File: 1619773855570.jpg (90.95 KB, 400x600, e22d3b3558cc026f9f2c07e90850d3…)
No. 795235
Your digital shoulder to cry on.
Previous thread:
>>>/ot/787646 No. 795237
File: 1619774020121.jpeg (918.87 KB, 2560x1275, 97963510-180E-4059-9A00-F7C629…)
Omg I was gonna make the thread and use this image
No. 795240
File: 1619775260984.jpg (122.42 KB, 1280x720, IMG_20210316_153244.jpg)
even my regular doctor's notes say "psychotic disorder" now
No. 795251
>>795247ty anon ily
>>795248its not my moms husband but my significant other's father. unfortunately i have to deal with this until we save up enough money to move out
No. 795294
>>795277There was a study I don't have the link to hand but I'm sure anyone could Google it. But it showed that men only registered woman as people when they were dressed more modestly and the more flesh they shown the more men saw them as objects.
They literally objectify the fuck out of women. I've had dudes act blown away that I can control a conversation and know the same bullshit pop culture and facts as them. Then they try to NLOGs me. I've only fucked 4 guys because they never meet my standards since they're all so fucking dumb and cliche.
No. 795298
File: 1619782527162.jpeg (7.18 KB, 259x194, images (13).jpeg)
I will end up poor, alone and sick. I will never leave this shitty country. I will never have a satisfying career. I will never have a good and loving husband. I will never have a cute cozy house I always dreamed about. I will never have friends. I will never have a stable financial situation. I will always be miserable.
No. 795309
>>795298We're basically in the same situation then, anon. Dis you give each of these thing a honest try?
Like, I plan to off myself if by the time I'm 30 I don't have a good job that I can live off of because things will only get harder from there. 4 more years to go but it's somehow comforting to know there's a "finish line"
No. 795311
>>795309Anon, you've got to be shitting me. 30 is not the end of the world, I WOULD understand 40s, sure, but 30s?? In your 20s everything's around you is still confusing, and it's time where you spend discovering yourself and figure stuff out, instead of crying about not having a s/o or whatever. How old are you?
Sure, life sucks, especially tight now with virus going on which affects all of us mentally, but you've got so much more to live. There are so many places you still haven't discovered, hell, tiny hobbies or upcoming TV shows and stuff. I fully get it what it means to be lonely, it's tough, but in the end you are the only one who can do something about it and your way of thinking. Eg whenever I feel angry or-and lonely, I just draw. It's my main motivation (even though it's a bad one) to improve and I am quite thankful for it.
No. 795375
File: 1619791151652.gif (650.2 KB, 334x251, 1619155913327.gif)
Nonnies I'm so fucking lonely I just need to vent. I have to study the entire week for my uni, morning to evening, so many exams, volunteering and a research I should start already.
My LTR is over with no contact for two months, I have no very close friends to talk to, had to isolate with covid for two weeks, now no time to meet people, no time to try dating again.
My mom might have health issues she's getting checked for next week (breast lump).
I'm living in a flat without balcony so I'm just in my room with the window open, listening to people laugh and have fun outside, birds singing in a great weather while drinking my fourth coffee so my dumb head will internalize the shit I need for my exams. I genuinely feel like this is all pointless. I just have no motivation to do any of that shit.
Only thing that makes me kinda happy is coffee, vidya/netflix and browsing lolcow, how fucked is that. I always had a lot of hobbies but I'm just too tired now.
No. 795387
>>795375I hear you. Loneliness is killer. I hated my last semester of uni, I was overwhelmed with all my final requirements, so I get that. Try to remember that there are still good days to come, and in a year's time a lot of this (especially your uni shit) absolutely won't matter. All the hugs.
It's nice to hear that you volunteer though, do you find that brings you any joy or relief? What are you volunteering for?
No. 795465
File: 1619799347709.jpg (165.33 KB, 1000x483, The Garden, det.jpg)
I'm terrified I fucked things up with my constant lying. I lied to my mother that I still have my job (I don't. I've been unemployed for a whopping 3 months now and all I've been doing is staring at the ceiling and feeling sorry for myself). She's adamant about getting me vaccinated and have been calling her friends who work in hospitals to register me for Pfizer. Today I tried to register for an appointment and the website told me that my social security number is invalid. It dawned on me me that I forgot to pay my social insurance and now I'm terrified that my mother will get to know this through her friends or our GP. I feel truly retarded. I suck at adulting. And also I'm a grown-ass woman who still feels like she has to lie in order to avoid mommy's range. This is the lowest I've ever been. As a form of self-punishment I'm not gonna eat anything for the today and tomorrow
No. 795524
>>795515That’s awesome, good job anon.
I know how you feel about the latter, a therapist could really solve all those problems and you could make a lot of progress with a few sessions.
Also if you can’t afford it I think that posting on forums can be beneficial somewhat.
No. 795568
>>795518I know, you're right. Its just hard, and I'm not sure why.
>>795524Therapy is out right now. Was there a forum you had in mind? I probably should source some sort of outside opinion.
>>795551That's a relief. The victorious euphoria made me worry that I was happier I was able to manipulate a situation than altruistic. I often think I'm not a very good person, but maybe I'm at least not awful.
No. 795597
File: 1619810861768.jpg (148.3 KB, 600x357, living-in-agony.jpg)
Why do you keep looking for me every day? Why do you keep calling me by the cute nickname you gave me? Why do you keep coming to me if you chose her? You were the one who came back into my life and in the end, you chose her. You already know my feelings and still preferred to stay with your girlfriend, so why do you do it? Why am I so stupid to keep liking you?
Sorry for that, but I am in pure pain and agony rn
No. 795642
I have a male friend whom I deem so great, as he is actually respectful, does not watch pornography, is smart, listens, is mature, and so forth. However, he is also a virgin, and I now worry that perhaps his respect for women, particularly sexually, stems from this? He simply doesn't know yet how to view women sexually properly, perhaps. Maybe once he is in a relationship with a woman, his masculine colors will show and he will be less respectful of her sexual boundaries and overall needs. What do you guys think? Is this a weird theory to have? I base it off an experience I had before, where somebody I trusted greatly showed his true colors once he had me in a room alone with him.
No. 795644
>>795629>we've had a lot of fights and he's told me he wanted to break up dozens of times>And every time he does, I go into a deep suicidal depression that I can't come out of until we're back togetheryou piece of shit. get therapy for your codependent ass. is he only staying because you're making him responsible for your mental health?
>What sucks is that I have a male friend I go to when we have relationship issues because he's better than professional therapists honestlynot only does it seem like you're guilting him to stay in the relationship, at least go to a female friend about this if you know this would explicitly make him uncomfortable or post on the relationship thread. not saying it's normal or okay for men to disallow female partners from having male friends but texting a male friend about your relationship issues and lying about it, really.
>>795638kick her dumb ass out. 23 and 30 makes me raise my eyebrows but a predator? if she really believed you were one she'd want to move out.
(infighting) No. 795650
>>795645Right? Sides I don't really give a fuck about his age. He's 6'3, has facial hair, muscle and has the same interests as me. The man could have been older and I woulda still said yes.
I didn't think it was a big deal cuz, hello, he's 23? He's an adult
No. 795662
>>795638>predator???
Just sounds like she's jealous, lmao. Also
>>795645 is right.
No. 795664
File: 1619817240786.png (260.76 KB, 836x408, ground rules.png)
>>795644I never said I threatened suicide, I keep it to myself because I know that's manipulative behavior. I make it a point to not mention suicide with him at all nor guilt tripping him with my mental health. Like I said, I keep it all inside or tell my male friend since he's a bit of a neet so I get instant feedback during these breakups.
>he thinks if he doesn't then it's his fault if you diehe's not a pushover at all. we actually watched midsommar together and he complained about the mc proxy-forcing her bf to be with her. He hates pathetic emotional leaches, so I've tried hard to get rid of that aspect of myself.
>pic related is the rules I follow when texting/talking to him No. 795670
File: 1619817877339.jpg (44.02 KB, 640x640, 5e75d146358a531b2497ce119a863b…)
I know that what I'm thinking of is impossible but it's keeping crossing my mind.
I broke up with my bf and we were in a long distance relationship. We live in different countries. My little sister knows that I broke up with him but she keeps asking about him and she says that he's a good guy and that I'm the bad person. One time she said his name and I acted like I didn't hear I thought I was delusional but what if she's talking to him behind my back. There's no way she can have his number and she has a bf but what if??
No. 795686
>>795673This hit me in the heart. Sadly, I've had my ex do this before and yet while the intent and words were right, the action never quite followed. Wishing you the strength to move on
nonny.
No. 795695
>>795670If you don’t think she’d tell you I think you should check her phone, like when she’s asleep or something. But it would only cement in her mind that you’re the bad person, and doing so could even be motivation for her to eventually speak with him to find out what’s wrong with you.
But chances are she was probably talking about him to someone else(like her boyfriend) if she actually ever said your his name to begin with.
No. 795697
File: 1619822376889.jpeg (105.73 KB, 1024x768, C1E9B7CF-F0A2-41CB-97CF-272FF7…)
I hate when everything seems to be going perfect and one thing fucks up and it snowballs into another depressive episode. Why can I never catch a break from this shit. Just looking at those baby pictures and crying now.
No. 795712
>>795695She definitely won't tell me if she is talking to him. She seemed obsessed with him anon!!! Like when I'm talking to him on the phone she'll purposefully say sth out loud so he could hear her and then she'll act all surprised that I'm on the phone.
I don't think I can check her phone because of password.
And no she wasn't talking to her bf when she said his name, she was working on her laptop lmao.
No. 795725
File: 1619825298590.jpeg (26.96 KB, 427x718, images (2).jpeg)
AAAAAAAA I just want to scream and get fit and be a nice loving happy active girl who attracts all the LESBIANS!!!!
No. 795726
File: 1619825455286.jpeg (21.6 KB, 350x491, images (3).jpeg)
>>795725I don't even watch this shit anime show but I want to skinwalk her because she's a beautiful active happy lesbian and thats exactly what I want
No. 795738
>>795664Those "rules" are mostly the crazy
toxic bullshit you find in relationships between particularly immature 19 yos.
No. 795750
>>795710nta but I had the opposite problem in my previous relationship kinda. I could feel myself slowly becoming increasingly clingy and suppressed a lot of my feelings. I can't honestly say I know whether or not he would have been put off by it because I never showed the full extent of my clinginess until we broke up. I did notice he wouldn't allow himself to open up to me too much either so maybe that's why he never needed to outright say it, I just felt it and mirrored that.
Wish relationships were more straightforward. I'm a very transparent person that appreciates communication but it has to be mutual for me, like, I also have to see you doing the same, i won't let it get one sided, I will only match what i'm given. it sucks.
No. 795755
>>795750>I could feel myself slowly becoming increasingly clingy and suppressed a lot of my feelings.holy shit are you me
>showed the full extent of my clinginess until we broke up.no way are you me he broke up with me because of this too
>Wish relationships were more straightforward.same tbh
> I'm a very transparent person that appreciates communication but it has to be mutual for me, like, I also have to see you doing the same, i won't let it get one sidedUghhh same. I feel you sis
No. 795771
>>795769we've already changed the locks and set up a security system. AND called the cops but my roommate sent them away and said everything was okay because we didn't want to put her in jail (i didn't know the full extent of everything at that point, i just thought it was over something small). my roommate is letting her in now so nothing like that would be useful
she does know i have guns though i think (and by that i mean a really realistic looking rifle that she would think is real)
i just sent a text to my roommate that my gf is coming over so hopefully the ex will gtfo bc she's extremely scared of her lmao. that's my safety net for now
No. 795793
File: 1619835200348.jpg (41 KB, 275x269, 1616662291789.jpg)
Was reading a reddit thread about creep run-ins and got reminded of the time my roommate tried to break into my room in the middle of the night to rape me.
Men need to be castrated.
No. 795810
>be at work, phone rings
>"hi thank you for calling pizza place, how can I help you today?"
>confused guy goes "uhhhh"
>about 5 seconds of silence pass
>I hear a woman talking but I can barely hear her, she sounds far away from the phone
>I can't even tell if she's talking to me or not, or if she's just in the background
>I realize she's asking how much a large pizza is
>I tell her how much it is
>she asks if we deliver
>I say yes
>I can barely fucking hear her
>she's not talking quietly- she's literally yelling, but I can barely hear her, as if she's far away from the phone
>I keep having to have her repeat things because I can barely fucking hear her
>she gets really irritated every time I ask her to repeat things even though I'm being really fucking polite about it
>"OOOHH MY GOOOOD. LET ME TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE. I TOLD YOU MY ORDER 5 TIMES ALREADY"
>I hand the phone to my manager
>she bitches to my manager about me
Now. I know for a fact it's not my hearing or our phones or anything because I answer phones all the fucking time and I've never had this problem. And when the first guy said "uhhhh" when I first answered the phone I could hear him crisp and clear. I'm 99.9999999999999% sure what happened was her boyfriend called us, didn't know what to say, so he put me on speaker phone for her to order which is why she was yelling across the room. One could argue that this is rude and you should actually talk into the fucking phone if you're going to order something instead of being a lazy cunt about it (or just order online for fuck's sake), but whatever. What really pissed me off was that she was fucking rude to me for something that was COMPLETELY HER FUCKING FAULT and that I had no control over.
Maybe if you want people to hear you maybe you should talk into the phone like a fucking adult, instead of just being a lazy fucking cunt and screaming across the room because you can't get your worthless obese ass to walk 4 feet over to the phone, you stupid fucking useless lazy ass dumb bitch.
No. 795848
File: 1619840206043.gif (904.25 KB, 500x532, 1400701829371.gif)
>>795808>>795813It's been a year and I'm in another house right now. Thanks for your concern, nonnies
>be roommates with three other people>one is friendly South African guy>never got any creep vibes>it's the last night before he moves back due to mom having cancer>at ~7pm he asks if I want to drink with him in his room>I politely decline
>I'm in bed feeling myself slip into sleep>MY DOOR FUCKING OPENS>I squint in the darkness and say, "what are you doing?">he doesn't say anything and stands there for what seems like an awkward amount of time>"hey.. do you want to drink?">I'm annoyed and sleepy>I check the time. it's 11:30ish>"uh.. no.">he stays at the door smiling at me for another awkward pause>he leaves
>sometime later>he knocks on my door>I ignore him>he continues for what must be at least five minutes>at this point I'm aware that this might be a creepsville situation>then he just OPENS MY FUCKING DOOR again>same creepy smile>he asks again me if I want to drink with him>"..no, I work tomorrow">he leaves>I lock the door
>~1am>I hear my doorknob turn>I hear the scuffle of his body on my door for leverage>he's really trying to fucking get in my room even though he knows my door is locked now>at this point I'm low-key scared>I yell, "FUCK OFF">the turning stops>after a while he saunters back down the stairs to his room>the next day he moves out super early No. 795860
File: 1619842040591.jpeg (56.56 KB, 338x703, A1AD7EE9-8B15-4938-8B6D-B9850D…)
>>795848That’s horrifying,
nonnie, I’m glad you’re safe.
No. 795864
>>795848Oh god, I'm so happy you knew to trust your instincts and lock the door holy shit. I had a similar situation where a guy I was casual friends with got really creepy with me his last night in the state. He didn't try to assault me, but he overtly asked me to fuck, despite us never sharing any indication we thought of each other as more than friends, then got high key verbally
abusive when I refused. Something about knowong they'll never see you again brings out the dark side in otherwise normal seeming scrotes.
No. 795870
File: 1619844333663.jpeg (19.33 KB, 235x275, E3D0F84B-E87E-44C7-9009-80539B…)
The fact that I had made it known all day that I needed to take a nap before work due to lack of sleep, and that ten minutes into taking said nap my mom decided to mow the lawn right outside my window, I just…
It was 9+ hours ago now but I’m in a state of delirium and rage thinking back on it
No. 795891
>>795776Thanks for the heads up. I looked into it. Since I rent the home and only my name is on it they are basically an unwanted guest. Especially considering her mail goes to her parents house and she claims she lives there. I'm giving her 30 days just to be nice. Of course she said she was sorry, but that wont fix my reputation.
On the plus side the date went well with the guy. We're going out again next week
No. 795904
File: 1619851978116.jpeg (47.55 KB, 583x438, 3B5D1A5F-ADBA-496C-94F3-C80729…)
Alright, you need to get your head back on straight. Why are you crushing on some dumb streamer? Some scrote? He's not even hot, and only marginally cute, what the fuck is wrong with you. What kind of parasocial bullshit are you on. There's a 0% chance you'll ever interact with him so quit being a horny little bitch and get on with your life
No. 795915
File: 1619853338982.jpg (2.23 MB, 2826x4000, iamyourbravestsoldier.jpg)
watching the madoka rebellion movie is the only thing keeping me alive right now
No. 795926
File: 1619856023445.jpg (28.1 KB, 500x162, tumblr_inline_nbezpjU6eY1qhz00…)
Why do, not only male assburgers, but non-autistic men as well have to gatekeep specifically female autism? Literally why?
Who the fuck asked these scrotes? They can have their retarded gatekeeping of flaming male autism to themsleves, nobody gives a shit, but why do these ignoranuses have to pipe tf up when the discussion is about the one thing they cannot wrap their minds around: us?
I guess they're entitled to their shit opinions and all but why are especially neurotypical or only mildly autistic men so arsed, when we're finally trying to address neurodivergent female-specific experiences? Why is this (autism, women) the one topic where it's not gucci to consider the fact that gender differences are real and run deep?
picrel, old af dead meme but it's still accurate
No. 795932
File: 1619857687504.jpg (163.67 KB, 500x553, tumblr_ogk472fZpY1vgi9keo1_500…)
I'm awake at 4am because my job stress. I was trying to move up in the company, but my new boss (there only 2 months) has caused everyone to quit. He literally told me he wont let me move into another position and he needs me only weekends. cut my hours from nearly 40 to only 13-14 hours. When i asked why he just constantly gaslit me and told me i wasnt good enough for the other roles i wanted. i'm pretty terrified that right now in the middle of the pandemic, it's harder to find work. I'm just frustrating this is happening. i called HR but nothing has changed yet. i just want justice. this man is insane and how he's allowed to be a GM of a big restaurant is beyond me. i'm just sick and tired – and waking up at 4am, having nightmares… Yeah, i guess i'm forced to quit even though i've been there a while. I hate this kind of shit, but the world is unfair. Still sucks. Just need a hug and some inspiring words.. haha.
No. 795944
>>795930I see shit like 16 year old girls conveniently referred to as women whenever they're in an
abusive relationship with much older men "well it's her fault for dating him, she's big enough to know!"
But then men get to drop in and out of 'boyhood' at their convenience if they happen to commit a crime between the ages of 18 and say 22
No. 795945
File: 1619861185439.jpeg (325.97 KB, 995x604, 76F4C350-2FDB-43DA-BEDB-9FBC54…)
I feel strange. I randomly looked up an old crush from high school on social media and he’s still gorgeous. That’s cool, most men age into bog creatures. He’s in a long-term relationship with a decent-looking woman, but what’s even weirder is his friend group. These people could be in a magazine’s Top 30 Under 30 list. They’re all generally attractive, fit, in varied and exciting careers, making good money, have healthy relationships, traveling, talking about positivity and “leveling up” and surrounding yourself with good people. I’ve never seen these types in the real world, you know? They seem overwhelmingly cheerful. They’re the sort of people you see giving inspirational talks on TV or being life coaches or shit. What’s stranger still is that I don’t feel jealous. I should, right? But I look at them and can only think of how exhausting it must all be. To maintain these perfect little lives. I don’t want what they have, even if it does make me feel lame by comparison. I can’t tell if that just indicates I have different goals or mental health issues since I don’t feel a yearning for what most people on the planet would kill for. I’m tired even thinking about them. They’re real, but they don’t seem human.
No. 795948
>>795932Classic
toxic men
Start preparing for another job op. When you leave you can leave employee review or expose his shit. While it is your problem now it won't be later. Just be ready to ride through storm.
No. 795958
File: 1619863006138.jpg (161.16 KB, 1080x1080, 8f5c8db9.jpg)
>>795942You're doing way too much emotional labour for someone who's supposed to be your parent. It's really no wonder you get tired.
It's not your fault. You're not a bad daughter. A daughter's job isn't to be a parent or a friend. It was never your fault to begin with.
You are not useless. I want you to know that you are not useless. You deserve time and space for yourself, not after some heroic deeds, but just because you're you and personal boundaries are important. You've done your best.
No. 795966
>>795945forcing yourself to be a linkedin-type would be the most soul sucking thing you could do. some people are genuinely excited about "the grind" but if you aren't there's no reason to feel like you should want to be like that.
also some people like that end up driving themselves into a burnout by their early 30's and you never know how they feel when they log off linkedin and take off their business attire.
No. 795978
>>795962I'm sorry
nonny. Even though you didn't have her for long I'm sure you made the last bit of her life comfortable and happy. She was really lucky to have you.
No. 796009
>>796006Sorry
nonnie, but your situation hits me with all the irony. Men love to complain about women who chatter too much and how they just want a little peace. Or they'll whine about how they're tired and just need some sleep but their partner is too needy. Just goes to show that they're never happy. Tell him that if he wants a MPDG, then he should watch something Zooey Deschanel has acted in. Then he should reflect on how much a woman needs to get paid to pull that shtick off convincingly. He's being a butt and you are not his pacifier.
No. 796013
File: 1619875724886.jpg (34.69 KB, 736x960, 60357273_2476424339047689_5919…)
Went to a dinner where a friend's friend decided it was fitting to talk about how she once tried out stripping but felt it was too objectifying for her and that the men there were too disgusting so she prefers to go to sex clubs where she gets fisted on stage for free and I swear to god my brain is melting just from remembering the conversation.
No. 796015
>>796004The only people that has to “fix” their countries are the politicians and the families that are perpetuating the social issues we live.
Sure, you can “fix” it by being a good citizen and doing your job properly. But other than that, it’s virtually impossible for a group of, what? 50 people? To fix a whole ass country with at least a million of people that won’t even pretend to be nice.
So don’t feel guilty of leaving and finding a better place to live, we’re not Fix-it Felicia to be fixing shit for the rest of the world.
