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File: 1585884254730.png (710.23 KB, 640x688, 273C5D52-03F3-439A-A219-6F2DEF…)

No. 535754

Vent your heart out, ladies!

Previous one:
>>>/ot/523788

No. 535763

>>535754
My parents show more interest in their nieces and nephews than me. They will talk about them and how they're either worried or proud of them and I'm over here like Damn wish you had the same energy while raising me, your actual kid.

No. 535765

I'm glad we sold the family house in this shit economy but now our lawyer sounds like she wont see us to finalize it (from probate?) due to the virus. I'm also really going to miss that house it was the last piece of our family. Shit feels weirdly hollow.

No. 535774

God I can’t with these IG “supermodels”. I’m willing to change my mind and maybe being a farmer exposes me to too much bs/I’m old, but to me, a model is a glamorous Naomi or Linda, not this selfie lip filler influencer thing

No. 535782

>>535763
I feel this. My mother makes a point of staying on schedule when she has to pick up my nephew from school or take care of him, meanwhile I have been left waiting at school for an hour or more at a time when I was young, from elementary until high school. Somehow everyone around me at those times blamed me for having to stick around waiting.

No. 535788

I want to tell my mom the truth about my piece of shit-stepfather sexually abusing me since I was a kid but I know and fear the dire consequences; disownment, disbelief then having nowhere else to go because this is the only home I have - I still live with my parents.

I also know when starts randomly accusing her of infidelity with younger men and emotionally abusing her to the point of physical abuse is mostly because of guilty conscience and deflection of his behavior towards me.

He’s always treated me like shit because I’m not biologically his kid and apparently that hasn’t changed even after he became “religious”. For a time he hasn’t mentally abused me; telling me I’m not wanted here, calling me whatever name, sometimes laughing at me when arguing with my mother about him and muttering shit under his mouth which he’s now currently doing other than leering at me.

I’ve tried to move on and tried to forgive him but I don’t think forgetting will make it go away unless I clear my own conscience.

Currently I’m having flashbacks and contemplating cutting myself again.

No. 535802

>>535782
From personal experience this could be because since they're not actually your mother's kids if anything happened to them she would get her ass kicked by her sister or brother? Some of my cousins won't stop fighting over their kids for this reason. There's no excuse for leaving you waiting that long though, unless there were actual emergencies or unplanned shit happening on her way.

No. 535803

>>535765
Sis, i feel you, we decided to sell the house in 2 years time due to taxing and now i'm stuck trying to sell 2 cars with this lockdown going on. Managed to sell one to a dealership with an ok price but the other one i need to sell to collectors. The dead keep fucking w us beyond grave.

No. 535824

Boss expects us to contact clients and ask them why they stopped ordering from us/if they still work. How the fuck am I supposed to ask this without sounding like a huge cunt? We're in lockdown, were hit by an earthquake a week ago, people lost their homes and jobs and my boss wonders why people aren't ordering. Jesus fucking christ

No. 535831

>>535824
Can you phrase it like you already know they're not ordering for obvious reasons but that you just wanted to double check for your records or to manage stock levels or something?

No. 535843

>>535831
Yea, I made some shit up but it's still retarded

No. 535851

Took Zantac for years for acid reflux. It got recalled for possible cancer inducing chems. LOL FUCK lawsuit bux when.

No. 535893

>>535851
Yikes, I know that if you leave acid reflux untreated for years that's considered a cancer risk in itself. My dad takes prescription antacids for that reason so it's extra shitty when you consider that people are told to take antacids as a preventative to cancer

No. 535925

My mom´s a healthcare worker. Last week the neighbours send her a card that said "We're thinking of you" and today a bouquet of flowers with a card saying "Thank you for your hard work!!" (my mom laughed because she spent last night on the intensive care lounging around and eating easter chocolate while getting paid because there was nothing to do). Anyway we're on perfectly good terms with our neighbours but really rarely ever speak to them. Just me or does this come off as so fake and pretentious and exaggerated? Like calm down, my mom's just doing her work like she has been doing tens of years and she's just glad to still have a paid job. It's not THAT big of a deal.

In general to be honest, everyone's like "We have to support each other through these tERRIBLE times", makes me wanna gag. I can't pinpoint what exactly frustrates me about it, but ugh it strikes me as so very fake and exaggerated.

No. 535928

>>535925
i'm just glad to hear people rallying around nationalized healthcare systems and their workers for once. some anon a couple days ago was talking about her friend who'd shit on the NHS to no end but now that it's cool to praise or whatever, is praising it and acting as if she didn't want it privatized etc. if this kind of fake and gay social pressure can do something good, whatever, that's ultimately worth putting up with how inauthentic and annoying people are. god knows when there isn't a pandemic there's no shortage of people looking to shit on them while they're being systematically defunded as if that isn't the point, and call for their privatization. hope people see how well that has been faring in america.

No. 535929

>>535925
I think I know what you mean, people are letting fear mongering get to them and are acting like they're going through something unbearable when the majority of them are students watching netflix at home and that's it. This said - at some places, some hospitals, it's already very very hard. About these we hear on the media, not about the ones that are still a bit chill. Medical staff on the front lines in the COVID wards are often volunteering, not minding the general fear, and deserve recognition because usually it is a hard job. Just accept the gifts, it's not mean-spirited and actually really nice.

I'm very happy for your mom to still have a relatively chill time at the hospital. My mom is a nurse (in a COVID ward) and so far it's okay too. I hope it stays this way.

No. 535931

>>535925
They're not thinking about the healthcare workers who haven't been impacted, they're tuning in to MSMs and seeing the horrifying testimonies of healthcare workers and seeing those people cry and call for help on national tv. They just assume it's as difficult for all of them anywhere. I'm sure they mean well. At least they're sending actual physical sentiments that show a level of effort to care, as opposed to only virtue signaling on social media.

No. 535933

>>535931
i don't see anything wrong with that though. imo, better to assume things are worse than better. sounds like a nice gesture, but i'd personally feel uncomfortable myself if i wasn't actually in the desperate position they assumed me to be in.

No. 535944

>>535929
>Just accept the gifts, it's not mean-spirited and actually really nice.

Oh yeah my mom definitely accepted and enjoys the flowers! Sorry if my post came across as really ungratefull, it's not that at all. I just can't shake this feeling that it's a bit weird.

>people are letting fear mongering get to them and are acting like they're going through something unbearable when the majority of them are students watching netflix at home and that's it.


I think this is exactly what bothers me about it

>>535931
>At least they're sending actual physical sentiments that show a level of effort to care, as opposed to only virtue signaling on social media.

You're right, that's definitely true. I hadn't thought about that.

No. 535972

I don’t know how to deal with this. I love my boyfriend, I truly do. But sometimes he does things that deceive me so much I start to think I’m not in love with him.
He’s someone who’s always calm and quiet but when something pisses him off he tends to get REALLY mad. And I try to make him feel better just being there for him, if he doesn’t want me to speak, I don’t, f he doesn’t need encouraging words I understand it but he always, always finds a way to get angry with me too.
Right now his work called to tell him he won’t be working for them anymore (which is understandable) and he got upset (I think it’s normal after all). The thing is I remained silent just to let him calm down and all I asked was what he wanted for dinner and then he started calling me all those horrible things, telling me I’m always there to make him feel even more shittier, that I’m the worst and that I should let him at all for once and…I don’t know.
Tomorrow he’ll be all lovely and nice as usual and I will be remembering how much those words hurt because even after all these years he has the power to make me feel like I’m wrong, always, no matter what.
And I get that everyone’s different and he doesn’t think these things he said but I always wonder why I have to feel this way when all I tried was my best.
I never judge him, even when I can. I always try to choose the right words to make things better and even then it’s not enough, I feel like I’m never enough and I’m tired because I love him even when he doesn’t deserve it sometimes.

No. 535975

>>535972
i can understand being frustrated, and right now is particularly trying time, but the fact that he routinely does this and takes it out on you is really damaging. this is some bipolar ass bullshit. once all of this pandemic shit is over, you should consider trying to get him to get some help, or to mindfully work on himself, because there's literally no reason for these types of reactions.

No. 535984

>>535972
He takes his anger out on you because he knows he can get away with it.

Men will always, always treat you the way they think you deserve to be treated.

If you marry him, expect that to be a confirmation that he not only can continue this behavior, but likely amplify it.

No. 535985

>>535944
Alot of people are stuck at home right now feeling nervous. They wanna help but they're not able to do much. They probably sent the gifts as a way to manifest their anxiety about the situation into a somewhat positive thing.

No. 535991

why is greyhound such a shit company? before the pandemic, i was supposed to be in seattle this week and purchased a bus ticket from them that was around $75. i asked for a cancellation/evoucher several weeks ago and still have heard NOTHING from them. for fuck's sake, at least hurry up and first refund the people who were planning on going to seattle.

No. 535992

>>535972
This piece of shit is using you as his emotional punching bag. You shouldn't feel like you have to walk on eggshells to placate your boyfriend, anon.

My first thought is to break up. Even if he doesn't get mad often, he'll be like this in serious times when you both need to be calm. Do you want to build a life with someone like that? He either doesn't give a shit about your feelings to control his anger, or is too stupid to understand how much he's hurting you. If you don't want to break up, talk to him when he's calm about dealing with his anger issues. If he denies it's an issue, or doesn't understand how important it is to fix then please leave him.

No. 536010

>>535972
This is exactly how my dad is and it’s just not worth it anon. It’s an abusive cycle that’ll just land you in a terrible marriage like my parents.

No. 536011

Men with long hair are the only type of man I'm attracted to. Why are so many men bald? My mom's from a remote native town and said none of the men there ever went bald unless they were like 90. The only long-haired guys here are fatass metalheads.

No. 536012

Raise your hand if our period synced! I LEAKED ON MY SHEET AND I WOKE UP FULL OF RAGE.

No. 536014

>>535972
Every time a post starts with "I love my boyfriend" I know I'm about to read some fucky shit

No. 536022

>>536014
It's depressing isn't it.
Why is that detail even necessary for the reader, if you are in a relationship with someone can we not assume you love them?
At this point, all it seems like to me is farmers trying to protect their own ego and diffuse the major cognitive dissonance they're about to get (my partner does X which is abusive/awful/stressful = bad, but I love him = good).

No. 536027

>>536011
I feel your pain anon. The only reason there aren't more of them is because other men make fun of them for having long hair because it's "feminine". My ex often got shit for it, especially because he straightened it.

No. 536035

>>536027
Not sure what your ethnicity is or what your ethnic preference is but hispanics and especially arab men tend to grow their hair out where I live (chicago area) and it actually looks nice because they have thick/wavy hair. I agree though, I can't do guys with buzzcuts anymore and especially not bald guys.

No. 536038

This quarantine is causing me to reflect back on every embarrassing thing I've ever done, and every time I've been wrong or disrespected by someone. It's especially bad at night and I've been sleeping at around 3 am because of it. And because I'm quarantined with my family, I can't stop thinking about how much they've each individually screwed up some aspect of my life. It sucks because I thought I've gotten over all this shit.

No. 536042

>>535991
God Greyhound is shit, although how I got a vouchers was through @ them on twitter, I got a response almost immediately. Although my voucher will only last for a year, and Covid-19 will probably make them expire.

my problem happened in December though, so maybe things are different now.

No. 536043

this virus and its fallout makes me very pessimistic about my dreams and career goals post undergrad. i'm graduating soon and have no idea how i'd sustain myself in this world with a mf history degree. the world just stopped so i'd have no opportunities

No. 536044

>>536035
I'm from eastern europe sooo, none really here lol, oh well

No. 536048

I was worried about having corona when I started coughing yesterday but today it feels like I have a sinus infection. My ears and nose are all congested and I don’t have a fever but it makes me wonder if I’ll be double fucked if I wind up catching it too.

No. 536049

I joined a group chat and it was fun at first but now I'm overwhelmed by the messages. I reply sometimes but feel like nobody cares anyway. I also feel insecure and jealous of some of the people. Either I'm lonely 24/7 or just don't feel like doing basic human interaction during this time of social distancing…I can never win lol

No. 536050

>>536011
I like long hair on men but it´s too bad it´s rare and usually badly kept on a greasy guy here in western europe

No. 536053

>>535972
>even after all these years he has the power to make me feel like I’m wrong, always, no matter what.

And he'll keep doing that even if you stay with him for another 50 years, you'll still feel like that and he'll still make you feel like that after 50 years.

No. 536058

>>535972
>>535984
>If you marry him, expect that to be a confirmation that he not only can continue this behavior, but likely amplify it.

this this this. I've seen it with my own parents and my own sick mind of a father. I hope that if you take any advice from what was said here, you'll remember this. Please don't get trapped in an emotional abusive relationship anon.

No. 536068

>>536042
Thanks for the tip. I might just do that. In any case, I’m going to try my best to avoid this shit company in the future.

No. 536069

>>536038
I feel you. All this staying in and inactivity is causing my mind go back toward reflecting on negative events in my life. It’s been pretty unpleasant.

No. 536094

I'm the anon from >>>/ot/506243 and lol, she ended up cheating on me guys. It was not physical (thankfully) but she sexted with him for a long time and told me that he would write so many paragraphs, insulting me and telling her to break up with me for no actual reason, and she even said that she considered doing that and would sometimes even ignore my messages and talk to him instead. She actually fucking did that. I found out a few hours ago and I still haven't recovered from the shock and anger and I am trying so hard not to cry from the betrayal right now. I knew my instincts were right and that there was something going on behind my back as soon as I saw all the things she used to do with him and how she acted so lovey dovey, but I didn't want to believe it and kept telling myself I am just being unnecessarily jealous and just kept going and tried my best to make her happy. I feel like the biggest fucking clown ever. I am literally such an idiot, I let her take advantage of me and my kindness.

She basically told me everything today after they had a falling out and stopped being friends a few days ago and she was like "Did he groom me? I felt like I got groomed by him." like wow, this is about you now? Everything you did and it's still about you? Fuck you.

No. 536096

I saw a text my bf wrote about a girl he had a crush on before he dated me. He said she was so frail and cute that he just wanted nothing more than to protect her and keep her safe. I'm a fat chubbo in the overweight range and he's never cared about keeping me safe or protecting me. I was raped while dating him and he still gets mad at me for not taking the trash out in the dark when he's not home and said I'd be fine. He also didn't care when some internet dude showed up at my house unannounced when I had never given him my address and he lived across the country. He never really cares about me getting hurt and it makes me feel so bad because I think he would care if I was skinny. I've lost weight recently and he told me two days ago I'm not losing it fast enough even though I've been skipping eating a lot and slipped back into binge purge cycle. Eh. Anyway just wanted to vent. I know I'm at fault for a lot of this because I'm a fat mess with history of ED and I'm taking it way too personally. Just wanted to get it out since I know it's ridiculous and I wouldn't want to embarrass myself telling anyone I actually know.

No. 536099

>>536096
you're not at fault for that, anon
the way he's acting is just straight up disgusting and disrespectful towards you, why are you even doing this to yourself? you go and take your sweet time losing weight, you shouldn't feel like you gotta appease some faggo who's into uwu girls when he cannot even treat you, his girlfriend, right

No. 536100

File: 1585948059449.gif (863.16 KB, 500x280, pigeon man.gif)

How do I move on from someone? It's been half a year now since I decided to leave him as I wasn't happy in the relationship - it was like I was constantly looking for validation from him, waiting for some sort of sign that he cared but it was like this wasn't going anywhere. I've been trying to put myself out there again, even found a few guys I got along well with, but everything eventually backfired. I feel so fucking unwanted and unloved - like I'm just meant to be alone. I don't know what to do. I don't have a will to do much anymore besides mope around the house and cry over why things couldn't be different. I wasn't happy with my ex, but I miss him still. I know this isn't the advice thread but any sort of input would be very much appreciated.

No. 536105

>>536096
please leave him. he really sounds horrible, uncaring, and damaging to you.

No. 536107

>>536096
He’s an absolute piece of shit who does not love you. Get out of there ASAP. A man who does not care about your safety or trauma and who encourages you to hurt your body to fit his aesthetics is not someone you should spend your life with.

No. 536109

>>536100
I hate to say this but it will take more time as well as effort. Working on building your self-esteem and finding hobbies/activities to do will also help a lot. Sorry to say this but that feeling you mentioned of being unloved and unwanted sounds to me like a self-esteem issue at its root. It sounds like you were heavily dependent on him which adds into that. It’s not going to be easy but you have to put effort into building up the strength to overcome this if you want to get over those feelings.

No. 536143

>>536100
Hi anon, it sucks to hear you're in a lonely place right now. I've been there myself after ending my first ever relationship and reflecting on this piece of advice helped me so much: a relationship is meant to add to your life, not complete it.

You must be happy with yourself to be happy in a relationship, or else you'll likely fall into the same pattern of seeking validation from your future partner and feeling disappointed when it doesn't make you feel fulfilled. The best thing you can do for yourself now is to focus on only you and your life: what are your career goals? What are some skills you want to learn? What hobbies could you explore? Try starting a diary and jotting down your every day thoughts, if you're into video games, try playing a single player game or replaying some of your favourite. Are there any books you'd like to read? Doing things like this will help you to focus on yourself, which is all that matters. The reality is you'll find someone else in your life time, probably a fair few somebody-else's. What will make it different is if you've made personal development so that you don't need a relationship to feel valued, and that you don't feel unloved when being single. This is the golden time to develop personal traits you admire in others, in yourself anon!

No. 536150

File: 1585954001962.jpg (51.94 KB, 600x450, weeb.jpg)

Being stuck in the house is making me regress back into teenage weeb legbearddom.

No. 536152

File: 1585954208984.png (484.47 KB, 1253x1280, 1585869952480.png)

>>536150
you aren't alone. I've been watching anime and drinking box wine. It's not all terrible I guess…..

No. 536156

Sp I cheated on my husband and I'm not making excuses it was wrong. He would always blame me for why he doesnt study, why hes not successful and why he wont do well in life. So I said "fuck it" and cheated in left because I didnt want to be one of those women in her 40s who becomes her husbands punching bag because hes a "failure". I decided to come back and try to fix things but he says hes been crushing on some girl at work and he wants to talk to me while figuring out if he can date her.
I'm black and hes Indian. His parents hate me because I'm black. I've never even lived with this man.

I already know hes going to pick the white girl if she wants him because his family will accept a white girl and they live near each other.

I know I cheated first but fuck that I'm not going back.

No. 536158

>>536156
are you that anon whose indian bf was shitting up the vent thread a few weeks ago

No. 536159

>>536158
Its very likely. Link to the posts?

No. 536161

>>536159
all the shit he said got deleted anyway but there are still some of the posts of anons replying to him
idek if you're aware but he was trying sooo hard to make himself look like the biggest victim ever uwu

>>>/ot/520875

No. 536162

>>536156
Lol, gross. What even is this story? What a weird, trash relationship. So what if you cheated? You barely even had a husband. I hope the white girl isn't an idiot and he's just imagining he has a shot, like idiots tend to do. If you feel bad, don't.

No. 536163

File: 1585956680103.jpg (25.18 KB, 571x390, IMG_20180917_113223.jpg)

>>536156
This reminds me of a post I read a long time ago on c.c of a black girl who was dating an indian robot with racist parents who threw a fit in public, broke his own phone, and then blamed it on her. I hope you're not actually her and she didn't marry him after that because that would make this post even sadder.

No. 536169

>>536159
he posted your picture on r9k and was shitting on you all over r9k. you can probably find the post through the r9k archive. just out of curiosity, would you have cheated on him if he was less shit and his parents were less shit? definitely don't talk to him anymore. like, "going back" is definitely not an option, but don't speak to him again for any reason

No. 536174

>>536049
Been there anon, don't stress over it. Just post your random stuff or reply to people who post stuff you like. It takes some time but you can build good frienships.

No. 536182

>>536156
Am I reading this right? You’ve never even lived with your husband?

No. 536186

>>536156
why do you both keep coming on lc to rant about each other like little kids and not fix it irl by visiting a marriage counselor or some shit because it's very clear that you both are not meant to be

cannot wait for your man to come here and try to explain himself again after this

No. 536190

>>536186
I didnt know he was coming here to vent this is news to me

No. 536191

>>536186
theres nothing for them to repair tho

No. 536199

>>536191
This. He's verbally abusive and she cheated on him. There's nothing there for them.

No. 536208

File: 1585962342230.gif (772.82 KB, 260x221, 1495307351374.gif)

>Bf goes on paid leave so he now has a ton of time on his hands
>mfw he's now jerking it three times a day and started watching porn again

You'd think dying in Blood borne would keep that dingus busy enough

No. 536210

>>536208
I swear y'all are really wasting your time on various pornsick potato creatures

No. 536213

>>536208
cut his pp
no pp for him

No. 536215

File: 1585963113426.jpg (19.63 KB, 500x376, 549381_824391697644744_3383307…)

>>536208
tfw no boyfriend during quarantine

No. 536217

File: 1585963186616.jpg (96.43 KB, 1200x675, 1562528557697.jpg)

>>536210
>implying im not gonna do anything about it

kek

>>536213
LMAO
I think im just gonna cut him off entirely


Wish me luck y'all

No. 536221

Good luck. Leave his potato ass in the dust. He can cry about it to a screen.

No. 536222

File: 1585963530351.jpeg (31.25 KB, 500x326, 84AAC97E-0068-4B41-83BB-305439…)

>>536217
Bitch you are community role model

No. 536223

>>536208
How do you know that?

No. 536278

>>536215
Not having a boyfriend during quar is so fun, it’s nice not having anyone to pressure me to break the law to hang out with them, and it’s just gonna be 100x more fun going out with friends and talking to new guys after this whole situation.

No. 536289

I'm so depressed. Nothing makes me happy and I cannot do anything to make myself happy, I can't focus on anything. I'm always extremely tired, experiencing dissociative symptoms etc

I was an online sex worker and basically was pushed into the industry since I was underaged (17) and then did it until recently because I got addicted to the money since I grew up extremely poor. I'm in college but I don't think I will pass this academic year. I sort of wanna go back to sex work because I wanna have the money to do some things I wanna do before I kill myself, I know I will kill myself before 30. I hate sex work and everything they say about men in pink pill it is true, my already shitty life was made even shittier because I was brutally raped at 8 and those memories will never leave me. I wish there would be a way to make money online other than sex work for me.

No. 536313

File: 1585984641690.jpg (38.38 KB, 640x640, 72847220_2571704032875669_3368…)

I have a perfect boyfriend who is caring and supportive and sweet and good looking and good in bed and he even has money and comes from a good family why am I not happy

It's not that I don't love him but he doesn't make me happy and every time he is sweet to me and caring I only feel worse and I don't know why

No. 536316

>>536313
girl, do you care for HIM or what he does for you? not to say you're shallow, but you listed what he brings to the table. he may be or sound great, but may not be the man for you. and that's okay, you can't force yourself to be in love with someone. he might also be shitty in subtle ways or just not compatible with you.

did you always have this guilt and dissatisfaction while dating him?
if not, it might stem from some other source of dissatisfaction in your life. maybe you're moving past the honeymoon stage, and the nature of your relationship is shifting? or you're depressed, feel insecure about yourself, etc. idk. i'm just throwing shit out there. i want my fellow farmers to be happy!

No. 536327

Sorry I know no one wants to hear about this anymore but… I’ve been alone all my life yet never felt more alone than now and I’m bitter af knowing I’m missing so many things in my life most people have (love and friends mainly) and I can’t stop thinking about how I must die soon because of all of this going on, I mean there’s no reason for me to even be here in the first place. I hate how paranoid and irrational I’ve become in the past year. I know I’m the reason I’m alone and I can’t think of a way out of my head. I wonder how many people kill themselves because they can’t see a positive outcome for this. It truly feels like the world is ending, seeing how badly our economy and social structures are dealing. But I’m not sure how much I’m over reacting… I guess I’ll just wait it out just from sheer curiousity.

No. 536333

File: 1585992526207.jpg (27.52 KB, 564x564, 907d83bb0f246be084d693ecabd1b1…)

I hate it when my male friends get girlfriends. Not because I get jealous or possessive, but because the girlfriends always turn super bitchy against me who's the only single woman in our mixed sex friend group. They're cordial towards the girls who are in a relationship, but always stare daggers at me, give me the coldest shoulder and clearly tell their boyfriends to distance themselves from me because it always happens. Like girl what the fuck I'm a haggard lesbian I'm not interested in your goddamn boyfriend!!! I'd like to be your friend too but you had to ruin it!!! christ!!!

No. 536335

>>536333
Bitches are wack. Sry u have to deal.

No. 536337

>>536333
You must be hot

No. 536350

I just had a good ol' crying session. This 29 year old dude I talked to for like 6 months online was just messaging me from the other number that I hadn't blocked and ughhhhh it just made me cry so hard. I mean, yeah I know I did the right thing blocking him since I used to send him nudes while I was a minor etc and he enjoyed that. But fuck, I still feel sad. I'm 18 now, so maybe I could start talking to him again? I shouldn't I know but I just feel bad. He must be so sad. His messages just broke me down.

No. 536352

>>536333
Do they know that you’re a lesbian?
Maybe they’re just homophobic lmao

No. 536353

>>536350
Anon please don’t talk to him or feel bad for him. He’s a predator. Block his ass and never look back.

No. 536356

Last night I suggested to my mum that maybe the third or fourth wine glass should be the last as she could always have some more tomorrow instead. I guess I should've just shut up but she would have found something I said to get hung up on because I know how she gets the rare times she gets a bit tipsy.
She told me I was not the police, started saying she could just leave the house to me alone, how I was "stupid".
I just ended up trying to go to bed which was hard when she blared music upstairs. My sleep was ruined and my mood is still low.

No. 536360

>>536356
>she told me I was not the police
Hahaha, someone's not handling the isolation well. I totally get where she's coming from - since the pandemic, you can't do this can't do that can't go anywhere, and someone trying to restrict you further is bound to elicit an overreaction. But she sounds like a bratty teenager lol

No. 536362

>>536360
Yeah, I was just trying to look out for her lol. She stays at home most of the time so I don't think she feels particularly restricted during these times but for other reasons it had been a hard day for her emotionally.

No. 536365

>>536362
Good on you for looking after her.
I hope you day gets better!

No. 536366

I thought I was smart, until I got done in by a little fat mr.niceguy.
He wasn't blatantly manipulative, or maybe he was but I was too focused on seeing the best in him or being forgiven because we were just two people trying to get better and help each other. Too bad he was a controlling, victim playing, gas lighting piece of shit and I am and was so fucking out of his league. I was so patient every single time, every time he'd insult me, mock me or treat with disdain just because he was upset over some bullshit and he'd even sit there and talk about how he was toxic and better out of my life. I never lied to him about anything. He was the type of faggot that would pretend everything was fine and then be passive aggressive. Fuck you dude. Fuck you so much. You took advantage of the fuck that I genuinely cared for you.

You got mad I had fucking friends.
You told me you didn't want me hanging out with a new friend group but that oh noo that was toxic to say and you were sorry for feeling that way but that didnt stop you from then turning that into ME comforting YOU because you made a big deal about leaving the friendship because we weren't "compatible"…because you didnt want me hanging out with this new friend group because they would influence me.

How everytime you were upset over some bullshit ass reason you would be so fucking arrogant and mean and I would sit there holding my tongue and just trying to be patient and work things out because I cared about you.

How much of this shit, looking back was blatant manipulation? or were you just too toxic and caught up in your own bs to not realize how bad your behavior was.

You got mad at me for not getting rid of items I was sentimental about that belonged to someone who had been special to me. You got mad I used a fucking emoticon that a friend of mine used because it meant I was "too close" to them. You got mad I went and celebrated with a friend. You got mad that I didn't stick to my diet when you brought junk food over except I told you not to bring any junk food REPEATEDLY. You got mad that I was still friends with someone was a big part of my life romantically. You got mad that I decided to use a stupid crosshair except you bought 50$ cheats for a different game and then you were using that as a reason to tell me that you were so disappointed in me and that you were leaving the friendship. You got mad that I bantered with friends. You got mad that I shared my jewelry collection with my friends. And in almost every single one of these situations, I was the one who would end up comforting YOU. Asking you to stay, to calm down to stop being so fucking toxic. Never once did I sit there insulting you or treating you like you were stupid like you did to me. You insulted me and belitted me while I was feeling suicidal, when i confronted you about it. You just got angry and said that you didn't mean to do that and you were just trying to help. Except the literal words you used were insults yet somehow you were angry at me. "How could you think I would do that you" and then act as if you giving me your time and care just by talking to me was somehow enough brush over that and how dare I be upset.

Fuck you. But it didnt end there, nahhh you just couldn't end things on a good note could you. You encouraged me for so long to do what was best for myself and when I did it, you threatened suicide, showed up at my house repeatedly when I told you that I wasn't coming back to the friendship. What makes it even fucking worse is that you even asked that if I knew you were at the door, if I would leave you standing there and you fucking abused that because I was too fucking nice to you. Never in my life had I been so open and raw towards someone and that just had to be you. Youd sit there telling me you werent trying to change my mind but then you still try to initiate contact and conversation even after I told you I was fucking done. or whatever the fuck we had. You got mad, told me you wished you had never met me. That I was the reason you were feeling suicidal and were going to commit suicide but then nah its okay to do that to someone right because you told me to "disregard" those comments you had made. When I asked you why you weren't respecting my decision you said that my decision didn't count because I wasn't in a healthy mindset. But all the times I respected your decision when you would leave, that was okay right?

Fuck you.

You know what's funny tho. I would have never left if you hadn't gotten mad that I decided to be a genuine friend to my ex. If you hadn't started being passive aggressive after I asked if you were okay and you said yeah. If you hadn't started throwing a pity party and acting like a little bitch. I still would be here crying almost every single day because of you but desperately caring for you and thinking that it was worth it and okay to be feeling anxious, stressed and emotionally drained all the time because of you. I left originally because I felt like shit over hurting you…because I decided to be friends with a person. lol. Fucking dumb bitch right here. Lo and behold tho, your actions when I left destroyed any blinders or rose colored glasses because hooo boyyy, I'm fucking stupid. I stopped crying for once and I looked back and realized just how fucking shitty and not worth shit you were.

I would still care about you, but you made sure to shit and destroy it and stomp all over the memories and any affection I might have had left for you with your fat acne ridden ass. Fuck you. I didn't care before, I didn't give a shit that you were fat, I just wanted to see you glo up and be happy and wanted to help each other.

But nah, fucking mr.niceguy. Suck a fucking dick. Ever since I left, I've been stewing over the scars and trauma you left.

You told me one day, how you read some reddit story about some chic that shared about a toxic fat guy who was or had been ruining her life. I remember you feeling sad and talking about how you felt that was you and you were ruining my life. I remember telling you that you weren't and to just focus on bettering yourself.

Nah nigga you were right. You were that toxic fat guy ruining my life.

BYE.

No. 536384

>>536096
Just lose the weight anon, he will love you if he finds you attractive, that's just how men are.

No. 536391

>>536096
This whole post makes single life sound so appealing

No. 536397

File: 1586009802076.jpg (113.52 KB, 1280x1280, melody - kuromi.jpg)

I know my issue sounds petty and insignificant compared to the problems that are posted in this thread, but I just need to vent this somewhere.

Why can't I make any art friends in the fandom I'm in or make any online art friends in general? I'm so jealous when I see other artists in the same fandom having fun, giving each other nice comments, having their own artgroup and give each other support by reblogging/retweeting each other's arts.

I actually tried to slowly make friends with some of the artists by leaving comments and reblogging their arts. I even tried to make conversations about the fandom in general but no one bothered to reply. I even drew some arts for a few artists that I like to show appreciation and support but most of them just say thanks and that's it…

I even joined in a few fandom event/challenges to make friends and contribute to the fandom fun but I still fail to make any friends. I did the "drawthisinyourstylechallenge" and no one wanted to participate in mine at all which saddens me.

I'm beginning to lose hope in making any art friends online. All my attempts are for nothing. I'm so frustrated and sad. It feels like I'm being left out of the fandom. I just want a friend that I can relate to and talk about silly fandom/weeb stuff because I don't have any irl friends that have the same nerdy and art interest as me.

Is it because my art is so ugly and not up to their standard that most artists don't want to be friends with me? Or is it because I'm not a popular artist with tiny follower numbers? Or maybe I'm being too annoying and pushy? Am I dumb for wanting to make online friends at all? I'm slowly beginning to hate art and social media in general. It's funny cuz social media is a tool to make like minded friends and be social but… I failed to make any friends at all! I honestly feel like quitting both art and social media gahhhhh!

tldr:- I just want an art friend to weeb out with and have fun drawing shitty fandom arts together reeeeeeeeeeee!

No. 536400

>>536289
That’s such a fucked up situation for you anon… This isn’t an ethical suggestion but instead of getting back into sw, can’t you find a mild mannered beta provider to date for awhile? Use his money to get you some therapy, let him shoulder some living expenses so you can have time to find yourself again. This strat saved my life. Do what you gotta do though anon. Current objective: Survive!

No. 536404

>>536366
I could feel your raw anger and grief and eventual catharsis. 10/10 vent post. You know your worth now sister.

No. 536406

I'm tired of people who clutch their pearls at the notion of forums/forum culture, especially re: slurs/aggression and questionable politics. I've always approached it from the mindset of, there are going to be people on here who grew up in racist/fascist/misogynistic environments, I'd rather learn about them than turn a blind eye. I don't mean to sound like a pickme, I'll still think they're fucked in the head.

As for slurs, let's not pretend general aggressiveness and saying retarded/sperg/etc is as bad as spewing racial slurs. Grow up

No. 536427

I wanted to buy a bunch of embroidery supplies but I'm afraid that when I get them I'll be so mediocre that it will have seemed like a waste of money. I've watched a bunch of tutorials and have an idea for what I'd want to first create, but I'm also nervous about my low motivation due to depression. If I let these things collect dust I'll just hate myself even more. Maybe I shouldn't.

No. 536429

Other women seethe at me for NOT having kids, I know this sounds like a larp/fictional story.
I feel like they got suckered into the pro life mentality and realized they wanted their own freedom away from their offspring, not motherhood.

Like how am I suppose to respond? It's far too late already they're all middle aged and their kids are already grown.

Just annoying, they knew how to stop motherhood and now they project to me because I didnt make motherhood my priority

No. 536438

>>536406
this isn't the unpopular opinion thread. besides saying stuff like retard or sperg or faggot is more or less to weed out whiny PC cunts who complain about everything. go somewhere else if you want enforced pleasantries.

No. 536455

>>536438
I think you misunderstood my post because I agree with you, I was trying to say Im tired of non-forum users automatically assuming I'm a big evil nazi for going on forums because they're scared to read a "bad" word

No. 536461

>>536427

Just do it, the only way to get good at a hobby is to practice. At some point, everyone starts out as a beginner; the point for you is to get the materials and make an effort to learn and try. It wouldn't be a waste if you were learning.

No. 536463

I only get 3 hours sleep more days than I don't. It's making my aready always irritated self even worse. I hate my job and everyone I work with. Have gained heaps of weight again. Literal autismo femcel who let's everyone walk all over her. Fuck gay life.

No. 536497

My biological clock is getting so hard to tune out. I'm 23 and feel like my life is over because I haven't accomplished so many of the things I set out to by this year. I can't stop thinking about the future and whether or not I'll succeed in doing the things a woman in her 20's is "suppose to achieve"This quarantine is making it that much worse.

No. 536535

>>536497
Pls don't feel bad, anon. I get that feeling too.
I have friends who have stable jobs, and some are even married (ew).
I'm in my 20s and i have just started college, never had a bf, never did anything crazy or exciting.
I pretty much spend all my life at home.
Not everyone is super functioning or has a smooth path from childhood to adulthood, trust me. There's many people like us too.

Don't look at other people, they're not you and you're not them. You're so so young still.

No. 536542

Just got dumped by fiancé. Would love some funny memes/videos to cheer me up.

No. 536577

>>536542
What led up to it anon? I know a couple people in quarantine right now who are reconsidering their relationships.

No. 536579

I'm kinda nervous and it's the same feeling I have when something bad is going to happen tomorrow or just very soon. The pattern has always been the same.

No. 536592

>>536577
Tl;dr version- Had issues for a bit, he never communicates them until I confront him. We talked in January and gave ourselves until May to work on our relationship. Work and school got in the way and miss rona came (I was infected). He was distant because of my illness, then stayed distant and said “this isn’t gonna work”. Who are we kidding, he enjoys his own company than anyone else’s and I wish that was hyperbole.

No. 536593

Jesus christ I just updated my default samsung messaging app and apparently it messaged my entire gallery without permission or a trace in my message logs. Checked and apparently this is a common "bug". Luckily (after many.."hey did I message you any pictures last night?" Type messages) my boyfriend was the only person that received anything. Almost had a panic attack over that shit. Fuck Samsung. I downloaded textra and uninstalled the samsung messaging app.

No. 536597

>>536397
If you want the honest truth, your art doesn't look very good and you seem pushy like you only want to befriend popular artists because they're popular. If you're going after popular artists, you either have to be funny, talented, or have a mutual friend in their inner circle- and sometimes that isn't enough if you just don't click as friends. Drawthisinyourstyle challenge posts only works for people with lots of friends or followers unless you're drawing someone else's OC, then they might notice you. Try joining fandom discords. You don't have to be friends with art people only.

No. 536621

Just saw a parent trying to peddle off a snake on the community app because their six year old "doesn't show interest in it anymore." Bullshit. These parents just need to admit to themselves that they don't want the pet anymore, and it has nothing to do with a kid behaving like a kid whose attention ebbs and weaves. Did they seriously buy an animal expecting that their young child would carry the responsibility of it indefinitely and not grow bored with it ever? If you as a parent are still supervising your kid to dress and take care of themselves, chances are you're gonna wind up with their pet duties at some point too. What's even more pathetic about using their kid as an excuse is that snakes are like the lowest maintainence pets ever. They don't require daily attention and in fact they probably enjoy having as minimal interaction with their owners as possible.
Looking at the picture they posted I feel so bad for it. The tank is on the smaller side for the size of the snake and they didn't even bother getting it any kind of bedding. It just plops itself on newspaper all day. They didn't even bother giving the snake a nicer habitat so it could at least do something cute and entertaining, like burrow in substrate or climb a wooden branch. People are so cruel.

No. 536624

>>536621
you should take the snake if you have the space for it and that way you can make sure that at the very least it’ll be cared for and loved. if you can’t home it, point a friend of yours who can in the direction of the ad. do you know anyone who’s expressed interest in keeping a snake? maybe this is their ticket to a new friend who truly needs a good home!

No. 536625

>>536542


There's a few funny bits in this compilation

No. 536631

File: 1586044344562.jpg (26.83 KB, 211x316, f9e1d8de3f11ff65ca98577fcb1cf1…)

I hate how much I relate to this dumb bitch. I wish I wasn't this way. Someone needs to end me.

No. 536633

>>536624
There's replies in the app thankfully, but still. The principle really bothers me, I wish people wouldn't be so quick to abandon pets, especially for frivolous reasons. I just don't buy their excuse and I find it irksome, probably because my own mother pulled that shit on me as a kid too.

No. 536634

>>536542
You'll rise above this anon, we believe in you.

No. 536670

>>536625
>>536634
thanks comrades, I offer you a meme

No. 536671

File: 1586047005885.gif (464.73 KB, 500x281, tumblr_mkt5bsZWW21rcoly3o1_500…)

>meet a cute girl on bumble
>we're hitting it off well
>"i'm having a get together tonight, you should join us!"

bb please, there are stay at home orders in place

No. 536672

File: 1586047043709.jpeg (96.82 KB, 828x972, 8014824C-D430-4C43-885B-5B8298…)

>>536670
whoops dropped

No. 536673

>>536671
i didn't mean to use that gif but whatever we'll just go with it

No. 536686

I dropped out of college and work from home because I'm too ugly. Hopefully I'll have enough money to get the procedures I need done. I was supposed to get another consultation but it was cancelled due to the coronavirus.

No. 536689

>>536597

Thanks for your honest input anon. Yeah maybe my art is ugly and I may come off as desperate to make artfriends. But to be fair, I did try to make friends with less popular artists and non artists that are active in the fandom too but I just can't seem to connect to anyone. I even draw fanarts of their OCs and AUs but I guess maybe it's not enough?

I've never tried discord before though and not sure how to go about joining a fandom discord? From what I understand you have to be invited into one? Maybe I'll just be a lone weeb for now and just try my best to get good in art, maybe someday I'll make friends with the same interest.

No. 536693

This is gonna be stupid long, I apologize.
I have feelings for the most impossible person, and not even entirely sure what kind of feelings. Something complicated, annoying and unlike anything I've felt towards anyone else. We've known each other for 13 years, and been a lot of things during that time. Friends, FWB's, and sometimes not having any contact for long periods of time. Never anything serious or any commitments.
There's always been a connection, something deep down that I never feel with people. An attraction in ways I can't describe. Just the right wavelength, understanding, whatever the hell it is. It just feels… right. We can speak about anything, instantly get one another, jump right in after not seeing each other for ages. And from what we've talked I gather it's mutual.

But. This guy is fucking impossible. I've been ghosted, ignored and stood up by him more times than any other people counted together. If we make plans, the odds of it actually happening are less than 5%. If it was anyone else doing this, I would be out, immediately.
He's apologized and explained his behavior. And the thing is, I get it. At least on some level. I have similar issues with social contacts, except I try to be nice and not a total dick about it. I could also be the biggest idiot for buying these explanations. Maybe I'm just one of many he keeps hanging like this. But if that was the case, I can't see the reason why. I'd understand if there was something he wanted from me (sex) and would disappear after getting it, but that hasn't even happened in years. Only theory I can come up with is some kind of a powerplay and getting gratification from emotionally messing with people, but he's seemed genuinely sorry for this behavior.

There's been times when I've gotten legitimately pissed and we haven't spoken in months or even years. Every damn time I make myself swear this is it. It's over. I'm going to just forget this person.
And every single time it fails. Sooner or later the thoughts of him sneak back inside my head and I'm reminded of whatever moments we've shared that were something straight out of a movie scene, unlike anything I've ever experienced with anyone else. Hell, I've managed to work through and overcome serious, long-term relationships, but not him. No matter what I do, it just won't go away and I'm starting to think it never will.

I doubt I'd even be capable of a real relationship anymore so I'm not sure what I even want. Been through complete hell with relationships and also otherwise, and have now been alone without even attempting to date for a long time. Even the idea of letting anyone near me just freaks me out. Except for this person. I would have every reason to hate him but instead he's the only one I'd trust enough to let close.
And fuck, I don't usually even feel attracted to men. This person is the exception in everything.

He - more or less - knows how I feel. I've told him. Claims he feels similar stuff. But things are at an endless stalemate. Not going anywhere.

Truth is that despite all of this we don't really even know each other. There's a fair chance it wouldn't even work if we ever tried something more serious. Which is unlikely to happen.
After what I've been through, I'm fairly comfortable with the idea of just being alone. Just finding my own little retreat away from cities and people, and going full hermit for the rest of my days. But there's just this annoying, constantly gnawing thought in the back of my head, wondering what it would be like if I got to do that with him.

No. 536700

File: 1586052477735.jpg (28.17 KB, 540x482, bbdg4i43fpi31.jpg)

Tfw no bf but it's not like I would ever be able to have a healthy romantic relationship with another person anyway since I don't see me being that vulnerable and trusting with another person possible in any world. I'm so lonely but how can I ever do anything about it when I'm this mentally fucked? How the fuck is any man supposed to love my mentally ill ass?
Not to mention my crippling body image issues that make the mere thought of someone else touching my body or seeing me in any state of undress panic inducing. I just want to be held but also not exist.

No. 536701

>>536672
This smells of a self post.

On another note, my disordered eating has gotten out of control again and I can’t stop thinking about how badly I would like to be in a 00 instead of size 2 jeans.
Sigh.

No. 536702

>>536327
Go to therapy.

No. 536723

>>536689
You need an "invite", which is a link that lets you join. You can find a lot of invites just by googling the subject + discord or discord invite. There's even entire websites dedicated to sharing invites. It's not like you need connections on the "inside" to get in.

No. 536726

it's 5am, I just woke up from unexplainable tinittus in my ear oh my god I hope this doesn't last

No. 536730

Why can't I stop feeling like my life is boring?

I'm really sad that the coronavirus hit during my last year of university. I'm just sitting at home all day instead of partying and adventuring like I had been planning on.

I never drank until my last year of high school, so I was a late bloomer in that regard. In university I ended up partying a decent amount, but not that much. I never had that phase where I was going out multiple times a week, and now my hangovers are too bad to do something like that.

I've gotten to do a lot of things. I studied abroad and I've gone to multiple continents on my own. I went to music festivals on my own where I used/sold drugs. I'e tried most of the most common recreational drugs at least once (I'm missing ket, meth, and opioids, I guess). I've walked into strangers houses and I even smoked weed with a guy I didn't know. I've blacked out multiple times. Yet I have a nagging feeling I'm missing out on something? Is this a BPD symptom or what?

I guess after thinking about it, what bothers me is that I never got to be known as a "cool" party girl. Or maybe it's impostor syndrome.

No. 536747

>>536723

Oh! I didn't know that. Thanks for the info anon. I'll try my luck in making friends on discord then. Cheers!

No. 536749

fuck this quarantine i'm spending 10 hours online a day my brain feels like mush and i'm stuck at home and don't wanna try to stop it

i mean now that i notice it i will but who fucking knows it's going to be like this for months

No. 536752

My friend is playing new horizons, the first animal crossing he's ever played, and he just naturally gets dreamies. He just casually got Merengue and Raymond. It's kind of amazing actually, because he has no idea how people grind hundreds of resets just to get one of those characters…

No. 536753

>>536730
I used to hang out with 'cool party' girls in my first year at uni and it sucked tbh
They perfectly fitted the stereotype of having no brains and talking about stupid superficial shit
I'd rather not be around this type of ppl anymore

No. 536754

>>536730
Out of all the personas you can have, why the incredibly commonplace college wooo girl? Also, who do you wish to impress?

No. 536764

God i feel so shitty
The guy i am seeing doesn't seem to like me as much as I like him
( is my first time liking someone/ in a relationship at all )
I have always been told I am cold and distant emotionally, but I am really trying with him, i try to cell him to do things ( not in person right now since you know… social isolation and stuff )

Like, this month we will make 6 months seeing each other, and he didnt invite me to meet his father
( my parents are in another country so, i would be better to meet his first )

I try to make online activities with him like watching a movie in netflix party, but the times I tried it he said he couldn't because of uni activities
i am very understanding so I let go
but when his friends call him to play something he goes, even in calls
he never called me
I just feel so worthless, like I am not worth his time
ALL my first experiences are being with him, i feel vulnerable and not even loved

I have already told him i like him, and that i feel happy with him

he only complimented me ONE time, in 6 months, i just feel ugly and replaceable, like I am just here so he can use my body

No. 536775

I had an upcoming appointment with a mental health professional about my anxiety and depression and my family member that was supposed to take me just an hour ago told me that his job was making him work that day so I have to cancel now.

Which wouldn't be a problem but he apparently knew two weeks ago or so and he didn't bother to tell me till now. This is the same person who bitches that I NEVER TELL HIM THE INFO ON ANYTHING if I have a doctor's appointment or something; till last minute. Which is a complete lie but hey yanno; gotta bitch to be a bitch I guess?

my appointment was this coming week so idk why he chose to wait till nearly the last fucking minute.

No. 536778

>>536753
I like to talk about deep shit but most people I’ve met are not that reasoned. I would rather party than talk with faux intellectual people.

>>536754
I don’t want to be a college woo girl. I think I want to hang out with an edgier crowd. Like Kurt Cobain doing heroin in 90s Seattle crowd.

No. 536806

>>536778
Oh, cringe

No. 536812

>>536764
Maybe you are replacable to him, anon. Give it some time and 6 months isnt really a long time to know some one at all. He might be good for you, hard to say with so little time together.

No. 536819

>>536814
80s/90s youth culture is fun. I’m annoyed that nobody invited me into that scene. Most of my experiences with drugs I had to seek them out.

No. 536825

I hate being such a whore for male attention ugh, fuck you dad for leaving us before I was even born, you shithead.
I wish I didn't have such shit luck with men. Absent father plus csa is such a bad combo. Fml.
At least detoxing from social media is proving to be a good step.
Have a nice day, anons.

No. 536830

>>536775
That's awful anon, some people can be so selfish.
Call them and see if they can do a phone appointment?
I'm surprised they're doing an in person appointment with all this covid stuff

No. 536834

Anyone else's romance got fucked in the ass by the virus?
Some little cute romantic thing has formed between me and my friend right before the quarantine, now it's been weeks and the thing is dying. Or already dead, and I'm clinging on it, not sure. We tried to keep it alive but it was hard, feels like there was not enough foundation… It's officially dying and it is sad! I thought I'll finally get a bf, now by the time things are normal again, we might be barely on talking terms… eh

No. 536845

I've been stuck in lockdown with my boyfriend for 3 weeks now. I've only moved in 4 days before the lock down and I finally snapped
An hour ago went to bed angry and silently cried.
He fell asleep and now I'm depression posting in my office

Don't be like me anons.

No. 536873

>>536845
I don’t know anything about your relationship, but lockdown is hard on almost everyone. My bf and I have been living together since last September (with the occasional disagreement!) and it isn’t always easy, even if it’s going well overall. You can’t escape someone’s issues - and everyone has issues - when you live together, you kind of have to face them and decide to deal with them as best as you can.
Then if you take into account the background stressed/anxious/trapped/“purgatory” feeling of the crazy shit affecting everyone right now, it’s going to be even harder getting used to a big change in circumstance. Just ride out the storm, your bf should never be your enemy. All hope may not yet be lost anon.

No. 536887

File: 1586096385316.jpg (38.7 KB, 598x371, 8948c206245e245d1417aa479b2c2f…)

I'm so mentally drained guys I spent almost 3 hours designing this cool picture on an art app I have and I was literally just doing the finishing touches, like just adding one more thing and finalising shit that was gonna take one minute, when the app just shut down on me randomly and the picture didn't save and whyyyy does this always happen to me lmao. I get so close to doing something good, I actually take time and effort into making something that looks good and then a roadblock comes out of nowhere and just fucking wrecks it and I have to start all over again. It's a goddamn curse I really don't understand it. It's like nothing can go right for me, it's like the universe doesn't want me to succeed or something lol. I'm not even angry anymore I'm just so fucking exhausted and i kinda wanna throw myself off a cliff

No. 536888

>>536700
Aw, anon, I don't have much advice to offer but I feel the same. I've ruined so many relationships (romantic and not) because of my horrible mental state. I'm at the point where I can only last a few months in a romantic relationship before I start projecting and trying to find things wrong with the other person, when I know I really just hate myself.

I don't know if you feel all of that too, but our only hope is probably therapy. It definitely seems to be true that loving other people requires first loving yourself. Good luck, let's try our best to love ourselves

No. 536899

>>536845
I feel like quarantine is only going to speed up the demise of already destined to fail relationships. If you guys are strong you'll be okay, and if not.. well you saved yourself some time.

No. 536916

File: 1586102270612.gif (3.59 MB, 375x346, EWWUqVS.gif)

I'm getting so fat from quarantine. I love eating shitty snacks like chips and pizza rolls, but I was working a lot before and really only ate bad once a week. Now every day is an off day and I have no motivation to not be a fatass.

No. 536931

My mom ran out to the shops and I asked her to pick me up a USB cable since mine is slightly chewed on by a puppy. I told her the exact type to get and gave her my old cable to take with as reference. She ended up not getting the right cable which isn't the issue because it happens. But my oldest brother fucking just started yelling at me about how I should have told her the exact kind to get so it's my fault,how I'm a fucking idiot, etc etc. When I wasn't even being rude or mean to my mom about it, because she's older and doesn't really understand why there are different types of USB cables. I would have gone with to the shops with her but we have a newish puppy and she wanted me to stay home with him. All the screaming made me feel like shit though so I'm sitting in my room crying now because my brain is irrational.

No. 536935

My head set just broke for good and now I'm left with crappy old and mended with silver tape in 3 places earphones to use.
I need to buy a new one but the stores are closed and everything electronic is overpriced as fuck in my currency.Fuck.

No. 536947

>>536931
Just beat the shit out of your brother when he least expects it. Use a household object if you need to. Treat him like he’s a challenged idiot from now on. Manbabies are so annoying. Convince your mom to kick him out as soon as this virus stuff is over. Also, film him being crazy so you have a lot of evidence of his transgressions against you.

No. 536948

I made a guild in the mmo I play a month or so ago bc I was bored and lonely during lockdown and it blew up over that period (I guess because other people are quarantined???). It's gotten way bigger than I could've ever imagined and it's awesome but also super anxiety inducing because I'm scared people are going to cause drama or leave or tear shit apart. I know I need to appoint some other people to lead so it's not all on me but I hardly know most of them. I'm a terrible guild leader lol.

No. 536952

>>536947

I'm not going to go into a long-winded story here but none of that will work. It's been tried and you know what it does? Absolutely nothing. It's pointless. I need to move out tbh but can't due to mental problems and not being able to work because of them. It's hard to explain exactly why none of that would work because it involves a lot of talking about my past and just…nah.

No. 536957

>>536931
Hindsight is 20/20, but I would've started attacking his manhood and accused him of being a coward over not accompanying your mom to the store or going in her place. I know it's hard though anon, I'd rarely think of anything witty or any good defenses for myself whenever I'd argue in the moment with people who were abusive to me. Towards the end of living with my narc mother I went back into my teenage habits of screaming matches with her because I was sick of taking her shit and feeling genuinely bad about what she said. Meanwhile her narcissist self was guiltless and actually felt pleased in making me feel like shit. So I sought to hurt her as much as she was hurting me (in fact I wish I'd had gone farther back then), because then at least the playing fields were even. She deserved to feel as bad as she had made me feel for years. I moved out and I don't speak to her, she blames me for the failed relationship.

