocating for heteronormativity? Radfem lesbians are great, they've helped me accept my high libido, hairy legs, and broad interest in women at large. Radical feminism is very beneficial for all women, and radfem lesbians are good for the soul.

No. 262486

>>262484
Samefagging to add, not wanting to perform femininity is not misogynistic. The imposed restrictions and standards of femininity as dictated by men is what's misogynistic, and wanting to exist as your natural self in comfortable clothes with an easy to maintain haircut is definitely not misogynistic in the least. If some women want to perform femininity, that's fine, but femininity is not synonymous with womanhood, it is something that's expected of us.
Anon, I recognize a lot of myself in what you're saying and I can tell you carry a lot of guilt and shame. Please trust your heart and body. None of what you're describing is wrong, it's only homophobes that have a problem with what you're saying. Being able to self describe this as internalized lesbophobia is the first step towards healing. There's nothing wrong with you at all.

No. 262487

>>262343
Fuck, sorry, samefagging one last time.
I am also a horny simp. I have a wife who I love and I could cum just from eating her out. When we first got together we were having sex like three times a day. I am foolishly over the top in love with her, and before we met I also had thoughts of wanting to strip for women, serve them, be used by them. Now that I'm in a stable, loving relationship I no longer feel like a desperate horny little freak because I've learned that mutual attraction actually exists and it's not just me acting like an incel. We've both had past sexual trauma that can make things hard for us but we're understanding of each other and we make each other feel safe.
Other lesbians exist and they're horny for you as well, I promise it's a fact. It's going to get better. Please don't be afraid to put yourself out there because I guarantee you will feel so much better meeting other women like you. Nothing has helped me like finding community with proud, established, gnc lesbians. Just keep looking until you find them, whether online or irl.

No. 262506

>>262485
>>262486
>Radfem lesbians are great
>radfem lesbians are good for the soul
Nona, all I've gotten from radfem "lesbians" are polilez articles and constant shaming. There's an approved gnc uniform, but anything more gnc or overtly masculine than just being lazy, is seen as male aligned. You're also still expected to perform some femininity to fit the uniform and there is a list of approved behaviors that comes with the uniform. Handing a tissue to a femme or opening the door? You're upholding heteropatriarchy, infantilizing her and oppressing yourself! Getting sent Bev Jo articles and podcasts, where she talks about how anyone can choose to become a "Lesbian" and having her kiss Terri Strange's ass. You can have a sex drive, maybe once a month, but you HAVE to let other women go down on you or you're basically a trans man already! If you're attracted to overt femmes? You're practically a scrote, that's male gazey, go think about what you've done! Attracted to TiF's? Straight to the gulag with you! You can only find other enlightened radfem "Lesbians", woman-identified-women attractive and whether it's a butch or a femme, they uphold heteropatriarchy and aren't true woman-identified-women. Also if you're not an open terf everywhere, you're not even a true "Lesbian" don't you know?! Nah I don't think I can be around radfem "Lesbians" (you have to capitalize the l don't you know? To signify how you're better and different from those "lifelongs" who didn't CHOOSE to be a Lesbian!!). They even tried to pressure my bi friend into identifying as a lesbian, because if you know you're bi, you must be a disgusting slut who is open to men, you have to call yourself a lesbian to signify you're not open to men! Can't just call yourself febfem! I swear straight radfems are more sane than them and any actual non-polilez lesbians run away very fast and don't last long in such an environment.
>>262487
>Please don't be afraid to put yourself out there because I guarantee you will feel so much better meeting other women like you.
Well radfem Lesbians aren't like me, because I didn't choose any of this and I don't want even more pressure to hyperanalyze everything I do. I'm glad you found happiness and all that, but those radfem communities are a minefield. I'll have to look in other places which aren't explicitly radfem.
>>262484
>and sometimes I do wonder if I dress how I do because I've been brainwashed by society
Humans have been painting their faces and decorating themselves since the very beginning. I think even if we were on a planet with just women or with no patriarchy or whatever, you'd still have women who would dress in what we consider now feminine. Crows like shiny things, humans can like shiny things too and put it on themselves. I hope you'll recover and will no longer feel shame from it. I lucked out, but it's difficult to avoid porn in today's society™ and even mainstream media seems to be full of borderline softcore stuff. it's not your fault!
>I hope you can find someone who would be happy to be with you.
I feel like I'm too late, I don't know how long I have left, whether I can even recover and I'm probably spending the rest of my 20's in treatment and what if I need chemo and it'll wreck me even more? I'm already not very attractive, have low confidence and a femcel attitude, so I've kinda resigned myself to the fact that I'm probably going to stay alone. I don't even want to go on dating apps anymore, I'm gross skinnyfat and look like a junkie teenage boy since I lost weight, full of bruises and a sickly skintone. I feel guilty anyway for not having my priorities straight. Why is this the thing that bothers me when there's so much other shit about life I'll be missing out on? It makes me wonder if I deserved this, for being this messed up. Like karma for being a coomer.

No. 262678

>>262506
What you wrote about radfem "lesbians" is so spot on. I actually came out feeling worse about my sexuality after spending a few months on the radfem scene. I remember talking about extravagant fashion purchases with one woman and I mentioned getting expensive designer boxers as a treat and she flipped the fuck out on me telling me I'm gonna troon out and I'm a misogynist for preferring male styles of underwear. Absolutely batshit insane and that's the tip of the iceberg for the mad shit I heard from these women. I agree with a great deal of their politics but you could not pay me to hang out with radfems again. I don't even want to label myself a radfem or radfem adjacent, lest I attract more polilez freaks.

No. 262733

i want to be like 19 bmi before I start dressing butchier

No. 262734

you girls have radfem circles? damn, I struggle to find a lesbian triangle around me I can't imagine having options for cliques

No. 262754

>>262734
Finding radfems who larp as lesbians is easier than finding actual lesbians somehow. I even went to a party in a progressive area a couple months ago and the only technically lesbian women I saw, were TiFs with a beard and everything. Every androgynous woman I came across was a straight Aiden and thought I was one too for just being a babyface butch. The only person I came across who was actually into women, claimed to be asexual, while also talking about going down on women and playing choking games with her friends. Though I don't know if she meant an actual woman or an AGP, because she was sitting next to one. I feel so fucking out of touch, they were older than me, practically millennials, but they were acting more like zoomers than me the zoomer. I feel like a fucking boomer in comparison. A gay guy took pity on me and was the only one who actually recognized me as a normal butch woman. I think I maybe saw one butch4butch couple leave early on from the corner of my eye. Why is it so fucking difficult to find other lesbians? They're not with the radfems, not with the queer TRA's, I feel like everyone is already coupled up and hiding in their bunker in pure bliss.
>>262678
They also freak out if you want to read about lesbian history, because they are deadset on the narrative that true lesbians didn't exist before them and that they invented being gnc. Sharing fucked up articles with a religious undertone some polilez writers were theologians, there's a reason polilez lesbophobia is similar to what religious nutjobs preach is fine, but please don't read about female masculinity or lesbian history, because that is icky!! Their politics are fine on the surface, but for some reason they want to control the tiniest details because of the "personal is political" thing, everything is under a catholic-guilt-like scrutiny. It's how you just know they're not really lesbians, because if they were, they'd know that we are already hard enough on ourselves and don't need even more of that shit, we already got enough shit from religious conservatives and all sorts of lesbophobes screeching about how we're wannabe men over a clothing item.

No. 262833

This may be a unpopular opinion here, but polilez can go to hell. They're not my alies, or my friends let alone possible partners. (untreated) Cluster b women are already a rampant problem in the lesbian dating scene or just the lesbian spaces in general, i don't need straight cluster b women shitting things even more because they're bored.

No. 262834

>>262678 that is why i stopped associating myself with radfems and feminism as a whole too. Is just not worth it in the long term

No. 262841

>>262506
I'm sorry my suggestion wasn't helpful anon, I didn't mean to bring back any bad memories for you. I've never had this experience before honestly, the radfem lesbians and bi women I know are really nice understanding people and are strongly critical of the type of behavior you describe. Maybe I was wrong to suggest seeking out a certain group, I more meant to look for other women who are proud of their sexuality, who value and center other women and their autonomy. I hope things get better for you. We don't deserve the harsh scrutiny we receive.
>>262754
>>262833
I'd never heard of them before this thread, is this like a new tier of separatism? "Choosing" to be a lesbian because you hate men? Why not just be celibate, I don't understand this.
>>262733
Fuck that.

No. 262854

>>262833
I hate that sexuality is tied to political identity, ffs. I don't like associating with the lgb community sometimes because it's so tied to other politics. I get that it had to be in order to have like marriage rights and to not be killed in the streets, but making it revolve around every othe aspect of your life is crazy.

I live my life in the closet mainly because of this and never bring up my sexuality unless its relevant because I don't view it as my whole personality, literally just as who I want my partner to be.

No. 262866

File: 1652207756555.jpg (981.27 KB, 2218x1590, polilez_collage.jpg)

>>262841
Sheila Jeffreys, Julie Bindel, Andrea Dworkin, Mary Daly etc. are political lesbians.
>Political lesbianism originated in the late 1960s among second wave radical feminists as a way to fight sexism and compulsory heterosexuality. Sheila Jeffreys helped to develop the concept when she co-wrote in 1981 "Love Your Enemy? The Debate Between Heterosexual Feminism and Political Lesbianism"[3] with the Leeds Revolutionary Feminist Group. They argued that women should abandon support of heterosexuality and stop sleeping with men, while encouraging women to rid men "from your beds and your heads".[4] While the main idea of political lesbianism is to be separate from men, this does not necessarily mean that political lesbians have to sleep with women; some choose to be celibate or identify as asexual. The Leeds Revolutionary Feminist Group definition of a political lesbian is "a woman identified woman who does not fuck men". They proclaimed men the enemy and women who were in relationships with them collaborators and complicit in their own oppression. Heterosexual behavior is seen as the basic unit of the patriarchy's political structure, lesbians who reject heterosexual behavior therefore disrupt the established political system.[5]
Many of them never slept with women or even dated women, but still claimed to be lesbians, like Dworkin (love a lot of her writings, but she was a polilez). The ideal lesbian to them doesn't sleep with women, but just has a friendship and does some handholding once a month. It's also btw why Julie Bindel tried to convince JK Rowling during that lunch that she could choose to be a lesbian. That sadly enough wasn't a joke. It's not a "new" tier of separatism, is the original kind. "Lesbian feminist" is generally code for polilez and "Lesbian feminist" theory is ironically enough vehemently lesbophobic. A lot of radfem "lesbians" aren't actually lesbians, but people don't notice that when they just reblog memes and some fun quotes, but never read where those came from. Picrel some online polilez retardation, sorry for the shitty collage.
>>262833
A polilez as a partner sounds like actual hell, being constantly shamed for your sexuality and actually being attracted to your partner.

No. 262870

>>262866
Dworkin was together with Jan Stoltenberg though. Did she really id as lesbian?

No. 262874

File: 1652208691107.jpg (143.67 KB, 1313x526, kek.jpg)

>>262870
Yeah she did claim she's a lesbian and she also sperged out at a lesbian conference for actual lesbians, called them nazi's for not accepting her as a lesbian iirc

No. 262881

>>262866
Do polilezes date lesbians without disclosing their "celibacy" (being straight) and then proceed to shame their partners for having sexual attraction? Is that why I see a few vehemently ashamed lesbians around the site? With troons and polilezes it seems impossible to even begin to find a girlfriend.

No. 262882

lmao almost threw up at the gym. how’s everyone else’s day been?

No. 262886

>>262881
Date, become friends, generally a lot of "lesbians" in radfem spaces are actually polilez. There's this constant claim that they have all the lesbians and soooo many gnc ones, but actually it are mostly just polilez and actual lesbians end up leaving after a while, with more internalized lesbophobia than before. Which is really messed up, because many join those spaces after coming from lesbophobic TRA spaces where butches are constantly asked if they want to troon out. To instead going to radfem spaces where you are also constantly accusred of wanting to troon out or are called misogynistic for just being gnc, by supposed other gnc lesbians. Being around them in any way shape or form is soulsucking. Then there's also conservative lesbians who think butches give lesbians a bad name and should transition, so that lesbians aren't associated with being gnc or female masculinity anymore. There's really no fucking way to win.

No. 262893

>>262886
That's so weird I didn't know polilez acted like that or said those things because I never interacted with any of them before, I just knew they are fake lesbians. This is disheartening to hear. I'm approaching past an age where it's kind of embarrassing I've never even dated but I also don't like the idea to go to a lesbian bar or club because I don't want to drink or be in a loud space. I don't even know any lesbians that exist around me though there has to be some, I'm in a city. Feels bleak.

No. 262898

>>262866
>>262874
Awful, I hate seeing this. Thank you for the write up and collage, and taking the time to explain this to me. I had no idea this was going on. Blogging a little but it's been very difficult to come out of an extremely sheltered Christian upbringing (literally was not allowed to go to school) and land in the laps of various groups who don't have my best interests in mind, and then find out there's even more layers of this shittiness. Every day it feels like there's a new way to deny that same sex attraction exists and is unchangeable and degrade people for it.
I'm very disappointed to hear this about Dworkin in particular. I started reading her work recently, she was saying a lot of what I was feeling and that was comforting. I still think what she had to say has value, but still. Very disappointing. Again, why can't they just call themselves celibate or asexual?

No. 262903

>>262898
AYRT, yeah same with the sheltered upbringing. I went to a school where parents had to sign a declaration promising that their kids aren't gay kek. Everywhere I turn I run into a wall of lesbophobia. A lot of Dworkin's work is still good and valuable though, don't have to throw everything in the trash. Just a thing to keep in mind. Some of the other writers I mentioned though, really did only write polilez bs and nothing useful. Polilez feel like they are the true lesbians and "lifelong born this ways" still uphold patriarchy, so aren't true lesbians in their opinion, which is why they won't drop the act and just say they're celibate.
>>262893
It's not embarrassing to not have dated yet, I feel like it's common when you're SSA that it can take quite a while. I've had one relationship in my teens and I feel just as inexperienced as ever. Idk if lesbian bars and clubs even still have actual lesbians or any women who are actually attracted to women. So you might not be missing much. You could try dating apps, but I've not had much luck with that either. I might just be ugly and uninteresting kek, but many just want to chat and never meet up.

No. 263000

Anyone see Crush on hulu? The director is a she/they and in the reviews it says it also talks about gender topics. The main character looks like a stereotypical art hoe and says the "queer community" so I don't really want to watch if its some new age queer shit.

No. 263093

>>263000
I was afraid of the same thing but was pleasantly surprised to see that the main character explicitly calls herself a lesbian several times. While there is queer/gender bs, it's not too bad one character is a T-voiced themlet and the ex of one of the love interests, but she's just a side character. There isn't much other than that. I wasn't a big fan of the movie however. Most of the jokes didn't land. The plot is kinda meh. It has weird pacing, it starts off slow then shit happens too fast at the end, which I guess is typical of a romcom. There's also a weird focus on a very PDA straight couple who are the MC's best friends and they're constantly shown fully making out. It was really jarring and kinda nasty imo.

It's cute and watchable enough for a romcom, but you shouldn't expect much from it

No. 263168

i get big polilez energy from the "lesbians" here who complain about fags and faghags. they always keep going on about how homosexual men are deranged hypersexual sluts but lesbians just have 3-4 partners during the life time uwu pure sexless beings and they honestly can't understand that lesbians might feel offended by homophobia even though it's not directed at us, like they see no big deal with hating homosexuality. like lesbians are ok because we just hold hands and cuddle or whatever. and i have met tons of annoying misogynist gay men so i am not thinking that fags are cuddly menlite but i just cannot imagine a gay person handwaving homophobia as a nonissue .

No. 263180

>>262754
>I feel like everyone is already coupled up and hiding in their bunker in pure bliss.
That's literally every actually non-trooned out lesbian that I know personally. They're with their long-term girlfriend away from everyone else, never wanting to interact with any other gay person outside of their bubble because why the fuck would you in this time and age of kweer brainrot.

>>262866
>>262833
>>262886
Hundred percent agreed on all of these posts, polilezzies can go fuck themselves. They only muddy the waters and make it miserable for all genuine lesbians. The amount of bitter hatred they have for specifically butch lesbians and depressed Aidens is both heartbreaking and enraging.

>>263168
I doubt they ever said they were lesbian, most of them are just heterosexuals who claim to be "fine with female homosexuals" only because it's easier for them to dismiss and ignore due to like you described, lesbians not being taken seriously by anyone. One of them even has had several spergouts tinfoiling how a HSTS will seduce/has seduced her Nigel so she definitely has a chip on her shoulder.

No. 263268

>>263168
Even if I don't feel personally offended at the homophobia towards gay men, it still worries me because in the end we're all the same to (religious) conservatives. You're either seen as predatory, asozial or as a brainwashed victim in need of reeducation, no matter whether you're a lesbian or gay man. Yeah sure, there are gay men who hate lesbians or are vindictive, but there are also enough straight women who hate lesbians and are vindictive, so not a great argument. Why do they even care about what homosexual men do in the bedroom? It literally doesn't affect anyone. Whatever is annoying about gay men is because they're men, not because they're gay, but homophobechans are somehow convinced that the gay part makes everything worse.
>>263180
I get why they hide in their bunkers, but not all of us are coupled up and some of us could use some sane friends!

No. 263281

>>263180
at least one of those posters said that they were a lesbian in the tranny thread

>>263180
sorry but i find it kinda funny how people keep saying that polilezzies feel this big hatred towards butches when what i have seen they constantly have displayed this performative and fake love for butch women and their path to lesbianism many times seemed to involve shaving their heads etc like where do you see this butch hatred

No. 263287

>>263281
though i'd like to add that these same women did always insult transmascs though so like i said, their love for butches always was performative but maybe it's just some tumblr radfem circles where these women would flip out at other tumblr radfems mentioning wearing make up and other stuff kek so while their love for female masculinity didn't come from a sincere place they didn't show love towards feminine women either? though i guess they only loved female masculinity when it comes to outer appearance but when it comes to behavior they always acted like real proper women are meek, non confrontational, behaved (in stereotypical) feminine ways while (stereotypically) masculine behavior was demonized like women in their heads couldn't show sexual desire because that is manlike, or women couldn't be aggressive because that means they are fake women or moidish for example because women are always meek, nurturing and good?

like there were these weird rules of behaviors like female masculinity is ok when it comes to clothes and hair but femininity is approved when it comes to behavior

No. 263290

>>263268
Yeah it's quite obvious they're not hating gay men because they're misogynistic but specifically because they're homosexual, especially when they suggest they're "worse than straight men" which makes them definitely sound like larping, homophobic scrotes. I remember when my old LGB friend group involved an archetypal misogynist gay twink with pussy envy snapping at women and while it was annoying as fuck and I even slapped him once for it I would much, much rather deal with that shit than a straight incel. At least he wouldn't rape or sexually assault me and straight men don't back him up so we're on almost equal grounds, and I can somewhat understand his trauma while straight men become spree killers for not having a bangmaid. And besides, like mentioned, letting any kind of homophobia be normalized directly affects lesbians as well.

>>263281
>>263287
It's been discussed a number of times in this thread. Just go to any polilez-infested place and you see people either calling butches ugly and disgusting (like Lchat) or being more discreet about it (like Ovarit) in the fashion of treating them as gender traitors. At the same time those people go against the trans rhetoric by claiming that people should be comfortable not performing traditional gender roles but then lowkey shame butch lesbians while treating them as male lite and potential rapists. The worst I've heard some anon mention was doormat butches on Ovarit saying that they'd never touch or harass women in the female bathrooms unlike male troons. Like what the fuck kind of feminist space conditions you to say something like that?

No. 263291

File: 1652351536557.jpg (868.59 KB, 2452x1158, Butch_Femme_hate.jpg)

>>263281
On the surface they pretend to care about butches and they might even call themselves butch, but there's more to being butch than having short hair and dressing in a lazy way. Polilez have a gender neutral uniform, but they disavow female masculinity and still skew more towards femininity. Whatever the fuck Terri Strange or Sheila Jeffreys wears cannot possibly be considered masculine. The moment you actually want to look handsome or dapper, get a proper haircut, you get shit for it. You're not allowed to be chivalrous and you're not allowed to date femmes or be attracted to them. They can't decide whether the femme or the butch is the victim in that situation even. Sometimes they assume the butch is exactly like a male chauvinist, other times they assume the femme is oppressing the butch and isn't a real lesbian. It's also a form of classism, polilez are generally (upper)middleclass bihet women, an actual butch is horrifying to them due to the working class connotations. They can't even pretend it's just about the butch-femme coupling, which they think is heteropatriarchal, because if two dapper butches would be dating and being chivalrous to each other and dressing up for each other, that's just as bad to them. Because don't you know, we're all supposed to be sexless or else we're exactly like men?! Even suggesting you're actually attracted to your partner and you're trying to look nice for them in any way shape or form, is just too much!
>>263287
Oh yeah the hatred towards lesbians who wear make-up and skirts is a lot more overt, but that's because they're not afraid of pushing you to transition. They won't admit it, but I think polilez definitely played a hand in butches not feeling welcome in the lesbian community nor within feminism. They encouraged the isolation of butches at a critical time when the medical industry first started preying on butches and trying to push for transition. Now polilez are acting like a cult, constantly screeching that they are a safe space for butches, having their minions all over claim that butch women are on their side, when they're actually extremely lesbophobic and butchphobic. I feel like they even ruined the reputation of butches, because I've seen F4F lesbians complain that butches are against their preferences and presentation, when it are the polilez who hate femmes. You're right, ironically enough they seem to love female socialization when it comes to behavior, a strong assertive woman scares them, no matter what you look like. Or the only strong assertive woman is allowed to be their ring leader and the rest has to bow down to them.
>>263290
>The worst I've heard some anon mention was doormat butches on Ovarit saying that they'd never touch or harass women in the female bathrooms unlike male troons. Like what the fuck kind of feminist space conditions you to say something like that?
I've even seen some say that they don't mind conservative lesbophobes harassing them in the bathroom, as long as it keeps the TiMs out. Since when do TiMs look like butches? Also if they still try to kick you out after hearing your voice and everything, they're not uwu concerned radfems, they're lesbophobes.

No. 263304

>>263290
>lchat
>polilez place

LMAO what? what lchat have you been to, from what i remember they surely don't identify as feminists and aren't big on politics, they're just bunch of high femmes who hate everyone who isn't a skinny high femme if they're not moids larping. they invented the word bislut for fuck's sake what polilez uses that kind of word and they have no tolerance for non-goldstars at all, again, what polilez is like that

like lchat is bitchy and butch hating as fuck but calling them polilezzies??

No. 263306

>>263304
>they invented the word bislut for fuck's sake what polilez uses that kind of word and they have no tolerance for non-goldstars at all, again, what polilez is like that
That sounds like a textbook polilez anon, just a different variety from the "concerned" tradthot radfems on Ovarit.

No. 263308

>>263306
i always thought political lesbians were the kind of women who choose to be lesbian and simp for bisexuals and women who have sex with men and call themselves lesbians

like on lchat they used to have long threads about tumblr queers and calling them polilezzies, now lchatters are polilezzies, polilezzies are everywhere and i have no idea anymore who they are supposed to be

No. 263310

File: 1652359581154.png (717.6 KB, 1203x933, terf-gender-uniform.png)

doubleposting, honestly i am just rambling here like i don't disagree with you guys i know what you mean. i also used to feel bad for being attracted to more feminine women like i am some scroteish predator or that i just have a moid taste because i like femmes or whatever.

at the same time though i felt like i am supposedly giving in to the patriarchy because i care what i look like, like yeah it felt like that unless you dress like hoboish slovenly middle aged woman like sheila jeffreys you are falling to the traps of femininity or something. i am not butch or femme the way i dress really varies a lot but when i dress more masc i want to wear nice shoes and nicely fitting clothes. though it is kinda impossible for me to look properly butch anyway, my body and face is too feminine and i end up always looking femme if i am not wearing frumpy baggy clothes and then i just look like an old auntie playing dress up. i'm just bitter i don't have more androgynous look

No. 263317

>>263306
Ok no you can't just call everyone that's being shitty polilez. The women on Lchat are explicitly nonpolitical, their orientation is not fabricated and it's not related to radical feminism. They're shitty and bigoted/self-hating I agree but that's not what polilez is.

No. 263319

>>263310
Yeah, when I was deep in radblr I used to feel bad about being attracted to feminine women and also wanting to look attractive in the eyes of other women, because it felt like I am giving in to patriarchy, am shallow and should only be attracted to womens souls or whatever. It felt like lesbians are supposed to live out the perfect political purity fantasies of straight radfems all while they themselves did barely anything because they don’t want to face repercussions, “personal is not political”, “I hate men as a class not as a person”. But god forbid a lesbian meekly expresses sexual attraction to women on her personal blog

No. 263323

>>263308
Polilez hate proud bi women. Febfem and not sleeping with men isn't good enough for them, they want bi women to larp as lesbian. They think calling yourself bi is a political statement which indicates you're available to men. They only like bi women who are polilez and call themselves lesbian. Majority of Lchat always came across as more conservative assimilationist, they think butches give lesbians a bad name and want us to transition so lesbians aren't being associated with being butch/masc anymore. They act like we're all that's standing in between societal acceptance. They also think butch=fat and if you're skinny you must be a tomboy kek, lots of coping. There are some polilez, bis and rf's on there, but it's not the majority afaik. They're absolutely insane on Lchat thinking Ruby Rose looked better in dresses and long hair btw.
>>263310
I'm sometimes jealous I'm not curvy or petite kek. We all got stuff that works for us or doesn't.

No. 263332

File: 1652370406662.jpg (Spoiler Image,26.53 KB, 306x409, 11254400-6832983-image-m-25_15…)

>>263310
Anon wear what you want, as for that picture there are plenty of more feminine famous terves as well. I know she is straight but just look at Posie Parker.
>>263323
>Polilez hate proud bi women. Febfem and not sleeping with men isn't good enough for them, they want bi women to larp as lesbian.
This reminds me of Julie Bindel, I like her work but she once wrote an article about how she thinks bisexuals don't exist. I guess she is in denial of her own feeelings. Sad.

No. 263339

>>263332
yeah i just used that picture as an example of the weird slovenly radfem uniform that some of them wear and expect others to wear too, as if if you spend more than 5 seconds while throwing an outfit together you're the patriarchy's slave and caring at all for your looks is some sort of betrayal of the feminist agenda. and i don't mean like you gotta slather yourself with make up but just wearing nicely fitting, clean and non wrinkly clothes with your hair nicely cut and not in some permanent awkward stage

No. 263341

>>263339
Their attitude is dumb, there should be no uniform. I get being sick of patriarchal beauty standards but grooming yourself and caring about your looks is simply a fundamental human thing.

No. 263343

File: 1652372166345.jpg (55.07 KB, 564x780, 199ac8b718277e62da2c0da3ce5227…)

>>263341
>>263339
KD Lang would already be too much for them. Omg a suit! Coordination, she thought about her outfit for longer than 2 seconds! Way too, dapper, off to the gulag!

No. 263498

>>263291
Based post and an excellent breakdown. Don't have much to add besides thanks for writing this. I always sensed a bad vibe from people who were so offended over butch/femme dynamics and accused them of being a "glorification of heteronormative gender roles and rebuilding of the patriarchy", thus implicitly framing butches as adjacent to men, and I often wonder why they choose to take that stance. Are they mad of butch/femme couples having what they don't have, i.e. a polilez lacking a Nigel? In other words, because due to not being actually attracted to other women they remain a sexless being living in celibacy and demand others to do the same?

No. 263504

While we're sperging about polilez has anyone noticed the rabid OTT hatred for top/bottom/switch labels in radfem circles? And do you think it's related?

Labels can be really cringy and I'm not trying to defend Tumblr tier 'uwu I'm bottom so I'm smol baby' stuff. But I really feel like most women have a preference? Exclusively topping or bottoming is rare but in all of my personal relationships and among every actual homosexual female I've spoken to it hasn't been a perfectly equal 50/50 Dworkin approved split, the most common seems to be something like 60/40 with one partner who slightly prefers receiving and one who slightly prefers giving. I see lesbians get told they're acting like gay men for using the labels and I don't think that's fair. Frankly I know that bottoms exist and I know that I'm not compatible with them, whether we're allowed to use the labels or not doesn't change the fact that the trends the labels describe exist.

No. 263506

>>263291
>>263310
>>263319
thank you for writing this GODDD it's exactly how i've felt for years to the point i've had to discuss it in therapy recently. i started using radfem almost like as a way to cleanse myself of my big bad evil lesbian thoughts about gasp feminine women/wanting to be attractive to women. it's just lesbophobia

No. 263511

>>263504
They unironically wrote sex guides in the 70's about how to have lesbian feminist sex and everything has to be perfectly 50/50. They would consider 60/40 to mean that one partner is oppressing the other somehow and giving into heteropatriarchy kek. It's why they were called sex negative. They claim that it's just because of not liking the kink stuff and sex work or whatever, but the real reason they were called sex negative is because they were so puritan. Preferably they didn't want you to have sex, but if you did have sex, it had to be along very strict guidelines. The kink resurgence of the 90's seems to be more an overreaction to the sexlessness of the 60's-80's and the becoming taboo of butch-femme. They view top-bottom more like a kink thing, like hardcore d/s than just a preference. They also don't want you to use the terms top-bottom because they believe they originate from gay men. Just like how they don't want women to call themselves homosexual or gay, only lesbian or woman-identified-women. They also think that it's a roundabout way of butch-femme, at least how they view butch-femme. They think they are both oppressive roles forced on someone, instead of just a description of how someone is. It doesn't matter that it's removed from gender and you can have a butch bottom and a femme top, they just don't like it and assume it's oppressive and male-aligned. If you do have a preference in either direction, they think it's some sort of sign of internalized misogyny and something you have to work on. They also think that being a top is a slippery slope to transitioning kek.

No. 263513

>>263317
hm i don't fully agree because plenty of l chatters sperg to death about how butches are man wannabes upholding unequal patriarchal gender roles to oppress "normal" feminine women like scrotes do, the femme4femmes there base their sexuality on being pure from anything that reminds them of men which is basically everything (their focus on men when talking about lesbian relationships is obsessive like a polilez) and they write essays bashing butches because "butches make lesbians look bad". that's political

i've even seen some start to bash femmes and say being feminine is just so normal it doesn't need its own word and femme was invented by butches. they think polilez only means bashing femmes for wearing makeup but they do the same thing to butches for not wearing it because it "aligns them with men"

No. 263517

>>263504
>I see lesbians get told they're acting like gay men for using the labels and I don't think that's fair.
I seriously think that's a part of the obsession with desexualizing lesbians, even in straight relationship people have varying preferences with sexual behaviour. Leaning towards being more dominant or submissive isn't some BDSM degeneracy, it's just how things tend to be and I hate how some people act as if everyone sexually healthy is just a strict 50/50 when that's never the case.

