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No. 350481
Please keep posts focused on women and female homosexuality! If you want to talk about attraction toward males it probably belongs in the bisexuality thread or questioning thread (check the catalog, they're usually not on the front page but I promise they exist!). Please ignore obvious bihet/troon/tradthot/fujo/etc rage bait as well. Remember that when we take the bait and infight the trannies win! If you suspect a poster is XY pls report and ignore instead of shitting up the entire thread with accusations. Newfags pls lurk and read the site rules before posting, and be careful to stay safe and anonymous (use a VPN, incognito mode, be wary of external links/discords, and be very cautious about the personal details you include in your posts).
Topics of discussion may include but are not limited to:
>first crush?>what’s your local lesbian scene like?>cute stories about your gf>favourite lesbian media? lesbian media you hate?>coming out stories>are there any cows you’d uhaul with?>bitch about being lonely>tips for coping with being lonely>butch? femme? how do you feel about labels?>top? bottom? how do you feel about those labels?>what's your type?>when did you know you were gay?>f/f fanfic and book recs (pls)>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? which ones don’t fit you at all?>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?>what do you wanna be like as an old lady lesbian? >get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etc>best date/match? worst?>how homophobic are your family/friends? is it woke homophobia or oldschool homophobia?>dating app horror stories>everything we hate about every other online lesbian community>lesbian friends, role models, or family members you appreciate>lesbian history, literature, and politicsprevious threads:
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I rematched with a girl I blocked on an app like a year ago. (It was messy.) We matched on a different app where I use a nickname. I actually really come to like her. We went on a date and I'm planning another.
I'm praying that she doesn't remember me, but if we get serious and she meets my friends/ family she's going to hear my actual name (It's super uncommon)
Should I come clean or just ignore it? I feel like we're different people now and a past argument shouldn't matter. Though, I don't really know her enough to know if she holds grudges.
No. 350835
>>350784The nose piercing will just make you look like one of those TQ+ women imo and I agree with what
>>350811 said. Compared to that, gaining muscle sounds much better idea. Do you already have a masculine clothing style, nonna?
No. 351033
>>351031Awwww congrats nonna this is such a sweet post. I’ve been with my wife for eight years (we’re 32 and 30 now) and honestly as cliche as it is, always communicate and always make sure you want the same things and both wanna work for them to be possible. Respect is huge, same with knowing your gf’s love language and making sure she feels loved and appreciated. The little things mean more than the big gestures a lot of the time, but of course she should reciprocate in kind. Building each other up, being supportive, all that stuff that sounds so blah blah but really matters. Also having fun!!! Laughing together is so important imo. Even if it’s just watching a dumb show or playing a game. My wife and I like to watch stuff we know will be really bad (movies with less than 5 on IMDb for example) it’s like our lil game and we just riff the whole time and talk over it and even now I still get excited when we can have a bad movie night hehe
Wishing you so much happiness w your new lady, nonnabella!!! ♥
No. 351038
>>351031Congrats, going to live vicariously through you for a bit if it’s okay,
nonny. For real, happy for you!
No. 351747
>>351625I remember dating being like this. It was so miserable. Being into nerdy shit and hating concerts/clubs shrinks your dating pool. It might be frustrating (especially with the unicorn hunters and men) but you might find someone you like!
I personally am a bit nerdy with a big love for anime events (not cons, they're more like anime themed parties). I personally really want a gf who'll tag along with me, possibly cosplay and show me her hobbies. I need a nerdy gf who gets me
No. 352134
>>352126Aspiration wise? What do you mean by that?
If your personalities are similar, there has to be something you have in common.
No. 352326
>Be me
>Realize I'm a lesbian in my early teens
>Date a cute girl and enjoy every second of it
>Suddenly overcome with huge amounts of internalized homophobia and self awareness in my late teens due to moving to a more conservative environment
>While simultaneously setting everyone's gaydars off just screaming at people, women flirt with me all the time
>Am actually a really attractive butch if I might say so myself, good looking face, well mannered, charismatic, well spoken, funny, good conversationalist, muscular, very promising career prospects
>B-but no, I-I can't, nonnies! I-I'm not a lesbian! I'm normal! B-bisexual at most!
>Become the boyfriend experience for every LUG nevertheless but refusing any relationships because no-no, not a lesbian! Just having fun, h-haha!
