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tfw the only person I matched with was someone I went to school with who isn't out yet
has anyone tried tinder for a gf? my last gf I found through dnd lel
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I fucking hate queer theory and I don't even know what that means bc I was never dumb enough to take gender studies in college. it was women's studies for half a year then everything changed!
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Seriously it's the worst kind of cancer
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anyone here a lesbian in a 3rd world homophobic shithole where women barely have rights and have never had a proper relationship with another woman because of it?
yeah i wanna die. anyway tfw no gf
Lmao cali is full of fukgirls
I feel you man. In the same boat here but because I'm bi I've had more luck with men. Its difficult to find anyone who isn't super liberal here, male or female.
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Damn I wish I had this. My gf and I were never into talking about politics until I came out as GC in the summer. Shes been escalating fights and threatening to leave me if I dont rejoin her TRA logic. It's got me filled up with enough anxiety that I might leave later on. She cant seem to grasp how it can hurt her and other women/ lesbians down the road.
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I'm really sorry, anon. I would've asked how is your relationship aside from this issue, but if she's even threatening to leave you if you don't kiss TRA boots she doesn't seem nice.
Anyway, many lesbians are peak transing by the day. Being on dating apps I realized how many girls I talked to were also skeeved out by troons, once the topic came out and they felt comfortable with telling me.
So I'm sure you will find a non-TRA gf! They're not rare anymore.
I'm not sure if I should come out to my family. I just have this feeling that it's pretty obvious that I'm not straight, and everyone is fine with it as long as I never put it into words, you know? like saying it out loud makes it worse somehow. my dad is kind of homophobic but I've only seen him react to gay males, I don't know his stance on gay women. my mom would be cool with it but she doesn't like keeping secrets from my dad, so if I tell her I'd have to tell him as well.
at the moment I'm fine with not saying anything, my sisters and some aunties are single, childless, career types, and my family accepts that, so I can easily look like that as well.
note that I am not close with any of them, except my mom, I see my immediate family during holidays only and extended family on the rare occasion some cousin gets married or has a special party.
I don't know, I guess it doesn't matter, since there's no pressure for me to pretend to be straight. just the absence of telling them I'm gay. though, i guess I'd feel guilty to tell them I'm single/lie if I had a girlfriend.
my family is homophobic and i'll wait to come out until i'm in a serious relationship
i feel like it's just not worth it when youre single, because what does it change? it's just uncomfortable and in theory gives anyone ammo for "but you just havent found the right man yet!!!!"
don't stress it if theres no need for you to say it right now
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Kinda don’t know where to ask this so this place is my best bet ig. I can’t tell if I’m actually just straight because I’m scared of not being “safe and stable” without a man in my life or if I’m becoming more attracted to other women because of the many pros that come with lesbianism? Ever since I started reading more radfem blogs and about how terrible and disgusting men are, and encountering that first hand with all of my exes sadly, I felt a noticeable shift in my preferences. But only in how I notice women in public and being attracted to them or actually getting nervous around pretty girls. I do, however, have a weird history of inner desires. I always preferred lesbian porn and even when having sex with my exes I would imagine that in order to feel aroused. And how my taste in men would always have to be feminine and “harmless” in order to feel safe with continuing the relationship. I just don’t know if this is some awakening that is happening now that I’m getting lonely or if its because I’m finally taking time for myself and noticing how I feel instead of pushing it aside to please others.
I made a post in the vent thread, basically she was just using me as a no strings attached rebound while knowing very well what I wanted, and upon being called out she kept on contradicting herself ("Yes I was flirting because I like you" then 10 minutes later "I wasn't flirting, I was just being nice, I'm sorry that you took it that way") and denying everything.
Lesbian dating is truly life on nightmare mode. Dating tip for the future: ask her when did she have her last breakup. If it's been less than a year, run away and don't look back.
Im not this anon >>132181
, im just a straight woman passing by explaining why some straight womeen like feminine men
I don't think of porn when I'm having sex period lol
I'm a bi girl but I have different attractions when it comes to men and women. Maybe you just want clitorial stimulation or the sex is unfulfilling which in that case, call your man out on it.
Also I don't really consider girls bi or lesbian if they just want to have sex with girls. I've known plenty of woman going down on girls cuz some sleazeball wanted to get off to it. If you're really bi or lesbian I believe you can have genuine feelings and attraction to the same sex.
I don't mind sex with him, usually it's great and he lasts a long time and always works on getting me off. But he doesn't turn me on despite being very conventionally attractive and very kind.>>132193
I don't watch porn and never have. It's disgusting.>>132191
I would love to have sex with women, does that make me bi? I never fantasize about women romantically like relationship wise.
I think what makes a woman (or man) bi is being sexually attracted
to individuals of the same sex, not just wanting to have sex with them. That sounds like semantics, but I just mean that having sex with that woman is the turn on, not just sex in general because it feels good/because you feel hot being with a woman. You want to touch her sexually and make her orgasm and that's the appeal.
Although I imagine it's different for pillow princesses? I'm speaking as mainly a service top and my attraction to both sexes has almost nothing to do with my own body. If anyone has input on how that attraction feels please lmk.
Also I know some people don't consider someone truly bi if they don't feel romantic attraction to the both sexes. So you will never be bi to them if that's the case. On the fence myself since I do want to date both, so idk.