I hope you can find a good place in which you will feel comfortable and happy,
nonnie.
No. 796016
File: 1619876105866.jpg (616.52 KB, 1080x1525, Screenshot_20210501-153150_Eco…)
how is this empowering? Women are forced to wear heels, restrictive clothing and make up to work every day despite the discomfort and adverse health effects, lest they're considered unprofessional and receive a warning for breaking dress code. Now a rich, abled man with the ability to opt out is doing what women have been forced to do for decades by people like him, and he receives praise. Why are people so dumb that they don't recognise the idiocy of this
No. 796019
File: 1619876445138.jpg (186.62 KB, 1080x885, Screenshot_20210501_153102.jpg)
>>796016It's not empowering and he should kill himself
No. 796020
>>796016as you said it, because theyre dumb. men are praised for doing shit women are forced to do instead of just opting for either one of the two routes
loosening female beauty standards and restrictive fashion (that goes backwards into the same sexist restriction (but in a more hypersexualized, cheap fashion way) we fought hard to rid ourselves off of in the 20s
restricting male beauty standards in a similar way by giving them idealized versions of male beauty (instead of boring somber business suits or athleisure, something similar to what men were wearing in centuries 18th to 20th), not conflating beauty with extreme bimbo hypersexualness or making men appear like actual troons/faggots to be desireable
Its amazing how gender discussion and beliefs around aesthetic beauty is absolutely more backwards and regressive than it was dare I say even 20 years ago
No. 796026
>>796016I hate how they say
> clothes have no genderas if they're the ones who're
victims at the hands of dresscode by not being socially allowed to wear heels ffs.
No. 796072
File: 1619882943217.jpeg (55.48 KB, 500x500, tumblr_inline_p8tvc22tJA1ubi3n…)
I never want to experience a psych ward again even if I probably need it right now. When I was 16 years old I overdosed and got sent to one, when I finally met the psychiatrist working there (after they found out I had an autoimmune disease at the hospital as well, GREAT) he screamed at me because I "lied about smoking weed." I literally blacked out for a week and didn't know where I was, through photos I obviously looked off and was not myself due to all the meds I took and I tried telling him that but he just kept on yelling at me even after I apologized. Then he got overly suspicious because I started crying and wanted to go home. I had to write a 10 page essay on both sides of the paper apologizing to him for "lying," why I even did drugs in the first place, why I tried to overdose, and why I was acting so suspicious for wanting to go home early. I was SIXTEEN YEARS OLD AFTER AN OVERDOSE HOURS AWAY FROM MY HOME. I WANTED TO SEE MY FAMILY, OF COURSE I WAS UPSET. It's been years since this incident but I know I will never be overly honest with my therapist again because I'm too scared of getting sent. All the nurses and therapists there just told me to quickly write it so I could get it over with and it made me so angry. Why is everybody thinking this is normal? Why was I, a literal child going through a traumatic incident, having to APOLOGIZE? I literally remember calling my therapist at the end of the week and asking for help myself after I became coherent. Every time I recite this incident to a therapist or a friend they just sit in horror and wonder how that was possible, and I realize he's probably still working there. I just never want to go back even if I need it, maybe it's the best because at least I won't try to off myself in fear of having another awful psychiatrist like him and being stuck in a hospital. I just have the image of the worker next to him telling me it's gonna be okay and handing me tissues while he screamed at me every session, like no, it isn't okay. I want to hold teen me and tell her that it was going to be okay and that I would get out soon, especially with everything else in my life going on. I don't care if it's been years, I'm still so so angry. Fuck you, fatass.
No. 796099
It's unfair that I was born looking like a piece of shit while my friends are good looking and can be loved because of it! I'll never be loved by anyone, I'll always be used as the shitty spare tire! No matter how much makeup I put on, how well I dress, how kind I act, how supportive, how thin I am, how many beautiful things I make, how intelligent I try to be!!! My face!!! Is still!! A piece of shit!! It's unfair that I'm the one who was thrown rocks at and spat on! I didn't deserve to be called a bitch just for looking at someone! I didn't deserve to be laughed at every time, to be told that my hair is disgusting, that I don't count as a woman, that what I touch is dirty and that I'm dirty! I'm disgusting and the thought of someone being nice and caring to me is repulsing, the thought of someone kissing me makes me want to vomit!!! I'm tired fuuuuuckkkk
No. 796150
File: 1619889729619.jpg (868.33 KB, 1080x1907, Screenshot_20210501-191945_Ins…)
I need to delete social media, kek. Who finds the energy to record themselves whilst dissociating and proceeds to post it??? I hate this munchie trend normalisation nonsense. Its similar to how my peers will openly discuss visits to their therapists with quirky jokes and their attention seeking clothing, while I am trying to stop having flashbacks and dissociating so I can just focus in class and actually get back my life. Sorry for cringe whining but it's so dumb and the fact that for gen z and below it is the norm to approach mental health this way is appalling
No. 796154
>>796099You have body dysmorphia as a result of being bullied for your looks in childhood. Unfortunate looking adults just look like average adults, and they do just fine when they take care of their personal grooming and fitness. Butterfaces with good personalities do just fine, unattractive people find love all the time and when they get old they just look like old people, the same as everyone else. It's true that attractive people have it easier but focusing on how miserable you are about your face only holds yourself back.
Unless you live in some backwards country that has extreme superstitious physiognomy beliefs, in that case I take it all back and hope you can get plastic surgery soon
nonnie No. 796166
File: 1619891672786.jpg (59.06 KB, 800x562, 1400580366920.jpg)
The other day my boyfriend was coming up with a list of things he could cook for me while he visits. I had to be autistic and say that, along with grocery shopping together, would make me feel like we're newlyweds. He awkwardly responded with "yeah" and immediately went back to the previous conversation. I'm sure he hated me saying that. I want to kms, I just thought it would be cute.
No. 796205
File: 1619894332457.jpg (2.08 MB, 1772x1080, Akemi.Homura.full.1883739.jpg)
Women are the best, men are the worst, fuck scrotes
No. 796224
>>796205>fuck scrotesthat's exactly what they want you to do
>>796216How could he get off the hook? I am so sorry
No. 796248
File: 1619897515557.jpg (32.01 KB, 500x334, tumblr_nyapww3Yjl1r1gyewo1_500…)
Do men play weird waiting game with female friend? I think I made a mistake, I'm really passionate about horror movies and after finding out that some guy in my class liked them too we started talking and I might have became too intense. This is so humiliating, I know he is connected and that he saw my attempt at talking with him one last time. It feels like shit because I thought we had potential to be friends and that's why I really tried for once to be the one to reach first. I'm never trying to befriend scrote ever again, my autism associated to their lack of emotional intelligence is just too much.
No. 796253
File: 1619897903625.jpeg (119.3 KB, 570x814, 8AAAFE23-06C3-475D-A86F-9032E2…)
My bf and I have been on an official break for a couple of days after a month of basically no communication. Honestly it really fucked me up that he wasn’t talking to me, I’m very codependent and when people go from 100 to 0 like that so quick it makes me spiral, not to mention that I’m very deeply in love with him. So I did spiral for a while and did some things that I’m not so proud of but today I woke up and for the first time in a long time I feel like I can be my own person without anyone else. I always felt like I had no identity and I needed to latch onto others to feel human but today I felt alright. Like I could get out of bed and enjoy things on my own. I think I’m moving past things and I’m cautiously optimistic. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still very upset and want to get back together but now if we ended up never talking again I think I’d be okay. Maybe tomorrow I’ll take myself out for dinner. I guess this is growing up.
No. 796262
>>796259Since it is covid, try finding an online community to be apart of. It's lonely in the world and it's human to want to have support. You already know it's not healthy to put it on one person. Try picking up a new hobby and join a community for it.
Drawing, video editing, coding, makeup,etc. have discord communities you can join to make friends.
No. 796312
File: 1619905999638.gif (18.97 KB, 220x229, 159398557380243239600364138679…)
>>796259We can be your support system sometimes, anon-chan. Though making rl friends would be even better. As an adult all my friends are from work, maybe you can start there
No. 796316
File: 1619906629683.jpeg (86.77 KB, 640x640, toad.jpeg)
hirevue is the worst process in the entire world. i don't know why any company uses it and i worked my ass off for everything to look right with my camera and answers 2 weeks ago just to not even get an email back… for minimum wage. why can't you just interview people in real life? what if i have questions? what if i didn't even have a fucking webcam to record it on?? oh, like use my phone and look like a dumbass holding it up for the 10 questions i have to bark out while trying to directly stare into the camera or i'll see my ugly face? nice.
i found a way to cheat through it using the html code to find the answers anyway, maybe that's a plus about it but i would of loved to just come in and sit with a manager so that they can know i'm a real life person wanting to work here instead of another nameless face. if this is the future of job interviews please kill me.
No. 796326
File: 1619908486868.jpg (72.31 KB, 750x739, EYHIzScXgAcQ1iv.jpg)
I love you all nonnas, seriously, you're like the sister I never had and never wanted tbh, but I'm glad you're all here. I feel at so much ease and I can always come here and vent. It feels nice.
Anyways, I'm happy that I won't be dating a scrote ever again. The trash took itself out, and days after that happened, a girl who always has had a crush on me called me and she's making plans to come and visit me on july.
Also, this will be the last time to say it, but the scrote I'm talking about was the one who called me "too depressed" and said he never loved me after all, aka using me as an ego boost and blaming me for his own insecurities and anxieties. God, I'm happy he's out of my life romantically speaking. I don't feel like I'm "too depressed" anymore. In fact, I'm amazing. He has hurt me so much and made me feel suicidal so many times. Feels good man.
No. 796335
File: 1619909479027.jpeg (88.95 KB, 540x495, 1601765660147.jpeg)
Had a lot of guilt today.
I was supposed to have woken up at 6am, drove two hours to drop my car off for a service and intensive detailing, and then spend the entire day alone at the beach while my car was getting worked on.
Instead I slept in, canceled the appointment, and didn't do shit besides wait for my bf to go to work so I could binge sushi before I slept some more. It was a beautiful day and I wasted if all gorging and sleeping inside. Really shameful. My only cope is telling myself the $240 car detail was money I didn't need to be spending right now.
No. 796359
>>796326Scrote "love" is pretty much entirely dependent on being an ego boost.
Reserve all your validation and admiration for women.
No. 796383
File: 1619916775896.jpeg (104 KB, 779x900, 1608866459848.jpeg)
When I was 12 this man attempted to groom me over texts. He eventually tried convincing me to go to a supposed concert with him, alone of course. I feel sick thinking about how bad things could've gotten if no one had stepped in at that point. I ran in to him multiple times this year(near places I frequent almost daily). He doesn't seem to remember me but I sure remember him. I've never wanted to commit a crime as much as I do now.
No. 796402
File: 1619919988404.jpg (22.18 KB, 464x317, plankton.JPG)
Every time a controlling and abusive guy gets out of my life a new one appears. Why am I retarded enough to let this keep happening to me
No. 796415
File: 1619922449860.jpeg (19.24 KB, 188x177, 5E272706-D6C4-4E6A-8A2C-E08B5C…)
Just say someone say that lesbian means “non men loving non men”
I am going to kill myself
No. 796453
>>796443Your boyfriend is mentally ill and doesnt trust you. Why stay with him? You cant be with someone who doesnt trust you.
Funny how he can play online games but you cant. Anon please dump him. You deserve so much better . He doesnt need a girlfriend he needs a psychiatrist. You feel suffocated. Its a sign you should break up. Take care anon
No. 796468
File: 1619930754828.jpeg (89.65 KB, 559x421, 04C9428B-901F-4A4A-BE4B-87BA73…)
>>796459Your post gave me anxiety, I tend to have a hard time watching the videos that my bff sends to me, because I just don’t know what to say about them and sometimes I also get so busy and/or overwhelmed by irl stuff that I forget about them by the time I can actually sit down and watch them.
si eres tú, sabes que te quiero mucho y que me da pena decirte lo subnormal que soy, prometo ver los videos que me mandes aunque esté súper ocupada No. 796474
File: 1619932599249.png (315.25 KB, 600x814, 253.png)
I grew up in a somewhat religious household, attended church on sundays and went to bible study as a child. But I don't think I was ever really very convinced of the existence of God. But I /wanted/ to believe there was some kind of higher power out there in the universe, I was also absolutely obsessed with the idea of ghosts & the occult. I wanted some kind of actual confirmation of any of it being real and would read & watch anything to do with it.
But as I grow older and learn & research more about the world, the universe, society, science & history … The more I have a harder time believing in any kind of higher power or many supernatural phenomena being real. For most of my life I've largely considered myself agnostic, but I can feel myself sliding more and more towards being an outright athiest. But it makes me incredibly sad, because I wish I could believe. I talk to people who are religious and I feel a pang of envy that they're so believing in their faith. I'm not remotely afraid of there being nothing after we die or anything. … But I still feel some pang of sadness, like there's something missing from my life in that I can't really connect or have much faith in any kind of religion or spirituality.
No. 796476
File: 1619932798232.jpeg (5.56 KB, 295x171, images.jpeg)
My dad almost kills me because I wanted to eat in my room and i brought some butter which he didn't like because "he doesn't do that" and "it's not traditional", dude wtf do i look like a give a fuck about your stupid, senseless "tradition"? It's just butter lmao, "You don't see me doing that" and?? Idk if you noticed by the way I literally avoid acting like you in any way but I don't look up to you at all. If you're going to fight at least fight for something… logical? Fucking butter?? C'mon
No. 796486
File: 1619934605833.jpeg (1003.19 KB, 1242x948, 343BD0C9-8611-4BA9-AD36-0A3889…)
>>796474I’m not saying you have to follow in my footsteps or anything, but I had a very similar experience at 18. I’m 30 now. I used to be extremely religious growing up and god/my faith was a huge focus, but I’m also a logical person and I asked too many questions religion had limited or no answers to. Ultimately it seemed especially foolish to believe in it when other groups all thought
their religion was the one true Word and any one of us could’ve swapped our particular gods for a flying spaghetti monster in the sky and sounded just about as reasonable. I became an atheist and felt conflicted. On one hand it was empowering and exciting to realize I didn’t need to follow some unseen holy script in order to derive fulfillment and value out of life, things I’d never really felt even when I was behaving as a good Catholic girl regardless. I was totally free to make my own meaning and my own goals and be “selfish” (i.e. not a doormat) guilt free for the first time. But I did miss feeling dedicated to something bigger than me, feeling there was certainty in a role I was meant to play, an entity that would ultimately provide me with eternal reward once I made it through life. Plus the more positive aspects I’d taken away from religion were no longer “universal truths” I could confidently wield in every situation. It took time, but you have to realize countless people have been through this experience before even when religion was a huge and dominant force in the world, and ultimately they found that meaning for themselves again. It’s still possible to have faith in and dedicate yourself to something bigger than you, and imo you should, because only living in a hedonistic way can be fun but it just doesn’t give me that same feeling of contentment that I get when I’m contributing to something beyond that. Maybe it’s the goal of providing for others in need, protecting the planet, or simply leaving others a little happier for interacting with you than they were before. And you don’t have to give up the values religion gave you either. They can still serve you well even if sometimes situations aren’t always as cut and dried anymore. I also value my life more now. Unfortunately, for a long while I just lived in a haze of misery worrying I wasn’t doing “enough” and waiting for my life to be over so I could move on to the next world where I might actually be happy. Now I treasure my happiness right in this moment and understand that the fleeting nature of life is what makes it all the more precious. You’ve been given a gift in your life, maybe not by some spiritual being, but the beauty of creation itself, and it’s up to you to enjoy it.
No. 796507
>>796493I thought the same thing about the diabetics defense, anon. I'm not diabetic, I'm just currently fat and would like to not be fat, but if I want a cookie it's nice to get a sugar free one. So what, Demi? America seriously does not have a problem with weight/diet in any way other than obesity. It's goofy as hell to act like we're
triggering the tiny percentage of the population that has ED by trying to get the huge percentage of the population that is fat and trying to lose weight to buy less calorific cookies.
No. 796510
File: 1619938292576.jpeg (515.91 KB, 2255x2000, 4DB90BDB-94EC-4552-80A0-31F098…)
Cp on /w
No. 796580
File: 1619941642881.gif (664.88 KB, 220x215, 48932048392074257.gif)
>>796513I'm sorry
nonny, I hope you receive better treatment either by your partner having a sudden moment of enlightenment or else just getting away from their psychotic ass. You deserve better and that sounds incredibly stressful on top of having moved so far.
No. 796637
>>796513Been there, the guy never actually called the cops (just threatened it like a dozen times) He'd start the arguments, he'd escalate the arguments, he'd be the only one raging and then he'd use that threat as some power move to get me to agree to whatever his latest demand was. The joy of being in a lease with a scrote like that! I feel for you anon.
I got out of that situation and the very next thing I did was get my own solo mortgage in an area where I could manage the cost. I know it's messy and stressful as hell right now but you'll get out and be better off without him. Remember that once they pull that shit once they never stop resorting to the same petty controlling tactics.
No. 796656
File: 1619954562722.jpeg (72.65 KB, 587x605, CEDE6949-47D7-427D-AE5F-51D8E3…)
I really wish I could just sleep forever and ever and ever and never wake up. Each day I’m sleeping, my bodily vitals decrease, and the more I can eventually be put to rest. If you’re a suicidefag just don’t even bother, fucking it up will lower even more of your self-esteem. Just run through life creating drama, feeling like shit, wanting to relieve the damage you caused by manipulation/drugs/alcohol and profit
No. 796670
File: 1619955525491.jpg (48.14 KB, 600x400, mexican-torta-e1523296104751.j…)
I'm so fucking hungry, I want a Mexican chicken torta… I can't have bread because I have genetic issues that makes my body hate a high amount of carbs and since I found this out I've had to stray away from so many of my favorites. I figured out I can just use keto marketed bread instead. I'm so pumped. I can't wait to make tortas.
Also the other day i found out radishes have a similar flavor to potatoes, so now i can dice them and fry them up and eat away.
No. 796680
I hate the type of radfem that seems to get off on hating femininity. I get it, I really do. I hate that it's attached to womanhood, despite it being an unnatural state ("Femininity?" What's so female about it?). I hate that it's expected of women. But guess what? Some people really do like having shaved bodies and wearing skirts, casually. Quite a number of women are still shaving in quarantine, even though a lot of them have dropped off. Some of them genuinely just prefer smooth skin. Personally, growing out my body hair increases BO and acne. I'd rather shave once a week than be stinky and pus-leaking. Pants chafe and constrict me too much, as someone who's fairly short and has thick thighs. Shorts and skirts are much more comfortable. I'm sure there's many other women like me, who have perfectly rational reasons for their femininity, that have nothing to do with other people.
It really feels like some GNC women who didn't troon out are looking for an alternative way to be misogynistic. Not to say it's misogynistic to hate femininity (personally/politically), but it is absolutely misogynistic to specifically hate feminine women. No woman is responsible for the patriarchal expectations forced upon you. Belittling and resenting feminine women isn't feminist. You're actively hating on women who are either victims of the same system, or just living how they're comfortable. Considering all pillows to be weapons because they're pretty frequently used to smother people to death would be retarded. Same applies here.
No. 796694
File: 1619959018913.gif (667.22 KB, 480x287, giphy (1).gif)
>>796680>No woman is responsible for the patriarchal expectations forced upon youHeterosexual women, so most women, are the first gatekeepers of patriarchal beauty standards and patriarchy in general. They're the ones forcing femininity upon their little daughters, breaking their spirits, just like their mothers broke theirs. In my, unpopular, opinion, patriarchy wouldn't have existed for so long if enough women show more resistence, but that will never happen, because maintaining the status quo between men and women grants them privileges No. 796702
>>796680Yeah I've lots of very feminine friends who are women I look up to and know how to not take shit from scrotes. They respect me not being feminine and growing my leg beard out so I'm not sure why I'm meant to shit on them like they're gender traitors just for having smooth legs and wearing skirts.
>>796686Criticism of femininity per se isn't the problem, it's when feminine women are dunked on for that, even if they're not enforcing compulsory femininity on anyone else. It's a weird kind of NLOGism, to prove that one hasn't succumbed to socialisation as much as other women, even though avoiding femininity seems like as much as a reaction to being gendered in society as seeking femininity out.
Plus the upside of femininity is that if you arbitrarily assign a hobby or interest to being feminine, you can deter scrotes from ruining it. It's not all bad.
No. 796703
File: 1619959673618.jpg (64.49 KB, 540x487, tumblr_ppwyy6xWPF1y1qfjoo1_540…)
You know you're far gone when you start fantasizing about a cow you'd usual laugh at being your girlfriend & lifting her up to kiss her. I know it's just because of loneliness but god damn it I want to kiss her. Anons always talk about straight women having bad taste but true equality is realizing lesbians can catch feelings for trashy individuals just as easy.
No. 796709
Hear, hear.
>>796680 is a perfect blend of libfem "individual choices" bullshittery and learned victimhood cause apparently we can't criticize any woman's shitty self-rationalization. To make an extreme analogy, bound feet in Chian had "perfectly rational reasons" behind it : small feet were widely considered prettier than wide feet, and brought all the associated benefits of following beauty standards. Mothers broke their daughters' feet for a thousand years for that reason, and it's perfectly rational. Doesn't make it right.
I like some of the things associated with feminity/reserved to women. I don't blind myself to the reasons why.
No. 796711
File: 1619960487584.png (Spoiler Image,66.73 KB, 440x347, Woman-with-bound-feet-2-min.pn…)
>>796709In case anyone needs to visualize how fucking horrifying "feminity" can get
No. 796712
>>796680I don't do make up, skirts or heels and the hair on my head is only a lil longer than the hair on my legs. I feel like most femme things are fairly optional but body hair is the one thing that above all others is stupidly pushed and shamed by both sexes. The butch-est women out there who wear all male clothing and use close to no producs.. still shave their legs or hide them away. It's that one last thing we have to stick to. Female body hair shame is in it's own league of being taboo and shamed.
I'm fine with feminine women. That femininity might be part chore and conformity but still part enjoyment and interest. Who am I to say what that balance is for other women. I'd love to see more push back against body hair rules but in general women dressing feminine doesn't make me feel any more pressured to perform in those ways.