>Late 20's
>Depression hits me like a dump truck and it's made even worse by the pandemic and social isolation
>Early 30's
>Have an epiphany after realizing that you're in your 30's now and you still never in your life have felt sexual feelings towards men or found them attractive
>I guess I better finally accept it and start living my life true to myself, a real movie moment
>However, all the numerous girls that surrounded you are gone now
>They're dating men and some of them even had kids with them, even the ones who swore up and down on their lesbianism
>The ones who didn't trooned out and the new lesbians you meet are the most boring kind of wine&travel normies that you are just are utterly unable to connect with
>Your own looks are fading and the mental damage depression has crippled your ability to forge interpersonal relationships, you're not the cute and fun 23-year old heartthrob experiment anymore
>Constant awkwardness among my peers and coworkers seeing them talk about their kids while I'm there trying to hide the fact that I'm childless, single and not straight to avoid looking like more of a freak to them than I already do looking like a haggard middle aged dyke
>Genuinely think about ending it all when I come back home to my empty apartment that will stay empty probably for the rest of my life
Young lesbos, do one thing for me and please embrace what you are and live out your best life as far as you can. I don't know why I wrote this, I guess this is just the only place where I could imagine at least one person will get it. Sorry.
No. 352328
>>352326Your story touches my heart
nonnie. Internalised homophobia is a terrible affliction. Over the years you may have deteriorated in some ways, but that lovely, sensitive soul has always been yours. You're still lovable. We can accept that we are lonely/single
right now without "accepting" that we'll be lonely/single forever. There's a difference between acknowledging our current pain and hopelessness, and giving up entirely.
The world is a crazy place, who knows what will happen and who you'll meet. I'm still rooting for you and your future wife, and your happiness in general.
No. 352332
>>352328Aw thanks
nonnie. I don't have a lot of lesbian friends (in other words, none) so I don't really get to talk about this enough to gather my thoughts regarding it, so it ends up feeling like an endless void inside of me that keeps growing and becoming heavier the more I suppress it. It's really, really hard and painful to fake being happy for my friends who get engaged and move on with their lives and I genuinely do wish them all the best, but I just wish it was me for once. Internalized homophobia is a life-ruining bitch and the "why does everything have to be gay now!" whining comes from such a massive place of privilege, maybe if we had the representation we do now when I was younger I wouldn't be here picking out the best rope for myself. Being loved and accepted is a basic need after physiological needs and we as a society tend to forget about that a lot. Anyway thanks for your reply. It feels nice being heard for once.
No. 352333
>>352332Yes, it hurts the more you keep it bottled up, and the worst part is that your feelings are totally natural and expected, yet still seem inappropriate to some. Envy included. It's painful to watch others have joyous experiences that seem so far away (and at times impossible) for us.
Have you tried journaling? It's not the same as talking to another person who understands, but at least you can get it out of your head. And you don't need me to tell you this, but you're always welcome ITT. /lg/ is rather hit or miss but there's no shortage of women who know your pain.
No. 352382
>>352326young 20's lesbian, i'll do my best
nonnie. Just got out of a 'passionate' friendship with a girl who may be bi but will date men exclusively for the rest of her life. it's tough out here too, and i wish there were any actual single, interesting lesbians within like 50 miles of me. I don't think it's too late for you though.maybe she's not out there right now because she hasn't come out yet herself, or is in the midst of ending a previous relationship.
No. 353511
>>353505Sounds like internalised homophobia and misogyny is eating away at you. You won't be feeling like this forever and you CAN overcome it. In short, you need to undo society's brainwashing and remember that being a woman is not just the only thing you can be, but the BEST thing you can be.
I think a good way to start doing that is to embrace your femaleness in every aspect of your life. It might feel silly at flrst, but you can try making lists of everything you love about being a woman, about being a lesbian, and your unique advantages over men or things that are exclusive to the female experience. Ask your girlfriend to do the same, and any other close female/lesbian friends of yours. Hell, you could ask any random woman what she likes about her sex, just to see how diverse we are in the things that we notice and value.
You don't have to explain to these people the exact reason for your questions or anything about your struggles, but I would encourage you to open up about how you've been feeling to people you can trust. Your feelings are more relatable than you realise, and feeling alone or "insane" is a big contributor to your suffering. To me it seems that one of the main components of this problem is shame: you're ashamed of your insecurities and your dysphoria. Take a look at vidrel for more information on shame: where it comes from, how it binds us, and what to do about it.
Also, if you're interested in the fantasy or myth genres, spiritualism, or even just writing, you might like the book The Heroine's Journey by Maureen Murdock. It's all about the return to and acceptance of femaleness, and you'll see that countless women have rejected themselves just as you have. You are not alone in this and you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Normally I would recommend therapy, but the field's been overrun by genderism and they'd probably push you to transition. All I can say is that if you do go that route, don't talk about dysphoria itself until you really trust that person. Stick to working on self-esteem and emotional regulation. Of course you can do those things by yourself, too, but it does help to have people around guiding you and keeping you accountable.
