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Go ahead and trauma dump
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Yes let's just follow the law and vote for a better tomorrow! Politicians are our friends, keep calling your senator! Democracy! I'm sure that will work and the laws that already exist will suddenly stop only existing for poor underprivileged people.
Anyway I'm making a change.org petition to bring back the guillotine, come sign.
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Fucking cringe. I just started a job, I have a few coworkers I hang out with, two of them are 2 years younger than me I'm 25, almost 26, one is 19/20 and he's higher in corporate hierarchy than me. No one knew my actual age and everyone assumed I'm like 20/21, but today we had a conversation about birthdays and one of them asked me directly what year I was born and I couldn't lie. I feel so bad about the fact I'm the oldest of the group, yet at the same time I'm the most inexperienced and naive. I never had a serious job before, I never had friends, I never drank alcohol or smoked (they smoke weed), I didn't have your typical teenage/20something person's life with parties, going out with friends and shit, I never had sex, I was a neet, I'm shy and autistic as fuck, I don't talk much, I don't have any anecdotes to tell. My behavior doesn't match my age at all. I'm scared they will treat me differently now, they will think I'm dumb etc. God I wish I hadn't gone to that car with them, but I had no one else to take me home and it was already midnight. I want to die. I don't really have anyone else to hang out with, our department is really small; there are two 30 year old guys, one of which is a junkie and the other one is my superior and I don't feel comfortable talking to him; three women in their 50s, one 30 year old woman who doesn't spend her free time with anyone but her bf, and those three people in their early 20s. I can't really fit in anywhere. I wanted to experience the youth I never had. I know it's immature to care about such things but I am immature
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it annoys the shit out of me that kendall's daughter on succession does not look anything like him or rava. are we supposed to think that she's adopted or that rava cheated?
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kek sorry for reference they're characters on the show succession
You're saying that if a 20 year old hasn't smoked weed it's no problem but if that person was 25, they'd be judged for it? The age difference isn't significant enough to matter and the things OP worries about specifically are trivial. Lots of people don't party or have a long work history by 25.
I'm nearly 30 and shy af, still live at home, celibate etc I know I'll be judged for it by some people but if I already get along with someone it's not an issue. I have my reasons and don't mind explaining myself if anyone questions it.
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my boyfreind of four years wascheating on me bascailly
the entire time i dont know how to feel or what to do i odnt konw why this happened to me it just hurts som uch im sorry
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My friend added me into a group chat with some acquaintances I’m not too close with and they’re planning a day to hang out tomorrow.. I haven’t talked in the group chat since it’s been created (a few hours) and now I get the feeling they forgot about me.. I’m also too scared to reply rn since I feel like it’s too late. I feel like I should reply, but at the same time, I guess it’s ok if they forget about me and do it without me? Idk I don’t want get in their way because they seem so close.. I don’t wanna be left out if I do go, Fuck I wish I wasn’t such an autist.
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I feel like I have a better grasp of my physical appearance but my personality still sucks and idk what to do about it. I wanna date and make more friends but I'm stuck around people I don't really mesh with and I don't know where to find people more like me besides imageboards
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I stumbled on a video the other day, on the 500 most streamed songs on Spotify and there were music videos to accompany each song, and I was appalled at how hyper-sexualised they've become. There has to be a girl shaking her ass in skimpy clothing every five seconds, it's depressing and disturbing af. I didn't even know it had gotten this bad, it's pretty much soft core porn at this point, hell maybe even more explicit. I hate that this is expected of female artists, I hate how it gives the impression to young girls that this is what you need to do to feel "empowered" and "feminist", how you get success and fame. I hate the amount of shit women have to deal with in this world.
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I have pondered over this too. I hate how oversexualized everything is. I want it to stop already.
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I understand. Since the pandemic I’ve been even more isolated than ever before.
Sure I have my spouse but I’m a neet who doesn’t use FB. we just moved to a new country so besides imageboards I have no one else to talk to.
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Moving to a new home has been mentally exhausting.
>told by sellers that they would not be leaving refrigerator
>go buy nice new fridge at Best Buy
>get keys to house
>turns out sellers did leave their dingy fridge
>suddenly husband and FIL harping on me to cancel the Best Buy order
>I half don't want to do it because the appliances are gross, old, and will require me cleaning
>also not sure if BB will even refund me since I took out their credit card and paid $1k out of pocket and I'd need the money back in my actual bank
>I'm made to feel guilty like a frivolous spender
>as I'm spearheading more things, I ask husband to financially contribute
>not perform the labor, just financially contribute to supplies and whatnot and esp since we still have to order more furniture
>he suddenly becomes antsy about money for no evident reason and whines when I ask
>he claims expenditures but I know damn well he hasn't spent much because I'm the one who has spent the most
>I know what he had leftover from closing costs
>ask him where the money went
>gives me a poorly explained reason, tells me he used some to pay off some debt which sounds like a half truth
>I let that shit go
>"You're going to be really mad at me. But I spent $600 on a limited edition release of a typewriter."
He better make like the next JK and write a huge moneymaker the second he gets that expensive piece of shit!! We don't even have all our furniture ordered yet and there he is spending frivolous. I bet he won't tell his dad what he purchased, but he's the first to rat on me to make me look like a silly woman for spending money on a fridge that I thought we needed. I'm not going to press this, because I intend to use this situation as leverage if I ever buy something for myself in the future. If he DARES bitch at me for anything I buy, I know I can use this instance to shut it down.
I'm too exhausted to make it a hill for me to die on, but this can be useful later.
More shit has happened than this, but this is the one that makes me feel drained the most because if the shoe were on the other foot, I'd have been demonized. Years ago when I was into j-fashion and depressed, I bought a $250 dollar dress from a release on my personal credit card. At the time, I rented with an ex. He was extremely angered by my purchase and went to vent about me to his girl friends about what I had done because I wasn't working as much at the job I hated so how dare I. I wound up reselling the dress for what I paid but not before I was made to feel like a fucking asshole for it. I'm not saying I was being financially responsible, but at least I wasn't a new homeowner needing to buy a bunch of new shit and then claiming I had no money to my wife.
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Trying to psych myself up. If I do it and do everything perfectly, no matter which way things end up, things will be easier. Either I'll be forced to accept that I'm fated to be in the world and I'll try harder, or I'll die and never have to worry about it again. It seems scary, but it's just like falling asleep. I know that sounds too nice to be true, but when I was close to death, I was half dreaming about being a French mother driving her kids around in a sunny suburban place. It was nice, until I was revived in a hospital next to somebody screaming their head off.
What I'm hoping is that my consciousness passes through to a parallel universe again like last time I tried, but to one where I am loved and healthy with a good job that I enjoy and a great quality of life and absolutely no brain rot. Maybe one where I was never abused or anything, I was just a nice person who didn't know about any of this stuff. That would be really nice, haha
Oh, and also the thread pic is unsatisfying. Actually, the last one was ugly, too. Even if it was a Bacon.
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I had a best friend growing up that I was fiercely competitive with (and she with me). Long story short this made our relationship super toxic and we would have giant fights over goddamn anything. She was sheltered growing up and I had a rough childhood, so I was already super jealous of her in general and the way we dealt with it was very different. I was very abrasive to everyone even if they're trying to help while she would constantly victimize herself to our group of friends and this caused me to be pressured by literally every one in our friend group to apologize first because I "should be the bigger person", even if she's the one at fault, and this in turn made me even MORE abrasive and hostile and eventually no one in our group cared to try and play middle man anymore.
Anyway, obviously this isn't sustainable and as soon as we hit adulthood we drifted apart, but not without one last attempt from me to try and fix things. She basically told me "no, nothing you say can fix anything anymore because you've wronged me too many times" when most of our fights come from her saying stupid shit to me like picking on my bf's appearances for no reason or subtly throwing a jab at me for not wearing make up to meet her because I rushed out of the house to meet her while she was having a mental breakdown. She does it in the worst way possible, too. ("Oh I would never be able to leave the house without make up haha") Bitch, I should've just let you have your stupid breakdown if you're going to act like this.
It drives me insane because whenever she was upset with something I did she wouldn't tell me straight, she would play victim about it to our friends and then they would come tell me "hey you've made her very upset by doing this can you go apologize to her" and I would feel like a crazy bitch trying to get people to understand my side of the story. It would be fair if it was shit like me insulting her or whatever but she gets upset over the most milquetoast shit like me kicking her out of our party in game when she said she wants to play with her bf. How are you going to join his party if I don't kick you out first? What the fuck? And then she has the gall to say I'm trying to antagonize her when I tell her I'm upset she belittles my work when I always went to her for advice for it. (I sell my art at cons, finally got 5 minutes to walk around cause sales were going well, say hi to her and comment on how I finally got the time to walk around, she misunderstands the comment and say "oh you're really free now because all your merch looks the same?" i.e no one wants to buy your art cause all of it looks the same?)
This lack of closure has made me super bitter. I've blocked her everywhere and deleted all my social media partly because of her. I wish I got some sort of justified closure so I could move on and not think about her in bitterness every few days. It's already been two years. I'm sure she doesn't think of me at all. I feel pathetic. It also doesn't help that one of our mutuals are super close to both of us and doesn't want to burn bridges, so she doesn't acknowledge how shitty I've been treated by this friend. Our clique basically broke off contact with me cause I fell out with her. I'm not looking forward to cons reopening in my area and having to see her again. I feel so pathetic being hung up on this after so long when she probably doesn't even give half a shit.
You’re both right.. I am definitely just doomsday in my head all the time about minor changes. I always think the worst when things happen. And I texted him and he was immediately like “no sweat I was so tired last night xyz”
Thnx for keeping me in check fair anons
This post triggered
me so much kek I had the same dynamic with a best friend…>She was sheltered growing up and I had a rough childhood>I was very abrasive to everyone even if they're trying to help while she would constantly victimize herself
Same. Somehow along the way I assumed the protector role of the relationship while they got to be total pissy baby emotional vampires. Funny thing is she’d try to skinwalk me when interacting with other people.>She basically told me "no, nothing you say can fix anything anymore because you've wronged me too many times" when most of our fights come from her saying stupid shit
Yeah I too tried to fix it multiple times but it’s impossible to maintain the bpd bullshit she demands. Bitch gets mad about me not being constantly available when she melts down over scrotes. When I did get upset and tell her her problems are self-inflicted, she held on to every “mean” thing I said and victimized herself harder.>It drives me insane because whenever she was upset with something I did she wouldn't tell me straight, she would play victim about it to our friends
Fuck this shit too. Why do they do this?? If she vagueposting online it’s a coin toss about me or her bf doing something wrong.>throwing a jab at me for not wearing make up > gets upset over the most milquetoast shit like me kicking her out of our party in game when she said she wants to play with her bf>say I'm trying to antagonize her when I tell her I'm upset she belittles my work>This lack of closure has made me super bitter. I'm sure she doesn't think of me at all. I feel pathetic.
Okay the cunt is an actual psycho and hated your guts. Mine at least lovebombs me to death on her off time. You have everything to gain by losing her permanently.
But yeah I understand the bitterness after such a long time. Friendship breaks your heart in such a different way that not enough people write songs about… I get bouts of thinking about her and would go through the full cycle of grief in a day. I thought I was in love with her. It’s whatever. Some people were only ever meant to be in our lives to teach us harsh lessons. I hope you get surrounded by friends who are well adjusted.
My niece is 2 years old and I honestly can't stand her sometimes lol I know kids are hard but my brother and his wife don't put the necessary limits on her and it's annoying. For example if you say "no" she will inmediately throw all the toys in her table on the floor in revenge, sometimes she even laughs at you if you get angry. I really don't know how they do it, when I come over I'm always really hard with her and sometimes she responds but not too much since she's used to getting her way (she inmediately runs to mommy with fake tears to get coddled). She has drawn on every goddamn wall of the living room because "who cares we were going to paint anyway". Including a paiting I did that I left at their apartment (I get not noticing the first scratch but they let her keep drawing on it after that). They are just sending all the wrong messages with her, just fucking discipline her! I feel bad because I'm just not a kid person so lately I just don't want to deal with her, like I'm one of those people that takes it personally. If she throws something at me, I'm like bitch you're not getting it back, deal with it kek.
I'm never having kids with any scrote. They all default to "I work you do everything else, oh but also work because we're equals now" and my brother is no exception. He clearly wants to be the patriarch but he doesn't even make enough to pay all the bills, and my sil has to remind him of everything like a child so what's the point? All women just fall into having to baby their husbands too.
And this is super personal and I know it's normal to breasfeed up to 2 years old but I find it so gross when a kid that can already walk/talk literally grabs and undresses their mothers in front of you like she's their property. It just irks me when I see it.
That's just millenial parenting in the West. They want to "do better" than their parents did with them and try to be the kid's friend. The kid then walks all over them and throws tantrums to get what it wants because they think yelling at it and disciplining is is uwu abusive
None of my relatives had any issues tard wrangling their kids but that's because in my country people know you have to be a child's parent first until they're grown.
Thank you kind anons, I’m currently trying to get ECT done with free insurance and not admitting myself to a place island it’s kind of hell. I’m gonna just keep on “waiting” as long as I can, I’m fortunate enough that I won’t have too many more stressors since I have people that are able to care for me. (Hopefully I won’t make them do it much longer, become independent)
Though separately I wanna say, another anon I wanna thank is who brought up the word Dyspraxia in some thread, probably a couple weeks back. The word made me curious so I googled it and I think its 100% is something I have. I struggled with learning disabilities throughout my life and had a lot of tests done but could never get a real diagnoses. “You have all these symptoms but it doesn’t match autism so idk what to tell you” was the end of any learning help I got, so I’ll be speaking with my doctors about that asap.
Ik this is lolcow & ppl will assume its the scrote that's the problem (which is the case 99% of the time so love u guys for that)
But I have severe social anxiety, bdd etc that makes me act retarded about sex even tho I love him, am VERY attracted to him & he's genuinely One Of The Good Ones. So yes I have bad relationship with my family etc etc not sure what the purpose of this post even is
You’re the same as me, even the same timeframe in my recent relationship
I say this with firsthand knowledge that you are fucking stupid for acting like this. People will like you more if you’re nicer, you realize that? That goes for relationships long and short term.
