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Ashley thread #8.
public & anon-enabled
Erika stabilizes and writes a love letter to /pt/
Ashley is decorating stupid iPhone cases and plans to do a series of Q&As on Youtube.
Will we find out who made the spooky phone-call? Will Ashley's business take off? Probably not, but we'll watch this bullshit either way.
Previous thread #7 >>81899
thread #6: >>76718
thread #5: >>66250
thread #4: >>40939
thread #3: >>34685
thread #2: >>32362
thread #1: >>21279
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>I was only 9 years old
>I loved Ash so much, I had all her penpal letters and care packages
>I binge and purge to Ash every night before bed, thanking her for all those triggering messages on her tumblr
>"Ash is love" I say. "Ash is death"
>My mom hears me and calls an ambulance
>I knew she was just jealous of my devotion for Ash
>I called her a fat cunt
>She slaps me and sends me to recovery
>I'm crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and its really cold
>A figure is limping towards me
>I feel something touch me
>I am so happy
>she whispers in to my ear, "I can't wait to see you stuffed with fat"
>She grabs me with her weak, skeleton hands and puts me on my hands and knees
>I spread my ass cheeks for Ash
>She penetrates my butthole with her boner
>It hurts so much but I do it for Ash
>I can feel the krispy kreme rise up my throat as my eyes start to water
>I puke against her force
>I want to please Ash
>She rasps a mighty croak as she fills my butt with her love
>My mom walks in
>Ash looks her straight in the eye and says. "It's all over now"
>Ash flies through the window
>Ash is love, Ash is death
>>89992>I loved Ash so much, I had all her penpal letters and care packages>I binge and purge to Ash every night before bed, thanking her for all those triggering messages on her tumblr
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This was JUST posted by Ash on her tumblr.
Hey, Ash. How about mixing your new intro vido with clips from your old ones and doing a bit of a catch up since 2007?>>90007
Nopes. Anons usually come up something new, but pretty sure we've not seen all 16 or 17 of her posts. When they're all selfies in her car or at target, they kinda blend into one.
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Macaroni and cheese appears again.
Oh for FUCK'S SAKE. Jesus F Christ. What NOW?
1. People don't practically live in hospitals. You're lucky if you can get a bed. People about to croak it are left in corridors because there are no beds.
I'm not even going to go any further. If I
need to know what I'm talking about before I comment, then so does everyone else, so stfu. You know nothing about our system. Shush now, dear.
I agree, UK anon was out of line but let's ignore it. All too often these threads are derailed by arguments like these.
To be honest, the whole sparkles, glitter, stickers on a jelly case sounds horrible. The durability would be awful. I wish she'd just get treatment instead of floundering in the throes of death.
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I hope she posts here someday.
Also, she's getting sassy, haha.
I'm pretty sure Ash has her own room. (Old youtube)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMIkw6enlqo
That apartment's in the others as well, with the bunny and her friend and it doesn't look like a hovel.
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Just on the off chance Erika ever reads this.
Erika you're probably making the best decision of your life.
Recovery is a difficult thing, as a recovered anorexic this is something you and I will be able to understand more than most people.
I am always seeing people complimenting you on your looks and it's true, you've been graced with beauty, but beyond that you're clearly an articulate, intelligent woman and within that lies power, but in order to enact that power you need the strength to maintain that, strength both mentally and physically and this is something that a lack of nutrition is quite adept in sapping.
Beyond anything you're first a woman who presently suffers with disordered habits, not a disordered woman. Please never allow what ails you to define you when you possess so much more than that.
You have potential to forge an amazing life from here and that's something to be sought and cherished, but as with everything, wisdom is derived from experience. You cannot experience anything in its complete potential when you're not living, only existing.
When you give in to these compulsions that dog you throughout every second it's weakness, to stand up and say no is what's really powerful.
Stand up, be strong, kick and scream and tear your way towards life. We're all behind you.
That was beautiful Anon. Erika is a shining ray of hope in an otherwise depressing and aggravating thread.
You could have this support too Ash, you've burned your bridge completely with some anons but…>>90046
I agree. If you have insta, DM her this. She's very sweet and open. I've talked to her myself.
Can you DM on IG without a phone? I broke my phone and am waiting on a new one.
Oh well I just left it in the comments. I hope she doesn't think it intrusive.>>90048
I have no idea. Online IG confuses me. She'll read it and I doubt she'll think it intrusive, she seems genuinely thankful about our support. Plus I think the part >you're first a woman who presently suffers with disordered habits, not a disordered woman. is very touching and something I think she should hear.>>90050
She's allowed her phone. I think if we want to send any messages of support we should DM her on Instagram. She seems to be using hers as a diary and to keep in touch with people. But yes, anyone who is put inpatient is allowed to receive mail.
I get that this is "the" bitch forum, and trust me I am one of the biggest bitches here and am probably responsible for like a 4th of the dramu on this site, but that doesn't mean we're not allowed to be supportive.
Erika seems like a decent person with a problem a lot of us can relate to and sympathise with. We want to see her get better so that she doesn't turn into some twisted, bitter gargoyle creature like Ash.
Ugh, I know. It's kind of cool how there is kind of a good/evil parallel going on between Erika and Ash. Their reactions to people and situations are basically exactly opposite. >>90068
She couldn't. Erika cares too much about other people while Ash… Ash maybe only cares about her rabbit at the very most.
Oh, Erika… You're not and never were disgusting, just sick and that's ok. You didn't choose this for yourself even if you think you're partly responsible, you're not. You're a fantastic person IMO. Look at how many posters in this specific thread are happy for you.>>90021>>90044>>90046>>90048>>90049>>90050>>90054>>90055>>90060>>90063>>90064>>90068>>90078>>90079>>90080>>90083
We dig ya' too.
To keep on topic, I'm very interested in seeing what Ash is actually going to make with this crafting bullshit. Just stickers and glitter on phone cases?? What does she think this is going to do for her? If she wants a hobby or to do something creative go do arts and crafts at an ED center.
No? It doesn't look like it at all to me. He just said some supportive words and I doubt she'd wait until she's shipped off to a recovery center in Denver to start one. You're looking too deeply, Anon. ;)
It would be interesting, but nah.
Yeah, but most people on the spectrum are obsessed with harmless things like Sonic the Hedgehog and trains. >>90121
Oh thank god.
Maybe it' the morbid 'can't look away from a car crash' thing… Let's be honest, a lot of the Ashley/Erika shit is enthralling. I mean, this is our 8th fucking thread, hahah. They're both interesting but I think Jolt/ForestCat is trying to insert herself in the drama and stir things up, hence her bringing us up, ect.>>90116
Sorry, wasn't trying to be dismissive, Anon. D: I'd ask her if I could stand the thought of talking to her but alas, I cannot.>>90122
Haha,I agree. Anorexia would be a very odd obsession. She'd probably have pictures of women with it on her IG if she had a fixation though.>>90127
I lol'd at 'professional glitter glue' so hard. Ash, just get help. This crafting thing is going to be a disaster.
The phone cases. When people here were encouraging her to do something other than binge, a couple of anons said it'd be nice if she sent the things she made in giveaways instead of food. I thought that's what she'd be doing. Selling them - whut? - uh. That's not going to work.
Out of curiosity I googled what others do to customize their iphone cases, and WELL it's more than glitter and MLP stickers. Really fancy, crafty things you'd pay for. Sorry, Ash. Shoulda opted for making bracelets.
I know, as opposed to what? Amateur glitter glue?>>90152
I can't begin to imagine…
That's what we're imagining too but 'professional glitter glue' is kind of a ironic statement. Those things suck and would fall off a gel case in like, a day.
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Whoops, wrong file.
The quality of new banners lately is amazing.
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Would it melt the plastic or peel off?
Image: professional glitterglue - 88 cents
Admin-senpai, come look at what PT made you!!!>>90165
I assume it would peel off rather quickly.
Maybe I'm in the minority but I've always been vastly disapproving of bring small children into our drama.
Don't pick on her kid ffs, she has nothing to do with any of this.
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Anyone else notice Jackie commenting on everything Ash posts lately? What's up with her?
She's mental in a creepy way. Not to sound nasty, but she comes across as a bit retarded.
Why do wanarexics always lie flat to show off ribs and hips? Of course they stick out when you're lying down. She's breathing in and lifting herself up too for maximum effect.
Yeah, she's different and I don't think she can help it.>>90144
I think the reason why she likes Disney is because they get a TON of Make-A-Wish kids and critically ill people and they're trained to dealing with them in a way that is respectful and kind. They will go out of their way to treat her well there. They probably assume she's a terminal cancer patient.
Oh my god the way we see her face in the shot with the triple chin
My fucking sides have reached orbit
it's almost not even the characters but just the overall design. the colors, the other little flowers and hearts and stuff, etc. i mean i have hello kitty pjs but they look like they're made for an adult. it looks like you could take the fabric from those and make some onesies.
i know, off-topic, but i felt like mentioning it.
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Meanwhile this cunt is at KK getting her hourly binge foods in.
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Ash pretending her blue hair was natural and not a wig
Regardless if it's self induced by a filter or due to natural causes, the statement still stands you sperg.
And yes, her organs are failing so it's definitely jaundice.
Black emojis? Oh no, Ashley will be quaking with fear.
She uploaded a new video to tumblr btw. Some jerk bought her dvds.
