File: 1583949243776.jpeg (37.72 KB, 375x350, 1579897059385.jpeg)
No. 523796
File: 1583949861827.jpg (57.71 KB, 370x505, iwillendit.jpg)
i feel nothing right now. i couldn't go to class i'm just screaming into and punching pillows, and also punching doors. i can't feel or do anything except stare into space empty-minded.
No. 523869
>>523826Oh wow anon, I'm in somewhat of a similar boat. Been on Nexplanon since 2014 myself but this one will expire in May. Since I'm uninsured, I can't get it replaced without selling a kidney so I'm just gonna get it removed for $150 instead.
I'm a bit anxious like you are. I have no idea how my body will react to suddenly not having a perpetual cycle of hormones in it. I'm not looking forward to having a period again. I think our weight might actually do better at least though? Tinfoil, but I've had the implant in both my arms and usually the arm with the implant grows this weird cellulite more than the other without it. I've had nothing but weight gain on this implant, but it's better than getting prego.
That's another matter. I'm happy that you have a bf so at least there's someone steady to know your situation and be more cautious. I don't, so I'm probably gonna stop all casual flings unless there's commitment because men don't give a fuck! I hate condoms but I can't expect men to be responsible. Back in my young and dumb days, I remember paying $50-80 a pop for Plan B pills because the gutless fecks I slept with didn't give a shit about being careful. One time the Plan B didn't work and I had to pay for an abortion on top of that, so never again!
Not to mention the past two
abusive guys I dated briefly were very conniving when it came to my birth control, they wanted me to be pregnant and I shudder to think what would have happened if there had been something they could have tampered with like condoms and pills. At my age (late 20s) some men are nonchalant about accidental pregnancy because "we're getting older anyway." They treat it as if women like me should be grateful to them that we got knocked up even if they're unreliable as prospective partners/fathers, and are in no financial position to support children.
It's a fucking scary world. I'm not sure how I'm gonna deal with it either…
No. 524084
File: 1583983343181.jpg (428.9 KB, 1280x1760, monster_by_odori_dcunbk5-fullv…)
Hello there, fellow anons. I'm feeling… uh… really, really gutted.
President Trump just issued a 30-day ban on all travel between the US and Europe, not including the UK, for Coronavirus-related reasons. I'm in the US and was supposed to be moving to my husband in Northern Ireland (NI's in the UK, but he's an EU citizen with no UK citizenship) in the last week of this month… that's now, unfortunately, a scrapped plan until the ban ends. We've been married since February of last year and haven't been together in person since October. I'm not sure how much longer either of us can manage this emotionally, especially since we've spent more than a year (and a countless amount of various currency) preparing specifically for our method of travel. The UK hasn't issued any travel bans between itself and Europe at the current moment, but it's likely that it soon will.
Neither him nor I have any kind of visa, mainly due to the fact that we've already spent so much on past travels and hiring immigration lawyers that we can't currently afford one. It's possible that later down the line, one or either of us could, but since we're married I can (read: legally should be able to) stay in the UK for 90 days with no visa and apply for pre-settled status during that time, which would give me the right to live and work there without citizenship. I tried moving to Northern Ireland with him (as in, actually in person with him, he flew to the US beforehand so he could fly back home with me) in July of last year, through Dublin, which is in the EU. I found out then that they don't like people crossing the EU/UK border in NI when entering through Ireland. I was denied entry on the three bases of:
1. Not having "enough" money to support myself during the time I arrived and the time I would've applied for pre-settled status, even though I would've also been financially assisted by my husband and his family while there until I could work,
2. Not having a visa (a US spouse of an EU citizen can stay in the UK for 90 days with no visa, but because I was in Ireland they implemented their own laws concerning non-visa stay which are more restrictive, and
3. Border customs' contempt for the fact that I flew to Dublin and planned to get a bus up to NI rather than flying directly into the NI from the US, even though my husband and I both explained that there were no direct flights into the UK from the airports I live near (only to Ireland) and that my husband who lives in the UK took a bus down to Ireland that exact same day to fly out of Dublin and was not once stopped or asked for identification, even though he crossed country borders.
That day ended with me being separated from my husband at the airport, being detained for six hours while my belongings (including my phone and laptop) were confiscated and searched, and then being sent back home with nothing but my purse and its junk because my luggage got lost in transport. The airport/airline didn't find my luggage until December, about five months after it'd been lost. I lost everything in the meantime and had to buy new clothing and hygiene products when I returned to the US. Before boarding the returning flight (which I ended up having to pay for - rock-bottom financial moment in my life) the border agents made me sign two documents as "evidence" of my entry denial, and I was told I'd have to bring those with me and show them to customs if I ever enter Ireland again for any reason. My passport now has a permanent "denial of entry to Ireland" stamp that's recorded and can be seen by the border customs of any country I visit. Needless to say, we've since avoided Ireland as much as possible, except for when he flew out of Dublin to come see me in October because there was no other option.
The reason our second (current) plan is now "scrapped" is that much like in our first travel, where the only airports I could get to didn't have direct flights to the UK (and with the added complication of now having to avoid Ireland), this ban means he can only fly from the UK to the US to meet me before we go. He's only ever been able to get a direct flight to me from the airport in Dublin, the way he visited in October, not without first enduring an intense hour-long border agent questioning session. In the off chance that he'd find a direct flight from the UK to an airport close to me, we can't stick to our initial plan of then flying from the New York airport to the Amsterdam airport, then from the Amsterdam airport to the airport directly in his hometown, until this ban ends which will hopefully be after said 30 days and no longer. Our biggest issue is that I need to move there and successfully apply for pre-settled status before January 2021, when Brexit begins its implementation in full legal effect. My current immigration method, while legal right now due to Northern Ireland citizenship complications, won't be legal and won't work post-Brexit. My husband just visited our immigration lawyer yesterday but now he'll have to book another appointment with him, since this changes everything.
These next nine months are going to be make-or-break for us…
I apologize for the major blogpost. I'm just not sure, practically or emotionally, what to do about this. Pic isn't related, it's just a nice drawing I like. Any words of advice, wisdom, even just adding on with your own experience or rambling would help me feel better. I appreciate this thread.
No. 524087
>>523817No. People need to put shit down sometimes. I don’t own the counter.
Isn’t that why they have dividers?
No. 524100
File: 1583987528588.jpg (21.88 KB, 500x415, 886b97e.jpg)
Two days ago I had a sudden seizure while eating and my fiancé had to stop me from choking to death on corn chips, apparently I turned blue and fell off the bed onto the hard floor. No warning or anything, earliest thing I remember is panicking about not wanting to go in an ambulance after coming to.
Docs at the hospital says it was brought on by seratonin syndrome and my GP should have informed me that some of my new meds were ssri meds and that having been on two antibiotics courses for a suture infection would lower the threshold for serotonin syndrome. I should have looked them up but damn.
I feel like death and rib cage is in agony after having the food whacked out. I feel so weird and horrible, never been this close to death and fucking hell, what a dignified way to go, choking on corn chips. I don't really know how to ground myself again, I feel so empty.
Any self care tips please anons?
No. 524115
>>524084I feel for you anon and hope the situation gets worked out. I'm lucky enough that my EU based Fiance just got here to the US three days ago on the K-1 Visa and hearing the European travel ban news today made my mind run with a million "what ifs" of him not having got here in time.
January 2021 is very close in the Immigration world but I'm sure you'll find an avenue to make this work before then. Also, I know money is an issue, but if you or your husband aren't loving your current immigration lawyer don't be afraid to find a new one.
No. 524118
File: 1583994350324.jpg (49.81 KB, 430x245, unnamed.jpg)
>>524100I hope I can help a little since I went through a near death situation as well anon. I had an accident while skateboarding like an idiot and I was in an induced coma for quite some time. I also felt this sense of emptiness when I woke up and they told me I was very lucky. I didn't feel lucky, I felt stupid. I could've died being a dumb kid. Self care wise, everyone handles things differently. I personally took it day by day and spent time with the things and people that comforted me most. For me that was my cats, my bf at the time, and my hobbies. If you work, take time off if you can. Take all the time you can for yourself to process.
If the feeling doesn't go to way, I would suggest therapy. Again everyone is different, but l went to therapy because I couldn't shake the emptiness and this weird guilt. My therapist told me some people get that idea stuck in their head they're supposed to appreciate life more but sometimes things just happen and it doesn't have to be life changing. While the situation is scary and can make you lose ground, it doesn't have to be that heavy or meaningful in that sense. Things happen, and life luckily for us kept going, don't get too caught up in the what if.
You're engaged, you're okay, and all the pain is temporary. If you feel the emptiness sticks with you and you dwell on it try to seek some support system like therapy or maybe forums where people went through near death so you can talk about it. Sorry if this wasn't quite the same feelings or what you were looking for but my heart goes out to you and I hope you feel better soon.
No. 524183
>>524167I feel you anon, I have pretty treatment resistant depression and have exhausted most options over the years(in terms of medication, I had a horrible reaction to SSRI’s and no other meds worked).
I just don’t want to hurt my family or have them think it’s their fault, even though I know i’m a burden to them.
No. 524184
>>524179I agree. Especially with Ian, he’s a bigger cow than Anisa if I’m being honest…(evident in pear’s discord leaks a while back)
Any drama going on with them recently, or in the past year? I haven’t kept up.
No. 524187
>>524165Is it possible for you to see your GP, get some referral to a psych or addiction specialist treatment/program/hotline even? Kicking addiction (not to mention one that's years old) is hard enough on your own and you do sound like you need help with that - someone to talk to or keep you accountable. You have done some damage but it doesn't make you a write-off and recovery is absolutely possible.
It's not going to fix your whole life obviously but it'll leave you in a much better position to start rebuilding and it's never too late for that.
Addiction is best friends with isolation and they go hand in hand. Start prying that off you and make an appointment.
No. 524192
>>524184I agree, I hate him so much and he has one of the worst fandoms of any youtuber.
I don't even think Anisa is that much of a cow, she's too boring. I get she embodies everything lolcow hates, being 5/10 NLOG pick me trying pathetically hard to appeal to gamer boys, but she doesn't really do anything worthy of so many threads.
Also, the jealousy toward her from the bulk of anons in those threads isn't even thinly veiled. It blows my mind that so many farmers lust this hard over a scrawny gamer autist pushing 30 that still thinks saying "nigger faggot" is peak comedy.
No. 524193
>>524138Update: She got a hold of me and went on a 2 hour rant of playing the crying concerned mother who's at her limits, talked about nothing but herself and forced me to confess 'what she did wrong to make me be like this(in response of me saying me being quiet and "emotionless" is a coping mechanism)' and then went on for another projection and
victim playing parade, saying I blamed her for being a horrible mother who did everything wrong and downplaying her actions while also throwing in how she's suicidal because of me and using everything I said against me to the point she constantly accuses me of doing the things she's doing.. And of course, it's always only me who needs to change.
No. 524196
File: 1584015392196.jpg (94.07 KB, 750x1000, Narcs.jpg)
>>524138>>524193She'll never change or see fault in anything wrong she's done towards you. At the end of the day, they all believe that you deserve what you got from them. Pic related.
The only thing that ever "cured" my relationship with my narcissist mom was keeping her at arm's length and grey rocking whenever I am forced to see her in person. Good luck anon, it's rough having personality disordered parents.
No. 524200
>>523826That's not how removing birth control works, you're not gonna get hairy and go through a second puberty. At worst you might have mood swings and a temporary acne breakout.
Your boyfriend is not going to leave you because he can't creampie you, and if he actually did it is clealry not a loss. Just make sure that no.matter what he says, you don't have sex without another real BC method (pulling out and rythm method do not count!).
No. 524209
>>524187I recently got health insurance so finally it’s an option(I was without it for a while, so I ended up paying out of pocket for my scripts to be refilled )
I’m not sure which route to take though, whether I should go inpatient for a week in a psych ward to stabilize myself or just make an apt with a psychiatrist.
I know going to the hospital is probably my best bet, but I had horrible experiences as a teen. They ended up putting me on Xanax prior to adderall(I was on both simultaneously for a while), I tapered off of Xanax successfully 5-6 months ago, and strangely enough it wasn’t that hard. I was also put on a bunch of other medications that I had adverse reactions to and they didn’t take me seriously. I don’t know why prescription amphetamines have such a strong psychological grip on me when you really can’t become physically dependent on them. I think once I get past the initial phase of WD for the first few weeks it might become easier, especially if I’m monitored in case I have suicidal ideation.
I called a few IOP centers but the waitlists are insane, they do bump you ahead if you have a referral after an acute hospitalization, I’m going to have to bite the bullet I think and go. It might not be as bad as an adult bc ppl who go in voluntarily are separated /in a different unit from those who are admitted against their will(in my state , they don’t have that for the pediatric unit, we were all lumped together )
Thank you anon.
No. 524215
File: 1584017421381.jpg (26.84 KB, 474x754, b1c715e00cf674093dad0eb591fa61…)
Nobody talks nicely about me. Nobody praises my work. I get in my feels when I see others being praised by others, knowing that doesn't happen to me. Oh well…
No. 524219
>>524138Anon, MOVE. NOW.
I recently cut off my narc mother and I regret not doing it sooner. When I was living with her she made me feel like literally the worst human being ever. I felt guilty for just being alive. I moved away, got into therapy and feel like a whole human again. Just leave, as soon as possible. For your own sanity's sake.
No. 524224
>>524215Same anon. My old job I was damn amazing with customers but they didn't care until a few months after I quit. Always insulted my work or had random bad rumors about me from coworkers. People always thought I was mean when I hadn't even talked to them. If I was lucky I was just ignored at school, but that had cons too. Even when I thought I was the better artist in a server someone else got praise.
I've gotten used to being unnoticed.
No. 524241
File: 1584021820237.jpg (63.88 KB, 933x715, 1540586980924.jpg)
I know the only way to get out of minimum wage/part time hell is going to college. But I don't want to go to college to waste my time and money on something that isn't even a guarantee. Almost every person I know that got a degree is -spoiler alert- STILL working a shitty retail/food service job for minimum wage. The only ones I know that aren't went into nursing. And the market is already flooded for that, plus I know I would fucking hate doing it. At this point, I'm just waiting for death to take me because the effort to live even a life of struggle is getting to be too much.
No. 524267
>>524241I understand completely anon. I have a friend who majored in computer science/IT and still can't find a job in his field 2 years later. He's been working retail that entire time now. You are absolutely right in that getting a degree doesn't promise a job, even if you have connections. And besides, even if you get the degree it doesn't mean you'll enjoy the job and can handle doing it for the rest of your life. My brother used to make 100k/year as an actuary but he couldn't handle how boring and pointless it was so he quit a year and a half later… Yup. 4 years of higher education and he wasn't even the field for that long.
Anyway, it seems like such a risk unless you are passionate about a field that will promise you good returns, or you're soulless enough to work in fields you'd hate for the money.
No. 524299
Few days ago I hanged out with my coworker (who’s like 20 years older than me), we got pretty close for the past few months and I can count on her to tell about my problems and troubles and she does the same with me. It feels nice knowing we have so much in common (personality wise, failed relationships, troubled families and a well damn broken past), I truly love her support and I like to know I’m there for her too.
I want to talk my best friend about all of this and I wondered why I wasn’t doing it, what was holding me back and I came to the conclusion that I don’t do it because she always judges me. And by always, I mean all the time. Starting by the things I ate, what I want to study, how I plan to spend my free time, she always has something to say and almost always is something wrong or judgemental about it.
I don’t know how I was so blind for so long. I always felt dumb next to her, as she was so much smarter than me, always knowing things I didn’t, so intelligent and talkative but truth is I always felt like I had to prove myself to her in some ways.
I was listening to a song and the lyrics said something like “if I have to explain myself, I have to apologize too” and that hurt because I think this is what I did for years, always acting naive or joking around her so she would assume I didn’t know shit or I was just stupid so she wouldn’t tell me off for everything.
I remember a very specific day when I was feeling so tired because I didn’t sleep well and she was talking about some course we took together and I was correcting her, she kept telling me I was wrong even when I know I was 100% sure and started questioning me why I was saying what I was saying…So instead of answering her the same thing I was repeating over and over again, I just started asking her questions about the topic so she could explain herself like she always does, just because she likes to talk and talk and talk and never listen, because I couldn’t be bothered anymore and I wanted her to stop pushing me to give her the exact answer she wanted.
I’m so pissed at myself right now…
No. 524324
File: 1584037289161.png (196.82 KB, 719x1024, quote.png)
I feel this
No. 524350
File: 1584042933684.jpg (88.25 KB, 640x619, 464.jpg)
My brother might get torn to shreds by my mom on his b day. His cousins decided to make a birthday collage of all their in jokes.
>gay couple kissing in the background
>Anons brother big gay
>anons brother fooks his sister
My brothers 14, but dad still make him click speed up on kissing scenes and my mom thinks a women with green lip gloss is to radical. It's one of those things you just roll your eyes as teen stuff, but I know my mom is going to make a big deal out of it. Shes going to call my cousins parents, she's going to integrate me (im in the chat though I mute it), then she'll tell our dad then hell intergate use. I just don't want to deal with it.
No. 524439
>>524350Same anon. The birthday was a mess. The high lights are
>Parents ignored everything my brother asked for in exchange for my moms 'brilliant' ideas>He asked only for a 3d puzzle set, but my mom got some 5 dollar Chinese knockoff lego>Bought an add-on gift without owning the original to the add on because they didn't read>One thing my mom clearly bought for herself >Spent 120+ when they could have made him happy with a 20 dollar 3d puzzle >Mom see's he's disappointed and says 'go cry in your bedroom' >Mom tells me he's a disappointment when eh leaves the room I feel like shit because if he keeps on being like these she'll get so angry she'll yell at him. I don't want to tell the kid to pretend to be happy on his birthday either.
This is all after
>brother wants ps4>works everyday doing chores for money>buys ps4 after 3 months> 'anons brother shouldn't get a birthday gift because he technically bought the PS4 with out money so it's technically a birthday gift' straight to his face No. 524584
>>524196Yes you're right, I heard distancing yourself is the best and only real thing one can do. But it still kind of a shame.. I get the feeling she does see her faults and understands them and even has empathy for a moment, she just absolutely can't ever admit them and thus only ever sees problems in others. It's like something in her shuts down as soon as she realises the truth and she then spends all of her energy twisting the reality until it's her vs. the whole world against her. JUST so that she doesn't have to admit that she hurt me. All I wanted was for her to fully understand what she did and still does and sincerely apologize for it. Nothing more. And yet, it seems impossible.. Instead, she justified herself, downplayed everything and tried her hardest to make me feel guilty for being hurt and invalidate it. It just sucks.
But thank you. Are you doing well without her? How were the first times after you stopped the contact with her? How did she react?
>>524219Thank you for sharing anon, your experience is exactly what I daydream about for a long time now. I'm glad things are working out for you. I'm working on moving out but still have to be a bit more patient because of paper work and a better financial cushion, since I'll have to take 3 pets with me and plan to move to another city to make finishing my degree easier. Were you able to move out without complications from your narc mother?
No. 524605
>>524126fuck, hope you're okay anon.
if you're gonna get the scrape don't wait around. good luck
No. 524630
File: 1584078269435.jpg (285.13 KB, 1200x630, Asobi-Asobase-RFI.jpg)
I've been trying to make more girl friends but it's really stressful cause I constantly worry how I come across and I hate being so awkward and never knowing what to say and I can still only get that warm feeling of being understood by listening to female musicians am I just retarded
No. 524849
>>524840I'm so sorry that you missed a lot of fun childhood stuff as well, anon… it fucking sucks, especially it will never be as special when you are an adult (but still is a great experience).
I told him so many times but I guess we would have to order it together (which would take away some of the fun of it) cause he is even unable to shop online for himself. On the other hand we have a pastry shop in the same mall he bought the supplies so he could have ordered it if he decided on the shape/picture. It kills me because it's such a small, stupid thing but I really wanted to get pampered like this and it never happens…
in the worst case with coronavirus it may never happen now lmfaoI wish he made me feel important enough to give me what I want. I always felt jealous of people that have plenty of friends who adore them and obsess over making them happy.
No. 524981
File: 1584132200916.png (19.59 KB, 360x352, 54445475.png)
I've had literally enough of this entire Corona thing. Everywhere I go, I hear about it. Anytime I turn on the TV, go on the Internet or even try to talk to my family members, it's the only thing that gets talked about and I get that it's a very serious epidemic disease, but please. I've nearly had 4 panic attacks daily over this for the past few days and at this point I just want to forget about it. Even if it's for a tiny bit. I suddenly miss my boring old days I had BEFORE all of this started. I regret complaining about them so much, I'd kill to have them back now. No worries, no anxiety, just boredom.
No. 524991
>>524989Dude I have
diagnosed anxiety, of course I am going to freak out over this. If it was that easy to ignore like you are implying right now, then I already would've done something else instead of, you know, coming here to rant.
>>524986It doesn't work. My only option is to either take a nap or play a video game. But I cannot do any of that because I need to work from home and attend online classes.
No. 525011
>>525009My little brother was bullied at that age too. One day he just snapped and assaulted one of the kids with a skateboard. He got in trouble but they didn’t bother him afterwards. Unfortunately sometimes violence is the only way to communicate to these shitheads that you had enough.
Where do you live? Can you get away with asking some male friends to intimidate those snot nosed assholes?
No. 525015
>>525011i live in europe and i unfortunately only know this one guy from my middle school (i have no friends otherwise) and he lives like 8 hours away from me so i don't think that anything will happen with him. i even 'jokingly' asked him on anonym on this one site if he'd beat someone up if i paid him and he said that no he cannot do that he's a softie yadda yadda even though he's all buff and intimidating
i also considered putting up an ad online or something like that but man, that's also kinda pathetic isn't it? paying someone to beat or intimidate some little kids but i wish they'd just leave him the fuck alone without me having to do any that (which i consider to be my very very very last option)
but thank you for your answer
>>525010thank you and you're seriously right, i agree with everything you've said 100%
the only good thing is that his last day of school is next tuesday which means he won't see them for a month
No. 525055
>>524981>>524991I also have anxiety as well as depression and guess what? I'm dying because I may lose my job and I have no idea how I will survive then.
Seriously fuck you for whining how bad you feel at your safe home, with your job and classes cause you have to hear about covid19.