Anyway, dump him and learn to love yourself, retard. Camgirl ex kekkkk
I didn't blame him in my reply cause I got bpd vibes tbh. But regardless of who the blame lies with you're just not good for each other if you feel this way >I'm literally contemplating suicide no exaggeration
I had a guy I was desperately in love with break up with me years ago and I couldn't understand it. Our love was intense so I was honestly blindsided by it. He had more sense than me though. When we argued about relatively small things I had moments where my entire world was crashing down. In retrospect it was nutty. It took me about a decade to fully appreciate that yes it is your cue to leave if one of you tends to become suicidal over disagreements or lil bumps in the relationship. That's not healthy love.
I've never seen a partner in the same state of distress I used to be in but if I ever played a part in driving a man to want to die.. I sure would end the relationship, as an act of kindness. Overall it is kinder. Someone in that state needs to be single and getting their head in check without all the emotional ups and downs of an intsense relationship.
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Went out with a guy I found attractive on our first date. When we met up in a place requiring respirator, he was wearing a few times used mask under his nose and it somehow made me lose attraction. It's both a pet peeve of mine and he looked horrible like that, his whole nose sticking out made me realize his nose is pretty ugly. And then he started about how his astrologist adviced him to buy a goldfish and it died because it absorbed negative energy of his new flat and how he's moving for a fifth time this year because of negative energy he senses…
Jesus Christ, please, give me a normal guy. I don't want these astrology antivaxxers anymore. He's the second guy to spout shit like this. Please, at least one mentally (somewhat) stable person.
Anyone else get these out of place brackets where they isolate themselves completely and don't want to talk to anyone? Like I physicailly get annoyed if anyone talks to me or asks how I am, or my parents call me. I feel bad because I don't want to do that to people but I can't help it, like i need to disappear for several weeks until I'm less angry and sad.
Maybe I have massive hormonal issues kek I'm not sure since I don't have regular periods so I don't keep track of it
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is it just me or is hanging out with a group of men insufferable? whenever i'm outnumbered by them they're constantly trying to one-up each other with insults and it feels so tryhard and uncomfortable. is that how they always are??
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reminds me of that south park episode where the boys start noticing a girl has boobs and instantly all start fighting each other
it's so awkward
because of attenshun and race discourse. I doubt that that many people would see the movie if Anne Boleyn was white Anne Boleyn. But with black Anne Boleyn and black Ariel you basically get free marketing and discourse on twitter.
This isn't that much about representation or else they would have made an original fictional movie or used non eurocentric fairy tale or history to represent people accordingly.
>>856975>I consider myself pretty sex-aversed and i don't fall in love easily or anything but i just can't imagine being an aromantic or asexual, thinking that's just what you are instead of what you feel at the present?
This is how I feel as well. Even if I thought I was ace I wouldn't identify as it because they're so fucking annoying, and making labels up or changing their meaning every day. I've had ace/aro people try to convince me of so much bs like that demi people are also asexual (how??) or that asexual people can want sex actually because wanting to have sex with someone is different from sexual attraction (??????). And if you ask them to actually explain any of these things they obviously can't because they make no sense, they just tell you to educate yourself or that you're a bad person for iNvALiDaTiNg people>>856976>Would a white woman playing a black character be acceptable?
Obviously not anon. I'm a eurofag and don't have strong opinions on race politics either way but the reasoning behind everything you've mentioned is obvious, i know you're not actually this dense
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im fucking sick of men - why cant you just be friends with them without them projecting their fucking manic pixie dream girl fantasies on you? im lonely as shit and i thought i finally made a good friend now hes fucking simping and being annoying - im not trying to be a bitch but this guys not my type at all
Yes asexuality doesn't exist for humans. I know it's a meme that everyone thinks about sex constantly but it's literally not the case. People with dead bedrooms aren't asexual they're sexually frustrated lol. People that aren't sexually active aren't asexual they just aren't sexually active.
If I turn down sex from an undesirable it's not because I'm asexual it's because I have standards.
Sex is a choice not a lifestyle.
NTA but that's called having a low or nonexistent sex drive. And not being able to enjoy sex or sexual functions to the point where it affects negatively on your day-to-day life is as much of a problem as hypersexuality or nymphomania is.
I get that it's not as black and white as ace is completely bullshit or it's a totally valid
kweer identity, but the point still stands, i think at most it's a modifier for existing sexualities.
I know that I will get harassed again for this,but I have remembered so many instances where I have been beaten/harassed/bullied by uglier girls for my looks and I've seen some pretty autistic girls being bullied too definitely because of jealousy and because they were psychologically vulnerable, yet had something desirable (beauty).
The worst instance for me was when I got chased down the street by a very fat girl at night in a shady neighborhood and she started picking on me, telling me I'm ugly and that I walk weirdly and when I looked back at her I saw that she was a landwhale, literal morbidly obese with an ogre face. I said "you're fat" and after I said that she ran really fast and pulled me by the hair and hit me but I was lucky I had a glass coke bottle in my hand and hit her with it until she let me go and I ran. This is not the only instance, but the worst. Sometimes the stacies in my school would pick on stuff about my appearance, although they were much uglier than me. Now, I don't think I'm an extraordinary beauty. I'm a 7/10 or 8/10 if I put in effort. I also think farmers have completely fucked views over beauty standards. Farmers call Belle Delphine ugly when in the real world she objectively is a 8/10. The internet fucks your perception of beauty and what is average and what is above average and what is extremely beautiful. Everything on the internet is modified to seem perfect. Go outside and take a look, most people are kinda ugly. I also think beauty is a feeling as well, I just feel constantly deformed although I am not. It's like the way I carry my body and the way it feels, the way I percieve my body from the inside makes me feel like I am deformed and I constantly forget how my face looks like and I think I am uglier than I actually am
I know, I couldn't even take myself seriously when I wrote it. But I still stand my ground over beauty being a form of opression in certain cases. You can be targeted by hateful attacks or jealousy and if you are poor or mentally ill it is even easier to be harassed or taken advantage of over being beautiful.
For example men that seek sexual services in third world country rarely go for ugly girls and they specifically target the beautiful ones because they think they are entitled to beauty
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Don't judge your own grief by what others might think of it. It sounds like you really loved him and gave him the best life he could have had, I'm happy you had each other and that you were there for each other until the very end. I'm so sorry, it's never easy.
Yeah. I really don't know where to meet new guys other than app tbh. My friends found their bfs there but the experiences (around 4 or 5 dates) I had are terrible.
The guys were catfishes, flaky or believed in extraterrestrial conspiracies. And all of them were dumb as fuck, really unintelligent.
jesus christ, read a biology book. you just typed some dumb shit. nature doesn't have a "solution", evolution is blind to the future. and from a nature standpoint, being asexual is when a specie is able to reproduce with only one parent.
this is exactly my vent, some of you drop words like 'nature' and 'evolution' without even basic ideas of evolutionary theory. another jordan peterson in the making.
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I'm devastated. I invited my coworker for a coffee, we were supposed to go this saturday. Then I changed my plans and I asked him if we can go on sunday instead. He didn't seem to have a problem with that. He said he will come to my town since I have problems with transportation, he seemed shy but rather interested. We didn't see each other at work on friday. Yesterday I sent him a message asking him if he's still going out with me today but he didn't answer me. Nothing. Previously I had three different people telling me he behaves like a junkie and he probably takes something heavier than just weed. He mentioned he can't sleep at night, he often seemed shaky and nervous, last week he didn't come to work and said it's because his bike broke down, and everyone knew it's bullshit. But I didn't want to judge him, especially that the rumors that he's taking amphetamine were spreaded by a guy who openly hates him. Now I keep wondering, if he ignored me because he simply lost interest, or was he annoyed because of the fact I changed our plans, or maybe he drugged himself on saturday night and wasn't even in a state allowing him to answer me. I don't know. I feel terrible either way. I never asked out a guy before, I didn't have any experience with men in general, and I was anticipating our meeting so much. And he just treated me like this. I wonder what he's going to tell me tomorrow. If he even says anything.
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I just read a weird fucked up manga and I couldn't stop reading it, it was like witnessing a car crash, you just can't look away. I think I just traumatized myself and I feel like barfing. Jesus Christ.
It might be that his days off are his getting wasted days, maybe he planned to keep it sober for a bit on saturday to keep your date but then once that fell through he couldn't hang on and binged whatever his usual vice is and is either still high or resting after the high .
If he is a junkie you'll be avoiding a world of longer term pain by having this fall through tbh. Still.. sorry that you're stuck without a clear answer.
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If I have to take SSRIs forever to function in society, I'd rather just kill myself honestly
dodged bullet, nonnie
That's how I felt when I read Suck it by Kago Shintaro. I still think about it and feel sick sometimes. Curious anons reading this, look up a synopsis or something, don't read it.
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It means nothing. I read that that study touting a WHR of 0.7 as perfect/ideal didn't actually account for the appearance of reduced bodyweight. Newer studies adjusted for size and shape suggest that actually shape doesn't matter so much, but men find a BMI of 19 to be the most attractive in a woman.
None of it matters anyway, though. Why should we base our relationship with our own bodies on a study like this? It's basically a few scrotes who got together to rate terrible drawings of women (picrel) on their fuckability, on a scale of 1-10. I've never seen "scientific" scrutiny of men's bodies like this, much less men worrying about what an irrelevant shitty study said once.
It's laughable, nonnie
. You're probably beautiful, but whether you are or not, that has no bearing on your worth as a person. It's not said enough, and especially hard to remember on a site like this.
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this really put things into perspective. thank you. sometimes i just have a hard time dealing with having an undefined waist, it is basically the epitome of womanly attractiveness and the WHR plays into it a lot so i overreacted.
I spend so much money and effort on sustaining an attractive appearance, living healthily and generally being a nice person, but it is too much effort for a man who doesn't shower daily, consumes sugar and alcohol regularly, does not exercise nor sleep sufficient and whose dick I allow near me to at least take an STD test so I do not have to be concerned about having everything I saved myself for ruined by some scrote. I am spending so much money just to visit him for a week because anything is better than living where I am right now and I am finally legally allowed to make these decisions. But I don't have a job because covid keeps screwing me over and my living situation is making actual growth and recovery difficult. I have sperged about this in the past, but I seriously can't live here anymore. I can't let my life continue to be ruined like this. And I understand that being pretty and well groomed and all of those other things increases my chances of being taken in by someone and to be taken care of. I am just so tired of this. I have very little money and everything seems to keep going wrong when I am just trying my best to survive and heal and become a healthier person with a healthy lifestyle. I am so sick of living like this. I personally also believe being natural with natural hair is best, but I am too brainwashed by pornsickness, insecurity and a need to survive that I spend €100s a month on waxing and so much time on my hair and all of these things. And I like to look pretty because I hate myself deeply. And this scrote has the audacity to say "I'll see what I can do". I am paying to come see him, I offer to help with household and whatnot, I let him kiss and touch me. He's a good guy, but this just is the cherry on top for everything I have been dealing with lately. This stuff just never seems to end. I'm so miserable. Recovery is so difficult in an environment like this. One day I will be better, but right now… Just why did he have to do this. Why why why why. Am I not good enough? HE DOESN'T EVEN SHOWER DAILY. I shower every day, I do my hair nicely without ruining it, I wear make-up, but it is a natural look with only two things used, I dress elegantly but sufficiently provoking, but not fast fashion and I know how to sew, and I eat healthily and work out, and I am always careful of others. And I like these things, I think they are important and I like to look nice and this all fits my lifestyle and general aesthetic. But to then have some scrote with so much more money than I, who does not shower every day and does not exercise, who eats poorly, to respond to me this way.. Who do people think they are? I can't even cancel the trip, I won't get a refund. I am just so disgusted and frustrated with everything. How quickly things change and how hellish things can remain. From birth I have been in this hellhole and I am sick of it. I was just a child, why didn't people care, why didn't they see, why didn't they notice. Why wasn't I deserving of love? Why was I deserving of hatred, neglect, violence, blame, shame, manipulation, poverty? I don't take any of these questions seriously and know the answers. I read a lot about this topic and am very passionate about growing, healing, recovering and ultimately building a healthy life for myself despite my past. But I still have these emotional and irrational moments. I am not fully healed and I am still stuck in the household that keeps me down and enables these patterns I am trying to transform. Just, gee whiz…
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What is it about foreign but simple names that make people go full retard?
My surname is one syllable and very similar to Koi but people almost always mispronounce it similarly to Ko. Well where does the I go?! Phonetically read it, goddammit
Couldn't find a synopsis, so I just read it. It's very fucked up. Just when I thought it was over and couldn't get any worse, it pressed on. I guess it's a good metaphor for male sexuality and how coomerism progresses, though.
Also, sorry, but it's a special kind of funny to have read some anons complaining about how fucked up Killing Stalking and other edgelord BL/fujo shit is because it has stalking and that the author must hate herself because women are killed in it, then to have read this shit right after. Like…this is what scrotes make. We'll never be able to "hate ourselves" even 1% as much as men hate us.
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thank god I’m naturally a celibate
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samefag but judging by this, and the descriptions of some of the scenes on the Wikipedia page, and
the screencaps of the scenes, I can see why..
Probably the puppy stomping and letting all of the pedophiles abusing and raping the girl and crossdressing boy look like poor victims
to another pedo wizard, as well as all the body horror gore.
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I have a lot of hair, my hair is fine but there's so much of it! I have worn it in a bun, braids or down all throughout the heatwave, but I am so self conscious of my hairline. I have a high forehead but I am sick, it fucks with my hormones so last year I lost a huge amount of hair and my hairline is even more fucked. I feel like it makes me look like a tranny, I feel like people are staring because my hair is dark and my scalp is stark white, my mom says it's not even noticeable but she's my goddamn mom. Not my biggest issue but I'm so anxious over it, I never wear it up because of traction but this heat is killing me and aaaaaaaaaAa fuck
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Internet validation is one hell of a drug. I'm getting second hand embarrassment from watching a woman I went to high school with try to act like a teenager. I'm not sure if she's mentally regressing or not coping well with getting older. Her tiktoks are a mixture of desperation and "how do you do fellow kids." I haven't talked to her in years due to the friend group drifting apart. She genuinely makes me sad because I thought she was doing better. I think she desperately needs to unplug from the internet. I can see her deciding to do an OF as a way to be "empowered". I really hope I'm wrong.
