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Nominate your favourite moments for the 2023 Lolcow Awards!

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No. 350481

Please keep posts focused on women and female homosexuality! If you want to talk about attraction toward males it probably belongs in the bisexuality thread or questioning thread (check the catalog, they're usually not on the front page but I promise they exist!). Please ignore obvious bihet/troon/tradthot/fujo/etc rage bait as well. Remember that when we take the bait and infight the trannies win! If you suspect a poster is XY pls report and ignore instead of shitting up the entire thread with accusations. Newfags pls lurk and read the site rules before posting, and be careful to stay safe and anonymous (use a VPN, incognito mode, be wary of external links/discords, and be very cautious about the personal details you include in your posts).

Topics of discussion may include but are not limited to:
>first crush?
>what’s your local lesbian scene like?
>cute stories about your gf
>favourite lesbian media? lesbian media you hate?
>coming out stories
>are there any cows you’d uhaul with?
>bitch about being lonely
>tips for coping with being lonely
>butch? femme? how do you feel about labels?
>top? bottom? how do you feel about those labels?
>what's your type?
>when did you know you were gay?
>f/f fanfic and book recs (pls)
>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? which ones don’t fit you at all?
>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?
>what do you wanna be like as an old lady lesbian?
>get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etc
>best date/match? worst?
>how homophobic are your family/friends? is it woke homophobia or oldschool homophobia?
>dating app horror stories
>everything we hate about every other online lesbian community
>lesbian friends, role models, or family members you appreciate
>lesbian history, literature, and politics

previous threads:
#1- >>>/g/132141
#2- >>>/g/174105
#3- >>>/g/200981
#4- >>>/g/247377
#5- >>>/g/273508
#6- >>>/g/296902
#7- >>>/g/321065

No. 350482

hope i did it right and sorry if threadpic is repeated

No. 350515

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I rematched with a girl I blocked on an app like a year ago. (It was messy.) We matched on a different app where I use a nickname. I actually really come to like her. We went on a date and I'm planning another.

I'm praying that she doesn't remember me, but if we get serious and she meets my friends/ family she's going to hear my actual name (It's super uncommon)

Should I come clean or just ignore it? I feel like we're different people now and a past argument shouldn't matter. Though, I don't really know her enough to know if she holds grudges.

No. 350518

maybe you could tell her after a few more dates (but def before she meets your family) that its a nickname and your real name is ___?

No. 350530

I feel this, I would like a bigger and stronger butch to wrestle in bed with for once but because I'm a butch myself I only get bihet pillow princesses looking for a moid lite to protect and serve them until they find a real Nigel. It's a sad reality.

No. 350579

Matched with a cute butch woman on tinder and at some point after we matched she changed her bio from just lesbian to “pansexual non binary”, too bad. She’s obviously still a woman but I don’t want to feel like I’m just playing along when it comes to a romantic partner.

No. 350584

I really like to dominate butches. I’m not overly feminine just neutral ish ig but it’s sad how so many butch ladies get pushed into being moid lites. I’m so sorry and know there are some lesbians out here who like to please butches ya’ll are hot and deserve it

No. 350784

How do I look slightly more butch/masculine/intimidating without having to stop wearing makeup and long hair? Should I start trying to gain muscle? Get a nose piercing? I feel so dainty and passive.

No. 350792

You dont. Be yourself. Lol

No. 350811

> Get a nose piercing?
Please, nona, people woth nose piercings never look intimidating, they just look ridiculous

No. 350835

The nose piercing will just make you look like one of those TQ+ women imo and I agree with what >>350811 said. Compared to that, gaining muscle sounds much better idea. Do you already have a masculine clothing style, nonna?

No. 350874

not sure what exactly you're going for, but attitude and the way you hold yourself can impact how "masculine" you come off. if you feel passive then practice speaking up for yourself, being more proactive, speaking in a lower tone (not in a forced way, but if you regularly notice yourself pitching your voice higher for no reason when talking), standing and sitting up straight, etc. working out will always be good whether you're trying to come off more masculine or not

No. 350921

not being introvert in your body language will help a lot. Not shaving and bleaching your body hair will help too

No. 351031

Nonnas I finally told my crush how I feel about her after being head over heels for months and she said she likes me back. It's been weeks but I'm still in disbelief. She's so perfect in every way. I've never been in a relationship with a woman before even though I knew I leaned towards women my entire life, and this just feels so right in a way that my previous relationship with men didn't, even though they were good people. I can't believe I get to be with her of all people too.

For those of you in longterm lesbian relationships, how are things going? Any advice?

No. 351032

I wish there was a guide on how to hit on someone, I want to be the one taking the lead for the first time but I just don’t know how. I’m afraid she’ll mistake it as me trying to be friendly. Everyone in this group cuddles and spoons on sleepovers and gives massages to each other, all as just female friends showing attention. How do I make my attentions stand out as something different?

No. 351033

Awwww congrats nonna this is such a sweet post. I’ve been with my wife for eight years (we’re 32 and 30 now) and honestly as cliche as it is, always communicate and always make sure you want the same things and both wanna work for them to be possible. Respect is huge, same with knowing your gf’s love language and making sure she feels loved and appreciated. The little things mean more than the big gestures a lot of the time, but of course she should reciprocate in kind. Building each other up, being supportive, all that stuff that sounds so blah blah but really matters. Also having fun!!! Laughing together is so important imo. Even if it’s just watching a dumb show or playing a game. My wife and I like to watch stuff we know will be really bad (movies with less than 5 on IMDb for example) it’s like our lil game and we just riff the whole time and talk over it and even now I still get excited when we can have a bad movie night hehe

Wishing you so much happiness w your new lady, nonnabella!!! ♥

No. 351038

Congrats, going to live vicariously through you for a bit if it’s okay, nonny. For real, happy for you!

No. 351045

my skin crawls whenever I swipe left on a tim and i get the little "you missed a match!" show up. tinder pls stop reminding me that these men are even perceiving me

No. 351046

Ew what?? I haven’t been on tinder ever I didn’t know they did that kind of weird manipulation shit when you swipe left on someone who right swiped you. So gross, sounds like something a scrote invented.

No. 351049

it's to try to entice you into buying a subscription but it just makes me want to leave the app more and more.

No. 351051

>"you missed a match!"

No shit because they right swipe everybody because that's what men do.

No. 351178

few days late, but i'm the same as the other nona. i'm not really fem or anything, but androgynous/butch women are my preference, and i always worry that they either want a more feminine woman or at the very least a submissive one…now i'm starting to think maybe this isn't the case kek.

No. 351240

I'm so tired of having to carry the conversation when dating. And when she does respond its to complain about work/ other bullshit. She never asks me anything about myself…

No. 351341

Oh nona, I don’t think it’s in the stars…it is better to decide to stop chasing cold, distant people (speaking as someone who does)

No. 351409

For nonnas in a LT relationship, how do you deal with the desire to look elsewhere ? I hate myself for having these thoughts and desires but they are there. Cheating on or leaving my girlfriend is obviously not an option.