>>263511
>They also think that it's a roundabout way of butch-femme, at least how they view butch-femme.
Agree. My girlfriend is femme and definitely the more dominant one than I am as a butch, and it's clear it's them projecting their manhate (or more precisely in their case, hatred of masculinity) to butches once again. Butches are evil, violent, oppressive rapist male lites to them and they treat lesbianism as some fun girl club filling whatever emotional hole they're trying to patch up.

>>263513
This.

No. 263529

>>263504
lesbians who use top/bottom terminology remind me of gay men who call themselves goldstar - it's kinda weird and not really as applical. Back in my day, a top would be called a stone butch and a bottom would be called a pillow princess and so if you were neither you'd be referred as nothing, you'd just be a lesbian kek

No. 263536

>>263291
>femme/butch

don’t you lesbianons realize that those terms are just perpetuating heterosexual gender stereotypes? kek

No. 263538

>>263529
It's useful because most people aren't perfectly 50/50 and it can definitely lead to incompatibility. Stone or pillow princess means 100/0, top or bottom means something in between that and perfect 50/50. Stone also means you don't allow ANY touching back and pillow princess means you won't do ANY touching. It's a lot more extreme than how people understand top/bottom. I actually like that they separated it from gender, because butch bottoms and femme tops are a thing. I think it also became a thing because of dating apps and the disappearance of lesbian bars, it's just a way to make sure you're compatible, like listing love languages. You don't have to date the only other lesbian in town anymore and just pretend like not being compatible is okay. I also hate this idea that there's the antifeminist label obsessed stone butch + femme pillow princess and the perfect 50/50 wonderful "genderneutral" unproblematic uwu normie lesbian who is perfect and doesn't need any labels.

No. 263539

>>263536
You sound like the kind of person who will call a het relationship queer because the scrote is an agp

No. 263540

>>263538
nonnie, a top IS 100% giving, like how a bottom is 100% recieving. Anything else is verse, hence why I referred them as stone(butch) and pillow princess

No. 263541

>>263540
nta but I think this must be a regional and generational thing. In my area a top would be a lesbian who prefers giving but is still comfortable being touched, switch/verse would be a lesbian that is around 50/50 or has no preference. A stone butch is 100% giving only and doesn't want to be touched at all.

No. 263544

File: 1652446246922.jpg (51.58 KB, 608x294, wewdasq.jpg)

>>263529
gay men have always called themselves gold star, there is an old joke that gay men who were born through caesarean section are platinum star because they're never touched a pussy in their entire lives

does anyone even have source for the tumblr claim that goldstar started as an insult, i only ever have seen whiny tumblr types to talk about it

pic related, some of you might not have even been born yet when this was added

No. 263553

>>263544
lmao i’ve seen the tumblr squad call gold star a slur cause it invalidates comp het lesbians. i’m comp het too and i’ll call myself gold star cause i’ve literally only kissed one man and it was during a game of dares and we both came out years after. he lives abroad with his husband now kek.

No. 263554

>>263539
no, doesn’t it make sense that you’re still abiding by gender roles? one woman acts out what we think a man is and another woman acts out in a submissive role, it’s incredibly offensive wtf

No. 263556

>>263538
I agree with this, sexual preferences are important when dating so I think these labels have some sort of use. On the other hand, I don't like lesbians (or gay men for that matter) who make their entire personality being a top or bottom, who don't understand that most people don't act in a 100% dominant or submissive way all the time within their relationships.

No. 263564

>>263554
>one woman acts out what we think a man is
You can't possibly say that, you know what men are like, right? They would never be as caring and chivalrous as a butch, they will never be able to empathize with another woman like a butch, they will never be able to pull off masculinity like a butch. Men rape, abuse, neg, expect their girlfriends to cook for them and do everything for them, won't wash their own asses, don't listen to their girlfriends and won't go down on them. Why the ever loving fuck would we ever want to act that out? You have no idea how fucked up it is what you just said and how misogynistic it truly is what you just said. Butches have a sensitive soft side a man would never have, not the way a woman has. If you want butches to transition, keep saying it's exactly like being a man or acting out what a man is. If you don't want that, then shut the fuck up, you know nothing.
>another woman acts out in a submissive role
There are strong dominant femmes who could kick anyone's ass, there are femmes who only top butches, there are femmes who only date femmes, but a fucking lesbophobe wouldn't get that.

No. 263566

>>263554
I think you're getting butches confused with drag kings there, nonners. Either that or you're completely retarded but I'm giving you the benefit of doubt here. I'm butch, I do not abide by gender roles because they're fake and gay. I simply wear what I like, have my hair cut how I like, and do whatever hobbies I like. I do not stop to think "would a man do this?" because I have an actual life. I assure you no butch is cross checking themselves with moids to follow male gender norms.

No. 263575

>>263554
this being your idea of what a feminine lesbian and a masculine lesbian is is what's offensive lol

No. 263578

File: 1652454597422.jpg (109.42 KB, 960x960, 221442120_349279716678512_7512…)


No. 263589

>>263554
did you even read the thread kekk people like you were just talked about

No. 263601

>>263554
Are you a polilez

No. 263604

File: 1652457892310.jpg (Spoiler Image,36.97 KB, 564x469, 82c87277c0b6e645783e8e88fe49a4…)

ladies(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 263618

>>263604
Delete this shit

No. 263624


No. 263666

Now I feel weird for wanting to both receive and give in the same session. It takes like an hour or two sometimes but I usually wanna do both lol.

No. 263679

>>263601
I'd bet good money she is.

>>263666
Give and receive what, head or strap? Or both? Either way you're not weird. My wife and I give and receive head nearly every time we have sex. Strap both ways not so much as I'm physically disabled and overcoming a big illness but we have done it a fair bit in the past and I'm sure we will in the future. I've also done it with a couple other partners. It does take a few hours and a lot of stamina but it's good fun. Don't let people meme you into being either top or bottom, stone or not. For the longest time I felt like I had to be the stone top because I'm a butch and no woman would want to do those things to me anyway but it's simply not true. I think there are more versatile lesbians out there than pure tops or bottoms.

No. 263687

I'm in my early 20s and I prefer to date older women. They have their shit together and are genuinely supportive and can take a joke. Unfortunately they're not really in my league because they're afraid of being seen as creeps, which I understand. I just want a gf who isn't a woke snowflake or troons out 2 weeks into the relationship.

No. 263689

>>263666
Same here, although there are times when I want to be especially dom or sub. I definitely don't identify personally as a top or bottom and I'm fine with that. It also depends really on my partner's preferences.

No. 263691

I'm 21 and almost(?) a virgin. How can I find a gf? I know this is a stupid question question but I live in a homophobic country and I don't know any bi or lesbian women irl. They are a lot of online communities and stuff but I don't know if online dating is smart.

No. 263692

>>263687
No offence, nonny, but do you have mother issues? 'cause I sure as hell do and in my late teens and most of my twenties I also preferred to date older women (most over 40) for their "maturity" but it was all a big cope. I've made my personal and professional life quite awkward by jumping into bed with any older woman who nurtured me in any way shape or form and mentally it kinda fucked me up too. I hope I'm wrong about you and I don't mean to offend you but I don't want to see anyone go down a similar path to me. I relate to not wanting a wokie or soon to be troon gf though. Just hang in there, love strikes when you least expect it.

No. 263694

>>263692
It's okay nona, I appreciate your concern though! I don't believe I have mother issues, I had a good and present mother during my childhood, and overall never have felt like I needed the sort of nurturing, in fact that tends to make me feel belittled at times.
Maybe it's all just me not wanting a woke troon who calls everything problematic or someone who's entirely dependent on me kek. Idk anymore, I'm waiting though lol

No. 263698

>>263666
>666
kek, but people talking about how a concept exists and isn't the most horrible thing on the planet, doesn't mean you're suddenly weird for feeling like it's not for you. You're completely normal, don't worry too much about it.
>>263679
>For the longest time I felt like I had to be the stone top because I'm a butch and no woman would want to do those things to me anyway but it's simply not true.
Which is why labels can be actually useful, because that is an assumption people still make. At least if someone has "pillow princess" in their profile I'll know to avoid and I have to indicate I'm "versatile", otherwise I will be put into that "stonetop" box anyway. Even without words like stone or top being in use, they will still project stereotypes from the 40's on butches, so actually having the language to explain what I am and what I'm not is useful. When I was younger I didn't even know what pillow princess, stone, butch, top or bottom was so I was just wondering why I was constantly treated like that and I just had no words for what was going on (I'm ESL and grew up sheltered).
>>263692
How does one know they have mother issues? Asking for a friend.

No. 263704

>>263694
Aight, sorry for sperging. Glad you had a good mother. Dating older lesbians is definitely safer politics wise. My wife and I are both 30 and the lesbian group we hang out with and go on outings with is mostly older couples as a way of keeping out wokies. It's a sad state of affairs that I don't trust lesbians my age until they've said something "transphobic", but you gotta insulate yourself from handmaiden shenanigans.

>>263698
Oh don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of labels. Without the word "butch" I wouldn't have met so many of my friends. I just feel that LGB circles can pressure people to adopt them too fast, now more than ever which is why zoomers go through them so quickly and have like a 100 past labels before finishing puberty. I used to think I was a stone top but now I just say "top leaning" as I can only bottom for someone I'm heavily emotionally bonded with because I have capital I issues about it (dysphoric, nearly trooned out, say no more). I also grew up ESL and sheltered so I get what you mean about the importance of defining yourself.

I'm mother issues anon and for me what helped is deeply examining my attraction to older women. Don't focus on the physical, but the emotional. Are you seeking comfort? Do you feel a deep satisfaction from the most simple acts such as cooking for you, looking after you when sick, etc? Also, if you interact with your mother still, is it because you want to? Or because you feel duty bound? If you still live with her, think about moving out, would you truly want to see her still? Honestly though, it's not that easy working it out. I only pushed my mother halfway out my life two years ago, I'm 30 now and still falling back on old habits and letting my sense of "duty" rule my brain so I end being a sucker that sends her thousands of pounds because she's hitting me with guilt trips.

No. 263715

>>263704
>now more than ever which is why zoomers go through them so quickly and have like a 100 past labels before finishing puberty.
Seems like that generally happens with the ones living in more progressive areas, I feel like a different species of zoomer sometimes kek
>but now I just say "top leaning" as I can only bottom for someone I'm heavily emotionally bonded with because I have capital I issues about it
Yeah I get that. I consider myself a submissive or service top generally, which maybe makes no sense, it does in my brain. Factually speaking I'm versatile, but I also can only bottom for someone I really trust. Once that trust level is reached, I'm completely fine with 50/50 usually.
>Do you feel a deep satisfaction from the most simple acts such as cooking for you, looking after you when sick, etc?
Hmm not really, I rather prefer cooking and doing stuff for others. I grew up without a mother, don't really know her and last spoke to her on the phone almost a decade ago. That role was taken up by other female family members since I was an infant and they did just fine. So personally I don't feel like I missed anything, but the mother figure is really revered in society. I'm practically hardcore ghosting her, because she won't admit she's an addict and won't acknowledge the reasons why she lost custody in the first place. So I wonder if that still leads to mother issues.
>I only pushed my mother halfway out my life two years ago, I'm 30 now and still falling back on old habits and letting my sense of "duty" rule my brain so I end being a sucker that sends her thousands of pounds because she's hitting me with guilt trips.
Ah that sounds rough, I guess I'm not missing much then kek. It's a lot easier to cut off someone you barely know anyway. Alternatively I do have a sense of duty to those female family members, but they generally don't guilt trip me or ask me for anything. It's more that I'm grateful they were there for me and they keep telling me to not get them a mother's day gift and instead save my money kek.

No. 263722

I feel like I've been such a faildaughter lately that coming out to my parents is the last thing I deserve to do. Like if I was successful in every other aspect of my life I could afford to let my parents down in telling them that I like women and I'll never give them grandchildren but right now informing them on this aspect of my true self would be like hammering the final nail in the coffin of their expectations of me would be so cruel as to give them a heart attack

No. 263739

I feel like I can't talk to lesbians I know about my body image issues because to a lot of them having a thin androgynous body is the goal. Just because I hate men doesn't mean I'm not jealous of girls with curves

No. 263767

>>263739
It might be a goal because of the fashion possibilities, but I always felt like curvy women are also more popular with lesbians attraction-wise.

No. 263805

i fucking love gerri from succession and deborah from hacks. the other day my gf asked what my type is and i said women who are nice to me and take care of me and she said it sounds like i want a mommy and i guess i can admit it.. i have mommy issues i love older women. luckily my girlfriend is three years older than me and takes care of me well

No. 263931

File: 1652557547709.gif (186.09 KB, 480x382, giphy (1).gif)

>>263722
I'm sorry nonnie, I feel this too, even though I'm not in a culture that has strict expectations to have kids. I'm the oldest girl of my siblings and I still feel like I'm the least accomplished, I'm not dating anyone rn so I don't feel like a 'normal' 20 something and I'm stuck in a shitty retail job while my siblings have more career oriented jobs. I know my parents would want grandkids eventually but I'm holding my breath they don't expect any from me soon. It's hard to not want to disappoint your parents but you have to remember you don't exist just to please them (or anyone)

>>263805
I don't get why wanting a partner that is nice and to take care of you is mommydom stuff… Isn't that what you should want in a partner? I would get it if like you wanted a gf that did everything for you, but I would try to take care of my gf whenever she needed it & vice versa, I wouldn't expect one of us to do everything unless she was better at it and liked doing it more. Though I get the older attraction thing, I think I could date someone a little older than me (like early 30's at max, I'm in early 20s) I think this comes from just being attracted to people who have their lives more together than mine though

No. 263940

>>263931
>I don't get why wanting a partner that is nice and to take care of you is mommydom stuff… Isn't that what you should want in a partner?
You're right, it is. The problem is, people with mommy issues or something of the sort were deprived of that affection from a female parental figure as a child, and in adulthood may have problems with differentiating between romantic feelings or wanting someone to fulfil that emotional role. It's easy to be attracted to older women because of that.

No. 264016

Venting: navigating dating apps is a fucking nightmare. I'm pretty introverted w/ nerdy interests like playing video games, drawing, etc. It makes me feel like women are totally out of my league if they're not advertising that they're into the same stuff on their profile. I feel like if I match with some of them they'd just see me as a pathetic terminally online shut in (which is true). I genuinely feel inferior. I get matches and I know I'm not unattractive, I just never get pinged back by the people I'm really eager to pursue. It just feels like I'm destined to be alone. I'm tired

No. 264033

is it true butches do get harassed on the street? bc my mum told me not to cut my hair/dress how i want cause she's scared it'll happen to me and it's made me feel like i have to be feminine (even tho you still get harassed that way tbh but being butch seems more dangerous). idk what to do

No. 264055

>>264033
Can't speak for all butches, but I do get a fair bit of shit. I will say it depends on the area, where I'm from is… kinda scummy kek. The worst harassment happens there and it's even got violent a couple of times but if you live in a liberal leaning area you should be fine. You'll get annoying people singling you out and asking your pronouns because they think anyone GNC is a tranny but it's better than being called a dyke.

No. 264071

>>264016
>It makes me feel like women are totally out of my league if they're not advertising that they're into the same stuff on their profile.
My gf felt this way before we met IRL but it worked out so incredibly well. If your profile is too focused on hobbies and not your personality then that could contribute to your lack of ideal matches. Throw in something unexpected about you. Something that will break the mold of what one expects from "just a nerd shut-in". The less "starter pack" your profile, the more likely you'll land someone. Everyone looks like an NPC on these dating apps so anything atypical does grab attention.

No. 264080

File: 1652627984600.jpg (8.32 KB, 208x148, 1476588496379.jpg)

Sorry for the super retarded question but how do you protect yourself from std if your hooking up or starting a new relationship ?Obv most of the nonnas here who are sexualy active are in couple so it's not much of an issue for them. I only did stuff where I had no risk of std transmission longtime ago but now I'm a bit worried since I'm trying to date again. I know about the technical stuff ( dental dams or diy alternative ) but wondered how it actually roll out irl.

No. 264102

>>264080
I remember they used to give out dental dams for free at a local lgbt centre I went to in my youth, I also remember hearing alot of jokes about them "so has anyone in history ever used one of these things" and sticking with that theme I never ended up using the stash of free ones I had on standby. Even went through a sleeping around phase and I found nobody was thinking of barrier methods when it got down to things.

If you're dating with no overlaps you could just test at the beginning of dating

No. 264103

>>264080
>but wondered how it actually roll out irl.
Not quite sure what you mean by this but my advice is to just be upfront about it and tell whoever's trying to get into your pants that you won't do anything without protection. Most women are pretty chill, although occasionally surprised as lesbians can be pretty lousy about using protection. You will get a few who laugh you off but just tell them to GTFO. No woman is worth getting the clap for. I recommend using condoms in all situations as they're cheaper and easier to come by and once you know how to turn one into a dental dam you can do it quick enough to not ruin the momentum in the bedroom. Plus you can get the flavoured ones if you wanna try to break the awkwardness and make oral more fun with one. Most see it as overkill but I used to put a condom over my fingers too during sex. Fingernails can retain a lot of germs over the course of the day anyway so I dread to think about adding sex to that equation. I would make a habit of getting tested regularly too. When I was sleeping about I would get tested every 3-6 months depending on how many women I'd slept with. You should be able to find somewhere that can do that for free. Most countries have schemes to test people for free to try and lower STD/STI levels. Godspeed, anon.

No. 264174

>>264103
tbh just the name dental dam surely did not helped it to be commonly used. interesting to know how it was
>>264102

Thanks for the advice nonnies, since we don't see that stuff in sex aid and the online stuff is on the same level of text book explaination it help to have people talk about it more in context. Tbh I'm lucky the STD testing system is good in my country.
Also
>Most see it as overkill but I used to put a condom over my fingers too during sex. Fingernails can retain a lot of germs over the course of the day anyway so I dread to think about adding sex to that equation.

Do peoples don't regulary use nail cleaning brush ? As someone who get my hands daily covered in ink and paint this scare me

No. 264177

>>264174
I always use a nail cleaning brush but from what I've seen from past roommates and sofa surfing it's not a common thing which is why I was adamant about using protection on fingers when I was single. Thank fuck I'm married now, just thinking about when I used to sleep about makes me want a hour long shower.

No. 264179

>>264174
How many times have you gone into a public or private bathroom and seen a nail-cleaning brush next to the bar of soap?

No. 264180

>>264033
Sometimes, it depends on the area like >>264055 says. Usually it are just nasty looks from old people and mothers who feel like they have to protect their children from the scary dyke kek. It rarely gets violent, but it's possible. In liberal areas you're a lot safer, but you will be aggressively assumed to be a TiF from both political sides and one will constantly ask your pronouns and the other thinks "woman" is an insult and not a statement of fact. I don't know if what I'm saying makes any sense, but they will legit try to use "woman" as an insult and it feels very misogynistic to try to turn a normal word into an insult.
>>264080
When I was younger I didn't even know there was protection needed for lesbian sex because sex-ed acted like lesbians don't exist. Only straight people, gay men and trannies. So I was an idiot, but a lucky idiot. Even if people make fun of you for it, insist on using protection.

No. 264210

>>264080
How topical I just found this

No. 264500

>>264210
lmao the dental dam make me want to use them as slingshot pretty hard

No. 264539

>what's your type?
My dream girl is
>butch
>like just comfortably masculine in manner and dress
>works an office job or something where she often wears suits
>also willing to wear the couple's outfits I make/pick out for us
>yumejoshi
>or at least nerdy enough to understand my husbandofaggotry
>smarter than me
>an attentive listener
>likes when I sing for her and pack her lunch
>strong, able to pick me up and carry me
>very affectionate
>slightly extroverted
>suspicious of the government
>lets me go down on her every day

No. 264556

File: 1652803968698.jpg (46.54 KB, 999x599, dental-mouthguards-different-k…)

>>264500
I never knew wtf a dental dam looked like I thought it was something more like pic rel where is goes over your lips. That honestly is more appealing than the rubber sheet those look so clinical and unsexy it would kill the mood super quick. It does remind of those stretchy exercise leg things though I think I would just play with them like that the whole time kek

No. 264590

>>264556
I've actually put my custom mouthguard from my boxing days on as a joke to break the ice around safe sex with a few women lol. I find that as long you have a partner you can comfortably laugh with and doesn't take themselves too serious in general that it's never too awkward in bed. Women that try to be "smouldering" and sexy the entire time are doomed to have a crappy experience. Sex can be silly! It's ok to laugh about it! Laughing about it usually leads to better communication, and better communication usually leads to better sex.

No. 264650

File: 1652816845799.jpg (123.16 KB, 1800x1800, monster_left_final_2000x.jpg)

>>264590
While I was looking these up I found they have fang ones… ngl it might look stupid but it could be fun to play with different teeth shapes
I agree it should something fun to explore with someone and not take too seriously. I think it's one of the reasons why I'm not keen on hookups if I just met the person like that day. I'm too much of a introvert to really let myself loose around someone I just meet. I used to be envious of people who can jump into connections like this but I guess I'm just not like that? I'd rather wait and feel safe with someone I trusted.

No. 264651

>>264539
>lesbian and husbandofag
I've seen so many women like this and they always end up with men or keep talking about men to their girlfriends. Weird.

No. 264663

>>264651
I'm a fujo but my girlfriend is a husbandofag who finds IRL men repulsive. She just asks me to cosplay as her husbandos all the time and I'm fine with it kek

No. 264668

>>264650
>I'm not keen on hookups if I just met the person like that day. I'm too much of a introvert to really let myself loose around someone I just meet.
One thing I will forever regret is how the ~community~ in local gay bars told me to experiment and sleep around as a baby dyke. I'm painfully autistic and couldn't sleep with a random without being drunk and/or high (which naturally led to addiction problems) and as someone who struggled with being both butch and gay I got stuck in a cycle of:

>crave romantic and/or sexual companionship to tell me I'm not a bad person for being homosexual and GNC

>need booze and/or drugs to talk to people though
>end up having one night stands that do nothing to give me the companionship and acceptance I crave
>feel disgusted by my sexuality and try to supress it by not going to gay bars and meeting up with my friends who support my sexuality
>become lonely and depressed and unsure about my identity
>rinse, repeat

Sorry for the blogpost but I just want to say that waiting around for the right person is so, so, so worth it. I'm happily married now but if I could go back in time and do this all over again I would never have casual sex and only sleep with the girlfriends I had a real connection with.

No. 264678

>>264663
cute bisexual couple

No. 264680


No. 264682

>>264678
>t. anon seething about not living the lesbian weeb dream life

No. 264705

File: 1652829024484.gif (865.95 KB, 500x278, _mmwfn7kbRZ1sp2j8lo1_500.gif)

>>264539
I would have questions about how the husbandofaggotry works for you specifically, but you had me until the last point.
>>264668
NTA but how it went for me
>be only butch in town
>part of emo groups, where it had become popular for everyone to claim they're bi
>became designated person to experiment with, get ego boost
>most decide it's not for them and immediately go back to men
>lonely, feel unattractive because of aforementioned and just want connection so keep allowing being used for experimenting
I'm still not sure if I've ever had sex with someone who was actually attracted to me and not because I was just available and visible. I feel like I've been really lucky not to catch anything from that time of my life. Now I feel so emotionally stunted, more avoidant and while I'm far from a virgin, I still feel like I haven't had any real experience. At the same time I've also let myself get strung along by straight women who used me as some sort of celibate female boyfriend, until they got an actual one and it took me a while to pick up on how much of a simp I am. Bit of a mindfuck.

No. 264710

>>264682
I’m not seething. Be who you are. It’s ok to be bisexual ♥

No. 264775

>>264705
>became designated person to experiment with, get ego boost
AYRT and I know how you feel. "Bi" women often view butches as the stepping stone between heterosexuality and homosexuality and end up treating us atrociously. Every butch I've ever met has always had at least one bisexual woman horror story. The last bi woman I dated mindfucked me so bad I put my foot down and swore not to date another one. People can call me biphobic all they like, but when you're GNC it can be a very different experience with bi women.

No. 264777

>>264705
>you had me until the last point
Is this a personal objection or an ideological one? Sex is important in my relationships and my ideal woman would have the same values. Plus I just love eating pussy, what else can I say.

No. 264797

>>264539
hmm my dream lady is probably

>low femme

>soft spoken
>long, dark, curly hair
>strong nose but big eyes
>deep brown eyes
>soft body type, esp cute thighs
>wants to go to church together
>kind of shy
>likes when i take control but tries not to show it
>shorter than me
>likes the outdoors and will nap in a meadow with me
>nice singing voice so we can harmonise as we clean
>weird but not ashamed
>will sperg about folklore and the paranormal with me
>himejoshi
>loves cats
>wants to start a family
>book lover

No. 264806

>>264539
I'm manifesting her so hard
>butch or gnc
>strongfat? enjoys lifting and being active but soft tummy/thighs, not a gym rat
>spergy, able to monologue about her interests for hours while I relax and listen to her voice
>desires quiet rural lifestyle
>childfree but wants many cats
>outdoorsy
>not vegan
>loves when I cook for her
>shorter than me and likes being little spoon
>420 friendly
>not pretentious
>likes listening to me sperg about occultism and spooky stuff
>high sex drive, comfy with both recieving and giving

No. 264809

>>264539
The most important thing to me by far is having similar personality and interests so
>nerdy af
>openminded to trying new things, willing to go out of her comfort zone to experience new things
>polite and well-intentioned towards people and animals
>loves cats
but when it comes to appearance I'm way less picky. Honestly as long as we get along and have chemistry then that's way more attractive to me, but I do tend to have patterns in who I've dated before.
>mid length hair, around shoulders or shorter, preferably curly/fluffy
>strong fashion sense, can be either androgynous/masc or very femme, having a personal style in itself is attractive to me
>chest on the smaller side
>brown eyes
>slim, but some chub is fine, especially around the hips/butt
>cute face, big smile

No. 264819

File: 1652893823605.jpg (29.01 KB, 676x380, juntogawaflower.jpg)

As young as I can remember how I think my adult life would have been, I never saw myself living with a man. I would like have a child or two but always live with a female, a sister or a "friend". Idk why it always appeared naturally like that in my mind, I always wondered if it was the same for other lesbian ?
>did you remember how you projected your adult life as a child?
>Did you saw yourself living with a man ?

No. 264826

>>264819
When I was 6, my male best friend and I decided we were getting "friend married" when we were older and living together. Of course we didn't know back then that "friend marriages" weren't a thing so we never got joined together in holy matri-homie. Aside from that I was generally terrified of my future. To this day I don't really know why. My only guess is that I was starting to realise I was "different" from the other girls and my brain tried blocking it out. By the time I was 13 I did know that I didn't want a man in my life but I didn't really want a woman in my life either. Thing is though, as a butch I've really struggled with female friendships my whole life. I was always the weird nerdy tomboy that none of the other girls could relate to so my experiences are usually different to more gender conforming women. I'm also autistic so naturally I was more inclined towards solitude. I did think about having a child, I thought it would be nice but I didn't want to do the deed with a moid and didn't know sperm banks existed back then. I always just assumed I would be comfortably alone until I got together with my first girlfriend and realised that I do enjoy companionship after all, with the right people. I'm now 30, happily married and my wife and I hope to start trying for a baby in the few months, fingers crossed.

No. 264838

>>264819
When I was a child I wanted to become a plant or animal researcher who travels the world and goes on adventures, yes I'm a sperg. I didn't really think about children or marriage. I did self-insert as the guy in some movies, which didn't mean I want to be a man, because most men in those movies aren't like irl men at all, I just really liked the actress. At some point one of my friends got her period early and everything changed, she wasn't allowed to play outside anymore and suddenly everything was about her preparing to become a good wife and mother. I freaked out and had 2 weeks I told everyone I was a boy because of it when I was 7. When I was explained in detail how pregnancy works, I decided I never wanted to get pregnant. Family members started freaking out that I wasn't growing out of being a tomboy and almost sent me to their home country for some sort of femininity training, I managed to luck out and avoid it. I started pursuing other girls when I was 13 (though most came to me)? I insisted I was straight though, because I was basically told that lesbianism is an immature thing you need to grow out of and nobody stays that way. Which was kinda stupid, since I stayed gnc, it was obvious what I am to everyone else anyway. The lesbophobia and some mild conversion therapy made me feel very conflicted, because while I never saw myself living with a man and never wanted to, I did want to be accepted, to be (seen as) mature, so sometimes I did wish I was straight. Especially when my father started making thinly veiled threats.

No. 264843

>>264826
Nonnie! I read this thinking this would be a sad tale of solitude but hearing your happy ending made me ♥ hope your baby comes out healthy, I'm sure babby will be extra loved with two mothers. I am really excited to do that in the future too.
Honestly I found your post quite relatable. For me, as a little kid it was
>cutting my hair really short because long hair was annoying
>wearing boyish clothes
>sometimes calling myself a boy (i am so glad 'trans kids' weren't accepted around 2011-2014
>being friends with mostly males but wanting very strongly for girls to accept me
>having one female friend who i was way too possessive over
>feeling guilty about hugging girls and avoiding contact with other girls
>never thinking about a future with a man but wanting a 'best friend' who i stay with forever and live with, pretending to be the husband of my best friends just for a giggle
Except for me, at puberty, I didn't think I was homo. I thought
>'kind of weird I don't find men attractive and I think of women like a man would', but it will probably sort itself out by the time I'm…18? Yeah! I'll like men one day!
And I remember in school many people used to call me slurs and I didn't know why. So I chose my male friend and convinced myself I liked him, except when he got romantic i just felt disgusted and avoided him permanently, all whilst having a secret 'involvement' with this other girl (who was a blatant lesbo in retrospect kek). I also watched tutorials on how to act feminine, wore skirts, pretended to like things my friends liked, and it kind of worked for a bit! I felt like I was going to be accepted into girl world. I just wanted to stop being seen as a weirdo/not one of the girls/masculine.
These days I have only just started allowing myself to wear clothes that are more comfortable for me, like I can wear more masculine clothes if I feel like it, and don't feel the need to pretend to like different things. I now know that because I'm a little different I think my life may be a little lonelier, but I'm not pretending to be someone else anymore.
>>264838
That's kind of sad anon. I think it's pretty normal for young lesbos see see themselves as men because they don't see other lesbians in real life, so liking women makes them feel like a man. I don't know where you grew up but it's heartbreaking that a little girl loses her childhood for the perceived responsibility of womanhood. I hope you're not in that environment anymore.