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I wish I could comprehend sexuality in a normal way, instead of being a sex-repulsed retard. Libfems had me thinking I was asexual until I cut ties and realized women turn me on, I'm just too braindead to actually fuck them. Radfems aren't much help either, because the scrutiny level to be considered a lesbian is so fucking high in the context of a society that trains girls from birth to obsess over men and being interested in them. Never kissed or had sex with a man, never even hugged or held hands with one, and I've admitted to myself I've never been physically attracted to any guy I've "dated" (even while "with" them), but I've "dated" more men than women. Exclusively LDR online, and I've never actually been on an actual date with one. But, fuck it! That's enough to be "bi", right? Back before I knew myself, I went on multiple outings that could be considered dates with other women (all of whom were or turned out to be lesbians), but I was too retarded to think of them as such. I've held hands, cuddled, and touched boobs with other women. I miss exactly 0 of the men who have left my life, even the kindest of them, but I feel a soul crushing weight when I think of even the worst of the women I've left behind.
What really fucks me up are my fantasies. They're mostly M/F, but I'm not the woman, or the man, and I don't actually visualize the man. It's just a woman being penetrated by a man(?) that isn't there. If I force myself to imagine myself in the fantasies, it's exclusively F/F. If I try to imagine myself having sex with a man, or clearly visualize a man's full body, I have a panic attack. I think this heteronormative and porn-addled society ruined me. I wish I could snap my fingers and just turn off my germaphobia and autistic confusion. Even if other people didn't accept me, at least I would know what I actually am. I'm tired of being a confused freak.
It also doesn't help that the only times
some men occasionally stop harassing me is if I tell them I'm a lesbian, and some trannies only sometimes leave me alone if I say I'm asexual. Maybe I should just give up on ever having a relationship, I'm not a cohesive enough person to work it out.
i get your frustration nonny
but i also think you're getting too wrapped up in the pressure of fitting all of your desires (both irl and fantasy) into one perfect package when in reality it just doesn't matter. yes, society focuses heavily on these black and white labels so the pressure is there, but your sex life is yours. maybe some of the confusion and pressure of trying to figure out all of these nebulous things is what is making sex irl intimidating for you. shift your focus to desire and pleasure and cut out the noise and i think you might have an easier time.
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i just quit the retail job I’ve been at for the past year, and been having fun at bc I really liked my coworkers, but of course of its absolutely shitty managers, specifically one scrote tonight, had to ruin it for me.
After we closed, 2 managers (1 male and 1 female) held a meeting and were like today we had clothes stolen (keep in mind this is like a MAJOR retailer). They began to call out specific girls who’s sections were robbed, because they were going to go get their returns/clothes people decided they didn’t want at the register and put them back onto the sales floor, and made those girls cry for doing their jobs. Back when our dressing rooms reopened in May, there always had to be 2 people in there: one to help out customers and one to sort and bring clothes back out onto the floor to avoid situations like this. But of course instead they want to put 9000 responsibilities on us and save as much money as possible so they cut that role. If they didn’t cut that role, what happened today could’ve been prevented. Or if they had more people on the floor, loss prevention would be easier. I spoke up and said that I obviously don’t know the logistics of it all and they have to work with payroll but situations like this only highlight the pressures we deal with when roles keep getting cut and we’re severely understaffed at times. All the girls agreed with me.
Instead my scrote manager wanted to go off for the next 15 minutes and derail the conversation. He told me if I felt pressured maybe I needed more training when I was literally one of their best employees and consistently perform well. Okay whatever, I know I don’t need training and he’s just trying to make me look like the bad guy. After the meeting I spoke in the back with the female manager just to reiterate that what I said wasn’t whatever the male manager was going off about and that I meant no ill will, just I needed to say what a lot of us were feeling. We start to understand each other’s POVs better until the male manager walks in and tells me “nonnie go back to the floor and do your job.” I’m like??? you see me talking to the other manager not some random associate here. And he was like “okay so your gossiping? I’m going to have to write you up for that”. I told him to not even start whatever he was on about but instead he decided to spend the next 30 minutes bitching at me. At the end of it I was like see you guys really try to push the family agenda here (this week is literally employee appreciation week lmao) but then when we say something you shut us down and turn the whole situation into something it’s not. So instead of replying to my point of course, he just said “nonnie, go back on the floor and do your job.” So I said okay, maybe it’s not my job anymore, I quit. And IMMEDIATELY both of them backtracked.
The female manager was like wait no, please think about it, you’re a great worker, and I would hate to see you go. And the male manager was like wait that wasn’t my intention. Okay, so this is how you treat a GREAT worker then? I just said if I’m feeling disrespected and not heard right now- and I wasn’t in the past when in March I had to file a sexual harassment report- that’s a WHOLE story in itself and I had to take a month off work because of the mental damage lmao- what am I supposed to think about? I can do so well all the time, but the second I bring up a legitimate problem, all of that goes out the window. What am I supposed to do? go home and reflect on how disrespectfully he’s talking to me and treating me? And then decide I don’t want to quit and respect him after this? No. of course he used that as an opportunity to spout shit for the next 20 minutes again, so I just told the female manager to hand me the resignation document.
She was upset to see me go, and even cried a little bit, I feel bad for how it played out with her, especially because even SHE remarked that the conversation was going better before the male manager inserted himself into it for no reason. As I was signing the paper I made it clear I liked the people at my job and didn’t necessarily want to do this but I needed to respect myself and stand up for myself in this situation and would not be demeaned the way the scrote was trying to. the second my resignation was official he let out a sarcastic “awww” and then proceeded to follow me and try to stop me from saying bye to my ex coworkers. From that point on I just didn’t engage or acknowledge him and said bye anyways while he followed me around and then when I was walking out the door he sarcastically told me to have a good night and get home safe. lmfao. I wanted to curse his 30 year old bitch ass out so bad but just held it in. And the fact I’m not the only person who’s quit cause of him is a reflection in itself. I wasn’t planning on staying much longer (was planning on leaving September-early November) but it’s just unfortunate that’s the way it went and I didn’t get to properly say bye to my coworkers who I honestly liked, but I don’t regret standing up for myself. I’m so tired of fucking men, especially men in higher positions who think they can talk to women however they want and we’re just supposed to take it.
Is this the one where the guy takes polaroids of dead women's heads and takes notes about how it feels to put his dick in them, like a little journal?
I think I read it a while ago, but I'm not sure.
Hormonal contraceptives are horrible for your body, if you want clear skin for the price of your thrombosis chances skyrocketing, possible mood swings, depression, urinary tract inflammation and so on, go for it.
They're only useful if you are actually ill and need them (cysts and so on).
You’ll need to fumigate, use a crazy powerful vacuum on every surface and in every nook and cranny, them fumigate again. Maybe they will be gone then.
They will proliferate in the space between a baseboard and the carpet or the seams of a mattress. Wash every piece of fabric in the room and put it through a couple of hot cycles in a dryer. Fumigate shoes, ornaments, handbags, and books in baggies, and vacuum afterwards again.
People have full blown nervous breakdowns over those evil bugs. Hope you can kill em all.
>>857732>Hope you can kill em all
I feel like we've done everything. The clothes and the curtains were washed on 60C and are stored in another room. The bed's headboard was take apart and inspected, nothing. Bedframe has nothing. We wrapped the mattress with cellophane so if they are inside of it, they will suffocate. Books were put in the freezer for weeks. Every other item has also been inspected and also taken to another room. The only place we couldn't reach was behind the radiator. There's a deep crack there in the wall and it's like one step away from my bed. I literally can't imagine them hiding anywhere else. But even if they were there, everything around the radiator was treated with chemicals, they should have been in contact with them. I literally can't wrap my head around it. I'm currently thinking of a way I could pour diatomaceous earth in the crack but it's almost impossible to reach it
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Blond boys are so cute. I hope I can get another boyfriend soon and I hope he is blond.
Apparently my old best friend from HS has a kid that is almost 3. I feel guilty for how it went back then, I basically stopped talking to her abruptly for no reason. I could never think about her without feeling like a bad person. I'm glad she's doing ok>>857035>preferably a pair
It isn't worth it to keep more than one unless you want to risk them fighting, hamsters are best kept solitary for their safety. They aren't the same as rats
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my roommate chose to not get vaccinated, continued partying and hooking up with strangers and now got covid and is forced to quarantine for two weeks. i’m thankfully fully vaccinated but now cannot go home for two weeks without ending up in quarantine myself.
despite this my roommate is also planning to travel abroad in a couple of weeks which means he will again have to quarantine for two weeks after he returns and i will, once again, be unable to stay in my own home. he doesn’t see anything wrong with this and has the nerve to be upset with me because i refused to run all of his errands while he’s locked up in our flat. fucking helll
I have so many possessions and realising how fucking retarded some of the shit I hoard is. Not like anyone fucking cares more than a few seconds if I ever show or mention anything from my past. And I'm somehow suppose to matter when I'm dead about a legacy? Bitch I'm alive now and I could die and remain undiscovered for days or weeks. And honest to god, I am more embarrassed about people ruffling through my possessions after I'm gone without me playing the role of curator and explaining contextual significance. I'm the type to destroy a diary if I've wrote too many cringe entries.
In a bizarre way I think about the concept of yolo often. Life sucks. So many expectations and goalposts expected of everyone to live a full life. And for what reason when everything has a price to pay and honest to god why does everything cost so fucking much money?? And why is there so much red tape for everything? And why do I have to prove my worth and jump through hopes to land an interesting job or even a menial job? Why do people spend their days serving others and working for barely any pay off yet there's a minority of millionaires and billionaires on this planet that get to treat it like a playground and decide what the rest of us are allowed to do. Why do governments keep secrets from citizens? Why aren't we allowed to know what other landmarks/relics other countries have? Why is intelligence and data so coveted? Why the fuck all the secrets and oppression? Aren't we all intelligent to figure out we need shelter food and water to live. Why can't we as a collective society all just fucking vibe and chill and make having fun the meaning of life. Like fuck if we were all happy and content being the Labour force when we get the direct benefit wouldn't be such a fucking slog. Why all the anger in the world?? I'm fed up too
late reply, but he's letting you cover the expenses of coming to visit him while you are unemployed (you said he's not hurting for money), he's an unwashed slob who eats like shit and is putting his unwashed penis inside of you. you say he is a "good guy" but he sounds like a gross low tier choice of partner. you are almost certainly out of his league, but you are dealing with unresolved trauma and he can tell from the dynamic of your relationship (i understand it may be a hookup, but still) that he doesn't have to lift a finger or treat you with respect.
i'm not going to blame you for this, but it seems that whatever you are struggling with from your childhood and upbringing makes you kind of a people-pleaser and leads to overcompensating. you are over performing for the sake of a man who is letting you eat into your savings so that he can put his unwashed, dirty, stinky penis inside of you. of course he doesn't care enough to get an STD test. he doesn't respect you. i understand that this sounds unkind, i am not even one of those "dump him" anons who goes off about people's bfs or fuckbuddies on here, but like… you are kind of pulling a gimpgirl here and i feel the need to be straight with you, because that is unkind to yourself, what you are doing for this man.
you are paying (while unemployed) all of this money so that you can be the bangmaid of a man who doesn't wash himself. there's no way to change that dynamic once the tone has been set. he knows he doesn't have to wash his penis or get an STD panel because he does not care about you or respect you. he may pretend he does if you confront him or pull away or try to end things, but that's "resource management". he won't want to lose you, but that doesn't mean he appreciates you. a man who actually cares about you and respects you will never act the way this man is behaving.
i don't say this to give you a hard time, but because you shouldn't let childhood trauma and desperation to escape your living situation cloud your judgement
that's how people end up in deeply abusive
live-in bangmaid relationships with no fallback place or recourse to escape.
God you just jogged a vietnam flashback. In my old apartment there were these college dudes living above our(my friend and mine's) apartment.
Every single night, well after 12am, they kept making ungodly noises. Screaming and laughing, playing instruments, the guy whose bedroom was above mine rolled his desk chair around etc.
The one time my friends and I had a boardgame night at our place those fuckers had the audacity to come complain about us being too loud. It was 10pm, saturday night. Those guys fucked around with ukuleles and desk chairs 3am on weekdays and somehow talking and laughing on weekends way before normal bed time was too much.
I should've frozen my pee and shoved those pee cubes down their mail slot.
my family has always had love so i don't know why you would assume there would be any lack of it that would justify cheating… also>implying people cheat because lack of love
people cheat because they're shitty people
. That completely touched my lizard brain, was not expecting this. I live alone but my partner buys me the booze daily because in a fit of wanting to stop, I cut up my ID so I couldn't buy. I just need to break up w him, get my shit together for the both of us, and move on. Addiction is awful and I don't want to be awful. Thanks for the sympathy. Reading the Luna threads really makes me want to kick my ass out of addiction because this learned helplessness is infuriating. I hope u have a good day today ty.
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i wish you the best and i hope you are able to get away from your enabler so you can become happier with yourself ♥
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well i'm officially back to my pre-quarantine weight. i'm so angry but i can't be because i did it to myself
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I know no one cares but I have to vent. He came up to me today and said his friend invited him over on saturday and they started drinking and then he lost his phone so he couldn't respond to my message. He said the thing about losing his phone to three other people. He also mentioned we can meet another time but he said it so quietly I almost didn't hear it, I probably had a pissed off face despite saying it's ok. I don't know if he felt guilty, I don't know if he cares at all, he basically didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. He's so open and chatty towards everyone BUT me. I don't understand it. I feel like fucking trash. My female coworker said I'm above him in terms of looks and I should find myself someone better looking than him, I didn't think he ignored me like this because he finds me unattractive or something. But now I'm starting to feel like I'm fucking ugly and stupid if someone like him doesn't want me. I feel like I will always be alone
he's so pathetic lol
sounds like you dodged a bullet
hmm. I have a mental block about planning for the future, so I coped for a while by getting into astrology. My natal chart waxed lyrical about these supposedly passionate love affairs, but I've had a very dry unsatisfactory year in that department.
The molester was a douche, yes! but he never suffered for his acts. Literally no later than 10 minutes after it happened he was boasting to his mates (we were at a party) that I let him finger me and I got labelled a slut for the rest of my highschool experience. I didn't even realise I was molested until I left school. He was my first kiss which I treated like losing my virginity. Like I wasn't just going to kiss any boy! He was a very deliberate choice. We dated for 5 months which seemed like an eternity at our age and he was getting pushy about going further than kissing. I thought everything was relatively normal and with how everything in my life went, I would still be interested to see what that dick can do. Which maybe makes me awful lol.
and the haircut matters because I look like my mother.