No. 351416

"What you judge won't budge." When you stop hating these thoughts and yourself for having them, they will go away. They seem to trouble you because you love your girlfriend, value loyalty, and your relationship is a real priority in your life. Those are all wonderful things so of course the thought that you might ruin it all would frighten you. But thoughts are just thoughts. Try reading some of the book Overcoming Intrusive Thoughts by Doctors Sally M. Winston and Martin N. Seif. The language is easy to understand and you won't even need to read the entire book to gain a new perspective on intrusive thoughts. You can find it on libgen or Z-library I'm sure.

No. 351625

I'm pretty disappointed in my options for women around me. There's probably about 1 they/them or she/they out of every 3 normal women in my experience. Plus the women who then just turn out to be looking for women for their creepy boyfriend to have sex with. Also just a ton of creepy men stalking the platform (on Bumble). As for the normal women, they're pretty much always into concerts, bars, and sports, none of which I find relatable at all. Any of the women into the same stuff as me have crazy pronouns, boyfriends, or are severely overweight. I'm probably going to die alone, but I'm not that upset about it. It's a bit frustrating how bad the options are, but I don't mind just staying single.

No. 351698

You think women never have sexual thoughts of others than their partner? Or did you think the T stands for tranny or something.

No. 351730

LT stands for long term relationship.

No. 351747

I remember dating being like this. It was so miserable. Being into nerdy shit and hating concerts/clubs shrinks your dating pool. It might be frustrating (especially with the unicorn hunters and men) but you might find someone you like!

I personally am a bit nerdy with a big love for anime events (not cons, they're more like anime themed parties). I personally really want a gf who'll tag along with me, possibly cosplay and show me her hobbies. I need a nerdy gf who gets me

No. 351760

Thanks for your advice, I'll take a look. But I must add that beyond the guilt I feel these thoughts inside me. I'm horny as fuck.

No. 351796

I rarely go out anymore so I never have the chance. But I'm one year into my relationship with my girlfriend and I frequently find myself missing nights out with friends, casual flirting, and just in general feel carefree and open instead of caged. I moved to a new city and met my girlfriend the first week I was there. I've always been in long term relationships and wish I let myself be single for longer. My girlfriend is very introverted and never wants to go out, in fact she wants to leave the city, move to the burbs, and have IVF babies eventually. I love her so much and wish I could get rid of this part of me.

No. 351903

Because I've been seething about this for weeks and I need to get the poison out of me. Every time I see that picture of the gay mens choir where most of the members died of AIDs, which is fucking awful, but everyone waves it like a flag as to why there's no "Gay elders" and why young people have to "fight the fight".

Nobody talks about the lesbians. And it just rubs in more how nobody cares about lesbians, nobody knows lesbian history, they all just hate us because we're all terfy bigots because we don't want TiMs in our beds.

sage for sperging.

No. 351907

They don't care about us because we're women. Women are so irrelevant than even religions didn't give a damn about female homosexuality

No. 351950

I am having the exact same experience right now nona. Women with anything in common with me have pronouns, and the ones who don't have interests that don't match mine at all. There are also just SO many men, both tims and regular ass men

No. 352126

>always meet women who match up with me personality-wise or aspiration-wise but never both
I feel like I can never win…

No. 352134

Aspiration wise? What do you mean by that?

If your personalities are similar, there has to be something you have in common.

No. 352155

By aspirations I meant that our futures or goals for the future lined up, but I didn't know how else to word it. Usually if I meet someone who I really get along with and that I think I mesh well with, our futures end up looking very different and are incompatible.

No. 352326

>Be me
>Realize I'm a lesbian in my early teens
>Date a cute girl and enjoy every second of it
>Suddenly overcome with huge amounts of internalized homophobia and self awareness in my late teens due to moving to a more conservative environment
>While simultaneously setting everyone's gaydars off just screaming at people, women flirt with me all the time
>Am actually a really attractive butch if I might say so myself, good looking face, well mannered, charismatic, well spoken, funny, good conversationalist, muscular, very promising career prospects
>B-but no, I-I can't, nonnies! I-I'm not a lesbian! I'm normal! B-bisexual at most!
>Become the boyfriend experience for every LUG nevertheless but refusing any relationships because no-no, not a lesbian! Just having fun, h-haha!
>Late 20's
>Depression hits me like a dump truck and it's made even worse by the pandemic and social isolation
>Early 30's
>Have an epiphany after realizing that you're in your 30's now and you still never in your life have felt sexual feelings towards men or found them attractive
>I guess I better finally accept it and start living my life true to myself, a real movie moment
>However, all the numerous girls that surrounded you are gone now
>They're dating men and some of them even had kids with them, even the ones who swore up and down on their lesbianism
>The ones who didn't trooned out and the new lesbians you meet are the most boring kind of wine&travel normies that you are just are utterly unable to connect with
>Your own looks are fading and the mental damage depression has crippled your ability to forge interpersonal relationships, you're not the cute and fun 23-year old heartthrob experiment anymore
>Constant awkwardness among my peers and coworkers seeing them talk about their kids while I'm there trying to hide the fact that I'm childless, single and not straight to avoid looking like more of a freak to them than I already do looking like a haggard middle aged dyke
>Genuinely think about ending it all when I come back home to my empty apartment that will stay empty probably for the rest of my life
Young lesbos, do one thing for me and please embrace what you are and live out your best life as far as you can. I don't know why I wrote this, I guess this is just the only place where I could imagine at least one person will get it. Sorry.

No. 352328

Your story touches my heart nonnie. Internalised homophobia is a terrible affliction. Over the years you may have deteriorated in some ways, but that lovely, sensitive soul has always been yours. You're still lovable. We can accept that we are lonely/single right now without "accepting" that we'll be lonely/single forever. There's a difference between acknowledging our current pain and hopelessness, and giving up entirely.
The world is a crazy place, who knows what will happen and who you'll meet. I'm still rooting for you and your future wife, and your happiness in general.

No. 352332

Aw thanks nonnie. I don't have a lot of lesbian friends (in other words, none) so I don't really get to talk about this enough to gather my thoughts regarding it, so it ends up feeling like an endless void inside of me that keeps growing and becoming heavier the more I suppress it. It's really, really hard and painful to fake being happy for my friends who get engaged and move on with their lives and I genuinely do wish them all the best, but I just wish it was me for once. Internalized homophobia is a life-ruining bitch and the "why does everything have to be gay now!" whining comes from such a massive place of privilege, maybe if we had the representation we do now when I was younger I wouldn't be here picking out the best rope for myself. Being loved and accepted is a basic need after physiological needs and we as a society tend to forget about that a lot. Anyway thanks for your reply. It feels nice being heard for once.