No. 264846

File: 1652902852899.jpg (Spoiler Image,144.64 KB, 710x590, Margaret_White_quote.jpg)

>>264843
>I think it's pretty normal for young lesbos see see themselves as men because they don't see other lesbians in real life, so liking women makes them feel like a man.
I unironically cope by reading books by butch authors where they explain in detail how x character in movie is actually based on a butch and not a man, so if you identified with that character, you still indirectly identified with butchness or something adjacent to it. Maybe it's a retarded cope and butchwashing, but it works for me. I did pick up things from those men in movies and shows, because sometimes I did admire them, but someone like Gomez Addams is not exactly a source of toxic masculinity, so I think I'm fine. I still don't feel connected to womanhood, because I grew up in an environment where that meant straight housewife and it was always tied to reproduction, fertility and femininity. At the same time I've never actually felt like a man or truly wanted to be a man, because I started hating them pretty quickly and got upset when I was introduced to the concept of transitioning for the first time. I just feel like a butch female.
>I don't know where you grew up but it's heartbreaking that a little girl loses her childhood for the perceived responsibility of womanhood.
Biblebelt, it was genuinely shocking. It felt like living in a place where everyone is Carrie's mom (Margaret White picrel). The whole neighborhood was speaking shame of her getting her period early, as if she caused it herself through sinning or something.
>I hope you're not in that environment anymore.
I'm not in the most extreme part anymore, but also not exactly a liberal area. Though I don't know if I'd enjoy a liberal area either with all the pronoun stuff and I don't want to be interrogated about my gender (expression).

No. 264850

>>264843
I'm glad I could show you there can be light at the end of the tunnel! Also nice to know I'm not alone with wanting to be a mother. I feel like modern lesbian circles are slowly becoming against the idea of having children. From my experience a lot of women will turn it into a political slapfight and insinuate you're a misogynist for it. I don't mean women who simply don't wish to have children (I have plenty of friends who don't and I get it), what I mean is those who ideologically oppose it and are the types to post on r/childfree about how much they hate kids.

>>264846
Drop the butchwashing book links, I could do with some copium. I've always had periods of obsession with movie men since I was a tween where I've either been like:
>"Whoa, he's literally me! Except he should be butch instead!".
>"Whoa! I want to be him! Except butch!"
I also went through a phase of wanting to be called Johnny. Not in a troon way, but in a cool, butch way. Kinda still do, ngl.

No. 264854

>>264846
wtf? i don't get why there are places where girls are made to feel guilty for their biology. and when women go along with stuff like this it's extra sad.
i get not feeling connected to womanhood. it helped when i found a circle of dorky weird girls to be feral with, and a sports coach who was a masculine woman and mother who lived on her own terms. if i grew up somewhere like that i would have hated it too. i think 'biblebelt' means america? i always assumed america was really fair to women and that you had freedom, so it was sad to hear some people grow up like that. but yeah i know i would hate being around pronoun people too. it's a fine line kek
>>264850
the r/childfree types creep me out tbh. motherhood is very admirable, you're helping build society, and it's not like you stop being a human who does other things after motherhood, especially if your partner is supportive.

No. 264875

>>264854
>i think 'biblebelt' means america?
nayrt but yes, specifically it's the middle and southern half of USA (hence the "belt") and it's basically where Christian and "conservative valued" rednecks live. In major cities this ideology isn't as strong compared to more rural areas, but still most places in the south are full of Christians who will think you're a sinner if you aren't basically the reincarnation of mother Mary. I also live in the south but I lived closer to a city and had a breadwinner working mother so I didn't experience it as bad as the other nonna, but being in Christian spaces can be especially isolating.

No. 264903

I really wish I realized I was a lesbian sooner. I was convinced I was bisexual until my mid-20s, and I dated a bunch of men, had awful sex, and coped by watching solo female porn all the time. Now I have a girlfriend and actually orgasm during sex and never feel the urge to watch porn. It was only so hard accepting myself because I've always wanted children really badly. Not sure how I'll figure out ivf or adoption in the future but I really just still can't believe how delusional I was for so long.

No. 264907

>>264080
Sorry but whats the point ? there are very little chance to get std and the dental dam are gross and a pain in the arse.

Just be careful if you have cuts in your mouth.

No. 264929

>>264850
>Jack/Judith Halberstam - Female Masculinity
>Jack/Judith Halberstam - A queer time and place
>The Butch Woman Inside James Dean or ‘What Kind of Person Do You Think a Girl Wants?’ by Marie Cartier (her theory is that he hung around butch women and based his characters on them, because he was gay himself).
I was given a gender neutral nickname which I still prefer, so I get it.
>>264854
>>264875
Other countries which seem progressive have biblebelts too. I basically moved with catholic family to an area with the equivalent of FLDS or Pentecostal types. All the women had to wear long dresses and skirts, long hair is very important to them etc. My family is conservative too, but holy shit biblebelt places are on a new level. They even caused my family to walk out during mandatory (because of school) Christmas church service, because they implied Mary is a whore, like no woman is safe from scrutiny, not even fucking Mary.

No. 264933

>>264710
Honestly if gay men were larping as anime girls together with no interest in IRL women I would think that's the gayest fucking thing I've seen, it's no different with lesbians. Don't know why so many anons choose to die on the "liking unrealistic cartoon men means you love and desire actual men" hill when they probably wouldn't have a problem with anons simping female characters created by and for men.

>>264705
>>264775
Yeah personally my experience with bi women has been being treated as "male lite" i.e. someone they don't quite see as a woman but a more emotionally available version of masculinity. It's painful to listen to them gush about men that you can never become and you know they're most likely longing for the muscular, tall Nigel that they'd be proud to date and show off. I mean I absolutely understand why bisexual women end up with men out of convenience, it's much easier since you don't have to deal with homophobia anymore and having children is much easier, but they shouldn't act all hurt and offended when lesbians don't want to date you and don't start whining about how much you hate straight sex and miss having a girlfriend. You made your bed and now you have to lie on it.

>>264819
I had this weird thing where I subconsciously knew I was a lesbian but saw myself growing up to a straight marriage because I didn't even know you could have an alternative in my bumfuck conservative town. Yet at some point in my teens I realized this "husband" that I had made up in my head was actually myself and "me as the wife" was the girlfriend that I had dreamed of.

No. 264934

>>264663
>I find gay men attractive and my girlfriend finds men attractive
You're bisexual. I hate women like you who keep getting in lesbian spaces just to talk about men or faggots, fuck off.

No. 264950

>>264826
good luck for the baby ! If I ever find a wife and have a stable life I would love to have biological kids, but I'm freaked out because I would like to have a donour of my specific ethnic group or my wife's one and that probably difficult.

No. 264963

>what's your type?
Mine is
>A cute femme who likes cute things and lets me be her prince
>Likes artsy stuff
>A weeb and a fujo
>Has a similar life situation and lifestyle as me (stable white collar job with a college/uni degree, mid to high income, reasonably functional in everyday life, preferably a goldstar)
>Likes to joke around, bonus points for a dry sense of humor
>Likes spontaneous adventures and new experiences, enjoys traveling
>Loves animals
>Has a regular or high sex drive, dead bedroom is one of my worst nightmares
>Hates men but isn't an embarrassing sperg about it
>Supports me when I'm going through a tough time
>Is intelligent enough to be able to hold a conversation
>Has her own life and ambitions outside of the relationship
>Gets along with my friends
>Overall just not a crazy overly attached BPD-chan like my ex

No. 264965

>>264539

>cute features

>likes weird things and/or hearing about them
>wants to go urban exploring
>not super into any kind of astrology/tarot/other stupid spirituality shit
>weebfem & likes GL
>alternatively i'm kind of endeared by the thought of a normie gf who doesn't know what i'm talking about but is charmed by it. probably just like the fantasy of it more than i would irl though
>enjoys amusement parks
>those pointy canine teeth
>talkative
>pretty thighs and nice boobs
>not uptight and doesn't care what random strangers think
>wants to suck on my fingers and have me praise her

it feels indulgent to even type this out

No. 264967

>>264934
Anime isn't real.
>>264933
>I subconsciously knew I was a lesbian but saw myself growing up to a straight marriage because I didn't even know you could have an alternative
Yes same here. I was totally defeated by the idea that I'd have to marry a man because I knew from the start I could never love him. I'd be like "maybe it'd be fine if we were just really good friends…" kek. I feel grateful to have grown up in a relatively progressive area so I had the opportunity to date other girls and realise it doesn't have to be that way.
>>264965
I check all of these boxes lmao. Let's date

No. 264973

>>264950
Thank you! I'm incredibly nervous but also very excited and already knee deep in baby books kek. My wife and I have the exact same problem with donor ethnicity. When we were still trying to work out the specifics of when to try and where to have it done, etc, we tried finding someone who was my special blend of mutt but to no avail; and my wife was looking for months. I did try telling her I don't mind using someone who isn't a perfect match, but I can understand how she feels. We're now going to do reciprocal IVF because it feels more natural that we're both involved in the process; thankfully finding a donor for my wife's ethnicity is easier.

No. 264974

>>264967
>anime isn't real
Then why aren't there gay men who lust after anime girls? Gay men who are obsessed with yuri? You might be bisexual and that's fine but bringing up men you find hot, whether fictional or real, in a lesbian thread is inappropriate.

No. 264975

>>264934
Ugh i get so annoyed by ‘lesbians’ who can’t stop talking about men from books/anime. I hated myself for so long for not being attracted to the male form, or anything resembling a man, so I was so happy to find women who feel the same way. Someone is attracted to drawings of children, would you not think them a pedo? So why is being attracted to a drawing of a man not being attracted to the male form? You’re either biphobic, hate men too much to admit you may be attracted to them, or feel too ugly for a man so pretend you never wanted them anyway. To an outsider, someone who doesn’t use this website, they would think that someone who shlicks to a drawing of a man is obviously attracted to men. But some people here get so hostile about being told they’re not lesbian that no one wants to call them out. And with more posts about this here, I think people are going to get tired of it.
Then there are bisexuals who try to tell us that you can be attracted to the male form and be a lesbian as long as ‘it not real!’, and will come into spaces made for women like us to tell us we’re wrong. Just be who you are. Ok, so maybe you hate men. That doesn’t make you a lesbian. Being bisexual is fine, but lesbianism is not a political statement or a refuge from you issues with men. I just want to be in a space where I’m understood and there are people appropriating it.
I wouldn’t say a man who dreams of fictional men and has figurines of anime boys is straight.
Also, if you want to dress up as an anime boy because it feels more ‘you’, please go ahead. I’m happy to see butch acceptance in this thread. But if you’re attracted to males, fictional male included, and want to sperg about their bodies or how sexy they are, please leave.

No. 264976

>>264974
>>264975
Preach. We need to chase these fujos out on sight.

No. 264978

>>264975
>>264974
>>264976
Contain your sperg and dilate, samefagging retard. One anon mentioned in her "dream girlfriend" post that one of her qualifications is to "be a yume or at least understanding of her being one" among multiple others and you fucking lose your entire mind over that one part and write these exhausting, extremely projecting paragraphs about how your lesbian larp fantasy is ruined by fujos when the original post wasn't even about fujos but husbandofags.

No. 264981

>>264978
>samefagging
Damn, already at the samefag conspiracy level of dilating? That sucks. Also fujos and husbandofags are two sides of the same coin.

No. 264982

>>264975
THANK YOU. It's a bi meme, a total bi meme. If youre just shipping male characters without getting off to the porn I can at least understand that you're choosing to consume media that doesn't mistreat women or some shit but active husbandofagging and masturbating to men all day and calling it not real attraction? Copium.

No. 264983

>>264978
I'm the OP of that dream girlfriend post and I find it very funny how many anons derailed to scold me.
>>264975
None of the people defending fujos or yumes ITT were gushing about men or the male form or trying to convince anyone that they should be attracted to men, fictional or otherwise. It's literally just you samefagging and shitting up the thread. You are the only sperg here.

No. 264984

>>264983
It's telling when none of the posts mentioned anything else but "I want a yume gf" or "my gf and I are fujos" in passing yet these weirdos go on graphic schizo spiels about anons being biphobic fake lesbians masturbating to men and their male bodies and wanting to have sex with them and do their damnest to derail the thread even when the discussion is dead. Imagine being that insecure about your sexuality, I know enough straight girls simping for anime waifus without ever being able to touch a woman IRL to know that fiction doesn't necessarily mirror your real life preferences.

No. 264986

File: 1652966108286.jpg (4.52 KB, 168x53, rot.jpg)

>>264983
>I'm a fujo but my girlfriend is a husbandofag who finds IRL men repulsive. She just asks me to cosplay as her husbandos all the time and I'm fine with it kek
I want you to reread this sentence about you masturbating to men all the time and letting your gf pretend you're a man from her animeys and reflect, dear bi4bi anon.(derailing)

No. 264991

… Anyways, what were your first dates like? In middle school I invited my crush to come with my family to an amusement park. She was really nervous about the rollercoasters but agreed to ride the big one with me if I held her hand. Neither of us really acknowledged it as a date at the time (or at least we still thought what we had was just a totally normal female friendship), but after I actually asked her out in high school, we would joke around that that was the real beginning of our relationship.

No. 265010

>>264991
>tfw I've never been to a date
All my relationships sort of started on their own without proper dating, unless of course you count us hitting it up as friends at first and just going to do stuff as friends etc. I feel like this happens a lot with lesbians, like you just sort of grow together.

No. 265073

Interesting to see how anons asumed the stuff about the fujo anon. Attraction is really seen differently from people to people.

just wanted to talk about some stuff on attraction to male, your warned

I mean it's stupid to act like lesbian are blind and can't say was is an attractive male. Unless you have sexual or romantic desire toward them irl I don't really think it mean a lot. As a kid/teen I was comphet and acted cute/be flustred around them because I was an autistic weeb who tough that it was the only way to befriend them but I would never dated or have sex or have sexual toughts about them. It's not because you find some lad physically attractive or aestetic that you want to fuck them (ot but tbh would love to be vetting dudes to do match making for my het friends). I don't know a lot about fujo or husbandofag and I don't really understand getting horny at some twink dude fucking but I do get why dude acting gay is thrilling to some, it's "spicy"/ rebellious since it's not socially approved (but for female it appeal to coomer).Tbh I do find het obsessed over irl mens like jerma facinating since he does not fit any standard but is some kind of sex icon to a lot of people, I like joking about is dump truck with friends but would not want a piece of that cake obv. At the end being lesbian is about exclusively having sexual and romantic feeling toward irl female, if you fit the definition idk why you would be bi for other trivial reasons.(lesbian thread)

No. 265091

>>264978
>>264983
>>264984
not involved in this fight but isn't the whole point of yume is that you're in love with or attracted to the character and want him for yourself? so it's like husbandofagging. if it's just platonic feelings then they aren't yumejo, just simply a fan of that character?

No. 265098

i feel like all my favorite lesbian things are always being cancelled for being “terfy”. i already don’t like most lesbian media currently because i feel it appeals a lot to a certain crowd. older lesbian media or older lesbians are now apparently problematic and i don’t feel like being ostracized because i read social studies by fran lebowitz.

No. 265146

>>264967
all of them, anon… you're tempting me

No. 265241

>>264975
I agree so much. Whenever I go to online spaces for lesbians and see bisexual women sperg about men they wanna fuck, I remember my bi exes who would tell me the men they wanted to fuck as if that's normal. They're either straight and hate men too much or feel too ugly to date them so try to get with lesbians instead.

No. 265243

random anecdote: when i was a kid and weeb i used to read yaoi and bl because i was surrounded by fujos and every time there was sex scenes between the guys in the comics it made me so uncomfortable, i just thought reading it was awkward as hell and i thought to myself like oh no… am i a homophobe because i don't really enjoy that much seeing two males having sex like my friends do… lmaooo hilarious on the hindsight

No. 265264

>>265243
Bisexual fujos and straight women itt will tell you you're not a lesbian if you don't like yaoi and liking lesbian media means you're the same as an evil moid. Kek.

No. 265275

>>265243
>>265264
God you have your autistic containment thread in /ot/, why do you keep derailing this thread with this vendetta? It seems you're the ones more interested in sperging about yaoi and anime men than some anons talking about their dream girlfriends.

No. 265279

>>265275
You can't come to lesbian thread, talk about male characters and get upset people don't like it. Even this anon >>265073 got redtexted. Go to bi thread.

No. 265282

>>265275
i just wanted to tell a funny story in the midst of the fighting that's all

No. 265320

File: 1653080982839.jpg (9.4 KB, 236x236, cba9f23b1843cd35336aa06fa3db65…)

>coming out story
So I was not coming out, but found out. In the worst way possible.

>be me, 13, hormones are raging

>i was mildly obsessed with mermaids ever since the tv show h20 came out when i was small
>so i doodle mermaids in my spare time
>think…what if booba…BIG BOOBA
>lennyface.jpg
>pretty much the babydyke version of the sketching scene from 'turning red'
>i cut out my booba mermaids and hide them in my schoolbag to look at later
a few days later
>my older sister is being a b word so i steal her tie and hide it in my schoolbag for the keks
>mum says i know you have it give it back or i'll scalp ur bahookie (ass whooping in scottish terms)
>i don't lose my cool
>she approaches my schoolbag
>i freak out a little too much 'MUM I'LL GIVE IT BACK NO'
>i give the tie back
>and my mum says 'what are ye hidin in there?'
>am covered in sweat
>she opens my bag as i freak out and procures my artwork
>'we need to have a talk about this'
>she shuts the door and we have a talk in another room together
>why did ye draw THIS? are ye gay?
>i am making some crazy excuses on the spot:
>i just…love art haha
>it's like societal commentary on how women are viewed (cringe)
>it's a present for someone?

in the end the drawings are binned and we never talk about it again. but i think since then my mum always kind of knew, and it was probably the most mortifying moment of my whole life. please tell me someone else has a more embarrassing story

No. 265324

>>265320
>it's a present for someone?
Kek this is so hilarious. You sound so chaotic.

No. 265338

>>265320
I think it's normal for girls to do this. That had to be a really embarrassing situation for you, but nice job on the attempted saves.

No. 265360

>>265320
anon this has me sobbing. do you still like mermaids?

No. 265367

>>265320
One time I'd just seen how anime thighs are drawn (please forgive me for my previous weeby indiscretions) and I just drew them (no body or head only thigh) all over what I assumed was my notebook, turns out it was the classmate who sat next to me's notebook. Unfortunately she too was a lesbian so she thought it was some weird flirting, I think I passed away for a bit because it's a blur what happened next but I ended up dropping that class. You are not alone.

No. 265382

>>265320
awh nona I hope you find the selkie woman of your dreams lmao

No. 265388

my mother found my reddit history when i was 12 lmaooo

No. 265394

>>265320
You remind me of my butt collection phase when I'd just cut out pictures of girls butts from magazines and hide them

No. 265408

>>265320
I insisted I was straight to family while being a tomboy who pastes pictures of attractive women everywhere (bedroom walls, closet doors, school locker, school agenda, etc.), drawing big booba anime girls and I didn't hide anything, except my exgf, but it was obvious what was going on. I was wondering why people called me a dyke when I'm obviously the straightest straight who ever straighted, which straight doesn't dance with a girl at the school dance while wearing a suit and top hat? I think it's pretty cringe that I brought girls up to my coomer tier bedroom from back then. I don't know if I was too autistic to feel shame, but my family doesn't believe lesbianism is real anyway. They only started freaking out real bad when I turned 16 and they started to get suspicious that I might not grow out of it kek. Some family members have accepted it by now, because I'm such an aggressively obvious case.

No. 265412

>>265394
all I can imagine is a little nonna protecting her girl butt pic cave like some rat

No. 265413

>>265394
>be you
>trip
>spaghetti falls out of pockets
>your plethora of butts fall out your pocket
>your great wealth of butts is guarded by the great dragon Smaug in a deep and hidden cave (shaped like a butt)
>you squirrel away your supply of butts in a tree for the winter
>>265412
I’m HOWLING at the imagery of the ass rat kekekek
>>265367
That sounds embarrassing enough to make me feel better lol
Anime thighs are supreme and I understand your interest
>>265408
Idk if we’re the same person here, right down to
>why every1 calling me gay??
It sounds like you were kind of a player though, hopefully the rest of your family accepts you.
>>265360
Not since that day, very tragic lol
>>265382
if i did i would be good to her and never hide her skins

No. 265417

>>265413
I was a player, but not by choice. Many wanted to experiment with me because of being very visible, but most went back to guys. I had a very bad success rate. Now nobody wants me kek.

No. 265421

File: 1653138625530.jpg (96.08 KB, 300x450, 1421566168.jpg)

>>265408
LMAO i was also very insistent about being straight but i guess my dad suspected something when i begged him to buy me a ranma ½ book with this exact cat girl ranma in the cover, like my dad was just like "really? you want this?"

No. 265425

>>265417
Dw nonna we have a very small dating pool, you sound like a legend, top hat especially.

No. 265435

>>265425
I wish I could get my autistic retard confidence back, now I only have it temporarily in the gym or with sports.

No. 265602

Spent the weekend hanging out with a bunch of lesbian and bi female friends and had fun. We're all pretty squarely friends though so there's a weird sadness in knowing that even amongst a decently sized group of women, none of us had girlfriends or wanted to get with one another. We're already such a small minority, and then within that we also need to find the few people we have chemistry with. Still, it was fun to have conversations about girls we liked, or banged, or dated, or wanted to date.

No. 265641

>>265602
Are…all lesbians like this? Never making moves? I hope the memes aren’t real…

No. 265656

>>265413

Massive(butt)ly funny, ty 4 kek

No. 265662

>>265641
the focus wasn't on "not making moves" kek it was the fact that none of these people are compatible with each other relationship-wise or have romantic chemistry, even if they're all friends. just because two lesbians know each other doesn't mean they want to date each other. i don't know how you could have possibly read that as lesbians don't make moves

No. 265696

File: 1653282537225.jpeg (50.1 KB, 500x667, 491A7994-E7BF-4FC9-A61C-367D59…)

i know i should not be angry but, when i was 12 i had this little middle school "girlfriend" and my older sister found out one day, and decided to tell our very religious single mom. she took me to her room and grieved in front of me, crying about how unnatural it was. i remember it weirdly vividly and i even asked her why it was wrong.

now 9 years later my sister comes out as bi & is dating a butch lesbian

>rage

>i don't really care if she was repressing or whatever she still threw me under the bus

No. 265736

>>265696
Average bi woman behaviour tbh.

No. 265737

head over hills w my hot bi roommate…. we’ve been hanging out together for like a week straight since I started summer break. like all day and all night. soooo fucking pretty. she looks like a mix of catherine zeta jones and rooney mara. i literally get wet just looking at her and she’s always wearing just a bra and boxers.

No. 265738

>>265737
Begone, moid.

No. 265740

>>265738
how is she a moid for expressing sexual desire….(samefagging)

No. 265741

>>265740
You're very obviously samefagging and honestly I'm an idiot too for responding but that post you wrote very clearly reads like an AGP trying to be "one of the girls" and initiate detailed sex talk because you've been coomditioned to think that lesbians act that way. If you wanna infiltrate this this thread to see if your shenis can still get hard after the titty skittles then I suggest doing your homework and learning how real homosexual females actually talk and act.

No. 265743

>>265741
you are retarded and very wrong but keep schizo-posting ig

No. 265744

>>265743
Thank you, I will. ♥

No. 265745

>>265737
This will not end well, I can guarantee it lol.

No. 265746

>>265745
maybe…. but she’s cute and im having fun(samefagging)

No. 265748

>>265738
>getting wet by looking at her
>she's 24/7 in bra and boxers
Samee. It sounds weird, even if she's not a man, why does she get wet when she looks at her gf? Why would a woman wander naked?

No. 265750

are u seriously asking why I get aroused when I see an attractive woman? we are literally on the lesbian thread…

also she isn’t ass naked her pjs are just kind of revealing and idk some women just enjoy showing off

No. 265790

I never thought I was into butches, but I'm currently spilling my spaghetti as a hot butch lesbian stays at my house. She's insanely smart, tall, and sporty. Being around her makes me want to get my life in order. She's a distant relative so nothing will happen

No. 265792

>>265790
Cousins by chance…lovers by choice… #farmersonly

No. 265797

>>265790
De/g/enerates….

No. 265822

Did the bisexual thread put a hex on this thread or something?

No. 265826

>>265822
Will this thread ever stop constantly talking about bisexuals and the bisexual thread?

No. 265827

>>265826
Will some farmers ever get the sticks out of their asses and learn to take a joke?

No. 265887

>>265741
typical polilez pearl clutching, lesbians that arent reserved and practically ace are akin to moids, hmmm? whats moidy about her post, specifically, enlighten me without pulling out seething lesbophobia. Plenty of women have come into this thread before and said they saw a hot woman they would like to preform sexual favors on her. Is it that she mentioned being turned on at her instead of going straight to describing her fantasies of sexual acts that triggers you so? Women have described much crasser to a positive reaction, which leaves me to believe the problem is with you and your delicate (paranoid) sensibilities. What is the "good" lesbian statement when a woman confesses her attraction? "Omg girls are so pretty!!"? Or "i want to braid her hair and hold hands!!"?

No. 265949

File: 1653377482379.gif (622.33 KB, 383x286, 1474256683012.gif)

I was such a comphet when I was younger it make me want to kick my formerself in the jaw.
Also if it was not shit enought I have no "gaydar" and the only girl at school who show interest in me is bi and cheated on her boyfriend with girl.
I wish I was not a stupid autistic lesbian.

No. 265976

>>265887
There's no good or bad lesbian, you retard. That post literally reeks of agp coomer and we had a few trannies when it was posted so anons thought it was made by a male. There are a lot more graphic posts that don't get banded like that because they're obviously made by women, not a man imagining two women. Women and men write sexual stuff differently. Thinking lesbian women get wet whenever they see another woman is scrote-like, so is imagining a hot woman hanging around naked to please him and give him boners.

No. 265977

>>265887
Doubleposting/samefagging because I just saw this but the agp literally samefagged so their sexual fantasy gets attention, see this where he >>265745 replied to himself two times and then got redtexted. It's literally a very obvious larp.

No. 265987

>>265976
>>265977
being able to recognize patterns makes you a polilez uwu

No. 266035

>>265976
well the samefagging is definitely indicative it's a moid but besides that specifically imagining a hot woman naked is actually normal kek

No. 266036

>>266035
tbh as a true and honest female i once had to change my knickers after speaking to a girl i liked for about five minutes so it could just be a hormonal lady kek

No. 266087

Is autist gymrat anyones type? like full on spergy autist too. just wanna gf who will watch jojos and raise cats with me.

No. 266093

>>266087
gymrat are such an interesting subculture. Jojofag too, and spergy as hell. What type of cat do you like ?

No. 266099

>>266087
Are you me? Are we going to make it?

No. 266101

>>266099
we’re gonna make it brah (sis)

No. 266105

>>266101
Will you be my wheyfu?

No. 266158

>>266035
Ayrt, he didn't imagine her naked which would be normal, he wrote about how the girl paraded naked in their house(classic male fantasy) in such a scrotish way. You can feel turned on by your gf or an attractive woman you're interested in but most women know lesbians don't just hang out in our panties and practice homosexuality in a performative way you'd see in lesbian porn made for straight men.

No. 266191

>>265887
Imagine having poorer pattern recognition and social skills than me, someone with terminal ass burgers. If you wanna talk to the AGPs that occasionally try their luck here then go ahead. But people like me that can tell the difference between moid fantasy and lesbian reality will continue to clock their obvious LARPs and tell them to GTFO, no matter how much you screech "polilez" at us. Seethe.

No. 266201

How do you all feel about sex toys? A part of me really resents the fact that some people believe women NEED toys (especially strapons) to have sex. That being said if anyone has any recommendations I'm sort of contemplating trying them out. I've only used external vibrators because penetration isn't super pleasurable for me honestly.

No. 266205

>>266201
32 single virgin here. (man that’s gross). i am very pro-sex toys. self or with a partner. i’m scared of them cause they’re so powerful but so many women swear by clit suckers. i ended up giving mine away.

I don’t know how toys feel like with partners. but i could never masturbate acoustically. putting my own fingers in myself feels like when the doctor does it. or like trying to tickle myself.

No. 266212

>>266201
I think toys are fine occasionally but I wouldn't want a partner that wanted to use toys every time. Esp a strap, I only want penetration around my period. I'd honestly be concerned if a partner was obsessed with only using the strap. If you want to use a vibe at the same time you could both lay on top each other between it kek

No. 266219

>>266201
When I'm with a partner strap-on play just isn't high on my list of things to do usually. Like anon above I mostly crave penetration close to or even during my period so I go solo with a toy. I can't personally be arsed initiating strap-on play with a risk of blood. Thanks body lol

I used to like Tantus toys alot but where I live now customs rates make them too pricey for me, I switched to Lovehoneys own range of silicone toys. Both have a decent range of harness compatible toys or offer bundles where you can buy the set together.

No. 266250

My gf doesn't enjoy penetration (and hates toys kek), so we don't use them. I like it a lot more… lots of skin to skin contact. I've honestly never used a strap so idk how they are, but like most anons here I'm only really into penetration a great once in awhile.
I've used vibrators on myself and I like them well enough, but I could take or leave them honestly.

No. 266258

i am not a male but please continue insisting I am. it is funny when people are confidently wrong.

No. 266261

i admit to samefagging…. yes it’s retarded but every time I post on here some paranoid repressed bisexual accuses me of being a dude because I find the female form arousing : /. I was just defending myself what can I say(:/)

No. 266266

>>266261
What are you so pressed about go eat pussy and relax

No. 266269

>>266266
you’re right thank u

No. 266292

>>266266
Because it's a male and he got exposed. Why else would he write a classsic straight mal fantasy and then reply to his own post then reply to that reply, kek? He saw no one interacted with his cheap fantasy so he tried to make it more believable.

No. 266309

I love women I love boobs I love women's shoulders I love women's hands I love women's wrists I love their stomachs and the happy trail that can appear on them I love strong calves and I love unbridled and unashamed laughter and I LOVE WOMEN SO MUCH! I spent so long not allowing myself to express this but I love being gay!

No. 266344

>>266201
With my gf we quickly bought sex toys. A strap but also bondage and a whip. It's ok but the installation time is annoying kek. It's less spontaneous. My girlfriend craves penetration tho so she loves it.

Also quite embarassing but using a strap quite worsen my dysphoria about having a penis.

No. 266346

>>266344
>Also quite embarassing but using a strap quite worsen my dysphoria about having a penis.
wait what

No. 266348

>>266346
Since little I wanted to be a boy. Then porn kinda fed this dysphoria - since it's mens POV. And finally yeah using a strap on a woman doesn't help to fight the dysphoria !

But no worries I know I could never be a man.

No. 266350

>>266348
Oh thank god I thought you meant it gives you dysphoria for having a penis. As in being a man larping as a lesbian.