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I HAVE BEEN USING EYESHADOW PRIMER AS CONCEALER FOR A WEEK? A WHOLE ASS WEEK?
Anon, please dump a bucket of your choice of liquid out the window next time he's under there
But as quickly as possible before he looks up, ok? Alternatively, cook up some cheap pasta or rice and add decaf instant coffee powder- It will turn the rice or pasta (the goal is a cheap, soft lumpy food) brown- mash it up thoroughly, put it in a jar and smash the jar on the sidewalk in front of your window before his usual smoke time. If anyone's around, act really worried like it was an accident and run inside like you're looking for help cleaning it up. It will look like diarrhea (plus glass, yay!) without smelling horrible. He'll be forced to stand somewhere else unless he wants to stand in questionable brown mush and glass. Hopefully no animals will be attracted to the coffee smell and all the glass, but if they are you won't like accidentally caffeinate a colony of raccoons or anything. Fuck that guy, gross smells in my home from other people are my pet peeve.
i'm sorry you're going through this. actually i'm in a "new area" too but i've been here for years at this point and it's so extremely hard to meet people you click with in a place where you know nobody, there's nobody to connect you to somebody to connect you to somebody, no starting point.>>858408
oh i know it's ok, i don't think we have to be friends or anything, i am just more annoyed that last time i tried to hang out with one of them she acted very unabashed and basically implied that it's all my fault we're not friends anymore because it's not allowed to dip out of peoples lives. i just find it extremely cliquish
>>858405>it's like I'm too weird for normies but too vanilla for non-normies
god I feel you so hard
my interests are too boring and outdated for non-normies, but normies think they're too weird and autistic
>>858036>untreated mental illness, which lots of people find too taboo to talk to someone about or try to self-medicate>lots of people (especially men) are selfish and egotistical and only do what suits them, especially in the olden days when they had all the power in a marriage because the wife couldn't fight back>many people get married and have kids because it's what you're supposed to do, not out of love>many people get married out of fear of ending up alone, try to secure the first guy they see because they want a baby with someone, want someone to do their chores and take care of them, in order to not be seen as a loser>many women get married to get out of their shitty home or for a visa to get out of a shitty country
marriage or a relationship doesn't always imply love, a whole lot of people just want the low-effort regular sex, bangmaid or walking ATM
lots of men will string some girl along and make her think she's the one until someone they actually like comes along, because girls are useful and will pay half of your rent, cook for you and give you sex
the older you get the more you keep seeing it happen, even amongst your own friends, and the more jaded you become
I wouldn't think too much of it
People have a tendency to copy the ones they like or people who they look up to, or it could also be that in your quest to convince others you've inadvertently convinced her to get one too
obviously I don't have the full picture here so I could be entirely wrong and your relationship with your sister is disastrous, but I'd say to maybe not assume malice, you might play a larger part in her life than you realize.
Seeing feminine women use ‘they’ pronouns irl is such a huge trigger
(as in panic attack inducing mental crisis) for me and now that i have irl friends who are turning like this (and knowing it’s just gonna get worse) I just know I’m gonna end up killing myself soon and I don’t want my friends to feel bad about my death so I’ll make sure to leave a note saying I’m a bigot or whatever that way they won’t have to mourn me and they’ll be happy instead.
At this point having such a stupid and common trigger
means I’m just not suited to inhabit earth kek. I know it’s dumb. Feel free to encourage me.
>>858527>At this point having such a stupid and common trigger means I’m just not suited to inhabit earth kek. I know it’s dumb. Feel free to encourage me.
Don't be obnoxious, do your own dirty work. And don't forget suicide attempts fail pretty often. Ditch your friends or woke crowds if it helps you stick around. Without knowing why it triggers
you, clearly other women adopting this is due to them also adopting distorted view of what it means to be a women (female) because of internet bullshit and agps redefining the term women to fit their fetish, making other women uncomfortable with this new version. It's pretty much a new religion, terrible and absurd. If you have gender dysphoria or simar that is rough but try to learn from and get support from other masc women and not focus on dumb enbies.>I’ll make sure to leave a note saying I’m a bigot or whatever that way they won’t have to mourn me and they’ll be happy instead.
If you don't end up terfing out sooner they'll probably think you're trans and had internalized transphobia or some shit.
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This is spoiled, stupid vent that I don't have a right to make in the first place. I've been unemployed for a while and completely broke but I have a family member who supports me financially. The thing is, she only gives me money for the things she approves of, like my French lessons. So I have stuff to eat, a place to sleep in but I can't go out (she disapproves of me drinking alcohol) and only buys me clothes that she personally likes. I'm not getting any callbacks from the places I sent my applications to so I better get used to this and now I'm thinking of donating my blood plasma so I can get some money I can spend on things I want. I know I have no right to complain tho, I'm fed, I'm alive, I'm healthy, etc
Sorry in advance, not used to posting here. I just recently found out I failed my bar exam again, and I am overwhelmed: I passed through college fine, but I just feel like I'm not good enough anymore to keep going. I've already tried three times and I think it's about time to accept I'm just not good, and that I've thrown 7 years of my life to the drain. I still live with my parents and I hate it, my mother is similarly devastated and my father got angry the other day after my mother told him that he wasn't doing his part of the chores (again) and now is having one of his passive agresive benders, so I am not even allowed to be angry or sad because of my test. I don't know what do to, I have dedicated my life to studying, I feel like my entire life has been denied to me, I feel like just ending it all even though I don't want to, but I feel I don't deserve to continue like this: either I keep fruitlessly trying something and dissapointing everyone or I give up on my career and find something else somehow, even though I have nothing of value anymore. I feel so fucking worthless and envious of people who have suceeded.
Sorry if this irrelevant and you're a budding career gal but if you applied at like, retail shops and stuff like that go in during their slow times, tell them you put in an application and were wondering if the manager got a chance to look it over yet. it sounds like boomer advice but really places get apps from dozens of randoms who aren't that interested and it narrows it down if you gaf to come into the business and follow up. the manager might come out and talk to you on the spot so dress half decent. disregard if professional.
your vent is understandable, it's frustrating to not have any say in your life even when everything is taken care of.
I'm so excited to finally move out and live by myself for the first time in my life. I've always lived with my parents, roommates or currently my boyfriend (who's about to become my ex).
I'm just starting to realize how much of my stress is going to vanish once I live alone.
My boyfriend can sometimes get grumpy over really minor things, then use that as a way of releasing pent up anger over other stuff that bothers him. Recently he wanted to go for a jog, but came back inside because it started raining, and I was immediately aware of the tone in his voice being more angry than normal. While he wasn't angry at me, I felt a huge lump grow in my chest and started to worry about what he might potentially snap at me for. Like if I say or do something wrong, he'll direct his anger at me and dig up all the stuff about me that's been bothering him since the last time he snapped.
I only truly relax when he leaves our apartment and I know he's going to be gone for a few hours. As soon as I hear his keys in the door, my chest grows a little tighter.
Living alone means I don't have to deal with someone else's feelings or bad mood in my own home. It also means I don't have to worry about someone else having to deal with me either. I don't have to fear my boyfriend's silent resentment because I didn't put a dish back in the dishwasher the way he prefers, or wondering if he slammed a door behind himself because he's angry at something at work or if he's mad at me for eating chocolate(one of the things he snapped at me for was for eating a lot of food one weekend due to period cravings, he acted huffy and grumpy with me for the whole following week before he told me that was the reason).
I'm not perfect, but I certainly don't deserve to live like this. It's going to be nice to have a place to breathe and be myself, rather than living with someone where it feels like I'm walking on eggshells half the time not to ruin the peace.
Can really relate to this. I lived with a guy who would quietly seethe about things that weren't even related to me but the vibe in our apartment would sometimes be intensely uncomfortable all weekend because of it. Hellish. Similarly I'd get down sometimes and I'd ask him for a cuddle to help.. he'd lose his shit because he didn't want to comfort me and thought I should maybe quietly seethe instead? I dunno lol
Living alone 3 years now and I'm tempted to never give this up again. Even in better relationships I still cherished having the place to myself for a few hours. I don't know how couples deal with retirement.
I'm so sorry you've lived like that, but it's nice to know when someone can relate. I know so well of the vibe you're speaking of. It's gnarly. Ironically my boyfriend doesn't let me quietly seethe. If I'm upset over something, he will pester me about what's wrong and either be hurt and upset if he's the reason for it, or just inform me that I'm overthinking stuff and expect me to be in a better mood instantly.
Thank you for your reply, anon. Here's to 3 more years of splendid alone time.
I feel you, it's so infuriating, the repair men is probably feeling as awkward as you are feeling too
I'll never understand why parents feel the need to just share their kid's life story to random strangers
I remember one time I when I was hanging out with my friend in her living room, and her mother came by to chat with me and suddenly without warning she started telling me these things about my friend's brother that I had no interest in hearing both because I don't know him well and because the subjects felt incredibly personal, and it was just so extremely awkward, fortunately my friend stopped her before it could continue any further.
What made me the angriest is that she complained to them that I'm 'not the type who goes to clubs or discos so she doubts that I'm gonna meet anyone in the foreseeable future' whereas she KNOWS that I'd go ANYWHERE if I wasn't broke and unemployed. Like literally ANYWHERE.>>858786
Whoa, that's a little bit much…>>858783
They seemed to be old gossipy fucks who are dead inside
sorry you had to go through that, it honestly feels so violating when parents just share secrets like that, had to talk to my mom multiple times about how she makes me feel when she exposes me like that in front of strangers, and she just blows me off every time
It's only when I basically cut her out of my social circle and stopped sharing my life with her did she really realize how serious I was about this
>>858797>cut her out of my social circle and stopped sharing my life
Wow, I literally did the same thing and only recently got back in touch with her. Sometimes I feel like if I was her
mother and it was my job to teach her emotional intelligence or some shit
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Because my pictures weren't conform I couldn't renew my id cart and passport and since I was broke at that moment I didn't retake them the same day/week. Now I'm postponing it and I don't wanna do anything
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I took a few days off from work because of a minor surgery and wanted to give myself recovery time, but my job legit called me in last night just after i got out of OR. (like an hour later, so i was still medicated and in pain.)
Why do jobs do this? I'm tempted to take another day off and not come back
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I had a dream last night that was so fucking disturbing. I haven’t been getting adequate sleep lately because of procrastinating in school work, so I had a dream where I had a wound on my leg and for some reason it also functioned as an anus. Feces was spewing out of the wound and I had to clean up the leg wound with alcohol, it was like a demonic nightmare or something. I woke up and I can feel a sensation of the leg that was affected in my dream even though it’s purely all in my head from being disturbed and disgusted. Why would this fucking happen? Kek
oh, god, how come these people would rather put shit in their body but is afraid to be injected with vaccines or take medicine. my brother smokes cigarettes, almost to a pack a day, vapes and drinks like there's no tomorrow. if there's no meat main dish at home, he'd buy fast food and could finish several bags of chips in a single afternoon. but refuse to take the covid19 vaccine or the vitamin c supplements my mom gives him.
i won't be surprise if my brother dumps his baby to my mom or his gf and just never matures. and with his history, i won't be surprise if this baby he has with his gf won't be the last, at all. i pity his gf but she's a dumb bitch who was fine with living in my mom's place even though she and my brother have only became a couple in the later months of 2020. she's nice, i give her that, but with how much of a pig he is at home and bosses her around, she should've break things off immediately.
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I'm on the end of my ropes in a sense and I am stuck and sort of angry at everything and everyone.
I know someone form lolcow might recognize me and try attacking me again, but so that be it. I am absolutely tired from all that I had to endure and have to go through and from all the hypocrisy in the world. Everyone loves putting themselves under political labels like some anon in the unpopular opinion thread said. I think it is fine to have a theoretical political leaning if your environment does not allow you to involve yourself in charitable actions for that which you advocate for, but I have met so many people including RAD FEMS that put themselves under this label and are from first world countries with a lot of time on their hands and even money and they spend their time circle jerking in a community of people with the same opinions to masturbate their ego meanwhile, shitting on troons and so what not when they could use their time, money and privilege to actually help women!
The same with anti capitalist leftists. Some of them literally make millions by saying they are anti capitalist and live in LUXURY, not comfort. For them it is just a way of virtue signaling, of belonging to a group and making money, but it is very sick and manipulative to make money while you pretend to help others and care for them.
I am only 21 and I genuinely feel close, very close to suicide. I was involved in sex work, I am mentally ill and cannot do well in academia, although that's what I lean towards. I love writing and studying abstract ideas and theory. But it feels like absolutely all human communities are made up by narcissists and like truth does not matter. Even in Academia you have to satisfy a bunch of people and ultimately the truth is not important it's just power structures over power structures.
I don't know anons, I won't turn back to sex work although it feels like I could in a sense. If I'm not going back to academia and if I won't work and everything presuposes a huge amount of effort and sacrificing my true self why not go with the option that makes me the most money? Plus, since I had done it and there are pictures of me on the internet I feel as if advancing in any of the positions I would like to advance in is useless because people will find those pictures anyway and disown me. Why shouldn't I just work until 30 and buy an apartment? And then fuck off from everything and continue my writing?
Writing, art and philosophy are the only things that will ever truly interest me, but doing those in an academical institution feels very restrictive. I am already afraid someone will plagiarize my ideas, it happened to one of my profs in college and nobody recognized he was plagiarized by one of the most representative figures in his field. If you don't have autorithy you don't have anything. It's power struggle and power dynamics. Just watch the hypocritical leftist destroy our world by playing hand in hand with capitalism. Absolutely nobody actually fights against capitalism and corporatism anymore, they are all hand in hand.