No. 796725
>>796718Following beauty standards in both cases.
If it was purely a matter of acne then it has no relation to feminity and
>>796680 would shave if she were a man too. She just want to be patted and the head and stop the big bad feminists from criticizing stuff she likes.
No. 796727
>>796711This is horrifying because no woman would ever choose it without pressuring forces, unless they were extreme body modders who arguably have other issues going on, but tell me how the fuck that's the same as wearing a skirt or shaving legs or putting fucking fairy lights up over your bed or lighting candles before having a wank or resolving disputes without violence or intimacy in platonic friendships or knowing fucking colour theory or any of the things that are absurdly inexplicably categorised as feminine, which we should be glad they are because it scares men off them and keeps them all for us.
There's
toxic masculinity but also a lot of masculinity that isn't
toxic, so why can't it be the same for femininity? Why can't femininity just be women's culture, instead of culture imposed on women?
No. 796731
>>796722Kek no, butches are cool and sexy. I just find women who put down other women and claim to be feminist annoying.
>>796725I'm samefag as both, and yeah, I would shave as a man. I find this discussion sets off a lot of GNC radfems because they hear the word "feminine" and start reeing. I get that there's nothing biologically feminine about shaved legs, but currently it's culturally "feminine," and saying as much helps meaningfully contextualize the treatment that certain groups of women recieve.
Maybe it's better to say it this way: Currently a lot of feminist women resent other women who "conform," even on an individual level, and mock/belittle them, when they could be spending time on actual feminist activism. I get the feeling most women writing thinkpieces about how being a girly girl is bad and makes you evil aren't actually out in the political side of things, they're just terminally online and misdirecting their anger, at least partially.
No. 796741
>>796733GNC women are badass and I love them. I'm not offended by other women existing differently from me, I'm offended by women who claim to be feminist insisting that I'm somehow lesser to them for not being sufficiently GNC feminist. I've literally been repeatedly told that I'm less intelligent, less well-read, a slave to men (I'm a lesbian), etc, just for not being nonconformist enough. It reeks of internalized misogyny. The implication that I'm unable to perform free thought because of personal choices is patronizing.
>>796738NTAYRT But I agree. I have absolutely no problem with discussion of imposed femininity; I actually encourage it. I don't want anyone to be socially expected to do anything needless. I just wish my personal expression didn't result in other women calling into question my intelligence or authenticity.
No. 796743
>>796718>>796727The point is that leg binding, FGM, breast ironing and such horrifying procedures are extreme examples of how far female body control can go to, but in those countries or time eras it's no less special than shaving and putting on makeup. These procedures weren't done to inflict pain on girls, it was to "give them a better chance at life". Like
>>796736 said some of them are done completely consensually. I swear if cutting off a piece of your ear was considered attractive for females people would be lining up for the procedure and claim it's their own, innate choice and absolutely not something memed upon them by the societal expectations set for women.
>>796738This. Feminine women continue to benefit from how they present and their main issue seems to be that strawman feminists consider them "dumb bimbo pickmes" for putting on makeup because they take the criticism against performative femininity as a personal attack. Sorry, but that tells a lot more about you than these blue haired feminist goons who lurk around the corner to shame you for shaving your legs. Just because you're asked to reconsider if your desire to conform is really because "you like it" or actually because it just makes your life easier isn't taking away your right to do so.
No. 796758
File: 1619964411134.jpg (32.11 KB, 450x319, 36774515.jpg)
Mods forgive me for the reeeing I have wrought, I can only hope the threadgoers report me and everyone involved for infighting, so that you may obliterate us and restore this thread to its former glory.
No. 796765
File: 1619964835807.jpg (25.77 KB, 500x500, e6fca35c7ffa6fe5731b2c40f5e5c3…)
>>796762I will be waiting there for you.
Actually made me laugh, thanks. No. 796773
File: 1619966464169.gif (67.48 KB, 120x90, tenor (5) (4).gif)
>bf comes home from work
>"Anon did you see there are pastries in the fridge?"
>I didn't buy any pastries, so fucking wat???
>go check the fridge
>can't figure out what bf is referencing
>it's the sushi
>bf is so blind he's mistaken fish and rice for sweets
No. 796805
>>796440this isn't harsh and totally justified. your sister sounds like a mess.
>>796470are you coming off as awkward or creepy? this post doesn't have much detail but if it's irl when someone I don't know compliments me say thanks and that's it.
No. 796807
File: 1619969885312.jpg (94.69 KB, 883x448, Wtf.jpg)
Some farmers are so pathetic
No. 796811
>>796797I said
things they cannot change, problems that are just inherent and will exist not matter how much we try to change them. There are some things/ info that fucked me up deeply but nobody couldn't really fix them. Maybe I'm just too young, maybe I'll accept these things when i grow older.
No. 796814
File: 1619970365022.jpg (160.72 KB, 1280x1280, Time Blur_ Photo.jpg)
>>796450Thank you, anon. I wrote another post earlier about how what I loved about them, but it just made me emotional so I deleted it. I think I will make them a coffin and bury them by a rose that I have in my yard. Also gives me a good reason to plant rose bushes
I would bury them in my houseplants, but that might be an issue when I go to re-pot them. One of the snails has a really beautiful shell, but I have no idea how to clean out shells so burying them is the only option.
No. 796830
File: 1619971555925.png (27.99 KB, 1303x147, dissect their faces.png)
>>796807lmao this one's worse
No. 796889
>>796876its not only here, some women cry and genuinely feel like their life is over every birthday past 30 if they havent achieved goals like marriage or kids yet.
our society is sick and its easy to get caught up in this kind of thinking, even at 18 some girls feel like their life is downhill from there as they start to look like adults. i just feel sad that we even need that thread but i have a lot of empathy for those anons, i hope talking about it helps them.
No. 796946
>>796933right on the money with the projection. After I told him he was an idiot the fat ass says it made sense since he's an emotional binger and 10k in a day is no big deal so obviously a girl one third his size could eat double as much.
But yeah, I'm bloated, cranky and refusing any more human contact for the day
No. 797050
File: 1619984663530.jpg (66.22 KB, 640x480, d8b9a658-1f38-4260-b13b-db12cf…)
Why is it so damn hard to let go of someone who wasn't even that good for me? I could list a long list of shit he did to me and things why I find him gross. Yet I am still attracted to him, I still want to take his virginity. The fuck is wrong with me? Please nonas, make some sense into me!!!!
No. 797119
File: 1619987872686.jpeg (150.32 KB, 551x625, D1C8B8EB-AEB0-425B-99E3-644BB4…)
what the fuck even is mental fortitude? I want muh kids to build character and strength, no you’re just retarded now they’re all emotionally repressed bloodsuckers and it’s even worse when they become adults because the behaviors become so unhinged and controlled because the illusions of freedom are immediately placed on us. there are horrors in my mist, in whatever dumbass is reading my blogging and sperging, we are all going down and I couldn’t be anymore happier. enjoy the fiery ride, ladies
No. 797177
File: 1619990891722.jpg (38.91 KB, 564x564, 6b9e6397f86df4ee4658a1267cd5a1…)
I finally am going to a clinic due to depression and other stuff affecting my way of living. Im happy im going there, and i do want to get better, but at the same time i dont wanna go. Im so stressed about it, theres so many people there, it makes me anxious.
Is it wrong of me not wanting to go??? i just feel completely stressed out constantly. But i do know i have to go there if i want to be more "normal" mentally. It sucks so much.
I also missed a day of going there on purpose because i have a phobia of needles, and they had to take my blood due to my low weight. I didn't call there or gone to the doctor to get a doctors notice. So it makes me even more stressed out because i have the feeling if i go there tomorrow, i will get in a load of shit.
No. 797181
Finally seeing the visible signs of aging on my face and being traumatized by it has made me hate and resent men more than ever, realizing that they're allowed to live their lives naturally, developing creases and dimples and little jowls without a care in the world, still being considered sexy 'mature' men well into their craggy faced 70s, whereas women are expected to obsessively maintain totally smooth, firm, texture free faces like porcelain fucking dolls our entire lives, and once our cheeks inevitably start to sink in, or droop a little, or we get creases around our mouths, we're just considered old, haggard, and past our prime, not fun, not sexy, not cute, just visibly older then women in their 20's and therefore in a different, separate group of humanity entirely. I'm so fucking sick of 21st century female social conditioning that it's making me borderline homicidal.
No. 797227
I have an article due tonight, a five page paper due tomorrow that I haven’t started, I’m working four nights this week, have to drive 40 minutes home and back to do a 30 minute interview with my friend’s mom while my friend isn’t even there for a class, write a paper about that, work 4 closing shifts next week, write a ten page paper, and do a final that’s basically a 6 page essay for the same class. I timed my second covid vaccine to be the day after my finals ended cause I felt like shit after the first one but then my professor who didn’t grade anything for over a month moved back the ten page paper so now it’s due the night after I get my vaccine, so basically when I’d be sick. I tried to reschedule the vaccine but you can only make appointments 5 days in advance, so I can only call and try to get another timeline for two days later 3 days before I was supposed to get it. If it doesn’t get moved, I have to find someone to take my shifts the day of and the day after my vaccine and also finish the ten page paper early when I only have a 2 day buffer after the final for that class. And I have to move out of my apartment the day after the ten page paper is due/the day I’m trying to schedule my covid vaccine to. This has been the hardest semester of my life and I’m crying all the time, get to see my boyfriend once a week, and now have to move an hour away from him for a month and a half until my next apartment opens up. I’m at the end of my rope ladies if I survive the next two weeks it’ll be a fucking miracle.
No. 797268
>>797254This reminds me of something, I’ve had stretch marks on my hips since puberty. I used to absolutely obsess about it and hate my body, even though they really weren’t that noticeable or abnormal in retrospect. I never wore bathing suits my entire teen years because I thought I was a hideous freak. Some guys even told me I needed to exercise more (even though I was already pretty fit). A few years later I dated this guy who used to be fat and lost a lot of weight, he had stretch marks on his back, arms, and stomach. I asked if the marks bothered him and he was confused, he was like “what stretch marks?” He had never noticed them until I pointed them out, even though they were all over his body and
very noticeable. After I pointed it out he just shrugged it off.
I spent years thinking I was a gross monster for having light stretch marks on my hips, but this guy’s whole body was covered with them and he never even noticed kek. Absolutely blew my mind someone could look like that and just “never notice.”
No. 797323
File: 1620005070612.jpg (43.21 KB, 563x425, EcwmAEYXkAMn9by.jpg)
>orders same shit from restaurant 3 days in a row
>they raise the mf price
WTF STOP DOING THIS TO MEEEE DON'T THINK I WON'T MOVE ON FROM U
No. 797325
File: 1620005278234.png (632.6 KB, 438x700, o.png)
My vagina hurts so fucking bad. I just want to down this whole bottle of antibiotics so it'll feel better
No. 797331
tw autism and retardation
okay so last summer I turned 26 and got kicked off of my parents' insurance, which means I couldn't go to therapy anymore. but before that happened my psychiatrist put me on zoloft, and she prescribed me a lot of it so that I would have a few months before it ran out. well, it just ran out. and my brain is not happy about it. I didn't even realize when I was on zoloft how much of a positive affect it was having on me, but after I stopped taking it I kept getting this weird feeling that I can only describe as electrical charges going through my brain, or something falling inside of my head (like blood rushing down maybe?). my psychiatrist warned me that this would be a side effect of going off zoloft. I've also been feeling more depressed and more paranoid, like little things that shouldn't be that sad feel really sad and my paranoia is really intense which it hasn't been for a long time. everything is making me sad and upset
it's probably been about 9 or 10 days since I've been off of zoloft. and then a few days ago I just randomly started having this obsession with an actor who was really hot when he was younger like?? it came out of the blue and I don't even remember what sparked it. I've always known he had been hot but I was never obsessed with him like this. all I want to do is watch movies that he was in, and when I'm at work I just daydream about til I can come home and do that again. and I keep having thoughts like "I'll never be with him or anyone as beautiful" and it's making me so depressed, which sounds fucking retarded but that's the state of my brain right now I guess. the scary thing is that I don't know if it will even ware off or not, or if I'm just stuck like this, all I can do is wait
No. 797341
File: 1620007020402.png (341.6 KB, 466x461, fsfsdf.png)
>groomed and molested 5-6 years old
>groped at 9 and still think about it
>groomed and almost kidnapped by a pedo on facebook at 12, asked me for nude pics and i actually did it cause i was stupid and the previous grooming fucked with my perception of what was okay and not
>14-17 think im a tranny cause i hate being a lesbian and i hate being seen sexually by men. thank god i never told anyone i thought i was a man
>18 the vet closes the door to his office and gropes me while my mom is in the waiting room outside
>21 groped by a coworker
>tell my boyfriend at the time and he calls me a whore, a slut, etc. says it was all my fault and that "i didnt do enough" and it happened to me for being a "fucking idiot". almost breaks up with me over this because "it was all my fault and i should have done more". keep in mind i was a skinny 5'0 girl telling a 6'3 fat fuck in his mid twenties to stop
>22 get drunk with friends, my closest friend from middle school says he's going to take care of me cause he's sober and im not. he rapes me while im drunk.
>22 single and constantly used for sex and nudes and then immediately thrown into the curve afterwards
>even three friends (not counting rapist) basically sweet talked me into how much they loved me and they really just wanted sex from me. two of them were actually super close, and im only friends with one still
>start losing my mind because i hate sex so much but i cant stop giving sex to people
>a bunch of repressed shit like the pedo from when i was 12 starts coming back to me
>hate sex so fucking much
>my psychiatrist says im doing great cause i know its the grooming and assaults that fucked with how i see sex
>im not doing great
>im having suicidal thoughts again for the first time in three or four years
>cant kill myself cause i attempted twice before and hurt my family and i feel bad hurting them again in any way
>want to fucking die. i hate scrotes. i hate sex. i hate myself. i hate waking up every morning to remember all of this shit time and time again.
No. 797351
File: 1620007713187.jpeg (68.62 KB, 500x500, D75A1CF6-5332-4F7E-B7C5-6AD331…)
what is the point of posting in the vent thread, don’t you people have real life friends and family to talk about this stuff to? kind of odd that anons tell each other to go touch grass but this is one of the most popular threads on here, maybe a lot of you can’t admit your weakness and vulnerability you old bats, please die already the old age cope is getting ridiculous(shit bait)
No. 797352
File: 1620007781577.jpeg (69.27 KB, 1024x789, 30F8F8B1-9D55-49C9-8ED3-8574C3…)
I feel so pathetic for spending the last hour having a panic attack and bawling my eyes out over a first date. It was significant as I’ve never been on one ever, and it wasn’t horrible (I think the guy was really nervous too) but I can’t help but replay the whole evening in my head looking for things that went wrong. We’ve set up a second date for next Saturday but I’m already terrified that something is going to go wrong or he’s going to think I’m annoying. I feel like life doesn’t want me to have love, I really do…so I’m scared of fucking this up.
No. 797359
File: 1620008720862.jpg (82.13 KB, 960x720, Neon Genesis Evangelion - 05 -…)
>>797227i have to build a computer by tomorrow and i've not gotten the cpu yet. i'm sitting here listening to blackpink for a bit before i can psych myself up and do it. drink some monster, and take some addy if you've got it, maybe do a little weed. nyquil too! we'll be fine anon. praying for you
No. 797360
File: 1620008724634.jpg (79.77 KB, 750x734, 1599009058963.jpg)
I have so much to do, but here I am, laying back on the sofa almost motionless doing nothing about it because I'm so goddamn exhausted. Spending nearly every waking moment at my job is draining my damn soul. I don't have time to do shit anymore. The paycheck isn't worth it, and honest to god, even if I was earning $75k/year that wouldn't magically give me energy and freetime. My head hurts.
No. 797413
File: 1620014757023.png (522.24 KB, 640x764, 49DD954F-4E4C-4819-A7F7-3688F5…)
I hate being tall. I’m not extremely tall but still tower over other women, I feel really masculine and “big” all the time. Dating and crushes feel discouraging, men want the tiniest girl they can get (and vice versa) so why would they look my way? I feel like the fucking BFG.
I know I’m just being a bitch but I fucking hate hate hate it when some 5’2” girl says “you’re sooo tall, I’d love to be tall”, they’re either lying through their teeth or they mean they want to be like 5’5”, 5’6” max.
I feel bad because I know this is really vapid but I just wanted to get it off my overly broad linebacker shoulders.
No. 797417
File: 1620015407524.png (17.4 KB, 98x99, 714564159483674639.png)
is this a wildly inappropriate thing to post in a discord server? the chat went dead like immediately after i sent it
No. 797442
File: 1620019417993.jpeg (172.34 KB, 912x718, 50FDF7D2-B468-4A83-8504-FC394E…)
>>797437What consequences of breaking up with him are you most afraid of anon? Feeling lonely? Guilt? Dating again?
Maybe they won’t seem so insurmountable if they’re not unknown.
No. 797447
>>797395as much as i want to commit arson, he is a gentle moid. but thanks for the kick in the pants, it made me feel a little better. i'm just venting so i haven't had a serious talk with him yet–i think if i voice how unhappy this place makes me he really would get us out.
>>797409tbh i don't come from money, so the stuff that i can do with my newfound privilege doesn't come naturally to me if that makes sense. but yeah i'm gonna do it ASAP, and see if i can't get somebody to sand down the cabinets and repaint them. i'm just so not used to having that option
No. 797456
File: 1620020170278.jpg (77.75 KB, 680x453, E0PFWTlXoAA4x0G.jpg)
I wish I were "normal", or at least interesting and intelligent. Whenever I cause a conversation to die or get weird looks because of my (poor) attempts at humor or inaccurate observations, it just makes me want to die.
Worst part of this, is that I can't even find solace online. I'm terribly awkward here too. It's just lonely. I'm lonely. Whenever I think "Okay. I'm fine with being socially retarded now" something or someone comes along and makes me desire normalcy.
All my life it's like I've been an outsider looking in on other people's lives, like people go on to form relationships through a tiny window I can only enviously peek through. I don't know. I'm tired of trying to break that window down.
No. 797460
File: 1620020338744.jpeg (52.19 KB, 400x386, 0E6F724B-278C-4449-938F-8C1DA9…)
Farmers I just found out yesterday that I wasn’t insane thinking my mom was abusive in a bizarre way I couldn’t understand. I read about emotional parentification yesterday and enmeshed mothers and it fits my mom to a T. Even the part where it’s completely unintentional, my mother’s just an emotionally immature, unstable woman.
I know she didn’t mean to do this, but the damage she’s done to me is devastating and I’m already sensing potential psychological sequels in my 15 yo brother. Shit fucks me up because i’m dependent on her financially, and I can’t work (epic disability) I try to patch this relationship but she never gives in in this abuse that matters the most, she cries like a teenager, and I’m so drained from being diplomatic with her. She’s an emotional vortex.
I didn’t know this counted as abuse. I feel like my life is a lie. I have no one to tell this to irl cause I live with her alone. She’s unintentionally made me doubt my own perceptions. Shit has me fucked up.
No. 797484
File: 1620023125049.jpg (113.93 KB, 525x787, c35c80d90ab6085b590ea122425fcc…)
I feel my chest so heavy. Wish I could cry to relieve it, but I'm just not sad enough. Hate this feeling.
No. 797486
File: 1620023522557.jpg (147.86 KB, 904x1024, omfg.jpg)
Why do my favorite characters always love to run into danger, despite not being well equipped to do so? Like girl, I understand one of your best friends just got kidnapped, but come on now.
No. 797494
>>797177being evasive of seeking help and thinking you dont deserve it or need it is a key symptom of most people going through depression/anxiety. Listen to the rational part of your brain that says you're happy to be going there and making progress. In the short term it feels scary and uncomfortable, but keep reminding yourself that you gotta push through the discomfort before things start to feel normal again. Proud of you
nonny!
No. 797505
File: 1620030215475.png (838.07 KB, 800x777, 1601203103040.png)
It's been years and yet these pedos from back when I was underage doing extremely inappropriate things for old men keep managing to find me online. I literally have changed my accounts so many times and in the process losing a lot of my older aquaintances and I just, ugh, some faggot found my new account someHOW talking about how he still has nudes of me from when I was a minor and I just literally wanna kms, will this shit never fucking leave me? I'm so tired. I was having such a pleasant day too. It's been years, please, please leave me alone I'm really so tired
No. 797538
>>797536A)What platform are they sending it on? Report them there
B) report them to the police in your own country
C) report them for harassment in their own country (do you know what that is?)
D) are they making fake profiles to send you this?
E) contact the cyber police in your own country and tell them about the harassment
F) it isn’t hopeless. They will keep doing it until you fight back.
What country are you from? I’ll look it up for you. They won’t stop. They will torment you for the rest of your life because they are jealous. They want to sabotage your future so that you never outrank them. Men are nasty jealous creatures and they need to be put in their place.
No. 797542
>>797536I guarantee there is at least one non judgemental woman you can trust, who you can tell. You need to take the first step. Do something about it today
nonny or they honestly won’t stop.
No. 797558
File: 1620037287081.jpeg (130.65 KB, 640x636, 47618AEF-3C1A-4B0E-9F65-E05C2D…)
I want to live in a big stately home in the countryside all alone. No one would talk to me or bother me and I would just get to relax and explore the grounds of my massive house every day, lie in the garden and sleep there. I would sit at the windows and watch how peaceful and quiet everything is. I hope this dream comes true because quite frankly I’m going insane. I want to cry but nobody will hold me. That’s why I want the big house.
No. 797559
>>797538It was on ig, my account has no posts, no followers that kind of stuff, I just feel if I do something, show any kind of response, it would just egg them on. And I really don't want to egg them on, I don't even care if they have those images/videos, I just don't want them to contact me at all. And I'm p sure it's a burner account.
Our country is notorious for not giving a single shit about this stuff, and blaming the women and whatnot. I don't want to '
trigger' this dude into doing something more like contacting my family, I'm in a muslim household, you understand, it would literally be the end of me, as in, dropping out of college and getting married to some scrote asap type of deal. So I just don't want it to escalate. And like, my mom, she loves me so much, I don't want to hurt her.
