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No. 535754
Vent your heart out, ladies!
Previous one:
>>>/ot/523788 No. 535929
>>535925I think I know what you mean, people are letting fear mongering get to them and are acting like they're going through something unbearable when the majority of them are students watching netflix at home and that's it. This said - at some places, some hospitals, it's already very very hard. About these we hear on the media, not about the ones that are still a bit chill. Medical staff on the front lines in the COVID wards are often volunteering, not minding the general fear, and deserve recognition because usually it is a hard job. Just accept the gifts, it's not mean-spirited and actually really nice.
I'm very happy for your mom to still have a relatively chill time at the hospital. My mom is a nurse (in a COVID ward) and so far it's okay too. I hope it stays this way.
No. 535944
>>535929>Just accept the gifts, it's not mean-spirited and actually really nice. Oh yeah my mom definitely accepted and enjoys the flowers! Sorry if my post came across as really ungratefull, it's not that at all. I just can't shake this feeling that it's a bit weird.
>people are letting fear mongering get to them and are acting like they're going through something unbearable when the majority of them are students watching netflix at home and that's it.I think this is exactly what bothers me about it
>>535931>At least they're sending actual physical sentiments that show a level of effort to care, as opposed to only virtue signaling on social media.You're right, that's definitely true. I hadn't thought about that.
No. 535972
I don’t know how to deal with this. I love my boyfriend, I truly do. But sometimes he does things that deceive me so much I start to think I’m not in love with him.
He’s someone who’s always calm and quiet but when something pisses him off he tends to get REALLY mad. And I try to make him feel better just being there for him, if he doesn’t want me to speak, I don’t, f he doesn’t need encouraging words I understand it but he always, always finds a way to get angry with me too.
Right now his work called to tell him he won’t be working for them anymore (which is understandable) and he got upset (I think it’s normal after all). The thing is I remained silent just to let him calm down and all I asked was what he wanted for dinner and then he started calling me all those horrible things, telling me I’m always there to make him feel even more shittier, that I’m the worst and that I should let him at all for once and…I don’t know.
Tomorrow he’ll be all lovely and nice as usual and I will be remembering how much those words hurt because even after all these years he has the power to make me feel like I’m wrong, always, no matter what.
And I get that everyone’s different and he doesn’t think these things he said but I always wonder why I have to feel this way when all I tried was my best.
I never judge him, even when I can. I always try to choose the right words to make things better and even then it’s not enough, I feel like I’m never enough and I’m tired because I love him even when he doesn’t deserve it sometimes.
No. 535984
>>535972He takes his anger out on you because he knows he can get away with it.
Men will always, always treat you the way they think you deserve to be treated.
If you marry him, expect that to be a confirmation that he not only can continue this behavior, but likely amplify it.
No. 535992
>>535972This piece of shit is using you as his emotional punching bag. You shouldn't feel like you have to walk on eggshells to placate your boyfriend, anon.
My first thought is to break up. Even if he doesn't get mad often, he'll be like this in serious times when you both need to be calm. Do you want to build a life with someone like that? He either doesn't give a shit about your feelings to control his anger, or is too stupid to understand how much he's hurting you. If you don't want to break up, talk to him when he's calm about dealing with his anger issues. If he denies it's an issue, or doesn't understand how important it is to fix then please leave him.
No. 536010
>>535972This is exactly how my dad is and it’s just not worth it anon. It’s an
abusive cycle that’ll just land you in a terrible marriage like my parents.
No. 536022
>>536014It's depressing isn't it.
Why is that detail even necessary for the reader, if you are in a relationship with someone can we not assume you love them?
At this point, all it seems like to me is farmers trying to protect their own ego and diffuse the major cognitive dissonance they're about to get (my partner does X which is
abusive/awful/stressful = bad, but I love him = good).
No. 536042
>>535991God Greyhound is shit, although how I got a vouchers was through @ them on twitter, I got a response almost immediately. Although my voucher will only last for a year, and Covid-19 will probably make them expire.
my problem happened in December though, so maybe things are different now.
No. 536058
>>535972>>535984>If you marry him, expect that to be a confirmation that he not only can continue this behavior, but likely amplify it.this this this. I've seen it with my own parents and my own sick mind of a father. I hope that if you take any advice from what was said here, you'll remember this. Please don't get trapped in an emotional
abusive relationship anon.
No. 536094
I'm the anon from
>>>/ot/506243 and lol, she ended up cheating on me guys. It was not physical (thankfully) but she sexted with him for a long time and told me that he would write so many paragraphs, insulting me and telling her to break up with me for no actual reason, and she even said that she considered doing that and would sometimes even ignore my messages and talk to him instead. She actually fucking did that. I found out a few hours ago and I still haven't recovered from the shock and anger and I am trying so hard not to cry from the betrayal right now. I knew my instincts were right and that there was something going on behind my back as soon as I saw all the things she used to do with him and how she acted so lovey dovey, but I didn't want to believe it and kept telling myself I am just being unnecessarily jealous and just kept going and tried my best to make her happy. I feel like the biggest fucking clown ever. I am literally such an idiot, I let her take advantage of me and my kindness.
She basically told me everything today after they had a falling out and stopped being friends a few days ago and she was like "Did he groom me? I felt like I got groomed by him." like wow, this is about you now? Everything you did and it's still about you? Fuck you.
No. 536099
>>536096you're not at fault for that, anon
the way he's acting is just straight up disgusting and disrespectful towards you, why are you even doing this to yourself? you go and take your sweet time losing weight, you shouldn't feel like you gotta appease some faggo who's into uwu girls when he cannot even treat you,
his girlfriend, right
No. 536100
File: 1585948059449.gif (863.16 KB, 500x280, pigeon man.gif)
How do I move on from someone? It's been half a year now since I decided to leave him as I wasn't happy in the relationship - it was like I was constantly looking for validation from him, waiting for some sort of sign that he cared but it was like this wasn't going anywhere. I've been trying to put myself out there again, even found a few guys I got along well with, but everything eventually backfired. I feel so fucking unwanted and unloved - like I'm just meant to be alone. I don't know what to do. I don't have a will to do much anymore besides mope around the house and cry over why things couldn't be different. I wasn't happy with my ex, but I miss him still. I know this isn't the advice thread but any sort of input would be very much appreciated.
No. 536143
>>536100Hi anon, it sucks to hear you're in a lonely place right now. I've been there myself after ending my first ever relationship and reflecting on this piece of advice helped me so much: a relationship is meant to add to your life, not complete it.
You must be happy with yourself to be happy in a relationship, or else you'll likely fall into the same pattern of seeking validation from your future partner and feeling disappointed when it doesn't make you feel fulfilled. The best thing you can do for yourself now is to focus on only you and your life: what are your career goals? What are some skills you want to learn? What hobbies could you explore? Try starting a diary and jotting down your every day thoughts, if you're into video games, try playing a single player game or replaying some of your favourite. Are there any books you'd like to read? Doing things like this will help you to focus on yourself, which is all that matters. The reality is you'll find someone else in your life time, probably a fair few somebody-else's. What will make it different is if you've made personal development so that you don't
need a relationship to feel valued, and that you don't feel unloved when being single. This is the golden time to develop personal traits you admire in others, in yourself anon!
No. 536150
File: 1585954001962.jpg (51.94 KB, 600x450, weeb.jpg)
Being stuck in the house is making me regress back into teenage weeb legbearddom.
No. 536152
File: 1585954208984.png (484.47 KB, 1253x1280, 1585869952480.png)
>>536150you aren't alone. I've been watching anime and drinking box wine. It's not all terrible I guess…..
No. 536161
>>536159all the shit he said got deleted anyway but there are still some of the posts of anons replying to him
idek if you're aware but he was trying sooo hard to make himself look like the biggest
victim ever uwu
>>>/ot/520875 No. 536163
File: 1585956680103.jpg (25.18 KB, 571x390, IMG_20180917_113223.jpg)
>>536156This reminds me of a post I read a long time ago on c.c of a black girl who was dating an indian robot with racist parents who threw a fit in public, broke his own phone, and then blamed it on her. I hope you're not actually her and she didn't marry him after that because that would make this post even sadder.
No. 536186
>>536156why do you both keep coming on lc to rant about each other like little kids and not fix it irl by visiting a marriage counselor or some shit because it's very clear that you both are not meant to be
cannot wait for your man to come here and try to explain himself again after this
No. 536199
>>536191This. He's verbally
abusive and she cheated on him. There's nothing there for them.
No. 536208
File: 1585962342230.gif (772.82 KB, 260x221, 1495307351374.gif)
>Bf goes on paid leave so he now has a ton of time on his hands
>mfw he's now jerking it three times a day and started watching porn again
You'd think dying in Blood borne would keep that dingus busy enough
No. 536213
>>536208cut his pp
no pp for him
No. 536215
File: 1585963113426.jpg (19.63 KB, 500x376, 549381_824391697644744_3383307…)
>>536208tfw no boyfriend during quarantine
No. 536217
File: 1585963186616.jpg (96.43 KB, 1200x675, 1562528557697.jpg)
>>536210>implying im not gonna do anything about itkek
>>536213LMAO
I think im just gonna cut him off entirely
Wish me luck y'all
No. 536222
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>>536217Bitch you are community role model
No. 536313
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I have a perfect boyfriend who is caring and supportive and sweet and good looking and good in bed and he even has money and comes from a good family why am I not happy
It's not that I don't love him but he doesn't make me happy and every time he is sweet to me and caring I only feel worse and I don't know why
No. 536316
>>536313girl, do you care for HIM or what he does for you? not to say you're shallow, but you listed what he brings to the table. he may be or sound great, but may not be the man for you. and that's okay, you can't force yourself to be in love with someone. he might also be shitty in subtle ways or just not compatible with you.
did you always have this guilt and dissatisfaction while dating him?
if not, it might stem from some other source of dissatisfaction in your life. maybe you're moving past the honeymoon stage, and the nature of your relationship is shifting? or you're depressed, feel insecure about yourself, etc. idk. i'm just throwing shit out there. i want my fellow farmers to be happy!
No. 536333
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I hate it when my male friends get girlfriends. Not because I get jealous or possessive, but because the girlfriends always turn super bitchy against me who's the only single woman in our mixed sex friend group. They're cordial towards the girls who are in a relationship, but always stare daggers at me, give me the coldest shoulder and clearly tell their boyfriends to distance themselves from me because it always happens. Like girl what the fuck I'm a haggard lesbian I'm not interested in your goddamn boyfriend!!! I'd like to be your friend too but you had to ruin it!!! christ!!!
No. 536352
>>536333Do they know that you’re a lesbian?
Maybe they’re just homophobic lmao
No. 536365
>>536362Good on you for looking after her.
I hope you day gets better!
No. 536366
I thought I was smart, until I got done in by a little fat mr.niceguy.
He wasn't blatantly manipulative, or maybe he was but I was too focused on seeing the best in him or being forgiven because we were just two people trying to get better and help each other. Too bad he was a controlling, victim playing, gas lighting piece of shit and I am and was so fucking out of his league. I was so patient every single time, every time he'd insult me, mock me or treat with disdain just because he was upset over some bullshit and he'd even sit there and talk about how he was toxic and better out of my life. I never lied to him about anything. He was the type of faggot that would pretend everything was fine and then be passive aggressive. Fuck you dude. Fuck you so much. You took advantage of the fuck that I genuinely cared for you.
You got mad I had fucking friends.
You told me you didn't want me hanging out with a new friend group but that oh noo that was toxic to say and you were sorry for feeling that way but that didnt stop you from then turning that into ME comforting YOU because you made a big deal about leaving the friendship because we weren't "compatible"…because you didnt want me hanging out with this new friend group because they would influence me.
How everytime you were upset over some bullshit ass reason you would be so fucking arrogant and mean and I would sit there holding my tongue and just trying to be patient and work things out because I cared about you.
How much of this shit, looking back was blatant manipulation? or were you just too toxic and caught up in your own bs to not realize how bad your behavior was.
You got mad at me for not getting rid of items I was sentimental about that belonged to someone who had been special to me. You got mad I used a fucking emoticon that a friend of mine used because it meant I was "too close" to them. You got mad I went and celebrated with a friend. You got mad that I didn't stick to my diet when you brought junk food over except I told you not to bring any junk food REPEATEDLY. You got mad that I was still friends with someone was a big part of my life romantically. You got mad that I decided to use a stupid crosshair except you bought 50$ cheats for a different game and then you were using that as a reason to tell me that you were so disappointed in me and that you were leaving the friendship. You got mad that I bantered with friends. You got mad that I shared my jewelry collection with my friends. And in almost every single one of these situations, I was the one who would end up comforting YOU. Asking you to stay, to calm down to stop being so fucking toxic. Never once did I sit there insulting you or treating you like you were stupid like you did to me. You insulted me and belitted me while I was feeling suicidal, when i confronted you about it. You just got angry and said that you didn't mean to do that and you were just trying to help. Except the literal words you used were insults yet somehow you were angry at me. "How could you think I would do that you" and then act as if you giving me your time and care just by talking to me was somehow enough brush over that and how dare I be upset.
Fuck you. But it didnt end there, nahhh you just couldn't end things on a good note could you. You encouraged me for so long to do what was best for myself and when I did it, you threatened suicide, showed up at my house repeatedly when I told you that I wasn't coming back to the friendship. What makes it even fucking worse is that you even asked that if I knew you were at the door, if I would leave you standing there and you fucking abused that because I was too fucking nice to you. Never in my life had I been so open and raw towards someone and that just had to be you. Youd sit there telling me you werent trying to change my mind but then you still try to initiate contact and conversation even after I told you I was fucking done. or whatever the fuck we had. You got mad, told me you wished you had never met me. That I was the reason you were feeling suicidal and were going to commit suicide but then nah its okay to do that to someone right because you told me to "disregard" those comments you had made. When I asked you why you weren't respecting my decision you said that my decision didn't count because I wasn't in a healthy mindset. But all the times I respected your decision when you would leave, that was okay right?
Fuck you.
You know what's funny tho. I would have never left if you hadn't gotten mad that I decided to be a genuine friend to my ex. If you hadn't started being passive aggressive after I asked if you were okay and you said yeah. If you hadn't started throwing a pity party and acting like a little bitch. I still would be here crying almost every single day because of you but desperately caring for you and thinking that it was worth it and okay to be feeling anxious, stressed and emotionally drained all the time because of you. I left originally because I felt like shit over hurting you…because I decided to be friends with a person. lol. Fucking dumb bitch right here. Lo and behold tho, your actions when I left destroyed any blinders or rose colored glasses because hooo boyyy, I'm fucking stupid. I stopped crying for once and I looked back and realized just how fucking shitty and not worth shit you were.
I would still care about you, but you made sure to shit and destroy it and stomp all over the memories and any affection I might have had left for you with your fat acne ridden ass. Fuck you. I didn't care before, I didn't give a shit that you were fat, I just wanted to see you glo up and be happy and wanted to help each other.
But nah, fucking mr.niceguy. Suck a fucking dick. Ever since I left, I've been stewing over the scars and trauma you left.
You told me one day, how you read some reddit story about some chic that shared about a toxic fat guy who was or had been ruining her life. I remember you feeling sad and talking about how you felt that was you and you were ruining my life. I remember telling you that you weren't and to just focus on bettering yourself.
Nah nigga you were right. You were that toxic fat guy ruining my life.
BYE.
No. 536397
File: 1586009802076.jpg (113.52 KB, 1280x1280, melody - kuromi.jpg)
I know my issue sounds petty and insignificant compared to the problems that are posted in this thread, but I just need to vent this somewhere.
Why can't I make any art friends in the fandom I'm in or make any online art friends in general? I'm so jealous when I see other artists in the same fandom having fun, giving each other nice comments, having their own artgroup and give each other support by reblogging/retweeting each other's arts.
I actually tried to slowly make friends with some of the artists by leaving comments and reblogging their arts. I even tried to make conversations about the fandom in general but no one bothered to reply. I even drew some arts for a few artists that I like to show appreciation and support but most of them just say thanks and that's it…
I even joined in a few fandom event/challenges to make friends and contribute to the fandom fun but I still fail to make any friends. I did the "drawthisinyourstylechallenge" and no one wanted to participate in mine at all which saddens me.
I'm beginning to lose hope in making any art friends online. All my attempts are for nothing. I'm so frustrated and sad. It feels like I'm being left out of the fandom. I just want a friend that I can relate to and talk about silly fandom/weeb stuff because I don't have any irl friends that have the same nerdy and art interest as me.
Is it because my art is so ugly and not up to their standard that most artists don't want to be friends with me? Or is it because I'm not a popular artist with tiny follower numbers? Or maybe I'm being too annoying and pushy? Am I dumb for wanting to make online friends at all? I'm slowly beginning to hate art and social media in general. It's funny cuz social media is a tool to make like minded friends and be social but… I failed to make any friends at all! I honestly feel like quitting both art and social media gahhhhh!
tldr:- I just want an art friend to weeb out with and have fun drawing shitty fandom arts together reeeeeeeeeeee!
No. 536535
>>536497Pls don't feel bad, anon. I get that feeling too.
I have friends who have stable jobs, and some are even married (ew).
I'm in my 20s and i have just started college, never had a bf, never did anything crazy or exciting.
I pretty much spend all my life at home.
Not everyone is super functioning or has a smooth path from childhood to adulthood, trust me. There's many people like us too.
Don't look at other people, they're not you and you're not them. You're so so young still.
No. 536631
File: 1586044344562.jpg (26.83 KB, 211x316, f9e1d8de3f11ff65ca98577fcb1cf1…)
I hate how much I relate to this dumb bitch. I wish I wasn't this way. Someone needs to end me.
No. 536671
File: 1586047005885.gif (464.73 KB, 500x281, tumblr_mkt5bsZWW21rcoly3o1_500…)
>meet a cute girl on bumble
>we're hitting it off well
>"i'm having a get together tonight, you should join us!"
bb please, there are stay at home orders in place
No. 536689
>>536597Thanks for your honest input anon. Yeah maybe my art is ugly and I may come off as desperate to make artfriends. But to be fair, I did try to make friends with less popular artists and non artists that are active in the fandom too but I just can't seem to connect to anyone. I even draw fanarts of their OCs and AUs but I guess maybe it's not enough?
I've never tried discord before though and not sure how to go about joining a fandom discord? From what I understand you have to be invited into one? Maybe I'll just be a lone weeb for now and just try my best to get good in art, maybe someday I'll make friends with the same interest.
No. 536693
This is gonna be stupid long, I apologize.
I have feelings for the most impossible person, and not even entirely sure what kind of feelings. Something complicated, annoying and unlike anything I've felt towards anyone else. We've known each other for 13 years, and been a lot of things during that time. Friends, FWB's, and sometimes not having any contact for long periods of time. Never anything serious or any commitments.
There's always been a connection, something deep down that I never feel with people. An attraction in ways I can't describe. Just the right wavelength, understanding, whatever the hell it is. It just feels… right. We can speak about anything, instantly get one another, jump right in after not seeing each other for ages. And from what we've talked I gather it's mutual.
But. This guy is fucking impossible. I've been ghosted, ignored and stood up by him more times than any other people counted together. If we make plans, the odds of it actually happening are less than 5%. If it was anyone else doing this, I would be out, immediately.
He's apologized and explained his behavior. And the thing is, I get it. At least on some level. I have similar issues with social contacts, except I try to be nice and not a total dick about it. I could also be the biggest idiot for buying these explanations. Maybe I'm just one of many he keeps hanging like this. But if that was the case, I can't see the reason why. I'd understand if there was something he wanted from me (sex) and would disappear after getting it, but that hasn't even happened in years. Only theory I can come up with is some kind of a powerplay and getting gratification from emotionally messing with people, but he's seemed genuinely sorry for this behavior.
There's been times when I've gotten legitimately pissed and we haven't spoken in months or even years. Every damn time I make myself swear this is it. It's over. I'm going to just forget this person.
And every single time it fails. Sooner or later the thoughts of him sneak back inside my head and I'm reminded of whatever moments we've shared that were something straight out of a movie scene, unlike anything I've ever experienced with anyone else. Hell, I've managed to work through and overcome serious, long-term relationships, but not him. No matter what I do, it just won't go away and I'm starting to think it never will.
I doubt I'd even be capable of a real relationship anymore so I'm not sure what I even want. Been through complete hell with relationships and also otherwise, and have now been alone without even attempting to date for a long time. Even the idea of letting anyone near me just freaks me out. Except for this person. I would have every reason to hate him but instead he's the only one I'd trust enough to let close.
And fuck, I don't usually even feel attracted to men. This person is the exception in everything.
He - more or less - knows how I feel. I've told him. Claims he feels similar stuff. But things are at an endless stalemate. Not going anywhere.
Truth is that despite all of this we don't really even know each other. There's a fair chance it wouldn't even work if we ever tried something more serious. Which is unlikely to happen.
After what I've been through, I'm fairly comfortable with the idea of just being alone. Just finding my own little retreat away from cities and people, and going full hermit for the rest of my days. But there's just this annoying, constantly gnawing thought in the back of my head, wondering what it would be like if I got to do that with him.
No. 536700
File: 1586052477735.jpg (28.17 KB, 540x482, bbdg4i43fpi31.jpg)
Tfw no bf but it's not like I would ever be able to have a healthy romantic relationship with another person anyway since I don't see me being that vulnerable and trusting with another person possible in any world. I'm so lonely but how can I ever do anything about it when I'm this mentally fucked? How the fuck is any man supposed to love my mentally ill ass?
Not to mention my crippling body image issues that make the mere thought of someone else touching my body or seeing me in any state of undress panic inducing. I just want to be held but also not exist.
No. 536701
>>536672This smells of a self post.
On another note, my disordered eating has gotten out of control again and I can’t stop thinking about how badly I would like to be in a 00 instead of size 2 jeans.
Sigh.
No. 536753
>>536730I used to hang out with 'cool party' girls in my first year at uni and it sucked tbh
They perfectly fitted the stereotype of having no brains and talking about stupid superficial shit
I'd rather not be around this type of ppl anymore
No. 536764
God i feel so shitty
The guy i am seeing doesn't seem to like me as much as I like him
( is my first time liking someone/ in a relationship at all )
I have always been told I am cold and distant emotionally, but I am really trying with him, i try to cell him to do things ( not in person right now since you know… social isolation and stuff )
Like, this month we will make 6 months seeing each other, and he didnt invite me to meet his father
( my parents are in another country so, i would be better to meet his first )
I try to make online activities with him like watching a movie in netflix party, but the times I tried it he said he couldn't because of uni activities
i am very understanding so I let go
but when his friends call him to play something he goes, even in calls
he never called me
I just feel so worthless, like I am not worth his time
ALL my first experiences are being with him, i feel vulnerable and not even loved
I have already told him i like him, and that i feel happy with him
he only complimented me ONE time, in 6 months, i just feel ugly and replaceable, like I am just here so he can use my body
No. 536778
>>536753I like to talk about deep shit but most people I’ve met are not that reasoned. I would rather party than talk with faux intellectual people.
>>536754I don’t want to be a college woo girl. I think I want to hang out with an edgier crowd. Like Kurt Cobain doing heroin in 90s Seattle crowd.
No. 536830
>>536775That's awful anon, some people can be so selfish.
Call them and see if they can do a phone appointment?
I'm surprised they're doing an in person appointment with all this covid stuff
No. 536873
>>536845I don’t know anything about your relationship, but lockdown is hard on almost everyone. My bf and I have been living together since last September (with the occasional disagreement!) and it isn’t always easy, even if it’s going well overall. You can’t escape someone’s issues - and everyone has issues - when you live together, you kind of have to face them and decide to deal with them as best as you can.
Then if you take into account the background stressed/anxious/trapped/“purgatory” feeling of the crazy shit affecting everyone right now, it’s going to be even harder getting used to a big change in circumstance. Just ride out the storm, your bf should never be your enemy. All hope may not yet be lost anon.
No. 536887
File: 1586096385316.jpg (38.7 KB, 598x371, 8948c206245e245d1417aa479b2c2f…)
I'm so mentally drained guys I spent almost 3 hours designing this cool picture on an art app I have and I was literally just doing the finishing touches, like just adding one more thing and finalising shit that was gonna take one minute, when the app just shut down on me randomly and the picture didn't save and whyyyy does this always happen to me lmao. I get so close to doing something good, I actually take time and effort into making something that looks good and then a roadblock comes out of nowhere and just fucking wrecks it and I have to start all over again. It's a goddamn curse I really don't understand it. It's like nothing can go right for me, it's like the universe doesn't want me to succeed or something lol. I'm not even angry anymore I'm just so fucking exhausted and i kinda wanna throw myself off a cliff
No. 536888
>>536700Aw, anon, I don't have much advice to offer but I feel the same. I've ruined so many relationships (romantic and not) because of my horrible mental state. I'm at the point where I can only last a few months in a romantic relationship before I start projecting and trying to find things wrong with the other person, when I know I really just hate myself.
I don't know if you feel all of that too, but our only hope is probably therapy. It definitely seems to be true that loving other people requires first loving yourself. Good luck, let's try our best to love ourselves
No. 536916
File: 1586102270612.gif (3.59 MB, 375x346, EWWUqVS.gif)
I'm getting so fat from quarantine. I love eating shitty snacks like chips and pizza rolls, but I was working a lot before and really only ate bad once a week. Now every day is an off day and I have no motivation to not be a fatass.
No. 536957
>>536931Hindsight is 20/20, but I would've started attacking his manhood and accused him of being a coward over not accompanying your mom to the store or going in her place. I know it's hard though anon, I'd rarely think of anything witty or any good defenses for myself whenever I'd argue in the moment with people who were
abusive to me. Towards the end of living with my narc mother I went back into my teenage habits of screaming matches with her because I was sick of taking her shit and feeling genuinely bad about what she said. Meanwhile her narcissist self was guiltless and actually felt pleased in making me feel like shit. So I sought to hurt her as much as she was hurting me (in fact I wish I'd had gone farther back then), because then at least the playing fields were even. She deserved to feel as bad as she had made me feel for years. I moved out and I don't speak to her, she blames me for the failed relationship.
No. 537100
>>537080it was pretty bad. SPOILERS; Basically they sent the kid upstairs so the people cooking the meals could see that there was a kid inside (apparently kids were not allowed to be in that jail), hence why she was "the message". But like, why was she there in the first place? 5/10 because of the original concept.
Unrelated but venting,
its not the first time that my boyfriend makes comments about how girls that are 16-17 are mature enough to be with someone twice their age. It disgusts me a bit, and we had a fight about it. I'm afraid I am exaggerating? Is it really worth it to fight about it? He says they are already basically adults, and I… I just can't think of anything else but grooming?