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this is probably my period making me hella emotional so excuse me if i sound contradictory and all over the place, but i'm so tired of everyone no matter where i go talking about dating/relationships with men. I even find myself bringing it up when i run out of things to talk about and then i immediately regret it. Maybe im just bitter because i'm reaching my late 20s and never had a relationship that wasn't a situationship so that could be it. BUT men are so fucking boring to talk about. THey all fucking suck. I've talked to really hot women, really average women, below average women etc and whenever the discussion of men in regards to relationships is brought up they all experience the same fuckery just different doses. It doesnt matter how hot or rich or not hot or not rich you are 9/10 you are going to end up with a piece of shit scrote at some point. I fucking hate that society fed us this myth that there is a prince charming out there for everyone you just have to go out and find it. But like that is not true for everyone and that is oh fucking kay. I think the reason why i've been so desperate to try and get a man is because I feel left out not really having any relationship experience aside from sporadic dates and lackluster sex. But the thing is I keep coming back for more because im terrified of being alone. WHich is so stupid like who cares if you are alone?? being alone is 10x better than being with someone. You have so much ffreedom to do whatever you want plus its cheaper!.
I need to be honest with myself and realize that the reason I'm desperate to find a man is because ever since i was a kid its been shoved down my throat that romance is like a birthright and anyone that doesnt have it is deformed in some way either physically, mentally, or both. I didnt realize how much of a number its done on not only me but everyone around me. There is so much more to life than fucking men! I know this but i constantly have to remind myslef because whenever my period is approaching I get super emotional and I start craving romance only to be met with disappointment. LIke I literally had the worst sex of my life after not fucking for months last week yet i was STILL excited when he texted me the following day. Like? How do i extract my heart from my body because this shit is stupid as fuck. Not to mention whenever my favorite youtuber gets in a relationship their creativity is almost always inevitably stifled. Like men drain women of any type of individuality. I want to cry. >inb4 im a lesbian so i cant relate. GOOD FOR YOU!!!! But seriously I think I might be bi but im too scared to talk to a girl because girls actually have personalities and hobbies and i'd just feel like they could do better lol.
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I just want everything in this country to collapse or something. I recently left a job that I genuinely enjoyed because the new boss forced me out. The last straw was when she asked me "what it would take for me to finally quit". After four years of dealing with her shit and having HR do nothing about the harassment, I had a breakdown and put in my two weeks. Now I'm job searching and have only had one interview so far. I used to live in a low-cost of living area but over the past few years average rent has gone up to $2,000+/month. My boyfriend makes minimum wage and we both live with my parents. They love having us stay with them but as a 25 year old I feel so pathetic. We live in a 2 bed house and it's so small, my boyfriend and I have no privacy. I wish moving was an option but it really feels like there's no where left to go if you're poor. This shit is so depressing, I hate all the Californians and rich fucks moving over here. At this point I only see a future still stuck at my parents or living in a van.
Fellow California anon. I feel your pain. Godspeed nonnie
. You can make it through this.
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Chased off an old friend over being unable to communicate properly and make conversation, along with having mental problems and snapping at her and making her feel terrible. I don't want to make any excuses for my behavior, it was wrong of me to react so badly.
If you're reading this Homura (you related a lot to her, so using her name in place of yours), I'm sorry for being a crazy asshole and making you feel horrible. You're already going through a lot and I just added to it. I didn't talk for a few days because I was ashamed to face you & sad, not because I was angry. You did nothing to deserve how I treated you. I understand if you don't want to talk anymore, but I really wanted to apologize to you and hope you're doing OK. I hope we can still be friends. Hopefully you know who you are & hopefully you see this. Sorry for being cringe and posting an apology on lolcow of all places, but I wasn't sure where else to contact you except our main place.
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>never strain while pooping
Yeah I just took it because I felt bad for the carrier because it was so hot today and he looked like he was about to pass out right in front of my door.
Why the fuck don't people just redirect the package to the post office or choose a different delivery day if they know they won't be home?!
Hours yes but on a work day the window to spend time with loved ones is only realistically a few hours>>856314
Thanks for your words, you did well to get out of that relationship. Fortunately I'm not married or financially locked in so I can still choose to escape too if it weighs out against the rest of the positives in our relationship
That usually means he masturbates using her body whilst she disassociates or they have an open relationship
I'm sorry that happened to you anon, I'm glad you're away from him now
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Recently, re-discovered a channel I would watch back in 2017 and just found out one of the hosts fucking trooned out. I know it's an "atheist" channel and I should've seen it coming but jesus christ.
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I feel so dumb for being so naive. Like I have no grasp on how romance or relationships are supposed to work, and I think I will never understand. The other day I got zooted and clung onto a mutual friend of my best friends. I just trusted him since it was his weed and he smoked an obscene amount and functioned. I felt like we had this special bond, but a primal and platonic one, and not romantic. I was asking him to protect me (I was so gone), warm my hands, and I liked his energy so I was just around him. I felt like a cavewoman attached to a caveman that brought back some meat and pelts you know. Nothing more though. Later my friends asked me why I was flirting, and he was asking them if I was single. God I was so confused. Like yes I like him, but no I don’t want to sleep him him. Why is that (his, my friends understand me) the expectation. Now I don’t know how to act around him. Every interaction with a dude i have is a farce and I’m actually fine with it at this point. I just know it will never change, I’m just accepting my retardation. I’m just really, really, really embarrassed that I’m so naive time and time again.
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I’m really scared I’m somewhat autistic. I tell myself I’m too self aware and empathetic but I’m also really “off” (never had sex / no sex drive, major hyperfixation issues, and I just say some really retarded shit)
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I feel really and truly trapped in my life. It feels like some heavyhanded victorian novel. I'm rotting away in this too-big house where I have to cook and clean for two stupid rich boys who can barely do a thing for themselves. My bf barely looks at me anymore, I do all the chores and buy furniture on my meager salary for this stupid million-dollar house I never asked for. All I wanted was to move into a 1 bedroom I could afford and get health insurance but I'm trapped in this place where I can't even walk to the grocery store.
Every day I find myself growing more and more resentful of this new family I'm indebted to who I buy expensive clothes for just for them to mock.
I love my cat but I wish I never adopted him so I could cut my losses and move back home. I seriously might just kill myself to get out of this life.
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i didn't want to do my tasks so i just masturbated thrice in one day… i think ive become a chronic masturbator god help me
but at the same time i think im justified, my orgasms are too good, i didnt need male contact or porn. idk gals, i still feel fucking horrible and theres this sort of "good" kind of tired after an orgasm that makes you just wanna take a nap.. and then you wake up from said nap and then you just wanna do it all over again.. shit. i cant be the only one who masturbates as a form of distraction/escape
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My god I'm so fucking scared this just looks like my abusive brother and I can hear him screaming to my mom in the kitchen so this picture is just fucking me up
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I kinda want to ghost my bf even though we've been together for a year and a half.
I had some serious health news that may mean I have just 10 more years to live (it will likely be more because the prognosis has gotten better in the last couple years). So I have been having intense health anxiety.
We were sitting outside, and I said something to him about smelling toast. He replied, "That means you're having a stroke." I got really worried. Then he said, "I smell it too." He just laughed and got angry when I reacted badly because it was "just a joke."
I tried to bring it up later. First he just kept laughing at it. Then he got mad. He said, "You're always looking for things to worry about with your health, now you found something and it's all you can think about." Which is really unfair because I've been dealing with all these weird random illnesses for 6 months now, all I've tried to do is find out what is wrong.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt thinking maybe he's still processing this. It's all pretty new.
One of the more challenging things I've had to start doing is eating vegan and gluten-free. He's continues to offer me all this food I can't eat. Like he'll eat a carton of ice cream in front of me- which whatever that doesn't bother me- then he'll offer me a bite. Then another bite. Then he would shame me and say, "I was just trying to be nice. You weren't supposed to eat it."
Today he said he was going to make us eat fast food. I said, "I can't eat there." Then he said, "You can eat a salad and sugar-free drink." Which… no, I don't want a fast food salad and a soft drink.
When I told him to stop, he said, "Is this going to be how it is for the next 10 years!? I can't make any jokes? Because that's not changing. That's who I am."
And as I'm writing this, I'm only just realizing that I think 10 years part was in reference to the life expectancy thing ;—-; What the fuck.
I can't do this. I don't even want to talk to him about breaking up because break ups are stressful, and I'm trying really hard to just relax so my symptoms get under control.
I just want to stop talking to him entirely.
I’m gonna go for custody of my sisters children if she doesn’t have her shit sorted by Christmas. She won’t go to therapy, thinks medication is selective and optional, befriends exclusively crackheads, drug dealers, and BPD basket cases who usually steal her shit, and is currently defending the guy who raped her. She’s a eager of a bpd case herself and thinks that minimal insight is the same thing as being better.
She has daughters and I can’t let them live with her, hearing and seeing her do that. It’s gonna end the family, we’re only in contact with each other to help this sister out anyway, and taking her kids away from her will make her either cut me off or kill herself but I’m willing to risk her whole damn life if her kids get out safe.
I know I’d get custody, I’m kin, have a relationship with them, can quit smoking pot right now, and have a steady marriage and home. I’m scared taking them will fuck the kids up..it’s traumatic and there’s no getting around it. I’m gonna have to traumatise them to protect them and that’s fucked.
She’s letting the guy who raped her while she was on a bunch of sleeping meds into her home where her 12 year old and six year old daughters live. I could wring her stupid neck for being such a dumb bitch
What a prick! He should be worried about the ten year expectancy, not making jokes about brain bleeds and shit.
Does he have the audacity to come to you when he gets sick?
You have enough to deal with, without having to wrangle a no-value dickhead into behaving like a human for two minutes.
Ghost him, enjoy the freedom from a thorn in your side, and soak up better company from people who treat you right.
Yeah that shit fucking sucks, I reported it to mods but idk how longer it will stay.
anyone wanting to avoid it, this is the post>>859350
Only got halfway through before concluding dump the asshole
You're trying to improve your health and your lifespan and he offers you food which goes against your plan? And jokes about huge health conditions like strokes?
He doesn't deserve your company.
Also a year and a half isn't that long, honestly anyone who isn't invested in helping you be healthy and live as long as possible (honestly offering food that will hinder that is so malicious to me) shouldn't be around you. He sounds like a smug asshole too since he thinks you're going to literally
spend the rest of your life with him when he treats you like that? Throw him in the trash.
AYRT, I've been binding since I was a teen but even just seeing them when I'm naked is distressing. Like other anon said my tissue is fucked anyways so they really need to go. I don't want to be percieved as male either, I got the fun experience of actual ~gender dysphoria~ when I was in my fakeboi phase and started actually passing as a man kek>>859501>>859510
yeah, men suck don't they? After spending a lot of time in tranny spaces I think the epidemic of feminine fakebois is at least partially due to just wanting to be able to wear pink and not get harassed by scrotes for it. It's really sad.
Get therapy instead of crushing your tits and ribs, goddamn.
How does someone reach the conclusion “I am extremely upset over healthy body part—body part is wrong and my perception is right—damaging the healthy body part will fix this
Do y’all not stop for one second and think maybe the problem was your head not the normal body?
Anon i feel you so much. Thankfully TRA shit isn't popular or acceptable in my third world country so the only people who suggested i was nonbinary or genderfluid or whatever was other terminally online kids. Hope you can work through it and actually embrace being a woman, it feels so much better and comfortable.
It always scares me when some close friends of mine on the internet says a similar thing (uncomfortable with their femaleness or w/e) and everyone just starts suggesting they're trans. It's so harmful.
Jesus Christ the psychologists are in the trans scam as well?
You needed real therapy not to be told your breasts were the problem. Is there any such thing as non affirming therapy anymore?
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My loose skin is really getting me down. I lost a lot of weight recently and while my skin could be much much worse, I see other people in the pool and how their muscle and fat fills out their skin nicely and feel my confidence shrivel like the rest of me.
The other thing is my body shape, I have no bum, no boobs, no nice shapely parts. My body is almost androgynous, and while I'm attracted to that look on other women, it makes me look ghoulish.
My body now looks a bit like the new horrorcow in /snow/, but my belly is worse and my boobs are a little better. My hips and thighs are a little slimmer, but I have loose skin on my thighs too.
I'm happy I was able to lose that weight and am really invested in keeping it off. I hear your skin recovers a bit after a year or two, but nothing major. I'm going to the gym and doing aqua fit and yoga because I'm recovering from an injury, and I'm hoping that my body will build up enough to look nice and not scrawny.
I started microneedling with vit c because an anon here recommended it; I can't tell whether it's helped or not.
It's not like I'm keen on showing any skin, my go-to outfit is a turtleneck and trousers. But it would have been nice to feel young and carefree in my dad shorts when I went on the beach last month.
I just wish I'd taken better care of myself over the years, and had been taught that I was worth taking care of. I spend a lot of time thinking about who I could have been if I'd had a nice upbringing and no mental health problems. Oh nonnies.
I empathise with you anon but for the love of god, don’t get a hysterectomy. Completely understand that periods are shit but the risks of a hysterectomy are not worth it. As well as the general risks of surgery you could end up with long term issues such as early menopause - although it will happen at some point anyway, currently it’s not taken seriously because women aren’t taken seriously. It’s just seen as something you have to get on with, but even if your doctor is sympathetic you still wouldn’t get the quality of care that will hopefully exist in (presumably) a couple decades, when you will naturally go through the menopause.
Also you risk incontinence and prolapse. Your uterus isn’t just a useless organ if you don’t plan to use it; it’s part of the structure of your insides and helps hold everything in place. Imagine removing a couple of books from the middle of a huge stack - you wouldn’t expect them to stay in place and you risk doing the same damage to your body.
If you want a permanent form of birth control, go ahead and get your tubes tied. Trust me, your body will feel undeniably female if you end up at the gynaecologist because your organs are falling out your vag or having pelvic floor physiotherapy because you can’t stop pissing yourself.
Ngl I tried doing this and radblr is nice and it was nice to vent, but it all ends up being the same posts/people all the time. The community is very small and based, but it got old fast. I’ve just started being openly terf
-y with my friends and they mostly end up agreeing with me.
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My body is fucked up and I walk really slowly because of it. Yesterday I went with my boyfriend to the grocery store because I needed to pick out a birthday card, and as soon as we stepped outside it started pouring. My boyfriend ran ahead of me and yelled at me to "hurry up" and I'm still a mixture of embarrassed and annoyed by it. We've been together for almost a decade, how can you forget that my body is retarded? Like shit, as if looking at me isn't a reminder. I look like fuckin Zorak
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I promised myself I would get over my social anxiety and my avoidant tendencies so I signed up for meetups but I keep noping out of them last minute because I'm so fucking nervous. For example yesterday. I got prepared, I dressed up, left my apartment and then after a few steps I turned around because I felt like I couldn't do it, I went home, mixed antidepressants with a cider to numb myself and watched stupid Youtube videos on my bed. I also did 100 squats as a way to punish myself. Another time I walked right up to the cafe where the meetup was, put my hand on the doorhandle, then said nope, TURNED AROUND and went home to do something that doesn't require braincells. That time I also skipped dinner to punish myself.
