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Please keep posts focused on women and female homosexuality! If you want to talk about attraction toward males it probably belongs in the bisexuality thread or questioning thread (check the catalog, they're usually not on the front page but I promise they exist!). Please ignore obvious bihet/troon/tradthot/fujo/etc rage bait as well. Remember that when we take the bait and infight the trannies win! Newfags pls lurk and read the site rules before posting, and be careful to stay safe and anonymous (use a VPN, incognito mode, and be very cautious about the personal details you include in your posts).
Topics of discussion may include but are not limited to:>first crush?>what’s your local lesbian scene like?>cute stories about your gf>favourite lesbian media? lesbian media you hate?>coming out stories>are there any cows you’d uhaul with?>bitch about being lonely>tips for coping with being lonely>butch? femme? how do you feel about labels?>top? bottom? how do you feel about those labels?>what's your type?>when did you know you were gay?>f/f fanfic and book recs (pls)>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? which ones don’t fit you at all?>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?>what do you wanna be like as an old lady lesbian? >get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etc>best date/match? worst?>how homophobic are your family/friends? is it woke homophobia or oldschool homophobia?>dating app horror stories>everything we hate about every other online lesbian community>lesbian friends, role models, or family members you appreciate>lesbian history, literature, and politics
I started dating a girl a few weeks ago. Last night out of nowhere she brings up TERFs and how much she hates them.
Anyone ever deal with this before? She was sympathetic to my views on trans women in women's sports so I was surprised to hear this.
It's not something I'd break up over but it is bothering me a little bit.
Does she even know what "terfs" actually believe, or does she just think they're a bogeyman like most terf
-haters do? I find many terf
-haters don't realize they themselves are actually cryptoterfs.
If she thinks transwomen aren't interchangeable with women in practical scenarios like sports, she's a terf
in most troons' eyes.
>be zoomer lesbian (18)>the only homogay i know bruv>i guess i should join a group to network with the other homogirls?>ooh cool sports groups and hobby groups across bongland>all the women are like 27+, many middle aged>groups established before i was born
every single social/hobby group for lesbians has older women. None my age. I feel like if i joined any I’d just be this awkward chubby faced, gangly teenager trying to relate to confident and interesting grown women. I don’t think there are any lesbian spaces irl with girls my age. So i don’t think i would be accepted by these groups, and i couldn’t connect with them. Do i just have to cope until I’m in my late twenties? Dayum. Does anyone else feel this way or know any spaces for young homogirls? Or is it going to be filled with void/voidself tiktokers?>>273659Nonnie
there have been women on this site who have accounts of peaking their friends and girlfriends. This isn’t a dead end, only a challenge. I believe in you, i mean we were all peaked once.
Your gen will possibly be retarded even when you reach 27+ because my gen never did buy into this bs and yours very much does. At the older circles you describe (which I belong to) nobody actually believes the tranny propaganda fully, some are unaware that theyre cryptoterfs as other anon said. Dunno, your gen seems way into coddling troons compared to mine.
Not sure how you're gonna cope unfortunately nona.
Those are lesbians overcompensating because even the label of "cis lesbian" is now a "terf
dogwhistle" so they have to go nonbinareeee and become super obnoxious about it lest they're accused of being "cryptoterfs". And they often are because as a woman and even more so as a lesbian in queer spaces you just can't win if some TIM wants you to lose. By merely intentionally misinterpreting her words or even entirely making shit up about her a TIM can turn the entire community against any woman he doesn't like faster than she can say "transmisogyny exempt". Must be sad always walking on eggshells, good thing it's not me kek
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>finally shave my head
>start dressing masc
>in the best shape i've ever been
>get the tattoos i've wanted for years but was to insecure to get due to my family telling me i would look too manly
>finally feel comfortable in my body for the first time in my life
>remember that god nerfed me by making me a womanlet
i know height shouldn't matter but i just want to look like a cool butch instead of a 12 year old boy! do any other gnc women itt struggle with their height not matching their perception of themselves? i feel like people talk (or at least think) about me the same way people in the celebrity thread talk about picrel (minus the troonery). kek this is my karma for making fun of manlets for so long
You just say some crypto stuff and see if she starts screeching TERF
RHETORIC. If she doesn't, she doesn't know enough about discourse to clock you, nor does she know enough about the batshit logic troons use to spread their ideas. That's a peakable, reasonable person. You start peppering conversations with more ideas and you'll find she agrees often. You then put a disclaimer saying "ofc this would get us rape threats if people knew we think this" and the wheels start turning. They start to get curious as to why their reasonable ideas would get them excommunicated from the community, that's when you start to hit them with more and more facts and lived experiences.
Speaking the truth will eventually get you to a place where you can say whatever the hell you want, as long as you've done so with a sense of compassion and vulnerability. Basically, re-run your own peaking but slower. >>273790
I'm GNC and short but I've gotten nothing but positive attention from women tbh. You just need to get comfortable with more nuanced power dynamics, if you are a dominant person then you just are. You embody that regardless of height, especially as a woman. Men have like no sense of self, they just always look dumb if they're short. Women have range. Just because you're masc also doesn't mean you have to be domineering, it's not always the most obvious answer that ends up being the most natural. My advice is to occupy your own body and embody what comes easily. You don't have to be a tall daddy butch stereotype to be butch.
I've never viewed a woman as less butch or attractive based on height. Imo it's the same as manlets, if you're insecure and weird about it it's unattractive but if you're confident and don't develop a complex about it won't matter. In my area at least almost every butch woman I've met has been shorter than me and still extremely hot and masc
Don't let it bother you.
I'm Butch and very masc to the point of getting "sir'd" at times and I'm all of 5'3. Muscular but smallish frame. It depends on how you fill out the space you occupy. You're you, you're the height you are, it is what it is.
Relax, don't be meek, but don't take up space like a scrote either. You just have to get your energy together.
My girl is 5'7, athletic, and got about 45lbs on me. She's much bigger than I am but our dynamic is still what it is. I'm physically stronger than her but we play by ear. Depsite being smaller, she likes me to dominate her and I do not feel like any kind of -let when I do it lol.
I'm proud of your progress. Work on the confidence next. I believe in you, nonna.
There's a butch thread in here somewhere. Stop on by.
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Nonnies why am I so retarded at flirting with girls? I keep seeing this girl I think is cute but we never say more than 2 words to each other but we always give each other this look like we both want to talk more but neither of us are going for it. Admittedly maybe I'm not automatically clockable as gay so maybe she's questioning her shot with me? I see her a lot in the store I go to but I don't want to bother her while she's at work. I've only ever been flirted with by scrotes which I was never receptive to it so I don't know how to act when someone I potentially can like does it back to me.
I wouldn't try flirting too much whilst she's at work since it can become pretty awkward since it's not like she can just leave if you made her uncomfortable (although from what you've said that doesn't sound like the case imho). You could always leave her a simple message + your number on a receipt or something and see what happens. The worst that can happen is her not getting back to you! Though if you do that, make sure she knows its from you in one way or another - I wrote my crush a note and she ended up thinking it was from a moid
friend of mine and they started dating shortly after. Needless to say I was suuuper bummed.
Yeah just try dating apps nonnie
. I get pestered by the poly/"ethically non-monogamous" women all the time and I'm not even looking for that. This is especially true if you're on like tinder which is known as a hook-up app more than for relationships
From what little I've seen, I'm happy if it makes someone else happy but I dip when it's obvious the relationship doesn't interest me.
I watched She-ra a while back because I heard it had good women representation but came out disappointed with the shipping. The only pairing I wanted to read fan-fiction about was Entrapta x Hordak despite the large Female cast. A similar thing happened when I watched Steven Universe though that's because of a lot of reasons. It makes sense knowing Rebecca Sugar married a man and Noelle Stevenson's troubled sex life that the lesbian couples they create aren't free from moid influence or if they are, they're not very compelling.
Either that or I should just watch/read lesbian media for adults already.
Thanks for the reply nonnie
. Yeah I agree, I think I'm just really bitter because I've been waiting for good representation for awhile now and there always seems to be moids involved in every homosexual relationship. I think I watched up until season 2 of she-ra and stopped because I was annoyed with all the groveling that Noelle was doing for twitter. I didn't expect Entrapta x Hordak to be a thing that's funny. Yeah! The western media thread has had some great commentary on all these shows.
I have forgotten about books, there have been some decent ones I've read before. Not fiction but I really enjoyed reading Surpassing the Love of Men: Romantic Friendship and Love Between Women from the Renaissance to the Present when I was in college. I should try and reread it.
Oh that also reminds me of If These Walls Could Talk 2 and Chloe Sevigny's character. The commentary on butch/femme dynamic seems as current as ever lol.
Ohh yeah that's true (Naomi fucked up so many times lol). I also somewhat liked the Jasper and Lapis from SU relationship since it showed an abusive
relationship kind of well imo. That reminds me of another British show, Switch (2012), where one of the main characters is a lesbian. That one was pretty fun to watch.
Yeah, when I was younger it made me disappointed because I was so hopeful but now I'm not. I realized that most media is made by nepo-babies or dorky moids writing out their self-insert fantasies. That's true, I had to google Heartstopper I can't even get into anything teen related because I'm an old fart now.
Jasper x any gem were the most compelling lesbian dyanmics to come out of SU. It's very ugly in fan-fiction, the abuse hits a spot that keeps the content engaging. But even when SU was at its prime of popularity, any x Jasper was either too much for the 10 year old fans or too risque for the genderspecial teens/adults.
It's a damn shame. It was because most young girls didn't believe a lesbian relationship could be abusive
, lesbians were perceived as "too abuse" so the ship shouldn't be seen as to not create more of that in media or something, that women couldn't love in that way while men could in their fanfics, that abuse in it of itself shouldn't be seen…
I don't find cartoon characters titillating but the lack of acceptance in the fandom circa 2015 didn't help the general perspective of what the "lesbian space rock show" was capable of being to young girls who watched it on tv. And that plays a part as to why more nuanced lesbian things are so foreign to gen Z, they weren't exposed to anything since that's far too much for children's programming and is in no news stories. The last I saw of that was some 90s shows with carpet-muncher jokes.
Maybe we'd have less clueless genderspecial women if SU was created for teenagers instead and the mayor guy called them his favorite dykes one time or something.
Yeah I completely agree and I can understand that too. We hardly get any lesbian/lesbian couples without some moid being like yeah lesbians abuse just as much as men do! Rebecca Sugar really did write the realities of abuse pretty well. I think even straight relationships haven't been that nuanced. Like the whole abused partner becoming the abuser (but they aren't the abuser they're just fighting back/ trying to create boundaries). It's a shame I think most of us have had abusive
relationships and it would be nice to have some media to warn other babygays to not put up with it.
Yes! I totally agree with that. Now that I'm getting older I lowkey understand the whole generations bickering amongst one another (even though it's stupid). They for one don't know what it was like to live in a world that was still unabashedly homophobic. Things have changed so fast in the past 20 years and they assume that life has always been this way.
I remember that show Sugar Rush and how it was a whole series of the lesbian character pining after her straight friend. You know what that's just like that MTV show Faking It. So many porny/destructive relationships. It might not be the lesbian death trope but it's close enough for me.
I remember being introduced to the L word because my grandpa was watching the series sound fullblast in the living room.
My ex forced me to watch it with her same as Queer as Folk ommmggggg I was so upset when one of the only lesbians characters had an affair with a man.
I remember how male gazey they made the trailers for Jennifers Body but how the message of the story was a lot better than that? I need to watch it.
Remember when Marnie was there that ghibli movie everyone on tumblr thought it was a lesbian romance kek and it turned out being her grandma/mom.
Lmaoooooooooo (o) did you watch the L word with grandpa? Idk why that’s so funny to me. Like i thought old men were supposed to watch westerns or something
I loved when marnie was there because it’s so easy to perceive as a lesbian movie until the last twenty odd minutes. Anna is very relatable, i always grew up thinking i was weird and didn’t deserve love, cut myself off. It resonates with lots of lesbos i believe. We’re outsiders is at least one way
Nooooo when you said that I feel like a hidden memory was unearthed.>In the last episode of series 4, Naomi reveals that she fell in love with Emily when they were younger, but was afraid of>Emily's effect on her, so she slept with boys to try to get rid of her feelings for Emily. Much of the third series is about>Naomi dealing with her feelings for Emily and questioning her sexuality.
Now I get why bisexuals get upset when you criticize lesbian relationship in media. Because all this media is created for them and moids. Although some characters may have been latebloomers….. Literally almost every fucking relationship involves a man in media. Media may portray a homosexual relationship but it usually is always comprised of a bisexual and a lesbian. I should make like a lesbian media bingo card lol.>>274738
Yeah right lmao. My sister tried watching Mad Men with him and he kept muttering "those bitches" under his breath whenever a female actress came on.
Yeah for real, and with Up on Poppy Hill that was two questionable anime right there. It was a cute movie overall I remember balling my eyes out to the ending.
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i downloaded a couple lesbian dating apps, and more than half the girls on there were they/thems or he/theys. only time you'd see a she/hers were TIMs and white women who looked like they were looking for unicorns. its even worse for butch women, almost all of them claim to be nonbinary or gender queer or whatever. my hope to find a butch/gnc gf has decreased greatly.
