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File: 1541927549296.jpg (43.87 KB, 400x400, tumblr_pclby0aKeS1ur5vj7o1_400…)

No. 323357

Last thread: >>312676

Need to talk?

No. 323361

I just found out a guy I like already has a girlfriend, I give up, time for me to stay a kissless virgin for the rest of my life.

No. 323370

Please don't give up! There are other guys out there, and his current relationship might not last forever!

No. 323372

File: 1541931664640.jpg (240.94 KB, 500x500, 1496655446308.jpg)

I'm in the same boat anon, messed up part is I didn't give up and we ended up doing lewd things together, what's even more messed up is I don't feel a shred of guilt about it and will probably do it again, there's just something so lewd and taboo about stealing someone

No. 323373

I hope somebody breaks your heart in the future.

No. 323376

Stop watching Disney movies and start looking outside, you think women like kim k made it big chasing their one true love? grow up sis

No. 323384

I doubt he's even remotely interested in me and he's way out of my league. Same with his gf actually.

>what's even more messed up is I don't feel a shred of guilt about it

I'm not even considering doing anything like that and I already feel guilty about it, so that's definitely not going to happen

No. 323389

File: 1541934239380.jpeg (13.35 KB, 113x124, BDFD36E3-1911-458C-9F73-74065A…)

during a fight my sister, who’s had body image issues for a long time, she called me fat and pulled at my belly and accused me of sucking in my fat, etc., typical ana-chan projection because i like to think i’m not the miserable fatty-chan she thinks i am.

i have no idea but this stuck with me and now i’ve been purging almost every meal for over a month because i can’t get the image of her grabbing my belly and screaming about how horrible i look and pulling up her shirt to show her slightly more flat stomach.

i have been lying to my therapist and counselors fronting like i’m okay and normal and progressing when i’m jamming a toothbrush down my throat 4+ times a day to yak up whatever’s left in me. typical wannarexic shit, ya know?

and i’m terrified to go get my teeth cleaned now because i’m afraid a dental hygenist might notice my throat or something. i want to believe i am getting better and progressing but i always seem to find a way to ruin it for myself lololol i hate myself so much.

No. 323393

ah yes because thinking that breaking up a relationship is bad is akin to rose-coloured disney idealism. also I don't see what your principles about relationships have to do with personal success lol.

No. 323394

No but it's akin to thinking every interaction with a male has to result in love or a relationship and that wanting sex is a big no no.
My principle is that being love obsessed is stupid and that there's more things to consider in a relationship

No. 323396

Being love obsessed is stupid, but the
>steal your man
Meme is JUST as stupid. Nobody owns anyone. Let things happen when they happen. There is no "prize" in letting someone stick their dick in you. Men are less loyal than dogs, so "stealing" is shamefully easy…both of you can chill on the whole thing. You can't say loyalty doesn't matter and then imply you get rich from shagging dudes. For 99.99999% of us that is not the case

Tl;dr don't give the men what they want by pretending they are a valuable prize, and giving them free sex without commitment/belittling commitment itself. One of you "Disney" anon is romantic, the other thinks there is financial gain in men, neither of those things is true. Just enjoy your life and don't worry about men.

No. 323398


Anon, take it from someone who knows: purging will not give you the results you want.

The constant vomiting will damage your teeth. If you want a snapshot of the future, google "bulimia teeth" and take a look. I'm not even going to attach the images because it's that fucking disgusting.

It will give you open sores all over your mouth and gums, as you're probably already realizing.

It will give you this weird chipmunk cheeks. No matter how thin you get, your face will still look fat because your cheeks will be swollen. This is one of the reasons bulimic women still believe they're fat even when they're skelly.

Stop purging. If you want to lose weight then focus on a proper diet and exercise. That's the only way to get thin without a host of gross side effects.

Also your sister is a bitch.

No. 323400

I humiliate myself everyday at my new job and I don't know how much more I can take. I fight back tears and sit there with a retarded look on my face. I feel like I'm cracking, I tried, but Now its Sunday and I'm getting drunk cos I'm so anxious and can't stop thinking about how disgusting and awful i'am when I have to wake up at 6:00am to go that place of work.

Last Friday a guy in my group sat next to me at my desk and started talking to me and I just looked at him in silence then turned back to my computer cos I didn't know how to reply. He got up and left. I want to die. How do I stop being so socially retarded, especially around men? I know they're mocking me in their mind so I get so scared.

No. 323405

Bitches like you are why a lot of people have trust issues. I do hope you end up alone forever.

No. 323406

>>Lying to your therapist
Why do people do this? Tell them the truth anon their job is to help you! They are not going to judge you or think any less of you. They are /literally/ payed to help you, so let them do their job please.

No. 323424

I've experienced this, too, but I don't feel good or smug about it, I just see it as an inevitable, sad fact of life. I know in my heart the girl didn't deserve it, she was just unfortunate that he and I felt so drawn to each other. It happens. Sometimes, two people connect, and that's it. It's over for everything else. The spark can't be contained.
A lot of people blame the other woman for "stealing the man" and wrecking things, but it takes two. It doesn't mean you're some hot Stacy, or a master manipulator, if a guy ditches his girl for you. It just means he's unhappy. It can happen to you when you think you're safe, too.

No. 323435

Genuine question for you and other anon, how to prevent this from happening?
My plans include:
>financially supporting him
>giving him as much attention as I can when not working or partaking in my hobbies
>worshiping his existence (give him gifts, depict him in artwork, writing poetry, etc.)
>having sex as much as possible (not a sacrifice don't worry lol)
Would these be good enough or are all men cheaters, as other anons have said?

Preventing him from leaving the house or permanently scarring him seems abusive and I wouldn't want to do that.
Well…I would if he agreed, but it would be morally wrong otherwise.

No. 323438

I think anon is an ass for hooking up with a guy knowing he's taken, but he's still the one who chose to cheat? That's on him. You can't "steal" someone who doesn't want to be stolen.

No. 323439

File: 1541955940435.jpg (44.11 KB, 500x667, 939293.jpg)

I'm this anon >>323372 and to tell you the truth I can't really say what makes men stay or what makes them cheat all I know is that most will cheat if the opportunity arises and they click with the person that's tempting them, nothing can be done about that, you just need to find someone who loves you enough that they'll stick with you through thick and thin and you make sure that you don't take that person for granted.

My intentions weren't to make the guy cheat but it kind of just happened

No. 323440

I don't know how you or any woman that does that can be with a guy that did that to a girl because it's highly likely that he will do that to you too and then you'll have a different opinion of this. Cheaters will always cheat.

I was in a similar position but the moment he proposed to dump his long term gf over me, all my respect for him went down the drain.

I know I will sound like an incel but I sometimes wish people took a stronger commitment with relationships. I feel most of it is because guys date whoever they can until they find a better catch to upgrade.

No. 323442

But the blame isn't solely on guys. Women that are accomplices in cheating should be ashamed. Sometimes I wish there was a database where you could register cheaters. I wish we could go back to shaming such people but in these progressive times and sexual liberation, it's nigh impossible for any repercussions, and there should be.
Imagine wasting a long time with someone who can't wait to ditch you for someone better despite you doing best to please them and that goes for both genders.

No. 323447

Eh, you could pamper him as much as you want and it still could happen. In fact, it could be smothering and actually push him towards other girls.
There's nothing you can do short of crossing your fingers or basically push toward a really toxic relationship (fully supporting him -if done so he won't see other girls-, could be construed as that )

No. 323448


thank you for the reply anon ; feels good to have somebody listen and not fake nicey-nice.

she does this a lot with remarks here and there about how teeny/smol uwu and petite she is compared to me; how she always wants to wear the xxs and 0 pants and the stores NEVER carry her size haha she’s small tell her she’s thin

anyways i try to avoid her moreso and keep to myself and it’s kind of helped, but i just can’t stop thinking about it. i also feel ashamed because it’s so vain and i should be more mature etc etc. and she WANTS the reaction from me.

No. 323449


CAN CONFIRM THIS; I was the “other woman” turned girlfriend, and was cheated on after a month.

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

No. 323451

Thats just going to make him cheat more. Guys need a strong, confindent girlfriend to keep them in check. Worshipping them makes them think they deserve to cheat.

No. 323454

>Sometimes, two people connect, and that's it. It's over for everything else. The spark can't be contained.

Looking forward to your bf ~not being able to contain spark~ with some new hoe and everything being over for your relationship kek

No. 323457

>if you love him he'll hate you
FUCK, why are men so complicated? Why do I have to play mind games with them?
They complain about women not being simple and straightforward, but then fuck us over when we are.
I wanted to do these things regardless of cheating prevention, but I guess I'm not allowed. Do you have to mix in insults and beratings in with the romance? How do you communicate with these creatures?

As an aside I'm interested in unconventional men, manlets if you will. Would that help deter other women generally from approaching them? 5'4" and below is what I'm talking about.

No. 323458

lmao what the fuck is this thread?? you can't prevent a man (or woman) from cheating, if they're a shitty person they will cheat no matter how much sex/affection/worship you give them. cheaters are bad people from the start. the only instance a good person might be "driven" to cheat is if they are being severely abused by their current partner.

be mindful of the people you date, their intentions and their relationship history. the only time I have been cheated on was when I was stupid enough to get with a complete fuckboy manlet who was an ex fatty so his ego was huge. he also bragged about having 65 sexual partners in the past. the red flags are pretty obvious if you're not blinded by infatuation.

do not smother your partners because you are insecure and paranoid. they will just dump you lol.

No. 323459

>But the blame isn't solely on guys
It is.
>women that are accomplices need to be ashamed too
This is so silly. Nobody else is responsible for someone's cheating boyfriend or husband. Sometimes the other women don't even know or aren't sure.
Blame's rightful place is solely on the shoulders of the person breaking the trust of the person whom they chose to swear loyalty and vows to.

And believe you me, if it were a woman doing the cheating, nobody would be looking at the man with whom she cheated and be pointing fingers at his supposed part in the blame. Nobody buys reductive blaming when a woman does something shitty, and it shouldn't be bought when a man does it either.

Agreed. I've known men who've cheated and I've never considered them viable partners for that reason.
It's an entitlement and responsibility problem, and those problems rarely resolve in time because they're personality flaws.

Ntayrt, but I think men with self-esteem issues would be more likely to consider cheating as a form of validation. As long as they're confident manlets maybe.

Imo anon, if you give a man too much off the bat, he'll take you for granted. Then if he winds up cheating on top of that, you'll end up feeling taken advantage of for being such a great support and romantic partner to someone who evidently didn't deserve it. I can't say what will or will not happen, but don't go setting yourself up for too much heartbreak.

Just know that if infidelity happens, it happens because of the inner bullshit of the cheater. It has nothing to do with what you did/didn't do. A caring and responsible person either talks about the problems openly, or ends the relationship before cheating occurs.

No. 323465

OT, but holy shit that pic. I used to fucking love Neopets. Grey pets are so cute with their wittle sad eyes and stuff. :3

No. 323466

>Just know that if infidelity happens, it happens because of the inner bullshit of the cheater. It has nothing to do with what you did/didn't do. A caring and responsible person either talks about the problems openly, or ends the relationship before cheating occurs.

You sound like a child or someone who believes they could do no wrong in a relationship, not every instance of cheating is the cheater being a bad person, a lot of time they're in an abusive relationship and looking for someone to save them

No. 323467

We're not talking about abused people.
What an oddly specific strawman, did you cheat in an abusive relationship or something? Yeah, I don't think people have sympathy for abusers but that's clearly not what we're talking about here honey child.

No. 323468

You sound bitter, did he fuck someone else honey child?

No. 323469

Is it official Neopets art?
Weird how there's red party cups on the floor and the room is in disarray, almost like a metaphor for depressed drunkards.

No. 323470

Lmao, god damn you're on the attack aren't you?
Never been cheated on, no. Sorry.

No. 323473

If you're cheating in an abusive relationship, that seems risky considering you're likely to receive more abuse if the abuser found out you cheated on him.
Sounds dumb all around, like a great way to be murdered.

No. 323482

I do think both parties are at fault. If someone helps a robber without being forced or at a gunpoint, they're guilty too, no? And a person of any sex can be the one betraying the trust so it doesn't alleviate the guilt from women one way or the other.

I do agree that women get a way harsher treatment for cheating.

When people think of cheating they definitely don't think of someone being in an abusive relationship. That's really whataboutism. Most cheaters usually have a loving partner that doesn't suspect anything or pretends not to.

No. 323485

I don't really see cheating and robbery as being the same situations, but I do agree with you on the other points.

No. 323489

Have bulimia teeth,don’t do it.
I need dentures in my late 20s, anon. Stop purging yesterday if you can.

They don’t care. If they’re defending being ‘the other woman’ it’s more to do with them hating other women and behaving as badly as the men they blame. Just grotty people all round.

No. 323490

Duh of course you were. I don't see why you homeworkers are so surprised the person you cheated with turned around and cheated on you lol.

No. 323492

“This guy cheated on his wife to be with me, so clearly he’s really loyal and good at commitment. This relationship will work out fine”

There’s a reason homewreckers are usually portrayed as bimbos. They’re all dumb.

No. 323494

Dear ESL people,
"Advices" is not a word.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk

No. 323497

Good for you, you deserved it.

Women who think that way are dumb as bricks. Bonus points if the husband they cheated on had an older wife they 'left' for the mistress.

No. 323506

I don't think it's as black and white as "if he dumped his SO for you he's gonna do the same to you". There's countless variables that come into play in situations like that. Sometimes people's relationships are just not working and they realize someone else is way better for them. That doesn't mean someone is a cheating piece of shit who can't be trusted.

I wholeheartedly agree with the anon who said if you're significantly younger than his wife that should be a massive red flag, though.

And if he was happy in the relationship before you came along, that's also shitty and an indicator he's just not a committed individual.

No. 323508

>This much salt and shitflinging
It's honestly not that deep, it's just sex.
the person doesn't even have to be in an abusive relationship, sometimes you just want to sleep with someone because they're attractive

No. 323512

What are you talking about "there's no repercussions"??? The repercussion is you get dumped or lose the trust of your SO for a long ass time if you're lucky enough for them to stay with you. Plus, most people judge the shit out of cheaters. You sound crazy talking about "a database" and repercussions past getting your ass dumped.

No. 323522

Honestly, I hate it when people dump their long term SO who they have a great relationship with otherwise over cheating then complain about how much they miss them constantly, as if they had no choice but to break up. Couples go through shit, they hurt each other. It's part of reality. Commitment goes both ways, you should be sticking by your partner even when they tremendously fuck up. If you can't handle your SO making a mistake, then fine, but don't fucking cry about it for months as if you didn't have the option to forgive them and move on.

Obviously, there's a line where you can't blame someone for feeling like they don't have a choice, like if you find out your husband has had a decade long affair and a secret love child or if they cheat on you constantly. But there's a world of difference between extreme shit like that and him confessing to fucking his friend a couple times or something.

People cheat, it happens. Being vocal about your zero tolerance policy toward it doesn't mean you're going to end up with a more loyal partner. It just means your SO is going to work extra hard to keep it secret from you.

No. 323530

i agree that it really is a measure of dedication to stay and work through it, but barring like, feeling hated and rejected by your partner and retaliating out of spite or doing it just to feel wanted, or being on crack, i can't see forgiving my partner for cheating and moving on. cheating is dangerous and for people that aren't so impulsive and oversexed, they can't imagine having sex with friends or whatever. and cheating out of genuine desire means you're obviously checking out of the relationship anyways, and at the point, you may as well just have some kind of companionship that's basically downgraded to friendship, which is fine and possible. if i cheated because i really wanted another guy (which i can't imagine), i wouldnt expect my partner to stay. for other reasons, like using impulsive sex that you don't even want to have as a way to self-harm when feeling rejected or something, i can understand, however.

there's nothing wrong with drawing the line at cheating tho.

No. 323533

You're chastising people for being upset that their partner betrayed their trust? For real?
They're mourning the loss of the person they thought they knew. Clearly the fix isn't just to get back together lmao.
You seem to not realize that people can have mixed feelings about a situation and a person. And yeah, some people are whinier than others. So just don't be friends with those people if it annoys you.

And fucking your friend when you're in a committed relationship isn't a little mistake, just like hitting your partner isn't a little mistake. It's a conscious decision that one knows can/will hurt their s/o.

I'm glad your standards are such that you're fine with someone lying to you and possibly bringing an STD home, but some people just are not. So like I said, don't befriend those people and you won't have to put up with it.

No. 323536

File: 1541977182876.jpeg (188.91 KB, 640x783, come on.jpeg)

Alright ladies, if you want the guy who is least likely to cheat he's a young, Hispanic, not higher educated, conservative guy raised with two parents who attends church at least a few times a year.

Thank me later.

No. 323545

You trying to be Kim K anon? kek

No. 323546

Yeah they should totally stay with someone they can no longer trust instead of having some self respect and accepting some scumbag fucking whoever they want. Jfc anon what is wrong with you?
Cheating is such a common deal breaker it’s weird to be okay with it.

No. 323548

nice bait

No. 323549

I honestly do not know if this goes to this thread but here we go. Recently a girl followed me on instagram, I went to her profile and i see that she has gross sexualized photos of her that look like softcore pornography, but the bad thing about it is that she said that she was 12 and needs a "bigger man". I was shocked, very scared and I ended up blocking her because I thought that she maybe is a victim of human trafficking, but I do not know what to think…

No. 323563

File: 1541979934539.gif (1.19 MB, 130x130, v7Yb4Hc.gif)

I'm the type that never sugarcoat words and say the truth or at least my honest opinion when asked and being careful to not come off as an ass because I feel rly bad with lying, sugarcoating, faking a smile and it also feels like a thing people who aren't trustworthy do I have seen so many times people ass-kissing and pretending to be nice or supportive with others to later destroy them behind the scenes, some people I know fo that and it makes me sick and cringe but I think it makes people and friends stay away from me…

No. 323565

Lmao I've been with my bf for 10 years and I would dump him in a heartbeat if he cheated on me.

Sleeping with someone behind your partners back is disgusting in so many ways.

No. 323566

Actually, if you look it up you'll see that most marriages continue after an affair is known. It's not about self-respect, it's about how devoted you are to your marriage. Crazy as it sound most married people don't want to drop the person they want to spend the rest of their life with over minor indiscretions.

Where do I say they're wrong for being upset? What I find ridiculous is dumping them then freaking out over the breakup as if it was forced upon you and you don't have the option to continue. If you're happy in a relationship otherwise, why throw it away?

Not to mention, like I said- if a guy knows you'll dump him for cheating all that means is you're less likely to find out about it. The next guy will just make sure to never admit it.

No. 323567

Yeah but are you an asshole about it, like, sorry that’s just how I am or do you keep it to yourself unless it’s productive?

Everyone avoids the people who are blunt and critical just for the sake of it.

No. 323568

Because it’s not a happy or healthy relationship worth saving if one person cheats. What’s so hard to grasp about that?

You sound like you’re grasping to justify your own cheating lol. You feeling bad?

No. 323571

Good for you. I'm sure you would have such an easy time replacing that kind of connection with someone who had absolutely no chance of cheating on you too.

No. 323576

>>323567 Don't get me wrong, I dislike people who are blunt/harsh just for the sake of it and most of the times I keep it to myself and I never use the "that's how I am and deal with it", it's only when needed because I really dislike faking being nice and lying

I had some people do this "it's the harsh truth!!1!11" with me and then have a meltdown after not being told what they wanted to lol

No. 323580

Or maybe I just take the concept of marriage very seriously and don't live in a fantasy world where you can expect your spouse to be 100% perfect your entire lifetime together? Maybe the idea of leaving the man I'm madly in love with and committed my entire life to over something I would get over within a couple years is just really hard to make sense of?

Also, plenty of people who've had indiscretions still have happy and healthy relationships after they get past it. Not sure why you're so insistent it's completely impossible.

Also, in regard to your baseless speculation- I've never been dumped for cheating once in my entire life, so no, this isn't a stance out of bitterness or guilt. Nice try. Though, I can't blame you for speculating, since I myself assumed maybe you left someone you subconsciously wish you hadn't but can't deal with the idea that you might have made a mistake.

No. 323581

Ahahaha what kind of people do you live around that you think cheating is inevitable?
Are you just a serial cheater who thinks because you can’t do monogamy nobody can?
Do you think every single man alive is an animal incapable of basic self control?
That’s a fucking sad way to be anon.

No. 323582

Why do you think cheating should be minor?
Breaking a marriage vow seems like perfectly good reason to leave the spouse. They’ve already chosen to throw the marriage away long before the one cheated on left.

Just because you’re okay with a partner fucking anyone they can and then coming home to you with whatever diseases on their junk doesn’t mean anyone else should be okay with it. Some of us respect ourselves more than that.

No. 323583

>If you're happy in a relationship otherwise, why throw it away?
I was correct, you truly cannot conceive of someone having complex feelings about a person/situation. It's black and white.

Most likely she's baiting. She should've put it in the unpopular opinion thread, it's a bit out of place here to say "cheating is fine, suck it up."

No. 323585

>this level of reaching
It may not be inevitable, but an extremely large portion of men do it so it's pretty laughable when girls think they'll just move on to a more loyal man as if that's definitive. Also, the context discussed was a man cheating once in the span of a ten year relationship, who the fuck said anything about serial cheating or inability to do monogamy? The fact you guys conflate the two so much makes it even harder for me to feel sympathy for types with the "zero tolerance" policy.

No. 323586

Oh my god nobody cares how much you love cheating get over it. You’re not convincing anyone to stay in shitty relationships despite your efforts.

No. 323588

This, she's just making us more upset about it if anything.

80% of men haven't cheated, I should add. That's the majority.

No. 323589

lol apparently it is official. They even had a caption contest for it. Weird.


No. 323591

I'm finally realizing and coming to terms with the fact that I am no longer a young adult, just an adult. I'm back in college to finish my degree, and I had no idea what a jewel was (I guess they're actually spelled JUUL) and why you smoked it. I'm not really looking for close friends but I'd at least like someone to talk to between classes and not eat lunch alone, but I'm unarguably a millennial/gen y surrounded by gen z people and can't relate. I'm an old fucking college student and its starting to kind of suck.

No. 323592

It’s insulting that trolls are this dumb.

>I take marriage more seriously that you who dislike cheaters!

>breaking a wedding vow and fidelity is no biggie.

Like at least put in some effort and have a single point to push instead of being inconsistently contrarian, defending something retarded.

No. 323595

>points I disagree with must be bait
>vents I disagree with should be in the unpopular opinion thread
>saying it's dumb to act like you're mandated to leave your husband over cheating under any circumstance = saying cheating is completely fine

When the fuck did I ever try to convince people to stay if someone cheats or condone it let alone "love it"? I literally just said don't fucking whine constantly to me about how much you miss them for months as if breaking up was mandatory. And if you don't care, then don't reply?

I am done, though. Between the baseless assumptions and how intensely you guys are putting words in my mouth ignoring any clarification, there's really no point in continuing. Enjoy your ~self-respect~ and false sense of assurance you're less likely to get an STD than people like me as if you're magically any less susceptible to be cheated on just because your partner knows you'll dump them.

No. 323596

NTA and not that I agree with them, but it's objectively taking your vows less seriously to get divorced than cheat.

No. 323597

Go whine somewhere where someone will care. You’re boring and your points are stupid and contradictory.

You sound as smart as an incel.

No. 323598

The vows have been broken before the divorce. The cheater threw the marriage away. There’s nothing to preserve.

No. 323601

Wedding vows emphasize sticking together through anything more than anything else. They also rarely say anything referencing infidelity.

Not that I'm criticizing anyone for leaving a cheater, I'm just saying that technically divorce is a greater breach of vows than cheating.

No. 323603

But isn't one of the top things incels shit on women for cheating? Like, they say it's inevitable that women will cheat on you constantly.

No. 323604

Clearly you guys care a lot since you've been replying to every post including the "I'm done, bye" one.

No. 323609

Ugggghhhhhhhhh insistent people with shitty pints who can’t shut up are the worst. It’s like there’s a broken executive function where they can’t accept that people think their point is retarded. They never go away until you humour them and pretend they have a valid point.

No. 323611

“Forsaking all others” is literally one of the first parts. Wedding vows don’t make room for infidelity no matter how much you reach.

No. 323614

At the very least, as an older adult, you probably aren’t treating college as an adult daycare center like a lot of younger students do. I don’t know your major or interests but maybe you can find students who are more serious about their academics.

No. 323616

I'm hoping as I progress further into my degree I'll run into similar minded students who want to actually finish their degrees and not jokesters wanting to quit and sell molly lolz #cashmoney #wokeasfuck

No. 323624

Ugh I work at an Eikaiwa and I was at work yesterday and one of my coworkers who is actually a lesbian totally butted into a conversation one of my other coworkers was having with his customers because he referred to a Mtf as “he” and said something about how the Mtf looked very feminine and it was difficult to tell that it was actually a man’s body, or something along those lines. She butted in and kept correcting him to say “she” and said shit like “her body ISN’T a man’s body, that’s why it doesn’t look that way, she’s a woman ” then started telling some story nobody cares about or asked for about Ftm and mtf friends and their Hormones and surgeries.

Sad thing is this coworker is actually a pretty cool person usually but she got sucked too deeply into sjw ideology I guess.

Shes also getting trained to be a supervisor, but I have no idea why. She’s always preaching to the customers and she talks wayyyy too much and too fast even with beginners so half the time they can’t understand her, and they usually don’t care about whatever social justice issue she’s preaching about. She doesn’t make sure everybody is involved in the conversation, us teachers are only supposed to talk like 20% of the time but she talks like 90% of the time. And she doesn’t greet/say goodbye to the customers very well or check the orders or serve water sufficiently either. I’m always the one finding mistakes with the orders or refilling drinks or whatever.

No. 323626

Oh god, Japan is really not the place to bitch about sjw shit. she should leave. How is working at an eikawa anyway? lol

No. 323627

Yikes. Hoping Japan isn't poisoned yet with sjw shit. I didn't even know they had trannies there tbh.

>Shes also getting trained to be a supervisor, but I have no idea why.

People who end up as supervisors often times never deserve it or are even up to par for the job. This seems to be a running trend.

No. 323639

First off i miss neopets

Some mutuals unfollowed me on tumblr dot hell for being edgy on main and normally i'd not give a fuck but i'm on PMS so that made me tear up a bit

No. 323649

It’s not bad usually. It’s a really casual, laid back place and it’s super easy, we can talk about whatever we want. The customers range from beginner to advanced. I can pick my days off unless we’re super short staffed, but the pay is crap of course. The worst part is that I’m actually an introvert so sometimes I’m just not in the mindset to talk to people, and some customers are pretty degenerate. Some openly tell me they’d dump their Japanese girlfriend/boyfriend for a foreigner, or cheat. Some try to ask me or my coworkers out. One guy apparently thinks I’m annoying and hate Japan because I talked about getting groped, the audacity of me right!? This same guy told me he spends hours pretending to work just to get overtime, and that we should put elderly people into coffin-sized capsules hooked up to tubes to keep them alive, instead of care facilities or letting them live in their homes. Kek. Also some people are waaaaayyyyy too shy or quiet. I don’t know why they come when they don’t want to talk and if I try to talk about something or ask them a question they just respond with one word answers.

But yeah overall everybody is good, fun to talk to. Really depends on the shift and which customers you have.

No. 323659

I’m black and When I watch movies or tv shows I notice most of the guys are full black and all the “black” girls are quadroons or mixed. I wonder is this the ideal world for people that they could create if they had a choice?a world where black dudes exist but all black women are light skin and mixed. Sometimes it feels like the media is slowly trying to phase us out and replace us with mixed women and soon it will be like we don’t even exist but it’s not fair because black men aren’t being replaced. Maybe I’m just a paranoid conspiracy theorist.

No. 323662

It is highly unlikely that Japan will ever cave to the trans agenda. They will never be anything past fetishism objects.

No. 323664


No. 323665

Colorism regarding women has been a thing in entertainment since movies began. Lena Horne vs. Sidney Poitier; both were romantic leads. Now it's Rosario Dawson and Idris Elba. It's pretty shit.

No. 323666

I have posted here before but I still feel like venting about this.My boyfriend broke up with me because I had a mental break down and sliced my body up in his bathtub. I was in the mental hospital for two weeks after that and I got diagnosed with recurrent depressive disorder and borderline personality disorder even though I believe I'm too young to have a personality disorder since I'm only 19.

I was in a relationship with this guy for one month and I fell for him for some reason, maybe because I don't have anything better going on in my life and I'm lonely and I continuously feel like an utter failure. He was really open and sweet to me so for the first time in my life I tried approaching someone and fully opening myself to feel things and be vulnerable, I have been in relationships before but I never really tried opening up completely.

He studies in another city that's on the other far end of the country and 3 weeks ago I managed to gain enough courage to go to his place.
We had a lot of fun for the first 2 days but after that I became really emotional since I realized I was starting to develop feelings for him and I also got hit by other past feelings I didn't feel because I was emotionally numb.

Something really dumb happened and I overreacted to it and for some fucking reason my brain still thinks it's a good idea to be mad about that and I realize it's a mistake on both ends but mostly on mine since I literally put him through hell. We were both in a Facebook meme group created by him with around 80 people he probably knew personally, he's been having that group for a long time and I was a new member so to say. I had observed he's been talking privately with a girl that was a member of that group and the thought itself didn't bother me at all. One day while he was having classes that girl posted a meme of a handicapped woman and jokingly with no bad intention I said "is that u?" it's a meme group, I thought that wouldn't be offensive or anything. He then came back from college and after he arrived he told me that girl got really offended and that she might beat me up since she's at the same college as me. I felt weird because he told me that since he was really protective and passive-aggressive towards people that would somehow threaten my well being and it seemed like she got a pass. Then she posts a picture of a girl doing drugs and she tags me while repeating what I initially asked her "is that u?". I freeze and immediately feel a tremendous wave of negative feelings as I wonder how does she know I do drugs as I never talked to her personally nor do I have a lot of friends nor am I popular nor do I have information regarding that aspect on my Facebook profile. I ask my boyfriend if he told her I do drugs and he tells me it's just a coincidence she posted that pic. I don't believe in such coincidences so I end up looking at his phone while he was showering and I scrolled through their private chat until I reached a point where she says
>your girlfriend made fun of me in the meme group I'll send the druggies to fuck her up
And he answers with
>it's not my girlfriend
I froze up again and I couldn't speak and I was feeling really intense feelings I felt betrayed and mocked and I couldn't think clearly. I managed e to talk with him and told him I looked at his phone and he told me he doesn't like announcing relationships that are less than 3 months old which makes perfect sense but I still felt like shit. The next day I ended up cutting in his bathtub and he got really scared and broke up with me.
>that girl was his ex btw

Now I'm medicated and will start therapy soon. I still talk with him and care about him and I miss him most of the time. I feel undesirable and I feel like I'll never find someone that will truly love me with the issues that I have even if I'm trying to make a better version of myself everyday.

No. 323667

Stop wasting your time on this guy. Focus on fixing your mental health. You’re only 19.

No. 323671

First of all, nice satanic trips

Second of all, you're lucky to be diagnosed at a young age. Lots of people aren't diagnosed until much older. Focus on your mental health. You can find another guy, there's 3.5 billion of them, it's your warped mental state that's making you think you can't find another (no offense). But focus on your mental health first and stop talking to this guy.

No. 323672

Can you maybe report her account to instagram or the crimestoppers website or something similar? Sorry I am not too informed about places where you can send suspicious www accounts.

No. 323673

You sound bpd as fuck ngl, but that dudes a dick and you're better off without him. Like the other anon said getting dx young is a blessing and gives you a lot of time to devote to therapy instead of ruining your 20s without a diagnosis or knowing what's wrong with you.

Forget about the meme loser guy and focus on yourself. Good luck anon.

No. 323678

>I feel undesirable and I feel like I'll never find someone that will truly love me with the issues that I have
You are 19. You're barely an adult, you have ages before any guy needs to 'truly love' you. And, no offense, but a < 3 month unofficial relationship that ended over some immature, high school tier drama says very little about how your romantic life is going to pan out. In 5 years you could be a totally different person, I know I was by 25.

Keep up the therapy and medication but stop fixating on that guy. He's a liar who wouldn't admit to dating you to his ex and that makes him someone not worth clinging to.

No. 323680

I’m sad I can’t sustain being fuck-you skinny without dying because being average is painfully boring and feels hideous.

No. 323691

I am having an affair with someone I work with. I never thought I would be in this position. He’s married.

No. 323694

I relate anon. Idk what to do

No. 323695

Love yourself anon.

No. 323696

I do it’s so hard!!!!!!!!!!!

No. 323698

Lol what do you mean you don’t know what to do?
You stop fucking the married man and date an appropriate person. He’s not going to leave his wife to marry you and live happily ever after. He’s a cheating prick.
Walk away and don’t do something so gross again..duh.

No. 323699

Prolly keep eating and remember that being that skinny was shitty and made everyone around you irl sad or scared. It’s what I do.

I miss not being spooky to look at but I don’t miss going blind spontaneously either.

No. 323701

I know you have revenge fantasies about cheaters and everything (which isn't bad, just naive), but I said that here
>It can happen to you when you think you're safe, too.
I'm not going to be surprised or angry if that happens. It's rare for love to last forever. In the end, life is better if you treat relationships like dessert, not the main course.

No. 323703

I know it can happen to me, I'm just jaded enough at this point to not really care. If he told me "There's someone else, I'm ditching you for her", I'd probably just say "Oh, alright. It was fun, bye". What kind of dummy would be an accomplice in cheating, and then get buttblasted if it happens to them with that same person? Like I said, it doesn't mean you're an irresistible Stacy if you get cheated with, it just means he's unhappy. Or just not loyal. It happens, no one is safe.

No. 323704

> Sometimes, two people connect, and that's it. It's over for everything else. The spark can't be contained.
If I start to have a crush or feel weird feelings for someone that's more than innocent, I distance myself from them to prevent myself from cheating, as should anyone else in a relationship.

No. 323705

Not everyone does that, especially if they're dissatisfied with their relationship, but feel too trapped to say anything. It's either that, or they're just impulsive. In cases like the latter, it's kind of a blessing if the person wanders off while you're young, heal-able and can find someone new with relative ease.
It'd be fucking horrible to be married, 47 with four kids, and then find out your spouse is cheating.

No. 323706

You sound like a sociopath incapable of love if that would be your reaction to somebody cheating on you. Normal people feel emotions for other people, especially people they’ve lived with for years, trusted, are intimate with, possibly even have a family, kids with

No. 323707

If it helps your recovery, no guy thinks that kind of skinny is anymore attractive than just normal skinny (within healthy bmi range). Its mostly a competition between women and a stupid one, I don't know if you're the anon with the sister but that's a great example of how shitty and stupid some women can be. You look fine, you're probably attractive. Keep eating.

No. 323708

First, you sound like you are glorifying cheating with the ~uwu sparks just fly, can't do anything~ narrative which is cringy and gross as fuck. I've last heard the bullshit when watching the Bold and the Beautiful with my grandma years ago kek. It's hard not to wish it to bite you in the ass when reading such crap.
If you knew he was in a relationship, you could have left him alone till he sorted it out. And yes, he is much more guilty than you (like 60% vs 40%% - just end the fucking relationship instead of pretending to still care and damaging the future ex even more), but it still does not make it right. I can't imagine knowing person I am interested in has a significant other and deciding to make a move on them (or kissing them, having sex or whatever). That's so dishonest and disgusting I could not look at myself in the mirror.
If you were unaware, that's a different situation, but does not seem so from your post and how little you give a fuck about the other woman.

And before you assume, I was not cheated on, but I find it vile and immoral in every way. Wonder if people like you would still be down with fucking someone else's SO if they had to personally deliver the news. 'Hi, just letting you know your bf does not love you anymore and I've been fucking him for weeks, please understand that this is just what happens when people truly connect, we could do nothing about it'.

No. 323710

Except it's not just "somebody", it's somebody I know my history with. The feelings are obviously there, but you have to be a retard to ignore the writing on the wall. If something is highly likely, you have to mentally prepare yourself for it.

No. 323711

I'm married and the thought of my husband cheating (highly unlikely) would absolutely destroy me. You are hurting another person and teaching this person that this behavior of cheating is ok and rewarding that. My dad cheated a lot and each woman he cheated with believed themselves to be special, please understand you're not.

No. 323713

I’m married and my anorexia had zero to do with looking good for men but thanks I guess.

No. 323714

I'm not defending it or trying to romanticize shit. It is not good, but it still happens. Life is full of bad, sad choices and unfortunate things happening. Sometimes, the person you love decides they love someone else. You can't do anything to stop them if their minds and hearts are set, and shaming that behavior doesn't make it nonexistent, it only lends it secrecy and a "taboo" factor. It's better to just save yourself, dip out and maybe find someone else too.
There's no point in trying to morally proselytize about this. Whether or not it disgusts you, it will continue to happen.

No. 323715

It will happen but it does not mean that cheaters deserve to be absolved from the responsibility. Cheating is not a random thing that happens, it's a decision made by the cheater (and often also the person he's cheating with). So be prepared for people like you and your bf being considered scum whether you like it or not.

No. 323718

I'm not saying they deserve to be absolved, either. I'm just saying it happens, and all that can be done to minimize pain is leave, and cut those involved out of your life. Until it's considered a crime with applicable jail time, or vigilante anti-cheating lynch mobs start coming out, that's just how it is.
>So be prepared for people like you and your bf being considered scum whether you like it or not.
You don't do something like this and expect to not be considered scum, anon. I don't know where you're getting this idea that I think it's good or defensible, but that's not the case.