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back to the donuts. i wondered what Superhero day was and found the fb page. you have to take your superhero along? so that means…ASHLEY…is her mother's superhero??? correct me if I've got this wrong, but it looks as if you needed to nominate someone for being ~special~https://www.facebook.com/events/1576288702626912/
Indeed. You don't buy your bulimic daughter 12 donuts so she can get another 12 free.>>90297
Yeah, fuzzy face.
IIRC not long ago she was bitching on one of her social media platforms about how they made emojis with new skin colors, but none of the new colors are a paler
white than the white one..
She tried to help the useless little shit.
You can't force people to get help if they don't want it.
Nigger what no???!!!!!
How do i even come off as skeletor?
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~professional glitter glue~
Oh my god it is not inches long. Yes, that's normal arm hair. It just looks longer because she's emaciated.
For more information, please search "myth of growing hair after death."
I use a cover where you slot your phone in and it's got a front cover like a book because I don't want the screen scratched. Those stickers wouldn't even last a day's worth of playing Candy Crush and you're right - glitter gets everywhere.
I like the idea that she can make a case with 1000 stickers. >>90343
Ooooh. I read it on one of her pics but I've forgotten now. I think she posted it recently? Someone's going to know.
Ahahaha - no need to be defensive. I was looking at her ig trying to find the height thing and that thought about her hair occurred to me. It's difficult for one person to pull off different styles and colors, but she does.
I'd post what you have. It's out in the public, so I don't think it's anything she'd rather people not see. We all look at her account anyway.
To touch upon this, I think the coverage she gets in these threads is fair enough. I mean, it's really fun to get excited for her but I think the less we have about her online, the better for her in the long run but in these threads I think it's fair game. I'm just saying we don't want to draw extra attention that may not be as well intentioned as ours.>>90362
That's what worries me. Yustas poses the biggest risk in this getaway.>>90363>>90365
Ashley already dealt the lowest blow possible and E bounced back. Buuuut, Ashley… If you are reading this and you pull something like that again, you'll probably find out what real cyberbullying is. I wouldn't go that far, but some posters might. Just a fair warning. :/>>90369
I really think that would be a bad idea, guys. The less of a trail we leave of her, the better.
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I agree for her own protection.
Also, some good news.
Yustas had a shock when he realized how sick Erika is. He'd have to be the biggest cunt in the universe to do anything to stop her getting her health back. Whatever's been said about him, I'd think not knowing if Erika was going to pull through has given him a wake up call.
Don't even think negative things. Superstitious maybe, but best to think positive.>>90388
I'd agree with this. I hope she doesn't feel massive pressure to do well and fast because she feels she was letting down followers and donators and people who care when she hits a rough patch. I'd feel pressure, so idk. Maybe tone it down a bit.
TWENTY FOUR FUCKING DONUTS
Can we all agree not to then? I'd be very worried. I know people with ill intentions could find these threads just as well, but it's kind of masked by Ashley's bullshit. >>90389
Agreed!! I mean, we cannot expect perfection from a human being. Plus recovery is a roller-coaster, not a straight incline. We're going to see her sliding back sometimes and I hope everyone is prepared for that and won't flip on her the second things don't look as bright.>>90392
I would be inclined to agree if I hadn't seen this. >>89985
If something changes and she finds us detrimental I'll deal with that then.
It worries her, but is starting to worry less and less. It scares her a little though. But then again >>89985
She says we have been of use though and I'd trust her judgement in saying that so I agree that we should be able to talk about her.
what the fuck?
This the first time I heard her voice
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can't torrent food. if all she has was gift cards to fast food places on her wishlist that would look sus.
*Abd I'm pretty shock. Based on how you all were speaking, I imagined a gravel-like smoker voice that's kinda low pitched. Damn.
i was quite shocked at it too. she sounds like a child and an old lady both at once.
in a way it goes with the first two things come to mind when looking at her, which are "old" and "sick".
there's this anorexic woman i saw in a docu once. she was about 25 and looked like she's stuck in a 9 yearold's body. sounded like it as well.
Imagining that voice coming out of that face gives me the heebie jeebies.
Also dat vocal tremor
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As also updated her fb, just in case you were wondering how she felt about those donuts.
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Ash's dad is mentioned. Him.
I can verify this, I don't have a screenshot but another Anon might.
A follower asked what happened to her blue hair and she responded, 'it doesn't last forever' implying the color faded out and magically returned to the previous color.
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What is it about Erika that attracts people like this?
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here's the screenshot. more evidence to show how utterly insane this skeleton is.
idk, but that's weird shit. of course this person's (hopefully) joking, but said to the wrong person, could make them feel uncomfortable.
she brings out some maternal instinct in people probably. being attractive is possibly a large part of it as well. if she wasn't pretty or had a shit personality, would people feel the same way? i think not.
That onefixation guy has given me a bad vibe since I first started following Erika. He just seems entirely inappropriate and gross, and from what I've gathered it seems like he follows a bunch of vulnerable girls, particularly those with EDs. (he followed my IG after I started commenting on Erika's.)
I don't know how close you are with him, Erika, but please be careful.
His instagram is disappointingly dull and there's not much posted. Screenshots coming right up.>>90796
Nah, I don't think so. I'd be much less concerned if it were a woman making those comments, but hey, maybe I'm sexist, too. :P
Seems he struggles with some mental illnesses of his own, so maybe he just lacks the proper social skills not to come off as a creeper.
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This is probably the weirdest one. No context whatsoever. I hope she deleted her IG while in her recovery and didn't like… die or something. I assume that's what happened judging from his tags. Still kinda weird he posted this, but maybe that's just me.
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The only photo of him.
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Yeah, could be. He is trying to lose weight for sure, but as far as I can tell from his IG he is going about it in a healthy manner.
H-how is 99 pounds at 5'6 in a male healthy???
Oh man, that made me laugh. Ok, maybe he's in the beginning stages and is looking for trigger warning
thinspo trigger warning
Fuck I wrote this >>90750
but I didn't know it was a man. That makes a BIG difference. That takes creepy to a new ugly level.
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He says 'us' implying ED. Buuuut there is
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Found this, so it's very likely he's into ED girls.
No man or woman with an ounce of sensitivity would even think about making their … romantic … feelings for Erika known to her right now. So not the right time to go there. He needs to back off.
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this comes up when i googled the meaning.
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I had a think if he's doing anything her other supporters are doing that makes it creepier (and the other girls). It really is how he brings up being horny into a discussion about how to control eating, and being all fatal attraction towards them. That tells me he's a dick. >>90961
Maybe it's Neckbeard :shriek:
Looking at all these new screenshots… yuck. I stand by what I said earlier, please be careful, Erika.
Ah, I hope so.
GUUUYS. If any anon can see Ashley's IG can you take a peek and see if this creep comments on her shit too?
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Is this about us? :o
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One of her followers commented on her contouring a while ago. I thought this comment was cute because we'd mentioned that comment here recently and maybe she'd seen it.
I'll find that pic.
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oh, here it is…read on
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His keyboard is disgustingly filthy.
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I looked at her account earlier. Really liked her for her comment here.
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I've known plenty of men that are open and affectionate that way. Maybe that's why my go-to assumption is "Socially retarded until proven otherwise." And I've known women that are genuinely kind of dangerous toward the objects of their affection. I've had 2 female friends that ended up being stalkers. One ended up being arrested for it.
And frankly, saying something like that toward someone you follow on IG, that has talked to you maybe a couple of times, that you effectively have no relationship with, is weird as hell, period.
Either way, this guy clearly gives zero fucks about, or is oblivious to, boundaries. He's either getting off on vulnerable women, or he's got some wonky knight-in-shining-armor delusion.
It's really fitting that the caption cuts off exactly at the end of 'men don't like,' lel.
I didn't mean to derail, I just thought that was really funny.
that insta triggered
me. smh are there still people who post their cuts on social media? i thought that trend died in 2010
sorry, i realize this sounded a lot like the "men don't like…" comment above.. I just mean it makes me sad to see women who are really vibrant and lovely succumbing to such a terrible disease ;_; because it tears your life apart and makes it so every ounce of happiness you thought you had vanishes. breaks my little kokoro
i guess i'm preaching to the choir here though. sorrz ignore me
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Of course it was. There would be no challenge or ambition in life without a fair critique..that said, it's easy to distinguish ones jealousy or momentary infatuation with an image created. I'm human, I like watching adventure time with the kids, I still sing songs from The Lion King while I'm driving with them, windows down, I don't care. People either love me or hate me, I'm nuetral, except when people are kind to me I tend to get a bit shy and overly compassionate (mothering -.-). That said, I can be a badass bitch to the assholes who dare say something in public to piss me off or anyone else off. A lot of people seem worried I'm going to relapse or fall back, but, I have a nasty habit of being an extremist/perfectionist and when I set a goal I will use the same strength I have in the past to succeed. I was told Mai would be fed through a G-tube her whole life because she couldn't suck or swallow as a baby. I was a 20yr old mother with no car, no support, just the saving my ex and I had from working on the island and a place to live. I utilised every skill I could until she did it. It took three sleepless years, literally. Every two hours day/night, three years, no fucks, I did what I knew was right. My story with Mai is still often touched apon with the LLLI as an impossibly possible endeavour. I really believe I can keep this up as long as I put that same heart into it and come on…look at that kid. They told me she would certainly be failure to thrive. I was barely twenty and I accomplished something so freaking awe inspiring. She never required any supplementation and grew at a rate above average ?.