No. 525061
File: 1584144009624.gif (3.44 MB, 480x270, CBF62F0B-BE6D-4E33-9649-B5F6A8…)
let the oppression and "my problem is worse than yours" olympics begin!
No. 525105
>>524811imo, she's much less annoying than regina spektor. spektor is pretty irritating to me, mostly because the themes in her songs really aren't that relatable to the average person, it's just too much whimsy for me. a lot of female musicians are like that and i can't deal. i'm really not sure which is the most accessible. i guess tidal would be, it's more calm than her others. her 'prettiest' songs are probably on there. i really love that her recordings fluctuate between anger, and just the general sense of being deflated and disappointed, especially because that's often how i feel. like anon said, she wrote most of tidal at like, 16, and tidal isn't a "good for a 16 year old" album, either. it's a top tier album no matter her age.
>>525080exactly. this always seems to happen, if people even get around to putting in a genuine listen. i swear, everyone overlooks her because she's not histrionic and her music isn't inaccessible. i love that she's lowkey and that her lyrics and song meanings are all relatable, not just pointlessly 'eccentric' flowery lyrics that don't really communicate anything. i feel like so many female musicians just have senselessly purpley prose that don't relay any relatable themes to the listenener. i love how genuinely frustrated and disappointed she seems. you can definitely hear the emotion in her voice. i love that her emotions never seem 'put on' or angry or disappointed just for the aesthetic, and that she doesn't have a real "image" that she tries to purposely cultivate. she just does her thing without trying to dress or act weird.
No. 525151
File: 1584163576877.png (188.29 KB, 512x384, margeinchains4_thumb.png)
I caught feelings for my best friend who's been in a relationship with someone for a couple of years now. It's honestly the strongest (and hardest) crush I've ever experienced and I'm trying really hard to distance myself but stay polite and even that is so difficult. I've deleted pictures, hidden their stories on social media and erased their contact from my phone but it's still killing me. Anyone here successfully moved on from someone willing to share some tips?
No. 525252
File: 1584203865316.png (39.28 KB, 600x500, qD2ByG83DT.png)
Here to vent about renting with my stepdad and how weird and frustrating it's been.
I'm constantly getting kicked out of my own apartment that I pay half for because he wants special nights alone with his new girlfriends he brings over. He's finally somewhat steady with a woman he's been dating for two months. Yet she's the complete opposite to him which begs the question as to why they're really dating. I don't remember where he said they met IF he told me, but she's newly emigrated here. I know the last younger woman he met was through work. Both women have young children. I feel like he seeks out these younger women with children so he can get off on the ego of feeling like the manly provider–same circumstances he met my mom under. He's already taken this new woman on an international resort vacation (while blowing up at me whenever money is tight and constantly bitching).
Right now they look like a stereotype with a creepy age gap thrown in. He likes her because he's a boring white guy on the doorstep of 60, and she's about 20+ years younger than him so she's more "fun." She's African black which paints her as ~exotic~ in his eyes. Makes my eyes roll because up to this point he's never been interested in foreign cultures yet now because he's dating a black woman he's suddenly woke. Except he's only woke for black culture now, as he's still completely fine saying racial shit about the hispanic people he works with, or any minority culture that he still doesn't really like such as asian culture.
I get the feeling these single mothers are tolerating my stepdad because they think he can offer them financial stability, as he pretends to be super savvy. I want to tell them the truth, they ought to run away now while they still can. He owes the IRS over $20k for unreported taxes, and made a lot of really fucked up financial decisions that my pickme mother constantly bailed them out of. I'm honestly shocked that these women don't find splitting rent with his adult daughter as a major red flag despite the fact that he makes three times as much as me. Yet I'm sure he's spun a story to them about how I must need him or something.
Just as an example: I've been stocking our empty pantry with non-perishable food due to corona (he's been complaining like a toddler because it's not sugary cereals and junk food) but I had to because we may be quarantined and we had nothing. We also needed laundry, cleaning, and hygiene supplies. I spent $300 for a month's supply. Well, he was telling me it was a good thing because he had no money due to him never following up with his truck registration, blowing it off, and then having to pay over $400 with late penalty fees. Completely irresponsible, but as of two days ago that was his excuse for not helping me to buy stuff for our wellbeing. His girlfriend is coming over tonight and I'm to be spending the night at a friend's house. He calls me to ask if I can help him haul up groceries. Groceries? After I just bought a pantry full of food? Well, he bought himself and her fresh expensive fruits, fresh seafood, cocktail and mixers, wine, snacks, and store bread (after I said I would attempt to make bread with the ingredients I had bought). So clearly I misunderstood when he said he "didn't have money," he meant to say he only had enough money to impress his new girlfriend. No money for this virus nonsense.
I'm getting ahead of myself by talking about the money he blew on fresh groceries today anyway, I must mention the awkward dinner he spent $120 on last night.
She came over last night to join us with his friends to go out to dinner. I really didn't want to go but I didn't want to give off the impression that I was socially ostracizing myself from her and the friends. It was only my second time meeting her. I'm usually not one to judge on dress choices, yet I couldn't help to notice how flamboyantly she arrived (tight peach cling dress with huge shoulder ruffles bedazzled with rhinestones and shiny high heels) for a joint that's pretty low key. Meanwhile my stepdad wasn't nearly as dressed to impress, because when does he ever? She's fashionable and he's a walking milquetoast, polo shirt with jeans-wearing old fart.
While we were waiting for his friends to say they were ready, we sat around in the apartment. It was really awkward. He did that annoying thing where he said he had to go do something like brush his teeth for 15 fucking minutes hoping that we'd strike up a conversation. I was polite, smiley, and tried to ask her questions but she seemed very quiet and reserved. She didn't reciprocate at all and didn't ask me anything about myself, which is a major tonal shift from what he's told me about her that is that she's so bubbly, positive, chatty, and asks about me. It didn't change much when the friends got there and we were all seated at the restaurant for dinner. They both got an expensive pasta dish and wine, but I ordered a $10 sandwich and water. Probably out of the subconscious money guilting he gave me the other day. She was very quiet the entire time, which I'll chalk up to shyness for now but I imagine she's much more extroverted when she's got the old man alone. And you know, I don't even think they really have much chemistry between them. He leads her a lot, especially when she was trying to decide on the menu, and she kind of just follows. Same with their conversations. Honestly wanted to tell him to pump the brakes a bit, it really put me off how he was treating her like a little kid who couldn't understand a menu or order for herself.
I mean she's perfect for my control freak stepdad for now, but the second she tells him no or resists him in any way, is gonna be where the real test of this relationship will begin.
On the way out of the restaurant she was catcalled by some punk hanging out a raised SUV. It was degrading and embarrassing but of course my stepdad took it as a compliment and was giddy that he had what another man wanted to fuck. We drove separately, so I went home expecting that they'd both return to the apartment but apparently she left without saying goodbye. Meh.
He's talking about wanting to move out at the end of the lease, so hopefully I can get a roommate and not have to deal with this anymore. Thanks for reading my blog.
No. 525281
File: 1584208921640.jpeg (9.04 KB, 300x229, 77D75A14-9EE0-4962-8DBD-B37ACB…)
so of course I have to listen unnecessary repetitive and non asked advice but the moment I do the same to them all I get are standard answers just because
No. 525328
>>525309After my mom committed suicide and I felt hopeless and like I have no future I turned to online sex work because my dignity was taken from me when I was 8 and sexually abused anyway and when I was 17 and in the mental hospital I got groomed by a 55 year old man who introduced me to a policeman from my country that was involved with camming studios that have very non-ethical ways of conducting their activity. At the time I was abusing benzos and my mind is very foggy but they would both have sex with me and the police man guy took me to the camming studio because I was "smart" and knew english, that's my first contact with online sex work. After that I told myself since my life is fucked anyway, I could at least make some money so I completely cut contact with them and did camming from home for a couple of weeks then quit because I thought I should give life another chance.
After both my grandmother and my mom died I decided to turn to sex work again considering that I was homeless and pretty fucked up again. When I started camming again I got targeted by this other sex worker that hated me just because I existed and she sent her entire fanbase after me and spent literally all the resources she had to hurt me for no reason.
They managed to find my country, find my college, doxx me, make hundreds of facebook accounts messaging people from my college with nude pictures of me. The only thing that I had gooing for me in the past months has been college and I loved philosophy and loved my professors so much that it felt like I was being reborn from dust. My professors were very appreciative of my essays and of my thinking which made me extremely happy and now I cannot go there anymore. I cannot go to college anymore because I am a whore slut that everybody hates and that doesn't deserve respect.
Everybody looked down on me the last time I went there and it was very stressful and the jokes they make about me and the memes they make about me are terrible and it's like I don't even have the right to speak anymore because now I am a whore.
No. 525346
>>525328I will have to do this forever from now on because my future is ruined but I don't wanna do it because I hate it and because my life's been so chaotic it is not even what I wanted to do. Wish me good luck on finding the courage to kill myself.
Nothing helps anymore right now. Not even therapy, it feels stupid. I go to this woman that had the opportunity to put her shit together and she doesn't even understand what I tell her about online sex work and how my life is compromised because of it because she doesn't know how things work.
My literal therapist told me >you shouldn't be ashamed that you have done it a lot of women do that nowadays and they are proud and confident you should be too and you shouldn't give a fuck about people telling you about how you are a whore.
After I proceeded trying to explain to her how my naked body is linked to my real name on the internet and I tried to explain what the world "doxxing" means she literally told me >now you're making me think you are not on the spectrum but just have bpd and you're trying to blow things out of proportion to give yourself an excuse to commit suicide
sorry for writing so incoherently i snorted way too much ketamine
I loved people and I loved the world so much. Did I do this to myself ??? I keep asking myself this because I don't wanna hate life and how the world works but I cannot lie to myself I already hate myself but now I hate the world too because I didn't ask to be sexually abused at 8, I didn't ask to be born in a dysfunctional family in eastern europe, I didn't ask to spend my childhood in fucking slums with no toilet. I didn't have a toilet until I was 8-9 and moved in with my dad. We would all defecate in our yards and I remember pooping with the chicken around me just to look at my poop and see how it was full of intestinal worms and now I have to watch entitled men and women on the internet tell me what suffering is i profoundly hate myself and the world it is all worse than I could even imagine
No. 525351
File: 1584213834751.jpg (484.74 KB, 1203x2270, 20200314_152223.jpg)
I hate that if a girl gets pissed off all a guy needs to do is go "oh lol that bitch was crazy bruhhhhhhh"
To disregard anything she says. He did steal 35 dollars from me and he did use me for sex. Idk how he feels I'm crazy lol
No. 525354
File: 1584214262067.jpg (491.29 KB, 1246x2139, 20200314_152614.jpg)
>>525351Not to mention I removed him from my friends on snapchat weeks ago and a few days ago he comes back trying to add me. I didnt add him. He was probably horny or some shit
I was this same "crazy bitch" the last time I blocked him.
Now that I bring up him manipulating me into sex by claiming he likes me, calling me baby and the fact that i want my money back…now its "oh bruh you're crazy duddeeeeeee"again. A few weeks ago he wanted sex and I said "why do you want to fuck a crazy person?".
It's fine being crazy when he wants his dick wet I guess.
No. 525444
>>525435If the concept of "self-love" was dependent on validation from people other than you it wouldn't be called
self-love so yes. It is possible to learn to care less about what they think.
No. 525504
>>525444>>525436>>525444anon is right though. people say "self love" without realizing you need a respite from constant negativity to be able to develop self love. that's not to say you need positive reinforcement from others to develop it, just a break from negativity. most people who preach self love aren't in environments where they're inescapably surrounded by negativity or abuse. they're usually just in neutral environments that aren't especially supportive. that's a much easier situation to develop or nurture self love in, than a highly negative one. as usual, it's more "self help" nonsense that ignores the larger context of
abusive environments and shifts more blame and responsibility on abuse sufferers.
No. 525518
File: 1584240503741.png (788.42 KB, 841x1459, index.png)
I hope pt is okay. It has been too long..
No. 525551
>>525546As someone who has been in that situation at work, it is not you. At a previous job, a coworker who knew I was anxious gaslight me (going to long lengths) into thinking I blacked out. I was thinking that will always happen, it was all me, but turns out that's not true. I got a different job, with the nicest people. I did something deeply embarassing, like extremely airheaded, and ya know what? They made a few jokes, but stayed respectful. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's not you. Embrace yourself, clutziness and all, and know you may find yourself accepted in the right environment.
No. 525653
>>525435>>525504It can be done but you have to be persistent. You're trying to undo years of brainwashing from retard family and peers, you can't just change your thinking for one day and expect to be better. It's not your fault that you absorbed this shit without thinking, because it likely started from childhood and children are so impressionable. They absorb all the shit around them and internalize it.
That's why when you're a more conscious adult, it's important to think why you suddenly take the random shit that people say as true. Why do you lie down and accept the abuse without challenging it? Who the fuck calls a child trash, and what kind of person does that make them? Imagine if you saw another mother doing that to a child. Wouldn't you defend the child and scorn the mother? Wouldn't you tell them it's alright and try to protect them? Think that way of yourself.
No. 525732
>>525728 > I work in a supermarket andMe too, hard/busy day here but people are stressed out and I get that.
> literally just kill yourself..
No. 525737
>>525728The thing I hate is
>oh gee pandemic we can’t get in contact with anyone>got to go out grocery shopping every day for the next week My parents are doing this right now and all I can think is how annoying and overwhelming it is for the store employees to deal with all the boomers like them that get off to disasters.
No. 525814
>>525738You are mad/10.
Said it because I used to be a cashier in college and shit would be a nuthouse before, during, and after shitty weather for weeks depending on the duration and how bad and if it was declared an emergency. Holidays were a shitshow too.
You're complaining about a literal feature of your job and acting like it's anything new. It isn't. It's not a job for you.
As for if cashiers were gone tomorrow, I'd just use the self checkout like I typically do, granted they could pay one of you to stand at the kiosk. Use your big brain and calm down.
No. 525868
File: 1584302717373.jpeg (176.03 KB, 710x1065, C1DB6549-5ACF-423D-9E2F-24417A…)
I have a sugar addiction. I’m not overweight (maybe not YET) but my diet is such shit. I eat so much chocolate and sugary, processed shit. I’m depressed and it’s one of the only things that still gives me pleasure. I’m scared for my health but I don’t know how to stop. I don’t exercise either. I think if I don’t end up committing suicide when I’m young, I will die of t2 diabetes or heart disease. My dad had a heart attack a few years ago and his side of the family has heart problems. I’m scared but I’m addicted to junk food and I don’t know how to eat like a normal person anymore. I’ve been like this for years now.
No. 525981
>>525916>>525908I might start trying to go to the gym in my apartment complex and do some jogging/speedwalking on the treadmill for at LEAST 20-30min.
>>525909I’ll probably try to slowly stave off junk food. Like only letting myself have anything sugary every OTHER day and then decreasing even more. I know it sounds sad but you’re right about cold turkey being a setup for failure.
>>525958>every time I think about changing my eating habits I end up going right back to where I was.YES, that’s exactly what happens with me. It’s so hard to stop. I feel like sugar/junk food addiction should be more recognized.
No. 526086
File: 1584334674773.jpg (82.79 KB, 944x856, EQscyViWoAA77EQ.jpg)
Not sure if this belongs in the stupid questions thread, but I guess this is more of a vent than anything. I go through phases frequently where I'll just become unbelievably horny for no reason and the smallest thing could set me off and make me start imagining all of these sexual fantasies literally out of nowhere, like when I'm waiting in line at the grocery store or reading a paper for school. The thing is in reality I'm pretty much the opposite of sexually active, as I've had really little interest (especially recently) in pursuing a romantic relationship/hookup/anything similar. I'm assuming this is probably a hormonal thing, but these phases don't really seem to follow any sort of pattern in relation to my period cycle. Whenever I'm alone at home I just start feeling myself up under my shirt when I'm doing the most mundane thing like checking my email or writing stuff for school. It's not even masturbating because I don't do it to get off. It just feels nice the same way I play with my hair or crack my knuckles out of habit when I'm bored and trying to concentrate on something.
Anyway now that I'm cooped up in my house because of coronavirus, this has become more apparent to me and I'm not sure if this is normal? I'm definitely way too ashamed to ask my friends about this, so I'm just wondering if this is relatively normal or if I'm basically the equivalent of a cumbrain or am just really sexually repressed.
No. 526132
File: 1584343507932.gif (608.26 KB, 500x282, 77464e3093800dbd78401ff619b057…)
I can't work from home because I have shitty internet there, therefore I have to keep traveling to work via public transport. I'm so pissed that everyone else gets to stay home, talks about how they care about their family as if I fucking don't like I have a choice. I'm also part of the high risk group since I have breathing issues so fucking yey.
No. 526414
>>526311Same crap with me
Doesn't help that I stay in my room all day everyday, being friendless and lastly having an unsupportive dysfunctional shit family
No. 526427
>>526311Same… I have a plan in mind, take the first steps and then
something happens, and I don't have the power to fight against it. I gave up, really, I just live in the moment.
No. 526447
Warning: a lot of selfpitying and stupidass venting
I am an autistic woman, although my autism is not that “bad” and I manage to live a “normal” life. For all my life I have had a bad relationship with my appearance, going from “I don’t care” to “I’m ugly I deserve to die”.
Growing up I learnt how to dress and do make up or arrange my hair, discovering that in fact I appear as nice looking at the eyes of others and, sometimes I too think I can be “more than cute”.
Since I moved to a bigger city, I tried to be “like other girls” and dressing feminine and doing myself up, which was a nice boost in my selfconfidence and my sensuality boosted up, too. But I felt like I was forcing myself to act and pretend I was more “girly” and less of a “tomboy”. As if it weren’t even my life I was living. It caused me severe anxiety to the point I shaved my head on a whim.
I got into a nice relationship with a man I love, and the more I grew comfortable with myself as a person the more I grew uncomfortable trying to “dress up” and be someone I felt I was not. Everytime I wore a skirt and acted “girly” I felt bad about behaving not-like-myself.
Thing is, it’s being a lot I haven’t dressed myself up, I wear more tomboyish clothes and do light makeup, but I feel bad about my appearance once again, I’d like to feel sexy and beautiful and have real selfconfidence and not the “fake sexyness”. It’s affecting my sex life too, since I’m growing more and more uncomfortable with my movements and my image. I love to look at beautiful and sexy girls, but everytime I do I feel more and more like a blob compared to them and even if my libido is still the same I don’t act on it because in my head I am this horrendous blob no matter how many times my bf and friends tell me how beautiful I am.
I don’t have anyone to speak to, since all others say is “don’t feel like that, you’re beautiful blahblah” and I end up feeling guilty and hating myself even more and being even more conscious of being overweight and clumsy and compare myself to those sexy girls confident enought to show their boobs on camera despite its size.
No. 526454
>>526447Maybe you do look like a dump and your friends and loved ones are just being nice, and unless you rely on looks for work, it really doesn't matter what the actual case is.
Sounds like your low self esteem affects your ability to be able to take a compliment or be comfortable with yourself. That's beyond "I need people to vent to" and more like you've gotta get therapy.
No. 526460
File: 1584385032814.jpg (7.12 KB, 236x236, 4d6a0c28b9d07eaf96dc7dedf3fe36…)
So my piece of shit bastard of a father just lied to me and made me cry.i had a gut feeling it was false but I fell for it anyway.damn it I hope coronavirus kills him,I hate crying so much I already did like 4 times this month,I tell myself not to be a pathetic, spineless crybaby but here I am.
I hate being 18 years old.
He lied about my step brother not buying a plane ticket for myself (leaving me behind this boring 3rd world shithole)but somehow I fucking fell for it,he even tried to FORCIBLY hug me even though I said 20 times not to touch or hug me.Man fuck him,he even was talking in a babyish manner that "everything's is going to be okay"
At this point,he's worse than my own mother.
No. 526513
I know there’s a corona thread but I’m rly just venting so.. here it is.
My husband and I have been feeling just a little under the weather, he’s seen a doctor and they didn’t recommend he get tested for it. Literally just a couple days of feeling crappy, one day with a low fever, then a couple days of recovering. That’s the pattern for both of us. I called out of work on the day I had a fever because I really needed to rest, my body was struggling. My boss fucking emails me today to tell me he got my shifts covered and needs me to see a doctor before I’m allowed to return to work… okay, sure, that’s responsible. But this fucking sucks for me, I work very little to begin with and now I know I’m gonna struggle to cover my bills. On top of that, I can’t really afford to get a check up… my health insurance will cover a corona test, if I need one, but doesn’t do much for doctors visits. I work retail, so I don’t have sick or vacation time to use. I just wish they had asked me to see a doctor BEFORE just taking my shifts away, or offered to pay me for the hours missed… or to cover the check up cost…. ugh. Luckily my mom and husband offered to help with my bills if I need it, but it’s just annoying. I wish my job cared more about its employees, especially right now. The only plus side is I’ll have an entire week free to play animal crossing after it comes out lmao
No. 526534
File: 1584396849620.jpg (682.15 KB, 1391x2055, Screenshot_20200316-181418_Kik…)
God I hate being straight
No. 526540
File: 1584397559078.png (286.52 KB, 486x344, g.png)
>>526528>and likes to consistently hug, touch my hair or rub my shouldersShe wants to experiment
Either say "no" or run away directly
No. 526589
File: 1584411875222.jpeg (32.41 KB, 338x600, F9B6F408-D025-43A1-AE7C-47DAC3…)
How the fuck do you stop giving a shit about how an abusive ex talks about you to their manipulative partner? I tl;dr made bad choices bc I didn’t know what a healthy relationship and I’m haunted by my toxic ex and his gf
No. 526598
File: 1584412389089.jpeg (149.4 KB, 686x674, 291F3BBB-D40B-4A43-A5AD-4442FF…)
My boyfriend of 3 years is moving away and I am extremely depressed about it. Because of the coronavirus and the transition of courses to online, he is moving away back with his family since he basically graduated. They just arranged this today and he’s leaving in 5 days. The speed of which this is happening is hitting me in shock and I can’t help but lose my shit crying. I knew this was coming but it was supposed to be in around 3-4 months… now it’s 5 days. I am beyond depressed. We plan to get married so I want to hold on but long distance relationships fucking destroy me like nothing else. When we first started dating he had to work in Germany for 6 months and in that brief period of time I completely and permanently destroyed my arms with scars from how bad my depression got. (also got hospitalized) I have no family, no friends, no online friends, absolutely no one but him (this is my own fault and issue). Now, its not sure how long he will stay there and most likely for years as he was planning to work in that province anyway.