I'd give anything to have a girlfriend who thinks I'm cute, smart, and funny and tells me often. I love giving and receiving compliments, encouragement, reassurances, etc., so I'm very kind and supportive to everyone in my life, not just romantic partners. It comes naturally to me and people seem to really appreciate it. But I guess somehow I choose poorly and have always ended up with exes who hated me and insulted me even while we were dating… So now I'm laying here crying imagining what it'd be like to have an actually healthy relationship with a woman who loves me and wants to make me happy and will gladly say nice things to me, authentically and unprompted. I don't think I'm unlikeable or unworthy. I know I have a lot to offer, and I'm sure one day, hopefully, maybe, someone could love me like that. It just feels so far away that I can't help but feel sad.
What the actual fuck perused the butch thread and it's just bi's larping as butches and telling each other they can call each other butches and nonnies posting he/him nonbinary women saying their butches.>>274754Nonnie
When I watched Law and Order SVU there was a character that got abused several times and she had a talk with olivia asking her why does this happen to me? Do I have a target on my back and these things will always happen to me? And Olivia said no these situations can happen to anyone anytime you just need to watch your back and be prepared. The same thing used to happen with me with creeps pushing my boundaries because I'm short. I thought it was going to be my way of life until I realized that this sort of thing can happen to anyone and you just need to stand up for yourself and call creeps out.
I think the same goes for getting into bad relationships. You got to look for the red flags and have the self love to cut shit off when it starts to get bad. When you're desperate for love the sharks can smell it. Love yourself more and cultivate the perfect relationship with yourself where you enjoy your life so much you get the mindset that I love my life so much does this person deserve to be in my life? Do they add to my life? and if not you can cut them out. And the more you put yourself out there and meet more people the closer you get to finding the one.
Yeah I thought that thread must be so pointless, especially when /lg/ already serves us all… and then I realized that's
Hey ladies asking again as i will clarify we’re both obvs female but is it ok to date a 25 year old at 18? I heard age gaps were common in lesbian relationships but i think i would prefer someone my age.>>274851
I loved kickboxing, wears me out and tested me a lot. You two could spar together, it would be cool to be a badass couple. >>274745
Wtf that’s so creepy what did ‘those bitches’ ever do to him? And yeah that movie…it will have that effect on you lol…i was literally curled in a ball
I'm 21 and I can tell you that it won't work out. Even I'm extremely immature at times but especially with the pandemic a lot of kids missed out on 2 years of emotional growth and experiences.
I thought at 18, I wanted to go out with a guy friend (24) but even then, we were so different emotionally maturity wise with experiences. Your best bet would be 21.5ish-23 if you wanted a younger partner that you could relate to and things would work. Also remember many 18/19s want to party and go out- which you've probably passed already and done. Hence maturity/experiences. Good luck nona, you can still be friends!
I'm a 30something lesbian who just doesn't care about infighting in a thread. Categorically that is trolling. I've said many times that butch is a lesbian-exclusive label but there is zero point
to debating bisexuals about it in a dumb ass thread. Sit down.>>274857
I would not date an 18 year old at 25, but that is just me. It's easy as fuck to manipulate people who haven't hit their late 20s, don't want that kinda power over anybody. My peers get me better anyway.
We wrestle and I beat her so easily, it's crazy how much it turns her on
. I'd like to do kickboxing a lot actually but not sure she'd be down to learn it. I'm bringing this up for sure!
You were the one that started the "debate" by asking that stupid question on a supposedly lesbian board. Then you come over here to comment about it even though you're above "infighting" and you tell me to drop it? Make it make sense.
Sage your shit.
So it’s weird for her to like me? I know when some people i vaguely knew knew my orientation this older couple were really weird about it, mostly the guy in his 40s but his gf was in on it too, like because of age i am to be manipulated and because of orientation i am supposed to be their amusement. It leaves such a bad taste that some people are like that and so i am more wary of being manipulated. Ik it’s random it just gets me down.
Again good luck with your kickboxing hopefully she can rival you soon kek
>>274883>supposedly lesbian board
where did you get the idea that lolcow is a lesbian board
are you a goldstar btw
What question? I didn't ask anything relating to that thread lol. I also don't have to sage because I made a post that was on-topic, if you'd just read what I wrote after responding to you. As I'm about to do here as well, I can bump if it's on-topic stuff, this ain't a cow board like /snow/ or /pt/.>>274887
Age gaps are pretty common unfortunately. Some people think that they could never hurt someone and think "Well I'm childish so it's ok to be with a less mature younger person" but like, they still manipulate regardless if they're not in control of their emotions. Just because they aren't aware of what kinda bs they're pulling doesn't mean it's not happening. Imo avoid people like that, an "immature" person in the late 20s and beyond are red flags.
that’s pretty exciting!
You sound like a newfag>board
It's called a thread>Sage your shit.
You do not have to sage on non-cow boards
Age gaps are weirdest when one or both parties are under 25 imo. If it's like a 30 year old and a 40 year old, that's whatever because while they'll have different generational backgrounds around pop culture refs and stuff, there's less of a gap in maturity and life stages.>>274887
Yeah, it's definitely weird for a 25 year old to pursue an 18 year old. Even if she's attracted to you she should be shutting that down.
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>Friend from college who I started talking to again because I have a crush on her and want to meet up with her says she likes fucking straight men despite being gay
>Woman I matched with a few months ago who agreed to go on a date with me only to never try and set anything up or tell me when she's available gets a gf, for some reason her post shows up on instagram even though I don't follow her
>See a bunch of "happy birthday" tweets from my twitter mutuals directed at the person my ex cheated on me with because they're friends with her
Tonight fucking sucks. All the gay women around me are musty bihets with boyfriends or femmes with no personality, when the hell am I gonna get to munch some masc/andro vagina? I don't want the big sexual highlight of this year to be making out with a girl at a lesbian bar during pride. I paid good money for my strap and I haven't used it in YEARS. Circumstance is a bitch and everything else seems to drive it in further.
He knows its because hes a troon, they all know. He cant prove it, let him seethe. >>275177
damn thats a tragic amount of stuff to go wrong nonna. dating is a minefield but keep at it if you wanna find someone that suits you.
Oh I'm gonna try to keep at it, it's just easy to get discouraged when most people are either insane or boring. I live and study in a rural area so finding actual lesbians is impossible. The only girl who had any interest in me on my campus was a pansexual enbee and I'm 99% sure it was because I gave her positive platonic attention, she dated around a LOT.
I think I'm more upset about my friend than anything. I clocked her as gay the day I met her and when she told me she was gay I think I helped her a bit with coming to terms with it since I'm pretty open about my sexuality. I feel like the "fucking straight men" thing is a cope for growing up in a middle eastern house where you're told you're going to hell for not fucking scrotes. Still stings a bit to hear though, and I still want to take her to a gay/lesbian bar. I think some female attention would do her some good and make her realize men are unnecessary.
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Welp, nonas were right. I spent so many days on here getting advice on a million things and defending her but my gf is bi. She "can't love men" but can get off to their bodies and I've seen her notice them right in front of me before. Everything about her that I noticed and pointed out to her, that she kept telling me I'm imagining… It's all true. She loves me too much which is why she couldn't own up to it yada yada. She chose to take my choice away from the start, she knew I didn't want to date a bisexual, regardless of where she is on the Kinsey scale. It was my one deal breaker besides gender stuff. I'm such an idiot. All the times she pretended to understand me as a lesbian or the times that she kept "worrying" I might be bi because I grew up in a shithole country where I had no idea what a lesbian was just her fucking projecting and pretending. She even convinced me to go to the dyke march together, my first one, and it's all tainted.
I'm already in love and my ability to make the right decision for myself has all but evaporated. She has made me feel like I'm insane or paranoid so many times and I was right every time.
She wrote me a novel about her experiences and she's had very few partners plus her first was a male groomer she met at 14 who was her only sexual experience for a long time, etc. My brain is back to making excuses for her, trying to see if she was just conditioned or self harmed but no. I need to stop burying my head in the sand now that she's done shoving my head down into it. She's only dated one male so who is to say there won't be one who's actually nice to her that she won't love? I hate that she simply chose to live under the identity that I've fought for decades to embrace. She just chose to wear it, and then made me feel like a psycho when I noticed things that don't add up.
I still want to psychoanalyze and say she had a bad crossing of pavlovian wires due to her early trauma because she only liked girls before and since this dude but no. She's just bi. I need to stop.
Anon is her only bf the one who groomed her? I'd say I'm bi myself but I can't have relationships with men, I did try(cause I'm in a Muslim country and it'd obviously be easier to date a man) and I didn't feel anything emotionally towards them. I can tell if a man is attractive but I can't connect with them emotionally or really imagine dating one in the long term so I just gave up. I use bi generously here, I haven't done anything further than holding hands with a man and don't really intend to go further with any man ever.
I've also dated and had flirts with women(some of which were bi and had no issue telling me about the men they'd fuck, ew) so I understand your concerns but if your gf really was groomed she could be a confused lesbian or bisexual with no intentions to date a man. You should discuss this openly with her and try not to be judgemental. I know she deceived you and you can obviously break up with her over that but a woman who has been victimized by a man in her formative years will have a skewed view on her sexuality, it may go as far as her unknowingly ignoring her attraction to men as it reminds her of those bad experiences.
She says she's never dating one but she's dated like 4 people in her life. You can't know that kinda stuff with barely any exerience, especially in a muddy situation like hers.
Her knowing I would not even consent to sex with a bisexual, and still lying to me means our months of relationship has been noncon. I'm grappling with the profound cruelty it takes to deceive someone just to get the pussy you want out of them. Do you understand where I'm coming from? I'm not here to validate anybody's sexuality or attractiveness. I'm a human being with a will of her own, a body that she should get to choose the destiny of. She knew how I feel about all this, she did it anyway.
>a woman who has been victimized by a man in her formative years will have a skewed view on her sexuality, it may go as far as her unknowingly ignoring her attraction to men as it reminds her of those bad experiences.
I get it and I sympathize, I do. But I was taken advantage of. I also resent that she spent so long hating bisexuals and women who figured out their bisexuality later on in life when she's only using the lesbian label to "avoid making men think she's available to them". Bro just say queer or reject them? Imagine being such a coward that you wear someone else's identity for the convenience. Pathetic.
Samefag as the last reply but you should also note a lot of bi women feel more intensely towards other women - they just choose to be with men as it's simply easier and more acceptable. She deceived you and in the end this is up to your judgment but I feel like you need to talk this out so you can unwind and stop trying to fix her issues for her. After having an open discussion, if it still bothers you, do break up.
As I said I also had very unsettling experiences with some bi women where I always felt like I needed to compete with men to win them over and deep down I knew that was a lost cause as they always chose the more convenient option.
Anon as I said, she did deceive you and you can break up with her just for that reason alone. Though she genuinely might have confused her attraction as something everyone feels as she probably didn't want to actively date any of those men like she thought a woman attracted to them would. I rarely feel attraction towards men(been a fee years since I last did) so I too at first thought I was a lesbian. I still am not sure about labels and dislike queer so I simply go by bi as to not cause further misunderstandings or hurt anyone.
Again this is your call and it'd be reasonable to break up with her over this but I don't believe she hid her attraction to fuck you but rather because she was ashamed of the way she felt towards a group of people(men) who had already hurt her deeply. A lot of straight women think they're asexual after they get abused in such ways so in her case she might have also been in denial about her attraction because of the trauma.
In the end I don't know her, you do. That's why your choice will be the right one. You're clearly very distraught and I'd say you at least need to take a break even if you have trouble fully breaking things up.
We were about to move in together. I'm really heartbroken.
I'm tempted to post her novel with the names redacted just to get more input. I don't know what to make of this letter she wrote.
Fuck it.There's something I've been hiding because I was afraid you wouldn't understand and wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore if I tried to explain. You had said in the past that if I were bi you would still be my friend. I'm terrified that you'll label me as a bisexual if that means I won't get to be with you. You're the only one I want to be with, but lying and hiding something from you feels like shit, too. Especially now that you've been open with me. I can only hope you'll attempt to understand my specific way of being and forgive me.
As you know, I went from identifying as bisexual to identifying as lesbian. Here's why.
I can't reliably develop feelings for men. For my entire life, I never developed a proper crush on a boy. Sometimes, my male friends would like me, and I tried to like them back but I just couldn't make myself feel for them. Meanwhile, I had uncontrollably strong feelings for my female friends. Sometimes, a dude would catch my eye, but I feel like it was because I wanted to be like him. I wouldn't feel jealous if he liked someone else. It wasn't the same, with one exception: my one male ex. I definitely wanted to be like him when I was young. I dug his style. I did not know him irl, so maybe it was easier to convince myself that I liked him romantically. No one had ever returned my attention before at the tender young age of 14, so I was excited when the 17 year old noticed me and decided to DM me. The way he spoke to me then was extremely sexual and it definitely felt strange because I hadn't been thinking sexual thoughts about him/us. It was strange and new. He asked me to rate him on a scale of 1-10 and I'd said 10, and then he proceeded to rate me an 8.5. That felt really degrading. But, I didn't know better. He continued to give me sexual attention sometimes, as he would for many women, and I ate it up because for the first time in my life, someone wanted me that I "liked" back. I don't remember the timeline perfect, but when I was about 16, about to turn 17, we started dating online. Being objectified felt weird but I think I established an emotional connection. Ish. But I also think that looking back (especially on that old livejournal I showed you), he provided me with validation and I thought that was the only way I could be loved, because with women I was still a total incel. Sometimes, [childhood crush] would cuddle me or do something flirty and I definitely had a very strong physical reaction to just that. Turns out she probably was attracted to me, she just thought I didn't like her because I was too shy. I had been obsessed with her for like 5 years. Anyway, I digress. I think I was drawn to this man in part because I admired him, in part because we became friends and started getting each other jokes and could discuss the same media etc., because he validated me and because it was my only way to experience sex. I lost my virginity to him when I was 19, and though the experience was very much centered around him and his pleasure and not at all on getting me off, I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the sensations at the time. I still disliked blowjobs and secretly thought cum was disgusting. We continued the LDR for a few years and it wasn't healthy. I let him get away with treating me very poorly because I didn't know better, I didn't have anything else. It's not like women would like me. Finally, I had developed feelings for a man. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be capable of developing feelings for another man after him, and I was correct. He would cheat by talking to random women online sexually, constantly. Didn't feel guilty enough to tell me. I found out by snooping. I was apparently addicted to being uncomfortable and suspecting things. I would act out and he would treat me like I was the only problem in our relationship, like only I needed to change. He told me I should write in a personal journal for my mental health, one that I don't show to anyone. I did. At my place, he secretly checked my browser and then snooped on the journal, then proceeded to get upset at finding my grievances about him. I felt violated. I swore off snooping after that and never did it to anyone else again.