I am human, however, this is true. I walk into things and trip and do dumb shit all of the time too. The nurse and I made super condensed jello for the hell of it 7 packages of lime and strawberry to two cups of water..:it was like an unbreakable jellyfish that tasted like haribo gold bears. I also get excited over crayons at resteraunts. Simple/complex. When I write online I'm usually just brain dumping thoughts so I can look over them later, hence the terrible auto corrects and somewhat incoherent seeming run on sentences. In person, I'm just entertaining and ridiculous. Sorry for impedeing on this thread. You guys really did help me immensly with my body Dismorphia. I can't say thank you enough. Seriously. I ended up talking to Gia as well and she's actually an incredible sweetheart and nowhere near as intimidating as I expected.
You're not impeding this thread at all, I and I'm sure the rest of this board are always delighted to hear that you're doing well.
I think we've kind of found a champion in you that we're able to cheer on amongst all the snark and bitching that goes on throughout the rest of the site lol
Ah I can't wait to see you physically strong again, you're gonna walk through life smacking down hoes like a badass bitch.
Erika, I'm so happy you've visited us! You are literally welcome here anytime. We are so happy for you!>>91377
Me too… My hopes aren't very high though.>>91378
That's kind of weird, Anon.
I'm the same with crayons at Pizza Hut and the bowling place. This comment made me feel less of an outsider heh. >>91377
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I think so too, he's probably just using it to have common ground with those girls, to somehow get close to them. I doubt it's a fetish. He looks like a neckbeard from what i can tell (pic related). Cute cat though.
She sounds so happy, and so enjoying being able to be a mom for her kids. I just wanna melt.
GO TEAM ERIKA!
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Ashley won't seek help. She LOVES being as sick as she is. It's the only way to get the attention she so desperately craves, even when it will cost her life. How else will she manipulate hundreds of people to buy her gifts and favors? She is 100% corrupted by the disease. What little consciousness and humanity is left of her is trapped inside her head, screaming at herself for being a monster. But she's not going to stop. It's an insatiable craving for destruction; not only she is addicted to food, she is addicted to Schadenfreude. She's toxic, she's insane, and she's evil.
This is why she's a lolcow.
Every single one of the women he follows is mentally ill in some way. If I lived in Argentina, I would track him down and report him to the police. If he does this online, there are probably women in real life that he's preying on as well. I'd love to see his Facebook.>>91542
Maybe Ashley will realize that she can get more attention by recovering. She is not getting much attention these days.
The problem I have with obese people is the problem I have with Ashley. I feel sick when I see obese people stuffing pies, burgers, cakes in their mouths. It annoys me when they complain about illnesses or pains related to overeating.
It's not their appearance that disgusts me it's their attitude to their health and not caring they're destroying their bodies.
I understand that their eating problem is possibly an ED reverse anorexia but when they don't even try or refuse help to lose weight it disgusts me.
When weigh begins to affect health is when someone should try to lose it.
Overweight people don't disgust me. Its obesity that does.
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This is the kind of body shape I mean by voluptuous. Obvious example, but…
Nigella Lawson as well, even though her recipes are unhealthy as fuck.
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Nigella looks weird when she slims down, but here I'd call her voluptuous.
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Oh yeah, she's a trainwreck. I'm actually surprised she hasn't reached lolcow status yet. That eating video was something else.
Watching Trisha eat for 40 minutes is kinda gross, watching an emaciated Ashley eat 24 donuts would be FASCINATING. Do it, Ash!
Re: Creepy, stalkerish dude
“Cognitive empathy is the ability to know what other people are feeling, and emotional empathy is the kind where you feel what they’re feeling.” Autistic people can be very empathetic – they feel other people’s pain – but are less able to recognise the cues we read easily, the smiles and frowns that tell us what someone is thinking. Psychopaths are often the opposite: they know what you’re feeling, but don’t feel it themselves. “This all gives certain psychopaths a great advantage, because they can understand what you’re thinking, it’s just that they don’t care, so they can use you against yourself.” (Chillingly, psychopaths are particularly adept at detecting vulnerability. A 2008 study that asked participants to remember virtual characters found that those who scored highly for psychopathy had a near perfect recognition for sad, unsuccessful females, but impaired memory for other characters.)" http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/10737827/Psychopaths-how-can-you-spot-one.html
I always find it so weird how Ashley and her mother interact in this video: https://youtu.be/T4XHRlmakFI?t=10
"Mom, shut up!"
Sounds like they… get along?! I know things change but still…
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Since you guys are awesome and I didn't wasn't creeps on IG to see this, but, for the ones who haven't seen my weight gain yet, check it! I'm getting my boobs back first? My stomach isn't concaved anymore, it's always happy and full. But I can clearly see here that my body IS coming back! (Thread de-rail) but again you guys helped me do this total 180.
I've been refeed from a low weight before I'm telling you this so that you don't freak out when you have more substantial weight gain. You will gain weight in your face and torso at first but DO NOT worry! It will all redistribute over time. You just have
to be patient and trust in the process. Give your body time to heal. Furthermore, every pound you gain will not have a noticeable difference on your body. Your organs are weak and shrunken. Some of the weight needs to go to your organs to replenish them. It's like filling a plastic soda bottle. The bottle gets heavier over time, but the shape of the bottle doesn't change. Does that make sense?
Erika I am an ex-anorexic myself currently experiencing a relapse.
I haven't eaten for 3 days now and I feel so dizzy and sick, but after seeing this I might go out and get some lunch. Thank you x
I don't agree. I think Trish has changed a lot. I believe that she doesn't have any ill intent, most of the lolcow worthy things she's done in her personal life are related to her upbringing and uhh perhaps mental illness/insecurity? She goes to therapy, and I think she has meds to help her control her emotions.
She's trying to make something of herself, but she goes through bouts of really needing validation and being so insecure that she feels the need to push people away from her.
It's refreshing to see someone in recovery not obsessing over the look of food.
That guy - he needs chemical castration at the very least.
I mentioned here I hadn't seen weight gain, but noticed your colour had come back. I also said I was shit scared of commenting if I did
see weight gain in case it was triggering
I didn't see any gain, but in this photo it's noticeable that the texture and colour of your skin is looking healthier. The fact you're feeling better is just…priceless. When you start nourishing your brain, you'll find it helps with depression. Malnourishment affects every fibre of your body in a negative way.
I'll stfu now, you know this already. Just to say we're always here for you.
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Meanwhile, Ashley tries to make herself relevant again but welcoming anon questions to her tumblr inbox. Sry bae, you're as stale as those donuts you haven't yet eaten (apparently).
Must be butthurt knowing E doesn't mind our presence.>>92034
"I will decide on the most interesting inquiries"
LOL, like it's a competition and they have to win her favour. BORING.
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Moved to a smaller apartment. First world problems eh.
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She's so resourceful. >>92043
But…but…Erika's her mother figure!
Ash hated moving to a smaller apartment. Meanwhile in Nepal…
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She will only write to you and "love" you if you send her shit.>>92055
Haha, yeah. I was shocked to hear her old big booming voice appear when she was all excited over her freebie dvds. DONUTS FUCKIN DONUTS. NOW!!!!!
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She's an adult with a teenage mentality. Something's not right, but I'm not sure I'd call her retarded.
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I have no clue what her past has been, but she comes across as more of a wannarexic
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I wonder if onefixation follows her?
I don't think so. She's just quite masculine, I think. Idk for sure though.
This is her as a toddler. Kind of dressed as a female?https://instagram.com/p/wL2khCj2fr/?taken-by=imisslacey2009
She works out so her muscle tone could be down to that? A school friend of mine developed really broad shoulders because she was a swimming fanatic and it gave her a masculine body look.
Naw, Jackie's not a lolcow. She's harmless.
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I'm one such a person, but you know how hard it is for us sometimes.
After a while you grow addicted to the feelings of an empty stomach and any sensation of it being filled makes you feel physically nauseous.
I only had a mocha and a crepe today but I already feel like I've overeaten, and even then I only ate that after seeing Erika's post, I had planned to consume nothing. That being said I'm not underweight yet so I don't feel like I "really" have a problem. I'm not legitimate.
Would you consider speaking/have you spoken to your doctor about it? Maybe now's the time to look into dealing with the way you're feeling before it escalates?>>92198
UK anon. No Target. Pretty sure there'll be some on ebay, but that's a good price. Fuck, I'd love to visit NASA…then the gift shop.
Oh it's escalated before. I was very anorexic in my teens, then became obese, then merely overweight and now I'm caught in a tide of binging and starving periodically.
It's not that I'm not so young that I don't believe I may one day "grow out of it", I'm only in my 20's, but if you've experienced an ED you should know too that you never really fully recover, at least not mentally, it's always in the back of your mind.
It's probably something I'll have to deal with alone, but I've been to doctors before in the past and they can't help me. I appreciate your concern though.>>92210
Been down that road before friend, and returned, and gone back again, and so on and so forth but I'm gonna stop now because this isn't my thread nor my blog, but thank you anyway x
My weight's yo-yo'd and when I dieted I had a big buzz from losing weight that was addictive, even though I wasn't starving or barfing. I didn't see how gaunt my face looked in photos until someone gave me a wake up call. Even though I've never had an ED I can vaguely understand what you're saying.
We can be bitches here, but nobody deserves a living death like Ashley.
Ahah, yeah the whole looking back part is weird isn't it?
I was actually just looking at old photos close to where I was at my lowest weight and it's weird how I just did not see how thin I was then.
Like I remember when I took the photos, crying over them because of how fat I was convinced I looked, like really sobbing.
I'm looking at them now thinking "Oh shit was I ever actually that small?".