And an apology from me for not being a lesbian and posting itt.
This is why the Kinsey scale can be pretty useful. Everything that isn't 0 or 6 can technically be considered bi, with 3 being "le true bisexual 50/50 man/woman", which isn't actually that common. Bicurious is probably the best term for someone like that anon there. I would also personally define bisexuality as someone who is capable of feeling both romantic and sexual feelings for both sexes, though it of course doesn't have to be 50/50. But people are free to identify as they like, really.
And now speaking of nothing, any other lesbian anons stuck in the middle of nowhere really worried they will end up alone or have to resort to LDRs? I live in an pretty small town in northern Europe, which does have a chapter of the national LGBT organisation, but the VAST majority of events they host are trans based. I have no issues with dating apps, but you just see the same people over and over again. I also don't mind LDRs but I'm just getting too old for that shit… I'm probably moving to an even smaller town soon and my chances of meeting someone will be even slimmer then. It just feels hopeless.
I think it's worth going to all LGBT gatherings, despite there being trans people. You don't have to date them if it's not your type, and most people are understanding of that in the offline world.
It's so hard to meet other lesbians if you avoid LGBT events unfortunately.
That's why I usually label myself as straight.
I will leave you guys alone now! Sexuality is always an interesting topic.
You're giving me such hope anon.
I can only hope both of us find love.
My ideal would be growing old with my gf and fight by her side (and marry her to be able to have the swordfighting lesbian wedding of my dreams)
Are you >>132163
How small of a town? Like everyone knows everyone or in less than 1 day all three towns around each other know everyone's business? Also don't give up hope, there's probably another closeted lesbian living there. That sounds sucky that though with coming out and being secluded, do they treat them like air or like they've caught the plague?
I dunno, I thought my friends did it because they found it hot in some way and I didn't mind so I always just went along with it and never thought much of it but maybe I'm being creepy???
I also stopped going to clubs altogether because I honestly can't stand another strange male grinding up on me out of nowhere
girls are mean to me does this mean they wanna kiss me?
doesn't make sense since men are absolute cunts to me too
tfw no gf
Two days late but I guess I would like to make you feel better too by answering. I love short/petite girls. I also like cute stuff but I don't wear it cause it's not a style I'm comfortable with, I would totally date a lolita/pastel girl since I find it attractive when people are confident with what they like.
I'm quite femme btw
Good luck anon, you'll find love for sure
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I tried online dating and found a date! I am super paranoid that she is going to be a man catfishing or some trap to out me to my family and friends but I'm going to give it a shot. Wish me luck, anons.
It really feels like I'll never find love.
I'm a nearly 23 kissless virgin. I never kissed boys cause they disgust me, and I never kissed girls cause there was none to kiss.
I'm from an European country, people here are religious but there's also a lot that are pro-gay, so it's not super bad. And yet, I can't find someone to date me.
I tried dating apps, nothing ever came of it.. I went to 5 dates in 4 years and honestly I hate how due to the dating pool being so small, I even had to meet up with some of them. The last girl I saw was so fundamentally different from me.. a bully that doesn't like "nerds" and "weebs" and loves to drink and party.. we had absolutely nothing in common, but I met up with her cause there was no one else interested in me.
It's depressing, I would love to move to a different, bigger city or to move out of the country but I'm still in UNI and there's no option like that for me.
I wish I could not feel shame about being kissless, but I do. I'm a grown woman and no one ever thought I'm cute enough to even hold my hand, I was never wanted.. not even by boys.
I know my personality isn't the best, but.. even the worst people seem to be getting dates, but not me.
Oh well, I'm trying to get over it anyway. Sorry if this is more of a rant thread post, but I thought I may find some consolation in fellow lesbians..
exactly the point I was trying to make.. it's very hard to find girls that aren't "normies" but to be honest here in Italy not EVERYONE is pro-trans. the other italian anon may know it too but a lot of lesbians carry the the same ideals as we do here on 2x, they just dont speak about it up front and you have to dig a bit. I'm honestly glad we aren't as far gone as the US.
But yeah I wish I could meet a sperg like you irl, I may sound like a pick-me "not like the other girls" type but I honestly have nothing in common with some of the girls I met. I don't think I'm better or anything, I'm just not interested in the party scene and would rather prefer someone who is into the same stuff as me.
Yikes. I remember when I was 16 I thought I was asexual cause Tumblr told me so. Then I switched to demisexual.. then I realized I'm just a normal human being.
I really wish for all the young girls in that phase to see the truth for what it is like I eventually did.
Yeah kids don't need all those confusing, dumb extra labels that describes being a normal human.
This lady is 25 though so it's kinda sad.
I know this is an old post but are you me? I'm 28 but in a few months I'll be 29. I live in a small country where most of the youth is anti gay. It's just terrible. The dating apps are a disaster, it's either couples, woman pretending to be lesbian only to disclose later that she's with her bf/husband, or really older women (40+) that have families, children etc, or extremely young girls (18-19yo) who for some reason want to hook up with me. Also single moms that suddenly want nothing to do with men. And the few women that are around my age and lesbian, well, we just don't click.
I know that I have no other way but to move to a bigger city to start properly dating and most likely abroad too, but that's easier said than done. I think I'll just say fuck it and have casual sex with a woman in my proximity even if it leads to nothing.