No. 352333

Yes, it hurts the more you keep it bottled up, and the worst part is that your feelings are totally natural and expected, yet still seem inappropriate to some. Envy included. It's painful to watch others have joyous experiences that seem so far away (and at times impossible) for us.
Have you tried journaling? It's not the same as talking to another person who understands, but at least you can get it out of your head. And you don't need me to tell you this, but you're always welcome ITT. /lg/ is rather hit or miss but there's no shortage of women who know your pain.

No. 352382

young 20's lesbian, i'll do my best nonnie. Just got out of a 'passionate' friendship with a girl who may be bi but will date men exclusively for the rest of her life. it's tough out here too, and i wish there were any actual single, interesting lesbians within like 50 miles of me. I don't think it's too late for you though.maybe she's not out there right now because she hasn't come out yet herself, or is in the midst of ending a previous relationship.

No. 352463

it's pretty wild to be a lesbian in one of the most renown "gay friendly" cities in the world and feel so alone and "other." when i met my ex in 2018 everything felt so much easier and not saturated in queer pronoun bullshit. now, trying to date again, i don't even know where to start. i wish i had something more positive to say. i wouldn't ever trade being a lesbian for being straight but times are tough. in any case, manifesting a sweet cute normal girlfriend to not have to talk about identity politics with.

No. 353505

How to deal with feeling lesser in a relationship than if I were a man?
She's a lesbian, but for some reason I'm convinced that she'd prefer me if I were a man or if I transitioned. I've considered "testing" by asking if she'd mind if I got top surgery and took hormones which I won't do because that's toxic and nuts.
It's definitely me projecting my own dysphoria onto her preferences. She's made no complaints about my body and she likes female anatomy as much as I do, but because she likes my androgyny and because of her sexual preferences I'm able to extrapolate my nonsense. There's just a nagging in my head that it's true.
I've tried accepting that she can leave me and I'll be fine afterwards. I've tried looking at things logically. Am I just going to be low level insane about it on-and-off forever?

No. 353511

Sounds like internalised homophobia and misogyny is eating away at you. You won't be feeling like this forever and you CAN overcome it. In short, you need to undo society's brainwashing and remember that being a woman is not just the only thing you can be, but the BEST thing you can be.
I think a good way to start doing that is to embrace your femaleness in every aspect of your life. It might feel silly at flrst, but you can try making lists of everything you love about being a woman, about being a lesbian, and your unique advantages over men or things that are exclusive to the female experience. Ask your girlfriend to do the same, and any other close female/lesbian friends of yours. Hell, you could ask any random woman what she likes about her sex, just to see how diverse we are in the things that we notice and value.
You don't have to explain to these people the exact reason for your questions or anything about your struggles, but I would encourage you to open up about how you've been feeling to people you can trust. Your feelings are more relatable than you realise, and feeling alone or "insane" is a big contributor to your suffering. To me it seems that one of the main components of this problem is shame: you're ashamed of your insecurities and your dysphoria. Take a look at vidrel for more information on shame: where it comes from, how it binds us, and what to do about it.
Also, if you're interested in the fantasy or myth genres, spiritualism, or even just writing, you might like the book The Heroine's Journey by Maureen Murdock. It's all about the return to and acceptance of femaleness, and you'll see that countless women have rejected themselves just as you have. You are not alone in this and you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Normally I would recommend therapy, but the field's been overrun by genderism and they'd probably push you to transition. All I can say is that if you do go that route, don't talk about dysphoria itself until you really trust that person. Stick to working on self-esteem and emotional regulation. Of course you can do those things by yourself, too, but it does help to have people around guiding you and keeping you accountable.
Every time you have those thoughts "it would be better if I was a man" or anything like that, just… pause. Take a moment to notice that you've done it again. Don't beat yourself up or try to quickly change the subject, in fact don't do anything. All you need to do is be aware of it, and to know that it's just a thought you had, not at all a statement of fact.
I hope these ideas are helpful in some way, and that as time goes on you gain some more clarity about yourself and your feelings. I'm wishing all the best to you and your girlfriend. One day at a time, Nona. You'll make it. You're already on your way to a peaceful life full of love.

No. 353512

If it makes you feel more confident, I have a crush in head over heels for and I love her androgyny but would NEVER want her to be a man. The androgyny is sexy because she’s a woman… which I realize doesn’t make much sense when you try to put it to words but it’s true.

No. 353515

Stop being obsessed with yourself. You’re supposed to be obsessed with her in this relationship but you’re spending a bunch of time imagining what she thinks of you… waste of time. Selfish. Have some more confidence in yourself, you literally have a girlfriend, you won, you are in a relationship stop trying to sabotage it because you don’t think you’re enough.

No. 353552

>read reviews for a lesbian graphic novel
>one reviewer bumps her score down because a butch and femme couple is stereotypical
>she wishes it was 2 really girly lesbians shopping for dresses and painting each other’s nails and sharing high heels
Wtf is people’s obsession with the most superficial ideas of femininity. Why even go on about stereotypes only to beg for the most common type of fictional lesbian couple but with shallow tropes?

No. 353631

Nonas, do you have any tips for telling if a woman who has historically dated men is actually into you or genuinely loves you but only as a friend? (maybe such women will see this bumped in /g/ and reply to me lol) I am a lifelong febfem and weirdwoman, pretty confident socially and in romance atp due to many years of normal dating and hooking up with women despite being lonely and terminally online in my early 20s like all of us…. but recently confessed feelings to a very close bisexual friend of mine believing 100% that she felt the same way, and she was really nice about it, but said she had no idea about my feelings and had never thought about me that way. I was totally blindsided. We were spending a lot of 1-on-1 time together including very datey late night activities and trips, she touched me all the time for no reason, waiters and coworkers assumed we were dating, we would say we loved each other, etc. Obviously friends can do those things but I just got vibes so strongly. Some friends are saying she probably did have feelings or at least enjoyed RPing feelings with a girl but now has cold feet, and others are saying she was fr and girls are just friends like that sometimes. I never had a friendship like that with a girl so i don’t know about it… It felt really good to fall in love this way instead of on an app and im really feeling silly and set back in my social progress.

No. 353640

I’m sorry you experienced that nonna. I agree with what others have said, she either got cold feet because she’s never been with a girl, or she was enjoying the LARP. My first gf was like that, and it was because she was very afraid to fully “come out” and date a girl. She eventually did tho and now is a proud lesbian. I’m sorry you may have gotten used by a girl tho, sometimes straight girls do that shit knowing full well what they’re doing and it’s really mean.

No. 353657

I know 23 isn’t ancient or anything, but it’s still hard to be single (and friendless but that’s another problem) and see couples all around me. I could tell myself it’s just easier for straight people to find someone, which isn’t untrue, but I still see a number of gay couples around and it’s tough to stay optimistic.

No. 353680

God idk but this is happening to me right now. Even my therapist says she’s treating me like a partner and to be careful. It’s so awkward bc I did talk to her about it once and she said she couldn’t reciprocate my feelings, but she constantly treats me like we’re together.