I wasn't happy in that relationship anymore but I didn't know how to end it. I developed a crush on a female internet friend that I knew I wasn't physically attracted to (I'm sorry, but she was the most homely young woman imaginable) because she gave me attention, made me laugh, and I liked her voice. She said she liked me back, which is the first time a woman ever did. I left him for her with no remorse. I realized that even being with this woman that I didn't even want to touch felt better to me than being with him. I started reading yuri and realized that it excited me more than any het thing I'd seen. It felt right. If women could like me back, I saw no reason to Id as bi anymore. I only wanted to be with women. When I met that girl in real life, she was in a dissociative state most of the time, and I didn't know how to communicate with her very well. I was honestly afraid of her. It became quickly apparent that I didn't actually have a connection with her either, and it was mutual so we had a friendly breakup and stopped talking much, though we are still casual internet friends. He now identifies as a non-binary transmasculine person (he/him)
I hadn't given up the lesbian identity. I just became determined to find a woman I was actually fully attracted to, that would be attracted to me too. Now that I was aware of yuri and all the other young women who were into it, I knew it was possible. I met [transmasc] through that community and finally had a relationship that just felt healthy and right. It felt incredibly different from the het relationship. I wasn't going to go back after experiencing that. When she broke up with me after a year and a half, that was my first time being a dumpee so I took it really badly, really immaturely. Just went totally batshit, wanted to die, etc. I had that moment of weakness with [male friend who she has assured me doesn’t want her, but totally does as things came out later] then, but it felt so so wrong. He wanted to talk about holding hands and be vulnerable and that didn't interest me at all. Even the sex talk just felt unappealing to me. I was unhealthily trying to find any way to feel better after that breakup. Luckily, he didn't take it too hard that I decided I didn't want that anymore, but also I feel it was shitty of him to try and get things from me while I was in such a vulnerable, heartbroken, insane state.
In the years that followed I got no action aside from the fling with [woman she was obsessed with basically right before we met, a matter of a couple months]. I wasnt really desperate enough to go searching. I wanted to ensure that I tried my best to just get her. When I met her here, I swore off of long distance relationships. Decided I'd rather be single than do that again. Decided I'd rather be single than ever settle again.
I got to know myself quite well sexually. Here's what I learned:
- I can generally look at porn as a spectator, not inserting myself, and get off to it. If something sexual is happening, my pussy responds to it. Even if it's men.
- However, I have no desire to be involved with a man, I don't feel attached to them now that I'm not a teenager craving validation from wherever possible. I could feel turned on by the idea of a man's faceless body (while also feeling that parts of it are disgusting), but when I imagine actually being physically involved with a man, the feeling is adjacent to dysphoria. It feels wrong, it feels anxious, it feels very "this is not where I belong." I had the opportunity to casually experiment with [same guy friend from before] in person or get laid just to get laid, but that didn't appeal to me at all. For about 4-5 years I've been firmly in this headspace of "I'd prefer to be with a woman I genuinely love, and if that's not possible I will be completely single and not have sex."
- if I ever orgasmed from something that wasn't focused on a woman I had feelings for, the orgasm felt incomplete. It felt as though some of the feel-good chemicals that usually are released during orgasm were not released. It felt soulless, empty and ultimately unsatisfying. I had to follow it up by masturbating to the idea of myself with a woman i had feelings for. That would always produce a satisfying orgasm. I could be done after that.
When I fell for you, I heard how much you hated porn, and stopped using it. It wasn't fulfilling anyway. I just looked at you, thought about you. You are everything I seek in a partner. You're the ideal for me. I don't need anything, or anyone else. Don't think for a second that I'm settling for you. I kept this from you because I was terrified of losing you specifically. You're someone that's capable of satisfying all of my needs. You're exactly the type of person I could marry and give my attention to exclusively, for the rest of my life, happily.
I never went back to the bi label because it implies that I would be interested in dating or having sex with a man, and I feel that that would be misleading of me. I'm only interested in connecting with women. Women with pussies. Those are the only people I feel such a deep attachment to, and I don't feel at all disgusted by their bodies. Lesbian is the only label that communicates that to people without having to go through all the nuances of my sexuality.
Do you agree that lesbian is the most accurate label for me? Can you forgive me for hiding until now? I hope so.
I do feel similarly to her - though I've obviously not done stuff with men or dated them for more than a few days/weeks - so I'd guess she's a bi woman who chooses to date women, she's not a lesbian and will never be one. You can't identify as a label just because you feel like it, this isn't a kinsey scale situation youre either gay straight or bi.
This is your choice and if you think it's worth the risk of her finding a man who she assumes loves her the way she wants(will never happen btw men don't love like women do so it'd just be her getting tricked), you can keep dating her. If not just break things off or take a break to think about this. She sounds very young and inexperienced although she has had a few relationships it seems like she just ended up in them by coincidence, she also doesn't sound mentally stable and neither do you because of how she played with your mind, this isn't a healthy relationship and it seems like she has several issues she unfortunately needs to get sorted before she dates anyone.
No one but you can make this choice, anon. She deceived you even though she loves you, if she is bi no matter how strong she loves you she will also feel attracted to men. That's just how she is.
Jesus Christ. That's a lot for her to dump on you at once, and so suddenly. I'm so sorry she lied to you all this time. If this is the sort of thing she can keep from you for months and months, deny again and again, and project onto you, then imagine what other psychosis she could put you through. Anon please cut your losses and run. You might love each other but this is seriously fucked up. You were up front with her from the start about never wanting to be with a bisexual, and instead of returning the favour and telling you right away about her past, she chose to mess with your head for months and then dump this guilt-trip sob story on you to excuse herself. It's up to you if you can ever forgive her, but I would advise you to get out of this relationship ASAP. Do not ever
settle for a liar.
She's 30, I'm 28.>>275408
Thank you for telling me this. I can't talk to anyone in my life about this situation except you nonas so I'm deeply appreciative of any advice at all.
I didn't know her to be a cruel or conniving person but rather someone who's very afraid of consequences and manipulates situations because of that. She had a pretty shitty early life with parents whose affection was extremely conditional which probably contributed to why she's so insecure. Still, I don't think the way she was okay with messing with me can be excused.
I understand you empathise with bisexual women because you are one yourself and therefore don't even belong in this thread
but for the love of God please stop making excuses for OP's girlfriend. I don't care how insecure you all are about your attraction to men. There is absolutely no reason to defend her when OP explicitly said she did not want to be with a bisexual EVER and she flagrantly ignored and overstepped this boundary. She even had the audacity to accuse OP of her own crimes, only to "come clean" in the most whiny and self-flagellating manner possible. It's disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself for trying to defend her in the lesbian thread of all places. OP came here for support, not more gaslighting and guilt tripping. Kindly GTFO
>>275410>I didn't know her to be a cruel or conniving person but rather someone who's very afraid of consequences and manipulates situations because of that.
My ex was like this as well, and she was absolute hell to live with. It got to a point where she was lying to me about every little thing and trying to pretend otherwise, even in situations where I wouldn't have been upset with her. Anyways, It's good that you have some insight into her behaviour so you can understand, to a certain extent, where she's coming from.
Still I agree that there's no excuse for her behaviour. It was not okay. She disregarded your very clear boundary and is likely to do it again. Have you responded to her letter yet? I know you said you were about to move in together; is it possible to halt these plans and stay where you are, or temporarily live with someone else?>>275416
This thread is for exclusively same sex attracted women. If OP wanted to hear from bisexuals then she would have gone to your musty little corner in the first place.
>>275418>musty little corner
Unfortunately I'm completely in love so I don't know how to break it off. I wanted to marry her and I know she's going to do this shit again and again until there's nothing left of me but I can see myself walking into that just like I walked into this thing. I saw this "twist" coming, I'm not blind. I didn't end it then, how do I end it now?
Also why are you so mad when I was just trying to understand OP's situation better? Op could've told me to go away if I made her uncomfortable but she didn't so I thought it was ok to give my input about her issues with a bi woman
as a bi woman
myself, I don't understand why you came with your retarded twitter "you all" butthurt reply when I was just trying to explain to her how her gf would always be bi no matter what but there are reasons why she could've had issues coming to terms with it?
Also you're fucking disgusting. A woman who got groomed isn't having a hard time accepting she's bi because of insecurity, it's because it reminds her of her past experiences. Yet it's true that still doesn't give her the right to deceive anon or emotionally dump her issues onto her like she's her therapist. Like honestly, calm down and check your words before you accuse a victim
of grooming of being insecure of their sexuality just because you are.
It's so so difficult to leave the ones we love, even when they hurt us (maybe even especially so). It's terrible to see the life you wanted and were working towards suddenly fall apart like this… What helped me get away was realising it was all a sham from the start. It was never going to work. This dream was built on false pretences. Because she lied to you. She lied again and again, gleefully, without being forced, simply because it benefitted her. Nobody held her at gunpoint and forced her to say she's lesbian. She did that willingly, not caring about the consequences it would have for you or the relationship. Someone with such callous disregard for you does not deserve to be in your life.
Basically you just have to be brave. Just long enough to tell her it's over, make the arrangements to really end it (i.e. if she owes you a large amount of money or if you have contractual obligations together, etc. Otherwise imo it's really not worth it and you should just ghost/dump via text), and then cut contact forever. Make a list of reasons why you need to leave and reasons why you need to stay away. And if you can, get the support of friends and family who can back you up. You don't need to give them all the details, either, just let them know it's not going to work out and you need to lean on them for a bit. I believe in you. You can do what's right for you.
She's obviously still got her own issues from what she wrote to you and those issues will drain all of your energy as time goes on. Please don't let others use you like this emotionally, don't get into relationships with people who are clearly unstable. I don't know the extent of her lies but she obviously has unresolved trauma which will be much worse when it resurfaces. You should ideally take a break at least and think about it once you've cooled down a bit. You might love her but she tried to date men time and time again even though they ended up in failures, how can you be sure it won't happen again? Have you actually talked about this face to face?>>275418
Get help. A simple discourse on an imageboard shouldn't drive someone to be this upset. I've seen "lesbian" anons in lesbian threads discuss yaoi or other male media but they didn't get called out at all even though they were obviously not speaking about women. I guess it's ok to be attracted to men or anime boys long as you lie about being lesbian.
She dated one man at 14 for a few years LDR and then tried to sext her close friend once. Besides that, it's been crushes on women and a couple of girlfriends. Just wanna make sure I don't misrepresent her side of it.
But yes, ultimately it's very hard to find a reason to trust her. I'm not sure I'd have not fallen for her if she had just told me she's bi, I've always had an inkling but I kept telling myself I'm a shitty paranoid asshole. What fucks me up is that she felt okay hiding behind this excuse of "protecting me" or "loving me too much" when she made a very conscious choice at the very start to manipulate me.
She also just admitted via text that she did indeed check a man out right in front of me. I knew she did and I called it out at the time, she denied it. Ugh.
And at least 3 replies come to defend that anon and tell everyone anime boys or actors are totally different than irl men. Also you still didn't answer why you thought it was ok to call a grooming victim
insecure for having issues coming terms with her sexuality. I get that you hate bisexuals or something but you really shouldn't make assumptions about a woman who's clearly unwell just because some bi girl fucked you over. She did lie to anon and anon should dump her ass and cuss her out if that helps but that doesn't mean you, a total sttanger, get to freely mock a woman whos clearly been sexually abused. You're disgusting for that and I won't reply further. I sincerely hope you get better.
She doesn't deserve your trust. The fact that you feel raped is reason enough to break it off. >>275431
I fail to see how calling out OP's gf's bad behaviour and saying no one should defend her or try to rationalise her actions equates to "mocking a woman whos clearly been sexually abused" but go off I guess. I also sincerely hope you get better, Nona, especially with your reading comprehension.
>>275429>she did indeed check a man out right in front of me. I knew she did and I called it out at the time, she denied it
Wtf, ew. I am socially retarded and even I can see this is a red flag abort abort situation. If she has zero issues to so blatantly disrespect you, your boundaries and your relationship while you are standing right there
she is not over men like she claims to be. Tbh it looks more like she is using women to run away from sexual trauma but the moment she will meet a nigel that's "not like other men" it's game over for whatever little lesbian charade she's putting on.