I just wanted to commiserate but I hope you find someone. I know a few lesbian couples that have met in their late 30s even 40s and have been happily together ever since so that fills me with joy and gives me hope that I'll experience something as well.
I weirdly feel the same. I tend to look at cute women when they pass me by, but I also feel like an old creepy dude when I do. That realization and the feeling of shame however is what sets us apart from the males, so that's good.
But overall, unless you're being too weird about it or have actual bad intentions you shouldn't feel like a predator. I think in both of our cases, we're probably still just a bit ashamed of our sexuality.
Are you out anon? If you're not, then maybe that what it is. You probably feel like you're doing something you're not supposed to cause you're still trying to hide who you really are.
>>132249> Then again the balkans isn't the most accepting place of the lgbt.
Where in the balkans are you? I'm in Croatia.> I catch myself looking at cute girls at the gym or anywhere because idk, I feel like I shouldn't?
I get that feeling too and I wish I knew how to stop myself from doing that. Also, I'm often going on short trips with my friends and they don't have any qualms about undressing in front of me or sharing a bed. If they ever find out (because I'm still in the closet), they're going to get the wrong idea.
I'm out and pretty open about it, but most people don't care or don't take me serious since I've only been with a man. Idk at this point really>>132255
Also Croatia! But up north around Varaždin
Idk, most women never had an issue with it, then again I never had really close friends to begin with
>>132256> Also Croatia! But up north around Varaždin
Noice, I'm in the Kvarner bay.> Idk, most women never had an issue with it, then again I never had really close friends to begin with
I had a mixed experience. Since I'm in the closet a few women openly told me how they felt about gays and lesbians, and I was shocked when they had nothing but hatred for them. They were from conservative families and "religious". I'm obviously not friends with them, but due to uni and later work, you bump into them and after chatting for a while the LGBT topic came up a few times and there you go.
However, I also know a good number of women that don't care or that are supportive so there's that. I don't think my friends would mind. I do feel predatory for being around them and not telling them and since I'll probably die alone, I'm not sure if it's worth coming out of the closet anyway.
If there's one thing that's good about being a lesbian or bi in your case, it's that we're not usually taken seriously enough for others to go out of their way to bring harm. A lot of men that hate gays are okay with lesbians for that very reason.
I've seen lesbians online hardcorely sticking to that term, but not irl. Which leads me to think most of those were very likely larping scrotes.
However I want to know what do other lesbians think about it too.
I think it's okay to have a preference. Obviously not when it comes to rape victims
but I personally, would like someone that hasn't been with a man voluntarily.
That doesn't mean I don't consider women that used to date men as lesbians if they feel that way. And it's not even a 100% no-no, it's just a preference. I don't use the term gold star.
Lesbians already live in a phallocentric world and always get asked how they can know they're a lesbian if they haven't slept with a man or that they will eventually find a man who can "turn" them. Compulsory heterosexuality affects every woman so I don't doubt lesbians who have slept with men to be homosexual.
I don't use the term "gold star" nor do I care about someone's sexual history but it's primarily used in the gay community to prove "how gay they are", especially with lesbians, because a lot of women who call themselves "lesbian" aren't lesbian at all. Much of the vitriol is targeted at bi women because they are believed to prioritize heterosexual relationships. Many lesbians have personally experienced bi women playing around with their emotions and only using them for fun because they would never get into a serious relationship with another woman.
I'm open to dating a bi woman and I quite like some of them but I do get annoyed with bi women who call themselves "lesbian" or claim to understand the lesbian experience even though their sexual attraction to men makes it impossible for any lesbian to relate.
this specially if her ex was a moid
Also someone who is a full on "yandere" or someone who wants you to show her your phone 24/7 (or tries to snoop in to your stuff) avoid at all costs!
If it's a moid it isn't a real lesbian, stop with this insecure shit
An actual lesbian is super likely to get back with a recent ex or a long term ex. Happens all the time during ghostings too.
Yep! Totally thought I'm asexual for 2 years of my teen life. I even came out to my friend as an asexual bi-romantic or something like that.
But no, I'm just a lesbian with a low sex drive.
AYRT I also had intense feelings for my best friend that I didn't recognize as more than friendship and felt incredibly betrayed when she got (a very ugly /r9k/ type) boyfriend. >>132281
I also experienced CSA and wondered if that's why I'm a lesbian, but actually I think CSA made it harder for me to realize I liked women because I associated sex with negativity and pain and didn't connect those concepts to other girls. I also really struggled with worrying that I was in some way hurting women by being sexually attracted to them because being lusted after by grown men was very scary. Things are better now though and I have a really amazing girlfriend who helps me through my PTSD and always supports me.
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Sorry if it's a stupid question, but I have no one to talk about this.
How do I know if I'm a lesbian or bisexual?
Sex with guys was never exciting but I never did it with girls…
What is your preferred material to shlick to?
Erotica, fanart of women,let them be orc women or human woman, and
(good) fanfics for me because i'm forever an autistic nerd.>>132284
I realized after dating one single guy and kissing him tbh. It felt wrong. I could shlick to fanfics with anime men in it but it also felt weird when i passed 15yo and had my first girlfriend. And as it went,i just couldn't imagine being in a loving relationship with a man without getting goosebumps,and thinking about IRL sex with one grossed me out too, even trying to fantasize about it made me feel dirty.