No. 353685

have also experienced this, and it only ended when she pulled away herself. i guess the 'passionate female friendships' you see in fiction are real after all and it's all fun and games until one of you is Actually attracted to women (and actually sees herself with one in the future)

No. 353771

Ayrt. Yeah, it’s a nightmare and not even the first time something similar has happened. It’s like I’m a magnet for intense friendships with women who have no idea what they want. With this one, I told myself I wouldn’t let it happen again but here we are, and idk if it would be better to just break off contact or try and remain friends but put more boundaries in place (because it’s too hard for me to shut my feelings off as things are now).

No. 353848

I’m glad I’m not the only one. I actually returned to the thread to keep talking about her and I was happy to see your reply. Anyways, I still think about her every day, and I still am constantly running into little things that remind me of her. I wonder if she knew the whole time that I was in love with her and yet continued letting me dote on her and make her laugh and cook for her or if she really never saw herself as anything more than a friend to me. Sometimes I fantasize about confessing all of this to her, but it’s been months since we last spoke and we left off on bad terms, and regardless she has a long term boyfriend, and it would do nothing but make her feel awkward or perhaps even repulsed that someone she was so close to her was in love with her. So I’m posting on here again because she’ll never see it.

No. 353915

anyone know of any good lesbian otome games??? pls

No. 353973

Man, I’m sorry. It sounds like our people are pretty similar. Mine has also been in a LTR with a man but she still confuses me so much. She’s always getting me gifts or using metaphors to speak about how much I mean to her. When I did confess, she didn’t say she “didn’t” reciprocate, but that she “couldn’t”, and it didn’t seem to deter her from being overly personal with me at all. I know that’s me being hopeful and reading too much into it, but I wish if there was actually something behind these things, she’d just be upfront about it. She goes out of her way to protect her Nigel so much when he’s the most boring dude ever and I think maybe she just feels safe with him or like it’s been too long to leave. I know I’m wasting my time letting my feelings for her stew, but it’s hard to pull yourself away sometimes.

No. 353976

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I was also looking for some lesbian visual novels the other day, but most of them seem like bland scrote shit with the same animu faces unfortunately. I recently found out about 'A Summer's End - Hong Kong 1986' and I haven't played it much yet to make a judgement of it, but it looks promising!

No. 353977

File: 1697829273014.jpg (1.05 MB, 2039x2894, redrebellion.jpg)

It's more of a vn then an otome game but I been looking forwards to this one. The game won't be out until next year though.

No. 354010

NTA I have played it and it's fantastic imo. Great art and genuinely interesting story in a setting we rarely see. It's a VN though, not an Otome. You don't get to make a lot of choices.

No. 354091

NTA but all the stuff about being woman being a huge spiritual celebration never helped me because it all centers back to shaming me for not feeling blessed to be a woman and loving all my womanly traits like being able to become pregnant or having breasts that cause me physical discomfort. I just want to not think about my gender at all but the society around me forces me to, gendies or not. I also don't think anon's problem was hating being a woman per se, but instead the fear that her girlfriend would prefer her to be a man because that would be "easier" to deal with. The overwhelming majority of bisexual women pick a heterosexual relationship because it's just much less trouble due to being the social normal. I often feel that there's a fundamental misunderstanding on just why butches and GNC women troon out so much these days, it's not that they really "hate being a woman" but they hate being rejected by society, are given no representation at all and being made to feel like they have no human value.

No. 354099

I hope that the everything is going good for the nonner who's wife got pregnant

No. 354113

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I told my girlfriend that my sister said that she (my girlfriend) doesn't actually love me and is just pretending to be in love. My girlfriend cried and said that I shouldn't rely on other people's judgement to understand her. Then she left. I'm not going to be seeing her in a week. What do I do now? She hasn't sent me any texts after that.

No. 354115

AYRT. I hadn't thought of it from that perspective and I can see how, if that's what OP was really struggling with, then I had a fundamental misunderstanding of her worries, making my advice ineffective at best and harmful at worst. Thank you for chiming in. Do you have any suggestions for that poster? Anything that's worked for you?
If the main problem is societal rejection then IMO a good approach could be (1) serenity and (2) found family. Serenity meaning letting go of that which we cannot control— namely rejection by others— and refocusing on that which is within our power— accepting ourselves as we are. Also a myriad of other things like curating our environments and consumption, escaping dangerous locations, pruning our social circles. That's what I mean about found family. We have the power and the responsibility to surround ourselves with loving people whom we cherish in turn. Obviously that's easier said than done but, butch lesbian or not, loneliness kills. A third thing, I guess, would be some kind of advocacy, a way to "give back" to other women and girls who might be struggling in the same way.
But this is all pretty general advice, and potentially still way off mark. I guess that's what happens when you consult anonymous posters on a free range cattle herding forum.

No. 354117

> I am a lifelong febfem and weirdwoman, pretty confident socially and in romance atp due to many years of normal dating and hooking up with women despite being lonely and terminally online in my early 20s like all of us….
How did you do it? Asking for a friend

No. 354124

that sounds… weird. maybe im missing more context, but she didn't reassure you about your relationship? anyone would've picked up on that unless they're a vegetable

No. 354128

Why would you tell her your sister said that you idiot? That’s so hurtful.

No. 354140

It's so nice to have a crush and I just feel so giddy. She's really beautiful and I just want to spend time with her. Since winter is coming I want to get the courage to ask her on a date to go to a local Christmas market when it rolls around but I'm already a bit petrified that she might reject me. I want to keep this giddy butterfly feeling a little longer if so kek

No. 354155

my loneliness is killing me so hard that ive become tempted to download tinder and put myself out there that way but just the thought of it makes me so anxious. first of all wghat if its full of trannies or hets ''looking for a third'' or aaaaa i simply hate the idea of meeting people online in general..
but i geniuenly have no idea where else to possibly find some lesbian dating prospects. id MUCH rather try to find ppl irl vs online dating. i hate it here

No. 354161

The reveals here that both these women had men on deck already was a good sign neither of you should have confessed… they may very well have been really into both of you but couldn't do anything because they were already in relationships. and if they had done anything, they would have been shittier people than they are. yeah, moids are moids and deserve nothing but the kind of girl who'd cheat with you or drop their boyfriend's ass the instant someone else showed interest is the type who'd do the same to you if you got together (and I'm sure I don't need to tell you that polyamory is for subhumans). the good news is that you're both hot and fun and you just gotta direct that energy toward available women.

No. 354165

Oh, in my case I never did confess. You’re right though, I’d thought through it multiple times and her immediately cheating on her boyfriend to be with me would have been a red flag anyways

No. 354169

Oh word, sorry to go off without reading it right.