The only time you think you're thin is looking at old photos from a time when you thought you were fat. Sad.
Did Ashley ever post a video yet?
>surely she must understand how ugly she is
Nope. That's what body dysmorphia is, it makes you legit crazy and warps your reflection in real-time.
Picture related is my leg from when I was like…109lbs at 5'6"? I think.
Anyway, on the left is the actual photograph, but on the right is roughly about close to what I saw whenever I looked down at my legs.
This isn't an exaggeration.
Another one of what I saw vs. what I actually was like at around 115lbs (I think).
idk if this will shed some light for people who've never had to deal with this kind of thing. Sorry if I'm taking over, this is actually kind of therapeutic for me.
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Yup, hip dips are just grand :3
I wish I had them, they make for a great ass with the right amount of squats.
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The things people with EDs do…
Sorry you're right.
I guess I just wanted to shed some light on what body dysmorphia is like for people who've never experienced it. They're deleted now.
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I wonder who else he's doing this to?
She's done the same thing in videos that I'm pretty sure she's deleted. Like, she'd point the camera at her legs for ~5 seconds while talking and seemingly absentmindedly wrapping her fingers around her thighs. shudders
I know some people bodycheck compulsively but I don't know anyone who does it while knowingly having an audience. Being able to wrap your fingers around your thighs isn't an accomplishment.
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What did it say?
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Is it just me, or is this picture actually kind of cute?
It's a mystery.
J/k, it's a wig.
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Using a sockpuppet account to contact someone after getting blocked is creepy at best, but more likely stalkerish.
Casually mentioning a ~care package~ is obviously emotional manipulation.
This means he asks for addresses if he sends out "care packages". That's disturbing.
Shouldn't have mentioned care packages, he'll have Ash all over him like a rash.
if someone blocked me on something like ig or fb or any place else i'd think - oh well, they had their reason, move on, but NO he wants a written explanation. really??? wtf.
of course, i'd wonder what i might've done to be blocked and if i was being overbearing towards someone i hardly knew i'd realise i had some kind of problem with myself.
ew ick ick no. he makes my skin crawl.
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Possibly an anon farmer?
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Quick! Ashley needs attention!
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Lol, those are the only options I get? Farmer or autist? Couldn't it just be a concerned follower of Erika's that was able to see onefixation for the creep that he is, as we all did?
He needed to be told. Fucking pervert.
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Damage limitation/covering up lies Ashley style:
1. Show part of a letter to "a follower" showing how FUCKING GRATEFUL I am for their gift.
2. Make sure to show the part where she mentions having the cosplay jacket (which we've never seen because it hasn't arrived) is "hidden safely away" from Ma Isaacs.
3. Let lolcow know she doesn't have Netflix and this is why she wants dvds.
4. Emphasize all the shit you're going through.
Ashley, you're a clown.
Not bad considering she's left handed. Gel pens are best to write with IMO.
We weren't taught cursive script at school. It was all really plain joined up writing and you weren't allowed to experiment with your own style until secondary school at age 11.
I think it's pretty amusing that they both come here, honestly.
cool the fuck down, yeah? don't talk to people like that, if ashley's here this thread is bad enough already without being an asshole directly to her, too. it's a public site which ANYONE can use so get off whatever high horse you're on.
ashley, if you'd prefer to put 'a' in the reply field, you go ahead. you have really nice handwriting. i feel kind of uncomfortable saying this to you because i know you probably won't respond well if you respond at all but i really hope you get help sometime. i know you and e aren't on good terms but it's making such a positive difference in her life, she's so much happier than she was, and you could be too.
Come on. Grow up.
You know, the best "revenge" you could pull off would be to get healthy, get a job, and live a normal life. That would be more productive than snarky comments on an anonymous gossip site and malicious phone calls.
I looked up that 'methspider' person and it is so pathetic. I can't believe she is trying to get an ~eating disorder~ on myproana. That site is awful.
There is nothing good about having an eating disorder. I have non-vomiting bulimia, and every second of my day is occupied with thoughts about losing weight and food.
Having an eating disorder does not make you cool or edgy, it just makes your life hell.
These types of comments only feed her victim complex.
And I think it's kind of sad that she's so desperate for attention that she returns to the thread to stir up drama whenever we say nice things about Erika.
lol what? all bulimia consists of is episodes of binge eating and then compensatory behaviors that follow…
I have no idea why vomiting has become so closely linked with bulimia…
is 5'5 and 120 fat? That's where I'm at now, but I'm male….
I want to get down to 115 though
sorry for being OT, but i think i have a similar thing and am meeting with a shrink later in the month
I'm not upset with Ashley…l forgive everyone, but the reality is, I chose to meet her, not because I feel bad, she really intrigued me. She was a different broken I felt empathy for and yet, let go and laugh with her.!what made me go was the hurt. I knew in my heart my compulsions and eating disorder had to stop. Now. I had been pulling the emergency brake for nearly a year, but I wasn't strong enough. I chose to shower her with extravagant gifts, not because I felt bad, it was healing for me in a way to regift/exchange the things my husband's perverted step father had given me…I still shudder. I was so sick, so sick, even when dying I cried for it to stop. Ashley was my friend. I don't believe she used me, I know and knew going into this friendship that she was ill too, and that was my mistake, yet the drive to care for Ashley (I was a parentally abused child), the way I love, I love with passion, be it a stranger who is crying, to the way I give my daughters my all. I just wanted to be the one who didn't walk away. I wanted to recover and show her it was ok, but I couldn't. I felt so sad in Boca. I was a nobody and actually made a friend. I found myself worrying about her in the way a
Mother should. I made mistakes, but I just wanted to give her the happiness of her corroded childhood every child should know. Her mom did seem really irritated/unhappy about us being friends..I'll never know why. We never talked about that stuff in person. I had to let go to protect myself. I finally felt ashamed that I was so ill. I never saw it, but I was. I like hot baths with the shower on cool, too hot and too cold, both extremes seem to meet in a magnificent sigh. By the sickness in my head, logically I knew I was sick, the pestilence had me convinced to lock the doors, I could only see through my tiny peephole. Obscured by fear, I ignored my imminent illness to prevent the others from panicking.
I wrote in my touch, so, yes, this is me. Ashley taught me a thing or two I hold deeply. Fear is the only binding issue. I had to walk away, it hurt, but I had to. I wanted to live, I had a reason to. I had many.mi had only just begun to see that I had any value. it killed me to see her so frail. I always saw the old Ashley, I projected myself as a little girl onto her, I felt like I wasn't alone. I hope she can see me recover and not laugh. I want her to know that it is possible, even without children, I really needed to try my hardest and let go, two extremes, a magnificent light. I am that little girl, sad and alone. I need to help myself. I have love, so much love, I refused to not care. ? I have forgiven this period of my life and walked away only holding myself in a way, like a triumphant exit from smoke strewn firey building. Just barely there, that last few steps before I collapsed made my madness into strength. I wish for her the same.
My Pro Ana isn't actually a bad site, it just has an old, dumb name from a different era.
Nobody on that site is actually pro-eating disorder, although admittedly there will undoubtedly be a couple of crazies already been warped through starvation.
I'm a member, have been for years and it's absolutely wonderful in terms of support and recovery, especially when you have nobody to talk to about your problems in real life.
I understand this in my own way. My own mental illnesses led to me volunteering for the local branch of a national mental health charity. When I'd recovered from the most debilitating aspect of one of these illnesses, I wanted to tell people there IS light at the end of the tunnel and you CAN conquer your fears.
Unfortunately, I found being surrounded by people who had a similar mindset to the one I'd had at my sickest too difficult to deal with. It brought back too many memories of the old feelings and even YES triggered
some of my old habits.
I left for self preservation reasons. Even though it would've been an amazing experience to have witnessed their recovery down the line, I just couldn't for my own sake.
Sometimes you have to think of yourself over others and that's not selfish.
/end of ~personal blog~ but although our experiences are different, I understand and I really do think you needed to break away.
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Thanks for posting.
For someone poor, she shops a lot.
Oh and look, she's "dyed her hair" again.
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What do you think she's thinking?
That's a fact, innit.
She's not got long left. She looks worse every week.>>92845
You can see that woman looking at her in the store. Of course she's attention seeking with a blue wig.
Lol this just popped up >>92847
while typing. They'll be shocked tbh. Or wonder if there's filming for something going on and she's a prop.
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Everyone following her are waiting for her death. Not even in a nasty way, but they must be expecting her to croak it really soon.
You'd think it would. Even looking at her makes me want to eat.>>92853
Yes. That's because she's
we're not even talking about her outward appearance as being the disgusting thing about her. the fact is she looks like she's close to death and she'd upset people who saw her in real life.
i have the right to judge, fuck off with your juvenile philosophy and haul that ass back to tumblr. bye bye.
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Answer: The kind of idiot who sees a therapy session as a step towards recovery and is grateful therapy is available to them.
Yeah really, what the shit?
I'm doing physical therapy nearly every day a week for a variety of reasons, and I'm always excited to go, because I'm extremely interested in working to get back to being in the best health I can be.
Like. The point of any kind of therapy is to be actively engaged in the process so that you're really putting yourself into what you're doing to your full extent.
The fact that Ashley doesn't realise that makes me seriously doubt that she's actually excited lol.
Unless she just likes the attention the therapist gives her.
That is, if she was even seeing a therapist.
Which she isn't.
I don't get what she's saying here. Does she mean only idiots and not her get excited for therapy, or she's excited for therapy?