No. 323735

My wedding vows included being 'faithful' so uh… adultery breaks that for sure.

No. 323774

File: 1542024192765.jpeg (26.8 KB, 236x208, 0ED71323-05A6-4F1E-91DA-72770E…)

My boyfriend just screamed at me. He was in my face pointing at me and I could feel his spit on my face. It was so scary. I started it. I yelled at him about something little and he asked me to leave him alone and I said sorry and didn’t leave so I feel like it’s my fault. He just kept shouting at the top of his lungs at me. I ask if screaming at me made him feel better and he said yes. He’s had a really hard couple of months and I haven’t so it’s my fault. I should have just left him alone. He said he’s sorry but I haven’t been screamed at like that since I was a kid. He said annoy him and boss him around and don’t listen to him, I agree. I know it’s bad that he treated me this way but I truly think he wouldn’t if I did the things he said.

No. 323778

You guys are kids screaming at each other and he's stupid for dragging it on and getting in your face which is just totally inappropriate and provoking. Don't boss him around. At least you both apologized but this doesn't sound as serious as you want it to because both are at fault.

No. 323780

I just stepped on the scales for the first time and I can't believe I'm 210lbs. This is the highest I've ever weighed and its disgustingly un-healthy. The thought losing weight AGAIN makes me want to die but it must be done I'm just so weak from yo-yoing now for years, my body is destroyed.

No. 323787

I agree. We’re definitely both overly dramatic. I’ve calmed down since I wrote that but yeah. I’m the one who could have just walked away and should next time

No. 323796

You shouldn't have screamed at him in the first place. If somebody did that to me, I would yell back too.

No. 323807

I would like to note when I yelled I more raised my voice annoyed for him to take care of something he said he would (it could have been nicer but I was frustrated)and he responded with full on shouting at the top of his lungs in my face

No. 323815

Ordered some skincare products last week and even though I selected next-day shipping and stayed in specifically so I would be there for it, I'm still waiting for it.

The courier has supposedly tried to deliver twice, but I "wasn't in." Except I was, and I know my doorbell works fine because I've had other people use it since then, so the courier either didn't bother to come at all or came and then was so confused by the idea of needing to ring a doorbell that he just gave up and left. What the fuck?

No. 323816

Fuck him but I wouldn't recommend trying to settle with the guy, as long as his wife doesn't find out who actually cares? just get your nut and move on, don't listen to the insecure anons on her

No. 323818

>Being against cheating? You must be insecure!

No. 323820

Most grown ups would be upset but just move on, you sound like you don't have much experience under your belt and throw a tantrum if your boyfriend so much as spoke to a member of the opposite sex, you've been sperging in this thread since yesterday about this topic, does it hit too close to home?

No. 323821

>>It just means your SO is going to work extra hard to keep it secret from you.
Bitchwtf.jpg You can uh clearly tell the anons whose been in a relationship ITT vs the ones whose talking out of their ass

No. 323823

This is the first time I contributed to this argument. There are many people against your retarded opinion.

No. 323824

He might be frustrated/stressed/etc, but he still made the choice to act that way. You didn't make the best choice when you raised your voice at him, and you could have dealt with your frustrations more productively, but ultimately, you apologised. He then decided to scream in your face, because it makes him feel better. That's not ok, anon. Combined with the way you talk about your roles in the relationship, that's some bright orange flag shit. Perhaps take some time to reflect on your relationship? loveisrespect.org has a little quiz about healthy relationships that can help you with that.

No. 323826

He should take the test, since she sounds far more abusive than he does. She said that it's true that she bosses him around, she starts yelling at him and then acts like a poor little victim when he defends himself.
>uwu I know it's my fault, I should just do what he says, but he's so scary, everbody pity me, cryinganimugirl.jpg
You're guilt tripping him, anon. Your words and tone hurt him too. If you can't handle getting shit back, then you shouldn't dish out in the first place.

No. 323827

Screaming at someone in the first place is a shitty enough, but not leaving someone alone when they ask you to is a total cunt move. I've screamed in my ex bf's face when he did this shit to me to.

No. 323828

If you'd looked at the tests on the site, they cover both the respondent's behaviours (the "am I a good partner?" quiz) and the behaviours of their partner (the "is my relationship healthy?" quiz).

>I started it, I should have just left it alone, he's had a hard few months while I haven't, it's all my fault, he says I'm bossy and annoying

sound a lot like the words of someone who's being emotionally/verbally abused.

also consider:
>I haven't been screamed at like that since I was a kid.

It sounds like anon has a history of at least some kind of abuse, and is probably stuck in that toxic, dramatic, rollercoaster pattern in her current relationship. Anon definitely made poor choices, but if her boyfriend was actually sincere about being sorry there wouldn't be any "yeah it felt good to scream at you" bullshit.

No. 323831

That's a tactic many use. First being awful and then apologizing, acting as if they feel extremely guilty, talking bad about themselves, until the other person not only forgives them, but also feels like they are the one who's in the wrong.
She made a mistake and now tries to make him and us feel sorry for her.

No. 323835

You're reaching.
Hinting that she was being screamed at =/= history of abuse.
Children can be awful and even the sweetest of parents sometimes snap.

No. 323844

Nowhere am I letting anon get off scot free, she made her own shitty decisions (both people in shitty, toxic relationships tend to be shitty and toxic, whodathunkit? But anon's obviously sensitive to any kind of criticism, so I'm trying to be gently constructive instead of ripping into her), the concerning bit is the fact that her boyfriend went off at her and said it felt good. In healthy relationships, even if you get into the occasional shitfight, it shouldn't ever feel good to treat your partner terribly.

That, and raising your voice and being annoyed because he's not followed through on something he said he would (>>323807)
=/= getting up in her face and screaming at her and covering her in spit. That is an ABSOLUTE over reaction on his part.

Frustrated parents yelling at kids I can understand, but in-your-face screaming sessions (especially over petty shit) are abusive.
People who've been abused and haven't yet healed generally haven't put 2+2 together, and they're not exactly going to spill their guts over everything that's ever happened to them if they haven't made the proper connection.

No. 323857

Uhm what the fuck is this. You sound really unstable.

No. 323858

Why the fuck does all the girls on this site have literally no self worth. Leave the man alone and get your own anon. Are you not worthy enough to be the course meal or are you only good enough to be the side piece? He is not going to leave his family for you, and if he does you do not want him because he'll never be faithful to you.

No. 323862

What I hate about the cheaters is that they're so smug about it.

I can even understand that it happens, not that I excuse it in any way, but maybe some people find this perfect match that they're willing to ditch their current partner. It's honestly not a feat or an accomplishment to brag about. It just makes you sound like a dumb side hoe.

I don't care about that anon's self-worth. She should be judged just like the guy. I hope his wife finds out and rapes him in the courtroom. I have no sympathy for anons that do this.

No. 323864

It sounds like you both were stressed out, it happens. It's good that he apologized.

No. 323868

>>Not being okay with cheating
>>Y-You must not let your boyfriend talk to the opposite sex!!
How the hell is that the same thing anon?

No. 323869

File: 1542037553527.jpeg (17.6 KB, 500x380, dca.jpeg)

Having been the "other woman" when I was young and stupid, nothing good ever comes from a guy leaving someone for you. You simply become an easy way out of a relationship for an individual who isn't mature enough to be upfront about their dissatisfaction with it. And it's always a repeating pattern; both times it happened, I was eventually cheated on when they got bored and pursued someone else. It's not worth it and you arent going to change someone with the habit.

Love yourself and dont put yourself in that position because you're guaranteeing a bad outcome and future misery.

No. 323870

People who post dumb shit genuinely have a hard time arguing for their opinion properly, its like something is wrong in their brain.

No. 323874

>>sound a lot like the words of someone who's being emotionally/verbally abused.
>>I haven't been screamed at like that since I was a kid
>>Sounds like abuse in history
or…or…. They just got in a fight and its not that big of a deal? Usually people get yelled at when they're kids because they're getting scolded. You are projecting so hard on this anon. This isn't you.

No. 323878

The California fire hella sucks but honestly am I supposed to feel bad for rich people who lost things????
They have the money to replace it probably a hundred times over

I feel bad for the people who can’t and may not get back on their feet
Not for some person who managed to get their two ferraris and a couple of items before their multimillion dollar house burned

No. 323880

Stop it, anon. Men who have affairs almost always just want a new experience and once it's out of their system, they drop you and act like you don't exist. You're hurting an innocent person and gaining nothing from it but brief sexual gratification. You will also feel like shit over it as some point unless you're an actual sociopath.

Also, serious fucking warning to anyone having an affair with a married man or thinking about it- many wives will seek revenge on you and do whatever they can to fuck up your life. Or straight up[ physically attack you, and most likely get away with it as long as they don't fuck you up too bad because law enforcement is usually much more sympathetic to them than the homewrecker they kicked the shit out of.

No. 323882


Plus sometimes when the wife finds out she dumps the husband and then he comes crawling to you expecting you to be delighted.

I had a friend who was fucking a married man, and she said it was great because he didn't expect commitment since he was married. Wife finds out, dumps him, he shows up at my friend's door at 1am crying and saying he wants to be with her. She was a dumbass so she let him in, and then had to act like his bangmaid for the next week while he cried about missing his kids and expected her to comfort him. After that she threw him out too kek.

No. 323884

Oh please, get your self-righteous head out of your ass. You think rich people don't have sentimental items that can't simply just be replaced? You think they're not losing precious family heirlooms or photo albums or gifts from people in their lives who've died just like any other fucking person in that position? You think losing the homes they grew up in or raised their children in isn't just as irreplaceable to them? FFS there's some shit money can't buy or replace and the people bitter toward the rich seem to be the ones who can't grasp this concept the most. Rich or not, they're still people.

No. 323885

That anon is right. This is what psychologists will say about cheaters most of the time. Generally speaking, its the cheaters baggage that leads them to cheat not their partner. I knew someone whose husband said one of the reasons he cheated is because he felt like she prioritized her family too much. She spent time with her family a lot because he wasn't very emotionally supportive.

Basically, a cheater will look for any justification for their actions no matter how small. They also are the type to give very little in relationships but get upset if their partner starts to do the same because emotional neglect. My friend and I am had a good laugh the other day because we looked up her ex's past mistress online for fun and a mugshot popped up. Guess she's still the hot mess she used to be

No. 323889

Wow anon I’m actually from near where those fires are and let me tell you, those cities that were decimated were not full of rich people. No ones Ferrari’s burned up and over 20 regular middle class people burned alive so have a little fucking compassion. You really need to get your news from more reliable sources than twitter and onison.

No. 323890

This reminds of a scene in American Horror Story where the two main characters are fighting over the fact the husband cheated on his wife with a 21yo right after she had a miscarriage at 7 months. She gives this really heartbreaking detailed rant about how she had to carry the dead baby for 16 days then give birth to a corpse. He responds by saying ~he was hurting too~ and it was her fault he cheated because she bought a dog to try to somewhat ease her suffering and should have been paying more attention to him instead.

At the time I thought that scene was unrealistic, but after seeing first hand how far some men will go to justify their cheating as opposed to taking responsibility, I now know it's tragically accurate.

No. 323891

>waahhh how dare I have compassion for others
What are you, five?

No. 323893

I think the California Wildfires aren't in unpreventable act of nature. If there was better forest management the fires probably wouldn't be nearly as bad as they are today. But National Forest Service funding has been gutted. Until people are willing to pay for that we should expect more forest fires.

No. 323899

But what is causing them? Why is there ALWAYS fires in the forest I doubt the trees are setting themselves on fire so what the heck.

No. 323901

My boyfriend (we've been together for 3 years now) recently followed two girls on instagram who are from our city and they followed him back. For some reason it bothers me a lot and makes me jealous. I am in no means ugly but I am also no model type and could ever compare myself to these girls in terms of beauty. I wouldn't be bothered if he just followed a random well known model - it bothers me that they followed him back and that they are from our city. I constantly have to think about it & I am afraid that they might talk & that he meets those girls behind my back. I have the urge to just go to his phone & delete every female that's on there. I've been in a similar situation in the past - my ex-boyfriend back then cheated on me and I remember myself monitoring every little thing he did on social media before I broke up with him. I am afraid that history will repeat itself and the thought of my boyfriend cheating on me gives me panic attacks everytime I look at my phone. I really want to talk to him about it but how in the world can I adress this without looking like a crazy psychotic stalker girlfriend?

No. 323907

The forests aren’t being maintained properly, the dead and overgrown brush needs to be removed because it’s a huge fire hazard. It’s like how areas that are in hurricane zones have their trees trimmed or the dead ones removed so they don’t fall onto anything important

Trump is a jerk but what he said was right and people have been complaining about it for a while.

No. 323908

God i gotta vent cause i mentioned my kindle in another thread…

I lost track of it when i got kicked out by my ex but i really don't think my family whom had to help me would have missed something like that.

I have no idea where it is though and going through all my shit in storage would be…a project.

I dread that it got left with my ex and he just took it and gave it to his new gf, like i suspect happened to all the winter hats and the scarf he gave me i can't find. But I'd never really get a straight answer or be able to get it back if that's the case…

No. 323915

Basically what this >>323907 said

But Trump has been cutting funding to the National Forest Service whose main job it is to manage forest fires. People are going to have to, gasp, pay more resources to the government if they want to manage this problem.

Also climate change is making fires worse

No. 323917

I’m not stupid and I never said I don’t feel bad for middle class families
I feel for people who CANT afford to replace the items they lost
I feel bad for people who lost their lives
It’s sad

I don’t have much sympathy for rich people who can easily replace 90% of their possessions
Of course there’s sentimental value in items and yeah they can’t get those back
But everyone has sentimental items they lost and more
And FYI ive looked more than twitter and Facebook like that other anon said

No. 323919

tbf eucalyptus sorta do set themselves on fire. i think the forest fires are mostly thought to be due to global warming and wind (like having dry trees fall on powerlines and such) however.

No. 323925

I hate how casually the word selfish gets thrown around. It's basically just a label to shame someone for having boundaries or making decisions in their own best interest instead of blindly caving to what others want from them.

Some recent examples that lead me to this vent…

>husband and I being called selfish for moving instead of staying in an area we hate with no job opportunities to be close to family

>friend with child calling me selfish for not letting her small child stay with me for a week so she can go on vacation
>cousin being called selfish by her husband for not wanting to spawn a second child because she never wants to go through pregnancy/childbirth ever again, she said she'd be open to adoption and he shut it down because ~but muh genetics~

No. 323931

Decent people feel sorry for everyone affected by this situation and don't treat suffering like a competition and their sympathy the prize.

No. 323936

I agree, I hope for the same for anon.
rot in hell

No. 323972

I feel like shit, a really cute, kind guy asked me out and I refused. It has been the first time somebody was so interested in me.
I declined because I have an online bf who is also really nice and sweet, but 13 years older, still lives with his parents, and we will probably never live with each other because he doesn't want to abandon his brother and farm.

No. 323975

i've always been average/skinny. weighed the exact same weight (56kg) for years on end even tho i ate like shit and did 0 exercise, still managed to look healthy/average enough.

my shit habits are catching up to me. i've tried eating better this year but for the first time i went 3kg over my normal weight. it fluctuates depending on whether i eat better or exercise that week. i just weighed myself, i'm at 59kg and have a very notorious fupa to boot. i've never had a fupa and it makes me feel gross, whenever i wear crop tops or tight pants it hangs over and makes me look pregnant and fat. i hate this, i hate this so much and i know i did it to myself. i'm planning on going on a strict diet and exercising from now on. i wish i was skinny again. i hate looking like a fat slob.

No. 323977

>I declined because I have an online bf
>13 years older
>we will probably never live with each other

jesus anon love yourself, dont want to sound like an crusty baby boomer but real life os escaping you while you invest yourself in some online, ldr bullshit

No. 323981

I’m sorry anon but you really have to think about the future of your relationship. As someone who’s been through online relationships when I was younger, the chances of them working out are slim especially if neither party is able to put in the effort and sacrifices to actually move in together. The age gap and his unwillingness to work on this relationship doesn’t bode well for your happiness.

No. 323984

Wtf anon? You should definitely give a go at a real relationship, you have no idea what your current "bf" really is like IRL.

No. 323987

Anon, you're being dumb. Don't waste your time on an online relationship that's clearly not gonna go anywhere when you have an opportunity for a real one.

No. 323992

Don't worry anon, I am aware it sounds bad. But at this point, I really can't abandon him. He doesn't have any friends besides me and he suggested he would stop living if I ever ghosted him. I also still like him so much, more than anyone else.

I understand, yes. I was thinking about moving in with him but I am honestly really scared of his brother (he hates women and he regularly severely injures my bf).

I know, this is not the smartest decision.

No. 323996

holy shit anon. that is just sad. think about this: why would your boyfriend want to deprive you of your youth, real relationships if he really loved you?

No. 323997

people are astounded that stan lee died. the man was 95. ofc he was on his way out.

No. 324002

> he suggested he would stop living if I ever ghosted him.
He won't even leave his family to live with you. What makes you think he would kill himself and leave them behind?

Men are always threatening to kill themselves to manipulative women into leaving. Stop letting yourself believe his bullshit.

No. 324003

>he suggested he would stop living if I ever ghosted him.

He's manipulating you. I don't want to sound mean but you're so gonna regret this.

No. 324005

>He doesn't have any friends besides me and he suggested he would stop living if I ever ghosted him.
Low-quality, manipulative men always threaten to do this. He’s manipulative, still lives with his family who seem like incredibly broken people, unwilling to put any effort into the relationship.. what do you see in this guy? It’s clear he’s just taking advantage of your empathy. This isn’t a guy you can save if this is what you believe you are doing. You deserve better than this.

No. 324006

dude this is textbook manipulation you're falling for. "I don't have anyone but you~ I'll kill myself if we break up" like almost every girl has dated a fuckboy like this and guess what, they never fucking kill themselves and turns out they do have friends and family. you said yourself he doesn't want to move to see you because he doesn't want to leave his family, why would you think he'd kill himself? get a fucking grip.

and on the .1% he did try suicide, guess what? it's still not your fault. it's literally abuse to cry about suicide to keep people from leaving you.

No. 324019

as a fattychan i'm so sick of seeing all these articles talking about how weight loss always fails and body-posi stuff that blames everything else besides the individual for being overweight. i'm a lazy depressive cunt so i know why i'm like this but i won't lie, it gets under my skin and makes me feel hopeless.

No. 324021

Thank you for your honesty. I have been in relationship with him for a year, I know he is truly kind. He may be a little whiny, but I he is a good person at heart. I sound delusional, but I really can't ghost him. I've tried to do this once and failed miserably after 20 hours, I was constantly worrying and getting hives. The messages he sent me when he thought I left him were really awful, I can't do that to him again.

No. 324023

You are naive and being taken advantage of by him. I hope you will some day have the resolve to stop talking to him and not let a bunch of words on a screen sent by a loser who is too far away for you to even see have so much control over your life.

No. 324026

that guy is not kind. he is straight up evil for doing this to you. males are so pathetic.

No. 324029

Start living for yourself.

No. 324040

Anon, listen, one year ago I was kicked to the curb by my online friend (we had a bizzare friends with benefits thing, something like being in an online relationship without him calling it one - very unhealthy because of my too strong attachment and his fuckboy ways). I felt suicidal and terrible because I had only him beyond 1 friend but never tried to put my suicidal thoughts against him, I let him leave (though it was hard as fuck to me and I struggled with the idea, I was shrieking like an exorcised demon). Because of the breakdown of the relationship my live-in bf found me and I am so glad I don't have the fuckboy friend in my life. I assume he is also better not having a girl willing to change her life for his shut-in, disabled ass when he just wanted to fuck around kek.
I am not saying that your bf will find a gf close to him immediately, but there are good sides to leaving an bullshit online ldr. A lot of this depends on him waking up to deal with his shit. I am sorry he is living in an abusive home but how come he is not willing to change his life?
Also note I did not pull of the suicide (even though my mental health was pretty close to an all time low) cause it's hard to pull off properly and I am a pussy. Bet said can be said about your bf.

No. 324046

Stop making excuses and take some responsibility. You aren't reluctant to leave because of how he reacts to ghosting, you just dont want to leave because you're attached. But no kind person would keep someone hostage like that, and if he loved you he would be taking action to live with you. Simple as that, and I'm talking from experience in a similar situation (spoiler alert, he didn't kill himself, he moved out his parents house and in with a girl he actually loved).

No. 324047

But they’re wrong. Don’t listen to the crabs in the bucket anon. They’re lying.

No. 324052

>>He doesn't have any friends besides me
geee I wonder why. He sounds like a man child who lives in his parent's farm's basement and doesn't have any responsibilities. Here's a secret: He doesn't want to move out because he's comfortable where he is. If he truly wanted to be with you, you guys would have made a plan for that already. You have no future goal with this man other than not being alone. That's what it boils down to. You do not love him, I'm sure you did once before but no you're with him because you know he wouldn't ever get anyone else so he'd never leave you. Anon grow a pair, wipe your face and gain some self confidence. No self respecting girl would settle for this bullshit.

No. 324055

enjoy being held hostage by some loser on the internet who doesn't give a shit about you lmao

No. 324063

>weight loss fails
>body posi
I'm a fattychan too and where do you find this stuff slamming you in the face everyday? Granted I only have facebook.

All mental issues should be properly addressed before you start a weight loss journey, or else yes, you are almost guaranteed to fail. I dropped 90 pounds but then gained it all back and then some because of my shitty ex, job and relationship stress, and being depressed because of the former. I had no ways to positively cope, and when I reached out for therapy I got a 300 pound hamplanet social worker who didn't take me seriously and canceled my second session for an extended fast food lunch. No joke, and guess who never reached out for help again. Everyone around me told me my weight gain wasn't noticeable until it suddenly was. Now I'm too far in the hole to resolve the issue just by a month or two of serious dieting and exercise. It would take me years, fucking again. And I don't have anyone who would realistically support me.

Fix it before it's too late, that's all I got to say.

No. 324076

I hate seeing this shit as well. Someone on my dash was linking all these studies proving that obese people will always be obese, diets fail, because science and muh genetics, and theyre TOTALLY telling the truth that all they eat is salad!! It hasn't ever been proven that many fat people lie and binge in secret!! All it's going to do is keep people from even trying because "oops it's not my fault".

No. 324084

1 year is not a long time at all to know a person. This is coming from someone who had an 8 year friendship online and this girl was my best friend forever, but I learned something new about her even 8 years later and we are no longer friends. You need to focus on real life.

No. 324085

W-What was it anon

No. 324100

>a bunch of words on a screen sent by a loser who is too far away for you to even see

Me everitime I had an online friend, or was pursued online

I think Anon should do research on LDR. There's a lot of Youtubers who have had them, check out the videos. Especially the ones on why it didn't work.

Being courted by words on a screen is very different from irl. I am yet to meet a man who was the same in real life. The worst one groomed me for 9 hours a day for a whole week. He seemed obsessed with me, we got along like a house on fire…supposedly. When we met he looked like a hobo, was only attractive from specific angles, barely spoke to me and then bundled me into a taxi to take me to an unfamiliar place, to have weirdly aggressive but brief sex that I didn't really agree to.

I had a friend for 6 years online. We spoke every day via text, it was a close friendship. When I started publicly posting asking our mutual friends why he wouldn't meet me, he had a breakdown, threatened suicide, and then got furious when I subtweeted him and vaguely threatened me. (we never met, obviously)

I sorta online dated a guy for a couple months. We sent hundreds of messages and emails all through the day. He wrote very thoughtful emails and apparently had a lot of emotions about me. I was dating an irl guy at the same time, and online guy dared(!) to guilt trip me about that and made an ultimatum of it. Obviously I kept seeing irl guy and online guy stopped talking to me (despite being apparently so interested)

Men are SO different in real life. Date the real life guy and just don't tell online guy. Don't lose out on real experiences for something that may not pan out.

I have so many more of these but trust me. Go for irl guy(s). >>324021

No. 324112

I mean, she might be videochatting with him and going on voice calls, but your point still stands.
I am so mad that this guy is keeping her captive despite having nothing to offer and wasting het time - and she goes with it

No. 324147

i fell for the whole LDR thing when i was a young teen and it took a serious emotional toll on me at the moment. looking back on it now, we would've never met (totally different continents and we were underage) and it meant nothing on the long run. you could literally sever this bond right now and never hear from him again and it wouldn't make a change. it's up to you. you're being naiive and stubborn by keeping this up. block his number everywhere and go live your fucking life, you only get one

No. 324172

All your advice is valid but

>Date the real life guy and just don't tell online guy.

That's kind of shitty.

No. 324192

NTA but yeah, she should not lower herself to this level, just end the online relationship…

No. 324197

Sort of; but like other anons have said the LDRs are often not "real" in terms of impact or longevity. I suspect the guy is messaging all day so it would make it difficult to do both anyway, (6 year guy would eventually accuse me of shagging random guys we knew if I didn't respond immediately) but outright dumping would put pressure on irl guy in the immediate moment (before anon realizes the ldr was probably not going anywhere)

Also based on what she posted he is gonna freak out/pretend to freak out (apparent suicidal etc) and it may be a lot easier for anon to avoid that stress in the immediate future. If things end up serious with irl guy she can slowly drop online guy. Obviously being deceptive is not cool, but in avoidance of all the expected emotional manipulation it's a good idea on the short term.

No. 324202

File: 1542084651740.jpg (96.47 KB, 800x798, Tohru_shrug.jpg)

>do drugs and alcohol because no one will respect me
>no one will respect me because of drugs and alochol
Anyway, I'm hated, and it's okay!! and I'm really crossfaded right now, awesome!

No. 324207

why does non one respect you because you do weed? where do you live? Alabama?

No. 324210

Maybe it’s not weed?

No. 324215

I'm not American, and I don't smoke weed, cheers anon!
I just feel really weird right now, my head is so weird, wtf wow!

No. 324219

So many of my male friends are lame. They'll ignore my texts until I mention something sexual then the seen mark comes not even a minute later with a quick reply after.

No. 324222

when will anons on lolcow stop posting reaction pics from this gross pedo animu

No. 324228

sound like they're not your friends

No. 324237


Also >>324228

No. 324241

i really wish anons would stop posting almost all anime reaction images. they're almost all pedo shit or sexualized

No. 324242

A week ago my life was going great and literally within the space of a couple days my relationship is going down the drain, my depression is hitting hard, and I have the most painful tooth ache. Juggling all this and my fulltime job with shitty, inconsistent hours is making me seriously want to kill myself, but it's coming up to a year since my bf lost his grandma so I can't even do that without being a massive cunt :^)

No. 324244

I hate that my bf's libido is a LOT lower than mine. It's not worth breaking up over since he's such an amazing guy and I love him so much but damn if it ain't frustrating.

No. 324252

do you guys think making around $1800-2000 a month (pure profit) is ok for new business situation? i feel so discouraged. i have no real bills or debts and i could work so much harder, but i still feel like because i'm not working for someone else, it's not real? doesn't help that my family feels that way too

No. 324262

Nobody respects you because drugs and alcohol are fucking lame unless you're just smoking weed and you said you aren't so. Makes sense.

Also you look like a guy posting ugly anime reaction images like this.

No. 324265

It always makes me cringe when I see somebody posting some cute little anime girl being sad or anime girls hugging etc (comes across as tranny-like; on cc it's more rampant than here, they constantly post some "yeah, internet hug, i love you so much!“ shit. Ew.)
Look at those pictures and then imagine what the average lc user who posted this looks like. Some weeb women in her 20s, maybe some mental problems, maybe even a NEET…

No. 324290

File: 1542115953444.jpg (151.74 KB, 838x324, 1529733487065.jpg)

I wish some anons would realize LC wouldn't even exist if it weren't for weebs. This is a /cgl/ offshoot made so weeaboos could talk shit about other weeaboos. Our main board is called /pt/ for a reason. Things like anime reaction images are part of the package. For all intents and purposes, if you hate anime, Japanese fashion or anything even approaching weeb territory, you're in the wrong place. It's a weeaboo imageboard (and the concept of imageboards itself is inherently weeb shit, it came from 2ch).
Just make your own "no anime allowed" women's imageboard on 8chan or something if animu is such a trigger, not that hard.

No. 324294

I just got hit with a $900 bill for some work that needs to be done to my car. I’m bummed because I have no choice to have it done, I need my car for the next year or so until I have an opportunity to trade it in or find another. I like my car but it’s old, expensive to have parts replaced and it doesn’t have a lot of features like newer vehicles.

No. 324305

food is like a drug to me I hate it

No. 324308

we all know it started from /cgl/. i've never been a weeb but i've been around chan culture forever, HOWEVER, it's tiresome to see the same male shit. sexualized drawings of girls and women, etc. it'd be nice if there were reaction images of male anime characters? or wholesome anime? the pedo and sexualized shit of women and girls is real tired and i don't think lc needs to mirror male imageboards. it's a space for women.

No. 324309

I'm usually pretty thick skinned and don't care what others say, but a few days ago a co-worker called me a whore (in a joking manner) and it left me feeling a bit weird because it came from him. He's usually very calm and respectful, but this really crossed the line, even if it was a joke. I've known him for 6 months and we're not close.

In general my coworkers treat me like an idiot because I have to constantly ask them stuff because they never give me full instructions. If I ask them for clarification they get annoyed and I look bad, if I do everything on my own and mess up it's the same thing. I just can't win.

No. 324314

I don't like binge-watching anime. I'm good with watching an episode or so, but these days I don't find new anime particularly stimulating and I get bored with it easily.

Sometimes I partake so as to keep the peace and not be impolite to a friend or this new guy I'm seeing, but boy if they don't get fucking offended if I'm not compelled by the newest weebshit anime they're into. Then, when I try to introduce them to my shows that aren't anime, they can't even PRETEND like they're into it. They don't pay attention and act like a plot they have to think about is some convoluted tripe.

Last night there was almost an argument between me and a guy I'm on the second month of dating because he thought I was falling asleep while watching this shallow plot, wuss turnt hero, beat-em-up gorefest that apparently he loves. I'm a little salty because I thought he was normie and his anime interest was casual, but this binge watching vapid edgy shit is anything but. The anime had positive reception but I assume the majority of these reviewers are like teenagers and are easily impressed over stories with edgy premises and decent animation. Nonsensical plot holes aplenty.

So last night we're on the second season, second episode of dumb weebshit show. I was snuggling nicely while watching when I get shaken by him and told "don't fall asleep." Motherfucker. I wasn't even doing anything wrong. So I say back annoyedly: That I wasn't sleeping and the reason why I've fallen asleep in the past is after watching several of these episodes in a row, the time is usually 2 or 3am when most normal people start to fall asleep automatically.

He got offended that I was offended and pouted for the next episode because I dared clapped back and he was only teasing blah blah blah.

Weebs can get stuffed.

No. 324315

You're dating 2 months and he's making you sit and have anime binging marathons. Fuck what's it going to be like down the line.

No. 324316

stop dating this guy. no rational adult would get OFFENDED you're not invested in his shit-tier weeb anime, no matter how much he likes it. he can be internally upset about it, but not so much as to visibly get mad at you for not taking interest in something. you don't have to like his shows just bc he makes you binge them.

i relate to you. i find it incredibly hard to make friends with weebs today because they're all into new anime, mostly shounen (i fucking hate new shounen, it bores me to death and it all looks and feels the same to me), so i can never discuss the shows i like with them bc they've either never heard of them or don't watch anything that isn't shounen. it lowkey sucks.

No. 324318

Kek, don't date 14 years old dude. Why does he even care you're falling asleep watching stupid animes at 2am? It's not like you're missing out on Citizen Kane, ffs.

No. 324325

This literally sounds like my teenage weeaboo boyfies and I do not regret in the slightest that I swithed to dating normies.
recommend you do the same

No. 324329

>>324314 dump him already, he seems like an obnoxious child

>>324316 Agreed. I relate to both you and the other anon as well, modern anime specially shonen and these with gore fest or oversexualized girls/pedobait is boring and cringy as fuck and even the anime I enjoy from the 90's and early 2000's I can't watch more than one episode a day and also I'm not obsessed with it like the weebs nowadays. I had a massive weeb classmate who was extremely obsessed with anything about anime and japan and seemed like they binge-watched any title just to brag how into it they were or to show off how many shows they've watched, kek

No. 324337

>>I was dating an irl guy at the same time, and the guy dared to guilt trip me about that
Well yeah anon because you were cheating. If you're happy in your irl relationship why did you feel the need to seek out another relationship else where? You're disgusting

No. 324346

I agree with both you and the anon you are replying to. I am not against all anime and weeb shit, quite the opposite and it is very annoying anons here sperging about hating on ~the smelly weebs~ aka anyone remotely interested in Japanese popculture. Lolcow was built for weebs so it's bizzare to see people sperg out for no reason.
At the same time I hate mindless posting of reaction images from lolicon shit, sexualised moe girls and so on.

No. 324381

Is male poster?

I was not exclusive with the online guy, or the irl guy, so no cheating was happening.

No. 324384

This is very good anon. We are just brainwashed that being an employee is the only "right" way. As long as your business is legal and safe, it is a real job and you're doing great!

No. 324391

i think i'm a shitty teacher and i don't know how to be better. i haven't had any training and my mentor is taking the semester off.

i really care about it, it's all i ever wanted to do. but a couple of my students have done worse than expected this semester and they're blaming my tutelage.

the stress of the job is making me really sick too. my ibs and migraines are killing me and i have nightmares about work.

i'm contracted for three more years and it sounded like a dream but i'm dreading it now.

No. 324428

I'm not male! I just am really fucking lame, thanks.
I just searched anime shrug and it was the option there. It's literally just a picture, you ladies need to take a few and chill down, jesus christ.

No. 324456

i feel like i'm constantly being judged and laughed at in public to the point i get physically ill when i'm out. trying to convince myself it isn't real doesn't work anymore because i'm an autist and i have plenty of memories (some recent) of being laughed at by strangers. i can't get a job or finish education because of this. therapists never take it seriously.

i'm such a failure.

No. 324468

i can kind of relate to this because i was like this for the longest time albeit to a lesser degree. i was even paranoid that people were outside my house looking at me through the window laughing at me. i've had so many people bully me that it was ingrained in my mind that i existed just to be a laughingstock. all i can say is that you aren't a failure and to take life small steps at a time. it also takes a while to find a good therapist who understands you.

No. 324474

Does anyone find they get better with age? The older I get (i'm 20 now) I get more attention and compliments from my looks. It all started when I was 17 and really took off when I hit 19. I was bullied as a preteen and most of my teen years for being "ugly". I just find it amusing

No. 324477

I feel the same, I'm nearly running when walking, sweating like hell, because I feel so awfully stared at.
Whenever somebody in class laughs I can't help but think that they're making fun of me.

No. 324483

yes. i'm 24 and this is the best ive ever looked. this weird 14-16 yos are so hot meme is so retarded.

No. 324484

I thought that but I think I peaked at like 22. I know it's a meme but I can't unsee muh nasolabial folds. 20-22 was perfect because I lost enough baby fat to reveal my bone structure but my skin didn't start creasing yet.

No. 324488

I love my age, and I’m actually in my prime at 27. Ill probably even be better looking when I’m 30. I feel really secure about aging, and kinda laugh a little every time I hear anons call someone in their early 20’s “haggard”. I think a lot of younger girl here are terrified of getting older, because media is obsessed with youth. I think it is something to embrace, and it is all case-by-case. If you take care of yourself, you will age with beauty and grace. Your life is not over by 25, it’s only beginning.

No. 324492

Same, I'm 23 and my looks already went downhill. Just a couple years ago I was so cute and now…sad, but ew.

No. 324499

File: 1542139656540.gif (499.28 KB, 500x281, crygif.gif)

I've fallen hard for this girl I'm 80% sure doesn't even like girls. I want to tell her how I feel just to get it off my chest and finally have 100% confirmation that It's never going to happen so I can work on getting over her. But at the same time I'm scared telling her I like her will make her not want to be friends anymore, which would devestate me. From the moment we met I just felt this instant kinship with her. I used to think love at first sight was bullshit, but now I don't know anymore. We've known each other a year and a few months now. I wish I could tell her how special she is to me, even as a friend, without possibly creeping her out. I'm so scared of losing her.

No. 324500

This is so wholesome to read here, I'm 23 and honestly I'm happier than I've ever been in my teens and look way better. Also a lot of people have nasolabial folds and still look fucking amazing, so I agree that this place is full of young girls with a really warped perception of aging. Take care of your bodies and you'll look amazing. Being 30 is not something to be afraid of imho, and people like shoe0nhead who dunk on 30 yo women and calls them grannies are probably jealous they got their shit together.

No. 324502

I get about the same amount of attention from men as I did when I was 18, but I've noticed that the quality of men has gone way up. Men actually approach me respectfully now, instead of texting me "U up? Wanna fuk?" at 3am and expecting me to jump at the chance.

No. 324511

How does me saying you were cheating make me a male? wat
>>Not exclusive
Anon you're either with them or not are you like in a shitty open relationship or something

No. 324512

The way I see it: I'm gonna age regardless so I can either find the beauty in it, or choose to feel like shit over something I don't have any realistic control over.

I think all the younger girls talking about how late 20s and 30s is "old" are gonna have it bite them in the ass once they get there themselves. I never got the obsession.