No. 354179

Anyone have any experience dating single lesbian moms? I really like older women, and a lot of them already have kids from old marriages. Lots of them were basically forced to act straight for years, but there’s a few bi ladies there too

No. 354183

I have, and it can be wonderful but don’t get involved unless you wanna get serious about them AND their kid/s. I dated a woman with a kid and got attached to the kid and when it didn’t work out it was extra heartbreaking. Luckily we are friends now and I still get to be involved in her kid’s life in normal “friend/auntie” kind of ways but I know people who it didn’t go that way for so it’s just an extra layer of sad. As a whole tho I say go for it, single moms need and deserve love and partnership and to be treated like women separate from just being moms. Ily for considering them nonna ♥

No. 354209

ayrt this was a real conscious process so i will share my steps

>get uninvolved with codependent internet bff/gf

>get on tinder and meet aimlessly with women who seem nice to chat with
>(lose weight to normal bmi through r/loseit method )
>do things alone like travelling and going to movies and concerts so i have lots of interesting anecdotes to tell
>start a small school program full of normie people my age who all hung out together
>do everything i get invited to and also invite people to do things especially in groups until they realize I am nice and fun
>become normaler

whole process took about 4 years and i started around 22/23 (but I know women, especially gay women, who have done same or similar into their 30s). Also ty everyone for thoughts on my romantic situation

No. 354210

do you lesbian nonas have longer ring index fingers than index fingers? I asked all of my straight friends and their index fingers were longer. Pop science but just curious about you guys too

No. 354296

just checked and mine are about the same on both hands

No. 354303

both my ring fingers are longer by about 1cm/half an inch

No. 354306

Is this some kind of lesbian gene indicator? Can same sex attraction be determined by finger length ratio? You got me staring hard at my and my gf's hands nonny kek my ring fingers are longer, hers are shorter

No. 354313

I want to apologise for being homophobic in the previous lesbian general.

No. 354320

It’s a supposed sign of prenatal testosterone exposure in the womb which supposedly leads to masculine traits in women but I think it’s pseudoscience mostly.

No. 354334

I forgive you, nonny.

No. 354373

Yup my ring finger is longer. I know people say pseudoscience but it’s been pretty accurate in my xp

No. 354679

So I've somehow gone years having sex with women without a strap and want to try it out and see if I enjoy the positions it opens up for me. The boxer ones seem fundamentally goofy to me and I can't understand how it would not flop around and break rhythm, feels like a leather harness makes more sense? Please advise.

No. 354712

File: 1698163327668.gif (289.26 KB, 498x291, lonely-girl-come-back.gif)

Nonas, do you have any experience dating autistic women? Or could you offer any advice regarding how they express their affection? I'm unsure if a girl I've been talking to for the past few weeks is even interested in further pursuing a relationship. She's been pretty distant lately, she doesn't really write much, but she haven't told me that it won't work out. I don't know if it's a neurodivergent thing or if she really just lost interest. I'm pretty lost when it comes to relationships as well, don't really have an understanding on the concept of love, but I do want closeness. I'm just unsure if there are any boundaries I should be aware of, or accomodations I should make.

No. 354748

Sorry to be annoying especially since this was a few days ago, but just to clarify: otome specifically means a game where you play as a woman pursuing men. Some otome will have female routes, but typically they are "friendship routes" with occasional romantic undertones, and this isn't very common anymore. What you really want to look for are yuri VNs. Problem is that most of them cater to men.

Your best bet is to look for western-made visual novels that have both male and female love interests so that you can choose who you want to pursue. Try searching "amare games" as that's the definition decided upon for this type of game with mixed gender LIs. You can check itch.io, but some examples are When the Night Comes, Errant Kingdom, and Arcade Spirits. You can also check out the creator "ebi-hime" on itch.io as they create lots of different LGBT+ visual novels, quite a few of which are yuri games.

Just wanted to clarify so that you would have an easier time finding games in the future!

No. 354948

i'm a kinsey 4-ish bisexual and my ring fingers are longer

No. 355056

File: 1698253405847.jpeg (71.96 KB, 625x833, IMG_1831.jpeg)

Nonnas, I am craving positivity. Can you tell me some good things you love about your girlfriend/fiancée/wife? Like what is she good at? What does she do that makes you laugh? What drew you to her to begin with?

No. 355065

I heard my wife’s laugh across the bar and it was so loud and joyful and a little raspy, I loved the sound so much (am an music autist and singer w very sensitive hearing so sounds really can move me sometimes) I turned to see who laughed like that and it was her and I knew I had to talk to her. Her smile is so cheeky and big and she has the cutest dimples and big dark eyes that were so mischievous that night. We spent like four hours talking and ignoring the friends we had come there with, and now eight years and two kids later the rest is history. She makes me laugh every day and she stands up for me when I am too timid and I try my best to be the best wife I can to her. I love making food for her since she works full time and comes home hungry, and I love giving her massages because it makes her happy and also she has such a beautiful back it makes me want to cry. Ok I’m done wifesperging kek I can’t stop smiling thinking about her tbh

No. 355192

This is so freaking sweet and exactly the kind of stuff I want to hear about. I’m so happy you found her, nonna! Wish you two many good years ahead!

No. 355348

I love butches and the idea of one I'm dating deciding to transition is my worst nightmare. If that helps.

No. 355624

File: 1698502432036.png (1.34 MB, 966x1063, F3VsyP0WMAANFa8.png)

Girlfriend of 5 years. Met online, did ldr for about 2 years (It was very painful, but worked out). I love how sweet and caring she is. Completely contrasts my cold exterior. I can show sides of myself that my own family and friends haven't witnessed around her. We have a height difference with me being the taller. So it's cute when she tells me how safe she feels around me and how she feels protected. We both understand each other on a level I couldn't find anywhere else. I have a huge attraction to her long hair and freckles.

No. 355628

Awww, this is so sweet, I love it. I hope one day to meet a woman like your gf and experience the same thing. I hope your relationship only grows stronger!

No. 355697

Wishing and willing your future wife to cross your path. Thank you, nonna.

No. 355805

Does anyone know how the lesbian scene down in Louisville is? Im moving soon from a small town and when I visited I saw a bunch of rainbow flags but almost all of them had the retarded tranny chevron on them and I even saw a few TIMs when I was there. I gave up trying in my area (even dated a man for like a week and realized that I’m definitely a lesbian) so I’m excited to try a new place but I’m worried it’ll be infested with trannies.

No. 355809

nonna i'm probably too young for you but you are my exact type. we're all on the same struggle bus here but maybe you'll run into me one day without realizing

No. 355891

I feel this so much except I wasn't surrounded by girls when I was younger. I was often the only lesbian in my online friend groups and I lost my friends after high school. I've accepted I'll die alone which is why it stings to see straight (and bi ofc) women my age with a family and kids, I feel broken for not wanting that but I really wasn't given any other option to live.

No. 355941

File: 1698701296902.jpg (53.47 KB, 350x498, 2b69476cf7ec03d473c2367ea66c62…)

Alison Bechdel looks so fucking cool and she's a style inspiration to me, I want to have even half of her swag as a grandma butch. I don't care if this makes me an ~Aiden~, I like that she's presenting as unapologetically non-genderconforming and looking so good doing it. Sorry for sperging but I'm so desperate for butch role models like this.