No. 537111
File: 1586124354275.jpeg (28.81 KB, 512x454, 3D790946-320D-402C-9631-746DBC…)
>>537100You’re not overreacting at all and personally I would have broken up with him or told him off long ago. Sorry but your boyfriend is gross and depending on how old you guys are, very fucking concerning. 16 and 17 are NOT adults, they don’t even act like mature.
No. 537118
>>537100a 16-17 year old is definitely NOT an adult. hello? has he seen how kids those age act? they behave immaturely like they are still 15 and they should not date anyone older than them, god forbid twice their fucking age and especially someone who will take advantage of their vulnerability and naivety and turn the kid into some possible trauma having rape
victim candidate in the future.
your boyfriend is genuinely disgusting and this conversation pretty much tells you what kind of person he really is. he'd probably date someone around that age 100% if he's so prone to defending his "views".
No. 537129
My brother calls me fat every day and my parents don't care at all. The only time they told him to stop was when it was my birthday and I started crying. Usually I just go along with it or try to ignore it, because if I were to speak out, my father would get angry at him and my mother always get's really distressed when the two of them fight. The worst part is, that when he started calling me fat I was still slim, but over the years I really got fat, so now he's actually right and I don't have any grounds to defend myself.
When we were kids I went to a higher school than him and my parents always made sure that I would never boast about my education to him or anyone, but now he thinks that his major is much more difficult and prestigious than mine, he totally thinks of me as beneath him. Also always complains about feminazis. I'm really struggling in university so him calling what I do "child's play"… And again the only time my mom steps in is when I'm starting to cry.
My brother is my mother's darling boy, he says he's the middle child and that he's always treated the worst, but both our younger sister and I say that he's definitely our her favourite. I had an ed as a teen and a while ago my little sis also had a phase in which she at very little, yet my mom doesn't care, she's only worried about my brother skipping meals.
He's very easily pissed, so we and especially my mom do everything to try and keep him happy. I'm the "good" child, who rarely ever complains, and therefore they also don't really need to treat me as nicely.
On top of that I also know that my brother at best feels indifferent about me and at worst really dislikes me. But I still love him so much, I always feel sorry whenever him and my dad fight. We had such a nice childhood and we always played so well together, but now he only sees me as an embarrassment. I wish we could go back to how we were as kids. My parents always had to buy him the same clothes as mine (just in a size smaller) because he admired me so much. I really always treated him very well, so there's no actual reason for him to dislike me. He also clearly dislikes my sister, but it's always been like that with her, but not with us.
No. 537131
i'm a freelance writer and my editor is making me edit this one piece over and over again. he is asking for a fifth edit. i don't understand. this doesn't seem normal. i'm fine with it, but at this time, i'm so fucking stressed i can't focus on it anymore. if he asks me to edit it a SIXTH time i'm just going to tell him he can take it or leave it. it's a niche subject that took hours and hours of research, and the edits he's asking for are FINE they're just… why so fucking many? there are also huge gaps in communication (even before the pandemic) where i expect to get an email finally saying "look, we're not taking this piece, it's just not for us". i feel super strung along and foolish, but i'm going to put my foot down next time. the pandemic has RUINED my life in a lot of ways and i'm way too fucking busy to edit grammar that wasn't wrong in the first place but not the right tone for their publication. i just feel super annoyed, i mean, i get it, if i was an editor, i'd be a jackass too and punish writers for existing, but AT THIS TIME i cannot take it. i mean, i'm doing it. i'll suck it up. i'm just really fucking annoyed right now. "six edits" to me says "we don't particularly like this article, but we don't have enough content right now"… idk, i want to screech into oblivion
No. 537133
>>537132How? Are you amazonian or is he punny manlet?
>>537129Can you gray rock his bitch ass? Your brother changed into an incel and doesn't even deserve your love anymore.
No. 537140
My mum is sick rn, showing symptoms of COVID (cough and a fever). She's a nurse, and mostly cares for the elderly but some of them have been ill (not confirmed COVID). I was also sick last week (cold, runny nose, headache but no cough or fever afaik). I'm fine now, but I'm scared she's got the disease. She's been feeling okay, but I'm not reassured as people've said you can feel fine and then decline after like 10 days. She's in her late 50's, so I'm fucking spooked. We've been through so much, idk what I'll do if this takes her from me. I've got anxiety, so all this stress has been fucking me up but I've been trying to keep calm while looking after her bc I don't want her to panic. If she hears that our PM has been hospitalised, ik she will worry. She's always on her phone/Whatsapp so she'll likely find out tomorrow.
Shit's fucked because it's like this could just be a nasty cold, but because the virus is so insidious, you just can't tell. Thank fuck for Animal Crossing, it's kept me sane.
No. 537144
>>537142He'd make time for you if he was interested anon.
I spent 3 years with a guy who didn't want to spend time with me and now I can't believe how pathetic I was, always trying to cajole him into it. You can't argue someone into wanting you, you just need to accept that they don't and move on.
No. 537145
>>537142>>537144this
men who are interested LET YOU KNOW. if you chase them down there's an uneven dynamic. don't fall for this trap. men are programmed to pursue, not be pursued.
No. 537147
>>537145Men are WYSIWYG. I hate to say it, but women assume men play games and use subtlety and hints in the same way that they do (I speak as a girl who had to learn this the hard way).
If a girl acts like you don't exist, well, it's anybody's guess how the hell she really feels about you. But if a guy does the same thing, safe to assume he really does not give two shits.
No. 537149
File: 1586130037936.gif (247.64 KB, 220x165, tenor.gif)
>mfw All this shit about people not only charging a ridiculous amount of bells but also real money for villagers and Nook miles tickets
>All this drama with time traveling and ugly villagers
I REALLY need to get off twitter. Did it ever get this bad with New Leaf?
No. 537153
>>537129>so now he's actually right and I don't have any grounds to defend myselfEven if you're fat you still have ground to defend yourself on the basis that your his sister and he ought to care if something he's doing is putting you down. How has him calling you fat over the years helped you? Oh it hasn't, it's only fueled your self loathing and confirmation that you deserve less than a baseline of respect.
Your mom's spoilage has really done a number on him. I honestly think he's been so spoiled that he's too far gone to reason with because he's been taught to get his way and everyone else are just NPCs he can mess with in his games.
I'd personally find the nearest shoe and threaten him with it or break something of his, but you've gotta do something every time he does it to send the message that it shall not pass. If his teasing becomes too much effort for what it's worth then he may stop. But you gotta give him hell back anon, up to this point he's been enabled and thinks he can walk all over you because you've tried to be decent and a good sport. Let him know the party is over!
No. 537262
>>537260I know you say he's raised well and all that but he isn't allowing you equal power or caring enough about your needs. It's selfish and controlling behavior.
The only people I know with good reason to be so unwilling to 'let' a partner initiate are women who've been raped and who (temporarily) need to feel control that way. What's his excuse?
No. 537285
Something I noticed for a while now is any girl with bright blue hair always seems to be some special gender tumblrina. This is relevant to the vent.
My friend is a bit younger, some 20 year old, straight, white, from the south originally. So she has a new friend. Right away I notice this girl has that iconic blue hair. Surely not EVERY girl with blue hair who wears flannel is a special snowflake. Maybe she likes blue? Nope. Right away
"Hai, my name is _____ and I'm agender, but prefer to be he"
Triggered cuz, other than the flannel, she's wearing a black tank top with her breasts out in shorts and stripped stockings. I hate confrontation so I leave it be.
A couple of months later my friend is all of a sudden trans and this chick convinced them to shave her head. Not even a boyish cut, just head shaved and now they are a "they, them." Well… maybe I could… still be her friend?
It's really hard because she says she hasn't changed but this whole gender identity has fully consumed her personality. She seems to mold her personality completely to this blue hair chicks whim. She doesn't even have the same interests anymore. Everything that was likable about her is just gone.
Naturally, I just started to distance myself from her. This isn't my first run in with blue haired chicks.
Has anyone else seen them before? Or am I just specifically cursed?
No. 537308
File: 1586173009297.jpg (44.71 KB, 600x752, 298.jpg)
>>537302Blue haired reporting in, I'm semi-normie.
>>537305Yeah you got to have
this haircut.
No. 537355
>>537285>>537286>>537302>>537308I have blue hair and am definitely far more on the "
problematic edgelord" spectrum than the SJW Tumblrina spectrum. Really upsets me how having blue hair is now a genderspecial SJW libfem stereotype.
>>537351This. When I was in high school, blue hair was associated with cunty scene girls.
No. 537363
>>537285Alternative fashion has kind of been overrun with genderspecials lately.
There's still lots of tolerable human beings that like those kinds of aesthetics, though.
They're just slightly fewer and farther between (and probably older).
No. 537381
I'm an 18 year old college student. I have a ton of work to do daily on top of studying which is now a lot harder to manage and focus on now that it's online. I don't really have a problem devoting 90% of my time to school work but the problem comes with the fact that I have a three year old brother that I have to take care of.
I feed him, watch after him, give him attention, and put him to sleep every single day. My mother refuses to feed him, hits him, is constantly screaming and cursing at him, is always drinking or passed out drunk, etc. Right now she's going through a breakup with one of her temporary boyfriends as always, crying on the phone and snapping at my brother to the point of tears whenever he wants to get her attention. I'm so sick of it. If I didn't have the most bullshit classes with an unfair amount of work to do I'd be fine caring for my brother all day every day. I might even like it because I love him so much and really do care for him. But fuck I can't stand the fact that my mother can't fucking parent a single child. She's had three other children including me and not one of us are mentally/emotionally well and are dealing with deep-rooted issues from our childhoods. I get so frustrated that I have to be the one to care for my brother, not because I dislike doing so, but my mother's incompetence and selfishness is so frustrating. This isn't my child. I didn't choose to give birth to him, to bring him into this household. She puts the burden on me and although I understand being a single mom is difficult and I'm fine with taking care of him from time to time, she doesn't take care of him EVER. Not a SINGLE day in the week can I just focus on myself or my work. It's been like this since he was 2.
I really hope this doesn't come across as whiny or entitled. I'm just stressed I guess.
No. 537386
>>537381this seems like an extremely difficult situation to be in.
have you considered moving out and calling child services? this situation is dangerous for the both of you; you risk burnout (which is much worse than simply being tired, your body and mind could break) and your brother risks death. it's easier said than done but it seems like the only option.
No. 537414
>>537409He got called out for talking mad shit on someone and tried taking it back so he wouldn't get banned. Didn't work.
Cucking over internet shit is embarrassing.
No. 537423
>>537421i feel like i'm dramatizing. i have standards for how people treat me so everyone around me clearly cares for me, loves me and never puts me down. however, when i'm let down, i just get years of pent up shit coming back to convince me i'm just not worth anything good. it's the definition of spiraling lol.
though regarding the bf, he's soooo sweet, caring and loving but i wish i could have my own "wow i can't believe he did all that for me!" moment soon.
No. 537444
>>537381>>537419I understand your feeling nervous about calling protective services, truth be told I don't really know what will happen either if you do. I'd say give it a try, but I'm not so sure a scare like that would change your mom. If after four kids she still doesn't want to step up, then it's never going to happen.
I wanted to say I'm sorry for your troubles, because I know you're stuck in a hard place by either caving to your lazy mom, or letting your brother go neglected so as to not enable her. But would she even care if your brother went hungry for days, or was filthy? Would she notice if he went missing for a long period of time?
You're right that it's not your job to care for him, it's wrong. I don't blame you for your feelings or think they're whiny and entitled. They're natural in response to this messed up situation.
No. 537505
File: 1586206880024.jpg (214.65 KB, 1251x1500, 1585929315234.jpg)
>>537265>He was raped>He doesn't want me to initiate sex and I don't know whyAnon, are you being serious right now? Stevie Wonder would see the connection here.
No. 537515
File: 1586207677125.jpg (450.14 KB, 1440x882, 20200406_145648.jpg)
Idk if its even possible for most women to get a man in my league of attractiveness. I never see men saying girls so much uglier.
I'm a 6 in looks but it seems like I'll never be able to be a committed relationship unless I start going for people lower than 2/10 and really old men. So I'm stuck alone.
No. 537521
>>537505Yeah I'm a fucking idiot, it honestly took an anon bringing up basic psychology for me to smack myself in the head. Your analogy made me laugh, though. I'm gonna bake him something nice and never bring it up again.
On that note though, things have been shockingly better since my post. Almost like it magically turned everything around or something.
Thank you guys for talking me through this and being funny about it all. I can't believe how oblivious I was, and ignorant for thinking it wouldn't still affect him.
No. 537545
File: 1586209765145.jpg (37.99 KB, 750x729, caeb28895b9655399d47d05173da30…)
I want some dick but I can't do casual hookups because I'll only do it with someone if I'm in love with them.
I don't have sex, I make love.
No. 537562
>>535754Anyone know how to get over envy of overachievers?
This is really pathetic, I knew this girl in school and we didn't even talk but now she's set the bar for my entire life seemingly. Got incredible grades the full 7 years we were there to the point she was rumoured about, excelled in academics, art, music, sports and dance, pretty, great personality, popular online and offline, now goes to one of the best universities in the world. My current position isn't that bad, I have special skills in art and languages that I've worked hard to obtain, but I can't stop comparing myself to her. I wish I had done less dumb stuff throughout school and proved myself academically, not quit musical instruments, etc.
I don't even feel like I'm doing anything out of passion anymore, just adding new skills to a laundry list so they'll stack up against the precedent she set.
No. 537586
File: 1586213818181.jpg (32.46 KB, 230x210, 1584677695689.jpg)
This guy I've been pretty good friends with for the past five years sent me this really gross femdom type fantasy out of nowhere and asked me if I would be into it. We used to hook up a few years back but once we both got into semi serious relationships, we quit and just stayed good friends. Anyways, I flipped out on him over text saying that it basically wasnt appropriate and I thought the whole thing was gross. He never responded and when I tried to text him yesterday to see if he wanted to try and talk it out he left me on read. I'm actually really depressed about it. This guy was one of my best friends and now it looks like our relationship wont be salvageable at all. Should I just block him and end it now? Why are men like this?
No. 537591
>>537586Yeah end it.
Also
>femdom type fantasyHow fucking disgusting.
No. 537595
>>537588yeah I was younger when I met him and kind of had this mentality that I would never "settle down" so to speak so I didn't see the harm in hooking up. The thing is he knows that I'm still with my bf. He and his ex broke up a little over a month ago so he's probably just lonely/horny or whatever but the way he's been ghosting me makes me feel like he never wanted a friendship in the first place, just the potential for another hookup. I actually cried over this shit this morning, I dont make friends easily and i guess i thought he really wanted to be my friend?
Is this why you dont stay friends with guys you've fucked?
No. 537620
>>537603You're not alone, anon. This is a very common tactic men use, they take advantage of our "friendship" to manipulate us.
I dated this flakey "muh mental illness!" guy back in 2011 and broke it off because he was just self-centered and never wanted penetrative sex with me. I went to one of his therapy sessions once and he had a load of complexes. I assumed he was gay and figured we'd be better off as friends. He rarely talked to me throughout the years except when he was having hard times with the women he bounced around with, and sometimes after I'd get out of a relationship too. Iirc we just cammed every now and then. While we never fucked, I think he still enjoyed the sexually charged attention as a means of feeling validated–he's an anachan so there's that. Finally he shacked up with a woman 10+ years his senior because she provides and does everything for him while he doesn't work. He STILL finds a way to bitch about her-about I don't remember what specifically. She seems pretty nice on social media so I'm sure whatever frustration she has towards him it's justified on the basis that she does everything for him. But I digress. A couple months ago there was a week where he was trying to get me on camera to 'talk' but he always tried to when she wasn't around. Obviously if he had good intentions he wouldn't have had to been paranoid about that. One day I actually took a break from work that we both agreed upon, just to finally get this talk session over with and he told me "Oh sorry I got someone else to talk to." As if I were chopped liver suddenly because some other woman was there to give him attention and he didn't need me anymore. Women are interchangeable to him as long as they're giving him what he wants, and the women who don't he ignores or discards.
I let him know how rude that was and he hasn't attempted to talk to me since even though he has the means. I've got his number, the only reason why I kept him on social media is because I want to find out what happens to the long term relationship and how long it'll be before that generous and patient woman snaps. She's really like a mom to him.
No. 537628
File: 1586217061506.gif (841.31 KB, 500x300, morrissey.gif)
I can't feel good emotions strongly anymore. I feel like I never had a "honeymoon" phase with my bf. I knew I liked him and we were a good match, but I never had those feelings of infatuation.
I still miss him and look forward to seeing him and want to do things that make him happy, so I know I'm not uninterested. Idk if I'm jaded from previous heartbreaks or if it's a matter of being in an "adult" relationship.
Outside of my relationship, it's the same. I rarely feel excitement or happiness. When I do, they're dull and fleeting.
Bad things typically hit me like a ton of bricks and for awhile, it seemed as if the only deep feelings I had were those of depression.
I just want to feel alive.
No. 537713
>>537677Stop looking at the scale. It isn't an accurate representation of your weight or self worth anon. Seriously, weight fluctuates 3-5 pounds a day and that doesn't account for muscle or shit.
>>537685I get over the honeymoon phase super quickly but to keep things fresh we plan dates at least once or twice a month and we try to spend quality one and one time once a week min throughout our busy schedules.
No. 537768
File: 1586253912595.png (797.09 KB, 960x929, 01e.png)
This has been me for past week now stuck in quarantine with my mom, I have cried nearly every day and she keeps on insulting and degrading me, please someone help me
No. 537793
>>537752I understand you. My father always asks me how I am, but I know exactly that he doesn't actually want to know how I really feel, he wants me to smile and act as if everything is wonderful, but I can't do that because most of the time I feel like shit. So I usually say Fine or Okay and then he asks Only okay? Why not fantastic? and then I come up with stuff like classes being stressful because otherwise he'd react like your dad. It's not like he really cares that I'm a depressed loser since years already, a couple days ago I started crying while sitting right next to him and he didn't even notice. He thinks only his problems are
valid, while everything I have to deal with is a challenge I must go through. He only wants me to seem happy, to tell him I love you daddy, give him a kiss on the cheek, so that he can feel at peace that everything's alright. So yeah, I also wished he just stopped asking, so that I no longer have to try and pretend. He's not a bad father, but he was at work most of my childhood, so we're kind of emotionally distant (I'm scared of more deeper or serious talks with him since it always feels like an interrogation) and he likes to be in control but also not having to deal with my siblings and my problems.
No. 537794
>>537770I don't think that's their problem, it's his weird passive-aggressive reply. This can get really tiring if you're in a bad mood and the parent is the kind that is constantly seeking confrontation and takes everything personally. But I still agree with
>>537753 and
>>537767 if it's possible.
No. 537811
Anons, I (23) need some help. Basically, my ex boyfriend, Joe, (25) from a few years ago has a new girlfriend, Lola (18), but we’re still very close best friends. We broke up because I had problems staying faithful, but when we tried poly, I didn’t like it when he had other girlfriends. He has relocated to England to be with this new girlfriend and plans to pursue citizenship.
I have a bf atm, but he's not long-term. I genuinely believe that Joe and I are soulmates, and his new gf isn’t right for him. She doesn’t understand him like I do. They’ve been together for almost a year ago now. I often try to flirt with Joe subtly and send him naughty selfies: i.e. ass pics, panty pics, and cleavage selfies. He doesn’t really respond to them, but doesn’t ask me to stop. I comment on all of his statuses, because I know she sees them.
I’m friends with her on fb bc when he visits USA, she'll come too, and have to meet her if I wanna hang out with him. I really don’t like that, I feel like she’s basically stolen him from me and has colonised his life, when I had him first. I have spoken to her a few times and we were nice to each other, but she basically just flexed about the fact she goes to college and lives in an expensive area and how she made loads of money camming. She's a narcissist who thinks she's better than me for this.
His family banned me from his house. His gma never liked me when, because I didn’t talk to her much and would be high around her pretty often, but she worships the ground Lola walks on. Lola has turned Joe’s whole family against me. This insane bitch managed to get his whole family wrapped out her finger?!
I say flirty things, i.e. calling him buff, asking him if I’m cute, and I share pictures from our relationship to his timeline, so she knows I had him first. I’m sure she sees these, but she doesn’t react. I also send him pics of us hanging out/kissing from when we were dating, but he’s dismissive.
I check both their profiles a few times a day, and she acts as like they're perfect: posting selfies of them travelling, family events, christmas pics etc. I try to find vulnerabilities in her posts and exploit them to criticise their relationship. He has told me that he thinks she isn’t very intelligent, and I think he assumes that he’s confiding in a friend who is impartial/unbiased. Whenever he says somethings negative i.e. she makes a mistake, I get him to talk more about it, and then use it to highlight how toxic and manipulative she is.
I also added a couple of her IRL friends. His friends act cold to me and when I try to talk to them in comments, they ignore me, as Lola has manipulated them into ostracising me. They often mock me for flirting with him on his posts and it makes me feel humiliated. I wish I could interact with him freely without worrying about his retard friends. They all worship and orbit Lola and compliment their relationship, it’s crazy.
I’m hoping that if I keep this up, they will break up. I sent a veiled love confession to him a few months ago: if we’re meant to be together, then we both need to take responsibility to make that happen. He didn’t respond. We still tell each other ‘ily’, but he often says things like ‘no homo’ or ‘I can’t really comment on that’. He hasn’t outright rejected me.
Honestly, she's a stuck up, blonde slut and I know that isn’t his type AT ALL. She’s stupid, he even admits that. She’s a total narcissist and thinks she’s better than me because she goes to college and has perky tits. She’s constantly flexing her wealth by posting holiday selfies and talking about her achievements (i.e. prom queen, getting into a masters program.) She also financially abuses him by taking him on holidays, buying him PS4, new clothes and bragging about it online, when he’s on welfare. He probably uses her for his money. I used to make him pay for gas when we hung out…
Me and him have a very special bond and we have way more compatibility and we share way more interests than he does with her. He even told me he prefers my personality and that he loves me and would never get rid of me. We talk every single day. But he’s never made any sort of romantic gesture since they began dating. We both like gaming, computers and politics, and I’m a lot smarter than her and am more capable of discussing these subjects.
What can I do? Should I just be direct and ask him if we can get back together? He used to be all over me regardless of my infidelity/mild emotional abuse and now he acts totally different to me. Should I ask him to choose between us? I still love him and I hate seeing that he’s with someone who is essentially better than me. He was MINE first. I obviously regret not agreeing to stop cheating and be with him monogamously, and he gave me plenty of chances, but I didn’t realise him going out and finding someone else was actually an option. How can I get this stupid ‘fake’ relationship out of the way? I’m exhausted.
Summary: TL;DR Ex has a new gf who isn't right for him at all. He has relocated to England to be with her. We're clearly a better match and my attempts to break them up are so far, failing.
No. 537821
>>537811keep your hands off someone elses boyfriend wtf
You can't seriously say this
>I often try to flirt with Joe subtly and send him naughty selfies: i.e. ass pics, panty pics, and cleavage selfies. and then be surprised about this:
>Lola has turned Joe’s whole family against me. No. 537829
>>537822>>537824Not bait and genuinely seeking advice. I know it may seem like I'm trolling but this is my genuine situation and I'm sick of their bullshit relationship. He's obviously just dating her to make me jealous.
I asked if he's going to marry her and he said no.
No. 537831
>>537821She's the retard for thinking he actually likes her… She's made his fam hate me, which is totally unfair on me, because when/if we get back together, it'll be difficult for us to hang out as he doesn't drive and I have roommates.
So because of Lola, there is no way for us to hang out unless we do it in public. How the fuck am i meant to have a friendship with him if there's no way for us to hang out? She's a manipulating cunt and she's trying to stop us being friends.
No. 537834
>>537811You need serious psychological help. He's not interested, leave them both alone and let them be happy. You likely have BPD as
>>537817 said. You need jealousy counselling.
No. 537835
>>537829>and then use it to highlight how toxic and manipulative she is. no you are
toxic and manipulative.
I seriously hope this is a bait, and if not I hope you get the professional help you need to fix this unhealthy obsessive behaviour.
No. 537838
>>537811So, basically, you gaslight your exes new girlfriend, while pretending to be her friend, and send him nudes, and wonder why she 'turned his family' against you?
Bitch she probably just showed them the lewds/shittalking from Joe's inbox, and that was enough.
You're 23 and she's 18 and seems to be more mature than you. How do you get through life like this? I can't take you seriously.
He's ignoring your nudes, your confessions and he isn't telling you to fuck off because your friendship is probably fragile. Maybe you are a better friend for him, but that's all he sees you as.
He doesn't want you and I can see why he prefers Lola.
No. 537851
>>537831Anon, you and your ex are never ever getting back together. No if's or when's. You don't love him. If you loved him, you would want him to be happy, and not treat him as a pawn in your sociopathic mind games. It's never okay to send "ass pics" to someone who doesn't consent. He is not your property, and you're probably hurting him a lot. Get over yourself and go to therapy.
>I try to find vulnerabilities in her posts and exploit them to criticise their relationship>she makes a mistake, I get him to talk more about it>he assumes that he’s confiding in a friend who is impartial/unbiasedThis is the definition of you being manipulative, anon. Stop reading their profiles and get a new hobby. Grow some plants. Get a cat. Go to church. I don't know. But you gotta move on.
No. 537852
>>537811>>5378291. Why is all this structured like a Reddit post? Can you take your shitty copypasta back there?
2. This is obviously some ragebait bullshit.
Didn't one anon say we're being raided or something? Can't these people come up with better stories?
No. 537856
>>537851Lol what so I'm a rapist for sending him ass pics? He didn't tell me to stop…
>>537852I genuinely want advice and posts like this aren't helpful.
No. 537866
>>537811If I was his girlfriend I would post your pathetic nudes to anon-ib and send them to your workplace, and your current boyfriend.
They’re probably both laughing at you, anon
No. 537879
>>537811There is so much to unpack here but I can't address it all. You definitely have bpd.
Stop sending ass pics. It's creepy and violating, it's like being sent a dickpic. He didn't ask for them, and he didn't respond to them. He doesn't want to see that shit.
Leave their relationship alone, they sound far more happier than you guys ever were, and you can't seem to tell me one bad thing about this poor lass, other than the fact that she's doing a hell of a lot better than you in life.
>how toxic and manipulative she isLiterally how? It sounds to me like she's been pretty fucking lenient by allowing him to still be friends with you despite your bullshit.
Even if she did ask him to block you, that wouldn't make her
toxic or manipulative, because you're actively trying to sabotage their relationship.
No. 537881
>>537856Okay, I have time today.
The proof this isn't real is in how you keep ignoring all the well-written responses, giving stupid one-line, delusional-sounding replies and dragging everything out after everyone's already told you that you're the one in the wrong here and should stop.