Either way, therapy's good. You should get some, Ash. In reality, not make believe.
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it's a conscious decision to put herself online like that.
if she can't handle people's judgements and opinions she should stay the fuck off the internet. and i agree with the anons here that the content she puts out (her pics/what she says/etc.) IS disgusting.
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You're right about the codependency.
Earlier, when Erika said she got the impression Ashley's mum didn't like her being with Ash, I was wondering if she was jealous that Ashley had a friend other than her? I wonder what she's like with anyone else that visits Ash?
I don't think her mum's a bad person, but both have issues (one more than the other), and I doubt she's a "monster". Would they both be friends on facebook if Ash truly hated her? Would she bother to comment on her mum's pics?
Of course Ash is so self-centred she can't see the ~struggles~ Ma Isaacs has experienced/is experiencing. Definitely need seperation. Secretly Ashley must really fear that.
>Earlier, when Erika said she got the impression Ashley's mum didn't like her being with Ash, I was wondering if she was jealous that Ashley had a friend other than her?
I seriously doubt that.
Her mother was probably upset that when Ashley finally has a friend, it was someone who was extremely, dangerously underweight.
Her mother didn't know that Erika was sincerely interested in recovery, she probably just saw a very sick girl, years older than her daughter but still looking on the brink of death, perhaps trying to prey on her or further her illness.
I mean, fucking hell. If you have a daughter with very unhealthy mental patterns with a reputation for surrounding herself with others with the same issues to validate her own issues, why would you enable that kind of relationship?
Think back to that segment on Dr Phil that was posted a while ago with the mother, completely beaten down, just surrendering to her daughter's psychotic urges in a last ditch effort to protect her own physical and mental wellbeing.
To me, this is extremely obvious. Ashley's mother is nothing but a figure of pity to me.
That did cross my mind, but then I thought I'd be beaten down with the ASHLEY'S MOM HAS AN ED TOO - THEY COMPETE!!! argument.
That's Ashley's brainwashing for you, I was too hesitant to state the obvious.
Same with her mum driving her to get 24 donuts. In a way that's enabling, but we know what a whiny bitch Ashley is and for some peace I probably would've given in to her pestering as well.
It's difficult to speculate when we only hear one side of the story (Ashley's), but when Ash eventually dies (brutal honesty there - she won't last long), I hope that after the grief her mum finds some peace in her life.
>the ASHLEY'S MOM HAS AN ED TOO - THEY COMPETE!!! argument.
That shit gets me. I don't think people here realise the extent to which stress effects the body. It can cause extreme weight loss, aging, heart issues, even infertility. I've seen it happen with my own mother.
I'm ashamed to admit that I've been a bullying child myself, although not nearly to the extent of Ashley, and I was absolutely horrified when I finally realised what I'd been doing. But shit, I'm 19. Ashley's in her mid-twenties. I don't think she even has the cognitive capability to recognise her faults any more, especially when she seems to be deliberately hurting her mother.
Ashley, all you have to do is make a video or post on tumblr the real reason. I mean, if it means that much to you that the truth gets out there, then why not just SAY it? I mean, how bad can the truth be? You're always like "oooh you DON'T KNOW THE TRUTH". Okay, so what is the truth? Why is it such a secret?
Oh, is it because the truth is that the anons are dead-on correct that you puked up the donuts and wasted more of your mom's money?
I mean seriously, they are fucking donuts. How big of a secret could the real reason possibly be?
Wait though. You forgot these ^_^
Nobody really gives a fuck about the videos. Lies, lies and more lies. Zzzzzz/
What the actual shit
I agree that there is no way Ashley's mother can be that much of a monster if they're friends on facebook and comment on each other's stuff.
My own mother is horrible, and you know what? I haven't spoken to her in eight years. Even if I had, I would not have her on my Facebook, and I certainly wouldn't comment on her posts.
This made me cry. I had no idea I looked sick. I thought my face looked healthy enough that people would just think I was small. This type of brutal honesty needs to be spoken. Powdering things up does nothing but hinder progress. "Your room isn't messy!" …ten years later, married, "I should have told him the messes bothered me." This is totally different than "shaming"- shaming would be "man, that girls got frizzy hair, I should go tell her and laugh!" Or, a girl with frizzy hair is fumbling around looking at hair products and you say," My mom has really tight curls, she loves ____, but I think she's really lucky, tight curls are gorgeous! Both hypotheticals on perception and attitudes. I can usually tell another introvert, I usually just give a quick smile to acknowledge empathy while awkwardly looking at something and then walking quickly away out of embarrassment.
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You remind me so much of myself! Some more honesty: I was just looking at your most recent photos vs ones you posted about a month ago, and it's seriously amazing how your face is filling in, and you really do have a healthier "glow" about you. You are seriously amazing, keep it up. <3>>92966
Oh lord. Is this a new tumblr account?
The lolcow thread is the best thing to ever happen to her.>>92979
This is exactly the response she wants. It means she gets more attention.
And as if "videos" will "tell the truth." Ashley, suck a fucking tailpipe. You've spun so many versions of "the truth" over the years that YOU don't even know what it is anymore. You literally don't even know what set of your own lies to believe.
Typical Ashley Isaacs bullshit cycle (from personal experience):
- saccharine sweetness/manipulation to get attention/presents
- turn into total cunt once it's discovered she's yet again just using people
- when called out, play victim and give "her side" or "the truth"
As for why she hides presents that aren't giftcards? Little missy was getting 30-40something year old neckbeards to mail her shit when she was underage and flashing her twat on stickam. Sometimes she lucks out and UPS doesn't come until after Rebecca leaves for work, but when she's not so lucky, well.
Since she can't get attention for being a hobag anymore, it's all about the poor frail starving trashley.
No. Not like it would matter what I am considering people like her are opportunists who don't even make distinctions between victims.>>92997
There were a few things, really, but the main ones? Without getting into blatant specifics since she'll figure out who I am, and either yet again deny our existence in each other's lives or partially/fully dox me:
- For someone who claims to be supportive of others' recovery, she's seriously anything but. Make no mistake that Trashley is very very VERY pro-ana and has been the 2-3 years I've known her.
She'll follow/comment on recovery blogs and Instas basically to encourage them to 'get fat.' Everything is a fucking competition to Trashley. If these (mostly) girls get "fat," then in her eyes she's "winning." More than once she referred to people who chose to recover from their eating disorders as "sellouts."
- When I chose to give my 100% to recovery she instantly went from saccharine sweet to passive-aggressive bitch who would make the worst comments and basically try to undermine my recovery and my decision to get fucking healthy. I don't know if this is entirely her bullshit "competition" mentality or if she's just really bitter she has zero resolve to put herself into new/vulnerable/HEALTHY territory, or…what.
- I'm too broke to shower her with presents all the fucking time. In fact, I never sent her a damn thing (thank god). I live on a ridiculously fixed income and barely have money for a cup of coffee at Starbucks once a month, let alone buy a 24 year old woman dvd's and plastic toys.
- The "black Twitter" post that I've seen here isn't the only time she's been racist. She was markedly more rude to me when I disclosed that I'm not white (I'm white-passing). A few conversations involved her bitching about illegal immigrants being "welfare queens."
I can't say I went through the exact same situation with Ashley as Erika did, but there are more than a few similarities. We were both sick and just looking for someone to commiserate with, and instead ended up with someone who was more parasitic than symbiotic. I used to be a lot more angry about the whole situation than I am (and I admit I still am a little), but well…sigh
I don't know. Without getting "personal journal" I'm just focusing on my mental/physical health before everyone else's, or trying to.
ashley slinging shit at "welfare queens"
TOPPEST FUCKING KEK
I know she used to at least do gift returns on the Amazon ones if the gift/return receipt was in there, or just Goodwill them, but I'm not sure now.>>93000
Yeah, that was just… well.>>93001
Oh abso-fucking-lutely. I'm ambivalent about anything to do with her in general cos it's like, on one hand I REALLY hate her using even more people for her ill-gotten gains, but then it's like…this is just the kind of shit that she uses to play victim and suck them in.
The names Isaacs and Rebecca make me think she's Jewish, but I can see some Latina in her dad from that photo. Dark hair, dark eyes.>>93005
This is true. Hard work at shitty jobs for low pay.
I never thought about that. There must be "fat pride" forums. Maybe google and see if they comment on EDs.
believe that a large amount of people who are unhealthily large use the pride thing as a mask and in reality would prefer not to be. My only source for this info is overweight women who've confided in me that it's a pretense they prefer to be large.
On tumblr, yes. They get absolutely pissy over people with ED's. I never see any advocating for trying to help people with ED's get better.
They also tend to think there's a skinny "privilege" and that skinny shaming doesn't exist. Which, for a slender person, it doesn't but when you have legit anorexia/underweight issues and people can see your ribs and shit, you will get a lot of rude remarks and shit. But of course fatties can only focus on themselves.
When I was just starting recovery and was still very thin I had some lady sneer at me "how can you even leave the HOUSE looking like…THAT?"
I was like "because my cats need food and litter, ya sloppy twat."
Do you get people saying outright, "Ooh, you're skinny?" because that's so rude. I bet they don't say to an overweight person, "Ooh, you're fat". Buying clothes in my size is a nightmare. I'm slim and short, so "normal" clothes are all wrong - long arms, length too long etc. I used to look in the childrens department for skirts but they always had stupid sequin butterflies or some shit like that sewn on the ass.
There're stores that cater for plus size, but nothing for the more petite.