And it's. Every. Fucking. Time. And I KNOW it's ridiculous but I feel so fucking powerless and helpless. All I have to do is just to ignore my anxiety and just GO. ACT. STOP THINKING. BE THERE. ON TIME. And I CAN'T FUCKING DO IT
I'm sorry nonnie
, that sucks. I feel like covid only helped solidify those few tendencies I had and now it's such a fucking pain to break it. I want to hang out with my friends but I don't want to and am scared of interactive with people, AND FOR WHAT? It's genuinely fucking annoying how much of a battle this has become. Like talking to people and checking up on them is such a simple fucking task and I cant do it anymore. Anytime my phone rings I get anxious to hell and back and I haven't called my dad in so long, I can only bring myself to text him here and there
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Every time I see that reddit image where the cis lesbian/women subreddits are banned, but all the porn ones aren't make my damn blood boil. I can't believe this same websites has the audacity to claim that men are oppressed.
They forget the reason for the existence of diversity hires.
I feel your pain, I don’t work in IT but in a different (surprisingly) scrotey industry. Working towards a career change though, can’t wait to be out of here.
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An anon recommended the movie Four Rooms because they were thirsting after Tim Roth, I was really enjoying it until I got to the scene with the two kids and I was like 'huh these kids are really spending all this time taking about their smelly feet and showing foot closeups to the camera' and then I remembered one of the directors was QUENTIN TARANTINO! I HATE SCROTES OH MY GOD. LEAVE THE KIDS ALONE!!!! Picrel is the scene.
Anon was right though Tim Roth is f9 in this
Four Rooms ia called that because it's split into four vignettes by four different directors. Tarantino only did the final part about the coin toss or whatever. I think the one with the family was Robert Rodriguez.
I do agree to execute Tarantino, though.
There's a photo of Quentin Tarantino with a child's foot in his mouth, with the leg measured to prove it couldn't have been an adult.
I don't really get how any parent can put their kids in Hollywood.
social media is a cancer. I unironically believe we will look back on these times as a dark age. Except we're probably not, because as time goes on I increasingly feel like the world will end. and I dont even know what I mean by that. Maybe that it will just cease? I somehow wish it would. I cannot move a millimetre, cannot do a thing, 'purchase' a thing without it being this weird metaphysical onion of awfulness, trinkets and gizmos made by crying children's hands in India and what the fuck not, wrapped in chipping sweating achy plastic, rotting the earth, rotting us. I hate it here. Kids pushed out of vaginas, the pain of childbirth, of billions of women losing their ability to self-actualise because their motherhood negates everything else. because their shitty husband gets to do all his "self-actualisation", in his razer gamer chair when the baby is asleep, self-actualising himself to flitting images of addicted women from unnatural angles, angles all the angles, hired because she looks like she's got the 'barely legal' 'teen' pussy. Because her disposition resembles his sleeping child more than his overworked, underfucked, woman. His woman, his kids, his his his. Meanwhile the new generation sleeps a restless sleep. Good night bitch, can't wait for you to grow up and consume for yourself
>>860049>I unironically believe we will look back on these times as a dark age
We absolutely will, even if it's just for the fact historians will probably have the same amount of valid
sources to work with since everything happens on the internet and all the big websites are more eager to delete and censor as much shit as possible with 0 effort to save anything and even thewayback machine is very shacky with deleting shit if requested. Everything happening now will be an absolute headache to gasp and research in 100 years and incredibly easy to manipulate it with revision, if we - like you said - even make it that far.
I was expecting a sperg about body image but this was surprisingly poetic>Kids pushed out of vaginas, the pain of childbirth, of billions of women losing their ability to self-actualise because their motherhood negates everything else. because their shitty husband gets to do all his "self-actualisation", in his razer gamer chair when the baby is asleep, self-actualising himself to flitting images of addicted women from unnatural angles, angles all the angles, hired because she looks like she's got the 'barely legal' 'teen' pussy. Because her disposition resembles his sleeping child more than his overworked, underfucked, woman. His woman, his kids, his his his.
Real shit, my worst nightmare
>>860067>(or maybe it's not a low expectation and i'm getting too much shit from movies/tv shows?)
ding ding ding. popular media has just rotted our brains. >sex and spending time doing some sort of activity together like watching a movie or discussing some topic
basically is a relationship imo
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Do other anons ever view things on the internet that they know will disturb them? I went on the FBI website and looked at different sections, and I check new uploads to see if i recognize a person…
But I always end up getting disturbed and now I’m sitting around trying to switch tasks. They added audio files to the ECAP section and I want to set things on fire..
I know the solution is to just not do that… but I always get this occasional nagging thought like “maybe I’ll recognize this person and be able to help”
I used to until I was like 15 or 16, but by now I see this as a question of respect especially towards the victims
but also towards myself, so any kind of curiosity is killed off, or rather doesn't even start to bud.
Fuck I meant to quote >>860238
but forgot I had started responding to>>860228
first. Don't drink and post nonnies lol rip forgive me
Like the other anon said, work on building your audience first before worrying about this. Try to avoid talking about anything political or sexual. Just focus on whatever content you're doing and talk about topics (strategy if you're playing a game, favorite character, etc.) related to it or just make light, everyday "conversation" from stuff you encounter in your life (like you're trying to get close to someone but want to appear interesting/entertaining). You don't have to censor yourself, but if you avoid talking about the more sensitive subjects you'll avoid the people who want
to talk about them. Most people won't think you're being "fake" or putting a front or anything, people usually respect if there's some stuff you wanna avoid touching on.
going to go with the people saying just to do it. You can't get cancelled if you don't have an audience.
Also getting cancelled is a myth and only affects you if you let it. The people who get cancelled usually make the serious flaw of going along with the cancelling. If you tell them to stuff it, they can't really do much to you.
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I'm going through the same thing, anon. Maybe you’re her, but that’s probably just wishful thinking. I had a close friend, we both loved madoka magica a ton and talked all the time. We had a shitty fight a little while ago where she said she didn't want to be friends anymore, I'm sure we could have worked it out but I reacted badly and blocked her. It's not the first friend breakup we've had and I'm sure she hates my guts now, she seemed pretty done with our friendship the last time we spoke. I miss her every day, but I don’t know if she thinks of me or if we’ll talk again. i hope you can find your friend again someday, maybe if you sent her a message somewhere, she'd answer.
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I feel like I'm never gonna find a job. I've been unemployed and broke since the beginning of the year and I feel so fucking hopeless. I have a shitty BA in humanities but so far I managed to find translator and administrative positions but now I'm not even getting callbacks plus I'm at an age where women start having kids so I assume that's part of why they are not employing me. I'm completely dependent on my mother who has narcissistic tendencies and only supports me financially and emotionally if I do what she says and when she feels like it. It's humiliating. Also I have PMS
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Got into an argument with an internet friend today. I feel a little bad. I clearly hurt their feelings. I didn't want to talk about the subject, but they pushed me and I gave my real impression, no beating around the bush. It wasn't even about them specifically, just about a category of people that they self-identify with.
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I never know how I feel anymore. Most days I feel so on edge, anxious, and ready to end my shit. Sometimes I get a little sliver of hope that ends up making me more depressed once my mood gets back down again. This year has been lonesome for everyone and I know I'm not special but I wish I just had anyone at this point. I don't really trust anyone due to my trauma even when I try my hardest and I genuinely don't have a clue of what to do.
Samefag but working in hospitals made me realize that doctors are gonna treat you as a hysterical bitch, no matter how 'equally' doctors claim they treat their patients. Worse if you're young and look good, they'll treat you like you're pretending. There's an absolutely clear bias towards males in health care. Female doctors aren't any better, most of them are pickmes or they straight up hate women for some reason.>>860389
I basically already wrote that. The punch line is that they're women, so they're hysterical, stupid, vain, and they pity their husbands and so on. They won't say it outright but in jokes.
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Women criticize animu scrote media because it's sexist and pedophilic etc.
Scrotes "criticize" media for girls because…it's for girls…
Scrotes can't handle women having media aimed at us.
Look at this violent comment posted as a review of an otome game, because it's for girls oh noooo.
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The stories I heard about this are insane. One family friend was described as a “hysterical mother” in her kids medical notes because she was concerned about his asthma after it put him in the ICU (pre-COVID). A few weeks ago my sister took her toddler to hospital because she had a fever over 41°C that wasn’t coming down with meds and was having seizures (all observed by doctors). She was lectured about “panicking because the kid had a 38°C temperature”. I don’t like tossing around the word gaslighting but there’s no other way to describe it.
Even in women-specific care there seems to be a bias against women. A friend (who had no medical background) pointed out an issue in her pregnancy notes. She was told it was not an issue despite the pre-printed information saying it absolutely was. Eventually she was admitted to the maternity ward for “mental health reasons”, examined and told that actually her pregnancy was high risk because of the exact thing she was worried about. It’s fucking grim when someone who failed high school biology picks up on something multiple consultants and midwives didn’t.
If you haven’t already read pic rel I really recommend it (to anyone). It’s extremely hard to stomach but important and covers med stuff as well as other forms of unnoticed sexism. I also recently picked up ‘Unwell Women’ by Elinor Cleghorn which is about the history and science of women’s health, haven’t had a chance to read it yet but it’s apparently very good.
Sorry for the super long post but I’m passionate about this. Remember you can make a difference, anon! Don’t underestimate the impact you alone can have.
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UUUUUUURGHHH I FUCKING HATE PAYPAL, GIVE ME MY MONEY ALREADY YOU BORDERLINE THIEVES
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My sibling's school counselor will drive me crazy with her bullshit. My sibling had back pain, and stayed home instead. Counselor called, and said it's maybe 'stress' yeah sure whatever fuck off. Then today, he had an allergic reaction to something and his eye got puffy and red, stayed home. Counselor called said he's lying, for some odd reason???? then i got the news this bitch is trying to take away his holiday and make him work/have his internship which she has no place to decide, YOURE A DAMN COUNSELOR YOU FUCKING CUNT. I'm really mad about this, she can't mind her own damn business. I'm really this close to call her and ask her what her thought process is, or who she thinks she is. What's even crazier is, i've gone to the same school and she was my counselor. She gave me a sheet of paper to fill in what i eat in a day, and gave me a food pyramid because im more on the skinnier side, and i was actually perfectly healthy and i didn't ask for this, while i had a classmate with diabetes who i thought needed it more than me. And she KNEW i had problems before with classmates picking on me because of my weight, the fucking audacity.
I really want to blow up, this shit isn't right.
When I looked into having my tubes tied I learned that women in my country need to be over 35 and have 3/4 kids already in order to access it… the age restriction I can semi understand (tho they should lower it imo) but a large part of why women want their tubes tied is because they don't have a single cell in their body that wants kids full stop. It's pretty shit that we can't just consent to a childless life, sign something saying we're taking on all respnsibility for our decision.. Then again some fuck out there would change their mind and try to sue for millions.
I've seen cases where trans people do the whole 'informed consent' thing to access treatment and now they're suing because they can't totally undo the damage. That's after they signed a consent form. My country is just sexist in general but fear of being sued is likely a large part of it too.
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My bunny has an ever so slight head/ear tilt and I made a vet appointment for him, but it’s a drop off. I wish I could be with him and actually talk to the vet, but that’s not how things are right now I guess. Fuck covid I’m so upset for my bun. Picrel, when he was a baby before I got him.
I'm so sorry anon. This covid vet shit sucks so bad. The vet had to tell me over the phone that it was time to decide to put my cat down. They at least let me in to be with her during the injection.
Sorry to dump that, I sincerely hope your buns is okay, she looks adorable.
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if I do not have sex right now I will die.
I'm so disgusted with myself because I usually don't fantasise about real people, especially people I know but I thinking about getting topped by my female coworker that I have a crush on.
I can’t even imagine your pain. I am so sorry, anon. I understand your complete distrust of the cops as well, I don’t like or necessarily trust them either, but sometimes, there’s not much else you can do—they’d get involved anyways if your family beats his ass or kills him, ya know? So might as well try to avoid that proactively and get that restraining order. I’ve never had to get one, and I’ve heard mixed things about difficulty, but overall, it sounds like you have plenty of evidence/reason to keep him away. It’s not your fault for not seeing it immediately, abusers are just fucking like that.
I’m so, so sorry for you and your baby. Again, I cannot imagine, but I want to hug you and hold you through it. I said hell is real, and with that, so is heaven or some space for them to be. I can’t say it’s better this way, but an undeniable bright side is that you are not attached to this man for life via an innocent child, and that baby will never have to experience him. That’s the greatest comfort I can offer you.
I appreciate you sharing your struggles and how difficult it must have been to type out, much less live through. I wish you all the best anon. Try to find support groups for abortion and/or domestic violence, etc. They exist and will hopefully have resources for you. All the best from here on out, you have suffered enough.
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I'm making that bread so I can have money for college but damn I'm fatigued as fuck. Can't do much once I get home; i just shower, try to cook something or get something to eat, then most likely pass out. It's monotinous and as fuck and I wanna do fun stuff but don't gave the time or energy. Just gonna kms, smoke weed, then fall asleep with my Jinbesan
I have a friend who is literally a leech, smokes my weed, eats my food, drinks my drinks. I even buy her dinner all the time and she doesn’t pay half, etc. She’s a NEET and very awkward and mentally ill, but has these moments of real insight and lucidity about a lot of things, then goes right back to acting an annoying ditz. It tells me that she’s aware and could do more but chooses not to, which I kind of get, but I’m tired of enabling her and spending my hard earned (from 2 jobs!) money on her for literally nothing, not even real emotional support. She texts me to hang out like every day, sometimes asking specifically if we can smoke like she’s entitled to my shit. I’m sick of it. I’ve been saying no and trying to back away, but now I get irritated that she even dares asks at this point. I don’t know how to tell someone that I don’t want to be their friend or whatever, especially since we were/she still thinks we’re close.