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Where can you find beautiful erotic photos of women that aren't obviously by and for men or from the porn industry?
I get you, anon. I recently saw an acquaintance without makeup on for the first time I was genuinely shocked by how stunning she is (she's a makeup pro). I really hate the current makeup trend of stage/drag makeup on women because it's so unflattering and cakey. I also dislike the conspicuous consumerism that dominates the makeup community and I wouldn't be able to put up with that in a relationship. >>132295
I met my gf on Tinder! We matched and I put off meeting her for months because I felt so out of her league, but she really pursued me! When we finally went out everything just clicked and we pretty much have spent 80% of our time together ever since! We definitely u-hauled kek and I can't imagine life without her now. She's literally everything I ever dreamed of when I fantasized about my future and I can't believe I'm so lucky.
That's a really cute story, I'm happy for you anon!>>132298
Someone asked admin to save this thread once /2X/ gets archived and she said yes, so I think we safe.
This is gonna be a bit of a vent, I like being a lesbian, I really do, but I've experienced a lot of traumatic shit because of it. I was badly abused by my family because of it, lost jobs, faced discrimination in college, was shunned out of my church, and most of entire family. I'm nearly middle aged now, and have a stable life in spite of all that shit in my past but still I'm alone amd I just don't have on outgoing personality, I have a couple of great guy friends, as per my interests are bit more male-dominated but… I would like to have at least one girlfriend or even just one female friend
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Filing for divorce tomorrow… for a long time I thought I was a narcissist or sociopath or just someone incapable of love, I finally understood who I was after a few months of soul searching. There were so many signs, notably the fantasizing and hooking up with girls since high school. Wearing boys clothes and my best friends yelling at me for it. Finding men physically repulsive. And every single one just went right over my head.
I do love my husband. There was never a doubt. Even if ur not attracted to a person you can love them deeply. Like the love you have for your mother or sister or cousin or child. and I think that's why It tooke me so long to come out, Having to hurt the person you love the most and made a promise to isn't easy, I do wish it didn't have to be this way but we both deserve beteer
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Welcome to the club, nonny
! That was really brave of you!
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>>132303>I do love my husband. There was never a doubt. >Also you think you're a lesbian
how are you in love with someone who you're not ever capable of being attracted to ?
Good luck, anon! It feels so liberating to finally be able to like and love who you really want.>>132305
She said she loves him like a sibling or cousin or child, not that she's in love with him.
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I want to wear matching clothes with a cute girl and take stupid pics together
You just sound just like a friend of mine anon, she had awful experiences with girls in high school (abusive
) and her second GF was also abusive
, but to a lesser extent. She's now dating a guy and I always wonder if its because of her bad experiences before. I'm not in her brain obviously but she identified as a lesbian, never bi, until I guess now. I don't have any great advice for you but I really hope you find a cute, nice girl. Maybe some actual lesbians can give you advice, and not just me, friend of lesbian.
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Tbh when I saw >>132325
post, thought the same thing. Always freaking weeb clothes and/or striped socks.
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For the first time ever in my life, I have a Valentine! …and potential GF, but it isn't official yet. She's coming over to my place to cook dinner for us for Valentines and I'm just so happy and excited and so, so nervous. Wish me luck, anons.
are you sexually attracted to guys?
are you sexually attracted to girls?
yes? you're bi.
don't overthink it anon
Sounds like you are bi but men have just been shitty to you so you're cautious around them
I'm bi but my disliking of men (based on shitty exes) makes me wish I was lesbian. Would make life simpler lol
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wow thank you for posting this i relate so hard… i keep coming out to people as "bi" even though i know i will never ever experience romantic or sexual attraction to a guy… it just seems easier to pretend like im still "normal" which is so fucked up to say… wish i had any advice for you (and myself lol) but i dont. idk i hope itll get better with time…
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What am I if I'm a virgin and don't like the idea of sex? I've dated more women than men, and all the gfs I had I actually loved. They only ended from the other side or because they'd cheated. My bfs I dated because I felt bad they liked me but I broke up with all them. I can get off to the idea of gay or straight sex. I find men cute I guess if they look nice physically but not in a 'let's fuck' way. Women I find beautiful and maybe if I really loved her I wouldn't mind trying something sexual. Always labeled myself bisexual because I don't hold a large disgust towards men. They just arent someone I want to end up with as my long term partner. I think I'm also scared if I was lesbian rather than bi my family would disown me. My parents always shit talked gay couples and called them its, things, a gross spectacle.
Tbh that's what I was worried about after my last gf sent a long article of attributes in lesbians. I'm probably too scared to come out due to family. Also the amount of men who weasel into lesbian only spaces to begin with. Thinking the right dick will turn them around.>>133382
Maybe, I had some sexual abuse as a kid that still haunts me a bit. Sort of a fear of being completely vulnerable and open while naked. My mom also found out I was watching a lesbian show a while back. She immediately threw insults like crotch munchers, scissoring, how unnatural it is. That sat in my mind for a while blocking intimacy with that gf.
I'm in a similar situation where homophobic parents and childhood sexual abuse aren't helping me figure out what I am exactly. Are you able to access therapy that'll deal with the abuse?