No. 797580
File: 1620040831543.jpg (Spoiler Image,422.97 KB, 953x1468, 20210503_071723.jpg)
The worst part about getting older isnt even no longer being desirable, its knowing you have aged out of the age group to fuck cuties. I never thought about the grim reality of having to fuck men age 30+ until now. Everytime I see a very attractive man hes always under the age of 25. I dont wanna be a cougar either, I just wanna be young. At least when I was young I could tolerate scrotes abuse more but now they have skin like a boiled hot dog and dad bods but act the same way, there was no improvement in empathy or maturity with age but they all act like they're younger than me and love to neg me for my age. I was scrolling on tiktok and saw this guy and felt butterflies looking at him then I see his age and hes 18.
No. 797591
>>797588Exactlt. Maybe not all men but I think most men
An older dude will have bigger chances for getting younger woman into "serious" relationship than an older woman with a younger guy. Statistically there's way more relationships between older men and younger women than older women and younger men
No. 797592
File: 1620042232262.jpg (45.51 KB, 296x282, 20210313_022726.jpg)
Someone I know just got top surgery and hates it so much,I feel so bad for her but feel like it's mostly post surgery blues or just gc awakenings
No. 797594
>>797580I find this interesting because I thought about this phenomenon a lot, where young women feel like they only have to date someone their age or younger. I’m in my early 20s myself and in college. My friends and I would see newer faces but refrain from crushing on them cause we know they’re only 18/19 and we’d feel weird about it. So our only option from there on was to only like guys above us. But the guys on the other hand absolutely enjoy talking to the younger female students or checking them out. I realised for guys, from there on, they can go for any new female student. Even when they graduate and get jobs they can hit on much younger women because of our socialisation. There’s no limit for them (except for being an adult ofc). The But most women think they have to settle for older guys or guys their age.
My friends don’t even look at guys one year younger. Female socialisation restricts us in so many ways I’ve never noticed before because they seem so trivial.
No. 797597
>>797413Just keep in mind most men want tiny girls so they can easily dominate and control them. It's not even a matter of finding them cute, they just want to feel powerful standing next to a 4'9 midget. By being tall you filter out most of the
toxic and
abusive scrotes. And yeah, once you do that there's barely anyone left because scrotes ain't shit. Be patient, there are decent guys out there who would think your height only adds to your beauty.
No. 797604
File: 1620043288320.jpg (13.31 KB, 236x314, bdaa8268f99d3bbe2f2c3de7ec1842…)
I feel like a lot of people who say "just be yourself/fuck what other people think" are privileged enough to live in a society where beauty standards aren't as harsh as in other people, or they have a support system that backs them up. Ever since I was 13 I always admired goth fashion (everything from 80s goths to American mall-goths) and seeing how it resurged in some ways makes me sad that I can't participate. I come from a small town/village in a second world country where non-conformity or failure to be a normie results in people ostracizing you in best case scenario, or bullying and treating you like you're subhuman and a punching bag in worst case scenario. Every time I vent a bit to my friends they always bring out the "the people who matter will love u!!!" card and I end the discussion because I don't want an argument to start. I used to be bullied when I was in middle school just for the fact that I was a physically late bloomer tomboy and wore band shirts with black clothing. It went as bad as guys treating me like a low hanging fruit and pushing me around like a doormat. I hate victimizing myself and I'm not looking for symapathy from people, I only wish that others were more open minded to the fact that so many people are close minded. I know many girls are in my situation and even worse and playing the "lol just b yourself haters will hate" is a dangerous game to encourage others to play. I just had to get this off my chest because this argument is so invalidating and even insulting to some.
No. 797607
>>797601But is what you see the norm? I found this
>The average age difference (for a heterosexual couple) is 2.3 years, with the man older than the woman. In 64 percent of heterosexual couples, the man is older. In 23 percent, the woman is older, and in the remaining 13 percent, the partners are less than 12 months apart in ageAlso check out the marriage statistics here
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationshipsMost marriages have 1 year age gap, then 2-3 year age gap. Sure marriages with big gaps exist but that's not the norm
I really feel like the "odler men and much younger women" meme is just pushed by the media owned by power-hungry men, angry MRAs, incels and rightoids but it doesn't reflect reality. I once saw some marriage statistics from XIX century Endgland and again, the majority of couples had 1-3 year age gap
No. 797611
>>797413Nahhh. I'm 5'4, average by most standards, but people, men especially, take me way less seriously than taller women. Overexplaining concepts i know well, staring right down my chest, even patting me on the head, I fucking hate feeling so small. I'd love to be 6' tall. But, y'know, grass is always greener.
Also, I've noticed being taller has come into fashion, too, so to speak. I mean, have you seen the thirstfest on twitter for that tall lady in the Resident Evil 8 trailer? Strangely enough, most of my guy friends prefer tall women as well.
Despite your insecurities and what's in fashion now, you should remember scrotes really aren't shit, and that your height probably scares them or makes you seem too human for them to manipulate. So you're weeding out the more controlling guys naturally. Basically everything
>>797597 said.
No. 797620
>>797604I understand how you feel, being harassed for the stuff you like fucking sucks, especially when you want to look even more unconventional than you already do. People are so intolerant of anything remotely different. I'm not trying to argue with you by saying this, but I want you to know this: I literally get bullied by middle school children in public sometimes when I go outside, and I don't have any friends to defend me, either. The solution really is to grow a thick skin. I mean unless you're literally going to get your ass beaten by wearing what you want, then obviously don't do it. But you can start doing baby steps into looking how you want so people come to accept that you're going to start looking weirder over time. I've had people look at me and immediately start yelling at me in public that I need Jesus to save me, I've had people hold Bibles up to me and back away like I was going to attack them making me look weirdly aggressive in public, people try to give me pamphlets, stop to invite me to their church, ect. One time a group of girls followed me a few blocks down the shopping center yelling insults at me and then held a door shut so I couldn't enter and they were all laughing. Humiliating, really, but I'm not going to try and fight with a bunch of immature teenagers. Being accosted kind of comes with the whole package, in my opinion.
But I still go out looking like an edgy freak because I like it. Maybe I'm just embarrassing myself and/or pissing you off by saying this, but I just wanted to give my two cents. These fashions don't have to be expensive either, I mean historically most alternative/subculture people DIY'ed the things they wore. You can find tutorials online and some pretty cool shit in thrift stores. Maybe there's a local music scene you can explore to find people who are similar, too.
No. 797633
File: 1620047337925.jpg (56.96 KB, 710x533, raraka_compare.jpg)
>>797604I know the risk of being assaulted or at least harassed is real for a lot of people, in urban settings as well and it breaks my heart.
I acknowledge I'm semi-privileged, because I don't live in a place where people literally kill each other, but I still move through areas where the risk of assault is present. I like taking walks though, I'm mostly left alone but it's always scary to detect people who are paying a bit too much attention or are under the influence etc.
I'm not gonna mock or 'splain to others who take less risks than I do, because I know not everyone has the same motivation, gall or impulsivity as I do. I've literally revised my diet and excercise to be stronger, and I'm lucky to be 170cm tall, which can look intimidating if one is particularly muscular or has a resting bitch face. Not everyone has the chance to do so. No matter how much I wish and hope and pray, it's not gonna be the case for every woman out there.
This world sucks. I hate how extra everything has to be. I've come to terms with how unfair the world is, but I like thanks I still hate it. I hope you'll some day find your way and courage, but I mostly sympathize (empathize? not sure if right word rn) with you and don't want to force feed my coping methods or tactics.
No. 797700
File: 1620054700346.jpeg (92.72 KB, 933x1114, D809CFF6-8C0C-41FB-910C-1F71F4…)
I’m so sick of hearing 19 year olds who’ve never read any feminist theory say that feminism only benefits white cishet women. Clearly you have never read or watched anything made by someone who wasn’t a white libfem.
Also we don’t need to cater to men in skirts kek
No. 797730
File: 1620056427944.jpeg (37.49 KB, 500x302, 5727D89B-AC91-46F0-97B0-FD123A…)
>>797454Okay, that’s reasonable. Being alone and not having someone to share your life sigh is a
valid fear. It sounds like you have some standards and needs for your future marriage though, and unfortunately you currently don’t have a person who will meet them, period. Staying with him will probably cause a lot more harm because you’re clearly not going to get your needs met, plus you’re not able to even try to date and find someone who will because you’re with him.
I think you just need to accept you’re already “single” in a sense, but worse. I don’t know you but I doubt you’re inherently unlovable. It’s definitely concerning, most men are garbage so I get worrying you have no chance of finding a decent one.
But at least moving on and trying gives you a 1 percent chance, with this guy you have a 0% chance. Before you do that, address your self esteem and confidence issues, because that’s going to be the one thing that kills your search when you do dump this loser and move on.
Good luck Anon.
No. 797768
>>797745It really does.
>tfw 5'5" but live in the tallest country in the world so always get comments about how short I am anywayI don't really mind my height but boy is it cool to travel to other countries and notice that if anything you're a little taller than most women you see on the streets. Seriously puts things into perspective.
No. 797840
>>797778The chad meme is so fucking weird to me.
The obsession some scrotes have with it is so bizarre.
No. 797850
>>797778Agreed. The Wojaks are probably what annoys me the most. Somehow it's gone from generic 'feel guy' to a gorillion versions that become more and more meaningless. Especially the doomer and doomerette wojaks are the worst, since 99% of the time they're used in a sort of falsely self-deprecating 'haha I'm such a depressed loser but also I like to identify with this one the most because I think he looks cool' way. Yeah we get it, you're a sad nihilistic emo boy whose haircut is totally naturally /fa/, not that you care, because obviously you're too cool and cynical to value your looks.
And then there's the people who draw them as pretty animes and are just on the verge of writing fanfiction about these meme 'characters'. This also applies to Chad & virgin and to political compass/ideology memes by the way.
Slightly related, I like Jregs videos where he does comedy sketches with personified political compass types, but holy shit is the 'fandom' that grew around that the most cringeworthy shit ever. I'm talking about people unironically drawing sexy anime versions of these characters in dramatic comics and shit. I get that husbando-ing the most abstract and unlikely characters is just what teenage girls (mostly) do, but it's so stupid.
No. 797859
>>797855>>797840I don't think it's gay, it's just easy for loser scrotes to blame their lack of romantic success on a cartoonishly masculine jock stereotype instead of on themselves. To them the idea of the Chad is that he's everything that they're not and can never be, physically and socially. If you then delude yourself into thinking women only want Chad, aka a type designed to be as unrealistic and unattainable as possible, you can just stop putting in any effort and wallow in self pity. It's the ultimate excuse to sit back, call the world unfair and erase any responsibility of your own.
For women there isn't really an equivalent because they aren't usually as entitled as scrotes.
No. 797912
>>797869I'm sorry
nonny. I had this happen many times as well. On one occassion an asshole followed me in the city for multiple blocks making aggressive sexual advances toward me and when I didn't respond he started saying how I had a stick up my ass and spitting other insults. I ended up going to a bus stop where I saw other people, both men (larger than him) and women, and no one said a thing. I guess they figured it wasn't their business, even though it wasn't technically mine either and this dude was harassing a total stranger. Eventually he fucked off but it was as if nothing happened even though I was visibly distressed.
On a nicer note, there was another time where a guy made several gross comments about how he just wanted to look at me and started stalking me around a store. Employees didn't do shit but another woman saw him and loudly asked what he was doing and who he was talking to. He gave some mumbled excuse and I managed to lose him while he was distracted. I was too scared to go back at the time but I wish I could have thanked her, my guardian angel.
No. 797916
>>797897Ok you have to tell me which shithole country you are from.
I never heard of any European country in which women disappear often on random roads.
WTF?
No. 797918
File: 1620073283554.jpg (28.04 KB, 492x479, asukadisgust.jpg)
Had a really intense shroom trip last night where I faced some sexual trauma and was really made fully aware of how disconnected from my own sexuality I am & fundamentally broken I feel. Just sobbed and screamed for a while last night. Now I'm just feeling really numb and have no idea where to go from here, but at the same time I'm kind of glad I fully faced & was no longer in denial of it.
No. 797919
>>797907Even while knowing you're right it's hard to believe. Having grown up in an environment where beating a kid is without question seen as fucked up by (seemingly) everyone, bragging about it is unimaginable. I guess there's no way to know how common it really is, with so many cases going unnoticed. I'm just glad getting beaten as a deliberate punishment (as opposed to an angry loss of control thing) didn't even cross my mind as something that could happen as a kid.
>>797911Damn what the hell. I've been to lots of countries in Europe including Italy but I've never seen anything like that. Was that in a bigger city or a small town?
No. 797927
>>797907Or when they argue online justifying their decision to beat their kids.
>W-WELL I WAS WHUPPED AND I TURNT OUT FINE!!! No, no you didn't. You normalized the violence and trauma you experienced because it would rock your world to admit your parents were
abusive pukes.
I hate parents who seek to hurt and instil fear and distrust in their kids in general. Because they're too fucking dumb and juvenile themselves to know how to outsmart and teach a tiny human. My mom used to terrorize me with a leather belt-never beating me with it-but cracking it after me and pulling down my trousers to make cracking sounds over my bare ass to scare and humiliate me. Like what crime did I even commit to deserve such bullshit? Didn't put away all the toys in my playroom? Said I didn't want to eat more vegetables at dinner? What harm could someone small and sensitive have done to have warranted that unhinged fucking behavior? It angers me thinking about it, I can't picture myself doing that to my quiet, and usually behaved daughter just because she did something harmlessly naughty. What the fuck is wrong with these people???
No. 797938
>>797928Lmao, I almost fell for discord dating as well. That is, until the guy confessed to me that his family had said there must have been something wrong
with me for wanting to date him. Way to tell on yourself dude!
Scrotes on discord can't be trusted, 9 times outta 10 they've got something to hide.
No. 798027
>>798007Netherlands probably right? I have the same experience. And yeah, I don't get the petting either, I wouldn't even think of doing that with my shorter friends.
>>798017While a fair amount of my friends who did the petting are weebs, I had plenty of normie female classmates in high school who did the same thing. The (light hearted) teasing calling me tiny and stuff too (and while I was shorter than them I was never super petite or anything).
No. 798046
>>798024I get it, I really do. I had a similar experience with my first bf. But please know that any scrote who openly fetishizes a race like that is absolute trash, and not the norm. The majority of guys don't care about race in any significant way and just want a pretty girl.
Let me put it like this, someone who cares about only dating a specific race so much is always going to be a coomer that you don't want to associate with in the first place. Prioritizing what's basically a fetish over someones personality means they don't want (or are capable of) a serious relationship. So in a way the problem solves itself: someone like that can never be good relationship material, it's mutually exclusive. You're by definition never missing out on a good bf because someone leaving you over your race is incapable of being a good bf. It's a pleb filter.
Knowing that probably doesn't erase your feelings but this is also the sort of thing that will definitely pass as you gain more dating experience.
No. 798050
>>798034>>798038This is sad because you both didn't understand that I know i'm acting wrong towards other women and don't know how to be normal again ! you both totally missed the point of my post.
>>798046 Thank you very much ! I really appreciate it , I'm really working on myself to get rid of this feeling .
No. 798116
File: 1620083167651.jpeg (23.4 KB, 838x540, 3d0.jpeg)
I feel like an idiot because whenever I apply for retail or fast food I can't get the job, it is because I'm stupid? I try my best and I even have past experiences on my resume, and I'm over 18 with a car so wouldn't that help even more? I hope hot topic will like me enough and want me! I feel like I'm a good fit especially because they need new hires, and apparently knowing a lot about pop culture can help. Pls pray for me anons, I really need a job and it's very close by. I've cried too many tears over past rejections.
No. 798123
File: 1620083454141.png (716.79 KB, 519x541, 47382075039257423058.png)
>>798024I feel ya anon, emotional abuse does a number on you. Not to humblebrag but I'm attractive, everyone from friends to strangers complimented my looks growing up. Ironically that made me lose self esteem, as I felt I had to obsess over my physical appearance. That and being caring/warm, so Bob’s your uncle Fanny’s your aunt, I was molded into a codependent pickme. Perfect target for manipulative and
abusive scrotes. My ex would comment on other women's appearances, saying they looked hot or pretty, but would almost never give me any compliments no matter how much I dressed up. He would also make negative comments about my outfits if I wore anything even slightly revealing. He knew exactly what he was doing: By creating nonexistent competition between me and other women and making me feel I wasn't good enough, I became even more dependent on validation from him. In truth he always thought I was attractive and a great person - too great, in fact, for him, which is why he decided he needed to resort to underhanded tactics to keep me. It backfired of course, his loss.
It's good you had enough self worth to realize you weren't being treated well and got out. Your ex is an asshole. The right man might acknowledge other women's beauty but he'll do so in a respectful way and never psychologically pit you against them. You'll also always know you're #1 in his mind. As
>>798055 said, the issue is right now you still have these damaging scripts he's implanted running in your head. You need to psychologically detach from him and build up your self esteem so nothing anyone says, positive or negative, has much effect on you because you already know your worth. This requires tons of redirecting, noticing when you're obsessing over him and thinking of something healthier. You learn to observe emotions but realize they aren't always reflective of reality. And focus on building up your self image, maybe using something like CBT to identify your strengths. Once you have solid self perception and boundaries, relaxing and appreciating other women becomes possible again as well. Good luck.
No. 798139
>>798123I love you anon! You literally made me cry because you described what I feel in tge most clear way. Thank you! And thanks to every other anon who responded!
>My ex would comment on other women's appearances, saying they looked hot or pretty, but would almost never give me any compliments no matter how much I dressed up.This anon is what happened exactly! And I always wondered why? Now I totally understand. You have no idea how much your words helped. I always hesitated to post this here but now I'm glad I did. I will definitely start the healing journey.
Thanks again
No. 798146
File: 1620085164722.png (544.48 KB, 544x439, 9473928649328653475304.png)
>>798139Aw, I'm glad I could help a bit! Unfortunately that sort of manipulation isn't uncommon among low value scrotes. But if there's any positive to take away, at least you know how to recognize the behavior and can avoid more of it in the future. I'm proud of you for walking away from that moron and it's great you have the self awareness to realize you're dealing with intrusive thoughts but want to get better. You can and will, just be kind to yourself and don't rush it. I'm sure you're not only beautiful, but your attitude here also shows you have a good heart. Best wishes to you.
No. 798152
File: 1620085942796.gif (558.01 KB, 400x300, 1616531150468.gif)
>>798146Thank you for the kind words
nonny! You are great! I'm sure people in your life appreciate you because you're amazing.
I will forever remember your words and live by them.
No. 798181
File: 1620089454902.jpeg (996.63 KB, 1170x1699, D37EAFB4-076F-42A9-9E6A-D473D4…)
>this woman decided to start an Instagram to CELEBRATE women and their cats and break the stereotypes and blahbluhbuh
>it’s all attractive 27 year olds with bfs / husbands
Dumbass, nobody calls attractive women who happen to own pet cats a “cat lady”. My very sweet neighbor who was middle aged and already retired, living reclusively with 9 cats in one house? Try spinning that, dumbshit.
No. 798200
I'm so fucking annoyed and pissed off right now, I don't even know where to begin. this is gonna be a huge wall of text so I apologize.
but anyway I have been at my job since last summer. I'm a driver at a pizza place. there is this one manager, let's call her morgan (that's not her real name) who I have sort of become pseudo friends with. I like her as a person but she is really domineering at work and in all honestly probably has anger issues. I was about to post a rant about her a while back but I decided I was overreacting. but she did something today that sent me off the edge.
she has chewed me out in the past for really small things like sweeping wrong or folding aprons wrong. she said I was "killing her" because of how I was sweeping. sometimes she even "corrects" us to do things the "right" way when we're just not doing something exactly the way she would do it. so in other words, she likes to micromanage and is a control freak. then I found out one of the drivers drives without his fucking seatbelt which is 100% illegal here and she doesn't give a shit about it, yet I know if I did that she would never let me live to see the light of day. but I digress. then she'll ask for rides and stuff (she doesn't have a car) and other favors, I've even given her rides on my days off and even bought her stuff to leave at her door when she had covid. she acts super friendly to me outside of work but even after all this she still has no issue whatsoever bossing me around at work, borderline yelling at me sometimes, usually over petty insignificant things.
she has had a shitload of conflicts with other employees and even with another manager at one point (and honestly I kind of sided with the other manager but didn't dare tell anyone). she's aware of the fact that she's constantly having conflicts with people, but openly rejected any responsibility and claimed that because those other people eventually got fired or left and since she never got fired it was their fault not hers.
but today. oh dear lord. it was so fucking dead all day, we had barely any deliveries. it was me and one other driver and 2 managers (including morgan) then a 3rd driver came in at 3. I was scheduled to get off at 4. it got to be 3:45 and after over an hour of 0 deliveries a delivery popped up. I was the next in line to take this delivery, and some managers probably would have let me go and let the next driver take it, as there were 2 other drivers and another one who was going to clock in at 4. but she didn't say anything about letting me go, so I just took the delivery. I got back at like 4:20, and took my topper (the thing that has our logo and goes on top of my car) and my reciepts (we keep reciets from all the deliveries and turn them in at the end of our shift). well this was apparently a heinous crime, according to morgan.
she gave me a ton of shit for not asking if I could leave and just taking in my topper and said something like "next time, you HAVE to ask us if you can leave. you have to MAKE SURE it's okay you can leave. you MUST respect me, you MUST respect [goes on to list every single manager by name including our boss]".
Like, bitch. First of all
how the actual fuck is it disrespectful to anyone for expecting to get off my shift when I'm scheduled? my boss is the one who wrote* the fucking schedule?
*I've seen other drivers do this and they didn't get in trouble for it
*I'm 99.9999% sure none of the other managers, including my boss, woud give two shits at this, and even if they did they probably wouldn't be a fucking drama queen about it like you are
*this is a pizza place, not the fucking military, and it's already 20 minutes after I was supposed to leave
*sometimes they have us stay late if it's busy, but it was fucking dead at this time, and the managers are always talking about how they need to let drivers go as soon as they can so they don't overpay us
then she went to go rant to the other manager about me going I TOLD HER. SHE HAS TO ASK NEXT TIME. I'm just flabbergasted, I almost got snarky with her and said "how is expecting to get off when I'm scheduled get off disrespectful?" I decided not to though, because she probably would have yelled at me and got me written up or something, then ranted about me to our boss, who loves her for some reason.
there's more I could say about her but this post is already too long.