Wait though, I'll add that if there IS a petite department in a store the item is a higher price
. Less material, but costs more WHUT?
I did. I still find myself buying/wearing clothes a few sizes too big even though I'm weight restored.
Also fuck buying clothes, I've got the opposite problem in that even most "talls" are still too short in the arms/legs/torso.
I think it's honestly a bit of both. I'll admit at first when I heard negative shit about her I didn't want to hear/believe it but well, then I saw it for myself and heard a few things out of that dried up thing she calls a mouth, and….
I'm not sure what TheForestCat hopes to gain with her asskissery and white knighting. Ashley has zero interest in giving anything of herself, emotionally/physically/financially/etc, so.
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My friend's 6ft 1in and has that problem. When she buys a jacket she has to make an extension part for the sleeves because otherwise they stop halfway down her forearm.
Sucks not to a shop mannequin. (Not really).
Other people are commenting on Ash's rapid decline.
Not that person, but yeah, people actually do that kind of shit.
People stare at me when I go places, and I overhear comments like 'she's so tiny!' and 'how is she so small!'
I mean, fucking shit, it makes it really difficult to go and get that bit of food I was just about to order when my disordered mental patterns constantly get their twisted reward.
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Her mom is definitely fucked up, but nowhere near the "evil monster" Ashley has romantically painted her to be. Remember, Ashley either idolizes someone, hates them with a passion, or hasn't met them yet. There's no in between.
Ash has a very love hate relationship with her mom, depending on when her mom tells her "no," if that makes any sense. I think it'd be hard NOT to have some sort of food hangups having to deal with Ashley, but as for a full blown eating disorder….I'm inclined to say no?
Rebecca's flat out tired, when it all comes down to it. Adult Protective services really won't do shit - it's harder than FUCK to get a legal adult involuntarily committed or have them declared a "vulnerable adult." And if Ashley is not actively trying to kill herself or someone else, a 5150/Baker Act hold is another nope.
After the Hamtarochan fiasco, there's only so much that state insurance/medicaid and private insurance will cover for mental healthcare. Ash's dad also wasn't a big fan of paying child support on time/in full and is a fucking mess himself so it's pretty much been Rebecca. Hence the move into the teeny apartment.
As for the Target and Cheesecake Factory and other outings, Rebecca is just so fucking desperate to have SOME sort of normalcy in her life and relationship with Ash, but she knows it'll never happen.
Rebecca is more or less just waiting for Ashley to die.
If anyone's being abused in that apartment, it's Rebecca. There's the emotional manipulation, and I can definitely tell you she says some SUPER fucking disgusting shit to her mom. She's thrown things at her too (or well, tried to, I mean Ash is currently hovering between 40-45 pounds so it's kinda…."eh" and a half flail of the arm).
In before she comes in here caterwauling, denying everything/calling us all haters and liars and screeching about "the truth" yet again…
Yeah, Twatwaffle. This isn't THE TRUTH. You haven't posted videos saying it so therefore it isn't the truth. Just you wait for the truth!!!!11
Even those videos where she's screeching around in her apartment circa 2007 piss me off. She was way too annoying and boisterous. Now it'll be just annoying and screeching.
There's no way on earth I could've dealt with Ashley. No way. Rebecca's a stronger person than I am. Sounds cunty, but I would've had to have her removed from the apartment some way.
I don't think that sounds cunty or malicious. Ashley knows full well the mental/physical fatigue she puts Rebecca through and fucking gets off on it. She considers it "revenge" for Rebecca cutting off her whole "show my tits and bits on Stickam for presents," as was her suicide attempt after she was caught (which was a whole 'notha episode, hooboy.)
The Amazon wishlist is another "fuck you, Mom" endeavour as well, goes without saying. Anytime she begs for shit, I guaran-fucking-tee you that Rebecca told her "no" about something, whether it's another Target trip, a ride to Whole Foods, "will you leave me pizza money while you're at work," etc.
We all know Ashley has no interest in recovering from her eating disorder or her personality disorder. ZERO. Zilch.
We all know she abuses and manipulates anyone in her periphery, if not currently, then eventually. Everyone is faceless to Ashley. There are no lovers or friends, just sources of narcissistic supply. Presents. Food.
She's been given second, third, fourth, fifth, fucking fiftieth chances. Every time "THE TROOOOOOOOOOOTH!!!!111one"
The only truth is there is no good in Ashley. No empathy for care about anyone but herself. She's added nothing of value to the world other than a cautionary tale.
lol ok ashley. shouldn't you be busy posting triggering
comments on the instagrams of vulnerable girls in recovery or something?
Yeah like… I honestly don't hate Ashley (or anyone for that matter, no matter how horrid they were to me). But after the shit she put me and so many other so-called friends through, I just don't care about her or see any point in investing emotion towards her. Just disappointment and sadness that you mentioned.
And I hate beating a dead horse/bringing her back in but this shit is why I am so fucking goddamn proud of Erika. I know firsthand how humbling it is to swallow your pride and put yourself into new and vulnerable territory, ask for help, and try your damnedest to recover. It's scary as fuck but it's absolutely been worth it.
Ashley is fucking furious and bitter as hell that she will NEVER know that joy. It's even sadder when you think that it COULD be hers if she pulled her head out of the rusted erector set that is her non-ass.
But the anorexia is all Ashley has. She's not particularly intelligent or bright, her personality is shit despite her charismatic manipulation, her looks are definitely long gone, she has no actual life skills or anything that would warrant giving her even a menial, mediocre job…
I mean if I were here I'd delete the fucking wishlists, stop begging for presents, and just fucking apologize and log off the internet. Have one last post/video last hurrah being full on honest about what a physical and mental mess she is (keyword HONEST), and just go. I mean if anything, Ashley could at least prevent even one person from ending up the fucking trainwreck piece of shit she is.
but we know that won't happen.
That's why I think it's seriously a bad idea to try to contact her while Ashley is still alive, especially right now. Ashley is extremely pissed off that her gravy train of victims to buy her presents and food is drying up, and any time she doesn't get her way in any form, she takes it out on Rebecca. Rebecca's the only familiar person she has physical/in person contact with (there IS no therapist and hasn't been one in at least a year).
I really don't want to see Rebecca worn out more than she already is. The post-hamtarochan fallout nearly ruined her as is.
I reaaaaaaaaaaally am averse to doing so considering how fucking nutter Ashley is and how she takes it out on her mom especially.
I'll just leave it at there being a lot of very inappropriate sexual activity by Ashley and her handing out her contact info to much older men.>>93090
I don't know. She clearly knows her daughter is getting presents from 'friends' but beyond that? shrugs
But like seriously I do NOT know or think informing her is a good idea, or how to even go about addressing that with Rebecca without it being a huge fucking mess.
When Ashley told you all this, what was she like? As in, was she matter of fact and I don't care, or did she have any
No. I'll stay away for sure.
She spun it as a lot of "poor me" and essentially blamed it on her parents divorcing. Like she really alternates a lot between whether she hates her mom or her dad more.
I don't know what if any contact she has with her dad nowadays, she acts like he "walked out" but well considering how she idolizes and discards and repeats who really fucking knows other than her.
Suspected such. Thought there might've been a teeny tiny shred of guilt in her somewhere, but…
What an asshole.
I am 1000% convinced that Ashley is incapable of any sort of remorse or empathy. Hell, look at how she either idolizes or absolutely villainizes people based on whether or not they enable her. "You don't have anything to give me? WELL THEN FUCK YOU I HOPE YOU DIE YOU'RE A LIAR RARARARARAR"
I really fucking wish she'd quit with the constant scheming and attempts to distract people from her most recent bouts of bullshit. The fucking cycle is getting old and she needs to jump off of it.
Ashley's so desperate for validation and approval, fuck, she could call 911, request an ambulance to the nearest ER with an inpatient psych ward, and take it from there. But nah. The food's not as good and the gift shop selection is shit.
Yeah, that is splitting; a classic BPD behavior.
I'm surprised her mom hang just called the ambulance herself. She must feel pretty stuck. Or maybe she uses SSI money to help with rent.
Even then making a hold stick past 72 hours is a BITCH even with someone as sick as Ashley. >>93113
Doubt it since it's just harassment and again Erika would likely not want to get involved. I mean if Ashley called saying "I'm going to kill you" that'd be a very different story.
months? lol she's been pulling this shit for 24 years.
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO at this "so much effort" to try to bullshit her way out of yet another person spilling tea on her. WHY NOT PUT THAT EFFORT INTO GOING TO A FUCKING HOSPITAL AND GETTING SOME FUCKING MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT, YOU MUSTY-CROTCHED SCAM ARTIST.
really, ashley, you've been outed. everyone knows your cycle of bullshit and can see right through you. at this point your options are one of two:
- pick up your sticker-covered phone and call an ambulance on yourself
- do your mom, your victims, and the world a favor and end it the old fashioned way.
Either way the games are over, and you being a condescending little llady fauntlefaggot and trying to deny and deflect isn't going to work anymore.
Uh, wait, is this Ashley?http://guts-spilling-over.tumblr.com/
How did any of you even find this before she reblogged one of her own posts?
receipts or gtfo. her guts-spilling-over blog is where she was going to post her videos and "the truth" but it's just some weird talking to herself bullshit at this point.
she's no more "dark and morbid" than usual, so enough with the fake guilt trip bullshit because LOLCOW had a fucking Boston Tea Party reenactment with ashley's name on it.