I cant get out of my bed. He feels bad too but its nothing compared to me. Hes returning to his family and friends and whatnot… for him its sort of nice. I, on the other hand, am absolutely destroyed. I feel hopeless. I feel as if I will not be able to handle that separation. I know I have really bad separation problems( especially after what happened last time). i dont know what to do. I just cry all day.
No. 526608
>>526600She said nothing about her bf not giving a fuck about her…
>>526598Do you have a therapist, anon?
No. 526653
>>526598Anon, you say that having no other connections is your own fault, but it is concerning to hear. I'm going to assume your guy is not
abusive & isolating you. With that assumption, you do really need therapy for your attachment issues. Whatever happened in your past is preventing you from making a support network of friends. You're focusing all your social energy on your boyfriend and attaching with the trauma from the past. It's not healthy for you, him, or the relationship.
No. 526670
File: 1584432832779.jpg (337.99 KB, 720x954, dsfghj.jpg)
Yall the past 4 months has been literal hellfire. First I get diagnosed that I’m slowly going fucking blind, then my childhood pet dies, then I get rejected and third wheeled, then a big convention I finally got accepted into after years gets cancelled from this god forsaken virus which is starting to blow everything else out the window. This comes after many wasted years of trying to fix my life into something better. My GAD is on fire and my depression is back full force. Just infect me with covid19 already and put me out of my misery.
No. 526674
File: 1584433757164.jpg (51.56 KB, 599x539, wknzrw85jwd31.jpg)
Can i put letters i wish i could send to my ex in here?
I'll never get to say it to his face, and he will get away with what he put me through because I have to be "level-headed" and pretend like I'm beyond it when it still hurts. But if I could, I would say this: You are a horrible person. You put me through abuse for 6 to 7 years and convinced me I deserved it. When we were reaching a rough point, you abandoned me, telling me the relationship's destruction was my fault. But you wanted to end things because your ugly horse-faced coworker started being "friendly" with you and you tossed me aside for Seabiscuit. I bet you blame me for your misery, but you're wrong. You'll always be miserable because you're a pathetic loser Kroger stock clerk with no ambitions nor care for anyone else. You'll never be in a loving relationship because you only have room in your heart for yourself.
You get to go around and tell people you know about how "awful" I was while looking like the sad boy victim when all this time you were gas lighting me and cheating on me. Fuck you. Go breed your diseased horse gf. You will always be garbage you selfish, greasy, lumpy-bodied, narcissistic fuck.
No. 526746
Coincidentally my friends seem to be taking a hit to their health right around the time of this virus.
I tried to add this high school acquaintance I knew on facebook, he was always kind of cute in a dorky way and I remember how we used to tease each other in pre-calc. Just wanted to spy on what he'd been up to in life in the ten years since. I think I sent the friend request over a month ago and he finally accepted last night. I thought 'hah what a fuckboy move' but it turns out he'd been in the hospital for brain surgery due to seizures. He had a procedure back in January, something about influenza, and when he woke up from the surgery he was blind! He went from being cute to looking like hobo Tom Hanks. His eyes are dead, it's like the soul left this guy.
A different friend of my ex who was just this harmless neckbeard dude went into the hospital thinking he had coronavirus symptoms a la shortness of breath, cough, fever, etc. Well, it wasn't corona. He just developed heart failure at 30 years old from unchecked blood pressure and eating whatever he wanted. I feel sorry for his wife.
The boon about coronavirus is that it's opened up a lot of previously backed up doctor slots. I think my friends, being scared from corona, are now more likely to go in despite the cost to be safe. I think that's gonna lead to the discovery of underlying health issues they weren't aware of for years since they last saw a doctor. My visit is today, I hope I don't get bad news..
No. 526772
File: 1584457819944.jpeg (33.33 KB, 387x416, 1566343722990.jpeg)
I hate that I keep indulging myself in self-destructive behaviors even though I know it'll upset me when it's over. I can't help myself from doing it because I have no self control and the anxiety of what will happen if I don't do it is too great to bear… even though if I don't partake in these stupid harmful habits nothing bad will happen, it's just my stupid fucking brain convincing myself that I MUST do it or else. I fucking hate being so weak and having no control over myself or my mind. God.
And what sucks is that I was going to finally speak to my doctor about going to therapy but things have got really chaotic with the coronavirus and everything got cancelled so I'll have to wait longer cause who knows how long this shit will last? But my mental health has really been slipping lately and that terrifies me.
No. 526905
>>526896I also have awful knee pain and my mental health is gone. I offer you my sincerest sympathy and i wish i could hug you. This sounds dumb but be sure to get enough electrolytes and fluids so your shit remains
m o i s t, love you anon mwah
No. 526906
>>526903I'm so glad but the professor I have right now is great but has high standards. The course is about designing characters and as someone who spends most of my time on social media I have such few references from popular media to go of off.
What are you doing?
No. 526947
When I was 19 I made the dumb ass decision to get involved with a married man who I thought was getting a divorce (spoiler alert: he didn't). It was probably the worst time of my life, I was already dealing with pretty severe mental illness but then on top of it this guy crushed my heart and continued to manipulate and use me for a long time (I know some anons will say I deserve it for my part in the affair which I totally accept), just completely damaged my self-esteem and added to a lot of problems I was already dealing with. I'm 24 now and in the last 5 years I've really healed from things. I graduated college, learned to drive, moved to a new place I love, I have a boyfriend and a great group of friends, an awesome job, for the first time in my life I can say I'm content and even if it doesn't seem like much I've come so far. I'm currently working in therapy on forgiveness which is funny because right as I'm beginning this process this guy (who is still married to his wife!) comes out with oh I love you, you're my soulmate, in the last five years I realized I tried to push you away because I was a coward and I wish I could be with you and nobody else and I'm going to regret the choice I made forever and I'll love you for the rest of my life…blah blah blah. When he said it I felt nothing. And it felt so good to feel nothing. To not give a singular shit about this man who at one point completely controlled me. At one point I would have DIED to hear him say those words and now I couldn't care less. Not out of malice or hate but because I've reached the point where I'm just so over what happened, I've reached a point where I'm ready to forgive and move forward with my life. I basically told him as much and it feels so nice to do right by my 19 year old self, who never thought she would ever be in this place.
No. 526949
>>526947>some anons will say I deserved itNot really, the fact is you were groomed and lied to by someone who knew what he was doing and led you on. You were just naive and did something dumb, meanwhile he's pure evil. I can't believe he tried to contact you again, which was a TOTAL test btw–he didn't actually mean what he said he was just trying to bait you back into a sexual situation again.
Is there a way to alert the wife? Or does she know? Anyway I wish the real justice for that man would be spending the rest of his life alone. Too bad we don't brand predators like him on the face so every woman would know.
No. 526961
>>526950I feel you anon especially with the insurance stuff. Very panicky rn because I managed to get an interview for a fast food job and she said she’d call me for sure but I’ve heard nothing. Praying I do get hired but this virus is fucking everything up. If I can’t get a job soon I’d rather just be dead.
But I hope it all works out for you anon.
No. 526970
File: 1584497361924.gif (1.44 MB, 431x498, tenor.gif)
I had to get a couple vials of blood drawn today for labs and the phlebotomist was such a brutish idiot. Short tubby older woman with a hispanic accent, you'd never suspect.
Anywhos, I've always considered it polite to inform them where their best chances are for a stick, but mostly so they don't go about digging me inside my fucking elbows and having to restick. Mkay? I have tiny little veins and I'm overweight, it's hard. I direct her towards a side vein on my arm that had a successful stick recently. She seemed so eager to not take my word for it and was eyes-gleaming looking at the god forsaken barren, crook of my arm just wanting some of that dank ruby DRILL BABY DRILL.
Holy shit the bloodlust in her eyes I was traumatized.
I finally got her to listen and lo and behold after a few pumps of my hand the side vein I mentioned was already popping out of the skin like Jesus Christ. She doubted me but stuck me. Except my arm was slanted on the chair. She stuck me, and held it for a few seconds, then LET GO. What was initially a steady flow turnt dead stop because that !!!!!charlatan!!!! didn't realize the weight of the tubing connecting it to the vial would pull the needle towards the surface of my skin, cutting off the supply of blood, as the needle proceeded to POKE THROUGH MY SKIN like a seesaw."Oh the blood stopped…" Do you not understand the essence of what's going on? Do you not understand what's happening? After suggesting she maybe hold the needle in place so it goes back down into my body…she finally does so and the bloodletting resumed.
After collecting the vials she dislodged the needle and gave me some gauze to apply pressure while she got rid of the stuff. She comes back and is for some reason, entirely unconvinced I've put enough pressure on my puncture. Bandaid and gause in one hand, she removed the gauze I used and proceeded to press her gloved thumb down on the needle site all unannounced. It wasn't painful enough for a reaction but it was super uncomfortable and bizarre. I've never seen this shit before. A few seconds later she removed her thumb and again the site wasn't even bleeding. Yet she lays the fresh gauze down and then presses down with the thumb again! This time harder, like wtf lady. Repeat this like two more times and she finally tells me she's trying for a bruise. I've never heard of this shit in my entire life, isn't the point to PREVENT bruising?!
I have a god damn blue thumbprint from this hulk gorilla on my arm.
No. 527040
File: 1584506987196.jpg (40.96 KB, 500x560, 86180836.jpg)
I'm seriously considering quitting the D&D games I'm in, due to the other players. My DM likes to incorporate new mechanics when he comes across them and usually it's interesting and doesn't affect gameplay too much. But he found a Kickstarted expansions that allows characters to become various monstrous types (were-people, vampires, liches, fiends, etc.). To do so they have to make pacts or contracts with various bad guys of those types and take actions to become the monsters.
So take some D&D characters who are perfectly normal and have been killing bad guys. And then make them do edgy shit like killing kids or trying to get people to make pacts with the devil like they did. And now you have my fellow players. It's so out of character it's ridiculous. I'm in two games with the same people, and it's infected both games now. They keep trying to push my characters to join them but they are both some flavor of good and would never do so. And personally, I wouldn't want them to. I love my characters but to be honest it would only be in character for them to leave the parties.
I'm just sick of it because they think it's all cool and badass but it's just dumb and since the monstrous expansion my DM is using isn't official, it's a bit unbalanced too. I like playing D&D with them normally, but now I want to just quit. I have no issue with doing an evil campaign at all. Sounds fun. But you can't just turn good characters evil in one session because it sounds fun.
No. 527098
File: 1584514029033.jpg (50.94 KB, 750x624, tfw10.jpg)
guys i fucking hate my landlord so much. there's been construction going on on the floor beneath my apartment for 2 MONTHS now. it's from literally 8 am to 8 pm sometimes and just constant loud drilling. it's driving me insane especially now that i'm in quarantine. kill me, how is this allowed
No. 527340
My boyfriend is so deep into mindfulness and meditation that I now feel so unable to relate to him, or more that he cannot relate to me. I don’t mean this in a bad way against him either—he is not preachy about it, he actually rarely brings it up to anyone because he gets embarrassed about it in conversation (we both work in mental health fields and agree how cringey it is that “daily mindfulness!” is such a flowery fad right now). But I mean he listens to long lectures almost every single day and can sometimes spend hours meditating every night. The thing is like… he’s good at it, he’s doing it right, he suffers so much less now compared to how he used to but only he is now kind of robotic. Any problem, issue, emotion, or anything that comes along, he always just says “just have to let it go” and the same if I ask for advice. I don’t want to over simplify him because I know he has practiced a long time to get to this point but it can sometimes be frustrating, I talk about my day and something that bothers me and he will never come right out and say it because I know he’s conscious of not being annoying, but effectively anytime I ask for advice he eventually comes around to “you just have to let it go, it’s in the past.” It’s like YEAH I KNOW! I do fucking know that but not every part of life has to be processed so routinely and healthy, even though yes! I get that it’s obviously the wise decision. I don’t know I just sometimes feel so silly compared to him because again he actually is really healthy at the moment and truly nothing bothers him, I just wish he didn’t seem so unaffected by life? so uninvested? I know it sounds so fucking silly and immature but I realised that if we broke up he would immediately begin his process of letting go and would definitely be heart broken I know that, but he would just give me away to the past like everything else and it really upset me for some reason.
No. 527379
>>527375Anti natalist? How about take a fucking bc pill and get an abortion during a fucking pandemic while scientists figure out what detrimental effects contracting fetal coronavirus will have. Or how about the fact that pregnant women are more likely to have compromised immunity and will literally take a hospital bed away from someone else should many of them require hospitalization.
I'm not even talking about the fact that a vaccine won't be available until 2021, but sure, I'm sure this will all be water under the bridge come next month. This virus won't be here in 9 months, suuuuuure.
Fuck you're ignorant. Fuck.
No. 527387
>>527378Nothing sounds more sane then getting
triggered by other women's pregnancies and telling them to ABORT their babies. That's ugly radfem tier shit.
No. 527409
>>527401>and that they don't deserve to receive medical treatment during a pandemic is the definition of trashiness.no one said this.
> I do have healthier relationships with men then most of the bpd hoes here.kek, you can't make one post without lying, and black and white-ass splitting yet you're invoking bpd as an insult against women. projection, once again. get help.
No. 527421
>>527415Almost like if you weren't purposefully trying to get pregnant you wouldn't be IN that situation taking a bed away from someone else! No one cares about preggers who are like 4+ months in already and who didn't know about this virus until it happened.
We're talking about retards trying to be pregnant RIGHT NOW and are absolutely putting themselves and others at risk for their selfish bullshit.
No. 527446
I got all of my wisdom teeth taken out on February 6th, since I had a really bad infection on a lower one. The dentist recommended all of them just come out, to save me trouble. I had a horrible surgery- woke up halfway through, treated like garbage, they perforated my sinus so I can't blow my nose, and the holes STILL AREN'T HEALED over a month later despite careful hygeine and strictly taking my medication. As a result of these slow-healing holes that frequently trapped debris, I had a lower-molar that went septic. I needed a triple root canal, yesterday. The smell was indescribable. The dentist repeatedly chastised me about it and was clearly disgusted… I told him, dude… I was here two weeks ago for this tooth. I was worried, because I wasn't recovering well after my wisdom extraction, so I visited them two weeks ago and they brushed me off. I told them pus was POURING out the side of the tooth multiple times a day and they blew me off since "well, I don't see any pus, right now". Clear case of a male blowing off a female for "exaggerating". He sent me away with antibiotics and told me to come back. The same antibiotics I was ALREADY ON FROM THE ORAL SURGEON. Yesterday, he goes, "oh, well, it was already dead then." referring to when I saw him two weeks ago. Apparently, the infection is now in the bone. TBH he says I am going to be OK if I take my antibiotics, since he removed the source of infection, but WTF? Why… did they let it go so long? I could've gotten really sick. God.. sorry for the blogpost, this pic just makes me feel so much anxiety. I felt like I was taking it more seriously than they were. Should I report them to my state dental association for malpractice? I believe that if they had properly treated my tooth WEEKS ago it might not have progressed so severely.
No. 527449
>>527428Oh so the WHO and CDC were just full of shit when they listed pregnant women as at risk next to the elderly on all the announcements about this virus.
Everyone don't worry, this anon knows best right here!
No. 527461
>>527452I never wanted to get my wisdom teeth out. One of the wisdom teeth on my lower mandible was infected, so I just blindly listened to the dentist like a good little girl. Cringe. I am kicking myself, I agree that I should've just gotten the one wisdom tooth out. But that's the site that got infected- TBH, I think that they should've upped the antibiotics and taken me more seriously when that area was still giving me trouble after the extraction. The wisdom tooth that was initially infected that started this entire mess is the site that caused my tooth to go septic. This seems like a clear case of negligence, to me.
>>527455Thank you for reading my shit and your thoughts, I appreciate it, shit does suck. I might just go to another dentist, just sucks because I have shitty insurance, but I agree that after this shit I need a new one.
No. 527464
>>527460I'll need multiple sources that your immunity doesn't change early in the pregnancy at all.
Besides, the point still stands that this virus will not be going anywhere within the next 9 months, which means you are purposefully putting yourself and others at risk "down the line" or whatever arbitrary timeframe you think immunity takes a nosedive.
You can't logic or think ahead.
No. 527470
>>527446Feel so bad for you anon. The worst thing I've had after an extraction was dry socket and I both gargled and drank whiskey all day for weeks to cope with the pain when they wouldn't do anything to help.
Switch dentist for sure, not trying to be dramatic but shit like that is traumatic enough that you won't want to see him again, even a long time from now
No. 527472
>>527467Ntayrt, but your aggressive and pointless comment wasn't needed at all.
>>527471But anon… they need to get pregnant right now for some unknown reason!!1!
No. 527479
>>527469elderly people who don't have any health issues aren't at risk. those are very few people though mainly because most of the elderly population smoked.
>>527471lol, right. next time you try to defend something, make sure it's only something you're actively a part in!
>>527473adoption is nice, sure, but way more complicated and costly than just taking pills that your insurance pays for.
No. 527484
>>527479Are you under the age of 25?
Your posts are like teenage brainthink.
>not all elderly people are at risk! >o-okay maybe only very few are healthy…>"So that means the majority of elderly people are at risk and there are only exceptions, just like pregnant people?">NO!This is like that Patrick Star wallet meme lmao.
No. 527486
>>527461Don't blame yourself for listening! They're the professionals after all, they should've listened to your concerns. I actually had to pay completely out of pocket when I had to get my wisdom teeth out which sucked, but I guess the silver lining was that I got to pick who I wanted to see and chose a nice (though expensive lol) surgeon.
Don't stay with someone who doesn't listen. I used to think maybe I should just stick to all of my doctors because… they went to school for this! They definitely know better than me! But nah, fuck that. I'm getting a second opinion/new doctor/dentist if need be. Good luck anon! I hope you'll find a great new dentist who'll fix up your teeth!
No. 527517
>>524221Thank you kind anon, love to you too!
>>524224I said it because work too, like I always gave 100% and was a perfectionist, arrived on time and ect but the people I worked with didn't appreciate it enough to give me recommendations. And then I see others getting praised and can't help but think what do they do that's better or it's just luck.
No. 527519
>>527486This makes me vent about my problemo that I have for a while now:
I'm in a similar situation as the op dentist anon who isn't happy at all with their doctor. The thing is that I have mine since over two decades but in the past few months I felt like nobody is listening to me there anymore. I go home without any procedures even when I had pain and problems going on. This wasn't always the case, things got done straight away but I really feel like my doctor really lost interest in his job. Most recently it got so bad that it not only caused pain but also the worst health anxiety, which he also brushed off. Idk I need to change but now I have the biggest trust issues to go to a new doctor. What should I looking for when searching for a new one? How do I change??? As I said I went to the recent one since I was 5. Do anons have any tips?
No. 527532
>>527501i don't know, the CDC didn't mention that "women looking to become pregnant" were at risk :^)
>>527521look it up yourself. i'm not going to spoonfeed you. when you can just google pregnant women immunity and see all the articles about how immune response in the womb is actually the immune system trying to protect the egg from inflammation, or that inflammatory immune response during late-stage pregnancy is likely what
triggers premature births.
No. 527558
>>527550Okay, well your side of the discussion never shared any sources that pregnant women have lowered immunity. AFAIK anon is actually correct that immunity changes throughout pregnancy and is heightened at the beginning of pregnancy. She did mention some things at the end of her post, just isn't sharing sources. But then,
>>527535 clearly has no idea what's going on and is just using this shit to hate on women, so I don't know if I'd share sources either
>>527555There are multiple anons in this convo.
No. 527562
>>527558>an anon was m-mean to women so i w-wont give any sources!11!!kek. and
>>527555 is asking why you're not losing your shit about the other retard's comment either.
No. 527568
>>527375I still can't believe that people are willing to defend these words
>Sorry no one wants to have a baby with you because you're probably a psycho.I mean, come on, we all know that's not true. Men have very low standards, it's easy for us to get sex. I'm sure if you tell a random guy not to wear a condom, he won't get pissed.
No. 527574
>>527568Plenty of men have tried to knock me up before but it wasn't out of ~*~troo lurve~*~ it was used as a way to try to control me and create a permanent tie to me. I'd honestly think the same of any man thinking it's a great idea to knock a woman up right now. There's zero responsibility, consideration, or love in doing something so ignorant.
But besides the point, anon basically called every lesbian farmer a useless psycho.
No. 527576
>>526982Yeah I posted about it in ot or g but never checked back. Sorry to bring it up again but girl its kicking my ass. Its all I can think about, I'm trying really hard to be strong and get through this it just hurts so bad. I had my Bestfriend start holding on to my pain pills (Rx for migraines) because I went off a couple of weeks ago and was taking them too much. My neck & head have been hurting near non stop since and I know its stress and I cant just keep popping pills or else I'll be in a real bad way. Its so fucked up what he did, I keep wanting to fuck him up but I want to be a teacher I can't catch a felony.
I know. I sound crazy, but I swear I'm trying real hard to keep the lid on it all
No. 527606
>>527590Thinking a woman is being stupid for wanting to get pregnant during a pandemic is different from calling all women bitter jealous baby hating psychos that no man wants to fuck because they think it's a bad idea to get pregnant during a pandemic.
I honestly can't believe anon tried to pull that stunt.
No. 527619
File: 1584557763122.jpg (368.95 KB, 1076x1396, Screenshot_20180929-002817.jpg)
This thread is fucking unhinged right now.
No. 527623
File: 1584557947651.png (908.94 KB, 1266x1452, 817.png)
>have younger brother, due to have his final exams this year
>he's spoilt rotten and has physically violent outbursts when he doesn't get his way, as well as a drug and stealing habit, not to mention a multitude of other things i dont want to detail here
>he was supposed to be writing his exams this summer
>slacked off all year
>went to school maybe once or twice a week, and even then he would make my mom come pick him up early
>never does his homework, my mom does it for him
>literally all he did all year was go out and do drugs with his friends and constantly manipulate, abuse and beat my mom into giving him money to buy drugs
>his teachers have given him shit target grades because of this
>he and my mom were coping by saying he can still get an A on the final exam
>exams get cancelled due to coronavirus
>final grades will be given based on target grades
>my mom, brother, and entire extended family are freaking out and telling my mom to go to the school to bully the teachers into giving him better target grades
>mfw i was taught by some of his teachers back in the day and im about 90% sure they wont give him better grades
>mfw brother will finally get what's coming to him
>but i also feel bad for being happy about this, since my mom has been working so hard in getting him through school but he just couldn't be bothered to actually turn up and do his work
No. 527853
File: 1584576528848.jpg (36.56 KB, 564x390, d8d042286056ce73d68075c843cf38…)
>mfw virus panic shows up at the worst time and is fucking everything up
Might just get drunk or something because I'm over it.