No. 324517


Teenagers calling women over 30 "hags" is hilarious. In ten years that's going to be you, genius. Did you think you weren't going to age?

No. 324526

Well said, anon! Very much agreed.

I'm 33 and do believe that my prime looks were probably 25-30 but my actual life was kind of a mess. I'm in a much more secure place emotionally, physically, financially, and my career is really starting to take off. I feel like this is ultimately so much more important.

Also just wanted to add one little thing, I think a major component to a person's attractiveness is how they carry themselves. It may be a little 'woo' to say, but I do believe carrying around a spiteful/bitter/negative attitude does show on your face over time and it looks like absolute shit.

No. 324547

My SO has bipolar disorder and i'm struggling very hard rn. Normally, she is like a functioning member of society, you wouldn't never know she has a disorder but she is a rough patch rn and we live together so I'm more close to anyone to her crisis and stuff. I'm very fucking tired, I haven't slept in days and I have headaches. I love her but this is too much, I'm seriously considering to moving out but I don't know where. I feel I can't tell my parents because they are super supportive and they'll want me to move asap. I can't vent to anyone else, I feel super alone.

No. 324549

You're not alone Anon, my SO also has this disorder and some days it can be very hard. I know how you feel.

No. 324551

The strongest foundation for any relationship is trust. Cheating is a violation of that trust and should result in proper severe consequences.

No. 324553

The guy that blew me off when I came to his city to visit him 1 1/2 years ago ( we met a few months before that I my city) just messaged me recently. He lost his super prestigious and high paying art gallery job, has moved to a third tier city in his country, and is now working part time as a bartender. He couldnt have cared enough to get off his couch and walk 20 min to meet me at the time but now he wrote that he was "deeply grateful" to have met me even once. I casually informed him with glee that I now have the pretigious job, apartment in major city, monies and all other areas which he has totally failed. I also realized in retrospect was a totally unhinged, how that year of success was most likely a fluke, and how I prob dodged a bullet in that he blew me off that time and the relationship never went anywhere. So why do I feel like shit and get the feeling I'm going to die alone eaten by my cats?

No. 324556

I would feel like shit too if I was still so cut up about getting blown off one time that I need to rub his face in it. Maybe you understated how close you were but what he did was pretty minor, he doesn't deserve a second chance but it doesn't warrant that much anger either. Anyway, real success is moving on and not giving a shit enough to still be mad.

No. 324561

my boyfriend and i are going to see his extended family for christmas, but he just got a call saying that his grandma might not make it to see Christmas. He's very close with his extended family and i feel like shit for not being able to do anything but give condolences. i know i literally cant do anything (i've already told him i love and support him and acknowleged that he probably doesnt wanna talk about it, and we live in our parent's houses so no physical) but i still feel bad

No. 324582

I don't know why the fuck some people who drive gotta act like their schedules are more important so as to be reckless or downright rude cunts on the road.

I was attempting a left turn to get onto the road for my job and the oncoming lane was backed up, creating a situation where even though the light was green nobody in the oncoming lane could move up.
Normally it's COMMON FUCKING ETIQUETTE to stop to leave a gap in front of the roadways so traffic trying to turn in or get out have the opportunity to do so. But of course, people think they're fucking entitled to BLOCK the entrances because ~ermagerd da green light~ even though it doesn't improve their situation to be 5 more feet ahead, and causes inconveniences for others.

Anyway, the person ahead of me was allowed to turn in. I made the same decision 3 seconds later and for some reason the fucking ass who sussed they could let the prior car turn laid their pathetic horn on me because I guess they wanted to move up, block the street, and not allow anyone else to turn because they did their duty by letting the one car get to their destination.
I flipped them off because I forget I have a car horn sometimes, but I should have done the same thing back.
What the fuck did they have to gain from that? Stupid asshole was still in the same spot (albeit a full foot moved up) when I left them to rot in traffic.

No. 324585

>him confessing to fucking his friend a couple times

lol wow

Why stay dedicated and loyal to someone like that?
Or if you are gonna cheat too, why not just have an open relationship or be poly or something?

No. 324595

Thanks for this post anon, it made me angry, because I was (am) sure I love my online bf and it pushed me to finally seriously talk to him. I had to hung up on him several times because he would always start crying/begging me to live on a farm with him. After few hours he decided to pay for my plane tickets next weeks so we can look for apartment in the city nearby. Thank you, I would proabably get coerced into living with his family if it wasn't for you.

I agree with you. I have met my bf irl two times before, and I like his personality better irl, but well, he looks older in natural light.

No. 324600

>crying and begging
men are fucking pigs, i bet this sick fuck would keep you in your basement if he could. be careful.

No. 324604

NTA but stand your ground. Don't let him sway you when you get there. Communicate clearly that you want a place TOGETHER not to live with pigs and shit on a farm. Be assertive

No. 324643

yeah, this behavior is just plain pathetic. i was in a shitty relationship with someone who behaved similarly since he’d cry and whine like a pathetic bitch over disagreements and he would often eventually agree to whatever compromises i proposed. he was never actually 100% okay with it though and was so unable to control his emotions over any previous compromises that we agreed to that he’d often blow up on me and drove me insane. this was all over stupid shit like me hanging out with friends and how much time i spent on my career vs serving his pathetic ass and being his replacement mom/personal therapist.

anyways, forgive my rambling but i just can’t help but see all these red flags of an abusive relationship in this particular anon’s relationship.

No. 324659

My grandma is losing her shit at me because I cut contact with my mom. Maybe she feels guilty because my mom is all sorts of fucked up and sees my decision as a reflection of her own bad parenting skills. Glad I'm never having kids.

No. 324679

I pray it doesn't end terribly for you, anon. Before you move in with him make sure you have a strong support system of friends and/or family in case your relationship turns abusive. I am scared cause you are like a bird in cage now, what happens when you live with the guy?

And if you love him so much, why did you feel bad about rejecting the irl cutie (unless it was 'damn I want my bf irl, not you' type of feel, which I understand)?

No. 324680

I just watched the latest episode of 9-1-1 (I know stupid tv show)and it made me feel so depressed
Especially the older gay couple and their mini story
I want a love just like that….but I feel like I never will

After the breakup with my ex I have this dreading feeling no one will ever love me again, I’m too disgusting and ugly to love
It sucks so badly and seeing something like that is so sweet and I want that!
I’m probably gonna start my period but I’m having them feels

No. 324686

I am absolutely terrified of dying and being so near death. I think about it every night and it never fails to induce a panic attack. It's so hard to stop imagining oblivion forever. Never existing in this form ever again. No matter how many trillions of years pass, I will never be a person with thoughts and feelings. Consciousness stopping for eternity. I can't deal with these extremely strong emotions of dread.

No. 324687

Why? Do you have a terminal disease? Live in Honduras?

How realistically close to death are you anon?

No. 324688

I've been having feeling the same way recently. I try not to think about it that much since I'm hopefully not dying soon but it makes me feel kinda sick.

No. 324700

I mean, I'm not so close that I might die tomorrow, I just mean close in the way that an 80 year lifespan isn't even a blip in the grand scheme of things. It's nothing, in fact. Our existence will be so inconsequential to the universe/multiverse/whatever that we may as well never have been.

No. 324701

They don't do enough controlled burns to clear the underbrush.

No. 324703

any idea why they decided not to do enough?

No. 324707

You'll get different answers depending on the political stance of who you're asking lol but from my understanding its a combination of issues. Law got changed forever ago that requires all fires be put out instead of letting smaller ones run their course, misinformed environmentalists don't like controlled burns, and most of the forests are federally owned and there isn't enough funding.

No. 324708

Yeah but that entire universe is nothing. Existence is meaningless, which means you can give it any meaning you want because it doesn’t matter.
Imo it’s the most relieving thing ever. We’re temporary and everything will continue on just how it should. None of us can change it, so we’re free to do as we please and make it a blip we enjoy.

No. 324710

I gave in and scrolled through a ton of thinspo yesterday.
I want to be 100 lbs (I'm 120 now) so bad even if I know that's hardly possible with being over six foot tall.
I never had an eating disorder, never dieted or restricted myself. I just eat when I feel hungry which is not often at all in winter.
I kinda envied ana girls because they have so much control over their food and I never could. I know and understand they're killing themselves, but I don't care about dying really, I hate myself so much.
Am I anachan already? Am I just really fucking stupid?

No. 324711

Around 4 years ago I had the same problem like you: constantly thought about death, constantly crying just thinking about getting older (I studied law and regularly broke into tears when the teacher mentioned cases like "Mr/Ms[…] *inherited", since it reminded me of death), I become downright suicidal, told everybody I'm going to kill myself because I can't stand the thought of my parents dying before me and so on.
In the end the only thing that really helped me was becoming a bit more religious again, like how I was like when I was a child.
And by that i don't mean that I go to church more often or anything like that, no, whenever I get scared I simply tell myself that life does not end after death, that there is a heaven, that I will meet my deceased loved ones again. I know that this sounds childsh, a lot of people will say religion in general is bullshit, but it really helped me to rid myself of that problem. Now and then I still get these feelings of panic and sadness, but no longer to the extent I did back then.
And I also still hope that one day scientists will find a way to immortality lol.

No. 324718

That’s really fucking stupid.
Anorexics aren’t better disciplined, they don’t have amazing self control, they are sick and terrified to eat.

Grow up.

No. 324720

I have a similar fear. Sometimes it's so overwhelming having existential thoughts. I don't want to die. I'm afraid of dying. There's so much I want to do while I'm alive. I want to live to be 100 years old. I know it's unrealistic, but there's times where I feel like a week went by so fast and I'm afraid of getting older.

No. 324731

File: 1542196042210.jpg (24.04 KB, 695x521, ben.jpg_539665225.jpg)

I wish elderly people didn't deteriorate. I befriend a lot of them and it hurts when they start getting ill or losing their lucidity, and you can't do shit about it. I ran into one of them today and he was talking absolute nonsense, I couldn't keep track of the conversation at all but tried to hide it because I didn't want to upset him. Made me tear up a little.

No. 324745

Speaking of this convo, ever since I tried weed I wanted more and other drugs. #YOLO We're all gonna die anyway. How do I make drug buddies?

No. 324751

>>324731 same. I go along with them a lot more than I do with people from my age range. Before I moved to my current home there was an elderly guy who used to greet me good morning and talk to me every time I was on the bus station, he was very nice but already showed signs of deterioration and I think he's not alive anymore…

There was another elderly guy in the same place I lived who used to sell very good homemade bread around the neighborhood, he and his wife were very nice people. Some idiotic teenager/early 20 girls once harassed him when he was on the bike selling bread and it made me so angry.

No. 324754

I try to help at least one elderly person a day if I can. The other day I kept on seeing an old lady at the store and she couldn't reach stuff so I helped her a bit and then kept an eye out on her if she needed more help. I also walked an old blind lady over the road because she almost walked into a big puddle.

No one irl knows I do this, It's my super secret thing that I help and befriend old people. They do wonder why old ladies always smile at me when we are in town, usually it's old ladies who I've previously helped.

No. 324765

this website is making me toxic, man. or maybe it opened up a pandora's box that was there all along, and i was just holding back this whole time. i wasn't such a negative, arrogant person before i started browsing lolcow daily. it started with the nicole dollanganger thread. at first i promised i wouldn't comment, just lurk, it couldn't hurt to lurk just a bit. then i commented on a post for the first time. then i did it again, and again, next thing i know i got banned twice this month for being understandably toxic (sperged out and called someone a very offensive racial slur). i promised myself a while ago that i'd never make fun of someone for how the look or their weight or anything other than their bad attitude, but here i am calling people retards, fattys and racial slurs. i can't even be like "oh this isn't who i am" when it is very clearly who i am and i intend to take responsibility for it. i try to keep it lowkey but it's starting to bleed off onto my real life.

i hate it, and i'd hate for my family and friends to find out how toxic and horrible i can be online and annonymously, but i can't seem to stop. i feel ashamed but, in all honesty, a part of me doesn't want to stop, and i wish i was enough of a cynic or a bad person not to care that i'm being awful. it's like a drug, kicking someone when they're down, esp when you consider them to be a shitty person, like they "deserve" it when it's clearly no excuse to be shitty, i'm just stooping down to their level. schadenfreude is one hell of a drug.

i'm so ashamed of this i won't even mention it in therapy, because i adore my therapist and they're such a kind, wholesome, good-natured person i'd hate for them to know what i really am. this is the first time in my life i've held back on being honest with my therapist, i usually open up quite easily even with nasty aspects of myself. so i know this is real bad. i never thought i'd be a bully or that i'd enjoy being intentionally mean online to someone, and no mental gymnastics can salvage this into letting me off the hook.

No. 324768

This so much, I'm a physician so I get to meet lots of elders and some of them are so nice, it hurts to see them deteriorate with time. When one of my patients die it hits me hard.

No. 324769

being an asshole isnt mandatory for imageboards. take a break from posting. or just hang out in threads you enjoy that arent about calling out flakes.

No. 324780

this anon has other issues since she seems to be lying to her therapist.

No. 324781

i'm this >>324765 op. i'm not necessarily lying, i'm just omitting the subject in the sessions and talking about other issues that are more pertinent atm. but it's true, i have been holding back from discussing and it's been gnawing at me for the past couple of weeks.

i've never lied to my therapist before because, well, i wanted to get better at the time and knew lying wasn't gonna do me any good.

No. 324784

>>Am I just really fucking stupid?
You're just really fucking stupid. You obviously have no idea what anorexia is really like, they /don't/ have control over their food, the food controls them. Why the fuck would you ever envy such a sad existence? I mean do you envy cancer patients too? They often get really skinny too. Get some self confidence anon jesus christ.

No. 324792

File: 1542211081485.jpeg (4.18 KB, 223x226, CC885CBB-341A-4FF6-8752-102BCC…)

I ran out of counseling sessions at my uni. My counselor recommended that I find someone in my insurance network to get more frequent and consistent care, and I’m struggling between telling my parents for support or just skulking around them and sneaking behind them to get therapy. My insurance is theirs, because I’m still a dependent under their names. Last time I asked for therapy in eighth grade and in high school, they yelled at me and called me crazy and told me to do more chores. I’ve been typing a note for google translate because we speak different languages, but I can’t ever see this going well. I know I’m going to get yelled at for needing mental help. I just want accepting parents. I shouldn’t have to feel like bawling at the thought of having to tell them “hey I want to fucking die all the time and this is the way to help me stop” only to be shut down and yelled at. I see so many of my friends and their parents are so accepting of giving them mental help or they just don’t care, and I’m like… why don’t I have that?
I hate being like this. I hate myself. Maybe it’d be better not to even talk to my parents about it because I know it can only go wrong. Any scenario i imagine of them reacting well feels like a fever dream. This isn’t me coming out as gay. This is me saying I need help to stop wanting to kill myself every day. I don’t know why they react so badly. Maybe it’s their culture. I just want their acceptance, but I know I won’t get it. I’m scared if I go behind their backs to get therapy, something is going to go wrong like I’ll incur some fine or bill I haven’t noticed and they’ll find out when our shitty healthcare system sends them a $100 bill or something for like a session of therapy. This fucking sucks

No. 324810

I go to therapy behind my parent's back and i'm still under their insurance. There's no way for you to accumulate any bills because usually you have to pay before you have your session and they don't just bill you for it like it does for a doctor. At least the therapist office I go to doesn't.

No. 324811

i hate that i have nothing to offer a partner

tbh i think most things that people think are valuable in terms of what they can offer are still kind of silly and shouldnt be so valued anyways but still, it sucks to have nothing of value for men. i just want companionship…

that's crazy. i can't imagine continually wanting to be alive and wake up. tbh i'm scared because all of the women in my family have lived to, at the lowest, 100 and i've felt so fed up with living forever. it feels like there's nothing worth accomplishing already for me and i have felt so tired for so long and it lowkey sucks that i feel i'm going to have to make the decision to off myself or be alone and breaking down physically, incapable of caring for myself at 106, etc. plus like climate scientists say we're headed toward catastrophic societal collapse very soon so i'm pretty scared tbh

No. 324835

File: 1542220650793.jpeg (121.8 KB, 1024x678, D01FB599-745F-4F03-AA11-25B6EA…)

I’m so sorry you’re facing so much backlash from your family when you’re just trying to look out for your mental health. Just curious, what culture are your parents from? I’ve been in a similar situation anon: my family comes from an Eastern European culture so mental health is stigmatized as something made up out of “boredom”.

Imo the best course of advice is to go on and see a therapist now without bringing it up and THEN disclose when you’re comfortable. “It’s easier to ask for forgiveness later than to beg for permission” is usually the approach I take on these kinds of situations. Perhaps you can do what >>324810 did, in the sense that you pay upfront rather than get a bill.

There are also centers that offer cheaper discounted counseling if the person is doing their training, or a sliding-scale program you can take advantage of. Also, no matter which route you go, you can always ask for a consultation to see if the therapist is right for you—especially when money is of concern. Wishing you all the best on whatever you choose and sending positive vibes your way!

No. 324839

This isn't some silly whim you've come up with, it's a serious health problem. You don't have to tell your parents if you have an infection or a busted ankle and you don't need to ask them for permission to look after yourself. If they're mad after the fact, that's their problem.

No. 324850

I "love" how so many "tolerant" and understanding people won't give a shit about your problems when they don't have to do with race or gender. I'm Asian American and female and if I told people because my problems were because of that, then I think I could get a sizable audience to listen to me. Or at least larger than what I have now. But since my problems honestly are not because of those and I don't want to bother lying no one gives a shit. What a joke. It also makes me annoyed at people like my cousin who think their problems MUST be because of their race because it makes such a convenient scapegoat.

No. 324874

I’m sorry you’re in this situation, anon. If your uni can’t give you anymore counseling sessions, maybe try asking them if they can at least help you find counseling elsewhere? Tell them about your parents and how you’re still under their insurance; the school counselors should be able to tell you how to receive help outside of your uni. Also, even though you’re still under your parents insurance, therapists and other health professionals are legally not allowed to tell your parents about anything (appointments, treatments, etc.) unless you give them permission. And like >>324810 said, you pay before each session, so you don’t have to worry about your parents getting a bill.

I hope everything falls into place for you, good luck!

No. 324961

File: 1542233754907.gif (946.86 KB, 150x132, X75yKcb.gif)

I hate that there's no treatment for facial acne scars to get completely rid of them, and the ones that are effectives are way too intense and expensive and can bring huge side effects or aren't very expensive but take a long amount of time to show results such as dermarolling.

I think I'm average looking and I try to not get so bothered with these scars but sometimes it's hard to not think that I'm hideous and everyone is looking at the scars thinking how gross they look (yes ik it's just me being paranoid).

No. 324984

i've always hated this too. this kind of attitude that people have toward sympathizing only in regards to racial or gender identity just comes off as fake and just pure virtue signaling. "tolerant" people often could care less about issues that are outside of identity because it's easier to just champion for race or gender and they just want to virtue signal to the whole wide world how sympathetic and progressive they are. they're phonies.

No. 325091

File: 1542240260473.jpg (54.5 KB, 449x615, 1cd70e940a242aeeed4d310d63ff89…)

I'm 23yo and lately I've been sad that im too old to dress like pic related lol, I mean I've always dress alternative so its so weird how all of the sudden cause im older I just have to stop. I know it looks ridiculous to dress like this after your teens and every farmer here thinks that and that twintails are just not for older people. But sometimes I miss these looks and I liked the way they looked on me, just wanted to vent lmao

No. 325121

girl, you're only 23, if it makes you happy go for it! you are not gonna be one of the "older people" for more than a decade, don't worry
and even when you do reach that point, i personally think that there is nothing cooler than, you know, proper adults, that still dress however they want.

No. 325127

Fuck off.

No. 325128

You sound really young and extremely new, especially since you said you first started with the Nicole Dollanganger thread. Is this your first imageboard? You need to chill out, stop taking anons seriously, and stop with the shitposting which is why you keep getting banned, in two months no less lmao. If you have nothing to contribute or if something someone says makes you mad, then you don't have to post because no matter what you say won't change anything anyway.

Usually people call each other retards and other slurs on here because someone is genuinely acting like a retard, they're not saying it to be edgy. Moral of the story is don't be an edgy retarded newfag who shitposts and has nothing to contribute.

No. 325131

Who shat in your cereal

No. 325132


No. 325135

is this an incel

No. 325139

File: 1542244875193.jpg (71.83 KB, 480x480, 1526620774007.jpg)

No. 325141

Currently drowning in depression with anxiety pushing me under every few minutes! I started this year off really trying to stay on top of myself but I slipped and haven’t been into school for bordering two weeks. I can’t stand that this has happened for a second time in a row. I feel like my university probably won’t want to let me pick up the therapy sessions that were offered because I didn’t start them since I wasn’t having issues at the beginning of the year. I’m so mad at myself and I feel doomed to fail. I have no idea where the rest of my class is in terms of work anymore and that’s pretty shitty. It’s like my mental health took a nosedive on the one week where the schedule was jam packed and now we’re in reading week so I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. Im just stuck in my flat clouded in anxiety and depression all day. FUCK!

No. 325156

I hope so because if it’s an actual woman they’re fucking pathetic. MPDG are the shittiest meme. It’s just BPD but they look cute.

No. 325211

File: 1542253383011.jpg (14.46 KB, 216x275, 1531788716740.jpg)

I've had depression for years (my tween/teen years entirely) and now I'm finally healed. However, I fell like I'm no longer in touch with my feelings. I daydream a lot too, but recently, I just don't know what to feel anymore. Like when something different happens in my life, I'm not sure how am I supposed to feel :/ If something unpleasant happens I'll jusr daydream and whatever, but I don't know how to stop anymore, like I'm no longer in touch with reality
Any anons with similar experience?

No. 325215

I'm so fucking sick of anons accusing those who disagree with them of being men, white and/or samefags.

Believe it or not multiple people can disagree with you and it's also pretty fucking disgusting to tell people that can't be of a certain race or gender because they don't have the same position as you.

No. 325216

Thank you for the reply. It’s reassuring to know about how the payment system works for your therapy; I haven’t gone to anyone outside of my uni’s counseling center so I was just really worried, but this is a relief to hear.

My parents are immigrants from a village in China. I think they believe any sort of mental illness is just ‘crazy’ and should be sorted out by the individual themselves. The stigma against mental illness always sucks… Thank you so much for your advice! I appreciate it a lot. I sat on the issue for a while and I think I agree with you. I think with my current state of mind, asking them about the issue would only worsen things for me, so I’ll just look out for myself first and check out counselors and clinics before thinking about possibly telling my parents.

You’re right. I have to look out for myself and not let their own judgment prevent me from getting treatment from a serious problem in my life. Thank you.

Thank you for the advice and well wishes! It’s reassuring to hear that you pay upfront. My uni counselor gave me the contact info of a few counselors who would be covered under my/my parents’ insurance, so I might try give them a call or email and ask. I’m hoping things will go well regardless of who or what I choose to do, haha.

No. 325222

Hey anon, that sounds like a frustrating situation. I’ve felt something similar in my life. I had depression since I was very young too, but my method of coping was mildly dissociating from stressful situations and repressing it afterwards. If I got too stressed, it kind of felt like popping out of the front seat of my consciousness- I know what’s going on, but it feels like I’m just watching myself go on autopilot as I feel nothing. It kind of sounds similar to what you’re going through. Kind of feels like we’ve forgotten how to be human because we’ve been numb for so long. I think mindfulness and grounding exercises could help. Some people say to list like five things you hear, four things you see, three things you feel, etc. Some days I wear a necklace with sharp edges so I can focus on the feeling of my fingers running on the edges when things feel too stressful or dissociate-y and eventually I feel more ‘there’. I hope this can help you a little bit. I think seeing a mental health professional can also be very helpful. I hope things work out!!

No. 325236

File: 1542254972603.jpeg (23.59 KB, 540x293, 72FDFF0E-85B7-4C50-B6A1-DB3740…)

No. 325268

Might fuck around and eat a whole box of kraft macaroni at midnight, but I'm afraid I haven't eaten healthy enough this month to earn it

No. 325276

Do it anon!
Dress how you want.

No. 325279

newfags like this tend to be really cringy and care deeply about the opinions of anons on the site.

No. 325281

>my therapist is a kind person and i'd hate for them to know who i really am
so you are lying. i think you need to leave the site forever, you sound like a fucking moron.

No. 325283

Anons therapist probably knows they’re an edgelord.
Why are there so many underage fags posting today?

No. 325294

winter break? idk. it's some platinum retard shit to hide crap from your therapist cause she's "too sweet" to know the real you. wtf are you paying the bitch for?

No. 325300

“This mental health expert who spends all day with the mentally ill could not possibly ready to deal with my cynicism and snark. I’m such a nihilist I’ll probably just make her cry and give up on life with my very very smart and unique outlook that definitely isn’t the same as every other edgy 13 year old who’s watched girl interrupted”

No. 325330

onision literally tweeteed that kek

No. 325378

A couple weeks ago I was asked out by a guy and rejected him, but now I regret it.

We've known each other for a long time (but I haven't seen him in ages), he's a bit older and I never would have thought that he sees me this way. Back then, when we hung out together his friend was sort of the mentor in a social club me and my friends were in, I was 16-18 and he early to mid twenties, so I thought I'm just a kid to him. I was so shocked when he messaged me.

The main reason I declined his invitation was, that I'm simply not attracted to him. I can't afford to have high standards because I'm not attractive and very socially awkward myself, but he definitely weighs over 150, if not 200kg, and I thought that I could do at least a little better.

However, now I regret it so much. I'm so lonely, maybe this would have been my only chance at ever getting a bf? He might be ugly, but at least he would have been a nice guy.

No. 325381

You can't fake attraction anon, someone else will come along that you like.

No. 325391

Fuck that, don't enable old fat guys who think they're too good for old fat women. You can definitely do better, alone is better than being with someone you aren't attracted to.

No. 325394


Bad idea, anon. I briefly dated a guy I wasn't attracted to, because he had a nice personality and we got on well as friends so I thought maybe I sort of owed it to him to give him a chance.

First time he kissed me he pressed up against me and I felt his belly sort of smoosh into my stomach. I nearly gagged into his mouth. Told him I didn't think we were compatible the next day.

No. 325419

Thanks for the advice anon, I didn't even know there were such thing as grounding exercising XD
I'll do further research and try to keep as an everyday practice

No. 325437

Anon I feel you but you should dress like whatever you want to, being 23 isn't a death sentence. There is a singer in my country who's in her late 60s and she dress alternative with purple hair and etc, her style and not stopping living how she likes just because of age are really cool

No. 325447

More a rant than a vent but I'm really annoyed when people only want to live in a eternal pity party state instead of going to therapy and improving their emotional and general mental problems, it feels like they only want be told what they want to hear, that they are such a ~brave and ~amazing person for example and get ass-kissing.

I've been always under the impression that these people overexaggerate or even fake their problems for attention. I know someone who's in a real concerning state with extremely narcissistic and physically, emotionally and psychologically neglecting family and never ever did a pity party for everyone to see or overexaggerate and whine about what they go through which is actually something to be worried about.

Yes it's about that insufferable acquaintance I ranted about at the annoying friends thread but I have seen some other people like this and it's so infuriating how they seem like to not want to improve their life and use their problems as excuses to get away with everything. I'm so sick of this.

No. 325449

my dad is with me every morning and doesn't leave me alone so I can't weigh my food and its really annoying me cos I'm trying to lose weight. I swear I'm not anachan I actually do need to lose weight, I binged myself into my heightest weight ever but I was anachan before so now my dad freaks out if I start dieting even though he see's how much my life has gone downhill from gaining mass weight. He threw away my old food scales and body weight scales and now I just brought more finally.

I hate the fact that when I'm 200lbs nobody says a thing about how un-healthy that is but when I diet and get skinny its EAT MORE we're ~so concerned~. FFS.

No. 325457

I mean I wouldn't let a loved one have even one beer under my watch if they were a former alcoholic. You don't have to weight food to diet.

No. 325470

Why do you have to weigh your food, that's pretty crazytown.

No. 325474

to know how many calories are in how many grams?

No. 325496

Don't pretend weighing out your meals is normal behaviour in any way.

No. 325566

>>How dare my father care about my mental health and well being!!1111
Oh the horror anon. Sounds like your father cares a lot about you. He'd be an idiot to let you weigh your food and shit by yourself when you're a recovering ana. That's like letting your recovering alcoholic father drink beer/wine on his own.

No. 325571

I know this isn't a very popular thing to say on lolcow: The reason why people don't make a stink about 200 pound women and do over anorexic women, is because anorexia is way more likely to kill you acutely. You can have an obese BMI for decades and still be alive. Can't say so for people who are literally starving.

If you're eating healthy and exercising, the food scales shouldn't be needed.

No. 325575

if you're 200 pounds you don't need to obsessively weigh and measure your food to the gram to lose weight

No. 325585

If you used to have an ED you really need to be monitored and work with a therapist to hold yourself accountable to not go full anachan, and that weighing food stuff is a major red flag.

Not to mention, if you lose weight rapidly or in an unhealthy manner, you are going to WAY screw up your metabolism. Yo yoing is very unhealthy. Its speculated its a big factor in heart disease and what not.

So please anon your dad is worried about you and we are too. I really think you need to see a counselor and talk to your doctor about a healthy, non-ed diet and exercise plan.

No. 325591

File: 1542306701492.jpg (56.3 KB, 540x387, oh boy.jpg)

>yearn for friendship
>get friend
>want to be alone again
What do I mean by this? Why do I keep doing it?
I also really want a boyfriend but I'm afraid the same would happen if I get one. I just have such limited social energy.

No. 325612

I'm sick of some anons throwing femcel and man-hater as an insult around here. I don't even know how much of a retard one can be that they equate concerns of overpopulation and a person having ten kids to man-hating and being a femcel.
Curiously, it's the anti-femcel anons that are the most vocal ones. I've just seen their compains in the /meta/
And even then, this is one of the few sites for women. If they're so worried about man haters and femcels then there's the 99% of internet with the predominant male userbase. jfc

No. 325620

Not sure if you are like me but here's what I experience:

I want friends but the mental energy I use up when spending time with them makes me feel drained before and after. It's because my anxiety peaks when I spend time with people unless we are super close.

When we aren't close, I overthink and get nervous about saying or doing the wrong thing. I try to be my best self instead of my true self which can be exhausting. It's like I can never be relaxed unless the person has crossed the threshold of being fully trusted by me.

No. 325624

I don't even know what a femcel is supposed to be. I'm certainly a man-hater and I'm pretty open about it irl but that doesn't seem to discourage any men from trying to fuck me. Sorry that you have to be a handmaiden and still can't get laid.

No. 325629


Whenever I'm open about my hatred for men it just seems to make them try even harder to fuck me. It's annoying. It's like men are all masochists who get off on being hated and degraded.

No. 325632

Hiding in the vent thread doesn't mean you are smart.

No. 325633

> I don't even know what a femcel is supposed to be

Me neither. My guess is that they're lacking arguments and their tiny brains can only come up with some cringe af term instead of backing up their claims.

No. 325634

It's the same reason why some transbians insist lesbians try to overlook genital preferences and fuck them

No. 325637

Sure Jan

No. 325638

> men are all masochists who get off on being hated and degraded

Given by how many of them crash the man hating thread and then stick around to enjoy being called names and told to die, I'm guessing they are.

No. 325640

I’ve been banned from 4chan for a few days and I don’t know how to navigate this site. Is it active here? Which boards are most active and shitpost-friendly?

No. 325641

Also is the meme about this place being filled with women true? What sort of stuff do women talk about?(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 325650

Yes I recently told my bf how disgusted I was by all the horror males have done and all the pain they still bring to the world, he took me very seriously, but it also made him super soft and kind for the rest of the day and horny right after? It just confirm that everything men say about women is just projection.

No. 325653

No, they just want to be the chad to get to fuck the men-hating feminazi and make her ~uwu ahegao~ from how much she loves their dick

No. 325663

Why do you have a boyfriend? You should dump him

No. 325667

Do we have to go #NOTALLMEN every single time?

No. 325673

Yeah, he wants to be seen as the exception. I think some men actually prefer if you hate other men, but see them as good enough to date. They think "This woman is a raging misandrist, but she thinks I'm special. She's dating and fucking me, and she despises absolutely anyone else with a dick. Other men BTFO, holy fuck. I feel great".
It's not only an ego boost, it also means you're less likely to replace him with some other guy, as your opinions of the rest of his sex are so low.

No. 325674

so, tbh, i used to agree with you, but you're fighting with the wrong people.

the #notallmen shit is only an issue when men are trying to silence women about things.

i think being obtuse and saying stuff like "men are x" or "black people are y" or "white girls" just makes you sound ignorant usually.

No. 325677


You guys also accuse everyone of being handmaidens even if we're not talking about men and just happen to not align with your shitty views.

The convo in the other thread derailed and stopped being about men, but you crazies still just want everything to be about men for some reason.

No. 325679

File: 1542316351071.gif (460.58 KB, 250x125, a1ez4.gif)

I went into a semi-expensive (but not luxury) clothes store and out of 5 employees nobody greeted me back even though I was the only customer in the store. I know I'm awkward and not very stylish but damn, you'd think I showed up in mayo-stained sweatpants. I got super uncomfortable and left quickly even though there was stuff I would've loved to actually buy. I have an ED so clothing stores in general make me anxious but I was pretty excited to shop for once. I'm feeling increasingly bummed out, am I overreacting?

No. 325681

where'd you go, rather what tier store was it? it sounds pretty shitty and i wouldn't go back, i may even write an email.

i'm in customer service so i'm usually not one to be a "let me speak to your manager type" but i know that place like that, that aren't big box stores actually put care into hiring people so it sounds like something that needs to be addressed.

No. 325683

> You guys also accuse everyone of being handmaidens even if we're not talking about men and just happen to not align with your shitty views.

lol no
who is we here?
Also, go through that thread and ctrl+f handmaiden and femcel and let the results speak for themselves.

btw handmaiden was used by anons complaining being called that way even though no one did in that thread.

Aside from the man hating thread I encounter way more anons calling others femcels when being slightest critical of men. Your points are moot and all the anons calling others femcels were aggressive and utterly rude. Like, I get it, we're on an imageboard but don't play the victim here.

No. 325684

To add, it wasn't even related to men but population so it really had nothing to do with men or women or gender wars but you called anyone who disagreed a femcel top fucking kek

No. 325689

You're not the victim either. Insults are also being thrown from your court if you didn't notice. And how are you going to speak for other anons, if you don't know how they treat people on the site. Just get over yourself and stop expecting the site to cater to you.

FFS people who thread hop to bring drama from one thread to another are always the worst people. That shit should be banned.

Not everyone on the site is going to agree with you and if your skin is so thin that you have to victimize yourself over being "harassed" on an anonymous board and bitch about a-logging then you need to leave.

No. 325690

I'm not an anon who was arguing with you, faggot.

No. 325691

That whole argument is so stupid. Nobody here is a "femcel".
When was the last time a 30-something legbeard living in her parent's basement tried shooting up people because "fertile" 16-year-old boys won't fuck her, hm? Never. Female incels don't exist.

No. 325692

> complains about being called a handmaiden
> lol grow a thicker skin if you don't want to be "harassed"

you've got a brilliant logic there retard

Also, this is a vent thread, we're allowed to vent here, right?
Or what, does it hurt your feelings too?

No. 325693

Can't name it because it'd reveal my location, whatever tier selling both Levi's and Guess (among other things) falls into. Usually I go to H&M type stores.

No. 325694

That's just kind of ignorant to say though, we have had anons on the site making "femcel" thread (unironically) and some women even confessed to wanting to actually harm men.

We also had some insane panicky anon who wanted to kill herself because she believed hyperbole and convinced herself everyone in the world seriously was out to kill or rape her cause everyone including women hate women.

I agree the insult is tossed around too much, it's the new autism on the site imo. But you shouldn't discount that it actually came from real people on the site.

No. 325695

nta but I've been accused of being a handmaiden or a man in the last vent thread on several occasions lmao. just keep your shit to your man-hater echo chamber because the people in other threads don't ascribe to your insane victim complex.

No. 325696

pointing out that you're being a hypocrite doesn't mean i actually care, i'm not the one saying i'm being harassed or oppressed.

No. 325701

That's basically what I was asking, don't worry! I think it would be reasonable for them to greet you. Especially since you were upset by it. Stuff like that will lose them customers and sales (in turn their bonuses) which sometimes they may not care about.

No. 325702

> i'm not the one saying i'm being harassed or oppressed.

I wasn't either, maybe learn2read
I said how I hated that the insult femcel and man hater is easily thrown around, not that I feel like a victim.
Considering that it was the anons calling others femcels that were most vocal about the evil man-haters, they sure did most of the name calling and they had the nerve to complain about it in the meta which is fucking hypocritical. I don't think you care so whatever. And seeing that an anon in another thread was warned for a remark that was considered man hate derailing which it was not, I wonder if this site is truly a place for girls run by girls.

Anyway, I'm done with this site.

No. 325704

You realize that there's a specific thread for bitching about men here, yeah? It's for containment like the gender critical thread, becuase when we don't allow those threads stuff happens where everyone bitches about other users who don't have the same charged opinions.

Also, I take it you're not >>325612 because she got pushed out of the unpopular opinions thread cause she was bitching about how much people keep "harassing" other poor innocent anons!
Keep up with the shit you're trying to defend.

No. 325707

ex schizo and unstable
they want to remain friends but have admitted they still love me
they want to hang all the time but idk sometimes their low mood really brings me down.

ik that removing them is probably the best thing to do but i'm pretty sure they would kill themselves and i'm scared for them.

