File: 1732668983992.png (1.42 MB, 1170x1249, show results….png)
No. 2278154
And relax
previous:
>>2266222 No. 2278205
I HATE MEN. I HATE MEN. I HATE MEN.
I swiped right on a guy and we talked for DAYS until I eventually asked him if we could facetime. He said he couldn't, and so I asked him again another day and he made another excuse.
Eventually I was like I feel like you're avoiding facetiming me? There's no way you're this busy, especially when you've been messaging me all day.
He proceeds to tell me he's not comfortable because he's gained a lot of weight since he took the photos he posted on the app.
I was like there's no way you look that different and that I think he's just being hard on himself, and he's like no I've gained a lot of weight.
I told him , "This is awkward because I need to know how you look. If it was the other way around you'd be mad"
He goes ,"I thought looks don't matter" and this is when I get bitchy cause I can't deal with stupid. I go ,"I NEVER said that. You know they do, let's be real. I think it's deceitful to post outdated pictures" He tells me he wasn't being deceiving and that those were just the pictures he had posted at the time of making the account. I told him he needed to update them then, and he said something along the lines of "just leave me alone". So I sent a voice message and was like I don't appreciate you vilifying me. I didn't do or say anything wrong. I'm not vain and I think it's fucking weird to go into a situationship hoping I fall in love with you through texts alone, that way when you reveal your looks , I won't care because I'm so in love". He tells me my language is vulgar and that I'm a rude and nasty person, and basically says to piss off. And I go "gladly"
I ended up feeling really bad and messaged him one last time saying I'm sorry if I hurt him and that I got a little carried away in the end. He goes "I respect the apology. We're not a good match. Best of luck"…
…… so you still think what you did was okay?
No. 2278216
>>2278205You should have been even worse to him, he’s an immature
victim complex loser who will die alone and it’ll be his fault. Good riddance. Sorry for the waste of your time though. But it’s never wrong to flat out dump men over stuff like this or whatever isn’t meeting your relationship standards, otherwise women end up bowing to them and scrambling all over to please and appease them and their stupid egos and personal problems forever.
No. 2278231
>>2278223It was because we spoke mostly on instagram, where all his photos were also from a while back.
He was really boring. He also always got offended when I was in no way trying to offend?
During the discussion I unfollowed him on accident and he asked why. I joked that it was an accident but that it's not like im missing out considering he doesn't look like his photos. He goes , "If you think that hurt my feelings then you failed miserably". I was like…. no? I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. I'm literally just saying those photos aren't how you look so I don't care to see them.
No. 2278235
File: 1732671673833.jpg (142.38 KB, 816x810, 1000018448.jpg)
>>2278205>I ended up feeling really bad and messaged him one last time saying I'm sorry if I hurt him and that I got a little carried away in the end.I'm not gonna call you a dumbass, but I will say this. Women have
got to learn to not give a fuck about how men feel. Because caring too much about men being sad is exactly how women stay in shit relationships, or come crawling back to their exes because they genuinely believe that their moids will kill themselves for being dumped. Ehatever heartbreak a woman feels about a relationship, a man feels only half of that if anything at all. If a man is ever more devastated at a relationship ending than the woman is, chances are he's fucked up in the head and either
wants to kill the woman, or is already on his plan to do so.
No. 2278246
>>2278243It was him. It wasn't a model kek and I had him on instagram where the account was 100% real, with friends tagged in photos and everything.
I think some people are just that retarded.
No. 2278264
File: 1732673088787.png (895 KB, 1069x943, 1689115037816416.png)
>Know guy for a while now
>A decent person to me
>I soon develop a crush on him over a 3 month period
>We both go out on a get together I planned and confess to him afterwards at his place.
>He gives me a look after I confess that still makes me feel like shit.
>Says he doesn't see me that way back, I suddenly want to cry.
>I end up crying thinking I put him on the spot making this awkward and He tries his best to comfort me
>He tell me he is flattered but isn't looking to date anyone
I wish I could die. the drive home was killing me every second I was in the car with him. We have good chemistry. I know I fucked up and I hate how he was nice about it. I need him to ghost me. I need him to leave me. I don't want to see him anymore. I hate it. I think i should kill him so he doesn't tell anyone I know.
No. 2278265
File: 1732673184538.jpg (33.21 KB, 640x587, 1000019233.jpg)
>>2278241>I also will never explode on a guy again.. because that shows how bothered I am. I'd rather casually cut it off and humiliate him with me not giving a fuckYes, that's what you should start doing. If your intuition and intelligence is telling you that a scrote isn't worth it, don't let it hurt you. Tell yourself that he was a poor investment and move on, like you just lost a game at Chuck E. Cheese's yet you still have a bunch of coins left. If you ever do find yourself in your feelings and deeply emotional or even sorry about it,
never ever let the moid see it. Treat them like how children of cut off narcissist parents do, and "gray rock" him. If a moid values YOU and wants to be alongside YOU, he will come to YOU and
prove that to YOU, and he will only prove it by being useful, dedicated and as unretarded as possible. Note, most moids fail to prove their redemption.
No. 2278393
File: 1732677330099.jpeg (107.66 KB, 950x623, IMG_5552.jpeg)
I just hate working.
I hate having to go to a miserable job and I miss my cat every time I have to travel for work.
My job pays me well and I work semi remotely so I should be grateful and I know I’m luckier than most rn but all I can think of is that I’m wasting days of my life away from my cat so I can pay for Israeli citizens healthcare. I hate this country sm.
No. 2278454
File: 1732679258612.png (400.3 KB, 351x396, pumpkin.png)
i feel such a terrible sadness and im heavily considering doing ketamine and coke in my bedroom again. ive come really far and im going to graduate soon but i think my medicine stopped working and i feel stuck, unable to create or be happy or feel like im getting anywhere. pathetic
No. 2278498
>>2278454I was addicted to k for a while when I was graduating. You shouldn't do it, at least smoke weed or something to the fill the void so you can focus on exams. Doing more is just temporary happiness. Sure, I know the little happiness is good and all but you should at least wait until you got some school stuff sorted to become a ket demon.
Also I hate coke so that combo sounds like a nightmare kek
No. 2278827
File: 1732707233851.gif (729.16 KB, 220x220, nikocado-avocado-mental-breakd…)
i know i've gained a shit ton of weight in a month cause last time i wore these panties they were loose as fuck, so loose i was considering throwing them away but now they are really tight on my inner thighs. i don't even want to weigh myself cause i'll end up having a melt down. i simply can't stop eating lately and i don't know what's going on. i'm typing this as i'm eating kneaded bread
No. 2278830
File: 1732707642680.jpg (28.02 KB, 519x550, ac9c7c22d93be9c24e8fadb63bd64b…)
I'm tired of losing friends. Sure, these friendships started when I was younger, and we just happened to grow into completely different people than before. We spent so much time together, and now I have to let it all go because they happen to be immature and irresponsible, and non-responsive to my tries to discuss and salvage our shit. I'll be much better without them. But goddamn.
No. 2278905
>>2278878i wanted to come delete this post because i felt bad i accused him of such a horrible thing when it was literally just a communication problem but it was 1 minute after the deadline, i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm so sorry he's not a bad person, he doesn't hurt me, he would never intend to hurt me, i just didn't say no clear enough and i told him to just hurry and finish, that was me consenting, he's a good person, he's not a bad person at all, i'm sorry, i didn't mean it that way, i feel so guilty, the guilt is eating me up inside, i'm sorry i love him so much i'm so sorry he doesn't deserve that i'm sorry
No. 2278938
K this will probably be my last post identifying myself as an anon who went thru Hurricane Helene. Just wanted to say that I left the toxic brother in law's place and moved into an airBnB that a really nice landlord put up for people whose lives got fucked by the hurricane. I'm living with another hurricane person in a house that would normally be rented for over $1000 a week for $600 a month, all utilities and wifi included. It's great, the biggest house I've ever lived in. The rent is really cheap, albeit for only 4 months, but that gives me enough time to find a permanent place. My town has drinkable water again but a lot of people don't trust it. I'm on well water here.
This is the vent thread, so my only complaint is that this house is out in East Jesus Bumfuck and it's a bit of a commute to get to my job, and sometimes the cell signal here is terrible. So there's a vent. Mostly I'm glad that my personal hurricane drama is over.
My friends who lived out of their cars in a parking lot for a whole month moved home with their families for now, in different states. So we won't see each other for a while until (if) they decide to move back. I've mostly gotten over my hardships, but there are still a lot of people living in tents, even a lot of single moms with kids, and if I think about it too hard it makes me sad as hell. I started crying in a Ross when I was out buying socks yesterday, and had to leave. I'm not normally a person who cries, and never in public. It's getting cold here and there are constantly people online in facebook groups begging for a vehicle so they can take their kids to school/get to work and asking for tent heaters. It's still so fucked up.
No. 2278979
>>2278498its just shameful to do that stuff again when im getting my bachelors, im closer to my mid 20s than early at this point. but im in a lot of internal pain. thank you though
nonnie i should stay away from that good feeling. wish i could smoke weed but i get paranoid and for some reason im scared of not having control of myself kek (yet ket seems to be a more comforting idea to me? pfft) nicotine used to help me with exams but i dont want to get addicted again. i guess im fucked, nothing helps this depression and im going to fail these classes. maybe my medication can get bumped up. childish i am, child child, i have it so good
No. 2279057
File: 1732721907319.png (947.56 KB, 640x640, IMG_7865.png)
>>2278878I wish I could give you a piece of advice that would bring immediate relief but it sounds like you might be in your head too much and letting the grief and anxiety dictate you. I hate therapyfags but you’re someone who might benefit from talking to a therapist and building some self esteem. Take a break from the internet and go volunteer somewhere or take long walks when you can. I’m so sorry about your mom and idk how spiritual you are but I like to believe that the ones we love never leave us and instead show up in different forms when we need them most.
No. 2279074
>>2278905Why are you sorry what random people on the internet think about some man? You should be more sorry to yourself, learn bodily autonomy and how to say no. Talk to your husband, if you can't have an adult conversation about how he isn't supporting you and how you don't feel secure enough to say when you don't want to have sex then you two shouldn't be having sex. Learn to communicate with each other, marriage is a partnership, you wouldn't want him to be scared of telling you how he feels either.
I'm sorry about your family anon, you have a lot to recover from and hopefully time will help you but I agree with the other anon who suggested you get some professional support. You do need friends that you can trust but you could also look into seeking grief support networks, or even self help books if you can't find one or afford professional support.
No. 2279079
>>2278878>"I'm all alone and no one cares about me">Has a husbandWhy do people always say they're totally alone when they have a husband/wife (that they swear is good) and a fairly successful life (bullies on the internet don't count, they literally don't exist in your life)?
>>2278905Then why did you write that in the first place if you're so guilty??
No. 2279157
>>2279143It's just a small pool when too few women are into it. I really didn't vibe with the few women I met through rowing which is mostly a male passtime. In my quad boat, one was a nationalist, one was a cop, one was a scary anachan.
But I met a lot of fascinating and interesting women through bridge which is played mostly by women, and my bridge partner became one of my best friends.
No. 2279175
>>2279123they're not getting what they need from the people around them so they still feel lonely, it's not that hard to understand. I empathize with
>>2278878 because i'm in a very similar situation. I'd be your friend nona!
No. 2279224
File: 1732730498179.jpg (28.09 KB, 564x332, 640.jpg)
Seeing a mother or father with their teenage daughter always makes me tear up. I miss my parents so much, but at least I can call my dad. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see just how much my own face resembles my mom's and it makes me sob. I wish I had spent more time having conversations with her instead of wasting my time being an annoying teenager!!
No. 2279256
File: 1732731376925.jpeg (203.75 KB, 508x469, 53C88D19-9F1F-4283-953F-99867B…)
>>2279224I’m sorry for your loss
nonny. My dad passed away unexpectedly last year so I understand the regret you feel, not making the most of the time you had together. If I could go back and do it over again I would but I try to give myself some grace that I was a shitty kid doing shitty kid things. And despite that my parents loved me anyways. I try to view it as a testament of their love for me rather than a deficiency of my character.
No. 2279286
File: 1732731977569.jpg (70.2 KB, 1280x720, sadcat.jpg)
i miss my mom so much. she's had dementia for 10 years (since i was 18) and has just rapidly regressed since then. i live in a different country now and its so hard to communicate with someone who has lost their ability to speak the same language as you.
my childhood was very traumatic, some part due to her but i can't hold it against her. she came from a war-torn country and i speculate that her family's ill health is a consequence of that and being exposed to chemical warfare. growing up, she worked full time and did 99% of all the housework and child rearing. i can't even do all the housework with no kids. i also fucking hate my dad for it. i would still have my mom if he were a better husband and father. i would love to tell him what i really think of him someday but he's my only immediate family that i speak to so that'll have to wait.
there's so much i would want to talk to her about. my childhood, my siblings, people we knew, etc. and i no longer can. i feel so much regret not asking these questions but at the same her dementia came VERY early at the craziest time for our family. i feel if i were older at the time, i would have handled it much better.
i always find myself crying before holidays and family occasions probably in part because i know so many people who still are able to talk to their 60+ y/o mom and have a relationship with that when my mom isn't even 60 yet. i didn't get to have a mom like that for 20 years. so many people are able to improve their relationships with their parents as an adult but i didn't even get a chance with mom.
No. 2279473
File: 1732737708157.jpeg (71.62 KB, 820x897, IMG_4423.jpeg)
So im painstakingly reviewing and deleting photos and videos one by one from my iphone that span from 2017-2024, and holy shit, i was so fucking annoying and cringe as a teenager. I peaked in awfulness at 15(in 2020).
I used to think my peers were so cruel for avoiding and bullying me, but i understand it now. I want to beat the shit out of 15 year old me. I was also a huge bitch to my sister for no reason?
I have no right using lolcow with a history like this. I can't believe i forgot i was like this. should go ahead and make a thread on myself kekkkkk.
No. 2279535
File: 1732739101921.webp (75.37 KB, 1080x1080, IMG_20241126_215810_483.webp)
Didn't even FUCKING know Thanksgiving was tomorrow, time is going by so fast and it is surreal, I mean it seems like March was a week ago, Jesus. I have done nothing in that time but get worse. Feels like I'm losing control and I can't feel anything most time, just feels like empty and disorienting. I don't really know how to describe it, sad and scared? But also apathetic and I just want to sleep all day.
No. 2279545
>>2279535I know. It feels like 2024 was barely here, man. I already gotta think about what to do for my
next New Year's Resolution.
No. 2279584
File: 1732755796080.jpg (117.14 KB, 564x832, 11.jpg)
its really hard to let go of lc because its a mindless habit and because i have no "community" online or in real life. but i think its made me scroll more, consume posts and have no unique thoughts, and im no saint but the gossip aspect feels so evil, like its tainting me. but i guess i feel that way about most things lately. i wonder if i should make a neocities, or tumblr, i could encourage myself to create things again, and id have a place to share them. for some reason i cant work on things i love if im too alone, i fall into bad habits. i feel so negative and lost. maybe its performative but it just feels nice to think of making my own blog, to do things and share them for something outside of myself. i feel like im getting retarded is all and it needs to end, but getting back to being a more positive, creative person doesnt happen as quickly as id like. i feel AHHHH
No. 2279588
>>2279581i cut people off unintentionally too,
nonnie. its really hard, because the thought slips our minds and then it comes our turn to speak and we're stood there all deer-in-headlights. i have a recommendation i myself have been trying to employ, and you will look autistic doing it, too, but pick your battles i guess.
aside from being patient and just keeping your input to yourself as someone switches the topic (because i assume if they wanted your input, theyd circle back to it or not switch?) you can try to keep a notepad and write down your points. this only works in certain scenarios i know, but it avoids people getting annoyed
No. 2279589
File: 1732756046691.jpg (35.68 KB, 366x488, 1688051470631.jpg)
i want to quit my job because they denied all the days off that i asked for. i told them i only wanted to work a certain amount of hours and they agreed, but they haven't respected that.
i hate working retail, i miss all the fun my friends have. technically, i don't have to work because i am provided for, but i would be living like a peasant if i quit with no money to go out for food, to have hobbies, to even enjoy things.
my hours clash with all the fun things my friends want to do, and my work won't let me take any of the time off. i didn't even ask for full days off, i asked to not work after 4pm, but they want me to stay until 9pm. my friends have Christmas parties, secret santa gift exchange, light viewing nights, and i literally can't even go with them because i'm the only wagie moron working retail. i just want to quit this shit job. maybe living like a peasant will be better for me.
fuck this gay earth
No. 2279630
File: 1732758022720.jpeg (138.78 KB, 735x794, IMG_3194.jpeg)
I realize this website is completely shit now yet I keep coming back for more. I’m so hopelessly retarded and desperate, I really wish there was another female-oriented website like this that doesn’t have a bunch of retarded women on it.
No. 2279656
>>2278799It was.
He's not the type for attention seeking, maybe we are JUST friends after all.
I don't hate that but I'm still feeling shitty from it.
No. 2279676
>>2279666I mean NTA but objectively is that not true? Women are more likely to congregate with the common interest of attraction to men. It’s just heterosexual behaviour. The women who don’t have that interest are more likely to just be ok with sharing spaces with men.
Spaces like lolcow manifesting are incredibly rare (and even then the % of males is definitely higher than fc and hkc)
No. 2279766
File: 1732764598051.jpg (33.75 KB, 736x717, 0de6cb8a64404a31ec479b47113810…)
i'm genuinely reconsidering my friendship with my close friend because i just can't handle his bpd-chan behaviour.
he bases his entire self-worth, happiness and well-being on this idea that he needs a partner/best friend that he does EVERYTHING with, like he NEEDS someone to latch onto to be there for him at his beck and call to play games with him and VC with him and hang out etc etc. not sex, not intimacy. just flirting at best and nothing more.
he said, verbatim - "I want someone to obsess over me and wanna do everything with me." not only is this unrealistic but fucking insane.
He’s jealous that i have a partner that i get to hang out with, because he’s under the assumption that him and i are like that, but in complete honesty my boyfriend and i DO live together, but we’re not hanging off of each other 24/7, it’d drive us both fucking insane.
over the past year and a half he's latched onto specific people who he either inevitably drives away because of his clinginess, or are too depressed or busy to be as social and enthusiastic for the standard he expects. and he crashes hard over it. like SUPER hard, he gets inconsolably depressed and then he just starts acting extremely petulant and sulky for weeks.
it doesn't profoundly affect my life but it just seeps into conversations between us and our other friends. and i love him like a brother, i don't like seeing him be depressed and shit.
i feel bad for him solely in the sense that this is entirely preventable, I've POLITELY but firmly mentioned to him that his goal isn't realistic and his response was "i knooow but i just want it."
If this was a one-off incident where he was just at his lowest point, i’d disregard it and move on but this shit is cyclical.
he’s a fun guy and he’s cultivated an entire group of friends who like him, but he doesn’t seem to care beyond pursuing the idea of that ONE best friend/partner. and it just feels like such a big fuck you to all of us and that none of us are enough for him. He always has nitpicky complaints about everyone because he can't handle someone NOT being completely ideal and perfect.
we ARE his friends, we hang out with him and chat to him, but because we aren’t attached to his hip and fawning over him, apparently we mean less? He’s even said he’s not content with people just liking him, he wants to be loved.
It completely devalues my efforts as a friend and i just feel like i shouldn’t bother because he’s too fixated on this stupid idea than valuing the friends he HAS. I give up.
No. 2280161
File: 1732794923547.jpg (33.85 KB, 448x329, IMG_20240330_165735.jpg)
I've been soooo infatuated (I would say it's even limerence) with a fucking internet personality for a full year now and I hate it. I've never had "romantic feelings" towards someone before, not even for this guy. He was always there, existing; but I guess the planets aligned and made everything fall into place so I could become their clown to laugh at. For real, there's been ZERO days where I do not think of him or fantasize about meeting each other,connecting with just a gaze and having our short summer romance. I pretty aware that I'm mostly idealizing him sinceI don't really know him and he's mostly an impossible, but even that HE IS THE ONLY ONE I WANT, HE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN MAKE ME HAPPY. I got this feeling that I will never feel this for anyone again, and it makes me kinda sad realize that I might living all my life longing for someone that doesn't really exist. I'm going insane, I wanna pull my eyeballs off and kill myself,this is so humilliating.