Can I use my friends and family who seen my fucked up arm as evidence ? I used to have screenshots of him admitting to raping me and saying he was gonna lie on me to the police but the phone it was all saved on broke and my dumbass didn't saved it to like an icloud or whatever. But multiple people seen my fucked up arm. I think my brother might even still have the picture I sent him of it. (He socked me and I couldn't move it which sucked cus I worked at a recycling center lol)
I'm gonna screenshot and use the messages from this morning too though. I blocked him but the messages are still there
Also thank u all so much it means alot I wish I could give u all hugs
I'm looking into what evidence I need rn
Im tired of my family being in the system
Thank u anon
I haven't told anybody I know about the rape or abortion. I've been feeling insane since it happened.
Ur kind words mean alot. I need to get better and find a therapist asap. All this anger and hurt ain't helping me
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Trying to look at nice historical pics and come across this shit. A 1955 Korean orphanage full of dumped kids fathered by GIs. I FUCKING HATE MEN.
>>860757>I FUCKING HATE MEN
as opposed to the mothers that also dumped them there
l m a o
nah>omg foreign white man soldier!>he will sweep me up and give me rich life>better let him impregnate me>wait he's going back to his home (logically)>fuck this kid i'm not dealing with it now
rinse and repeat(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
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You're a faggot (logically)
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nta but he's sort of my guilty pleasure. I hate his stories but love his compositions and his attention to detail so much. I wish he dropped the gore stuff though
It's sad, especially since the US and Korean governments encouraged women to go service American GIs for profits and US protection without fully protecting the women. It's fucking disgusting.
Off-topic, but eyelid surgery really took off in Korea around the 1950s due to a white American surgeon attempting to "deorientalize" the Korean face, which was considered untrustworthy and unattractive. A lot of Korean women at that time underwent the surgery to appeal to the American GIs for marriage. It's sickening.
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Same. His work is graphic and often off-putting to be sure, but anyone who equates his skill level and vision to the coomer shit we normally see is dumb as hell.
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God I fucking love when cgl jannies nuke entire post histories.
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My husband is a retarded boob.
We're new to the neighborhood. We don't have our doorbell cam and security system hooked up yet, but the neighborhood has felt genuinely friendly and nice. Despite this, husband had been paranoid and insisted to sleep by the bed with a baseball bat, draw curtains like we're in a cave, and lock all doors at alllllll times even when we're home. It's really irritating but I'd feel better once we get our system too.
Well tonight we were upstairs relaxing in the bedroom. I hear a knock that made it seem like the person knocking was extremely familiar. I thought it might be my dad so I sent down husband to let him in. It was obviously someone else but I thought by the friendly tones that it might be one of our neighbors introducing themselves. Some had sent us cards already and whatnot. I didn't go downstairs cause fuck being social kek.
But it was awful late, like almost 8pm. Husband disappears for 30 minutes talking to this literal who. He finally finishes and marches back up the stairs to tell me who tf that was. He complained "holy fuck" and I thought with that he was going to tell me a story about chatty neighbors who won't shut up or something.
He tells me how he shot the shit with a supposed security installation salesman. I asked husband why he didn't just say "No thank you we have one already" pretended to be busy?! Now some dude knows a lot of specific information about us!
What a fucking moron!!!!!!!!!!! This could have been a burglar or a scammer at best! No salesman would waste 30 minutes trying to be a fucking friend if their goal was to get sales. A good one who values their time anyway.
Husboob volunteered information to a literal stranger just because he had a lanyard and had a logo on his van OOOoOoo!! Now I'm fucking paranoid af. Is giving strangers details about is Husboob's idea of safety? What fucking good is a locked door if a thief knows we have no security and that we're gone during the weekdays? We tried to call the company this stranger looked to be from but of course the call center workers can't do jack shit, although they did tell us they received three similar calls this evening (not a good sign). Why are men idiots?! An ex of mine used to fall for the same retarded shit; whenever we'd go to a major city he genuinely believed solicitors were approaching him because they were wanting a genuine conversation.
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i like guro a lot personally but yeah, this guy is a real artist. his work makes you feel uncomfortable, and sad, but the skill is dazzling. the manga art is actually gorgeous. his printed art is really good. >>860825
discord makes me a little depressed. i sometimes find cool ppl in servers im in but there are indeed so many fucking annoying zoomers posting their shit memes and crying that they cant say slurs. some dumbass just got banned and now all his teenager friends are coming in to spam and "raid" for revenge and i just want to ask them why men are so whiny.
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Why didn't anybody want me or care about me when I was growing up?
Would I have been a normal happy young woman if I had a good upbringing and a supportive community?
Am I salvageable? Is there anything of me left worth saving?
It's hitting hard tonight, anons. I wish things had been different.
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I am horny and want to have sex but I am not currently dating anyone and sex with randos fucking sucks
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I am SO fucking bored. It's 12am, I'm trying to focus on some hobby and my boyfriend has been asleep since goddamn 4pm. Part of me wants to go drive our car really fast for no reason down some country roads or go park in an area with heavy night foot traffic so I can watch them. I just feel like being this bored is causing my cells to die rapidly and I'n experiencing a steep IQ drop. Also sorry for the image, I'm on my phone and accidentally added it but now can't remove it for some reason. I've never noticed that feature so add that into my vent
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I’m so tired of people claiming they worship the greek gods. No you don’t!!! No one has in thousands of years!!! Please stop getting butt hurt over people doing retellings of mythology and crying about how it isn’t accurate!! Do you really want accuracy? Do you want to see Zeus rape half of the female population?? And incest all over the place? Get over yourselves.
>>861135>makes me wish moids were banned off the internet altogether.
Understandable, you don't have to visit 4chan to feel like that.
I'd like to see an experiment where men were banned for the net for a month. I imagine youtube comment sections improving with 100%
They hate us so much yet all they do is think/talk about us. Just from observations over the years I’ve come to the conclusion that men like that (read: all) are actually envious of women. My biggest tinfoil is that it’s because we’re the creators of life. Sure they’re involved but we actually make life
. It’s all a big cope.
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my beloved grandma who parented me a lot in my childhood died last night and the day before that my bf of 2yrs who im deeply in love with got arrested twice and may or may not go to jail to six months and in that six months i may or may not sell my soul to go to a damn art college in a last-ditch effort not to completely waste my early 20s but i kind of don't want to and most of all im fucking exhausted i keep running around trying to keep everything balanced but no one's actually giving me any space/time to make any decisions about anything they just keep telling me it's not my fault
I was just in the dead9irl thread in snow reading milk from a few months ago and she starts making claims that her home is abusive, so some shitty, stupid anon has to throw in her two cents about "if she was really being abused, she would do blah blah". I couldn't give two fucks whether or not dead9irl is lying about being abused, it's this bitch in the thread that is pissing me off.
> if her home was really abusive, she would just run away and not worry about shelter
This really set me off. My brothers and I was physically and mentally abused by my parents our entire childhoods into adulthood. This cunt makes it seem likes its easy to just leave. I'm not supposed to care about shelter apparently because being homeless and having nothing is better than dealing with my parents but still having a bed to sleep in and clothes to wear and a place to shower and food to eat. Oh my fucking God. Like I can just shove shit into my backpack and hit the streets in the middle of the night and somehow I'm better off? And what is this delusion that one person with a minimum wage job is going to pay for an apartment by themselves? What is this stupid fucking idea that someone with trauma is supposed to just move on in with just any random bitch and expect it to work out?
> if she was actually being abused, she wouldn't have the balls to yell back at her mother like that
Are you fucking dense? My abuse led to me having major anger problems for most of my youth, and your damn right I yelled back at my shitty parents. I'm not going to curl up into a ball and just take it, I don't HAVE to take it, I was CHILD. Yelling back is the only way I have to defend myself, even if it leads to more violence toward me it isn't MY FAULT for reacting to my parents insanity. I am a human being with fucking emotions and when I'm being legitimately gaslit by two alcoholic adults I'm not going to let myself be broken down and humiliated and take their lies as fact because that would only make me fucking crazier.
Fuck you, anon/s, whoever the fuck you were. Keep your shitty fucking opinions about what people who are "really being abused" should and shouldn't do, you stupid ugly fucking disgusting morbidly obese retarded cunt.
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My mother just told me somethings that are making me feel so sad that I'm stupidly crying right now. She said she feels like I'm a stranger to her, because I don't tell her anything or ever talk about myself that she feels like she feels like she barely knows me, her daughter. And I mean, it's true, I've become extremely, extremely closed off past few years and I guess it's stupid but I never thought anyone noticed and knowing my momma noticed and she feels so down and sad about it, she cried telling me all this. She said she wants to know what goes through my mind, what views I have, how I see the world, my likes and dislikes. I feel so bad, but I don't know how to undo all these walls and stuff I've built arpund myself after going through things. I never want to make her feel this dejected but I did and I feel horrible. I love my mom so much, anons, I didn't know she felt like this. I don't know what I should do
She does try to ask things but I kind of steer them in another direction to avoid talking about myself. I just have this notion that no one seriously gives af about what I'm thinking and it's better to just not waste their time talking about what I'm feeling, and it's kind of made me feel completely uncomfortable with the idea of sharing thoughts altogether. I think I'll tell her about this so maybe she can understand it's not that I'm purposefully not letting her know me or I don't like her or something.>>861306
Maybe I'll do this with her, I think we're both gonna start crying though at the end of it, haha. Thank you. I just needed to let it out.
i never heard of the perspective of wanting to turn into a man for sex but holy shit, this.
i wish women could have sex without any repercussions. anyone who lives in a conservative/religious country totally feels this shit.
Diff anon but I met a guy lately and he talked about his shady past with me and talked about his road to getting his life back in order again. He kept saying he doesn't judge people because he has so much in his own past he can hardly be judgemental of others.
His past is full of drink, drugs, addiction, partying and fucking around… assaulting people. Getting arrested. Robbing people…getting jailed. Struggling more with addiction…getting jailed again. He's no saint. As we talked I told him some stuff about myself and kept other things close to my chest. I've overshared with men in the past and it's amazing how they'll later use your past against you. On the off chance I end up seeing this guy around (small town life) I didn't want him knowing my shit. Even if I know his.
His insta was recommended to me lately. He was complaining about sluttish women.. He who does not judge lol. He who fucked around plenty and even took part in sex tourism in other countries. ffs
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I've done it again. I dressed up, did my makeup, walked to the place of the Meetup, then walked away, more precisely, walked for 2 hours
in the city as a punishment and now I'm home and my feet are full of bleeding blisters and I'm browsing lolcow. My life is officially a joke. Someone shoot me please
Unpopular opinion, but I think this actually makes perfect sense.
Men have an instinctive knowledge that they are destructive parasites, even if they won't openly say it. Go look up what's in semen, and how long its remnants can actually last in a woman's body. Any woman that lets lots of men have sex with her is taking in lots and lots of toxins, and that will obviously cause a shitload of personal damage. It's like drinking poison.
Additionally, any woman who opens herself up to a man as fucked up and disgusting as him, especially when he admits to being a rapist (sex tourism…) is also ingesting poison, so you dodged a big bullet by not trusting him.
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WHEN YOU LOOSE THR LITTLE RUBBER THING ON YOUR EARBUDS
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I got a huge tax return and I used it to buy a second hand computer for some gaming & streaming, but I can't stop feeling awful for spending my money on something 'wasteful'. I don't even have anything else to get, I'm just beating myself up for spending half my check on a thing for myself instead of idk saving for something.
I highly doubt you look like a transgirl, but let’s say you do - wouldn’t you look more like one when dressing hyperfeminine? That’s what most do to overcompensate for their masculine features.
Anyway you want to dress androgynously but also be seen as cis which is becoming less of a thing because of nb people. Maybe you’re okay with that though? As a compromise you could dress in women’s clothes which aren’t hyperfeminine. Even the girliest women I know wear casual outfits too.
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I wouldn't call it a date, but tomorrow I'm going out with my male coworker. This is literally the first time in my life I'm going out with a male. I never had any irl friends, I never dated anyone. It's a compeltely new, unknown territory for me. I have to admit I have a crush on this particular guy, but I'm not planning to romantically pursue him if he doesn't show any interest, I just really want to talk to him and know him as a person because I feel like we have similar interests etc. and I find him fascinating, usually I'm too shy to talk to him at work. He's coming to my town just to see me and it makes me excited. But I'm so scared I'm gonna fuck this up. I'm literally making a list of topics I'd like to discuss with him because I'm autistic. God damn it I want to make a good impression so much. I'm not gonna sleep tonight
Thanks for the responses anons, I'm glad there's other women in the same boat. I know it's stupid to worry about how I'm presenting to others, I guess gender is such a politicized thing right now (especially here in the US) that it's hard to just be yourself without seeming like you're making a statement. I kinda agree with >>861541
that I'd rather be seen as NB or tomboy than a trans girl, even though I'm neither of those. I just want to feel comfortable with myself when I look at pictures/mirrors.
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Really hate women who are this fucking naive.
I think that a lot of the "cool girl" women who don't mind their boyfriends having female friends, watching porn etc are just hilariously naive about how disgusting men really are.
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He'd take my face between his hand and turn my head towards his
Or turning the head horizontally instead of vertically works too
>>861583>she was on the way to work>teenage girl working at 3am
It's small shit like this where obviously teenage girls casually scrolling their tumblr dashboard and seeing a nice post like this that adds to deluding them into thinking an "older man" is a better option than guys her own age. It's one thing for moids to force that idea via media and whatever but other women enabling it is fucked.
It says the girl called OP's husband to let him know she'd be late, so he must have been on the clock and not at home getting called on his personal cell. But I agree, they absolutely would not have behaved this way if she was male. If they're nice guys, yeah they'd be sympathetic for a teen boy and tell him it's alright to be late, but not fly to his rescue and coddle him the way they did with this girl.
What kind of job even is this? That girl's parents are insane for letting her work graveyard shifts where all of her coworkers are grown men. She must be 18 if she's allowed to work in the middle of the night, but still, major yikes.
I think I'm a vulnerable narcissist.
I'm deeply insecure and feel shame for never being good enough. While I'm able to superficially handle criticism, deep down on the inside it has me furious and I often go through a stage of denial before I actually start to see the other side of what someone criticized of me. While I'd never be vindictive or petty towards someone who criticized me because I know the social consequences, deep inside I wish I could clapback in some way or point out the critic's own flaws. Maybe it's motivated by fear that if I responded to the criticism with anger, it would only invite worse criticism back on me so I just pretend like it doesn't bother me–which sometimes doesn't serve to help me because that reaction can be read as arrogance or brushing things aside. That's why some people view me as an awkward/insecure woman while others see me as some confident braggart who's got it all. My feelings are super intense in the moments, meanwhile later the feelings diminish if I don't forget altogether.