No. 325723

File: 1542319834507.jpg (32.44 KB, 361x691, stop.jpg)

What makes a grown ass woman in her 30s attention whore in a discord vidya group full of twentysomething guys? She doesn't even play games, she just happens to be the gf of one of the members. She constantly posts exaggerated tmi sexual shit like "I just fingered myself for 2 hours my fingers are so sore guys", calls herself a slut, tells everyone else to call her a slut, posts "ironic" selfies of herself with tits out like "lol I'm an ugly whore"…

And people still talk to her. And she just makes the subject about her her her every fucking time. It's not even a vidya discord anymore, it's her shitpost discord now.

I hate how they enable her not like other gurls xDD bullshit, I'm seriously thinking of leaving. I've known these people for so long and now this bitch comes and shits up everything, god

No. 325733

I'd stay and snatch attention from her by being a reserved, quiet female human just to get her triggered, cause drama to unfold, then leave.
I once joined a server like that, entered the VC, talked a bit casually, then the "main" girl suddenly got annoyed when she noticed me, said "You're irrelevant now" and spammed the chat with some insult toward me that I can't remember to try and "bully" me into leaving. I just spammed right back because I thought it was fun. Eventually, she had an emotional breakdown, left, and reportedly messaged one of her orbiters on Skype bitching about the whole thing. It felt kind of good.

No. 325737

99.9999999999999% of the time it's the 'anti-femcel' anons that are weirdly aggressive. They can't stand having their choices critiqued or men criticized without feeling personally offended on their behalf. They feel personally attacked or something. They'll make like a million posts about it after a confrontation has ended, and then cry to mods despite being the ones that are consistently aggro when nothing calls for it. This happens basically every time, without fail. You rarely see obsessive reporting and whinging to mods from the 'femcel' bunch. It's pathetic.

Also, again, there's no such thing as a 'femcel'. Even the one or two weird anons that want to hurt men generally have either been abused or raped by them or feel powerless by them. Incels just want to hurt women because it makes their dicks hard, because us being abused is one of the most popular genres of porn and abusing us (so long as it's eroticized) is so normalized - not because we've hurt them, plus, they actually genuinely hate us. There is no equivalence. People need to stop reaching with these retarded false equivalences.

No. 325742

No. 325745

literally everything you said about "anti-femcels" can be said about people being called femcels. just stop.

also, you're turning crazy people into victims and making assumptions about them being abused to prove your point, that's ridiculous. the virgin anon who spent time on /r9k/ long enough to turn into a mirror image of them wasn't raped into bad feels. just listen to how hard you're trying to deny that one or two women can actually be that fucked up, it's not so hard to believe. not everyone needs to have some terrible tragic backstory, women aren't a collective just as much as men aren't.

not everyone on the site is radfem, not everyone on the site dislikes men or is feminist in any real manner. let it go.

No. 325749

No, it really can't. No one in the 'femcel' camp goes on meta and cries the way the 'anti-femcel' anons cry and try to get threads completely closed, topics banned, and call for the permanent banning of 'femcel' posters, so no. Def not, soz. And why don't you actually sage your shit if you're so concerned?

No. 325753

File: 1542323502210.jpg (40.84 KB, 379x254, a_560x375.w1200.h630.jpg)

My ex and I have been friends for several years now. We're cool with each other but one thing that bothers me about him is he stretches the truth sometimes.

For example, recently his number changed and when I asked him why he said he dropped it out of a helicopter (he's in the army).
Now is it possible? Yes

Did it happen to him? I think not.

Once he told me the gruesome story of how they had to search for bugs and eat them at basic ( did I mention we were having lunch?) And someone died while he was there.
How much of that is true? I'm not feeling 100%.

Another time he said our manager at work was a twin. Later I asked the manager and laughed and said ex was lying.

I could go on but I think he does this to impress me. I say that because even tho I broke up with him a long time ago he still has feelings for me and he acknowledged this.

Do any of you have friends or know someone who does this? What did you do about it?

No. 325759

I was posting in the confessions thread but here might be better. I broke up with a girl I had been dating for 4 years about two years ago now. It was definitely the right choice, we were living in different states and had both changed a lot since we'd gotten together. the thing is I still miss her. I don't want us to get back together or anything but I miss feeling like someone really cared about me. I feel awful about it but I wish this was still affecting her as much as it is me. I feel like a pathetic horrible person

No. 325761

that's a load of shit. both parties constantly get banned on meta for infighting forever. manhate anons constantly shit up other threads to "defend" themselves, they bitch about people being handmaidens even when no one mentions men, they act like the entire site is some kind of manhating radfem stomping ground despite most of us just wanting to chill. in every relationship advice thread there are always people telling anons to "dump him" regardless of what the anon said about the guy.

you guys are a disease.

No. 325764

This. All of them are constantly derailing light conversation to the point where they need their own thread to satisfy them. Any time anyone tries to say anything that has to do with men that's not blatantly hateful, they shit up the conversation.

No. 325766

I've always thought it was ironic how the same people who hate men have simultaneously managed to turn most discussions here into being about men. Can't we just have a space for women where we don't have to think about men constantly?
Ditto for racebaiting.

I come here for downtime and entertainment, not to constantly have race, gender, and politics rammed down my throat. If I wanted that, I would just keep to my Facebook feed.

No. 325769

File: 1542327835864.jpg (31.85 KB, 600x600, 95.jpg)

not to be wacky but i'm lonely and touch-starved and i wanna be loved and told nice things but every guy i meet is either unattractive or has no fucking clue how to be affectionate and meet my needs. probs just me being picky but whew does it sting

No. 325770

Agreed. /ot/ used to be comfy and we didn't have all of this, now every time anyone says anything it gets turned into some charged pissfest. I almost believe a lot of these types are actually men themselves.

No. 325774

Compulsive liar shit, fuck that dude. I knew someone who would do the same thing, but frame his lies in such a way that nobody would really try to investigate further. Most notably, I remember at a party once he started telling people another friend he brought that we didn't know, had a brain tumor and mere months to live (but keep it hush because he himself hadn't told others about it!)
Bullshit, dude was in perfect health. There was nothing to gain from that except… needless and misplaced sympathy?

We all just tried to distance ourselves because there was no sense of right and wrong to appeal to in him. Then he died of an OD. So the issue cleared itself up, so to speak. Good luck with yours though.

No. 325776

what does breaking/losing his phone have to do with his number changing? you can keep your number and get a new phone. what a fucking retarded lie.

No. 325780

I ghosted my therapist and I’m trying not to feel bad about it. Seriously the only reason I feel guilty is because I know ghosting is rude but she was awful! She picked me up because she worked in the same building as my phychologist and saw me in the waiting room regularly. I guess it didn’t matter to her that she specialises in eating disorders and addictions when I’m a diagnosed borderline with adhd. She was clearly in over her head the first visit but I went again because she said she had some really good ideas, seemed nice enough, and I need therapy desperately while I’m away at school. I went again three times and told her I needed a referral to a place that can give me dbt she said each time that she needed more time to get to know me to figure out how best to deal with my situation. The fifth visit she said “I’m going to give you some numbers for different mental health charities you can work with because you seem super interested in mental health” that pissed me off because I don’t really care about mental health in general I have just been diagnosed with an illness that has been pretty apparent since I was 14 (My at home mental health team officially diagnosed me with borderline at 19 but have been holding off on the diagnosis even tho it’s been speculated since 16) and was obviously talking to an individual whose job it was to treat MY MENTAL ILLNESS . Then my mom let it slip that it was costing her £200 for each 60 minute visit. This woman absolutely scammed the fuck out of me and my family. I didn’t respond to her texts about planning more meetings or asking if I was still going to come in because she had a waiting list. I feel a little bratty about it but seriously she acted like a life coach not a licensed professional.

No. 325798

File: 1542337497346.png (359.56 KB, 1920x1080, Ochaco's_Memory.png)

im so sad. i feel like i have no right to be, things aren't the worst, but they kind of suck. Me, my little brother, and my sister all got in separate car accidents recently. All of them were the other driver's fault. My sister also got scammed by an elaborate thing going around her company that her coworkers were aware of but did not tell her. My mom and my dad separated when I was a child and I didn't feel bad about that as I knew they were unhappy but he has been married to my step mom for a couple of years. He works two jobs and always offers my and my brother financial support even if he's down. My brother just told me my dad might get divorced next month and shes going to get the house. My mom has problems with her teeth and I know she is in pain but insurance won't cover what she needs and that costs thousands we don't have. I wish I can just win the lottery and buy them the things they deserve as they worked so hard to be loving parents and support us and to help my family. I work, and I help my mom out with rent and everything but everyone is so tired and I feel like this year has been crashing down on us.

No. 325799

im legitimately so lonely i want to die

No. 325802

yeah get the fuck away from that snatch and find a legit DBT therapist. Don't feel bad. That is absolutely unprofessional. OpenPathCollective helped me to find affordable therapy through their service and website, but I don't know if they are just U.S. or also Europe.

Either way, I'd just go looking for whatever resource you can find listing available DBT specialists.

No. 325806

File: 1542340387270.jpg (54 KB, 720x381, IMG_20181115_224707.jpg)

I legit stumbled upon this bullshit tweet and I just don't understand how people can be this gross. Associating any job you with prostitution is a new low, even for a 'sex positive' thot.

No. 325807

any job you work*
(sorry for mobile typo)

No. 325809

File: 1542341447911.png (225.03 KB, 384x482, 1446297603599.png)

I feel like committing sudoku for being such a retard.
My college classes were cancelled today because there are a lot of fires where I live right now and the air quality is really bad. So I assume this one quiz will be cancelled today, despite the quizzes being online they are usually password-locked to prevent cheating. But this time it was unlocked due to the class cancellation, problem is I missed the deadline because I didn't know it was still happening and now it's locked. It's one of those classes where the quizzes are worth a shitton of points too.
I hope the professor is understanding. It'll probably turn out okay since he was talking about dropping the lowest quiz score anyways but I hate this feeling of anxiety.

No. 325822

Wow I need to either stop drinking or throw my phone into the woods for good, I post so much dumb and unnecessary shit on every groupchat I'm in before blacking out and once again I really want to kms after checking my phone this morning.
Guess I'll have to continue on drinking to save myself from this embarrassment.

No. 325831

I'll probably regret posting this but yolo
Today I had a tough day, and I ~think~ I did something shitty.
I have this whiny friend who complains all the time about every aspect of her life (particularly about how she hates her body or how she doesnt have any real friends lmao completely ignoring my own person right here ofc), and sometimes she's fucking insufferable, other times I just feel sorry for her bc she's showing early signs of depression, but she's also one of those people that'll never seek professional help, no matter how many fucking times you insist.
We only communicate by facebook because we live in different cities atm (we were friends in high school).
Right now I'm in a hospital with my mom who's losing her memory and doesn't even remembers me anymore most of the time, and she knows about but she's never even asked about my mom or about me, she just complains all day long as usual, so today during one of rants I told her smth like "jfc ____, y dont u get a twitter account", so she started ranting again saying how she didn't expect that from me, how friends are supposed to be there for you in every situation etc etc. I admit I felt pretty shitty, bc I know how it is to feel depressed an alone, so I definetly felt like an asshole and I hated it, I immediately apologized and now everything's good again.
Right now I don't know exactly how I feel, am I a bad person? She's my friend and having a hard time, I did wrong by telling her off, but you see, I really really really can't stand complaining :/ like, it's pointless and annoying, esp if the person complains all day long, everyday

No. 325832

Samefag, but I'm sorry about bad grammar and paragraphing, it's looking hideous

No. 325838

I had a friend like that in high school, even when I was being kicked out of my home because of a shity situation, she completely discounted my problem and just immediately started talking about her own. I got angry with her but we patched it up and stayed friends for four more years, I hated every single one of them. It was the same thing every single day. Endless complaining and bitching and trivializing my problems until I snapped and cut her off and I've had a great life ever since.

People like that don't change, it's not up to you to babysit them through life And depression. And I know how it feels to lose someone to dementia, it's an absolutely gut-wrenching thing and I'm very sorry that you have to go through it too. You don't need to babysit your friend while you're losing your own mother to one of the worst things that can happen to a person. Care about yourself first.

No. 325839

File: 1542352681809.jpeg (92.81 KB, 1387x702, 8f4.jpeg)

I think that you snapping at her because you're going through a hard time and she's being oblivious doesn't make you an asshole.
But what could've prevented you from snapping at her is if you confronted your annoyance with her earlier instead of waiting to bring it up for the first time when you're emotionally volatile. If she's too much to deal with maybe it's time to let the friendship go, but if you think it's worth maintaining, it's up to both of you to communicate better. Instead, it seems like you've just tried to ignore it even though it bothers you, which just leads to resentment and lashing out when you don't want to.
I really don't think you should lose sleep over this because you didn't do anything terrible. This is a really normal experience in relationships imo. It's hard to know when you're making a healthy compromise vs when you're smothering your needs, and sometimes there's no way to find out without a hiccup like this. I would just see it as a learning experience. Tough times have revealed that you can't just ignore her annoying tendencies forever, so you have to either fix them or stop being friends.

No. 325842

She sounds kinda toxic… I have struggled with this and its really hard to get over. It does hurt knowing I've lost people because of it, but i had to step the fuck up and start realizing no one is responsible for my dysfunctions and we pay therapists for a reason. And I've also had people who were worse than me, which is one of the things that started making me snap out of it.

Boundaries are a healthy and useful thing, anon. If you feel its worth a shot do what other anon suggested and try to gently but firmly approach the subject. If she reacts as badly to you trying that approach well you have your answer.

Tbh though… The last person i had around me that was worse? I just couldn't continue to talk to her for my own mental health. I just quietly faded away and tbh she just sorta got bored and didn't care after awhile. i checked up on her recently and she's not…too much different but she's better. She didn't kill herself or anything, which was my worst fear.

So yeah don't be afraid to do what you gotta do.

No. 325864

You should address the issue instead of letting it get to a point where you snap, but I think she's being a shitty friend to you too, mutual support is really important.

No. 325875

This is such a stupid thing but I really need to get it out of my system. I'm ESL so I apologize for my weird English.
Anyway, yesterday at like 11PM, I was coming home from work and I took the train as usual. I had my bike with me and I was going to get off at the next stop so instead of finding a seat I just stood next to the train doors. There was another girl standing in the same area as me, she looked about 20, shaved head, kind of edgy clothing, fiddling with her phone and listening to music with big headphones. She made eye contact with me but then turned her back to me and stood in the corner facing the wall, whatever, I didn't think anything much of her.
Then she suddenly just peed everywhere.
I heard the sound of like, running water? so I looked up at her to see wtf was going on and she was just literally standing there and piss was just dripping down her legs onto the train floor. And there was a lot of it. Like it wasn't an accident, because there was a toilet right next to us and it wasn't taken so she could've just used the toilet if she needed to go. She literally took a huge leak right there on the train floor, right in front of me like it's no big deal. Her clothes got completely soaked too. Realizing what was happening, I obviously moved the fuck away from her, at which point she walked the opposite direction, switching train cars so I lost the sight of her.
I don't think anyone else saw what happened. I had to step over the puddle of pee to get off the train at my stop but I saw people stepping right into it and one guy even crouched down to tie fucking his shoelaces right in the gigantic wet spot, like dude can you not smell that it's pee? Why would you step in it? I wanted to say something but I couldn't, I was so shocked I literally just froze.
And now I can't stop thinking about it. The very first thought that came to me when I woke up was just the image of her standing there and peeing, almost like an intrusive thought, it just keeps popping back up.
She didn't seem drunk or anything, she just kinda did it really nonchalantly, so I suspect it was maybe some sort of watersports kink or something.
It's such a stupid thing to be so bothered by but I honestly feel really disgusted and shocked.

No. 325881

That’s pretty fucked up and disgusting. I’d be shocked and disgusted for a while too. It sounds almost nightmarish really since that scenario sounds unreal.

No. 325884

Thanks for validating my feelings, when I told my friends about it they just kind of brushed it off as something kinda gross but mostly just funny.
>It sounds almost nightmarish really since that scenario sounds unreal
The moment the guy started tying his shoelaces was the moment where I started doubting my sanity like, is this really happening? Is this a prank? Am I on candid camera? I guess that's exactly what made it feel so traumatic almost, it was such a strange, unreal situation.

No. 325887

>Not to mention, if you lose weight rapidly or in an unhealthy manner, you are going to WAY screw up your metabolism. Yo yoing is very unhealthy. Its speculated its a big factor in heart disease and what not.
I'm way beyond that. I've been losing and gaining mass amount of weight in impossibly short periods of time since I was 16 and I'm 21 now. I never learn but I'm really really trying to get down from 200lbs and to a good weight properly this time once and for all but its really really hard, trynna force myself to eat proper meals. It's all or nothing.

No. 325889

That is really creepy and I don't blame you for being completely shocked by it. I'd be repulsed and super weirded out too. I have had creepy similar things happen to me and I wind up thinking about them for the next few days until I make myself sick. Luckily it fades quickly.

No. 325898

Weird question anon, but do you live in Finland? Everything from the description of the train and its interior, to the weirdass people who travel by train, to the nonchalance of the bystanders and the effort expended to pretend they didn't see anything sounds a lot like one of the airport trains in Helsinki.

No. 325899

Weird question anon, but do you live in Finland? Everything from the description of the train and its interior, to the weirdass people who travel by train, to the nonchalance of the bystanders and the effort expended to pretend they didn't see anything sounds a lot like one of the airport trains in Helsinki.

No. 325907

How to grow a backbone?

My family is a lot more religious than I am and it annoys me so much. Just now I - again - had to listen to some videos of priests singing because my mother found it so awesome; when she comes home from church she always talks about how goosebump-inducing and touching it was and I. Just. Don't. Care.

The worst thing is, my brother is studying to be a priest. It never bothered me, I was always supportive of him, but even my little sister already noticed that this put him in the number 1 spot in the eyes of my mom. No matter what, I couldn't compete. I mean, as a woman I couldn't even do the same, even if I wanted…
I love my brother, even though he treats me like shit. He's a raging misogynist, has zero empathy and the rare times he messages me or visits home he uses to call me fat. I'm just 1 year older, but have been taking care of him since I'm old enough to remember. But I get nothing (but mean jokes) in return. His relationship with my father is bad, so my mother - no matter what he does or says - is tiptoeing around him, never scolding him, always trying to please him. But of course he shows zero gratefullness. The funny thing is, he still thinks that my parents treat us girls better than him. They don't and even if, maybe it's because we're nice?

Like I said, I do believe in god, but I don't want to spend the whole weekend while he's home talking about religious things or about all those "shitty feminazi sluts" he encounters while in uni.

We're not american, yet he always says, he as a white straight male is made out to be the biggest evil. As a priest, somebody who's attracted to nobody, is he even straight? The refugee situation is really bad there I live, but instead of hating on them, he puts the majority of the blame on all women, because it's somehow their fault that they let them in.
It somehow went over is head that I spent my teenage years starved, he still calls me fat, he once even made up the lie that his friends said I look slutty for wearing shorts and a crop top, when I just regained the confidence to wear short clothes.
The day before my birthday he brought me to tears with his comments, my mom said nothing. On my birthday he said the same. Then, I grabbed his stomach, saying you're not the skinniest either. He totally loses it ("You have no right to touch me!!!") and finally my mother said something. He then spent the rest of the day sulking in his room.
Like I mentioned already, he and my father can't stand each other. And because of that the last 4 years I spend christmas eve crying myself to sleep because of them fighting. I'm way too old to give so much fucks and be so sensitive about what others say.
The whole situation puts me into a dilemma: one word to my father about what he always does to me and my sister, and I would get my "revenge", but on the other hand it would sadden my mother a lot to see them fight again. She always stands between them and I don't want to hurt her.
The only time I ever fought back was because I couldn't take his period-comments anymore. I kicked it to the shin (and my mother saw…) and he started raging again. He doesn't understand that words can hurt too.
Our friends always said I should just slap him, because they witnessed how he treats me, but knowing him, he would just hit back stronger.

Sometimes I wish I didn't love him so much. I shouldn't treat him that well, but whenever I see him I'm still happy. I'm so stupid.

Another thing that shows that I'm a hopeless doormat is, that whenever my boss asks me to help out, even if I don't really have time, I always say yes. It literally feels like I'm frozen and I just here myself say "Sure, of course I can". Ugh.

No. 325915

Lmaooo I do! Nice sleuthing anon. But it wasn't one of the airport trains, it was an R train from Helsinki to Tampere. And I mean yeah, I've seen some weird shit on that train since I take it every day but this piss incident really was something else even by Finnish standards.

No. 325925

Every time my friends start dating or making new friends, I get the irrational fear that they’ll abandon me for someone better just because that seemed to be a running trend in my life before college. it makes me feel like a shitty person because while yes, I’m so happy for them and that this makes them happier, my knee jerk reaction is “oh great, they’re going to forget all about me again.” It feels so petty and possessive. I’m so used to being left out and left behind and forgotten that I probably end up pushing them away anyway lmao… maybe I’m just jealous

No. 325926

Thanks anon, and I am so sorry about your loss :/
It is indeed tiring sometimes because she can't see the double standards of her thoughts/actions, claims everybody is mean and can't stand her while she can't really see anyone but herself

I completely agree that I should've told her before instead of just ignoring, but the thing is that I'm a super chill person, I usually don't think too much about annoying things (and I don't get easily annoyed), but it was different this time, I just didn't catch up in time :(

It's just useless to try and explain to her that I'm not her personal twitter account, because she always rants about how friends NEED to listen to each other at all times, while she can't keep a healthy friendship because they usually get tired of her. I just feel really bad that she's becoming depressive, but at the same time I'm kinda stupid cos she doesn't give a damn about me :/

No. 325973

your brother is a cunt, why is he even studying to be a priest when he acts like this?

>I kicked it to the shin (and my mother saw…) and he started raging again

you assaulted him, of course hes going to be fucking mad, if hes really as awful as you say then avoid him instead of provoking him by starting physical violence, it only escalates from there. youre only putting yourself in danger.

No. 325977

Dumb, but there's a couple in my math class and every time I see them I get kind of jealous. They seem close and he's so small, I wish I had a petit and respectful bf.

No. 326028

taking long breaks from social media makes me feel better, aside from the fact that FOMO creeps up and all my friends still use social media.

but then when i log in i just start feeling annoyed again.

catch-22 i guess.

No. 326029

that sounds like a really unnerving situation, clearly that person was out of their mind. but it's possible the guy didn't notice at all. it's pretty amazing how you can miss seemingly obvious things when your mind isn't there. i've had plenty of situation where i accidentally stepped in something gross and had no clue until later and similar.

No. 326035

yea i had a similar thing where randomly stepping and standing in it was how I found out my toddler pissed on the floor and I was so tired it took me a moment to register. So it could've just been a spacey moment.

No. 326036

What the fuck is wrong with your country?

No. 326046

Another Finn here, I've been traveling by commuting trains a lot for years and I've never seen anything like that happen. Quite the contrary actually, the trains are usually peaceful and orderly. But I can imagine it taking place in the airport train line the other anon mentioned because it travels in a non-stop circle so a lot of drunken teenagers and drug addicts get on just to have a place to stay at as you can access the trains without a ticket and they don't really enforce a lot of surveillance over it. Especially during night time and late hours.

Bottom line we have the same sort of crazies any other big city does. I'm guessing the girl taking the piss was on drugs or had a mental problem. Or a watersports kink. I don't really want to know and I wish I'll never experience it.

No. 326049

oh shut the fuck up, people pissing on public transport happens in america too. scandinavians just have a culture of "don't make a scene" that isn't like the west. but even then the bystander effect happens in the west too. it's not that weird.

No. 326059

Scandinavia is not part of the West? What?

No. 326064

stop being pedantic you know that i meant 'murca and canada

No. 326070

>Equating only North America with "The West"
>Omg stop being pendantic you know what I meant!!
NAYRT but I think you need to relax anon, yeah people pissing on the train happens everywhere but it's still weird as fuck and unusual.

No. 326071

Sooo this gonna be a little different than most things on this thread, but I was reading this story on wattpad and it was a hot mess? Some girl who gets bullied by the brother of her dead best friend and this dude has done some heinous shit to her (including attempted rape), and yet there are people rooting for him in the comments section. All this guy had to do was give some sob story about being the black sheep of the family and that makes him daddy goalz apparently. Every girl spamming heart emojis in the comments section is brain dead. There's no other explanation for what I saw. The bar is officially 10,000 feet below the sea level.

Anyway, here's an idea for a thread, if it hasn't been done yet: shitty wattpad fics.

No. 326078

i mean, you're reading stories on wattpad. i'm not saying you're wrong, because that does sound weird as hell, but it's wattpad.

No. 326094

There are some gems buried in the shit even on wattpad. And hey, I like indulging in a trashy, poorly written cliche once in a while. Then I stumble upon something like this. It's not even the story itself, I'm just astounded that there are people reading this kind of thing that don't see anything wrong with it and I'm not talking about 2-3 people, I'm talking 50+ comments like that on each chapter. But, you know, wattpad.

No. 326096

Original pisstrain anon here.

Yeah I figure he thought the floor was just wet from rain or whatever. It wasn't raining yesterday, but it's been raining everyday lately so the train floors being wet is nothing unusual.

Yep, it was pretty late too so he could've been tired from work or whatever, I know I was.

Even though Finland admittedly is a pretty strange country, crazies exist everywhere. Pissing yourself on public transport is not considered normal or acceptable behavior here, lmao.

I've seen plenty of weird shit on trains but I get out of work really late, so I blame the time. The crazies always come out at night. She seemed so calm about it though like nothing about her seemed like she was on anything, or even like nervous or distressed about it. Admittedly I only saw her face before she did it so I don't know what her expression was like when she realized I saw her do it. I'm not 100% sure she knew I was there either? She saw me enter the train for sure because we made eye contact, but after that she had her back to me the whole time and she was listening to music on her headphones, so maybe she assumed I had gone to the seating area which is further away from the doors? I don't know man, I'd rather think that she thought she was alone than that she did it knowing I was witnessing it.

The "don't make a scene" thing is very real but I honestly think no one else saw it happen. The seats are further away from the door area and all the other passengers were over there. So when they walked to the doors to get off the train and saw the wet floor, they assumed it was water or someone had spilled their drink or whatever. It smelled like piss though, but since there was a toilet in the same area, maybe they figured that's where the smell was coming from?

Sorry for dragging out this pointless conversation but talking about it helps me process it. I already feel less bothered by it, I even laughed at anon correctly guessing the country.

No. 326099

File: 1542396140922.jpg (47.66 KB, 1920x1080, mufasa.jpg)

Sometimes I think about how I'm descended from badass warrior kings and shit yet I'm a weak loser who cries all the time, has daily panic attacks, and sprained her wrist opening a coffee jar the other day. I just feel like these super old dead guys would be disappointed in me, and I wouldn't blame them. I suck.

No. 326106

You sound awfully defensive, also tard, Scandinavia is the West, arguably more than North America.

No. 326121

don't worry anon. more of your ancestors were retarded peasants that shit outside and died of syphilis than warrior kings. everyone's are.

comparatively, you're doing fine.

No. 326141

I got harassed on the street and it made me have a complete breakdown in public and like why? Why are people like this? I was in a good mood. I was just trying to live
my life.

The highlight is a nice man that looks almost exactly like Steve Buscemi talked me down and was nice but still…

I've been trying to stop being almost a hikkomori and that didn't help. I'm afraid to go out again. :/

No. 326142

We're siblings, we sometimes still do hit each other. That's not "assault".
I was simply feeling desperate, no matter what, he just wouldn't stop, so I lightly hit him. Is that really so bad?

No. 326169

Why are you still hitting you sibling as an adult? You both sound super weird and childish.

No. 326171

Are you trying to paint me as the evil one now?

No. 326174

you're both equally retarded. why are grown ass adults trying to resolve conflicts by kicking each other like they're 5 years old?

No. 326181

Because he simply doesn't listen. I could tell him a 100 times to stop laughing about me, insulting me or yelling at me, it never works. That one time I simply snapped.

No. 326184

Look I get your brother is a dick but you have to figure out healthier coping methods than kicking him, grabbing him or taunting him, because honestly it sounds like that would be the only excuse he needed to really hurt you. If you can't ignore him, can you walk away? Go to your room or outside of you have to.

No. 326207

I'm beginning to feel like its never going to get better. I'm 22, my mental health is shit and the only people I'm really in contact with are my parents and a few internet friends. I'm still in collage cause things got bad enough that I had to take time off. I'm really tired of pushing through feeling awful and barely managing to do the things I need to. Idk at this point maybe i should just drop out and work some shitty job or eventually kms

No. 326212

i want a relationship but don't like the idea of going out to "try" people by dating them to see if i like them because what if it's a huge waste of time? i wish i could be guaranteed a nice partner who'd stay faithful to me. ugh

No. 326225

I dunno if I should get my neglected witch hair cut today and styled or wait till I lose more weight

No. 326232

AT least they leave you alone, I hate shopping because they follow me around

No. 326233

SHe's a fetish exhibitionist, that's how they convert people, get help

No. 326247

w-what does losing weight have to do with a haircut?

is that a goal weight gift to yourself?

No. 326261

File: 1542429806184.jpeg (Spoiler Image, 136.55 KB, 700x869, B4121070-2564-4C41-ADFF-FD4D6D…)


anon please get a haircut, the hairstylists don’t care about your weight and only really wanna cut your hair

it’ll just get worse if you ignore it. if you are afraid of being judged at a salon, try super cuts where it’s usually just older ladies who chat about their grandkids’ hobbies as they trim off your split ends and then you can walk out with smooth hair and feel like a brand new anon.

image spoiler for what happens to hair due to depression neglect

No. 326281

File: 1542438439463.png (559.83 KB, 707x1000, 3C4EDBFC-B4B2-4A8D-8621-D40486…)

I’m so sick and tired of being disordered and fucked up. I sound like a tumblr piece of shit even talking about it but I have BPD, HPD, and PTSD along with body image shit, professionally diagnosed. I always feel like I’m putting on an act. I’m promiscuous, loud, and basically an attention whore when I’m not purposely trying to keep myself quiet. The only thing keeping me together is my boyfriend whom I love dearly and afaik, our relationship is healthy and he keeps me together mostly but, fuck. I know people in group chats are weirded out by me and some have me blocked. I can’t even describe my personality without using demeaning terms and stuff. I’ve done awful shit for attention in the past which got me to a level of infamousy on some not so great places, I’m trying to get away from it all but it STILL haunts me and things still happen to me from it. I wanna be at least somewhat normal. I’m the epitome of a red flag in a woman and it breaks me.

No. 326295

I had a miscarriage a few days ago. It was only 6 weeks into the pregnancy but I feel like I could've done something to prevent it from happening. I was really looking forward to becoming a mom but now I don't know if I'll ever become one.

No. 326296

File: 1542442613921.jpg (585 KB, 780x879, 1535338086027.jpg)

My boyfriend told me about his ex gfs. I felt hurt, mostly because I realized how shit I was. I went home and stalked them all on his account and they are all attractive. He said that one of them was really helpful, smarter than me, hardworking in school, and wholesome deep down. I am not wholesome deep down, I am a very troubled person and he knows it. I don't work hard in school because I'm depressed and unmotivated. I smoke, self harm, get into fights, everything that he basically hates and hes still with me. Feel as if i'm just his last resort.
It just hurt to hear these things.

No. 326304

if your bf is straight up telling you his exs are better you need to dump him. your mental health will only get worse by being with someone who shits on you.

No. 326305

File: 1542444638942.png (1.07 MB, 704x528, 1539595891839.png)

He only said that she was smarter than me, the attractive-ness is decided by me. You just know where you're lacking when you compare yourself to someone else and thats the case for me.
Sometimes, I don't know if he even loves me at all. I bring him gifts everyday, buy him coffee and meals, tell him how much I care for him and compliment him, go out of my way to make his life easier and he has not done a single thing like that for me. I've confronted him about it and he apologized and said he just doesn't know how, but I think if you truly loved someone you'd just know deep down and try in your own way. But he isn't even trying.
He's leaving in a month for 8 months again, he left 8 months before too. So I'd be waiting for him for 16 months total. I don't know if its worth it anymore but I love him a lot. I don't ask for much.

No. 326306

You don't ask for much, but you do want the same level of reciprocation that you give to your bf (ie. small gifts, cute gestures of affection, etc) that he cannot give to you. Anon, he's leaving for 8 months.. again? I think you should really reconsider your relationship with him.

No. 326307

I don't want much, as in he could at least compliment me which he never does. Just anything, just pay for my meal just once. He never does and never makes plans. I complain yet I stay, so really it's my problem. Just too hopeful.
We talk things out everything theres something wrong but no matter how many times I talk to him about this nothing changes. Really want things to work.
And he's leaving for work, I can't hold him back because he needs a good future. Again, just sucks.

No. 326313

Why are you doing this? If you're a woman in your early twenties you are wasting your life god damn

No. 326327

File: 1542447592957.jpeg (128.99 KB, 580x580, m_5b846ff403087c40493195a0.jpe…)

He's not going to change, no matter how much you hope or tell him. Sigh.

No. 326330

Unless you're leaving out a lot of information your boyfriend sounds like a piece of shit, sorry anon. He won't change suddenly, and it'll only get harder to bear over time.

No. 326331

i looked at the pic before reading your post and regret everything.

i'm really sorry to hear that anon. please take care.

No. 326335

there's this guy at my work who is really funny and exceptionally nice and I swear we have the same personality but I'm at this time a fat piece of shit who is also extremely awkward around guys and so I completely ignores him which I'm sure comes off as rude. I hate me, I really do. If only I had met him at better time.

No. 326342

You can be nice to people even when you are ugly wtf. If you want to date him or something you can also do that when you're not a fat piece of shit, just make friends with them now and see if thing's change with time.

No. 326351

careful neglecting your hair anon, you definitely don't want to deal with a matted clump. I had a matted mess in the back of my hair a few years ago. Once it gets matted, it is either impossible to fix or hella difficult. I mean I tried for a week, everyday drenching it in oil and trying to get some of the knots out, for freaking hours. I gave up and cut it out, I could get away since I have long, thick hair. But it sucks all around, take care of you hair!

Don't let being fat keep you from what you want outta life. Just sayin, I'm a fatty too, but it'll only hold you back as much as you let it (other than like running a marathon lmao). You gotta let that hate go (or work to lose weight), at the end of the day a lot of guys don't give a fuck if you're fat, as long as you're a cool chick. Quit outright ignoring him, be your awkward fat self or start making a change in yourself. Don't focus on your self-loathing, it's nothing but a waste of time anon

No. 326366

File: 1542454546644.png (96.64 KB, 230x258, tfw.png)

I've been in abusive relationships with family/friends/significant others my entire life. Think I'm just super used to letting this happen and being walked over.
I keep thinking that if I were better to him he will eventually realize what he has and show his love for me. Like if I was a 10/10 he would try so hard but because I'm not all that great he has nothing really to lose.

No. 326368

Please leave him for real :(

No. 326371

File: 1542455286434.jpg (584.81 KB, 768x768, 1526279318531.jpg)

Really should.. but honestly there is nothing else wrong with our relationship. We trust eachother, we share interests and moments with one another, its just that he can't show affection. I'm worried that by breaking up with him I'm being irrational and that it would be simply out of some insecurity. It really boils down to that.
Sorry if this is annoying to hear as I'm sure lots of other girls say stuff like this but damn, I love him too much to leave.

No. 326376

Without affection sounds like a friendship. Also if someone said their ex was smarter than me fuck I’d be pissed. Doesn’t matter if she is he had no right to bring it up, plus it doesn’t even matter? He should love you for who you are and it doesn’t sound like he does :(

No. 326377

He came up to me last week just mucking around, he said something to me, I stared at him and said nothing then went back to what I was doing. Kms. Thats the level of social retardation I'am on around guys. I just don't know what to say back cos I don't want guys to think I like them or they'll make fun of me.

No. 326385

>I just don't know what to say back cos I don't want guys to think I like them or they'll make fun of me.
That's a dumb way to think anon. No sane person will think that someone has the hots for them just for speaking. Just treat him like you would a normal person.

No. 326393

My father is a controlling hoarder. Whenever I visit him I have to follow lots of stupid rules like no feet on the sofa, no charging stuff after 6 even though I'm a fucking adult. what bewilders me is the fact that he has so many stupid rules yet his flat is a goddamn pig sty. Old newspapers stacked up on the floor, the constant scent of rotting food, dust everywhere, flies everywhere, mice sometimes. He's really old though so I can't stop visiting him, and he won't change. Visiting him is so bad for my mental health but like I said I can't stop visiting him because he's old and he lives alone. No one but me contacts him. Idk what else to say tbh it just sucks ass big time.
(This is very inarticulate)

No. 326401


Not to armchair diagnose but he sounds like he has OCD, anon. A lot of hoarders do.

I have OCD too but mine is the opposite type (no clutter anywhere) and I'm fully aware I'm a fucking pain in the ass to live with because of all my stupid hang-ups and irrational rules. It's why I live alone.

