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File: 1618938574761.jpg (132.54 KB, 700x1067, 1616123292811.jpg)

No. 787646

previous thread: >>>/ot/780175

No. 787654

>>787646
this image makes me so uncomfortable, it looks dead

No. 787658

File: 1618939228170.jpg (121.5 KB, 660x912, sleeping-puppy11.jpg)

>>787654
he's ok just sleepin

No. 787670

>>787646
the classical art threadpics were better

No. 787671

I can't stop thinking about when I worked at a preschool-2nd grade building, and the schoolboard was still making the janitors/groundskeepers spray the playground with Round Up
I wonder if they did that when I was a kid too, and I just haven't gotten any bad effects yet, or if they started doing it when Round Up got cheaper because they will do literally anything to save money so they can still take a $40,000 bonus each at the beginning of the year
Either way, I am distraught for the kids

No. 787674

File: 1618940564932.png (1.02 MB, 1489x837, screen-shot-2018-05-16-at-12-2…)

i know no one cares but i recently had to upgrade my phone because my screen shattered and it would cost more just to fix it than to get a brand new phone. I ended up getting the iphone 11 because i really loved the lavender iphone its so pretty. Before i went to purchase it though i went online and saw the latest iphone was the 12 but the onlhy pretty color they had was the green one which is DUMB!. why release a phone in a pretty purple color and then when you make a brand new phone make that color available months later. Im hoping i still can trade this one in and get the 12 in purple. IM JUST SO MAD BECAUSE THEY SHOWED THIS TODAY AND I UPGRADED ON SATURDAY. I WANT TO SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM

No. 787675

>>787674
iphone users be like

No. 787676

>>787670
Maybe next time be faster then!

No. 787678

i am in class right now but i don't want to do this anymore
why this everyday? it doesn't mean anything
i wish living was free

No. 787681

>>787674
wait till you discover the lack of headphone jack

No. 787683

File: 1618941847179.jpeg (242.33 KB, 1200x848, A63EAAA0-6B9C-424B-989E-D78045…)

I’m on my 6th day of a water fast. I’ve been doing well and I’m proud of myself. This is supposed to be a reset, a turn of events for me. And yet I am so fucking terrified that nothing will change when I come out of this. I’m so scared I’m gonna continue to be a bulimic piece of shit with no self control. Why is it so much easier to be extreme than to be appropriate… I have all these plans for myself but the fear of failure is overwhelming. I still fantasize about binging. I guess it means I’ll have to keep going until I only think about healthy habits.
Also I hate men so fucking much for being fat like how much do you have to eat to get that way even with moid metabolism. Ugh.

No. 787688

>>787683
you're doing great anon already, and even if the worst happens and you fail you will hae ascertained you are capable of being reasonable for a certain amount of time, which indicates you're capable of doing even better next time.
don't set crazy expectations and be kind to yourself !!

No. 787689

>>787674
>doesn’t like the green iPhone 12
Weak! How dare you? It’s a beautiful color, it looks like a super fucking cute little froggy frog! You can get an adorable yellow phone case and you will get the prettiest iPhone 12 in all history!
lavender is cute as well though

No. 787693

Nonas I'm dying!

No. 787696

>>787693
well stop then?

No. 787708

>>787693
Cancer anon? Is that you?

No. 787732

>>787681
They removed it because they know how easy it is to lose earpods, meaning more money. So fucking disgusting I hope the retards at apple drop dead

No. 787745

>>787732
Based.

No. 787754

>>787708
I hope cancer anon is ok

No. 787757

Fuck zuck for putting before/after nosejobs in my face, also wish my mom would stop projecting her insecurities on me and suggesting plastic surgeries, were I born a male this shit would have never came up in the first place

No. 787758

File: 1618949168277.jpeg (40.39 KB, 500x379, 2A633858-5F62-453E-AA6E-6C2C97…)

My stupid fucking sex offender neighbor keeps yelling at his dogs and using powered equipment right outside my door and I have to work from home… I am so done lol

No. 787762

>>787758
tell the police you saw him walking around with binoculars at night

No. 787765

File: 1618949907243.jpg (24.21 KB, 663x602, HUH.jpg)

>>787758
>sex offender neighbor

um what in the actual fuck anon? why did you move in a neighborhood with a kiddy diddler

No. 787770

>>787754
Idk if there's more cancer anons than me but I am doing good! Got my vaccine today, surgery in a few months

No. 787772

>>787758
They would never suspect you for arson

No. 787779

>>787683
sorry anon but who is picrel artist

No. 787782

File: 1618952811559.jpg (68.89 KB, 635x635, 1618585260246.jpg)

Its going to be my birthday on the 22nd, i just hope that nothing bad happens anymore because no birthday of mine went around without any mishaps.

No. 787783

>>787782
Sending you good thoughts anon, I hope your b-day is peaceful.

No. 787790

>>787770
Hope there's no more and you'll leave the club to rejoin the healthy anons club soon!

No. 787792

>>787779
NTA but I found their twitter for you https://twitter.com/ii_mememe

No. 787805

it's so good to "take the L" of communicating openly and being vulnerable as opposed to being passive aggressive and distant out of pride fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

No. 787810

This semester ends in two weeks…I'm so unprepared for finals for two of my classes and it scares the fuck out of me.

No. 787811

he doesnt deserve me

No. 787812

I have stress chorro

No. 787813

File: 1618956381954.webm (706.4 KB, 640x360, BOB.webm)

>>787782
I hope your b-day goes great anon!Long live April anons
My b-day is coming up too and I got some shit news so I'm already bummed. I did get some presents early tho so I'm treating myself to some online shoppin.

No. 787817

File: 1618956503046.jpeg (68.49 KB, 450x675, 5BA834B5-0DCA-4614-A45D-F28851…)

>>787765
Ummm anon this question is so stupid I want to die

No. 787818

File: 1618956565871.png (11.72 KB, 318x84, 1.png)

>>787812
pic kinda related idk ily lolcow admin

No. 787823

now im gonna have to listen to my racist coworkers bitch about "if he cant breath then he cant talk" "all hell is going to break loose" "he didnt die because of the cop, he died because of all the drugs he did" and pretend i dont know what the fuck theyre talking about because theres no point even trying to talk to these racists.
not surprise though. retarded ass people around town put the confederate flag, impeach biden, and white lives matter stickers on their car.

No. 787827

>>787823
It is very frustrating, and tbh I feel lucky to not live in an area where I have to deal with a ton of those people (despite being in the south) Also, I reported your post because I thought it was the scrote that's shitting up the boards, I'm sorry anon lmao

No. 787832

tons of loli and loli gore on this website today. Bye.

No. 787834

I have fungal infection in my mouth and on my scalp. My doctor suspects I may have systemic candidasis already. I'm losing weight, I'm unable to treat my anaemia, I'm experiencing constant brain fog and new allergies I never had before etc. I don't know why is my immune system so shit. I'm so tired, I wish I could just drop this body and get a new one

No. 787838

I want to die

No. 787849

>>787832
all scrotes to the gulag now

No. 787854

>>787790
I am trying my very best and this means a lot, have a lovely goddamn day anon!

No. 787857

>>787832
He needs to get a diary or something because I feel like we all deserve compensation for having to read his ramblings.

No. 787859

File: 1618959153424.jpg (20.53 KB, 400x400, Happy-Frog-Statue-Fun-Couple-L…)

I come to this thread every time my boyfriend is acting like an asshole to me, but I can never bring myself up to actually write anything. Sometimes I want to write about all the awful things he says to me, but I just can't. I feel so selfish for even complaining about it. pic unrelated (wish it was)

No. 787861

I'm horny and want dick but I've promised myself to focus on school and ignore men until I've lost the last 15kgs. It's not easy but I know it'll be worth it for my self esteem if I wait

No. 787862

>>787859
>every time my boyfriend is acting like an asshole to me
>every time
You should leave him.

No. 787863

>>787859
You deserve better. Please leave him.

No. 787872

>>787862
>>787863
Sometimes I do think about leaving him, but I'm scared that he's at a point where he'd even hurt himself to get me back (because that happened before). I know I'm a doormat, I know that I should leave him, but I really care about him and I don't want him to do anything to himself. I know that his mental health is not an excuse, but I've seen it deteriorate over time and I just want him to get better. I'm sorry for the autistic sperg anons

No. 787874

>>787872
>I'm scared
>he'd hurt himself to get me back (that happened before)
You aren't a doormat, you've been conditioned by a dangerously manipulative abuser
Don't be sorry, I'm sure you've been taught that you have to be sorry for everything, but you don't

No. 787883

>>787859
I hope you'll find someone to be hoppy with sweet anon. Leave that guy.

No. 787884

>>787872
>he'd even hurt himself to get me back (because that happened before)
I know this might sound callous but when you reach this point, let him do it. If you're concerned, alert his friends and family and explain the situation, but leave it. At the end of the day it's you or him and he's the one harming you both, so why should you be the one that bears the burden?

No. 787887

>>787884
this this this this this this
Tell his family, you have absolutely no responsibility to this man, and if you tell his family, you don't have to worry about him getting help, that's on them

No. 787896

I just wanna scream into the abyss but my boyfriend is making me sick
He's extremely lazy and has dreams of starting a family and being a provider but can't even lift a finger to help himself. I have a question weekly maid that has a no answer fee of $100 and two weeks in a row he fell asleep and the maid canceled. The only reason I hired a maid is because he can't be asked to do simply cleaning but apparently can't answer the door either. On top of that he got into several wrecks using my car costing me money and my insurance is now twice and every single job lead he gets he ends up blowing off. He can't be asked to do any sort of college stuff either despite being unemployed and is always embarrassing me in public and can't use simple logic. He then feels bad about lazing around and starts binging and not showering instead of fixing the issues anytime I call him out and makes everything about how bad he feels. He's overweight now and is constantly getting me sick because he doesn't shower and then thinks "I forgot" is a good excuse. He's also cheated on me several times because he likes fat girls and I'm fit and curvy

No. 787898

Time to delete all the bad songs I relate to him and put new shit into my playlist! fuck him honestly
(no this isn't kpop, don't ban me for my superb jpop taste this time please)

No. 787905

Dating a youtuber: Not Even Once
I swear to god it has been the most stressful thing in my life so far, at least he's gone and I can move on with my happy life. Fuck it. I'm happier now, good fucking riddance. He never loved me either way.

No. 787907

>>787896
Is this a larp or are you one of these retarded girls that stays with shit men?

No. 787908

>>787857
Gorl I didn't even read em, just reported them after having to see that disgusting shit… plus his posts said the n word way too much. It was pitiful and stupid. Not worth my time. I hope he got permabanned.

No. 787910

>>787906
Idk, your run of the mill scrote problem. He never loved me to begin with and now he pushed me away and said he might come back and maybe want a relationship if his anxiety is cured. I say, fuck it. Lol
I hope he's happy with whoever the fuck he finds in the future but honestly he hurt me so much, I kind of wish he hurted even more now.

No. 787915

>>787861
After some shitposting over on /fit/ I'm not horny anymore good riddance

No. 787916

I honestly deserve so much better than just being a "maybe" for someone. I deserve so much damn more. He never deserved me. I hope he finds happiness but holy shit, fuck him.

No. 787944

>>787907
I'm not strong enough to leave and yeah. Ill just suffer but I wanna vent

No. 787945

please I don't want to infight
I honestly don't mind my ED coming back, it's kinda recomforting tbh. I hate eating, eating is repulsive to me, and when I'm in ED mode is like, I eat only a handful of foods and don't stuff my face with shit. I honestly feel more disordered when I don't ED eat because it's like I eat every unhealthy thing ever while hating myself.

No. 787947

I'm flying to another state to have an in person interview. I also have to do a sample lesson in class like in front of the actual class. I am freaking out. I just want a simple job. I have like 3 different meetings with different people back to back for this job. I haven't taught a class in idk 5ish years, don't know how to lesson plan, don't even know if what i'm planning is what they're supposed to learn. I'm broke and desperate, but my anxiety is through the roof and im this close to cancelling the appointment. But i will somehow persevere cause i am indeed, broke.

No. 787948

>>787945
Same here, anon. I've been eating pretty healthy lately and it's making me feel so disgusting and unhealthy even though I have more energy. I feel that because I have the energy I must also have enough to store. I hope we both actually get better though

No. 787955

File: 1618969816163.jpg (28.98 KB, 640x480, 1582955241257.jpg)

>be me
>fall for three fucbois last year
>meet a guy i like
>"anon, he's a fuckboi"
>"no, he's not. he's nice and i really like him please"
>get sexual and stuff with him
>today, feeling like shit over some mental stuff
>got some meds changed and it triggered some thoughts about my past suicide attempts
>im not suicidal whatsoever. but the dr knows 4 years ago i was. sometimes he treats me like im still that person. i dont know i just felt stupid and ashamed. i know, i know there was no ill intention and its just me
>dont send the guy i like a message at all cause im feeling about this but also…im like… does he care about me or is it just me trying to make him care? cause most of the time im the one sending him messages and asking him whats wrong when he posts emo shit
>getting kinda late…
>guy i like sends me a message!
>hes saying if theres something wrong!!
>i literally had sent him one message back
>he asked me how i was doing so i was debating in my head what to say cause of course i couldnt talk about the suicide stuff or even the meds
>start typing and deleting shit for some time
>i guess he gets desperate
>send me a picture of his boner before i can even type back how im feeling
>"hahaha not in the mood sorry"
>"oh thats fine im sorry!"
>why do i keep getting my hopes up for people that see me as a fucktoy and nothing else
>cry

inb4 its your fault for being sexual so fast. it is my fault, anons. i was also groomed when i was 5 and my relationship with sex as an adult is very weird and mostly sad and pathetic. im still working on it. just wanted to clarify.

No. 787962

contrary to the aforementioned I have grown to love eating so much but I resent the weight I've gained in the process, it's not continuous but the amount I weighed four years ago was so much more validating to me. the problem is after years of anachan behavior I grew to enjoy eating again, the deprivation took such a toll on me mentally, and now I feel like I'll never be wired to go back to that place unless I'm at the point of external forces pressuring me

right now in quarantine I can't figure out any reason why I would need to look as skinny and as presentable as I want to be, maybe when this shit is over I'll consider eating less. let me be a fat fucking slob (and I'm not even fat, just feel that way)

No. 787966

>>787947
Good luck!

No. 787968

>>787966
thank you anon!! must be my pms or something but i got teary reading your post.

No. 787999

Came into work today and my coworker was being so passive aggressive all day. She chatted me something on the computer then walked out without saying anything when she usually reiterates if she’s leaving the building to go do something (and she would’ve seen that I hadn’t seen the message yet anyway), then she said “(boss’s name), come back here when you get the chance” and I said “are you talking to me? you just called me (boss’s name).” I said it jokingly because another coworker always gets me mixed up with my boss and another coworker and it doesn’t really bother me but I always take a teasing jab at them for it. Then she says “NO, I said (BOSS’S NAME) SAID XYZ, SO COME BACK HERE WHEN YOU HAVE THE CHANCE.” Like uh ok, I didn’t hear you yell part of it over the wall but okay. I thought maybe she was just having an off day but she was chatting it up with other people like normal and just being passive aggressive to me. The most annoying thing was when we were leaving the office and we were about to head out when I saw the trash in the corner so I went to go grab it to take it (which I do if she doesn’t) and put it in the hallway and she just turns off the lights on me, locks the front door, and walks out and lets it shut when she usually waits, especially if she can clearly see I’m grabbing the trash bags two feet from the door. At this point I’m just more mad at myself for letting it weigh on my mind and constantly replaying her actions rather than her actions itself ugh. I haven’t even seen her in three days so wtf.

No. 788010

Becoming paranoid in a long-term relationship is killing me. I don't even know what triggered it. I even looked through his phone (I regret this) and there was nothing. He even has NSFW filtering turned on on his Reddit account. Maybe it's cyclical sabotage.

No. 788031

I got seriously creeped on yesterday evening after leaving a shop after work.
I couldn't get the shopping cart back into the other one's (there where two different kinds of shopping carts…) and this middle aged man offered to help me just to proceed to ask me where I live, where I work and wanted me to take off my mask so he could see my face.
All very smooth but I immediately felt was he was after and didn't give him ANY information. I even walked to the bus with my mask on, he didn't follow me.
After he made clear he wanted me to take off my mask I said "You're really interested in me, hm?" and he kinda stopped hitting on me. Must've startled him.

I'm just so grateful I made it home safe.

No. 788035

Some scrote is posting porn on /snow/

No. 788038

The receptionist at the doctor office I went to was so incredibly bitchy I'm debating changing offices. She got mad at me because my husband's name was difficult to spell for her. She wouldn't give me the pad to just write it down on until she sighed angrily about 4 times and rolled her eyes at least twice.
I just moved here from another state and feel stressed already and this bitchy shit in a medical office (which I've never experienced before) isn't helping. It also didn't help that the nurse said "Is it weird moving here and having no friends?" And after I said yes she was just silent.

Bonus: After asking me which pharmacy I wanted prescriptions sent I had no idea because I don't know the area at all yet.
The nurse had 0 suggestions and kept asking me which streets were closer to my apartment (I didn't know i moved there a week ago and have barely driven)
I ended up "picking" the Walgreens vaguely near my apartment only because I said I thought I saw a Walgreens when I drove 7 hrs from Santa Fe.
And now looking at reviews this is the worst Walgreens on earth.

No. 788039

My depression is hitting hard and I am remembereing how much of a creep autist I am and jesus fuck make it stop I am too weird lol

No. 788042

I have so much internalized misogyny to unlearn, fuck.

No. 788043

>>788038
So call them and have it changed to a different pharmacy

No. 788044

>>788035
reported it, nonnie. thanks for bringing it to attention.

No. 788046

>>788038
I don't get how or why a receptionist (or any employee whose job it is to interact with people) acts this way.
If I were the employer, I'd be super pissed off, that a client would debate changing offices just because Sharon can't sope with professionalism.

No. 788054

>>788046
I really don't understand the extreme bitterness. If you look at reviews of this place all of them are praising the doctors and hating the receptionists. She literally sighed and rolled her eyes at me because the spelling of my husband's name wasn't what she initially thought it was.

Honestly I've never experienced something like this before and I miss just having Kaiser and not having to call random offices that take my insurance.

No. 788061

>>788046
>>788054
She probably just hates her job and takes it out on innocent customers. Eye rolling is rude on another level but I have to admit that when I'm frustrated or miserable (as I often am at work) I can't hide it very well and could probably be ruder than I usually am. But that's why I'd never take a customer facing job where they could actually see my expression.

No. 788085

I'm so tired of this inferiority I feel. I want to look in the mirror, or look at things I create and feel good about them. Instead I feel like whatever I touch becomes doomed

No. 788086

>>788010
>Becoming paranoid in a long-term relationship is killing me.
Do you have any past trauma? Attachment issues? I'm very similar, no problems in the beginning but once thing becomes long term, paranoia kicks in.

No. 788092

I hate being jealous and feeling inferior towards other girls… I know there isn't anything THAT wrong with me, but seeing how effortlessly pretty, desirable, and how socially graceful some girls are makes me feel like shit. Here I am, a mute fly on the wall who tries but can just never measure up in every aspect. In comparison, I'm nothing. I feel worthless.

No. 788121

I'm tired. I don't want to go to work, I just want to sleep. The only thing I'm looking forward to is my paid holidays in a bit more than a month, since everything is closed down because of covid I'll spend these two weeks sleeping at home.

No. 788123

I’ve been batch cooking and trying to eat better but my last batch of chili fucking sucked. It’s technically edible just gross because I fucked up my spice mix. I’ve been eating them anyway because I don’t wanna throw out edible food and now I’m down to my last 4 and I just wanna toss them and make a new batch tonight, because I need to get groceries tonight anyway so I might as well make tonight a cook night. But I feel like if I don’t force myself to eat them I’m being spoiled and I won’t learn my lesson about being careful with the spices.

No. 788127

>>788123
Eat all of it to learn that you shouldn’t eat for pleasure kek

No. 788128

I've reached a point where I'll refuse to do anything in the kitchen if I'm not alone. Any time I let my guard down and try to pour myself something or even eat a sandwich my parents or someone else comments on it "wow, why are you pouring it like that, see, you spilled a bit" or says that I should eat a bigger portion or also put X or Y on my food. Fuck you, I'm the one cleaning up, I'm the one who knows how much I want to eat, and the reason I ever even struggled from an eating disorder and have social anxiety is because of you sharing your useless fucking opinion presented as norms. Let me fucking live as a sloppy person that eats fucking naked pasta for lunch.

No. 788134

>>788128
Oh god I feel this so much. I feel so much anxiety about food I almost hate eating

No. 788136

File: 1619002975917.gif (3.75 MB, 640x360, aaaaaaaaa.gif)

I tried reaching out to my old friends because I miss hanging out with them and I am forgetting my native language, just for them to quietly ghost me.

Is that all because I spent a whole year not having any human contact at all, just to get my life together I do not know. I told everyone about it before I stopped spending time on social media, saying that I will be busy for a long time, and I hope everyone will understand it.

I never had any beef with anyone, our relationship is literally at least 6 year old, and 10 year old at max. I admit I ended up growing a lot faster and more as a person, discovering new things, running from one thing to another, but it hurts to know that they don't want to talk to me without even explaining why.

At the very least, my huge motivation when it comes to drawing is both anger and loneliness, which is why I thankfully can pull off charging a lot for commission. So i guess I will just sit there and keep teaching myself more ways to draw. I don't know. It sucks.

What have I done wrong… I do not know… I thought that all of us were adults and would understand that sometimes life gets in the way… I do not know ifI should even bother reacing out to them again…

No. 788143

>>788136
It's like this sometimes, friendships fall apart, it's nobody's fault. You're just at different place in life. Don't blame them, don't blame yourself, just move on.

No. 788144

>>788136
>ghosts friends for a year
>can't understand why you got ghosted in return

Maybe they were hurt, or maybe their reasons are not personal just like yours were. I'm just confused why you think it's okay for you to distance yourself but not them.

No. 788145

I’m in the middle of an antidepressant switch and I’m so fucking miserable. I have horrible leg cramps and brain zaps and I can’t stop crying. I feel insane. I just want to sleep through this but I can’t even sleep. Why the fuck didn’t I just leave well enough alone

No. 788148

File: 1619005298491.jpeg (326.34 KB, 750x678, 8EFF32CA-2F49-46AB-BD4C-ACA2DB…)

do I have a generational curse or something? it’s almost like no one likes to talk to me even online

No. 788153

>>788144
Anon-chan, I literally mentioned to them that I will not be online for _a year_ or more because I had important IRL things to take care of and in the end no money to pay for the internet. During that time they reacted positively and they understood everything.

No. 788154

One of my best friend from my childhood ghosted me in the middle of the pandemic. He went off on twitter how he hated me for years.

It was hard at first, but I made my peace with it. I realized we both fed off each other shitty behaviors, and it was toxic. Im grateful for the friendship, and im glad we srparated.

It's been nearly a year since then, and hadnt been on my mind until recently. Apparently, he made an anniversary picture celebrating ghosting me? What the hell? How am I supposed to react to this.

No. 788155

>>788148
Same, stay strong, we'll find someone to talk to one day!

No. 788163

>>788148
Me too and I said the same thing. No matter where I go, even online, even church no one will talk to me. Some people start then suddenly one day they give me the cold shoulder or even cut me off completely or give me the silent treatment. When I was younger I figured it was just me, then as I got older and kept assessing the situations I noticed it always happens no matter who or where and started to think I must be cursed because I'm honnestly not any different from any other average person out there. I've decided it's my lesson in this life. I've let it go and I just keep doing my thing, Ive really lowered my expectations of people too. I expect absolutely nothing from anyone, ever.

No. 788164

My bf has started wearing more and more makeup (he's kind of alternative/former emo kid and used to wear a bit of eyeliner and some foundation since he had skin problems) to the point where it's making me fear he'll troon out at some point. I love him, he's literally perfect in any other way and I saw myself marrying him but I can't shake these fears and if we keep dating and he eventually becomes a TiM I will literally off myself

No. 788171

>>788155
I truly hope so anon! Though I’m honest my fearful of socializing with people yet I still want to do so.

>>788163
I have no idea why that happens, it could really fuck up your sense of self. The same thing would happen to me most of the time and I thought I seriously wasn’t real and I was like a phantom walking on earth. I always have to resort to being an asshole in order to get attention online and it really isn’t desirable at all. Maybe our souls just don’t resonate with other people’s? That sounds really cringey because it’s not that deep but I was wondering why. Why am I the pariah I don’t even sincerely do anything super bizarre. Even rats in the dirty New York subway have more friends than me kek

No. 788182

Is it at all possible for the quantity of incompetent, mentally unstable idiots one is forced to interact with to be minimal, or am I naive and idealistic in thinking that it can be helped at all? Everyone is fucking stupid and gets in my way.

No. 788184

File: 1619009574159.jpg (77.16 KB, 1333x1579, 0twdm7fqm6721.jpg)

had a psychiatrist appointment and got diagnosed with depression along with bpd traits (only because i was diagnosed with depression since a preteen and i need to have another full evaluation for bpd). she also said it could be bipolar but i don't have that kind of mania/depression so i don't truly qualify, and i think it's primarily genetic and it doesn't run in my family? i don't know. i feel like a fucking freak, i know there was always something wrong with my mindset but the fact that i hit almost all of the bpd symptoms makes me feel so.. stupid? all i've known about bpd are bad, awful things so the fact that i may have it scares me. it makes so much sense though and i just want to explode.

No. 788186

>>788164
You'll be a brave and stunning lesbian couple uwu
For real though I hate that a lot of scrotes that seem nice tend to troon out and be degenerates.

No. 788187

>>788184
i completely understand, anon. i denied having bpd for ages, then my friends bf, who is a GP diagnosed me without even soliciting it.

it has such bad connotations and reputations that i cant help but feel ashamed of it. but its not really my fault. i am hoping to get an nhs psych appt some time soon

No. 788188

Why can I seduce only men that don't attract me ? I was talking to a new random coworker and we discovered we have a common hobby, I got a little carried away with the conversation and next thing I know he's flirting heavily. This happens all the time where being my normal self brings all the uggos to the yard, meanwhile men I am attracted to always find me awkward and unattractive even when I try to be seductive. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

No. 788199

My bf hurt me during sex last night and didn't stop immediately even when I said STOP and pushed at his body. Afterwards he acted all sad boo boo kitty like he didn't do it on purpose but we've been having sex for 8 years he knows the right and wrong positions that hurt me. I honestly am just kind of done with him. During foreplay I was annoyed/not turned on and when I touched his back it was covered in crusty acne and almost puked and his nails were long like nosferatus and he's morbidly obese. I feel like I'm in ugly bastard porn when he fucks me and my mind is usually elsewhere anyways and then he has the audacity to hurt me too? I told him last night that I should be able to hurt him if he gets to hurt me. I'm in full anger mode. I woke up angry and went immediately to the store and came home. I just want to get drunk today and forget my disgusting life

No. 788202

File: 1619011816611.png (107.58 KB, 350x316, nervous.png)

>>788199
>I touched his back it was covered in crusty acne and almost puked and his nails were long like nosferatus and he's morbidly obese. I feel like I'm in ugly bastard porn when he fucks me and my mind is usually elsewhere anyways
>woke up angry and went immediately to the store and came home
Nonny, what are you doing? You don't even live with this guy, why are you fucking this disgusting pig that also disrespects your boundaries?

No. 788206

File: 1619011978559.jpg (102.65 KB, 592x888, Eb1xY6NWoAIpqSv.jpg)

>>788199
>I touched his back it was covered in crusty acne and almost puked and his nails were long like nosferatus and he's morbidly obese
?????
How did you guys end up together?

No. 788210

File: 1619012241934.jpeg (36.35 KB, 576x575, whatthefuck.jpeg)

>>788199
>you've been fucking nosferatu for EIGHT YEARS

What keeps you from breaking it off, anon?

No. 788211

>>788199
anon, by the difference in your reaction to this situation and mine, it turns out I love you more than you love yourself. Think about that and get it together

No. 788222

>>788199
Why? Were you a homeless orphan that he took out of a street those 8 years ago or what?

No. 788223

I am dating a man who used to be on /b/ and 4chan a lot. That’s the line he feeds me, but he must have been doing something very distasteful for him to react the way he is. He’s changed, and he wants to make sure everyone knows he’s changed. His method for doing this is by being holier than thou about anything he thinks other people would be concerned about, specifically sexism. I am into a game series and he will not shut up about how sexist it is. This annoys me greatly. I’m a woman, why does he feel the need to tell me what I should be offended by? The easy answer is virtue signaling, but I don’t understand why he’s doing it to me. He knows I use lolcow, and will discuss AGPs with me, so it’s very grating to hear him demonstrating his upstanding morals. I get it. You changed.

The thing is— did he though? We got drunk once and he sort of raped me. He probably wouldn’t see it that way, because in his head he is Prince Charming and can do no wrong, but I was too drunk and said no but eventually gave in because he was so insistent. Not very feminist of him. It’s these things that confirm he’s posturing with his morals snd rhetoric— it’s all for show, because he clearly doesn’t respect me. I guess he is more upset by sexism in video games.

No. 788227

>>788199
kill him

No. 788228

>>788223
I'm sorry that happened to you anon. Idk why men who claim to be feminists are always like this. I wish they'd just fuck off and stop trying to understand things they clearly never will. Don't let him get a big head over being a woketard

No. 788231

>>788164
Anon, stop visiting TERF threads, it rots your brain. Trans people are extremely rare, so chance that your boyfriend will turn out to be one is also low. He probably just has body image issues due to aging and not being able to keep his boyish looks.

No. 788232

File: 1619015016839.jpg (705.85 KB, 1501x1980, 433462544067531.jpg)

My GERD is flaring up again. Not only that, this time I have to deal with a lot of built up mold inside my house that's really affecting me. My ex won't stop looking for ways to continue to contact me even after I blocked him on everything. Haven't been really studying as well as I would like because I feel so chronically ill. Dear God, please give me a break, i've been good and I only plan to be good. What should I even do anymore?

No. 788233

He needs someone who is clearly happy fine and dandy all the time
I need someone who can listen and not feel anxious about it

He hurt me so damn much

No. 788237

>>788231
Used to be rare. Trooning out is highly contagious now. Hope anons bf isn’t into vidya or anime…

No. 788242

>>788237
It's still very rare. How many actual transgender people (not gender specials just changing their pronouns) you actually know in real life? Assuming you're not transgender yourself, and hang out with this kind of niche crowd.

No. 788246

>>788231
Transpeople are rare, transtrenders are not. I'm not even a terf or a frequenter in terf/gendercritical/transgenderism-related threads and even I know this. Transgenderism is a very real and present trend.

No. 788248

>>788231
Seeing how anon most likely isn't some basic bitch normie as she's browsing lolcow there's a pretty high chance that she's dating someone who could just as well troon out.

No. 788258

>>788222
Just a run of the mill neet with bad self esteem

No. 788261

>>788231
It's not like you can predict who'll troon out, even if it's rare. A bunch of women were blindsided with guys suddenly presenting a crossdressing fetish going into full-blown AGP.

No. 788263

>>788199
Girl yous a victim

No. 788266

File: 1619018600073.jpeg (62.61 KB, 400x400, 4C127013-B197-4961-8F76-096387…)

I’m so fucking tired of handmaidens and the state of derby. I get it, I’ve been there, I know what is going through your head and I get why you think it makes sense. But it fucking doesn’t. By principle I try to prioritize interaction with female owned businesses but when I’m looking at a site and they have tranny flag laces for a women’s sport it’s just funny. They don’t sell lesbian or bi flag laces either(not that I’d want them to, advertising that way in this sport would be weird imo), which makes sense because they’re sexualities, but aren’t they supposed to be a package deal? This shit is retarded. Obviously TIFs exist but they don’t even make sense— it’s a women’s team, not mixed sex. If these women are supposed to be male, why play on a women’s fucking team? What bothers me the most is how clearly superficial the pandering is. TIM troons are even less common and switch teams constantly because the truth is nobody cares for their crusty scrote asses and they’re shitty players to begin with. But we have to put on a fucking front because the sport is on a decline and new recruits are almost never well-adjusted normies now. It’s so retarded and I can’t express how stupid it is anymore. At least with TIFs you know they’re still women, but it’s tiring having to pretend they’re the gender they say they are because women in a women’s sport want to feel special. They’re an extreme minority too, so again the effort by the leagues and shops is ridiculous. If you complain to the captain or coach privately 9.9/10 times they will agree with you, .1 times they’re okay with it because it’s an excuse to allow a girl on steroids to play. Either way you’ll be the one in trouble if you say something publicly. The absolute state of derby.

>>788246
NTA You’re right they’re statistically rare but they’re all trenders, and anon’s bf could easily fall down the rabbit hole depending on the kind of people he surrounds themselves with, both publicly and privately. I don’t think her fear is completely unjustified depending on that. >>788164 I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. If he hasn’t said anything akin to his “femininity” or crossdressing then you can assume it’s just makeup. I know people like to avoid stirring the pot in this situation but if you two are really so great together then you shouldn’t fear asking him what he feels about it. If it sounds suspicious enough (AGP) then at least you know.

No. 788268

>>788199
what keeps you in this relationship?

No. 788273

>>788266
I feel you anon. I did derby from 12-20 and have loved roller skating. Took a 5 year break to just rollerskate around and thought about going back to it a few years ago. Derby and rollerskating is overrun with TIMs in my area (maybe because it's a hyper progressive city) and it sucks to see something that was, even pretty recently, a women's thing turn into a political thing overrun with people who are gender special. Our national team has had TIM players on it for a few years. It's the same with the roller skating "community" here too. I just wanna skate with some cool ladies. It's nice to see someone else with similar frustrations. I'm sure it got worse with the pandemic and rollerskating blowing up.