No. 2280170
>>2279933This is how everyone sees men:
Well groomed scrote with fitting haircut: gay
Hairy roided ape with ugly haircut: straight
And i hate it, this is all mens fault for pushing this shit on each other, now they don't even wash their ass on fear of being gay.
No. 2280290
File: 1732804339457.jpg (89.72 KB, 850x645, __suletta_mercury_miorine_remb…)
i'll stop being in denial actually i'm addicted to weed yup. i used to be an alcoholic so this is way better, but i want to stop. not that i'm all day high but the damage is there, sometimes i confuse words when i'm talking and that didn't happened to me before. but i need to get a fucking JOB and i apply to everything and still i get nothing. i hate my lazy life please give me a job i'm descending into NEET madness
No. 2280412
>decide to get pc to play games bc my macbook keeps cucking me
>nothing fancy, refurbished laptop from a few years ago
>download skyrim, have a blast playing it, a little slow but no real issues (aside from usual bethesda bugs)
>decide to buy detroit: become human on sale (story seems cool, plus the twinky robot is super cute)
>takes forever to buy bc new debit card and in a different country
>time to download, 50 GB (sidenote: when did games get so fucking big???)
>takes six hours on my slowass cell data
>next day, super excited to play, took so long to get here
>game can't run because i don't have the right graphics card (at no point in the process was i informed of this)
>now have to try and get refund
>turns out i'll probably have this same problem with lots of other games
I'm really upset because I don't even care about shit like resolution and framerate, I just want to explore the story. If there was a mod that replaced everything with clipart and stick figures I'd gladly take it. But now every game needs to separate itself from the others by making everything as big and complicated as possible. Gotta get those sweet sweet Kotaku hype articles, so let's throw in whatever we can think of. That said, I understand now why gamers get so pissed about glitches and bugs. If I'd shelled out $900 for the poopenfarten ultraxxx mountaindew graphix card, I'd be pretty mad if the textures didn't load in.
Sorry for blog
No. 2280450
File: 1732812836312.jpg (242.5 KB, 1024x1001, 1000002057.jpg)
its been a month since my pet died. sometimes im still in denial, ill look at the spots he used to lay in and i cant believe that someone so important to me for so long is gone forever. its the forever part that is still really tough because it was recent enough i can still remember exactly what he was like, how his paws felt, etc. but eventually more time will pass and it will have been even longer since the last time i held him. i wish i could have spent forever in that final week with him, but that time is already gone. i used to acknowledge how lucky i was to own 3 wonderful animals, i knew it was a blessing that couldnt last forever. i just have such a hard time accepting that that joy is over, that decade of my life is over, and that my sweetest baby had to go first.
No. 2280452
File: 1732812895447.gif (90.24 KB, 570x640, smoking-pic.gif)
I've had nightmares before where I'd wake up one day to find a thread about me on LC where all my personal information got doxxed and nonnies are writing greentexts about my cowish behaviour while nitpicking my appearances. I don't even have any social media that would cause me to get doxxed but seeing all that happen to YP is honestly kinda surreal.
No. 2280463
>>2280450oh
nonnie…i really wish i could hug you because no words would be enough and i guess neither would a hug. im so sorry for your loss
No. 2280505
>>2280491Do anons here really type the same as here elsewhere? Kek. I changed my typing style to integrate, there is no way I type the same on literally any other website.
That being said, even if you did that doesn’t seem identifiable to me. YP is a specific case who has very specific spergouts she apparently does not contain to one social media site.
No. 2280520
File: 1732815201710.png (96.15 KB, 400x400, IMG_9252.png)
i don’t want to go to thanksgiving dinner
No. 2280544
>>2280505>>2280514>>2280518It's not just typing style too. If you drop an opinion outside of here that seems too based, like it can only come from a farmer, it's possible that someone insane enough can put the pieces together. Plus anons here tend to overshare very personal info on the off topic boards.
Like, I've managed to dox a personal lolcow before, based on the information I know about him, and this guy was a terminally online autist who never left the house. Many people don't realize how easy it is to find your personal information out there.
No. 2280729
I'm very mentally ill but treatment worked beautifully me so I can function normally now. It took 10 years of hard work and therapy and during this time I slowly conquered things I wanted: anxiety doesn't dominate my life anymore, I have decent self esteem, I have a sense of self, I have a career, I have friends. I'm even able to host parties, which is something I always dreamed of.
My latest achievement was being able to have a relationship. I'm dating a man now, and it's light and fun. Most importantly, I know that if we break up, I'll be able to move on and find another man if I want to. This is insane to me, 30 year old me would never have thought this was even possible.
I'm 33 now. My ideal life always had a child in it, even though I knew it was basically impossible. Even though part of me feels happy and acomplished with my evolution, another part of me hates myself for taking this long. I don't see myself having a baby with my current moid. I don't have the time to search for a man who wants children and with whom I would also like to have a child. I fought and worked hard but it wasn't enough. It's too late. Part of me is celebrating, but another part is mourning.
No. 2280783
File: 1732828942454.jpg (36.08 KB, 287x285, wut.jpg)
My mom's bf looked at my ass or crotch when I was in normal clothes.
Obviously I can't tell her because her relationship makes her happy and she's had a hard life, if I move out soon instead of doing uni whilst living at home, it won't even matter anyway. But this guy has a daughter, so I feel like he can't be a creep, my mom says he's so nice, and does nice things, so I feel like I'm making it up, even though, especially when my mom's not there, I've caught his eyes moving downwards or pretending to look at something else. However, he does drive me to places sometimes, and is nice to my mom. Otherwise he talks to be seen talking, the embodiment of a walking r/lookatmyhalo, if I'm making sense- says very obvious things in a self important voice as if it's profound wisdom, and is performatively nice and fake. I feel like he's almost smug that I'm uncomfortable. My sister said he did the same before she moved out too, even when she was 14/15, she said he groaned and looked at her weird- his eyes FOLLOW you across the room in a weird way. She's quite calm and composed, so hearing her say she felt homocidal towards him was a shock.
My mom adores him and harps on about nice things he may have done five to ten years ago. I don't know…he is nice, in a performative, smug way, but I still know he looked at me that way, and seems to enjoy my discomfort without making it obvious. Still, the way my mom worships him, I feel like I'm making this up. A part of my head wants to say 'you're making this up, you're looking for attention' but I wouldn't do that, I really would want my mom to be happy. Am I a POS for focusing on his flaws and not appreciating the nice things he does? (chores for my mom or picking me up from work) I feel terrible, because I'm making my mom said by running upstairs when he's here, she thinks I'm being difficult and bitchy because I can't tell her the truth. Maybe I am dramatic and ungrateful
No. 2280798
>>228072935 is the age when your fertility declines, so unless you're from a particularly barren family you've probably got at leave 5 years to find a decent moid if you take a home grown baby
After that, there's always IVF and adoption. You don't have to have a baby, but if you want one there's still time.
I'm going to foster in my late 40s, depending on how that goes I could realistically adopt at that age, still. Good luck.
No. 2280818
>>2280812Thats disgusting
nonny, I apologize for your dads idiocy
No. 2280851
>>2280783~1/7 girls with stepfathers are sexually abused by them, there's a real chance he's with your mom to get to possible
victims. if he's appearing nice it's to sink his teeth even more into her. tell her he's a creep. he is affecting you relationship with your mother and do you really want this man in your life long term, who knows what other family members he would be sexually abusing?
No. 2280882
>>2280832He's been with my mom for over ten years, so I don't think he's going to leave her now, or cheat, he seems to just take the opportunity to 'peek' whilst staying with my mom. But yes- that is true, being into an adult woman doesn't stop you from being a peedo, although I'm not a minor now, we both were recently, and if my sister saw that at 14, I believe her. I wouldn't shatter my mom and make her lonely by telling her though, she should have someone who loves her to spend her aging years with.
>>2280851Again- he's been with us for so long, after the sister he creeped on moved out. I think he genuinely loves my mom, but that doesn't make him a good person or not a creep. There's no other young girls in the family after I move out- I feel my mom might as well have good company as she gets older, he makes her happy, since she's been so good to us and given so much. But it still makes me sad to have this secret between me and my mom, to not be able to be myself at home anymore.
No. 2280897
File: 1732836577226.jpg (82.49 KB, 710x1065, 1000010194.jpg)
Do you know this fat feeling when you order a piece of clothing online and you look at it and thik to yourself 'fuck this is huge, I need to return it and order smaller size' and then you try it on and it fits perfectly
No. 2280908
File: 1732837215740.gif (1.91 MB, 737x365, eat-chocolate-cake.gif)
I was just going to make a chocolate cake from scratch but of course my sister uses one of the cake pans so I just will make it after thanksgiving. I dont even fuck with this shitty booty holiday anyway I just wanted to bake a cake and say I put my blood sweat and tears into it and really mean it. But of all the pans we have why would you use the cake pan to make your shitty jiffy cornbread!?
No. 2280918
>>2280505Yeah, I pretty much talk the same way here as I do in real life. I barely ever comment/post anywhere else.
>>2280514Kek, I'm curious, how do you type normally?
No. 2280938
File: 1732838950279.gif (190.33 KB, 220x168, 1000029772.gif)
>>2280935Miss Trunchbull is unironically such a fucking delightful character kek
No. 2280976
>>2280938>>2280962Omg thank god you weren't my p6 teacher who noticed me having a melt down because my mum decided to give me a sex 101 introduction before school drop off so she could better explain to me what an affair was and my dad was fucking a whore and destroying a family. My teacher gave me extra care and attention without making a scene. My mum started to become physically
abusive towards her kids to cope with her marriage and all being hit did to me was make me sneaky with bad behaviour and anxious
No. 2281013
I hate this stupid house. I hate this stupid fucking house. My dad:
>everytime i go into the kitchen, he follows me there, to go "look" into the fridge, to sip coffee he leaves in the kitchen, to take out his food, to go into the terrace to move something, or to put his cup so that he drinks later. Even when im preparing food, he goes into the terrace to smoke. He watches movies all day and the moment i go into the kitchen, he stops the movie and does all of these things. And then has the audacity to ask me "why do you always stop when i come?"
>when im in the terrace listening to music, he sneaks his head and when i turn to see him he goes away. Or he sits down and starts smoking, or goes to move something.
>he is geriatric and alcoholic, so he has urinal incontinence. I used to sit in the living past 12:00pm so i could finally be alone since i my mom and i share a room. No i can't sit there because it reeks of piss. He also cleans his piss with the bathrobe behind the door, so the bathroom always reeks of piss. He also doesn't wash his hands after and walks around in just boxers. The whole house reeks of piss.
>even when he goes to the bathroom he loudly breaths, sighs, grunts, coughs, i can't even not hear him. I even hear him sometimes when doing anything in the kitchen all the way to my room.
> his teeth are rotten and worn out so he can't chew anything other than soft foods. What does he eat? He mixes chicken and chops up rice, salmon, and mixes it with water, then he eats half of it and freezes it, he next day he chops up more food and mixes that with what he froze yesterday, then its half of it again, and freezes the rest, so none of his food actually fresh and has his saliva mixed in. he has like four containers of this in his freezer. But im the crazy one for constantly washing my hands for wanting as little contact as possible.
>he rinses his mouth in the sink and leaves all of the residue to dry in the sink. So everytime i want to wash my hands in the bathroom i have to scrub the sink, and i can't do it after 8:00pm because the water gets cut off at that hour.
>i have to wash my hands after touching almost anything in the kitchen because no matter how much i clean there is food residue in the fridge door, the counters, the microwave and even the soap bottle.
I do have OCD, but am i seriously crazy if im grossed out? The only way i can temporarily overcome it to get through the day is to make my mindset "nothing matters, the house is filthy but it doesn't matter" and try to become as apathetic as possible but it just pisses me off and makes me not want to live. Im gonna kill myself.
No. 2281032
File: 1732843415470.png (829.33 KB, 834x2030, screencapture64545.png)
The thing with Emilie Autumn and the AI art stuff is that she genuinely thought it'd work because of all the time she spent bullshitting throughout her career. It's a uniquely millenial "old hat" conceit. She saw people call her out, so instead of backing down, she doubled down with that old sketch, thinking "Everyone loves a great story". She didn't realize it'd make her look worse, and now she's kind of stuck with a massive L. It may have worked in 2005, it's like she has "can't teach an old dog new tricks" syndrome. In general, she doesn't seem to want to create anymore. No good/fun merch, no new music, no new books. That's what's so scary about getting older. I don't want to reach a certain age and just stop evolving mentally or give up on what I want to make. It happens to so many people.
No. 2281061
File: 1732845243829.png (473.09 KB, 1352x622, quacksgiving.png)
>>2281054ahem,
403 years ago
No. 2281062
>>2281053this is such a weak way of trying to tiptoe around genocide and subjugation. stop being a pussy.
>>2281054me to turks, armenians, first world women, jewish people, black people, white people, south koreans, the japanese, indians, china, russians, and everyone else
No. 2281070
>>2281024>Shut the fuck up about colonialismcolonialism hasn’t been a thing since the 1700’s though
nonnie. this is why non burgers shouldn’t comment on American culture kek
No. 2281090
File: 1732846167361.jpg (66.27 KB, 464x546, Fo9tGmbaIAAHtcF.jpg)
>>2281072is that your fetish or something? a certain subset of people are very weird about this, it's always
>this bad thing happened>no it didn't/it was actually ok>yes it did/no it wasn't, what the fuck>ok WELL do you want me to kneel down and beg for mercy and lick their feet, go to different parts of the country in chains with my buddies, wear a sign on my neck reading "so sorry" and let these people FUCK MY WIFE as REPARATIONS??? is that what you want???try just being normal or something, only narcs center everything about how much they hate themselves or how they totally dindu nuffin. maybe look to political organizations that represent whatever people are being talked about and listening to them kek
No. 2281111
File: 1732847607775.gif (165.87 KB, 220x123, 1000017614.gif)
I'm starting to like a guy and I really hate it, because the way I like people isn't healthy at all. I become obsessive and dependent on his attention and have a lot of bad thoughts. My self-esteem is destroyed. Fuck, I was feeling so peaceful not caring about anyone. Why is it happening again?
No. 2281124
>>2281122french and other non burger users tend to use ‘ rather than ' or "
>>2281121i thought it was pretty clear that more people than the OP were discussing the subject, lmao
No. 2281137
>>2281131Did you actually read the posts you were responding to? Anon, this post
>>2281108 (which you responded to here
>>2281113 )
is in response to this post
>>2281090 No. 2281141
>>2281134Nta but Op's comment is one of those edgelordian
>Americans need to think about what they've done!!posts, when all of the Americans who actually did commit atrocities against Natives are already dead
No. 2281149
>>2281145it's pretty clearly aimed at
>>2281072 and people that act that way in particular ("a certain subset of people"), not all americans. and idk, those photos have been floating around for years, and google is always available.
No. 2281169
>>2281165here:
>>2281154 and
>>2281137i think you should calm down, you just misinterpreted the post and got weirdly hung up on the british thing. shit happens lol
No. 2281170
>>2281167i think everyone who learns about history and politics disagrees with you. homeschooling is not good
nonny.
No. 2281179
File: 1732850130277.jpg (138.09 KB, 736x736, c6dd7250d9c06fba4e46db6db609ee…)
i will never have this
No. 2281185
>>2281181Here, let me help you out:
>>2281046>>2281053>>2281061>>2281065>>2281072>>2281182I don't know why you're calling me slow when the post authored verbatim says
>Perhaps during this Thanksgiving Americans can have a think about giving the States back to the natives and if not then shut the fuck up about Colonialism No. 2281192
>>2281185that was you? that just means you got a reply here
>>2281090 and just yelled "reeee shut up!!!" because you couldn't actually argue with the suggestion given or the observation made, and now you're trying to pretend your dumb posts represent all americans. this is embarrassing, kek.
No. 2281202
>>2281199When did I claim or pretend that I speak for all Americans? I stated
my personal opinion.
No. 2281206
>>2281202when you pretended
>>2281090 was aimed at americans in general, not just yourself and other strange individuals, including those from britain.
No. 2281218
>>2281214In neither of those posts do I say the words "this post is targeted at Americans", I assumed we were discussing Americans because the conversation we were having was about Americans and the comment was also responding to Americans and the topic of an American holiday
>>2281216Do you wanna tag what posts that you think are all the same person?
No. 2281220
>>2281218this was probably the lamest baiting ever. do better next time (and get tested for autism),
nonny.
No. 2281222
>>2281218>>2281200>NTA but what small detail was I fixating on?Holy fuck I'm not that anon (NTA) you replied too, but in the green text you wrote, "Not that anon (NTA), but what detail was
IYou're either a retard, a retard trying to samefag or a retard
No. 2281337
File: 1732864815951.jpg (270.5 KB, 1143x1200, 1726251708009.jpg)
All i want is a decently looking boyfriend that is kind and sweet and not some insane right leaning extremely misogynistic dude. Men like this are so hard to find in the country i live in unless they are gay, everyone is so radicalized here the only guys who hit on me were all weird conservatives, please free me from this shithole.
No. 2281351
>>2281345How are you feeling
nonnie?
No. 2281433
File: 1732874751188.png (251.4 KB, 587x444, IMG_9337.png)
still not over fumbling the 6ft+ wasian with nice hands and dimples.
No. 2281546
File: 1732888986699.webp (84.74 KB, 800x929, AllMatters_typesofhymen_blog.w…)
>>2281516The hymen never leaves the body, anon. There's typically a hole inside it. If you had no hole there (or a very tiny hole/small holes), you'd most likely have to get surgery to prevent complications with menstruation and/or sex.
The hole can stretch a bit wider and/or thin out, but it grows back over time. Just be careful when you insert/remove tampons.
No. 2281548
>>2281499She probably tells herself that shit when she looks in the mirror because she's older than you and ended up working at an employment center. It's bitterness, and likely envy. Don't take any of it to heart, you're doing great
nonny.
No. 2281606
>>2281550>undesirable ethnicityI expect all sorts of insults for this but in the creative queer lefty scene, if you are not white and make yourself known as being SSA you will have all the pussy thrown at you that you can handle. The only problem will be navigating who is just looking for a fetishistic queer
PoC experience uwu and who is actually looking for a relationship.
No. 2281716
File: 1732895421226.jpg (37.58 KB, 300x300, ab67706c0000da84735cc03c384fb1…)
Rejection from women feel so fucking awful. Been trying to reach out to get more normie friends, or at the very least non-spergy nerd friends. The only normie people I get along with are moids, but I want a stronger feminine circle but I always end up finding out I'm either the pet oddball or the only one in the group that isn't a part of their group chats despite me being the one that is pushed to arrange get-togethers at my place.
I always work hard to contain my power level, I'm pretty sure I'm not weird and I always try to meet people where they are mentally and personality-wise. But still, that is not enough. Every time I get hurt like this I just want to die.
I have a small circle I've had for many years, I love them but they are handmaidens and a bit spergy. I want to have a wider circle of people around me so I can always ask for opinions from people from a completely different point of view, and experience different types of people so I can constantly evolve as a person. But I guess I'm too much of a loser for people to bother with.
No. 2281762
File: 1732897700192.gif (496.2 KB, 500x341, tumblr_madghtZUsa1rx8lgjo1_500…)
yesterday I wore really tight shoes, which caused blisters on both feet. Today I wore different shoes because I had another busy day and while the one on my right feet looks as it did yesterday, the one on my left feet (between two toes) got so much bigger. It now has the size of a damn pea (or even bigger than that) and not only is it uncomfortable, but it also looks super disgusting. I've read that you are not allowed to pop those things. fuck.
No. 2281824
>>2281817No I actually feel really optimistic about cancer in general
With the rapid advancements in medicine I'm almost completely sure it will be easily curable very soon
No. 2281826
File: 1732901256254.png (1.13 MB, 1134x841, PELTOR-X5A-AUTISTICTIC-1.png)
>>2281236been using earmuffs 24/7 for years now, even and especially while trying to sleep
my face skin is starting to peel from constant irritation
No. 2281868
>>2281847>>2281844>>22818431) "They" and their loved ones are gonna get cancer just like everyone else
2) I know some "they's" doing medical research in Big Pharma
Keep that shit in the tinfoil thread
No. 2281923
File: 1732906359967.gif (759.78 KB, 220x201, metoo.gif)
>>2281907same with my dad, nonna!