No. 528121
>>528110Controlling how much or when someone sleeps is one the rarer red flags with a controlling or
abusive partner. You don't see it too often but when you do it's considered a major warning sign. You should look it up checklists for controlling partners because he ticks a few boxes just from your short post.
> has made me feel guilty for sleepinng > and he's made my feel guilty for being awakeFucking yikes
No. 528152
File: 1584623679347.jpg (1.13 MB, 1536x1683, 1584622188465.jpg)
I hate that media space is being given to dumb attention hungry celebs like her. Am I supposed to believe that a person who was too stupid to even finish middle school let alone high school has a plan to save America?
No. 528158
>>528152Hah. Gotta love these entitled celebrities who suddenly think they're qualified to get political during crisis, yunno unlike the people who've spent years studying and working in these government institutions who have an actual grasp at what it takes to move power.
Fuck I wish celebrities would go away. If there's one thing I hate in a worldwide plague, it's acting like a bunch of rich people fucking matter to any average person right now. They ought to just bunker in their filthy mansions and money and be a little grateful they're not like the rest of us for bullshit reasons.
No. 528176
>>528172Depends, how often does the hopelessness and sadness come up? is it ongoing because of mental health issues or is it rare? It could be that they have empathy fatigue if it's a regular occurence.
You'd need to give more detail really.
No. 528191
>>528172Who's he? Boyfriend or friend?
Romantic partners should feel more obligated to give you some verbal comfort or at least be there for you physically.
If it's just some dude friend who doesn't want to fuck you, then his reaction makes sense. Men don't like to play therapist to women. Get some female friends.
No. 528198
>>528191he's a romantic partner, but i don't really want him to be because of this. he's not good with any emotion, when i cry i make him uncomfortable, and he genuinely sees no problem with this. i have a lot of stressors in my life and he doesn't, so the fact that he feels no obligation towards trying to make me feel better or even safe, when i'm genuinely unsafe, or part of something larger than myself, is especially distressing. whenever i bring it up to him he says it doesn't happen and he says he offers to help me (in actuality, he doesn't). it's strange. he has a completely warped view of the situation and somehow believes himself to be helpful despite him always avoiding me when i need support or help, and that i'm a nag and "shitting on him" for saying he doesn't respond appropriately. i can't get him to a mediator or anything either because he says they're all bullshit and refuses to go. he shuts down any time i seem to need anything, emotional or otherwise, ever. it's not just me, though. he can't comfort anyone but doesn't see a problem with it.
>>528192thanks, i don't really need that though. i'm pretty good self soothing, i just don't think this is suitable for a person you're supposed to be close to, to act this way. i don't see what the point is to being with someone like this. it's only frustrating insofar as that he tries to bill himself as someone i can lean on when i really can't.
No. 528223
>>528110>>528121I've read a lot of relationship abuse stories from support groups (having been in one) and based on my observations controlling your partner's sleeping schedule is surprisingly common. I've heard multiple stories of the
abusive partner forcibly making their SO lay next to them in bed in complete silence and darkness because they want to go to sleep, even if the SO isn't sleepy. And vice versa they start making as much noise as possible, if they don't straight out shake their partner awake when they don't want them sleeping. It's all about them wanting to be in control at all times - if you're sleeping in an unconscious state when they're not, they're not able to control your life.
No. 528226
>>528223Shit I hope I'm not being
abusive to my partner. He never goes to bed on time and I have to bully him to get at least 2 hours of sleep before work because I know he'll pass out in the car or on the job if he doesn't at least nap. He has also told me during arguments that I'm the reason he doesn't sleep anymore because he thinks I'll get mad at him if he does because I said we never see each other anymore. He works nightshift and I work dayshift. I did complain a lot about it even going so far as to say he's always asleep when I'm home which is normal but maybe I shouldn't have said it. I feel bad oh man.
No. 528242
>>528237>caught looking at tranny porn>clearly gaslighting anon>invalidating her feelings >actively making her feel bad, continuing to do so after being confronted >blaming her for his own failingsYou're a faggot if you think anon isn't the one being abused here. Sit down you nasty bitch.
>>528211Anon you should leave him. He clearly doesn't respect you, and you deserve a man who wants you, not one that is in denial about rubbing his dick raw to other dicks. Much less dicks in dresses. Before you know it, he will "transition" and likely guilt you into letting him fuck guys cuz it will cure his ~~dysmorphia~~
No. 528258
>>528211He likes dudes in lingerie…faps to big cocks in panties…but he's trying to shame you for not dressing up enough?
Dump the pornsick tranny chaser, and then tell everyone exactly why you dumped him. I mostly don't care what kinks people have in private but he lost all empathy here when he blamed you. Reality is most women would've dumped him already.
No. 528260
>>528211This happened to me. I also found my bfs secret transvestite dating account where he had pics of himself in wigs and lingerie. After shouting at him and threatening to leave him, it turns out he'd been bumming trannies he met on the website when I wasn't around. B-but it wasn't gay because he was doing the penetrating! I hated myself, why wasn't I enough for him?
I spent ages on forums and websites trying to make sense of it all. Trannies get off on the taboo of it and "seducing" straight men into thinking they're sexy women. It's gross.
My ex has a new gf now but it won't last because he's a closet gay who can't come out because rich upper class parents wouldn't straight up disown him.
Leave your bf. He has sexuality issues he needs to work on, and you need to be appreciated for all of you. I'm so much happier from dumping my absolute mess of an ex, I'm sure you will be too!
No. 528279
>>528270Shit this sounds like who I am referring to, lol. But I'm guessing this brand of degeneracy is so common.
He'd cheated on me with women before he progressed to men so yeah… pornsick trash
No. 528281
File: 1584634125313.gif (707.85 KB, 191x191, 1559985173179.gif)
>>5282512/10 bait. Would reccomend more effort.
No. 528286
>>528198Yeah, don't bother with men who have no empathy. They will never comfort you or try to understand your feelings, but they will expect you to bend over backwards for them. I tried to overlook this with my ex and be understanding, but it just made me resent him so much. I ended up leaving because grown men who don't know how to process emotions can fuck right off
I know a bunch of pick-mes are going to chime in
>you have to deal with your own emotions!!11And I do, but low empathy permeates every part of the relationship. It's like being in a relationship with a clueless toddler
No. 528295
My girlfriend got laid off the day after we moved in to a new place with my coworker – Tuesday. We'd signed the lease in mid-February, back when all the COVID-19 shit wasn't nearly as insane as it is right now. Thankfully it's only for 6 months. I work for an independent bookstore and thankfully my boss is still paying us full-time hours despite adjusting our daily hours. My girlfriend is probably going to have to go work for Amazon at this point, which is the last thing we'd want – goes against our morals for obvious reasons – but wants are out the window.
We couldn't have known we'd be moving in the midst of pandemic, but my coworker and I both moved to get out of households with helicopter and narcissistic family, respectively. I dropped by to see my narcissist, recently-widowed grandma yesterday after work at her request, and while I was there my cat – that I was hounded by my whole family into leaving with her – would not stop cuddling me. I could've cried, honestly.
I miss my cat so much and she was the last thing my grandfather ever gave me. My grandmother even said she thought the cat was depressed, and I told her that would happen if I left her there. This bitch was always bizarrely jealous of how much my grandfather loved me (she hates "sharing") and has been a menace since the day he died 4 months ago – policing my grieving when she knows he was my father in my heart and this is the first big loss I've experienced, keeping all of his ashes for herself when my sister and I had told her we'd wanted some, stealing the savings he'd had for me – so I shouldn't be surprised she'd started a crusade to essentially steal my cat. She's always favored and coddled my sister and hated me for being "too much like my mother" whose life she ruined, so of course she'd take the one source of genuine happiness in my life that she can get her hands on. Everyone keeps saying she's not going to be around much longer and then I'll get my cat back full-time, but she could live another 10 years out of fucking spite.
The worst part of it all is that she keeps begging me to move back so she's not alone, even though my sister and dad have offered to stay with her for a bit, and I honestly almost wish I could because I'm so stressed with the state of the world right now. But I should put my mental health first and being in that house makes me incredibly sad.
No. 528299
File: 1584635358548.jpg (42.56 KB, 500x281, b805040f-3509-46dc-a644-0c17b7…)
>>528284Jesus, anon. I'm sorry this shit keeps happening to you.
Fuck of all of these pornsick losers. Everything is always about their sexual drive, the next time they get to engage in degeneracy and their fetish. Always and forever, just pointlessly repeating. Incapable of love and actual devotion.
No. 528325
>>528211The reason why pornsick men like tranny porn is that they've internalized the idea that "traps" are vicious nymphomaniacs who only exist to serve male sexual needs and are always willing to hop on a dick. It doesn't always have to do with their sexuality like being bi or gay, it's just them feeding into this delusional, misogynistic idea of a perfect sex doll that traps represent. TL;DR: Porn-addicted coomers who hate women so much they only want a bimbo shemale who's begging for their cock.
Nevertheless, dump the loser before he's pressuring you into choking or some other weird fetish shit.
No. 528347
>>527340I can completely understand, and I think it's just the basic lack of empathy. I had an ex like this and it really showed when I told him that I just got out of a sketchy situation and thought I might die and am now scared of that situation repeating "well nothing bad actually happened and the only experience you had of that situation was that it turned out fine, so you should let it go". So just by saying that I felt my fears and worries created by that situation were invalidated.
Maybe don't ask him for advice, you don't have the same coping tools he does, and he's not really exercising empathy if he doesn't let you be in your feelings, irrational as they may be.
I think there's a certain humanity in giving into your feelings, and I don't miss the days of having to explain why I still feel scared etc to Mr. rational.
No. 528403
God, fuck my bf I wish I were 100% gay. This isn't even that egregious but i'm riled up.
I went into his room and he ignored me then gaslit me to shit that it's a perfectly normal thing to do. I was in earlier watching him play a game then went to quickly make a snack, said I'd be back in a sec. I come back and he's on the computer doing something else, and I just stand next to him for a good 10-15 seconds (longer than you'd assume when you're just standing there silently) then go because he isn't acknowledging me. I express later it annoyed me and he could've at least acknowledged me because it's rude, and he jumped straight into it
>I was just doing my own thing for TWO SECONDS
>sorry I'm not focused 100% of the time on you!
>I didn't know you wanted us to do something together
>If you wanted my attention you should've said so
>it's totally normal to not pay attention to someone that comes and sits next to you while you're doing something
I countered all the points and said it's the decent thing to do to say "just a second" or something and it was rude to outright ignore. That was basically my counterpoint and he just said he's going back to his room and walked off, my feelings dismissed and him leaving feeling he's right.
I mean, it isn't normal, right? I feel like I have no frame of reference because he sees nothing wrong with it and when I tried to have him picture himself in the same situation he said it'd be fine. I don't talk to my friends about relationship shit so I don't know. But it's common manners and decency to acknowledge someone, right? Even if they do "only" wait for 10 seconds? You don't have to be like "hey can you pay attention to me"? I think it triggered me more because I asked him something earlier today and he didn't answer when I was standing in front of him waiting, I walked up to him and he was just casually checking his email, taking his sweet time in answering. God my legs are shaking and honestly what an absolute waste of energy. It's negative and all I wanted to do was clear the air.
I ALSO want to vent about Love is Blind and how shitty it is that they seemed to frame all the relationship failures as the womens fault. Like I didn't even know Barnett had significant debt because they made such a fuss over Amber having debt. And the fucking couple that agreed to not marry and then date after, but the guy said yes at the altar and she said no (as agreed), then AFTER it ghosted the woman. Having her look like a villain when he's the snake. I wish it weren't so entertaining.
No. 528465
>>528403I'm gonna agree that you overreacted but holy shit anon
I get you at the same time. It sucks so bad to constantly have to repeat yourself, ask, beg, remind, nag, etc. when all you want is to be listened to and considered. Men just don't get it.
No. 528499
>>528473If that’s true then it’s not even worth being petty.
If an adult male in a relationship can’t sit down and talk, without belittling his partner’s feelings, then he’s worthless and should be kicked, hard, to the curb. It’s a waste of energy to sit around for weeks waiting for the perfect aha! gotcha moment.
No. 528728
File: 1584701987052.jpeg (27.16 KB, 560x459, 3A2BE503-2613-43D6-A5CF-820858…)
My boyfriend got the virus. He’s been in the hospital since last week and apparently he’s got it from his mom while she was at work. What’s worse is that he has asthma so folks like him are more at risk from this shit. Our anniversary is this month but we can’t do anything obviously. It’ll be 6 years now. I’m so scared and I’m just hoping he pulls thru…
No. 528734
File: 1584703500279.jpg (225.21 KB, 1080x1065, tumblr_ec6e422e8de6a3267d4b270…)
I feel like im not good enough for my partner, even if we love each other very much and even want to propose to each other. He gets friend requests from e-girls on league daily, i feel insecure because of it, because they all are either dia, plat or even challenger etc. on league and im not on any rank whatsoever. And it makes me insecure, even more insecure that he doesn't wanna play or add me, i think im just embarassing him because im very bad at everything. He defended me on league once and got his main account perma banned and he blamed it all on me. I think the reason why he doesn't wanna play is because he thinks i might be the reason why he would get perma banned again. I know deep down inside that it's not me whos the reason for his bad luck, and that he isnt even interested in those e-girls, but my crippling anxiety and depression just make me overthink alot of shit. Sometimes i wish i wasn't even alive, it would make things for him better if i just dissapeared. But i try to stay strong everyday for him, and i try to smile everyday for him even if it hurts me alot inside. I really do not know where this is coming from this feeling, maybe im just a jealous clingy bitch.
No. 528738
>>528728He is in hospital, so he receives the treatment he needs, and has people to care for him.
It sucks, but I hope everything is going to be okay. Sending some Internet hugs your way
No. 528742
>>528666>she wanted to call ambulance (health-care is free in my country) because she has a fever of 99.5F (37.5c) because she was sure she has coronavirusFucking christ this is why the mass hysteria is useless. People are needlessly clogging up the health care because the whole internet is telling them that they will die if they catch the virus even when all the statistics show that the fatality rate for moderately healthy 20-40 year olds is almost zero. Unless you're literally suffocating or develop a very high fever then don't bother the fucking hospitals. Stay at home and rest.
>wuhh but anon Italy!!!!!The people dying in Italy are old fucks who would've died catching a regular cold, not working age young adults.
No. 528758
>>528754Your mother sounds like a teenager stuck in an adult's body.
All that is easy for her to feel and say because either way she's sitting pretty at home having others pay her way, she better hope her support system isn't affected by virus or she's royally fucked.
No. 528764
>>528758Yes, that's pretty much how I'd describe her. She even does the stereotypical 'if someone tells me to do something or gives me advice I'll make a point of doing the exact opposite' thing that teens do.
I'm royally fucked either way, she makes it a point of not doing the legal work needed for her to get a pension in the case of my dad dying and instead of looking for a real job or try adult education, which I'd support 100% if she decided to pursue, she just makes shitty crafts like 1h a week, and again I'd be completely supportive of that if she actually acted like it was a real job and worked on them 8h everyday.
I just really hope that we can pass through this so that I have time to get a better job and inevitably support her hobbies and rent.
No. 528832
File: 1584720919686.jpg (108.42 KB, 1000x1000, 1573c81c9fd6c9f19d8af4da7b78f2…)
>>528734Does he accept these egirls? Does he play with some of them, duoQ or flex? If you don't know you can check his opgg and see if he's playing with the same people. My point is, he shouldn't even care about them if he has a gf. That's not respectful towards you at all. I had my share of gamer bf's and one thing for sure is if they start hanging out with other girls, they're losing interest. That's how these men are. A person who cares about you plays with you whoever the rank because they want to spend time with YOU. It's like playing games with your silver friends even if you're higher ranked because you enjoy being with them. Don't stay with someone who doesn't deserve your time. You can do better.
No. 528925
>>528894I'm in a similar boat. I have a really bad binging problem and absolutely need to lose weight (also for my mental health) and now because of the virus I can't just always run to the store to buy shit like I used to. On the one hand it's good for my body but on the other hand I feel absolutely awful, I can't stop thinking about eating, there's no type of food gross enough to turn me off, even
>>528906 looks good to me.
No. 528934
>>528894Anon I think this is a prime opportunity to practice portion control and restraint. It's unfair to deprive yourself completely AND unrealistic. Imagine if meth was as advertised and pushed on us like food advertisements are. Food's everywhere, taunting people in the face every time they step outside or turn on the tv. Then you go on YouTube to see the eating disordered skinny mukbangers eating whatever the fuck they want like that's reality.
The reality is modern food is addictive and fattening by design, but it doesn't mean you can't treat yourself. What kinds of food did you want? I'm sure in the right portion or adjustment you could walk away relatively guilt free.
No. 529094
File: 1584744679572.jpg (75.59 KB, 640x480, WjwX7v4.jpg)
I'm just mad for like no fucking reason. I hate everything right now and it's mostly my fault because I've been off meds for like 2 weeks. My emotions have been all over the fucking place and I just can't seem to avoid people long enough to be not pissed off. I really miss just not being able to feel anything and barreling through life in a soulless and productive manner. Sure the new pills make me "happy" and even sociable, but the old pills made me not care, which is something I could really use right now.
No. 529176
File: 1584751586027.jpeg (41.92 KB, 461x450, A3BE6316-55DB-4DD0-89E8-473F5F…)
tfw order pho because sick but also cravings
>i get wrong order
>no worries i pretty much eat anything
>its the world spiciest pho shit shouldn't be legal
>cry because now i am pholess and have 13$ less in my name
No. 529357
File: 1584771731956.png (69.07 KB, 551x546, shiteyanyo.png)
Even though I'm upset about people getting sick and dying and losing their jobs and being financially ruined by coronavirus in a weird way this has made me hopeful about the future for the first time in a long time.
I had to drop out of multiple colleges due to mental illness and have spent a lot of time at home, uncertain about my future, with unreliable employment these past few years and I had grown more accustom to the despair and instability than to moving forward and making plans, and seeing everybody react as if they've never had the rug pulled out from under them before has been oddly good for my mental state. Most people move immediately from school to jobs and keep very busy so they've never had to be alone with themselves for long stretches of time before and ppl are realizing having no social safety net is cruel and we're seeing changes already in how people view their lives.
Even though I'm kinda upset that I was just starting to get my life together and I was going to finally move out with some friends by the end of next month, I've been doing pretty well. Cleaning, working on personal projects, getting some online work done. I wanted to go out and get a temp job at a grocery store but my mom doesn't want me to risk it, and I feel like for the first time in my life I don't have guilt about being comfy at home. I'm thriving in the chaos.
I feel like maybe I could make a life in the world after coronavirus now that everybody can relate to their material reality being threatened.
No. 529433
>>529357I don’t think you’re upset at all to be honest. Out there is people dying, could be you, could be your family. For what you’re saying basically I see you’re just lazy and incapable of taking control of your life so now you rejoice in your home not doing anything at all and feeling happy for once because no one could call you out about it.
Your lack of empathy is strong and I don’t think you should feel proud because your “thriving in chaos”, just try to think about others ffs
No. 529574
>>529433NTA but I read it more like that she feels she will not be judged as harshly now others have gone through similar experiences to her.
>I feel like maybe I could make a life in the world after coronavirus now that everybody can relate to their material reality being threatened.I see a lot of people talking about "uncertainty" which suggests that for them, the future was certain. These changes might give perspective to those people.
No. 529754
>>529635I hate the uninformed, condescending boomer lecture shit. One of my aunts is terrible about it. I've ordered a pair of hair cutting scissors online since I'm also overdue for a haircut. I'm just going to trim my split ends, I hope I don't fuck it up too badly.
>>529725I'm really sorry anon. Your family sound sociopathic. You were just a little kid and you did your best. What happened to your bunny was awful but it wasn't your fault.
No. 529794
>>529725Don't blame yourself anon, the adults in your life didn't do their jobs and neglected your pet against your will. Even as a child you knew that wasn't an appropriate condition for an animal, that says a lot.
My mom wouldn't have ever neglected animals to death, but she had a habit of buying me pets and taking them away because I didn't care for them up to her standard. I think they were just tools she used to threaten me with when I behaved like a child like if I didn't do chores or something. It's like she bought pets to make herself a martyr, she rarely seemed to enjoy them.
I didn't even remember her doing this, but apparently she had bought me turtles (I was around 4 or 5 years old) but that didn't last long which is probably why I don't really remember. She took them away because they stunk and I didn't know how to care for them (shocker that a 4 year old wouldn't really know what to do with turtles).
There were numerous cats she gave to me and took away. The one that was really upsetting to me was this calico cat I called Skittles, which I actually developed a bond with when I was 7. One day I came home from school and Skittles was gone. She claimed the cat had run away but I knew better, I was upset for a very long time. When I was an adult she later admitted she took the cat to a barn or shelter because she was sick of it. So, that's nice.
No. 529820
>>529725Your mom is fucking insane. It's not you who needs forgiveness from the rabbit. You were a small and helpless child. The next time you are crying at night and you go to beg that rabbit for forgiveness, I hope you can know that if its spirit is out there somewhere and can hear you, it already knows that you loved it and didn't want to hurt it that way.
I have some similar experiences I don't want to talk about but they're why I decided that I'll spend part of my life trying to help animals. I think before I die at least I'll manage to tip the scales so that I was a good influence. We can't go back and save someone who already died but we can help someone else now.
No. 529887
>>529725You tried your best for it, you held it as it died and you showed it kindness.
What your mum did was not your fault, and it was really fucked up. But you shouldn't blame yourself for it, you were a child - she should have seen how wrong it was, even to just threaten to kill it is fucking wrong. I hope she has no more pets
No. 529938
>>529725This hit me hard, anon. Please don't blame yourself, you were just a child. What happened was your mother's fault, not yours.
Your rabbit loved you, and he wouldn't want you to feel so miserable whenever you think about him.