No. 788280

File: 1619020138054.jpeg (615.7 KB, 750x936, 1618109682105.jpeg)

>>787955

maybe i misjudged because sometimes im the one that starts sexting. he just tried sexting when i wasnt in the mood, and didnt push or anything. he apologized instead but i completely left him on seen and did something else cause i was sad. ignored him all day. from what he said a week ago, he only really talks to his mom and me. which i wasnt sure, but he has 70 facebook friends and posts shit all the time and no one reacts to it so i am truly questioning if he has friends or not. like i said i didnt reply to his apology and just stopped talking to himself all together.

when i was back in facebook he had a bunch of whiny posts on his wall. he ALWAYS posts the cringiest shit in his wall and no one ever reacts
>"cant fucking sleep… im so tired… i just want love… im so sick and tired."
>"i feel so alone"
>always had the vibe he was autistic and the fact he keeps posting whiny shit publicly to me kinda confirms it.

No. 788282

>>788199
Unless you have no where else to go, get rid of him. You need to make space in your life for more self-love and after that, someone better. Yuck.

No. 788286

>>788258
anon, I second >>788282. You deserve better!

No. 788289

is there a Chrome setting or extension that lets me block certain videos from being played??? my coworker puts on the SAME STUPID JAZZ COMPILATION EVERY DAY and i swear i will snap if i have to hear it one more time. he just left and i finally turned it off

No. 788316

Ahhh I hate fucking group uni presentations.. everyone is so posh and hot I don't want to turn my camera on with these nothing-has-ever-gone-wrong-for-me-in-my-life bitches it's so stressful

No. 788319

I used to be head over heels in love with my bf. We've been together for four years now, and I'm barely attracted to him anymore. We have sex once a week or so, and I do that just to please him, I don't enjoy it anymore at all because the medication I'm on has eradicated my sex drive. I recently had to kick him out of our apartment because he has been unemployed for over a year. We are 25 years old, I want to start our adult lives together and settle down. But he's basically living like a bum right now and concerns expressed from me or family members just don't phase him because he thinks we are just being judgmental. He hasn't worked in over a year and he hasn't gone to school in 3 years. What does our future hold for us? Because right now it looks like I will be pulling all the financial weight and having to submit myself to my overgrown child of a bf to keep him from whining. It's very hard for me to be affectionate or sexual when he is doing literally nothing to improve his life or to prove to me he can provide for a family in the future, let alone himself. He is also completely consumed by insecurity, I am sure I'm not helping but I can't help that it's turning me off so much. When he tries to be physically intimate with me, his insecurity is so apparent, his body language is so feminine and second-guessing. It repulses me and I feel awful about it. I miss my old bf that was a hard-working, motivated young man with a bright future ahead of him. I don't see any of that anymore. I know deep down he's an amazing person, but if he doesn't get his shit together soon, I don't think I can keep doing this. I feel like I'm on the verge of breaking up with him. I'm dreading it because he is going to have a complete mental breakdown and I will be completely alone after that bc I don't really have friends.

No. 788323

I have to spend 2 grand before my stupid fucking insurance will help? Fuck this system

No. 788324

>>788319
still have more shit to say lol
I'm repulsed by him right now because he is so obsessed with me. He idealizes me and I hate it. He throws 100 compliments a day at me, I am literally tired of saying "thank you." It feels like he's kissing my ass in a desperate attempt to make me affectionate towards him again, but I don't know how many times I've made it clear that what would make me happy is him getting his shit together and making something of his life. Supposedly, OUR life. He wants us to be together forever, get married, have a family but he's doing absolutely nothing to make that happen, does he not realize how selfish it is to expect these things with me and contribute nothing to realize these goals? I don't like being obsessed over. 1 or 2 compliments a day instead of 30 would be good. Getting a fucking job would be good. He is so overbearing and suffocating me. I'm smothered.
I know I sound like a bitch right now… I'm not. I just don't want a relationship that is mostly my boyfriend kissing my ass and expecting tons of intimacy and sex from me and nothing else. We are adults, I have goals and I don't want to live a bum life with him.

No. 788325

>>788289
Just tell him it's annoying

No. 788341

File: 1619026314661.gif (2.87 MB, 480x352, DF7DF395-621C-4573-B3E7-DABF09…)

I made an offhand comment in my all-girls group chat about how sometimes I masturbate and it’s anticlimactic (we’re tmi with each other like that), and two of my friends were like “can’t relate, I don’t really masturbate bc I don’t cum from it” and I thought, eh, ok, maybe because they both have boyfriends currently? Then they went on to talk about how even sex with their boyfriends doesn’t make them cum. What??? How is it possible that nothing gets them off? They’re not even the first women I’ve heard of being “unable” to. I didn’t press them on the subject because I’m not a creep, but honestly I feel kind of… upset on their behalf lol. I wonder if it’s a matter of women not quite knowing themselves/their bodies well enough?

No. 788345


No. 788347

>>788341
wtf how old are you anon this sounds like some shit from the 50s how are these women functioning I get retarded if I haven't had an orgasm in a week

No. 788350

>>788341
reminds me of how I thought I was gonna be a permavirgin so I read tons of online "literature" about how to perform sexually and it worked out in the sense that I know techniques. sounds basic but someone I know told me I was the first person to crook my fingers while inside her to stimulate the g-spot as if the most basic fingering technique was revolutionary. I pity the girl.

No. 788353

>>788319
>>788324
These are so hard to read. Your boyfriend clearly has issues, you say he was doing ok when you met, did something happen? How did he lose his job? Is it possible that something traumatic you don't know of occured?
He definitely needs therapy, and while normally people with issues benefit from their partner support while they work out their problems, it will be better for you both if you leave him. There's so much disgust and pity in your words, while he seems to clearly notice it and desperately try to cling to you, what repulses you even more, it only sinks his self esteem further. You loved him, tell him that, tell him you see a potential in him he has to work on, but without you; because if these posts weren't written in some blind irrational rage and these are your conscious, constant thoughts about him, there's nothing to salvage here.

No. 788354

>>788345
KEKKK anon you got me

>>788347
We’re in our goddamn 20s! But to give some context, both of them have been with their current bfs since college. I have a bad feeling it’s more about commitment/comfort as this point

>>788350
Poor girl, but congrats on escaping permavirginity, anon

No. 788363

>>788316
Just say your camera doesn't work lol

No. 788371

>>788038
Unless that doctor is really worth it, just change offices. I switched my OBGYN because the receptionist was super fucking rude to me. I've never looked back and the new place I go to has an even better OBGYN and the staff are all very friendly (or even when they're a little stand offish, I'll take that over just being straight up rude).

No. 788381

He never fucking deserved me. I fucking hate him now. Manipulative monster.

No. 788384

I fucking hate you, I hope you die, I hope you fucking die alone.

No. 788389

>>788121
Today was really a shitty day, even one of my coworkers was trying not to cry. I'm gonna take a warm shower and sleep.

No. 788391

So i blocked my ex sometime near the end of 2019. Had an Instagram that i didnt really use but deleted it. Made another one sometime last year, probably in the summer. And it just randomly suggested my ex for me to follow. Like i know instagram can probably access your contacts but he hasnt been in my contacts for over a year so?? And its not because of mutuals or anything because i dont follow anyone i know in real life. I want to look at his profile but im scared that ill find out he has a new gf or something

No. 788393

>>788341
Yep, my ex-best friend was like this. She never masturbated because it felt wrong to her, but never had an orgasm with her boyfriend either. What especially shocked me was is that when we were talking about other bedroom stuff, she implied that she doesn't even know what or where the clitoris is

No. 788396

>>788391
You've probably exchanged mails with your ex, instagram would often suggest you to follow people you've connected with through email you used to create your account. Could it be that?

No. 788423

File: 1619037446809.jpeg (86.58 KB, 500x357, 1A21CC52-A6A0-4D4B-8D95-3672F4…)

i feel incredibly detached from the world. am I even human anymore lol

No. 788426

I never had a chance to be anything but an outcast and I feel like my childhood experiences of abuse and neglect damned me to be alone.

No. 788442

File: 1619039262680.jpg (64.71 KB, 750x740, mood-memes-memes-depressed-Fav…)

My sister joined me for lockdown and i was so happy because i love her but it's been almost a month now and while i tried to lose weight (vegan and pratically only fresh food) i ended up GAINING while my sister who is skinny fat bought easter chocolat and ate it in her bed for a week straight and she LOST weight.
Is my karma so bad ? i really wanted to scream and be angry at someone but it's not even her fault, i'm just miserable by my own fault

No. 788449

I'm sad that saidit is down. BPF was the only sane place on the internet when it came to anything feminism related. I really hope it gets up and running again.

No. 788450

>>788442
Idk your situation well but could it be she doesnt eat anything but that? People think I eat a shit load but I only eat small amounts of a lot of foods and usually only 1-2 meals worth. I gained weight when I was making my own food but lost 10lb the past month due to anxiety limiting me to only 1ish meals a day that I assumed where enough because they were pre-made unhealthy shit. It was all just bad snacking but somehow I dropped instead of gain from it.

No. 788460

He did the worst he could do to me
Goodbye, I hope you die

No. 788465

>>788450
100 % i have a portion problem, i ate 3 meals worth of turnips for dinner but the worse is that she will eat my meals with me because she only cooks pasta (but stops after 3 spoons when i will get a second plate)
i think my main problem is that i'm bored and pratically always at home so i eat to occupy myself
i have musilms friends who lost weight while fasting, i should try with them i guess

No. 788477

I'm so tired of having ADHD I wish I could just plan things and then do them what the fuck

No. 788479

>>788465
NTA but have you tried drinking water a little while before eating? It's supposed to help you feel more full.

No. 788486

>>788479
it's the kind of things i know i should do but never end up doing
fuck, i realized i didn't actually put as much efforts into it as i like to pretend, i really need to get it together

No. 788493

>>788396
I dont think so, i dont remember sharing emails with him

But it also suggested me a manager at my work whom i have never texted. Idk man, instagram is creepy

No. 788499

Why do companies have to ruin things that were already good. I can't use youtube's search function to find shit. Theres a section in between called for you or something and then half the results are the same video repeating or not even relevant. How is it that a couple years back i could search random words i remembered from a video and find it but now i search the title word for word and cant find it unless its already a popular video. Im here to watch obscure/new youtubers and find new vids. Not to mention the youtube mix is all fucky and none of the songs are even similar to each other in vibe. I think im just angry that youtube hasnt been recommending me good new music for a while and thats mostly what i used to use it for.

No. 788500

I miss being able to drive, lift things above my head, shower without assistance/taking 3x longer, walking for long periods of time, not sleeping in a chair. Don’t get hit by a car and break your humerus anons. At least this is temporary.

No. 788501

>>788465
Look at your macros and you will probably find that you are eating too many carbs. Weight loss is more complicated than just CICO. When you eat carbohydrate your body will quickly turn it into glucose. If you don't burn off that glucose as energy it gets stored as fat. If you're vegan try adding beans, nuts and lentils to meals for more protein. There's also low calorie, low carb vegetables such as mushrooms, cucumber and zucchini.

>>788499
If you've got the money to spend you could try a Spotify subscription. I've found so much good music through their recommendations.

No. 788506

>>788500
Lots of strength to you, anon. That shit fucking sucks, I didn't break my humerus but something different and was bored/in pain for 2 years. Now that I am kinda better, it's a pandemic kek

No. 788509

I have such a weird reaction to people's anger. When someone acts out their anger, it's like they're shitting in front of me: I get embarrassed for them and me, annoyed that they have to do it in my space and ruin my mood, and I think they're pathetic for not being able to control themselves. Like you have to come and take a shit on my bed because your email wouldn't send? What the fuck is wrong with you. It's such a waste of energy and it's so inconsiderate and inappropriate.
Yes I'm irritated by this, but I think that's different to being fully angry, and I count on one hand the amount of times I have been fully angry, because I had good reason to be. Somebody flipping out because they can't put together ikea furniture is stupid and ugly. You can always choose not to be angry, it doesn't fix anything.

No. 788511

>>788341
>tfw don't have a bf and still never coomed

No. 788512

File: 1619046858127.jpg (15.43 KB, 346x360, ab6239024f15022185527618f541f4…)

I'm so exhausted, this mentally unstable woman in my workplace/community has been obsessing and targeting me as her new bestie and is forcing a one-sided friendship upon me.
Shes has a history with making a lot of people in the same community uncomfortable, flirting with peoples partners and befriending groomers.
Last weekend she kept making romantic implications towards my partner so I had to set a boundary with her and she made a public spectacle of loud sobbing but she left me alone for the rest of the day.
Afterwards she kept looking for my attention on all my social medias by sending constant DMs and replying to all my stories

There's an event this weekend I have to attend and she'll be there too, I'm so uncomfortable with how things are going to turn out. wish me luck anons

No. 788513

my kitten is going through that phase of aggression, stubbornness, and curiosity and omfg this is too much for me right now because i'm on currently on my period. i almost cried because he was bored and attacked my calve. thankfully he has a toy and we have older cats that tire him out but he still goes to me for playtime when i wanna relax, especially right now lmao.

No. 788514

>>788512
fuck, i know a classmate like that. just remeber you don't owe her anything and if she's already known to be a weirdo, avoiding her won't make you seem like a jerk.
good luck anon

No. 788539

File: 1619052270470.png (417.76 KB, 374x578, 57643504385670346543.png)

Every time I start feeling like I have my shit together I relapse into not knowing what I'm doing or why I'm bothering. This is exhausting.

No. 788557

File: 1619054755573.jpeg (67.3 KB, 1000x750, 40C37B67-E88A-4065-A943-687D33…)

Maybe my boss is mad at me, I asked for a night off I normally work on to see a movie. They said it was fine if I could open, I agreed and it turns out they scheduled me to work almost ten hours. I’ve been thinking about going another day because I’ll probably feel like garbage going to the theater at night after a shift like that. I hate that I can never ask for anything at work when it always turns into a monkey paw situation.

No. 788560

File: 1619055196491.jpg (191.79 KB, 1242x875, 13245509875.jpg)

the more i post here the more lonely and depressed i feel cuz i only get 1 or 2 replies a week. they're not even long or complicated posts either. idk why it's now suddenly bothering me. i wonder if i should start baiting or spam dump my favorite gay anime porn but that's against the rurus and my husbando and ships aren't popular anyway so nobody would care.

No. 788561

I have work in five hours and I'm so tired but I just don't want to go to sleep at all
I know this is childish but I don't want it to be tomorrow so div, I refuse to sleep!

No. 788562

>>788560
you need someone to vent to anon? Maybe you don't get much replies because this thread gets a whole lot of replies daily. Don't dwell on it too much I used to think the same when I'd get no replies lmao

No. 788563

>>788562
i didn't mean this thread specifically but throughout the site in general

No. 788568

File: 1619056656155.png (280.26 KB, 500x281, 83E24470-6453-4ABF-91AA-02A297…)

I hate being so parasocial. If I don’t have a crush on someone in real life I find some internet rando to latch onto. Currently I’m obsessed with some streamer who I’ll never meet because he reminds me of one of my exes. I wish I could be normal and learn to just exist without needing to be in a relationship but it’s hard. I want to love and be loved so bad but then I start dating people and feel trapped. I don’t feel like I fully connect with most people either.

No. 788574

>>788560
youre always welcome to post screenshots in the bl thread and post on the shipping/husbando thread. i dont respond much in those but i always peep in and read over the posts for some recommendations. would love to hear yours.

No. 788585

>>788574
i'm in no position to rec things tbh, most of what i like are shounenshit pairings. though i did post once and at least one nonnie liked my taste. i have more art but don't want to look like i'm shitting up the threads with the same characters. half of what i saved is 2lewd anyway so jannies will probably delete it in seconds.

No. 788589

>>788585
if its in media, you can usually get away with lewds as long as its not a video and its spoilered. just post a pic once in a while kek. That's what I would do if I had a stash of smexy fanart I wanted to share.

No. 788599

Managed to piss myself off by watching some male atheist youtuber thinking his videos were gonna be all about debating religion, but then I got to videos where he started to harass (oh sorry–"debate") women during feminism-related activities. He even segway'd up to two very nice people advocating for believing rape victims and his argument was basically "YOU NEED PROOF. WHAT ABOUT FALSE ACCUSATIONS? WHY DONT THEY GO TO THE POLICE?" I hate this fucking tool, and his male fanbase applauding him for "muh logic" while the women act non-confrontational and distant because-shockingly-most women are intimidated by a 6' dude rolling up to them on a hoverboard seemingly agitated about their cause. Most dudes who spout this shit are trolls, so why would any woman take this shit seriously from some agitated loner who's got a camera pointed at them for a reaction? They're not fucking stupid unlike this moid.

No. 788616

I have essentially been turned asexual from my birth control. It's been this way for at least a year, probably two. I don't think any doctor will give a shit because they all believe I need to be on it because I have PCOS. I'm not even overweight and they always tell me my hormones aren't even out of whack. I just want to be off this awful medication, but no doctor will let me.

No. 788632

male fitness and bodybuilder youtubers are obnoxious and narcissistic but some female ones make me wanna commit seppuku
>are you worried you’re going to look like a disgusting roided up barbarian if you lift? don’t be! you’ll still look cute and feminine. men totes love muscle
>now we’re gonna measure my waist and butt uwu
>something something cellulite
>let me just stick out my butt in every thumbnail. work those glutes sis!
fuck off just tell me how to get ripped

No. 788635

>>788560
>my husbando and ships aren't popular anyway so nobody would care.
Having unpopular husbandos is suffering

No. 788638

I posted this in /g/ but it's a vent more than anything else. I cannot cope with my low self esteem while in a relationship with my boyfriend. I am able to get through life without thinking about it most of the time but it cripples me in certain situations. For example I can't enjoy sex to the fullest extent because I hate my face so much and I don't want him looking at it in that moment especially. It doesn't really help that he doesn't give me compliments much, he's never said "you're beautiful" or anything like that to me spontaneously as much as I can recall. Sometimes I just want to break up because I can't deal with the shame I feel when I start overthinking my appearance. I tried to speak to him about it at length once in the past, but he didn't really seem to entertain it in the way one might expect. He said all this stuff about how I shouldn't place so much weight on my appearance and suggested ways I could alter my line of thinking but at the end of it he didn't seem to want to actually compliment me more and stuff. After that the idea of actually asking for compliments would not only be redundant but a bit of a low point. Actually having to ask for compliments… it makes me feel like he too actually doesn't find attractive all the things I don't think are attractive.

No. 788644

>>788632
It's sad that exactly this type of women often have a big following so the bs get spread more.

No. 788646

>>788616
Just stop taking it

No. 788650

>>788341
Most women aren't exactly encouraged to explore their bodies and sexual preferences. I'm 30 and even now it feels weird to hear other women talk about masturbating because it's something everyone grew up thinking they were the only one to do it. It's stupid, a lot of women settle for shit sex out of their sense of duty because they just assume sex isn't supposed to be pleasurable to them.

No. 788658

File: 1619074873889.jpg (7.5 KB, 355x360, HUFTvgF.jpg)

>Be me
>In this Discord server
>Person takes interest in a childhood cartoon
>Get happy
>Tell him to have fun
>Fastforward a couple days later
>He talks about the cartoon in the server
>"Something, something, problematic" "Something, something trans coded" "Something, something, pronouns"
>Mfw

No. 788665

>>788632
>fitness youtuber
>tell me how to get ripped
They give you a 30min floor routine while in their ~day in life of uwu~ videos show that they spend hours lifting in the gym kek

No. 788668

>>788650
Not so sure about younger women anon. Me and my friends freely talk about having sex, masturbating and toys, what we like in bed or if our experiences were normal etc. I'm 21 tho.

No. 788671

>join discord for retarded niche vidya
>climate is early 90s gaming culture where women are met with derision and 500 autistic scrotes want to use you as a practice GF
>don’t let on that I’m a woman
>friend outs me by accident, now a tranny has latched on
>trying to send me futa porn and asks me personal questions
>”haha we could have our own gamergirl clique, I’ll help you get good”
>no we won’t, you’re a man.

God damn, just fuck off.

No. 788700

>>787782
Happy birthday!! I hope you're having a good day

No. 788702

Unrequited love hurts. I wish I had someone to talk about what I'm going through

No. 788710

Why did my ex have to be an addict and a questionable sexuality. He was so fine.

No. 788720

The tear duct in my left eye has been hard and sore for days now. I don't know why and what to do with it. I don't have any other symptoms but it just hurts

No. 788721

>>788341
I remember thinking I couldn't orgasm even though I started masturbating at a young age, because I didnt really understand what or where the clit was. When I heard about multiple orgasms and how men ejaculate and women dont, I just assumed womens orgasm didnt really have a climax? like if mens orgasms were a sneeze, a womens is like a yawn? I soon learned the truth when I actually discovered the clit. But its shocking and sad many of my friends admitted to never masturbating at all.

No. 788760

My boyfriend and I had an argument yesterday, which involved him saying some harsh things about me and my behaviour. He hit a lot of my insecurities and needless to say his words hurt me a lot, even though I deserved them. The problem now is that it's been completely on my mind and I just want to be left alone to think. He is getting annoyed about that, in a 'I shouldn't be punished for saying how I feel' way. I understand where he's coming from, but I don't feel it's fair to expect me to just brush off the things he said to me and pretend to be unbothered. I don't know…has anyone experienced this? Am I being unfair?

No. 788761

>>788760
You're being reasonable. If he confronted you with some hard truths in his opinion or whatever and he was annoyed then why would you be able to digest it and handle it within a few hours. Just tell him you're reflecting or some bullshit and if he pushes the point tell him he's toxic lol (maybe don't idk)

No. 788762

>Tired of being constantly broke while working a casual job as a waitress
>Tired of dealing with 2 neurological disorders that went undiagnosed until a few years ago because parents couldn't be arsed actually with y'know parenting
>Tired of paying the regular medical bills that came with said lacking of parenting
>Tired of trying to get my shit together with said disorders
>Tired of hearing "eVeRyOnE fEeLs tHaT wAy" and "yOu'Re jUsT lOoKiNg fOr eXcUsEs" from neurotypical people
>Tired of looking at my neurotypical friends stable cozy life living with their gf/bf they met years ago at school and I get to look at the mediocre cesspool of online dating if I feel desperate enough
>Tired of my lizard brain that screams for online shopping because that's my only measly source of serotonin
>Tired that no matter how much I sleep it never feels enough
>Tired that it doesn't matter how much I do and how hard I try there's always shit that's overdue and something I should've done better in
>I'm tired of being tired

No. 788770

>>788658
Was it Ranma?

No. 788772

>>788762
>Tired of looking at my neurotypical friends stable cozy life living with their gf/bf they met years ago at school
I'm not neurological or whatever but I feel this one so hard.

No. 788776

>>788762
Oh boy I feel this so hard.

No. 788781

>>788770
No, it was El Tigre, the mexican Nickelodeon cartoon.

No. 788787

File: 1619096698340.jpeg (235.63 KB, 887x900, 490002A0-A7CF-4451-B962-F8FDBE…)

Whenever I have no weed I just want to die. I don’t bother showering, getting out of bed or even brushing my teeth. I feel so bored and listless and I have no interests in anything. Call me pathetic but I’ve been smoking daily for 11 years and when I don’t have it I want to fucking die. I’m also a borderline alcoholic.

I want to move in with my grandfather and help him care for my ailing grandmother because I love them both so much and they are currently suffering, my grandfather is depressed because he is lonely and only has my senile grandmother for company and she’s in extreme pain all the time. He doesn’t even care if I pay rent or help him, all he wants is company. He says I cheer him up just by being there.

They live in the middle of nowhere, beautiful English countryside…no fucking weed anywhere, nobody under the age of 40+ for miles. How can I do this while I’m still pathetically addicted to weed? I just want to be a good person and make them proud.

No. 788793

>>788787
Anon i love and understand you. i have the exact same problem i can’t even be remotely happy without weed. i send you best wishes

No. 788809

Class is so boring. I finish work earlier than all my retard classmates, but even though she knows this my teacher won't let me go home early. My bus ride is an hour long which doesn't help.

No. 788810

>>788793
Sending you love and understanding right back Nonita. I really want to give up this retarded habit, save money and get my life together.
I’m thinking about creating a drug addiction thread on lolcow, as there’s already an alcoholic one.

No. 788837

I think he never loved me and hes not coming back

No. 788845

>>788837
I relate to this. It was years ago and I never fully healed. I try to remember all the times he treated me like shit to get over it but that just brings me back to thinking how there probably was never a point that he loved me. And then I feel worse.

No. 788847

I told someone that I was worried about a friend who is from India because they had are having a really bad time with coronavirus right now. In response, she tells me that India has been doing better than the US and they have had far fewer cases. I have no idea why some people are so broke brained that they need to find every opportunity to rail on the US.

No. 788849

>>788787
Sounds like you were given a chance to escape weed cold-turkey while getting to spend your time in a meaningful way. Do it.

No. 788851

guys my bf is a complete ass to anyone who isn't me, his family, or his friends–particularly customer service people. IT'S SO BAD. i guess we were just raised differently because i'm extremely non-confrontational and cool headed

he's had to make a lot of calls lately to a customer service line to get something sorted out and he's been so mean to every person. i'm like! no! that's not how you get somebody to help you! it's not their fault! stop! but i don't say anything 'cuz i'm a little bitch

No. 788856

>>788851
Anon, how old are you…!!
I feel horrible for you, because there's barely any chance he would actually stop being an ass towards poor workers. People like him really need to try working as a custom service support or in retail. Whenever someone acts like a bitch towards, lets say, baristas, I raise a major red flag because i used to have a part-time job as a waitress in a the middle of a huge city, and it was hell.

No. 788860

>>788851
someday he'll treat you the same way. when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

No. 788861

>>788847
Is she American? She sounds unbearable.

No. 788864

>>788845
Hang in there sis, scrotes aint shit.

No. 788865

>>788851
It's no ones fault but yours if you're too scared to speak up in a relationship you choose to be in

No. 788866

>>788851
What a fucking dick.

No. 788868

I think he deserves a good woman and I deserve to end up alone because no one was better than him to me at some point

No. 788869

many things to vent about but ill focus on one bothering me a lot lately. ex treated me like fucktoy and insulted me everytime he could. one day i texted a friend he doesnt like, but he had never told me he didnt liked her. and when he checked my phone to see who i was talking to he started yelling to my face:

>"you ugly fucking stupid whore. you do realize im the best youre going to get? im out of your fucking league. you should be fucking thankful i gave your ugly ass a chance. shut the fuck up. i dont want you talking to (close friend). you are a goddamn idiot, you and your stupid ugly fucking hair (i dyed it a shade he wanted me to). i could make fun off your looks all day long. but do i? you should be fucking thankful. youre never going to get someone better than me."


i cried for so much over this and the words still hurt me to this day. there were worse thing though, just the one at the top of my head. he was handsome, tall, an engineer, confident, funny. sometimes i tell myself, he's right. i should beg for his forgiveness… but i always stop, cause all my friends and family know he's abusive and would never let it happen. but god, i have daydreams, sometimes legit dreams sometimes about getting back with him even… it hurts.

No. 788870

>>788851
>i'm like! no! that's not how you get somebody to help you! it's not their fault! stop!
Ime being angry is the only way to get shit sorted out with stubborn customer services and companies who don't give a shit. As someone who has been walked over all the time for being too nice, being nice is overrated.

No. 788871

I feel like shit

No. 788874

>>788787
I've also been a daily smoker for over a decade. I haven't smoked in 5 days now and I've been going through withdrawal. I was prescribed marijuana for my mental health issues, but I want to stop smoking because it's not good for my health in the long run. I would cough up black mucus after every toke. I would need to take a hit before doing pretty much anything. I was at the point where I was wake-and-baking almost every day. I had such bad brain fog that I would lose my train of thought mid-sentence. my tolerance got so high that it no longer affected me in the same way; I was smoking just to feel normal.

I've quit smoking cigarettes before, and it was way easier than quitting weed. in withdrawal, I have no appetite. I can barely manage to eat one meal per day. at night, my dreams are vivid. I've been on an emotional rollercoaster. I've had suicidal thoughts. but I know that I'm doing what's best for me. I don't want to be a stoner anymore. I want to be able to travel someday without worrying about getting my next fix. I want to be able to function like a normal person and achieve my goals. I'm already starting to feel a bit better. I think the first few days are the worst. I can relate to your struggle and I'm wishing you the best. both of my grandfathers are dead and I urge you to spend time with yours while you still can.

No. 788875

There is only an outsider art culture in my city, so the best art looks like Luna's art on here and it pisses me off. You shouldn't be rewarded for breaking the art rules that you can't comprehend/didn't even look into. For example, one person buys hundreds of ceramic dollarama gnomes and paints them all to be tranny bearded ladies. She's a mentally disabled black woman in a wheel chair, so I imagine that's why everyone is thirsty to share her "art" around and support it. Which is nice, but goddamn is the "art" around here difficult to fucking look at. They also let ANYBODY do murals here, so downtown looks like an autistic man's sketchbook. The whole city looks like Peggy Hill did all the installations.

Art is the only area of work where you don't have to be good at it because it's a participation award show. Someone who doesn't know math wouldn't be a celebrated accountant but someone bad at art could be celebrated for "persevering". Fucking yikes.

No. 788880

>>788870
You should start out as cordial and persuasive, and only ever escalate to insistence and being firm. Anger is overrated when it isn't necessary to still get the things you want. Someone will try to accommodate you if you make it clear you're not just going to go away. Angry people don't get what they want because they're angry, they get it cause they won't fucking leave. The anger part runs the risk of getting shut down or someone not offering you the best of what you could have gotten because they think you're a dick.

No. 788885

File: 1619104708097.jpg (33.08 KB, 464x464, 1615766171423.jpg)

I just gathered that my obsessive hand washing started because of the swine flu epidemic when we had all of those signs telling us to wash our hands before entering and exiting a class. It lasted for at least 5 years. Teens of today have wild, chapped times ahead of them.

No. 788889

>>788875
This post is hilarious, in my city they have actually kinda nice, mainly nature themed or light based art installations but murals are almost always ghastly. I can see why that would piss someone off. also wanna add a nitpick of accountants not having to be good at math, I need next to no math in my daily job

No. 788893

>>788870
I worked customer service for an annoying company for so many years. Sometimes things were out of your hands but when you had a genuine or sincere person you felt more inclined to help. Not saying the more aggressive types didn't get shit handled too. It was annoying. There's probably more assholes that get knocked back than successful ones but still. Best tactic I learnt over the years is if someone is venting just let them run out of steam 9/10 you can do a bit of file up keeping while they moan and they'll usually apologise and thank you for listening.

No. 788894

>>788875
I don't really care but math is obective when art is subjective so can you even draw a comparison between the two?

No. 788895

>>788874
I’m so sorry for that, that’s kinda fucked up that they would prescribe it for mental health. Physical health and pain, yes, as well as seizure conditions, but to treat mental health? That’s bonkers.
I just made a weed addict thread. I don’t know how active it will be but you’re free to share anything you like, tips or vents or resources etc >>180800

No. 788897

>>788646
Got an okay from a professional to stop taking it for 6 months. Yay.

No. 788901

Reading any relationship advice shit just triggers me lately, women are conditioned to put up with so much shit. I was reading some sex advice forum with a woman asking what she can do about her bf going soft during sex, and how he coerces her to do it without a condom because “he can’t feel anything” and most of the comments are just telling her to go on birth control. Nobody was even acknowledging what shitty abusive behavior the bf was doing, just blaming the mean op for decreasing her bf’s ~sensitivity~ with evil old condoms. Clown world indeed.

No. 788903

File: 1619106307453.jpg (52.59 KB, 720x255, 20210422_174455.jpg)


No. 788904

>>788894
in my anger I used a bad comparison. What would be better? I guess it's like someone who can't play most of the notes on a flute being celebrated alongside something like Jethro Tull because they're both allowed to be considered musicians here. I'm just upset that in other cultures and languages, there are definitive words for someone who is a hobbyist versus someone who is well respected and celebrated by the masses. Here, if your amputated nub can be taped to a pencil crayon, you could be doing murals for the mayor's office or a new hospital regardless of skill or public recognition. It honest to god reminds me of that King of the Hill episode about how little the city cares about art installations. I don't think art should be a big, autistic participation-award show but I'm pissed that it is.

No. 788918

>>788861
Yeah we're both American, and she's really into BLM stuff. But when it's brown people in another country dying of COVID, it doesn't matter. Low key kinda racist, imo.

I don't think my friend will die, but he lives in Delhi which is being hit super bad right now. I think his grandparents or even parents might be at risk.

No. 788928

File: 1619108615936.jpg (35.04 KB, 930x694, 2553.jpg)

I hate being a sexual object.

i was groomed and molested during my childhood by a family member i loved. i didnt understand what he had done and didnt tell my parents cause i loved him. my relationship with sex has been fucked from the very start. in the last six months, ive been used sexually by seven different people. not always penetration, sometimes just sexting and nudes. but i cant say no to anyone. i feel afraid, and i tell myself: this is how this works, this is how it works, this is how you get love. ive had so many sexual encounters i didnt want to have, but said yes every single time. i cant say no, mentally i feel like i cant do it. i was sexually assaulted while i was high last year and even he said, "you said yes at the time." and i believe him.

ive never said no to sex in my entire life. so i keep being used sexually by people who feel nothing for me. with the dumb fantasy, "this is what love is, this is how you become loved" that the grooming did to me. but in matter of weeks im thrown away and forgotten completely. seven times, six months. i keep doing the same shit. but never learn. i hate myself. i hate being a sexual object to people and refusing to accept it till they throw me away.

No. 788932

>>788928

to clarify:

the seven people (two women and five men) i felt nothing for. some were my friends, but i had never felt anything romantic or sexual for them ever (except one). legit felt nothing. but the second they start approaching me, with obvious sexual intentions, i get the feeling that its love. and then i get really attached, thinking this is it. this is the person thats going to love me. they obviously never do. and it is very silly of me to fall every time.

No. 788933

Throughout the past years of my life I've made a lot of stupid decisions and kept failing despite trying again and again. I've become afraid of trying again and making choices. I could try again but it seems like I'll only fail inevitably.

No. 788960

Sometimes I wish I could just move in with my brother and his girlfriend. I know that a couple needs their own space together and apartment without annoying family members but it would be nice to live in the same house or the same street. They are both great people and almost 9 years older than me but I feel so lonely living alone & I miss living my family. When my parents get old and I don't have a husband or children I will just move in again with them and then I will never be lonely.