No. 798206
File: 1620092276041.png (600.32 KB, 2276x2109, 1613376571067.png)
I fucking HATE Omegaverse so damn much. why Why WHY did it become such a constant in fujo circles?
Everytime, EVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME it's the same. I read a great sounding setting of a story or rp, I can see there was a lot of thought put into it, I get excited- BUT OH NO. OH NO! WHAT IS THIS?? and HERE IT FUCKING COMES, HERE IT FREAKING GOES, once again, again and again, HERE IT IS: The section explaining the fucking retarded ass pregnancy bullshit. BRAVO, THANK YOU. JUST what the story needed you brilliant genius of homo interests. How could I forget the absolute ESSENCE of ANY good story, the absolute literary, narrative GIFT that is men being dogs. I am simply not worthy, not capable of following the complex symbolism that dog fucker pregnancies carry to your zombie survival story.
fucking dropped
No. 798242
File: 1620096525113.gif (429.93 KB, 220x220, My prrrrecious.gif)
>bf suddenly wants to take me to a romantic weekend destination
>requested my days off easily
>for some reason one of his supervisors at work was giving him serious shit about the days off
>wouldn't let him have them even though he requested them off before the cutoff
>bf starts to talk at work
>supervisor realizes he can get into serious corporate doo doo for being unfair
>supervisor renegs, apologizes, and gives him the days off
>bf venting to me about it tonight
>"Yeah, Will said he was happy for me and wouldn't want to ruin my engagement weeken–"
>so THAT'S what you're gonna do eh?
>"Oop"
Lmao, busted. I'm excited to be getting my ring.
No. 798265
>>798259Do you routinely bother your friends about mundane things your bf said late at night?
>>798261Talking about how expensive it was would be straight up boasting, considering I got a say in the diamond and design. I know you're being salty at me but I really hope you get someone willing to sacrifice a bit of their money and comfort to give you something special someday. It feels good and then you'd understand.
No. 798275
File: 1620098774848.jpg (914.71 KB, 3750x3750, 0e0.jpg)
The solidarity I have with the women on this site over issues related to misogyny sometimes melts under the sheer insanity I find in their beauty regimens and expectations of others. Skin-care this, pedicure that. Do you pluck your brows? Do you do it the specific way I'd do it? How often do you face mask? Have you had your weekly trip to the Lazarus pit? It's never enough. Remember to count your calories, exercise heavily three times a day, purchase endless creams and oils, meticulously craft your body into the ideal shape. Maybe I'll become fatter, grow out a unibrow, only wear whatever mismatched shit feels comfy, and smear my face with oil to get acne. The most well-liked I've been was when I threw all desire to be attractive and liked out of the window, it didn't matter how trashy I got, people wanted attention so long as I didn't care about what they thought of my looks. And yet I have to remind myself of that, every time I see another woman talk about how she thinks women who don't put forth the insane amount of effort she does to be a perfect youthful goddess. Yeah, my brows look stupid and I'm a bit chubby, and sometimes I have some light acne. But buying every "self-care" product and service won't keep me from aging, growing hair, or just having chemical imbalances sometimes, and it certainly won't make me happy. I'm so close to just being over it, being completely apathetic towards how other people percieve me. I haven't given a single shit about how men look at me in years. But, something about other women, even if I feel like they're probably deeply insecure and snippy, saying shit sends me into an emotional spiral. God damn it.
Is it the lesbianism? Maybe. I'm kind of a hot mess, ladies. Cursed hag femme.
No. 798283
>>798265nta but
>one day you'll be picked sis and you'll get to participate in the tradition made up by patriarchal capitalistsno thanks, it only feels good to you, because you spent your entire life internalizing propaganda
No. 798288
>>798275I also have a very simple virtually nonexistent beauty routine compared to a lot of anons, don't be worried. If you don't need a five to ten step ridiculously expensive and complex beauty regimen, then by all means, don't, it's your choice, you're probably not going to look any worse or better than a lot of women for doing it.
imo a lot of it is a scam pushed by the beauty industry, a chunk of your aging is up to genetics and habits but mostly genetics and no amount of product is going to change it. spending $100 on some "miracle" moisturizer is dumb as shit when you could spend $10 on a cheap drugstore one and the effect will be minimally different
No. 798291
>>798275Good for you. There's literally no reason at all to partake in all of those beauty regimens and skincare shit etc if you don't actually enjoy it. You should have a decent self image and not dislike how you look, but if you can attain that without any bullshitty beauty products and whatnot then more power to you.
It sucks that other women give you shit for it, but in the end they have nothing to do with you and you have nothing to do with them. If you need to change your habits to be appealing to them they probably wouldn't be great people anyway.
No. 798297
File: 1620100120168.jpg (12.77 KB, 247x369, 161526883738732454804832809642…)
i wish i could fix this
its gonna get buried and will not make one difference in my working like one bit but i am being let go for the summer for a few months until my job hires for the fall but i work sales. they pay me 8k a year. far less than a working wage and the excuse is because they cant ever be sure what a worker i am and that there is only so much in a budget.
2015-17 i took a business from 2.5k a sales from 2014-15 to 500k sales. i worked for a dumb card game shop selling magic and yugioh cards. i did that on my own, counted priced out sorted and labeled it all on my own. i would have to sort out by hand 500k cards twice a month, reprice everything 3 times a week, fill local, national, and international orders on my own. local everyday but international and national once a week but that was a 7k item hand count and anything that was not in stock by error or whatever i would have to pay for on my own.
when i started i literally just had a child. so by the middle and end of it i was working 16-20+ hours a day, i slept in the building i was away from my family for days. i had dumb fucking nerds hitting on me and having my bosses tell me to use my tits for sales, and i was pushed out when all of that finally became too much
all of that was off record so now i have these fucking people telling me i am an unknown factor. that im not dedicated. maybe there is some thing i can do legally to proove i did what i did so the rich weirdo with dead animals under his bed fucking hookers on my time can actually appreciate what i did to keep his tugboat afloat but all i want is burgerland to pay me at least a minimun living wage so i can do what i can to be slightly comfortable. somewhow im upset that 8k a year is acceptable
No. 798305
>>798300I don't have to believe you're not a samefag.
And having a scrote invest in the relationship by having an expensive commitment is literally the opposite of pickmeism.
>>798302You're embarrassing yourself and don't know what you're talking about.
No. 798312
File: 1620101405287.jpeg (55.86 KB, 750x1000, 3euysxf.jpeg)
i don't know if this is too NSFW to post but i don't really have anywhere else to rant, nonnies. my boyfriend warned me that he couldn't eat pussy without gagging and i didn't realize it was THAT bad until now. i always give him head and stuff blah blah blah and i asked for it back because i'm more comfortable with him now, of course. it takes time for me because i deal with really bad body dysmorphia and have had it almost my entire life so i struggle with people sexually, especially going down on me for the first couple of times. he told me it was really hard with his exes and it wasn't the "smell," or anything, but the texture. he tried and was good with using his lips but using his tongue made him gag. every time he did it he just gagged/coughed really heavily and he kept telling me that it wasn't me or anything to do with the taste, but i still was laying there ready to cry because i felt gross. i'm so sad, i love this man so much and he's one of the only men in my life that i genuinely enjoy but he can't… do that right now. he makes it up in other ways and he's really good with using his fingers but sometimes it makes me think about my exes and how i had some REALLY good head in my time. i feel like a bad person. i'm so awful at asking for oral especially because i'm used to my exes in my life just going for it themselves without question but i don't know how else to get rid of this barrier without.. i guess making him do it repeatedly? i just don't really understand because it's a clit? you're not choking on it? oral with men is so much worse
this sucks.
No. 798315
File: 1620101573553.png (650.49 KB, 684x504, radashell2.png)
No. 798324
>>798312That sucks. Normally I'm not one to defend scrotes when they refuse to give head but it sounds like maybe he does have a sensory issue preventing him from enjoying it? How is he with regular food, is he autistic about certain textures with that too?
You probably tried this already but in my experience once a man is really turned on he will go for that pussy shower or not and be too horny to care about taste or smell or texture. Especially if you make it very clear you're enjoying it he isn't gonna stop to evaluate mouthfeel like a fucking wine sommelier. If that doesn't make a difference to him though idk if he'll ever learn to enjoy it.
No. 798326
>>798305Google history of engagement rings and read up on the history of marriage. Look up divorce statistics, look up statistics like how women take nearly twice the financial hit men do when they do divorce.
You can like scrotes without shooting yourself in the foot so much
No. 798339
File: 1620105020709.png (40.39 KB, 449x512, high-five-teamwork-woman-icon.…)
>>798302>>798283>>798296the most based nonnalinas ily
>>798299there's more than one anon in here who can see through the patriarchy, silly goose
>>798305> having a scrote propose and pick you is literally the opposite of pickmeismyou're the one embarrassing yourself with your backwards logic. just give it up and go make out with your fiance. you have a 50/50 chance of ending up divorced someday so I sincerely hope you enjoy yourself while you still can.
No. 798353
>>798346idk but I saw anon venting about how her bf just told her about the surprise, and ruined it for her (even if its a happy thing)
Take a deep breath and let it go please
No. 798354
File: 1620105785014.png (19.29 KB, 662x297, see definition 2.PNG)
>>798346Nta but excitement can be a strong emotion. It doesn't necessarily have to be negative
No. 798356
File: 1620105927899.jpg (69.78 KB, 735x1040, a0520ef2a90a5292a3833ce6051f4a…)
>eats bread and cake on the weekend
>Bloated and in pain for two days and on going
Carbs and gluten, not even once for my shitty, broken body
No. 798363
File: 1620106662230.png (45.15 KB, 328x218, 4832094730275043257043.png)
Mostly I've been doing okay lately, definitely better than in the past as I'm a couple months out of an abusive relationship. But I keep looking back every now and then, and since the haze of gaslighting, stonewalling and love bombing has faded away, I'm recalling tons of stuff I put up with then suppressed. Like holy shit, his attitude was bad and the ways he treated me were absolutely horrendous. I worked so hard to go the extra mile for him and treated him like a king, and I got absolutely shit on in return. It makes me furious but mostly I just feel so, so embarassed. I can't believe I put up with those things. At some point I had standards, but I was won over by a month (barely even that!) of charm and sweet words before it all went to hell. Fuck I was really mentally fucked to have ever accepted that. I can't wait until it's been long enough that I can just forget most of these things ever happened. Ugh… it makes me want to shrivel up and disappear sometimes. I'm never going near scrotes again. I can't even trust myself anymore.
No. 798376
File: 1620109179133.jpg (29.02 KB, 481x524, Chj9xqfW0AASQ5m.jpg)
>trying to get more comfortable with my sexuality
>follow wlw nsfw sub
>most posts are from mtf
I followed it to look at tits and pussy, not ugly ass dicks. sigh
No. 798380
File: 1620109800207.jpeg (69.71 KB, 730x768, 49818688-8883-4EEF-9995-03E754…)
I can only coom thinking of my ex. He has taken my only pleasure from me, fuck that beta numale faggot.
No. 798422
File: 1620116920088.jpg (43.22 KB, 674x338, Jordan-Peterson-Room.jpg)
I haven't cleaned my apartment in 6 fucking months. I'm so ashamed of myself. Sometimes I'm scared something will happen to me or I'll die and people will find me in this mess and see how pathetic I was
No. 798428
>>798376>nsfw wlw leddit sub>expects it to be anything more than trannies I envy your naivety anon
>>798424He's giving it all away to charity iirc and his kids are pretty secured with positions in their foundation, they've received the best private schools money can buy and at least the eldest daughter goes to Stanford. He's also bought them expensive property so they will be living cozy reptilian lives even without the full inheritance.
No. 798438
File: 1620119611767.jpeg (79.84 KB, 750x725, FBB0134D-DB67-4D8A-842D-64C2D5…)
I’m so sick of being so stifled and sheltered. I want to see the world, I want to meet interesting people, I want to get hurt, I want to learn. Why was I born into this gay woman hating culture, I’m treated like a perma infant.
No. 798442
>>798438Muslim or Hindu?
>>798422I keep my room tidy but I haven't dusted since I moved in 2 years ago.
No. 798464
File: 1620123623467.png (56.06 KB, 598x408, Screenshot_2021-05-04 Megan K …)
>>798453He was always a sociopath and she was always in it for the money and status.
Fact that he had the gal to ask, and the fact that she agreed speaks volumes about the both of them.
These elites are always fucked up humans, lizard people indeed.
No. 798485
File: 1620125814631.png (70.65 KB, 500x300, damn-bitch-you-live-like-this-…)
I'm picrel. Idk how to stop being a messy bitch. I hate myself and am ashamed. I try to keep it clean but after deep cleaning my apartment two days max and I'm back at my old dirty glory. I have a full room just with clothes all over the floor and every where. Im telling myself I'll do it tomorrow but of course I don't. I just want to throw away 90 percent of my belongings because idc for most of it. Fuck it I do it now
No. 798495
File: 1620127136120.jpg (36.72 KB, 485x373, 663c01e9dc4e211b5379cc9e66b134…)
My life is just a constant cycle of:
> feeling ok with being a lesbian
> feeling ashamed of being lesbian
> deciding I should transition because I am womaning incorrectly by being butch and then I can be a Totally Hetero Normal Guy
> realising that's fucking retarded and feel intense shame for both being gnc and lesbian
> rinse, repeat
No. 798499
>>798488Thank you for the advice. I always try to do it but fail after a day. Im going to set a notification and hope that will make a difference.
>>798490I read kondos book some time ago and you and I will make her proud soon. Actually went through throwing away a lot already and found some cool things I didn't know existed. Now back to the work
No. 798508
File: 1620130055575.jpeg (71.46 KB, 749x741, 021F3BE2-3B81-471B-84C0-F6AF6B…)
seriously scared that I’m probably not real like wtf am I then
No. 798514
File: 1620130793734.jpg (47 KB, 833x768, 14762751.jpg)
>>798513i love you too anon, we're gonna make it.
No. 798521
>>798351Bit of a false dichotomy there, there are other options besides buying Star Wars toys for a scrote and legally binding yourself to a scrote in exchange for a ring. Don't be ridiculous, you know there are other options.
Also, it's a bit NLOG to assume that you'll be the one woman who knows better than all other divorced women who ended up financially worse than the man after divorce.
Do whatever you want, but don't kid yourself.
No. 798535
>>798312Not your fault when he doesn't like pussy and is closet gay.
If he doesn't eat your pussy, he isn't a real men.
No. 798541
File: 1620133719176.jpg (77.24 KB, 525x792, 34509837_1543365012453446_7973…)
>>797724I live in the shithole South and I pretty much dress like picrel. Everyone's super Christian and obsessed with traditional values. I avoid wearing feminine things/wearing makeup/performative femininity so people like to say sexist and homophobic things to me.
No. 798545
>>798541Ok I need to know cause I never interacted with one of you before.
Why? I don't get it? Why do you dress like a complete retard? Like, why?
I don't mean any disrespect. I am just completely baffled.
No. 798550
>>798541you look cool as hell
>>798546>Nta but maybe we stereotypical feminine women are the ones dressing like retardsthis
No. 798561
File: 1620135052241.jpg (29.05 KB, 236x656, 2803f9e7f2eb88d5be9296ab267e41…)
>>798545I just know you wear shit like pic attached
No. 798563
>>798549Your ex-husband is a piece of shit, tell him that from me,
nonny.
Stay strong.
No. 798575
File: 1620135728754.jpeg (138.31 KB, 981x662, 1620050748300.jpeg)
When I was 11, I knew I was a manhating lesbian. But my abused and conditioned mom always told me "not all men". And told me to give them a chance.
Well, I did. Once. But today I gladly say, I am a 25 year old manhating bisexual. Yes all men. All of them. They're all the same no matter the flavor or character they play. I even bowed to myself not to have male friends ever again, not any that could get too close to me anyways. So I happily say to myself:
Welcome back.
No. 798576
>>798541sPeCiAl SnOwFlAke WoW
>>798546picrel is also wearing make-up and eyeliner and I doubt wearing all black leather in the south is comfortable.
Really hate "not like other girls" bitches and your desperate need to feel special. Being "not like others" is cope for not having a personality and being unlikable, so you dress like a clown and say "people don't like me cause I'm different" when in fact people don't like you cause you're obnoxious.
(infighting) No. 798578
>>798547That's fucking awful but how does that relate to anyone else's experience with marriage? Your relationship was fucked up from the beginning. Obviously marriage just made it worse since you were chained to an
abusive scrote who mooched off you and beat you for his satisfaction. It doesn't make sense that people pick the worst people to spend their lives with and try to use it as a "gotcha" that marriage in general is awful.
No. 798586
>>798578I never married him anon, we were highschool sweethearts and got together when I was 15 and he was 18. He use to come to my highschool and visit me at lunch and no one thought it was weird lol. I wanted to move out of my ma's ASAP so I got a job and found an apartment and he had a job at my dad's company at that time. He ended up quitting but my dad took a likening to him. He wanted to be an artist and my dad commissioned a few things from him and helped him make a website to sell from and tried to help him start a business. When my dad saw that our relationships was physically
abusive he got me therapy and it took a few months but I finally ended it. It just made me remember cause I remember my ex getting excited about our time off together cause he was planning on becoming my ball and chain lol
No. 798587
>>798576>Really hate "not like other girls" bitches and your desperate need to feel special. Being "not like others" is cope for not having a personality and being unlikable, so you dress like a clown and say "people don't like me cause I'm different" when in fact people don't like you cause you're obnoxious.Sounds like you have a problem while OP is just enjoying her life and the clothes that appeal to her. The whole
>you have no actual personality!!! opposed to me, who wears socially acceptable clothes!!!is such a cope
No. 798591
File: 1620137006474.gif (1001.6 KB, 350x250, war.gif)
oh my god I don't care that the fortnite devs didn't put the old star wars skins in the store for may 4th. how are you and so many other people so upset about this holy crap please get over yourself. I hate to be a bitch but I want to just pull a picrel on your ass instead of pretending to give a shit and act like this is a normal thing to get upset over
No. 798605
File: 1620137898718.jpeg (31.54 KB, 600x655, Ed3WVEEVoAA83CA.jpeg)
>>798541Based anon
>>798545>>798576>Lolcow user condescending to others over fashionYou're the female version of this, lmao. Imagine having to LARP that you fit in (and getting mad that others don't do the same), and even forcing yourself to continue the sad failed normal person roleplay on an an anonymous imageboard instead of just doing your own thing. Your insecurity is on full blast.
No. 798652
>>798576so this is ban-worthy for infighting but
>>798605 isn't even tho it is pretty much exactly the same post?
Mods are really clowns and apparently dress to fit the job.
(they were banned, retard) No. 798677
>>798672Spoilers for Old Boy
It ended up being justified, but boy did I roll my eyes in the first part of the movie. I only ever tolerate this trope if the man is rich and the woman a gold digger. What young woman could want those balding old fucks for anything other than their money?
No. 798680
>>798643Congrats on the good stuff and I'm sorry about your car. Hopefully it was a little ironic joke, like it won't get worse than that. Your life's on the up now
nonny!
No. 798702
>>798699I think a lot of us are. Maybe we don't know that yet, but I think that desire is buried deep within us all, surely?
Idk man maybe I just want a MILF gf and it's not that deep.
No. 798704
>>798478Thank you anon
I know its a bad idea to befriend managers ay work, but im terrible at setting boundaries and its mostly been her behind our 'friendship' if it can even be called that. She never really calls me if she doesnt have a favor she needs. She also is always complaining about how people think shes their friend, even though she's the one who is overly friendly with them in the first place.
No. 798735
File: 1620148241907.jpg (108.77 KB, 429x640, 0c3e87d7127bdbae4a8dcfac73bb6a…)
I need to be in nature. I love the city but even just looking at pictures of forests and mountains and lakes makes my heart hurt. I think about how 98% of my life has been spent in manmade structures, walking on concrete, in air-conditioning and yet all of my favorite memories in life are going camping, going on a hike, or just sitting in nature. I look out my window and there isn't a single tree. It's brick, concrete, stone, wires. No one finds it odd? We are undeniably connected to earth and yet how do we interact with it on a day to day basis? By eating meat? I'm not trying to sound like a woo woo hippie ecofeminist but I feel like I am missing something important every single day I live in the city. I went to my friends house the other day where she has a tiny paved backyard. I asked if she wanted to sit out there for a bit since it's finally warm and she was so hesitant "because there are flies." When we sat out there she flinched every time a bug flew by and was almost in a fetal position after 5 minutes. No one is scared of average little bugs in a normal environment. It felt depressing. I try to talk about this longing for nature with people around me but I have no one in my life that agrees. Everyone says they couldn't live outside of a big city. No one is excited when they think about going hiking or camping or moving to the countryside. Everyone gets worried about bugs, ticks, heat, cold, inconvenience, no bathrooms, bad wifi. I don't blame them or think they're bad people for not wanting it but it makes me scared. Preserving nature seems to be low on mankind's to-do list, everything that is built to convenience us as humans pulls us further from the landscape, 'outdoorsy' people are just a minority of people while 'outdoors' is most of the planet. I'm repeating myself but yeah. Long story short because of my partner's work I cannot live where I want to and I'm stuck in the concrete jungle for now, but maybe something will change someday.
No. 798737
File: 1620148292001.jpg (90.39 KB, 719x510, 1619933601947.jpg)
i miss my abusive ex. no reason. i feel like i cried every other day because of him. but i guess i liked how he had full control of my life vs now that i have to handle things myself.
i know him and he must be seeing someone else cause he needs to have that control over someone always. and even if he was single i couldnt date him cause all my friends and family wanted him out of my life and bringing him back would be a disaster. plus, he would never contact me after that messy fucking breakup and if i contacted him he would proably tell me to fuck off. i miss him though. i shouldnt. i miss him though.