> She immediately threw insults like crotch munchers, scissoring, how unnatural it is
Ah yes, cos sucking on a penis is so godly, beautiful and natural lol
Not really and I have bigger issues right now in terms of time/bills to deal with. I'm probably just a lesbian who's hard closeted by herself.
Also kek not sure why I hadn't thought of that
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Sorry if this sounds extra dumb, but I have kinda the same doubts as >>133905
and something else: whenever I’m around a girl I consider attractive/beautiful, it’s like my brain freezes?? Sometimes I feel completely worthless of even being close to her.
I don’t know if this is a result of the bullying I suffered on middle school (when other girls would call me names and other stuff and I felt like an insect around them). Even though I know I’m considered attractive to men, I’m afraid of not being cute to girls? It’s a very strange feeling, I hate it. How do I feel more confident around other girls and stop having war flashbacks from my days of middle school?
I'm on the verge of pulling the trigger
myself. I hope I am able to go through with it once the stupid virus crisis is over and I have money saved up to leave this relationship.
do you see men romantically or do you just feel like having sex with them?
if you hate men like the anons in the pink pill thread it's hard to not feel disgusted by them too
You must be lesbian then.
I remember my lesbian friend telling me she could find men handsome but in the same way we think a statue is beautiful with no sexual attraction whatsoever.
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Thank you for answering ! My two favorite era in fashion are the 1940's and the late victorian era. If I set my hair the night before ( like 5 times a week ) I will go out with something like the girl on the left, if it's cold outside and I want to be comfy, I will wear something inspired by the victorian era like the girl on the right ( if you take off the glasses it's exactly the look I have, especially the awkard pose and smile).
I don't own any normal clothes anymore, vintage clothes are very confortable. To be honest, I feel like the only thing that's holding me back to go crazier with perfect historical accuracy is money and time.
So now my question is, if you saw me on a dating site, would you be scared lol ? Would you at least try to talk to me or the clothes would be red flag ?
I don't know of it's intersting to add this but I live in a country where historical reenactment is really rare. Also the lady on the left is Karolina Żebrowska and the women on the right is Bernadette Banner, feels bad taking their image without crediting
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I love vintage fashion so it would be really cool to meet a woman who dresses like that.
It's a gamble because you will attract women who are into the same things as you but others might find it too off-putting.
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Hey thank you both for answering>>135049
I totally understand, people do stare a lot and I wouldn't want my girlfriend to be uncomfortable in public because of me ! Thank you for being honest and answering me anon !>>135050
Omg who are you ? I've litteraly never met a lesbian who liked this style, that's a really nice comment, you are giving me hope !
(the meme is just a joke about the situation a friend sent to me one day)
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Well I'm bi and European.
Adèle Haenel looked dreamy in her blue cape in "Portrait of a lady on fire"…
No. Everyone just kind of dresses normally here. Some more fashionably/on trend than others sure, but you very rarely see people dressed in "weird" things like goth or vintage. The amount of times I've seen a goth can be counted on one hand.
I don't think subcultures with a big emphasise on fashion live as strongly here as they seem to do in different parts of the world. I think it's funny you said "Do you not have friends who're part of a subculture" as if that's normal or common. Maybe it is where you are? It's not here. All my friends just dress normally.
Oh wow, where do you live anon?
Im from a pretty backwards place but even then being goth or dressing vintage isn't super strange, someone might talk to you and compliment or ask questions but i've never been looked too weird or harassed for dressing not on trend.
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this movie was so beautiful, i cried a lot watching it, and yes so many beautiful capes! I'm also from europe, I really hope you are not having too much trouble in your country!>>135066
thank you so much ! 60's and 70's are so cool! What are your style inspo? Are you currently doing a sewing project? I would love to know more ! ( sorry I get overexited about sewing lol )
>>135037>is it weird my so-called lesbian friends are making out and having sex with men
Yeah, they're just bi lmao.
Related, I wonder why do so many bi women claim to be lesbians? Is it a way to turn on men? To appear more special? What's wrong with just admitting you're bi? I wish they stopped doing it, because this way men are even more inclined to keep harrassing you after you tell them you're a lesbian, since "See, there are lesbians that have sex with men, you must like dick after all"
I think it is the bisexuals are sluts stereotype and some women hate men so they can be ashamed of being attracted to them. But sure I wish people would not do this as it hurts actual lesbians and strenghtens the belief that only lesbians seriosly date women and bi women only want sex and date men.>>135079
Also more masculine women can feel more comfortable identifying as lesbians because they have this butch/femme thing. Straight and bi girls are always expected to be feminine.
I honestly think you may be an outlier in this situation. I second the question, where do you live?
Idk about the vintage clothes OP, but if she lives in Poland (I'm guessing from the second photo), people staring shouldn' be a big issue (unless she in a tiny village). Plenty of subcultures and feminine vintage clothing is hardly controversial (especially like the first example). I imagine OP getting a lot of compliments.
TBH it seems sad for me to throw away a chance for a friend or a gf because random people may stare (assuming this is the only 'isssue' and you are compatible ofc), but you do you.
I reply very late but all your inspirations are super interesting ( seems like you have great taste in music too ! ) I didn't know about the GTO's so I went on a rabbit hole to learn more about them, thank you very much for making me discover them ! I really like Zapa, so it was nice to learn about a group he has produced ! I totally relate to the crush on Janis Joplin lol, she has the cutest smile!