No. 355989

File: 1698737603108.jpg (75.72 KB, 736x736, 56d537b9f8f0f5369375bb739a5bc5…)

so…i already tried asking everywhere, but i really wanted to at this thread.
where do i find lesbian friends online? maybe there are some lesbian discord servers i don't know about…

No. 356036

I feel like they're overrun with trannies. I was in a group for a while a couple years back, there was some controversy but they opened the server up to trannies and it quickly went downhill

No. 356052

that's actually really sad bc i don't want trannies anywhere near me

No. 356055

There are lesbian servers but you’re going to have to do a deep dive on tumblr for that.

No. 356078

Nonnies, how do you cope with the fear of putting yourself out? Just feeling miserable rn, so maybe someone had the experience. I am mid-20s and unexperienced and want to start using the apps to meet women, but I am always stopped by my fear of being ridiculed and cruelly rejected. I just clam up at the idea of putting my profile up for it to be scrutinized by hundreds if not thousands of randos

No. 356089

just remember that we all are different and there will always be bad apples, but mostly you'll be just fine! good luck finding gf!

No. 356228

Do any nonnas have any experience or tips on meeting women in "natural" settings? I'm fine dying a virgin with no romantic life to speak of, I just want to know if it's possible or not. I don't want to use dating apps or go to gay bars so I'm basically putting myself on hard mode, I live in a progressive city though so it's not like gay women are extinct here.

No. 356506

Does anyone else have no friends outside of your girlfriend? If so, how did you fix it? Both my gf and I work stressful jobs and we both were new to the city when we met. We've been together two years and we really don't hang out with anyone else. I want to cultivate a friend group but it's difficult to do when you have real life responsibilities. I dread how alone and miserable I'd feel if we broke up.

No. 356685

Go out together and try to meet other couples

No. 356754

Hey nonnas how long has your lesbian-brand stint of celibacy gone on for?

Officially for me, I just ended 5 years…

No. 356784

um, for life. lol

No. 356791

and why is that?

No. 356794

Why am I still a virgin? Excellent question but I’m about to go to bed and rather than write a long self loathing paragraph I’ll say it’s because I’m very picky (excluding anyone with a gender identity and osa women tends to narrow ones pool) and because I come off as a bit prickly to people, I think.

No. 356799

how old are you nona?

No. 356823

NTA & I'm not a burger so it may be different over the US, but over here I haven't met a single lesbian yet (well, one, but she was an aiden) and while I have met lots of bisexual women, all of were dating men already, so I haven't had the chance to even give my first kiss yet kek

No. 356826

My whole life. LMAO

No. 356839

No. 356848

6 years and regret nothing, but wouldn't mind ending it one day tho

No. 356894

I know exactly how you feel. Even though the 5 years was kind of grueling, I would rather wait for someone who matters than waste it with heart break or for some asshole.

I've honestly been dating for about 2 years now and not a single person until recently has been decent.


Same finding a lesbian has been so rare in 2 years of many dates I have only actually met 2…

I'm seeing a bisexual woman now. But she seems nice enough. She has said nothing about gender issues and is actually competent sexual. Like she doesn't expect me to become her man.

No. 356895

>would rather wait for someone who matters than waste it with heart break or for some asshole
Yep same. It's already been 2 years for me but I'm giving up the hunt and going volcel now. Genuinely think I'll be happier this way.

No. 356904

i haven't been dating since breaking up with my ex, but i tried going on dates. honestly, i'm more into slow burn and e-dating, but suck at it

No. 357014

How do I get over my anxiety about dating. For one, I'm 22 and have never dated or even had my first kiss. I was around 8 years old when I had my first crush on a girl my age and up until 13, I had increasing interest in girls and fear of the inevitable. I did however tell my mom at this age and am lucky to not have a crazy family. But since adolescence my sexuality was used as a way to degrade me when my family would get mad at me.

I was also shamed for my supposed sexuality from a young age, around 6 I would be accused of trying to get certain type of attention by my mom. I was also sexually harassed/assaulted by 4 different men since before the age of 8. The first time was at a homeless shelter where me and my sister were both assaulted by a stranger at the same time. She remembers it more than me but I remember his face. The second time was when I was around 7 where a man commented about my butt as I walked by (It took me years to stop walking in a way that would not make my butt "stick out" out of fear of someone looking at me). 3rd time was a family friend making me sit on his lap when i was alone with him, I was 8/9 and 4th time was an older boy in the neighborhood who said he'd kill me if I told anyone he touched me inappropriately.

I know this is a lot of information but the point I'm trying to make is that my relationship with dating and sex is fucked up and I think it's fucked up because of what happened when I was a child. At the same time, I also think that theres tons of other women who've had this experience so what is so wrong with me that I'm afraid of putting myself out there. I know the surface level things I tell myself, that I don't look mature enough and no one will find me attractive and that my body is not in shape enough so I've been working on those things because I can change them but I'm worried that I will be finished working on my body and confidence in my looks and the ramifications of my past will still hinder me and then I'll end up alone. I just don't even know what to do and I feel like the longer I wait the more unattractive and immature I'm going to seem because no one wants to date an old childish virgin.

No. 357060

There's the common stereotype of young lesbians having very intense friendships with another girl, with the reasoning being that she secretly had a crush on this girl. I'm a lesbian and I've had a variety of intense female friendships in my life, but I truly haven't been attracted to them. I'm in college and everyone thinks my best friend and I are dating, even our families, but I'm not interested in her in that way. It just feels so weird to even imagine. I love her as a friend but not like that. Does anyone else have this?? Is it weird that I get so attached?

No. 357074

Yeah I'm on the same boat. My best friend and I have been friends since we were just 3yo, we went together to the same pre-school and due to life also ended up studying the same thing on collegue & we are thinking of being roomates since the current economy doesn't let a person rent alone. The first thing people ask me when they find out I'm lesbian is for how long we have been dating. Sometimes I kind of wish I were attracted to her though, I don't know if I will ever find someone else I connect this well with, but for better or worse I hold negative romantic/sexual attraction towards her.

No. 357145

I had crushes on my friends, but it was because I saw them as a much cooler people than I am. Since I overcame it I haven’t had crushes on any other new friends.

No. 357270

Sometimes I wonder why I bother popping in on this site. Every time I see an OSA women insinuate lesbians must have it better even though I've resided myself to a life of loneliness and facing violence for my sexuality, I lose more sympathy for them. Every "female-only space" I've been in online and IRL devolves into lesbophobia, but I barely have any lesbian friends my age and I don't have access to any in-person scenes. I'm starting to become more receptive to lesbian separatism every day.

No. 357578

Hello, butch lurker from the older threads here. Asking in case other butches read this. Even though I don't plan to transition or anything how do I stop comparing myself to men physically? I legitimately think I have an inferiority complex when it comes to how much smaller, shorter and physically weaker I am even though I know rationally that it's an absurd comparison and that there's nothing wrong with me. Plus I have a warped self-image too, like my hips aren't ridiculously wide or anything but sometimes I get hit with the impression that they're super wide for no reason. I don't know, I don't even want to fixate on how my body looks of all things so much.