No. 2282065
File: 1732910180181.png (801.44 KB, 778x611, CA214292-540A-4F97-892D-264465…)
My TiM brother is here for thanksgiving. If any nonas remember me, I’m the one with the troon brother who got massive bolt-ons as part of his gender affirming surgery or whatever the fuck. While here he has brought up bras and how hard it is to find a bra no less than five times. He keeps showing me shitty comics that are suppose to be relatable about how hard bras are to shop for. He’s complained how he has called multiple stores asking if they accept TiM clients for a fitting and they have all said no. He obviously wanted me to volunteer to measure him or give advice but I just have a flat “oh wow” when he was complaining about not being catered to.
I’ve literally never talked about bras or bra fittings with any of my actual female friends as much as he is forcing it on me. If it’s that important to him he can figure it out himself like 99% of women are forced to do. I refuse to be forced into a handmaiden role by default because we are related. I hope his cone tits make him sick.
No. 2282084
>>2281817not particularly, there's some preliminary research suggesting there could be a link between thyroid cancer and vaping. between a lot of cancers and vaping, actually. i would caution vaping anything except for weed. but weed also is concerning due to contaminants… but there are contaminants in literally everything now.
>>2281828i know a lot of people in radiation oncology. radiation therapy should not make cancer spread. it consists of precisely hitting the tumors with a strong dose of radiation. what can make cancer worse or spread is not adhering to your treatment plan. the centers will reschedule patients who don't take their treatments ASAP, even working over time because patients show up 5 hours late to their appointments. there are some cases where people will develop cancer after successfully being treated with radiation but that is VERY rare. i would say having cancer twice is better than dying from cancer once but circumstances definitely vary.
chemo is far from perfect but it's saved countless lives in the decades its been used. immunotherapy is going to replace chemotherapy eventually and it's VERY promising. if you have someone you love with cancer, please ask their oncologist about immunotherapy to find if it is an option for them.
i know someone who had an aggressive kind of kidney cancer that couldn't be treated with radiation or chemo. he was able to have experimental immunotherapy almost a decade ago and is still alive to this day. he also isn't frail or visibly weakened from it.
>>2281843this is not true. if you live in the US being blackpilled about the healthcare industry is understandable but understand that the US isn't the whole world. also some cancers are already 'curable' and the vast majority of ones are treatable with existing and new treatments.
No. 2282238
holy fucking shit i hate criminals and i hate women who defend them and talk about muh muh human rights. are you fucking retarded? what about OUR human rights that they keep on violating but the justice system does nothing about it? i believe criminals and women who defend them MUST be sentenced to death and nothing of value will be lost. how are you a woman defending a fucking rapist, you utterly low iq scum? god, i hate her, she’s a fucking cunt, a pick me, a fucking maid.
i live in a quiet suburb but our neighborhood has been plagued by crime this past year, there have been multiple rapes, car thefts and home invasions with assault rifles and MACHINE GUNS, like what the fuck is this shit? it’s to the point that you can’t sleep in peace at night and living this paranoid is so tiring, my sleep pattern is completely fucked up. whenever i hear or think i see something from the corner of my eye, i panic.
last night, a disgraceful vandal, thug, criminal, hoodlum, etc. tried to break into a neighbors house with a gun and a big ass knife and she sent an audio crying asking for help, it was about 12 am so everyone went outside to help her, kicked the criminal and someone beat the disgrace with a bat (deserved, but a bullet would’ve been better) and then this BITCH that lives in the neighborhood too, who has a home restaurant and feeds criminal looking males comes crying and screaming, making a big deal out of it, starts recording us and talks about ‘his human rights’ and how he is a ‘defenseless man’ AND THREATENS US. what’s wrong with this retard? i legit hope he breaks into her house, and i don’t care if he kills her, if she ever asks for help, we decided that we won’t be helping her. she’s so retarded and thinks she can defend herself, yeah good luck defending yourself from criminals with guns and knives with peace and love, kekkkkkk. she loves defending criminals and it’s probably one of the hoodlums she’s fucking.
i will call the department of health on her stupid ass a thousand times, i’m pretty sure her food permit isn’t up to date because that shit looks unhygienic as FUCK, she has been living here for two years max and came out of nowhere. that home restaurant used to have another name and owner (they dated), and the food was actually great but now she changed the name, the quality changed and the clientele too, it's mostly dodgy-looking moids and truckers. sometimes you can even see RATS outside like who the fuck allows this shit restaurant to stay open? it’s all so bleak, no one knows where the previous owner went, they could’ve killed him for all we know. this sounds bad but i can only hope that someone kills her in hope of this shit ending, because before her arrival we never had break-ins and actually had peace.
i hate living in latin america, i hate living in fear, i hate knowing that i’ll probably never be able to leave this shit continent permanently at least in a legal way, i hate how this country has turned into a shithole so quickly, i hate how a moid can assault, rape and kill, walk free and have a hundred maids caping for his subhuman ass and his human rights. i hate our justice system. what a fucking joke. i hate this and i want to die
No. 2282380
>>2282364And do what? Be a wage slave to a Jewish CEO who steals my profits?
>>2282365Jews are 2% of the population and make up a high percentage of noble prize winners, CEOs, billionaires, etc. It's not like non-Jewish white people who make up the majority of the US population. It's fucking alarming. Hollywood is 60% Jewish. They actively want to ruin western society specifically in America, which is why they push degeneracy like sexual deviancy and violence that actively contribute to disenfranchisement of groups like black Americans. I'm white but it still disgusts me.
>>2282378Jesus fucking christ, no one can criticize you people without one of you waltzing in screeching about pol or anti semitism for pointing out simple facts. Most of this site likely agrees that black people are overrepresented in crime statistics, trannies are overrepresented in suicide rates, so why can't we agree that Jews are overrepresented in positions of power? I've never even used /pol/ either.
(racebait) No. 2282422
File: 1732919816136.jpg (324.81 KB, 1200x1800, Kamala_Harris_Official_Attorne…)
If there was ever a presidential candidate that would be prone to terfing out I feel like it would be her.
No. 2282428
>>2282402i agree,
nonny. i'm really glad that she was able to send an audio, and that most of our neighbors were awake and everyone could run to help her because this could've ended terribly. whenever i'm mad and fatalistic about this crime wave, i think that at least i live around decent people who still care and you can count on
No. 2282431
>>2282422Doubt. She was hard hard core pro-tranny. I'm as much for the next female pres as the next
nonnie but she was not based
No. 2282434
I miss my body, I still cannot get used to this new form, it's so uncanny and painful. I've lost count on how many times I wished to heal, there's clothes sitting at my wardrobe, new and unworn, because they don't fit me anymore. It's starting to feel like a pipedream, a fantasy. I'll never get outta this situation, am I? I'm never getting my body back, I'm staying this thing forever, it'll take a miracle at this point. It's been so long, nobody should be in such situation for this long, I'm rotting and going crazy, please help me, I can't do this alone, I swear i didn't do this on purpose, i want to be normal too
No. 2282441
>>2282422i hate the meme from coping amerifags that harris was le based girl boss
terf, she lost because she was a handmaiden
No. 2282467
File: 1732921179808.png (16.12 KB, 943x1349, motorway.png)
>Driving home from work today on the deathtrap that is the motorway
>Bus tries to merge into my lane while I'm in front of a massive truck that's right up my ass
>Indicate and merge into free lane, seconds before I'm crushed
>Asshole doesn't see I was about to be a bus truck sandwich with me filling.
>Proceeds to slam on the horn and flash lights at me for the next couple kilometers
While I was on the way back I saw some completely destroyed car on a tow truck with ambulance and fire brigade around. That is my future, I'm going to die on this road going to my shit job.
Diagram provided because I'm not good at dem describing words.
No. 2282471
>>2282441The support for trannies, the libfem dick sucking podcast and the allegations against her husband all indicate that she was. However the opinion that she was still better than Trump is perfectly
valid.
No. 2282583
File: 1732923917656.jpeg (275 KB, 1080x1440, IMG_5678.jpeg)
why does my ex who abused me and treated me like shit get to have a better life than me? its unhealthy but i have a bad problem with stalking his socials and when i look through his posts its all him happy with tons of friends. he actually has twice the amount of friends i have and i believe a lot of them know what he did to me or at least his nature towards the women hes dated (i saw one joking about him being abusive). why does he get to be out there living a happy life while i face the consequences of his actions? people say karma is real but when i look at him and his life i dont believe it
No. 2282648
File: 1732925551461.jpeg (916.49 KB, 1033x1365, 89224EE7-F9CF-496F-8C26-82DFD4…)
>>2282583I’m sorry nona, it’s never easy and even when our abusers face negative consequences it feels like it’s never enough compared to our pain. I’ve been reading picrel in an attempt to heal personally. It’s been somewhat painful seeing my relationship written out but I also think it’s necessary for me to move on. Here’s a Google drive link to the pdf if you’re interested
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Md0FpbmuXhdhpoFF_Ip4ijpiowHZNf3D/view No. 2282676
File: 1732925900302.jpg (35.99 KB, 735x628, societ.jpg)
>Go to job interview at a higher end restaurant
>Wanted to work in the backlines, but interviewer liked my personality
>She said she'd rather me be a hostess
>Asks me questions, me and her click really fast
>Tells me that she'll let me know if I have to apply again to the position
>Shakes my hand and welcomes me to their team
>Says we can squeeze you in the next training and to bring my documents
>Get a call by the hiring manager saying that I do have to reapply and you don't have to re-submit your resume, then call back
>Reapplies and calls back but it's a different person and they just take my name and tell me we'll get back to you
>Get an email 2ish hours later saying that they're going to pursue other applicants for this position
This is just a generated message right…. Right…. I'm going to call back again tomorrow because they said I have a job???
No. 2282722
I hate my roommate. Every time he comes back home from a short trip my mood drops. He's perpetually cranky, i can't discuss or muse about anything without him chiming in with a disdainful tone, trying to outsmart me when i'm more of a knowledge sharer. He chimps out, he can be extremely dramatic and attention seeking, it's not even conscious. He's got a former gifted kid complex and grew up around people who enabled his thirst for attention since forever. He shouts and punches things because of chores but doesn't let anyone come close to them. Everyone here is tense because of him. I don't do much anymore when it comes to cleaning because i don't want to be in proximity of a massive male shouting and punching the air. He used to think he was autistic (kek) but i suspect he thinks less of me because i actually am one (snide remarks, always followed by passive retreat). I know i'm not the best roommate myself but i simply refuse to be around agressive people, ffs you're 30, why are you acting like a teenage BPDfag. I wish i could entierely ignore him but every time i'm in the same room as him (usually around dinner) he thinks every grunt, stare and gesture is directed at him. He doesn't react with chimpouts or pathetic displays like your usual BPDtard but you can tell he's extremely alert. Moids are so damn solipsistic, i do not care about your sorry ass. It's fucking exhausting, i didn't leave an abusive home with BPDemons to deal with this BS again. I'm going to try and move out ASAP, i can't take it anymore. I accepted this because of extra low rent + he's related to my nigel and there's a family obligation between them. But i'm not related to him, i'm grateful for his family's treatment of me but that doesn't mean i should put up with his retardation. I've tried to confront him but he always backs out right before it happens, like he tests people with passive agressive gestures (slamming doors in your face, moving your stuff, the list goes on) but if i text him or talk to him to put things to rest he goes 'nothing is wrong' and submissively nods. My god, what a retard. What an absolute retard. To hell with him, i'm done with trying to see the whole picture. I was grateful for the fact he does 90% of chores but i'd rather live in a pigsty, completely alone, than deal with a bitchy male. Life is too short to tolerate living with people you can't stand.
Edit to add context (yeah, it's really long already kekkk): another layer to my annoyance is how my nigel has to placate him all the time. It's always been like this, he wants to break out but he's been ordered to stay around him like he's a nurse or something (if you couldn't tell, the roommate is ill). He was neglected in favor of my retarded roommate because he was muh high IQ sensitive flower who needs to have a constant adult presence to feel alright. He told me about a core memory from his childhood was laying down in silence, listening to my roommate's histrionics and the adults tending to him while he was alone, as usual. I don't know why it upsets me so much but living with them, i can feel the weight of this memory, the fact someone can be this coddled to the detriment of others. This is completely alien to how i was raised with my siblings so i have very little patience for this 'best boy' complex shit. Both me and my roommate are the oldest and i would have never, ever gotten away with what he does and gets.
No. 2282742
File: 1732927110638.gif (5.01 MB, 493x410, blokc.gif)
I am just feeling very very hurt about my ex cheating, I mean I feel stupid. He went on tinder and swiped right on everyone, he admitted, he tried fucking troons and actual obese ball shaped women. He was like literally ferally horny for anything that moved, and I AM THE ONE WHO LIVED WITH HIM AND ALMOST MARRIED HIM. My pride is totally hurt. I cannot believe I used to beg for him to pay attention to me. I also cn't believe I used to think we were making love. I was just another thing, this sounds shitty of me to say, but like, why did he cheat on me with such fugly girls? My ego is crushed.
No. 2282963
File: 1732929998268.jpg (130.4 KB, 1079x1273, ksh ksh ksh.jpg)
I hate when people try to "figure [me] out". Makes me feel like I have an obligation to be more interesting when there's nothing much to me besides just wanting to enjoy my time here on this earth doing things I like. The curse of being nice and not minding being social every now and then…
No. 2283030
File: 1732930933931.jpeg (128.81 KB, 789x1100, GR4_5e6a8AA76z-.jpeg)
I took a week break from drawing (because I don't like drawing or doing anything much at all on my period) and now I feel like I just can't draw anything good. I feel like I was not only doing better a week ago, but also having more fun. Now I'm getting anxious and heart beating a little fast when working on new drawing, what the hell.
No. 2283231
My parents are visiting for Thanksgiving and are both still here, they were hungry and didn't want the leftovers so I went out and got subs. They didn't have what my dad wanted so I got him turkey sub. Came back, said what happened. Dad took a bite, then shook his head and put it down and slammed his fist, said "how could you get me turkey, we JUST HAD TURKEY" and then I asked if it was bad, and he just shook his head and didn't respond, i asked again, he said "my appetite is ruined" and rolled the sandwich up back in it's wrapper. Mum got involved, which made him more pissed and he stormed off, then my mother began doting and asked if I had childhood trauma from him, which I do not but it made me a bit uncomfortable. I love them but jfc it's retarded, it was literally a turkey sub, he didn't even pay for it. My socially battery is done and I have to spend a week with in-laws once they leave.
No. 2283380
My parent's bought their house for $70,000 thirty years ago. I still live with them because my mom's health is really bad and for some reason the housing market got astronomically fucked. I just saw a listing online for a house a couple away from mine, being sold for $3,000,000. I really honestly thought growing up I would be able to live close to my parents, that was my dream. The exact house that is going for that much, I remember telling my parent's as a young girl that it was my dream home and I was going to live there one day. I really can not believe how away from reality that has become so recently. I'm heartbroken that owning a home is going to mean moving very very far away from here, from my parents. I don't even know if I can afford the whole state now, the housing here is that fucked. How did my neighborhood get this way? We are still the same class, yet our neighbors are slowly becoming the upper class. Why did they all move here? Why do they even want to be here around us? I'm just upset nonas. Apologies if anyone saw me post this in the wrong thread, I accidentally thought I was in the vent thread when I did that
No. 2283555
>>2271853Yeah it can be a lot easier said than done. It’s not always omg he cheated! I’m leaving! Sometimes you’re old, no job, and really you’re there and you’re stuck. The economy sucks ass, jobs suck ass, job market sucks ass, and you (as in me) are lazy and suck ass. Family sucks, no friends, and realistically, woman don’t make money compared to men. Unless we outdo them 10 fold. It’s just shitty because I know I’m in a social structure that puts me in this place, I put myself in this place, and I’m not a strong women that’s super smart and can get myself anywhere. I never thought I would be in this place either. My only saving grace, is that I refuse to reproduce. But yeah, I was just bitching. But also, it’s kind of hard to find a way out. Catch 22, I guess.
No. 2283584
>>2283541I'm muslim (still). Trust me I know how tense father daughter relationships can be in our world (even though me and my dad are friendly). I'm sorry you don't feel loved by him nonna. Can I ask what exactly he did that was shitty to you? Did he ever abuse you? Or did you leave islam and that set him off? My cousin and her dad have the same issue, and her dad disowned her for it. Her dad (my uncle) tells me he's so hostile because he doesn't want to endorse leaving the religion. To him, her leaving is a one way ticket to hell, and he doesn't want her to go to hell.
That's no excuse to be an ass to your daughter (though in their case she was also an ass to him). I'm just trying to offer a different perspective. Maybe he loves you so much more than he lets on, but is just mad at your choices and or doesn't want you to think you leaving the religion is okay. I would just give him the shortest answers possible and find reasons to leave the room often. Say you're not feeling well and need to lie down. Stay safe and be happy
No. 2283677
>>2283673Anon I want you to know, as bad as that is, you are not as embarrassing as me. I almost typed out the entire thing but I realized I am not going to post such an embarrassing mess even when anonymous because it's just
that bad. You are good, just don't do it again kek. Block him.
No. 2283779
File: 1732969810178.jpg (1.17 MB, 1064x1345, article04_1064x.jpg)
One of my aunts has slowly transformed from just messy into a delusional hoarder with a shopping addiction. It hurts to watch. Her home is 1200 square feet of wall to wall junk with goat trails, only 1 available chair in the whole house. She recently complained about how she bought a full size artificial Christmas tree, but my uncle wouldn't let her set it up. He isn't preventing anything. There's literally no place to put a Christmas tree. There was no reason to buy a tree with her house in its current state. I also have lifetime depression and fatigue, so I know that is probably part of the problem, but why be buying shit like that? It just makes your life worse. The boxed tree is just 6 square feet more shit that her family has to dodge every single day.
No. 2283782
I hate myself so much. I know my issues are completely in my head. It doesn't matter if someone compliments me, I'll think that person is wrong they don't know the truth. That I'm useless, worthless, waste of space. I felt like this even as a kid and my life has been years and years of trying to hide it and pretend things are fine. They're not fine, I dont know what to anymore and I'm scared everyone will find out. I don't see any worth on what I do, no matter if people praise it or not. I'm disgusted by myself.
I wished I could be a sentient uncorporal being, without shape and form. That I could do all the things I love doing without the crushing reality they were made by me. When I'm just learning and creating, things feel good, it's when it hits me that it was made by me, that I resent it. I always wipe everything, delete accounts, delete emails. As soon as there's a shape of myself forming I want to die, I'm embarrassed and disgusted. Even this post makes me angry and I'm sorry for even posting this.
No. 2283785
File: 1732970753165.png (2.16 MB, 968x948, IMG_7027.png)
I had a sinus infection recently and I think it's turned into bronchitis
No. 2283790
File: 1732971349371.jpg (43.86 KB, 432x600, c4fae5890330f1fd7a807a8305180c…)
i don't think i'll ever recover from the supposed love of my life cheating on me while i was grieving the loss of my dad who'd passed two months prior, the best and only safe parent i had, my literal best friend.
it just makes me feel miserable. because i've done a lot of good in my life, i've not been perfect, but i try my best put good back into the world. even when i grieved i kept it private and kept it together to avoid dumping shit onto my friends and loved ones.
unfortunately my stupidity and naivete will always bite me in the ass because i'm a fucking idiot who assumes the best of people until they show me otherwise.
i hate it. i wish i could be jaded and protect myself better. i need to smarten the fuck up. i self-sacrifice to the point of detriment and i'm too trusting.
No. 2283830
>>2283825I'm talking about those spaces online that claim to be radfem but are just a retarded echo chamber for god knows what. Female abusers often get defended by them because "they were probably just influenced by men" as if that nullifies the trauma they caused. I don't even know what radfem means anymore because it can range from anons on this site all the way to twitter 13yos who think "
femcel" is the new aesthetic
No. 2283934
File: 1732978074523.jpeg (311 KB, 1542x2048, IMG_5477.jpeg)
My online friend isn't online. I am so bored.