No. 537014

>>536947
Dont do this. More fights doesnt equal peace. Even people who have known each other all their lives still cant get along. Just stay quiet or live alone if you can

No. 537036

so I recently ended things with a Fwb and it was more so my fault things got bad and I just wanted a third opinion. so me and him met online and the long short of it is around last November is when we decided to see each other things were going pretty great because at the time we were interested in dating and the like. He ended up deciding he wasn't ready but was still open to the idea of us being romantic partners maybe when he is but wanted me to possibly move on.
We would go out on Saturdays like religiously and he would drive from miami to up north broward which is 30+ min drive to pick me up so we can hang out.

He would let me call him constantly and we were basically on the phone for hours he bought me my junji ito hoodie and other items over the course of things.
However we would fight on a constant basis were I'd get really emotional and itd set off his anxiety.

Emotional to the point where I would like cry or have a really bad tantrum and since he didnt want to see me upset he'd like capitulate and would go out his way to make me happy. When it came down to fights hes a bit more conservative so he'd either say something kind of shitty or the fights were about unclear boundaries when it came to the more sexual parts of our relationship. he was also on the keto diet and was losing weight and would walk 5+ miles every day in an effort to drop the weight and was health conscious however I ate like trash alot of the time to the point where my health would be affected. Weird aches and pains and heart palpitations.

One issue he had with the relationship was the constant fights and the fact that he didnt feel listened to he would constantly try and get me to consider my eating habits when I complained about these issues and while we both know it was diet related. I'd kind of passively go yeah ok or involuntarily tune him out. Also when it came to topics that he cared about I really didnt take the time to engage with them either because I didnt have enough knowledge or intrest and so alot of the time he felt like he was monologuing rather than genuinely engaging in conversation. Or that when it came to the more nsfw side of stuff me always procrastinating about getting birth control when he asked me to or him being uncomfortable with physical affection outside of sexual situations because to him it felt like I was trying to subconsciously convince myself we were in a relationship.

Or how he wanted me to try and persue other people because he didnt know if he could give me the relationship I wanted. But things really got ahead when it came to the eating thing it was march 13th I was wondering if I wanted to go to McDonald's or like taco bell or get pizza and he was getting really annoyed because I didnt want to choose a healthy option.

And while I was walking proceeded to lecture me on those things while I was walking to McDonalds. After getting out of McDonalds I remember going to sit down on the park bench and I remember telling him what I ate which was a mcchicken and him telling me how that was worse than a burger because the chicken was breaded and thats more calories and that he felt as though what he says goes in one ear out the otherAnd how I dont consider what he has to say like when we go out in general I'm usually the one to insist on what to do, in terms of sexual stuff I wouldn't consider his advice on birth control, and in terms of my health I wouldn't take his advice on what I should eat. while he was talking about that there was an old man who was asleep on the next bench.And he woke up he sounded like he was and pain the man's name was bill he was a 70+ yr old vet who had a bad leg who couldn't get up and was asking me to try and get home to a nursing home.Bill wanted to use my phone to try to call someone but Fwb said dont let him use it so I lied and said I had no service while that was going on some other person came into the park and was asking why I didnt help but it was because I didnt know what to do.So fwb was telling me to ask if bill was drunk but because I already lied and it was just a confusing situation I didnt keep in mind Fwbs words and that made him mad. After that whole situation while I was walking away Fwb proceeded to rant to me about how this what I mean when I say everything goes in one ear and out the other I was trying to tell you over and over to ask if he was drunk.And that when something like that happens ur supposed to call the cops. And I just kept saying idk what to do I'm sorry I'm sorry and he was like yeah I was trying to tell you but you wouldn't listen to me and that you never listen to me because fuck friendship am I right.And then I was walking to the store and he was still irritated and we were still talking Idk remember everything we said but he was like you know if I'm no use to you as a friend then why am I around. Or you know if you cant even listen to my advice as a friend what about if theres an issue in the relationship then what.

Again I dont remember everything but i remember the last part of the conversation where he was like oh even then theres the fact that you have below a 2 0 gpa and he was recounting the time that I got kicked out of the class I passed last yr cause of an attendance issue.So then I texted him "you know sometimes u feel more like a parent then a friend like your not my dad"The he text "fine I'm not your friend then either"So then I panicked and not only texted him on a bunch of different platforms But called him 70+ times until his phone almost started fucking up.And so since he didnt answer his phone the following day I decide to uber to his house And try to talk to him there because I had my own things to say. Like for example the fast food thing I remember saying oh fast food is cheaper or tends to be cheaper and he was like oh no it's not you can buy a bag of rice at the store for 5+ dollars that's like a whole meal at a restaurant and that can be a side for different meals and how fast food ends up costing you more and that it's made in an unhealthy manner. Or the class thing Where I brought up how it felt weird justifying why i was late to class i passed like a semester ago to a friend And he was saying theres no justification for it you shouldn't have put yourself in that situation to begin with yeah theirs being late ounce because of traffic but like other times you were just late. But I was saying how I ended up solving the issue because I got back in i wasn't late anymore and I passed. And he was like yeah but your still lying to me because ur late to this class your taking now all the time. And I was saying in that specific situation I solved the issue and he said that dosent matter and that if you know you have a class why not wake up on time and try to get there. And how that and staying up late shows a lack of maturity on my part and I was saying how also alot of the advice he was giving was starting to sound more like demands than anything else and he was like will that's what happens when people care about you and how you shouldn't be a burden on people and people shouldn't be attracted by your success than trying to make up for your failures and how for example it's not the husband's job to wake up his wife to go to work it's his job to remember special events like anniversaries and such. And how hes just tired of constantly giving chances and how he dosent benefit at all from our friendship and how hes putting in everything and that the least I can do is listen to him. Tldr he ended up giving me another chance and we hung out for a bit. then a couple days later I was complaining about wanting taco bell. And he was telling me i should eat something healthy instead and I was like I just want taco bell and he was saying how I had a basic bitch mentality and just wanted because I want it without truly looking into anything and explaining why doctors suggested not eating fastfood on a constant basis while trying to get me to consider healthy alternatives for meals I can make.But then ended up giving me an ultimatum which I remember
It being u either try and get this under control or I'm never talking to you again because self destruction isnt interesting to me and then I got pissy at him.so a few days after that. We were talking about Nancy Pelosi and then it turned to critsims of me after I asked what he had of me. To cut to the chase I remember him saying yeah but that what the ultamatihm was either you genuinely consider my advice or I'm not going to be your friend anymore and I was like I thought you wanted me to eat less fastfood and he was like no that's not what I said and then I said then why have I been eating all these salads for ??And he wasn't happy essentially was going on about how the goal wasn't for you to appease me I genuinely wanted for you to listen to and reflect on my advice and how its not like any of my advice would hurt you like you can try it out for like a week and then if you don't like it go back to how you use to eat. You know friendship is a commitment that's about growth and change and I feel like I'm feeding a plant that wont grow and how I feel theirs no emotional growth and like if you wont even consider my advice as a friend what if theres a relationship problem And how i just wanted to appease him just to shut him up and rap him around my finger you treat me like a teddy bear use me when you need me and the just put me away you'll sow me when the fillings running out but Oh u dont want to lose the teddy bear and that instead your building a glass wall were u can see me but cant hear me scream or u know how a kid will tell an adult to eat their veggies Or else no video games so they eat all of it that essentially your doing to me. Whenever I would try and say anything he would tell me to think and make sure it's the truth and not just an excuse because he felt like me eating healthy because he told me to was me essentially lying to him. And so I bought up the fact that I eat alot of fast food cause it's hard to decide what to cook and then he was like their are plenty of online stuff you can do and you know I'll have more respect for you and youd have more respect for yourself if you just learned how to cook. And then i was saying what if I dont want to what if fastfood is just convenient for me and good and he said well your essentially a child stuck in an adult skin suit and that's not fun but I cant do anything about it. And so I remember going home and him saying see this why we cant date because not only are we incompatible but also this this and that and I never mentioned daing but he knows i had feelings. For him so I remember getting angry and going "wow I never mentioned it but thanks wow thanks".

And when I asked him why he thought i was angry " and he was like it's because you want me to say that everything's ok and that I'm still an option but I'm not an option" and was saying how I never even brought up us dating in the first place and that you only brought it up just to get me angry and he was like "no I just know that the end goal of this is for you is for us to be in a relationship but I want you to get through your head that's not what's gonna happen." And I kept telling him that he did know me and thats not what I want and he was like "ok yeah sure it's not like you barged into my house in a crazy ex gf like fashion when you weren't invited." Then I ended up freaking out and started crying and yelling like what do you want me to do with these feelings then because I'm not asking for you to date me I'm just trying to figure out how I can be your friend. He then proceed to hang up the phone saying how when I'm over whatever emotional shit then we can have an adult conversation because I'm not listening to the crying or screaming and that had more important shit to do.
And after that I took like a day to self reflect and said how we can end the sexual angle of our relationship and that I dont know if I want to consider a new diet.and that I'm going to see a Cognitive behavioral therapist to control my more emotional side. I tried to change my mind on ending the sexual stuff by saying that I wont be affectionate outside of sexual situations and he was saying how but that was our plan from the beginning and that if you decide on that and you break that promise I'm ending things with you.because you promised youd get your feelings for me under control but you didnt and that this is the 7th chance I've given you and you kept lying to me.
Tldr my mom overheard parts of the conversation even when I was starting to get whiny and like thought he was manipulative even though I tried explaining that I was the one causing issues.
I don't want to go into every little event so I'll just skip ahead to current day. There have been times where I would spam call him because I was paranoid because I thought he would change his mind and take back giving me a chance and I tried texting him and calling him alot even though he said my overbearingness is an issue I need to work on. We ended up getting into an argument over text about trans people and I tried to talk to him about it the next day in which he told me that at this point we were in between acquaintances and friends. And then over discord we ended things.

No. 537052

>>536752
I knew you posted here, Ley. Always got the vibe from ya

No. 537080

I just finished this horror movie on Netflix called "The Platform" and at first it started really, really good and it felt like one of the few horror movies where I really cannot predict the ending and what will happen, but then it just.. somehow got really bad? I had my expectations high but then after the end I was just so fucking confused and even read those articles and watched a few videos that explain the ending of movies. Still have no fucking idea what that kid was supposed to do. Or what happened to Gureng. I absolutely hate open endings too, if I knew that it had one then I would've never watched it. Fml.

No. 537085

I don't even have bad cramps but hate menstruating with all my heart

No. 537086

>>537052
This exchange is so cute oh my god

No. 537096


No. 537100

>>537080
it was pretty bad. SPOILERS; Basically they sent the kid upstairs so the people cooking the meals could see that there was a kid inside (apparently kids were not allowed to be in that jail), hence why she was "the message". But like, why was she there in the first place? 5/10 because of the original concept.


Unrelated but venting,

its not the first time that my boyfriend makes comments about how girls that are 16-17 are mature enough to be with someone twice their age. It disgusts me a bit, and we had a fight about it. I'm afraid I am exaggerating? Is it really worth it to fight about it? He says they are already basically adults, and I… I just can't think of anything else but grooming?

No. 537111

File: 1586124354275.jpeg (28.81 KB, 512x454, 3D790946-320D-402C-9631-746DBC…)

>>537100
You’re not overreacting at all and personally I would have broken up with him or told him off long ago. Sorry but your boyfriend is gross and depending on how old you guys are, very fucking concerning. 16 and 17 are NOT adults, they don’t even act like mature.

No. 537115

>>537100
so your boyfriend is okay with 16 year olds dating 30+ year olds? That is SUPER gross and you are not overreacting at all

No. 537118

>>537100
a 16-17 year old is definitely NOT an adult. hello? has he seen how kids those age act? they behave immaturely like they are still 15 and they should not date anyone older than them, god forbid twice their fucking age and especially someone who will take advantage of their vulnerability and naivety and turn the kid into some possible trauma having rape victim candidate in the future.

your boyfriend is genuinely disgusting and this conversation pretty much tells you what kind of person he really is. he'd probably date someone around that age 100% if he's so prone to defending his "views".

No. 537119

I am beyond fucking tired of people having just learned of the word simp and constantly misusing it. I s2g I'm going to choke out the next person I hear saying it

No. 537122

>>537119
simp
i just wanna be choked by a girl please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please

No. 537123

>>537122
I'll choke the hell out of you thirst-chan

No. 537124

>>537100
The bad news is, your bf wants to fuck young teens and feels fully within his rights to do so. The worse news is that most men are exactly the same, so you'd be lucky to find someone who feels differently.

No. 537125

File: 1586125506308.gif (1.77 MB, 200x200, thakn you.gif)

>>537123
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

No. 537129

My brother calls me fat every day and my parents don't care at all. The only time they told him to stop was when it was my birthday and I started crying. Usually I just go along with it or try to ignore it, because if I were to speak out, my father would get angry at him and my mother always get's really distressed when the two of them fight. The worst part is, that when he started calling me fat I was still slim, but over the years I really got fat, so now he's actually right and I don't have any grounds to defend myself.

When we were kids I went to a higher school than him and my parents always made sure that I would never boast about my education to him or anyone, but now he thinks that his major is much more difficult and prestigious than mine, he totally thinks of me as beneath him. Also always complains about feminazis. I'm really struggling in university so him calling what I do "child's play"… And again the only time my mom steps in is when I'm starting to cry.

My brother is my mother's darling boy, he says he's the middle child and that he's always treated the worst, but both our younger sister and I say that he's definitely our her favourite. I had an ed as a teen and a while ago my little sis also had a phase in which she at very little, yet my mom doesn't care, she's only worried about my brother skipping meals.
He's very easily pissed, so we and especially my mom do everything to try and keep him happy. I'm the "good" child, who rarely ever complains, and therefore they also don't really need to treat me as nicely.

On top of that I also know that my brother at best feels indifferent about me and at worst really dislikes me. But I still love him so much, I always feel sorry whenever him and my dad fight. We had such a nice childhood and we always played so well together, but now he only sees me as an embarrassment. I wish we could go back to how we were as kids. My parents always had to buy him the same clothes as mine (just in a size smaller) because he admired me so much. I really always treated him very well, so there's no actual reason for him to dislike me. He also clearly dislikes my sister, but it's always been like that with her, but not with us.

No. 537131

i'm a freelance writer and my editor is making me edit this one piece over and over again. he is asking for a fifth edit. i don't understand. this doesn't seem normal. i'm fine with it, but at this time, i'm so fucking stressed i can't focus on it anymore. if he asks me to edit it a SIXTH time i'm just going to tell him he can take it or leave it. it's a niche subject that took hours and hours of research, and the edits he's asking for are FINE they're just… why so fucking many? there are also huge gaps in communication (even before the pandemic) where i expect to get an email finally saying "look, we're not taking this piece, it's just not for us". i feel super strung along and foolish, but i'm going to put my foot down next time. the pandemic has RUINED my life in a lot of ways and i'm way too fucking busy to edit grammar that wasn't wrong in the first place but not the right tone for their publication. i just feel super annoyed, i mean, i get it, if i was an editor, i'd be a jackass too and punish writers for existing, but AT THIS TIME i cannot take it. i mean, i'm doing it. i'll suck it up. i'm just really fucking annoyed right now. "six edits" to me says "we don't particularly like this article, but we don't have enough content right now"… idk, i want to screech into oblivion

No. 537132

>>537129
when my brother chimps out, i beat him like a dog. maybe you should too.

No. 537133

>>537132
How? Are you amazonian or is he punny manlet?
>>537129
Can you gray rock his bitch ass? Your brother changed into an incel and doesn't even deserve your love anymore.

No. 537140

My mum is sick rn, showing symptoms of COVID (cough and a fever). She's a nurse, and mostly cares for the elderly but some of them have been ill (not confirmed COVID). I was also sick last week (cold, runny nose, headache but no cough or fever afaik). I'm fine now, but I'm scared she's got the disease. She's been feeling okay, but I'm not reassured as people've said you can feel fine and then decline after like 10 days. She's in her late 50's, so I'm fucking spooked. We've been through so much, idk what I'll do if this takes her from me. I've got anxiety, so all this stress has been fucking me up but I've been trying to keep calm while looking after her bc I don't want her to panic. If she hears that our PM has been hospitalised, ik she will worry. She's always on her phone/Whatsapp so she'll likely find out tomorrow.

Shit's fucked because it's like this could just be a nasty cold, but because the virus is so insidious, you just can't tell. Thank fuck for Animal Crossing, it's kept me sane.

No. 537142

This guys have all the fucking time in the world to go play with his friends but NEVER has 1hr to watch a movie with me

I am only asking 1 fucking movie, in the fucking weekend when I KNOW he doesnt have SHIT to do

i am so fucking angry

No. 537143

i get kind of depressed seeing super deformed/diseased people still being able to find love and have kids and lead a fulfilling life like… i'm happy for them, but it also makes me wonder what the fuck is wrong with me when i'm young, have a great career, decent social life, in shape and fairly good-looking yet i haven't had a long-term relationship ever.

No. 537144

>>537142
He'd make time for you if he was interested anon.

I spent 3 years with a guy who didn't want to spend time with me and now I can't believe how pathetic I was, always trying to cajole him into it. You can't argue someone into wanting you, you just need to accept that they don't and move on.

No. 537145

>>537142
>>537144
this

men who are interested LET YOU KNOW. if you chase them down there's an uneven dynamic. don't fall for this trap. men are programmed to pursue, not be pursued.

No. 537147

>>537145
Men are WYSIWYG. I hate to say it, but women assume men play games and use subtlety and hints in the same way that they do (I speak as a girl who had to learn this the hard way).

If a girl acts like you don't exist, well, it's anybody's guess how the hell she really feels about you. But if a guy does the same thing, safe to assume he really does not give two shits.

No. 537149

File: 1586130037936.gif (247.64 KB, 220x165, tenor.gif)

>mfw All this shit about people not only charging a ridiculous amount of bells but also real money for villagers and Nook miles tickets
>All this drama with time traveling and ugly villagers

I REALLY need to get off twitter. Did it ever get this bad with New Leaf?

No. 537150

I hate that my brother's fiancee is living with us for covid19, shes so annoying and just enables my brothers bad habits and attitude. I'd feel bad that shes going to end up with shitty husband but its her fault for being a "red-pilled" pickme

No. 537153

>>537129
>so now he's actually right and I don't have any grounds to defend myself
Even if you're fat you still have ground to defend yourself on the basis that your his sister and he ought to care if something he's doing is putting you down. How has him calling you fat over the years helped you? Oh it hasn't, it's only fueled your self loathing and confirmation that you deserve less than a baseline of respect.

Your mom's spoilage has really done a number on him. I honestly think he's been so spoiled that he's too far gone to reason with because he's been taught to get his way and everyone else are just NPCs he can mess with in his games.
I'd personally find the nearest shoe and threaten him with it or break something of his, but you've gotta do something every time he does it to send the message that it shall not pass. If his teasing becomes too much effort for what it's worth then he may stop. But you gotta give him hell back anon, up to this point he's been enabled and thinks he can walk all over you because you've tried to be decent and a good sport. Let him know the party is over!

No. 537156

>>537149
I can't believe there's people out there who are actually bitching about time travelling. I'm not even kidding, but it sounds like people who have an issue with this have some MAJOR personal problems and control issues. I mean really, who tf cares. Also tting has always been in the game lmfao

No. 537163

I don't know why but for some reason I am absolutely shit at just dance, my mom can beat me and my brother, who has no rhythm can beat me, I dunno if I'm holding the controller wrong or what but it makes me want to not play every time and that makes my mom sad. I'm good at dancing in real life, I'm doing all the moves, what do you want with me Just dance???

No. 537173

i wish more of my girl friends played games so we could play together especially with corona and all

No. 537193

>>537163
I’m sorry anon but this made me kek, thanks for the smile and I hope your moves improve

No. 537217

>>537149
right?? like it seems so anti the game's spirit. i have seen people asking like millions of bells to enter an island w good turnip prices, like what the actual fuck. thank fuck haven't seen any real money examples, would be rolling in my grave for days. I have no issue w tting bc it has always been in the game and you still have to grind but these weird financial pyramids are just so icky idk.

No. 537235

>>535754

Anyone else have a mom who has never said she loves you? And when you've mentioned feeling disconnected/uncared throughout your childhood/teen years you're made fun of or dismissed rather than apologized to. Whenever I mention it to people they tell me it's because of the culture I come from, (Girls are worthless and emotions in general are not expressed) yet they have parents that tell them they love them on the daily. I'm in my mid 20's and I'm still bitter about this type of shit.

No. 537241

>>537235
Yes! I think our emotional disconnect has caused me a lot of issues mentally (mommy issues? Lol) I’m still bitter about how my friends seemed to get respect and encouragement from their parents and all I got was someone yelling at about how I should be better. It did get better when I got out… But I’m still afraid I’m going to be like she is if I get kids.

No. 537243

i fucking hate all of my political science classes. how can you even call that science. i really regret majoring in a social science lmao can't think of a more useless degree or field of study

No. 537245

My boyfriend rarely lets me initiate sex. We have sex pretty often and it's nice, but if I start to pest him in the same ways he pests me, he gets pissy and doesn't want to.
I don't really need advice I think, I just need to anonymously get this off my shoulders. I don't talk to anyone about sexual stuff outside of my relationship but holy fuckkk it pisses me right off!
I wish I could throw dishes down a hallway or throw rotten fruit off a balcony to exercise this frustration.

No. 537246

>>537243
I studied IR so I kinda get how you feel. I have to say that I took a political "methods" class (I forgot the exact name lol) where we had to design our own research project and use data. It was actually challenging and some of the projects we studied were interesting, not bullshit. But yeah, I definitely feel like my degree is pretty useless. rip

No. 537251

>>537245
Does he apply this weird 'one rule for him and a totally different rule for you' bullshit in other areas of the relationship?

No. 537255

>>537251
No, thankfully. He's generally pretty easy to get along with. I've brought it up a few times and he says he'll pay attention more to being fair yadda yadda. It never sticks. Maybe it's an ego thing? I'm not entirely sure but it's certainly annoying

No. 537259

>>537255
It's a pretty big part of a relationship so inequality like that is enough to slowly kill any relationship. Your frustration is understandable. Reminds me of r/deadbedroom where it nearly always starts with one partner insisting that only they can initiate the sex..all downhill from there.

No. 537260

>>537259
That's shitty news, I really like him and he's incredibly safe and gentle if that makes sense. Raised very well by parents that obviously showed affection and spent a lot of time with him, so he's really polite and helpful in a lot of regards. That's cruddy as fuck

No. 537262

>>537260
I know you say he's raised well and all that but he isn't allowing you equal power or caring enough about your needs. It's selfish and controlling behavior.

The only people I know with good reason to be so unwilling to 'let' a partner initiate are women who've been raped and who (temporarily) need to feel control that way. What's his excuse?

No. 537265

>>537262
Oh fuck, that would make sense. He was raped about 4.5 years ago. Wow, now I feel like an asshole. Thank you for talking me through this and shedding light on a new perspective

No. 537271

I just realised that I haven't felt a real emotion in the longest time. Every interaction I have is completely fake. Haven't had a real connection or friendship in I don't even know how long. I can't stand to even be around my family. I get so irritable and angry when their just doing normal things around the house. I don't miss anyone anymore. I feel like such a piece of shit. This is really just how it be. Just going through my awkward, mediocre life alone obsessing over my appearance.

No. 537273

>>537265
Did you really not piece that together or are you role-playing this like a story?

No. 537275

Quarantine has increased the amount of bullshit stories being told on here, I used to bs just a little out of boredom but not about shit like fucking cancer

No. 537276

>>537265
He was raped, lol

No. 537277

>>537271
I've created a stupidly isolated life for myself cos same, interactions feel fake or forced. Live alone and I don't feel any more lonely now than I did with family around.

No. 537285

Something I noticed for a while now is any girl with bright blue hair always seems to be some special gender tumblrina. This is relevant to the vent.

My friend is a bit younger, some 20 year old, straight, white, from the south originally. So she has a new friend. Right away I notice this girl has that iconic blue hair. Surely not EVERY girl with blue hair who wears flannel is a special snowflake. Maybe she likes blue? Nope. Right away
"Hai, my name is _____ and I'm agender, but prefer to be he"
Triggered cuz, other than the flannel, she's wearing a black tank top with her breasts out in shorts and stripped stockings. I hate confrontation so I leave it be.

A couple of months later my friend is all of a sudden trans and this chick convinced them to shave her head. Not even a boyish cut, just head shaved and now they are a "they, them." Well… maybe I could… still be her friend?

It's really hard because she says she hasn't changed but this whole gender identity has fully consumed her personality. She seems to mold her personality completely to this blue hair chicks whim. She doesn't even have the same interests anymore. Everything that was likable about her is just gone.

Naturally, I just started to distance myself from her. This isn't my first run in with blue haired chicks.
Has anyone else seen them before? Or am I just specifically cursed?

No. 537300

Guess who's freshly off an Ambien's 3 weeks binge because a dumbass GP thought it was a good idea to give me 3 prescriptions at the start of a quarantine?
I fucking hate myself. Thank god I dug out an old zyprexa velotab box. I'm going to knock myself before the withdrawals set in.

No. 537302

>>537285
I think you might be cursed, my friend has blue hair and she is a cool, chill person. I used to have blue hair in the past and I consider myself pretty normal too :D

No. 537303

>>537286
Pic or didn't happen

No. 537305

>>537285
Eh normies have colored hair too nowadays. It has to be pink/blue AND also a fugly shave.

No. 537308

File: 1586173009297.jpg (44.71 KB, 600x752, 298.jpg)

>>537302
Blue haired reporting in, I'm semi-normie.
>>537305
Yeah you got to have this haircut.

No. 537311

>>537286
Was filthy frank ever really an anti sjw? I only discovered him in the last year or so but alot of his songs and vids hint that he wasn't

No. 537312

>>537311
no he was satirical. he used to live in cambridge near my friend and we hung out a few times before he moved to NY permanently, but my friend's unironic anti-sjw bf got pissed off at him for being fake as fuck. it was hilarious. his pink guy soundclout rapping was fire though, i wish he'd done that style of music with real lyrics instead of the new sadboi shit.

No. 537336

>>537286
Are you me bitch. Same year, same phase, blue long hair.

No. 537338

Every time I make some food for myself (usually breads or something), NO ONE in my family wants to eat it. It doesn’t even taste bad, it’s just no one wants to eat it. But of course the one time I make crepe batter and leave it overnight to rest, I wake up and the batter is fucking gone and there’s some ramekins in the sink and I think they used it to make chocolate cake. Really?

It’s such a minuscule thing and the batter is easy to make, I’m just a little peeved because of all things my family finally decides to touch that is mine in the fridge, it’s of course the fucking RAW BATTER that I was patiently letting rest and looking forward to making in the morning. I didn’t bother labelling DO NOT TOUCH because I didn’t think THIS would be the food thing of mine that they would fucking decide to use up of all things. Nope, literally never touch any of the other fully done desserts that I make or anything, just the raw batter.

No. 537351

>>537285
I can see this being the thing today. When I was a scene kid, it definitely wasn't like that. All the chicks with different colored hair just wanted to go to concerts, fuck around, and smoke weed. It sure as hell wasn't accepted yet so it meant you were for sure rebellious lol

No. 537355

>>537285
>>537286
>>537302
>>537308
I have blue hair and am definitely far more on the "problematic edgelord" spectrum than the SJW Tumblrina spectrum. Really upsets me how having blue hair is now a genderspecial SJW libfem stereotype.

>>537351
This. When I was in high school, blue hair was associated with cunty scene girls.

No. 537358

>>537355
You're literally not any better.

No. 537363

>>537285
Alternative fashion has kind of been overrun with genderspecials lately.
There's still lots of tolerable human beings that like those kinds of aesthetics, though.
They're just slightly fewer and farther between (and probably older).

No. 537374

>>537338
Same thing happens to me anon. Sometimes I wonder if they're not drawn to the things I need, as if my need for the thing makes it extra delicious for them knowing it will be gone. The person who does this to me is also the kind of sadist who leaves a few broken chips left in the bag instead of eating them or throwing away the bag, so the next person thinks there will be something left but there isn't. Like bitch you know there aren't chips in that bag anymore hence why you abandoned it, but don't let someone else find that out throw it out!

No. 537375

>>537338
i feel you. i will spend hours slow cooking something for no one else but me to eat it for days, but the minute i want to make something that needs to set that i make special for me, its gone before i get a chance to enjoy it. its aggravating

No. 537381

I'm an 18 year old college student. I have a ton of work to do daily on top of studying which is now a lot harder to manage and focus on now that it's online. I don't really have a problem devoting 90% of my time to school work but the problem comes with the fact that I have a three year old brother that I have to take care of.

I feed him, watch after him, give him attention, and put him to sleep every single day. My mother refuses to feed him, hits him, is constantly screaming and cursing at him, is always drinking or passed out drunk, etc. Right now she's going through a breakup with one of her temporary boyfriends as always, crying on the phone and snapping at my brother to the point of tears whenever he wants to get her attention. I'm so sick of it. If I didn't have the most bullshit classes with an unfair amount of work to do I'd be fine caring for my brother all day every day. I might even like it because I love him so much and really do care for him. But fuck I can't stand the fact that my mother can't fucking parent a single child. She's had three other children including me and not one of us are mentally/emotionally well and are dealing with deep-rooted issues from our childhoods. I get so frustrated that I have to be the one to care for my brother, not because I dislike doing so, but my mother's incompetence and selfishness is so frustrating. This isn't my child. I didn't choose to give birth to him, to bring him into this household. She puts the burden on me and although I understand being a single mom is difficult and I'm fine with taking care of him from time to time, she doesn't take care of him EVER. Not a SINGLE day in the week can I just focus on myself or my work. It's been like this since he was 2.

I really hope this doesn't come across as whiny or entitled. I'm just stressed I guess.

No. 537384

i do so many things for the people i love the most (namely friends and bf), only requiring the bare minimum back, and secretly hoping i'll get the same thoughtful kindness back one day…
it really gets me when i don't even get the bare minimum back. i try to better myself and do my best so that things go smoothly for other people when we plan to see each other, but it seems that that doesn't cross anyone's mind.
oops, made her waste her time again. let her down again. too bad for her, eh.

No. 537386

>>537381
this seems like an extremely difficult situation to be in.
have you considered moving out and calling child services? this situation is dangerous for the both of you; you risk burnout (which is much worse than simply being tired, your body and mind could break) and your brother risks death. it's easier said than done but it seems like the only option.

No. 537387

Woo, here we go.

I fell in love with a guy online during the time of coronavirus. It seems so absurd and impossible, and I'm a grown ass rational woman, but it's absolute magic how much we complement each other and awaken the art in one another.

We were supposed to fly across continents to see each other in May, but that's obviously not going to happen.

So I'm just sitting here, longing, yearning, and horribly alone in isolation. It's driving me a bit mad!

No. 537391

>>537381
call DHS asap.

No. 537400

Fuck, how do anons who's parents/grandparents/elderly family do it? My mum's work has a patient who has covid and i'm so worried for her. She's a nurse at a residence, but she's sick and has a few issues. I'm gonna puke.

No. 537407

I found a guy on discord that lived nearby and I really got along with. Had good conversations with him.

But he ended up doing something very cowardly and I have lost all respect. Blows.

No. 537408

>>537387
Try to be realistic about the fact he is likely to be very different in person than online, don't drum up the longing uwu too much or you might be in for a disappointment. The most perfect-seeming people often only seem so because they are intentionally mirroring your own self.

No. 537409

>>537407
what did he do anon?

No. 537412

Damn, my mother had to take her dog to the vet today, he's old so he accidentally peed on himself. My mother held him (while he was still wet at that) in her arms for quite some time, came back home and doesn't even want to take a quick shower.
I told her to take a shower and she just started to yell at me
Unless she needs to meet someone, she barely even showers once a week, and we live in a tropical country so that's really bad. I usually don't bother her with it because it's her life, but now this is too much
Why does she fucking hates to shower so much
She's so nasty

No. 537414

>>537409
He got called out for talking mad shit on someone and tried taking it back so he wouldn't get banned. Didn't work.

Cucking over internet shit is embarrassing.

No. 537418

>>537412
maybe it's some kind of mental issue? my uncle has mental issues and he's just called difficult and weird because poor people in tropical countries don't get brain fuckery or something. i know people with depression, autism or sensory issues hate showers because of the feeling or because it seems to exhausting/not worth it to the depressed mind.

No. 537419

>>537386
Originally I didn't get a job because of how draining taking care of my brother and schoolwork was so I don't have money to move out especially not where I live since apartments are ridiculously expensive, and I don't really know what'll happen if I call child services (I'm really naive about this stuff, sorry if I sound dumb). I don't want him to get taken away of course. I dropped a class to make things a little more manageable for me and my brother and the semester is almost over so I think I'll be okay. Thanks anyway.

No. 537421

>>537384
If you're so unsatisfied with your friends and bf why don't you get some self respect and start looking for better people to be around? I'm curious.

No. 537423

>>537421
i feel like i'm dramatizing. i have standards for how people treat me so everyone around me clearly cares for me, loves me and never puts me down. however, when i'm let down, i just get years of pent up shit coming back to convince me i'm just not worth anything good. it's the definition of spiraling lol.
though regarding the bf, he's soooo sweet, caring and loving but i wish i could have my own "wow i can't believe he did all that for me!" moment soon.

No. 537424

>>537418
that makes sense but they should take a bath or sponge bath/spot clean ffs. it's not like showers are the only possible way to bathe

No. 537426

>>537418
Eh, at least as far as I know she doesn't really have any mental issue. When I asked her about it on other occasions, she just laughed it off and said she's "allergic to water" (she meant it as a joke though)

No. 537427

>>537424
definitely. poor mental health explains the issue but doesn't excuse it.

No. 537444

>>537381
>>537419
I understand your feeling nervous about calling protective services, truth be told I don't really know what will happen either if you do. I'd say give it a try, but I'm not so sure a scare like that would change your mom. If after four kids she still doesn't want to step up, then it's never going to happen.
I wanted to say I'm sorry for your troubles, because I know you're stuck in a hard place by either caving to your lazy mom, or letting your brother go neglected so as to not enable her. But would she even care if your brother went hungry for days, or was filthy? Would she notice if he went missing for a long period of time?
You're right that it's not your job to care for him, it's wrong. I don't blame you for your feelings or think they're whiny and entitled. They're natural in response to this messed up situation.

No. 537470

>>537423
I think it's understandable to want people to go above and beyond for you. I've had friends and exes that were nice but nothing special, so I just cut them out. I'd rather be alone than be disappointed constantly. I give a lot in friendship and relationships so I want people who understand me and do the same for me

No. 537489

I don't like anyone. I don't want to talk to anyone - friendship is a meme. What's the point in keeping people around if they have flaws?

No. 537505

File: 1586206880024.jpg (214.65 KB, 1251x1500, 1585929315234.jpg)

>>537265
>He was raped
>He doesn't want me to initiate sex and I don't know why
Anon, are you being serious right now? Stevie Wonder would see the connection here.

No. 537515

File: 1586207677125.jpg (450.14 KB, 1440x882, 20200406_145648.jpg)

Idk if its even possible for most women to get a man in my league of attractiveness. I never see men saying girls so much uglier.

I'm a 6 in looks but it seems like I'll never be able to be a committed relationship unless I start going for people lower than 2/10 and really old men. So I'm stuck alone.

No. 537521

>>537505
Yeah I'm a fucking idiot, it honestly took an anon bringing up basic psychology for me to smack myself in the head. Your analogy made me laugh, though. I'm gonna bake him something nice and never bring it up again.

On that note though, things have been shockingly better since my post. Almost like it magically turned everything around or something.

Thank you guys for talking me through this and being funny about it all. I can't believe how oblivious I was, and ignorant for thinking it wouldn't still affect him.

No. 537524

>>537515
Same energy here anon, but I've come to enjoy my own company. At the very least I sleep at night knowing that I'm not wasting energy on a person so below my league even other people said it, and at least there's always that 0.01% possibility that I'll be single for when a decent looking guy actually comes along instead of stuck with some goofus like marked territory.

No. 537528

>>537515

all my ex bfs have been ugly af. i feel like the only solultion is not dating men

No. 537545

File: 1586209765145.jpg (37.99 KB, 750x729, caeb28895b9655399d47d05173da30…)

I want some dick but I can't do casual hookups because I'll only do it with someone if I'm in love with them.

I don't have sex, I make love.

No. 537562

>>535754
Anyone know how to get over envy of overachievers?
This is really pathetic, I knew this girl in school and we didn't even talk but now she's set the bar for my entire life seemingly. Got incredible grades the full 7 years we were there to the point she was rumoured about, excelled in academics, art, music, sports and dance, pretty, great personality, popular online and offline, now goes to one of the best universities in the world. My current position isn't that bad, I have special skills in art and languages that I've worked hard to obtain, but I can't stop comparing myself to her. I wish I had done less dumb stuff throughout school and proved myself academically, not quit musical instruments, etc.
I don't even feel like I'm doing anything out of passion anymore, just adding new skills to a laundry list so they'll stack up against the precedent she set.

No. 537586

File: 1586213818181.jpg (32.46 KB, 230x210, 1584677695689.jpg)

This guy I've been pretty good friends with for the past five years sent me this really gross femdom type fantasy out of nowhere and asked me if I would be into it. We used to hook up a few years back but once we both got into semi serious relationships, we quit and just stayed good friends. Anyways, I flipped out on him over text saying that it basically wasnt appropriate and I thought the whole thing was gross. He never responded and when I tried to text him yesterday to see if he wanted to try and talk it out he left me on read. I'm actually really depressed about it. This guy was one of my best friends and now it looks like our relationship wont be salvageable at all. Should I just block him and end it now? Why are men like this?

No. 537588

>>537586
yeah that sounds spontaneous but you guys used to fuck? it's not surprising at all

No. 537590

>>537586
Anon, he's not your friend. Whatever 'friendship' you feel you built with him I guarantee he was only using to manipulate your feelings and gain your trust. I'm sure he doesn't call you his "best friend." He's some dude who hits you up when he wants some sexual attention with no strings attached. Friends don't ignore you and they don't send you their fetish fic and asking if you'd like that. You told him you didn't want the fuck so he did what a fuckboy does, leave you on read. I'm sorry but holding out hope that he will treat you decently will only cause you more depression in the long run. He's not who you thought he was, ghost him.

No. 537591

>>537586
Yeah end it.

Also
>femdom type fantasy
How fucking disgusting.

No. 537595

>>537588
yeah I was younger when I met him and kind of had this mentality that I would never "settle down" so to speak so I didn't see the harm in hooking up. The thing is he knows that I'm still with my bf. He and his ex broke up a little over a month ago so he's probably just lonely/horny or whatever but the way he's been ghosting me makes me feel like he never wanted a friendship in the first place, just the potential for another hookup. I actually cried over this shit this morning, I dont make friends easily and i guess i thought he really wanted to be my friend?
Is this why you dont stay friends with guys you've fucked?

No. 537597

>>537595
>Is this why you dont stay friends with guys you've fucked?
Anon it's fine to be cordial and friendly to them, especially if you get some benefit. But yes, never presume your definition of friendship towards men is the same view they have towards you. Unless they prove they can be relied upon and dependable, but it's especially gross that he reached out to you sexually knowing you have a bf. He's just bored and lonely from his breakup and is looking to use you to satisfy attention and that's just despicable.

No. 537599

>>537595
He's definitely lonely and horny from the breakup. He's just fucking with you and doesn't care about you. Stop talking to his stupid ass

No. 537603

>>537597
>>537590
>>537591
>>537599
I appreciate you guys so much. I'm blocking him on everything right now. Cant believe I sunk that much time into a "friendship" that turned out to be so one sided.

No. 537620

>>537603
You're not alone, anon. This is a very common tactic men use, they take advantage of our "friendship" to manipulate us.
I dated this flakey "muh mental illness!" guy back in 2011 and broke it off because he was just self-centered and never wanted penetrative sex with me. I went to one of his therapy sessions once and he had a load of complexes. I assumed he was gay and figured we'd be better off as friends. He rarely talked to me throughout the years except when he was having hard times with the women he bounced around with, and sometimes after I'd get out of a relationship too. Iirc we just cammed every now and then. While we never fucked, I think he still enjoyed the sexually charged attention as a means of feeling validated–he's an anachan so there's that. Finally he shacked up with a woman 10+ years his senior because she provides and does everything for him while he doesn't work. He STILL finds a way to bitch about her-about I don't remember what specifically. She seems pretty nice on social media so I'm sure whatever frustration she has towards him it's justified on the basis that she does everything for him. But I digress. A couple months ago there was a week where he was trying to get me on camera to 'talk' but he always tried to when she wasn't around. Obviously if he had good intentions he wouldn't have had to been paranoid about that. One day I actually took a break from work that we both agreed upon, just to finally get this talk session over with and he told me "Oh sorry I got someone else to talk to." As if I were chopped liver suddenly because some other woman was there to give him attention and he didn't need me anymore. Women are interchangeable to him as long as they're giving him what he wants, and the women who don't he ignores or discards.
I let him know how rude that was and he hasn't attempted to talk to me since even though he has the means. I've got his number, the only reason why I kept him on social media is because I want to find out what happens to the long term relationship and how long it'll be before that generous and patient woman snaps. She's really like a mom to him.

No. 537623

Boomer neighbor wants to cut down trees between the property line that are ours when there's absolutely nothing wrong with them. Found out the neighbor on the other side or someone who lived there before dug up the ground ages ago to kill the pine tree roots and it worked. Every pine tree beside his fence is dead and started falling from the recent weather. We have to pay thousands now and likely take down other trees in the process to get those dead trees down so they don't fall on the neighbors garage.

Every day when I drive to work I see people taking more of the woods to build more mcmansion houses or turn it into another corn field. A farmer by my house has tons of land for corn while his cows live crammed together by the barn in an acre of land fenced in. Then there's all the signs to vote against the state parks because "muh tax dollars" when they're not asking for more money. It's okay for taxes to fund million dollar military jets but not to fund more nature trails for your grandkids and local animal conversation. Nobody cares about nature and it's driving me crazy. Fuck people.

No. 537628

File: 1586217061506.gif (841.31 KB, 500x300, morrissey.gif)

I can't feel good emotions strongly anymore. I feel like I never had a "honeymoon" phase with my bf. I knew I liked him and we were a good match, but I never had those feelings of infatuation.

I still miss him and look forward to seeing him and want to do things that make him happy, so I know I'm not uninterested. Idk if I'm jaded from previous heartbreaks or if it's a matter of being in an "adult" relationship.

Outside of my relationship, it's the same. I rarely feel excitement or happiness. When I do, they're dull and fleeting.

Bad things typically hit me like a ton of bricks and for awhile, it seemed as if the only deep feelings I had were those of depression.

I just want to feel alive.

No. 537635

>>537628
Not having a honeymoon phase is normal and ideal. If you really love someone, why would it start off so strong and then weaken over time? Infatuation and neediness is just that - infatuation. You're fucking fine, anon. Stop overthinking.

No. 537677

I feel like I'm eating better but I'm not seeing much change on the scale. I know I need to put in more effort to try to exercise everyday since I'm so sedentary and yet. It hurts a little knowing how weight is put on so easily from bad diet and yet it's so slow to come off with a healthy one. My appetite is still huge and I know that's a problem, I just get a bit emotional. I want to come out of this covid crisis as a better version of me but so far I just seem to be hyperfocusing on my faults without seeing much progress.

No. 537685

>>537628
kek anon I'm currently going through a honeymoon phase with a guy and I wish I was more like you. He's my first bf but the rational part of me knows that I don't really know him yet and he has an intense capacity to hurt me because I like him so much, and I just wish my emotions could agree. I feel good things far too much and I'm afraid of the depth of those emotions. Did you ever feel that way about your previous relationships anon?

No. 537713

>>537677
Stop looking at the scale. It isn't an accurate representation of your weight or self worth anon. Seriously, weight fluctuates 3-5 pounds a day and that doesn't account for muscle or shit.
>>537685
I get over the honeymoon phase super quickly but to keep things fresh we plan dates at least once or twice a month and we try to spend quality one and one time once a week min throughout our busy schedules.

No. 537746

>>537515
Men are shallow af but if you build up your confidence you can score a good looking man. It takes time but you can do it anon.

No. 537752

Feeling down and irritable. Don't want to be around anyone the past few days. My dad comes home, asks how i'am, I reply "fine." Then he quietly says. "NO CONVERSATION. NOTHING." sighs deeply and goes to his room. What? Now I feel guilty for what? I'm so sick of it.

No. 537753

>>537752
Communication is key! Go to your dad, explain how you feel, ensure you'll talk to him when you feel better but the silence is what's best for you right now and that's it :)

No. 537757

I wouldn't mind being in a relationship again, but I'm too tired to put in the work and go through the awkward "just met you" phase. I guess I just miss being in an already stable, long term relationship.

No. 537758

>>537753
no. I'm sick of him treating me like a girlfriend.

No. 537759

>>537758
alright, behave like a child and see where it takes you

No. 537767

>>537758
Moving out time

No. 537768

File: 1586253912595.png (797.09 KB, 960x929, 01e.png)

This has been me for past week now stuck in quarantine with my mom, I have cried nearly every day and she keeps on insulting and degrading me, please someone help me

No. 537770

>>537752
If your biggest problem right now is your dad simply asking 'how are you?' grow the fuck up. Stop making your bad mood his problem.

No. 537782

>>537752
I don't get why everyone is jumping down your throat when your dad is in the wrong there.

No. 537793

>>537752
I understand you. My father always asks me how I am, but I know exactly that he doesn't actually want to know how I really feel, he wants me to smile and act as if everything is wonderful, but I can't do that because most of the time I feel like shit. So I usually say Fine or Okay and then he asks Only okay? Why not fantastic? and then I come up with stuff like classes being stressful because otherwise he'd react like your dad. It's not like he really cares that I'm a depressed loser since years already, a couple days ago I started crying while sitting right next to him and he didn't even notice. He thinks only his problems are valid, while everything I have to deal with is a challenge I must go through. He only wants me to seem happy, to tell him I love you daddy, give him a kiss on the cheek, so that he can feel at peace that everything's alright. So yeah, I also wished he just stopped asking, so that I no longer have to try and pretend. He's not a bad father, but he was at work most of my childhood, so we're kind of emotionally distant (I'm scared of more deeper or serious talks with him since it always feels like an interrogation) and he likes to be in control but also not having to deal with my siblings and my problems.

No. 537794

>>537770
I don't think that's their problem, it's his weird passive-aggressive reply. This can get really tiring if you're in a bad mood and the parent is the kind that is constantly seeking confrontation and takes everything personally. But I still agree with >>537753 and >>537767 if it's possible.

No. 537798

>>537752
You're allowed to be in a bad mood, you're allowed to not wanna talk, any minimally adequate parent would understand that. If your dad wants conversation, he can seek it elsewhere.

No. 537811

Anons, I (23) need some help. Basically, my ex boyfriend, Joe, (25) from a few years ago has a new girlfriend, Lola (18), but we’re still very close best friends. We broke up because I had problems staying faithful, but when we tried poly, I didn’t like it when he had other girlfriends. He has relocated to England to be with this new girlfriend and plans to pursue citizenship.

I have a bf atm, but he's not long-term. I genuinely believe that Joe and I are soulmates, and his new gf isn’t right for him. She doesn’t understand him like I do. They’ve been together for almost a year ago now. I often try to flirt with Joe subtly and send him naughty selfies: i.e. ass pics, panty pics, and cleavage selfies. He doesn’t really respond to them, but doesn’t ask me to stop. I comment on all of his statuses, because I know she sees them.

I’m friends with her on fb bc when he visits USA, she'll come too, and have to meet her if I wanna hang out with him. I really don’t like that, I feel like she’s basically stolen him from me and has colonised his life, when I had him first. I have spoken to her a few times and we were nice to each other, but she basically just flexed about the fact she goes to college and lives in an expensive area and how she made loads of money camming. She's a narcissist who thinks she's better than me for this.

His family banned me from his house. His gma never liked me when, because I didn’t talk to her much and would be high around her pretty often, but she worships the ground Lola walks on. Lola has turned Joe’s whole family against me. This insane bitch managed to get his whole family wrapped out her finger?!

I say flirty things, i.e. calling him buff, asking him if I’m cute, and I share pictures from our relationship to his timeline, so she knows I had him first. I’m sure she sees these, but she doesn’t react. I also send him pics of us hanging out/kissing from when we were dating, but he’s dismissive.

I check both their profiles a few times a day, and she acts as like they're perfect: posting selfies of them travelling, family events, christmas pics etc. I try to find vulnerabilities in her posts and exploit them to criticise their relationship. He has told me that he thinks she isn’t very intelligent, and I think he assumes that he’s confiding in a friend who is impartial/unbiased. Whenever he says somethings negative i.e. she makes a mistake, I get him to talk more about it, and then use it to highlight how toxic and manipulative she is.

I also added a couple of her IRL friends. His friends act cold to me and when I try to talk to them in comments, they ignore me, as Lola has manipulated them into ostracising me. They often mock me for flirting with him on his posts and it makes me feel humiliated. I wish I could interact with him freely without worrying about his retard friends. They all worship and orbit Lola and compliment their relationship, it’s crazy.

I’m hoping that if I keep this up, they will break up. I sent a veiled love confession to him a few months ago: if we’re meant to be together, then we both need to take responsibility to make that happen. He didn’t respond. We still tell each other ‘ily’, but he often says things like ‘no homo’ or ‘I can’t really comment on that’. He hasn’t outright rejected me.

Honestly, she's a stuck up, blonde slut and I know that isn’t his type AT ALL. She’s stupid, he even admits that. She’s a total narcissist and thinks she’s better than me because she goes to college and has perky tits. She’s constantly flexing her wealth by posting holiday selfies and talking about her achievements (i.e. prom queen, getting into a masters program.) She also financially abuses him by taking him on holidays, buying him PS4, new clothes and bragging about it online, when he’s on welfare. He probably uses her for his money. I used to make him pay for gas when we hung out…

Me and him have a very special bond and we have way more compatibility and we share way more interests than he does with her. He even told me he prefers my personality and that he loves me and would never get rid of me. We talk every single day. But he’s never made any sort of romantic gesture since they began dating. We both like gaming, computers and politics, and I’m a lot smarter than her and am more capable of discussing these subjects.

What can I do? Should I just be direct and ask him if we can get back together? He used to be all over me regardless of my infidelity/mild emotional abuse and now he acts totally different to me. Should I ask him to choose between us? I still love him and I hate seeing that he’s with someone who is essentially better than me. He was MINE first. I obviously regret not agreeing to stop cheating and be with him monogamously, and he gave me plenty of chances, but I didn’t realise him going out and finding someone else was actually an option. How can I get this stupid ‘fake’ relationship out of the way? I’m exhausted.

Summary: TL;DR Ex has a new gf who isn't right for him at all. He has relocated to England to be with her. We're clearly a better match and my attempts to break them up are so far, failing.

No. 537817

>>537811
Have you ever heard of bpd?

No. 537819

>>537817
I have autism and asperges but I'm not sure about bpd.

No. 537821

>>537811
keep your hands off someone elses boyfriend wtf

You can't seriously say this

>I often try to flirt with Joe subtly and send him naughty selfies: i.e. ass pics, panty pics, and cleavage selfies.


and then be surprised about this:

>Lola has turned Joe’s whole family against me.

No. 537822

>>537811
0/10 troll please try harder, you flubbed it talking about tits and "my infidelity/mild emotional abuse" too fucking much anon.

No. 537823

>>537819
Autism and aspergers are the same thing, aspergers just being the 'type' of autism, weird that you list them as two seperate diagnoses

No. 537824

>>537821
It's bait anon

No. 537829

>>537822
>>537824

Not bait and genuinely seeking advice. I know it may seem like I'm trolling but this is my genuine situation and I'm sick of their bullshit relationship. He's obviously just dating her to make me jealous.

I asked if he's going to marry her and he said no.

No. 537831

>>537821
She's the retard for thinking he actually likes her… She's made his fam hate me, which is totally unfair on me, because when/if we get back together, it'll be difficult for us to hang out as he doesn't drive and I have roommates.

So because of Lola, there is no way for us to hang out unless we do it in public. How the fuck am i meant to have a friendship with him if there's no way for us to hang out? She's a manipulating cunt and she's trying to stop us being friends.

No. 537832

>>537831
Oh wow maybe you do have double-autism anon, no wonder they diagnosed you twice.

No. 537833

>>537811
Stop being pathetic and let him go. You didn't even had the capacity to stay faithful to him

No. 537834

>>537811
You need serious psychological help. He's not interested, leave them both alone and let them be happy. You likely have BPD as >>537817 said. You need jealousy counselling.

No. 537835

>>537829
>and then use it to highlight how toxic and manipulative she is.

no you are toxic and manipulative.

I seriously hope this is a bait, and if not I hope you get the professional help you need to fix this unhealthy obsessive behaviour.

No. 537836

>>537811
You are relentlessly pursuing someone who is NOT into you. Grow the fuck up, no wonder he chose her.

No. 537838

>>537811
So, basically, you gaslight your exes new girlfriend, while pretending to be her friend, and send him nudes, and wonder why she 'turned his family' against you?

Bitch she probably just showed them the lewds/shittalking from Joe's inbox, and that was enough.