No. 357604

had a date with a woman and really hit it off, but i'm afraid she'll turn on me when i admit i don't believe in twaw. hoping it isn't a deal breaker!

No. 357974

I'm not butch, but this makes me sad because the thing that makes butches so appealing is that they AREN'T men. Female masculinity is beautiful, the physical differences between men and women are the point. The contrast between a butch being female while dressing and behaving in ways that are socially considered masculine is why it's so special. Do you have a strong lesbian community irl? I feel like the more time you spend around lesbians only, the less you think of men at all. They become a non-factor, totally irrelevant, you can't even be that upset about them because they don't exist in our world. I'm sure you're wonderful as you are, and there are tons of femmes who would be rushing to tell you the same.

No. 358122

where are the "strong lesbian communities" lol? i feel like if you aren't in with a lesbian friend group, you have no community. it's not like gay men where you can just go to a bar. even when i lived in supposedly lesbian cities like san diego and dc i felt this way. it's like lesbian community has been fragmented by women of gender and pushed into the domestic sphere… like friday night catan games in someones studio apartment you arent invited to.

No. 358135

This is me. I'm actually always worried people will think I'm into her because she's very conventionally attractive, but she coudln't be further from my type.
It's an irrational anxiety, but it's ramped up to 11 lately as I'll be speaking at her wedding soon and I'm scared any heartfelt message will make people jump to conclusions that I'm secretly in love with her or some shit.
Roast me for this nonnas so that I can get over it.

No. 358149

I deleted my rant on it but…
TLDR we have to live with the risks of being women, but also being lesbians, while also being ideologically diverse. It makes it harder to socialize with new people.

Also I have been thinking of a code only traditional lesbian bar on vrc. I know weird and hyper likely to fail and be infiltrated but a girl can dream. If any one has a lesbian only friend group online let me know. I live in bumfuck!

No. 358205

I need to make some spergy autistic lesbian artist friends like right fucking now. I can't take much more of meeting "lesbians" in art circles, only for them to rave on about girldick two seconds later. I don't give a shit that they're bisexual but what I do hate is that I have to play along with their larp because otherwise it's transphobic and my online presence is ruined… please god just give me one fellow female homosexual friend to talk about and create fictional women with.

No. 358212

Make a post in the friend finder thread, 8 may be interested depending on what you're like.

No. 358218

Seconding! I’m looking for the same

No. 358239

GF says she has dysphoria and has cobsidered trooning out. Wants the tit chop. Troonery is a dealbreaker for me and I told her as much, she says she'll "stay a girl" with 99% certainty and just get rid of her boobs. Is this even worth continuing? I adore her.

I guess a good sign is that she didn't immediately call me a terf bigot for expressing disdain for the idea. She also says my opinion matters to her.

Tf do I do

No. 358251

Say you’ll break up with her and make her go to detrans therapy

No. 358252

Talk to her supportively about a more constructive method of working through body image issues, which is what the tit chop boils down to. Especially if she's not planning on trooning out, that's what this is and just cutting off the offending body part is about as healthily endorsable as any other major plastic surgery.

No. 358254

Bi lurker but don’t let her do it nonna. If you’re worried about alienating her, try to be gentle and logical. The way I saved some exes/female friends from transing themselves was peaking them and 1) pointing that if being a woman/man isn’t determined by your sex/body, you don’t have to “change” your body and 2) stating that dysphoria is mental, often temporary, and can be improved with therapy and a different outlook. I’d also talk about complications from top surgery like loss of sensation and mobility and T causing atrophy and health issues and the like. Good luck nonna!

No. 358256

Ask her why she feels like she isn't a woman since most of what they feel is normal for women to feel.

No. 358287

this might not apply but ive heard of one case of a desisted woman getting rid of a large chunk of her dysphoria by getting a breast reduction first and seeing how that works for her. she had like hhh cups or something and it seemed like a large part of her dysphoria came from being sexually harassed by men and thus feeling like her breasts were inherently and only sexual gratification, which then extended to herself. her mother was worried about her and managed to persuade her to take the smaller step of a reduction

No. 358649

I don't know if I'm weird for feeling this but does anyone else wonder if having children is ethical if you're a lesbian couple? I've wanted kids all my life, I'm a teacher, and I've been discussing eventually starting a family with my girlfriend. However, the more I see people online talk about how traumatic it is to either be adopted or to be born from a sperm donor and have dozens of half siblings and no relationship with their biological parent, I'm starting to question myself. Obviously I feel like it's unfair that so many heterosexual couples aren't good parents and they get to have children without needing any intervention from anyone. But since I personally grew up knowing both my biological parents I can't really say how it would feel to not be born in that situation. Does anyone else feel this way?

No. 358717

Honestly I know many families with adopted children and they're fine. Some of them come from abusive families, while others are not and when they're older they keep in touch with their bilogical parents if they're able to. But all of them are happy with their adoptive families, and is definetly way better for their develoment to have one instead of living on an orphanage.
Most likely people who say being adopted traumatized them is because their adoptive parents are shit, (if the kid is from another country) were forced to fully assimilate their new country's culture and never learn a bit from their and/or weren't allowed to know their biological family. And again, probably because they don't know how shitty orphanages are and the way the second you turn 18 they kick you out.

No. 358741

Is it important for you to use an anonymous sperm donor rather than someone you know? I'm not from a situation like this but it can admittedly be difficult in various ways growing up not knowing half of your background and I've spoken to a lot of people in this situation (and others who were adopted) about this issue and yes, it can cause problems. It doesn't mean the child is doomed, but it absolutely causes difficulties and emotional upset. I wouldn't let this dissuade you from children, you seem like you'd be a good one for even considering this, but it's setting up something to keep communication channels open or using a sperm donor you know is worth considering.

No. 358760

Most fathers are completely useless anyway so you having kids with your girlfriend isn’t any less ethical than a straight woman having children imo

No. 358792

This is true. The vast majority of moids end up traumatizing their children whether they stick around or bounce.

No. 358855

i hate to say this, but ive never seen any lesbian successfully prevent their girlfriend from transitioning. it's gonna happen eventually, and it won't stop at top surgery. either y'all will break up, and she'll transition. or she will agree to not transition, resentment will build, she will break up with you, and then transition. literally seen this happen with like 3+ couples including my own ex

No. 358857

just like any cosmetic thing, women don't stop at one procedure or surgery or whatever. she'll be tempted to start T.

No. 358947


This is what I'm afraid of. We've been looking at buying a house together and shit. I'm fucking devastated.

No. 358966

I'm someone who has suffered from a lot of body issues and even considered if I was trans, and my girlfriend being supportive and actually listening to me actually what helped me decide that I'm just a butch woman. It meant a lot to me that she didn't just call me crazy and dump me but she asked me why I feel the way I do about my body and what I feel like I would accomplish by transitioning. Because of her I really understood that trooning out isn't a solution to having body image issues or not identifying with how a lot of people view feminity.