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DING DING DING DING DING! HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD!
holy shit ashley, do you not see how EVERYONE KNOWS YOUR GAMES AND HOW TRANSPARENT YOU ARE? white-knighting yourself on a fucking message board and "oh no she's gonna an hero?"
no bitch. you want help, you have a fucking phone. if you can use it to play victim you can use it to save your own life.
do not call for her.
LOLOL RELATIONSHIP, THAT IS RICH AS FUCK.
She throws herself at every female (or male, or anyone that pays attention to her), it's part of that BPD splitting shit someone was talking about up above earlier. Idolize then villainize.
LEAVE ERIKA ALONE. SHE IS MARRIED WITH CHILDREN. bony little hooker is probably just mad E wouldn't run away with her and move into their own shitty apartment and puke happily ever after.
How is that considered a ~confession~?
Every teenager fantasizes about stuff like that, and since you display stunted growth due to your prolonged (read: boring) self-destruction, this really is no revelation.
There's no proof of where the 24 donuts went because I destroyed the evidence in mere minutes.
>>93297>transparent no more
seems more like she's trying to stay more anonymous now.
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oh god, so much second hand embarrassment.
I'm a longtime lurker of this thread so forgive me if I mess up this post (I've never posted before).
I actually heard back from a Dr. Phil producer about Ashley. Here's how it happened: I'm in ED-NOS recovery myself (bingeing, restricting, a little overexercising, but mostly my life has just a neverending binge/restrict rollercoaster). I contacted the producers about a friend of mine, a former roommate from treatment. She's been to inpatient/residential treatment 40+ times and has had multiple feeding tubes. Like Ashley, she has anorexia and also binges + purges. She is currently attempting to recover yet again, and is basically the opposite of Ashley–desperately ill, yet she keeps trying and trying to get better. The problem is nothing EVER seems to stick.
Anyway, I contacted the show about my friend, who we'll call J, a few months ago. I just wanted to see if there were any other options out there for her, since her recent hospital stays haven't seemed to be helping her much. We don't talk (she doesn't really talk to anyone anymore…), so the show was kind of my last resort. In my letter about J, I also included some photos of Ashley and screencaps from her social media profiles. I figured if they were going to try to help one dying girl, they might as well try to help another.
The producer got back to me right away. She told me she's received MULTIPLE write-ins about Ashley, and that she only found my letter about J because she was searching her inbox for messages with Ashley's name.
The kicker is that this producer has, in fact, reached out to Ashley. I'm not sure if it was via Facebook or what, but Ashley did not express any interest. I'm not certain if she outright rejected the offer, but yeah. Ashley was offered treatment/help by someone who has a LOT of resources to get her the best available therapies. Obviously Dr. Phil is tacky as hell but most people would jump on the opportunity for free treatment. Additionally, one would think she would be all over the attention it would give her. I mean, being broadcast on TVs across the country? It's interesting to me that she wouldn't jump at that opportunity.
I'm not sure who/what B is! >>93360
Thanks, I hope she finally recovers someday. It's such a sad situation. Like Ashley, she lives alone at home with her parents and has never had a job, never even had a real life of her own. My ED is definitely still a daily battle but I've at least experienced adult life on my own. And I've not had to be hospitalized dozens upon dozens of times. But it's just like with the Ashley situation…if someone ultimately doesn't WANT to recover, you can't force them to. Me, my ED took me in the opposite direction of underweight–I was so obese that I was prediabetic and couldn't walk anymore. That was the straw that broke the camel's back for me, and I knew I had to fix my relationship with food and exercise or I'd be fucking dead before 35. It's a long, hard, lonely road sometimes. Food is everywhere and for anyone who struggles with it, whether in the anorexic or binge eating spectrum, it's tantamount to torture sometimes. You can't think about anything else, and other people around you just don't get it. Why can't you eat normally? How can you spiral into binge eating all day one day and yet be obsessing over calories the next? Why aren't you good enough at starving, why can't you make yourself puke properly, why do certain foods make you go insane? I've lost 120lbs yet I still feel like I look enormous and monstrous. It takes me hours to get ready sometimes because I'm obsessing over the loose skin and general sagginess that yo-yo dieting and disordered eating has blessed me with. You always think things will just ~be perfect~ when you get to that goal weight…but they never are.
Fuck EDs. And fuck Ashley for glorifying them.
idk, im a social worker, an LMSW, and i've had schizophrenic and schizoaffective clients put in the hospital against their will. one of them countless times and she was in there for 3+ months during 1 admission.
i feel like society, and doctors, view anorexia and schiz to be very different when it comes to mental competency, but at a certain point, the anorexic is just as much a danger to themselves as the schizophrenic, if not more so. and at the end of the day, they're both axis 1 diagnoses, and ash has plenty problems on axes 2,3,4, and 5(her gaf score must be incredibly low) as well. so i just don't understand why she's not in the hospital whether she likes it or not. If she was on my caseload i promise she would be.
the ONLY explanation i can think of is mom IS receiving SSI $$ for ash, mom is also the rep payee, and either needs the $$ to pay bills, OR, figures ash can't be saved at this point anyway so why lose the monthly check?
Ehh I think the ONLY positive thing to say about Ashley is that she DOESN'T glorify EDs. Look at her, she's an intolerable mess, any issues she had before have been perpetuated by her ED and she looks like an AIDs patient who hadn't been treated and is going to die soon. This is not glorifying anything. This is a painfully real look at the actual effects of anorexia and I don't think any pro-ana girls could possibly look at Ashley and not realize that this isn't the life they want for themselves.
She's a monster, but she isn't glorifying anything. Her life is miserable. Everyone around her is miserable because of her. Her mum's waiting for her to die. There's nothing 'glorified' about any of it.
You don't have to look a certain way in order for you to glorify EDs.
She takes pictures of $75 binge food hauls and puts cute stamps and glitter on them.
She has publicly wished "fatness" on people that were mean to her, because becoming fat is the worst punishment she can think of, and by making that thought public, she promotes being thin as something to strive for instead.
She has also voiced gems such as "I will beat them all.", referring to her becoming the "best" anorectic, implying that there is achievement waiting.
She has commented anonymously on this very site that "well, Ash is still alive, so she must be doing SOMETHING right."
i don't think she'd agree to appearing on the show. it would be way too much exposure for her. and a kind that she can't control.
i mean they could do a thing like "deadly anorexic girl gets bullied online" OR they could go with "anorexic girl refuses to get treatment, tortures her mother and glorifies EDs online"
Unfortunately, you're wrong. In the United States, when your child, spouse, etc. dies, the responsibility to pay for any debt incurred falls on the parent or spouse.
You mention the ER covering it; that's only after they exhaust all other options. This means that they would still go after Rebecca first.
I've held off on killing myself so far because I can't bear the thought of inflicting my student loans and unpaid medical bills on my mother.
It's like in Japan how when someone kills themselves by jumping onto the train tracks, they fine the family for the cost it takes to clean it up.
What is there to do at this point? Getting nationwide attention is her only option, and she disdains it.
I still don't see most of that as glorifying though? To me, glorifying is pretending that you can be that thin and suffer no adverse effects. Felice Fawn glorifies imo, with like, photoshopping herself thinner and then photoshopping out any flaws. She pretends it's a fine way of life. When she does mention that things aren't PERFECT it's kind of in the "sad mysterious girl" type of Effy from skins bullshit rather than a realistic "I am actually mentally ill and a danger to myself and those around me, I'm sabotaging my own life at every turn. This will have lasting effects and repercussions on my health and life in general for a long time."
Ashley, on the other hand, is clearly miserable. At this point we (Ash included) all know that she has utterly destroyed her life. There's nothing happy about her position. What she's doing is really fucked up, there's no doubting it, but to me the pictures of the $75 binge haul is more like… "look at what people are buying for me" or "look at the money we all know I'm wasting"
Wishing fatness on people is typical ED sufferer behavior though. Like, when someone's spiteful, they wish what they think is the Worst Possible Thing on whoever they're pissed off with and to someone with an ED, that thing is very often being fat. So I can see why it's a glorification but it's definitely a symptom of the underlying issue too. I can't really imagine an anorexic who DOESN'T see fatness as the worst thing they could wish on someone. Making that thought public is just another expression of her messed up thoughts and how hateful she is as a person. She's not a nice person and she has a platform to express when she wishes ill on people. To her, her idea of fatness IS wishing ill on them.
"I will beat them all" is, imo, the most terrifying thing she says. It sounds like a race to the death. I don't know how that's glorifying either because it just sounds like another example of how sick and twisted she is. How fucked up her thought process is that this slow death is just a competition.
I didn't know she commented saying that, though. Yeah, that's definitely glorifying it. How could she think she's doing ANYTHING right?
I guess the way I see it is that people who glorify have admirers, they have fans. Ashley has an audience full of people who pity her and await the end of this odd and twisted story that's unfolding before them. People who glorify to their audiences have people who envy them. Ashley lives in a one bedroom (?) apt with her mother, has never had a life of her own, and has a wheelchair. She isn't functional remotely. Maybe she tries to glorify but there's absolutely no covering up the truth.
No more obsessed than you Ashley, for refreshing this page as soon as you uploaded it.
And holy shit, so assuming that the therapist had to be imaginary was giving this therapist the benefit of the doubt. This needs to be sent to APS. What the fuck kind of incompetent therapist wastes time during a session to help a severely mentally and physically ill person film some stupid social media video? He should have committed her ages ago. Assuming the hand belongs to an actual therapist he needs to be reported for malpractice asap. This video is evidence. APS could investigate him for abuse/neglect and may already have his info if she used him as proof she's getting "help."