No. 326409

I'm sick of people sexualizing chokers. I'm not going to stop wearing them for anything, but all those gross things men say about a "black belt in blowjobs" or "She wants you to choke her" annoy me. It's even more irritating when women jump on the bandwagon, calling chokers "dd/lg attire". How fucking dumb can you be? They don't even originate from BDSM or fetish culture, aristocrats in Europe and some of the world's oldest civilizations used to wear them as accessories. Why do men have to relate everything women do, down to having exposed feet or their hair in a bob cut, back to their penises? It can't be helped if they just "admire" them from afar, but to go as far as actually denigrating the girl or woman who wears them as a "slut" because of their own reaction to a fucking neck accessory is just too much.

Fuck off, chokers are cute, they make my neck/collarbones look pretty, I've liked them ever since I was a kid with an obsession with Mew Mew Power, and I refuse to let anyone try to take that away.

No. 326415

tbh this shit is why I hate men, they sexualise everything a woman does. I'm into girls and the only thing I think when I see a girl wearing a choker is that she looks cute and has a little style. No one cares about fucking dicks.

No. 326419

>but to go as far as actually denigrating the girl or woman who wears them as a "slut" because of their own reaction

That's a general problem with men. No empathy, all projection.

No. 326421


Men project on to women a lot.

I used to hang out on Reddit's askwomen sub and every few days a man would ask what hobbies/clothes/jobs are attractive to women. The commenters would say, just wear or do whatever you enjoy, don't pick your hobbies or your clothes or job based on what's attractive to women.

And every time the man would say, but I pick everything in my life based on that. Everything I do is based on whether women will find me attractive if I do it.

Men's whole lives revolve around women. That's why they don't understand that we don't live that way and just pick our clothes and hobbies based on our own desires. They are obsessed with us and it hurts them that we are not obsessed with them.

No. 326424

I kinda doubt this, if that is the case they do a terrible job of being appealing. Just see how the average straight man dresses.

No. 326431

NTA, but I agree with that anon. I think that's because they don't pay attention to us and what we like, they pay attention to what other men say about us and what we like.
That method doesn't work because in almost all things, men let their narcissism, low empathy, and stubbornness take over. They think women should like the same things they personally like (so, their poor taste in clothing, disgusting habits, lame interests, latent homosexual attraction to extremely muscular men etc should be the same things to make them Chads in our eyes - after all, their preferences are "The Best", objectively). When that delusion is broken, instead of actually changing themselves (or just letting it go and living life, hoping they'll find someone who does share their interests), they get upset. They either start insisting women's standards are "too high", or they claim we must be mistaken about ourselves, finally resting on "You don't know what you want". They'll continue listening to other men, and getting mad when we don't follow the script laid out.

In those sad cases where women actually do want to pander to men, they often go the extra mile to change their entire selves, body and personality, ala Shoe0nHead. They pay very close attention to the mens' likes and interests, and will meticulously try to scrub out any trace of the parts of themselves they wouldn't like, down to erasing history. A shy bookworm who got bullied becomes a Stacy with huge ass implants and 18k+ IG followers, a tan party girl guidette becomes a pale, shrinking "goth" violet from 4chan. All for men. Men, on the other hand, aren't the same. You never hear stories of them going that far for women, they're too entitled for it.

No. 326432


Exactly. Another very common (as in it cropped up every single day) question I saw on askwomen was "What's the easiet/most low effort thing I can change about myself that will make me attractive to women?"

They want us to be attracted to them but they don't want to put any real effort into it.

No. 326438

I'm the one you replied to and agree completely that men only seem to care about what other men like and think. And then beleive that listening to other men will make them attractive to women.
For example they are more afraid of other men thinking they are gay than wanting to be nice and groomed for women.
And when they see masses of fangirls swooning over young pretty popstars they angrily call those popstars fags and don't want to take in the info that young women actually want those guys.

No. 326442


anon please tell me where you got a mew mew power choker

No. 326444

Its not about your looks is the fact you allowing yourself to get walked over
If you're not feeling happy just leave him, duh?
Lemme guess, you ain't cheating on him back once he cheats either.

No. 326473

Why don't people take my bipolar disorder as seriously as people with borderline disorder, or do they think I'm trolling? I tell people I'm bipolar online and if I get in one of my manic phases they sort of treat it like me just being an asshole or a troll, but like if one of the people in the social circle I know who are borderline act like assholes people always defend them like "oh, they have borderline personality disorder, they're just like that." I know it's not just me because I seen it countless time, ppl with bipolar disorder being ignored/not treated seriously while borderline personality disorder get coddled.

No. 326486

File: 1542478339514.gif (1.82 MB, 245x199, giphy.gif)

I found a youtube video for what I assumed was a recipe for cheesecake but turned out to be an ASMR vid which is like fine whatever, as long as you still teach me how to cook the damn cheesecake which it did! But at the end of the video they took a huge chunk of the cheesecake, picked it up with their nasty bare hands and just started ripping it up!! It was mortifying. What a waste of a perfectly good cheesecake

No. 326490

File: 1542478632981.png (61.54 KB, 306x469, 1475764015015.png)

I'm going to fail my thesis even though I was granted a 1 month extension with the help of my counselor. I feel so pathetic because I spent months lying in bed doing nothing. It's just so embarrassing because after I got help I went around telling friends I would finish. I know this won't mean much in the future but i feel so fucking stupid and useless.

No. 326496

ASMR is creepy to me, those vids where they crunch on ice or whatever just pisses me off. How are annoying weird sounds relaxing?

No. 326529

File: 1542482041162.jpg (27.03 KB, 625x416, 872fb16e34fcb2f4e80caf6a20d3a5…)

>decide to try no nut november to challenge myself
>"it'll be easy, I'm a woman!"
How do men do this? tmi but I couldn't fucking concentrate today unless I relapsed.

No. 326538

youre addicted then bc it isnt hard for most women to go w/o it. it wouldnt be difficult for men if they werent addicted and male culture didnt encourage them to jack off every five seconds, too

No. 326546

Maybe, I just assumed that I have a high libido. Women with high sex drives exist, don't we?
I didn't even relapse due to porn (since I'm noporn), I had a wet dream and couldn't get it out of my head. It was also at the point where I was getting overwhelmingly aroused just by being within the vicinity of men I'm attracted to.
Masturbation doesn't hurt anyone, does it? I function quite well with regular sessions and have no other vices.

No. 326552

Why would you do this though? What is the point of avoiding masturbation?
I can go days without it but during ovulation or other horny phase it's multiple times a day.

No. 326553

nah, nothing wrong with just masturbating, but i think doing it often makes it more difficult not to do it and can become addictive, obv. neural networks and all that. men are encouraged to look at everything through a sexual lens and look at porn constantly tho and men constantly talk about masturbation like it's a fucking hobby and use it as a legit bonding point, so it's no wonder they're addicted. they are fucked tho and i dont think their shit is generally healthy.

i have a high sex drive but i don't feel the need to masturbate, nor do i feel so aroused that i have to masturbate, like, when i masturbate i just want to experience the feeling of cumming and it's not really a sexual thing necessarily. maybe i'm just odd in that respect in that when i'm aroused i really just want to have penetrative sex and not necessarily stimulate my clit.

No. 326556

I can't tell if I have a low libido or if I'm normal because all I hear about is the male libido, and they think you've a prudish monk if you aren't jerking off once a day.

I get the urge to have sex or masturbate about twice or thrice a month, usually when I'm ovulating. Is that normal for a woman or do I have a low libido?

No. 326557

Libido-level is individual and may differ depending on what is going on in your life.

Many men keep it artificially high by using porn.

No. 326558


No. 326562

Just wanted to test my self control for fun, I guess. Since I know my drive is high.
I made it for two weeks, anyway.
I think I was more addicted to it (multiple times a day every day) when I used to use porn a lot, which was also when I was a teen. I wager it's probably the same thing fucking up men who already have high libidos.
It also may be a sexually-visual person thing, since I consider myself to be very much in that category. You seem to focus more on feeling, so it probably doesn't get triggered by everyday stimuli.

No. 326565

I would only stop wanking if it was a contest.

No. 326572

Maybe you're gray asexual

No. 326574

File: 1542485889382.jpg (27.45 KB, 567x437, a2b.jpg)

>mfw my bf of many years cums without any physical stimulation at all, just by seeing my boobs, but is going to break up with me soon, and i'm going to have to live with the fact that i lost the only innocent man out there

No. 326576


I don't believe gray asexuality is a real thing.

Plus I do get attracted to people, I just don't feel turned on other than when I'm ovulating.

No. 326579

I'm so sorry anon, I just meant I liked the ones from Mew Mew Power, not that I had one (sadly).

No. 326580

I started working for an online ESL company last month (this post will have a lot typos tho because im venting on my phone and i cant type worth shit) and compared to other newbies I surprisingly have been doing very well for myself but dear god i cant stand the other ‘teachers’ on the app. A whole bunch ofstay at home women in their mid~late 40s who have never traveled or understand that we are all basically working for an APP and that parents dont give a shit about your quals or whatever. They want to see an attractive young face who has energy and isnt a fucking dull knitwit who cant entertain a child for 25 minutes through video chat.

It’s technically written somewhere in their ‘rules’ that we are all supposed to wear a blue shirt. I posted in a facebook group for people who work here, and basically told somebody “just look presentable, thats all that matters, wear what you want” I did it the first day because I said fuck it, my only decent blue shirt was from back in high school when i was a land whale and I’m not going out and getting some cheap walmart-tier t-shirt because half of this fucking business is selling your image. Yet I had these idiots on my case for not ‘being in uniform’. WHAT FUCKING UNIFORM. You’ve got lazy AF stay at home moms who teach in crusty blue hoodies and half of you are in random shades of blue t-shirts anyway who can barely rake in $200 a month and yet they state “you will never be given more lessons by stagg and parents will see you as unprofessional” LOL WHAT. I wear fashionable clothes and do my makeup and hair, yet I’m the one who is tarnishing their image. These old ass hags keep giving tips like “wear a blue scarf!!” “I wear a blue fleece jacket over my regular clothes!” Like that shit matters? Our packages cost parents over a thousand dollars. You think a parent would look at me in my made up self and modern stylish clothes from H&M and tirn down the company as a whole because of color choices?? The oarents who I’m 99% sure dont even know about this stupid rule. Yes me, who raked in over 2k my first month and makes 20$ an hour now because I qualified it due to how well I was doing. I was a weird freak of nature who got a lot more success than anybody who started when I did, and I think my attitude about the whole thing just helped me to succeed more. I dont prance around about “muh stuuuuudents” “muh classsssroooooom”. We tutor kids on a fucking iphone App and act like monkeys to sell lesson packages.

Oh and this is a chinese company and anybody who knows fucking anything about chinese companies knows that arbitrary rules like this are never followed and the higher ups obviously dont care because they have sales people monitor each trial lesson and you’d think after a hundred or so trials they would be up in arms about my lack of blue shirt kek they just want you to sell and keep students around. They dont fucking care about what you wear to that extent.

No. 326581

That's what gray asexuality means

No. 326582


"I only feel turned on sometimes" isn't really a coherent sexuality. "I have a low libido" is fine, there's no need to get all Tumblr about it.

No. 326583


No it's not anon. Asexuals define asexuality as not being attracted to people. Actually they sperg out all the time about how they can be asexual and still want to have sex. So it follows that gray asexuality would mean only being attracted to people sometimes, which describes literally everyone in the universe.

No. 326584

Do we really need fancy terms for low libido?

No. 326585

Careful those bitter people don't start mass reporting you for not wearing a blue shirt, anon.
Don't let them mess up your money for something so dumb.

No. 326589

Not that's not what it means, if it's tied to anon's ovulation cycle it's most likely hormonal, and anon just has a low sex drive.

No. 326591

Jesus i hate those neo-identities popping up all over the place. Asexuality isn't a sexuality, it's a (treatable, if you wish to) low libido. Everyone quit trying to be hip and cool by pretending to be oppressed challenge.

No. 326593

Masturbation is completely normal and no nut november is dumb unless you're addicted to porn and jack it every day.

No. 326595

Asexuality and low libido are not the same thing, and it's not a new thing either. Either way, it doesn't apply to what OP described.

No. 326607


Asexuality is a choice or personality type, low libido is generally considered to be a temporary medical problem or glitch for an otherwise sexual person. Thinking asexuality needs to be "treated" is exactly why people sperg about oppression and that it's a sexuality. You're telling people who choose to abstain from constant sex that there is something "wrong" with them.

No. 326608

I think he is gonna be crying soon anon, they must be great boobs

No. 326609

>Asexuality is a choice or personality type,
The fuck? Not even asexuals claim that. Chosing not to have sex is called celibacy. And if a low sex drive is a personality trait, it's just the medical problem you mentioned becoming someone's identity (aka exactly what happens with tubmlrinas who want to be special).

Anon also said that asexuality is treatable IF YOU WISH. She never said it has to be. And literally nobody has ever fucking said the alternative to asexuality is 'constant sex'. Classic aspecial bullshit, pretending non asexuals are obsessed with sex and want it all the time and if they don't then they are something different and special.

No. 326615

I think people misinterpet it, asexuals don't think they're special, they think people who are highly sexual are weird or gross.

However there's plenty of "asexuals" with porn or NSFW blogs/rebloggers which muddies the water somewhat. It seems to have a different definition for everyone. The difference is asexuality is a label, low libido is a problem. They may be interchangeable, but most internet asexuals are proud of it.

Slight off-topic, but original anon is probably low libido unless she's proud of it and wears it as a badge/part of her edgy persona.

No. 326616

>I think people misinterpet it, asexuals don't think they're special, they think people who are highly sexual are weird or gross.
If that was the case, they'd be putting labels on people with regular sex drives instead of themselves.

Asexuality is a blatant tumblresque grab for oppression status and minority points. Oh no, I'm a boring oppressive straight according to tumblr, how can I insinuate myself into the LGTBBQ+ community? I know, I'll pretend my disinterest in sex (due to low libido, trauma, depression, personal discomfort with sexuality, etc) is a sexual orientation.

No. 326617


I'm just low libido, I wouldn't call myself gray asexual or asexual or anything like that. I don't even find it to be a real problem for me, I'm just not sure if it's normal or if my libido is lower than average.

No. 326626

Probably because those with bpd are notorious for pulling the manipulative suicide card if they aren't coddled enough. So people walk on eggshells for them because "what if they really do kill themselves"

No. 326649

you're so sweet, anon. thanks. i really wish they were, but they're really just objectively okay. i just wish he'd let me keep him forever.

No. 326651

File: 1542496765913.jpg (84.99 KB, 673x660, beneben.jpg)

i was curious about who was stalking nicoleeeveedavis since she announced her getting a restraining order and it turns out its some guy named brandon benford.
i wish i could search up instagram, but he also went after her on twitter. there's some photos still up. https://twitter.com/search?f=images&vertical=default&q=to%3Anicoleeeveed%20since%3A2018-06-01%20until%3A2018-07-31&src=typd
the thing is she also mentioned someone used to pretend to be her, like take photos and mimic who she is and i still haven't found out who that is as well.
this brandon guy is insane, he tried turning his obsession into saying nicole was racist for not liking him because he's black.

No. 326654

is the vent thread the correct place for this, anon? just wondering

No. 326655

>You're telling people who choose to abstain from constant sex that there is something "wrong" with them.
Where? And again, not what asexuality is, having low libido and not experiencing sexual attraction in general are not the same thing. Most people are not asexual but don't have "constant sex" either, that's definitely not considered the norm.

Pointless discussion on this website I guess, but asexuality is not a special edgy internet identity that didn't exist until 2009, it's not that deep really.

No. 326659

tbh i didn't know where to put this besides vent. i don't think there's a thread for this specific type of situation.

No. 326695

My parents were fighting and once again, my dad ran off threatening suicide again. Great.

No. 326718

is ur dad a narcissist, anon?
sounds pretty similar to my ma when she gets upset because she wants attention.

No. 326724

I’m kind of torn about where to go for my bachelor’s degree because the Uni I’m thinking about going to is located in the most dangerous city in the state I live in.

When I started changing my mind about it I ran into an old acquaintance who went there for his degree, and he said it was fine while he was there. And it’s only an hour and a half drive from where I live now.

No. 326727

hard to say if he is or isn’t since I’m not a psychologist but it’s definitely an emotionally abusive relationship that they have going on. It’s always the same shit too whenever he pulls the suicide card. He runs away so we can’t call the authorities, texts or calls mom that he’s going to jump off a building which basically forces my mom to say what he wants to hear to “win” whatever disagreement they had in the first place, and then comes back and acts like nothing’s happened. It’s just pissing me off at this point because he’s pulled this crap so many times now.

No. 326743


Sounds like borderline to me; my mom is. My dad is a narcissist, and it's a whole other boat.

No. 326752

I’m so sick of the fucking water thread, like fuck off already. What kind of rart needs to be reminding daily to hydrate. I DONT NEED TO SEE THIS SHIT ON THE FRONT PAGE 24/7

No. 326754

just hide it, obviously, you.."rart"?

No. 326755

no fun allowed on the random board amirite?

No. 326765

Sounds like someone forgot to drink water today

No. 326767

I just can't believe people need reminders to drink water. I'd go insane from thirst if I didn't have a bottle with me 24/7.

No. 326770

they don't it's a joke thread…

No. 326771

Have you even read it? It has plenty of actual discussion about water drinking habits.

No. 326772

I dislike it because it's a shitty meme thread, would've been ok if it was started as a regular water discussion

No. 326773

File: 1542527903885.gif (658.23 KB, 500x281, C9BB98F4-FBC0-4CB6-BD02-F1C4F0…)

Buckle up, this is going to be a long one.

There’s this girl, the first person I had attempted to be friends with in years due to social anxiety, and we started texting often, relating, having a great time. She would always tell me how I was her best friend and she wouldn’t know what to do without me etc. I was a bit apprehensive bc we were only friends for a couple months at this point, and I don’t have a great amount of trust in most people.

So anyway, I thought we had started to build a genuine friendship, but looking back I hadn’t made friends in so long that I kind of forgot how it all goes. I didn’t really feel she was my “best friend” like she had always said, but i went along with it anyway cuz fuck it I don’t have any friends lmao.

Then I started noticing things, the way she would text me if I forgot to respond asap became really hostile and aggressive. If I didn’t give her the response she wanted she would basically force it out of me (ie. she would send me pics of her cat and i would say aw cute! And she’d be like do you love her? Like wtf bitch its ur cat just say thanks and go lmao) she would constantly send screenshots of her fighting with her friends/family/our inlaws and demand I be on her side (even tho most of the time I really felt she was in the wrong). She one time said my husband better like her cuz she went to visit him in the hospital once after he broke his neck.

So I realize this bitch is TOXIC like holy shit, but I am in too deep apparently.

I stop texting her, I stop liking/commenting on posts, all interaction after she got mad at me for something stupid I didn’t agree with her about. Still, she texts me… consistently everyday, with me not responding. I get sad every time cuz I feel guilty, but whatever, not worth.

Two weeks before my wedding she dyes her hair a v similar shade of red to my natural hair, aight weirdo.

She stops texting me for a few weeks, but after I gave her a gift card she texts me “so i know you don’t like me for some reason anymore, but thanks for the giftcard that was so sweet and thoughtful of you” uhhh again bitch, just say thanks and go.

So here we are now, still receiving weekly texts (i blocked her number now), still trying to start drama with me and all my inlaws (which are her inlaws also), still has red hair. And one of the most unfortunate parts is that I know that even if I block her and her bf on everything she will find a way to contact me/weasel her way in. She became very close with our inlaws (whom i despise lolll) and they love starting drama too, so I know they will bring it up if I do block her.

Shit just sucks cuz I thought I had a cool ass friend at first, turns out she was a fuckin crazy cunt.

Sorry for the novel, if u made it this far bless you you will receive 10 years of good luck.

No. 326774

Actually now that you mention it, i noticed i rarely get truly thirsty unless i'm drunk, exercising hard, it's a really hot day, etc, some other obvious reason. But on any average day where none of those factors apply? I'll get dehydration symptoms like super dark pee or light headedness before I experience the feeling of thirst. When I was a kid I would get thirsty any time I hadn't drank water in a few hours, it operated just like hunger. I think it changed sometime around high school.
So I do need to remind myself to drink water or I could easily let myself become very dehydrated. What's up with that? Anyone else?

No. 326778

Didn’t go to a single college class this week, couldn’t motivate myself to get out of bed. Pretty sure i’m gonna fail this semester. No idea how i’m gonna continue to work and go to school both full time. I can’t quit my job but i also can’t drop out so i have no idea what i’m going to do. My physical and mental health are both declining, i’m conatantly in a bad mood and can’t get out of bed most days, and now i’m getting sick but i can’t afford to miss work or any more classes so i have no idea what i’m going to do. I really need to get my life together. This has been the most self destructive year of my life and it’s all coming back to bite me in the ass now.

No. 326793

Just fml I look like a fat Chloe Grace Moretz, with still the small chest and not a nice face to make up for it. Did God just want me to be forever alone and an absolute freak of nature? I'm not even motivated to dress nicely or do anything to improve the situation, because I'll always be ugly and unfortunate. Surgery can't change my entire bone structure.

No. 326806

File: 1542535461317.jpg (62.6 KB, 720x720, 37013339_10216874641166121_139…)

I read all this for some reason. I don't understand how people have drama like this beyond the age of 14, let alone parallel to being married and having in-laws. Are you all red necks or something ?

No. 326812

I think I'm just fundamentally broken. After a little while in a relationship I just lose interest in my partner sexually? It's not even for one specific reason. I think it may just be the familiarity. I still have a sex drive, just for other people.

I love my current boyfriend and we've been together for a few years but I'm getting to the point that I'm losing interest in that way and that's always the beginning of the end of relationships. I really don't want it to be, though. I really don't want any other life partner but I feel like I'm going to ruin it again.

No. 326816

I’m sick of people mistaking my toddler son for a girl - it wouldn’t be a big deal if it weren’t for the fact that I’ll politely correct them the first time and then they continue to refer to him as a girl and even call him the female variant of his name. It gives me the shits, no matter how many times I’ll correct someone in a single conversation they’ll still be adamant that he’s a girl

No. 326818

Was riding the bus today and some woman sat next to me. A few stops later and there's suddenly this disgusting smell of shit everywhere. She must've thought I shit my pants because she gave me this evil glare, then got up and moved away. Feels bad man.

No. 326823

plot twist: that was her, anon. she gave you the stink eye so you would not realize. she moved not to torture you with the smell

No. 326834

Am I petty for not liking that my mom copies my decisions?

She's paying for a course to work in the same field as I am even though I KNOW that she doesn't like it at all.
When she visits me, she goes through my stuff including wardrobe and then she buys the same stuff.
She parrots what I say to others, and she keeps mentioning implying that we're so similar. She adopted my movie lists, my hobbies which she doesn't really do or care about but she just tells that to others.

Don't get me wrong, I still love my mom but we are quite different in many aspects and that's something I like. The very next day she boasted about shopping the same things I told her I purchased in the same shop. She bought the same bra I did etc.

I can't tell anyone, especially not my mom because it sounds so stupid but I honestly hate how she really wants to be more like me.

No. 326837

lmao this is the second story of public transport toileting in as many days. that's what you get though - get a car you nerds

No. 326838

she sounds like a narc mom. it's common for them to try to one-up their own daughters out of envy. narc parents suck, i'm sorry you have to deal with this.

No. 326839

I've never thought about it before but reading through the common signs and narc parent profile made me realize that she's likely one. At least I know now.

No. 326841

Is he indulging your fetishes? Does he go out his way to please you?

No. 326863

I feel so stuck.

I'm 26, I never finished high school, and although I've been enrolled at Open University for a few years I haven't finished a single class (or even decided what I actually want to do). I've lost most of my hobbies out of lack of motivation, and I can't work on my current visa (I live with my Australian boyfriend for most of the year and the only visas I can currently get are tourist ones), so I'm just unqualified, unskilled, useless, and empty.

I was one of those "gifted" kids who was always top of the class with minimum effort, which worked really well for me until mental illness appeared and I had no clue how to memorise, revise, or even learn things with brain fog and zero energy. I got Cs in my GCSEs (which was seen as a failure by my family, yay) and I dropped out of A Levels twice at two different colleges. I started seeing psychiatrists, psychologists, and counsellors, hoping to get out of this mental hell so I could actually start my life, but so far nothing's helped.

Everyone tells me I'm very bright, but I really don't see it. I don't see anything left in me at all, and I don't know how I let myself become this non-person. I don't know if I can even begin to fix this. I feel totally disconnected from my body and everything around me, and I just want it to stop. I want to wake up and find out the past twelve years have been a dream, go to the doctor, and nip everything that's fucked me over in the bud so it doesn't turn me into this waste of life.

I want to be better.

No. 326883

Lmfao! I am not a red neck.

It’s literally why I don’t make friends, and I was venting about the one time I did.

But I agree it’s dumb fuckin drama, hence why I got tf out after less than 3 months of attempting to be her pal. And a lot of “14 yr old drama” comes from having inlaws. It’s why I see them once every month or so.. idk man. Just ventin in the vent thread.

No. 326888

I really feel like getting drunk, putting on old music and wallowing in self-pity about how I'll never get to relive my teen years again.

No. 326890

Agreed, mine used to convince me to copy her by saying things like "oh you're just like me we both like X" "you don't want that you want this instead" and now that it doesn't work she's had to resort to copying me instead kek.

Sorry anon. I didn't realize until my early 20s. It's painful to realize but ultimately you'll come away with so much less guilt and confusion.

No. 326891

No. 326893

same, anon. i'm 24 and almost in the exact same situation you describe, except i know lifelong physical abuse significantly contributed to my psychological and cognitive problems. i have terrible memory, feel like i can never think, and am just terrified of academic environments now thanks to having been bullied by teachers all my life for coming into school sobbing everyday, and have severe math anxiety. i have no passion for anything, hobbies, nothing. idk how people manage to give a shit about their careers when i can't even gaf enough to play a video game or practice guitar.

since you're in the uk (i assume), you should look into moclobemide. i wish i could get it here in the US, but it isn't approved (for no reason other than, i assume, profit motive). it might help you with your problems, and most anti-depressants are largely unhelpful for most people. MAOIs are the most effective, and this one has none of the dangerous side effects of older MAOIs, basically.

No. 326896

I've come to a realization, both from my own for a long time and a wakeup call from a friend in a particular friend group in college I have but I don't know if it is too late to do anything.

I.. at least used to be super needy, insecure, emotionally draining shitty person who gets triggered by minor signs of possible rejection, always saying sorry for stupidest shit like dancing too much when drunk or saying things I percieved as rude in my head but no one actually cares, also complained too much about myself and how 'no one wants to be my friend' all that crap. Still, the friend ground put up with me for a year but I haven't really got to be close with anyone, or the people I was previously close with have distanced themselves away.

So this academic year I tried to do less of that, and my particular friend in that group that gave a wakeup call that a lot of people 'wanted to like me' but I annoyed them. Although he told me that if I go to the friend group events and keep low key or talk to people who are still friendly, it will eventually changes. Some might change their opinion about me but it will be hard at first. (It's a club and he used to be the president anyway)

Is he's giving me a false promise? Do you think this kind of comeback story is even possible when people have built up perception and status quo around me as needy and 'do not interact' state?

I have other friends that doesn't belong to this circle and that I haven't showned them my annoying neediness much and it is partly 'fine' if I ditched them. But for me it just means that I lost the game (again), and I am particularly sensitive with abandonment.

Still, I don't know how to 'truly' stop being insecure. I can go feeling like I have everything together to useless piece of shit in the matter of minute by a dismissive comment. It is like I can other see my own worth through the action of others. 'Fake it till you make it' only feels fake to me, it works good at first until a hint of rejection comes and I broke down. Really want to change and improve though. Any advice?

No. 326897

Fuck anon, this hits home. Former "gifted kid" and now my memory and cognitive abilities are completely fucked after years of depression and failing to cope with unresolved trauma, plus major anxiety about academic settings and any kind of exam situation.

You should definitely keep seeing psychs, honestly it's a painful process but it's not too late to turn things around.

No. 326900

hopping on the "this hits home" wagon. turned 25 today, only got a seasonal job until january right now, no proper education, only shitty useless English courses compiled from both times I dropped out of uni due to depression. I was born in eastern europe where mental health/therapy isn't talked about and maybe up until I was 20 I believed being on meds for your brain problems wasn't fixing it, like you weren't REALLY you if you're on meds, you know?

Also the idea of seeing a psychiatrist makes me super uncomfortable. I can't imagine being vulnerable to a stranger who's only there for the paycheck. I find it really hard to convince myself therapists actually give a shit about helping you out, and I don't want to go through "sampling" several doctors until I settle on "the right one", cause then I'll be burdened by disgust with myself knowing that up until that theoretical point I will have had to have been vulnerable to different strangers at different times for no reason and it just feels so embarrassing even thinking about it.

I went to a therapist once when I had some cash to spare, he was some old fart that listened to me for 10 minutes about how I wanna kms all day erryday, and prescribed me 2 types of meds for a month, one I don't remember and one was Escitalopram (aka Cipralex or Lexapro) and it just made me space out, so since then the idea of talking to a therapist or going on meds again has been making me wanna puke so I just smoke pot for my anxiety, but it doesn't help with depression much.

Anyone here get over that somehow?

No. 326901

File: 1542563328457.jpeg (38.61 KB, 500x345, 315CEF17-7E72-4F83-B2FB-737AF3…)

“gifted” is such a bullshit label. i wish my parents actually tried to understand why i acted out and how everything i did when i was younger was a trauma reaction instead of insisting i was just a misunderstood genius who needed to be fixed with therapy and pills.

i’ll never be able to feel loved, hahaha

No. 326904

Same. 26 and former "gifted" kid.

Right at 8th grade is when it all went into the gutter. I can't focus for shit anymore. Most of this was because my narc parents went into financial troubles and started blaming me for everything and calling me ugly.
I used to be able to read 5th grade level books in 2nd grade. I was top of my class all the way until 6th grade.
When I got to high school I was barely passing. I graduated with a 2.6 GPA. On top of this, my parents were pressuring me to go to college.
When I went to college, I lost all motivation. I was skipping classes and doing the bare minimum because of my parents continuing to blame me for not doing good enough. I took classes that applied to what I wanted to major in and I had my parents telling me almost every day I was wasting time and money despite getting government assistance.
I ended up dropping out after a year and a half because of their harassment. Now that I'm out of college, my parents keep pestering me to go back. I moved out ASAP and I refuse to speak to them now unless it's necessary.

They really fucked up my brain. I went to a therapist for almost half a decade and it helped me immensely. Basically the only thing I can do about my parents is just avoid them and don't fall for their tactics that they suddenly care.

No. 326907

I'm so sick of having acne. I've tried everything my doctor has prescribed, I've seen a dermatologist and tried their extremely expensive "guaranteed" fix, I've changed my diet around, I drink enough water to fill the Pacific every day, I take care of my skin with cleaners that are supposedly good for acne, I've tried god knows how many supplements. Nothing works. It either makes it worse or it does absolutely nothing.

Meanwhile girls who just drink a thimbleful of water every day, don't wash their make-up off and sleep with their face on pillowcases they haven't washed in six months say, "Just wash your face!" to me and think they've given me the key to secret acne-fixing knowledge. I'm sick of it.

No. 326910

i know that feeling, sis. i'm about to go on accutane. while mine isn't terrible, it's just persistent and i'm so fucking tired of it. i'm so tired of seeing women with nice skin not have to make any effort. i just want to go out with 0 foundation on. what was the guaranteed fix? accutane? it didn't work for you?

No. 326911

I had a friend tell me sleeping on a freshly cleaned cotton towel over your usual pillow helps. Maybe see if you're also reacting to what pillow you sleep on, particularly if it's feather-stuffed and you could be allergic so it makes it worse. Sorry to hear about your troubles and it might be a stupid recommendation, but just in case you hadn't tried that yet

No. 326913


Seriously. I've been on Accutane twice and both times it did work, but my acne returned after a few months. So what should I do, just be on Accutane for the rest of life? It'll be a short one, since I'll die of liver failure within ten years kek.


I have tried that. To be honest, at this point I've pretty much tried everything. Nobody's ever really been able to say "Try this!" to me and have it not been something that I already tried.

No. 326915

omg, im so sorry, anon. that sucks so bad. iirc like, 85% of people have it cured after their first round. what mg were you on? my derm told me there were better results by taking it twice a day rather than once. so, instead of 40 mg once, do 20 mg twice a day. did your derm happen to try that? did you try spiro? did you try finacea? finacea worked a little for me, but not for the jaw/hormonal acne, fml.

i hate the "just go on birth control!" as if that shit doesn't make it worse, or every derm's willingness to spread antibiotic resistance by putting you on doxy for like the 1932409238493th time as if does shit.

on the upside, at least going on accutane twice probably undid like, every bit of skin damage you had. i read studies saying that people's skin all over their body was way less prone to aging and wrinkles afterwards, so i guess there's that upside. i hope you find a solution soon. this shit sucks.

No. 326916


I was on a low dose (I think it was 10mg) and went off it both times after my acne cleared within about 2-3 months. I'm signed up to start it again in March so this time I'm going to tell them that it came back after I went off it last time and see what they say.

I think my acne is hormonal though, so I feel like I'm doomed to just get new spots that never go away every month.

Spiro is actually one thing I haven't tried, it's really hard to convince doctors here to let you go on it. But if my acne just comes back again after my third course of Accutane then I'm going to start harassing them to let me go on it, because at this point I'm desperate. I'd settle even for just having mostly but not completely clear skin, I just want to not have a face full of acne.

No. 326919

File: 1542566717941.jpg (4.54 KB, 259x194, download.jpg)

i'm on 100 mg of spiro and it's definitely managing mine, but i just want the 'cure' to see if it'll work because this is still fucking annoying, so if accutane doesn't work for you again, i'd def recommend at least fighting with them for it.

why did they put you on such a low dose if you have anything more than mild acne or don't weigh like, 60 lbs???? all the research i did on accutane suggested that low-dose leads to it coming back.

i think you should ask for a normal round at the regular dose. my acne isn't even as bad as pic related and i'm about to go on 40 mg daily and i only weigh 98 lbs, which does fit the conventional guideline for it. i think you can legit be cured if you go on a normal treamtent for it. i read that accutane also helps in cases that would benefit from spiro because it has a marked effect on anti-mullerian hormone, so women with slight hyperandrogenism (just to the degree that their oil production is increased, for example), benefitted a lot (at a normal dose!).

No. 326921


I'm not sure! I'm skinny and had pretty bad cystic acne, but I also have mental health problems so I guess that's probably why. I'm in the UK and it's a nightmare to get on Accutane at all here, they make you go for a psychiatric evaluation and sign a form saying if you get pregnant you'll get an abortion and all sorts of other stuff.

My acne isn't as bad as it was before I went on Accutane, I used to get huge cystic clusters that made my face look like the surface of the moon. I don't really get those anymore, it's more like I get lots of tiny little spots all over my cheeks and jaw. I really hope a higher dose can just blast those out of me.

No. 326922

uuugh, that sucks! i read that the link between depression/suicidality/your mental health worsening was actually like, way overhyped/was sort of disproven and the link is super, super, super weak, but i guess the NHS can't afford to take risks and whatnot. and same here, it's super regulated to the point where you have to sign up with govt programs, take comprehension tests online and with your dermatologist every single month about the risks, pregnancy tests and blood tests every month, and if you fail to pick up your script within a few days, you have to go 30 days without accutane to verify again that you're not pregnant and retake your comprehension tests. it's insane.

either way, i really hope they give you a higher dose this time, because going on it twice already is super crazy, and i hope that you're finally cured. praying for you!

No. 326923


Yeah, I mean I was on a low dose anyway but I didn't notice any change in my mood either time I was on it. The only kind of side effect I got was dry skin and lips, and a good moisturiser took care of that.

No. 326924

If it's hormonal, near-period acne breakout I couldn't recommend spearmint tea enough. Used to think I was completely hopeless until I tried it.

No. 326925

How bad was your hormonal period acne?

No. 326926


I already tried that, sadly. I drank 2 or 3 cups of strong spearmint tea every day for about four months, but it didn't really do anything.

No. 326938

I've also been so sick of my acne (all on the left side, none on right, and I sleep on my back!) but what kind of helped was taking MSM. It's only been a day but I think it really helped; I had a gross cheek pimple and nose crease cystic acne that just wouldn't go away but it looks smaller now. It does seem promising!

No. 326942


Interesting, that's actually one I don't think I've tried unless it has another name. Off the top of my head the supplements I've tried (of varying doses) are Vit B5, D, A, E, Maca, Evening Primrose Oil, Saw Palmetto, Magnesium (both oil and in capsules) and Zinc, all to no effect (except B5, which made me break out like crazy).

I'll have a look into MSM, thanks anon!

No. 326943

can we take this to a skincare thread so we can have more variety in vent posts?

No. 326945

I always feel super uncomfortable when my brother has his girlfriend over. I always have the feeling that they are gossiping about me as she always treats me like a child and has this 'i'm holier than thou' attitude. I also think she has some kind of eating disorder as she is always staring down the plates of the other people, almost eats nothing herself when me and my family are having dinner and then shoves literal pounds of candy down her throat late at night when she and my brother are watching a movie. How can I tell her in a polite manner to stop staring me down & to shove those annoying remarks up her ass, it is just rude. I just hope that they'll break up soon that bitch is annoying af.