Your futur dress sounds so cool! I had to do sleeve in lace once and I remember the pain, so I'm sending you all my courage for that part! I'm sure it's going to look great! I'm going to come home soon so I will finally have access to my sewing machine, I hope that you will also be able to create and have some fun during the quarantine too and that you are not risking your health because you are forced to work in contact with people.
NTA but dressing like that'd definitely make ppl stare in any big city in North and South America
I think it'd be more acceptable in Europe and Asia
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Anyone else find butches annoying/embarrassing? Not sure if I'm being autistic and letting my femxfem preference shine through, but the butch always seems like a caricature of what they think a man should be like, if that makes sense? it's so exaggerated. >>132206
Yes, and I'm glad you pointed it out. Seems like the ones that like to flirt are often taken already. as well. (not to mention the constant sexual comments from bi girls with boyfriends).
It makes me distrust most lesbians who make romantic suggestions towards me because I feel as though they're just being social/polite. It's more often seen in online groups than irl imo.
Like they give you secondhand embarrassment?
I like butch women but I got secondhand embarrassment around one lately because I thought she was forcing her voice to sound deeper and being exaggerated in sitting like a man etc, It just felt too put on.. in general though I have a preference for butch women if it's naturally who they are and doesn't come off as a performance. I probably fit the soft butch label myself.
yea, like you said, it feels too put on. Butch women who are comfortable with who they are are great, but the ones that go for the stereotypical "I'm presenting as butch therefore I need to dress and act like one" gets old real quick.. It doesn't seem genuine.
Soft butch is the best butch, they always look comfy :)
I know some lesbians who have celebrity crushes for male actors/musicians. They wouldn’t touch a real man but like the character.
I was once, a very long time ago, a baby lesbian too womdering if I’m ”gay enough”. There is some people who want to prove the world they are the purest most vagina loving lesbo ever. But when your identity has formed to stable adulthood those labels don’t seem so crucial
thank you so much for responding. i guess i'm bothered because i'm out to everyone in my life as a lesbian and the thought of having to come out a second time as bisexual makes me really uncomfortable, since they'd think i actually like men, which i don't, which i guess means i'm not bisexual. so straightforward now i think about it! >>135802
i posted him in the unconvential male attractions thread a few days ago haha, jg thirlwell. crazy talented and creative composer, somehow only improves over the decades.
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Anon, if pussy doesn't turn you on in some capacity, you're not gay you're straight especially considering the fact that most straight women have some form of crush on other women it's completely natural as women can be quite enigmatic and beautiful however this doesn't make you gay.
If the thought of spending your life (sexually & romantically) with another woman doesn't give you butterflies then i wouldn't ponder your sexuality too much. Oh and for the record most straight women loathe men on an emotional basis, it's just seems to be a thing with you guys.
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My favorite lesbian movie is Kamikaze Girls.
I know this is a couple days old but this is one the main issues I take issue with butches, I also hate the forced wanna be tough shtick
like seriously not wearing make up, being obese and watching porn doesn't sound make you tough, like I had an ex butch gf who was like this
like she couldn't accept that I could out-lifted her, cause I actually went to the gym while she sat at home all day watching tv
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Dealing with horny lez gremlins is a chore sometimes
What are lez gremlins?>>136388
In an ideal world where gender roles weren't a thing, I'd say having a sissy kink w men is straight. But there are some lesbians who cope with their closetedness by finding subconscious loopholes in their sexuality to live it out with men in straight relationships.
Comphet is a huge obstacle and I wouldn't rule out being gay simply bc of the world we live in today. I'd say look into some comphet resources before settling on being hetero.
late, but I feel you anon. The absolute worst date I've ever been on with my life was with this super masc skinhead bulldyke type girl. She looked cute, but spent the entire time bragging about how many bar fights she'd been in, about carrying a switchblade (and showed it to me in a public place, though carrying those is illegal in my country), talking about how "women shouldn't curse" when I swore in front of her (and when I pointed out "but you're a woman too and you swear a lot" she just said "oh, its different though") and just saying all these things that seemed like a caricature of what a lesbian is supposed to be like. She was a friend of an older friend that I had had a crush on since my early teen years and she used to be really rude to me until I became an adult and grew boobs and I guess suddenly became worthy of her attention, but I never texted/called her back after that terrible date. She also kept talking about this girl she had recently dated and saying a lot of terrible misogynistic things about her, it made me realise that even if i had been attracted to her and gone home with her that she'd probably have just talked like that about me to her next girl. Overall I like masc girls because I find them attractive, but I'd prefer someone that doesn't try quite so hard to act the living embodiment of a stereotype and doesn't act so rudely in public.
The ideal girl for me is definitely someone butch/masc in appearance, but gentle and normal in personality and for whom the "manly" thing doesn't seem so forced and cringey.
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Had a dream where a male friend of mine was going to ask a female friend of mine out, and i got really jealous and upset in the dream. i have never looked at her in that way in all my life but when i woke up i started doubting myself wondering if i have a crush on my dear friend of more than 10 years. really hoping this goes away once the effect of the dream wears off because she's engaged lmao
Which characters do you find him attractive playing?