No. 530017
File: 1584863746879.jpeg (41.15 KB, 294x302, 1A3010D0-7BCF-4DD8-8397-4AA963…)
I know lolcow doesnt condone anachans but recently I started only eating 200 cals a day and relapsing into my eating disorder because i want to look good for my boyfriends graduation and feel good abt myself. Im so stupid and i know its damaging my body but I cant go outside and havent seen my friends in about a whole year from my body dysmorphia so yeah im stupid.
No. 530031
>>530001Here .. fuck I am scared
Any anons from cali or Japan how do you deal with earthquaqes ?
No. 530199
>>530191>muh ageismBoomers undeniably destroyed a
lot of the world. Why do you hop from thread to thread to defend them? Are you a 60-year old fuck deadly afraid of Corona or something?
No. 530201
>>530191>It's a slurLmao
>people who use it are like /pol/tardsTell that to all the normies who don't know what /pol/ is, retard
No. 530205
>>530199>Boomers destroyed the worldNothing is ever that black and white. Boomers gave you the quality of life that they couldn't themselves attain. And really, that and all the bad shit happened due to systematic reasons and not because people born 10 000 moons ago are somehow different. If you really want to argue about it boomers brought more good into this world than bad.
>>530201Most people are /pol/tards. They might deny it but they all act or think the same.
No. 530221
>>530216Nobody told me that HIHD, GDP and life expectansy fell while absolute poverty rose.
Oh wait.
No. 530222
>>530177Me too. Emails from every company I’ve ever purchased anything from, random websites, the apps I use…
Like who opens Spotify and goes omg that’s right the corona I forgot.
No. 530223
>>530214>Modern generations are entitled because they have access to better medical practicesThis. Is the most retarded thing I've ever heard.
People honestly acting like boomers were the poor souls who had to suffer through the war when they were the ones who got to live the better times provided by their parents, never had a big crisis hit them, added to their own rights, messed up the economy, then wanted to live the easy life by making less kids that will bear the huge burden of providing for them during their relatively early retirement. For example, in some Mediterranean countries boomers retired at age
55 after a life of avoiding taxes and that's why their millenials are one hundred percent fucked. In my country they jacked up the housing prices so that nobody can afford to buy their own apartment and a lot of people need to apply for governmental benefits to afford their rent. They also raised the standards for entering the work force into impossible heights, you need to spend 5-6 years at minimum in school before you can even apply and even then you're supposed to work with shit pay and recently extended trial periods living hand to mouth, all the while knowing that even if they make your contract permanent you'll probably be laid off in less than 6 years and most likely required to switch careers in 15 years. From every pay check you pay a considerable amount to your retirement fund except it's not meant for you to have, it's to pay for
your parents' pension. Your retirement age has been extended to be at 72, if you even live that long after having chronic stress mess up your heart.
Fuck boomers. Fuck us having to give up our futures and economy just so we can save their lazy asses.
No. 530234
>>530223>Modern generations are entitled because they have access to better medical practices>This. Is the most retarded thing I've ever heard. Do I really have to spell everything out for you?
>People honestly acting like boomers were the poor souls who had to suffer through the war when they were the ones who got to live the better times provided by their parentsWhat better times? Oh yeah, Boomers got to live among asbestos and other types of garbage. They got to live when homosexuality and women were oppressed, riveting stuff. And that if you are lucky and born into America that was the leader in the quality of life instead of the plethora of authoritarian hellholes.
>never had a big crisis hit themAside from few wars, market crashes and such which are really no different from what people are currently experiencing. That is if you are lucky enough to born into America instead of africa, Europe or China that have had their own sets of purges, civil wars and millions of starving.
>added to their own rightsYeah because being gay in the 80s must have been fun rite?
>messed up the economyCurrent crash is all on Gen X/millenials and is way worse than what Boomers have managed to pull off. And really, what do you mean by "messing the economy"? Do you dislike your cheap shit or service industry?
>then wanted to live the easy life by making less kids that will bear the huge burden of providing for them during their relatively early retirement. For example, in some Mediterranean countries boomers retired at age 55 after a life of avoiding taxes and that's why their millenials are one hundred percent fucked. See this shit here is the kicker. You are miffed because you worry about some numbers on your bank account instead of actual problems like rights, wars or day to day survival.
>In my country they jacked up the housing prices so that nobody can afford to buy their own apartment and a lot of people need to apply for governmental benefits to afford their rent. That is on your current government that is filled with Gen Xers and millennials. It is all about current policy on housing and not what some retards did 20 years ago. Take Berlin for example, housing is cheap as fuck there because the government is actually looking out for the common folk.
>They also raised the standards for entering the work force into impossible heightsGen Xers and Millennials are in charge now.
>you need to spend 5-6 years at minimum in school before you can even apply and even then you're supposed to work with shit pay and recently extended trial periods living hand to mouth, all the while knowing that even if they make your contract permanent you'll probably be laid off in less than 6 years and most likely required to switch careers in 15 yearsYou should switch your job every 2 years though.
>From every pay check you pay a considerable amount to your retirement fund except it's not meant for you to have, it's to pay for your parents' pension. Your retirement age has been extended to be at 72, if you even live that long after having chronic stress mess up your heart. If you were born in early 2000s then you are projected to live up to 2100s so that is another thing boomers do not have.
Quit your bitching.
No. 530309
>>530279No one has even tried defending the CCP but ok.
Why don’t you vent about mainland China and the people who live there. What do you hate, anon? Be a bit more specific this time. We would all love to hear it.
No. 530325
File: 1584906786526.jpg (125.07 KB, 960x756, ERj86IwXYAE4oN-.jpg)
Being a whore and sleeping with tons of people is disgusting and fucks you up mentally and emotionally. Any "slut", specially the self proclaimed ones, ive met was a horrible person who lacked empathy.
No. 530337
>>530325I think this topic is nuanced and deserves more than “sluts are bad people”. It isn’t inherently wrong to want multiple sexual partners, or wanting male attention and validation (likely because your parents didn’t love you right lol). The issue is, the men who would engage in casual sex are low value, straight up garbage. These men will either treat her like an onahole, damaging her self-worth; or she would have to acquire massive amount of intimacy and attachment issues to cope.
On top of all this, promiscuity bolsters men. They think they can get sex without having to try. Their misogynistic views get validated. This hurts all women.
No. 530396
>>530325>>530337I think the worst thing is that it feeds low value men's delusions and tells them it's ok and acceptable to treat women as objects. The lowest of the low can visit strip clubs and have women debase themselves for pennies, can get endless personalized fap material from porn and e-girls, and enact any fantasizes they want with escorts no matter how humiliating. All of these things further contribute to how women are treated and how their female sexuality is viewed.
It just makes me so sad that shitty women who are addicted to male validation will continue to do this shit and think it's empowering, they don't care if they continue to drag women as a whole through the mud.
No. 530397
File: 1584915007647.jpg (47.19 KB, 400x400, 1584629392341.jpg)
Is it bad that I would rather die alone be with a man I'm not attracted to forever?like I get I'm 30 and I'm not amazing looking. I realize I'm at that age where you just need to settle for any guy who has a decent personality and some cash to take care of some kids but I really do not care. If he doesnt make me aroused when fucking him…what is the point? We might as well be friends at that point. They say the older you get the less shallow you should be but I'm still shallow. And this is coming from the same person who has been bullied for their looks all their life…no one ever gave my personality a chance and I'm not going to do it either lol why should I now settle down with the same people who thought they were too attractive for me during their prime?
No. 530410
>>530397I feel the same, even though I'm not 30, and I wonder if I'm autistic because of that.
I'm used to spending time in my own but I couldn't get used to living with someone I don't like - and lie to them. It's not like you can be honest, you have to act like they're the most attractive person and not a burden on your life.
No. 530447
File: 1584918576150.png (1.23 MB, 788x872, justfuckingkillme.png)
I'm honestly trying to remain calm and cautiously optimistic in the midst of all this chaos, for the sake of my sanity. But all my online friends want to talk about is how hundreds of millions of people are going to die, we're never going to be able to leave our homes again, how there's going to be widespread poverty and starvation, the world is going to turn into Mad Max and nothing will ever be good again.
I s2g I'm going to sit in my house alone playing ACNH and avoid reading anything online or talking to anyone for the sake of my mental health at this point. I'm sick of hearing this shit, this stress is really what's going to fucking kill me.
No. 530448
>>530413Remember that men are EXTREMELY invested in keeping women scared of being alone, especially after 30. The more desperate women are to find a man before their imaginary time limit, the more they will lower their standards and date men who are much uglier and older than they are. The ultimate goal of men is to have a tonne of super hot, young girls competing with each other for scraps. Capitalism also wants that, makeup and plastic surgery and weddings ain't free.
I feel for women who really want kids because doing it alone is a hard choice to make (though I often see divorced mums say their life is much easier without a grown man to ALSO take care of). But for those of us who don't want kids or aren't that set on the idea, being alone is a safe,
valid option that seriously benefits us most of the time.
No. 530461
File: 1584920148716.jpeg (121.75 KB, 1440x900, 5763B891-20EB-4D73-8DBA-350121…)
school is about to start back up as online only and I'm dreading it. The last time I did online school was in high school, it made my grades tank. rn I'm sick and my mental health can't afford to get worse under pressure, but if I drop this semester, since that's the only other option they're giving us, they won't refund tuition. I wonder if there'll even be a next semester with all the doomsdaying and fear surrounding the covid panic. I fucking hate this, I'm coughing, my chest is in pain, I'm not supposed to go outside, and I'm not even sure I can muster up the strength to be able to handle online school. haven't gotten tested for covid yet because my symptoms aren't really bad even if I've exhibited some of them (could be a sinus infection), plus my state only rly seems to be giving free tests to the elderly and susceptible. Since I had pneumonia a few years ago and my lungs are also shit from smoking I might be at risk, idfk but i don't want to expend the time and money to go to the doctor until it worsens. I fucking hate this bullshit and I don't wanna sound like a whiny entitled bitch because I hate it… it's fucking bringing me down and I'm trapped inside with my crazy panicked family which makes it even worse. All that's been giving me relief has been movies, shitty internet videos, my few irl friends, and my online friends, but now that I have school on my back again it's going to make me want to fucking die. The one thing I actually like about college is that it gave me the chance to get the fuck out of the house and interact with more IRL people in an enriching, intellectually stimulating way, and now that's all online because my school and the rest of the country are chickenshits. Can't even hang out with my IRL friends because their families are sick or they're sick. Ugh.
No. 530659
File: 1584942167474.jpeg (32.85 KB, 512x288, 4D223C86-CEC5-4A96-9E84-00671B…)
why are men on dating apps like that. I found a cute guy and he only ever calls me when he needs to beat his dick and go to sleep
No. 530673
>>530447Hundreds of millions of people will NOT die. Only Northern Italy is fucked because they're taking in all the patients and trying to save them in a situation where they would normally prioritize other cases above them. Literally no other country, or even the rest of Italy, is having its healthcare collapse on itself. People keep talking about how "the other countries will be hit by this in just a few weeks" but you've been saying this for "just a few weeks" already, it's not going to happen.
I'm so angry at all these extreme measures being taken just because of a flu. Yes, it is just a flu. A lot of healthy people who contracted the virus play the symptoms up for drama, like saying that a fever of 100 degrees and a cough is ~literally killing them~. And I really don't care about protecting a deadly sick 87-year old, they were going to die soon to begin with.
>inb4 but anon 8 million phone contracts lost china is lying!!!!!Unironically hang
No. 530777
>>530755Ditch him. He's lying and sneaking behind your back, how many degrees of separation until he's full blown cheating on you? It's a slippery slope, and you shouldn't give him the power to hurt you like that.
>>530759>Watching porn doesn't mean he's not attracted to you.It's more about compounding evidence. If they're not sexually intimate, then her bf preferring porn over their relationship actually says a lot. Especially when anon is around. That's ignoring the fact that he's not caring about her feelings and lying, which I don't think men are as prone to doing to women they want to continue to bang.
No. 530817
>>530769>>530802Who is he cucking her with? His hand? What about his imagination?
Equating watching porn as cheating just makes the former seem like a lesser evil
No. 530856
>>530817I never said it was cheating, but it doesn't make you 100% faithful either. Explain to me how it's acceptable and healthy to fantasize about fucking other people in a relationship. We're not talking simply finding other people attractive and leaving it at that. We're talking about how normalized it is for men to look at other women, fantasize about fucking them, and jerking off while claiming they are committed and faithful to their partner.
Is it acceptable because he isn't actually fucking other women? So what about a man who jerks off to the idea of having sex with children? Does that make it ok because he hasn't actually committed the act?
No. 530866
>>530817It's not physically cheating. But I wouldn't want my bf to be looking at other women like that and contributing to an incredibly exploitative industry.
From personal experience, the dudes I've dated who watch porn just saw me as a piece of meat and had minimal respect for me and constantly pushed me to be more 'freaky' than I was comfortable with
No. 530868
File: 1584979530421.jpeg (336.02 KB, 1208x2738, C73499D9-48EA-4086-9520-3D56FE…)
People are so fucking annoying!! Omocat won’t give you brownie points for kissing her ass and whiteknighting her shitty pixel game! Fuck off!!!
No. 530874
>>530817 Rephrase the greentext and tell me you wouldn't call the man who types this a cuck lmao
>My girlfriend masturbates to other men. Here's why that's okay!Like it or not, he is thinking of an actual human besides you to get himself off. He chose a porn star or camgirl or whatever over you. But you still think you're the #1 in his life. That's no way to live unless you really fucking hate yourself lol
No. 530931
Just venting.
I feel suicidal recently, I don't really know why. I felt quite good this year but I feel like I'm losing all my energy.
Not only I suffer from chronic fatigue, I have other mental and psychical problems. I'm always tired and I don't have energy to do anything. I probably never gonna get a work because of that.
I can't really get along with people, I don't like to get out to be with people anyway.
I always felt alone, all my life but I never was able to connect with people. I feel uncomfortable around people, I rarely get out because of that but also because I have anxieties.
I'm tired with people overall, and how they can be mean without any reason. Just to show where is your place.
There are things that I enjoy in life but what's the point.
I won't function normally like most people anyway, I don't even know what I should do in a future.
It's all so tiresome, I don't mind if I would have like one or two problems, but I have fuckton of them. I'm really sensitive to stimuli outside my body (noise, touch) and inside (hunger, feelings). I hate it.
I went to a therapist and psychiatrist, no one could help me anyway.
It's been years, nothing changed. Why I should get up and do things.
This post is full of cringe and bullshit but…. I'm just done.
I'm just tired with everything.
Internet is tiring, people are tiring, life is tiring. It's all so bothersome.
No. 530953
Staying at home in self-isolation has given me a lot of time to reflect on my life, and it's just made me realize that my relationship with my mom is kind of fucked. Like I randomly remembered like 4 years ago my cat escaped the house because she left a door open overnight and when she told me the next morning she said it in such an impatient way like it was somehow an inconvenience to her. Then when she was driving me to work I was trying to not cry so I wasn't talking because I was upset that my cat was gone and she got angry and said "I hope you're not going to just be all depressed forever now" like wtf…like I can't be sad for a day or two and she just scoffed at me. Then a few days later when I was trying to explain all the things I could do to find him she was like "um yeah, that's a lot of work just to get a cat" and trying to discourage me. Anyways I didn't listen to her and I got him back by sitting outside at 4am waiting for him to come home. Like if he didn't come back I don't think my mom knows I would fucking resent her forever.
Don't get me wrong either, I love my mom and I get along well with her, she's usually pretty supportive of me. But when she's in a mood or angry she can't control her emotions and I have always been the one she takes it out on. My brother has bipolar and she coddles the shit out of him but whenever I have had issues with depression in the past a lot of the time she treated it like I was just being mopey and I need to get over it. Only in the past year or two she's been more open to the idea of me being treated for depression. The last time I was on antidepressants I went behind her back because there was no reason to involve her when she couldn't even take me seriously.
Anyways I was thinking about all this because of corona and I got laid off temporarily, I can go on unemployment but if shit goes south and my landlord doesn't want to make adjustments for me I'll have to move home. And mom really wants me to, she suggested it like twice already. And she just wants to control every aspect of my life that she possibly can, like I still let her do my taxes and a few years ago she took it upon herself to make me get my passport renewed even though I haven't traveled in years she kept barking at me to call this person, call that person to get references but I was like, why don't you do all this yourself since you want it, not me. I'm trying to remove her from all my personal affairs because I just hate being yelled at by her all the time. And now I might have to move back home and she'll be on my ass to find a job, make friends, go outside, stop playing video games, come to her art club and hang around with 50 yr old women….like again I'm only venting about the worst shit about our relationship, but honestly now that I live in another city and just talk to her on the phone twice a week and go to visit every few months my relationship with her has never been better and I am just dreading the near future now because my mom(and dad) just wants me to live with her and never have my own life
Also if bipolar brother loses his job and moves back home when I'm there I will kms I swear to god he used to steal my stuff, like come into my room at 1:00 am on a school night like "I need your vcr" and sit there fucking wrestling with vcr wires loudly for like 15 minutes while I would cry trying to sleep because I had no control over my life. Also I never want to play animal crossing because in 2009? he stole my copy for the wii that I asked my mom for christmas and was so excited to get because I "didn't know how to play the game properly" so he just took it for himself and wouldn't let me play it. Also last time he was living at home at the same time as me he was an alcholic and addict, he went to rehab but I'm seriously traumatized from all the shit I had to witness in that house
No. 531015
>>530950Wow, it's like they can smell the emotional vulnerability on a woman the fucking bloodhounds.
Sorry about your dog anon.
No. 531018
File: 1585001305074.jpeg (43.42 KB, 574x430, 1573641983930.jpeg)
>>531017*MY LIFE HASN'T BEEN HELL
jesus fucking christ i am so tired.
No. 531039
>>531029How where you able to handle having sex with him while he was watching porn, cause I assume you were trying to get into the actual sex and weren't watching, while he kept it in eyeshot the whole time?
That's fucked up. Don't try and improve your sex life with him, dump him.
No. 531077
>>531056Because it's so normalized that women don't think it's a realistic standard to have a man who doesnt regularly look at porn. I myself didn't even think twice about it was until I ended up with a man who doesn't watch porn and compared the intimacy quality to my past relationships. (Spoiler alert= sex with non-coomers is infinitely more fulfilling in every way)
To anyone who needs to be reminded of this: men who don't use porn are out there. Don't settle for some coomer just because you think your only alternative is to die alone.
No. 531085
File: 1585014043550.gif (673.97 KB, 500x191, 4E19D7A3-14FE-472B-A9D6-E2894C…)
Welbutrin has absolutely killed my sex drive. I haven’t gotten off once in 2 months.
No. 531089
File: 1585014305357.png (545.68 KB, 901x705, F2D0FCB5-7573-4279-99B8-DB07DB…)
>>530397I’m 30 too and foreveralone
Also living in Southern California where nobody wants to grow up so I’m basically fucked.
Still wishing platonic gfs for companionship were a thing.
No. 531112
>>530953I'm really sorry anon. Glad you got your cat back.
Your mum sounds like she has emotional issues. I have a similar mum, like I love her, but she is
toxic. I've been in therapy. We've talked about our issues etc, but she's the way she is unfortunately, and although I know she loves me, she can be damaging to be around. I live away from home, and I'm terrified that I'm going to end up back with her due to corona. I've also a brother that stole off me growing up, he stole off my mum too (she's single parent) and it use to be my fault if he stole from me because I wasn't vigilant enough.
I know you love your family, but you never need to feel guilty for not wanting to be around them. Loving from a distance is ok.
No. 531120
File: 1585023945845.gif (1.91 MB, 245x204, 8CBADA8A-F4DB-4EA2-8A14-1BCA7C…)
>>531105I’ve had edibles. Maybe I should try smoking it. Thanks anon .
No. 531125
File: 1585024717325.png (229.02 KB, 579x306, 1450563767976.png)
>>531112Thank you anon. I feel you. I need to get some therapy for my issues myself.
No. 531139
>>531138He's an introvert and he dislikes that my roommates will be around in general. He dislikes them mostly for that lol.
He had a clash with one of them last year over something minor and stupid. (Like really minor). He holds grudges to this day.
No. 531156
File: 1585034564625.jpg (30.32 KB, 564x564, 5cd4dfc0ccfd5e59ea77a836cd986b…)
>Been dieting and exercising to get fit
>Actually counting down every single calorie I put in my mouth
>Hour of cardio each day
>I will fucking do this and feel great in my summer bod
>Down almost 10 pounds
>Yet still have a disgusting, protruding belly and my waist size hasn't gone down
Why is my body so cursed?
No. 531193
>>531192according to one of my old bosses yes. got a complaint one day and suddenly it mattered if I wore a bra behind a button shirt with an apron over that
the're nice when your breasts hurt like hell to move at all but we probably don't need them
No. 531200
>>531181>c-cup>not chestletfix your fucking bra size, there's no way your boobs look big.
>>531187you too get your bras resized all of you!
No. 531206
>>531198To be fair after I told him my feelings he told me I can go. I think he just thought I wasn’t interested since I’m kinda introverted and don’t have many close friends (but that’s kinda why it hurts more)
But I didn’t really feel good going when they didn’t actually invite me. Felt like I’d be done annoying tag along they didn’t want to go. And one of the girls going is a huge bitch who gossips about everybody and tried to break up my relationship by telling my boyfriend we should break up before lol
No. 531207
>>531200>>531204C cups definitely can look big.
I hate that whenever somebody complains on the site, the first reaction is always a condescending "you don't even know your real size!".
No. 531217
>>531207>>531205a 3 inch ratio between cup and band size are never going to look big.
https://www.bratabase.com/please utilize this site for real sizes.
No. 531232
File: 1585053372787.jpg (3.5 KB, 225x225, GrytMP95KYwAY.jpg)
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i've been waiting for an e-mail back for a week and i feel restless and terrible and clingy
my biology professor is the one person that gives me this paternal attention i never got as a child and now crave and desire and he checked on me during this covid lockdown and then maybe he took something i said wrong and aaaaaaaa
i wish i didn't have to drag those gaping wounds with my body and i wish i was less traumatized and had a home and belonged somewhere.
i know i'm overreacting and that we are on good terms and he's just busy but i feel terrible.
No. 531268
File: 1585060562478.png (104.06 KB, 480x386, CB.png)
I'm in too deep with my oneitis..
I've been putting him on a pedestal for so fucking long, while I'm left high and dry. And I do get those feminist bouts of "men are trash", and how "heteronormative relationship dynamics are created by the patriarchy"
but at the same time, I can't deny myself from things that I want either. And just like everyone else, I want love too.