No. 326967

I know this sounds like a meme but I've been smoking weed daily for a long time, and recently decided to quit until I find a job since it was draining savings, well fucking boom after 2 days of sobriety I find a job (nothing special though, just seasonal retail) and buy myself 100 quid worth of pot again and now I feel kinda guilty about it because I did sort of okay without it. I thought I would be crawling up walls, but it was nothing too crazy and I feel like I should have stayed off but I have no will power so now I'm just sitting here stoned hungry and guilty. I'd want to stop smoking, it's been 5 years, but man it's nice, and it's the only substance I use (no drinking or cigs and piss-scared of hard drugs) to wind down. Maybe I'm just thinking I didn't feel as bad cause I'm feeling good now, but I also fucking need this right now since my period started and I work standing up for 5-6 hours with very little opportunity to go to the bathroom since I'm the only one on the floor so if I wasn't stoned I'd probably be freaking out and crying rn. Also just fucking praying for a light flow so I don't start falling apart on my shift. Really fucking pissed off that it's someone tard doctor's decision whether I have a right to get my ovaries deleted or not, otherwise they'd be long gone. There's my 2432645 in 1 vent of the day

No. 326975

You definitely have a problem if you need weed just to cope with your period.

No. 326976

Wow, talk about having an addiction. You need to way from all substances if you can't control yourself. Weed's best used as a psych or painkiller, not as an everyday thing just to get high and omg chill out n get munchies bro. You fucked yourself and your body.

No. 326985

I know it might sound dumb, but I have pretty bad paranoia when I'm on the rag and in public. I bleed insane amounts and it hurts so bad it resonates in my guts and I'm scared as fuck of bleeding through on the job or getting a bad spasm in front of a customer. If you don't know what a period induced intestinal spasm feels like then you're really lucky. Also I'm not about to get high before work so you're half-right, I'm coping with the bad paranoia about tomorrow.

>just to get high and omg chill out n get munchies bro
literally never said that, I said "to wind down". I'm not high 24/7 and I only smoke small hits throughout the day when I'm at home, but I'm not about to defend myself to hell and back either cause I know it's a psychological addiction I wanna get rid of. I guess I made it seem like I deepthroat 10 blunts a day but it's more like an average of 5 pipe hits throughout the day.

No. 326986

Is skipping your period with birth control an option for you? I haven't had a period in years thanks to bc.

No. 326989

I don't want to risk it to be honest, particularly the weight gain, on top of my hormonal imbalance bs (inb4 it's cause you smoke weed hurhur, I've had it since I was 7).

No. 326990

if you have a hormonal imbalance you should really get it checked out, it can severely fuck you your health down the line…

No. 326992

yeah i'm on meds for it so it's "managed" and that's about the only medicine i'm okay being on. I'm paranoid of meds in general and hey you're probably noticing a pattern..

No. 326996

What, so you'll take severe period pain that exacerbates your drug dependency over some weight gain that probably wont even happen?

No. 326998

no guarantee that the kind of birth control they'd give in my country (shithole) compared to yours would stop periods completely either. And I'd rather at least know when to expect mine and not get it at random times every few months. Also the "probably" doesn't help lol

No. 327036

Yeah therapists get paid for talking to you but a good therapist won't let you feel it, plus it also means you can just skip any of the issues/awkwardness that come with telling family and friends that you want to kys or how much you hate yourself, it makes for pretty bad conversation.

Your mileage may vary but in my experience most mental health professionals do actually care about their clients.

No. 327040

i pretty much put two and two together that my boyfriend suffers from BPD and some days i just feel like i want to avoid him when he's already having a bad day due to work or something out of our control.

this morning he called me as i was washing the dishes real quick and i didn't even realize my phone was ringing in the first place. when the dishes were done, i heard i got a text from him and a notification he called me 3 times. right as i was about to call him back, my phone dies. i hurry to plug in my phone. once the phone is back on, i get a call from him. and when i pick up he sounds annoyed going. "what happened? what were you doing? how couldn't you hear the phone?" it just stressed me out because i had no idea.
my phone is shitty so it dies frequently when i least expect it so i deal with this scenario often. he can't feel calm unless i answer the phone.

another time it went off while i was shopping and i didn't hear it because the store was crowded. once i saw he was calling me, it was on the 8th call. when i answered, he was panicking and telling me he was just about to leave the house to go look for me at the store.

No. 327077

I'm actually getting so annoyed at people calling others jealous when they expressed they don't like something about someone who's popular right now.

Mentioning anything about another female will instantaneously get me labeled as jealous even when I'm not, and just pointing out the obvious.
It reminds me of when Mariah first got popular and if you pointed out that she just bought an eBay suit and put no effort into the cosplay, people would sperg out and call you jealous.

it's really frustrating when you can't even point something out without being labeled as insecure and toxic. If I was lashing out aggressively at someone, yeah sure call me toxic. But just mentioning the truth shouldn't be a bad thing.

It's one thing when men do it, but it's a complete other thing when another girl accuses me of being a woman-hater and insecure and spouting off that bullshit about how women need to support other women. Like dude shut the fuck up I don't care.

No. 327108

W-why did he need to call you when you were doing dishes and going to the store? He is acting like a newborn child who needs round the clock attention (also recommend not having a child with this man for the same reasons). You are allowed to be busy.

No. 327109

that doesn't sound like BPD and you shouldn't really be diagnosing him. if you're really bothered by it, which you seem like you are, the relationship may not be for you, but you also might want to discuss with him so you can figure out what the issue is. that really depends on you though. some of us are fine with dealing with that kind of thing, but if you can't, you can't.

No. 327121

I've moved abroad recently and managed to get an apartment that is in a very central area of the city. One of my friends lives in the suburbs, so it is kind of difficult for her to get home at night. When we go out she always asks if she ca n stay over at mine and because I don't want to be an asshole I always agree. But I've hated sleepovers since I was a kid and I still hate it so much. I can't really sleep when there's someone else in my bed and the next day she always stays until noon. Also I hate the feeling of her being dependent on me in a way? Like saturday night I was talking to this guy, but I couldn't have him come over because I'd already agreed to let her stay over.
IDK if I'm being selfish but at this point I don't really want to go out with her anymore because of this. How can I let her know that I don't really want her to crash at mine all the time without sounding like an asshole?

No. 327136

do her a favour and tell her the truth so she can ditch your ass. If you'd rather send a friend who lives far away home in the middle of the night and are annoyed at her not leaving at the dawn, then you clearly don't like her. OR are a shit person

No. 327140

I don't like friends staying over either but that just makes it my responsibility to not put them in a position of needing to. Stop hanging out with her at night if you aren't willing to make it work for her too, you can't have your cake your cake and eat it too.

No. 327143

That's whiny and obnoxious but not bpd

No. 327144

just tell her you need your privacy on weekends and can't have her over constantly. she's responsible for getting her own ass home. she can uber if it's such an issue or not go out. ez.

lmao anon is not responsible for housing her friend every weekend? it doesn't make her a shit person for wanting privacy in her own apartment instead of having some mooch in her bed half the day.

No. 327156

She lives just outside the city so it's not too far away. She could just take a bus to go home, which is what I'd do if I was in her position. This behavior is so new to me because staying over at a friend's place after going out just wasn't a thing at all in my old friend circle. Everyone would just go back to their own place and that was completely normal.
Also it's not like we're hanging out 1 on 1 at night, we're usually out with a group of friends but she always wants to stay at mine because my apartment is the most central one.

No. 327163

You're not responsible to have her over every single weekend just because she lives in the suburbs. She can take public transport or try to bum a couch off someone else. You're not a bad friend for not wanting them over all the time. That's super moochy behavior.

No. 327175

Sometimes I wish I was really materialistic and delighted in capitalist culture. I wish my main drive in life was earning money, looking pretty, and owning nice things. I wish I didn't care about the environment or socio-political issues or anything like that. It's so fucking draining being on the outside of shit all the time, and knowing you'll likely never succeed in any of your goals because your attitude to modern living isn't the norm. So annoying when there's a ton of women who are like "diet culture is bad" or whatever, but then will perpetuate it in the next sentence by not eating any lunch because they're on a diet! Fucking stop then! Wow

No. 327186

Man I feel you hard on this.
I care a lot about the environment and live in a country where many people are conscious about climate change, but even here you get stupid rednecks who live in the sticks and complain about the government hiking up petrol prices and go out in the street with their tractors and ancient cars and block roads in protest. Many of them could feasibly take public transportation but they don't want to because it's not convenient for them, or they think global warming is a Jewish conspiracy.

I try to live a relatively eco-friendly lifestyle as much as I can within my means, try to buy second hand clothes and as little plastic as I can, I buy less red meat and eat organic whenever possible, buy makeup refills and stick it in my magnetic palette or just buy palettes made of cardboard etc.
But then I go on the internet and see girls paying top dollar for plastic extensions, hoarding expensive makeup and bragging about their skincare/makeup "hauls", always spending money on new limited edition shit, beauty gurus lying through their teeth and shilling tons of products, and so on.

Then when you say this culture is toxic (which it is, especially to women) and harmful people defend themselves and talk out of their ass about how makeup is totally feminist and they do it for themselves and how I'm only shitting on it because it's a women's hobby and men's hobbies are never considered wasteful and shallow (even though they totally are, from collectors to car and motorbike enthusiasts.

We're going to hell and there's nothing I can do about it.

No. 327218

I love you anons! It's difficult to discuss this with anyone irl because a lot of people think you're talking down on them and even then, I doubt it's going to change anything on a larger scale.

It just feels so lonely when you don't enjoy the materialistic imperative of our modern society. I posted before about wanting to join a covenant. I'm not religious by any means but I don't have any motivation to pursue a career or a romantic relationship. The only thing I truly care about is our environment so as soon as I help out my siblings I've told myself to become more active in that regard.

It would be a hundred times easier to just accept and succumb to become a normie for a want of a better word, but it just feels fake overall.

> I try to live a relatively eco-friendly lifestyle as much as I can within my means, try to buy second hand clothes and as little plastic as I can, I buy less red meat and eat organic whenever possible, buy makeup refills and stick it in my magnetic palette or just buy palettes made of cardboard etc.

Thank you! It's heartwarming even in minus degrees that there are people like you that apply what they believe in. I've volunteered in a few environmentalist organisations and it's disheartening how many take it as a once in a week/month thing. Granted, it's not always easy but every small action matters.

No. 327224

I've lost about a decade of my life to severe depression.
I'm 24 now and I feel like I wasted best years of my life.
I'm still struggling, I'm still miserable, but I know if I continue to seat on my ass, nothing will change.
I've decided to start with simple shit, like drinking lots of water or brushing my teeth daily, because I never really cared about myself.
I know it will be a long process if I go with such baby steps, but I feel like I'm stuck and can't change at all.

I failed today. Didn't go to class again. Just spent all day in bed scrolling the internet uselessly. I feel like a complete failure. I want to give up and die. I know, mistakes happen, but I'm so hard on myself, it's either immideate recovery or death for me. I'm not ready to spend months and years building myself up.
I'm not strong enough for recovery. I think it would have been better if I actually went through with killing myself all that time ago. At least you wouldn't have been subjected to whining of a piece of trash like me.

No. 327233

Not everyone who's a demanding, inconsiderate asshole suffers from bpd.

No. 327256

>inb4 i havent done anything im a failure etc
You may feel that way but that doesn't mean you don't deserve love. Unless you fucking killed someone you deserve to be happy like anyone else. I mean look, there are people who fuck over others every day, make life as worse as possible for others, and they're still happy. If they can, why can't you be too? You may have stumbled a bit but that doesn't mean you deserve to feel awful about yourself. I feel like such a meme normie saying this but happiness is a choice. You have to allow yourself to change and open up to the possibilities life has to offer. It may seem dark and grim, but you are just looking at it from the dark and grim viewpoint. The dark and grim viewpoint sucks and is gay and hasn't worked for all these years. I know it's not as easy as saying "oh just think positively!!!" because I know you can't stop the negative thoughts right now. But if you look at something see it fully. See all the negative and positive. Maybe little by little your viewpoint will get a little less dark.

What you're doing now is a good start. Drinking water, brushing your teeth, etc. They may seem like little things, but those modest steps of taking care of yourself add up into something bigger. Maybe the next day you can take another little step, like clearing your desk of clutter, reading a few pages of a book you were interested in, or going out on a short 5 minute walk. All these things add up.

No. 327273

>Finally get accepted for mentally health, again!
>Have to go for evaluation
>Go with then bf because nervous and I have been postponing it for years
>Lady kicks him out so rudely like
>I try talking about my life
>She keeps bringing up my now absent father, never lets me finished my sentences, talks OVER me, finishes my sentences for me before it's over, quickly changes subject
>I start getting mad
>She asks why I'm rude about it
>I tell her why and she snickers
This women has absolutely bad reviews on Rate my MD (which I didn't actually care for till I met her)

End of the day, the evaluation went bad, I never got to talk about my issues, like my sociopath symptons or my family's past with mental illness.
They said they'd call back to tell me my next appointment, I wanted a good few month just to find out that I won't be going through that shit, and that I should just see with my family doctor my sympstoms and shit.

I'm so furiated, and since meeting her I've been more self destructive because I have given up hope on ever getting better, and have attempted suicide once.

No. 327297

kind of similar but I feel the same about (not to use a meme word) patriarchal culture. I'm so uncomfortable with how so much of our culture is driven by male desire, right wing tradthots or left wing sex pozzies it doesn't matter, its all the same.I just want to exist as a person, I don't want to have to appeal to men to "make it" in the professional world or be viewed as valuable or whatever, but I just feel so hopeless about it. It is so,so much easier to exist in society if I'm wearing a full face of makeup, feminine clothing, have my hair done etc (I get complimented! I get listened to (to n extent) and smiled at! people tell me I'm pretty! I get hired!) and I don't know how to break away from it, and break away from needing validation/being told I'm pretty and thus worth something.
also I literally cannot talk to other girls about it because as soon as I start talking about how femininity is an invention to please men and display submission they get personally offended and have to let me know how wearing lipstick and caked on foundation and contouring to hide how they really look is ACKSHUALLY totally their choice and not at all influenced by insecurity or male validation and how I shouldn't "demonise femininity" and how women "choose to be feminine uwu".
sorry for the angry feminist rant but I am just so exhausted and tired of being shot down every time I try to talk to other women about how maybe, just maybe, male/societal validation might influence the way they consume and the way they want to make themselves look. it's like they all view this as a personal attack, like I am saying that they personally are too stupid to make their own choices, even though I'm influenced by it too! we literally all are whether we like it or not! like I wear makeup, I dress up in uncomfortable and restrictive clothing, I diet, but at least I can admit that its because I am rewarded socially if I do those things and I don't just do them "because they make ME feel pretty uwu… its just for me!!!!". literally no one will listen to criticism of femininity as an invention for male consumption, not other women, and definitely not males, so sometimes I think I should just shut up and take it and stop trying.

also not religious and genuinely considering becoming a nun to opt out of modern society, it makes me too sad. would prefer to become a monk but even there am I blocked by being a woman lmfao

No. 327302

not to be mean, but you need to understand others better. whether you, or anyone else likes it or not, everything anyone does is influenced by others. period. people you mentioned were getting offended, because you were offending them really. regardless of what the source is, people still pick and choose what they are interested in and it's meaningful to them. by trying to force them to take a fully, unbiased logical response about their interests just seems naive on your part. (i won't even get in to physical femininity being culturally crafted by women, hence why we do aesthetic things men don't even care about and often dislike) even your interests are crafted by the outside world, but they're an important part of you. you should try to see from their perspective because it can seem like you're chiding or making fun of them.

No. 327307

yeah, I think you're right that I need to be a little gentler and try to see things from their perspective better. I just get so incensed by the gilded cage we all live in, especially when people refuse to see it as a cage or even at all.
which kind of begs the question if its better to rage against it to mostly very little success or to just give up and decorate it, and if the second option is even giving up or rather just making the most of a bad situation. sometimes I forget that mostly people just want to live a comfortable life and do what they can.

No. 327321

it's okay anon, i feel like this sometimes as well. i tried to have a heart to heart about how sometimes the plight of people really affects me, and they just went on about how people should try harder to succeed and that people are too lazy. no, derp that's the exact plight i was lamenting.

i think planting a seed in someone's mind is hard though, but your heart is definitely in the right place! maybe try talking to someone about a 3rd party that they don't necessarily care for, it might be easier for them to self reflect, but then again sometimes doing that is too painful. many people just want to remain ignorant, and others try to hide themselves because they know too much.

sometimes i like to watch historical drama type films about women (many of them are chinese) and it gives me a lot of perspective on just how strong they were, and how strong many women of today are. but it's hard to appreciate sometimes because reality pulls you back it.

sorry for ranting, i just really get so caught up in stuff like this and i really know how you feel! (hope i didn't come off as rude)

No. 327323

>i tried to have a heart to heart about
heart to heart with my close friend about…


No. 327324

I hate that my boyfriend eats so fucking much, I have to cook something every day because this goddamn beast of a man devours everything no matter how much I make.
I like cooking and we split the grocery bills so it could be worse but FUCK every time I make something that should last for days it's almost gone in one evening. Gonna switch back to dating dainty girls soon goddamn.

No. 327325


I know you feel anon. It's so frustrating when other women insist on being willfully blind and act like they just grew up in some sort of cultural vacuum. Like it's some sort of coincidence that everything that makes them feel good about themselves happens to be the exact same thing that the media has been telling them women "should" do or be since the day they were born.

I don't even feel mad at women for shaving or wearing make-up or whatever. I just wish they could say "Yeah I do these things at least partly because I've been influenced to do so."

No. 327326

Cook him something cheaply made in bulk and save all the good stuff for yourself.

No. 327348

Nah you're right.. male-male friendships do it all the time.. women always have more tension and dislike between each other and I wish I knew why.

No. 327457

I know that probably sounds petty af but I'm so pissed at a one of my "good" friends. She started to act totally weird after she got in a relationship that she has thanks to me because I introduced the dude to her. So yeah after 6 mothns of cringy messaging and dating they got together and I suportted her the whole fucking time. We are both fucking weebs and cosplayer and we went always together to cons and this year I started to make bigger cosplays. I got more "attention" and people asked more for my pics. I had no problem to hold her bags the last years while she was bathing in male attention while she was posing in her skimpy cosplay but apparently she has one. She also gained a shit ton of weight and blaims it on her birthcontrol, she eats like a pig and refuses to drink water or eat veggies but yeah it's the birthcontrol for sure. Thanks to the weight gain her old cosplay doesn't fit anymore and she is pissed at me for being skinny, yes she is pissed that I fit in an Asian S. Like wtf, sorry that I care for my appearance and yes I'm lucky with my figure but I work out and shit and she doesn't. As I mentioned I started to cosplay more and post more frequently on my instagram and I got a small following, nothing really big but I had suddenly a bigger following that she did. Guess what she did? She didn't act like a normal friend, no she deleted her old account and made a new one because her follower didn't like her shit. And now she is posting borderline foot fetish stuff and ignors me. Oh yeah and I forgot to mention that she hates every cospalyer that makes slightly sexy or lewd cosplays while she is showing of her newst sexy thighs without any pants on, she became such a hypocrite.

No. 327470


No. 327492

Your friend is a jealous tramp and sounds dumpy to boot… outside and inside. Drop her.

No. 327509

I just want my period to stop.

it's been 27 days. I just want to stop bleeding heavily. That's all I want. I'm so tired all the time and exhausted.

No. 327513

No. 327514

Why have you bleeding for so long? some form of birth control?

No. 327516

anon, do you have endo? shouldn't you go to the doctor??

No. 327517

Please go to the doctor Anon. You can die from that, you are losing blood. This is serious. Get someone to drive you/take a taxi.

No. 327518

What is the deal with people who have multiple kids who have something wrong with them? A couple I know has 5 kids and 2 of them have downs, 1 of them has some sort of breathing issues that requires a machine, 1 of them has a rare disease that affects brain development, and 1 is normal with no health issues. Do these people just have weak genes? Bad luck? And do they keep having kids trying to have just one that isn't fucked?

No. 327519


It sounds like you have Menorrhagia, please look after yourself

No. 327520

I think it is drugs/drink/combo when pregnant, or they are more closely related than they let on. I don't get having more than 1 or 2 if they seem to have such high risk of issues. Seems cruel

No. 327521

>move cross country to find a job in my field
>find full time employment after a few months with great benefits
>also find great cheap place close to work
>have school friends in city
>boss is incompetent and catches blame for their errors as newbie
>cheap place 's owner/ my roommate tells me how Americanized and how they LOVE my culture and how indigenous we are(???) points out their accent and they get mad and point out mine
>would also interrupt me to tell me how racist x,y,z people are even if i was just mentioned it in passing .ex( "oh yeah my best friend who lives in a Chinese part of town""anon chinese people are so racist and you shouldnt work for them theyre so cheap too ""… my best friend is chinese thats why they live in that area…""theyre racist probably…"
>offended them on accident now they avoid me most of the time
>the little human interaction i would get with my roommate is now gone
>dont want to get kicked out but keeping an eye out for a new place.
>dont have friends with common interests
>friends i do have dont/ cant make time to meet up because of work/ life
>feels lonely and homesick
>cant quit this job and move back home to a job that makes less than minimum wage because my family is becoming dependent on my income too and what i send back home
>trying to make friends and failing
>is this all my life will ever be?
i shouldnt have pussied out on my last suicide attempt in college
i should be having the time of my life im in my 20s in a large city but i dont have friends to enjoy it with and when i go out i feel so tired and cant even enjoy getting my favorite food or anything really. i havent had fun since i moved here 8mos ago.and feel lonely and tired most of the time. im just happy im employed and i can send something back home but it all feels so empty i wonder if all these years were even worth it.

No. 327524

I haven’t slept in three days because my throat is extremely sore i thought i had a common cold at first but usually for me it goes away after a day and a half. Not only is it sore but swallowing hurts like hell and anything i eat the flavor stays in my mouth the whole day in the most disgusting way and the left side of my face is extremely swollen and if i touch it it hurts. My breath also smells like a rotting corpse even though i’ve been brushing my teeth but i don’t really have time to go to the doctors since i’m always either at uni or at my job. I’ve tried everything to get it to stop hurting but nothing seems to work. I’ve also been taking sleeping pills to see if i can sleep but they just make me tired and the pain doesn’t need let me rest. I don’t know if it’s related but a tooth in my mouth has started to stab my tongue whenever i put it near that certain tooth and it’s also really painful. I have no idea what this can be but i’m losing my mind since it even hurts to talk and my job is literally talking to people for 8 hours daily not the mention the fact i haven’t slept for more than 2 hours in the last 3 days combined.

No. 327525

omg you really need to see a doctor it's just going to get worse. it sounds like you have an abscessed tooth

No. 327529

anon please go to the doctor and take care of your self

No. 327537

Thanks anons i’m going to try to go to the doctors on my day off hopefully it’s nothing serious

No. 327548

>be NEET for 2 years from trauma
>finally trying to break out and get a part time job
>see job ad for something I'm experienced in and suited for
>work up the nerve over the course of 4 days to finally call them
>total wreck on the phone, voice shaking, make stupid joke that does not get any laughs
>how the fuck do i socialise
>still get asked to come in for an interview

I'm still so scared that they will call back and tell me to not bother because I'm such a sperg. I hope I don't mess this up so I can feel like a person again.

No. 327550

>have a shitty eating disorder relapse
>recently lost quite a bit of weight after being stable for2 years
>want to quit smoking but really afraid of gaining weight, its gross but the thought of a gain gives me panic attacks

No. 327560

As stupid as it sounds, remember to breathe during the interview. Like you said you have experience in the field.
Good luck!

No. 327561


I have the copper IUD, and I've seen my doctor. im just unlucky.

No. 327570

You should go and see a doctor now, it sounds like an infection and you literally can die if you don't take care of it as soon as you can. Also if you get a fever on top of that now it means you should really hurry.
I had symptoms like yours a couple years back and had an emergency apppointment to rip my tooth out as soon as possible when I told my doctor what's going on.

No. 327576

>be me, having birthday
>best friend and his girlfriend don't show up
>boyfriend still won't have time for me
>be extremely sad

>mom invites them and childhood best friend for a surprise

>never made them meet before
>they get along great
>this is fine.jpg

>time passes, having my best birthday

>they invite childhood best friend to come to their parties
>well that was quick.png
>become instantly anxious
>turns out I'm still afraid to be overshadowed by her

I made my own friends after we both chose different unis, and yet, I'm afraid she will instantly have her place more than me…
I don't know why I long so much for them to show me that I'm not someone that replaceable but it hurts to imagine stuff you can't ask people about without sounding attention starved…

No. 327578

I'm glad you're alive, but this is the last time I'm going to check to confirm that. I'm moving on with my life and it's not healthy for me to keep checking in on you behind your back. I'm so ready to let you go and that elates me - I can't remember the last time I was this consistently happy, and it turns out all I had to do was love myself and appreciate the people who have always loved me. I am enough and so are they. Life is really fucking beautiful.

For the sake of letting go, I do have to admit I was initially hurt by how soon you replaced me, and how easily you fell into patterns you'd had with me. I didn't understand it. It was like you just picked up where we'd ended, only with a new girl in my place. Everything was the same. It freaked me out for a while, made me think I was just an unremarkable placeholder and I could have been just about any girl while we were together. Maybe that was true for you, but you know what? That's not reflective of me, and that's not my fault. That's a 'you' problem, a sign of your own issues with relationships and the way you view(ed?) women. I'm more than whatever replaceable object you may have thought me to be. And I truly hope your new girl is more to you than a convenient someone to fill an empty space because you're lonely. I don't even know the girl, and I should probably hate her or whatever, but I really just wish you both the best.

I hope you've found your version of happiness. I'm finally at peace.

No. 327580

oh anon, I feel you
My periods used to go on for months because I had too much androgen or something and it was terrible. I found that hormonal birth control helped regulate the periods, but the pills gave me some iffy mental side effects. I have the mirena iud now and stopped bleeding entirely, which was like a breath of fresh air to me. Irregular menses are so shitty. Have you thought about asking your gyno to check if everything is okay hormone-wise? I hope things work out soon!!

No. 327590

I'm getting so tired of seeing that dumb fucking hit-or-miss Tik Tok cosplay girl. I'm so fucking tired of seeing her trying to stay relevant, seeing her fridge body in skimpy shitty eBay cosplays, her horrible lip syncing to any song, her half-assed expressions and dancing, I'm just so fucking tired of it. I'm so tired of every single guy I'm friends with on Facebook reposting her videos everyday. I have to scroll through 15 of them to see anything relevant. I don't understand what their Fascination is with her, she's mediocre-at-best. Call me jealous if you want I just genuinely am so tired of seeing desperately grab for fame when it's clear her time is up.

No. 327597

Used to be with the Momokun thread since thread #1, absolutely hated her from the start when she came into the thread to WK herself while being an obnoxious cunt throwing her weight and money around. But holy fuck the threads are a mess now. A ton of newfags a-logging and throwing stupid accusations around such as the notorious "moo is a pedophile because she filmed some random kid for her instastory once" bullshit that just.. takes the fun away from the thread. Ever since her Twitter got banned for good and the histrionic thot squad started the "#momokuniscancelled" hashtag campaign the threads took a deep nose dive, never to recover. A year ago we had so much milk, her scamming people out of charity money, her ripping off an indie designer's design, her lying about her school, a ton of stuff just blowing up. Now it's Dakota thread tier nitpicking and derailing, I'm just hoping her Japan trip to be over so the anons who saw that you can't walk and eat at the same time thing being mentioned in a travel vlog will shut the fuck up. Her looking ugly and fat is not milk. Discussing if anyone in Japan would fuck her is not milk. The awful Prison School shoot and Umineko CMV were hilarious but it seems that even they didn't cause as much discussion as someone going "ew look at these crows feet lmaooo" for the 100000th time.

No. 327604

Yeah I will distance myself form her, won't be that hard since she ignores me anyway. Kinda sad that our friendships end because of fucking Instagram followers but hey at least I have now a personal lolcow, can't wait to see the shit she does next.

No. 327612

File: 1542710361856.jpg (160.47 KB, 964x1200, tumblr_inline_phynfifkEd1qivxp…)

>be me in 2016, severely depressed retard with aspergers living in a foreign country for studies
>make okcupid account just because i needed friends (online, i cant talk irl for shit)
>start talking with guy from my city who i didnt think we were going to talk much at first but turns out he's the most fascinating person ever
>didnt meet him because it was never my plan, though I start considering it more and more
>the more we talk the more we realise each other is what we were looking for in a person
>he says he loves me and i say i love him too and but still doesn't meet because my mental health state was genuinely terrible and his wasn't also that good so it wouldn't be the fairest chance for a relationship
>my mother dies and he acts really mean and i fucking lose it so i block him everywhere and go back to my country to get better before i ruin everything with him and do something stupid
>fast forward to early 2018, i spent all this year taking care of my health and did much progress, my main motivation was him, even though i knew he might not even like me anymore or not wanna talk to me, it was all fine by me
>go back to foreign country in january and he reaches out to me on facebook
>says he couldnt forget me the entire time and he still loved me, and loved me the entire time i was gone
>we start talking but it takes until june for us to meet so i could be 100%
>best time of our lives, we are so good together
>about a week ago i was in his house using his computer while he was showering
>going to save a pic when i notice some text files
>nothing too weird, some copy pasted stuff, but then i see his 'diaries'
>random bits about his life and thoughts and i was so happy to have an insight about how he thinks
>see entry from a month before we met
>talking about a girl he met while i was gone, describing her as the song 'bennington' from john maus, saying when they met he felt like she was the right person just a fucking month before we met
>even more recent entries of after we met of him asking about her on his tarot readings, he clearly wasnt over her
>turns out he moved on really fast after i stopped talking to him, the girl left him, and now we magically loves me
>says he was in love with me while in love with her
god i feel like a fucking used stopgap but i dont know if i am blowing things out of proportion. i cant think one would stop loving someone that quickly, and i feel betrayed because if i knew he felt like that i wouldnt have met him or would have waited until his feelings for her went away. farmers am i being a retard?
also sorry for wall of text, i'm the worst at being brief

No. 327671

Oh god anon, I'm so sorry. I think you should leave if he's clearly into more than one person at once. There's the chance that he'll do it again when you're with him, it's not uncommon for people who have done this once to do it again.

The fact he wasn't over her and seeing you is a big, big red flag. I think you should just try to quietly step out of the relationship and not mention the diary, and if he throws a big enough fit just send him the files and tell him to read over it again.

Tbh if you can send them to yourself, it may be good as proof should anything go down.

No. 327679

Holy shit. The biggest red flag isn't the other girl but the fact that he flipped out when your mother died. He knows you have depression and instead of supporting you he kicked you down. He doesn't care about you. And then regarding the other girl, if he supposedly fell out of love that quickly, what's stopping him from falling out of love with you (not that he was in love in the first place)

Love yourself and let him go anon. You deserve better.

No. 327684

That's what I got from this too. Him being mean after he mom dies is strange and sounds disturbing. I want to know in detail what actually happened with that, though.

No. 327691

Thank you for the kind words and advice, I genuinely appreciate it. What happened about my mum is that his sense of humour often was very mean without meaning to be like that. I warned him beforehand to go easy with the comments but he didn't do so. I don't think he tried to make me feel bad with it, it's just how it came out. In any case I distanced myself at the moment because it really was painful.

About the diaries I brought it up already and he tried to explain but it made it all worse. There's no way I can wrap my head around why he would do that. For now he says he doesn't even think about the girl anymore.. I don't know. I'm trying to heal but this is taking such a tool on my mental health and even physical health, it's just been really bad. I hate being this dramatic but I don't think I can really break up with him, or continue being with him, I've been considering suicide pretty often those days and it makes me feel guilty to even think about it. But to go on without someone I motivated my progress on for 3 years it's just something I can't see myself doing, and to continue being with him it's just so painful. Sorry for the drama.

No. 327695

>sense of humour
Please. Your parent died, I can't think of a single joke that would have been appropriate in that situation. I had a bf who used to call me a bitch "as a joke" and would be mean and dismissive and then excuse it on his dark sense of humour, the fact is he doesn't give a fuck about you nor should you give a fuck about him.

No. 327710

I don't actually believe men can "love" the way we do, maybe he uses the word to describe someone he's into. It sounds like he was into other girls while you were gone, which is not surprising as men aren't loyal
>inb4 go back to the man hate threa

However if you enjoy being with him, keep going, just know that he is obviously potentially a fan of more than one woman at a time

No. 327713


Your progress happened because of YOU, not him. He didn't help you, YOU did the work. Be proud of your progress. You sound like a wonderful kind person. Just don't expect the same emotions and dedication from a man as from yourself, I learned this too.
He is not the thing. The important thing is you.

No. 327714

I’ve ruined my sleep schedule due to all these project deadlines I have and binging on caffeine as a result. Now I keep waking up way too fucking early and have to put up with feeling like shit while I work on things. Being sleep-deprived with so much shit to attend to every day fucking sucks.

No. 327721

that's the stupidest shit i ever read.

No. 327723

>inb4 political lesbian shit starts up

I agree with the last bit but the first bit is cringe. Anyone who really thinks that is nuts.

No. 327724

I guess you don't do a lot of reading.

No. 327729

I think I might actually hate transwomen.
I'm writing it here, not in gender critical thread, because I have nobody who would openly agree with me - all of my friends and me are LGBT, and country where I'm from is not a queer-friendly one, so it makes more sense for us to stick together and not critisise one another.
But somehow I can't see most of them as women. Not beacuse of appearance or male bone structure, it's something about behaviour, exaggerated femininity that is just not natural, feels like drag or acting. I believe that people can feel that they are born in a wrong body, I also believe that starting HRT is quite a brave step, but something inside me sees it as very wrong, even repulsive. I'm really ashamed of thinking like this, because a society around me hates lesbians and transwomen equally and it's not going to change for a long time here. My country needs progressive views, but hating transwomen is not progressive at all, so it all produces a conflict inside me.

No. 327733

tbh the thing that bothers me the most about trans stuff in general is that the "solution" isn't anything real at all. i think that trans people are being duped into taking hormones and doing SRS. i'm really not sure why being dysphoric about your genitals suddenly means you should remove them. the thinking behind transitioning is barbaric to me and does not remove the obvious mental issue of being trans. and honestly the reason most people kneejerk about the alternative being "conversion therapy" is because how it was done in the past, they just can't see that it won't be the same. mutilating people with cosmetic surgeries to help validate their perception of being the other sex is not progressive or helpful at all.

No. 327736

I've read articles and interviews where both mtf and ftm said that they started feeling much better after they started HRT, and again, I believe them, but jeez, this does seem rather barbaric if you think about it. Especially SRS. The results just don't seem to be worth it, new genitals don't work properly, cost enormous sums of money, may and probably will harm their bodies and in the end all of that purely for decoration? Because you feel that skirts and barbie dolls are what you like instead of trucks and pants? I just can't wrap my mind around that. I tried and researched and still see them as crazy men.

No. 327738

yea, it feels to me like theyre just trying to make money off the hormones and surgeries, the same thing was done in the past to women, e.g. selling oestrogen pills as a beauty/anti ageing therapy to women. i also remember reading somewhere that the suicide rates for troons increase after hormones and surgery, but im not 100% sure. not to mention all the side effects from the hormones that will plague them for the rest of their life unnecesarily. i think they need mental help as opposed to this, but youre not allowed to say that irl.

No. 327739

I've seen the interviews too, but it's anecdotal and self-reported so there's no way to know for sure. Plus there are a lot of people who regret it and claim it makes them feel like monsters. I personally wouldn't want to get what they get, no matter how dysphoric i am, especially mtfs good lord.

No. 327740

Of course it’s a business. Imo the doctors don’t give a shit. They’re making money and why should they state their true opinion when a ‚transphobic‘ doctor is ostracized.

No. 327744

Not once in my life have I met a transwoman who wasn't misogynistic to some degree. That's why I can't stand them. They might be "nice people" but they still have very sexist views on what being a woman is like and they always fetishize the fuck out of women and/or belittle the challenges they go through in their daily lives, putting their problems with m-muh dysphoria above everything else.
>Women getting catcalled or harassed? Well that's just hot! I wish I would get harassed, it would validate me as a woman!
I hang around the tech and anime crowd and you see these sorta people ALL the time and they're often either perverts or filled with a ton of hate for women.

The statistics actually say that during a longer time period, the trans people who have gone through SRS are actually in much higher suicide risk than people who didn't. The initial "euphoria" after surgeries is very short-lived, around few years.

You hit the nail on the head. Have you seen the amount of money companies providing surgeries, implants and hormone treatments are giving to universities to produce studies supporting transgenderism? Google The Pritzker family for example. The treatment for trans people has become a massive business during the last decade.

No. 327746

I'm one of the terven horde but so many things about SRS piss me off. I'm morbidly fascinated by SRS so I've read a lot about it, and there are some hack doctors like Toby Meltzer out there taking advantage of the fact that not many doctors do SRS so it's an easy market to crack. So they do a hatchet job on these poor people, who then have trouble finding any other doctor willing to fix it because they could get sued if they can't fix the botch job some other doctor performed.

I don't know how those doctor sleep at night.

No. 327747

I'm kind of pissed that my blog got deleted on tumblr. I hope it can get restored

No. 327748

i honestly disagree with your first points. mainly because of the sheer fact that they are just men buying what they were sold. that's why most of them are trans in the first place, they're being fed this dumb idea about how women are and eating it all up to the point that they want their own piece of it.

i don't think they deserve to be manipulated, especially in a way that both validates them and allows for manipulating people who aren't shit (like children)

No. 327749

>I don't know how those doctor sleep at night.

on their huge piles of money.