No. 266353

>>266350
Kek i'm ESL sorry

No. 266363

just giving my two cents to this conversation: I haven't used toys during sex (have tried alone), but fingering is good / usually slightly involved. I also like tribadism, and clit rubbing. haven't noticed any particular craving or aversion to penetration, lesbians / bi girls on the internet seem more autistic about this tbh. Just going for expression of love & max orgasms, not a sex theory number chart/ sex toy praxis, lul.

No. 266364

>>266363
and not to be too graphic but:
eating a girl out while I grind on her leg until she comes & she then devotes attention to me >>>>

No. 266373

>>266292
what exactly would convince you, aspie? a timestamped karyotype? a personal vocaroo? profiling AGPs is your retarded special interest and u still suck at it girly because you’re barking up the wrong tree rn. ask your mommy to fetch your weighted blanket and fuck off.(just take your meds and act right)

No. 266375

>>266201
I've never used sex toys during sex. Too spontaneous for that and bad at planning. I wish I learned how to use a strap though, because I look like I know how to use one.

No. 266384

>>266373
NTA but your continued unsaged denial isn't helping. If you're not a tranny then don't act like one.

No. 266410

>>266309
Gosh I felt this. Used to be repressed too, now we’re free yay!!

No. 266521

>>266373
Why did you reply to your own post several times? Why are you calling me aspie when I'm not the anon that said she had aspergers? You're mad because you got found out. You've been breaking all the rules and doing weirdest stuff. A normal woman doesn't post scrote tier fantasy and reply to her weird post with the most cliche stuff. Why did you samefag several times? Why are you so aggressive? Why are you trying this hard to share your weirdest fantasy?

No. 266526

>>266521
I'm ass burgers anon and I'm sorry you got caught in the crossfire, nona. Top kek at that "insult" sounding like he just googled "what is Asperger's" and assuming you have to be super interested in "profiling AGPs" to spot moidposting though. Scrotes say the darndest things!

No. 267019

I was wondering if there was anybody who was stone butch or a pillow princess ? What made you lean more toward receiving or giving during sex ? Sorry if nosy but I find interesting to understand how people perceive differently their body and the one of partner in intimacy.

No. 267027

>>267019
I used to consider myself stone butch. I grew up in a very conservative religious environment, lesbian sexuality was unknown to me, let alone butch sexuality. When I did start looking into things online I thought butches were meant to give and seldom receive. I figured I was such a freak I should be happy to live that way. I ended up with women where I couldn't properly communicate my sexual feelings and desires and even if I could these pillow princesses weren't going to listen. Not judging pillow princesses as a whole, I just had shitty luck with women for a while. TMI but I come easily so if I was using a strap-on I would be satisfied that way anyway, for years I told myself that was enough and not to ask for more. Even my "romantic" partners still saw me as basically male so head for me was never really on the table and because I felt awkward getting it with these women I assumed I didn't like it. There was also elements of dysphoria in there that I had to overcome. Things changed with my wife though, she also grew up in a religiously conservative environment so she knew I'd be weird about sex too. For the first time in my life I talked about sex before having it. We took it slow while I did some more research. This post actually helped me a lot: http://dirtywhiteboi67.blogspot.com/2009/06/stone-butch-blues-stone-butch-shame.html?zx=6b254407f118b064 and after a lot of going slow and communicating with her I now have a healthy sex life. I do know several other butches who had nearly the exact same experience that I did. There probably are some women out there who are happy being stone, but I think the proliferation of the term "stone butch" has made butches even more hesitant to explore our sexuality. We already deal with being treated like men so when hear about this concept a lot of us are like "oh, that must be me then". Heaven forbid we think about it or ask for more and not be anything other than a stereotype, we're already on thin ice in the LGBT community for being dinosaurs of the past who apparently single-handedly uphold gender roles and toxic masculinity. You'd think in 2022 these issues would be better, but I still see a lot of baby butches go straight to identifying as stone butch without ever really thinking about things and finding themselves a partner who truly listens and doesn't treat them as two dimensional. Sorry for the word vomit and not really being stone butch. But I did live that way for nearly 15 years, so yeah.

No. 267033

>>267027
Even without people knowing of the term stone butch (because not Anglophone country), if you're masc you are going to be treated like that in bed. So I think getting rid of the term does very little, because it seems to happen automatically because butches are viewed as men or man-lite. Anne Lister literally describes having sex like that and I don't think "stone butch" existed as a term back then. Also I feel like everyone complaining about Stone Butch Blues just skipped over the last chapters explaining how the protagonist was wrong for judging other people and how butch4butch is actually really cool and she goes over apologizing to everyone etc. (which automatically implies you don't have to be stone). Stone butch blues also talks at length about how many femmes wanted their partners to open up more and many weren't even stone in the bedroom, but it was just expected that you put up that front in the bar. Everyone also forgets that the protagonist literally detransitions at the end and is happy to be called "sister" at a protest? It's actually very nuanced.

No. 267035

>>267033
Oh I agree, getting rid of the term would do next to nothing as masc women are already pressurised into certain believes. I'm ESL and before I ever immigrated or learned that term I had been conditioned to think that way. But with internet communities now often trumping IRL ones and with English being the predominant language online I think the meme'ing of "stone butch" to just mean "extra butch" is fucking things up a bit. I agree Stone Butch Blues is nuanced, but also I don't think it's that nuanced. I think it was too little, too late in the story. Feinberg was a fencesitter wanting the troon asspats and the homelike community from other lesbians so it's no mystery her writing comes off as at odds with itself. Not trying to argue with you, this issues goes way beyond that book anyway.

No. 267039

>>267035
The futch scale is the bane of my existence kek.
Butches were considered fencesitters in general at that time. At some point you were expected to either femme it up a little so you could fit in with radfems, because all the femmes had moved on to radical feminism, or you were expected to transition and fit in with the trans activists. There was no place for butches anymore and no I don't consider whatever polilez were doing to be inclusive of butches at all, the world turned black and white. Fencesitting should be allowed and forcing people to pick a side is only going to cause more trouble, when you don't fit in at either side. I think that's what Feinberg was trying to say and that's why both sides FUCKING HATE that book. Same reason both sides practically hate all butch authors for trying to be nuanced and trying to explain that you can't expect anyone to pick a side, when it means having to get rid of a part of yourself either way.

No. 267053

I get an overwhelming desire to have a baby with my gf lately, but only when I'm ovulating. Not like through a donor or whatever, just the two of us, our genes making up a little human. I don't even really want children but I guess my hormones are working overtime lol.

No. 267061

>>267053
I'm not 100% sure I'll actually have kids but it depresses me so much me and my gf can't reproduce. I don't know, it just makes me sad that our child can't be biologically related to both of us, unless our sperm donor was a family member of something, but that idea is too gross for me to consider seriously.

No. 267069

Real lonely hours out here Nonitas. Lately I've been imagining a woman somewhere in the world who is also a little lonely, wishing she could meet someone like me… thinking up ideal traits and little quirks, and when we finally meet she's ecstatic to have found exactly the woman she was dreaming of. I don't believe in soulmates like that, but I do hope that someday someone will love me for me. I want to meet all her standards and give her more happiness than she ever thought she could have.

No. 267073

>>267061
This fucked me up for a long time. I'm married and we're going to try for kids soon via reciprocal IVF which, don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful for, but it's kinda bittersweet that genetically the kid isn't a mix of us. Originally we were going down the traditional sperm donor route where I played no biological part but it upset my wife, it was very important to her to have my child after some health scares I've had. I hope if we have a second kid (we've always talked about having 2 or 3) we can have one who is biologically hers though. I guess it's always gonna be a battle of sorts because we each want the others biological child, it's only natural to desire that. God, I fucking hate being homosexual sometimes. Opposite sex attracted people have it so easy and take the power to produce a child that is both you and your partner for granted.

No. 267074

File: 1653924562754.png (155.36 KB, 400x308, ELcumfvXkAA5JfT.png)

>>267069
Same nonnie same. I'm hoping there is someone out there who is a little weird like me, I don't want to be a normie couple.

The problem is I don't even know how to approach women who I could be interested or vice versa. I know I get looks and compliments from girls flirtaciously (or at least I read it like that- is it projection perhaps?) but I never know if they are being sincere or just being polite. Idk how lesbian I read, I do dress a little unconventional in baggy clothes but have a fem face and body, so people might just assume I'm a straight girl with bad style. The only person that had a crush on me in years was a moid (go figure)

Sorry for the blogpost, hope we both meet someone cool one day

No. 267208

nonnas i love butches so much i can't with myself.

No. 267213

I think I've realized I'm just really into butches. The thing is… none of people who are into women I've met are butch. They're some flavor of 'queer' but ultimately still fairly femme even when they have short hair.


I just want a butch in a leather jacket to hold me and keep me safe and let me feel feminine and gay as fuck.

No. 267219

It hurts to see so many butches trooning out lately especially before pride month. My kweer coworkers always refer to me as they/them because they're scared I'll be offended if they misgendur me or something. I'm just butch and gnc as fuck but I don't have the energy to unload all my politics onto them kek.

Anyways I wish I had another butch to hold hands with at pride this month.

No. 267221

>>267213
>They're some flavor of 'queer' but ultimately still fairly femme even when they have short hair.
I never get this. They'll have short hair, still wear feminine shit, still wear some make-up and everything, but they decide the short hair alone means they have to use they/them pronouns and are totally nonbinary. Like I get that people think it's ridiculous no matter what you look like, but it just feels silly to have to treat someone like "not-a-woman", when they're 100 times more feminine than me.
>>267219
>Anyways I wish I had another butch to hold hands with at pride this month.
It's not pride here yet, but same.

No. 267232

>>267219
>It hurts to see so many butches trooning out
It really does hurt. As a butch I feel like I've been starved of butch friendship my whole life, to see the few remaining ones troon out… man… I fucking hate it. A close butch friend of mine announced her plans to troon out last year and it genuinely felt like a personal betrayal. She's the same age as me (30) and we've talked at length about dysphoria, societal pressure, getting crap from other lesbians and being pretty much the least liked sub-group in LGBT. All of that and for her to turn around and ask that I call her by a male name? That I support her self-destruction? We're still "friends" but there's a lot of arguments, she argues the most with me because she knows I see through this façade. I'm just holding out and hoping that she'll realise what a mistake she's making.

No. 267244

File: 1653994817933.jpg (202.56 KB, 640x640, e93c746112134fbb53b6e9aa4e300b…)

I hate being expected to choose a gender identity, to have something I feel like on the inside. No I don't feel like a woman and I don't like to be gendered feminine all the time, no I don't feel like a man on the inside either, or at least I hope not because I fucking hate them. Nonbinary doesn't make any sense to me either, because I'm not ambiguous, I'm obviously on the masculine side of the gender expression spectrum and I'm female. You know what I feel like on the inside? Like shit, a freak. Why do I have to say which pronouns I'm okay with? I legit don't give a shit if you want to call me she, he or they. Why does everything have to mean something, why do I have to commit or pick a side? Why do I have to either be completely comfortable being a woman or try to be a whole ass man?
Why can't I just "bind" one day and not the next? Why can't I be given just a tiny bit of testogel to increase bone density after being put on birth control during puberty (yes I already lift)? Why do I have to choose to either become a whole ass fucking man or change my identity, because for some reason we've decided that women aren't supposed to have testosterone? Oh no you might get a stray hair at these tiny baby dosages! But they are fine with giving it to you in GIGA dosages if you decide you want to be a whole ass man and get lots of surgeries. It's legit fucking retarded that people have decided that wanting any form of T ever means you must be a repper or want to be a man. Ever heard of female bodybuilders and athletes? Ever heard of how T can be used by regular ass women for health? Did you know that the only reason researchers thought it was a bad idea, was because it was unbecoming of a laadyyyy to maybe get a stray fucking hair? Did you know they used to recommend that you'd take T alongside birth control exactly to avoid losing bone density? They stopped that recommendation, because it didn't feel very ~feminine~ to recommend THE MALE HORMONE (even though women literally need it too) to women.
Retards on both fucking sides have decided that taking hormones or wanting to take them means you are trutrans and should be pushed out or dragged into the community and means you can't be butch, but that you have to want to be a man. No I wouldn't want to be on T all my life, just to fix whatever damage is done and to gain more muscle.
How come it's fine to mess with the hormones of teenage girls through birth control, because doctors can't be fucked to figure out why you have highly irregular periods or very painful periods. But oh no, T for an adult is too far, laddiiiess aren't supposed to want that! No matter how tiny the dose is. It must mean you're a real mans man or want to be one! All I want is to be in the upper ranges of what is normal for females, that's all.
I'm a fencesitter, always will be. I like having small boobs which I can easily hide with a good sportsbra, a super mild binder or just a regular sweater. Other times I like wearing a T-shirt and making it obvious I'm braless. I'm never going to want surgery, I know that for sure. I would never want any legal recognition or change my name, because I actually enjoy confusing authorities and the government. People sometimes use a gender neutral nickname for me, but I'm also fine with my given name, as long as they don't use the diminutive version. I enjoy that people come up with something else every time they see me, I don't want to tell them what I am, it's more interesting to see what they think.
I let people think I'm a boy if it's safer for me and it gets me treated better. I let people know I'm a woman if I think that suits me better. I'll say I'm transmasc to hang around other masc female lesbians around my age, because butches don't exist anymore and honestly I don't care to isolate myself for purity reasons of the RF cause. I'm attracted to butches, but if I say I'm a butch lesbian, they get muh dysphoria, so it's to get a foot in the door. My fencesitting gets people to think about how you don't have to go "all the way" and they detransition. I don't have much success in the romance department, but I've got that going for me.
You know how many my age think butch is a dirty word and have zero clue about butch history? They think it means being ugly, fat, old and mean. Not that there's anything actually wrong with those things, but that's all the representation of butches they see in the media. If they actually read the queer theory they claim to love, they would know that there were all sorts of butches. Including butches in grey areas who would be on T, would bind occasionally, be a drag king on the weekends etc. People nowadays (on both sides) draw these weird fucking lines in the sand as a form of cope or because they're deadly afraid that if they'll cross it even with their pinky toe, it means they will fully transition or that they are a scary butch. Some people draw the line at binding, many draw the line at being on/wanting T, to the point that there's not much difference between either side's logic. Unironically proving horseshoe theory right.
Am I coping? Maybe. I have to do something to deal with the fact that I'm at risk of being used as a political pawn by either side, which doesn't actually give a fuck about me. I'm just trying to connect with masculine females all over the political spectrum, live my fucking life and present in the weirdly specific way I want to present myself. Hopefully find a partner, or something.

No. 267245

>>267244
Never mind bone density, you need to get treated for Main Character Syndrome.

No. 267246

>>267245
I can pick between two kinds of therapists. The kind who will send me back to conversion therapy camp and to church or the kind who won't consider any other option but trooning out.

No. 267247

I thought I was bi and just somehow HAD to be attracted to men until my early 20s (around 21) when I finally realized that it just wasn't true. I'm 24 now but live in the Bible belt, thankfully I've moved to a bigger city but still I feel scared, I feel the need to comply to some sort of standard. I'm also very lonely because I know no one here and even online I don't really have friends. I'm thinking of just being straight even if it's a lie because at least I won't be alone, I would just be scared of having sex with him. Has any one else experience similar?

No. 267248

>>267246
And I relate. I put myself through nearly two months of conversion therapy after getting sick of being a butch lesbian. I also have an official diagnosis for gender dysphoria that, IMO, was obtained wrongfully from me when I was recovering from a psychotic episode, proving how shrinks prey on people like us. But acting like everybody is stupid but you may be what's holding you back socially. And how will fencesitting work out when the trans mascs find out you hold terven views? You're gonna have to pick a side eventually, even if both sides suck in their own exciting and unique ways.

No. 267250

>>267248
>And how will fencesitting work out when the trans mascs find out you hold terven views?
Many secretly hold terven views themselves and have no problem shitting on AGPs behind closed doors?
>You're gonna have to pick a side eventually
Nobody would have to pick a side if they weren't constantly hounded and told to do so. Judith Halberstam predicted the gender wars that are going on now already back in the 90's. Nobody wanted to listen to her, but both sides of the political spectrum have manipulated masculine females to infight only further and draw tribalistic lines in the sand. Instead of realizing that masculine females who chose differently aren't the enemy, but that either side will use you as a political pawn to discard later. Siding 100% with radfems means having to apologize for being in the women's bathroom or avoiding it, having to pretend I'm totally okay with femininity, always making it obvious I'm such a fucking female even to my own detriment and safety, having to isolate myself and disavow TiFs etc. Having to side 100% with TRA's, well you already know the downsides of that, but not everything is bad all the time. Several TiFs decided to detransition after meeting me. I think my approach works better than to call them mentally ill gender traitors who should all kill themselves for having internalized misogyny like practically every other female.

No. 267251

>>267245
This is hilarious I admit but also very dismissive. I don't think OP is constantly ranting and raving like this. It seems to me more like she's been bottling up all this frustration for a long time and finally let it out.
>>267244
I'm sorry it's been so difficult for you. Being a lesbian is isolating, a masculine woman doubly so. I respect your dedication to looking for the grey areas of life and not allowing yourself to be subsumed by extremist opinions. I wish it was easier for everyone to just be themselves.. And I hope that you'll find more friends who understand you and love you exactly as you are.

No. 267265

>>267247
Don't be an idiot, just get on some dating apps and meet people at gay bars. It's not rocket science. There are tons of people in your exact situation, you can meet them if you make an ounce of effort. Definitely don't rape yourself just to live a lie, it doesn't work.

>>267250
I'm not seen as a total butch (whatever the fuck that even is, lol) but I've actually been a GNC role model and caused a lot of my lesbian friends with dysphoria to reconsider as well, just by existing the way I do. Many tifs and handmaidens actually just don't know much about the TRA camp. When they see a healthy GNC lesbian who isn't afraid to share her perspective they often realize they do relate to us just fine. TRA's just weaponize nurturing language to prey on vulnerable women. Glad you're out there too, showing people you can just present whatever way you want and not be a tool for political fuckery.

No. 267268

>>267061
They can get stem cells through a spinal/bone marrow tap to create "sperm" then IVF it with the other partners egg

No. 267275

>>267019
High femme/pillow princess here, I think some of it is repression. I grew up Catholic and With my family where I got little to no privacy. I was a virgin til my late 20’s so I never felt the need to do that or experiment or anything, I never masturbated like most woman either I would cross my legs and I always felt like if I couldn’t finger myself how could I finger another woman? (That’s just me tho I’m know other lesbians started out not knowing how to do things and just learned) the only person I’ve ever been intimate with is my gf. but part of it is I just don’t think I’ll get enjoyment of giving during sex. I’ve never liked when ppl told me I had to try things to figure out if I liked them or not. I know myself really well to know I wouldn’t and in my lonely lesbian years the thought of trying to please someone didn’t turn me on. I am open to trying different things with my gf I just have to make sure she’s comfortable with me doing it
My gf is stone butch, she leans heavily towards being non-binary and it makes me sad but she says she doesn’t like being touched because she doesn’t like ..to feel like a woman? Like being reminded she has a vagina. I feel like our dynamic could change we’ve both talked about it In depth and I told her I’m open to doing certain things like going down on her and she says she’s open to it. You have to go into it knowing who you both are and and understand that someday it could change, or even stay the same, and that you’re both okay with that. We talk about sex a lot, and not in a sexy flirty way but In what does good sex look like to the both of us and boundaries and things like that just to make sure neither of us is missing something in our sex lives. I tend to be more vocal if I dislike something, while my gf is more passive and thinks she can do anything for me as long as I’m happy and it’s a bit unhealthy I want to make sure she’s really happy in her sex life too.
Something lots of lesbians don’t realize is that all stone butches are different. I've heard from other high femmes/pillow princesses that they’ll do some giving like fingering or oral if their stone gf asks them to, but lit’s really rare when they do I think all stone butches really dislike penetration , the main one stone butches want to avoid is having the strap used on them (which is perfect for me because as a high femme I never want to be the one wearing the strap). Writing it out it just sounds like being stone butch is like any other lesbian with preferences on penetration but I just feel like their boundaries are stricter and I imagine for casual dating or hookups a label like stone butch is really useful for those who want to be clear about their boundaries
I agree that no matter what, butches/masc lesbians are always expected to top or be dominant and it’s gotta be annoying and tiring to have that stereotype

No. 267322

>>267244
Being a woman isn't a feeling. It's a fact. Woman = human female

No. 267326

>>267322 and here it comes. obviously is a fact, but you can feel alienated of womanhood when you're a GNC lesbian, because even if its a fact, society define it as your ability to please xy "people"

No. 267328

>>267275
>butches/masc lesbians are always expected to top or be dominant and it’s gotta be annoying and tiring to have that stereotype
I'm a faggot butch (also into femmes though) and I honestly hate that when I hit on the rare few other butches on datingapps that it's assumed that I think they're less masc than me and that I just want to top them. Or they think I just want to be friends, which would be cool too, but no I want them to [explicit sexual description with homoerotic wrestling included]. Oddly enough, TiFs are more comfortable with it? With femmes I'm more a servicetop, submissive topping, I don't want to step on anyone. In a relationship, I would probably eventually let a femme do everything occasionally, but for a hookup? Nope. Am I being ridiculous? Probably, but since butches are so rare, it feels like if I give the greenlight for one thing, there are femmes who think everything is suddenly okay. Or they mock that I'm okay with one thing, but not the other. Or they get visibly turned off for me allowing anything. With other butches/masc females I think they get it more and don't suddenly treat me differently or as more feminine for wanting to receive.

No. 267331

Just got asked to march with my work for pride. I’m not a pride person but i want to cozy in with the other lesbians and the girls say the big gay bar in town is usually full of women.

we’re going drinking after so fingers crossed i can put my big girl pants on and talk to someone.

No. 267332

>>267326
Yeah if it were so easy and everyone agreed with it, I wouldn't get shit constantly in the women's bathroom, having to avoid the women's lockerroom since primary school, my own fucking doctor talks about me like I'm not one of many other women when she has a literal scan in front of her face with everything on there. I've been pushed out of womanhood my entire life and now I'm suddenly expected to feel super duper comfortable in it and wanting to claim it? Technically they're right, but if it were the case, why is everything targeted towards women always assuming that they're all heterosexual, all gender conforming? Even within radfem spaces "all women do xyz" "no women do xyz" "no woman looks like that/is shaped like that/fits in men's clothes"etc. I was already peaked before I found radical feminism, never even been a part of TRA shit or anything and constantly hearing that crap so much was just more alienation. Shit I never thought of as weird, was suddenly something women just never do. So how am I supposed to feel, when on one hand it's supposedly as simple as woman = adult human female, but the moment you actually become part of radfem spaces, you are bombarded with extremely restrictive lists and descriptions of what a real woman is supposed to be like? Getting accused of writing like a man or thinking of like a man? Like fucking hell, I thought I had finally found a place where gender nonconforming women would be accepted. Not one big celebration of femininity, heterosexuality, celibacy, lesbophobia and female socialization.

No. 267335

>>267332 anon i'm your side, i said that even if woman is a reality society does the most to make GNC woman feel aliens on their own bodies. Many genderconforming rads have no idea of this, even worse if they're straight.

No. 267341

>>267335
Yeah I know, sorry, should've tagged the other anon. Just wanted to add to it.

No. 267342

I want to do a profil on HER but its been more than a week that I don't know what type of pics to put on my profil. What do you think is best? I was thinking like front and 3/4 face pic to be able to see my potatoe head and a cute posed outfit pic and maybe a classic mirror selfie to show my height? I feel like a robot writting this but idk what to do …

No. 267343

>>267342
First of all, some semblance of proper grammar would help kek. In all seriousness though, the prompts her gives you are pretty decent, full body, face, with friends or animal if you have any, some casual and some more made up but never your best pics, you don’t wanna look like shit compared to them irl. I also add some meme that dog whistles my terf opinions

No. 267346

>>267342
Put in pics of stuff that shows your personality and hobbies, things that can be conversation starters and make you stand out from the crowd.

No. 267348

>>267343
kek my english is broken today. I had difficulties to put a finger on the never put your best pics. I was thinking about putting some songs in my bio that sound a bit terfy ( ref to biological female stuff in the lyrics)
>>267346
thank you! I'm so bad with this type of stuff. I will have to dive for some, I'm the type who never take pics.

No. 267350

>>267348
Great idea about the songs, nona! kinda annoying how her doesn’t have the tinder theme song thing, only artists linked by spotify. Her has a bunch of those questions and your answers you can add to your profile, very good for dog whistling for real!

No. 267352

File: 1654025628246.jpg (841.65 KB, 1600x900, cover1.jpg)

>>267348
I used some pics of family member's cringe compilation of me doing random shit, because I don't take many pics either kek
>>267350
I actually used books for signaling I'm terfy under one of the questions, but which have enough plausible deniability.

No. 267356

>>267352
Damn would it be possibly doxxing you if you gave me some terfy book titles or was it just hp?

No. 267434

>>267356
Nah not just HP. I pick books with "female" in the title and which could be construed as trans friendly, but are obviously exclusionary towards MtFs. Things like Invisible Women or books from the 60's-80's work. If someone calls you out you can say "Oh I had no idea!" without getting banned. HP is too obvious. There have been a handful terfy books or by terfy authors in the last 5 years on bestselling lists too.

No. 267441

>>267352
Did you know this Shrek picture is lost media

No. 267459

>>267356
nayrt but feminism for women by julie bindel. Watched an interview with her and she’s so amazing. on the first page about lesbianism she talks about how telling lesbians to troon out is the new conversion therapy.

No. 267460

>>267459
Bindel is literally a polilez? If you want to be avoided by literally everyone, definitely pick books by polilez.

No. 267464

File: 1654080931081.jpg (137.63 KB, 653x1000, 49636606.jpg)

>>267460
"Hey publishers, can I have lesbian books?"
"We have lesbian books at library."
The lesbian books at library:

No. 267471

File: 1654084904131.png (277.32 KB, 760x1241, Screenshot_20220601-140004.png)

>>267464
Legit, trying to avoid books by polilez is like traversing a minefield. Rubyfruit jungle is often touted as a lesbian novel, but Rita Mae Brown was a polilez, doesn't even believe homosexuality exists and thinks everyone is bi.

No. 267519

>>267460
ayart

i fucked up. that’s on me. the only other lesbian books i know are smutty or a very indulgent story about a werewolf who falls in love with a pathologist(i think) and they develop the emotional connection where they can sense each other.

yes it’s cringe as fuck judge me all you like.

No. 267541

File: 1654111113418.jpg (24.87 KB, 600x616, 33271d1b76ba45005367a62c47b9f5…)

>>267519
Name the werewolf book and author and nobody gets hurt.

No. 267558

>>267519
Aww nonnie, it's ok, if straight women can have their cringe viking barbarian romance books and 50 shades of grey, lesbians can read cringy smut books about werewolves too.
Where do you find lesbian books? The only place I know is Goodreads, but they all are tagged and referred to as "queer" or "sapphic" and it is never made clear how truly lesbian are the characters and romance (or if there is one) in the books

No. 267569

>>264539
>Butch
>taller than me
>stronger than me
>glasses
>interested in the same niche interests I have (historical fashion and media, specifically the 50s-80s)
>also weird/nerdy
>horror afficionado (but in the way we can discuss it, not soley into torture porn)
>leather jackets/bomber jackets
>lets me take care of her
>likes my voice
>high affection
>wants to hold hands
>not afraid to chase me down and give me kisses in silly little games

growing up even in other gay circles people would always act judgemental when I told them I was only really into butches. I guess cuz none of them were (basically just short haired femme aligned folks)

No. 267571

>>267569
How tall are you?

No. 267587

File: 1654122278791.jpeg (23.13 KB, 288x445, DC4BAF80-EB6E-4137-82B4-6B87A8…)

>>267541
kek i dug my kindle out just for you nonnie. Wolf by Meghan O’Brian. It’s exactly what you’re expecting.
>>267558
I’ll search on good reads then google them for a more in depth synopsis or review. Tipping the Velvet had good reviews and was made into a BBC show but i’ve not watched it yet.

No. 267591

i don't care about appearance that much, i feel like i can be attracted to many different kinds of women, but
>femme-ish (dorky butches can be so cute though)
>healthy weight/slightly cubby
>shy/sperg-y
>passionate about art/singing/playing instruments
>but also into weeb media involving cute girl characters, can relate to having grown up on the scrote part of the internet
>lets me pamper and compliment her a lot, doesn't mind affection
>likes talking/sharing her thoughts on whatever she's into at x point in time at length
>down to wear dumb matching outfits/accessories
>will come taking pics of pretty countrysides and abandoned buildings around the world with me
am i gonna die alone nonnies… a-ahah!

No. 267592

>>267591
>>264539
meant to quote

No. 267599

>>267558
NTA but as much as I dislike TheLChat, the only thread I keep up with is their lesbian books thread cause it has some really good recommendations. They also always warn you if there's woke/queer bs or a man involved or anything like that. I found most of my faves on there kek

No. 267605

File: 1654129003479.jpg (33.44 KB, 307x475, 6773700.jpg)

>>267587
Omg anon nta but I've read this and I loved it so much. If you have any other werewolf book recs please post them. I read picrel last month and it was okay but it has some weird a/b/o type dynamics. the alphas don't have dicks at least, but iirc there's some weird supernatural clit stuff and magic squirting. I skipped about 1/3 of the scenes..

No. 267624

>>267591
anon you just described me

No. 267625

>>267571
i'm 5'2 so it's not hard to be taller than me

No. 267640

>>267624
noni.. would it be weird if i asked for a way to contact you?

No. 267660

>>267625
Yeah I'm indeed taller than you and do fit the other points, though I have no clue what your voice is like kek
>The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari 1920
>Solaris 1972
>Mister Designer 1987
>The ugly swans 2006
>Cat people 1942
>Noroi the curse
>Pulse 2001
>Jacob's ladder
>Midsommar
>The babadook
Some horror movies I like, to give an idea

No. 267679

>>267587
Bless you for digging out your kindle, nonnie. ♥ I'm gonna get this today and read over the long weekend. I need more indulgent lesbian fiction in my life.

No. 267711

>>267471
The main character in that book fucked her own male cousin and was kind of comfortable and blasé about it. She just did it because she was horny. Idk why this is considered lesbian literature.

No. 267720

>>267711
>Idk why this is considered lesbian literature.
Because the bar for lesbian literature is in hell. I recently became a published author myself for something quite different but sometimes I think about trying fiction. Maybe I should stop complaining about why no one is listening to my awesome idea about space marines who are dykes who also kill aliens and start writing my awesome idea about space marines who are dykes who also kill aliens.

No. 267727

>>267720
Maybe you should for real? I just checked out LChat thread about books, as >>267599 recommended, and from what I gather a lot of published books are so bad, they even have grammar/spelling mistakes. Girlies are settling for formulaic basic stories simply because the bar is truly in hell. So I think if something is good, it has a chance of getting a lot of attention.
Congratulations on getting published!