You're 23 and she's 18 and seems to be more mature than you. How do you get through life like this? I can't take you seriously.

He's ignoring your nudes, your confessions and he isn't telling you to fuck off because your friendship is probably fragile. Maybe you are a better friend for him, but that's all he sees you as.

He doesn't want you and I can see why he prefers Lola.

No. 537840

>>537811
You deserve to be mocked, just go live your life and leave your ex alone

No. 537842

>>537819
Can you answer why an autistic person would ever make the mistake of claiming to have both of these, they're the same thing. An autistic person would know that.

No. 537849

i keep forgetting to sage my posts and i dont feel like getting 30 “SAGE YOUR SHIT RETARD” replies

No. 537851

>>537831
Anon, you and your ex are never ever getting back together. No if's or when's. You don't love him. If you loved him, you would want him to be happy, and not treat him as a pawn in your sociopathic mind games. It's never okay to send "ass pics" to someone who doesn't consent. He is not your property, and you're probably hurting him a lot. Get over yourself and go to therapy.

>I try to find vulnerabilities in her posts and exploit them to criticise their relationship

>she makes a mistake, I get him to talk more about it
>he assumes that he’s confiding in a friend who is impartial/unbiased
This is the definition of you being manipulative, anon. Stop reading their profiles and get a new hobby. Grow some plants. Get a cat. Go to church. I don't know. But you gotta move on.

No. 537852

>>537811
>>537829
1. Why is all this structured like a Reddit post? Can you take your shitty copypasta back there?
2. This is obviously some ragebait bullshit.
Didn't one anon say we're being raided or something? Can't these people come up with better stories?

No. 537856

>>537851

Lol what so I'm a rapist for sending him ass pics? He didn't tell me to stop…

>>537852

I genuinely want advice and posts like this aren't helpful.

No. 537858

>>537856
Why do you keep ignoring the posts asking about your autism? Explain your magical double diagnosis

No. 537859

>>537858
It’s inconsequential. Autism, asperegers, whatever. Do you have any genuine advice?

No. 537862

>>537859
yes get a therapist

No. 537865

>>537859
It's proof that you're making this shit up

No. 537866

>>537811
If I was his girlfriend I would post your pathetic nudes to anon-ib and send them to your workplace, and your current boyfriend.

They’re probably both laughing at you, anon

No. 537867

Years and years ago a good old friend (whom I’ve known previously) used me as he wished. Basically I was there for him while he was experiencing a messy break up and we ended up having sex (he was my first btw), for a few months we were hooking up and then he got a girlfriend. I always wanted to be with him (I wasn’t totally in love but I loved him and I thought he loved me too) and of course that hurt me because he knew, he was always telling me he wasn’t searching for a relationship at that moment so I felt betrayed.
I cut him for good later than I should have done it and nowadays I’m in engaged in a healthy relationship with someone who I couldn’t love more. When I talked with my ex friend for the last time I told him he wasn’t that important in my life anymore and he asked me sorry (two years after all the shit happened) and we didn’t talk since then.
But lately I’ve thinking about what happened and I realised we were just kids and he truly wasn’t in a good place to start with. I’m not excusing him, he was totally a jerk and I wouldn’t want him in my life nowadays because I don’t need him but sometimes I get this urge to tell him that I don’t have him.
I don’t know, I kinda feel bad knowing someone it’s out there thinking I hate his guts when truly, I don’t. When I told him he wasn’t important anymore I was kind of hurt indeed but now I think about it and I don’t, I grew up and I at times I wish he could know it.

No. 537868

>>537856
It's only as weird as a guy sending unsolicited dick pics. For advice, for your mental health, you should block him and his girlfriend on everything, live your best life, and think about trying to give friendship a shot again in a few years.

No. 537869

>>537851
Why is it so absurd that we may get back together. I know that he prefers me to her and he has said so in that many words.

No. 537870

>>537868
Were kinda co dependent and the thought of not being in contact with him gives me actual nightmares. He wouldn’t want me to block him.

No. 537871

>>537811
Kek autists deserve to feel bad, I hope you continue to suffer

No. 537872

>>537869
If you are genuinely this autistic go talk to a professional, we could shit up the thread all day with your story but lets not.

No. 537879

>>537811

There is so much to unpack here but I can't address it all. You definitely have bpd.

Stop sending ass pics. It's creepy and violating, it's like being sent a dickpic. He didn't ask for them, and he didn't respond to them. He doesn't want to see that shit.

Leave their relationship alone, they sound far more happier than you guys ever were, and you can't seem to tell me one bad thing about this poor lass, other than the fact that she's doing a hell of a lot better than you in life.

>how toxic and manipulative she is


Literally how? It sounds to me like she's been pretty fucking lenient by allowing him to still be friends with you despite your bullshit.

Even if she did ask him to block you, that wouldn't make her toxic or manipulative, because you're actively trying to sabotage their relationship.

No. 537881

>>537856
Okay, I have time today.
The proof this isn't real is in how you keep ignoring all the well-written responses, giving stupid one-line, delusional-sounding replies and dragging everything out after everyone's already told you that you're the one in the wrong here and should stop.
It's like you're just trying to annoy people with a tale of a stereotypical BPD-chan. Another sign is how you present everything:
>Whenever he says somethings negative i.e. she makes a mistake,
Someone who legitimately thinks this way wouldn't say "she makes a mistake". That's too sympathetic. They'd be following the script of her being a fuck-up perfectly, and try to present the other woman as malicious whenever possible to build sympathy for themselves.

>I also added a couple of her IRL friends.

This part should be omitted. You're speaking like someone observing a cow. From the actual person's perspective, this would just be "our mutual friends, some of which she knows IRL". Or, "I tried to bridge the gap between our social circles so we could make peace".

>How can I get this stupid ‘fake’ relationship out of the way? I’m exhausted.

Why is "fake" in quotation marks?

This is your biggest fuck-up, though:
>Honestly, she's a stuck up, blonde slut and I know that isn’t his type AT ALL. She’s stupid, he even admits that. She’s a total narcissist and thinks she’s better than me because she goes to college and has perky tits. She’s constantly flexing her wealth by posting holiday selfies and talking about her achievements (i.e. prom queen, getting into a masters program.) She also financially abuses him by taking him on holidays, buying him PS4, new clothes and bragging about it online, when he’s on welfare. He probably uses her for his money. I used to make him pay for gas when we hung out…
This is the most retarded line. It honestly sounds sarcastic. I can't believe you typed this thinking it'd be convincing to anyone but a low-IQ scrote.

>I hate seeing that he’s with someone who is essentially better than me.

The person who would write the shit you posted would never admit this.

Honestly, the person wouldn't even be seeking anonymous advice and trying to convince everyone they're in the right. They'd already know their actions wouldn't be backed or supported by other people. You're a piss-poor writer, anon. If this is real, you're probably "Lola", using this thread to vent and have people attack your boyfriend's ex because you feel annoyed by him still talking to her. The "perky tits", "bought him a PS4", "flexing about college and living in an expensive area" are too braggy. Just fucking dump him already.

No. 537882

>>537881

And suppose I'm for real? What do I do?

No. 537884

>>537882
Follow the multiple other posts that assume you're real instead of shitting up this thread arguing and trying to get everyone involved in your story.

No. 537885

>>537811
>She also financially abuses him by taking him on holidays, buying him PS4, new clothes and bragging about it online, when he’s on welfare.

I feel personally attacked because I did all this stuff for my ex line for line even the PS4 Pro lmao.
But I'm confused, do people really view this as "financial abuse" to a man? Women doing nice things for men is abuse? I'm so confused by what anon meant.

No. 537887

>>537885
>But I'm confused, do people really view this as "financial abuse" to a man? Women doing nice things for men is abuse?
No. It's shitty bait.

No. 537888

>>537882
Have you noticed you answer everything with another question, almost like you're forcing out a conversation for as long as you possibly can. Almost like this is bait.

No. 537890

>>537811

youre insane leave them alone. hes not interested in you and gf is probably pissing herself laughing at u. willing to bet he shows her ur sad 'nudes'

No. 537891

>>537829
So, what? You asked him a leading question, he probably meant he's not planning on marrying her right now, like no shit they're both young.

You're trying to look for meaning that he wants you when he's probably just too embarrassed/polite to tell you to go to hell.

Bet you think you're some sort of mastermind 'homewrecker' evil genius but i guarantee all his and her friends know about you and are taking the piss out of you.

You don't have a 'special bond' you're just a retard who can't let him go.

No. 537892

>>537882
Anon tell us about the 'autism and asperges' detail that you added in at the last moment. Age of diagnosis, how does it affect you? How does an autistic have such a poor understanding of what autism is? I find that strange.

No. 537900

why is everyone replying to a fake story from moidbot?

No. 537904

>>537900
Exactly, been pointed out by a few that it's obvs that and then holes in the story have been pointed out. Still gets more replies than most posts on here ever get? Go figure.

No. 537905

>>537811
>>537900
Idk why but I think this anon is that ~18 yo stripper~ who appeared in relationship advice thread before. She is just looking for reassurance. Bum bf who is a pathethic NEET, and who leeches off his 18 yo sex worker gf, check. Pathethic older ex who cheated on him, check. Bf still refuses to let go of his ex, check.

No. 537909

>>537905
I'm >>537881 and I thought the exact same thing, but I didn't want to tinfoil too much.
It's been what, months? Maybe even a year since she last shared this situation with us? She always ignores anons when they tell her to leave her worthless boyfriend, so she must be very happy and satisfied with this bullshit gimpgirl-tier cuckquean relationship. I don't know why she keeps coming back, and even trying to write from the other girl's perspective.
The only inconsistency is her being 18 up til now, but I'd have to go back and look at dates.

No. 537911

>>537900
>>537904
>>537905
>>535754
>>537909

Okay Maybe i'm not explaining myself very well. This isn't bait or tinfoil.

>We dated for 5 years and an intense history that makes us very close friends.

>I sent nudes, he ignored it but doesn't tell me to stop. Emphasis on HE DOESN'T SAY STOP. It's a mixed signal.
>We talk every day
>We tell each other we love each other every day
>His new gf is trash, narcissist, constantly flexxing her wealth
>We are far more compatible and understand each other. We both like computers, 4chan, the same music, politics, and are on the same level
>new gf is a retard bimbo who has no concept of any of that stuff despite going to college
>He has moved his entire life to the UK because she probably forced him to. He's being abused by her, why else would she make him uproot?

I need to stop this bullshit relationship, it's gone on for long enough. I'm tired. I want him back.

Can't I just get him deported or some shit? He has no one else out here so if he got deported to the US he would basically be forced to get back with me.

No. 537912

>>537911
See a professional, even for a confirmed autistic you are really fucked in the head. Stay single, you obviously can't handle people and have no concept of what's normal behaviour.

No. 537913

>confined with my inlaws
>heavy, painful periods
>No sex because no privacy
>Feels really bloated and gross
>Bf talks about how hot some actress is, insist on her sexy bedroom eyes.

I'm not talking to him and he does't understands why.

No. 537914

>>537911
When a man really wants something they're going to get it regardless of what it takes.

If he wanted to be with you, he would be.

No. 537916

File: 1586272877522.png (425.77 KB, 2074x1150, 893892198.png)

>>537911
>doubling down
Stop already. Even the nudes thing. Even the fucking apostrophes. I swear to god, this is pathetic.
Didn't you mention living in the UK before, too? And post your face here?
Your boyfriend is the problem here, stop trying to use us for catharsis when the real solution is staring you in the face.

No. 537918


No. 537920

>>537916
There was a poster yesterday claiming her bf was raped by an ex gf and that post stank of BS too. I think it's some obsessive roleplaying

No. 537922

>sleeps until 9pm
>what the FUCK
>decided to stay the entire night and day up and then go to bed when it's like 6pm
>ok sounds good
>falls asleep when it's around 7am
>wakes up a few hours later when it's late again

fuck my life

No. 537925

I'm studying to be a civil servant and I haven't studied for two days in a row and I feel terrible for it. I'm tired even though I haven't got out of the house for two weeks due to the lockdown and I've been getting more and more anxious. It's gotten to the point that when I wake up I wish the day was already over.

No. 537926

File: 1586274453265.png (154.41 KB, 1886x432, 8529981.png)

>>537920
Raped by an ex gf? Yup, it's definitely the same one.

No. 537927

>>537925
two days don't change a single thing anon, no need to be stressed in this situation, just keep calm and everything will be fine

No. 537960

>>537926
The one yesterday was trying to bait people into calling their bf a monster for never allowing 'her' to initiate sex, then when he got the replies he wanted he suddenly pipes up with >oh yeah I just remembered my bf was raped before. As if they couldn't link those pieces together til someone called him a controlling dick?.. so transparent.

Seen a weird amount of references to male rape on here lately. It reminds me of a few months back when there was an influx of posts from anons all with smelly pussies. So pussies smell and men get raped all the time. My two favorite roleplays to spot on here.

No. 537973

Sorry if this is a stupid question, but I don't really know about how to google this. I'm the anon with the three year old brother from yesterday and things got a little worse.

My mother is threatening suicide because of her boyfriend breaking up with her and I want to get her hospitalized. If she was hospitalized, where would my little brother go? Since I'm legally an adult, would he just stay with me or would they try to contact his father to take him? For context, his father has seen him maybe once or twice out of all three years of his life and is not a reliable person when it comes to caring for my brother.

No. 537974

Tomorrow is my, now former, best friends birthday and idk if I should send him a quick birthday message or not.

We didn't want to cut contact but he was being a shithead by not valuing our feiendship and picking a girl he just met over me. I'm still hurt but I'd lie if I'd say that I don't care at least a tiny bit. Guess the worst case scenario is I'll get ignored. Why do I even fucking care.

No. 537977

>>537974
I wouldn't do it anon. It's similar to say texting an ex when the break up wasn't good. Fight that urge cos if part of you even expects you'll be ignored that sounds bad.

No. 537982

>>537973
Sorry you're going through this. From what I know based on experiences my friends and coworkers have had, he would stay with you so long as you have a place to stay

No. 537984

>>537977
I guess you're right?
I mean things didn't really end "ugly" between us, he knows what he did, apologized for it, said that it wasn't an easy decision for him to make and that there was no other way, which I think is bullshit considering the whole story.

I guess I'm just worried about him since he and she are both already dead set on having kids before they turn 30 (so like, in 5 years) and marrige. They've known each other for less than a year and he literally clung to the first woman that showed interest. He's so desperate for marrige and kids that he might screw himself over. I know I could be wrong and I hope all goes well for him, but yea I'm just worried. I suppoes I just want him to know I'm here if he needs support, idk really.

No. 537992

>>537977
This. He sounds like an asshole and if you keep talking to him and enable whatever he did to you, he'll think it'll be ok to string you along while still treating you like shit. I wouldn't.

No. 537998

>>537984
If he makes mistakes with her then that's his choice or his lesson to learn etc. Leave him to it.

No. 537999

>>537984
don't care for someone that doesn't (equally) care for you anon, you'll only end up used and/or hurt.

No. 538003

A friend of mine posted a story on IG that he's playing acnh with my boyfriend and another of our friends. At his place. During a fucking pandemic and quarantine. On top of it my boyfriend doesn't live alone and our other friends mom is sick and recently had surgery, he sometimes helps her out now because she's, well, ill. Why are men like this? I'm honestly beyond speechless by their idiocy.

No. 538005

>>537992
>>537998
>>537999
Thanks anons, I'll do my best not to contact him. Sucks, but you're all right. He probably doesn't even think about me at this point. No need to hurt or upset myself some more.

No. 538017

So I just had an interview for my dream job, it went super well and the woman basically told me I was hired, all I need to do is pass a drug test and a background check. Everything would be great except…I do have an arrest on my record (nothing serious, it's from a couple of years ago when I was young and dumb, my "friends" got caught shoplifting and since I was with them I got charged as an accomplice) The charges were dropped and I never got a conviction, but there's a good chance the arrest will still show on the background check and it might prevent them from hiring me. Fuck, I hate that I have to worry about this shit ruining opportunities for me. I'm working on getting it removed from my record but until then I might be screwed. If I don't get the job despite being the perfect candidate, I'll cry

No. 538025

My bf is giving me the could shoulder as he always does when he's pissed and I'm mad at myself because every time he does the same I remember what an anon here told me: mental abuse. He’s mental abusive. And I know what I should do but I also know he’s the only getaway I have here, if I lose him I basically don’t have family nor friends.
Also my stupid brain tells me I’m in love with him even when he told me things no one ever told me, even when I have been yelled at, mocked, insulted and of course ignored.
I can’t understand why someone who’s supposed to loves you can hurt you this much but I guess he doesn’t love me, he only think he does in a sick way.

No. 538040

>>535754
If I hear one more person tell me that I looked pissed/depressed when it's literally JUST MY RESTING FACE. I can't help that my eyebrows are straight and close to my eyes. I've had people tell me that I'm unapproachable because I look like a buzzkill/mean person. I've had people tell me that I'm really pretty but that I need to smile more. Imagine having to walk around constantly smiling to make sure other people know you're not mad. I will be in a great mood and just hearing that I look sad/mad makes me want to slap a bitch.

No. 538056

File: 1586294272746.jpg (126.31 KB, 600x600, 600x600.jpg)

What's a girl got to do to get fucked by an elven tree lord

Where's the witchcraft anon to cast a spell on me and transport me to him

No. 538057

>>537811
didn't even see this disaster of a post. you're trying to larp as pizza girl while having a clearly non-american typing style? can you literally make one post on here about your relationship without gassing yourself up?

No. 538066

File: 1586295767608.jpg (15.79 KB, 275x154, 1572118914666.jpg)

>>537811
1. His gf is 1000% times better than you. Period.

2. His family hates you because SURPRISE! -You- are the toxic manipulative one.

3. "Hes obviously dating her to make me feel jelly," "shes evil because she buys him stuff and takes him on holiday," is all a massive cope and projection on your part.

4. This 18 year old girl is ten times as mature as you. She also treats him like a human being and not a possesion.

5. Get psychological help you fucking insane BPD bitch.

No. 538067

>>538063
uhhh..Fyi this does not translate to what you think it does in Arabic. Like not at all what you were aiming for lmao. Google translate is going to throw someone in prison one of these days.

No. 538069

>>538066
anon, this is a larp written by the 18 year old for validation to shit on the 23 year old, who she calls ugly and a loser for delivering pizzas.

No. 538075

>>538066
I aspire to be the type of bitch that makes my bf’s ex seethe that hard
>>537918
I like how I knew exactly what song u linked lol a bop

No. 538077

>>538063
Bitch most people here don’t read spaghetti

No. 538078

>>538075
>>538075
his ex is not writing that. that was not written by a salty ex girlfriend at all. the current gf, the 18 yr old, wrote that.

No. 538080

>>538067
Idk what it says but I like the first part of anon's chant from what google translate is telling me lmfao.

No. 538082

File: 1586296529551.png (273.83 KB, 2048x774, 903911213.png)

>>538070
See
>>537905
>>537916
>>537926
Pic related is her, too, but she ended up getting back with him. She's made a lot of posts on this topic, but I think this is the first time she's tried to impersonate pizza girl.

No. 538085

>>538084
No one said you were, unless you're the one who posted >>537811, in which case, lmao. No one is fooled. Stop this shit.
I think this might be the first time it was mentioned, but there are probably others:
>>>/g/109004

No. 538102

>>535754
SICK OF FOODS/PRODUCTS LABELED XXXXHOT NOT BEING EVEN REMOTELY HOT. I want my asshole to burn bitch

No. 538103

>>538089
>>538082
Holy shit the milk is locally sourced. What an unhinged cunt, LARPing as an ex so she can bask in posts saying new gf is better? The “boyfriend” must be one of those guys who seeks extraordinarily mentally ill women and uses their money lmao

No. 538108

Had a bit of a mental breakdown on Friday because I had a bit of a fight with my mum and my sleep was absolutely ruined. I got 3 hours of sleep. My boyfriend was supposed to come over the next day but I asked if we could just meet up for a small walk instead or something since I was just absolutely wrecked and had to go to sleep early that evening and we always like to stay up late which would not be possible in my state.
I told him this but he immediately tried to push me to have him over anyway because he wanted to watch movies with me and yada yada. I just decided not to text him anymore at that point because I feel like I made myself clear so I just took some time away instead of getting pissy in my sleep deprived state. He hasn't tried to text me since.

No. 538110

>>538082
So today when she claimed to have 'both autism and asperges' but couldn't answer any questions wanting detail on her weird double diagnosis (of the same thing twice) was it because it's the other girl that has autism?

No. 538119

I turn into such a bumbling retard while I'm on my period. I can't concentrate, I'm always tired(which makes me very clumsy), I can't multitask, I get mad and sad over the dumbest shit, I can't even form coherent sentences sometimes making me look like an even bigger autist. I feel like menstruation is proof Gods real and fucking evil.

No. 538136

>>538082
This is tinfoil, fuck off and stop shitting up the thread

No. 538138

>>538066
Lol, this

>>537811
Anon leave them both alone, tf

No. 538139

>>537811
The fuck this isn't reddit, retard.

No. 538142

Is anyone on here a student? How are you coping with the switch to online format? I'm having such a hard time remembering all the assignments due dates, and a hard time finding time to complete assignments with undivided attention (i have a very big, full house.) I'm like having a panic attack rn because I have two exams due this week that I feel I have barely studied for at all, and I have a research paper due at the end of the semester that has to be 10-12 pages long and I only have the intro written. The instructor that English class has been totally MIA since the switch. Im just freaking.out.

No. 538143

>>538136
Sure it is. All this shit just coincidentally lines up, down to the fucking apostrophes used by both the pizza girl ITT and the OP, the 18 year old sex worker buying her NEET bf a PS4 and a trip abroad (turns out it was to Italy, apparently), the ages, the pizza girl sending nudes to the bf, the location (UK), the 18 year old having a degree she can't help bragging about, the insecurities of the 18 year old (mainly that their interests line up), etc.
What a fucking astronomical chance.
This isn't tinfoil, fuck off if you can't be assed to read the posts.

No. 538148

File: 1586301588916.png (230.04 KB, 1252x718, st.PNG)

>>538136
nta but it really isn't tinfoil. it's the same poster, same exact ages of all of them, she mentioned a million times buying him a ps4, him being american with an american ex she thinks is an ugly loser, her being english, him being on welfare, her being 'successful'. it's the same girl larping. it's literally all in her first posts, and in subsequent posts.

No. 538149

>>538142
At school I was totally the type of student to have my homework done 2-7 days in advance, now I'm literally doing everything the day of, and I'm always a day to a week BEHIND in classes now. Its so stressful, is your college letting you pass/fail classes? My state is and I'm so thankful, I'm not as stressed out by turning in what I feel like is mediocre work cause I don't necessarily strive for A's now. The environment change is so different too, I live in a dorm at school so obviously I'm home now and now everyones out of school or working from home, I'm so used to operating on my own schedule and living with someone who was never home lol. Good luck anon, I know literally everyone is stressing out so don't take it too hard if you feel like you're struggling more than you should be or something!!

No. 538152

I was hanging out with my bf and his friends (who I don't really like already) and one made a really upsetting and offensive joke (to me), when I was standing right there, and he knows why it's a bad joke around me, but then my boyfriend laughed and chimed into the joke. It made me so so uncomfortable, so I just confronted him because he kept asking me why I seemed upset, and he claimed not only did he ever do that, but he doesn't remember ever even HEARING the joke, when I know I didn't imagine it or something because I have messages to my friend talking about it as if happened?? Wtf

No. 538153

>>538152
what did he say that was offensive? He's either gaslighting you or he genuinely doesn't remember which is a red flag. Him not remembering shows he doesn't care because it doesn't affect him the way it affects you. You should also confront him about being a kiss-ass around his friends. I have family members who laugh at shitty jokes or excuse shitty behavior from their shitty friends because they don't want to be friendless.

No. 538170

>>538153
It was a cutting joke about emo kids slitting their wrists and shit, when they all know I suffered from INTENSE self harm, to the point where my arms are so clearly marred it looks like Wolverine gave me a rubdown. I think these things are so frustrating too because if I make a quick joke about myself, usually about disorders I have, he gets really upset and tells me that I NEED to stop doing that (which is understandable but stupid when this happens.)


Same friends are getting better about it but would make horrid, HORRID level rape jokes when I have spoken out about that needing to stop because of me being a victim (And if not a joke, used in the typical gamer greasy dude of "Yeah I got raped in that game" "That raped my wallet"

I hate this shit so much but I stay around because my boyfriend and also i have very bad paranoia that people i care about will talk about me.

No. 538185

>>536916
Don't feel too bad anon, once quarantine is over we will all emerge chubby and with bad hair.

No. 538186

Pale skin + warm undertones is such a cursed combo. I look sick all the time.
I remember a photo of me from when I was like 8 during the summer and I'm so tanned I look like a completely different person. I know it's not healthy to tan too much, but I really do wish I still tanned as easily as I did some years ago (being a shut in doesn't help)

No. 538187

>>537811
I am not reading all this shit

No. 538189

My gf won't let me order Taco Bell, even if I tip the Grub Hub driver 100%. She thinks it is risky and stupid, but yo quero Taco Bell. My life is suffering.

No. 538191

>>538186
Mann nobody gives a fuck about any of that. I bet you look great anon

No. 538192

>>538142
i absolutely cannot discipline myself, and it doesn't help that all my professors are old and aren't good with the internet. i also can't keep up with due dates and have missed several assignments. we were given like a day to get used to online school and shit was due within 24 hours. my professors didn't bother to email us about the assignments. luckily all my exams are online so i can use my notes and google. but like. i'd love to learn face to face bc that's easiest for me(we're not using zoom for some reason)

my summer courses have already been declared online, which is good don't get me wrong, but i'm not looking forward to it. it was so much fun last summer, coming to school with barely anyone on campus and everyone was generally in a better mood and more pleasant to be around

No. 538197

>>538192
>>538142
How long do you guys have to do online classes for? I'm not in college and I'm curious. Sounds like shit.

No. 538213

>>538148
Hahaha I remember this. She really posted that mug.

No. 538281

I went to the pinkpill thread to vent about issues with my bf just to get called male, bait, and continued getting told I was obnoxious because I wanted an explanation

Life is fucking great

No. 538283

Some people seem unironically starved for attention and it gets me a little down for them. I wish they had healthier ways to cope.

No. 538284

File: 1586321539451.jpeg (103.27 KB, 1080x868, 78F9B782-B88F-4F14-BD78-CADF56…)

I am such a fucking SIMP and a WHORE. I cannot stop simping for my ex roommate/friend and I feel shitty for being unable to stop thinking about how much I wanna fuck him.

How does a guy go clubbing with you every Saturday night (up until quarantine), watch movies with you most other nights, come into your JOB to tell you HE JUST WANTED TO SEE YOU, go to the gym with you (up until quarantine), text you everyday, make MEMES for you, and now, I recently moved out a week or so ago, he doesn’t even text me.

I once came by to pick up extra stuff the other day and he said “so what movie are we watching” , we watched a movie and halfway through it he asks me about my ex that I had just broken up with, I told him we’re good now, emotionally. Here’s where I’m a slut, we all lived with each other. I never cheated on my boyfriend, but when I knew my emotions were rising and I couldn’t stop (along with other incompatibility stuff) I broke it off with him. Fast forward I go home, I text him that I really like watching movies with you and things with my ex are in a position where it’s ok when I come over. He responds with stuff about ok etc and then “I like watching movies with you too :)”

We both like emoji spam pasta and I thought this was my one chance. I don’t even wanna date this guy I really just wanna fuck him and watch movies. So I responded in an emoji spam meme format about the :) with does this mean (Eggplant emoji,etc etc) it was suggestive but I don’t think it was cringe.. he responds with LOL (he’s almost 40).

Now I’ve texted him twice after that like a simp, hung out with him once and it was nothing unusual, but he’s not as social with me anymore since I left.

I feel like I ruined whatever and I can’t stop wanting to simp out on him even though he’s not even worth it. And I am a total slut because my ex lives with him until the end of this month and I realized when hanging with my roommate that my ex and I had nothing in common, my ex didn’t even try to pull me back in, my ex also hit walls and is unmedicated bipolar so I was already realizing I wasn’t ready to date this guy anymore. I feel bad that a month after the breakup I brought up anything remotely sexual to my roommate.

I just needed to rant about it. I sound like a fugly dude that got friendzoned and a whore that is on to the next one.. this is what happens when men give an ugly girl attention.

No. 538287

>>538284
>I sound like a fugly dude
Yeahhhhhhh.

No. 538288

>>538284
Long ass post my guy

No. 538290

>>538284
> I sound like a fugly dude
Only because you repeatedly use the word 'simp', wtf anon.

No. 538295

>>538290
More than that but yeah anon most definitely has a disgusting dick.

No. 538298

>>535754
Just read somewhere that because I'm already at a healthy weight, losing 10 pounds won't make a noticeable difference to myself or others and that I won't lose the weight in the places I want so I binged on a family size bag of hot chips instead lmao.

No. 538299

>>538298
Whaaaaaaat, it's the total opposite. The less you weigh, the more difference 10lbs makes, and it's the amount of weight that takes you from average to skinny. It fucking sucks though because it's harder to lose when you're not overweight, and I really hate feeling like a healthy weight isn't good enough because it should be.

No. 538301

>>538299
……..Why is this making me stare at an empty bag of chips with even more regret. I weigh 130 (F, 5'4) and I've already lost 5 pounds and am trying to get down to at least 125. I read that I will lose the weight in my stomach mainly, even though my thighs are my "problem area" is that part at least accurate?

No. 538319

>>538301
where you gain first is where you'll lose first. do you mean the fat surrounding the organs? yeah, that's where people lose fat first, but you're not very heavy, so… just don't eat so much tomorrow and the next days you can balance out your hot chips binge. (so subtract whatever the cals were over tomorrow or a few days). you don't have to lose weight by daily goals, you can stay within calorie guidelines by week.

No. 538322

>>535754
I wish people could understand that socializing is emotionally and physically draining. I'm a decent socializer but socializing still requires a lot of mental gymnastics for me. It's not natural for me therefore it's not something I want to do for fun. Fun to me is hanging with one person or by myself. I am okay being this way and I'm okay not having a lot of friends, but people around me think I'm weird or broken for not needing/wanting to socialize every single day.

No. 538323

>>538322
same. i really don't get what's so fun about it? it's pretty boring. it's definitely draining and not worth it.

No. 538337

Just got a message today by a dude I blocked some time ago because I thought we could be good friends simce we had similiar interests but all he wanted was nudes and tit pics and didn't talk to me unless he was horny, and he begged me till I succumbed and sent him and I got tired of feeling like a whore so I blocked him. Now he's saying he has my pics saved in his phone even though before he swore up and down he wasn't saving anything and he is threatening me with them. Fuck me, I'm so fucking stupid. I hope he won't do anything. I've apologized to him and all so he feels like a big boy and calms down. Why am I like this, anons? Just wanted a friend.

No. 538344

>>538337
ignore it he cant do shit. hes pathetic

No. 538357

No idea if this qualifies as an actual vent but I find dilated pupils disgusting, they genuinely make me feel like gagging. I know some people who are on some meds that dilate their pupils, I usually am all about eye contact but with them I try my best to be polite but it freaks me out. Am I fucking retarded.

No. 538371

I’ve been on accutane for months, and I am over it.
I am over it! I want to drink! I want my antidepressants back! I don’t want to use gallons of lotion, sunscreen, and lip balm anymore! I don’t want to pee every three seconds!

No. 538373

>>538357
It's 5 am and this made me audibly laugh.

No. 538374

Seeing so many people complain that they can't get stuff done during the quarantine because of online classes makes me think that this is the reason why I've always been doing shit in university in general.

I went to a private high school there we had classes til the evening and during those times I always finished my assignments immediately. I literally did homework instead of eating during the short breaks because I absolutely didn't want to have stuff left to do it home.
I didn't move out for university, I only go to classes and then drive home immediately again (because I don't have friends), meaning it's nearly the same for me now as it was before corona. My room is not heated, so I'm usually sitting in our living room, my mom is always around me, chatting with me, so I can concentrate even less and then I'm also always on the internet instead of doing anything productive. My procrastinating is getting more and more out of hand, I have 2 papers due and I've written maybe 3 pages in a month. I could have finished them long ago and then have freetime, but instead I'm only uselessly sitting here and dreading it. I was a lot more productive when I was forced to work at school and when finishing all my work at school and only having freetime after that was possible.

No. 538377

>>538373
You are welcome dear anon! Maybe i'll get sunglasses for these people or just close my eyes

No. 538385

>>538344
I hope you're right, anon. I'm just so exhausted and worried. I finally left all the thotty things behind just as I turned 18 and yet it's still haunting me.
He doesn't know any of my friends or family so I hope nothing happens.
Even worse is that my fam is muslim and would absolutely kill my ass.

No. 538387

>>535754
I had a coworker who was in her 40s and with 5 children tell me that all people from asia (arabs, indians, vietnamese, filipinos) look alike and I had to be like…. "Oh I get it" even though I didn't and it was my first day so I wasn't about to throw hands. I went and told my ethnic mom about it and she strangely defended her?!?! Does anyone else have ethnic parents who defend the H-White people?

No. 538399

File: 1586345855654.png (407.57 KB, 420x374, stupidbitch.PNG)

I vented this in the past vent thread but I hate myself for liking this guy I met from a dating app. He actively likes my pictures on one of the social media and he only ever calls if he wants to do some freaky shit and I just keep dodging it.

But like a clown I keep getting excited when he messages me or just likes my pics

No. 538411

I stayed deliberately single for the last 4 years for personal development but now I'm getting involved with a guy and I'm so out of practice that all I do is over-analyse EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING WE DO, SAY, OR TEXT and I really really hate it because I'm 15 all over again.

No. 538423

Vent/question because I'm frustrated, but can anyone recommend somewhere to post porn drawings? Just to get myself out there because if I keep waiting to improve, I'll end up never posting anything.
I'm annoyed with myself because drawing porn is what I really want to do but I don't even know where to post. Stupid

No. 538428

>>538423
usually i do twitter and put it privatter. theres another website that japanese twitter uses but i forgot what its called but i remember that it starts with a p. i hope this helps a little

No. 538433

>>538428
Is it pixiv?

No. 538459

>>538433
Ahh no but it has the words pop in it. It acts like privatter but better i think. If you dont wanna go through all that pixiv sounds good as well

No. 538464

I've gained what feels like a ton of weight during this stupid quarantine shit and I can hardly function because I feel like such complete garbage about it. I can't sleep at night because it's so hot but I also can't bring myself to wear shorts and a t-shirt. It makes me really feel the excess fat on my body and then I start crying. I have a history of BDD and ED and I know I'm just being insane and I should just start going for a run daily and the problem will be fixed but I just feel so worthless I want to kms I can't do this!!!!!!

No. 538469

>>538464
Hey, anon, you’ll be alright. Lockdown makes it easy to gain weight, but it can make it easy to lose weight as well (I personally struggle to lose weight when I’m working full time for example, it’s easier when I have time off). You can pull it back and get into good habits. I would suggest prioritising getting better sleep, though, because you’ll find it harder to lose weight if you’re constantly sleep deprived, so a little bit of short term discomfort will make you feel way better in the long run.
Just don’t panic! The sun is shining, you’ve got all the time in the world. I’m rooting for you!

No. 538482

>>538469
; -; thanks anon, I really needed to hear that. My biggest setback when I gain weight is always the panic. It's hard to remember it doesn't have to be permanent. I hope you're meeting your goals in quarantine, too.

No. 538488

File: 1586362023412.png (132.63 KB, 500x282, 3cd8a33a.png)

Bernie dropped out and now I'm disappointed as fuck. The US won't see any real progress again probably until I'm a middle aged or retired old woman.

No. 538494

>>538488
Was about to post a very similar vent, feel like absolute shit. I can't believe we are literally down to blue rapist vs red rapist now.

No. 538496

>>538488
What the fuck, just hearing about this. Now i'm even sadder than before.

No. 538499

>>538488
What's worse is 4 more years of that orange jackass, literally no one will vote for Biden

No. 538503

>>538197
so far, the rest of this semester and summer semester. i'm almost sure fall semester will also be online where i live

No. 538504

>>538488
It's gonna play out like last election. All the msm and hardcore Dems will RAH RAH for Biden as if he's electable (just like Clinton), but all the votes are gonna go to the Reps and Trump. Meanwhile the younger generations are so disenfranchised that they're not gonna show up to the ballot at all, meaning we might not even get the "blue wave" in the House and Senate like everyone hoped for at least, assuring Trump still has his tard powers.
This spells four more years of Trump. I'll be a good sport and vote but if it is indeed Trump again I'm DONE. The bumpkins and the rich can have this wasteland country. A shame the poor and uneducated couldn't follow suit like me because I think it'd be awfully hard for the ones in power to function without their indentured slaves.

No. 538506

>>538337
leak your own nudes first
>>538357
lmao you would hate me
>>538488
who else is not voting for either rapist. i'm writing in sanders even though it makes virtually no difference

No. 538509

>>538506
Check your state. Write ins can be valid votes but some states won't recognize a write in candidate in which case then your vote is useless. That's why I couldn't vote Bernie last time.

No. 538510

>>538488
I didn’t even get a primary to vote in cause of covid, the least I can hope for it getting trump and Biden. Biden funeral city 2020

No. 538512

>>538488
i'm so depressed i knew he didn't have high chances of winning but now we're in for four more years of fucking bullshit. so many people are going to fucking die because both trump and biden are fucking brainless.

No. 538513

>>538510
jesus that's horrible. how are they not prepared for something like this? that goes for the whole country actually

No. 538516

>>538513
Different anon but I didn't get to vote either. I thought that would be retarded during a covid crisis. I thought government might be decent and postpone voting for that reason but no.
This election is corrupt.

No. 538517

>>538516
Jesus that sucks. i feel like a good handful of trump supporters turned out to vote if they still think the pandemic is a democratic hoax or whatever. so….fuck

No. 538525

>>538513
Ayrt, I’m really super bummed because I’m 19 so this was going to be my first election lol and I couldn’t wait to go out there and make my vote count, my state postponed our primary until June I think? But now there’s no candidates, and I probably won’t vote in the general election either unless there’s a really good reason why Biden would be better than Trump. People complain about the youth not turning out to vote but I want so badly to be politically involved, but all we get handed is absolutely shit candidates.

No. 538526

>>536094
Lmao sounds like all the same self victimization arguments people here make for the actions of flakes. Fuck her anon, she isn't the victim. Shes sorry she got caught and she was nasty as fuck to you.

No. 538552

>>538525
You should still vote for the house of representatives and the senate. Not to mention your local governments. There's other things to vote for besides presidency.
If we can get Dems in the house and the senate then that will inhibit Trump's shenanigans at least a fair bit more than if nobody voted and we keep the status quo.

No. 538556

>>538552
Oh I should clear up I did vote in the midterms last year! I was just excited for a presidential election… much more memorable than checking D boxes for my blue state while living in a red area.

No. 538560

File: 1586376521149.jpg (296.08 KB, 720x720, original.jpg)

Hate how my dad keeps talking shit about me and my mom when he is talking to my older brother on the phone who still refuses to help us or even give a single penny to us.at least my mom is supportive and understanding unlike the old bastard I have of a dad,he keeps rambling on how I'm not capable of living alone or having a stable life,I swear I need to abandon him forever,I hate pretending that I actually like him in which I don't
I hate my shit family

No. 538602

i hate my workplace. it's riddled with toxic positivity and backstabbing.

No. 538607

File: 1586385469393.png (188.92 KB, 640x409, yp-5.png)

>made a post on social media asking friends if they'd like a penpal
>seemed like a good idea that might cheer them up
>delete it a minute later after realizing people are gonna be freaked out to even touch paper because of covid and I'll get no responses

I didn't really think it through but I'm depressed after realizing. I just wanted to do something nice, and hoped it would make me feel a bit better too.

No. 538614

I'm grateful to be where I am in life and I know I have it a lot better than some people right now, but goddamn I'm so, so fucking stressed.
I know how some of you all feel about marriage/men in general, but I'm fucking pregnant and was so god damn happy to finally start this stupid beautiful stable loving family I always wished I had because I'm a selfish bitch like that. But our financial stability is falling apart right now and it scares the shit out of me. I'm lucky to have a wfh call center job right now, but I want to fucking quit this shit. Even 15 hours over the weekend is making me want to punch a hole in the wall and scream. All these fucking boomers calling in about the dumbest stupidest shit because they can't stop consuming for a second. The call volume just keeps fucking growing too. It fucking pisses me off to hear them babble and rant on and on about inane shit and using me as an emotional punching bag / free psychiatrist when I haven't even been able to go see a doctor yet. I'm in my God damn fucking 2nd trimester. By the time we were going to schedule my 1st visit, all this shit started to hit the hospitals around us and they get pissed waiting an hour on the phone for something they don't even need to call about. I'm thankful my pregnancy hasn't had any red flags and (on the surface level) seems to be going okay because I just can't risk going to one of these hospitals around here. But holy shit I just want to fucking know it actually is all OK. We qualify for medicaid now and I'm hoping to be accepted soon so I can have something in place if something goes wrong… How can everything just go to shit so fast…. I don't regret being pregnant, I just wish I was pregnant during a different time… I feel like an idiot feeling antsy and impatient during December/January when if I had just waited we could've avoided all this stress…

No. 538617

>>538488
it's such bullshit but i lost all hope on super tuesday. these people are too stupid for their own good. love "we want change, not a revolution". that's seriously a thing dems are/were saying. what does that even mean? bernie's ideas are as revolutionary as a basket of puppies, anyways. the minute the checks are actually doled out, trump's win will be secured. trump has already been railing about biden's dementia and social security freeze. he has no chance.

No. 538625

My best friend if 13 years just threatened suicide to get me to lend her money. I'm gonna do it anyway because I don't want her to be on the streets, but I wish she would just ask without the manipulative bullshit. I would have said yes anyway, it would have just made me feel less uncomfortable.

No. 538640

my low ass wage (after removing taxes, etc) makes less than the total of 2k the canadian goverment is giving out to people who lost their jobs. I know I shouldn't be complaining, and feeling thankful I am still employed, but it sucks to work 40 hour weeks and get less money than people who have more free time to self improve and do chores at home. Maybe im just an asshole though

No. 538647

>>538640
You're not an asshole, I'd be raging in your position. Not at the unemployed people and not really even at the govt, it's just a shitty way for things to work out.

Honestly, I'd happily take a few hundred dollars pay cut if I got to do nothing instead of work with no questions asked.

No. 538648

>>538640
It's how I feel too anon. Why do 'essential workers' get paid pennies when people are getting paid more to stay at home? If we're essential, where is our fucking hazard pay?

No. 538654

Almost certain I just got scammed trying to buy something on a resale app and I feel so goddamn stupid. It felt fishy the entire time and I just went with it. And I probably won’t be able to get my money back because they wanted payment through Apple Pay outside the app. Should have stopped all communication right there. Don’t want to tell anyone because I’m so fucking embarrassed at myself. Just an expensive mistake I won’t make again I guess. At least it wasn’t so much money that it’ll affect me too negatively.

No. 538673

>>536834
wow, are you me anon because I'm going through the same thing. sucks cuz he has most of the qualities I'm looking for in a person rn (long hair, super into history, hates scary movies, loves animals, caring as FUCK, etc)
I just want to get back into dating, anons

No. 538683

>>538654
why aren't you just buying on ebay? i won't buy anything outside of paypal for additional protection. can you not initiate a chargeback?

No. 538691

File: 1586402146253.jpeg (23.09 KB, 601x695, A154532A-970F-4397-ABC8-4AA652…)

I have a problem. I applied for a position at a law enforcement agency and I got it but the captain suggested I try another position because they needed more people in that area. I’ve never done it before but I said why not, I’ll give it a try.
It’s been two days of training and I can’t see myself doing it. It’s way more stressful than the position I wanted and I’m not ready to take the responsibility of helping save peoples lives.
Problem is I told my family and everyone keeps saying “you only been there two days you’ll get it “ and it’s true I just started but I got to see the work they do everyday and it’s ALOT. Everyone wants me to keep going but I didn’t want that position in the first place. I’m just sad because my dad was really excited about all this, and I don’t wanna disappoint him and have everyone think I’m a quitter but I have no desire to do this job. I just wanna go the original position I applied for.

No. 538692

>>535754
How scientifically supported is dream interpretation. For the past month I have had horrific nightmares that are extremely realistic. I don't mind nightmares and actually enjoy them in a weird way, but these have been so terrifying. I wake up crying or extremely depressed.

No. 538696

>had a best friend in high school
>both shy and awkward but had same sense of humour. she made school awesome
>she moved to university 2 hrs away and made loads of new friends and blossomed
>I visit once, barely get to talk to her she's so popular
>just sort of have to hang out with all her new mates
>we all go clubbing, pretending to have fun. have a moment where I look over at her dancing and having the time of her life and realising we're world's apart
>i go home to where I lived with my parents. stagnated, became even more shy and isolated, no friends at uni
>she falls out of touch very quickly
>fastforward to me, a 28 year old, crying because I looked her up on Facebook today 9 years later and saw she got married
>still no friends

She looks so happy on her wedding pics. I wish I could have been a part of it. I wish we didn't drift apart :(

No. 538708

>>538696
Ouch. This one hurt… you're not alone, hang in there. Why not reach out to her? If you're still thinking about her, she must of been important to you. And at least if she rejects you for whatever reason, you'll know for sure she isn't worth your time.

No. 538718

File: 1586406286416.jpg (698.04 KB, 1232x1354, tumblr_076e2ebb1c189b69bade8ea…)

I just saw one of my ex friends now have a switch and start playing games that i wanted to play and i felt like shit. Purchasing a switch is one of my goals this year and due to the pandemics i cant really get out and find a job rn and have to stay home dealing with uni work. Turns out im the one with the shitty life not the way around like i always thought, it looks like im loosing already and im the one that kept dwelling in the past not her. Sometimes i just wish things were better but they never seem to be.

No. 538726

>>538683
Bottom line is I was stupid. I’m going to try to initiate a chargeback tomorrow but I’m not optimistic since it was outside any vendor site or app.

No. 538734

>>538718
I hope you can do something nice for yourself soon. I don't think your problem is a lack of a switch, please try to address whatever it is that is actually dragging you down.
Also block that ex friend, it's not worth stalking people you used to know.

No. 538752

>>535754
Just finished crying hysterically for an hour for no real reason at all besides feeling hopeless and unimportant. I feel like I have no control over my life, and wish it would end sooner than later honestly. I felt like this 5 years ago, feel like it now, and will feel like it in 5 years most likely.

No. 538762

>>538718
Why does it feel like you're losing to her? Don't base your worth on other people's lives. Especially if they've already moved on. Block her for your own sanity, I promise it's worth it. Out of sight out of mind.

No. 538776

Well I know I can't be the only one who thinks this way? I don't get people tinfoiling that covid is some huge false flag for the governments to switch to Orwellian measures to control the populace.
I'm sorry but even before covid, were we not already in that sort of hell? Look guys, if I wanted to disappear off the radar I legally couldn't because I'd be hunted down over debts. Look I don't care that some country bumpkin could hold up in a cabin in the woods, the majority of the population live in city centers and suburban sprawls and there's no way we could all get out of dodge unnoticed. Effectively trapped in the system. We are already slaves to consumerism. Consumerism is so embedded in our cultural attitude that to not partake in consumer culture is seen as being weird if not boring. If you're not spending money, thereby making someone else richer, you're not interesting. In fact, I'd argue covid is bad for governments because preventative measures against it hurt consumerism, which is why governments like the US dragged it out for so long with half measures for everyone's safety until it was much too late. All for money and power. No doubt that post-covid the government is going to try to pull retroactive shenanigans to encroach on civilian rights, but in the meantime it can't be good for them. The pro certainly didn't outweigh the con here. Too many rich people are taking a hit for it to have been purposeful. We were under the government's thumb with consumerism, if they wanted a more controlled way to hurt our rights then they would've just started another war, we were overdue for a WWIII don't cha know? Fuck maybe they will have the gall to fire up the war machine just because of covid and convince a bunch of scared and ill citizens that it's justified.

This is a plane crash in a slow motion nosedive and we're the lucky pilots who get to see the oncoming ground before we crash into it. That's why it's so amusing when people think we haven't already been living in 1984 for them to think population control isn't already a thing just because it's not blatantly in their faces, like China's social points system for instance.

No. 538789

>>538776
God I don't feel bad for retards like you.
>I'm sorry but even before covid, were we not already in that sort of hell?
Yeah I'm sure people thought like that after 9/11, and then after Edward Snowden whistleblew our own government, and after the vault 0 leaks. This is all real shit whether you like it or not. Are you going to ignore the fact several world leaders downplayed COVID-19 and the sudden investments in online education? Like are you aware of how bad things really are or do you just gloss through life with a blue screen while you watch netflix all day? Research arab spring, don't doubt for a fucking second that people won't take your rights away if they can. A lot of people have already lost their sex based rights and freedom of speech.

No. 538792

>>538776
>I'm sorry but even before covid, were we not already in that sort of hell?
An Orwellian hell, no. A Brave New World, yes.

No. 538795

>>538696
I feel you anon… All of my (former) friends have pretty much perfect lives, super pretty, super smart and super popular, while I'm a social recluse who still lives at my parents, I also didn't make a single friend in university, I don't go out,… I'm a bit younger than you but all of them are always dating, so it won't be long until they start to get married too. I don't even know if I would want to go if invited, because then I'd feel even more like a loser in comparison to them.

No. 538796

Last year a friend of 5 years fucked me over in the worst way possible and I still can't come to terms with it.
After guilt tripping me into inviting her on my partner and I's overseas trip which we had been tirelessly saving and looking forward to, she completely ruined the whole thing.
If she wasn't being a disrespectful turd towards the locals, she was demanding attention 24/7 from us, or any other english speaking foreigners we met.
She likes to think of herself as some kind of aspiring instathot so this trip to her was just some photoshoot opportunity which I had said multiple times I did not want to be involved with.
Throughout the trip she increasingly got ruder and ruder towards me and my partner, and was acting like a complete ignorant spoilt brat. My grandmother suddenly got sick while I was on the trip and passed away a few days later and this girl still made everything about herself and didn't even bother to check up to see if I was ok.
A few days later, things culminated in her locking my partner and I outside of our accommodation at 4am, in 8 degrees celcius weather for an hour, after my partner called her out on her attention seeking and bratty behavior and she then tried to hit him and screamed in his face in the middle of a busy street earlier that evening. She then went on instagram and posted about us being "boolies" and alcoholics (we were on holiday, drinking normal holiday amounts). Once we were able to finally get inside and grab our things, we left and got our own place but she continued to message me, trying to gaslight me and turn me against my partner, and then after I blocked her, she messaged me on a secret account of hers and continued to bash us on her main profile. That was the last interactions I had with her but I occasionally check her instagram and still see her posting passive aggressive posts alluding to me being an "unsupportive fake friend" (ie. being honest and telling her not to do embarrassing offensive shit in foreign countries)
Anyway, I know it wasn't my fault and at the end of the day, I didn't really do anything wrong, but I still have so much anger about what had happened.
She displays textbook narc symptoms so maybe it's not entirely her fault, but she's literally one of the most evil people I've ever met. If you could lock your friend out in the middle of the night in a foreign country, what the fuck is wrong with you???
Lately in iso I keep thinking about the whole trip and getting so angry about how it turned out and I just want something bad to happen to her in retaliation lol
Sorry for really long rant….

No. 538801

>>538776
Patriot Act 2.0 incoming anon, if you already think it’s bad now, think again. It is well known tactic that when the country is busy with a crisis, shit bills get slyly passed, see USA Freedom Reauthorization Act 2020. Even if it doesn’t turn Orwellian right away, things like military-enforced lockdown or restriction on gun sale will set precedents that may be used in problematic way.

No. 538828

I am really fucking sick and tired of seeing these munchies and ana-chans bitching about how rough things are with the covid-19 quarantine. Please.. shut the fuck up while us in the necessary fields work 50+ hours a week to keep up with the need. Or the people not in necessary fields that are fucking jobless and rightfully freaking out over paying bills.
Your attention seeking bullshit needs to take a back seat. You have people sick, dying, overworked, and some nurses and doctors and other healthcare workers are quarantined from their families. They actually want to be home with their children, spouses, parents.. but no, they have to live at work to provide for the family they cannot see and do real and lasting good for everyone. You have waitress, people in the service industry all facing what can be 2 months of no income. (1200 stimulus won't cover shit fyi). This might just end some careers, some people's clientele could just vanish. But nooooooooooo It's all poor me.. muh ed, muh faked illness. Whaaa.


I feel better. Thanks.

No. 538831

>>538828
Fuck yeah anon

No. 538833

>>538708
Thank you so much for replying. She was incredibly important to me and stopped me from caring what other's thought after years of bullying. I think I'll have to message her, it's scary but closure is really needed at this point. Thank you <3

>>538795
Ugh I'm sorry anon. The world wasn't made for introverts and I always need to remind myself of this. We aren't defective, we just get worn out easier, socially.

The sting for me was that she was the only friend I needed and had capacity for, and I thought she was the same. We were both shy nerds. But she ended up with so many friends, probably that she liked more than me. I was just one of many many friends and wasn't as loud and fun as everyone else. Sucks

No. 538835

>>538776
Don’t think covid is a conspiracy but for sure govs and companies are going to take complete advantage of the situation at large

No. 538846

>>538789
Why are you so aggressive? The post literally says they believe the government will try to use covid to hurt our rights.