It's like you're just trying to annoy people with a tale of a stereotypical BPD-chan. Another sign is how you present everything:
>Whenever he says somethings negative i.e. she makes a mistake,Someone who legitimately thinks this way wouldn't say "she makes a mistake". That's too sympathetic. They'd be following the script of her being a fuck-up perfectly, and try to present the other woman as malicious whenever possible to build sympathy for themselves.
>I also added a couple of her IRL friends. This part should be omitted. You're speaking like someone observing a cow. From the actual person's perspective, this would just be "our mutual friends, some of which she knows IRL". Or, "I tried to bridge the gap between our social circles so we could make peace".
>How can I get this stupid ‘fake’ relationship out of the way? I’m exhausted.Why is "fake" in quotation marks?
This is your biggest fuck-up, though:
>Honestly, she's a stuck up, blonde slut and I know that isn’t his type AT ALL. She’s stupid, he even admits that. She’s a total narcissist and thinks she’s better than me because she goes to college and has perky tits. She’s constantly flexing her wealth by posting holiday selfies and talking about her achievements (i.e. prom queen, getting into a masters program.) She also financially abuses him by taking him on holidays, buying him PS4, new clothes and bragging about it online, when he’s on welfare. He probably uses her for his money. I used to make him pay for gas when we hung out…This is the most retarded line. It honestly sounds sarcastic. I can't believe you typed this thinking it'd be convincing to anyone but a low-IQ scrote.
>I hate seeing that he’s with someone who is essentially better than me. The person who would write the shit you posted would never admit this.
Honestly, the person wouldn't even be seeking anonymous advice and trying to convince everyone they're in the right. They'd already know their actions wouldn't be backed or supported by other people. You're a piss-poor writer, anon. If this is real, you're probably "Lola", using this thread to vent and have people attack your boyfriend's ex because you feel annoyed by him still talking to her. The "perky tits", "bought him a PS4", "flexing about college and living in an expensive area" are too braggy. Just fucking dump him already.
No. 537885
>>537811>She also financially abuses him by taking him on holidays, buying him PS4, new clothes and bragging about it online, when he’s on welfare.I feel personally attacked because I did all this stuff for my ex line for line even the PS4 Pro lmao.
But I'm confused, do people really view this as "financial abuse" to a man? Women doing nice things for men is abuse? I'm so confused by what anon meant.
No. 537891
>>537829So, what? You asked him a leading question, he probably meant he's not planning on marrying her right now, like no shit they're both young.
You're trying to look for meaning that he wants you when he's probably just too embarrassed/polite to tell you to go to hell.
Bet you think you're some sort of mastermind 'homewrecker' evil genius but i guarantee all his and her friends know about you and are taking the piss out of you.
You don't have a 'special bond' you're just a retard who can't let him go.
No. 537909
>>537905I'm
>>537881 and I thought the exact same thing, but I didn't want to tinfoil too much.
It's been what, months? Maybe even a year since she last shared this situation with us? She always ignores anons when they tell her to leave her worthless boyfriend, so she must be very happy and satisfied with this bullshit gimpgirl-tier cuckquean relationship. I don't know why she keeps coming back, and even trying to write from the other girl's perspective.
The only inconsistency is her being 18 up til now, but I'd have to go back and look at dates.
No. 537911
>>537900>>537904>>537905>>535754>>537909Okay Maybe i'm not explaining myself very well. This isn't bait or tinfoil.
>We dated for 5 years and an intense history that makes us very close friends.>I sent nudes, he ignored it but doesn't tell me to stop. Emphasis on HE DOESN'T SAY STOP. It's a mixed signal.>We talk every day>We tell each other we love each other every day>His new gf is trash, narcissist, constantly flexxing her wealth>We are far more compatible and understand each other. We both like computers, 4chan, the same music, politics, and are on the same level>new gf is a retard bimbo who has no concept of any of that stuff despite going to college>He has moved his entire life to the UK because she probably forced him to. He's being abused by her, why else would she make him uproot?I need to stop this bullshit relationship, it's gone on for long enough. I'm tired. I want him back.
Can't I just get him deported or some shit? He has no one else out here so if he got deported to the US he would basically be forced to get back with me.
No. 537914
>>537911When a man really wants something they're going to get it regardless of what it takes.
If he wanted to be with you, he would be.
No. 537916
File: 1586272877522.png (425.77 KB, 2074x1150, 893892198.png)
>>537911>doubling downStop already. Even the nudes thing. Even the fucking apostrophes. I swear to god, this is pathetic.
Didn't you mention living in the UK before, too? And post your face here?
Your boyfriend is the problem here, stop trying to use us for catharsis when the real solution is staring you in the face.
No. 537926
File: 1586274453265.png (154.41 KB, 1886x432, 8529981.png)
>>537920Raped by an ex gf? Yup, it's definitely the same one.
No. 537960
>>537926The one yesterday was trying to bait people into calling their bf a monster for never allowing 'her' to initiate sex, then when he got the replies he wanted he suddenly pipes up with >oh yeah I just remembered my bf was raped before. As if they couldn't link those pieces together til someone called him a controlling dick?.. so transparent.
Seen a weird amount of references to male rape on here lately. It reminds me of a few months back when there was an influx of posts from anons all with smelly pussies. So pussies smell and men get raped all the time. My two favorite roleplays to spot on here.
No. 537984
>>537977I guess you're right?
I mean things didn't really end "ugly" between us, he knows what he did, apologized for it, said that it wasn't an easy decision for him to make and that there was no other way, which I think is bullshit considering the whole story.
I guess I'm just worried about him since he and she are both already dead set on having kids before they turn 30 (so like, in 5 years) and marrige. They've known each other for less than a year and he literally clung to the first woman that showed interest. He's so desperate for marrige and kids that he might screw himself over. I know I could be wrong and I hope all goes well for him, but yea I'm just worried. I suppoes I just want him to know I'm here if he needs support, idk really.
No. 538056
File: 1586294272746.jpg (126.31 KB, 600x600, 600x600.jpg)
What's a girl got to do to get fucked by an elven tree lord
Where's the witchcraft anon to cast a spell on me and transport me to him
No. 538066
File: 1586295767608.jpg (15.79 KB, 275x154, 1572118914666.jpg)
>>5378111. His gf is 1000% times better than you. Period.
2. His family hates you because SURPRISE! -You- are the
toxic manipulative one.
3. "Hes obviously dating her to make me feel jelly," "shes evil because she buys him stuff and takes him on holiday," is all a massive cope and projection on your part.
4. This 18 year old girl is ten times as mature as you. She also treats him like a human being and not a possesion.
5. Get psychological help you fucking insane BPD bitch.
No. 538075
>>538066I aspire to be the type of bitch that makes my bf’s ex seethe that hard
>>537918I like how I knew exactly what song u linked lol a bop
No. 538082
File: 1586296529551.png (273.83 KB, 2048x774, 903911213.png)
>>538070See
>>537905>>537916>>537926Pic related is her, too, but she ended up getting back with him. She's made a lot of posts on this topic, but I think this is the first time she's tried to impersonate pizza girl.
No. 538085
>>538084No one said you were, unless you're the one who posted
>>537811, in which case, lmao. No one is fooled. Stop this shit.
I think this might be the first time it was mentioned, but there are probably others:
>>>/g/109004 No. 538138
>>538066Lol, this
>>537811Anon leave them both alone, tf
No. 538143
>>538136Sure it is. All this shit just coincidentally lines up, down to the fucking apostrophes used by both the pizza girl ITT and the OP, the 18 year old sex worker buying her NEET bf a PS4 and a trip abroad (turns out it was to Italy, apparently), the ages, the pizza girl sending nudes to the bf, the location (UK), the 18 year old having a degree she can't help bragging about, the insecurities of the 18 year old (mainly that their interests line up), etc.
What a fucking astronomical chance.
This isn't tinfoil, fuck off if you can't be assed to read the posts.
No. 538148
File: 1586301588916.png (230.04 KB, 1252x718, st.PNG)
>>538136nta but it really isn't tinfoil. it's the same poster, same exact ages of all of them, she mentioned a million times buying him a ps4, him being american with an american ex she thinks is an ugly loser, her being english, him being on welfare, her being 'successful'. it's the same girl larping. it's literally all in her first posts, and in subsequent posts.
No. 538170
>>538153It was a cutting joke about emo kids slitting their wrists and shit, when they all know I suffered from INTENSE self harm, to the point where my arms are so clearly marred it looks like Wolverine gave me a rubdown. I think these things are so frustrating too because if I make a quick joke about myself, usually about disorders I have, he gets really upset and tells me that I NEED to stop doing that (which is understandable but stupid when this happens.)
Same friends are getting better about it but would make horrid, HORRID level rape jokes when I have spoken out about that needing to stop because of me being a
victim (And if not a joke, used in the typical gamer greasy dude of "Yeah I got raped in that game" "That raped my wallet"
I hate this shit so much but I stay around because my boyfriend and also i have very bad paranoia that people i care about will talk about me.
No. 538192
>>538142i absolutely cannot discipline myself, and it doesn't help that all my professors are old and aren't good with the internet. i also can't keep up with due dates and have missed several assignments. we were given like a day to get used to online school and shit was due within 24 hours. my professors didn't bother to email us about the assignments. luckily all my exams are online so i can use my notes and google. but like. i'd love to learn face to face bc that's easiest for me(we're not using zoom for some reason)
my summer courses have already been declared online, which is good don't get me wrong, but i'm not looking forward to it. it was so much fun last summer, coming to school with barely anyone on campus and everyone was generally in a better mood and more pleasant to be around
No. 538284
File: 1586321539451.jpeg (103.27 KB, 1080x868, 78F9B782-B88F-4F14-BD78-CADF56…)
I am such a fucking SIMP and a WHORE. I cannot stop simping for my ex roommate/friend and I feel shitty for being unable to stop thinking about how much I wanna fuck him.
How does a guy go clubbing with you every Saturday night (up until quarantine), watch movies with you most other nights, come into your JOB to tell you HE JUST WANTED TO SEE YOU, go to the gym with you (up until quarantine), text you everyday, make MEMES for you, and now, I recently moved out a week or so ago, he doesn’t even text me.
I once came by to pick up extra stuff the other day and he said “so what movie are we watching” , we watched a movie and halfway through it he asks me about my ex that I had just broken up with, I told him we’re good now, emotionally. Here’s where I’m a slut, we all lived with each other. I never cheated on my boyfriend, but when I knew my emotions were rising and I couldn’t stop (along with other incompatibility stuff) I broke it off with him. Fast forward I go home, I text him that I really like watching movies with you and things with my ex are in a position where it’s ok when I come over. He responds with stuff about ok etc and then “I like watching movies with you too :)”
We both like emoji spam pasta and I thought this was my one chance. I don’t even wanna date this guy I really just wanna fuck him and watch movies. So I responded in an emoji spam meme format about the :) with does this mean (Eggplant emoji,etc etc) it was suggestive but I don’t think it was cringe.. he responds with LOL (he’s almost 40).
Now I’ve texted him twice after that like a simp, hung out with him once and it was nothing unusual, but he’s not as social with me anymore since I left.
I feel like I ruined whatever and I can’t stop wanting to simp out on him even though he’s not even worth it. And I am a total slut because my ex lives with him until the end of this month and I realized when hanging with my roommate that my ex and I had nothing in common, my ex didn’t even try to pull me back in, my ex also hit walls and is unmedicated bipolar so I was already realizing I wasn’t ready to date this guy anymore. I feel bad that a month after the breakup I brought up anything remotely sexual to my roommate.
I just needed to rant about it. I sound like a fugly dude that got friendzoned and a whore that is on to the next one.. this is what happens when men give an ugly girl attention.
No. 538385
>>538344I hope you're right, anon. I'm just so exhausted and worried. I finally left all the thotty things behind just as I turned 18 and yet it's still haunting me.
He doesn't know any of my friends or family so I hope nothing happens.
Even worse is that my fam is muslim and would absolutely kill my ass.
No. 538399
File: 1586345855654.png (407.57 KB, 420x374, stupidbitch.PNG)
I vented this in the past vent thread but I hate myself for liking this guy I met from a dating app. He actively likes my pictures on one of the social media and he only ever calls if he wants to do some freaky shit and I just keep dodging it.
But like a clown I keep getting excited when he messages me or just likes my pics
No. 538469
>>538464Hey, anon, you’ll be alright. Lockdown makes it easy to gain weight, but it can make it easy to lose weight as well (I personally struggle to lose weight when I’m working full time for example, it’s easier when I have time off). You can pull it back and get into good habits. I would suggest prioritising getting better sleep, though, because you’ll find it harder to lose weight if you’re constantly sleep deprived, so a little bit of short term discomfort will make you feel way better in the long run.
Just don’t panic! The sun is shining, you’ve got all the time in the world. I’m rooting for you!
No. 538488
File: 1586362023412.png (132.63 KB, 500x282, 3cd8a33a.png)
Bernie dropped out and now I'm disappointed as fuck. The US won't see any real progress again probably until I'm a middle aged or retired old woman.
No. 538504
>>538488It's gonna play out like last election. All the msm and hardcore Dems will RAH RAH for Biden as if he's electable (just like Clinton), but all the votes are gonna go to the Reps and Trump. Meanwhile the younger generations are so disenfranchised that they're not gonna show up to the ballot at all, meaning we might not even get the "blue wave" in the House and Senate like everyone hoped for at least, assuring Trump still has his tard powers.
This spells four more years of Trump. I'll be a good sport and vote but if it is indeed Trump again I'm DONE. The bumpkins and the rich can have this wasteland country. A shame the poor and uneducated couldn't follow suit like me because I think it'd be awfully hard for the ones in power to function without their indentured slaves.
No. 538506
>>538337leak your own nudes first
>>538357lmao you would hate me
>>538488who else is not voting for either rapist. i'm writing in sanders even though it makes virtually no difference
No. 538509
>>538506Check your state. Write ins can be
valid votes but some states won't recognize a write in candidate in which case then your vote is useless. That's why I couldn't vote Bernie last time.
No. 538516
>>538513Different anon but I didn't get to vote either. I thought that would be retarded during a covid crisis. I thought government might be decent and postpone voting for that reason but no.
This election is corrupt.
No. 538526
>>536094Lmao sounds like all the same self victimization arguments people here make for the actions of flakes. Fuck her anon, she isn't the
victim. Shes sorry she got caught and she was nasty as fuck to you.
No. 538552
>>538525You should still vote for the house of representatives and the senate. Not to mention your local governments. There's other things to vote for besides presidency.
If we can get Dems in the house and the senate then that will inhibit Trump's shenanigans at least a fair bit more than if nobody voted and we keep the status quo.
No. 538560
File: 1586376521149.jpg (296.08 KB, 720x720, original.jpg)
Hate how my dad keeps talking shit about me and my mom when he is talking to my older brother on the phone who still refuses to help us or even give a single penny to us.at least my mom is supportive and understanding unlike the old bastard I have of a dad,he keeps rambling on how I'm not capable of living alone or having a stable life,I swear I need to abandon him forever,I hate pretending that I actually like him in which I don't
I hate my shit family
No. 538607
File: 1586385469393.png (188.92 KB, 640x409, yp-5.png)
>made a post on social media asking friends if they'd like a penpal
>seemed like a good idea that might cheer them up
>delete it a minute later after realizing people are gonna be freaked out to even touch paper because of covid and I'll get no responses
I didn't really think it through but I'm depressed after realizing. I just wanted to do something nice, and hoped it would make me feel a bit better too.
No. 538647
>>538640You're not an asshole, I'd be raging in your position. Not at the unemployed people and not really even at the govt, it's just a shitty way for things to work out.
Honestly, I'd happily take a few hundred dollars pay cut if I got to do nothing instead of work with no questions asked.
No. 538673
>>536834wow, are you me anon because I'm going through the same thing. sucks cuz he has most of the qualities I'm looking for in a person rn (long hair, super into history, hates scary movies, loves animals, caring as FUCK, etc)
I just want to get back into dating, anons
No. 538691
File: 1586402146253.jpeg (23.09 KB, 601x695, A154532A-970F-4397-ABC8-4AA652…)
I have a problem. I applied for a position at a law enforcement agency and I got it but the captain suggested I try another position because they needed more people in that area. I’ve never done it before but I said why not, I’ll give it a try.
It’s been two days of training and I can’t see myself doing it. It’s way more stressful than the position I wanted and I’m not ready to take the responsibility of helping save peoples lives.
Problem is I told my family and everyone keeps saying “you only been there two days you’ll get it “ and it’s true I just started but I got to see the work they do everyday and it’s ALOT. Everyone wants me to keep going but I didn’t want that position in the first place. I’m just sad because my dad was really excited about all this, and I don’t wanna disappoint him and have everyone think I’m a quitter but I have no desire to do this job. I just wanna go the original position I applied for.
No. 538718
File: 1586406286416.jpg (698.04 KB, 1232x1354, tumblr_076e2ebb1c189b69bade8ea…)
I just saw one of my ex friends now have a switch and start playing games that i wanted to play and i felt like shit. Purchasing a switch is one of my goals this year and due to the pandemics i cant really get out and find a job rn and have to stay home dealing with uni work. Turns out im the one with the shitty life not the way around like i always thought, it looks like im loosing already and im the one that kept dwelling in the past not her. Sometimes i just wish things were better but they never seem to be.
No. 538734
>>538718I hope you can do something nice for yourself soon. I don't think your problem is a lack of a switch, please try to address whatever it is that is actually dragging you down.
Also block that ex friend, it's not worth stalking people you used to know.
No. 538776
Well I know I can't be the only one who thinks this way? I don't get people tinfoiling that covid is some huge false flag for the governments to switch to Orwellian measures to control the populace.
I'm sorry but even before covid, were we not already in that sort of hell? Look guys, if I wanted to disappear off the radar I legally couldn't because I'd be hunted down over debts. Look I don't care that some country bumpkin could hold up in a cabin in the woods, the majority of the population live in city centers and suburban sprawls and there's no way we could all get out of dodge unnoticed. Effectively trapped in the system. We are already slaves to consumerism. Consumerism is so embedded in our cultural attitude that to not partake in consumer culture is seen as being weird if not boring. If you're not spending money, thereby making someone else richer, you're not interesting. In fact, I'd argue covid is bad for governments because preventative measures against it hurt consumerism, which is why governments like the US dragged it out for so long with half measures for everyone's safety until it was much too late. All for money and power. No doubt that post-covid the government is going to try to pull retroactive shenanigans to encroach on civilian rights, but in the meantime it can't be good for them. The pro certainly didn't outweigh the con here. Too many rich people are taking a hit for it to have been purposeful. We were under the government's thumb with consumerism, if they wanted a more controlled way to hurt our rights then they would've just started another war, we were overdue for a WWIII don't cha know? Fuck maybe they will have the gall to fire up the war machine just because of covid and convince a bunch of scared and ill citizens that it's justified.
This is a plane crash in a slow motion nosedive and we're the lucky pilots who get to see the oncoming ground before we crash into it. That's why it's so amusing when people think we haven't already been living in 1984 for them to think population control isn't already a thing just because it's not blatantly in their faces, like China's social points system for instance.
No. 538789
>>538776God I don't feel bad for retards like you.
>I'm sorry but even before covid, were we not already in that sort of hell? Yeah I'm sure people thought like that after 9/11, and then after Edward Snowden whistleblew our own government, and after the vault 0 leaks. This is all real shit whether you like it or not. Are you going to ignore the fact several world leaders downplayed COVID-19 and the sudden investments in online education? Like are you aware of how bad things really are or do you just gloss through life with a blue screen while you watch netflix all day? Research arab spring, don't doubt for a fucking second that people won't take your rights away if they can. A lot of people have already lost their sex based rights and freedom of speech.
No. 538795
>>538696I feel you anon… All of my (former) friends have pretty much perfect lives, super pretty, super smart and super popular, while I'm a social recluse who still lives at my parents, I also didn't make a single friend in university, I don't go out,… I'm a bit younger than you but all of them are always dating, so it won't be long until they start to get married too. I don't even know if I would want to go
if invited, because then I'd feel even more like a loser in comparison to them.
No. 538796
Last year a friend of 5 years fucked me over in the worst way possible and I still can't come to terms with it.
After guilt tripping me into inviting her on my partner and I's overseas trip which we had been tirelessly saving and looking forward to, she completely ruined the whole thing.
If she wasn't being a disrespectful turd towards the locals, she was demanding attention 24/7 from us, or any other english speaking foreigners we met.
She likes to think of herself as some kind of aspiring instathot so this trip to her was just some photoshoot opportunity which I had said multiple times I did not want to be involved with.
Throughout the trip she increasingly got ruder and ruder towards me and my partner, and was acting like a complete ignorant spoilt brat. My grandmother suddenly got sick while I was on the trip and passed away a few days later and this girl still made everything about herself and didn't even bother to check up to see if I was ok.
A few days later, things culminated in her locking my partner and I outside of our accommodation at 4am, in 8 degrees celcius weather for an hour, after my partner called her out on her attention seeking and bratty behavior and she then tried to hit him and screamed in his face in the middle of a busy street earlier that evening. She then went on instagram and posted about us being "boolies" and alcoholics (we were on holiday, drinking normal holiday amounts). Once we were able to finally get inside and grab our things, we left and got our own place but she continued to message me, trying to gaslight me and turn me against my partner, and then after I blocked her, she messaged me on a secret account of hers and continued to bash us on her main profile. That was the last interactions I had with her but I occasionally check her instagram and still see her posting passive aggressive posts alluding to me being an "unsupportive fake friend" (ie. being honest and telling her not to do embarrassing offensive shit in foreign countries)
Anyway, I know it wasn't my fault and at the end of the day, I didn't really do anything wrong, but I still have so much anger about what had happened.
She displays textbook narc symptoms so maybe it's not entirely her fault, but she's literally one of the most evil people I've ever met. If you could lock your friend out in the middle of the night in a foreign country, what the fuck is wrong with you???
Lately in iso I keep thinking about the whole trip and getting so angry about how it turned out and I just want something bad to happen to her in retaliation lol
Sorry for really long rant….
No. 538801
>>538776Patriot Act 2.0 incoming anon, if you already think it’s bad now, think again. It is well known tactic that when the country is busy with a crisis, shit bills get slyly passed, see USA Freedom Reauthorization Act 2020. Even if it doesn’t turn Orwellian right away, things like military-enforced lockdown or restriction on gun sale will set precedents that may be used in
problematic way.
No. 538833
>>538708Thank you so much for replying. She was incredibly important to me and stopped me from caring what other's thought after years of bullying. I think I'll have to message her, it's scary but closure is really needed at this point. Thank you <3
>>538795Ugh I'm sorry anon. The world wasn't made for introverts and I always need to remind myself of this. We aren't defective, we just get worn out easier, socially.
The sting for me was that she was the only friend I needed and had capacity for, and I thought she was the same. We were both shy nerds. But she ended up with so many friends, probably that she liked more than me. I was just one of many many friends and wasn't as loud and fun as everyone else. Sucks
No. 538875
>>535754moved out about a month ago without letting my mother know. She has a mental illness that became unbearable to deal with for me and she is not aware of it in the slightest. I've been dealing with police for her cause she did something irrational or I've had to search for hear in the street at 3am, all that kinda bullshit. My brother is still with her and he won't tell her that I moved and keeps asking to tell her in a call or come visits over the weekends (glad covid is a good excuse not to visit). I'm unable to speak to my mother on the phone, I become speechless when I get confronted with her. As depressing as isolation can get, I cannot handle her company.
I'm also ignoring someone from my university who is supposed to help me with uni work. I regret signing up for this shit. It's not helpful at all and I find that guy working with me to have the personality of a slice of toast. I hate the thought of having to spend an hour with him talking about fuck nothing. Our sessions are almost over but the thought of having to do a session with this person makes me feel despair and irritation each time. This is so unnecessarily mentally draining, I should probably text him that I was to quit.
No. 538879
>>538868Jesus how cruel of them. What even does that lady need the money for? It better be essentials.
Fuck this, you work for yourself, not to pay for the lives of other people and clean their shit.
No. 538895
File: 1586445312966.png (1.67 MB, 1366x768, germany.png)
was watching this video on youtube and this guy is totally my type.
also we're the same age. fuck, i hate guys in my country so much
No. 538899
File: 1586446067422.jpg (52.03 KB, 854x480, Eric.jpg)
This is the man of my dreams btw
No. 538903
File: 1586446270327.jpg (54.09 KB, 854x480, Eric_2.jpg)
No. 538908
File: 1586446760398.jpg (33.98 KB, 500x665, 569857321c4658a617ff8ec5a09d47…)
My dad passed away. It was on may 28th 2019. I was asleep when it happened, my mom and my brother came into my room and i told them I just wanted to sleep. I was surprised that they didn't say anything and actually left the room.
I came downstairs like usual, tried to jumpscare my mom as it's in my my rituals, but when she saw me she broke down and started crying, telling me that I will have to be strong. Didn't take me long to realise what had happened. I've been preparing myself for it ever since I was a child, as he had been battling with cancer before I was even born. Saw him getting strokes after strokes, but always coming out on top and being sassy about it. What a man. A shitty pervert and pathological liar, but still someone I loved dearly.
It was the hardest day, if weeks of my life. I was devastated. Our life had been rough before, my mom had to resort to cocaine and I felt like a useless sack of shit, being a drop out with no degrees and extreme social anxiety, I couldn't help her financially. I wanted to die, but I couldn't do that to her. So i went on.
Our life suddenly started to change after a month. I got therapy, made friends, became popular and even got my first boyfriend, I gained so much confidence and feel like a new person. My mom started out a restaurant, and it's highly successful, we're now living comfortably in a new spacious house- I got a job, I go to parties… I feel happy, truly. I'm glad i stuck through.
there's a lot of things i still need to work on, sure, but I'm proud of what i've become. If I ever get to finish my degree, i'd love to pursue higher education in psychiatry. I want to help others, I really do.
No. 538918
Looks like Charlie Sheen vs Richard Gere lol
>>538895idk man, looks like every ungroomed white guy that you could find everywhere in the west or eastern euro
where do you live?
No. 538943
>>538914alright?
not sure why I'm a crazy retard, but at least I'm working towards something that I'd be proud of, and finally giving back to society. I may be naive, but I'm happy to have a goal nonetheless.
If you're worried about my mental stability and my capabilities to support others, I've never had to take medication and I didn't get anything more than high stress due to my situation at the time- my dad had just died- Something I got therapy on, managed to go through, and fought. It's behind me, and I'm thankful for it. Was that the problem?
No. 538945
>>538943Ignore her Anon, she's a bitch.
Good on you for getting better and good luck.