No. 267863

>>267711
AYRT, I feel very vindicated now that I've never bothered to read the book.
>>267720
Congrats and please do! I wanted to write books too, but I think I'm a little too schizo for it.

No. 267872

>>267711
Wtf. Reminds me of all the recommendations on a million "Yuri" weebshit that always turn out porny or too chaste, formulaic and boring. I'd literally rather read about a straight person than have a lesbian character made okay with dick or so poorly written. I'd rather read nonfiction for the rest of my life. I can't stand the shit so many people tolerate, apparently.

No. 267941

>>267872
Every time I make an attempt at reading yuri because that's apparently the requirement for being a true lesbian it feels porny and uncomfortable, and this is coming from someone who has a high sex drive and finds women ungodly irresistible. Girls barely aged 18 (but often drawn way younger) living the lesbian life transbians think lesbians do. And even the ones that are supposedly serious center around the retarded "but we're both girls" drama with the other one being a mousey unkempt geek and the other an assertive popular high femme. Even BL developed past those tropes and has more variety these days.

I wish lesbian media wasn't just either coomershit or some tryhard artsy feminist performance piece, I just want a regular story about two adult women falling in love. I loved "My lesbian experience with loneliness", I want more of that.

No. 267958

I wouldn't say it's my type but I hate the pattern of women i'm attracted to

>bpd

>bpd
>histrionic
>npd
>bpd

>>267640
This missed connection

No. 267964

>>267941
please link me the mousey unkempt geek and high femme yuri you've found

No. 268010

File: 1654328774265.jpg (47.67 KB, 480x480, 76edab095ca23962aa1b01a8255501…)

>>267941
God me too nonnie. I just want to see two adult and normal women together. I'm also constantly looking for stuff with two nerdy women being together but I guess it's not sexy enough for men. Does anyone knows some good stuff ?

No. 268026

File: 1654334785872.jpg (23.97 KB, 680x356, strange boy.jpg)

>>267624
umm… she just described me actually?

No. 268028

>>267941
>>268010
You should look for stuff written by female artists and in manga sites that have a majorly female userbase. I personally can't stand yaoi and when I read it because my friend recommended, I'd cringe at sexual stuff and skip it.

No. 268029

>>267941
Maybe try webcomics/manhwa? That is where I usually see the most lesbians & it also has stories with adults in it. There was a popular webcomic “what does the fox say” (lol). It’s a workplace romantic triangle. I have not read it though

No. 268030

>>268028
>manga sites that have a majorly female userbase
do you have some suggestions? that would be great!

No. 268062

>>268030
My fujo friend used mangago, it's mostly yaoi but there are a lot of Yuri stuff too and most should be more female-gazey because most of the userbase are women or girls if it hasn't changed. Good luck!

No. 268095

File: 1654367334536.jpeg (42.19 KB, 924x332, images - 2022-06-04T192532.759…)

>>268030
>>268062
I read a lot of GL and mainly use mangago to find them but honestly it's pretty hit and miss. Most yuri manga is as other anons described, scroty as hell and just unbearable. There are a few diamonds in the rough though, Still Sick, How Do We Relationship? and Crescent Moon and Donuts come to mind. Most of the stuff I enjoy is korean or chinese GL webtoons cause they're very obviously written by women and rarely feature underage girls. Here's some on the top of my head (genres and quality vary widely, you can find them all on mangago and a lot are legally available as in English as well):
>Opium
>Ring My Bell (cute af highly recommend)
>Swallow Tail
>Mojito
>Mom, I'm gay
>Bai Lijin among mortals
>Straight Girl Trap
>Her Shim Cheong
>Re-Blooming
>Relationship Guidelines
>Kill Switch
>Please Leave My House
>Pan Focus
>Unrequited Love Skill
>After the curtain call
>Maid in heaven
>Soulmate
>My princess charming
>Would You? Could You?
I could add more but I'm starting to think that I have a problem kek. Judging a book by its cover is key here. Just browse and pick the ones with art that isn't very male gazey tfw no gf to sperg about GL with

No. 268171

If you've been through conversion therapy or similar, is there a way to retrain your brain?
Sometimes I worry I'm messed up for good. I can't get through sex without triggering a bunch of memories and it's really only fun if I'm not sober, and I don't want to be that way.

No. 268177

every girl that is somewhat my type is either polyamorous or too outgoing to mesh with me. i hate this nonnas

No. 268219

File: 1654423565022.jpg (60.74 KB, 564x618, wife.jpg)

>>268095
thank you so much nonnie, this is amazing, I will check all of them!
>I could add more but I'm starting to think that I have a problem kek
Please do it if you have time!

No. 268228

>>267727
>>267863
Thank you, both! Actually my grammar and spelling is a lot of what holds me back from branching out, as stupid as that sounds. I only got published with the the help of online grammar checkers, my wife and my editor. I'm ESL and dropped out of school at 15 so you can imagine what my raw manuscripts looked like kek. Also I'm a certified schizo and my book survived two separate psychotic episodes, so don't worry about it too much. I found that writing out my schizo tangents in a separate document helped me a lot. It's like vomiting, you just gotta get it out of you.

>>268171
If you don't mind me asking, what kind of conversion therapy did you have? I had aversion therapy where I took a drug that made me sick whilst lesbian pornography was shown to me. For a while I couldn't get past kissing and even that was a struggle for me. From talking to other lesbians who went through this kind of conversion therapy there's no real roadmap to success. The most obvious thing is to go slow, of course. If you had aversion therapy though do NOT try to initiate sex after eating, I needn't explain why. Give it 4-6 hours if you can, you'll still dry heave but at least you're not repeating the link of lesbian sex = being physically sick. If you have an understanding partner just spend a lot of time of being tactile with them but not in sexual way. Hold them, be held. Stroke them, massage them, etc. But don't escalate it. What helped me was doing this clothed at first for about 5ish times before graduating to underwear for a while before finally graduating to being naked but still keeping it non-sexual. Bringing hobbies into this can help. I would play video games while being held or lying next to my wife and it would help with repairing my associations of being with a woman. It sounds odd but basically just get your brain to understand that being undressed or nude with a woman = happy chemicals. Then from there go to making out and progress sexually at the pace of a snail. It's not perfect and even now I will suddenly retch sometimes. I don't think I'll ever be fully healed but I do have a healthy sex life. If you don't have a romantic partner I suggest looking into sexual/intimate therapy, I forget the proper name for it but basically these therapists will hold you whilst on a couch or a bed while you talk things through. Sounds skeevy, I know, but I promise it's not prostitution (although some women in the US tell me some "therapists" do offer sex), apparently it helps. That's all that comes to mind for now, sorry for the wall of text. If you have any questions though feel free to ask. I wish you the best, nona.

No. 268232

>>268171
>>268228
NTA, but I think I was lucky. The kind I got was mostly just talking and not much aversion. Also things like yelling and hitting with a ruler and an "exorcism" to cast the "male demon" out kek. So I don't have a physical response like disgust, but just a whole bunch of psychological brainworms. I sometimes go into a panic about how lesbianism doesn't exist, women can't really be attracted to women, I'm just a dirty fetishist, nobody could ever love me blablabla. I get triggered when people shit on hedonism, because me "giving into my unnatural impulses" was framed as hedonism which would ruin my life and is just mindless pleasure seeking. But stuff like that is a lot easier to overcome and push to the side, than an involuntary physical response I assume. I have created my own schizo lesbian Christianity as a cope, which does actually work somewhat because there were saints and nuns who dressed as men and lived with women and were accused of sleeping with them. So apparently butch lesbians do have grace, ha! I can't even really believe in a god and yet I still need the cope because "what if"? I also went to get massages at a spa to be okay with being touched and to not feel as much like a disgusting horrible monster who shouldn't be allowed to exist.

No. 268233

>>268171
I think you might need trauma-based therapy to work through this one. Just imagine you have PTSD and sex is your trigger. If you can find a therapist specifically trained in trauma recovery who understands your situation and is unbiased against lesbians, they should be able to help you. If you can't trust a professional with your story like that, there are plenty of other options to try. Reading books about trauma is a good place to start, like Jasmin Lee Cori's Healing From Trauma. She outlines many different jumping off points for working through your pain.

No. 268240

>>268232
>I have created my own schizo lesbian Christianity as a cope
Anon, are you me? I converted to Christianity after becoming disgusted with Judaism only to create bigger problems for myself with conversion therapy (I'm >>268228). I managed to walk away from conversion therapy before my exorcism though, so I guess I still have my male demon kek. I got yelled at daily for being butch though and hit for talking back about it. I know exactly what you mean though about the "what if?" feeling, and yes there were butches in the religion! We're not alone! Men just don't know how to interpret divine grace, tbh. Now I kinda view my homosexuality like my autism: a developmental disorder that is not natural but not inherently evil either. I think the most powerful force in the universe is love, so how can my love make me evil? I know it's mental gymnastics but I was raised in a strict religious environment and I just need that religious framework behind me in life to make me feel at ease. I'm sure you know the feeling.

No. 268249

Any anons that used to identify as bi but turned out they were lesbian?

It feels a bit awkward to change the lable and ever since I realized I'm gay my fear of homophobia shot up to the sky. Hope it mellows out or some shit.

No. 268257

File: 1654436603958.jpg (77.13 KB, 718x960, 91d1169d1de823da0a3678b9d5aab2…)

>>268240
Evidently the exorcism didn't work on me, so I think it doesn't matter either way kek. I think men are just hypocritical, if they actually followed theology to the letter, they would know you can only say where grace is and not where it isn't. That no sin is worse than the other, so you can't single out gay people like that even if it were an actual sin. But especially when they don't give alcoholics or pedo's even as much shit as they do gay people. The original texts don't even condemn homosexuality per se, but pederasty and pedophilia. Typical that they changed that into condemning homosexuality, leaving out the pedo part, of course men would do that. I view my homosexuality as god given and nobody can truly say why god did that and they would be lying if they said they actually had any idea. Ironically enough what kickstarted accepting myself was hanging around a bunch of nuns, who told me about what their life was like before they became a nun, many were lesbians. They told me to go live my life and do what they didn't get the chance to do.
>I think the most powerful force in the universe is love, so how can my love make me evil?
If the only true commandment is love god and thy neighbor, technically you're just doing what Jesus told you to do. The truly evil thing is conversion therapy and trying to make people not love people.
>I know it's mental gymnastics but I was raised in a strict religious environment and I just need that religious framework behind me in life to make me feel at ease. I'm sure you know the feeling.
I guess I do. It's weird though because I don't think I've ever been able to truly believe in a god. I never really got the comforting from it. Yet it's still something that nags me in the back of my mind. Pascal's wager I guess.

No. 268268

>>268249
It all works out in the end usually, I told my mother I was Bi and I've never said oh actually I'm a lesbian but with enough of my man hating she knows. Same with my father now I think about it but he just straight up asked if I was a lesbian.

I unfortunately cannot weigh in on friends because I never really bothered coming out to them and just stay Bi so the ones who could be secret homophobes stay secret.

No. 268275

>>268249
I thought about coming out as bi to 'soften' any blow to my family that I would never end up with a man, even though I knew it was wrong for me… I know that even though my family is (mostly) accpeting, they will still view it as 'just a phase' sexuality where you will date girls when you're younger and be expected to get with a man when the time comes for a serious relationship. It's not fair to claim I'm bi if I never see it happening, and not fair to true bi women either

No. 268276

>>268257
I love that quote from Anne Lister so much. On a good day I truly believe that, but most of the days it's the developmental disorder thing that I mentioned. Considering that my average opinion used to be "unholy, unnatural, I should kms" that's a huge improvement. Moids really did butcher theology, I haven't met many nuns but the ones I have talked to have all said things that hugely helped me and impacted me. If only men of the cloth imparted wisdom at the same rate.

>>268268
>I never really bothered coming out to them and just stay Bi so the ones who could be secret homophobes stay secret.
I genuinely don't mean this in a cruel way, but you need to grow a fucking spine. If you're content to stay friends with a potential homophobe because it might cause social disruption and you might lose that person as a friend you will never lead a truly happy life where you are comfortable as who you truly are. I know that sounds harsh but I did the same thing you did as a teen and when I ended up in a relationship with a woman I was socially ostracised and such a pussy that I didn't even say anything. To this day I regret it and wished I was honest about who I was and stood my ground against those piece of shit homophobes.

No. 268297

>>268276
I get you genuinely and if a friend of mine came up straight and was like yes I am homophobe I'd drop them (and so would my other friends, they're progressive but not the the extremes) as I've done publicly in the past (to a racist). Luckily we all grew up around diversity.

Only one of my friends I would wonder, but I think she's more the "lol don't have a crush on me!!" type than anything.

No. 268301

>>268297
I'm glad you get me, I was worried I came off too bitchy lol. It was a bit of a kneejerk reaction because I've been in a similar situation; though yours actually sounds better than mine. I've known women like that who tell you not to hit on them and usually they either say that stuff because they've never met a lesbian before and don't know how to act around us or they feel awkward and don't want to seem homophobic so they just say the first thing that comes to mind. It's usually a pretty small amount of those women who are genuine lesbophobes/homophobes so I hope things are good for you.

No. 268336

>>268233
Sometimes I feel like I can't even ask or say anything to anyone because it's all stuff I chose to put myself through. I had a planned life trajectory that needed to stay on course for the good of my family (long story but I will be a caregiver to a family member when my parents can't) and as a teenager I couldn't see that happening if I was gay because I would either be kicked out or given an exorcism like my friend D and I couldn't let either of those things happen for my own sanity. It's so fucked and stupid I can't even talk about it without feeling like an insane person. Not even anonymously how fucking dumb is that.
I still ended up coming out when I was an adult and just utterly panicking and doing it in the stupidest way. And now I've got all these horrible memories and associations that pop up what feels like every five minutes. What I went through doesn't even compare to what the other anons here had to live with but I still feel like I'll never be able to heal from this.
Typing this up I think you're absolutely right. I need to talk to my therapist about this or at least tell her I need to talk about it, she's good at sussing me out. Sorry if this is incoherent I just feel so ashamed of myself. I hate talking about sex at all and it feels weird to go to therapy so you can enjoy it more.

No. 268337

>>268336
Sorry samefag, thank you for answering me anon and to everyone else who continued the discussion. I'm really grateful for your thoughts and willingness to discuss something so difficult.

No. 268385

>>268336
>>268337
That's ok, nona. I'm >>268228 and I willingly put myself through conversion therapy too. I think it's more common than most people would imagine. It doesn't mean that we that we don't have the "right" to talk about our experiences, we suffered too. If we were of sound mind we would have never put ourselves through that in the first place. I hope you find a way to help heal yourself, nona, you deserve it. We all do. ♥

No. 268394

i need to touch a boob ASAP

No. 268397


No. 268418

sage for autism If you were granted 3 wishes related to being a lesbian/anything LGBT related, what would you wish for?

No. 268425

>>268418
1) a wife, obviously
2) secluded property where we could live unbothered
3) scrotes to leaves us alone, really all women who don't want their attention

No. 268426

>>268418
>gf
>tranny-free michfest
>roadtrip with gf to tranny-free michfest

No. 268429

>>268418
Can no more troonsbians be a gimme?
>unlimited money to buy my wife gifts and take her on dates
>publishing deal for my gay little stories
>more irl lesbian/bi women friends
This was cute anon
>>268385
Same to you, I hope we can both heal. Thank you again, I really appreciate it.

No. 268462

>>268418
>gf with equally high libido who wants to go travel with me
>a little farm to live on with my gf and maybe enough room left for some tiny houses for L&B friends (to visit or live in too)
>having the money, equipment and skills to direct lesbian artsy movies

No. 268469

>>268418
1. Wife
2. House
3. Cat(s)

No. 268480

>>268418
I'm very lucky in that I already have a wife, money to spoil her and our own patch of land to call home so mine are kinda silly.

>lesbian romcom with Uma Thurman

>lesbian bars make a huge comeback and defy logic by remaining AGP free
>the term "wlw" is magically removed from culture and everyone's memory

No. 268482

I got they/them-ed the other day and I’m trying not to let it get to me cause though mu
shape is feminine my clothes and attitude are not.

But it’s getting to me. I’m very proud to be a women.

No. 268485

>>268482
I got they/themed in a drugstore when I did one of the few feminine things I do. Asking where the glycolic acid pads were for muh skincare. I'm slightly worried they thought I'm a beginning TiM because I don't have a feminine shape.

No. 268486

>>268482
>>268485
Just remember that corporations deliberately created all those labels to directly hurt GNC and gay people, don't fall for their traps

No. 268488

>>268486
That's not how it went either and you can't rewrite history. Just because corporations coopted it, doesn't mean they created it. Even without that stuff, people would still be calling me a man an it, intersex or a wannabe man. Entire society, heteropatriarchy already exists to directly hurt GNC and gay people. They really don't have to invent anything extra for it. The evil thing is that they took shit which individual people did to cope 50 years ago and turned it into a product. People were trooning out long before it went mainstream, because society fucking sucks and butches weren't welcome anywhere long before any of this shit.

No. 268494

>>268488
Well said. There is a corporate agenda now but it's just your average pride month crap to shill more products that we absolutely do not need. The thing to be wary of is big pharma and psychiatry. They benefit greatly from self-hating gays and self-hating GNC people. "dysphoria" is literally just the clinical term for living in a society that treats GNC people, particularly GNC women, like utter shit. For years upon years society tells us that we're unnatural, yet shrinks wanna tell us that feeling unnatural is actually because we're men? Fuck no.

No. 268509

>>268488
Don't get angry at me i was just trying to make anons feel better about their situation tf

No. 268673

>>268509
I think she's mad at the other people who made butches feel that way, not you. I understand the anger because I was also bullied as a kid because everyone thought I was a boy, lol. This was way before the trannyshit. Heteros just hate women who aren't feminine as fuck or just happen not to fit beauty standards.
Trooning out in the past(before 20th century) was mostly reserved for women who wanted to marry other women or work in male professions. Rather than being gnc, those women were discriminated against and held back just by the fact they were women and most didn't want to become man, they just acted like one. Afterwards, society's views on women changed and the women who were bullied for being gnc either went all the way or tried their luck at looking feminine.

No. 268724

Discussion of male red flags in the relationship general made me wonder. What do gyns think are red flags for women?

I'll start
>Won't say what she wants but punishes you anyway when you don't give it to her
>Won't commit but demands all your attention
>Has no other friends, or ditches her friends while infatuated for you

No. 268732

File: 1654609769618.png (222.85 KB, 512x547, bleh.png)

>>268724
>Won't say what she wants but punishes you anyway when you don't give it to her
This made me groan. Totally. Even if the punishment isn't intentional (ex. she withdraws involuntarily) it's a red flag. Adults should be capable of communicating their needs.

No. 268842

>>268724
Here's my red flag special for my fellow butches IIT, all of which stem from experiences I've had in real life:

>bisexual women who have only or mostly dated men and talk obsessively about men they find hot

>being treated like a dildo on legs, sex is only about penetration and your needs are barely considered
>supporting troons
>thinks being butch is a choice
>thinks you emulate men
>assumes your butchness stems from trauma
>finds it funny when you have stereotypically feminine traits or hobbies
>faghag
>doesn't take you to meet friends or family when they claim to be openly same sex attracted
>is into polilez activists and authors
>no GNC women in friend group
>calls you daddy, zaddy or any other variation
>degrades butch4butch relationships and friendships
>derides you or is disappointed in you when you cry or show emotional vulnerability and intimacy

I've probably missed a few but that's all I can think of for now.

No. 268844

>>268724
>If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best
I know this seems obvious, but I somehow didn't take it seriously and didn't instantly run when my ex said something along those lines. Never again

No. 268895

>>268724
>tries too hard to be woke and not hurt troon feelings, feel like you can't be totally honest with her
>focused on wlw softness eg. picnics in the woods and holding hands
>thinks gay people shouldn't be allowed to jokingly call themselves gold stars/thinks being one makes you snooty (i'm not one either but this was my ex and it was very uncomfortable)
>on dating apps bio says something like "i love the office, food and adventures"
>immature taste in media like disney

No. 268934

File: 1654678937228.jpg (31.23 KB, 564x562, ad703664dc3610f7b15e4364bf54f3…)

>>268842
This is why I barely dare to date femmes at this point, those points hit too close to home.

No. 268938

>>268895
>disney

urgh every adult woman i’ve met who’s obsessed with disney has been so manipulative and self obsessed.

Cosplay is a red flag. Self own too cause i cosplay and I can be a judgey bitch. But some cosplayers can just be the absolute worst women you’ve ever met.

No. 268957

>>268934
AYRT and big same. I'm so relieved my wife is GNC because after dating femmes I just don't think I could marry someone like that. I know it works for some butches and I'm not bashing it. But for me personally I've been burned too many times, I needed a partner who gets it.

>>268938
>urgh every adult woman i’ve met who’s obsessed with disney has been so manipulative and self obsessed.
I won't even befriend people who are obsessed with Disney. They're emotionally immature, narcissistic and like you said, manipulative. Fucking weirdos too.

No. 269003

>>268957
NTA but same, I avoid femmes like the plague. I'm GNC and my gf who was trying to fit into the femme side of things has become liberated from that shit after meeting me. Apparently she didn't really want to dress that way, was just doing it because she thought she had to… turns out she had this idea in her head that she looks male when not dressed a certain way and it's just not true. Very few women legitimately look confusing anyway, like Rain Dove who still looks female if you look at her for longer than a second. I'm still more GNC than her but I love that we don't give each other stupid gender related bullshit, that we can just self-express in whatever way is comfortable and appealing to us.

Thought of a silly red flag
>sends reaction gifs on discord/twitter/text
It's okay in an imageboard setting but people that send gifs on other social platforms are bound to be basic as fuck. Kind of like The Office fans I guess? I feel like it's related.

No. 269005

>>269003
>I love that we don't give each other stupid gender related bullshit, that we can just self-express in whatever way is comfortable and appealing to us.
AYRT and same. My wife jokingly calls me her himbo because I'm a bodybuilder and dumb as rocks and one time she called me it at work when I said something silly and our FTM co-worker pounced on it like "anon, do you identify as transmaculine? are you this? are you that? are you XYZ?" and it made me realise how tiring that life must be. How a silly little word like "himbo" could be a crucial clue about me actually being transmasc or whatever the term du jour is for a self-hating butch at the moment is just… I can't comprehend it. For people who claim to be rebelling against gender they sure do spend a lot of time conforming to it.

No. 269012

>>269003
>people that send gifs on other social platforms are bound to be basic as fuck.

you described me nonna. absolute basic bitch. pumpkin spice frappes and bug cat capoo reaction gifs in every place that allows them. just waiting for my wheyfu in shining uggs and leggings kek

No. 269037

File: 1654714311182.png (223.98 KB, 540x529, popp.png)

i hate that dressing in alt styles is often a massive red flag i just want an alt gf who isn't a gender special or batshit insane please

No. 269176

File: 1654773976344.jpeg (457.71 KB, 750x815, 0AF9F35C-A58A-42F7-8747-1170C2…)

Xbox have “designed” a pride controller. the lesbian flag is hidden in the bottom corner and here is the stunning and brave lesbian they’ve chosen to represent the company.

No. 269177

File: 1654774100057.jpeg (78.26 KB, 347x297, 589927A3-C868-4D90-A528-113C41…)

>>269176
the controller.
excuse potato quality i’m on work wi-fi but it’s not quiet who influenced this the most.

No. 269179

>>269177
Lmao, not the trans flag being the biggest one and in the center. Xbox knows their target audience
Also, ignoring the politics, the design is very ugly. Doesn’t look like a professional did it it is just some rainbow puke all over

No. 269180

>>269037
I want a goth gf, but think the stereotypical "vampire prince with long hair who likes violin and sword fights" kinda goth. But all I ever see is straight aidens who try to transition into the visual kei bandmen/fictional scrotes they're attracted to, ugh

No. 269188

>>269176
Lord give me the strength not to a-log.

>>269177
If you shook this in front of me enough it'd trigger a seizure. It looks like a queer vomited on it.

No. 269198

>>269012
You're not for me in a dating capacity but I think you are charming. Do you, basic friend.

>>269177
>intersex flag more prominent than the lesbian flag and repeated twice
Why is that even in our fucking umbrella. Even trannies are gayer than intersex people.

No. 269201

>>269198
Intersex people themselves don’t want to be a part of the lgbtq + they don’t fit in either, since intersex is a medical condition. It’s like adding breast cancer pin to the pride flag for good measure or some shit. But transes looove using intersex conditions as a validation tool for their mental illness. So obviously they are adding intersex flag next to troon flag to pander even more

No. 269202

Idk if it's a stupid reflexion but I think I finally know why I hate when twitter kids go " omg this 2 male/ 2 female characters are tot canon gay together because they do normal shit same sex close friends do irl ". I don't think gay dude get influenced by that ( I just cringe when it's stuff like jojo where the author and original target audience is male or mainstream ). I think this type of behaviour can be damaging to young autistic lesbian. With this type of implication and the difficulty autist have with understanding difference with friendly interest toward them and love interest it just create confusion. I often feel in situation were it's just closeness ( reasuring someone on their features, sleeping in the same bed as another girl ) like I'm a wolf in sheep clothing even if I don't feel sexually attracted to the friend I'm interacting with. Being friend with girl I find pretty make me feel like a scrote thinking female talking to them can only be potential mate.

No. 269209

>>269005
I wish I had a gf (or wife) to call me her himbo. Your relationship/marriage sounds really cute, glad you have found each other!
>>269037
>>269180
I'm vaguely alt (I can't stick to a clear aesthetic) and masc, but I am indeed batshit insane. In the schizo tinfoil at 1 am way, or sperging, but at least bpd free.

No. 269220

>>269202
Ok so I know what it's like to have this issue of feeling like I'm predatory so consider this the preface to what I'm about to say. I don't think you can blame your paranoia/internalized homophobia on children trying to relate to characters online. That's a you problem. I get that there is a disability element to this but there isn't anything actionable about what you said besides forcing people to stop head-canoning gays? You're better off working on your level of discomfort around being near women. Straight women generally don't give a shit about being found attractive by people who can't harm them. Lesbian attention (that doesn't cross a line like hitting on her when she already shut you down) isn't the same as male attention. We aren't gonna rape or murder straight women the way men do when rejected. You are not a threat. Think of it this way, does a straight woman feel predatory when she has a covert crush on a male friend? No. She's harmless and whether the guy is into her doesn't change that she's harmless. Lesbian attention is female attention. It's not predatory.

There have been discussions about this topic in the past threads so you may wanna CTRL+F some keywords and see what others have said on the topic as well.

>>269209
My gf calls me a short king to tease me sometimes kek

No. 269222

>>269220
Wanna add part of the paranoia comes from being told we're men-lite by homophobes but it's just not true. These same women also do ahteful things towards their fellow straight women in other ways so pay them no mind. They hate themselves.

No. 269223

>>269209
same nonny. blue (or green) hair. septum ring. friends think i have undiagnosed adhd i’m such a sperg. gonna be a pride next month like “nobody knows i’m a terf

No. 269247

>>269220
understandable anon, tbh I'm lucky I'm almost exclusively friend with women so I was able to pick social clues on what is correct in female friendship. In my case it's probably due to the fact that I have been in situation normal for female friendship where I felt threaten by the other woman ( luckily it was just big cultural misanderstanding since the friend was from a place where they are very expressive and tactile ).

No. 269248

>>269220
>My gf calls me a short king to tease me sometimes kek
your gf is based
>>269223
Oh I haven't dyed my hair. I can just slick back my hair and put on a suit to pass as a normie at work (I only get tattoos I can cover easily). I just have the eboy haircut. My style and music taste is all over the place: emo, goth, punk, metal, ska etc. I used to dye my hair and I used to have piercings, but I quit all that when I went to uni and had to be presentable to get an internship. I didn't exactly study something which is alt-friendly. As an old zoomer I look pretty boring in comparison to the average young zoomer "queer".

No. 269249

>>269176
has he tried to hide his hoarding space with a blur tool or what is that shit on the background

No. 269260

>>269223
Remember those "nobody knows I'm a lesbian" t-shirts? I wanna get one that says "nobody knows I'm a transphobe" and wear it to pride to enable PvP mode.

No. 269273

>>269260
As funny as this would be, the 40 year old men in dresses would flip their shit and probably kill you, then later claim it was self defense or some shit and get away with it. They don't need more events where they can play victim

No. 269291

>>269273
NTA, I wish I could fight one and win without getting in trouble for it. They always whine about how terfs are doing xyz, but fuckall happens to them, besides being misgendered.

No. 269307

I just can't put up with this bullshit anymore. It's like /pol/ has invaded this place and is doing one big psyop.

No. 269308

>>269307
Do you mean the obvious moid baiting in /ot/?

No. 269311

>>269308
It's one thing to do that, but then we're getting blamed for it too, saying we're talking to ourselves. Maybe I should just leave until pride shit is over and they lose interest.

No. 269321

The thread (you know what I'm talking about) and the constant hate we get under the guise of "we (lesbians) did it to ourselves" is genuinely bringing down my experience of this place as a whole. Tired of the constant gaslighting.

No. 269332

>>269321
There are multiple threads where they're doing it in. First starting with saying lesbophobic shit, if you respond, they will then turn around and say you said the lesbophobic thing to victimize yourself to supposedly create a narrative that lolcow is lesbophobic. When you say it's a man, they start shit that you're misogynistic for saying women can't be bigots, when you didn't even say that. How can we both apparently want to create a narrative about the site, while also apparently being misogynistic for saying it's done by outsiders and not regulars? They keep posting the pic of the old man who wrote "blacks rule" as some sort of gotcha.

No. 269335

>>269273
Let them try it. I'm a former boxer, still in shape and the only exercise those men get is beating their girldick raw. Nah I'm joking, I wouldn't fight a troon. It's social suicide and I've already been arrested for fighting a homophobic moid, if it happens again I'm fucked. Besides, troons are so unwashed I wouldn't want to get that close to one. The t-shirt idea just popped into my head and made me laugh.

>>269307
>>269321
I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of leaving this place because of the lesbophobia but I'd miss you nonas in here. Finding a community that accepts me as a lesbian AND a butch is hard but you ladies in here get it. I don't have social media but I want a place to sperg about my wife and complain about the issues I face being GNC. For me, there's no alternative as there's no way in hell I'm rejoining social media.

No. 269338

>>269335
>I've already been arrested for fighting a homophobic moid
god this is why cops are fucking useless, always just protecting bigoted men
>Finding a community that accepts me as a lesbian AND a butch is hard but you ladies in here get it.
I really look up to you and I love your sperging about your wife.