Fat privilege is not being recommended by the salespeople to try looking in the childrens' department for clothes. I dunno. This is really frustrating.
Technically, there are petite shops and petite departments, and yes, they cost more, and also are generally kinda grandma-styled. But plus size stores are everywhere and offer more contemporary fashions.
I used to get bullied a lot (when I was a grown ass adult, by other grown ass adults) for being too thin as well. Like I've got control over my size. And also they'll say "anorexia" as if it's the anorexic person's fault and something they can just fix overnight, when it really isn't.
So yeah I have trouble understanding the whole "thin privilege" thing tbh.
No she doesn't. She looks like a yellow skeleton. A human that's about to die. >>93419
If that's a therapist, he's as dodgy as the scratch artist who gave her tattoos. So long as he gets some $ out of it, he doesn't give a fuck what she does during the time.
Alright, i'm calling it. That's not actual therapist / doctor.
Why would she be so overly eager to prove that he's a therapist, especially with the pause before redundantly adding "doctor". And then emphasising his existence when he waves ("LOOK! There he was!"). And still all we know now is, that there's some guy behind the cam.
Her microgestures give her away also (when talking about this being therapy).
Besides, the room looks like a storeroom, someone could open the door and hit her.
And there's the obvious sign: which fucking therapist would film that?
Maybe got arrested for shoplifting at Target and that's the holding room.
Representing what from Death Note? What IS this shit?
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That video is tagged #eating disorders.
So these are going to be videos about that? Will she talk about her other disorders which give her a disgusting personality?
As far as I know they have exhausted a considerable amount of $ on treatment already. I doubt they would be able to afford very much out of pocket at this point.
I've been on Medicaid and ED treatment is basically nonexistent. Very, very few mental health providers accept it. It definitely does suck.
Regarding Ashley, there is no way in hell that's a real therapist or therapist's office. I can't screencap but whoever it is, their fingers looked really…wrinkly? Weird. Almost like they just got out of a long bath. Or it's someone with an ED themselves? That was just a weird-looking fucking hand, is all I'm saying.
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This is the "doctor's" appearance.
Yeah, this is someone who developed seriously unhealthy attachments to the staff at her treatment centers. Some girls do this, especially when they've been at it from such a young age (she went into inpatient ED treatment for two years
in High School, which means she missed 2yrs of school and spent those formative years among other girls with EDs/mental illnesses). Honestly for-profit mental health treatment can be really, really fucked up. They will keep you as long as they can so long as your insurance will pay for it, but they'll also kick you out at the drop of a hat if your coverage is dropped. I fully believe that someone who has been to treatment 40+ times needs to find another way to recover. That's just not healthy.
And then you have Ashley, who won't even go at all.
She said she thought her dad didn't know she smoked weed. I don't know why she'd hide it or how he wouldn't know if she had a legit MMJ card, since she's their dependent and all. I don't know.
I'm sure her parents will just pay for private insurance for her when she turns 26.>>93467
Yeah I definitely get the feeling she derives some gratification from the safety/care/attention/whatever of being in intensive treatment and of being sick, of having a tube, of showing everyone how she looks like death, etc. She's a "professional anorexic." I've met a fair number of them in my time. They're eerily similar.
Sorry for the sidetrack. Back to your regularly scheduled spoopy skeleton discussion.
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To put things in perspective, Erika's had to fight to gain as much as she can because her weight is still too low for residential
treatment much less outpatient. Even a dedicated eating disorder facility considers someone at that low a weight to be a liability and dangerous to treat before medical stabilization.
Meanwhile Ashley is sitting in a closet with some shady quack who agreed to film her for tumblr? That's unprofessional at best and criminally negligent at worst. According to Florida statutes her therapist could definitely petition to have her hospitalized. Even if she's terminal she has immediate health problems that hospitalization could alleviate.
Yeah. I doubt they'd label her terminal. That's when there's no hope of recovery because a person's body is INFESTED with cancer or w/e and there's no other way but death.
The only thing making Ashley unable to get well(er) is her ~pro Ana lifestyle~
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No fair. I live in Canada and I get free healthcare, but no free phone. This is BS.
yea like NASW = national association of social work.
i know if its a social worker seeing ash, NASW would love to see it. he'd lose his license if its not palliative care.
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I have an "Obama" phone. It's just a free cellphone service, cause I'm a poor shit. They're terrible cellphones but they can call numbers and that's all cellphones need to be able to do.
Pic is kinda like the ad I saw and applied for lol
shut the fuck up about these people or name them.
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How is making a phonecam video a step? A step to what?
> I will continue to fight each day
Fight. How is she fighting?
I'm sure the manipulative cow could make it seem like she's doing it ~as part of therapy~
Seriously. Using a therapy session to make a tumblr post. That's just…>>93640
It's time wasting therapy. She probably spend the rest of the session explaining Death Note to him and cosplay and her stickers on her phone case.>>93639
Erika's going to have a decent life after recovery. Ashley's still going to be rotting away. Yep, Ash. You beat her good.
Let's not even say that in a joking way. Might trigger
someone or plant a seed
Whichever of Ashley's friends you are, could you kindly go get fucked? I've defended her in this thread to the point of being called a white knight before and I'm fucking finished with it now. If she doesn't want to recover, fine, that's on her and all of you enablers, but don't you DARE say anything like this that might trigger
someone who is actually trying to live life and not waste it. You are disgusting.
Considering Erika's admitted that phone call still bothers her, it is a trigger
Okay except we know there's someone with anorexia who is trying desperately to recover, so for once, 'trigger
' is a genuine thing and not something to be laughed at.
Eh, I think we should give the Anon's some slack. It was obviously said sarcastically. Although not tasteful, I think Erika would understand the reference. She used to be a /b/tard. She gets it.>>93654
If you're that fucking easily triggered
, go back to Tumblr. I personally don't believe in triggers
except in rare circumstances.
We've moved on. And ironically, the person who posted the gifs/macros was obviously triggered
by people telling her they were triggered
Damn. I'd non-literally kill to get on that show. I clam up everytime I think about reaching out any more than I have. I'm sick-scared I'm going to be rejected tomorrow as a special exception. That would mean I'd have to wait until I gained enough weight on my own to get treatment, pretty crazy sounding when you type it out. I live in Daytona and there are no centres here in Florida that will actually take me without heavily considering me as an exception. I learned that the hard way, unfortunately through many rejections (Fairwinds, recovery village, turning point, renfrew). I'd have to keep appealing and being rejected just to get into a plac I already feel worthless. Denver has been so kind to me, my insurance went ahead with an exception in their part for the ERC, but denied the acute center, in place I could go to my local hospital, which does not treat eating disorders, I would have to go to the ER for issues (125 co pay each time). Or if this exception on the ERC's side goes through, I have a 3000 deductible and plane tickets/car rental for the 40min drive- which is realistic and feasible with our credit. No one here -"family"ever cared enough to try to help me in any way. I had to fight till near death, I remember fainting at the mandatory staircase to get to the main level at that stupid condo in Boca. I was deathly ill and alone with two beautiful children. That rage is what fuels me now. I have to do this alone physically. The only support I have is my Instagram which is mostly followed by very ill girls ._. I hope that by following me I can be a good example of committing AN suicide (that's how I describe it, the hate and fear, from death to life). Sorry I write so much, I got weighed today and I broke into tears when my nurse, the one I have seen for years wiped her face. I'm up from64-nearly 80lbs now. I'm really emotional and sappy . oh God good thoughts for tomorrow .
I think your account has a positive effect on the sick girls. Many of them probably started following you as "thinspo," which isn't your fault. I think it's also opening a lot of their eyes. Just the way your writing has changed shows how your mind is working better now that your brain is getting nourishment (I'm not saying that you were a dummy before!). I think you're inspiring a lot of people. I'm eating disordered myself, though it's not so bad these days, and reading how you talk about food and vitality makes me feel foolish (in a healthy way) for my own vilification of food.
That being said, I agree that you shouldn't worry about being a role model or a good example. You've done so much good already; there's nothing wrong with just looking out for yourself and your kids right now, though.
I think you mentioned Rogers at one point, maybe that your insurance covers it, but that it's not a good choice because it's up in the Midwest, so far away from your family, which makes sense. Just keep it in mind, in your back pocket, that their program is quite good.
An anon said that Ash doesn't romanticize EDs like the girls who want to be Cassie from Skins or whatever and be skinny AF but never talk about any detrimental health effects. I guess that's true in that Ash mentions comas and ambulances and wounds not healing and a strong wind blowing her away, not to mention her physical appearance itself.
But… at the same time, she doesn't want people to know that her hair and teeth are fake, and she avoids photos with the wheelchair. One time she mentioned that she's an exercise addict and how she was off to the gym to compete with her mother… is exercise possible when you can barely stand? I think that she is trying to glorify it so much, or just show how invincible she [thinks] she is.
Yes. The only girls you should worry about are your daughters. Don't feel like you have to share everything with some strangers on instagram or make decisions for yourself with them in mind. I know you like to mother, but it is time for you to heal and take control of your
life. Not the lives of the people who follow you.
Had a similar experience before an exam at uni. Been out at a nightclub, didn't get back home til 6am, ripped to the tits on E, hallucinating during the exam.
Ahhhhh. Long, long time ago, of course. Drugs are bad, hmkay. Three hours of reading Ashley threads seem to have the same effect.
Good luck with the tes