She was never "loving you too much" if she was checking out men right in front of you, period
Thank you. I'm still reading her type text after text about how the guy was just model-looking and I was so much more interesting than him but she just glanced, etc etc. There are tons of beautiful women out there and I still don't check them out in front of her, it's really not hard. I wouldn't even be offended if she accidentally looked at women for a moment, to be honest. Just the lesbian charade while implying she's afraid I'm the bi one is what really got me. I get the psychology behind all that she's doing but holy shit, I just made a huge life decision to join my life with hers and she's still obfuscating. not sure I can get over the cowardice of it all.
I'll be actively pursuing more lesbian friends and slowly open myself up to someone else coming to my life at this point. I'll be too weak to let her go at least for a while but I don't respect her like I did before. I told her to just be the febfem that she clearly is. I won't out her to her friends or family but I'm definitely not going to see her the same ever again.
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Bihet as in a slur for bi, i'm being extra biphobic today sorry. I'm victimized on this particular day.
No they don't. Unless they're in a very religious country and get forced to marry a man to ensure their safety, they're bi for dating a man. I don't understand why you hate the idea of being bi so much yet excuse dating or in some cases having sex with men under the umbrella of lesbianism. If a woman dated a man or fucked a man, she's bi, no way around it (I'm not counting literal sexual abuse or rape ofc).
If she gets excited to the visuals of a man imagined or real, she's bi. If she wanted to date a man for romantic reasons even once, she's bi. More than half of you are bi by definition, most of you have even dated or had sexual relations with men. That's not being closeted - it's being bi and only associating with men before you realize you also like women.
Agree. For me I draw the line at any sustained romantic relationship with a man, especially one that that includes kissing/touching/consensual physical intimacy. I claimed to ""like"" a boy in my first grade class probably because he looked like a girl kek
just because I thought I was supposed to, but in the end barely interacted w him. Since then it was just moids hitting on me with zero success. The longest relationship I ever had with a guy was at 15 or 16, talking online for a few hours before ghosting because something felt wrong. All this interspersed with crushing on and dating other females, and my "boyfriends" were all FTM troons. I'm not saying it's easy to unlearn female socialisation, and it sucks to grow up in a world where your self worth correlates with male attention, but how hard is it to stay away from men? How do you ignore that awful feeling, ranging from an uncomfortable "oh no I simply cannot do this" to the red alarm screaming ABORT ABORT ESCAPE? …Unless you don't actually have it. If you're actually repulsed by men then you're not going to seek out, much less stay in relationships with them.
You're a lesbian, other anons are coping bis. It's ok to be bi but because they have such selfhate they'll always hold onto an alien identity and pretend to be lesbians while talking about the three men they fucked and the ten they dated. >>275647
If they weren't forced to marry they're also bi, retard. You're just bi if you fucked a guy. Real gay men and women don't fuck or fall in love with opposite sex. Stip thinking being bi is evil and embrace yourself.
Bitch you're fucking bi if you fucked multiple men. What's wrong with you? >>275669
In most of those weird relationships, the bi person does enjoy being with their partner sexually but also fucks samesex people on the side, not that different than a straight person cheating. There are exceptions where lesbian women or gay men could actually be forced to marry but that pretty much only happens in very conservative Muslim countries, none of the anons arguing are like that.
If you accept it it's not rape. I was actually raped and you fucking men and then claiming you're a lesbian so that's totally rape even if you seeked it out makes me ill.>>275696
I said it feels
like it. As in, something that is wrong and mechanical and violating. Idk who said it's literal rape, not me thpugh.
as long as you're aware of the huge diff between the two nonnie
it's good. rape needs an aggressor and explicit violation of non-consent. consenting to heterosexual sex is just self harm. >>275396
this example is actual rape, a flagrant violation of blinders nonnie
's non-consent and no different than if a moid removed a condom mid sex when protection was agreed to.
So funny how you fuck men without a shame but cry when someone tells you that's not how lesbians are. You know you're bi and that's why you get so triggered
at the mention of bi women.
If you really dated simply because your family pressured you, you surely wouldn't have done anything sexual with a man. Also it's so weird how you willingly fuck men and then accuse call it rape, you're literally disrespecting women who actually got raped just because you can't admit you like dick and seek it out. You can't willingly sleep with someone and call it rape be you're insecure of your attraction to men.
Comparing something you consented to to rape just because you can't admit you seek out cocks is literally so disrespectful to actual victims
. No matter how hard you try, you can't fool anyone into thinking it's rape when you serially date and fuck men.
Anything is rape when it's convenient for these women. That anons gf fucked men without consent(groomed at 14) but she's supposed to be a bi rapist but other anons whoring around with multiple men are valid
lesbians and the men they fucked were obviously at fault. They're calling anyone rapist like it's a light word. It not.
Isn't bihet a bi person who only has hetero relations? Even if not, it's not a slur and anon id retarded for that. >>275787
Those aren't late bloomers oh my god. You can't fuck and date men for years and say you're a lesbian after you start dating women, why can't you accept that it's bi? Why do you anons say you did lots of shit with men but you're still lesbians(lmao no) but then assume that other anons gf was bi solely because she got groomed by a man once? Why can't you also understand you're bi like you understand she is? >>275791
Telling someone they're bi if they willingly date and have consensual sex with men isn't trolling. Anon literally said she consented to straight sex but it was like rape. She also slept with men and accused anons gf of raping her because she kept that fact hidden yet that's exactly what she did herself. The overuse of rape and excusing their attraction and sexual relations with men means they're coping.
>>275814>Telling someone they're bi if they willingly date and have consensual sex with men isn't trolling.
The trolling is the constant, daily, obsessive shit-flinging you engage in, not the topic itself. Half the posts in this thread are infighting. You aren't "winning" or sticking up for yourself or whatever it is you think you're doing, you're giving trolls exactly what they want and destroying the threads. >>275791
Yep the early threads were pretty cozy. Less active but at least the posts were usually on-topic and not retarded. Some trannies noticed how effective the bi vs les discourse is at shutting down the thread and now here we are.
>>275864>female sexuality infighting general.
kek. Honestly they should just start taking it to the Questioning thread. This thread is not for discussion of males and attraction toward males, and that includes 24/7 REEEEEfests about the exact definition of "attraction toward males". Nonnas gotta stop letting men and bihets live rent-free in their heads.
Anyway I'm gonna be the change I wanna see in the world and post something that's not about men. >get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etc
We meet up to go out for lunch or something but the restaurant is closed so instead we get drive-thru and drive around and talk. We really hit it off and she tells me she's kinda happy our 'real' date fell through because she hates crowds and dealing with the public, I tell her I feel the same way and we bond over being hermits. The next time we meet up we just have a hermit date at my place. I cook for her and she meets my cat and loves him. We watch a movie and smoke a joint
and make out a little but we don't go further yet because we've both had bad experiences in the past and wanna take it slow. She is funny and kind and doesn't have pronouns.
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Anon from the last thread who couldn't tell if a hot woman with a buzzcut was gay or not: She's not. And ever since I mentioned an ex girlfriend off handedly she's been treating me oddly, like I'm incapable of controlling myself around hets and I'll maul her at any second.
Obviously women can dress and present themselves however they want but I wish there was still something to count on as an exclusively lesbian thing.
The most ironic thing is, the anon who said the bi girl raped OP for not telling op she's bi is probably bi herself. She said she slept with multiple men and it also was "rape"(used the exact same wording so it proves it's the same anon as before) because the men should've magically guessed she's a lesbian and totally not into it as she sucked them off. She also assumed the groomed girl was bi for getting groomed while admitting she willingly had sex with multiple men again and again. A lesbian could be groomed but a lesbian definitely wouldn't fuck multiple men willingly.
Op was lied to and should break up with her girlfriend but she wasn't raped. Neither was the bi girl in denial when she fucked men.
We were not broken up yet, I was just drunk and missed her. We talked a lot, cried a lot and yeah I did yall at her because she spent months telling me she thinks I'll turn out to be bi when she's the one who might be. I was in the right, so I said some really bad shit to her which she just took. I've since retracted what she didn't deserve to hear but some stuff she was absolutely so wrong on. In the end she never had anything with any male after that groomer and one night after being dumped be a woman where she tried to sext a male friend she knew liked her and hated it. I can't tell of shes kinsey 5 or just traumatized. I want to be there for her and see if we can make it work. She is not even a good liar, I secretly already noticed all the things she confessed to and saw this twist coming. I let it happen. The "gawking" at a guy in front of me is tough, but she wasn't staring and it wasn't a salacious look, I just saw that she noticed the man's above average looks. Is that me making excuses? Maybe!
She said she will never do this to a lesbian again but I couldn't convince her to explore and just figure her shit out. She said she hates the idea of herself interacting with a male and won't touch a dick. She has isolated instances of masturbating to lone men or men with other men but a het coupling seems like something she viscerally can't enjoy. Whether she is bi with trauma or a lesbian that got bad shit wired into her brain from years of grooming… idk. Does it matter? I deradicalized myself a bit on my fear of being left for a man. It has happened to me before with bi's and it'll hurt but I have a lot with her still.
>>276235>The "gawking" at a guy in front of me is tough, but she wasn't staring and it wasn't a salacious look, I just saw that she noticed the man's above average looks.
So she was just recognizing a man as an objectively attractive human being just like you did? Honestly anon I don't understand why you're making such a scene about your girlfriend being possibly bisexual because she was abused by men in the past or even if she legitimately is bi, who cares? It sounds more and more like she loved you and was concerned about your militant alignment against dating bisexuals which made her lie about being a full on lesbian just to not hurt your feelings. Agree with >>276251
, just break it up. You're not going to work out and you're going to resent her for being bi for all eternity.
I did not find him attractive but I was relaying what she said of him after the fact. And it's not just me, she was just as opposed to dating a bi as me due to past experiences herself. I do know it's an extreme stance but it's not like I'm the only one of us who is afraid that we will be compared to men and lose. It's happened to us both before, ofc we both have issues around that. >>276256
Totally fair. I don't have a good support network these days, not a gay one anyway so anyone I consult will look at me like I'm insane and while my biphobia is intense, it's not for no reason. Just been hurt and don't want to explain why being gay is difficult to my het family and friends. I have one lesbian friend and she has been much more nuanced, kind in her advice. the "was it rape" discourse was too much also, its in a noncon realm but its definitely not rape.
I actually came over here to write something like this because it bothered me. Sad that because people larp lesbians so much some online lesbians have this toxic
purity thing going on. I get it but it does sound so incel like. Both of them sound like this is their second or third relationship and OP gets jealous of past relationships when neither knew each other existed. Hopefully both of them can get help if this isn't a troll.>>276283
Agree, there's been someone new and pretty aggressive on here in all the lgb type threads.
it's like do they think that homophobia isn't an actual problem that affects people's behavior? or does it just happen when they find it suitable, like people believe social pressure can make a lesbian to go and fucking sterilize herself and cut her tits off just to be seen as heterosexual but that for some reason isn't a radical thing to do to your body because of homophobia but holding hands with a man would be absolutely impossible
and way too much >>275619
how can escorts go to dates with men they're not attracted to? how can prostitutes have sex with people they aren't attracted to? people always just do things they like? sexuality is either rape or uwu beautiful lovely thing every time with no complexity around it?
social pressure has absolutely no effect on anyone? why does bullying make people off themselves? why do women go and bleach their assholes?
like i get it you are paranoid and burnt up by all the nonsense about forcing dick and males at lesbians but some lesbian holding hands with a guy when she was 13 is not the reason for why that is happening like she's not about to make men rape you or some shit
Straight escorts who were mostly coerced into industry aren't the same as a bi girls with long histories of dating men who are pretending to be lesbian itt. So many bi women are pretending to be lesbians and then shaming bi women because they remind them of their fraudulent identity. This never happens irl so I'm tempted to believe the anons doing this are chronically online polilezzies who hate themselves for being attracted to men.
That anons gf was groomed which means her experience doesn't mean she's bi, though a lot of women itt admitted to dating and sleeping with men willingly. They're bi. There's no such thing as a latebloomer lesbian, you don't cut off your tits or start hormones, you don't fuck men because of lesbianism. Those surgeries are just stuff mentally ill women do regardless of sexuality.
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When a woman's topless but wearing baggy jeans and a belt, it just looks great. One of my favorite looks. I find it kinda odd I don't see it much. Wearing lingerie doesn't do anything for my horniness for some reason. Maybe it looks better in person than in photos?
I wear mens jeans and a belt for my job, and wearing that while topless always makes me feel weird even if it's only like that for just a second while dressing.
It's something about being butch, not caring about what you wear, and the crotch musk from exercising. When I eat someone out (hopefully one day) I'm going to sniff real hard and hope she doesn't use extremely strong smelling soap.
In the photo she's not topless but I hope it helps paint the picture.
>>276446>women can't be gross!!!!
This site has provided more proof against this belief than any other site, not just from anons but from cows.