Can I still make it out gals? When will I learn?
No. 531408
File: 1585078226038.jpg (47.67 KB, 683x662, 1585056076120.jpg)
Y'all need Jesus
No. 531488
File: 1585091561269.jpg (30.6 KB, 789x467, 468546545.jpg)
I have a teasing, almost flirty friendship with my coworker who's leaving for a different job soon, and I'd like to pursue him romantically after he leaves. I was talking to one of my friends about it and she tried to tell me that I'm literally GROOMING him, because he is 20 and I'm almost 23. I didn't think anything of the age difference but now she's making me feel like a fucking cradle robber. I was literally groomed as a child and she knows it ffs. This is your brain on tumblr.
No. 531525
>>531502A friend group has started to talk over me recently and I can't fucking stand it. When I realize they're not listening and starting up others conversations I just taper off and go silent. It doesn't make me sad so much as annoyed, I don't know what I did to gain such disrespect but maybe we're drifting apart or maybe they're talking mad smack lel.
If that came from my
family of all people I'd be livid. I'm sorry you experienced that anon, it's always shitty how they try to put you on spot when they obviously don't really care anyway.
No. 531595
>>531592Doesn't sound pathetic at all.
God, I can't wait for social life to go back to normal. It's day 13 and I'm losing my sanity.
No. 531638
I realise i'm probably speaking from a place of privilege because people have had plenty of shitty managers but I had literally 1 and it was years ago but whenever I'm reminded (which the post a few above did) I end up ranting to myself about it because it felt so unfair. Since this is a vent thread I'll spill it here.
It was a big, big place and she managed the money. At the time I didn't know she was a bitch, I took my phone out during a shift (against rules but literally everybody had one and used it when quiet) and used it as a calculator. She told me I shouldn't have it and I was like "…ok" and out it away because whatever. But since that time she just harrassed me. Every word was dripping with condescension and she spoke in a raised voice literally 2 inches from my face with aggressive body language and talked like I was a dumbass. Pulled me out to check my till and told me money was missing, I told her to check again and sure enough, it was fine. Every time I was under her supervision she'd do a check where everyone had to stop and turn out their pockets to see if they had their phones. Back in those times I was a people pleaser. Worked hard, took the shittier jobs and turned a blind eye to obvious double standards. Nobody, nobody except her had an issue with me and really actively liked me. I was trusted. But working under her made the job so fucking tense. I talked about it to others and they were like yeah she's so mean to the temporary staff, once you move up a bit she does a 180 and becomes nice.
So I just wanted to say fuck you to that manager. Fuck you bitch, it's not right to try intimidate, harrass and generally be shit to people because what…they're not high enough on the totem pole for you to respect? I have so much rage for you but I don't know why because most of all I feel pity for your mindset and your kind. You seemed miserable. You spread toxicity and what good does it do? Where has your targeting and paranoia got you? I hope that if you're the same you're living a bad life, and if you've seen that you were a shit person I hope you go out of your way to be nice to everyone now. Because I only had a handful of interactions and feel hate for you now, I wonder how much hate you've inspired collectively over the years. I wish you didn't exist because I really think that as I remember you anyway, you made the world a worse place to live in. I haven't encountered a person as unpleasant as you since and I hope I never will. I also hope I will never be in the situation again that I feel I have to take that disrespect just so I can financially take care of myself.
No. 531688
File: 1585143659791.png (81.67 KB, 249x336, 1334981536132.png)
>at job training
>guy asks for number
>first time that happens, accept
>text for few days
>find facebook
>from facebook find deviantart
>over 3k fav'd images of cartoon feeder porn
Just yeet me into the sun.
No. 531774
>>531738yeah, now that you bring this up i retained my job through all of this (thanks, salary) and he didn't.
ffs
No. 531775
File: 1585154447437.jpg (24.83 KB, 445x344, original.jpg)
I'm not trying to sound ungrateful for my job but ever since I got approved to work from home it's like the management is hunting for ways to micromanage temps like me. They know I'd have it 'easy,' especially bc I was never trained for a multitude of duties for another role (not my fault since I always asked and said how I wanted to learn) so I just wound up filling in with office busywork that no one else ever wanted to do. For the most part it was self-paced.
Well they hired the other temp (who was actually trained on said duties) directly a couple days ago. I figured they would be firing me in May cause no offer was given to me.
Well, now that I took my desktop to work remotely from home, they suddenly want to train me for floor inspector duties. Which would require a half day at the facility. Which completely defeats the purpose of ever having sent me home with this bulky desktop that's now planted on my kitchen table because I have no office space. "Oh anon you don't have to bring the desktop back, when you report here we'll have a laptop ready for you." I mean…lol? Why didn't they just give me the laptop in the first place? Because then they would've had to assign me one and they're wishy washy on my employment there? They need to make up their fucking minds and be straight if they're either gonna fire me, renew the contract, or hire me directly. Since they're asking me to risk catching corona to work there, gee golly, do you think they could make me an offer after all this? It's ridiculous. "We're glad you're happy to learn anon, we're just trying to give you more tasks so Nicole can justify you being here." OKAY, BUT WHY IS THIS BEING PHRASED LIKE I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR PATCHY MANAGEMENT NOT TRAINING ME? I literally cannot work on what I'm not authorized to work on. I cannot do what I don't know how, why, or when I should be doing it. I stopped asking to be trained when it became glaringly obvious I was annoying people and they wanted me to only work on the tasks they threw at me. Companies and their corporate are so fucking stupid.
No. 531776
>>531772i am so fucking sorry anon.
>>531507at this point, "nostalgia" and the past is creatively driving me and more. i cant get out of my own head, everything seems better in memory than it ever really was. i dont even think things were better before, it just feels like it from a distance now.
No. 531879
>>531866I don’t have enough money for a switch but I do have animal crossing for the 3Ds
I’ll maybe try asking to join them in minecraft though
No. 531886
>>531882Ok, I’ll try doing that
Thanks
No. 531897
>>531891I wish politicians in my country made a decision like this.
Is it even legal to ignore Putin's directives?
No. 531949
I've been having a hard time in school, but it's worse now that COVID-19 happened. Campus is shut and they have not updated the guidelines for dropping and will not make more decisions for two weeks, so I can't drop until then or I risk being put on financial aid probation for withdrawing. My teacher was nice and a better teacher in person, but online I'm struggling and I feel like I can't really get through to her or form groups for studying. Worse yet, she is assigning a midterm soon…Almost every time I think about working on things and realize I'm behind, I start panicking, and it gets in the way of me even catching up.
I've been on the verge of a nervous breakdown for like a week because my personal life is already complicated enough at home, and I'm stuck at home with my family 24/7. Tl;dr I live with four people, three of whom have serious mental issues, and am having to take on responsibilities for my siblings who are slacking off on taking their fair share of chores, while I already feel like I'm cracking from this stress. My boyfriend lives in another country and with the freeze on visa interviews, it's possible he can't move in with me for at least another year and I don't know when I'll even get to see him again. Things are getting scary in his country and people in his line of work are getting attacked now, apparently. I have no control over his safety and the (unlikely) thought of him becoming ill and me being unable to see him really fucks with my head. Where I live is going really straight down the toilet too but no one will give straight answers and keep jerking us around about the timeline, and it fucking stresses me out.
I can't work or do much of anything if I drop the class and I feel like I'll be a failure and/or lose my financial aid if I keep taking so fucking long to finish school. I don't even know if I can get a therapist right now, and I feel like I need one.
I don't expect to get advice, and maybe I'm a whiny bitch, but I just need to get it out.
No. 531971
>>531939I don't know, it's like I have always felt this way. My subconscious tells me something bad happened to me in my childhood by a family member but I also like…deny it because I don't have actual proof and if I accused someone of such a thing it would tear my family apart. I'm 27, and I was just released from a psych ward stay after being in the ICU because i….overdosed on tylenol. Liver enzymes were almost 7000 when they should be highest 72.
Nothing really makes me feel better. I mean some things "help" by masking the symptoms maybe?? But all day everyday since I have come back from the psych ward I have this voice in my head telling me "finish the job, pussy". It's overwhelming. It's terrifying. I believe I am having catatonic states or dissocating because hours can pass and I just "come to" like what the hell happened
The mental health services are shit here and all closed and backed up because of corona chan :/ idk what to do it feels like a huge pressure will just be released from me if I just off myself
No. 531985
>>531644I kept the cat, he's perfectly fine and happy while being strictly indoors.
looking back on the situation no way in hell would I have given him to that person who lets their cats outside and the ones that live inside are stuck in a house with little to no, sunlight, no toys, and no scratching posts.
No. 531987
>>531971nta i have also had this underlying feeling something happened between me and a family member (essentially grandpa, no other males in family) bc i suddenly started hating being near or talking w men/boys when i was 9 but my grandpa is genuinely a nice man and i truly have no memories of anything like that happening. i wonder if this feeling is common.
i have no idea what words to say to you or how to offer help anon but i hope you pull through somehow. maybe if you just wait it out for a bit longer the voice will ease. if your liver is genuinely failing and you aren't in US i think you can still get medical help for that even in these corona times.
No. 531993
>>531987Any chance it might've been outside of your home? Even an older child maybe? Ive suffered cocsa from a schoolmate and i've blocked it out most of my life, i still can't recall the event on itself just that it happened in elementary school when i was fairly young.
It made me feel disgusted from any touch from any older male figure, i still can only be around men my age or slightly young.
No. 532062
File: 1585190809994.jpeg (863.63 KB, 906x936, 9FD28F88-BC1D-4E10-84B6-683D50…)
Another glass of wine and 6 diphenhydramine tablets type of dead. Praying I don't wake up, anons.
No. 532185
File: 1585228082922.jpg (26.02 KB, 500x500, 3a5732a79b022431fd53dd99dcb5d3…)
I don't wanna be stuck in a house with my shitty parents for a month.
No. 532201
>>532125Idk anything about prozac, but from the antidepressants i've been on i can say that it often gets worse before it gets better, it can make you feel more suicidal and it's more of a building block to help you to improve your mindset.
They can be very useful, but it is good to be aware that it won't instantly make things better
No. 532207
File: 1585231942401.gif (43.22 KB, 220x147, tenor.gif)
All my life I've been a listener. I'd always feel bad for ithers and listen to other people vent their problems, anytime a friend or even just someone at school having a bad day needed to talk I've always been there for them.
But nobody ever listens to me or hears me out. Anytime I try to talk about myself people change the subject back onto themselves.
I'm starting to realize that talking to people is a waste of time. Everyone is too busy thinking about themselves. Or maybe I'm just boring.
In any case fuck em. The word just lost a free therapist.
No. 532227
File: 1585235810466.jpg (99.65 KB, 910x1024, 1571287722394.jpg)
I can see my crossbite getting worse with time, the crowding is worsening as well. But the crossbite is scaring me the most: now the assymmetry is visible when I smile, and even with my mouth closed I can see my lips being slightly disaligned.
I can't afford braces and I don't know if or when I will, and I feel like shit about it. When I look it up on the internet I read even scarier stuff, such as a huge chance that you're going to need jaw surgery when trying to correct bite issues in adults. There is no fucking way that I'd be able to afford that - and even then, it's a painful surgery with the chance of having several nerves cut and ending up with a numb half face permanently.
I'm so depressed. I'm considering getting into sex work to be able to afford braces. Being born poor is the worst thing that could happen to me. It ruined my life and still is. I don't know what to do
No. 532236
>>532125good luck, anon.
like
>>532169 said, make sure you're taking them at the same point every day. be honest with yourself and your dr with changes in your mood and absolutely reach out for more help if you feel any extremes
No. 532246
>>532230This is literally
abusive behavior, anon. Please don't rugsweep this.
>>532245Pet loss is one of the most painful feelings in the world. I don't think it's wrong for you to want to get a new dog, but from my own personal experience, it's important to give yourself at least a few months to process the loss and recover somewhat.
No. 532250
>>532245 > I feel so crazy I've looked up pet psychics and read forums about people dealing with loss and talking about seeing or hearing their pets (anyone have these experiences?)I kept guinea pigs for years and when the last one died I still heard her squeaking for a few days afterwards… weirded me out but it's just your mind getting used to certain sounds so you hear things that aren't there
Sorry for your loss anon, don't give money to pet psychics while you're in this vulnerable stage of grief.
No. 532251
File: 1585238928680.jpeg (181.86 KB, 1280x720, doggie cat.jpeg)
>>532245i feel the same way, anon. it was a bit longer, but hurt equally more. Theres so few words that can compare to that utter pain. if you want to vent/talk more i'll check on this thread.
No. 532257
>>532246In my mind I know it's just a way of trying to cope with the loss and holding onto something that looks like my dog (I want the same breed because they're hypoallergenic) but you're right that it's probably better to give it time, thank you.
>>532250I kept a guinea pig in elementary school and that was my last big pet loss. I want to think it's my brain trying to keep him alive but it hurts so much.
>>532251Thanks anon. It feels good to talk about it a bit so thanks for lending your ear. I just have no desire to do anything but cry and sit at his grave and remember all his habits. It's a nice day here and I couldn't help think it would be perfect for a walk around the block, even though he's had so many perfect walk days already.
No. 532422
>>532063>>532131>>532139So I woke up, unfortunately. That was actually one of the most scariest moments of my life, it's not the first time I've done this, but this time, all the people I love and cared about wouldn't stop flashing, and I was actually scared to die in my sleep.
Thank you guys for the care.
No. 532423
File: 1585260931582.jpg (46.36 KB, 400x400, 1674e45d693bd6cd_2d1018e5_400.…)
>>532227I am saying this with like utmost amount of care and compassion but it's just teeth babe. please don't get into sex work of all things just because your teeth aren't perfect or whatever. I am sure they look perfectly fine the way they are and no one is thinking "what an ugly ass broad" as soon as they notice they don't look like tom cruises. I am not sure if you are a burger or something but if it is legit jaw deformity tier I am sure you can get it on state healthcare somehow, if it is just for aesthetics there are other things to sweat more about.
No. 532437
File: 1585262447977.jpg (93.3 KB, 749x1277, ET_u1CdWsAE4Y4i.jpg)
This shit fucking INFURIATES me, people going so wild praising them, talking it up so much and acting like this is the best thing. Maybe it's because I'm fucking porn repulsed (long history of sexual trauma esp including porn, would probs be anyway though)
Like. The site has SO much sick shit, and knowingly let CP on their site, and has a ton of that nthroom stuff, you know, something you NEED to keep an eye on (horrid cp torture videos from korea rn) Like. It's just.. ugh. I hate the pornsick weirdos who don't give a shit because they jerk their dick so much.
No. 532438
>>532432Fuckin chest feeding too.
I hate the random x's they put in progressive terms, like how was folks not inclusive enough for you
No. 532449
File: 1585263612501.jpg (37.52 KB, 853x480, sad.jpg)
Creepy men on the internet harass me and my friend a lot, I really wish I was strong about it like her and able to just brush it off but it deeply upsets and scares me a lot of the time.
No. 532533
>>532466Seriously. It's even worse when I see minors pushing this shit, it's just genuinely sickening. I know someone who told me I have this personal vendetta against them for "no reason" and they "do more ggood than bad," and CLEAARRLLYY don't know about the gross shit, and everything that's not illegal is just totally a fetish and it's okay to have fetishes!
I've never heard of it but several friends have said there was bestiality on there too.
No. 532586
File: 1585279962945.gif (2.85 MB, 200x234, 61A8648F-E472-4F19-B5E0-54B2DD…)
It’s 3.30, I have an interview for medical school at 10 and I don’t feel prepared at all lol. I can’t sleep because of the anxiety and I have to get through another 25+ questions before I’m ready. My stomach is going crazy with worry so I keep having diahorrea.
No. 532607
File: 1585284467158.jpg (132.48 KB, 640x828, 1569105266969.jpg)
Saw people packing up their cars in the night and now my state is in lockdown babeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyy
No. 532621
File: 1585287413147.jpeg (23.34 KB, 500x290, 08715255-70A4-4528-AD29-257569…)
I’m so sad right now…I always loved my best friend unconditionally and we have a great relationship but I started reading our online interactions from a few years ago and she was actually cruel to me. I didn’t know what pissed her off in first place and she didn’t told me until years later and we both matured and grew up but I can’t help feeling destroyed right now.
I was living the worst years of my life (lost all my family, had to leave my house, basically I had to start my life over again) and she was there just laughing at me or complaining with some passive aggressive posts which obviously were for me.
I don’t know why I didn’t realise back then what she was doing to me and I know this probably won’t change our relationship now (I get it, she was immature and probably just wanted to be the centre of all the attention but heck, it hurts.
It hurts because I understand now why I always feel in debt with people who treat me right, why I feel guilty when someone is upset even if I’m not involved at all. I guess she convinced me I was just wrong all the time, the way I acted, how I was myself…basically made me feel guilty for being who I was and instead of telling me what was pissing her off or hurting her, she decided to made this cryptical posts and not answer when I asked, just to tell me years later that what I did wrong was this, this and this, when I couldn’t do anything to fix it.
And for some reason I love her so much still that it only makes it harder for me because I can’t comprehend how I can admire (and admired) someone who clearly disliked me back then, even if we have a good relationship now, how can I know that she doesn’t secretly hates me or despises me the way she did?
I’m sorry this is a mess I shouldn’t be reading things from eight years ago not it’s in the past and maybe I’m a masochist but I found it by accident and idk I just want to stop hurting for once in my life
No. 532651
File: 1585294529656.jpg (38.29 KB, 532x525, 4864354867.jpg)
my work crush is usually the biggest tsundere ever, even to my other coworker who he has known since he was like ten years old (the typical response people have to him complimenting them is "wtf are you complimenting me???? are you feeling okay????"), and he told my genuinely to drive safe as I was leaving today…ugh it was so cute fuck why do i fall so hard for tsun tsuns???
No. 532661
>>532653Getting a prescription is a
valid reason to be outside from what I've seen. You could maybe get a better moisturizer from the drugstore as well?
No. 532665
two months into my last relationship, my ex sexually assaulted me. i brushed it off and i tried to convince myself that wasn't what happened, that i had miscommunicated. we stayed together. over time, he got worse. we abused psychedelics and other drugs. i don't remember most of the past two years, but i remember waking up with him inside of me. i remember telling him to stop and he wouldn't. him constantly telling me he needed to parent me because i'm too incompetent to take care of myself, letting his friends criticize my appearance and telling me what they said (when they would do it via discord). he even let them bully me on social media and said nothing about it; i privated everything and can't post my face online anymore. passive aggressive gifts regarding my weight and drug use. telling people i was bad in bed, bad at cooking, ugly. isolating me from my friends. discouraging me from going to class. criticizing me for how i acted in past relationships he knew nothing about. threatening to crash the car when i said things he didn't like, and other reckless driving maneuvers. i have nightmares and flashbacks about him assaulting me. i get so shocked at how bad it really was, and i was too zonked out to remember 80% of it. it all comes back when i least expect it and i have to act normal about it because i can't tell anyone. it's appalling that i really loved someone that would do all those things at all, much less to me, his girlfriend at the time. i feel so ashamed and i blame myself everyday. it feels like my fault. ive only told maybe three people im close to, and even that feels like too many. they were so nice to me, but only because they're my friends. i feel like if anyone else knew, they'd see me as the whore i really am. see myself as? i don't know what's real. i feel like i deserved it. i feel like scum. i don't think anyone else would deserve this sort of thing, never, just me. i hate it here. he gets to live his life, and i'm just a shell. i hate that it happened and i hate that i feel i deserved it. we have lived in different states for almost half a year now and i still think about it every day. he said he was sorry, he admitted to doing it, and i have screenshots of him admitting to it. but he looks at porn that basically recreates what he did to me. he doesn't care about me. he doesn't care about my pain. he probably doesn't even think he did anything wrong. i wish i could keep convincing myself. i blocked him the other day. i felt powerful, like his hold on me lessened, but i felt guilty, too. i feel guilty. i want to stop feeling so guilty. i can't even bring myself to type the r word because i hate the idea that he really did that to me and i just stayed. but he did, and i did. even posting this now, i'm scared he will find me, or his friends will. i'm scared to be identified. i'm scared something bad is going to happen to me again. i don't want people in my life to ask me questions or know about this shit. im scared. i just. needed to tell someone.
>>524637fiona apple is good and i want you to know you have good taste
No. 532666
File: 1585298255058.jpg (6.97 KB, 235x217, 54a4008daad4565a9b5db1b94e59c7…)
>>523788i'm spooked. my roommate and i were in our living room hanging out and at 2:30 in the morning without any warning someone started banging on our door super aggressively to the point that the door was shaking. my roommate told me that a few weeks ago she had heard someone trying to get into our apartment (also really early in the morning, though not as violently), so that really doesn't help my paranoia. i've already reasoned with myself that the first time could've been someone who mistakenly got off at the wrong floor and that tonight someone probably got pissed that we were being loud (though i feel like we were talking normally), but paranoia is really getting the better of me. won't be getting any sleep tonight…
No. 532672
>>532665anon none of what he did to you was your fault nor did you deserve it. you're not a slut or a whore you're someone who got severely abused. please, please seek help. try to get therapy or get in contact with a service that focuses on women who have left
abusive relationships. consider going to the police with the screenshots as well and get a restraining order (they aren't as hard to get as one might think). i know this all probably sounds impossible to you right now in your current state but you can't let this fester. you have to take control now before it gets worse. i'm rooting for you, please take care of yourself.
No. 532674
>>532437it sickens me too. I hate how pornhub is considered cool and trendy on twitter too. people will shit all over brands social media presence but ph seems to get a pass cause they have a witty social media rep, I think the username is also pornhub_aria or something which makes me think of a girl being behind the account? I imagine a lot of people also imagine the account as some 'cool girl' dream gf or some shit. ph deserves to be met with the same attitude people have for other brands. even more so as their whole site is dedicated to the exploitation of women/girls. fucking hate how mainstream it's become. puke
porn hub sent snowploughs to help in a blizzard? fuck right off, keep your fucking snowploughs
No. 532765
File: 1585321567706.jpg (38.34 KB, 608x608, 28056295_1862759557130383_1208…)
>>532423Thank you anon. I was in a very bad mood yesterday, I'm on week 3 of quarantine so I'm feeling more down than usual. As soon as quarantine is lifted, I'll book a visit to the dentist so I can hear from him whether I'm worrying too much or not. I hope he'll reassure my dumb ass.