No. 788964

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, everything hurts so damn much, everything hurts soso much, why did you do that to me?

No. 788973

You're nothing to me, fuck you. Your nose is so fucking big and you don't even bathe, you think you are a good person but everyone sees a facade. You're gross, you're the worst. You lived coddled and an easy life so of course you know no fucking hardships. I had to live with 3 people hardcore abusing me. How you dare pin your emotional retardedness on my fucking depression. Fuck you honestly. You're cute… heh. Maybe not. You're a fucking disaster. I wish you the worst. But even if you dont believe in god still are so goddamn loved by him. And he will give you a good wife, a good wife that isnt me. And I'll die alone cause wooops everyone fucking leaves. Fuck you jesus christ die.

No. 788980

File: 1619112898870.jpg (8.08 KB, 260x194, download.jpg)

im starting to realize as im getting older that i dont really want friends. That or im just tired of the friends i currently have. I just feel like everyone talks down on my decisions or pressures me to pursue things that i am already in the process of trying to pursue. Yes friends are great and i do enjoy having people to text and lend my emotional support to and vice versa. But like idk i just always feel judged and like im the friend who constantly has to get her shit together. Meanwhile my shit is together in the way that i want it to be. I have a job and I have my own apartment that i share with my sister. These are all the things i wanted to accomplish before i turned 25 which i was able to achieve. I know the job that I work at isnt somewhere I want to be forever or even another 6 months. Its just this is literally the FIRST time in my very depressing life that I feel comfortable. I have a place to lay my head at night, i make enough money to afford bills and rent and i have an easy job. Like I dont understand what more people want from me. I know complacency isnt good at the fuck all but like this is the first time i ever had the the luxury of being complacent in my life. Like let me be lazy for once i've earned it after years of stress and strife.

I visted one of my childhood friends yesterday and she kept recommending md places to apply to for work and im like no i dont want to work at those places leave me tf alone. If i wanted to work in that field i wouldve applied. Like stop pressuring me and just be glad i havent offed myself yet.This leads me to why i dont really think i wwant friends because on top of the pressure i dont like that annoying subconscious feeling of always having to compare myself to them because i feel like they are outwardly comparing themselves to me. All in all i just want to be left to the few mutuals I have online and be left the fuck alone.

No. 788996

My dad came back home 30 mins earlier than he had told me and he recriminated to me that not even the table was ready for lunch, the least he expects after working all morning and I was here. And I understand, but I had class until 1 hour before he came, finished my notes, ate something and started washing the dishes. I was going to have everything ready by the time he was originally going to be here. I told him that and continued with the chores but now I'm in my room crying a little bit because he's so ungrateful. I'm independent, take care of myself and my parents, never bring problems to neither of them, do all the house chores and the cleaning (happily), always willing to help them, grateful for what they do, keep up with their bullshit, I'm stressed with uni and I have exams back to back in two weeks and I can't even get some consideration for, god forbids, not putting a plate and a fork on the table once. I wish I had defended myself more, hopefully he'll understand but I don't want to see him not even once today

No. 789015

I just want my life to end soon ish, when I'm 30 or 35

No. 789019

>>789015

Better do it now.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 789020

>>789019
NTA, but its hard. I'm hoping for an accident to take me to jesus soon. Pray for me anons.

No. 789035

>>789019
I wish I died now but I still have some hope and a mom to take care of

No. 789036

>>789020
I wish I died soon

No. 789040

I’m so terrified of getting old, like 75-90 old, I’m afraid I’ll be either out of my mind from mental degradation or physically weak and sickly. The idea of being a prisoner in my own body scares me, especially since I won’t have kids and probably no family. I need to start taking better care of my body I guess.

No. 789043

File: 1619118001856.jpeg (86.7 KB, 2048x1671, D7F09A1F-9963-4E77-BD06-C70FD4…)

I wish I was surrounded by shitty relationships like before. I never worried about being alone since it was much preferable than being with some of the scrotes my friends were with. Then I decided to be a dumb bitch and start improving my life / hanging around better people, and now I’m surrounded by genuinely functional and overall happy couples. Fml I want to go back to being a little white trash ghetto rat.

No. 789053

File: 1619118672389.jpeg (951.44 KB, 1242x1211, A718E39B-ADB1-4A88-8044-D47322…)

My friend/ex-gf told me today she's now a she/they nonbinary, and I quote, "not just a girl". She's one of the most feminine women I've ever met, she literally has a venus sign tattoo. I know she's just doing this because she's in an LTR with a man and doesn't feel "queer enough" for her ultrawoke friend group, but it's staggering how much respect for her I have now lost. Honestly she's too fucking old for this shit, and I thought her critical thinking skills were a lot better than this. Depressing.

No. 789056

I rejoined Instagram 3 days ago because I wanted to follow a dancer that I admire alot. I told myself that I won't open the explorer and see all the pretty people. But today I did, and I feel utterly depressed again because I see all the prettier girls that exists out there and I can't be compared to them. I literally feel like sgit, I didn't eat anything and I want to cry my heart out.

No. 789059

>>789056
None of them look like that in real life anyway, anon.

No. 789060

>>789056 If it makes you feel better, the pretty people on the explore page probably look average irl. Filters and photoshop are super normalized to a point that it's hard to notice them, so really, you can be compared to them. Go eat, anon.

No. 789061

>>789056
They use photoshop/facetune or filters and if they’re actually “naturally” pretty, it’s because they probably spend their days at the gym or working out at home, having balanced eating habits and going to sleep at a decent time to get enough hours of sleep.
If you truly want to change yourself in a healthy way, that’s okay, but I’m pretty sure you’re beautiful as you are, nonnie, you don’t need to stop eating, so grab an apple or something, love yourself.

No. 789066

>>789056
Hi anon, like others have said, social media is a farce and everyone only puts the very, very best version of themselves on it. It's easy to say "those are just a lot of filters and photoshop" but so difficult to bring yourself to really believe it because it can sound like a cop out excuse and another way to put yourself down, but it's true. I took a long break from ig, and ultimately quit cosplay because I constantly felt inferior. There are days where I look in the mirror and suck in my belly and wonder why I can't look like some of the girls I follow, but again, no one would ever show the bad parts of themselves on social media. It's so, so heavily curated.

You and I and every one of us are beautiful anon, and I hope you will find peace and realize that. You don't have to have the most beautiful facial features or the slimmest most toned body to be beautiful. There is someone out there who probably looks at you and thinks to themself "fuck she's so beautiful I'm so jealous". Social media is a lie, do not ever believe it.

No. 789081

File: 1619122564039.jpg (29.14 KB, 750x659, C3E-qB4VYAAsuSA copy.jpg)

my step dad from i was 10-12 years old would sit on the couch, in the middle of the living room, with his fly down and hand down his underwear. like, for hours. this isn't normal, right? it would make me extremely uncomfortable and my mom never did anything about it. i need to talk with my therapist about this, but just thinking about it makes me feel so disgusted.

No. 789082

>>789081
ewwww yes what the fuck

No. 789092

>>789066
>>789061
>>789060
>>789059
Omg guys, thank you all very much! You have no idea how much your words comforted me!!!!
I ate a little as I felt a bit better. Also I told my sister how I felt and cried so that also helped. Thanks again nonnies you all are the best love you

No. 789093

I have an ex gf, who I now talk to regularly. I still don't know whether im over her or not but she's been hard to read lately. firstly, she talks to me about the cute boys she sees at the therapy clinic she goes to, and me being a lesbian (her, a bisexual) makes me insecure for whatever reason. I encourage her to talk to them because I don't know how else to respond without being a dick, but then at other times she randomly decides to call me bae, babe, etc. I honestly feel like she wants me to continue liking her but im not sure. she is really bubbly, dyes her hair a lot which often results in online & irl dudes hitting on her, to which she plays off but never really rejects them ? even when we dated she'd go on Omegle video calls and "troll" guys to which I never really said anything (which is in a way my fault) I just don't know how to handle it all and it makes me frustrated. sry for any mistakes but could anyone give advice ?

No. 789096

File: 1619123629002.gif (632.58 KB, 437x498, D5AC1ABD-24CE-4788-9248-C28919…)

>>789092
Love you, nonnie!

No. 789098

I've had two shitty weeks at work where I just feel so tired and frustrated every day, tonight I asked my bf 'do you feel loved by me' and he said 'no, not right now because your tired.' I just burst out crying so hard. I tell him I love him every day, I try to do nice things and try to have good quality time. Im so tired, I'm so exhausted and I constantly worry I'm a shit gf. I hate it I hate it.

No. 789106

File: 1619124224152.png (75.89 KB, 318x307, hm.png)

Hot take, but I literally hate it when bisexuals tell me that same-sex attraction is nbd and not a big issue that I should worry about often. Bitch you're a bisexual! You are not a lesbian! You are entirely capable of being attracted to boyfriends! We're both attracted to women, but this shit is DIFFERENT DIFFERENT nonetheless. I swear to god. I feel like such a bitch for judging so insanely hard on sexuality, but their bullshit advice is basically never helpful.

No. 789111

>>789106
I know exactly what you mean. some bisexual girls need to learn how to shut up

No. 789115

>>789106
>>789111
I'm bisexual and I agree so much

No. 789129

>>789106
I'm not like other bihoes, please don't hate me

No. 789131

I have this reoccurring dream almost every night where I meet my ex again and she's either extremely cold towards me, or we somehow make up again. Either way she has me walking on eggshells trying to appease her. So basically I'm reliving the last weeks I had with her before finally cutting contact almost every night. I try so hard to forget all the hurt she caused me but it's impossible. fml

No. 789138

>>789131
ex girlfriends are a pain. im not sure how to stop yourself from dreaming about her, but I hope it stops soon anon.

No. 789154

I wish I could make my grandparents immortal.

No. 789158

All I want in life is a (new, not refurbished) purple laptop. Why can't I find what I'm looking for? Reeeeeee!

No. 789166

File: 1619129995318.jpeg (43.42 KB, 400x480, D5246A92-4870-4621-9876-5E2F18…)

A customer told me to “have a nice lunch!” after they vaguely heard the conversation about breaks my coworkers were having, which was about me not being able to take my break because we were too busy and shortstaffed

No. 789179


No. 789183

File: 1619131879886.jpg (39.85 KB, 300x300, rosette-hello-kitty-yuzu-hachi…)

I was excited to try this shit and it smells like fucking armor all and burned when I used it. Damn

No. 789190

god im a mess tonight.
its a shit situation, whatever i do its gonna feel like the wrong choice and i cant even talk to anybody about this thing thats eating me up so much

No. 789203

>>789190
I hope you find peace anon! I hope you figure it out

No. 789204

>>789179
Anon. This is beautiful. You clearly have superior Googling skills.

It doesn't have all of the features that I want, but it looks good, so I can probably get over it. Thank you!

No. 789206

>>789166
we're short staffed at my job too. did they mean it maliciously or just being a stupid air head?

No. 789230

>>789206
They were being polite, they just missed hearing the other employee telling me to work through it for the extra money

No. 789232

File: 1619137455395.gif (277.28 KB, 270x200, 1612529665806.gif)

why are they/thems and he/him "lesbians" and butch women never considered a fetish or "bad" but feminine men are? specifically asking about fandom spaces online.

liking a character like astolfo gets you such shit because he's "offensive to trans people!!" or whatever but nobody has ever cared or raised a fuss about like…sailor uranus. idk it's frustrating i want these people to see their hypocrisy

No. 789234

Posted nudes on /soc/ again because I felt so lonely and awful and now I feel even worse. I wish someone would talk to me. I guess I’ll just try to sleep and forget about everything as long as I can, I don’t want to wake up.

No. 789246

>>789232
What is this gif? Miku would never!

No. 789249

I have had the same friend group since high school and I’m almost 24. They are all insufferable psuedo intellectual weeb coomers (the guys and girls). one of the girls is a fujoshit who constantly simps for her porn addicted lolicon bf and I feel like killing myself everytime I interact with them. I’ve spent years trying to make new friends locally. I’m tired

No. 789267

File: 1619140370276.gif (2.35 MB, 275x155, 1604773351972.gif)


No. 789291

>sees message from scrote I haven't seen in years bc I forget to remove people on snap
>curious
>opens
>it's his dick
>I am eating chicken nuggets and I almost choke them out of my mouth
>ask what I did to deserve this

No. 789293

File: 1619145539037.jpeg (58.27 KB, 720x782, 1568079783145.jpeg)

>tfw tracked down a girl I hugged 1 (one) time at a convention almost a decade ago when we were both young teens
REAL tfw no gf hours tonight, ladies.

No. 789302

i have no idea what i want to do with my life, i've made no new friends since high school, relapsed into my purging and my cat went missing
hopefully may is better

No. 789309

>>789234
goddamn girlie, I don't know what possessed you to do that but I hope you get better, don't do that again bc it's pathetic

No. 789310

My brother is a bipolarfag and I hate that my mom puts him on speakerphone when he calls every few days. We were watching a movie and now my parents paused it to placate him in one of his manic freakouts and at this point I'm only pissed that I have to wait to watch the rest of the movie smh stop calling bitch take your meds go to therapy, shit

No. 789317

File: 1619151112773.png (248.66 KB, 498x280, 8D38118D-54E5-49DD-B159-ED5DFE…)

Been wanting a horror/gurro art thread bc I’m chuuni faggot but I know scrotes would just posts porn in it
suxxx

No. 789320

Being a dumb nocturnal bitch is ruining my fucking life

No. 789321

>>789310
Sending some hugs anon, hope your cat comes back

No. 789324

I hate how when I talk about something that really fucked with my psyche they just say I'm overreacting or it doesn't make sense or that I shouldn't feel this way. I've been constantly distracting myself to ease the pain. It's barely working. I feel constant unease to anguish. Seeing myself unravel was scary enough.

No. 789325

File: 1619152489261.jpeg (Spoiler Image, 78.24 KB, 401x565, 73BEFCB6-AF04-42C0-BE21-774E4A…)

I feel like shit. Took Zyrtec for my horrible allergies and it not only doesn’t work for the symptoms but made me nauseous with vomiting and diarrhea. I can’t take Pepto with it omg help anons.

No. 789336

File: 1619153749779.gif (738.43 KB, 495x259, thatscenefromthemist.gif)

>So both my little brother and I are on the spectrum and also have ADHD. He's several years younger than I am and our experiences with our disorders are very different
>He got to be diagnosed as soon he entered grade school. I was diagnosed when I was around 20 years old
>He constantly got coddled growing up and I was told multiple times that I'm a parasite who's an alcoholic addict who will die homeless
>I'm an "alcoholic" because I used to drink socially on Saturdays with friends and "addict" because I rely on ADHD medication to hopefully function better
>Before my diagnosis whenever I called out my brother for doing fuck all around the house he was excused with "hE'S aUtIsTiC hE cAn'T dO AnYtHiNg bY hImsELF"
>I get yelled at for not doing literally ALL the chores when my brother and dad have not done more than just cleaning up after their own messes for weeks or months
>My parents are always supportive of my brother having some form of social life but when I was his age and tried to use my free time to socialise I get shouted at for not studying enough
>When I try to call out this hypocrisy what I get is "yOu'Re JuSt JeAlOuS oF yOuR bRoThEr, yOu NeVeR lIkEd hIm"
>Parents will never be willing to have a conversation about this and they have an outdated mindset that sons are better than daughters and men are better than women (even if the girls/women are the main providers and/or also do the most around the house)
>Currently pushing to get myself moved out ASAP through disability support because I was basically told that "lol your dad and I are fucking poor so we're going to move out to a part of the country that nobody wants to move out to, so if you want to stay you're on your own gg"
>It took fucking years to organise the supports I have now that I still have to keep working on because parents refused to stop being in denial about me for years
>If I have to move to a different state where the support system is different all of the time and money I spent is tossed into the trash
>Just fuck that sexist mindset that men are somehow better than women but at the same time bigger victims when faced with similar issues

No. 789340

>>789336
Nonnie, I'm so sorry. Your parents are abusive cunts. I really hope you'll be able to move out and stay close to your support system.

No. 789356

>dress femininine, wear clothes that emphasize your silhouette
>others treat you with respect, men are nice etc.
>wear comfy baggy clothes that you actually like
>everyone treats you like a 15 year old or ignores you
Why are people like this?

No. 789372

I was too afraid to ask two of my professors for their signature so I could get the credit points and the fear spiraled so much that I only yesterday (after 6 months) emailed the administration to ask for the signatures. They didn't even respond even tho I added definitive proof. I now feel like shit and garbage and am even more afraid. I don't know what to do and I feel like crying.

No. 789374

>>789372
You only emailed them yesterday right? It's possible they simply haven't gotten to your e-mail yet. They should respond even if it's to reject your request so I think you should wait for a little longer. If not, try directly calling them or going to the administration in person (if that's possible). I know it's scary but it's for the best! Good luck!

No. 789421

File: 1619170785166.png (50.09 KB, 229x219, 27EFF114-6E32-4FDA-8DCE-1D6197…)

just vomited, didn’t even drink that much alcohol
also I hate it when it comes out the nose too. The smell is terrible
I think I’m just gonna stop drinking forever.

No. 789423

File: 1619171282123.jpg (30.06 KB, 720x720, b9dec034-a966-4313-9137-d907ed…)

This has probably been felt and posted before, but
I think I look worse than some of the pics of the cows on farm. It kinda hurts every time anons rip apart a less than ideal pic of a cow saying that they look too old for their age or have an unfortunate face etc. when they look better than I do at the same age in the same lighting. Some of them even have the same facial features as me but like, better lmao. They have better skin than me (unshooped) and I put in the effort on skincare and hygiene that some of the worst ones don't. The ones that get fucked up plastic surgery give me hahas but also sadness because it reiterates the fact that not even surgery can salvage a cold mess. Normal looking people fucking up their face is still pretty sad even if they're suboptimal in terms of personality and interpersonal conduct.

I know I shouldn't let look-related things get to me too deep AND hanging out on lolcow is one of the least productive things to do. But since this is a vent thread and I'm not gonna take this bs to an irl friend, I just want to open up about being bummed out on this specific thing. Beauty issues get to me because they're a barrier to basic human treatment at some unpredictable times, and I'm tired of pretending it doesn't hurt, that shit impresses no one and helps nothing. I feel stupid for feeling attacked when cows that look better than me are picked apart and I can't be sure what part of it is a nitpick and what's legit.

I'm not blaming farmers for my look related self-esteem issues or looking for asspats, that's for sure. I just wonder if anyone here relates and/or is tired of being anxious about their tired anxious looking face. Been feeling vulnerable just thinking of writing this.

I just want a total stress free vacation from anything to do with compliments or remarks pertaining to appearance. Leaving lolcow for a bit wouldn't even be enough repair though, I'd need to leave society since this is a deeper issue.

No. 789425

File: 1619171395689.jpg (30.64 KB, 460x345, v4-460px.jpg)

I have a colleague at work who got hired thanks to me, I thought it would be a chance for us to hang out more and become better friends but even though she's more than eager to talk, all she does is talking about herself, it became so bad now anything I'd say that is not a direct response to her thing gets straight up ignored or met with dismissive "I see" type response. I was there for her when she was feeling down during the worst hectic work times, I've proposed multiple things to do together so we can bond and she always would flake on me but still writes countless messages daily about herself and her interests. I'm annoyed but most of all I'm honestly upset because I thought that I'll finally have a friend and seems like she's just using me for my time and that's it.

No. 789429

>>789423
Anons are absurd nitpickers tbh. It's obvious that many of them believe bad people deserve to be ugly too, so if they dislike a cow they impulsively criticize any tiny imperfection even if they are perfectly attractive by normal standards.

No. 789430

>>789423
Remember that nitpicking is 1st of all done by very specific kind of people that you're not very likely to ever meet in real life, and also it's amplified by farmers disgust with specific cows, they would very likely never look that close and tear apart a person that has never done anything wrong to them. It's a meme at this point but you know in many cases it definitely is jealousy too. Additionally, there are things about cows that get nitpicked by some people but some other people consider attractive actually, they just dont mention that in the threads, because they'd get accused of being a friend of the cow; for example I've once shared my insecurity on /g/ about my bodypart that looks like certain cow's bodypart that people often bring up in the thread as something that makes her ugly, and anons on /g/ were supportive and some said for them it's actually appealing or a complete non-issue.
tl;dr Don't take gossip threads as a gospel on what's beautiful, if you feel like they're getting too much into your head, take a break; no one is perfect, cows arent, farmers arent, you can't please everyone. Society sucks but in real life and in person no one is actually cruel like this and you really need to remember that.

No. 789435

I finally cut off my ex my from my life. A few months ago when we both went through a pretty devastating natural disaster he asked me to go out with him
and a shared friend to take a walk, I was pretty distressed from living in a car for a couple of days so I accepted. He asked me to go out again, the three of us,
I accepted again but this time the other dude wasn't there because "he couldn't make it today", I thought something was up.
After that meeting I said I'll be busy with university since I had to catch up and I've been ignoring his calls and messages until I stupidly accepted his invitation again this week.
I don't want to hang out with him but when someone's persistent like he is I tend to give in which is a horrible flaw of mine.
I ended up messaging him, changing my mind, and telling him I don't want to go out with him one on one and that I feel uncomfortable because we're exes, even though it's been 6 years since we broke up.
I have a boyfriend that's not with me at the moment so it makes me feel like my ex is trying to do something because of that.
Even though my ex is my only friend in my hometown, I don't want to hang out with him unless I bump into him by chance while commuting or something.
I did the right thing, I think. He sent me some angry/disappointed sounding messages but I'm too scared to open them kek

No. 789445

>>789429
This. And then they post the overused "inner beauty" illustration to justify them obsessing over a cow's appearance. It's so tedious, just accept that bad people can be attractive and good people can be ugly. If anything, attractive people are probably much likely to be selfish as according to studies people are more willing to forgive them for misdeeds compared to unattractive people.

Overall anons acting like an average to attractive looking female cow is a hideous goblin with no redeemable physical qualities have crossed over the line from reasonably appalled to spergdom. You can argue that Momokun fucked her figure up with the frankenstein lipo procedures and now looks like Donkey Kong in a thong because that's on her and caused by her own choices, but calling her face ugly and posting mid movement instagram screenshots to call her out for not looking like an airbrushed, filtered meitucam queen all the time seems projecting.

No. 789469

File: 1619177742040.jpeg (337.31 KB, 750x731, 2EA2E952-BCA2-48EC-A084-47F159…)

>>789423
>>789429
>>789445
this is what you guys are talking about

No. 789476

Any other straight women in their 20s here considered never getting involved romantically with men? I really need more female friends… I'm not much of a doomer about life but when it comes to males I'm 100% a pessimist. I feel kinda bad for it but I can't help it, for all my years alive all I have seen is men being disgusting, selfish, opportunistic, etc. I don't even lurk much on pinkpill threads because it would only fuel what I already think, I'd very much like to not be like this but I can't help it when my experiences with men are mostly negative

No. 789477

>>787905
Late to the convo but which youtuber? Was he famous? Why was it stressful?

No. 789478

File: 1619179886027.jpeg (435.89 KB, 530x1047, 5E668AAA-D679-4E41-A180-91E875…)

I’m so sick of people like pic related. I want to a log every time I see shit like this. OMG she’s aging! That means she can’t wear pastels, florals, primary colours, cute patterns, stuff with animals on it, pink lipsticks, a line or pleated skirts/dresses, bright makeup, or anything cute or Kawaii at all, can’t wear her hair long, can’t keep piercings in, can’t die her hair, can’t wear bright nail polish. Because she’s 25+ Which means she should wear nothing but grey suits and dress smart business casual and give up trying to be youthful, attractive and fun. I hate them.

It’s so obvious they’re like barely 21 and have internalised the ageism from the manosphere. They probably feel superior just for being younger. I absolutely hate them. You are making yourselves and all other women feel like complete shit, for what? For making it past the first quarter of their life? They’re the same nonnies that cry about turning 25+ and act like their life is over, meanwhile they thirst after 40+ year old. Disgusting.
Btw I’m 26, which I consider to be the prime of my life. Have fun being miserable in your own skin and hating yourselves for aging like any normal human being does.

No. 789480

>>789478
They definitely bought the manosphere idea that women are only attractive when they are in their 20s or below. lol
The idea that someone should ditch their interests because they are aging is pretty stupid.

No. 789484

>>789478
I think her clothes suit her age perfectly fine. However that haircut is super bad. Tbh I had the same one when I was four years old in the 90s.

I think the "teenage animu baby" is referring to her photoshop, and she still does it fam.

No. 789486

>>789480
They project so fucking hard
>cow wears something pink, girly, cute
OMG she’s so in denial! She wants to look like an uwu ddlg baby forever! Stupid old hag! She’s so desperate to stay young! She wants all the scrotes to lust after her and sperg about how she’s an uwu legal Loli on their 4chan boards uwu! She’s so afraid of aging haha! Ha! She’s aging so fast! Look at all the wrinkles around her eyes when she smiles and laughs! My 35 year old 4chan bf I met on discord said she looks like a fucking hag too!

No. 789489

My boss scheduled me to work from open to an hour before close (so 10 hours, excluding a two hour break after 4 hours of work) and yet he scheduled two other dudes to get off an hour before me, despite them coming in later and working less hours. What the fuck, let me leave earlier than them??? fuck me I guess. I hate being reliable.

No. 789495

>>789478
Not to mention she actually still looks young wtf

No. 789496

>>789478
>It’s so obvious they’re like barely 21 and have internalised the ageism from the manosphere.
I think it's 50% this and 50% bratty kids with mommy issues. If the horrible old spinsters are wearing cute clothes, zoomers can no longer enjoy the cute clothes because UGH MOM HOW EMBARRASSING.

No. 789498

Why am I so goddamn stupid?!
I had almost 2 months for my thesis but had to spent most of those 2 months dealing with asshole beauracy and a broken rip. I have to hand my thesis in on Monday and I'm only like 65% done.
My ADHD is killing me and I have so goddamn much left to write.

Now I'm sitting here pumped up on way too many meds and resort to fucking snorting my own medication mixed with rests of pep I found in my drawers so I can get something done.

Why is everyone able to do shit like this easily and I struggle so hard. I hate law school so fucking much sometimes. Thanks to covid I had to rearrange everything anyway. So now instead of already having the bar exam I have to do this goddamn shitty thesis so I don't waste any more time until the stupid bar whenever that may be.

I hope I can do this

No. 789501

>>789498
I relate to this post so much rn. Wishing you the best anon, you can do it.

No. 789502

File: 1619182486986.jpg (15.02 KB, 250x250, d275c8df.jpg)

>>789496
>mfw I finally am mature enough to style how I want, with whatever I want, when I want and am no longer babyfat, and then these zoomy fucks roll in and start spraying their shit everywhere like it's the lord's gospel
Like stfu makayla, the only reason you think you have your shit together is that your parents still manage it for you while you sit on your ass posting on your pathetic ddlg blogge sit tf down

No. 789503

>>789502
(same anon here I forgot/failed to make it clear I was directing this to the people you're talking about and not you anon lol sorry)

No. 789504

>>789478
Sorry to hijack your post anon but it frustrates me in the unconventional female attractions thread too, so many farmers have utterly psychotic standards for women (which never apply to men ofc) and I know it's stupid to come to a gossip board and expect female solidarity but I wish people would stop nitpicking physical non-issues like ageing and just focus on actual milk

No. 789506

>>789480
Oh don't you know anon, it's childish to like things you've had years long interests in because you're 25+. When you turn 25 you need to worry about having children only and giving your life up to serve others.

No. 789507

>>789504
>focus on actual milk

I think the problem, in general with snow and w are that there really isn't much milk

No. 789510

Damn i really shouldn't have seen AOT the rumbling arc, I'm very mentally unwell, things were getting somewhat stressful and that shitshow of a manga didn't help, absolutely horrifying. (I'm not an anime/manga person and i nrber watched AOT i just saw this arc because it looked cool…i wasn't aware AOT was so gory and dark, now I'm feeling extra anxious)

No. 789511

>>789478
Based being superior for being younger. The more you age, the more your energy, time, spirit, and soul decay. That's why slimy disgusting old pedophiles are attracted to young people, they have something that they dont: humanity.

No. 789515

>>789511
That hurt my ancient decaying soul. Oh to feel the joys of youth again, I must go and groom someone now

No. 789516

>>789515
pls anon dont make me laugh today

No. 789521

File: 1619183863613.jpg (8.4 KB, 142x203, Screenshot_7.jpg)

>>789478
I'm pretty sure what anon meant was that Dakota has been known for capitalizing on her shooped 'baby alien princess jailbait uwu' looks but she can't rely on that anymore ever since she stopped shooping and people can see her real face. She should go for another image, I think a more androgynous look would suit her but I don't think that's popular in Japan
>>789515
this made me kekk

No. 789525

>>789486
>My 35 year old 4chan bf I met on discord said she looks like a fucking hag too!
Lost my sides at this one, holy kek anon it's too accurate

Anyway it's tiring that these kids don't realize that they won't magically grow out of the fun stuff they like, no woman turned 30 and suddenly came out wearing nothing but mom jeans and business casual while pushing a baby stroller because of some innate desire. It's because people are memed into thinking that adult women have to stop having a personality besides a yoga mom, a girlboss or a mean old karen. I'll never forget the anon who was worried about wearing a crop top at 31 because she felt too old for it and it just boggles my mind, it's not like it's a diaper or a toddler onesie.

No. 789530

>>789525
Women are memed to give up their interests unless they involve making her look better to serve the interests of whatever wanker she's attached herself too. Then when women do step into that role their memed for only living for their man.

No. 789533

>>7891313
I've been seeing dreams of my ex-gf for two years now. I hope yours end sooner, non

No. 789534

>>789533
I've had dreams of my pedo bf for YEARS. Like legit 5 or something. They are driving me crazy. I have no idea how to get rid of them.

No. 789538

File: 1619185797900.gif (1.83 MB, 480x480, DBA11A79-45DF-4E3D-B49A-20B312…)

I’ve noticed that in action role-playing games that they always cop out with a heavily implied strong female character and make her really shitty or with “nerfed” talents and skills or give her a dumb healing ability. I’m going all tinfoil because I feel like they always do this shit when they make female video game characters with very few exceptions where women are dominant in the game like Bayonetta. Venting about genshin again but I have not seen a female 5-star as strong as someone like Zhongli

No. 789541

>>789506
After 25 years of age you're only allowed to be a soccer mom and that's it, exactly. lmao
Kinda crazy how there are so many women spreading this bullshit. Unfortunately too many have spent time drinking the manosphere kool aid and that mixes with their own insecurities.

No. 789542

File: 1619186378053.jpg (116.24 KB, 1125x747, 2pbombebxxa41.jpg)

>>789501
Thank you!
It's always sad when someone can relate to something like this, but hey let's both try our best, if I can pull through so can you!
I believe in you anon!

No. 789546

It's really weird to me that a couple of my bullies from high school after many years have come forward and apologized to me and said that they knew I was starving and making myself throw up over it. That apparently even at the time they felt super bad about it and thought I was going to die because of how sick I looked and I guess one of their parents was concerned over my appearance. It's just like, I don't even get why they're coming forward now about this after so many years. Like if they were apparently so concerned about my well being so many years ago then maybe they shouldn't of isolated me from literally the entire school and made it so I couldn't even go to the teachers for help. It just brings up so many shitty feelings for me. I hate that they think they could resolve their guilt through me. I still sometimes have panic attacks and thoughts of suicide because of the torment they put me through.

No. 789549

It's frustrating that there are so few places someone can post while being obviously female where it doesn't come across as being an attention whore.

No. 789550

>>789546
Bullies like that made me think that I just didn't get along with other girls or something and I really resent them for it. No idea if they intended to apologize or just wanted to creep on my life but I ignored their FB requests when I got them.
You're right, it probably is more for their own guilty conscience than anything.

No. 789553

>>789549
i feel you anon, it's ridiculous. we literally make up half the population, it's so bizarre that being female is considered some kind of rarity on the internet

No. 789557

>>789553
Yeah. And its not even so much because of harassment shit. I just want to be treated normally. I don't want to be singled out for being a girl.

No. 789558

>>789553
In retrospect it's retarded how half the population is treated as a rarity

No. 789560

>>789558
I get that girls actually are less common in certain hobbies/interests but I think this is played up way too much. Like I'd say the male/female ratio of people into anime has to be pretty even for example.

No. 789574

File: 1619191099917.png (218.43 KB, 640x588, 30476772-EC57-467D-AC44-BBE27F…)

Fuck my micromanaging, oompa-loompa looking boss! I already do so much here and yet she still expects more with no complaint. I would never use the term gaslighting lightly but she has my department mentally and emotionally on edge. I just shake with anger every time she tries to deny ever saying or doing something shitty. And fuck HR for continuing to defend her despite the numerous complaints piled against her. Smiles to your face while making a rude and passive comment in front of everyone kind of cunt. The worst part is that because of Covid and living in a rural area, finding a new decent paying job is impossible. Staying here is the only way I can afford to live in this shit country that’s already hell bent on tearing itself apart

No. 789576

>>789560
>Like I'd say the male/female ratio of people into anime has to be pretty even for example.
Yeah, anime is so mainstream nowadays, guys still acting like anime is a boys club are toxic

No. 789577

>>789546
those people are fucking stupid! i had an obvious ED too in middle school and high school and though i wasn't really bullied people treated me weird and shitty over it. people would make passive aggressive comments over it or try to get me to admit it in front of groups of people, it was shitty and embarrassing because i just wanted people to leave me the fuck alone. my mom told me a couple years ago too that teachers had emailed her about it and she said "i told them you were fine!" like wtf since i was 13 ive been underweight as fuck and fluctuated back to a normal BMI many times over for nearly ten fucking years and i know people notice when im struggling and the only people who have actually made me feel comfortable talking about it are past boyfriends and my current one. people only fake feeling bad because they dont fucking get it at all.

No. 789581

>>789560
This. I'm so sick of it. Women who play video games are still treated like fucking unicorns even though MORE than half of all gamers are women.