No. 538983
File: 1586457959843.jpeg (12.27 KB, 314x160, images (3).jpeg)
>>538966They don't hate you, they just don't respect you as an individual. Which is why when you attempt to lay down boundaries ie. "Please don't do that thing that makes me uncomfortable," they get angry since they don't feel like they should adhere to what you want or need. I'm 28 and I still fight those kinds of battles with my parents because I didn't grow a spine against them until my mid 20s. They literally did and said whatever the fuck they wanted to me because, I quote "I'm the adult and you're the child." They hate it now when I tell them not to do something to me. My stepdad reeees and says I'm just like my mother (just to hurt me because she's a bitch and they're divorcing). My mother goes turbo
victim while trying to guilt trip me and then goes hostile when that doesn't work. Back when I lived with my mom temporarily, she used to screech that she was a "prisoner in her own house" even though I never left my room if I wasn't working or visiting friends because of her constantly trying to fight me. She would whine about "walking on eggshells" around me because at 26 years old cause I told her how I don't like being questioned (more like interrogated) about what I ate, where I'd been, or who I'd seen whenever I went out. She'd violate this over and over until one day I'd snap from having to repeat my boundary for the millionth time and that's when she'd get seething angry. It wasn't her business and it still isn't, but that doesn't matter to a parent who sees their adult children as extensions of themselves that they control.
No. 538991
>>538954They pay for the food but only because I don't have a driver license to get to a store and they don't tell me how much it costs nor accept money from me
I pay for her insurance and I got her, for me, so now I feel pretty fed up and don't even feel like spending time with her anymore because I'm so pissed off about them wanting to own her and not letting me be the owner I should be
No. 539091
>>537635you're probably right, overthinking is a constant problem for me lol
>>537685I did when I was younger (I'm 25 now) but looking bad I wonder if it was largely insecurity. My two previous heartbreaks were from people I knew deep down I couldn't be with. My current bf has been nothing but great and I have no fears that he'll flake out on me, which is a great thing of course.
I suspect that the distant nature of the previous guys made me insecure and thus clingy and inclined to romanticize the situation. I need to rewire my brain I'm pretty sure cause obviously that's unhealthy lol
No. 539355
Well it's happened, my stepdad's "essential" job as an electrician finally has his bosses telling him to stay home because he's under contract and the companies are halting projects they don't wanna pay for anymore.
I work mostly remote and was enjoying my space while he was still required to go to work, but not anymore. Now he hogs the living room in our two bedroom apartment, which shares the same kitchen area where I work. He takes the tv so I can't watch anything, and blares the worst midday shows such as that fucking Bar Rescue show with all the contrived drama with a thumb faced, loudmouthed fatass of a host who's constantly shouting at people like he's king all-knowing shit. I wouldn't care as much if dad was actually watching this stupid show but he SLEEPS all day on the couch! I can't make any noise, change the channel, or even get up to turn down the volume without his eyes suddenly peering awake to show his irritation that I live in this space too. He frequently smokes on the patio but leaves the door open which not only blows in humidity and makes the apartment hot, but also inches of tree pollen. He later complains that the apartment is dusty while not being able to comprehend that maybe it's due to the fact that he leaves the door open for several hours every day.
He's getting on my nerves in other ways. When it comes to chores he doesn't do shit, doesn't even put a sheet on his own bed despite being a grown man. The only thing he does consistently is take out the trash after he's let it build up where he coincidentally needs me to help cart it to the dumpster. He can dump his dishes in the sink and occasionally wash a pan he used. I can't even count on him to fully put dishes away from the dishwasher that I loaded because he plays dumb. "Oh I don't know where these things go.." So he leaves pots and pans and bullshit all over the kitchen for me to put away because he can't expend the effort to open the cupboards and look to see where things go like I fucking have to.
Whenever I want to be in the kitchen to cook food he suddenly decides he wants to make something to eat too because he can't wait his turn and gets in my fucking way. Not that he eats anything besides canned soup, sandwiches, pasta, and cereal because he has the palette of an eight year old, and gets pissy when I fix something nice for myself and asks where his is even though he rarely makes a delicious meal just for me (although he does for his creepy girlfriend he's not supposed to be visiting bc of the stay at home order). He leaves his leftovers in the fridge because he's both too guilted to throw them out himself and also too lazy to throw them out and wash the containers. He'll leave something in there for a week untouched and then immediately notices when I cave and throw it out.
I wish I could afford to live alone but nah. I'm always stuck with inconsiderate roommates, my crazy parents, or a bum of a boyfriend. It sucks.
No. 539356
>>539355You just described my dad.
Try having a conversation to set boundaries and rules. I can't with my dad, he's too literally autistic, but I hope a mature conversation is the solution for you anon. I feel for you.
No. 539372
>>539361You just gotta spam a pet that they don't like to send a message. My shitty cousins were similar, always spamming pictures of their ugly mutts and bringing them to every family function where they ruined things because their mutts weren't trained and were spoiled.
I got a pet snake and started to share pictures and bring him with me places. OUT OF NOWHERE my pet, who didn't even make noise or smell, was a problem because they were afraid lmao. It taught them a lesson though, like maybe their aggressive pitbull who drooled and chewed on everything plus their disfigured pug who wheezed every second weren't appreciated either.
No. 539419
>>539414Why are you bringing up dogs lmfao
I asked because I don't know anything about reptiles and I vaguely remembered something about them being scared and uncomfortable when moved or touched by people. I also thought you were carrying your snake like Britney Spears performing I Am A Slave 4 U. Anyway thanks for explaining to me!
No. 539618
>>539609Yeah and admin said ‘another’ implying it’s a frequent thing
>>539586I’m not talking about the overt, cartoonish racism that happens on image boards more generally. It’s hard to expand without racebaiting.
No. 539629
at least they aren't posting child porn this time
>>539615i feel you
No. 539634
File: 1586574406316.gif (2.38 MB, 335x251, InferiorMeagerDowitcher-size_r…)
>>539633lmfao check the pp thread
No. 539642
>>539640This isn't even a radfem board anon. It's a drama board that has a few female oriented boards but it doesn't mean we have subscribe to the exact same cookie cutter beliefs.
>>539641Nice strawman. This board shouldn't be political either way.
No. 539656
>>539646I don't know if admin's some kind of ally who took everything the wrong way, but I'm part of one of the groups mentioned and didn't see anything as bait
The fact that she had to pull up posts from literal weeks ago and couldn't find any that were actually even slightly hostile, but then she went ahead and insisted the thread was full of hostility regardless is so funny to me
No. 539660
>>539656Some of those posts are racebaity and you guys still won't keep your scrote or politics sperging in your containment thread or new website for fucks sake
>>539198Man they corona cancelled just about any graduation in the states too
No. 539670
>>539658This is what I mean. None of those posts are hostile. I guess we're all supposed to be white or LARP as that now. I've seen far more inflammatory posts in other generals threads and nobody cared
>>539660>>539662There's no containment thread anymore since she locked it, but you're right. I'll fuck off to Asherahs Garden to talk about this before she randomly decides to lock this vent thread too
No. 539752
File: 1586607503511.jpeg (40.65 KB, 680x383, C188212A-CD69-4DD7-ABAD-33979F…)
Does anyone have any advice on dealing with loud neighbours, please?
All day long when it's warmer weather, they blast music. Pretty sure I have misophonia to begin with but I just want to be in silence and not be forced to listen to Ed Sheeran. I don't even open my curtains anymore because I want to block out the sound as much as possible, but that means I'm lacking Vitamin D and that always makes my acne worse. My room in the house is kind of the worst placement for wanting to get peace and quiet, because it's right near the backyard where they're playing music and next to the bathroom where we usually have windows open. I don't want to make a noise complaint because I don't want to have to deal with drama and I'm pretty sure my housemates aren't bothered by the noise. I'm goin crazy anon I hate this so much and it's the only thing stopping me from having a comfy quarantine
No. 539754
>>539752Have you tried talking to them? I know they might not be compliant but they probably don’t know that they’re bothering anyone, before you file a formal noise complaint with the police or anything. Just a “hey, would you mind turning down your music a bit? My bedroom borders the backyard and
insert why it bothers you, or if you could make up a white lie about working from home or studying or something. If they’re nice there won’t be any drama!
No. 539764
>>539742This is odd. My brother kind of did the same thing, only we didn't know he got married until the divorce lawyer called us looking for his address.
Every family is different but if they aren't complete assholes that you shouldn't associate with anyway, they'll understand. Be a bit hurt at first, but it will turn into a family joke in given time.
No. 539803
File: 1586624584582.jpg (28.22 KB, 768x431, 1542383727995.jpg)
I'm sick of my younger brother being an unbearable asshole. I wish I could just cut him off for good without my other family members trying to guilt trip me into putting up with him because "we're family". I'm sorry if this is long, I just have a lot to get off my chest.
>always has something negative to say
>whenever I ask if he wants to hangout, play video games, watch a movie, ect. he gets angry and says he's tired or he doesn't have time. Then he turns around and hangs out with his friends, doing the same things he got mad at me for suggesting
>anytime I or our youngest brother is happy or enthusiastic about something like a game or movie, he shits all over it and puts us down for liking it
>speaking of which, has a habit of shitting on things that I like and then later picking it up and acting like he never made fun of me for liking something
>has thrown very personal and hurtful things in my face out of nowhere, like smugly telling me how much our late mother hated me
>When we both got hired for seasonal work at a retail store, he was constantly loudly making rude remarks about customers, co-workers and of course me.
>got mad at me for telling him not to put gift cards in his fucking back pocket (he wasn't stealing, a manager gave us more stuff from the front to put back and he thought it was a good idea to carry them in his pocket for some reason)
>constantly blames me or takes his frustration out on me whenever something goes wrong for him whether it's work or college
There is much more stuff like him constantly leaving sex toy related shit around the house and acting like it isn't a big deal because "dad and [youngest brother] don't know what Bad Dragon is anyway", using gay slang to brag about having sex with his boyfriend to my 14-year-old brother and I, then smugly making fun of us because (before we decided to Google it) we had no idea what he meant, and him and his boyfriend possibly having sex in my FOURTEEN YEAR OLD BROTHER'S BRAND NEW BED, but honestly this post is already too long. The straw that might break the camel's back is my brother refusing to stay home and is still going out to see his boyfriend, still getting fast food, and still going to the store for non essentials like candy (while taking zero safety precautions). He said that it wasn't a big deal and that his boyfriend's mom is a nurse and if she thought anyone in their house was sick, she wouldn't let him in. He ignored me when I told him that people can still be contagious while not showing any symptoms and called me crazy for worrying about the virus to begin with. I'm so tired of his bullshit. Is there anyway I can convince him to stay the fuck home?
No. 539813
>>539803Your brother sounds like a degenerate and I don't think he'll listen to anything reasonable because he's acting like a hormonal, angsty, selfish teenager. Either way his behavior is putting you all in danger at this time, I think it's justified to cut him off.
Maybe write him a letter explaining your reasons and ultimatum just so you can say you warned him? I dunno, he sounds impossible.
No. 539827
>>539811>my mom's last words were that she hates me and i still carry them with me like she said it just nowUnless you did something truly horrible like set a puppy on fire I don't think parents have any rights to say they hate their children just because they're upset. I hate my mom plenty but I'm not such a sociopath to say it to her face knowing how much that hurts people. I just wanted my mom to have the capacity to treat me better, not make her miserable for life. It's a shame that your mom chose to say something that would hurt you, instead of saying something critical yet supportive enough that would resonate with you to become better, not worse.
If you've got nothing to lose, why not strike out and rebuild a new life elsewhere? I don't know how you can have true closure ending things now not knowing for sure if under different circumstances, you could be happy. I know I couldn't die until I tried. /2c
No. 539829
>>539827i come from a middle eastern family and both my parents are very, very religious and very strict about it too. they made me wear a hijab when i was a little kid — until i was in my late teens. they were so controlling aka never eat too much, behave like the perfect housewife, you need to marry a man and have 4 kids like we did, you need to pray every day to god. when i had my period she'd act so disgusted and instead of giving me pads, she'd make me put on some old washed up clothes down there because she believed that pads and tampons would take my virginity. controlled my entire life 24/7. they also believe in arranged marriages (of course) and i couldn't take it anymore because they were dropping hints over this relative my dad knows and that i should meet him, so i called the cps on them and nearly tore the family apart and my siblings taken away. in the end i got beat by them and she threw me out of the house, telling me to never come back and her daughter is dead for her now and she hates me because she took care of me for years and i ended up betraying her love and trust.
i know i might sound like the biggest
victim ever right now my with my sob story but this is how things are. you're free to believe or fuck off and call me a retard
lol.
so of course i am just tired. i seriously don't even feel joy in things anymore. all these years i've been slowly losing interest over things i like and now i am left with nothing but chronic emptiness.
>>539815what makes you think that i haven't tried yet? also therapy is expensive as hell here, back then i had the chance to afford it but now i can't and i don't want to either. and it's not like i can properly talk about my problems irl, i always end up crying and sobbing.
No. 539836
>>539831thank you a lot for your kind words, i appreciate them a lot. i don't want to shit on your kind message either aka
>I think if you have the strength to break away from your family to follow your own path, you can get through this too.but at this point i am just exhausted. but thank you still.
>>539833i wish nothing but the best of luck on you. it pains me that you also have a family with fucked up traditions and beliefs but i also feel a little bit relief that they're not as bad as mine. thank you also for your words and nope, i might be suicidal but i will not listen to some edgelords on an imageboard.
No. 539838
>>539829Yeah your family is nuts, please don't kill yourself because of them. If you lived anywhere else and had any other circumstances you'd probably be very happy and love your life.
I know things seem impossible now but you owe it to yourself to live and at least take a chance. You probably can't escape the situation for at least the next year or so, but what's a year really? Please reconsider and tell yourself that you deserve a happy future. Bide your time.
No. 539844
>>539833>asshole in plural >>539821 is for
>>539815Just to keep things clear. Though should have realised it was a raid.
No. 539876
File: 1586641409791.jpeg (315.33 KB, 750x764, 3E0A7484-08B2-40FA-AA62-45CDD7…)
>proceeds to write my partner a long text about how much i love him, how he will succeed in life because he is so smart and has good grades, how he should stop doubting himself
>"umm okay anon.."
>now feels stupid and embarrassed
>wasn't expecting that reaction at all
No. 539878
File: 1586642009193.jpg (645.41 KB, 1774x1774, IMG_5440.JPG)
I'm desperately trying to fight off getting a UTI during quarantine cause I don't want to have to go out to go to a clinic and I found some 2 years expired antibiotics in the back of the medicine cabinet so if I die I die
No. 539892
File: 1586643032321.jpg (6.07 KB, 193x197, 1553219068239.jpg)
>hurt that things didn't work out with the guy I really liked and that I had to block him on everything
>still anxious from experiencing an earthquake a few weeks ago that I thought was going to kill me and my family, with aftershocks sustaining that fear
>coronavirus pandemic and fear mongering hanging over my head almost constantly because I'm quarantining with my mom and it's all she talks about sometimes and she insists on keeping the news on the tv far too frequently for my liking
>still have to work, don't know if I want to keep my job since it's too risky
>feeling stressed and I don't really have anyone I can depend on to listen to me
>want to give online therapy a try but am worried the sessions will just be empty, hollow, and easily passed off because i'm not sure i have it in me to talk
No. 539897
File: 1586644088040.jpg (177.45 KB, 1500x1322, EVLV0P8UcAUShr0.jpg)
>>539868I'd agree but only on what your definition of shotacon is
lmao
No. 539911
File: 1586645513574.jpg (71.87 KB, 719x1186, spook.jpg)
My roommate is so nippy and frugal around money, im fine when its with his own money but recently hes been doing it with me. I went to get groceries to stock up on and I decided to get some hair-dye because why not, its fun and I wanted to change up my look. Cost around $20, no biggie I have the money for it. I got back and was un-packing the groceries and he sees me pull out the hair-dye and starts going off on me about how im wasting my money and that I should be saving up, calling me irresponsible and retarded. I didn't want to start a fight so I just said "Ok then". But man i'm so pissed, hes been so controlling over everything in the apartment, can't use the stove for long,can't have longer than a 15 min shower, can't keep the lights on for a certain length of time just so we can save on bills.The thing is we aren't tight on money at all we both make enough to afford this place with some money left over. I was alright with it for a bit because I like the thought of saving some cash but fuck, I can't even spend 20 fucking dollars of MY money on some hair-dye. Mmmm im just glad I move out when I start my uni course.
No. 539971
>>539911This sounds borderline
abusive, he shouldn't be controlling your showers, cooking, what you spend your own money on. I feel bad for anyone who ends up in a relationship with him.
No. 539991
File: 1586655445796.jpg (22.18 KB, 480x480, 0f6.jpg)
The last thing I fucking need right now is all of my family members constantly pointing out my weight gain as if I'm blind and retarded and can't notice that I look like a fucking bloated whale. Please stop fucking bringing it up because I'm already miserable and barely leave my room as much as possible and wear baggy clothes because my appearance disgusts me so much that I can't even let myself be comfortable in my own house. I know I gained weight and I know it's clearly visible to others and I'm fucking trying to lose it, I'm trying to cut back on what I eat but weight loss takes time and all that fat doesn't magically disappear overnight after eating a salad once. I just want to be left the fuck alone.
No. 540033
>>539829>>540029My family is very religious and traditional too. They know I'm not religious and I am allowed to sort of avoid them but certain events will prompt my dad to go full fundamentalist sometimes. I can go out as I please but I will get slutshamed on a daily basis and have my dad telling me not to get pregnant or be low value. I was taken to a gyno over using tampons because my dad accused me of having sex. When I was younger my family attempted to perform a exorcism on me when I was 14 over nothing really. I ended up escaping and calling the police but they just told me my family was only worried about me. They had a PET team evaluate me and I was sent back home. It's a very
toxic and highly superstitious dynamic. When someone in our family was assaulted I was told she deserved it. I feel very ashamed of my family and I have always longed for the supportive families I see other people have. I was supposed to graduate this year but I don't think anyone would have come anyways so it's for the best that the pandemic had canceled things.
I just want to say I know my story might be different but you guys aren't alone.
No. 540069
File: 1586681291953.png (122.14 KB, 229x216, 67c.png)
I thought this Facebook border you add to your profile pic was funny. It makes you look like you're holding up a Lysol can. You know, ha ha covid related. Except upon further inspection it's a man hand holding the can and the nails are gross. Hangnails blegh. I'm not putting that gross shit on my picture. How dare they.
No. 540090
File: 1586690536705.jpeg (619.83 KB, 1536x842, 4FFCBED3-CFDC-4169-9A48-351DCB…)
>Cabin Fever making the already abusive and unstable people at home constantly fight eachother.
>Done nothing for college, probably going to blitz everything last minute again.
>Horny as fuck but I can’t have my boyfriend here, my meat is on suicide watch.
>I get Seasonal Depression around this time of year because the tism’ makes me sensitive to sunlight. I’ve been trying to compensate for this by going nocturnal.
>More flashbacks than ever, they constantly hit me throughout the day but I can’t go back to therapy or attempt to claim disability benefits.
Shiiiiiiiiet.
No. 540108
>>540097To make you feel this way. Insecure, but wrong for feeling insecure.
"I like your breasts" would've sufficed, but he decided to take it in a direction that reminded you of what you don't like, and added a time limit for the compliment ("today" lmao) so you'd still be in doubt, anyway. It's not like smell or hair, which can vary day by day like a bad hair day or a new perfume. Breasts don't have "perky" days and "saggy" days.
It sounds like negging to me.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negging No. 540123
>>540120Yeah, kind of hard to move out during lockdown, I had my shit ready to go and was going to move across country to live with my elderly mother. Can't do that now, just counting the fucking days. He also has been becoming violent and physically
abusive, believe me I want to leave as soon as possible.
No. 540151
>>540029I felt the same as you about my hyper-religious mother. Now she doesn't even blink anymore when I don't pray when we're eating or whatever. I feel like she's given up on me for the most important thing in her life, even though I don't believe god exists. This is super hypocritical of me considering how annoyed I always was with trying to "save" me.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, you have parents that are genuinely concerned with your wellbeing after this life and they're not giving up on you and I think that's still a beautiful thing
No. 540187
>>540175I'm like you. I'm so forgetful and just generally all over the place. It's gotten really worse over the years.
Do you have depression, anon?
No. 540188
>>540180Yes anon, because everyone perceives you in a low quality bitrate and video compression.
How can someone so vain and retarded?
No. 540199
File: 1586719394779.jpg (27.16 KB, 720x833, 1585051605509.jpg)
My stepdad can be a real nasty piece of work and living with him is so aggravating. If I had the nerve to be as mean, snappy, and aggressive to him as he is to me I'd never hear the end of it. Every holiday the dinner has to become an issue, because god forbid he doesn't get his way. He doesn't like grocery shopping, cooking, or really even food so why he doesn't leave things completely up to me? Idk, maybe he loves drama and likes feeling in charge despite knowing fuck all.
He went shopping for easter dinner without me. He snuck out early this morning before I left my room. This is the third holiday I've lived with him where he's pulled this stunt. I wouldn't care except he always forgets shit and then gets mad because he doesn't cook and hates it. I won't even touch how he's not supposed to be going out because of covid, but apparently he wanted to make multiple stops including one to his girlfriend this morning to give her goodies (she has a fuckton of kids and I disagree with him making visits right now). Even though I often pay for groceries he doesn't like me going because he wants only plain food. My absence ensures there's nothing "crazy" (aka healthy and flavorful) because all he wants is a plain baked potato and plain baked ham.
K fine. So he bought pineapple rings, cherries, and glaze to put on the ham. I showed him cloves that he could stick in as well, but then it hit me: "Stepdad, did you get toothpicks for your pineapple rings?" He proceeds to throw an annoyed tantrum because of course he forgot toothpicks. He never makes food so he doesn't know what he needed to prepare it. He had to go to the store again (helloooooooo covid) just for those. When he returned he said how he wanted a dry rub for the ham, much to my shock. So I whipped together a small mix of brown sugar, pepper, five spice, cinnamon, onion powder, and cardamom. It smelled super good.
Anyway he was hogging the kitchen so I left him to it. Before he sticks the pineapple and cherries on the ham, I see him reach for the glaze. I asked him if he was going to put the pineapples on first? He snapped at me and got all huffy because how DARE I ask a question about his method. The reason I said anything is because glazing before the fruit is attached is just going to cause the dry rub to run off because glaze is a liquid. If he put the fruit on first it would help hold the glaze and dry rub on the ham.
I can't believe his anger at me sometimes, for the slightest of slights if you can even call what I asked '"slighting." I'm so sick of his anger towards me, for no good reason at all except that apparently I don't do and say the right things. Maybe I remind him of mom and don't kiss his ass enough? Who knows.
No. 540250
File: 1586730573094.jpeg (344.77 KB, 625x889, F5664C74-8B04-4B20-A144-E7D607…)
Sorry if this seems kinda pp but this shit is getting out of hand and the thread is locked I just had to share this. Anti porn or not, you guys gotta admit it’s getting out of hand
No. 540269
>>540250This is vile.
Another thing, the reasoning locking for the pink pill thread is bullshit.
No. 540276
File: 1586735131877.jpg (113.05 KB, 1280x1254, 364736478343843.jpg)
>>540250Honest to god wish there was a way to simultaneously push everyone who participates in ageplay off a cliff. Disgusting.
No. 540294
File: 1586737941126.jpg (242.25 KB, 720x701, 20200412_173103.jpg)
>>540250Even men are starting to point out how weird this shit is.
No. 540305
I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for a little over two years. There was a six month period where we had been broken up because the first time around he was so fucking toxic and neglectful and it was like subjecting myself to torture every day. He acted like your average annoying, misogynistic pseudo-intellectual debatebro “meme” loser and never listened to me, or came to see me. He belittled me often, and is not a very good communicator and really doesn’t respond if you’re talking about something he doesn’t want to talk about, so it was hard to make plans or keep him engaged. Those six months were amazing for me, and I met a guy who I kind of started to be FWB with occasionally. He wanted to get serious with me. September rolls around, my ex and I reconnect and something about him feels better and different, he apologized for things and promised to change and obviously my fwb ends. For the eight months after that it was pretty alright and good at times, and it seemed like he was changing for awhile, but late feb/early March and into quarantine I’m kind of starting to feel tired of him again. It seems he’s reverting to the inappropriate silence from before, and me having this sinking feeling he isn’t going to fulfill any plans we made for holiday. He doesn’t text back and frankly it’s exhausting. When I try to talk it seems like he just isn’t there, not because he isn’t interested in me but because of immaturity. I’m not even sad, it’s just annoying as fuck at this point. But he’s the only male that I can tolerate for more than an hour, and we’ve made this bond from being together for so long and when he does respond, or when he does do little things it makes me feel all happy again. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about my FWB again, even though he’s dumb as fuck but he’s way more open and I feel like he would provide for me more if we got actually serious like he wanted to be with me, but that could just be fantasy and lust. Basically I feel unfulfilled in my current relationship, but I’m not sure if it’s something he could fix with just a little more patience from me, or if waiting is a waste of my time and I should just move on and do whatever the fuck i want and ignore feeling lonely. Just wanted to vent about my relationship problems.
No. 540334
I'm like severely depressed right now. Yesterday I found out my cousin passed away from covid while at my bf's house. My parents had been calling me non stop so I put my phone on dnd because I couldn't really emotionally handle anything. My bf saw that and thought I got a text message that I was hiding from him and started getting aggressive about seeing my phone to see who'd text me so late. I was really emotional and my anxiety was high as hell so I said no, and he basically broke it off with me because I didn't want him to see my phone. When I tried to explain to him and show him I didn't get any text message (the notifications he saw were emails, there were time stamps to even prove it) he didn't care, thought I lied, and the fact I didn't 'show him right away' gave him bad feelings.
Now I'm so sad because he broke up with me, and I'm completely alone mourning my cousin. I literally have no energy to sit, or move, or anything at all but sleep and feel like shit. Mean while, my boyfriend is telling me things like I'm a curse, talking about other girls, and just a bunch of subtle jabs at me as I'm like this…
No. 540343
>>540334Sorry for your loss anon, I can only imagine how shitty you feel right now.
Your ex sounds psychotically jealous and completely lacking in empathy. I'm not sure if you're still at his house but if not, block and delete him on everything, don't read or respond to anything he says. If you're with him, go grey rock and still don't respond. He's trying to goad you into reacting by saying nasty shit, pathetic.
No. 540358
>>540355anon I also am in a similar boat. My family isn't the type to say 'I love you' or anything, and my dad recently had cancer. He was always physically
abusive when I was young, so I always really disliked my dad growing up. Now we're older, and I live on my own and he's sick, I feel really guilty for hating him growing up. I still haven't worked up to the courage to say I love him, but I feel constantly guilty and weird about it. You're not alone, and it's hard to see anything positive when you feel this low and nothing is right but I PROMISE you you have some small things going on that's been good. Hold on to those small things for your sanity, because that's what I'm doing, and it's way harder to do than say it trust me, but things WILL pass, and it WILL get better.