The thing is, if crossbite is left untreated it can get worse until your whole jaw will be visibly lopsided and deformed, and it's not only an aesthetic thing as it can cause TMJ, headaches, gum recession, spine deformity. I already have some jaw pain and I live in a poor country where there's no such thing as state healthcare when it comes to dental care, it's all on you to pay. It's a really unfortunate situation.
But I really appreciate your words and the cute mouse pic, I hope you have a great day.
No. 532769
>>532245I'm so, so sorry anon. I always post it for anons who have had their dog pass away, and I hope it'll help you.
https://www.reddit.com/r/baww/comments/1m7exu/dogs_never_die/
>It's a nice day here and I couldn't help think it would be perfect for a walk around the block, even though he's had so many perfect walk days already.You sound like a wonderful owner, and I'm sure your dog lived such a happy life with you and your family! I'm sure he's up in pup heaven, passing the time with other pups and endless toys and treats while he waits faithfully for you and your family to join him again. Be kind to yourself. I wish I could give you a hug right now.
No. 532817
>>532814why do you call yourself a femcel and why do you compare yourself to other women? that's just silly.
>Is femininity not valued by society and men?does it really matter?
No. 532829
>>532814every social benefit you've received for presenting as feminine, she has not, and every social benefit she's gained for presenting as masculine, you have not.
there are pros/cons to each. for women, it will always be a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation either way.
if you are more comfortable being feminine, then continue to present that way. success and likability in work and relationships has more to do with confidence and security than anything else. being comfortable with yourself is the first step towards that.
getting cheated on can be in the cards for anyone no matter how good of a partner, person or worker you are. it has nothing to do with whether you're feminine or masculine. forget about your POS cheater, and focus your energy on improving yourself and your life in ways that make
you happy.
there's no reason to compare yourself to the new girl when you can both be successful, happy women in different ways. hell, it seems like you admire a lot of her qualities – talk to her, form a strong female friendship and use that solidarity as a platform to uplift yourselves together.
No. 532843
>>532701I could try to get referred by him soon since he should be out of quarantine in a few days. I haven't been a patient of his for long but he seems like a really good doctor and actually asked me directly when he saw my scars if I still struggled with it. I might've been able to get a web-consultation but I wouldn't have been able to talk about my mental health as freely since I live with my mother. Just don't know how much use it'll be to ask for treatment with the current situation since the system is in such disarray. Feels like you have to be at the absolute bottom to get help sometimes and especially now. It was already super hard to ask for help last time and I was honestly shocked to be rejected. Maybe my last doctor wrote a bad referral. I don't know.
Thank you so much for the advice. It's nice to hear from someone who understands. I had been four months self-harm free before this relapse as I do have a high threshold before I go to that extent. It's just such tough times right now (for everyone more or less really) I couldn't keep fighting anymore. The scars just get worse and worse as well. Thanks for caring. It is a good reality check because I do try to minimize the issue so as to not get even more upset with myself.
No. 532857
>>532814She's probably naturally pretty, like what men would value for "low maintenance." It sounds like she has a decent life and is confident, so she just emits positive energy that both men and women want to be around.
I'm damaged from the past too anon but we gotta get our shit together. People who don't wanna ever be made to feel uncomfortable or leave their happiness bubbles sense our damage like stink on shit and don't want to be around us. It's nothing to do with femininity.
No. 532883
File: 1585338630689.jpg (76.48 KB, 742x699, 64654648.jpg)
my cat ran away…it's been three days, she's usually back by now. if she got run over or some asshole found and kept her I'm going to be so angry. I feel like the worst pet owner ever. She's not even fixed because I was putting it off aaagggh.
No. 532892
>>532883If this has happened before, then I hope she knows the way home.
I feel you anon. Hope she comes back soon
No. 532894
>>532881The account is the one she opened for me when I was around 15 so that I had a place to keep money that wasn't cash. She's always had access to it, it might even be in both our names? It was fine when I was a minor but as I got older she still insisted on monitoring my spending activity and funds because she's a control freak. I think the only way to get her off the account is to close it down and start a new one, which I'm probably going to do soon to achieve some independence.
>>532887Thank you for confirming this isn't normal anon, she doesn't see anything wrong with her behavior so I'm glad to know I'm not crazy lol. Mine also used to read my statements until I switched to electronic. I'm gonna try to talk to her about it and assert that I want more strict boundaries between us.
No. 532914
File: 1585343176813.gif (216.37 KB, 200x200, tumblr_mz7ybdPPuK1sv6zdro6_r1_…)
I have a huge cavity that I was supposed to get filled earlier this month but all of the dental offices are closed and it's starting to get sensitive AHHHHHHH
No. 532924
File: 1585345045171.jpg (35.27 KB, 500x500, EE_r76DW4AAkmQf.jpg)
I understand it's my issue as well, and I'm working on it.
I don't think of myself as an alcoholic, but I definitely was, I have MAYBE some wine every other week, but I don't let myself get super super drunk aside from maybe every few months.
My boyfriend understandably hates it, I get it, I think it's fun, but I guess I'm annoying, that being said, he takes me to liquor shops, let's me buy shit, he says I fantasize too much about alchol when I'll just say "Wow ___ sounds good" "I could go for ___" yet he talks CONSTANTLY about how amazing mixing certain drinks with rum and shit sounds, jokes about getting wasted, all that shit. We also smoke weed every so often, and he has no problem with me getting really high, to the point where I've said I get to the degree of a scary high (I used to be very addicted to drugs, hard drugs even) but he smokes it around me a lot and it's really hard for me to hold back smoking some.
I feel really embarrassed and awful. I got drunk last night because I had a single drink without realizing it was super super hard, he's barely even talking to me today and our last few texts were him angry at me and it hurts to read. Idk what really to do now.
No. 532926
>>532925Said it perfectly.
I was groomed from age 9 with porn, I was shown shittons of hard bdsm/abuse fetish shit and taught that if you don't like it, you're boring and nobody will give you attention. I was brought into sexworking from 16-19, the thought of being recorded during those times where men didn't even ask for my ID or anything (in general it's scary but especially that.) When these girls support pornhub I want to vomit because it feels like they're just ignoring all this shit, because this happens to thousands of girls, not just me.
And men never understand I feel. "Oh well all of this is consent and you're overreacting." Fuck you. This type of shit is why older men took advantage of me and why CP of myself exists on the internet and I have found floating around. FUCK.
No. 532927
File: 1585345507780.jpg (47.07 KB, 480x480, P6.jpg)
>>532924You know what to do.
No. 532930
>>532924>Him: enables the behavior>Also him: "HOW DARE YOU DO THE BEHAVIOR!"Making you feel guilty is a way to control you anon, he's
abusive and gaslighting you to your face.
No. 532931
>>532923I hate that “cool girl” shit tbh
It’s on the same pathetic level of people who wear ahegao shirts lmao
No. 533010
>>533000I'd talk to him first to make sure you're 100 % certain, it'd be best to keep it between you two for the moment i think.
If he's significantly younger then go to your parents first.
I'd also go from the perspective of saying 'I saw you said this about me, what does it mean / i feel its inappropriate and its making me uncomfortable' rather than being accusatory and confrontational as that may make it harder to resolve. I'm really sorry though, it doesn't sound like an easy situation to be in at all
No. 533028
I nearly fainted today from stress. I've had severe anxiety about school and my loved ones and after cutting my hand on a broken dish today, I got way too close to fainting. Vision started fading, ears buzzing/ringing and drowning out sound, lightheaded, etc. I've had a migraine since then, it started in the morning and I took medicine but after that almost fainting, it won't go away. When it gets better I'm still tired or having fucked up vision.
I've had near fainting spells over stress before, but the last one was when I was worried my mom was legitimately going to die or get brain damage after she fell. Even with the serious stress I was under late last year, I just cried a lot. I don't remember getting this close to fainting.
I don't know if this means I need to drop one of my classes and take care of myself/focus on the other course I'm not struggling as much with, or to just try to get a grip on my life as it is now. Last semester I had to drop one class (the same course) for mental health reasons but I kept my part-time job and saved up money. I can't work now. I think I'll feel like an idiot and a failure if I have to do it again and postpone transferring to a four year, but it's so horrible trying to do it online at a time like this. I'm starting to wonder if trying at this school is just cursed and I should wait until I transfer to finish, if it's an option and not really expensive.
No. 533044
>>533036boo fucking hoo
i’m happy for you that your biggest problem rn is being ugly
No. 533058
>>533055It's obvious greed though, wanting to be one of the lucky people who get special treatment and a better lot in life. Most people aren't particularly pretty, or rich, or famous, or smart, or popular, the majority is just average and feeling hard done by because you are too is greed. We don't all get to be part of the 1%.
People who discriminate because of looks is shitty but the problem is ugly people being treated badly rather than average people not getting privileges.
No. 533066
>>533028Don't beat yourself up for being unwell right now, anon. That sounds very scary and i hope you take care of yourself as best as you can rn, you deserve it. You're not a failure at all, you've tried all this time, not giving up. I am rooting for you anon and wish you'll feel some calm asap.
>>533048 A lot of people won't even try to get stuff like abuse and how it affects you in the long run, glad to see you still trying, well done, proud of you!
No. 533086
File: 1585367417152.jpeg (239.45 KB, 641x540, 641AB37E-3602-4606-A14E-3D9D95…)
I think I’m in love with my roommate, I can’t imagine live without her. But she has a boyfriend, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like me like that. Ouch my heart hurts.
No. 533117
File: 1585370807051.png (132.08 KB, 1206x553, Capture.PNG)
You farmers ever heard wanted a truly free and open place away from these biased mods?
I found this place called cirnochan.net seems real comfy
No. 533140
File: 1585378608168.jpeg (338.77 KB, 750x518, 613B029B-2C41-4138-93AB-16C642…)
fuck im so tired of straight people telling me to just be calm and patient with blatant homophobes and that i can’t change their minds by cutting them off and refusing to speak with them.
it’s not my job to fix them and be their token Good Gay and even if it was, i’m not fucking doing it. i’ve had it up to here. i’ve been harassed on my own fucking campus, by one of my parents, and various random people throughout time just because i fucking like girls. it’s not like i’m out here screeching about eating pussy or waving a big rainbow flag. god fucking forbid i want to hold the hand of the girl i like. i’m jus tfucking tired of being told i need to stay calm when i’ve had to endure being told i’m disgusting and unnatural and whatever the fuck else when i’m not fucking hurting anyone or doing anything wrong. rage. if one more fucking wimp tells me to be nice to those people i’m gonna mcfreakin lose it!!!!!!!
No. 533143
>>533140Anon I'm so sorry you are dealing with that but I just have to say
>if one more fucking wimp tells me to be nice to those people i’m gonna mcfreakin lose it!!!!!!!Made me cackle so hard I woke up my bf
No. 533146
File: 1585381553378.png (35.78 KB, 1553x264, degen.PNG)
>>533117is this bait? went there and am immediately greeted with lolishit, no thanks
No. 533262
I don’t care if my bf has a girl friend at all. It doesn’t piss me off because they share the same hobbies, in fact I’m glad he can talk with people who understand him so I don’t have to pretend and he doesn’t have to feel like he’s forcing me to like something which I clearly don’t.
What pissed me off is he fucking didn’t listen to me while I was talking about something important because he was talking with her and the proceeds to tell me that he’s laughing because she blocked someone on social media because they choose tea over coffee. And then doesn’t even ask what I was talking about.
Seriously? How stupid are you to be oblivious to the fact I hadn’t been talking since?
We spend all day together now (obviously), he basically stays up all night working on some of his jobs so if I wake up early to have a conversation with him, I wish he’d appreciate my company instead of talking to her or anyone, just because she stays up all night too. And this goes for his friends abroad too, and his cousin, a basically man child who only likes to play video games and insists my bf to do the same.
But if I say something probably I end up looking like the jealous and insecure one and nope, far away from that. I miss my bf paying attention to me and not getting all butt hurt when I tell him
>but anon you’re taking with people too!
>you use your phone too!
>you do it too!
No, scumbag, at least when you’re talking with me and I’m talking with someone else, I ask you if you can wait just a second because I’m talking with this person or whatever and I can’t listen to you right now, if you don’t mind.
He basically wasn’t listening to me, admitted it during “our” conversation and then couldn’t give a fuck to try to amend it.
I’m sorry for the cursing, I’m just angry
No. 533283
File: 1585408542434.jpg (192.27 KB, 1080x1920, Screenshot_20200328-100611.jpg)
>tfw dad is having a midlife crisis and corona is just escalating it
>"you and your mother need to stop spending all of my money" (i don't spend his money lol)
>proceeds to buy another gun for his collection, probably hundreds of dollars
>gets mad at my mom for buying groceries, gets madder when she's against him buying a new car during the pandemic
>mfw his conflict resolution is "fuck you" "fuck off"
>get these texts in pic related while i'm asleep
>wake up, go get some water
>"why isn't it done yet"
he's an absolute narc but he's been able to keep it under control since i was raped/almost died 3 yrs ago. part of me understands: it's hard to be a father, it's hard to go to work for your family and self sacrifice. but he makes it seem like he's a martyr when that's… literally the bare minimum for supporting a family you chose to have
No. 533293
File: 1585409272798.jpg (97.08 KB, 800x533, Uh.jpg)
Stepdad keeps inviting the neighbors over to socialize and my input isn't being heard at this point, even though we're all supposed to shelter in place. These people he invites are typical attention-starved extroverts that need to be around others to live. But mostly to party and drink which he enables by providing them liquor. He invited them over last night. It's not so bad cause there are some girls my age who come because they're daughters of so and so, but it's not like I've known them long or well. When they got here they knocked on my bedroom door and asked to hang out which…at this point if they've got corona then they contaminated my entire apartment so fuck it. They've been picking on me for being antisocial and making out that I must not like them or want to hang out or something. Didn't feel like I had a choice.
To give an example of the scope of stupidity of these people: We tried playing cards against humanity because I and one of the girls wanted to see how everyone would react to edgelord humor. One of the 10/10 Stacies couldn't read or pronounce half of the words. She's 22 and needed help saying 'Auschwitz.' I don't even think she knew what it was, she was genuinely perplexed by this entirely new word. Mfw I'm going to catch corona and die for the needs of these vapid and stupid people.
No. 533306
>>533262honestly, that sucks. He has no social awareness, and it's being generous. Did you talk with him right after that specific situation in which you were talking about something important to you and he completely ignored it as he was focused on some funny story from that girl? Did you try to treat him like a dummy he is by making an example, as in, "imagine how would you feel if you're talking to me and i'd be looking at my phone constantly and didnt pay attention what you say?"
Best course of action though would be maybe stating your concern as simple and clear and possible, tell him that you're glad he has good friends - be vague if you worry bringing up her specifically would make you feel like you're coming off as jealous - but it's important to you that while you're spending time together, it's just you two, no additional distractions. Hope it works out for you anon, it sounds like relatively small issue but super annoying, the more often it happens.
No. 533358
>>532926I am so sorry you experienced this anon.
>>532931it's honestly sad. why don't these girls love themselves?
No. 533362
>>533032same. I've not left the house in 9 days and it isn't bothering me in the least. maybe I'm abnormal haha just lived this way for so long, going a week without leaving the house is no biggie
>>533267praying for a speedy delivery for you anon
No. 533456
File: 1585434096449.jpg (386.55 KB, 750x738, 1538628102319.jpg)
I HAVE SUCH LOW LIBIDO BUT ONLY ONE CELEBRITY MAKES ME HELLA HORNY NO MATTER WHAT, WHY AM I A FUCKING DISGRACE
No. 533651
>>533306Thank you for replying anon. I talked with him last night, I had to find the right words and not let my disappointment talk for me and let me say things I know I didn’t mean.
He understood it all and apologised. I told him I felt hurt because I felt like at that moment something so trivial was more important than me and it made me feel like no one, even if he didn’t mean it.
He told me he didn’t ask because I didn’t talk afterwards and he thought it wouldn’t be that important and that he told me about her to talk about something. We ended up laughing because the situation was absurd but he compromised to be more present when I’m with him.
No. 533761
File: 1585498801957.png (41.34 KB, 126x193, 1576026028205.png)
>saw a 4chan thread about the hypmic anime and how they like it because "it sounds like it's about a couple of bros taking down the matriarchy"
>series has majorly fujo fans who are fine with women just being an evil plot device and shit on women into otome stuff
Women who are doormats and pickmes are so tiring in fandom spaces.
No. 533780
File: 1585501838842.jpg (93.65 KB, 455x456, tumblr_52d477add7fe2e29ce7daa4…)
i've been dangerously close to slipping into a depressive episode for the past week or two. i think it's a combination of general self-hatred, being stuck inside, school getting cancelled due to covid, that sort of stuff. i don't know what to do…
No. 533786
I can't stop trying to find something wrong with my boyfriend. Sometimes I become irrationally convinced that he's hiding some secret, like he's secretly gay or violent. When it gets really bad I imagine things as horrible as murderous intent or cp. I'm starting to pinpoint what it is, but I can't accept it. Long story short, I used to be involved in the same gross circles as someone who was murdered sort of recently (she's posted in a thread, I'm sure someone will know who I'm talking about). I was very vaguely friends with her and when it happened a bunch of people spammed me with questions and links to videos of it happening and random accounts mocking her death started harassing her mutuals, and I guess it was somewhat traumatic in the end.
I absolutely hate the idea of co-opting someone else's traumatic event like this and I can't swallow the idea that it affected me enough to make me this paranoid and depressed. But since then, I can't shake the feeling of just…absolute disgust and disillusionment with the world. It's hard not to assume every single man out there is a violent hedonistic pervert, a pedophile, a murderer. I feel really weak. Obviously I removed myself from those circles of people immediately and this is the only forum I go on now, and I have no reason to believe my bf would be like this (especially since he felt disillusioned with internet culture way more early on than me and probably hasn't been on the chans since 2009 or something) but like I said, I can't shake it off. I've even considered suicide just to get a break from feeling this way. I'm sure a lot of people who frequent forums can relate, and I wish I could just get over it.
If anyone read all of this, thank you. I've been told talking about this will help me get over it but it's really embarrassing. Like, how on earth would I explain 4chan to a therapist?
No. 533789
>>533786I understand the first bit, I've been abused and cheated on so there's this paranoia that my bf is going to do that too. I think it's just how your mind begins to expect things after experiencing it for so long even if you aren't particularly at risk in your current situation.
Be really honest and open with your bf about your concerns and stay away from sites that give you anxiety and paranoia.
I would also suggest going to a therapist, if anything just to talk about how that person's death and online forums affected you. I'm sure the right one would be very understanding
No. 533805
>>533803It's hard to not be sympathetic for an old person, regardless of what they did. I don't think that makes you weak, it's not nice to see someone suffer.
It's good that you talk to the son though, that's very kind of you
No. 533831
>>533803i think it's reasonable to feel this way, especially with something like alzheimers. most people seem to have a collective sympathy for groups like the very young, the very old, animals, basically those who can't really understand what's going on. it's sad in a very visceral way to see those types suffer regardless of the circumstances, imo. i'm sure it's confusing to feel this way about him now but i don't think you should beat yourself up for it. at least he can't hurt anyone ever again, if that gives you any solace
>>533786i believe i know who you're talking about… i knew her very, very vaguely but it still made me feel off during the days that followed. what happened to you does sound traumatic, i think you can tell a therapist that you lost an acquaintance/friend in a horrific way and go from there. sending you love anon
>>533791thank you anon, i'll do that. i already lay around the windows like a lizard but i'll look into hobbies and see if i can move some of my exercises to the backyard.
:) No. 533960
>>533958How is that projection? People with BPD literally behave this way. I know because I've meet people like that before.
>>533957Very mature.
No. 533965
>>533960>how is it projection that I jumped to an armchair diagnosis based on 2 sentences and a very common human emotion?The symptoms shes expressing are criteria for a thousand other things (general or diagnosed anxiety, ocd, general low self esteem, etc).
But I'm sure you and your lolcow psych degree aren't projecting,
nonny.
No. 533973
File: 1585531494416.jpg (10.38 KB, 605x259, aXPPjGnq_700w_0.jpg)
>>533960>I know because I've meet people like that before.everyone. step back. anon here only knows the truth. nothing but the truth.
No. 533978
File: 1585532032742.gif (139.42 KB, 275x221, 1531708718292.gif)
>>533973Inb4
>u mus b bpd hurr No. 534061
File: 1585552546368.jpeg (Spoiler Image,29.77 KB, 300x300, F5A402C7-B102-4FF2-86D3-15E1F1…)
Why did god give me so much boob but so little ass in an era where men aren’t impressed with boobs but go nuts over a nice butt
No. 534120
>>534118i second this, someone having a naturally big butt doesn't automatically mean it's gonna look good, in fact, it's the opposite a lot of the time
do squats or smth lol i'm not an expert
No. 534147
Does anyone here have family/parents that are shitty but not enough to be abusive? You hate them but you feel guilty about it because they're not monsters or anything, just really draining to be around?
My mom's made A LOT of parenting mistakes in the past, but it ain't cause she's psychopathic or narcissistic or anything, she's just a big baby who didn't get over her own past trauma and refuses to take responsibility for it even now. Everytime I hint that she's hurt me before, she falls into a rage and then goes into another room to cry. I used to feel bad about these things but ATP I'm just annoyed cause it feels like she does it on purpose. I get that being blamed for anything by your kid hurts, but you gotta confront that at some point and accept that you're not as good as you want to be for her.
I should know better. She'll never accept any blame for the things she's said and done. I have no one in my life that I can trust or talk to about these things, so I guess I keep hoping that one day, she'll say she's sorry and mean it (no 'I'm sorry, but you-').
That's…never gonna happen. It frustrates me to no end that I have a big gaping hole where my family's support was supposed to be, and literally nothing else in the world can replace that. If I'm very very lucky, it can only ever come close.
No. 534150
>>534147I think I kind of relate, anon.
My mother's the same, but she's a raging narcissist and clearly mentally ill. There are times where I hate her so much and just wish for her to die, but then I feel so bad for having those thoughts, because she is
actually nice and funny sometimes.