No. 789584

I feel so depressed and have so much anxiety that it is physically painful. I cant even visit lolcow. All I want is to sleep

No. 789588

he said im too depressed for him. it hurts so much. i didnt chose to be depressed. all I want is a hug

No. 789593

I got bored of dating so I havent tried in like 5 months. I noticed scrotes come in only two forms.
>The controlling lovey dovey one who treats you like a dumb little girl
>the mysterious guy who tries to be cool/distant because he thinks so highly of himself that if he acts fun/friendly you'll fall inlove. These dudes usually start pestering you when you get bored of chasing them.

I just want a scrote who treats me like a friend, they can never act normal…maybe its just me who attracts this shit.

No. 789597

>>789593
Sounds accurate from my experience

No. 789605

>>789602
You must be one of the posters defending the autistic fnf creator in the art salt thread for days now. How did you even come here?

No. 789606

>>787823
George Floyd's O2 saturation was 98% at the hospital, he had ingested more than 3 times the lethal dose of Fentanyl, he died of a heart attack, Chauvin didn't block Floyd's airway or carotid arteries. Chauvin's trial was a complete farce, the prosecution couldn't even agreed on how Floyd died, and Maxine Waters calling for riots should have resulted in a mistrial, and a retrial in a place where the jurors could be safe. Because of the BLM riots, Democrat cities in America have become more dangerous places, with soaring crime rates, and police reluctant to try and stop criminals lest that results in more riots involving murder and looting by criminals.

No. 789609

>>789606
The fent thing was proven wrong though and you can want him in jail while dislijng the soar in crime rates (which is statistically recorded as still going down in the 2020 year from previous years as far I can see except few cities which aren't all democratic cities).

No. 789611

>>789597
It's good to know it's just not me. I'm starting to think normal scrotes dont exist.

No. 789614

File: 1619194125412.jpg (83.36 KB, 1024x683, midsommar2-1024x683.jpg)

I don't feel held by him

No. 789616

>>789611
Same. And it only gets more depressing the older I get.

No. 789618

File: 1619194377745.jpg (573.32 KB, 2448x3264, dpg5ow02pq651.jpg)

Where is my Pelee(stop avatarfagging)

No. 789620

>>789616
The sad part is I'm like 30 and I still go through this. The mysterious and cool act is interesting at 16 like some fanfic shit I guess but over the age of 22 it just becomes creepy. Im like sir…are you a serial killer or crazy?

No. 789623

Today I learnt people who haven't had one single hardship in their lives probably also don't like hanging out with people who actually have had a rough life

No. 789627

>>789614
Gay-ass movie where a bunch of scrotes and handmaidens killed a woman for being freaked out at ritual suicide and trying to go home.
Stop posting this shit before I bonk you.

No. 789629

>>789620
I think they are socialized to believe that is just how men are supposed to be. You know… Cool and distant, not open or emotional because that's for girls.

No. 789654

>>789609
ntayrt but obviously crime rates went down in 2020 because of lockdowns

No. 789655

>>789623
The reverse is true, I can't get along with people who never had any real problems in their lives and I found that this is the same with my friends, they also barely have anything in common with people with "normal", good lives.

No. 789658

>>789627
nta but midsommar is a based movie

No. 789666

File: 1619196610214.jpeg (116.89 KB, 750x772, yyhHd.jpeg)

Sorry for the extremely long text, I'm so pissed off at my boyfriend and I can't afford therapy. He agreed to take me to this city that was an hour away from my house to let me take my tests (I dropped out so it's a high school equivalency) at this adult testing center and I really appreciated it because it usually takes an hour or two to finish. I didn't expect him to stay there for that long and that he would have found something to do but I finished in an hour and a half and went out to find his car.. he was not there. Okay, that's cool, I'll just call my own phone because HE HAS MY PHONE AND WALLET. I go up to the receptionist and they let me use their phone, I call probably about 50 thousand times and it just goes to voice mail or just beeps repeatedly.

FUCKING GREAT! I'm stuck in a random sketchy part of this city and I look crazy to everybody while I go out in every single part of the parking lot and examine each of the cars to see if maybe one of them was his. I repeat this process over and over and I'm so scared at this point because he has all my shit, including my wallet with my social security card in it for identification because I can't bring in my own items for the test, and I can't call my mom because she would be LIVID. I just went into the bathroom and cried my eyes out but of course that's when he calls the phone back and tells them he'll be there in about ten minutes. I wait on the couch looking insane and probably smell because I've been sweating like crazy for an HOUR before he walks in. I'm so upset I can't even look at him because I know if I do I'll just cry, but I lie and say it's okay because I don't want to make a scene.
The best part is he was literally hanging out with his ex FWB and her mom at their house that was 40 minutes away.. OKAY! She's one of his only real life friends and he always insists that he wasn't really attracted to her and that it was purely for sex but I never felt right about it, even while hanging out. They act just like friends and aren't sexual from what I've seen but who fucking knows, I could just be pulling shit out of my ass to make me feel better. He took me out to this nice restaurant after to make it up to me but I looked and felt like shit and I accidentally spent 30 dollars on gas for him (I wasn't paying attention and I was only aiming for like 10 dollars or something).

I want to fucking choke him out so bad. Reading through all of this just makes me so angry again and I brushed it off because I'm so scared of being alone, we were supposed to go to a sanctuary and look around afterwards but because he was late we couldn't. I was really looking forward to it and all I got was shitty flirting on the way back to my house. I'm so tired. Fuck men.

No. 789667

>>789658
Nah. It wasn't awful, but the room temperature IQ people who keep claiming it's a feminist/female friendship masterpiece even though the cult killed a woman who didn't do shit to them need to go.
Hereditary is better btw

No. 789676

>>789666
Anon I’m just going to be honest with you. If he’s having contact with anyone he used to have sex with, he will have sex with her again. Men are the best liars and they have animalistic stupid lizard brains. If she gave him an opportunity to have sex and he isn’t a Christian man, he will do it. No questions asked. He would do it and lie and never admit it to you unless you had proof no matter how much he loves you. Men do not think like us. Get out quick, or set some boundaries. I’m serious, a man with morals is the only man who (most likely) won’t cheat or be retarded. Sorry for my unasked for advice and I’m sorry you went through that! You deserve better, I promise.

No. 789680

>>787805
True af

No. 789691

>>789667
Midsommar >>>> Hereditary
IDC if a movie by scrote is "feminist" or not, it was just a great picture and a well told story. The fact that it's relatable to many women is a nice bonus.

No. 789695

>>789691
It's relatable only to retarded straight women who choose shitty men

No. 789706

File: 1619198674141.png (46.25 KB, 300x227, thumb_your-opinion-opinion-dis…)

>>789695
>retarded women who choose shitty men
Amazing how one can get away with misogyny and victim blaming on a female imageboard by putting "straight" before "women".

No. 789714

>>789691
>be Dani
>lose your entire family
>cling to garbage scrote and his other scrote friends who don't care about you, harming yourself more
>later cling onto another garbage scrote in a cult (who are meant to be Nazis if you actually read the original script and interviews with the director) who happily kill innocent people, including vulnerable women like yourself
>"Wow this is so relatable, god I wish that were me"
A self-drag. Basically wishing for vengeance to be taken by circumstances beyond your control (so you can remain an innocent victim and never have to reckon with your own justified rage) instead of either being strong enough to take it by yourself, or abandon those who don't hold you. It's extra depressing because none of the people in the film truly cared about her, just her use in their group. Pelle didn't have his shitty fellow moids killed for her sake, it was just a happy fucking accident that she happened to be miserable and eligible for membership, and we don't know when/if she'll be on the chopping block because she's infertile or her zodiac is wrong or her period came on the wrong day or she didn't want to have a sacred orgy with the village inbred and all the old men or whatever the fuck. Hereditary is better IMO because it doesn't try to be ~*a woman's fairy tale*~ or whatever (while directed by a man lmao). It's just a dark story about how family and trauma can affect people for generations.

No. 789718


No. 789719

>>789695
kek so true

No. 789724

>>789714
>A self-drag
I don't relate to this movie but find it emotional anyway. Also not everyone needs to relate to the whole story. Most anons mentioned relating to a scene or two, not the whole narrative. Anyway it's irrelevant to me, I just enjoyed the movie as a whole, Hereditary didn't really grab me with the latter half and the ooga booga ending. It's overrated imho.

No. 789727

>>789546
Oh anon I’m so sorry. I dealt with something similar a couple days ago which resulted in a huge meltdown while visiting my mom. The worst part is when people try to tell you to get over it because it happened years ago but it’s impossible. I feel like the years of bullying and ostracization from my peers is the reason why I’m so anti-social and have never been in a relationship. I have no problems being confident in a professional setting but the second it’s personal and I have to be around people my own age I immediately regress back into the sad, scared girl I once was.

No. 789729

>>789695
I'm really starting to feel like being in shitty relationships, languishing in the despair of it all, and then never doing anything about it is just culture for a very specific subset of straight people.
There's a weird martyrdom to being in a bad relationship that some seem to get addicted to. It's twisted.

No. 789732

>>789714
> wishing for vengeance to be taken by circumstances beyond your control
Dani chose to sacrifice Christian. it was within her control. she could've picked another villager.

No. 789734

>>789732
That was in a state of trauma and panic that could easily be waved off as "I just wasn't in my right mind, so many crazy things were happening. I would (normally) never do that, I loved him".

No. 789736

File: 1619200541440.jpg (106.31 KB, 1096x616, maxresdefault (1).jpg)

>>789734
she seemed pretty happy about it, but go off. the movie makes a lot more sense if you go into it believing that women have agency.

No. 789743

File: 1619200877888.png (40.07 KB, 1258x146, sbs1.png)

>>789736
Did you like…miss the entire shot of her having a meltdown? Did you not read the script basically confirming she lost her mind (not that she became the supervillain girlboss that you seem to want so bad)?
She was half-coherent and on drugs the whole time, and that's way easier than accepting that he was an awful person who mistreated her, and taking action to help herself (even if that meant hurting him or being cruel). She literally gave up all the agency she had left by the end of the film, I don't know if you were paying attention.

No. 789747

>>789736
lol you can't be serious with this, she looks "happy" because her mind has literally been broken after being put through hell and drugged up
and no, people in a cult don't have agency despite the illusion of choice >>789732 , she was guided towards choosing christian, and there was no choice for her to go home and not kill anybody

No. 789759

>>789629
>>789620
anime contributed to this

No. 789805

>>789743
NTA but she still chose Christian over the other random, so it was kinda a revenge.

No. 789811

>>789743
>>789747
> finally free
> gave up all the agency
so which is it?

No. 789813

>>789811
The above post was brought to you by no reading comprehension gang

No. 789819

REEEE WHY THE FUCK IS LAST.FM ALWAYS DOWN I NEED MY AUTISM STATS

No. 789822

>>789629
Not really. A lot of guys will act fun and friendly with women they wanna date and cold/distant with women in the fuck zone. Its bread crumbing and thinking that they are so awesome that if they're nice to a woman in the fuck zone she will think he wants a relationship. Of course the most logical option would be to stop fucking the woman but ya know scrotes.

No. 789861

File: 1619207756245.jpeg (957.92 KB, 1242x1552, 1607282691770.jpeg)

God I feel so stretched thin lately.
Work has been stressful, it's been two months nonstop of preparing for internal and external audits in the office. Of course, no work was done for this until I got hired. Every lapse is being blamed on me (or people are salty at me that they need to help because I can't print, organize, and file thousands of documents alone and they're the ones who let it get this bad), and I'm busy every moment of the day with projects and meetings. No one seems to give a fuck, they just expect me to magically get it all done somehow. One project is particularly frustrating because I have to watch a boomer in a zoom call all day as he fumbles and bumbles around on the computer filling out documents. I'm required to babysit him doing this because he's constantly making mistakes and being slow. I have to correct him repeatedly, I'm required to do this. It's like training a toddler and I'm anxious because there's other shit to be done. THANKFULLY this is almost over.

During my work lunch today I had to drive out (20 mins one way) to pick up a friend's birthday cake for tomorrow. I was volunteered for this task for the second time in a row by my friend group. I was nice and bought her her favorite dessert cookies as extra. It was very expensive, no one gave me money for it as usual. They all say to meet up at their house (yay more driving for me..) and think hosting and buying/reusing cheap $20 Amazon decorations is enough of a contribution I guess. For each friend's birthday, I've spent $110+ every time but I digress. I had no choice because I work late tonight (the bakery will close) and tomorrow morning I wanted to get my nails done and not be in a hurry because I fucking hate being stressed and rushed about this shit. So I pick up the cake and notice it doesn't have friend's favorite fruit on it. I call my fiance (who requested three days off) to please go get the fruit. Well fuck me, he pushed back on me about it. "Why don't you get it?" Because my hands were full getting the cake and I didn't have time to stand in a grocery store line because I have to go straight back to work, no breaks for me. "But we can get it tomorrow morning." No we are not going to do that. I want to do something for me with one of my only two days off. I am not skipping taking care of myself and rushing because you don't want to do this today. "But I'm doing laundry and even started the kitchen chores." And I finally had to say fine I'll do it my fucking self before he said "Alright I'll do it." Damn fucking right you will! It takes me 40+ minutes to drive home in rush hour traffic, were you really going to force me to stop at the store when you have fuck all to do today? The store is 3 minutes up the road. Get off your lazy ass!
On top of that, I feel like my friend group doesn't really give a fuck about me anymore and I'm just convenient because I'll do something nice for them and contribute to their endeavors that cost money. I don't have a crystal ball but I predict my milestone birthday isn't going to have as much thought put in as I did for theirs, and I really hope I'm wrong about that.

Speaking of lazy ass, the past few weeks have been a blur for me because all I do is stress at work, come home to cook/clean, and then sleep. My stepdad rents with me and he's a lazy fuck who treats me and fiance like his personal slave labor. He never vacuums the living room despite hogging it all the time, never cleans his dishes, never empties the dishwasher, never sweeps, glugs down all the milk, and never takes out the trash. He's dead weight. Yes, my fiance helps me somewhat but men aren't great at chores IMO and I'm always stuck cleaning something. It wouldn't be bad if it were just my fiance, but my stepdad desperately needs to drop dead. He's has dishes festering in the sink since Tuesday, and aside from cleaning out one pot I wanted to use I refuse to do the rest. He can't be assed to put the regular dishware into the dishwasher even.

I'm so fucking tired like jfc. My eye has been twitching nonstop for the past two days.

No. 789876

File: 1619208647482.jpg (547.03 KB, 1000x667, T4L-Workshop-Image-sad-woman-o…)

I hate how my dad literally told each and one of his friends that I'm mentally ill,that I'm different that I'm not normal.that's our business,that's also very personal yet he had the audacity to tell them all.I mean I don't fucking talk to them why should they care about that anyway?it doesn't help how everyone in the neighborhood (this all occured in my dad's homeland,a third world country)I know they all see me as a lonely antisocial freak who stands out like a sore thumb,why I even bothered living there in the first place is beyond me (never made any friends or long lasting connections) mainly due to culture differences.the enjoyable experiences I had there were short anyway.it sucks how people immediately know your not mentally adjusted just by looking at you and your behavior,then again they're waaayy behind mental health care to begin with.they hate and will discriminate people who don't fit the norm.

No. 789877

>>789861
Forgot to mention I had to get short with one friend because she was treating me like cake courier service the other day. She was pestering me about if I picked up the cake yet and wanted me to drop it off at her house "to be easier." For one thing I hadn't gotten the cake yet because why the fuck would I have when the party isn't for days? Secondly, it is NOT ""easier"" for me to drive for a fucking hour out to her house just to drop off the cake the day before I have to drive out to her house again for the party–at least I coukd write this off as ignorance as she has yet to learn to drive but idk that seems like common sense, so. Thirdly, she had no part in ordering, obtaining, or paying for this cake and it wasn't any of her business to micromanage me like that. I could understand had I ever before forgotten about a friend's birthday cake but really? Calm the fuck down.

No. 789888

sage for whiny venting. i live with my grandma, and last summer i was diagnosed with prediabetes at the age of fucking 20. i was overweight, bordering on obese. since then i have managed to lose over 15kg, im now well into the healthy bmi range and my prediabetes has been completely resolved. im scared that im going to just gain all the weight back and go back to being prediabetic though, which is bad because it doesnt take long for prediabets to become type 2 diabetes. i could be having legs amputated by my 40s which is a terrifying thought. im mainly worried because my grandma seems obsessed with feeding me. for example, i brought myself one of those single serving oreo packets from my own money one time as a treat. my grandma saw the oreo packet in the bin, and went out and brought an entire giant grocery bag full of family sized oreo packets "to save money". shes now mad that i havent eaten any of it. and its not only oreos, its all sweet/salty snacks that i used to eat. she somehow managed to buy an entire box of chocolate bars. and shes always guilting me by staying stuff like "uwu why wont you eat any of the food i buy, i guess the food i buy isnt good enough for you". and this is pretty much a daily occurence. ive even tried to have other family members try to talk to her about this too, because she just wont listen to me, but shes always so defensive and says that her buying enough oreos to feed a small village is the same as me buying myself a single serving packet one time. i also feel bad shitting on her for this since she was kind enough to let me live with her and feeding people is like her love language lol. also i have no clue where the fuck shes buying all this crap either because chocolate bars and oreos are not exactly cheap where i live. but i think shes taken it too far and the fact that theres all that sugary fatty food just sitting around for me to eat is always at the back of my mind and its so tempting. i feel like im one emotional hiccup away from eating myself back into being prediabetic. also, she never actually eats any of this stuff herself, and has even admitted to hating oreos in the past so shes not buying them to eat herself.

No. 789890

File: 1619209729737.gif (5.83 MB, 500x281, 1C237AD4-5DCF-4EC1-8ADE-DE7BA5…)

scrolling through tiktok (yes bully me I was really bored) and came across a joke video made by a pretty woman who was deliberately trying to make herself ugly as a joke but the comments were just complimenting on how pretty she was regardless and it reignited those juvenile feelings of being and feeling ugly.

No. 789894

https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/trans-advocates-breathe-sigh-relief-manhattan-stops-prosecuting-sex-work-n1265070

Why does everything have to fucking be about troons??? Real women make up far more of the sex worker population than troons do, yet the article makes it all about transwomen. I am so sick of EVERYTHING being made about them.

No. 789898

>>789813
you're the one with no reading comprehension if you can't see how >>789743 directly contradicts the script. the screenplay says Dani is "finally free" which is the polar opposite of having no agency, you illiterate fuck.(infighting)

No. 789902

>>789890
lol society sucks

No. 789905

kms why am i experiencing female pattern hair loss so young, nothing works i can't fix it. every woman in my family has beautiful thick hair. i normally don't get insecure over my appearance but i can't deal with this it's so bad and i have no control over it, i just want normal hair like literally everyone else my age (and older, even most post-menopause women have thicker hair than me) i don't want to have to wear wigs but it's genuinely hideous

No. 789917

My boyfriend is autistic for rap. I love him, so sweet, but legit 80% of what he says is about rap. He's very new and hasn't quite clocked that I have no idea what hes talking about or that I don't really care about the latest tea involving whatever shitty rapper has taken spotlight for the day.

And his favourite is xxxtentacion so by all means I should be bullying him but by the mercy in my own heart I haven't done this yet

No. 789941

The discord I'm on makes me want to rip my fucking hair out.
>Women talk about their problems regarding fearing violence, how they have to be afraid of all men because in case they get attacked they're the ones going to be blamed for leading on, the real threat of spousal abuse etc.
>Men: "uhh excuse ME, a woman once turned down my offer for a date so I think men have it pretty bad too, if not even worse!"
>All the women scurry to apologize for ever talking about female-specific issues and how poor men have to suffer so much and it's actually worse because it "never gets talked about". Oh no, forgive us for ever talking about these trivial problems we dumb girls are being way too melodramatic about! Please don't hate us!
It's not even pickme behavior, it's simply female socialization and they do it subconsciously. No girls, just say fuck you to male feelings for once in your life.

No. 789945

>>789905
Same anon, it’s been happening to me since I was 16 and it’s really destroyed my self esteem. Fuck you god give us our hair back!!!

No. 789951

I think the Madonna-whore complex is not as rare as everyone thinks it is. I always wondered why my ex-boyfriend shit talked scantily-clad women, but i now realize it's because he was sexually attracted to them. I'm not sexy, I have a flat chest, i'm baby-faced, and conservative. The urges he got were never to dick me down, just give me forehead kisses and shit. He needed bodily contact with me to get aroused, just looking at me didn't suffice. I would much rather have foxy eyes and a banging body. Literally the ONLY reason men say they like cute women is because they're intimidated by hot women. They assume they're promiscuous with high-likelihood of cheating and that they have no personalities. But they all love sexually confident women. idk who has it worse but i wish women deemed to be "wife" "mother-of-my-children" -material weren't put on a pedestal. Why can't women be both? sexually confident and good mothers? i hate men. I've been feeling so low lately about not being curvy and voluptuous enough lately i went as far as to post nsfw content on reddit. It was just one picture, and it was way out of my comfort zone and i hate porn but man, i just needed to feel sexually attractive so badly. I still feel shitty though because i know people only complimented me because they're in the minority that like my type of look.

No. 789954

I want someone just like my ex bf, but someone who is actually not a wolf in sheep clothes

No. 789958

File: 1619216108031.png (1.19 MB, 1920x1080, 7E56764C-6AA5-43F2-AC07-EDDAB3…)

>>789917
>he’s so sweet
>his favourite is xxxtentacion
anon…..
>I have no idea what hes talking about
You should take the liberty of finding out sooner than later. If he likes any guy with a name sounding like “tekashi” “teriyaki” or “six nine” you should consider breaking up before it gets serious tbh.

No. 789960

I loved him, he was almost perfect but… he talked over me, he didn't bathe much, he farted a lot, he said I'm too depressed for him, I need to forget about him asap

No. 789969

>>789951
samefag bc ive been thinking a lot about this but, it's like if you're seen as respectful and a good girl (which my ex called me and i now cringe at thinking back) your SO is 9/10 times going to cheat on you with a "slutty" woman that they have no respect for. I want to start dressing like a "whore" so i can lure men in and then enchant them with my personality. But then i don't know if there are many men out there worth me going out of my comfort zone for.

No. 789974

>>789951
Ok, but why would you want to appeal to trash? You're so obsessed over making them want you but you're not even stopping to think if you'd want them. Men with Madonna-whore complexes aren't even human.

No. 789976

Being the black sheep in the family sucks so much. I try not to let it affect me, but there's just moments where it's so apparent and everything snowballs into envy and frustration. I can't change my childhood. I'm older now. I've been consistently comforting myself as an adult reminding myself I'm stronger and more independent for surviving neglect and abuse, but there's just those days when I am weak.
Maybe my independence isn't independence? Maybe I'm just constantly feeling like I'm being judged by my parents from afar, and I'm subconsciously just trying to prove to them I have it all together, but they don't actually care. I wish I had the same loving parents that raised my younger sibling to be as self-assured as she carries herself to be, but they never saw me in that way. I wish I could find parental figures to make up for what I didn't have. Maybe then I'll stop crying any time I see my sibling do things I couldn't bring myself to do because I constantly judged.

No. 789977

File: 1619217461810.png (516.29 KB, 679x750, A480EFC2-9F42-4EA6-82D1-FD36F6…)

>>787646
I’m so exhausted with myself. My boyfriend just threatened to break up with me because I get upset when he doesn’t want to hang out, which I do, to an extreme and it is understandable on his end. But instead of being calm and mature and normal I cry my eyes out because I get terrified I’ll lose him (this happens with anyone I’m close to, which is rare because I’m a autist and if you look in autism patterns in girls they usually have one close person they cling onto for social interaction and struggle without them) so, I’m crying and pleading with him that I will try to be better and please don’t leave me, and he starts laughing? which pushes me into full hyperventilation retard territory and I am fully rocking from the shaking and struggling to breathe and repeating like a madman don’t laugh at me please. It set me off because I was quite badly bullied as a kid and well, him laughing at me in that situation set me off. Eventually I calm down, we talk things out and he tells me he only laughed because he couldn’t help how happy he was because ‘I was cute like a puppy he had rescued’. I just don’t know what to do or to think man.

No. 789980

>>789917
>And his favourite is xxxtentacion
Oh, your boyfriend's favorite rapper is the guy that beat up women multiple times, including a pregnant woman? Interesting, fascinating, really makes you think.

No. 789982

>>789974
I want a meaningful long-term relationship with a man, men with this complex can't maintain sexual arousal with someone they're committed to long-term. I don't want to be seen as ~uwu pure~ i want to be respected despite being a human with natural sexual urges. I think most men have the complex. Granted i've only been with one guy, but you hear other women's experiences and it sounds similar

No. 789984

>>789982
it's nowhere near "most". you are exaggerated because you have been burnt in the past.

No. 789987

>>789977
Sounds like you have an anxious attachment style and that must be really hard for you. Just wondering, why are you dating a guy who threatens to break up because you feel rejected, laughs when you're having a meltdown, makes you beg for his attention, and then calls you a dog ? You deserve better than that. Please don't make excuses for him (e.g. "I'm too needy, annoying, clingy, irrational, and nobody else could love me, etc.") because that doesn't excuse his blatant disregard for your distress. If he really cared for you and the consequences of his actions, he would wait until you were both calm and stable to discuss breaking up. Instead he sprung it on you when you were already freaking out to torment and control you. You already know that this whole situation is wrong. I hope you can get out of this relationship before it gets any worse.

No. 789992

>>789977
At first he sounds like a prick and borderline abusive/manipulative if he actually threatened to breakup. But that last comment.
>‘I was cute like a puppy he had rescued'
That's just kind of sociopathic to be honest. As in literally no empathy. I'm not sure how someone could look at their partner sobbing and laugh in their face and feel so patronizing towards them.

How much is he aware of you being autistic and how you react to being upset with tears? Is this something you've talked about? If so, he's being incredibly callous and knew better to wait for you to calm down but decided against it. Not to say it's his responsibility to regulate your emotions but what he did obviously made it worse. Like other anon says, you definitely have an anxious attachment style. It is very well possible that you are too clingy but that doesn't justify his reaction in the slightest. I hope you both get therapy. And I don't mean that in a mean way, therapy is just so valuable and could save your relationship.

No. 789994

File: 1619218944986.jpg (48.43 KB, 583x583, DC4ghYeUMAAcus3.jpg)

>move in a house where 2 guys already live because rent is cheap
>literally the most coddled and spoiled guys i have ever met in my life
>one of the guys living there owns the house, which he got from his parents and works in his best friend's company
>i get into an argument with the other guy who's renting a room because i asked him to not yell in the middle of the night while gaming
>he got extremely upset almost started crying when i told him this irl (he's a spoiled only child so i guess no one has ever told him to not do something)
>we haven't spoken since 2020 & he avoids me like crazy after this "confrontation"
>the guy who owns the house hosts parties during the pandemic and his guests repeatedly come into my room in the middle of the night
>his gf at the time randomly moves my things, still don't understand why
>about 1 month ago he hosts a party from sunday evening and into the middle of the night
>i've asked him to notify me before hosting parties because i work full time, both weekends and weekdays, and also study full time
>has not notified me and his friends are extremely loud (not to mention, we are in a pandemic smh)
>i text him at like 1 am and ask if they can quiet down as i have to work for 13 hours on monday and get up at 5am
>he's like 'yes' but they only get louder
>i go downstairs and confront them, he's just quiet while his friends are very mean to me
>i start crying and go to my room because i'm overworked and sleep deprived

so a couple of weeks later i see the guy who owns the house as i'm walking to the bus stop and he just says 'hi'. i ask 'are you just gonna pretend like you and your friends weren't extremely disrespectful towards me?' he looks dumb af and says 'i'm not pretending' so i say 'if that was the case you would have apologised' and continue walking to the bus stop. both of my housemates keep avoiding me for a couple of weeks (these are 30 yo men).

and guess what anons! today the guy who owns the house sent me an email notifying me about ending my lease and telling me that i have three months to move out. this bitch didn't even have the balls to tell me irl smh. i'm too busy and tired to even be upset, i'm just very irritated and stressed. my family lives in a different country and all of my friends live far away so i can't like, crash at anyone's place for a while.

i have issues expressing anger and get really cold and mean instead. i want to point out this man's flaws so badly and really upset him. my friend said this would be bullying tho, but idk if i can hold myself back and not be mean the next time i see him irl.

No. 789995

>>789987
I don’t know. I do have a feeling that well, he’s not good for me. After all he stopped me from speaking to all my friends but one, stopped me from using social media and has me show him I’m not going against this. But at the same time I feel sort of, safe, in that he’s so obsessive because then I feel like he won’t leave me. I also don’t have the energy anymore to speak to others and make new relationships I’ll be honest. He does threaten breaking up a lot but I do feel as if he wouldn’t actually. Today it did feel different though. Ugh. I know it’s fucked up, I really do. Part of me wants to be free from it and forget and have my life back but I don’t feel as if I’m strong enough to leave him. Ultimately, I’m weak and hugely dependant and all I want is to be loved and have a family. He has always told me we would, that that’s what he wants and he only wants me in the world and then I feel special. He actually well, stalked me in a way, before we met. Not badly just, saw me online and kept up with me for a couple months until he approached me and we started dating. I ended up living with him, and moved in when I was 17 because that is legal where I live and my own home was, well a very estranged relationship with my family. I’m 18 and I’m still in school, he’s 20 and works and provides for me, so I don’t really know how I could leave him

No. 789996

>>789982
I think once you know what to look out for, they become easy to avoid. Especially because they're retarded and make it very obvious when they don't respect women. For example, any guy who critiques women about her appearance in any way is always trash. That comment your ex made should have set off huge warning bells.

No. 789997

File: 1619219697161.jpeg (376.32 KB, 750x924, 47CCC908-CE5C-477A-A3FC-5F4410…)

Hate websites like this. Neurodiverse people develop narc beliefs that they’re the supreme messiah aliens that everyone must embrace because they don’t fit into society and they have the ability to think rationally like a reddit fedora tipper. Human beings are a socially wired species and autistic people lack a hugely important facet that is required to live a healthy, sustainable life. There is nothing you can do about this, in fact I’m so tired of hearing that we need to rearrange society because of this minuscule thing, it’s just the way that we socialize with each other is becoming a detriment and a weapon. Being a healthy, adjustable human being is prime and sick of anarchists wanting some dirty, grimey society. Even in matriarchal societies there is peace, order, balance. Wish we did more genetic testing jfc

No. 789998

I hate that when I go outside after 8pm there’s always groups of middle eastern teenage boys standing in front of late shops to harass you, when you walk by. Like 15-16 year old kids walking up to you and saying dumb sexual shit. White guys from this country won’t harass you openly like this but I feel like they’re all turning into incels and creepy desperate nice guys, giving of super rapey vibes. Is this something that’s getting worse? Wtf is wrong with males?

No. 790001

>>789984
I hope you're right nonny
>>789996
I feel like i was too much of a prude at the beginning of the relationship. He said he didn't consider it cheating because we weren't formally exclusive, like, we hadn't had a serious talk, and that she was "just some hole". I don't know if he was only disrespectful thinking it would make me feel better, he also gave me worship-y compliments though, which further makes me think he has me on some pedestal and sees other certain type of women as dirty.

No. 790003

>>789997
>that pic
This is how you end up defending brony groomers, furry zoosadists, etc.

No. 790004

>>790001
>He said he didn't consider it cheating because we weren't formally exclusive, like, we hadn't had a serious talk,
Wait, so he cheated on you too… Come on.
>she was "just some hole".
Yeah, what the fuck anon. At least for the future you now know to cut out anyone who talks negatively about women, since apparently the cheating was a huge fucking red flag lmao.

No. 790009

>>789969
anon, you cannot win. i'm on the opposite side of the spectrum. i'm mixed race and live in a country where almost everyone's white. because i look "exotic" and am somewhat curvy men have been fetishising me like crazy ever since i hit puberty. it's not even about how i dress or how i act, it's about my perceived ethnicity and stereotypes associated to it.

idek if it's just the madonna/whore complex, i think most men these days have been ruined by consuming porn.

No. 790011

>>789995
This whole relationship sounds really stressful, with lots of ups and downs. You must use a lot of energy just keeping up with it. It's even harder because you're isolated from friends and family. I know what it's like to be tired and complacent so I understand being nervous about leaving. All I can really tell you is that once you have realised that this isn't good for you, the thought will never ever go away. On top of that he's going to treat you worse and worse until the things you liked about him have vanished completely. You're right that his threats don't mean he will leave you. First he'll suck you dry of all your resources and energy until you're nearly dead, and then he'll leave.

In the end, you make this decision for yourself. I suggest doing research into abusive relationships: warning signs of escalation, red flags, how to set boundaries, how to escape, etc. Even if you decide to stay, it's always good to have more knowledge on your side. Knowledge is power. You are autistic and traumatised and have been through a lot, but that doesn't mesn youre powerless or without resources. There is always someone who can help you. And there is a life outside of your relationship him, a happy future where you don't have to cry and beg to be loved. I'll be thinking of you nonita. I hope that you will find some peace.

No. 790014

>>790011
>And there is a life outside of your relationship him, a happy future where you don't have to cry and beg to be loved.
Not that anon, but I needed to read this
I just want someone to love me like I love them. I'm hurting so bad. I was prescribed xanax today because of how much anxiety I have.

No. 790017

The man that I loved was an idiot, and I need a hug. Please nonas send me your virtual hugs. I need them super bad.

No. 790018

File: 1619221371367.jpeg (72.82 KB, 640x761, C337FB60-79D5-4110-AE03-D3F762…)

Literally how are you supposed to compete when girls like this exist?

No. 790020

>>790018
I’m heavily convinced you’re a male. Begone scrote.

No. 790021

>>790018
You don’t, retard.

No. 790022

>>790020
I'm not but go off kween, everyone is a scrote

No. 790025

>>790018
Hey there. The curve on the side of the chair aligns perfectly with the curve of her ass. Photoshop, next

No. 790027

>>790017
hugs. you'll be okay, i promise. take as much time as you need to vent

No. 790028

I will kill scrotes.
Went to get my phone repaired, the guy seemed nice, but he ended up pinching my cheeks twice, saving my phone number, making sure that it was my phone number and then asked if he can call me.
I hate him, I will burn his shop down.