No. 540382
>>540379lmao seriously? That girl, Belle and to a lesser extent Shoe, are all very pretty, far above average and don't have 'donkey faces'.
I get that they're annoying but being so hyperbolic about their looks just makes it sound like a jealous cope. Male attention isn't a prize and pickmes always lose in the end, we don't have to act like they're mediocre looking too.
No. 540403
File: 1586772191319.png (494.17 KB, 749x630, Screenshot 2020-04-13 at 11.02…)
so, im looking at property and i see an unconventional but also very nice and considerable 1 bed, 350sq ft bungalow on the cusp of the london m25 going for only £100k. thinking that's a splendid deal, and wondering what the catch is, i find it.
to be considered as a buyer you must not only be approved by a nudist council and also pay £237 'ground rent' , despite paying to own the bloody thing. uk property is a shitshow and i deeply regret being born here.
jokes aside i pray that the housing market crashes and that the young, underpaid people who are the backbone of this deeply twisted, oligarchal country are able to reclaim whats theirs. i say, keep the rent strike forever. they cant kick us all out.
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-67883820.html No. 540404
>>540399Samefagging, but now I can't stop the tears again.
Is it selfish for me to wish she never followed her dreams in nursing?
No. 540405
>>540393Anon are you attending any therapy/counselling for your addiction? Quitting alone is super hard and super scary so if you are able to I'd recommend it!
As someone who went into outpatient rehab here are some tips I got from my therapist that might hopefully help in your sobriety.
During an emergency where I'm likely to relapse I try to write down my feelings, how strong the urge is and if it passes write what helped to calm down the urges. I also try to remove myself from the situation, like taking a walk or doing a fun hobby.
But the best words of advice I got from my therapist was "a relapse isn't when you take a drug/start drinking. It happens way earlier than that", basically take measures to limit yourself to these potentially
triggering situations. Have a talk with your BF, explain how hard it is for you to see him drink around you. He doesn't need to stop drinking, but he could limit himself to bars with his friends, or maybe give you extra emotional support if he were to drink with you. Talking, and having a solid support system is crucial to managing an addiction.
Sorry if this is a bit rambling, english is not my first language.
No. 540408
>>540393You need to tell him and he needs to not drink around you when it is negatively impacting your recovery. He needs to support you in this time - I'm assuming you're partially recovering for him when you say you won't drink because he'll be annoyed and make you sleep elsewhere? If that's the case, he should be helping you with your sobriety, not drinking alone in another room and (sorry to use this phrase)
triggering you.
No. 540488
File: 1586796792053.jpg (22.24 KB, 530x390, 1583804790636.jpg)
I have yet to see a single source that backs the claim that "schools are failing boys" and that's why girls are doing better at school. The rise of neckbeard NEETs tells me that the problem starts with the failings of their parents.
No. 540511
>>540497I'm sorry, anon. You're doing all that you (legally) can to help, even if it feels like nothing is happening right now.
Assholes like that always get theirs in the end. Something's got to give.
No. 540523
File: 1586805128754.jpg (27.56 KB, 400x413, 1475980412815.jpg)
I wish I could cut all my hair and walk around with a buzzcut and look good while doing so. I'm so sick of my hair. It's not even long to begin with, just reaches my shoulders but it gets greasy so fast. I could take a normal shower and the next day it'd be already greasy as hell and it's so tiring because it leads to me taking a shower every day despite reading online that it's not healthy for the hair. Ugh, I envy girls with buzzcuts so much because they're all so beautiful. Even if I had one, I'd look so weird and my face shape isn't the prettiest either so sucks to be me.
I also always sweat too much and even when I don't feel hot to begin with. I could sit in a room with running air conditioner and still sweat because my armpits are fucked up. I heard that getting botox in there helps but I don't know if I have the money and patience to do that (+ it also apparently hurts a lot). Seriously cannot even wear the same sweater or shirt for more than a day without it getting soaked in sweat under the armpits and smelling awful. I do use deodorant and all the necessities to tone down the smell, but it's very exhausting.
Another thing is that I have natural pitch black hair so body hair is an absolute nightmare for me because it's just everywhere. It doesn't even matter if I wax or epilate or shave, it always grows out worse than before. It even had me cancelling my hookups at the last minute out of insecurity and fear of disgust.
Why is my body this way? Have no idea but I hate it so much.
No. 540550
File: 1586810279601.png (42.87 KB, 787x455, yk4wgydyfpv01.png)
>ground up the last of my weed
>intended to take a couple month's break after this
>but I dropped the grinder
>the weed bits got into the carpet
No. 540553
>>540523>>540538I can relate to this 100%! I usually soak the affected shirts' underarms in alcohol (or spray handsanitizer on them). This helps neutralizing the bacteria that causes the odor.
The question about PCOS got me thinking…can one have PCOS without cysts?? I looked up the symptoms and I have some of them (irregular period, hair loss, sweating), but I have no cysts.
No. 540582
File: 1586813942391.jpg (226.7 KB, 800x976, retail-noisy-loud_noise-quiet-…)
spergy vent incoming sorry, just pissed off about my neighbour during this pandemic. was gonna post in the covid 19 thread but this is a rant
I am honestly so annoyed with him. he moved in early february and has been a pain right from the start. he slams his fucking door every time he leaves the house, scaring the shit out of me. I think he had corona cause he isolated himself a few weeks back and was coughing a ton, but had people coming around to his house constantly. I can understand a family member bringing food but these were random people, around 5 at least every day. lots of young guys on their own, going in the house and then leaving anywhere from 2-10 minutes later. figured he must be a drug dealer. all this time while probably having the virus. so stupid
in the past 2 weeks there's been 2 occasions where he's been playing loud music until gone 3.30 in the morning with around 3 other people/guests in the house. 3 men left at 3.45 ish this morning and we're loud as fuck while doing so. my mum had work today since she cares for the elderly, I guess he assumed no one would be at work today since it was easter monday.
the first time he was playing loud music he was asked politely to turn it down (this was about 1.30 am) and the music volume lowered for about 10 minutes before being turned up again
I don't know how long he's planning to stay since this house is owned by his dad. honestly thought he'd just been placed here while he was quarantining himself but I think he'll at least be here for a X amount of months we have to be in lockdown, if not for good. I don't want to deal with these late nights of loud music.
he shouldn't be having people around to his house whatsoever and it's fucking annoying how he's got people coming and going like this. can people just follow the rules and stop being fucking selfish?
No. 540593
>>540582I retaliated against my neighbour (after exhausting all legal and tenant/landlord board options, which act very slowly) and bought a concert-grade bass amplifier. There is no speaker sold at any tech store that can overpower my amp at 40% volume. I played 40+ hours of live improvisation music and exploratory jazz STRAIGHT. Did not sleep, did not leave my house. He tried to overpower it twice before leaving his home, (coughing up a storm, obviously) and never playing music again.
I keep it just in case he feels brave again, but he realized pretty quickly that he'll either have to spend money to be outrageous with me, or just shut the fuck up and we both be quiet.
I really recommend being an asshole if your by-laws in your city are closed, or if your landlord is a lazy cunt.
No. 540603
File: 1586817460286.jpg (45.42 KB, 400x400, 1586120992779.jpg)
>>540593I love you anon.
Fuck these retarded apes who have no sense of common decency or self awareness.
No. 540619
>>540616>you people never screech about that being too early to know you're hetero or cisI'm bisexual myself you clown.
Also,
>or cisAm I supposed to support some 12 year old who thinks she's "female aligned nonbinary" or what? No thanks.
>>540615You also have a
point with the "You wouldn’t question a 12 year old saying they’re straight" but her being "she/they" just pretty much tells me she's doing it for the tumblr politics and how ~woke~ it is now that every second person on the web is either bisexual or transgender. These identity/sexuality people had me brainwashed into thinking I was some genderfluid faggot when I was her age (around 13) so I know exactly what I am talking about. Also, have you even seen how many young children are out there either identifying as "asexual" or "pansexual" and all that shit? This is literally the same. Watch her develop from bisexual to ~grey ace pansexual~ in the span of 2 years. Cannot wait!
No. 540674
File: 1586828198105.png (197.65 KB, 498x334, 77568762.png)
>>540565My name is Morgana and I always thought my name was cute and life was fine until that stupid fucking weeb game with the retard cat came out.
No. 540691
>>540687Are you aware on the site we are on? This is literally the least place where you can complain over a bunch of meanies not treating twannies right!!11!1
If you were on Twitter or Crystal Cafe or anything, then yeah sure, but we are not.
No. 540740
>>540739I know this is going to sound like an empty platitude, and the person who you had your first sexual experience with sounds awful and I think how you feel is totally understandable and
valid - but theres so much more to people than just their body and there are honestly men who would love you for who you are and won't care about how your genitals look. A close friend of mine suffered from vaginismus and considers herself cured and has had no further problems (she did this through dilating and it happened relatively quickly, within a few months). I really hope you don't kill yourself, and are able to feel more comfortable within yourself somehow bc like you said it's no way to live, and I'm sorry you've had to go through what you have
No. 540744
>>540739There is more to life than what men think of you, and it is worth living even without sex or relationships. Why couldn't it get better? What about friends, hobbies, your career, learning new things, pets, etc… don't you want anything other than a boyfriend? God knows society wants us to feel like we're worthless if we aren't attractive and don't get married/have kids, so I can't blame you for feeling that way, but that's not our reality if we don't let it be. Reality is that we have value whether men want to fuck us or not, and we can have full lives without them.
I'm celibate and will probably never have a serious relationship, I don't feel like I'm missing out on much. In fact I feel like I've dodged a bullet.
No. 540754
>>540621>Your experience is your experience but it’s unfair to project it onto some random 12 year old and dishonest and honestly homophobic to act as if there’s a bunch of gay people trying to ‘brainwash’ 12 year olds into thinking they’re gay or bi or whatever. This this this. My bf's cousin is lesbian and we all knew since she was 10 or 11, even when I guess she didn't. She had the biggest crush on all these girl friends and kept talking about them non stop, I know that doesn't have to mean anything but it was a high possibility and know that she's 18 and in her first relationship…confirmed.
Anon just sounds
triggered because maybe she discovered her sexuality a little bit late and doesn't want people who's insecure to claim things they don’t are. Again, everyone’s experience is different and she shouldn’t judge generalise.
No. 540764
File: 1586850833830.jpg (18.85 KB, 347x313, neae6z.jpg)
Me: Calmly tells my mom that her never saying she loved me growing up and also not controlling my online and video game usage or checking to make sure I was doing my homework really fucked me up emotionally both then and now in my adulthood
Mom: Ok but did I hit or starve you?
No. 540771
>>540619Whereas I believe that you can know if you're straight or not at 12 because I sure enough knew I was a big fat lesbo at that age (and this was way before Tumblr or social media because I'm old), you do have a point. I don't mind a 12-year old experimenting with their sexuality and claiming to be bi/gay and then growing up to be straight, but due to the presence of online communities there is a real danger of people grooming kids to buy into the darker side of the "queer" community as they're much more likely to be desperate for support than their heterosexual peers and there are a lot of people willing to abuse that opportunity. Plenty of young gay boys end up being exploited by older predatory men because they're the only ones willing to validate their sexuality, and a lot of young trans-identifying girls end up being abused by men who know how tender and hungry for attention they are. It's interfering with their personal growth and exploration because they're not allowing options to try out, they're straight out indoctrinating young people into an ideology where hating your new puberty-ridden body means you're experiencing gender dysphoria and having a best friend of the same gender is proof that you're gay.
During my teen years (mid 2000s) being bi was the trendy identity of the period but you weren't pressured into it or forced to commit to the lifestyle in the same way identity politics play out today. Social media makes the experience much more intense and immersive because you find your peers there and end up being isolated from everyone else, left without the experience of actually meeting new people and ideals. You don't get to experiment in an open world and end up living your teen years in a cult being bombarded with brainwashing. What's also really worrying me is that it's an ample opportunity for all the munchie parents to wear their queer-identifying kids as accessories. Adults shouldn't interfere with kids trying to figure their sexuality out, period. No matter if it's a bible-thumping conservative redneck trying to pray the gay away or an ultra-progressive hipster parent carrying a "My 3-year old is gay and trans and I'm proud" sign at a pride parade.
12-year olds identifying as "asexuals" is fucking baffling to me though. You aren't supposed to have sexual experiences at that age to begin with. What the hell.
No. 540772
>>540762Often the "I can eat whatever I want and stay skinny tee hee" people overestimate the amount of food they actually eat. They might gobble down only 1300kcal worth of food each day and still think it's worth of 2000kcal. Genetics play some sort of a role when it comes to fat distribution and metabolics (gene RCAN1) but I think it's usually just about the diet.
What is your goal though, 1200 seems ridiculously small. Are you like 5ft aiming for a weight of 80 pounds or something because that sounds like ana-chan goals.
No. 540773
>>540769Fair enough, maybe check other calculators because I find that some lowball it and results vary. And a little bit of exercise would most likely bring it up to a tolerable intake.
The numbers might be right though because dieting as a woman honestly fucking sucks, esp for short girls or when you're thin enough to have a low BMR. Our energy consumption is way too low for standard portions and meals, you get no flexibility or wiggle room the way men do when they diet.
No. 540802
>>540799NTA but pretty sure 1200 is just an arbitrary, random number that has become commonly accepted as fact with no real basis, it's one of those diet myths like 'starvation mode'.
The fact is that very short people have low energy expenditure because that's all they need, and a caloric deficit has to correspond with that. To use an extreme example - little people/dwarfs/etc can only eat about half the average intake to maintain a normal weight, and to lose weight they would have to go on a very low calorie diet. It's way too simplistic to say 1200 is the lower limit for absolutely everyone. It's not exactly practical but that doesn't mean it's not enough food if you're tiny and not very active.
No. 540812
File: 1586864589940.gif (80.87 KB, 500x479, bf85267bf76b59362c81266cd252c8…)
I had a friend call me fake bisexual, well more specifically party bisexual, a few months ago and its still hammering in my head, Im still struggling to figure out my sexuality and that hurt so much it even put me off from enjoying fxf content because I just feel this dark pit in my chest like im doing something i shouldn't do.
I don't date women because my parents are too backwards to even understand the concept of bisexuality (no seriously for them either you're straight or gay), and would disown me for being gay, on top of that I just think it wouldn't be fair to force a girl I like into a secret relationship for the sake of my pleasure, so I stick to commitless party make outs.
No. 540817
>>540812Your "friend" is a little shit, you don't owe anyone explanations about your sexuality, who the fuck cares. And I'm sorry, but this person probably knows your parents and knows they're homophobic so judging you for not dating women is even shittier.
Seriously,
who cares if you choose to date men or women. Even if your parents weren't homophobic it'd still be a perfectly
valid choice. I'm bi but I don't date men because I don't like them generally and they tend to make me feel like garbage, does that make me a lesbian? No. Your sexual orientation is about you and only you.
No. 540818
>>540816Nta, but she didn't say "partly" bisexual, she said
>PARTY bisexual Which sounds extremely fun to be.
God, I want to go to a party and just touch and hug and smooch everyone there, I can't stand this isolation anymore aaaaaaaa
No. 540832
>>540818God yes.
When this is all over I want to organize a bi party.
No. 540846
File: 1586874164789.jpg (41.37 KB, 820x490, rilakkuma-hello-kitty-bear-san…)
I have really fallen for this guy , he's really cute has never made me feel uncomfortable.
Three days ago he texted me that he has to go back to japan the next day.
I cried the whole day then he called me at 11 pm and said he didn't have to go back till next year.
We went on another date today and he told me he had some bad new that he has to leave this friday.
He has to go back to school in japan or he might not get another chance.
I was silently crying through dinner and the walk we went on after.
I feel very sad and exhausted , fuck the japanese government
No. 540848
Since I've moved in with my boyfriend two years ago we've had our upstairs neighbour bother us, and it's gotten worse in the past few months. We live in a ground floor flat while he lives in an apartment building next door, and his flat is right above ours.
At the beginning he'd only knock on our door and say he's searching for the neighbours that have been making noise and waking him up at night, he'd try to look into the flat but he wasn't aggressive; I figured from his weird attitude that he might be a junkie looking for a fix (we have a lot of those here). We knew for a fact we weren't making the noise he complained about (he said they bang on the ceiling, but our ceiling is too high for us to possibly reach; we also know we don't put music on speakers or yell like he mentions, we try hard to be quiet), so we thought he was lying and had other motives, but we weren't too concerned.
Recently though he's done some frightening stuff, and we had to call the police. Months ago he came in the early evening when I was alone and stood outside for ten whole minutes, knocking on all our windows and our front door so hard the walls were shaking.
Then weeks after he came when both of us were here and my boyfriend decided to open the door. The neighbour started shouting about how he "knows we're doing this on purpose", calling us bastards, saying we stay up all night just to keep him awake. When my boyfriend tried to close the door, he punched it open. I intervened and told him I'd call the police if he didn't leave or at least stop yelling, told him he was being rude, and somehow that changed his whole demeanour, he suddenly calmed down, apologised and left.
We talked to the police the next day, detailed all our encounters with him and they suggested he might not be mentally stable, and that we should just ignore him. They didn't think him punching the door was a big deal or counted as being aggressive, either.
We've ignored him, but with everything being locked down, he's gotten worse. Last week-end he woke us up by chanting the word "neighbour" repeatedly, right in front of our window. I heard someone ask him what he was doing and he explained some "bastards have been doing this to him, going out at night to yell and keep him awake, so he's doing this now to check whether it's us or not". Then he banged on our other next door neighbour's door and I heard him ask her whether our bedroom window was part of her flat, she said no, he left. He banged on our door and went back into his building.
Now everyday he's been banging on either his floor or furniture for hours. I have no clue if he's doing this on purpose or not, but it's hard to ignore it when I'm so worried over this. When we go out for groceries I'm always scared we'll encounter him, and that without a door between us, he'll punch me or my boyfriend instead.
When I tell people about this they express compassion for him and tell me I should understand that he probably has untreated schizophrenia, has terrible delusions and can't help being aggressive. Rationally I understand having delusions must be terrifying, but I'm angry my worries aren't being taken seriously. Ignoring him doesn't work, he's only getting angrier and I fear he'll try to break in or attack us outside. We'd like to move out some time this year but because of the virus, that's unlikely to happen. Pepper spray is illegal to carry here, so there's absolutely nothing I can do.
No. 540855
>>540846These sound like very obvious lies,
>next day>next year>next weekHe may need to go to Japan but any real plans will not change so wildly in 24hr.
No. 540860
>>540812I mean it does sound like you're a party bisexual if you're only bisexual at parties?
Most relationships are secret anyway with online communication. It would be pretty easy to make a new female "friend" and meet up with them often without your parents suspecting anything.
No. 540867
>>540772this, plus a lot of naturally skinny people have a smaller appetite. I know a lot of people who eat whatever they want and stay skinny and they usually just
feel like they're eating a lot because they're able to eat until they're full every time they eat, because it doesn't take much food to satisfy them.
No. 540868
>>540860Im in my mid twenties anon so an actual relationship would entail more than just meeting up occasionally, i already have marriage and moving in together in mind as goals.
Would be quite strange to have a gal pal roommate and suspiciously no boyfriend until the day my parents my die, they are homophobic no stupid lol they would realize im dating a woman.
No. 540895
File: 1586883714128.gif (3.13 MB, 320x234, EDEFCA27-C675-4099-8609-3885DC…)
I’m pretty unhappy with the degree im studying in university and I dont know what to do. I’m studying German Studies, and while i have always wanted to learn german I feel like I’ve learnt WAY more on my own than going to class. On top of that, most of the stuff I have to study I’m not even interested in, my teachers suck, and last semester I failed almost all my exams.
With the whole quarantine thing it’s just gonna get worse for me. I can’t study at home, I can’t motivate myself to attend any online classes and the way my uni is handling the situation is just… a mess. My grades aren’t going to get any better, just worse.
So here’s my dilema: I don’t wanna drop out, but I also don’t know what exactly I want to study. I’ve thought about doing English Studies, since, at least, I’m fluent and I will be able to follow the classes lol
The problem is that I don’t know what’s the process I have to take, I can’t find any info online and my uni is closed so I can’t even call.
Anyway, my other option is to just drop out, become a hermit in some obscure forest and survive by eating random berries and mushrooms I find.
No. 540924
>>540895Thing is, if life has taught me something is that, while a degree doesnt mean you absolutely know your shit, its a legal document to back up your knowledge.
Maybe the process of obtaining the german studies degree isn't so pleasant, but we all go through shit just to obtain a dumb piece of paper so we dont end up in the lower economy tiers. (Electromechanical engineer here, most people whom I graduated with didnt learn shit, but since they have the degree they're in decent job positions).
imho, its sounds like you want to take the "easy" way out by doing English studies, but wouldnt you end up frustrated with it too since the only real passion you have for it is based on being fluent? Maybe do some actual research before picking up another degree that you will end up dropping because of not knowing the program you actually have to follow.
No. 540934
I forgot to mention that my only way to keep studying is by getting scholarships, which you only get by passing passing 90% of the credits, so yeah, if I do end up changing my degree I would be taking the easy route. I’m currently on my 2nd year, on the 3rd year we will be taking all of our classes in german, and I’m 100% not ready for that. I can’t be wasting my money like this.
Me being fluent in English isn’t really the only reason why I would choose that degree. I know that what I want to study is languages, it’s what I’m good at. I just choose the wrong degree because I trusted what it said on my uni’s website about how it doesn’t matter if you have never studied that language before, when teachers expect the students to, at least, have an A2. Most people that take this degree end up dropping out too, if that gives you an idea of how badly it is structured.
No. 540942
I was always afraid of making friendship because I was introverted and avoidant all my life, I also have social anxiety. I didn't make friendship because most of my life I thought that my anxiety and weirdness would scare people off.
It would be a problem for you if your friend would be struggling with mental issues but you would get along nicely (and she wouldn't be toxic)?
I was always scared of it, all my life, that I would be uninteresting/weird as a friend/human begin.
Also, what are good qualities that a friend should have? I know it's a common knowledge but I'm a retard plus I feel I need guidance.
I scared off some people not because of weirdness but because of some emotional problems. I did some research and self-helping methods and I relaized a lot in these months, where I made mistakes. I was too emotional and tend to behave like a victim instead just talk honestly how I feel. That lack of honest, me not being open is where I made mistakes, and I regret it very deeply.
I want to befriend people again but I don't know what to do, idk if I should try because I REALLY don't want to hurt anyone but without making a friendships I won't be able to work properly on it.
I was in some group therapies. They were shit, only one or two people talked and rest just listen.
What should I do? I'm open for any suggestions.
I didn't really mean to hurt anyone, it was my foolishness and I regret it deeply. I want to be better.
(I posted it here because is half a vent and half asking for advices)
No. 540943
File: 1586893239549.png (260.22 KB, 671x377, 1583951549955.png)
Because of corona I've been unable to take my dog out as often and for as long as I'd like to. He can sense the anxiety I have and because he's not getting the energy out he's barking up a storm recently. I'm trying everything but it's always 2 steps forward 3 steps back with him and it's making me more anxious because the neighbors have stopped by to ask us to shut the dog up. It's also super frustrating because my ex is waiting for me to move out (I'm trying to as quickly as possible but it's kind of hard in this environment right now, but dipshit doesn't get it despite being almost middle aged) and is unwilling to help train him and is basically undoing all my progress by approaching the barking by yelling and doing things like pulling on his beard. I wish I was in my new place already because I'm reaching my limit as far as stress goes. It's really frustrating because he seems to think it's all "my" dogs fault when our other dog is also starting to slowly ramp up his barking as well for the same reason. I just want to get away from this asshole already.
No. 541004
>>540964Thank you anon! Your warm and honest response made me really happy!
Maybe you're right and I'm too hard on myself… Next time, when I'm gonna befriend someone, I'm just gonna be more open and honest with my feelings!
Thanks! You gave me a courage!
No. 541008
File: 1586901250417.jpg (43.75 KB, 640x429, ED32I7eWsAAxagU.jpg)
I hate this stupid garbage third world shit country I live in, everything is expensive, the government is shit, i can't even buy things on the internet because i live in such a backward shithole that most websites won't ship to here.
Now I can't even move out to Europe where I have relatives because everywhere is going Nazi 2.0 Electric Boogaloo, so my options are living in garbageland or getting beat up by nationalists.
IM A WELL EDUCATED SMART WOMAN AND I JUST WANT TO LIVE IN A GODDAMN NICE COUNTRY WITH BASIC MODERN AMMENITIES.
No. 541054
>>541008Anon, Australia doesn’t get a lot of stuff because places won’t ship / and it’s very expensive.
The US where you can get just about anything is riddled in gun-toting freaks, and everything is still expensive.
Everything is expensive everywhere.
The world sucks.
Europe sucks.
Sorry.
No. 541176
File: 1586930172718.jpeg (79.08 KB, 750x920, AA974882-2444-4875-A8E1-30C663…)
spent today crying and laying down, only getting up once to get food and shower and feeling ashamed of my family members seeing me get up, because i thought i didn’t deserve to eat today, or even do anything to make me feel better. i need routine back so badly i can’t go another month without distraction, videogames and youtube can only get me so far. even venting feels like i don’t deserve it, i don’t want to burden my friends, even the ones i know i can trust.
No. 541181
File: 1586932043700.jpeg (142.22 KB, 750x621, 57195422-D2F5-492C-B2D9-6533FE…)
I started dating this guy at age 15 because he was OBSESSED with me and young me thought that was a good thing, he always drew pics of me wanted to be around me I thought it was typical puppy love. But he got all abusive and clingy and I thought him being friendly with my mom was a good thing till when we broke up he sent her my nudes and shit. He told everyone we had sex and how easy it was when really I wouldn’t even suck his small smegma dick. He kept making all sorts of accounts when I blocked him to try getting me back. The reason we broke up is cause he wouldn’t let me talk to anyone, even girls. And I was annoyed at him always being creepy with local girls and following insta thots and sharing porn memes and all sorts of annoying scrote bullshit, I left him. And it took me so long to finally get rid of him and to get him to give it up. There were no redeeming qualities about him his looks were 4/10, his personality was shit, and he wasn’t smart or funny. Me dating him was just me feeling special because I let some gross dude drool over me for like 6 months and I felt so pretty next to his ugly ass
4 years later I hear the dude is having a baby with some girl good for him I guess I hope he’s changed for her sake, I lurk his insta profile
>still following random thots
>still posts coomer nonsense
And he’s having a baby with some girl
I feel so bad because the other day he made another account on Facebook just to say how beautiful I am and try talking to me. I wanna tell his gf but girls in this town always see their bf talking to you as if YOURE the threat and honestly I hate that guy so much I hope she leaves his ass, I cannot believe she’s willing to put up with his thirsty ass.