No. 2283951
>>2283596so just curious, is there any reason you still have to see him? he was literally
abusive to you anon…is it not possible to not have a relationship with him anymore?
No. 2283954
File: 1732978940653.jpg (26.2 KB, 700x483, 5273062720521.jpg)
My best friend is both a sore loser and a sore winner and it makes me not want to play with him anymore. He actually sulked the one time I beat him in a race on this farming game and gets downright insufferable if the computer beats him at anything. The rest of the time he's actually fine, almost decent on moid standards, but competition makes testosterone flood his dumbass brain.
No. 2283968
>>2283782why do you hate yourself so much?
you're the only one you're gonna be with for life so you should try to learn to love yourself. you deserve to take up space just as much as anyone else does, others are not more special than you for whatever reason, they all have flaws and low self esteem too probably.
No. 2284092
File: 1732989265404.png (395.04 KB, 680x529, IMG_0026.png)
Went to boyfriends house for thanksgiving, his sister reeked so bad I couldn’t finish dinner. I tell him this the day after and he tells me he told her to shower and I guess she didn’t.
No she’s not disabled or 12, she’s a 30 year old stoner
No. 2284114
>>2283848He intentionally risked and infected you guys against your knowledge, that's illegal in many places. I understand if you don't want to go full legal on his ass but at the very least you should make him pay for everything the treatments include, including gas used to go to the store and time taken off work etc. He is responsible for it, and if he refuses he's no longer welcome to ever stay with you. Oh and of course make him pay rent for staying there and for the groceries of the food he's eaten. He doesn't live there, anything he's taken is legally stealing.
If you can get him admitting to it written in text as proof that could be held against him in court or as a threat of taking it to court. Also make sure to go cough directly on him any time you're sick.
No. 2284152
>>2284086Idk, maybe she has had a problem with men so she takes out her feelings on drawings?
I think it's not as much of an issue if it's completely fictional, unless she abuses the men in her life maybe?
No. 2284190
File: 1732992770629.jpg (45.4 KB, 1079x1055, 1000010298.jpg)
I hate my male housemates so much. They're noisy, they slam doors, they leave their beard hair on the sink, they blow their noses and piss in the shower. My room is right next to the kitchen and right now one of my housemates has a few male guests, they sit and drink in the kitchen, and they talk and laugh so loudly. Why are men so loud? Why do they think they're so important everyone has to listen to them? And one of them, who has a room above mine, often wakes me up with his loud music, with bass blasting so loud my walls shake (he was a nuisance for other people too so he was already warned by the landlord to tone it down, so lets see how long it will take for him to blast this shit again). If it wasn't for the housing crisis in my country I would be fucking moving out immedietely. I'm an autist and I can't sleep if I don't have total silence. Living in almost constant noise for 3 years and being woken up so often basically traumatized me. Everytime when I can sleep somewhere else, like at my aunt's house, even though it's objectivelly quiet, I'm afraid to go to sleep because I have this subconscious fear that something will wake me up. I've been sleeping only 5 hours per day for the last 3 weeks and I feel like a zombie. Sometimes I break down and cry at random moments because my brain is so tired
No. 2284194
File: 1732992960220.jpg (153.63 KB, 1080x1079, 20241119_172408.jpg)
I think my aunt posts here, I fell in love with my best friend and have no idea how to confess or if I should even attempt to in the first place, and now I only have a day to memorize 10 pages of lines for a play because I'm such a fucking idiot procrastinator
No. 2284213
>>2283963Some women's manhate is really just misanthropy, mental illness and frustration.
>wtf was her logic on that? I'm really guessing there but my tinfoil is they resent men for their perceived superiority while joining on woman-hate because they're envious of their position. It's not really out of feminism or concern for women
>>2284086It's not hypocritical, it's very human.
No. 2284277
File: 1732997864483.jpg (25.47 KB, 474x266, th-1832720250.jpg)
I wanna really finish playing some vidya but I've been so burnt out lately and I'm too tired to even have fun
No. 2284300
>>2284261last time I tried keeping one of the family cats inside my bedroom overnight, it peed all over the sheets
never made that mistake again
No. 2284312
I finally decided to go to a mall where there are a lot of good shops, but the only tram that goes there is absolutely horrendous, every time. I guess because it goes through a bad area. I get on and it's packed, to be expected. But on the side of my seat a guy was standing there gesticulating wildly that he really could've elbowed me in the head, I use dmy backpack as a sort of buffer between us. Then the guy sitting next to me answered his phone (talking super loud ofc) and I realised he had BAD breath. I was fully covering my mouth and nose with my hand, then eventually my jacket collar because it smelled like straight up shit. Unfortunately I couldn't lean away from him because of the guy moving unpredictably on the other side of me. Some people get off so I move to stand near the door, I look back and I see the gesticulating guy is full blown mental illness having a fight with an imaginary person, punching the air and everything. What. The Fuck.
Then on the way back there was a teen girl who was playing with matches ON THE TRAM and an adult man started arguing with her to stop, so then she started getting loud and confrontational. What the fuck ghetto shit is that? Who, WHO is playing with matches of all things in this day and age??? Her phone was right there, why the fuck was she playing with matches oh my godddddd I'm never doing it again. It's not worth it.
No. 2284331
File: 1733000920552.gif (882.81 KB, 300x391, 1727591726956339.gif)
I'm pretty sure people I work with think I'm thick because of my accent. It's 2024 and I have a masters ffs.
No. 2284353
>>2283067Keeping them waiting seems like a good choice. If he sees you as nothing but a sex object, sooner or later he's going to give up if he sees he can't use your body.
Sucks that you had to waste time on him when you could've looked for someone else, though.
No. 2284408
File: 1733006459011.jpg (54.34 KB, 300x298, 1710549279779.jpg)
there are white tourists in my small town trying to pickup women….its so fucking over i want these sexpests out of here
No. 2284460
>>2283959It's weird how they started increasing in size from PS4 onwards. If you include the PSX one with analogue sticks, then they stayed the same size for three generations.
I always preferred PS ones over Xbox's because of their smaller size. But Dualsense is about the same size as Xbox ones.
I guess this is to cram more technology inside, but it's weird they made it that much bigger.
No. 2284480
Are latinos and spaniards all mentally ill, retarded, or generally less intelligent than other races? They are consistently the only group of people who, arriving at a hotel, will just speak in spanish. "Hello, welcome!" - "hola!". "What's the name of your reservation?" - "tenemos una reserva-…." listen bitch. Are you aware I'm speaking to you in a different language? Are you not grasping that I don't speak spanish? I don't care that you don't speak english, we'll use a translator, it's not a problem. But why do you confidently just start speaking in spanish? Wouldn't it make more sense to start with "hablas espanol?" "No ablo ingles". Wouldn't that be more logical?
My wet dream is to just answer in latvian and keep speaking in it to them until they gain consciousness and think "hold on! We are having a communication issue here!"
Fucking RETARDS! It's only them, too. only, EXCLUSIVELY them. Blacks, whites, asians, indians will either speak in english or apologize / use a translator / ask if i speak their language first. Two years working in different hotels, it's just them. Why? I don't even care why I'm just here to vent. What if I just kept talking in English until they asked to use a translator instead of me doing it directly? I want to make them uncomfortable. It feels so arrogant. How can you go to a foreign country where spanish is NOT spoken and expect people there to speak it? B-but muricans do it all the time!! Yeah that's because nearly every breathing creature speaks english, and it is required to know to work at reception. But why is it only them is my question. Why only them? Shoutout to the korean cuties who always have google translate ready. Higher iq i guess.(racebait)
No. 2284550
File: 1733015104803.jpg (39.39 KB, 860x860, 1000002868.jpg)
>>2284521Please don't fret. It looks intimidating but it's not so bad. It's just a lot of info to take in at first. I'm glad you found out while she's young. Some advice: check your labels even if the box claims it's gluten free. Some places use the same equipment that gluten was on so possible cross contamination. Spices can contain gluten too so just double check. As for soy sauce, I use picrel. Just take it a day at a time. You got this.
No. 2284553
>>2284510You don't have to exercise to lose weight. It all comes down to burning more calories than you absorb. If you eat very little, you're naturally going to burn more calories than you eat and thus lose weight.
It's best to eat low calories yet very satiating food so you don't feel hungry all the time.
I think tofu is good for weight loss. It's low in calories, if you cook it well, it tastes almost like chicken, and you won't feel hungry for quite a while after making a dish with it. Sometimes I'd fry a brick of it with some veggies and would not feel hungry for most of the day.
No. 2284555
>>2284521What
>>2284550 said, and over time it'll become second nature to you to know what she can and can't have through looking at enough labels. I was in the same situation as your daughter and diagnosed young and now I just know if I can have something or not without really needing to check the label. One thing I can suggest is that you just start cooking gluten free for everyone in the house (don't know what the rest of your family is like), it doesn't make much sense to cook separate meals for her unless you have to.
No. 2284560
>>2284510I went from chubby chub chub to anachan by eating buldak ramen, a salad, and coffee daily . Some days I would eat avocado toast with a poached egg instead of the ramen.
It was honestly very enjoyable after the first week of hell (cause I have a food addiction) I’m not Anachan skinny anymore (because I realized how ugly I looked at that weight), but I’ve kept the weight off for a year now.
No. 2284642
>>2284583I found some group by a complete accident, and still it took me months to even start talking to anyone.
I really wish I wasn't living my life on hard mode. I feel like things that come naturally to everyone are often impossible tasks to me.
No. 2284774
File: 1733023612683.jpg (227.33 KB, 720x718, ChLzcNy.jpg)
I just want to go to sleep and not wake up tomorrow. I dont enjoy anything in life anymore and it feels painful to exist. I always feel so tired and have nothing to hope for. I am so deeply miserable and it feels like nothing good or beneficial ever drifts my way. I'm tired of fighting and trying to force something that was never working out for me anyways. I just want to die.
No. 2284958
Watching interior design youtube videos were at first fascinating and inspiring, then little by little I got pissed off when I realize that nearly all of it is impossible to achieve. Im working and saving up, so Im living with family for the foreseeable future, and my unemployed older brother (Ill call him B) lives here too.
Walk out into the hallway? Theres tons of B's clothes hanging up. Watch out a random coat hanger doesn't poke you when you wake up for work in the early mornings! The hall cabinet is filled with B's underwear and socks. There's "no room" in his pigsty den that he won't sort through. Of course, mommy does his laundry for him on demand, and hangs it up there. Mom sees nothing wrong with this clutter, and Im a meeeean person for wanting a clear hallway.
B stacks empty soap and toothpaste boxes in the bathroom (he used to save empty shaving cans in his closet, until mom had to tell him to stop, due to a fire hazard). After mom or I move his empty boxes into the recycling, B slowly starts this habit again. The bathroom has a hole in the floor, part of the wall was taken down for "renovations" that never happen, but there are slats of wood still up so not exposed. Mom had to cut a large garbage bag and duct tape it to block the water damage/mold that would happen, B was too useless to even do that! B and mom think our senior Dad, who works full time 7 days a week, is supposed to do the renovations, not B. They trash talk Dad behind his back about it. I worry about B seeing me piss or shower due to these small nail holes on the bathroom wall against his room's wall, but I remember that his wall is covered in clutter, so probably can't see me anyway.
Walk into the living/dining area? There's stacks of boxes to the ceiling, large metal cabinets B likes to slam at all hours of the day/night, truck parts, stuff you'd find in a garage. B thinks Dad should build him a garage, and has been waiting for 10+ years instead of making one himself. Meantime, B built a giant ugly truck canopy that shades out a large portion of our garden. I wanted to paint this room, HAH! That would require king shit (B) to move his stuff, and that's meeean according to him and mom.
B also wears shoes that he wears outside throughout the house, so if I were to indulge and enjoy the cleanliness of SOMETHING ie. the floors, B will spread more filth by walking with his shoes all over the freshly cleaned floors. Is it worth it? Last time, B impatiently expected me to lift the floor steaming machine to move out of HIS way, then he walked on top of the freshly cleaned area.
B also changes his shoes every time before he goes into his room, putting on other shoes for his own room, as if his own pigsty shouldn't be subjected to the same grossness he spreads throughout the house. B changes his shoes right near the bathroom door, which is jarring as he does this quite often. There's no point in the day I can comfortably pee or shower without the sound of rushed stomping (B) going closer to the bathroom door, and him changing shoes, right near the door. B used to really enjoy harassing me everytime I used the bathroom, pointing out to everyone that I'm in there again and he needs in there, when there was an empty one available (but that one is "too cold" for B).
So, I get pissed off imagining what could be a B-free space, and the added stress that most men (not Dad, he's helpful) bring to a home.
No. 2284961
>>2284958To add:
While heating up lunch, I set my plate out. Big mistake. B just HAD to enter the kitchen after he spent hours doing nothing hanging around. B deliberately stood near/over my plate, so his hairy arms are over top of my plate, laughs/talks with spit coming out and scratches his head.
B starts telling Mom & I about a comment section being full of stupid people, ie. who don't share his views. B said someone warned another person about a sexual predator, and laughed loud as if it was funny and called it stupid as if it's not true (he is sexist against women, thinks males are always innocent). I can't bear to listen to B. I changed plates, now I worry he'll whine to mommy about it because I'm meeeean for thinking he's gross, and I'll have to defend my actions which would be ridiculous. (Once, I made a pizza from scratch, and B found a flea on his sock, and held it away from himself, over top of my pizza like "Eww mom what do I do?" Mom and B made me out to be a big meanie weanie hurting his feelings, shaming me, because I asked him not to put fleas near my pizza I was making from scratch!)
Then B tells a REALLY FUNNY dream that he was going to wash the bathroom wall, and just stood there laughing for no reason like Peter Griffin. B said this was caused by watching so much Family Guy the day before. Cue forced laughter! I'm no super genius, but I could feel my IQ drop.
This was all just from 1 interaction, with my food prep to intentionally shorten the amount of time I'd be stuck being around B.
No. 2284995
File: 1733038737193.jpg (56.59 KB, 671x393, ant farm.JPG)
>>2284958sorry anon. i'm also an adult living at home to save, and i also have a useless brother living here too (younger in my case) who is absolutely disgusting and babied by my parents. I was going to be set to move out in about two years, but due to government budget cuts, I lost my government contract job and can't find anything that pays as well. I don't know how long I will have to stay here but it looks like i will be near 30 unfortunately. I really sit and wonder sometimes what even is the point of living when this is my life, and all i have to look forward to is the cheapest possible town home with no windows that i will only be able to scrape together the money for by the time i'm 30. If you are single and don't have dual income, you can't afford anything in life around here. When I'm not working my free time melts away since i have nothing to do other than sleep through it. I have moments where i think, what would my child self think if she knew that this was what life was going to be? If it weren't for my parents i would self destruct gleefully, i'm held hostage in life by the people who created me. gotta perform my little ant farm tasks to please them.
No. 2285057
File: 1733046326471.jpeg (41.87 KB, 581x528, IMG_3798.jpeg)
Having one of those nights where the only thing keeping me here is knowing that I can’t have my nephews only know me as the auntie who topped herself. They always say it’ll get better but they never say when.
No. 2285067
File: 1733046864936.jpg (264.17 KB, 700x1677, Celebrity aging Mark Ruffalo a…)
How do some people manage to look attractive all their lives? Not just when they are 20 but when they are 60 too? It cannot be surgeries and such, because then every boomer would be able to?
No. 2285081
>>2285057struggle on,
nonnie. whatever suffering you have had to bear up to this point is already past, it can only act on you in the present through memory. any future suffering yet to be borne can only act on you in the present through your anticipation of it. if you can carve out for yourself a place of pure base existence in the present— consciousness without thought—like the moment between wakefulness and sleep, may you find solace there.
No. 2285094
File: 1733049364444.jpg (49.33 KB, 674x674, welp.jpg)
Welp, I've been fired. Don't come back, just drop the laptop in and sayonara. I expected it to happen but I was hoping to stick it out till January.
I don't really care, it's been in the post for a while, but I feel bad for HR having to work on a Sunday to email me.
No. 2285153
File: 1733057114424.gif (151.04 KB, 640x640, shinji-chair.gif)
It's not so much I think I'm a lesbian, but I genuinely think I would only feel truly emotionally, sexually and mentally fulfilled by being with a woman and it kills me inside to think about. Every time I try to cuddle up and love a man I feel like I'm trying to feel something that just isn't there
No. 2285182
File: 1733061254528.gif (2.69 MB, 540x540, pop-pop.gif)
Backing up my old photos so they can live forever in the cloud and jfc what was I thinking? I can't believe I went out like that with zero self awareness.
I'm also coming to terms that me in a few years is going to look back on me now and feel the same level of cringeness. Don't do it bitch, I'll start smoking and give us both lung cancer.
No. 2285196
File: 1733062997701.jpeg (207.83 KB, 828x913, IMG_3144.jpeg)
I’ve already cut them off but I’m embarrassed to realize that all of my friends were either colorist or just straight up racist. I’m so triggered because I cut them off nicely when I should’ve rained hellfire. I think I was just in denial about how blatant racism is. But it’s so obvious looking back they all looked down on me as their mono racial token. Even my black girl bestie looked down on me because she looked racially ambiguous and I didn’t . The nonblacks were just straight up racist towards the end. That’s so creepy to have people look down on you and then call you their best friend. Weirdos. The gag is I’ve always considered myself to be my very best friend. I’m just mad because I gave those people great resources and advice when it came to fashion, music and just the arts in general. But because my skin tone didn’t match my hobbies they gaslighted me into calling them strange while stealing my personality years later kek. It’s fine I’ll have the last laugh. I always do
No. 2285204
>>2285196insecure people are extremely fucking racist, don't let them fool you. any reason to feel superior over someone else is good reason.
they suffer more than you think.
No. 2285208
>>2285201Are you African nonna? I am and it’s crazy how entitled relatives all are when one lives abroad especially.
My mom paid for my cousin’s schools fees because my aunt was a retard who was busy chasing men and shitting kids she couldn’t take care of (she even got with a scrote who has HIV). My mom stopped paying and only told her she was only paying for this one girl , not the other children (who are still small) and the bitch acted ungrateful and stopped speaking to my mom kek.
No. 2285215
File: 1733064314631.jpg (74.77 KB, 680x680, 2fa119a0fb75e8ea30e1404d7187e6…)
Fanny/Null_backdoorho used to be one of my favorite cows but after being exposed to even more misogyny from the internet, real life and even ex friends, I can't stomach even her "normal" sfw art anymore. Her and other women's pickmeism disgusts and upsets me too much. Ah well, I'll just go on hoping one day she gets exposed as the racist pickme she is and then her supporters start waking p to how retarded her beliefs are.
No. 2285368
>>2285241Nothing confirmed as the reason but I took mdma at the work xmas party on Friday and got really messy. I've been spiralling since early summer though so it might be a cumulative thing.
Actions meet consequences
No. 2285457
File: 1733076804281.jpg (61.97 KB, 422x750, 1000028933.jpg)
You can always tell when my mother is in a bad mood because she starts giving out the most passive aggressive and backhanded "compliments" out of nowhere lmao. She has a good reason to be mad but still, like, is that necessary
No. 2285501
File: 1733078923487.jpg (346.33 KB, 1080x1377, how do i hit him.jpg)
long distance talking stage scrote joked about me coming to his house and cooking him food. who the fuck do you think you are. you're supposed to cook for your guests not vice versa. i'll kill you
No. 2285694
>>2285196Give me your strength. My friends of 8+ years made fun of me when I wore my hair in micro braids. They mocked how my scalp was visible between braids and that I looked ugly.
I truly loved how it looked, but cut my hair off to appease them. They mocked the texture afterwards. I'm desperate for affection and they've stuck around lingest, calling me "based but black". I suck at socializing offline. This is all I have and I'm afraid to move on.