Every woman is not exactly like you.
you are severely mentally ill. you are either autistic or suffer from some sort of personality disorder to have such limited, black and way view on how humanity works
by the way, do you believe it is somehow more natural for straight women to date men they aren't attracted to? it is just some inherent part of their sexuality? how is it possible to coerce women into sex industry in first world countries where social security is a thing? why does prostitution exist in places like sweden lmao how can anyone be coerced there if they just can go to the wellfare office?
like all those detransitioned women who said that homophobia was big reason for them to go and try to be men so that they would be straight are just lying? thy just do it to fuck up lesbians's reputation or whatever you think is that they are doing?
it is just their mental illnesses fault that they stupidly let society's homophobia affect them that way, what happened to them absolutely has nothing to do with social pressure but lol if they just hadn't been mentally ill they wouldn't had homophobia affect them that way?? so in that case social pressure and homophobia aren't the actual problems that could make people mentally ill, being mentally ill is, homophobia just isn't some actual issue that can make people go bonkers it is just some lite oppression that makes you little sad sometimes
Yeah the strange would-be gatekeepers in this thread who keep repeating "you're all bi" probably walk around with a chip on their shoulders about some kinsey 1 bihet leading them on and dumping them for a man, so in their head everyone who wasn't born the most lesbianest lesbian who ever lesbianed and instead took a left turn in a homophobic society in an attempt to force herself to like men is a cock addict preying on them. I really don't understand how it's so hard for them to believe that not all lesbians had a name for their feelings growing up, seeing how lesbianism isn't treated as nothing more than either girls experiencing puppy love girlcrushes or just a big sexual performance for moids. Like you said, plenty of FTMs are self-hating lesbians who wanted to become straight men to escape either their internalized homophobia or the oppression around them. Women are generally told that they're not supposed to be happy in a relationship or enjoy sex because they should focus on sacrificing themselves for men. Sometimes it feels like the stars have to be aligned correctly in order to grow up as a healthy, balanced lesbian who isn't crushed by the weight of the world giving her the options of either looking for the magical dick to cure her or just stop being a woman altogether. It's one thing to call bullshit on someone claiming to be a lesbian after multiple balanced and happy heterosexual relationships with men but entirely another if she was groomed and/or abused during her formative years in her past or tried to force herself into fixing herself. >>276479>homophobia just isn't some actual issue that can make people go bonkers it is just some lite oppression that makes you little sad sometimes
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Saw this and though of you guys
Oh my god shut the fuck up. Maybe you think the terminology is cringe but this is a goddamn lesbian thread. She can be horny for the smell of a woman's vulva if she wants, I feel the same and I think it's weird that you're so mad about it. >>276470
She wasn't even being gross imo just horny. But of course some of the instigators itt think that lesbian attraction is gross.
This is the first time a post reads like a 100% troonbian to me. >>276508>>276515
Women know not to use soap down there like that. Definitely. A woman wouldn't be worried about it smelling like soap down there.. Liking the smell of vag is fine honestly, but horny typing style combined with the fact he doesn't know women do not use soap in there is just the whole package.
Not using soap, especially
a strongly smelling one as the post described, is like the thing #1 we learn about female hygiene either being told so or by experiencing skin irritation and infections first hand. You absolutely do not fuck with the PH levels of your vagina and instead let it clean itself out.
Ayrt, I agree lol. My wife also likes me when I'm grimy and covered in sweat from work, even though I personally think I look like a wet rat. Not a weird thing to be into, it's like distilled essence of the person you like.>>276521>>276554
I hope it is an american only phenomenon and that women in other countries aren't being sold watermelon hibiscus scented pussy wash because yeah, it's a thing. And tbh it's not like most women will recognize or even heed their vagina's warning signs when it's also common to wax and shave and that causes an insane amount of irritation as well, and not just to the mons pubis. I knew someone who used to douche with summer's eve. Ugh.
A voice of reason, thank fuck. I feel the same, my gf and I go nuts for each other when there's a bit of sweat. Too much sweat that's been sitting festering would be too much for us but a bit of a funk? Hot. I don't need to explain that shit to polilezzes whose sexuality solely revolves around denying men and thinking about them kek.>>276521>Women know not to use soap down there like that
This is so not true lol. I've had roommates in my 20s where they not only ued scented soaps but also got constant yeast infections that they felt were mysterious. Many women are not informed, especially in the US.>>276579
It sounds like masturbation isn't the reason why you're drifting apart. There is something else going on, you need to think a bit harder on this. Assume that the masturbation isn't the culprit and see where it gets you imo.
Vulva stank anon here. I didn't remember the soap infection issue in the post, and I was only thinking of "something that could cover the smell", but I've heard smelling agents cause a lot of problems anyway so thanks for the information. They're marketed only to women/girls where I live.
My post read like a moid post, but that's only because it was A) a virgin's sexual fantasy B) I have a a type of Autism. These things are often Male traits/only Males are known to have them, but they're not exclusive to them. If I referenced penetration or having a beard or what have you, then it would've been a moid post since women can't do that during sex. Even incessant moaning could be some nonna's favorite thing. Knowing the difference is good since we're all anons. Not only could litterally any anon be a moid, any could be a bot ran by a moid. Feel free to voice concerns, of course, if you see a moid post. I just wanted to throw in something else other than the Bisexual-or-not thread because I couldn't care less, people on this site can only gleam so much from some posts. It seems like that needs to be worked out offline.
Apologies, it was too much and should've been in the sexual fantasy thread.
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>Revisits thread 3 days later to find bi infighting and pussy stink arguments
Don't apologise, anon. You weren't overly sexual or crass and as a fellow autist I don't think it was your autism either. This is a thread relating to female sexuality so of course some of us mention sex. You're not some minority fetishist, pussy smells good! Some "lesbians" in this thread just live to clutch their pearls over something. Honestly I think it was very iconic of you to start WW3 in here and then bounce for a few days, kek. I would be like picrel here >>276737
if I was you.
Lol fuck off. If straight women don't like the taste or smell of the penises on the men they're attracted to, that has nothing to do with me. Listen to yourself, it's a niche fetish and comparable to eating shit to like the smell of pussy? You know, the place I put my face during sex? Am I allowed to like the taste or is that a gross male fetish too? Pathetic interloper, you'll never know the touch of a woman.>>276737
Sorry anon lol normally I'm so good at staying out of this shit but I really am starting to think half the posters itt are moids
She had a same-sex relationship with a woman named Joanne, and she also had a sexual relationship with her husband John, so she's Bisexual. Here's what she said at a lesbian rally about it:
"Second, being a lesbian means to me that there is an erotic passion and intimacy which comes of touch and taste, a wild, salty tenderness, a wet sweet sweat, our breasts, our mouths, our cunts, our intertangled hairs, our hands. I am speaking here of a sensual passion as deep and mysterious as the sea, as strong and still as the mountain, as insistent and changing as the wind."
full thing: http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/dworkin/OurBloodII.html
. Make of it what you will.
I believe she was sexually attracted to women but intertwined it with her feminism when she could, when they aren't the most compatible. Sexuality doesn't have moral limits like feminism does so they're bound to clash on principle. For example, Dworkin may support a lesbian couple at first but won't when one of the women is revealed to be abusive
I find that some "chapstick" looking women are often interested in GNC styling but aren't confident enough to try or may just not possess the aesthetic skills to even construct a look. Not saying you should get with someone with the intent to change them but sometimes you do run into unexpected gems, they just need a little reassurance. For instance I know a woman who dressed super low key but not really GNC. Turns out she'd been told she's boyish and plain all her life so she never had the courage to try the styles she had interest in. She knew that people approve when she's dolled up but hated doing it. I helped her come out of her shell a bit and she's now a lot happier with her expression as a GNC woman.
I do think it's best to open yourself up to appreciating different people in general. What matters to you the most? Life goals need to add up, politics, looks, sense of humor, hobbies, family situation, etc etc etc. There are so many parameters and I think fashion has got to be one of the lowest things on that long list of things that need to align.
You're definitely right about a lot of us needing a hype woman. I've been butch my whole life but held on to my shoulder length hair as my last bastion of femininity. I'm tall and muscular and regularly get read as male so I was a retard and kept a haircut I didn't like, thinking it would soften my edge a lil bit. Well that all went out the window when the big C came to town. I had a large part of a brain tumour removed and then radio and chemo and ended up having to shave my head. Thing is though, when I looked in the mirror I actually liked
what I saw. In the midst of all that horrible, life threatening shit I actually felt a lil surge of confidence from seeing myself rock a buzzcut. As my hair started to grow back post treatment I thought "oh well, back to long-ish hair and business as usual" but my wife used to be a barber in a kweerio salon and specialised in giving lesbian haircuts so she convinced me to let her cut my hair when it grew out a bit and holy shit, I loved it! I felt handsome as fuck! My wife loved it too and constantly reminded me that she did and although I was nervous about looking even more butch she really helped me to prioritise my own feelings. I also got more into suits thanks to my wife and I generally care a lot less about how straight people perceive me now. Sometimes us GNC dykes just need buttering up and reminding that we only have one life and should spend it dressed how we want. Many gfs and flings have helped me along the way with this and I love every single one for helping me to present how I want.
I'd apologise profusely if I did that too. It's completely normal to, IMO. I can see where your gf is coming from as some women really are like "oh fuck, I bumped into this dyke, I better tell her we won't be having sex because you know what those lesbians are like!" but she's probably just on high alert to be polite with it only being the second meeting. It's no biggie, IMO.
Ah I know how you feel, that masc confidence. I overcompensated when struggling to come to terms with myself with hyperfemininity. It felt so uncomfortable. Didn’t expect that dressing masculine would give me so much more confidence, that I would feel like myself again.
The thing is I used to make fun of butch looking women because my family did it too. Not harassment, obviously, but like ‘haha she looks so gay’ at masc women on tv, honestly I just wanted to fit in, throw them off my trail. Actually, I agreed with them ‘yeah lesbians have issues and probably don’t exist’. Idk if it’s
bc i was with my slavic family, they just say what they think, politically incorrect, often homophobic, but it makes me extra insecure now. I do want their approval- especially from other women. I feel most comfortable and myself looking masc, but i don’t want to look like a butt of the joke dyke, or be excluded from womanhood. I feel scared to look too dykish in front of them. I knew an eastern european lesbian who was totally rejected by her mother. The women especially will be judgemental. Just realised i accidentally bloggerinoed again, sorry guys
There's nothing to be embarrassed about, I'm sure a few other nonnas in this thread haven't been with a woman yet or are virgins. It's good that you care about your future partner's pleasure! Not sure if I'm the best person to give advice since I'm only a year older than you and have only had sex with one person so far in my life, but I think your first obstacle is finding out what YOU yourself enjoy and exploring your body a bit more. Not every woman is the same of course but we generally like the same things, and I think familiarizing yourself with what brings you pleasure is a good place to start. How do you like to stimulate your nipples, clit, how do you feel about penetration and do you like it a certain way, etc.
Don't just touch your genitals or nipples when you masturbate, try rubbing or lightly scratching other parts of your body. I remember not enjoying receiving from my ex since she put minimal effort into touching parts of my body that weren't my pussy- it felt detached, if that makes sense?
Generally if you enjoy it she'll enjoy it too. Pay attention to her noises and reactions, and don't be afraid to get handsy or put your mouth places- I know almost every woman out there, me included, has a huge weakness for neck kisses/biting, or any kind of mouth action on sensitive areas- they don't even have to be erogenous. My ex liked it when I lightly bit her inner thighs.
Believe me I've been in your shoes and it sucks. Sex can be intimidating, ffs I'm still slightly intimidated at the idea of doing it with someone else in the future, but the important thing is that you do it with someone you're comfortable with and can laugh about it with. You don't have to do anything that you don't want to, just don't be a pillow princess kek. This is kinda general so if you want anything specific feel free to ask.
Good luck Nonna, hope you find the butch of your dreams to fingerbang!
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From reading this thread I have to say,
That honestly at this point I am thoroughly convinced that all of this lesbian "purity" nonsense that is dividing us is the work of moids/trannies posing as lesbians.
I honestly have no problems with late bloomers. I don't care when they came out/why it took them so long to figure themselves out and I'm certainly not going to interrogate them on their past and if they were involved with men and shit.
From my experience once late bloomers figure their shit out they do not go back to men. It's not my place to accuse them of being bisexual, as if that's a bad thing or deal breaker.
The wlw dating pool is small enough as it is. This discourse is so prevalent online but irl most wlw don't hyperfocus on this shit so much.
I think trannies are seething. This is a seething tranny campaign to divide us.
Late bloomers, I love y'all and I'm glad you're here.
>>277534>oh you think differently from me? you're a moid/tranny>refusal to understand why some lesbians prefer to date their own kind>unironic use of "wlw"
Honestly the majority of bi women and unfortunately some lesbians view us butches as bottom of the barrel options. They're attracted to us, sure, but we're masculine therefore automatically toxic
and should feel honoured that we're even considered an option by them. When they come down from their high horse and decide to throw us filthy peasants some pussy they expect us to be at their beck and call and put up with shitty behaviour including sexual harassment and a medieval attitude on gender non-conformity. I've worked as a bouncer for gay bars in the past and have been groped and talked dirty to which is seen as fine but the moment I lay down boundaries or shake off their touch I'm being aggressive or "not taking a joke". Now imagine a butch woman openly groping a feminine woman, completely different reaction. I still have to pinch myself when I remember I'm married. Dating as a lesbian is rough enough, dating as a butch is hell. I'm so thankful to have a GNC wife who gets it
because I've played the man lite, dildo on legs role for far too fucking long. I really wish I could go back and tell baby dyke me to be more confident and not allow myself to be treated like a freak who should accept shitty women because as rare as they are, there are women out there who truly love us and don't see us as mini moids. I recommend seeing if there are any gatherings for GNC women/butches near you. I've met a lot of good friends at these gatherings and even straight GNC women get the same harassment sometimes because they're often assumed to be gay. It's very refreshing to be surrounded by GNC women when sometimes it feels like we all live under rock far, far away from each other.