No. 541210
File: 1586937627280.jpg (Spoiler Image,41.22 KB, 395x529, 089786756.JPG)
>>535754i feel and look like this photo, the female version of it but combine it with a chubby short body, marks all over my skin, and annoying nasal voice. I look like shit even if I take good care of my appearance, I shave my face regularly, my eyebrows are always done, I have a long extensive hair care routine and a decent skin care routine, I try to diet and I try to dress well even though my body doesn't help.
Nothing helps my unfortunate genetics, I have some personality traits and interest that would be considered interesting if someone more attractive had them but for me it's just nerdy and weird, I'll never be interesting, funny, charming, smart, I'll always be annoying, boring, annoying, creepy, I'll never be enough.
Boys don't like me, girls don't like me, kids don't like me, I don't have any social presence and no body cares about anything I have to say I feel just like a blob of ugliness
no wonder the last time my bf told me he loves me was a year ago and it was the second time ever No. 541235
>>541231Have been having very similar issues with my partner who is also not employed, and very lazy.
Have considered many times leaving, though I am in a different country so I literally can’t at the moment.
No. 541263
I want a job so bad but I am so, so tired of trying.
I've been trying for over a year now. Minimum wage jobs won't take me because I'm not fluent in the language here (was taking classes until corona). Home country is going to shit because they've been sneaky and stupid about this whole pandemic. Graduated and no practical experience. I have revised my resume so many times, uploaded it to reddit for feedback, joined a discord of people in my field for feedback, joined women's networking groups (which seems to be majority trying to start and promote their own business), I've asked if I could intern for free for experience. Recruitment agents have interviewed me, nothing came of it (I follow up and check their sites), I've had phone interviews, I've had an on site interview that was for a position that wasnt even actually available. Recently I had an interview I was close to getting but I got second place (apparently). That one I spent roughly 20 hours preparing for. And it makes me sick to think of the hundreds, maybe thousands of hours I've spent applying for NO result. I've become better at applying now, but with this its either you become employed or you don't, so I see it as I've achieved nothing.
I just want to stop trying and have someone just fucking give me a JOB! Online it's so hard to break into those freelance jobs. Data entry, technical writing etc etc. I can do lots of things, I would be competent. But the idea that nobody will even give me the chance to prove that, even for FREE?! I want to stop.
This was triggered by me planning on revising my resume again today, but looking at it made me physically sick.
No. 541264
>>541233I really hate seeing what his comment has done to your self-esteem, I'm sorry you're going through that anon.
As for the comment itself, I don't know what's worse: Men fessing up to tell you that you are in fact no longer appealing, or them sparing your feelings yet drifting away to porn or entertaining cheating for feeling physically repelled.
I feel like my ex did the latter to me in my last long term relationship. I gained a lot of weight over the course of a couple years, mostly due to my job at the time but also because he was a stressful person to live with. He was so immature and I had to do everything, I felt like his mom. I coped with food and was too exhausted to exercise, and I admit those were my failings. I noticed he turned to porn often behind my back while neglecting me sexually, yet whenever I criticized that he'd find a way to blame me ("You never initiate!") without bringing up my weight. I think he knew if he came at me for my weight, I would've broken up sooner and it would be over. Cause you know what? He wasn't perfect and it was so unfair! He had nasty little rat teeth with a weird crackling jaw, dark circles, losing his hair that he refused to cut shorter, foot stench, constantly shedding body hair, and oh he was pretty out of shape himself.
The damage IS done anon. Everything you typed? You should tell him to his face and then break up with him. I know that probably won't happen, but he really deserves a consequence. I wish that if someone in a relationship has criticism for their partner's looks, that they would strive to improve each other as a team. Unless he's physically fit and you're somehow the lone fatass, but I doubt that. Truth is everyone could improve and it would be way less insulting than to act like you're the only one with a problem.
No. 541268
>>541244Keep in mind this is just my first impression without knowing the context of your history together.
Were you ever sexual with this guy before, or would he have believed that he had a chance with you? Sounds like he invited you over looking to score, and when it became clear an hour into the movie that no moves were happening I think he gave up and made an excuse that he was tired lmao. That's just the pessimist in me.
It's possible that he could have been genuinely tired, but like you said that's pretty rude of him to renege like that especially when you asked if you being there was imposing beforehand. Idk, sounds like typical male ignorance, he might not have meant anything by it. Men typically lack self-awareness and have no idea what it is to be selfless. It would make me feel bad too, but overall it might not be a big deal in the grand scheme.
No. 541269
>>541230No worries anon, I assure you I’m the same as you sometimes so I know well how frustrating it is to feel everyone’s judging you when you’re trying your best (specially coming from close friends, that made me furious).
What helped me was to try and think: why are they telling me that? Are more bad comments that good comments? Are they judging me just because? For sure I had to cut off of my life some very dearly but
toxic people but the “good” ones remained, even when I get hurt anyways because I’m like that and I take everything personally.
No. 541270
>>541263i'm sorry anon, jobs are very hard to find. dont give up
what country you in/from?
No. 541271
File: 1586953903647.jpg (39.5 KB, 600x524, 1584922340305.jpg)
My boyfriend is going through a really hard time rn. And I feel so bad for wanting his attention regardless. Even just messaging for 15 minutes every second day would be enough for me, but he won't do that. I don't know what to do anymore and how to support him.
No. 541278
File: 1586955484901.png (437.96 KB, 500x549, 1460646034199.png)
I noticed a lot of unemployed people are getting defensive when essential workers say how they should receive some hazard pay or incentive since they're risking their lives. Cause in some cases the unemployed are making better pay than the essential workers make. In certain states they're giving them $600 a week on top of unemployment pay.
One person commented YEAH WELL $600 PER WEEK AIN'T SHIT!
>mfw I work for 18/hr grossing $720 a week and my takehome after tax is $560
I just want them to shut up and be grateful lmao.
No. 541288
File: 1586957974139.png (2.08 MB, 1224x922, 1586885908285.png)
>>541282Yeah I understand. It's not like I want to take up all his free time, like I've said, just talking every now and then (we are in LDR atm) would be enough for me.
No. 541297
File: 1586960992383.jpg (29.76 KB, 642x644, 1585173099750.jpg)
>>541292Aww, thank you for your kind words anon. That being said, he is going through a lot of stuff rn (one of his family members has fallen seriously ill, and he had to move out to take care of him for the time being, his coworkers were fired and now he has to work 12 hour shifts to make up for that, his car broke down when he was at my place and we can't even repair it because car repair shops aren't working in my area (corona)). I understand that he has no time, so I feel angry at myself for still wanting attention. It also sucks because our schedules no longer match, so he often wants to text/talk when I'm at work, and I unfortunately can't do that.
No. 541299
>>541297Awe you're welcome. So it's not what I thought. Her has a lot in his plate, don't feel bad, he probably misses you too.
In this day and age of social media, we expect to be in contact at almost all times, so it's hard when we're not.
Take a step back. How about instead of quick text convos, you two do something more like writing letters and being on face time when you can? Instead of spending time waiting to communicate, you do some things for him that don't necessarily involve communicating, like writing a card, having a shoe you both can catch up on or a game your both working on.
It will be okay.
No. 541310
File: 1586963129314.jpg (23.84 KB, 453x470, 298859832053.jpg)
Went half remote for my job and while I can do most work no problem there's one task that drives me nuts. It calls for me to copy a line from an excel worksheet, paste it into a different software, and then run a query on it. Each line takes me about 30-40 seconds each.
I have 1500 lines to do. It's very boring, and I get distracted very easily. It's not due until next week, but for example I tried to work on it yesterday and I only got to line 32 over the course of eight hours lel. I know I can do well over 1000 lines in a shift since I had to do it and look busy in the office, but tbh fam I just wanna get paid for not doing shit like the 1% does. So fuck me.
No. 541314
>>541306he doesnt hit me in front of him he just attacked me one time so i guess im just feeling sorry for myself. obviously i didnt tell the mum about bf assaulting me bc she would probably take his side and he would also hate me for it
why am i in such a ghetto situation. i want out but i know i'll want back in
No. 541317
>>541302Holy fucking shit. If that's his mom's response to her 6 year old hitting you, no wonder why your boyfriend grew up to hit women himself.
You need to give your boyfriend an ultimatum that either he seek the psychological help he desperately needs to get his anger issues in check or you're leaving him. If this shit doesn't get nipped in the bud, it will only escalate.
No. 541345
>>541343How are they getting fatter? Quarantine has been great for me because I'm eating healthy food that I'm cooking at home, and I have more free time to exercise. I feel guilty for burdening fast food employees so I haven't consumed junk food nor soda in weeks.
They must be depressed or something, I'm lazy af and don't have those issues.
No. 541359
>>540851In America, most people grow up with their godsiblings and are almost as close to them as their normal siblings. Usually closer than 1st cousins.
However, it is extremely annoying if you don't actually like your godsibling, as is my husband's case, because then you're stuck with this arbitrary label people use to make you feel guilty about not wanting anything to do with them in adulthood.
No. 541360
>>541350You're being unreasonably paranoid. Paranoia is bad for your health.
You need to realize most of us will eventually get covid, and we may be getting it many times in our life if it becomes seasonal.
The danger to your bf is minimal. You wouldn't be afraid of him getting the flu, right?
Get yourself together, stress will do more damage to your body than covid will do to his.
No. 541375
>>541372the most actual disgusting thing is that you would do all these things just for a boyfriend.
its 2020 and there are still women acting like servants for men and they get surprised when their boyfriend treats them like a doormat.
have self respect and remember that no men would never try to change his body for you.
No. 541383
>>541360>>541350To add to this, you, like many people, seem to be forgetting why we are taking all the preventative measures.
We are doing it so that we don't all get it at once, not to avoid getting it at all. The aim is to slow the spread, not stop it. People need to get it to build up immunity.
I don't understand how people can have the phrase "flatten the curve" be parroted to them all day for the past few months and still completely forget what they mean.
No. 541416
>>541401ngl all y'all sound
toxic as hell
No. 541422
>>541401I'm
>>541302Am in a similar situation living with in laws. I wish we could task on discord or some thing. I try really hard to get everything right and help around the house but I catch the blame for almost everything if it isn't done a certain way
No. 541424
>>541401Oof, a Jewish scapegoat in the domicile. Classic.
Sorry you live that way, hopefully you can leave after the crisis is over (but shame on your man for not defending you if he knows about this).
No. 541450
File: 1586982733433.gif (1.45 MB, 440x183, mirrorfreakout.gif)
>be very slim and fit most of my life
>Very active/inshape, closely watch intake, macros etc. if I gain weight it's to the "right places", stomach always flat
>Get hormonal IUD
>Go from being 135lbs of lean muscle at my heaviest to can't get below 170 (down from 190) in span of 2ish years (note: lots of the gain was from giving up or becoming too tired with health issues I've now resolved, so I do take blame there)
>Stomach always incredibly bloated on top of that
>Multiple other health issues pop up
>Drs insist this can't be from the IUD, see multiple, same insistence, they start to imply I must be munchie (in less obvious terms)
>Used to get incredibly painful periods (debilitating) before so don't push as hard to have it removed either, despite my suspicions
>Drs insist I must not be exercising/eating/sleeping right etc, despite that it was my 24/7 life style before and I know damn well how to track cals work out routine etc
>Having high bpm issues, breathing issues, would do 2-4hrs cardio/day, til month ago, suddenly can't do 20mins
>Dr says it's "normal" since I went from high activity to low, completely ignores this development is what caused me to go from high to low
>Reading more about all this on Google
>Multiple other women claim on forums they have the exact same issues after getting this IUD, same experience of being very slim/athletic before this
>Countless people reiterate the concept it's impossible to be caused by the iud, at most it might cause bloating or minor weight gain at the beginning of insertion
>Begin requesting from drs to refer me to gyno to have it removed
>You can't get appointment with gyno on your own here, you just request and wait for gyno to call you
>Do this on 3 seperate occassions and never get the call back
>So beat down and frustrated I give in to thinking I'm just unlucky and have to exercise more eat less rest well surely I am just doing my something wrong despite nearly coaching peers prior who would come to me for advice
>Finally today reading about cortisol as it causes all the problems I've been struggling with (and how to lower it), esp the new weight gain in belly
>Multiple sources claiming hormonal IUD raises cortisol, sometimes drastically in some women
>Cortisol causes these issues that everyone says are impossible to be caused by my IUD
WHAT YHE FUCK
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
HOW MUCH DID THE HORMONAL IUD COMPANIES HAVE TO PAY TO SPREAD THAT AMOUNT OF AUTISTIC MISINFO
THERES NO WAY IN FUCK THIS STUPID FUCKING THING MAKING MY BODY THINK OTS KNOCKED UP 24/7 ISN'T THE BIG CONTRIBUTOR TO THIS RETARDED SHIT THAYS BEEN RUINING MY HEALTH/LIFE AND NO ONE WAS WILLING TO EVEN HUMOR THE IDEA AS AN OUT THERE POSSIBILITY
FUCK IM EVEN MORE MAD AT MYSRLF FOR LETTING IT GET RHIS BAD AND GO ON SO LONG INSTEAD OF FIGHTING YO HAVE IT REMOVED
FICK YOU DOCTORS FUCK YOU IUD FUVK YOU SHEEP TARDS ON FORUMS REFUSING THE OTHER WOMEN WHO SUSPECTED THIS FOR THEMSELVES
If I can't get this fucking thing removed once quarantine is over I'm lubing up some fucking pliers and ripping it out of through my fucking cervix myself, pain be damned
No. 541492
File: 1586988883040.png (235.22 KB, 390x399, Screen Shot 2017-09-20 at 7.01…)
>>541483No joke, he probably needs to get laid.
Now in no shape/form/way does that excuse an inkling of his behaviour, if anything I'd say it makes it even worse. But combo of lack of sexual release + work stress + tardo generation of sexually repressed parental units believing they have to stick out flunking marriages with little to no self awareness or concept of mental health/proper coping mechanisms = nonsensical rage outbursts
Now, obviously stress doesn't spawn purely from lack of satisfying sex life. But his targeting of your mother makes me imagine it's some subconscious shit over not getting his rocks off building up
toxic resentment.
I don't even say this as a man hating thing, I think it happens with women too, but I find they typically become sex repulsed over time making the connection harder to pinpoint.
Really think they were onto something when the prescription for "female hysteria" was orgasms, except it's not exclusive to females kek
… My mildly inappropriate broscience pseudo psychology aside, if you've never lived outside your parents house, anon, I just want you to know it gets so much better. You'll never fully understand the amount of stress you're holding onto until you're (comfortably) living on your own. I know that might not be a near possibility for you financially, but by God when you get the chance move out and never look back. Also, for your own sake, try not to resent your parents too much. That doesn't mean you have to accept any shittiness, but scream it into the void like you have here, and then try to forgive them for it. Personally I found it a lot easier to try to understand/forgive mine by coming to terms with that they were not raised or given the opportunity to properly conceive the ill effects of their bullshit. It doesn't excuse said bullshit, but I found some peace with that understanding and it helped me let go of all that pent up emotion I was forced to compartmentalize to be able to survive growing up with them. Hopefully you can too, with your own. In the end, they are humans and as their offspring we're meant to evolve beyond them - you have the resources, emotional depth and intelligence to see and learn from what they haven't. Best of luck and remember to prioritize your own sanity, even if that means letting go of their transgressions. (Fuck maybe you know that all already, I'm just some bored fuck on lolcow kek)
No. 541507
I hate me for loving him. He insulted me in all the possible ways. He told me things that no one should ever hear, just because I wasn’t who he was expecting. He left me abandoned in another country, alone, with no connection, knowing I couldn’t contact him for more than an hour, just because he didn’t like the pics I was taking. He told me I will end up alone anyways because I’m insufferable and that no one will ever love me because people get tired of me (he knows this is the biggest fear I have in life). Never comes to my plans but expects me to be there for him no matter what, no matter when. Never meets my friends. Never does what I want to do. If I complain, I’m crazy. I’m wrong. I’m stupid. A stupid bitch. If I don’t complain, I’m not paying attention to him, I’m always distant. I have to laugh at his jokes but not too much or he will think I’m faking it. I have to laugh at the fact he lets other girls flirt with him. Wait, today is a new day, today I’m not allowed to laugh, I should get mad and anxious about it and let him know because if not, I don’t care about him, I don’t love him. I have to beg him to come to my father’s funeral. Maybe if he’s not lazy that day he will come. I have to suck it up when he laughs at me in front of his family. Also when my friends keep asking me questions and I have to lie every time and defend him. I have to hear how nice he is, how a good boy and how much he loves me. But I don’t know if tomorrow will be a good day anymore, I don’t know if I will say or do something wrong, probably he’ll find a reason to get mad at me anyways.
And I hate myself because even after all of this and more, even after practically wishing everyday he would hit me so I could put a stop, even then I love him. And I don’t want to. I don’t want to cry in silence, curled up against him because if I dare to cry harder he will remind me how pathetic I am, someone who only loves to make a drama of everything.
Today I know 100% I’m fucked up in the head, anons….I’m sorry this is a mess, I’m even sorry having to write this, I’m so, so tired of always feeling guilty and wrong, first with my parents, then when my friends and now I’m here.
And I know, I know, “dump him”. But tomorrow I’ll wake up, feeling ashamed for feeling this hate invade me and I’ll wonder if I can be that happy and unworried girl who I wasn’t actually before. So I’ll just leave my vent because right now he’s not talking again for the third time today and I need to remind me why I keep crying, why it hurts this much.
No. 541515
>>541401If your boyfriend has done nothing to remedy this shit or defend/help you, then you need to refocus your gaze from his family to him.
If he has become docile because he feels this is normal behavior from his family and there's nothing he can do, then it's going to become
problematic later in your relationship
Alternatively, if this virtoul comes from seemingly no where and they are not typically like this - you got a couple other things than being Jewish to consider:
1) you yourself are more
toxic than you realize, and although it doesn't justify their ridiculous shit, they've picked up on it and retaliated (potentially because they mistakenly feel they are "protecting" your bf - very smolbrained of them, I know). Visible EDs can be very draining for the people around you and are often concurrent with other mental health issues, so they may perceive you to be a parasite to your boyfriend.
2) your boyfriend may shit talk you or play
victim to them, even if it's just after a fight. He may even be well meaning and confide in them for help or out of concern for your health. Family usually only hear these extreme downsides and don't see any positive, and as a result vilify the partner. They may even find by not eating you're adding stress by concurrently hurting your boyfriend/exposing them to your mental illness (it's ignorant but not uncommon stance).
And I'm sure it doesn't need to be said, but girl, if you were visibly anachan when he started dating you, something ain't right in his head.
Don't say any of this to harsh on you, but more a forewarning of the redflags lots of us miss in the moment. If any of this rings even a little true with some introspection, gtfo away from more than his family. try cognitive behavioral therapy (you can find lots of free worksheets online if you can't afford a therapist) and re-evaluate the ever loving shit out of your relationship and if your boyfriend is really helping you or a hidden thorn in your side.
No. 541527
>>541524i really love him and we're basically best friends and i find him really attractive and things were good when we were intimate
it's just this specific thing that bothers me
he's helped me so much and no one has ever made me so stable
it's not worth leaving him over it
it just hurts
No. 541530
>>541445I got something similar though I'm generally low empathy/lack of clear morals in most regards (obviously have enough of both to care enough to reply, though). If that doesn't sound the same, then what I've concluded may not be quite as applicable to you. However, maybe still worth consideration/exploration:
1) ptsd/cptsd and/or depression can cause a sort of deattachment as this. I think most people who experience it to such an extent that often don't even realize they have it. I think this is the most likely/common, whether any other factors apply or not. Untreated learning disorders are also very potentially or partially responsible for this kind of ahedonia, from my understanding.
2) childhood trauma/abuse, or lack of healthy relationships or stable connections as a child (this could be as simple as being bullied or not included in activities with other kids, or having something that prevented you from making friendships properly in those formative ages). I have read before that if a human being does not learn to speak a language by the age of 12 or so, they can never learn how to speak. I think this is similar with making connections/friendships, except there's varying degrees (for example - you can still make some form of romantic connection with your ex). Dysfunctional relationships in chaotic or
abusive childhoods would also factor largely towards this, or even just subconsciously not trusting others.
In my youth I had a very narcissistic disposition stemming from subconscious self hatred, where I did not even see my peers as fellow humans (I was not self aware at the time). I think the opposite can happen as well (subconsciously thinking so lowly of yourself you do not think you are on their level). Both would also have varying degrees of severity and reasonably cause you to be incapable of making connections with peers. So if either may be true for you, that's a good starting point for self reflection/research. And ties a bit into:
3) long term introversion and/or self centeredness, intentional or not, causing a lack of or stunted empathetic/emotional maturity and self-awareness. This may not manifest in you being this way in every aspect of your life. However, because of it, you need to grow in these stunted areas (as much as possible) to be even capable of harbouring care or interest in others
4) female autism/Aspergers. I'm less sure on the viability of this one, but I've read up on it a little after seeing how many anons here are female aspies. Although it may not typically portray like this, female autism seems to be harder to pinpoint and from what I can understand not being able to understand/connect to peers often seems to be a potential trait. So something to read about/consider
Other than that, I have found that CBT and the "law of attraction" (as a fake it til you make it concept, not literally believing in some other spiritual force bringing you shit) to have been the most positive to my own growth/improvement. Forced self reflection as well, as I personally never really reflected on much if anything.
I also felt medication (in my case effexor xr - an snri) helped me comprehend the concepts of things better - before it I thought my peers were faking bonds and they didn't really feel them either. I doubt that'll be the typical case for people feeling (or lacking?) as you do, and what worked for one person medically won't always work for another even if the issue is the same, but medication might be something to consider… Especially in the case of depression/ptsd (again, what I feel is the most likely scenario, generally). On a personal level I still don't give an overwhelming amount of fucks about people, but I feel more capable of it and as if it's certainly be possible if I was interested in working for it.
I ultimately believe that the human mind is much like the body… If you wanted to be muscular, you would have to work out to get there. In your case, it is possible your "bonds/connections" 'muscles' are atrophied or injured. This is why I feel CBT is a good approach - used properly it can help you narrow down just which 'muscles' might be
problematic and work towards rehabilitation. Faking it til you make it is also something you must do fully/internally for more than just committing to the chore of it. Ie. You can't feign interest in others then be sitting there in your head thinking it's meaningless. You must work to rewire your brain/thoughts to work how you want them to work.
At the end of the day, my belief is you cannot stay a
victim if you do not allow yourself to be. If this is something you want to change, then do everything in your power to change it - and BELIEVE in it; believe in yourself and your will to change beyond all else. Otherwise you allow yourself to be powerless and not in control of yourself and your life, let yourself stand in the way of your own desires. It is ok to accept you are different, or damaged, or whatever else - it is fine for it to not get better right away or not 'fully' and acknowledge that. But it is not working on it that becomes failure/weakness, letting it stand in your way or be an excuse, saying 'im just like this and there's nothing I can do' before trying, or after trying and not trying again.
And the alternative to that is just accepting you're that way for one reason or another and not wanting otherwise… Either way problem solved.
No. 541550
>>541538I've lost more than a few good friends to suicide or accidental OD. All I can offer you is this:
It never, ever, ever hurts any less. There's nothing that "truely" makes it better. Might not sound nice but it's how it is. That loss will likely haunt you for the rest of your life. That said, whether now or over time, in whatever way you can, if you let that pain out, if you don't deny yourself the right to feel bad and grieve when you need to - even if it hits you… And I mean "truly" hits you, years from now, that pain will get easier to carry. Never less, but easier.
Do whatever you need to do to heal, however long it takes, in whatever ways you need. Your friend, too, was likely using drugs in a desperate attempt to try to cope with some pain or demons he didn't know how to fix… try not to resent how it happened, for all the good things in your friendship and for yourself. When you're ready, remember and appreciate and love and hate and just fucking feel all the memories, good and bad. But don't let yourself get stuck in them, in the circumstances, or the pain. And no matter how hard it may become at times not to blame yourself, feel like you could've or should've done more, remember this:
It's not your fault.
It'll never be your fault, anon.
I know no words can make this better, but from one anon to the other - I hope you're able to find peace with your pain.
No. 541555
>>541538I'm sorry for your loss, anon.
Your post made me think about my own friends and how my relationship with them isn't that deep. It kind of makes me sad.
I really wanted to experience real friendship in this life but guess it will never happen.
No. 541560
File: 1587002305989.gif (1.93 MB, 245x246, 1449119019641.gif)
Became friends with a younger girl who's basically a personality clone of myself. I really like her. By chance since we're so similar, she highlighted something I do that attracts bad men. I'm really self-conscious about this, I feel like such a fool for never realizing I did this before.
For background this girl just got out of a world of shit for being someone's ride or die pickme. Won't go into refined details, but it was her second serious relationship. When it ended she walked away with a court date, a seized car that she will never get back, the loss of her paralegal job, and a huge blow to her self-esteem. He went to jail but he tried to blame her for everything and then blocked her. I tried to pinkpill her a little but she told me she would have taken him back if he hadn't blocked her. Yikes. Now I've never gotten into that much trouble for a man, but I have taken men back for committing an unforgivable wrong against me while they blamed me for it. All because of my need for love and the guilt of sunk cost. I think it's so tragic and I related to her so much.
Anyways what freaks me out is that it was only my second time hanging out with her and yet I already knew so much about her! She told me additional stories about her medical needs, and just some more general info about her life like interests. Now to a person like me, I appreciate the openness and I take showing me vulnerabilities as a certain sign of being comfortable. This is the type of girl who'll stick her neck out for ya.
So how does someone like her–someone like me–wind up with abusive men?
Then I realize that predators can spot us from a mile away because we are so trusting, open, and completely naive about what abusive people will do to manipulate this information in their favor. That's why it's so jarring when someone seems to open up so quick, not because it's a horrible thing but because it truly does make someone so exposed and vulnerable like why? I'm so ashamed and I've definitely done this for the past year and a half while reeling from my last long term relationship. I guess it made me sound nuts. Some men never wanted a second date (now I know why), and the ones who I dated or had situationships with, turned out to be abusers or manipulating me for their selfish gains.
Fucking hello! How could I have been so blind?
I'm so ashamed, I'm such an idiot. She's younger than me so I'm going to try to set a good example, not just for her sake obv. When we went for a constitutional the other day I managed to seal her conviction that now is a horrible time to date or worry about men, and that we should focus on becoming our best selves. Which is absolutely true. I think we both could benefit from being single for awhile.
No. 541592
File: 1587011515990.jpeg (35.92 KB, 720x533, 09293286-9007-4676-876E-EE1B06…)
I swear all these coronavirus conspiracy theories that have emerged have my mum one viral whatsapp message away from becoming just a full on domestic terrorist or something what is wrong with boomers why do they believe this stuff so easily
No. 541596
>>541592fucking kek that's beautiful ilu anon
re: boomers would love to know also.