No. 2285695
>>2285640>that's obviously the reason? Eh I've done other stuff, that's why I'm not sure it's exactly this. I've shown up to work tipsy a few times. I got the mdma from some grads and I don't think it was just that otherwise they'd be dropped too especially since they're on recent hire probation. I think I might've took a swing at someone but you don't usually black out on mdma so I'm not sure.
>why would you do that?I can list off excuses but in reality I'm a very sad fuck up. Top to bottom. Sad jobless nonna, not a bit of serotonin in her brain, drinking wine and being sad. Saying she's sad for sympathy. Mentioning she wants sympathy so she doesn't get it, because she shouldn't
No. 2285696
File: 1733086903248.jpg (43.17 KB, 526x526, e9aca10ae86809d9dd06dc872eaf86…)
i am such a retard fml. my dad needed money so i sent him 50 without realizing i wouldn't get my paycheck the normal day bc of the holidays. fortunately i should be able to hold off my meds for a week and am fine with food & other stuff, but reeeeeee why am i so fucking retarded. also my dog got into my friend's cat food when i was with her for thanksgiving and yacked on my bed
No. 2285703
>>2285662it is an illness that has no external signs or symptoms, but the mechanisms and timeline of healing are well-understood. even if she did have this illness for real, she is WAY past-due for her recovery.
i think she is stressed about school, and the illness is her explanation for why she isn't achieving at the level she expected. i try to talk to her about school, her goals, her recovery, and she spergs out. i haven't found the right way to tackle the subjects yet.
my other friends are telling me to just drop her if she acts like this, but i just want to shout into the sky about my friend being a dumbass for 20 minutes before i go back and try again. even typing this out made me feel better. ty anon.
No. 2285761
File: 1733090132909.png (482.63 KB, 864x1202, 1733087038258110.png)
sigh. when will it end. it only gets worse.
No. 2285795
>>2285741there's never a "right" way to have anorexia. anons on here will say you're an autopedophilic whore, an attention seeker, too fat to
actually have AN, and/or a faker. Don't get me wrong: there are plenty of pro-ana cows that deserve to be laughed at, but it's startling to come to the realization that other women truly don't understand that the illness is most often rooted in something far deeper than vanity or moid-pandering.
No. 2285866
File: 1733093876573.jpg (11.34 KB, 236x333, 1000010344.jpg)
It makes me sad that I will never date a pretty boy. Moids are pretty only in their teens and early 20s, then it's never the same. As a teen and early 20s woman I was an extremely insecure NEET virgin and I was never as dolled up as the girls those boys used to date. I didn't go out, I didn't exist. And now, when I can finally afford all the stuff I need to be pretty and I'm not as afraid to go outside, I'm too old. I'm not 30 yet, but close. Sure, some women date younger men but I never saw them with those tik tok kind of pretty boys. And even if, those boys usually only use older women for sex and they don't form long term monogamic relationships with them. That's what I think at least. I'm just extremely bitter that I never went through that teen/early 20s puppy love phase with a very cute boy. I will never have this. It ended before it began.
No. 2285911
File: 1733095983020.jpeg (107.98 KB, 735x679, IMG_3216.jpeg)
I’m not going to have a future. I’m probably going to work mediocre jobs for the rest of my life. I’m still unemployed and nobody is hiring. Prices keep rising. I seriously want to die, this isn’t a plea for help because I know nobody can help me and nobody wants to. I’m not going to beat the impossible or triumph over this, I just wish for once in people’s lives to actually provide me decent advice and that advice is on how to kill myself with minimal pain and the body can be easily found and disposed of. I don’t really want my guts blown on a wall or my decaying body fused inside of furniture so I was wondering if it would be possible to do it outside? If anyone even care sneaking to read or respond to this do not try to talk me out of this, there’s nothing that can be rationally done because my life has been over before it’s begin and I’m not going to go through more struggling, stress and health problems just for some possible “betterment” that could happen in my life, it’s not rational to base your ideas off wishful thinking. I need some good suicide links now, there used to be a good website for this but it unfortunately got taken down sanctioned-suicide.org but please provide any links you have, I know you don’t want to get banned if you share them but I’m tired of this and I can’t live anymore.
No. 2285927
File: 1733096615642.jpg (9.95 KB, 355x351, 00a2512606a9e7624651e163d57a39…)
>have nausea and feel bloated
>don't anything for a day
>try to eat a small thing next day just to stop the hunger
>instant diarrhea
No. 2285957
Low-key I wish I was challenged more by my major in college. I so do not see myself going into teaching sociology or into academia, and the workload that my course has is a joke and my profs suck. Besides, all the terminology and concepts just seem so fake and people are still arguing over what sociologists should study. Im only 21 and like 2 years into the course but I still feel like it's too late to take up something radically different.
I know I can study hard. If I know it's not wibbly wobbly abstract stuff, I know I'll bust my ass learning something useful and fun. But idk, getting a chemistry degree as a second one seems so dumb. Ugh.
>>2285930Being on here automatically exempts you from normie status.
No. 2285968
>>2285866That depends on an individual. I'm convinced that some people just age faster. Some guys start balding in their teens and have the skin condition of a 60-year-old, while some get asked for ID well into their late 30s.
In high school, I knew one guy who looked like George Costanza.
>I was an extremely insecure NEET virginWell, I'm still here. Although I haven't been a neet for long.
>I'm just extremely bitter that I never went through that teen/early 20s puppy love phaseOn one hand, I feel the same way, but on the other, It seems that this whole teen love thing is overrated.
From what I remember, people at that age would go through like 8 relationships in one month. Teen "love" seems empty and meaningless
No. 2286006
>>2285904Same. At least, I think It's good that we understand the reason behind it.
>>2285909That's the thing. They don't "do" anything, they just are.
No. 2286015
File: 1733101729570.jpg (32.65 KB, 750x601, 1687239662769.jpg)
i wish i could quit my shitty wagie job and be a full time student, but i dont get govt benefits and need the money. it's so thankless and draining and i can't find anything better. i hate my shitty fat cunt of a manager and i hate my coworkers, everyone who was good quit and now we have a bunch of new hires who dont speak the language and don't speak english and don't know what to do because no one can really train them thanks to the language barrier. and our manager thinks yelling "learn [insert language]!!" is changing anything. bitch why did you fucking hire them then. i wanna kms. this takes away too much of the time i need to study and is just making me drag this degree out. i'm so jealous of the students who get funded by their parents. i'm so tired. and now this job is giving me health problems too and i just feel like i can't do this any longer.
also our new boss said we're not getting a christmas party this year because "he doesn't celebrate christmas". half of your employees are muslims and they still go to the christmas party because it's fun and FREE FOOD, that's the entire point, don't tell us these shitty excuses and just say you're cheap!!!
No. 2286038
File: 1733104014171.jpg (68.23 KB, 538x680, c555ab024a8ade8798db4ee9cdc808…)
Missed the Punxnkisses drop. I'm so sad. At least I get to save the money on the items + shipping, I guess.
No. 2286053
File: 1733105373257.png (166.41 KB, 610x593, FsSeIEmaMAAYEuI.png)
I love animals, I just can't have ones like geckos showing up in my house free-roaming and uninvited. It's giving me heart attacks. I can't touch them, I can't go near them. I'd never hurt one, but I want nothing to do with them. Please stop showing up, I can't live with you running around and popping up out of nowhere. I can't live in this country. I'm sorry so many of you were killed, and I'm sorry I'm so frightened, but please. Don't come here. Just stay outside. Maybe find a human who adores reptiles and wants pet geckos, and live happily in their house, don't sneak around mine. I just can't take it anymore. My home isn't a safe space for every single species. The castle doctrine stays. I'm begging.
No. 2286069
File: 1733106616829.jpeg (96.96 KB, 736x672, IMG_6157.jpeg)
I feel like such an asshole right now because of my anger towards my suicidal friend. I know this anger comes from fear and helplessness and confusion but still. I'm pissed off and don't know what to say or do. Like do I need to call a wellness check? People get so upset when you take their threats seriously. I know, I've been the bitch suibaiting so hard it gets my ass sectioned. I dont want to do that to my friend because the hospitals in her area are dogshit and will only make her worse (according to her). But if that's the difference between her living and dying then wtf else am i supposed to do? All her problems have solutions. She's just having a tough week. Honestly a tough life overall but she's survived this far, what's a little more??? But the other issue is that I actually am death positive and pro suicide or whatever. So I think it's her right to die when she wants to. But does she ACTUALLY want to? I'm not convinced. If she's ODing right now and im sending loving and inspiring messages into the void, then idk. I feel like an idiot. I just want her to be happy and reach her potential. Why is that so hard? I want to have more faith. I need to pray or something. I need God to tell me when it's time to call the police because I just really don't know. I'm so scared.
No. 2286083
File: 1733107763516.png (180.56 KB, 515x354, IMG_6569.png)
Found out my relatives long term “boyfriend” (a tif she met in college and has been in a lesbian bed death “relationship” spiral for about a decade now) has gotten bottom surgery and I’m seeing red. They are engaged and have talks of buying a house together and wedding bells and all that. I cannot fucking believe I am going to be dealing with “him” and his bullshit for the foreseeable future.
No. 2286099
File: 1733108355727.png (60.44 KB, 240x213, IMG_6570.png)
>>2286085When it comes to this person she’s unironically one of those trans people that’s alive out of spite, and is too autistic to reject the abject horror that would come with mutilating your genitals. This isn’t ending without some sort of extreme damage to our extended family, which I still love even if they are severely misguided. This tranny is trying to leave an imprint of their sucky existence on my bloodline and I cannot let it happen
No. 2286106
>>2286090When my friend was like this I called an ambulance. It's their own fault for giving you a suicide threat if something does happen to them. What else are you supposed to do? If they don't see how you would call someone in this situation then it's a lost cause.
>Am I an asshole if I don't want to be friends with mentally ill people anymore? It depends more on whether the person knows they're ill and how they choose to involve you with it. Like personally I don't mind a sperg out every now and then if they are ill, but if they try to bait you with suicide threats and then don't reply to you, guilt tripping etc 24/7 then it's not worth it
No. 2286140
>>2286125>I've already given her an ultimatum about getting professional help. She finally agreed to try for it but nothing has happened yet. Idk if something went wrong and she gave up again or what. It doesn't happen overnight, it's good if she is seeing someone and trying to take control of it
>She wouldnt think twice about me when im having problems… Not so good
No. 2286242
My living situation is a bit unique so I don’t want to go into details, I just need to commiserate about irresponsible roommates. Anybody else have experience with a roommate who just expects “someone else” to do it?
>puts dishes in sink and leaves them there, I’m always the one to load and unload the dishwasher or wash things by hand as needed
>takes out trash but doesn’t put a bag back in, lets trash pile up next to it until “someone else” puts in a new bag
>never rotates laundry, let’s laundry sit in washing machine for entire day, leaving me to rotate it for her when I need to do my own load
>doesn’t throw away empty bottles of detergent (we use different ones) but instead let’s them stack up on the washing machine
>doesn’t put clothes in hamper but leaves them all over the floor. Even when I put them in the hamper for her, the situation is back not too long after. I’m serious that there is a perpetual mountain of dirty clothes next to the washer
>dog is untrained and always harassing my pet/drinking their water. I love her dog but he’s her responsibility. I’d adopt him from her but she doesn’t want that. She neglects her animals but you can’t tell her that, she’ll start whining
>I pay a very very low rent so I try not to complain, but she does not have to pay anything at all (her family owns the house)
>leaves crumbs on table and counter, doesn’t wipe them off ever
>uses the vacuum but doesn’t put it back, leaves it in the middle of the hallway until “someone else” puts it away
>huffs and puffs when I’m cleaning the kitchen after work because the noise of the dishes is interfering with her show
>says she’s fine with me turning on the temperature after I ask her if she’d be okay with it, then she talks crap about it behind my back and keeps lowering the thermostat behind my back as well
I could keep going but it’s just driving me nuts. Please someone share your experiences because I think I’m going to explode but I’m so apprehensive to approach her about this because of her emotional response to any sort of confrontation. She also has her whole family on her side and she already badmouths me in a way, so I just don’t want to risk anything but I think I’m reaching my limit.
No. 2286247
>>2286242This is called being a doormat for lazy forever-children. You sound like a people-pleaser that doesn't know how to stand up for herself, no offense. She sounds like an entitled and irresponsible brat. Unfortunately, you don't have the power to change her: she's always gonna be a lazy loser. The best course of action is to move out as soon as possible, until then, stop doing everything. Focus only on your own room, keep that clean, but let the common areas go to shit. You're being taken advantage of, but you're either too nice, or too naïve, to recognize that. Please, for your own sake and your own dignity, look for other places to live and leave this shit show behind you.
>I pay a very very low rent so I try not to complain, but she does not have to pay anything at all (her family owns the house)YOU are paying HER to be HER maid. Let that sink in.
No. 2286368
File: 1733131298263.jpg (339.41 KB, 1500x1051, R (17).jpg)
this is how i feel when i pirate and find cool shit using the internet and reserve image searching, maybe i am le hacker
No. 2286524
>>2286385Watch some old movies from the time she was growing up and copy the way the women act and speak. Then tell her that only the ugliest and most unwanted women talk like that about others.
If you tell her to fuck off in modern terms she'll gloat over
triggering you. If you copy the way she was spoken to when she was younger, she'll take it to heart, even if she's still a spiteful bitch about it. I guarantee that she grew up with a self loathing mom and was criticized 24/7 growing up, throwing those barbs back in her face might make her shut up for a bit.
No. 2286537
File: 1733143957294.jpg (54.44 KB, 400x400, 8d6fd177e56bbf1e1b5666353061f5…)
i'm so thankful i DON'T have the time to play MMOs with my friend anymore because of work and college.
i love her to bits, i've known her for years, but she's so fucking weirdly insecure and it's grating.
she will constantly, and i mean CONSTANTLY, when we're in game, talk about how petite and cute her character is and how the race she plays as is superior because they're small and skinny.
I regret to inform that she is neither small or skinny in person, but i'm not gonna nitpick that because that doesn't make me any better.
she acts like my character is some kind of ugly butch fuck because she isn't a tiny elf. literal constant barrage of nitpicky, catty comments about how my character is dressed. my character's outfit is completely fine and i get a lot of compliments for it.
but again, it's not a big deal to me. because it's a game. these are in-game avatars. this behaviour is insane.
I don't take the game seriously. i spend about an hour or two a week on it collectively at this point.
I logged on today for the first time in months and she's immediately nitpicking me to hell so i logged off.
she's also extremely hung up about people copying her looks in a game that has a relatively limited amount of items you can wear if you're trying to dress 'sexy.' and it's so fucking weird how seriously she takes it. I don't get it.
she's in a server with me and some other girls, i used to post my eye makeup and shit, like everyone else, and whenever i posted she'd just start with "oh my god you're soooo prettyyyy. i'm so uglyyyyy." OVER AND OVER even though i'd ask her to stop because it's pitymongering and weird. I eventually stopped entirely because it made me that uncomfortable.
i love her but she takes the game way too seriously, she's insanely insecure and it's just grating to be around her so i rarely talk to her and avoid her entirely if i'm online.
I think I've outgrown her as a friend and i just need to pull the plug.
No. 2286544
File: 1733144661980.jpg (31.46 KB, 400x400, 1000029103.jpg)
>I regret to inform that she is neither small or skinny in person, but i'm not gonna nitpick that because that doesn't make me any better
Kekkkk anon. MMOfags are either the most chill or weird individuals ever, there's no in-between.
No. 2286548
>>2286537It sounds like you understand your own feelings, but before you pull the plug you should ask her why she's so obsessed with roleplaying as a Disney Mean Girl character in a fantasy game, and maybe directly log off after saying it.
Such a strange internalisation of a system that will never accept her
No. 2286607
File: 1733148257647.webp (17.29 KB, 800x450, Tumblr_l_84905161379266.jpg)
I have had it up to here. I just want to relax
No. 2286667
Tfw it’s already a horrible time in your life and you decide to go on lolcow.farm and the farmhands find your posts and redtext it, everything already feels like shit, your body is always tired, and then your VPN just starts automatically banning itself off the website for no reason. Then someone wants to make you an atrocious pig meal to eat out of full spite. Zero money in the bank and they’re already trying to steal invisible money I don’t have. Somebody end me fucking please just kill me I beg of you
No. 2286712
File: 1733155313932.jpg (17.77 KB, 525x362, b99717d472c886976940d4f1e7f608…)
>Try to talk to more people in my classes
>Naturally, I "click" with weird women, luckily I'm in classes that attract people into nerdy shit
>The people I get along with usually end up being fakebois on T or have some other nonbinary gendie thing going on
>Fun to talk about shared interests but most of them randomly spout dumb political shit and moralfag over nothing
>Realize most of the interesting/funny girls trooned out and are all reading from the same Tumblr Morals handbook
>Realize gendies have me walking on eggshells and self-censoring so it's not even really fun to talk to them for long periods of time let alone form a real friendship outside of classroom chats
Being friendless is literally less annoying
No. 2286733
File: 1733156909176.jpg (113.19 KB, 660x396, axe.jpg)
I chipped the blade of my favourite axe while cutting firewood.
No. 2286734
File: 1733157009823.jpg (103.51 KB, 860x1023, depositphotos_10902088-stock-p…)
I just can't stand this motherfucker. He's OLD and FAT and obsessed with me, literally in what world does he think he has a chance? I feel disrespected that he really thinks he could pull it off. He is literally the human embodiment of picrel and it disgusts me.
No. 2286738
File: 1733157075071.jpeg (125.19 KB, 736x736, 89453218.jpeg)
>There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
>And the shitty people of the world inhabit it
>And it goes by the name of London
Hate London, hate everyone here, hate my job and I hate myself for choosing a career beholden to shitty city life. I wish I could go back in time and slap myself for picking this career but here I am.
No. 2286846
>>2286586I'll e-comfort you
nonnie. It's been 4 hours. Does it still hurt? If so, I hope you get better soon ♥ Be careful next time, and don't let this put you off of exercising.
No. 2286936
File: 1733167178200.png (1.16 MB, 1920x1080, chainsaw-bunny.png)
I don't understand, I still have nightmares about dating my ex. I don't even get these intense nightmares about my ex that abused and raped me. But apparently my brain is really hung up on him, I don't even think about him consciously because I want to forget about how worthless and awful he made me feel about myself during the entire relationship. And every time I've had a nightmare about him a lot of the hurt he caused me comes back. It's been 4,5 years there is nothing to ruminate about and I don't want anything to do with him. So why do I have nightmares where we are dating again? Because even in those dreams I'm looking for a way out. It doesn't make sense.
No. 2286988
File: 1733169473731.gif (922.34 KB, 135x135, tullaluanadesesperada.gif)
today i woke up and my dad told me they called him from the hospital? and they were looking for me, he told them i was in another country (i was asleep kek) because it was time for my "yearly checkup" with a cardiologist, which is weird as fuck cause i haven't seen one since i was maybe six. i'm so scared of checkups and i've avoided them my whole life. where the fuck did they get my dad's number? it doesn't make any sense. they should've called me, i stopped being a minor almost seven years ago.
whatever, i have an appointment on the 10th and i was wondering if it's possible to exaggerate my pectus symptoms more to get free pectus carinatum surgery and put an end to one of my biggest insecurities. now i'm paranoid and feel like throwing up about them seeing me naked which is ridiculous, they have to assess the degree of my DEFORMITY. i get stressed over the dumbest shit. this is a step towards getting the surgery for free, i should be happy
No. 2287045
File: 1733172083153.jpeg (59.45 KB, 480x453, IMG_2184.jpeg)
I’ve been feeling kinda suicidal this year and especially lately and I honestly don’t want to talk about that with anyone from irl. I don’t wanna worry my parents and annoy my friends.
Although, I don’t want to commit suicide tbh, I’m scared of the pain that comes with and I think I don’t really want to die, suicidal ideation isn’t as strong as it was when I had my last attempt 5 years ago. It’s just that I sometimes don’t see anything going for me anymore - same shit, different day kind of thing, I feel so stuck and behind. I’m scared to make a change, I know that I will fail and feel worse, like the other times. I’m scared to make a decision, I’m a perfectionist (sort of, I’m insulting actual perfectionists that do things right, idk what other word I should use). My health kinda felt off too this year, my hair keeps falling off too and feel tired all the time. I want a long break, not suicide, if I really think about it.