No. 269346

>>269338
Well, I spent a night in a cell but the cops did let me off in the end with a warning so I can't really complain. CCTV and bar staff proved that the guy started it and he was already well known to the police for getting in fights. They didn't care about the homophobia though, they asked more questions about goddamn football as I was there to watch a match in my teams jersey and they thought it was a hooligan related punch up. One pig even had the cheek to say "well you did choose to dress macho" when I had on a fucking football shirt and jeans with a leather jacket. You'd think I turned up dressed like the biker from The Village People with a dumb comment like that. Thank you though, you're far too kind. Don't look up to someone with anger issues, lol. As satisfying as it is to put moids in their place, it's not worth it in the long run.

To end my post on a positive note and sperg about my wife: we've got time off from work coming up and she thinks that we're gonna spend it at home chilling but I've actually booked us a holiday in Italy because I know how much she wants to go there. I can't wait to surprise her! I've been so self-involved lately with my work projects and when I was seriously ill she was my rock. I'm gonna spoil her rotten and also cop some awesome Italian menswear for myself.

No. 269350

>>269335
Never stop sperging, I love lesbian sperging.

Also I went to the pride thread hoping to laugh at some "queers" but it's a whole lot of homophobia in there, no thanks. Better for our mental health to avoid threads that invite that sort of content.

No. 269354

>>269346
>"well you did choose to dress macho"
The butch version of being told/asked "what were you wearing?" I swear it's common.
>Don't look up to someone with anger issues, lol. As satisfying as it is to put moids in their place, it's not worth it in the long run.
I mean more that I look up to you because I've seen you impart wisdom regularly. You've been through a lot and seem to be in a good place now in many ways. Just really admirable. I'm already an aggressive fucker myself kek, but I luckily haven't gotten in trouble for it and managed to stay out of situations like that for years now.
>To end my post on a positive note
You two sound like a fairy tale couple, legit made for each other! Have a great trip!

No. 269360

>>268842
>finds it funny when you have stereotypically feminine traits or hobbies
>derides you or is disappointed in you when you cry or show emotional vulnerability and intimacy
God if this isn't painful. I'm a butch attracted to femmes like a dumbass but the fact is that so many of them willing to date butches are just bihets treating us as diet male and expect us to be stoic daddymommies for them. I get that it might be "cute" that a masculine person likes something feminine but the joke gets old real fast, especially when it seems to be done as a way of genuinely attempting to assert control over you by humiliation.

>>269335
>>269346
I know wasting your time on a scrote isn't worth the jail time but you sound so cool, nonnie. Your wife is a lucky woman. I'm too much of a wet noodle for physical fights but my girlfriend, a very petite femme, is the meanest bitch you could meet and she's made men fuck right off just by flipping on her foul mouth switch on kek

No. 269362

>>269360
>get that it might be "cute" that a masculine person likes something feminine but the joke gets old real fast, especially when it seems to be done as a way of genuinely attempting to assert control over you by humiliation.
NTA but I noticed that some femmes are just always looking for evidence that you're totally a femme too, over the tiniest shit, like cooking. That you just need a make-over and you'll suddenly be a perfectly feminine hottie who they can share clothes with and do the make up of.

No. 269364

>>269346
You sound like a very cool person lol, much love to you and your wife from me and mine.

>>269360
That shit you said about the joking resonates so hard. I get made fun of anytime I reveal a 'feminine' interest or do a high pitched laugh because I'm supposed to exist as some kind of stoic rock caricature of a man at all times I guess? We had a friend over recently and she made fun of my wife for lying w/ her feet kicked up (like the slumber party pose). Like it was just light spirited joking between friends but it still annoyed me. Who cares it's comfy. Would manspreading on the couch be less funny? idk.

No. 269386

>>269321
I actually don't know which thread you're talking about. Do you mean the /ot/ pride thread or the FTM thread? Both have a lot of homophobic posters

No. 269479

>>269354
>The butch version of being told/asked "what were you wearing?" I swear it's common.
Ugh, you're right, it is the butch version of that. It's far too common and I'm sick of people expecting me to doll myself up. I've got a muscular fridge body, I'd look like an MTF. Maybe I'm the real Kikomi, kek. Thank you though, you're so sweet. ♥

>>269360
>the joke gets old real fast
I know the feeling. I understand something like my fear of spiders is funny because even though I'm someone who prides myself on fitness and physical strength I will jump on the sofa at lightning speed if I see a spider across the room. I don't even like killing them, I don't wanna be near the fuckers. And yeah, it is funny. I admit that myself. But I've literally been shamed by a bihet for offering to sew up a rip in her jacket before. "I thought you were a rough and tough bad boy" bitch I'm a three dimensional woman who has useful life skills like sewing that everyone should know regardless of sex. Fucking ridiculous. People are often shocked by what a clean freak I am and how much I love cooking too. I guess I should apologise to tradthots for appropriating their culture, kek.
>my girlfriend, a very petite femme, is the meanest bitch you could meet and she's made men fuck right off just by flipping on her foul mouth switch on kek
As a tall butch I acknowledge that small femmes are the real fighters of the lesbian community. You NEVER piss off a short femme without at least getting your ear chewed off for it. If we went to war it'd be them on front line, not us butches kek.

>>269364
Much love to you and your wife too! I wish I knew more lesbian couples IRL. My wife and I try socialising on bumble and the like with other couples but they usually end up being kweerios, swingers or some poor straight woman and her AGP husband. Hell world.

No. 269497

File: 1654869770764.jpg (424.56 KB, 1045x1306, 654323456.jpg)

Has anyone watched this yet and if so does it have any surprise troons? It looks like a lesbian Buffy fanfic and I'm cautiously excited.

No. 269500

>>269497
nonny this just came out today according to that byline, i'm not sure how many watchers it will have. i will do us all the job of watching and reporting back

No. 269502

>>269497
Thank you nonnie for posting this, I watched the trailer and am excited, yes it looks corny and very YA, but if it is with actual lesbians and isn’t some queer-inclusive alphabet soup abortion, I am sooo watching this
is it just me or the black family being monster hunters looks like a nod to Blade? or am I tinfoiling?

No. 269506

>>269497
The way my heart sank when I saw the Netflix logo, kek. I would love to watch a corny lesbian vampire show but with it being on Netflix I'm fully expecting alphabet soup shenanigans. I won't hold my breath.

No. 269507

File: 1654872203374.png (822.33 KB, 765x869, 765434567.png)

>>269502
>is it just me or the black family being monster hunters looks like a nod to Blade? or am I tinfoiling?
my headcanon is that Kendra from Buffy survived and started her own family line of monster hunters

No. 269510

>>269479
>I've got a muscular fridge body, I'd look like an MTF. Maybe I'm the real Kikomi, kek.
Same, I've joked before when AGPs try to "crack my egg" that I'm an afab transbian boymoder kek.
>But I've literally been shamed by a bihet for offering to sew up a rip in her jacket before. "I thought you were a rough and tough bad boy"
Just a couple generations ago men were expected to know that stuff too. Farmers would even knit. In some ways we've regressed with gender shit.
>People are often shocked by what a clean freak I am and how much I love cooking too. I guess I should apologise to tradthots for appropriating their culture, kek.
Nobody dares to laugh at Gordon Ramsey for loving cooking and wanting things to be clean. An older butch once told me we're not supposed to cook, which I didn't expect to hear. While it's an essential gender neutral skill, imo you can make cooking masc too, it just depends on who does it really.

No. 269514

meeting my long distance gf in person for the first time in 32 days!! it feels wild

No. 269517

>>269479
>You NEVER piss off a short femme without at least getting your ear chewed off for it.
I love my gf for that, I'm somewhat socially awkward and every time some moid tries to hassle us she's spitting fire before I even realize what's happening. It's amazing how she makes people back off immediately and would probably beat you the fuck up with her purse like a cartoon character if given the chance but she's super sweet and caring otherwise. Saucy femmes are my weak spot.

>>269497
Ehhhh I think I'm way too old for this, it looks like something teenage theater kids would watch and be all "omg she's totally me i'm a lesbian vampire too!". I'm glad lesbian relationships are being represented but I'm still waiting for one that has a GNC character and one that doesn't have a porny poster like this.

No. 269607

>>269510
Kikomi club! We are AFAB boymoding sisterbrothers, kek.
>Just a couple generations ago men were expected to know that stuff too. Farmers would even knit. In some ways we've regressed with gender shit.
I fucking hate the gendering of life skills like cooking, cleaning, sewing, knitting, etc. It's incredibly retarded and tiring to hear about. I've actually met an older butch who said that about cooking too, she also looked at me with complete disgust upon hearing about my hook-up with a mutual butch friend of ours and called me a "filthy faggot" for it. They're rare, but these dinosaurs do still walk among us. You can usually spot these women as they only date femmes and are very insistent that butches should only date femmes and vice versa. This might be a controversial opinion but these women are FTM's in all but name. They have the same archaic views on gender roles and will react negatively if you go against them. Yeah, they don't mutilate themselves, thank god, but they can still spread their harmful views to young and impressionable baby dykes. It's sad because I have some great friends who are older butches but it does make me more hesitant to talk to other ones now.

>>269517
My first gf was a short femme and I have many happy memories of her going psycho on homophobes back when I didn't have the confidence to speak up and defend myself. One time in a club bathroom I got called a tranny and my 5'0 skinny gf had a much taller, older and heavier woman up against the wall just by yelling at her. She had ovaries of steel.

No. 269688

>>269514
Good luck nonnie! I guess it’s 31 days now? How did you two meet? I bet you have a bunch of fun stuff planned together

No. 270060

I broke up with my girlfriend nonnies. We were together for two years and I feel like she's the one but she started getting depressed and exhausted all the time smoking weed it culminated into this last month where she just sort of ignored me and was too annoyed/exhausted to talk to me. She didn't want to get help and she kept saying taking mushrooms would make things better since she normally did them every once in awhile but she didn't do that either. I hope this is the like final straw she needs to better herself but I don't think it is shes says she's too old to learn new tricks. It's just too bad I love her so much and I wanted to grow old together. I feel like I made the wrong decision but I also relieved her emotions aren't my responsibility because they're not. I can't help her help herself. It just sucks so much.

No. 270115

>>270060
You did the right thing, nona. I've been on the other side of this: depressed, not communicating, and using drugs. It's a very self-indulgent hole of misery and people in those holes are awful partners. No one should have to prop anyone up like that. What's worse is that weed is far more addictive than what most people realise yet the people using it almost always refuse to listen to reason. Most importantly she doesn't want help. Even if she forced herself into therapy or NA or w/e for you it most likely wouldn't work. I know this because I put myself through rehab for an ex when I didn't truly want the help and I ended up relapsing not long after I got out. If you're feeling relieved despite all the hurt, then I would take that as a sign that you did the right thing. I'm sure your ex will understand. I'm sorry things didn't work out for you, anon, and I hope you can heal from this. Take care of yourself.

No. 270211

>>270115
Thank you for your reply it helped me come to terms a bit. I agree! I was so shocked when I found out the damage it does to lungs. I always thought it was a healing like drug because all you ever hear are the benefits. That was nice of you for going and trying for her sake though. Thanks anon you're really kind I hope you're taking care of yourself too.

No. 270218

File: 1655173815106.jpeg (263.02 KB, 827x1428, B7DE0B0D-8610-4F66-B0C0-F99B4D…)

Comments on a thread about needing more butch lesbian visibility in media. This is so fucking depressing.

No. 270224

>>270218
Jesus Christ these people are demented, gender really is like some fucked up religion to them.

No. 270225

What are your favorite pet names for you and your gf? Besides your nicknames.

I like when she call me doll or princess out of the blue in a mocking tone when we get into an argument, it's snarky but sweet. Otherwise bub and sweetheart on the regular and sugartits when she's feeling saucy.

I call her babe, my girl, various Russian nicknames bc i speak it and when things get frisky i call her sugar. I must shamefully admit i let a Mommy slip in there a couple times in the heat of the moment

No. 270227

/cgl/ here to tell you do not date a lolita, worst mistake of my life they are frilly monstrosities

No. 270228

>>270227
I'm interested in hearing more if you're comfortable elaborating?

No. 270244

>>270218
Why is this kind of self-mutilation encouraged in some lesbian communities? Even on radblr I see women simping over women who go on T and/or chop off their breasts, some say "it's ok as long as they acknowledge they're still women uwu" and many even go after full on aidens.

No. 270245

>>270218
Fucking ghouls, leave us alone! Butches going on T to hide out as men should be a sad relic of the past, like fucking martyrs or some shit. Like oh isn't that awful, thank god we can be ourselves now.
>>270244
I don't know and it weirds me out, I understand liking masc women but as soon as they start bringing identity into it, idk, I just can't deal with it. I just wouldn't want to be with someone who hates themselves like that. It's different for detransitioned women, I don't know why. Being in the active throes of troonism is just a turnoff I guess.

No. 270247

>>270244
It's different from what is going on at radblr, but the reason why butches are encouraged to transition in the lesbian community, is to get us out of the lesbian community. It's like an ultimatum, either femme it up and become like the rest or transition and fuck off, because we're seen as the only ones standing in between lesbian acceptance. Similarly to how feminine gay men are viewed by masc gay men. It's a whole lot of "I didn't become gay to date someone who looks like the opposite gender, I might as well date women/men then". This happened when polilez suggested that butches are "male-identified" and "gender traitors" for just being themselves. You have to understand that "male-identified" doesn't refer to identifying as a man back then, it meant looking masculine and having masculine hobbies. Polilez had their own uniform, which some mistake as butch, but it's more something from their hippie background if anything and is distinctly middle class instead of working class. They said that butches are chauvinists who oppress femmes, they put in effort to shut down lesbian bars, because they were projecting their past relationships with men onto lesbian relationships and decided that butches are "the man".
Polilez also started cultural feminism. While most other radfems were against saying that women are naturally feminine, naturally have feminine hobbies and feminine behavior, you know acknowledging socialization. Polilez decided that it's nature and that it's good. Which means that a masculine woman is automatically bad and trying to be something against her nature, i.e. "male-identified" even though she could literally say she's a woman. They said that butches were doing roleplaying, even though that wasn't the case anymore since the 40's and 50's, if anything it was often pushed onto butches. Then when polilez were done wrecking the lesbian community, they went back to men, had daughters who then started 3rd wave (liberal) feminism. They mixed the femininity = good masculinity = bad, sexuality = choice, woman-identified-woman "male-identified" together into the monstrosity we know today. Where hyperperforming femininity and "bimbo" is seen as an empowered choice to make, but being gnc is icky and you better transition before you taint us with that or become feminine like the rest.
The effects of this can be seen in magazine ads from the 80's and 90's even, where it's obvious regular lesbians started talking about butches like we're dangerous chauvinists who need to be avoided. Getting butches to transition is a strategy to get us out of the community. They want to get rid of the "mythic mannish lesbian", they see it as an image problem.

No. 270251

>>270244
Sage for blogpost but my ex was like this. She actually told me multiple times that it’d be hot if I got top surgery or went on T. She was a radfem but became a trans activist / pronoun respecter by the end of our relationship. I didn't think aiden chasers existed but be warned theyre out there. And I’m not even detrans or anything, just butch.

No. 270254

>>270218
I figuratively want to kys myself after reading this. I've already felt like being seen as a freak all my life for being a GNC woman who didn't troon out and every time I manage to convince myself that it's all in my head I see takes like this.
>yeah cis butches are ok I guess but god the ones who get life-altering surgeries removing healthy tissue and poison their bodies with testosterone shortening their lifespan by decades are so hot!!!
Just admit you want a man.

>>270247
A very good writeup, thanks anon. I was actually pretty surprised to learn how much effeminate men are hated in the gay community and how much their situation parallel ours - GNC members are shunned, they often get in toxic relationships with abusive bihets because that's all they can get and end up trooning out as a last-ditch effort. It really does show how the GNC hate is universal.

>>270251
Holy shit anon, glad you got out. The opposite happened to me, I really wanted to transition because I bit the "transition or start being a femme, you're making us look bad" bait bad but my girlfriend talked me out of it. I'm forever thankful to her for that.

>>270225
We have nicknames based on our actual names that are the kind of "only we know what they are" thing, like you wouldn't recognize what the pet names are supposed to mean without knowing the origin.

No. 270257

>>270251
Not surprising sadly, I've seen a fair share of so-called radfems talking about how medical transition procedures are not inherently harmful and only trans identification is, and how any criticism must stem from hatred of GNC people ("what's wrong with being a hairy flat chested woman??") completely glossing over all the actual health risks of taking cross-sex hormones.

No. 270261

>>270257
The dose makes the poison tbh. They aren't inherently cross-sex hormones, women produce testosterone already and it's a possible hrt option (in combination with other stuff) for (post)menopausal women. The issues occur once you get out of range of what is normal for women. The birth control pill almost gives more issues, but it's not seen as concerning, because those are considered "female hormones", even though messing with hormones always brings risks with it. Just one set of risks is more socially acceptable.

No. 270267

>>270257
>what's wrong with being a hairy flat chested woman??

It sucks because this is also an issue I've seen in online radfem spaces. Like being so desperate to pwn the troons that they make cruel blanket statements about women with hirsutism (or broad shoulders, or muscles, or above-average height, etc). I wish we could have a happy medium where it's just normalized for women who naturally have those features without fetishising them and pushing butches to start HRT. It's like no matter where you go as a female you can't get away from unrealistic body standards.

No. 270270

>>270267
I once posted Rain Dove somewhere rad and they were convinced she's a TiM. Bit ironic after insisting everyone "can always tell", evidently they can't and if anything the transvestigation bullshit gives everyone brainworms. Instead of focusing on whether they can pass or not, should just stick to the basics. Adult human female = woman, right? So no need for weird lists of hobbies, looks, behaviors/manners about what "real women" have or do, which inevitably throw gnc women under the bus and gives TRA's ammo.

No. 270291

>>270225
My wife jokes that handsome is my MK Ultra trigger word because I'll do anything if she butters me up by calling me handsome first. She's not wrong, kek. Other than that it's usually king, baby/baby girl or my initial. For her I mainly use gorgeous, babe or queen.

>>270251
My bihet ex used to tell me similar things too; sometimes during sex which had the effect throwing ice down my boxers. Aiden chasers definitely exist because I've been a magnet for them in the past. Some times even in allegedly radfem spaces. Back in the day I was in radfem discords with women I met on radblr and I would get inappropriate comments like "hot" or straight up flirting after venting about my PCOS making me hairy and how being tall, muscular and butch on top of that makes life difficult and pushes me closer to trooning out. And I get it, I'm hopelessly attracted to butches too, but when a woman is talking about the societal impact of being a big hairy butch and how upsetting it can be, maybe don't start hitting on her and treating it like a fetish.

>>270270
I'm getting war flashbacks to those lists now and how I could play bingo on them, kek.

No. 270334

Can anyone answer this for me because I find it absolutely baffling: why are so many wlw absolutely obsessed with Taylor Swift to the point of centering their entire dating profile around her? What am I missing?

No. 270336

>>270334
There's a conspiracy theory that she's actually gay, kek. I have known a few Gaylor "truthers" who were obsessed with her because of that. Other than that I have no fucking clue, I guess she's just an inoffensive pop musician that appeals to a lot of young women?

No. 270377

>>270261
I know, I know what you mean, my own wording was wonky, I meant more like intentionally getting your testosterone to an excessive level for a woman. Of course messing with hormones is always risky, I'm also quite skeptical of hormones as birth control, but I guess I also think of it less often for obvious reasons. I know you can take birth control for hormone regulation in itself, but I'm pretty sure most women do take it primarily for contraceptive reasons.

No. 270378

>>270336
Never understood this, I do like her music but Taylor is obviously as straight as a line, not even a Kinsey 1 but straight up absolute 0. She makes fun pop music, most of it about love and heartbreak, teenage girls eat that shit up regardless of orientation. Finding Taylor's lyrics relatable as a young woman is normal because she intentionally writes them to be, just because the meaning doesn't really change if you change "he" and "boy" to "she" and "girl" doesn't mean Taylor is a closet case who really meant those songs about women she's secretly dating, but that overall they're meant to describe very common experiences.

No. 270408

>>270247
Sometimes it feels like some people attracted to gender and not sex. I don't subscribe to the split attraction model (romantic love and sex are not separate) but I'm really starting to think some people's attraction is solely based on performed gender and irrespective of sex. Maybe the solely sex based axis just doesn't work to describe what's happening and that's where we're going wrong.

No. 270459

>>270408
Can you elaborate and give examples of what you mean? If you're referring to the twitter queers glorifying 'transmasc' butches, I think it might be a genuine attraction to butch females + more incessant troon pandering. A lot of the t4t types in those spaces are just deep state lesbians.

No. 270547

I was gonna post this in the vent thread in /ot/ but if a single fucking farmer tells me to "just dress fem then" I will cop a ban for a-logging.

In all seriousness now, what is stopping me from trooning out? My wife and my sisters. But if I'm thinking purely about myself… I don't know if I could keep this up much longer without them. I'm so sick of getting treated like a freak. I'm sick of my PCOS. I'm sick of being tall, being naturally muscular, naturally hairy. I hate having to shave my face. Shave my legs. My armpits. My stomach, and even my fucking chest. I already get gendered as male about half the time anyway and that's without even trying, feasibly I could pull this off. But then I'd be a traitor. I'd be betraying every dysphoric masc woman I've ever vented with. I'd be going back on everything I've ever told my sisters about being true to yourself. I'd probably end up divorced too tbh. That's not even touching the part where I'm putting myself at risk of cancer from HRT when I'm already in remission from cancer. All signs point to not trooning out but I'm just fucking… done. I hate this shit. I want to move onto masc womens land. No femmes and no fats. 24/7 chilling with women who get it. A butch can dream.

No. 270557

>>270547
I think you are idolizing transition a bit too much and not seeing the actual downsides that will come with the medical transition. The effects of taking T in long term will be way worse than being hairy and will absolutely ruin your body + you have pcos which I assume will only make symptoms worse. So you sacrifice your body, health, social circle and wife to gain what? Have you seen an actually happy trooner? The only way they exist is by coping 24/7 by being terminally online alongside other degen transes and living in a fantasy land. I know Ellen Page is a tiny woman with a skelly body you many not associate yourself with, but just look at her now. Nonnie, I do not believe one can become happier by transitioning; you may be miserable now, but going trans will just make it worse tbh. I know I may get dogpiled for saying this on here lol (and also idk how wise this advice is), but if you are so dysphoric maybe just become a pronounhaver without actually transitioning?

No. 270570

>>270557
Oh I'm definitely seeing trooning out from a "grass is greener on the other side" perspective. Even with all I know about the reality of being trans from friends that have went on T, I still occasionally think "but it might be different for me!". I wouldn't say idolising as I can't stand most FTMs and I hate MTFs with a passion. Honestly? I probably won't do it. I have these bouts of dysphoria every few months and after a few bad encounters with homophobes on the street today I just needed to scream about it somewhere. There is no way I could look my sisters in the face and tell them I'm trooning out. Especially my 6 y/o sister who is a tomboy just like me, what kind of message would that send? That alone would make me want to 41%. You're definitely right about happiness too. They only achieve it by living in an echo chamber 24/7 but then you look at their pics and they're still dead behind the eyes. No sparkle of life, nothing. I hope you don't get dogpiled for recommending pronouns. I'm feeling very down about living as a butch woman and you recommended something that didn't involve going full troon cultist and most importantly didn't involve medical transition. I can't imagine going he/him tbh but I'm very thankful you replied. Just hearing someone calmly say "no, that's bad for you" helps because if I went to a doctor or a therapist or mainstream social media with these concerns I'd be fed lies about the wonders of trooning out. Keeping myself grounded in reality is the key to getting through this, I've found in the past. I just need to calm myself down and remind myself of what I want in life and the kind of example I want to set for my sisters. Thank you for the reply, nonnie. I hope you have a good day.

No. 270576

>>270547
Yeah, it’s uncomfy feeling like you’re not a guy but women still might see you as an outsider. I’m probably not as masculine as you, just recently i dressed in a way that’s comfortable for me and a teacher didn’t know which pronouns to give me. I called myself a boy and looked like one as a kid. It means nothing. You have to detach your sense of self from how other people are you, know yourself, know how to be alone, and that this mortal body is temporary, so focusing on how you’re perceived instead of the experiences you can have from this life is a mistake. Some people may call you a guy. It’s no biggie. And honestly, I don’t think gender is a feeling, but if you don’t care what people call you you don’t have to correct them. Live how you want. It’s just important that you accept yourself and don’t mutilate your body, because that’s the opposite of self love. Find women like you, I think i had a couple good role models of masculine women, so friends like that for you would help. Maybe you’ll be that role model for your sister.
Also I’m really proud of you. It’s hard to be different, it can be lonely and confusing. Being the version of yourself instead of the version people are trying to mould you into, whether that’s a good, feminine woman or a mutilated self hating ftm is brave. Loving yourself despite that pressure is really punk. I hope you stick to being yourself and keep telling your story for the sake of every other lonely butch woman, so that they know they’re not alone, for your wife and your sister too. Hopefully there’s more research into gender dysphoria as a mental affliction rather than a diagnosis needing physical treatment.

No. 270604

This video of Jodie Foster being asked if she had a steady boyfriend is so relatable. I used to say the same thing about "not having enough time" and "being too focused on school" during high school when people asked if i ever had a boyfriend. That was before I realized kek.

No. 270605

>>270604
I like to answer with 'What do i need one for?' It usually stumps people and they stop asking

No. 270611

>>270576
You're right, anon. This body is just a vessel. I remember an older butch once telling me to treat my body like I treated my motorbike: Keep it running, don't let it fall into disrepair. Treat it kindly, or else you'll suffer. Make it as pretty as you want but some people might disagree with your preferred style, but who cares? It's your bike. It's still the insides that count most anyway, and ultimately it's just a tool to get you from point A to point B; and it's the fun that you have on the journey that matters. Not the vehicle you rode on that journey. Another part of her metaphor was "let all the pretty girls you like it ride it to hell and back, but keep it clean and let a mechanic check it over regularly" kek. Sadly we lost this amazing woman to covid in early 2020 and I miss her like crazy. Especially on days like today. She actually lived partially as a man in the late 70's to be able to work in a factory and she was full of so much wisdom about lesbianism and your innate identity that I wish I wrote it all down. I actually have a good friend group of masc women and butches but due to my illness and then work stuff I've not seen them in a long while (maybe that's why I'm wound a little tightly about this stuff). I'm hoping to get the crew together for a camping trip later this year though, fingers crossed.
>Maybe you’ll be that role model for your sister.
God, I hope so. I love my three sisters and fret about all of them but with the middle one being a tomboy I'm so scared for her future with all this tranny shit infecting schools. I gotta stay strong for her and show the other two that women can be buff, tall, hairy and masc dressing and still be women and have feminine qualities. To not to judge a book by it's cover and all that stuff. If I trooned out I'd be a hypocrite to them. I don't know about loving myself but on a good day I do quite like myself. Maybe I'll get there one day. With regards to dysphoria being looked into properly I unfortunately don't think that'll happen 'til the tranny astroturfing slows down considerably. I hate to say it but I think it will take more deaths from puberty blockers and cross sex hormones for shrinks and the like to realise that they've fucked up. I do believe that we all have an innate preference for how we express ourselves; like for example as young as two I would kick up a stink and cry if my mother put me in dresses or something pink, at two years old I don't think I even had a grasp on gender roles yet so there must be something ingrained in me that makes me like that. I just don't believe in it the same way trannies do. It's like trying to run tests on why I like oranges so much - it's just a preference, we all have them and they're all slightly different. The problems start when society treats you differently for your preferences. The root cause for dysphoria in females is often rooted in misogyny (both internal and external) and sometimes homophobia, IMO. But it's not very profitable for big pharma to admit that so here we are. Sorry for the rambling reply but thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I really needed to get that outta me today. Take care nonna, have a nice day/night/whatever and a lovely weekend. ♥

No. 270628

>>270611
Ntayrt but read all your posts - I'm glad you've found some encouragement here, I hope you're genuinely feeling better. I am butch, my wife is butch, and whenever I see fellow masculine women talking about this stuff it makes me want to send up a giant banner that just says "I LOVE YOU" because I really do, I want us all to be able to have community with each other and normalize our experiences and make each other feel like we belong. This new wave of gender politics is dividing and conquering us more than ever. It's natural to look at their propaganda and think wow, it could just be that easy. But we know in our hearts it's not. Self acceptance is the only path to true freedom. Much love and support to you nonna, I hope things get easier for you.

No. 270666

File: 1655460401525.jpg (157.96 KB, 567x817, lesbian_aesthetic.jpg)

>>270611
> I do believe that we all have an innate preference for how we express ourselves; like for example as young as two I would kick up a stink and cry if my mother put me in dresses or something pink, at two years old I don't think I even had a grasp on gender roles yet so there must be something ingrained in me that makes me like that.
I have a theory about butch socialization, but nonnas get upset at me when I talk about it. They think it's just autism, but I think it's related to the sexuality you're born with in combination with some environmental factors, which makes the difference between whether someone grows up butch or femme. There's evidence that gnc is partially genetic, but it's usually linked to homosexuality, so it's difficult to know if it's really separate. Babies and toddlers aren't that stupid, according to Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine, socialization really starts from day 1. Kids that young do look at the relationships around them, gender relations subconsciously, there might be an inherent disgust towards things they've noticed that would usually make a girl or woman attractive to males. I've noticed that with bi women there is also a tiny subset which also leans to the masc side from a young age, but usually not as much as a butch lesbian. I know it's controversial though, because you get the whole "lesbian doesn't have a look!" thing and I don't have a ready explanation for why femmes end up the way they do. Though there are probably environmental and genetic factors for them too, it's interesting that the more progressive things get, the more common femmes are.

No. 270706

>>270666
How accurate these findings even are though if all of research on homosexuals is built on self-reported individuals and believing they are not misidentifying and also consider that this being released in 2021, you don’t even know if all of the people in the sample size were even women lmao (and mtfs do lean or at least consider themselves as fem). These studies just seem pointless to me tbh since you can’t get a sample of actual lesbians to then work with

No. 270721

>>270628
Oh, nona. You're so sweet. It's butches like you that help keep me sane. You're right about us being divided and conquered, now more than ever masc women gotta stick together. My wife sensed something was off with me last night and she suggested that we go back to basics and forget about identity and just focus on the sun on our skin. So we went to the beach today and man, she was right. It's so easy to get wrapped up in identity politics when people politicise your body against your own will. Taking it back to "sun on skin feel good" really helps in a strange way. I hope you and your wife have a wonderful weekend. I know life as a butch can be rough enough but when you're with another GNC/butch woman you can catch even more flak. It's like being double gay, kek. Take care, nona. Thank you so much for your wonderful reply. ♥

>>270666
I think what you said makes a lot of sense. My best friend growing up was a gay guy and we were two sides of the same coin: From a young age we both rebelled against gender roles and were othered immediately when we went to our respective playschools. Like everyone around us knew we were flaming homos except us. Honestly I am not a smart woman, so I can't explain anything but there must be something genetic. There absolutely are lesbians looks and mannerisms, just as there are gay looks and mannerisms. Stereotypes about lesbians and gays didn't just appear out of thin air. Of course the crueller ones were mostly the work of straight people, but there's no smoke without fire, if that makes sense. I understand peoples reluctance to look into homosexual genetics with regards to eugenics, but I think a lot of people overlook how for people like me, it would be a huge comfort to know once and for all that I truly was born this way.