No. 538850

The quarantine turned my sister into a conspiracy theorist…it’s always people with absolutely nothing to worry about falling for crazy shit while everyone else struggles on

No. 538868

I rent a room in this lady's house with 5 other people and I'm the only one still employed. I hate having to get up and go to work everyday while everyone else just lays around all day. Nobody fucking cleans, but me and this bitch went to each one of them and told them they can stay rent free until this covid thing "blows over", but comes to me and goes, "I really need the money. Could you pay a little extra this month?" Bitch what?! Fuck off! I know they all got laid off and can't afford shit, but I'm not picking up their slack anymore! Fuck this! Looking for a new place to live

No. 538875

>>535754
moved out about a month ago without letting my mother know. She has a mental illness that became unbearable to deal with for me and she is not aware of it in the slightest. I've been dealing with police for her cause she did something irrational or I've had to search for hear in the street at 3am, all that kinda bullshit. My brother is still with her and he won't tell her that I moved and keeps asking to tell her in a call or come visits over the weekends (glad covid is a good excuse not to visit). I'm unable to speak to my mother on the phone, I become speechless when I get confronted with her. As depressing as isolation can get, I cannot handle her company.
I'm also ignoring someone from my university who is supposed to help me with uni work. I regret signing up for this shit. It's not helpful at all and I find that guy working with me to have the personality of a slice of toast. I hate the thought of having to spend an hour with him talking about fuck nothing. Our sessions are almost over but the thought of having to do a session with this person makes me feel despair and irritation each time. This is so unnecessarily mentally draining, I should probably text him that I was to quit.

No. 538879

>>538868
Jesus how cruel of them. What even does that lady need the money for? It better be essentials.
Fuck this, you work for yourself, not to pay for the lives of other people and clean their shit.

No. 538895

File: 1586445312966.png (1.67 MB, 1366x768, germany.png)

was watching this video on youtube and this guy is totally my type.
also we're the same age. fuck, i hate guys in my country so much

No. 538898

>>538895
same anon, I have a crush on a guy from a 1960's PSA

No. 538899

File: 1586446067422.jpg (52.03 KB, 854x480, Eric.jpg)

This is the man of my dreams btw

No. 538903

File: 1586446270327.jpg (54.09 KB, 854x480, Eric_2.jpg)


No. 538905

>>538895
>i hate guys in my country so much
Anon your standards are seriously low, he looks like a druggie who hasn't slept in ages and will very likely age horribly. Where do you live so that guys are even less attractive than that…?

No. 538906

>>538696
If it helps, you're not alone. I'm the same way. 27, still at home, no friends, can't finish uni.

No. 538908

File: 1586446760398.jpg (33.98 KB, 500x665, 569857321c4658a617ff8ec5a09d47…)

My dad passed away. It was on may 28th 2019. I was asleep when it happened, my mom and my brother came into my room and i told them I just wanted to sleep. I was surprised that they didn't say anything and actually left the room.

I came downstairs like usual, tried to jumpscare my mom as it's in my my rituals, but when she saw me she broke down and started crying, telling me that I will have to be strong. Didn't take me long to realise what had happened. I've been preparing myself for it ever since I was a child, as he had been battling with cancer before I was even born. Saw him getting strokes after strokes, but always coming out on top and being sassy about it. What a man. A shitty pervert and pathological liar, but still someone I loved dearly.

It was the hardest day, if weeks of my life. I was devastated. Our life had been rough before, my mom had to resort to cocaine and I felt like a useless sack of shit, being a drop out with no degrees and extreme social anxiety, I couldn't help her financially. I wanted to die, but I couldn't do that to her. So i went on.

Our life suddenly started to change after a month. I got therapy, made friends, became popular and even got my first boyfriend, I gained so much confidence and feel like a new person. My mom started out a restaurant, and it's highly successful, we're now living comfortably in a new spacious house- I got a job, I go to parties… I feel happy, truly. I'm glad i stuck through.

there's a lot of things i still need to work on, sure, but I'm proud of what i've become. If I ever get to finish my degree, i'd love to pursue higher education in psychiatry. I want to help others, I really do.

No. 538914

>>538908
i wish crazy retards like you would stop going into psychiatry, but what can you do.

No. 538915

>>538895
>>538905
>looks like a druggie who hasn't slept in ages

He's cute, and that's a cute look. Anon is a woman of taste

No. 538918

Looks like Charlie Sheen vs Richard Gere lol

>>538895
idk man, looks like every ungroomed white guy that you could find everywhere in the west or eastern euro
where do you live?

No. 538923

>>538915
>>538918
These are the women who are attracted to skater punk types in the 2000's, but sadly live in era where skate culture died off

No. 538926

>>538868
Wow what scumbags. This is why I hate roommates with strangers so fucking much. They always pull selfish shit like that. Sorry anon.

No. 538930

A few weeks ago I laughed when so many people were freaking out about the quarantine and social distancing, but suddenly it has hit me hard too.

No. 538935

I seriously need help with my mental health. I never had a psychologist or psychiatrist to determine my issues but i haven't felt like myself in years.
I just feel hollow? I don't wanna die but i also don't want to continue my life like this.
Nothing gives me excitement or joy anymore and i feel completely lost and hopeless.
I refrain from diagnosing myself with depression but i wish i could get a formal diagnosis so at least the people around me would start taking me seriously when i open up to them.
I feel things would be different if i actually told them "Hey, doctors told me i have depression. I'm not lying. Here are my pills."
Aside from that, i'm really desperate to feel a bit more alive- whether it would be through medication or talk therapy…

No. 538937

I bought a dog for myself and she's registered on my name and my parents are trying to keep her from me and are saying it's not my dog
It pisses me off that they can't be respectful to me

No. 538943

>>538914
alright?
not sure why I'm a crazy retard, but at least I'm working towards something that I'd be proud of, and finally giving back to society. I may be naive, but I'm happy to have a goal nonetheless.

If you're worried about my mental stability and my capabilities to support others, I've never had to take medication and I didn't get anything more than high stress due to my situation at the time- my dad had just died- Something I got therapy on, managed to go through, and fought. It's behind me, and I'm thankful for it. Was that the problem?

No. 538945

>>538943
Ignore her Anon, she's a bitch.
Good on you for getting better and good luck.

No. 538949

>>538945
some anon, probably a scrot trying to stir up drama in /ot/, keeps taking normal posts about anons going through a hard time and gaslighting the anon or just straight up shitting on the anon

No. 538954

>>538937
Why do they feel like it's their dog? Like do they pay expenses for it or what?

No. 538961

>>538895
This guy looks like an old woman wtf anon. He has that slight femme model look about him but he's ugly. I'd let him eat my pussy if he had better hair tbh

No. 538966

My family hates me so much they'll jump on any reason to scream at me. Today I asked a family member not to do something legitimately gross and I got yelled at for "treating everyone like dogshit." I'm 19 and had to move back home from college and I can't move into my apartment until August. It's been almost a month here and I really don't know how I'm gonna last 4 1/2 more.

No. 538983

File: 1586457959843.jpeg (12.27 KB, 314x160, images (3).jpeg)

>>538966
They don't hate you, they just don't respect you as an individual. Which is why when you attempt to lay down boundaries ie. "Please don't do that thing that makes me uncomfortable," they get angry since they don't feel like they should adhere to what you want or need. I'm 28 and I still fight those kinds of battles with my parents because I didn't grow a spine against them until my mid 20s. They literally did and said whatever the fuck they wanted to me because, I quote "I'm the adult and you're the child." They hate it now when I tell them not to do something to me. My stepdad reeees and says I'm just like my mother (just to hurt me because she's a bitch and they're divorcing). My mother goes turbo victim while trying to guilt trip me and then goes hostile when that doesn't work. Back when I lived with my mom temporarily, she used to screech that she was a "prisoner in her own house" even though I never left my room if I wasn't working or visiting friends because of her constantly trying to fight me. She would whine about "walking on eggshells" around me because at 26 years old cause I told her how I don't like being questioned (more like interrogated) about what I ate, where I'd been, or who I'd seen whenever I went out. She'd violate this over and over until one day I'd snap from having to repeat my boundary for the millionth time and that's when she'd get seething angry. It wasn't her business and it still isn't, but that doesn't matter to a parent who sees their adult children as extensions of themselves that they control.

No. 538988

I have felt the same way you did and always refrained from self diagnosing. One day I jsut grabbed the phone and called in at my GP's office. I felt really stupid but I told them I wanted to talk about possible depression and anxiety. They were extremely nice and asked if it was urgent etc. Everyone including my GP turned out to be really nice. He also gave me a referral for therapy and checks up on me once in a while.
It's a step you need to take anon.

No. 538989

>>538935
>>538988
fuck, I meant to quote this

No. 538991

>>538954
They pay for the food but only because I don't have a driver license to get to a store and they don't tell me how much it costs nor accept money from me
I pay for her insurance and I got her, for me, so now I feel pretty fed up and don't even feel like spending time with her anymore because I'm so pissed off about them wanting to own her and not letting me be the owner I should be

No. 539013

>>538833
Good luck and stay positive, and it's never too late to let someone know how much they meant to you. I think people are happy to hear how much they meant to someone once upon a time, more often than not. But the biggest point is YOLO… even though that expression is a meme

No. 539031

I hate how my mom refuses to take social distancing seriously and thinks her herbs are going to protect her from corona.

No. 539037

>>538908
>psychiatry
>I want to help others
Pick one.

No. 539044

I keep reading online about Lowes giving employees a break this Easter Sunday because of stress from coronavirus. They are getting tons of good press about it. So, guess who is scheduled to work on Sunday at 8 p.m.? This fucking bitch. Yeah, if you work the last shift it counts as Monday for some reason even though I clock in at 8 in the evening on Sunday. Fuck Lowes. I'm so fucking pissed, stop bragging about it to the news, it's all over as this great fucking thing, huh philanthropy. FUCK YOU.

No. 539091

>>537635
you're probably right, overthinking is a constant problem for me lol

>>537685
I did when I was younger (I'm 25 now) but looking bad I wonder if it was largely insecurity. My two previous heartbreaks were from people I knew deep down I couldn't be with. My current bf has been nothing but great and I have no fears that he'll flake out on me, which is a great thing of course.

I suspect that the distant nature of the previous guys made me insecure and thus clingy and inclined to romanticize the situation. I need to rewire my brain I'm pretty sure cause obviously that's unhealthy lol

No. 539103

>>539044
I'm going to presume you are american, but I would have assumed everything was closed there? I live in Uk and if it wasn't for the lock down, I wouldn't have had to go to work that day anyways.

No. 539107

>>538488
Trump is going to win and I'm so pissed. All I can hope that with covid and this election that Trump fucks over Boomers quicker that they fall over and die.

No. 539142

>>539044
kek anon I've been reading the same "giving the employees a break" thing about Target (I work at one). Except, we have literally ALWAYS closed on Easter!! Every year! Plus there are still going to be employees scheduled to zone and fulfill orders, so some of us won't be getting a break.

No. 539143

Hm. What if they know

No. 539164

One of my closest friend made his twitter into a "stan account" and I think she is so fucking annoying. We are both into koreaboo bullshit but I'm looking at the kind of stuff she likes and I get very bitter because is such a childish edgy humor. I know I'm being bitter but I can't help it.

No. 539169

>>539164
Did you have to post this in two threads at once, you care way too much about this person's twitter.

No. 539175

It doesn't happen a lot but sometimes when I do some kind of physical activity I get a persistent headache afterwards that doesn't go away with hydration, food, nor a nap.

No. 539179

i fucking hate when my parents overshare about their sex lives and what turns them on. especially since it's so one sided. if i say anything that even hints that i'm a sexual being i immediately feel dirty and like i just committed incest or something, and they always say it's so inappropriate. but they seem to have no problem oversharing in detail to me and i'm expected to just listen and give advice without it being known that it's advice based on my personal experience. and they get offended if i act offended. i'm an adult but is this even normal?

No. 539184

>>539179
That's not normal, my parents won't so much as make a dirty joke around me. It's weird as hell and inappropriate to subject relatives to that. Just refuse to listen to them, tell them to stop, walk away. You don't owe them your ear or a response at all, let alone being made to feel bad if you ever do it to them.

No. 539185

>>539179
If my parents told me what they liked in bed I would fucking vomit on the spot fam

No. 539188

>>539184
>>539185
ok thanks guys. i had a feeling it wasn't but i wasn't sure if i was overreacting or being uptight. i guess next time it happens ill just tell them that its not fair for them to tell me stuff like that when i'm not comfortable telling them similar things about myself.

No. 539190

>>539103
Yeah, I'm American. If you have a shit job it's not closed down on Easter Sunday. Just pisses me off that the place I work is getting tons of great press for giving workers a day off during the corona outbreak but I'm scheduled to work there that day. It's bullshit, I hope someone calls them out on it.

No. 539192

>>539179
There's a term for this anon, look up emotional incest. Whenever they do this to you get up and leave the room. You don't owe them comfort in lieu of yours.

No. 539194

it just occurred to me that after i graduate college (if i do, which i probably will despite everything) my life may become shittier instead of improving. i guess it really us on me to actively take my life into my own hands. And to deal with the consequences sooner than later, even if it means i might not be able to graduate. Maybe having a strong enough reason to just off myself will be better than the half dead life i'm leading right now. there's a chance things will be better and i'll wonder why i didn't do shit sooner, but i'm too stupid to figure that out. i don't have anyone i'm close to or trust enough to ask for advice. there are a lot of nice people in my life but i just don't know how to ask for the help i need. i don't even know what i want. being such an autist, they'd be confused. they'd make me feel retarded for worrying so much and making a big deal out of nothing (which is not completely wrong so of course i don't talk to anyone).

i've always just avoided confrontation or putting myself out there. just sat on my fat ass and spend all this time online. it's not terrible but god sometimes it comes back and it hurts. but then i go back to my bullshit until i'm crying silently again. funnily enough, now is the worst time to have this realization because i'll be stuck for months.

i'm doing shit in my classes because i already spend so much time online it doesn't feel real and so far away. one of my classes hasn't had regular lectures so i've done nothing for it and i'm going to fail. which would be fine, except there's a group project portion later and it may be too late to drop. hopefully i don't screw anyone else over.

i get why people go "gaming addiction? internet addiction? those are just laziness." but fuck i keep making these same decisions because i'm too scared to start living a real life.

No. 539195

I don’t want to go to sleep, the past week I’ve been having nightmares every night. Not even really scary dreams, just anxiety ridden ones where I’m back in school, haunted by ex friends and horrible memories, just replaying themselves. It’s fucking up my sleep schedule when I’m trying to keep some semblance of normality during the lockdown. I’m tired of my heart beating out my chest when I wake up. My subconscious is fucking out to get me.

No. 539198

i had to corona-cancel my wedding.

No. 539276

>>539175
You good on electrolytes?

No. 539355

Well it's happened, my stepdad's "essential" job as an electrician finally has his bosses telling him to stay home because he's under contract and the companies are halting projects they don't wanna pay for anymore.
I work mostly remote and was enjoying my space while he was still required to go to work, but not anymore. Now he hogs the living room in our two bedroom apartment, which shares the same kitchen area where I work. He takes the tv so I can't watch anything, and blares the worst midday shows such as that fucking Bar Rescue show with all the contrived drama with a thumb faced, loudmouthed fatass of a host who's constantly shouting at people like he's king all-knowing shit. I wouldn't care as much if dad was actually watching this stupid show but he SLEEPS all day on the couch! I can't make any noise, change the channel, or even get up to turn down the volume without his eyes suddenly peering awake to show his irritation that I live in this space too. He frequently smokes on the patio but leaves the door open which not only blows in humidity and makes the apartment hot, but also inches of tree pollen. He later complains that the apartment is dusty while not being able to comprehend that maybe it's due to the fact that he leaves the door open for several hours every day.

He's getting on my nerves in other ways. When it comes to chores he doesn't do shit, doesn't even put a sheet on his own bed despite being a grown man. The only thing he does consistently is take out the trash after he's let it build up where he coincidentally needs me to help cart it to the dumpster. He can dump his dishes in the sink and occasionally wash a pan he used. I can't even count on him to fully put dishes away from the dishwasher that I loaded because he plays dumb. "Oh I don't know where these things go.." So he leaves pots and pans and bullshit all over the kitchen for me to put away because he can't expend the effort to open the cupboards and look to see where things go like I fucking have to.
Whenever I want to be in the kitchen to cook food he suddenly decides he wants to make something to eat too because he can't wait his turn and gets in my fucking way. Not that he eats anything besides canned soup, sandwiches, pasta, and cereal because he has the palette of an eight year old, and gets pissy when I fix something nice for myself and asks where his is even though he rarely makes a delicious meal just for me (although he does for his creepy girlfriend he's not supposed to be visiting bc of the stay at home order). He leaves his leftovers in the fridge because he's both too guilted to throw them out himself and also too lazy to throw them out and wash the containers. He'll leave something in there for a week untouched and then immediately notices when I cave and throw it out.

I wish I could afford to live alone but nah. I'm always stuck with inconsiderate roommates, my crazy parents, or a bum of a boyfriend. It sucks.

No. 539356

>>539355
You just described my dad.

Try having a conversation to set boundaries and rules. I can't with my dad, he's too literally autistic, but I hope a mature conversation is the solution for you anon. I feel for you.

No. 539357

>>539198
Chris is that u

No. 539360

>>538988
Not that anon, but did you notice an improvement? I've been depressed for 5+ years now and would love to feel like me again. I have no self-compassion and am barely living

No. 539361

This petty as fuck but I'm so tired of pet-people spamming their animal pics on our work slack. They all have pets, they do not need to see each others' pets for "mental health support". It's literally the same as when people spam pictures of their useless babies. They're cute but why do I have to sift through pictures of your pet at work??? I can google better pictures of cuter pets literally any time I want.

Nobody. Fucking. Cares.

No. 539367

>>539361
completely agree, i'm sick of seeing it and sick of people encouraging it at work.

No. 539372

>>539361
You just gotta spam a pet that they don't like to send a message. My shitty cousins were similar, always spamming pictures of their ugly mutts and bringing them to every family function where they ruined things because their mutts weren't trained and were spoiled.
I got a pet snake and started to share pictures and bring him with me places. OUT OF NOWHERE my pet, who didn't even make noise or smell, was a problem because they were afraid lmao. It taught them a lesson though, like maybe their aggressive pitbull who drooled and chewed on everything plus their disfigured pug who wheezed every second weren't appreciated either.

No. 539411

>>539372
was your snake not stressed when you were hauling it with you?

No. 539414

>>539411
Nah, as long as you got a place where they can hide like a hood or a box they're about as secure as home. Dogs are way more prone to stress in social situations but no one gives a shit about that.

No. 539419

>>539414
Why are you bringing up dogs lmfao
I asked because I don't know anything about reptiles and I vaguely remembered something about them being scared and uncomfortable when moved or touched by people. I also thought you were carrying your snake like Britney Spears performing I Am A Slave 4 U. Anyway thanks for explaining to me!

No. 539427

>>539419
Because my story contained dogs and I thought that would be an appropriate contrast, no doubt half the reason why my cousin's dogs acted out so much was because they were malsocialized and stressed out. But yeah, reptiles are really easy pets to care for as long as the owners have a baseline of consideration. Not that I haven't seen some shitty pet owners doing that Brittney Spears thing in public.

No. 539443

i had to move w/ my parents bc i had a mental breakdown and now im stuck with them during this pandemic and they're forcing me to fast even though im severely dehydrated. neat

No. 539455

I really hate how easily I cry, it's so embarrassing. I'm on the verge of tears constantly over literally nothing, even when I'm doing well. Meds were the only thing that helped but the side effects were awful

No. 539467

um i stupidly took a bunch of pills and wondering when/if i'll fucking die n i feel like a piece of shit cuz i told my sister n ruined her night cuz she's already been through too many deaths w other loved ones n i'm stupidly making this abt me and being such a shit sister that i genuinely wanna take more pills cuz i can't face her in the morning n i have to work n she said if i don't tell my parents how suicidal n depressed i am when i'm home from work then she will but my parents r narcissists n they'll only make this abt themselves n i kinda hope i just die in my sleep so i don't have to face any consequences of my actions how horrible is that??? god i need help but my actions just reinforces my feelings that i'm so horrible everyone is better off without me n that i should just die even tho i know i have ppl who love n care abt me my stupid shit brain is like haha do it, so i took all these pills n hurt

No. 539471

>>539467
Call an ambulance, and don't take more pills.

No. 539475

>>539467
anon please go to the hospital. You're feeling guilt/shame about this but your sister probably just wants you to be ok. It's also ok if things are about you sometimes.

No. 539476

>>539467
>not even saying what you took
Ok

No. 539493

The influx of a certain demographic of users from a certain wave of a certain movement has made this site so much more xenophobic, ignorant and tone deaf regarding race that it’s just draining and depressing to use now (among other reasons)

No. 539499

>>539493
God, so much of this, I posted once about considering moving out to Europe (where my FAMILY is from) and got hurled all sorts of disgusting comments.

No. 539500

>>539493
what movement? what happened?

No. 539505

>>539499
I see so much ignorant and tone deaf bullshit and you can’t even avoid it because ~the demographic~ can’t stick to their containment thread and derail constantly with their stupid world view. That movement has the demographics it does for a reason like jesus they’re just so one note and have such a one dimensional, self centred view of the world

No. 539507

>>539500
You can’t tag posts in the vent thread and I can’t really expand without it being derailing or racebait. I don’t get how what I mean isn’t obvious though.

No. 539508

>>539500
Pink pill

No. 539519

>>539493
this. 2 years ago it was fine, but now all of /ot/ is a clusterfuck. i used to enjoy this board much more, it was more chill and like laid back but now half the posts are those posters, who have a huge chip on their shoulder and have to shoehorn their beliefs in every post.

No. 539545

>>539493
I totally agree anon. It’s exhausting seeing all the nitpicking and freaking out over anything that doesn’t exactly fit their worldview.

No. 539548

>>539508
She talks about race, I don't see how pink pill is racist.

No. 539550

>>539548
Then I have no idea what you're talking about

No. 539553

>>539493
It's hard to tell if it's a raid or it's just the users of this imageboard acting like absolute retards per usual

No. 539561

>>539553
I think there is maybe a raid going on rn but I’m talking about something that has been going on for like a year or so. I don’t know if people even notice it because a lot of people just seem completely ignorant but if you are a person of colour you really see it a lot, a lot of posts from this demographic literally read like alt right/ cryptofacist posts and the actions presently and historically of this movement is totally racially thoughtless and honestly antagonistic and oppressive but they think they’re being progressive and we have to do nothing about it and let them shit up every thread because there’s ‘nowhere else for them on the Internet uwu' or something. It’s always so self centred and one dimensional, this site used to be so much more open minded, so much more tolerant and conducive to discussion, it makes me genuinely sad because I have such a nostalgic attachment to this site

No. 539567

>>539561
There were some straight up nationalists on the COVID thread too, I was just baffled at all the border control and nationalism talk like it was a positive thing. Have we straight up just regressed to the 1940's??

No. 539570

>>539567
I saw that too, I totally agree it was baffling

No. 539573

>>539548
The actual pp thread civilly discusses race with how it pertains to sexism, they're basing it off of that one anon in meta crying about being banned for racebaiting.

No. 539574

>>539573
You have no idea what I’m talking about, especially if you think that. I wasn’t even thinking of that post. What I’m saying isnt even a new or unique criticism. It’s been said as long as the movement has existed and it’s still more true than ever. Like I said you have the demographics you have for a reason.

No. 539578

>>539574
Okay and what does that have to do with the board? Raids and racebaiting isn't exactly an unheard of concept when it comes to imageboards, you really just sound like you're scapegoating.

No. 539580

>>539578
The problem is that OT has always been a pretty progressive board, aside from OBVIOUS scrote raids we never had problems like that until very recently.

No. 539582

>>539578
>>539580

The fact that you even in the vent thread you can’t just fuck off and have to come here to post about how my experience with these people and this worldview is wrong and actually doesn’t happen and is actually just a scrote raid.l blah blah blah. If you don’t see it, or you think it’s a recent thing, that’s on you (and it’s probably because it doesn’t affect you and you’re totally blind to it)

No. 539586

>>539581
I never said it was untrue, I asked how that was relevant to a forum format that is already susceptible to racism, but okay.

No. 539593

>>539586
Because it’s very obvious when a post is made by this demographic based off its content, buzzwords used, where it’s posted, and just the general fact that these people made no attempt integrate and stick out in every thread, and that a disproportional amount of these posts are xenophobic and tone deaf compared to the average post here (I’m more than aware racebaiting in general can happen in image boards), and that this problem has got significantly worse as the influx of these users on the board increased, and has existed consistently in the past few years, so isnt from any kind of ‘scrote raid’

No. 539598

I can't breathe when I think of her, I always end up having panic attacks.
I wish I told her how much I needed her, how I didn’t want her to die. Just three words, “please don’t die.” And she did anyways, it was pointless but it was the only think I could think of when I looked at her.
And now all I have left are these regrets and I know I will never have any more memories and the ones I’ve left never seem enough, it will never be enough.
And we never talked about it and there’s so many things I didn’t say and I won’t ever know if she knew it because she’s fucking dead and never coming back. No matter what I do or how I try to deal with it, I won’t ever listen to her voice again, I would never touch her back to see if she’s still breathing while we’re sleeping and I wish I could wake up from this nightmare but I can’t

No. 539600

>>539598

I'm really sorry for your loss, anon. Do you have a therapist or any sort of support system to help you cope with her passing?

No. 539602

>>539598
I’m so sorry for your loss and the pain you’re feeling, I sincerely hope you are able to find some kind of peace and comfort with time and will keep you in my thoughts. I hope you have people in your life who are able to support you - I wish you all the best

No. 539606

>>539567
Too much China hating (which is to be expected) and a lot of anti-american posts.

No. 539608

>>539600
>>539602
I’m a tearful mess right now but I want you to know you both talking to me made me stop my panic attack so I couldn’t be more grateful right now for your words. Thank you for being there when I’m convinced there’s nothing else, anons.

No. 539609

>>539573
It was implied that anon is a ppfag and they racebait in other threads. Pretty ironic since racebait gets blamed on raids and not insecure tradthots.

No. 539611

>>539608
I wish I could do more to help you or just give you a hug or something, please know you won’t feel this way forever and that things are never hopeless or lost even if it understandably seems that way right now

No. 539615

i just wanna go home but i am home

No. 539618

>>539609
Yeah and admin said ‘another’ implying it’s a frequent thing

>>539586
I’m not talking about the overt, cartoonish racism that happens on image boards more generally. It’s hard to expand without racebaiting.

No. 539628

>>539618
Is it a more sublte racism the one you are talking aobut?

No. 539629

at least they aren't posting child porn this time

>>539615
i feel you

No. 539631

>>539629
i know this isn't the stupid questions thread but why do they keep doing this aka spam this place with retarded shit? is there an actual reason why besides
>tfw triggered dem feminazis xd xd boys we did it xd desu desu

No. 539633

>>539628
Yes exactly, I’m not talking about edgy posts or people calling people slurs really because that’s kind of always been there and probably always will, I see a lot of posts that are just subtlety racist or just very ignorant/ uninformed or perspectives that come off dismissive and tone deaf

No. 539634

File: 1586574406316.gif (2.38 MB, 335x251, InferiorMeagerDowitcher-size_r…)

>>539633
lmfao check the pp thread

No. 539636

>>539573
from what I saw it mostly black women venting about black men and Indian women venting about Indian men, they weren't saying white men were superior or somehow better then the men of their race just specifically pointing out the problem they face against the men of their community

No. 539638

>>539634
Omg… I feel so vindicated. The thing is I want even talking about the thread as I never go in it, just the posts that leak out that I see frequently.

No. 539639

>>539636
>mostly black women
I'm sure black women refer to themselves as the biggest pickmes of any race. I remember on 2x there was a fixation with arab men. It's always another race of men but never white men so it really makes you think.

No. 539640

>>539639
Yeah tinfoil I know but I’m side eyeing a lot of ‘black woman here!!’ Posts on THIS site in a radfem board but who knows

No. 539641

>>539639
>>539640
…So do you guys think it was just white women larping as black women?

No. 539642

>>539640
This isn't even a radfem board anon. It's a drama board that has a few female oriented boards but it doesn't mean we have subscribe to the exact same cookie cutter beliefs.
>>539641
Nice strawman. This board shouldn't be political either way.

No. 539643

>>539642
Sorry I meant rad fem thread

No. 539645

>>539642
I'm genuinely asking because I don't know what's going on. The only ~racebait~ post I've seen is:
>You must be white. I don't mean that in anyway besides that ethnics deal with this in their communities on the daily. "Why is he marrying her? she's basic with brown eyes"

No. 539646

>>539639
That's one post out of dozens that aren't inflammatory.

No. 539656

>>539646

I don't know if admin's some kind of ally who took everything the wrong way, but I'm part of one of the groups mentioned and didn't see anything as bait
The fact that she had to pull up posts from literal weeks ago and couldn't find any that were actually even slightly hostile, but then she went ahead and insisted the thread was full of hostility regardless is so funny to me

No. 539658

>>539656
these are some of posts admin included as examples

>Dating out as a black woman doesn't magically make things better though. Seriously, when you see slanderous, hateful shit about black women, you have no idea what race the man could be, because all men of all races tend to hold negative perceptions of black women. It would somewhat increase your options, but overall every man has to be dealt on a case by case basis and you really have to keep your guard up higher than any other women since men ain't shit.


>Being brown (Indian), I’ve heard my whole life how dark skinned women (like me) are dirty and unwifeable. Brown men make fun of us for having moustaches or facial hair. If you’re a brown guy and you get a white woman you’re a chad. If it’s the other way round, the brown woman is a whore for white cock and brainwashed by ‘western values’. I remember as a pre teen being on the internet, seeing men of all races share a meme about ‘black girls pussies’ and I thought…mine looks like that. Men hate women and will use any reason to.


>I'm 30.I sometimes wonder if men dont care about my feelings or if they just treat all women like this. Sometimes I blame myself. Maybe I'm too stupid. Maybe I'm too ugly to be respected. Idk.

>I did the smart thing and stopped being a pick me. Deleted all my dating apps. Blocked every guy I've ever had an emotional or romantic relationship with. With every guy I just feel like I'm worthless, no guy has ever made me feel like I'm good enough for em. I feel like I'm not even a human but just an object put on earth for their pleasure. I'm only as important as the amount of Instagram followers I have or how many orbiters. I dont even have a female support system to turn to. I'm black and I stopped wearing wigs to let my natural hair grow back and stop trying to hide behind a mask. I feel so alone and lost.

No. 539659


No. 539660

>>539656
Some of those posts are racebaity and you guys still won't keep your scrote or politics sperging in your containment thread or new website for fucks sake
>>539198
Man they corona cancelled just about any graduation in the states too

No. 539662

should you b talking about this shit in the peepee thread or is it locked now

No. 539664

I wish things would just go back to normal, I hope that isn't selfish. I feel awful for taking the small things for granted, taking people I really care about for granted. I want to make things up to everyone and I'm more determined than ever to crawl out of my depression with a desire to really live. The only thing really driving me is a distant memory of being happy outside in the cold fall while riding my bike as a child.

No. 539670

>>539658

This is what I mean. None of those posts are hostile. I guess we're all supposed to be white or LARP as that now. I've seen far more inflammatory posts in other generals threads and nobody cared

>>539660
>>539662

There's no containment thread anymore since she locked it, but you're right. I'll fuck off to Asherahs Garden to talk about this before she randomly decides to lock this vent thread too

No. 539671

All this stupid conversation made me have a headache…and I didn’t event read a single thing, this is my vent.

No. 539708

>>539670
Will you actually fuck off to there though or will you continue to stay like all the other ones that keep saying they're leaving? lol

No. 539723

>>539615
Highly relatable

No. 539725

I wish people with degenerate lifestyles wouldn't have kids. It's really sad to see ex-porn stars or celebrities known for their intense drug problems having children.

No. 539733

Good morning I'm scared of men

No. 539742

I’m sorry if this is a double post, I think I posted it in the old thread by mistake. I need advice on how to tell my family that I eloped 3 years ago. It’s something that stresses me out everyday and loses me sleep a lot of nights. I left to live abroad with my older partner many years ago. I didn’t tell my family about him due to the age gap but also because of some ongoing legal issues. I got married 3 years later, and it’s been another 3 years since. It causes me great anxiety to think of saying “I’ve been married for 3 years” as my intention was never to hurt their feelings. I don;’t know if their feelings would even be hurt tbh. Just don;t know what to do. Can anyone suggest how to go about it? A bit of context, I left one night and sent a text saying I’m leaving and that was it. Went abroad and the only communication with my family was through text every now and then.

No. 539746

>>539742
Just to add, my husband doesn’t know that I haven’t told them yet.

No. 539752

File: 1586607503511.jpeg (40.65 KB, 680x383, C188212A-CD69-4DD7-ABAD-33979F…)

Does anyone have any advice on dealing with loud neighbours, please?
All day long when it's warmer weather, they blast music. Pretty sure I have misophonia to begin with but I just want to be in silence and not be forced to listen to Ed Sheeran. I don't even open my curtains anymore because I want to block out the sound as much as possible, but that means I'm lacking Vitamin D and that always makes my acne worse. My room in the house is kind of the worst placement for wanting to get peace and quiet, because it's right near the backyard where they're playing music and next to the bathroom where we usually have windows open. I don't want to make a noise complaint because I don't want to have to deal with drama and I'm pretty sure my housemates aren't bothered by the noise. I'm goin crazy anon I hate this so much and it's the only thing stopping me from having a comfy quarantine

No. 539754

>>539752
Have you tried talking to them? I know they might not be compliant but they probably don’t know that they’re bothering anyone, before you file a formal noise complaint with the police or anything. Just a “hey, would you mind turning down your music a bit? My bedroom borders the backyard and insert why it bothers you, or if you could make up a white lie about working from home or studying or something. If they’re nice there won’t be any drama!

No. 539764

>>539742
This is odd. My brother kind of did the same thing, only we didn't know he got married until the divorce lawyer called us looking for his address.
Every family is different but if they aren't complete assholes that you shouldn't associate with anyway, they'll understand. Be a bit hurt at first, but it will turn into a family joke in given time.

No. 539768

>>539764
Thanks for your response. I’ve never spoken to anyone in the whole world about this. So just having someone discuss it with in itself is weirdly comforting. My 3rd marriage anniversary is coming up. If I were to go with that step and finally tell them, do you think I should do it before, on or after?

No. 539769

>>539764
Also can you please share if you have any ideas on how to tell them? I hardly ever speak to them on the phone. Last time I spoke to my mum on the phone was around 2 years ago. Do you think it’s ok to text? And what can I write in the text? I appreciate the response, again.

No. 539777

>>539608

It will get easier as time goes on. I am sending you a virtual hug, anon. I wish you the absolute best, you deserve to be happy.

No. 539803

File: 1586624584582.jpg (28.22 KB, 768x431, 1542383727995.jpg)

I'm sick of my younger brother being an unbearable asshole. I wish I could just cut him off for good without my other family members trying to guilt trip me into putting up with him because "we're family". I'm sorry if this is long, I just have a lot to get off my chest.

>always has something negative to say

>whenever I ask if he wants to hangout, play video games, watch a movie, ect. he gets angry and says he's tired or he doesn't have time. Then he turns around and hangs out with his friends, doing the same things he got mad at me for suggesting
>anytime I or our youngest brother is happy or enthusiastic about something like a game or movie, he shits all over it and puts us down for liking it
>speaking of which, has a habit of shitting on things that I like and then later picking it up and acting like he never made fun of me for liking something
>has thrown very personal and hurtful things in my face out of nowhere, like smugly telling me how much our late mother hated me
>When we both got hired for seasonal work at a retail store, he was constantly loudly making rude remarks about customers, co-workers and of course me.
>got mad at me for telling him not to put gift cards in his fucking back pocket (he wasn't stealing, a manager gave us more stuff from the front to put back and he thought it was a good idea to carry them in his pocket for some reason)
>constantly blames me or takes his frustration out on me whenever something goes wrong for him whether it's work or college

There is much more stuff like him constantly leaving sex toy related shit around the house and acting like it isn't a big deal because "dad and [youngest brother] don't know what Bad Dragon is anyway", using gay slang to brag about having sex with his boyfriend to my 14-year-old brother and I, then smugly making fun of us because (before we decided to Google it) we had no idea what he meant, and him and his boyfriend possibly having sex in my FOURTEEN YEAR OLD BROTHER'S BRAND NEW BED, but honestly this post is already too long. The straw that might break the camel's back is my brother refusing to stay home and is still going out to see his boyfriend, still getting fast food, and still going to the store for non essentials like candy (while taking zero safety precautions). He said that it wasn't a big deal and that his boyfriend's mom is a nurse and if she thought anyone in their house was sick, she wouldn't let him in. He ignored me when I told him that people can still be contagious while not showing any symptoms and called me crazy for worrying about the virus to begin with. I'm so tired of his bullshit. Is there anyway I can convince him to stay the fuck home?

No. 539806

>>539742
Depends on the family but if you think they wouldn't care then they probably don't since people usually know very clearly what cetain hot button family issues are. And if you havn't really talked to them much in 3 years that's not as weird as you talk every day but kept it to yourself that you're married, they probably assume you have your own seperate whole life now. I'd tell them when you're already texting next, if you phone them out the blue or text them first you're maybe priming them to take it more seriously than if you're already communicating.

No. 539807

>>539803
Just cut him off if you want to, fuck what your family thinks.

No. 539808

>>539752
I feel this, except it's an obnoxious roommate who doesn't care how many times I tell her I have online classes and can't focus. Can you get noise cancelling headphones?

No. 539811

genuinely wish from the bottom of my heart that i would die. i just want to die so bad. so fucking bad. i've seriously had enough of being alive and i wish i had the guts to kill myself. drowning was my number 1 option because i cannot swim but after reading so much over how it feels to drown, i pussied out and now i am angry with myself because i have nothing else anymore. i also self harm and the cuts are always so deep that i need a towel with me but i'm numb to the pain. i know that what i just said sounds like an edgy 12 year old btw. now i am considering slitting my wrists open.

i am just so tired of living and being alive. i wish my mom would've given birth to someone not as fucked up as me. someone who wants to live and is proud of her life. all those 25 years i've been nothing but a burden and an embarrassment. i made my parents cry and made them ashamed of me, made my siblings look as me some sort of monster and was not the "ideal role model" i should've been. i am just so tired i am crying as i type this. i wish someone had my life who didn't make it or had to unfortunately die. i don't have any friends or pets so i am pretty sure no one will miss me. my mom's last words were that she hates me and i still carry them with me like she said it just now.

No. 539813

>>539803
Your brother sounds like a degenerate and I don't think he'll listen to anything reasonable because he's acting like a hormonal, angsty, selfish teenager. Either way his behavior is putting you all in danger at this time, I think it's justified to cut him off.

Maybe write him a letter explaining your reasons and ultimatum just so you can say you warned him? I dunno, he sounds impossible.

No. 539815

File: 1586629514793.jpeg (50.21 KB, 716x672, 1586571002744.jpeg)


No. 539819

>>539815
Nta but how in these times

No. 539821

For you and other assholes like you therapy won't really work, so you should commit suicide instead.

No. 539823

>>539803
Beat him. Just beat him. Or arrange someone to beat him. Fucks like him will never learn without violence. No matter how many times you tell them to stop, tell them that they hurt you and you don't appreciate their behavior, they will still ignore and keep doing it. Your brother acts so high and mighty, and he doesn't even have anything to be so high and mighty to be about. Did your late mother butter his ass up constantly or what? My brother is not that much of an asshole, but my mom used to spoil him so much that he ended up going batshit crazy and went on an ego trip nearly every day until he accidentally impregnated his ex and then tried to dump her when she asked him to pay for the abortion, she arranged someone to beat him and it's like he's changed. No longer that piece of shit who is loud as hell, he's like a little scared dog now.

No. 539824

>>539822
You don't sound like a good sister either though. Wtf.

No. 539827

>>539811
>my mom's last words were that she hates me and i still carry them with me like she said it just now
Unless you did something truly horrible like set a puppy on fire I don't think parents have any rights to say they hate their children just because they're upset. I hate my mom plenty but I'm not such a sociopath to say it to her face knowing how much that hurts people. I just wanted my mom to have the capacity to treat me better, not make her miserable for life. It's a shame that your mom chose to say something that would hurt you, instead of saying something critical yet supportive enough that would resonate with you to become better, not worse.

If you've got nothing to lose, why not strike out and rebuild a new life elsewhere? I don't know how you can have true closure ending things now not knowing for sure if under different circumstances, you could be happy. I know I couldn't die until I tried. /2c

No. 539829

>>539827
i come from a middle eastern family and both my parents are very, very religious and very strict about it too. they made me wear a hijab when i was a little kid — until i was in my late teens. they were so controlling aka never eat too much, behave like the perfect housewife, you need to marry a man and have 4 kids like we did, you need to pray every day to god. when i had my period she'd act so disgusted and instead of giving me pads, she'd make me put on some old washed up clothes down there because she believed that pads and tampons would take my virginity. controlled my entire life 24/7. they also believe in arranged marriages (of course) and i couldn't take it anymore because they were dropping hints over this relative my dad knows and that i should meet him, so i called the cps on them and nearly tore the family apart and my siblings taken away. in the end i got beat by them and she threw me out of the house, telling me to never come back and her daughter is dead for her now and she hates me because she took care of me for years and i ended up betraying her love and trust.

i know i might sound like the biggest victim ever right now my with my sob story but this is how things are. you're free to believe or fuck off and call me a retard lol.

so of course i am just tired. i seriously don't even feel joy in things anymore. all these years i've been slowly losing interest over things i like and now i am left with nothing but chronic emptiness.

>>539815
what makes you think that i haven't tried yet? also therapy is expensive as hell here, back then i had the chance to afford it but now i can't and i don't want to either. and it's not like i can properly talk about my problems irl, i always end up crying and sobbing.

No. 539831

>>539829
nta but damn you got some courage calling cps, you did the right thing imo. I think if you have the strength to break away from your family to follow your own path, you can get through this too.

No. 539833

>>539829
ily anon and i know how you feel, i am also from a middle eastern family although they're not as severe as yours. ♥ don't listen to the assholes, it's probably another raid trying to get a rise from us

No. 539836

>>539831
thank you a lot for your kind words, i appreciate them a lot. i don't want to shit on your kind message either aka

>I think if you have the strength to break away from your family to follow your own path, you can get through this too.


but at this point i am just exhausted. but thank you still.

>>539833
i wish nothing but the best of luck on you. it pains me that you also have a family with fucked up traditions and beliefs but i also feel a little bit relief that they're not as bad as mine. thank you also for your words and nope, i might be suicidal but i will not listen to some edgelords on an imageboard.

No. 539838

>>539829
Yeah your family is nuts, please don't kill yourself because of them. If you lived anywhere else and had any other circumstances you'd probably be very happy and love your life.
I know things seem impossible now but you owe it to yourself to live and at least take a chance. You probably can't escape the situation for at least the next year or so, but what's a year really? Please reconsider and tell yourself that you deserve a happy future. Bide your time.

No. 539841

>>539829
> she'd make me put on some old washed up clothes down there
Ok she said the thing about the tampons but not the pads. I believe you but I also know that muslim families exaggerate shit for the hell of it.

No. 539843

>>539829
stop caring about what your retard parents think/thought of you. they were trash people

No. 539844

>>539833
>asshole in plural
>>539821 is for
>>539815
Just to keep things clear. Though should have realised it was a raid.

No. 539845

>>539844
How the fuck is it a raid to suggest therapy to someone who really wants to kill themselves? Are you all retarded?

No. 539847

>>539843
I know a lot about those things since I were in the same boat but middle eastern families are big melodramatic tribalistic manbabies, they're powertripping their kids and in turn their kids are depending needy bitches who can't leave the house before the age of 35. Harsh but true. Glad I left the family's home and ever since stopped caring what they think of me and muh honor.

No. 539848

>>539845
Because it was a bit of a useless and cruel thing to post a meme about.

No. 539849

>>539848
Therapy isn't an insult and this is still an imageboard. If you think a meme with "get therapy" in it is cruel you need to stop being so fucking oversensitive.

No. 539852

>>539849
calm down weirdo

No. 539853

>>539852
Says the cunt who tells people to kill themselves over a meme. Muh cruelty tho

No. 539854

>>539853
I just did tell an asshole to an hero indeed

No. 539855

>>539854
calm down weirdo

No. 539868

It's sad that so many anons are ok with shotacon.

No. 539875

>>539868
I don't like neither but they are also the first ones to have a fit if anyone likes lolicon. Both of them are nasty and bad and the "it's only a drawing" argument never fails to show their true colors.

No. 539876

File: 1586641409791.jpeg (315.33 KB, 750x764, 3E0A7484-08B2-40FA-AA62-45CDD7…)

>proceeds to write my partner a long text about how much i love him, how he will succeed in life because he is so smart and has good grades, how he should stop doubting himself
>"umm okay anon.."
>now feels stupid and embarrassed
>wasn't expecting that reaction at all

No. 539878

File: 1586642009193.jpg (645.41 KB, 1774x1774, IMG_5440.JPG)

I'm desperately trying to fight off getting a UTI during quarantine cause I don't want to have to go out to go to a clinic and I found some 2 years expired antibiotics in the back of the medicine cabinet so if I die I die

No. 539881

>>539878
oh god do you have one or are you preventing one? please drink lots of water and if you have one you might just need to go out and get shit for it so you dont end up with a kidney infection

No. 539882

>>539876
I felt this in my bones. I hate this kind of shit from men. It’s either 2 word answers to everything or the “you’re weird if you’re nice to me” thing.

No. 539883

>>539868
Normalfag GTFO REEEEEEEE

No. 539886

>>539883
cringe

No. 539889

>>539878
Sorry do you mean you think you have one coming on? If you don't have symptoms then taking antibiotics as a preventative measure might actually make you more susceptible, not to mention render antibiotics useless in the future if you don't have enough for a full cycle if and when you do get an infection. Anon if it gets bad go to the clinic, anyone who begrudge you would be an idiot.

No. 539890

>>539876
tbh that's how i react to these things too

No. 539892

File: 1586643032321.jpg (6.07 KB, 193x197, 1553219068239.jpg)

>hurt that things didn't work out with the guy I really liked and that I had to block him on everything
>still anxious from experiencing an earthquake a few weeks ago that I thought was going to kill me and my family, with aftershocks sustaining that fear
>coronavirus pandemic and fear mongering hanging over my head almost constantly because I'm quarantining with my mom and it's all she talks about sometimes and she insists on keeping the news on the tv far too frequently for my liking
>still have to work, don't know if I want to keep my job since it's too risky
>feeling stressed and I don't really have anyone I can depend on to listen to me
>want to give online therapy a try but am worried the sessions will just be empty, hollow, and easily passed off because i'm not sure i have it in me to talk

No. 539897

File: 1586644088040.jpg (177.45 KB, 1500x1322, EVLV0P8UcAUShr0.jpg)

>>539868
I'd agree but only on what your definition of shotacon is
lmao

No. 539899

>>539897
what the fuck is this image

No. 539900

>>539899
timmy and tommy duh

No. 539901

>>539897
The kind that looks like little kids. What else could it be?

nice pic

No. 539903

>>539868
Same I find it extremely disturbing

No. 539905

does anyone else get embarrassed over the literally tiniest things and feel really fucking stupid over things that most people probably wouldn't feel embarrassed about or is it just me

No. 539907

>>539905
Me, I think I just find literally being alive embarrassing

No. 539909

I'm doing well eating disorder-wise at the moment. But I keep seeing people who are really sick and getting pangs of envy. I don't know why, it's a pathetic life. I just feel lots of self-hatred and confusion at the minute. I'm going back to university in September to read Medicine and that's what I should be excited for, right? I made it this far. I have the perfect life well within my grasp.

But I'm depressed. And so it all feels pointless. I just want to regress.

When will I ever escape this?

No. 539911

File: 1586645513574.jpg (71.87 KB, 719x1186, spook.jpg)

My roommate is so nippy and frugal around money, im fine when its with his own money but recently hes been doing it with me. I went to get groceries to stock up on and I decided to get some hair-dye because why not, its fun and I wanted to change up my look. Cost around $20, no biggie I have the money for it. I got back and was un-packing the groceries and he sees me pull out the hair-dye and starts going off on me about how im wasting my money and that I should be saving up, calling me irresponsible and retarded. I didn't want to start a fight so I just said "Ok then". But man i'm so pissed, hes been so controlling over everything in the apartment, can't use the stove for long,can't have longer than a 15 min shower, can't keep the lights on for a certain length of time just so we can save on bills.The thing is we aren't tight on money at all we both make enough to afford this place with some money left over. I was alright with it for a bit because I like the thought of saving some cash but fuck, I can't even spend 20 fucking dollars of MY money on some hair-dye. Mmmm im just glad I move out when I start my uni course.

No. 539912

Do you ever daydream about becoming best friends with a girl you spoke to for like 2 minutes or am I just a loser

No. 539915

>>539912
Yup. I can never make girlfriends though because I'm a fucking weirdo

No. 539947

>>539912
yes but i'm gay

No. 539971

>>539911
This sounds borderline abusive, he shouldn't be controlling your showers, cooking, what you spend your own money on. I feel bad for anyone who ends up in a relationship with him.

No. 539991

File: 1586655445796.jpg (22.18 KB, 480x480, 0f6.jpg)

The last thing I fucking need right now is all of my family members constantly pointing out my weight gain as if I'm blind and retarded and can't notice that I look like a fucking bloated whale. Please stop fucking bringing it up because I'm already miserable and barely leave my room as much as possible and wear baggy clothes because my appearance disgusts me so much that I can't even let myself be comfortable in my own house. I know I gained weight and I know it's clearly visible to others and I'm fucking trying to lose it, I'm trying to cut back on what I eat but weight loss takes time and all that fat doesn't magically disappear overnight after eating a salad once. I just want to be left the fuck alone.

No. 540005

Sometimes bad things can happen, and it can be no ones fault. People don’t always need to find a scapegoat. You can still be angry and don’t have to have someone to direct your anger at.

No. 540029

I hate how religious my parents are and they make me pray with them. What I hate more is how much they genuinely worry and stress out over me going to hell because I'm not religious and don't go to church. I go through the motions of family prayer to make them happy but that's it.
As twisted as it is i hope my sibling continues going to church. It makes me so upset to think they tried so hard and invested so much into us being religious and for their efforts to be in vain.
They're great parents and they did an awesome job raising us. It crushes me to let them down over something they live by, but (I believe) it's not real and I'm not wasting my time, energy, or mental capacity convincing myself it is real.

No. 540031

Our family pet just passed away a few weeks ago and it's been really affecting my family and I's mood and mentality. My dad and I have been trying to be there for each other because we were the closest with our pet, but the other day he lashed out verbally at me threatening to hit me if I changed the channel while we were eating (not the first time he's said that to me under other circumstances). So we've been avoiding/ignoring each other for the past couple days but I feel sort of guilty/bad about it even though I haven't done anything wrong.

Since I've gotten older I've noticed from time to time we've been trapped in that sort of cycle of threatening violence->silent treatment->guilt for silent treatment->he forgets about it. He's never apologized for saying anything like that to me or trying to own up to saying something hurtful and always just "forgets" about it and acts like it never happened. On one hand I guess I should feel "lucky" because it's never been physical except for once but it's horrible to hear casual violent statements for inoffensive things. Despite all of my gripes I feel like my dad's mental state may worsen especially because he took care of our family pet the most because he's retired.

No. 540033

>>539829
>>540029
My family is very religious and traditional too. They know I'm not religious and I am allowed to sort of avoid them but certain events will prompt my dad to go full fundamentalist sometimes. I can go out as I please but I will get slutshamed on a daily basis and have my dad telling me not to get pregnant or be low value. I was taken to a gyno over using tampons because my dad accused me of having sex. When I was younger my family attempted to perform a exorcism on me when I was 14 over nothing really. I ended up escaping and calling the police but they just told me my family was only worried about me. They had a PET team evaluate me and I was sent back home. It's a very toxic and highly superstitious dynamic. When someone in our family was assaulted I was told she deserved it. I feel very ashamed of my family and I have always longed for the supportive families I see other people have. I was supposed to graduate this year but I don't think anyone would have come anyways so it's for the best that the pandemic had canceled things.
I just want to say I know my story might be different but you guys aren't alone.

No. 540037

>>540029
I feel this so hard. My parents are alright and tried to raise me well and into their religion and I feel so guilty for not believing in it anymore. I haven't told them yet because I don't want to hurt them, and then have them lash out at me. But I hate that not telling them makes me anxious and unable to have a genuine relationship with them when they're so important to me.

No. 540041

I want this to end. I wanted to find a decent job and have enough money to survive and now I can’t sleep at night because even when I try to remember it’s temporary all this anxiety fucks me up. It’s like a nightmare and I want to wake up but I know nothing ever will be the same.

No. 540069

File: 1586681291953.png (122.14 KB, 229x216, 67c.png)

I thought this Facebook border you add to your profile pic was funny. It makes you look like you're holding up a Lysol can. You know, ha ha covid related. Except upon further inspection it's a man hand holding the can and the nails are gross. Hangnails blegh. I'm not putting that gross shit on my picture. How dare they.

No. 540085

>>535754
sent my LDR boyfriend nudes the other day and he said 'your tits look perky today', he knows that I really hate my breasts so I guess he was trying to make me feel better about them but regardless of his intentions it ruined my mood and I'm still thinking about it.

No. 540088

>>540085
Samefag, I forgot to add that my boobs are saggy and they didn't look any better that day, in fact they might have been even worse than usual.