Thank you nonny
, reading your reply was cathartic. I've always been treated with respect by other butches and they always respect my boundaries, they're always such gentlewomen. It's too bad so many of them have trooned out and the rest are ridiculously hard to find so I'm left with those egoistical women who, as you put it, expect us filthy peasants to worship the ground they walk on for being allowed to be seen attractive by them, in worst cases to be dumped for a man when the time comes. I've been pigeonholed into being the dominant male lite who serves them like a sex slave and loves being sexually harassed in return, only because I'm masculine presenting. Despite me being quite mundane with my sexual behavior like, you know, regular loving sex with mutual contribution, not me ravaging her in some cringe BDSM way.
I am quite okay at eating pussy (at least the last woman I was with I made cum several times in a row every time lol). My tips are 1. ask what she likes and wants (duh) 2. when you are eating her out/fingering her etc, listen to the sounds she makes. Even if someone is not very verbal or doesn't moan a lot, you can still hear if they actually enjoy something by their breathing and body language.
Also,just a personal preference, but my favourite position/way to have lesbian sex is tribbing (?) with a vibrator. Like hugging close legs spread apart with a vibrator between your vaginas. It's so easy, and you don't necessarily even need to take your clothes off lmao.
I honestly wouldn't mind getting sexual attention from women, kinda dried up for me when dating apps became big and I'm more on the hypersexual side probably. I hate when people go "step on me" though, I don't want to step on anyone. Other than that I still get treated like a man, all initiative and asking out has to come from me, having to walk the tightrope of toxic
masculinity accusations while also being expected to act man lite. I would like to feel (sexually) desired, but not in a weird violent or man lite way. Instead of always having to message first, do the asking out, being expected to be able to mindread whether someone is interested irl and getting shit for not doing anything. Why can't people just normally tell me they're interested without resorting to "step on me" or expecting mindreading?
>>277760>Why can't people just normally tell me they're interested without resorting to "step on me" or expecting mindreading?
Yes! I've had so many women just get mad at me and later gloat how I missed my chance, all because I had no idea she was interested in me and expected me to take the initiative because apparently being masculine makes me a man, so I should also pick up on weird clues like "step on me" that sound like a pornsick bihet oneliners. I don't want to risk getting my heart broken and be ridiculed for being a predatory lesbian for the sin of showing interest in a woman unless I'm sure.
>all initiative and asking out has to come from me, having to walk the tightrope of toxic masculinity accusations while also being expected to act man lite.
Another thing that I hate. Goddamn, I'm a woman and a victim
of female socialization too, putting on a pair of pants doesn't magically give me the freedom, privilege and the delusional confidence of a moid.
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Holy shit nonas I have a date tomorrow and I'm nervous as fuck.
She's extremely cute, we met at a party last week where we kissed and talked about music and the x-files. I'm very inexperienced when it comes to dating and sex and I have no idea how I'm expected to act and what I should do. Terrified of coming across as awkward or boring, especially since I was pretty drunk at that party which took care of my nerves at the time. She seemed really confident and fun and she might expect me to be more like that instead of the anxious bumbling idiot I really am.
oh look, someone trying to make butch/fem presentation Heterosexuality Lite again
literally shut the fuck up.
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Oh definitely. I read a study before that said about 1/4 butches are also attracted to other butches, but it's like being double gay. Lots of stigma around it, including in the community. From the faggot butch essay>“Write about how, as soon as butches were no longer the scourge of dykedom for aping masculinity, or whatever that baloney was, it became faggot butches who were scorned and derided. Everyone understands butch/femme because it seems familiar, like Ozzie and Harriet but with better hair and more pussy. Everyone understands femme on femme, even though you don’t see it often because it doesn’t read queer, you know, but it’s in the first images of ‘lesbian love’ most of us see, in porn or on television. Two long haired pretty girls smooching in a daring fashion wherever they happen to be. No one’s threatened by that, not the dykes, not the men, nobody, but if I want to kiss my butch anywhere, I’d be damned sure of my audience, or better yet, better be sure we don’t have one.
Or when Lea Delaria said she's not a "fag" when asked whether she was attracted to Ruby Rose, picrel.
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what are y’all’s thoughts on this tumblr post i found (1/4)
Also I want to note that lesbian feminist peers in France disagreed with the American ones for the insisting on the "choice" thing and shitting on "lifelongs". Among other disagreements like American polilez hating butches etc. While Dutch ones agreed with the Americans. So it's not even guaranteed that everywhere this was a common framework among middle class lesbians. >>277936
Yeah but by their logic two straight women living together as friends while calling themselves lesbian radfems are living a lesbian lifestyle. However a lesbian who isn't out as either a radfem or lesbian, isn't living a lesbian lifestyle. So if you're not already being cancelled irl for being a "Terf
", you're not a real lesbian according to them. They have a problem with the idea of "lifelong", prior to coming out as both a lesbian and radfem, they think you shouldn't be considered a "real lesbian". So it's not like they're doing any less purity testing than we do nowadays, just in a weird way. If anything polilez are the ones advocating for self IDing as lesbians, when many are just straight politically celibate women.
Yes, you're correct. She hasn't told them about me to avoid conflict because I am not white. Well, atleast that's what she says.
She doesn't live with them anymore yet she hasn't told them. They do visit her often.>>277971
I wouldn't mind the first year if she didn't tell her family about us until she considers us a serious relationship.Anything after 1 full year I wouldn't like and begin to distrust.>>278000
Hate crimes are not a possibility in her case , but she is very controlled by them and often defends thier behavior saying they need time. I'm seriously considering ending this long relationship because not only does she not tell them about me and keep me hidden I have heard her family disrespect me and insult me on the phone since they believe I'm just a friend.
Ugh, that is extremely frustrating. Her family may or may not rely on her but at some point she needs to demand respect or leave. So do you, ostensibly. A long term girlfriend is family too
. You need to come first. Or else wtf is the point of loving anyone? Her family can enjoy a cushy second place priority in her life, especially since they're so shitty she struggled to come out and can't date interracially.
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>>278019>She had the biggest etc.
In principle, finding someone hot is not an act of violence and as long as you don't harass people (either by staring or verbally etc) it's not a big deal. If you also see women as full human beings with interesting inner worlds, you're fine. Sexual attraction towards only women as a woman is the core thing about being a lesbian, so of course you'll think someone's really hot on occasion. Noticing details is a very common thing for us anyway, most women can distill their attraction to fine points like >the sliver of elbow skin you see between the sleeve and a watch
If you took a gander at the original female gaze thread. I'm not sure if /m/ ever recovered but the "revival" thread is utter ass because pornsick femcels colonized this whole website with their incessant husbandoposting across dozens of threads, on every single board, even in threads where it's entirely off-topic
. Anyway, feeling guilty or ashamed is not going to help you or the poor, poor women you thought were cute
. Just move on, don't make people uncomfortable but stop worrying so much. You are not a rapist.Btw if you're a tranny or if a tranny is reading this, you should kys. It's only non-creepy coming from actual women because they're not violent XY defectives like you. >>278022
Ah yeah, internally thinking a woman is sexy is somehow an act so vile. Not like anon went and catcalled her. If she did gawk at her then it's rude and maybe creepy but surely just noticing her beauty isn't predatory.
I just don't understand how it should work really. Like, what a healthy perception of women should look like?
In that other post I meant to say that I saw a good-looking woman and was like "wow, what the hell". I honestly don't understand what other reaction should I have? Don't look at people at all on the streets? It's pretty hard to not notice people and even harder not to have a thought in your head like "whew, she is smoking hot". And, in the end, what can I say, I love ass and love yoga pants.
This is going to start another retarded polilez fingerpointing infight but I'm going to agree with >>278028
. I almost had a gay heart attack when I saw a beautiful woman with the body of a greek goddess sunbathing the other day so I understand feeling guilty about experiencing physical attraction, but going on an anonymous board to first complain about feeling guilty of objectifying women and then going ahead to publicly describe a completely random woman you saw on the street like a piece of meat with her "biggest, tightest ass" and "wet pussy" in her "super tight leggings" to an audience of strangers sounds inappropriate as hell. That's locker room talk, it's would be weird to witness no matter what sexual orientation one has.
Girl, it's an anonymous image board, where else should I post this shit? PM it to my grandma on FB?>>278032
I'm not I swear. Although maybe watching porn made my brains dissolve a little so now I have a moid brain.
How is that short post a porn novel?
I also freak out mentally a bit when I see hot women in tight excercise leggings because it's a wonderful sight but I don't want to be like a gross moid and stare.
But noticing hot women is not scrotey ffs.
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I've been into wearing more longer skirts and boots myself, I like the look of feminine clothes with an edge to it if that makes sense. I don't see too many normie girls dressing like that. Also what >>278107
said, having more flamboyant statement pieces in an outfit, I always assume girls wearing this are either gay or art students kek
"Creepily"? Those are simply the kind of thought you have when, y'know… you're sexually attracted
to someone, requirement to define your sexual orientation
. Yet, you seem weirdly shocked at the thought of seeing other women in a sexual way.
Go listen to Girl in Red and clutch your pearls somewhere else, lesbians get enough shit for liking women already. We don't need weird cottagecore-chans trying to make anons feel bad for their normal, natural impulses.>>278155
Go find your Nigel.
I personally have history of being sexually harassed by both men and other women so I really don't appreciate people talking about women like they were objects to grade. I would feel extremely uncomfortable if someone was eyeing down my crotch and ass on the street and telling about it in detail on a public website, it would be an entirely different thing to say something more respectful and neutral like "I saw a beautiful woman with a great body cycling past me and I was immediately attracted to her" instead of describing the wet spot near my vagina and my fat ass like a horny scrote. Seriously this constant lewd thirstposting and the visceral autistic rage directed people not appreciative of it is curious as fuck and looks and sounds like an attempt at astroturfing. Just because lesbian sexuality is repressed it doesn't mean you have to go to the other extreme.>>278157
Are these cottagecore-chans in the room with us right now?
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Cool story, unfortunately lesbians experiencing sexual attraction towards other women is still normal. >visceral autistic rage
"Everyone who disagrees with my inane point is autistically mad!"
Anon, you are triggered
by anons having sexual thoughts towards women. At this point I'm gonna take the bait and ask, have you ever had sex or a girlfriend? What would you say to her when you're in the mood? "Darling, you're looking scrumptious right now and I'm very much attracted to you"? Please.
>>278163>say something more respectful and neutral like "I saw a beautiful woman with a great body cycling past me and I was immediately attracted to her"
Cool, if those are the terms you prefer to keep things in you are absolutely free to do so. Some of us like to think of the details and are also free to post about that stuff if we like. Anon didn't go up to the woman to tell her
about it, did not doxx her or post a creepshot of her where she can be identified, didn't stare at her and make her uncomfortable. Her account of how she experienced seeing a sexy woman has absolutely zero effect on that stranger's life. You need to understand that you have a hypersensitivity thing regarding this kind of thing (which I respect, as a sexual assault survivor myself who still goes through street harassment regularly) and just stop reading when something upsets you. It's not that hard, it's certainly not un-lesbian. >>278193
The anon >>278019
who posted the story that triggered
everyone wasn't merely making a hornypost, it was also about her shame towards how she feels. The sexual fantasy thread isn't a good place for that, as she's looking for community on a broader topic. And guess what, a bunch of polilezzes dogpiled on her and confirmed her insecurity. And for what? Thinking a woman is hot and writing a blurb about a stranger she didn't even post anything identifying about. People are acting unhinged and muddying the waters with their skewed mindsets.
Again, if you can’t cope with the fact that women are attracted to women get out of the lesbian thread, you’re being a deadweight here
I’m sorry you’ve been harassed but literally every woman has been? Your sexual traumas have nothing to do with us.
>>278211> but i think our own space would be cool.
Girl, do you even see what is happening here right now lol
Obviously I love the idea but honestly I have come to the conclusion that lesbians themselves are at fault because all “lesbian” online spaces like this thread, l chat, a nook on radblr or ovarit are all shitholes (sorry nonas, i love you, but lets be real) if you made another site it would degrade into feminist purity shitslinging right away because someone wrote a retarded post about smelling pussy sweat
Would contribute artfag stuff but moderating a lesbian site would be hell
. Discord is more like it since you can make sure nobody is a male but Discord users are often unhinged retards so.
Definitely more of a pipe dream, I guess. But it's fun to think about>>278223
Spicy straights are trying their best with queer theory, anon, give them time.
Because objectifying someone is disgusting, if they're going to degrade someone I'd rather it be men than other women.
Are you telling me women should be degraded and treated as pieces of meat by both men and women now? Come on. And again, this isn't even being sexually attracted to women, but literally acting like a disgusting scrote describing some random innocent women as an object. Use your damn brain.
I am so happy to hear that! I think we might as well try, even if there are grains of truth in what >>278217
is saying- thelchat is nice, but it has a pretty normie vibe, celebrity obsession, back and forth bickering, you know. I love this website but there’s a lot i don’t really relate to. So we could have a board that’s chill, with a sprinkling of imageboard retardation, just for us. Nonnie
, I like your ideas. It’s cool that there are people with dev skills here, and the idea of pre selected images is a good one- or even trusted user privileges, such as image posting that the admin could grant. I think that could keep things safe.>>278222
That’s such a cute idea ngl
Why do you need to hornypost about how thick and huge her ass was and how you wanted her sweaty pussy on your face? She's a damn stranger on the street, not looking to be sexualized by creeps. Could just say she's hot, has a nice figure and leave it at that instead of reducing her to body parts like a sleaze.>o my holy queen of purity
Get over yourself.(are you lost?)