Every time you have those thoughts "it would be better if I was a man" or anything like that, just… pause. Take a moment to notice that you've done it again. Don't beat yourself up or try to quickly change the subject, in fact don't do anything. All you need to do is be aware of it, and to know that it's just a thought you had, not at all a statement of fact.
I hope these ideas are helpful in some way, and that as time goes on you gain some more clarity about yourself and your feelings. I'm wishing all the best to you and your girlfriend. One day at a time, Nona. You'll make it. You're already on your way to a peaceful life full of love.
No. 353976
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>>353915I was also looking for some lesbian visual novels the other day, but most of them seem like bland scrote shit with the same animu faces unfortunately. I recently found out about 'A Summer's End - Hong Kong 1986' and I haven't played it much yet to make a judgement of it, but it looks promising!
No. 353977
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>>353915It's more of a vn then an otome game but I been looking forwards to this one. The game won't be out until next year though.
No. 354113
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I told my girlfriend that my sister said that she (my girlfriend) doesn't actually love me and is just pretending to be in love. My girlfriend cried and said that I shouldn't rely on other people's judgement to understand her. Then she left. I'm not going to be seeing her in a week. What do I do now? She hasn't sent me any texts after that.
No. 354115
>>354091AYRT. I hadn't thought of it from that perspective and I can see how, if that's what OP was really struggling with, then I had a fundamental misunderstanding of her worries, making my advice ineffective at best and harmful at worst. Thank you for chiming in. Do you have any suggestions for that poster? Anything that's worked for you?
If the main problem is societal rejection then IMO a good approach could be (1) serenity and (2) found family. Serenity meaning letting go of that which we cannot control— namely rejection by others— and refocusing on that which is within our power— accepting ourselves as we are. Also a myriad of other things like curating our environments and consumption, escaping dangerous locations, pruning our social circles. That's what I mean about found family. We have the power and the responsibility to surround ourselves with loving people whom we cherish in turn. Obviously that's easier said than done but, butch lesbian or not, loneliness kills. A third thing, I guess, would be some kind of advocacy, a way to "give back" to other women and girls who might be struggling in the same way.
But this is all pretty general advice, and potentially still way off mark. I guess that's what happens when you consult anonymous posters on a free range cattle herding forum.
No. 354209
>>354117ayrt this was a real conscious process so i will share my steps
>get uninvolved with codependent internet bff/gf>get on tinder and meet aimlessly with women who seem nice to chat with>(lose weight to normal bmi through r/loseit method )>do things alone like travelling and going to movies and concerts so i have lots of interesting anecdotes to tell>start a small school program full of normie people my age who all hung out together >do everything i get invited to and also invite people to do things especially in groups until they realize I am nice and fun>become normalerwhole process took about 4 years and i started around 22/23 (but I know women, especially gay women, who have done same or similar into their 30s). Also ty everyone for thoughts on my romantic situation
No. 354306
>>354210Is this some kind of lesbian gene indicator? Can same sex attraction be determined by finger length ratio? You got me staring hard at my and my gf's hands
nonny kek
my ring fingers are longer, hers are shorter No. 354334
>>354313I forgive you,
nonny.
No. 354712
File: 1698163327668.gif (289.26 KB, 498x291, lonely-girl-come-back.gif)
Nonas, do you have any experience dating autistic women? Or could you offer any advice regarding how they express their affection? I'm unsure if a girl I've been talking to for the past few weeks is even interested in further pursuing a relationship. She's been pretty distant lately, she doesn't really write much, but she haven't told me that it won't work out. I don't know if it's a neurodivergent thing or if she really just lost interest. I'm pretty lost when it comes to relationships as well, don't really have an understanding on the concept of love, but I do want closeness. I'm just unsure if there are any boundaries I should be aware of, or accomodations I should make.
No. 354748
>>353915Sorry to be annoying especially since this was a few days ago, but just to clarify: otome specifically means a game where you play as a woman pursuing men. Some otome will have female routes, but typically they are "friendship routes" with occasional romantic undertones, and this isn't very common anymore. What you really want to look for are yuri VNs. Problem is that most of them cater to men.
Your best bet is to look for western-made visual novels that have both male and female love interests so that you can choose who you want to pursue. Try searching "amare games" as that's the definition decided upon for this type of game with mixed gender LIs. You can check itch.io, but some examples are When the Night Comes, Errant Kingdom, and Arcade Spirits. You can also check out the creator "ebi-hime" on itch.io as they create lots of different LGBT+ visual novels, quite a few of which are yuri games.
Just wanted to clarify so that you would have an easier time finding games in the future!