I hope I won’t do something reckless until next week when I have blood test appointment, that gives me some hope to keep going kek.
No. 2287048
File: 1733172199778.jpg (Spoiler Image,178.96 KB, 1290x1023, gr3_lrg.jpg)
>>2287008 >>2287011i agree that it's retarded, they'll probably say it's not that terrible and send me home anyway or i'll back out last minute so it's just mental masturbation atp. i went from not caring that much, to it completely consuming my every thought and thinking that dying on the table doesn't sound that bad which is again, retarded.
i feel like most people's pectus isn't that noticeable though but i really feel like mine is, i can't even wear certain shirts or bikini tops cause mine legit looks like picrel.
whatever, lookism.net (rip) and /fit/ rotted my brain so >>2287008 you're right No. 2287059
>>2287011Read between the lines here. She saw a cardiologist when she was 6, and the condition she listed can be comorbid with heart defects. She "hates checkups" but wants to get a ~free~ surgery, something that historically requires many "checkups" both to evaluate for surgery, and to monitor any potential complications. She wants "free surgery". She's not well.
>>2287048>mental masturbationOh it's you kek
No. 2287106
>>2287096Thank you.
Look i know you won't believe this but it happened in Florence, Italy. I'm probably going to get banned for racebait but the man was definitely NOT italian. The thing is, my friends, young and older, all have similar experiences. There is nothing we can do. Nothing we can do. Nothing at all. Do you know what else i had to witness? I was going to work. I turn the corner and there's a full adult man shitting on the ground. Out in the open. Yea, in Florence! Yes, in Leonardo Da Vinci's Florence, THAT ONE! He wasn't italian either, but thay goes without saying.
Wait what else? Oh yeah! There's non italians walking into the post office non stop asking each individual person in there for 20€. Yes they just enter the post office, walk up to people one by one, hold their hand out and say "can i get 20€?". They don't just walk into post offices though, sometimes they stand outside. Sometimes they stand next to you as you withdraw your money from the ATM. Can you imagine a 6'2ft tall foreign man standing next to an older italian lady at the ATM silently? She gives the money because what if he acts up if she doesn't? She'll have a broken jaw and he won't even get arrested.
Wait there's actually more. They installed screens next to kindergardens because…you guessed it! Foreign men would stand next to the windows of classrooms and just stare inside. 20 years ago me and my friends would do so from a distance to wave at our younger siblings. Can't have that anymore. Playgrounds have 0 children in them and 59 foreign men just sitting in them chatting. The occasional woman in a full burqa and her four kids.
Hold on! There's more. In supermarkets you will have homeless foreign men walk around with their bare feet, again, going up to people one by one asking for money. I actually witnessed a woman telling the workers at the shop "i'm scared! Why do you allow this! His bare feet are next to the vegetables out in the open!" And what do the workers do? They follow him (from a distance) and with a wide smile and a voice and cadence as if they're speaking to a child and not an adult male say "come on, now, you can't walk barefoot next to the food! Hehe, come on now, leave these people alone, you have to go". Do you know what would happen if an italian adult did the same? They'd call the cops on him.
Nonnie i'm sorry for dumping all of this on you. I am scared in my own city. I cannot go certain places anymore. When i have my night shift i have to take a different route to return home because past 6pm, there's 100 of them just sitting there, gathered up, chatting. Doing nothing. My friends have a shop near the station and they vent everyday about how scared they are / about the men catcalling them. Oh! One even grabbed my arm once! See i had blocked that out because this is the new normal.
In the historical city of Florence, this is the new normal. What is the solution? Other than leaving and never looking back, nonas, please tell me, what is the solution? What do i do?
My current plan is to save as much as possible and flee Europe ASAP. I cannot take this any longer and belieeeeeeeeve me. I am not the only one. Well. European nonnies know. I wish life could go back to how it was before 2015. My goodness this never used to be part of my life. It took less than 10 years for this happen. Less than 10 years. What's tomorrow? Guess what i do not care because I WONT BE HERE!
No. 2287150
>>2287125that's better than being milked for money for months by someone who can't help you or even makes you worse, speaking from personal experience
also therapy only works for people who are already okay-ish and want to have a better life. If you have serious mental health problems, the current form of therapy that is widespread doesn't help at all.
No. 2287247
>>2287203Yeah just look at it like this: what's more common, that an already statistically rare gay man (estimated to be maybe 3% of the population) happens to also believe he's trans?
OR
that a straight man is sexually harassing and harming women any way he can think of that he can get away with?
Given the amount of sexual violence from men towards females happening on the daily, we already know the answer. So why wouldn't he just say he's trans so he can get free access to women to abuse? Even if you're woke as fuck, why would you think "faking" trans would be where that kind of man draws the line when it comes to morally bad things to do?
No. 2287250
File: 1733182261118.jpg (122.3 KB, 866x1390, stressed-businessman-with-a-gu…)
Why the fuck did I just see a screenshot of a hornypost I made six months ago in a /g/ thread on Tumblr while browsing the subject of the post's tag?
No. 2287277
File: 1733183242470.jpg (24.18 KB, 562x286, rdash.jpg)
i'm too retarded to finish college yet alone hold a job
No. 2287282
>>2287277Not to kick you when you're down
nonnie, but the phrase is "LET alone"
No. 2287295
>>2287069Ugh nonna I'm so sorry, that really sucks. Try to get some sleep before the appointment if you can. The key to trying to cram sleep is to do it in multiples of 1.5hrs (90min), because that's the average sleep cycle. So even if you need to walk, that's about 2.5 hours to get ready and arrive if you only nap 1.5 hours before your night shift.
If you try napping and find you can't sleep, just closing your eyes and laying quietly in the dark can have a restorative effect. It can seem so wasteful, but I promise there is a WORLD of difference between sleep deprived, and sleep deprived but you rested with your eyes closed for an hour and a half.
So sorry I fell asleep on you btw, I got too warm in my bed with fresh sheets. I hope this advice reaches you on time and is maybe helpful!! Good luck!
No. 2287296
File: 1733183865967.png (29.45 KB, 128x128, discord__f_000f91__15577763734…)
I blush super easily when I'm nervous/embarrassed (so every time I talk to someone) and it ruins my life. Do you know how many times stupid fucking moids think I like them because I'm bright red when really idgaf about them???
No. 2287299
>>2287089im still to nauseous to eat and i also needed to finish my final paper for a class today but i cant do anything. im just gonna beg for an extension
>>2287296i used to do that when i was younger and had really bad social anxiety
No. 2287301
>>2287243Nothing is effortless; those people are just putting on a show. Like Martha Stewart throwing stuff in a bowl, putting it in the oven, and pulling out the finished product from under the counter. Why can't you cook like her?
Don't be too hard on yourself, adult life is weird. Just get a bunch of shitty temp jobs until you either get hired on or you get inspired. You have to see it through though; dont quit because a shitty job turns out to be shitty. Growth only comes from pain and suffering.
No. 2287357
>>2287314Ugh, I almost want to tell you to ask your obgyn what the fuck is going on, but they can be so useless. I'd say do it anyways but be prepared for a useless answer.
You checked to make sure it wasn't your appendix, right?
No. 2287360
>>2287350wtf i hope not, wouldnt it still be hurting??
>>2287357i have a checkup in a couple days so im planning to bring it up then. and yeah im pretty sure its just my womb i mean its in the same spot my cramps always are
No. 2287386
>>2287360For future reference, if you press down on a painful area in your abdomen, and it hurts more when you STOP applying pressure, that's an appendix burst, go to the ER scenario.
Also there are different kinds of ovarian cysts. Some don't hurt after rupturing, or so I hear. I think other anon is more knowledgeable about it than me.
No. 2287396
>>2287373Idk if you already know this, but when you're experiencing sleep paralysis, wiggle your pinky. It will feel like you can't, but concentrate on moving it as much as you can. You'll feel it twitching very little, then you'll be able to bend it, then mobility will begin returning to the rest of your hand. After a little bit, you'll snap out of the episode, like waking up very suddenly. Some instances take longer to resolve than others, but this has never failed me.
You also want to try ONLY focusing on moving your pinky with as much effort as you can. When your mind wanders is when your brain starts thinking shit up to fuck with you, including some stuff I'm not going to mention because even just knowing about it makes you think about it and then it affects you when you're experiencing an episode of sleep paralysis. Unfortunately, your brain is in a weird place during sleep paralysis episodes so it is very responsive to your passing thoughts.
No. 2287459
>>2287329The patent for insulin was sold to the University of Toronto for $1 specifically to make it accessible. There is some good in the world:
> As solutions to the insulin-cost crisis are being considered,” a new New England Journal of Medicine editorial argues, “there is value in remembering that when the patent for insulin was first drafted in 1923, Banting and Macleod declined to be named on it. Both felt that insulin belonged to the public. Now, nearly 100 years later, insulin is inaccessible to thousands of Americans because of its high cost.However:
> I just think it's insane how there haven't been mass riots about American healthcare, like massive full scale riots and straight up guerilla warfare homicide over this. How is nobody dying in a pit of fire over this? The demographic responsible for the price gouging would find your call to arms antisemitic. The last time people stood up against Big Anything (Occupy Wall Street), the elites weaponized queer theory against the world and empowered every fringe antisocial element to sow chaos with NGO support. The state of the world we have now is the result. We spay and neuter our own children, brought men into women's bathrooms, sports, and prisons, and import violent "refugees" by the boatload.
Big Pharma lobbied a decade ago to repeal the requirement that they justify any price increases to Medicaid administrators to remain eligible for reimbursement in the program, so they keep raising the price on insulin and epi-pens and other life-saving drugs because nothing stops them– insurance just keeps paying for it and the feds print more funny money to keep pace with the inflation. The whole thing is a racket.
Our entire economy runs on fraud and queer theory. It is literally fake and gay.
No. 2287484
>>2287386yeah it didnt hurt like that but thank you for telling me this
>>2287395eek this sounds scary but yes ill ask my doctor. and no im a virgin so its nothing to do with pregnancy
No. 2287497
File: 1733192228904.jpg (71.89 KB, 735x954, ruptured.jpg)
My depression is back and its only good for mental decay, I feel like each episode leaves me more retarded than the last. I did good for many months! I hate this manifestation of it because I lose joy for everything. I thought it may be the stress of exams, but they are almost over. I don't feel as excited as I typically do, just empty. I cannot even cry. I want a remedy, but I can spend all day obsessing over a solution and nothing works. It began two weeks ago and keeps bugging me. I take vitamins. I eat healthy. I go outside. I can usually keep myself happy and busy in my own little world so I don't mind being alone. I just feel empty now. I need to be selfless but now that feels like a chore, too. I miss my excitement. I want it back. Sometimes I'd like to blame my medicine, but thats too easy a solution.
No. 2287505
File: 1733192666340.jpg (105.15 KB, 634x722, Ed92M5YWkAAbJdn.jpg)
>>2287483Nonnie I love you. Please marry me.
No. 2287537
>>2287508Of course, nonna. A lot of anons are really anti-med or know very little about it, so I try to be helpful when I can. Unfortunately, I mostly have a lot of knowledge on run of the mill depression, anxiety, and ADHD, so I'm sorry I can't be more helpful to you. And I'm also sorry you're tweaking your meds right now, that's always the worst. The good thing is they are always making and testing new things, so even if something doesn't work for us now, there may be something in the future. I've always wondered if they will eventually be able to treat psychiatric related disorders with gene editing, you know?
Wishing you well, and hoping you find the right combination soon.
No. 2287607
File: 1733196751219.gif (3.85 MB, 498x498, 89a509629b957b052f340a34bce796…)
>>2287505I now pronounce us wife and wife.
I just finished the recap No. 2287627
>>2286712nona I had this EXACT issue at university recently and it SUCKED. the shared interests and stuff only stretched so far.
Their idea of friendship is extremely performative and political, nothing about it is organic or normal. it's so exhausting.
I ended up blocking almost all of them after I graduated because I knew that any semblance of friendship I had with them would blow up eventually, because it always will.
No. 2287748
File: 1733207421135.jpg (11.57 KB, 275x219, 1724327216697.jpg)
Im currently using that duolicious app even though I know it's not going to result in anything good. I'm just so lonely and other dating apps aren't working either. Im just afraid of being alone and feeling more awful about myself. I just want a cute friend that I can go to the movies and makeup store with. But I can't make friends with other girls easily at all, so I try companionship with moids, and it always leads to bad things. I just don't feel well anymore. Im crying more often now.
No. 2287752
>>2287748Girl please don't, I don't know where you live but you're better off doing some normie IRL meetup shit. You can aim for stuff that will skew more heavily female, stuff involving the arts, certain kinds of volunteer work, whatever is locally relevant. I don't even live in a big city but was able to find a sewing workshop with a free open house type session where you could bring pieces you were working on. I can't even sew but met some nice people.
Maybe you can't sperg out about animu but it's better than fucking duolicious
No. 2287841
>>2287837Any suggestions would be great. The main pain I get is lower back pain when I do menial chores that require slight bending like laundry, washing dishes, mopping/sweeping. But I also get this new pain in between my shoulder blades lately that hurts more when I turn my head
>>2287838I'll check it out thank you nonna
No. 2287850
File: 1733218498620.jpg (83.54 KB, 1920x800, 1000033476.jpg)
I wish someone would do something against the hippie men. I sometimes have to take the train and I kid you not there is always some hippie scum that smells like shit, mumbling to himself while searching through the trash cans. Always with greasy hair and those wide batik etsy pants. Fucking hippie scumbags at least take a shower before bothering the rest of us with your disgusting smell
No. 2287853
File: 1733218957671.jpg (30.72 KB, 564x564, snail artist.jpg)
depression legit made me retarded. i used to love drawing, i could do it for hours, now i get tired after ~20 minutes and it's really inconvenient because i MUST draw NOW to get my fucking college degree. i feel alright thanks to antidepressants but my productivity is like 10% of what it used to be. what's worse is i live with my mother and depend on her financially and i feel like i'm just wasting her money on meds. i feel ok but what's the point if i'm still practically useless? my internet addiction combined with lack of discipline is definetly at fault here too
i need to do 3 months of work in ~20 days now or i'm getting expelled. i'm fucked
No. 2287858
>>2287841Okay, so there are a couple of things you can try here. My first suggestion is always buying an electric heat pad. It plugs in to the wall, and it will have a controller with different heat settings. Start at the lowest and slowly work your way up as you adjust to the heat. Most will suggest not to lay on them because it can "burn" you, so once you get used to the settings you can experiment with that. It will definitely increase the amount of heat applied and it can feel better because you're pressing into it harder. Most of them also have a 2 hour auto shutoff! The nice thing about these is they are great for period cramps as well. You can also try icing your back to see if this helps! I find this typically works more for physical injuries, but if it works for you, most people suggest alternating heat and ice.
Two, many times lower back pain can be exacerbated because there's another nearby muscle pulling on your lower back muscles. Get a massage oil (think the massage bars at lush) and try seeing which groups of muscles make you feel better when massaged. It can be things you wouldn't expect! I've found the muscles at the top of my thighs are a common cause. I thought to try these because I know I have hip problems, so think about if you have anything that could point towards a certain group of muscles being overextended. And of course, just feel around in the area, wherever there are bones, there is muscle. Massage oil will help your fingers get past the skin and fat layers you have, which lotion has a harder time doing, but can still be a substitute in a pinch! You can also put a tennis ball between your back and a wall, and roll it across your muscles that are hard to reach. Make sure to drink a good amount of water after massaging any muscles.
Third, you will want to strengthen your core! Other anon suggested the McGill 3, and these are core exercises. Try tightening up your core whenever you bend over to pick up clothes, or when you sneeze and cough. This will stop your back muscles from straining themselves so much. Planks are always a good place to start if you can't do much else. If they are too hard for you at first, modify them by starting from a higher place. Put your hands on a countertop or bench for the plank instead of the ground. You should try having a mirror next to you to check your posture. Most people start to raise their hips or butts without realizing, because their instinct is to engage their back muscles to help their core! You want your back to be as flat and straight as possible. Even if you can only do 3 seconds at first, that's great! Your goal is to increase the amount of time you can remain in perfect plank position. There are modifications you can look up if you decide this is your new hobby and it gets too easy for you kek.
Fourth, a lot of people don't realise this, but their hips can be rotated when they first lay down to sleep on their backs. I briefly bring each knee to my chest in order to get my hips laying correctly. You should definitely get a firm pillow to place under your knees, it will help your back stay in the correct position. If you're a side sleeper, get a firm pillow to place between your knees.
Fifth, if you know you're going to be doing a lot of work, then take the ibuprofen BEFORE symptoms start. That way the inflammation is stopped before it has a chance to set in and make you hurt. Try upping your dose a little if you feel it isn't working well (my max is 800). Remember ibuprofen is processed through the kidneys, so be sure to drink a lot of water. And if you feel you have to take it constantly, it may be time to stop and look into other forms of medication or treatment options.
These things above can apply to your shoulderblade pain, but my advice for this is posture! Try working on strengthening your shoulders (planks can work for this too, they are the first step to pushups) because you need shoulder strengh to work on your posture. Stretches also help. Roll your shoulders backwards in circles 20 times and you should feel them loosen up. Also do chin tucks.
I hope some of this works for you!
No. 2287993
File: 1733235223275.png (2.43 MB, 1280x960, IMG_5070.png)
I’m so sad and anxious about the future for my sister but at the same time I’m just angry at her and her BPD bullshit. She’s ready to lose her job and apartment because she can’t keep her shit together and instead of taking accountability she will scream, cry, and hyperventilate about how we all hate her and wish she was gone. My mom went over to visit recently and said my sister is skelly thin and her dog seems terrified of her. I don’t know how to tell her to seek help without her lashing out and cutting everyone off. I’m scared of her doing something impulsive and stupid but I’m also over it. I can’t deal with the emotional manipulation anymore.
No. 2287997
>>2287983I meant outside of this guy but yeah
>>2287986It's worse, I asked specifically for a woman therapist due to sexual trauma and they gave me a gay moid like that'd fix me or something. I wish clinics fucking respected the clients wishes. It's the only one in town that takes my insurance too. Whole system is dicks
No. 2288003
>>2288000You can be genetically predisposed to developing certain illnesses, but also being that young it's possible you just don't remember trauma or what you were experiencing was just so normal to you you don't count it as trauma. When I was 5 I had a habit of maladaptive daydreaming and I would often stay up late in my bedroom walking around thinking of scenarios where I became ill and suddenly everyone gave me more attention than people who were mean to me. My sister was a type 1 diabetic and was hospitalized constantly and my father was physically
abusive, but my mom would shield me so I didn't realize how bad it was, but that kind of thing still just gets absorbed into your psyche.
No. 2288059
File: 1733240806458.jpeg (39.7 KB, 770x620, 1723187252449.jpeg)
I hate when my friend sends me pictures of the moidlets she's babysitting and I have to pretend they're cute. I do not care, can we talk about something else?
No. 2288175
File: 1733244600744.png (643 KB, 720x1365, Screenshot_20241203_114751.png)
aww geez..
No. 2288202
>>2288175Hi
nonny, just a word of advice that getting a fair price for the materials and labor you put in to handmade clothes is an uphill battle. You will be lucky to break even in most cases. Lolita inspired items like this can be especially challenging to sell as many who would be interested probably also have sewing skills. What really makes them move are the fabric and design choices. You can try to sell it of course, but don’t take the lack of offers as an indication of your skill level. It’s a niche and challenging market, especially when you’re just starting out.
No. 2288203
>>2288193Handmade by a single person ≠ mass-produced on a factory assembly line run by 100 people.
Go buy your shit off Wish or Temu and enjoy the quality.
No. 2288208
>>2288202Yeah, I was just trying stuff out, I guess. I'm an experienced seamstress, but there's no way I could actually make things that people would actively want.
I appreciate it. Thank you.
No. 2288209
>>2288203Implying
>>2288175 isn't already Temu quality with the uneven bottom part and ugly print KEK. Don't worry, I will buy online and so will everyone else and it'll still be better quality than something made by an autistic neet in her basement with a YouTube tutorial. Enjoy making no money since you can't take basic criticism even when you ask for it!