Criticism is so shit to me that I often feel like other people are masking like I do when they accept it so graciously and in good spirits. I don't attention-seek, again because I understand the social consequences of such behavior, but holy shit I crave admiration and often do things in an attempt to receive it. Not out of goodwill, but because I want people to like me which is a selfish means to an end. If I don't, I get extremely hurt and jealous of others who do seem to have the admiration of all.
Perhaps this goes back to my perfectionist mother (who I suspect has some type of Cluster B herself) who used to respond with irrational anger at my child self for common and petty child mistakes. I believe her criticism was so harsh on me and that expectations were so high, that I developed a type of insecure narcissism as a mental cope against her unfair criticisms. The problem is that I never dropped that defense mechanism, and now as an adult I can't parse well-intentioned criticism.
Boss reaming me out at the office for a mistake? My throat clamps shut, I can barely talk, and I tend to go on the defensive while I grapple to get a word in. How do people just take this shit?
I've been really disappointed in my experience with people lately. There have been good ones but I can't stop thinking about the jerks because they're more plentiful. People seem to understand what they want to hear, which isn't bad in itself, but when people disrespect you off the bat for some reason and they take it there… What the fuck do you even do? For example, if I asked to schedule an appointment "before noon" why am I met with "well, it will take three hours……." when there are openings as early as 6AM, I know, I checked already. Why not just answer my question like a normal fucking person instead of coming at me with this passive aggressive assumption- one that I have to make guesses at how you've come to this response in order to respond myself. I flat out asked if there was an appointment for 11AM and the person next to the clerk was shocked, as if I was supposed to dance around this passive aggressive game out of left field. Was I supposed to alter my request? I would like an appointment before noon. What are you getting at? Why am I always more professional than people who make more than I ever will doing shit worse than I can? I hate this world. I wish y2k happened so I would be in the top fucking echelon probably because I'm just so vastly superior to these people. I swear to god. The apocalypse will claim all these motherfuckers I have had the dispealesure of talking to lately, I swear. I hope anyway. They deserve to perish for being so retarded, socially mentally and physically. they're all ugly bastards without logic and reasoning they are just CHIMPS, rote workers, beasts. That's what I tell myself and try to move the fuck on. But you know I'll just be bitching when someone acts shitty to me yet again in public.
This is dumb as shit, but I told my dad's friend who was disrespecting my dad's girlfriend, her 13 y/o child, and me, to shut the fuck up, and he told me afterwards that he'd kill me if my father weren't there (my father was listening to this), and then he called me a dumbass. I should have stopped there but I told him he was a no neck having fat ass, and he got so mad he stormed outside, but now I'm super paranoid that this guy might actually come back and try to kill me. I know I might be really dramatic about this sort of thing , but you never know what men are truly thinking of or are capable of, and this guy has had a history of being really violent even to way younger people (my infant sister years ago for an example).
I'm also so angry that my father said nothing to him in the moment when he was saying shit to me and his gf, and even more mad that my father afterwards made the situation out to be my fault. The worst thing I did was tell the idiot to shut up when he afterwards very seriously threatened my life and my father said nothing to him, even tried to defend him after the whole thing was over when I talked to him about the way that guy was treating me. It makes me so fucking mad that he just doesn't seem to care about my feelings or how real a threat like that is, like I wonder if my father will give a shit if that guy makes good on his threat and does come around to kill me or if it'll be my fault in the end still.
shit sucks. i'm sorry you have to go through that often. i have dissociation as well, and i wish no one i respect to go through with what we go through. hopefully things have gotten better for you since it started becoming more prominent. i'm running on year 8 of developing dissociation due to a traumatic event and progress has been pretty incremental. it's all about changing my mindset about why it happens. it's just happy, safe time for my brain, basically.
honestly, i saw the bo burnham special and i thought it wasn't much. cool he did something recently, but i can't believe the people who are latching onto every single detail of the special, trying to make conversation about it, feeling REPRESENTED because he said dissociation once LMAO. like how the hell? the fact the bezos song is so popular, like i must have fucking missed something, it's 2008 internet tier shit. people honestly need to go outside or something.
I hate my coworkers. I hate my coworkers.
I try have a positive outlook but 2 of my coworkers are just straight up cunts. Yesterday I signed in to see a long message of how if we start some documentation task we should finish it or it's a waste of time for all of us. I started that task, then had to go do more important things. The task had no time pressure, and nobody else was doing it. GTF out of my BUSINESS.
They can't just leave me alone to do my thing, too. If anything ever needs to be done, I'm directly asked to do it, where I then have to justify why I can't, or I do it. Even then, I'll often get "well this task is more important, so do it please".
I sent pictures of the team chat to my friends and they were shocked at how blatantly rude and passive aggressive the messages were, and told me "don't worry, they're the ones that look like idiots". But to who? In this small ecosystem I'm in the minority. I've tried to talk to my manager about it but he just fully shuts it down and puts the onus on me to communicate better, it's very much a "we don't want to micromanage" place used to straight up ignore problems. We all have separate managers too so it's a mess.
I'm annoyed too that i'm venting about this on a Saturay morning. They make me want to quit. The one coworker who at least doesn't pile on is leaving soon, so it'll only go downhill.
I also wanted to add that it's really affecting my self esteem and I guess my sense of self. I got over my "doing the most to be a good team player" mindset pretty quick once I realised that it'd just be taken advantage of. I'm helpful, but not at the cost of my own workload or staying later. I tried to have an honest talk about the fact that we're coworkers, we don't delegate to each other. I've questioned their claims about this or that being a waste of time or one thing being more important than the other. It takes so much energy just to maintain my frankly lower than they should be boundaries.
And one of the coworkers spends nearly the whole day sucking ass and cultivating connections with all of the higher ups, so no matter what I'll be at a disadvantage.>>861800
Try take it easy nonny
, they shouldn't be living in our heads rent free. I'm gonna do some yoga and try forget about it.
I do find some of the sadism posts pretty over the top lately but then they're in their own (on topic) threads so better to ignore them than to seriously argue over someone's fantasy.
They might just be morally superior anons who hate all things sexual. We have enough of those around too.
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I'm tired of all my IRL friends and only my online friendships feel interesting but I can't hang out with them
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Fuck I just fought for my life. I was shitting and on my phone, when I noticed a moth ON my pulled down underwear. It flew off when I flailed and I managed to wipe my shit in time to run for a book and squash the devil spawn. I feel unclean hope I don't get moth aids.
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Except pantry moths, you gotta take a blowtorch to those things.
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On a side note there's nothing a moth can do that will hurt you. They don't have mouths. Their whole purpose is to fly around, find mates, lay eggs and die when they have no energy left that they accumulated as caterpillars.
Admittedly their legs can feel a bit scratchy and it can be kinda creepy if one flies close in your face, but they're harmless.
Most antivaxxers are also portrayed as unhinged mothers who refused to vaccinate their kids
Same with conspiracies and tinfoil theories
He knew the risks.
I'm more surprised you didn't feel anything.
In my experience once they get to try it they realize that it's just a huge fucking meme. I also did it for my bf cause he really wanted to and I didn't even shit on his dick, but he still was really disappointed by it. He said to me "Wow… I feel like I have been lied to" afterwards lol. He said that vaginal feels so much better than anal because it's ribbed on the inside and the anus is not and he has never asked me to do it again since.
I don't blame any women who never want to brownpill their boyfriends on anal but honestly most of the ones who are into that stuff have never done it before and don't realize that it's not really better.
I’m getting a little worried about my workplace because it has a money sending service for customers and lately they’re getting very aggressive. More people are using it for the first time, I’m guessing because of financial covid issues, and they always fuck up and have no clue what they’re doing and blame us for it. Adult men throwing screaming tantrums and calling us names because they don’t listen. There are so many other ways to send money I don’t understand why they even use this thing anymore (besides people who are sending money to inmates, that’s understandable).>>862029
And then when you look up the people that spread the misinformation it’s men like Robert Kennedy Jr
Men aren't that naive. Just flip the tables on them. Say that you want to peg them or make them gag on a dildo or spank them and they'll change their tune really fucking quick. They know that these things are uncomfortable and unpleasurable, they just hope that the woman they're with will endure it. Like I said, they don't give a shit about emotional intimacy or truly care about the woman they're with at all, they just want to try out every fetish on their gf like she's a sexbot or something
Any decent guy wouldn't want to do degrading things to their girlfriend and yes, anal is considered degrading even now, hence why most scrotes won't be on the receiving end
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Tfw a week ago I unfriend a former coworker who for FIVE YEARS after working together there still commented on my many FB posts with an unrelated Rick and Morty meme that I only kind of laughed at the first time, and then yesterday I receive a long, disturbing message from him graphically detailing how his fiance just died but also hey! He still thinks about that time he smacked a box out of my hands five years ago so I barely remember but he thinks about it OFTEN. Sorry about your girl, dude, maybe she rest in peace, but seek help. I'm sleeping with a knife tonight
I dated a guy who at the time earned so much more than me and paid for nearly everything… I eventually felt the pressure to 'pay it back' by giving him the buttsex he wanted so badly. Once he got it one time he acted like an entitled douche and no joke would threaten to break up over not getting it often enough. We had been fine without anal for 2 years before ever doing it even once! Suddenly the rules of our relationship changed. Never again. His sexual demands turned worryingly rapey and I had to get the hell out of there.
Remember, not even once, if you don't want it then nothing he does for you should convince you he 'deserves it' By treating sex acts like a currency you owe him for his kindness.. you're setting yourself up for him to view you that way and now treat you like that when he wants it again.
I'm turning twenty soon and looking back on my teenage years depresses me so much. I haven't been happy since I was 14, and the past 6 years have been filled with absolutely nothing. It was entirely boring and I have barely any good memories that stand out. I was mentally ill a lot of the time, had very few friends I couldn't hang out with often, I had one toxic
boyfriend I didn't even love but kept around just so I could have someone to spend time with, and the only time I was enjoying myself was when I was alone and stoned out of my mind. If I died tomorrow the life that would flash in front of me would be the most boring slog ever. I'm afraid of wasting my youth and I have no idea what to do about it, I just want to feel alive for once
I was miserable and on meds/in therapy on and off from 12 to my late twenties. I never thought I'd change. Around the time that I turned 30 (and a few months after I got out of a dreadful relationship) I reached this new level of contentment that isn't perfect or blissful but that feels like I have a chemically normal brain for the first time. No idea what changed me but it happened and tbh I've never mourned my youth because I'm just glad to be improving.
Sometimes when you get better you're just so grateful that you don't dwell on it. Being miserable for years or even decades will sure make you grateful when you find relief. It makes you appreciate it.
Just remember, “bad times are just times that are bad”. I remember thinking a lot of stupid things were the end of the world when I was in my teens but when you look back at this point in the future, you’ll definitely be like: what the heck was I even going on about.
You got this!
What this anon said>>862089
Anon, I'll be 30 in a couple of years. My teenage years were absolute dog shit, there are fond moments I will always cherish but most of it was spent being poor, ugly, friendless, a weeaboo and mentally ill. It didn't get better until about 25, and then it was as if the world opened up to me.
The idea of 'wasting' your youth is bullshit, you will be alive for over 80 years, likely more. A lot of doomers will say your body deteriorates over time, you'll become ugly and haggard and you won't have energy to enjoy the same things, but this is only true if you are an irresponsible druggie and chronic party drinker. Also, regardless of how you look at any age you can still find happiness and purpose.
You're still finding yourself, it's normal to feel like this, but the world doesn't end when you turn 20, or 30, or any big scary number.
Welp the manhate thread was fun while it lasted. Now we only have the rest of the site kek>>862210>I feel like women should not do things that don't gratify them in kind.
Completely agree since too many young women bend over backwards to please others.
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I'm about to blowout (and possibly straighten) my hair, and I'm not excited for how long this on gonna take at all. It probably won't even come out the way I want. I also might not have enough gel left for the style I want to do, but I'm too lazy to go buy more
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my sister got molested so my mum lets her get away with everything even though she’s an adult.
she constantly lies to my mum to get me into trouble and to victimise herself and even when it’s an utterly trifling.
eg one time she freaked out and woke up my mum to demand use of my vacuum cleaner at 9pm and she backed her up because i guess my mum is a retard and my sister fight her own battles
sick of walking on eggshells around her just in case i step on an invisible landmine and trigger a toddler tantrum she is a freak who needs to go to therapy
i can’t even establish basic boundaries for myself like asking her not to slam cupboard doors at midnight or throw away my food without a wahhhhh mommy help me anon bullied me
i’m moving out within the next year i hope but for the time being it’s just so boring and my mum seems to genuinely enjoy being weaponised by my sister against me
Don't be put off nonny
, should you want to study here, much of the UK is still beautiful and unspoiled.
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>ask friends in groupchat if they want to hang out sometime
>they say they can't
>some day later I check their stories
>see they went out without me
This has happened more than once. Why does this happen?
God I wish but I'm poor and UK visas are so expensive now after Brexit. Plus the tuition fees there are crazy.
Maybe I can visit one day, but only as a lame tourist.
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I going out with a guy who's my crush and I can't stop thinking about his dick. He's got a really big bulge and every time I see him I find it really distracting. Besides that, I'm a virgin and the idea of having sex with a guy this big is just scary to me. I find this guy cute and I'd like to date him, but this dick is just too much. What the fuck do I do
Hand him over, girl.
But on a serious note, you don’t have to sleep with him anytime soon and if that time comes and as long as you’re properly aroused and stimulated, it’s not going to hurt.
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Some guys just have yummy bulges naturally. "Showers" I guess.
I yearn for the male fashion that accentuates it to return.
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Don't worry anon, his bulge is entirely made of ballmeat. The dickflesh is negligible and frankly scrawny. How do i know all this? Picrel
No no, natural bulges only.
100% organic meat
You got that impression from the pic I posted about 70s fashion didn't you? Stfu. No way you can't tell balls from a dick.
Regardless, a bulge is a bulge and it's sexy.