I’m questioning my sexuality (and gender, but thats for another thread) a lot lately. I’d say I’d describe myself as a lesbian, but I can’t tell if my lack of attraction to men is due to my second boyfriend passing away a few years ago. As a kid I was always very fixated on women and femininity, I can cite my first crushes always back to other girls in my class (especially a tall girl in my first grade class named Megan) or adult women, I’d be so enamored with them and not know whether I wanted to be them or be with them. The attraction and relationships I have had with men have been incredibly circumstantial, my first kiss was with a boy that I broke the arm of for taking a toy from me on the playground, and my next one was the following year with my best friend at the time. I told her it was my first because it felt like it was. My first boyfriend I started dating mostly because he wore a skirt / kilt to school every day and would have violent outbursts that caught my eye, and my mother’s abuse towards me increased after I attempted to come out as a lesbian by dating my first girlfriend the previous summer. It was my first year of highschool and I was desperate to do anything that was going to put me back on the right side of things in my mothers eyes especially since we live in the south and were a strict religious family. In a long story short you can guess that he didnt treat me well, and after a year of drug induced experiences leading to me being hit and screamed at by someone other than my mother for once, that led to being introduced to a grown man who was a serial rapist to “teach me a lesson” and sequentially raped me that year, i took quite a long period of sexual abstinence and having a few romantic flings here and there with women. When I turned 17 I started doing sex work because I was so detached from my body and genitals that I figured, whats the worst that could happen? A lot is the worst that can happen. To make a long story short, I ended up seeing too many men to count through this period of time and dissociating heavily because of it, just not caring what happened to myself, eventually falling back into drug habits I fought so long to kick. I met my last boyfriend through a day job I had, he helped me quit sex work for good and see that there are good men out there but that I’m definitely not attracted to them sexually or romantically, I loved him more than I can conceive and he did more for me than any person on or off this planet but I could not feel the way any ex girlfriend or even girls I’d develop crushes on made me feel. TLDR,Does attraction boil down to just how you feel towards people? or after a certain point / “body count”, do your sexual actions define your sexuality? I personally feel confident in my developing identity and in calling myself a lesbian (especially after having it used against me so much growing up and even as a woman attracted adult), but do other lesbians feel animosity towards people like me identifying as lesbians? sorry for big blog post this has just been on my mind a lot lately.
Anon above me is part of the answer you seek. Yes, some lesbians will judge you if you tell them your experiences, and I’d honestly wouldn’t care, you don’t really need that kind of toxicity in your life.
It sounds to me that you already know you’re a lesbian, exploring your sexuality does not make you any less lesbian if you feel like you’re attracted only to woman.
I hope you get through your bad experiences and heal, Anon, and also find a loving and understanding gf.
Apparently. Condolences to the anon who spilled her heart and got told to fuck off. >>138343>>138344
It's the way you say it, retard. God is this bait?? What the fuck am I reading, ugh! I can't wait till you leave this board.
See? Damn I thought there would be camaraderie in here but I guess if you don't fill out Lesbian Attributes A, B, and C, you're a moron and not allowed to define yourself.
Have some fucking empathy, god damn.
Imagine telling gay men to stop gatekeeping because they don't want to deal with bi-shit men / larpers.
You look stupid. Stop.
Yeah, you go girl.
Anyone can be a lesbian if they want to. You, your father, your friends, your pets. Spread the word. Also, don't forget to buy our $9.99 LGBTQ+ badge. >>138341
I'm sorry to see you're hurting hun. Don't listen to those bullies. You're a beautiful human bean and you're heckin valid
. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Anon sweetie, Ignore all of these annoying gold stars that ruin the L in LBGT because they automatically assume that in this hetronormative life we all live that if any woman felt that they were forced to be with men that they're not valid
. Your upbringing is actually very standard for most women growing up as a lesbian, getting in to horrible toxic
relation ships with men is very common and furthers the confusion of finding your sexuality. I'm thankful that you were willing to share your story with us since so many young girls are currently dealing with similar situations (hopefully not to the extent of SW) and if they find this thread I hope that they realize that even if they have been with men it doesn't make them any less of a lesbian. >>138365>>138370>>138373>>138375
Jesus fucking Christ Shut the fuck up. Goldstar is bullshit and all you do is make young lesbians feel like shit because the're socially forced to date men. She literally stated that her mother was abusive
and she lives in the South in America where there's still murders of gay women. Not every one has the privilege of being able to safely be out and proud.
Fuck off with your reddit validating shit. I'm one of those anons that you addressed and I live in the slavlands. Lots of people have sob stories. Just because it's not socially acceptable to be a lesbian doesn't mean you need to hop from one dick to another.
I mean, she can but every lesbian has the right to judge her however she pleases. So you and someone else might not find it a big deal, I just wouldn't be able to get over that fact. I'd rather stay alone.
I'm sick of bisexual women having a short term crush or just a slight attraction to a woman and immediately going for the lesbian label when there's no harm in being a bisexual. Lesbians are barely being taken seriously by anyone as it is and it's partly thanks to LGBT media being so inclusive and promoting the idea that anyone can be anything if they want to and people like you completely ignoring the point of sexual attraction. I didn't choose to be born like this and it's not a passing feeling for me like it's not for so many actual lesbians. If you're seriously triggered
by the fact that a lot of lesbians don't want to date women who have a long (voluntary) history with men, then I suspect you're not a lesbian either. Make a bisexual inclusive thread so no one's feelings get hurt. I can't believe it's always the same story. The only thing that's lacking is couples looking for a threesome and a few transbians thrown into the mix.