She used to resort to physical and emotional abuse in the past, but now that I'm grown up she cannot hit me as much as she used to, so now she sticks to the emotional abuse. I'd say I am used to it at this point but it never fails to make me angry and start shaking from anger because that woman is so impossible. I've been dealing with her for 20 years now and she never fails to make me angry in new ways. (Also cannot move out because of my family's culture and the endless guilt I feel so rip.)
But then, I also cannot help but feel bad for her because she's had a fucked up childhood herself and I just feel so much fucking guilt for even thinking those hateful thoughts about her when I am angry. I don't consider her a monster, just someone who's never really learned how to raise kids and treat them right because it was the same for her. She's known nothing but abuse and neglect all her life but then that really doesn't give her the right to treat me this way either.
And the same goes for yours, she really doesn't have an excuse to treat you that way because of her own trauma.
No. 534152
>>534137i get that some people see sex as an important aspect of their relationship, but it's not everything anon
don't let your relationship get ruined by something like that. it's like
>>534141 suggested, i recommend going to a sex therapist. hopefully you will get it fixed and if it still won't work then i hope you won't beat yourself up over it because sex is not everything in a relationship
No. 534156
>>534147Don't look at it as all or nothing, as if someone either abused you or nothing bad happened. A lot of people forget about the term "neglect," and parents neglect their emotional duties to their children all the time. Regardless of what happened in the past, how she handles criticism isn't healthy and she's chosen to invalidate your feelings rather than be an adult facing her mistakes. That's extremely aggaravating and painful.
Many adults with children get so many passes to act like shit. Not to sperg, but it drives me nuts. When I am criticized for my behavior, I'm supposed to take it in stride and make changes. I don't have children to hide my poor character behind or explain it away. Adults who've raised children tend to have this nasty habit of either directly blaming their children for their shortcomings or blaming childrearing in general for driving them to commit shortcomings. If not those excuses then they just find another way to pass the buck and not accept any view of themselves that's less than they were great parents who did their best. Sorry but it really disgusts me, probably because my mom is the same and that's the reason why I don't talk to her. She spelled it out in a letter that she pretty much considers herself a great parent, anything bad she did was because a man/her past drove her to do it, and anything else that I didn't outright deserve was at least not perpetuated on her end. No accountability nor respect for my feelings whatsoever!
No. 534183
>>534176I used to be exactly like that when I was an alcoholic. When I took back control of my life and quit drinking, I stopped going apeshit over minutiae.
I stg I don't get enough appreciation for kicking the habit, people have no idea how hard it is, the biggest obstacle i ever overcame. So I have to toot my own horn - BRAVO ME!
No. 534192
>>534152>>534151>>534141 thank you anons, you're right. he's told me multiple times that his favorite things about me are not my looks even if he finds me beautiful and attractive. he said he was happy just being with me and simply thinking about me put him in a good mood.
my mind was clouded by all my insecurities when i posted that. i should see a sex therapist, but with quarantine and my shit wi-fi, i don't know when i would be able to. for now we'll keep communicating and working on our (very new) relationship.
No. 534224
File: 1585589348042.jpg (24.74 KB, 480x481, 89349736_2519213008322126_6453…)
finacé just showed me how much of a normie he is. his work just decided for the week they are shutting down. he's still getting paid but he's mad because now he has nothing to do this week. he just moaned about how this weekend he was bored because he had nothing to do and doesn't know how he'll survive this week. i told him i'd help him find stuff to do and he scoffed and didn't want to hear it because he was mad.
normals who are mad they have to quarantine and are "bored" need to expand their horizons a bit. the internet has literally everything you can imagine on it as well as us having regular television, netflix, amazon prime, a shit ton of books, and plenty of dvds. we can both start spring cleaning, walk the dogs, or try a recipe together. i got really sick about 3 weeks ago and under doctors orders have been under extreme quarantine and literally haven't stepped outside unlike these whiners but I found shit to do. i've also been seeing this a lot on my facebook feed of people starting to go stir crazy and it makes me mad because they even have the ability to go outside for fresh air but that's not enough. plus kids having to stay home with their parents and the shitty parents openly talking about how much they hate having the kids home. it's all just eyeroll inducing everyone acts like having to stay home and chill is the worst thing ever even in this day in age. it's really not that bad.
No. 534240
>>534224 > i told him i'd help him find stuff to do and he scoffed and didn't want to hear it because he was mad.Shit like that would make me worry about retirement with him, or him losing his job and being an angry nightmare to live with during that.
Maybe I'm projecting though, I've spent quarantine thanking god that me and my ex are over. He would be hell to stay home with, always bored and moody for no reason.
No. 534284
File: 1585597102601.jpeg (6.75 KB, 208x242, images (20).jpeg)
I live with my mom and I think the quarantine thing is getting to her. She gets mad at me for working, gets mad at me for not working, gets mad at me for her own forgetfulness, gets mad and blames me for counting on her after I ask her to do things and she says she'll do them…
No. 534290
File: 1585598490314.png (167.83 KB, 540x270, e78d4d85-a515-4359-add1-3070a8…)
I've had tests done and met up with a psychologist ti finally figure up what kind of mental disorder I have, if any… and now I can't pick up the results because of the lockdown and because public transport isn't working.
I just want to know dammit!
No. 534303
File: 1585600975854.jpg (36.65 KB, 720x720, 1462073435330.jpg)
Either something went wrong, or someone stole the fucking package I've been waiting for for a while.. It was a skirt from a brand I really like that I found much cheaper, I've been looking forward to it all month, because it was a big treat to myself. It's just gone despite saying it was delivered a few days ago.
Our post office is just SO shit too, they never knock or even leave a slip. I also just feel stupid with how much I'm crying but I was just really looking forward to having this. I can't even figure out how to do a claim for it, everything is giving me errors for it.
No. 534315
File: 1585602580934.jpeg (163.91 KB, 650x650, CDF41EBD-0423-472D-8985-E45A4A…)
I don’t want your fucking Corona porn subscription!!! Unlike men I don’t stay home to jerk off all day. Give me free e-books, free Skillshare, free MMO sub!!! It’s so unfair that only coomers are being catered to.
No. 534316
>>534303I feel for you anon but try to calm down, you can get a new one or a refund
Not everything is lost
No. 534324
>>534315Some artists have put up free classes on gumroad, with the vouchers on instagram profiles and such. Give it a Google in case you can find something useful!
I was hoping skillshare would step up too but they're probably just making lots of money from this. Pornhub will always have business but some of the learning sites will never get this traffic again
No. 534329
File: 1585605356740.jpeg (265.72 KB, 1024x1024, CBB6295E-4901-40BA-8F4B-B91E78…)
my ex (who works independently and had let me work with him around a year into our three year relationship with no issues, we carried on working together after the breakup) cut off my access to work aka my only way of making money for myself out of nowhere today, i’ve only stayed civil with him this whole time because i can’t make money any other way until i find a different job (which is bordering on impossible in the uk in general let alone with the quarantine stuff happening atm) and he knows that and enjoys the power trip. so since he pulled some spiteful shit i said okay, then give me back the 1k+ worth of stuff i brought for the flat we both moved into together that i left behind out of kindness and not wanting to inconvenience you by taking away everything (which is ironic because that’s what he’s just done to me) so i can sell it all and make some money to put away. i’m talking two sofas, fancy curtains, a rug, a huge wardrobe, an overpriced branded blender, an expensive ass fucking tumble dryer, i also paid for all the plates, cutlery, cups, storage units, ALL of it. the dumbass literally used paper plates and plastic cups even after i spent £45 on a dining set. i left it all to him even though i paid for them in full with my own fucking money and this scrote is STILL trying to play power games by not letting me come to pick any of it up, then saying he’ll buy it all off me but trying to say it’s all secondhand despite me buying it all brand new (just because it’s been in your flat doesn’t make it secondhand retard, buying secondhand would be buying things that have been pre owned or buying stuff from a charity shop that’s been priced down)
like give me my shit back and fuck off. it’s the fact that he doesn’t realise everything in that flat is mine and genuinely thought i’d just let him take away my only source of income during a fucking quarantine while he sits there in a flat full of stuff i paid for. i furnished the entire place, he wouldn’t even have a fucking toothbrush if i hadn’t paid for it because he’s an incel with rich parents and no work ethic even with the work he does. i paid our full rent (just under 800 a month) so many fucking times because he wanted to watch violent porn and play video games instead.
i hate myself for ever letting him abuse me (physically, verbally, mentally, financially) the way he did and continues to try and do
No. 534363
File: 1585611081509.jpg (42.32 KB, 904x531, 186b73.jpg)
I can't stand my father. I dunno if it's old age or he's always been this way, but now that i've moved out of my place, i realized he's fucking insane. He honestly thinks the virus thing is just a way to turn us into a police state and the lock down /stay home things are only to catch 'bad guys' breaking the law. I honestly want to punch him, but i'm glad i'm away from that insanity
No. 534390
File: 1585619672284.jpeg (885.35 KB, 1242x1157, 87ADBB13-C4B6-4B10-B068-89D43B…)
I'm lonely
That's all I have to say
No. 534430
>>534369Don’t feel bad anon, ppl think I’m an 11 year old boy anytime I’m on mic gaming online. I never bother correcting anyone; less abuse as a whole tbh.
I don’t think most are familiar w what they look/sound like, you’re prob just average and overthinking.
No. 534466
I'm burnt out, mentally drained, and I'm ready for someone to come along to care for me but there won't be anybody. It doesn't matter what I've accomplished or worked hard for, my effort can't always raise me. All that has served for is proof to others that they don't have to do for me. They say I can always take care of myself and give me a pat on the head for being independent, like they're so low key thankful to not have to expend any effort that they never intended to give me. What better cover than to use my strengths as an excuse to be indifferent towards me? Oh, I could handle it I suppose. Everyone else seems to get a pass to be selfish but me.
Why did I do all this shit just to come out so exhausted and alone? What's worse is that I'm so traumatized from the terrible shit people did to me when I thought they would keep me safe and loved, that loneliness seems like the lesser evil. Despite how much I hate it. Is there a word for understanding that while the world is unfair, I don't want to continue to live an unfair life? When my existence only benefits others profiting off my work, emotional labor, or empathy, I start to ask what I'm actually getting out of all this. The list is very short in my mind. I realize now that no one has ever loved me for me, they've always loved what I did for them. This pandemic just emphasized the writing on the wall. If my life was an arcade game, I think I'd have the highest score because no one else would want to play it.
No. 534493
>>534224I'd love to stay home and be fucking bored. Instead, as self-employed, I have to fucking work full time for less money than before because everyone wants a rate cut.
Fucking normies bitch about being paid to do nothing.
No. 534497
>>534224I literally cannot fathom getting bored with an internet connection. You have all the TV, movies, books, games, and learning materials in existence at the tip of your fingers, for free most of the time! At worst I get paralyzed by indecision because there are so many things I want to do and watch and read, and I don't have enough time for all of it.
The only thing I'm bored with is the food we have at home, and the lack of exercise options.
No. 534517
>>534515Thank you anon. Doesn’t downplay anything. Just brings me a little bit of comfort.
I hope you’re right.
No. 534706
>>534150I relate right back to you anon…I guess this isn't something you ever get used to. I wish I knew how to not get angry too. I'm sorry to hear she's hit you in addition to the emotional abuse. I've been spared that kind of treatment, at least.
>>534156I agree with literally everything you said. Sometimes I feel like people treat their kids as accessories or exentions of themselves, anything other than human beings with separate feelings and thoughts. Most parents I've met IRL have seemed very incompetent and incapable of raising a child. It's a small miracle most of these kids turn out normal-ish, or even well adjusted. So sorry about your mother…how selfish of her.
No. 534740
>>534116this anon is right lol
>>534134 also interesting convos take 2 people anon, try to contribute
No. 534757
File: 1585685887848.jpg (459.83 KB, 1600x1200, 1534657307486.jpg)
All of my friends have boyfriends now, even the shy and awkward ones. I liked that we all used to be "late bloomers". Now I'm the only one left behind. Kissless virgin at 21. It sounds so embarrassing and I feel so left out. At the same time I don't want a relationship. I'm perfectly happy indulging in escapisms and studying all day. It genuinely makes me happy to not have a close and needy relationship. This is almost saddening in a way, cause by 21 I should have some desire to get a boyfriend like all of my friends. I feel like something is wrong with me, lots of guys hit me up but I find no guy attractive or remotely interesting. Even if a guy was all that, I still wouldn't pursue him cause I simply don't care? It all seems like too much effort. I hate this about me. Am I gonna prioritize escapisms before actually living my life cause I'm so uninterested in everything? Why do feel uncomfortable in any romantic setting? Anons what's wrong with me? I would love to have a marriage and kids and travel around the world with someone I love but I just can't see that happening with an actual person. Does that make sense? I have this idealized picture that I would never pursue irl.
No. 534818
File: 1585695212535.png (111.06 KB, 400x337, 4644CD11-027D-4B01-A618-6F5486…)
>>534794Write it in shorthand
No. 534936
File: 1585721629787.png (69.79 KB, 1880x615, noooo.PNG)
Scrolled past a thread and saw this. Imagine people like this actually posting and lurking here among us.
No. 534940
My entire right side is numb. Face to toes and only on the right side.
It’s not completely numb, but it’s sort of a…dull numbness. I can still feel things, sensation, temp etc but lessened? It’s very strange. Like several hours after going to the dentist and the novocaine or whatever is almost entirely gone but not quite. I noticed it early Monday morning and it hasn’t gone away.
I can still lift my arm, leg, walk, hold things etc, I don’t have a headache, my speech isn’t slurred, facial muscles aren’t drooping and I’m not confused or anything. No pain. I don’t know what’s going on and I’m really scared, but I’m also terrified of going to the doctor.
I’ve been having panic attacks alone in my room on and off for hours.
I know I should go see someone, like I know what to, but then I start panicking again and idk. I’m scared of finding out what this is, I’m scared of finding out what it’s not and I’m scared of the coronavirus because if I bring that shit home, I’m not sure if my parents (or my mother at least) will survive.
I wish I had someone I felt safe around to be with but I don’t.
No. 534948
>>534945I'm half asleep lmao. I just reread it and yes I agree.
With that being said, Half of your body being numb for a long period of time is indicative of something serious, So I hope they get checked out.
No. 534959
File: 1585727506632.jpg (330.7 KB, 2048x1536, 1j4w8col8ijz.jpg)
My 20th birthday just passed and I want to die. I spent the day with my mom and we made a cake. I know I should be happy that my mom is there for me and that I made it this far… but I am so alone. No friends wished me a happy birthday. My boyfriend is with his family a province away and spent that time drinking with them… i get it i guess, he hasn't seen them in a very long time.
I feel worthless. No one really cares about me. I know its silly since its just a birthday but i dont feel valued at all.
pic related was basically me today.
No. 534980
>>534959i know you don't want to hear it but it is only your 20th, you have plenty of time to have improvements in your life and its only just getting started.
i feel for you and hope you have a better day browsing on here getting a few chuckles in, happy birthday anon!
No. 535155
i haven't been able to go off for a minute, i've also been limiting my posting here and just lurking for a minute…. but fuck man
number one this guy i was dating briefly in like 2018-2019 ish just now decided that he's uwu so wonewy and is finally ready to "try it out" with me and i think i completely lack any sort of feelings that i may have once had for him as a direct result of the way he's treated me over the past few years. (ghosting and then coming back whenever he feels like)
like, how hard is it for men to just be fucking HONEST. HONEST. i'm an actual fucking adult and my feelings may be hurt for a minute, but why just avoid the subject all together or avoid the PERSON and leave them in the dark?
i mean, i know that ghosting is a reflection of the person dealing with their own bs, but still. it's like everyone fucking does it nowadays. men are fucking retarded.
and i get uwu wonewy too and sometimes i wish i had someone in my life especially because i'm getting older, but at this point i'm literally SO TRAUMATIZED from the things men have done to me in my life (things that i have been repressing, or have never shared with anyone, or that most people don't know about me and my youth) that now when anyone confesses any sort of feelings toward me i feel completely indifferent…. or i get on the defense wondering, "how are they going to turn this around and fuck me over?"
i'm having a hard time dealing with myself and other people lately.
also laughing bc a friend of a friend on twitter was going off the other day about how successful she is doing sex work and working and then got laid off from her job and is now trying to file for unemployment… like, hmmm. i thought you were making 1000$ a week off your onlyfans? and telling everyone that was your job? lol
corona has me fucked up. i feel so disenfranchised and upset with my job and then it sucks because most of my close friends work there and they're all "heehee we love the restaurant! we miss it so much! miss u managers!" and i'm like they literally treat us all like shit on any given day and now we're supposed to pretend like we're so indebted to them for laying us all off except for like 6 people who get to work still… and they're all crying about not having jobs when they most certainly do have jobs… ugh
anyway long vent
sorry anons
i'm going back and forth between being ok and being completely depressed while this shit is going on and i just don't know who to talk to
No. 535172
The pseudo-intellectuals that believe deeply in psychology (and much of psychiatry) and put all of this trust in it, take it seriously despite the fact that it's obvious guesswork and is weird creative fiction-tier, are the worst. They're usually manipulative, ignore any and all of their own flaws, seek to pathologize others based on absolutely nothing, and then use it against people. There are a few things it gets right, and mediation, relationship counselling, etc, can be helpful, but for the most part, it's complete bullshit. People who believe it religiously are horrible, horrible people. They also appear to be people who have very little actual experience with the mental health community and they condescend to those that know firsthand how much of it is clownery, like they're uneducated hicks or something. It seems like people really struggle and fight to parse out the questionable shit from the basic truths. Much of it doesn't seek to "understand" people at all, rather, it tries to blame victims, act like their issues are permanent and inborn, and shift responsibility onto victims rather than solve problems. It's rarely helpful for these reasons, on top of the fact that the process of diagnosis is a joke, and many of the symptoms of these 'maladies' are misattributed or just not real.
That's not to say the annoying STEMlords are right about psychology, either. There is a place for psychology and psychiatry, but much of it is garbage and it needs to be overhauled and taken with a grain of salt. People really seem to have a hard time understanding this, that as it stands, almost all of it means nothing and is just reaching. I can't take anyone seriously that takes psychology and psychiatry seriously as it is, it's so laughably shit.
No. 535178
I'm so pathetic.
I'm the only one who still keeps clinging onto my old high school friends, while they all moved on a long time ago.
We were so close after we graduated 5 years ago but contrary to me, they all made other friends and started relationships. Despite that I thought that maybe we can still keep in touch and sometimes hang out? But they keep rejecting me. Can it even be called friendship if you haven't seen each other for over a year and 10 out of 10 times it's me contacting them?
I already "forgave" my former best friend for not telling me that she went to study abroad and now I messaged her, thinking she might be all alone in her apartment due to the quarantine because her relationship with he parents is shitty and she replies with "My bf is with me". I didn't know you had one?
Back then you could say I somewhat lived at her place for some time, whenever she was sad I immediately drove there, we had so much fun, but I guess that doesn't mean anything. That's just one example, I experienced that so often already, me thinking I might be just as important to them as they are to me, but they don't think they need to share anything about their life with me.
At least tell me you don't like me, instead of basically ghosting me.
No. 535184
>>535172I think some of them
do seek to understand people, they just do it in a dehumanizing way. They see people as machines to be picked apart and learning about people needs the same process as understanding how a computer works. We're objects for them.
No. 535331
>>535313Lowtax just seems boring, he's an alcoholic who says stupid shit and that's about it. He doesn't really have any interesting ongoing drama so I don't know what there's to discuss. I think Something Awful General would be a much more sustainable thread than just Lowtax/Caroline because the forums are filled with cows in making, especially with the recent "NO TWANSPHOBIA!!!!!" meltdown with the reopening of FYAD and the JK Rowling thing.
https://www.reddit.com/r/stupidpol/comments/ej64zs/lets_talk_about_former_internet_sensation/Sort of related but I'm lamenting over the fact that I'm an ESLfag and can't discuss my favourite native cows without being doxxed (small circles) even though they have so much milk attached to them.
No. 535426
>>535351>>535373>Honestly, I just wish I could date a nice pretty boy who would never expect me to have sex with him ever but men are sex crazed fucking weirdos so that would never work. Just date some socially awkward IT guy for a couple of years and then coast. A lot of men stay in dead bedroom relationships especially if they don't feel like they can do better lmao.
Also, why would you want to be in a relationship with no sex? You guys sound delusional.
No. 535427
>>535316I'll keep posting in her thread as long as I feel interested because there is a lot of stuff to document
>>535317I made it, but nobody seemed interested in posting
>>535331You sound ignorant. Lowtax has been going through some divorce drama with his unemployed wife who is in the US illegally and fighting with her over custody of their daughter. He probably cheated on her with some girl 20 years younger. How is this not real milk compared to the boring shit of nitpicking people's appearances.
No. 535448
>>535440This post belongs on c.c
>>535426Some people just don’t like sex but still want a faithful loving relationship with partner who isn’t socially retarded insecure cheater? High-lib fags have reduced empathy I swear.
No. 535451
>>535448>Some people just don’t like sex but still want a faithful loving relationship with partner who isn’t socially retarded insecure cheater? High-lib fags have reduced empathy I swear.So you're "asexual"? Why not just call yourself instead of lesbian. And I never claimed that people wanted sex multiple times a day. How many lesbians claim they don't want sex at all?
>>535439Why did he leave you?
No. 535520
>>535509Its in a separate room but might be worth a try!
>>535516Oh I know. I do fart in front of him, but I mean Id like to be able to use the toilet without having to stealth my farts. And with how thin our walls are, you can hear everything on the phone/mic.
No. 535694
File: 1585873029578.png (42.4 KB, 500x322, 1581035677251.png)
i wish twenty one pilots' fans weren't such uwu mogai identity blue hair shaved sides uwu pansexual mentally ill he/him uwu kids because it ruins their image sooooooooo much and they're actually such a good band. i've been listening to them for 7 years now and their songs never disappointed me lol i hate those "clikkie" shits
No. 535727
File: 1585880493795.jpg (13.65 KB, 250x195, dhaskjajkjkkahs.jpg)
>be a dental assistant
>be trapped in florida because the hygiene school i want to go is there
>last year i wasn't accepted due to a pre-req class that didn't transfer over from my previous school
>this year i can't take the HESI A2 due to corona virus shutting everything down
>i have to wait until next spring to apply again
fuck it, i'm not superstitious but i think this is a sign. i'm not staying in this shitty state for another 3+ years for this school, when things go back to normal i'm returning to civilized society and i'll just have to deal with being an assistant indefinitely