No. 540089

>>540085
>'your tits look perky today'
Nah, he knew exactly what he was saying.

No. 540090

File: 1586690536705.jpeg (619.83 KB, 1536x842, 4FFCBED3-CFDC-4169-9A48-351DCB…)

>Cabin Fever making the already abusive and unstable people at home constantly fight eachother.
>Done nothing for college, probably going to blitz everything last minute again.
>Horny as fuck but I can’t have my boyfriend here, my meat is on suicide watch.
>I get Seasonal Depression around this time of year because the tism’ makes me sensitive to sunlight. I’ve been trying to compensate for this by going nocturnal.
>More flashbacks than ever, they constantly hit me throughout the day but I can’t go back to therapy or attempt to claim disability benefits.

Shiiiiiiiiet.

No. 540092

My boyfriend just admitted I've gained weight and my body looked nicer before and whilst I appreciate the honesty I can't help but feel extremely depressed about it. I have issues with body dysmorphia and general self confidence issues anyway. I'm just going to write today off and wait for tomorrow to start.

No. 540097

>>540089
What do you think his intention was? I can't feel flattered or good about it but it's weird to be upset about it too.

No. 540098

So how exactly do you use social media? I've been very much online since my preteens years and have never managed to make any friends online or engage in a community. I've gone through multiple accounts on multiple social media sites and all I've managed to do is lurk… This is pretty dumb but it still frustrates me. I just have no idea how to talk to people online…

No. 540104

>>540092
I'm sorry but I find it super passive aggressive that your boyfriend and people like him wait to say anything and then act like it's so honest to tell you that you look like shit. No, that's actually kinda crappy of him.

No. 540108

>>540097
To make you feel this way. Insecure, but wrong for feeling insecure.
"I like your breasts" would've sufficed, but he decided to take it in a direction that reminded you of what you don't like, and added a time limit for the compliment ("today" lmao) so you'd still be in doubt, anyway. It's not like smell or hair, which can vary day by day like a bad hair day or a new perfume. Breasts don't have "perky" days and "saggy" days.
It sounds like negging to me.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negging

No. 540110

>>540108
oh fuck it really does sound like negging, guess I was too blinded by my insecurities to see that he was making me feel worse about myself. thanks for the answer, I feel less confused now.

No. 540111

>>540108
>>540110
to me it just sounds like he doesn't know how to give a good compliment/handle your insecurity

No. 540113

>>540092
That's so rude, men are shit. My bf always said he liked bigger girls and actually jerked off to porn of actual fat women before me, I'm smaller than the girls he watched. Then I gained a bit of weight with him because he eats like shit constantly and I picked up some of his habits so I gained about 20 lbs since we moved in together. He called me fat the other day and said I'm not losing weight fast enough even though I had already lost half of what I gained. I think that they are just fucking sick in the head and they need to make us feel like shit because they know they are disgusting and useless and can't do any better. It makes them feel like they aren't expendable (they are).

No. 540120

>>540113
And you are still with him.

No. 540121

>>540098
Wish I knew, but I'm in the same boat as you. I was a regular active user of tumblr for almost six years and despite having tons of mutuals with the same interests as me for years I never was able to make friends with a single person because I was so shy I couldn't even talk to people online. Of all the websites I use this is the only place I feel comfortable posting on because it's anonymous, and even then it took me years of lurking here before I could start posting. Hopefully we can both learn to come out of our shells. I get so jealous seeing people on tumblr, twitter, etc. make new accounts and make friends instantly because they can just be normal and start conversations with people naturally.

No. 540123

>>540120
Yeah, kind of hard to move out during lockdown, I had my shit ready to go and was going to move across country to live with my elderly mother. Can't do that now, just counting the fucking days. He also has been becoming violent and physically abusive, believe me I want to leave as soon as possible.

No. 540124

Tl;dr:being bullied over being fat and skinny.

As a woman i feel like no matter what body type i am i always get bullied over it.
I used to be a healthy girl but i was thick i had thick legs (but other than that i was slim it was just the legs this was also 2012 when all bodytypes who werent super skinny were hated) and i got bullied over it and one of my so called-friends would constantly comment on them i was also around girls who were super skinny and had twig legs which made me feel even more insecure.
I decided to lose weight, i was super dedicated to my diet and would eat only once a day low calorie snack and would workout 80 minutes a day.
After two years of living like this i finally reached my goal weight, i also had some problems while i was on the diet like i wasnt growing in height nor my hair was growing and one time i fainted for no reason.
I was so happy that i finally reached a weight that was socially acceptable…..but no nit wasn't like that, now i was being bullied for being skinny women and girls would make fake ''concern'' comments about my weight and boys would be disgusted by me.

Fast forward to 2020 where im a adult and now i accepted myself no matter what weight i am, ive gained some weight and it does look bad but i dont care anymore. I just dont give a shit what people think.

No. 540147

I remember when I used to be a 95 lbs ana chan(dont worry I'm a health 120 lbs now)and I was very territorial over food.
I went to McDonalds with my bf and I purchased my own burger and fries, I told him I'd pay for my own food so I wouldnt have to share and he was so adamant about eating my food and was getting so pissed I wouldnt share. It made 0 sense to me because 1. I was paying for my own meal and 2. This man had 50k in the bank, doesnt have bills and lives with his parents so I'm not sure why he cant just buy his own food and not eat mine.

Idk maybe I'm weird but I feel like if I was in that situation with someone I know has an eating disorder I wouldnt act like that lol
I'd just let them have their own damn food lol

No. 540149

>Watch a food segment about a nice, old, Cajun lady that's been running her restaurant for years.

>Dude, in the comments "Imagine a KaReN WaLkIng in TheRe"


Can they give it a fucking rest?

No. 540151

>>540029
I felt the same as you about my hyper-religious mother. Now she doesn't even blink anymore when I don't pray when we're eating or whatever. I feel like she's given up on me for the most important thing in her life, even though I don't believe god exists. This is super hypocritical of me considering how annoyed I always was with trying to "save" me.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, you have parents that are genuinely concerned with your wellbeing after this life and they're not giving up on you and I think that's still a beautiful thing

No. 540169

>>540147
I get it, if you're an anachan you have that meal planned out and someone else taking bites messes it up.

No. 540172

this is such a first world vent, but I just learned that they cancelled the ren faire for this year because of covid 19 even though it wouldn't be until a whole two months from now. it makes me sad because I always look forward to it and it's a highlight of the summer

No. 540173

>>540147
I mean tbh unless I make it clear I'm down to share I don't like people touching my food either? Not even ana. Especially when the begging is from a man, that's so pathetic, like buy your own dude! A man should be buying you food and giving you stuff to eat, that's extra peevy in your situation.

No. 540175

I fucking hate how scatterbrained I am, sometimes I wonder if I have some sort of neurological disorder or I'm just simply retarded.

I just realized that a few days ago while cleaning the apartment that I accidently threw out the envelope that had my monthly rent prepared in it. And this is not even the stupidest thing I have ever done.
I also find it difficult to be 'present' when people are talking to me, and I constantly forget things I'm told. Like, I ask someone a question and in that same second I suddenly remember that I already know the answer, because they told me before. This led to some tension in my friendships as well.
I've talked to my therapist about this, but he says he doesn't think I have ADD, because that would have shown at a younger age, in school, and I was a good student.

Advice on how to focus better?

No. 540180

I saw myself in the self checkout camera in the grocery store today and it literally ruined my week like I’ve just been walking around looking like that?!

No. 540185


No. 540187

>>540175
I'm like you. I'm so forgetful and just generally all over the place. It's gotten really worse over the years.
Do you have depression, anon?

No. 540188

>>540180
Yes anon, because everyone perceives you in a low quality bitrate and video compression.

How can someone so vain and retarded?

No. 540191

>>540187
I'm sorry to hear that. No, I used to be depressed, but not anymore. I assumed that the forgetfulness would automatically improve when the depression lifted, but it didn't.

No. 540192

>>540188
>How can someone so vain and retarded?
ntayrt but stfu you dumbass bitch

No. 540198

>>540180
I was the same when my self-esteem was at rock bottom. love yourself, anon. I bet you look 100x better than you perceive yourself

No. 540199

File: 1586719394779.jpg (27.16 KB, 720x833, 1585051605509.jpg)

My stepdad can be a real nasty piece of work and living with him is so aggravating. If I had the nerve to be as mean, snappy, and aggressive to him as he is to me I'd never hear the end of it. Every holiday the dinner has to become an issue, because god forbid he doesn't get his way. He doesn't like grocery shopping, cooking, or really even food so why he doesn't leave things completely up to me? Idk, maybe he loves drama and likes feeling in charge despite knowing fuck all.

He went shopping for easter dinner without me. He snuck out early this morning before I left my room. This is the third holiday I've lived with him where he's pulled this stunt. I wouldn't care except he always forgets shit and then gets mad because he doesn't cook and hates it. I won't even touch how he's not supposed to be going out because of covid, but apparently he wanted to make multiple stops including one to his girlfriend this morning to give her goodies (she has a fuckton of kids and I disagree with him making visits right now). Even though I often pay for groceries he doesn't like me going because he wants only plain food. My absence ensures there's nothing "crazy" (aka healthy and flavorful) because all he wants is a plain baked potato and plain baked ham.
K fine. So he bought pineapple rings, cherries, and glaze to put on the ham. I showed him cloves that he could stick in as well, but then it hit me: "Stepdad, did you get toothpicks for your pineapple rings?" He proceeds to throw an annoyed tantrum because of course he forgot toothpicks. He never makes food so he doesn't know what he needed to prepare it. He had to go to the store again (helloooooooo covid) just for those. When he returned he said how he wanted a dry rub for the ham, much to my shock. So I whipped together a small mix of brown sugar, pepper, five spice, cinnamon, onion powder, and cardamom. It smelled super good.
Anyway he was hogging the kitchen so I left him to it. Before he sticks the pineapple and cherries on the ham, I see him reach for the glaze. I asked him if he was going to put the pineapples on first? He snapped at me and got all huffy because how DARE I ask a question about his method. The reason I said anything is because glazing before the fruit is attached is just going to cause the dry rub to run off because glaze is a liquid. If he put the fruit on first it would help hold the glaze and dry rub on the ham.
I can't believe his anger at me sometimes, for the slightest of slights if you can even call what I asked '"slighting." I'm so sick of his anger towards me, for no good reason at all except that apparently I don't do and say the right things. Maybe I remind him of mom and don't kiss his ass enough? Who knows.

No. 540203

>>540191
Thank you ♥. I'm glad you're doing better now. I unfortunately don't have any advice but i hope things will improve for you soon.

No. 540214

i left all my homework and studying for today and if i do not get off my lazy ass and finish it i will cry

No. 540248

>>540121
Thank you :) but I don't even know how to make mutuals haha

No. 540250

File: 1586730573094.jpeg (344.77 KB, 625x889, F5664C74-8B04-4B20-A144-E7D607…)

Sorry if this seems kinda pp but this shit is getting out of hand and the thread is locked I just had to share this. Anti porn or not, you guys gotta admit it’s getting out of hand

No. 540255

>>540250
The fact that teens is a category of its own is already disturbing enough and then we have shit like this. Absolutely unbelievable. And the people who are enabling this stuff are the same people who will be like uwu kill pedophiles uwu.

No. 540258

>>540255
“IT’S JUST A FANTASY STOP BEING A PRUDE REEEEEEE”

No. 540269

>>540250
This is vile.

Another thing, the reasoning locking for the pink pill thread is bullshit.

No. 540276

File: 1586735131877.jpg (113.05 KB, 1280x1254, 364736478343843.jpg)

>>540250
Honest to god wish there was a way to simultaneously push everyone who participates in ageplay off a cliff. Disgusting.

No. 540281

>>540250
she looks like the actress in girl meets world. gross.

No. 540282

>>540250
the grossest thing about this is that it makes me wonder when men are sexually fantasizing about innocent things. like are men fantasizing about fucking little kids at easter egg hunts? that's what this suggests. I don't trust men anymore, they are all degenerates.

No. 540294

File: 1586737941126.jpg (242.25 KB, 720x701, 20200412_173103.jpg)

>>540250
Even men are starting to point out how weird this shit is.

No. 540297

>>540294
although the thing about when men criticize stuff like this is that they blame the women. watch them blame the female porn stars instead of blaming the men who pay for and jack off to it or the male producers

No. 540299

>>540297
They are so addicted to the stimulation porn gives them, they can't fathom that you can get your rocks off without supporting such a nasty industry. But unfortunately, most men will continue to support this stuff in large numbers and cry simp or feminazi to any one who knows better.

No. 540302

>>540294
I'm so glad to see this chick getting called out–even if it might be under the wrong intentions.

No. 540305

I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for a little over two years. There was a six month period where we had been broken up because the first time around he was so fucking toxic and neglectful and it was like subjecting myself to torture every day. He acted like your average annoying, misogynistic pseudo-intellectual debatebro “meme” loser and never listened to me, or came to see me. He belittled me often, and is not a very good communicator and really doesn’t respond if you’re talking about something he doesn’t want to talk about, so it was hard to make plans or keep him engaged. Those six months were amazing for me, and I met a guy who I kind of started to be FWB with occasionally. He wanted to get serious with me. September rolls around, my ex and I reconnect and something about him feels better and different, he apologized for things and promised to change and obviously my fwb ends. For the eight months after that it was pretty alright and good at times, and it seemed like he was changing for awhile, but late feb/early March and into quarantine I’m kind of starting to feel tired of him again. It seems he’s reverting to the inappropriate silence from before, and me having this sinking feeling he isn’t going to fulfill any plans we made for holiday. He doesn’t text back and frankly it’s exhausting. When I try to talk it seems like he just isn’t there, not because he isn’t interested in me but because of immaturity. I’m not even sad, it’s just annoying as fuck at this point. But he’s the only male that I can tolerate for more than an hour, and we’ve made this bond from being together for so long and when he does respond, or when he does do little things it makes me feel all happy again. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about my FWB again, even though he’s dumb as fuck but he’s way more open and I feel like he would provide for me more if we got actually serious like he wanted to be with me, but that could just be fantasy and lust. Basically I feel unfulfilled in my current relationship, but I’m not sure if it’s something he could fix with just a little more patience from me, or if waiting is a waste of my time and I should just move on and do whatever the fuck i want and ignore feeling lonely. Just wanted to vent about my relationship problems.

No. 540313

>>540305
That shit only gets worse anon, run

No. 540318

>>540313
Thank you. As much as I’ve tried to help him with his problems and put his issues onto my back, I’m young and want to have fun with a guy who is exciting and spends time with me. But sometimes I feel personally responsible for him.

No. 540322

>>540318
These people don't really change.

No. 540329

>>540318
I get that but I hope you realise you're not his mom or responsible for his ass, what you are is responsible for your own happiness. Wishing you fun and chill times in the future anon!

No. 540334

I'm like severely depressed right now. Yesterday I found out my cousin passed away from covid while at my bf's house. My parents had been calling me non stop so I put my phone on dnd because I couldn't really emotionally handle anything. My bf saw that and thought I got a text message that I was hiding from him and started getting aggressive about seeing my phone to see who'd text me so late. I was really emotional and my anxiety was high as hell so I said no, and he basically broke it off with me because I didn't want him to see my phone. When I tried to explain to him and show him I didn't get any text message (the notifications he saw were emails, there were time stamps to even prove it) he didn't care, thought I lied, and the fact I didn't 'show him right away' gave him bad feelings.

Now I'm so sad because he broke up with me, and I'm completely alone mourning my cousin. I literally have no energy to sit, or move, or anything at all but sleep and feel like shit. Mean while, my boyfriend is telling me things like I'm a curse, talking about other girls, and just a bunch of subtle jabs at me as I'm like this…

No. 540342

>>540334
What the fuck anon, he sounds like a psychopath. I am so so sorry to hear about your cousin, I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to be grieving in a time where you can’t gather to heal together. It sounds like you are much better off without your boyfriend if he really cannot have any empathy for your situation and jumps to conclusions doubting your loyalty. Sending hugs anon, I hope you can get out and get safe soon.

No. 540343

>>540334
Sorry for your loss anon, I can only imagine how shitty you feel right now.

Your ex sounds psychotically jealous and completely lacking in empathy. I'm not sure if you're still at his house but if not, block and delete him on everything, don't read or respond to anything he says. If you're with him, go grey rock and still don't respond. He's trying to goad you into reacting by saying nasty shit, pathetic.

No. 540346

My own paranoia infuriates me. I have nonstop fear that if I'm not around, everyone talks about me. I feel sick when my boyfriend goes places with friends, only because I'm so afraid of being talked about. I like, completely know he wouldn't? And if people brought me up like that, he'd fight back? It's absolutely the definition of irrational paranoia.
I have no idea how to combat it, I have a lot of different disorders so I know it's from those. I feel disgusting and crazy and no matter what I do, it doesn't go away. Fuck.

No. 540351

once again i left my hw to do after midnight when it's do tonight but this time i have 3x as much when will i stop being so fucking anxious and avoiding shit

No. 540352

>>540351
i keep seeing anons complain about their homework and studying and i wonder if it's the same person or we're all procrastinating bc of these times. or maybe it's the world telling me to stop being such a lazy bitch

No. 540354

>>540175
I am exactly the same as you. I've been told "you've asked me the same question 3 times now" by my sister in a day. Its like I'm living life with my ears muffled and when I talk to people I do it cos I wanna feel connected but the information they feed back to me just doesn't go in my head. I think it's anxiety related cos I'm always panicking in my head what to say next and stuff. I don't have a therapist but I think I'm depressed or have ADD so my guess you have one of these two things too.

No. 540355

I feel so guilty i want to hurt myself. I stopped being close to my dad during my early teen years because of tons of shit that happened when my parents divorced and problems with visitation. I just started to hate him and I think one year I didn’t see him at all by choice. 2 years ago he had a heart attack but lived and had to have heart surgery. I barely visited him or talked to him afterwards. I still barely talk to him or see him because something is wrong with me and i feel extremely uncomfortable talking to and being with either of my parents. I never open up to them or talk to them about my personal life because it makes me feel uncomfortable. I can’t show emotions around them. Late last year my dad had a suicide attempt and i contacted him and told him i loved him but its still the same now and I barely communicate with him by text and never see him. I feel so fucking guilty but i feel uncomfortable of the idea of being close to either of my parents and i just hate my fucking life. There is nothing good going on in my life right now. I cant sleep until 4am because i cant stop thinking

No. 540358

>>540355
anon I also am in a similar boat. My family isn't the type to say 'I love you' or anything, and my dad recently had cancer. He was always physically abusive when I was young, so I always really disliked my dad growing up. Now we're older, and I live on my own and he's sick, I feel really guilty for hating him growing up. I still haven't worked up to the courage to say I love him, but I feel constantly guilty and weird about it. You're not alone, and it's hard to see anything positive when you feel this low and nothing is right but I PROMISE you you have some small things going on that's been good. Hold on to those small things for your sanity, because that's what I'm doing, and it's way harder to do than say it trust me, but things WILL pass, and it WILL get better.

No. 540361

>>540358
Thank you anon ily

No. 540379

>>540368
She reminds me of a younger shoeonhead with the Bernie shirt tiktok and facial expressions. I guess that kinda donkey face is the new wave, that’s why belle delphine got so big. Men probably see above average looking egirls and the less remarkable they are, the better for them because they think they have a chance with that egirl

No. 540382

>>540379
lmao seriously? That girl, Belle and to a lesser extent Shoe, are all very pretty, far above average and don't have 'donkey faces'.

I get that they're annoying but being so hyperbolic about their looks just makes it sound like a jealous cope. Male attention isn't a prize and pickmes always lose in the end, we don't have to act like they're mediocre looking too.

No. 540383

>>540382
Well said, she looks fine.

No. 540384

>>540382
Imo Belle and Neeko are pretty. Shuwu needs the right angles, or else she looks like she has FAS. Probably does honestly.

No. 540388

>>540294
I feel bad seeing this girl get picked on by men, there are people straight up calling her a pedo just because she does the same waifubait schtick every other twitchthot does.

No. 540393

I'm so frustrated to the point of crying because I'm also upset that I'm even upset.

I'm a recovering alcoholic, and my boyfriend is drinking.
I have alcohol for myself still in the fridge, but I had gotten TOO drunk, stupid fucking drunk to the point of blacking out and being so annoying to him he almost made me sleep somewhere else. But I know if I try and drink one of them, limiting myself to one, he'll get upset. But he's happily drinking in his room. I know what he's drinking is so low he'll probably just get the smallest buzz but it's making me really upset and jealous. Sorry if this is just rambling and stupid but I'm trying to keep my temper down.

No. 540399

Sleeps been so hard after finding out my mum's covid results. I'm so worried for her, she's all alone, and I'm ready to risk my health for her. I wanna hug her and see her one last time. I wanna laugh with her one last time. I'm scared that the last time I saw her was well over a month ago.

No. 540403

File: 1586772191319.png (494.17 KB, 749x630, Screenshot 2020-04-13 at 11.02…)

so, im looking at property and i see an unconventional but also very nice and considerable 1 bed, 350sq ft bungalow on the cusp of the london m25 going for only £100k. thinking that's a splendid deal, and wondering what the catch is, i find it.

to be considered as a buyer you must not only be approved by a nudist council and also pay £237 'ground rent' , despite paying to own the bloody thing. uk property is a shitshow and i deeply regret being born here.

jokes aside i pray that the housing market crashes and that the young, underpaid people who are the backbone of this deeply twisted, oligarchal country are able to reclaim whats theirs. i say, keep the rent strike forever. they cant kick us all out.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-67883820.html

No. 540404

>>540399
Samefagging, but now I can't stop the tears again.
Is it selfish for me to wish she never followed her dreams in nursing?

No. 540405

>>540393
Anon are you attending any therapy/counselling for your addiction? Quitting alone is super hard and super scary so if you are able to I'd recommend it!

As someone who went into outpatient rehab here are some tips I got from my therapist that might hopefully help in your sobriety.
During an emergency where I'm likely to relapse I try to write down my feelings, how strong the urge is and if it passes write what helped to calm down the urges. I also try to remove myself from the situation, like taking a walk or doing a fun hobby.

But the best words of advice I got from my therapist was "a relapse isn't when you take a drug/start drinking. It happens way earlier than that", basically take measures to limit yourself to these potentially triggering situations. Have a talk with your BF, explain how hard it is for you to see him drink around you. He doesn't need to stop drinking, but he could limit himself to bars with his friends, or maybe give you extra emotional support if he were to drink with you. Talking, and having a solid support system is crucial to managing an addiction.

Sorry if this is a bit rambling, english is not my first language.

No. 540408

>>540393
You need to tell him and he needs to not drink around you when it is negatively impacting your recovery. He needs to support you in this time - I'm assuming you're partially recovering for him when you say you won't drink because he'll be annoyed and make you sleep elsewhere? If that's the case, he should be helping you with your sobriety, not drinking alone in another room and (sorry to use this phrase) triggering you.

No. 540426

Seems like my friends aren't really acting like my friends anymore and mostly just talk to me when they're trying to con work outta me or copy me. They won't react or like anything I post to social media anymore despite spending their entire day on it, even though I follow what they do and support them. But you can bet if we're in group chat and we're talking about buying stuff, I get them DMing me privately to ask what I'm buying and if I can link them everything I'm getting plsthxbye.
Like I don't mind obviously if friends ask for favors occassionally and stuff, but if they're only talking to me when I'm useful to them well evidently there's a pattern there…

No. 540441

>>540403
>you must be approved by a nudist council
What the fuck? Why? Are there nudists roaming around the area?

No. 540471

Some stupid waste of oxygen degenerate scrotes started setting off fireworks in the alleyway behind my apartment yesterday in the middle of the night until my bf yelled out the window that he was gonna call the cops. One of them yelled back "the cops aren't responding to petty crimes! COVID-19!!!" (which is terrifying, are people really going to start acting like this now?) as they walked away and continued lighting fireworks on the next street. Eventually the cops came and chased them off but I'm so paranoid about men that I stayed awake for hours suspecting they'd come back, and they did. They stood right under our window calling my bf a pussy and yelling related slurs and I think they even pissed under our window. The worst part is that I'm pretty sure some of them live in our complex.

Part of this vent is to say that I'm so terrified of leaving my apartment now and I don't know what to do, but the other part is that I just can't believe I have to share an earth with these types of people. They sounded so absolutely pathetic, their entire conversation was about how much acid they do and their discord friends and how they work in coffee shops, shitting on random other men for having more money than them. They were all probably close to hitting 30, if not older. This isn't racebait, but they were also all white and trying to claim that we're in the "real" and "ghetto" part of my city (this is a fairly wealthy residential area full of old Mexican people and yuppie young parents…not even gentrified, it started out this way) and boasting what slurs they can say because of where they "grew up." It was just so sad and embarrassing. If I could turn back time I'd probably call the neighboring Mexican women to send out their husbands and scare them. Maybe even bait them into calling me a spic, haha. I feel bad typing this but I truly with all my heart hope they get shot buying their stupid drugs in """the ghetto"""

No. 540475

My boyfriend spent three years without saying a single word when he was a child and doesn't know why. He has problems expressing/initiating expressions of love like hugging, saying "I love you" and thinks it's connected to that because he didn't develop properly. It's not just laziness because I've been with a plain shitty scrote before but I'm still so frustrated having to deal with this. He's good at communicating everything else but romantic feelings so I feel more like a friend than a girlfriend.

No. 540480

>>540475
There’s a speech disorder called child apraxia of the speech. He Probably had that. Some people don’t like being lovey dovey, don’t take it so personally or move on if that’s not the relationship you want. Autism or not, do you really think him having a “disorder” should excuse that you don’t want that type of love expression in your relationship? Don’t just except it because he might have a disability, he can change and act differently even if autistic; if he’s high functioning there’s no excuse to not understand your needs. Coming from an ASD person.

No. 540484

>>540480
He recognizes the issue but doesn't know what to do. And I don't know what to do either because I feel like either way I lose. If he does change, it won't feel like it's genuine. I'm not super lovey dovey but I like saying a few words through the day, complimenting, making the other feel appreciated and desired. I'm sure there's a disorder involved specially due to his past but I'll see how things go and if it goes nowhere I may have to break up because I don't feel my emotional needs are being met.

No. 540488

File: 1586796792053.jpg (22.24 KB, 530x390, 1583804790636.jpg)

I have yet to see a single source that backs the claim that "schools are failing boys" and that's why girls are doing better at school. The rise of neckbeard NEETs tells me that the problem starts with the failings of their parents.

No. 540497

My neighbour beats the absolute piss out of her five month old puppy. I thought for a while that the dog was just crying but it turns out she's hitting it to the point of injury. I just reported her to the authorities, but I'm still shaky from filming her doing it so boldly outside but holy fuck.
Seeing shit like that makes me vomit pure bile, I know she does the same to her 1.5 year old child but child protective services still give her the benefit of the doubt. They constantly visit but never catch her in her vile acts. It's so sickening. She's 19, and because of government handouts never has to work, has her own single bedroom apartment, a new puppy, as many drugs as she can trade sex for and a new gun-toting boyfriend every month.
I don't know what I can do for the suffering except film and report. Film and report. It seems futile, and every day I hear her hitting that puppy or child is a day they've waited too long for help. Fuck

I just need to type so I can stop shaking and to stop vomiting, no idea why stress makes me puke like this. It's like a stream of piss escapes my throat

No. 540498

>>540497
You're a good person anon, sorry you have to see and hear that kind of vile stuff

No. 540510

My fucking sister really out there trying to plan a baby shower/naming party shit, inviting people who are goddamn nurses and doctors, saying shit like "Well, just wanted to invite you early on, so there isn't any weddings or such you might have to attend, I invited you first". Riddled with passive agressive facebook mom emoji usage whenever these nurses try their hardest to say nicely that they will put the date in their calendar but this is really not the best time to even think about this. I am fucking embarrassed, disgusted and so tired of her narc ass behaviour, she just cannot understand what is cow-ish in this and I won't be the one telling her that. I swear to god some moms just make kids to get attention and freak out once they realise no one cares. I sound harsh but she is so impossible to deal with even online.

No. 540511

>>540497
I'm sorry, anon. You're doing all that you (legally) can to help, even if it feels like nothing is happening right now.
Assholes like that always get theirs in the end. Something's got to give.

No. 540523

File: 1586805128754.jpg (27.56 KB, 400x413, 1475980412815.jpg)

I wish I could cut all my hair and walk around with a buzzcut and look good while doing so. I'm so sick of my hair. It's not even long to begin with, just reaches my shoulders but it gets greasy so fast. I could take a normal shower and the next day it'd be already greasy as hell and it's so tiring because it leads to me taking a shower every day despite reading online that it's not healthy for the hair. Ugh, I envy girls with buzzcuts so much because they're all so beautiful. Even if I had one, I'd look so weird and my face shape isn't the prettiest either so sucks to be me.

I also always sweat too much and even when I don't feel hot to begin with. I could sit in a room with running air conditioner and still sweat because my armpits are fucked up. I heard that getting botox in there helps but I don't know if I have the money and patience to do that (+ it also apparently hurts a lot). Seriously cannot even wear the same sweater or shirt for more than a day without it getting soaked in sweat under the armpits and smelling awful. I do use deodorant and all the necessities to tone down the smell, but it's very exhausting.

Another thing is that I have natural pitch black hair so body hair is an absolute nightmare for me because it's just everywhere. It doesn't even matter if I wax or epilate or shave, it always grows out worse than before. It even had me cancelling my hookups at the last minute out of insecurity and fear of disgust.

Why is my body this way? Have no idea but I hate it so much.

No. 540538

>>540523
Do you know if you have POS by any chance?

No. 540546

>>540538
This is such a stupid question but what exactly does POS stand for? And no, I am not diagnosed with anything at all.

No. 540547

>>540546
i think they meant PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome)

No. 540550

File: 1586810279601.png (42.87 KB, 787x455, yk4wgydyfpv01.png)

>ground up the last of my weed
>intended to take a couple month's break after this
>but I dropped the grinder
>the weed bits got into the carpet

No. 540552

>>540550
RIP anon. I’m very sorry to hear of your loss, hope the weed fairy sprinkles some magic in your life soon.

No. 540553

>>540523
>>540538
I can relate to this 100%! I usually soak the affected shirts' underarms in alcohol (or spray handsanitizer on them). This helps neutralizing the bacteria that causes the odor.

The question about PCOS got me thinking…can one have PCOS without cysts?? I looked up the symptoms and I have some of them (irregular period, hair loss, sweating), but I have no cysts.

No. 540561

This is a silly thing to be upset about because it involves Reddit.

I am so fucking sick of people posting their neighbors houses on reddit with 4+ cars out front and calling them pos and making it ot he front page. I'm sick of people in comments bragging about calling the cops on their neighbors for 'excessively' leaving the house often detailing the amount these STRANGERS are getting fast food or w/e –all with thousands of upvotes

none of this makes you morally superior, none of that is your business and im so sick of it

I went to my moms house to bring her yeast, since all the stores in her neighborhood are sold out, and the next day one of the neighbors left a typed letter in her mailbox accusing her of endangering their lives. PERFECT STRANGERS that my mother will have no contact with because they saw an extra car in the drive way

i understand we all need to be conscientious and practice social distancing but i feel there comes a point where you are responsible for your household alone and do not have the right to morally brigade strangers

ugh im sorry, it just makes me so frustrated

No. 540565

I really hate my name so much. I know it’s a small meaningless thing in the grand scheme of actual problems people have but I just wish I had any other name. I would be so happy if I could change it but I won’t because I don’t want to have to explain it to people and I just feel like it would be weird to do. It’s not even a uncommon or embarrassing name but I’ve just always felt so uncomfortable with it.

No. 540575

>>540565
Can totally relate. My name is foreign and starts with a "Ö" and nearly everyone who's not from my home country doesn't know how to pronounce it or does a terrible job at it. Been living in the US for years now and whenever someone asks for my name, I just give them another one and say I'd prefer it if they called me that.

It's such a pain in the ass to explain them why I want them to call me that though.

No. 540582

File: 1586813942391.jpg (226.7 KB, 800x976, retail-noisy-loud_noise-quiet-…)

spergy vent incoming sorry, just pissed off about my neighbour during this pandemic. was gonna post in the covid 19 thread but this is a rant

I am honestly so annoyed with him. he moved in early february and has been a pain right from the start. he slams his fucking door every time he leaves the house, scaring the shit out of me. I think he had corona cause he isolated himself a few weeks back and was coughing a ton, but had people coming around to his house constantly. I can understand a family member bringing food but these were random people, around 5 at least every day. lots of young guys on their own, going in the house and then leaving anywhere from 2-10 minutes later. figured he must be a drug dealer. all this time while probably having the virus. so stupid

in the past 2 weeks there's been 2 occasions where he's been playing loud music until gone 3.30 in the morning with around 3 other people/guests in the house. 3 men left at 3.45 ish this morning and we're loud as fuck while doing so. my mum had work today since she cares for the elderly, I guess he assumed no one would be at work today since it was easter monday.

the first time he was playing loud music he was asked politely to turn it down (this was about 1.30 am) and the music volume lowered for about 10 minutes before being turned up again

I don't know how long he's planning to stay since this house is owned by his dad. honestly thought he'd just been placed here while he was quarantining himself but I think he'll at least be here for a X amount of months we have to be in lockdown, if not for good. I don't want to deal with these late nights of loud music.

he shouldn't be having people around to his house whatsoever and it's fucking annoying how he's got people coming and going like this. can people just follow the rules and stop being fucking selfish?

No. 540593

>>540582
I retaliated against my neighbour (after exhausting all legal and tenant/landlord board options, which act very slowly) and bought a concert-grade bass amplifier. There is no speaker sold at any tech store that can overpower my amp at 40% volume. I played 40+ hours of live improvisation music and exploratory jazz STRAIGHT. Did not sleep, did not leave my house. He tried to overpower it twice before leaving his home, (coughing up a storm, obviously) and never playing music again.

I keep it just in case he feels brave again, but he realized pretty quickly that he'll either have to spend money to be outrageous with me, or just shut the fuck up and we both be quiet.

I really recommend being an asshole if your by-laws in your city are closed, or if your landlord is a lazy cunt.

No. 540594

>>540593
Ty for this post anon. Actually feels very wholesome.

No. 540596

>>540575
I can relate too, my name is very girly and sounds bitchy, it is the same as a very popular flower (not Rose lol). I am a fuckin blunt tomboy and it doesn't suit me at all. I cringe every time I hear it and I want to change it to something more neutral or fitting my personality.

No. 540603

File: 1586817460286.jpg (45.42 KB, 400x400, 1586120992779.jpg)

>>540593
I love you anon.
Fuck these retarded apes who have no sense of common decency or self awareness.

No. 540606

>>540582
Where do you two live, in a carton box? How do you even hear him slamming the door?

No. 540607

>>540593
>>540593
this is glorious, I wish I could've seen a livestream of this

No. 540614

I know some people realize their sexuality from a young age aka have their first girl crush when they're like 8 years old and then grow up to be a lesbian etc., but I came across a 12 year old saying she's bisexual and using "she/they" pronouns and I just? Cannot believe this? You are literally 12 years old. That's not a long time. How can you be so sure that you are bisexual when you still have so much room to grow and explore? You're literally in middle school. Also don't even get me started on the "she/they" bullshit which is absolutely embarrassing and sad.

No. 540615

>>540614
I mean if she’s wrong she can say differently at a later age? You wouldn’t question a 12 year old saying they’re straight

No. 540616

>>540614
Every child is educated to start identifying with sex-based pronouns and hetero and you people never screech about that being too early to know you're hetero or cis. Stfu.

No. 540619

>>540616
>you people never screech about that being too early to know you're hetero or cis
I'm bisexual myself you clown.

Also,
>or cis
Am I supposed to support some 12 year old who thinks she's "female aligned nonbinary" or what? No thanks.

>>540615
You also have a point with the "You wouldn’t question a 12 year old saying they’re straight" but her being "she/they" just pretty much tells me she's doing it for the tumblr politics and how ~woke~ it is now that every second person on the web is either bisexual or transgender. These identity/sexuality people had me brainwashed into thinking I was some genderfluid faggot when I was her age (around 13) so I know exactly what I am talking about. Also, have you even seen how many young children are out there either identifying as "asexual" or "pansexual" and all that shit? This is literally the same. Watch her develop from bisexual to ~grey ace pansexual~ in the span of 2 years. Cannot wait!

No. 540621

>>540619
Yeah, unpopular opinion on lolcow I guess but I don’t actually have any problem with people feeling more comfortable identifying as non binary or whatever, especially 12 year olds who are just figuring themselves out. Your experience is your experience but it’s unfair to project it onto some random 12 year old and dishonest and honestly homophobic to act as if there’s a bunch of gay people trying to ‘brainwash’ 12 year olds into thinking they’re gay or bi or whatever. Some people can have a more confusing time coming to terms with their sexuality and still be confused well into late adulthood and some people know from extremely young.

No. 540627

>>540616
>cis
gtfo tranny

No. 540674

File: 1586828198105.png (197.65 KB, 498x334, 77568762.png)

>>540565
My name is Morgana and I always thought my name was cute and life was fine until that stupid fucking weeb game with the retard cat came out.

No. 540677

>>540627
you can't fathom people with XX chromosomes might disagree with you, I guess. Rage away femcel.

No. 540678

>>540674
I’ve never heard of that game but I think Morgana is a cute name!

No. 540687

>>540627
I don’t get it do you people like not leave the house or something? Because if you did you would know the majority of biological women are not gender critical rad fem types or anything close to it? So why are you so unable to fathom women disagreeing with you that they’re always a tranny or a man when literally the majority of women disagree with you

No. 540691

>>540687
Are you aware on the site we are on? This is literally the least place where you can complain over a bunch of meanies not treating twannies right!!11!1

If you were on Twitter or Crystal Cafe or anything, then yeah sure, but we are not.

No. 540697

>>540691
Yeah last time I checked I’m not on a radfem site? I’m on lolcow which exists to gossip about lolcows, hence the name. If you just want to sperg that random anons who disagree with you must be trans or men maybe take it to asheragarden or whatever it’s called.

No. 540698

I believe one of my friends is pissy at me because she asked me privately to curate a makeup shopping list for her based on stuff I was getting when our group was discussing buying new stuff. Shit like that overwhelms me, and I'm not a doormat so I don't respond to requests for spoon feeding with enthusiasm. I came back to it in the morning and asked her for specifics, like what it is that she was looking for, what does she like, etc. I wanted to help her but I don't agree that she just gets to copy me, that's not doing herself a favor anyway as we look nothing alike and she'll need different things regardless.
She left it on read all day today. Cause she goes into moods and ignores people when she's upset. She plays the aloof and naive game but I think she's more aware of what she's doing than she lets on. I mean me being her personal shopping assistant, another friend being her hairdresser, and one more being her clothing stylist, she benefits the most. I think she likes being fussed over but uh, I don't do for people who haven't ever done for me lmao.

No. 540701

>>540698
I feel you people like that are difficult because they’re not actually doing anything outright so if you confront them it makes you look crazy and they can pretend they don’t know what you’re talking about. If it’s a friendship that means a lot to you I would just be honest that you find things like that overwhelming and that you sometimes feel like the friendship is unequal and see how she reacts, she may genuinely be unaware

No. 540719

>>540691
you say "we" as if this site is a monolith. the meta discourse alone shows we are not.

No. 540721

i honestly hate my dad right now. Well hate is strong just highly upset. He got himself really sick and his illness is now affecting his mobility. he moved to another state a few years ago right before his mother (who I was helping to take care of) passed away from the same illness. im really fucknig frustrated because I feel like after this corona is over he is going to try and move back to our state and have us take care of him. Its not right because 9/10 its going to be my little sister and I because we are the most financially stable. But it isnt fair that we have to sacrifice the rest of our twenties and potential life to take care of him because he decided to not take his health seriously. We are already going to have to pay for his medical bills and shit probably on top of our own bills. Maybe im being selfish but when shit got tough for us when we were younger my dad was barely there and if he was he lowkey made things worse. Like i dont hate him im just extremely depressed/annoyed because all of this couldve been prevented. I know i sound selfish as hell but I spent my early twenties helping to take care of my grandma and now i have to be stressed with taking care of him? Its not right at the fuck all. I have cousins who i never even spoken to calling me and telling me we have to figure his insurance out. Like I dont even know how to do that on my own. My life was finally starting to get on track and then COVID happened and then my dad getting sick right after. So when this ends (which i hope it ends soon because my heart breaks for everyone affected by this virus). Instead of breathing a sigh of relief my stress/depression will only worsen. I feel more bad for my little sister because she is younger than me and shouldnt be having to spend her 20s taking care of a dude who barely took care of her. I hate men lol

No. 540723

My fucking womanchild of a sister is complaining about how her job is using her sick hours to pay (even though she’s most likely is never going to use them because she’s leaving that job because her store is closing). Meanwhile, my regular job hasn’t offered sick hour pay and probably won’t. I had to take a crappy warehouse side job (10 hour shifts overnight) to make ends meet. I’m also in school (moved to online) and managing the two is fucking exhausted. But she doesn’t do shit during the day ever since quarantine took place. I’ve also been on top of filing for unemployment (even spend several hours last week calculating my earnings from the last few years) but she hasn’t done shit about her employment. She doesn’t even have an ID so she can’t verify herself but assumes that she’s going to get money eventually. I fucking hate this bitch.

No. 540724

>>540677
>>540687
>>540697
>>540719
>Any posters with a phallus, do not come here for validation or to announce yourselves.
go dilate lmao(hi scrote)

No. 540730

>>540615
You are a retarded faggot. The vast majority of people (including children) are straight. There is nothing wrong with using a statistically correct heuristic, stop trying to argue in bad faith.

No. 540731

>>540730
My argument isn’t that most people aren’t straight? It’s that you wouldn’t question a 12 year old knowing they’re straight and that’s I don’t think it’s impossible for 12 year olds to know they’re not that’s all

No. 540736

>>535754
I was talking about some funny childhood stories with a friend and out of nowhere I remembered some sexually deviant shit I did as a little kid to myself. I had to end the call because I'm so fucking disgusted and shocked, what the fuck was wrong with me? I was never sexually abused as a kid so what the fuck? I'm seriously so disturbed right now. Goddamn I hate myself, I want to crawl out of my own skin.

No. 540739

Since I was 16 and found out I’m intersex I’ve felt like I have no reason to live. I have a lot of male secondary sex characteristics and truly monstrous ambiguous genitalia. Before I knew there was anything wrong with how I am below the belt, this guy I knew went down on me. It was my first sexual experience and I was really happy it happened then I found out he told all of his guy friends that I had a macro clit and he felt like he was blowing a toddler the whole time. I also experience vaginismus and I know lots of normal girls experience that I can’t help but feel like being intersex has something to do with it. As if that’s not bad enough I look masculine as shit on the surface too. Manhands, linebacker shoulders, insane amounts of body hair and I’m like 5’9 or 5’10 or something. Even if I looksmaxxed and men started being attracted to me they’d leave me as soon as they found out what I’m like on bottom. I guess I could get some surgeries and start dilating but any surgery I could get to fix how my genitals look would ultimately just make it so I don’t feel anything during sex therefore defeating the purpose and most girls who’ve been cured of vaginismus through dilating just end up closing up again anyway then it’s back to square one. I could choose to pursue bisexual men and sexually degenerate straight men but bi men aren’t very common and prefer men a lot more and sexually degenerate straight men are shitty people. I used to use daydreaming about boys as a cope for all this but lately reality always seeps through and reminds me that I’d never be able to have a boyfriend and that I’m stuck in this body forever. This is no way to live. Nobody is ever gonna love me. I plan on killing myself by the end of this year because there is no way anything is ever going to get better for me.

No. 540740

>>540739
I know this is going to sound like an empty platitude, and the person who you had your first sexual experience with sounds awful and I think how you feel is totally understandable and valid - but theres so much more to people than just their body and there are honestly men who would love you for who you are and won't care about how your genitals look. A close friend of mine suffered from vaginismus and considers herself cured and has had no further problems (she did this through dilating and it happened relatively quickly, within a few months). I really hope you don't kill yourself, and are able to feel more comfortable within yourself somehow bc like you said it's no way to live, and I'm sorry you've had to go through what you have

No. 540744

>>540739
There is more to life than what men think of you, and it is worth living even without sex or relationships. Why couldn't it get better? What about friends, hobbies, your career, learning new things, pets, etc… don't you want anything other than a boyfriend? God knows society wants us to feel like we're worthless if we aren't attractive and don't get married/have kids, so I can't blame you for feeling that way, but that's not our reality if we don't let it be. Reality is that we have value whether men want to fuck us or not, and we can have full lives without them.

I'm celibate and will probably never have a serious relationship, I don't feel like I'm missing out on much. In fact I feel like I've dodged a bullet.

No. 540750

I think my brothers best friend, someone I have known since I was 6, is in love with me and it makes me want to curl up in a ball and die.

No. 540754

>>540621
>Your experience is your experience but it’s unfair to project it onto some random 12 year old and dishonest and honestly homophobic to act as if there’s a bunch of gay people trying to ‘brainwash’ 12 year olds into thinking they’re gay or bi or whatever.
This this this. My bf's cousin is lesbian and we all knew since she was 10 or 11, even when I guess she didn't. She had the biggest crush on all these girl friends and kept talking about them non stop, I know that doesn't have to mean anything but it was a high possibility and know that she's 18 and in her first relationship…confirmed.
Anon just sounds triggered because maybe she discovered her sexuality a little bit late and doesn't want people who's insecure to claim things they don’t are. Again, everyone’s experience is different and she shouldn’t judge generalise.

No. 540756

>>540739
Nobody is looking at your clit, or below the belt parts. They are all ugly and weird. Penis and balls are nasty, vaginas are sloppy, and clots are just a mystery in general. I'm sorry you had one person traumatize you, and that's fucked up. But hang in there. Total find someone who appreciates you for all that you are. So dont settle for some degenerate, take time, experiment, feel uncomfortable, feel pleased. You'll find someone worth it in the end if you dont give uo

No. 540760

>>535754
Is anyone else kept up at night thinking about every mean/bitchy thing anyone has ever said to you as a "joke" and it making you wonder why they felt that they could even speak to you like that while also hating yourself for not cutting those people off or going off on them when you had the chance? Yeah…. I think I'm going stir crazy from lack of sunlight.

No. 540762

I went on a few of those "amount of calories needed to lose weight" calculator websites and they all say that I have to eat no more than 1000 calories a day?? And that when I reach my goal I have to eat 1200 to maintain my weight? How is that fucking fair I see these skinny minnies (I'm skinny too but shit I have to watch what I eat) eating whatever they want and when I say that I mean like 2000 calories per day and being stick thin. I have no life food is all I have god dammit.

No. 540764

File: 1586850833830.jpg (18.85 KB, 347x313, neae6z.jpg)

Me: Calmly tells my mom that her never saying she loved me growing up and also not controlling my online and video game usage or checking to make sure I was doing my homework really fucked me up emotionally both then and now in my adulthood

Mom: Ok but did I hit or starve you?

No. 540766

>>540762
If you're already skinny, obviously you would have to eat abnormally little to lose weight. idk what else you expected.

No. 540769

>>540766
I was being generous when I called myself skinny only because I didn't want people thinking I was obese and complaining that I couldn't eat all day and night. I weigh 130 and I'm 5'4, so by no means skinny but I'm technically at a healthy weight. 1200 calories as a daily practice just seems unhealthy/restrictive.

No. 540771

>>540619
Whereas I believe that you can know if you're straight or not at 12 because I sure enough knew I was a big fat lesbo at that age (and this was way before Tumblr or social media because I'm old), you do have a point. I don't mind a 12-year old experimenting with their sexuality and claiming to be bi/gay and then growing up to be straight, but due to the presence of online communities there is a real danger of people grooming kids to buy into the darker side of the "queer" community as they're much more likely to be desperate for support than their heterosexual peers and there are a lot of people willing to abuse that opportunity. Plenty of young gay boys end up being exploited by older predatory men because they're the only ones willing to validate their sexuality, and a lot of young trans-identifying girls end up being abused by men who know how tender and hungry for attention they are. It's interfering with their personal growth and exploration because they're not allowing options to try out, they're straight out indoctrinating young people into an ideology where hating your new puberty-ridden body means you're experiencing gender dysphoria and having a best friend of the same gender is proof that you're gay.

During my teen years (mid 2000s) being bi was the trendy identity of the period but you weren't pressured into it or forced to commit to the lifestyle in the same way identity politics play out today. Social media makes the experience much more intense and immersive because you find your peers there and end up being isolated from everyone else, left without the experience of actually meeting new people and ideals. You don't get to experiment in an open world and end up living your teen years in a cult being bombarded with brainwashing. What's also really worrying me is that it's an ample opportunity for all the munchie parents to wear their queer-identifying kids as accessories. Adults shouldn't interfere with kids trying to figure their sexuality out, period. No matter if it's a bible-thumping conservative redneck trying to pray the gay away or an ultra-progressive hipster parent carrying a "My 3-year old is gay and trans and I'm proud" sign at a pride parade.

12-year olds identifying as "asexuals" is fucking baffling to me though. You aren't supposed to have sexual experiences at that age to begin with. What the hell.

No. 540772

>>540762
Often the "I can eat whatever I want and stay skinny tee hee" people overestimate the amount of food they actually eat. They might gobble down only 1300kcal worth of food each day and still think it's worth of 2000kcal. Genetics play some sort of a role when it comes to fat distribution and metabolics (gene RCAN1) but I think it's usually just about the diet.

What is your goal though, 1200 seems ridiculously small. Are you like 5ft aiming for a weight of 80 pounds or something because that sounds like ana-chan goals.

No. 540773

>>540769
Fair enough, maybe check other calculators because I find that some lowball it and results vary. And a little bit of exercise would most likely bring it up to a tolerable intake.

The numbers might be right though because dieting as a woman honestly fucking sucks, esp for short girls or when you're thin enough to have a low BMR. Our energy consumption is way too low for standard portions and meals, you get no flexibility or wiggle room the way men do when they diet.

No. 540775

>>540769
1200 is definitely not enough. 1000 is the daily recommendation for a fucking toddler.

No. 540777

I hate my issues with food, the only thing that keeps my weight in order is swapping food for alcohol which is worse. The food in my house growing up was always locked up, portioned out meticulously by my stepdad, and I was straight up denied snacks when I was actually hungry. We were also poor and lived very rural. It's not even like I was overweight growing up, quite the opposite. When I moved out and got as far away as I could I ended up living within in a block of a 7-Eleven and multiple fast food places. I had freedom and money for the first time in my life and I gained 70lbs easy in just over 2 years. I was only able to lose the weight when I swapped binge eating for binge drinking. With the pandemic happening I am having to face this head on without easy access to food or booze due to my immune system. Idk what I am even getting at. Fuck shitty parents I guess.

No. 540787

>>540775
a toddler is growing, this is a shitty comparison

No. 540792

My husband's annoying AF godsister was complaining to me abut how her life long best friend dropped her because she tried to steal her new boyfriend. I told her that's a super shitty thing for a friend to do and she deserved to be dropped. She got pissed and left, and now my mother in law is texting me, bitching that I made her really upset.

Maybe she wouldn't be such a shitty person if y'all didn't enable the fuck out of her by making anyone who criticizes her the bad guy???

No. 540793

NTA, but myfitnesspal has also suggested I eat 1200 calories if I want to lose any weight. I’m about 120.

1200 calories is good for those who aren’t gym rats, or otherwise active at work etc.

No. 540799

>>540793
That's literally as low as mfp allows you to go with unrealistic weight loss goals. You'll honestly feel like shit over a long period of time.

No. 540802

>>540799
NTA but pretty sure 1200 is just an arbitrary, random number that has become commonly accepted as fact with no real basis, it's one of those diet myths like 'starvation mode'.

The fact is that very short people have low energy expenditure because that's all they need, and a caloric deficit has to correspond with that. To use an extreme example - little people/dwarfs/etc can only eat about half the average intake to maintain a normal weight, and to lose weight they would have to go on a very low calorie diet. It's way too simplistic to say 1200 is the lower limit for absolutely everyone. It's not exactly practical but that doesn't mean it's not enough food if you're tiny and not very active.

No. 540808

I'm about to burst a fucking blood vessel not completely blowing up at a mutual friend for being a horrible dad. He's in quarantine with his infant son, 6 year old daughter, and wife- who he decided to DUMP on fucking Easter because it was "life or death". All he ever posts on the group chat is pics of the alcohol he buys and he's constantly on some video game. He bragged about "not wanting to deal with his son for a day" and called him a little n-word and laughed about him crying. He recounts a story of his daughter crying and throwing his PS3 because he wouldn't pay attention to her "funny". He literally doesn't deserve to have kids and is such a massive child I want to beat him to death. Reminds me of my own dad that ignored the hell out of me and it rubs me the wrong way. I know I don't know what it's like to have kids and am only getting a snapshot of everything but I fucking hate what I see

No. 540811

>>540792
Wtf is a godsister

No. 540812

File: 1586864589940.gif (80.87 KB, 500x479, bf85267bf76b59362c81266cd252c8…)

I had a friend call me fake bisexual, well more specifically party bisexual, a few months ago and its still hammering in my head, Im still struggling to figure out my sexuality and that hurt so much it even put me off from enjoying fxf content because I just feel this dark pit in my chest like im doing something i shouldn't do.

I don't date women because my parents are too backwards to even understand the concept of bisexuality (no seriously for them either you're straight or gay), and would disown me for being gay, on top of that I just think it wouldn't be fair to force a girl I like into a secret relationship for the sake of my pleasure, so I stick to commitless party make outs.