(infighting) No. 2288223
File: 1733246845405.jpeg (97.49 KB, 700x663, C5933F94-D3AD-41F5-9293-A3CA1F…)
>>2288208Didn’t you make this for yourself originally? I remember you posting it in the mundane thread. Don’t be so hard on yourself, making clothes and selling clothes are two entirely different skill sets. If you designed and made this with yourself in mind then it’s not surprising it doesn’t have mass appeal. That’s not a bad thing, it just means your approach should be a bit different next time you make something to sell. It’s a skill you have to develop just like sewing, it isn’t a failure of your character or abilities.
No. 2288268
Therapy cancelled due to weather anyway
>>2288196They attack because they know they exclude other women for bullshot reasons and they want to keep excluding
No. 2288301
>>2288223Yeah, I'm used to making bags and stuffed animals. This was one of the first times I tried a full-on dress.
I really liked the fabric, but there was less than 2 yards, so I had to work REALLY carefully to complete it with only scraps to spare.
My plan was to go more complicated once I got a basic pattern down (I drafted it myself), but if folks don't like the basics, I'm not sure about continuing with something more complicated.
But I think you're right. I know it's not really a "personal failing", as it were. It is what it is. I'm bad at selling, marketing, and taking photos in general, though, so maybe it's just not meant to be. I just have to reevaluate and think on it, I guess.
Anyone who's been constructive and/or kind, I appreciate it. I've tried to scroll to see everything, even if I haven't replied. Just kind of defeated rn.
Thank you for your nice comments and support, even if my work might kinda suck.
No. 2288390
File: 1733251816308.jpeg (460.97 KB, 1125x623, 4CC538A8-A06A-4634-A0F2-CA9E96…)
>>2288301Oh nona don’t be so defeatist. I think if you made this same exact dress in a baby blue cotton sateen or nice poplin you could sell it easily. It’s impressive you were able to make it with only 2 yards, I really do think your sewing skills are good. If you want to talk more about this and spitball ideas why not come talk to us in the sewing thread?
>>>/g/180491I promise I won’t hugbox but will give you feedback if you want. I really don’t think you should give up on this yet.
No. 2288404
>>2288390Lots happened today. I just need a break from thinking about it rn, is all.
Didn't realize there was a sewing thread. I'd be happy to contribute knowledge.
Appreciate it. Thank you.
No. 2288469
I just can't have nice things can i? I'm interested in a piece of media? It attracts the most retarded people imaginable, even if most people enjoy things I like in said piece of media, they like it in a completely different way and they shit on different opinions. I hate fandoms, but my friends can't live without it and this was the time I was genuinely interested in something. Okay, well, I will try to enjoy something else… No. I get permabanned for a thing that is normal and was specifically stated to not be a bannable offence, but I cannot appeal as they have changed my ticket on that to solved without hearing my side of things. Literally everyone does it there, streamers stream themselves doing that, but when I do it, it is permabannable! And I wasted some money on it (like a fucking loser).
I have done so much today, today was the day a feared the most for a few years, but I did it and I really wanted to celebrate it, but no. Nothing good can happen in my life, whenever I start feeling at least something better than apathy, something happens that ruins it and makes everything worse. I don't even try to hope for anything more than simple things to make me happier. This sucks. I'm going to sleep for 16 hours now, cannot take it anymore.
No. 2288527
File: 1733258703184.jpg (36.46 KB, 303x166, tumblr_61692352da216e051e25361…)
>>2288513it was this post
>>2287089 and i did some research and it does sound like thats whats been happening… of course it could be just cysts and not endo, or something else, i dont know and i wont until about 2 weeks from now when i see the doctor, im just anxious about it and my health in general now. and wondering if its connected to my really low sexual drive and motivation in general lately
No. 2288553
>>2288175I'm sorry
nonnie, that was mean and unnecessary of them. I agree that 125 may be a little overpriced but I disagree that your dress looks bad. Don't let them get in your head.
No. 2288576
>>2288569i wish we could hang out
nonnie. im lucky to have one good best friend irl whos also a girl but shes always hanging out with her boyfriend the past year so we havent been seeing eachother much
No. 2288621
File: 1733263586819.jpg (42.23 KB, 622x622, 1683524521024.jpg)
it's so annoying when i get mad at someone and pretend to be busy so i don't have to talk to them and they believe it instead of magically reading my mind and picking up on me actually being upset.
No. 2288644
>>2288175>>2288301It needs a lot more details for $125. The skirt looks like it's too low on the mannequin and the bodice is definitely too high, it makes the torso look weird. The placket and hem look uneven. The bow looks all lost and lonely floating on the waistband like that. The little blue bows on the hem are too small, and there aren't enough ruffles, it looks sad.
My suggestions: Fix all the uneven parts, lower the neckline of the bodice by a lot, add a ton more ruffles to the hem, get rid of the satin bows, add waist ties, add more ruffles and lace to the placket, and add lace and ruffles to the neckline of the bodice and the straps. I can't tell if there are buttons on the placket, but if there aren't, add some nice pearl ones.
I'm sure it looks nice when worn as part of a full coord but when it's displayed alone like this it looks awkward and sad. Lolita is all about the details, stick to a cohesive color scheme and go all out with the trim. The pattern you drafted is mostly fine, the bodice is the only really awkward part.
Personally I'm not a fan of the print, but you said you suck at photography, so it could be that the colors in the pic are totally off and the print looks very different in person. If you're not very good at displaying things that could be why the dress looks a bit crooked too, if you work on those skills I'm sure you'll be able to market your stuff better! Clothing is a very different beast to bags and stuffed animals. Please don't feel down, you did a great job for your first time making a whole dress.
No. 2288645
File: 1733265037949.jpg (16.25 KB, 443x453, 1000000269.jpg)
>>2288636Don't worry about it.
No. 2288649
>>2288638>>2288645Thank you both ♥
>>2288648Idk what it is about colon parenthesis that makes it kind of relieving to type.
No. 2288664
>>2288661Holy shit, that's awful! Herd mentality can get out of hand really quickly and once someone is othered, it's almost impossible to to be accepted again. Do you have an HR department you can talk to?
Other than that, the only thing you can do that I can see is to indeed get involved. Just saying "This is getting out of hand" or "I'm not gonna participate in this" might be enough to snap some people out of it. But like you said, it may bring some heat onto you and I don't blame you for not wanting that.
No. 2289022
File: 1733292753518.png (60.73 KB, 954x290, mr grabby.PNG)
sometimes i get nostalgic and feel inklings of wanting to get back into anime but i can’t, after the first cringe waifu booby joke or a panty shot i just pause the video, quit the browser, go do something else and never come back to it again. i literally never get past episode 1 this way. no luck with even supposedly family friendly animes. what the fuck is wrong with that shitty ass country
No. 2289062
File: 1733297146304.jpg (56.61 KB, 480x800, wehehemonki.jpg)
So I went to Ulta beauty today and I just wanted to ask; How come every time I go into ANY makeup store I am treated like a disgusting ogre or something? I get it to a degree, I'm never really "made up" because I don't wear make up because it feels weird and I'm not fashionable because I can't afford to be. I'm sorry I'm not wearing the latest trends from temu, straight off of tiktok shop. I didn't know that made me some kind of freak. I never have these problems in ANY OTHER STORE holy shit it's always makeup stores which makes me feel so shitty because a majority of the employees are women and I'm a woman and I really, really want to have girlfriends because all of my friends keep being dudes AND I'M SICK OF IT. I hate it I feel like if I was born prettier and less retarded this wouldn't be as much of a problem. I want to fix it. I wasn't even buying makeup I was buying a skincare starter box for my mom's christmas gift. I was trying to be nice, when the employee looked me up and down and gave me a weird sheepish smile I smiled back and even poked a bit of fun at myself I said "Yeah, I'm probably not the kind of person you're used to seeing here." and she just laughed and nodded. I thought I was doing a good job getting around my social anxiety. I asked her how much the box I picked up is because there was no price on it. She said it was 35 bucks which was out of my budget. I blew most of my gift budget on getting my mom these really expensive shoes (the skincare stuff is just supposed to be a stocking stuffer) So I asked if there was anything under 19 dollars because that's all of the christmas budget that was left. These women give each other a look then looked back at me like they were in utter disbelief. I got really anxious but I stood my ground and said "It's okay if you don't have anything in my price range, sorry if it's a big ask" and she just stopped and said "No, it's okay, this is why I've got the app." She looks down at her phone and just starts kinda talking passively. She says something like "Yeah this is tough because you know skincare is usually…well" and I chimed in with "Expensive" Im joking, of course. Im wearing my BEST "Im joking" face. She says "No not expensive if you're..Well" she looks at the employee standing next to her and that employee made a really weird face at me? She pursed her lips looking at me, then away towards the wall (side eyeing the wall), then the other employee kinda made a sneer. I get it, Im not the most well dressed. I get my clothes from Ross and these women can tell. They can make fun of me all they want I just wish they waited until I left. The main employee lady found a product in my price range really quickly and I thanked her a lot. Then she was like "No problem I didn't know we had a bargain bin. so it all worked out." I didn't mind it at the time but I do mind it now because my sister's reaction when I repeated that to her was to get really mad. I quickly went up to the counter to buy the box and the girl at the counter asked me if I wanted to put in my phone number for discounts and stuff but I don't come there often so I said "No thank you" and pressed the skip. It came up again so I skipped it…Then it came up again and she said "You can just put in the number of someone you know, it doesn't have to even be your number" I said "No thanks, I don't really buy makeup very often but thank you for offering." Then she got pissed and covered the screen with her hand, saying "We need your number to process the transaction, you cant buy it unless you enter your number" And I was just kind of suprised but I complied and apologized because I didn't realize it was required. But looking back she never even told me it was required or anything she just kept making it seem like an optional thing for returning customers. I wasn't even out of the door yet when I heard her coworker loudly ask "Why do you always get the most annoying customers." I got out of the store and just sat in the car for a minute. Am I even a woman, why do other women seem to be so pissed off at me all of the time. It's been this way since elementary school. I don't feel like I'm particularly offensive, I'm well groomed so I don't smell. I can only imagine it's because I'm kind of or maybe even really frumpy or homely. But I missed out on learning how to be a pretty girl that people wanna be around because I always had stupid fucking interests like Yugioh and Sonic. I should've gotten it together when the other girls in my class started watching pretty little liars but NO i wanted to watch Fairy Tail and be NLOG so never got over my sensory issues with makeup one of the main things I have to do. I can't shake the feeling I should give up and go back to being a shut in. I never felt this bad when I just didn't go outside.
No. 2289095
>>2288787i will,
nonnie, thank you
>>2288789dunno if that’s a thing in my country, but i’ll check it out! i’m from a post-soviet country
No. 2289117
>>2289103I read anon's post you responded to and I disagree with your take on what happened. She was a socially awkward girl who clearly indicated she was a poorfag trying to Christmas shop, and established a budget. She said she was polite and by saying she doesn't usually go to the store or buy makeup, she signalled she would need more help than the average customer.
These women are getting paid to help and anon wasn't even being a bitch or difficult. Sorry she's an autist, but she is nowhere near the level of moids who come in to harass women who are on the clock. They didn't have to be rude to her and covering the screen with her hand to talk down to anon was insane. If you feel their comments were justified, I think you're part of the problem.
>>2289062Stop going to beauty stores if you aren't participating in beauty stuff. As you can see, people can be really strange about women who don't participate in the culture. And I understand you are despairing at the general interaction, but your response being "I just need to go back to being a shut in!" to this bad experience can come off as begging for attention/asspats. I recommend looking for female companionship related hobbies you actually enjoy, like the shows you mentioned watching.
I also want to let you know I can see from your posts that you're a newfag who hasn't integrated because of your typing style. Stuff like integrating or mirroring other people when you enter their environments will help them feel more like you're participating with them, instead of demanding they do a lot of work to handhold or coddle you.
No. 2289125
>>2289112Kek I'm sorry your day sucked, ree away, you're in the vent thread. You should follow anon up on looking into getting your depression treated. Saying you don't have the "mental strength" to help yourself is a really self-defeating attitude, and I think if you change your thoughts to "I am trying to have the mental strength to help myself" your outlook will improve.
Try making different friends who aren't dependent on fandom stuff, or get into something new that you can be by yourself with. Learning how to sit with yourself and not need to interact with other people about things can be hard because being lonely is painful, but it's a good skill to have.
I don't know if this suggestion is helpful, but maybe you can try watching some movies you haven't seen before. You can take this a step further by writing something down in the style of a blog post to externalize your thoughts. Maybe you can even start a casual blog this way, just something for yourself. Try to pick something that you will have a lot of thoughts, like a movie from a genre that interests you or that you've heard a lot about. You definitely need a hobby like knitting or hiking so you can have somewhere else to put that restless or frustrated energy.
I hope you feel better soon!
No. 2289138
>>2289126You are going to be okay, anon. Just keep trying and learn from any mistakes you make. Each failure is a stepping stone to your success. At some point you will find friends that work out and like you, and it will be a combination of finding people who are a good fit and your own personal growth. Just remember it takes two to make a friendship, and you can't give in to despair!
>>2289130In her initial post she was not as obvious, but in her responses to people's replies you can see more of a typing style. One of the most notable indicators is how she left all her apostrophes out of contracted words.
No. 2289219
File: 1733315508024.jpeg (51.61 KB, 540x675, horrors persist but so do i.jp…)
>Apply at a gas station
>"We don't think you're the right candidate"
I didn't want it that bad but I feel so defeated kek
No. 2289296
File: 1733324036286.jpg (4.56 KB, 275x237, 1000008195.jpg)
Left my bubble tea on the table to take a quick shower and when I got back, the ants already got to it. Fuck my stupid baka life. At least I finished most of it I guess.
No. 2289297
This is the second time my friend has sent me into a serious ptsd spiral and I can't socially smooth over and pretend it's nbd anymore. Really don't want to talk with her about it but if I end up flashing back this bad again I'm actually going to drive myself over the damn overpass. Genuinely might stop being friends with straight women for awhile, wasn't expecting this kind of minefield when we started hanging out.
>>2289281Revoking benefits if a disabled person gets married is the dumbest and most sociopathic thing imaginable. Sure, let's take a person who already has less capital than their peers and ensure that they'll end up financially dependent on their spouse. You know, because spouses never ever abuse their low-earning partners or use their financial situation to trap them. Never fucking happens.
No. 2289350
File: 1733327281445.jpeg (13.43 KB, 250x140, 1729821457698.jpeg)
I think i have made a grave error nonnies. As soon as I hit the one year anniversary mark with my girlfriend, she suddenly starts exhibiting cluster B insanity
I just had to calm her down from a 3 hour long bpd tier meltdown because one of her acquaintances mentioned in passing that they thought i was pretty, which of course means I am far too beautiful for her and I am going to leave her.
>"Your ex was ugly, so you must only like ugly girls. You're only dating me because you like ugly girls"
i wasn't going to leave her but she is acting so batshit insane. I actually thought things might work out
My ex trooned out and my current girlfriend is a cluster B nightmare. I'm so tired nonnies
No. 2289378
>>2289281No it's real, the only places where i'm made to feel like shit are stores like Ulta/Sephora. I'm from a part of the world that's known to be unwelcoming and beauty shop clerks are
still more hostile than usual if you look marginally different from them. To be fair they aren't always like this, perfume vendors are super chill but i know what AYRT experienced. It's different from pissed off tired workers who just want their day to be over, it's deliberate, they make it clear you're a rat staining their pretty place. You're right that AYRT takes it too personally and needs to work on her anxiety, but they are definitely less shitty to you if you look like them and do the fake giddy high-pitched saleswoman voice.
>>2289062>I can't shake the feeling I should give up and go back to being a shut in. I never felt this bad when I just didn't go outside.These women are shitty to everyone and to themselves, people joke about fashion/beauty shop clerks being nasty all the time. You can take solace in knowing they probably hate each other and make their work life miserable. The more you'll experience these annoying incidents, the better you'll get at handling the loathing that comes with it. The only way out of anxiety is through. Even hyper-feminine women have to LARP to not get shit from these workers kek (my feminine relatives ramp up their mannerisms as soon as they step in), you're not defective for not performing during this specific moment
>>2289350>she suddenly starts exhibiting cluster B insanityReally? Think harder, it's likely she displayed those traits before but you didn't notice because you wanted it to work. Whether it's legitimately BPD or regular relationship insecurity, you need to be firm and make it clear you're not falling for her guilt tripping. Women like that think any attempt at distancing or boundaries is evil and makes you emotional Hitler but you need to stand your ground. Honestly if i were you i'd leave, it's up to you to try and see if she's receptive to change/therapy
No. 2289380
This clipchamp software fucking sucks. All I wanted was to quickly split a video into multiple parts, but that's not really possible. What you have to do is split it, delete all other parts, and save only the one that's left. So if you want to split a 10 min video into 5 parts, for part 3 you'll have to make a cut from 4 to 6 mins, delete everything else, and save that part, then for the next part you'll need to reopen the original file, cut 6-8 mins, rinse and repeat. And for saving, there doesn't seem to be an option to save to your computer even when using the desktop app? You have to save to Onedrive, google drive, dropbox, or some other similar service.
I've never done any video editing, is this how it's supposed to work? Why can't I make multiple splits in the same video and export each split as a separate file? And why can't it just open the explorer and let me save the file locally? I hate techonology.
No. 2289385
>>2289350Of course I could be wrong but I have friend who is fairly normal, only to then go batshit crazy during PMS times maybe 33% of the time. It's like she turns into a different person: clingy, insecure as fuck, depressed, suicidal, gets obsessed with some gross moid, violent thoughts (I haven't seen her act on them at all, but she'll express hate for people with overtly violent descriptions). It's hard to deal with even just as a friend. But- she does get back to normal, and every time she kinda goes "oops my period started, guess it was just PMS again". One you spot the pattern it's easier to deal with. What I'm saying is it IS possible you caught your girlfriend at a bad time.
Wait a few days then ask her "what was that outburst the other day, we need to talk about it" ask her if was PMS related (obviously not in a dismissive way) or if she's stressed over something you hadn't realized. Like maybe her friend when you weren't around to hear it told your gf something like they'd totally bang you if you weren't taken already and she spiraled from that due to some earlier partner cheating on her. You never know. You may end up choosing to end it, but you could at least ask her to see if she's willing to talk it out and work on it.
No. 2289397
>>2289062>How come every time I go into ANY makeup store I am treated like a disgusting ogre or something? >I'm never really "made up" because I don't wear make upThat's why. Even girls who love and live for makeup will tell you the treatment is extremely different from staff when they go in with a bare face. The staff thinks if you're not even wearing makeup on a normal day then you're not going to be a good customer, and you're clearly not a regular customer (who needs to refill basics regularly), you're not gonna buy much and if you do it will be some cheap low tier brand. It's like showing up to a fancy dinner party wearing a t-shirt and jeans, they can see that you don't care about the event or service provided.
Of course they're often wrong, but that's the general attitude you get from them. They're often run by young girls/women who aren't very mature who didn't know what else to do with life, so they turned to their hobby of makeup. It's not your fault, it's always them.
No. 2289399
>>2289361current is literally the correct word, she is my girlfriend right now and i was using it in the context of speaking about my ex
And i have no problem with comforting insecurities, but somehow its always me taking the verbal battering and doing all the comforting in the relationship
>>2289378You aren't wrong, i have a bad habit of overlooking or excusing weird behavior and now that i think of it, this is not the first time at all. She's very sweet, but the most random thing can set her off and when it does, she's just so mean and aggressive. I feel like I've explained that i refuse to fight and scream, and i just want to have conversations but its like she just never gets it
>>2289385That's true nonna, I'm a PMS demon myself though not as bad as your friend lol
I really try to give her the benefit of the doubt in random times like this but like the other
nonnie said, this isn't the first time so at this point i dont know if im just being a delusional retard being walked all over while i make excuses for her actions
No. 2289415
>>2289372Make a list of what you CAN do to change your life.
Can you get a job or change the one you have? If not, can you volunteer somewhere a few days a week for free just to get out of the house? Can you find local support groups for people who struggle?