No. 790029

I slept like shit and I don't want to go to work. I really do not fucking want to. But I will!

No. 790030

>>790028
>he ended up pinching my cheeks twice
what in the fuck
Reminds me of my story of trying to get my laptop fixed just to end up having the repair guy try to aggresively flirt with me over (way to many for anyones comfort) texts.
Block his number and burn his shop, you have my blessing anon.

No. 790031

>>790018
Some people don't like fake women, there's a lot of people in this world with different standars and likes

No. 790035

>>789736
If joining a cult meant I would have a nice swedish guy loving me unconditionally and beautiful happy festivities with flowers, then, I might join

No. 790036

>>790031
The problem is most men do not think or recognize that as fake though

No. 790038

File: 1619222756576.png (997.62 KB, 712x534, 1619056098898.png)

In the middle of our lectures you literally can't even remember what you're trying to say or do…you can't recall why you set something up the way it's set up, and that's understandable (I guess!) because the thing we're studying is obscure and difficult as hell. But fucker, I don't get why you expect US to easily know things you don't even know when they're right in front of you for our exams. It's so retarded to me.

No. 790039

I’m on a diet right now, food addiction is too real. I’m not even hungry but it’s like there’s this awful gnawing in my chest urging me to go eat lots of toast, and chocolate. At this point I don’t even know if it’s the taste I’m craving, more so the act of chewing and swallowing and feeling full.
I know it’s one of those things you need to power through but I’m wondering if these feelings will ever go away. I remember talking to this older coworker of mine who had quit smoking like 20+ years beforehand and she said that she still had times where she would die for a cigarette. I know food cravings probably aren’t as intense as cigarettes, but in this moment it feels pretty bad. I just want to be slim ahH…

No. 790040

>>790036
Idk, it depends what kind of men you hang out with I think

No. 790041

>>790039
>more so the act of chewing and swallowing and feeling full.
Eat a spoonful of chia, it helps me

No. 790056

File: 1619225231709.jpg (506.02 KB, 641x697, 1617199718034.jpg)

i'm a total bitch lmao so feel free to call me out but i get so tired of hearing people act like their lives are capital o Over when their partner breaks up with them…when they've got so much other stuff going on.

like yeah, dude, you're doing well in school, have plenty of $$$ in the bank thanks to mommy and daddy, got plenty of actual friends to talk to and hang with, but some fuck-boy who looks no different from the other hundreds of fuck-boys at uni not fucking you anymore is apocalyptic. shut up please

No. 790057

>>790038
I-I'm sorry for your frustration anon but what is picrel from

No. 790060

>>790056
I love your picrel

No. 790090

If I could I would chose to die in this instant

No. 790091

My ex boyfriend basically ruined everything I loved for me, videogames, anime, soundtracks, youtube videos, lol. How can I go back to enjoying shit now?

No. 790098

>>790091
Enjoy things he hated to spite him

No. 790105

>>790057
Read or Die. It's an early 2000s anime by J.C STAFF.

No. 790109

My grandma died in Jan of 2020. Super suddenly.

I felt terrible that I wasn’t there for her cuz my uncles are POS who let her die in filth.

A year later I’m going to move in with a really good friend in a new city. However my friends mom is looking like she about to die from lung cancer and my friend is going to have her mom live with her for her last few months alive. She asks if that’s ok.

I see an opportunity to redeem myself by helping my friend’s mom pass since I couldn’t do that for my grandma.

Am totally all for it and move in.

Her mom does an 180 from deaths door when my friend move her in with her.

So now she is not going to die but she is a CRAZY, MISERABLE, hag who has melted her brain from all the crank she did in her youth. She’s not even 60 and barely does jack but watch TV all day and repeats horrible stories about rape, murder, and child molestation. She tells me these batshit insane stories of her being a fucking psychopath. Like following people around for 20 minutes and physically threatening them becuase they flipped her off on the highway

I feel kinda like a fucking asshole because I moved on the condition that she was gonna die.

No. 790111

>>790091
It’s got to be new stuff free from his faggy memory

No. 790113

I can't masturbate, and I want to cry why is it so hard???? I've tried for years and years and it just doesn't work??? Is my vagina broke??? What does an orgasm feel like???? I want to scream.

Oh well.

No. 790116

>>790113
Get yourself a Satisfyer.
I was never able to cum from masturbation using my hands (arms are too short lol) and this thing changed my life.
11/10

No. 790118

>>790116
How does the Satisfyer compare to a Womanizer? Cuz I have a Womanizer Pro and I adore it.

No. 790137

Someone just got arrested by 7 police officers in 3 cars right outside my bedroom window and I can't find ANY information????
It woke me up at 4am and I want to KNOW!!

No. 790140

>>790118
I honestly think they are basically the same just different name and distributor

I also got the pro version and honestly? One of the gifts from my Ex that I will definitely hold on to!

No. 790141

>>790137
Look and see if your local sheriff's site has a call log (Google (your county) sheriff office/call log). If not hop on Facebook and look for (your county/town) scanner feed groups.

No. 790150

I thought the whole "it's natural to find young teens the most sexually attractive because nature" bullshit was back in the 2010s. It pisses me off people still believe that shit unironically without any further thought. We've built a lot of shit in civilisation around the idea that nature is brutal and inhuman and yet people actually think we should go with it if they say it's natural. It's not even fucking historically or biologically true.

You know what's natural? Dying in childbirth. It's the leading cause of death for girls aged 15 in third world countries. Human brains evolved to be bigger faster than hips could evolve to be wider. Your fucking penis is not actually that good at making sound moral or evolutionary decisions after all. Socialising people so they grow up into someone you can stand to live in the same community with shouldn't stop at men's gross sexual proclivities.

No. 790151

i started taking prozac like a week ago and masturbating takes fucking forever and barely ends in anything mean while god. whats the point anymore

No. 790159

I feel so sorry for everyone in the world. Everything is so sad.

No. 790161

>>790151
It will be like this from now on unless you change your medication. I'm on Wellbutrin for that reason. Apparently it's a very common side-effect of Prozac.

No. 790167

>>790151
Prozac killed my libido, which was already low to begin with. There was a period of time where stopped taking it and it went back to normal. I'm back on it now but i really wanna try wellbutrin. (like anon >>790161)

Two of my friends are on it and apparently it spikes your sex drive…

until then, it's a choice of being somewhat mentally stable or being able to have sex again.

No. 790170

File: 1619239961695.jpeg (43.01 KB, 507x509, 03E7AEF9-674E-4348-9ABE-F1D082…)

I wish I could cry right now. Feels like I need to but I can't

No. 790189

Like I get my boyfriend is upset that I'm sleeping at weird hours because of insomnia and it's decreasing how much time we can spend with each other but it's not like I can help it. I literally stay in bed for hours, not even looking at my phone, waiting to fall asleep. It feels really shitty when I do get to sleep and wake up that I get greated to passive aggressiveness and he barely speaks me to me like I'm some how doing this on purpose. Like I get being kind of upset, I am too but like pouting and being silent is making it so we have even less time to talk. But of course I'll get blamed for that too.

No. 790191

>>790189
This sounds like my life right now. I finally got sleep but didn't wake up until my bf was going to bed and he got pretty upset… I wish he would realize that the more sleep I get the easier it will be to try and fix my schedule.

No. 790204

Fucking Facebook Marketplace is so messed up! I'm trying to message this guy who sold me an item and I explained I didn't have the cash on hand so we agreed to meet another day and he's not answering my messages. He hasn't seen them so IDK if he turned off FB notifications or what? I tried messaging him through his personal profile and I know for a fact it got filtered through so who knows if he ever sees that message too. Like, my bf is convinced I got scammed or something but I haven't even given him the money. Like, I am trying to give you money in exchange for an item you marked as sold, PLEAAASEEE respond!

No. 790208

File: 1619245804226.jpeg (148.41 KB, 750x385, ED68E309-3135-484F-A4FB-0EEB55…)

I literally can not stop getting blackpilled every time I look at the news. I want to quit being a woman and commit suicide. Mothers didn’t leave third world countries to still see acid attacks happen to their daughters. Imagine you’re on your way to become a doctor but then you got maimed by a scrote, you will live like this for the rest of your life.

No. 790210

said this before and will say it again i truly loose so much time to sexually fantasizing. i get distracted and then completely off track. fuck rona and fuck living back with my parents. could i find other outlets? sure but let's be real i want to mess around with a real fucking person instead of wallowing in my head.

No. 790211

>>790208
Yeah I heard about this, the situation is worse in Europe though
girls getting beaten, killed, raped and well Acid attacked by often their onw family members

Islam is a literal cancer and I'm tired of liberals even pretending that belongs in the modern age

No. 790225

File: 1619249319493.gif (591.35 KB, 160x184, tumblr_133ede06911ca6cfc965b7c…)

I posted already a few times about my friend and her stupid ass moid and they finally broke up, my wishes and prayers have been heard. They decided to keep staying friends though, and now he's passive-aggressively vague posting about their problems on social media. He didn't say anything explicitly, but with her having talked to me about their reasons for breaking up, it's not hard to fill in the gaps on about which problem exactly he is talking about. He just keeps putting himself in the victim position and goes on and on about her not trying harder, as if she didn't already go with this morons shitty plans in situations where you can't just go half-way through, where you either do it completely or you don't. It's taking all my strength to not go and rip his head off, so now my hopes and prayers have shifted from them breaking up to their friendship fizzling out and us never having anything to do with him again.

No. 790242

I want to have kids so bad but at this point i feel like it’s borderline abuse to make them live in a world like this. I know that sounds edgy but I genuinely mean it. I’d probably be a shit mother anyway

No. 790246

I hate men who are unnecessarily loud. Loud voices in general, but men who raise their voice immediately makes my blood boil.

I was out getting groceries today. I had returned some bottles lying around in my home and accidentaly dropped the receipt outside the store. I didn't notice before I was inside the store. A man in his late 40s or so starts shouting "hello" at the top of his lungs, so without knowing he was calling out to me yet, I just continued walking to avoid what I first thought to be a deranged moron. The shouting continues and he catches up to me, telling me that the receipt fell out of my pocket. There wasn't much I could do at that point since we were already past the barriers and would have to walk through the entire store anyway to pick it up. I told him I would get it and continued walking.

The man starts shouting "hello!?" at me again and follows me. He proceeds to explain how bottle returns work, and how I should go get it before someone "steals" my money. It was just a few bottles and I honestly didn't care at that point. I told him I would pick it up if it was still there when I was done shopping, but that it really wasn't that important to me. He gave me an angry look and left. The receipt was gone, of course, when I came back out.

I probably wouldn't have been so dismissive of him if he had just calmly informed me instead of shouting and explaining like I don't know how bottle returns work. The moment I hear a man being loud in public, my instinct is to avoid them, so I got really mad when he decided to make a big deal out of something so trivial.

No. 790249

>>790246
What a stupid cunt. He just wanted an excuse to sanctimoniously bellow at a woman in public.
I once had to tie my dog outside a supermarket, and I did so and made sure she was in full view of the cameras in case someone tried to steal her. She was quite near the entrance but not in the way. She also loved people and would try to get their attention when possible. When I came back outside some fat old man was stood next to her loudly saying “you’re completely cruel for putting your dog there, she doesn’t know where to turn, she’s scared of all the people. It’s animal abuse” I tried to explain about the camera and he just interrupted because it didn’t fit his narrative that I’m a horrible dog abuser. He suggested a different place to tie her lead that was far away and hidden from the camera and nobody would of seen her being stolen. Whole time he was speaking as loudly as possible so everyone could hear what a fucking hero he was, yet if I was a tall man instead of a young woman he wouldn’t of said a peep. Coward.

No. 790251

>>790150
Growing up I’ve always heard it around me as : it’s natural to find sexually matured women/men attractive regardless of their age. Of course I’ve only ever heard it applied to women, but It would work the same for men and actually think it makes sense, some times teens do mature physically very quickly and you can’t really tell how old someone is. It’s still gross to pursue something with a teen, and that shouldn’t be encouraged but at least the attraction part made logical sense.

Yet when I grew up what me and my friends experienced IRL is that looking like a preteen gets you way more attention than looking grown up. And in the Internet I saw all these bullshit justifications that being attracted to teens because they are teens is natural, which makes NO sense at all unless you’re a pedo and a predator.

My conclusion now is that gross pedos are everywhere and should be shamed to hell and back.

No. 790253

>>790246
I feel kinds sad. A few bottles are important to this man because of the loose change. He thought you might be in the same situation as him and wanted to do you good.

No. 790254

>>790253
If that was true he would of got up off his ass and given it to her, instead of expecting her to leave her place in the queue and trying to humiliate her.

No. 790256

>>790249
That sounds like a nightmare. It was brave of you to attempt to explain to him, though. I just try to get away as soon as possible because I know whatever I say is going to be used against me. I've worked in customer service enough to know that men who need to be right will take everything you say and throw it in the garbage just to make themselves feel good.

The fact that he was waiting outside to confront you about it proves he didn't care about the dog at all, he just wanted to yell at you. If he was that concerned about your dog being abused he would have gotten someone involved, but no, he just wanted to make himself feel good.

No. 790257

>>790254
He was expecting her to do what he would've done - jump straight to get the receipt/money. Then when she didn't do that he tried to explain why he thinks she should.

No. 790301

>>790246
>The moment I hear a man being loud in public, my instinct is to avoid them,

biggest same.
It's awful when men think they're charming when they're loud and invasive, and then play the disappointed and offended role after being totally pushed away. It's straight up scary sometimes, mostly annoying and kills my vibe. I've never been rude to a man who comes up to me politely to ask me a question, but I'll sure as hell respond negatively to someone making a ruckus for no reason.

sry for blog, but big relate

No. 790343

Can someone explain to me why I feel dead and not alive? Like everything is surreal to me. It feels like I’ve been dead for a few years and that everything feels fake.

No. 790345

I'm happy I'm still a virgin and didnt give it to him.

No. 790348

>>790225
I needed to read this, thank you

No. 790349

My YouTube channel was terminated for calling despicable males in the comments section expendable scrotes and unwashed male scrotal sacks, and I told one in particular he should've been an aboytion and that his mother should be refunded for the expenditure of genetic material she wasted on creating him because the thing, or whatever he is, turned out to be defective and a disappointment. Also told another one to chug on clorox. Apparently that's sufficient reason for a YouTube account of 4 years to be terminated with immediate effect despite not producing video content. And given that YouTube's AI/ bot allowed these comments to be successfully posted, they were deemed acceptable for the community that they weren't deleted/ censored. So each scrote who seen these comments couldn't take it and was such a snowflake, they mass flagged my comments and/ or channel.
Meanwhile YouTube allows sex bots, sexually explicit app advertisements, child predators/ pedophiles, channels dedicated to misogyny/ hate speech and harassing women, gore, doxxing and porn.

So nonnies how do I make a new YouTube account that won't be recognised and deleted? Delete cookies, vpn and new gmail account not linked to the old one? I plan to leave youtube and will be moving to other platforms to watch content, but there were videos on youtube from channels I won't find elsewhere so I want to save those vids. Will create one account for watching and a seperate one for attacking deserving scrotes.
Deleted a whole load of google apps from my phone and greatly limited my use of google search engine and browser.

Oh and yeah, fuck scrotes, fuck YouTube.

No. 790351

If I pray to god to be killed, is it suicide? will it happen?

No. 790352

I did yoga without trainers yesterday. I feel like I'm experiencing the free trial of arthiritus. I was supposed to clean up today too…

No. 790354

I want a truck to misteriously kill me

No. 790355

>>790351
Isn't god not vibing with suicides?

No. 790393

I made someone fell off their motorcycle today, I thought no one was behind me. I apologized and helped her up with her stuff, she did yell at me but it wasn't something mean but I cant help but feel like the biggest asshole ever.

No. 790400

>>790351
Don't pray for suicide anon, if you're at the point you want out what's the worst you could lose if you try and pull yourself out of the hole youre in? Love you.

No. 790406

Why is everyone on here suicidal lately but not even talking about what makes them feel so hopeless? And just posting stuff like "I wanna die"? It's incredibly sad. I hope they're talking about it somewhere even if it's not here, like in private journals or with friends.

No. 790412

Kek I just looked up all the girls in a group of friends I had for a little while in college, who where all rancid bitches: would say evil things about each other behind their backs, would bully this one girl in the group even though she bent over backwards for them, had nothing nice to say about any female unless she was sat right there in front of them, hung around with a bunch of nasty, deviant scrotes and didn’t care about their shitty behaviour despite claiming to be feminists, eventually ostracised me for wrongthink and went on a smear campaign calling me homophobic and racist over some petty bullshit….one of them even borderline abused her little sister, bullied her, smacked her in front of us and then told us all graphic details about her sex life….said nasty and bitchy things about her own baby sis…These where the most horrible, negative group of women I’ve ever met in my life. Guess what? They all have either she/her or she/they in their bios, bc they’re soooo fucking woke of course and wouldn’t want to trigger le precious trans women that they don’t even know, yet are horrible and judgemental to all their own friends and family. The one girl in the group that they bullied and made fun of, her dad died recently. I reached out to her and she explained that they stopped talking to her when he was dying in hospital because she was “being negative” and “taking it out on them”…more like exasperated from all the degrading and passive aggressive shit they do to her and their constant demands, because her father is dying….they’re the wokest women you will ever meet though. Black Lives Matter! Lgbtqa+! Trans women are women! Stop Islamaphobia! No integrity, no substance, just fake and evil.

No. 790414

>>790406
I wonder if it's because of the pandemic? It's already proven that the pandemic has had a lot of impact on the mental health of youth and young adults and this website already attracts mentally unstable users in general.

No. 790416

File: 1619269242680.jpg (12.65 KB, 750x483, 1502987352007.jpg)

My grandma died yesterday early morning in a hospital after she was brought into it for 2 days for pneumonia, and even though her condition got much better, she ultimately died suddenly of another health issue related to her heart. The last time I saw her alive was a week ago where I gave her a half-hug and my last sentences to her were kind of awkward and a short phone conversation since we couldn't visit her because of corona.
Now my family is only my mom and my grandpa, who both cry and vent almost non-stop to me, which there is nothing wrong with and a good thing and I'm glad to listen.
But at the same time, I'm so exhausted..
It's selfish, and I would never do that, but.. I wish I could just escape. It's too much, I don't know how I can keep up being the "solid one" for another few months or years. It took me almost an hour today to get out of bed, my body really feels like it weights 100 pounds more.
My grandma was like a second mom to me and she was the only person who was similar to me, listened to and understood me, even when she didn't always agreed, she took the time to get my perspective without judging me, and vise versa too. Both my mom and my grandpa are the polar opposite of me either in personality or in values.
My mom just keeps repeating the same 4 sentences over and over and over again while sobbing hysterically and crying for her 'mommy' like a child, and I know it's because she's just that hurt, but it's starting to annoy me. I know it's awful, I would never tell her that or permit her from sharing her feelings because it's good for her grieving. But I feel so overwhelmed. I wish I could talk with grandma about it.

No. 790417

>>790406
it is spring time and anons are not used to the temperature fluctuating so often

No. 790418

i hate white women jokes. i'm not white, but you just KNOW everyone who makes these jokes is a closet misogynist who would say these things about ALL women if it was acceptable. same as people who make jokes about "white gays". just because you found a way to couch your dumb joke in woke sentiments doesn't make it less bigoted.

No. 790419

>>790416
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish you had someone you could lean on for support. Hopefully it doesn't get too overwhelming. Youre in my prayers anon

No. 790422

>>790418
same, not white, but seeing general statements prefaced with "cishet" "white" and any variation of the above is just someone sugarcoating their misogyny/homophobia. i'll even say they're racist because i've seen these types react to something a black or brown person did and just start saying "god i hate when white people blblblblb" and they're literally describing something they saw a non-white person do seconds ago lmao.

No. 790425

Its bothers me that men in their 20s-30s use heart break they experienced in middle school and high school as an excuse to treat women like shit…yes, kyle your highschool sweet heart was a selfish bitch but she was also 14.

No. 790426

File: 1619270496080.jpg (90.75 KB, 678x760, whyme.jpg)

Why does it take so long to see any progress on the scale when you're dieting/exercising consistently? I know harsher workouts and sore muscles make you retain water but it can be so demotivating to step on the scale in the morning and see 0 progress/even an increase in number when you just KNOW you're losing fat.

No. 790427

>>790416
My condolences anon
hugs

No. 790428

>>789676
thank you, anon. honestly i'm not very mentally well right now so i'm just going to either wait it out and get something out of this relationship or just become stuck in my own misery. i talked to my mom's therapist and she just told me to "communicate" and that i seemed "jealous of him spending time with her." i'm a 19 year old woman who was left in a random strange area without my phone and wallet while he went to hang out with his ex fwb and her family an hour away. why is everyone in my life telling me not to be mad, although i feel so awful for even feeling a little bit furious about it. i don't even know what to do right now because i'm so used to this.

No. 790429

>>790426
How about tracking your measurements in addition to weighting yourself?

No. 790432

>>790428
>why is everyone telling me not to be mad

Because we live in a society where men can do anything in a relationship along as it's not sex and if you say anything you're jealous. It's cool girl syndrome

No. 790437

>>790428
Him saying he wasn't really attracted to his ex and that it was purely for sex are both conflicting statements and lies to make you less suspicious of him spending him with her. Your mom's therapist is a dumbass

No. 790440

>>790426
Is you know you're losing, why do you need the numbers? I have an unhealthy relationship with the scale so I judge weight loss by how my clothes fit, and once a month I use the scale at the gym that shows my muscle mass and body fat %. I'm at the stage of my weight loss where I'm maintaining my overall weight because I'm gaining muscle, maybe that's you too?
Also, general weight loss and health tip: you're probably not eating enough fibre. I find this helps so much with my food choices and motivation if I have enough fibre from various sources.

No. 790442

>>790437
Nta but no guy is gonna drive 40 minutes to see a ex fwb hes not attracted to

No. 790444

>>790428
Mum's have a tendency to just say the most obvious shit to you when you're mad lol. Like no shit you're jealous that while you were freaking out he was at his ex fwb house chilling. Although in defence of your mum you should communicate how you feel. I get you didn't want to make a scene with him but when you two were in private you should have told him it was odd. He promised to pick you up and have the day together, at the very least he should have had your phone on him if he was minding it in case something happened and someone needed to call. I suppose the therapist is trying to placate you because you're 19 and don't need to waste time of a dude that's an idiot.

No. 790452

>>790349
Youtube is the actual worst

No. 790455

>>789994
That's so frustrating, anon! I hope you can hurry and get out. Trash the fuck out of the place before you leave. Trash it hard

No. 790456

>>790418
Not white either but same. Literally free pass.

No. 790462

File: 1619273037014.png (818.82 KB, 721x528, beyonce2.png)

DAE have bouts of depression where you're entirely unmotivated to do anything, feel unloved by everyone around you, and are hurt by the smallest comments, followed by equally long chipper moods where you're hyperproductive, in love with life, and connecting with people? Now my good moods are marred by the knowledge that I'll inevitably slip into depression again with nothing to stop it. I know the usual advice is to switch up my routine, but there's little I can do, especially living in a country where the pandemic is still keeping everything closed/everyone inside. My therapist has gently suggested antidepressants, but as an option to explore with a psychiatrist (she's not licensed to prescribe meds), and I get this "impostor's syndrome" where I feel like I wouldn't qualify for such a drastic measure just yet.

No. 790463

Another day in this hellish earth just to suffer
I'm not "too depressed", he told me I could trust him with my issues and I did. And then he ran away when he figured out I'm not always a rainbow and sunshine. He ran away because I'm depressed…

No. 790465

I don't want to continue living, lol, if I died of a random heart attack I would let it happen gladly, and I wouldn't feel bad about dying young, or unacomplished, I would feel actually pretty good because at least the final years I was comfy and my mom loved me.

No. 790466

God just wants the best for me and he'll know what to do and how it happens. This hurt is nothing… hopefully, next time, I've learnt my lesson.

No. 790467

I really can't imagine my life past 25, all I can do right now is sleep. Sleep and hope for the better. I'll get my prescribed xanax soon, hoping that helps my anxiety.

No. 790469

I hope I can get a nice girlfriend next, instead of a shitty scrote that said he never loved me because I'm too depressed

No. 790470

>>790452
NTA but youtube is the actual worst. I deleted my account and I'm not coming back, it's a waste of time and space

No. 790474

>>790462
I am the exact same way anon. I don't have any useful advice (particularly none that I myself am able to stick with lol), except I try to make the most of my good, productive moods, although I also find that that can make the bouts of depression worse because I know I can get things done, keep a routine, etc and now I just can't for some reason. This isn't helpful at all, but just know you're not alone in having these changes in mood! Hopefully you find something that works for you. Good luck anon!

No. 790475

I hate him so much I hope he chokes

No. 790480

I feel like shit I just need a hug

No. 790482

I hate the fact that men don't have a natural expiration date when it comes to being able to conceive and how entitled it makes them feel. They shouldn't be able to breed after 45. Sure, kids of older fathers are at a higher risk of genetic diseases, but men are still technically able to conceive until they die, unlike women. Picasso had a child at 70 (with a much younger woman, of course). Fucking disgusting. Evolution made a mistake.

No. 790483

>>790482
Men were suppose to die sooner the bastards. Thanks science.

No. 790484

>>790474
That's comforting to hear, thank you nonny! Hope you make it out of there, yourself!

No. 790487

If I make a tiny mistake when I tell the news about something, there's always this Discord nerd who starts rudely telling me that I am wrong and UH AKSHUALLY. Can you just say that calmly instead of being aggressive and trying to debate bait me? Jesus.

Was talking about an anime gacha game, said that x-type of characters gets y. He starts yelling that only legendary x-types get y. Sorry that I am too sleepy to remember a 3.5 hour long stream about a gacha game with shitton of info. Jesus.

No. 790491

I think I'll kill myself before going to work, maybe
I just can't live like this anymore, so much pain everywhere

No. 790492

>>790487
This just happened to me with being wrong about the country a singer was from and a random discord teenager jumped down my throat and called me racist. So I accused him of misgendering me for calling me "guy" and when he got snippy the mods warned him. Get reverse uno'd

No. 790493

File: 1619275563950.jpg (5.14 KB, 225x225, ..jpg)

I think I may have killed both of my snails. I just got them. I genuinely don't know what to do right now

No. 790495

>>790493
hang in there, it's gonna be fine

No. 790496

>>790491
Anon I’m so sorry, please take care/contact someone close to you that can, at the very least, be there physically

Hang in there, even just for a bit more

No. 790498

The amount of suicide related messages on LC within latest - I believe - 24h hours is really terrifying and upsetting. Anons, or anon, please get help. We can't help you here, I wish we could but we can't. Please call a helpline, just this one thing. I hope whatever makes you feel like this stops.

No. 790499

>>790496
I think I just won't go to work today and tomorrow at all, it's giving me a lot of anxiety

Basically I got dumped by my boyfriend for being too depressed haahhaha I'm like hahaha well idk what to do now. Guess I'll die

No. 790503

>>790498
I'm sorry, I'm one of the few suicidal anons. I've been suicidal forever, since I was 13, and it's hard not to be when something goes very wrong. I have no one to talk about these things because I'm a burden. All I can do is vent here. When I say I have no friends, family or partner to talk about my depression to I mean it. It's tiring to be like this.
I can't trust anyone because trusting them with my depressed thoughts is just going to make them depressed and anxious. It happened. I was dumped out for this just some days ago. He said I could trust him but then he said he never loved me because I'm depressed and compared me to his sister's ex gf who also is depressed and now I don't know what to do. He said the ex of his sister is happy in another relationship now. Idk I loved him a lot. But for him I was nothing but a maybe. I just don't want to be a burden to anyone anymore, I have no one to rely on anymore.

No. 790505

>>790499
Anon if you're the one spamming the board about your depression and suicidal thoughts maybe your ex had a point

No. 790506

File: 1619276192490.jpg (278.48 KB, 1920x1200, descargar.jpg)

I'm watching the OG higurashi because I have nothing left in my life and I love hanyuu and rika so much. I wish I had a hanyuu following me and telling me everything will be okay and to defy fate. Hauuhauu
I actually had mental problems like this in secondary school. I used to hear voices but those voices were mean to me. I don't believe in DID or anything like that, it was probs just my anxiety. But if I could I would love to have a nice voice in my head telling me I can do anything I want in life. Yes I sound insane sorry.

No. 790507

>>790505
I'm not spamming, I'm barely here and I have no one else to talk to in any case

No. 790508

>>790505
Shut the fuck up.

No. 790509

>>790505
I don't know or care who is spamming but I agree that they're contributing to their own misery. I really wish they would stop posting about it and go to a forum actually intended for suicidal discussions. Or at least get a diary like damn. It's creepy as hell and honestly very disturbing.

No. 790510

>>790503
This sounds so lonely, I can imagine it's really hard. But I hope despite wishing to die you have at least a little bit of leftover hope for the future. Even though you've been suffering for a long time, it still doesn't mean it will always be like this. Your best life is still ahead. The person that will be your friend and support is there too. You should live to see it all finally come together for you one day.

No. 790511

>>790510
Thanks anon, it's just so damn hard to wait things out as I see other people (like, my ex bf) being happy and pursuing other things, pushing me away for something like depression, which isn't fully in my control

No. 790514

>>790509
Isn't the vent thread for venting? come on

No. 790515

You stupid bitch stop wasting time on lolcow and work on your essay!

(It's me - I am the stupid bitch)

No. 790525

I wish the right one came into my life already, the one who will feel like he/she fits, the one who will protect me from danger, the one who will hold my hand and never let go. If I could only trust…

No. 790526

>>790514
I'm not trying to nitpick. Of course the vent thread is for venting. But in the past day or so someone has been posting their suicide ideation all over /ot/ in stupid questions, confessions, dumbass shit… everywhere. Wishing they had cancer and asking how to get it and shit. As someone who's been suicidal since early childhood I have empathy for them but at a certain point it's legit disturbing. It doesn't help that lolcow is the weirdest place to suicide bait and seek that kind of attention.

No. 790528

>>790526
Just ignore and hide the post with the [-] mark then, let the anon vent

No. 790530

>>790526
I don’t think it’s one anon…idk if you’re new but bitches here including me are cray cray with their ocd spammings. I wish I could stop. Hope it becomes a bannable offense but I don’t know where else I can get good criticism from snarky girls or women.

No. 790532

>>790499
>>790503
I don't know what to tell you anon because I'm also suicidal, and usually every "advice" people have for you is something that you have already tried. For now, finding a hobby and trying to be good at something is the only thing that "helps" imo, but only temporarily. I just hope that one day something will give us a purpose in this life, or maybe we will find some peace after death, or maybe we will be happy in another life. Don't mind that anon shitting on you, this is a vent thread. It's not like your venting will truly affect anyone.

No. 790533

>>790515
kek it's me too anon thanks

No. 790534

>>790530
>Hope it becomes a bannable offense
If that becomes a banneable offense then all the boyfriend talk and antinatalist shit should get banned too, but then no one would talk about anything

No. 790535

For the first time in my life I feel like I'm being treated poorly in my workplace due to how I look. I have always worked in female-dominated workplaces but no one was ever catty and rude towards me like this. It sucks because it's almost laughable how I stupidly put in way more work than I'm being paid for, even the person who basically acts as my assistant (coincidentally male) is paid more than me and he refuses to do the work I do since we aren't being paid to.

I want to describe the nature of my job but it's a little too specific so I'll just say education. I'm roughly the same shape and size as the 12-14 year olds and I dress a little weird (but so does another woman who is much more well respected) so I genuinely think people are treating me like this because they see me as a stupid kid, yet I take this job more seriously than anyone I've met. Man I wanna cry lol

No. 790536

>>790534
antinatalism is based

No. 790539

>>790535
How do you dress? maybe dress for the job you want and then on your weekends dress however you want?

No. 790540

He was controlling and manipulative and wants me to have a happy face about it every single day, I think it's not gonna work

No. 790562

So glad we don't have gifted kid programs where I live because they're so fucking annoying on social media

No. 790569

File: 1619281199856.png (320.73 KB, 500x376, tumblr_oxzq4nTEOB1toque5o1_500…)

>be 12
>meet girl who is very similar to me
>happy
>we talk every single day
>be 18 and lose contact with everyone i know for suicidal thoughts
>be 19 and no word for her
>be 20 meet up with her again finally
>she said she cut contact because i did first. but that she wanted to be back in my life.
>my ex hated me having friends, also why i cut contact with people
>she said my ex gf (who was sort of friends) told her i hated her. my friend was talking to my ex gf and not to me, cause my ex gf told her i didnt i cut contact cause i didnt like her and complain about her all the time
>she fucking lied
>my friend tried multiple times telling my ex gf to talk to me because she wanted to fix things
>ex gf said i always said no. but i had absolutely no idea this was happening. and it was stupid of me not reaching out to her. but i also thought we were in bad terms for some reason.
>finally do talk again
>she thought i hated her and i thought he hated me
>but actually we loved each other very much
>happy
>we talk every single day like we used to
>be 22
>i had a thing with a man who was horrible to me
>i had a huge fight with her over him
>accused her of things werent true, it was a misunderstanding
>apologize
>says yes
>i cut contact again over THE SAME FUCKING STUPID GUY
>i come back
>she doesnt respond
>tried reaching out like 3 or 4 times in 2021
>no response
>constantly feel like shit for putting a stupid scrote over my friend
>tried one last time to send her a text, thinking i will be ignored again
>she replies
>i apologize so much
>she actually listens. says she wanted to send me a message too since a few days before
>we become friends again
>we talk every single day
>have with friend i love
>happy

this year ive cried many times thinking of how much i fucked up. i missed her terribly. i will never let a scrote get over any of my friends again. there are scrotes anywhere. besties are hard to find.

No. 790574

I hate my body so fucking much and wish I were dead.

No. 790576

>>790444
>>790442
>>790437
my dumbass trying to save this and asking him if he wants to go to the fucking zoo or go out to eat because we didn't get to do what i wanted after my testing and all i get it "i can't spend any money right now, sorry honey." its a fucking.. it's a zoo.. i just want to see some god damn animals for a few bucks man. i'm not even worth the zoo, but the gas to see your ex is? ok. i want to explode.