You're so close-minded. Sad. >>138426
They literally are tho, they just won't call it what it is. Are you slow?>>138370
I would do that, if I gave a fuck.(infighting)
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Speaking of goldstar, why is it an issue anyway?
Like, if some lesbians were lucky enough to figure out they weren't interested in men from the very start, why not be happy about it?
It's kind of sad that anything related to goldstar lesbian is thrown in a pejorative context and despite it being a term that refers to both gay men and lesbians, most of the attack is directed towards lesbians as per usual.
The argument is that it supposedly distinguishes between "purer" lesbians and those that are less pure, but that's mainly because the other side projects that. My guess is that the rise of bashing goldstar lesbians is due to it being transphobic.
yeah I think you are guessing right anon. lgbt people are obssesed with inclusivity for the better an the worse.
Also what the fuck is "cissexist", I've never heard it before, I must be getting old
cissexist is I think the fact that one judges the other person based on their genitalia. For example, in that article thinking that people who have dicks are men is bad and very backwards which makes it easy to understand why the lgbt crowd dislikes any form of purism i.e. being a gold star lesbian.
I wonder what other terms await us in the 2020s.
Only it doesn't?
Being a lesbian means that it should be normal to say that you didn't have sex with men. Like I said, it invalidates because you're projecting.
Why is it normal for gay men to never have sex with women but for lesbians it seems like a problematic
issue to have never had sex with men?
Since this seems to be a sensitive topic, I won't bother asking further. It's a shame because I think it's an interesting subject and related to how the society doesn't take lesbians seriously.
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Why do girls on tinder always ghost me
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I just need to vent.
I hit it off with this girl before the corona shitstorm but before things could get serious, our university closed and we had to move home. She lives in a neighbouring country and with the borders closed, there was no way to see each other. We kept up over the phone but I'm not too good at that so sometimes I wasn't the best conversation partner… I did notice that I was catching feelings but since we couldn't see each other and I had some other stuff to worry about, I kind of pushed it out of my mind.
Now she's told me that she's dropping out of our uni to pursue a different degree in her home country, so we probably won't see each other ever again. Welp.
I'm still hoping she'll tell me once she's back in our country, moving out stuff from her dorms so I can see her again and fuck her (although that would probably make my feelings stronger so idk, a girl can dream tho right)
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same anon, I matched with a bunch of girls and always texted first, they straight up don't reply or expect you to carry the whole conversation, I got so bored and angry that I deleted it. fuck anybody that says dating women is easy.
anyways, I have been really conflicted lately about my gender presentation, I want to be masculine but i'm scared of being treated like a butch (with all the weird heteronormative expectations) and somedays I want to doll myself up but i'm absolutely disgusted by the men that stare at me and approach me.
not like wearing masculine clothes and having short hair it's going to stop them, I KNOW, but I feel more secure doing so
any anons have this conflict as well? I wish people would see the current me as androgynous but I don't know if that's the impression i give or i'm just projecting hard my wishes into reality
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i get incredibly annoyed when i see men co-opting lesbian art/photography. i absolutely love this image, because it was drawn by a woman, and i like death grips (lol) but i fucking hate that they used this image for an album. am i autistic?
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I will never meet a cute woman who has her shit together and wants to form a powercouple with me.
I mean there is a slight chance I might but 100% I will fuck it up again
I was wondering "Am I still a virgin?" after we did that for a few days. I made her cum the first two times thru her panties and the third time I fingered her. I came to the conclusion that since nothing was done to ME (I didn't want it), I was still a virgin that just fooled around like the straights do.
Since then I let her touch me in all ways so I don't consider myself a virgin anymore.
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nta and am latvian kek, homophobia is just kinda widespread even in the younger generations here, don't mind her. i get what you mean with the feeling like a creepy man while approaching women, i relate and i think think it's part of the reason why i don't have any very close female friends anymore since realising i am bi,
it just feels like i am a wolf in sheeps clothing and I can't be fully myself and as close as i would like to be. I do realise its just my internal bs, my friends being eastern european and upbringing (re: start of the sentence)
I wouldn't mind so long as you're cute. My current girlfriend is weebtrash and too bad it's long distance otherwise we'd totally go on dates in weird asf outfits and enjoying being cute misfits together.
also I really hate it when guys hit on me. Makes me want to go grab a fork and gouge their eyes out. And it's like no I didn't look your way you fucking filthy pig. Makes me so angry thinking about it
Hey, thank you for being nice. This was really making me feel like shit.
Of course I still eat her out, I may not enjoy it as much as she does doing it, but I do it cause I want her to feel good and I love her. I like your idea of lubes, I may try different ones.>>142582
As I said, she doesn't smell. I'm pretty sure her taste is just normal vagina taste. I just don't love it and don't find it very sexy to be down there..
Yeah, me neither. I mean, I have online but I haven't met them and they're too far anyway.
Thanks though. Maybe one day…
They exist, my country has a conservative lesbian politician, but imo I don't understand why you would want to align yourself with a group that don't want you and at best will only see your as "one of the good ones".
Still, your kind do exist so you should be able to find one