Ok now explain why hornyposting any which way we want in our thread is a bad thing. Let's assume it's moid tier. Who the fuck are you
to police what words we choose to describe our feelings? Just because your entire life is framed around men does not mean we have to live like that. Some of us don't care about being the opposite of men in every way, we're busy being lesbians.
Get over yourself, it's several anons responding to you at this point because of how bizarre your outrage at lesbians expressing their sexual attraction in the lesbian thread is.
I'm not OP and never hornyposted before, but I'm gonna do it now because fuck you, that's why.>>278284
We can sure try, I'll begin.
What kind of woman attracts you the most, anons? My type is soft tomboys, preferably with short hair. I love to take care of them in bed, stroke their hair, make them squirm and eat them out until my jaw is sore. I've been going on a few dates with a short haired qt and all I know is I would lick every inch of her.
And most importantly, her moist pussy
I love women who are a little chubby. Not obese but the higher end of a healthy BMI or overweight. I like kissing softer stomachs and resting my head there like a pillow, and soft thighs are the best. I also really love natural body hair. To the point where it's almost a dealbreaker if a woman shaves, which I kind of feel like an asshole about because it's shallow but I hate the texture of stubble. Body hair is pretty soft once it grows out, full hair feels smoother to me than stubble. Also bush
is hot. And happy trails
Women who are slim/physically fit, taught stomach and nice shapely legs and huge ass
I consider this a bit graphic and I’ve literally never told this to anyone so… yeah
I have this fantasy of being used by a whole sports team like volleyball,football whatever, like I’d eat every single one of them out and they wouldn’t allow me to rest or anything, they could verbally degrade me too I don’t care, I just wanna be used by a woman and pleasure her
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i love looking at vintage lesbian pics and imagining how their lives were after the photo / potentially how their lives are right now. i hope they're happy >>278306
lmao i condition my bush just for women like you, nona
well actually it makes me angry, being that i had to expirence wearing little short shorts for a uniform before and I was so uncomfortable with it it made me quit.
i can't imagine running and jumping in >>278336
shes basically wearing a thong and feeling like you have a wedgie when you're trying to preform at your best doesn't sound fun.
Can this thread be normal for like, two days without resorting to chimp outs? >>277812
Fuck Lea DeLaria. If her sexuality and/or butchness is threatened by Ruby Rose, the most safe for heterosexual consumption, baby bihets first girl crush, Justin Bieber looking ass """butch""" who I've never seen without a full face of make-up, then she's got serious problems. She always gave me chest beating, alpha butch vibes and it's sad to see that she's terminally retarded too. Anyway I love being a faggot butch and I'm too busy admiring myself in a mirror a la Johnny Bravo to listen to dinosaurs like her.
>>278293>What kind of woman attracts you the most, anons
A bit late but my type is the stereotypicaly intellectual/academic oriented women, I love the whole nerdy look and behaviour, I have a bit of a thing for glasses too. If she is weird and slightly off putting ( because she do not care about looking acceptable for society and is too buzy thinking about some complicated problems or abstract theories ) it's even better ! This type is just so charming and cute to me, it drives me wild to even think about it>>278681
God, what a perfect post nonnie
, my sides
>>278825>get so anxious about coming off normal enough to not scare off a woman i find attractive - it’d just feel correct to find someone else on that same wavelength
I deeply relate nonnie
, I always try to hide who I am because I'm afraid of being a weirdo but I just end up looking super dull and cold because of it. Wishing you the best in the quest to find a fellow strange gf!>>278845>Weird autistic woman to be my hermit wife
My absolute dream!
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Any Weeb anons reading The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy At All by Arai Sumiko ?
Nah its like a lot of 3 page chapters (currently ch13 I think) uploaded every sunday. Very Shoujo ai I think the ending will probably just be a confession and that's it.>>279220
yeah rocker gf idea is so cute too surprisingly I haven't really seen that in yuris before. Why do we only get school girl shit. Lowkey starting to feel deceptive in how it's a secret though makes me a little sad but the art is so cute.
nb4 anyone says go to m I scrolled like 10 pages and there's no yuri thread it's dead!
>>279248>I think the ending will probably just be a confession and that's it
Kind of sad, but then again it means there won't be any guy friend or long-lost ex bestfriend drama arc, so it is a win in my book. Better short and sweet than a drawn out flop with 5 breakup arcs.
Also I don't know how to feel about the green backgrounds (it is weird but it doesn't annoy me though thankfully)
Don't be discouraged.I hope you meet someone nice.
I just got off a 7 year relationship by them pulling a no contact. Crazy because my gut is telling me she cheated and she just can't come clean about it. Next week would have been out anniversary too.
Los Angeles Lesbians sounds very intimidating so I'll be single for a while.
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I'm curious, how many of you would date a detrans woman?
Depends how far into transition she was and how much testosterone warped her body. I don't want to suck on a 3 inch clit
but the titchop wouldn't bother me. Frog voice would likely be a deal breaker for me and I'd need her to get the beard completely lasered off if she ended up with one. I love female masculinity but what T does to the body is beyond just masc.
Agreed. Well, maybe not masc, but definitely harder facial features.
Top surgery kinda freaks me out, so maybe not someone without boobs.
I'd worry about whatever personality trait that led she to becoming trans developing into some other issue
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Saging because it's dumb as hell but I'm going to an arcade with my friends later tonight. The issue is… some girl I matched with and ghosted because I wasn't feeling it at all works there. Pray for me nonnas, this is my punishment for being a stereotypical ghosting dyke :')
Thank you nonita! I definitely had fun with my friend and his sister, I even managed to win one of those plague doctor squishamallows after 2 tries at the claw machines :)
Awww you and your gf sound so cute wtf I want that for myself one day. Sadly even if I hit this girl up again I don't think it'll go anywhere since rn I'm living and working in a very seasonal beach area until I go back to college, she told me her situation is similar lol. On the bright side she wasn't working there so I was able to avoid the awkwardness. I do feel bad though, part of me just wants to hit her up to explain myself- I recently got two jobs so I have no time to myself let alone going on dates.
Though, I did decide to hit up my friend from college who I have a crush on about a month ago to tell her I was watching Arcane which she kept telling me to watch when we were on campus together. I'm awful at watching shows but it was a perfect reason to talk to her again (plus it's VERY good holy shit) and now we've been talking for the past… month and a half iirc? So hopefully THAT goes somewhere, I tested the waters with flirting (told her I thought she would look nice in a skirt) and her reaction wasn't negative so I'm gonna take that as a small victory.(:))
I have a lot of sympathy for detransitioners and I tend to agree with a lot of their views, so it's not something I'm opposed to ideologically, but I'm not attracted to most masculine women, so it might not work out. I know most hormone effects besides the face, genitals, voice (which I can tolerate), stay the same while other physical changes like fat distribution go away, but I see some of them still struggle with facial hair.
I also couldn't date someone who had any surgeries like no breasts or a fake penis.
I'm perhaps too giddy about being out and visible but it has opened up so many doors for me that any street harassment or family hostility has been completely worth it. If your area is truly unsafe then obviously you're not a shit person or a coward for not being out but if you're not in physical danger, I say take the plunge. The tolerance of straight people isn't worth missing out on real lesbian connections. If you're not visible, you won't find community.
Whenever I see a fellow lesbian out on the street, we exchange smiles or nods and even that is so powerful. You will feel loved.
Fetch the bolt cutters
You've been there too long
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Have you ever gone to a woman's house and suddenly completely lost interest in her due to her lack of tidiness? I am absolutely by no means a clean freak but I went to the apartment of a girl I've been seeing casually for the first time and to get to her bed I was wading literally shin-deep in dirty laundry and alcohol bottles. She shrugged it off by saying she worked 5 days this week, bitch so did I, I didn't forget how to use a laundry hamper and a bin ffs. The bottom of my grey socks were black after walking on her landing carpet.
She also pressures me to drink more than I'd like and then makes fun of me for being a lightweight (after I'm drunk off of an entire bottle of wine) so I don't think it was meant to be. Disappointing because she's really cute but this is more than I can handle kek.
Girl, she’s an alcoholic. You dodged a bullet>she worked 5 days this week
Kek, doesn’t almost everyone work 5 days a week
>>279868>The bottom of my grey socks were black after walking on her landing carpet.
oh god>he also pressures me to drink more than I'd like
I'd consider what her intentions are here
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I just finished watching Carol. God, did it give me butterflies. I wanna fall in love like this with an older woman. I'd prefer it if the ending made it more obvious that they were gonna be together, like a grand kiss and a hug like you see in cheesy het romantic dramas. It's not fair…
While my impulse is to give her the benefit of the doubt, what truly matters for you
is that whether your needs were met. Doesn't mean she is evil or unkind necessarily, just an objective look at whether you were fulfilled in a time of need. Answer is obviously that you weren't when you needed support at a time of loss and she made it about herself b saying she felt guilty.
What do you need now?
Love yourself nonnie
. It's gonna hurt for a long time to break it off but someone who ghosts you for a month after a seven year relationship and won't say she loves you back does not deserve the love you're giving her or the support you're offering. Not to mention that a long distance relationship where one person can't be bothered to even text back won't work - LDRs can fall apart easily even with good communication, which this is not. You deserve to be loved whole-heartedly.
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excuse you? this made me sick to my stomach
Sage for rant; I have no problem with bisexuals, but I honestly wish these "inclusive queer" types would shut the fuck up about genitals have nothing to do with sexuality. The vast majority of people do not have an intersex condition where their genitals are ambiguous (and even then people are still male or female, it's just a genetic issue), and someone's phenotype correlates to what genitals they have the vast majority of the time. Up until this gender madness became more mainstream, everybody knew what someone meant when they said "I like women/men", because it was understood that woman=female=having a vulva and man=male=having a penis.
I thought it was Trans Politics 101 that gender is a social construct? Animals don't ask each other what their pronouns are when they're in heat (especially not the ones who mate with the same sex). When I was figuring out who and what I liked during puberty, I wasn't trying to oppress transgenders (a literal minority, I never even met one until I was an adult) when I realized that male bodies and penises were not appealing to me and never would be? And even if this was a "preference" that was caused by being abused, my therapist has told me that I deserve consent and can say no to whoever I want.
"Lesbians" who "like dick" are either lying to save face or kinsey 4/5 bisexuals who think mainly liking feminine people makes them not bisexual.
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I wonder if she even tried to have sex with a trans women
I read this post when I started looking into more gender critical stuff and it was years ago, it kind of turned my world upside down because when I was a libfem I saw lesbians just say "I'm penis repulsed, so I would only date a post op transwoman" as a save, and I figured I would use that excuse too if I was asked, since most TIMs don't get surgery and the ones who do are usually attracted to men only.
I think the insidious part IMO is that the OP says if you had sex with a woman before then you'd realize it's different. But a lot of lesbians nowadays are very inexperienced and I have friends that are aged between 20-30+, and half of them have dated or had sex and most never were in a LTR. I'm on the older side and have problems finding someone my age to just hook up with. Why? Because our apps are full of men and women who want threesomes, our LGB spaces were rebranded to be "queer, inclusive", the few lesbian bars opened are also inclusive and allow anyone. There isn't a real place to explore homosexuality IME unless you're really lucky and have a lot of gay friends IRL that aren't queerios.
A lot of these girls will be told it's the same and believe it because they never experienced what actual sex is a woman is like. I knew a girl who was pressured to date TIMs as a teenager since she was told they're women too and it traumatized her so much (and the TIM assaulted her), she was too scared to have actual sex with a real woman. And she met more women who went through this too later.
AYRT, that's true, but as I said most TIMs don't get surgery and the ones who do are gay men trying to become "straight women". I actually hardly see "lesbian sex ed" that talks about neo"vaginas" (bc only less than 10% of TIMs get surgery), but on the flip side, a lot of young lesbians are being coerced into dealing with actual penis. There's so much stuff saying that penises are like strap-ons (or that if you're willing to use a dildo then a penis is the next logical conclusion), or that you can just have sex without touching his penis or let him do things to you. That was basically what my friend who was assaulted and other lesbians who were coerced by TIMs said it was like.
That's kind of why some lesbians just lie and say they would "only date a post op transwoman" because there are hardly any "transbians" who actually do it. It's a lie to save face, but as that Tumblr post described it, it wouldn't be an enjoyable experience either since it's an inverted penis with nothing connecting on the inside. It's like choosing between vomit and poop.
I found a chapter about medieval lesbians, so I'm sharing some tidbits
>The main problem with lesbians, according to the church, was that they were involved with secret girly touching and led other women away from marriage and husbands. Tsk tsk , for shame. Canonists didn’t really know what to do with them, and often just looked the other way and focused on more pressing matters, like whose cow was allowed to eat the grass on the verge between two properties and whether or not the bread was undersized.
>By the fourteenth century, the mumblings and veiled comments developed into full-blown angst. Women who loved women in any other way than a firm, platonic friendship were now viewed with hostility. Women were cautioned not to form strong friendships with other women, just in case an unnatural attachment might blossom. Sermons were needed. Fingerpointing happened. Name-calling became nastier and more frequent.