No. 541602
File: 1587012710829.jpg (36.52 KB, 563x554, 8961086a4ebd621753f783388179f6…)
feeling particularly ugly and untalented
No. 541616
File: 1587016619865.jpg (41.28 KB, 574x439, 8af275f30e04b8f410f312861d9dff…)
>>541176I already felt really disconnected from society before this and now it's pushing me over the edge. I wish I could at least go outside on a hike or something but they closed everything.
No. 541654
>>54164526k? Where do you live? Where I live starting pay is 50k. With that being said the amount of work that needs to be put in day in and day out still doesn't match when you compare a teaching salary to that of a desk job. As an English teacher I'm responsible for preparing each and every unit, day to day plan, homework assignment, project, and exam for my classes. I teach 3 subjects so times that by 3. I work at an affluent school where parents are very pushy and refuse to believe their kids are lying to them when they say they turned in their essay and that I just "lost it". On top of that you have to go to department meetings, professional development, and put a lot of money into your own classroom. I'm not trying to be negative; there are still positives to the job like winter and summer breaks and the relationships with students. With that being said, the positive moments with students don't make it worth it in my personal opinion. I know a lot of teachers who say it's worth it. I'm more of a creative and went into teaching because I thought it would be a good creative outlet , but with the amount of curriculum requirements out there, there's not a ton of room for that. Best of luck though, and I don't know if you have to do the edtpa but good luck with that as well.
No. 541657
>>541655I'm 177cm (thats almost 5'10 I think)
Thanks for the tip I will look into it.
I just got upset while looking for harem pants from a stupid cheap website, I just wanted comfy colorful pants to wear at home but the past has shown me they're always too small and ride up my ankles and I cant stand that.
I once bought tall harem pants from etsy (wich were 40" long) but even those ride up my ankles unless I wear them really low on my hips.
No. 541660
>>541657It's this site harempants… they have like 100 different pants and for each a plus size version….not one tall version
I'm more upset about this than I should be really but I'm just tired of it is all…
No. 541675
my friend is weirdly jealous. she still has a problem with me about my past best friend - that I've always liked said friend more than her. (duh? they were my best friend) She's like, now they're out of your life and I'm here, you should appreciate that more. I mean… yes, she' not wrong, but she brings it up basically every time I mention that friend. Like move on? It's been years, and secundo I won't apologise for liking someone more, even if we're not on good terms now, that's ridiculous.
Now she's angry with me because she proposed video-chatting, I said yeah, we should do it sometime. Later that day I told her I played a game with a boy I like and all she got from it was that I played games with him instead of video-chatting with her. And that it was rude to even tell her about it, I should have kept that to myself because now she feels shitty and like I didn't appreciate her proposal. Honestly I find it absurd and invasive. So I can't have any human interaction until I officially set a date and hour for the video-chat?
I'm a bit awkward so maybe she's right and I'm insensitive, tell me. Or is she really acting weirdly?
No. 541685
>>541675>Like move on? It's been years, and secundo I won't apologise for liking someone more, even if we're not on good terms now, that's ridiculous.Do you not get the irony in that statement? You're saying you're friend should move on about you liking this girl more, but you're not moving on from prioritizing someone you're no longer on good terms with over a friend who is still in your life and clearly cares a lot about you.
>Now she's angry with me because she proposed video-chatting, I said yeah, we should do it sometime. Later that day I told her I played a game with a boy I like and all she got from it was that I played games with him instead of video-chatting with her. She's being over-sensitive about this, but it's probably boiled up frustration about feeling underappreciated by you.
No. 541702
>>535754I struggled with friendships for YEARS I didn't have any IRL close friends for 7 years and even online ones didn't like me that much or we just would fall apart, I finally met this girl in collage and we became really close friends, I feel comfortable around her and I don't feel like I'm going to get judged.
but, with time I grew uncomfortable because she comes from an upper-middle-class background and we have lots of differences there and it makes me feel inferior in lots of situations. She also has a lot of friends, I don't even know all of them and all of them are from higher classes too and some are plain rich and I feel really out of place when they're around.
She definitely sees me as a friend but she prefers being her childhood/school friends and she seems to be the type who makes friends with everyone she has to spend time with (she has like 4 besties) so I'm not that special really, I'm just a classmate she had, but she's on the top of my social media contacts since I don't have that many friends, in fact, I don't have any close friends at all.
She'd not open my messages for days, and sometimes if she knew we were gonna meet she opens them and replies minutes before arriving, she never says sorry or explains why she never opens/replies to my messages. we've been friends for 8 months and this was the situation the whole time, she also started dating this boy 4 months ago and didn't tell me until last week but she told all her other friends which only proves that I'm merely someone she knows and quite frankly I started feeling that she is judging me for my background/looks/financial situation/..etc, but I'm also feeling that I'm making this up because I'm insecure so I don't really know.
I'm beginning to think she only finds me interesting (maybe for style/taste?). I'm kinda butthurt that I'll never have a close friend or a bestie, makes me sad and envious seeing people with best friends and a connection, I just have to accept that I'll never have a best friend.
No. 541709
>>541678>>541685I don't think she is, she has a boyfriend, and she seems very hetero.
You're right about boiled-up frustration, anon, but it's not just with me. She has an insecurity that she always tries the hardest in relationships. I can understand that, but it's not completely fair. She's demanding and if you don't adjust, she holds grudges and victimizes herself. It's hard to please her, you're always doing less than she'd like and she'll let you know in some absurd way. Like getting resentful that I'm gaming with a boy.
>prioritizing someone you're no longer on good terms with over a friend who is still in your lifeWhere did you get that from? Moving from pioritizing…? I can't rewrite the past. We weren't even close back then, we'd argue way more. She has to find closure for that, not for mine but her own sake. I already told her I apologize for making her feel underappreciated, and I told her things I appreciate her for… In return, she's still arguing about the video-chat thing. That it's not crazy for her to expect a date, not a "sometime we'll chat". I'm just tired. Maybe I really should take some distance. Thanks.
No. 541719
>>541704So many women wear wigs… especially in different cultures or just people who like to change up their appearance a lot
Anyway unpopular opinion ig but even if you disagree with trans people politically or whatever I still think it’s pretty horrible to be dismissive when someone, trans or not, is talking about experience severe body dysmorphia, self harm and suicide. Either way it doesn’t matter because anon said nothing about being trans or that would even suggest they are to any normal person.
No. 541723
>>541719>anon said nothing about being trans or that would even suggest they are to any normal person.You mean except saying 'titty skittles', a phrase invented and exclusively used by trannies? Actual women aren't likely to use such a nauseatingly sexualized term for medication, just men who get off on the idea of having boobs. Maybe anon is a woman and just hopelessly obtuse about the sort of language she's using but you can't actually be surprised that anons are suspicious when someone says shit like that.
And men posting on here deserve to be dismissed no matter what they post, regardless of whether it's political or mental health related.
(hi scrote!) No. 541733
>>541723Nobody said titty skittles, literally just look at reviews of women on breast enhancement products and you can see bio women use the exact term. You are just paranoid and an asshole who believes women can only act or say certain things
You're sitting here flipping your shit just because an Anon said "titty pills". Please stay out things if you can't have a discussion without being an ass over something as small as a single term used
No. 541751
File: 1587039254490.jpg (26.31 KB, 567x425, IMG_20200330_005727.jpg)
I can't take this anymore scoob.
I live in an European country that has been in quarantine for 32 days already and I've already lost it. For the past week I've been bursting into tears every night and today I started crying first thing in the morning and it hasn't stopped yet.
This situation has made me realize how isolated I am. I depend so much on routine and going to college/living in a dorm to have social interaction and without those things I don't have any friends. I keep seeing people I know from school have zoom evenings where they all play games, watch movies and chat and I wish I could have that so bad. But I don't, I'm so scared of loss that I can only form surface-level friendships that for some reason I can't bring myself to contact outside of school or work.
I'm so sad and lonely, anons. It's silly, but I wish so bad I could have a friend group to talk with once a week during this quarantine, to be a part of something. But I blew it, I feel like I never learned how to create meaningful bonds with people because for 20 years of my life I had to move countries every year and leave my entire life behind each time, so at one point it just because easy and even comforting to keep people at a distance. This way I wouldn't hurt as bad when I had to leave and be alone again.
I don't want to act like this anymore, but I don't know how to stop isolating myself. Please help, anons. Fuck this quarantine.
No. 541758
File: 1587041560912.jpeg (32.85 KB, 512x288, 1584942167474.jpeg)
My mother's the most ridiculous person to ever exist.
The same woman who would yell at us for using the internet back when we were little kids is now the same one who's addicted to her social medias and cannot even stand still for a day without having to post something. She used to yell at us so much, telling my father to take the WiFi router away because "we are addicted to our phones" but now she's even worse. We cannot even buy something because she ALWAYS has to take a picture of it, post it on her Instagram feed or story because she thinks that "everyone's so jealous of her" and "they're all fuming whenever they see her". Bought a pan a few weeks ago and still refuses to use it because "she needs to take a picture of it and post it on her social media but doesn't have the perfect opportunity now". This woman doesn't even have any friends but posts pictures on her stories that she's currently outside with them and enjoying themselves. Even gives them fake names, prepares three extra cake plates and cups for the pictures to make it look like they're all her friends and she's so "popular". You cannot even call her out on her bullshit because she will start verbally abusing you and calling you names and how dare you do that you are so evil for saying that bla bla bla.
No. 541769
>>541450I'm so sorry, anon. Women are constantly being gaslit about our health. The medical industry is fucked.
This kind of shit is why I'm wary of the onus of birth control solely being placed on women.
Scrotes buy a fucking condom and/or apply vasigel challenge.
No. 541776
>>541772All the time. Her family has a long history of mental illness and she doesn't have anything diagnosed but I truly believe that she's narcissistic and even possibly bipolar from all the things I've experienced with her throughout my life. We have even asked her before if it isn't weird how she's making all those people up and she got offended that we'd think like that over her and said no she doesn't care, she just wants to post.
She has our relatives on her social medias too and they're all in another country (which is way more shittier than the one we live in) so she's constantly showing off and bragging about having money and how she's better.
No. 541788
>>541538I agree with the other anon, and honestly cry wherever you need to as time passes. I found myself about to cry many times in theaters from a scene that just hit me about the people who did die in my life.
as for my own vent: I wish so god damn bad I could nap like normal people I can only sleep in 7-15 hour increments and getting less than 6 makes me feel sick, and anything over it I still feeling god damn tired through out the day. with this virus my sleep routine is jumping all over the damn place. ive really started to question if something is wrong with me since no amount of food, sleep, exercise will cure this jet-lag feeling ive had for like 2 years now. to top it off i recently had a weird moment where i parked and forgot where/who i was for a few seconds. then when i tried to move everything felt like extreme vertigo it was just god damn scary. i still feel like half the time things are moving sideways but not on the level that was at least. im tired of feeling weak and tired with my obgyn saying its nothing other than excessive estrogen as well as my primary dr being closed.
No. 541800
File: 1587046607866.gif (2.36 MB, 344x352, b27966140db68d0621628f2309f8a4…)
>>541793stop being such a crybaby and acting like a bpd fag who wants to manipulate their friends and loved ones with suicide because of an unfortunate thing happening
no wonder they're all avoiding you or being mean
No. 541807
>>541801I'm sorry but you in your previous post you just literally blamed your friends for wanting to take your own life. Your friends ignoring you is not a reason for you to blame them.
I'm not sure how much of a dick your bf is and if he does abuse you or worse then I'm sorry. If he is just a regular dick just talk to him.
Life does get better anon, you sound very young. Just keep going to therapy and don't give up. Try to reason with your bf and maybe make some new friends or talk to other people. Maybe they are ignoring you because life is so hectic because of corona.
No. 541812
>>541776>>541758My mom is very similar, woah. Even the part about being from a shittier country. She's completely obsessed with facebook likes, and admits it out loud. I have a bunch of stupid mental issues that cause me to have a panic attack whenever I see photos of myself and I beg her constantly to consider my feelings before posting a photo of me on facebook but she doesn't give a single shit. My brother (who has similar issues to me) has started charging her money to post pictures of him, and she actually pays him?!
I guess the only difference with our moms is that mine is unfortunately very popular irl, which makes it worse sometimes because it adds to her delusion that she's not a manipulative shitty overgrown sorority girl. She openly admits to being cold to her friends on purpose because she doesn't care about them and doesn't understand why they're so "attached" to her.
At this point my brother and I have armchair diagnosed her as narcissistic, but my dad is too obsessed with her and a doormat. Sorry for ranting about my own mom, I felt really relieved reading your post because I worry that I'm just imagining things.
No. 541817
File: 1587047882221.jpeg (6.09 KB, 267x139, download.jpeg)
>>541809I would definitely do coffee with you but…yeah. Hngg. I just need someone to hold me because I'm scared
that I'll never get laid or do myself ever again.
No. 541819
>>541812I totally feel you, anon! And I'm very relieved that I am not the only one with a mother like this. I am very sorry that you have to deal with a lunatic like that too. I genuinely understand you so well with the "I beg her constantly to consider my feelings before posting a photo of me on facebook but she doesn't give a single shit." because it's also the same with my sister. She has diagnosed depression and anxiety and my mother either posts pictures of her on her social media or random cakes she's baked herself with the caption "Look what my daughter made me! Xx", which is not true at all but she has to keep up her image of "loving mother with loving children!!".
Everything is just so incredibly tiring. And then they have the nerves to say that the younger generation is brainwashed all thanks to their phones.
No. 541827
File: 1587048679409.jpeg (110.09 KB, 933x914, B24B6BEE-AEBE-4150-8C77-1A60CE…)
I will sound like an ass but i hate my parents so much, if you absolutely insist on being retarded at least dont fucking touch me. weeks into quarantine and their presence makes me physically cringe. I never asked for love attention time or whatever, just some basic human respect, if you cant manage that why not just stfu???? being in the same room with my mother feels like its with a hobo corpse and each time she talks i wanna throw up.
No. 541869
>>541828Buy an ego e-cig vape thing, atomisers and juice. My batteries cost a tenner and the one I've got now I've used non stop for two years. Atomisers are a quid eachvat Poundland. Their ejuices are meh flqvours but a quid and go up to 11mg (I think).
I had to switch because I cant affird cigs but I buy a tobacco and it lasts me months, having a couple of slim rollies a day.
Nicotine addiction's fucking awful. Vaping with this olde school thing is better than nothing. A lot better.
No. 541917
I'm a little freaked out because I think my tonsil is growing back? I had them taken out when I was like 13 or 14 years old, I'm in my late 20s now. The problem is there really aren't good pictures of it on the internet from what I tried to google, so I don't really know. I'm not known to have allergies, but it's possible that due to the pollen, I have a constant post nasal drip. I often wake up with bad breath and have snot constantly.
It's only on my right tonsil though, so if it's nasal drip it doesn't make a lot of sense for it to have only made one tonsil irritated. Also the swelling is not where my tonsils are but more towards the back bottom like behind my tongue slightly? It's very difficult to explain the placement. I started noticing because there's this sudden pinchy/sharp type of pain sometimes when I breathe deeply, yawn, swallow, etc. Not all the time, it just feels like something's there.
I'd ask a dentist but they're all closed due to covid afaik. My doctor's appointment is in a couple weeks but I have no confidence in the bitch I'm seeing. It's a sliding scale joint because I'm uninsured so they don't really take too much care to look into problems. My impression of her is that she just assumed that if you complain about something you must be a malingering munchie. I did not like her, she had no manner and was pretty rude to me.
No. 541969
>>540739 >As if that’s not bad enough I look masculine as shit on the surface too. Manhands, linebacker shoulders, insane amounts of body hair and I’m like 5’9 or 5’10 or something. Even if I looksmaxxed and men started being attracted to me they’d leave me as soon as they found out what I’m like on bottomNot the same as being intersex obvs but I was on testosterone for a while so I have effects like quite an enlarged clit and some permanent changes like my voice and body hair, if you're confident in liking your own body as it is.. there are definitely men out there with alternative tastes to the usual 'I only like uber feminine girly girls' and people can love androgyny without it always being a degenerate thing.
Obviously your first sexual partner acted immature so I really don't blame you for feeling the way you feel now. Were you ever offered therapy to help navigate issues like sex? I would think it's necessary but then I've heard all sorts of stories where intersex people have been left without support or resources.
No. 542021
>>542012I agree. My family work in the intensive care unit and said the same thing about it being self serving and distasteful, they are still having to work in unsafe conditions without PPE etc and put their lives in unnecessary risk, portraying them as hero’s is just dehumanising, it makes it seem like it’s just an inevitable, selfless sacrifice when they get ill and die and not totally preventable and a result of government failure.
My neighbour did an entire clarinet rendition of over the rainbow at 8 today and it just feels so self serving, literally no one is enjoying it but them.
No. 542025
File: 1587083526525.png (158.97 KB, 529x402, 44840bfa-7345-455b-8340-d43a19…)
My teacher never gave me a deadline then gave me 4 Fs across her subjects when I "didn't deliver the work on time"
Prior to this she only warned me yesterday that I should send her my work, so I started working on my assignments, finished 4/7 and planned to send them tomorrow when I finish the other three, only to check my phone and find out she effectively lowered my grade in every single subject she teaches. I can't remember the last time I wanted to die this badly. Good luck to me getting into college I guess.
No. 542045
File: 1587085508258.jpg (57.48 KB, 640x626, 1585872142378.jpg)
>>535754mom told me I was one of the reasons she wanted to kill herself
No. 542059
File: 1587089692572.jpg (48.51 KB, 720x680, zxy4cr8ej8m21.jpg)
Turns out the girl I'm in love with has actually been leading me on for months because the guy she's fucking has a lesbian fetish!
I thought we were dating! Haha!
No. 542083
>>541769Thanks for your condolences, Anon. I do find some solace in that I (at least hope) my health issues are reversible with some time & renewed effort once I remove it. And I do want to believe there's a happy medium of more pros than cons for some women and hormonal birth control, even outside of not getting an unwanted pregnancy.
But fuck me if I won't be using it any time soon. At this point I'd rather get my tubes tied and accept a lack of bio-offspring. The way the hormonal IUD was practically sold to me by every doctor too, disgusting they all treated it like some miracle thing with 0 consequences considering some of the other, far worse and life threatening side effects lots of women have experienced.
but, as they say… c'est la vie
No. 542112
>>542088this is my worst nightmare
call cops
No. 542138
>>542122Just a suggestion but you should look into textured window coverings. They usually stick on but they're slightly transparent so they allow in sunlight. At least it would prevent people from being able to peer in and you could actually open your blinds. Try searching for 'window film.' Come to think of it, there's one-way mirror film you could buy so you'd be able to look out of your window too!
Also I kind of relate anon. I'm on the top floor of my building and while I have a great view, I have to keep my blinds closed especially at night because all 4 adjacent buildings all stare directly into my room. Also you can definitely see into peoples' apartments here if they keep their lights on at night. I may have accidentally flash on more than one occasion.
No. 542379
>>542268>>542327>>542346I don't know about you guys, but as an oldfag I've become almost entirely a lurker and never bother to post. I simply can't be assed, don't give a fuck to post against or argue with the tards.
I honestly think the influx of 'shittier' users and 'off-culture' posters are just the (unfortunate) 'natural' outcome of lolcow becoming more widespread. Every time someone cowtips or a cow wines publicly about lolcow, a new influx of a different kind of audience stops by.
I also think the majority userbase were previously from /cgl/ and harbored some level of classic 4chan culture, where as now it's probably majority from a combination of KF, PULL, twitter, IG, tumblr, nu-4chan (more in cross over to the others sites) etc… all of which have pretty different cultural 'dynamics' than here.
Obviously lots of factors contributed to this, like the shitty old-admin or the burn out of the admins previous that allowed various raids and non-culture adhering bursts to become the norm. over-banning and rules people generally disagreed with to try to remedy it making others get fed up and leave.
ultimately over all, though, it's just the sad reality of growth; smaller scale but no different than what happened with 4chan. oldfags end up coming less and less for a variety of reasons, end up posting less and less, end up leaving as the newfags (consequently often younger, volatile posters with more time/care) start to take over.
>insert that comic about someone bringing a new member to a DND group and it slowly grows until the game becomes mainstream and the original members don't even recognize it/belong any longer.jpeg No. 542381
File: 1587145837405.gif (3.93 MB, 500x419, rainyozu.gif)
it's warm but gently drizzling outside and the sun is setting, it would be such a lovely time to walk around with some friends and reminisce together. i didn't go out much before the quarantine except uni and sparse shopping trips, and walks with friends. i do miss seeing those friends very much. i hope you're all doing okay under these conditions
No. 542398
>>542383I know the feeling, anon. Not only have I been the "other girl" (no delusions of staying with the dude or anything, just didn't have the moral value to care at the time - felt if the guy wanted to be a piece of shit it was none of my business), but I've been cheated on even in long term relationships where I felt full trust/thought I spent too much time with them for that to be possible. All my male friends have shown they'd fuck other women while in a relationship if they can get away with it, even the ones who deny it would shamelessly and sexually flirt with me at times.
As a result I think I began to cope by just refusing monogamy, like as if "allowing" the men I date the option to sleep around I 'cannot' be cheated on. So far I've only done this in two relationships (both men early 30s), one long term and one a bit more fresh (current, we aren't fully 'dating'). The first one he slept around a bit at first, but seemed to feel it lost it's charm and wanted to be with just me. Unfortunately, I subconsciously refused to allow myself to fully emotionally connect to him (deep down I obviously want to believe in monogamy), and by the time he wanted to 'settle down' I realized I no longer had any inkling of interest.
The second, so far, is pretty open about checking out or showing sexual interest towards other women. I find it hard to believe he wouldn't sleep with another woman 'eventually', though he has my 'permission' right now and despite the commentary, does not seem to actually want to go through the effort. Enjoys the fantasy more than the act, I think. I still find it very hard to believe if the right 'moment' presented itself, permission or not, that a man wouldn't do it. Though you could argue women could/can be the same (whole 'right moment' idea), I think society's sexist propaganda of men needing to spread their seed being 'genetic norm' make that thought/need more ingrained in a lot of them.
It even bothers me that the men who do 'stay loyal' seem to do so of reasons outside of the relationship (like religious belief that's the 'right thing to do').
I sincerely only have eyes for my partner when I'm with someone. I barely even see other people as people in terms of attractiveness compared to them. I could find someone else 'attractive' sexually or physically but it would be akin to how I feel about appreciating another woman as a hetero-woman, I 'get it' but I don't feel it in a way that's compatible with myself. At the same time, I know this isn't the feeling all women have, as there are lots of women whose eyes wander endlessly and cheat just as men do… which is why I think it has more to do with societal outlook/environmental factors over time. I also think a lot of people cheat out of low self esteem/sense of self over desire for sex itself… I think they do it for validation and ego boost, not just to 'get off', even if they don't realize it's not that.
I really want to believe there are men out there who feel about their partner the way I feel about my partners, the whole way through, without doubt. However, since I've yet to find any who I feel are like this at all, I've decided to just accept it as a possibility, and try to enjoy the guy I am attracted to, and not fear the potential of cheating… if it happens, I will deal with it then. until then, I will just enjoy the moment of the relationship I believe to be currently monogamous.
when we get closer, I will stop this whole 'permission to sleep with other women' thing, too. that's born of my own lack of self respect/self-esteem and past traumas, but for now I want to forgive myself for coping with it in the way that I have, as it has helped me come to terms with and learn more. (note: not recommending this method for anyone else, though I do believe the "not fearing cheating until it happens" outlook is necessary to be happy… even if every man turned out to be programmed 110% to cheat at least once in his life, I think that's how you'd have to think about it to be happy in a hetero relationship and not live in this world of fear/disgust).
No. 542410
>>542379When you start feeling like this, it's time to move on to another website.
Take it from an oldfag in the sense that I'm old and have gone through many online "communities".
It's always Eternal September.
No. 542411
>>542383Ugh, this happens to me sometimes too. Glad I don't have any dating apps right now because I wouldn't want to know. It would hurt so much not only for myself but for all those women who are being betrayed.
Worst of all is because I'm an "attainable" type of woman I get the real nasty married creeps, the ones who think they're king shit but don't realize the audacity they have to think women would want to fuck them and no less help them cheat on the only woman who was willing to.
No. 542457
>>542410>It's always Eternal September.well referenced, anon.
I agree with your sentiment; sadly I've yet to find the right 'new community' to fill this particularly void, so here I linger a ghost.
To an extent, even if things could return to a perfect time-capsuled state of the early days of internet communities, I am no longer the same person of my youth and would not enjoy them in the same capacity regardless.
Part of life, no?
No. 542480
>>542457>Part of life, no?No. Enjoying stuff has nothing to do with age.
I'm sure you'll find a new community eventually. The Internet is huge and there are billions of us on it.
No. 542581
File: 1587170229230.jpeg (107.61 KB, 640x640, 33E777D0-28E8-4A1F-9FEF-41D8F3…)
I’m feeling very frustrated. I have a good job in my desired career path, making 50k a year, as a 23 yr old without a college degree (just gotta toot my own horn a little). My live-in bf of 4 years helped me get my job. As background, he is 2 yrs my junior but graduated college early and was able to make very good connections and get himself a job. We combine our salaries and are currently working toward buying a home. This stupid stimulus check is annoying me because he asked to use mine (and his) to purchase a new computer and dual monitor set up. Yes, it’s surplus money, but if he was forward-thinking he would want this money to go toward the home fund. And why does my money have to go toward something like this? When we discuss rings, he jokingly says it will be a ring pop. But genuinely I know he’s happy to slap down $2400 on a new comp setup but the thought of buying me a $2400 ring is some kind of a joke. I work, do all the chores, exclusively walk our 2 dogs, cook us every meal we don’t buy… guys, I’m just fucking sick of it. I feel like I give 99% and he just shits out 1% effort and I eat it up. Maybe I’m just some salty spinster and being squeezed into my 500 sq ft apt with this guy through COVID-19 is making me nuts but MAN WTF??????
No. 542590
>>542581A computer is actually a functional machine while a diamond ring is just a shiny bauble.
It's your check though, so you should use it on what you want.
No. 542604
>>542581Anon, you get what you tolerate from guys. "Jokes" about buying you a ring pop as an engagement ring? Living in a 500 square foot apartment even though you're both employed? Using your money to basically buy himself a new computer? NO.
The fact that he'd even ask you to put your money toward something like that while knowing what you want (an actual home, or even a ring) is ridiculous and disrespectful.
It seems like he wants to live a bachelor's life without being an actual bachelor, and he's taking advantage of how much you care about him. Those "jokes" about buying you a ring pop? Think about it. He's probably going to start linking you YouTube videos and articles about how marriage is a scam for men, if you don't just see them in his history every once in a while.