No. 540816

>>540812
They sound like a shit friend if they think that about you. Just because you're not open about your sexuality doesn't mean you're "faking it" or you're "partly bisexual" (wtf does that even mean, though? You're either bisexual or you're not) and I 100% respect you for not wanting to enter a same-sex relationship where you would feel like you're hurting your partner. I would suggest taking some time out to examine and think about what you like and don't like (sexuality-wise) and just remember that at the end of the day, your sexuality doesn't change who you are as a person. I wish you the best of luck, anon :)

No. 540817

>>540812
Your "friend" is a little shit, you don't owe anyone explanations about your sexuality, who the fuck cares. And I'm sorry, but this person probably knows your parents and knows they're homophobic so judging you for not dating women is even shittier.

Seriously, who cares if you choose to date men or women. Even if your parents weren't homophobic it'd still be a perfectly valid choice. I'm bi but I don't date men because I don't like them generally and they tend to make me feel like garbage, does that make me a lesbian? No. Your sexual orientation is about you and only you.

No. 540818

>>540816
Nta, but she didn't say "partly" bisexual, she said
>PARTY bisexual
Which sounds extremely fun to be.
God, I want to go to a party and just touch and hug and smooch everyone there, I can't stand this isolation anymore aaaaaaaa

No. 540831

>>540811
Your parent's goddaughter.

No. 540832

>>540818
God yes.
When this is all over I want to organize a bi party.

No. 540837

>>540831
Ohhh makes sense i guess, sounds fucking retarded though.

No. 540838


No. 540846

File: 1586874164789.jpg (41.37 KB, 820x490, rilakkuma-hello-kitty-bear-san…)

I have really fallen for this guy , he's really cute has never made me feel uncomfortable.
Three days ago he texted me that he has to go back to japan the next day.
I cried the whole day then he called me at 11 pm and said he didn't have to go back till next year.
We went on another date today and he told me he had some bad new that he has to leave this friday.
He has to go back to school in japan or he might not get another chance.
I was silently crying through dinner and the walk we went on after.

I feel very sad and exhausted , fuck the japanese government

No. 540848

Since I've moved in with my boyfriend two years ago we've had our upstairs neighbour bother us, and it's gotten worse in the past few months. We live in a ground floor flat while he lives in an apartment building next door, and his flat is right above ours.

At the beginning he'd only knock on our door and say he's searching for the neighbours that have been making noise and waking him up at night, he'd try to look into the flat but he wasn't aggressive; I figured from his weird attitude that he might be a junkie looking for a fix (we have a lot of those here). We knew for a fact we weren't making the noise he complained about (he said they bang on the ceiling, but our ceiling is too high for us to possibly reach; we also know we don't put music on speakers or yell like he mentions, we try hard to be quiet), so we thought he was lying and had other motives, but we weren't too concerned.

Recently though he's done some frightening stuff, and we had to call the police. Months ago he came in the early evening when I was alone and stood outside for ten whole minutes, knocking on all our windows and our front door so hard the walls were shaking.

Then weeks after he came when both of us were here and my boyfriend decided to open the door. The neighbour started shouting about how he "knows we're doing this on purpose", calling us bastards, saying we stay up all night just to keep him awake. When my boyfriend tried to close the door, he punched it open. I intervened and told him I'd call the police if he didn't leave or at least stop yelling, told him he was being rude, and somehow that changed his whole demeanour, he suddenly calmed down, apologised and left.

We talked to the police the next day, detailed all our encounters with him and they suggested he might not be mentally stable, and that we should just ignore him. They didn't think him punching the door was a big deal or counted as being aggressive, either.

We've ignored him, but with everything being locked down, he's gotten worse. Last week-end he woke us up by chanting the word "neighbour" repeatedly, right in front of our window. I heard someone ask him what he was doing and he explained some "bastards have been doing this to him, going out at night to yell and keep him awake, so he's doing this now to check whether it's us or not". Then he banged on our other next door neighbour's door and I heard him ask her whether our bedroom window was part of her flat, she said no, he left. He banged on our door and went back into his building.

Now everyday he's been banging on either his floor or furniture for hours. I have no clue if he's doing this on purpose or not, but it's hard to ignore it when I'm so worried over this. When we go out for groceries I'm always scared we'll encounter him, and that without a door between us, he'll punch me or my boyfriend instead.

When I tell people about this they express compassion for him and tell me I should understand that he probably has untreated schizophrenia, has terrible delusions and can't help being aggressive. Rationally I understand having delusions must be terrifying, but I'm angry my worries aren't being taken seriously. Ignoring him doesn't work, he's only getting angrier and I fear he'll try to break in or attack us outside. We'd like to move out some time this year but because of the virus, that's unlikely to happen. Pepper spray is illegal to carry here, so there's absolutely nothing I can do.

No. 540851

>>540838
Kinda like, why the hell would i know or care who my parents' godchildren are but these must be some cultural differences, kinda like americans talk about 67687th cousins and stuff.

No. 540854

>>540851
do you not know what godchildren are?

No. 540855

>>540846
These sound like very obvious lies,
>next day
>next year
>next week

He may need to go to Japan but any real plans will not change so wildly in 24hr.

No. 540856

>>540854
Of course i do, i'm not an idiot

No. 540860

>>540812
I mean it does sound like you're a party bisexual if you're only bisexual at parties?

Most relationships are secret anyway with online communication. It would be pretty easy to make a new female "friend" and meet up with them often without your parents suspecting anything.

No. 540866

>>540846
Do you not see how sketchy your own summary sounds

No. 540867

>>540772
this, plus a lot of naturally skinny people have a smaller appetite. I know a lot of people who eat whatever they want and stay skinny and they usually just feel like they're eating a lot because they're able to eat until they're full every time they eat, because it doesn't take much food to satisfy them.

No. 540868

>>540860
Im in my mid twenties anon so an actual relationship would entail more than just meeting up occasionally, i already have marriage and moving in together in mind as goals.
Would be quite strange to have a gal pal roommate and suspiciously no boyfriend until the day my parents my die, they are homophobic no stupid lol they would realize im dating a woman.

No. 540869

>>540860
anon a "party bisexual" is specifically a girl who makes out with other girls at parties because she wants male attention.

No. 540888

>>540721
I mean, you don't really have to, no one is forcing you

No. 540890

>>540848
Why did you stop calling the cops? Just call them every single time it happens and they'll will deal with it sooner or later just to get you out of their ass.

No. 540895

File: 1586883714128.gif (3.13 MB, 320x234, EDEFCA27-C675-4099-8609-3885DC…)

I’m pretty unhappy with the degree im studying in university and I dont know what to do. I’m studying German Studies, and while i have always wanted to learn german I feel like I’ve learnt WAY more on my own than going to class. On top of that, most of the stuff I have to study I’m not even interested in, my teachers suck, and last semester I failed almost all my exams.
With the whole quarantine thing it’s just gonna get worse for me. I can’t study at home, I can’t motivate myself to attend any online classes and the way my uni is handling the situation is just… a mess. My grades aren’t going to get any better, just worse.
So here’s my dilema: I don’t wanna drop out, but I also don’t know what exactly I want to study. I’ve thought about doing English Studies, since, at least, I’m fluent and I will be able to follow the classes lol
The problem is that I don’t know what’s the process I have to take, I can’t find any info online and my uni is closed so I can’t even call.
Anyway, my other option is to just drop out, become a hermit in some obscure forest and survive by eating random berries and mushrooms I find.

No. 540918

Next time I need to get something off of my chest I will come straight to lolcow since whenever I talk to my partner he just tried to be logical and analytical about the situation

And I though I do appreciate that most times, sometimes you just wanna vent or rant judgement free, especially if the wound is still fresh.

No. 540919

>>540903
I knew from a very young age that I was not liked in my family. When I was young and forced to go to holiday gatherings I knew that I was different. If they weren't my blood relations we'd never organically connect or interact in the world at all, in fact I'd probably be someone they'd bully as they already had no problem talking shit.

I get a weird mixture of jealously and discomfort at witnessing families being so genuinely kind and affectionate towards each other. Because IF I did get that when I was a child, it was for show only. In my teen years I wrote off a fuckton of what were probably nice families because I assumed they were like mine==petty cunts and abusers to each other behind closed doors.

No. 540920

>>540606
I hear him slamming the door because we're neighbours, next door neighbours

No. 540924

>>540895
Thing is, if life has taught me something is that, while a degree doesnt mean you absolutely know your shit, its a legal document to back up your knowledge.

Maybe the process of obtaining the german studies degree isn't so pleasant, but we all go through shit just to obtain a dumb piece of paper so we dont end up in the lower economy tiers. (Electromechanical engineer here, most people whom I graduated with didnt learn shit, but since they have the degree they're in decent job positions).

imho, its sounds like you want to take the "easy" way out by doing English studies, but wouldnt you end up frustrated with it too since the only real passion you have for it is based on being fluent? Maybe do some actual research before picking up another degree that you will end up dropping because of not knowing the program you actually have to follow.

No. 540930

While I'm really happy that most people can file for unemployment now as part time workers, or when they are unemployed, I want mine too.
It hurts to know that people get to stay home safe and have the assurance that they will be financially taken care of, while the rest of us have to report to work for the same ol wage with no added pay. Just doesn't seem fair, and being told "hurr at least you have a job!" seems like a disingenuous argument to get people to shut up about the inequality happening there.

No. 540931

>>540762
Just go to the gym and build muscle so you can eat more. That's what fit girls do.

No. 540932

I wished i was happier, i wished all of my friendships were perfect, no back stabbers, no tears and fearing that one day they will leave me or get bored of me, not turning away from me when they saw a glimpse of who i am…instead of leaving can u be there for me like i always be there for you? Is it too difficult to ask? I guess im not worth it anymore no matter how hard i tried, no matter how i overlook your imperfections and only see the best in you but you always see the worst in me and blame me for every single thing that i do, even the smallest and innocuous event that i didnt even remember. You think you have the moral high ground and dance on the fact that you get rid of me so easily, laughing, mocking and taunt me even when everything is over. This doesnt hurt me like it used to but what goes around comes around, i hope you get what you deserve or even twice as much.

No. 540934

I forgot to mention that my only way to keep studying is by getting scholarships, which you only get by passing passing 90% of the credits, so yeah, if I do end up changing my degree I would be taking the easy route. I’m currently on my 2nd year, on the 3rd year we will be taking all of our classes in german, and I’m 100% not ready for that. I can’t be wasting my money like this.
Me being fluent in English isn’t really the only reason why I would choose that degree. I know that what I want to study is languages, it’s what I’m good at. I just choose the wrong degree because I trusted what it said on my uni’s website about how it doesn’t matter if you have never studied that language before, when teachers expect the students to, at least, have an A2. Most people that take this degree end up dropping out too, if that gives you an idea of how badly it is structured.

No. 540942

I was always afraid of making friendship because I was introverted and avoidant all my life, I also have social anxiety. I didn't make friendship because most of my life I thought that my anxiety and weirdness would scare people off.
It would be a problem for you if your friend would be struggling with mental issues but you would get along nicely (and she wouldn't be toxic)?
I was always scared of it, all my life, that I would be uninteresting/weird as a friend/human begin.

Also, what are good qualities that a friend should have? I know it's a common knowledge but I'm a retard plus I feel I need guidance.
I scared off some people not because of weirdness but because of some emotional problems. I did some research and self-helping methods and I relaized a lot in these months, where I made mistakes. I was too emotional and tend to behave like a victim instead just talk honestly how I feel. That lack of honest, me not being open is where I made mistakes, and I regret it very deeply.
I want to befriend people again but I don't know what to do, idk if I should try because I REALLY don't want to hurt anyone but without making a friendships I won't be able to work properly on it.
I was in some group therapies. They were shit, only one or two people talked and rest just listen.

What should I do? I'm open for any suggestions.
I didn't really mean to hurt anyone, it was my foolishness and I regret it deeply. I want to be better.

(I posted it here because is half a vent and half asking for advices)

No. 540943

File: 1586893239549.png (260.22 KB, 671x377, 1583951549955.png)

Because of corona I've been unable to take my dog out as often and for as long as I'd like to. He can sense the anxiety I have and because he's not getting the energy out he's barking up a storm recently. I'm trying everything but it's always 2 steps forward 3 steps back with him and it's making me more anxious because the neighbors have stopped by to ask us to shut the dog up. It's also super frustrating because my ex is waiting for me to move out (I'm trying to as quickly as possible but it's kind of hard in this environment right now, but dipshit doesn't get it despite being almost middle aged) and is unwilling to help train him and is basically undoing all my progress by approaching the barking by yelling and doing things like pulling on his beard. I wish I was in my new place already because I'm reaching my limit as far as stress goes. It's really frustrating because he seems to think it's all "my" dogs fault when our other dog is also starting to slowly ramp up his barking as well for the same reason. I just want to get away from this asshole already.

No. 540964

>>540942
I think you would be a really good friend, you seem really introspective and considerate and compassionate. I think you are being too hard on yourself, you should be open to friendships and not be scared of forming them - everyone makes mistakes in friendships so it’s inevitable to come up at some point but you seem that you would be more than capable to work things out and communicate effectively with people ♥

No. 540967

Fuck fuck, I think I fucked up.
Canadian anons, help me understand something. I applied for CERB because they said that after March 15th all EI applications will automatically be put as CERB.
I got sick leave (somewhat due to corona) end of March, and won't be going back until May 14.

I'm freaking out because I don't want to be in trouble right now. I don't know what to do.

No. 540992

>>540930
I feel the same way, and the $2 raise per hour isn't making me feel much better, it's still less that a lot of people are getting for sitting at home.

No. 541004

>>540964
Thank you anon! Your warm and honest response made me really happy!
Maybe you're right and I'm too hard on myself… Next time, when I'm gonna befriend someone, I'm just gonna be more open and honest with my feelings!
Thanks! You gave me a courage!

No. 541008

File: 1586901250417.jpg (43.75 KB, 640x429, ED32I7eWsAAxagU.jpg)

I hate this stupid garbage third world shit country I live in, everything is expensive, the government is shit, i can't even buy things on the internet because i live in such a backward shithole that most websites won't ship to here.

Now I can't even move out to Europe where I have relatives because everywhere is going Nazi 2.0 Electric Boogaloo, so my options are living in garbageland or getting beat up by nationalists.

IM A WELL EDUCATED SMART WOMAN AND I JUST WANT TO LIVE IN A GODDAMN NICE COUNTRY WITH BASIC MODERN AMMENITIES.

No. 541054

>>541008
Anon, Australia doesn’t get a lot of stuff because places won’t ship / and it’s very expensive.
The US where you can get just about anything is riddled in gun-toting freaks, and everything is still expensive.
Everything is expensive everywhere.
The world sucks.
Europe sucks.
Sorry.

No. 541080

>>535754
Insecurities don't appear from thin air, they're instilled in people. I was never insecure about the features that I hate about myself (appearance/personality) until someone made me feel like shit about them These are the same people who wonder why I'm reserved/don't put myself out there. Fuck people.

No. 541105

>>541080
I think you can easily develop insecurities on your own without any external influence (other than seeing other people and comparing yourselves to them). Nobody has ever commented on half the dumb shit I've been insecure about throughout my life.

No. 541111

>>541054
nta but you have no idea. t. 3rd world fag

No. 541133

>>535754
I'm pretty sure my cousin who I was best friends with since the age of 5 thinks she's too good for me now. She makes these comments that she disguises as jokes, but they're fucking hurtful.

No. 541142

This is definitely just some kind of autism thing and I know it's a small problem in the grand scheme but going to the hairdresser is like living hell for me, the combination of having to make small talk with essentially a stranger for hours, being touched, the sensory overload of the hairdryer sounds and when they brush and dry your hair and the fluorescent lights and having to stare at myself in the mirror at my peak ugliest with my little cape thing and wet hair looking like drowned mole rat is just too much

No. 541143

>>541111
truly, people really are so insensitive and tone deaf they have no idea

No. 541159

>>541054
As an Australian… this is a dumb af response. We're a rich country near topping HDI rankings and shipping fees don't make us comparable to 3rd world countries.

No. 541160

certain women's refusal to acknowledge the privilege they have and their role as oppressors and insistence on always deflecting to their position as victim on the basis of their gender has caused as much tangible harm to my and women like me's life as the patriarchy they speak of has

No. 541161

>>535754
>>541054
oh god… the ignorance. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say you're under 18 despite this being an 18+ site

No. 541164

Today I realised I would prefer to be dead than to be with him but here I am again, crying silently while I’m even afraid to move.

No. 541167

>>541164
Please get some help. This isn't a sustainable way to live and the only two options are to get out now and start rebuilding your life or to allow this to become your new normal and suffer long term consequences.

No. 541171

>>539355
do you pay rent?

No. 541172

>>541160
100%. It's extremely frustrating because these women are so convinced they are untouchable turbovictims who can do no wrong.

No. 541176

File: 1586930172718.jpeg (79.08 KB, 750x920, AA974882-2444-4875-A8E1-30C663…)

spent today crying and laying down, only getting up once to get food and shower and feeling ashamed of my family members seeing me get up, because i thought i didn’t deserve to eat today, or even do anything to make me feel better. i need routine back so badly i can’t go another month without distraction, videogames and youtube can only get me so far. even venting feels like i don’t deserve it, i don’t want to burden my friends, even the ones i know i can trust.

No. 541177

>>541176
its alright anon, maybe start small with daily exercise

No. 541178

>>541172
Fr, except I don't think they genuinely don't know I think they just don't care because they know how much the presumption of victimhood benefits them and that their pseudovictimhood is only propped up by the contrast of portraying other demographics of women (who are really the only people who call this out) as aggressors and often just outright dismissing their experience of womanhood altogether.

No. 541181

File: 1586932043700.jpeg (142.22 KB, 750x621, 57195422-D2F5-492C-B2D9-6533FE…)

I started dating this guy at age 15 because he was OBSESSED with me and young me thought that was a good thing, he always drew pics of me wanted to be around me I thought it was typical puppy love. But he got all abusive and clingy and I thought him being friendly with my mom was a good thing till when we broke up he sent her my nudes and shit. He told everyone we had sex and how easy it was when really I wouldn’t even suck his small smegma dick. He kept making all sorts of accounts when I blocked him to try getting me back. The reason we broke up is cause he wouldn’t let me talk to anyone, even girls. And I was annoyed at him always being creepy with local girls and following insta thots and sharing porn memes and all sorts of annoying scrote bullshit, I left him. And it took me so long to finally get rid of him and to get him to give it up. There were no redeeming qualities about him his looks were 4/10, his personality was shit, and he wasn’t smart or funny. Me dating him was just me feeling special because I let some gross dude drool over me for like 6 months and I felt so pretty next to his ugly ass
4 years later I hear the dude is having a baby with some girl good for him I guess I hope he’s changed for her sake, I lurk his insta profile
>still following random thots
>still posts coomer nonsense
And he’s having a baby with some girl
I feel so bad because the other day he made another account on Facebook just to say how beautiful I am and try talking to me. I wanna tell his gf but girls in this town always see their bf talking to you as if YOURE the threat and honestly I hate that guy so much I hope she leaves his ass, I cannot believe she’s willing to put up with his thirsty ass.

No. 541193

cant stop drinking and I cant stop thinking about one of my old best friends who I'm no longer speaking to bc I, in many way, fucked up the friendship. i think about her a lot despite it having been basically a year of not talking to her. I wish I could see her and tell her that I am desperately attracted to her and want her in my life again but I am a coward

No. 541194

>>541176

Anon you wouldn't be burdening your friends by reaching out to them. That's what friends are for.

No. 541197

>>541181
Please, please, PLEASE, I'm begging you: tell her. Don’t care if she goes crazy and thinks you’re the problem here, she’s going to have a child with this mf and she deserves to know the truth ffs

No. 541207

My best friend annoys me so much sometimes…she's constantly giving me unsolicited advice and dropping passive aggressive comments and it's driving me insane.

For example, she knows I struggle with men and dating, and the other day she was looking at my roommate's fb page and she declared that 'You can tell she's very extroverted and open, she uploads a lot. Men like these kind of women', which felt like a jab at me for being introverted and not sharing much on my fb page.

Also, ever since I told her I'm trying to save money she constantly makes comments about every choice I make- 'You should go grocery shopping to X, not Y, stuff are cheaper there' or 'Is that a new shirt? Seriously? You really needed that??'.
Maybe I should be grateful that she calls me out for the stupid shit I do, but it's also super annoying. It makes me feel like a little kid who's being lectured by her mother.

No. 541210

File: 1586937627280.jpg (Spoiler Image, 41.22 KB, 395x529, 089786756.JPG)

>>535754
i feel and look like this photo, the female version of it but combine it with a chubby short body, marks all over my skin, and annoying nasal voice. I look like shit even if I take good care of my appearance, I shave my face regularly, my eyebrows are always done, I have a long extensive hair care routine and a decent skin care routine, I try to diet and I try to dress well even though my body doesn't help.


Nothing helps my unfortunate genetics, I have some personality traits and interest that would be considered interesting if someone more attractive had them but for me it's just nerdy and weird, I'll never be interesting, funny, charming, smart, I'll always be annoying, boring, annoying, creepy, I'll never be enough.


Boys don't like me, girls don't like me, kids don't like me, I don't have any social presence and no body cares about anything I have to say I feel just like a blob of ugliness no wonder the last time my bf told me he loves me was a year ago and it was the second time ever

No. 541219

>>541207
If I have to be 100% honest, I truly think this is her way to give you advice and it sounds she’s trying to not make you feel judged at all (seems like you’re projecting because you know she’s right and it offends you anyway)

No. 541223

Ugh my poor cat is sick and needs daily needles and pills and giving them to her is making her scared of me. She hates having pills forced down her throat but she won't eat if it's mixed in with her food, and I think I hurt her when I tried to do the needle. The vet didn't demonstrate and I don't know how to do it properly, I think maybe I put the needle in too deep? How am I supposed to know how far to stick it in? I'm petrified of hurting her again, I feel so guilty.

She's a family cat so luckily my parents can do it but this just solidified that I never want my own pet. It sucks too much when they're sick or in pain and you're the one doing things they hate.

No. 541227

Holy shit. I’m finding my husband so irritating right now. Little things that normally irk me are extra annoying right now and I’m trying so hard not to snap. I just feel like he’s wildly inconsiderate and it’s driving me insane.

E.g. I asked him over 20 minutes ago if he could take the dog for a second walk because I’m waiting for a package delivery. The post is notoriously awful in my country so I’d rather not chance it. He’s still fucking around in the bathroom while my dog stares at me and whines. I took her out at 8 am even though I barely slept last night and he’s unemployed.

I’m really biting my tongue about this but I’m so frustrated. Have I been so stupid to fall into “mommy-wife” territory? Ugh.

No. 541229

>>541227
Yes, don't let him be a fucking bum. He's doing this because he thinks he can get away with it and will continue to do so.

No. 541230

>>541219
thank you for your honest feedback anon. you're probably right, I have a tendency to be overly sensitive

No. 541231

>>541229
You’re right. I just talked to him about it and he tried to give this faux quizzical expression. Jesus. May just end up as part of the divorce statistics because I cannot deal with this.

No. 541233

>>540092
Its sad but I can't stop thinking about this. I've never felt this ugly and bad. Of course he's back tracking and telling me he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful but it just feels like the damage is done. Thoughts of him touching me makes my skin crawl, wearing anything other than baggy clothes makes me panic. I'm glad we're in quarantine so nobody has to see me in public but I'm a wreck. I feel pathetic cause I'm so fragile but I have no one to talk to about this irl so here is the only place I can get it out of my head.

No. 541235

>>541231
Have been having very similar issues with my partner who is also not employed, and very lazy.
Have considered many times leaving, though I am in a different country so I literally can’t at the moment.

No. 541244

Am I just being insane for being upset over this?
I've been fighting with this guy (long history) but I was having a really bad time because of my parents and I went to him and cried and he offered for us to watch a movie to get my mind off things. Then one hour into the movie (LOTR, which he agreed to watch) he asks to pause the movie, then says he's too tired and he's gonna go to sleep instead.
Right after my parents were screaming about how unwanted I am. And he's been staying up until 8-9am gaming the past few days.
Is this just autism and being unreasonable when it's 3am for him or something? I asked if he was sure before we even started…
I feel like i'm going fucking insane. Whenever I bring up how low of a priority I am to him he just acts like i'm being overly negative.

No. 541248

I just wish someone would listen to me. I can't go on much longer with this crippling anxiety and sleep deprivation. They just keep handing me different anti-depressants but I also have a weight problem so I absolutely can not take an SSRI that will make me gain massive weight and they know my history with that. For godsake, I'm begging someone just to prescribe me some melatonin. I don't know what to do at this point. No one is listening to me on how anxiety is ruining my life. I don't want to live like this anymore.

No. 541256

>>541235
I’m also in a different country. I’ve thought about telling him to go back to the states because he’s got to renew his visa/the bureaucracy is still on hold because of the pandemic. Kinda seems like a good time for me to sever ties since I’ve no desire to go back to the US. Good luck, anon.

No. 541258

>>541248
Anon, have you talked to someone about insomnia? I was actually really surprised how easy it was for me to get a prescription for generic Ambien, and how easy it was for me to get refills. Sleep deprivation exacerbates so many problems, and it really sounds like you’re suffering. Maybe a GP would be better to talk to than a psychiatrist?

No. 541261

>>541244
Anon, you'd be here complaining if he did stay up and yawn, dozed off and wasn't paying attention bc he was so tired so chill.

No. 541263

I want a job so bad but I am so, so tired of trying.

I've been trying for over a year now. Minimum wage jobs won't take me because I'm not fluent in the language here (was taking classes until corona). Home country is going to shit because they've been sneaky and stupid about this whole pandemic. Graduated and no practical experience. I have revised my resume so many times, uploaded it to reddit for feedback, joined a discord of people in my field for feedback, joined women's networking groups (which seems to be majority trying to start and promote their own business), I've asked if I could intern for free for experience. Recruitment agents have interviewed me, nothing came of it (I follow up and check their sites), I've had phone interviews, I've had an on site interview that was for a position that wasnt even actually available. Recently I had an interview I was close to getting but I got second place (apparently). That one I spent roughly 20 hours preparing for. And it makes me sick to think of the hundreds, maybe thousands of hours I've spent applying for NO result. I've become better at applying now, but with this its either you become employed or you don't, so I see it as I've achieved nothing.

I just want to stop trying and have someone just fucking give me a JOB! Online it's so hard to break into those freelance jobs. Data entry, technical writing etc etc. I can do lots of things, I would be competent. But the idea that nobody will even give me the chance to prove that, even for FREE?! I want to stop.

This was triggered by me planning on revising my resume again today, but looking at it made me physically sick.

No. 541264

>>541233
I really hate seeing what his comment has done to your self-esteem, I'm sorry you're going through that anon.
As for the comment itself, I don't know what's worse: Men fessing up to tell you that you are in fact no longer appealing, or them sparing your feelings yet drifting away to porn or entertaining cheating for feeling physically repelled.
I feel like my ex did the latter to me in my last long term relationship. I gained a lot of weight over the course of a couple years, mostly due to my job at the time but also because he was a stressful person to live with. He was so immature and I had to do everything, I felt like his mom. I coped with food and was too exhausted to exercise, and I admit those were my failings. I noticed he turned to porn often behind my back while neglecting me sexually, yet whenever I criticized that he'd find a way to blame me ("You never initiate!") without bringing up my weight. I think he knew if he came at me for my weight, I would've broken up sooner and it would be over. Cause you know what? He wasn't perfect and it was so unfair! He had nasty little rat teeth with a weird crackling jaw, dark circles, losing his hair that he refused to cut shorter, foot stench, constantly shedding body hair, and oh he was pretty out of shape himself.

The damage IS done anon. Everything you typed? You should tell him to his face and then break up with him. I know that probably won't happen, but he really deserves a consequence. I wish that if someone in a relationship has criticism for their partner's looks, that they would strive to improve each other as a team. Unless he's physically fit and you're somehow the lone fatass, but I doubt that. Truth is everyone could improve and it would be way less insulting than to act like you're the only one with a problem.

No. 541265

Our kitten is having a whiteish bump on his lip and it hurts.
And now I have to fucking fight my parents to bring him to the vet. I'm paying, it's no issue for me, but I can't drive but convincing them is hard and I'm tired of just thinking about the fight that's about to happen.
"It's nothing, he's fine!", "It will pass", yea, great, still better to prevent it.

No. 541268

>>541244
Keep in mind this is just my first impression without knowing the context of your history together.
Were you ever sexual with this guy before, or would he have believed that he had a chance with you? Sounds like he invited you over looking to score, and when it became clear an hour into the movie that no moves were happening I think he gave up and made an excuse that he was tired lmao. That's just the pessimist in me.

It's possible that he could have been genuinely tired, but like you said that's pretty rude of him to renege like that especially when you asked if you being there was imposing beforehand. Idk, sounds like typical male ignorance, he might not have meant anything by it. Men typically lack self-awareness and have no idea what it is to be selfless. It would make me feel bad too, but overall it might not be a big deal in the grand scheme.

No. 541269

>>541230
No worries anon, I assure you I’m the same as you sometimes so I know well how frustrating it is to feel everyone’s judging you when you’re trying your best (specially coming from close friends, that made me furious).
What helped me was to try and think: why are they telling me that? Are more bad comments that good comments? Are they judging me just because? For sure I had to cut off of my life some very dearly but toxic people but the “good” ones remained, even when I get hurt anyways because I’m like that and I take everything personally.

No. 541270

>>541263
i'm sorry anon, jobs are very hard to find. dont give up

what country you in/from?

No. 541271

File: 1586953903647.jpg (39.5 KB, 600x524, 1584922340305.jpg)

My boyfriend is going through a really hard time rn. And I feel so bad for wanting his attention regardless. Even just messaging for 15 minutes every second day would be enough for me, but he won't do that. I don't know what to do anymore and how to support him.

No. 541278

File: 1586955484901.png (437.96 KB, 500x549, 1460646034199.png)

I noticed a lot of unemployed people are getting defensive when essential workers say how they should receive some hazard pay or incentive since they're risking their lives. Cause in some cases the unemployed are making better pay than the essential workers make. In certain states they're giving them $600 a week on top of unemployment pay.
One person commented YEAH WELL $600 PER WEEK AIN'T SHIT!
>mfw I work for 18/hr grossing $720 a week and my takehome after tax is $560
I just want them to shut up and be grateful lmao.

No. 541282

>>541271
Even if he wasn't having a hard time, I think everyone needs some time alone regardless of anything

No. 541288

File: 1586957974139.png (2.08 MB, 1224x922, 1586885908285.png)

>>541282
Yeah I understand. It's not like I want to take up all his free time, like I've said, just talking every now and then (we are in LDR atm) would be enough for me.

No. 541292

>>541271

No one should make you feel like you need to beg for attention. Alone time is one thing, but everyone deserves attention from someone they love. A couple minutes should be nothing. I dated a lot of people like that, at the end of the day there's no excuse. I'm not saying you need to blow up or throw the whole man away, but you don't seem clingy or desperate. I hate that anyone who wants space automatically had the right to shut people out without reason but the person being shut out needs to make the compromises.

No. 541297

File: 1586960992383.jpg (29.76 KB, 642x644, 1585173099750.jpg)

>>541292
Aww, thank you for your kind words anon. That being said, he is going through a lot of stuff rn (one of his family members has fallen seriously ill, and he had to move out to take care of him for the time being, his coworkers were fired and now he has to work 12 hour shifts to make up for that, his car broke down when he was at my place and we can't even repair it because car repair shops aren't working in my area (corona)). I understand that he has no time, so I feel angry at myself for still wanting attention. It also sucks because our schedules no longer match, so he often wants to text/talk when I'm at work, and I unfortunately can't do that.

No. 541299

>>541297

Awe you're welcome. So it's not what I thought. Her has a lot in his plate, don't feel bad, he probably misses you too.

In this day and age of social media, we expect to be in contact at almost all times, so it's hard when we're not.

Take a step back. How about instead of quick text convos, you two do something more like writing letters and being on face time when you can? Instead of spending time waiting to communicate, you do some things for him that don't necessarily involve communicating, like writing a card, having a shoe you both can catch up on or a game your both working on.

It will be okay.

No. 541302

im basically trapped in my bfs house with his mum and younger brother and both my bf and his younger brother have hit me. i can deal with bf but his younger brother hitting me is just too much. told his mum and she was just like 'hes only 6 uwu' like okay fine but both ur sons are assaulting me now and i cant fucking leave.

neither of my parents will have me for fear of the virus.

im also pretty unwelcome here and i keep catching the blame for basically everything that goes wrong even though im trying really hard to clean/be helpful/contribute financially despite losing my job

i want to die. the least my bf could do is be nice to me

told my mum the situation and she says im playing the victim and lack compassion. maybe i am, i dont know. maybe i am crazy

No. 541306

>>541302
The six year old sounds like he's mimicking his big brother, discipline your bf the next time he attempts to hit you, and the little guy should follow the message.

No. 541310

File: 1586963129314.jpg (23.84 KB, 453x470, 298859832053.jpg)

Went half remote for my job and while I can do most work no problem there's one task that drives me nuts. It calls for me to copy a line from an excel worksheet, paste it into a different software, and then run a query on it. Each line takes me about 30-40 seconds each.
I have 1500 lines to do. It's very boring, and I get distracted very easily. It's not due until next week, but for example I tried to work on it yesterday and I only got to line 32 over the course of eight hours lel. I know I can do well over 1000 lines in a shift since I had to do it and look busy in the office, but tbh fam I just wanna get paid for not doing shit like the 1% does. So fuck me.

No. 541314

>>541306
he doesnt hit me in front of him he just attacked me one time so i guess im just feeling sorry for myself. obviously i didnt tell the mum about bf assaulting me bc she would probably take his side and he would also hate me for it

why am i in such a ghetto situation. i want out but i know i'll want back in

No. 541316

>>541310
Why not just automate it and relax for the rest of forever or get someone to automate it for you

No. 541317

>>541302
Holy fucking shit. If that's his mom's response to her 6 year old hitting you, no wonder why your boyfriend grew up to hit women himself.

You need to give your boyfriend an ultimatum that either he seek the psychological help he desperately needs to get his anger issues in check or you're leaving him. If this shit doesn't get nipped in the bud, it will only escalate.

No. 541319

>>541316
I thought about it but I'm a potato brain. It's a company specific software, and I probably couldn't trust someone else to write for it due to the sensitive nature of the info. Would probably violate HIPAA or some shit.

No. 541343

Getting annoyed with all my immature friends. Mid-20s and older and some of them are just so fucking lazy, which is their problem, but since quarantine all my conversations with them have just been them complaining about their own laziness. 'My sleep schedule is messed up.' because you stay up till 4am and wake up at 2pm. 'I'm getting so fat.' because you eat badly, address your poor diet. 'I want to work on x but I can't be bothered'. you've been saying this for months now…maybe it's time to accept you aren't going to. I don't know, sometimes I'm just in awe on how little motivation they have to do anything to improve on any of the things they complain about.

No. 541345

>>541343
How are they getting fatter? Quarantine has been great for me because I'm eating healthy food that I'm cooking at home, and I have more free time to exercise. I feel guilty for burdening fast food employees so I haven't consumed junk food nor soda in weeks.

They must be depressed or something, I'm lazy af and don't have those issues.

No. 541348

>>541302
break up with your boyfriend the moment the quarantine ends.

No. 541350

my boyfriend is a student and doesn't want to keep asking his mom for rent/food money so he wants to get a job at a grocery store…
except our country is affected by corona and i'm so worried for his health. he's not at risk but healthy people have died + his diet isn't the best so i'm worried what a potential lack of vitamins etc might do…
i wish he'd just ask his mom for money while corona hits and get a job once this all settles down. i understand but, again, i fear for his health and life.

No. 541358

>>541345
They’ve been putting on weight for months, it’s not specific to quarantine, it’s just now they bring it up all the time because they have nothing else to talk about I guess. Also, how did you make this about yourself? Lol

No. 541359

>>540851
In America, most people grow up with their godsiblings and are almost as close to them as their normal siblings. Usually closer than 1st cousins.

However, it is extremely annoying if you don't actually like your godsibling, as is my husband's case, because then you're stuck with this arbitrary label people use to make you feel guilty about not wanting anything to do with them in adulthood.

No. 541360

>>541350
You're being unreasonably paranoid. Paranoia is bad for your health.

You need to realize most of us will eventually get covid, and we may be getting it many times in our life if it becomes seasonal.

The danger to your bf is minimal. You wouldn't be afraid of him getting the flu, right?

Get yourself together, stress will do more damage to your body than covid will do to his.

No. 541372

>>540250
My ex jerks off to Exxxtrasmall almost exclusively. They don’t put girls in their videos taller than 5’2 or heavier than 99 pounds. I was 5’10 and 135 pounds at the time. He’d always bodyshame me for being tall and make fun of my “manhands”’and how big my feet are and what a wide masculine frame I have. He also actively encouraged me not to eat. Looking at this picture I really wonder why I put up with this for so long. It took me being hospitalized after starving down to 101 pounds to leave him. So close, right? But seeing this now it’s just so obvious anyone whose into this stuff is a fucking freak. I feel so stupid.

No. 541375

>>541372
the most actual disgusting thing is that you would do all these things just for a boyfriend.
its 2020 and there are still women acting like servants for men and they get surprised when their boyfriend treats them like a doormat.
have self respect and remember that no men would never try to change his body for you.

No. 541378

I fucking hate the people that post their stupid sob stories in the youtube comments or under random celebrities instagram pictures. Also there is ALWAYS this one comment about x-persons depression & anxiety. I could watch a video about garlic bread and some random shithead comments how much this helped their depression & anxiety. It irritates me so much. No one on Instagram or Youtube gives a shit about your attention-whoring ways. Stop it.

No. 541381

>>541378
its even worse when its arguments about religion or gender when the video is mostly random stuff.

No. 541383

>>541360
>>541350
To add to this, you, like many people, seem to be forgetting why we are taking all the preventative measures.
We are doing it so that we don't all get it at once, not to avoid getting it at all. The aim is to slow the spread, not stop it. People need to get it to build up immunity.

I don't understand how people can have the phrase "flatten the curve" be parroted to them all day for the past few months and still completely forget what they mean.

No. 541389

>>541381
Oh god, yes. A few days ago I watched a video of a comedian doing a show and some stupid asshat decided to start a war on the pronouns of said comedian which had nothing to do with the actual fucking video. No one asked for that. Or people commenting about x pet or relative that died. No one gives a crap.

No. 541401

I'm quarantined with my boyfriends family and it's absolute hell
I spent over a 100 dollars worth of food and spent two days straight preparing and cooking it for the holidays and his mom sat around bitching about how "it's not ready yet and it needs to be ready by 5" 10 minutes before five, his mom then got in front of me and claimed that me speaking hebrew was satan and that passover was inviting satan in, she took him aside several times to talk about how she doesn't want me around her kids because she thinks Judaism is satanism

his sister also stole a lot of the food I was going to make as well as throwing away my toothbrushes, toothpastes and expensive body washes, she also refuses to train her dog that pees on my expensive coats and purses, even peed on my bag that my mother brought me, I had very little of the leftovers despite paying and preparing most of it, she also tries to use the excuse that "i eat her food" just because I'll have like one bite of the ramen my boyfriend made (I'm anorexic)

on top of that they fight several hours of the day over nothing, leave everything dirty and for me to clean, I don't care if I have to live in an RV for the next few months until school starts but this is taking a massive toll on my health

No. 541402

>>541358
Ok sorry but your post did make it sound like their comments were specific to quarantine "but since quarantine," which is why I talked about my experience. My bad I guess. Regardless your friends sound depressed.

No. 541416

>>541401
ngl all y'all sound toxic as hell

No. 541422

>>541401
I'm >>541302
Am in a similar situation living with in laws. I wish we could task on discord or some thing. I try really hard to get everything right and help around the house but I catch the blame for almost everything if it isn't done a certain way

No. 541424

>>541401
Oof, a Jewish scapegoat in the domicile. Classic.
Sorry you live that way, hopefully you can leave after the crisis is over (but shame on your man for not defending you if he knows about this).

No. 541445

I just can't make myself give a shit about people and make friends. I. just. fucking. can't. What's wrong with me? Why the hell can I not connect with people? Meanwhile there are others who attach themselves to people with 0 issues. How?
Literally the only close friend my entire life that I had was my ex fiance. He was the only person I had any form of connection and the only person that I considered family. There just has to be something wrong with me if in my entire LIFE I only met ONE person that I was close to. I don't mean just love, but literally any form. It just can't be my enviroment like my therapist said, no fucking way.

Why can't I just be normal or less independent.

No. 541449

bc my mom's work is closed she's taking arabic lessons and holy shit she just keeps screeching the letters and sounds like a braying donkey and i want to kms

No. 541450

File: 1586982733433.gif (1.45 MB, 440x183, mirrorfreakout.gif)

>be very slim and fit most of my life
>Very active/inshape, closely watch intake, macros etc. if I gain weight it's to the "right places", stomach always flat
>Get hormonal IUD
>Go from being 135lbs of lean muscle at my heaviest to can't get below 170 (down from 190) in span of 2ish years (note: lots of the gain was from giving up or becoming too tired with health issues I've now resolved, so I do take blame there)
>Stomach always incredibly bloated on top of that
>Multiple other health issues pop up
>Drs insist this can't be from the IUD, see multiple, same insistence, they start to imply I must be munchie (in less obvious terms)
>Used to get incredibly painful periods (debilitating) before so don't push as hard to have it removed either, despite my suspicions
>Drs insist I must not be exercising/eating/sleeping right etc, despite that it was my 24/7 life style before and I know damn well how to track cals work out routine etc
>Having high bpm issues, breathing issues, would do 2-4hrs cardio/day, til month ago, suddenly can't do 20mins
>Dr says it's "normal" since I went from high activity to low, completely ignores this development is what caused me to go from high to low
>Reading more about all this on Google
>Multiple other women claim on forums they have the exact same issues after getting this IUD, same experience of being very slim/athletic before this
>Countless people reiterate the concept it's impossible to be caused by the iud, at most it might cause bloating or minor weight gain at the beginning of insertion
>Begin requesting from drs to refer me to gyno to have it removed
>You can't get appointment with gyno on your own here, you just request and wait for gyno to call you
>Do this on 3 seperate occassions and never get the call back
>So beat down and frustrated I give in to thinking I'm just unlucky and have to exercise more eat less rest well surely I am just doing my something wrong despite nearly coaching peers prior who would come to me for advice
>Finally today reading about cortisol as it causes all the problems I've been struggling with (and how to lower it), esp the new weight gain in belly
>Multiple sources claiming hormonal IUD raises cortisol, sometimes drastically in some women
>Cortisol causes these issues that everyone says are impossible to be caused by my IUD
WHAT YHE FUCK
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
HOW MUCH DID THE HORMONAL IUD COMPANIES HAVE TO PAY TO SPREAD THAT AMOUNT OF AUTISTIC MISINFO
THERES NO WAY IN FUCK THIS STUPID FUCKING THING MAKING MY BODY THINK OTS KNOCKED UP 24/7 ISN'T THE BIG CONTRIBUTOR TO THIS RETARDED SHIT THAYS BEEN RUINING MY HEALTH/LIFE AND NO ONE WAS WILLING TO EVEN HUMOR THE IDEA AS AN OUT THERE POSSIBILITY

FUCK IM EVEN MORE MAD AT MYSRLF FOR LETTING IT GET RHIS BAD AND GO ON SO LONG INSTEAD OF FIGHTING YO HAVE IT REMOVED

FICK YOU DOCTORS FUCK YOU IUD FUVK YOU SHEEP TARDS ON FORUMS REFUSING THE OTHER WOMEN WHO SUSPECTED THIS FOR THEMSELVES

If I can't get this fucking thing removed once quarantine is over I'm lubing up some fucking pliers and ripping it out of through my fucking cervix myself, pain be damned

No. 541483

what the fuck is wrong with my parents. we got our groceries delivered today and my dad screamed at my mom like a fucking animal about how she organizes the fridge or something. Yes, she is retarded, but holy shit my dad has this fancy ass job and acts like a fucking piece of shit.

and now that he's done and is sulking, it's back to business as usual.

No. 541492

File: 1586988883040.png (235.22 KB, 390x399, Screen Shot 2017-09-20 at 7.01…)

>>541483
No joke, he probably needs to get laid.

Now in no shape/form/way does that excuse an inkling of his behaviour, if anything I'd say it makes it even worse. But combo of lack of sexual release + work stress + tardo generation of sexually repressed parental units believing they have to stick out flunking marriages with little to no self awareness or concept of mental health/proper coping mechanisms = nonsensical rage outbursts

Now, obviously stress doesn't spawn purely from lack of satisfying sex life. But his targeting of your mother makes me imagine it's some subconscious shit over not getting his rocks off building up toxic resentment.

I don't even say this as a man hating thing, I think it happens with women too, but I find they typically become sex repulsed over time making the connection harder to pinpoint.


Really think they were onto something when the prescription for "female hysteria" was orgasms, except it's not exclusive to females kek

… My mildly inappropriate broscience pseudo psychology aside, if you've never lived outside your parents house, anon, I just want you to know it gets so much better. You'll never fully understand the amount of stress you're holding onto until you're (comfortably) living on your own. I know that might not be a near possibility for you financially, but by God when you get the chance move out and never look back. Also, for your own sake, try not to resent your parents too much. That doesn't mean you have to accept any shittiness, but scream it into the void like you have here, and then try to forgive them for it. Personally I found it a lot easier to try to understand/forgive mine by coming to terms with that they were not raised or given the opportunity to properly conceive the ill effects of their bullshit. It doesn't excuse said bullshit, but I found some peace with that understanding and it helped me let go of all that pent up emotion I was forced to compartmentalize to be able to survive growing up with them. Hopefully you can too, with your own. In the end, they are humans and as their offspring we're meant to evolve beyond them - you have the resources, emotional depth and intelligence to see and learn from what they haven't. Best of luck and remember to prioritize your own sanity, even if that means letting go of their transgressions. (Fuck maybe you know that all already, I'm just some bored fuck on lolcow kek)

No. 541496

Imagine screaming rape because you had lesbian sex and your parents/someone else found out. Timothy tier.

No. 541500

>>541401
His family doesn't like you and they're making sure you know that.

No. 541507

I hate me for loving him. He insulted me in all the possible ways. He told me things that no one should ever hear, just because I wasn’t who he was expecting. He left me abandoned in another country, alone, with no connection, knowing I couldn’t contact him for more than an hour, just because he didn’t like the pics I was taking. He told me I will end up alone anyways because I’m insufferable and that no one will ever love me because people get tired of me (he knows this is the biggest fear I have in life). Never comes to my plans but expects me to be there for him no matter what, no matter when. Never meets my friends. Never does what I want to do. If I complain, I’m crazy. I’m wrong. I’m stupid. A stupid bitch. If I don’t complain, I’m not paying attention to him, I’m always distant. I have to laugh at his jokes but not too much or he will think I’m faking it. I have to laugh at the fact he lets other girls flirt with him. Wait, today is a new day, today I’m not allowed to laugh, I should get mad and anxious about it and let him know because if not, I don’t care about him, I don’t love him. I have to beg him to come to my father’s funeral. Maybe if he’s not lazy that day he will come. I have to suck it up when he laughs at me in front of his family. Also when my friends keep asking me questions and I have to lie every time and defend him. I have to hear how nice he is, how a good boy and how much he loves me. But I don’t know if tomorrow will be a good day anymore, I don’t know if I will say or do something wrong, probably he’ll find a reason to get mad at me anyways.
And I hate myself because even after all of this and more, even after practically wishing everyday he would hit me so I could put a stop, even then I love him. And I don’t want to. I don’t want to cry in silence, curled up against him because if I dare to cry harder he will remind me how pathetic I am, someone who only loves to make a drama of everything.
Today I know 100% I’m fucked up in the head, anons….I’m sorry this is a mess, I’m even sorry having to write this, I’m so, so tired of always feeling guilty and wrong, first with my parents, then when my friends and now I’m here.
And I know, I know, “dump him”. But tomorrow I’ll wake up, feeling ashamed for feeling this hate invade me and I’ll wonder if I can be that happy and unworried girl who I wasn’t actually before. So I’ll just leave my vent because right now he’s not talking again for the third time today and I need to remind me why I keep crying, why it hurts this much.

No. 541515

>>541401
If your boyfriend has done nothing to remedy this shit or defend/help you, then you need to refocus your gaze from his family to him.

If he has become docile because he feels this is normal behavior from his family and there's nothing he can do, then it's going to become problematic later in your relationship

Alternatively, if this virtoul comes from seemingly no where and they are not typically like this - you got a couple other things than being Jewish to consider:
1) you yourself are more toxic than you realize, and although it doesn't justify their ridiculous shit, they've picked up on it and retaliated (potentially because they mistakenly feel they are "protecting" your bf - very smolbrained of them, I know). Visible EDs can be very draining for the people around you and are often concurrent with other mental health issues, so they may perceive you to be a parasite to your boyfriend.
2) your boyfriend may shit talk you or play victim to them, even if it's just after a fight. He may even be well meaning and confide in them for help or out of concern for your health. Family usually only hear these extreme downsides and don't see any positive, and as a result vilify the partner. They may even find by not eating you're adding stress by concurrently hurting your boyfriend/exposing them to your mental illness (it's ignorant but not uncommon stance).

And I'm sure it doesn't need to be said, but girl, if you were visibly anachan when he started dating you, something ain't right in his head.

Don't say any of this to harsh on you, but more a forewarning of the redflags lots of us miss in the moment. If any of this rings even a little true with some introspection, gtfo away from more than his family. try cognitive behavioral therapy (you can find lots of free worksheets online if you can't afford a therapist) and re-evaluate the ever loving shit out of your relationship and if your boyfriend is really helping you or a hidden thorn in your side.

No. 541517

I'm so confused right now, I actually vented about this earlier, but now I think the government is going to get at me because of this shit. I technically got sick leave due to covid, however I got my ROE, and it's not under covid, it's under sickness leave. I applied for the Canadian Emergency Response Benefits, however now I think I should have applied for EI (Despite it saying that all EI demands are going to CERB)

I'm scared the government is going to actually assassinate me. I'm actually considering suicide because I can't handle it and I'm extremely afraid. I don't understand anything.

No. 541519

>>541517
Hey now, the government ain't gonna murder anyone over covid unless you're chinese.

No. 541522

im stuck ldr by quarantine and my boyfriend isn't really into me but it hurts my self esteem because he doesn't even want to discuss sexual intimacy with me or really find me attractive the way he used to
i understand not being a sexting person but even just asking for pictures would make me feel better or even expressing any kind of desire
we still spend most of our time together
i wish he was at least more flirty with me
i know internet intimacy isn't great but just a reminder he's into me would feel better
i feel so ugly
im not even mad at myself
just self hating for not being desirable
crying again
i guess we cope with stress in different ways, but he's a neet so quarantine has affected his life way less than mine
i don't know. it hurts so badly
i don't even resent him, it's understandable
it's just painful
i wish i was wanted

No. 541524

>>541522
Then dump his ass if it makes you this woe is me, wtf.

No. 541527

>>541524
i really love him and we're basically best friends and i find him really attractive and things were good when we were intimate
it's just this specific thing that bothers me
he's helped me so much and no one has ever made me so stable
it's not worth leaving him over it
it just hurts

No. 541530

>>541445
I got something similar though I'm generally low empathy/lack of clear morals in most regards (obviously have enough of both to care enough to reply, though). If that doesn't sound the same, then what I've concluded may not be quite as applicable to you. However, maybe still worth consideration/exploration:

1) ptsd/cptsd and/or depression can cause a sort of deattachment as this. I think most people who experience it to such an extent that often don't even realize they have it. I think this is the most likely/common, whether any other factors apply or not. Untreated learning disorders are also very potentially or partially responsible for this kind of ahedonia, from my understanding.

2) childhood trauma/abuse, or lack of healthy relationships or stable connections as a child (this could be as simple as being bullied or not included in activities with other kids, or having something that prevented you from making friendships properly in those formative ages). I have read before that if a human being does not learn to speak a language by the age of 12 or so, they can never learn how to speak. I think this is similar with making connections/friendships, except there's varying degrees (for example - you can still make some form of romantic connection with your ex). Dysfunctional relationships in chaotic or abusive childhoods would also factor largely towards this, or even just subconsciously not trusting others.

In my youth I had a very narcissistic disposition stemming from subconscious self hatred, where I did not even see my peers as fellow humans (I was not self aware at the time). I think the opposite can happen as well (subconsciously thinking so lowly of yourself you do not think you are on their level). Both would also have varying degrees of severity and reasonably cause you to be incapable of making connections with peers. So if either may be true for you, that's a good starting point for self reflection/research. And ties a bit into:

3) long term introversion and/or self centeredness, intentional or not, causing a lack of or stunted empathetic/emotional maturity and self-awareness. This may not manifest in you being this way in every aspect of your life. However, because of it, you need to grow in these stunted areas (as much as possible) to be even capable of harbouring care or interest in others

4) female autism/Aspergers. I'm less sure on the viability of this one, but I've read up on it a little after seeing how many anons here are female aspies. Although it may not typically portray like this, female autism seems to be harder to pinpoint and from what I can understand not being able to understand/connect to peers often seems to be a potential trait. So something to read about/consider


Other than that, I have found that CBT and the "law of attraction" (as a fake it til you make it concept, not literally believing in some other spiritual force bringing you shit) to have been the most positive to my own growth/improvement. Forced self reflection as well, as I personally never really reflected on much if anything.