>In this respect, sinning with a close female friend carried the same punishment as sinning alone, which is a bit surprising. Normally solo activities were slightly less punishable offences than group ones. Fasting for penance was defined as fasting for all holy days, not every day of the week. Mind you, there was an extremely large number of holy days. Saint’s days, which made up public holidays, numbered around sixty a year, a lot of time for reflection of sins.
About sex toy use in medieval times
>They might have straps, all the better to play with a friend. Confessional advice.
>They might not have straps. All the better to play solo. More confessional advice.
>They are shown by the basket full. Marginalia manuscripts of naughty nuns.
>Several images show the cat running away with them. More manuscripts.
Yeah she basically stopped talking to me when my life became upside down.
I haven't met her in rl yet she kept giving every excuse and she had very possessive parents that prevented her from being close to others. She recently moved which she was going to buy me my ticket before she stopped talking to me.
I feel like I'm getting older, I'm 29 and I'm turning 30 next year. I have always played it safe and always tried to do the right thing…so for myself, I bought a plane ticket to confront her to have a conversation on what happened. I know it will be an eventual heartbreak but if im going to suffer I want to do it properly so I can be over her completely and not have the "what if" for the rest of my life.
I want to tell this thread that I'll update once I go. This is going to be the one crazy, irrational thing that I did in my 20's.
Yeah people often say it's a modern invention, but Katherina Hetzeldorfer was executed in 1477 for female homosexuality and she made a strap.>“She made an instrument with a red piece of leather, at the front filled with cotton, and a wooden stick stuck into it, and made a hole through the wooden stick, put a string through, and tied it round; and therewith she had her roguery with the two women….”
There also was Bertolina, who was charged in 1295 for the use of them.
The oldest known relic that’s believed to be a strap-on is from the Upper Paleolithic Period, 30,000 B.C. Personally I've never used a strap nor do I think it's essential. It's interesting however how old the practice is.
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The funny thing is that the catholic church might have unwittingly promoted lesbianism by constantly fucking asking about it in detail during confession. And basically teaching women how to make straps. They make it sound like lesbian nuns were extremely common. Especially in Germany. I got most of the info from "the very secret sex lives of medieval women" by Rosalie Gilbert. You're welcome!
Been seeing a girl for a few weeks and I can't tell what's going on. In person she seems very interested, takes note of little things I say or do, proposes fun things to do and plans ahead, even told me she's deleted every dating app and isn't seeing anyone else because she's seeing me. But then I get some mixed signals when she's away: last week after the date I suggested we saw each other again on the next day or the day after before I went on vacation, and suddenly she said she was busy with a friend even though she didn't say anything about it when I talked about it during the date, and even though during said date she invited me to stay the night? Was she gonna kick me out on the next day? I don't know, it felt off, especially because our end-of-date goodbye felt very rushed on her part, like she couldn't wait to leave. She's also a very slow texter with me, sometimes she reads my message but doesn't reply for a day or more, though she uses her phone. At the same time, she already planned a date for the week I go back from the vacation.
Am I reading too much into it? I know that some people just hate texting, but you know… Sometimes it's just difficult to read people.
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>>279410>I don't want to suck on a [spoiler]
As a lesbian with a DSD genetic condition, I remember my first gf as a teenager calling my clit "weird" and I haven't been in a relationship since. I've basically accepted it but it still stings to be reminded.
I struggle to look at people that very clearly have had plastic surgery they just look so uncanny and wrong to me. >>281648
You probably shouldn't let that one encounter hold you back. Teenagers are dumb.
That's true. It's the weird mix of "already insecure because of being attracted to women living in the bible belt" and "too many androgens made my body more masculine and that makes me feel out of place around women". I don't necessarily consider myself any more butch than your average tomboy either. But I feel almost like if I do try to put myself out there, I have to present myself as more masculine to make up for my body's development.
The only positive of the current troonery trend is that my body doesn't look too different from most ftms, but it feels more embarrassing to try to explain my health condition than I think it would be to say, "I'm on T" or something.
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Happy Sunday to my fellow lesbians who don't have faces or who are just stripy blobs
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Bump. The dumbass score is posting porn and sperging again.
My gf dated a mtf tranny for like years..and he was so abusive
and manipulative towards her I think it messed her up a bit it makes me so sad(and angry at that man) she has a hard time saying no to anything that at the end I have to help her stand up for herself I love her so much and will always treat her kindly and softly
Has anyone been in a relationship like this?? Like dated someone who was abused by a Tim ?
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I fixed it
Tag yourself I'm top right half face ripped off lesbian
I've had multiple close friends who were, so I kind of understand the "mindset" for how it goes on. Almost all of them were "TWAW" liberals who thought they should give him a chance (but some I talked to were fooled on dating apps or they were initially friends), and all had a denial phase and still used "she" when talking about him (I did the same thing when I had an emotionally manipulative TIM friend), but after a while they realized it was a man all along.
Is your GF some kind of gender-critical or open to the idea? Because a radfem blogger made a zine of artwork and writings from women who were hurt by TIMs (and not all of them are "transphobic", there are submissions from women with different kind of opinions), and she also has a "politically neutral" support group for it (similar to the zine, women with all kinds of opinions are allowed, but I assume that if you're in it, you're at least tolerant of radfems or gender-criticals).
I would’ve crapped myself and said a demon got into the computer and looked it up wtf>>281962
why? Do you think singledom is more likely for lesbians?
Piggybacking on this, what's you anons' stance on your girlfriend spending a lot of one-on-one time with a female friend?
Would you be okay with them having sleepovers, staying at each other's apartment all day or seeing each other more often than you see her? When is it "too much" for you, and does her sexuality matter? For example, would you be more upset at the friend being a lesbian/bi/an ex and staying at her place all day vs the friend being straight (that you know of) and them sleeping in the same bed alone? I feel like while in the case of a straight couple it'd be a definitive cause of breakup for most, with a lesbian couple + girl friend it's harder to draw a line, because they could actually just be "besties".
Me. I hate that I'm a goldstar because I hate my ugly body and now I'm too old 31
to reveal that I'm still an inexperienced virgin. I spent years thinking I'm """"bisexual"""" yet never dated or had sex with a man because they repulsed me and only had feelings for and desired other women. Actually makes me want to kys myself and try again in my next life. I'm so tired nonnas, I'm so jealous of everyone who grew up in a supportive environment and/or realized their sexuality at an early age when they got to experiment and develop
Yeah. I never understood why "just download an app" is given as advice to lesbians when you can get banned for not being "inclusive" on most of them, and I've never gotten a match on any dating app that resulted in doing anything in person. >>282024
Relatable. I'm so jealous of women who got to go on dates and experiment in their teens and 20s. At this point, I'd settle with fumbling around with a bored bi-curious woman as long as she doesn't have a boyfriend that wants a threesome. But I've talked to 30-33+ year old lesbians who never had a long term relationship, and they say they can get dates fine, they just don't tell that they're inexperienced.
Straight/bisexual people don't know how good they have it when they were able to experiment, fool around, learn all the relationship skills and become comfortable with sex in their teens and early 20's while we were too busy hiding or denying our true identities. I didn't come out as a lesbian until my late 20's after almost two decades of knowing it yet never admitting it to myself and by that point everyone had gotten over their gay until graduation phase and looked for a man to settle down and to start a family with.
Also I hate that the lesbians who are dating the same woman they did in high school or who have been out since they were 13 and dated a ton of women rarely understand how it feels like. When I read that "My lesbian experience with loneliness" book it was like having a third eye open when someone else was describing your feelings to such relatable degree. I dream about hot, passionate, fulfilling sex with a woman but in all honesty I would probably have a fucking panic attack if I had to take my clothes off in front of someone else but a medical professional. It legitimately makes me want to cry to know that my life turned out like this.
This might seem hypocritical coming from a married woman but I think a lot of you in here put too much stock in relationships. I've been around the block in my 31 years, and honestly the vast majority of relationships - both romantic and sexual - I would not repeat if I had a do-over of my life. Work on yourself, learn new things, exercise, volunteer at a local charity, get hobbies that take you out and about and help you to meet new people. Yeah, you probably won't meet "The One" (bullshit concept anyway) but fuck it, you'll have a richer life and hopefully make some awesome friends along the way. This "forever alone" mindset is toxic
. It eats away at your confidence and self-esteem and it's a huge repellent to anyone who might actually want to date you. As my wife loves to tell me when I'm being a miserable dick: you can't truly love someone else until you truly love yourself.
Yeah, I’m aware that dating apps are a trashfire, I just don’t know any alternative, since I don’t live in an accepting environment/country, so I can’t really go to events and try to meet lesbian women naturally or just be very
open about my sexuality, because I am a pussy ass bitch that is afraid of being a social outcast.
God I wish, my gf is a butch lesbian who was friends with tons of trannies pre pandemic (more like pre before we dated since lots of those friends were friends of her ex and we moved to a different city this year so she has no contact with them anymore) and she was raised on tumblr so she believes twaw or whatever.. we had recent fights about it because I’m pretty gender critical and well she isn’t unfortunately. I hope In time she peaks or something but I’m unsure since the last time we talked about this she said something about relating to trans woman and that made me want to throw up
Do you mind sharing the zine or website of the radfem you’ve mentioned?? I’d love to read it and maybe someday be able to show it to her
What breaks me is that I've known younger lesbians who have actually gotten opportunities to explore when I was scared and in the closet. Now trying to find someone to date with now as an adult is near impossible.>>282050
For real. It's always the ones who have had things fallen into place and don't have the fear that no one will ever find them worthy who act like everyone else who struggles to get a relationship.
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If I'd wear a butch cowboy outfit in a picture next to a balloon cow, would that inspire you to swipe right on me?
The zine is physical copy only (which might be hard if you live with people and hide your beliefs), but I checked the store and the copies are sold out. But it was created by kittyit on Tumblr, you can send her an ask on Tumblr about if there will be any reprints. It's called "You Told Me You Were Different" and I personally found it sad and insightful. Like I said it has submissions from women with various opinions (there's over 40 of them), some writings use the wrong pronouns like "she" or "they", others don't use any, and others outright say "he", "man", etc.
A lot of my friends who were assaulted by TIMs are still "allies" or tolerant towards transpeople as individuals, but they kind of took a "truscum" type attitude to it (ex. if transgender is a psychological condition where someone wants to change sex, then a man who wants to become female wouldn't be so eager to use his penis) and don't believe in the whole "if you say you're a woman, then you are one" BS anymore. One of my friends told me that she doesn't hate all TIMs, but she will NEVER be friends with a "translesbian" ever again, but is okay with gay TIMs who like men. So it's not mutually exclusive. I don't believe in TWAW either and I don't hate anyone, except rapists, which is why I'm willing to call a spade a spade for things like this.
Dude, are you me? We are in the exact same situation rn, it's crazy. A couple months ago my gf and I had another discussion where we each raised our own viewpoints and I asked her if she'd been doing any of her own research, because I've been good about using real life examples and studies. She said no, because she was afraid of what she'd find. I asked her if she wanted some links to resources and she said yes so I sent her some and we haven't talked about it again. Don't push her too hard anon, I went too hard because I was scared of losing her to this shit and feeling defensive, and I think that made her feel more caught in-between and anxious about the whole thing. Having friends who are actively involved in the cult makes it all worse. I still refer to my old highschool troon friend as she in front of her but I'm going to stop soon because it makes me feel like a hypocrite. Sorry for the huge blog it's just a shitty thing to be involved in. Especially for two young people who were practically 'raised in it'. There's still a sense of guilt and obligation to these people, especially when they used to be close friends who you respected and cared for.>>282108
Seconding your recommendation, I've read excerpts and it's strangely comforting to know that you didn't meet the one exception. Makes you feel less crazy.
Thank you for the recommendations! There’s lots of good resources on her blog and I really appreciate your replies>>282114
Your gf sounds more open minded than mines, but it does give me hope! Even though it sucks im a little glad to know I’m not alone in this kind of situation
I doubt you understand the issue here anon… the feeling of loneliness you experience after a breakup or being widowed is way different from never
having been loved, especially as a homosexual growing up with homophobia. When you've entered your 30's as a kissless virgin lesbian you have never received actual validation for your sexuality and battle with the intrusive thoughts telling you "maybe they're right and you're actually just straight and should try settling for a man". Even besides that lacking romantic and sexual experiences while the people around you treat them as natural as the air they breathe is soul crushing. Like said, it makes you feel inhumane and broken.
My thoughts too, I guess if you still haven't figured life out you can feel like a kid at 24 but a lot of them are already starting their careers and can take care of themselves, you're not a child in your mid 20's. When I was 24 I was dating a 28-year old woman and it didn't feel predatory at all and we were completely on the same page (had been living on our own for years, I was almost done with uni and already at my first job etc), I doubt a 30-year old would've been that much different. I'm now 31 and while I personally wouldn't date someone more than 5 years younger, I have to say that if we really clicked and it wasn't me being just a sugar mommy to some NEET who's mentally stuck at 15 (like a lot of those straight Reddit horror story relationships) but more of two grown adults I wouldn't say no to it. It's weird how terminally online zoomers seem to think it's acceptable and normal to be like a teenager when you're well into your 20's.
But like said, it's very situational. If it's a 35-year old picking up lesbians in their early 20's because she's "too immature and inexperienced" it does raise an eyebrow, but I would probably consider her more pathetic than predatory. Unless she's straight out abusing them, that's an entirely another story.
?? I'm just sharing my perspective and personal opinion since the other nonny
asked. By all means if she wants to go through with the relationship then just do it, it's not my life.