No. 327750

>they're often either perverts or filled with a ton of hate for women
Yes, this is exactly what is in my mind every time i see one irl or on the internet. A shallow caricature on a real woman.

No. 327751

My father is a giant piece of shit. My brother has an upcoming birthday and we all know what he'd really like to have as a present. Thing is, that would cost close to 200 euros. Since my mom already pays for most of the groceries etc and my dad basically gives zero for the household, I thought dad and I could spare the costs between us so we don't burden mom. Boy, was I wrong. He said that if he has to pay, then mom has to as well. I'm obviously going to buy the present on my own but I hate him so much. I don't even know what I was expecting. I guess I still held some hope he wasn't a total garbage of a human being, but any expectations I had of him are gone now.

No. 327752

*split the costs, sorry

No. 327753

i've been in this situation. not sure if it's too late, but try lying about the total and making it seem like you've split it into 3rds instead of in half.

No. 327754

Fuck, I wish I thought of it before.
Though my dad is the type that would try to find a cheaper version and insist on that one.
Thanks anyway anon.

No. 327760

I've been with my boyfriend 4 years and the other night he wanted me to come of bc to get pregnant but I didnt but I hope I can get him to say that shit again because I'd love a baby and to give up chasing a high paying career, it's exhausting and people are so much easier on ma's

No. 327771

Please.. don’t breed

No. 327773

Lol people are only easier on moms if they have a man, you wouldn't like single motherhood, because then you're expected to be supermom and high career woman at the same time or you're everyone's favorite scapegoat even in contexts where it makes no sense. Don't do it. Dude probably hasn't even been with you that long and that's a major red flag.

No. 327774

Ok my bad 4 years so that's a little more reasonable to start thinking about it but I'd still personally say red flag zone if you're especially vulnerable to not having an out if it goes bad, i.e. a decent career or something. Just saying.

No. 327776

We're both well off due to families he already has a high paying job, I'm doing a post graduate degree. He's buying a house and I'm getting one, really a career is for keeping up appearances at this point, I'm over it lol

No. 327779

Hey man i'm with >>327774 literally never know what could happen. Having a way out is needed. I say this because my coworker had a really nice paying job and a really nice house with him and his wife. He got laid off and they lost their home. And they've kinda been struggling ever since. Having a backup plan will not hurt you.

No. 327785

You’re retarded. Why can’t you at least get married first?he can’t marry you but he can pop a baby in you?wtf is that logic?

No. 327807

My bf is becoming friends with a cow and it makes me uneasy as fuck. He met her through a game and I recognized her username pretty quickly and ofc her profile picture is a selfie so it wasn’t hard to figure out. I’m a pretty jealous gf as it is, but I’ve never really made it vocal or banned my bf from female friends or anything, I just let that jealous rage simmer until today when she messaged him 15 times while he was at work. I happened to be sitting at our desk in time to watch these messages roll up on his notifications one by one. So yeah, I obviously read them. What I read made me seethe, but I’m probably overreacting? The thing is, my bf is loyal and I trust him. He’s also semi-pro in a few games so I feel like girls kind of hang on him to get carried in those games. But this chick kept asking him where he lived? And for some reason he told her, and turns out yay she lives only an hour away. I want to kms or her but the messages could easily be explained as tame or friendly. But I’ve been cheated on so many times that I can almost see this playing out where I end up resenting him before anything happens and create a self-fulfilling prophecy where my bf really does leave me for a literal lolcow. I’m definitely overreacting but I have nowhere else to vent about this and just needed to rant. How tf do I bring this up to him? How can I just get the fuck over it? I’m not incredibly confident and I hate that something so little and stupid can ruin my day.

No. 327818

who is it? spill, anon!

No. 327821

She’s not even an interesting or active cow, but her thread gets bumped every now and again. I thought about calling her out but she probably lurks (like all cows) and I just can’t be bothered to start drama in my own life. But know that you’re not missing out on any milk. She’s a low-level cow.

No. 327823

Tread carefully, anon. Whatever you do, don't tell him you don't want him being friends with this girl. If I were you, I would keep your worries to myself, but ask if I could hang out with them too if they end up being friends IRL.

No. 327825

Ty for the reassurance that I’m doing the right thing by keeping quiet on this. I’m such a shit liar, last night when they were talking a lot I got pretty visibly upset, so I think he has an inkling of what I’m feeling. I ended up going to bed before he could get me to blurt out anything jealous. I don’t think it would advance to irl friends because we don’t hang out with a lot of people irl and I know he’d be uncomfortable meeting up. But they seem to have hit it off pretty well online to the point where they invite each other to a handful of different games. I think what bothers me the most is that she’s trying to integrate into our friend group really quickly and he’s making it very easy for her to get the wrong idea. And if it was me talking to, inviting, discord chatting with some random guy, I know my bf would be upset, too.

No. 327826

are you worried she's trying to steal him, maybe show you bf her thread?

No. 327828

This, show your bf her thread. A cow is a cow for a reason so maybe he'll feel like he dodged a bullet if he sees her history of cringe.

No. 327829

This year about 8 people that I knew died. I wasn't close to any of them or anything, but it's just weird when someone you know/knew/used to be friends with/worked with dies. I don't feel sad about it really. It's just strange. And before this year no one I knew had died aside from grandparents. Anyone else experience the strange feeling you get when someone you knew, but weren't close with dies?

No. 327830

I’m not sure what I’m worried about specifically tbh, my bf is kind of well known in the game he’s semi pro in. So I’ve been trying to justify it in seeing her as just a fangirl, but Idk anon, he’s just too good of a guy to turn her away or ignore her. I also thought about showing him her thread or letting him stumble upon in it some less conspicuous way, but the milk is flat and pretty lewd. I don’t really want him to find out, and he doesn’t/wouldn’t get lc anyway, a bit too mean for his taste.

No. 327846

File: 1542753420088.jpeg (117.05 KB, 640x555, B8F3C260-1D16-464D-98D7-0E9C18…)

My boyfriend finally said something about my Alcoholism Lite™️. It’s a legit problem and I hate that I never did much about it, I used to have a big drug problem, and a multitude of disorders and such. I’ve been to many group therapies and they really don’t work for me when it comes to those topics, I do have a really good therapist though. I said some really concerning things while drunk that I deeply regret and was letting my HPD control me deeply.

No. 327847

As a person on the other side of this: If you create a fuss it will make her MUCH more interesting to him than before, a forbidden fruit situation. If you are bored and unreactive about it it will stay friends/neutral. Be as uninterested as possible.

No. 327855

Is right. You did that progress yourself. It's easy to say "my goal is what drove me" but the entire work came from you. He did nothing to help, don't give him a shred of credit. Don't kill yourself over him, he's not worth it. You are the single most important person in this entire thing and damned be anyone else.

Love yourself even when it's hard, focus on your mental health first. Your brain can be fucked sometimes, treat it like an anxious friend rather than an anxious you and things get a bit easier to rationalize and handle.

No. 327857

Had a situation just like this. Like others said, be uninterested. Don't lash out. Don't hate her. Fuckin kill her with kindness if you can. Girls who leech HATE that shit from gfs. They WANT to cause drama and strife, they WANT to worm between people to make themselves feel better.
If you act out towards her, it just fuels her to go harder into infiltrating your group while playing innocent about why you hate her. If you treat her like anyone else in the server, she gets thrown off and bored. If you're super nice to her, she's gonna be really uneasy about why and most likely leave.

If you can beat her at her own game, it's a great tactic. Be the Queen Bee in that server and don't let her forget who you are. Add her on fb if you can, like all her pics. Don't let her get the upper hand of innocent and cute and polite. Beat her to the punch.

It leaves a shit taste in your mouth but sometimes it's the better road to take. She'll get bored and move on soon enough.

No. 327863

Definitely don't show him the thread. Men don't care about women being psychotic anyways. Plenty of men think it's hot for them to be psycho if she's hot enough anyways. No offense but why would you even date a semifamous gamer guy? An efamous gamer guy tried to get me to date him but fear of this specific scenario was enough drama to want to stay miles away, along w other things, despite him himself always being committed. It's just too much stress. This sounds like hell tbh. Girls always creep around these guys and try to steal them. No offense but you probably do have reason to be worried. These guys seem to cheat a lot or come very near cheating/the relationships almost overlap, because so many of these "nerd" girls are trying to get on their dicks all of the time to feel special.

No. 327866

No offence but you sound stupid. You're shitting on her bf without even knowing him, while also shitting on her because her choices in men don't like up with yours. Just stop.

No. 327872

I didn't say anything about her boyfriend specifically. I made generalizations about guys, and efamous gamer dudes, specifically, because of the fact that women in these communities hang all over them so there's an uncommon amount of 'threat'. Anyone dating anyone well known does have reason to be concerned when any kind of status is involved, tbh, especially when communities attract BPD-ass costhots, changirls, or minor cows. Nothing about her bf, specifically. She has persistent fears of being cheated on and isn't very confident, which I understand, which is why I said that specific scenario can be hell for people who aren't very confident.

No. 327895

Sometimes I want to just uninstall all my messaging apps because it feels like so many people are just using me as a journal or complaining about everything going wrong in their life and I’m like thinking - you brought this on yourself????? Like I tried to support you and tell you this is probably not going to end up well or you’re going to suffer for it but you didn’t listen?? I feel like a prick but it gets annoying sometimes when it feels like all people use you for is complaining and I definitely fall victim to doing that behavior too but it’s just. ugh. I’m tired. It’s just not a good time. I’m glad they trust me enough to feel comfortable to confide in me their problems but at the same time I’m going through shit in my own life and I’m just so tired of having to deal with so many people offloading their problems onto me without even like… considering how I feel until after the fact. I feel like an ass but maybe I just need a break

No. 327909

Recognizing a problem is one step forward, at least. Alcoholism can quickly become very scary.

No. 327912

My friend makes me feel like shit 90% of the time I'm with them because of their jokes. Probably overreacting because I know she doesn't mean it personally, but it bothers me anyways.

No. 327922

what kinds of jokes are they making? if they’re shitting on some aspect of you it’s not unjustified to feel bad.

No. 327943

Fuck I know this feel! Tell me, do your friends unload on you and get mad if you're not all sweet and concerned BUT THEN when you have an issue they blow you off? Fuck.

No. 327946

The thing is we used to have the kind of relationship where we could joke around, but I've started noticing it's more me joking around and her going too far and bringing up stuff she knows I'm uncomfortable with. It's partially my fault for making her think I'm okay with her saying stuff like that and never calling her out on it.

Definitely. She'll go on a long rant about something that happened to her and then basically ignore me when I share anything about myself.

I think I just need to make more friends and spend less time around her

No. 327951

Period smells so gross, I really don’t understand how people can fuck when a girl is on her period
It’s like such a nasty smell and it drives me crazy!!!
The moment I take my tampon out it’s like this cloud of nasty blood and ugh

No. 327952

it isn't the period that smells but the "chemicals" in menstrual products, even the aisles in grocery stores that carry pads etc have that distinct smell. unless you are talking about some other you-related smell

No. 327953

it isn't the period that smells but the "chemicals" in menstrual products, even the aisles in grocery stores that carry pads etc have that distinct smell. unless you are talking about some other you-related smell

No. 327954

it isn't the period that smells but the "chemicals" in menstrual products, even the aisles in grocery stores that carry pads etc have that distinct smell. unless you are talking about some other you-related smell

No. 327955

Aw, anon, if your friends do that to you that’s really shitty of them! You deserve to have someone to listen to you too without being an ass about it.
My friends are sweet, mainly because I’ve distanced myself from everyone who’s been kind of iffy to me, but I’ve had someone ghost me for a while before because I said I was at an event and an ex friend who talked shit about me to my face and then expected me to still be friends with them. it’s easier with friends I know in real life, but sometimes it’s just very tiring feeling like a human journal for others. Sometimes it feels like the conversation will divert back to them and only them, even if I’m struggling with something too. I think the only people to consistently blow off my problems are my family members, which sucks

No. 327974

I recently got really great scores on some relatively important exams at school. I studied really hard for the exams so I'm really happy that my hard work paid off.
However, one of my closest friends basically said that he can't feel happy for me and that he's just jealous and feels shitty about himself over not being as successful at school. He admitted that his behavior is toxic and said that he feels shitty for feeling jealous, but that he can't help it.
Now, I know that it's not really my problem that he feels jealous. It's his problem and I shouldn't care, but I feel like this kind of a thing has been a running theme all throughout my life. Every time I succeed in something, someone is always jealous about it and thus making me feel bad for succeeding. I hate it. I get put on this pedestal and people compare themselves to me and it's such a shitty feeling. I shouldn't have to feel bad for my achievements, especially when I've earned them through hard work.

No. 328010

no you just bought me back to earth a little, honestly. I really like feminist philosophy from the 50s-80s for a similar reason in that it reminds me just how hard so many women have fought and are fighting.
sometimes its easy to forget to ascribe other women the rich inner life and turmoil I know they have and just criticise. I should really be kinder to my allies.

No. 328015

yeah, I guess I don't really feel mad about women shaving/wearing makeup/whatever, I just feel really really mad at the context behind it, and get so exasperated when they won't even try to see that context. its easier not to fight it though, I know that and I should have some sympathy for them. my anger just gets misdirected and I hate that because it only alienates the women I want to help.

No. 328016

I think its because we're conditioned not to be assertive and tell people when they're upsetting or annoying us so we resort to passive-aggressive measures. Basically what makes us vulnerable to men also alienates us from one another because we're taught not to communicate blatantly.

No. 328019

If you don't expose yourself to socialising, and all the scary stuff that comes with it like embarrassment and rejection, you'll never get better. Im coming from a similar place- today I handed out a bunch of resumes and every time someone even said "sorry we're not hiring" a part of me felt like I would die from personal rejection, I was worried they'd think I was stupid or spergy, but you know what? Tough shit. You just have to keep going.
Something that helps me is that strangers literally won't even remember you two weeks from now, and even people you know are caught up with themselves. No one cares how you act.

No. 328023

They're not replacing you anon, they're just making a friend. People are allowed to do that, your friends are allowed to have friends other than you, it doesn't diminish your own value. Take a breath, you're not in competition with your childhood friend.

No. 328024

people with a "mean" sense of humour are just mean people who want to avoid responsibility for what they say.
saying this as someone with a mean sense of humour.

No. 328049

Bf suggested that we start a lifestyle change in January that would include a better diet and exercise and I'm a bit terrified since I have a tendency to slip into ed hell every time I try and control what I eat. Bf knows this and said that maybe if we did it together it would be easier for me since he can support me and see that I dont overdo it. I know that I have to make some changes to how I live anyway my current diet is so unhealthy but with a all-or-nothing type of personlity it feels like I'm destined to be either a unhealthy sloppy pig or a miserable control freak.

No. 328065

File: 1542800636483.jpg (68.8 KB, 504x470, cyanide.jpg)

My boyfriend isn't in love me anymore. He seems so tired and down and negative nowadays, I'm not sure if it's mostly life circumstances or mostly me. He said he's willing to work on things, but he's the type that would rather withdraw into escapism and pretend nothing's happening. I know he still definitely cares about me, he goes out of his way to do things for me and worries about me. But he doesn't want to hang out at all. Whenever I take the initiative and find something we can do, he looks so sad and lethargic.

I talked to him about it already. He just tells me he can't find a solution for us. It stresses him out and makes it difficult for him to enjoy our time together. It makes me so sad because no matter how much I reach out to him my feelings don't seem to reach him. I don't know how things ended up this way. He used to tell me every day I was the best thing in his life, he wanted to be mine forever, he wanted us to get married and be together forever. We spent so much time together. How was that all a lie? I know the obvious solution is to leave and find someone who cares. But I just can't do that, I'm too loyal in relationships and take them too seriously. I can't just throw him aside just because we've having a difficult time.

I know he's depressed for sure, but maybe a majority of it is because he's living with someone he doesn't love anymore? It hurts so much. I keep going through cycles of despair and then I try to mask it with fake positivity. I'm irrationally waiting for some sign from the universe, that this can be worked through with time.

No. 328066

I don't know about all that, but I do think men have (generally) essentially BPD emotions where they think anything they feel is desperately important and special and true, especially regarding feelings of affection/infatuation

No. 328067

absolutely. sex dysphoria should be solved with therapy and treatment of comorbid conditions, not mutilation. I don't feel feminine and feel dysmorphic about my features because I don't think they're feminine enough, when will the NHS fund my plastic surgeries lol

however autogynephilia should be treated with suicide

No. 328070

Transwomen be like "I know I was a woman because I like slice of life anime and got erections when I thought about wearing a schoolgirl outfit"
not even a caricature of a woman, don't grant them that. they're just men

No. 328072

Do you for real want to be financially dependent on a man for at least the next eighteen years and linked to him permanently?
Seriously though your reasoning is just "I want to have a kid cause I'm lazy" and that will not lend itself to motherhood. A child is not an out of responsibility. Be an adult.

No. 328075

Well sure you don’t have the throw the relationship aside, but if he truly doesn’t love you anymore that’s stupid as shit to stick around while he fucks with your emotions

No. 328077

Be aware of the time of year. Be aware of his outer life circumstances, don’t constantly question him about his feelings towards you or force him to go to things he’s not interested in but do force him to get out. Long term relationships go through feelings dips. Typically the depressed partner will shut down the more you act like it’s an issue for you and drum up drama (unless they’ve admitted it’s gone too far and they need help) I know it’s actually kind of worse to be on the other end of the depression stick and if you can you should consider seeing a therapist yourself.
If this depression started like a month or two ago I suggest you buy oranges, bananas and a SAD lamp.

No. 328083

I know, it's hard for me to accept that those feelings are gone. I keep telling myself that they've just masked by his depression. He doesn't particularly enjoy anything anymore, it's not that far-fetched to me to feel like he doesn't want to be around me anymore. I know what you mean though, it's awful to stick around like a fool when I don't know if those feelings will come back.

Yeah, I fucked up yesterday and told him I didn't know what to do to help us and was scared that we felt like strangers. He knew I wasn't blaming him but I think it made him sadder. This past month I've given him a lot of space, not even asking him to spend time together. Sometimes I wonder if that makes it worse, if that will cause us to be more distant if we aren't spending time together. And I got him some supplements since we don't go out in the sun much and can't afford nutritious food like fish regularly, he's been taking them at least.

I wish we could afford a therapist, but work drains him so much I don't know if he'd even go if we could.

No. 328085

I've finally admitted I have some mental issues and going to a therapist but now every little thing I do that's not in the norm I get some kind of "oh it's just your mental issues talking again" response.
Euh, hello, I'm still a person and not every single one of my actions is caused by my mental issues, wtf?

No. 328087

You're avoiding taking responsibility for your actions. If you do something like (just an example) get super drunk and behave very poorly at a social gathering and brush it off with "oh, its just my mental problems" this will not help you recover. In this scenario, thinking "Wow. I behaved really poorly, I'd better not do that again" is the sane and autonomous response. Don't guilt trip yourself either (the example here would be thinking "why can't I be like everyone else? I never do the right thing and I always make a fool of myself, I'm stupid and worthless and should be isolated") because that also defers responsibility.
You make your own choices, even if you're mentally ill. You can always strive to be better, and you don't have to beat yourself up about it. There is a middle ground.

No. 328092

I've been sad and insecure since I was in elementary school, I always did things for my parents and took care of my siblings whenever they asked me to. I never did good in school, in fact, I was a pretty dumb kid, so I avoided going at all cost but at least I tried to be a good daughter.

I started making friends in high school but I went through an identity crisis that lasted until I turned 19 because I tried to behave in a way that would please my friends, teachers, family… Without actually putting any effort on improving myself.

Since I've been a pretty gloomy but seemingly responsible person all my life my parents pity me and they don't hate me for doing the bare minimum.

But I'm just a twenty something high school dropout, extremely angry and bitter. I'm constantly changing my mind because I feel like I'm too dumb and thus my opinions are wrong. I feel worthless and empty. I don't have any passions, dreams or deep interests. I'm like an npc, and I hate saying that because that's just a disgusting meme, but that's how I feel.

No. 328095

That is a difficult situation, simply because you seem to have based your entire life on what other people want. Think about what you want! It doesn't have to be anything grandiose, it can be something simple like an activity or food. Just try a whole bunch of things and see what sticks. You don't have any obligations right now, you're not bogged down by a job or school. Why not use that to your advantage? The good news is the simple fact that you realize all this about yourself means you aren't an NPC! That's what being a person is about, mindfulness and self-awareness. You're just discovering yourself a little later than most. That's completely fine, it's not a race.

No. 328098

This kind of thinks happens all the time, especially if your friends are male.
My friends were hinting and ~joking~ about me sucking the teacher's dick because I had a better grade and they were jealous.
I let it pass if it happens one time or two but I'll cut out anyone that is consistently jealeous of my achievements. You don't need that noise, anon. Anyone that can't even pretend to be happy for you is not worth of friendship.

No. 328105

I almost cried reading your response, anon, you're really kind.

>It doesn't have to be anything grandiose

But for some reason I feel like it should be something grandiose, that I should excel on whatever I do even though I have never excelled in anything nor I was pressured to do so.

I know that I should just do something and stop using my feelings and fears as an excuse for being lazy but I guess I'm jut too afraid of failure and what I really need to do is be brave and built my own life…

Thank you very much for your advice, really.

No. 328109

It really doesn't have to be grandiose at all. Do you know how people who build habits stick with them? They take a small step forward, something that doesn't seem imposing, and after a while they build the confidence to do more and more. Someone who is overweight might walk for 5 minutes. They do this long enough and eventually they increase it to the point where exercise itself doesn't seem so scary and they're motivated to run or cycle or lift. Something that seems horrifying at first can be worked up to in a series of small steps.

If you go headfirst in the chances you'll get overwhelmed and give up are high, especially at this point where you need to build up your confidence little by little and accomplish small things.

And so what if you fail or stumble a few times? Think if you had a dear friend who was going through a really hard time in their life. Would you start to hate them or tell them to give up? Of course not, you would cheer them on and support them. Do the same for yourself.

Sorry if this sounded kind of preachy, it just hurts me when I see people struggling with themselves. I see so many people who are so paralyzed with fear in their daily lives. Not just NEETs, but even people who are far in their career, unhappy and anxious because they're doing what's expected of them. They stop taking care of themselves, they stop enjoying life, they stop empathizing with people. Once you take away status, money, etc, everyone is struggling with themselves, we're all the same deep down. In the end, the goal isn't to be successful or right or perfect, but to do what makes you feel the most fulfilled.

No. 328117

I'm SO annoyed by the fact that I lost the apartment key. Thankfully I don't live alone but I'm now super paranoid about the fact that somebody found my key and will use it to get into our flat ….

No. 328121

She's saying her therapist is brushing off ALL her decisions, personality traits etc as being "part of her mental illness" which is obviously dismissive of her personality, character traits etc. Rather than pinpointing actual issues. Sounds like a shitty therapist.

No. 328122


>Think if you had a dear friend who was going through a really hard time in their life

>Do the same for yourself

I guess that's the issue, that I don't treat myself like I would treat another human being, I'm extremely hard on myself in a very negative way, I'm surprised that I haven't ended abusing drugs or in a toxic relationship (I do binge eat though) since I think I have masochist tendencies…

>Sorry if this sounded kind of preachy

Not at all, if anything, you sound like a worried friend, a worried and empathetic friend.

Thank you very much for all of your advice, if I'm being honest, you're not the only one that has told me these things (and I feel very grateful for their advice and patience too) but sometimes I feel like they're biased towards me because I've done things for them or because they love me, so of course they'd support me.

Also, with all the negativity and hatred I see online and irl and with how extremely ashamed I am of myself, I just want to hide from the world because I feel like people would judge me. And I know they will, and that there's nothing I can do about it because we all have our own prejudices and such, but the fact that you, a stranger, can be so empathetic towards someone you don't even know anything of reminds me that there's a lot of nice people out there.

So, again, thank you very much.

No. 328124

Get your locks changed!

No. 328132

File: 1542822219118.gif (78.86 KB, 475x291, futowave.gif)

I'm finally doing it. I'm going to ruin him piece by piece by piece socially. I want him fired, I want his family to hate him, I want everything in his life to go just as bad as mine.
He fucked me over for years, it's only fair I get back at him now. I'm going to expose him for the depraved freak he is.
This is correct. This is justice.

No. 328165

File: 1542826505381.gif (366.02 KB, 267x200, michael popcorn.gif)

…Go on….
I wanna know this story

No. 328169

So a neighbor's cat got into my house, I tried to get her out as gently as I could but failed and she bit the shit out of my hand. I went to the hospital for a consultation, the doctor gave me the obligatory lecture about rabies and poorly managed infections and I got so overwhelmed by anxiety I started crying. Rationally I know I'll be probably fine but losing my hand/fingers is a long-time fear of mine. Also hate the fact that I'm so bad at managing stress I made myself look like a huge baby.

No. 328172

nah, don't worry anon. getting bit is stressful. i probably would have reacted the same way and i'm fine with handling stress usually.

No. 328175

Don't feel too bad, I think that's a pretty normal reaction. My dog bit me accidentally a few years back and I started frantically calling doctors since my rabies vaccination wasn't up to date anymore and I literally thought I was gonna die from it. I'm also quite rational about these things but idk not knowing how serious it is makes your brain go full panic mode.

No. 328179

Somebody guy made a rude snide comment to me today in class. I’m pathetic and weak, so I almost cried. I wish people didn’t get to me, even though they were rude as shit. Totally uncalled for but I don’t understand why people want to insult me.

No. 328183

I'm only 23, but I feel like my life is over. I look and sound 30+, people are always shocked when I tell them that i'm only 23.
I feel like the guy I love is lying when he tells me he finds me cute or beautiful. I tell myself all the things I read here are true, like he's only with me until he finds someone better. He told me he was only into asians when he was younger (he's asian too so it makes sense, not really a fetish) when I asked him about his past dating history. But he reassured me that he's not like that anymore and he's really into white girls since he met me. Am I retarded for finding it hard to believe? I feel like you can't change a preference so easily, and because of an ugly girl too.

No. 328185

Sorry long vent ahead
I've been dealing with really bad depression and suicidal thoughts for years and when it gets really bad (like right now) the few people I talk to tell me to get professional help. And the thing is, I know that my biggest problem is just that I do not have any deep, healthy friendships.
And that is because I don't let anyone in because all the people I get close with are abusive. It's always like that. Well, recently there was someone I became close with who is great and a healthy and good friend But in a really abusive situation. They have acknowledged it's bad. They wanted to get out of this. Now they're acting like a fucking fool and refuse to get out. And it's so heartbreaking to watch when you've been there.

It makes me feel like fighting against abuse/abusive people is so fucking stupid, I've had so many friends who pretend to be woke about abuse but stay in abusive relationships. It's like, why am I even actively trying to remove myself from abuse and cutting every toxic person out when I could be blissfully ignorant because I'm too deluded from abuse?
And I'm tired of losing friends as well. I don't let many people in and this time I really thought I managed to actually make healthy friendships for once. But now I just feel like an idiot. I'll never have what I really need.

Tbh, my friend refusing to get out of that situation made me fucking lose it all. I've attempted suicide, too. Because I just don't want to live in a fucked up reality where abuse is a constant in my life. Where people practically throw themselves at abusers and let them get away. I'm so tired of it. I just want to die.

No. 328187

tldr: My boyfriend's sister had a baby with a fuckboi. They met at a barber school his family owns. They're the type of people that earn more than 2k a month so they feel entitled to stupid shit. Sister has spent the past couple of months leaving my nephew with said fuckboi, getting into drug/alcohol fueled fights with fuckboi, lying about her whereabouts and was ~almost homeless~ for sympathy points.

Every fucking year we either have a smooth holiday planned out or we have to wait on bated breath for his sister to allow a holiday to happen. Thanksgiving was rescheduled once already without me and I work late in the day. My boyfriend still wanted me to cook, which is fine since I planned to precook (this big bitch wants her Thanksgiving she gets it) but then his mom called and said to reschedule a THIRD time because fuckboi's mom is coming into town from California and "we should wait" to have dinner with her. I told her to fuck off, we spent months listening to their bullshit. I didn't even know if my nephew was alive or dead because his sister ghosted us for 2-3 months with no phonecalls, no sight of her, nothing. Now she wants me to provide an olive branch for this situation and I'm already depressed because I can't see my own family. I just want to say I fucking hate the holidays. I just wish we could cook, say "hey come over" and let it be over with. I'm getting sick of this shit every single year.

No. 328189


Falling for one person can definitely change your preferences dramatically, anon. I used to be into tall guy with kind of gaunt, chiselled features. Then I fell in love with a man who was 5'6" with a round face and a lazy eye. We eventually broke up, but it's been five years since then and I still only go for short men who look like he did. I don't even have feelings for him anymore, but I guess the feelings I used to have were so strong that they completely changed what my type is.

No. 328192

Even if someone has a "type", it doesn't mean they can't be attracted to anyone else or that that preference will never change. If he tells you he thinks you're beautiful and that he's into you and your relationship is good otherwise I don't think there's a reason to doubt it.

No. 328197

I feel bad mostly for the child

No. 328202

File: 1542834935637.png (89.88 KB, 491x270, Captureds.PNG)

I know this is going to make me sound like a selfish bitch but I'm over it. My sister's best friend's family took me in a year ago after I had a horrible experience with a creepy landlord. I am honestly grateful for them but since moving there I have constantly been spending money on family events and vacations. At first I felt honored that they accepted me so I would always go but now its getting ridiculous. I dont pay a huge amount of rent but the exorbitant birthday parties and trips that seem to happen every month are adding up as its own utility. I am trying to move out but its extremely difficult when every other week there is a celebration and they need money for it. I know I can just say no but it looks horrible when everyone in the house goes/contributes money and Im the only one at home. I have said no before and someone always gets mad at me. It doesnt help that I am sort of a pushover. But right now its the last straw. They want to surprise their mom with a trip to the Bahamas which is super sweet but they are asking for $600 each by her birthday. It's fucking about to be Christmas and their moms birthday is in December. On top of that its their nieces 1st birthday that same month. While I do consider them family I feel like they forget that I have my own family (4 siblings and 2 nephews) that I want to spoil on Christmas especially since we havent had a normal christmas since my mom passed away when I was 17. Its honestly stressing me out. One of the sisters did tell me that I could give them whatever I can afford but if everyone is coughing up $600 and Im the only one giving less its going to cause drama because everyone knows how much rent I pay. They arent bad people they are just a big family that loves to do extravagant things and I am a cheapskate who likes to save as much as I can. I remember my first thanksgiving with them last year my sister didnt come until about 9pm (she gave money for food of course) and I thought she was rude, but now I understand why she didnt show up lol. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you to whoever reads!!

No. 328208

File: 1542837607260.jpg (1.6 MB, 2136x3000, IMG_0564.JPG)

tl;dr Grown men are fucked up

Former secondary school teacher groomed me into dating him growing up, turns out he's just a deranged fuck with too many fetishes (trannies, young teens/loli, old men, shoving things into anuses that should not be shoved in it, frequented orgies and didn't get tested etc etc) and has 0 regard for how his past actions affect his future actions.
I got older, he got bored with me and may or may not have drove me to suicide because I have amnesia from months ago and can't remember when I attempted it at all. He ruined my transition into early adulthood.
I just did some stuff to finally catch revenge on him, hoping it works. If not I'll just do fucked up shit to him everyday until it works.

No. 328210

Godspeed anon, I wish you luck in taking that fucker down

No. 328212

that's so awful, anon. i'm so sorry.


No. 328225

i know i wouldn't make a good friend since i'm too awkward and boring to sustain conversation, and irl i'm pretty much housebound so i couldn't go out anywhere with anyone, but. i still want friends
online friends to skype with and stuff, watch movies with. i wish for a little "squad".
i'll never have that though, since my personality is so unpalatable.

No. 328235

I grew up with other relatives that did this shit to their s.o. and kids and its something I cant escape. When I see my nephew I see he's stressed. His mom, boyfriend's sister, yells at him like a dog and thinks he can function by himself even though he's almost 2. I want to call CPS on her but again she won't tell us where she's at or what is happening with my nephew. I want a good life for him. I kinda wanted to see him this Thanksgiving

No. 328251

Shit, sorry I completely read your response wrong. I though you yourself were brushing things off with that. Get a new therapist, yours is shit!

No. 328252

I was doing profile pic commissions and some guy asked if I was okay with doing a fursona. I'd never done one before, and it was some fox/lion/dog/deer hybrid, but they just wanted a face pic like everyone else, so I thought "as long as they know I've never done it before, I don't see why I wouldn't be okay with doing a fursona." It turned out okay, and they were really happy with it and said that it was perfect for their profile rebrand.

They rebranded to be a diaper and vomit furry reblogging account…..
I drew the face of a diaper and vomit reblogging account.

Jesus fuck, I'm never opening commissions again.

No. 328253

TAKE HIM THE FUCK DOWN. He doesn't even deserve to be alive, let alone have any social capital. Proud of you for channeling your pain into making society aware of this sick fuck.

No. 328262

I lol'd anon. I'm thinking of making a tangentially furry-related product to sell but I have reservations because of things like this.

No. 328264

rip lol

No. 328269


Long-ish vent. Not sure if it belongs here. Really need to get off my chest.

I had an amazing cat for eight months. He was chubby, had silky white fur, always needed to hug someone or be hugged. He had two ginger spots on his ears that looked like a hairline. Kind of like someone combed his bangs apart. He had a weird baby meow, but I loved him anyway. He was in perfect health for those eight months. Two days ago he stopped eating. And now I have to keep his dead body in the living room until tomorrow morning, when I have the strength to go out and bury him, because halfway through the night he threw up his guts and died.

I know everyone laughs at the "fur-baby" moms, but I just can't help but feel like I lost my little baby. To a painful fucking death no less. He cried the whole two days, lost his voice in the end, couldn't walk, smelled like throw-up and blood, and died just like that. I'm lost. He didn't deserve this. He was the complete opposite of the evil plotting cat stereotype. My only consolation is that he's free from the pain he was in, but I'll never hold him in my lap again, and it's a horrible feeling.

No. 328270

File: 1542846553243.png (817.81 KB, 849x1200, 1542727424362.png)

Maybe you can write some terms and conditions on how your commissions can be used? Like "i'll draw your dumb furry icon but if you use it for nsfw stuff i'll cut you" or something that's less violent.
Literally the reason I won't touch furry commissions.

No. 328272

So I was friends with this girl in middle school, but when we were 14 we had a falling out because she was a compulsive liar and read some mean shit I wrote about her in my diary.

Fast forward. I'm 20 now, and six years later, she still hates me. Over a middle school cat fight! She follows me in her car and honks at me while I'm out walking and is constantly trying to turn my friends against me.

She's an obese druggie loser who lives with her parents. She wasted two opportunities to go to college. I think she blames me for all of her shitty descisions, even though all I did was have a fight with her in middle school.


No. 328273

Not to be mean anon, but why didn't you take him to the vet?

No. 328278


I did. I went to my neighborhood vet today, the second day since he felt bad. She's in a small place and doesn't have the equipment for things like X-rays or blood tests, so all she could do was give him IV fluids, a painkiller and a basic check up. No definitive diagnosis, so no treatment plan, but he was looking much better after the IV, so we agreed that I would take him to get his real, extensive exams for an actual diagnosis tomorrow since it was getting late. A couple of hours after we got home he got worse, but the vet had warned me that he could be drowsy from the pain killer. It turned out he was drowsy because he was dying. I agree that I probably went to the vet too late.

No. 328279

Sorry you lost your cat in such a way anon. Did he ever go out or was he an indoor cat?

No. 328281


He went outside a lot. I wonder if I could've avoided this by just keeping him safe at home.

No. 328282


Don't waste any energy imagining people who'd make fun of you for this, anon. This is a loss and it's okay to feel it. You gave him a wonderful life, even if it wasn't as long as you'd like. Is there anyone you can call to help you bury him and maybe be with you after?

No. 328284


:( you and the other anon are so nice. Thank you for the reassuring words. I do have someone to help me with the burial. I hope once it's done my cat can finally be at "peace". He's definitely the kind of kitty that would go to heaven.

No. 328287

Yeah, I had to ask because from his symptoms it sounds like he might have eaten something toxic.

No. 328291


That crossed my mind, too :( You can't control everything your pet puts in its mouth, though I always hoped he'd realize it was toxic before he tried eating it…

No. 328314


I did the same with my ex after he fucked me over (by cheating) and pushed me against a mirror, the mirror broke and it cut me. He got FUCKED.

No. 328319

im so sorry anon. don't let anyone invalidate the grief you feel, its real and its ok to hurt a lot. that so terrible, I hope you can heal. at least he is no longer in pain.

my heart goes out to you.

No. 328324

File: 1542859194236.gif (393.37 KB, 250x150, 432AC08F-B67F-469E-B19D-537D2F…)

that's so fucked omg, but girl i'm glad you got some revenge. hopefully the dude is missing an appendage or something. cheaters and abusers are the worst kind of scum.

No. 328328

File: 1542860056839.jpg (111.51 KB, 506x640, mfw.jpg)

I was at the receiving end of my mother's narc rage earlier and I'm still disturbed by the shit she said (reactive abuse - provoked me with mistreatment and then called me abusive for reacting to her abuse). She went full circle on breaking me down as a person, until it had nothing to do with the original reason we started to argue. Clearly I got baited into the argument and gave her the supply; I've been stressed out or else I'm usually keen to avoid it.
I now believe moving home temporarily to escape my shitty ex (read about his way of treating me here >>298872 and >>298875) was a trap and a mistake, the argument we had just highlights her need to feel holier and in control.
Yet I don't feel like there was a better option. It was either deal with her shenanigans or keep on with my ex.