I also felt medication (in my case effexor xr - an snri) helped me comprehend the concepts of things better - before it I thought my peers were faking bonds and they didn't really feel them either. I doubt that'll be the typical case for people feeling (or lacking?) as you do, and what worked for one person medically won't always work for another even if the issue is the same, but medication might be something to consider… Especially in the case of depression/ptsd (again, what I feel is the most likely scenario, generally). On a personal level I still don't give an overwhelming amount of fucks about people, but I feel more capable of it and as if it's certainly be possible if I was interested in working for it.

I ultimately believe that the human mind is much like the body… If you wanted to be muscular, you would have to work out to get there. In your case, it is possible your "bonds/connections" 'muscles' are atrophied or injured. This is why I feel CBT is a good approach - used properly it can help you narrow down just which 'muscles' might be problematic and work towards rehabilitation. Faking it til you make it is also something you must do fully/internally for more than just committing to the chore of it. Ie. You can't feign interest in others then be sitting there in your head thinking it's meaningless. You must work to rewire your brain/thoughts to work how you want them to work.

At the end of the day, my belief is you cannot stay a victim if you do not allow yourself to be. If this is something you want to change, then do everything in your power to change it - and BELIEVE in it; believe in yourself and your will to change beyond all else. Otherwise you allow yourself to be powerless and not in control of yourself and your life, let yourself stand in the way of your own desires. It is ok to accept you are different, or damaged, or whatever else - it is fine for it to not get better right away or not 'fully' and acknowledge that. But it is not working on it that becomes failure/weakness, letting it stand in your way or be an excuse, saying 'im just like this and there's nothing I can do' before trying, or after trying and not trying again.

And the alternative to that is just accepting you're that way for one reason or another and not wanting otherwise… Either way problem solved.

No. 541531

>>541527
Girl if he's not attracted to you it's only a matter of time before he leaves. Literally it's not worth it. Find happiness with yourself.

No. 541538

I lost my friend to a drug over dose. It hurts me the core. I even told him to get off it. I did everything I thought I could.

He helped me get out of an abusive situation. I just don't know too feel like nothing happened.

He accidentally left all behind and my heart clenches, but it's not enough to show how much he meant.

No. 541546

A few weeks ago or something (what is time?) my right middle finger joint was swollen and red compared to the left one. Immediately I was like "oh shit, what if I'm developing some rheumatoid disorder fucking jesus christ" but let it go.
Last night the same thing happened to my little finger to the point I had to rest my hand from doing anything because it was actually mildly hurting as well.
This evening THE SIDE OF MY KNEE feels swollen and tender. Like it hurts to walk (mildly). I'm getting worried I have some more auto-immune or joint/connective tissue-diagnosis coming up as if my thyroid and mental health issues didn't already ruin my life.
Also not sure if I can physically visit my doctor which would be best so he can feel the inflammation or whatever in my joints but due to Covid-19 who knows.

No. 541550

>>541538
I've lost more than a few good friends to suicide or accidental OD. All I can offer you is this:

It never, ever, ever hurts any less. There's nothing that "truely" makes it better. Might not sound nice but it's how it is. That loss will likely haunt you for the rest of your life. That said, whether now or over time, in whatever way you can, if you let that pain out, if you don't deny yourself the right to feel bad and grieve when you need to - even if it hits you… And I mean "truly" hits you, years from now, that pain will get easier to carry. Never less, but easier.

Do whatever you need to do to heal, however long it takes, in whatever ways you need. Your friend, too, was likely using drugs in a desperate attempt to try to cope with some pain or demons he didn't know how to fix… try not to resent how it happened, for all the good things in your friendship and for yourself. When you're ready, remember and appreciate and love and hate and just fucking feel all the memories, good and bad. But don't let yourself get stuck in them, in the circumstances, or the pain. And no matter how hard it may become at times not to blame yourself, feel like you could've or should've done more, remember this:
It's not your fault.
It'll never be your fault, anon.

I know no words can make this better, but from one anon to the other - I hope you're able to find peace with your pain.

No. 541555

>>541538
I'm sorry for your loss, anon.
Your post made me think about my own friends and how my relationship with them isn't that deep. It kind of makes me sad.
I really wanted to experience real friendship in this life but guess it will never happen.

No. 541560

File: 1587002305989.gif (1.93 MB, 245x246, 1449119019641.gif)

Became friends with a younger girl who's basically a personality clone of myself. I really like her. By chance since we're so similar, she highlighted something I do that attracts bad men. I'm really self-conscious about this, I feel like such a fool for never realizing I did this before.
For background this girl just got out of a world of shit for being someone's ride or die pickme. Won't go into refined details, but it was her second serious relationship. When it ended she walked away with a court date, a seized car that she will never get back, the loss of her paralegal job, and a huge blow to her self-esteem. He went to jail but he tried to blame her for everything and then blocked her. I tried to pinkpill her a little but she told me she would have taken him back if he hadn't blocked her. Yikes. Now I've never gotten into that much trouble for a man, but I have taken men back for committing an unforgivable wrong against me while they blamed me for it. All because of my need for love and the guilt of sunk cost. I think it's so tragic and I related to her so much.
Anyways what freaks me out is that it was only my second time hanging out with her and yet I already knew so much about her! She told me additional stories about her medical needs, and just some more general info about her life like interests. Now to a person like me, I appreciate the openness and I take showing me vulnerabilities as a certain sign of being comfortable. This is the type of girl who'll stick her neck out for ya.
So how does someone like her–someone like me–wind up with abusive men?

Then I realize that predators can spot us from a mile away because we are so trusting, open, and completely naive about what abusive people will do to manipulate this information in their favor. That's why it's so jarring when someone seems to open up so quick, not because it's a horrible thing but because it truly does make someone so exposed and vulnerable like why? I'm so ashamed and I've definitely done this for the past year and a half while reeling from my last long term relationship. I guess it made me sound nuts. Some men never wanted a second date (now I know why), and the ones who I dated or had situationships with, turned out to be abusers or manipulating me for their selfish gains.
Fucking hello! How could I have been so blind?
I'm so ashamed, I'm such an idiot. She's younger than me so I'm going to try to set a good example, not just for her sake obv. When we went for a constitutional the other day I managed to seal her conviction that now is a horrible time to date or worry about men, and that we should focus on becoming our best selves. Which is absolutely true. I think we both could benefit from being single for awhile.

No. 541570

The blood in my veins is lined with pure cringe. I really can't stand myself.

No. 541571

>>540124
>wasn’t growing in height
How old are you? Lmao

No. 541584

I hope I get to hug my grandma again, I can't wait for the pandemic to be over

No. 541587

>>541584
wholesome. i hope you get to hug her too

No. 541591

>>535754
I don't understand why socializing is so difficult for me. In structured settings like at my work or in college I'm great at speaking and am especially great at public speaking. yet, when it comes to connecting with people my age and letting my personality show I come across so awkward and I literally just want to shrivel up and die. Mainly because my mind literally goes blank when I'm around new people. It's becoming suicide material at this point, I hate being an outcast and having to see other people connect with each other so easily and with so much confidence.

No. 541592

File: 1587011515990.jpeg (35.92 KB, 720x533, 09293286-9007-4676-876E-EE1B06…)

I swear all these coronavirus conspiracy theories that have emerged have my mum one viral whatsapp message away from becoming just a full on domestic terrorist or something what is wrong with boomers why do they believe this stuff so easily

No. 541596

>>541592
fucking kek that's beautiful ilu anon
re: boomers would love to know also.

No. 541599

>>541592
I feel like she would believe in sharks with freakin' lasers attached to their heads.

No. 541601

>>541507
Big same. Bf does all that shit too and it gets to me. I never leave because I'm spineless and I love him kek. I'm the curator of my own suffering

No. 541602

File: 1587012710829.jpg (36.52 KB, 563x554, 8961086a4ebd621753f783388179f6…)

feeling particularly ugly and untalented

No. 541603

>>541592
What's funny is that there's people posting shit like this in our very own tinfoil thread.

No. 541604

>>541602
Why do I suddenly see madison beer everywhere? I've seen 4 tweets on my feed within the past two weeks saying madison beer is beautiful. Did she become relevant for the first time or something?

No. 541605

>>541604
Tiktok

No. 541616

File: 1587016619865.jpg (41.28 KB, 574x439, 8af275f30e04b8f410f312861d9dff…)

>>541176
I already felt really disconnected from society before this and now it's pushing me over the edge. I wish I could at least go outside on a hike or something but they closed everything.

No. 541621

>>535754
I really don't want to teach anymore because it's a shit ton of work and verbal abuse with shit pay. I would rather design curriculum or be a content writer but other fields don't understand how much hard work goes into a teaching degree and how much discipline is needed to teach. They just see "Education" and throw the application in the trash.

No. 541645

>>541621
Could you tell me more about it anon? I'm starting a pgce and I'm already fearful thst it's too much work but I don't know how else to get a job that pays 26k…

No. 541653

I am so upset that I never find any pants that are long enough unless theyre regular basic pants.

it makes me want to lash out at those bitches of TITP complaining they cant fit clothes while chances that a store has a plus size section are so much higher than them having a tall section. They can put down the fork and lose weight but what am I supposed to do? Schrink myself??

I got upset about this shopping for pants where they had a plus size version of each piece and 0 tall versions of anything…

also I almost always wear skirts or shorts since long pants… well…

No. 541654

>>541645
26k? Where do you live? Where I live starting pay is 50k. With that being said the amount of work that needs to be put in day in and day out still doesn't match when you compare a teaching salary to that of a desk job. As an English teacher I'm responsible for preparing each and every unit, day to day plan, homework assignment, project, and exam for my classes. I teach 3 subjects so times that by 3. I work at an affluent school where parents are very pushy and refuse to believe their kids are lying to them when they say they turned in their essay and that I just "lost it". On top of that you have to go to department meetings, professional development, and put a lot of money into your own classroom. I'm not trying to be negative; there are still positives to the job like winter and summer breaks and the relationships with students. With that being said, the positive moments with students don't make it worth it in my personal opinion. I know a lot of teachers who say it's worth it. I'm more of a creative and went into teaching because I thought it would be a good creative outlet , but with the amount of curriculum requirements out there, there's not a ton of room for that. Best of luck though, and I don't know if you have to do the edtpa but good luck with that as well.

No. 541655

>>541653
How tall are you? ASOS has a tall line that makes the same exact clothing as the regular clothing. My cousin is 5'9 and we both wear the same exact style despite me being 5'4

No. 541657

>>541655
I'm 177cm (thats almost 5'10 I think)
Thanks for the tip I will look into it.
I just got upset while looking for harem pants from a stupid cheap website, I just wanted comfy colorful pants to wear at home but the past has shown me they're always too small and ride up my ankles and I cant stand that.
I once bought tall harem pants from etsy (wich were 40" long) but even those ride up my ankles unless I wear them really low on my hips.

No. 541660

>>541657
It's this site harempants… they have like 100 different pants and for each a plus size version….not one tall version
I'm more upset about this than I should be really but I'm just tired of it is all…

No. 541661

>>541660
did anyone ask what the site was…

No. 541662

>>541661
Nobody asked for you to comment either. I thought it was helpful information.

No. 541664

>>541661
this is the vent thread, just let me vent ok?

No. 541670

>>541662
yeah actually you're right. I'm sure all the female NBA players using this site for harem pant website recs will find this super useful, thanks anon ♥

No. 541671

>>541223
One thing you could consider doing for the pills is smearing them in a decent amount of butter. I've seen that work pretty well. If cutting the pills into smaller chunks is also an option, you could try that as well.

No. 541675

my friend is weirdly jealous. she still has a problem with me about my past best friend - that I've always liked said friend more than her. (duh? they were my best friend) She's like, now they're out of your life and I'm here, you should appreciate that more. I mean… yes, she' not wrong, but she brings it up basically every time I mention that friend. Like move on? It's been years, and secundo I won't apologise for liking someone more, even if we're not on good terms now, that's ridiculous.
Now she's angry with me because she proposed video-chatting, I said yeah, we should do it sometime. Later that day I told her I played a game with a boy I like and all she got from it was that I played games with him instead of video-chatting with her. And that it was rude to even tell her about it, I should have kept that to myself because now she feels shitty and like I didn't appreciate her proposal. Honestly I find it absurd and invasive. So I can't have any human interaction until I officially set a date and hour for the video-chat?
I'm a bit awkward so maybe she's right and I'm insensitive, tell me. Or is she really acting weirdly?

No. 541678

>>541675
May she be in love with you? Otherwise yes, she’s being invasive, even if she was your bestfriend it would be bad. You’d better confront her and take some distance.

No. 541680

My body dysmorphia is getting out of control
I black out and do shit. Most recently I blacked out and slashed my cheeks, forehead and breasts, the other night I blew all my money on corsets, titty pills, wigs and makeup. I'm scared I'm going to black out and kill myself or harm others and I can't afford therapy

No. 541682

>>541680
>titty pills
>scared I'm going to harm others
Troons we're a mistake. Men we're a mistake.

No. 541684

>>541682
>Women who are insecure about small tits are trannies/men
Sure helped me

No. 541685

>>541675
>Like move on? It's been years, and secundo I won't apologise for liking someone more, even if we're not on good terms now, that's ridiculous.
Do you not get the irony in that statement? You're saying you're friend should move on about you liking this girl more, but you're not moving on from prioritizing someone you're no longer on good terms with over a friend who is still in your life and clearly cares a lot about you.

>Now she's angry with me because she proposed video-chatting, I said yeah, we should do it sometime. Later that day I told her I played a game with a boy I like and all she got from it was that I played games with him instead of video-chatting with her.

She's being over-sensitive about this, but it's probably boiled up frustration about feeling underappreciated by you.

No. 541686

>>541682
Taking titty pills doesn't necessarily mean anon is a troon. They make titty pills for women and many take them. They're not FDA approved and probably have horrific side effects, but they are a thing.

No. 541691

>>541680
>>541684
Look at all the threads on here about girls who had cute bodies and then fucked them up trying to bimbofy themselves with botched surgeries and tacky styling. I have a cups and I get it sucks sometimes but small boobs are cute and they don't get in the way when you're trying to work out or give you back pain. You absolutely must set up a phone or video appointment with a therapist - there are still options out there for you to get help under isolation.

No. 541693

I am sick of smoking.

But sitting on the porch and having a dart feels so fucking good.

No. 541698

working on an advanced research project after working 8 hours and i want to actually kms because i can't understand this and i'm too busy and i can't stand this shit. idk how im paying for life after this semester so i might as well just die from coronavirus since i'm exposed to it every fucking day anyway lol

No. 541701

>>541698
I'm proud of you stranger. I actually mean that. I have a lot of respect for people who put themselves in overdrive like it seems you are/have been doing. You'll find a way with that type of drive.

No. 541702

>>535754
I struggled with friendships for YEARS I didn't have any IRL close friends for 7 years and even online ones didn't like me that much or we just would fall apart, I finally met this girl in collage and we became really close friends, I feel comfortable around her and I don't feel like I'm going to get judged.

but, with time I grew uncomfortable because she comes from an upper-middle-class background and we have lots of differences there and it makes me feel inferior in lots of situations. She also has a lot of friends, I don't even know all of them and all of them are from higher classes too and some are plain rich and I feel really out of place when they're around.

She definitely sees me as a friend but she prefers being her childhood/school friends and she seems to be the type who makes friends with everyone she has to spend time with (she has like 4 besties) so I'm not that special really, I'm just a classmate she had, but she's on the top of my social media contacts since I don't have that many friends, in fact, I don't have any close friends at all.

She'd not open my messages for days, and sometimes if she knew we were gonna meet she opens them and replies minutes before arriving, she never says sorry or explains why she never opens/replies to my messages. we've been friends for 8 months and this was the situation the whole time, she also started dating this boy 4 months ago and didn't tell me until last week but she told all her other friends which only proves that I'm merely someone she knows and quite frankly I started feeling that she is judging me for my background/looks/financial situation/..etc, but I'm also feeling that I'm making this up because I'm insecure so I don't really know.

I'm beginning to think she only finds me interesting (maybe for style/taste?). I'm kinda butthurt that I'll never have a close friend or a bestie, makes me sad and envious seeing people with best friends and a connection, I just have to accept that I'll never have a best friend.

No. 541704

>>541684
>>541686
women don't call them titty pills, only braindead coomers call them that plus most women don't buy wigs unless it was for cosplay or something. it is a troon. nasty men can't leave something for women, can they?(hi scrote!)

No. 541706

>>541704
>Women with mental health problems don't exist! You must be a brain dead cooker! What is trich?

I hope you find it in your heart and mind to realize a lot of women aren't all perfect little puppets of what you picture women to be

No. 541708

>>541706
Meh idk that anon had a point, why that combo of insecurities. Corset for square waist, pills for boobs, wigs for longer hair. Every girl I have ever seen with body has specific things they fixate on like nose shape not generalizations of stereotypical femininity. I too smell something funny(hi troon)

No. 541709

>>541678
>>541685
I don't think she is, she has a boyfriend, and she seems very hetero.
You're right about boiled-up frustration, anon, but it's not just with me. She has an insecurity that she always tries the hardest in relationships. I can understand that, but it's not completely fair. She's demanding and if you don't adjust, she holds grudges and victimizes herself. It's hard to please her, you're always doing less than she'd like and she'll let you know in some absurd way. Like getting resentful that I'm gaming with a boy.

>prioritizing someone you're no longer on good terms with over a friend who is still in your life

Where did you get that from? Moving from pioritizing…? I can't rewrite the past. We weren't even close back then, we'd argue way more. She has to find closure for that, not for mine but her own sake. I already told her I apologize for making her feel underappreciated, and I told her things I appreciate her for… In return, she's still arguing about the video-chat thing. That it's not crazy for her to expect a date, not a "sometime we'll chat". I'm just tired. Maybe I really should take some distance. Thanks.

No. 541711

>>541708
So you invalidate my body dysmorphia and insecurity about my femininity by claiming I'm not a woman? Bravo. I wonder what you think about the Kardashians or ig models who blow tons of money to be hyperfeminine figures

No. 541719

>>541704
So many women wear wigs… especially in different cultures or just people who like to change up their appearance a lot

Anyway unpopular opinion ig but even if you disagree with trans people politically or whatever I still think it’s pretty horrible to be dismissive when someone, trans or not, is talking about experience severe body dysmorphia, self harm and suicide. Either way it doesn’t matter because anon said nothing about being trans or that would even suggest they are to any normal person.

No. 541723

>>541719
>anon said nothing about being trans or that would even suggest they are to any normal person.
You mean except saying 'titty skittles', a phrase invented and exclusively used by trannies? Actual women aren't likely to use such a nauseatingly sexualized term for medication, just men who get off on the idea of having boobs. Maybe anon is a woman and just hopelessly obtuse about the sort of language she's using but you can't actually be surprised that anons are suspicious when someone says shit like that.

And men posting on here deserve to be dismissed no matter what they post, regardless of whether it's political or mental health related.(hi scrote!)

No. 541727

>>541723
Nah it’s shitty to react so cruelly to another human being who has as an individual done literally nothing wrong, there’s no reason they would ‘deserve’ it. The rule is that men shouldn’t announce themselves or seek validation and that wasn’t done.

No. 541731

Why does nostalgia exist. I remember everything soooo much better than it was, even times where I rationally know I literally hated at the time and am so much better of now I idealise so much. It’s such a useless emotion I wish I understood more why I feel it.

No. 541733

>>541723
Nobody said titty skittles, literally just look at reviews of women on breast enhancement products and you can see bio women use the exact term. You are just paranoid and an asshole who believes women can only act or say certain things

You're sitting here flipping your shit just because an Anon said "titty pills". Please stay out things if you can't have a discussion without being an ass over something as small as a single term used

No. 541735

If you suspect someone of being male you can easily report and ignore it, instead of going into a tangent about how much you hate trannies because you made an assumption.

No. 541738

>>541359
This is exactly how i was thinking about it, just some weirdass label to force attachment. But at the same time i am someone who thinks of siblings as "their parents' other kids" and nothing more lmao

No. 541751

File: 1587039254490.jpg (26.31 KB, 567x425, IMG_20200330_005727.jpg)

I can't take this anymore scoob.

I live in an European country that has been in quarantine for 32 days already and I've already lost it. For the past week I've been bursting into tears every night and today I started crying first thing in the morning and it hasn't stopped yet.

This situation has made me realize how isolated I am. I depend so much on routine and going to college/living in a dorm to have social interaction and without those things I don't have any friends. I keep seeing people I know from school have zoom evenings where they all play games, watch movies and chat and I wish I could have that so bad. But I don't, I'm so scared of loss that I can only form surface-level friendships that for some reason I can't bring myself to contact outside of school or work.

I'm so sad and lonely, anons. It's silly, but I wish so bad I could have a friend group to talk with once a week during this quarantine, to be a part of something. But I blew it, I feel like I never learned how to create meaningful bonds with people because for 20 years of my life I had to move countries every year and leave my entire life behind each time, so at one point it just because easy and even comforting to keep people at a distance. This way I wouldn't hurt as bad when I had to leave and be alone again.

I don't want to act like this anymore, but I don't know how to stop isolating myself. Please help, anons. Fuck this quarantine.

No. 541754

>>541751
I’m kind of in the exact same boat as you, all my social interactions day to day pretty much cake from having to see people at school or like the people who knew me at the coffee shop I go to everyday. I have friends but not like a group of super close friends who I could do a zoom evening with and I wish I did so bad. It really has been extremely depressing. I hope it gets easier for you or at least that wherever you are they reduce the lockdowns soon. Maybe this experience will help you in the future, this perspective may mean when this is over you may be more proactive and inclined to form closer friendships? (This is what I’m telling myself to try and find some silver lining, because I think most of my situation is due to me not wanting to put myself out of my comfort zone - maybe I can learn from this a little that close friendships actually mean more to me than I may have thought)

No. 541758

File: 1587041560912.jpeg (32.85 KB, 512x288, 1584942167474.jpeg)

My mother's the most ridiculous person to ever exist.
The same woman who would yell at us for using the internet back when we were little kids is now the same one who's addicted to her social medias and cannot even stand still for a day without having to post something. She used to yell at us so much, telling my father to take the WiFi router away because "we are addicted to our phones" but now she's even worse. We cannot even buy something because she ALWAYS has to take a picture of it, post it on her Instagram feed or story because she thinks that "everyone's so jealous of her" and "they're all fuming whenever they see her". Bought a pan a few weeks ago and still refuses to use it because "she needs to take a picture of it and post it on her social media but doesn't have the perfect opportunity now". This woman doesn't even have any friends but posts pictures on her stories that she's currently outside with them and enjoying themselves. Even gives them fake names, prepares three extra cake plates and cups for the pictures to make it look like they're all her friends and she's so "popular". You cannot even call her out on her bullshit because she will start verbally abusing you and calling you names and how dare you do that you are so evil for saying that bla bla bla.

No. 541759

>>541751
Are you in Spain anon? I'm in a somewhat similar situation but I have a group of online friends and we hang out on discord. Maybe you'll join us?

No. 541762

>>541708
You're right, no woman worries about having a fridge body or lack of curves from being column or apple-shaped; women with bodies like that are never told they're unfeminine or look like little boys, that their partners are secretly pedos, etc. Get offline and talk to some normie women off r/GenderCritical.

No. 541765

>>541751
Could lolcow bitches throw some movie night sometime? I feel like I am seeing a lot of these kinds of posts and i mean- might as well?

No. 541769

>>541450
I'm so sorry, anon. Women are constantly being gaslit about our health. The medical industry is fucked.
This kind of shit is why I'm wary of the onus of birth control solely being placed on women.
Scrotes buy a fucking condom and/or apply vasigel challenge.

No. 541772

>>541758

>This woman doesn't even have any friends but posts pictures on her stories that she's currently outside with them and enjoying themselves. Even gives them fake names, prepares three extra cake plates and cups for the pictures


That is all kind of lunatic behavior…is she just like this with social media or in general? Sounds like therapist time

No. 541776

>>541772
All the time. Her family has a long history of mental illness and she doesn't have anything diagnosed but I truly believe that she's narcissistic and even possibly bipolar from all the things I've experienced with her throughout my life. We have even asked her before if it isn't weird how she's making all those people up and she got offended that we'd think like that over her and said no she doesn't care, she just wants to post.
She has our relatives on her social medias too and they're all in another country (which is way more shittier than the one we live in) so she's constantly showing off and bragging about having money and how she's better.

No. 541779

I am sick of the cry baby that whines about BPD anons all of the time. You do realize that everybody on this hellsite has a mental illness right? Nobody sane sits on a bootleg 4chan to talk shit about people.
That’s all.

No. 541785

Narcolepsy sucks. I feel like I missed out on so much of my adolescence because I was literally asleep for almost all of it & I feel like there’s never going to be a cure because the financial incentive to fund research for it is low considering so few people have it.

No. 541788

>>541538
I agree with the other anon, and honestly cry wherever you need to as time passes. I found myself about to cry many times in theaters from a scene that just hit me about the people who did die in my life.

as for my own vent: I wish so god damn bad I could nap like normal people I can only sleep in 7-15 hour increments and getting less than 6 makes me feel sick, and anything over it I still feeling god damn tired through out the day. with this virus my sleep routine is jumping all over the damn place. ive really started to question if something is wrong with me since no amount of food, sleep, exercise will cure this jet-lag feeling ive had for like 2 years now. to top it off i recently had a weird moment where i parked and forgot where/who i was for a few seconds. then when i tried to move everything felt like extreme vertigo it was just god damn scary. i still feel like half the time things are moving sideways but not on the level that was at least. im tired of feeling weak and tired with my obgyn saying its nothing other than excessive estrogen as well as my primary dr being closed.

No. 541793

I’m writing a suicide note. My boyfriend is being such a dick to me, my friends are ignoring me and obviously quarantine is happening. Life isn’t worth it anymore. Goodbye everyone.

No. 541796

>>541793
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

No. 541797

I fucking hate my job. I'm a bank teller and my bank hasn't reduced hours or done anything to reduce risk during Corona. Yesterday an old woman came in to cash a 27¢ check. 27 fucking cents! Old people literally come by just because they want to get out of the house and management does nothing about it! I'm going to die because these dumb old fucks can't sit their asses at home or use online banking! This shit is not essential! Use your damn debit card, Merriam!

No. 541799

I'm sexually frustrated because social distancing has become so ingrained I can't have masturbatory fantasies. I think of a scenario and have a second of feeling lusty but then I think I can't even go near this hot stranger because of social distancing.

I can't have sex with my partner because we've had to isolate separately and I can't even even get myself off. I tried to imagine we just met at a clinic and found out we'd been given the all clear but that's a shit situation to work into a fantasy.

The world's changed too much too quickly. I hope I'm not scarred permanently when the vaccine appears.

No. 541800

File: 1587046607866.gif (2.36 MB, 344x352, b27966140db68d0621628f2309f8a4…)

>>541793
stop being such a crybaby and acting like a bpd fag who wants to manipulate their friends and loved ones with suicide because of an unfortunate thing happening

no wonder they're all avoiding you or being mean

No. 541801

>>541800
I haven’t told any of them about this. The only one that knows about my suicidal thoughts is my therapist lol shut the fuck up

No. 541802

>>541793
At least you can have sex

No. 541804

>>541799
are you autistic lol what the fuck

No. 541807

>>541801
I'm sorry but you in your previous post you just literally blamed your friends for wanting to take your own life. Your friends ignoring you is not a reason for you to blame them.
I'm not sure how much of a dick your bf is and if he does abuse you or worse then I'm sorry. If he is just a regular dick just talk to him.

Life does get better anon, you sound very young. Just keep going to therapy and don't give up. Try to reason with your bf and maybe make some new friends or talk to other people. Maybe they are ignoring you because life is so hectic because of corona.

No. 541809

>>541799
Genuinely I find this post fascinating for multiple reasons, maybe I’m reading too much into it but idk I feel like you’d be a really interesting person to be friends with.

No. 541810

>>541804
Brainwashed. Living in a high rise block in a major city I don't want to stand next to any random. Now I can't even imagine it being safe to imagine.

No. 541812

>>541776
>>541758
My mom is very similar, woah. Even the part about being from a shittier country. She's completely obsessed with facebook likes, and admits it out loud. I have a bunch of stupid mental issues that cause me to have a panic attack whenever I see photos of myself and I beg her constantly to consider my feelings before posting a photo of me on facebook but she doesn't give a single shit. My brother (who has similar issues to me) has started charging her money to post pictures of him, and she actually pays him?!

I guess the only difference with our moms is that mine is unfortunately very popular irl, which makes it worse sometimes because it adds to her delusion that she's not a manipulative shitty overgrown sorority girl. She openly admits to being cold to her friends on purpose because she doesn't care about them and doesn't understand why they're so "attached" to her.

At this point my brother and I have armchair diagnosed her as narcissistic, but my dad is too obsessed with her and a doormat. Sorry for ranting about my own mom, I felt really relieved reading your post because I worry that I'm just imagining things.

No. 541815

>>541793
> I’m writing a suicide note. My boyfriend is being such a dick to me

I mean do what you want but what a shitty reason to do it, giving him a piece of your mind and dumping him sounds like an actual solution to this..

No. 541817

File: 1587047882221.jpeg (6.09 KB, 267x139, download.jpeg)

>>541809
I would definitely do coffee with you but…yeah. Hngg. I just need someone to hold me because I'm scared that I'll never get laid or do myself ever again.

No. 541819

>>541812
I totally feel you, anon! And I'm very relieved that I am not the only one with a mother like this. I am very sorry that you have to deal with a lunatic like that too. I genuinely understand you so well with the "I beg her constantly to consider my feelings before posting a photo of me on facebook but she doesn't give a single shit." because it's also the same with my sister. She has diagnosed depression and anxiety and my mother either posts pictures of her on her social media or random cakes she's baked herself with the caption "Look what my daughter made me! Xx", which is not true at all but she has to keep up her image of "loving mother with loving children!!".

Everything is just so incredibly tiring. And then they have the nerves to say that the younger generation is brainwashed all thanks to their phones.

No. 541827

File: 1587048679409.jpeg (110.09 KB, 933x914, B24B6BEE-AEBE-4150-8C77-1A60CE…)

I will sound like an ass but i hate my parents so much, if you absolutely insist on being retarded at least dont fucking touch me. weeks into quarantine and their presence makes me physically cringe. I never asked for love attention time or whatever, just some basic human respect, if you cant manage that why not just stfu???? being in the same room with my mother feels like its with a hobo corpse and each time she talks i wanna throw up.

No. 541828

>>541693
i feel that. i smoke half a pack a day and due to corona shit i can't afford it rn because a bag of tobacco is 20 quid so i'm about 5 days without smoking now which is the longest i've ever gone. i just want one, it's really frustrating bc i was really upset last night and i knew if i just had one i would have been able to calm down

No. 541831

>>541797
for real? God that is frustrating, what the hell. Old people, man

No. 541833

>>541522
almost identical to my story but im stuck with bf and hes being super mean and telling me to shut up every time i speak

No. 541845

>>541785
I had a friend I lost sight of who suffered from this too, it felt like a heavy burden to carry each days, from the terrible nightmares and hallucinations to the social associated with this disease, as she had trouble finding a partner willing to live with someone suffering from this. I hope she's doing well, and I wish the same for you, I get how desperate you must feel some times because of this

No. 541846

File: 1587050924353.jpg (420.21 KB, 750x1153, 18-Clarke--The-Dream--Pope--Th…)

>>541845
social stigma*

No. 541852

REEEEEEEEEE I cannot get myself to stop vomiting this morning. It's a symptom of a stupid chronic illness so gravol, even ondansetron is futile. I wish I could channel my vomit-energy into usable fuel, I swear it could supply a full street with power for a week. I took out my frustrations on my body by donating it to science when I die. My soul will be gone, so it'll just be punishment towards my body for being so dumb. It's what she deserves!

No. 541869

>>541828
Buy an ego e-cig vape thing, atomisers and juice. My batteries cost a tenner and the one I've got now I've used non stop for two years. Atomisers are a quid eachvat Poundland. Their ejuices are meh flqvours but a quid and go up to 11mg (I think).

I had to switch because I cant affird cigs but I buy a tobacco and it lasts me months, having a couple of slim rollies a day.

Nicotine addiction's fucking awful. Vaping with this olde school thing is better than nothing. A lot better.

No. 541877

>>541833
why are you still with him? i'm starting to think it's a good thing i'm not overly attached to ppl like anons here

No. 541900

>>541828
It's not just the craving, but the ritual.

No. 541917

I'm a little freaked out because I think my tonsil is growing back? I had them taken out when I was like 13 or 14 years old, I'm in my late 20s now. The problem is there really aren't good pictures of it on the internet from what I tried to google, so I don't really know. I'm not known to have allergies, but it's possible that due to the pollen, I have a constant post nasal drip. I often wake up with bad breath and have snot constantly.

It's only on my right tonsil though, so if it's nasal drip it doesn't make a lot of sense for it to have only made one tonsil irritated. Also the swelling is not where my tonsils are but more towards the back bottom like behind my tongue slightly? It's very difficult to explain the placement. I started noticing because there's this sudden pinchy/sharp type of pain sometimes when I breathe deeply, yawn, swallow, etc. Not all the time, it just feels like something's there.
I'd ask a dentist but they're all closed due to covid afaik. My doctor's appointment is in a couple weeks but I have no confidence in the bitch I'm seeing. It's a sliding scale joint because I'm uninsured so they don't really take too much care to look into problems. My impression of her is that she just assumed that if you complain about something you must be a malingering munchie. I did not like her, she had no manner and was pretty rude to me.

No. 541919

>>541917
Swelling and bad breath makes me think of an infection

No. 541924

>>541779
Fucking kek, I'm not gonna dispute that assertion.

No. 541928

>>541751
i'm sorry anon that's really awful. i know it's fucking scary, but maybe reach out to one of those surface level friends? just to play some vidjo or mention that you're a fan of whatever they're watching in their zoom movie night? you never know who could turn out to be a real friend. plus everyone is so bored they'll be more likely to say "ah what the hell why not" even if they don't know you that well lol

No. 541942

I've been feeling very down and my anxiety has been getting worse since i'm stuck at home, barely having any friends to talk to and my parents keep fighting non-stop today and then some other shit happened and i'm just crying over here, on the verge of a breakdown and i don't want my mom to come to me later and complain about everything. Why does she only bother ME with this?

No. 541952

>>540756
I still can’t have penetrative sex and am literally part man, I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone

No. 541969

>>540739
>As if that’s not bad enough I look masculine as shit on the surface too. Manhands, linebacker shoulders, insane amounts of body hair and I’m like 5’9 or 5’10 or something. Even if I looksmaxxed and men started being attracted to me they’d leave me as soon as they found out what I’m like on bottom

Not the same as being intersex obvs but I was on testosterone for a while so I have effects like quite an enlarged clit and some permanent changes like my voice and body hair, if you're confident in liking your own body as it is.. there are definitely men out there with alternative tastes to the usual 'I only like uber feminine girly girls' and people can love androgyny without it always being a degenerate thing.

Obviously your first sexual partner acted immature so I really don't blame you for feeling the way you feel now. Were you ever offered therapy to help navigate issues like sex? I would think it's necessary but then I've heard all sorts of stories where intersex people have been left without support or resources.

No. 541992

There are anti-choice protesters who keep showing up to harass women going into the reproductive clinics in my state despite the stay at home and no gathering orders. Apparently police have been called but are lenient and don't tell them to disperse or anything. They're back the very next day. I live in the Bible Belt btw.

Is there some kind of organization or maybe a women's editorial I could write to about this issue? It needs attention. It's insane what the religious are getting away with here…

No. 542010

I have a family friend who's anti vegan and she keeps taking and hiding my vegan products on orders of my father. Should I feel guilty for this? I didn't go vegan to make life a living bait I just wanted to eat less meat

No. 542012

i'm so angry at this garbage 'yaaay happy clappy 8pm time for all of our NHS staff and keyworkers!' and celebrities posting cringe factor 'thanks to all our keyworkers; we LOVE you!' videos to their social medias. i find it in poor taste, tactless and COMPLETELY SELF SERVING!! i am dreading going into work every day because of lack of PPE, managers not giving a shit and all the horror stories about young nurses dying… fuck the whole 'nursing is a calling' shit. i'm exhausted. i'll be vilified if i don't go into work but i'll risk my health and my families if i do…

No. 542021

>>542012
I agree. My family work in the intensive care unit and said the same thing about it being self serving and distasteful, they are still having to work in unsafe conditions without PPE etc and put their lives in unnecessary risk, portraying them as hero’s is just dehumanising, it makes it seem like it’s just an inevitable, selfless sacrifice when they get ill and die and not totally preventable and a result of government failure.

My neighbour did an entire clarinet rendition of over the rainbow at 8 today and it just feels so self serving, literally no one is enjoying it but them.

No. 542025

File: 1587083526525.png (158.97 KB, 529x402, 44840bfa-7345-455b-8340-d43a19…)

My teacher never gave me a deadline then gave me 4 Fs across her subjects when I "didn't deliver the work on time"

Prior to this she only warned me yesterday that I should send her my work, so I started working on my assignments, finished 4/7 and planned to send them tomorrow when I finish the other three, only to check my phone and find out she effectively lowered my grade in every single subject she teaches. I can't remember the last time I wanted to die this badly. Good luck to me getting into college I guess.

No. 542036

>>541992
I wish protesting clinics was illegal. Why is harassment suddenly protected under free speech when it's to intimidate women exercising their reproductive rights?

No. 542045

File: 1587085508258.jpg (57.48 KB, 640x626, 1585872142378.jpg)

>>535754
mom told me I was one of the reasons she wanted to kill herself

No. 542048

>>542010
Of course you shouldn't feel guilty. What you eat is no-ones business and it's stupid to be anti-vegan. It's your food and no one has a right to touch it. I suggest you talk to her and your father about it if you haven't. Explain to them how disrespectful it is, and that they wouldn't like it if you did the same to them.

No. 542051

>>542045
Wow fuck your mom. Sorry anon, one day it will matter less what she thinks.

No. 542053

>>542045
what is exactly the context?

No. 542059

File: 1587089692572.jpg (48.51 KB, 720x680, zxy4cr8ej8m21.jpg)

Turns out the girl I'm in love with has actually been leading me on for months because the guy she's fucking has a lesbian fetish!
I thought we were dating! Haha!

No. 542060

>>542059
christ what a bitch. hope they get stds anon

No. 542064

My boyfriend and even some of my guy friends will just lazily itch their balls, it's so gross like.. wtf? and I call it out and he's like "Well, they're itchy." even if it wasn't there scratching an itchy spot for a while only makes it worse.. Then his hands smell. I would never break up or make a scene over that but god it's just, gross and confusing? It's so common with guys. I've had itchy vag but if I'm gonna scratch at it I go to the bathroom..

No. 542070

>>542064
fuck that shit. i scratch my vag wherever too. it's not like people don't know it's there lol.

No. 542074

I,m beginning to care less and less about activism and politics in general when I should especially since I belong to a vulnerable class of people. Every single political group or political oriented space I get into and begin to identify with turns into complete dog shit. Just becomes filled with toxic, fake, and performative motherfuckers. I wish I was in a position to just say fuck everyone and everything and only look out for myself as an individual. Sounds kinda retarded I know, but I find myself desperately looking for a sense of community with other like minded people.

No. 542077

I refuse to do anything and by that I mean anything, including getting out of bed or brushing my hair. I just want to do things that make me feel good and nothing even slightly uncomfortable. I feel like I'm the only person who exists in this world. Not a copypasta, I just don't know how to phrase this shit

No. 542078

>>542077
Is this something you want to change or are you okay with it?

No. 542079

>>542077
Are you my cat?

No. 542083

>>541769
Thanks for your condolences, Anon. I do find some solace in that I (at least hope) my health issues are reversible with some time & renewed effort once I remove it. And I do want to believe there's a happy medium of more pros than cons for some women and hormonal birth control, even outside of not getting an unwanted pregnancy.

But fuck me if I won't be using it any time soon. At this point I'd rather get my tubes tied and accept a lack of bio-offspring. The way the hormonal IUD was practically sold to me by every doctor too, disgusting they all treated it like some miracle thing with 0 consequences considering some of the other, far worse and life threatening side effects lots of women have experienced.

but, as they say… c'est la vie

No. 542084

>>542077
I relate strongly with this, anon. Know that you're not alone.

No. 542086

The birds where I live have evolved so their chirping can be heard over the noise of 24/7 traffic and other bustling city noises.

Now that movement restrictions have been implemented, they sound incredibly, unnaturally loud and jarring. Their high pitched screeching is driving me crazy, I'm getting the desire to murder them with the noisiest pneumatic drill out of vengeance.

No. 542088

>>542086
I will trade you my loud partying trash neighbours for your birds. They have been partying every damn weekday.

No. 542104

Did my taxes today and I owe over 200 dollars to my state. Combined with the state refund where I work and go to school and federal refund, I’m netting 40 bucks total. Plus I don’t get any stimulus money because I’m a dependent student. I’m working full time now and this just made me so mad lol meanwhile my boyfriend gets over 2k refund on his taxes plus stimulus GUESS I WILL CONTINUE TO SLAVE AND NEVER SLEEP ITS FINE I hate my life more than ever right now

No. 542112

>>542088
this is my worst nightmare

call cops

No. 542115

>>542112
I have been threatening to call the cops on my neighbors for years now , but my dad always gets mad and tells me to leave them alone (he hates confrontation). They play really loud rock music and yell at their hoes, their hoes children from other men who are staying over, and their dogs all at like 4 am.

No. 542117

I hate how I wasted my entire young adulthood with a guy I wasn't attracted to and who treated me really badly towards the end. I had to stay with him as long as I did because medical issues+a cluster of deaths of loved ones derailed my career and left me financially dependent on him. (Father's a violent alcoholic so moving back in with my parents until I got back on my feet wasn't an option.)

Also I'm definitely way more into women than I am into men (not sure I'm into men at all) and while I've had a couple casual flings with women I feel like I missed out on so many critical romantic experiences and I'm worried that I'm going to be forever alone because of that.

No. 542122

I hate living in a ground floor apartment. All my windows face the alley. I barely get any sunlight and opening my blinds for long periods of times means all the sketch people hanging out in my alley can see in. I was meant to start apartment hunting this month but ya know. The absolute worst part is my cat jumping in the blinds when I am changing/getting dressed lmao I have dropped to the floor so many times. Rent is cheap and I live near a lot of parks so it could be worse but man I miss open windows.

No. 542123

>>542059
Are you the girl my friend met on Tinder? But seriously she basically went on dates and hooked up with her while doing the same to a boy she met on the same app. She dated a girl before but she wanted that D and got together with him. So the girl blocked her and started making passive agressive posts on social media. I do think she was in the right tho, my friend lead her on and was honestly a bitch. And the guy isn't even handsome, he's a nerdy fat guy

No. 542138

>>542122
Just a suggestion but you should look into textured window coverings. They usually stick on but they're slightly transparent so they allow in sunlight. At least it would prevent people from being able to peer in and you could actually open your blinds. Try searching for 'window film.' Come to think of it, there's one-way mirror film you could buy so you'd be able to look out of your window too!

Also I kind of relate anon. I'm on the top floor of my building and while I have a great view, I have to keep my blinds closed especially at night because all 4 adjacent buildings all stare directly into my room. Also you can definitely see into peoples' apartments here if they keep their lights on at night. I may have accidentally flash on more than one occasion.

No. 542142

>>542134
Oh dope! Thank you, anon. The thought of putting some on the bottom half of my windows is almost making me tear up….idk why I didn't even think about something like this.

No. 542158

This pandemic has seriously fucked with my mental health. I spent all of 2019 having compulsions because if i didn't do them I'd make everyone deathly ill. I started becoming better around the later part of 2019 and was able to break out of it and now a world wide pandemic is going on. I've been plagued by anxiety and guilt, it sounds stupid but it feels like my fault

No. 542162

>>542158
Thanks, Obama

No. 542184

>>542158
I hope your mental state gets better anon. OCD is a bitch.

No. 542202

I've been in quarantine for so long (like, 40 days) and between anxiety and laziness I have realized my studies are going downhill. I can only do one lesson a day before I'm ~too tired and can't properly concentrate, my exams are online and in less than two months. I've barely touched upon subjects I find annoying to study, and I don't know how to break free from it. I spend all my days inside, but they still somehow fly by and they're over before I manage to be productive in any way beside like, baking a cake.

No. 542217

>>542074
This is basically a normal part of getting older, and why activists tend to be college-aged or emotionally immature weirdos. As you move on in life, just being with friends and family and being happy and secure becomes more important than always being mad and fighting. It sucks, but a lot of people get burnt out.

No. 542227

seems like my teachers are on a fucking "who can give the most homework" competition

this entire e-learning shit is so annoying it's KILLING me i am not even learning a single thing. all i do is read what we are doing from the book and type it in the documents. i am not learning a single thing. once school starts again i know i am going to fail everything

No. 542248

Anyone here have problems with answering phone calls from an unknown number?
I'm in this situation rn shit.

No. 542268

It genuinely feels that after the no politics, no racebaiting, no PP and no GC rules were added, that spergs on both sides have seriously exploded in the past year.
In the past it seemed like it was only a handful of repeat users, like the admin has clarified, but now it's in every single thread with multiple posters.
Has there been a change of demographics over the past year or so? It feels like there is a disgusting mixture of twitterfags and underageb&'s infesting the site.

No. 542271

>>542248
Answer it and don't say anything. Wait for them to say something first. Then you can just immediately hang up if they sound annoying/retarded/creepy. I do it every time.

No. 542285

>>542248
i don't ever answer. most of these are spam calls. just see if you get a voicemail or 2nd call and then call back or answer next time. even an emergency won't be that dire that anything would change if you answer on the 2nd call.

No. 542327

>>542268
I think a lot of oldfags left lolcow or at least became infrequent. Gotta say sometimes I feel a little outdated compared to the userbase now.

No. 542346

>>542268
i feel like the userbase has significantly lost a good portion of its reading comprehension in exchange for asshurt edginess. A lot of users are eager to rip into each other while peppering their posts with lmaos and passive aggression instead of actually trying to discuss each others points as much as I used to see. we do know males have been stealthily posting to try to antagonize posters with shitty half baked replies so it could be a general reaction to having males constantly trying to piss in our ear, though I don't know if many women realize how many posts are bait now.

No. 542379

>>542268
>>542327
>>542346
I don't know about you guys, but as an oldfag I've become almost entirely a lurker and never bother to post. I simply can't be assed, don't give a fuck to post against or argue with the tards.

I honestly think the influx of 'shittier' users and 'off-culture' posters are just the (unfortunate) 'natural' outcome of lolcow becoming more widespread. Every time someone cowtips or a cow wines publicly about lolcow, a new influx of a different kind of audience stops by.

I also think the majority userbase were previously from /cgl/ and harbored some level of classic 4chan culture, where as now it's probably majority from a combination of KF, PULL, twitter, IG, tumblr, nu-4chan (more in cross over to the others sites) etc… all of which have pretty different cultural 'dynamics' than here.

Obviously lots of factors contributed to this, like the shitty old-admin or the burn out of the admins previous that allowed various raids and non-culture adhering bursts to become the norm. over-banning and rules people generally disagreed with to try to remedy it making others get fed up and leave.

ultimately over all, though, it's just the sad reality of growth; smaller scale but no different than what happened with 4chan. oldfags end up coming less and less for a variety of reasons, end up posting less and less, end up leaving as the newfags (consequently often younger, volatile posters with more time/care) start to take over.

>insert that comic about someone bringing a new member to a DND group and it slowly grows until the game becomes mainstream and the original members don't even recognize it/belong any longer.jpeg

No. 542381

File: 1587145837405.gif (3.93 MB, 500x419, rainyozu.gif)

it's warm but gently drizzling outside and the sun is setting, it would be such a lovely time to walk around with some friends and reminisce together. i didn't go out much before the quarantine except uni and sparse shopping trips, and walks with friends. i do miss seeing those friends very much. i hope you're all doing okay under these conditions

No. 542383

I'm so sick and tired of married men or men in relationships messaging me and wanting to have discreet "fun". There always were such scumbags but now with the coronavirus, it's like the rates of them have tripled. I would bother to message their wife or girlfriend if I weren't burnt in the past. Now I just want to stay out of any possible trouble. But seeing so many men in long term relationships cheating on their women some who even recently gave birth to their child so they don't get sex and having the audacity to complain about it, made me want to cross men out of my life forever.

No. 542391

>>542383
I always hear about men cheating on their partners in those first few weeks after the baby is born, when she's literally healing from the birth. That shit's so depressing.

No. 542398

>>542383
I know the feeling, anon. Not only have I been the "other girl" (no delusions of staying with the dude or anything, just didn't have the moral value to care at the time - felt if the guy wanted to be a piece of shit it was none of my business), but I've been cheated on even in long term relationships where I felt full trust/thought I spent too much time with them for that to be possible. All my male friends have shown they'd fuck other women while in a relationship if they can get away with it, even the ones who deny it would shamelessly and sexually flirt with me at times.

As a result I think I began to cope by just refusing monogamy, like as if "allowing" the men I date the option to sleep around I 'cannot' be cheated on. So far I've only done this in two relationships (both men early 30s), one long term and one a bit more fresh (current, we aren't fully 'dating'). The first one he slept around a bit at first, but seemed to feel it lost it's charm and wanted to be with just me. Unfortunately, I subconsciously refused to allow myself to fully emotionally connect to him (deep down I obviously want to believe in monogamy), and by the time he wanted to 'settle down' I realized I no longer had any inkling of interest.

The second, so far, is pretty open about checking out or showing sexual interest towards other women. I find it hard to believe he wouldn't sleep with another woman 'eventually', though he has my 'permission' right now and despite the commentary, does not seem to actually want to go through the effort. Enjoys the fantasy more than the act, I think. I still find it very hard to believe if the right 'moment' presented itself, permission or not, that a man wouldn't do it. Though you could argue women could/can be the same (whole 'right moment' idea), I think society's sexist propaganda of men needing to spread their seed being 'genetic norm' make that thought/need more ingrained in a lot of them.

It even bothers me that the men who do 'stay loyal' seem to do so of reasons outside of the relationship (like religious belief that's the 'right thing to do').

I sincerely only have eyes for my partner when I'm with someone. I barely even see other people as people in terms of attractiveness compared to them. I could find someone else 'attractive' sexually or physically but it would be akin to how I feel about appreciating another woman as a hetero-woman, I 'get it' but I don't feel it in a way that's compatible with myself. At the same time, I know this isn't the feeling all women have, as there are lots of women whose eyes wander endlessly and cheat just as men do… which is why I think it has more to do with societal outlook/environmental factors over time. I also think a lot of people cheat out of low self esteem/sense of self over desire for sex itself… I think they do it for validation and ego boost, not just to 'get off', even if they don't realize it's not that.

I really want to believe there are men out there who feel about their partner the way I feel about my partners, the whole way through, without doubt. However, since I've yet to find any who I feel are like this at all, I've decided to just accept it as a possibility, and try to enjoy the guy I am attracted to, and not fear the potential of cheating… if it happens, I will deal with it then. until then, I will just enjoy the moment of the relationship I believe to be currently monogamous.

when we get closer, I will stop this whole 'permission to sleep with other women' thing, too. that's born of my own lack of self respect/self-esteem and past traumas, but for now I want to forgive myself for coping with it in the way that I have, as it has helped me come to terms with and learn more. (note: not recommending this method for anyone else, though I do believe the "not fearing cheating until it happens" outlook is necessary to be happy… even if every man turned out to be programmed 110% to cheat at least once in his life, I think that's how you'd have to think about it to be happy in a hetero relationship and not live in this world of fear/disgust).

No. 542410

>>542379
When you start feeling like this, it's time to move on to another website.

Take it from an oldfag in the sense that I'm old and have gone through many online "communities".

It's always Eternal September.

No. 542411

>>542383
Ugh, this happens to me sometimes too. Glad I don't have any dating apps right now because I wouldn't want to know. It would hurt so much not only for myself but for all those women who are being betrayed.
Worst of all is because I'm an "attainable" type of woman I get the real nasty married creeps, the ones who think they're king shit but don't realize the audacity they have to think women would want to fuck them and no less help them cheat on the only woman who was willing to.

No. 542421

>>542411
>Worst of all is because I'm an "attainable" type of woman I get the real nasty married creeps

This reminds me of my gay friend showing me his Grindr messages. Every summer as soon as the weather gets nice an influx of extra horny old 'straight' married creeps pops up on the app. They think that attractive gay guys half their age must be so easily attainable and they fail to see that there's a demand for twinks so being old, fat and married doesn't exactly jump them to the top of the queue. Their poor wives.

No. 542424

My dad just hit me twice with full force. I hate this so much. He always leaves big marks and I'm afraid this time he caused permament damage because I can't move my arm at all.
I don't know what to do. I give him money because the restaurant he is running is doing really shitty rn cuz of the pandemic but he is still abusive all the time.

No. 542427

>>542424
Call an ambulance asap. If they ask, tell them the truth. They should be able to forward you to somewhere more safe.

No. 542428

>>542424
In a way marks are good, you can use them as evidence anon

No. 542429

>>542424
I am so sorry, that's fucking awful and you don't deserve that. As others said, please call an ambulance, just to make sure this fucktard didn't break anything.

No. 542430

>>542424
this sucks to hear but it's the truth: he will never truly be nice to you. he is probably unable to truly love. no buying you things once in a while doesn't count. saying something while the bruises are still there and get help asap. there's light at the end of the tunnel.