No. 790579

>>790419
>>790427
Thank you anons. It will get easier eventually, I'm sure.

No. 790581

>>790530
>I don’t think it’s one anon…idk if you’re new but bitches here including me are cray cray with their ocd spammings.
NTA and i'm not by any means a veteran but I'm on /ot/ almost daily for 1,5 year now and I've never seen anything like that suicide spamming recently. It's abnormal af.

No. 790583

>>790581
It must be corona and quarantines.

No. 790584

>>790569
I fucking hate my Mother in Law! If I could tell her I would. She talked my SIL into naming her new bb girl practically the same name as my disabled daughter. Fuck her and fuck them both.

No. 790585

When I feel suidical and depressed it's not like I want attention, but that the pain is so unbearable. I don't know how to deal with it alone. I know the techniques but like it just hurts too much. I wish I was dead

No. 790593

>>790462
>>790474
Uhh nonnies are you sure you don't have bipolar disorder because that sure sounds like it. T. Bipolar II

No. 790595

>>790462
That's bipolar kek
T. Another bipochan

No. 790599

>>790593
>>790595
Bipomind kek. May your mania be productive and depression short-lived fellow bipochan. I love you.

No. 790610

Can I get a genuine "I love you" nonas? I just need to hear it

No. 790623

>>790610
I love you anon.

No. 790629

>>790610
i love you anon and i hope everything is okay

No. 790643

>>790610
Anon I bet I speak for a lot of people here when I say "you are loved" and your existence is a gift. Even if you may not feel that way. But damn I sure do! You are deserving of love so don't forget:
I love you Anon.
And I truly hope you will find a reason to smile today.
(Try saying the word Bubble pr Bubbly aggressively- I truly think it's impossible and it always makes me laugh in the end)

So yeah~ YOU GO ANON! YOU GOT THIS! WE LOVE YOU!

No. 790659

I understand my surges of hatred towards my mother are just aftereffects of stress by my upcoming finals, because I've also silently been hating everyone from my professor to a friend's dog to [insert living thing causing me minor-major issues here], but I still feel bad about it.

It doesn't help that she insists on calling me to talk about absolutely fucking nothing but what she ate and the men that are giving her trouble. She sounds like a goddamn highschooler despite being in her fifties. I don't think I ever even had as much guy/social trouble as she does now.

No. 790662

>>790610
You use this site which means you're a sexy beast and for that I love you nonny!♥

No. 790663

I just feel this close _ to hanging myself today, but somehow, I'll manage, I guess I'll manage

No. 790666

>>790659
Actually, on the subject of my mother: I discovered a diary I kept from the ages of 14 to 16 and unearthed so many fucked up memories from this woman. It isn't like she ever beat me or whatever, but from the constant scream-downs to weird mental mind games she played it may have been better if she did just whip me with a belt, idk.

No. 790669

>>790663
FUCK YEAH YOU MANAGE!

If you can't find a reason to be hopeful for the future, just stick around a little longer to see what happens. If hope for better days doesn't seem to work, try curiosity.
There are a lot of shooting stars happening at the moment all around the world, stick around and watch the stars fall down.

I don't know you but having lost close ones to hanging, I mean it when I say I'm glad you're still around. I really mean it.

No. 790688

>>790463
Well there's your mistake anon, don't fucking trust men.

No. 790698

>>790610
We are strangers on the internet, how can it be genuine?

No. 790700

I'm so sorry, I'm so so so sorry, I'm alone and I have no will to continue, I'm so sorry. Goodbye nonnas, I'm so sorry. I wish you all well.

No. 790701

>>790698
Because maybe we don't know her personally, but in the moment we genuinely feel that way.
I want her to feel loved and damn it if nobody else is there to say it I sure as hell am!
So heck yeah I genuinely mean it when I say "I love you Anon"

No. 790704

>>790700

Please stay Anon

No. 790706

I got pinned between a guy at Walmart and the shelf and I freaked the fuck out bc my ptsd makes me lose my mind whenever I’m even slightly stuck. Why am I such a freak it’s been years. I’m like a fucking child

No. 790708

I'm disgusted with anons taste in old scrotes when I check the related threads on /g/. I really hope it's just other scrotes roleplaying otherwise it's hopeless.

No. 790709

>>790700
Anon! Please stay and we will talk here with you, you can vent all you want.

No. 790710

>>790505
based. it's painfully obvious that it's the same anon making multiple posts about getting dumped for being "too depressed" because nobody replied at first:
>>789588
>>789960
>>790463
>>790469
>>790499

No. 790712

My dreams lately are all weird scenarios where my ex from almost a decade ago is back in my life and abandoning me on repeat every night. I have no idea what has prompted this to start up again. To add insult my now deceased mom is always a background character in these same dreams. She's dead about ten years too. FFS brain. Torture me with something more current.

No. 790716

>>790710
Do you think they are the same anon as the one a few posts before you?

No. 790728

>>790708
tbh i feel that thread has devolved into shitposting from people who want attention
which is upsetting because i liked genuinely posting in there

No. 790761

Is it weird that it literally took me 15 years to accept that I was sexually abused when I was 4 and actually talk to my family about it?

It feels strange talking about it out-loud for the first time. I used to flip flop between it being a weird dream but honestly, I won’t ever forget the way he made me feel and the very paralyzing fear I felt. I want to reach out to him, I want to ask him if he really did it but who’s to say he won’t deny it. He has a family now and I don’t want to ruin his life over something he did when he was a teenager.

No. 790780

>>790761
Im surprised your family didn't hunt him down and interrogate him when you told them tbh. Alot of people don't tell family because people take it into their own hands to either punish them or report it.

No. 790789

well I tried to hang myself but I got too chickenshit
might go try it again just now.

No. 790791

>>790780
I think much more often people don’t tell family because they’ll be told they’re misremembering, or so-and-so couldn’t have done anything because he was such a nice boy, or they’ll be asked what part they played to invite the abuse.

No. 790794

My shit fuck bf talked me out of planning something with my friends bc he didn't want to be alone and wanted to hang out…and then he ditched me to hang out with his friend leaving me alone. Fuck moids i fucking hate men i hope they all die

No. 790795

>>790794
I hate him too, what a dick. Go hang out with your friends one day without him, payback style.

No. 790804

>>790794
They do this on purpose to isolate you. Go hang out with your friends.

No. 790805

>>790789
Why? What's troubling you anon? Don't go to extremes when there could be possible paths and solutions to your problems…

No. 790836

i cant fucking believe it. i go blahtherapy to vent and some retard reports me for swearing. fucking pansy.

No. 790845

>>790794
Fuck him
But like not in the good way.
More in a he can fuck right off way

No. 790851

File: 1619301334747.jpg (466.91 KB, 800x1120, tumblr_m9srkk78DR1qc2eojo1_128…)

It has been years since the last time I read fantasy book. When I have free time and energy to read anything, I always feel like I need to study or just read something "useful". No more. I already downloaded entire Wheel of Time series on pdf, and once this nightmare of a semester is over, I am going back into the land of sword and sorcery.

No. 790871

i have a fear that even if men (ie my bf) say they're completely fine with you not wanting to do a certain sex act (ie anal) and are understanding and considerate about it, one day they'll just end up cheating on you with someone who will out of resentment or whatever the fuck. jesus christ man

No. 790894

File: 1619304137813.jpg (152.47 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)

I was watching some Crash Bandicoot video and in the new game they changed how this character looks because it's a different universe's version of her, and all the comments are just 50% she's SO THICC and 50% waaahhhh they made her a sjw with blue hair disgusting.
First of all shut up she is a mutated animal and she kicks ass and saves everyone and the only thing you can say oh boy is she thick. And second of all she is totally wearing an 80s inspired outfit! She has spiky hair with highlights to complete the look, not because she is a sjw. I guess I will forgive them because it's probably kids commenting anyway. I hope so

No. 790897

>>790894
The colors are extremely tacky and I find the haircut hideous. but at least she doesn’t look like a fetish bimbo

No. 790898

I hate living with trauma. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this so much. I want to heal and grow and flourish. I want it to finally leave me be.

No. 790900

>>790761
It isn't weird, and my heart goes out to you. Do whatever feels right, but be wary that reaching out might not be as satisfying as you would like. Closure comes in many ways and it's such a long, tiresome process to achieve it. But it's there, and you're strong. You're here, you're active and alive, you're amazing even with the horrible thing you experienced. You're so capable, you will live a healthy and happy life regardless of what you decide to do and what the outcome will be. It's what you deserve and what you'll get.

No. 790904

>>790894
She looks like a capcom character, kek.

No. 790910

>>790894
i think the first two designs are the best. hate that modern lady designs have all their femininity removed, it's so boring

No. 790913

>>790910
>feminine = generic blonde bimbo
she's still feminine

No. 790919

>>790470 What do you use nonnie instead of youtube, what would you recommend?

No. 790926

File: 1619306889855.png (101.62 KB, 419x427, 1603662128600.png)

>out with friends and my bf and their bfs
>friends all take group selfie while I was busy doing something
>their behavior seems to really exclude me
>feel like shit the rest of the night
>a-at least I have bf

I just need new friends but it feels impossible. This group I've been friends with for several years that I made during my mid 20s, but it's clear that they're kinda drifting away. They do things for each other and see each other, and I'm just the friend they invite to outings that happen every few months. Also based on their backhanded negging, they think they look better than me and don't want me in their pictures. I never feel good about myself when I hang around them and I feel it's a sign.

No. 790929

oh my god I hate myself so much. I'm failing a course by 3% and the teacher emailed me and said I can make the percent up by submitting one small thing by 5 pm and I read it two hours late I am actually so stupid and the thing I had to do was so easy too. I completed it and submitted it late and the teacher seems nice but there's no guarantee i'll pass i am so DUMB but I mean it is college it's not that big of a deal but I still want to melt into the floorboards

No. 790933

>>790929
I feel you anon. I was supposed to send my bachelors thesis to my teacher for approval today. I am maybe halfway through, and final deadline is in 5 days. I keep procrastimating all day and then panic and work on it during night, so I have not slept properly in weeks, while having almost nothing to show for it. I fucking hate myself and my lack of discipline.

No. 790945

i told my roommate's mom (who is our landlord) that i'd do yardwork in order to find a new roommate quick before she found someone off craigslist. doing the yard work would cheapen to rent bc she wouldn't have to hire people to do it anymore. i said this bc all our prospects said they couldn't afford full rent and the mom was saying she was going to find someone off craigslist who could pay rent, and she couldn't promise it wouldn't be a man. i told her i really did not want to live with a man.
I find a new roommate myself, who is black. me and og roommate are white (this is important to the story). when the new roommate moved in, i didn't hear anything from the mom about yard work so i assumed they were just paying full rent because they said they could do afford it, but it would be easier on them to pay less bc they are a student.
me and the new roommate were talking the other night and they said they were doing yardwork for the house. this confused me as i was supposed to be the one doing yardwork w the og roommate in order to not have a man live with us, and i thought the yardwork thing wasn't a thing anymore. they also said their rent was $700, and thought they were paying $50 less than me and our other roommate. i was like wait, we're all paying $700, you're not getting a deal. my white roommate and her mom had our black roommate doing yard work under the guise of cheaper rent

No. 790947

>>790933
The teacher accepted my work!! I'm sending you my good vibes anon. You're halfway done and that's better than nothing. As a procrastinator myself I know how shitty it is but do whatever you can to get yourself through it

No. 790951

File: 1619311166378.jpg (517.32 KB, 750x933, 26mbfan7ad111.jpg)

I am about 5'5 and just checked my weight…125 pounds. I've been binge eating so much the past few months. No wonder I weigh so much. I want to lose 10 pounds but I keep on binge eating due to stress from my family and the stupid dog we have. I hate my fucking life so much and I want to kill myself. I wish I had the courage to overdose on the Xanax and painkillers I have. I'm heading towards obesity.

No. 790953

>>790951
calm down anachan. 125lbs at your height is fine.

No. 790957

>>790951
>125 pounds and 5'5
>I wish I had the courage to overdose on the Xanax and painkillers
Shut the fuck up, I'm shaming you.

No. 790960

>>790951
you’re literally my dream weight dumbo

No. 790961

>>790951
Why is the dog making you feel like you have to binge eat?

No. 790963

>>790960
>>790951
my dream weight too and i weigh less than this. we're the same height. anon seek help, lovingly

No. 790964

>>790961
Because we shouldn't even have her at all. My brother got her and barely anyone has the time to care for her. She's an extra weight on my shoulders.

No. 790965

>>790963
I just feel like I will spiral and gain more like I have before.

No. 790967

>>790965
then don’t. simple as

No. 790968

>>790964
Pets are a huge burden, it's irritating when people just push that responsibility onto others. Also, I understand the feeling of being on the precipice of slipping into bad habits and things spiraling out of control from there, but at least you're catching yourself binge eating before it gets worse, that counts for something I think.

No. 790970


No. 790976

How do I get over my narcissistic ex friend?
I'm deeply affected by the relationship we had. I can't just move on and be happy, it doesn't work. I need real help, therapy didn't work either. They say everything happens for a reason but I don't understand for what reason this relationship happened. Every time I think about sth he said to me I immediately feel like crying. I can't sleep, can't eat and can't think logically when I think of it.
I even considered taking my own life. Please! If you ever come out of such relationship and feel great tell me.

No. 790978

>>790976
what did they do to you?

No. 790980

>>790976
I guess what I’ve done is minimize that friendship, so what if they were shit? We didn’t know better back then and we probably thought we deserved having such a friendship before, but now we have to take care of ourselves and do our best in life.
That means being able to recognize people like that friend we had before and to keep such people at an arm holding a prosthetic arm’s length, which means never ever giving a shit ex-friend even the slightest opportunity to talk to us.
Block them everywhere and if they look for you, even irl, disregard their existence, they don’t deserve you because you’re not mentally ill like their ugly, toxic ass.
At least that’s what has kept me completely fine about shit friends.

No. 790985

>>790968
Thanks for the kind words anon!

No. 790986

>>790980
I did stop talking to him anon! But it haunts me when I'm alone with my thoughts. I know I don't deserve this, I've been a good friend but it took me such a long time to realize the position I was in. I think there's a lot of damage happened inside me.

No. 790988

>>790951
Obesity isn't the end of the world, deathfat.

No. 790989

Sometimes I wonder if I should reach out to my ex-friend because her actions were classic bpd-chan and I know she's made a lot of strides in the last year but she also hasn't reached out to me either. It hurts. She fucked me up with her actions and betrayal but she was also going through the worst time of her life. I have fucked up similarly before and was forgiven, something I'm so grateful for. I wish I didn't miss her.

No. 791000

>>790951
I'm your height and 5 pounds more than you. You're good.

No. 791001

>>790989
Damn if this ain't me too. I just miss the way things were and what could have been. Reaching out might not give you the closure you're looking for, especially if you're dealing with a bpdette.

No. 791004

>>790989
reach out while you still can. I lost one of my best friends to an overdose. I hadn't spoken to her for almost 2 years when she died. we had an explosive argument and one of the last things I said to her was "good luck with sobriety" in a sarcastic bitchy way because I knew she was struggling with addiction. she said a lot of extremely hurtful things to me too. my biggest regret in life is that I cut her out completely and did not even attempt to make amends. after she died, her boyfriend told me that she would talk about me a lot and cry about how things ended between us. she died thinking that I hated her, and I have to live with that for the rest of my life now.

the fact that you posted here about your friend indicates that you care about her and she is still important to you. it sounds like you have compassion for her. maybe she hasn't reached out to you because she's embarrassed of her actions and thinks that you would not react favourably. I miss my friend so much and I would give anything to let her know that I love her, and to be able to talk to her one last time.

No. 791006

I hate bloating even when I’m dieting / in a calorie deficit / taking fiber supplements / cutting sodium my stomach can never chill out fml

No. 791008

My family tends to lean more right, and I'm tired of always hearing the same conversations and same conspiracies being talked about over and over again when they get together. They sound absolutely batshit insane.

No. 791010

>>791004
>she died thinking that I hated her
I'm so sorry anon, please don't blame yourself for this. You had to take care of yourself just as much as she should've been working on her own issues. I understand wishing you had the opportunity to let her know you still cared though, it's a sad situation all around.

>>790989
Having had extensive experience with someone suffering from BPD, I would say reach out as well. Her disorder is likely making her assume you never want to hear from her again, especially if she's been getting better and is keenly aware she fucked up. She probably thinks she's doing you a favor by staying out of your life. The question for you is, do you feel that way too? If you're happier not dealing with the stress of wondering whether she will or won't stab you in the back again then keep your distance, but if you think you'll be able to take it slow to see if she's improved and maintain boundaries so you aren't hurt again, she could very well be in a different place now and feeling the same way as you.

No. 791018

File: 1619324810837.jpeg (19.73 KB, 350x360, 718A87B0-4BBC-4255-AD99-8E891D…)

my books got delivered to the wrong address by dhl so I’m going to cry myself to sleep. I wish I was dead negl.

No. 791025

I'm ready to die anons. I read about porn and saw the sick misogynist coomers defending women getting thwir heads beaten black and blue, why do men hate us so much why why why, why do we exist only to suffer, they hate "sluts" who are trafficked or manipulated women in their porn, they think all women are like their porn yet all I and all the girls I grew up with did is be normal human beings with aspirations and love and empathy, and not that it matters because I know these girls are being misled into it but so many of us aren't even like that, why so they hate us all when girls are so sweet and lovable with more worth to bring the world than these sick men. Even "sluts" are in the hands of men who are the very same level of promiscuous. God I wish I could cease to exist I can't take it anymore I'm really scared with mkst men watching porn ans going deeper and deeper what is going to happen to us when they all are jerking off to us being destroyed for doing nothing but existing and THEM finding us attractive. I didn't choose to be born with the parts the world shames us for not covering (and I do cover it with loose shirts and everything) why must men punish us because of their own selves

God I'n sorry for the sperg out. I hate life

No. 791031

18 and I’ve been losing my hair for 2 years. Pretty sure it’s genetic so there’s nothing I can do about it, looking forward to being bald by my twenties. I’m so depressed and upset about it, I feel unlovable and worthless.

No. 791032

>>791031
suplmenets for hair didn't work? or hair restorers?

No. 791033

>>790593
>>790595
OP here, damn do you think it sounds like bipolar? Whenever I consider mental disorders I always brush it off like "I might just be exaggerating/overdramatic" kek. Nonetheless thanks for the observation, I might bring it up with my therapist!

No. 791034

>>791033
Everything you wrote matches the disgnosis to a t, even the part about having impostor syndrome. Read up on bipolar and definitely bring it up with your therapist!

No. 791036

>>791032
Tried literally everything under the sun and nothing works

No. 791039

>>791031
that sucks. hugs. maybe lean into it and get some cool wigs? you can look any way you want any day of the week.

No. 791040

>>791031
exact same situation here anon, sending love

No. 791043

>>791031
Have you tried consulting a doctor yet? For all you know you have some underlying health condition that needs to be treated or it could be fixed easily with vitamins or something. If you're in the position to go see a doctor, I really think that's the best thing you could do.

No. 791059

My mothers faggot colleague is being horrible to her despite the fact that she’s the manager and has bent over backwards to cover for his sheer incompetence over the years: drug addictions, hypochondria, rude behaviour with customers etc. This is why I hate faggot men they think they’re so amazing but they’re actually hopeless without women there to manage them, and they’re so entitled they think they can bully women out of their jobs after everything they do for them.

No. 791064

>>790348
Don't know about your situation, but glad my rant could help

No. 791068

What should I do now? Everything we did at my home was work and be a better self for my grandmother. And now she’s dead? What’s even there for if I can’t tell her that I got my own car, that I got her the pizza she likes or that our dog has puppies?
I honestly don’t know what is it even for now, my parents and my aunt worked really hard to make our grandma love like a queen and we failed her, I just want to go to sleep and wake up in a few days, hopefully that will make me feel better.

No. 791081

I feel "behind" my friends financially. They either come from well-off families who helped them tremendously, or have husbands who take financial care of them or set things up for them.
I did the "right" things in life yet all I have are massive debts and mediocre pay, and my parents are shitheads who made bad financial decisions themselves even if I wasn't written out of their wills at this point. I love my boyfriend and we are getting married but the fact is he is not rich. Despite being older than me, I currently make more in pay than him. People assume things are fine with me based on outside appearances and me never complaining, but they're really not. It's like I'm hanging on by a thread.

Really I'm exhausted in a way that's hard to put my finger on.
Like, I'm on a financial hamster wheel because even if someone like my bf is there for me, he can't really help me or carry any burdens if I fail. If I was ever sick, or just burned out, I'd lose any nice things I'd ever worked for up to this point.

No. 791089

>>791068
Now you honor her memory, with your life and your actions.

No. 791094

All I want is to get married and have a steamy sex life, but I'm seemingly unable to fall in love with anyone and it frustrates me

No. 791107

>One shot at life
>Born a lesbian in fucking Pakistan

Fuck Western Islam apologists.

No. 791115

I want to do the bpd thing and send my bf pictures of my self harm to make him feel bad for ignoring me but I shouldn’t do that, right? Fucket I’ll probably end up doing something worse later.

No. 791117

>>791107
I hate seeing my exmuslim sisters struggling :( Honestly thinking of marrying my third world exmuslim friend so I can bring her to the UK and get her out of that mess. I’m sorry anon ♥

No. 791118

>>791094
Same. I wish I could skip the "falling in love with a guy who loves me back and dating him for a few years" step.

No. 791119

>>791115
Don't talk to your bf now, take the photos to calm the urge of doing so, give yourself time to breathe, calm down. Go to the bathroom, clean the wounds, take your time - maybe even take a bath or a shower? If you look back at the photos after you've done all this I'm sure you'll not want to send them anymore. It's not a good idea and you already know it. I hope you'll manage to calm down and talk with your boyfriend about whatever caused you to do this later, without resorting to things like that. Be strong, I'm thinking of you and I know you can get through this without doing stuff you'll regret.

No. 791121

>>791119
Thank you anon that was such a thoughtful response, I thought I was just going to get hate for being a retarded bpdchan. Taking your advice, gonna calm down and go out with my mum so I don’t do anything stupid. You’re an angel ♥

No. 791123

>>791121
Many of us here have been in your place I'm sure. Great idea to go out, hope the rest of the day will turn out nice!

No. 791144

I just feel so frustrated and angry and empty, I haven't cut myself in probably six or seven years but I want to do it just to do something. I hate getting hit with this bitter, destructive kind of boredom out of nowhere.

No. 791168

downloading a friend finder app has been a real confidence booster because it re-assured me that Im not as socially stunted as I thought I was compared to some people ive spoke to. Someone was sending me like 8 messages at a time talking about themselves and how hot they think they are regularly diverting the conversation back to that instead of trying to further the conversation.

No. 791172

>>791107
Fucking hell that hit me hard. I'm a lesbian in Algeria so a bit better but not by much. Sending you hugs anon, we'll get out one day

No. 791173

File: 1619353312469.jpeg (34.49 KB, 400x333, 658B8E2D-7639-47E3-ABC8-D1A675…)

>>791115
Had you both been fighting for a long time before he started ignoring you? Did you blow up on him about something? Sometimes people just need some time to themselves to process. I have some bpdchan traits like rejection sensitivity, self harm and suicide baiting when people don’t make me feel loved enough, and I find some people just need a break from the intensity from time to time. Otherwise they will just start getting angry and make things worse.
I’ve showed off self harm to hurt people before when I was younger and it always devastated and upset them. It actually haunts me that I did that so pls jus think about how you’ll feel in the future. You will calm down eventually. Love you nonny hope you’re ok.

No. 791186

It hurts knowing that you literally are unloveable and nobody would even care If I were to disappear. My whole life I was and still am getiing abused (physically, emotionally, verbal) by my entire family. Ever since I can even remember, my days were always dark and horrible filled with suicidal thoughts. I don't know what it feels like to be loved but it hurts to know that I will never experience this feeling. I always try my best to be a good friend and do my best by being always there for them and spending as much time as I can. But I am just entertainment and never just more than that. Nobody truly cares for me and leaves me when I need them the most and only comes back when I am back to ''normal''. I always chase people and in despair I try to cling onto them because since I really don't want to be abandoned and left behind. I always put people over myself since I am somehow hopeful that they might be a person who could truly care for me and be there for me. I am anxious about befriending people and am constantly asking them If they truly like me and whether I annoy them because I just know that there isn't even the smallest possibility that someone could be friendly to me without expecting something in return or someone who doesn't have bad intentions.
I also can't talk about this with anyone since everytime I told someone about my problems it just firedback and because I don't have anyone I could even talk to. People always just ignore and ghost me when they see me suffering. I just want to be looked out for but even that is too much to ask for. I have had the intense urge to cut myself as a cry for help in hopes of someone somehow noticing it and caring for me. I know how pathethic that sounds but I am really trying my best not doing that even though its hard. I engage in kind of self destructive behaivor always in hopes of someone noticing but even when people notice they don't care and question it. It all makes my heart ache.

No. 791187

My father is white and my mother is black. I look 100% white, red hair blue eyes freckles and everything, but my father constantly makes racist remarks to my mother and I. He made me so anxious and miserable about my race growing up. I don't know how the fuck to get support for this because no one will take me seriously and people always assume I'm just a white girl trying to feel special and oppressed. It's really frustrating. I promise this isn't racebait I just don't know where to talk about this without getting laughed at.

No. 791223

The last few days there was an alert in my country, a 14 year old girl went missing and it was thought that an 18 year old guy in a stolen car had her and was driving to a neighbouring country (without a license) with the girl to do god knows what. It lasted a few days. Everyone was looking for this model of car. All the reports kept saying she was 'at serious risk'

They were found. He's now on bail and staying with his parents. His lawyer simply said that the parents are 'very supportive of him' … Is that meant to comfort us?? Is that meant to comfort the girl who is stuck living nearby this guy right now. Why tf would that be an important statement to make. Sure is nice when parents let their adult scrote sons away with shit and just pay the guys way out of trouble. How comforting. No biggie that the whole country was looking for this girl. He's home with mammy and daddy again. Just like that. I know he's awaiting trial but ffs.

No. 791232

File: 1619360324515.jpg (102.93 KB, 750x560, cat-name-generator.jpg)

Not sure where this belongs, but i sent a nude video of myself to the guy i'm seeing. At worst i expected him to not really like it. Well, it was much worse than that. He became so paranoid that gmail would accidentally detect the video i sent as cp. So i replied with why would you even say that? And he went on to say because i am flat chested and look too young in the video. He went on to say that he knows i'm an adult woman, but he doesn't think AI would think that. Anyways, I felt so hurt from all of this. I'm just a petite woman. I can't help it that puberty did nothing for me other than make me hairy. This is what i get for trying to be sexy FML.

No. 791236

It's all gone…
Everything I wrote in the past few hours for my thesis is gone.
I have to hand it in tomorrow before midnight.
I could only recover 2 paragraphs, the rest of the document is gone. Usually im constantly saving everything multiple times and back it up in different documents as well as sending my bf most of my drafts via email to read over. I was really in a good flow and just wrote…
The document just randomly closed, this has never happened to me before. I've even wrote all of this on my gaming PC. Mostly for the comfort that multiple screens bring but also this thing has never crashed before… I tried every possible recovery process but nothing…
I have a backup for about 75% of my work but the other 25% are just… gone…
I've gotten a total of 3 hours of sleep over the past 72 hours. I was so excited to just put the final formatting touches on it tomorrow. Before writing this I've been staring at my monitor for 10 minutes. I'm not crying like I usually would. I didn't scream. I feel so incredibly defeated. I need to go out and smoke now

No. 791237

>>791232
AI detects cp now? Does he think of you as of underage person when he sees you naked? I can't imagine this worry even occuring to me if I wasn't thinking that in the first place

No. 791240

>>791236
That's horrible, I'm sorry that happened

No. 791250

>>791232
Just me or is it kind of weird and/or telling his mind goes there in the first place?..

No. 791251

i have so much homework to catch up on and i have to accept i'll probably be failing or barely pass my most important class this semester. farmers yell at me stop being a little shit and get what i can done.

No. 791255

I get so pissed when someone else starts cooking while I am cooking. Sharing the kitchen is the worst fucking thing. Wait your turn, bitch!

No. 791256

>>791236
Oh my god, this literally happened to me yesterday. I was doing data analysis for my thesis, left computer running while going to take a shower, and when I came back everything I had open was closed, with the exception of internet explorer that I dont even have installed on my computer. Turns out fucking Windows decided to autoupdate and restart when idle.

No. 791257

>>788341
Girl watch the vagina monologues, there are women who don't even know WHAT THEIR VAGINAS LOOK LIKE.

No. 791258

>>791250
It's disturbing AF

No. 791260

>>791232
He sounds fucked in the head. Smaller chested (or even totally flat) petite women aren't so insanely rare that it'd require that reaction.

Maybe I'll sound paranoid here but I learnt in the past that when men bring up connections to pedo-shit at times when it makes no sense to make that connection… there's a reason they have CP on the brain

No. 791263

File: 1619363093792.png (1.45 MB, 1510x884, Screen_Shot_2017-11-10_at_10.3…)

Can someone save me from this black hole? I'm constantly going back and forth between reading FDS and watching MGTOW/blackpill/incel videos. I feel so mentally drained and hopeless. Are all heterosexual relationships like this? Where can I find normie men who don't care about politics and don't spend time on social media? Everything is so coldly calculated and politically ideologized now. Are FDS women just failed women the same way MGTOW are just failed men? It looks like the normie healthy people find their matches when they're in their 20s and there are only bitter rejects left and they're the ones producing all that content. I'm scared that if I won't find anyone before I hit 30, it's over for me, I can forget about finding someone who's not a fuck up.
God fucking damn it watching and reading all that shit really feels like opening to a demonic attack kek. I'm in my mid 20s and I've never dated anyone and this is my only source of knowledge about modern dating, this and anons complaining about their scrotes here. I'm afraid my brain has been irreversibly damaged and I won't be able to trust anyone now.

No. 791267

>>791263
"Healthy normal" people unfortunately are all boring tradlifers who post videos and posts about their babies. There's a difference between not actively trying to find a relationship and those who are but just can't (because they are bitter losers). Don't force yourself into something too soon and don't give into peer pressure. Incel/MRAs are pathetic because they have no hobbies, skills intelligence, empathy, compassion, contentment or humility to make them a well-rounded human being. I love stalking fringe areas too but it gets to you because of the misogyny and sickening fatalism.

No. 791269

>>791263
Anon for your own good, get off those sites and if you can't the internet in general. People aren't just black and white like those weird ideologies want you to think. All of this is so far removed from reality. People can be and are fulfilled being single in their 20s or sometimes 30s. There is more to life than some obscure world view where if you don't have someone to fuck you're fucked. If you find out who you are and what you want from life, you'll be able to find someone who vibes with you and maybe feels the same way. But if you continue reading and watching stuff like that, you won't be able to even see that.

Turn off the computer Anon.
There is a whole ass world out there with billions of people, each one of them being a completely unique individual with dreams,fears and story.

No. 791272

>>791263
>I'm scared that if I won't find anyone before I hit 30, it's over for me
I got out of a bad relationship at 29, started my 30s feeling energised because I hadn't realised how much that relationship had sucked the life out of me. It had turned sour so slowly that I somehow struggled to see the misery of it all. I thought I was just depressed in myself. I wasn't. I got off meds as soon as we split and I was fine again. My early 30s being single easily topped any point in my twenties.

Being in a bad relationship is infinitely worse than being single. Women don't hear that enough. All we hear is this bs pressure to settle down before a certain age. Don't settle down if it isn't amazing. Sometime amazing can be temporary too and you can still start over with someone else..at any age. People divorce, move on and have blended families. It's not realistic to think most of will settle down in our twenties and have a permanent partner for life. Statistically most people won't experience that.

No. 791274

>>791263
My exes grandma had a boyfriend at the age of 80 something. Life doesn't stop at 30.

No. 791284

>>791263
>I'm scared that if I won't find anyone before I hit 30, it's over for me, I can forget about finding someone who's not a fuck up.
Have you ever asked yourself who benefits from this mindset? Does this really lead you to a stable partner who respects and understands you, or is this something that one of those reject loser dudes want you to believe so you'll settle?
Being single is an option. Being with a guy who isn't perfect but still checks off the majority of your boxes including the parts where he respects and loves you is also an option. You're not doomed because you're turning 30, anon.

No. 791295

>>791263
First of all, neither FDS not incels are representative of their respective genders. Stay away from that shit, there is nothing of value to be found there.

>I'm in my mid 20s and I've never dated anyone

I would start here. Why have you never dated anyone? Did you never had interest in anyone, or nobody was interested in you?

No. 791298

>>791295
>Why have you never dated anyone? Did you never had interest in anyone, or nobody was interested in you?
I was homeschooled most of my life and later I never interacted with the opposite sex, I don't socialize at all, I work from home, I don't have any social media etc. The only irl interactions with males were: shitty men in my family, some boys who bullied me when I was 11-12 because I was autistic, older men who tried to molest me and my male teachers. That's it. I have no idea how someone like me is supposed to date. I can't hold a conversation with another human being. I don't have any "life experience" and people usually bond over that. I would either miss all the red flags or see them when they aren't there etc.

No. 791303

File: 1619368236005.png (202.93 KB, 407x243, Capture.PNG)

I wish my boyfriend would stop bringing up his weight on camera and encouraging me to take up his bad habits. He has a bad history of ana-chan and binging/purging and I understand that, but since we've become LDR he's gotten worse about it. We saw each other for the first time in six months just recently and I burst into tears about how skinny he got and he was happy about it and saying how he's better now than he's ever been. I on the other hand have only gained weight, and he said it doesnt bother him but then he offers to pay for a gym membership and tells me on my days off he'd happily 'be my trainer' on facetime…and he also reacts very negatively if he catches me eating 'bad food'.

I'm not a pushover, I've called him out multiple times and even reasoned with him about how he's harder on himself than on me, but he refuses to see it as a negative thing. It doesnt help that his career also reinforces his ED and body dysmorphia. For example, he's 6'2 and they told him to lose ten pounds when he was 180 lbs.