I moved into the guest bedroom a little over a month ago because I'm not in a financial spot to afford rents on my own. My parents both said I was welcome here, "even if I had to stay for a year." They weren't gonna charge me rent or nothing. I've been trying to make myself as scarce as possible however, like staying with friends and this new guy I'm seeing overnight in the city on the basis of the half-truth that it cuts my commute time. In reality, it's because I know the welcome in regards to my mother always wears thin no matter what wonderful things she promises initially.
I offer to do chores when I'm here, buy groceries, and make sure to spend a bit of time with them both and be around for occasions like her birthday. All things that generally express my gratitude, but also my cautious reserve that if I don't do these things, she'll accuse me of taking advantage and imposing.

The goal of me moving back was to try to pay down some of my debts and look into finding a better job. I've been employed at a call center for the past three years and had been wanting to quit it for the last two, but I felt pressured to carry on with it because of expectations. Yet it's been very clear from the start that my time left at my current company would be coming to an end as I had been updating my resume to apply to new jobs.
I wasn't too concerned about the when of resigning since last month, because my ex was to send me a check to the tune of a couple thousand dollars owed to me through an insurance claim. He dragged his feet with it for longer than anticipated, but the money was meant to cushion my transition so as to be caught up with bills.

The check came today, and coincidentally I resolved to type up my two week's notice to quit my job. I applied to a plethora of jobs today.
I took the day off to drive home, and as soon as I walked into the door she was there (pensioned retiree). I was in a bit of a hurry to try to deposit my check before the bank closed, so I mentioned how I intended to type my two week's on the way out the door.
She replied "Yeah, well good luck," in this horribly condescending, chiding tone complete with a look of disapproval.
I should have ignored it and let it go, but I was emotional and reacted accordingly.
"What do you mean 'good luck'? Do you think I won't find employment?"

Oh my god…what I had done in that moment. I injured her by questioning what she had said to me in a less-than-sweetly way.
To type the entire hour's exchange here would be exhausting, but here's some highlights:
Here she accused me of quitting my job so I could live at home unemployed to mooch off her fixed income despite me never asking her to help with my bills. Fun fact though: She solicited to help me pay bills if I "fell into trouble," but I knew this was a narc's promise and look how she redacted it the second she felt I had criticized her.
And because I wasn't going about switching jobs in the way she felt was correct, I was trying to swindle her of her money.

I defended by saying that the insurance check was meant to pad my bills so I can look for meaningful work, but that I got stymied by my ex withholding my money for longer than anticipated,
She tried to say because I found out a year after I moved in with my ex that he was manipulative and wasn't going to change, it was my fault for not magically knowing what he was like before I got myself into a situation that was harder to leave.
Ergo, my predicament for even having to move back home temporarily is my fault.
Burn victims choose to be burnt.
Abuse victims choose their abusers.

Because I knew she was misdirecting the argument to put everything about my life on blast, I retorted back to the main issue that this wasn't about my ex, but about how she talked to me when I told her I wanted to quit my job. And then,
Yes she did, said she was gaslighting me.
Yelled back if it's right to invalidate how I feel because I didn't understand her intent based on the tone.
I tried to get a word in about how it has nothing to do with anything, that this was all because of how she talked to me about quitting my job.
When I asked her what I had done to her, or what previous Thanksgiving I had allegedly ruined, she ignored me.
She said.

By this time I had been crying throughout the entire encounter over my laptop, trying to type my resignation letter.
What's more disturbing, is that she came over and tried to 'make up' with me by hugging me. She knew she had got to me. So her supply was satisfied as she lavished in my defeated tears.
She made sure this was over before my dad came home from work, the voice of reason who would have broken up her bullshit. She did this to me because I was alone, no one else was around to referee the unnecessary shit she said.

And just to prove that this was a non-issue: When I told my dad what I planned to do he accepted it, and asked to see the job applications I had done. He said my resignation letter was well written.
Almost like…my mom just cooked up some drama to berate me about other things.

If you're curious about how my mom treats my love life, read >>322864 for more antics (shoutout to anon in that thread who properly assessed she was a narc).

No. 328332

I'm so sorry you have to deal with your mom. She sounds so fucking bad. I'm proud of you for handling the situation as much as you can and for acknowledging what she's been doing to you. I hope you can find a way out somehow, because no one should have to deal with people like that.

No. 328337


Thank you for the kind words anon

No. 328338

File: 1542864660070.jpg (35.78 KB, 633x622, 1541395084983.jpg)

>find out my sister borrowed my favorite dress without permission
>her dumbass washed it and put it in the fucking dryer
>it shrunk and is now unwearable

words cannot describe this pain

No. 328362

diff anon, reading your initial post I thought about antifreeze poisoning right away, although I'm bit paranoid about that as my kitties are outside cats too. I'm very sorry about your loss!

No. 328363

File: 1542871521276.jpeg (78.99 KB, 500x584, 61E8FDDD-5B6A-4BD6-8B5A-98C8A4…)

I think I’m finally going to let go of my shitty friends, especially my best friend. She was awful to me in jr high and in high school. My dumbass brought all the old shit she did to me too late so she claimed she didn’t remember and never apologized. At this point I’m just going to cut her out of my life, since we barely hang out anyway. The friendship always felt forced.

Even tho I know she’s terrible, I’m having a hard time letting go. It’s frustrating.

No. 328366

This may sound harsh, but if she was crying non stop as you say, I just can't understand why you waited at all. Cat wailing is an awful heartbreaking sound, I'd have been at the vet asap. There's no way I could bear it for two hours, let alone an entire day.

I'm sorry for your cat and I hope she didn't suffer needlessly.

No. 328367

Be straight with them anon. That’s fucking stupid imo

No. 328368

Yeah that’s sad a shit. If you can get an idea then please call for his sake. Makes me sad

No. 328370

Weird as shit. Get a restraining order if needed??

No. 328381

I had a dream about my mom this night.
In my dream she was alive and well, wearing extra colorful clothes and had harajuku-tier dyed bob (she always loved colorful shit). She looked so happy. I was kinda surprised, because I thought she died.
I clearly remember she was wearing a yellow puffer, light blue tapered jeans, my boots(kek) and the ends of her hair were dyed pink and purple in a weird pattern.
We talked about some mundane shit like clothes or something and when she left it dawned on me that she’s dead irl
We met again on a bench somewhere and I started crying and said I love her and I will always love her and then I woke up.

I’ve been intermittently crying for an hour and a half. Now, I’m not a religious or a spiritual person, but I feel like she visited me in my sleep, considering that dad told me that yesterday he talked to her before falling asleep and she said her goodbyes.
It’s so sad, why did she have to die so early

No. 328382

Public transport is honestly so fucking shit. I have to travel by train to see my boyfriend, who lives an hour away by car, but public transport makes it two hours because of shit transits. Today, I missed my transit because my train was delayed for 3 minutes. Now I'm in a shitty crowded train full of tourists, and I have to wait for 30 minutes for my next train. I'm so frustrated. I just want to see my boyfriend. Maybe it's time to get my driver's license soon.

No. 328387


He didn't actually "cry" the whole two days. He didn't wail, I guess I worded that wrong because I was emotional when I wrote it. He whimpered a bit on the first day, then whimpered a lot on the second day, both days mostly when you touched him, not non-stop. I know it's not "crying"…but that's what it felt like. I wouldn't have been able to stand him wailing, either. If he were wailing I would've gone much sooner. I should've gone sooner anyway, though, I agree. He was on painkillers in the end when it was worst. I hope it counted for something.

No. 328389

This shit happens to me so much, I'm sorry you have to deal with it too anon. It's been 8 years but every time I have a dream about my mom my idiot brain forgets she's dead and I wake up crushed.

No. 328392

I’m sorry you had to deal with your mom passing away too, anon.
I’m chainsmoking and drinking camomile tea (told myself I wouldn’t smoke today but here I am)
It’s been a bit more than a month
Does it get better?

No. 328394


NTA but my mum passed away in January.

It got less raw. But whenever anything big happens in my life I still spend all day with this weird nagging feeling like there's somebody I've forgotten to call and tell, and then I remember it's my mum. And then I remember I can't tell her anything anymore.

No. 328400

ah no I actually meant that outside people are doing that, my therapist isn't doing anything wrong.
Sorry, I really need to learn to explain better.

No. 328401

I feel constant crushing shame and I don't even know why

No. 328444

File: 1542893623591.jpg (33.4 KB, 500x397, tumblr_mmqscpMD4S1qzk2upo3_500…)

I'm about to fly back to my home country for six weeks, and whenever I think about being away from my boyfriend for that long I start sobbing uncontrollably. We've been together for two years, and although our countries are like 10k miles apart we've managed to be physically together for almost all of our relationship. When I last flew home in March we missed each other so much I flew back after three weeks, but that isn't an option this time. I don't know how I'm going to cope.

No. 328452

Yikes. Have you ever tried to talk to your (step?)dad about this? Not in a trash-talk way, but a neutral way. Be sure to let him know that you're telling the truth.

Side note, how old is your mom? She might be going through menopause. My mom used to say the same sort of nasty things to me when she was going through menopause, but now we get along great.

At one point during menopause I recall going into the front yard so she couldn't shout at me. This also might work for you. Narcisists care a lot about what others think, and they know they're acting shitty. If you give them an audience (going outside puts neighbors in earshot), they'll behave.

No. 328467

6 weeks isnt that long anon, this is coming from somebody who hasn’t physically been with then partner in a little under a year amd we are closing the distance in around 6 weeks. We’re completely giddy at the thought of only 6 weeks being left! I imagine it will go by quickly, especially if you’re seeing family and doing stuff for the holidays.

No. 328505

I feel like I'm really going crazy. The whole day my mood changes from okay to nearly crying to wanting to scream and rip all my hair out. And my mother is the main contributer to that.

She absolutely loves christmas and always gifts me and my siblings a lot. But I just don't feel mentally well enough to really care. I vent to her about how stressed I am with Uni stuff and when she complains about how stressed she is - because she still has not enough presents for us… Like I know that it's super sweet, but doesn't she get how nil her problems are? She always says she's stressed, yet she spends hours on her phone, drinking coffee, going shopping… I wish my biggest problem were christmas preparations in the middle of november, but right now I'm more concerned with trying not to fail my degree. I know that I need to study more, I really should, but what she doesn't get is, that if I don't study I sometimes just don't want to do anything. Yesterday I was shopping with her. Today I was also shopping because she constantly tells me that I NEED to find boots and a bag so that she can gift them to me on christmas. But I didn't find anything. Now she's bothering me to search for some on the internet, so that we can order them. I honestly don't care anymore, I just want to be left alone. If i don't find any and have to feel cold in winter - so be it. It stresses me so much.
My mother knows that I don't feel well and thinks she can compensate by giving me materialistic things. When I was a child my parents didn't have as much money and were very strict, so I didn't get a lot, and now she constantly wants me to have new things. I already feel depressed and awful, I'm lucky if I manage to brush my teeth twice a day, sorry but I couldn't care less about clothes. It places an additional burden on me. I wish she would just let me be ugly and poorly dressed, because having nice stuff and still feeling ugly feels worse than not trying at all.

I've vented about this before, but my misophonia in relation to my mother's eating and drinking is killing me as well. Right now she's sitting 2 rooms away from me (with open doors) and I can still hear her disgustingly loud swallowing. She's only drinking coffee, how can she make so much noise while doing that?! As a little proof that I'm not overracting: my little sister leaves the room when my mother starts eating - that's how bad it is. She really sounds like a cow or a horse.

What should I do? I know what I should do, go away, into my room and study. However, for a few years already I've had this big fear of my parents dying. And therefore I always feel "guilty" when I'm upstairs instead of keeping my mother - who's sitting alone in the didning room - company. Even when both of my parents are a home, I still don't want to waste any time away from them. If I were to only study it would be fine I guess, but I am lazy, do other things and as a result feel guilty because I browsed e.g. lolcow instead of talking to my mother. She's only 49, so that fear is completely irrational, but I still feel scared.

No. 328507

My dad had a stroke a few years ago which made it very hard for him to talk, write or read. And then after that he got mouth cancer and they had to remove all of his teeth so they could operate to remove the tumour from his tongue. And then my mum died.

He's very unhappy. I call him every night and visit him as many weekends as I can afford and he seems so tired of living. He doesn't like me to see him sad so he tries to hide it, but I know him well enough that I can tell.

It's breaking my heart to see him this way. I want so badly to help him. I'm already trying to organise something with a specialist dentist to get him either dentures or implants so he can eat solid food again, and I'm trying to get him to enrol in some speech therapy for stroke victims, but he says he doesn't want to. I cry most nights after I hang up after talking to him because he sounds so defeated and I don't know what to do to make it better. I know I can't just expect him to get over three such traumatic events and be happy and smiling all the time, but I love him and I want him to have a life that he gets at least a bit of joy out of. I feel so fucking useless.

No. 328528

You are not useless. Your post shows you care and I'm sure your father appreciates that. Just stick by him and you'll get through it eventually. What you described sounds like it could take many years to heal. Anyways just wanted to say you sound like an awesome daughter.

No. 328535

Thanks, anon. To be honest I feel kind of selfish because I can only see him once a weekend right now because of the cost of travel. If I moved closer to him I could see him more but I don't like the area he lives in (it's out in the sticks) and it would make the commute to my job very long. If I were more unselfish I would suck it up and do it though. I guess I feel guilty that there are things I'm not willing to sacrifice and useless because the things I am doing don't feel good enough.

No. 328577

It's awesome you call your dad. I bet it's the highlight of the day when you do so!

No. 328607

I'm not looking forward to being old(er) not because of hitting a wall or because of wrinkles or stuff like that. It's when I see and hear people in their 50s talking about hip surgeries and other health conditions that terrifies me. I don't want to live long if my life starts sucking big balls after I turn 60.
I'm terrified of getting old because in a few years I'll be 30 and I feel like there's so little time to enjoy the world while I have enough money and energy and health to do so.

Sure, there are older people that are doing great physically but that's more of an exception. I guess fearing mortality is normal but life is such a curse. Everything is fleeting and I'm often in panic mode where I think I haven't achieved enough, I'll probably remain a wage slave and spend the best years of my life working to pay the bills instead of doing things that I like. Depressing…

No. 328617

File: 1542909501972.jpg (139.87 KB, 974x694, side-sleeper-pro-pillow1_50d23…)

Any anons know a good pillow for side sleeping? In the last year or so I've been really struggling to find a pillow that doesn't cause me immense pain. I feel like I've tried almost everything - normal cheap pillows, memory foam, buckwheat, cervical, all of varying firmnesses. At best, I sleep but wake up with near-crippling neck and shoulder pain; at worse, I can't sleep at all, like tonight. All pillows feel like they either prop my head up too much or let it sag down too much, never like my neck is straight…I'm considering trying a pillow like pic related.

No. 328631


Anon, I'm sorry you feel that way. I relate a lot.

There's lots of miserable young people who have poor health and lots of 50 and 60+ year olds that live fulfilling lives without being crippled. Life really is fleeting, and your younger years won't necessarily be the best years of your life. Your twenties are a very small, stressful part of it. If there are things you want to do, and they're reasonably doable, just push yourself out of your comfort zone and do them.

As for what you've achieved, you've probably done a lot more and gone through a lot of things you don't remember about. What you'll achieve starting now is up to you.

Besides, not having "achieved enough" in life doesn't take away from your value as a person. You don't owe anyone a grand achievement. I know it's just general advice, but most of it is true. I hope you feel better soon.

No. 328669

You're not selfish at all for not moving to an area you don't like just to be with him, specially if that implies long commutes, on top of taking a lot of your time the chances of you getting late to work are higher imo.

Your ideas are amazing, and you seem like a very good daughter, but don't forget to take care of yourself. I know that your dad's well being is probably your top priority right now, but I'm sure he wants to see you happy as well, so try to not be so hard on yourself.

No. 328677

Thanks, that's really nice of you to say.

My dad is an amazing person, probably the kindest person I've ever met, so I just want him to have happiness in his life. The string of terrible luck he's had over the past four years is just insane, and he doesn't deserve it. My dream would be for him to quickly get the dental care he needs to be able to eat real food again, some good therapy to help him talk and read properly again, and then for him to be able to pursue whatever he wants to do, like a hobby or travelling or whatever. But I know I can't push for it all too much because he's still grieving my mum and just genuinely doesn't really want to do much except stay at home and play board games with me on the weekends right now.

No. 328679

I feel like such a failure in everything, I have no close family that is capable of helping or saying something normal and not borderline paranoic, the ones that care at least, and no one I can really open up fully with.
I was so happy a couple of weeks ago thinking that I was improving the way I interact with other people and deal with stress in life after some therapy and starting a coding bootcamp but it seems that just it just takes a little bit more of pressure, stress, and sudden change for me to crack under it all while others keep on business like usual.
I hate this so much, I just want to be able to control my emotions and feel like an adult capable of dealing and functioning in life for a fucking change.
I feel so pathetic, a normal person wouldn't fall in despair just because they got partnered up with some patronizing asshole.
It all sucks so much, I tried to do everything right, I communicated, when it became too much I opened up with people that were actually really nice, and now it feels like I'll just throw away all the chances, and money, I got because I can't stop being terrified of the world just the same as I was when I was 5.
I'd say that I want to die but, it's not it, I just want to feel things normally for a change and to trust that I'm able to build a career and family(lol, like never) for myself.

No. 328686

File: 1542918612400.gif (826.39 KB, 324x183, giphy.gif)

I got my bf a giftcard for two massages of whichever kind he likes in that massage place that he really liked. His response to it was literally "wtf is this". Great.

The only reason why i got it for him is because he spent the last week in Russia working 12 hours 7 days and he was complaining how tired he was and how everything hurt. I just wanted to help him, that's all. Now he's not responding so he probably just went to bed, not even a thank you. Such a great way to end today.

No. 328692

What a childish dick, holy shit. I can't think of any excuse for responding so ungratefully to a gift, even if it's not what you want.

Dump him, take the giftcards back and use em yourself.

No. 328694

What kind of person wouldn't appreciate a gift like that???

No. 328695

What???? That's a great gift and massages are fucking expensive. Sounds like there's something wrong with your bf and you need to get rid of him. Not even a thank you on top of it? What an asshole.

No. 328702

That is weird, especially since he likes the place.
Is he the type of person who hates gifts? I can relate to that, but it's DEFINITELY not an excuse to act like a pissbaby at your gf though holy shit.

No. 328707

I can't believe how much bullshit you deal with. You need some time for yourself away from loser men and your disgusting mom. I hope you find a well paying job that allows you to gtf away from her so you can get your own place. Keep going, anon.

No. 328713

That's fucking weird that he dislikes a gift like that, when he likes that place. Does he get happy endings there and think you found out or something?

No but for real though, maybe he's just cranky and sleep-deprived from working so much? I know my bf can be an outrageous asshole when he's overworked at his job. Hopefully your bf apologizes.

No. 328729

i fucking love jane austen and i'm not going to feel bad about it anymore. i've tried so hard to become more 'cultured' and branch out with the things i read, but EVERYTHING IS DEPRESSING. i like the cozy HEAs of austen novels too much to ever prefer everything else. i'm peak basic bitch and i don't want to feel bad about that n e more.

No. 328732

I like Jane Austen too but I'm more of a Brontë girl myself.

Besides, men during the world war one apparently loved reading her works in the trenches because she has this great ability to immerse you in this picturesque british world. And I feel Austen's cynicism is often overlooked because it requires the reader to look between the lines. It's a shame her work is considered girly and not a serious read.

No. 328746

>considered girly and not a serious read
Ugh, I hate this. Of course anything written by and for women must be lowly garbage. I know so many """intellectual""" guys (aka barely above average intelligence pretentious Reddit dudebros who think they're hot shit because they read The Road or something like that) who roll their eyes at Austen/Bronte sister novels because it's "boring" or "overrated" or whatever. Like, just admit you hate women and can't read a novel with a strong female character because you're too retarded to empathize with someone who isn't exactly like you. I'm a woman and I can enjoy or at the very least respect lots of books centering around men/male relationships because I'm not… a fucking dumbass. Wow.

No. 328754

i am so fucking ugly oh my god i hate living like this i fail in every single way a woman is supposed to be attractive i have a huge man head and fridge body even though i’m short and stumpy as fuck and just ugly fat man features it makes me want to fucking kill myself every time i see a mirror or picture of me i can’t live like this!

No. 328758

My pet mouse died today. :(

No. 328759

Can you do battle?

No. 328761

I feel like my older sister has never cared to have much of a bond with me and my parents. My parents and I were invited by her to come over to her boyfriend’s place today and as usual, we all felt completely ignored by her. I don’t get what the fuck was the point of having us drive five hours to get to her place when she continues to be emotionally distant from us. She seems to care more about her friends more than us. I’m pretty pissed I wasted time when I already have a tight deadline just to see her and be ignored by her again.

No. 328773

File: 1542950929724.jpeg (57.6 KB, 540x558, A8880AB9-D973-4FD8-B083-355C0F…)

>hoard anti-depressants for months
>get about 10,00 mg trazodone saved up
>can an hero ?
> :))))

>google trazodone and health risks for stealth standard od dosage

>read that it is safe and OD’s are RARE
>be 20 and can’t buy alcohol yet to wash it down with for it to maybe work
> :(((((

i want to end it.
i am failing.
i am nothing.
mfw i can’t even come up with an effective suicide strat

No. 328776

Please don’t. This sounds cliche as fuck but you will regret it. Read about the people who survived jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge and regretted it the second they started falling. I tried to kill myself a few years ago with pills and it was horrible. I really started seriously regretting it about an hour after I took them when it was too late to puke them up (I tried). The effects didnt start until several hours later in the middle of the night when I started puking uncontrollably. It was deep, forest green coloured, and smelled like the most foul smell I’ve ever smelled. It was like overwhelming wet dog smell, which made me more sick. I couldn’t go more than a few seconds without puking. I had to shamefully tell my parents what I did and cried as my heartbroken dad drove me to the hospital. The doctors said that my liver was almost irreparably damaged. Nothing was ever quite the same after that, but I’m so glad I survived. My life now is totally different. I went from being a shy loser, with an abusive boyfriend, and always screwing up my friendships, to living a life I never thought was even possible just a few years ago. I’m married, I live abroad, I’m still fairly shy and have issues of course, my life isn’t perfect, but I’m so glad I lived to get this far.

No. 328778

File: 1542952234756.jpeg (54.21 KB, 500x499, AA234824-9F10-45D9-BD76-5EF520…)


purging gross shit is something i’m used to and hey maybe if an organ give i can just die like that and even if it’s painful. physical
pain really doesn’t bother me at this point.


everybody is so disappointed in me. i go to therapy, take my meds, shower, try to keep it all together, but i just want to fucking die. i feel like i am failing my classes but i don’t know where to even start
i didn’t want to make a whole sphiel but i’m way too afraid to talk to my therapist because of pic related

No. 328786

the law exists because of people feeling like you do. you absolutely should be put in a mental hospital and took care of until ou will not be a danger to yourself. I dunno why you don't want to give it a shot if you are willing to make a shit attempt at suicide (unless you worry about going in debt). Please get help anon. You are really young and still can unfuck your life.

No. 328788

so you're going to withold information from your therapist for what reason?
I agree with >>328786 if you want to waste away, at least think about it in a all white room with a shitty cot. What if you failed suicide? What then? Will you have to face the burden of a failed body continuously because your schooling at too hard on you?

No. 328795

File: 1542959508362.png (9.43 KB, 35x40, smol fucking korby.png)

okay i never come into /ot/ so 2 am is the time for dump

- my mom has hpd and made me move 2 hours to our hometown cuz she got with yet another crazy man and im 18 so i could have stayed but i was given no choice cuz hes knda abusive
- i legit am a prisoner in my own home. not allowed to leave. i take care of my grandma. legit get told to stay home.
- not allowed to get job cuz of above thing.
- i got to high school (im a senior) with my ex who raped me and beat me. he's learned my schduele twice and changed classes. he does all kinds of passive aggressive sstuff. has pulled cool stunts to make me look bad for ignoring him when he was saying my name and throwing stuff at me in front of people which i just put my earbud in and got called rude and a bitch (he threw 5 metal beads at me and a pencil). school is aware of this but have done a shit job. next step would be them talking to him but i legit fear for my safety lol
- its 3 am and i unblocked him and might messsage him and be like wyd i wanna talk cuz i feel unwanted and nasty and thats close enough cuz he will get me drunk at leasst
- my mom making me move took me out of the treatment center i was in. i have the dox of C-PTSD under my belt. i am a mess. already been to the psych ward for a week and a half and we have been back here 4 months. already relapsed of self harm after being cleaning for over a year.
- told my mom the other night shes a lair and she got mad at me. told me all i do is bitch and never appreciate her and use her.
- she wanted me to come to thanksgiving dinner and i refused cuz i wasnt even dressed or there and was crying on the couch watching the dog show
- i had a breakdown the other day and did clown makeup and laughed at myself for like 15 minutes and cried.
- might do sex work since it's the only thing i can offer that wont get me in trouble for leaving the house and wont be an issue
- my skin picking is so bad i almost ripped off a toe nail and im about to shave my head so i will stop picking at my scalp
- my brother calls me an it and a retard and treats me like an object or a maid
- im trying to graduate so hard cuz my friend is legit coming to get me from here by driving like 5 hours next summer and letting me live w/ her but im barely holding on and im losing it

heres a kirby for your troubles

No. 328801

File: 1542964602343.jpeg (250.37 KB, 1000x1000, 5FAE7D0B-61A7-444E-BF39-5AE50C…)

I’m having a panic attack and have not been able to calm myself down whatsoever. I’ve been like this all day and all I can do is hopelessly rub my face, whimper, and hope this goes away. I have an awful headache, feel vomit creeping up my throat, and my body is shaking.
I have no one to vent to because all my e-friends take hours to answer and/or don’t give a shit. The only female friend here which I added from here ghosted me and all I have are guy friends who probably wouldn’t understand. I just want to die or stop being conscious. This is mental torture and I can’t take it.

No. 328807

My close friend and her bf seem to mean well in giving me relationship advice, but I'm not sure they have a good handle on my relationship or bf.
I've talked to her about my bf quite a bit, but it's not as if I've told her tons about our plans to move in (we are currently LDR) other than basics, and even she commented she doesn't know him well and worried he disliked her and was holding me back from hanging out. I'm not sure she and her bf knew we'd been going out for a few years and known each other longer, not that we just started planning this recently. There are a lot of factors I haven't gone into with them about why we are doing things like this, because I don't feel the need to share those details with people who aren't directly involved.
I appreciate their concern, but feel like they overstepped and didn't actually get the situation correct. I bit my tongue back a lot and just listened and nodded. Maybe at a time where I wasn't totally tired and worn out, I would've told them more detail and they would've seen why I'm doing things this way.
I know he and I have plenty of issues, but I'm pretty sure the way we are doing things will work out for us. I just felt a bit bothered by this convo. I took in their advice, but don't agree with all of their conclusions.

No. 328818

I saw this in the unpopular opinion thread on crystal.cafe. Wtf is wrong with them?! From time to time I decide to go there and see how it is, but while I don't believe that "femcels" are a thing, they really do try their best to emulate the behavior of robots as much as possible. But then don't see why lolcow users think that half their threads are made by men. (Right now they have a thread there they discuss whether straight women also like to go to strip joints and get lap dances. It's like scrots living out their little fantasies.)

Somebody said that people who hate babies are off-putting to her. This is how they react:
>I wish I could walk around scraping a nails on a mini chalkboard, that also smelled of poop and urine, and then judge the people who complained as having low empathy. Because that's what a baby is basically.
>Babies are nothing but annoying pieces of meat. They are animals pets that you can get for free.
>I'm not the one bringing a noise machine with me into restaurants and grocery stores and irritating everyone around me.
>I can't hear you over the sound of 50 wailing children you're constantly surrounded by. Enjoy your Stockholm Syndrome.
>Low IQ, less educated, lower income and more impulse driven people are more likely to produce offspring in western society.
>I'll be married but my children will be dogs and/or cats.

I also don't like babies and don't plan to have kids, but it's like they forget that they are talking about living beings, humans.
But on the other hand they have hundreds of vent threads from people crying how nobody loves them, that everybody is mean to them, etc. They don't have an ounce of sympathy for small humans yet expect everybody to cater to them, the grown up version of that? They have so many threads talking about wanting to be more feminine, wanting to be a cute little housewive and so on - but feel they're superior for thinking babies are stinking meat? They really think a prince in shining armour will find them and that they will be allowed to stay home and do nothing while wearing jfashion and browsing 4chan..
Deciding that you rather won't have children and instead want to focus on your career/friends/whatever is progressive. Being a weeby NEET who probably couldn't even get a baby if she wanted because she doesn't get a bf either and then talks shit about others, is not.

Having a non-gossipy imageboards for girls would have been such a nice idea, but they completely ruined it.

No. 328820

I’ll talk if you’d be up for it :(

No. 328821

People who always bitch about not liking babies are weird as fuck. I knew one like that and he smacked a kid because they were crying. Not even his kid. Ugh

No. 328824

How can i reach you anon??

No. 328825

People who OTT hate babies are so fucking obnoxious, I don't want children either but shit. It makes me think they're either edgelords or genuinely lack empathy for other human beings.

I understand the thought process anon, but your therapist is literally there to help you through situations like this, not to mention that it's actually really hard to kill yourself with pills and you're much more likely to fuck up your liver or kidneys permanently. Don't do it, talk to someone.

No. 328827

Ugh, child haters are obnoxious. I get not liking kids, I really do - I love kids but other people’s often give me the shits. But I can’t imagine whining about kids acting like kids all the time.
Honestly I’ve found that a lot of people that cannot go about their day without complaining about children are bratty adult children themselves

No. 328828

Ugh, child haters are obnoxious. I get not liking kids, I really do - I love kids but other people’s often give me the shits. But I can’t imagine whining about kids acting like kids all the time.
Honestly I’ve found that a lot of people that cannot go about their day without complaining about children are bratty adult children themselves

No. 328831

I used to think I hated kids but it turns out I don't actually hate them. I'm pretty neutral about them. But I do kind of hate myself around them, because I'm socially awkward enough with adults. Put me with a tiny human who doesn't know how to deal with a NEET who doesn't know how to talk to people yet and I'm a disaster.

No. 328832

Same, you'd expect to be better with kids since they're, well, kids, but nope. It's even more difficult than with adults imo

No. 328837

Email or discord? Just put your discord if you prefer that

No. 328840

Here’s my throwaway email and I’ll give ya my discord from there

No. 328841

> a lot of people that cannot go about their day without complaining about children are bratty adult children themselves

this is true for a lot of people. every time i read child hating comments i always get a flashback to that woman from like 10+ years ago on lj who had a full on meltdown because some child got to have the first copy of a harry potter book or some dumb childish shit like that

No. 328845

File: 1542976708642.png (505.95 KB, 1024x1023, 1542452325891.png)

The past few days I have felt so fucking awful it's making me extremely worried that there is something wrong with me.
I constantly have the feeling like I need to yawn/take in more oxygen/my lungs are half full, but I really feel like this isn't related to anxiety as others have told me (because it's 24/7 even when I'm calm).
I have no appetite, and my head is so fucked. It feels like I'm experiencing motion sickness constantly and I have so much head nausea. The only thing that helps a bit is lying down, but the more time I spend lying down, the worse it is when I have to get up. I've looked into orthostatic hypotension but there's nothing you can do about it other than drink water and salt which I do. It's just hard to explain and I can barely string together the words to do so.
I'm traveling right now so I don't have access to normal healthcare and I'm just really fucking depressed and worried. I know self diagnosing is bad but I just want to know what the fuck is wrong with me. I feel like I can't live and I want to die.

No. 328848

>I constantly have the feeling like I need to yawn/take in more oxygen/my lungs are half full, but I really feel like this isn't related to anxiety as others have told me (because it's 24/7 even when I'm calm).

The same thing happens to me sometimes, I'm not 100% sure but I think it could be that your back muscles are stiff and need some relaxing. Do you sit with a bad posture for long periods of time? Maybe you could try doing some stretches that focus on your back, shoulders and sides and see if it helps at all.

No. 328852

How are your iron levels? I get the shallow breath when I don't take my supplements, although I don't quite get nauseous, just head spinning and extreme fatigue.
Alternatively you could have a flu of some sort.

No. 328853

hey samefag as this post but i got super high + upset and posted this lol

No. 328860

Have you been checked for asthma, anon? I get that breath thing all the time and for me it's because of my asthma.

No. 328880

What's your diet like? You might be seriously deficient in something. Do you take medication? Are you travelling somewhere where you could have caught some weird bug/got bitten by something?

Like another anon mentioned, it might also be a fucked up back/neck or a pinched nerve, I've had weird symptoms from that before.

No. 328914

File: 1542999817309.jpg (71.92 KB, 560x571, a122009b-7d30-4b8d-a08c-42c652…)

I won't necro the self sabotage thread to post this, but I have a terrible habbit of leaving perishable items out for hours at a time before I finish them. I'm drinking some egg nog I've had sitting on my end table for the past 8 hours right now. I wish it didn't take me so long to eat/finish things, I'm going to give myself salmonella one of these days.

No. 328916

So.. this is a very bizarre issue of mine.. but no matter BMI I am.. like from 22 to as high as 29 (blergh), I always have a 20 pound weight gain if I eat certain kinds of food like breads, macaroni, ect, that happens in literally a period of 2 weeks. As soon as I change my diet from that, even a little, and avoid those foods, I start losing weight as much as 3-4 pounds a day and always set on a "real" (?) weight. This happens no matter how much I exercise, how intense it is, actually it gets worse when I don't eat with a 12 hour window and stop exercising (which unfortunately, I had to do since May up until now because I had some weird problems until I corrected it with iron tablets).

So does anyone else gain and lose up to 20 pounds in 2 week period or is it just me? What issue is this?

No. 328919

eating slow is alright, learn to not be messy af and pick up after yourself

No. 328925

well, my problem isn't necessarily with being messy. I only do it when I drink stuff or eat meals, especially when I eat hot foods. here's an example from last week:
>be me last week
>buy a lamb ghallaba sandwich for dinner at 5 pm
>take a bite out of sandwich every hour or so
>realise how slow I'm eating it, but don't put it in the refrigerator because I don't want it to get cold and soggy
>end up finishing it at midnight
>stummy hurt the next day

No. 328928

H-how does it take you 7 hours to eat a sandwich? Sounds like you have no appetite at all which suggests other health problems. Or you could plan for it: I'm only going to eat a bite so I cut off a bite and put the rest in the fridge.

No. 328930

lmao same anon, every person i've ever lived with has shamed me so much for this, i always leave stuff uneaten, sometimes for a few days and then i'll just gulp it down if it doesn't smell bad

i understand that this is disgusting but i just dont care enough to not do it

No. 328934

File: 1543008326338.png (375.72 KB, 500x499, i-will-do-everything-in-my-pow…)

idk it just takes me several hours to eat/drink things. appetite has been truant since like summer 2017. might be dying?

still haven't finished my eggnog…

No. 328937

Some people don't have a very big appetite, like the human stomach is only about the size of your two fists put together. Most servings are way too big for me, so if I'm at home I'll just have small servings but when I'm out with friends I have to ask to share something with them. I honestly don't know how some people eat so much. (Ironically I'm fat, and people are always shocked by how little I can eat.)

No. 328949

Because you stomach stretches out if you consistently keep stuffing yourself.

No. 329031


Especially those that believe being late is not even something to apologize about.

I had plans to lunch with my friend at 1 today, they ran late as usual but I had planned for that. Eventually he only shows up around half past 2, which is the exact time I had other plans with my parents. He got upset, almost implying I stood him up or something.
Now this is a very good friend of mine I've known for years, and he should know better. But how fucking dense can you be to think that I'm the one who stood him up? Shouldn't it be the opposite? I'm trying to explain it to him now but nothing is getting through his thick skull.

No. 329040

Anyone have any advice or tips for requesting to have a pet from your landlord? I live in a country that is notorious for not having pet-friendly rentals, so by default most places don't allow pets unless you request specifically to from the landlord, and even then people get told no all the time. My last rental I asked and was flat out told no, but the landlord was a total asshole anyway so it wasn't surprising. I'm in a new one now so I'm wondering if there is a way I can word my letter that might make the landlord more inclined to say yes to a cat.

No. 329044

Did you already plan to offer money? In my 'murican experience, most landlords charge about $300 for cats and don't allow any other pets except like fish and hamsters. Maybe you should offer higher.

No. 329049

Offer to pay an additional deposit and pet rent, anon. That might help. I live in a city where it’s actually against the law to discriminate against pet owners/to tell people they can’t have pets in their rental properties (and as a pet owner, I think that’s actually kind of dumb to tell landlords they can’t restrict tenants) but people still do it. We just offered our first landlord here pet rent and he took it.

No. 329055

We don't talk anymore and I miss him way too much. I just spend my day waiting for him to text me again. I hate men

No. 329056

How much would be appropriate? My rent is approx $1500 USD a month. I don't want to add a lot of money on top of that + additional expenses having a pet will bring.

No. 329075

File: 1543059907323.gif (568.74 KB, 500x500, 1532761860067.gif)

I really miss having those fun, light-hearted messages and exchanges with someone. They gave me something to look forward to.

No. 329076