No. 798826
File: 1620153844208.jpg (33.11 KB, 462x235, forest_terfs.jpg)
>>798735Look into (green) anarchism. There are a lot of people out there who just want to live in nature, away from the capitalist ratrace and concrete jungles. Yeah, many people just don't get it, or only want to get away temporarily, so they don't really get it, but more and more people are starting to feel the way you do. Thanks to late stage capitalism, the lockdowns, climate stress, etc. There's nothing wrong with sounding like a woo woo hippie ecofeminist. They're based and right with regards to a lot of things. I've found sane non woo woo women in those circles. We've formed a hiking group and hopefully we can move to the countryside soon.
Pic vaguely related
primitivism is a bit of a meme, it's not the standard green anarchism, but bc it's a meme, there are more memes of it No. 798851
File: 1620156090028.jpeg (190.5 KB, 1256x1000, 62FF8A34-98D5-41CF-9A58-3250F8…)
Anon made me really want to vent about genshin impact
Why do they ship characters who probably aren’t even canonically gay (zonghli, ningguang, jean, lisa, childe, diluc, kaeya, albedo (like what the fuck? kek) which is already stupid and pointless. A lot of the fanbase and players are half surprisingly theybies/stan yas-bitches and half unsurprisingly twitch scrotes who have massive whale accounts. It’s so god awful, it’s like if you want to enjoy talking about the game and characters you have to decide to interact with rabid horny zoomers getting too invested and angry about fictional characters or technicalfags who take the game way too damn seriously and shit on those want the game to be slightly easier.
No. 798855
File: 1620156520260.jpg (718.23 KB, 1920x1278, Clent Hills campiste page 1.jp…)
>>798846It's not rude. I have a fucked up knee. The TL;DR is that I have to use a walking stick as one of my knee caps keeps rubbing up against the runners it's on (I cannot for the life of me remember the medical names for the parts) and coming out of place, which can range from mild pain from it poking out ever so slightly to full on dislocation. I've been doing exercises to strengthen the muscles there and having steroid injections which help, but it still makes hiking very hard. I'm also on a shit ton of painkillers and also have seizures occasionally so I would need someone to come with me for my safety really.
On a lighter note I have been considering going to a campsite like picrel. It's not
really what I consider "proper" camping given the close proximity to other people and not being fully out in nature, but the accessibility is a huge plus and being closer to people works out good for me in case I have a seizure or something.
Sorry for the big paragraph,
nonny.
No. 798882
>>798866terrible way to ship, it’s either implied canon or just fanfiction porn
>>798875they will never be together anon, just stop lmfao
No. 798918
File: 1620159271826.jpg (243.77 KB, 500x375, tres.jpg)
>tfw looking at pictures of when i peaked in 2016 mid 2019.
i was an adult so at least i didnt peak in high school but fuck it hurts. i need to get my shit together but i just im so weak now and im terrible at everything. i compare myself with back then and get really sad and discouraged and feel like shit
No. 798923
>>798918I know it's easier said than done but you gotta stop with the comparisons. I bet you're not even as bad as you think, our brains are just really fucking shitty sometimes. Just focus on what you want in life and pursue it. But take your time and don't put so much pressure on yourself. Stay strong,
nonny. ♥
No. 798945
this video
https://youtu.be/FBejrkdv6v4 triggers me so much
(embed) No. 798960
>>798945Funny I just had a post about Kasparov on my dash. He lost to a woman and also cheated during a match against her
www.homo-sex-shoe-whale.tumblr.com/post/650036391878754304
No. 799034
File: 1620164350344.jpg (151.61 KB, 1080x1080, w6r1tucg18761.jpg)
>>798939She's an asshole. Hang in there nona, don't let her ruin your day, she has obviously some issues.
No. 799056
>>799034Thanks anon. I'm such an asskisser lmao.
>oh that's fine that's absolutely fair! >I hope you enjoy the rest of your day! I don't give her the satisfaction to know that she peeves me, I just seethe in private.
No. 799082
>>799073Have you tried lying?
I have to deal with the same kind of nonsense except it's my mum who is the religious nutjob.
With regards to kids I say "I have not met the right one yet" and then she goes on a rant about how I'm too picky and don't know what I am doing and taking too long and I say I am doing my thing. But I think it gives her solace believing that I am trying.
With regards to Jesus I started saying "I worship him my own way", which also seems to shut her up.
No. 799202
Going back to work since the furlough started soon, not really looking forward to it. One of my main annoyances is my coworkers - besides me, it’s basically older women. I’m kind of socially awkward, but I can talk and make conversation with them pretty well, even though it’s an effort. I feel like they all dislike me though, it’s not like they ever say anything, but there’s always a kind of disinterest whenever I talk. They often talk right through me or interrupt me a lot. Not to mention, they have extremely different morals/opinions than I do, which makes me not want to go into conversation with them more, but you have to be civil since you’re coworkers in a shitty service job.
Then in comes boys to work around my age, one of which is even more socially awkward and shy than me - and man, do all my older coworkers LOVE them. They swoon to them, constantly giving them the time of day, making sure they’re included, asking all sorts of questions and constantly praising them.
It’s just fucking annoying that I had to put so much effort into even keeping conversations with these women, whereas a boy can just walk in and be given so much support and attention. It makes me not even want to try anymore !
No. 799275
>>799202This has been my experience in plenty of jobs too. I don't care if women coworkers are generally bitchy to everyone, but damn do they kiss male ass so fucking much. I swear if I had a set of balls my job would be so much easier too on the basis that mediocre men with their mediocre work are that much more praised. Women are criticized and put down so much more.
I don't really have advice for it, just wanted to let you know it definitely isn't one of those 'just you' situations.
No. 799283
>>799279>i'm not worried about him cheating on me with her because she's very unnatractiveLOL. Famous words, anon. Famous words.
Your situation is beyond strange even if you want to give your scrote the benefit of the doubt and convince yourself that your friend is just super socially unaware.
Sorry but you really should have told him this was uncomfortable for you and told her she was being inappropriate.
No. 799286
>>799202Older women are ruthless. I don’t mean to derail and take away from your venting (honestly yes I do lol) but I’ve been reading up on stuff that explains your exact situation, and lots of the info I came across is always talking about how the perception of women in career and industry fields are skewed because we expect women to be extremely socialized: charitable, forgiving, nice, a doormat. I’m just so sick and tired of the stupid rebuttal from other fellow feminists that “women are allowed to be rude and mean too!! girlboss!” but the main reason why men are just so awful is because they lack conscientiousness, awareness, appreciation, compassion for the entire world. Our focus as women shouldn’t be to equalize the field by adopting the status quo’s behavior towards people and the world by being nasty and mean and demonizing what men see as soft which is literal empathy and pacifism. There’s a room for these women to be upfront, spunky, audacious without tearing other women down in an already shitty economic situation. It always boggles my mind why they can’t ever put their
toxic energy to the scrotes they have to asskiss. Is that too much to ask?
No. 799298
>>799293I'm not really sure if you should be associating a comment he made about an actress to his ex.
If he has a 'type' he could just find the look in general to be attractive without thinking about your ex in particular.
Sometimes I crush on male actors with long hair. Current bf has short hair. It doesn't mean I want my ex with long hair back, not in the least.
No. 799302
File: 1620189437552.jpg (32.18 KB, 500x500, Bob.jpg)
Aside from my bf, I feel so disliked by my friends, family, and coworkers all of the sudden.
I'd fix it if I knew what I did to deserve it. I'd cry about it if I knew being sad would change it. I'd call it out if I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that my perception was real and not just sensitivity and paranoia.
Instead I'm stuck in a melancholy that I can't name, and feel exhausted thinking about because it doesn't seem like there's anything I can do about it. I wish someone from any of those groups could just say an encouraging word, in lieu of the standard criticism or condescending remark.
No. 799315
File: 1620190464102.jpeg (23.62 KB, 400x400, 157B93F5-33DC-4A8D-8449-A351BA…)
How can it all go to shit so quickly… I might've had the worst day of my life today (so far)
No. 799317
File: 1620190677307.jpeg (1.08 MB, 2000x1500, 35713.jpeg)
>>799158>throwing away your only open sandbox avatarNta but you've made me see the light, anon. This is a wholesome outlook on life.
No. 799336
>>799302Holy shit I could've written this. Hugs for you,
nonny. Just letting you know you're no the only woman going through this.
No. 799366
>>799315Hang in there
nonnie. Rest a bit, have a good snack, watch a nice video or movie and treat yourself after such a difficult day. You can push through.
No. 799424
File: 1620204393718.jpg (35.5 KB, 1024x644, 4hz3ur.jpg)
>>799350I'm going through the exact same thing and gaming is all that's keeping me from topping myself lately. I'm cycling through all my games desperately trying to squeeze a single hit of dopamine out them.
No. 799433
>>799430Yeah there's really no coming back from that. I have to ask though, did you ever suspect her? Or does she act completely the opposite? A lot of "trad" women have got exposed for sleeping around, drinking, drugs, etc. A lot of them really do seem to have a double life.
Good luck with it,
nonny.
No. 799482
File: 1620213669738.jpg (56.95 KB, 460x440, b512rmbsh1211.jpg)
>someone buy item with shipping price listed
>send invoice, go out for the day
>receive message "is there a cheaper shipping option?"
>receive comment on other listing "I've pmd you"
>receive another message "can you meet up with my friend in your country?"
>in the span of 6 hours
>send new invoice with untracked shipping
>"sorry, wrong address on paypal, can you send it here instead"
>refund money, send new invoice
make it stop please
No. 799499
>>799486Breast cancer is very survivable these days.
You just stay along her side, but don't worry too much. It will very likely be fine.
No. 799579
>>799510she nuked her twitter now but here are a couple tweets i had saved word for word
>overheard my husband last night call me a supremecist nazi barbie to his buddies
>i like to think i could grow my hair out like i did when i was young, but i also aspire to be a feminine yet slightly intimidating nazi mom with shoulder length hair
>if anyone calls you a nazi, simply ask them what makes you one. the answers will make you laugh!also her bio said “white wife, white life”
the main source of irony being that her boyfriend hasn’t proposed to her because he’s jobless and can’t afford a ring. like the whole charade is bizarre on multiple levels.
we confronted her with it and she nuked though, not surprising.
No. 799588
>>799112i def am at a stage in life where im learning to be more confrontational and less of a doormat which i am every second of the day.
but when i yelled at this person it was bc of many reasons, the main one being her trying to kill my roommate. she replied, ver batim: "that was one time!"
No. 799673
>>799590Larger clit (but mine was small to begin with so now it's just bigger but still normal, nothing massive) and hair growing on places where it didn't previously like on my stomach, but now after my hormones have been in a normal level for more than a year it's a lot thinner.
I also had some sort of pube stache growing for some more months after I stopped T, but these too got very thin and they're barely noticeable but I still shave it sometimes just in case
I may be "lucky" because before T I already had very little body hair, I think someone with different genetics could have grown a beard in that time and that would have to be removed with laser shaving, also more leg and arm hair.
No. 799700
>>799696that's not fucked up of you at all. they make you wait all day. if you make plans, go do them without them. when they get confused, tell them they were late and you and whoever didn't want to wait up.
or address them personally, saying it makes you feel disrespected. if they change, good. if they don't, let's not waste our time on them
No. 799706
>>799539I took T for about 9 months. My clit and voice are the only long term changes left behind all these years later. I like both changes though. The voice feels more fitting to me. I could've done without all the social embarrassment of changing back and forth and looking like a tard at that time but overall it worked out ok. If I hadn't tried it I don't know how else I would've shaken off the desire to explore that tbh. I feel like I had to live and learn.
But then I often see detrans women who had doubts only 6 months in too and just kept taking it for 3 years anyway.. I don't know how they power through doubts like that but at the end of it I feel for them.
No. 799730
File: 1620240329780.png (113.25 KB, 1024x1024, B916EECD-FC06-4EED-B81A-0AD306…)
sent the i miss you text, getting ready for a heartcrushing reply (or lack thereof)
No. 799760
>>799729General discomfort with walking infront of others in essentially what's my underwear, being grossed out of swimming in a soup of peoples sweat, spit and sometimes pee, and several experiences with "Ohhh, just trust me, if anything happens I will save you!!
:))" with my teachers who then left me for myself when something
did happen, with an exceptional case of my teacher pushing my head under water as a last resort to show me that it really isn't that bad to be completely submerged (something we've been fighting about from the very beginning). I've resigned myself to seeing water as something you appreciate best by admiring it from afar, especially since being quasi-naked and the body fluid hotpot is something that bothered me even before I've got the trauma of my last teacher instilled in me lmfao.
No. 799785
>>799633Same. I never understood that seasonal depression stuff in the winter months like the short days are great when you do fuck all lmao.
Summer kinda makes me wanna end it. Especially when I look back on the fun, busy summers I had when I was young.
No. 799788
>>799730Any reply?
I get these feelings all the time but then I have too much pride to ever actually send the message. My exes have no idea how much I think about them still..
No. 799791
File: 1620244801100.jpg (27.65 KB, 540x400, original (1).jpg)
im going to take myself out of the dating game for good. im seriously over it. i'm literally a catch & i dont care what anyone says. Sure i have flaws but who tf doesnt and flaws never stopped everyone else from being in a committed relationship at least once in their lives. I hate that i was meme'd into wanting a romantic partner since birth. It's probably top 10 worst things humans do to women. Why couldn't they let me know as a kid that yeah true love exists but not for everyone as a matter of fact it probably doesnt exist for most people including you so start honing a skill because you are going to be lonely forever unless you decide to settle lol. I just feel so stupid.
Im trying to do the thing everyone says about dating around but most men have nothing interesting to talk about so i cant make it past the texting phase anymore. Im always the one who ends up leading the conversations. I deadass end up becoming the "man" in every situationship ive ever had the misfortune of being in.
Most men have no social skills, no dating skills, no basic skills, etc. How tf am i supposed to talk to one man let alone multiple without losing my mind!? They are so fucking boring to talk to it's literally like pulling teeth. I've had more interesting conversations on this site than with any man ever. I get so bored of "how was work,what did you eat today, just got back from the gym etc" that i start inevitably talking about sex because thats literally the only time dudes can suddenly hold a fucking interesting conversation. How embarrassing is that? And then i end up regretting it because afterwards that's ALL they want to talk about and then its my fault for bringing it up in the first place i guess. And then when you finally have sex its literally the blandest thing ever and you got off more from sexting. If this is what i have to deal with until "the one" shows up y'all can keep it. I just want to take my libido out of my body because its the only reason why i keep coming back for more torture.
im jealous of literally everyone who is asexual. I hate that i have such a high sex drive i seriously blame the men in my life that molested me as a kid. I hate them all.
No. 799808
>>799706Tbh I don't blame you for continuing to take T. The advice in trans communities about any kind of doubt is just take you have to deal with your "internalized transphobia" and go on. Specially because more time on T gives you more masculinization and you can rationalize that you'll feel better if you continue taking it.
I see a lot of young trans people in detrans places asking if they should detrans and it's sad specially when they're underage, there's just so much doubt and they won't hear anything good from TRAs
No. 799812
File: 1620246474160.jpg (115.72 KB, 750x745, IMG_20200212_135633.jpg)
i was kinda into the gendercrit thread, but really only for the delusional hons not so much the policital shit. when the thread got nuked (rip) i was one of the ones to aske in meta for a fakeboi-style thread for hons. mfw the "mtf cows" thread is nothing but political sperging. mfw anons get redtexted for posting a hon's selfies
No. 799828
File: 1620247967701.jpg (38.44 KB, 800x510, senior-woman-holding-knee-pain…)
Vent time because i'm feeling so down about it today. I used to be moderately fit, going to a gym 2-3 times a week and training horseriding weekly until I had an accident that left me bedbound for months in 2019. After I could finally get up my body was too weak to even sit for longer than few minutes but at the end of the year I've finally started training with a physiotherapist which was soon stopped with COVID and lockdown of physiotherapy centers and gyms. I've tried exercising at home but I've struggled to adjust to homeoffice work and fell back into depression again, struggling to meet deadlines while sitting in front of the computer for entire days and I've stopped doing anything with my body altogether. It's been over a year now, I'm in some kind of pain almost daily, feeling too fragile and afraid to go back to horseriding, gyms are not accessible, I'm still stuck at home office and it all really sucks. Knee pain got to the level of me becoming really worried and I've tried doing some basic exercises I found on youtube, in the past it would be nothing but today I've struggled so much to finish them it made me cry out of frustration. I feel like that accident and later covid lockdowns ruined all my adult life efforts of keeping my body on the same healthy level and I'll never be able to get back to it again. Sucks to be human.
No. 799833
File: 1620248284226.png (359.94 KB, 358x377, 7574039850943895439.png)
>>799791We are one and the same anon. Your comments remind me of a lot of women I've seen in FDS saying they'd love to have multiple interesting men on hand wining and dining them and selecting which one meets the most of her criteria yet it's near impossible to find even one that can string a basic sentence together. I know I should be happy that I no longer see dating and finding a partner as worthwhile pursuits, but I really wish I hadn't wasted literal decades of my young life catering to ungrateful, unimaginative, unattractive scrotes in the hopes they'd treat me like a queen rather than feeling entitled to the immense amount of time, attention and energy I gave them. "You live and you learn!" people love to parrot, yeah but where was all the advice of my elders warning me away from these low effort fucktards? Instead I had grown ass women including my mother acting as pickmes, heroizing cheating scumbags and "not all men"ing me when I even slightly questioned the script. As a kid I wanted nothing to do with boys because I could clearly see how pathetic they were, but society managed to trick me into giving them a chance. No exaggeration, biggest mistake of my life.
No. 799834
>>799828i feel you on all of this. my body feels like shit all the time and i keep blowing deadlines, no motivation, total anhedonia many days. i might just finally try antidepressants or something.
my encouragement for you would be to try and remember how adaptable our bodies are, remember you are capable of incremental changes. remember the feeling of being bad at something, then doing it more and more and slowly getting better and stronger. even if this process doesn't start again for you tomorrow, or even this year, it will be possible whenever you're ready. and even if your knee pain permanently limits what you can do, the rest of your body can still get stronger and healthier. if you're a horse girl i believe in you!
No. 799837
File: 1620248870433.jpg (48.67 KB, 540x405, 1581425340399.jpg)
My batshit neighbor has bedbugs. They claims it's not them and it can't be their fault. Thankfully they're a few doors down and not right next to me. I'm really worried for my pet and I'm already obsessively cleaning even though I'm a neat freak already. This neighbor is always manic and saying things that don't make sense/act like a drug user. They probably brought in some furniture from outside without checking it. I'm so disgusted.
No. 799842
>>799834Thank you anon, I feel weirdly lonely in all this so seeing your thoughtful response means a lot, we're together in this. Still shitty but there's always comfort in being understood. This whole covid lockdown situation is far harder to deal with emotionally than I've ever expected it to be, I don't get all of these people asking for home office to be a default option from now on. I was actually thinking of antidepressants too, for now just went back into therapy but it's only recent; hope you find a good way of getting through this.
I guess it's hard to believe in any chances of success now because my body never felt this bad before but you're right, it's hard today and probably in few weeks will be just a tiny bit better but maybe in a year I'll be able to thank myself for trying. I want to go back to horse riding but being so weak I'd be just putting myself up for another accident most likely and idk if I'd be able to pick myself up again after that.
No. 799856
File: 1620251103365.jpg (55.39 KB, 500x772, 545.jpg)
I feel like I've finally woken up and stopped sleeping through my life and idk how to handle it. It really makes me sad to think of how I've quite literally spent the last decade, if not more, of my life so passively. I was like the undead, walking through life in a half-life state, a ghost. I feel like I've been in a coma and only now awakened. and It's my 10 year anniversary graduating from highschool this summer and I'm thinking how much further ahead I could have been in life, had I been actually existing in all this time that has passed by. I feel I'm actively mourning for that lost time, that lost potential, that wasted youth. I know the only thing I can really do now is move on and enjoy the future to the fullest, but it still pains me an inordinate amount to think of all that wasted time.
No. 799864
File: 1620251338469.jpeg (131.22 KB, 1000x1000, 07ADB632-A887-48F3-BB17-BBB8EC…)
I’m just up in my feelings right now
I keep getting calls from my internet provider saying I’m past due on bills, but when I check the app it says nothing is due, but it also hasn’t shown a record for payment for the past 2 months. So I used my credit card to pay the monthly fee. A bill collector called me, and when I told her that, she hung up, so now I don’t know if I almost accidentally got scammed or not.
The curry I made tasted too vinegary, but I’m begrudgingly eating it.
The Lil’ Tay drama is making me really sad for her. The entire family is treating her like shit - that’s clear.
I started volunteer writing for a political editorial and I’m getting paranoid about being seen as an enemy and what could happen to me if I keep going.
I also finished reading the book about emotionally immature parents and instead of feeling whole, I feel really hollow and sad. I don’t think my parents will ever have the tools to be the parents I wished they were all along and I feel very alone.
I also am sick of Covid related isolation and find myself feeling very lonely and worried that my friends think I’m annoying, and because of that book I read, I wonder how often I’ve been a shitty neglectful friend to them and how I dug my own grave, or have I been attracting emotionally deficient relationships all along?
I feel like I’m bracing for something.
Finally, I desperately want someone in my life that clicks with me and loves me romantically and I can tell them all this instead of lolcow. I wish I had a shoulder I could lean on or an arm wrapped around me and I’ve been holding off on being a horny bitch this whole time because I know I’ll just wind up sleeping with some guy that I can’t relate to and doesn’t understand or care about me.
I’m fucking depressed I guess. It does feel good to get this off my chest. Maybe after my nasty vinegar curry I’ll get a treat at the store and get back to work on that paper and do some craft stuff.
I hate complaining long form like this because I know people in this thread have it much worse. I know I’ll get through it. This is just painful for now.
No. 799895
File: 1620253940832.jpg (148.34 KB, 523x4409, 1548365027129.jpg)
>>799870That's very true, anon. I'm sad it felt like it took so long to truly 'wake up' but I'm still grateful that it happened.
No. 799901
File: 1620254474675.png (380.75 KB, 762x678, seeds.png)
>>799864> I don't think my parents will ever have the tools to be the parents I wished they were all along and I feel very alonethis really resonates with me. I got into an argument with my parents three weeks ago and I reached out to my mom to try to talk about things and she never responded. mothers' day is coming up and I'm agonizing about whether I should even get her the flowers that she asked for. it especially sucks that they're freezing me out because I live by myself and I'm only allowed to meet with one other household because of the pandemic. they know how isolated I've been, and they know how rough this past year has been for me and how many sacrifices I've had to make, but they don't even care enough to answer me.