Vent over, I could go on but I just needed to tell someone, because if I tell anyone IRL they will react very negatively because a lot of my friends don't like him very much to begin with.

No. 791305

>>791298
What about hobbies? You could find friend group through that. Join some club or something. Or maybe autism support group. If you live in some area where these do not exist, find similar groups online. Checking them on Discord might be good https://discordservers.com/.

As for dating itself, find which dating apps are popular where you live and give them a try. Find a guide on the internet about how to make a good profile. But most importantly be yourself. Communicate your desires clearly, and dont let anyone to pressure you into anything you dont want to do.

No. 791312

File: 1619368762790.jpg (812.28 KB, 3024x4032, aba9e0366ebcff435ff37ea95c946d…)

i wish every professor that didn't schedule their assignments to end the week before finals week a very good die. why do i have so many due dates the week of finals why is university so much fucking work. i wanted to spend this week studying shit but i guess i won't have that chance! fucking retards

No. 791315

>>791298
another good way to meet people is volunteering, you don't really need to have any skills or anything and it attracts people from all walks of life

No. 791319

>>791303
Gee, I wonder why they don't like him? Maybe listen to your friends.

No. 791348

The coffee shop I liked going to got bought out and the replacement has a dumb sounding name and looks really unprofessional

No. 791361

Anybody else here struggling with their own sexuality due to bad experiences in combination with opposing ideology and late blooming?? god this is confusing and guilt-inducing.

No. 791389

>>791361
Yes but for me it's likely from being on antidepressants since puberty. I have a low libido and can't tell when I feel attraction.

No. 791391

File: 1619374934267.png (1.34 MB, 968x805, 192347.PNG)

When my stomach starts to hurt up to like 9/10 pain I think about jumping out of my window to end it all. It's like a hopeless lovecraftian existential depression switch gets turned on and there is nothing I can do to manage it except wait for the contraction to end. In just those 3 seconds of the pain revving up from 0 to 9 its like I forget why I bother living, loose all love for everyone I know and just want to shoot myself in the face. It hurts so bad, all I can do is cold sweat and focus on a single molecule of myself that isn't in pain. But as soon as the cramp fades away, I'm fine. I'm happy even. My life is back to being great and full of joy and normal. It's just disturbing to think how little it takes for me to give up, it makes me feel so incredibly weak. I see people on youtube that have chronic illness make entire videos with a smile on their face while they suffer through several dislocations or cancer or just even more extreme pain than I can fathom and I feel so weak.

No. 791519

How do I deal with trauma ????????????????? I can't stand that when I'm asked about previous sexual experiences in an innocent way everything comes rushing back and washes over me. I was saving myself, I want to be clean, I thought I was better, when will it stop feeling this way? I never know what to answer. I can't bring myself to lie. The moment the question is asked the relationship seems ruined. It feels to me as if the raft the two of us were on broke and I am drifting away as they turn their back to me. I'm broken and dirty, in their eyes. Nobody can know it happened, but I can't be close to someone without it becoming known. It will eat me up somehow and I want to kill it so it can't do so ever again. I can't stand this. I can't stand these memories. I can't stand this.

No. 791532

I don't want to be traumatised, I don't know how to respond, healing is slow, I can't remember…. end of samefag btw don't worry

No. 791550

I was binge watching a bunch of vids about a poor 14 month old toddler who was killed 20 odd years ago. The mom went to a party and had her bf mind the baby (at his request) Appears he was the killer.

What I find strange is how many people comment on how terrible and neglectful the mother was (ffs she called the house every hour) meanwhile the guy that killed the baby…broke his arms first.. sure what do you expect when you leave a baby with a man? It's funny how men are quick to call other men predicably shit in incidences like this but men also generally hate those assumptions being made. We want women to be perfect dutiful mothers but men will kill babies and that's almost 'to be expected' How do men think so highly of themselves and simultaneously expect other men to kill babies for no reason, as if that's a just a male thing we should prepare ourselves for.

I had lots of feelings but am poorly typing them out tbh. Its like when men resent being viewed as creeps or with suspicion but if you get sexually assaulted they quickly blame you for walking down the same street that has a man on it. Pick one.

No. 791551

>>791519
Trauma is best worked through with proffesional help (as in theraphy). If that's not an option for you, maybe a self-help book?

No. 791560

>>791551
Which books? I'll start reading them tomorrow

No. 791562

>>791519
Hey anon, you dont have to tell anyone anything if that hurts you. If they are normal, they will accept the answer that it's too hard to face for you at the moment. I hope you're getting professional help to deal with it, or at least plan to do so!

No. 791563

>>791560
NTA, but you're dealing with sexual trauma right? This one was helpful to me: The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Wendy Maltz. It's on Libgen.

No. 791577

>>791563
Thank you, anon, I am actually reading that one right now! I have a lot of other trauma unfortunately (I'm not proud to admit it), so books that are about trauma that isn't sexual are also good.

>>791562
Thank you, I unfortunately will not go to therapy again.

No. 791579

A mutual friend told me about my exes downwards spiral and I was so tempted to drive by and check on him. I got a little choked up talking to my friend about him. Like people are starting to see him for the mess he is which is of course vindicating but I still care. It was the hardest break up of my life and even though he hurt me and I tell people I wish he was dead, I just wish he was well. But then I did also just continue on my merry way. I'd probably get sucked in to the misery again.

No. 791585

I hate how I look smiling in photos. Half the time I look dead inside if I smile with my mouth closed but I only smile with my mouth closed because if I smile with my teeth showing, I think I look stupid. I'm so jealous of my friends who can just pull a big bright smile and look so good and happy in photos. I don't have a gummy smile or anything, I just think I look stupid as fuck. Even some of my friends who have features deemed bad like a gummy smile or crooked teeth, I think they still look really good in photos smiling with their mouth open. I don't think it's my mouth, I think it's just a problem with my face looking weird. Not in a 'the camera is warping my face to look ugly' type of weird or that I think I'm super ugly, it just when I smile in photos it looks particularly terrible.

No. 791590

>>791585
>Even some of my friends who have features deemed bad like a gummy smile or crooked teeth, I think they still look really good in photos smiling with their mouth open.
I think the problem is your perception of yourself, anon. No one judges your looks as much as yourself. I do this same thing, and what you said in the quote clued me in because I also don't judge others' flaws, only my own. It's our self-esteem.

No. 791646

I had a full on panic attack today due to the fact some random dude started yelling at me while I was walking my dog near my house. I live in a really shitty area but never in my life did I think I would hear what the hell came out of that man's mouth. He wanted me to put my dog up against his fucking dog? He literally asked me if I wanted a dog fight. My dog looks like a pitbull but he's not so I'm guessing he just assumed…something? My dog is a big baby and was watching the guy because he was on a bicycle. When I told the guy to fuck off he told me no and that he'd be back with his dog and how I should stay right there till he got back. When he first started shouting at me I thought he was yelling that I stole his dog or something; but as soon as I heard dog fight I started panicking because I don't want anything to happen to my dog and I got even more scared after he said he'd be right back because I have no idea how close he lives so I fucking LEGGED it home with my dog. I was just starting to get used to being comfortable taking him outside because I live in a really shit area but maaaannn.

No. 791648

>>791579
I'm sorry nonny, I don't really have any advice, just wanted to say that I relate. I wish it was as simple as painting people all black or white, but even abusers have their good qualities, which is how you get attracted in the first place. My ex isn't right for me and hurt me a lot, but I still want him to have a happy life. As the saying goes, we shouldn't set ourselves on fire to keep others warm. They're adults and they've got to learn to care for themselves rather than pushing their pain onto others.

No. 791649

Today’s my day off and even though I actually talked to people for once and it’s nice enough outside to do stuff I feel like crap from my period and allergies

No. 791653

>>791579
I feel this anon. I moved coasts and I get tempted to check on my hot mess ex who hurt me most, but I always manage to stop by reminding myself how validated he would feel if after all this time I still think about him. They aren’t worth it but you had a connection at one point so it’s natural to feel the urge to go back.

No. 791679

Oh shit my bf ratted on his friend to his wife about cheating on her. They've been friends for 20 years and the friend is PISSED but idk what the guy expected to happen telling my bf kek. He can't keep a secret to save his life. My bf is actually pretty distraught over this. He's close with the friend's wife and feels sick he's bailed him out of situations with her where it's obvious now he was probably cheating. His other friend's are kind of annoyed over the rift this might cause in our social group but I'm glad he told her. I would feel pretty upset if I knew he knew but didn't do anything.

No. 791681

Saw my ex got a new gf on facebook and it kinda makes me wanna go ape shit tbh. I noticed that, compared to all the other girls he's been with (white), she kinda looks like me (brown skin, dark hair to her hips). I wonder if it's just a coincidence? Or maybe…

I remember him talking about his ex before me and thinking what a cruel person she was for hurting this poor, wounded baby! Then I got to know him more and her actions started to make a lot more sense. I wonder if his new gf will also learn how pathetic he is and leave. I'm hoping I get to watch it happen if she does.

No. 791713

>>791679
That speaks so well of your boyfriend! I imagine it's really hard for him but he did the right thing no matter how difficult. He's a good, honest person, you're lucky.

No. 791717

File: 1619390740516.jpg (35.16 KB, 700x492, 59436032_1014828282044501_5503…)

I'm a self-hating introvert that does her best to mimic how she thinks extroverts act.
I wish I could be as impulsive and have an easy time talking like the rest of my family and friends. I must give out the weirdest vibes.

No. 791732

>>791717
if it gives you any hope anon i used to be like this and i am now an authentic extrovert, fake it til you make it works. keep trying and putting yourself out there!

No. 791771

File: 1619393059154.jpeg (283.47 KB, 567x698, 0C8350A2-8AE3-4DA8-A0CA-A481EE…)

CRYYY I will never have an Edward in my life, I didn’t unlock the hot girl skin outfit in from the life dlc

No. 791782

File: 1619393849306.jpg (86.95 KB, 788x444, fCkk9kpTURBXy81YWM2ZjY1ODc3ZGU…)

I fucking hate tall resident evil lady stans, it was funny for first 5 minutes but it's been weeks and people keep making memes and tweeting how they want her to step on them, I can't take gamer cringe anymore

No. 791792

>>791550
I dont have any valuable to say except I completely agree with and feel for you.

No. 791793

All right, I am wasting too much time here instead of working, here is an emoji,(っ◔◡◔)っ💓, now please give me 3 day ban.

No. 791861

I hate that being vegan associates you automatically with PETA in people's eyes. Fuck PETA man.

No. 791864

>>791782
I was sick of it so fast because I knew it was the only joke I was about to see about Resident Evil for weeks.

No. 791882

I just searched for a reporter and found a youtube channel full of videos of female reporters doing their jobs. The kicker? The titles. Their tits! Their ass! Their tight skirt! Their lowcut dress! This video is his most popular upload, the title of this one is "Amy Freeze Brassiere Buster Puts Puppies On Full Display August 12, 2018".

I can't even imagine being male because they see sex in everything. Literally everything.
> An actress? Shit she's hot, has she got leaked nudes or DeepFake videos?
> A politician I disagree with speaking about politics? Whatever, shut up and just let me violate you like the stupid whore you are.
> A reporter reporting on a triple homicide? Mmm those eyes would look pretty looking up at me while she's sucking on my cock!
> A middle-aged, married coworker who did something at work I dislike? We're in a meeting and I'm thinking of face fucking her and pissing on her after she swallows my cum.
> A mom of four at a restaurant? What a milf, I'd fuck her on that table right there and get her knocked up with #5!
> Her daughter? Damn she's pretty cute, her teen pussy would be great for a threesome with her mom!

Anyway, disgusting ik but this is their 24/7 sexual thought process. How can you seriously not sit through a news report without thinking of fucking the anchor? Literally anything we do is sexualized and I'm so fucking sick of it. I've worked as a tutor and a fast food employee and in both of those jobs which are service-based and porn stereotyped I had men flirting with me with the most obvious shit eating grin that told me how at that very moment they were thinking about fucking me in probably the most disgusting way. Still had to smile and act like I didn't know what they were thinking when I damn well did.
Now I don't know about you all but I never think of sex with men as a straight woman unless it's related to women's issues like birth control, pregnancy, or rape which I think about daily as a woman. Even if it's a super hot man I don't see sex in every little thing I do or every man I come into contact with. At most I might be intimidated and look away. But when I see a naked man not having sex I don't really think anything of it. The only way I actually could get aroused is if I see people actually fucking, not staged (as all porn is) so basically…never. I actually go to porn sites to scroll through the trends as a radfem for blogging and I don't even feel aroused in the slightest. I guess I'm a weirdo but I just feel so angry knowing that all men are the polar opposite with literal ape brains controlled by their dick, yet we're still in a fucking patriarchy. How are these cumbrains still controlling everything? They're actually mentally impaired compared to women.

No. 791899

File: 1619406405007.jpeg (106.77 KB, 1122x714, 37B3F723-9998-4CFD-B1C4-9DD557…)

I'm so sick of wokees on twitter taking any character in existence and making them black. I know it's important to have representation or whatever but since so many characters with slightly darker skin is taken and black-washed I can't scroll through fanart of brown girls and seeing "hurr durr is black!" and it's not even black people majority of the time doing this shit, it's literally "NaTiVe AmErIcAn WhItE pAsSiNG" wokees that pull this stunt, and they don't even make the black-washed characters look black, they look like feces humanized. I just want to see brown girls without them being seen as an obese autistic trans muslim nonbinary lesbian.
does this count as racebaiting? If so hand over the red text you tranny guzzling mods(racebait)

No. 791900

>>791899
same, as a non-black brown woman I wanna feel represented too damn it

No. 791903

File: 1619407100564.png (385.28 KB, 414x437, 45378209574308574035.png)

>>791882
I agree with you anon and I hate that I'm going to sound like a "slut shamer" (I don't consider her a slut and believe she should be allowed to wear whatever she likes), but the reporter in your video knew exactly what she was doing lol. Even as a bustier woman you can wear a dress similar to that without providing a blatant look at the girls being smashed together. Again - she should be allowed to show cleavage without scrotes saying gross shit. But she clearly likes her boob windows and I don't think anyone male or female can be faulted for looking at/appreciating what she's intentionally showing off. I think there's a difference between saying "she looks hot" versus "what a whore I'd love to pound her" though.

No. 791905

>>791899
As a black woman, it’s okay to complain. Racebends can be fine if the artist respected the material and not make them look like a racist caricature, especially when simply making a character black doesn’t change the fact we still need more rep in the medium.

No. 791909

I wish I was dead

No. 791910

I feel like such an idiot because idk wtf I'm doing in life, not really, seems like I do…but I don't. I'm totally great single and it is always less stressful but I feel like this purgatory I'm always in is because lack of committed partners in my life. Part of that is my fault. Idk why I have such a hard time? I do have self esteem issues, don't we all though? At least now I notice the red flags and familiar patterns. Maybe someday I can have a chance to date again and make better choices. Not be so fooled. Then my head starts daydreaming the minute someone with potential shows me any attention. Like, shut up brain he's just saying hi or whatever. Stupid. These dudes aren't really helping much though. Old friend comes out of nowhere on media to tell me we should catch up when he's back from his retreat. And also, BTW he is on a retreat because he and his gf split. Very old friend, been nearly 15 years.

What vibes am I putting off that says I'm rebound girl?

No. 791912

>facebook
>reddit
>lolcow
>tiktok
>twitter
>reddit
>lolcow
>twitter
>reddit
>twitter
>discord
>lolcow
>reddit

I just bounce between these sites all day every day and I'm tired of it. I should be preparing to go back to college but I'm scared. Too tired to set aside energy to actually focus on education. Too tired to do anything besides sit in front of the television and browse the internet. The discord servers I'm in are dead. The ones I join are too live for me to feel comfortable. All of my past online friends hate me for various reasons because I can't control my need to infight for no reason. I'm tired of secretly hating my friend/roommate because he has wasted my time and my space. Every time I say something in discord, there's silence. I can't stop starting shit on lolcow. I can't stop wanting to nap.

I'm tired of wanting things but I'm too tired. I'm tired of being tired. I want to be happy, satisfied with things but I am miserable. I have a lot of good things going for me. Why can't I be appreciative? I am… I am partially. I just want to do MORE with my life. I'm so tired of being fat but I also can't stop eating. I'm tired of not having sex with my boyfriend because I'm repulsed by his physical touch due to bring molested as a child. I'm tired of racism and seeing all of this crazy shit happen with cops. I'm tired of chasing bitcoin, I just want to be rich.

I'm sick of being a sexual deviant and masturbating to shameful things. I feel a deep regret for how I treated my family when I was younger and if they die before me, I'll have to be put on meds to stop from offing myself. I'm tired of my short fuse, tired of insatiable hunger, tired of fearing everyone that I don't know.

No. 791929

File: 1619410423769.jpg (34.39 KB, 540x540, 550065a870e0299a04ca7244d436db…)

>>791899
I've seen it too, it's so obvious which ones are doing it for back pats from their pee oh see friends and not in a genuine way. I dunno how to describe it, like a good example of it done with true care and not forced would be black DBZ characters.

No. 791933

>>791929
I don't think this pic was forced. I think black guys genuinely enjoy seeing stuff like this. So it's whatever works for them, nothing else matters

No. 791937

I hate my boyfriend's friends so much. They don't deserve him. He's too precious and wholesome for them. All they do is take advantage.

I would 100% go yandere for him….

No. 791939

File: 1619411892139.png (207.54 KB, 499x544, 312032d7-ab41-403e-aacb-d6c5dd…)

Most of my life feels like I'm living through a memory and I hate it so much. It's like my brain sees everything blurry and passively recognizes things but I'm still able to react to things. The worst part is that I feel like I'll wake up at any moment but of course nothing happens.

I got tested for epilspsy and disassociation and both results were negative. You can't tell me the average person feels like this.

No. 791940

>>791937
>going yandere over gross 3DPD

No. 791944

>>791903
You said what I was wanting to say but couldn't think of how to articulate

No. 791948

>>791903
she might have been made to wear such clothing

No. 791950

File: 1619412731332.jpg (169.64 KB, 470x345, mindy.jpg)

A dude whose youtube channel I enjoy for Dragon Age news, theories, memes (aka drama-free fun shit) just got accused of spousal abuse by his ex wife, who in turn is getting accused of being an abuser and cheater herself by mutual friends. Why is nothing safe anymore

No. 791953

>>791939
How much exercise do you get? How often are you outdoors?
A lot of time when people don't feel "there" or don't feel comfortable in their body, the disconnect is because they neglect the body. Your brain can't be in good form if the rest of your body isn't, it's part of it.
Ignore if you're actually in top physical condition, I just find this aspect is often overlooked. People are not made for the modern sedentary lifestyle and it takes a toll on us.

No. 791956

>>791953
I work out 4 times per week, mostly weights for an hour + yoga on rest days/weekend. I also walk everywhere since I don't have a car.

Honestly at this point I think it might be due to isolation or just a brain tumor lol

No. 791961

>>791956
It's probably isolation then, that kills the spirit. I'd think a tumor would hurt, it's nothing that serious.

No. 791968

>>791953
nayrt but what if someone is like this since childhood despite having a healthy body and being around others?

No. 791972

>>791968
There's something wrong there, you're supposed to feel connected to yourself and the world. But I'm no expert to tell you what.

No. 791975

>>791968
I'm >>791939 and was told to get a brain MRI (but couldn't go thanks to covid and other stuff) as a, sort of "last resort" since I was told that depression doesn't cause it.

No. 791976

So I just checked the UMA thread for the first time in weeks, what the actual fuck is that thread pic. I'm a an uggophile myself but seriously, what the fuck.

No. 792041

>>791976
So you don't like the Hank but the rest is ok?

No. 792046

I just crawled out under my rock and found out Tom Holland is playing Nathan Drake. I am so triggered a manlet child lookin ass dude is going to play him and I’m upset I have such strong opinions on this

No. 792050

>>791939
I used to feel like I was living like that, in a "fog" when I was depressed.

No. 792059

>>791939
It's unusual that they've said it can't be caused by depression and have jumped to wanting a brain scan, any woman reporting disassociation is usually just told that it's an emotional issue. Then they you put you on SSRIs and that compounds the numbness tenfold lol

No. 792067

>>791782
The people who latched onto her are not even Resident Evil fans, they are just here for the coomer memes.

No. 792074

I feel like a big piece of garbage when others my age are graduating with bachelors and I’m so fucking flaky I couldn’t even stay enrolled in a community college long enough to even get a semester finished. Sometimes I wonder if that traditional (and expensive) four year college experience right after high school would have been good for me, but instead I tried to save money and I think the energy of being stuck in the same town and childhood home for so long just made me give up repeatedly. Also I’m just a loser. UGhhhhhhhh shoot me into the sun

No. 792075

>>787683
cry about it. i hope you continue to suffer(braindead male)

No. 792076


No. 792085

>>787683
Hope you're all right now! I know how you feel about it being easier to be extreme

No. 792091

>>792076
Anon it’s obviously a guy just ignore, I hope you feel better from your problems though

No. 792092

File: 1619438791523.jpeg (243.69 KB, 750x937, C20F2AF3-4B42-404A-A6BE-5F6C9B…)

Seeing so much whiny ssri-chans not taking advantage of their situation. You get free pills and you wield the power to lie about your symptoms to get a higher dose, even more effective! I personally got off it because I really did not find it helping me and I was too afraid to tell my therapist/psychiatrist I might just be a little misdiagnosed. The average human being who doesn’t want to break the law for drugs don’t always get this opportunity to get high off your shits.



anyways I love laying in bed feeling like the stressed out main character

No. 792097

>>792091
I'm not the anon he replied to, just such a weird post for him to be mad about. Men really can't contain their emotions, can they?

No. 792098

>>792092
I took to much of my prescription stuff and haven't slept more thab 3 hours in the past 4 days.
(Needed to study for something important)

I feel like this post is calling me out but I'm honestly too numb to rant or talk about.
But yeah there's that

No. 792099

>>792092
People on meds aren't junkies, contrary to what boomers think

No. 792101

>>792092
>SSRIs
>high
OK…

No. 792103

>>791933
AYRT, re-read my message, i'm saying this wasn't forced.

No. 792106

>>792101
Most ssris give constipation like woo the thrills

No. 792113

>>792092
Look into how SSRIs work, they take months to build up and nobody is getting buzzed on them.

No. 792116

>>792101
aww hell yeah now that's some good citalopram!…said nobody

No. 792125

I have speculation my sister is a lesbian. She hasn't had much luck with boyfriends, or it seems the connection I sense with them is not all there. She just broke up with her boyfriend of about a year last week, and something about it felt pretty forced the entire time. IDK something is off… she came out as bi a year ago, but I think it's just her coming to terms with her attraction to women. I'm bisexual and my relationships are pretty intense, like I moved in with my boyfriend after 4 months of dating him, I would assume she would act similarly with her boyfriend, because my mom was similar with my dad. She never posted intimate photos with her boyfriend, it was always a posed arm behind the back or wrapped around the shoulder. Maybe I'm just really disconnected with how she presents herself on social media. She's extremely yuppie. But then again, she did shave her entire head when covid hit. I dunno I'm fucking rambling lmao.

No. 792128

>>792125
what if your sister is just private. its not reall smart to move in with someone after only knowing them for 4 months maybe she just wants to move at a slower pace. she could be a lesbian though but she could also see how you guys interact with men it and she wants to do the exact opposite LMAO.

No. 792130

>>792125
> like I moved in with my boyfriend after 4 months of dating him, I would assume she would act similarly with her boyfriend
The vast majority of couples don't move at that pace.

No. 792132

>>792103
kek, you're totally not going to believe this but I thought you were say
>and not forced, "would-be" dbz characters
I just thought you were using poor grammar. My baaaaad.

No. 792135

>>792125
>my sister didn't move in with her bf after 4 months of dating
>must be lesbian!

I think the only thing you're disconnected from is how normal couples behave. Moving in after 4 months is not normal and not posting intimate pics online is also not particularly noteworthy.

No. 792138

i want to cancel on my mom today but she will be sad. I hate driving an hour with my dogs and then driving an hour home. I just want to stay home today and get drunk

No. 792141

>>792135
To give some credit to that anon, she did say that she expected that behavior due to her mother's relationship with her father, as well as her relationship with her bf.

I think she was saying that it's conventional, or traditional, for her family to do things like that.

No. 792145

I hate going to a particular friend's house for parties because I always come back with a seemingly nasty digestive bug that gives me abdominal cramping and diarrhea for days afterwards. She has ulcerative colitis. What's happening to me could either be coincidence, or my tinfoil is that I'm picking up some nasty gut bacteria whenever I'm over there. The same thing happened when she lived with me temporarily a few years back except I had digestational upset perpetually for the months she was at my place which went away when she left. I had abdominal pain so badly last night that in one instance it radiated from my side down to my knee like I'd been stabbed. My movements smell foul and look weird.

No. 792146

>>792113
Compound with other drugs anon

No. 792148

got rejected for a job interview process i’ve invested 3 weeks in now and i’m feeling more down about it than usual. downside of having to have multiple interviews i guess…

No. 792150

>>792146
Anon stop

No. 792151

>>792148
at least they actually told you that you were rejected instead of just never hearing from them again and having to wonder

No. 792154

>>792145
sounds supernatural in nature, bordering on the paranormal

No. 792161

>>792151
yeah it was an HR position so they probably feel more obligated to be upfront about that kind of stuff. a rejection email first thing on a monday morning after you just had a 3rd interview on friday definitely stings in it's own way.

No. 792169

>>792145
Your friend isn't a carrier of c diff is she? That has a foul smell

No. 792252

>>792145
disgusting. rule 1 of /ot/ states that your literal shit talk is not appropriate here.

No. 792351

>>792145
This gave me weird secondhand embarrassment for your friend

No. 792389

I had PPD after my son was born and I feel like I wasted the first year of his life. It’s not like I neglected him or anything, I just didn’t take very many pictures and I missed out on a lot of milestones because I was too busy trying not to go off the deep end. I’m better now and I know I’m a good mom but I’ll always regret that I didn’t cherish him when he was tiny

No. 792392

File: 1619460188914.jpg (624.18 KB, 2452x1226, Ez6c3aLXMAMdhtH.jpg)

It's fucking ridiculous how bad I want a gf

No. 792393

>>792351
It reminded me of xmas a few years back, I was dating a guy who had shared custody of his son with his ex. He had the kid for xmas that year and he was going to his parents house with the kid and then coming back to spend new years with me. When he picked up the kid he told him he'd had an upset stomach all day.. Fast forward and the guys whole extended family ended up having the worst bug over xmas as the kid obviously brought it there with him. Turns out his mom knew there was a bug in her house but she just sent him off full of symptoms and ready to spread it. How much must you hate your ex to know you're doing that? Nearly 20 people, half kids and some elderly had xmas ruined that year.. Who does that?

Then a few days later they come home to me, I'm nervous about whether the bug has truly passed and sure enough I fuckin catch it and I wasn't right for months after it.

No. 792395

>>792392
we could be girlfriends anon

No. 792396

>>792389
You can cherish him today! time is a dumb concept, love him now and be happy

No. 792397

File: 1619460334317.jpg (122.97 KB, 1000x580, 1617267842844.jpg)

>>792392
bitch me too, the fuck

No. 792420

File: 1619461304846.jpg (69.63 KB, 581x822, lookandlisten.jpg)

my husband is genuinely the sweetest and cutest person I know but he has bacne and doesn't want to fix it. It's his only unattractive trait.
I feel like the politics that's around us says it's shallow to care about his bacne if he says it doesn't bother him. But the thing is, it HAS to bother him because he doesn't like taking off his shirt at the beach or wearing a tanktop when we go rock climbing (even though he has a nice physique)

I literally love everything else about him, but i just genuinely believe people should take care of themselves even if it's just for appearances. I especially feel that way with men because the bar is already so damn low for them. It's getting annoying that he won't fix it, and it genuinely grosses me out.

No. 792421

>>792396
That’s true. Thank you anon

No. 792435

I ate too much fibre cereal and I got my period on the same day, so all I am currently doing is shitting myself to death. All this right before a 10 hours shift. Someone kill me now please before I shove a cork up my arse or shit myself at work.

No. 792457

>>792420
Give him an acne cream and rub it on his back

No. 792460

>>792420
Have you told him upfront it grosses you out?

No. 792469

>>792420
Groundbreaking advice coming through: Talk to him.

No. 792488

I've been learning two languages for a couple months, and god it just makes me realize how fucking dumb I am. I won't give up because I genuinely love both languages, but I wish I had a better memory so this would be just a little bit easier.

No. 792493

>>792488
I would honestly prefer picking either one or another, you can always learn the second language later on. I mean, I’ve been learning my third language for a few years already, and I’ve been doing great, but I know that if I wanted to learn a fourth language, it would be too complicated, because that means translating stuff in your head in three languages at a time, making everything more complicated than it is.

No. 792561

I didn't get into a single clinic during law school and now even my final year is going to be the constant drudgery of reading dumbass court cases and taking dumbass exams!!

No. 792562

File: 1619471468540.jpeg (84.56 KB, 1280x720, download (3).jpeg)

i'm on my second period of the month and i am so fucking depressed. its my day off and i already took my ADHD meds and drank a redbull but all i've accomplished so far is crying and laying in bed. i have so much shit i need to do. i know its just hormones (probably) but i can't help but lament being gross and useless and i want to Off Myself more than ever on this monday. bro i want off this ride im not remotely hot or a genius or rich or getting good dick so truly what is the point

No. 792573

>>792561
that sucks. but fwiw, I've heard the clients can be annoying af at the clinics. one of my friends told me that one of her clients wouldn't stop calling and texting her trying to flirt when he was going through a custody battle. at one point, he called her in the afternoon and sounded hammered out of his mind, saying he was about to get in the car and go pick up the kids from school. my friend's supervisor basically told her to suck it up when she asked to switch files with someone else. so you may have dodged a bullet.

No. 792576

>>792562
I could have wrote every part of this, I had the same experience except I sat at my desk doing nothing
I hope it gets better for you soon, stay strong! It's really bullshit that meds work less on our periods

No. 792584

>>792562
I felt this last week on a spiritual level during my cycle, there was one day when I just cried for hours for what felt like no reason

No. 792588

I'm feeling crazier lately, I already take quite a few meds, but atop what I'm already taking (meds for anxiety, moodswings, depression) I'm wondering if I should ask my therapist to add an antipsychotic. It's the last thing I want since I have trouble taking and rationalizing the amount of meds I already have, and I struggle not to skip days sometimes. A friend of mine who's also a bpdfag and more takes an antipsychotic and she's a lot more stable. I'd just be humiliated admitting to my therapist that I have had intrusive thoughts, horrible insomnia, evil dreams and contemplated relapsing when upping my mood stabilizer initially helped a few months ago. Fuck.

No. 792593

>>792148

Exact same thing just happened to me anon! I rolled myself up in a blanket burrito and cried and felt sorry for myself for a little bit then forced myself to send out some more applications. It's hard not to get your hopes up and I was also beating myself up about it. It helped me to remember that its just a numbers game. The fact you got an interview means you are competent, and each rejection just means you are one step closer to getting that successful interview.

No. 792638

File: 1619479907779.jpg (19.45 KB, 500x500, 9r1wu.jpg)

>>787646
I hate how the diminutive version of the name Dolores, Lolita, has been ruined by men. It used to be a nickname for many girls. Now it's ruined and appropriated by pedo scums.
That's it. That's the vent. There are bunch of other similar stuff too, but this illustrates the main formula of what kills me inside. Beautiful, worthy, loving and real things being ruined and sullied by people (mostly men) who just don't get it. I hate the lack of basic dignity. Why does everything have to become so dirty.

No. 792648

I seriously want to adopt Noodle from Shayna (and her cat I would adopt too but I'm not as experienced with cats). It is so atrocious to me that this wonderful dog lives in such circumstances. I want to save her…

No. 792650

File: 1619481105874.jpg (18.94 KB, 236x354, 364748668687564.jpg)

Everytime I think I'm getting better I lose my grip and start slipping back into old habits again. I make promises to myself saying I'll do better next time but it always ends the same way. Why am I the biggest disappointment in my own life?

No. 792652

I wonder if there's a place where I can find women who actually respect themselves. Because, judging from what women write about their relationships and the scrotes they post in unconventional attractions, I can't find them here either.

No. 792658

>>792652
This place made me pity straight women a thousand times more than I did before.

No. 792663

>>792562
You got your period on a full moon that's like full force period I'm so sorry.

No. 792664

>>792638
I know lolita in the book was used as a nickname for delores but i thought originally lolita was its own name from spanish origin

No. 792667

>>792664
NTA but "Lolita" is "little Dolores", whether this is used as a nickname or regular name.

No. 792668

I'm looking back at pictures of me when i was with my ex and DUDE I WAS SO UGLY!!!!!!!! I thought he didn't love me but neverfuckingmind, he must have lollll. My face was the type only a mother could love, so there's no way he didn't. Should I send him a selfie saying whats up?

No. 792673

>>792668
Happy for your glow up but don't!

No. 792678

>>792673
we haven't talked in a long while but we parted in amicable terms, does that change your answer?

No. 792679

I desperately desire someone to make a play for me. It's been months I'm going to be confused the next time I see a dick. Won't know what to do.

No. 792685

>>792678
if you have to ask anons whether or not you should message your ex, that indicates you probably shouldn't

No. 792693

>>792678
nta, no

No. 792696

>>792685
I think I shouldn't too but i want someone to say yes

No. 792707

File: 1619485125019.png (480.39 KB, 665x529, ehhhh.png)

Sorry for this really cringy vent but here we go

I met a guy in a discord server. The server is for a uni society. I'm really obsessed with him. I've read all his messages and he's perfect in every way. Found his facebook and he's really cute too. He was part of the societies committee so he was a mod of the server. I ended up joining the committee too since i am pretty active in the server. Anyways, he had an argument with someone else in the server over politics, and the guy he argued with complained to the uni pretty much leading to a huge argument between him and all of the other mods. He got removed from the committee. They were talking a lot of shit behind his back, and I told him everything they were saying. Partly because i didn't think he did anything wrong and he should know what they're saying about him, but also as an excuse to message him. He got pretty mad about it and left the server.