No. 542431

>>542430
>say something while the bruises are still there and get help asap

This. If you have injuries or marks use them to show people what he's putting you through. I've been there before and I kick myself for hiding the god awful bruising that would've been my ticket to getting help

No. 542436

>>542427
>>542429
Thank you for being so kind anons, but I'm in such a shitty situation that I can't even do it. I work from home rn, I have my countless work documents, laptop, etc. here, so I can't just leave it all. I can't even afford to miss one day at work, because people are constantly getting laid off. On top of that, I live in a country with one of the highest domestic violence rates in Europe. I'm stuck here until pandemic ends. I'll just go to hospital tomorrow after work to get my arm fixed I guess.

No. 542456

>>542436
How does your arm feel right now?

No. 542457

>>542410
>It's always Eternal September.
well referenced, anon.

I agree with your sentiment; sadly I've yet to find the right 'new community' to fill this particularly void, so here I linger a ghost.

To an extent, even if things could return to a perfect time-capsuled state of the early days of internet communities, I am no longer the same person of my youth and would not enjoy them in the same capacity regardless.

Part of life, no?

No. 542471

>>542436
Just a question. Is it an Eastern European country?

No. 542480

>>542457
>Part of life, no?
No. Enjoying stuff has nothing to do with age.

I'm sure you'll find a new community eventually. The Internet is huge and there are billions of us on it.

No. 542493

>>542471
nta but statistically Denmark has the highest rates of domestic violence in Europe.

No. 542495

I posted excitedly that I was keeping my job when I was so uncertain that I'd be let go due to COVID, but for some reason the replies from my friends have been backhanded and just kinda mean sounding in general. I'm not really sure how I pissed in their cheerios but apparently I did? It bothers me that I never reply with comments like that and I'm very supportive when they have good news to share, and yet that's how they react when I have good news. It's making me feel a certain kind of way.

No. 542577

>>542495

they're jealous anon, maybe some of them lost their job and hearing your good news made them mad. or it felt like bragging to them.

No. 542581

File: 1587170229230.jpeg (107.61 KB, 640x640, 33E777D0-28E8-4A1F-9FEF-41D8F3…)

I’m feeling very frustrated. I have a good job in my desired career path, making 50k a year, as a 23 yr old without a college degree (just gotta toot my own horn a little). My live-in bf of 4 years helped me get my job. As background, he is 2 yrs my junior but graduated college early and was able to make very good connections and get himself a job. We combine our salaries and are currently working toward buying a home. This stupid stimulus check is annoying me because he asked to use mine (and his) to purchase a new computer and dual monitor set up. Yes, it’s surplus money, but if he was forward-thinking he would want this money to go toward the home fund. And why does my money have to go toward something like this? When we discuss rings, he jokingly says it will be a ring pop. But genuinely I know he’s happy to slap down $2400 on a new comp setup but the thought of buying me a $2400 ring is some kind of a joke. I work, do all the chores, exclusively walk our 2 dogs, cook us every meal we don’t buy… guys, I’m just fucking sick of it. I feel like I give 99% and he just shits out 1% effort and I eat it up. Maybe I’m just some salty spinster and being squeezed into my 500 sq ft apt with this guy through COVID-19 is making me nuts but MAN WTF??????

No. 542585

>>542581
Holy shit that's a small ass apartment. But yeah, it would make me feel bad too anon you're not alone. My ex would throw down money for his geek shit constantly for himself, but would play cheap when it came to anything for me. Tbh anon I would nip that in the bud now because that behavior won't improve with time or a house.

No. 542590

>>542581
A computer is actually a functional machine while a diamond ring is just a shiny bauble.
It's your check though, so you should use it on what you want.

No. 542604

>>542581
Anon, you get what you tolerate from guys. "Jokes" about buying you a ring pop as an engagement ring? Living in a 500 square foot apartment even though you're both employed? Using your money to basically buy himself a new computer? NO.
The fact that he'd even ask you to put your money toward something like that while knowing what you want (an actual home, or even a ring) is ridiculous and disrespectful.
It seems like he wants to live a bachelor's life without being an actual bachelor, and he's taking advantage of how much you care about him. Those "jokes" about buying you a ring pop? Think about it. He's probably going to start linking you YouTube videos and articles about how marriage is a scam for men, if you don't just see them in his history every once in a while.
The fact that you're calling yourself a "spinster" (even ironically) while having a boyfriend should be a sign of how things are going emotionally, too.
There's no damn reason you should be living like this. He's not mature. This quarantine is most likely just bringing all the issues your relationship has to the surface. You're only 23, you don't need to put up with this.

No. 542605

>>542590
computers and monitors don’t last super long whereas engagement rings are a one-time expense

No. 542606

>>542581
>My live-in bf of 4 years helped me get my job
I don't see what's so good in spending over $2000 on a ring and you sound pretty ungrateful and materialistic tbh.

No. 542608

>>542606
I disagree. I give zero shits about rings , but I understand if OP is upset because it's not really about the ring; it's about the principle. Her bf seems to focus his and her expenses on investments and things that will "be useful" to him in return. He shouldn't be asking for her money when he clearly has enough of his own, and especially after saying he wouldn't spend shit on her with his own money if the thing he's buying isn't something he could benefit from himself.

No. 542609

>>542606
She's not materialistic or ungrateful, he's just a young cheapo who shouldn't be with a woman long-term right now.
He wants to play on the computer and live in a small place. He's living like he's still a college student. That's not boyfriend or marriage material, and it probably won't be for ~4 more years. If anon rewards this behavior and lets him be this way, probably not even then.
He helped her get a job, but that doesn't mean she owes him physical/emotional labor and money in exchange for a tiny-ass apartment (and what? Dick?), lmao.

No. 542611

>>542606
It’s not about the ring. Plus, he has a working computer and set up. I want marriage, a family, and a nice home. I am working toward those things and I feel that he, as my “partner”, is claiming to want these same things while not actually working toward them. Is him helping me start my career worth the 3 years I’ve done all of his laundry, cooked for him, paid every bill, etc.? A line needs to be drawn somewhere. I just feel that I’m being conned or something

No. 542612

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No. 542613

>>542606
Ungrateful how?? She ultimately got hired and kept because the employer felt she was worthy. He's asking to use HER money for $2500 pc with multi monitor setup when $1500 is just fine even for heavy duty gaming. He's fucking ungrateful and materialistic.

No. 542644

>>542581
>>542611
he's a 22 year old, it's unsurprising he hasn't seriously thought about marriage/children. If it turns out you two don't have similar views and timelines on getting married and having children, then leave ASAP and don't wait up for him to grow up. Unless you're okay with seeing how he changes (or doesn't) over the next couple of years. But please don't let the resentment build up further, he leaves you all the chores as it is.

No. 542645

>>542480
Hah, I think I meant something more along the lines of that over time your tastes generally change and you find new interests outside of your old.

But I appreciate the optimism, and I agree.

No. 542648

File: 1587185710949.jpg (155.52 KB, 933x991, Screenshot_20200417-235309.jpg)

WHY are all of the CUTE, fashionable, hardworking, well-mannered, non-mommy issues, sweet and charming men

GAY?????

AAAAA

No. 542651

Hey anons. Im sad as fucc. Idk if it's really me or in surrounded by toxic ppl but I feel like nobody likes me. The only people in my life are my cheating emotionally abusive/neglectful baby daddy. His white supremacist sexist best friend, and his new gf that just left a DV relationship. Everytime I speak I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. Im constantly told people who commit suicide are weak and deserve to die. Women should be seen and not heard. I get told I'm annoying and i deserve how people treat me and I should stop feeling sorry for myself. Any time I'm just being myself existing I get told to stop acting out for attention . I've slowly just crawled into a shell and nobody notices or even cares I guess. I have no where to go and nobody to fall back on. I really want to die feeling like the most worthless retard alive. Idk how to make my life better. I just have to exist through it until my kids aren't babies anymore.

No. 542658

>>542648
Straight women played themselves by having low standards.
>>542651
Is therapy an option for you? What about a chill local mom group? In my personal experience, being alone > being around toxic assholes. I got isolated by an ex and when we broke up I literally had no one. All it took was finding one friend online, and a copious amount of shitposting kek, I was able to keep going and start healing.

No. 542660

>>542648
Almost every male celebrity crush I have ever had has came out as gay or bi and it's just……..troubling

No. 542664

>>535754
I miss gaia online, neopets, maplestory, mokitown, habbo hotel, addicting games (Inklink especially), domo online, club penguin, guitar hero releases, Zelda nintendo and gamecube releases. I miss when all of these things were popping and all the laughs I got out of being an 8 year old troll on internet mmorpgs </3

No. 542671

>>535754
I got into a car accident in January while driving a rental SUV (I was trying to park it after only driving it once and scratched the side on the car to my rights front bumper because I didn't make a wide enough turn) there were 3 people in the car with me and one of them I barely knew and it was just so fucking embarrassing. I still haven't gotten over it and It did a number on my self esteem.

No. 542676

>>535754
>>542664
FUCCK I miss habbo hotel so much. Anyone else play icoke? that shit was rad.

No. 542686

>>541601
I swear I'm going to find all people like you and shove spines into your backs whether you want it or not

No. 542691

My bf broke something of mine which I had spent a lot of time making and didn't apologise, despite knowing how much it meant to me and seeing I was annoyed by it being broken. In every relationship I've had with a male, they never say sorry for anything, but want you to to say sorry at the drop of a hat if it's them that is feeling slighted. I've managed to fix what was broken (but it now has obvious imperfections if you look close enough), but I'm just fucked off that he hasn't even acknowledged it happening.

No. 542694

File: 1587199986222.jpeg (61.59 KB, 640x457, 6A116B73-0D4F-4CF5-8B36-9DE121…)

My ex doesn’t wash his hands after he shits. I can’t believe I let that man touch me. I now know the meme that French are filthy is fucking true.

No. 542696

I want to move back to Europe so fucking bad. I came to America 7 years ago for better opportunities but I hate it here. I can drive for 45 minutes and all I will see are flat grey strip malls, I’m tired of it. But my home country’s economy sucks and my resume is shit, I’d probably be equally as poor/jobless and depressed in Europe as I am here. Plus I know my vision of my country is totally romanticized because as a kid I didn’t have to worry about bills and I could just chew the scenery all day. But I can’t help it, I’m homesick all the time. All I’ve been doing during this quarantine is browsing apartments and looking at aesthetic European city pictures on pinterest. Not sure if this is the right thread for life advice lmao but my friends and family are all telling me different things so I’m conflicted. I need an unbiased opinion.

No. 542697

My mother is growing increasingly frustrated because she can't go to work because of the lockdown, so she lashes out at us for dumb things, then does her "nobody cares about me here" victim routine. She's always done that, if you do something (most of the time accidentally) that makes her angry, she will completely ignore you, if she needs to tell you something it will be in the most unpleasant way, and a week later, she'll hug you saying that it's normal that parents and children quarrel (when all the aggression comes from her). I'm sick of her shit, most of the time I feel like she's ignoring me or mocking me when I'm talking (sorry for being a weirdo but I can't help ot), but now I have to put up with her every hour of the day. She wonders why I never want to hang out with her, I hope she won't be surprised when nobody will come to visit them in their hick retirement town.

No. 542701

I want to move back to Europe so fucking bad. I came to America 7 years ago for better opportunities but I hate it here. I can drive for 45 minutes and all I will see are flat grey strip malls, I’m tired of it. But my home country’s economy sucks and my resume is shit, I’d probably be equally as poor/jobless and depressed in Europe as I am here. Plus I know my vision of my country is totally romanticized because as a kid I didn’t have to worry about bills and I could just chew the scenery all day. But I can’t help it, I’m homesick all the time. All I’ve been doing during this quarantine is browsing apartments and looking at aesthetic European city pictures on pinterest. Not sure if this is the right thread for life advice lmao but my friends and family are all telling me different things so I’m conflicted. I need an unbiased opinion.

No. 542702

>>542701
The US is a big place, try to look for cities that have the aesthetic you’re looking for.

No. 542707

>>542702
Not that anon but the only two cities that have even a remotely “European” look is New York (unlivable unless you come from money) or Chicago which I’ve never lived in but have heard is extremely bland and chad-ish. Honestly she would have a better go at moving to Canada to Montreal or Ontario imo to get a “European” feeling. Honestly I’m thinking of myself of abandoning this place myself after my parents die, but I have no idea where to go.

No. 542711

>>541507
I think it'll fall on deaf ears but I hate to see this so I'll reply.

I think it's a cycle. He lowers your self worth, and so you don't feel like you have the option to leave/that it's acceptable, he sees that his treatment of you is acceptable and continues to keep your self worth low by repeating those behaviours.

I think he doesn't respect you at all, and instead of working on yourself you're still looking for his respect. It won't ever happen. Once a new low is reached and you don't leave him for it, that new low is now standard and he now knows you won't leave.

I'm thinking of course you hate yourself, because your life is at a standard that you don't find acceptable, but your way of dealing with it (waiting for him to change, to respect you, to love you and treat you right) is not going to happen, and this vision breaks down when he acts like the shit he is. But it can all be happily forgotten when he's acting OK to you because you can go back to that hope.

I just want to say that you're worthy. Everyone is worthy of healthy, respectful love and it's just a case of working on yourself and making yourself believe you're worth it. If that happens, behavioural boundaries will be put in place for what you find acceptable and being able to ignore/leave the chaff (which in this case is your bf). You won't look to him to find you acceptable, instead you'll look to yourself and know what's right for you.

As someone who was in a similar case, the best advice I could give you is that in these moments, look inwards. Reduce your anxieties about your bf (who you have to accept is flawed and probably low EQ) and boost your own self esteem. Second (maybe wishful thinking on my part) is to recite and say to him "I don't like you and wish I could leave you". Make that phrase exist, and make him aware of it. No matter what happens after, what you say, he'll now know. He might leave, he might change for a little. But it could break the cycle anyway.

No. 542714

I feel like I'm actually starting to dislike the majority of men, like deeply. I used to lurk the pink pill thread religiously but I realized it's actually horrible for my mental health.

I seriously don't hate men, I have wonderful men in my life such as my brothers, boyfriend and dad. But hell have they done some shady ass shit. My dad especially.

Being in quarantine just exasperates this anger I have towards men. My dad is an alcoholic, he's constantly drinking, and though he hasn't been physically abusive to my mom in years, he still manages to treat her like shit when drunk. Like She was talking about this movie called "I feel pretty" or something but had to tell her that she wasn't multiple times. I'm stuck at the house, can't escape to my college and being stuck in the internet doesn't help these feelings. There's other shit I could say about my experiences with men but that would make this more obnoxious to read than this already is.

Love how this turned into a rant about my daddy issues. I desperately need to get back into therapy

No. 542715

>>542707
The Midwest has many cities built by German immigrates, the south shares far more in common with England and Scotland in terms of architecture and even linguistics then the rest of America

No. 542722

>>542701
I don't think you should stay somewhere you are not happy, especially if you have don't have ties to where you're currently living.I do think however you have to approach it with some pragmatism.

It's easier to just move to a different state than to completely overhaul and move back to your home country especially if there are no opportunities there.

There's plenty of places in the states with beautiful scenery, Western States are big on this. You won't find a lot of European architecture don't get me wrong, but the natural environment is beautiful.

I live in Colorado and the mountains are at most a 20-30 minute drive away. Look into Colorado (there's always a ton of European tourists in the mountain towns), look up big outdoorsy and developing cities.

No. 542723

>>542702
>>542707
>>542715
I live in Chicago now and I’ve spent a while in New York. Sorry anons but neither of those come close to the real thing. I’ll take a look at Canada but it’s not just the architecture I’m missing, it’s also the culture and the language and the fact that you can drive for 3 hours and be in a completely different country, you know? Well, either way I have a long time to think about it and do my research since the US put a hold on issuing passports anyway lol

No. 542725

>>542723
anon I'm telling you If you sticking in the big cities you will never see America's diversity, Its way more diverse then you think it is

No. 542727

>>542691
>despite knowing how much it meant to me and seeing I was annoyed by it being broken.
Did you actually tell him off or just act passive aggressively afterwards? Tell him he was wrong to be careless and even more wrong to not apologize to you. after. Communicate your needs and boundaries and don't back down because you're worried about being a bitch or nag.

No. 542730

>>542722
>>542723
Samefag but there will always be a longing for your home country. My parents are Mexican immigrants and they swear they're going to go back to their home towns. I fully believe they will but as of now there are no big opportunities there.

You can always save and go back but at least have some solid savings to cushion the transition, but don't be miserable while you're saving up.

No. 542734

>>542722
>>542725
I've lived in lots of places! I just mentioned New York and Chicago because those were the cities the other anon brought up. But I've also lived in Arizona, Texas, Colorado, Ohio, and briefly in Socal. In rural areas, suburbs, and big cities. None of them have been the right fit so far. I'm most attracted to the PNW though, I was gonna take a trip there and see if I get that feeling of home, but then the pandemic happened.

>>542730
I have a bit of savings, and I could sell my stuff and live comfortably off of that for a few months. Plus I have family overseas who might be able to help me get on my feet. Though I haven't spoken to them about this yet because I'm afraid they'll crush my dreams and tell me it's a bad idea lol. But you guys are right, I should probably be a more pragmatic. I'm not usually the type to have my head in the clouds but homesickness is a helluva drug I guess.

No. 542738

As much as I love my best friends, I’ve gotta say that they can be a bit toxic at times. They have that mindset where they’ll put down other girls by saying “wow I can’t believe she got a bf before me” or “if she can get a boyfriend why can’t I”. It really rubs me the wrong way and comes off as entitled and catty. it’s kinda annoying that they feel the need to indirectly put these girls down and it does nothing but just make them feel bad about themselves. Not only that but they constantly base their worth on the fact that they’re single. They’re always like ‘other people my age have already dated so much but I haven’t, there’s honestly no hope for me” which is so odd since we’re not even in our twenties yet. I get being insecure because I used to be like them but it can be so tiring when they get so pessimistic.

Recently I’ve gotten closer with this guy and while they want me to date him, they’ll make me feel super bad about it . When they first found out about how close I’ve gotten with him one of them was like “wow males really adore them gamer girls, I swear the minute a guy finds out they just instantly fall in love” it really just made me feel bad out myself. I honestly feel bad since I never really tell them about this kind of stuff. A few weeks ago, the other asked out this guy she’s been head over heals with and when he said he didn’t want to date she was like, “wow I wish he liked me back like XX likes you” and I really didn’t know how to respond. Whenever they make comments about it, they just make me feel so bad. This is honestly the first time I’ve actually gotten this close with someone but they act like I’ve been getting guys left and right when I’ve literally been treated like garbage so many times by guys who never gave two shits about me. I often feel like I need to cut it off with XX because of I don’t want them to constantly to stuff like that. I really wish they’d stop and or at least respect my privacy about it since I never like to talk about this kind of stuff.

No. 542742

Sometimes I wonder how things would be if the staff managed to ward off the PULLfags and every other demographic that came after it..
Well at least AG is faster and peak comfy right now.

No. 542756

>>542742
The PULLfag refugees are one of the worst demographics of this site, they're like the moralfagging twitter/tumblr snowflakes with every possible personality disorder topped with autism and obsessive skinwalking. Instead of actually laughing at the cow they're seething with envy and their posts are peppered with lowkey jealousy and not so subtle humblebragging about how much of a better person they themselves are.

No. 542763

File: 1587214173489.jpg (22.59 KB, 500x281, f333090b91b9b565f09ccdbb7ca0d1…)

I just don't know how to overcome the end of a friendship.

She used to be my best friend, but one day she just blocked me. I tried to contact her by other ways because I wanted to know what had happened, but she just kept blocking me.

This happened 1 year ago and I can't forget her, we had a lot in common, so whenever I see something I like and want to share with someone, I remember her.

We were friends for almost a decade, but in the last few years she only came to me when she needed to talk about something bad that happened in her life and often ignored my answers, but even so she was my only friend and I still miss her a lot. I feel so fucking pathetic about it, but I don't know what to do.

No. 542764

>>542734
ngl your answers so far in the thread have all pretty much shot down everyone’s suggestions (muh language muh new country when I drive 3 hours!) so just go back. you know deep down what you want to do if you keep making excuses as to why you hate it in the US and you’ll be nothing but miserable, and no one hates more than people who whine about how much their country does it better but live in another country.

No. 542765

>>542763
I had a similar falling out with my best friend since childhood anon it sucks. She unfortunately never grew up but I was the one always in the wrong and was selfish if I didn’t coddle her and listen to her problems.

You really have to treat it like a breakup. Feel the hurt, pain, and sadness of rejection and try to move on because the relationship is obviously not healthy. Wishing you luck.

No. 542768

>>542763
Plot twist: It's not you, it's her.

No. 542776

File: 1587215369249.png (994.28 KB, 1190x858, stg.png)

I can’t stand being in lockdown with my brother’s gf.
I’ve vented about her here before. She’s really passive aggressive and just plain rude. She used to only act weird and cold towards me, doing things like giving me the silent treatment, or making subtle jabs that would make me sound crazy if I tried to explain them. (We used to be so close I considered her a good friend!) She still does this to me but now she’s doing it to my mom and it makes me really angry. Throwing out her food and belongings, taking a TV my mom got as a gift and not giving it back when her cat broke my mom’s TV, turning off/on the heating when my mom has specifically told her not to, taking over the kitchen right as my mom is about to make dinner for our family so she can make food for herself and my brother.
The other day she went out to get her weed delivery, my mom asked her if she was being safe with the social distancing (both my mom and brother are immunocomprimised and high risk) she laughed it off and said “well I’m not the one going out the grocery store everyday,” referring to my dad, who had to go to the pharmacy to get prescriptions.
She doesn't pay rent, she eats my parents' food. I’ve just never met someone so abhorrently ungrateful.

No. 542778

>>542776
EW , do NOT let her treat you and your mother that way. Even if your mother says not to get into it with her, your mother is secretly probably hurt that her son and daughter aren't sticking up for her. Also your dad is out getting medicine and she's mocking that? Fuck her.

No. 542797

>>542776
>"well I’m not the one going out the grocery store everyday,”
She's an asshole but not wrong. You guys should consider delivery if you live in a developed country that offers it.

Also make them start paying rent or doing more to help out, they shouldn't be able to live rent-free while being as bratty and spoiled as they are. I use "them" because imo your brother is a piece of shit for not standing up for your mom too. I can't help but to suspect that had he made it clear to his gf that he respects his mom, that she would have a fear of disrespecting her so as to not make him upset. There's no consequence which is why she continues to do it. Tell your brother to grow a pair.

No. 542807

>>542696
Which country are you from Anon?

No. 542808

How dare you threaten me by saying you're going to go around lying and twisting my words.
Bite your tongue and choke on it.
You cherry picked one set of words from a paragraph and convinced yourself if it meant something completely different than how it was intended and then got obsessed with what you THINK it was I was trying to say. I admitted fault for making you feel that way and having a royal screw up, but I explained to you very clearly it was NEVER my intention and felt genuine shame that it even had the potential to make you feel that way.

I am not obsessed with you, maybe it feels better to think of yourself so highly, but I spend my day trying to put as much distance between this and myself as possible. I've been working on my degree and making progress on other things, like graduating and moving to Melbourne like I originally wanted to. Which by the way, I'm buying my robes and hat for next week after turning down a 170k per year job in port mac, just so you wouldn't feel I was stepping in your territory. Fuck you, by the way.
I have one credit left and they're letting it go due to the pandemic.
Yes, I have bubbles of getting upset over things, but calling me "sickly obsessed" is just for your own ego at this point.
If you genuinely think I'm obsessed and desperately pining for a guy who yelled at me when I told him I had a miscarriage, put his hands over his ears like a fucking baby and was too STUBBORN to listen to anyone else, and then proceeded to demonise me in his head because he was too weak to process anything, you're wrong. I deserved and still deserve better than your arrogance. Fuck you.

You're so hell bent on making out like I'm a piece of shit, but you won't even look at yourself or actually judge things past your own set of fucking eyes. It's actually disgusting. I don't know how you look in the mirror at this point.
Has it occurred to you that the source of the miscarriage was actually you? You fucking did that, and you couldn't even stop for a second and think about what it might have been like for you to have stressed me out so much my body did that.
You screamed at me and spun out and told me that I tried to trap you, with what? A dead baby?
I had zero expectations of you but somehow still managed to screw that up, and then you tried to twist it, then convinced yourself of that conclusion without even thinking outside of your own headspace.

Actually fuck you. You stupid 19 year old piece of shit. You have no idea how people in this world work and have the emotional intelligence of a teaspoon, then you shoved our problems on your friends to make guesses until you would zero in on something that makes you feel like you're having a bingo moment. My apartment was messy, it was fucking filthy and it was depressing to be in and I felt like I was trapped with you in there. Why do you think I just slept and said I felt sick? I was sick but it was also fucking depressing.
Do you know why that was? Pull the crayons out of your ears. You avoiding issues before you came, through all that stupid valentines day drama, affected me greatly.
I told you when you were here I was behind on my household work and that was why. I spent the few weeks before you were here getting ahead on my studies (remember talking about being in an office? Yeah, fuck you and your shallow insight.) I was already feeling miserable from pushing out huge papers between trying to give you as much time as possible and then YOU TOLD ME NOT TO CLEAN MY APARTMENT. You were so fucking naive and caught in this idea of perfection that you wanted to see cute shit but it wasn't like that, I'd been running on empty away from you trying to balance work, uni and nights with you and my apartment showed that.

The shower curtains I've been scared to remove because of my land lady being a fucking hardass. If you'd asked, you'd know I doused the shit out of them with a bunch of things and they're actually stained that way. I hate it but I also don't want to get in trouble for changing them. Shut the fuck up and respect that I am scared of a 5'2" devil of a filipina with the power to kick me out. That's how life is sometimes in the adult world.

Inconsiderate, let's see.. The washing machine? That was because I honestly was so wrapped with having you there. It wasn't an issue before, and the whole thing with the washing machine was something you were too arrogant to ever think about:
There was shit you didn't know. I organized and paid for the washing machine for my neighbor after hers broke when she moved here, I bought it because she couldn't afford it and then I buy all the laundry stuff and also GIVE HER MONEY FOR HER RENT SO SHE CAN BUY FOOD.
You have no idea what the fuck you're even talking about. You have always been so short sighted, bull-headed and refused to believe you could ever be wrong.

Now, laziness with not wanting to work or study.
I have always studied, you have just not seen it because I did it at times when you were away and sometimes did light stuff when we were just relaxing to movies and things. Sometimes when you were asleep I also worked on it. And you're lying about what I've paid for. I paid for my diploma and then my father paid THE MAJORITY, NOT ALL OF my master's degree. I spent my whole life not even using resources I was allowed to use due to not wanting to float by on daddy's credit card. I have been working solidly during studying both degrees.
How dare you sit there on your fancy computer in your parent's home and tell me I'm lazy when you haven't even ever had a utility bill your fucking name or had to clean a house when you've had 3 hours sleep, have a job and have spent all your energy working on reading medical journals when you also have a stupid boyfriend who can't even figure out how to properly function in a relationship like an actual being. I work in a cafe at McDonalds whilst studying a master's degree. Why the absolute cunt would I want to get a promotion? They. Don't. Pay. Extra. For. Crew. Trainer. I just want to do my time, earn my coin and be on my way.

You have done nothing but avoid this and run around with cotton in your ears throughout this whole thing, and I'm not an angel, I get that. But if you can honestly sit there and say I deserve this, you're absolutely fucked and I actually worry for your future partners.
You never tried to work on things. Your visit could have actually marked a point where things went up and you chose to throw the towel in because the honeymoon phase was over and your little feelings were all confused. Don't sit there and fucking bullshit me, you didn't want to work on things because you didn't want to try, you're 19 and it's too much of an effort. You wanted this to come easily because you're naive and you think it should be a cake walk and romantisize the idea of having this super adult constructive relationship where you both work and grow. But it doesn't work like that. You're just too fucking stupid to know that, because I was your first and you have to know everything. People fight, people have doubts.

Once we broke up you say I became a psycho, well you betrayed everything you ever said to me, and did everything you could to twist the knife. If you want to point the finger, fine. But let me ask you one thing, can you name a single promise you actually ever kept? Think on that one. Really think about that, even when we were in our good phase, you didn't.
You actually broke every single promise or backed out of them last minute. You heartless reptile. You broke me over and over again.
You won't listen to anyone unless their opinion fits to what you want and are too immature to understand that our stories meet somewhere in the middle.
I hope this gave you the slap you genuinely fucking need, but I doubt it. Because you're too stubborn and you think you're right and you're absolutely livid.

In short:
Fuck you, you 19 year old piece of shit. You're two years into a bachelors, I'm studying a master's degree. You work from your parents home and I'm 26 fucking years old and have my own place. You stupid, self-absorbed little prick. I hope the world chews you up and spits you out like the bad taste you really are.

No. 542812

I wish I would just get Coronavirus and die already. I work at a grocery store and every day get treated like worthless scum, a means to the end for people to get their fucking unnecessary bullshit just so they can leave the house. People look at me like I’m an incompetent sewer rat, just because I work at a grocery store doesn’t mean I’m a daft imbecile. Im in college but need money since my dad is dead and my mom is disabled. Then I get home from work at get screamed at by my mom who refuses to leave the house that I’m a “germ monster” and to stay away from her at all times, but then the second she needs fast food I have to be the one to go get it. Oh and she always needs to borrow my car to go buy drugs or hang out with her friends, but at all other times she’s hiding in her room and doesn’t even allow me in her room to talk to her. She just sits and watches the news and Facebook literally the entire day. I’m so sick of being alive, I genuinely truly hope I get Coronavirus and die. There’s already 10 cases at my store and I’m a cashier, I’m so tired of waiting to get it. I just want it to hit me and kill me already. I could never commit suicide because everybody would feel guilt about it, but this is perfect timing. I hope my viral load is high enough due to my constant exposure to be extra deadly.

No. 542813

>>542776
Always find it so strange when parents let bfs or gfs just move in rent free like that. I mean my dad 'gently nudged' all his own kids to get moving out at 18/19. Staying as an adult and just moving in your partners is nuts. If you want to have an adult relationship living together go rent somewhere.

No. 542817

>>542813
>how to tell a poster is from the US

No. 542820

>>542808
Holy fucking shit, Port Mac is my hometown and I'd NEVER thought I'd see someone posting about it. KEK

No. 542821

>>542817
You mean me or the anon living with family?

No. 542833

>>542820
I'm so fucking done. I had a great job lined up there as a director of nursing for the state hospital, huge benefits and was even looking at an apartment for him to fucking stay with me so he could taste independence.

It's fucked.

No. 542837

>>542820
Like I live up in Far North QLD and was doing this all for this dumb little cunt. Plus buying a house in Melbourne for after he graduated. And he has the gaw to say I'm lazy.

No. 542842

File: 1587225334145.jpg (115.52 KB, 819x1024, ET7EDYAWkAEAIpr.jpg)

quarantine has been making me feel like shit about my looks and i can't tell if i'm just plain ugly or have body dysmorphia. i've been called pretty and gorgeous and etc by others but every girl hears that from someone. i'm thinking about becoming a twitch streamer just to reel in compliments and simps so i can feel better about myself.

No. 542844

>>542842
first of all, pic you posted looks like a trap and or photoshopped. this is the shit thats making u feel bad about urself? you have issues.

No. 542846

>>542842
Pic attached has photoshopped her jaw poorly and asymmetrically. No one's face looks like that. Can't you spot photoshop yourself? The issue is that you're buying into digitally altered images and believing they are real.

I'm not saying you should assume every pretty girl is edited, but you need to train your eye. And log off Instagram for good, noting there is real.

No. 542850

>>542842
this bitch again

No. 542853

>>542842
I hope you are larping

No. 542856

>>542842
OT but it bothers me how much this chick uses blush. She piles it on like a middle schooler rummaging through her mom's makeup bag.

No. 542860

I'm in a group with this other girl for my history presentation and we both need to read this one book that's over a Jewish woman who escaped the holocaust by getting forcibly married to a Nazi officer who then raped her and turned her life into hell. My dumb fucking partner kept insisting that it's a romance book because "he saved her from the holocaust and he did that because he loved her uwu" and it annoys me SO MUCH because she simply won't listen that the poor woman didn't want to marry him, she kept telling him she's Jewish and doesn't want him but he silenced her because he thought she's beautiful and "worthy of bearing his children". I already asked the teacher if I can do it alone or change partners because I refuse to work with someone as retarded as this who is acting like the book is another one of her dumb k-dramas. Imagine romanticizing a book a woman wrote to express all those years of pain she's been through. You genuinely need to be stupid to think that's the slightest bit uwu romantic uwu.

No. 542861

File: 1587228369122.jpg (452.48 KB, 1801x1080, City-of-Solvang-CA-Danish-Vill…)

>>542701
Solvang, California

No. 542863

>>542860
We need a term for these kind of people, like cumbrain

No. 542864

>>542860
I hear you but this site is for adults.

No. 542865

>>542864
Lmfao, what genuinely made you think I am not an adult? If it's the terms like "presentation" and "teacher" I've used that made you think I am not over 18, then I should've clarified that I am from Europe and we don't use terms like professor at my school.

No. 542868

>>542860
Do you mind telling me the name of the book? Sounds like an interesting read

No. 542871

>>542868
The Nazi officer's wife by Edith Hahn-Beer!

No. 542897

>>542808
lol you're 26 and tried dating a barely legal 19 year old

No. 542900

Ever regret shitposting autistic things irl? Me now. Sorry for everyone I knew.


Also I regret shitposting online with people in their dms and that I've wasted a lot of time with it. And even just saying retarded stuff to release tensions for attentions.

Phew that got out of my chest. I will never do it as excessively ever again. I outgrew it and knew I was just lonely. For both the shitty things I've done irl and online. I was a selfhating human bean.

Ok fuck off stop reading. Don't reply to my cringy post either.

No. 542915

>>542900
I regret posting anything, I use the internet to waste time and I dont consider my internet audience friends.
Just do something else as a time waster

No. 542916

>>542846
i recently noticed that every girl that i envy either shops themselves or has gotten work done, so thank you anon. i just got accepted for a really nice job which i'm starting next thursday, so hopefully work will help me get out of this weird insecure phase i've been having (probably due to staying inside all the time)

No. 542918

>>542764
I made it pretty clear since the first post that I hate it here and my dream is to move back. It’s not really “deep down” and I’m not making excuses, just explaining my situation. I haven’t shot down anything though… I literally said anons here are right and I need to level my expectations. I will probably check out the Oregon-Washington area before I make any hasty decisions and another person suggested an adorable town in California I’ve never heard of before. Also I don’t go around irl talking about how much I hate America kek, those type of complaints get nationalists heated enough to start fights.

>>542807
I’m from Hungary, but my overseas family lives closer to Vienna. Unfortunately I don’t speak German.

No. 542919

>>542915
I also regret most of the things I post. I had a Facebook before and would cyclically shitpost on my wall and comment dumb stuffs. Even now on the
few Discord channels I post on, often I wish I wouldn't say it because it's pointless, and sometime delete it a few second after the message is online. I cancelled an account registration on a forum I wanted to post on for this reason too, just pointless.

>>542900
Take care, here is a (you) before I remove this shit too

No. 542927

>>542664
bc of quarantine i'm sure there's more traffic then usual, take a minute and check them out! might be interesting to see how they've changed (unless you want to leave your nostalgia intact, then don't).

No. 542944

File: 1587244405960.jpg (5.92 KB, 130x200, my-melody-4113.jpg)

why do I want to back in time so badly?

my teen years were shit and I spent most of them angry, self harming and suicidal developing a minor alcohol addiction topped off with a shitty home life. isolating myself never making an effort to make friends at school was my way of protecting myself even when others did reach out to me. I just clung onto a couple of people and met people through them as some kind of security blanket because I was a huge loser in school, stereotypical lunch-in-the-bathroom bitch because why would my friends have the same lunch as me lol.

since starting my job when I was 20, I improved my socializing skills and stopped sad drinking, made a small circle of genuine friends, go out more, work out and I have a boyfriend i've been with for almost a year now. i'm a lot happier now than I was in high school and anything i've learned and done up until this point is a huge improvement for me.

now with everyone being in self isolation, i'm constantly alone with my thoughts and overthinking my teen years pops up a lot. I regret wasting the easiest time of my life and some of the things that make me feel normal now like having a social life or going out to explore, I can't do right now so I feel like shit all over again. to try and cheer myself up i'll watch room decorating videos or journalling videos to maybe get some surge of inspiration to do something productive and to watch something cute and cozy. I get a little envious of some of these girls who made a platform for themselves at a really young age and are basically living their best lives like they should be. it sounds so pathetic to be jealous of a teenage girl or one in her early 20's but I just want my ~youth~ back. I want a do-over. for a 17 year old girl it's socially acceptable to be silly with your friends or SO in public, these girls have great relationships with their parents, they're decorating their rooms with polaroid pictures of all their friends and making some of the best memories of their lives. my teen years were especially depressing because it really opened my eyes how my dad was a cheating, verbally abusive alcoholic and i'd be woken up to him yelling at my mom and not letting anyone sleep when I had school the next day, then having to listen to my parents bitch about each other and be in a house with horrible tension because after a big blowout they wouldn't speak for weeks and school wasn't an escape for me either. I could have given less of a fuck about keeping a cute room and decorating it when I was cutting myself and getting drunk. I had very little friends to be silly with and I guess I just want the better life I have now, but 10 years ago. I want to be ~popular~ and cute, I want to film myself having fun and being silly but it's just kind of weird to be doing it when you're in your late 20s. knowing i'm gonna be dwelling on how I didn't make the most of my 20's gives me such horrible anxiety it's just a cycle. also I wish I was popular and had a big platform that I started at a younger age lol but I have such a shy awkward personality and nothing i'm passionate about that someone else doesn't already do better that I don't think I could keep anyone's attention. when I was in highschool facebook and early twitter were the big thing and now these kids have insta, youtube, tiktok, twitter I feel like such a fucking old head past her prime

No. 542947

>>542944
Shit happens. You are who you are and because of that you can offer a unique perspective on life a lot others don't have. I get that that's not what you want nor is it fair but life ain't so instead of wishing it had been different you should focus more on what you can draw from it

No. 542948

>>542944
anon you are still young, you're in your 20's and you have still have 60% of your life ahead of you, I wasted my teen years and I can't change that but without those experiences I wouldn't be the person I am today

No. 542955

I’m sick of every think piece/news article/government statement and don’t want to hear the phrase ‘this is our new normal’ etc ever again

No. 542956

>>542944
Same. Life is just fucking unfair… All we see in media is people who have it the best, actual mind poison. Maybe try to remember that there are also huge numbers of kids who are actively going to through the same bullshit you did, depressed and invisible. They too will grow older and feel the same way you do, sadly. Life just be like that, happiness and suffering inequally distributed, some of us will shoulder most of one or another.

No. 542958

My hands are physically disabled (kinda look like half-open fists) and holding a phone finally crossed the line between "annoying" into "downright hurts to do". It sounds dumb but I wish my phone had a big teapot handle on either side.

I'm just annoyed that reading lolcow on my phone is physically too painful, even when I lean the weight of my phone onto something. It's the act of gripping the phone.

REEEEEEEEEEE

No. 542960

I got hired as a cashier at Wal-Mart and its fucking crazy and tiring. Not only that but I feel bad because I'm bad at it. Glad this is only temporary

No. 542961

>>542701
Look into certain cities in the northeast. New York's the most obvious but also Boston, Philadelphia, and Providence. They don't look exactly like any European city but they're more walkable than a lot of other cities and the American architecture there is a lot nicer than suburban strip malls.

No. 542964

>>542958
Wish i could just superglue or tape you some handle thing on your case anon, why arent there any cases like that thats bs

No. 542965

I hate how men call women shallow and try to guilt them into being attracted to manlets. It's basically the only physical standard they have and they can't even deal with that

No. 542967

>>542961
i'd go for philly if i were anon. boston is too damn expensive and providence is trash.

No. 542979

My girlfriend is absolutely unbelievable.

I don't know why I do this to myself, why I am still together with her despite all the things she puts me through and all the things she's done to me. I guess I am scared of being lonely again, because this relationship is the one I've longed for so many years. I remember crying at night from how lonely I felt and how much I was dying to talk to someone and have someone appreciate me and love me, and now that I have this relationship and I've been with her for two years I should be grateful, but it just drains the energy out of me. And the worst part is that I cannot bring myself to leave or break up with her. We already had an incident in the past where we broke up and three weeks later we came back together. Those three weeks were kinda weird for me, because I was stuck between missing her and being glad that I left her. I'd feel relived for leaving her but then five minutes later think about how stupid I am for even doing that. We obviously came back together and now I ask myself if things would be way different now if I didn't message her back then.

The things she does are so fucking unpredictable. Sure, she is a fun person and besides all the bad stuff we get along very well and I can tell that she holds some sort of affection and love for me as well, but sometimes I cannot help but question it.

She completely fucked up my trust issues, "emotionally" cheated on me twice, had so many incidents where she would let people flirt with her but never said anything back to them because "she is too nice and doesn't want them to hate her", would make me feel like the biggest idiot ever for feeling jealous when I had every right to, started arguments over the tiniest things and so on. She admitted herself that she's manipulative as hell and that it's a toxic traits of hers, but me the retard is absolutely oblivious to it sometimes, because I genuinely cannot tell if she's doing it or not.
When she's the one who's the victim, she will go great lengths to write one paragraph after another to me, trying to demonize me and make me look like the worst person to ever exist, has a "private spam" where she most likely talks shit about me BUT when she's the one who's in the wrong and I am the victim, she will suddenly turn "uwu mode" and all her perfect grammar suddenly turns into some typo mess and suddenly she's messaging me "jm sorryk for everyhtn i ahve done" despite me telling her so. many. fucking. times. that writing like that does nothing but annoy me even more, because I know what the fuck she is trying to do. She is trying to soften my anger towards her with her dumb fucking crytyping but it doesn't work. I know that trick very well and I do not let her affect me with it. Instead of softening my anger, it just makes me even more angrier.

There was even one fucking time where she called me a genuine racist, because my edgy ass thought iDubbz and Joji are funny despite their dark humor, which was 2 years ago. She was like "oh you enjoy their videos it obviously means you relate to their racist humor and do you remember that one time you called me, a hispanic, poor which means you think all hispanics are poor which is racist on its own". That one time I called her poor was in a joking manner and she also called me poor. She knew that too, but literally took it out of context to make me look like this huuuuuge racist piece of shit and last time I playfully brought it up to her, she was like "I don't remember that happening!11!1" like sure you don't.

I am kinda sure that she takes advantage of my memory loss too. There are so many times where I don't remember certain arguments we had or shit I told her, but she will literally bring it up during a fight and no matter how many times I tell her no, I seriously didn't say anything like that because I do not use words like that or carry myself like that, she just keeps on insisting that it's true.

Besides all of this shit, she's so incredibly fucking sensitive too. Will say shit like "your parents don't love you" in a "joking" way despite knowing I come from an extremely abusive home and telling her several times to please stop saying that, and when I get upset then she will hit me up with the "i am sorkky i saidj ttat…". I was telling her about my CSA story once, in fucking tears, and she proceeded to crack jokes and I got even more upset because talking about that memory is already upsetting enough.
She always reads my tone wrong, thinks I am being passive aggressive or defensive when I am literally being calm and neutral. Thinks I am attacking or insulting her when I am just being normal. She expects me to baby her 24/7 too. There was a time where she would get incredibly upset that I wasn't calling her cringy petnames (pup) and thinks she's being so overly cute when she's acting like some wanna be baby uwu small little broken baby doll uwu nympho angel uwu. Has a fake eating disorder she just won't let go, never told me that she fainted from it but then during an argument she suddenly started claiming that "I did not care after her telling me she fainted from it" which is absolute fucking bullshit. If she did, I would know it, because I might have memory problems but these are big details that I cannot forget. I also cannot fucking forget the time I told her about my self harm problem and then a few days later she suddenly told me she tried it out too and that "it hurts but it feels so good" despite me telling her how I've been cutting myself ever since I was 12 and that at this point I am genuinely addicted to it and need help.

She will constantly gatekeep education aka you think you have it bad at school? No! You should see her! She is just soooooooo stressed with all her exams and homeworks, the things you are going through are absolutely nothing! You should see her! Wahh!

I am also someone who needs to distance herself for a few days, mostly like 2-3 days, because people tend to overwhelm me a lot and make me feel suffocated, and she knows that too. I've explained it to her and she was all nice about it. And when I do that, when I fucking distance myself, she will throw the biggest fucking fit ever and act like I always leave her when she needed me the most, will act like some clingy spoiled brat who has the worst girlfriend ever. I've told her this numerous times and she always acts like she supports me and understands, but when it ends up happening she's suddenly the BIGGEST victim ever and I'm the worst person. Speaking of her demonizing me, she used to talk so bad about me to her friends and on her private spam so much, she even told me how people used to seriously BEG her to please leave me and how "abusive" I am towards her when it's not even fucking true. She has the biggest victim complex ever. It was also during those times where she cheated on me, would ignore me to talk to this one person, would even think about breaking up with me while I was here, trying to deal with my own problems.

During the time we broke up, she told me that she already "whored" herself out on too many guys aka would talk to them in a NSFW way and "crave for affection to deal with her sadness" while my ass was out there, crying and not knowing what to do and blaming myself for breaking up with her. How the fuck can you even talk with so many people immediately all flirty after you broke up with the person you claim to have "loved so much and will never forget"? Her excuse was that "she felt lonely and tried to cope with the pain" and I just don't fucking believe it.

I just can't. I seriously cannot do this anymore. I want to leave, but at the same time I don't. I should feel bad for talking about her in a negative manner, but I don't. Not after I think about all the things she's put me through and will continue doing to me. Right now we are even fighting. Got mad at me for distancing myself for 2 days and instead of carrying the conversation like normal, she is being passive aggressive and ruined everything and then hit me up with the infamous "jm sorr.y…,,".
Is this the fucking relationship I've longed for so many years? I feel absolutely pathetic and like an embarrassment because I don't know what to do anymore. If I leave, I will be so unbelievably lonely again and I am so used to talking to her every day it's become a part of my daily routine, but when we argue and she gets like this, I just don't even want to try anymore. She tires me out so much.

No. 542981

>>542944
Interesting, but I've had the same thoughts since isolation started. I'm 26 and I keep coming back to my highschool memories, trying to find something good in them. It's weird, because until now, I had them - not stashed away, but like, they are a thing of past, never bothered me. Everything that happened to me after school is much more interesting, yet I keep thinking that I wish to go back, I wish live another life and be a different person. And I thought that all this time I was comfortable with myself. What the fuck.

No. 542986

>>542979
You cannot break up because you are co-dependant. Read about co-dependency and heal yourself. She is immature and you have nothing to gain from this relationship. Don't torture yourself, anon, it's not worth it.

No. 542998

>>542979
she's not your girlfriend this is just a standard e-relationship. are you even old enough to post here because this is some underage twitter shit

No. 543002

>>542998
>are you even old enough to post here because this is some underage twitter shit
Yup, you caught me. I am actually 12 years old and I met my girlfriend on Habbo Hotel.
You people always gotta accuse everyone and everything to be some underage faggot as soon as whatever you're reading doesn't fit in your "ideal adult post". I understand that this place has been swarming with underage newfags lately, but c'mon.

Also good for you if you think this is a standard e-relationship.
We have met before IRL numerous of times and she just lives three hours away from me.

>>542986
I just googled it and honestly, after reading some points it just struck a nerve in me.
I seriously don't know what to do yet. But thank you a lot, I appreciate it.

No. 543005

>>543002
Mostly just because I've been around on twitter in my early 20s and seen relationships and drama like the one you have more times than I can count. It's eerily similiar right down to the self-harm stuff lol. Tragic that you guys have actually met and she still cry types and talks shit about you on a secret account or whatever. Anyways just break up with her you'll get used to not talking to her every day after 2-3 weeks. Make sure not to check up on her either. Just block her everywhere. You'll feel much better in the long run.

No. 543010

>>543002
Remember that if you try to read about it further and something like this cringes you so hard that you want to close the page and forget about it - it is something that you have to accept and work on. It probably came from childhood. Go to a psychologist and work on it, it's a lifetime investment. Relationship should not equal suffering.

No. 543025

>>542964
I've tried a few different cases and things to hold onto the back, but it has to be seriously retard-proof because of how often I drop the damn thing. Hahaha, I'm sure they have something out there, it's just a matter of finding it! Or maybe just a matter of patience if it doesn't exist yet

No. 543030

>>542979

Imagine having any type of relationship with a BPD… We accept the love we think we deserve, and you deserve better. You can hit me up if it's too lonely, I put my email.

No. 543031

My best friend and next door neighbor killed himself around 3 months ago. He was 18 and hung himself off of the railing leading downstairs to his house. I keep having visions of him coming out in the body bag like I saw the day it happened. The weekend before he told me he was quitting coke and he said he felt great and I happy-cried and held him. He had a heart attack previously before this all happened. That night, the morning he died I heard him shouting for me to my window but I ignored him. I was getting ready for bed and I figured I could talk to him in the morning. He often called up to me when he was drunk. I wish I did something different but that morning I woke up to police cars outside his house and learned that he was dead. Now his friend who sold him coke Is blaming my friends addiction on me (??) I was friends with him for years and his coke dealer was allowed to be a pallbearer at his funeral and I’m not even allowed to pet his dog when said dog walks by. I hate this.

No. 543033

>>543030
>muh bpd
I hope for anon's sake she doesn't write you.

No. 543037

>>543033
take your meds bpd chan

No. 543039

>>543037
You sound like a very compassionate person who should absolutely be a person of comfort to someone who seems to be fearful of abandonment, self harms and has co-dependency issues. The fact that this is going over your head…..

No. 543056

I cant even walk my dog in my neighborhood now because there are so many people fucking around outside and I can't keep a safe distance. I'm pretty sure people are driving to my neighborhood, just to walk around, because there's no way this many people live here. People are just putting lawn chairs like on the sidewalk and in the streets and talking to each other??? Like you all have lawns… why do you need to block the sidewalk. And sooo many dogs who have apparently not ever been outside or been socialized before. I just want to be able to walk my dog without having to dodge a ton of people or come across aggressive dogs! It just totally defeats the purpose of social distancing when people are in this close of proximity even if it's outside

No. 543064

>>543031
Not saying this is your fault and I'm sorry for your loss, but did you ever try to help him with the drug addiction or enabled it?

No. 543075

>>542979
Anon please for the love of god, leave her awful ass. You don't deserve that shit, you're already seemingly unwell and she sounds like a manipulative cunt. I swear to god, everything will feel so much easier and lighter once you've free of her and maybe you can get real help for your other issues? All the best for you!!

No. 543076

I've been on klonopin for a few months now. I was on xanax before. I'm reacting to it exactly how I reacted to xanax before: the first weeks/months were great and then later on I can't function and want to commit suicide. Is this normal because I'm legit thinking about killing myself.

No. 543080

I miss drinking. I wasn't an alcoholic but on quetiapine, lamictal and Prozac. I tried drinking and it just made me really tired and sick. I have been sober for 4 months. Overall I'm good, I just wish I could drink but all the meds make the experience terrible.

No. 543091

>>543076
It's normal - kpin and xanax are not supposed a long term solution though, their usage in regards to you should have been a few weeks or 'taken only as needed' kinda deal. Anti-depressants do have the side effect of suicidal thoughts and feelings sometimes, it sucks absolute dick but you just have to keep trying them out until you land on something that works for you if you feel you need that assistance. Long ass process though. I wish you the best

No. 543120

My friend told me she's getting a puppy but it just made me feel like shit because my dog just died and I'm angry that she had to talk about and be excited about it while I'm sitting here lonely and crying every day because I miss mine so much and I don't know if I'll ever get one again. She knows I lost my dog but I wish she hadn't said anything to me, I know she's happy because it's her first pet but I wish she had been more mindful of me. This sucks.

No. 543136

File: 1587274321355.jpg (31.59 KB, 650x540, vatz3ueqijg41.jpg)

>>543120
My condolences for your loss, anon.

No. 543138

LOCKING IMMINENT

Thread has exceeded 1200 posts and is about to be locked! Please create a new thread and post a link to it.

No. 543153

>>543076
Seconding the anon. Xanax and kpin are NOT long term drugs, and should be used on the extreme occasion you are having a bad time. They are very addictive, and the withdrawal can be deadly if not done appropriate.

Please be careful anon, and seek out a therapist if you can. There are a lot of therapists that will offer services on a slide scale / free.

It took me from the age of 14 to age 21 to finally find the right medication (though I wasn’t diligent enough), but it can be done. I

No. 543191

New thread
>>>/ot/543190

No. 543192

>>543064
I used to tell him if he kept going at the drugs like he did, he would die. There was only so much I could do for him but I refused to do any sort of drug with him or let him so drugs around me. I was happy to learn he was quitting coke just a few days prior, little did I know he was probably planning to do what he did. Probably why he seemed so happy and at peace in the days leading up

No. 543489

File: 1587348633253.jpg (82.01 KB, 1024x576, opX1Cdn.jpg)

>>542842
>Neekolul
lol

No. 543676

>>542707
What about New Orleans, any of the places with posh boarding schools on the East Coast, etc…

No. 546753

>>535754
I feel really bad because I work an essential grocery job where I have to come in at 1 am and leave at 9. my bf works 8-4 and i have to sleep by 5 so im not a zombie at work. we barely have time to talk during the week because im so dead tired and want to sleep. I can tell it kind of annoys him and I wish I could do something about it but I really can't change my job hours



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