> worried that my friends think I'm annoyingsame. so often when I reach out, they don't respond the same day. I know they're busy, and one's a nurse so she must be overwhelmed right now by the state of the ICUs, but I can't help but feel like nobody cares about me. even my own supervisor hasn't responded to my email from Monday.
> I hate complaining long form like this because I know people in this thread have it much worsethat's what this thread is for. it's not a competition to see who is suffering more. it doesn't make logical sense to feel like you shouldn't complain just because someone out there has it worse than you. by that logic, you should never be happy because there's always someone out there who has more than you. I see you, little acorn. you might feel buried right now but one day you'll be a mighty oak.
No. 799922
File: 1620256772835.jpeg (46.46 KB, 480x640, 125134569_10215351374012147_60…)
still bitter after all these years of my ex cheating on me with a cokehead alcoholic and how he destroyed me to the point of hospitalization, and that straight up bitch for laughing at me for being upset when i found out she was the one he cheated with. why do they get to thrive (she got married and has a good popular business with her husband, ex is ending up in newspapers for his philanthropy and accomplishments) meanwhile anything that reminds me of them burns me to the core and I have to carry those scars for the rest of my life? what fucking god decided this was the life that i deserved? big mad bad people don't get what they truly deserve and nice people suffer for what feels like forever. therapy helped me tremendously but some days an event will happen and the flames of anger come back in full force. I guess I should be happy that triggers no longer send me into a depression spiral and I just get mad instead.
also fuck men. they will literally ruin your life and everyone around you will see they legitimately ruined your life and suffer no consequences for it.
No. 799945
>>799908Are you me? I still get that high school crush of mine popping in my head from time to time and it’s driving me nuts.
In my case, I wish he could’ve ignored me after I went full retard, but he was definitely a fucking nigel.
No. 799963
>>799949That is disturbing anon, sorry that happened to you. I guess I feel something similar since I was racially demeaned when I was assaulted too and I always wondered how I'm perceived ever sense. And it's become obvious to me that people have this hypersexualized image or stereotype in their heads.
BTW the "hard worker but not human" thing is super fucked up. I hope that cunts gets sued.
No. 799999
File: 1620268452304.jpg (16.85 KB, 250x250, kermit1.jpg)
I'm trying my best, I really am, so when will I be happy? I eat right, exercise, and meditate everyday. I make a list of my goals and accomplish them. I keep my space clean… stopped drinking. Why won't the bad thoughts just leave me alone already.
No. 800001
>>799999a-at least you got quints!
but seriously I'm sorry anon I hope you can feel better somehow. maybe you need to do therapy, or if you can't you can research ways to change your thinking like cbt methods? there is a lot out there online and in books that could help you. I'm really proud of you though for all you've been doing. it is a lot of effort tbh.
No. 800024
File: 1620273726524.jpeg (229.98 KB, 2048x1285, 62A27468-983D-4FB8-A41C-9A67EB…)
Just sent in my project which took MONTHS to complete and now I have an exam this morning. When will my suffering end. Put my out of my misery.
No. 800035
>>800032Preach,
nonnie, I hate that mentality as well, it’s so fucking
toxic and draining, you’d never notice how tiresome and shitty it is to have friends like that until you let them go.
No. 800082
>>800025This is a quint:
>>799999it means the 5 same numbers in a row
if it was
>>789999it would be a quad
and
>>784999would be trips
>>784599would be dubs
No. 800127
>>799856I'm experiencing a similar feeling currently, anon, so know you're not alone.
I have one more year until 30 and I can't help but feel stunted over the fact that my 20's got swallowed up by depression and now I have to pick up all the pieces and try to make something from them.
But like you said all that can really be done is to move forward and enjoy the future. I truly hope the next decade will be filled with more positive moments in your life!!
No. 800134
File: 1620291840077.jpg (108.63 KB, 1077x1177, Er01ykYXIAgOiS6.jpg)
Taking a big sip of stupid bitch juice because I have some very big feelings for a guy friend of mine but he's very clearly interested in a mutual friend of ours despite saying it's just innocent flirting because 'ThAt'S jUsT hIs PeRsOnAlItY' and despite knowing this won't end well I keep going back to him and trying to make him feel better about his stupid life issues because I really want to see him happy but god he just radiates stupid man energy so bad that I keep asking myself why do I deal with this but then he actually does some very nice things and I'm stuck again.
I hate that I met him and I hate that I am struggling with these feelings because it's so juvenile.
No. 800169
File: 1620298870121.jpg (12.65 KB, 750x483, 1619269242680.jpg)
>>799788I'm 2 months post breakup, no contact (by my choice) and I miss him more and more. Everyone says time heals but I'm not feeling it. And I didn't experience any breakup glow up or burst of motivation to get shit together, my life's only gotten worse since breaking up even though I'm trying.
No. 800188
File: 1620301058302.jpg (32.38 KB, 750x400, belle-de-jour-750x400.jpg)
I'm ovulating, super horny and single
No. 800190
File: 1620301279410.jpeg (56.39 KB, 911x501, A2ECCE52-005E-4749-A3AC-DD79B0…)
>>799788No. AAAAAA why do I care???
No. 800195
>>800172Huh i started looking up possible illnesses again and fibromyalgia came up. I need to go to the doctor again for antidepressants so i might press it this time.
Not sure if i could get lower hours but if they make threats this time I'll try. We have been understaffed and fucking sales keeps accepting orders when we are already drowning. I've had shitty jobs before when i could barely pay rent so I'm terrified to make less.
>>800174The tests have all been pretty normal except once it came back with a high white cell count and the doctor just shrugged and gaslighted me with 'well everyone is always tired too', among other, you are faking it lines. Scrote.
Sorry, starting to blog post. Don't really talk to anyone much.
No. 800214
File: 1620305603673.jpeg (115.45 KB, 553x546, AC22803E-543E-4162-9DFA-DC2077…)
>>800209I will never understand scrotes insulting their gfs bodies ever
No. 800224
>>800166I feel like this too, but I have severe anxiety and I'm really stressed so it all becomes psychosomatic. I am nauseous nearly every day and I get pains that change location every once in a while, so I get a month of headaches, then my stomach starts hurting, then it feels like I can't breathe even if I don't do anything, then it's ibs like things and so on. I was taken "seriously" only when I started dropping in weight because everything made me retch and the doctors were all like "lol exams are good, you just want attention and I'm not giving you anything for that".
Obviously you should so some exams to rule out everything else, but it could be because of mental stress and even if it's nothing physical, it can make you feel absolutely miserable. Aside from that, I assume you get a decent amount of exercise when working and you say you eat fairly well, so those shouldn't be problems.
No. 800236
>>800209Girl, dump the stupid scrote you deserve better, he should be counting his blessings you let him touch in the first place.
Dump him.
No. 800243
File: 1620308406869.jpg (35 KB, 750x640, 2613dfcba207c038b585e9059d70f3…)
I'm trying to be a good person and my life only gets worse. The people around me cheat, rely on nepotism and connections, whore themselves out, manipulate, bully etc. and their lives all look better than mine. I'm not saying all people are like this, but the ones I know are. Even the people who bullied me at school and gave me ptsd have great lives, especially when you compare them to my miserable existence. I'm basically living an ascetic lifestyle and I'm the most unhappy of all. When I was a kid adults were telling me I have to change because I'm too detached from reality and too meek and everyone will always try to leech off of me if I won't change and yet I couldn't. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know how to be like one of those people. I will always remain and the very bottom of the food chain.
No. 800257
>>800252> but I don’t have the power to change anything about my life.Why do you think so? Here's what I think
>no hobbiesPut the 9 hours you're spending on your phone now into a new hobby. If money is an issue, there's plenty of free or affordable hobbies
>no jobSo get yourself one. There's parttime jobs for students, can be as simple as helping out at your uni's library for a couple of hours a week. It may take a little while to find something but it should be possible.
>no friendsMake online friends, find friends through a friendsapp like BumbleBFF, join a teamsport or join a bookclub or whatever the equilavent is of the hobby you're going to pick up.
These are all reasonable points, right?
No. 800277
File: 1620311108561.png (314.34 KB, 520x358, will_poulter.png)
>>800272You guys are getting vaccines?
No. 800299
>>800259God anon this sounds like my worst nightmare, i'm sorry you had to experience this, but
>too hot to be depressedsounds like a good slogan
No. 800321
op of
>>799791 >>799833>>799818>>799877>>799875I would just like to thank you lovely anons for making me feel seen and validated. I for sure thought this post would either get ignored or i'd be boo'd and told that im just bitter because im ugly or something. It breaks my heart knowing you ladies are experiencing this too but it also made me feel less crazy and that im not the only one struggling in the romance department. Being 27 and never having a boyfriend is depressing on paper but when i really start to think about men its actually a blessing in disguise. Here's to hoping our prince charming falls into our lap and if he never shows up here's to being our own prince charming ladies <3
No. 800425
>>799791Same Anon.
I think everybody that got molested as a kid has a inner pickme that wants to pander to the opponent because they "just want to beloved". I was in this situation numerous times.
Do yourself a favor and stop try to satisfy these low life scums and just move on,they're not worth your time.
My tip would be try take a break from dating and when you want to play the game, try to not talk to multiple guys and only to a limited number.
No. 800430
File: 1620322856418.jpg (75.28 KB, 750x750, original.jpg)
Why do ugly people have such ego? They act so big and mighty online when they look like utter shit IRL. Like dw, you can keep on being an incel/pick me online, it won't change the fact you're puke material. I really wonder how it feels to be a loser but still manage to think people are jealous of you lol
No. 800436
>>800430Imagine thinking being pretty entitles you to superiority.
Good, I hope more uggies lord their egos over you and make you feel small and pathetic. You've got quite the ego to humble and I'm glad they're around to keep you in check.
No. 800449
File: 1620324517145.jpeg (14.06 KB, 400x146, 5D00586B-C6A3-45EF-89D7-683B0A…)
>>800430I love when Stacies post on lc
No. 800601
File: 1620333531719.png (46.45 KB, 680x194, ff3.png)
>>800259oof I thought this was just a meme
No. 800616
File: 1620334405858.gif (103.88 KB, 240x240, 4a0e9f4ac480e0a14842e5b9fd960a…)
>>800321yes queen! it's much better to be alone than to be in bad company.
No. 800830
>>800809Sis, not everything is lost. E-whoring isn't gonna help in any way, it may give you some shred of serotonin for a split second, but it's not gonna do you any good. This sounds stupid but get a hobby, even pick up a book, join some groups made for that field/fandom, you can still connect with people, even if it was just simple stuff like that. It feels bad right now and even hopeless but you can get through it, it may never be perfect and all sunshine but it will get better if you give yourself a chance. Us bitches on lolcow are here, we can reply to you and it's not much but it's proof that you're still here, we can hear you and you're still just a human. Humans can get bad, sick and go through difficult shit even if we seem ok on the outside, anon. We can also get better, even if it's just by a little. Can you just give yourself a day to rest, try not to binge, hydrate, write down your thoughts, and have that be enough? Just one day, don't blame yourself, just exist for a day.
No. 800842
File: 1620353962994.jpeg (185.8 KB, 629x900, 92C5FA3B-6FD1-44B9-925A-E239E2…)
>>800815one called me "daddy"
No. 800907
File: 1620362839413.jpeg (106.65 KB, 599x850, picrel - i wish i could open m…)
sad! went to the dentist to get a checkup, everything was fine and then the dentist assistant started to clean my teeth. i've been going to mine for a few years now and she looked new but was really really nice and i liked talking to her, although then she put the dry toothbrush drill on the side of my lip for like 15 second which hurt like hell. those things feel and look just like actual power tools so i was in a lot of pain but didn't say anything because i woke up super early and just wanted to go back home to bed, she didn't say anything too so i didn't realize how bad it was until i got home. it's healing and i can't open my mouth up wide enough until it does because it might "rip" it open again and i'm so so afraid of getting a scar. i feel so ugly with it right now and i want to cry, it's hard to brush my teeth because i can't open wide enough and i'm already super stressed out because of other things. i hope the scar doesn't stay there because i kind of look like the joker with a side of herpes. i already don't feel good with my face right now so this is just amazing.
No. 800925
>>800921you seem like you struggle with many things tho, this all makes you feel ugly, this incident with a 'new' employee'. you have no idea if she has experience anywhere else. its so bad you cant open your mouth youre too ashamed of it so you cry in your car after passing everyone in the office. take 15 seconds right now, like literally count it out, thats a long time. so if a dental assistant is messing up that bad, their boss should know, a dds shouldnt have someone so incompetent on their team
you mention being stressed out about other things and how you already dont feel good about your looks. is it the assistant or was it just catalyst for further self loathing?
No. 800950
>>800943yea holy shit this reads bpd, anon wtf. youre clearly struggling thru your own shit and you placed it on this woman with no proof. but honestly if its so bad, why should they get paid for piss poor work or establish poor work habits? there is no matter to go along with, you show them the damage and they go damn that looks like actual harm or thats a side effect its not that hard.
i get anxiety reading your post. you seem like you need more than dental care
No. 800966
File: 1620370401880.gif (2.63 MB, 320x320, tumblr_065c9bfb14f436ddc412e24…)
Working retail with lots of coworkers makes me feel actually autistic. I don't know how to make small talk for 8 hours and I'm not comfortable just butting into conversations other people are having when they have preestablished relationships. God bless the folks who are always super friendly and open, but they're few and far between. I know I'm coming across as a weirdo and it's making me want to cry, it's been like this my whole life but i swear im nice
No. 800981
>>800966I feel you. I'm just too shy and awkward to ever fit in or be truly comfortable with a group of people around my age. A bunch of people at my new job got hired at once and they all became instant bffs so I can't even use the excuse of being intimidated at a new workplace, or that I'm in a group of people who already knew each other.
Shyness is a vicious cycle because you never practice socializing -> your social skills get worse -> your attempts at socializing go poorly and embarrass you -> you become even more shy
No. 801017
>>800830>>800834Hi anons, thank you so much for responding. I fully understand that what I am doing is wrong and not helpful. I have many hobbies and things I love about life. The trauma I deal with stems from abuse and neglect as a child. It has very badly harmed my connection with myself as well as the outside world. I am severely alone and strongly hate myself. All of this makes it difficult for me to function properly every day for basic tasks and conditioned me to avoid what can help me. I do not mean this as an excuse, but my self-hatred is so strong, I sabotage myself a lot and firmly believe it is the correct thing to do. I don't hate life or the world. I hate myself. Currently I am living still with the parent who hurt me. They are very sick, so I have to take care of them. My studies haven't been going well and I am completely alone. As one would expect with a traumatised child, I was slightly dysfunctional (self-harm primarily) eventually and therefore have been to about 10 different therapists and programs. Every time I was redirected or misdiagnosed. All it did was further alienate me from my peers and reinforce the idea that something was fundamentally wrong with me. It never helped me. I know how to cure basic depression and help oneself with a healthy diet, exercise, hobbies, and so forth. Again, this isn't my issue. I was a successful student and participated in various clubs, both in the arts as well as sports, just some years ago. I'm well aware of so many things regarding a healthy lifestyle. But things caught up to me and now I can't shake this void. It is my development as a child that was hampered, and as I am not a parent or so, I struggle to offer myself what parents do for me to grow into a healthy human. However, I did message the last therapist I had just in case, whose file for me is still open. Unfortunately, they are too busy for me and unsure of when they'll be available. I don't feel comfortable with any of the "free resources", personally. I ran away from home not too long ago to a crisis center, but they couldn't take me in. The police eventually picked me up and brought me home. The file painted me as the crazy, incapable one of the situation. No mention of my parent or anything similar. I am not in a life-threatening situation, but I don't want any more official documents that do nothing but taint my name. I am not suicidal and I never will be, but I can't keep living like this. Constantly dissociating, having to numb myself or sobbing. I'm so alone. Sorry for this large message. But maybe the insight can be useful.
>>800830Thank you so much for your kind words. I can do that and have multiple days where I am "doing well". I eat well, exercise, and so forth. But the underlying problems prevail and ultimately catch up to me, especially now with my parent being ill and school. I'm so sorry for the sob story. I truly cannot believe I actually am at such a desperation mentally that I would do such things for men online. I haven't undressed yet, but I show my body and unbuttoned my bottoms. Maybe it is not so extreme, but I'm very confused. I just want to be seen and loved finally. I know they don't love me, but they're who I have. Thank you so much for responding to me. Really, thank you so much.
>>800834I will try to find a support group online. I don't know which books are good, but I should research more… Sorry for this, I will do it soon, I promise. I wish I could leave, but I'm also scared for when that moment comes. I'm preparing for it so I can leave asap, but it would also mean the definite end of my childhood. I don't feel fully adult nor child, just disintegrated and incomplete. So I am overall so overwhelmed with all of this. Sorry again for the sob story. I don't have anyone to support me, but I do genuinely appreciate your message so extremely much. Genuinely so much. Thank you.
No. 801021
>>800957eugh reminds me of a young guy who became smitten with me when i was ana-chan in college. he clearly saw me as an uwu waif who just needed to be shown how pretty she was~ instead of a delusional, ill young woman who required professional help.
he only got turned off when it became clear i hated myself/my body way too much to want to have sex. plus, no sex drive because malnutrition lol
No. 801089
File: 1620386853709.jpg (1.08 MB, 2954x3025, gardening.jpg)
>>798839That's why I said that anarcho primitivism is a meme, there is a spectrum between solarpunk environmentalism and anarcho primitivism, which all arguably can be grouped in under 'green anarchism'. Realistically speaking, it's going to be a commune just outside of the city, driving distance to a hospital. The point is more to have most of your daily life outside of all that stuff, don't have to be full Luddite about it or completely anti-tech/anti-civ. I just don't want to rely on civilization as much, you only need to look at the logistic chaos the pandemic caused, to know why. Also I just want to live together with friends and have a permaculture garden; cities enforce the nuclear family unit with the way streets and neighbourhoods are structured currently. Never mind the fact that it's nice when the forest is at a walking distance.
No. 801094
File: 1620387243688.jpg (160.79 KB, 481x448, IMG_20210507_193356.jpg)
My friend is annoying as hell, I ask a question through messaging and he sends a bunch of irrelevant shit and never answers the question. He always does it and even if I call him out on his BS, he'll never change bcos he grew up in a shit family without manners.
We rarely talk these days and he hits us up all of a sudden, I ask him a question, sends a bunch of stupid shit and doesnt answer. Should I cut him out of my life? He seems to be the only one benefitting because I'm not an autist who ignores his questions.
No. 801100
>>801097>>801098>>801099Ur right nonnas, thanks for the advice!
>>801099I missed it too and am currently rereading it right now! There are free scans online if ur willing to look back.
No. 801136
>>801017You wrote so much and I have so little to add but I wish I could hug you. I've been there, then my
abusive parent died and I was free in a way, but there was so much work to not feel how you're feeling right now. It sounds like bullshit but one day you'll be away from that place and those people and the bad memeories and habits lessen, please don't hate yourself.
No. 801167
File: 1620396655825.jpeg (106.58 KB, 750x588, ddhsaajFV.jpeg)
>>800950yes that's my problem, i literally have bpd. i literally have proof because she put the drill on my lip KEK i was literally there. i'll call them today and ask about it, thanks anon(s).
No. 801171
>>801143NTA but I'm from a small town in Eastern Europe and people act that way until the day they die here.
Teenagers bully their classmates for being different, if you're not knocked up by 20 young moms you used to go to class with will stop you on the street to ask you where's your baby and why aren't you married yet.
Old women watch from their balconies for things to gossip about and tell on you to your parents if they see you with a man, even if it's your cousin or uncle. They're bored, aimless and bloodthirsty.
No. 801217
File: 1620404438464.jpg (445.03 KB, 1080x1755, IMG_20210507_181748.jpg)
I regret reading comment section. "I know he's 51 and shes 19 but they're both adults so it's fine" from both sexes and "all men would do it if they could" from scrotes. I know that maybe not all, but the wast majority of men definitely would if they could and I hate them.
No. 801284
I'm so annoyed with an ex acquaintance of mine. They simp for a shitty female "gender special", poly, nsfw undertale writer who is known for harassing everyone they come in contact with but will tell you it's for your own good. Riding off the coattails of more popular people, sexually assaulting people they meet irl (Will tell you it's because she's a bad ass bdsm queen but it's just abuse), threatening people, telling others to off themselves, getting their friends to harass people who tell her no, getting people's addresses, stalking, claiming all autistic people don't understand the meaning of no because reasons? You name it, the list goes on.
So recently there are like 20+ people who have horror stories with this chick. What does this ex acquaintance say in their defense? "Well it doesn't count! If you have a group of people who hate someone, it becomes an echo chamber! You guys are making a hate group! You're bullying her! (The irony)"
Mmmn yes, because victims are in the wrong if they speak up about it or console one another. It's gotten to the point that they went rabid and started attacking people as well. Basically a white knight. Of course I distanced myself from it, but those two have slowly been becoming personal cows I watch from a distance. They're just so unhinged because they always post about fake positivity and shit like that. It's wild.
No. 801295
File: 1620411948305.jpg (21.66 KB, 640x368, 1615411434480.jpg)
Ex told me he's not over me like a month ago, despite him being in a new relationship and engaged for 1+ years and our breakup was like 4 years ago.
I'm 100% over him, don't hate him but I started having dreams where we hug or just act close and it pisses me off because it makes me feel awkward since I know his current fiance wouldn't be okay with it. Brain just stop jfc or pick some other person to feel close to.
No. 801309
File: 1620412768869.jpg (105.96 KB, 1024x898, 1610967985930.jpg)
I have a mixed emotion where I feel jealousy, envy and affection all at the same time toward someone. Maybe I should stop comparing myself but it's so ironic that we are alike, I wanna get better too.
No. 801337
>>801321t. coping fandom geek
Groupies have fucked celebrities before.