No. 359041

glad to see there are success stories

No. 359044

On the other end of the spectrum, I know someone who went cold on her gf when she announced she "might be" a man. Started treating her like one, like no kisses, no intimacy, nothing, just said "I am a lesbian and I want to respect your identity". The gf cut that shit out pretty quick and I always thought that was kind of a smart way of dealing with things, especially when you think of how many trans people that do get accepted by their partners start retconning their partners' sexuality. Plus she didn't risk getting outed to anyone as GC.

No. 359062

Pretty sure this is what Ellen Page's ex wife tried.

No. 359449

>Develop a crush on a girl who ticks all my boxes
>Flirt with her all the time, oh lord I want to kiss her so bad
>Get to know her better over time
>Oh shit, she's a kinsey 2 diagnosed BPD-chan with severe emotional baggage
>It's too late, she's obviously imprinted on me now
>Bail bail bail
It's like the third time this has happened, I will go to the grave single at this rate

No. 359451

That sucks anon, I'm sorry. Sounds like you were really excited by the new connection and now it's been totally soured. How long did it take before you realized she was crazy? I want to say this as kindly as possible, but I believe that we attract people with similar levels of "brokenness." If you're heeding the warning signs and doing what you can to get away from her, then major props. That's really the only thing you can do now. I just wonder if you're looking in the wrong places or have some work of your own to do.

No. 359456

It's definitely because I have some damaged type of personality that I gravitate towards people who cover their crazy with charisma. I'm not stupid, I know it's because of me being subconsciously intrigued by them. I've been getting better at seeing the red flags though, I got traumatized to hell and back by a suicide baiting girlfriend and I don't want to go through that again. But in the end it's just a fact that a lot of SSAs have mental illness caused by minority stress especially combined with being a nerdy weeb ostracized from the mainstream.

No. 359792

Hi nonas, sorry if this is the wrong thread to ask this but do you know any based (“trans exclusionary”) lesbian artists? Either singing or drawing artists. It’s disappointing as hell to find a lesbian artist and find out she supports troons or shills about trans rights.

No. 359988

i know i'm gonna sound stupid i just need reassurance
could a lesbian love an AuDHD shortstack goth femme/sometimes gnc who's biggest hobby is video games

No. 359998

I could.

No. 360040

there's lesbihonest-art(makes the comic leasebound), pillarsalt(illustrates animals), redkatherine(but she's not active anywhere), and shepple(worked on heartbeat rpg) for lesbian drawing artists that are explicitly anti-trans.

making your own stuff would rock though; there's barely any out there

No. 360116

is there an archive of redkatherine's artworks? I remember looking her up before, but I only saw some disturbing shit that troons drew of her

No. 360133

I’d have my throat slit a thousand times and have acid poured in it than get together with another bpd again

No. 360225

That sounds a little BPD of you, nonny

No. 360240

Thank you! I do make my own art but I am quiet about my views as my already tiny following is made up almost entirely of gendies, as well as my friend group ugh. I only recently peaked, I hope someday I can be honest about my views even if I get thrown to the curb.

No. 360274

I think as long as you don’t create art directly pandering to trannies it is already ok, many good artists become unbearable because of their virtue signalling. And silence is way better than pandering

No. 360519

I had this question many time with friend who were adopted and older family members and there is 2 main issues to me :

The first issue is the identity aspect like >>358741 explain well. The part that is the hardest for kids born from sperm donors,
and especially prevalent in the emotional upset of the kid is that it's not infortunate events on his biologial family who cause the origin of the issues ( like for adopted kids ) but it's a CHOICE by their parents, the one taking care of them and trying to help them through it.

The second issue is that people tend to base their way of treating and being treated by others on how their close family act. If a boy only saw women serving him and no man serving women he will not learn how to treat and be useful to women, I do think girls are less affected by it but boys certainly are, they do need to be led by exemple.
Maybe if you have very close male family members who can help you at home often and is safe to be left with the boy it could help. And since it's a 50/50 % chance to have a boy it's quite risky.

To end on a not too pessimistic note I do believe it's possible with a strong extended family to have biological children , if I could I would try to find a wife who's could have a donor from her family, or have a donation from a man who you are friend with and know his extended family well. I do believe Lesbian are 100% better fit than straight couples to adopt girls.

No. 360520

Thank you a lot for the kind words. I don't have a connection to irl lesbian community at all rn so I guess that doesn't help. I have like 3 bi friends and although I relate to them on some things (esp. the 1 of them who has actively dated women) I have 0 lesbian acquaintances or friends. I'm trying to work on that lately. The last woman I dated introduced me to a lesbian bar in my city, am planning to drop by by myself more often and let's see what happens.

No. 360819

If you're into manga most yuri artists who are female are quietly terf-y in their belief that men can't be women so most stories won't touch gender shit with a ten foot pole. However, if you run into a female artist whose main interest is hetero romance or BL, don't bother.

No. 361492

I made a couple of "lesbian" friends online awhile ago and every single one of them has stated they've felt attraction to men at some point but they wouldn't sleep with one so they're still lesbians. As if that isn't definitionally the polilez shit they claim to hate so much. Every self-proclaimed lesbian online is like this, it's genuinely so demoralizing. Is it impossible to find actual homosexual women these days? I've literally never had to "repress" thoughts of being attracted to men because it's the equivalent of wanting to eat cornbread to me; it never crosses my mind whatsoever. Just seems like everyone is a bisexual in denial now.

No. 361516


try the /clg/ server

No. 361537

I'm sorry you haven't been able to find the community you're looking for. Where did you meet these women? Asking so I can avoid kek. I wish that people would embrace the febfem label, it's more admirable to acknowledge your OSA and then abstain from acting on it than to falsely claim lesbianism.

No. 361561

word of mouth is /clg/ has been overrun by 4chan TIMothies all LARPing with each other for years

No. 361568

Embarassing to say but fandom twitter, I mostly make friends online through shared interests. I shouldn't have expected anything since fandom is full of TIFs/spicy straights but they weren't the super woke types and didn't list pronouns in their bios so I didn't think they'd be LARPers. Probably just going to stick to LC since every other site seems doomed.

No. 361619

NTA but I'm in a similar boat and it disappoints me how hard it is to find lesbian friends this way. I've found "crypto" bi and some straight women in fandoms before, but never lesbians. It's gotten to a point where if someone is super loud about being a lesbian I assume it's an overcompensating bisexual (or moid).

No. 361643

Never found another crypto in fandom so you're lucky. I just assume every "lesbian" in fandom is a bihet now honestly. You'd expect to find actual lesbians in f/f shipping communities but I actually think it's worse because they're all obsessed with futa. There's a small circle on Twitter made up of radfem fujos, some of whom are lesbians, which is basically the best community of lesbians I've found so far which is pretty sad.

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