Anyways despite this, I didn't talk to him for a month bc i couldn't bring myself to dm him lol. He started appearing offline all the time. Someone brought him up in the chat and i found out he used whatsapp instead. So i thought fuck it, i found his CV online and his phone number was on it. So i randomly messaged him on there. He didnt seem creeped out and we had a fun convo.

He's taking a year off uni to work so he's in a different city so i cant actually ask him out right now. Fuck, i just wanna be with him in real life. He seems totally uninterested in me (and i don't blame him since we've only spoken over text) but he's the only thing i can think about right now and I feel like a total creep

No. 792718

File: 1619486873639.jpg (119.49 KB, 500x612, 7ommpkwg13661.jpg)

I still can't believe my mom compared how I treat her and my dad differently, for a good reason, to how whites and fucking blacks were treated during Jim Crow. Mom me stownwalling you because you freak out over the tiniest thing is nothing like the civil rights movement

No. 792721

File: 1619486972644.jpeg (59.23 KB, 500x513, 5F956B14-0588-445E-B622-8C748B…)

I got into a serious political discussion in a group chat while high KEK I feel kinda embarrassed, can't tell if I fudged it. wish I could delete messages without anybody noticing but it'd be obvious. At least mostly no one knows who I am.

No. 792724

i lost my ex to cocaine and witnessing his deterioration was so hard. he lost everything and it was beyond my control

No. 792728

Annoyed at my mum because I want to move out I'm 25 and I'm ready, however I can obviously tell she's trying to discourage me and putting it under the guize(?) of caring for me.
I told her I want to move out and be in two apts because her place is small, the walls are thin as hell and I don't have space to do my business of making candles.
She's being rude with me and being passive aggressive and saying shit like "you'll be on ur own if your friend have a falling out" ya i will, but I'll be paying my rent on my own then.

No. 792738

>>792576
>>792584
ily nonnies i'm glad i'm not the only one that completely loses their shit when a bad period starts
>>792663
jesus christ you're right i didn't even think of that
>>792724
anon i'm so sorry this is one of my biggest fears since i had to leave my ex after he got addicted to meth. it got so bad i had to leave bcus i couldn't see it happen anymore. but you're right there is nothing you can do for someone that isn't ready to seek help for themselves. i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy i'm sorry it happened to you

No. 792749

Whenever I think I'm over my bordeline tendencies, something in my life has to teach me how I'm fucking up big time, and I'm tired of fucking up. Why is it so hard to be normal? I want to be a normal being with normal emotions and just laugh shit off, not someone who has monster-like tendencies

No. 792751

>>792696
no nonna, please no

No. 792765

My god why can't I be fucking normal? God just take me away already!

No. 792767

Was shittalking with one of my male friends about a prominent Twitter user we both dislike (always tweeting dumb sjw takes) and he just casually says “she should choke on a cock until her face is blue, she really needs a dick down her throat” and shit. Wtf, can’t we just call her retarded? Why do men always resort to these rapey insults when they hate some bitch? Disturbing.

No. 792770

>>792724
That happened to me too. I'm over people thinking cocaine is a fun drug. Turns so many people into ugly messes.

No. 792782

File: 1619493150689.jpg (13.38 KB, 275x201, 1606267295772.jpg)

This is only 1/2 serious but I wish my kpop loving friends would stop inflicting their kpop on me in a group chat who aren't even all into kpop. One of them was like "here have a sad chwe hansol" and sent a pic of some random korean guy like I'm supposed to have any kind of significant emotional reaction at all

>>792767
What the fuck, scrotes really are all the same. Did you tell him off?

No. 792784

>>792767
Another day, another opportunity to hate men

No. 792787

>>792782
I kinda second-guessed myself so I didn’t mention it. I couldn’t tell if I should be upset or not since it’s not like he was dming her rape threats, it just bothers me how quick men start with the sexual/rapey insults whenever they dislike a woman.

No. 792792

I hate being a fatty ugly bitch honestly, I wished I could get anorexia or something to make me stop eating, I asked my psych to prescribe antidepressants that would make me loose weight but that was a bust. Honestly I hate being such a fatass and yes we deserve to be bullied for being fat. Honestly I hate this whole ass fat acceptance bullshit, seriously fat is not beautiful not being able to walk or do shit properly is not beautiful at all. Honestly I look at myself and I look like fucking cookie dough. Yes you guys are allowed to bully me and tell me how much of a landwhale I am, I deserve it.

No. 792793

File: 1619495252861.png (534.26 KB, 1280x720, 4D733572-0D4E-4293-9218-7384A2…)

I’m really starting to develop a crush on this guy but there’s two major problems; he already has a girlfriend and even worse he’s my boss’ son. I think he’s really funny and is really smart and a really great designer but I know if anything were to happen it would be catastrophically bad both emotionally and professionally.

I get the feeling he’s into me too but… if he cheats with you he’ll cheat on you. He stares at me a lot then looks away if I make eye contact, cracks a lot of jokes, makes references to things he knows I like, and the last time I saw him was like ‘Hey anon this made me thing about you’ several times.

I’m not gonna go after him, it would be a terrible idea all around and I’m not in a good position to date anyways, but god I can’t stop thinking about him.

No. 792794

>>792767
What the fuck, that's not okay at all, if you pull him up and he doesn't see what's wrong with that then you shouldn't trust him as a person

No. 792796

File: 1619495699876.jpeg (146.74 KB, 500x1129, AB7999F5-5274-42FE-B1C8-703BCF…)

>>792767
What… the fuck. I've actually never heard a man say this irl.

No. 792802

File: 1619496699953.gif (2.34 MB, 224x270, sp.gif)

I wanted to practice drawing before it was too late, but now it is too late, why do I always fecking do this now it's either give up or lose sleep!!

No. 792808

spoiled fuckin hotel guest books a double queen room but when she arrives shes horrified by how small it is. i upgrade her, for free, to an executive king room, the best room that is in my power to book. she begrudgingly accepts.

few hours go by. she calls to shorten her stay. i change the reservation.
few more hours, she calls again. the room is ~too small~ for her to even spend the night. she cant believe she isnt receiving better treatment than me already doing everything i can

i fucking hate rich entitled people. customers at the dirty thrift store i worked at were more polite

No. 792813

File: 1619497546502.webm (2.94 MB, 640x350, tumblr_qa3m5rICFX1yw52t5.webm)

Prozac anon from the other day, still on Prozac but missed like a day and suddenly irreparably horny its ruining my life

No. 792814

>>792808
What the fuck is she doing in there that she needs a bigger room, like wtf

No. 792815

>>792814
Maybe she is secretly a werewolf who needs the biggest room to contain her rampage during the full pink supermoon tonight

No. 792823

>>792814
its to fit her enormous ego

No. 792824

>>792823
I guess that is more likely

No. 792837

>>792792
Your self-hate is really embarrassing and I feel sorry for you. Grow some self-respect and learn to lose weight through diet and exercise instead of trying to trick your psych into giving you pills which won't work because you lack the discipline. Work on yourself instead of using your loathing as an excuse to hate on anyone innocent who shares your problem.

No. 792864

>>792767
he was performing the cool girl rite on you. Unfortunately it sounds like you passed

No. 792880

As someone who is very sarcastic by nature, I hate when I can't tell if other people are being sarcastic or not. Like, sometimes people will say something in the most deadpan tone, and I'm left wondering if they really mean it or not. Mostly bc there's not enough context outside of those statements to pinpoint whether they're being genuine or not. It especially bothers me when people say something controversial and don't follow it up with a "lol jk" or any other indication that what they just said isn't how they really feel. I was watching a bunch of tik toks from this girl and she said "I'm a sexist. I value my self worth based on a slimy men scale." Even if that's a facetious sentiment, it makes me feel uncomfortable. Except idk if she was being serious either because the whole video followed that narrative! And I can't really gauge how she feels in general based off her other videos bc they're so contradictory or just vague enough to not lean either way.

No. 792881

>>792880
Yeah, which is why sarcasm is a shitty thing in interpersonal relationships.

The origin of the word explains a lot:
he word comes from the Greek σαρκασμός (sarkasmós) which is taken from σαρκάζειν (sarkázein) meaning "to tear flesh, bite the lip in rage, sneer"

I am rarely sarcastic now, except when referring to third party such as politicians.

No. 792885

One of my neighbors relatives told me they'd shoot my dog…because I was walking him in the middle of the street. Because I was giving people sitting outside their houses a wide-berth because my dog is still learning not everyone is his friend and even though he does listen to me I'd rather for his safety not have him walk near anyone. This relative was talking to where I could hear him saying how I can't control my dog cause he (my dog) saw a leaf blowing down the street and got excited and he pulled me hard as hell. I told him my dog is just walking and not even bothering him when he threatened to shoot him. I took my dog inside and immediately had a panic attack. Once I calmed down enough I went and spoke with my neighbors (dude was gone at that point) and the little old lady told me not to worry about the guy he was talking shit and how she and her husband had to told him off for talking to me in that way which is why he was there at the moment. Especially since they know my dog and he loves visiting with them when they're outside because they talk to him and pet him. They also reassured me that they wouldn't let him do anything to my dog. They even told me I have every right to walk my dog on their street and to just avoid the guy from now on (which I always did because he would cross to the other side of the street.) They also told me he's been afraid of dogs ever since he got bit real bad by one which fair. But literally he only had to ask me "hey can you walk him somewhere else when you see me?" I get people being terrified of dogs and I'm not gonna force people to interact with my dog. Just wish he could have communicated better instead of immediately threatening my dog's life. I'm still scared to walk him over there and my area isn't that safe and he needs exercise so it's not fair to keep him stuck in the house.

No. 792886

>>792881
You're absolutely right. It truly is a recipe for disaster in interpersonal relationships. I've noticed that I usually lay it on thick when people ask rhetorical questions or say something that's obvious. I think it's my way of being condescending without trying to sound as mean as possible. Which is obviously a problem and something I need to work on because it's something people will get tired of very quickly. No one likes feeling like the dumb one. I shall reserve it only for men who get too big for their britches.

No. 792895

File: 1619513216115.jpg (393.5 KB, 1232x3308, twitterautism.jpg)

>>792880
You'll probably like this lmao

No. 792904

>>792895
How funny would it have been if you included a tone indicator in your post? kek. Most of the time, I don't need people to spell it out for me. It's only when they're sarcastic and seem to leave additional context out on purpose.

No. 792905

>>792793
>he already has a girlfriend and even worse he’s my boss’ son
ewww anon. Hope you get over your crush soon, it's not worth your time

No. 792914

>>792880
In some countries people are very obvious with their sarcasm, the tone of their voice will dramatically change to indicate it. In others being totally deadpan is almost the giveaway that it's sarcasm. Where I live you get the deadpan type and if soemone is not from here it can get pretty confusing for them.

No. 793026

>>792751
I don't understand why you guys keep saying no though. I haven't and I wont but why not?

>>792765
what did you do anon

No. 793032

File: 1619532530831.jpeg (223.78 KB, 1100x587, 1AE72176-484D-4C73-B781-E363BA…)

If I can get to the interview for this job I applied to, I might actually make it

No. 793046

NEVER trust a fast fashion-shopper when it says "This is great quality!!". I bought this dress off of asos that had good reviews including ones saying it was """great quality""". The thing isn't lined which was cleverly hidden in the product pictures but you can see it when wearing. Still decided to keep it because it's cute, after one wash it's completely frayed on the inside. Wear it a couple of times more and a button comes off. Ffs I swear fast fashion shoppers will claim anything that isn't sheer is of great quality. Of course I wasn't expecting anything amazing but this was so annoying.

No. 793060

File: 1619535426429.jpg (19.09 KB, 680x476, ca0.jpg)

>idea for a drawing looks great in my head
>sketch looks even better
>time to ink it
>hand and brain just decide to say "fuck you" simultaneously

Oh well… at least I got some practice in, right

No. 793066

File: 1619535747393.jpg (27.66 KB, 600x450, singer.jpg)

>>793046
>>793046
I wish I knew what high-quality clothes were like. All of the clothing I have owned is fast fashion stuff I bought last year before the pandemic. One of my H&M sweaters died in like 2 days, but I keep it because it can still perform its function of keeping me warm, but the fabric on my H&M corduroy trousers are just beyond repair, or at least I have no clue how to make them look semi-decent. I really liked those trousers, so I might just donate them. I fear that my other clothes may need to be replaced this year too, though I tend to stretch out their use. I fear that my other clothes will die this year too.

I should try to learn how to repaire clothing and get rid of stains. 've been eyeing the singer books (pic rel)

No. 793070

Just had the worst poop I’ve ever pooped

No. 793076

>>793070
Sorry for your shitty experience anon

No. 793078

>>793076
ba dum tss

No. 793086

File: 1619538120226.jpg (18.7 KB, 489x418, this is not okay.jpg)

Just found out I wasn't re-awarded a massive scholarship I won last year that covered a sizeable portion of my cost of attendance. I wasn't necessarily expecting to receive it again, but there was a pretty big chance of that happening. I've been applying to lots of local scholarships, but I don't know if it'll be enough to make up for the nearly $10k difference that scholarship filled. Holy fuck. I'm so stressed. There's no way I'm taking out loans and I really, really, REALLY don't want to dip into my savings.

No. 793118

>>790482
If it makes you feel better society lies men over 35 have a huge increased risk of kids with autism or birth defects. It’s just as bad for them. We just don’t point it out since it might make the 65 year old creeps trying to marry 15 year olds feel bad.

No. 793120

I'm currently packing my stuff for an upcoming move and my god I have so much shit (especially books) even after sorting everything out. It's stressing me out so much, I keep dreaming I'm preparing cardboard boxes at the last minute filling them with dumb shit like tweezers. It's not even the first move I'm having (the tenth or something like that) but since I'm finally moving out I'm feeling so nervous.

No. 793135

i need to stop going to the shoe thread because everyone making fun of her being bald makes me wanna kms, alopecia is so fucking embarrassing

No. 793141

>>791232
He’s a pedo, a normal man would never say that about a petite woman

No. 793162

>>793135
I get you, anon. I have pcos and have the hairline of a 30 year old man. If I look in the mirror fresh out of the shower, I sometimes legitimately want to kms.
I understand

No. 793163

>>792573
Haha actually, part of the reason I struck out is that I only applied to the clinics that were working with organizations and therefore no clients. I can't admit this to basically anyone I'm in school with (big public interest lean here) but I find 80% of the people our school hooks up with legal services loathsome.

>our family law clinic is exclusively for helping parents who lost custody regain it

>our immigration clinic only helps people who have committed crimes
>our LGBT clinic partners with 75%
>racial justice clinic only deals with convicts
>reproductive rights clinics fights children being taken away from mothers with narcotic addictions

No. 793175

>>793135
Same anon, I’m 18 and my hair is honestly more than 70% gone. Going bald as a woman is fucking depressing.

No. 793183

I'm fucking pathetic

No. 793185

>>791232
Shit like this is exactly why I hate men and never dated one, I've only had men who thought I was still in middle or high school hit on me. He's not worth it if he disrespect you that much and makes you that upset. Being this paranoid over a nude pic of a young adult woman is pretty suspicious too.

No. 793186

I wish i never became friends with my current friends. They aren't emotionally available whenever i need them or end up avoiding me but come back when they need to vent and rant. I'm already mentally unwell and i realise how i actually feel worse when i'm with them. They are passive aggressive to me for apparent reason and side with each other. I think the nicer I am towards them the meaner they become …I tend to be a people pleaser maybe that makes me an easy target? I can't even get away from them cause we study together.

No. 793194

>>793186
You just described my ex, once I decided to cut contact with her my emotional state improved tremendously. I advice you to put as much distance as possible if you can't outright cut them off your life.
Nonita you deserve better, believe it.

No. 793209

>>793066
wall of text under the spoiler that might be patronizing or useless if you already understand mending and garment care
mending, darning and repairing clothes is actually not too hard unless it's something with a complex structure to the garment, or a very finicky material that would look like shit with visible mending and is difficult to mend seamlessly (i.e. those semi-sheer silky poly-blend or faux chiffon blouses)
you can also do visible mending in beautiful and artistic ways like sashiko!
i would recommend keeping your old, falling-apart fast fashion pieces and socks with holes, even if they are in such disrepair that they've become unwearable, because you can just keep them in a large tub and practice your mending techniques on them (i.e. patches, repairing tears with different types of reinforced stitches, darning woollen knits. if they’re not in super rough shape you can try them on while you're chilling at home and see how your handiwork holds up to actual wear and movement)
it is also not too difficult nowadays to buy some versatile and wearable basics that can be matched with other things in your wardrobe in high quality materials, a lot of options for buying used or thrifting, online consignment, and sales happen more and more nowadays as businesses try to get rid of old stock and hold onto customers who are maybe holding their purses more tightly with the uncertain atmosphere around job security and finances.
like, it's honestly kind of a good time right now for people with thrifty or frugal approaches to consumerism. if you are patient and price compare a lot, buy used, or scope out thrift stores or local marketplaces (like fb marketplace) you can buy something that lasts much longer, without making the investment of full retail price. sometimes comparable to their cheaper counterparts which begin to fall apart or malfunction (appliances and electronics) in terms of price, if you shop like a postwar grandma reluctant to part with her money, lol.
if you or your family have any wool socks, you can get a darning egg, darning needles and some materials for quite cheap and practice darning wool sock holes, which will help you to repair other tears in woollen knit garments later as you become more skilled at technique, like a sweater, or tall socks.
you can also look up the pin trick, where you can gently tug sweater pulls back in, using a sewing pin or safety pin you’ll already have on hand.
i'm not sure how intent you are on learning these skills, or which ones interest you the most, but the vast majority of introductory guides and instruction on beginning to learn how to mend and repair your clothing are available for free. even detailed youtube guides, if you are a visual learner.
if you find you have a knack for it, and it's not too frustrating (you have to be very dexterous and nimble for certain types of repairs when done by hand), you will then have a better idea of what you need to work on: whether you'd like to do visible mending like sashiko, or if you'd like to focus more on knits, maybe even work towards learning to fix or alter denim (crazy difficult), or leather, etc. at that point you sort of have a better idea of which books or supplies you'd benefit from actually spending money on.
you can use libgen and those similar sites like, what is it, z-library? to get ebooks or pdfs too, if you're trying to save money. especially if you'd like to take a gamble on trying something new. maybe the information in a book you'll end up thinking of buying about x type of mending is kind of sparse and shitty, or it’s more of a photobook about sashiko designs, as opposed to demonstrations of the techniques and instructions for different types of stitches. now you haven't wasted money on it.
most public libraries offer ebook lending as well, and you can easily pirate from archive.org's lending feature (if you google it, simple instructions will come up on piracy subreddits or w/e. it's dead simple, you just need adobe reader.)
many public libraries are offering a moratorium on late fees and nice incentives for new memberships, to make it easier and more accessible to loan physical books about anything you’d like to teach yourself. including sewing, mending, darning, repairing or upcycling clothing.
for stains: there are different solutions you can make at home for any stain under the sun. peroxide is pretty much the only thing that can successfully lift blood, for instance. the heavy duty stain treatments you get at the store for laundry are just an intense concentration of peroxide. if you keep hydrogen peroxide on hand, you can apply it to a blood stain (panties, sheets, pants, dishrags from a kitchen mishap) immediately and let it sit, dab it out, repeat until lifted, and wash. baking soda, peroxide, baking soda, and a little bit of dish soap or detergent can be used in countless ratios or mixes, kept in a spray bottle from the dollar store and applied to carpet, clothing, mattress, or furniture stains quite successfully.
recently i lifted eight years worth of stains out of an old mattress with just the above products; it looks brand new and is disinfected now. i also keep a solution of peroxide, baking soda and dish soap on hand in a spray bottle to lift stains from the carpet before they set. you can do similar things for clothes when it’s not quite bad enough to use an expensive stain remover. especially if you catch the stains before they set.
some materials or fabrics are more sensitive to harsh ingredients, and you can use the store bought stain pretreatments for those or get them dry cleaned. but the ingredients i listed are super cheap and multipurpose.
there are dry cleaning channels on youtube who can teach you about garment care and how to launder delicate fabrics, lift stains out of them.
you can get handheld garment steamers and pilling-removers for dirt cheap, as well, many less than 20$ from amazon or walmart.
learning to properly care for and mend your clothes to the point where you prolong their wearability and lifespan saves you so much money on upkeep, as opposed to replacing them with more fast fashion, it’s insane. not only does it pay for itself, but decades from now, you’d probably be able to buy a nicer quality wardrobe with the money you’ve saved.
it’s like buying a cheap, shitty pair of work boots that you have to replace every year vs. a high quality durable pair which lasts ten years. the upfront cost of the boots is much cheaper, but the amount it costs to get repairs and ultimately replace them every year ends up costing you more in that ten year span than the investment pair. i think terry pratchett wrote about that. it’s expensive to be poor.
sorry for the long post, i hope you can learn what you would like to learn!

No. 793213

File: 1619547210921.jpg (117.11 KB, 1280x731, original.jpg)

im in love and its stupid but mostly im stupid for not seeing the signs and exiting stage left when i had the chance. Now im fucked.

No. 793222

>>791232
Im the opposite. Im tall with wide hips, a big butt and large breasts. My ex bfs type was your body type and he had no problem letting me know. Dont feel bad, men are literally never satisfied and will make you feel like shit no matter what your body type is.

No. 793223

>>791232
Can't believe there are people STILL dumb enough to send nudes in this day and age, and on gmail too wtf.

No. 793234

>>793209
NAYRT but this is great anon, thank you

No. 793248

>>793066
Repair is pretty easy to learn, I definitely recommend it! It's very satisfying when you can extend the life of a garment! Imo you don't even necessarily need that book, if you have something specific to repair you can just google it, that's how I do it, the free resources are plenty, including youtube videos showing you how to do it. Everything I know regarding garment repair comes from my mom or the internet. But if you can lend it at the library or get it for a good price/free it's of course nice to have all the information stored in one book.

No. 793258

i feel all you hair loss anons

>try getting into headscarves to cover bald patches

>think i look like a cool old hollywood actress
>instead everyone assumes i'm a muslim because i'm brown

you can't win

No. 793263

>>793046
Lmao definitely learned this when I still bought shit from YesStyle. Yes sometimes there were brands that were genuinely good quality (like now dead Sechune), but majority of the clothes I got from there had poor materials and craftwork despite the good reviews.

No. 793265

>>793258
>>793175
>>793162
>>793135

Here to join you in this misery anons. Literally everything hair related has become triggering for me now. Every second on the internet I see bald jokes or have to listen to friends make jokes about being bald etc. It’s so exhausting to live your life with all ups and downs and then also having to carry this constant reminder with you that you’re losing hair. I can’t even put it into words how miserable my life has become. I’m not bald yet but I most likely will be before I even hit 30. It’s a curse. That’s the only way I can describe it. My hair was the only thing that I genuinely liked and got compliments for. I feel like my life will make another complete 180 once I lose all my hair, and I’m not sure if I’ll be mentally strong enough to handle it.

I wish you all the best. I hope you’re stronger than me and have good support system.

No. 793268

File: 1619552123394.jpg (72.29 KB, 650x650, ebin inspirobot quote.jpg)

I wish all of humanity was less focused on sex, life would be so much better. I never think of sex and my life is wonderful

No. 793281

File: 1619552782137.jpeg (87.18 KB, 954x1009, 581A09C4-841B-4FC6-BD47-ECC355…)

Anyone else here hate their bfs family? Bunch of annoying ass bored ass gossiping Karens. Majority of them don’t even know me. But because his dumb ass runs his mouth every time we have a little problem in our relationship they hate me and he’s an angel of course. He just won’t shut the fuck up and stop it. And then he expects me to want to go and hang out with his family. I’d rather cut my own arm off. Reeee

No. 793284

>>792837
Yeah no shit Shirlock, I am not gonna make excuses and you're right I do lack the disipline or whatever. I am just a fat cow who will probably stay mad and fat the rest of her life. Yeah no one is innocent specially those fat acceptance bitches who preach about being fat and get mad at anyone who tries to better themselves.

No. 793285

>>793265
anon i'm sure you've considered it already but maybe you could invest in a lace front wig? they can look really realistic and i know it is still so shitty losing hair but you can hide it from the world at large at least, wigs are socially acceptable now for women. i totally understand that it doesn't make up for losing your natural hair though but it's something

No. 793288

>>793281
The boyfriend is my ex now, but I did hate his family (except for his mom, who unsurprisingly had no interaction with the others). Should've been yet another red flag in hindsight, as he inherited most of his worst qualities from them. Sounds like your partner is playing a part in making things worse too. Not saying to dump him since I don't know your situation, but hope you keep an eye on that for your sake.

No. 793289

>>793281
i know this is a huge assumption to make out of a single anon post but your boyfriend sucks anon

No. 793292

Trying to find a new apartment between $300-$400 a week in this city without furnishings included sucks. Stop including them! I want a 2 bedroom so I can use the other room as my sewing studio! Not to be told "No sorry we cannot rent it without the double bed in each room". I have my own furniture too, I don't want to have to rent a one bedroom place simply because unfurnished one bedrooms are going for the same price as furnished 2 bedrooms. That's ridiculous. I am so close to renting a storage container and putting an apartments furnishings in it so that I can rent a 2 bedroom furnished place and take it all out so that I can have my own fucking bed and couch and shit.

No. 793299

I’m afraid I’n constantly talking too much or oversharing. On my good days I see myself as someone who is very friendly and talkative towards other people but then I start thinking that others want me to shut up.

No. 793301

I'm so bored in my relationship, I crave strong negative and positive feelings as well as feeling obsessed about my partner. I don't know what to do!!!! My therapist has been useless in that regard

No. 793302

>>793301
Being obsessed is not a good thing tbh. What is your life in relationship like? Maybe there's too much routine?

No. 793308

i don't know if this is rational or not but it really annoys me when women think it's totally cool and normal to have certain points of discussions with their boyfriends. ie "discussing" (or judging) the bodies of celebrities ie mainly breasts and other sexual parts
like cool your bf tells you to your face his very important and detailed opinion on why lindsay lohan had the best tits in 2005
is it so wrong to keep your man in line sometimes? you don't need to indulge in every single prompt you're given

No. 793310

>>793281
Everyone does this. People who talk to their family about stuff often run their mouths about their significant other. It's shitty of them to make judgements about you though

No. 793311

>>793302
I don't think routine is anon's problem kek

No. 793316

>>793301
I can somewhat relate. I really want to be in a relationship where I'm obsessed over, but in a positive way (ie. no possessiveness or domineering behavior directed towards me in any way, only him being extremely devoted and really wanting to make me happy to a fault). I just think it would be really fun to experience that sort of overly intimate love, and reciprocate it as well.
>>793308
Of course this is rational. But when it gets to that point there is no "keeping him in line", when he deserves to get slam dunked into the nearest dumpster.

No. 793320

>>793302
>Being obsessed is not a good thing tbh
I'm aware, but because my formative relationship was abusive, full of ups and down as well as me being trauma bonded and obsessed with him, I still crave those kind of dynamics even though it's been years and I should know better.
To be honest, routine definitely is a problem. Another thing is that as much as I love my bf, I've never been crazily in love with him. I cannot glorify him. All of this bothers me and I hate it.
I don't know if there is any healthy way to bring strong emotions into the relationship… it makes me wanna cry.
>>793311
What do you think is my problem (beyond what I stated)? I know you are being sarcastic, but at this point I'm willing to listen to any and all takes

No. 793321

>>793209
nta but thank you for this post anon!

I did some sashiko style embroidery while making myself a laptop case and it's so fulfilling and fun to do. I also handsewed myself a shirt last year and while it was incredibly tedious, the result was wonderful. My goal this year to not buy any clothing at all, maybe next year I'll thrift around and upcycle some cute pieces I can find!

No. 793327

>>793320
You've mentioned your therapist was useless in that regard, did you maybe consider changing a therapist? Because from the sound of it here there will be no easy solution, and even if you leave your bofriend and get a new one with whom you'll get intense strong emotions again it will either become toxic or the initial flame will become smaller again and you'll find yourself in the same situation. Long term healthy relationships are not intense and obsessive, so if you seek that you'll probably need to work through your unhealthy need to feel these things. Maybe seek them somewhere else? Stupid idea and a shortcut, but some kind of extreme sports to give you an adrenaline rush somewhere else than the relationship. Maybe if you do is together, sharing them will actually help you bond with your boyfriend stronger in a way that could be more meaningful to you?

No. 793334

>>793327
>You've mentioned your therapist was useless in that regard, did you maybe consider changing a therapist?
I'm kinda considering, but I will give her some more time. It's kinda hard for me to judge since she's been helpful with other stuff, and I'm a complicated case (have tons of vaguely related problems). I brought this topic up for the first time with her. She started suggesting that maybe I'm projecting my boredom related to being almost unemployed at the moment. Which is bullshit, the only thing that I give a fuck when it comes to work is getting my money. I do not want to get nervous about someone else's problems. I had to tell straight on what I think is the source of my problem. What she suggested was helpful in regard to working on another aspect of our relationship, but not my need for obsessive relationship.
I wish my partner was a Great Man, someone that I could look up to. But he's not, and it's ruining everything for me, even though I love him. This is gonna sound stupid, but I've always wanted a relationship like Sylvia Plath's and Ted Hughes. You know, except without cheating, suicide (unless mutual, kek) and domestic violence. To have a partner that is a strong, dependent person that I feel crazy in love with.
>Stupid idea and a shortcut, but some kind of extreme sports to give you an adrenaline rush somewhere else than the relationship. Maybe if you do is together, sharing them will actually help you bond with your boyfriend stronger in a way that could be more meaningful to you?
I will think about it! ♥

No. 793347

this retarded online acquaintance of mine keeps pestering me about her dating mishaps and I couldn't care less.

we pretty much bonded over our traumas, fairly identical lives and outlooks, even though I am a couple years her junior.

I am merely a shell of my former self nowadays yet she's still the same as ever, sulking over anything that gets in her way.

how do I disassociate myself from this person?

No. 793348

Allergies are fucking throttling me. I grew up thinking I didn't have allergies and never had even a little springtime sniffle then I moved to the East coast and boom I feel like I'm fucking dying in the spring. I hate this rancid fucking place

No. 793349

>>793334
Ah I see. I think there could be a chance you'll come back in therapy to this specific need of obsessive, intense feelings later, maybe you'll approach it from a differend side, not straight on like you did before, as you happen to discuss something else and realize it's linked? I totally understand not wanting to change a therapist at the moment though. Hopefully it will get addressed.
Also to be clear, I think it's not an irrational desire to want your partner to be someone accomplished you could look up to in certain way, but it's not very realistic to hope to always feel crazy in love. You shouldn't feel like you have to stay with your boyfriend because it's just stable and nice when he's not meeting your other needs, just be sure it's not coming from some unreasonable need coming from past trauma and abuse.

No. 793366

>>793349
>. You shouldn't feel like you have to stay with your boyfriend because it's just stable and nice when he's not meeting your other needs, just be sure it's not coming from some unreasonable need coming from past trauma and abuse.
Fuck, this is such a typical lolcow reply, but I don't want to break up with him. I have huge issues with abandoning people, plus we have strong relationship on many fronts. At the same time, I worry that he may not be enough, or that he already isn't. But I also cannot imagine my life without him. Plus, all of this may be a result of my unhappiness with his behavior combined with my mental issues, including euphoric recall. I don't think I'm completely in my right judgment atm. I legit kinda want to slash my leg just to feel something. I don't know why, but self-destructive behavior is much more attractive to me than stability, self-care and the like. Blegh.

No. 793373

>>793366
I'm not encouraging the break up at the moment in your case for sure! Just a general thought for a future stable mind maybe; but my completely subjective thoughts from talking with you right now is that it would be actually amazing if you got through your issues and as you go you'll realize you're actually falling deep in love in the calming stability this strong relationship could provide you and realize that you maybe you actually prefer this thing you share with him than some fictional crazy love idea.

No. 793374

>>793281
I think a dude's family dynamic is extremely telling of his character. My bf's family is rather matriarchal. They're older, feminist women in education/academia. I think it contributed a lot to his nigel qualities.
Your bf sounds like a little bitch enabled by a bunch of son-worshiping handmaids.

No. 793375

Real tired of retards who say "hurr just hide the image". Like bipch, I'm browsing from the catalog

No. 793389

Ok so first after my father dies when I'm 6 years old I'm told it was from heart failure. At 18, she tells me that actually it was skin cancer but she was advised by a child psychologist or whatever that heart failure would be less scary and easier to understand for a child. Ok, I get it but I think it would be fair to tell me the truth a bit earlier in my teens. Anyway..

One of my aunts died suddenly when I was 10. I was told it had something to do with complications from struma that wasn't discovered or treated properly before it was too late. She had bipolar so I have come to learn later that some of those medications could pose a risk for thyroid health so even though it did seem weird that she'd die from something like that in a first world country not completely impossible? It's around the time of year now of both her birthday and death so my mum is going through it right now. She now suddenly started saying there was a possibility she actually could've killed herself (my mum just seems unable to believe so? I just- why was this not told to me earlier? When I pressed her she became uncomfortable and said we'll talk about it more tomorrow.. I can't right now.

No. 793403

File: 1619560431501.jpg (41.63 KB, 600x337, 15646797100.jpg)

REEEee I wish I had women in my life who knows about cars and plumbing and fixing shit. Most I can do is put together IKEA and change a tire, I didn't spec any point in this skill tree… I get pukey from anxiety whenever something in the house goes bump because I have no fucking clue what's what. I must have got scammed by mechanics and handymans a lot.

The patriarchy failed me. There's a wet spot in the ceiling and I'm hearing weird noises in the attic omfg. I'll go look sad in Home Depot parking lot until some based lady adopts me.

No. 793404

>>793209
ayrt ,thank you so much. I'm scared about info online due to the large amounts of misinformation out there, but the info on books and certain chemicals was really useful

No. 793406

>>793403
Kek good luck nonnie

No. 793415

I wish I never ever lent money out to family. Fuck meee, they act so awkward whenever I ask for it back. I even had the ~audacity~ to offer that they pay me back on a monthly ba