No. 354948
>>354210i'm
a kinsey 4-ish bisexual and my ring fingers are longer
No. 355056
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Nonnas, I am craving positivity. Can you tell me some good things you love about your girlfriend/fiancée/wife? Like what is she good at? What does she do that makes you laugh? What drew you to her to begin with?
No. 355624
File: 1698502432036.png (1.34 MB, 966x1063, F3VsyP0WMAANFa8.png)
>>355056Girlfriend of 5 years. Met online, did ldr for about 2 years (It was very painful, but worked out). I love how sweet and caring she is. Completely contrasts my cold exterior. I can show sides of myself that my own family and friends haven't witnessed around her. We have a height difference with me being the taller. So it's cute when she tells me how safe she feels around me and how she feels protected. We both understand each other on a level I couldn't find anywhere else. I have a huge attraction to her long hair and freckles.
No. 355941
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Alison Bechdel looks so fucking cool and she's a style inspiration to me, I want to have even half of her swag as a grandma butch. I don't care if this makes me an ~Aiden~, I like that she's presenting as unapologetically non-genderconforming and looking so good doing it. Sorry for sperging but I'm so desperate for butch role models like this.
No. 355989
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so…i already tried asking everywhere, but i really wanted to at this thread.
where do i find lesbian friends online? maybe there are some lesbian discord servers i don't know about…
No. 356894
>>356848I know exactly how you feel. Even though the 5 years was kind of grueling, I would rather wait for someone who matters than waste it with heart break or for some asshole.
I've honestly been dating for about 2 years now and not a single person until recently has been decent.
>>356823Same finding a lesbian has been so rare in 2 years of many dates I have only actually met 2…
I'm seeing a bisexual woman now. But she seems nice enough. She has said nothing about gender issues and is actually competent sexual. Like she doesn't expect me to become her man.
No. 358135
>>357074This is me. I'm actually always worried people will think I'm into her because she's very conventionally attractive, but she coudln't be further from my type.
It's an irrational anxiety, but it's ramped up to 11 lately as I'll be speaking at her wedding soon and I'm scared any heartfelt message will make people jump to conclusions that I'm secretly in love with her or some shit.
Roast me for this nonnas so that I can get over it.
No. 358149
>>358122I deleted my rant on it but…
TLDR we have to live with the risks of being women, but also being lesbians, while also being ideologically diverse. It makes it harder to socialize with new people.
Also I have been thinking of a code only traditional lesbian bar on vrc. I know weird and hyper likely to fail and be infiltrated but a girl can dream. If any one has a lesbian only friend group online let me know. I live in bumfuck!
No. 358717
>>358649Honestly I know many families with adopted children and they're fine. Some of them come from
abusive families, while others are not and when they're older they keep in touch with their bilogical parents if they're able to. But all of them are happy with their adoptive families, and is definetly way better for their develoment to have one instead of living on an orphanage.
Most likely people who say being adopted traumatized them is because their adoptive parents are shit, (if the kid is from another country) were forced to fully assimilate their new country's culture and never learn a bit from their and/or weren't allowed to know their biological family. And again, probably because they don't know how shitty orphanages are and the way the second you turn 18 they kick you out.
No. 360040
>>359792there's lesbihonest-art(makes the comic leasebound), pillarsalt(illustrates animals), redkatherine(but she's not active anywhere), and shepple(worked on heartbeat rpg) for lesbian drawing artists that are explicitly anti-trans.
making your own stuff would rock though; there's barely any out there
No. 360519
>>358649I had this question many time with friend who were adopted and older family members and there is 2 main issues to me :
The first issue is the identity aspect like
>>358741 explain well. The part that is the hardest for kids born from sperm donors,
and especially prevalent in the emotional upset of the kid is that it's not infortunate events on his biologial family who cause the origin of the issues ( like for adopted kids ) but it's a CHOICE by their parents, the one taking care of them and trying to help them through it.
The second issue is that people tend to base their way of treating and being treated by others on how their close family act. If a boy only saw women serving him and no man serving women he will not learn how to treat and be useful to women, I do think girls are less affected by it but boys certainly are, they do need to be led by exemple.
Maybe if you have very close male family members who can help you at home often and is safe to be left with the boy it could help. And since it's a 50/50 % chance to have a boy it's quite risky.
To end on a not too pessimistic note I do believe it's possible with a strong extended family to have biological children , if I could I would try to find a wife who's could have a donor from her family, or have a donation from a man who you are friend with and know his extended family well. I do believe Lesbian are 100% better fit than straight couples to adopt girls.
No. 360819
>>359792If you're into manga most yuri artists who are female are quietly
terf-y in their belief that men can't be women so most stories won't touch gender shit with a ten foot pole. However, if you run into a female artist whose main interest is hetero romance or BL, don't bother.