No. 801344
File: 1620414222931.jpg (89.76 KB, 708x708, tumblr_ac299bf6deb92f3fd188b1c…)
My aunt has been working abroad for 6 months, she's back in the country now and she's staying for 2 weeks, I called her on wednesday and she told me she will pay me a visit on friday. And she didn't come. She didn't call me either. I was so stressed out but also excited because I haven't had any guests in months and I missed her, and now I feel ignored lol. She could've at least called me. I'm sure she said "friday". I'm not retarded right…
No. 801345
>>801337My celebeirty crush is in his mid 60s and lives in a different country and this post is
triggering me because I know I will never fuck him reeeeeeeee
No. 801352
File: 1620414589224.png (36.32 KB, 278x280, 471-4710617_emojis-cursedemoji…)
>accounts hacked
>check google passwords
>"10 compromised passwords leaked in security breach"
>"ah, fucking damn it god i hate the fucking internet sometimes jesus fuck"
>change passwords
>today
>cant enter my twitters (have two with different passwords each)
>check passwords on iphone
>"43 compromised passwords leaked in security breach"
>mfw
no, i dont use the same password for every site. but cmon. these are almost 50 passwords we are talking about. god i fucking hate all these stupid data breaches ive lost like 5 accounts to this shit leave me the fuck alone fucking shit
No. 801363
File: 1620415759979.jpeg (60.7 KB, 828x820, 4F4CD862-289C-4EBA-9D70-AC9582…)
i failed my first drivers test today. i got really nervous and messed up on dumb shit. im 19 without a license still. feels bad. if there are any nonnies who got their license later or failed ill take any advice u have.
No. 801373
>>801367Thank you anon, I'll look for a PDF. I wonder if it's the same everywhere in the world? At least in the west. Cause I'm not american, but hey, good tips are good tips
Thank you again
No. 801376
>>801374Who shat in your tea,
nonnie?
No. 801380
File: 1620417207305.png (2.06 MB, 1242x2208, 207392D9-0613-4259-BEE4-11A305…)
>>801376There’s always one
No. 801422
>>801363That's completely normal,
nonny. Don't be hard on yourself.
No. 801423
>>801359What is your current degree in?
You aren't unemployed cause of your degree anyway.
No. 801457
File: 1620422296642.jpg (35.58 KB, 640x425, sed.jpg)
Maybe it's because my sleep schedule and diet have been piss poor lately but everything that can go wrong, seems to be going wrong for me fight now.
A close friend I had a falling out with over her on/off boyfriend (who hasn't know her as long as I have and isn't even with her atm) being dick to me and her not speaking up as it happened, has finally texted me backs after 2 weeks of us not talking (and 1 week since I've sent her a text wanting to forget it all, not even asking for an apology) siding with the nasty boyfriend.
It seems I picked the worst time to catch up on the news after taking a break from it. The celebricows thread also got me down just now. Ik all news is bad news these days but what the fuck?
Running is the only thing I can effectively manage stress with and I haven't been able to do that for weeks now that I've sprained my ankle.
This was completely my own doing but I made the mistake of checking up on my old classmates social media after going ages without doing it and although I know people on post the highlights of their lives online omitting the bad times, the fact that anything good is happening to them at all compared to the constant lows I seem to keep hitting is depressing to see.
"The mean girls will peak in their teenage years and you'll go far in life!" they said, but a lot of those girls are doing pretty well compared to me so it's nice to have my adolescent fears that I will never amount to anything confirmed.
No. 801469
File: 1620423048984.jpeg (2.02 MB, 2900x2900, 1619735488560.jpeg)
Welp, I had to quit my job because of my health. I can never maintain one for more than 2 months before it becomes a risk. Docs can't find anything. How the fuck do I get disability or find a job that I can function in?
No. 801498
File: 1620425940163.png (180.69 KB, 529x529, 1607532482399.png)
>Hmm maybe I should be productive tomorrow, I'll exercise lightly and finally sleep early to get some work done tomorrow :)
>Fixes bed
>Sleeps on time
>Happy
>Wakes up feeling something wet
>Cat pissed on newly washed sheets
>I put cats out of room
>One cat clinged on for some reason, gave me deep-ass cuts on hand, has never done this before
>My palm, back of hand and thumb is now wounded and in severe pain
>Remembers general cleaning plans
>fml
god's just fucking with me, isn't he? that bastard
No. 801528
File: 1620430436150.jpg (168.57 KB, 1908x1146, 27903066-0-image-a-104_1588366…)
>>801513you're so right,
nonnie. his fiancee is 29 years old, for crying out loud. he was only a 22 year old young man when she was born. clearly they have a totally normal and well-adjusted relationship.
No. 801531
>>801457I hope you feel better and your ankle recovers soon anon, I can relate a lot to how you’re feeling.
Please try your hardest to maintain your good habits again, I know it’s difficult and can feel borderline impossible at times, but in my experience it’s truly the only thing that can pull you up from rock bottom. And I recommend blocking everyone from your past whose profile makes you feel upset, there’s literally nothing but hurt in having access to these people. Again, I’m really rooting for you, sending love x
No. 801538
File: 1620432719803.jpg (156.65 KB, 794x1059, il_794xN.2856442729_9xwu.jpg)
She has like no reason to be this unreasonable when everything was fixed for the test but now she wants to move the whole thing because she would die if she cannot control us.
Accept we are in online classes. Accept we aren't in the classroom and you can't terrorize us as usual
No. 801543
File: 1620433647245.jpeg (201.68 KB, 750x1213, 8E1F37FC-166E-4754-B754-9263B3…)
I have no one else to vent to and was hoping if I could get reassurance. Lately I just feel like being at my home with my family is becoming even more stressful and anxiety filled, I just really wish I could harm my sibling that has nearly ruined our lives. We can’t even go on vacations because my mother is afraid he’ll have a mega-sperg outrage, we can’t even live in nice areas because his idiotic fat gorilla self will keep calling the ambulance because he thinks he has 9000 diseases. I literally can’t wait any longer for him to finally be in a fucking home for himself (and yes he’s disabled.) I just wish it could just be and my small family, I wish he was never born. I just wish he would fucking drop dead already, he’s literally such a useless object I just want him to fucking die
No. 801669
>>801543Just want to say, I totally get you.
One of my sisters is autistic, but like actually no joke autistic, with a mental age of a 4 year old and VERY prone to tantrums in which she randomly tries to hurt people.
My childhood was 18 years of trauma, until she got too strong to remain at home and had to be instituted.
Now she's drugged out of her mind 24/7 and does nothing but eat and sleep.
Whole thing is just too fucked up to even think about, so I rarely do, but you brought back some feelings.
I never told anyone that I even have such a sister cause it is too embarrassing.
No. 801704
File: 1620473321830.jpg (43.39 KB, 469x583, 075.jpg)
>>801697I am proud of you, anon. I ended up stopping hanging around these kinds of people, too, realising how selfish they are. Their
victim complex is unbearable, and everything they say is disgenuine, because they will always end up making everything about themselves, even your moments or compliments.
Do not let them guilt trip you, just ignore them or-and keep a safe distance. In the end they play the
victim role because they want to get attention and believe that the world should resolve around them.
No. 801712
File: 1620474561493.png (871.74 KB, 666x644, 6f2.png)
fuck fuck fuck why are fucking trannies here in all places, i live in a shithole in a second world country that despises LGBT and i'm scared that tranny "rights" will come here before LG rights. i said trannies are sick to my "friends" and one of them turned out to know a real life troon (the mtf "transbian" kind)
i "broke up" with my female friend because she can't even explain why she thinks trannies and moids are good people, all she says is retarded bullshit like "everyone is entitled to their own opinion" well guess what, cunt? your opinion isn't even backed by anything, so it's pure bs
the thing is, it's not really because of her (misogynist and pickme) opinions per se, but because she puts "saving friendships" before personal values and i consider that retarded. not to mention she's a diagnosed cluster b cunt. i think i did the right thing.
No. 801718
>>801712My homecountry was full radfem (if there ever was a topic about feminism) for many years, because the country hates women and praises it to a point where there'd be a murderer or rape case and the
victim is a woman, people would always blame her, saying that she should be the one going to jail, whiteknighting the man and writing petitions to free him all the time. I even remember that a fucked up prestigious history teacher cut his student (whom he was dating) body in half, kept it in the apartment for few days, left the head (for whatever reason) in his closet and got caught throwing the rest of the body in the nearest river (that ironically enough was next to my own school…). The body was too heavy for him so he almost drowned, someone random saw him and checked the bag… It's been two years and this man is still not in jail, even though his own defense said that "they shouldn't put him in jail because GOD already punished him" and he started PRETENDING to be crazy. People still wk him throughout this day.
But now, with the fact over how popular Twitter is and how "cool" English speaking internet is, people brainwashed themselves into millions of non existent sexualities and genders, which is hilarious to me because in our language, they them and other weird pronouns don't work at all. I feel depressed how there are so many people aggressively screaming at normal people or GNC and radfems, supporting all the troonerism because they want to be super tolerant. Thankfully (and not surprisingly) most of the trans from homecountry that I've seen on internet are FtMs, which is sad tbh. And they all are fujos.
No. 801729
File: 1620475834632.jpg (64.51 KB, 1200x1149, 1614190061589.jpg)
>>801712On my shithole country's mainstream discussion forum people will post about how women are golddigging whores, stuck up and should go back to their trad roles, but if someone insults a tranny celebrity/public figure, people will tell them to "mind their own business" and "everyone should be able to do whatever makes them happy", especially if they're "fuckable" by scrote standards.
No. 801735
>>801718i'm pretty used to seeing FtMs on the web now but that's easily explained by the overall misogyny. girls (especially autistic women who just can't fit into the trad submissive Slavic woman role) just want an easy way out and now they have a "possibility" (if their boomer ex-ussr parents don't live with them). lots of radfems i know came from misogynist imageboards larping as males and almost memeing themselves into trooning out.
i don't know how to explain MtFs except fetishism though. a lot of MtF-troon related shit on the social networks here (except twitter, never went in there) is "sissy tranny trap" kinda stuff.
the worst is, since a slav male is still affected by his chauvinist upbringing and that won't change from becoming a tranny, the "punch a
terf" threats make more sense. don't get me started on 2ch and their doxxing of women by incel shits.
>>801729>everyone should be able to do whatever makes them happyi hate this rhetoric so much. killing people makes a sadist happy but we don't allow that. adaptive strategies (such as crash diets and makeup) employed by women under patriarchy make them temporarily "happy" but hurt them in the process.
No. 801739
>>801733Yes!!
>>801735A lot of women turn Into FtMs because of lesbian erasure: people would claim u are a man if you are butch, or normal tomboys being brainwashed by it.
As for slavic troons, Lolita jsf community has its own good amount of MtFs now who look creepy asf on photos. Before troonerism was a thing I'd only read some autistic NEET man's diary who LARPed as Yuki , lived with parents and claimed he wants to be a woman.
I am in a diff Slavic place now, and I keep seeing only furries who are trannies. They tend to add a lot of bullshit into country's news for "woke points" on twitter and likes, making things overlydramatic for no reason by lying. It's pathetic.
No. 801753
File: 1620477804436.jpg (241.32 KB, 1500x2500, 5bg0qix5fu961.jpg)
>>801739>people would claim u are a man if you are butchthis happened to me before i realized i wasn't a "moid trapped in a girl's body", i was just gay. still happens but i don't actively try to "pass as a male".
i'm happy you got out of that tranny-plagued misogynist shithole though before it'll get worse for women (and i think it will).
No. 801755
File: 1620477898942.jpg (2.09 MB, 2000x1091, 1593728242984.jpg)
I have to study but I'm so fucking tired. I have an exam in 3 days and I just don't have any brainpower left. Legit could sleep whole day. I need to study but it all becomes a hazy cloud in my head.
No. 801777
>>801704It's exactly that! I really did my best for my friend. Insecure people constantly make everything about themselves, complain about everything and always take the
victim role. Or they pity themselves so much that it becomes unbearable. Thanks anon, I hope things will change.
No. 801808
>>801794Yes!!! Wow I've actually had this exact conversation with my boyfriend many times, and he always reminds me that (1) mathematical probability doesn't work that way and (2) I can't keep ruining my lucky life by living in anticipation of something bad.
I find it very difficult not to be nervous about it though, I definitely always jump to extremes with intrusive thoughts about how my parents/sibling will die or my bf will backstab me, and much worse things. I hope we can both find some peace, anon.
No. 801822
File: 1620487520568.png (92.5 KB, 394x367, angery.PNG)
my job means that i have to be around teenage boys (and their families) on a regular basis and fucking hell has it reminded me of how much i hate those little demons. their constant anti social behavior, screaming, acting out, throwing and breaking shit, yelling sexual jokes and porn references in public, i could go on forever.
and of course their mommies just coddle them because boys will be boys! wouldn't want to oppress them by holding them accountable for the destruction they cause!! hashtag war on boys!!!
i'm so fucking tired of having to tolerate this horseshit all the time
No. 801884
File: 1620496107112.jpg (68.26 KB, 890x839, 1600373006104.jpg)
My fiance is really pissing me off because his ex womanchild still keeps him super enmeshed in her business.
Apparently she lost her keys while out of her apartment today, and because he still has a key copy since the lease on it hasn't expired yet, he's promised to go help her because she sent him some desperate panicky text to let her in. I told him to not do it. We were out at lunch and he has work in an hour. I'd be more accepting if she said she had called the office and he was the last resort, but no. She goes to him first so she doesn't have to do any work and lay the responsibility to fix it on someone else. FYI - she doesn't really allow him back in that apartment despite paying for half of it. This is her shit test. This is her testing him to see if he's still willing to enable her when she fucks up at her beck and call. It's inappropriate and I resent it. I don't care if he feels pity for her. But anyways, he went and did it while acting like she's helpless.
She's having an affair with a married man and needed an abortion a few months ago. Who did she call? Him, because she wanted him to pay for her half of rent so she could afford the abortion. When she falls in "dark times" who does she call for grocery money? Him, because he'll give it to her without question. When she can't pay the water bill? Him. No, she won't pick up more hours at work or get a second job despite living in a city center. No, she won't try to get her driver's license even if covid has made it so she wouldn't even have to do the road test to get it. No, she won't stop fucking the unavailable married man who is currently ghosting her due to 'work stress.' No, she won't take her living alone in that apartment as an opportunity to develop another relationship with an available man who'd let her live with him once the lease is over. No, she won't make friends with other women to rely on during hard times or to ask to be roommates when the lease is over.
No, no, no. She just wants him.
She once came after me via social media while I was at work because she thought I was "talking shit" to my boyfriend about her because he cut back on being her simp, so she went through his ipad at the apartment and saw texts of him ranting to me about her which made ME the devil one.
I need this bitch gone. I could understand if we were all in our early 20s, but I'm 30 and she's 43. Why the FUCK is she allowed to still act like an irresponsible, selfish teenager? You'd think between the two of us, I'd be the one making more immature mistakes since I'm younger, but that's not the case. I wouldn't have the audacity and she has audacity.
No. 801887
File: 1620496837045.png (2.21 MB, 2048x2048, 1605336027836.png)
anyone just feel like they are just not good at anything
i have hobbies but I am either average or shit at them
none of my friends want to play games and other hobbies
i am just not getting anywhere with…
i am horrible at learning in school and in my hobbies
why do i bother trying at this point with anything
No. 801908
>>801884The biggest retard in all of this is you who puts up with all of this.
You need to gtfo asap and find yourself a man.
No. 801911
Nonies, I just came home after being away for college for a week and my sister told me our family cat (she is actually my grandparents', but she wanders around the house a lot) got hit by a car and she is limping. I immediately went to check on her and she doesn't seem to be doing too bad, but she lays down a lot and when she gets up she barely puts any weight on her injured leg. I'm so fucking mad, my family always treated our animals like shit, I don't remember ever going to a vet even though we had tons of pets and we never were all that poor. I am absolutely seething, we had this cat for 13 years and yet it's somehow too outlandish to take her to the vet after an injury??? Anyways, I called the vet an hour ago and my friend is giving me a ride to the appointment tomorrow. I hope she just got a big bruise and nothing is broken.
(also, please spare me from the "cats should be kept indoors" sperg, I already know and if it wasn't already obvious from my rant, I cannot convince my family to be reasonable)
No. 801922
>>801918Don't care about random birds and small critters.
Let the cat do it's thing.
No. 801934
File: 1620502495303.jpg (127.58 KB, 526x800, 98fb2c10-645b-48b1-a3e2-2e63d0…)
When will robots replace what a man could never give me? I only ask for loyalty and to be his priority. All men have done is lie, fantasize about the whore things they want to do, and take and take and take. They chip me down to be less of a woman than I was before. I'm nothing, but a husk of a human. I'm disappointed. I'm bored. When will it stop feeling like this?
No. 801984
>>801978You're right, it's unfair of me to blame her. She was suffering too and untagging us from a photo probably never occurred to her given everything going on at the time. I'm just gonna text her and inform her about it so she can untag us. Luckily my parents hardly go on FB so they likely won't see it.
You're also right that I probably haven't emotionally dealt with this situation as much as I thought I have. I'm gonna talk to my therapist about it our next appointment. It's just really hard because that was the darkest ohase of my life and the one time I couldn't rely on my parents for support because pbviously it was infinitely harder for them than me.
No. 802059
I know at this point I've posted about it too many times and I'm sorry, but it's till got me fucked up.
I tried to hang myself like a couple months ago, fucked it up and was too scared to try it again, so I went to a psychward. It was honestly a huge relief despite being humiliating and being a disgrace to my entire family. But when I got there, they refused me insulin.
I wanted to die to begin with because of the pressure of being diabetic. The maintenance never ends, the calls never end, I am on the phone the entire business day with insurance, billing companies, and various doctors offices/hospitals minimum twice per week. My mom always told me growing up she had to quit workign because there's just no way you can have a day time job and do these calls, never mind the actual appointments, every business you have to deal with opens at 8 and closes at five, and each call lasts three hours with you having to play phone tag, I get that now. I literally just didn't see a doctor for two years because insurance never wants to cover anything and the hospital will send debt collectors after you if you/your insurance don't pay on time. I don't have any money, everything I have goes to needles and plastic.
And that's just the business end, the actual misery is the daily maintenance, and everyone acts like it isn't a big deal. Well you aren't giving yourself injections/infusion sets/testing your bg the entire day, so why is it such a big deal to you? There's sometimes even multiple hours in between those events, just don't think about it.
Just never exercise, never take a nap, never eat a snack, never go outside when it's hot, never experience intense emotions, never get stressed, never get sick (despite being immunocompromised), and never have an equipment malfunction and there won't be any extra maintenance, just the stuff you can't avoid and have to do every day.
That was why I tried to kill myself. I'm tired. I am tired all the time. I am too much of a coward to try again, I couldn't even try again that night when I woke back up. When I went to the psychard, I was relieved, I thought at least there will be 72 hours where I don't have to worry about all of this. but they took my insulin pump as soon as I got there. And the pharmacist thought it was a mistake that the nurses ordered insulin for me at night, so I went the first 14 hours there with no insulin at all. And after that, they wouldn't give me enough anyway. I was running over 300 the entire time I was there. I was puking and pissing foam every half hour. My mouth and eyes were so dry it hurt to blink. My legs itched from the inside. I kept begging for insulin and they kept telling me to go back to bed, eventually telling me if I didn't go back to bed they would keep me even longer.
All I could think the whole time was the sheer irony, the disease I tried to die over was going to kill me, it was like a cosmic punishment.
Everything is worse now. I still want to die so badly, but I can never be honest with how badly I feel ever again or I know now that they can kill me. My endocrinologist told me afterward that this isn't an uncommon way for diabetics to die in hospitals.
Tehre is no help. It will never get better and it will never go away, and I don't know what to do. My therapy appointment is finally coming up, beginning of June. But what until then? And what are they going to do to help me anyway? the same thing all of the other therapists have said? Just don't think about it? How? Well you don't have to do it constantly, some times there's even hours in between. I wish I hadn't fucked it up the one time I was brave enough to make it stop. They have me on a mood stabilizer now, the psychiatrist says there's only a few different ones I can try because most of them fuck up your blood sugar. This disease owns me and controls me and prevents me even from getting help.
I want to run away for my life from my life. There's just no hope and I am so weak. I don't know what I can do. I can't talk to anyone in my life because it's too depressing. No one wants to hear this shit. I am completely alone and it's my fault and I deserve it. I've ruined everything, I destroyed my family and there's no hope. I am pathetic for not trying again. I think the only way I could redeem anything about myself would be to not fuck this up next time I work up the courage. I just want it to stop because there's no help to be had.
I want to run until my skin falls off and I'm just a skeleton.
No. 802107
>>802088People who love their cats know to keep them in or supervise them while outside. It's illegal to let them free roam where I live. If dogs aren't allowed, why cats?
And arguably the point
>>801916 made applies to all pets so she better not have any.
Also, to clarify, I mean no insult to the OP with the injured cat. When it comes to family cats it's not up to you which stinks. My cat growing up was obese and it was out of my control because I was a child. I had to try very hard to prevent the same happening to my current girl because of my family.
No. 802141
>>802107>If dogs aren't allowed, why cats?a roaming cat won't make me fear for my life the way a sizeable dog would, also cats have built-in GPS that lets them find their way home 90% of the time
anyway I think we can all agree that certain parts of the world has moved past treating every cat like a barn cat while others haven't and we won't know who's right or wrong because the cats won't tell us
No. 802145
>>802140Missing someone doesn't mean they are good people or they will treat you good, missing people doesn't mean you need to reconnect
Love yourself, respect yourself, have boundaries, don't let people walk over you just because you had fun with someone in the past
No. 802153
The more I live on this planet, the question of "oh god why do I exist" becomes louder and louder and louder. You have to do this, you can't do that, you shouldn't do that, you should do that, you must not do that, you must do that. The contradictory nature of anything we do or don't is so tiring. Add to the burning forest more oil, where you have to think about your stupid, bullshit career and pretend like you know and are everything so that you can earn more coin to become a paranoid, tense, and stressed human being. I really wish I didn't exist.
No. 802160
>>801984I agree with
>>801978. I am so sorry about what happened to you anon! However I don’t think it’s your aunts fault. It just sounds like a really difficult time for everyone involved. I hope you and your mom can find the healing you need after such an awful event. Do you think there is a way you could untag yourself on Facebook? Maybe you could get a trusted friend to come over and untag yourself from it?