No. 270724

>>270721
Samefagging to say when I say "no smoke without fire" I don't mean the homophobic stereotypes, I meant the ones about general gay and lesbian behaviour and appearance. I'm tired and I think I worded that sentence poorly.

No. 270782

>>270547
>>270576
>>270611
Reading through these replies has me trying not to sob uncontrollably at work right now. I wish I had other butches to talk to irl and have community with. Being a gnc lesbian these days is so fucking isolating and rough, but little things like this brings me some hope.

No. 270791

>>270721
I know what you mean about being double gay! Sounds fun, I love to swim and I also find nature very grounding. I'm glad we both have someone in our life that provides that anchor.
>>270782
I see you anon! I'm glad you're in this thread with us even if we don't know each other irl. Even small connections are worth something.

No. 270991

File: 1655633408216.jpg (187.9 KB, 640x447, naomi.jpg)

I just looked at the photos from the local pride and everyone there had a greasy hair with men wearing anime loli shirts. Half literally looked like kids lost on their way to comicon. Why do queers insist on looking as ugly as possible?

No. 271060

>>270666
>it's interesting that the more progressive things get, the more common femmes are
True, but the more progressive things get the more common GNC straight women are too, which does solidify the idea that lesbianism does not have an inherent look or attitude.
>socialization really starts from day 1
>Kids that young do look at the relationships around them, gender relations subconsciously, there might be an inherent disgust towards things they've noticed that would usually make a girl or woman attractive to males
Pretty much. The less femininity and female heterosexuality are associated with one another and the less pressure there is on women to be attractive to males from day one the more lesbian femmes you will find (because femininity is less strongly tied to attracting men so there is less of an impulse to reject it in order not to attract men) and the more GNC straight women (because attracting men is less strongly tied to femininity so there is less of an impulse to embrace it in order to attract men).

No. 271090

>>271060
>because attracting men is less strongly tied to femininity so there is less of an impulse to embrace it in order to attract men
I was the butch posting about being dysphoric and I think you're right. Bit of a blogpost but my mother was a model, appeared in a few fashion magazines like Vogue, travelled all over Europe and went to America and mingled with C and D list celebrities in the 80's which in our tiny, shithole hometown in Israel is a huge fucking deal. Now, I am practically her double, albeit a lot taller. So the assumption from her and other family members was "oh, you'll be a model like your mother!" and I hated it. I knew I never wanted to pursue modelling and that I never would despite the pressure from my family. Another thing about her is… well… she was the town bike. Yes, I'm being mean but she emotionally abused me so fuck her. Anyway I saw from a young age that being a good looking feminine woman attracted men like moths to a flame. I always wonder if that fucked me up a bit as many of her boyfriends were shitty to me and some straight up hit me. Yes, I was GNC since a young child but as an adult I'm a bodybuilder with Irezumi tattoos covering a lot of my body and I dress extremely masc. A far cry from my mother in her prime. Don't get me wrong I like the way I look. It took me a while but I'm actually pretty happy with my appearance, despite the dysphoria around being perceived as this freakish third sex. But I do wonder if I would be different had I not had such an intensely feminine and heterosexual role model. Is this all an intense cope for my rebellion against my preordained "destiny" as a so-called model? This shit makes my head spin. Maybe I should become a nudist so I don't have to think this deeply about goddamn clothing kek.

No. 271093

>>271090
Yeah, when everything overall is less aggressively gendered there not much of a point for labels like "butch" or "femme". Being muscular and tattooed would not necessarily make you "masculine" but just your own personal style. Of course unfortunately there is a lot of pressure on GNC lesbians to either become more stereotypically "feminine" or just give up womanhood altogether. The real solution is to just stop gendering appearance, personality, behaviour and sexual orientation in itself so "GNC" people are not even seen as "non-conforming" in the first place, just regular people with a different orientation or interests or style, things that don't necessarily have anything to do with one another.

No. 271112

>>270991
It's a zoomer thing. I have no idea why they want to be as ugly as possible.

No. 271113

>>270991
Cope since they were all groomed online as kids/teens

No. 271134

>>271112
from my own zoomer point of view, I think it's an answer to growing up as an extremely sexualized generation with easy access to porn. That shit makes you want to look as unatractive as possible to men imo

No. 271212

>>247377
Broke my 3 year dry spell last night nonas. I could cry from happiness

No. 271221

File: 1655751717690.jpg (219.42 KB, 887x900, ugh.jpg)

>>271212
Sex advice time please

Love my gf but our sex life is not where I want it to be. She's always had an easy time with me because I'm good at being present and don't masturbate so I'm quite horny when I'm around her. Aka I climax easily before she tires out. I've started to give her more and more specific feedback during sex as we've begun to have sex more often and my sex drive isn't quite as sharp as it was when we fucked once a week. Anyway point is, I communicate about what I like, encourage her, I guide her hand if she's kinda off, adjust my hips to get the right angle, the works. I cum every time we fuck and it's not just her prowess, though she is good with her hands and mouth, but also my active efforts to engage my kegels and participate.

She on the other hand is the opposite of me. She's always had issues with orgasming with a partner and it takes her a long time to do so, if at all. Previous partners basically didn't really try to work on it with her, they just let her get them off instead and called it a day supposedly. While she's so active when servicing me, she tends to just lie there when I'm working on her. She often doesn't rock her hips much and she requires a lot of pressure in a super specific way on her clit due to her daily-ish use of vibrators. I can't really replicate the intensity of that stuff with my hands or mouth, it's just a super strong motor afterall. She also doesn't communicate and barely guides me in general, it's so hard to tell what's working and what's not. When I use the vibrator on her she still wants it wielded (kek) super specifically and it's hard to do it when I can't actually feel her on my fingertips. Plus even when I do get it right it's taking a long time, my hands begin to cramp because the dumb gadget needs to be used super fast despite how hard it vibrates. It's just a bummer in general.

She is very attracted to me fluids prove it if the way she looks at and touches me didn't and when she finally does focus on relaxing she has a great time. I don't need every session to be perfect, sometimes she doesn't get it right for me and I work my clit while she fingers me and it's never made me second guess things. What I want is more of a balance, I want to be able to please her. I don't think she really knows her own turn ons maybe. I've asked her about it and she's always like "I dunno". I've brought up quitting vibrators for a couple weeks and only using her hands to readjust her sensitivity but there seems to always be an excuse for going back to vibrators within days. She says she gets mentally stuck on "having to orgasm" with me and it takes her out of it but I can't really make her more present. It's actually extremely difficult to work her clit the super strict (motion-wise) and hard way while multitasking caressing her and kissing her/sucking etc which I would ordinarily do to make the experience more immersive but like. Holy shit I'm frustrated. I can't make her focus, I can't convince her to quit the fucking toys, I can't even give much feedback on how difficult it is for me because it's gonna make her feel even guiltier about her orgasm problems. Feeling stuck and alone.

I love her so much but I can't stay with her for the rest of my life like I want to, if I can't solve this thing. I don't want to look at sex like a chore but it's slowly starting to happen. I feel like she's not doing enough to address the disparity between our experiences, maybe that's super shitty of me. She does way better when she's drunk but I don't want to go down the road of intoxication just to have sex. That sounds awful.

No. 271224

>>271221
NTA but dude, your gf has to stop using a vibrator every day. Like that's not a negotiable thing, she's fucked her clit up. My wife and use vibrator like once or twice a month because we're heard these horror stories about them. I'm gonna sound like a nofap bro here but masturbating kills passion, IMO. I think you should try and explain that to her and that if she really wants a good sex life she would stop being selfish and try this for you. Yes it's harsh but she's really self-sabotaging here. As for being a dead fish in bed and not moving… this is gonna sound harsh but is she bi? I've had multiple bi women just flop down and expect me to take them like a cavewoman and do all the work. They were also the ones who had burnout from vibrators. If so that's an issue with how she views lesbian sex. If she's a lesbian you just gotta talk it through and try to get her to talk about her turn on's and stuff. I've froze up a few times in the past, mainly with new partners. I'm super eager to service them but with my body issues and general nervousness I get borderline neurotic about receiving and makes thing incredibly unsexy. Honestly you just gotta talk through this shit and get her off the vibrator, or at least ween her off it, idk. After that she should consider going masturbation free because I do believe there's huge benefits to that. Good luck, nonny.

No. 271231

>>271212
what do you mean when you say 'dry spell'?>>271224
nah i think there's reason in nofap. i try to limit my tickle time to once a week/every two weeks, i think it makes me more go-getter and creative. everything you do is using energy so it makes sense. also this anon's advice is sound, if the anon with a dead bedroom is reading.

No. 271234

>>271221
I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong but… Every time I had a really hard time reaching orgrasm with a partner it wasn't because of their technique, but because they didn't make me feel relaxed enough and also didn't really meet my emotional needs. And I needed really strong and specific stimulation to get off because I wasn't all emotionally there.
Maybe there is some emotional component, anxiety, or stress to this that you guys aren't addressing. I don't really think the vibrator is the problem, she's probably overusing it to make up for something the sex is lacking. Maybe she "doesn't know" because it's not a concrete physical thing she can tell you to do, but something more abstract

No. 271236

>>271234
OP just popping in to clarify this point so anons don't get carried away with the idea regarding emotional connection. We are extremely closely bonded and have a calming, safe effect on each other in times of anxiety or pain. It's been like that since the start so I dont think the emotional needs thing is it.

No. 271237

>>271236
Then there is probably something causing her stress or anxiety. Especially since you said she is way better when she's drunk.

No. 271246

File: 1655760327155.jpg (53 KB, 591x652, morbin time.jpg)

>>271224
>>271231
OP again, I do agree with you both. I usually don't masturbate more than a couple times a month for two reasons: improve my sex drive and leave orgasm as an option for super high stress days where I need release. My gf is a lesbian like me, describes her exes as pillow princesses. Maybe it's really simple, she just never learned to be an active recipient because her experiences were with women who lie there while receiving. She did think it was interesting that I move a bunch when we're having sex, that seemed new to her. She says she doesn't have body issues and I want to believe her but she does come across as at least a little insecure about her looks despite being gorgeous, just based on some stuff she has said. I'm not gonna be like "No you are insecure about your looks" when she has told me she isn't already, though. Even if it's true, that's something she needs to explore at her own pace.

I think I'm gonna bring up the vibrator thing again. I recall her sometimes texting me she masturbated because she got too horny thinking of me and couldn't sleep, maybe I can make more time for her and she can just use me instead of a clit obliterator.

No. 271249

>>271231
AYRT, I seldom meet other nofap women as they usually think it's incel nonsense (can't blame them tbh it does have an image problem) but I find I'm also more creatively driven, a lot less lethargic and sex with my wife (also nofap) is much more spontaneous, fun and erotic. I feel like chronic masturbation just trains your mind to think of sex as more of a release, a means to an end if that makes sense. It's literally just about controlling your energies and directing them to the right areas but men had to ruin it and talk about magic fucking semen kek.

>>271246
How long roughly does your foreplay last? In the past I've found that when I'm acting like a dead fish in bed more foreplay (optimally at least an hour) can make me move more as I become more turned on and desperate for action. When you're in a long-term relationship it's easy to just throw your clothes off and get to it but taking it back to how we were when my wife and I first hooked up has been key. Keep clothes on longer, wear underwear that makes you feel sexy, undress each other slowly, pay attention to every erogenous zone you can, compliment each other, tell her how much you want to please her, how much you want her, make out until your mouth gets numb, etc etc etc.

No. 271254

File: 1655763912494.jpg (75 KB, 640x635, e9e00ae5e3cb03e478e2d5b8ce1c0f…)

sorry for the stupid question but what does this meme means kek ?

No. 271255

>>271254
Idk but the right picture is from The Sopranos. I think it's just hinting at lesbians acting more like bros with each other when together as opposed to the sexualised way straight people think we spend our time together.

No. 271256

Sorry to barge in on but that nonnas story reminded me how much I hate pillow princesses. I made my ex cum multiple times in a row, the record being seven I think, but she never went down on me or even really liked to touch me. When I once got upset while drunk and started crying she accused me of being a rapist (for suggesting she also does something for me). After we broke up she had the nerve to say she always thinks of me during sex, and no one ever made her cum like me uwu. Fucker.

Sorry, it's been years and I'm still seething

No. 271257

>>271249
Foreplay is something like 35-50 minutes, kinda depends on the mood. We're also basically constantly touching each other when we're not even planning to fuck, just in general. I'm more guilty of random fondling than she is tbh lol. The way I view sex is very much a slow-burn, when I don't masturbate and nuke my sex drive every interaction has the potential to be erotic. As you said, it's spontaneous and I love that it can come out of nowhere as we get carried away with touching. I'm amazed that my gf still wants to have sex despite masturbating often, her libido is certainly higher than mine even though I'm the one that cums easily.

I do spend time teasing her and she goes nuts which is when I eventually fuck her but basically "too much" time elapses in her view after a while fucking and she visibly just stops being a desperate mess in my hands. She gets more rigid and I can see that she's lost it, totally lost her flow. I guess she's telling the truth about taking too long and feeling bad about it but I do think it would get a lot easier if she'd just stop desensitizing her clit every week…

No. 271258

>>271255
oh I see, that makes absolute sense, thank you nonna

No. 271305

This is my first ever post so apologies if the formatting is bad.

Did any other butches not grow up as a tomboy? I dressed, or atleast was dressed quite girly and I played with dolls etc. I wanted to be a tomboy but my older sister already was and I felt like I was already copying everything she did, besides I got lots of attention from being girly. I played lots of sports and video games though (and still do) when I got to puberty I really started to feel uncomfortable with dressing femininely but I was very homophobic and was pretty much raised making fun of butch lesbians (ironic lol) so I just forced myself to become even more feminine while also trying to force myself to like men, until it became so bad that I was suicidal and finally decided to just accept the way I was.

I'm very masculine and happy now but it would be nice to see if any other butches have a similar experience of being girly when young? Considering the stereotype is that we're all tomboys growing up.

No. 271347

File: 1655831164115.jpg (Spoiler Image,138.08 KB, 574x842, asdgsde.JPG)

>>271305
I don't identify as butch but I'm firmly GNC. I've always cared about fashion, even as a very small child. I'd refuse to wear certain outfits if I felt the pieces didn't go together and I've always loved jewelry. My mother dressed me in a gender neutral way some of the time, and I had totally feminine things as well like pretty dresses. I always skewed elaborate in my outfits, whether it be masculine or feminine presenting. Gender was not a huge deal to me as a child. After I started going to school my interest in feminine things grew as all my peers were getting attention proportionate to their feminine presentation. I wouldn't say I dressed super cute only to fit in, but the social currency was attractive to me and I also like putting outfits together regardless. Once I started to fill out in the hips and breasts I got a lot of very inappropriate male attention (not just from my peers either) and began to dress very masc, hiding my body. I tried very hard to look weird or unappealing in general, though my fashion had always been a bit out there before this masc phase too. In college I went back to presenting really feminine, again for the social currency. This time the feminine presenting was solely to fit in, to get people to like me. I never really felt comfortable with what I was wearing but I was so starved for validation that I did my best to work my hourglass figure. When I show my gf pictures of who I used to be she can't even recognize her. It's such a different vibe and in both our opinions it looks wrong on me lol. My energy didn't match my fashion back then.

Now I dress in a way that feels comfortable but attractive to me. I still wear a lot of jewelry (but not bedazzled stuff, more alt) and I meticulously curated a wardrobe that has items that go together just right. I'm told I look gay and I think there is a bit of fulfillment in that, like it affirms that I exist to love and be loved by women. I "designed" my appearance according to what looks good to me but it turns out it grabs the attention of women who think like me so win/win. I don't shave or wear makeup, I only did those things in my earlier life because I was taught it looked "gross". I actually find hair attractive on women now and prefer bare faces.

I was never "girly" in attitude though, I've always behaved in a GNC way that made men antagonize me because I wouldn't fall in line with what they want women to act like. I never got shitty reactions from women though. Maybe it helps that I mostly presented feminine and was not out as a lesbian.

Pic unrelated.

No. 271365

>>271305
I was somewhat girly when I was young. I was a really self-conscious kid and since I had been raised to be feminine and have very long hair (with my long hair being the only feature I was ever complimented on) I was too nervous about what people would say if I ever stopped looking like that, even though I hated how I looked. My clothes have always been masculine but I felt like I had to compensate by having long hair and makeup or else I'd stand out too much, and my only goal as a kid/teen was to blend in as much as possible. Immediately after I graduated high school I stopped being a coward and cut my hair off and stopped wearing makeup and it made a huge difference in my confidence, since then I've been fully GNC and much happier. I wish I had been confident enough to just style myself how I wanted when I was younger but better late than never I guess.

No. 271374

>>271254
to me it means lesbians are based

No. 271381

>>271257
AYRT, sounds like you're doing everything right then. You just gotta get that clit obliterator away from her! Godspeed, nona.

>>271374
You're goddamn right we are.

No. 271410

>>271305
Not butch but my gf is and I see her childhood pictures whenever we visit her parents house and she grew up very girly it wasn’t til she got to college (before we met) and she shaved her head and started dressing more masculine.
I think I went through a sort of opposite phase where I was a bit tomboyish as a kid and teen and ended up being a femme lesbian instead

No. 271450

Married nonnies, I have some questions about lesbian marriages.

Which one of you proposed? Did you deeply discuss marriage beforehand, or did you feel like you did not want to be married before you met your wife? Did either of you care strongly about what type of rings you got? How did both sides of the family react to you two getting married?
And finally, was it legal to get married where you were, or did you have to go somewhere else?

No. 271500

>>271450
>Which one of you proposed?
I did. As a butch I know that sounds stereotypical but it wasn't the whole down on one knee schtick. We were camping, which is one of our favourite things to do, and we were laid in the tent watching the sunset and it was the perfect laidback way to do it, IMO.

>Did you deeply discuss marriage beforehand, or did you feel like you did not want to be married before you met your wife?

I was actually engaged once before, but my fiancée died suddenly and for a few years I was really down on the whole concept. That was the worst pain I've ever suffered in my life and I didn't want to open myself up to that kind of hurt again. I didn't even want a long term relationship. But then I met my wife and the closer we got the more it slowly but surely awakened those feelings in me again. We fell pretty hard and fast and it was sort of discussed in that we regularly talked about wanting to spend our lives together and we "joked" about wanting kids and what we would call our kids and all that kinda stuff. My wife said that due to my prior engagement she didn't want to talk marriage with me in case it brought back that trauma for me. I kinda sensed that she would feel that way as I would too if the situations were reversed so that's how I knew I had to be the one to propose.

>Did either of you care strongly about what type of rings you got?

I knew my wife loved floral designs for jewellery from snooping on her pinterest and that she also liked her jewellery pretty lowkey so I got a custom made ring to look a flower with a diamond at the centre. Nothing too flashy but enough to show that I care. As for wedding rings we really weren't that bothered. It took us ages to decide between gold and silver but it wasn't through disagreeing with each other, just being like "I don't care, I just want the marriage, a ring is a ring" etc.

>How did both sides of the family react to you two getting married?

What little family I'm in contact with were fine as I've already cut the homophobes out. My stepmother and sisters in particular were thrilled. My wife's father was really happy about it as he and I get along great (I also asked for his permission prior to the engagement as I had major feelings of not being worthy of my wife's love), her stepmother not so happy as she and really don't get along so great but my wife doesn't really get on with her either so it was just like… meh. She had a few cousins grumbling that she shouldn't marry an Arab, why not a black woman, why are you still gay, etc etc etc, but we were having a small wedding anyway so they were never on the guest list to start with.

>And finally, was it legal to get married where you were, or did you have to go somewhere else?

Neither of us were born here but we live in the UK where gay marriage is thankfully legal.

No. 271590

Since we apparently have a lot of experienced butch lesbians here, how do you deal with the ungodly bitterness that comes with knowing that your dating pool will forever be nonexistent, your parents will probably never accept you, bihets use you for a fun adventure and think "I wouldn't be offended by a lesbian having a crush on me!" is the biggest compliment ever, you'll never be as desired as a man and thus the rare GNC people around you troon out left and right? Once again I had a crush on a girl that I thought was flirting with me but turns out she's a hettie only looking for fun. It sent me on a spiral of self-hatred once again and I just don't know how to deal with this style of life. I wish I was born straight or at least bisexual, people think masculine women are cool as long as they're not actually lesbian.

No. 271601

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>>271590
I want a masc gf nonna don’t give up I’m searching for you.

No. 271624

Something amazing happened. I met a women on tinder who is a die hard radfem, gamer like me, super goofy and immature like me, and were going on a date soon. Proof that there are cool terfs on tinder and you don't have to settle for a normie. It might not work out, it's early days, but I'm feeling so much more optimistic than usual. Needed to share this on here.

No. 271625

>>271624
Wishing you luck on the date nonnie!

No. 271638

Dumb question nonnas but is it worth it to date a handmaiden type in the hopes that I Could Fix Her or should I just move on to someone who doesn't feel sorry for troons invading women's athletics?

No. 271643

>>271638
I don't know if this will help you nonnie but I use to be an handmaiden and I changed so everything is possible. However, I think that you have much more chance to change someone who is more logical and science oriented in general. Or maybe a more "philosopher type" someone with an open mind, open to debate all sorts of ideas, so I think you should definitely try to look for this type of qualities in a potential partner kek! Good luck

No. 271668

>>271624
How did you "come out" to each other as radfems if it's okay to ask? I feel like I can never reveal that

No. 271711

I'm sorry if this is the wrong thread for this question, but I am in my first relationship with a woman and super nervous for her to see my clit. I've never seen one in real life but in porn their clits seem tiny like nonexistent, even here anons describe how to "find" it and it made me realise my clit is obviously bigger than normal. When aroused it's maybe 2cm and very easy to see/feel/find. Is this way above normal and would you be put off if your girlfriend had one like that? Should I tell her beforehand? She's sweet and I hope she'll understand, I'm so nervous she's going to think I'm intersex or on T or something.

I've seen a T clit before online and it kinda scared me, I wonder if that's how a normal woman would feel looking at mine? I'm really really sorry if this is inappropriate admins can delete.

No. 271724

>>271711
I understand why you would feel bad, 2cm is quite big. However don't tell her anything ! There is nothing more off-putting than insecurity. Don't think too much about it. Fake it till you're make it.

No. 271725

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No. 271731

>>271668
Why ? Personally I openly say that a woman will never be a man and vice versa. In real life 99% of people agree.

No. 271734

>>271711
I have a larger than average clit too due to PCOS, not measured it but, well, it's prominent. I know how you feel because it makes me feel like a freak too. Situations reversed though, would you care if your partner had a big one? I'm guessing no, right? Most women don't really care about it, at least from my experience anyway. I have brought it up before, usually when I take my underwear off I give them the stock "yeah I know it's kinda big" speech and I've yet to have a woman make a cruel remark or look at me like the freak I feel like for it. Honestly a lot of women worry about their downstairs. In porn you always see little clits, small, neat vulvas and little to no pubic hair. I think most women know what it's like to worry about these things and aren't bothered by any perceived "abnormalities". I agree with >>271724 that insecurity is the more off-putting thing. Just remember that if this woman does react negatively or make a cruel remark, she's not worth your time. Women aren't made in a factory and we come in all shapes and sizes. It's nothing to feel guilty about.

No. 271741

>>271734
i like big clits i think theyre hot because its all the more pleasure for her to feel youknow?

No. 271742

>>271711
>>271734
My ex had a bigger than average clit too due to PCOS, and honestly I'm jealous of her, she came so much easier than me with my microscopic miniature clit rip. Also in my eperience women don't care for the appearance of your genitals like scrotes.

No. 271743

File: 1655987748543.gif (709.76 KB, 300x240, Nevra_and_Roxxi_Love_Meter.gif)

>>271624
Bless nonna, manifesting success for you guys! I'm so jealous lmao

No. 271827

>>247377
Sorry for late reply! I actually just put 'swipe left if you're not radfem' in my tinder bio because I decided to be brave and risk rage matches (no tra has matched me yet anyway) and a couple women messaged first saying 'your bio is so refreshing' etc. It's worth risking confrontation cause most 'kill terfs' people are wimps who would not want to argue it seems.

No. 271828

>>271743
Thank you!!! Have faith we are all out here searching for each other

No. 271831

>>271827
Yeah I've found IRL being upfront is the best way to be too. Many women think like us but understandably fear social ostracization and even violence if they speak their mind. Like you said, the people who say shit like "kill terfs" are wimps. I've had them disagree with me, but in the most meek and nervous way. Absolutely nothing like the tough guy anime protag they make themselves out to be in their shitty webcomics, kek. The only place I can't openly speak my mind is my job as I work with an FTM and she's already gotten pissy with me because she doesn't like being mogged by a butch who won't correct every single person who he/him's me. As much as I want to scream at her, this job is a passion of mine and I am not losing it over a goddamn gayden. Other than that I say life is too short to be a handmaiden. Go forth and say the t-slur, my fellow AFABs!

No. 271934

>>271711
Big clit insecurity is common but don't even fret. You don't have to warn her beforehand, and if she's someone who actually enjoys sex with women she'll probably like yours because big clits are easier to stimulate imo.

>>271741
Technically it's not "more" pleasure, it's just the same amount of nerve endings distributed in a larger area, which can be less pleasure if the partner isn't doing a good job covering the larger area.

>>271827
>>271831
Based. I don't identify as a radfem but I'm also very open about my politics in social situations. No actual lesbian really thinks trannies are women, they're all just pretending they do to appease the queers or some just have never been in the same room as a tranny and change their minds as soon as they do. There's a lot of propaganda about how neovaginas are "just like the real thing" and women don't tend to google if that's actually true, for instance. I also like to speak up about how the trannies around me tried to get me to transition to a man just because I'm GNC and how they resented my "cis" gf and openly spoke to me about how unfair it is. That changes minds super easily and it's all literally true. You can trust lesbians ime.

No. 271949

>>271934
I'm >>271831 and I don't identify as a radfem either. Though I have told trannies I'm a TERF before because that word is like their kryptonite, kek. Honestly the radfems I've known IRL have mostly been too obsessed with being nice and how TIFs are poor widdle baby girls and they end up being about as useful as a libfem in the end. If you do not give these freaks pushback in real life they will think they're winning. You have to remind them that real life is different and that the general population will not play along. TIFs are incredibly insidious with their agenda and will try to garner sympathy from everyone while singling out any GNC woman for brainwashing. I've been told before that I'm "wasting" my body because I would pass well and I'm "practically trans anyway" because I'm a butch. These kinds of TIF do not deserve sympathy and I will not give them any.

No. 271952

>>271949
Hmm I honestly haven't had poor experiences with Aidens, the troons around me who made me uncomfortable/tried to trans me were all MtF. Either way, I do agree with you. Can't give these fucks an inch, gotta stand your ground.

No. 271981

Does anyone else feel like sometimes there's a bit of a general assumption that all women have sex with "penis people"?

No. 272001

>>271949
>>271952
I haven't had bad experiences with FTMs as a butch either, the people who have been the most aggressive with the "what are your pronouns anon, you would look so good as a guy" shit and FTM tranny agenda to begin with have been straight (or "pan" i.e. Aiden chasers) cis or nonbinary identified women. In my experience FTMs do troon out due to internalized misogyny and homophobia so they're often sympathetic to my struggles knowing them themselves first hand. The rare legitimately woman hating, conservative "I'm a straight man now"-type "ex-lesbian" FTM is the worst of the worst though, right up there with AGP transbians waving their ladydicks in our faces throwing women under the bus. They just don't exist in the liberal sphere, they're bred in the "based tranny" section of right wing kooks.

No. 272032

Hey lesbigays quick question
How do you flirt with women? I’m not trying to do stuff that’s like
>stand behind her and mumble ‘you smell nice’
>bring her dead mice you just hunted
>piss on her doorstep to show dominance
Also, do you look for an excuse? What setting is alright? I really want to know how to act non-retarded with women. If i search the internet for how to talk to girls i like, all i get is cringe alpha male dating advice, so asking here is way better.

No. 272038

File: 1656169508140.gif (448.58 KB, 444x258, ba-dum-tsss-drum.gif)

>>272032
>How do you flirt with women?
Rather badly!

No. 272044

>>272032
if you were clever you could just do it autonomously, doesnt take a strategy to be charming when you have charisma. if you're not clever i think you gotta go the dork route and be a bit goofy and earnest and itll win hearts. be yourself, always the best way.

No. 272045

>>272038
noooo nonnie please lmao

No. 272046

>>272032
Compliment her when you notice she did something different with her hair, style, whatever. Also I often do this thing when she's saying something positive about something (X thing is really cool/cute) I ask 'Do you know what else is cute/cool? You.' and it's cheezy but endearing. Ask her about her interests, remember things she said in previous conversations and bring them up later, buy her small things. Not exactly all flirting but it's something that can still come across as romantic. I do all these things on accident, though, it all depends on your personality. Just show her that you care about her.

No. 272061

>>272044
I like this, you assume even as the ultimate turbovirgin i could still have a chance. >>272046
Thank you, yoda of lesbians. I will remember this, it definitely sounds like it would world

No. 272063

>>272045
Sorry, nonna. If I don't make bad jokes I will die. That said, as an autist I have found making women laugh is genuinely a good way to make them feel comfortable around you. My wife and literally all my exes have said my humour was one of the first non-physical traits that drew them to me. Just don't make dirty jokes 'cause I once said that "I like your clothes… they'd look better on my hotel room floor" line in a bar whilst absolutely shitfaced and I got a glass of wine thrown in my face for it (which I deserved). It was red wine too! Fucking ruined my shirt.

No. 272066

>>272032
>those examples
my sides nona

Anyway I agree with >>272046 , the non-creepy compliments like telling her new haircut or shirt looks nice and being genuinely interested in what she says by reacting and asking questions works well. >>272063 is right too, jokes and humor are charming as long as they're not the dirty kind. When I was younger I used to make those raunchy jokes and immediately found out they make you look like a sleazeball and I hate receiving them myself as well. Save those for later.

No. 272156

>>271724
>>271734
>>271741
>>271742
>>271934
Super late but thank you all for the kind responses! I feel so much better and a little less dread about the whole situation.