The fact that you're calling yourself a "spinster" (even ironically) while having a boyfriend should be a sign of how things are going emotionally, too.
There's no damn reason you should be living like this. He's not mature. This quarantine is most likely just bringing all the issues your relationship has to the surface. You're only 23, you don't need to put up with this.
No. 542609
>>542606She's not materialistic or ungrateful, he's just a young cheapo who shouldn't be with a woman long-term right now.
He wants to play on the computer and live in a small place. He's living like he's still a college student. That's not boyfriend or marriage material, and it probably won't be for ~4 more years. If anon rewards this behavior and lets him be this way, probably not even then.
He helped her get a job, but that doesn't mean she owes him physical/emotional labor and money in exchange for a tiny-ass apartment (and what? Dick?), lmao.
No. 542645
>>542480Hah, I think I meant something more along the lines of that over time your tastes generally change and you find new interests outside of your old.
But I appreciate the optimism, and I agree.
No. 542648
File: 1587185710949.jpg (155.52 KB, 933x991, Screenshot_20200417-235309.jpg)
WHY are all of the CUTE, fashionable, hardworking, well-mannered, non-mommy issues, sweet and charming men
GAY?????
AAAAA
No. 542658
>>542648Straight women played themselves by having low standards.
>>542651Is therapy an option for you? What about a chill local mom group? In my personal experience, being alone > being around
toxic assholes. I got isolated by an ex and when we broke up I literally had no one. All it took was finding one friend online, and a copious amount of shitposting kek, I was able to keep going and start healing.
No. 542694
File: 1587199986222.jpeg (61.59 KB, 640x457, 6A116B73-0D4F-4CF5-8B36-9DE121…)
My ex doesn’t wash his hands after he shits. I can’t believe I let that man touch me. I now know the meme that French are filthy is fucking true.
No. 542697
My mother is growing increasingly frustrated because she can't go to work because of the lockdown, so she lashes out at us for dumb things, then does her "nobody cares about me here" victim routine. She's always done that, if you do something (most of the time accidentally) that makes her angry, she will completely ignore you, if she needs to tell you something it will be in the most unpleasant way, and a week later, she'll hug you saying that it's normal that parents and children quarrel (when all the aggression comes from her). I'm sick of her shit, most of the time I feel like she's ignoring me or mocking me when I'm talking (sorry for being a weirdo but I can't help ot), but now I have to put up with her every hour of the day. She wonders why I never want to hang out with her, I hope she won't be surprised when nobody will come to visit them in their hick retirement town.
No. 542711
>>541507I think it'll fall on deaf ears but I hate to see this so I'll reply.
I think it's a cycle. He lowers your self worth, and so you don't feel like you have the option to leave/that it's acceptable, he sees that his treatment of you is acceptable and continues to keep your self worth low by repeating those behaviours.
I think he doesn't respect you at all, and instead of working on yourself you're still looking for his respect. It won't ever happen. Once a new low is reached and you don't leave him for it, that new low is now standard and he now knows you won't leave.
I'm thinking of course you hate yourself, because your life is at a standard that you don't find acceptable, but your way of dealing with it (waiting for him to change, to respect you, to love you and treat you right) is not going to happen, and this vision breaks down when he acts like the shit he is. But it can all be happily forgotten when he's acting OK to you because you can go back to that hope.
I just want to say that you're worthy. Everyone is worthy of healthy, respectful love and it's just a case of working on yourself and making yourself believe you're worth it. If that happens, behavioural boundaries will be put in place for what you find acceptable and being able to ignore/leave the chaff (which in this case is your bf). You won't look to him to find you acceptable, instead you'll look to yourself and know what's right for you.
As someone who was in a similar case, the best advice I could give you is that in these moments, look inwards. Reduce your anxieties about your bf (who you have to accept is flawed and probably low EQ) and boost your own self esteem. Second (maybe wishful thinking on my part) is to recite and say to him "I don't like you and wish I could leave you". Make that phrase exist, and make him aware of it. No matter what happens after, what you say, he'll now know. He might leave, he might change for a little. But it could break the cycle anyway.
No. 542722
>>542701I don't think you should stay somewhere you are not happy, especially if you have don't have ties to where you're currently living.I do think however you have to approach it with some pragmatism.
It's easier to just move to a different state than to completely overhaul and move back to your home country especially if there are no opportunities there.
There's plenty of places in the states with beautiful scenery, Western States are big on this. You won't find a lot of European architecture don't get me wrong, but the natural environment is beautiful.
I live in Colorado and the mountains are at most a 20-30 minute drive away. Look into Colorado (there's always a ton of European tourists in the mountain towns), look up big outdoorsy and developing cities.
No. 542730
>>542722>>542723Samefag but there will always be a longing for your home country. My parents are Mexican immigrants and they swear they're going to go back to their home towns. I fully believe they will but as of now there are no big opportunities there.
You can always save and go back but at least have some solid savings to cushion the transition, but don't be miserable while you're saving up.
No. 542734
>>542722>>542725I've lived in lots of places! I just mentioned New York and Chicago because those were the cities the other anon brought up. But I've also lived in Arizona, Texas, Colorado, Ohio, and briefly in Socal. In rural areas, suburbs, and big cities. None of them have been the right fit so far. I'm most attracted to the PNW though, I was gonna take a trip there and see if I get that feeling of home, but then the pandemic happened.
>>542730I have a bit of savings, and I could sell my stuff and live comfortably off of that for a few months. Plus I have family overseas who might be able to help me get on my feet. Though I haven't spoken to them about this yet because I'm afraid they'll crush my dreams and tell me it's a bad idea lol. But you guys are right, I should probably be a more pragmatic. I'm not usually the type to have my head in the clouds but homesickness is a helluva drug I guess.
No. 542763
File: 1587214173489.jpg (22.59 KB, 500x281, f333090b91b9b565f09ccdbb7ca0d1…)
I just don't know how to overcome the end of a friendship.
She used to be my best friend, but one day she just blocked me. I tried to contact her by other ways because I wanted to know what had happened, but she just kept blocking me.
This happened 1 year ago and I can't forget her, we had a lot in common, so whenever I see something I like and want to share with someone, I remember her.
We were friends for almost a decade, but in the last few years she only came to me when she needed to talk about something bad that happened in her life and often ignored my answers, but even so she was my only friend and I still miss her a lot. I feel so fucking pathetic about it, but I don't know what to do.
No. 542765
>>542763I had a similar falling out with my best friend since childhood anon it sucks. She unfortunately never grew up but I was the one always in the wrong and was selfish if I didn’t coddle her and listen to her problems.
You really have to treat it like a breakup. Feel the hurt, pain, and sadness of rejection and try to move on because the relationship is obviously not healthy. Wishing you luck.
No. 542776
File: 1587215369249.png (994.28 KB, 1190x858, stg.png)
I can’t stand being in lockdown with my brother’s gf.
I’ve vented about her here before. She’s really passive aggressive and just plain rude. She used to only act weird and cold towards me, doing things like giving me the silent treatment, or making subtle jabs that would make me sound crazy if I tried to explain them. (We used to be so close I considered her a good friend!) She still does this to me but now she’s doing it to my mom and it makes me really angry. Throwing out her food and belongings, taking a TV my mom got as a gift and not giving it back when her cat broke my mom’s TV, turning off/on the heating when my mom has specifically told her not to, taking over the kitchen right as my mom is about to make dinner for our family so she can make food for herself and my brother.
The other day she went out to get her weed delivery, my mom asked her if she was being safe with the social distancing (both my mom and brother are immunocomprimised and high risk) she laughed it off and said “well I’m not the one going out the grocery store everyday,” referring to my dad, who had to go to the pharmacy to get prescriptions.
She doesn't pay rent, she eats my parents' food. I’ve just never met someone so abhorrently ungrateful.
No. 542797
>>542776>"well I’m not the one going out the grocery store everyday,” She's an asshole but not wrong. You guys should consider delivery if you live in a developed country that offers it.
Also make them start paying rent or doing more to help out, they shouldn't be able to live rent-free while being as bratty and spoiled as they are. I use "them" because imo your brother is a piece of shit for not standing up for your mom too. I can't help but to suspect that had he made it clear to his gf that he respects his mom, that she would have a fear of disrespecting her so as to not make him upset. There's no consequence which is why she continues to do it. Tell your brother to grow a pair.
No. 542808
How dare you threaten me by saying you're going to go around lying and twisting my words.
Bite your tongue and choke on it.
You cherry picked one set of words from a paragraph and convinced yourself if it meant something completely different than how it was intended and then got obsessed with what you THINK it was I was trying to say. I admitted fault for making you feel that way and having a royal screw up, but I explained to you very clearly it was NEVER my intention and felt genuine shame that it even had the potential to make you feel that way.
I am not obsessed with you, maybe it feels better to think of yourself so highly, but I spend my day trying to put as much distance between this and myself as possible. I've been working on my degree and making progress on other things, like graduating and moving to Melbourne like I originally wanted to. Which by the way, I'm buying my robes and hat for next week after turning down a 170k per year job in port mac, just so you wouldn't feel I was stepping in your territory. Fuck you, by the way.
I have one credit left and they're letting it go due to the pandemic.
Yes, I have bubbles of getting upset over things, but calling me "sickly obsessed" is just for your own ego at this point.
If you genuinely think I'm obsessed and desperately pining for a guy who yelled at me when I told him I had a miscarriage, put his hands over his ears like a fucking baby and was too STUBBORN to listen to anyone else, and then proceeded to demonise me in his head because he was too weak to process anything, you're wrong. I deserved and still deserve better than your arrogance. Fuck you.
You're so hell bent on making out like I'm a piece of shit, but you won't even look at yourself or actually judge things past your own set of fucking eyes. It's actually disgusting. I don't know how you look in the mirror at this point.
Has it occurred to you that the source of the miscarriage was actually you? You fucking did that, and you couldn't even stop for a second and think about what it might have been like for you to have stressed me out so much my body did that.
You screamed at me and spun out and told me that I tried to trap you, with what? A dead baby?
I had zero expectations of you but somehow still managed to screw that up, and then you tried to twist it, then convinced yourself of that conclusion without even thinking outside of your own headspace.
Actually fuck you. You stupid 19 year old piece of shit. You have no idea how people in this world work and have the emotional intelligence of a teaspoon, then you shoved our problems on your friends to make guesses until you would zero in on something that makes you feel like you're having a bingo moment. My apartment was messy, it was fucking filthy and it was depressing to be in and I felt like I was trapped with you in there. Why do you think I just slept and said I felt sick? I was sick but it was also fucking depressing.
Do you know why that was? Pull the crayons out of your ears. You avoiding issues before you came, through all that stupid valentines day drama, affected me greatly.
I told you when you were here I was behind on my household work and that was why. I spent the few weeks before you were here getting ahead on my studies (remember talking about being in an office? Yeah, fuck you and your shallow insight.) I was already feeling miserable from pushing out huge papers between trying to give you as much time as possible and then YOU TOLD ME NOT TO CLEAN MY APARTMENT. You were so fucking naive and caught in this idea of perfection that you wanted to see cute shit but it wasn't like that, I'd been running on empty away from you trying to balance work, uni and nights with you and my apartment showed that.
The shower curtains I've been scared to remove because of my land lady being a fucking hardass. If you'd asked, you'd know I doused the shit out of them with a bunch of things and they're actually stained that way. I hate it but I also don't want to get in trouble for changing them. Shut the fuck up and respect that I am scared of a 5'2" devil of a filipina with the power to kick me out. That's how life is sometimes in the adult world.
Inconsiderate, let's see.. The washing machine? That was because I honestly was so wrapped with having you there. It wasn't an issue before, and the whole thing with the washing machine was something you were too arrogant to ever think about:
There was shit you didn't know. I organized and paid for the washing machine for my neighbor after hers broke when she moved here, I bought it because she couldn't afford it and then I buy all the laundry stuff and also GIVE HER MONEY FOR HER RENT SO SHE CAN BUY FOOD.
You have no idea what the fuck you're even talking about. You have always been so short sighted, bull-headed and refused to believe you could ever be wrong.
Now, laziness with not wanting to work or study.
I have always studied, you have just not seen it because I did it at times when you were away and sometimes did light stuff when we were just relaxing to movies and things. Sometimes when you were asleep I also worked on it. And you're lying about what I've paid for. I paid for my diploma and then my father paid THE MAJORITY, NOT ALL OF my master's degree. I spent my whole life not even using resources I was allowed to use due to not wanting to float by on daddy's credit card. I have been working solidly during studying both degrees.
How dare you sit there on your fancy computer in your parent's home and tell me I'm lazy when you haven't even ever had a utility bill your fucking name or had to clean a house when you've had 3 hours sleep, have a job and have spent all your energy working on reading medical journals when you also have a stupid boyfriend who can't even figure out how to properly function in a relationship like an actual being. I work in a cafe at McDonalds whilst studying a master's degree. Why the absolute cunt would I want to get a promotion? They. Don't. Pay. Extra. For. Crew. Trainer. I just want to do my time, earn my coin and be on my way.
You have done nothing but avoid this and run around with cotton in your ears throughout this whole thing, and I'm not an angel, I get that. But if you can honestly sit there and say I deserve this, you're absolutely fucked and I actually worry for your future partners.
You never tried to work on things. Your visit could have actually marked a point where things went up and you chose to throw the towel in because the honeymoon phase was over and your little feelings were all confused. Don't sit there and fucking bullshit me, you didn't want to work on things because you didn't want to try, you're 19 and it's too much of an effort. You wanted this to come easily because you're naive and you think it should be a cake walk and romantisize the idea of having this super adult constructive relationship where you both work and grow. But it doesn't work like that. You're just too fucking stupid to know that, because I was your first and you have to know everything. People fight, people have doubts.
Once we broke up you say I became a psycho, well you betrayed everything you ever said to me, and did everything you could to twist the knife. If you want to point the finger, fine. But let me ask you one thing, can you name a single promise you actually ever kept? Think on that one. Really think about that, even when we were in our good phase, you didn't.
You actually broke every single promise or backed out of them last minute. You heartless reptile. You broke me over and over again.
You won't listen to anyone unless their opinion fits to what you want and are too immature to understand that our stories meet somewhere in the middle.
I hope this gave you the slap you genuinely fucking need, but I doubt it. Because you're too stubborn and you think you're right and you're absolutely livid.
In short:
Fuck you, you 19 year old piece of shit. You're two years into a bachelors, I'm studying a master's degree. You work from your parents home and I'm 26 fucking years old and have my own place. You stupid, self-absorbed little prick. I hope the world chews you up and spits you out like the bad taste you really are.
No. 542833
>>542820I'm so fucking done. I had a great job lined up there as a director of nursing for the state hospital, huge benefits and was even looking at an apartment for him to fucking stay with me so he could taste independence.
It's fucked.
No. 542842
File: 1587225334145.jpg (115.52 KB, 819x1024, ET7EDYAWkAEAIpr.jpg)
quarantine has been making me feel like shit about my looks and i can't tell if i'm just plain ugly or have body dysmorphia. i've been called pretty and gorgeous and etc by others but every girl hears that from someone. i'm thinking about becoming a twitch streamer just to reel in compliments and simps so i can feel better about myself.
No. 542846
>>542842Pic attached has photoshopped her jaw poorly and asymmetrically. No one's face looks like that. Can't you spot photoshop yourself? The issue is that you're buying into digitally altered images and believing they are real.
I'm not saying you should assume every pretty girl is edited, but you need to train your eye. And log off Instagram for good, noting there is real.
No. 542861
File: 1587228369122.jpg (452.48 KB, 1801x1080, City-of-Solvang-CA-Danish-Vill…)
>>542701Solvang, California
No. 542915
>>542900I regret posting anything, I use the internet to waste time and I dont consider my internet audience friends.
Just do something else as a time waster
No. 542918
>>542764I made it pretty clear since the first post that I hate it here and my dream is to move back. It’s not really “deep down” and I’m not making excuses, just explaining my situation. I haven’t shot down anything though… I literally said anons here are right and I need to level my expectations. I will probably check out the Oregon-Washington area before I make any hasty decisions and another person suggested an adorable town in California I’ve never heard of before. Also I don’t go around irl talking about how much I hate America kek, those type of complaints get nationalists heated enough to start fights.
>>542807I’m from Hungary, but my overseas family lives closer to Vienna. Unfortunately I don’t speak German.
No. 542919
>>542915I also regret most of the things I post. I had a Facebook before and would cyclically shitpost on my wall and comment dumb stuffs. Even now on the
few Discord channels I post on, often I wish I wouldn't say it because it's pointless, and sometime delete it a few second after the message is online. I cancelled an account registration on a forum I wanted to post on for this reason too, just pointless.
>>542900Take care, here is a (you) before I remove this shit too
No. 542944
File: 1587244405960.jpg (5.92 KB, 130x200, my-melody-4113.jpg)
why do I want to back in time so badly?
my teen years were shit and I spent most of them angry, self harming and suicidal developing a minor alcohol addiction topped off with a shitty home life. isolating myself never making an effort to make friends at school was my way of protecting myself even when others did reach out to me. I just clung onto a couple of people and met people through them as some kind of security blanket because I was a huge loser in school, stereotypical lunch-in-the-bathroom bitch because why would my friends have the same lunch as me lol.
since starting my job when I was 20, I improved my socializing skills and stopped sad drinking, made a small circle of genuine friends, go out more, work out and I have a boyfriend i've been with for almost a year now. i'm a lot happier now than I was in high school and anything i've learned and done up until this point is a huge improvement for me.
now with everyone being in self isolation, i'm constantly alone with my thoughts and overthinking my teen years pops up a lot. I regret wasting the easiest time of my life and some of the things that make me feel normal now like having a social life or going out to explore, I can't do right now so I feel like shit all over again. to try and cheer myself up i'll watch room decorating videos or journalling videos to maybe get some surge of inspiration to do something productive and to watch something cute and cozy. I get a little envious of some of these girls who made a platform for themselves at a really young age and are basically living their best lives like they should be. it sounds so pathetic to be jealous of a teenage girl or one in her early 20's but I just want my ~youth~ back. I want a do-over. for a 17 year old girl it's socially acceptable to be silly with your friends or SO in public, these girls have great relationships with their parents, they're decorating their rooms with polaroid pictures of all their friends and making some of the best memories of their lives. my teen years were especially depressing because it really opened my eyes how my dad was a cheating, verbally abusive alcoholic and i'd be woken up to him yelling at my mom and not letting anyone sleep when I had school the next day, then having to listen to my parents bitch about each other and be in a house with horrible tension because after a big blowout they wouldn't speak for weeks and school wasn't an escape for me either. I could have given less of a fuck about keeping a cute room and decorating it when I was cutting myself and getting drunk. I had very little friends to be silly with and I guess I just want the better life I have now, but 10 years ago. I want to be ~popular~ and cute, I want to film myself having fun and being silly but it's just kind of weird to be doing it when you're in your late 20s. knowing i'm gonna be dwelling on how I didn't make the most of my 20's gives me such horrible anxiety it's just a cycle. also I wish I was popular and had a big platform that I started at a younger age lol but I have such a shy awkward personality and nothing i'm passionate about that someone else doesn't already do better that I don't think I could keep anyone's attention. when I was in highschool facebook and early twitter were the big thing and now these kids have insta, youtube, tiktok, twitter I feel like such a fucking old head past her prime
No. 542979
My girlfriend is absolutely unbelievable.
I don't know why I do this to myself, why I am still together with her despite all the things she puts me through and all the things she's done to me. I guess I am scared of being lonely again, because this relationship is the one I've longed for so many years. I remember crying at night from how lonely I felt and how much I was dying to talk to someone and have someone appreciate me and love me, and now that I have this relationship and I've been with her for two years I should be grateful, but it just drains the energy out of me. And the worst part is that I cannot bring myself to leave or break up with her. We already had an incident in the past where we broke up and three weeks later we came back together. Those three weeks were kinda weird for me, because I was stuck between missing her and being glad that I left her. I'd feel relived for leaving her but then five minutes later think about how stupid I am for even doing that. We obviously came back together and now I ask myself if things would be way different now if I didn't message her back then.
The things she does are so fucking unpredictable. Sure, she is a fun person and besides all the bad stuff we get along very well and I can tell that she holds some sort of affection and love for me as well, but sometimes I cannot help but question it.
She completely fucked up my trust issues, "emotionally" cheated on me twice, had so many incidents where she would let people flirt with her but never said anything back to them because "she is too nice and doesn't want them to hate her", would make me feel like the biggest idiot ever for feeling jealous when I had every right to, started arguments over the tiniest things and so on. She admitted herself that she's manipulative as hell and that it's a toxic traits of hers, but me the retard is absolutely oblivious to it sometimes, because I genuinely cannot tell if she's doing it or not.
When she's the one who's the victim, she will go great lengths to write one paragraph after another to me, trying to demonize me and make me look like the worst person to ever exist, has a "private spam" where she most likely talks shit about me BUT when she's the one who's in the wrong and I am the victim, she will suddenly turn "uwu mode" and all her perfect grammar suddenly turns into some typo mess and suddenly she's messaging me "jm sorryk for everyhtn i ahve done" despite me telling her so. many. fucking. times. that writing like that does nothing but annoy me even more, because I know what the fuck she is trying to do. She is trying to soften my anger towards her with her dumb fucking crytyping but it doesn't work. I know that trick very well and I do not let her affect me with it. Instead of softening my anger, it just makes me even more angrier.
There was even one fucking time where she called me a genuine racist, because my edgy ass thought iDubbz and Joji are funny despite their dark humor, which was 2 years ago. She was like "oh you enjoy their videos it obviously means you relate to their racist humor and do you remember that one time you called me, a hispanic, poor which means you think all hispanics are poor which is racist on its own". That one time I called her poor was in a joking manner and she also called me poor. She knew that too, but literally took it out of context to make me look like this huuuuuge racist piece of shit and last time I playfully brought it up to her, she was like "I don't remember that happening!11!1" like sure you don't.
I am kinda sure that she takes advantage of my memory loss too. There are so many times where I don't remember certain arguments we had or shit I told her, but she will literally bring it up during a fight and no matter how many times I tell her no, I seriously didn't say anything like that because I do not use words like that or carry myself like that, she just keeps on insisting that it's true.
Besides all of this shit, she's so incredibly fucking sensitive too. Will say shit like "your parents don't love you" in a "joking" way despite knowing I come from an extremely abusive home and telling her several times to please stop saying that, and when I get upset then she will hit me up with the "i am sorkky i saidj ttat…". I was telling her about my CSA story once, in fucking tears, and she proceeded to crack jokes and I got even more upset because talking about that memory is already upsetting enough.
She always reads my tone wrong, thinks I am being passive aggressive or defensive when I am literally being calm and neutral. Thinks I am attacking or insulting her when I am just being normal. She expects me to baby her 24/7 too. There was a time where she would get incredibly upset that I wasn't calling her cringy petnames (pup) and thinks she's being so overly cute when she's acting like some wanna be baby uwu small little broken baby doll uwu nympho angel uwu. Has a fake eating disorder she just won't let go, never told me that she fainted from it but then during an argument she suddenly started claiming that "I did not care after her telling me she fainted from it" which is absolute fucking bullshit. If she did, I would know it, because I might have memory problems but these are big details that I cannot forget. I also cannot fucking forget the time I told her about my self harm problem and then a few days later she suddenly told me she tried it out too and that "it hurts but it feels so good" despite me telling her how I've been cutting myself ever since I was 12 and that at this point I am genuinely addicted to it and need help.
She will constantly gatekeep education aka you think you have it bad at school? No! You should see her! She is just soooooooo stressed with all her exams and homeworks, the things you are going through are absolutely nothing! You should see her! Wahh!
I am also someone who needs to distance herself for a few days, mostly like 2-3 days, because people tend to overwhelm me a lot and make me feel suffocated, and she knows that too. I've explained it to her and she was all nice about it. And when I do that, when I fucking distance myself, she will throw the biggest fucking fit ever and act like I always leave her when she needed me the most, will act like some clingy spoiled brat who has the worst girlfriend ever. I've told her this numerous times and she always acts like she supports me and understands, but when it ends up happening she's suddenly the BIGGEST victim ever and I'm the worst person. Speaking of her demonizing me, she used to talk so bad about me to her friends and on her private spam so much, she even told me how people used to seriously BEG her to please leave me and how "abusive" I am towards her when it's not even fucking true. She has the biggest victim complex ever. It was also during those times where she cheated on me, would ignore me to talk to this one person, would even think about breaking up with me while I was here, trying to deal with my own problems.
During the time we broke up, she told me that she already "whored" herself out on too many guys aka would talk to them in a NSFW way and "crave for affection to deal with her sadness" while my ass was out there, crying and not knowing what to do and blaming myself for breaking up with her. How the fuck can you even talk with so many people immediately all flirty after you broke up with the person you claim to have "loved so much and will never forget"? Her excuse was that "she felt lonely and tried to cope with the pain" and I just don't fucking believe it.
I just can't. I seriously cannot do this anymore. I want to leave, but at the same time I don't. I should feel bad for talking about her in a negative manner, but I don't. Not after I think about all the things she's put me through and will continue doing to me. Right now we are even fighting. Got mad at me for distancing myself for 2 days and instead of carrying the conversation like normal, she is being passive aggressive and ruined everything and then hit me up with the infamous "jm sorr.y…,,".
Is this the fucking relationship I've longed for so many years? I feel absolutely pathetic and like an embarrassment because I don't know what to do anymore. If I leave, I will be so unbelievably lonely again and I am so used to talking to her every day it's become a part of my daily routine, but when we argue and she gets like this, I just don't even want to try anymore. She tires me out so much.
No. 543002
>>542998>are you even old enough to post here because this is some underage twitter shitYup, you caught me. I am actually 12 years old and I met my girlfriend on Habbo Hotel.
You people always gotta accuse everyone and everything to be some underage faggot as soon as whatever you're reading doesn't fit in your "ideal adult post". I understand that this place has been swarming with underage newfags lately, but c'mon.
Also good for you if you think this is a standard e-relationship.
We have met before IRL numerous of times and she just lives three hours away from me.
>>542986I just googled it and honestly, after reading some points it just struck a nerve in me.
I seriously don't know what to do yet. But thank you a lot, I appreciate it.
No. 543136
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>>543120My condolences for your loss, anon.
No. 543153
>>543076Seconding the anon. Xanax and kpin are NOT long term drugs, and should be used on the extreme occasion you are having a bad time. They are very addictive, and the withdrawal can be deadly if not done appropriate.
Please be careful anon, and seek out a therapist if you can. There are a lot of therapists that will offer services on a slide scale / free.
It took me from the age of 14 to age 21 to finally find the right medication (though I wasn’t diligent enough), but it can be done. I