Can you take yourself on a walk and touch grass every day? Can you talk to a friend regularly? Can you feed yourself healthy foods? Can you shower to feel clean? Can you set a small healthy goal and do it every day?
What's the easiest out of all of those - take a shower? Well do that then. Get a healthy meal? Do that then.
And see if the points are connected, if you feel you can't do anything because you're broke then getting a small but stable income is your first priority. Perhaps you're not as mentally ill as you think, but the stress of being broke makes you feel a lot worse. You do not need to wait around for someone to save you, ultimately you will save yourself.
Pretend you're another person than yourself, how would you help that person? What actions do you think would be best for them?
Oh and while social media can indeed be shit and full of lies, go to youtube and look up coping mechanisms for whatever mental illness and anxiety you're dealing with. They're going to be the same as what a therapist tells you, that way you can get a head start and work on yourself for free.
No. 2289444
>>2289434there were always a set of rules that have to be followed on lc and other imageboards. Even 4chan has rules on behaviour.
The imageboards that you crave for that are no-rules after time become ghost towns because no one wants to visit them anymore because the lack of rules turn them into shitholes. You're probably one of those edgy baiters too who contribute nothing and are moaning over a ban.
No. 2289465
>>2289462maybe
>>2289463you can try to get yourself banned as much as you can and 99 times out of 100 you will only get banned if you spam or create off-topic threads on boards dedicated to specific topics. hell you can make a vaguely related thread and chances are it will hit bump limit.
No. 2289474
>>2289466Nona you have to tell her you won't be doing anything on the trip with her. She can waste her money and go if she wants, but you're still busy taking a couples trip with your boyfriend and she can't come along to third-wheel any activity or dinner you two are going to.
>I would still love to take a vacation with her and her kid someday but this is not it. I don't see why, she's a shit friend who gives zero shits about your feelings and privacy.
No. 2289480
I wish I hadn’t let my guilt stop me from continuing to create art. I got a “memories” notification of a picture that I took over 10 years ago of these little cute charms I made out of polymer clay and I remember that day well. I had moved back home to live my parents after college while I was working part-time and getting my feet on the ground, and after a long bout of feeling sad and depressed, I felt inspired to make little jewelry charms and ornaments of cats, kittens, and cute little foods like cupcakes, ice creams, and cookies (this was during my “twee” era of the early 2010s, kek). I loved dreaming up new ideas and the cute designs made me happy. I took a picture of my latest batch and shared it wit my friends.
Later, my mother (a former artist that I strongly believe has bipolar disorder, who was also pissed off at my father for ruining our family finances), came home from work and saw me putting together some charms that I had just baked, and absolutely lost her shit. Screaming and wailing and crying at the top of her lungs that “it’s sOoOo nice” that I was able to “play around and follow my dreams and do whatever I want”, and she hopes we’re happy seeing her so miserable because nobody cares about HER dreams and she should just kill herself already!
I felt so incredibly guilty, I cried and put all of my charms away while she screamed at me and I never looked at them again. I never opened that Etsy shop that I wanted. I never made another clay sculpture again because I felt so guilty just looking at the little packs of clay, it just reminded me of what a miserable world my mom lives in and made me feel like I didn’t deserve to enjoy making cute things.
It pisses me off so badly in retrospect. She used to cry all of the time even when I was a kid and blame me and my dad that we “stressed her out so badly that she can’t make art anymore because she can only make it when she’s in a good mood”. As a teenager and college student I tried to encourage her to channel her angry/sad feelings to make art and she always had some excuse that she cAaAant, she can only do it when she’s happy!
Now I’m in my fucking late 30s and I feel so discouraged and I wish I hadn’t let my guilt over my mother stop me. I still have a hard time enjoying life because I feel guilty being happy while my mother back home is so miserable. I know I need to let it go because no matter what, she will probably just languish away and choose to be unhappy until the day she dies. But fuck, man. It’s hard.
No. 2289490
>>2289480I also struggle with doing things I enjoy or want to do without feeling guilt or shame about it. It’s easier said than done, but when I start to feel those emotions I try to identify if they’re really mine or the result of what others have made me feel. And if they’re because others around me are miserable and took it out on me, just telling myself that these aren’t my emotions and aren’t my responsibility. Freeing yourself of the expectation to manage and fix them enables you to instead prioritize yourself and what
you want to do.
No. 2289494
>>2289480From the bottom of my heart, I think you need to learn how to resent your mother more. Reading about what she did that day makes me want to alog and I don't know shit about you kek.
You're older than me so you probably have already done all the introspection on how you need to prioritize yourself over her, etc. But I do hope you open that path back up for yourself. I don't want you to be at the end of your life, filled with regret over letting guilt you shouldn't even be feeling take over. You aren't even close to halfway through your life yet. And even if you were over the halfway mark, you would still have so much time to pursue your interests.
I wish I had your creative impetus, I really do. My parents actively discouraged me from creative expression because they had a vision of me as some high IQ ivy league graduate doctor, and then lost all interest in me when I turned out to be a retarded autist KEK.
I hope you overcome this emotional obstacle, nonna! And also that lightning strikes your mother or whatever.
No. 2289504
>>2289489Depression can manifest as apathy and anhedonia. Excessive sleep is a sign of depression. If you are seeing the signs of depression within yourself, don't just say "oh, but I don't really have it that bad, what is there to be depressed about" as though depression is some kind of badge god pins onto the most pathetic and unfortunate losers. That's a self-pitying moron move that will cost you so much in the long run, even if you don't realize it right now. You do NOT want to wake up years into this and realize you should have done something at the start.
>>2289496I'm someone who regularly slept 9+ hours a night, starting in childhood. The other stuff anon was talking about, including being depressed previously, point to something other than needing more sleep than the average person. If she solves her mental/emotional problems and still sleeps 10 hours a day, that's more than fine. But she doesn't want to leave depression untreated because it will slowly make everything worse as time goes on.
No. 2289557
>>2289542Fuck this faggot, he is in no position to be this high and mighty about "kill shelters". No-kill shelters are the bane of people who actually care about working with animals.
I'm sorry everything has sucked for so long, nonna. I'm sure you've considered breaking it off, is there a reason you haven't? It sounds like he is taking advantage of you.
No. 2289563
File: 1733338662876.jpg (243.08 KB, 850x445, martyr complex.jpg)
>>2289557>is there a reason you haven't?Picrel
(infight bait) No. 2289618
>>2289504Ayrt, now that I’ve thought about it more it’s probably depression like you said. I used to be on meds but that was like two years ago. 25 mg of Zoloft (never upped my dose because my parents managed to convince me to not get a higher dose because they and I quote, “didn’t want me to depend on medication for the rest of my life” so zoloft was useless. Then I was on 10 mg of lexapro for a few months but I gradually stopped taking them because I felt like a completely emotionless husk and that scared me. So I’ve pretty much been rawdogging my depression for years at this point. I have trouble telling if I’m depressed most of the time. My usual comparison point is the about two month long episode I had last year where I was constantly tired, irritable, and hardly ate (both because of just regular loss of appetite and doing it on purpose) but I think I was having an episode for most this past November. I definitely remember crying a bit and just feeling hopeless and vaguely suicidal
and I relapsed into self harm but it’s over now. It comes and goes. Part of the reason I got a job is to pay for some sort of meds or therapy since I never got therapy, as well as get me out of the house.
No. 2289623
File: 1733341717730.jpg (89.44 KB, 809x540, 56756756.jpg)
why does this always happen? it's a small thing but it annoys me
No. 2289632
File: 1733342255482.jpeg (20.87 KB, 399x399, ugly moid.jpeg)
>>2289626Omg nona this guy is so fucking ugly, your moid is 100% just an insecure retard. How can he genuinely feel jealous and take that shit seriously? Kek
No. 2289648
>>2289618I'm sorry your parents pressured you like that. I think what people don't realize is if someone has a naturally occurring chemical deficiency in their brain… then taking away the meds won't stop it from naturally occurring. It's like taking a cripple's crutches away because she shouldn't depend on them for the rest of her life. What, so she should crawl everywhere? Almost every psychiatrist will work with you to see if you can come off the meds once you are stable and thriving. But many times the outcome is "oh shit, the meds were keeping this person stable" kek. When a psych refuses to take someone off meds, they usually cite the patient being extremely unstable as a baseline, but even then switching to a different doctor can usually get you weaned off meds.
I hear what you're saying about the Lexapro. An unfortunate (or maybe beautiful?) part of life is we are all unique and have multitudes that make up a body. So that means our chemical makeup is different and meds will all affect us differently. I was also recently switched to Lexapro for a trial run and it did almost nothing for me even on the highest doses. Worse, since it treated my irritability ONLY, I was left with anhedonia, giving me the sensation of having no emotions. I came off it and went with Cymbalta. So far I've seen a real improvement, but I'm still adjusting to it. You can also try an anti-anxiety medication. For example, I know trazodone is popular for people with anxiety disorders who also have disordered sleep because it makes them drowsy enough to fall asleep and keeps them asleep through the night.
I hope you're able to get a psychiatrist to start trying medications again. Try to stick with it even when it feels really frustrating. There are so many meds out there, and sometimes it takes a LOT of trying before you find one that works. I'm sorry about your relapse, but I'm glad you came out of it and are still with us.
You probably already know this, but having a strict time for bed and waking up will help the oversleeping issue. Your internal clock will adjust and your body will start making you sleepy when it's time to go to bed, and eventually you'll start waking up just before your alarm goes off every morning.
No. 2289676
>>2289649real, in my town, when im going to places, i see less native residents of the country than newcomers who just want money, none of them can speak to each other or understand each other. i deeply admire some of them, like i know an indian guy who works hard at a shit job and has big dreams and sends money home, loves his mom, but it is also sad and lonely when natives are outnumbered and their faces and cultures aren't carried on, regardless of race, and this doesn't mean anyone is better than anyone, just that maybe a country is more than a piece of land, it's also the people that inhabit it. this is coming from someone with one immigrant parent. also i love france so much that's such a loss.
>>2288653lol so accurate…the insults are always so asinine yet specific, like people log on to project their issues from irl people only anons
No. 2289680
I know it's been a week but I'm still upset with my boyfriend's mother for ruining his Thanksgiving and interfering with our Thanksgiving break. She's a very kind person, but has issues with smothering other people. She struggles with boundaries and cares so much about being kind that she takes your independence from you. It's hard to describe because it sounds like she's simply being extra nice, but it truly wears you down. She gets upset when you refuse her suffocating kindness. I tried searching around to see if other people have experienced this kind of smothering, but it's all just r*dditors hating their moms and/or way more extreme narcissistic behaviors.
My boyfriend was supposed to stop by Thanksgiving (3:00 pm) and then was going to go to his family's a bit later in the evening (5:00 pm). When he told her this a week ahead, she insisted it was a terrible idea. Day of, he repeats his plan to his family and got bombarded with calls and texts from his sister and mother. His sister begged him to come so that their mom wouldn't ruin Thanksgiving. From what I understand (and have experienced), his mom is the type who would cling on to the idea that the day is somehow ruined because her son would be missing one Thanksgiving out of over two decades worth of celebrations, eg. constantly saying stuff like "I'm sorry you all have to be at my terrible dinner, I know you all want to be somewhere else, hope the food is good enough for you."
He didn't want to go to his family's at all, but was still planning to because he loves them. He ended up going to only his family's because of the drama. Their celebration involved his sister exploding at their mom, his mom getting so upset and threatening to leave, and just an all-round foul mood that happens when someone is so obsessed with playing hostess that they do not consider their guests. He had a bad time and was extremely drained for the three days that followed.
I'm away at university currently, and fly back most weekends. Still, my bf and I are technically long distance and were looking forward to having Thanksgiving together, and more days than just Saturday and half of Sunday to see each other. Because of her theatrics, we lost Thursday and half of Friday. Not that I'm demanding his time, but we were both looking forward to extra time together while I didn't have school hanging over me and he didn't have work. I'm so mad that he had to deal with all that mess, I'm sad I couldn't see him for longer, and I'm so done with his family tolerating this sort of behavior from her.
I want my boyfriend to come over Christmas eve with my mom. It's always just me and her as my dad works Christmas, and I have to take her to the airport at like 4 am on Christmas day. He'd have to miss his family's Christmas eve dinner, but then we can both go to the Christmas day dinner that his family traditionally has with a few other families. I just know that it's going to be more drama if/when I suggest it, but I'd be completely alone for most of Christmas day otherwise. I truly don't hate his mom, but her over-bearing nature draws a deep anger out of me. She's so well-intentioned that it almost comes across as cruel to say no to her, and you wind up in a situation where you have to just accept that you will have no personal boundaries/independence in her house.
No. 2289690
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I feel like I've witnessed my moms love for me decrease since middle school. I've never been that popular, i don't have many friends from middle or high-school left, and the ones i have (2 people) aren't close to me enough to call real friends so i only ever talk to my mom on a regular basis. I'm taking a break year to study and prepare for uni (not usa or european so its normal here idk how it is anywhere else) so i don't have anywhere to be or anyone to talk to, I'm basically a shut-in.
I am extremely close to my mom, we have slept on the same bed until i was 14 and even at the age of 19 she still asks me to sleep with her sometimes, we hug and cuddle and kiss all the time, we joke around and giggle all the time, she is literally the only person that i know and trust ever which makes the truth incomprehensibly devastating for me.
She never used to hit me until once she realised she can she started doing it, she never used to insult me too much during fights until once she realised she can she started doing it, she never damaged my own personal property until once she realised she can, she started doing it.
Our fights have been getting so much more intense and terrifying and i dont know what i did to deserve this.. My whole life ive tried my best to be a good person and i feel like im the type of daughter most people would want, i do all the housework, i was never interested in smoking or drinking, i was always responsible with my money and i never ask her to buy me something unless she suggests it first because i feel guilty, i don't mess around with guys, i always get at least above average grades. But she still treats me like an absolute piece of shit when she's mad…
Our last figth happened last sunday and it completely changed the way i see her. She basically got mad that i wasn't studying enough, even though ive been showing a lot of improvement in the mock exams ive been taking and im performing well above average im going to ignore all that because it is objectively the truth that i am not as disciplined as i need to be. Even if i was at home slacking off all day, i don't think i deserve to be treated this way. She hit me in the head once really fucking hard (it still hurts) slapped me and hit my head a few times more for good measure. Insulted me calling me names for hours, and i means LITERALLY hours, once she starts complaining she literally does not stop for at least an hour. We started fighting at 3pm, she nonstop yelled at me until 5pm, after a short break she kept complaining to me for 4 more hours. The insults she throws are extremely personal and always hits exactly where it hurts (for example saying that im just like my father over and over again because ive specifically told her that it makes me upset). Keep in mind im not saying ANYTHING when she's yelling because literally anything i do will make the situation worse. If i look at her she insults how retarded the way im looking is, if i respond to anything or try to defend myself in any way she gets violent or raises her voice more, sometimes she asks me questions (yk the obviously trap ones where she goes "LIKE what am i supposed to do right now?? huh?? what would you do in my position rigth now??) and she gets mad if i don't answer them and she still gets mad if i answer them, this has happened multiple times i have tried every possible answer nothing is ever rigth she just wants me to say something so she can get more mad. I just stand there for hours as she insults me and keeps yelling and its genuinely so mentally exhausting to keep hearing that waiting it to end. She has also ripped apart one of my books (that i bought with the scholarship that was given to me, which means it was 100% my property) in half and threw it next to the trash. She never used to harm my things but she had recently started doing it (she did it 2 times in the past 5 months when she never did it before) and i'm scared that its gonna become a habit for her. The worst part is, she didn't even apologise for any of this. She ALWAYS used to apologise, but she doesn't even do that anymore she doesn't even fucking apologise anymore.
Around 11pm when i got ready to sleep and told her i was going to sleep she just hugged me and said she loved me? The difference between how she acts is literally day and night, just one hour ago she threw her book and glasses to the other side of the room because of how mad she got that i said i didnt thought she was being fair to me, and now she is hugging and kissing me goodnight telling me that she loves me a lot? She does this after every figth and pretends like it counts as an apology, but what really broke me happened the day after that. She said she took my book out of the thrash and i said i didnt wanted to have it anymore, she asked if i had a copy and i said "no I'm just gonna buy a new one" because no shit, i didnt wanted to even look at that one let alone repair it, but she got mad and told me that i wasn't going to get a new one and "she better not see me wasting her money on that", even though it was my own money that SHE wasted by ripping my book apart, and she said that i needed to "remember what happened that day everytime i looked at that book so i dont act like that again"
I promise this is not ragebait all of this happened and im crying writing this at 12am with my phone at 13% battery because i cant go to sleep anymore, every night ive been thinking about this incident and i cry myself to sleep everytime. I dont know what to do, i dont know what to feel, she acts like everything is normal she keeps kissing me goodnight and joking around to me and telling me funny stories from work like nothing happened but i dont know what to do. How do i live? She is the only person that i have but im really really scared of her, our relationship is extremely complicated that i don't even know if i can or should try to explain the details.
She always used to apologise even when she hit me she never tried to justify it after the fact, but now, she straight up thinks she was rigth to abuse me? what do i do. how do i live. She is my everything why. I just feel like she doesn't love me anymore. I don't know what to do…
No. 2289702
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The job I applied for has me on the schedule again.
No. 2289862
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I keep shitting blood. This has gone on for almost three years now. My GP won't do anything to help. A and E won't do anything to help either. They go "yep, that's blood. Stay hydrated xx" I Just get a random stabbing pain in the stomach then shart blood. Then feel fine afterwards, albeit a bit queasy and shaky. I can't afford to go private reeeeeeeeee I fucking hate living in bongland our medical institutions are unbelievably shitty and ran by pedophiles
No. 2291936
>>2289690nona I am so sorry to hear that you were put through all that abuse. It's not normal for her to sleep in the same bed or kiss you that much either IMO. The cycle of abuse usually has a phase where the abuser is nice to you, to make the abuse part hurt more and make you confused, dependent, and hoping that if you just do/say xyz shell be nice to you again. Try to spend less time at home and study at a library maybe? Personally my mom isnt physical like yours but has thrown out my plant dedicated to my deceased pets in a fit of rage, the morning she had to take me to an appointment. Shes nice sometimes but then she triangulates me with her fave child, her son. Anyway I failed to move out due to a housing crisis where I am and my own agoraphobia, so I cant offer much more advice than that. Sorry this isnt much help. I cant imagine the strength it would take to experience all that physical and mental abuse. Youre a stronger woman than I am.
Just know that despite differences in experiences, know that youre not alone. Hope things turn out better for all of us involved in anything similar.
Im sorry but this is basically like a loss, the death of a relationship. I too realized that my relationship with my mom is dead, after she told me she doesnt believe me that I dont hate her even though Im never rude to her. Just because I cant stand to be around my male sibling who harassed me constantly. My mom basically said I deserved his harassment everytime I went to the bathroom, because he "thinks I dont like him" (gee I wonder why?). So if he raped me or who knows what, mom would take his side, it feels like.
Anyway, nothing you do or say will make your
abusive mom change, only she will change, but most abusers dont change their ways. So in any way you can, cut your losses, live your best life you can, and DONT let that bitch break you.
No. 2292123
>>2289862That sounds serious. Mayo Clinic says to seek emerg medical care. Keep bringing this up, until they find the cause and resolve it.
Im not a Dr, but I briefly did a Google search, as Im sure you probably already have. Not trying to scare you as I have no idea if it's any of these, but results include:
- hemorrhoids,
- proctits,
- anal fissure,
- colon cancer,
- stomach ulcer
Could it be caused by diet, or some kind of kidney stone or something? Just something to consider, as I have no idea.
Is it possible to seek medical care in a different EU country? There are also online medical sites where you can ask (supposed) doctors, like JustAnswer (used once a few years back, it was ok, just get an American VPN, its not free though). Be wary of scams or creeps trying to get your private info though.
Sadly, a lot of women have to keep being persistent in bringing our medical situation to attention, in order to actually get the medical care that we should have received the first time we ever mention our symptoms.
Wishing that things turn out the best they can for you nona. Stay strong.>>2289862