No. 272180

Does anyone have books/sources talking about how political lesbians harmed the working class/homosexual lesbian scene? A year or so ago I read some really good posts on radblr about it but I can't find them anymore. I remember there was a PDF of a book from the 70s/80s maybe and a homosexual woman was talking about her experience going to a "political lesbian" meetup and having them shame her for wanting sexual relationships with women (because the political lesbians wanted to define 'lesbian' as some kind of cottagecore platonic sisterhood thing).

It's a stretch but I figured someone here might know what I'm talking about.

No. 272195

File: 1656261803741.jpg (9.55 KB, 320x328, 1645730420985.jpg)

Tried dating again and I am not enjoying it. Everyone is into casual shit, hooking up with as many people as possible, open relationships and polyamory, and of course I had to crush on yet another (turned out to be) fuckboy(fuckgirl?) who's just playing with me and I can't admit it to myself or to others.
Getting a gf in 20never, rant over

No. 272199

>>272195
Maybe you should change the avenue through which you’re meeting people Nona. Don’t give up!

No. 272205

>>272199
It's dating apps, I don't know where to meet lesbians irl outside of bars. But I think it's a cultural thing, the place where I'm living is very "open" and the same issue was pointed out to me from another lesbian who moved here a year ago. Maybe it's not in the cards right now, maybe I just need more luck or maybe I need to fix my taste in women, but thanks nona!

No. 272207

File: 1656272823209.png (309.14 KB, 859x572, Gentleman-Jack-exclusive (1).p…)

>>271949
>>271934
I didn't realise radfem wasn't always synonymous with TERF, I assumed it was because the RF part. Good to know though!
Curious, anyone from outside the UK watch Gentleman Jack? It sadly makes me pine for being a lesbian in 1800s. Occasionally they say weird things in the show though, like call her a man and she doesn't always correct them. I'm genuinely scared they're gonna go down the 'maybe she was a transman' route and fully commit to pretending lesbians don't exist.

No. 272213

>>272207
>I didn't realise radfem wasn't always synonymous with TERF
I know Aiden's rights are included under feminism of course, but IMO they shouldn't be allowed in the movement. They're female but they're traitors in same sense libfems and anti-feminists are traitors. It's part of why I left online radfem spaces. I'm only rad leaning but what's even the point of having FTMs join? I've been called harsh for it but you can't trust the fence sitters. I've seen them backstab before and go full troon, TERF hater after months of trying to prove they're a radfem. As for Gentleman Jack I haven't watched it because lesbian tv programs usually suck, but plenty of butches are comfortable with being called by male terms without it being a ~gender~ thing. I'm butch and my butch friends and I often call each other brothers. It's just a "you are like me and we have a special relationship because of that" thing. It's not that deep.

No. 272252

Nonnas how do you all feel about touch me nots?
I'm recently single and want to start having random hookups again, but I always feel like I'm disappointing the other party when I tell them I don't want to be touched

No. 272273

>>272207
I think they're just showing how society responded to it back then, because the gender divisions were very extreme and that is what actually happened to her. She wrote about it in her diary. Even when she dressed all feminine in Paris, her behavior and bodytype was enough for people to wonder whether she was a man. You can also notice in the show that her reaction is annoyed and offended. Yeah she doesn't always correct them, because she's heard it all before and it can be in her favor at times to not be perceived as a woman. Anne Lister did not group herself in with other lesbians of that time (they also didn't call it lesbianism). She also wrote about how her partners were often embarrassed to be out with her because of how she looked. I doubt they're going for the "maybe she was a transman" route. I think they're just sticking to what we know and what people could've identified as at that time, grounding it in historic reality. That way they can avoid people being disappointed if she was sorted in any modern category.

No. 272292

>>272252
seems a common expectation to mention you're a stone early on or in your dating profile. you should have some success as long as you're up front about it, there is a good handful of women out there happy to just get topped.

No. 272299

>>272292
>there is a good handful of women out there happy to just get topped
This. I was stone until I reassessed my body and sex issues and opened up with my wife but I racked up plenty of notches on my bedpost without being touched. You likely won't attract any women you wanna date as we're seen as dildos on legs and pseudo men but you'll keep yourself busy and have a pretty fun time. Just be upfront about it like the other anon said.

No. 272309

>>272299
What do you mean without being touched? You mean without others touching your genitals? Or ANY touching when you are talking about stones? Sorry for a silly question

No. 272316

>>272309
Without touching my genitals. I'm lucky that I can almost always climax from just the friction of a strap-on alone. If not I just didn't come and that was whatever, I wasn't too bothered. Different stones have different levels of touch they're ok with. Like I used to think my chest was too masculine due to the small breasts and muscle combination so I seldom took my shirt off with a hook-up and let them touch me there, unless it was a FWB situation where I felt a bit more comfortable. Some stones I know are fine taking their top off and being touched there though. It's a person to person thing but the one constant is no touching of a stones genitals.

No. 272330

My fellow butches, do you know of any butch fashion channels on YouTube? Preferably non gendie bendie ones. I watch menswear channels as I'm boxy and tall enough for it to work but it would be nice to see GNC women talk about fashion for a change. I'm planning my holiday wardrobe atm and it just got me thinking.

No. 272331

I'm so happy nonnas, I went to NYC pride yesterday and I can't stop smiling thinking about it. My older gay male coworker took me since he knows the city better than me and where the bars are, plus safety ofc. I'm used to the pride parade my small town hosts that's just a bunch of high school aged enbees and aidens and people I went to high school with which always felt… embarrassing? Awkward? Sanitized to make the lgbt look good for the pockets of conservative CisHets in my area?
That was NOT the case in NYC. I've never seen so many hot women in my entire life, just being proud and themselves. It was like a huge, gay party, and I finally didn't feel ashamed or awkward for being myself or wanting to fuck the tatted up mascs I saw. I don't think I look super gay but I wore the gayest outfit I could muster during the day with a little pride pin to top it off.
At night we went back to our airbnb so I could change into a nicer "here and dtf" outfit for the bars. First bar we hit up was mostly men but I noticed a girl checking me out which felt… good? I'm not used to that kind of attention.
Then my coworker dropped me off at cubbyhole (THE lesbian bar) after sitting in line for an hour and went off to do his own thing after making sure I would be okay on my own. Ohhh my god, SO many hot ladies in there. And the drinks were strong so that liquid courage had me acting up.
And… I finally got to make out with another woman! Twice! She said she would have went back to my airbnb with me if she didn't have to work super early the next morning which was a bit of a bummer, but tbh just getting to make out with a woman was my main goal and everything else would be a bonus. I'm not a virgin and a goldstar but my ex was… not the best. I've basically been hugless and kissless since I broke up with her 3 years ago so this kind of attention had me so elated. And multiple hot ladies called me hot and pretty which I really wasn't expecting due to my shit luck with dating lol.
I'm just so happy. I love being lesbian. I love women. I can't wait to go back to a lesbian bar. Sorry for the sperging but I'm so happy and I figured I'd share this little achievement.

No. 272335

>>272330
Jade Fox is butch and also has a fashion channel

No. 272337

>>272331
>cishet
Happy for you but for the love of god stop using tranny language.

>>272335
Thanks! I'll check her out.

No. 272342

>>272337
My bad, I couldn't think of another way to describe the pockets of "I accept it but I don't want it shoved in my face" sorts of people in my area since I was so excited typing my experience out lol

No. 272343

>>272342
No worries, nona. I didn't mean it as an insult or anything. I just believe the best route is to not comply at all with their rules and lingo. I'm happy you had a good time! I've never really enjoyed pride myself as deep down I've always held resentment towards people who are unapologetically out, which in the past has come across as hatred. The one big pride parade I did attend years ago in Tel Aviv got interrupted by protesters and I ended up running from the pigs for punching one, kek. Trying again at a pride parade is on my bucket list though. Maybe now I'm married I can just be more… me. If that makes sense.

PS: if you wanna integrate here type "sage" in the email field when replying to people so you don't bump the thread every time as you can catch a ban for that.

No. 272345

>>272343
Thanks for the sage advice lol
Ah yes, punching cops, a pride tradition. When we went back out at night I overheard some people arguing with the cops and getting aggressive since they blocked off a bunch of streets for no reason and people were pissed since it made navigating way more difficult.
Trust me, nyc pride is the only one I've enjoyed so far. After only going to pride events that are aimed at under-21s or under-18s it was such a breath of fresh air. Not that young gay people don't deserve it, but where tf do older gay people gather that isn't like… an AA support group. Being old enough to legally drink made me feel weird and out of place at my local pride.
I'd definitely go to NYC pride with your wife if you ever get the chance! It's huge, loud, fun, and is more about being yourself and gay than being proudly out and wearing a pride flag as a cape. You don't need to shoot rainbows out of your ass for people there to know you're homo, because why would you be there if you weren't?

No. 272528

Unpopular opinion but the obsession with sniffing out "polilezzes" has gone way out of hand. Unless a woman who claims to be a lesbian says or does something that explicitly indicates attraction to men ("Harry Styles is my comphet crush uwu I also love girldick") and/or lack of attraction to women ("I'm a lesbian but asexual so I never want to have sex with women ever") I don't care enough to overanalyze everything she says or does so I can pull a No True Scotsman to call her a fakebian because I don't personally like her. Admit it, a lot of "polilez" accusations are indeed vendettas.

No. 272540

>>272528
>Admit it, a lot of "polilez" accusations are indeed vendettas.
It's true. Ironically the women that comb through your blog and try to doxx you for dirt on your sexual history almost always have a sexual history with men.

No. 272555

>>272528
I agree a lot of the accusations - especially on shitholes like radblr or rad twitter - are vendettas as I've seen plenty of callouts with little to no evidence; but as someone who's got close with "lesbians" only for them to talk about my "choice" and how comphet made them sleep with several men and how men are still attractive to them, it does make you paranoid. I don't throw out accusations as it's a messy game that no one wins, but I can't turn that paranoia off and I know a lot of lesbians who feel that way.

No. 272557

>>272555
>comphet made them sleep with several men and how men are still attractive to them
I agree, those who say stuff like that are not lesbians hands down. I mean the nitpickers who try to use someone's political opinions or personal style or taste in women or taste in media or willingness to discuss her sex life online or how knowledgeable she is on (US American) lesbian history and culture (even when that woman isn't even American) as "proof that she's a polilez". It does make more sense to be suspicious regarding certain individuals you know in real life and get close enough to because of course no one likes being lied to by someone they consider a friend or lover. However internet slapfights are just not worth getting too worked up over and those who do this are always unhinged weirdos that you would not want to interact with in real life.

No. 272559

>>272557
AYRT, I completely agree. I hate how there's almost like a lesbian test to take but it only features American history. Radblr blogs be like "Fuck AmeriKKKa!!! Fuck US-centrism!!!" then eye you with suspicion for not knowing some niche little lesbian occurrence from 1950's America kek. It's equal parts funny and frustrating. I also find the people who throw out accusations online also tend to be the ones who will flip their politics seemingly overnight, too. Definitely unhinged weirdos who make it harder to call out actual polilezzes because the word is losing it's meaning (at least online) and rapidly coming to mean "dyke I don't like and/or agree with".

No. 272560

>>272528
The polilez witch hunt only really takes place online, but yeah sure it's excessive there.

>>272555
Oh I've never had someone say this to me IRL but I would absolutely immediately tell them the comphet doc was written by a bisexual and that they are bicycling when they think they only like women, nothing more. They're just confused/misinformed since the LGBTroon community constantly lies about what's normal and what's not. If they call me a biphobe or heckin invalidator I can always out-argue them in their woke cred better than they can. Luckily for them I haven't crossed paths with any lesbian larpers IRL besides troons but I will absolutely call that out if I do.

No. 272562

>>272540
>women that comb through your blog and try to doxx you for dirt on your sexual history
Is this seriously a thing?? Jfc I'm glad I'm not on radblr.

No. 272564

>>272560
It's happened to me twice IRL. First woman I'd gotten close to for about six months or so and when a mutual friend discussed having unsafe sex and we were telling her to get checked this woman casually chimed in "I get checked regularly now because this guy once gave me a really bad STI" and my friend and I just went completely silent. Totally stunned. The polilez started talking about comphet and how guys may be attractive but she's a lesbian now and we just changed the subject, not wanting to argue over it. I slowly distanced myself from her afterwards. The second time hurt because it was a GNC woman who I had known for about year and who I thought understood me as both a lesbian and a butch. I was lamenting one day about the comments I'd heard from co-workers about me and how it upset me to be judged constantly and she says to me, as coolly as if she was discussing the weather, "well, you did choose this life, the butch lesbian thing" that did erupt into an argument because I was furious about it. Thankfully I've had better luck with lesbian friends since then but the thought is always there meeting friends of friends and going to gatherings with new people. Have you got a link for the comphet doc? I've never actually read it as I didn't hear of the term until about three years ago.

>>272562
Yep, radblr is crazy. IIRC one blogger did have an old DD/lg blog and was strongly suspected to be polilez and another one who was detrans used to have men send in dick pics for her to rate out of ten (I wish I was joking) and that kinda started the trend. Radblr was always a very toxic environment though. TBH I'm kinda blackpilled on online communities as they all inevitably become full of drama and slapfights. At least on here we're anonymous so it's more of an even footing where there's no cliques or mean girls shit.

No. 272596

>>272564
Here's the accursed doc https://www.docdroid.net/N46Ea3o/copy-of-am-i-a-lesbian-masterdoc-pdf

>it's way more important to ask yourself if you can be truthfully happy with a man than if you’re attracted to them. Ask yourself if you can have healthy fulfilling relationships with men and actually wanna be with them.

> if your attraction to men makes you uncomfortable, you may be a lesbian.
So stupid. Only a bihet would struggle with this.

> it’s not fair that straight women can have “girl crushes” and straight men can have “man crushes” without anyone telling them they can’t be/aren’t straight anymore, so the reverse should not be applied to lesbians.

Maybe this is wild of me but I'd consider any "het" who's got a real "girl/guy crush" to be a bisexual. It's actually very simple.

No. 272601

>>272596
All of that is just jumping through hoops to make yourself a REAL ~valid~ big gay and not a boring old bisexual. I know bicycling and bi attraction can be really confusing, but please let's not do this. "Febfems" have a similar aura, wanting to be validated by lesbians and not being like those other dirty bihetties. I don't mean the not having sex with men part (that's sensible and good!) bit making a whole MOGAI identity of it.

This talk got me thinking about my ex, who was quite butch and all, everyone saw her as a lesbian and that's what she identified as. But she did drunkenly have sex with men, many times! She also creamed her pants every time she saw that Stranger Things jock on screen. But she also got fucking upset when I called her bi. It was confusing.

No. 272610

>>272596
AYRT. Oh this looks awful! I'm gonna read it with my wife in a bit for a laugh. Will report back to grumble about it.

No. 272611

>>272601
Febfem I only like to think of as a simple general classifier. Like I don't even make friends with male-attracted or male people so for me a febfem is a friend candidate. Not a partner though, I never ever want to date one. Still, I do get that some febfems take it to a more identity place vs a lived reality place.

No. 272617

>>272596
Skimming through the doc once again after several years, the author of this ahem masterpiece really comes off as extremely emotionally and intellectually stunted. She is seriously unaware both on her attachment/intimacy issues, and how patriachy and mysogyny directly influences intimate het relationships. Like I am sorry girl, but a man not being able to sexually and emotionally satisfy you is not a proof you are a lesbian. He just doesn’t see you as human enough to give a shit. She should have went to therapy and brushed up on feminist theory instead of writing this drivel

No. 272618

>>272610
We only managed eight pages, kek. Holy shit I cannot believe people use comphet seriously now after reading this source.
>b-b-b-but movies about straight people made me like dick!
Yeah? That's funny because I was never interested in those films. It's almost as if there's a fundamental difference between us. The commodification of "gay" and "lesbian" to mean "cool, alternative people" was a mistake. I'm sick of bisexuals on literally every social media platform writing essays on why it's a homophobic hate crime to say they're not gay. Yet ironically enough it's not biphobic for them to staunchly deny their reality and type up 31 page essays trying to prove that lesbians are attracted to men and that's totes normal. Good grief.

No. 272623

>>272618
>movies about straight people made me like dick!
Lmao I only now noticed that this is the "video games cause violence" argument word for word, holy fuck this is real bad.
> The commodification of "gay" and "lesbian" to mean "cool, alternative people"
Seeing western libs talk about how homosexuals are cool and how they wish they were one gives me a serious whiplash since I have only been exposed to extremely negative stereotypes about lesbians; it is like communicating with aliens from another dimension. Those people are just stupid, imagine thinking "I think lesbians are cool therefore I am a lesbian" okay and I think dinosaurs are cool, what now?

No. 272625

>>272623
NTA but
>Spoiler
YES! It is so wild hearing westerners say that shit when lesbians and gays are still getting beat to death/imprisoned where I live. I don't understand how they can casually forget the horrors that homosexuals went through, and still go through in most parts of the world. How did this even happen?

No. 272627

>>272623
>Lmao I only now noticed that this is the "video games cause violence" argument word for word, holy fuck this is real bad.
Oh fuck, you're right! I can't believe I didn't pick up on that. I did notice the mention of fictional characters though, anything to defend having a husbando and reading pornographic fanfiction about him, kek. I relate to the whiplash feeling from hearing western libs talk about homosexuality (or anything, really), I'm mixed Arab, go figure. They talk about how white people invented homophobia and literally every other form of bigotry and when non-whites speak up about homophobia in their community you get radio silence. It's like they think that acknowledging that all races are shitty makes them a racist or something. They just baby non-whites like "aww you poor widdle colonised peasant, life must be so hard for you, I support you though did you see the positivity post I reblogged!!!" like oh my god please fuck off. Sorry for the rant, the bihet manifesto is giving me tumblr flashbacks, kek.

No. 272652

How did/do you guys find women to date IRL in college? I've basically given up on dating apps, I get likes and matches but conversations always fizzle out and I hate how fake and performative it is. I also feel like maybe the type of girl I'm looking for isn't on dating apps anyway (i.e. she's a well-adjusted human being lol). How do you naturally find queer women?

No. 272692

>>272611
>Like I don't even make friends with male-attracted people
I'm not telling you are wrong but have you found friends? That sounds kind of lonely and difficult to achieve, especially since so many women claiming to be lesbians actually are not

No. 272712

>>272611
Febfems are literally male-attracted by definition, what do you think "febfem" even means? Or do you mean female-attracted women who also do not get in relationships with men?

No. 272716

>>272692
I actually found a ton. Lesbians that aren't troon handmaidens all are pretty much on the same page as me. I'm open about my desire to surround myself with women with rich inner worlds and I've found enough friends and a gf to fill all of my free time. The reason I want women around me isn't just misandry as I mainly missed out on female connections in my early life and I'm catching up but also I want to be around people who understand my experiences. Lesbians are simply the ones most likely to get me.

No. 272725

>>272712
Yeah sorry, I was high so messed up my sentence. If she's febfem and is okay with me never wanting to meet her male friends either then she's a potential friend. It's not a sure thing though, if she brings her fondness of men up or something the friendship is over. Does that make sense?

No. 272745

>>272725
>>272712
tf is a febfem?(spoonfeeding)

No. 272758

>>272745
google is free babygirl.

No. 272808

Do lesbians get diseases from each other like gay men do? Like a lot?

No. 272813

I met the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen tonight while looking my absolute shlubbiest and most like a drowned rat gfdi. She still asked for my number (which obviously I gave to her) which is a good sign but idk if she's gay or not. She has a shaved head which definitely points in the right direction but I don't want to make assumptions. Wish me luck!!

No. 272814

>>272813
Huzzah for nonnie!

No. 272816

>>272813
I love girls with shaved heads, luckky ♥

No. 272818

>>272808
I guess mucuous membranes touching eachother will always spread stds, but if it's just a finger or a toy touching a mucuous membrane it's not as likely. Hygiene is still important, but how many women got stds on their fingers or toys? I guess licking could still transmit something but the lack of membrainy appendages sticked to holes does lessen the risk.

No. 272821

>>272808
Transmission between women is apparently possible but the #1 risk factor for STD spread is the presence of a dick (and I'm sure a membrane that easily tears and doesn't naturally lubricate like an anus doesn't help), so not like gay men or even straights at all. Risk is pretty low.

No. 272838

>>272808
It's possible (like any kind of sex), but I've never had a sexually active lesbian or even bi woman friend who had an STD. So I wouldn't say it's "a lot" at all, even if hooking up with strangers would have a higher risk than with a gf (but how would lesbians get hook-ups anyway when the apps are full of men lmao). Lesbians use condoms in their own way, either on toys or dental dams

No. 272852

long time lurker, first time poster. I just went to a (female only, everyone there was on board with gc) lesbian retreat this past weekend and it was amazing. different from what I expected somehow but very healing and chill and I met so many amazing women of all ages. 100% recommend you to go even if you have to travel if it's as all possible for you; I'm in the states and there were women from all over the western half of the US there even though it was nominally a regional thing (I myself had to take a plane to get there). Being with only lesbians irl is so different from just being online in spaces like this, in a good way. If you're one of those recluses like me that's like, 'ugh, I should go to LBGT things and meet new people but they're probably just full of people with genders or TiMs and/or I won't be able to relate to the women there, and it's so much effort….': please, please, if you ever get the opportunity get out of your room and go to these things, I swear it's worth it. Sign up for Lesbian Connection, it's free and it's how you can find out about some of these festivals and connect with other women who are normies/gc. There's also nansheonearth, she's a rf which I know not everyone here is on board with but she constantly posts about women's festivals and connecting radfems regionally. There's also a gc lesbian zoom/discord group that I know about that women from all over the world (but mostly US, it is true) are in, cowboyjen on tumblr can tell you more about that and and she's also on tiktok & etc. if you're not on tumblr

No. 272856

>>272852
You smell like reddit

No. 272863

>>272856
why such a retardedly bitter reply

No. 272869

>>272863
NTA but they're kinda right. A lot of us, including myself, talk about the importance of knowing lesbians IRL and how it's very healing if you can get to retreats/meetings like this. It's not a revelation and there's no need to talk like a second hand car salesman about it. I'm happy for OP, don't get me wrong. But stating common sense when claiming to be a lurker? Redditor behaviour.

No. 272874

>>272869
Oh fuck off, reddit behaviour is aggressively gatekeeping the thread because a 100% on-topic post didn't meet your exact tone requirements.
>wahh wahh don't be too excited about stuff or ur a redditor I am very smart
>>272852
This sounds like heaven nonna, I'm happy for you. Did you meet anyone special?

No. 272878

>>272863
Sorry it's the "first time poster here!" thing that got me. Just make the post ffs

No. 272890

File: 1656684876329.jpg (96.46 KB, 1125x1075, JUST.jpg)

>>272852
This came at the right moment honestly. I've been building a network of lesbians here in town but it's been an uphill battle all the way and I was considering giving up on connecting with other actual gay people because it's a handmaiden minefield… I actually used to interact with Cowboyjen and also dykemind on tumblr so maybe I should go back to that and finally go to a retreat. My gf accepts my views on gender which I'm grateful for but I just really don't even wanna fucking debate anybody anymore, don't wanna think about the gender shit. I just want to be in the company of other real lesbians and exist.

No. 273063

>>272195
>>272205
Dating apps are just hell in my area too nonna, it's polyamory and men pretending to be women and "nothing serious". I'm hoping that if I leave my profile active on HER long enough some real normie lesbians or bi women with a personality will find me, but who knows. Fingers crossed.

No. 273075

>>272852
omg i always loved jen's tiktok! She has such a cute life. Just messaged her asking for the discord inivite

No. 273085

This may seem OT, but I wanted to ask specifically lesbians and hear your experience with this..I have been thinking about emigrating for good. I live in Eastern Europe, so obviously it is a homophobic shithole with barely any career opportunities but ever since Ukraine I have seriously been afraid for my life and seeing less and less reasons to stay. I wanted to hear if some of you had experiences emigrating to a more liberal country and I guess some encouragement? Did it get better with relocating or is it hell you can't escape? Even though my family is homophobic and is the source of many mental issues of mine, I still feel guilty over potentially leaving them. I haven't come out to them and frankly, I am scared since I am emotionally not ready to brace the hysterical shitstorm my russian mother will create. And even if she ever comes to terms with my homosexuality, I would still have to be secretive and low-key so that no-one in the hometown finds out her daughter is lesbian (and obviously no family get-togethers or introducing gf). Honestly, I struggle with internalized homophobia/hating myself a lot (crying in pillows and shit) and I don't know how I could ever feel comfortable living in this country. How did you cope with the guilt around leaving your parents (even if your relationship isn't good)?

No. 273091

>>273085
Get the fuck out, i mean it. There are other hurdles in a more liberal place but you will have a better life. My country of origin was worse than yours admittedly but emigrating was the best thing I've ever done with my life.

No. 273092

>>273091
Doubleposting sry: As for parents, I never ever felt I owed anything to them personally. They chose to make me exist and if they can't cope with a really simple thing like me being gay I just can't care about that. People that don't accept you don't deserve to be in your life. Seek people who love you as you are and keep your heart full.

No. 273138

Stupid question but are there any other lesbian spaces than reddit?

There are no clubs/meetups/bars in my country so the only interaction I can get is sadly online. The one of the like 3 subs I followed (r/lesbianactually) just went down the shitter with their new rule about lable policing. I liked it since it was a bit terf-y but now the only subs left are all almost inactive. I'm tired.

No. 273222

>>273138
There’s /lgbt board’s /clg/(cis lesbian general)

There’s also L chat forum, but that one focuses a lot on celebrity gossip

No. 273223

>>273222
nta i don't go on 4chan but is /clg/ any worth it considering that it's on 4chan /lgbt/? can lesbians just discuss there without trannies or aidens or gay men barging in with their oh-so-valuable input?

No. 273241

>>273223
They usually move into the discord where users are screened, so no male gets in

No. 273270

>>273241
I should really get a side discord acc just to participate in these anonymously I guess. Is the vibe on the server seething about queer shit or is it more of a real hangout? Not looking to get even more radicalized, I'm peaked enough.

No. 273277

>>273092
Thank you a lot for your answer, I guess I need to get over the societal conditioning of family>>>>>everything else. I am glad to hear you are happy with emigrating and I hope one day I too will have a better life sorry for being depressing lol

No. 273370

>>272890
Same, nona. At this point I'm tempted to just go public with my views and deal with the mass backlash because I know it would help me find actual lesbians that I could hang out with. I don't wanna burn any major bridges though so it'll have to wait unfortunately.

No. 273394

why are so many lesbians handmaidens for gay men? why is it considered perfectly justified to say "bihet women are not my sisters" but saying "gay men are not my brothers" is such a sacrilege? when it's lesbophobia and misogyny from gay men it's "not all gay men" but when it's lesbophobia from bihets it's "yes all bihets". and if you ever dare say you find more common ground with bihet women than with gay men you're a "bootlicker" even by supposed "feminists". i'm not saying you have to like bihets but stop making excuses for gay men ffs, they're literally no better.

No. 273465

>>273394
Because I feel more kinship with fully same-sex attracted individuals who share my experiences as a gay person more than a bihet who at a 90% probability ends up in a heterosexual relationship and thinks my sexuality is a choice and belittles my trauma as a homosexual person due to the lack of first-hand experience, especially since a lot of grown gay men also know what assholes straight men and bisexual sex pests are. Next question.

No. 273492

>>273394
Gay men have oppression in terms of sexuality in common with us. Bi and het women have misogynistic oppression in common with us. At the end of the day if you really want to keep good company it has to be a fellow lesbian because we're the only ones who get pur unique combination of oppression as well as joy. Seeking companionship in people you have to filter yourself or tolerate things in is a fool's errand imo. At least for that close friend circle, it's just better to seek your kin. Also wanna emphasize the importance of positive synergy, it's not just shitty societal experiences that should bind us, it should also be a celebration of what makes life as a lesbian an amazing experience. That you'll never find in anyone but one of us.

No. 273496

>>273465
in my own experience gay men have also belittled my trauma as a woman and even as a lesbian and let's not act like bisexual women are more likely to be sex pests than literally any kind of man but if i point this out i'm a mean "homophobe"
>>273492
i agree with you, i just don't see how homophobia is a worse issue than misogyny. both are horrible but misogyny is usually more likely to be tolerated

No. 273497

>>273496
It depends. If you're active in the "queer" community you often end up being harassed by troons, pressured into pretending to be sexually available to them to spare their feelings etc. Bi women just don't get the struggle of being a homosexual when it comes things like that. In that sense only gay people get what we're going through, straight people aren't pressured to date troons, it's just us gay people.

There is no oppression hierarchy at the end of the day, people are affected differently by different things. Someone who doesn't deal with working in a male-dominated field, with a feminist circle may think it's not that important to connect on misogyny because it doesn't take as much mental real-estate. For me the troonery is rooted in misogyny because gay men largely don't even tolerate transmen, it's basically only lesbians being bullied into bending reality to spare someone else's feelings. Thus, I avoid anyone who isn't a lesbian but everyone has different priorities. You can't just say they ought to care about misogyny more.

No. 273501

>>273270
The latter, it's a cool place. Just make sure you apply for the "old" discord, the new one has gone to the shitter with zoomer drama

No. 273502

>>273496
It's not really about whether homophobia or misogyny is worse. Just that an opposite sex attracted gender conforming woman isn't going to be able to relate to my experiences and is way more likely to just tell me to try to pass as straight if I don't want to experience lesbophobia. I don't say "yes all bihets", it's just a matter of probability. It's also really situational. Most women around me are conservative, religious and do experience a massive dose of misogyny, but they also dish it out a lot, with a massive helping of lesbophobia. So sometimes I'm happy to find a feminine gay man just to have that feeling of someone who gets it, because finding other lesbians is difficult, never mind gnc ones who know what it's like to not be able to pass as straight. When visiting progressive areas and the community, gc gay men have stood out from crowds of TRA handmaidens. Yeah, they can be hypersexual, but the weird shit they do between each other is none of my business anyway.

No. 273509

new thread!
>>273508

No. 273510

LOCKING IMMINENT

Thread has exceeded 1200 posts and is about to be locked! Please create a new thread and post a link to it.

No. 273514

>>273497
These days lgbt is about everyone but gays-homosexuals, i mean, not ‘bi’ women who call themselves so gay whilst juggling their nigel’s balls in their mouth. It’s nonbinaries, trans, aces, and barely any lesbians. I mean i can’t talk, i wasn’t alive to see the early lesbian scene, but it sounds like they went through a lot, so i have a lot of admiration for them. i hope to be brave, a good networker, and skilled with my hands so i can carry on their legacy.
>tfw we have yet to make another michfest

No. 281837

>>247470
I love zendaya and have a major crush on her but yh she is not butch at all. Also has anyone noticed the weird anti-masculine thing going on online. You would think people who are woke would know that women who openly defy gender roles especially with dress are gonna get more flak.



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